#yas get it confident king

[haveihitanerve]

Gregor and Ares, on an adventure they are not supposed to be on: la di da di Luxa, Aurora, Ripred, Howard, Nike, and Temp: *waiting in the shadows* Gregor: ares, i feel like we’re being watched Ares: gregor, have you seen us? We are always being watched. We are beo-ti-fuol. *flips hair and accidentally knocks gregor off of his back*

[flamboyant-king]

I know im the funny haha comic person but i really do want to sell merch at conventions or online too ya know. Think that would be easier than doing commissions once a year pshh

[specshroom]

Fantasy Short Kings <3

~•°♥°•~

Your typical brash Dwarf warrior. Who is only amused when you, the mage of the party, try and rile him up by poking fun at his height. He knows you're only acting like a brat so he'll go rough on you but he eventually gives in to your lewd fantasies.

"You know, I can probably find a spell to make you....bigger."

He grabs onto the belt hugging your hips and pulls you down to your knees in front of him.

"Are ya sure? Ye can't even handle me this size, Lass."

You can't help the pleased look on your face as you bite your lip and look up at him with love struck eyes from your place, kneeling on the floor. The dwarf scoffs at how satisfied you are with yourself and your "plan". He wastes no time lifting you over his broad shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carrying you towards his tent.

~•°♥°•~

Goblin boyfriend who is very horny for you and you alone. When others belittle his sexual abilities or make fun of his height he probably wasn't listening cus he was staring at your boobs. However, when he does manage to pay attention to the comments, his reaction is basically just: "Hoes mad."

He's obsessed with your legs, thighs specifically. He encourages you to wear shorts, skirts, dresses, tighter pants, anything to show off your gorgeous legs.

His goal is to make you feel even half as sexy as he thinks you are.... and he really likes your legs. His undeniable attraction and unrelenting hunger for you gets you off far more than any bigger man could.

~•°♥°•~

Werewolf who's the runt of his pack and definitely on the smaller side. Most of the pack laughs when he finally confesses that he got a mate. He's confided with you about his insecurities before and how the pack treats him so you already have the perfect game plan when you both get invited to a pack get-together. That's why you're bouncing on his cock in the backseat of his car moaning into his neck,

"You gonna mark me up, Baby? Show them who I belong to?"

Making him whine out, "Yeah, f-fuck yes." while gripping your hips and cumming inside your greedy hole.

The look on his pack mates faces was priceless when you walked in there basically reeking of each other with barely hidden bite marks. While the older adults just looked happy that the smallest cub got himself a loving mate, many of the younger adults were clearly struggling with the fact that the runt they bullied for so long actually fucks.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie Morningstar, actual princess of hell, sitting very stiff and straight and awkward on the throne of hell during a Formal Thing, looking very Uncomfy about it... until....

Vaggie: "Are you guys all blind? She's gorgeous up there."

Angel Dust: "No surprises YOU'D like seein' her all stiff."

Vaggie: "Fuck off. She looks dignified. Formal-"

Alastor: "Tense?"

Niffty: "Like rigger mortis!"

Cherri Bomb: "Like she's sitting on TNT."

Angel Dust: "Stiffer than a porn star tryn'a pay rent."

Husk: "I can hear her fucking teeth grinding through that forced grin."

Vaggie: "Alright, she's a bit nervous sitting on the throne of hell for the first time, filling in for the absent queen mom and the shut in king dad. So what."

Alastor: "It is becoming SLIGHTLY detrimental, ha ha!"

Vaggie: "You told her to sit still up there and look pretty. Look. She's sitting. She's pretty."

Angel Dust: "You're gay."

Vaggie: "Hi gay I'm her girlfriend."

Husk: (snorts)

Alastor: "I'm SURE she is ALL those things, my dear-"

Vaggie: "Touch me and the sleeve comes off with your arm in it."

Husk: (SNIGGERS)

Alastor: "-but she IS mainly meant to be inspiring CONFIDENCE in her ability to run hell as it's de-facto ruler!"

Vaggie: "And?"

Alastor: "Well it WOULD be nice if she could make the symbolic at of sitting on the throne of hell, in full view of what is MEANT to be HER royal court, seem just a BIT more, hrmm... NATURAL~"

Vaggie: "What the fuck does that mean. She's princess of Hell. However she sits on the dumb chair is natural."

Angel Dust: "Toots, she's third in line ruler of all Pride, an' she looks..."

Niffty: "WRETCHED!"

Husk: "Fucking pitiful."

Alastor: "Once again I shall go with TENSE."

Vaggie: "You want her to relax up there?"

Alastor: "I would rather say, it is VITAL that she does so~!"

Cherri Bomb: "No sweat. Someone give me a drink and I'll slip her a chill pill."

Vaggie: "No."

Angel Dust: "NO!"

Niffty: "I could try giving her acupuncture!"

Angel Dust: "Cherri, we've TALKED about this-"

Husk: "You fucking know how?"

Cherri Bomb: "-don't be sucha stick in the mud, Angie."

Niffty: "You PUNCTURE!"

Angel Dust: "I ain't being a stick in the mud! You-"

Husk: "Unholy shit stop giggling and give me that fucking knife-"

Cherri Bomb: "Yeah, and I wasn't gonna get her royal highness high for real. Just something to take off the edge-"

Angel Dust: "She's got no history with that stuff! She'd be a KITE!"

Vaggie: "Someone hold my drink."

Husk: "-and where the fuck are YOU going?"

Vaggie: "Gonna go help my girlfriend."

Angel Dust: "Whoa whoa wait toots- ya supposed to be lying LOW here, Vagisaurus! Ex-exorcist bitch, remember? Lot's a people here who'd like to KILL ya???"

Vaggie: "If anyone's pissed enough to run up the dais steps and try murdering the princess of hell's partner right in front of her then they deserve to get at least one hit on me. You guys have fun, stick together, don't get killed."

Husk: "Take your own fucking advice-"

Angel Dust: "-aaaand she's took off, right in front of EVERYBODY oh that's just GREAT."

Niffty: "Alastor? Do you want her to die..?"

Alastor: "Right now, dearest? Well! If it helps our princess put on more of a royal bearing, then I fail to see why she shouldn't!"

Cherri Bomb: "Dude."

-

Charlie: "-eighty-three million ducks on the wall, eighty-three million duuucks... take one down.... pass it around..."

Charlie: "-don't think about how easy mom made this look don't think about her seeing you up here and wondering where she went wrong and maybe she did and that's why she left don't think about it don't think-"

Charlie: "... eighty-two million nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine ducks on the waaalllll-"

Vaggie: (swoops down) "Hey."

Charlie: "-oh thank HELL Vaggie! I was just getting-"

(gets smooched)

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: ".... hhh...hi..."

Vaggie: "This armrest taken?"

Charlie: "What armrest. Oh! The THRONE right um no I mean yes you can, or- or we could get you your own chair if you want-!"

Vaggie: "Thanks babe, this is good."

Charlie: "It's- it's close!"

Vaggie: "Nice being on eye level for once."

Charlie: "or kiss level."

Vaggie: "Hm?"

Charlie: "NO NOTHING. Ahem!" (using gf's thigh as armrest)

Charlie: "Sooo, how's the party going down there?"

Vaggie: "Typical. Niffty brought a knife."

Charlie: "A knife? Just one??"

Vaggie: "We'll see."

Charlie: "I... guess just a knife's not too bad-"

Vaggie: "Heavenly steel."

Charlie: "H- Did you confiscate-?"

Vaggie: "Husk's working on it. I had better things to do."

Charlie: "Oh." (drooping) "Better things right. Other things. Just checking in on me huh? Um, what is the other things that need doing?"

Vaggie: "Charlie."

Charlie: "Shoot did I forget something?"

Vaggie: "You didn't-"

Charlie: "Something IMPORTANT?"

Vaggie: "Sweetie, you're things."

Charlie: "My things??"

Vaggie: "The things are you."

Charlie: "I'M things? What things- OH I'M THE-"

Charlie: "-I'm the things that need doing."

Vaggie: "Do you?"

Charlie: "N-not in public!"

Vaggie: "Guess you'll have to wait, then."

Charlie: "..."

Charlie: "You know, these are the only times I ever wonder about you maybe being a liiiittle itty bit evil."

Vaggie: "Punishment to fit the sin, babe. I've been having to look at you all evening."

Charlie: "I was WONDERING why your wings were showing!"

Vaggie: "You bring it out in me."

Charlie: "HEHEHEHEH."

Vaggie: "So now we're just gonna have to suffer together for the rest of the night."

Charlie: "That phrasing isn't helping."

Vaggie: "You playing with the hem of my skirt isn't helping."

Charlie: "YOU'RE the one almost sitting on my LAP."

Vaggie: "Emphasis on almost."

Charlie: (sigh) "I wish you were sitting on my lap..."

Vaggie: "You're basically melting into mine now, so there's that."

Charlie: "Your fault." (pouts) "Evil temptress of cuddles denied."

Vaggie: "Hellishly cute seductress."

Charlie: "Distracting tease."

Vaggie: "Speaking of distracting, think the whole room's looking this way now."

Charlie: "Can't blame them. You're lovely, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Charmer."

Charlie: "Beautiful~"

Random Sinner: (charges over) "Murdering EXORCIST! You-"

(FwooOOM HELLFIRE)

Demon Charlie: (SNARLS)

Random Sinner: "...."

Random Sinner: "..... your wings are.. very pretty."

Vaggie: "Thanks."

Demon Charlie: "ANY oThER WORDS?"

Random Sinner: "C-congratulations on the girlfriend, your highness!"

Charlie: (beaming) (sparkling) "Thank you!!"

Random Sinner: (slightly charred) (eases back into the crowd)

Vaggie: "...."

Charlie: "I know I know..." (huffs) "That was a bit-"

Vaggie: "Hot."

Charlie: "Oh hush." (smirks) (drapes herself over gf's lap again)

-

Alastor: "...Well!"

Angel Dust: "She sure ain't stiff anymore."

Alastor: "Quite so."

Husk: "She's fucking liquefying."

Alastor: "Hrmm..."

Angel Dust: "Liquid like lighter fluid. She ROASTED that guy."

Cherri Bomb: "Are we like, SURE no one slipped anything in her drink..?"

Niffty: "Do you see any DEAD BODIES around Vaggie!?"

Cherri Bomb: "Uh, no?"

Niffty: "Awww. Then no."

Husk: "My grip hasn't gone limp though- Niffty, stop trying to take back the fucking angel knife."

Niffty: "THERE AREN'T ANY CORPSES HERE AT LEAST LET ME HAVE THIS!!!"

Husk: "Fuck no! You'll make corpses!"

Niffty: "I KNOOOOW!!!"

Angel Dust: "Not tonight, Niff."

Niffty: (hanging limply off of knife handle) (sobbing)

Alastor: "Oh dearest don't CRY~" (pats niffty) "Come now- why don't we RELISH how the crowd shies back in FEAR from our DARLING hotel founder!"

Cherri Bomb: "Uhh, they might just be cringing back from all the glittery rainbows..?"

Niffty: (sniffling) "Cr- cringing's good..."

Husk: "She sure as fuck does look full of pride now."

Alastor: "Indeed! MOST satisfactory!"

Cherri Bomb: "Gay pride."

Angel Dust: "In her fucked up battle scarred heavenly wash out murder girlfriend who's giving her big soppy I'm-so-in-love looks."

Alastor: "Ah HA...! Close enough~"

[thevoidstaredback]

Okay, so maybe giving his calling card to a kid was a bad idea. He sees that now. Unfortunately, it's too late to take it back. On the bright side, the kid wasn't going to be able to figure out who he is yet based solely on a summoning circle. In the pitch black void of things, Danny can sense the card and the person who's holding it.

Maybe if he leaves Fawcett fast enough he can keep plausible deniability because there's no way that the tiny homeless kid he just met is Captain Marvel. Nope, no way. Not his circus, not his monkeys. He's leaving now.

"What happened to you?" Deadman had an insufferable grin on his face. Did he have the House drop him in Gotham? Danny wouldn't put it past him.

"Don't wanna talk about it."

"Where ya going?"

"To the basement."

"Why?"

Was the other ghost always this annoying? "Because leaving was a terrible idea. I'm going to go hide in the basement until the day I fully die."

"Aw," Deadman tried to pout, but he failed and started to cackle. "Don't be like that. Did you not enjoy your trip to Gotham?"

Danny was a lot of things. Violent usually didn't make it onto that list. However, he was willing to make an assumption. "So it was your fault."

Another cackle. "Don't be like that! You've never been to Gotham before. You can't tell me you at least didn't have fun."

They were at the basement stairs now. "For your information, I have been to Gotham. I didn't get to do much exploring this time because Batman and his gaggle of sidekicks surrounded me!"

"You've been to Gotham?"

"Not important."

"Oh?" The glee on the full ghost's face made Danny uneasy. "I sense a story behind that."

Oh, no. "No. I'm not telling you." He marched past and down the stairs, not bothering to unlock or open the door.

"Please!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I said 'no'."

"Party pooper." he huffed. "You know I'm just going to keep asking, right?"

A sigh. "I'm not gonna cave. No."

"Ah, but you will!" That was the confidence of a ghost who knew he was right. Danny did not like how that bodes for him. "You, my friend, are a younger sibling. I am also a younger sibling."

Shit. "That....That means nothing. My answer will stay 'no'."

Deadman had the gall to chuckle darkly. "We'll see." Then, he disappeared.

Danny didn't sigh because he doesn't need to breathe. He was not going to tell what happened because what happens in Gotham stays in Gotham. It's a rule of thumb that people don't cross. Besides, Deadman doesn't know that Danny's actually the middle sibling. Dani, introduced to his parents soon after he'd told them he was a Halfa, was the embodiment of younger sibling because he had once been the embodiment of younger sibling.

***

"Please get Deadman to stop!" Danny begged Zatanna three weeks later. Maybe he'd overestimated himself a little bit.

The sorcerer raised an eyebrow as she looked up from the book she'd been reading. Something on runes? "What's he doing this time?"

"He won't stop asking me to tell him about my first trip to Gotham."

"You've been to Gotham?"

Danny groaned into the throw pillow he was clutching. "Yes. Please make him stop!"

"Sorry, hun," she focused back on her book, "But I can't see him."

"Oh. I forgot about that."

"Why don't you just tell him?"

Danny shot up, appalled by the very idea. "It's a matter of principle!" he exclaimed, "I am both the older and younger sibling: The middle child. If I give in, I'll have failed! I can't do that. Do you want me to fail?!"

"Okay, okay, geez!" she surrendered, "Don't gotta be so overdramatic about it."

"I'm not being overdramatic! I'm being just dramatic enough!"

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say, kid."

"I'm not a kid!"

"You look like one."

"Yeah, but I'm not! I'm-"

"King of the Infinite Realms," Constantine interrupted, "We know."

"Then don't call me a kid."

"Yeah, yeah, kid,"

"I'm not-!"

"Look, we can have this argument all day and we'll still end in a tie. I've got a case in San Francisco near Titan's Tower. Raven's coming along. Do you want to come with?"

"Don't you normally work solo?" Danny asked. Zatanna still hadn't looked back up from her book and he was pretty sure she'd tuned them out.

"Is that a 'no'?"

"No! No, I'll come with." Maybe having Constantine with him will deter the JL from hounding him. What do they even want with him? If they're upset that he died at fourteen, he's gonna scream.

The Brit smirked. "You sound almost desperate to get out."

"Shut up and let's go."

"Alright, alright."

Part 3 Part 5

Tag List: @zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders

[shinjisdone]

When You Have An Secret Admirer - And Doubt Them

A love letter was left at your door and now you are searching for that ‘secret admirer’ - but you doubt it's true. Perhaps you don't believe it yourself or are trying to push the obvious infatution under the rug...whatever your reason may be, your dear classmates do not believe you.

Been feeling sick so here's a spin-off of the spin-off of your classmates replies when you say:

"I don't think anyone would like me like that..."

Raising his brow, he scoffed. "Ya don't get it. Listen, the only reason someone would go out of this daaaarn big way is either 'cuz they're a total idiot dork or have a massive big crush on you. And lucky you! For you both option are the case!" Sweat rolled down his jaw as he winked. -Ace

"Uhm," His mouth became dry and his eyes avoided yours. "I-I don't think - I mean, w-why wouldn't they? Like, the roses and chocalates...the notes and...mirror, I guess...that's all romantic. Y-You're a great person and...I'm sure that admirer thinks so, too." He wishes to say more but his tongue was tied. -Deuce

"Whuat? Of course they do! Have you seen the talks and Hearts on MagiCam? Some totally envy you!" His hand lowers to his pocket but decided against fishing out his phone. Instead, he threw his arm around your shoulder. "C'mon, juniour! Have a bit more confidence in yourself! Y'know, if it wasn't for your admirer, I would have long sent you these lovey-dovey stuff. Maybe in a different way though, haha!" -Cater

A sheepish chuckle escaped him. "Oh, come on. Don't be like that. It's clear as that day that someone fancies you and there's nothing wrong with that. You get your senior's allowance to indulge in the attention!" Laughing, he hoped he could ease the tension through his lies. -Trey

He cleared his throat. Something like this wasn't his forte. "I...am not an expert in...love and courting - Well, what I mean is that anyone can see that you are very much admired by someone. You are...a very great person so of course you'd be liked. When someone goes out of their way to break several rules like that, their affection must be greater than the Queen's for her little King." -Riddle

Clicking his tongue, he rolled over to his side. "Why are you making a fuss about that? You're gonna break your little head over this, herbivore. Why don't you stop this belittling and confront that little admirer yourself and find out? If you have the guts to go into the lion's den, then you can go and ask a coward that, too." -Leona

"Huh," For a moment, he avoided your gaze and the corner of his lips twitched. "Well, I dunno. Why shouldn't anyone? If no one liked yer guts, then they would have looooong ripped you off or something - good thing I was there all the time but nothin' happened even when I wasn't there - what I mean is, no, you are likable, dummy. Shihishi..." He cackled nervously. -Ruggie

"I wouldn't know anything about that." Quickly clearing his throat, he tried to hide his flushed face, "As in...I don't know if I would agree with you. Someone wouldn't just do this for fun...I don't know anyone, in and outside of NRC, who would do this for fun, so..." He scratched his neck and hoped you'd catch his intentions. -Jack

"Wha," Sheepish laughter rang, "Oh, why...of course you'd be! Why wouldn't you be...why wouldn't they..." His hands reached for the papers on his desk as he failed to sort them, "If there are any doubts...Monstro Longue can also provide solutions for that. But only for doubts...after all, you are l-likable..." -Azul

"Nonsense. I think you are quite charming. Or, could it be that you are playing the humble one? Trying to fool the rest while you are indulging in all the love your admirer provides?" A smarmy giggle. "I jest. But even so, that would make you even cuter." -Jade

Cackling rung. "Huuuh? Actually, yeah, you're right!" He giggled and squeezed in closer into your personal space. "You are such a lost cause, Shrimpy...ya should stick with peeps like me and Jade! Rather just with me, yeah? That admirer-schmirer has been gettin' on my nerves recently and I barely got any time to squeeze you...give up on this landpeople mambo-jambo and stick with me~. -Floyd

At first he blinked in confusion yet his shining grin came a second after. "No way. You're so great! And so interesting and fun and cute!" He almost seemed like his usual self until he noticed who you two were talking about. At that, his grin vanished. "Oh...well, if I can see that, then the admirer totally too! Maybe even more than me since they shower you in so many gifts..." -Kalim

"Well, obviously not since you got a good old secret admirer like from a rom-com." His smile crooked, he hoped you'd at least chuckle but he quickly corrected himself. Best if he doesn't continue to be this nonchalant. "I'm just kidding...though not about you likable. Give yourself more credit...you deserve it." -Jamil

"Huh? What's with that...self-pityin' party - I mean, as in, that ain't true. Yer a...fine and dandy person, I mean - why wouldn'tcha be??? That kinda talk is only gonna bring you down and yer better than that. Far, far, better. Hell, you got a flyin' mirror-" -Epel

Laughter echoed and you weren't sure if it was mocking at first. "Cher Trickster, could it be that these grande professions of love are not enough?! How can you still not see that you are the apple of someone's eye? Not even I could top that! Tell me, my dear, shall I be your second admirer to prove to you how lovely you are?" -Rook

He raised a brow. "Bring me my phone for a second. Should we go over the amount of attention I get from millions of people and compare them to the over-the-top admiration of your one and only admirer? They went out of the way to insult me to compliment you. You are someone's diamond, potato." -Vil

For a moment you wondered if he even heard you. Staying still as a candle, he tried his best to avoid your gaze while his face was flushed red. "...W-W-W-W-Wha-What do you ask m-me that...??? I-I mean, if there is someone unlikable here it would be m-me...y-y'know...?" He hoped you get what he means. -Idia

"According to data I collected requested by big bro - I mean, happened to collect, there is a 0000000.01% chance that you are unbelievable, unequally unlikable." -Ortho

"You think so?" He scratched his chin, "That kind of mindset is not going to get you far. In fact, I believe you do not understand how much comfort you bring by your mere presence. If you doubt it, I can always remind you of it." -Malleus

Laughing, he slapped his knee. "Seriously? You get the exact cookie-cutter version of a highschool secret admirer sweetheart! I read those in old-school manga! And you still doubt that?" He sighs, "Trust me, be a bit more confident. Amazing things can happen if you let them." -Lilia

"Hm? But...you are being admired. By afar, by someone who truly seems to treasure you. You are like a treasure if you see it that way...ah, nevermind me. Please, believe in yourself more. I do." -Silver

"Ugh, really now?! IF I can see it, then you should see it too! It's like you are covering your own eyes! You! Are! An! Object! Of! Affectioooooonnnn!!!" -Sebek

holy shit im never doing something like this in one post again hhuuuuuaaaaaaahh

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: The Great Games

JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i'm VERY concerned about the olympicssss Clive Barker: oh you found a new interest? that's nice Stephen King: i didn't know you followed the olympics! Rowling: I do now that TRANSS WOMEN ARE INVOLVED Barker: so you didn't find a new interest King: i don't think any trans women are involved in the olympics actually joanne Rowling: then I'll just have to make sssome up! Barker: does everything have to be about the trans women Rowling: YESS Rowling: YESS IT DOESSS Rowling: i'm very concerned about thisss boxing match Rowling: SUPPOSEDLY two women were boxing Rowling: but the winner? obviously secretly a man Barker: how do you figure? Rowling: DUH, cuz she won Rowling: clearly the winner in thiss boxing match can't be a BIOLOGICAL woman Rowling: look at the factsss Rowling: a woman is weak, pathetic, feeble-minded Rowling: in all waysss, inferior to a man Rowling: there'sss no way a woman could win Rowling: sssee, a woman isn't defined by her genitalsss or her chromosssomesss Rowling: but rather by the inescapable ssstench of failure Rowling: thiss iss feminissm, by the way Mary Shelley: sup fuckers? Rowling: i was explaining how women are weak and pathetic Shelley: couldn't be me Rowling: well you just don't underssstand feminissm Shelley: yeah i fuckin do Rowling: wow, mary, you ssay that with ssuch Rowling: ssusspicioussly unladylike confidence  Rowling: hand me my sspeculum, i need to check ssomething Shelley: [flipping switchblade] back the fuck up Rowling: you all defy me? yet i am the only one who can define what a woman isss Patricia Highsmith: i can Highsmith: see, ya take a pinch of wiggles, a smidge of jiggles, and a dusting of giggles Highsmith: set the oven to HOT Highsmith: and you got yourself a real hotsy totsy Highsmith: Out she comes piping hot, a real boom boom McWow Wow! Highsmith: there ain't nothin' like a dame! Edward Lee: you said it bro! Rowling: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND Rowling: some of these so-called lady athletes? Rowling: not very traditionally feminine! Barker: damn what a shocker Rowling: i'm not done Rowling: and ssome of them Rowling: i know we're all thinking it, i'm just gonna come out and ssay it Rowling: ssome of them Rowling: rather sswarthy King: i was definitely not thinking that Lovecraft: i was thinking that Lovecraft: i don't get this whole trans thing Lovecraft: honestly, i usually think you're talking about transnistrians Lovecraft: which i believe are a kind of slav Lovecraft: but this racism thing? i could be on board with that Rowling: Finally! Ssomeone who talkss ssensse!

[alatismeni-theitsa]

In "KAOS" nothing is anything, and everything is wrong

Two disclaimers: I am no stranger to modern art, and I have no issue with queerness in shows, or in my own mythology (I'm Greek). I am also aware that KAOS is a comedy. It's in the gutter of British comedy, but still part of the genre. At least I laughed every time they said "Oh God!". I don't believe this is the same person who wrote the great and amusing "End of the F**king World"! The premise of "The gods in our modern world" appeals to me a lot, so that wasn't my problem either. My general issue with KAOS is its horrible delivery, bad writing, and piss-poor Greek representation.

This is gonna be long and full of stupid gifs, so sit comfortably, grab a coffee or some popcorn and... pame!

The "ILoveGreekMythology" Kid

Art without context is just a pretty thing to look at. Most of the time, this context can be found within the art piece itself, as the artist has taken care to weave it in. KAOS refuses to connect itself to any context besides the names and a few vague powers. It aims to exist outside of those "boring old stories of the Greek myth" and be entirely "fresh and modern". Something impossible when the entire show and the meanings are based on ancient recorded material. In other words, KAOS is so meta that it ends up being nothing. KAOS cannot stand on its own because you need more than the viewers being familiar with the Greek myth basics to pull such a show off.

KAOS tells us "See? I know all the names of the gods, and what they did, and I know all the locations, so I am qualified to tackle this". More or less like any Western kid who takes all their knowledge from PJO and Marvel and proceeds to unironically hate ancient deities and make a girlboss out of Medusa.

Here's a Greek word for you guys, ημιμάθεια, meaning "half-knowledge". Α Greek saying very well declares "Half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge". The confidence of thinking you know enough often leads you to grave mistakes whereas the humility of not knowing prevents you from touching shit that you shouldn't. When you have no idea what the original myth is trying to say and spit on its meaning, knowing a few names and locations is just smoke and mirrors. I don't believe the audience fell for that.

And don't get me started on the "subversions". A good subversion is intriguing and thought-provoking. In KAOS, every twist was hollow - Greek myth related or otherwise.

"What if Euridice doesn't love Orpheus?" I don't know, babe. What if??? What was the point of that? What did you show us? That women's stories are dominated by men and men don't listen to women, perhaps? And you chose to twist... the love story of Orpheus and Euridice to show this?? One of the best and most tragic love stories Greek mythology has to offer?? You just mocked the myth, you didn't make anything profound out of it.

The Greek Stuff (Nothing salvageable)

I was surprised to see they had a Consulting Producer (Georgia Christou) and an Assistant Script Editor (Isabella Yianni) who happen to be Greek. And I stress that because those people probably weren't hired or utilized for being Greek. We are not sure they were involved in cultural decisions because we have no evidence and because shows with no Greek elements can have more Greeks than that on their staff.

Okay, perhaps they took 5 seconds to ask Isabella about a greeting - which they proceeded to say in a wrong intonation 🙄🤌It's where Poseidon says "ya sás" in the Fates, by the way. How he said it sounds more like "for you (pl.)" than "health to you (pl.)".

Surprise! The only Greek actor present (Peter Polycarpou) has less than 5 minutes of screen time and plays the caricature of an immigrant with a thick (and inaccurate Greek) accent. He has a canteen, selling falafel which is not Greek, and Dionysus buys from him an unidentified tortilla wrap (which... is also not Greek, if you haven't caught up).

For the show they brought in actors of Maori, Nigerian and Sierra Leonean, Pakistani, Black American, Latvian-Jewish, Iranian, Egyptian, Indo-Fijian and Malay descent and you tell me it was impossible for them to seek and find an English-speaking, skilled actor of Greek descent in a show regarding Greek heritage. Sometimes I wonder, do y'all hate us so much?

They considered Greeks only to give us a simple (and wrong) greeting and a stereotype. Crumbs, we are supposed to be happy with. By the way, there are over 70.000 Greek immigrants just in the UK, usually in the urban centers, many of them students or fairly young employees in the corporate workforce. Not the largest minority but not hard to spot either.

Another plague of Anglophone shows: Almost everyone's Greek name is shortened. Yes, we know their full names but we are told that we will use the short ones. Greeks and their "long and difficult" names am I right fellas? Because saying "Ariadne" apparently requires 5 years of Greek language training, and no English word ever has more than two syllables.

Coincidentally, short names are cool in Anglophone imaginary universes and the "long" names are not. it's so strange Anglophones never make universes where it's cool for Greek names to be spoken in full hmmm... They don't even want to practice saying a whole Greek name for just 2 minutes in preparation for a show full of Greek names. And don't give me that "Greek is hard" shit when we only talk about a few syllables. If Greek kids can learn English since first grade and people here can sing English songs and spell English names, you have no excuse.

They also said the name "Fotis" means light, which is close enough but... ugh.. It's like saying Sebastian means "respect". I am not sure if they asked anyone or what their research was here. If I had the writers in front of me, I'd be like:

(This character from an all-time favorite Greek show is called Fotis)

They also made the flag of "Krete" an alteration of the Greek flag and the local Cretan flag. Which is the stupidest move, because they had to remove the religious symbol of the cross to make the flag fit the universe. These are flags created based on 1) Christianity 2) the Greek Revolution of 1821.

National Greek flag to the left, local Cretan flag to the right:

Flag of the KAOS' "Krete":

The only time they seriously took into account anything Greek, was the time when they decided to remove the religious symbol of our ethnoreligion AND (from what I could observe) keep the nine stripes?? The nine stripes of our national flag represent the syllables in "Freedom or Death". The colors are from the white foustanela of the mainland attire and the dark blue vraka of the island attire, the clothing of the Revolution fighters. (That's more of a meta explanation but the characteristics of the flag were decided during and nearly after the Revolution.)

I think I don't have to explain it more but it's not a homage to put the nine stripes in an ancient era where they have no meaning, and to replace a cross??? Let's... not replace religious symbols on national flags, okay? Thank you.

Another cultural element they changed was making everyone have a dedicated coin to pay Charon. Orpheus has Euridice's coin, "her coin", and he's meant to put it on her before she got buried. In Greek culture, any coin would do. Sorry that our culture restricts your script, dear writers. I guess you had to bend this too, in order to create a cohesive plot with a semblance of a twist.

Finally, the many "Kerberus" dogs were cute and I can understand the creative decision behind that. However, in a show full of inaccuracies, this made me roll my eyes a little. I think the showrunners know that Kerveros is not a breed of dog, and there can only be one of him because he doesn't have any other "Kerveros" to breed with. On the other hand, as demonstrated from art/writing on the internet, quite a lot of Westerners are not exactly aware of how our monsters work, so forgive my uncertainty 😅

Nothing is Anything

Every element KAOS played with ended up meaningless. In the words of a Lifo article:

“Zeus is a paranoid authoritarian dictator in mid-life crisis who fears losing his power and murders his aides to vent. Hera is a promiscuous goddess who repeatedly betrays Zeus and has mutilated mute priestesses for protection. Dionysos is a spoiled and immature zoomer who, apart from pranks, indulges in orgies with all genders. Poseidon a sadistic god of the sea, who tortures the crew on his ship for fun. Prometheus is gay and killed his lover so he could overthrow Zeus. Orpheus is a famous pop singer and Eurydice does not love him. Theseus is black and gay. The Erinyes are tough-as-nails mechs that look like they stepped out of ‘Sons of Anarchy’. The Fates resemble a three-member jury in a talent show. The Trojans are a terrorist group that acts against the gods. Crete is more reminiscent of California than the Mediterranean.”

The "River Styx" is a sea, the "River Lethe" is a lake, the gods are nothing more than spoiled humans, the Moirai are drag queens, the Cave is a club where you have to take a quiz to enter the underworld, and generally everything is modern, flat, mundane and anticlimactic. The producers aimed to achieve a work so meta that a "river" is now a concept, a metaphor, whatever you have in your heart. And those who want to see a river when we speak of a river are probably uncultured swines and don't understand postmodernism. Never mind that rivers are rivers in Greek mythology for a reason. That's not culturally interesting enough to explore compared to the new, cool approach of not assigning meaning to anything. That totally shows love for the original rich and meaningful material...

And the reason behind all this subversion? Probably the shock factor. They brought the characters to a point where they said "We have to save the world from Zeus" - Zeus! The father of gods, heroes and humans! - just because they could. It gives off a certain type of smugness that I personally don't like. I mean, I would like the smugness and cheekiness of KAOS if it wasn't a vapid and practically meaningless show. As nothing symbolizes anything anymore, we are just led from hollow plot point to hollow plot point.

If you cut it out of any cultural influence and see it as a story then it's... okay, I guess. But when you consider that it's meant to derive from certain material and it fails spectacularly, it's not a good story. It forgets its bases and doesn't play with the ancient elements at all. Disney's Hercules did it better, FFS!

Bad Writing (pt.1)

KAOS is not without recognizable themes but their demonstration is so juvenile and heavy-handed that it fails to influence a viewer of average intelligence. For instance, "Riddy" says to her religious mother "You dedicated your whole life to Hera, what about me?" Okay, KAOS, we get it. At the same time, this theme nulls itself because it turns out that Ridy's mother was right to do what she did, as she had a greater goal in mind. (And this, kiddos, is called Bad Writing, because your themes and scenes contradict each other)

The biggest theme I spotted was a criticism of religion and religious people who say "Do as I say, not as I do" and create exceptions for themselves. Only, it's not a criticism of anything real, in this case. It's a fact that some people in the clergy tend to preach peace and love and then they do harm, but we don't know, for example, that The Goddess of Marriage is a cheater and yet she pressures everyone into strict marriages. By focusing their wrath on divine beings who are not known for their hypocrisy, the creators missed the mark.

I can give KAOS props for how it handled Trojans to reflect real issues regarding how immigrants and war refugees are mistreated and blamed. I'd argue it was the only (nearly) well-done theme in the whole show because it had the least on-the-nose delivery and some genuine/serious scenes. But that's it.

More Bad Writing!

Jeff Goldblum's Zeus is shit. He'd crap his pants in an argument with a stern Greek dad/uncle his age. Is this character supposed to be intimidating? (Laughs in Mediterranean) That's not to say that Goldblum is not a good actor, but this role wasn't for him. The same can be said for the other actors, too. They are competent but they only give off the air of "The Greek gods if they lived in London, from the minds of people who think beards and body hair are an affliction". In addition to being misplaced, the actors cannot show their talent when following a script that resembles a children's book.

Why does THE GOD Dionysus have the maturity of a 15-year-old? I repeat, The God Dionysus. He's a freaking deity, and a very old one at that. He is not a teenager neither in appearance nor in experience. In our culture, he is mystical, mighty, wise. Why did they downgrade him so? Just for the plot? This is not Dionysus just because you named him so.

The dialogue rarely takes itself seriously to the point it has you wondering at times "Do people talk and behave like that?". In a comedy where everything is meant to be already extreme and parodied. Even in comedies, something must occasionally be serious so there is a healthy fluctuation in tone and the funny moments can hit you. In KAOS very few scenes treated their impactful dialogue as it should be treated.

The queerness and diversity (good elements, in general) were worse off for being in KAOS. Like, I want these elements to be there. I'm just sad about the whole situation. It's not enough that the show is shit, now you also give an additional reason for conservatives to shit on diverse and queer characters because they are part of a stupid narrative.

I'm the type of person who doesn't mind the queerness of Astyanax and Theseus being lovers in the context of this specific show but they're still the oddest pairing to me because they're from the most irrelevant myths and eras. Also, Astyanax in my mind is a baby who died tragically, for little reason if we are honest, so to bring him back and make him a love interest is... ekh.

In addition, isn't Astyanax supposed to be crippled after a fall from the city walls when he was a baby? Sorry to change subjects but the show is so convoluted and with so many issues that it's extremely difficult to stay on track with what's wrong.

To the person who thought this show was a good idea:

Whatever. Bye. I'm fucking done.

[mysticheathenn]

What Harsh Truths Do You Need To Hear Right Now?

Hi there! I hope you all enjoy it and remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to go and seek actual therapy or professional help.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

Pile 1: Deep Inward Journey. You'll be rewarded for the work.

Your Question: How can you alchemize your fear?

Moonology: Embrace the Flow of Life

You're scared to do the thing. Whatever that thing may be for you whether it's writing a book, starting a YouTube channel, becoming an influencer, quitting your job whatever it is for you, you're scared to do it. You have so many ideas going on in your head but you fear on acting on them. Not just fear of acting on them but you lack confidence because you're afraid of being seen (moon card, bottom of the deck). You're afraid of other people seeing you look cringe or worse fail. But the truth is you will never succeed if you never try. You say you want to feel happiness, freedom, financial stability, etc but you're afraid to do the thing that will bring you all of the many wants and needs that you crave. Quotes: "On the other side of fear is the life that you want." "You cannot edit a blank page." "Someone out there needs your content. The way that you can show it." "Time will still pass whether you do it now or later." Unsolicited advice: You've got this. Surround yourself with people who will cheer you on. Give yourself 6 months (literally the bare minimum) and try at the thing you've been dying to do. If after 6 months you still don't see any progress. Take a break, change the plans, but not the goal. With the 8 of pentacles and 9 of cups, you are destined for this. but you first have to try in order to reap the rewards you seek. (Cards: 7 of cups, Awakening in reverse, 9 of swords, 8 of pentacles, Queen of cups (reversed), 9 of cups)

Pile 2: You are a Joy Seeker.

Your Question: What little victories can you celebrate?

Moonology: Step Up and Lead

Pile 2 If you were drawn to Pile 1 I feel this may be either a continuation or an extra tidbit that you need to hear. This pile is all about self-doubt and not standing in your power. I'm hearing the song Boss Ass Bitch by Nicki Minaj ft PTAF specifically the first verse of "I'm a boss @ss b!tch, b!tch, b!tch, b!tch, b!tch." and a quote from a popular vine back in the day that said, "Step ya p*ssy game up." You're crying about the things that have gone wrong or didn't work out in your favor. Some of you are even comparing yourselves to others' finished products. Stop it. You've done so much for you to want to throw in the towel all because one of little minor inconvenience or because something didn't show up how you wanted it to go. Or even for some of you what you are doing is taking too long and you want to reap what you already sowed now. "Brush yourself off and try again" - Aaliyah (Try again) Stand up and look around at the accomplishments that you have done so far. How can you bring more appreciation for yourself? Stop being so hard on yourself all the time. You have time. Stop forcing a time frame on yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop having FOMO because of what others are doing when you have no idea what they had to do to get what they have (they could be scamming, manipulating, etc). Unsolicited advice: Every time you do something good I want you to celebrate. Whether it's doing a dance, treating yourself out to eat or something, whatever it is on how you celebrate I want you to treat yourself because you're doing amazing sweetie. Even if it doesn't feel that way you are. Do some affirmations because You're amazing. You're doing great things. Everything is going to work out. (Cards: 3 of swords reversed, 9 of pentacles, king of wands, 4 of cups, knight of wands.)

Pile 3: You Cannot Make A Mistake. There Are Infinite Possibilities Available to You.

Your Question: Where is your heart guiding you?

Moonology: Attune to the Divine

Someone is draining you of your power and you're too afraid of cutting them off because of a long history with this person, because you feel a lot of emotions (love, empathy, etc), or because this person might be family but I'm hearing "All Good Things Come to an End" by Nelly Furtado. This person may be a narcissist, or abusive (whether emotionally, or mentally. Not sensing physically but if they are just know there are people and organizations out there willing to help you get out of this situation.) A lot of sneaky and deceptive energy, I'm also hearing energy vampires. Some of you have way too much empathy to give and that is beautiful but also establish some boundaries. It's okay to say no. It's okay to make sure you fill up your own cup first or in some cases fill up only your cup because you give way too much to people who do not deserve you. Every beginning has its end and it's time for you to end this situation once and for all. No good can come of this situation, it's dead. Done. Fin. Stop watering dead flowers and listen to your intuition that's telling you to leave. Some of you may have low self-esteem and believe that you won't have anyone love you or even feel that no one cares about you. When that's not true, there are plenty of people in this world who would love and care for you the way you give to others but you first need to let go of what is dead and not fulfilling. Love yourself enough to leave or if you can't leave because you live with this person at least establish some either healthy or hard boundaries and stick to them. No unsolicited advice was added like piles 1 & 2 because I feel this whole pile is nothing but me fussing at you to do better and want better for yourself. (Cards: Queen of cups reversed, 7 of swords reversed, The star reversed, 6 of swords, & 10 of swords.)

Pile 4: You Create Your Own Reality! What You Want, Wants You Too!

Your Question: What Do You Want To Experience?

Moonology: Make Time for Self-Love | Bonus: Practice Gratitude

I'm hearing "Hang in there." A lot of you in pile 4 want to experience the can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars over the fence kind of love, and are slowly starting to feel like that love doesn't exist because of the many toads you're having to deal with regularly. I'm here to tell you to not give up because like your "Inner Peace" card says what you want wants you too, I felt it as I was shuffling the emperor kept wanting to come out but not fully coming out of the deck always interrupting me as I shuffle. It's as if the universe (god, divine, Allah, etc) wants you to focus on yourself first and figure out what exactly you want. Be specific but also realistic because not everyone can be tall dark and handsome and built like Terry Crews with Jeff Bezos's bank account. Maybe you have an idea of what you want but it's not exactly what you need in your next relationship because the things you want tend to be unfulfilling or worse toxic. Focus on yourself first and then love will find you when you least expect it. Unsolicited advice: Take up some hobbies, focus on your career, and work on yourself to become the best version you can be to help bring in this person you are wanting. Sometimes we need to work on ourselves because we have something within us that needs to change that would fumble the relationship that we want. (We all have some sort of toxic trait in us no matter how minor it may be) Focus on shadow work is what I'm also hearing. There are some things for some of you that you need to release like abandonment issues, trust issues, etc. Focus on you is the main thing I am getting. This message is for a few of you but the love you want exists you just need to stop settling for the first slumbag that gives you attention. Message for maybe 2-5 of you but stop flirting with people because you're bored. Stop having sex with people when you really crave intimacy. Fire up that dildo and vibrator. You will be alright. "Break up with your girlfriend." - Ariana Grande.

That's it for all of the piles. I hope you all enjoyed this reading and it wasn't too harsh. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Whether it's what you liked, what you want to see more of, etc.

[whoskimii]

Hello how ya doing? I'd like to req smth if you'd please. Could you do a Megumi x reader fic? Where the reader is a new student (maybe joined weeks after Nobara) and they're super shy and they rarely come outta their room except for trainings, missions etc. And it was during one mission with the first years that reader started bonding with them more and so the four of them start to hang out more and reader slowly expands her comfort zone or smth and Megumi always makes sure they're comfy outta the comfort zone. This seems ooc but I hope you get the idea thanks!

thank you for the ask baby! i hope you're gonna like it <33

⋆౨ৎ˚ notes > megumi x you. megumi is just a grumpy sweetheart fr. you're shy ^^ tell me if i missed anything!! ^^ ౨ৎ warning : you may have butterflies in your belly while reading this!! 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

you never considered yourself as someone who was necessarily outgoing. ever since you were a little child, you've always found peace in being alone. not lonely, just alone.

you liked not having to interact with people. let's be real, your social skills weren't that great, but you still managed. it's not like you lived in a cave, anyway.

you were just introverted, like almost half of the world population. it was not that big of a deal.

however, you were really shy. it was something that you couldn't deny. sometimes, you'd look at extroverted people or just people with great communication skills and you'd envy them. before remembering that nothing was wrong with your shy nature.

but when you arrived at a new school as a new student, your shy personality multiplied. you didn't know anyone there.

you felt like you didn't belong here. and especially because there were only a few students, you were being looked at. stared at. watched. people knew each other here, so of course the newest addition was the new interest.

however, the silly white-haired man, who introduced himself as your teacher at your arrival assured you that you'd eventually make friends. hey, his students were kind after all ! they'd take you under their wing at some point. "just wait." he told you.

so in the meantime, you just stuck with him. or he stuck with you actually. gojo found your demeanor endearing. sure, his personality was the total opposite but he'd adapt to you. he didn't want his new student to feel bad in their new environment.

eventually, he learned to calm down and chill when he was around you. his hyperactivity toned down, as surprising as it was.

but you still felt weird. you hung out with your teacher. because you didn't have any friends yet. that was definitely embarrassing for you.

gojo quickly noticed. he wasn't a fool. so he let go a little and left you alone, only checking on you when you were in your dorm.

you should be thankful that he let go a little, because hanging out with your literal teacher can be a little humiliating. however, it was even worse when gojo left you on your own because you didn't have anyone else to hang out with. you were alone again. and you didn't like being alone in front of others. you felt judged.

so you barely left your dorm. you only got out for training sessions and missions. and it was enough for you. you just didn't find anything interesting to do alone, anyway.

however, during a particularly rough mission with the first years, you got closer to megumi, yuuji and nobara. before that mission, you knew the trio and even thought they were intimidating.

yuuji literally cohabited with the king of curses himself, megumi seemed always unfazed by everything and nobara was confident.

but they didn't bite. you noticed it during that mission. a curse almost got you but megumi helped you and yuuji took care of the creature on his own. nobara was still fighting.

so, you eventually became part of their little trio. you were now a quartet. as for your silly teacher, you grew used to his overwhelming personality and even liked it. gojo could be serious when needed.

you began to hang out with them and that's when you finally felt like you belonged to jujutsu high. you even felt home because they were here. you looked up to them and they looked out for you.

you were the most grateful for megumi. despite his reserved nature, he always tried to make you feel safe no matter where you were. when the little group was around big crowds, he'd always wrap his hand around the back of your neck to guide you and not to lose you. and you were the reason for his new little habit. nobara, yuuji and gojo would always look at you two with a little smirk.

"you guys comin' ?" yuuji called, eager to watch the latest movie with jennifer lawrence. "give us a minute." nobara sighed as she rolled her eyes. "go ahead, we'll catch up to you." gojo nodded towards yuuji, hands in his pockets.

yuuji didn't need to be told twice and disappeared into the sea of people. after a minute, you made your way through the crowd with your friends. it was easy to find your way since your teacher was taller than most people.

but your heart skipped a beat as you felt megumi's hand wrap around yours sneakily. his fingers intertwined with yours and he held onto your hand tightly. you looked up at him, expecting him to be already looking at you but he was looking forward. was that a little rosy tint on his cheeks or were you seeing things ? "hold tight." he murmured. your hand instinctively clutched around his.

you weren't going to let go for a second.

[itsabouttimex2]

Hi, I wanted to say that I really liked reading your analyses when it comes to flaws in lmk's writing, along with the ranking of the villains that you did. I hope it's alright to ask for advice, since I'd like to make a romantic self insert story with Macaque, but the thing is that I'm worried on how to portray the platonic relationship between Sun Wukong and Macaque. While we still don't know entirety of how Macaque died in his fight with Wukong, I've already made decision to address both of their faults that caused their relationship's downfall. What I'm worried about is how to portray it clearly that it's both of their faults, without making them too OOC. Some fans have tendency to chose sides with their whole situation, which is something I'd like to avoid. But I'm not sure how to avoid that, which is why I'd like to ask for your advice on it.

Sun Wukong and Macaque

A Rundown on the Fallout

This is an interesting question, and thank you for asking! Given how much of their personal backstory is left to viewer interpretation, I’ve included a little bit of mine.

I think the big, big thing that people miss with the Sundial/Shadowpeach fallout is how severely uneven it is. But give me a minute to get there…

Probably the biggest of Past!Sun Wukong’s biggest issues is what I’m going to call “externalizing”. (This isn’t the appropriate way to use that word, but I’m at a loss here) Wukong is bright and loud and happy- and very, very desperate for attention.

Sun Wukong’s literal first action in the world was to excitedly barrel towards a group of monkeys. His first words end with him asking plainly “Don’t ya like it?!” like a child begging for praise from a parent. He shows off to Subodhi’s other students. He eagerly tells a chaotic story to his sworn brothers and is implied to play it up to some degree for attention.

This is direct opposition to Macaque.

Past!Macaque is quiet, withdrawn. He has no ties to other people. He doesn’t pipe up. He’s not bold or confident. So what does Macaque do?

Well, just about jackshit. There’s only TWO members of the six-strong brotherhood that he actually shares interactions with- Sun Wukong and Peng.

Azure Lion? Yellowtusk? Demon Bull King? Macaque literally doesn’t interact with any of them even once. Nobody calls him brother. Flash to the modern day, and he’s the last person Azure bothers looking for.

He doesn’t joke, or tell stories, or try to bond with the rest of the crew. This is literally how he responds to being called a coward and a rodent by a “brother”.

By mildly frowning.

(Side note: WUKONG IS NOT IN THE WRONG FOR NOT DEFENDING MACAQUE FROM PENG. Macaque never went above a mild frown and never acted hurt or upset beyond this little facial expression. If he was sad ((WHICH HE WASN’T)) or seethingly angry ((WHICH HE WASN’T)) then it’s on Macaque and Macaque alone for not defending himself. Wukong is not his brother’s keeper, etc.)

(Macaque, even in the past, was a lot stronger than he’s often given credit for. Did this remark make him unhappy? Yes. Did it break or ruin him? No.)

He has no friends or ties to the past. No mentor and no fellows and no troop. No one likes him. No one wants him. No once cares about him… except for the Monkey King.

All he has is Sun Wukong.

So already they’re on this MASSIVELY unbalance scale where Wukong has a title and a troop and a heaping handful of immortalities and a band of brothers and a sacred weapon and a mountain and and and!!!

And… Macaque has… his shadow powers?

Yeah, they’re not on level footing. Wukong could pull out of the brotherhood and away from Macaque and throw down his staff and still have so, so much!

And Macaque, if he left Wukong, would have next to nothing.

Sun Wukong is his one good thing. His one star in a dark sky. Sun Wukong is all that Macaque has.

Already is this an EXTREMELY unhealthy dynamic, where you’re basically living for a second person without them putting that devotion back towards you-

Which is exactly what causes the downfall of this relationship.

Macaque doesn’t speak up for or against anything. He’s just willing to sit pretty and play along… because it’s for his one good thing.

Because it’s for Wukong.

Even if his brothers don’t like him, or he gets mocked, or he doesn’t want to play along, Macaque grits his teeth and stays- because it’s for Wukong.

Because he can’t lose his one good thing.

So he’ll do anything.

And that’s the problem.

The Monkey King isn’t asking him to shut up and play nice. Nor does he ask for blind loyalty. And he doesn’t ask his friend not to voice his concerns and fears.

Macaque is choosing to do these things.

Because he can’t lose his one good thing.

Macaque is choosing to “internalize” (again, this isn’t the appropriate way to use that word, but I’ve set a precedent here) his thoughts and feelings.

Macaque pulls everything inside, and Sun Wukong pushes it all out.

The First Crack: Uneven Expectations

Macaque is not honest with his thoughts and feelings. He never actually expresses the way he feels to Wukong, which leads to the Monkey King never understanding his feelings. But you know what Macaque DOES do?

He gently and softly nudges the idea of maybe kinda I dunno potentially not taking over the entire Celestial Realm???

But he doesn’t say no.

Macaque never expresses himself or genuinely tries to talk Wukong out of overthrowing the Jade Emperor. He just hints at the idea and EXPECTS Wukong to pick up on his thoughts and wants without any real effort on his own part. He puts ALL of the onus onto Wukong to understand and reach out to him, without putting that amount of time and effort in himself.

Macaque wants to be understood without putting on the effort to be understandable, which isn’t fair to Wukong at all.

The Second Crack: Unfairly Divided Consequences

Wukong is solely punished for the crimes of six men, and left to rot while his sworn brothers run free.

(Quotes pulled from prior analysis)

Sun Wukong is trapped. For attempting to overthrow the Jade Emperor, he is sentenced to FIVE HUNDRED YEARS trapped under a mountain.

Let me elaborate for anyone who doesn't sympathize.

For the next five hundred years, Sun Wukong will be 75% immobile and alone under a nearly lightless mountain. There will be no noise, no stimulation, and no company. He will suffer in silence, and he will suffer alone.

But you know who ISN'T being punished for an attempt to overthrow the Jade Emperor?

Macaque.

Now, this is funny. Wukong leads a six strong band of brothers against the forces of the Celestial Realm, but only ONE of them faces consequences for the rebellion- himself.

Even five hundred years later when Wukong is set free and traveling with his fellow pilgrims...

No one else has faced consequences for the rebellion. All five of Wukong's "brothers" (Azure Lion, Peng, Demon Bull King, Yellowtusk, and yes, Macaque) get away scot-free to continue their plans and schemes.

I would be pissed. You would be pissed. There is not ONE SINGLE PERSON in this world that would NOT be pissed about how blatantly unfair this is.

(End Quote)

This is especially important if you read Azure Lion’s about Wukong “surrendering” as the truth (he is an unreliable narrator), then it’s likely his brothers were spared as a result of his surrender. And still, he’s all alone in this cavern, bored and uncomfortable and angry.

And probably very sad and lonely, too.

The Third Crack: Peach Symbolism

When Wukong wants to cheer Macaque up, what does he do?

Engage in snacking and physical affection that leaves the two snuggled up side by side on a sunny beach.

Seems like the Monkey King has a pretty good read on his best bud!

Now, how does Macaque repay the favor?

After an unknown period of time spent in the extensively explained condition above leaves Wukong angry and frustrated, Macaque comes by to-

Jam a peach into Wukong’s face and act like nothing is wrong at all.

Sun Wukong doesn’t want to pretend that nothing is wrong. He doesn’t want to act like everything is okay. He wants to be free.

But Macaque has put on an act this entire time. He’s played along and kept quiet and complacent and been “good”, and even now is he acting.

So he presents, of all fucking thing, a peach.

Sun Wukong likes peaches, yes. They’re likely a comfort food from a time long past, a constant in his long, long life.

(I bet that on Flower Fruit Mountain there’s a special strain untainted by the push of genetically-modified fruit that’s grown to be chock-full of sugar. I bet it’s his absolute favorite thing in the world to eat. I bet he shared it with the Pilgrims. I bet he wishes he could share it with them again. I bet.)

They’re a symbol of massive freedom- freedom from strife and pain and death.

And having that symbol presented to him so plainly and pretend-happily?

It’s just the final nail in his diminishing coffin of self-control.

The Fourth Crack: Wukong Lashes Out

So, as was unavoidable from the start of his imprisonment- Wukong snaps and rejects the peach, mocking Macaque for trying to cheer him up from a five-hundred year sentence with fruit and a false smile.

But he doesn’t stop there-

The Monkey King continues to castigate his best friend, blaming him for things that are the shoulderweights of six men.

Except he’s not really lashing out at Macaque directly- he’s just lashing out, and Macaque happens to be the nearest target.

There was bound to be a breakdown eventually. No matter how you look at this scenario, anyone would snap. There’s literally not even one person who wouldn’t break down eventually.

And then, Macaque lashes right back, and says something very interesting-

The Fifth Crack: Macaque Lies and Run Away

(Censored quotes taken from same analysis)

No, he didn't.

Macaque nudges the idea. He implies the idea. He hints it, quietly and softly.

"You're really going through with this?" Is not him shutting down the idea of fighting the Celestial Realm.

It's him being a coward and trying to dance around the issue without a direct confrontation.

Not even once does Macaque say: “We shouldn't fight the Jade Emperor."

He directly LIES to present himself as being the better person during this fight.

Macaque is lying to his best friend’s face to make himself look better in this utterly pointless argument, then prepares to run away and never comes back- but not before placing literally all of the blame for EVERYTHING onto Wukong’s shoulders.

(End quote)

Final Crack: YOU are responsible for MY behavior!

Finally, Macaque makes a few last “Nothing is ever MY fault!” statements to Wukong, consisting of:

“You dragged everyone else into this!”

“You put yourself here, not me!”

Which are BOTH blatantly untrue, given that

1. The Azure Lion is actually the one who started the Brotherhood in the first place

2. Macaque is a grown man who makes his own decisions

3. The rest of the Brotherhood are grown men who make their own decisions

4. Macaque went along with the plan willingly

5. The rest of the Brotherhood went along with the plan willingly

6. Everyone took part in the attempted rebellion of their own will and volition

Everyone is responsible for the end result, including Macaque who was there literally every step of the way, but he doesn’t want to accept that!

Macaque wants to be a perfect little victim who can wipe his hands of the matter, and who better to blame…

Then his “one good thing”, who is now utterly helpless and incapable of doing anything about it?

Macaque only finally lashes out and speaks up when there is literally no way to face recourse for it- which is proof of the cowardice lurking inside him.

There’s a big reason that Wukong calling him out for “running away” hits so hard and is what finally prompts Macaque into speaking up and tries to absolve himself of all blame.

Because Macaque knows that Wukong is right.

The first thing that Macaque does when things go wrong is to prioritize himself and run away. (Just remember how he responded to unleashing the Samadhi Fire.) Then, when all is said and past and it’s time to tell the tale, Macaque will whitewash himself- which he does blatantly in “Shadowplay”.

So when his gilded “one good thing” finally cracks the image Macaque built up by being a fallible person who stumbles and slips up and makes very human mistakes?

He abandons ship, and allows his flaws to start sliding out- now Macaque is “externalizing”, which he’ll continue to do to the present day- taking everything inside and putting it out- by projecting and slandering and lying and trying to hurt innocent people.

Essentially, Macaque puts his best friend on a pedestal and of his own will and volition plays the role of “lackey” for nothing in return without being asked, then ditches him over a fight and returns to a much unhealthier group of “friends”, while Sun Wukong is left to serve a lonely sentence as punishment. But because the Monkey King receives punishment and does his time, Wukong is allowed a chance at redemption under the loving and caring eye of his Master, Tang Sanzang, and manages to redeem himself, where his guilty brothers going free leads them to continually rack up crimes that leaves them on the receiving end of the pilgrims wrath.

Okay I’m tired now love you guys ❤️❤️

[schlattsdoll]

Imagine going to the streamer awards with Schlatt (you’re not a streamer) and if he wins something then once you all get home he makes you cum as many times as he can as a celebration type thing

celebrate- jschlatt

minors dni

paring: schlatt x fem/afab! reader

warnings: smut {18+}, mentions of overstim, schlatt being a horny mf, overuse of pet names {im sorry}

to be quite honest with you, schlatt didn’t even want to go to the streamies. it wasn’t his scene and he was confident in the fact he wasn’t going to win. what sold him on it was seeing you in a tight dress. he took you shopping that morning, you two decided on wearing purple, the color of royalty as you told him. “makes sense, got my beautiful princess so that makes me a king.”

it was almost time to leave as you were putting the finishing touches on your makeup. “doll, we gotta go.” schlatt held your hand as you slid on your heels and even fixed the buckles for you. the tight sequined dress hugged your curves perfectly, the purple complementing your complexion.

“absolutely stunning.” your boyfriend commented with a wolf whistle. “whaddya say we skip this thing? i could do that thing ya like with my tongue.” he smirked and kissed up your neck. “jay, no. this is a big night for you! we have to go, that’s that.” you pushed the larger man away from you and frantically tried to fix your hair.

the car ride to the venue was so exciting for you. having only been with schlatt a few months, you hadn’t been to a streamers event before. “this is gonna be so fun jay! we’re gonna take pictures and you’re nominated! i think you’re gonna win personally.”

he rolled his eyes at the thought of him winning. “‘m glad you’re excited toots. at least one of us is.” you knew he wasn’t the biggest fan of going out, much rather wanting to spend the night back home in austin with you and jambo instead of being in smoggy old la. “c’mon baby, you’ll have fun trust me.” “i think having you bent over the bed would be more fun but okay.” he muttered under his breath.

you were right of course, sitting at the table with his fellow nominees ted and charlie, he started to loosen up a bit. drinks were flowing, laughs were being had, and schlatt started to ease up. “the nominees for best new podcast are…” ethan nestor started reading out their category. “oooh baby listen up!”

schlatt felt his nerves jump back up, he didn’t care about winning honestly. you were just so excited for him and the guys, he didn’t want to disappoint you.

“and the winners of best new podcast are….” you held schlatts hand tightly with one hand while you bit your nails on the other. “chuckle sandwich!” a camera panned over to your table and the guys all got up to go on stage, right after kissing their dates.

“thank you all so much for this amazing award, i think i speak for all of us when i say we definitely didn’t expect to be nominated let alone win. thank you to the fans for tuning in every week and we hope you keep listening!” ted spoke eloquently, a perfect acceptance speech; short and sweet.

once back at the table, his hand made its way to your thigh. “hey doll, don’tcha think i deserve a winner’s reward when we get back to the hotel?” he whispered in your ear then kissed your neck. his hand rubbed your thigh, inching closer and closer to your core. you squeezed them closer together, attempting to block his hand from his target.

the rest of the event was quite draining. all you could focus on was what schlatt was going to do to you later that evening. finally you got to leave and instead of going to the after party, you faked being sick. “sorry guys, im not feeling so hot. i better sit this one out. jay, you don’t mind not going do you? i feel so bad.” you pleaded with the large man, who knew you were faking it. “yeah guys, let’s do a rain check for next chuckle week. gotta make sure my baby’s feelin’ alright.” schlatt wrapped his jacket around you, and walked you towards his car. “congratulations again guys!”

the drive home was an entirely different vibe, schlatts hand was ghosting against your center, teasing you through your underwear. “couldn’t even wait for me to celebrate with my friends? needed me that badly huh doll?” he smirked at you while his fingers grabbed a hold of your panties and pulled them to the side. “s’fuckin’ wet for me…”

his large digits found their way to your clit, rubbing soft slow circles. “that’s it. atta girl. you looked so pretty tonight sweetheart. wanted to take you into a bathroom and fuck the shit outta ya.” your back arched into the seat at his words. “oh you like that idea don’t you princess? me taking care of this sweet cunt wherever i want it, not caring who sees me with what’s mine.”

his fingers speed up, causing you to grip tighter on the center console, “fuck jay, don’t stop. ‘m gonna cum.” “that’s right, cum for daddy.”

the car stopped moving, pulling into the hotel’s lot where schlatt waited until your orgasm subsided to help you out and into the room. once there, he tossed you onto the bed. “i believe i was promised the thing i like?” you smirked up at him.

dropping down to his knees and taking the headband out of his hair, he pulled you closer to the edge. “i’m a man of my word doll. but i’m gonna make you cum so many times you’re gonna cry.”

and once again, schlatt was a man of his word.

[itneverendshere]

I've had thots about Toppers girlfriend with Rafe and his wandering hands and yall are so turned on you both can't stop touching one another you're practically dry humping in front of everyone (ya know the whole hiding in plain sight)

i did something bad - r.c (18+)

warnings: rafe cameron x kook!reader; cheating; boyfriend!topper (not really lmao poor thing); public sex?; dry humping; mentions of alcohol and drugs; possessive!rafe; almost having sex in the middle of a party I guess;

You don’t even know how the hell this happened.

How you ended up right here, right now, with him. You don’t know where to put your hands, your eyes, or your thoughts. You’re lost. Completely speechless.

Yet somehow, there's nowhere you’d rather be than sitting here, pressed against Rafe Cameron's thighs. And yeah, you're dating his best friend. And yeah, as if you’re not in the middle of a roaring party, filled to the brim, at Topper’s house.

He brushes his thumb over your hip, cautious, like he’s testing the waters. “You good?”

All you can manage is a weak, “Yeah.”

“Look at me.”

Oh god.

Of course, Rafe would catch every little thing you do. Probably been watching you the whole night. Your heart stutters when your eyes lock with his.

That hand on your hip grows bolder, fingers tracing your skin in slow, teasing circles. If you died right now, you’d die happy. And maybe, just maybe, your biggest turn-on is feeling understood. Feeling seen. Rafe does that for you. Topper? Not so much.

“I’ve been trying to get your attention all night,” he murmurs.

You exhale, trying to sound casual. “Really?”

This thing between you two — it’s like a storm you can't escape from. No matter how hard you try. But in moments like this, you can’t run. It pulls you in.

“’Been trying to get your attention all night, you know that?”

You are just about able to breathe out a quiet, “Really?

This attraction between you two is everything you’ve ever needed and wanted, and yet in moments like these, you panic all the same.

You know it’s safer to run from him than to run to him like you always seem to do, but the truth is, you can’t stop. Your steady composure evaporates around him.

Rafe nods, utter confidence in the gesture. Not that you’d expect any less from the kook king himself, he always knew what he thought and felt, and wasn’t afraid to let people know. He owns every single bit of himself.

Unlike you.

“Why are you surprised, flower?” he murmurs, “You know I only got eyes for you.”

You stare back at him, mouth dry and head empty. You want to call him out on his bullshit, put the truth on a silver platter, and hand it to him, but you’d be a hypocrite. How can you tell him you hate seeing him with other people when you’ve got a boyfriend yourself? His best friend. You’ve got no moral high ground here.

So you just nod. Close your eyes, block out the world, and pretend this is fine. Pretend you’re anywhere else but here.

“Is that so?”

He's now grasping both your hips, “Don’t look at me like that. You know I mean it.”

A thrill shoots through you. His touch is scorching your skin, “Not doing anything.”

But fuck, this feels like everything. Cheating on a relationship is a distraction, a self-delusional addiction. This will end in a breakup or breakdown... or worse. You haven’t crossed that line, not physically at least. Not yet. But you feel like you are about to.

“Trust me, you’re doing just enough.”

The way he says it, like it's the easiest thing in the world to want you this bad, makes your pulse quicken. You’re crazy. His lips are so pretty, just the thought of them has you dizzy. Of course, your blush is a dead giveaway.

“Where’s your date?”

“Don’t know,” one hand moves down, “Don’t care.”

“You should.”

His lips twitch, fingers skirting down, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His eyebrows rise, eyes flickering over the room curiously.

“Where’s your boyfriend, flower?” He all but purrs in your ear. Your face is most definitely on fire. 

He stares at you, and you simply stare back. The tension that clouds the air is almost too much. 

“Outside.”

“Now, what would he think if he walked in here and saw you in my lap?” Rafe’s voice is raspy, “Hmm?”

Every bit of confidence you had is nowhere to be found. He always knows how to play your strings. It’s twisted, but the thought only makes you want Rafe more.

“You think about that?” You ask breathlessly, and the hard outline of his cock through his jeans is confirmation enough. You should shove him away. You should feel guilty. But instead, you press yourself against him, his thigh between yours, your brain already melting at the feeling.

“You are really trying to make me fuck you right here, aren’t you?” His voice is lethal, he all but groans, leaning down and sinking his teeth into the side of your neck, just above your pulse, “I’m trying to be good, flower.”

“You’re not good, Rafe Cameron.”

The solid press of his body on yours is all too much. His lips on your neck are everything you’ve fantasized about and more.

“I could be,” Those blue eyes fill with mischief, “For you, I would.”

Your stomach drops and you shove him off, ignoring your flushed cheeks. But then he grins, that shit-eating, sarcastic grin of his, and your glare pierces through him, attempting to keep some space between you.

“Don’t be an asshole.”

“You think I can’t be good?”

“I don’t think,” Your reply is mockingly sweet, and for once he doesn’t smirk, in fact, his grin is half-hearted now, “I know for a fact, you can’t.”

“Right,” His hand works its way from your cleavage, down to your stomach where he lingers for some time, “Good thing you’re dating a good guy, yeah?”

The urge to touch, to be inside you is overwhelming. He’s never felt so desperate to feel someone. The laugh that escapes you is almost bitter, and he knows it. He knows he’s got you. And the worst part? You’re letting him.

“Yeah, good thing,” You breathe, body pressing into his.  Your heart thumps wildly between your ribs and you know you’re going straight to hell.

“Do you want me?” he whispers, arm snaking around your waist to bring you even closer. Again.

“Please.”

In one swift movement, he pulls you down to the couch he’s sitting on. He supports your body with one hand under your upper thigh, whilst his free hand cups the back of your head, fingers interlacing with your hair. The way you situate yourself on his thigh so quickly is too natural, and he does give a little condescending laugh.

There are people everywhere. The party rages on. But it’s like the world has shrunk to just you and him.

You stare into each other’s eyes, panting shakily – lips inching closer and closer together. Rafe lingers there, flushed lips parted, waiting patiently for your move. 

“Rafe?” Your voice is quiet, and yet he still hears you despite the music. You’re not sure how much longer you can stand so close without devouring him whole.

His eyes flicker to yours, “Yes?”

“Kiss me.”

Before you know it, his lips crash into yours roughly, almost bruising them. He’s so hungry for you. For your touch. He has wanted this for so, so, so long. And fuck, so have you.

The hard press of his cock pushing right against your center is torturous. As if his stupid muscular thigh wasn’t enough. You ground yourself down on him, breathing a moan against his lips. 

“My flower,” He pants into your mouth, tongue swiping against your bottom lip, “Gonna be good for me?”

“So good.” You rock against him, your teeth grazing his lips. His fingers untangle from your hair, and cup your cheek, pulling you in closer to deepen the kiss. You push yourself further against him, rocking your hips. He groans against your cheek, thrusting up. 

A large hand slides down your neck and grips it gently, earning him a sudden, breathy moan, “Want me that bad?” 

Your legs tighten around his waist, “Yes.”

“'Y'sure, flower?”

“Yes.”

“More than him?”

“Don’t tease,” you whine lengthily, frustration so pent up it leaves you breathless, “You know my answer.”

“Do I?” Rafe hums, fingers rubbing tight circles into your clothed clit.

“Rafe.”

“Keep talking.”

You try hard to focus on the budding feeling in your core, to chase it so you can finally know what a proper orgasm feels like. Can’t remember the last time you had one, delivered by a man. 

“I want you,” You mumble, grazing your teeth on his pulsing throat as you suckle on his skin, leaving behind a bruise-like mark, “Always want you more.”

“Fuck—” he gasps, hips giving an involuntary jerk, “I’m never letting you go back to him, you know that right?”

Your grip around his neck tightens, fingernails digging into his tanned skin, “All yours.”

You’re so, so wet and you haven’t discarded a single piece of clothing. All he wants to do is replace his thigh with his cock but, he can’t. Not here anyway, so he settles for this. He’d settle for anything you give him right now. Lost to the sensation his head falls back, his eyes screw shut, his breath coming out in short pants. 

“C-Can we–Oh!– Can we leave?”

“Easy,” He hums, eyes still squeezed shut, brows gathering, “Not yet.”

“Please,” you beg quietly, squeezing his waist with your legs as your body tries to shove him closer.

Your pussy swells with pleasure, moans becoming deeper and more strained. He knows you’re close. He’s not far behind and there’s something so primal about making you cum in a room full of people, who’ve yet to take a second look at you two. The alcohol and the drugs in their veins become your accomplices. 

He feels the tension in your body, the way it seizes up, trying to fight the unbearable heat pooling in your pelvis. The sound of his husky moans in your ear is about to send you over the edge – heated coil unraveling, stomach muscles relaxing.

He relishes in the way you’re staring into his eyes with your mouth open. It feels so good, so right. The way his body completely envelopes yours.

You can’t believe you’re about to cum from dry-humping Rafe Cameron.

“This what you want?” He mutters.

You nod as best you can with his palm on your throat.

“Couldn’t fuckin’ wait, huh?” His jaw ticks. “That desperate?”

You nod again. Fuck, you’ll tell him whatever he wants if he’ll just touch you.

Focusing on the budding feeling, your hands grip his veiny forearm. His sleeves are shoved up to the elbows, cuffed there and you can feel a muscle twitch in his forearm. 

It turns you on. You let go of any thoughts, allowing your body to take over. You moan into his shoulder, grinding erratically into his hand.

“Good girl,” His voice is thick with desire, shaky from the buck of his hips. He has your face in his hands before you can shrink away. He's gripping your jaw between desperate fingers and tilting to your chin up, “So fucking good, flower.”

When Rafe begins to bounce his leg up and down and you bite your lip to silence your moans.

“If you ever let him touch you again, I’ll break his fuckin’ arms.” 

A whine seems to be the only thing that your brain can come up with.

You can feel the fire pulsating through his lips; you can feel it radiate off his body. 

He leans in to brush his lips against yours—feverish and light. His tongue swirls through your mouth from desperation starting to lock inside his chest. You have made him feel all kinds of things over the years. He needs to feel you, needs to touch you, constantly. After the searing memory of Topper’s hand on your waist, lips dangerously close to yours, he needs to be close to you.

"M'gonna come—baby, please let me,” You cry out and dig your nails into his skin, chest heaving rapidly.

"Go ahead," He gulps, ready to take you home, he presses his forehead against yours and you wrap your arms around his neck, "'M right here."

Your stomach churns as the thin thread that is holding your composure together snaps. The tip of his nose drags over your jaw, a soft kiss pressed there as he nudges your head to fall back onto his shoulder.

And then he has you shaking, hurtling towards an orgasm that leaves your mind spinning. His lips move to your neck, tongue, and teeth stinging and soothing, mumbling praises and filthy promises.

“Oh, my fuckin'—God!”

He doesn't let up, not when your clit begins to throb, or walls pulse.

Not until you're shaking so hard through your orgasm that you are all but crawling up his lap, leaving you unable to breathe.

“C’mere,” he says, softly, although you haven’t moved. He lifts a hand to your face to brush the hair back from your eyes, lingering for a moment before his gaze slides up to yours.

“You’re mine.” 

[hisui-dreamer]

rewrite the stars

Characters: Leona, Azul, Jade, Idia

Synopsis: if the stars say we're not meant to be, then why don't we just rewrite the stars?

Tags: horoscopes, reader is insecure, crack(?), fluff, comfort, not proofread

Word count: 1.4k+

Notes: rewrite the stars got stuck in my head then this idea popped up hehe

Disclaimer: i don't really know a lot about astrology, so most of the things i say are from google searches. in general, take astrology with a grain of salt yeah.

but also my sign and jade's sign are compatible hehehe

Masterlist

it's not easy being confident in love, and sometimes when you get so lost in your fears, you let anyone and anything tell you what you fear to admit, without a care for how truthful those words may be.

truthfully, if you were dead serious and broke up with him, he'd just grumble out a "whatever" and put up the façade that he doesn't care

but he'd actually be so mad at himself for pushing you away and how nothing in his life could ever go smoothly

but your eyes are swollen and tears are threatening to spill as you whisper those words

he silently approaches you, and instinctively reaches to brush your tears away, but his warm, calloused hand only makes you cry harder at how much you love the man before your eyes

he pulls you into his arms and holds you close as you sob into his chest

he doesn't say anything and waits for you to elaborate, there's a part of him that's afraid if he asked you why you wanted to break up with him, he couldn't bear how his own self-hatred

once you've calmed down, you start explaining how you two are incompatible in astrology, that he's a leo so it's easy for miscommunication to happen and other issues that have plagued you since you read about them

he's heard all this make believe astrology personality stuff before, but never before has he been glad of how ridiculous the idea is

you hear leona let out a big sigh, and the tension in his shoulders immediately lessens

pulls away from you to stare deep into your eyes, his face completely serious and solemn

"Herbivore, are you happy with me?" he asks. At you confused face, he repeats the question, his expression unchanging. When you nod firmly, he smiles slightly and asks again. "Then what else matters? As if I would let the souls of the past kings or some random star talk decide who I'm gonna love," he scowls at the idea. He leans forward and rests his forehead against yours. "You're stuck with me now, I'm not lettin' ya go that easily," he whispers.

He pulls you with him as he falls back onto the mattress, cradling you in his arms. "Sleep. You're not a baby anymore so don't go crying yourself to sleep," he teases, but he gently kisses the remainder of your tears away.

azul.exe has stopped functioning

blubbering like a fish out of water (wait...) he's lost and hurt and confused and panicking all at the same time

"w-w-what have i done to upset you angelfish????"

the tweels walk into azuls office just to see the two of you crying and confused, azul trying to ask you why and he's sad and crying, you're stumbling over your words and sniffing and crying

ok after a glass of warm water (thank you jade) the two of you calm down to actually have a proper conversation, though azul is still very obviously tense

you explain that he's a Pisces and that means you two not compatible with how sensitive he is and he's a water sign and so on

azul is very confused about how stars can determine people's personalities, but he does fit the description of a Pisces, and if his beloved Angelfish is stressed over astrology, then it must be a reliable tell (azul no)

he asks for you to give him some time, to actually understand your reasonings and of course, to give him a chance and prove to you how willing he is to work out a relationship with you

the next day, azul visits you with very deep dark eye circles, but the glint in his eyes shows full determination and confidence

azul businessman mode on!

sits you down and pulls up a slideshow

azul ashengrotto is now an astrology expert!

he's determined to show you that you two have maximum compatibility and whatever issues you have? he'll always work them out with you

"Darling, you mentioned our Sun signs yesterday, but I think it's crucial to also discuss our rising, moon, and star signs." He declares as he points to a star chart. "Now, following the calculations of our birth dates and locations..."

An hour later, you sit completely convinced that astrology all but supports your relationship with Azul, and you can't help smile and jump into his arms. Azul, sleep deprived and running on anxiety, somehow manages to not fall over, but soon leans his weight on you. "See? We're perfectly compatible with each other," he murmurs against your ear. His arms wrap around you, squeezing you gently, "so please don't leave me, I wouldn't know what to do without you..."

eyes wide slowly blinking like "... I beg your pardon?"

honestly jade doesn't look that surprised/hurt

but really he's suppressing the turmoil of emotions inside him

ever the logical thinker, he'd ask a calm "May I ask why, my dear?"

and you surprise him again with flowing tears and a trembling voice

though he's listening very patiently as he's diligently wiping away your tears with his handkerchief, soft careful movements to avoid causing discomfort

asks questions when he doesn't understand what in astrology is going on, genuinely making an effort to understand this field of academics

in a sense, he's distracting you from being upset with academic discussion

okay, he's a Scorpio, which makes him good at manipulating people??? and he's very bold??

now while he finds all this very interesting and slightly accurate, it still feels pretty whimsical that the time you're born in determines your personality

particularly as he's so different to Floyd! and they were born at the same time!

whichever the case, the more pressing issue is his dearest lover sniffing and whining that you could never be happy together with how incompatible you are

he pulls you into his chest for a bit, rubbing soothing circles into your back and leaving gentle kisses you until your sniffing quiets down

"Dearest, won't you look at me?" he murmurs against your ear. You look up to see the most tender expression you had ever seen on him, his mismatched eyes filled with warmth and affection.

"While it is indeed extremely unfortunate that our star signs are incompatible, I don't believe there's a single person out there who could love me better than you do," he says as he kisses your hand. "I promise that your happiness will always be my utmost priority, so won't you continue to love this silly eel?"

"Now, while I will always find you enchantingly beautiful, I do believe a smile shines the brightest on my lovely pearl," he smiles while brushing the remaining wetness away from your eyes.

simply put, idia panics immediately

every day he thinks the fates have been far too kind to him for you to even reciprocate his feelings

he's always mentally preparing himself if you want to break up or you need to leave him

so he puts up a brave face when you say you can't be together

but wait... you actually look really upset and on the verge of tears???

"Hold up, why are you the one crying?"

please don't tell him those are tears of joy i think he'd die on the spot

through sobs and sniffs, you tell him that you were curious about your compatibility based on astrology

and okay...? he's a fire sign??? explains the hair

okay so you're telling him, you're breaking up with him solely because you think this thing might be right and not because you hate him, right?

brb gotta blow up some stars

starts mumbling about some plans to build space missiles and blow up some stars that make up his sign or something

he can't be an asparagus(??? idia no it's sagittarius doesn't matter) if the constellation no longer exists, right?

you stop him (thank god) by cupping both of his cheeks to make him stare straight at you

he's flushing up instantly and every fiber of his being yearned to turn away but your teary gaze makes him stop squirming

"You know," he begins, his voice earnest and steady, "everyday, I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. If you're unworthy of me, then I'm unworthy of you."

He lets out a chuckle, that rumble echoing right into your ear. "I suppose I can put those star destroyer blueprints on hold, at least for the time being. But if the stars ever mess with us again, it's game over for them."

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[newtthetranswriter]

Hihi saw your post about wanting request so thought I'd send one!!!

How about a drabbles of Finral, Zora, Klaus, and Nozel would react to someone flirting with them in front of their s/o /someone putting their s/o down to make themselves look better??

Lots of love and hope ya get more request! ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ✧

Parings & Word counts: Finral x Reader 957 words, Zora x Reader 882 words, Klaus x Reader 985 words, Nozel x Reader 690 words

Warning: Bullying, mentions of alcohol, if I missed anything please let me know

A/n: Hello, thank you so much for requesting. I enjoyed writing this especially because there is not enough love for the Black Clover men out there. I went with a gender neutral reader as you didn’t specify so I hope that’s fine. I also kind of split the prompts, Finral and Kalus are reacting to someone putting down their s/o and Zora and Nozel are someone flirting with them in front of their s/o. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate. 

Finral:

    Finral may have a history of being a playboy but that all changed. After you agreed to go out with him, he flipped his script real fast. The only person he had eyes for was you, going as far as telling Langris he was no longer interested in Lady Finesse and wishes them both well. Having you as a partner was like a dream come true for him, you didn’t care that he was the disgraced son of the Vaude family, or that his magic was only good for support. You just wanted him to be happy and You helped him feel more confident in himself and his abilities.

  For the first time in his life finral actually felt secure in a relationship and would do everything in his power to keep the relationship healthy. So, imagine his shock when he notices you shying away from his affection while out on a date. Normally he could hold your hand, kiss your cheeks or hold you to his side as you walk through the markets of Kikka, but for some reason you pulled away every time he tried to show affection. 

  “Hey, Y/n is everything okay? You normally don’t mind holding hands and stuff.” He asked quietly, sounding almost scared that he did something wrong or misunderstood what you were comfortable with.

  Before you could respond another voice Finral did not recognize, started to speak. “Well if it isn’t Y/n, when you said you were joining the Magic Knights I thought you'd at least try but I guess the Black Bulls are probably the only squad willing to take a weakass mage like yourself.” Turning his attention to the person who so rudely interrupted his date, the spacial mage could quickly tell this was some pompous noble. What he couldn’t tell though was how they knew you and why they were being rude.

  “Excuse me, who are you?” Finral asked, his tone showing he was not pleased at all with how this person was acting.

  Scoff in offense the noble spoke again. “Don’t take that tone with me. I’ll have you know, I’m Claire Elric, you know the family of mages who specialize in Alchemy magic.” The snob, Claire identified herself. “And I was talking with an old friend. I suggest you mind your own business but then again judging from your robe you’re also a Black Bull so you probably don’t understand respect.” Claire stated matter of factly. 

  Rolling his eyes, Finral spoke again. “It was a rhetorical question, you could be the king’s kid for all I care, it doesn't give you the right to talk down to people for no reason.” He started not having the patience for assholes. “Y/n is a powerful mage, and works hard everyday to help our squad get better. Not only that but they are extremely kind and caring, so I suggest you treat them with respect.”

  Having been silently watching from behind Finral since Claire first spoke, you couldn’t hide the shock on your face. Finral was never the confrontational type, but here he is defending you from one of your life long bullies. Being behind him though you could also tell from the look on her face that Claire was ready to snap, and it would probably be best to leave before stuff goes south. “Finral, we should just go. It’s not a big deal, she’s right anyway the Bulls are the only squad that would take a mage like me.” You said gently pulling at his sleeve trying to get him to drop it and go. 

  Sadly your pleas were left unanswered as Finral was not going to stand for someone convincing his lovely partner they were less than perfect. “No Y/n, we aren’t leaving just yet. Not until this ass realizes that it’s not a bad thing you are part of the Black Bulls.” He said looking over at you before turning back to the now scowling noble. “Like I said before Y/n is a valuable member of our Squad and any other Squad would be lucky to have them. But Judging from your lack of any squad robe, you weren’t even good enough for any, so instead of spending your time looking down on others who have done more than you, maybe you should try being a better person.” 

   Claire’s scowl went from mildly upset to pissed real fast. Before she could even think to respond Finral quickly used his magic to open a small portal at the noble’s feet and watched as she fell through it. You looked at him shocked before speaking. “One, thank you for standing up for me. Claire has been a bully since we were young. And two, where the hell did you send her?” You were grateful she was gone but you hoped it wasn’t going to lead to problems for you later.

  “Oh I just sent her to the farthest place I could without using too much mana. Don’t worry she’ll be fine though it may take her a while to get back, I hear Hage is a few days walk from castle town.” He said with a smirk. “And I’ll alway defend you, no one should talk down to you for any reason. I mean it, you are an amazing and valuable member of the Black Bulls. I know I for one would be lost without you.” With that Finral pulled you into his side, placing a kiss on your forehead before continuing throughout the market. You would probably get a complaint later about Finral stranding a noble in the forsaken realm, in a few days but hey that’s nothing new for the Black Bulls, plus Yami will probably find it funny.

Zora:

   Finding time for the two of you to go and enjoy yourselves while being part of the Black Bulls is a hassle. Hell even days off aren’t off limits from chaos as Asta proved when he went to Nean and had a run in with The Eye of the Midnight Sun. So the moment Captain Yami even started to say it was time for everyone to have a day off, you and Zora were out of the hideout and without a second thought.

   You guys made your way to a village where hopefully none of the crazier members of the squad would end up and made sure you weren’t followed. Peace and quiet in the misfit squad were hard to come by so you weren’t risking it. Making your way to the local pub, you and Zora sat at a small table only big enough for two and as far from the crowd that had gathered. Planning to enjoy a nice lunch before walking the town and just being together.

   Unfortunately maybe the pub was not the best idea for a lunch date. You guys had agreed on it because it would be cheaper than one of the cafes or restaurants around the village. What you hadn’t factored in was the numerous drunkards who either just started their day of drinking or were still there after their night of drinking. In all honesty it took longer than one would expect for one of these drunks to cause a problem but hey it still happened. 

  You had been mid-sentence about how you hid Magna’s flan the other day and blamed Luck, just to cause some trouble, when some drunk lady stumbled over to your table. “Ex-cuse me, but could I of-ffer you a drink?” The lady said eye one Zora’s shirtless torso, completely ignoring you and the fact Zora could not look less interested in her.

  “No. Anyway, Y/n next time we should go a step further instead of just hiding Magna’s food we should -” Zora started plotting how to mess with the resident idiots after turning down the drunk. Only to get halfway through his thought before Drunky spoke again.

  “Come o-on handsome, I’m ssure I can give you a great time.” She slurred as she tried to get his attention. Zora just rolled his eyes and tried to ignore her. “Don’t be like thaat, I just want to ssee whatss behind that mask.” The Drunk was clearly to far down the drain to realize she had zero chance.

  Being totally done with the lady you decided to take it on yourself to get her to leave. “Hey drunky, he’s not interested. Also we are kinda in the middle of a date and I would appreciate it if you left my boyfriend alone.” You said, making it clear you did not want to deal with her while still being somewhat polite. The lady just scoffed at you before turning back to Zora.

  “I know I can give you bett-tter time then this buzz kill.” She said now leaning on the table. You were trying to hide your frustration, when the drunk did something that made the normally calm mage across from you let out his own frustration. While trying to seduce him by running her fingers along his jaw, the lady had the nerve to try and pull his mask from his face.

  Standing probably faster than you’ve seen him move in while, Zora completely loses his cool. “Do not touch me and definitely do not touch my mask. We tried to be polite but you leave me no choice. No one would want anything to do with a hopeless drunk who has nothing better to do than interrupt a couple on the first date they’ve had in months, and then touch one of them without permission after being told twice to leave.” The whole time he spoke he had the lady’s wrist in his hand, not a tight enough grasp to break it or leave lasting damage but it was clear from his white knuckles there would likely be a bruise.

  Deciding it’s probably best for Zora to not catch an assault charge for possibly injuring a civilian on day off, you step in. Resting a hand on his shoulder you spoke up. “Hey, let's just go back to the hideout. I know we wanted peace and quiet but that clearly isn’t gonna happen here.” Zora thought for a second before dropping the lady’s wrist and wrapped his arm over your shoulders leading you out of the pub ignoring the eyes of the few patrons who weren’t unconscious.

  “Sorry our date got ruined by that lady.” You apologized hoping to ease some of the tension clear on Zora’s face.

  He just shook his head. “Not your fault. I think we should just accept the madness we deal with. I mean where’s the fun in life if someone isn’t being crazy.” Zora made a valid point.

  Chuckling as you made your way back to the Black Bulls’ base. “You’re right, if we wanted quite we probably shouldn’t have joined the Black Bulls of all squads.” You laughed as you reached the hideout and were greeted with the tell tale yelling from Magna and Luck fighting over who knows what this time.

Klaus: 

  Being at the Golden Dawn’s base was intimidating to begin with, now add not being a member of the top squad and it feels like even breathing wrong could get you yelled at. Luckily you were only there to get your boyfriend for the date you had planned, it was rare that you got the same days off so you liked to take advantage of it whenever you could. Normally, Klaus would either meet you at the date location or come get you from your base, but for some reason he had requested you meet at the Golden Dawn’s headquarters.

  You had been greeted at the door by Mimosa who said Klaus was just finishing up a quick meeting with the Captain and then he’d be ready to go. While waiting Mimosa offered to sit and chat so you didn’t feel so out of place, your Black robe standing out in the sea of golden ones. Accepting the offer you and Mimosa sat by a window enjoying some tea while chatting about recent missions and laughing at some stories of Klaus making a fool of himself over Asta. 

  Completely engrossed in Mimosa’s story about how concerned Klaus was when they found Asta passed out in the cave near Nean, you failed to notice the green haired mage approaching the two of you. “Yes, he really said he was only worried because if Asta was hurt then you would be upset and he didn’t want to see you cry.” Mimosa said holding in laughter also not noticing her Squadmate approaching.

   “When did we start letting the riff raff lounge around our base?” Letoile said, as she looked at you with what could only be described as disgust.

   “I’m sorry, what do you mean by that Letoile?” Mimosa asked, confused why her squadmate would say something like that.

   The compass mage scoffed. “I mean, when was it okay for a Black Bull to just hang around the Golden Dawn’s base, shouldn’t they be with the other commoners and criminals?” Every word that came out hurt, sure you had heard it all before, the Black Bulls weren’t exactly the most respected squad, but this time it felt personal.

  Mimosa watched as the color drained from your face, she could tell you were debating leaving even before Klaus was ready to go. “Y/n has every right to be here. They may not be a member of this squad but they are still a Magic Knight. Besides they’re waiting on Klaus, it’s not like they’re trying to move in.” The royal tried to defend you, but it seemed her words only gave the other woman more fuel for her fire.

  “Oh that’s right, you’re Klaus’s charity case. The little commoner who barely managed to help save him in that dungeon. I don’t know how you convinced a noble like him to go out with you but he could do so much better. I mean he’s surrounded by powerful mages everyday and he picked a weak peasant like you. You probably used some forbidden spell to get his attention, huh?” Letoile said with a pointed look, clearly enjoying the clear turmoil on your face. She paused trying to think of more insults, hoping to find the one to get you to run off. 

  Unfortunately for her, it was at that moment a certain purple eyed mage decided to clear his throat. Everyone froze, Klaus may be calm and collected most of the time but when he’s upset it can get scary. “I don’t know what you think you gain from being rude to my partner, Letoile but I suggest you apologize and then leave them alone.” He said voice never changed from his usual calm and strict tone.  The green haired mage mumbled a quick apology and quickly ran off. Klaus then turned to Mimosa. “Thank you Mimosa for keeping them company while I was busy, and for standing up for them as well.” The red head nodded and quickly bid farewell before giving you to space.

  “So how much of the interaction did you see?” You asked quietly as Klaus moved to help you stand from the table you were sitting at.

  “The whole time, I heard you laughing about Mimosa’s retelling of what happened in Nean and was going to join you before she said much else when I saw Letoile approach. I wanted to see what she wanted.” He explained with a slight frown. “I’m sorry I should have stepped in sooner, I was curious to see how other members of the squad would react to you when I wasn’t present.” It was clear from his tone that he was truly sorry for the things his team mate said.

  Resting a hand on his arm you spoke up. “It’s fine Klaus, sure what she said hurt but having you and Mimosa stand up for me means a lot. In all honesty I’ve heard worse, I’m a Black Bull after all.” Hearing you laugh at your last comment brought a smile to his face. 

 “Are you sure you’re okay, you looked close to crying or running?” He asked as he pointed out how clear it was you had been uncomfortable.

  “Yes I’m fine. I can’t say what she said didn’t hurt but knowing how much you truly support me and seeing how much you’ve changed since meeting me and Asta, I know everything she said was out of jealousy.” You answered, now enjoying the look of slight confusion on his face.

  “Jealousy? What do you mean?” Klaus was truly perplexed.

  “Yeah, She’s just jealous I got the best guy and I didn’t even have to try.” You said, finishing the statement placing a kiss to the steel mage’s cheek. Klaus at a loss for words, his face bright red from the kiss, just held your hand and guided you out of the base towards the originally planned date.

Nozel:

   To put simply Nozel is clueless when it comes to people flirting with him. To even start dating you had to straight up say you liked him and wanted to go on a date. That being said he is the most thoughtful man ever in a relationship. Believing that his partner deserves the world and all of his focus. So when a random member of his squad started flirting with him, he had no idea. 

   The first couple of times you had been out either on missions or just running a few errands, so you weren’t there to tell him this girl wasn’t just being kind to him but in fact trying to seduce him. Sure his younger siblings had been around and tried to tell him after the girl had left that she was flirting with him, but he only has eyes for you and in his eyes it’s clear he’s off limits, so surely Solid and Nebra are seeing things.

  He only realizes that his siblings were right when the same girl came up and started flirting with him, while at a feast the Silver Eagles were holding for some reason. You and Nozel were sitting together having a conversation about how he should try being nicer to Noelle, when little miss heart eyes popped up.

   “Hello Captain Nozel. How’s your day going?” The girl asked clearly unfazed by the glare both the captain and you gave her at the interruption. After hearing the quick fine breathed out by the now eerily calm Captain, she kept speaking. “That’s good to hear, I spent the day training and was thinking maybe you could give me some pointers on how to be more effective in combat?” She asked, twirling her hair and trying to act cute. 

  Nozel being clueless, and just annoyed that his conversation was interrupted by idle chatter mumbled a sure and turned to go back to his previous discussion. “Wow Captain, you are probably the best Captain there is, being willing to train even the lowest members of your squad. I can’t wait to learn from such an amazing mage.” The silver haired Captain just nodded and made to look back at you. “Do you do this for all your squad mates or am I just that special to you Nozel?” The girl went from subtle flirting to not trying to hide real quick.

  “Honey I hate to break it to you, but Nozel is like this with everyone. He stopped listening to your squeaky ass voice the second you interrupted our conversation.” You said being done with the girl’s clear lack of care for those around her. “Besides take it from the person he’s dating, flirting will get you nowhere. Now if you don’t mind Me and my boyfriend here are gonna leave and if I hear even a suggestion that you’ve been flirting with him again you will wish you never looked in his direction.” With that you stood up, Nozel following without protest because he just wanted some peace.

  “She wasn’t flirting with me was she?” He asked as you exited the dining hall making your way to your room at the Silver Eagles Base. 

  You couldn’t help but laugh at how clueless he could be. “Nozel honey, it was so painfully obvious to everyone she’s been flirting with you. Hell your siblings have told me previously that she’s done it and those two are so absorbed in their own delusions of greatness I’m shocked they noticed before you.” He just stared at you perplexed as he really thought, his siblings were fucking with him. Thinking for a moment he just nodded in acceptance entering your shared room ready to call it a night. “You know, for a Magic Knight Captain, you are really clueless sometimes. I’m sure even Fuegolen could have been able to tell she was flirting and that man can’t understand sarcasm.” 

   Hearing the mention of his rival Nozel glared at you as he undid the braid at the front of his hair. “Not funny.” He said full of seriousness, but from the slight smile he knew you were only joking.

[albondiguilla007]

Tomarry recs Part l

Soooo, for the Tomarry girlies, hope this reaches you. Here are some recommendations of the pair. You should know that all of these have something in common though, aside from being my favorites. These are TOMARRY fanfictions, meaning Harry x Tom Riddle, not Harry x Voldemort. (So, most of them time travel)

I feel more comfortable with this ship, and I’ve found that it tends to be less toxic, (though not always). Another important thing about them is that most put both Harry and Tom in equal footing, meaning: no abuse or manipulation (tho Tom certainly tries), or just any funny business.

If there is anything I love about these fics is how Harry confronts Tom, questioning his beliefs and social standing by just being good ole Harry. Sassy, magically powerful and impulsive Harry. So yeah, enjoy!

- [ ] Wear Me Like a Locket Around My Throat: Technically incomplete, but it’s basically a second part. The main arch wraps up very nicely, so I’d count it as complete. The secondary characters are amazing, I fell in love with all of them. I don’t why, but Hogwarts feels pretty nostalgic in this one. 220k https://archiveofourown.org/works/7189349/chapters/16316573

- [ ] Terrible, but Great: Incomplete, still updating. The author has already written most of the second Arch. Tom reaaaallyyy wants Harry to submit and follow the Slytherin hierarchy. Harry won’t. They have the most epic confrontations. 173k https://archiveofourown.org/works/35714410/chapters/89052469

- [ ] Of Kings, of Pawns, and of Men: Incomplete: This one is addictive, I’m telling ya. I couldn’t stop reading. Not time travel per se, but still amazing. A tiny bit of Drarry. Harry befriends the Slytherins (Blaise, Pansy, etc) Tom is OBSESSED with Harry, like absolutely crazy about him. 146k https://archiveofourown.org/works/8323864/chapters/19063957

- [ ] you belong to me (i belong to you): Incomplete: Auror absolute boss bitch Harry. He reincarnates in another boy. Sort of? He catches everyone’s attention (Tom’s) when he starts acting differently (confident, powerful, won’t take shit from anyone) than he did before. 112k https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270490/chapters/25203408

- [ ] Earning his notice: Complete: This one is very short, but I feel like it sums up all my favorite tropes. Definitely give it a try. So my boy travels back to Hogwarts, is sorted into Hufflepuff, manages to fly under the radar during his school years and starts working on a shady business on Knockturn Alley. Everything is fine until his shop is attacked by Death Eaters, and ✨surprise✨he earns Tom’s attention. 40k https://archiveofourown.org/series/1174940

- [ ] At the end of every road: Complete: Crack treated seriously. Fluff, sassy Harry. Tom courts Harry, they get engaged. Sort of. Harry becomes a professional Quidditch player. 90k https://archiveofourown.org/works/46642903/chapters/117465823

- [ ] What Souls are Made of: Complete: My two fav things: Golden Trio friendship + Tomarry (Ron and Hermione travel back in time with him) 277k https://archiveofourown.org/works/35109247/chapters/87462256

- [ ] Stab right through: Incomplete: Snarky Harry, I love him. He gets sorted in Ravenclaw (Harry is equally as confused) Tom is intrigued. 80k https://archiveofourown.org/works/12051324/chapters/27288978

more recommendations here: Part ll