#yard anon

[real-total-drama-takes]

(too lazy to scroll back & read to see if anyone said this but) I feel like straight Noah ships would be more appreciated if everyone let go of the headcanon that he only liked men.

Gwoah works well together, Nemma is cute (but definitely needed more development i think), Nourtney could probably become a thing if they were on the same team, Nizzy already has some evidence in canon, Neva would definitely be very popular i rhink, Maybe even Noah x Sierra if someone wants to go that far in.

🧶-anon (can i be yarn anon)

.

[ventalizm]

In the image of Bill being in the pad section I thought he was in the diaper section and was just really supportive of Ford's abdl kink

WHAT

idk what that is and honestly i'm scared of searching it up

[markscherz]

do you know any shrimp scientists? if yes can you ask them why thor amboinensis are apparently referred to as sexy shrimp. because what

I looked into this, and it turns out the answer is basically that these shrimp sway sexily (?) whilst they walk or feed. You be the judge.

[seiwas]

hello sel!!! hru doing??

The ask game is super fun! How about Gojo + vindictive.

I hope u hv had a lovely day 🫶

zuro anon

zuro anon hello!! thanks for sending in a prompt!! i'm doing good 🥺 spending this lil vacay at home, mostly 🥺 and happy to be back writing 🥺 i hope you have the loveliest weekend 💗

contains: non-canon, childhood enemies to lovers (ish), (modern) arranged marriage, reader wears a braid and dresses

gojo + vindictive

you hate gojo satoru. you have ever since you were 5.

he's a bully―a real cocky one at that, with no regard or remorse for how his actions affect those around him.

on the day before your 6th birthday, right as your parents gathered together for the annual countdown, he gobbled up the entire plate of your favorite milk cakes before you could even take a bite. this marked the start, the beginning of a vengeance stewing inside of you.

at the age of 8, when you first learned how to do your own braids, he would tug at them, pull them free and unravel all your hard work for the past hour. you used to chase him for it, yell "satoru!" with all the strength your little lungs could muster and he would merely laugh and run faster.

the name "satoru," you've learned, must be synonymous with "sabotage," because it's all he's ever done. he threw the flower geto suguru handpicked for you straight to the ground, and purposely splashed gutter water all over the white dress you intended to wear on your first date.

not to mention, he's always rubbed in the fact that he's better than you, at everything―dangled all his accomplishments in front of you as if he knew they were just centimeters out of reach.

gojo satoru is solely responsible for tainting your childhood memories a miserable cerulean blue.

so, when your parents sit you down one day and tell you that you'll have to marry him, you feel transported in that moment, to each and every instance gojo has ever wronged you. it flips through your mind like a montage of flashbacks in a movie.

it's both surprising and not. your families have always been partners, in everything―business, education, and now you guess, life as well. you hate gojo's guts but this creates an opportunity you don't think can result from anything else.

so, sure, you'll agree to the marriage―only to make his life a living hell.

"hello, fiancée," he greets you, for the first time since the agreement.

you don't do anything to hide your disgust, face scrunching up as you spit out, "shut up, satoru."

the wedding planning is horrendous―at least, you hope it is for him. you pick out every single cake flavor you know he hates and choose the brightest venue possible for the event. the lights you pick for the afterparty are strobe lights, and you make sure to do multiple test runs just to play with his eyes. it doesn't occur to you that the solution to his light sensitivity is simple: just a plain pair of shades.

you wear plumping lip gloss on your wedding day, just so his lips burn when you have to kiss him. but gojo is either extremely numb or just good at faking it, because all he does is grin as he whispers quietly before parting, "spicy."

in preparation for your married life, you create a ledger of some sort―a book of accounts housing every single thing gojo has done wrong. you write down your plans to get him back for each of them, a list of pranks and inconveniences to make him regret ever messing with you all those years ago.

at half a year of marriage and 25 years of knowing each other, he casually tells you the big "i love you," but you're sure he doesn't mean it. you tell yourself your heart is racing from how infuriating his existence is; at how stupid his face looked when he'd said it. not anything else and most especially not the little dimple on his cheek that shows itself every now and then.

(you didn't know it yet then, but he'd found the ledger you kept and read through it all. the one-year plan, the three-year plan, the five, and so on. and it does nothing but strengthen how he feels about you, since he was 6, 14, and a few years ago at 24.

it's at your third year of marriage that you find out―how gojo's known all this time, but more importantly, how there were reasons behind every single instance you thought he was out to ruin your life.

with intelligence far beyond his age, gojo has always preferred the company of adults more than children. at age 6, he would listen in on conversations his mother had with her friends, roughly comprehending complex worlds with the simple ones he understood. someone had mentioned something about their daughter being allergic to milk. and so, when your birthday came up and all he saw were milk treats, he gobbled them all up in an effort to make sure you wouldn't be subjected to an adverse reaction―even though you were far off from any dairy allergy.

what he was sure of, however, was that you were severely allergic to bees. and when he spotted one perched right on the buttercup stem geto handed you, he had no choice but to smack it right out of your hand and down to the ground, stepping on it too, for good measure.

and, okay, maybe he was a little naughty for tugging at your braids when you'd just spent all that time doing them, but he always liked how they flowed into waves when they unravelled; how you'd chase him afterwards, angry but so, so pretty.

if there's one moment gojo will consider real sabotage, though, it's that date he stopped you from going to. like there was any way he was going to let another man see you dressed like that. he isn't nice that way. when gojo wants something, he's not sharing, and the sight of you in white―that was meant to be his and only his.)

[patchesjam]

slime spoke about dream and cantu thing and said if someone hits u then u get hit back in the real world cause outside of the internet ur not a "smol bean" (like people were making cantu out to be) and aiden said that mf isnt even a smol bean hes 20 😭

good for slime i love a lover of talk shit get hit

[a-manicured-lawn]

So. Wind and Spirit as Sages with Secret Stones. It probably wouldn't make sense but I think the NotTwins having those things has good potential for both crack and angst.

OKAY

OHHHHHKAY

you've made me roll this around in my brain for a WHILE anon and i'm going to go HAM (long enough to need a 'keep reading')

to start with, we need to know their magic types. we've got several such as Time, Wind, Spirit, Lightning, Gloom, Light, Water, and Fire. for obvious reasons, Wind and Spirit will be the ones we'll focus on today considering it's both these Links' names and the best matches for their personality and game usages.

the Wind secret stone has the ability to create gusts, right? WRONG. The gusts were already made by Tulin before he got the Stone, and the stone allowed for the avatar summoning and possibly enhancement of the power. By the same token, Wind's secret Stone would of course be Spirit Wind, and his control over the wind would be enhanced since that's his original usage of the element. depending on how juiced up he is, it's possible that he wouldn't necessarily need the Wind Waker to direct the breeze if he had a Secret Stone on board, but that means he'd be able to create an avatar to help Wild out.

Spirit, obviously, would be getting a new ability with his Secret Stone. In canon lore Spirit has no connection to ghostiness aside from seeing the dead similar to Wind, but i personally like to add the concept that Spirit can, in fact, separate soul from body at will alongside his Zelda. This Secret Stone could perhaps be the reason for this gift, allowing him to "die" at will and use his soul to possess Phantoms, scout around, and ignore anyone who tries to put him on bedrest. it's not as flashy as, say, Wind's, but it's still both impressive and useful and can be used for a variety of situations (until someone's got a bug net!).

now that we've got the whole concept of their powers mapped out, though, we have to figure out why, exactly, these two children have world-ending power in the palm of their hand. You mentioned Crack, you mentioned Angst, and both are so delicious that there's no reason why we can't do both.

Following the defeat of Ganondorf, there are a LOT of Secret Stones hanging around. Mineru's, Ganondorf's, Zelda's, and the Sages depending on whether they'd be asked to give them up. Naturally, the safest place for these extra stones would be with someone who's uninterested in them, i.e. Wild and his Purah Pad/Sheikah Slate. who cares about power, he's got Recall and unlimited bombs at the same time!

Crack: Everyone is hanging around the campfire, chatting and having a great time. They get into a conversation as to the most impressive things all of them can do, with Wind loudly declaring that he's got the Wind Waker and is thus the flashiest and most epic Hero of them all. Spirit is next to him, quietly knowing that he doesn't have all that impressive of items himself without his train.

Since they're both kids, everyone gives them a patronizing "Sure, Jan." and ignores them. And. Well. Wild *does* tend to love his brothers.

Wind insists on a demonstration of his coolness, and Wild decides to have some fun. As he pulls out the Wind Waker, Wild taps him on the ankle with one of the Stones. the light breeze turns into a blistering gale with a loud yelp, and the Stone makes an ankle band to tie it to the new Sage Of Winds!

Cue Wild cackling in the background, tapping the other one to Spirit. THAT one goes even worse, as the new Sage of Spirit promptly dies as soon as the Stone touches him. there is a LOT of panic, a hundred apologies, and a very excited Hero once Spirit learns he can do it on command.

The Sages are both delighted at their new powers, refusing to take them off and using them for minor inconveniences. Thanks to Timeline Shenanigans they can even turn back time to TotK, saving Link in the nick of time from Aerocudas or angry Constructs and vanishing with a cheeky salute or a shy wave. if this particular Wild went to LU before TotK, that would throw him WELL off his game even after both boys had vanished.

Meanwhile, over in Lurelin, two young boys kick back with virgin banana dacquiris and watch the boat races while comparing the speed of a boat to the speed of a train. Neither win, of course, considering that there are no trains in TotK (hmpf.)

Angst: Within Zonai architecture, twin dragons have always been a recurring motif. Some pieces, like the Shock head, tend to look like the dragons Wild has seen in his adventures. Farosh, Dinraal, Naydra.... Zelda.

But for the rest, Wild has never seen these twin dragons before. An architectural liberty, perhaps? or a memory of dragons long-vanished?

It's only during a particularly ugly bout with the Black Lizalfos that he discovers exactly why. As a club shatters his leg and the Twins rush over to cover him, he sees them both shoot glances at each other.

At the twin Secret Stones, lying placidly on their wrists.

He can't do more than whimper out "no!" as one twin, then the other protect each other as they grab the stones from their holders.

Then, as one, swallow.

Twin Heroes no more as the shockwave obliterates the nearby monsters and Twin Dragons rise into the sky with simultaneous howls.

(cue an epic quest for them to revive their brothers, because if it happened for Zelda once then Wild is NOT giving up.)

hhhhhhholy fuck this went on longer than i expected. Surprise?

if you want to write any of this be my guest!

[psalmsofpsychosis]

"#Batman resists his own insanity so it spreads to e v e r y t h i n g around him"

You can't just say this and not elaborate in great detail. PLEASE elaborate oh my God. I do agree but I want to hear every single thought you have about this topic.

Btw, I'm the same Anon who asked -- or not really asked but more so talked -- about Batman and Joker's soulmate sort of bond.

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH "COMBINING JOKER'S HEAD WITH BATMAN'S BODY"???????

I was thinking along the lines of the concept version and how they could never be satisfied like this, united in one body. What is the result of mixing chaos and order? What is the result of mixing the act of forgetting the past and fixating on it? What do you get through combining the ideology of making everything matter and taking all meaning away?

The result is that the pure concepts become stained and dull, pushed away from their original function, losing their purpose to oppose each other.

Becoming one entity is the act of becoming complete (concepts being stained) and losing the thing that made them them. Batman and Joker were never meant to unite in this way with overlapping voices, finishing each others thoughts and sentences and it SHOWS. I'm in love with their grotesque obsession with each other that borders on love and punishment. Their desire to win and conquer the other for good but never being able to because losing one side takes away the purpose of the other.

That's why I'm so, so, SO disappointed with how the Batman Who Laughs turned out. Where are my identity crises? Plural, because this could never be an one-and-done kind of deal. They became OneTM, inentionally or not, but BeforeTM, they were always wondering what it would be like. Batman could try to get closer to Joker's mental state but never fully experience it, same with Joker. But now they are OneTM and then what? Batman is just the Joker with Bruce's memories and face. I can't begin to describe how boring that is. That's like if DC made a "Deadpool kills the Marvel Universe" story only they used Joker instead of Deadpool.

Do you see my vision? Can you feel my pain? I wanted to psychoanalyse that asshole with my amateurish psychology knowledge but they only gave us a watered down Joker who makes other Batmen less interesting upon contact. WHERE ARE THE IDENTITY CRISES?? WHERE IS THE DIFFICULTY IN MAKING A DECISION?? WHERE ARE THE LENGTHY MONOLOGUES ARGUING BACK AND FORTH OR CONTRADICTING EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME??? The Batman Who Laughs is basically Two Face but without the wall seperating Harvey and Two Face. Joker!Batman should be unable to do anything or constantly switch between Bruce and Joker or save one life and then turn around and kill it. Like, where is the complexity? Why the hell is that guy only a murder machine?? That was neither Joker nor Batman's whole purpose??

Tell me all your thoughts, my friend, while I'm here spinning in circles and going insane. I'll never get out of this alive, you'll still find me ruminating on this on my deathbed.

I swear, if you give an absolute banger of an answer again, I'll come and start living in your walls.

Have a nice day!! :)

ANON LOVE OF MY LIFE, i'm shoveling all the insides of my walls out as we speak, you can move in by Wednesday morning—

Like, the way i felt every single word you said in my bones. You are so right, and there are a couple different points here and it's gonna get longer than usual so i'll separate each thought thread to avoid drowning in lé brain soup.

• Re: batman resisting his own insanity, i feel like i have simultaneously talked about this in 7986 different ways and haven't said anything about it at all 😂 possibly most of it has been discord ramblings. Long story short, the spine of his narrative to me is that he actively resists his own humanity and in extension of it, his evil. He wants to be good. But there's also immense psychological/emotional/physical price we pay whenever we make these kind of choices; whatever we disown and banish to our subconscious, we project out into the world and unto the people around us. The load you refuse to carry will be carried by the people around you, because at the end of the day /someone/ has to carry it, it doesn't just disappear into ether. So, in a way, for Batman to remain good, to remain a hero, someone else has to be bad. The extent in which Batman keeps his goodness "pure and untainted" dictates the horrors created around him— and particularly the creation of Joker. I say creation because the existence of Batman as a concept absolutely necessitates the existence of Joker. In a way Batman does create him, and it's true that with Batman gone Joker and half the evil in Gotham would be gone too, not because Batman is an evil presence— but precisely because he disowns his own evil.

And the thing is, in the specific context of Joker, it has become this almost loving, adoring symbiotic relationship; Joker has willingly shaped himself to fit the outline of an evil that Batman needs to defeat, he has become the sin that Batman can overcome so he can stay a saint. I actually have a draft on this that i never finished, a meta about how all the coloring choices in Joker's design eerily resemble the different color stages of a wound and the bruising after, how Batman almost feels like Jesus with Joker as his side wound, Joker being the price he pays and the pain he goes through for his martyrdom in order to stay pure, for his idealogy to have any form of meaning and significance, Joker being his very own holy suffering.

We fundamentally understand reality in form of contrasts, internal ones, external ones. As you very well pointed out, without an innate sense of contrast, we cease to have any form of coherent grasp on different concepts, and they start to sort of become noise, they become nothing. Would you truly understand what a day was and grasp it as a concept if it wasn't followed by a night? So like, what i'm saying is, people around Bruce/Batman become what he needs because they love him and they want to help him keep his narrative, the structure of his psyche intact. They help him stay 'him' by taking on the burden of what he doesn't want to be, he subconsciously shapes them in the image of what he needs to uphold his identity as a good person. This is why Alfred becomes Joker to save him, this is why Selina is the more socially acceptable pretty Joker that Bruce can actually marry and bring to his family, this is why Joker and Batman feel like they can never escape their narrative, their roles and their performance. It's the reason the moment Batman lurches to kill The Riddler in "the war of jokes and riddles", Joker stops his knife with his hand. It's their defined roles, and the greatest act of love that noone except Joker would show him. Joker says "I'm the sacrifice. I'm the evil, i'm the one who kills, i have made this choice so you can make yours. You're the good one. If you become evil, it renders both your efforts and my sacrifice meaningless, and i can not allow that to happen." And it's a truly fascinating dynamic really, for all that Joker has and hasn't done throughout the Batmanverse history, when it comes to Batman he's irredeemably selfless. Everything he does regarding Batman is to keep Batman's sense of goodness and heroism intact, and in this context he's more pure than him. Everyone around Batman wants him to kill, perhaps rightfully so, they mean well. But Joker says "i'll bear all the unbearable evil so you dont have to, and we both acutely understand that without my existence you mean nothing. I will be the monster so you dont have to." And honest to god there's a heartbreaking affection to this, something noone else will ever be willing or want to offer to Bruce, not to this extent.

in 'the war of jokes and riddles' Bruce tells Selina that "what separates him from utter evil is a hand on his knife. Joker's hand." like bro, he knows. In a deeply twisted and gutwrenching way Bruce knows that noone loves him the way Joker does.

• Re: combining Joker and Batman's heads and bodies, i was thinking.... two concepts maybe?? 👀 one is more like the Dullahan myth, in which Batman loses his head but he isn't carrying it, Joker steals it. And then Joker loses his head and Batman has to keep it and he's forced to use it. It'd be an insanely fun concept; the Dullahan myth can be interpreted as the idea of death of self by supposedly losing all that would make you human; your thoughts and memories and logic, etc. Except that you still have a heart, and a body, and they're not exactly cooperative. It'd be fun to have Joker's mind trying to tame Batman's heart and body, each fighting and singing their own song, same for Batman. A version of the myth has Dullahan carrying a human spine in one hand, and i mean, the possibilities are endless!

But also another concept would be: two frankenstein monsters lmaooo, same sense of discordent internal landscape, same sense of ideological tension and conflict, but also someone's gotta [tw mentions of gore] chop chop them and sew their body parts together, and that can be another interesting element added to their fucked up dynamic ✨️ it can also be Joker as Dr Frankensten and he sews parts of himself to Batman in order to save him!

• Re: Batman Who Laughs, oh girl (gn), i have nothing to add that you haven't already said more beautifully than me. There's so much emotional nuance and complex philosophy that could've gone into that concept, it's certainly one of the hardest Batman story variations to pull off, and weirdly enough, the people who dont directly aim for "Batman becomes Joker/Joker becomes Batman" stories often tell a better more intricate tale about that transformation than the people who straight up shoot for the concept. One of the things that always sends a chill down my spine is the ending of Batman: Europa, in which Joker is terrified and screaming as Batman laughs and lurches for him; that's the dynamic, that's the Batman who laughs, and the most unsettling part of it is that, Batman doesn't change. He doesn't have to. On a core level he is quite frankly a bit fucked up, it's not a stretch for Batman to be evil, and that's why his goodness is meaningful. Cue Nietsche's quote, "Of all evil I deem you capable: Therefore I want good from you. Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws." Batman is not a good guy entirely, and that makes his goodness a conscious choice with so much weight and worth and significance. I dont think a lot of DC people understand this.

With Batman Who Laughs, the name kinda sums up the take unfortunately; it's a superficial interpretation that falls flat on its own face because the writers couldn't be assed to explore how a chemical combination of Batman and Joker's narrative would unfold. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ as with any potent chemical reaction, the mixture is highly unstable and unpredictable, and that's the fucking fun of it. There's gotta be tension. I do think Batman and Joker can very well mix, i do think they can make a seamless fusion, but i dont trust any canon DC writers to handle the characterization well in a way that doesn't bore you out of your fucking mind. You gotta make a new person and you gotta capitalise on the core components both Batman and Joker share; their incessant sense of idealism, their need for purity, their volatile emotions and their aggression, their need to individuate from their context and deviate from the norm, take the third way out narrative wise, their philosophical and intellectual bend, their immense grief, their need to be oh so special and different 😂 they actually have a whole lot in common, this is why they're perfect enemies!

But yeah, writing that personality fusion is very hard because it's such an emotionally complex context and most DC writers have not felt a single emotion in the past 35 years aflhdtdhlf

Anyway yep i love your brain so SO much Anon, hope you have a wonderful day ❤️💕 and dont forget to tell me what ya think!!

[skeletalheartattack]

...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe

yuuuump always been behind me

[flamingtoads]

Bobby vampire! TOAD! You’re winning!

Explain this to me anon?! IS THIS A REQUEST? A FIC?! OR SPOILER!!?! WHATCHU MEAN?!

[hakusins]

fire those rounds, lower the rent, scare the puritans, i give you consent

cw // mentions of kinks

haha i can't believe i made it - i hope you can read my shitty handwriting now if you excuse me. *buries myself into the sand for the next 20 years*

edit: FUCK I FORGOT BREEDING KINK-

[the-way-astray]

nobody's ever had a crush on you? serious? no way

way. i like to think it's because the aromanticism wicks off me like bad cgi, slapping potential suitors in the face with an indescribable sense that if they tell me they like me, it will end in disaster. but i'm afraid the real reason might just be that i'm unlikable

[kitom-kortil]

20 is not a kid lmfao

Yes the fuck it is u insufferable prick

A kid. Not a minor, dipshit. A kid. They are a fucking kid. They cannot even legally drink you stupid pretentious fuck. They havent even been out of school for TWO FUCKING YEARS.

Im done being polite you people are fucking stupid and pathetic little sheep that are too much of a bunch of pussy fucks that dont actually give a fuck about anyone but urselves and ur righteous jerk off material.

Youre sitting here believing a post that is so fucking blatantly faked and full of bullshit because it gets you off and makes u feel big and bad and important. Its fucking fake.

Ven and DB claimed to be minors and theyre both ADULTS. Mitcha suicide baited someone. Youre pathetic and gagging on the dick of a pathetic transphobic little bitch who was pissed they didnt get their dick jerked the way they wanted cuz they failed to keep their manipulation target under their thumb so now theyre blowing up a bullshit post and making up lies cuz they want fucking attention.

Youre fucking stupid. You have no fucking brain. Cry and bitch and jerk ur dick in ur little masturbatorium and pat yourself on the back for cancelling a random fucking kid for fake shit cuz ur too fucking scared to report actual pedophiles in your fucking area.

I hope the worst possible shit happens to all of you disgusting fucks.

[robin-5-technically]

Ah I’m truly hurt… have I ever lied to you?

✨

Always so suspicious of my actions and gifts…

Always jumping to the worst conclusions…

Ah well…I suppose that ignorance is bliss after all…

Why face the music when you can live in a deluded reality of your own making?

Oh…how trust is so easily obtained yet forsaken…

((🥹!!))

-✨

I would be less suspicious of you if you gave me less reason to be suspicious. There is nothing ignorant or deluded about being cautious of you.

[mx-giraffe]

do you take art requests? if so, may i humbly ask for zombie dazai plz (any point of his life will do btw)

absolutely, PLEASE give me art requests o((>ω< ))o

and i reckon you may. Here, have a zombie Dazai fifteen.

[chrliekclly]

omg what r the most sunny alex g songs to u?

hhh ok heres a few.....

THORNS: (macden) thorns reads like a younger den and mac's relationship dynamic from the perspective of dennis toying with mac and being aware of the power he holds over him in regard to mac's attraction to him leaking thru the deep religious repression and feeling like he can play with that without any chance of it becoming a real Thing (but accidentally getting wrapped up in it too)

POISON ROOT: (charmac) this song evokes such strong nostalgia in me, and the "now i know everything" makes me think of charlie and mac looking back on their childhoods fondly but accidentally realizing just how neglected and abused they were in the process

BRITE BOY: (charlie) brite boy feels like each verse is a different member of the gang talking to charlie while he's in a bad state and trying to comfort and ground him

SANDY: (dee) this whole song is honestly almost exactly perfect for the way i see dee's childhood: "my friends say im ugly," "my brother says he hates me," like... "my name is sandee i'm 14 years old, and sometimes i hate you but right now i just wanna go home" is real barbara reynolds hours

my name is sandee i'm 14 years old, my insides are changing and right now i just wanna grow up. i just wanna grow up. i just wanna grow up. i just wanna grow up....i have feelings about her

[dnpbeats]

Im like 80% sure that was their backyard. So this was basically a house tour

real!!!! this is the phouse: