#yall r super cool
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sarayu-sunrays · 1 year ago
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you know one thing the internet has taught me? to stick up for myself. now if a creepy guy messages me i don't waste energy trying to be nice. i tell him exactly what i think of his behaviour and then i tell others. if someone tells me i suck i laugh and make sure i have people that care about me surrounding me. so you know. the internet's a bad place, but not all bad <3
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all-the-bones-ever · 4 months ago
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ghost hours rahhhh
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waloeders · 1 year ago
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oeheuehh i missed promo hr and i need to sleep,, stealin the bfs clothes for pjs actually. which one? i shant say.... /lh lh sdhndjdnd gngn <3
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hacksawboy · 1 year ago
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yall costas and leigh fans need to behave oh my god 😭😭
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tinybitofhope · 1 year ago
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✨ send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going ! hope you're having a beautiful day darling, sending lots of love your way✨
omg im so glad you think im wonderful!!!! <333333
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inf3ct3dd · 1 year ago
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ellie headcanons pt.3,,,!!
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warnings: mentions of boobs, ass (lmao) , mild sexual content, use of the d-slur (jokingly)
content: loser!ellie x reader :3 my pookieeee
authors note: these r actually my favorite things to write ever like im so glad yall like them :333
pt. 2. taglist!!! masterlist!!!!
☆ REALLY likes beef jerky. she’ll just sit there and chew…
- her hands r just constantly freezing. like DEAD PERSON COLD ITS SCARYYYY!!! she definitely uses ur boobs as handwarmers and its JARRING because her hands are actually so cold 😞😞!!!
- HER FEET TOO!!! she has some sort of circulation issues bc you’ll be in bed together and she’ll put her feet on you and you’ll just turn into a cartoon ice cube 😕😕
- the SECOND u have some sort of drama she is seated. like she is so MESSY she will talk shit abt someone she knows absolutely nothing abt just bc u don’t like them. anyone you hate she hates 💪🏽💪🏽
- speaking of she is literally so sassy 😞😞 like she will literally full body turn away from you and look at the window while you drive if she’s mad at you.
- every time you say something even remotely sexual she’s looking at you like 🤨 and trying not to laugh. if you texted her “im coming” she’d burst out laughing and write back like “geez we’re just going to the zoo…didn’t know u were THAT excited”
- has the humor of a middle school boy. she has an actual problem w deez nuts jokes 😞😞 she thinks its SOOOO FUNNY to give u fake backshots whenever you bend over around her. fake moans and everything 💔💔
- a pharb AND a barb. she definitely knows all of super bass by heart, and she knows how to play savior complex on the guitar. duality of women!!!
- every time you say something nice to her she’s like “ew thats gay” and then she gets upset when u get upset for it 😞 so RUDE actually!!!
- really likes doing facemasks with you because you always put them on for her, and because you look really stupid with them on.
- this video. js this whole video like!!! she definitely has that dinosaur hand sanitizer AND that backpack!!
- likes rings cuz she thinks they make her look cool, but she literally cannot keep them for more than a month. they get lost SO EASILY!!!
- knows a concerning amount of things about the roman empire.
- definitely saw the barbie movie with you, and got so embarrassed at the ken guitar scene ☹️ “do i do that??” and you had to hold back laughter and tell her no
- if you have little siblings, they LOVE HER. she is so good with kids its insane. she would definitely do the griddy w ur little brother and you would NEVER let her live it down
- if you take her to a family gathering, she’s either talking with your uncles or hanging out with your younger cousins. she’s scared of your cousins your age bc they’re “cool like you”
- definitely bought you lego flowers at one point and sat on the floor and built them with you
- has those glow-in-the-dark stars on her bedroom ceiling
- would absolutely lick your salt lamp “for science”
- one time you put her hair in pigtails and she wore it the whole day, and refused to let her friends make fun of it cuz her “wife” did them
- talks about you like a 40 year old man talks about his wife. “gotta get home to the wife” definitely has “happy wife happy life!” on a tshirt
- built the two of you a house on minecraft and put your beds next to each otherrrr :((
- carved your name on her skateboard and guitar
- had an AWFUL emo phase in middle school. terrible. was absolutely an avid tumblr user
- such a nerd about vinyls. would take u on dates to her favorite vinyl store, and buy you a new vinyl player because “yours damages your vinyls, and the audio quality is shit” (you randomly bought it on amazon)
- just knows so many facts…about things…. like she’s always talking to you like “oh my god babe did you know that-“
- would get “jealous” of your pets whenever you’d pet them or hold them in front of her. just going up to your cat like “she likes me more than you”
- made herself one of those “i love my girlfriend” tshirts with your face on it
- your dad definitely loves her because they have so much in common. grilling, fishing,camping, she’s like the ultimate dad-dyke
- can fall asleep ANYWHERE. like the second she’s tired she’s just 😴😴 and she’s definitely using you as a pillow
- one time the two of you went to a family party and you found her asleep on two folded chairs
- you’re her wallpaper on all her devices.
- every time you ask her what she’s doing and she’s playing guitar shes like “just fingering my guitar”. she thinks its SOOOO HILARIOUS
- definitely says white ppl shit all the time on accident . one time she said “lets rock and roll” when you two were going somewhere and she literally didn’t talk for 5 minutes cuz you could not stop laughing
- LOVES burts bees !!! her lips always taste like their strawberry chapstick and its wonderful
- has a pair of lightning mcqueen crocs
- LOVESSSS when you paint her nails and do her makeup (she just likes you sitting on her lap)
- definitely one of those girls thats like. obsessed w doctor pepper. its a serious problem 😞😞!!!
- has a little shoe box full of receipts, polaroids of you, and little souvenirs from your dates. :((
- literally melts when you scratch her back
- very into horror games/analog horror. definitely binge watched markipliers “faith” gameplay and talked about it nonstop
- miles morales is def her fave superhero. has so many of his comics and LOVES the spiderverse movies. calls you her gwen 😞😞
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taglist!!! if ur name is crossed i cant tag u :((
@syrenada @dinaissoprettyoml @kingofmylastkiss @as2rid @greencacty @melissabarrerass @bratydoll @lov3lylotus @forelliesposts @echostinn @f3r4lfr0gg3r @r3wbeef @leatheredhearts @mousymaven @mina-281 @princessguardian444 @calystas-morning-tea @horror-whoree @slutshies @bearieio @mag-mfm @bubs-world @paran0id0blivi0n @sawaagyapong @bbygrlshelbs @gayh0rr0r @pl9ys @ellieslilslvvt @dollietes @elliesmellsbadd @ibloom4u @ddreabea @beestar120 @brunettedolls-blog @girlwonderchloe @elliesgflol @maris-koffin @emonopolyman @iloveeyousblog @fr3sh-tragedies @ilovaffles @certifedcrybunny @elleatethat @baldph0bic @clouded-whispers @4rt3m1ss @saggykneecaps @swtsuna @ell1esslutt @minixmel @yuyans-stuff @owmoiralover @thecowardwrites @lunascerebro @elliestrwbrry @iwantsoda @teeveegirl @dinasmoon @urnewghostfriend
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abbysbasement · 2 years ago
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(Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader)
 — PAPI BONES
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A/N: Hi, this is the formerly scrapped, 3x longer, 2 months writing project that I had because I wanted to fuck abby in a closet! this was actually supposed to be my first post on tumblr, but i got mad at it and sent it to the dungeon for two months :/ but yall wanted it, so I'm super happy i got to finish it, even though it took multiple days and cups of coffee to power through. sorry for the wait, hope you fuck wit her.
content tags (can you tell i don't want to write anymore ;w;): college au, childish antics at a big age, drinking, cool, ellie and dina are in this! kind of abstract sexual descriptions, assplay, cunnilingus (r!receiving), boob... touching? small mention of drugs because dealer!ellie, drunk sex, enthusiastic consent! :D, reader is kind of annoying sorry, men being assholes, reader catching feelings for a girl she fucked once, real.
wc: 7.6k ;w; (send help)
proofread?; barely.
tl : @clearheartgreyflowers, @oatmilkchaii, @ghostfacebunny, @ellsbclls (thank you to the sweetest deb @ellsbclls for helping beta read this, i appreciate your suggestions and encouragement and this would probably have been scrapped TWICE without your help ;w; )
synopsis: your best friend dina drags you to a college frat party. you hate shit like this, and you're painfully shy but when she does those puppy dog eyes you can't say no, so in a cruel twist of fate you end up in the closet with abby Anderson, and lose your virginity. yay college! (apart of the 'jackson university' thematic!)
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Your idea of a Saturday night well spent wasn’t squeezing through a sea of sweaty backs; but like many things in your life, it wasn’t up to you, because you were easily swayed. Everything was overstimulating, the waves of bodies on bodies that pulsated and threw you between different poses and balances to keep on your feet, the ringing of laughter, of music, of every sound echoing in your head, around your body, vibrating through your very core. The smell of liquor and drunken antics and that one guy puking in the corner made you sick. But somehow, you were here, spurred on by peer pressure friendship and goodwill, trudging through the blackened room to your target; the snack table. 
Dina, your roommate, and determinant best friend held a firm hand on the small of your back, pushing you through the crowd and causing a small jolt to run down your body as she steered you around every obstacle and corner in the room. She was a woman on a mission, and the one who dragged you out of bed, convincing you - against your better judgment- that it was fatal that you accompanied her to a frat party. You knew she was good-natured, and your first friend when you moved 500 miles away from home to college. It was an instant click, but you were opposite best friends. 
Dina, ever the social butterfly, had connections in all different spaces; she could party with the sorority girls –hold the coke, please,– out-cram everyone, even the National Honor Society kids, all the way to the top of the class, hell, she was on the damn debate team, which was probably why it wasn’t a struggle to get a ‘yes’ out of you. You, on the other hand, were uncomfortable at bars, school sporting events, and parties, and one time you even thre– fuck, never mind. It was all effortless to her, in almost an enviable way. Dina loved to go clubbing, loved to hang, out, and she had been near-begging you to come out with her and her cool friends for months, not that you’re not cool, I mean. 
And somehow, despite everything, it worked. 
You could almost remember how you got there if you put away the sticky crunch of coke sticking to your shoes with each step, and reached back into the recesses of your mind. Or at least, back three-and-a-half hours ago. 
“They’re all great people, no weirdos, promise!” 
It was the emphatic plea made to you as you lay on your bed, queuing up the next episode of the apocalypse show you watched each week, watching her make Dina list off every reason why you just had to follow her out tonight. It was clearly very life-or-death shit to her, but you were unconvinced. It was just a party but there was going to be a smaller, more intimate kickback in a friend-of-a-friend’s basement. She was in the middle of getting ready, sitting at her school-issue desk and looking at herself in the mirror, dark hair coned over her head in a bun as she sat in deep concentration, words slurred and simple as she applied mascara, her mouth slacked into an O position.
“So you’re gonna like, fucking go, yeah?”
She said it as though it was obvious, like it wasn’t a question, but one look at you, –curled up in covers, laptop on chest, martini glass pajama pants and teddy bear teeshirt ON, unbothered– showed her that it would be a tall order, and that big guns would be needed. 
“Not interested, sorry.” 
“Not even a tinyyyyy bit?” Dina squeezed her fingers together for emphasis, throwing her head back in mock exhaust, a theatric groan rumbling out of her throat. “Not even a little bit.” You echoed, your roommate cutting her eye at you through her handheld mirror, but it was what it was. You weren’t into all of that stuff; the bump and grind of sweaty bodies wasn’t alluring, listening to someone else’s shitty music at ear-bleeding levels felt like hell, and if you wanted to get pitifully drunk and throw up all over yourself, there was a garbage can right under your bed. But your friend really, really, wanted your company and it made you feel, really, really bad to always blow her off. 
“Why are you going so hard on this?” You bemused as you propped up on your elbows, watching as she stalked around the room in her newly painted face, quickly rummaging through her drawer for a spare outfit. 
“Maybe because it bums me out to see my super cool roommate wasting away in her dorm every weekend?” In Dina’s mind, she was making a lot of sense. She was waiting for you to chime in, to say you know what, Dee? You’re right, I get it. But instead, you stared blankly, and she threw down her arms in exasperation. “You’re in fucking college, man! You don’t even wanna have one night of fun?”  She punctuated the ‘fucking’ with a wild gesture around her head, which made you chuckle to yourself.
“I mean, I was planning on wa–”
Your body was jostled by an insane amount of weight, almost turned completely over by two roughhousing dudes– a mess of limbs and arms, who looked at you and then at each other, as though they had spontaneously sobered up. You didn’t even have the time to start to be angry when they prattled off a blended, slurred apology and thrashed somewhere away through the mass of hands and faces in the dark room.
Fucking assholes, ruining the flashback sequence. 
The room was lit only by haphazard mood lights; soft LEDs and gaudy, flickering Christmas baubles, a solitary television, camped by stoners who laughed madly, and the dim auburn glow of the odd ceiling lamp nestled in the far back of the house. You were out of your element; you couldn’t dance, weren’t the most social, and even though you were with a friend, all of this made you feel very alone.
Dina cut through the crowd with her elbow, bellowing out “Ex–cuse me!” while she pushed you through gaps as they formed. Her voice fell to mutter again, barely audible, chunked and cut by the music bouncing from wall to wall, grumbling that she had places to be, and if E*&^$ didn’t get her off at least once, there would be hell to pay.  She was determined to get to the other side of the room, where it was arranged that by the chips, as smokers usually are, she would find her current fuckbuddy and her friends, waiting to hotbox and pregame a bit more before the room peaked. She was driven by horniness and selfishness, as one typically is after four shots of Tito’s vodka, and getting smoked out and ‘taken care of’ upstairs was half the reason she even came.
You’d never met her most recent suitor, and the question of her girlfriend was always met with a ‘no, she’s just my sneaky link.’ but you didn’t question it enough to know more. She was just the girl who Dina would go off campus to meet, and as long as she wasn’t a slasher, and her pre-rolls knocked you on your ass, it would be what it was. You were carried away by your friend’s excitement, by her heavy hand nearly lifting you off of your feet as she beelined to the kitchen, wrangling your twin bodies every which way. 
“Ellie! Ellie!” She yelled, jumping up and down a bit to compensate for her voice being swallowed by the bass. She burrowed through the wave, pushing you towards a girl leaning against the sink, nursing a red cup and low, hazy eyes. Her auburn hair was swallowed by a black docker, and a dark-coloured backpack jutted out from behind her as she smiled and waved the two of you –mostly Dina, into her orbit. She looped her head under your shoulder to be pulled into the strong hug of firm biceps, and Arms looked you over, offering a friendly nod. 
“It’s on streaming. You can watch ‘Many of Them’ literally whenever!”
“Live tweeting is a part of the experience.” You chided matter-of-factly, sitting up cross-legged. It wasn’t like the brunette was wrong, exactly, but you couldn’t give up too much at once. Going soft was not a part of the plan.
“Fuck, whatever– You know the girl I’ve been hooking up with, right?” Her eyebrow raised at your dispassionate ‘not really.’ “Well you know her fucking joints, she sells– weed, shrooms… pills?” Dina listed off with her finger, mulling over the last detail for a second, then confirming in her head with a nod. It’s fine, you’re cool, and the two of you had always bonded over your love of recreational joy anyways. “So, if you wanna smoke orsomething– I got you, all you have to do is show up.” Her hands were up almost sheepishly as she tested the waters, but you weren’t super convinced, and your idea of fun wasn’t exactly playing wingman while she got tongue-fucked by a drug dealer, and the pregnant pause was enough to cue her into having to bring out the big guns. 
“-And, and!  I'll wash all our dishes, and cleanyoursideoftheroomforaweek.” 
Damn, she practically ran through that last part, so under her breath you knew she was hoping that you didn’t hear. But you did, and for a second you could almost see a smirk play on her face as your eyes lit up. She was always up for a good bribe, and even though she would act annoyed, it was great for breaking you out of your shell. She would offer to watch the zombie show if you came out to the bars in your college town with her, pizza if you confessed to your crush instead of instastalking them three times a day, even though it didn’t work, –oh well, shooters shoot– and tonight? A week free from chores if you just spent a couple of hours in your own personal hell. Yeah, you would give her this one. 
“Now we’re talking. If you want someone to be the lookout while you and Jesse Pinkman go at it, who am I to deny?” You teased, kicking your legs over the edge of the bed. 
Your roommate craned her head up, momentarily stopping her mission of rifling through her clothes. “Who said that?”
“You’re in your ‘good panty’ drawer.” You whispered cheekily. 
“Well, you got me. Someone has to get fucked around here.”
“Oh fuck you, bitch!” You laughed, throwing your pillow, hitting smack in the center of her chest. 
Dina bounced around the room, practically billowing with glee. There was a descending, barely audible ‘fuck yeah’ as she traipsed down the hall towards the bathroom, rounding the corner and disappearing from your periphery. 
“By the way, you know Jesse’s last name is Huang, right, not Pinkman? And we’re uh– not together anymore.” Dina shouted through the silence.
“That’s a character from Breaking Bad. It was a joke– because he’s a drug de–” You stopped yourself midway. “Never mind. It’s not funny if I explain it.”
“Oh– I never watched Breaking Bad. Too Long.” She deadpanned. You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head as you slid your way off the bed. 
That’s how you found yourself in a dimly lit bathroom, missing the comfort of your memories as ‘Ellie’ rolled a blunt. You stood leaning against the door and Dina sat on the closed toilet seat. The dealer sealed the last of the leaf with a flick of the tongue and a lick of spit, maintaining direct eye contact with Dina so she could not-so-subtly show off. She passed it to the brunette first, who mimed a cheeky, ‘why thank you’ and drew poutily. You three sat there for a while, smoking and talking, steam from the hot shower wafting above your heads as music pumped through the foundation of the house. 
There was laughter outside of the door and it soon became awkward for you, Ellie and Dina finishing the blunt, –you were a lightweight– and chatting idly as Dina traced a fingertip against the outline of the tattoo Ellie was showing off. 
The temperature of the tiny room ran hotter between their reddened eyes, and it was as though you were being banished by a galactic force. You couldn’t mistake how the red-haired girl’s glance caught an extra second or so at the way Dina’s body was hugged just right in her party dress, cleavage strained against the fuchsia PVC of her neckline, and how she bit the corner of her lip when her eyes hooked on a dark mole on Dina’s breast that was framed by the feathers of her black hair.  
It was time to go, unless you were interested in seeing your best friend get dug out on the countertop.
You were already a little bit wobbly, hearing a giggle that slipped from Dina’s lips morph into a squeak as you slipped out of the crack you pulled in the door and into the fray, getting carried down the stairs and back over to the drinks. You crossed over a kissing couple, cutting into their makeout and heavy petting session, and through a huddled together group of girls whispering something about seeing an ex across the room. 
You gripped onto the countertop for stability when you finally broke free from the pulsating wave of bodies. There was a bit of everything surfing in deep bowls of ice and water, open bags of chips and snacks bunched up together on the island. You could not be sober for this shit. You wedged up the pop cap on a hard seltzer and brought it to your lips, the spirit coating your tongue and boiling its way into your stomach. There it was again, the familiar warm feeling in your hands and feet, the soft pressure already creeping across the flat of your face. Yeah, now that was it. The anxiety began to melt away, and you leaned against the countertop, flexing your legs. 
Wow, they’re inviting giants to the shindig too. You laughed to yourself as the scarlet-lit ocean parted, and a tall, wide figure walked through and into the darkness of a descending flight of stairs. If only it was that easy when you needed to piss, notwithstanding that you had already been in the bathroom.
 It’s fun being sardonic sometimes. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your roommate coming down the stairs, the dealer’s deft fingers pulling down part of her dress that rode up her ass.  She arched her head up, straining left and right like the eye of a submarine as she looked for you; her eyes lit up, waving to you as she fisted her companion’s belt loop, bouldering through the sea of people. She was high as fuck, if her bright pink eyes were enough to speak to it, and your gaze lingered over the new expanse of a deep purplish hickey on her neck, small indents from teeth glimmering with saliva in the light.  
There was that hotness again that burned in the pit of your stomach, not from drunkenness or anxiety, but the can of fruity liquor in your hand covered up for the embarrassing flush of your wild cherry-coloured cheeks. You peeled your eyes back up to her face and smiled dumbly. You’d never had *that* before. You’ve watched things before at least, and obviously, touched yourself to the thought, but you’ve never had someone to fool around with in bathrooms or hold your skirt when it rode up.
There was your first kiss, but it was in middle school, so it didn't count. It was all clammy lips, two noses that couldn’t get the space between them *quite* right, and an overzealous set of chompers that left you with a bloody lip. Actual horseshit, but somehow, a core memory. It was annoying in a way, how it just didn’t come to you, but you wanted to be wanted. To be lusted over, desired even in that casual touchy way that simmered between your best friend and the girl you didn’t know very well.  Dina was making grabby hands at you, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. Your drink bobbed as she whisked you to her will, you and Ellie sharing a knowing look as she pushed your bodies through the hall and down the darkness of the stairwell. 
– 
“RULES ARE SIMPLE,” some asshole in a hat bellowed as he stood over all of you who sat in the circle, mildly drunk off your asses and looking for easy fun. He held up a black beer bottle, carrying it like a trophy and swishing it around your noses for a closer look. “You kids might know seven minutes in heaven.” You didn’t know him, but according to Dina, this was his house, his party, and his very annoying rules. A light patch of raised skin played against his nose as he scrunched his nose over and over again, hands on hips, clearly trying to steal back whatever thought the liquor took from him. Jason, right? 
Whatever. 
“But we’re all grown-ups here, so I present to you–” He rolled the bottle in hand, clearly soft-launching his bright idea. “Fifteen minutes in purgatory!” There was a deep groan radiating from some, but there was a small minority that exploded in cheers, and whoops. “Pretty self-explanatory, two adventurers venture deep into purgatory, and come out forever changed.
“Two adventurers go deep into purgatory,” He gestured his head at the foreboding broom closet in the back of the room. “And return forever changed.” 
“We’ll use the bottle to choose our unlucky voyagers, and you’ll spend fifteen minutes in the closet.” He explained, dropping the mystique in the second half. “Alright kids, let’s start; and just for the record– If you’re a pussy, get the fuck out of the circle!”
The drunken cast of partiers whooped and cheered, hyping each other up, spilling beer out of red cups as they gestured wildly, entirely too grown for this. The room played ‘not it’ to pick who got the first spin, and the unfortunate soul was a blonde who sat cross-legged, blank-eyed at the black glass handed to her, nodding her head tersely. 
“We got our very own Abigail Anderson– !” Her eyes narrowed. “Andddd….” Hat praised, cueing her to spin. She took the bottle, pointing the tip towards herself and then spinning it, the glass doubling, tripling the circle, making you dizzy chasing it with your eyes, and everyone sat with bated breath. It slowed and slowed and slowed, until, like ugly fate, it stopped at your feet.
“Our newbie!” He got up to cheese, leaning over you, placing his hands over your shoulders, and rocking you from side to side. You laughed awkwardly, putting your palms up defensively at nothing. 
“Um– uh…” You were at a loss for words, only cut off as his head shot into your field of view, hot, hopsy breath tanging your nostrils. “What, you scared?” He taunted, all eyes on you, watching as you nursed a deep discomfort about the whole thing behind an uneasy smile.  
“You’re a fucking asshole, Jordan.” The girl, Abby, groaned. She looked up at you from her downward pointing head, swishing her bottle of hard cider in the hand propped over her knee. Jordan, that was the name of this dickhead. Yeah, fuck him. “If she doesn’t want to get in the closet, she doesn’t want to get in the closet. I’ll just spin again.”
Dina cut in, the redhead still leaning lazily against her. “Yeah, don’t–dont be a dick, Jordan.” Her face was tight, and Ellie was annoyed because Dina was annoyed, and the room held a pregnant silence, and even though it wasn’t your fault, you felt all too responsible and all too uncomfortable with all of the eyes watching you.
“It’s fine, guys. Let’s all– eh, chill out, okay? I’m going to take the dare.” You leaned in, voice dropping to a whisper, trying to steal back the vibe, trying to replace the tension with playful drama as you circled your head around, wiggling the fingers slightly of your held-up palms. “Because I’m not a little bitch.”
The crowd exploded in raucous laughter, each voice clashing together and mimicking the sound of a pipe bursting. You looked over at your partner, who seemed pleasantly surprised, a smirk playing on her peach lips. She placed down her bottle and stood, and as she towered over you, you realised that maybe you were playing with fire. She was scary and nonchalant, but the outer workings of her face were soft and gentle. She didn’t look like the girls in the videos you watched at night; she was something different, uncharted, and before you knew it, a nervousness, and something lower, darker, ran through your body. 
Then it was time to go, you piling in first, looking around at some of the half-darkness in the room, barely enough to fit two people in. 
The asshole patted the girl’s back, corralling her into the closet behind you. Blood rushed to your head, the pressure was too great, like getting skullfucked through your ears. show her a good time, you could hear him say, and then something that you couldn’t quite understand over the bass. The mountain’s eyes narrowed, but before she could shoot back, her large body crashed into yours and the space became tighter and tighter, just enough for the two of you to put your arms out to either side or turn around. For a split second, you could see Dina’s face from over Jordan’s shoulder, tightened in concern, a timid thumbs up at the side of her head. Then, he closed the door, and the last of the light slipped out through the crack in the wall. 
There was a deep silence, and somehow, like the hazy feeling you get right before you wake from a dream, you were chest to chest in the darkness with her blue eyes staring back at you, damn-near bioluminescent. You’d seen her around, because everyone sees her around, but it hadn’t registered that the giant who had parted all of those people in the crowd like they were just water, was standing right in front of you. Outside you could hear the rumble of the music, vibrations of the bass wrapping around you and shaking you from the inside out. The closet was too tight, too warm, too filled with smells from towels and coats and folded blankets and dusty boxes of light bulbs and two cramped, awkward bodies. 
Suddenly, you felt all too intimidated.
“You’re Abigail, right?” You questioned. “Off the rugby team?”
“Abby.” You couldn’t read her face in the dark, and though she spoke pointedly she didn’t seem angry, but the accidental overstep was enough to make you want to dig a hole through the floor with your bare hands and die in it. “And yeah– captain, of the rugby team.”
“Oh, sorry, sorry.” You yielded. “So… what are we supposed to do? In here, I mean.” You gestured at nothing, knocking some washcloths from a top shelf down in the dark. “Ah, damn it.” You cursed under your breath, bending down to pick up the small stack. You could hear Abby behind you, sucking her teeth with a judgy hum.  Her brows were almost touching her eyelids, captured in secondhand embarrassment, and she almost felt bad for how awkward you were, scrambling to pick them up from the floor.
  If you could see her face, you’d be able to tell how her eyes flicked up and down her body, taking everything in. Your black skirt slid slightly to bunch at the front, uncovering portions of your doughy thigh and the ever-so-tiniest range of fabric hiding your prettiest secret. She had to tear her eyes away, almost. She jumped, even, glad you couldn’t see as you popped back up. 
You were cute, holding the disheveled stack in your hands, a look of sheer pride on your face. You looked over to the side, tossing them unceremoniously on a free shelf, gravity taking a couple back to the ground. Your sated chuckle, the way your tits pushed up slightly, illuminated, almost framed like art by the neckline of your cream cardigan made her hungry. She pushed the ideas of what she wanted to do with them out of her mind, but damn, she could think about some things that would make the devil embarrassed. She stomped down her desire, stoicism crossing her for a second, only for her to open it back up on second thought.
“They want us to fool around, fuck, ideally.” She started, analysing your expressions for any hint of discomfort at the conversation. “But– we don’t have to do anything.” She tried to cut some of the thick discomforts with a placating smile, almost lost in detail in the low light. She was huge, more so than you, or most anyone else you knew, the jutting-out edge of a shelf knocking the back of her head every time she leaned her head back in the tight space. The hard washboard of her torso was framed by an opening of a grey hoodie and barely much else, just the thick band of her boxers peeking from her sweatpants, and the black of a cropped tank top that stopped right below her bra line. 
“Jordan… is typically a good guy, but when he gets drunk he’s a total POS.” Abby was sallow-faced, pursing her lips, tension running through her jawline. “I shouldn’t have let him put you on the spot like that. So… I’m sorry that you got pressured to get in here.”
“It’s fine, I just.” You started, ready to say that big phrase, the one that slightly burned your back to admit. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“What, played seven minutes in heaven? Yeah, kind of a jackass thing to suggest in your twenties.”
Shit. She was going to make you say it. 
“No. I mean I’ve never–” and you thought your tiny voice couldn’t get any tinier. “had sex before.” 
Abby breathed in the deepest sigh, pure anxiety crossing her face for a split second, before she was feeding you apologies. “It’s fine, we don’t have to do anything we can just sit here and talk. Or be in silence if you want it’s alr–”
“I want to do it.” You said doggedly, pressing yourself into a tiny corner. Her brow perched, and there was something in those narrowing blue eyes that said she didn’t believe you. You were pigeontoed, legs shifting against one another, declaring in your firmest voice that you wanted her to take your virginity. 
“Are you sure?” She breathed out, stepping a bit closer. “You don’t have to feel pressured to do anything because you think they want a show.”
“Oh, my god.” You were pouting, annoyed. “I can choose if I want to have sex you know, and I want to have sex right here right n–”
She kissed you, softly as possible, testing your waters to see how far you were willing to go. Her hands were patient, one lightly knotted in the woolen knit of your cardigan to lightly pet your lower back, the other making gentle grips on your sweatered arm. Her fingers were barely bruising, gripping around your wrist almost tight enough, and a tiny shockwave coursed between your thighs and convinced you that you wanted more. In this low light, in this dark room, in this place between space and time, you wanted to be her conquest. To be taken, touched, manhandled, to be made to weather the storm of her overwhelming strength against you, lost in the middle of the ocean.
It was perverted, almost, how the idea of her showing restraint raised hairs on your skin, how you deepened the kiss like you were being overcome with an insatiable, bloody hunger. You had to take back the moment, to steal her attention in a way she couldn’t deny before she thought you were all talk; you stepped closer, positioning yourself so that her thigh hovered right below the heated space under your skirt. Her hand was warm, soft as you grabbed it, moving it lower, deeper down the divot of your back and where the fat of your ass connected. She caught on, groaning into your lips as she kneaded around your body, her tongue sweeter and heavier against yours, working that one damned hand up your skirt to cup bare skin. 
You jumped. 
As fast as it had come, her hand slipped back from under your skirt and the touch was lost completely, awkwardly hovering for a second until Abby pulled it back into her pocket and stepped back. You were miserable, eyes welling up in frustration like a lost dog at the lack of feeling. She was pulling you into insanity but was too chivalrous to drown you in it, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly as she looked down at you.
“Fuck– didn’t mean to be aggressive like that. I–” The redness bled across her cheeks, freckles on full display as her fingers met the wet spot that you were hiding, your hands guiding hers to the space between your thighs. There was a pause, a knowing, a challenge between the two of you as an unknown heat spread throughout your bodies, and you collided once more. The blonde’s mouth sucked a nasty pressure into your throat, agitating it with bites and licks as her head traveled deeper, hands playing at the front of your sweatered torso to undo the buttons that held your breasts hostage. 
Her entrance was assured as she popped the loops open, fingers gripping the fabric of your camisole and lifting up, taking your bra with it. She nipped at the exposed flesh, heat from her mouth traveling directly to your vagina, clit throbbing hard with need. Abby engulfed a nipple with the wetness of her tongue, closing her lips around the rapidly hardening bud to pull it to full attention, chuckling as she scraped the flesh with her teeth. The wet head was replaced with her palms, each thumb and forefinger rolling one or the other. The sensitivity of the tiny flesh was insane, enough to make you whine out loud as she continued, better than anything you had ever done to yourself. 
You were biting your lip, eyes big and doe-like as you waded through your pleasure, soft pants heaving your chest. She fished it out from between your teeth and hooked it within her own, popping the plump flesh into her mouth as she pared yours with her tongue. You swore the room was spinning, a wetness slicking between your thighs, a drip positioned between two pairs of hungry lips. You could’ve spent all fifteen minutes– or an eternity, in this beautiful hell, giving and taking and relishing in a different, sort of strange type of want.
“Don’t stop.” You moaned in between stolen breaths, the blonde chasing your mouth each time you pulled away.
“For you, pretty?” Gripping you tighter for emphasis, pressing you closer into the wall, angling further between your spread legs. “Never.” 
It was like you were some weird intoxication to her, a drug that she couldn’t get enough of. How your ass molded right into the divots of her palms, those tiny moans that rang through the cage you two were in, the rapid beating of your heart rippling through your body. She wanted to peel your cardigan from your shoulders, wanted to shred your clothes from your body and take you however she liked, and make you feel better than you knew what to do with. Needed to make you scream and fuck you until you cried. But it was your first time, so she resigned to being gentle and soft, like you were a little deer in the forest, and she was trying to get close without scaring you off. so she would give you only what you needed. 
She didn’t have a lot of strong feelings about that nickname she had earned in sophomore year, War Machine, from all of the pretty girls she ran through and left unable to walk, unable to talk for a couple of days or more. but when Jordan said it, in front of you, in front of sweet and innocent, pretty and tiny *you* she could’ve reeled back and torn him apart. But she still didn’t want to scare you. So she had forced an alright, the one a child forces when they get scolded, and hid the burning in her palms that made her want to fight in the pocket of her pants. 
Your eyes bored x-rays through her formidable thighs as she bent her knees to squad before you, strong hands rubbing up and down your thighs with contrasting gentleness to the hard angles of her face, the brow that was crooked down slightly in concentration, the slightly parted lips playing with mischief as they took you in. You were frightened for just a second, until Abby looked up at you with sympathetic eyes, a hand leaving your thigh and linking with your fingers, guiding you to the base of her skull to envelop her honeyed strands. 
She was back at you, the darkness in your stomach leaking out as you palmed her head, and she ran her hands upward, more upward, until the ruffles of your cotton skirt were overturned in her palms. From the waist down, you were completely exposed, a wet spot working itself into your panties from your innermost recesses and a musky scent betraying your shyness. 
Abby pressed herself gently into the fabric, her fat lips creating a cool pressure against the hot flesh, her nose itching lightly into your pubis. You bucked your hips unconsciously, nearly fucking her face in your abandon. A vibration from her laugh traveled through you, nestled inside of you, and more wetness began to slick your channel. That friendly ache formed in your rapidly hardening clit, and a similar pain throbbed in your pinkie and middle finger. Her other hand moved up, gripping fistfuls of your ass, less forgiving now, and forcing a squeak from your lips. 
You were dumbstruck; a stranger’s hands all over you, mouth nearly on top of your sacred place, nearly leaking from sheer lust. She had barely done anything. Your jaw slacked, and in your mind you felt like a fool, lamenting how you thought your first time would be special. Soft circles rubbed into your inner thigh as she pulled your legs apart, peppering angel kisses throughout the little divots. 
“S’okay, baby.” Her voice was barely a whisper, a tiny encouragement that calmed the buzzing in your mind. “Tell me how you want me. I’m yours.” 
and you thought that declaration would destroy you,’ I’m yours.’ and it felt very, very real. 
“I want you to touch me.” You said, barely a whisper, nodding as she pressed her face to your thigh, sliding down your panties to about knee-level. It was as though she had seen heaven’s gate open, awestruck at the blood rushing to engorge your lips, how your clit stood on end without even being touched. The thatch of hair curling between your thighs and around your depths. She had to have a taste, and there wasn’t much room for second-guessing as she pressed her mouth to the hot spot and flattened her tongue directly against the wettest space.
Juicy noises slid from her mouth as she rolled your clit between her tongue and sucked sharply with her lips, and it was as though you could’ve sunk to the floor, the way your legs became distinctly not yours. It was enough, enough, not enough, then too much. It was like you were an endlessly gushing fountain as Abby’s wet, firm tongue parted your lips, dipping ever so lightly into your hole as she licked out a string of nectar from your drooling cunt. It was as though you were animated, possessed even, as your hands flew into her hair, pushing her head down further and further, to that release you chased violently and madly. 
Abby was humble, letting you guide her where you needed her; she was soft at first, but you didn’t want soft, you wanted more. 
She obliged. 
The blonde slipped her fingers between your thighs and parted your slit, opening up an endless, waiting tightness. She was intrepid, pressing through your clenching muscle and opening you up more than you had ever done; thick digits tearing through you, fucking your pussy at an unforgiving pace, concentration forming in the muscles of her neck. You hid an inhuman growl in the pit of your throat, in the crook of your sweatered elbow, and she moaned out, satisfied with that which she had created inside of you. You were fucking her face in a tight, dirty closet, calf propped over a muscled shoulder for support, the heel of your booties pressing into the wall, locking her in.
 It was as though the two of you were fighting, every roll of your hips she chased with her head, every time you shied away from the pleasure she held you harder, taking you even hungrier, diving deeper to a spot you didn’t know was there; every taut pull at her scalp met with an even tighter grip into the flesh of your plush ass. The pads of her fingers violated the sopping warmth of your cunt, and you clenched your stomach unwittingly, walls flexing, holding her hand there. Drool dripped from between her lips, pooling and soaking down into the fibres of an old shag rug, caked with dust and whatever else. 
Your own slipped between your lips before you could suck it back in, and the silver trail bounced, the way it does when it breaks, and the thick drop cascaded down her temple, getting lost in your brow. The piece that was yours snaked down your collarbone and between your breasts and somehow, you felt a connection. 
Abby snorted, sucked in a breath as her fingers left you empty. Fuck. She didn’t go for her face, wiping them on the skin of your pussy, they traveled upwards, firm grips on your ass. She rubbed the flesh as though she was throwing clay, stretching the skin between her rough fingers, calluses on her palms coasting over every bump and groove. She had found what she had wanted, craning her neck lower, lower, until you could just barely see her eyes. Her fingertips prodded, greedy, opening your lips, tongue leching against your soft fruit as though she was funneling the juices directly into her mouth. You thought your thighs would give out but she held you, stronger, and you fed her willingly. 
Her middle finger dipped down into the slit, collecting juices, stealing a breath from your lungs, you wanted to scream her name but it was caught inside of you, so you stood slack-jawed, fuck drunk as she abused your walls, fucking every ridge painfully slow. The tight hole stretched around the meatiness of her finger, and she hooked it as though she was searching, retreating from the warmth, slick with your nastiest of liquids. Again, she split your ass with one hand, and you clenched your tightest hole without thinking about it. 
“Don’t worry,” She said, muffled against your mound as she latched against it once more, “gonna help you so fucking good.” You were confused, but you trusted her, a complete stranger. For a second you began to ask what there was to worry about, but your mind was pried away from you as you felt the pressure of her coated fingertip tracing around your asshole. A gentle kiss played at the head of your pussy, comforting you as you nodded your head wildly, something of a ‘yes’ flying from your throat as her middle finger parted that threshold. 
Your mind exploded, head shooting straight up into the air, a small yelp burning into a silent open-mouthed cry. You were spinning, the room was spinning, your body heated up instantly. Then, the wet warmth traveled back to your clit, her opposite hand nestling two fingers into your aching, needy twat, her tongue lapping as her fingers resumed digging and that one damned finger fucked in and out of your tightest hole painfully slow. 
She fucked you like an animal; you cried out like a bitch in heat. The music trembled through your ears, and you were afraid it wouldn’t be enough, that everyone would hear, everyone would know. You were both drunk and this didn’t matter, didn’t mean anything, but she was bottoming her tongue out in you and you wanted it to mean a lot. Girls talked and you fucking hated them all. She was loose, she got around, and you wanted to be hers. 
You wanted to capture her and be interesting to her and walk with her hand on your lower back around campus. Wanted her callused fist in your hair, around your neck as she took you every night. Wanted badly to fucking cum, to open the portal, to wash her face with this unholy water, wanted to kiss wet lips and taste everything. Wanted to know if she could ever like you, after you gave it up, quickly, bellowing like a foghorn against a rack of coats. You wanted to be kept, to keep her spit inside of you like a keepsake but she sucked it back in a quick second, before you could even feel her cheeks hollow between your thighs, and felt dirty for even thinking of it. 
A sweet pain formed between your thighs and you couldn’t stop the groan that rose from your throat, every muscle in your face clenching and unclenching, your eyes crossing as your orgasm came quickly into view. Abby fucked you through it, fingers slow and forgiving. It was as though a stream of slowly descending tidal waves were crashing against you, and you needed more, it hurt but you needed more. Something deep burned inside of you, endlessly hot, and you wondered how she could stand the heat as she hit it over and over again.  You sobbed, and swore that you could feel a tear roll down your cheek, feeling the need to rub your eyes for good measure.  
She looked up, entranced, face softening for a second, watching as you gave up your mind to your body. There was a hard knock at the door, the music lowered a decibel, silence filling the two of you, her fingers still deep inside of your two holes. A sing-song voice bellowed out ‘five minutes!’ and the darkness ridged her eyes. 
For the first time, her voice was hard, removing her hand from your cunt, making sure to curl the one in your ass tighter in compensation. She slammed the door twice with her fist, the frame bulging in a way that made you fear the whole thing would just fall down. “Fuck off.” Her voice was loud enough to tear through the uncomfortable tension. There was an apprehensive, ‘woah man,’ that you could barely hear, and the music regained, the party rejoiced, and hopefully, the fear of God being struck enough in your host to leave well enough alone. 
Her lips were still slick, soft, kissable with your juices. She flashed you a genuine, pretty smile.  Her hands gripped a little too tight but you wanted it all. She looked down at the mess between your trembling thighs, then at your heavy, panting face. She leaned back on her heels as a wide smile played on her face, satisfied with herself. A windy chuckle passed through her glistening lips, wiping her mouth and chin on the inside of her hoodie. “Fuckin’ insane.” She breathed out in between pants. 
“Abby.” She said, as though the strength of your orgasm traveled through your brain and made you forget the events of the last 15 minutes. “Constance Hall. Dorm 425 on the second floor.” It was as though your heart skipped a beat, but you punched it down, a weak smile playing against your lips. 
She was fucking disheveled, almost inhaling the last sweet smells of your pussy, creating a memory of the flavour and filing it away in her mind for safekeeping. She was delicate, pulling your white panties up to your thighs again, soothing a finger where those soft, curly pussy hairs were hidden again. She let down her hands, skirt furling down, covering the marks of dark possession that she left behind. “Come see me again sometime, ‘kay?” She chuckled, giggled even, and that glint in her eyes was enough to make you faint. 
She stood up, waiting for you to compose yourself and straighten everything out before she pushed open the now-unlocked door and peeked her head out.
Jordan was already on her as the door flew open, and you could hear his hushed nosiness as you hugged the wall and tried to act casual, eyes locked on her retreating back as she reentered the room, light haloing her. ‘So what happened?’ you swore his lips read, and your stomach dropped. But she cut through his questions, loud enough for you to hear, convincing enough that he wouldn’t have anything to run his mouth about later on. 
“Nothing man, we were just talking.”
Maybe she was actually just that charming. 
Yeah.
1K notes · View notes
strniohoeee · 1 year ago
Note
idk what to ask but something super angst enemies to lovers with matt
Disregard(Matt’s Version)
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Matt and Y/N hate each other. However one night at a party things take an ugly turn, and Matt’s there to help her. Feelings are expressed but are these feelings mutual? 🌷
Warning⚠️: None really some guy tries to take advantage of reader.
Song for the imagine: R U Mine?- Arctic Monkeys
And satisfaction feels like a distant memory
And I can’t help myself
All I ever wanna say is “are you mine?”
“You at a party with Matt? How’s that going to work” my friend asked me over the phone laughing
“It’s going to work because I hate him, and I will be far away from him duhh” I said raking through my closet looking for an outfit
“I just don’t know how you can hang out with him and his brothers when yall can’t stand one another” she said
“Well Nicks my friend mostly sadly and Chris is cool, but Matt’s just always there” I said huffing when I couldn’t find the shirt I wanted
“Why don’t you and Nick just hang out” she responded
“I mean we have, but they are always together. I’ve learned to just not acknowledge him” I said laughing
“Man I don’t know how you’ve been sticking it out this long” she said to me
“He was at his worse in high school, so if I got over that I can get over anything” I responded back
“Mmm that’s true he was an annoying little shit” she said giggling
“He really was, and he was such a dick” I said rolling my eyes
“He was, but I’m gonna let you go girl. I know you have to prepare for this party, and I’m about to head out with my man on a date” she said to me
“Alright girl I love you, and have fun I’ll talk to you soon” I responded
“Love you too, and have fun as well” she responded
I hung up and finished looking through my closet for another outfit.
“FINALLYYYY” I said as I found the shirt I’ve been hunting for
To be honest I’m not too sure why my hate for Matt was still there. I’ve been friends with Nick for 5 years now, and although Matt was an asshole in school I couldn’t stop my hate towards him.
He just was always there, and swore he was hot shit. He wanted to be cool and mysterious so badly and it annoyed the shit out of me.
I agreed when Chris called him “tough” because it was true. He acted like this big bad guy, and like he was too good for everybody. Hated it and I hated him
Initially I really liked him, but he destroyed all of that when we were in high school. It haunted me daily…..man fuck Matt
I finished getting ready and decided to Uber over to the triplets house since Nick wanted us to carpool
I headed into their house and walked up to nicks room
“Nickkkk” I said as I walked in and hugged him
“Heyyy” he said pulling away
“Excited for tonight?” I asked him as I sat on his bed
“Very! I haven’t been to a party in a while” he said looking in his closet
“Oh my gosh sameeee” I said
“Should I wear a pink shirt or a black shirt?” He asked
“Mmmmm pink, that color looks good on you” I said back
“I was thinking the same” he said laughing
Suddenly Chris and Matt barged into his room
“YOOO” Chris yelled coming in
“Hey” I said smiling at him
“Stop fucking screaming like a bafoon” Nick said
“Uhhh who brought the negative Nancy” Chris said rolling his eyes
Nick just rolled his eyes at Chris as he finished getting ready in his bathroom
“Nick I have a question” I said getting up
“What’s up?” He asked
“Do you have my perfume I left here a while back” I asked
“Mmm I should, might be in my top drawer” he said
“Yeah you might want to mask that smell” Matt said laughing
“Ew….youre not funny” I said giving him a dirty look
“Yeah and youre ugly” he said making an ugly face
“You act like a two year old” I said not even looking at him
“Alright children enough” Chris said rolling his eyes
“I’m going to wait downstairs, I’m not going to allow Matt to ruin my night” I said after I sprayed myself with perfume and leaving Nicks room
About 10 minutes later they all came down and we decided to head out. Matt drove us to this influencers house who they knew and we headed in
“Alright guys don’t get too wild and try not to fight anyone” Nick said
“Got it” we said laughing
We walked in and started to say hi to the people we knew. I headed into the kitchen to make myself a drink because this was going to be a long night.
I was sitting in the kitchen sipping on my drink while people watching when I saw someone from the corner of my eye.
“Hey” he said, I looked over at him smiling as I swallowed my drink
“Hi” I said properly
“I’m Grey, but most people call me G” he said sticking his hand out for me to shake
“I’m Y/N” I said shaking his hand
“Are you here alone?” He asked as he began to make himself a drink
“Oh no I’m here with some friends, but we branched off” I said to him
“Oh nice yeah I did the same. I think my friends with some girl or some shit” he said shaking his head
“Ahh yes the classic party hook up” I said
“So cliche right” he said laughing
I went to answer but Matt walked into the kitchen clearing his throat and shoving in between us to get a Pepsi
“Oh uh am I interrupting something?” Matt asked looking between Grey and I
“No, go away Matt” I said sighing
“Cant I get a drink?” He said cheering my cup and giving me a shit eating grin
“I’m going to uhhh I’m going to head out” Grey said before walking off
“You fucking dick” I said punching Matt
“I came to get a drink” he said shrugging his shoulders
“You’re such a fucking asshole I hate you” I said finishing my drink and going to make another one
“Not sure why you hate me” he said scoffing
“Tuh- you’re not sure?” I said grabbing a coke to mix with Malibu
“Mmm no not really” he said shaking his head
“Oh well let me jog your memory shall I? You were an absolute piece of shit in high school. You called me every terrible name under the sun. You turned our whole grade against me. Let’s not forget that so-called prank you pulled on me. Calling me telling me you liked me when you knew I liked you asking me out and then telling me it was a joke and that you truly hated me. Oh not to mention you recorded it and sent it to the whole fucking school. You humiliated me in front of everyone” I said mixing my drink
“It wasn’t that serious, you know. I was hanging around asshole guys and I thought it was cool” he said nonchalantly
“You’re still the same way though” I said scoffing
“I’m really not” he said
“You are Matt….you are. I don’t know what I ever did to you, but I know I don’t deserve this shit” I responded
“Oh don’t act innocent you weren’t a saint” he said
“Yeah maybe in high school I got you back a few times but nothing compared to the shit you out, and that was high school were 21 now” I responded
“I have my reasons and you have yours” he said
I looked at him and scoffed…what is he even saying
“Grow up Matt” I said lifting off the counter to walk away
“Right back at you” he said shaking his head
“And stay the fuck out of my way” I said shoving past him
I walked off angrily and decided to look for Grey because I really needed to take my mind off of Matt. He was making my blood boil and my head spin
I saw Grey sitting on a couch scrolling through his phone
“Hey stranger” I said walking up to him
“Oh Heyy Y/N” he said smiling and locking his phone to put it away
“Sorry about that back there he can be a bit annoying” I said sitting next to him
“Ex boyfriend drama?” He asked
“Oh god no. Rival since high school” I said laughing
“Damn since high school” he said
“Yeah” I responded taking a seat next to him
Grey and I had been talking on the couch for a while. His fingers and hands often becoming loose and touching me. Nothing that made me uncomfortable, but it was certainly strange.
Unbeknown to Y/N Matt was watching her and Grey the whole time. He had a weird feeling about him, but couldn’t put his finger on it. He didn’t like that Grey was touching her, but she didn’t seem bothered so he stood back.
“Hey want to head up to a room I can’t really hear you” Grey asked nicely
“Ummm yeah sure” I said
“Nothing weird I promise” he said laughing
“Oh no worries” I said laughing and getting up to follow him
Matt was sitting as he watched them get up and head to the stairs. His ears perking up at this…..something was telling him to follow them.
Slowly Matt got up following behind them at a good distance. Listening in on their convo as best as he could. Didn’t seem strange, but he still wanted to make sure Y/N was okay.
Grey and Y/N had walked into a room shutting the door behind them, and Matt stood a few feet behind. He didn’t want to listen in, but he also wanted to make sure nothing weird was about to go down
“So tell me more about you” Grey said as we both sat on the bed
“Mmm well I’ve been living here for a while now, I’m originally from Boston” I said scanning my brain for more things to say
“Nice nice” he said staring at me
“I’m not sure what else to say” I said giggling
But Grey didn’t say anything he just stared at me….it started to bother me
“Is there something on my face?” I asked getting nervous
“Oh uh no sorry you’re just gorgeous” he said
“Oh thank you” I said looking down
At first coming up here seemed like a good idea, but now I’m worried he got the wrong picture. I did not want anything to do with this man other than a possible friendship. This was started to bug me out
Suddenly he started to lean in, I jumped up
“Oh no no that’s not why I came up here” I said backing away
“Oh? Well then why did you come up here” he asked shocked
“Umm because I thought you wanted to hear me better not try to kiss me” I said looking at him weirdly
“Well one kiss wouldn’t hurt” he said getting up
“No I’m good” I said nodding my head at him
“Just one come on” he said in a sleazy way
“And I said no. No is a full sentence” I said getting upset
“Stop being a tease already” he said
“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I do not want to kiss you” I said
He came closer and I backed away banging into a table against the wall
“Back away” I said
On the other side Matt heard the muffled conversations and the scuffling going on between two people, but he didn’t know what was going on.
“Please stop” I said pushing him off of me as we struggled against the table causing some things to fall
“Come on baby” he said getting upset
“FUCK OFF” I yelled pushing him off and grabbing the front door
My eyes surprised me when I made eye contact with Matt who was standing infront of the door
“Matt?” I asked confused
“What’s going on?” He said looking behind me into the room
“Nothing” I said pushing him back trying to get him to leave
“Your little bitch is a tease” Grey said to Matt
“She’s not a bitch, and if she said no then it’s no” Matt said looking the dude up and down
“She doesn’t want you either, so don’t try to be Superman” he said scoffing
“Fuck you. I’m being a decent human being respect her” Matt said
“What are you going to do about huh?” He said laughing at Matt
“Come on stop” I said trying to pull Matt away
“No” he said pushing my hand away
“You’re a piece of shit” Matt said walking towards Grey
“Don’t care” he said still laughing
Matt looked at him before punching him in the jaw
“MATT WHAT THE FUCK” I yelled out
They both started to scuffle around throwing punches
“Stop it” I said trying to pull Matt away
Matt hit the guy again in the nose causing him to stumble backwards
“When a woman tells you no that means no” he said backing away from Grey
“Matt we have to go now” I said pulling him away
Matt and I ran down the stairs and to his car
“Are you okay?” He asked me as we got in the car
“Yeah I’m fine” I said bluntly
“What a sick fuck” he said turning his car on
“Why do you care?” I asked
“Well I got a bad vibe from him okay, and I just didn’t want you to get hurt” he said as he pulled off
“Matt caring about me” I asked
“I don’t care about you…..I just didn’t want some creep to take advantage” he said scoffing
“Mm don’t care about me sureeeee” I said sitting back in my chair
“I don’t fucking like you okay Y/N” he said getting upset
“Feelings mutual I could’ve handled my own” I said
“Didn’t seem like it” he said
“I had it” I said getting upset with him
“You’re so stubborn” he said
“And so are you” I said
“Just stop okay” he said gripping the steering wheel tighter
“Stop what? Just take me home and shut up” I said rolling my eyes
“You’re such a bitch I try and help you and this is what I get” he said
“Stop the car” I said bluntly
“No” he said
“Matthew stop the fucking car now” I said
Matt looked over at me and pulled over. I hopped out and began to walk
“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked
“Shut the fuck up” I said continuing to walk
Matt hopped out the car following behind me
“Get in the car now” he said sternly
“You’re not my dad, go away” I said shooing him
“I’m not asking you again. Get in the car now” he said trailing closer to me
“GO AWAY” I yelled at him
Matt ran a little faster and grabbed my arm pulling me to turn around
“IM NOT LEAVING YOU HERE STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GET IN THE CAR” he yelled at me
“Let go of me” I said pulling my arm away from him harshly
“Get in the car. I know you hate me. I get that, but get in the car. I’ll take you home and I’ll never bother you again” he said
“Matt no I’m not going anywhere with you” I said
“Stop being so stubborn holy shit” he said pulling at his hair
“No one told you to save me, no one told you to take me home and no one told you to follow me out here. You don’t like me so go away” I said turning around to keep walking
“Yeah I don’t like you because…..because I love you” he said
I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around to face him
“What?” I asked
“I love you okay” he said shaking his head
“No no you’re not doing this. After all these years of being a piece of shit you’re not about to pull this I love you card” I said pointing at him
“I’ve been a horrible person I know, but I truly didn’t know how to express myself. And i know these words probably mean nothing. But I want you to know I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hide my true feelings by pretending to be mean to you. When I saw you and that guy I got so jealous because that….that should be me” he said
“I don’t know what to say to you” I said shaking my head
“That’s okay. Just get back in the car, let me take you home. And you don’t have to see me ever again” he responded
“Matt I… I don’t know what to say because I love you too. I have loved you since high school, and I masked these feelings with hatred because it was the easiest thing to do” I said
“I’m sorry, okay. I never meant to hurt you the way I did” he said
“I don’t know if I can accept that apology right now. You hurt me badly” I told him
“I get that, but just let me take you home and we can talk about it tomorrow” he said
“Ok” I responded in a whisper
I got back into Matt’s car and he drove me home. The whole ride was silent. My thoughts racing in my head about what he told me….did he really love me?
Matt got to my apartment complex and walked me to my apartment door
“Thanks Matt” I said looking at him
“Oh yeah no worries can’t have you walking alone at night” he said
“No. I mean for everything tonight thank you” I said smiling
“Oh yeah. Of course” he said smiling back
“Ummm I really like you, and you did hurt me, but I want to work this out” I said
“Yeah yeah I do too” he said looking at my eyes
“Well goodnight Matt” I responded opening my door
“Can I have a hug?” He asked shyly
I smiled at this and pulled him in for a hug, kissing him on the cheek
“I appreciate you truly for tonight” I said smiling weakly
He nodded his head at me
“I’ll call” he said
“I’ll answer” I responded
And with that I walked into my apartment locking the door behind me.
Matt drove back to pick up his brothers. Once he was home he laid in bed smiling to himself.
I can’t wait to hear her voice again.
The End
I hope you enjoyed this one I love yall sooo much omgg🥹🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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moneymartin · 6 months ago
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cowgirl shauna hcs? :0 maybe transmasc cowboy reader 🫣
🐶 - cowgirl!shauna hcs
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warnings: smut underneath the other divider and suggestive content above it :3 meant for tmasc!r but half can be seen as gn.
a/n: sorry yall i rlly thought the fic was gonna come out today but i have to start packing up for sequoia earlier than i was supposed to ?? anyways go easy on me w this one lol first shauna thing
taglist: @deerlottie @ultrone
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she is the towns sweetheart for sureeee!!!!
it’s the charm… i mean the southern accent.
she’s always seen lassoing the cows on her farm or doing some stuff with the tractor for the crops
def has a goat somewhere on that farm
named buttercup.
her horse’s name is dolly or something stupid like sweetie pie
has one of the rlly cute horses though so
one like this
she’s always in the saloons fosho
that’s where you met her ackshually
other than the fact that she sees you riding around on your horse in the desert w a revolver in your pocket to look cool 😭
she thinks you’re really freakin handsome like she cannot stop thinking about you
after a break up or something with your gf she ends up finding you at the saloons all mopey and you drowning yourself in crappy beer
you were probably all rustled up
i mean crying
she’s swooning you over tho INSTANTLY!!! the accent is everything to you
she ended up sitting next to you and asked you if you were okay like she was supes careful about your feelings 🥲
but you’re so drunk you can’t even understand 💀💀💀
so she takes you to some mountain where you can get a nice breather afterwards:(
you’d end up kissing her accidentally i fink… she’s mid sentence and you do it unconsciously
shauna isn’t shocked but she’s more so into it
she’s running her hands through your hair and feeling underneath your shirt for some chest hair:3
definitely runs her fingers over your top surgery scars 🥹 saying you’re handsome over and over again like ughhh
you’re the outlaw of the town though like your face is plastered all over the place with wanted posters
but she still LIKES YOU!!!
i strictly believe that she’d have a strawberry farm and that she’d come over to the saloons to find you and give you a fresh basket of them every week
she bakes with them too me thinks
chocolate covered strawbs are her specialty
and you’re the taste tester 🤞
you’d come over to her place with your horse lookin all hot or wtv but when you see her you get all soft and stuff
which is different since everyone thinks you’re super scary cs you’re literally a criminal 😭
hugging and kissing shauna while picking her up is your guys’ thang
i’m imagining there being another guy fighting over her and she’s making you two fight for her physically …
if he won she’d still pick you ☺️
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if you’re a first timer she’s a TOTAL angel
telling you what to do and everything she’s amazing
if you hurt her i think she’d make you stop for a little before going again but she doesn’t get upset because she knows you’re unexperienced 🥲
okay but when it comes to her doing smth to you…
MERCILESS
she’s sucking you off at the same time while fingering you like holy shiet
if you guys were alone she’d sit on you for a while while playing w your hair
before she starts grinding on you…
GIVING YOU ALL THOSE SOUTHERNY NICKNAMES TOO DURING IT
“darlin’” “sugar” “cutie pie” “lovebug”
those are so cute fr tho
praises you too
takes you to the mountains where you accidentally kissed her that one time to hookup every now and then
makes you wear your cowboy hat while she rides your strap
save a horse ride a cowboy type shi
OMAGAH WOW
“easy now, cowboy” when you’re fucking her without her doing everything for the first time
def your favorite line
she prefers when you’re still all cowboyish thats why she wants the hat on at ALL times
WHEEWWW i need her .
IM DONE THANK YOU
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iireneleee · 1 year ago
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MY FAVOURITE PLACEMENTS FOR EACH SIGN (with explanation of course 😚😚)
remember, don’t take this too seriously cause this whole thing is fully based on my own personal opinion so im sorry if I didn’t mention your placement(s). don’t be offended okay?! MUAH I love all of yall 💋
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Aries: I’d probably say 50% venus 25% moon 15% sun — honestly this is kinda hard for me cause my best best friend is an Aries moon and I get along very well with Aries moons however… this one girl that I broke off all contacts with cause she was obsessive ( she still hasn’t stop💔💔 even though we stopped talking for 2 years, super creepy) 50% venus because omg literally almost every single lovely person I know has that placement it’s mad. maybe it’s bc my venus conjuncts theirs (I’m also an aries venus) they express love in a way I adore so 💕💕 for aries sun, 25% because I’m only close with one aries sun but she’s literally so fly I love. but she says some weird stuff occasionally though she’s too unfiltered HAHAHA love that.
Taurus: definitely taurus moon 50% and taurus mercury 50% — taurus moons are literally the cutest people ever. idk why but all of y’all are like little hamsters in my eyes. taurus moons remind me so much of hamsters. many of you are probably leaders and I love being around you guys. super sweet and always there when I need y’all muah muah. people always stereotype you guys as lazy people but every single taurus moon I know are the most hardworking people ever. super admirable individuals 😚😚 those who have natal taurus mercury people are the funniest. y’all are like LOWKEY old souls. very good people to be in a group project with cause they always voice out the best opinions and ideas. they are also really relatable individuals they say things that many people would like relate to idk how to describe it, meme worthy i guess?? I love y’all so much. sometimes they ignore people when they say stupid stuff but whatever they’re literally one of the best people so they get a free pass.🤫🤫
Gemini: mmmm I’d say 50% gemini suns and 50% gemini risings. honestly, I haven’t met many gemini placements 😭 my sister is a gemini rising so i might be a little biased HAHAH sorry my bad my bad. i love gemini risings they always give me one of the best first impressions. i tend to get along really well with gemini risings and tend to gravitate towards them hehe. also for gemini suns, most are pretty cool. i realise that gemini suns tend to be really nice and grounded when you meet them but when you get closer to them they’re little devils IN A GOOD WAY hahah. all my interactions and memories with gemini suns are actually really good. they always promise a good time 🙏🙏
Cancer: CANCER VENUS🔥🔥 for sure cancer venus. omg i love them. they give really good hugs LOL. super sweet individuals. i love the way they express their love it’s so cute especially when you’re the recipient of the love literally so 😍😍. one of my friends have this placement and oml she gives such meaningful gifts. she is the reason why I have high expectations for gifts LOL. i really hope i get to befriend more cancer venuses 💔💔 they’re really thoughtful people who take initiative very very lovely 🫶
Leo: leo moons 🙏🙏 y’all are so chill. literally are the 😐 people ITS SO FUNNY . I love y’all so much I always have ‘beef’ with leo moons lol literally tom and jerry but it’s so fun. bickering (affectionately) I know I lot who don’t study but r really smart or at least all of y’all tell me you don’t study😐😐 I know a lot of you guys who r dancers too and omg really pro dancers srs srs. super fun people but they lowkey about it.
Virgo: definitely virgo sun + virgo venus I have so many virgo sun babes (aka friends) they’re so so sweet. im always having a fun carefree time when im with you guys. never a dull moment. you guys are like my babies srs srs you guys just gave me that youthful feel and it’s so refreshing omg🫂🫂. virgo venus people are so funny idek why they’re so underrated. they’re also very big mouth literally tell them something humiliating that happen to you and if it doesn’t sound like you’re very bothered by it trust people around you probably also know about it BUT it’s okay cause they cute, I can never get mad at them. also very playful people. 💋💋 i love talking to them but at the end of the convo omg we are like probably fighting / arguing (affectionately) LOL i don’t get many gifts from them honestly but they LOVE to give food. hehe 💋💋 to my virgo venus sweethearts
Libra: libra suns + libra moons so 50 - 50 hehe libra suns are really helpful people. they’re like honestly very libra idk why. they’re so so sweet, always there to listen to you ramble. my mama is a libra sun and omg she’s always listening to me ramble and rant ITS SO FUNNY. sometimes you guys are too nice to people that they tend to take advantage of your kindness so always be on the look out and know your worth 😚😚 . libra moons ARE SO FUNNY. i love you guys, y’all always make me lose my breath over your jokes. super random people who talk about out of pocket things but it’s so unique and fun with you guys that I can’t help but laugh everytime i see yalls face. also pretty smart people. you guys always do your best in things that you’re passionate about and it’s really admirable however, when y’all dgaf about stuff man all that quality work is gone LOL but it’s okay me too. best people to have around y’all remind me of those circus seals. 🔥🔥firee
Scorpio: scorpio venus — I really love scorpio venus individuals omg. they’re always there for you and always ready to attend all your big moments without fail. I had this one friend who has a scorpio venus and she take time out of her own busy schedule to train me for my interview and we stayed at the place until like the sunset it was so wholesome. not only did she do that but she was with me when I got my interview results like I was so shocked I thought she stayed cause she also had something to do afterwards but turns out she had nothing to do and she planned to wait for me and leave right after omg i literally melted. I treasure her so much and because of that I’ve always had a good impression of her. super sweet individuals. little cinnamon buns, warm and sweet. they also really are big on physical touch cliché I know but it’s real HAHA. everyone should have a scorpio venus friend or significant other 😭😭💋💋
Sagittarius: sagittarius moons — out of all my close friends in my click, half are sagittarius moons, it’s literally mad. they’re such unique individuals all of them have different personalities even though they have the same moon. but one thing they all have in common is that they find the weirdest stupidest unfunniest jokes funny. it’s mad. I can pull out a photo of a cat on the ground holding a fish and they’d be cracking up like mad. they all really enjoy being around positive and responsible people, people who are like them. they always burst out laughing idk y they try to hold their laugh but they never laugh normally. I love them though it’s always so comfortable around them MUAHHH💋💋
Capricorn: capricorn moons + capricorn mercury 50-50 — omg my baby capricorn moons, they’re so athletic, or maybe it’s just the capricorn moons I know but omg they’re so competitive when it comes to sport. they’re actually really reliable people even though they may seem quite playful and reckless. they tend to be good at math. love food. they also like to make handmade things for their friends and it’s really random. sometimes I come out of class one day and they just ask me if I want a cookie. LOL and one of my friends gave me a piece of paper that she doodled and drew on FOR ME it’s so cute and random but makes me physically like become the 🥺 emoji. love u guys. for capricorn mercuries y’all have the most underrated humour YALL ARE SO FUNNY LOL. you guys make the funniest jokes with the straightest faces like this face, 😐. MAKES ITS EVEN FUNNIER LOL. y’all tend to text a lot and are quite talkative actually. love you guys cause you guys never hesitate to make the conversation about the other party rather than yourself LOL JOKING ( but FR though you guys make me feel like the main character whenever I’m talking to u ) 🫂🫂
Aquarius: mmm i haven’t really befriended many who have aquarius placements so this may not be relatable😭😭 sorry!! but I’ll have to go with aquarius moons. — I tend to get attracted to aquarius moons cause they seem really fun. idk why but they all seem like a ball of sun to me. they remind me of fluffy cows HAHAH. they’re really cool individuals and they’re really kind. super sweet people who are always willing to help you and take initiative LOVE THEM💕💕. wish I get to know more aquarius moons, they’re just so loveable and reliable. 🫶🫶😚
Pisces: pisces moons 50% + pisces risings 25% + pisces mercury 25%💕💕💕 — OMG pisces moons BRUU literally my babes. I love them so much. they’re always there to help. they’re really responsible people even though they like to have fun. best people to have for group projects. they’re also really good at putting themselves in other peoples shoes hence making them very good at comforting others. very good friends that would do anything for you. they tend to radiate the same energy you give them so always give your best to them for you to receive the best💪💪 for pisces risings, I just really like they’re features. they all give like a reserved energy and many people would think that they’re really high achievers and admirable people with a cute face HEHE. they’re really sweet and awkward at first but once you get to know them omg it’s a huge difference they’re little devils LOLOLOL (in a good way🤫🤫) I tend to have many pisces rising friends maybe cause their rising is in my seventh house but 😚😚 whatever. they’re little choco pies, random ik but it just fits their whole persona . pisces mercuries are really chill people who like to talk. I love them so much cause like tend to relate to one another a lot and i just love to talk to them because they’re so easy to talk to. just pull out a random topic and they would prob be able to talk about it, very versatile speakers. also, they don’t really share their opinions at times. like sometimes i want to eat something with them but their whole face writes “no that looks disgusting” so I ask them if they’re sure that they’re fine with the restaurant and they say that they’re fine but they’re not really fine LOLOLOL they’re so cute HAHAH love them. they always put others before themselves.
made by: @iireneleee
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s-4pphics · 2 years ago
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scent of the pine. 2 (e.w.)
wc;cw : 5.4k, ANGSTTTT, sistersbestfriend!ellie, gutarist/producer!ellie, age gap(three years), violinist!oc, all ocs r black coded yall see it, queers being queer omg so lame🙄, descriptions of mania, anxiety and panic attacks, depression, lots of crying, yelling and screaming, ellie’s mean, but so is big sis😛, reader getting bold oop, slight smut(ellie gets head, but nothing super descriptive), like one mention of vaping/drinking, more time skips :|, cat’s kinda rich and hot😳, protective big sis struggles :(, more sad, brief mention of deceased and verbally abusive parents clock that teaaa :O, actual classical music references bc i’m a nerd obsessed w orchestras
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It was December, you were fifteen, and you haven’t heard from Ellie since her birthday. 
After you and your sister frantically left the Miller residence, you’d broke down on your front porch. Despite your attempts of trying to hide your devastation from your sister until you at least got inside, so many emotions—sadness, anger, love, lovelovelove — exploded right in front of your front door. 
What the fuck did she say to you?! your sister had asked angrily. You knew in your gut that she hadn’t been upset with you, but you couldn’t help the immense guilt that overtook your body. You’d unintentionally dragged your beloved sister into you and her best friend’s one-sided, fucked up love story. Even though you knew your sister loved Ellie, she loved you more and she would pick you over anyone that she knew without a second of doubt. You might’ve just ruined twelve years of friendship. You hated yourself. You wanted to disappear. 
Your sister had calmed you down enough for you to regain functionality and quietly walk inside so that you wouldn’t wake your mother. She’d bent down to help you unlace your boots as you dug your palms into your eyes. Your sister had quickly hung up her keys on the holder on the wall, tossed her clutch on the couch, and guided you upstairs. 
After both of you got to her room, she gently closed the door behind you before she started pressing you for information. She was always there to gently talk you back down to earth when you were overwhelmed, but when her angered tone penetrated your ears and your skull, you knew you wouldn’t be getting out of this one easily. 
“What the fuck just happened!” she angrily whispered as she trapped your back to the door with an accusatory point of her finger. 
Your trembles began peaking again. All you could do was shake your head. Don’t say it. Don’t. You were so frazzled that you hadn’t noticed your sister’s phone buzzing in her hand the second you both left. Ellie. You knew it was Ellie. It had to be her. Ellie. Oh god. EllieEllieEllie—
She’d raised her voice slightly as she called your name in attempts to regain your attention. 
You’d gripped your black cloak tighter in your hands. Nononono don’t say it don’t—
“I'm in.. I… love…her.” you’d barely whispered. 
She choked out a small what. 
You’d squeezed your eyes shut as more tears escaped at a pace you couldn’t control. 
“I… Lov..e,” you whimpered out, your voice cracking. You could barely breathe. 
Your sister's eyes had widened in acknowledgement before her expression fell, and it made you sob harder. 
Your sister had fallen silent after your very shaky and gay admission that night. 
She brought herself down from the initial shock before she coaxed you through your breathing exercises. Once she noticed that you had finally calmed down, she gently took your hand in hers and led you towards her private bathroom. She watched you jump onto the sink as she turned the water on before she quickly retreated to her room to grab herself and you some pajamas and wash clothes from her dresser. 
When she returned, she handed you your usual oversized t-shirt, which you stood to change into, before she put your washcloth under the cool stream of water and patted your still burning face. She noticed you’d been closely watching her expression with the hopes of finding anything in her eyes, but she remained stoic and moved on autopilot. 
She’d quickly changed clothes, washed her face, and put her bonnet on before walking you both back into her bedroom and to her bed. She went to her usual side before getting under her cotton sheets, tucking herself in with her back turned to you. 
She’d felt you ease into the bed before you shuffled closer whispering a gentle and terrified do you hate me? in which she simply shook her head no against her pillow. 
She felt you wrap your smaller arms around her frame as you held her close, and she finally allowed the tears she’d held back to overflow. She prayed you hadn’t noticed. 
She’d felt you squeeze tighter. 
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Your birthday was still. 
Even though your friends had gone all out for your special day, —they baked you red velvet cupcakes and brought balloons to your first period classroom, much to your teacher’s dismay— you faked your excitement and enthusiasm even though you appreciated their grand gesture. 
When you’d finally gained the courage to invite them over to tell them what happened on that traumatic night, they’d been nothing but supportive and comforting. Starr even hollered out a fuck ellie! into your shoulder for extra emphasis as she hugged you, in which you sadly, but jokingly replied not too much. 
Your sister had been driving you to school that week due to your mother’s new work duties—bless her heart— and every time she caught your eyes in the rearview mirror, she quickly dropped them, staring back at the road blankly. She’d mumbled out a see you at three as she parked on the curb of your campus, which you sadly nodded at before you got out of the car with your violin case in hand. 
She never used to drop you off without an i love you! and be safe! 
You’d ruined everything. 
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Ellie was a wreck. 
She couldn’t gather the strength to contact your sister, you, or even your mother for over a month and her self-inflicted negligence had her experiencing a loss that she hadn’t felt since her fucking mom died. A vacancy. An emptiness. 
After you fled from the patio that night, she instinctively moved to chase after you with a shout of your name before her girlfriend released a shriek of are you seriously fucking leaving right now, el, what the fuck?! and her tone made her halt. Her breathing had been heavy, but she was practically hyperventilating now, picking hard at her scarred cuticles as hot tears filled her eyes, and she immediately regretted throwing this fucking party. Fuck Halloween and fuck Jason fuck everything—
She’d memorized that tone from the countless arguments she had with her girlfriend— her mom—about choice. Specifically, the ones that she made. 
You either stay here with me, or you go live with your fucking dad and never see me again! It’s up to you! 
She knew that she had to choose between you: someone who treated her so gently, looked at her like she hung the stars in the sky, saw her in her purest form. And someone she accidentally fell in love with. Someone who tended to her wounds. Someone who provided a good distraction from the chaotic world that surrounded her. 
And at that moment, she decided that person wasn’t you. 
She exhaled deeply before turning, defeatedly walked back to her girlfriend in resignation. She’d fallen back into the arms that pulled her out of her own darkness. Dina (who’d been desperately calling your sister since you two left), Jesse, and the rest of her friends had nearly torn the back door off the hinges at how hard they pulled it open, loudly asking what the fuck was going on with you. Cat had hissed something at them all, but Ellie couldn’t hear anything over the loud pounding in her ears. She needed to lay down. 
She’d slowly lifted her head up from her girlfriend’s shoulder and turned, accidentally meeting Dina’s eyes. 
They were always so comforting. So gentle. 
They made her think of your sister. Of you. 
And now here she was. Sat on the edge of her girlfriend's bed with her customized electric and embroidered pic in hand. Almost two months later, and she’d made no effort to contact either of you. Your sister was loyal, and she was almost positive you hated her, so she didn’t push either of you to do anything. 
But even then, she couldn’t get the crushing look of heartbreak in your eyes out of her mind. It ate at her. 
There was no way in hell you had a crush on her. 
Right? Right? 
She was pulled from her thoughts by hands on her back, slowly sliding up her shoulders, soft and caressing, light kisses being pressed onto her neck. She shivered. 
Cat had invited her to her parents’ vacation loft in Los Angeles for a week so that she could get a feel of the fast-paced lifestyle that only existed in the city. Her dad had feared letting her go to another state alone, but she was able to convince him with a surprise charcuterie board brunch for the two of them. 
Joel had always been a wine mom.
She’d desperately needed a change of scenery after everything erupted, and her girlfriend wanted nothing more than to give her that. She had been having an enjoyable time, much to her surprise, throwing herself into any creative escape she could—playing guitar, going to karaoke with Cat and her drunk friends, painting, even producing (something that she fell in love with a year ago)—but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d been missing something. 
She placed her pic and guitar on the mattress before turning her head to connect her lips with Cat as she wrapped her smaller hand around her throat to hold her still. Heat swirled in her belly as she whimpered, her girlfriend pushing her tongue past her lips to slide onto hers. Her girlfriend gently pushed her onto her back before swinging her left leg over to straddle her, reconnecting their lips in a heated kiss. Ellie grinded her hips up to meet Cat while she pushed down to meet hers, both girls letting out wanton moans into each other's mouths. 
Cat tore at Ellie’s clothes and sensually kissed her way down her body until her head was between her trembling legs as she drew moan after whine after pant from the flushed, freckled girl’s mouth. She felt nothing but a hot, building feeling in the pit of her stomach before her peak slammed into her as her eyes rolled back and body trembled while she gripped the black sheets. 
She came down from her euphoria as her girlfriend pressed gentle kisses all over her chest and face while she hit her girl’s nic that’d been discarded on the nightstand, exhaling the smoke. 
Ellie was supposed to feel completely elated: this was all she’d ever wanted. All her little heart had dreamed of. But she couldn’t rid herself of the guilt festering in her stomach like roaches. 
A strong, drowning guilt. 
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March came along, and you were slowly regaining your footing. 
To say that these cold months were hard would be a grave understatement. You’d been having trouble eating and sleeping. Even if you did get an increment of shut eye, when you’d awoken, you wished you hadn’t as you gazed at the frost that had coated your bedroom window. Your violin case had been collecting dust in the corner of your room and you couldn’t even bring yourself to care. 
Arya had become so concerned that she almost told your mother about your behavior before you pleadingly begged her not to. She reluctantly fell back, but she, as well as Kris and Starr, kept a close eye on you afterwards. 
The only upside to your winter was that your sister began speaking to you again in January. Gentle how are you’s turned into i’m sorrys that turned into tear-riddled i love you so muchs, not knowing that you’d been praying that she would forgive you and your wrongs. 
After the rough patch with your sister was stitched up, you began to manically memorize all six of Niccolò Paganini’s concertos, declining all your friend’s invites to hang out. 
If your brain wanted to be your arch nemesis, fine, but you were at least going to try to fight back with the shrilling notes of Adagio. 
One late night, your practicing had gotten so intense that your mother barged into your room practically begging you to lay the fuck down and go to sleep, with which you stubbornly replied sleep is for the weak! before starting the entire first concerto from the beginning… for the seventh time. You watched her shake her head before gently shutting the door. I turned my baby into a monster, she’d thought on the walk back to her bedroom. 
You put your small remainder of energy into your math homework, into cleaning, into violin, hell, you’d even asked your sister if she could dig up her rusted, pink recorder from her multitude of stuffed boxes in her closet so you could learn and practice, which threw her for a whim. She said hell the fuck no. 
Although you'd looked like you'd been hit by thirty oncoming buses for the entire month of February, your musical perception had been the best it's ever been. Every time you shut your eyes, your surroundings melted into the black and white lines from your sheet music, symphonic melodies drowning out the white noise in your head. 
This was real joy; this was real love! —
“Bro, what the fuck are you smiling at? Kris was just telling us about how her cat predicted her grandma's death.” 
You were quickly pulled from your colorful fantasy by Arya’s voice, crashing back down to your friends who were sitting at the small lunch table with you. They’d been looking at you like you lost your mind. 
“OH, uh, I was just, um… thinking about this joke my sister told me this morning! It’s been on my mind all day,” you said with a sheepish laugh. 
“Mhmm. What was the joke.” Starr said with a blank stare. 
Dammit, uh! —
“Girl, we all know you’ve been going through it lately, but you’re going to have to get over this shit at some point,” Kris said, gently placing her hand on yours. “What you’re doing isn’t… healthy.” 
You were immediately in defense-mode, straightening your back before your eyes hardened at your friend, snatching your hand back from underneath your friend's manicured hand, making her flinch. 
“I thought I told y’all not to give me pity anymore, I’m fine, I’ve been fine this whole time actually,” you said, annoyed, “I just got distracted, it’s not that serious.” 
“Calm the hell down,” Arya, just as irritated, cut in. “We’re not giving you a fucking pity party, we’re concerned, as we should be. You’ve been rippin’ and runnin’ since fucking New Years, sorry for actually caring about your well-being.” 
Her scolding immediately made you remorseful as the angry crease in your eyebrows relaxed, your eyes softening. 
Your eyes met Kris's even softer ones, reaching out for her hand that was left on the table, “‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to throw that… on you like that,” you said, embarrassed at your behavior. 
“I’m… I’m sorry.” 
Starr, who was seated next to you, threw her arm over your shoulder to pull you closer before planting a wet smooch on your forehead. 
“Don’t apologize, you fuckin’ asshole,” she said with a cheesy grin. “Just stop going off on the people that wanna see you happy. We want what’s best for you because you deserve it. End of story.” 
“You bitches are so corny, I swear to god.” Arya said with a fat eye roll, before getting up to lean over the table to kiss your cheek. 
You loved them so bad, holy shit. 
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When you were at school, your sister received a phone call from Ellie. 
She had been seated on the living room couch, munching on microwavable Kraft mac ‘n cheese while rewatching the seventh season of Bad Girls Club before her phone started vibrating on the table. 
She almost declined it, but something in the back of her mind told her to swallow her pride and hear her out. Even if she was only given five minutes. 
She put down her cup of mac, picked up her phone, and clicked the green button at the bottom of the screen before bringing it up to her ear. 
It was silent for some seconds before a raspy voice that she missed so dearly rang through her head. 
“Umm… hey. Are you busy right now?” 
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Your sister pulled into the mall complex that was ten minutes away from your house on Ellie’s orders of yeah i’ll be by the old Chik-Fil-A building just lmk when ur here and i’ll come 2 u. At first, she was skeptical that Ellie and her weird ass girlfriend were planning to jump her, but after Ellie explained that she worked full-time at the record shop in the complex and that she would be on break, she accepted. 
She pulled into a parking spot before reaching for her phone and sending her a here, to which she replied with a comin. 
She got out of her car before locking it, walking up and onto the sidewalk of the complex. She turned around at the call of her name, finally making eye contact with the girl that she would’ve never expected to fall out with. 
She still looked cute, though. Good for her. 
“…hey.” Ellie said 
“What’s up.” your sister replied stoically. 
“Nothin��, trying to make money,” she said with a soft laugh before gesturing behind your sibling to the mall bench. “We can sit if you wanna.” 
“I’m good.” 
She took a deep breath at the tone of her voice before softly replying “Okay… umm... how’ve you been doing?” 
Your sister was starting to get aggravated with her friend’s…? Foe? She didn’t even know anymore… this girl’s attempt at small talk, so she cut it short. 
“Ellie, why'd you call me out here.” 
The girl paused, taken aback, “Are you really going to act like that right now?” 
“Don’t try to question me right now! Where the fuck have you been?!”
“I should be asking you the same shit! You didn’t care enough to reach out to me either!” She said, voice raising with hers. Regular mallgoers were starting to look at the two of them crazy, but neither of them cared. 
“Why the fuck would I reach out to you when all this shit is your fault! And before you try to fuckin’ lie, my sister told me everything!” 
“Oh yeah? She told you everything? What the fuck did she say, then?” 
“How you called her a little fuckin’ kid in front of your bitch ass girlfriend! —“ 
“Watch your fucking mouth!” 
“FUCK YOU AND HER!” your sister screamed out, waving her arms around. Poor little Jimmy in the Spider-man onesie that was glued to his mom. 
“THEN FUCK YOU TOO! I knew talking to your stubborn ass would be fucking pointless anyway!” 
“I’m sure she’s gonna have a fuckin’ field day when she hears about how you’re acting right now,” your sister said with a scoff, referencing you. 
“Fuckin’ tell her! Tell her how bad of a person I am, maybe it’ll fucking slap some sense into her,” she said viciously. Your sister dropped her purse and attempted to pounce on her best friend, before the mall security pulled up in a worn golf cart with a gruff hey! what’s the big idea?! 
Both girls had been breathing heavily, faces inches away from each other, before your sister let out a harsh, shaky sigh, picking up her purse from the mall bench. 
“You know she told me she was in love with you?” your sister said shakily. Ellie froze, eyes slightly softening, before she tensed up again, releasing a scoff. 
“Oh my fucking god, you gotta be kidding me,” she said as she rubbed her hands down her face in exasperation. Both girls stood in silence before Ellie snapped. 
“How many times do I have to say that it doesn’t… fucking matter. You’re both mad at me for calling her a fucking kid when she is a fucking kid! You really thought we would fucking… ride off into the sunset and be together, are you fucking serious?” 
“Nobody’s saying that! —“ 
“I'm gonna have to escort you two off the premises if you don’t cut it out right now— “ 
“Don’t fucking bother, we’re done talking,” Ellie spat nastily. “Go the fuck home.” 
The freckled girl quickly turned away and angrily stomped down the sidewalk and back into her work building. 
Your sister stood there stunned, eyes sweltering, before the—fucking annoying— mall cop addressed her, “Ma’am, do you need me to call someone to come get you”—
“No.” she gritted out harshly before walking back to her car just as pissed. 
The minute she slammed her car door shut, she broke. 
She sobbed and sobbed hard, hitting her steering wheel since she couldn't get her hands on the person she wanted, making her horn accidentally honk! which scared the fuck out of this old lady walking with her grocery bags. 
Your sister didn’t care. All she could do was sit there and pray that her ex-best friend would run up to her car, tear the door open, and hold her close like she used to when she was upset. 
But Ellie never came, and it made your sister wail harder. 
She'd lost one of the most important people in her life, and there was nothing she could do about it now. 
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After your sister regained control of her trembling hands, she pulled out of her parking spot and sped home. 
You’d texted her earlier that one of your friends would drop you off because you were all getting ice cream, and she’d never been more grateful for someone having a car. 
She pulled into the driveway and just sat there, thinking. 
How the fuck did we get here, she thought. She wanted to light one up so fucking badly, but she would have to use her lighter that she left in her car for ‘emergencies’, as she called them. 
She took a deep breath before opening her car door and walking onto the porch, unlocking the front door and going inside. Of course the universe, once again, had to prove its hatred for her: one of the first pictures on the glass decorative table had been one of her, all her friends, and you at her thirteenth birthday, her and Ellie in the middle hugging each other as hard as their small frames would allow. 
It was silent. 
Nobody was home.
And she allowed herself to break down with her back pressed against the front door. 
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You had a surprisingly good day! 
Despite the small hiccup with your friends at the lunch table, you all committed to your usual after-school routine: eating your weight in Ben and Jerry’s! Of course, all three of you ended up jumping on Kris for wasting six dollars on a pint of vanilla ice cream, to which she defended the ‘most versatile and rich flavor! cry about it!’
After Arya dropped you off with a catcall and a scream of see ya tomorrow, sexy! you, with hands full of half-empty pints of Cherry Sangria, walked inside to find your sister laid out on the couch in a fetal position with a throw blanket over her, snoring gently. Her poor back! 
You kicked your shoes off before jogging to the kitchen to put the pints into the freezer and head right back to the couch, gently coaxing your sister awake. 
However, the more you looked at her face, the more you saw the distress, the dried tears, the photograph from her thirteenth clutched in her arms. You immediately began to worry when she stayed asleep. 
You called out her name a little louder before she jolted awake, and as soon as she saw the concerned look on your face, she broke again. You barely had a chance to react before she sat up to throw her arms around you, sobbing into your neck. Your sister may have gotten emotional in front of you occasionally, but it was never like this. She could barely talk, and it scared you. 
“What happened? Where's Ellie? Is she okay?” you asked frantically. 
“S…she… I think she hates me now.” she barely whimpered out. 
“Okay, just try to breathe, tell me what happened,” you said as calmly as you could, even though your heart was racing in your chest. 
And she told you everything. 
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You had never been angrier in your life. 
Your feelings were definitely hurt after your sister spilled the gory details of today, and you were sad after listening about what your sister had to endure alone, but you were so, so fucking heated. 
After getting your sister tucked into bed, you immediately ran back downstairs the minute you heard her snore to put your shoes on and stomp down the road to the dreaded house. Ellie could be mad all she wanted, but making your sister cry was enough to make you see red. 
The walk had been short and frantic and the second you reached the Miller porch; you banged on the door with all you had. Sorry, Joel. 
Much to your… you didn’t even know what you felt when you saw Ellie (she had on sleep shorts and her strong arms and tattoo were exposed and oh god, stay fucking focused) open the door, but she immediately started pressing you about your disturbance. 
“Dude what the fuck. Why are you knocking like you're a fucking cop?!” 
“Where’s your dad?” 
“…sleeping, why?” 
“Get the hell out here! Right now, c’mon!” you said as aggressively as you muster. You didn't want to walk that sweet man up with your fussing.
Ellie was obviously shocked at your tone, but she came onto the porch anyway with a steady glare in her eyes. You held your own. 
“Why did you yell at my sister today? Have you… fried all your fucking braincells or something? —
“First of fucking all, she yelled at me first, so don’t try it! Don’t try to act like you're so innocent and holier than thou either, this is just as much your fault as everyone else’s!” 
“How is this my fault?!” 
“Ask your sister! Or did she leave the ‘how obsessed you are with me’ part out?” 
Pull it together, hold it hold it— You took a shuddering, but deep, breath. 
“I’m not obsessed with you Ellie! Do you think I wanted any of this to happen, I couldn't help how I felt! It doesn’t excuse the fact that you took it out on her when all she ever did was care about you!” 
She scoffed before running an agitated palm down her face before she dropped an unexpected bomb on you. 
“I’m moving to Cali next month.” 
And your mouth and throat never felt so dry. 
“Don’t act like you care now. All you two wanted to do was blame me. It’s all my fault, right?” she pressed. You’d never felt so cornered. “Right?!” she repeated louder, making you flinch. 
“Don’t fucking worry, neither of you have to see me again after this.” 
“E…Ellie— “
“Fuck both of you honestly,” she said, and that was the final nail in your coffin. You could be buried right here if you wanted. Right at her feet where she crushed your heart. 
She bumped your shoulder before going back inside, slamming the front door shut so hard, wind blew past you. You hated how you cried harder at the familiar, formerly comforting scent of pine. 
You gasped out a breath… and gasped again and againandagain—
You couldn’t breathe or see, and your hand was grasping at your chest with the attempts of getting your heart to stop completely. You bent over to try to regain your breath, but it didn’t work, everything you learned was failing. 
You stumbled off the cursed porch and teetered back onto the sidewalk but oh god you couldn’t think—
An all too familiar voice gasped your name, making you cry and gasp harder. 
Dina. You heard her run up to you before putting a gentle hand on your back to help you straighten. 
“Oh my god, shhhhh, c’mon honey, let’s get you back home okay?” she sounded so worried, and you felt a wave of guilt wash over you. Why do you keep doing this to people you care about? 
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Two weeks had passed since that night. 
After Dina brought you back to your home, taking the key from your pocket and unlocking the door, your sister and her made eye contact for the first time in months. 
Your sister had awoken to get some water to soothe her dry throat, grabbing her filled glass to sit on the couch and scroll through Twitter. 
She almost shat herself when the front doorknob started jiggling. She damn near shattered her filled glass on the coffee table in front of her, slamming it down to stand and grab the metal baseball bat that your mother always had near the front door. 
She hadn't moved fast enough, though, because the door shot open, revealing a pajama-clad Dina, guiding a panic-ridden you into the house. 
Your sister was shocked at first, but the second she saw your tear-soaked face gasping for air, she instantly went into protective mode, rushing over to help you with your breathing exercises. Dina hadn’t moved to speak, but she wasn’t leaving, either: she wanted to ensure that you came down safely. 
Neither Ellie, nor your sister, had told any of their friends about their turmoil, but they sensed something was off when they hadn’t seen the two of them in the same room together in a while. They never pressed out of respect for both girls, but to say that it hadn’t bothered them was simply untrue. 
Once you came down, your sister mumbled a quiet thank you, to Dina, to which she replied with a gentle of course, honey, thick brows pulled down in concern, her own eyes glossy. Your sister walked her out with a grateful nod after taking you to your room to lay down. 
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This was the numbest you’d ever felt in your life. You hadn’t even cried since that night. You just…sat and looked. Looked and sat. 
You had been spending the first few days of your Spring Break in your room with headphones in your ears, Rondo ringing in your ears. Niccolò, you sly dog. Your friends asked you if you wanted to go camping with them and their families, but you politely declined. You couldn’t fathom moving or talking or breathing. So you sat. 
You had made some tough decisions, though. You were somewhat proud of yourself.
You, as well as your sister and then your mom (your sister hacked her Facebook, she didn’t notice), had blocked Ellie on everything.
No more grungy Instagram posts on your feeds, no more hotbox Snapchat stories, no more guitar-playing videos from IMessage. No more Ellie to plague your mind anymore. 
You were so numb. 
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During early April, you and your sister drove by a U-Haul truck parked in front of the Miller residence after she picked you up from your violin lesson. Joel, Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Cat were all outside on the lawn, goofing off as they carried boxes from the house and into the semi-loaded truck. You and your sister kept your gazes forward, eyes burning holes in the pavement under her car wheels. 
Although neither of you said it, Ellie hugging Joel while he lifted her off the sidewalk was the last memory you and your sister had of her. 
You were so, so numb. 
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A/N: yall ab to be like omg noooo don’t do thiss😦😦 girl i did it🤭🤭 
praying i proofread enough please god like
but uhhhh yeah it might take a minute for the next part so pls be patient w me😗 but i’ve also been writing pretty quick so we’ll see ig but yeah writing sad shit 24/7 is hard but i love it so who cares :O anyway we’re about to get into the real tea next chap esp. w ellie :O i already started the outline and it’s already looking crazy just a warning😳 okay bye love uuuuu if you read this
pt. 3 here :D
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lovebvni · 6 months ago
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holaaa!! (dr rant + just an appreciation post)
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(TW SLIGHT HINT TO GROOMING)
soo i’m shifting soon and i decided that im going to make my first album when i get there (LIKE START JT, DUDE. START IT. IM SO EXCITED) there’s going to b an ep i’m going to finalize when i get there and it will be released on the 26th of the month i get there (as it is kinda a diss on a MAN who was 26 when we dated… i was a minor still.)
i’m also gonna make a family tree because i’m really bored (and i also kinda js wanna see all my siblings yk? im gonna draw them all soon bc like AUGH AJAJDKDJ I MISS THEM!!!)
omgz i’m so excited dude!!
(appreciation below!!)
also i saw billie eilish in my dream last night. one of the funniest and sweetest people i know 😭 SHARK WAS ALSO IN THAT DREAM HES SO SWEET ‼️‼️ god i wish i could hug them today, just right now. yall don’t understand how much billie and finneas have been through together, and im so proud of how far they made it. i love you both, and although you won’t see this post in this reality, i know you will when we r together :DDD u guys make me so happy, so inspired, and just a better person overall. also huge thank you to billie in helping me with directing my music videos and being featured in one of my favorite songs — ripple effect. thank you finneas for just 😭 for keeping her alive, giving her a passion, and being so protective and supportive of her.
i’m so excited to b friends w both of them n js talk to them daily — it’s so fun.
i’m also super duper excited to meet one of my closest friends — nile — in person finally!!!! it’s been like 3 years of shifting together, and i know she’s excited too. i know she’s reading this, btw so i love u sm nile and thank u for being such a great and perfect friend throughout this whole journey. i truly don’t think i would still be kicking without you. i owe you the world, and i know you’re going to be blessed with many MANY things in the coming months, and the years following will be some of your best, but that’s only a taste of what is truly to come.
i’m so proud of you, and i’m also so round of everyone that has been clinging onto shifting even though it hurts. i’m always here for you. i love you all so so much. i want the best for you, and i know you’re going to get it. i’m always here to help in ANY way i can. ask me anything, i promise you i will answer with the wisdom God and the universe has given me!!
i cannot express my gratitude to my father, loki, enough. i don’t know how to even put it into words. he’s been there at my hardest, he’s been there at my best. i don’t think i would actually even be this far without him either. he’s one of the silliest and sweetest people ive ever met. i can’t believe he’s my FATHER you guys!! ITS SO COOL AUGHH
i also have so many people here i need to thank, there’s more that i can think of right now but just know i love and appreciate every one of you guys.
staring with @smellofemale!! you were such a sign when i met you. i don’t think i’ve met a christian shifter — you’re the only one i still talk to if i have! im just so so sooo blessed to have met you. i don’t know what to say, dude! i love you so much. you’re so sweet, so kind, and so inspiring. i love you!
@eneablack although you’re one of my newest friends, you’re another really really inspirational one. you’re so open about your struggles with shifting, even though you’ve had success time and time again. it shows me and many others how shifting sometimes is a hard thing to get used too, even with successes under your belt!
@daisys-reality! if you don’t know them, FOLLOW IMMEDIATELY PLEASE OMGGJAJSN she gives some of the best and most accurate readings i could ever ask for. also her drs (specifically her mermaid one) have inspired me so much!!
@kanachaka UR AO COOL BRO I JS LOVE SEEING UR POSTS AJSJDKDJD
@kazylynn i love u sm!! u rlly show me i can be an inspiration to others, and that’s something i’ve hoped for all my life. i want to be a good, helpful person — and i love you for showing me i can be.
@babybearthepsychic a few months ago you gave me a free reading that was just so accurate and so real. i don’t know if i would still be on this spiritual journey without it, because i was at one of my hardest points then. i cannot believe how just truly accurate and kind you are. i love you so much, you’re doing amazing. i wish i could give you the biggest hug, and i could donate like a million dollars to u rn but i literally don’t have a job 😭
@zipperrants i don’t think i rlly need to explain this… dude i thought u we’re so cool even when u we’re js interacting with @maddies-chronicles and i rlly wanted to interact w u so bad but i was so so scared bro!! and thank u hale for giving me the opportunity to meet them!!
@accidentalshifter YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MANY PEOPLE U REPRESENT IN THIS RESLITY — YOURE ONE OF THE FIRSR ADULT SHIFTERS I SAW ON HERR AND IM SO SO SO SO SOOO FUCKING HQPPY YOURE SO OPEN ABOUT IT! you’re just so free and it’s beautiful. i love you so much
and there are so many more but i just.. im gonna cry i love you all tooo much.. please know u all mean so much to me and i can’t wait to tell u so many stories when i get back, and help u guys shift. i am working so hard to post more, and i pray this post can help me become more active.
so so so much love, to everyone in this community, you’re so wonderful. may the gods bless you.
so much love, peace and joy
the abyss
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senbbonzakura · 7 months ago
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maymay!!! i’m back 🎀
could you do the m3 with a grunge reader, what i’m trying to say is, like yk she wears baggy jeans, ripped up old band shirts, has nirvana, radiohead, deftones posters all over her wall, that kinda grunge 🙏🙏
OMG YESSS im grunge myself so i get it!! also i love ur music taste already based on the 3 bands u named
⋆ MAIN 3 WITH A GRUNGE READER :
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✩ — STAN !
i headcannon him as grunge too, so...
calls u a loser even tho hes one himself
"omg u listen to nirvana?? whats ur fav song??"
he would get offended if u chose one of the most popular ones
will be like "oh!..😐"
u two share clothes
"dude this tee is so fire"
"u can have it ONLY for one day"
ends up never giving it back
so u never give his clothes back too
i imagine losers and i see converse
you two DEFINITELY get matching lyrics on ur shoes
he feels so lucky to have another loser around
he always puts some music on when u come over and u never complain bc u have the same music taste
"that song HITS, whats it called"
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✩ — KYLE !
he kinda doesnt care ig
like, you do you
one time u were like
"LETS MAKE YOU GRUNGE TOO"
"no."
you had to nag him about it until he finally agreed
had to lend some clothes from stan..
stan had to be there too
WHY DOES KYLE ACTUALLY END UP LOOKING FIRE AF??? DO U SEE THE VISION LIKE I SEE IT??
"can we get this off now pls"
"WAIT I NEED TO MAKE A PHOTO"
all of you end up taking a super duper photo
u post it on ur insta story
kyle is like "DELETE DELETR DELETE"
"omg if my mom sees this😕..."
thinks he looks homeless
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✩ — KENNY !
thinks ur hot af.
idk whats that style called but i kinda imagine kenny in baggy jeans and like those wife beaters??
sometimes just tees if hes feelin lazy
yall the best combo world has ever seen
he literally worships u tbh
helps u pick ur outfit for the day
and u pick his too🤗🤗
genuinely thinks ur room is so cool
loves spending time with u in ur loser room
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i wanna draw all of them now bye
requests r open !!
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ilovebeatingmywife · 4 months ago
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FAVORITE ARTISTS ON TUMBLR APPRECIATION POST:
(these arent ranked in order, thatd be mean lmao)
@kanrix - i think yall know i love him. BIGGEST inspiration for my fanart account (@moralorelbrainrot) and his art is just SO FUCKING GOOOODDDDD. it actually fills me with joy and i cant get over it. when i have a horrible day i look through his account for the 100th time. anyways, hes like a celebrity to me and i love him so much and his art is like the best ive ever seen
@frijolebean - CHECK THEM OUTTTT I LOVE BATJOKES THEY R SO AWESOME. ughhh their art makes me literally jump for joy. love love. lvoe dlskekmes so good
@marnorourastar - AAAA SO GOOD its such like a cool art style and its like..soft? IDK BUT I LOVE IT AKAAKKSKKALSOKAA AND IM SO HAPPY WE INTERACT AND STUFF BECAUSE I LOVE UR ART
@dshksh - UR ART IS SO COOL AND THE ART STYLE IS CHEFS KISS mmdskksnfoamdkfnf I LOVE IT AND EVEN THO I DON'T LIKE CENSORDOLL UR DRAWINGS MAKE ME LOVE HER SOMETIMES
@sneakupandhitya - ok i know u don't post art all the time but when you do OH MY GODDDDD IS IT SO GOOD??? I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LOVE IT AAAAAAAAAA (also marc is super awesome too)
@lipgloss3ater - UR ART STYLE IS SO COOL IT FILLS ME W JOY I LOVE IT OMGOSH AND ITS SO AWESOME UR SO TALENTED aamakskdkfmf I WANT TO EAT IT
@smibberz - UR SO GOOD AT THE SIMPSONS ART STYLE AND U ARE AMAZINF AT DRAWING I LOVE IT SO MUCH AAKALSODLFK
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lowkeyrobin · 9 months ago
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Hii, can you write some dating headcanons of Stevie? Nobody writes about him 😭
hello, and yes! ik on my masterlist/characters I write for I have it as platonic only but most of these could be read as platonic if you're older, I kept the more romantic ones at the bottom if that's cool so yeah 👍 I kept him & ruben as such bx I'm a little too old for them and I see them as like babies compared to me so yeah 💀 but I got you dw lol
STEVIE ; dating/platonic headcanons
warnings ; language, talk of familial abuse & neglect, alcohol, substances, use of f-slur (I can say it guys PLEASE)
masterlist
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protecting him on the streets is a must
he's newer to this skating shit and "running around with thugs"
if he can't go home for whatever reason, he's got a home at your place or on the couch at motorz
ray locks you guys in and you're good for the night, he just can't give you the keys cause he doesn't wanna get fired
he vents to you whenever he needs to
at a point he gets all "wannabe hard boy" and shoves you away while he becomes a fucking hard-core alcoholic
"Dude, what the fuck did I do to deserve being shoved away?"
"Go away! Don't you ever fucking listen? Shut the fuck up! You're just like my mom!"
damn okay moody ass bitch
you stay up at night thinking about how you thought you were grateful for the whole 'fuckshit wrecking the car' thing because it changed both him, ruben, and fuckshit (and their relationships) for the better
for a while he forces you to just let him watch you skate and stuff because he's super unmotivated too and doesn't wanna spiral like before
but in time, he warms back up to it
he's the one borrowing your clothes tbh
the only thing you ever touch of his are hats that you steal to tease him
romantic stuff below!
you put stickers on his forehead 24/7
putting random braids in his hair for no reason in private
he's scared he'll be called a fag or smthn but yk he won't
he just has a touchy partner , it's normal lol
your relationship is purely wholesome, yall r like 13 so chill
nothing happened between him n estee either bc wtf was that scene jonah
you hand him a mixtape before you leave to go home titled "for stevie <3" and when I tell you he crumbled when he accepted that he was finally learning that he could trust you and let you in
like his family issues always had him fucked up but Ray was like "Dude that's not pussy shit??? they really like you, man"
he just sat there for a moment like "omg holy shit this isn't just some fake shit that'll last a month tops they actually give a shit"
he listens to it when he's skating alone and shit
always reminds to kiss from a rose or wonderwall
he learns a lot from you and takes it to heart, like he learns to just be a normal, functioning person in society and how to behave and act and shit
like he hasn't had anyone to rlly be there to correct his mistakes or beat his ass til you LMAO
like he learns actual life skills and shit from you like how to write checks and and how long to boil noodles it's honestly sad
mostly the hug-you-from-behind kinda guy bc he's still learning how to show his love and shit
gives you puppy dog eyes without even knowing it
he's just so mesmerized by you sometimes
idk this is all I got
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the-record · 1 year ago
Text
mine…
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・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・
synopsis: abby’s new to town and you just have to show her around…
pairing: college!abby x reader
warnings: none me thinks
a/n: hi so another smau type bc yall LOVED the last one. im sorry ab not finishing the series, tumblr isn’t the best to write on its been majorly glitchy for me and it would’ve taken me 20 hours to write those
my masterlist
・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・
you were in college, working part time waiting tables left a small town, never looked back i was a flight risk with a fear of falling wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts
“hi, im abby, ill be your server today, can i get you started with some drinks?”
you looked from your friend as your server arrived, seeing a tall blonde girl you’d yet to see here.
“hi, you’re new.” you smiled sweetly before answering. “ill just take a water,” she nodded before looking to ellie. she ordered a coke and abby left with a nod. “shes cute.”
“not my type.” you rolled your eyes at her, leaning back into the booth. “i know, im not stupid, you meant for you.”
you looked over to see if she was near, findinf her not to be, before turning back to ellie. “where do you think shes been hiding all this time, i’ve literally never seen her here before?”
“a water and a coke.” the drinks were placed on your table along with two straws. “are you ready, or would you like some time to look over the menu.”
you shook your head as you unwrapped your straw. “no, we’re all good.” you and ellie both ordered, but before abby left you stopped her. “wait, where are you from? you new?”
she nodded, stepping into a more comfortable position infront of your table. “yea, actually, just moved last week. im from jackson, small town about an hour from here.” you hummed.
“interesting, so you’re here for college then?” ellie kicked you and you scoffed, shaking your head at her. “just trying to get to know the pretty lady a bit, chill.” abby blushed and you smiled. “so, college?”
“yea, closest college, didnt wanna go too far from home.”
“cute. okay, ill leave you be now, nice to meet you though abby, welcome!”
you left your name and number on a napkin.
・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・
abby: hey, this angel?
angel: sure is babe
abby: hey it’s abby
angel: well hi! was kinda nervous you didnt see the napkin lmao
abby: i was kinda nervous to text you
angel: you’re cute.
angel: anyways i did have a reason for leaving my info
abby: really? i thought u must just give it out to all strangers.
angel: hardy har. good one.
angel: ANYWAYS
angel: wanna go out sometime? i know this super cute restaurant
abby: yea sure why not
angel: cool, ill send you the address. friday at 7 work?
abby: perfect.
ill say “can you believe it?” as we’re lying on the couch the moment i can see it yes, yes i can see it now
yourinstagram
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yourinstagram first date, kinda nervy shes a serial killer
tagged: a_anderson
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a_anderson only u could take this pic and make me seem crazy
↳ yourinstagram its my specialty
dina_nolastname oh u found one that ties shoes? look at you go
↳ elliewilliams i tie ur shoes all the time okay
elliewilliams cute ig
jessesucks ill tie ur shoes for u
↳ yourinstagram please dont. you wear velcro shoes
do you remember we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing that’s ever been mine
a_anderson
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a_anderson @ the random passerby who took this and airdropped it to me, ill name my firstborn after u
tagged: yourinstagram
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yourinstagram we r so cute 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
↳ a_anderson wanna makeout?
mannynotnanny i h8 u
↳ a_anderson manny cannot spell: ✅
owenmoore69 been there 2 weeks and already moved on
jerry_anderson So happy for you Abs. Miss you! ❤️❤️❤️
↳ a_anderson miss you more dad 🤍
elliewilliams gag.
↳ a_anderson go away.
↳ yourinstagram yea, go away.
flash forward and we’re taking on the world together and theres a drawer of my things at your place you learn my secrets, and you figure out why im guarded you say we’ll never make my parents mistakes
abby: i have no hoodies
abby: you have any idea why?
angel: …
abby: angellllllllllllll
angel: THEYRE SO COMFY THO
abby: so ill buy u some
angel: but theyre yours i dont want new ones i want YOURS
angel: please you cant take them
angel: they’re mine now
abby: babe i need one
angel: you have one tho
abby: okay but it doesn’t go with my outfit
abby: just the grey one for today and ill bring it home tn
angel: promise?
abby: promise.
angel: fine. bring me a slushy
abby: whatever you want babe
abby: omw.
but we got bills to pay we’ve got nothing figured out when it was hard to take yes, yes this is what i thought about
abby: come over
angel: i cant love
abby: fine, ill come over
angel: no i cant come over bc ive got work in 30
abby: nooooooooooo
abby: call out.
abby: please.
angel: i would but i have rent due this weekend and my car payment the next
abby: just move in with me
angel: mhm yes whatever you want love
abby: no, like im serious
abby: move in
angel: isnt that kinda stereotypical
abby: what moving in after 2 months?
angel: yea yk uhaul lesbians??
abby: and? move in
angel: okay i actually really want to but i still have work so i gotta get ready
angel: but ill come over after and we can talk ab this????
abby: yay! see you then, have a good shift, text me if u need me 🤍
do you remember we were sitting there by the water? you put your arm around me for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing that’s ever been mine do you remember all the city lights on the water? you saw me start to believe for the first time you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing thats ever been mine
yourinstagram
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yourinstagram best thing to ever be mine 🤍
tagged: a_anderson
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a_anderson come over i miss u
↳ yourinstagram i left an hour ago 😭
↳ a_anderson UR POINT?????
elliewilliams cringe.
dina_nolastname where r u
↳ yourinstagram cali… we got bored
↳ dina_nolastname GIRL
jessesucks y wasnt i invited??!?!
↳ yourinstagram bc ur u?
↳ dina_nolastname you’ll get em next time
↳ elliewilliams HA
and i remember that fight, 2:30 am as everything was slipping right out of our hands i ran out crying, and you followed me out into the street braced myself for the goodbye ‘cause its all ive ever known and you took me by surprise you said, “ill never leave you alone.”
“maybe i shouldnt move in,” you said, testing how far the both of you could go.
abby sighed, throwing her hands in the hair. “maybe you shouldnt!”
you watched the regret make into onto her face as your heart sunk. you headed out the door, grabbing your keys as you went. you almost made it to the car when you heard abby yelling your name.
“angel, please!” you turned to face her, just feet from your car. you heard thunder start as you waited for her to get closer to you. “im so sorry, please i dont mean it and you know it.”
“im never gonna leave you alone.”
you said, “i remember how we felt sitting by the water and every time i look at you, its like the first time i fell in love with a careless mans careful daughter she is the best thing thats ever been mine.”
a_anderson
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a_anderson officially all moved in 🏡
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername i made her vaccum
↳ a_anderson u didnt make me do anything
↳ yourusername hmmm
elliewilliams housewarming party when
↳ a_anderson never.
mannynotnanny happy for you abs
dina_nolastname MY BABY SHES SO HAPPY MWAH MWAH MWAH LOVE U ANGEL
jerry_anderson My girl is so grown up, love you Abs ❤️❤️❤️
↳ a_anderson love you too dad, miss you ❤️
hold on, make it last hold on, never turn back you made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing thats ever been mine
yourusername
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yourusername happy 1 year baby. i love you 🤍
tagged: a_anderson
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a_anderson so lucky to love you 🤍
dina_nolastname happy 1 year dorks, love u both sm im so happy for u ur perfect
jessesucks yall r so cute omg
jerry_anderson Abby picked a good one, love you Angel. Happy 1 year to you two! ❤️❤️❤️
↳ yourusername thank you jerry 🤍 love you too, we will be visiting soon promise
elliewilliams photocreds where?!?
↳ yourusername i hate you.
↳ a_anderson up my butt.
↳ elliewilliams ur so immature goodness.
do you believe it? we’re gonna make it now and i can see it i can see it now
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