#yanjun; stranded

[malboraslihan]

mw faces?

hiii love, we been thinking lizeth selene, teresa seco, madison bailey, zion moreno, sabrina carpenter, chloe bailey, leah halton, felix mallard, jamilla strand, mason gooding, evan mock, christina nadin, isabelle mathers, brayden bradshaw, zahara davis, sab zada, aj clementine, michael evans-behling, imaan hammam, chance perdomo, lin yanjun, savannah lee smith, alissa violet, aisha potter, aron piper, nessa barrett, savannah smith and lucien laviscount! if you need more just lmk <3

[lovingstares]

lin yanjun; stranded

pairing; lin yanjun x reader

⇢ word count; 2.3k

⇢ genre; office au, CEO au, fluff

⇢ warnings; probably boring, this is my first time writing on here. please enjoy!

“Are you ready, sir?” I asked him as he walked out of his office. He took a deep breath and nodded, forcing a small smile on his face. I was convinced that he hated going to meetings. He would always do this sort of routine so that he could calm down so I kind of figured.

I gave him a closed lip smile and together we walked to the car garage. When we got there, the doorman handed me the keys and while walking I pressed one of the buttons, unlocking said car. I had no idea which car we were taking. It was always a mystery that I didn’t have control over even though I was the one driving them. Sad, right?

However, over the years of working at this company as the executive assistant to the CEO and driving him to meetings throughout the week, I’ve established my favorite cars to drive. There was the Kia Stinger, which was very luxurious so it could fit the CEO’s taste but it could also go from 0 to 60mph within 5 seconds (which was enjoyable for me even though I’ve only got to try it out once).

Then there was the Audi R8, which was a beautiful car. The CEO owned one in black but the one I drove to his meetings was white. Both were amazing finishes. The navigation in this car was amazing though which was the seller for me. If I had enough for this car, I would’ve bought it ages ago.

And lastly, there was the Jaguar XJ 3.0. This car was absolutely beautiful. If I could, I’d marry it but sadly that would just be weird. This car handled curves so well, it made me tear up every time. Driving down even a pebbled road with this car was a smooth ride. It was enjoyable for me and the CEO could finish up some work without being tossed around in the back.

Although this company had lots of amazing cars, they also had more than a handful of bad ones. For instance, the Pontiac G6. This car was ugly. I’m not even going to lie and say that it had some nice points in terms of appearance because it did not. The whole entire interior was plastic and it wasn’t even well designed! The buttons were way too small as well. It’s like a baby designed this car. The drive was okay but I’ve had way better drives. Sometimes the CEO would even complain about how bumpy it would be.

Also, for some reason they had a PT Cruiser? One of the worst, if not the worst car I’ve ever driven. When I would take it to gas stations alone while the CEO was in meetings that I couldn’t go in, it would just stop randomly. I would be at a stoplight and it wouldn’t turn back on. I would be pulling into the gas station and it would just shut off and I would almost get into an accident because of it. And sometimes when I’m on the highway, the car would just randomly honk! I wouldn’t even be anywhere near touching the horn!

Every meeting we went to was always a mystery for me because I didn’t know which car I would get. Today, though, I knew it wouldn’t be good. As soon as I unlocked the car, I knew.

The keys that the doorman gave me belonged to the PT Cruiser.

I groaned, losing my professionalism for a moment before realizing that the CEO was watching. I straightened up, “Sorry, I just don’t like this car.”

“You have favorite cars?”

“Yes. And this one is not on that list. But I will try to make this an easy ride for you so don’t worry.” I said with a small smile, opening the back door for him. He nodded, getting in and closing the door. 

While walking over to the drivers side, I let out a whine. I absolutely hated this car! Would it stop on us for no reason today? Would we die?

I started the car and already could feel the engine giving out. Maybe I could just ask the doorman for a different key. But as I reached for the door handle, I caught a glance of the clock, telling me that I didn’t have time to get a different car. If we didn’t leave now we would be late.

I sighed, changing the gear shift into reverse and pulling out of the parking space.

So far, the ride was nice. It was quiet, as always, and not as bumpy as usual. Of course, there were a few times where my heart jumped out of its cage because I thought we would die, but we didn’t and so I could rest easily.

A stop light occurred and I started to slow down, preparing to stop. As I stopped, I looked in the rear view mirror, “What is the topic of the meeting today?”

“Stocks,” CEO Lin said without even looking up from his tablet. I nodded, looking ahead of us at the light. It was always awkward when I would drive him, which was all the time because it was my job. I would never have anything to say and so I would usually bring up the oncoming meeting because it would be the only thing I could think of. But his answers would always be vague and I would never know how to respond.

I sighed as the light turned green, pressing on the gas pedal. But, like I thought, the time came. The car inched forward, pretending to not be defective, and then the engine sputtered out and the car turned off.

My heart started racing as I tried to press the gas pedal again. The car didn’t move. I quickly turned on my hazard lights, my movements rushed and panicky.

The CEO must’ve picked up that something was wrong, so he asked what was going on. I brushed it off, “Nothing, the car is just acting up.”

“Why is it off?” he asked. I saw his curious expression glancing at me from the rear view mirror.

If I knew, then it wouldn’t be off! “I don’t know but I’ll figure it out.”

His expression faltered for a bit as he sat back in the seat. I took this time to call the administrative staff and tell them what was going on.

“Hey, Y/N!” One of the staff, named Ziyi, greeted me. We were close because his job was the closest to being my assistant. Just without the title.

“Hey Ziyi! Can you call the member of the staff in charge of the cars and tell them that the PT Cruiser broke down?”

“Yeah sure no pro- wait what?!” He exclaimed, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine but the car is a piece of trash—“ I glanced up into the rear view mirror, seeing the CEO curiously gazing at me. I cleared my throat, “— The car is defective so we are going to see if we can get a new one or find some other way to get to the meeting.”

“Okay. I’ll tell them to send a driver down to go get you,” he said before I hung up the phone.

There was a moment of silence which consisted of me fully accepting this situation and the CEO figuring out what to do with this knowledge.

“So the car broke down?” He asked.

I let out a sigh, “Yes, sadly this was out of my control. This car is really old and not very good at its job.”

A pause, “...Which is driving?”

“Yes. Its job is to drive us safely to where we need to go and back. But it failed.” It was quiet after that. I called the stockholders and told them the inevitable news and they told me that we could always reschedule and that it was no problem. Then I thanked them and told them I would send the email for the reschedule when we get back. And then I hung up and took a breath.

It was so quiet, it was making me anxious. I never had to be in this position with the CEO before. All I did was drive him to meetings and show him schedules and stuff. I never had to be stuck in a car with him for more than thirty minutes. What was I supposed to say?!

Maybe five whole, silent minutes passed before something popped into my head.

“Have you eaten yet?” I almost pat myself on the back for this one!

“Yes.” 

Annnd my confidence shattered. I nodded awkwardly, glancing at him from the rear view mirror. He was looking down at his tablet, like always, and wasn’t paying my awkward mood any mind.

I sighed, looking forward again, but before I could finish the sigh, CEO Lin spoke up, “Have you?”

I was so shocked that he made an attempt to keep the conversation going that it took me a few seconds before his words registered. I made eye contact with him through the mirror and shook my head to get back on track, “Uh, no. I haven’t yet. But I usually eat when you go to the meetings.”

“That’s a shame then, since I won’t be able to make it to the meeting. There’s a cafe down the street though, not that far,” he said, looking back down, “If you’re hungry then I suggest going there. You could probably get there in five or so minutes. I’ll pay for it.”

“I- uh-“ I was speechless, “Thank you. I guess I’ll be back in a few minutes then.” He nodded, handing me his card, “Do you want anything?”

He looked up at me, and for the first time in my whole entire life, I saw him smile. A real one. At me. And holy moly, he had dimples, oh my god-

“I’m fine. I’ve had my fair share of sweets today.”

I walked back to the car with the bag in hand. Despite him saying he had enough sweets, I still bought him something. A coffee, not sweet though because he didn’t like his coffee sweet.

I opened the door, setting the things in the passengers seat and looking back to check and see if he was okay.

I was met with his brown eyes staring back at mine.

He flashed a small smile, but quickly went back to normal as his eyes looked down to my hands, “You’re back so soon. What did you buy?”

“I bought a croissant and some coffee. I actually bought the coffee for you. I figured you’d need it.”

“Thank you.” He said as I handed him the coffee. He took a sip, nodding, “It tastes amazing.”

I smiled softly before turning back around and starting on my croissant. As I was eating, I started to think.

‘I’ve had my fair share of sweets’ but I haven’t seen him get any sort of sweets. And my desk is right outside of his office.

So he either has a secret stash that I don’t know about or he’s covering up the fact that he has diabetes and he can’t eat sweets.

I furrowed my brows as my teeth sunk into the treat. I’ve never seen him eat sweets for that matter. Every time I would make his coffee, it was always bitter. He even sent it back once when someone made it sweet.

He doesn’t like sweets.

So what was he talking about?

“By the way,” he started. I directed my attention to his face in the mirror. He was looking at his coffee cup, “You look really pretty today.”

The croissant I was chewing nearly found its way down my throat on its own. I choked and he looked up.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded, quicker than I ever have before which probably would’ve broke my neck if I continued, “Um, thank you. For the compliment. I don’t really know what to say because you always look good so—“

Wait. Did I just—?

“Thank you,” he responded, confirming the fact that I did, indeed, say that. Wow, where was my brain? “I didn’t mean it to say you don’t always look good though. Today you are just extra beautiful.”

I was so glad I wasn’t eating at that moment because I probably would’ve choked to death. He thought I was pretty? No— not just pretty— beautiful.

“Thank you, CEO Lin.” I said in the calmest way I could. On the inside though, my heart was racing. CEO Lin was, by far, the cutest person at the company. But cute is even an understatement. So to hear him say that I was beautiful was very... nice, to say the least.

I heard him sigh, “Well, since the meeting is now canceled and we are basically stranded until administration gets here, would you like to go somewhere with me?”

“Like where?”

“Maybe the park down the street,” He smiled at me through the rear view mirror, “As a date? And please, call me Yanjun.”

Walking side by side with the CEO— I mean Yanjun— wasn’t very new for me. But doing this as a date was. Unlike I thought, he actually had a lot to say. He was asking me a lot of questions about my life and how I like the job, hobbies, things I like to do at home. Basically, normal questions for getting to know someone. But it wasn’t boring like I would’ve thought, It was nice.

And then I remembered. And I stopped.

He stopped and looked back at me, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just remembered something.”

He smiled, “What did you remember?”

“Earlier today you said that you had your fair share of sweets today. What did you mean?” I asked, my eyebrow raising a bit. He looked at me with a curious gaze before it went away. Now was the time where I would figure out if he had diabetes or not.

But what I wasn’t expecting was that he would start laughing, “Oh that! You want to know what that was about?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty curious because I never see you eating sweets.”

He smiled, walking up to me, “Just being around you is sweet enough for me.”

[alpxcamin]

Forget Me Not pt.2

Requested?: Kind of? Quite a few of you wanted a second part lol

Words: 5.3k

Group: Nine Percent

Member(s): Yanjun

A/N: Read part 1 before you read this! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it ;)))

It wasn’t until you had passed that Yanjun finally realized just how much you meant to him. His best friend in the entire world, someone who he had taken for granted, you were his everything. He craved your presence, your smile, your touch. He misses you more than anything, more than anyone. Yanjun had locked himself in for weeks, mourning over you the whole entire time. He didn’t even go out to buy food or get any necessities. All of yours and his friends had visited him often, but he would just be sulking or crying the whole time they were there. They brought him food and other essentials, but every time they returned when they thought he needed more, they noticed that he hadn’t touched anything. He had even gotten sick one of those weeks; he caught a cold and coughed an awful lot. Luckily, he was able to get over the fever thanks to the help of his friends delivering medicine. However, he still wasn’t fully well...maybe because he didn’t want to. Perhaps, he thought that if he died of this sickness, he could join you wherever you were.

All Yanjun could do was scroll through your phone, which he luckily was able to have, and scrolled through your old conservations with him. All he could do was to scroll and cry himself to sleep. He just missed you. It was nearing the day of your funeral and Yanjun cried more than ever. However, he took the time to finally clean himself up and take care of his needs. He wanted to be a better version of himself for your funeral. He wanted you to know that he was doing fine, even if he really wasn’t. For the first time in weeks, he stepped out of the house. He had rung up a few of his friends, thanking them for taking care of him despite mourning over you as well. He was more than grateful when Ansheng had offered to help him clean up. She told him she would be over soon so he took a quick shower, which was rare for him, and he cleaned up all his tissues. A knock was heard and Yanjun hesitantly shuffles towards the door. He squinted his eyes at the brightness of the outdoors when he opened the door. Finally adjusting to the light, he looks down to see Ansheng, offering a supportive smile. “H-hey...come in. Sorry, it’s messy,” Yanjun sighs, welcoming her in, kicking away a few stray tissues he had missed earlier. “My goodness. Let’s start with opening all your blinds and windows,” Ansheng shakes her head, marching towards the window. Soon enough, all the curtains were pushed aside and the windows were wide open, letting in the fresh summer breeze. Yanjun was already beginning to feel better. Finally, for the first time since your death, Yanjun smiles. It wasn’t one of those fake smiles he gave his friends when they dropped food off for him, it was a genuine smile. “Look, I know you’re still mourning and all and you have every right to, but think about it this way. Y/n wouldn’t want you to be like this. I know it. Even if I only met her that one time, I know she wouldn’t want you to stay like this,” Ansheng reasons. “You’re right,” Yanjun quietly nods. “Alright, go get dressed because I’m taking you out,” Ansheng smiles, patting him on the back. --- “Eat up. You need to eat,” Ansheng encourages. “I know...this burger just reminds me of all the midnight snack runs I had with y/n,” Yanjun sadly stares at his cooling burger. “Think about it this way. Y/n wants you to cherish all the good times you had with her. She wouldn’t want you to make it all sad and gloomy,” Ansheng takes a sip of her drink. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” Yanjun groans, lowering his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Eat up because we’re going to get you a nice suit for the funeral,” Ansheng smiles kindly, causing a small blush to rise on Yanjun’s sunken cheeks. After eating, as Ansheng promised, she took Yanjun to get a new suit. Although it was a quick trip since Yanjun was literally about to cry as soon as he chose the suit, he really had to admit that getting out of his house made him feel a lot happier. With the positive coaching of Ansheng, he learned to keep the happy memories happy rather than twisting them and making them darker than they really are. “Hey, thank you so much for today. Thank you for taking care of me,” Yanjun smiles at the younger girl, bowing deeply as a thank you. “No problem. I’m always here for you, you know?” Ansheng chuckles. “Seriously though. I don’t think I would have gotten out of this hell hole if it weren’t for you,” Yanjun comedically points to his house. The dark night and sparkling stars filled the sky. The cool summer breeze blew gently around the two. Now that Yanjun had gone out, he really didn’t want to go back into his house. However, Ansheng needed to go home and they both needed to sleep after a long day. “I’ll come by tomorrow, yeah? We can revamp your house. Get rid of some old things,” the shorter girl shyly brushes a strand of her hair behind her ear. “That would be nice,” Yanjun nods, twisting the doorknob, opening the door, “Goodnight. Get home safely.” “Thanks. See you tomorrow,” Ansheng happily waves, making her way back to her car. When Yanjun sees that she has driven away, he closes the door and flips on the light switch. He had to admit that he had a good day today, especially since his crush came by and dragged him out. “Y/n, I hope I didn’t disappoint you,” he whispers to himself, glancing over at a picture frame of the two of you from a couple summers ago. Despite that picture being only a couple years old, the two of you looked a lot younger. The picture was taken at the same beach he had taken you the day you passed. Both him and you were clad in your swimsuits and you were on his back. You were on his back, holding up a peace sign, smiling so brightly. Your legs were wrapped around his torso and he supported you with one arm, his other was holding a peace sign, matching yours. Looking at the photo always made him cry, but tonight, it made him smile. He was grateful for the time he had with you. Despite knowing that he was the one that pretty much killed you, he also knew that you would never want him to blame himself. “See you soon,” he sadly whispered to the photo before cleaning up and heading to bed. --- A loud knock woke Yanjun from his deep slumber. Groaning quietly, he tosses his blankets off and trudging towards the door. Opening it, he suddenly felt a little embarrassed. He was way underdressed, hair a mess, and there was probably drool on his face. “Looks like you just woke up, huh,” Ansheng’s cute giggle made Yanjun blush. “Yeah, your knocking woke me up,” he huffs, hiding his pink face behind his hands. “I’m sorry,” she chuckles, letting herself in. “It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting you this early. Let me go get cleaned up,” he closes the door behind her. “Yanjun, it’s almost afternoon,” Ansheng laughs, pointing at the clock. Yanjun’s eyebrows shot up and he whipped around to look at the clock. She was right, it was almost the afternoon. He was sleeping so soundly. It was the best sleep he has had in weeks. Shyly, he laughs along before heading to the bathroom to clean up. “Do you want to go out for lunch?” Ansheng asks when Yanjun steps out the bathroom. “Sure,” Yanjun shrugs, picking up the jacket that he found laying on the couch. “We can buy some new things for your house on the way back...Yanjun?” Ansheng pauses when she notices Yanjun had frozen in place. Yanjun hadn’t even realized that he had one of your jackets in your house. He picked it up, thinking it was his, but it wasn’t. He bit his lip, not wanting to cry. He desperately tried to blink the tears away, but now he couldn’t get your face out of his head. A gentle touch brought him back from his thoughts. “We should probably get her things out of your house,” Ansheng’s quiet voice soothes him. “Sorry,” he sniffs, dropping the jacket back down onto the couch. Ansheng simply slides her small hands into his bigger one, giving it a comforting squeeze. Hand in hand, they exit Yanjun’s dark house and into Ansheng’s car. Yanjun leans against the window as they drove in comfortable silence, quiet music playing in the background. Closing his eyes, Yanjun thought back to the last day he spent with you. He was the one driving while you sat next to him, music playing softly in the background. Taking a deep breath, Yanjun opened his eyes again. The car stops and he notices that they’ve arrived at his favorite cafe...well it was your favorite so he decided that it would be his favorite as well. “This was y/n’s favorite cafe…”Yanjun sadly stares at the strangers piling in and out. “Oh, I’m sorry, you told me it was your favorite so I thought it would cheer you up a little. I didn’t know. Do you want to go somewhere else?” Ansheng apologizes, starting the car again. “No, it’s okay. It was my favorite too,” Yanjun smiles weakly, shaking his head. Ansheng nods, giving his shoulder a light squeeze. The two of them exited the car and entered the cafe. It was just as warm and cozy as Yanjun remembered, but it felt empty without you next to him. One of the baristas recognized him and waved at Yanjun. He shyly waves back and leads Ansheng to the front. The barista seemed to look confused when he sees that you weren’t there with him. “Hey, I haven’t seen you and y/n in a while. How’re you doing?” Zhengting, the barista, asks innocently. Yanjun chuckles sadly, “Y/n passed away a few weeks ago. That’s why we haven’t been here in a while.” “Oh, I’m so sorry,” Zhengting looks down sadly, “I didn’t know.” “It’s fine,” Yanjun offers a smile, “Can I get my regular?” “Of course, and for the lady?” Zhengting looks up again, smiling. Ansheng hesitates a little and Yanjun orders for her instead, “Get her y/n’s regular.” “Gotcha. It’ll be on the house. Please tell y/n I said goodbye,” Zhengting pats Yanjun on the shoulder before typing in their order. “Thank you,” Yanjun smiles before leading Ansheng to yours and his corner of the cafe. “You guys are pretty close, huh? That Zhengting guy seems nice,” Ansheng offers a cute smile. “Yeah. Y/n and I come here pretty often. Everything is so good here so I really hope you like it,” Yanjun hopefully looks at the girl in front of him. He couldn’t help but see a glimpse of you in Ansheng’s face and he quickly shakes it off, boldly reaching for her hand. Ansheng notices and takes his hand in hers, rubbing her thumbs comfortingly over the back of his hands. The food and drinks came quickly and Yanjun and Ansheng chatted away happily. Before they knew it, both of them had finished their food. Deciding it was time to head back, they waved goodbye to Zhengting and left the cafe. “Did you like it?” Yanjun asks excitedly. “Yeah, it was really good. Although y/n and I seem to have different tastes in drinks,” Ansheng chuckles. “Oh, yeah. Y/n really likes sweet things. I forgot you don’t have much of a sweet tooth,” Yanjun sheepishly laughs. “It’s okay. I enjoyed it nonetheless,” Ansheng shakes her head, opening the car door. The two of them made short stops to a couple stores, purchasing some new home decor before finally heading back to Yanjun’s house. --- “Alright, before we start decorating, we should probably get rid of the old stuff,” Ansheng suggests. “I agree,” Yanjun nods, setting the bags down. “Do you have any boxes? We can donate some things too,” Ansheng looks around the house. “I think I have a couple from when I first moved in still. Y/n and I wanted to make a fort at some point,” Yanjun makes his way to find the boxes, “I guess that didn’t happen.” There was a moment of silence. Yanjun came back with the box and unfolds them, placing them in the middle of the living room. Ansheng takes a deep breath before making a bold decision. “I think you should throw away anything you have that belongs to y/n,” she boldly states. “What?” Yanjun looks up shocked. “This way you won’t have a constant reminder,” Ansheng picks up your jacket from this morning, carefully folding it and placing it in one of the boxes. Yanjun watches as Ansheng reaches for a nearby marker and writing your name in bold font on the box before hesitantly replying, “Y-you’re right.” “Let’s get started?” Ansheng smiles, putting the marker back. Yanjun nods and decides to start in his bedroom as Ansheng continues cleaning his living room. Throughout the cleaning, Yanjun finally realizes just how many of your things are at his place. It saddens him that Ansheng had suggested that he threw it all away, but he knew she was just trying to help him. Finally finishing his bedroom, he carries all of your clothes that you had left here by accident and dumps it into the box with your jacket. “Hey, that was pretty quick,” Ansheng walks out of the kitchen with one of your mugs. “Oh, that’s actually my cup. Y/n gave it to me,” Yanjun points at the mug in her hands. “Sorry, I’ll put it back,” Ansheng quickly places it back on the shelf. Both Yanjun and Ansheng continue cleaning until all the rooms were finally free of trash and free of your things. Neither of them had noticed that the time had passed so quickly and it was nearly nine at night already. Ordering takeout, the pair sat on the couch, chatting quietly. “Oh yeah. I think this is y/n’s phone?” Ansheng pulls out your phone from her pocket, “I found it in the guest room.” “C-can I keep that?” Yanjun hesitantly asks, reaching for the phone. “You don’t have to ask me,” Ansheng chuckles, handing him the phone. Yanjun slips it into his pocket, patting it a couple of times. That would be the one thing he had to keep if he were to throw away everything else that was yours. There were a lot of memories in your phone that he couldn’t bear to toss. “By the way, it’s pretty late. Do you want to just stay the night?” Yanjun shyly suggests. Anshen seemed a little shocked, blushing a little even, “O-oh. If you don’t mind.” “I offered. Besides, I wouldn’t be a very nice...friend...if I let you go back home this late by yourself,” Yanjun chokes over the word ‘friend’. “Thank you,” Ansheng pulls Yanjun into a tight hug. He prays that she couldn’t hear his heart pounding. Oh, how he wished she liked him instead of Maotong. This must have been what it felt like for you and he immediately pulls away from the hug. Guilt began settling in and he stands up, quickly excusing himself to the bathroom. “Damn it, Yanjun. What are you getting yourself into,” he mutters to himself, splashing some cold water on his face. He blankly stares at his reflection for a few seconds. He swore he briefly saw your reflection next to his own, smiling brightly with a toothbrush in your hand and toothpaste all over your lips. He quietly chuckles to himself before stepping out. The smell of the take out made his stomach grumble and he quickly makes his way to the kitchen where he sees that Ansheng had set up the meal for the both of them. He gladly sits in the seat next to hers and they began eating, at first silently, but soon followed by old stories, terrible jokes, and laughing until they nearly toppled over. --- Yanjun gave one last look at your contents in that box before sealing it shut with some tape. Taking a deep breath, he carefully dropped the box in. He really wanted to keep your things, but he knew it was for the better if he tossed them out. Waving wearily, he left the box and left, shutting the door behind him.It will be a new beginning, Yanjun decided. Ansheng and Yanjun spent their days together, Ansheng cheering Yanjun up and Yanjun keeping her company. Yanjun was delighted at the fact that he could get so close to his crush. He was even able to convince her to cuddle with him despite still being slightly sick. Before they knew it, the day of your funeral had arrived. Rather than feeling all depressed and hopeless like he had expected, he was happy and at peace. Ansheng had helped him realize that you wouldn’t want to see him in the state he was in before. He wanted to be happy for you and now he finally was. However, there was another reason behind his happiness. The night before, the two were huddled together on the couch, watching a movie when Ansheng had unexpectedly confessed her budding feelings to Yanjun. He was more than ecstatic, but Ansheng asked if they could take it slow since she didn’t want either of them to get their feelings mixed up because of the recent event of your death. It was one step forward enough for Yanjun and the two of them drifted off to sleep, cuddling on the couch. “Ready?” Ansheng gently knocks on the bathroom door, waiting for Yanjun’s reply. “Just finished,” he opened the door, his smirk of a smile on his handsome face. “Let’s go. For closure,” Ansheng offers a charming smile of her own. Ansheng drove them both to the funeral. They had gotten there a little early so they decided to just wait in the car. Windows rolled down, soft music playing, summer breeze flowing through their hair, Ansheng and Yanjun sat in comfortable silence. Bravely, Yanjun slowly crept his hand closer and closer to Ansheng’s. He stiffened a little when he finally touched her pinky. He was about to pull away when he felt her hand slip into his and gave his hand a tight squeeze. He smiled, blood rushing to his cheeks. Unfortunately, a sudden cough from the boy shattered the mood and they both awkwardly pulled their hands away. “You’re still sick, huh?” Ansheng asks worriedly. “Yeah...it’s just a mild cough now though,” Yanjun sighs, ruffling his hair. “Hopefully it’ll get better soon,” Ansheng nods, then pointing outside, “I think they’re coming now. Let’s go.” Hand-in-hand, Yanjun and Ansheng made their way to the cemetery. Yanjun felt his throat tighten his breathing becoming uneven. Maybe he wasn’t ready to face you again after all. However, with a light squeeze from Ansheng, he was able to calm himself down. The ceremony passed quickly and Yanjun was barely able to finish his eulogy before breaking down in tears. He could feel your presence around him and it tugged at his heart. He wished he could have given you what Ansheng had given him. Unfortunately, it was too late. “Thank you for everything, y/n. I wish I could’ve given more to you...I love you,” Yanjun whispers as your casket slowly descends into the massive hole on the ground. Closing his eyes, a small smile appeared on his face when he thought back to all the good memories you and he shared. He felt Ansheng lean into him and he opened his eyes. Looking down, he notices that she had been looking at him. The two of them share a quiet giggle, before saying their last goodbyes. --- Soon, summer was over and Yanjun and Ansheng had begun their new relationship. Yanjun couldn’t have been happier and he knew that you were happy as well. The couple would often visit your grave for a chat or to pay their respects. Today, they were going to tell you about their relationship. “Hey, y/n. How are you?” Yanjun asks, taking a seat on the grassy floor. Ansheng sits down next to him after brushing away a couple of fallen leaves, “I hope you’re doing well.” “We have some news for you...even though I think you already know what it is,” Yanjun chuckles, “Well, Ansheng and I are dating now. Don’t you dare say ‘I told you so’...okay?” A cool breeze brushed past the couple, causing them to laugh. They knew it was you and they were glad that you approved. After chatting for a good hour, the couple decided that it was time to head back. The sun was setting earlier and earlier, the cool, fall breeze got colder. The months passed quickly and the couple’s relationship had never been better. It was spring and the two of them laid in bed, cuddling face-to-face. Ansheng suddenly buries her face into the crook of Yanjun’s neck. He could feel her warm breath tickling him and he pulled her closer. “I...I love you, Yanjun,” Ansheng mumbles. He could feel her cheeks heating up against his skin and he tensed up, despite being drunk with sleepiness. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth and his eyes drooped. He hoped she knew that she felt the same way. Finally, after a good few minutes, half asleep, Yanjun finally speaks up. “I love you too,” he whispers, drifting off to sleep. --- Yanjun woke up feeling sick to his stomach and deep, aching pain in his chest. Gasping desperately, he peeled himself away from Ansheng, waking her up in the process. He could barely hear her concerned voice as he stumbles his way to the bathroom. Dropping to his knees, he grips the bowl of the toilet, feeling as if he were about to throw up. Instead, he dropped to the ground, unconscious. A soft beeping woke Yanjun up. There was a deep pain throughout his whole body. Groaning, he forced his eyes to open and to his surprise, was greeted by an unfamiliar face. “It’s good to see that you’re fully conscious now. I’ll give you some time to fully wake while I debrief what’s going on with Ansheng. Just press that button with the nurse on it when you feel like you’re ready,” the doctor informed, pointing vaguely to the right of Yanjun. The doctor left and he sat up on his bed. Ansheng rushed over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving, muttering about how he should have told her he was still sick earlier. Sighing, Yanjun’s eyes lazily rolled to the right of him. He reached for the cup and took a sip of water, but nearly spitting it out. There you were, sitting on the uncomfortable looking couch right next to his bed. You looked over and smiled at him. He missed that bright smile of yours. Blinking a couple of times, your figure disappears and he regrets ever blinking. He has had a few hallucinations after your death. He saw you everywhere and it brought him comfort. After he chugged the whole cup of water down, Yanjun pressed the little button to his right as instructed by the doctor. As soon as he pressed it, the doctor came in, Ansheng slowly trailing behind him looking upset and crying. “What’s wrong with me?” Yanjun swallows harshly. The doctor sighs, “You have hanahaki, Mr. Lin. Several actions may be taken from this point. You can either get the person you love to love you back or you can surgically remove the flowers. However, if you get them surgically removed, your feelings for that person will disappear along with the flowers–” “Wait. I have what?” Yanjun interrupts, standing up, “Hanahaki? I haven’t coughed up any flowers yet! Besides, Ansheng and I love each other...I think you’ve got it wrong, doctor.” “Mr. Lin, please calm down,” the doctor replies calmly, but coldly, “I’ll answer your questions one by one. Would you like for Ansheng to stay?” “Yeah, I don’t see why not,” Yanjun sits back down, eyeing his girlfriend who had her arms folded and head down. “Okay, what would you like to know first?” the doctor asked, slipping his pen back into his chest pocket. “If I have hanahaki, then why haven’t I been coughing up any flowers?” Yanjun asks, suspicious. “That is a good question. Well, one doesn’t start coughing up flowers until they are aware of the feelings they have for the other person,” the glares. “Aware…?” Yanjun furrows his brow, rapidly blinking. “I’ll leave you two to discuss. Press that button when you’re done,” the doctor sighs, leaving the couple alone. “You don’t even know, Yanjun?” Ansheng asks, coldly, barely lifting her head. “Ansheng, what’s going on?” Yanjun stands up to pull her closer. She pushes him away. “Yesterday night. You confirmed it yourself,” she glares at him, tears streaming down her face. “Last n-night?” he slowly backs away as she shoves him back onto the bed. “Every night I would wake up to you mumbling ‘I love you’ and I thought it was directed at me so I confessed last night. You said ‘I love you too...y/n’. Y/n...it’s always been her. I should’ve known. Y/n this, y/n that. Everything is about her! You never did love me–or even like me at all!” Ansheng screams, hitting Yanjun’s chest in between each word. Everything hit Yanjun at once. His true feelings, the flowers, the regret. He couldn’t even hear Ansheng screaming at him and he barely felt her fists pounding against him. He felt a tickle in his throat and he coughed. Flowers, gorgeous assorted flowers, flew straight out of his mouth, shocking both him and Ansheng. She backed away, a hand over her gaping mouth. Yanjun felt as if all his limbs were frozen. “A-Ansheng...I’m so...sorry,” he barely chokes out after a silent few minutes. He reaches out, but she shoves him away again, “Don’t even start. I’m heading home. Tell the doctor yourself,” she spits. Ansheng angrily storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Yanjun collapses back onto the bed. He slowly sat up, only to start coughing again. He manages to calm himself, but there was already a sea of flowers and flower petals lying around him. He didn’t know when, but he had started to cry. Picking up the flowers, he slowly examined them one by one after wiping his tears away. Anemones, pink carnations, and the flower that he could never wash from his mind, forget me nots, laid around him, decorating the boring, white hospital floor and bed. He weakly reached for his phone, barely grasping hit. Fingers shaking, he searches for each flower. Anemones - forsaken Pink Carnations - “I’ll never forget you” Forget Me Nots - true and undying love Sobbing, Yanjun tossed his phone aside. He knew exactly why he had coughed up those flowers. He coughed up anemones because you had abandoned him on this earth after your death. He coughed up pink carnations because he knows he won’t ever be able to forget you. He coughed up forget me nots because his love for you was true and undying. --- “I’ll get the surgery for you, Ansheng. Please, have faith in me...in us again,” Yanjun gently holds the girl’s delicate hands. After their new discovery of Yanjun’s terminal “disease”, the two had stayed clear from each other for a little while. Ansheng couldn’t bear the sight nor sound of him coughing up the flowers. She had to get away and Yanjun understood. However, she came around a few days later and the two talked about it. Ansheng had urged Yanjun to get the surgery. She didn’t want to see her love suffering over someone who was long dead. Summer was nearing and Yanjun could feel his body deteriorating slowly and painfully. Every day, he would cough up more and more petals and the flowers would just come up more intact than the last. Thankfully, the two agreed on surgically removing the nasty, yet beautiful flowers. So, Yanjun took himself to the hospital and tried to relax. Ansheng was the first person he saw after waking up. He smiled and she returned it, pulling him into a deep kiss. Finally, it was peace at last. --- “Y/n, I’m here by myself today. You’re doing fine I hope?” Yanjun sadly kneels in front of your headstone. A gentle breeze brushed past him and he smiled, “Well, it’s officially been a year without you.” Yanjun pauses, swallowing harshly. The hot, summer sun beat down through the trees, but he couldn’t help but shiver. “I still miss you, you know. I miss you a lot,” Yanjun sniffs, wiping a stray tear. Taking a deep breath, Yanjun shuts his eyes tightly for a few seconds before opening them again. There you were, sitting peacefully in front of him on your grave. You smiled at him and he smiled back. “I...I have a secret to tell you,” he leans in, desperate for your touch. Your ghostly form cutely tilted your head to one side, signaling for him to continue. Yanjun felt himself burning up inside. He chuckles, reconsidering his words. He bit his lips, trying to prevent himself from spilling anything out, but it was too late. He burst. A plethora of colorful flowers flew out through his plump lips. He couldn’t stop them anymore. He couldn’t hold in the secret anymore. He never got the surgery. Yanjun felt himself weakening. He reached out, but your ghostly form had disappeared long ago. Collapsing, his vision was blurred with tears. Yanjun tried to prop himself up with his shaking arms. He felt warm liquid dribble from his mouth, dotting the flowers on the ground with his red blood. Yanjun couldn’t help but smile. Smirking one last time he collapsed and with his last breath, he whispered only words you could hear. “I never stopped loving you.” --- There he lay, right next to your grave, his sparkling eyes shut closed, a serene look on his face, his signature smirk now permanent on his fresh corpse. An assortment of anemones, pink carnations, and forget me nots scattered all around him. Some of the flowers had been whisked over on top of your grave from the cool summer breeze. The shiny, red droplets of blood shone under the bright summer sun. It was a peaceful summer.

~Admin Liz ♡

[tacendaletter]

Mémoires: Eyes

“I could look into your eyes forever,” Yanjun said as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. It made her giggle. “Look at you being all mushy, Mr. Steal yo’ girl.” “Oh shut up. Let me have this beautiful moment for once,” he squeezed her cheek and grinned. There was a short pause.

“I like looking at your eyes even more than the stars,” he admitted, hoping the stars in the sky overhead wouldn’t get jealous of the beauty in her eyes and decide to take it away from her, from him. He hoped the heavens would never do that.

“It’s just that I can see so much in them. They shine brighter than the stars when you get excited about stupid stuff. I can see the pain in them. I can see your soul. I can see who you are. I can see you. There is nothing more that I want. I don’t want the night sky. I don’t want the sun. I don’t want the snow. I just want you.”

Halfway through his little rant, she was about to interrupt him and make fun of him being so cheesy, not knowing how to handle hearing such great words about herself since she certainly wasn’t used to it.

But during the second half of his little rant, he took the bit of breath away that she still had in her lungs. Now she couldn’t breathe.

She didn’t even realize that she wasn’t breathing until she desperately needed air.

Her sharp inhale made him laugh in return.

“Oh my god, you’re such an idiot. What the hell, I can’t even begin to compre-” But she didn’t even finish her sentence, the mindless rambling as her brain couldn’t form a real response to his words, because he shut her up – by kissing her. Without a second thought, she closed her eyes, but it didn’t last long. He pulled away not even a few seconds later, smiling at her with such love in his eyes that she almost cried.

“Yeah, I love you, too, idiot,” he grinned again, and she couldn’t respond in any other way but smiling at him.

She hoped it was enough to convey her message.

It was hard to love herself, so she was happy that she had someone like him to love her instead.

And who knew, maybe, one day, she’d be able to love herself.

“I love looking into your eyes, too,” she admitted.

“It’s like I finally arrived at home whenever I look at you.”

And she wasn’t even lying. He was her home. In this town. In their little town.

This was home.

Him. And his eyes.

His ever-loving eyes.

General Masterlist | Mémoires Masterlist

[tenecity]

The Gods of Hades and Music

—Summary: All you were trying to do, was to complete a stupid assignment, that you’re not even supposed to do. Who knew that a simple task could get out of hand?

masterlist | back | thirteen | next

—THIRTEEN 

“Oh, screw it.” You mutter, huffing as you got out of your chair, the chair scraping against the concrete floor. “Who the hell cares about his father. For tian’s sake, we are Exousia, we aren’t supposed to be afraid of puny clients.”

Ziyi merely raises his eyebrows and with a firm shake of his long locks, he turns back to his work, a small section just falling over his solemn eyes.

For once, you wished Justin was here to persuade Ziyi, but hell no, he had made an appointment, a study date, with Fan Chengcheng. A study date. Would you believe that.

Sighing, you carelessly brush away the fallen strands and tuck it behind Ziyi’s ear. “Ge, please? Linkai is getting bored, and I’m bored, and I want to go to the amusement park. Please??” You practically beg him, pouting, trying to entice him with puppy eyes, but none of them work.

“You can see Xukun too.” You mutter, hand dropping as it comes to rest on the armrest of his seat. It’s a low blow, and you know it. But it’s the last card you have in your hand.

He closes his eyes and sighs.

Why do you always win?

-

Linkai drags you towards the rollercoaster, and you’re starting to regret this. “Why the rollercoaster??? Do you know how dangerous it is?” You complain as he pouts at you. “Oh come on, don’t be a spoilt sport. Life’s all about taking risks, isn’t it?” He shakes your arm excitedly and you roll your eyes at his childish gestures.

“Oh tell me about it,” You mutter under your breath as he drags you towards the large loop, the blood curdling screams from the carriage hung upside down turns your gut inside out, but at least you’re not cooped up in your room, so that’s something, I suppose.

Ziyi looks like he is about to have a mini heart attack as he follows behind you with a silent Xukun, trying hard to persuade Linkai out of it.

“Linkai, I know you love these kind of things, but can you please reconsider-”

“And the two of you are supposed to be from Exousia.”

“Will you keep it down?” You hush him, looking about, half afraid that someone will spot you.  

“The carousel looks nice.” Ziyi tries again as he points towards the cute miniature ponies going round and round, the only people there are those whiny 5 year old kids and their old parents.

“Linkai, please??? I promise I’ll buy you something nice afterwards.”

Your puppy eyes make him weak in the knees and he raises his hands in surrender, a huge sigh coming from his mouth as he allows himself to be dragged by you, a suppressed smile on his face.

Why do you always win?

-

“You better buy me something nice.” He groans as the carousel goes another round. “Does anyone here know how to pick up the speed? There’s no excitement in this thing. At all. At all.” He mutters under his breath grumpily.

“Oh come on. At least the two of them aren’t with us, right?” You comment, nodding towards the two bodyguards who are very much engaged in a heated conversation.

“That’s true.”

He cocks his head to the side, thinking for a moment. But the words already fall out of his lips and he asks the question he has been dying to ask since day 1. “What happened between them though?” Linkai asks as he stretches his arm, fingers grazing your shoulder. You shrug, leaning into his careful touch. “No idea. Ziyi wouldn’t say, Justin tells me to shut up whenever I try to ask.”

“Well, and why do you want to know?”

You raise your eyebrows, turning towards him. “And why do you want to know?” Only, the words come out slightly breathless.

Your hands folded on your lap, his fingers brushing your elbow, you didn’t know when he came so close, but the moment you tilted your head to look at him, the only thing you see are his pink, soft lips, that, by the way, look extremely inviting. His breaths are shallow and rapid, as they fan over your lips, and you unconsciously bite on them, your fingers curling into a fist, fingernails digging into the flesh.

You wonder what it would be like to close the distance, eyes fluttered shut as you press your lips against his. They look soft and velvety, heavenly, pillowy. You suppress a small sigh rising in your throat, your throat visibly moving as you swallow hard, eyes fixated on his lips.

But the moment only lasts for a few seconds, and Linkai clears his throat, retracting his hand, as his eyes wander to somewhere else.

To say you were disappointed would be an understatement.

-

Ziyi rubs his temples as his elbows rest on his knees, his head hung low as he concentrates on the stone floors. “Xukun, there is really no point in bringing this up.”

“Yes there is, Wang Ziyi. You literally left your boyfriend, who you claim you love, all alone, isolated, unprotected-”

“You weren’t alone, neither were you isolated or unprotected. You were in a bodyguard training academy, Xukun.” Ziyi retorts, his nails digging into his palm, red crescents forming on the pale skin.

“I didn’t mean that kind of isolation and unprotection. Ziyi, you left without a word. You didn’t even tell me! All I remember, is waking up to a cold bed, and then I had to find out from Zhengting that you left!” Xukun broke into an outburst, his rage and frustrations, the years of hurt and injustice building up once again in his chest, rising with tension.

“Did you have any idea what you did to me? Do you,” Xukun swallows, his words becoming softer as he retracts into a shell, a vulnerable, rare state.

He swallows again, and the words stumble out.

“Do you even care?”

Ziyi takes in a sharp intake of breath and looks up.

“Of course I did! There has never been a day where I live without regret. I hated myself for leaving you. It was irresponsible of me and it hurt you. I hated it so, so much. But Xukun, I had no choice. Exousia was moving up the charts, Yanjun couldn’t take care of YN, she was only a kid then, a mere kid of 14! Who suffers from PTSD and other mental illness and whatnot! She needed me, Xukun-”

“More than I needed you?” Xukun asks abruptly, the words flowing like a stream, and he couldn’t even stop himself from saying them.

A pregnant silence follows.

“Xukun, stop it.” Ziyi says through gritted teeth, eyes closing and fluttering open. 

“You know how much the kid means to me. I love her, almost as much as I, I, love you. Though, though it’s a different kind of love.” He bites his lips, and looks away, squinting as the setting sun shines in his eyes.

He brings his hand up to shield the strong light rays, beating down mercilessly on him. He sighs. “You didn’t need me Kun.” The words whisper and like a needle, it pricks Xukun’s heart, salty droplets forming at the corner of his eyes.

“I did. I really needed you. Ziyi, please, can we-”

“We can’t go back to the same way it was before Xukun.” Ziyi doesn’t bother hearing Xukun’s request, standing up, hands in his pockets as he leans against the rough bark of the tree.

“It’s not the same anymore. We’re on two completely different sides. You’re on the cops and clients side; I’m on the other, much darker side. It doesn’t fit.”

“It will. We can make it fit.” Xukun is practically pleading him at this point.

Eyelids fluttering shut, he whispers out the words he wants to say the most.

“Please stay.”

And the small shake of Ziyi’s locks was his only answer.

-

“Oh come on, who cares? Look their busy arguing, they wouldn’t even notice us leaving.” You beg Linkai as you get off the carousel, looking at him pleadingly. Sighing, he rolls his eyes and nods resolutely, a small smile creeping on to his face as he watches you break into a grin, silently pulling him away towards the cotton candy store.

“A blue one please.”

“And a pink one.” You add on to the order, winking at him, giggling at his scrunched up face.

“I didn’t know I was going to pay for you as well.” His eyebrows furrowed, arms crossed.

“Awh, come on! Just buy me this once please?? Pleaseeee? Wang Linkai, I promise you I will pay you back in some way or another.”

He raises his eyebrows as he hands the cotton candy towards you, the other arm extended as he exchanges his money for the blue one.“Oh yeah? In what form, may I ask?”

You laugh at his seriousness, winking at him once more. “How does a kiss on the cheek sound?”

Red rushing to his ears and his face, down his neck, dissolves you into giggles as he adorably looks down, feet unconsciously tapping unrhythmically. A warm sensation bubbles in your chest as you watch him smile a little, the warm sun rays glowing on his milky white skin, his hair tied up in a neat, soft ponytail, looking like everything you could ever wish for.

-

“What kind of-” Linkai retorts as he looks up. YN is nowhere to be seen. Gone. How long has he looked at the floor? His teeth catch his lips, wild panic rising and bubbling in his chest, like hot water in a pot. Where is she? How could she have just-

“Wait what-”

And then a mask.

And then black.

The last thought on his mind as he slips out of consciousness, is where has he seen that X before?

-

note: why is it called cotton candy, when it’s not made out of cotton? but then if the rule is to follow the second word, why is cotton wool made out of cotton? PLEASE ANSWER ME I NEED ANSWERS

[comingtoyugray]

Lin Yanjun - Cafe Encounters

- He orders an americano

- You ordered a lavender latte

- Both of your drinks are finished at the same time

- Your hands bump into each other while reaching for your respective drinks

- “Ladies first” you blush b/c who tf wouldn’t at that gorgeous face and sexy af voice

- You grab your drink and run out the door -yikes-

- You run into him again at the cafe every day around the same time for the next week.

- For some reason your orders are always done together (it’s like the barista is trying to set you two up or something)

- Today you catch him in the parking lot and finally work up the courage to say something “Hey you’re a regular at XXX Cafe right? I’m y/n”

- “I’m Yanjun. Nice to finally put a name to the face” he extends his hand for a handshake and you don’t fail to notice how perfectly your hand fits into his

- You learn that he’s new in town and offer to show him your fave local spots

- So the two of you exchange numbers

- Weekly tours turn into dinner dates

- One night, when the two of you are having an evening picnic, he pops the question “Y/n, what are we?”

- “What do you want us to be?”

- He doesn’t answer and at this point you’re low key freaking out internally

- He reaches up to brush a stray strand of hair out of your face and gazes into your eyes

- When he sees that yours reflect the same warmness and love, he doesn’t hesitate and leans in

- You know when they say there’s a spark... well this is like a fucking fireworks show

- His soft lips mold against yours as your eyes close in response

- At that moment, everything felt just right

Wew so cliche. 10/10 will prob delete this later

[ao3feed-idolproducer]

You mermake me happy

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2ICGV0Y

by starrywons

based off a prompt i saw somewhere on tumblr (i've lost the link though rip so if anybody knows please let me know so i can credit!)

“I am a simple mermaid trying to get a simple college education and you f**KERS KEEP PREVENTING THAT BY THROWING WATER BALLOONS AT ME FIVE MINUTES BEFORE CLASS SO IM STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE F*CKING QUAD FOR A HOUR UNTIL IT WEARS OFF” (Alternatively, I was skipping class and saw you trying to drag you and your huge ass tail through the courtyard–do you need help? I guess I can carry you to class if you’d like, though I’m not so sure this was worth being called ‘Prince Eric’ for the next two weeks)

Words: 2301, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV), NINE PERCENT (Band)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Lin Yanjun, Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung

Relationships: Lin Yanjun/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2ICGV0Y

[malboraslihan]

Most wanted faces for your new verse please!

lizeth selene, teresa seco, madison bailey, zion moreno, cindy mello, jay critch, reece king, chloe bailey, lisa.onuoha, jamilla strand, mason gooding, evan mock, christina nadin, isabelle mathers, zahara davis, sab zada, aj clementine, imaan hammam, chance perdomo, lin yanjun, savannah lee smith, alissa violet, aisha potter, aron piper, michael yerger and jack gilinsky are some on the top of my mind now. if you need anything more specific or more faces, let me know <3

[tacendaletter]

Mauka & Makai Chapter 1

In which life was what happened while everyone was busy making other plans – and life didn’t need to be gentle to anyone.

Pairing: Yanjun? x OC || uni!au

Genre: Angst. A whole lot of it. Also, not a genre, but Li Mei and Zhengting are friendship goals.

Preview | Chapter 2 | Masterlist

Chapter 1 – “Don’t apologize.”

“Li Mei,” my brother weakly said, nudging my arm. Alarmed, I shot up from my position on the sofa, ripped out of my half-asleep state. My eyes frantically looked for my brother’s. “No, don’t worry. I’m okay,” he immediately spoke before I could ask the typical tirade of questions. This little confirmation about his well-being was relieving, making me fall back into the sofa. He threw an apologetic smile my way, but I waved it off. “You’re tired. You should go to bed,” he put a strand of hair behind my ear before he started playing with another strand of it. His eyes were trained on my hair, effectively avoiding my eyes. “I’m sorry I kept you up. You were obviously exhausted. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

I scowled.

Since when did he have to feel sorry for wanting to spend time with me? Beside university, (former) work and taking care of him, there wasn’t a lot of free time to enjoy for the both of us, so I was actually thrilled when he had asked me to do a Disney marathon with him once I had returned from university. I was happy that he was well enough today to do that. On other days, it wasn’t possible. I felt sorry for him, and in a sense, sorry for myself, too. I felt sorry for the both of us, but mostly him. He was two years younger than me. He was my responsibility. He only had me. “Kun, don’t,” I warned him, which made his gaze shoot up to my eyes again. “Don’t apologize. I love you dearly, my lovely, adorable little brother.”

Xukun got shy, and wanted to hide his face behind his hands, but I was quicker. I squished his cheeks, much to his dismay. Letting out sounds of disapproval, Xukun tried to pry my hands away. Eventually, I let go, but instead grabbed his wrist to pull him into a hug. “I love you, Kun. And I am always happy when you feel well enough to do things like this and we can watch movies together. I love you and even though university was tiring, I will always still have time for you at the end of the day. Remember that, yeah?” Leaning back, I could see the tears in his eyes threatening to spill. In shame, he turned his head away, but I caught his chin and turned it back to me, wiping a tear that escaped.

“I am so sorry for being a burden,” he suddenly burst out, taking me by surprise. I froze in my movement. Burden? Xukun? Never. “Ah hell no, darling,” I repositioned myself to sit face to face with him. Wiping his tears, I cupped his face for him to look me in the eyes. “I love you, Kun,” I kissed his nose. “You could never be a burden to me. Never, do you understand?” Staring at me for a few seconds, Xukun slowly nodded, laying his hands over mine. “I love you with all my heart. We are not responsible for our situation, it is not your fault, and you are certainly not at fault for my exhaustion. I love you, Kun. I love you and that will never change. You are not a burden.” He sniffed, caressing the back of my hand with his thumb, gently removing my hands from his face.

“I love you, too, Li Mei.”

“When’s your last lecture? Do you have some time after uni?” Yanjun asked as he walked beside me in the halls. I looked at him. “Sadly, no,” I replied as I looked at my watch. “My neighbor should be bringing my brother to the hospital right now. I will go there after uni.” Yanjun’s eyebrows slightly knitted together in a manner of empathy at the mentioning of Xukun. “How is he doing?” he inquired. I stopped walking once we were in front of my lecture hall and a sigh escaped my lips before I could stop myself. “He’s been quite well lately, but I know it’s only a matter of time until he will feel worse again. I’m trying to enjoy my time with him. Yesterday, he was even well enough to do a little Disney marathon with me.” I weakly smiled. A small smile was also playing around Yanjun’s lips.

“Sounds nice… Hey, do you want me to come along?” His sudden suggestion threw me off a little bit and I think it showed on my face because Yanjun gave me an assuring smile. “It’s been a while since I last saw him,” he added and I contemplated for a moment. “Well, it’s a routine check up, so it will be boring. You could come over on Friday, though, if you want,” I turned down his offer. It wasn’t because I didn’t want him around. It was because Xukun didn’t look all too well this morning, and I knew he’d be embarrassed to have someone else see him in a state like that, except me, Zhengting and our lovely neighbor.

Speaking of her, I couldn’t express just how grateful I was towards her. She didn’t need to look after Xukun while I was gone, nor did she have to bring him to the hospital whenever I couldn’t. But she still did anyway, because she was compassionate and empathetic. It all started once I had a mental breakdown in the hallway of our building complex a year ago and she happened to come home at the time with her teenaged child. She listened to the emotional me; about how everything seemed so hard, how I barely could pay for the bills and his treatment, how I took night shift after night shift because the money wasn’t enough, and therefore was very sleep deprived, and how I even had contemplated to drop out of uni. She felt sorry for me, and offered to look after him while I was out, as she was “merely a housewife, who had much time on her hands,” like she had told me, and wouldn’t mind looking after a sweetheart like my brother. I felt ashamed, as it felt like I wasn’t capable of getting my shit together and lead my own life, but I took her up on her offer. I had needed it, then.

And I still needed it now.

To keep myself from getting used to her jumping in for me and taking her for granted, I reminded myself to get her gifts from time to time, to show her that I appreciated everything she did for us. “Well, okay. I’d like to. Greet him from me, okay?” Yanjun ripped me out of my thoughts and I needed a moment to realize what he was talking about at first. “We can meet up after uni then and go together,” he said as he started walking backwards, waving at me, walking to his own lecture. “Will do,” I answered before entering the lecture hall. Another Finance lecture, another lecture closer to graduation. I couldn’t wait for it. As I entered, my focus shifted right to the seats Zhengting and I normally always sat in and I smiled weakly once our eyes met. Sitting down next to him, I greeted the guy of the same age.

“Hey,” he replied, looking a little worried. “You look very tired. Did you even sleep?” The worry was written all over his face as he looked at me. I smiled at him. “I got little sleep because I watched movies with Kun.” Zhengting looked slightly surprised at that revelation. “He was well enough for that?” I nodded, an honest smile spreading on my face. “Well, that’s good,” he smiled, looking a lot more relaxed now. “He has a check up today, right?” I nodded again. “Should I accompany you?” It was the same offer, but the situation was a little different when it came to Zhengting. “Yes, please.” Our families had been close-knitted even before the two of us had been born, so we practically grew up together, and we were happy kids until everything started going downhill. Back then, Ting had been the only person I didn’t distance myself from.

He was my rock, you could say. My rock in hard times.

His family had offered many times to pay for Kun’s treatment, but I had always turned them down. It had felt selfish to take them up on that offer. They were rich as entrepreneurs, but we weren’t their responsibility. I could understand that they felt like we were, maybe, because our mothers had been friends since they had been in college, but I couldn’t accept that. Well, I didn’t until I had that mental breakdown. Ting’s family has been paying for Kun’s treatment and our living expenses ever since, so I didn’t need to work anymore. It lifted an immense weight off my shoulders, but it made me feel weak and regretful in return. For some reason, I felt weak because I couldn’t do it myself. I couldn’t go through life without being dependent on others – as a grown woman. I know I shouldn’t, but still… “I got Kunkun a few new games, so he wouldn’t be bored in your absence for at least a while.” I smiled at Zhengting. “Thank you. You’re an angel, did you know that?” Zhengting only smiled brightly and ran his hand through my hair. “Whatever makes it easier for my sister from another mother and mister.” I feigned throwing up, and Ting and I both laughed.

“Thanks, Ting. I owe you.”

He only shook his head.

“No, you don’t. Not at all.”

“Hey. How’s my favorite man doing?” I sat down on the hospital bed, trying to fake a playful vibe. I felt anything but that in reality. Zhengting sat down on the other side of the edge of Xukun’s bed. Latter sighed. He was too tired to even reply to my teasing. The privilege of Ting’s parents paying also meant VIP treatment for Kun, so he had a room for himself whenever he needed to stay in the hospital. “They said I will have to stay over night.” One could clearly hear the disappointment in his voice. “I would rather go home with you.” I sighed and ran my fingers through his hair. I could see Ting giving him an empathetic smile in my peripheral vision. “I know. I’d also rather have you at home than here, but it’s for the best.” “I got you a few games, so you wouldn’t get bored,” Ting fished out said games from his bag as he spoke and waved them in the air with a smile. We had driven to Ting’s house in his own car to get them before we came here. Xukun’s eyes immediately lit up at the sight of the games.

“I love you,” he blurted out without much thought, making us laugh. His cheeks turned pink immediately and he hid himself under the blanket. Ting chuckled. “I love you, too, little one.” Once Kun came back into view, Ting ruffled through his hair. “We’ll go back home to get you your console and also necessities later.” He handed the games over and Xukun read through all the descriptions. “Oh! I’ve been wanting to play this one for a while now!” he found one that particularly interested him, his eyes sparkling even more than before. I smiled. “You definitely won’t get bored then,” I said, but held up my finger a second later. “But promise me that you won’t stay up all night playing and at least try to get some sleep, okay?” Xukun grinned at me like an innocent middle school boy. “Promise.” “Pinky promise?” I held out my pinky for him to wrap his own around. With a smile, he did. “Pinky promise.” With that, it was settled.

“By the way, greetings from Yanjun,” I suddenly remembered. I had completely forgotten – almost. Xukun lifted both of his eyebrows. “Yanjun? I haven’t seen him in a while,” Kun said. “What has he been up to?” “He’s been concentrating on uni. This semester is important for all of us, as it’s the last. So there isn’t anything new, except that he seems a little extra stressed on some days.” Xukun thoughtfully nodded his head, a slight scowl on his face. I wondered what he was thinking about. “He’s going to come over on Friday. If you feel up to it, we can watch movies or play games. If you feel well enough, we might even be able to take a walk.” Kun smiled. “That sounds nice. We haven’t taken a walk in a long time.” My smile turned a little sad. “Yeah, it really has been a while.”

Caressing his cheek, I looked into his eyes for a while. He just looked back. I could see Ting looking between us two, probably wondering what kind of unspoken conversation we were having right now, but I didn’t want to tell him. The silent conversation lasted only for a few short seconds. “We should get your things now. It’s getting late,” I suddenly sat up and Ting followed suit. “See you, Kun,” I caressed his face and he just smiled at me. Ting pinched his cheek. “See you in a bit, buddy.” Xukun swatted away Ting’s hand in feigned annoyance, and the three of us laughed together. Playfully, the older male threw Kun a kiss with his hand and latter just rolled his eyes. I grinned as I watched Ting ruffle up his hair once more. “Until later,” Kun grinned as we left.

“Do you want to stay over at my house tonight?”

Zhengting suddenly asked, making me stop packing spare clothes into a bag. I turned around to him and saw him holding out Kun’s console to me. I took it from him and stuffed it into the bag, getting up to look for the charger. I wasn’t sure if the battery was still full. “Why are you asking?” I countered, not looking at Ting as I rummaged through the box that normally had all the chargers we owned in it. “You haven’t been over in a long time, and since Kunkun is staying at the hospital you might be a little lonely all by yourself here. You will also be able to get more sleep because we’re faster with my car than you always walking with Yanjun.” I turned around to him. He was looking at me expectantly.

I could see the hope of not being rejected in his eyes. “After uni tomorrow, I can also pick up Kunkun with you and bring you home. My parents would also be happy to see you again.” I just stared at him as I was contemplating. Ting was as close to a second brother to me as one could get, and to be honest, all of this sounded too nice to turn it down. So I agreed. “That actually sounds like a really nice offer. Just a warning, though: I still talk in my sleep, apparently.” Ting just laughed. We had hilarious stories about this sleeping habit of mine. “I can’t wait to have another hilarious inside joke,” Ting just grinned as we were done packing Kun’s stuff and almost ready to go. “Now I just need to pack a few of my things, too.” “Pack things you can leave at my house. Clothes you don’t necessarily wear often, so you don’t have to carry so much in the future.” “Will do,” I smiled up at him, giving him a short hug before running to my small room.

I was truly blessed to have someone like Zhengting in my life.

Masterlist | Chapter 2