#yall really mad at Rhys for this?

[hlizr50]

HOFAS spoilers...

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[echotzzz]

“Elain should stop being annoying and accept Lucien already”

umm okay since when woman rejected or disliked a man… annoying??

Do Acotar fandom understand what it means to accept a mating bond??

It means you will bind yourself to that other person FOREVER. Be it your soul, body everything. He is yours and you are his. Like they cant get divorce or start a new life w someone else if that fail. This is not a simple bf/gf thing like this is a big deal, very permenant and forever once u accept. Its completely fine if you two ALREADY FALLEN IN LOVE and the mating bond is there to seal the deal. Like that’s romantic

But for Elain that never was the case. She has NO FEELINGS for Lucien. Her heart belongs to Graysan when her mating bond was revealed. And when she start to move on from him she develop feelings for Azriel along the process.

Like cant yall understand why she couldnt just “accept” Lucien.

“But she should give Lucien a chance”

this mentality or mind set really falls down to the mating bond and how the majority of the fandom sees the mating bond only from Lucien’s pov. Yeah he’s hurting not denying that and its sucks for him. But cant people sees this from Elain’s pov as well??

The place she came from there is no mating bond. She turned fae against her will and suddenly said to be some Fae’s mate whom she doesnt know anything about and whom she sees as the one who “betrayed her family” whether he’s guilty or not, but In her mind Lucien literally allied with the bad people that kidnapped her. Do you think Elain will ready to fall in love w him?? or attempts to open her heart for him??Like lets be real no bs if you’re in Elain postion will you see Lucien as this trustworthy, safe, worthy of her love kind of guy? I need people to be serious here coz Elain reaction to lucien made perfectly sense to me I dont know why people are so mad!! the first reaction of Elain to him were: “She cringed away from the coat, from him” .

Her being wary around him made sense to me and some people even went further to said Elain’s racist or a snob needs to bffr. Yall insane.

People would say it will be like feysand coz they also start in a bad place coz rhys is the ‘villain’ in book 1 but Feyre first word abt rhys was he’s the most beautiful man she ever seen. Theres ATTRACTION. AND HATE. which is good coz when there’s hate there’s PASSION and that could lead to FEELINGS.

and believe it or not Elain and Lucien did try spent time w e/o. Remember that tea time and in acofas?

And theyre being so polite to each other too. Elain is indifferent towards him. There is just awkwardness. Both Elain and Lucien has no interest in bridging the gap. Both cannot stand in e/o presence in a room more than 2 min (Lucien’s word not mine). Visiting Elain is not always in Lucien’s agenda when he’s in the night court. And thats canon per Acofas & Acosf. They’re just not into each other. You cannot tell me the reason Lucien even look at Elain is not because of the mating bond. Attraction and feelings cannot be forced full stop.

“Elain need to learn how to cope coz mating bond is her culture now”

She started gaining control of her life. Which readers expect that of her right?? to have a backbone? to be the narrator of her own FATE? RIGHT????

so why is it so shocking and oh so horrible for Elain to not want her mating bond? We see previous MCs rebel and protest to fight for their story but why drew a line for elain?

we accept her character development to be this independant woman who would not be coddled, some even want her to leave the Night Court to find her true self.

We want all the above for her EXCEPT her control over her love life. When it comes down to the person she should love, kiss and fuck, In that terms Elain should submit to the bond and just shut up??????

“Oh no how dare she reject her mate!! how dare she liked Azriel and not her mate!! the audacity, she’s so blind to his kindness, the jacket, the gloves, the pearl he gave her!! how dare she be so annoying and hurts his feeling. Elain GET IT TOGETHER HOE!!!%*\”

Cant yall see how irony this is?? What happened to attraction and feelings? Does that should be thrown out of the window?

Why is it a rocket science for Elain to actually like Azriel?? This fandom worship Azriel and want him to fuck them in their dreams (im not making this up). Why its ok for the readers to be attracted to Az but not Elain??

Its not rocket science its just this fandom already has this mindset about the mating bond and the perks of having a mate. Feysand and Nessian are what successful mate couple look like.

But we shouldnt be naive enough to believe that ALL MATING BOND ARE HEALTHY

Theres a lot of unhealthy mating bond mentioned briefly such as tamlin’s and Rhysand’s parents and a couple more from the Creacent City series.

Rhys said the mating bond is not a perfect system.

You can feel bad for Lucien. Thats fair. And it sucks to know that male has stronger mate instinct than the female. But what yall cant do is to put the blame on Elain. Both Elain and Lucien are the victim of the mating bond. The fault belong to the Mating Bond system and the Society that urge male to covet their female mate and have whatever it takes to make the bond work.

Wouldnt his fan wants him to find his own person who loves him for who he is? Thats literally what Lucien craves for. Acceptance. Atp Elain’s body language and reaction showed that she’s anything but accept him. And truly I dont see that will change anytime soon. SJM has spent 4 books and not any point we see Elain beginning to change her mind. Acosf literally showed that.

“If Elain will not end up with Lucien then why haven’t she properly reject him yet?”

This is not real life. Yeah!!! Elain’s happened to be a book character. And in books there are storytelling aspects and huge plot reveal. You cannot expect a huge moment in a character’s arc be done in any other people pov?

Like why people really want the news of Elain finally rejecting Lucien be in Nesta’s pov? Wheres the fun in that?? it didnt make any sense. Obv SJM is waiting for it to be in ELAIN’S BOOK whenever that will come out. So cant yall just wait?? Like pls just think for a sec.

“Elain doesnt deserve Lucien”

okayyyyyy…is that a dig at Elain? Coz like I said Lucien deserve someone who wants him for him and thats not Elain and vice versa.

“they should end up together coz they are mates”

Im sorry but mating bond will NEVER be the ultimate factor to fall in love with someone or SJM’s reason for her characters endgame. And certainly not for Elain who will marry for love. For all of grayson fault, Elain did truly loved him once.

Feyre doesnt love Rhys bcoz of the bond, but bcoz of love she agreed to bond w him.

…..

So to end this long post I would remind people that this is a romance story. Where the end game will be two people in love. So ATTRACTION and FEELINGS plays a huge role for the build up.

Also I highly think Lucien or the mating bond are not what Elain hates the most. I think she hate the fact that she has no say in this. That her choice are being taken away. And everyone around her expecting her to just accept the bond.

I genuinely dont have anything against people that actually ship elucien for their aesthetic and really hope for their endgame. Some people want Elain & Lucien to break the mating bond together to free themsleves of the fate that control their choices and along the way get to know e/o and developing feelings and so on. See!! this is a good story which doesnt diminish anyone’s character arc and certainly allow all characters to have a choice. “I love u for who u are and not because of the bond” Like with SJM masterful writing that could be pretty lit.

With that being said, I really side eyed and hate those who treat Elain as the devil incarnate for refusing Lucien and called her “shallow, dumb, indecisive, selfish” follow with “she will see her mistake, she will beg forgiveness, she will realise that she’s so blind to the-” oh no no no

Her feelings are valid. Refusing Lucien has been put as one of her flaws or why she should be hated is SO CRAZY to me. Yall dont want people to coddles her or treat her like a child so then…pls start accepting her words as it is. Dont try to twist it or double it down. If she says she’s part of the night court, then she’s part of the night court. If she says she doesnt owe Lucien anything, that means she doesnt owe him shit.

[wa-royal-tea]

End of Part 3: Act 2

Hiiii yall! Sorry it took me a while to say my thanks to everyone who has been following the story so far. I realised I haven’t said my thanks when “The One” arc ended and I’m terribly sorry for that. I wanted to save up my thanks to the actual end for the 2nd act of this part bcs wow, act 2 has been super long compared to the pervious ones 💀 Trust me when I say I didn’t expect for it to take this long.

First and foremost, I’d like to thank my collab partner, Miss @thebrixtons for joining in the madness of collabing with me. She has been helping me with developing Alfina’s story and also letting a passing joke became a reality lol! Alfina won’t happen without her. Thank you for borrowing Edward, Mary, Clem, Rhys, Aubrey, and Sumiko to me. Oh, and “Mist” too 😋. I look forward to the chaos you probably have planned in your story!😚 And thank you too for building the cathedral Alfina married in! It was stunning 🥺😭

I’d also like to thank everyone who sent me their sims for Alfina’s wedding. Thank you for accepting my invitation and being part of their big day ❤

I want to thank all my readers, new and old for following the story and sending me asks throughout this 2nd act. I am very entertained with the amount of theories some of you guys have come up with 😂 There are some theories that had me wondering if any of you guys somehow got into my Notion & Milanote account and read what I have planned bcs you guys are too smart! 😂 Some of you had a theory right up to a T but because I want to keep what I had planned a secret, I had to come up with various lies and denial. And for that, I apologise 😌 Thank you for keeping me entertained with the asks that was sent my way! I love each and every one of it. You guys really made my day 😊❤

I’ve hit several milestones during the duration of this part and I want to thank everyone who has been there since this blog first came to be and up to this moment. I would also want to welcome new readers to the ship. Hi, new people, I hope you’ll enjoy your ride while you’re here! 😂 Thank you for being here! I can’t express the amount of gratitude I have for each and every one of you 🥺

Lastly, I have several extras I’ll be posting in the coming days. I’d like to warn my younger readers, minors especially, to block the #sims spice tag bcs the next few posts is going to be a bit...spicy (dw, the actual spice will be put under a cut!). It’s Alfina’s honeymoon posts so...you get it. Let them have this, y’all. I’ve put them through hell in this arc and the previous one 😌 But it won’t be just spice tho. I might have a hint or two on what I plan to do next after I come back from my usual story break 😌 Hint; remember the movie au? We’re getting there 🤭

That’s all! I hope you guys have a good day! Take care and stay safe!

- Nina

[fktonofwhatnow]

The Rhys/Tamlin 180 in ACOMAF makes me mad! Like there’s wasted potential there, even if Rhys is endgame. The concept of after the happily ever after is actually pretty cool. There’s real potential in looking at how Tamlin and Feyre deal with the trauma of Amarantha. Having two people realized they’re not right together while still respecting each other is a more adult take than “surprise, Tamlin sux now”, and allows for Feyre to actually make real choices and grow. What's your ACOMAF rewrite?

Damn YALL ARE SPOILING ME WITH THE TAMLIN ASKS ☺️☺️ thank youuu for the ask @havenfable

THIS IS AGREAT POINT TOO WAIT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ALLOWING FEYRE TO ACTUALLY MAKE REAL DECISIONS !! YOUR BRAIN !! you guys are spectacular eat a cookie you have earned it 

Ok my thoughts are not quite coherent rn so I’ll try to make sense. I’ve tried writing this like 4 times and every time it just doesn’t work so bear with me here thank you I love you ok here we go. 

Ok I’m gonna start by saying that there is something to be said about Feyre as the narrator and her being an “unreliable” narrator of sorts. The story is about her, told from her perspective. I don’t expect her to have objective views of what happens around her. one thing I found interesting was that she said in conversations with people that she knew Tamlin was struggling, but when we would be listening to her internal monologue, when she thought of him it was mostly to blame him for not knowing she was struggling. (or if he did know, he didn't do anything about it) So like, same thing with the whole thing with Rhysand's mom and sister, we don't know what Tamlin thinks or feels about the situation because he doesn't talk about it and Feyre never asks. (But oh DAMN Sarah should not have given me room to speculate.) Like, UTM broke Feyre right, she tells us that much. Why are we not allowed to believe that it destroyed Tamlin too.

Here we are again, just like with Rhysand's family. I don't blame Feyre for literally needing help, and I do blame Tamlin for not helping her, but to a degree. I hated how the whole situation was handled like Tamlin was shit for not trying to help Feyre (even tho he was, just not in the way she needed), but then Feyre literally not lifting a single finger to try to help Tamlin is ok because he's a man and he can just suck it up and take it. ???? No ? That's not how we handle trauma? Like, my homeboy is fighting a losing battle against this shit and he's the one who's gotta fix everything for Feyre?

But like you said, just a tiny little bit of helpful communication would have done wonders. How about a lil, "hey you ok?" ???? LETS TALK ABOUT IT! Let's talk about how we're falling out of love, let's talk about what Tamlin experienced under the mountain, let's talk about what Feyre experienced under the mountain, let's talk about how maybe we were never good for each other and how we move on with our lives from that! POTENTIAL !! LETS HAVE THEM GROW "Surprise! Tamlin sucks now!" bitch how. Literally how. How did this happen. How did we get here. Tell me. I want to know SJm. Stop being a coward and tell me. You know what, I'll do it for you.

Damn this is about to be super duper long I'm so sorry. 

Alrighty guys once again, I love Tamlin with my whole chest, but I do put a hefty chunk of this on him. From what SJm tells us about Tamlin, he is a fearful individual. His responses to fear are either to freeze or to explode. Both extremes hurt people around him. His actions hurt people, and his lack of action hurts people. Also, for as often as he says the word sorry, he doesn't really show any signs of change or improvement. While I understand that yes , changing your behavior is hard, especially if you're not getting help and don't know how, Tamlin still could have tried a little more, pushed just a little harder, and yes, he could have been better.

But Tamlin is scared. He's scared of things outside of his control, he's scared of change, he's scared of people he loves leaving him or getting hurt. I'm willing to bet he's scared of himself, and rightfully so. He lashes out and it only ever hurts people. I can't believe he's blind to it. When he destroys the study, he's clearly afraid he hurt Feyre.

(i think I’m gonna do my acomaf rewrite headcanons in a different post, every time I try to write them here it doesn’t flow oooof lemme know if thats something you want ahahah I could talk about this shit forever) 

And like, being subject to someone else's fear is stifling. I don't blame Feyre for getting the hell out of there.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I know I've said this before: in my opinion, Tamlin has the best depiction of trauma in the whole fucking series. PTSD is a bitch and Tamlin is losing to it. The thing I loathed about acomaf/the beginning of Acowar is how Tamlin isn't given help and then treated like an absolute asshole for it. SJm could have done so much if she had Tamlin learn to ask for help. We can't all just have a Rhysand who knows every thought we have. Sometimes we have to ask for help, as much as we don't want to. That would have done wonders for Tamlin's character arc. And I think that he should have leaned heavily on Lucien for that.

Now look, Lucien deserves a lifetime of free chiropractor visits to relieve the soreness from carrying the entire series solely by himself on his own back. If I'm the one to pay for that for him, so be it. I would do anything for this man.

Lucien deserved so much better than to be bulldozed by the narrative. I refuse to believe that he would let Tamlin use him as a doormat. Lucien deserved to tell Tamlin off on his behavior ok. Lucien deserved a fucking backbone that he had all of acotar and then SJm decided that he was the character who got to suffer for the decisions of every other characters so they didn't have to. Stupid. (At this point I wouldn't be surprised if Rhysand's cum from having sky sex with Feyre fell directly on Luciens face. That's how much SJm likes pummelling him)

Lucien deserves to be strong and tough and emotionally available, especially for Tamlin. I don't think he deserves to be abused by his best friend. I've read fics that make Tamlin like this jackass who's not sad at all that Amarantha forced him to whip his best friend. Are you fucking kidding me. I feel like if Tamlin was going to cling like hell to someone through all of the shit before, during and after UTM, it should be lucien. But no SJm needs us to know Tamlin is a bad guy now. He hurts everyone with no remorse!!! What a villain!!! That was a sin.

Acomaf deserved to be two people talking about how maybe this relationship wasn't going to work out. This book deserved to be Tamlin getting up the courage to as Lucien for help. This book deserved to be Lucien always telling Tamlin that he would be there for him and us getting to watch the two of them overcoming their hardships together. This book deserved to be Feyre choosing her own path, choosing her own family, choosing to live her life as she wanted.

But nah. Rhysand's got a fat cock and uhhh y'all need to like it more than y'all like Tamlin's dick. Also Rhysand is a feminsisist. So suck it.

(If this book was really about giving Feyre a choice, SJm would let her make actual decisions that actually impacted herself and the story instead of just having Rhysand give her two extremes with one of them being obviously the right choice and then tell her whatever she wanted to do was her choice. Feminism.)

Did any of that make any sense. Any at all. No? Yeah I didn't think so anyways I've spent like a week on this I'm tired and I wanted to get it out there. Acomaf was a mess but at least it wasn't Acowar hahahahaha

[nestable]

I saw some people say that rhys was portrayed like a villain in acosf because it was from nestas pov.

1, DUH!

And 2, how do you expect her to see him differently when he threatened, berated and undermined her at every turn. Rhys wasn't different in the story, he was still the same self righteous, tyrannical, homicidal and mean guy. Yall were too blind to see it or acknowledge it because your opinions of him was solely based on feyres love-drunk and biased view. People have been saying that he is eris and tamlin combined but yall ignored us.

Finally, yall are quick to forget that acosf was from cassians view too. You know that right? Cassian the guy who practically worships rhys, who attacked nesta when she had a different opinion about him and expressed how she felt? Cassian who felt he wasnt good enough for rhys? That cassian. Even from his perspective you could tell that rhys isnt really the jesus incarnate yalls delusional led you to believe he is.

Feyres perspective showed rhys' negatives and yall ignored them, nestas shows the same but in a less obscured light and you say Rhys was written that way to redeem nesta, and now even cassians perspective, a perspective of rhys' biggest fan shows him to be the ass he is and yall still dont believe it???

At this point even if sjm came out and explicitly said that rhys isnt a good guy, you would still argue.

Stan your problematic favs, no one is mad at that. Just be honest with yourself and others and just acknowledge that they arent all that good. It's okay. Really. It's okay. Its just fiction.

[angelathewitch]

Okay I just finished the ACOTAR series for the first time and I have so many thoughts so I'm gonna write them down.

Also I have not looked at any fan theories or been a part of this fandom very much so all these headcannons are straight from the noggin:

Literally what the fuck is tamlin doing.

Okay getting this out of the way cause its a hot topic. Azriel is my baby I love him but

I would have mixed feelings about him being with both gwyn and Elaine. I love the idea of Elaine being azriels sunshine he deserves light in his life (also their scene in ACOSF had me ejdjbdksks) but also all three bat boys being with all 3 sisters rubs me the wrong way idk.

Gwyn is amazing because she's a badass bitch and if azriel doesn't snatch that up I will. I feel like azriel almost gets bulldozed over by the other bat boys (like he will do the dirty work only because he feels inferior) And I want gwyn to help him stand up for himself.

Gwyn is an adult jfc. I'd be more worried about her trauma.

I am totally a elucien shipper I'm SORRY lucien deserves the world

But at the same time I would totally understand if Elaine couldn't forgive him for his involvement in the cauldron business. That shit was wack. I just want this relationship to be the biggest, most "period drama esqe" slowburn.

I have very mixed feelings about lucien. On one hand lucien has never had a home and when tamlin took him in I can see how that loyalty blurred the lines of right and wrong. But at the same time lucien messed up MANY times where the archeon sisters are concerned.

Nesta deserved her kick in the ass because it was needed. She did not deserve everyone to be a little bitch to her. It felt like feyre was the only one who wanted her rehabbed for nestas sake. I definitely would have preferred Nesta to hit rock bottom and choose recovery for herself (cause alcoholism and things can only be truly solved through self help) Everyone else was uncharacteristically nonempathetic. Idk how Cassian could be okay with her treatment after they mated.

I'm still digesting Rhys and nestas relationship. I like that they don't like each other for most of ACOSF. Nestas reasons for treating feyre poorly are valid, but not excuses. The feyre, Nesta, and rhys relationship thing is weird cause I see all sides. I need more feyre and Nesta bonding they always get interrupted.

I HATE what SJM did to Mors character. What the fuck is up with mor not liking Nesta. Maybe we will get an explanation in the next book but I feel like mor was set up to be a great LGBT character with himbo allies but SJM just dropped her off a cliff. Big mad.

However I do want eris and mor to end up together. Not necessarily romantically, but I want them to have it out and I want eris to support mor. Kinda want them to be mates. Kinda want eris to be gay as well. Kinda want them to get married and them have consorts.

WHY does everyone treat feyre like a porcelain doll when the IC has more collective trauma than anyone else in this universe. Don't get me wrong I'm all about the hurt/comfort but it was so inconsistently written LOL. When the IC was telling their stories the first night they met and then feyre told hers I cackled like sorry but she is a baby

Rhys's trauma is just as recent as feyres... yeah he's a lot older and seasoned but oh my GOD he was consistently assaulted for 49 years. Feyre does very little to comfort him. Idk I feel like it was SO glossed over.

Like in ACOWAR feyre admits that amaranthas hatred wasn't personal it was general, unlike Tamlins hatred. But amarantha and rhys had multiple personal vendettas against each other. Like his amarantha is vaguely feyres tamlin. Rhys didn't even get to kill amarantha. His trauma is untapped. Rhys is the main character feyre is the love interest idc

Idk what yall say rhys is my baby my lovebug my everything. He's got his flaws but you can't love Nesta and hate him at the same time without being a lil hypocritical

But he's fucked in the head for thinking he was justified in drugging feyre every night for 2 months. Almost more mad about that than the SA (I dont really blame Rhys since it is not cannon to me. SJM just messed up 😌 it was so out of character) did he ever really apologize for that??

ALSO I know smj wanted to write like #consentking but half of what he allowed was so unnecessarily dangerous (like the first AND second weaver encounter- if my SO ran off in the middle of a battle to track down a mysterious creature when the task could have been done after the battle I would have be livid. Mor was justified in being mad.)

I'm so mad rhys didn't flatten tamlin during the high lord meeting. Either it will happen in the future or I will burn these books.

THE BAT BOYS HAVE CONNONICALLY BEEN IN THE SAME ROOM WHILE HAVING SEX. the foursomes in my head gets clearer by the day

I HATE the fact that rhys almost had an existential crisis over feyre being so young when she found her mate and not having "lived" and THEN GETS HER PREGNANT??? Are you kidding me. I'm so mad. I don't wanna deal with babies. I hate babies.

But I DO have a fun headcannon that since the bone carver is a death-god or whatever he KNEW nyx wouldn't survive and that is why he appeared as him. Also when the bone carver offered to take feyres first born in exchange for help rather than the oroboughs I think that was also foreshadowing. The only reason nyx survived was because of Nesta and the bone carver had trouble seeing the cauldron.

((Maybe nyx should have died during the birth idk))

Literally I would have enjoyed ACOSF if instead of the pregnancy feyre was busy looking for bryaxis. Literally what happened to him. Wtf

I know the plot armor is crazy thick around the IC but it would have been nice if one of them died. Well, not nice, but more believable. Maybe thats why nyx should have died. Lol I need therapy.

FREAKING HEADCANNON: the archeon sisters are partially fae. Their mom was definitely a descendant and that's why all three sisters have mates. It was hinted that the sisters had mated because they were powerful and cauldron made but Cassian and rhys could feel the pull before the sisters were turned.

Tarquin is the hottest high lord

The whole blood rite thing was stupid. I would have loved if it was spread out over a longer period of time but it was so unrealistic

You know we all love a good #girlboss🤢 moment but the whole valkarie thing seemed 1. Out of no where 2. Really quickly forced (ACOSF should have been like 2 books) 3. If emerie and mor get together life=complete

The inner circle and ther archeon sisters would not get along if they weren't mated to like 50% of the gang

They're too whiny

It's so weird that the mating bond can only be felt by guys??? Lol wut

Okay I know this is a complicated subject but having LGBTs in a universe with mates based in evolutionary advantage seems more homophobic than having a universe without LGBTs LOL. Like their connection can't be as deep cause they can't procreate?? I did like that SJM made up for it a little by saying not all mates are complementary souls.

Hybern was so powerful and for WHAT. I don't understand

Vassa, lucien, and jurian being a trio is so weird 😐

I WANT A NOVELLA ON THE STORY OF AMREN AND VARIAN. They are my otp. If anyone has made it this far and knows of some good amren and varian fanart pls let me know

Okay that is all for now thank you if you read down to here xoxo gossip girl.

P. S. Also I am starting throne of glass and am having a hard time getting into it. Can anyone vouch for this series please I'm conflicted.

Edit: omg I was zooted when I wrote this and didn't realize my phone autocorrected cassian to Caspian RIP

[watcherintheweyr]

I hate to inform the general population of this but no. Context really doesn't matter here. Nothing excuses SA. Nothing excuses sexual abuse, and he *did not have to do it.*

Rhysand claimed he was doing it to keep her from going mad in the dark cells- but do you honestly think having drugged half-memories of being assaulted, objectified, touched without consent and made into a toy for a man won't damage you mentally?

He also claimed he was doing it to make Tamlin angry, so he'd kill Amarantha when the time came- but why on earth would Tamlin, who killed Rhysand' father with a single blow, who has buried Amarantha's victims with his own two hands, whose best friend was mutilated and tortured for Amarantha's whims, who has now been made more or less into Amarantha's 'pet', and is likely being abused and assaulted himself offscreen, hesitate? Why would he shy away from killing her? She's been obsessed with him since he was little more than a child. He despises her. And he wants to save his people and Feyre. He wouldn't hesitate.

Rhysand objectified and dehumanized and assaulted her. There's no escaping that and his excuses of 'context', do not absolve him, especially because he has **never apologized.** and genuinely, GENUINELY, how the fuck did this save her??? How??? How did him kissing her against her will, which he admitted was done to make Tamlin jealous, to hurt him, save Feyre in any way?

Aww oh boo hoo, Tamlin was being a dick and sexually humiliated Feyre in front of all the High Lords-

Which Rhysand did first. And no one cares or holds it against him.

And furthermore if you're going to call that abuse or humiliation or objectification of Feyre, what exactly do you call Rhys fingering her in front of his subjects, all to maintain his 'mask'? How on earth do you- or he- expect that to garner respect for her or him? Or fear? It's just pity and disgust.

Tamlin made some bitchy, inappropriate comments about the girl who ruined his court and took advantage of his own UTM trauma to warp him and his perception, and thus his court's perception of him. Weakened it to the point that Hybern was able to ruin it and kill his people, alongside Summer's- the girl who, when confronted about that, launched into a tirade about stars eternal like the Night Court is exempt of consequences to their actions. 'We aren't responsible for the choices made by Hybern' Rhys inserts [by this logic Nesta isn't responsible for Feyre choosing to hunt, by the by!], clearly showing where this attitude came from. [His influence on her is scary. Genuinely]

Rhysand took a girl who was being tormented and challenged and pushed to her breaking point with tests in order to free the fae she's fallen in love with, had her painted and dressed in cobwebs, and humiliated and dehumanized her before the High Lords, before Amarantha, before the courts. For bullshit reasons and his own damn satisfaction. It's gross. Yall want your king to be 'morally grey' so stop excusing his shitty actions and calling them good and right!

You hate Tamlin because he sexually harassed Feyre by making a snide remark about their sex life in front of the high lords?

Damn... then you must have REALLYYYY strong opinions about the way Rhys drugged Feyre and forced her to perform lap-dances UTM as well as compared her breasts to apples in front of another high lord and his advisors.

👀👀

[slutsofren]

This newest chapter though!! I love Tarquin so much and I thought he was written wonderfully. I loved their camaraderie and that reader has more friends 🥺. And the trust between them! Oh my god I was so happy reading this. Thank you for the chapter!!! I eagerly (and patiently) await more!! Also as a side note, I’m glad that everyone appreciates Az’s ass. It is a thing of beauty. I also saw that possessiveness 👀 “my Azriel” ohohohohoho!!

omg thank you!! tarquin was def the one character i was really looking forward to developing. like miss girl... miss sjm..... dont give us this whole fine ass man and then NOT give him any kind of attributes other than being a plot device 😭

like, what im going to love sharing is how the friendship between reader and him is based on mutual respect and honesty, even in the face of betraying their allies for the better good. is rhys gonna be mad? ABSOLUTELY. varian and cress? HELL YEAH. and that is gonna be my fav thing to show yall soon :3c

lastly ajjakslf i could not finish that chapter without the "my azriel" part because !!! LOOK AT HIM, tarquin isn't blind to his uhhh assets so to speak teehee

thank you, as always, for your love 🤍🌹

edit: for those that missed it, here's the link to chapter 25 oops

[thebellekeys]

Incoherent thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames (2021) by SJM

Do not expect this to be a critical, unbiased review at all. Eet just ease what eet ease. Spoilers ahead laddies. 

*unwanted preface* 

Okay, so like, you know those things that are neither objectively perfect nor unproblematic yet you love them and are attached to them anyway? Yeah, this is me with SJM’s writing. See, I been with Sarah and Throne of Glass since March of 2015 and with ACOTAR since the summer of 2015 when I was 13 and honestly, ACOTAR in particular occupied a decent portion of my formative teen years. Eventually, when I was about 16 I sort of ended up getting distracted from YA books and went into my thot and kpop era. A main reason for this is that I found ACOFAS particularly disenchanting. This ain’t about that book (sigh) but let’s just say as much as I was still attached to and in love with the ACOTAR world, I was still able to get very annoyed by the decreased quality of the writing and also the evident projecting Sarah was doing onto Feyre with regards to her own life and experiences (ahem). No, the lack of developed POC in the book had nothing to do with it ironically. 

So basically, since the spring of 2018 I haven’t read any SJM yet I never fell out of love with the books either. I’ve sworn off TOG after whatever the hell EOS was, but ACOTAR was always more special and close to my heart by tenfold, honestly. See, the best day of my 2016 was the day I found out ACOTAR was getting the extra 3 novels and 2 novellas. ACOFAS was a dumpster fire but I was actually surprised to really, really enjoy A Court of Silver Flames while it obviously has a couple (multiple) sus facets to it. The susness aside, I thoroughly felt at home reading Nesta’s book despite how irrational that might sound. No, I’m not here to say the book was objectively good but I’m here to say I still enjoyed it despite my love-hate relationship with SJM and her writing. :( :( :( 

That being said imma still roast tf out of a couple aspects of it. :)

*the susness*

Aight wbk that SJM like, projects a lot onto feyrhys right. I’m not even gonna deny it. Like as horrible as it sounds, when feyrhys were, like, struggling as a couple and shit in ACOMAF, that’s when I loved them the most but then the shitstorm that was ACOWAR hit and they couldn’t go without boning every two seconds or calling each other mates and shit and basically every character in the book started kissing their asses (except Nesta) to the point where they were infallibly good and powerful and everyone’s heads were lodged up their asses... I got PISSED OFF then, right.

Now, in ACOSF (is that correct?), they were side characters and, gratefully, that romance between them was toned down. But here are some things concerning feyrhys and the Court of Dreams that irked tf out of me, and the implications that they had for Nesta (who is perhaps one of the baddest bitches ever) had me feeling homicidal towards the IC:

Every single time Nesta said shit about Rhys and then Cassian got mad I wanted to SCREAM like yooo let her roast tf out of him like yeah I get Rhys lowkey did a lot for her both directly and indirectly but cmoooooon not everyone needs to be riding his dick like the man HATED Nesta from the get-go. I loved the idea that someone in the book lowkey abhors Rhys just for the TEA it gave me. Like yeah, okay Cassian, I get that he’s your bro but he can SUCK NESTA’S DICK also like my girl is a DEATH GOD.

Here me out: the Inner Circle completely dehumanized Nesta, they completely disregarded her personal autonomy and caged her in which is ironically the very behavior that was villainized when Tamlin did it to Feyre. First of all they restricted her movement, they made decisions FOR her, they withheld from her knowledge about her own powers, they decided what’s best for her and acted like she was a rabid dog the entire time. Only Cassian and Azriel seem more blameless in this regard, but the level of scorn and abohorence and moralizing Feyre, Elain, Rhys, Amren and Mor did towards Nes made my blood boil. At the end of the day, the Inner Circle did the VERY THING they hated being done to Feyre. Whatever happened to the freedom they professed? The autonomy they decided all members of their court deserved? That was all bullshit, or was this switch-up SJM’s way of creating justifiable conflict between Nesta and the Inner Circle... either way, there was no closure about this and the way they dictated Nesta’s behavior whilst completely mistreating her imo.

More on Nesta’s treatment - okay listen the way the narrative had every character acting like Nesta was fricking scum and for WHAT??? Okay, she didn’t hunt when Feyre and they were poor, she was bitchy, she hates the Fae... okay, why is Nesta still being punished for her mistakes like this by the Court? Does their forgiveness only apply to those in their clique? They’re acting like her drinking and sleeping around and her general bitchy behavior is sooooo toxic when they ALL coped with their respective trauma in questionable ways in their centuries of living. And the narrative never condemned them for this behavior either... like cmon they had an “intervention” about Nesta like if she needed to reach a certain moral standing to be lovable or something. Seems to me that only Cassian was willing to love her, bruises and all... “There’s nothing broken to be fixed. You are helping yourself. Healing the parts of you that hurt too much - and perhaps hurt others too”. But as beautiful as that it, it seems the IC see Nesta’s healing as her “redemption arc” when I never saw her as a villain or monster to begin with. They acted like she had to become deserving of their acceptance. Bullshit.

No cus more on this... Cassian is the only person who defended Nesta, the only person that wanted to help her heal and grow when everyone else wanted to fix her. He was the only person who was kind to her from the original trilogy (i.e. not counting Emerie and Gwyn). He stood up for her and I’ll gush about them in the next section, but the dynamic between Nesta and the IC was the least enjoyable aspect of the book for me. It was clear SJM wanted to spur Nesta towards the path to healing yet only figured out how to do so whilst only keeping feyrhys as the nucleus of this arc, and so she had them force Nesta into her “special journey” (because she loves them so much, cus they’re sooooo perfect right *rolls eye*), yet, the narrative didn’t quite condemn them for their toxicity towards Nesta at ALL, even towards the end. The good thing is that Nesta did not become an ass-kisser throughout the story and laud them for “helping her” every waking second. Only Cassian didn’t shun her for her inner negativity but embraced her. And Az was pretty cool too, can’t hate him.

Ahem, the ending: okay, I’m not even capping, but I hated that Nesta lost her power for feyrhys. I get that she genuinely did it out of love and shit and I’m not even gonna lie, the thought of feyrhys dying had me on the verge of tears cus as much as I hate them, I also love those bitches. Yet, the culmination of Nesta’s power was, what?, to save feyrhys. This way, the narrative put Feyre at the center of Nesta’s narrative towards the end. And Nesta lost that Death God power that she basically EARNED in that Cauldron. This is the biggest flaw of the story. She fought against her own power to give it up... for Feyre. Like??? What??? Why was that baby arc even necessary????? Why was Nesta giving up her power necessary to fulfil her healing arc which was the POINT of the book??? Like what?????? It left a sour taste in my mouth. No- an abhorrent acidic bitter taste in my mouth. 

Elain. I CANNOT STAND THIS GIRL. She completely abandoned Nesta and for WHAT??? For Feyre??? This only served to reiterate from the narrative’s POV that Nesta was scum and again, idk WHY. And also, why tf does this girl mistreat Lucien like this??? LUCIEN AKA MY FAVORITE CHARACTER???

I just don’t get how the narrative reiterated that Tamlin is the worst of the worst when you got Rhys hiding shit from Feyre, hiding knowledge of Nesta’s power from Nesta, all of that. Like, was the entire point of ACOMAF not for Feyre to embrace her power and become her best self? Rhys never for one second tolerated withholding Feyre’s power from her. So why tf does this apply to Nesta? Cus she’s unhealthy? Okay... so what??? Why villainize her like this and imply she’s undeserving of her power and a waste of life??? I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN LIKE WHERE DID THIS EVEN COME FROM??? What did my girl do that was sooooo bad that yall needed to treat her like this. Tell me why feyre and amren and varian and rhys all acted like Tamlin in this book. Cardi voice WHAT WAS THE REASON. I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS CUS THEY ACTED LIKE THE FRICKING MORALISING SYCHOPHANTS THEY CLAIM TO HATE.

Like bitch??? They’re like those youth pastors that reiterate how broken and messed up people with mental illness are? Acted like Nesta screwing guys was the worst thing ever when they should have embraced her? Like I get she would push them away but really??? “Waste of life”??? 

So we gon gloss over how Amren was insisting Nesta shut up about the baby business to Feyre (aka hiding shit from her)? How she was implying that Rhys should conquer all of Prythian? Hear me out, even as someone from a Caribbean country that was colonized by the whites, it actually doesn’t bother me when the theme of conquest comes up, like, this is a fantasy novel and colonization does not exist within the same context for me. That being said, like, it felt as if the narrative telling me lil Rhysie is just sooooo perfect that he needs to be High King. Like, I respect the fact that Rhys has no wish to do so. Homeboy never seemed to care for conquest beyond ensuring his Court’s prowess and safety so WHAT WAS THE REASON AMREN??? Like? What kinda crack was Amren on this entire book???

The worldbuilding... listen, the politics and history felt all over the place, felt incoherent and flat honestly. Didn’t bother me as much as it did in ACOWAR but it was just *meh*, not good. Not horrible, but not great. I preferred the world when it was directly the result of Beauty and the Beat and East of the Sun, West of the Moon.

The Fae have lost their *magic*: no cus what I loved about the first book was that the Fae were one with the Courts and felt very fleshed out in terms of their powers and shit, but now only Eric and Lucien and Tamlin and sometimes Rhys have that same magic for me. Like... the sensuality of the Fae in terms of their actual Celtic roots, that which felt whimsical and immersive in the first book, feels lost to me. I can’t explain it but I feel less nuance and orthodoxy in their portrayal. However, I DID love this one line featuring none other than the loml : “Amid the pink and white blossoms, the cold-faced Autumn Court heir looked truly faerie - as if he’d stepped out of the tree, and his one and only master was the earth itself”. LIKE I SALIVATED THAT IS MY MAN.

*good stuffs*

Okay let’s talk about the smut like I didn’t like the word choice as usual like quit with the euphemisms and say cock and goooooo. That being said like, okay, I like how she set up the physical dynamic between Nesta and Cassian cus the sex wasn’t some big romantic climactic build-up like how it was in acomaf like they were being NASTY from the get-go and I respect that drip. Like she did not cap on how porny the smut was and thank God it wasn’t some cliche romantic honeymoon type shit, like it was almost on the ao3 level of smutty goodness. All it was was missing was coarse language and hard kinks but in general, I liked the Nessian smut in this book more than the feyrhys smut in particularly ACOWAR and ACOFAS, like Nessian just do not cap.

Listen... you see that whole part when Nesta was like imagining how awesome it would be to dance Lucifer’s Bachata with Az and Cassian? Yeah, my girl just let her thoughts run wild. Like Nesta makes Feyre look naïve. Like you know how Tumblr porn in 2016 used to be with the aesthetic type shit? That’s Feyre, but Nesta is like on Pornhub level and it’s so fitting I was YELLIN lowkey. I feel like less importance was placed on how meaningful the sex and shit should be in the book and I respect that.

YOU SEE WHEN NESTA TOLD FEYRE ABOUT THE BABY!!! I WAS CHEERING HER ON. No cause they were being so nasty to Nesta especially Amren and then Feyre entered with all of her moralising shit like honey you KNOW damn well what you’re doing to Nesta is what you hate being done to you. Like damn right tell her, cus I could not STAND the double standard.

The whole training the women thing was a nice touch. It was kinda corny but also sweet. That being said, I laughed so hard when I realized how this entire book was Nesta’s quarter-life hippie rebirth where she learns to meditate and work out and read romance books and face her inner demons like this is some real New York college shit. All that was missing was a Starbucks.

Cassian. Man I love this man so much. No like he displayed peak dilf behavior. I think his attractiveness isn’t based on his bravery or his hotness but his humility man. Like he’s not a thot, he’s respectful, yet tough, yet contemplative. He’s contented with his life station yet wants to always be a better person yet is such a strong rock who really loves Nesta not despite her flaws but because they are part of her. I love the way he stood up to Rhys a lot, he didn’t shame her when she was awful to him, and he is protective (annoyingly so sometimes) but he really wanted her to empower herself. Their relationship isn’t perfect (I’m not in the mood to dissect the problematic aspects rn) but they were so sweet together and I didn’t expect to like them as much as I did back when they were lowkey a thing in ACOMAF.

The mates thing didn’t bother me cus I saw this shit coming since 2016. Yes, it’s cliche and annoying but the mates status also, like, has no meaning to me so it is what it is. Didn’t think they NEEDED to be mates but I was happy that them being mates wasn’t the core of the novel and it was secondary to Nesta’s individual healing journey.

Prepare for me to get sappy but another reason why I loved this novel was because it was a story of healing. :( :( :( The road to healing and growth in the emotional sense is always beautiful to me despite how flawed it often is when SJM writes it. I just felt really immersed in the emotional woes and eventual growth of Nesta despite my issues with the book and this is perhaps one of the main reasons that I found it beautiful, because healing as a theme is always beautiful and raw.

More of Nessian but like their relationship feels so real and raw too. No, cus like, it wasn’t tinged in as much fictitious idealism as feyrhys’ relationship was. They weren’t all stupidly in love and seeing each other in the universe and shit, like they just made each other happy and weren’t portrayed as the perfect soulmates who were each other’s yin and yang and whatever thank the LORD. Them having each other’s back was enough and ughhhh Cassian was just so sweet and such a good trainer and so aloof yet passionate like I been waiting to see more of him since ACOMAF so yayyy.

Okay... that scene where Rhys kneels to Nesta and she embraces him. yes. YES YES YES YES YES that shit was the shit that made my year like I want this man to be in her debt for the end of time like this hoe saved yall like big strong high lord better bow to the “witch�� like I could hear angelic choirs at that scene like Rhys doesn’t just yield to people so easily so like, it was just kinda epic okay. Little bitchass Rhys with his perfect little river house and emo boi clothes stfu hoe.

No cus I love how Nesta told Cassian she didn’t wanna hear about Feyre’s special journey or Rhys’s special journey or Mor’s like I got fed up of people acting like they epitomized “good” and the “good path” to self-discovery when they can choke on a baguette as far as I am concerned.

*shit no one except me probs cares about*

Eris. So here is the thing. Since 2015 in ACOTAR when Eris was Under the Mountain being all red-headed and cunning and sexy and evil I have been obsessed with him... well, the idea of him I had in my head and how delectably abhorrent he seems (I like villains and side-characters okay). Maybe it was just his name (Eris is a hot name shut up) or the idea of a rich, cunning fox-faced prince in the same universe appealed to me. Either way, I actually never expected by favorite cameo-character to become... important. I’ll die on the hill of loving him. Here is the thing... I don’t want him to be good, in the same way I did not want Rhys to be a good guy in ACOTAR either. I don’t need him to be a secret angel, I don’t need him to be sweet and good like Rhys always was apparently. Honestly, I want him corrupt but likeable and pertinent to the story. That being said, I really want him as the main character for one of the upcoming novels sooo bad like please PLEASE let me see the autumn court and it’s two-facedness please like if not Eris then Lucien as the main character please.

Lucien... aka my fave character since the first book man. Mannn, SJM does homeboy so dirty like I have always loved Russian fables and hence, I am so ready for Lucien x Vassa x Jurian in the Vasilisa retelling with the firebird trope and Koshei. NO CUS in 2018 I was finna write a 100k word fic about this but then I forgot about it no cap, I still have the story plan in my Onenote actually but let us not reminisce. See, my ao3-loving ass wants an angsty poly relationship and also a hot Koshei I have been waiting YEARS for this you hoes, ever since Elain got the premonition of Vassa as a firebird in ACOWAR like God please please please give it to me and make it feyrhys-less as well yasss.

I lowkey wanna suspect Eris is gay and Mor, also gay, knows and that’s why she lowkey kinda tolerates him now. Yet, I cannot be sure and yeah I just wanna say that I kinda want that arc lmfaooo (my ao3-self is showing shut up).

No cus I was TEASED by only seeing a glimpse of Vassa and Jurian but THEY SHALL HAVE THEIR TIME I KNOW IT.

Tamlin living as a beast is so interesting to me. He’s a side-character now but ughhhh he was so mystical and interesting as our good ole Beauty and the Beast beastie like it’s sooooo mysterious and alluring how he’s becoming his own villainous legend like I still care about Tamlin’s blond ass self despite everything. 

Give us the snowball fight scene you coward.

I just gotta say Nessian could outsmut Feyrhys any day and that makes me proud.

FRICKING AZRIEL like first of all Mor doesn’t NEED to come out until she’s ready but she gotta let the man down nicely some other way so he can move on. I do not like Elain. Never did. I still do not. I do not, frankly, want a whole novel where she and Azriel fall in love and she rejects Lucien like... okay, I DO want her to reject Lucien so he can be with Vassa at the very least but also I am not interested in Elain’s POV rn. BUT I WANT AZ’S POV AND LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I WANT MY EMO BOI TO BE HAPPY. This is so frustrating cus Az is a walking DILF right and so, what am I supposed to do now.

I kinda miss the Spring Court just a little. It’s pretty shut up. It got that Zuhair Murad fashion too. 

Umm like, what the hell is up with that business with Helion being Lucien’s dad? We need more on this which is why I want a Lucien POV book goddammit.

Yoooooooo yall remember that bitch from ACOWAR who hybern was finna kill and she had a name and everything and then there was some foreshadowing and shit? What’s up with her? Like I can’t even remember her name lowkey but yeah what’s up with that. Was it something like Briar or Briannon or somthing???

Is Mor getting a book? Like deadass I need the Lucien and Vassa book, I need the Eris book, I need the Mor book and I need the Azriel book. Damn. Been waiting 6 years for some of this shit.

Okay that is all for now. Yes, this book has problematic elements at every level but I still loved it yet also hated some things about it. I won’t read House of Blood and Earth nor will I finish the TOG series but I guess I’ll stick with this series which remains near and dear to my soul despite what people gotta say about it. It made me happy and that’s what matters. Nesta is a huge ass inspiration to me as a character and I still wanna see her make the Inner Circle’s life a living hell uwu. I admittedly got HELLA emotional reading this story because it’s nonetheless super meaningful to me even at age 19 and it’s really powerful for me as a comfort book, and I look forward (a little) to what this woman put out next... sort of.

Signing off! Don’t @ me (okay you CAN @ me but idc).

[raveismysublime]

I am attempting to right a fic

So I am re-reading ACOWAR and am at the part where Nesta and Elaine go visit Graysen to try and get him to help the humans or something like that and Nesta is beating up Graysen for hurting Elaine. 

So my mind wanders and goes... what if Cassian was there to see this? and then.... what if Cassian saw this from his POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!! So I’m like let me write this, 

I have never wrote fan fiction besides some Lunar chronicles shit on Wattpad and Lesbian smut (don’t ask, it helped with my sexuality tho) SO please don’t come at me if you hate this 

I just really wanted this from Cassian's perspective, like watching Nesta be a bad bitch instead of a rude bitch ya kno? Idk but here yall go 

I apologize in advance if this is shitty ( it probably will be, please don’t hate I love u guys) and will probably never right a fic again but ok enough talking here ya go

Im gonna be taking parts of ACOWAR and typing them in so it looks believable 

**we’re gonna imagine that Cassian went with them for this to work okay**

-------------------

“So only the rich and chosen will walk through the gates?” Rhys asked, arching a brow. “I can’t imagine the aristocracy being content to work your land and fish in your lake or butcher your meat.”

This meeting was going nowhere, thought Cassian as Rhysand argued with the close-minded human boy. The fact this pitiful man thinks his mere father and some iron were going to protect him and the human lands from Hybern’s wrath was stupid, laughable even.

How he was able to land a Archeron’s sister was beyond what Cassian could think of. For once, he would agree with Nesta on the idea of this marriage. 

“We have plenty of workers here to do that.”  so the little boy speaks. Cassian wanted to retort, he wanted to desperately put this pathetic weasle of a man in his place but bit his tongue. This was not his fight, this was Elaine’s and at the moment Rhysands. He would not intervene. 

Because if he did intervene this whole place would come crumbling down and weasel boy and his father would be crying in their underwear. 

But Jurian said to the lords, “I fought beside your ancestor. And he would be ashamed if you locked out those who needed it. You would spit on his grave to do so. I hold a position of trust with Hybern. One word from me, and I will make sure his legion takes a visit here. To you.” 

“You’ll threaten to bring the very enemy you seek to protect us from?” Weasle boy said. 

 Jurian shrugged. “I can also convince Hybern to steer clear. He trusts me that much. You let in those people … I will do my best to keep his armies far away.” 

He gave Rhys a look, daring him to doubt it.

 We were still too stunned to even try to look neutral.

Cassian wondered if the elder lord might be the one who could actually be reasoned with. Especially as Graysen said to Elain, “Take that ring off.”

 Elain’s fingers curved into a fist. “No.” Ugly. This was about to get ugly in the worst way— 

“Take. It. Off.”

How humiliating, Cassian thought, to Elaine for everyone to witness this absurd man. If only he could reach around, grab weasel man by the neck, pin him against the wall and shove two of his knives into each of his balls-

That’s enough,” Rhys said, his voice lethally calm. “The lady keeps the ring, if she wants it. Though none of us will be particularly sad to see it go. Females tend to prefer gold or silver to iron.”

Graysen leveled a seething look at Rhysand. “Is this the start of it? You Fae males will come to take our women? Are your own not fuckable enough?” 

That was the last of it that Cassian was willing to endure. Was this man stupid? He should not be alive at this very second. He should be drowned in crimson and tears. 

“Watch your tongue, boy,” his father said. At Least he had some sense to shut his son up. Elain turned white at the coarse language.

Graysen only said to her, “I am not marrying you. Our engagement is over. I will take whatever people occupy your lands. But not you. Never you.”

Fucking bastard. To even speak to a women like this, to even dare 

He was going to rip out his throat 

Tears began sliding down Elain’s face, their scent filling the room with salt.

 Nesta stepped forward. Then another step. And another. 

Cassian watched her every move, every breath and the anger etched across her brow. He could do nothing but stare at her movements 

He could do nothing but stare at Nesta

Until she was in front of Graysen, faster than anyone could see. 

He watched her dress swish against her curves, he watched her fingers 

Until Nesta smacked him hard enough that his head snapped to the side.

He made a sharp intake of his breath. He had only ever seen her mad, furious, bitching to him or any other male. Never, never had he seen her so calm and burning towards someone else.

To him, she was snarky and he snarked back

To this man, she was calm and collected as her eyes burned into his face. Cassian would have never wanted to be on the receiving end of that look. 

She was devastating. 

 “You never deserved her,” Nesta snarled into the stunned silence as Graysen cupped his face and swore, bending over. Nesta only looked back at me. Rage, unfiltered and burning, roiled in her eyes. But her voice was stone-cold as she said to me, “I assume we’re done here.”

The power uttered in those words. The power in her

All Cassian could do was watch her. Watch her defend her sister to no end, watch as the poor boy looked into her eyes with fear. 

 Feyre gave her a wordless nod. And proud as any queen, Nesta took Elain’s arm and led her from the guardhouse. Mor trailed behind, guarding their backs as they entered the veritable field of weapons and snarling hounds waiting outside 

He enjoyed watching someone else take in the brunt of Nesta’s words and actions. It was entertaining to him to watch another male be weakened by her. He could get used to seeing that quite often. 

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta 

He couldn’t help laughing to himself.

She looked so beautiful when she was angry, he admitted to a small part of himself.

Gods, this women. 

-----

OKAY i know that was probably so bad but I tried? idk tell me what ya’ll thinkkkk i just really wanted this written somewere but admittidly it sounded better in my head haha 

I am just craving so much Nessian stuff at this moment like I am going to BURST where is this book. 

[jakowskis]

im gonna do it anyway FKJSDF here is precisely sixteen paragraphs of me babbling abt a tw orgy fic 😒 under the cut for nsfw obvi (+ length fhsdkjf) but i didn't get terribly graphic tbh

here's the fic!! (explicit rating 🫵)

so i first read this fic p early into my tw fixation + its been a fav of mine since, ive read it countless times n i think abt it a Lot. i love tw poly + this fic explores the sexual end of that, all the overlapping attractions going on. bc rlly n truly i think these ppl all wanna fuck each other and they should. they should. it mostly sticks to the canon relationships, with some line-blurring, and lowkey it’s so damn tangible it’s not even funny. like, it could absolutely be canon. not a lick of it feels far-fetched or unfathomable. 

it’s in owen’s pov, early s2 owen, and it’s probably the most in-character owen i’ve ever seen, which is rlly fucking funny to me. this author rlly Got him and i constantly mourn that they didnt write other stuff with him. pensive. (+ hes so endearing in it too like. my bisexual disaster!!! dorky bi disaster ilysm mwah.) and owen’s pov is additionally a brilliant choice because, as we know, he’s the most sex-motivated character, and he’s also canonically attracted to all his coworkers, and i love the nuance with which this fic explores that, exactly how his attraction to each of them functions.

and on the same subject? this fic is so heartwarmingly and thoroughly bisexual. m/m, m/f, and f/f ships are all given equal regard, each of the characters feel as bisexual as they really are, and owen’s narration in particular is so incredibly bi, like the way his attraction works and the things he notices and finds arousing, it’s perfect. it makes me very happy as a bisexual and also as an owen stannie who’s always far too pleased when fics actually let him be attracted to men. but it’s also just grounded like he doesn’t just find traditional things attractive because he’s also got feelings for everyone a bit, he’s fond of everyone and he's attracted to specific aspects of everyone, so he notices specific things... it’s just really lovely.

speaking of. as yall know my torchwood otp is owen & ianto and this fic is fucking BRUTAL in that regard, it teases SO BAD. i’ve never been so blue-balled by a fic before. they’ve got such a sexy back-n-forth in this, it’s like fencing, and ianto keeps teasing and then withdrawing and leaving owen frustrated and it leaves ME frustrated every single time i read it. they have a lot of tension in the show, imo, and it manifests perfectly in this fic, this will-they-wont-they. it’s fantastically sexy, somehow, the suspense of it.

as i mentioned, the fic mostly explores the main three ‘canon’ ships. now, as i've made clear on this blog, i dislike tosh x owen, am Bothered by jack x ianto, and don't particularly care about gwen x rhys. this first manages to make the first two not only bearable but also fucking good. i'm not so much opposed to the ships themselves, i'm opposed to how they're usually done in fic - this fic manages the perfect tone for both of them. it's literally sooo good. and the rhys & gwen is solid too i luv them

like fr i hate towen but im fond of the way they are in this fic. the way owen sees her feels tangible, and they’re on the same page in a way theyre not in the show. the fic ends with him asking her out on a date and i can’t even find it in me to be mad about it because they just sort of work here in a way thats totally a realistic interpretation imo. which i honestly didn't think was possible cuz nobody else is doing it (including the show lol). this fic is one of literally two fics in existence where i liked the towen hdsfkfd. also it should be noted i do NOT like straight piv sex it squicks me out (esp w my fav involved, thats just a me thing) but this fic makes it bearable. mostly. lowkey owen's still kind of bottomy w both tosh n gwen in this and i love that. i do not mind het sex if the man is giving bottom realness 👍

and the janto is also great, i don’t read fic for them but i’ve gotten the vibe that people like to make ianto submissive... i prefer dom!ianto in regards to owento and it’s seeped into my general view of the character, and his dom vibes in this are immaculate. him and jack are so much fun here, they both tease each other, play games with each other, a push-pull, and you get a sense of what a whirlwind they are. it’s brilliant. like okay THATS the appeal. I See. oh and there’s also a jack/ianto/owen scene towards the end (my favorite, when it's done well, which is basically never tbh) that’s incredible and also sooo frustrating bc i wish it was MORE but it’s also perfect. and owen kind of realizes he’s a pawn in their little game with each other and it’s soooooooooo. i love it. hrgh. love that sort of thing. so hawt xDD yay yaoi yayy xD

and hhrhghg ianto's aforementioned dom vibes majorly crop up with him and owen and its. sooo fucking hot it drives me nuts. when i said the fic blue-balls you irt owento... it's not even overly explicit, it's in the Energies; it's sexy as shit. i love sensuality, i love seduction, i love sex lying in things that aren't necessarily sexual and yet are. wahoo!

oh wait and speaking of being a pawn. there’s a little bit of gwen x owen which i’m personally fond of (mostly as a horny thing. i dont ship them domestically i just think theyre hot together) and they’ve got this specific vibe in this fic... rhys is there, so they don’t do much, but it’s like something forbidden, and gwen’s a bit of a tease, she plays with owen a bit and toys with the danger of letting rhys in on their little secret, and it’s really hot imo. there’s a very fun rhys x jack part (coinciding with the main owen x gwen part) and i loveee fdshfjdks rhys getting initiated into the gay alien cult via the slutty space man. also gwen gets to be a fujoshi about it which is her right imo. gwen and jack don’t go in each other’s orbits, which is amusing, but in that particular scene jack’s with rhys while gwen’s with owen and you almost get the sense theyre fucking through them, and it’s soo smart. I LOVE HOW ALL THESE PPL R INTERTWINED the constant voyeurism of torchwood. i am always saying this. there's always somehow a third party in any given workplace relationship they have. someone's always haunting other ppl's sex. it's insane

oh tosh my love... tosh is soooo good in this fic. shes a bit like adam!tosh, when shes more confident, that easy laidback sexiness, and it’s fantasticcc. hrhgh i need her. shes so hot. also she definitely has, ahem, the most fun in this fic. if you catch my drift

there’s also TWO bits with tosh/ianto/owen, which im so unbelievably fond of, and owen’s in bisexual heaven during both scenes and it’s really good fsdhkjf. owen has a fun time in this fic as far as weaseling himself into multiple threesomes n i think thats exactly where he belongs tbh. grr i have wanted to write a fic where tosh holds owen's hand and pets his hair while ianto fucks him for a year now eventually i will. i think that would make smth click in all three of their heads

...i could really gush about the ianto x owen so much like hrhhghg its SO hot. because almost nothing happens between them like it’s all ianto being a tease, or jack dragging ianto away and making him something forbidden, something owen's not allowed to have (which ofc pisses him off), and it’s HRGH. and again the D/s vibes. IM DROWNING i need more dom!ianto sub!owen fic i need it like air. owen's my fav closeted bottom character of all time and in this fic he so badly wants ianto to dom the shit out of him and its. HRHHGHGHG!!!!

'almost nothing happens between them' me when i lie bc there is, ofc, that j/i/o scene towards the end - but even then, there’s that buffer of jack, and owen can’t quite capture ianto’s full attention when he wants it so bad and yet at the same time he can’t bring himself to mind bc he also fancies jack on some level and it’s just. chef’s kiss.

what else what else... there’s some tosh/gwen which, i’m not specifically huge on, but also i’m not immune to lesbians and it’s hot ehehehe. i think eating pussy would fix gwen a little. thats all.

oh and jack and tosh dont rlly have a proper scene but theres one bit where she teases him and it makes me. hrrghgh. and owen n ianto r right next to them having a moment and its soooo. aaaa that scene makes me insane. Youll See if u read it.

in conclusion: like i said torchwood to me is a show where everyone wants to fuck each other and everyone Should be fucking each other and what i love about this fic is it's sex pollen but it's not the sort where they're out of their minds w lust yanno it just removes inhibitions. all these desires were already there (as we see in owen's initial narration like i love that hes already admiring his coworker's bodies before he's even had a drink 😭 that's my lil horndog) and it just... gives them an excuse, rlly. i love them very much and also theyre all very hot to me. oh to be a fly on the wall in this fic fhsdkfjds

one day i will snap and rave incoherently for sixteen paragraphs about that one torchwood or/gy fic thats like unironically and wholeheartedly one of the best fics in the entire fandom and gets all their dynamics w each other perfect. but for now i wont bc everyones afraid of the truth and i know that and i realize that with great knowledge cums er comes great responsibility

[regular-nessian-trash]

It’s Vegas, Baby - Chapter II

Summary: Nesta goes out to the store and so does Cassian. Classic Nesta, she thinks he’s stalking her. Trust me it’s more interesting than it sounds lol(I hope)

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I'm back on my grind yall *sunglasses emoji*

Nicknames:

Feyby- Feyre(its supposed to be like feyre and baby put together cause shes the baby of the family)

Nestella- Nesta(its supposed to be nesta and nutella. u will learn more later;)

Tiny Ancient One- Amren(kinda self explanatory)

Mor Boobiez Plz- Mor(idk i just thought it was funny lol)

"I'm home!" Nesta calls out to Feyre. She can smell pizza and instantly strides towards the kitchen, where she finds Feyre with a large cheese pizza still in the box, half-eaten.

"Finally! I was beginning to wonder if you and Cassian finally acknowledged the sexual tension between yourselves and fucked."

"Feyre! That is not appropriate to say at all! Cassian and I are barely colleagues, we will never be anything so stop with your meddling!" Nesta replied, trying to will down a bright red blush. Feyre and her boyfriend, Rhys, had this insane idea that she and Cassian were made for each other, it didn't help that Cassian was constantly flirting with her either.

"We're back!" Mor and Amren had just gotten home from some party, with Mor holding Duchess, their shared Chinese Crested Dog. When the four of them bought a penthouse together Feyre and Mor wanted a dog, and Nesta and Amren didn't. After begging and pleading with her sister and friend to please give him away after they adopted him they finally decided to just lock her, Amren, and Duchess in a room together. They all became friends, and they found out that Duchess was, in fact, a boy. They had been calling him Duchess for too long, though, so when they called him Duke he wouldn't reply so the name just stuck. When the rest of their inner circle found out-"the rest" being Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys- they didn't stop teasing them for days. In their defense, he had a very small you-know-what and he was a very ladylike boy.

"Bring my baby boy to me! Oh I wove you so much you wittle cutie pie!" Feyre was letting Duchess lick her face, making Nesta gag. Sure she loved the dog, but seriously, he licks his butt.

"Ugh, Mor, your cousin is working me to the bone! And he won't stop trying to push me and Cassian together! He thinks he can push us together just cause we “have hella sexual tension”! Also, I was thinking about this last night, Rhys is dating Feyre and if I'm Feyres sister and he's Cassians brother, that's literally incest!"

"You know they aren't actually brothers, right? They're just best friends." Mor replied, trying not to laugh at Nesta's flustered expression. She put down Duchess and reached for a slice of pizza. Everyone knew that it was just a matter of time before Nesta and Cassian got together. Nesta and Mor were the only single people in the house, not including Duchess. And Mor was just recently dumped so she was in a big love life meddling mood. Amren was dating some guy named Varian, and Feyre... Well, let's just say that it's a miracle that she's here right now and not out getting nailed by Rhys.

"I know that, but still. They refer to themselves as brothers."  

"So you're saying that if they didn't call themselves brothers you would have sex with Cassian! I knew it!"

"No, Feyre, I am not saying that! Besides, he flirts with everyone so even if I was into him- which I am not - we probably wouldn't become a thing."

"Keyword being probably." Mor says with a smirk.

"Enough of all this bickering, I'm hungry and bored so someone turn on the T.V. while I make some popcorn." Amren quickly breaks them up before Nesta tears off someone's head.

~~~~~

Cassian pulled up at the townhouse he shared with his brothers. All the lights were turned off which meant that Az was sleeping, or not home. The former was more likely because Az usually got pizza on his rest nights and there were three cold slices of meat lovers pizza left. Cassian was so hungry, he ended up eating them cold. He fought back a moan at how delicious the pizza was. He would never understand how Nesta was able to be a vegetarian. Shit. He had been such a dick to Nesta earlier. She was genuinely concerned about him and he had just pushed her away.

Cassian pulled out his phone and checked instagram. Mor had posted a photo of her and Amren with their dog, Duchess, at a party. He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry at the fact that a misgendered dog had a better social life than he did.

~~~~~

“Ugh, Feyre, Tomas and his little gang showed up at work last night.” Nesta and Feyre were chilling in the kitchen, the latter making a breakfast spread that would put Disney Channel moms to shame. Amren and Mor were nursing killer hangovers, so Feyre made sure to bang around a ton in the kitchen.

“Again? A-fucking-gain? Nuthin new, nuthin changed? Same old shit. Same old fuckin shit.” Feyre replied, forgetting that Nesta had no idea what that reference meant.

“I told them to leave and that I almost had the money to pay them back, but Tomas just slapped my ass and said ‘sEe YoU oN yOuR nExT sHiFt’ then he got up and left.”

“You do realize that we could end all of this by just telling Rhys? I know you have this whole thing about your pride and shit, but we could tell Rhys and he could pay off all your debts to him.”

“Feyre, I appreciate it, but I need to fight my own battles. I got myself into this mess, so I sure as hell can get myself out of it. Plus, I don’t like the idea of feeling like I owe my current employer money.”

“Nesta, sweetie, I love you… BUT YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR DAMN PRIDE TO THE SIDE FOR LIKE, TWO SECONDS AND ACCEPT HELP!”

“FEYRE-”

“Okay, can we yell about Nesta's issues at some time other than 6am? Also, is that bacon I smell?” Mor walked in holding her head and wearing one of Nesta's sweatshirts with some leggings.

“Yes, fattie. And it’s like, 10:30.” Feyre slapped Mor's hand away from a stack of pancakes cooling on the countertop.

“And I do not have any issues, Mor. I’m not the one that went partying with a dog last night.”

“Nesta, that is exactly the reason why you have issues. If you went partying with Duchess, maybe you would loosen up a bit. God knows you need it.”

“Brat.” Nesta threw a piece of toast at Mor's head.

“Thanks! Hey, Feyre, pass the butter.” Feyre slid the butter across the counter and cursed loudly when it just slid on the floor at Mor's feet. Facedown.

“Really, Feyre?” Nesta said in an exasperated tone.

“I’m sorry! I thought she would catch it!”

“That was our last stick of butter, you absolute dingbat!” Nesta sighed and picked up the keys to her car.

“Where are you going?” Mor asked, ever the worried friend thinking she had caused a family feud.

“To the store. We need more milk and eggs anyways. Tell me if you guys are gonna go out while I’m gone.” Nesta walked out the door of their spacious apartment and made her way over to the elevator, pressing the ground level button. She stormed over to her car, got in, and slammed the door shut. On her way to the store, she noticed that one of the local book stores was having a sale. She tried to ignore the voice in her head telling her that she had piles of unread books in her room, and all over the other communal areas of the apartment. She would just pop in after picking up the groceries. No big deal. She could restrain herself. Maybe.

~~~~    

Cassian woke up and made his way down the stairs towards the kitchen at 10am.

Hey sorry don’t be mad but here’s the shopping list. I had to go out.

~Azriel

“Unbelievable.” Cassian sighed and picked up the piece of paper attached to Azriel's little note and crumpled it up. Then he uncrumpled it because he remembered he needed to see what it said. Cassian walked up to his room and threw on a sweatshirt, some slip-on vans, and grabbed his keys. He couldn’t remember why they decided to share groceries. He wanted to in the beginning, but now that he woke up without any food in the house because his brothers had eaten all of it he was thinking or re-evaluating that decision. Cassian slid into his car and made his way to the store.

~~~~

When Nesta pulled up at the store she checked her phone and saw that Feyre had sent her a text while she was driving.

Feyby*: heyyyyyyyyy nes can you pleeeeeeeeeease get me some chocolate while you’re out :)?

Nestella*: k. anything else? im walking in now by the way

Feyby: nope! thank you love you! :)

Nestella: love you too

Nesta made her way towards the dairy aisle and picked up some 2% milk, a pack of four sticks of butter, and eggs. She quickly walked over to the candy aisle and began studying all her options, she took candy selecting very seriously.

“Nes?”

~~~~

Cassian walked into the store and quickly picked up all the stuff on the list. Once he got to the last few items written he realized he wanted ice-cream for a movie night with the boys. He walked over to the dairy aisle and picked up a tub of cookies n’ cream right when Nesta Archeron stormed past him towards the candy aisle. He followed her because, well, he wanted to talk to her. But he needed to act like he wasn't stalking her cause she might yell at him.

“Nes?”

“Mother Above, Cassian! You scared the shit out of me don’t you dare do that ever again!”

Oh well.

“How did you not hear me coming? Are you really that focused on chocolate?”

“I’m selecting some chocolate for Feyre, and she is very picky so I was focused on reading what the ingredients were in each bar.” She seemed to have recovered from the scare because she just grabbed a random chocolate bar and stormed past him.

“Obviously you don’t care that much if you’re willing to just grab a random bar and walk away!” Cassian yelled at Nesta. Some other shoppers began to stare at him so he quickly said “Don’t worry, we work together. I know her, I’m not some random creep haha.” That just got him more strange looks though so he just made his way towards self-checkout and paid for the items and skirted outta there.

~~~~

Nesta was so embarrassed while walking away from Cassian. People were staring at her! Ugh, Cassian needs to learn to not yell in public places. She walked over to her car after checking out and loaded her groceries into the boot. She needed a black iced coffee stat. Nesta began the quick drive to one of the local coffee shops and once she arrived she quickly sent the girls a text letting them know where she was.

Nestella: hey bitches im getting coffee you hoes want anything

Feyby: i want a mocha frappe pleeease              

Tiny Ancient One*: just get me a black americano girl

Mor Boobiez Plz*: i wanna iced coffee with whipped cream and caramel

Nestella: okay for everyone except Mor cause wtf that's not even an item on the menu

Mor Boobiez Plz: it is i swear! just ask them for it they did it when i asked!

Nestella: fine

“What can I get for you?” The guy working the register asked in a very monotone voice.

“One black iced coffee, one black americano, one mocha frappe, and one iced coffee with whipped cream and caramel sauce.”

“We don’t do that last one-” Nesta gave him a withering glare and he immediately changed his mind on what he was about to say.

“Those will be ready soon ma’am. Can I get a name for the order?”

“Nesta. Thank you.” Nesta walked over to the opposite side of the counter to wait while their coffee was being prepared.

“That was quite impressive the way you scared him into doing what you wanted him to, Sweetheart.”

“Cassian! Are you stalking me? Go away.”

“I’m not stalking you, I’m just here to get some coffee.” He smirked at her and picked up a latte that was set down beside him. He took a sip and looked Nesta up and down before smirking and saying “Hot.” he winked at her and left before she could yell at him. If he was being honest the coffee was actually the perfect temperature, but he just loved getting under Nesta Archerons skin.    

[curioscurio]

What did you think of Season 2?

im assuming u mean voltron, yea? well, im gonna put spoilers under the cut, but all in all i did love it!! this is long and HAS SPOILERS!!!!

Episode 1? Loved it. It was funny when it wanted to be and intense when Shiro and Keith were in trouble an,,, an u know,,, u know i loved every fucking second of coran screen time. my excellent man. as much as i would have enjoyed seeing him age w/o the mustache gag i thought it was pretty funny anyway! 

Uhh the mermaid episode was.. hm. like i liked it and i thought it was cute and all bc MERMAIDS but?? it seemed really predictable, and rushed at the end. I think that it would have shown more character development for lance and hunk if they figured out abt the whole brainwashing thing themselves through their own smarts. Like it would have been really cool to see Lance analyse and understand what was going on w/o rebels having to tell him/rescue him. Also imagine then he could rile up some supporters and stuff like it would have developed him more.

ALSO I AM ACTUALLY RLLY MAD THAT THEY REDUCED HUNK TO FOOD JOKES. like ok we know he likes food. but what abt his engineering skills? his foreign diplomacy skills? ?? his kindness?? He was very under developed the whole season imo. Also the whole “now the queens the good guy and the coral is the bad guy” was really rushed and like nobody would trust someone like that instantly after they had a bunch of proof they were evil. keep mermaid queen evil. 

also as an overall analysis point: lance was too hetero

Shiro’s escape was p good, but these teenagers hardly seem too upset that people have died for them and this cause and also that they’ve technically murdered sentient beings. 

The Pidge nature episode OK I DID LOVE THIS I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY CUTE HOW PIDGE LEARNED TO CONNECT WITH NATURE!! Coran coran the gorgeous man  

Eye of the strom FUCK YEA THIS IS WHERE MY BOY SHINES. literally!! when coran had the Slipperies im,,,,,,, First off Rhys Darbys voice acting was amazing this ep. every moment that coran had in this episode was gold. the end. when he fuckign, ,,, super saiyan jump to slather his face across the last lens and jump behind the panels i laughed so hard. i love him. 

im so glad that the allura/keith interaction wasn’t romantic,,,, thank u,,,,,,,(keep it that way )

i have no critisisms on space mall i dont care if it was a complete tomfoolery filler episode it’s probably one of my fav of the series. it felt creative, while some of the episodes didnt. 

keith shiro angst and stuff ok. good development for keith, shiro not so much? imo? 

weblum had more keith whichi feel was unnecessary. and if u HAAAADD to have keith then like… hum… u know who really could have helped w/ that mission. Lance. after they showed they could work together in the pool? would have been good. but my ideal pair would have been like lance and pidge bc they barely interacted at all. 

the jailbreak ep was ok, finally some lance development (barely a smidgen) Im glad matt’s ok and eating right and his crops are growing. But im really almost sure that the guy the warden was torturing was Mr. Sam Holt :(((( if not matt himself somehow in a plot twist. or it could be anyone but my bet is on a holt. 

loved to see my beautiful shay

for the finale, i think the writers were under the impression that voltron wuld only get two seasons maybe? or some type of time crunch bc it felt like the planning of the weapon thing and the final battle seemed very ??finite. like yaya thats the end!! there were only a few last minute things that i feel left you on a cluffhanger or made you think that there was gonna be another season which was : Where are the holts? Suprise Haggar is Altean, Zarkon isnt dead, and Lotor. Most of these were kind of last minuite…The whole Haggar thing did catch me by suprise tho!!!!! Im really excited wherever that goes!!! Also i hope Lotor is a more developed villain than zarkon bc zarkon was the most flat and boring villain lmao. 

Uhhh i feel like im being super harsh here but overall i felt like the season was good!!! a little predictable and cliche but not bad. Im definitely excited for the next season!! 

Things I really want: Hunk, Lance, and Allura character development. I feel like Allura could have held on to that grudge for longer and her getting over it would have been more of a struggle. Hunk had no development, ot like in season 1. Nothing changed for him, he was really reduced to a joke, food jokes, and his size which is really, as a bigger person,,, not cool! Also im suprised that Lance got so little screentime with how popular he is. He deserves better.

now yall know i want a serious coran episode fucking uncle iroh tales of bah sing se style u know he had a kid in the original anime,,,,,, where is Garret,,,, where!! is!! Garret!!! 

OBVIOUSLY THE ANIMATION WAS BOMB AS FUCK LIKE I WAS  BLOWN AWAY AT HOW AMAZING THE ANIMATION WAS HOLLLYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIITTTTT!!! IF THE STORYTELLUING MATCHED THE ANIMATION FUCK BOIIIIII. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! 

[celestialallstars]

Episode #13: “baaa louder.” - Zach

So after that tribal I feem good and bad. On one end, I think it was the best case for me to use it for vote reveal and it showed Bryce/Zach up, Rhys is out and yeah. On the other, I regret voting Rhys out now because it will give Michael and Chloe an excuse to force rocks in F8 unless some serious minigames are done. SO I am going to ask Michael/Chloe to F3 maybe? Not sure yet but I think now if I ever do reach the end, I am gonma probably use this vote as a reason to win since I feel if I didnt make the decision to say anything, I would have possibly left. AND everyone got exposed? Miss me on that revote

girl im going home

so tribal happened and like. period. it was really sad + like i love rhys and seeing him go was upsetting, but like.. it's the game. no hard feelings! but i'm so frustrated with so many people. it's less of the game but more of how they acted, and thats why bryce and i snapped and leaked literally every little thing we know. like my issues were like... chris' main point was vilifying bryce & i for targeting him, but like, that happened AFTER loris slept. and??? they had a plan since i lost immunity to split on bryce/rhys. like yeah be mad at me for the shadiness of the mitch vote per se (albeit it not being super shady imo), but like... call that out initially. don't act like im in the wrong for the vote TONIGHT when the alliance was always so cliquey. then chloe got... idk. arrogant? like i snapped at her (wrongly so) but my annoyance with her is not deep, its just that she is like 'oh yalls voted me' but its like... ok. we thought you leaked. and even if you didnt (which she didnt), they legittttt WERE VOTING BRYCE ANYWAY LIKE . IT DOESNT MATTER. STOP VICTIMIZING YOURSELF. YOU WERE SHADY YOURSELF. but i cant be too mad because they didnt know about the 8 person alliance (supposedly) and i suppose with the info they DID have, they made a good decision. though still dumb i hate it but its my fault too who cares im perfect. jared is just so slimey. and stephen like??? saying 'i said to u dont fk me and you immediately snitch to bryce' BUT YOU HAD A PLAN TO BLINDSIDE ME AND MY ALLIES LIKEEEE STOP JUST SAY YOURE SNAKEY. LIKE IM OPENLY SNAKEY. ILL SAY IT. BUT DONT VILIFY ME???? HELLO?? like its the pot calling the kettle black.

i'm overdramatic just because im IN the mood to go off. or, was. i snapped (wrongly so) tonight. i want anyone who reads this to know its not personal and i love all of u dearly but . im frustrated and i want a good edgic rating LOL

loris frustrates me because he legit is a goat. he can deny that all he wants but there is a literal 0% chance i vote him at this rate to win. i dont know why. he just.. isnt playing for himself. whats NEW. jk... love u. IM JUST frustrated.

on good news, i got a super idol. period. aint telling anyone. like i love bryce but i dont want him to expect me to use it on him because . it wont be good for my game. im playing for myself and myself only. like... period. tho i hope him and i can manage to survive a bit but i dont think thats likely.

im not reviewing this i just am writing whats in my feelings so its more authentic LOL

anyway this game was super fun. despite being stressful and straining, the call was super enjoyable and this org has been one of my favs, and this night has made it sm better. so period. no regrets, just faggotry.

________________________________________________________________

i'm a flop.

Everything seems so messy tonight. Rhys has approached me about me, him, Michael, Bryce nd Zach workin together but like... they seemed so actively against me sooooo idk what's going on there it feels like a trap. They suggested doing Chris which does kinda sound real but that could be part of the trap idk im very nervous. I just kinda said I would go along with the plan but I don't really intend to do that. I don't think Chris is the move for me this round, Rhys doesn't speak to me which is why I'm also nervous the alliance came from nowhere. To my knowledge the votes are gonna be split 3-3-3 in case of an idol, which I hope gets flushed. Idols make me nervy. Hell I didn't even know Jared had an idol that fucking snake, but it's fine cause he played it on me.

(((((aj note --- this confessional above is obviously from last round but its 2am and i want to go to sleep so idk))))))))

________________________________________________________________

Last night was an absolute mess and I feel I missed a lot of what went on so I need to watch the post tribal live stream to see if I can try to make more sense of what went down. So far I gathered Jared is a snake, we been knew and Bryce is a leaker. However the leaking shit got pinned on me YET AGAIN. WHY THE FUCK DO THESE BITCH ASS HOES KEEP PINNING SHIT ON ME. FUCK U BRYCE

I just, everything's a mess. All the alliances i doubt are going to work, Jared isnt long for this game, me or Stephen may follow him out, and the rest will likely see some combo of Loris/Michael/Chloe in the end. I dont know, suddenly feeling hopeless about all of this and like, pretty unhappy at the moment. I knew it would be hard but like I literally am struggle to have clear thoughts and with this and outside life factors I'm just feeling lost at the moment.

hi i'm less mad so ignore my above confessional LOL. thank u for tuning in.

except u loris. baaa louder.

Whew hunny last night exposed a lot of fake ass bitches but we really been knew they’re fake. I’m feeling confident about the next few rounds because I think people see myself and Chloe as numbers and people they need to bring on board to make plans work. Part of my strategy this game is to sit back and let the bigger players come in and try and make the big moves everyone wants to feel like they’re making a difference and everyone wants to build their resume by making big moves and as long as I can maintain my threat level I think I’ll be safe and I can have a bit of Influence in the game as people scramble for my vote.

WELL! That was an interesting tribal!

Shortly before tribal, it came out that a secret group of 5 was made to blindside Chris. (Zach/Bryce/Rhys/Michael/Chloe)

I obviously didn't want that to happen, and neither did Chris or Jared. Bryce leaked it to Jared, and Jared told me and Chris. I made the INDEPENDENT decision to confront Zach about this, because I'm not asking for permission to make moves sorry. The only issue is that Zach immediately went to Bryce, even though I asked him not to fuck me. Bryce went to Jared and Chris, and they went back to me. WELP! That just hurts my strategic relationship with Zach even more than the vote already would have.

Chloe and Michael were doing what they could to keep the votes off Chloe, luckily, my move with Zach ensured that they failed! WOO!

I don't want to make the same mistake as Matt though. I may have a decent majority now, but I don't want to burn my bridges with Zach and Bryce. I stayed out of the drama last night (mostly) and I'm gonna keep talking game with them. I might not be able to fully repair things totally but I'm confident I can do better than the other 5.

I'm gonna go over my relationships with the remaining castaways since there's finally a small enough number for me to feel like doing that:

Chris: My closest ally, we tell each other basically everything. I'm worried about going to Final Tribal with him though. He's played well in every facet of the game and literally won "Who do you want to see win" in Touchy Subjects. If I don't get a chance to take him out at the end, I think I can mount a strong argument against him. but I'd only feel comfortable making that move if I was already immune and definitely going to Final Tribal.

Jared: My second(?) closest ally, though I now know he has kept a TONNNN of secrets from me and on top of that he's a threat to win. Luckily, with all the info coming out from last round, I don't think I'll need to worry about Jared being at Final Tribal.

Loris: With Rhys gone, Loris has officially taken the title of "person I kinda wanna maybe side with but he's talked about voting me out so we're not cool". I kinda wanna weaken Bryce and Zach (or maybe vote them both out) before taking a shot against him, I just hope he doesn't realize I know he's after me until it's too late.

Michael: I really don't know where I stand with Michael LMAO! He voted with us last round but never informed us about the plan to get Chris out. He said he was "going to" but I don't believe that for a second. In fact, I think if Chris hadn't revealed what Bryce had leaked there's a chance he may have gone through with it.

Chloe: I kinda love Chloe. I wish I never accidentally turned the majority alliance against her. She's fun to hang around with AND someone I think I could beat in the end. It's like a win-win. Except I don't think she wants me anywhere near the end.

Zach: Out of the 3 people out of the loop at the last vote my relationship with Zach was the strongest. That having been said, neither of us were really sharing much information with each other after Mitch left and I feel like there's really not much further we can go together. Him and Bryce are both good options to be targeted at this vote.

Bryce: While I've personally known it for quite some time, for Bryce to outright say he didn't want to me in an alliance with me is kind of the most red a red flag can be. If I have it my way, Bryce will be the next person voted out. Granted, I'm saying all of this before immunity results and real strategic talks can begin, so my mind might change, but it's not likely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPS6OykNvh0 its so sad im going home tldr: im gone chris can say 1000 words but if they all mean nothing whats the point. jared ruined  my trust in people forever. chloe is a goat hypocrite who aggravates me. stephen is alright not good not bad. rhys is my king and im so sad hes gone i legit love that man. zach is fake. michael is annoying. loris is being a goat but who cares. omg me taking 0 blame for anything bad that happened to me? more likely than u think!!

hi! so. I think I can win this game. my intentions for a while have been to get out someone I don’t see working with personally, rhys, and then attempt a flip on jared/stephen. i also very much have wanted to turn on Chris because I believe me and him are playing similarly in that we have positioned ourself well into the middle, and going to the end with someone who’s basically played the same game but more well-polished is not a good idea! i wanted to get myself this immunity so that I could talk to people about flipping without risk of being ratted and then voted out, which was almost what happened to chloe last round. im also starting to become aware of how me never attending tribal is making me fall under the radar in a way?? everyone is fighting each other and arguably making situations worse for themselves by giving an answer straight away, for example, bryce declaring his f2 with Jared in the call. though people can still slander me while I’m not there, what they say cannot be dwelled on for too long because I’m not there, putting me in a more favourable position than some of the other people here? I think? that someone said that I was playing the middle last tribal council and well.. they’re right so oops.

my ideal path to the end would be stephen and jared leaving the next rounds, and then Chris, although the order does not concern me right now. then I would be at final 5 with Bryce zach chloe and michael and then whoever isn’t immune out of bryce and zach can be voted out. perry. and then I’m gonna have to pray to god I win final immunity OR Michael or Chloe do but like that doesn’t feel likely to me. AND THEN I WIN!!!

ALSO. im in the final 7. I just need to survive one more round and then I’m guaranteed final 5... because no way in hell im playing that legacy on someone  else.. I am not letting THAT happen again.

Me nd Michael been talking, nd we’ve wanted to make a move for a bit now but crazy shit keeps happening. We needed to take down Rhys and break up the Rhys/Bryce/Zach trio so Bryce nd Zach are more useable. Now we planning on flipping on Jared/Chris/Stephen. My current target would be Jared because as much as I trust him and adore him I think he’s definitely running this bitch. Then Loris decides he also wants to flip nd he tells Michael that he wanted to exclude me but JOKES ON U LORIS I WAS ALREADY PLANNING ON FLIPPING U DUMB FUCK. Which was kinda obvious he was planning on excluding me cause Zach and Michael both messaged me about it and I knew Loris was involved in the flipping but he hadn’t messaged me about it sooooo. Don’t test me Loris I’ll make u be voted next.

_______________________________________________________________

#FuckLoris

_______________________________________________________________

GRIT YOUR TEETH, PULL YOUR HAIR, PAINT THE WALLS BLACK AND SCREAM FUCK THIS CAST CAUSE ITS MY GAME AND IM GONNA TAKE IT BACK 

So tonight the plan me chloe and loris are sailing to the majority alliance that voted together last time is that the votes will be spilt. And they will be but we won’t be joining we will be switching to Jared and eliminating the biggest threat in the game at this point. From there I’m thinking of flipping to take out zach or Bryce and continuing on the game switching to control the power in the game.

_______________________________________________________________  

Part of the beauty of this move to blindside Jared is that a lot of the blame for the flip is shared amongst both Chloe and Loris paired with Bryce and Zach being bigger threats means that my name will most likely still be out of peoples mouth I just have some major damage control to do to stop Stephen/Chris teaming up with Zach/Bryce and creating a 4-3.

A lot has happened.

Bryce and I's F2 imploded because of me, and even though we reconciled today I don't think I can truly work with him again. Best I can do is try to secure his jury vote.

I have deals with Stephen Chris Michael and Chloe, Loris will hopefully fall by the wayside next round.

The plan this time was to get Michael onside in PMs and gauge his interest for voting out Zach, reinforcing the "this is our shield strategy." He did the work from there. Yeet!

________________________________________________________________

Jared is voted out 5-2-1. He becomes the fifth member of our jury.

Watch Jared’s exit interview take place below:

[fktonofwhatnow]

who wants a list of my a court of frost and starlight thoughts without context cuz youre gonna get it anyways

It's been 3 paragraphs and Feyre's talked about how much money she has at least 4 times 

"What kind of things do you paint?" “The things that need telling." what do u mean wait come back explain this to me what needs telling which story is this

Also apparently Rhys has tried to fix the slum situation but he can't because 

 It's tricky to move people out of their houses to fix them 

Aren't you like, so rich, can't you just build more houses like, in a different area and move all the poor people over there and then turn the used-to-be slums into another housing development to house more people  

"Mor shrugged, her heavy brown coat bringing out the rich soil of her eyes." Her what 

Mor: I don't know what to get Az

Feyre: Get him more knives! Guys love weapons! 

morrigan, handing azriel a knife:

azriel: all the better to stab myself with

everyone else: AZRIEL NO

Why would you give this man more sharp things he's not okay don't give him sharp things 

Apparently this whole city smells like salt and lemon verbena -squints- i dont believe u

Acofas: In which Vivane forces her husband to make her high lady too because Feminism. Honestly, Viviane is already equal in rank to Kallias in all but title why she mad

“I can let go of the taunts and the fact that he still harbors some hope of one day reuniting with Tamlin. But I cannot let go of how he treated you after Under the Mountain"

You know what I can't let go of Rhys 

The way you treated her under the mountain 

seam of my backside 

Why is ERIS HERE 

N O HES PLAYIN YALL FOR DAMN FOOLS

I love how pointless all these visits to the hewn city are 

"Why are we here? WE DON'T KNOW ! :D"

"How's your court, Eris?" MOR WAS SO DISTRACTED BY HIM BEING HERE THAT SHE DIDN'T HEAR THE ANSWER. Thanks Maas I hate it please tell me how the autumn court is doing i wanna know

Feyre: yeah theres no border expansion for any one of the courts and that's final 

Eris: you'd better tell that to Tamlin, his territory borders the human lands 

Maas: yeT ANOTHER NAME MOR HAD TO ADD TO HER HIT LIST

Isn't tamlin waiting for someone to put him out of his fucking misery anyways lmao Mor get in line to kill tamlin Right Behind Tamlin

I love that I'm just Still so confused about all this human queen business. Why do the human lands need 7 queens 

(gifts love language rant time) Excuse me why us all this gift stuff seen as a bore? Does the IC not realize how special unanticipated gifts are? "Elain isn't expecting anything from us, so just don't get her anything" ???? WHY NOT ??? THATS THE PERFECT TIME TO GET HER SOMETHING

"Azriel has always understood me. It's definitely his powers." Maybe he just gets you, bro 

Tamlin didn't have any shields around the house, none to prevent anyone from winnowing in or to guard against enemies appearing in his bedroom and slitting his throat. It was almost as if he was waiting for someone to do it." 

Feyre: bro why you so angry 

Rhys: I went just so I could get mad at Tamlin 

Feyre: Oh, that's okay, the things you said to him weren't wrong 

Rhys: I should have been the bigger male 

Feyre: oh honey you're always the bigger male, you're entitled to be be petty every once in a while ahahah 

Rhysand I just... How do you go to Tamlin's place, look into his dead eyes and consider that maybe he doesn't keep wards because he wants someone to break in and kill him and not feel a single shred of sympathy, and then decide to tell him how much you wish he would just die is that really a good idea

Cassian just said the words "little" and "Rhysie" in the same breath and I would prefer death 

Wait why is Elain mad at Nesta now too 

"Rhysand drinked deeply from his wineglass." who edited this

Gentlemales. feyre corrected Elain from saying gentlemen. to gentlemales.

Wow Feyre’s mad that Elain and Lucien don’t actually care that much about each other. “I don’t like to see either of you unhappy” it’s gonna be okay Feyre don’t force them to see each other

Please don’t make fun of the boys doin their thing okay I wanna snowball fight why are you guys judging them

I would like to personally thank Feyre for giving Rhys a boner while he’s naked with his bros

Who’s the illyrain baby now

why is feyre complaining about money when theres literally mountains of presents here

Could y'all at least pretend that you're excited to see nesta

Feyre just gave Rhys a whole ass selfie and he’s pretending he’s happy about it

Lets keep pounding the “stories that need to be told” in art in the most anti-climactic way possible

Yes we know art’s important can we also talk about how like the Illyrians are trying to rebel and i JUST KNOW that eris is playing yall

Hi Cassian if you understand nesta then why are you mad at nesta 

CASSIAN STOP BEING CREEPY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

“You’ll want this one” mY ASS i swear if yOU GOT HER LINGERIE

Rhys’ mom made all these dresses, just for feyre ???? I don’t believe you

[regular-nessian-trash]

It’s Vegas, Baby - Chapter III

Summary: We learn a bit more about Nesta and Cassians backstory’s, and we see a friendship begin to bloom between Nessian.

TW: Assault, Drugs, Drinking, Rape

A/N: yaaay i finally finished this chapter lmao hope yall enjoy

Nesta was humming along to the tune of Bad Reputation by Joan Jett while getting ready for work. Even though her coworkers were a pain in her ass, she loved her job. She could still remember the day she met Rhys, not knowing that his family would become her own. She thought he wouldn’t know much about hiring employees -considering when she applied for the job, the actual title was “Classy Go-Go Girl”- so she was going to try and smooth talk her way to a bigger salary. He saw right through her, though, and offered her the job for the original salary.  She scoffed at first, but because money was tight for her and Feyre she took the job. Not that she would ever say it out loud, but being hired by Rhys was the best thing to happen to her and Feyre. They had moved to the city after she had escaped Tomas and by the time he had found her she was already doing so well in the city and they didn’t need his money to survive. She was free. But of course, all good things must come to an end. Tomas started saying she owed him for all the years of protection and street cred she got from dating him. That was when he had started coming to her place of work and harassing her. She couldn’t do anything about it, though. He had made a name for himself on the streets. That was why she had fallen for him. He had the whole bad boy thing going for him. And if Nesta was anything, she was a romantic. He had her hooked on the whole bad boy act. Never. Again. In all the romance novels it’s cute, but when you actually experience it first-hand… “Hey, Nessie? I’m heading to The Court now. You almost ready?” Mor questioned, interrupting Nesta's train of thought. The Court is what they all called Rhys’s club. It was actually called The Night Court, but their group was all about nicknames. “Yeah, I’m almost ready!” Nesta called back while she slipped on her dirty white high top Chuck Taylors. The shoes she had to wear for work were so uncomfortable, so she put off wearing them until the absolute last moment, usually right before she clocked in. Sure she looked like the star of a kids T.V. show from the 2000s in her dress and converse, but at least she was comfortable. Nesta quickly ran to the elevator with her heels in hand just as Mor stepped in and was about to let the door to the elevator close. Nesta was about to yell at Mor to stick her hand through the doors when Mor just smirked and let them shut. Nesta quickly hit Mor's contact on her phone and called her. “Hey, Nessie! I noticed you looked a little sleepy, so I thought you would wake up a little standing around waiting.” “I hate you. I will stand here and wait for the elevator and never will I ever hold the doors for you ever again.” “Really, Nessie? You are the most over dramatic person I have ever met.” “You love it.” “Apparently, so does Cassian.” “Mor-” Morrigan hung up, giggling. Nesta pressed the elevator button for what seemed like the thousandth time. She was so grateful to hear the ding, and when the doors opened she practically jumped in. After checking her phone, she realized if she drove like a madwoman on the highway she would still be late. Damn her and her nostalgia. The elevator doors opened revealing a guilty-looking Mor waiting by the car. That guilt quickly morphed into a smirk when she saw Nesta's annoyed smirk. “Thanks for making me late, asshole.” “No problem, bestie! Besides, Rhys won’t fire you. If he does, we can all disown him! Except maybe Feyre. She will probably be on his side.” “Let's just go.” ~~~~ Cassian was pacing the floor of the staff room. Nesta was late. She was never late. Something happened to her and he was willing to bet those assholes that harass her every week had something to do with it. He had to call the police. He had to do something. Cassian pulled his phone out, ready to call someone when he was interrupted by Rhys. “Hey, Cass? Nesta’s gonna be late today, Mor just called saying she made Nesta wait for the elevator for, like, five minutes. You can stop pacing. Damn, you’ve got it bad.” Rhys walked away giggling like a middle schooler. “Hey! I don’t have a crush on Nesta, you bastard!” Cassian yelled after Rhys. “Well, I would certainly hope not! That would ruin our group dynamic!” Mor yelled at Cassian, with Nesta hot on her heels. “Says the girl who came up with the ship name Nessian. I still think it should be Cesta, by the way.” Cassian quips. “Well, Cesta sounds stupid. Mostly because a cesta is a type of basket.” Mor replies, before leaving to go get a drink. While all this was going on, Nesta was putting on her heels and getting ready to go out and get people to buy more drinks. Before she left, though, Cassian tried to think of something to say to her. “So, Nesta, still single?” Damn. He was an idiot. Why did he ask her that? “So, Cassian, still a grade-A asshole? Because don’t think for one second that you could get in my-” “Sorry! I’m sorry! Jeez. I was just making small talk. Apparently, you are, but I already knew that. Considering the way you blush at the mere thought of me.” Cassian finished with a smirk, making Nesta's blood boil. “The only reason I blush in your presence is because your insufferable male ego takes up so much space that it gets too stuffy and difficult to breathe whenever you get close to me!” “So you admit being close to me makes you blush?” Cassian wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Ugh! Goodbye, you impossible prick.” Nesta walked away, Cassian watching her back the whole time as she began talking to the patrons. ~~~~ Nesta could feel Cassian watching her as she spoke with all the customers. Surprisingly, Tomas and his lackeys didn’t show up. Maybe he was finally leaving her alone. Nesta was so deep in thought that she barely heard all the sexist remarks coming from one table in particular. It seemed to be full of a bunch of rich kids. The tips would hopefully be good. Nesta made her way over to the boys, and barely registered the look in their eyes. She was used to it by now. What Nesta was not used to was how forward they were. “Hello, darling. We’ll have three whiskeys, neat.” “I’ll make sure to let one of the waiters know, darling.” Nesta hated these guys already. Misogynistic pigs. She put on her overly sweet smile and walked away. She went to go find Mor, knowing that Rhys wouldn’t get mad at her. “Nessie! How’s work? Wait, don’t tell me. Those guys you were just talking to asked you to get them their drink.” “Yep. Honestly, Rhys should have thought about what customers would think if he had girls walking up to tables, talking to them.” “Between you and me, I think he only created that position because he had a crush on Feyre and she told him you were job hunting.” “Honestly, that’s probably true. Cause Feyre was the one to tell me about the job after she met Rhys at the coffee shop.” “Okay, well I gots to go party for a bit. Come see me after your shift is over!” “Bye, Mor!” Nesta walked away and noticed one of the guys, the one who ordered the drinks, was waving her over. Great. She sighed and tried to walk as slowly as she could, without it seeming obvious. “Hello, boys. Is there something I can help you with?” “Why don’t you sit down with us. We can have a bit of fun.” “No thank you, I’m working right now.” “C’mon! We don’t bite! Unless you ask…” The guys sitting with him started snickering, that was when Nesta decided she’d had enough. “Sir, if you don’t start to respect my answer to your question I will have you and your boyfriends escorted out by security. Don’t make me say no again.” She tried not to flinch when he stood up close to her, she could smell the alcohol on his breath. They must have been bar hopping if he was already this drunk. She turned to walk away when suddenly there was a hand grabbing onto her ass. She was about to tell him off, but he roughly grabbed her face and smooshed his mouth against hers. She pulled away, gagging. Tears stinging her eyes as she was brought back to the night she broke up with Tomas. The sound of ripping clothes filled her ears. The pure undiluted rage in Tomas’s eyes when she pushed him off her. Suddenly, Cassian was there calling her name. She could see Mor pushing through the crowd that had gathered around her, repeating the dumb nickname she gave her. And on the floor, unconscious, was the guy who assaulted her. Oh, gods. Assault. It was happening again. She must have been pure evil in her past life because she had no idea what she had done in this life to deserve all this bad karma. “Nesta? Nesta, please, answer me. Nesta?” That was Cassian's voice. Cassian. He was here. “Take me home, Cassian. Please.” She cursed herself for sounding so weak. “Of course, Sweetheart.” He didn’t say his little pet name the way he usually did though. He sounded concerned. They walked out to Cassain's car in silence. Nesta couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. She let them fall freely as she stepped into Cassian's car. Too shaken up by the whole experience to care if he thought she was weak. “Nesta, I know we aren’t the best of friends, but I want you to know I’m here for you. I may not know what it’s like being a woman, but I didn’t have the best childhood. I know abuse, so if you ever want to talk, call me. Based on your reaction, this wasn't the first time.” “My ex-boyfriend.” “What about him?” “He tried to rape me when I broke up with him. He was abusive. So I left. He caught me leaving with my suitcases, though. He got really mad and pushed me into the wall and started to taunt me. Telling me I’d never make it without him. That I needed him to survive. That Feyre needed him. Elain needed him. I pushed him off me, but he just pushed me harder into the wall and ripped my clothes off. Then I tried to run again, but he punched me. We got into a fight, but I managed to hit him over the head and run. Feyre was waiting for me in her car, and we both just drove.” “My birth mom was a druggie. She got pregnant from some guy she couldn’t remember. She used to hit me and tell me she wished she got rid of me. I still have a scar on my arm from where she put out her cigarette once when she was pissed at me. Then, one day she overdosed and killed herself. I was thrown into the system. That’s how I met Rhys and Azriel. In highschool, Rhys’s mom fostered me. Then she started to foster Az.” “I’m sorry you had to go through that with your birth mother. My mom died when I was young, and my dad lost his job a couple of years later. Feyre began working because Elain wished to go to college. That was when I started dating that guy. He knew we were in deep shit, so he started paying for everything for us. He even paid for Elain to go to college. The only thing is, now he seems to think we owe him for all the stuff he did for us.” Nesta didn’t know why she was telling Cassian all this. He was just so easy to talk to. “Damn. What an asshole.” “Yeah… Looks like we’re here. Thanks, Cassian. Truly.” “No problem. It’s not like we’re going to get fired for ditching.” “True… Hey, do you wanna come up and maybe watch a movie or something? If not that’s okay too! You don’t have to...” “Hey, Nesta, as long as you have popcorn and Dirty Dancing I’m in.” “Lucky for you, I have both of those. Also, Dirty Dancing is one of my favorite movies so we would have been watching that anyway.” “Well, Sweetheart, you’ll be pleased to know that Dirty Dancing is my favorite guilty pleasure movie.” ~~~~ Mor pulled up at their apartment complex, not expecting to see Cassian's car parked in one of the visitor spots. She stepped into the elevator, eager to see Nesta. Cassian had whisked her away to his car before she got the chance to see if she was alright. Once the doors of the elevator had opened into their penthouse, first Mor noticed that Dirty Dancing was playing on their flatscreen. Then Mor noticed that both Nesta and Cassian were cuddling on the couch, fast asleep. Mor quickly took a picture then snuck into her room. She could talk to Nesta about what had happened at the Court tonight tomorrow. For now, she decided to just let the enemies to lovers trope play out.