#yapping about RAY again...

[laidback-thrills]

What’s the most evil thing Ray has done

Oh, god. That's a tough question, because he's done so much insanely terrible shit that it's hard to quantify at this point. Badness level off the charts.

He has unlimited resources, essentially, at his and his wife's basement laboratory, to do whatever he wants, and he's sick in the head enough to be ...inhumane.

The worst, besides his penchant for sewing people together (The Demon Centipede ended its own life...), is his experiments on the Ars Goetia. His good friends and associates toss him the unruly, misbehaved, unwanted court members for him to carry out his divine experiments. They don't call him the Angel Doctor for nothing— he has a particular sick desire to exploit them, both out of deep curiosity for their angelic background, but also from a personal, spiteful level as a "lower species".

He morphs them into monsters unrecognizable to the source. Poisons them, mutilates them— he fucks with their psyches and terrorizes them on a genetic level, trying to bring out the most painful, holy parts of them. It's almost never pointless, of course– he always has a question he sets out to solve when doing it, but the level of brutality far exceeds often what is necessary, because really, he feels justified in doing it, and honestly?

No one will ever stop him. He's having so much fun.

His behavior is seen, by his wife and his good friends, as nothing short of utterly interesting and delightful.

[thebrideofreanimator]

everyone say thank you ghostbusters for being the actual best autism rep i’ve seen in a movie ever

[rainyraisin]

I am curious I know you have Raph being aro but what originally made you decide he was cishet? /gen question

Oh my gosh I am so very sorry I did not see this-

One major reason that I didn't consider an aro or ace identity for Raph originally was because both Donnie and Casey were already aroace, although they're on different parts of the spectrum. Having a third of the main cast be aroace already felt like a bit much to me so when it came to deciding on the identities for the rest of the main 6, them being aro or ace never came to mind, which is why Raph being aro-spec was such a late development. Iirc I did consider making Leo ace a while back but scrapped that for this same reason, along with the fact that I didn't want to muddy her arc considering how complex a character she already is.

However, a slightly sillier reason why Raph was originally cishet was like... he just looks like he would be 😭😭 I looked at that mutant ninja teenage turtle and went yup that's a cishet if I've ever seen one- Mikey was the same but he also later got changed like Raph did because oh my god if Mikey doesn't give off the most bi energy ever-

Thank you so much for the question!!!

[soshirohoshinasimp]

The Sun Proposed to the Moon

Sunshine Soshiro, always the early riser, has a way of waking you up with the softest glow. His bright rays peek through your window, gently nudging you awake. You groan, burrowing deeper into your blanket fortress.

"It's way too early to be alive," you mumble, but he only smiles, his golden aura sparkling around him like a little cartoon character.

Sunshine Soshiro, with his warm confidence and radiant energy, seems like the kind of person who could light up any room. He's the human equivalent of a sunbeam: cheerful, bright, and overflowing with optimism. But when it comes to you, he's a little… different. The day he tried to ask you out, he stammered and tripped over his words. His ears went as pink as a sunset, and for once, the sunshine couldn't help but blush.

Sunshine Soshiro, always calm when people throw insults his way, loses all sense of composure when someone dares to say anything bad about you. His sunny disposition turns to stormy skies as he defends you with an intensity that matches a midday heatwave.

Sunshine Soshiro, whose weekends are filled with social events, never hesitates to invite you along. 

And you, Moon Y/N who spends all your time reading Tumblr smut fanfictions and engulfing in snacks and energy drinks (Soshiro complains how it  isn’t good for you all the time) 

And when he knows you've had a long day of socializing (ugh), he’s the first to bring you your favorite drink and let you rest. His warmth envelopes you like a cozy blanket.

Sunshine Soshiro takes you on peaceful picnic dates, where he spreads a soft blanket under the trees, the sun shining down, making everything feel magical. He never pressures you to talk if you don’t feel like it, simply sitting beside you with a gentle smile as the day unfolds around you. He’s there for you, just as bright and soothing as the sun itself.

Sunshine Soshiro is quick to lecture you about your terrible sleeping habits, his face furrowed in concern.

You roll your eyes, calling him a hypocrite after catching him training at one am. 

“Well, well, well! What do we have here?” you say, adopting a dramatic tone, like a villain about to expose their final plans. "Hypocrisy at its finest, I presume?”

Soshiro puts his hands up in mock surrender, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Alright, alright, m’dear, you caught me,” he chuckles, but then pauses. “Darlin’, aren’t you supposed to be in bed right now?” He walks toward you, his fingers lightly tugging at your cheek, his brow furrowed with worry. “How many times do I have to tell you? You need to sleep, this isn’t good for you."

You give him a playful smirk. “What about you? It’s one am, you should be in bed too” 

He ignores that and gets back on to lecturing you. (taking you on a yapping adventure 🙏🏾)

 "Are you drinking those energy drinks again? I told you those aren’t good for your health."

You shook your head dramatically, the light around you dimming just a bit in the face of his concern. “C’mon, my love. Let’s get you to bed, alright?” he says softly, but with that stubborn determination you know too well. Before you can protest, he puts his dual blades in his pockets while he scoops you up in his arms, lifting you bridal-style like you weigh nothing at all. "Let’s get some rest," he murmurs, marching you toward his room like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

You sigh, giving him a playful frown. “Aren’t you going to sleep with me? Soshiro, this isn’t good for you either.”

"Yeah, I’ll be there in a bit,” he replies, grinning that stupid grin of his.  (that physically makes you smile too. Hoshina our king with his stupid toothy grin 🤚🏾🥲) “I need to shower first, I’m sweaty as hell.”

[aychama]

L: I told you to leave me alone

R: I know Sir, but I'm your advisor and I (unfortunately) have to supervise you too.

Raymond sighed as he read the papers in his hands while following Leshy.

L: Do you think I need your supervision? I was doing just fine before you arrived. I'll continue to do so. Leave

R: I can't. We still need to go over a lot of things, we're far behind schedule to discuss real matters which is urgent, I need you to sign the agreement of imported goods from Anchor Deep and the people in the neglected villages are revo-

L: Fine! How many!?

R: Pardon?

L: How many papers, Raymond?

Leshy turned to him with a momentarily anger. To him, Raymond was simply, yapping.

R: Uh, about... 1, 2, 3...

He began counting, sounds of the paper coming to Leshy's ear.

R: 86 papers, sir.

L: Well good luck to you with that. Just copy my signature.

R: Wait, me? Sir I can't just decide on the matters of the whole kingdom!

L: Aren't you my "advisor"? That's your thing, to decide.

R: Yes, I give advice! I don't rule over a kingdom!

L: Too bad so damn sad, I don't feel like listening you talk about dumb problems I won't be paying attention to anyway.

Leshy chuckled a bit and walked towards his work room. Raymond followed right behind, a bit panicked by the king's nonchalant decision. Leshy closed the door behind him, Raymond nearly making it inside.

R: You can't just ignore it! I promise it won't take long... Don't you care about your people? They are suffering! They are doing their best but barely surviving with what you let them have! Not only that, you've added taxes when I was gone!

L: My people are doing fine. You're worrying too much for something so lame, Ray. If I'm really that shitty of a king, go on. Fill my "so important" papers. And I thought you were smart enough to think that.

Raymond rubbed his temples after setting the papers aside. He took a deep breath. Leshy just sat one of the comfortable chairs and leaned back.

R: (God, I prefer hell over trying to convince this man child to do anything) It won't be long before everything breaks down to chaos if you continue to neglect your duties, sir.

L: ...

R: Maybe the other crowns were right about you after all...

Leshy immediately got up and turned towards Raymond.

L: What did those old bastards say about me?

R: Just the usual sir.

He smiled. Good thing Leshy was, well, blind.

R: That you were too young and naive to understand how a kingdom works. The red crown even said he was surprised that you haven't got hunted by your people.

L: That... Grim faced cat! You know what!? I rule my kingdom just fine! I'm the best king out there! They wish they were me! I can rule their kingdoms along with mine if I wanted!

R: Yes sir. You could...

L: Read me the damn papers Raymond! I'm gonna finish these papers faster than any of those living corpses!

R: (Works every time)

___________________________

It was night time when they were able to finish all those papers. Raymond had lit a candle long time ago to read better and Leshy seemed to listen.

R: This is the last paper... It's, it's over

L: Finally, for fuck's sake...

The worm yawned and leaned back. Raymond put the papers in order and set aside, before leaning back like his King.

R: Sir your profanity.

L: Ray I'm too tired to care.

R: You're right... I should be too tired to ask.

L: What's the time?

R: The moon is up by a hand. It's too late.

L: You don't say.

The advisor yawned and drank a glass of water. The King on the other hand rubbed where his eyes should be. It was rare but, sometimes, his eyes would bleed again, his wounds so easy to tear open. The cat panicked at the sight, immediately his tiredness vanishing by worry that overtook.

R: You're bleeding!

L: Don't-

Leshy hissed at him when Raymond tried to touch his face so he backed away. Raymond looked at the blood with sadness for his King.

R: Does it... Does it still hurt? Does it hurt bad?

He asked with a shakey voice as he reached for Leshy's face again. Surprisingly, the short tempered king didn't pull back the second time. He leaned to the touch, to the feeling. Raymond's palm got bloodied as he wiped it.

L:Not anymore. Not like the way it used to...

R: It's good... I think. Is it just pitch black..?

L: People assume so. But no. My vision is my thoughts. I can see just, not in the way you'd expect

R: How so? How can you just- See?

The King chuckled at the advisor's weirded out question.

L: I already know what something looks like. I know colors, I know shapes, I know sounds, the materials, the feelings. And, if you know it like I do, it feels like your whole imagination is your sight.

R: That's... Not as bad as I thought

L: You think about going blind?

R: No, heh, of course not... I think about, how hard it must be for you.

L: You think about me? Now that just makes me shy~

R: My King-

Raymond gave a tired and short giggle as he blushed. Even though he hated his job, he didn't hate the worm necessarily.

L: What? Can I not be curious about why you think about me Ray?

R: With all due respect, that's not the point, sir. I work for you, it's natural that I worry for the one I'm working so close with.

L: And somehow I'm someone you must worry for? The levels you bring me down to.

R: You make it sound like everything is just fine! Is there really nothing bad about being blind?

L: There are bad sides of it of course

R: Like what?

Leshy smiled, putting his hands on top of Raymond's.

L: Knowing I'll never actually see you

AU8WUW8UQOAPAAJUDJDAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HELLO???? THIS IS SO GOOD?!?!?!?!?! How dare you send me this awsome gift as an anon 😭😭😭 Thank you so much omg I didnt think such a simple drawing would inspire someone to write something like this!

THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[oinkinpigprince]

S CREAMS AND SETS YOU ON FIRE okay robbie is about to start YAPPING

okay so i found this funny video of micheal cusack from 10 years ago yapping about how he loves corn flakes. (it's .... on youtube okay. just search up 'i love cornflakes' and click the one with micheal cusack) UM THAT VIDEO MADE ME THINK..... LIKE....... PIM BEING ALL GOOEY AND LOVEY DOVEY WHILE HE'S DRUNK.

(/nf if you don't want to do that!!!! i understand completley:3)

I JUST WATCHED THE VID AND IM GIGGLIMG SO MUCH, AUSSIE ACCENTS ARE SO FUNNY

Now I’m rewatching smiling friends again in anticipation for the new season!!!!

Drunk Pim x reader

Pim strikes me as someone who doesn’t drink often, definitely drinks on special occasions! He just always gets embarrassed the next morning

You’ve never seen Pim drunk, and when you asked Pim why he just said he gets wild you didn’t by it so you tried to ask Charlie. when you tried to ask Charlie though, he just started laughing

So it wasnt until a Christmas party at Charlie’s did you understand what he meant by ‘wild’ and oh boy was it hilarious

You thought he was a ray of sunshine before, he wasn’t just a ray, he was a flaming ball of love to everything he saw

Pim kept calling you sweet pet names and you’d catch him just staring at you with the biggest sparkly eyes. When you asked him what he was doing he’d just hic out “you’re so beautiful a-and amazing!”

He started crying because he thought Charlie’s decorations were so pretty and he was so proud of him for getting into the spirit of Christmas

Have you seen the tiktok of the boy who was leading the prayer at thanksgiving and wouldn’t stop crying cause he was just so full of thankfulness and love. That was actually Pim

He made a toast and you had to drag him out cause he was so loving towards everyone and couldn’t stop the word vomit of admiration and joy

It was really sweet and you had to try not to bust out laughing at his sad little face that was so full of love and joy. After dinner and he finally relaxed he just literally clung to your shirt, like literally clung to it

He left to go use the bathroom and when he came back he forgot who you were and bro was SMITTENED. You’d think he met a real life god(ess) he was so in love again

Pim drunkenly asked Charlie to introduce you to him and when Charlie was obviously like “tf??” He began practically begged Charlie

So that’s why a snickering Charlie walked up to you and introduced you to your own boyfriend. Which was, hilarious and very confusing. You and Pim did have a very lovely ‘first meeting’.

“S-s-so do you have a b-b-boyfriend?” “You’re actually never going to believe this.” Let’s just say he was SHOCKED. You gave him a peck on the cheek and he just stared at you open mouth and eyes, you heard Charlie loosing his shit in the background.

You had to carry Pim home, and his face the next day when you told him everything was priceless. He was so flustered and embarrassed. This is why he doesn’t drink

[absfawn]

hehe another andersonfilms fic drop, chat! number one fan here, i don’t wanna hear anything else from ya’ll. i’m number one, always. haven’t even read it yet and i know it’s going to be so amazing and yummy. can’t promise i’ll hold back on my mushiness and gay ass shit, but i’ll contain it. for now. maybe. i’ll let ya’ll know. maybe. anywho, rambling in the reblogs are clearly my favorite!! that’s a slay, chat. eren shut up challenge: impossible.

“You know you don’t have to stand this close to me.” Abby counters, but her words didn’t make you move an inch. Not that she really thought they would. Secretly, she enjoys your gentle touch. She likes how comfortable you feel around her. The downpour in New York has your arm entangled with her own, your hand gripping her bicep as she holds the umbrella.

baby girl …. you’re the love of my life, you smell good, of course, i’m going to stand very close to you, and get a whiff of that sexy musk you have. okay but abby having an inner gay moment because she loves how safe you feel around her #NEEDTHAT 🥰 ugh abby, my chance when? reader this, reader that, when is it abby x eren????

“God, forbid your hair be in ruin, sweet girl.” Abby’s wet lips look inviting, especially when she’s smirking at you. Delectable, enticing, desired seeping underneath your soul as you try your best to keep them at bay. 

abby calling me sweet girl…. yeah i’m going to need at least 6 business years to recover from that one!!!!!!! even the way you write into depth about a look, or how her lips look, has me 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 like yes please smirk at me, i will fumble, but it’s fine! i’ll let you call me whatever but keep looking at me like you are so in love with me.

“I can see that smile.” 

okay you’re not gonna catch me smiling at my computer like this!!!!!!!! just kidding, reading that line fr had me cheesin and grinning at my phone. the way i can just hear abby saying that in my ear right now, please keep it coming, i’m feeling like i’m on cloud nine

All it does is isolate you, making your life incredibly lonely. Trapped on the throne you built with your raw talent, but the industry is a double edged sword, as much as it appears to lift you up, it impales any sense of normalcy at a private, peaceful life. You take pride in these little moments you have with her. It’s the only time you get to have a taste of normalcy, even if you did have a bodyguard, which wasn’t entirely normal. Yet, Abby is a gentle reminder of a life she wishes to have. Someone who is kind, and loving; a soul that exists for no selfish gain, greed, or selfishness.

this gutted me, i can’t lie. it’s almost 6am and it’s stabbed me in the heart. heavy on feeling isolated, no matter where or what you do. and feeling alone is such a vulnerable feeling that so many people have, but being able to feel like raw with someone cares about you, is another kind of special feeling because you aren’t alone. you have someone to help you through that and i think that’s fucking amazing. eren going into a deep dive about isolation, typical, chat, look away, ya’ll don’t see nothing.

Abby hates seeing you like this, but she knew there was little she could do to help. All she could do is let you ride the wave of heartbreak, take in the silent tears hitting full cheeks, and hope it would all end soon for you. For now, she would allow immediate proximity.

being able to let your guard down and letting someone else see a side of you, that you’ve probably held back on doing so, is a feeling i genuinely carry so deep in my heart. even if someone can’t physically do anything to change what happened, just having someone there to listen to you, to let you cry, is more than enough. crying at the crack of dawn, don’t mind my salty tears over this reblog, kay? thank you. 

When a blossoming friendship turned into a job opportunity, it took Abby through a loop. It was the very last thing she was expecting from you. You’d kept her in the dark and when you announced exactly who you were, Abby really didn’t know. Never was she really a fan of social media, didn’t really partake in it unless someone was showing her the latest trend going around. She’s a little old fashioned but she likes it. It worked in her favor when it came to you. Unknowingly, for the first time since your fame struck as quick as lightning, you had the pleasure to befriend someone who had no idea who you were. 

i fear i’m full sobbing now. thank you for this. it’s scary knowing someone but not exactly knowing them, if that makes any sense. ray the angst queen!!! no but seriously, especially with abby having a deeper background, and i’m sensing certain trust issues here, correct me if i’m wrong, i guess her finding out who you were, had her spiraling. don’t worry babe, i’ll take care of you, i can do that!

In the last year, Abby became the only person worthy of your trust, the only one who would keep your confessions confined, not letting the secrets drip like cheap wine down the drain. Rather more as if she was out in the vineyard, carefully hand picking the grapes for the wine as she crafts it herself. Giving it the love, care, and attention it needs to flourish into fine beverage. From one sip alone, knowing she would crave for the taste. 

again, being able to trust someone is so special, and yes i’m fucking yapping and havin’ a therapy session in the goddamn reblogs but whatever! my reblog, my rules! the way you’re william shakespeare with the angst in such a beautiful way has me looking at you like that one pepe emote where he’s just in awe. okay anywho! write me in my next life??? i’ll pay extra for that <33

Listening and seeing you for who you are, not some strewed version the media made you out to be.  

this!!!!!!!!!! HEAVY ON THIS!!!!!!!! getting to know the person, in person, than using social media is so important. what do you mean you would rather just believe stuff you read over getting to the know the person?? ya’ll be so serious.

When paparazzi are around, you always accept her hand as she guides you through the swarming crowd. Abby knows you despise it. How inhumane it makes you feel. You feel like an attraction, an object the masses had come to see rather than being viewed as an actual person. In these moments, you cling onto Abby the most. While she’s intimidating to all, there leaves a small exception for you, never has she once been anything to you more than just a sweet, gentle giant she wants close to her at all times. 

my turn when?? please give me your hand, abby. i will do anything for that chance. get reader out of here, it’s just me and you now, baby girl, love of my life, angel of my light, light in my darkness. CLINGING TO ABBY, WE LOVE TO SEE IT. WE LOVE TO SEE A PROTECTIVE QUEEN #NEEDTHATRIGHTNOW

Nora was sweet. The most caring partner she ever had, but there wasn’t much she could compare it to. Besides her, there had only been two, and she didn’t even count Owen. A long misstep until she landed where she needed to be. He did care for her, and he seemed to be more kind-hearted than most men, but the bar was set so low, he should’ve exceeded expectations.

i wouldn’t count owen either, paintbrush looking ass. i hate that guy so much, even in fics he pisses me off to no end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the many fights  they’ve had with each other as of late. Nora is tired of dealing with a “baby gay” as she likes to remind her in the heat of their arguments. Abby gets offended, her lips forming into an even deeper pout, her porcelain skin flushed in anger before she gives them both space. 

nora don’t call her a baby gay, but abby pout mention!?!!?!?!! i just wanna kiss it right off her pretty face and make up for the fact baby just wanted to have a safe place, someone to call home, baby i can give you that, you dont need these people, i will give you everything you’ve ever wanted.

“For a moment I thought I ran into a wall—” You giggle to yourself. “Really, I’m alright.” You spoke softly. You pick up both of your belongings that had slipped from both of your grips, returning it to its owner. 

god, i want to be inside that wall, i mean, uhm, what? shut up. i said nothin, chat. i said i would try to contain my gay ass, but i simply couldn’t! soz!!!!

Even as time passed, the two of you became friends through your employment, spending all your time with her during press season for your upcoming film, Lonely Is The Muse, together. Today was the only day you had off, even if it means Abby technically had the day off, you insisted that both of you leave the hotel and go out for the day. It's the most peace you felt during the European leg of the tour. Only one more day of dealing with your sensory issues, people in your face telling you when and where to go, or the distasteful question regarding your past public breakup instead of the work you were promoting.

we love clueless gays who are actually madly in love with each other! no because, just wanting to spend time with her, even when you’re busy is making me sob :(((((( like yall are so in love and yet have no damn idea is making me blush but also piss me off. YALL ARE IN LOVE!!!! ADMIT IT! okay eren, relax your socks there, boss. hehe are you enjoying my random yaps? i really do hope you are, i’m having a blast right now, and drinking my coffee. alright my ADHD is out for my ass, erm!

“What do you want to do then?” Abby asks. She takes note of the sparkle in your eyes, as blinding as the sun but obtaining the serenity of the moon. “I’m all ears sweetheart.” 

BLUSHING LIKE A SLUT RIGHT NOW, WHO WANT ME?!!!!! CALL ME SWEETHEART, CALL ME YOURS, PLEASE, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO AROUND HERE FOR THAT, ABIGAIL???

“Flattery isn’t going to get you a shot tonight.”

just say you hate me then, god ..... just kidding, give me your children!!!! the attitude is making me horny ... erm, it is 6am ... let me relax!?

“I don’t see how anyone would ever want to leave you.” Abby hums, not giving you much to go off of, tight lipped as she’s always been. The Nora situation has always been on your mind. One day, Abby’s speaking of her like she’s the love of her life and the next? Abby stiffens so tight when you bring up her name you promise yourself to never speak of it again. Until now, almost two years later, you’re more curious than you have ever been. The fatal ending, not belonging to you, but still you paw for the answers with your greedy palms. 

RAYNUSSY SHAKESPEARE!!!!!!! petition for ray to write me in my second life, i need it, asap rocky, right now! i want to be written this perfectly and beautiful, is that so much to ask for??? i’m really not asking for much ….. chat, start the petition

“Hm.” Her thumb pulls at your bottom lip, “You’re just trying to get me in trouble now.”

what about it? you hating it? tough luck, i would do it again!

“I don’t care. All that matters is you.” You push a piece of blonde hair away, seeing her beautiful cheeks more clearly, her shining blue eyes finding its unique path to your heart, the one especially made for her. “Here just let me talk, alright? You don’t have to say anything. Just listen.” 

communication and ressurance!!! for real breaks my heart when abby doesn’t think she’s good enough or good enough to be loved. a feeling that i’ve felt countless times in my life, okay eren no one gives a fuck about you, and to see it in fics makes me really emotionally happy because it’s a real problem and people don’t like to write something that is so fucking raw, they would rather hide that fact or those parts but be able to read it, really makes you think. she deserves all the love and affection. always! we love you, baby girl <33

“There’s no more waiting, m’right here.” Abby closes the gap indefinitely, lips connecting with yours as they move in perfect harmony, as if this is what she was made for. Involuntarily, she whimpers in your mouth as you gently tug at her bottom nibble at her bottom lip, your tongue sliding in as it dominates her own. It happens too quickly — the way her very being melts into you. 

YES YES YES YESY EY SEYESYSYYFYYEYYSYYDY!!!!!!!! i love this, everything about this is melting my heart. we for real love two clueless gays being right for each other. abby saying she’s not going anywhere, the whimpering when you’re kissing her, everything about this is PERFECTION. NOW LET ME GO REREAD AGAIN

we can all collectively agree ray is the abby writer, yes? from the raw vulnerability abby has to being able to accept the fact she’s enough, that she’s enough and that someone can love her unconditionally. this is stunning, i knew it would be before i even read it, but i do love reading everything you come up with. even watching you write something makes me heart melt because it’s perfect. if you wrote a book, i would be the first to buy every single copy, i’m selfish like that, taking every single copy to read them over and over. your writing will always be my favorite, no matter what. i fear i yapped a little too much, but i hope it makes you laugh, smile and maybe cry … just kidding please do not cry i will sob too <3 thank you for yet another banger, another beautiful piece, i must go and read it again. i love you <3

≛ LONELY IS THE MUSE!

❝ ABBY!CENTRIC ONE SHOT ❞

feat. bodyguard!abby x famous actor!reader

warnings. eighteen+, suggestive nsfw content: reader fell first nd and abby fell harder, some angst, fluff, slightly coded fem reader, personal trainer!abby, just two idiots pining. i saw the discourse for some romance and i wanted to do my part. enjoy friends.

LONELY IS THE MUSE, entangled in an endless web of a high profile life, everyone waiting on you hand and foot, hollywood’s star in their prime — everyone needing a piece for themselves. yet the mysterious blonde who has not a clue to who you are, catches the eye of the lonely muse.

wc. 8k

“You know you don’t have to stand this close to me.” Abby counters, but her words didn’t make you move an inch. Not that she really thought they would. Secretly, she enjoys your gentle touch. She likes how comfortable you feel around her. The downpour in New York has your arm entangled with her own, your hand gripping her bicep as she holds the umbrella.

“Maybe, but I don’t want to ruin my hair.” You replied gently, as you rested your head against her relaxed bicep.

“God, forbid your hair be in ruin, sweet girl.” Abby’s wet lips look inviting, especially when she’s smirking at you. Delectable, enticing, desired seeping underneath your soul as you try your best to keep them at bay. 

“Now that would be positively tragic, wouldn’t it? Just a paparazzi’s wet dream. Need my hair in ruins for them to get a handsome payday.” Abby shakes her head, the budding smile threatening to reveal itself. You can see how it grows, despite the effort she makes to disguise it. 

“I think you do enjoy my company. Paid or not, I bring some light into your life.” You play with the ends of her hair. The blonde feels a tingle pricking at her skin. She ignores it. 

“I can see that smile.” 

Better than anyone, Abby knows the gleam in your eyes is too dangerous to entertain, so she looks forward. It’s what she's paid to do, to keep you safe. Not to entertain some weird crush that will soon pass when you move on to the next actress, artist, or producer. She doesn’t need a reminder of how different your world is, she’s already abundantly clear on where the both of you stand. Worlds apart from each other, even if you’re leaning against her, the greedy hands of the public grab onto you first, mercilessly sucking the life out of anyone who enters your life. 

All it does is isolate you, making your life incredibly lonely. Trapped on the throne you built with your raw talent, but the industry is a double edged sword, as much as it appears to lift you up, it impales any sense of normalcy at a private, peaceful life. You take pride in these little moments you have with her. It’s the only time you get to have a taste of normalcy, even if you did have a bodyguard, which wasn’t entirely normal. Yet, Abby is a gentle reminder of a life she wishes to have. Someone who is kind, and loving; a soul that exists for no selfish gain, greed, or selfishness. 

Sometimes, you take advantage of it. 

Abby knows you crave physical affection. Ever since your messy break up, you’ve been finding any little excuse to justify it. Abby didn’t really mind at all. Even if she tried to deny it in her head, she’d miss it if you stopped. The incessant need you have to be close to her at all times, your essence bleeding on to her, suffocating her with everything she wants, but knows she can’t ever let herself dip into the deepest edges of you. 

Especially, not when you are still attempting to decode the wreckage of your last relationship. 

Abby hates seeing you like this, but she knew there was little she could do to help. All she could do is let you ride the wave of heartbreak, take in the silent tears hitting full cheeks, and hope it would all end soon for you. For now, she would allow immediate proximity.

You’re hurting. You need it.  

The first few weeks, even a couple months after, she expects it. Now it’s month four, and you were still touching her all the time. Lame excuses falling from your lips daily and Abby was sure you didn’t even believe them. She thought about bringing it up to you, establishing healthy boundaries before she crosses a line.

Yet, it feels…nice.

It felt good to be needed. The reason she had taken this job in the first place. It wasn’t what she had imagined for herself – a bodyguard of a famous musician. She jokes about it now, but it's a twisted fate for the two of you. Your eyes shine bright whenever someone asks, and you always take the lead.

Abby has always been more reserved, and your personality is as bright as the sun. She liked Abby the second she laid eyes on her. Not because she was beautiful or the most gorgeous human she’d ever seen.

Which she is.

No.

Her stupid pounding heart, the one she felt beating violently out of her chest, loves you, has no idea who she is.  She had thought possibly the blonde stranger was putting on a front, some did. They liked to conceal their intentions behind greedy eyes and malicious intent.

But Abby turned out to be different.

When a blossoming friendship turned into a job opportunity, it took Abby through a loop. It was the very last thing she was expecting from you. You’d kept her in the dark and when you announced exactly who you were, Abby really didn’t know. Never was she really a fan of social media, didn’t really partake in it unless someone was showing her the latest trend going around. She’s a little old fashioned but she likes it. It worked in her favor when it came to you. Unknowingly, for the first time since your fame struck as quick as lightning, you had the pleasure to befriend someone who had no idea who you were. 

As fresh as breathing your first breath of air, you took pride in the circumstance. Someone enjoying your company for who they are and not just for your social standing, fame, or most importantly the money. Before either of you could really even fully come to it, Abby has become such an influential person in your life, and then you were attempting to entice her with a job opportunity, and she accepted. 

You thought it would take longer and knew from the moment you had asked. But her life was uprooted by you, and she felt guilty about how much it fills her up with glee. 

In the last year, Abby became the only person worthy of your trust, the only one who would keep your confessions confined, not letting the secrets drip like cheap wine down the drain. Rather more as if she was out in the vineyard, carefully hand picking the grapes for the wine as she crafts it herself. Giving it the love, care, and attention it needs to flourish into fine beverage. From one sip alone, knowing she would crave for the taste. 

Getting to know you in ways some would dream of. Often, the mass of the public did, but you’re more selective who you let in your life now. Swiftly, you noticed how easily Abby listened. 

Listening and seeing you for who you are, not some strewed version the media made you out to be.  

She understood why you felt the need to and maybe why you felt comfortable with her. You spent time with her more than anyone. After two years together, she had learned every little detail about you. Where you liked to get your morning coffee, your favorite brunch spot, which bar you like to frequent when you had a night to give, which gym was your favorite, and to not speak with you until you’ve had said coffee. 

It’s these little things Abby remembers, constantly getting her in trouble.

When paparazzi are around, you always accept her hand as she guides you through the swarming crowd. Abby knows you despise it. How inhumane it makes you feel. You feel like an attraction, an object the masses had come to see rather than being viewed as an actual person. In these moments, you cling onto Abby the most. While she’s intimidating to all, there leaves a small exception for you, never has she once been anything to you more than just a sweet, gentle giant she wants close to her at all times. 

Her stature is standing a little over six feet tall. Her arms always looked too good against the tight fabric of her shirt. The one you grip onto as she is navigating through a crowd with you in tow, she’s always focused. The remainder of your team was behind you, while she was always in front of you.

At all times, protecting you.

But it was moments like today, you were grateful for. You blended with the hectic life of the city. You were just two people waiting at a crosswalk, waiting to get to your next destination.

Abby tries not to pay too much attention to how you’re squeezing her bicep, with a strong grip further indication you weren’t letting go anytime soon.

She supposes it’s better than feeling your hand in hers. There were times when Abby deemed it necessary. She would grab it whenever she needed to get you through from point a to point b, quickly. It made you follow her pace instead of lingering behind. She didn’t even know how she was supposed to feel with your head resting against her arm, your body so close to hers.

How was she supposed to act normally?

The rumors were already getting bad. You denied them when asked, and you did gracefully each time.

All Abby could think about if this moment was captured, it would be perceived as intimate. It felt like it was, but she didn’t want the entire world to see. Not when she felt the two of you walking this very nimble line of friends, something professional, and something more. She didn’t need thousands of eyes giving their two senses in a situation she didn’t even fully understand yet. All it took was one person to snap a photo if she gets too close to you. If her touch stayed on you for too long, or if she let the love reach her eyes. The ladder was the most difficult to control. It’s a part of her just as much as the air in her lungs.

This life is new to her. At times, Abby wondered if she’s biting off more than she could chew.

The only reason she’d left was for you. She had a small, quiet life. Abby’s life was very average, a cloud of normalcy hovered above her before the two of you met. A personal trainer full time and she resided in a cabin about half an hour from where she worked. She chopped wood to relieve stress, Her girlfriend liked it at the time, and she did too. She had her two dogs, and a darling kitten. 

She enjoyed the privacy. The isolated countryside her sweet family could reside in. Abby had built this life she was proud of, and it made her happy. For a time, it worked. She was genuinely content with where she was. There wasn’t a need to stress or control where her life was going. It felt like a huge relief. She tended to live inside her own head, not be present in what she has right in front her.

It had been months since she felt like that. It’d felt good and she was proud of herself for not succumbing from within and really coming to terms with what she had built around her. This was the most difficult route for her to take. To allow herself to be open, even if there was a chance of her falling.

Abby really should have felt remorseful for leaving it all behind.

Nora was sweet. The most caring partner she ever had, but there wasn’t much she could compare it to. Besides her, there had only been two, and she didn’t even count Owen. A long misstep until she landed where she needed to be. He did care for her, and he seemed to be more kind-hearted than most men, but the bar was set so low, he should’ve exceeded expectations.

And he did, in some areas.

Others, he fell more than flat but there was little to nothing he could do about it. Abby likes girls and he wasn’t one. Her sexuality shattered their relationship into a million pieces – leaving neither of them any option but to move on.

Nora felt real. This genuine connection she’d never experienced before. Abby knew it one year into their relationship. The pair had built this life together, one where she didn’t feel trapped in, and one Abby could be proud of. She felt acknowledged and loved Nora. There wasn’t a sliver of a doubt in her mind this where she needed to be.

She tells Nora when she needs space, and she isn’t ashamed of it. If she didn’t want to go out, Nora wouldn’t guilt trip her into it. Abby didn’t feel pressured to intertwine her identity with Nora just because they were together. Nora hardly ever gave Abby a reason to be upset. She showed up like partners were supposed to, even when Abby didn’t.

But it was a heavy weight to carry for Nora. Being her first serious queer relationship, Abby was left stunted in areas where Nora had to lend a helping hand. She never made Abby feel bad about it, but the two of them could feel the string keeping them threatening to snap.

Often, it frustrated Abby. To always be the one receiving help and never giving it. She didn't blame her partner, but she was left at a crossroad. 

She never understood Owen more and it really pissed her off.

To no fucking end.

But Nora was far more patient than Abby had ever shown. Maybe it was the testament to love or maybe Nora was just a good person and Abby is shitty. She had more patience than Mother Thersea herself, and it amazed her. Always guiding Abby with a gentle hand, never getting upset with her even when she let her anger shine through.

It makes her feel undeserving of a love she could never earn.

This pure and untainted love had never touched her before, and she’d never fallen this hard. Abby didn’t want to be anywhere but here. She really thought this could be it. Nora could be the one. They could get through those hardships together, right? 

Then you came and overwhelmed her like a tsunami.

She was running late, which was completely out of the ordinary for Abby. Instead of her neat braid, her sun kissed-blonde hair was in a low bun. Underneath her eyes was evidence of her lack of sleep. She hadn’t been getting any as of lately and the bags only seemed to get deeper.

Abby wouldn’t call the fights constant, but it sure did feel like it.

The back and forth, having the same fight consistently. Abby was more than frustrated. The biggest efforts she made were dismissed by Nora, even making her upset at times. She was trying too hard and being annoying, or not doing enough and then it meant she wasn’t present in the relationship.

Abby felt her stuck at a wall, Nora on the other side of it and she couldn’t hear a damn thing.

So, she was running late.

One of the many fights  they’ve had with each other as of late. Nora is tired of dealing with a “baby gay” as she likes to remind her in the heat of their arguments. Abby gets offended, her lips forming into an even deeper pout, her porcelain skin flushed in anger before she gives them both space. 

Contemplating about the future of their relationship in the shower, causing her to be late to work in the process. 

Astronomically behind – her client arrived at the gym she worked at half an hour ago. The most recent argument with Nora plagued her morning. All they seem to do is argue, trapped in what they both need from the relationship, but all the two of them could do is argue, argue, argue.

But neither of them makes a move. They are still as the eerie silence that carries them into questioning. 

It’s when she’s too inside her head, fearing about the future, when she violently bumps into you. Body colliding with yours, Abby’s stone-like build causes you to crash into the pavement, your belongings scatter along with Abby’s. 

“Fuck. Are you alright? Sorry, I’m in such a hurry, I’m sure I wasn’t even paying attention.” You let her pick you from the ground, she does with ease. She looks right through you and you expect the excitement, the excited tears, or to be asked for a picture but it never comes.   

“For a moment I thought I ran into a wall—” You giggle to yourself. “Really, I’m alright.” You spoke softly. You pick up both of your belongings that had slipped from both of your grips, returning it to its owner. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Abby asks again. 

You think it’s cute how much lace of concern is conveyed in her cerulean eyes, full of light and wonder, so beautiful it stops you in your tracks. 

“No no! I’m fine! Really don’t worry about it.” 

Honestly, you’re still in amazement she has no idea who you are. It makes your fondness of her grow even more. The two of you depart quickly, go about your day, and you think nothing of it until you go to unlock your phone to message your manager and it’s not a picture of the moon you’d taken during the eclipse, it’s the mysteriously hot and kind woman you’d run into before. 

Shit. She has my phone. 

Lucky for you, Abby was coming to the same realization. Ready to bring out the workout she had planned out for her first client, opening her phone to access where she had written everything out only to find this isn’t her phone. Well, fuck. 

Abby hollers at Dina to take over the client for a moment, excusing herself for a moment before retreating into the office to call from her direct line. 

Idiot Anderson. Now you get to make an idiot of yourself, twice. 

Way to go. 

She calls her phone and it rings a few times before the familiar voice chimes through the speaker, the one she heard this morning during her fit of anxiety. 

“Please tell me this is the woman I ran into earlier or else I’m going to be even more embarrassed for answering a stranger's phone.” 

“Well you’re in luck.” 

“Oh thank fuck—” You curse yourself before being so vulgar with someone who you didn’t even know. “Sorry! God, this is all my fault. I must have swapped our phones when I picked them up and didn’t even realize.” 

“It’s okay, really, if I was paying attention where I was walking this morning it never would have happened. Did you wanna meet?” 

“No! Let me. Please, this is all my fault. I should at least be the one who makes the drive.” 

“Are you sure? It’s really no trouble. I don’t mind.” 

“I’m really sure.” 

Abby offers the address of work, thinking once after she does if it’s a good idea, a total stranger knowing where she works but she’s already giving the street name and suite number before she can even make her mind. Abby usually doesn’t get nervous but this situation has sent her into a frenzy, thinking about how dumb she could have been. Nora will get a good laugh out of it she thinks, then she is reminded of the fight the two of them were still in. She wonders if she’s even tried to reach out to her yet or if Nora’s just waiting until Abby’s anger rolls over. 

More favorably, the ladder. 

Until the two of them have the comfort of their lives, the cushion they have between their shared friends and the home they share twenty minutes out of the state, until it comes up again and they’ll be contemplating it all over again. Anxiously, the front desk girl, Bevs, the younger girl who has a crush on her, shyly comes up to her. 

Bevs says what she assumes is your name, confusing Abby in the process. 

“You know her?” 

“How could you not? She’s one of the most famous actresses ever.” Abby is stunned to say the least. Truthfully, she had no idea. Her lack of social media keeps her out of the loop and as much as her friends tease her about, if Abby knew who you were the first time around, she’s sure she wouldn’t have been able to say more than two words. Clearly, you’re a fresh face to her. Already, Abby knows Manny is going to have a field day when Bevs lets this information spill in her sheer excitement. 

Great, she thinks. 

“Oh.” 

“I put her in your office. Some of the clients were already starting to have questioning looks, putting the pieces together. Hey! Maybe they're as clueless as you.” 

“Bevs, go back to the front desk.” With a curt nod and realizing she has pushed too far, with a tail between her legs she retreats back to her post. 

Okay, Anderson, let’s get this over with. 

Abby smells you the minute she steps foot in her office. It’s not the usual pinewood scent the candle in her office radiates. There’s a lingering smell of lavender with just a hit of vanilla. It’s sweet as it engulfs her nostrils, she finds herself sniffling slightly, a silent beg for more of it. You’re standing the minute you’re aware of her presence. Painfully, Abby is aware of her lack of clothing. The tight sport jacket is left unopened, her black sweatpants, accompanied with her sports bra, abs on display as she watches your eyes examine her carefully. 

She’s not sure how to feel about it. 

There is a moment, a short one where your eyes go to her chest, the silver barbells constricting against the small fabric, clear as to what lies beneath. 

Abby does smirk at that. She’s only human. 

You keep staring at her for a minute longer, well it feels like one but Abby deems it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” 

“It’s really not a problem.” The more time goes on, the sweeter you are. “It’s pretty close to where I live.” 

Abby didn’t know it then but you were lying straight through your teeth. The trainer didn’t know you moved around your entire day to make the phone swap or the butterflies swarming your stomach from just how attractive and nice she seemed to be. There was something about her that sent your caution flying to the wind, drifting in the leaves with the rest of your pride. 

“Well I appreciate you coming out this way, even if it’s in your area. I really wouldn’t have minded taking the drive.” Abby pulls out your phone as she hands you yours. It’s simple, transactional, and it should have just been left at that but you had a fondness of putting your foot in your mouth. 

“Are you a trainer here?” 

“Uh, yeah. Been doing it for a few years actually. I spent so much time here already, now I get paid for it. Can’t really complain.” 

“Do you ever do private sessions?” 

“Um-” Abby scratches the back of her awkwardly, not sure if you’re asking her genuinely or if you’re trying to insinuate something else entirely. 

“Oh fuck no! I didn’t mean it like that. I just have a….job opportunity I have to get in shape for and you just look like you know what you’re doing.” Abby thought you might as well point to her physique but if anything she was flattered. It was always nice knowing something she’s been working on for years, her longest standing commitment besides Nora, is appreciated. 

“Sure, we could work something out.” You slightly smile before you exchange phones, this time on purpose, to put in the other’s number. Normally, she didn’t give out her number to clients, but Abby makes an exception for you that day. To this day, she’ll never outwardly admit why she did, not even to herself. 

- 

Two years later, she’s single from her life being turned upside down by you. The casualty being her own relationship, leaving Nora behind was one of the hardest decisions she’s made. Nora never agreed on Abby taking the job. As much as Nora wished for Abby to be more open about their endeavors, as soon as she accepted an offer that could drastically expand the trajectory of their life, Nora couldn’t be asked to compromise another thing. 

That was that. Not even two months into Abby working for you and Nora had called it quits. Abby never talked about it, only you knew she had a girlfriend she used to talk about when you began training with her, and then it was just silent. Back then, you didn’t know her well enough to pry, so you didn’t. 

Even as time passed, the two of you became friends through your employment, spending all your time with her during press season for your upcoming film, Lonely Is The Muse, together. Today was the only day you had off, even if it means Abby technically had the day off, you insisted that both of you leave the hotel and go out for the day. It's the most peace you felt during the European leg of the tour. Only one more day of dealing with your sensory issues, people in your face telling you when and where to go, or the distasteful question regarding your past public breakup instead of the work you were promoting. 

Some interviewers were kind enough to let the drama go but some wanted to get their own viral moment, waiting for you to say the wrong thing. As the industry likes to say, any publicity is good publicity. 

When you’re America's sweetheart actress of the century, such luxuries can’t be afforded. 

As your manager likes to remind you, there’s a reputation you have to protect. 

“Would you like to head back now? Long day tomorrow. Last day of interviews and then your flight leaves first thing in the morning.” 

“Did Stassie put you up to this?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I thought you were supposed to be the fun one.” 

“Mhm, your definition of fun is letting you do whatever you want.” 

“And the problem with that is?” 

All Abby can do is chuckle. 

“What do you want to do then?” Abby asks. She takes note of the sparkle in your eyes, as blinding as the sun but obtaining the serenity of the moon. “I’m all ears sweetheart.” 

It’s how the two of you end up here, a rooftop party, a friend of a friend you said. The party was lowkey, more than the typical ones you would get invited. Maybe because you weren’t in Los Angeles, Miami, or New York — but tucked away on another continent — or perhaps everyone here is just discreet. 

There’s only two fans that come up to you instead of twenty. You’re thankful for some sense of normalcy, one night where you can just feel normal. It still never gets old, people coming up to you as they confess the impact you’ve had on their life. It feels unbelievable at times but you’re grateful for the luxury life you’ve been granted. 

“Here. No liquor tonight.” Abby hands you a glass of red wine, your favorite beverage of choice when you couldn’t have tequila. 

“Yes Ma’am.” You playfully salute her. More than anything, you enjoy the not so subtle chuckle. “Not that I don’t love your company but isn’t Stassie supposed to boss me around?” 

“She felt under the weather. Plus, we both know you don’t listen to her.” 

“And I listen to you?” Your hand plays with her loose blonde hair, smoothing out the white button she’s wearing. 

“Yeah, you do. I wonder why that is.” Abby is playing with fire tonight. Possibly due to the fact that you wouldn’t leave her side, not even for a moment, keeping your body close, practically gluing yourself to her. Yes, she’s charged with keeping you safe and protected but it seems you find enjoyment bringing it to another level entirely. 

“You’re much nicer to look at, that’s all.” It’s light, a quiet whisper, not meant to be heard by anyone — not even for Abby to hear. “Don’t wanna make my handsome bodyguard upset.” 

Faking your pout as you let the words leave your lips, Abby chuckles as you get closer to her, her body standing strong as you push your weight onto her. Stoic as always, while you lean on her, she keeps her eyes peeled. Ensuring your safety at all times. 

“Flattery isn’t going to get you a shot tonight.” 

“I’m just stating the obvious.” 

Abby chuckles, again. She’s delighted you’re enjoying yourself, even if it comes at her expense. There’s a soft jazz song playing outside, couples dancing to the music, you zone out for a moment as you look upon one in particular. 

They are older, possibly in their forties, raven hair beginning to gray, fine lines crinkle when they smile at each other but it’s hard to take note of anything else but the way the couple looks at each other. Your mind wonders how long they’ve been together, if it’s been for years, months, a couple weeks. 

It doesn’t really matter. You just want that. 

The feeling isn’t lost on you, especially when you’re in the arms of the woman you love. For her, she’s being protective, doing her job but you wish it was different. A bubbling desire dripping off your tongue, a need to have her close to you but because she wants. Not because she’s paid to. 

“If I can’t have any tequila shots, god forbid, you have to dance with me.” You down the rest of your wine, placing the empty glass on the bar. “C’mon, you can give Stassie an earful later.” 

Pulling her towards the makeshift dance floor, Abby leads as your head rests against her chest. The steady, soft heartbeat soothes you, a reminder of the safety you feel with her. Caught in the riptide of her kind eyes and heart full of gold. It’s what makes her so unique, so loved, so her. With a surprisingly good tone, Abby sings to the music softly before twirling you around and spinning your body back to her. 

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Your hand rubs lovingly on her lower back as she holds you in her arms. You take pride when it doesn’t feel transactional. When she holds you and it feels as if she was meant to. There’s nothing else comparable to it, her frame melting into yours as your soul finds solace in her warm embrace. 

“There’s plenty of things.” Playfully, Abby smirks. 

“Oh yeah. I’m sure.” 

The sarcasm practically drips out of you as her smirk grows wider. 

“Can I ask you something?” You hesitate for a moment as you find her beautiful blue eyes staring into your soul. It’s only then does everything troubling might dissipate while she holds you — secretly hoping it’s forever. 

“You can ask me anything.” 

You give yourself a moment to collect your thoughts as you move to the delicate beat. “Do you ever wish for a life where you could have had a normal life? I wonder if things could be different.” 

Immediately, Abby answers. 

“Not anymore, no, not for a second.” 

If it was even possible, Abby pulls you closer to her, not urging a word more. It’s how she is, cold and distant to some but they don’t feel the stutter in her breath when you’re near or the soft pad of her thumb rubbing soothingly on the back of your hand. Or the soft words of encouragement when you’re having a difficult day. 

They hear none of it. 

She dances with you for a couple more songs, before you find solace on the couch. You lay beneath the moonlight, your body cuddles into her side as you stare up at the sky. 

It’s lost on you how you’ve ended  with her, someone as kind and untainted as her, wanting to spend her free time with you, but you’re grateful for it. Whatever god you have to thank, you’ll get on your knees to praise their alter for bringing Abby into your life. She’s the best thing to ever happen to you and she doesn’t even know it. Albeit, she hardly knows the extent of how wonderful she is. 

“Why here?” 

“It’s a good night, nice weather. Why not?” 

A question with a question. It’s the most straightforward answer you’ll ever give her. Innuendos for the sweet girl to piece together, but with the soft circles being drawn her stomach with the pad of your finger leaves little to nothing to decode. 

“It’s nice, yeah.” 

Abby always has so little to say but her mind swarms with a thousand reasons why this is a bad idea and a million of why this is where the constellations in the jaded sky have led to you. Straight into the pits of innocence, a heart that’s been hurt more times than she can count but still as golden and whole as one could be. 

“What do you think of Italy?” 

“It’s nice.” 

“Nice? That’s all I get?” 

Abby smirks but her body stills when you play with the waistband of her trousers before gliding back to the security of her abdomen, carving the liner of her defined abs. The ones she tries so hard to cover up, but you saw on the very first day you met her. 

“Do you want more?” You ask, an eyebrow raising in suggestion. Abby knows it’s a double edged sword, one she doesn’t want to be injured with. 

“You’re playing a very dangerous game.” Cautiously, Abby warns. “I’m not sure that last drink was a great idea.” 

You rest your head on her sternum, sapphire eyes looking down at you as her hand finds home on your waist, the blunt of your nails scratching softly at her stomach. 

“They always seem like a great idea at the time, don’t they?” With a gentle hand, you caress her scarred cheek, the pad of your thumb gently tenderly kissing the freckled skin. Outlining the softness of her jaw with your left, while your right one refuses to leave her stomach. 

“I don’t see how anyone would ever want to leave you.” Abby hums, not giving you much to go off of, tight lipped as she’s always been. The Nora situation has always been on your mind. One day, Abby’s speaking of her like she’s the love of her life and the next? Abby stiffens so tight when you bring up her name you promise yourself to never speak of it again. Until now, almost two years later, you’re more curious than you have ever been. The fatal ending, not belonging to you, but still you paw for the answers with your greedy palms. 

“You can just ask me if you want to know. I can see the look in your eyes.” 

“What look? I don’t have a—” 

Abby tilts your chin with your palm, leaning into her touch as you often do. 

“Yes, you do.” 

“How do you know this look?” 

“Hm.” Her thumb pulls at your bottom lip, “You’re just trying to get me in trouble now.” 

Your tone shifts, your eyes become transcendent, more crystal clear than they’d been all night. 

“What happened between you and Nora?” You ask, treading lightly on the ground you’re skating upon, in fear the ground beneath you might just crack if you apply too much pressure. 

“Why is it so important to you?” 

“It’s not that it’s—” You face plant into her chest, giving yourself a moment to breathe. Fuck, even her chest smells good. 

“You don’t ask about anything unless it’s of value to anyone. You don’t waste time, you’re very adamant about it. Painfully so.” Blonde eyebrows relax as she closes her eyes for a moment, but her touch on you soothes you. It’s gentle; a somber comfort bleeding into blissful joy. 

“But I’ve spent a lot of time with you.” 

“Yes, you’ve spent a lot of your time with me.

Abby opens her eyes to see you, your head tilted to the right, as you look upon each carve of her angelic face, the one that could only be carved by the gods above, resembling an angel on earth. As pure as the snow with the biggest heart of gold you ever have had the pleasure of knowing. 

“What?” 

“I didn’t say a thing.” You smile slyly. 

“We didn’t break up because of you, if that’s what you’re asking.” Abby sighs, “You’re not some homewrecker. My home with Nora was already wrecked before we met.” 

“Are you just saying it to make me feel better?” 

“No, I’m not.” You play with the ends of her golden hair, it hurts to be this close to what you want but knowing it’s so clearly out of your reach, league even, all of it will end the same. “Nora wasn’t fond of her being my first relationship with a woman. It caused a ripple effect, me feeling like I wasn’t good enough and her feeling like she has to carry me in the relationship, emotionally anyway.” 

“Is that why you broke up?” 

“No.” 

“It was because of me.” You state, as a matter of fact, knowing there is no other truth to be known. With tears welling up in your eyes, an ache  in your heart, one that made you ache all over. The dread of the guilt weighing heavily on your heart, time and distance still isn’t enough for you to run from it. 

“It was a job that was a great opportunity. Alright? It wasn’t you, even if I hadn’t, we both wanted different things. I didn’t even realize it until after but I wasn’t happy. I promise, it has nothing to do with you.” 

What Abby didn’t know, you needed to hear her say those words. In the back of your head, a monstrous demon unleashes in your mind, telling you crashed her relationship. You were the problem and her inevitable doom, but she’s assuring you it wasn’t the case. 

“We hardly knew each other back then.” 

As pathetic as it sounds, Abby can’t imagine her life without you. 

“Yeah hardly.” 

There’s that look again, pouring into Abby’s soul as it eats her up whole, the gleam in your eyes begging for more. It’ll complicate things if Abby gets involved, she knows this, but it already seems like she is despite her best efforts not to be. 

“Did I do good? You always say you miss stargazing with your brother back home. I know it’s not as quiet as the cabin you have, but I thought it would be okay for now.” 

“The view isn’t bad, not one bit.” She admits as she lets you rub her abdomen, the goosebumps crawling upon her skin the more Abby lets you touch her as if she’s yours to hold. “Lev would like it. I’m convinced the kid likes you more than me now.” 

“As he should. I’m pretty damn amazing.” 

“He asks too many questions though.” 

“About what?” 

“I dunno…..things.” Abby retreats back into her shell, the layer of protection she uses to protect herself from getting hurt. Most of all, out of everyone the gods could torture her to be confused about, of course it has to be you. Everyone in your life is always begging for pieces of your time, pieces of your affection and bits of your time to suck you dry. Abby has always wondered how you juggle it all. It feels cruel to even think you would put her in the mix. 

Painfully, there’s nights like tonight, where she sees the desire swarming in your eyes — every part of her pleads to give in to the temptation. Give into something she’s never even let herself think about until the last few months. As thick as drywall, there was a barrier keeping her heart from you, one she kept to protect you and herself even. 

The absolute last thing she wanted was to wreck everything this has to offer. If she makes the wrong move, all of it can come crashing down on you…it’s the last thing she wants. Make you a martyr in her story, one she thinks and dreams of often but knows you’re too big for her to exist in your life. The circles you run in don’t even exist in the same planet, the same fucking universe if Abby’s being honest. 

“What things?” You pout, your hand traveling south, caressing her thigh with a familiarity Abby wishes you didn’t have. She wishes for a lot but they never come true, that’s all you can be, a dying wish Abby curses upon a fading star.  

“It’s just stupid shit, not worth mentioning.” 

“Abby…” 

“Yeah?” 

“I—” You take a deep breath, your voice already shaky and you haven’t even told her yet. “I don’t think you even know how much you mean to me.” Abby isn’t sure where you’re going with this, terrifying her instantly. 

Have you finally had your fill of her? Were you gonna fire her? Now? 

“Lev doesn’t just talk to you about us.” 

“Us?” Nervously, Abby stomach clenches, unprepared for where this conversation is heading. 

“Why are you so scared?” 

Abby visibly and loudly gulps, almost making you giggle slightly. 

“I-I’m not.” 

The stonewall she attempts to hide behind but you won’t let her, not tonight. Slumping in the shadows, waiting for you to find someone else to love as she watches your happiness from a far, that’s what she allows herself. Nothing more and nothing less. 

“Abs, look at me.” She meets your eyes, away from the constellations in the sky, afraid if she looks for a moment too long she’ll be stuck here forever. “Talk to me, m’right here, not going anywhere unless you want me to.” 

Instantly, Abby grips your hips, keeping you in your place. 

“No, that’s not—” 

“What?” 

“I’m not what you want. I’m surely not what anyone needs. Hell, I’ve only been with one woman which is deemed to be for not being enough, right? I’m the girl who came out too late, who doesn’t have enough experience but because I’m built like some fucking adonis I need to know whatever the fuck I’m doing but I don’t. I never know what I’m doing. The only thing I know how to do is protect you, that’s all I’m good for and I’m not gonna screw that up just because I—” 

“Because what?” Your pelvis is on top of hers, your face coming closer to Abby’s, watching as you are irrevocably close to her, closer than you’ve ever been, wet lips ghosting over her pouty pink lips. Abby doesn’t even know when you moved, how you got so close, too lost in her own head to register your movements. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Abby puffs out. 

“It matters to me.” You sink into her, further, if it's even possible. “No one matters more than you, alright?” 

“But there’s people.” Abby looks for an excuse to get up, she comes up enough so she’s sitting up against the armrest of the patio couch, holding your lower back as she does so, leaving you straddling her hips. 

“I don’t care. All that matters is you.” You push a piece of blonde hair away, seeing her beautiful cheeks more clearly, her shining blue eyes finding its unique path to your heart, the one especially made for her. “Here just let me talk, alright? You don’t have to say anything. Just listen.” 

Abby is nearly crying, practically purring as you run your fingers through her cascading blonde hair. It’s too much but not enough. Although she is sure of one thing, the one thing she wants more than anything. 

“I’ve always been one for pretty girls. I had a reputation around Hollywood, always chasing one after the next, never reaching my fill or as the tabloids like to say.” You chuckled half-heartedly; the wound cutting deeper than you would have liked. “My publicist having to pay paparazzi an obscene amount of money to get these photos from ever hitting online, month after month, it was pathetic really. Just trying to fill a hole, one I didn’t even know how to fill.” 

“I didn’t know that.” 

“It’s not something I’m proud of and I never wanted you to see me differently but I’m not ashamed anymore though. I’m not that person anymore. I haven’t been since I met you.” Abby falls silent, her cheeks turning crimson before she can try to hide it “You not knowing how I was, it's just the humbling I needed. Not to mention you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen— you still are— but you had a girlfriend so I kept my feelings silent. Something just felt different with you and then you were single and I was afraid of you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I didn’t want to ruin you so I made a promise to myself. I would never start anything with you, not unless I was in love with you.” 

“You love me?” 

“It’s impossible not to.” You sigh into her, forehead pressed against hers, her strong hold not letting go. “You don’t have to say anything or do anything. I don’t expect anything in return. I just can’t live in a world where you think because you’re not experienced as some, you think you’re less than people who are.” 

“It’s true, I’m not there with everyone else and it shows.” 

“Abby, you’re not getting it.” 

“Well, no shit. I’m not good enough for any of this, you especially.” 

“It’s not…” You bite your lip as you reach for her hands on your waist, intertwining them with your own. “Abs, it would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.” Your lips ghost over her lips again, but this time Abby inches closer, her breath warm as it hits your mouth. 

“What?” 

“If I was a patient person and waited for you.” 

More than before, Abby’s breath is heavy as the rise and fall of her chest is rapid, trying to calm herself down but it’s impossible when you’re this close. It’s a lot for her, maybe she’s overly sensitive, but your touch is practically lighting her on fire. Abby wonders if it will ever be able to be put out or if your magnetic touch will leave her scorned. 

Puppy eyes inwardly pleading for an ounce of your touch, so sweet as she supports your weight with her strong thighs, anchoring you to her — never quite letting go. A single glance detrimental to the layer of protection she built around herself. 

“There’s no more waiting, m’right here.” Abby closes the gap indefinitely, lips connecting with yours as they move in perfect harmony, as if this is what she was made for. Involuntarily, she whimpers in your mouth as you gently tug at her bottom nibble at her bottom lip, your tongue sliding in as it dominates her own. It happens too quickly — the way her very being melts into you. 

Like honey to a bee, there’s nothing that’s ever been so sweet. 

This is all you need. 

“Abby?” 

“Yeah, angel?” 

“Let’s get out of here.”

[whoyacallinyellow]

Borrowed Time hurt me a lot omg- Now I offer you even more angst.

It's sad that Javier became the very thing in 1911 that he swore to destroy (working as a hitman for a tyrant government) but it would be even sadder if (as a part 2 ig of borrowed time) Javier and his love meet again but this time, he was there to arrest her and bring her to town to hang.

Borrowed Time II

Javier Escuella x F! reader

Spoilers: major RDR1-2 events Content: 18+, low honor Javier, angst, betrayal, loyalty, dramatic, possessive, referenced/implied sex, canon typical events & violence, possible unintentional spelling mistakes, google translated Spanish Type: I-II changed to second pov (wc - 4133) / pc: pinterest a/n: i can feel this request in my veins, so here’s my mediocre yapping! live, laugh, angst 

Summary: Following the events of Beaver Hollow and your departure, Javier falls into work with Allende. After your reunion he reflects on his time with you, to only turn you in by nightfall. 

It was a warm day in New Austin, the orange rays blanketing the barren dirt landscape, and not a cloud in the sky. Javier only imagined finding himself wandering these lands again, but yet he returned on what seemed to be borrowed time.

A few years had passed since he last saw you at Beaver Hollow. The man could not bear to show his face, the embarrassment of being wrong about Dutch was an ego check it say the very least. 

Yet your note lived in the far corner of his mind, a small cabin just north of MacFarlane's Ranch from his understanding. 

It did not take the man long to find it, local cowpokes cowered at the sight of the large Mexican outlaw sitting upon an even larger steed, interrogating them about a maiden. It was almost as if the best pieces of you resembled him, immediately reminding the folk of who it was he was searching for. 

Boaz grunted against Javier’s spurs, digging deep into the loose red dirt below. The sunbeams which crept through the dry pine trees created quite the atmosphere, allowing Javier to get lost in his head, even if it were just for a few moments of bliss. 

Despite the directions given to him, Javier hoped you had moved on after all these years, fled somewhere safer, started a new life, perhaps changed your name as well. Somewhere he would never find you. 

Boaz continued to race down the winding path, feeding Javier’s anticipation against the warm breeze. As it gusted past the side of his head, loose strands from his tied hair tickled his ears, merely reminding the man how badly he needed a haircut. 

The starving grass which bordered West Elizabeth held a yellow tinge, the land rolled and waved, flourishing with birds and wildlife. Javier reckoned he has not been to the area before, but you were not lying about how appealing it was— a perfect home for you two. 

Upon whipping around the corner, abruptly revealed a small cabin with songbirds singing to him in the trees. The place was quiet, cozy, and seemingly inhabited, with small smoke stacks exhausting from the brick chimney. 

Bringing Boaz to a halt, there was no sign of you— but sure enough a big black cloud skulked in the nearby pen, following you wherever you wandered like a burden. 

Javier stiffly slid off Boaz, his knees nearly giving out from under him as his boots crunched onto the dirt. The beast was grazing on hay as he approached the fence post 

After whistling and calling your shire a few times, Javier was promptly ignored, perhaps the slow and ominous brute heard the man call him el diablo one too many times. 

He was still a strong believer the only reason the horse broke for you was out of pity— you looked like a child struggling to climb him every endeavor. Maybe the beast had a soft spot for you, just like himself. 

But now the old shire was relieved from his saddle, serenading in the New Austin sun, not bothered to obey the envious man’s command. 

Javier leaned against the corral post, admiring what he could have had with you, the thought of being a family man loomed over his shoulders and displayed no signs of leaving. 

You and Javier ran together prior to joining Dutch, less for money and more for survival. Your past crimes covered bounty boards and train stations as a permanent reminder, never forgetting the wrongs that were written. That price only increased once Mexico inevitably caught wind of all the messy jobs in neighboring lands. 

He drowned and you sank with him, the price of his sins were bricks added to your back. Being his accessory, the government saw you as a pawn, smart and knowledgeable, if caught— Javier would come for you, and they would be ready for him. 

Those days were nearly from another lifetime. 

Now under Allende’s ruling fist, he offered him a twisted plea deal of sorts; protection at the cost of something the man held more dearly than life itself—you. Your capture was not about the money nor status, but simply a test of his loyalty to Allende; if Javier did this job, he’d do anything. 

The poor man’s convoluted loyalty never got him far, proving time and time again, leading him only to dead ends and false hopes. Charismatic attributes and big promises was something Javier foolishly gave everything to with a blind eye, something you always warned him about.  

“Javier?—“ 

Your voice could have made him leap out of his own skin. As he hesitantly turned towards you, his gut twisted into something mean. You were beautiful as ever, after all these years you waited for him— just like you promised. 

“Never thought I’d see you again, especially in the west.” You spoke again in disbelief, rag wiping your hands clean of a job he should have been doing. 

Your voice only lived in his memories, hearing it again nearly whipped Javier back into shape, feeling sick for your puppy love he desperately relied on so long ago. 

“Home sweet home.” The man swallowed dryly, throwing his arms out awkwardly and gesturing towards the open lands around you both. 

Before his thoughts could catch up to the moment, you ran to embrace him, flinging yourself into his arms with a long awaited kiss. Javier grunted softly against your lips, staggering back to support you, the extra attention only reminding him how saddle sore he really was.  

Just for a moment things felt normal, a feeling he was searching for since you split. He had a place in this cruel world once again, everywhere had a price on his head, no place to retreat to besides you— you were home. 

Perhaps he could head tail between his legs back to Allende, saying you disappeared. 

Maybe he could take you to Canada, or a tropical island— oh, anywhere but Guarma. 

We must leave,

Javier’s unsaid words pricked beneath his skin, prodding relentlessly at his deepest desires for redemption. 

“Oh—amor.” 

Was all the man could choke out, the words exiting pitiful and weak, a near cry for help you assumed was just your bittersweet reunion. 

Leaning away you smiled coyly at him, admiring your lost cowboy;

Your time apart was not easy on Javier, his hardened stare and the chip on his shoulder now set in stone. 

The constant blazing sun of Mexico, along with surviving off rationed canned beans really took a toll on the man. His face was dull and lacking the usual pigment he wore so handsomely when Mr. Pearson cooked for everyone. 

Javier’s newfound demeanor only put emphasis on his sharp brows peeking from under his bowler cap brim, residing above dark cunning eyes, ready to match any cowpuncher who dared challenge him. 

Over Javier’s shoulder was where his mount rested, hoove digging into the dirt at the end of the cabin’s path. 

“—and Boaz?” You began after a shared silence, slowly approaching the overworked horse. 

“Still kickin’.” He uttered gently, a large hand scratching the back of his neck. 

Boaz never really liked you, or anyone besides Javier that is. It wasn’t until the gang hunkered down in Colter for the stubborn bastard to take a liking to you. 

The weather and unpredictable circumstances was not easy on the gang, including the horses, causing rations to be small among the mounts. 

You always carried treats in your satchel to gain Boaz’s affection, and your efforts would eventually succeed in Colter. You would secretly slip him sugar cubes every time you left the shack, he must have appreciated the extra attention. Javier barely recognized Boaz trotting up to him in the snow, you mounted on top wearing a proud grin. 

You wore a similar grin now, full of satisfaction and pride that he returned to you— with warmth flowing through him, his heart rapidly thumped in his ears, all the pent up feelings for you were reopening like floodgates. 

“What’a nice feller, huh.” You cooed to the mount after a slow approach. 

Showing no distress Boaz allowed your kind pats and rubs. Tenderly nudging you, the horse’s chops tried sneaking its way into your pockets, searching for the snacks you usually held after a long journey. 

“Ai, fácil!” 

Javier exclaimed, quickly guiding Boaz’s large snout away, the loving gestures nearly toppling you over. 

“Guess I’m glad he still remembers me.” You beamed, tipping your hat lower to shield yourself from the beating sun. 

“Or perhaps your donations, amor.” Javier quipped softly, his eyes wandering meekly. 

Something besides time passing seemed different about him, you could not quite pinpoint it. Javier was always a timid man at first when it came to his lover, maybe your time apart presented this old side of him. 

You knelt slightly, peeking under his sunken head which hung towards the ground. 

“Javier? You don’t look so good.” 

Your soft words managed to dig their way through his ringing ears, the man squinted his eyes tightly before swiping his lids with rough fingers. 

“Uh— maybe you oughta sit for a bit, I think you’re overdressed for this heat.” 

Your words broke through once again, giving a small tug on his poncho, his disoriented vision cluttered with black floating spots as you guided towards the porch. 

As his vision continued to warp, the cabin doubled and skewed while you put him in the shade. 

Javier knew you were speaking, your voice fading in and out irreguarly, piercing his ears every so often. 

The words felt like they were being consumed by the ocean, his head bobbed up and down as if he were drowning. All he could think about was Dutch’s screams over the storm and waves, as he was about to be consumed by the large void. 

But Dutch snagged him before being swept away, yanking him upon the tiny rowboat that threatened to tip from the added stress. Javier’s senses were waterlogged, rejecting the mean salty water from his lungs. As he gasped for air; the only thing he thought of was you. 

“S’alright, son, You’re not dying today!” Was the first thing he heard. He faded in and out of consciousness as Dutch beat the sea water out of him, his ribcage rattling under each and every smack. 

Javier sometimes wonders if Dutch should have just let him die, abandon him and allow the dark waters to engulf him whole, repaying his sins to his maker. Maybe his death would free you of your burdens. 

He felt like his time had withered before Dutch had saved him anyways. Being a prisoner in Guarma is what convinced him that he would never make it back to you, sealing the deal. Your previous words borrowed time scratched at his skin again, yearning to be acknowledged. 

“Ah well, I knew you’d come crawling back, you’re here for a reason.” You would always say to him after a particularly dangerous run with the gang. He would dismiss you with a mumble and a kiss, but always knew he was lucky to be alive as more of his brothers began to fall. 

Sometimes he would catch you talking to a disgruntled Arthur as he packed his horse. 

Upon inquiring about your words, Arthur being a somewhat vague man would shortly grumble; 

“Jus’ focus on the job, and returnin’ to your woman, Javier.” 

—and he always did. Javier knew you did not worry about him much, at least outwardly. But he did notice Arthur’s presence whenever trouble presented itself. 

~

“Javier— some water.” 

Your words along with a canteen dangled in front of him, the prior hallucination of a watery grave was almost enough to empty his stomach. 

Javier stared back towards your shire lounging in his corral, his mind once again wandering back to the life he could have had with you. 

In the midst of his tunneling vision, a lean coyote lingered through his gaze, stalking towards him, icy eyes sending daggers into his before diminishing. 

“Javier. Say something.” Your words were now much clearer to him, breaking through his consciousness, the ringing disappeared from his mind fog. 

“‘M alright.” He muttered, spitting out the bitter taste from his mouth. 

“I reckon you oughta take it easy, being an old man n’ all now.”

Javier frowned at you and blinked a couple times, jaw agape, processing the pun you made at his dismay. 

“Ha— so sorry, chica, ‘suppose I’m no longer the young buck you remember.” 

He replied sarcastically, his voice both bold and hoarse as he raised back to his feet, every step whining for rest. 

“Ride with me?” Javier suddenly asked as if nothing happened. It took you by surprise, he had just arrived after all. 

“Alright.” You obliged shortly after a pause. “Let me grab my belt.” You continued, motioning towards the missing holsters on your frame. 

“No need.” He cut you off quickly, his voice leaving traces of urgency. 

“Boaz is packed.” 

You eyed him up, watching the man shutter under your antagonizing gaze, how he hoped you were not suspicious of his intentions after all this time. But rightfully so, the man was yellow-bellied. 

But you had no reason not to trust him. 

You were not exactly sure where Javier was taking you, but for now his company was enough to keep you satisfied. The ride was eerily quiet, even for his standards, being a man of few words. 

After riding a little down south he brought you to a small mountain that overlooked Mexico. He perched you both on a small flat area, just in time for the sun to sink below the land. 

Javier stared over the horizon, he never really did think about how big the south was, yet how small he felt in comparison. A glimmer caught onto his peripheral, turning towards the shine was the pendent he had given you, when you both first started running with the gang. 

The feeling presented itself again, feeling so small in the world— you were the home he had been searching for since the gang's fallout. It was always you. 

He sank into his memories, a vessel of his former self was all that remained. 

You two were quite away from your newly shared camp, with all the members and leads, the moments you had alone became quite sparse. 

“What do you think, Javi?” Your sudden presence caught him off guard. 

“The gang?—“ he pondered your words, leaning against a shady oak. 

“I suppose they’re family for now, señorita. We’re much safer, and they’re good to us.” Javier replied, a hand brushing over the stubble on his jaw. You smiled gently with a nod, making your uneasiness all too obvious. 

“It’s just temporary, amor, once we have the money to get on our feet— it’ll be the two of us again.” He reassured, a polite arm sliding around your waist. 

Javier remembers the look in your eye, doubtful and full of sorrow, but you still trusted him, knowing he would never lead you astray. The same he thought about Dutch.  

Repositioning himself behind you, he dug a necklace from his pocket, draping it over your chest and clasping it. You fidgeted in surprise against his movements, gazing down at the beautiful silver pendant that glistened off the very same sun. Before you could say a word he planted a kiss on your lips, gentle and quick before mounting Boaz. 

“I promise!” 

He called out. After blowing a kiss to you, he was off to assist the gang. He didn’t have much money at the time, but Javier always knew how to make things work—

Oh how naive of him— bright eyed and lovesick, he wanted to make a woman out of you, settle down. That is, before Dutch’s plan captivated him. Which ultimately led to this mess, but who is he kidding, he never really had a chance anyways. 

Javier thought back with immense regret, wishing he was more romantic with you in a way, officially making you his chica earlier on, instead of prolonging it due to the possibility of death. He always feared that courting would further your heartbreak if something bad were to happen. 

It was his own unaddressed way to cope with the harsh reality of survival and being an outlaw, he always prioritized your safety over intimacy until joining the gang. When he looks back on it, your shared time at Horseshoe Overlook and Clemons Point were some of the best times of his life. 

Around that time of riding with the gang was when your relationship with him really began to evolve. The potential competition of other men drove Javier and his intimacy up a wall— his usual gentle lips ghosting over yours turned into small nips, and purple blotches he would mark on your neck late at night. A tight palm covering your mouth which muffled the moans of his name, words the man would kill to hear in such an uncaged manner. He entertained no confusion of who you belonged to; even if he did not make things official until that night at the lake.  

Javier had nearly forgotten the sun had already set, and he somehow had no recollection of it. He looked down at you, only in a thin shirt as you gazed longingly off the mountain side.

The final sunset you shared was simply a ticking clock for him. 

“Cold?” He whispered, words he could barely choke out. 

“A little.” You replied, big doe-like eyes staring up at him, holding so much love for the man. Love he was not sure he ever deserved. 

Forcing his gaze away quickly he arose, soles of his feet vibrating and pulsing with each step. After approaching Boaz his shaking hands freed his bedroll clasps, attention locked upon his rifle poking out of the saddle. 

His head spun, finally digging himself out of his trance. After returning to you, he draped the cloth over you coyly. 

“You okay?” You suddenly asked, your hush voice startling him, he sighed in despair. 

The words you said to him at Beaver Hollow replayed through his mind,

Leave with me. Let’s run away. 

But he could not get them out, his chest quivered under the constraint of his uneven breaths. 

“Course.” He managed to form the word, you nodded in contentment, fresh air filling your nose. 

His response would have to do for now, you decided to cut him some slack since he returned to you, after all. 

By now you knew him well enough. Some nights he would stay up and collect his thoughts before laying beside you. You always respected his space, he had his demons, like everyone else. Soon enough in your slumber  you would feel his protective arms drape around you, his steady breaths hitting the nape of your neck, tense body encapsulating yours— those were the nights you felt the safest, and knew he was going to manage just fine. 

Other nights Javier would stay up while you were by your lonesome. He always feared something would kill the both of you while asleep, reluctantly you agreed. But the man always let you rest, you needed it more, that is for putting up with him all day round. 

Your memories swam with always being coaxed to sleep, eventually giving into the soft lulls he would sing. A wordless agreement that there was no point for the both of you to be cranky and tired in the morning. 

—But there he sat, only to turn into the monster he swore to protect you from. 

“I love you, Javier.” 

Your words racked his brain, digging and clawing invasively into each one of his bones. Javier thought he imagined them until he looked over to find you staring this entire time. You knew there was something seriously wrong, but surely he would tell you within due time. 

Javier’s voice was lost, swallowing suppressed sobs down his dry throat, he nearly felt like he was drowning once again in the frame he called a body. 

Just like the days he would not say it back while pursuing a lead, with doubts he would not make it back to your arms— but he always did, it was the least he could do. It felt like lifetimes ago to him, how could the man choke out a te amo before sending you in? 

Instead, he planted a kiss on your soft lips, lingering there for a moment, knowing it would be your last. 

Looming below in the shadows, trailing to the border resided monsters he used to protect you from— two Mexican soldiers camped out by the tracks. Their lanterns flickering softly in the distance, patiently waiting for the man to arrive at the agreed meeting spot. 

Javier shivered, feeling like a young boy again. His eyes fixated on the stock of his rifle that Boaz held. 

Your breaths became shallow, harmonizing with the warm night’s breeze as you fell into a slumber. You trusted Javier’s judgment on setting up camp or heading home, you perhaps allowed yourself to get a little too comfortable. 

It all happened so fast for him, and there was no going back. Javier’s mind blurred as he rode, Boaz fussing and fighting under his control. His very own horse feared the  monster he had become, maybe poor Boaz thought he was Javier’s next victim. 

He rode fast— but not fast enough to flee from himself. 

A coyote lurked around the darkness, gazing at Javier from behind the two Mexican soldiers who taunted him, puffing on their big cigars from Uncle Sam.  

The coyote disappeared as Javier reached for his revolver, patiently waiting for the man to shoot him— but he never did. 

The soldier simply laughed, knowing Javier’s bark had no bite. While under Allende’s power, he was simply a coward a soldier would not even match out of pity.  

Soon enough the two men fled into the night, banter that could be heard a mile away through the ravines. Anyone could have mistaken them for sick hyenas. 

He could hear their stallions riding hard in triumph, with a new prize Javier held so close for many years, he watched the soldiers grow smaller and smaller over the uneven land until the darkness swallowed them whole, taking a piece of him along. 

The nighttimes ahead would find Javier in a one horse town saloon, nodding off more times than he could remember. His glass turned from full to empty until his vision doubled. 

Javier was not sure how many days had passed, the whiskey dulling his mind and senses, but the thoughts still ate him alive. 

Did you think he would come for you? Or would you be envious, spilling everything you could before meeting the gallows. 

Javier hid in his palms, knowing he got it all wrong— it should have been him. 

It did not take too long for the man to get kicked out from the saloon due to his drunken stupor, not even the bartender wanted his dirty money. 

Javier took Boaz to what he thought was east, the coyote returned to accompany him, lurking around on the monotone forest floors he traveled. 

The night breeze made Javier reminisce of the times at camp, the very same breeze that whipped through your hair as you would drag him off somewhere secluded, your mischievous grin reflecting off the summer night's moon as you snuck off into the bushes. 

You gave everything to each other— all for nothing it seems.

Javier sank lower into himself before eventually staggering off Boaz. It only took him a few unsteady steps to empty his bowels on the dirt path, elbows hoisting him up on his shaky bent knees. 

Peeking out from his jacket cuff was a scar he once wore proudly on his wrist. A scar he earned in some honky tonk town just because another man looked at you wrong. The mere thought of it worsened his nausea.  

All signs pointed to you, and you were gone because of reasons he barely understood himself— He feared he didn’t know what loyalty was anymore. Or what he stood for in fact. 

Your blind love killed you in the end, and it was his cross to bear. 

The sky was dark and dull, which was just as familiar as a bottle and a glass. Not a single star in the sky greeted him, leaving him to fester alone. 

The wind howled violently through the trees, causing the leaves to rustle and sway. A northern was quickly sneaking upon the lands of New Austin. 

His lone coyote joined him on a distant cliffside, coat black as sin, mocking the cowboy who lingered below. 

~

[winterisol]

Once again @ray935sworld has inspired me with her talking abt David Alonso as a child caught in the middle of a rosquez divorce.

So... This little idea has kinda sat in my drafts for a while, and Ray has given me the creative juices to actually yap about this. (its long so I'll put a cut)

So, I'm thinking, Marc and Vale are being their typical flirty selves 2013-2014. I'm thinking after Mugello 2014, Marc is on a high winning that race, while Valentino is enjoying the thrill of Marc winning as well as his half-decent 3rd place. Both of them drink a little too much, and maybe Marc is feeling brave, and drags Valentino to an alley nearby, hoping for a sloppy makeout.

But as they get lost in each other, they suddenly hear a weak cry. Thinking it's some sort of cat, Marc's soft side gets the best of him, and he's immediately investigating the sound. At the far end of the alley he sees a box, and he slowly creeps up to it, only to be greeted with two little kids, huddled together, faces covered with dirt and horribly thin.

I think Kimi has a small piece of paper with him with his name and surname written as well as his birthdate, while with David there is absolutely nothing.

Him and Vale panic, then quickly sober up, gentle speaking with the kids (who are very quiet and scared), and then deciding it would be best to take them to the hospital. They get a hospital, and pray that the kids are fine.

I think Marc gets really attached to these kids from the second he seems them. Maybe its Kimi's curls, or David's blue eyes but he feels like they resemble Vale, or maybe that's just the alcohol and his love sick brain talking.

Anyway, they are soon cleared, being nothing more than dirty and malnourished. The doctors also inform them that the two boys are in fact not related, and Kimi is in their system, but both parents are dead, while the other kid (David) is not in the system and could not tell them a name.

After a few minutes of back and forth with Vale trying to be a voice of reason (shocking I know) Valentino and Marc offer to adopt them. Valentino is Valentino so I'd like to think with some connections and using his name, he's able to expedite the process of adoption and soon both Kimi and David are under their custody.

In my head, Marc is the one to get emotionally attached quickly, being the one to name David, David, and legally giving his mother's last name to David, Marquez Atlena.

It's kinda like a co-parenting situtation legally, but yeah Marc and Vale at this point 100% well past being friends, and clearly fucking (nothing more tho). However, this and the kids are hidden from the media. Often times either being watched by their parents or friends when there is a race weekend.

Kimi falls in love with go-karts while David seems to always watch Marc or Vale at the races. And Marc is their biggest supporter, Valentino as well, but I think he'd be a little bit more protective and worried for the two boys.

Then of course 2015 happens, and the kids are kinda caught in the middle. Both Marc and Vale try hard to shield them from their clearly deteriorating relationship, but once Sepang happens, Marc is so ready to never see Vale again. He wants to take the kids with him, but he's then attacked at his home, and quickly realizes its not safe with him.

Valentino, then realizes he isn't very well equipped to raise two 8 year old boys on his own. He first makes them stay with his mom, who raises eyebrows and isn't happy with Vale, but does it for the sake of David and Kimi. And then with David wanting to pursue a career in Motocycling, Valentino decides its best for David to be in Spain with Marc where there are more opportunities.

Vale becomes kinda distant, half raising Kimi, while barely maintaining a relationship with David after shipping him off to Spain.

This all then jumps to 2026, Kimi Antonelli is fighting for the Championship in F1, while David Alonso is nervous star of the future debuting in MotoGP.

They meet at a sponsorship event and people are quick to notice how close the two boys are. It slips from David's mind that it isn't public knowledge, and he casually mentions they are brothers. The media goes wild, 'cause both of them have never public been with their family (some nasty people calling them orphans because they've never been at a race with their mother or father) and are curious on why they use different last names.

[laurrelise]

oh dear god i fucking hope not

am i going crazy or did anyone else notice that in S3E9 of tua it's insinuated that klaus and sparrow ben did the shabangbang? i swear to god i never picked up on it before but in my most recent rewatch i was like "okay... they wake up after a drunken night that neither of them can remember.. both shirtless.. sprawled out on the floor and on the pool table.. klaus is in his undies.. he also says something about ben opening up his 'kimono' to him..." AND later in the episode luther asks five if ben hooked up with anyone and five just smirks and doesn't answer. not to mention ben and klaus were cuddling when all of the siblings were outside after luther and sloane's wedding. y'all i swear im not crazy, watch the scene where they wake up the next morning and tell me there isn't some kind of tension there. tbh it's probably some more queerbaiting weird sibling sh!t that the writers are pulling cause let's be honest i do not put that past them. it just caught me so off guard and i haven't seen anyone on here mention it so far.

[shamachan]

My yapping about my OLNF OC! Ꮺ

haha, this is my first time posting my sketch, it’s a little awkward but I think I’m making progress on it.

sooo... *drumroll*

there he is! my dear Ray-Ray, or Mr. Ray Golden!

he is a child who simply cannot stand still. everything around him is ablaze with activity, either because he is running here and there, or because he is again curious to do something.

Ray will have fun exploring the entire Golden Grove forest, and the city itself! he has a lot of acquaintances, but not as personal as Qiu has. basically he is known because of all sorts of cases. and actually, these cases are quite... traumatic for him. but he won’t allow others to get even a scratch!

If you are with Ray-Ray, then I am afraid that things will not happen without some adventures. he will take you on certainly interesting, but slightly troublesome adventures! he will pull anyone out of boredom and apathy. but therefore, he simply needs someone who will moderate his heroic ardor.

but don't worry! even though the adventures may be a little dangerous for kids, he will definitely take care of you the best he can. even if he may seem untrustworthy or silly, it's not true. just trust him and your time with him will be (mostly) positively unforgettable!

literally Ray after really accidentally setting his lawn on fire (he stopped the fire after 3 seconds but everyone saw that):

LOLOLOLOL I LOVE MA CHILD SO MUCHHH UGHH i can talk about him LITERALLY FOR HOURS and wouldn't get bored!!! btw sorry that mini-art has a bad quality.....

buuut yeah thanks for reading this!!! if you're still reading this, i suppose ;p

I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS I THOUGHT TO DO THIS IN THE MORNING ......

[evermourning]

𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 - bang chan

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: fluff, comfort, slice of life, based off "must be love" by laufey

wc: 0.8k

warnings: neck kisses (non-sexual), use of nicknames (baby, sweetheart), language

now that you had someone you could call your own, it was like time stopped.

you were used to not much going your way, like the world had it out for you. it was some sort of sick fucking joke, like a dark raincloud hanging over your fate and covering up all that was good. you learned to code with it. that was how you lived.

until chan came along, of course.

he was the warm ray of sunshine you needed to push the melancholia inside you away. immediately, you could tell something was different. this guy was just full of so much love, it seemed surreal. intangible.

now, months into a relationship with the supposed man of your dreams, you missed him miserably. he sat absorbed in his work, the studio forming a impenetrable fortress that took away any means of self or time...and you sat in traffic.

whenever you were with him, the bad things faded out of view, and when you weren't near his remedial presence, they quickly made themselves known once again.

however, your boyfriend had taught you to appreciate the little things in life. you were composed, calm as you settled into the remotely soft car seat and looked out your window. the sky was like a canvas, warm colors with hues of reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows danced across the dimming sky as the sun bid its final goodbyes...until it would return joyously the next day, like clockwork.

when you finally arrived home, much later than anticipated, you opened the door to the smell of spices and a delicious and piquant scent wafting from the oven, and your boyfriend hard at work in the kitchen.

"you're back!" he said, grinning. carefully setting down the wooden spoon, making sure not even a single drop stained your counters. "i was beginning to worry, you didn't even send me a text..." he faked a pout, only causing your smile to widen.

"i'm sorry, the sunset was so mesmerizing tonight, baby. and i was stuck in traffic." seeing his incredulous glance, you let out a tiny chuckle. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry! in my defense, i thought you were holed up in your studio again, so i assumed you wouldn't even be here..."

"can't do that as much anymore," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. "my baby would miss me too much."

you laughed softly, closing your eyes and feeling yourself get lost in the moment as chan pressed soft kisses along your collarbone and neck.

the little moments like these were the ones where you let yourself go, succumbing to the tranquility of the time spent with him.

you'd fallen so hard, you realized. sometimes you couldn't even believe he was your lover, feeling more akin to some silly school crush whenever you'd get all tongue-tied from his rampant flirting.

this was something more than a crush, though. this feeling of a blooming flower, spreading its vibrant petals far and wide throughout your heart was new. and you...liked it.

...

"where the hell have you been? you're almost alway busy nowadays!" your friend nagged on the phone. "don't tell me that no-good boyfriend of yours is monopolizing all your time...." you tuned her out as her incessant cacophony of yapping made your ears ring. instead, you chose to focus on your boyfriend's eyes, two serene pools of melted chocolate, filled with an elixir of love only for you.

"you're so damn pretty." he commented, staring at you, his lips stretched into a goofy little grin. "i wanna write another song about you."

"another?" you asked, hanging up on your friend. the silence felt heavenly. "you've been writing quite a bit recently, sweetheart...don't you think your fans will start to notice?"

his grin widened.

"see, that's my master plan. i keep all the recordings on my special laptop. therefore, i'll have them without the fans knowing. just for the two of us." he cooed, giving you a quick yet loving kiss. "you should go see ms. screech owl, now. i don't want to prove her point and monopolize your attention...although i really wish i could."

his words played on your heartstrings like a talented violinist, as usual. nowadays, he conducted an entire symphony inside your heart, driving you absolutely crazy.

nearly every waking moment, you felt euphoric, stuck inside a wonderland just for you. chan inhabited every waking thought of yours, and you just couldn't shake him. when he wasn't with you, it felt like a piece of you wasn't there. when he was with you, you felt like you were on cloud nine.

this wasn't normal, you concluded. there was only one possible answer to the scenario you'd entangled yourself in.

this was love, wasn't it?

[emeraldbabygirl]

Hi :) it’s been awhile since I’ve actually had conversations with my mutuals here and I feel bad about it as always but I just wanted to post and say hi and that I think about my oldest mutuals often and hope y’all are still alive and well no matter where you are on your life journey. I know well all busy with jobs and finding what we want to do in life and that’s okay but I just wanted to say that I miss you all and miss all our cute talks and I appreciate you guys coming into my life when you did and meeting you all and sometimes I see you liked a post and I see your username in my notifications and it makes me smile. I miss you guys and I’m sorry I never reached out :( I’ve become bad at keeping connected to people but I want you all to know that I appreciate you all being in my life and I hope sometime we can have our fun conversations again. I hope what I said makes sense, it always sounds better in my head. I just hope y’all are well and if you ever come back to tumblr sometime you can say hi or leave a message even if it’s small, I enjoy the surprises and idk hi :) I miss my mutuals you guys were my first friends when I started building my blog up and I just really appreciate all the kind words and everything you’ve done for me and I wanted to say something even if I couldn’t message you individually. Sometimes it’s easier for me to make a post like this. I still think about you all and wonder how things are and I remember your usernames and pfps and it brings back memories, even if we didn’t talk a lot, maybe I mentioned you in some tag games or I popped in to say hi.

I wanna make something for you all as a thank you for just being a part of my experience here on tumblr even if we don’t talk anymore I want to do something to show my appreciation so I recently fiddled around and made some lil collage/edits and I want to make some for you guys if you’ll let me. Just tell me some things you like, like an actor or singer or animal and some colors and anything and I wanna put something together as a thank you for talking to me when I was still a young blog? Does that make sense? Cause I didn’t have a lot of followers just a couple mutuals and some of you became really close friends and I appreciate you for that.

Of course now I wanna make something for everyone but I’ll just tags the people I’ve known on here the longest and if you want me to make you something please let me know or you don’t have to. I like making things for people and stuff. Ok tagging @excindrela @yovibeispretty @seoulmates98 @ithinkilikeit-reactions @yuta-the-mountain-man @cherryeoo @uwunnie @thirdxporsche @dmbjwhxre ..I think I’ll just tag everyone that I’ve felt something special with, people that I’ve had come into my blog and played games with and stuff like that cause I really think about all of you and wish you all the best :) @wh0sthe5pecial0ne @wheezing-pterodactyl @bandluvr97 @chrismequick @despairvb @impeachybabie @atinystaypixie @princessjazzyjazz @juicylivy @boxyg28 @lowavocado4701 @witchy-weve-monbebe @ateezaligned @henlex @rai-scutum @khathastrophe @kidinthemoonlight @pleasemeosaur @moonlight--cafe @the-moon-baby @axelwolf8109 @dreamlesswonder86 @axishonor @7zenisss @straysugzhpe @halalhyungwon @elenilote @ninamarie1994 @gungumeloh @jaejoongs-nipple-piercing @dungbeatposse @hyugaruma @awritersstuff @star2fishmeg @starstruckforyou @belphies--pillow @sleepystrawberrybunny @khami-143 @simpforchuchu @thistaleisabloodyone

Even if we don’t talk a lot or anymore I see some of your posts on my dash and I’m like ‘I rember you omg’ and I get a little happy. Ok enough yapping I just wanted to say some stuff and I hope all of you are doing well and if not I’m sorry :( I hope things get better for you! Have a good day or night or evening wherever you are <3

[sleepinginmygrave]

⋆˚࿔ jupiter's aquarium 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

300 followers celebration<3

welcome to jupiter's aquarium!!

thank you guys so so much from 300 followers omg, i can't believe so many individuals are following me and interested in my silly life hjjhjjh i love you guys so much<33

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ this will end on the first of july! (i think, probably)

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ this is heavily inspired by @urbanflorals' event because it was just too gorgeous hjgjhh (i really hope it doesn't bother you oml)

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ you can request as many as you want! (just keep it reasonable hjhhjh)

𓇼 ⋆｡˚it might take me some time to fullfill your request, please be patient! i also probably won't answer them in order, i'll just answer some when i have the time :]

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ this is for followers and mutuals only<3

intro post

welcome to our aquarium!! what creature do you wanna see? let me show you what we have!!

⋆｡˚[ sea creatures ]⋆｡˚

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {eels} ࿐ྂ i'll make a small pinterest board inspired by you

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {sturgeons} ࿐ྂ i'll recommend one or a few musical artists/songs i like for you

please precise what type of music you listen to!

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {moon jellies}࿐ྂ i'll make you a moodboard or a stimboard for whatever you want

please precise what you want the stim/moodboard to be about! it can be inspired by you, a character, an animal etc (also precise if you want a stim or a moodboard!)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {octopus} ࿐ྂ i'll (try to) draw you something!

please tell me what you want me to draw! it will be shitty btw, please don't pick that /j this one is probably the one that'll take me the longer tho, just so you know

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {manta rays}࿐ྂ i'll talk to you about whatever's happening in my life (or just yap about my hyperfixations really)

(i am an Oversharer when it comes to my own life so this is great because i'm allowed to yap hehe)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {tropical fishes}࿐ྂ i'll assign you an animal based on you/your blog

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {turtles}࿐ྂ i'll tell you three things i associate with you

⋆｡˚[ sharks ]⋆｡˚ (mutuals only)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {blacktip reef sharks}࿐ྂ i'll tell you what we would do together if we met irl

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {whale sharks}࿐ྂ i'll write you a letter :>

⇢ ˗ˏˋ {lemon sharks}࿐ྂ i'll assign you one of my favorite animal!!

the same as tropical fishes tbh but more personal :3

queue ; 13 visits to go

we hope you had a nice time observing our residents!! thank you so much for passing by<33 don't hesitate to come back!!

again thank you guys so so much, i'm so glad for all the friends i made here<33

⋆｡˚tagging⋆｡˚

⋆｡˚@urbanflorals ; tysm for letting me use your event as an inspo, i almost copied the presentation hjhgjhghh it's so so gorgeous

other moots!!; @bloophasarrived @starmanbutitsregulusblack @aesthetic-writer18 @this-is-me-lolol @in-the-sweet-november-rain @daydream-of-a-wallflower @ev-enhotterthanyou @silence-between-seconds @skeelly @thedvilsinthedetails @marylily-my-beloved @a-wondering-thought @a-beautiful-fool @sceirlose @hansenesque @holdmyteaplease @rorythinks @niallermybabe

(i don't have the energy to tag a lot of people sorry, also please tell me if you didn't wanted to be tagged!!)

[pant--eater]

what do you think fry's family is like!!! i love him sooo much every time you draw him it's like a gift 🥺🥺🥺

WAUGHGHGHJ these Fry questions make me so happy since he's my Blorbo(TM) <3 Gah I'm itching to talk about him, so ask and you shall deserve!! Also thank you SO much I'm so glad you love my art <33

little sketches related to what I'm about to yap about. ANYWAYS here's wonderwall

So on my old account I used to hc he is Indian-British, whose family hails from Travancore (Kerala nowadays). This was based on what I ASSUMED was canon info since back in January, all Chicken Run wiki articles about him mentioned he's Indian-British. But apparently that's not 100% settled info what his ethnicity is?? And the wikis have been edited since. His VA Nick Mohammed is from a mixed Cypriot/Indo-Trinidadian family though and I spent time reading about Indian-British immigrant history to get Fry's characterization accurate, so imma keep with that hc.

Anyway! I headcanon Marcus is the only child of wealthy businessmen that owned a highly successful trade company. His Vaishya grandparents moved to Britain during the late Victorian era; after all one of the only ways a PoC family could make it back then in Britain was by being filthy rich, and very early on the Fry family had been forced to adopt a "British" way of living in order to be taken seriously by the shitass imperial society. Such as switching to a British surname and avoiding to display too much of their original culture in public. A colonial trauma that still prevails, since Fry's parents christened him with a heavily English name.

I REEEALLY wanna give a try to designing Fry's parents sometime!! But I imagine his parents as sort of a healthier parallel to Melisha's parents; his father is a pristine and calm gentleman with a soothing voice and a love for theatre and literature (a trait that Marcus inherited LMAO) while his mother is more stern, headstrong and very, VERY proud of her status. (but she also has a infectuous smile and laughter and has a bombastic overdramatic streak...something that Fry inherited as well)

They're both native Malayam speakers, and while their family in public strives to keep Keralite culture hidden, they made sure to teach Marcus to speak his native language fluently as well, along with Hindi, Bengali, Tegulu and Tamil. Along with that, they frequently go on family trips to Travancore and enjoy things like inji neer, Kathakali performances (which inspired Fry on his love for theatre <3) and Carnatic music.

Both parents pushed Marcus to study hard and gain multiple academic degrees - it was all out of love and concern, because they wanted Marcus to be able to survive in the cruel world out there without only relying on his money. (Once again, a PoC immigrant family experience that I can identify with as well... even if society nowadays is not nearly as racist as it was back then, unfortunately PoC people are often forced to study waaaay harder than white people in order to make it.) Because they had lived through the years of great depression in the 1930s, and while they managed to survive with most of their wealth intact, they knew that one should not rely only on money for support since anything could happen.

Fry, as a child, was a gifted A+ grade student and a very well-behaved, so his parents called him a little ray of sunshine and a future hope. He yearned to be perfect so his parents would never be disappointed in him. Something that later on contributed MASSIVELY to Fry's gifted child burnout, and how he adopted a sinister, sadistic fascination with mind control and manipulation during his Cambridge years.

Once Marcus came out as trans and genderfluid to his parents, his father was very patient and accepting, but his mother spent several years in denial before finally accepting him. Not directly out of transphobia - but because she was afraid that Marcus would be discriminated, attacked and hurt by people, and that he should focus first on building a career for himself instead of bringing a bad name to the Fry family like this, with an outrageous gender identity. But she soon realized that hiding himself would only hurt her child on the long run. Also - the way Fry managed to fully bribe (cough mind control cough) British officials to switch the gender in his personal info and passport was nothing less than impressive to both of his parents LMFAOOOO and they're very proud

However despite all of this, Fry retains a loving relationship to his parents!! He goes to their mansion every Christmas, and they're also VERY accepting and encouraging to his marriage to Melisha. In fact, his mom was relieved to see Fry had married a very orderly, stern and no-nonsense woman, because Marcus had always been a scatterbrained mess and a reckless money-spender. He made a wonderful scientist, but business-running had never been his thing, so Melisha taking care of all that is like a lottery win to the Fry parents. ESPECIALLY since Melisha came from a poor household - a woman like this, who knows what it's like to live at the rock bottom, surely knows to keep Marcus humble and not let him make flimsy business decisions!! (either way Melisha is still a bit intimidated by Fry's mom, which says a lot considering what kind of a girl Melisha herself is LMFAO)

Pluuuus... the Harsh Expectations(TM) is something that Melisha can relate to </3 It's something that catches her entirely off guard, when she learns this detail about Fry's past. After all, the silly goofy doctor is like an endless ray of sunshine, he's rich and successful. (and we all know what Melisha's mother told her about money bringing happiness...) How could he ever have any worries or feelings of inferiority??

It's a detail that makes (in my hcs) Melisha fall even deeper in love with Fry and become tenfold more protective over him :''') <3 Once she realizes what a horrific burden this goofball is carrying on his back, and yet he still finds the energy every day to stay positive, be optimistic and support Melisha during her hard days.

[lupeloto]

"always watch you sleep" ficlet

hey i'm back with a disgustingly fluff-ridden, sweet, cheesy ficlet about them being gay and married and in love!

The air is still, a warmth settling over the room as the sunrise shines through the curtains directly onto the bed, hitting Mickey’s bare chest in a way that has Ian practically mesmerized.

Mickey lays flat on his back, comforter billowing loosely around his hips. Ian traces his finger slowly up-and-down Mickey’s torso, gaze not breaking from Mickey’s face, the curve of his nose and lips as the sun rays make their way up. He blinks slowly, not wanting to miss a minute of this moment.

Mickey breathes in steadily, “Jesus Gallagher,” he huffs, “Can I help you?” He peeks one eye open and shoots it over to his husband who wears a look of no shame.

Ian shoots a one-sided grin, never looking away or halting the calming movement of his finger tracing his husband’s skin. 

Mickey turns over to face Ian, rubbing his eyes lazily, “Watcha want creep?” He jokes, his hand moves to gently rub Ian’s shoulder. Ian digs further into the mattress and closer to Mickey, comforted by the coolness of the ring against his skin. 

“Always watch you sleep,” he says with a casual shrug. 

Mickey’s eyebrows go up, “S’that right?” He inches closer. 

“Only time I can look at you without you yapping about some ‘take a picture, it’ll last longer, gallagher.’” Ian mocks in his best Mickey voice, tilting his head playfully.

“Oh?” Mickey fakes offense, “You’re the one watchin’ me sleep and i’m catchin’ heat?” He flashes a grin that takes up his entire face, his cheeks lifting to hear his eyes are hidden and a light pink flushing his cheeks. Ian has never seen anything better than that. Nothing has ever been able to bring him back to earth, to ground him, to wash away every single anxiety or fret like that smile. He finds himself gazing dreamily again with a goofy grin of his own. 

“Jesus,” Mickey leans into him, burying his face in Ian’s bare chest, “Maybe you should take a fuckin’ picture.”

“What? I can’t look at you? I can't appreciate what I got?” Ian questions, playfully tackling Mickey, pinning him to the mattress. He kisses his cheek quickly before popping back up to meet his husband’s gaze. 

“Whatever, softie,” Mickey beams, lifting his head up to meet their lips for a long, slow kiss. He pulls back, bringing his hands to cup either side of Ian’s face, captivated by the gleam in his eyes before breaking free and tackling him onto his back, “My turn, Red.” He bites his lip, smashing his mouth against his husband’s as the sun rises higher, illuminating them both in a way that the other completely enthralled at the sight.