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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years ago

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“Harry’s stylist, right?”

Summary: Harry and his personal stylist are great collaborators, on screen and off. She helps his visions come to life and in turn they’ve become close friends. As she helps him to bring his fashion dreams come to life during the Fine Line era, will some other dreams come to life as well?

Harry and his stylist go from colleagues to friends to lovers because they’ve been in love with each other from the jump

this fit is very important to this part lmaooo - I literally have no idea what to call this lol, anyway I've been sitting on this for forever and I wanted to get something out for yall and i love this story there will be a part 2 when i get to a writing mood. I love this story bc its my literal dream - anyway!! pls enjoy and reblog and lmk what you think :)

Word Count: 14k | Warnings: swearing, drinking, tame for now, should be smut eventually - aka slow burn (what else would you expect from me at this point i guess)

part 2

“Hey, H, I just had a question about one of the SNL outfits? Do you have a sec?”

Harry looked up from his phone and raised his brows at his stylist, Y/N.

Y/N had worked with Harry previously. In photoshoots for Another Man magazine and his most recent Gucci campaign. As well as some other random times, such as one-off award show looks and specific appearances. However, this past summer Harry had hired Y/N to work fulltime for him, exclusively. He had told her that he was planning on releasing his second album in the winter and he wanted someone there to help him plan his clothes for music videos, award season, interview appearances, as well as tour outfits.

Y/N stood just inside the doorway of the room, leaning her back against the wall, looking expectantly at him. Her eyes were wide and her lips were pursed. She was dressed simply in a white satin skirt and a matching cropped button-up, they both had cream flowers embroidered on, paired with horsebit slim Gucci mules. Her style was eclectic, but she had definitely noticed an increase of Gucci in her wardrobe since starting her employment with Harry.

Y/N’s passion in life was fashion and clothes and she constantly worried that one of Harry’s outfits wouldn’t deliver as much as she wanted it to. He was quick to tell her not to worry so much though, as long as they both were happy with it, how could anyone else not love it. Plus, he’d always add, it didn’t really matter what anyone else thought. But as more and more events began to crop up, Y/N’s worry over her work grew. She had only been the head stylist for Harry on projects that were still underwraps - except for Lights Up which had been released a couple weeks ago now.

The first project she ever worked on with Harry as his full-time personal stylist was the Lights Up music video. She had never worked so closely with one person for so long on just one project. Harry was insistent in vision and came in the first day filled with ideas, what he imagined for the video's concept and how he wanted to incorporate clothes. She had been happy to make his dreams become reality.

The two of them spent hours at his house for weeks, pouring over every detail of every outfit he planned to wear. They both wanted it to be perfect. And eventually, it all came together, exactly how they had planned. All of the garments for the video took up two entire garment racks. Y/N had made Harry pose in every single outfit for polaroids that she dated and then put into a lookbook she started for him. She had told him she planned to document every outfit she styled for him and Harry had been so excited. The outfits he wore in the video were received with praise when it was finally released, and Harry and Y/N were overjoyed. There was already a party for its release, but they both were especially happy that night. Throughout the evening, Harry and Y/N would gravitate to one another and fall into side conversations about the outfits and what people had been saying. Even if Harry said it didn’t matter, he and Y/N both knew, at the end of the day, they loved when people were happy with their work.

“Sure,” he bounced to his feet, but Y/N made a hand motion telling him that he could stay seated. He settled back down as she crossed over and sat beside him on his couch.

She was at his house in London today planning his next few appearances that were promotion for the upcoming album, Saturday Night Live was next. Harry had been taking a break from their work until she had come in.

It wasn’t unusual for Y/N to be at his house, they had been working together for months now. First, it had been for his outfits in his music videos that were filmed in late summer and early fall, like Lights up, but also a few other ones. Now, it was clothing for promo appearances, interviews, and listening parties. Next, it would be tour outfits, which she had already started planning, but officially, they hadn’t started discussions yet. Harry had helped her to get a flat closer to his house in London just for her to be able to head over and help with the planning or fitting of his outfits more easily. She also was constantly traveling with him to his appearances, making sure outfits were perfect right before whatever show it was or making last minute adjustments in case either of them decided something wasn’t right.

While Harry was a big guy, his waist was far trimmer than a usual man built to his size, this meant she had to take in a lot of his trousers at the waist. As well, with his shirts and coats, she’d have to take them in or out depending on how Harry wanted the fit to be - either perfectly tight or perfectly oversized. He was particular, but she appreciated his drive for fashion and how he cared for his appearance. Before performances, she often had to take things in or out based on any body fluctuation that had occurred since the initial fitting.

She was looking at her sketchpad that held all of her notes on his clothes - which was different from the lookbook of polaroids - including patches of the actual colors and little Harry figures dressed in what he was going to wear. Right now, she had the pad opened to a page titled “SNL Opener - November 16, 2019”.

“So I was thinking with your opening monologue outfit, it might look better to have a different colored blazer? A matching yellow would be great, but if you did more of a toned down - maybe light tan or beige - blazer with gold embellishments, you’d elevate it to look sophisticated and stylish, rather than just stylish. It’d be exactly like the runway look - which I know you sometimes don’t like, but I think it’s what looks best.”

She ran her finger between two swatches of what she thought would be the better blazer color and the one Harry had originally wanted. He wet his lips and gazed at the page as he thought about what she said. Normally, she liked monochrome on him, but she thought the deep blue underneath a completely yellow suit might wash him out on the stage.

“Yeah,” he pointed to the top beige swatch, “I think I do like this better.” He paused and turned his head to Y/N, looking in her eyes before asking, “Is that all?”

“Er...no,” Y/N ran a hand over her unstyled hair, slightly fluffed by her constant musing of it. She often fiddled with it while she worked, better than biting nails she always said when confronted about her tick. After a sigh Y/N continued, “I was just on the phone with Jane from Gucci and she said that for Look 57 they could only send your technical size, for some reason they can’t custom make it. Meaning, I’ll have to tailor the whole thing to you when it arrives. Is that alright? Or do you want to choose something else?”

She flipped to a page that said “SNL WS.” Harry followed her hands and nodded realizing she was talking about the Gucci suit he wanted to wear for Watermelon Sugar. It was a watermelon’s inside red. When he had found out the suit came in that color, he had danced around the dining table for what Y/N had felt like was an hour, humming the tune of Watermelon Sugar excitedly. Finally, she had coaxed him to sit back down and get back to their other work, which was still picking out clothes.

“No, that’s fine,” Harry shook his head and used his thumb to scratch under his lips absentmindedly, “It really needs to be that color.”

She nodded, she knew what his answer was going to be, but she also knew he still liked to make the final decision.

“Alright, we’ll just have to meet for longer when everything arrives, to tailor that one. Then the rest of them should just be making sure the fit is perfect.”

She rose up from her seat and patted Harry’s shoulder, leaving him to his thoughts, as she went back to finish up the calls with Jane and the designers.

He caught her hand in his before she completely walked away, “Thank you, Y/N.” He was so grateful he had hired someone who was as driven as he was and understood his fashion sense and wanted to help enhance what he was thinking, rather than someone trying to control him or just going along with whatever he said. Neither would be productive or helpful, thankfully Y/N loved her job and cared to do things right.

She grinned before exiting, “H, you’re going to be this century’s style icon if it’s the last thing I do.” He laughed as she walked out of the room, leaning back on the couch to continue his lurking on Instagram.

One week later

“I’m here, H! I come bearing Gucci and more!” Y/N said as she shuffled through Harry’s front door, she held a deconstructed rack and a garment bag filled with heavy suits and things. Inside were Harry’s four most important outfits for SNL, some other garments for SNL, and some clothes they had talked about for his upcoming listening sessions later in the month. Y/N needed to check the fit on all of them and begin tailoring the Watermelon Sugar suit. The key Harry had given to Y/N, previously, had let her in, but she assumed he was home. He said he’d be.

When Y/N rounded the corner she found another empty room. Confused, she set down her large items and went to search for Harry. Y/N literally needed him to be here for this part. It was the only real time she actually needed to see him in person - but that was beside the point.

“H?”

She wandered through the different rooms of his home. Normally, Y/N didn’t go into the other rooms, she was always mainly in his lounge area, the dining room, and a little casual office room he had - sometimes the kitchen for water, his bedroom once. Still not finding him, she decided to venture to the furthest door, Harry’s bedroom, she remembered.

Harry groaned at the sound of a knock on his door, he rolled over in his bed. After a few moments of hearing nothing else than his groan, Y/N felt like she had to go in and check on him.

“H, it’s 12:30 and we agreed we’d meet at noon. Are you feeling alright?”

Y/N moved into the room and found a shirtless Harry surrounded by rumpled sheets, clutching at a pillow. He groaned into his pillow again in response. Her legs bent at the edge of the bed and she reached out to smooth some of his chestnut hair out of his face, “What’s wrong?”

He moved his head to allow his eyes to look at her, “‘M so tired, don’t know why. My stomach kind of hurts too…” Y/N looked at him quizzically, before running her hand over his tan forehead once more, this time checking for a fever. “You don’t have a fever. When did you go to sleep? Have you eaten anything today?” With her help, Harry moved into a seated position, head tilted back against the bedpost. He sat silent for a moment before blowing air out of his mouth. “Went to sleep kind of late for me, I guess...Haven’t eaten.”

“Ok, you’re just tired from staying up late, you old man, and you might be a little dehydrated and hungry. Listen, I’ll go make you some food if you get up and prepare yourself for the day. We need to get all your clothes fitted so that I can fix anything before next week.” Y/N was always good at getting Harry back on track when he got distracted - or even out of the station, when he wasn’t in the mood to work on something. She slid from her perch on the bed and walked to almost the edge of the room before Harry called her back.

“Can you pick out my clothes for me?” His soft, tired voice whined. “So hard...and you’ve got the best eye. Pleaseeee,” he pleaded softly.

Rolling her eyes, Y/N sighed and made her way back into his room. Crossing to the door that led to his walk-in closet, she set to work. As silly as he was being, she could never pass up on a chance to pick out an outfit for Harry.

“You’re literally going to be changing the entire time, H, you could have just thrown on sweats,” she called back to him once inside the smaller room. He repeated how she always picked the right thing, even for just around the house. Again, Y/N rolled her eyes at Harry, but she also couldn’t hide the warm smile on her face that was due to his compliment.

She couldn’t believe how dramatic Harry could be sometimes. Right now, he was a lesser form of hungover and he was acting like his life was ending. Y/N had made a note a while ago to never agree to a meeting on the day after any partying. She learned the hard way one particularly terrible Sunday. She had come round his house at a similar time, noon-ish and found Harry dead asleep, backwards in his bed. When she had roused him, his only responses were grumbles and groans. She had to not only pick out his clothes, but also help dress him. Then, after providing water and aspirin, she moved all their work into his bedroom so they could work from there. Harry had proved to be a baby when it came to hangovers. But, she hadn’t realized he could get like this even without being truly hungover.

After settling on his live aid t-shirt, that Y/N was eternally jealous of, located at the front of his drawer and his favorite corduroy trousers, she walked out and threw them in the direction of his toned, but slumped body. “I will not get you boxers, that is most definitely not in my job description, Boss.” Y/N sent a pointed look in his direction, moving to finally leave the room. While he was technically her boss as her employer, their work relationship was extremely collaborative and it never felt like he was in control of her, she just liked to give him shit for being a drama queen.

“Guess I’ll be going commando. How’s that going to work with me changing in front of you a bunch of times?” He teased right back, taking the clothes you had thrown at him and giving them a onceover. His teasing signalled that he was already feeling better.

Y/N shook her head and walked out of the room, “For the love of God, Harry, please put on underwear before you come out and continuously strip in front of me!”

The words he shouted after that were muffled, but they were something along the lines of how the human body is beautiful and shouldn’t be covered up. Unbelievable. As she set to work on making both of them some lunch, she finally heard Harry begin moving around. They had a lot of work to do as it was and whenever Harry was in a mood, whether it be a good mood or a bad mood, they always seemed to have a hard time focusing.

One night, that could be seen as the poster child for Harry and Y/N’s procrastination, was during the planning for the Adore You music video. Harry was in a super good mood that day and he had brought that energy to their meeting at his house. Y/N was supposed to be fitting him for the various outfits, but Harry, in his mania, ordered an overzealous amount of Chinese food. It took her and Harry hours to even make a dent in the food. And while they passed the time with eating, Harry and Y/N got further and further from their tasks, opting for conversations that included more fun topics than work. They had gossipped about some of the other people they worked with, Harry had begged for “the tea” about some of his other staffers and Y/N was happy to oblige. As much as Y/N would hate to admit it, she loved when they got off of work subjects and talked about how their day’s had been and what has been on their nerves lately. It was a nice way to decompress, it was like hanging out with a friend, except it wasn’t, not really.

Harry shuffled into the kitchen wearing what Y/N had picked out for him. Her smile grew knowing that he hadn’t changed what she’d picked. His confidence in her and her abilities never failed to feel like the biggest compliment.

“Go sit at the dining table, I’ve made us some little sandwiches and then we can decide the order we want to go through the outfits in.”

Before following Y/N’s orders, Harry continued his shuffling around, first to the cabinet for a glass, then to the fridge for water. At the end of the table, she set the plates between the head of the table’s spot and the one to its left. Harry took the side spot, so Y/N was on the end. After a bite of his food, Harry moaned loudly in contentment. This caused an amused look on Y/N’s face, there had been nothing special in his house so she had just made what was possible. This meant that Harry’s satisfaction was a little over the top.

“You’re acting like you haven’t eaten in a week. What did you do last night that got you in such a twist?” Y/N asked as she took a sip of her own glass of water. Harry nibbled at his lower lip after swallowing, trying to understand why he was particularly tired today.

“I guess I forgot to eat properly yesterday and then I went out running. And I stayed up late on the phone with,” he paused, eyes flashing to Y/N and then away again, “someone for SNL.”

Y/N hummed at his words before going back to her own eating. She didn’t understand why he hesitated about telling her he’d been on the phone last night, it especially irked her that he wouldn’t even say with whom. Professionally, it wasn’t really her business, but Harry was never secretive with her. Plus, it seemed to be work related so why was he being so flighty about it.

Moving forward, Harry peppier from eating and simply moving around, the pair set to work. They decided on trying on everything else first and then saving the Watermelon Sugar suit to the end. The other three main pieces for the night fit perfectly, Y/N had to only do minor reworks of certain areas.

“H, I need you to hold still…” Y/N interrupted Harry’s ramblings as she was crouched beside him.

She had to take up the hem on the pant legs so right now she was trying to pin them in the place she and Harry had agreed upon, without messing with the pleats.

“Sorry,” He mumbled, straightening out his back to stand taller.

He stayed quiet for a bit until Y/N popped back up, she looked at her notebook for reference on what she still had to tailor.

“Okay, next, the pants crotch is looking pretty fitted, so I assume you want it taken down a bit,” Y/N said as she got back into her crouching position. “Look in the mirror and tell me where you think letting it out looks best, I don’t have the best vantage point when I’m up this close…” she trailed off, placing her measuring tape directly on top of Harry’s crotch and running it down his leg a ways.

Once done with her first attempt at where she thought was best to let the pants out, she turned her eyes to the mirror that showed Harry in his suit with Y/N on her knees before him. Harry cleared his throat as he looked in the mirror, seeing Y/N with her eyes wide in anticipation in the position she was in made him want to run and hide. Her hands were extremely close to his dick, but it was literally her job, he knew he had to shake the thoughts that were running through his mind.

“Maybe just a bit further up actually, as much as I like the high waist with dropped crotch, I want this suit to have that specifically tailored look,” his hands motioned for Y/N to bring the drop up a ways.

Her hands then brought the measuring tape up, once again grazing over his area. Again, Y/N looked at Harry through the mirror for approval, and this time he gave it and she placed a single pin in the place where the pants would be let out to.

Standing up, Y/N hoped Harry didn’t notice the blush gracing her face. She was a stylist and used to being around naked bodies as well as touching around a man’s crotch when working. But Harry in this suit must have been magic, because she had felt extremely vulnerable on her knees in front of him in it. She had felt flushed the minute he hadn’t liked what she had done initially and she hated that she felt that way for some reason. Beginning to work on the sleeves of the suit set her at ease, Y/N was thankful to no longer be kneeling or in such close proximity to what was under Harry’s pants.

“Anything on your mind of late?” Harry broke the silence.

Y/N hummed with a pin stuck between her lips, folding up the suit jacket’s right sleeve. Plucking it from her mouth after a few silent moments, she said, “Not really, haven’t had time to do much else lately. Always thinking about you,” Y/N flushed as she realized what she had just said. “I mean, thinking about you like about your clothes and when they’re going to arrive and what I need to do about them, not you personally, sorry that came out wrong,” her blush intensified as she rapidly fumbled through her last sentence.

“Ow!”

“Oh my god!”

While Y/N had gotten flustered with her words, she managed to stick the pin she was using straight into Harry’s flesh. She immediately removed the pin from where it had stuck him.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, H, we’ve got to get this off. I need to make sure you’re not bleeding onto the suit.”

Y/N rushed around to Harry's backside and began slipping off his suit jacket as Harry chuckled and began to unbutton the shirt as carefully as possible.

“‘S alright, Y/N, if there’s any blood on the shirt it’ll blend in, blood is practically the same color.” She glared at him through the mirror and Harry continued to laugh, “That is not funny, H, I shouldn’t have stuck you in the first place.”

“No, no,” Harry hushed Y/N as she began to slip off his shirt from one side to the other, taking off the sleeve on the side she hadn’t poked, “you’ve got so much on your plate with all the planning for the upcoming events. Then you worked yourself up over a little slip.” As Y/N carefully unbuttoned the cuff of the sleeve to try and slip off the shirt with the least amount of blood on it as possible, Harry finished with, “I wouldn’t mind if you were just thinking about me, though, an’ not the clothes.”

This time, Y/N was very in control, not willing to let herself slip up a second time today. She didn’t know how to respond to what Harry had just admitted. It wasn’t like this hasn't happened before. Both of them were guilty of making little comments that made it sound like they were interested in each other in a way that was a little different than professional or friendly. But every time the other person always had the responsibility to shut the idea down or completely blow past what their counter had just said.

“Harry…” She began, it was soft and pleading, like she was saying she couldn’t entertain that idea. Examining his forearm, after pulling the shirt completely away and resting it on a nearby chair, she saw a little spot of blood protruding from the pin prick she had caused. “Where do you keep your bandages?” Y/N decided that it was best to brush past Harry’s words this time and went off to find his first aid kit. Harry stood there, shirtless, staring at the blood on his arm. It really wasn’t a lot and it wouldn’t have done anything to the suit, but Y/N was always so careful and never wanted to ruin any of Harry’s clothes.

On her return, Y/N came upon a shirtless Harry perched on the edge of the table, with one arm crossed and his other - that was bleeding - being held slightly away from his body, as if Harry was afraid to touch it. His posture was slumped so Y/N could see his spine curving beneath his tanned honey-soft skin and his shoulder blades slightly flexed. While most of Harry’s body was covered in tattoos, she noticed how the closest tattoo to his back was the small line drawing of a guitar on the back of his left shoulder. Other than that his smooth back was bare. Y/N found it interesting that Harry had never chosen to ink his back. She jogged lightly back into the room and Harry’s head turned to watch her approach. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he regarded her. She noticed he was being particularly quiet, but she had no idea why. Maybe he was still tired.

Y/N set to work on finding the correct tissue, neosporin, and bandage for Harry’s small wound. As she worked on fixing up her mistake, Harry’s eyes followed her movements. Green eyes flickering between her hands on his arm and her own eyes focusing on her task.

“After this, I actually can just head home and finish the rest of the work,” Y/N said as she unpackaged the bandage, “I already know where I need to take in the suit sleeves and the shirt’s sleeves were looking fine. So, I can get out of your hair and you can get to sleep early tonight.” She placed the nude toned bandage over Harry’s arm, she was a little sad to find he didn’t own fun bandages. That was something that she expected from Harry, but she resigned that maybe she didn’t know everything about Harry.

Before Harry could speak, Y/N continued, “Don’t rehearsals for the show start tomorrow? When are you flying to New York?” She ran her hand over the bandage, smoothing it in place. Her hand lingered there as her eyes looked up and met Harry’s. Harry twitched his arm away from Y/N’s touch and scratched his nose slightly.

“Yeah, I’m flying out tomorrow morning. When are you set to fly out?”

“Friday. I’ll get in before the final dress rehearsal and then I’ll be there for the show.” Y/N stepped back and began to rehang the suit jacket and shirt that they had discarded in her haste to not get blood on them.

Then Y/N stood there staring at Harry. He looked at her slightly confused by her doing nothing when she said she was leaving. “Pants, H.” She said finally when she realized he had forgotten he was still wearing the suit pants. “Oh! Sorry,” Harry exclaimed as he began to unbutton and remove the pants he was wearing. He handed her the pants and she exchanged them with his live-aid t shirt. He took it graciously before slipping it on and disguising his toned body beneath it. Then he took his pants from earlier and fully redressed himself.

“Damn!” Y/N said and Harry’s head flipped to watch her as she began to put all of the clothing back in their garment bags and take down the rack.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just pinched myself with the rack, I’m all left feet today.”

“Here,” Harry chuckled as he walked over to help Y/N, “let me help you with all this. Just in the boot of your car, yeah?” Y/N nodded and smiled in appreciation for Harry. He grabbed her keys laying on the table and then took the rack and a garment bag. Even if things sometimes got tense between them, for whatever reason, he was always quick to move past it and be thoughtful and kind in the best ways for Y/N. After shaking her hand out, she grabbed the last garment bags and followed Harry out to her car. Harry shut the back of her car softly and turned to face Y/N, she stood beside her car door, ever so slightly leaning against it. He walked to her side and smiled.

“I’ll see you in a week,” he said before wrapping his arms around Y/N’s much smaller frame. His body was radiating heat and it felt good against Y/N in the crisp night air of London. She pressed into his hold and wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him hard. “Less than...Can’t wait to see you make an absolute fool of yourself out there.” Harry protested her tease with a small, “Hey!” but mostly focused on his hands on her back and the way her hair felt especially soft under his chin. Finally, Y/N pulled away, “Kidding! You’ll be amazing and you’ll look killer while doing it.” She winked before opening her car door and driving off. Harry was left with the lingering scent of her perfume and shampoo mingling in his nose.

It was the Saturday night, November 16th, 2019.

Harry and Y/N were in his dressing room before the show started. His outfits for the night were lined up, except for his opener one that Y/N had just dressed him in. His first change would be for Light’s Up, then a couple skit outfits that had to be moved elsewhere for quick changes, then the Watermelon Sugar suit, and then finally his end of the show casual look. The opener looked incredible, it’s fit was impeccable and Y/N knew people were going to love it.

She stepped back from Harry to give his whole body a once over, the SNL hairstylist had just blown out his hair and given him a sort of middle part. It definitely looked good and paired with the suit - Y/N could already tell it was going to be a hit by all accounts. Harry grinned back at her, doing a little dance to show just how much he was loving his clothes and how excited he was.

Grabbing the lint roller, Y/N gave the lapels of his suit jacket a once over and then moved it slightly out of the way to roll the big collar of Harry’s shirt and the bits of the body of the shirt that were showing underneath the jacket. Basically, Y/N was lint rolling over Harry’s clothed abs. Apparently, that was a ticklish area for Harry because he began to squirm and giggle under the tool’s touch.

“Seriously, H?”

She smiled as she said it, so excited for Harry that she couldn’t be mad at his relestness.

“Can’t help it. ‘M so giddy. Plus, I’m a wee bit ticklish.”

Y/N gave him a single laugh before removing the lint roller and smoothing over the shirt against his stomach and then over the lapels when she put the jacket back in place. She adjusted the Gucci reader’s she was wearing today, that were more for decoration than anything, but she liked to pretend they made her see better.

“You look smashing, Mr. Styles. Absolutely gorgeous, if I do say so myself.”

“Are you talking to me or the suit?” Harry asked as he flipped to look in the full length mirror in the dressing room.

“Can’t it be both?”

“Sure,” Harry said, he noticed the clock and realized it was his time to get in places. He leaned down and placed a small kiss on Y/N’s cheek, “It’s my time, thank you, Y/N.” She blushed at his words and actions. As he walked out the door, she called after him, “Break a leg, H!” He sent a final air kiss in her direction before completely disappearing.

She looked at the clothes hanging on the rack in the room and palmed over the fabric. Checking the lapels and brushing the lint roller over the, she finally stepped back and was happy with how they looked. When the show was just about to start, she flitted to the part of backstage where she could watch Harry perform. She giggled along to his monologue and grinned whole-heartedly when the crowd would roar with approval. Y/N had heard all of the jokes already because of the dress rehearsal yesterday, but it didn’t matter. Harry was killing it. She also took time to appreciate how good Harry looked in his suit on stage. In front of the lights and all the people, his suit shined brightly with the pops of blue and yellow and the oversized grey-iege jacket. His soft chestnut hair billowed perfectly to frame his forehead as he sipped from the faux martini. Y/N bit her lip to stifle her laugh. The fact that Harry, her boss and friend, was up on the Saturday Night Live stage with pink and blue nails sipping from a faux martini, it was perfect.

When Harry came back for his first performance change Y/N was right there waiting for him.

“Hi, that was really good,” she smiled up at him as he began to take off his coat.

He smiled brightly back at her as he exhaled a hefty breath, “You think so?”

“Yes! C’mon, everyone loved it. You delivered it all perfectly…” she took over undoing the buttons on the shirt because Harry was moving too slowly. “I’m in a man band now…” Y/N mumbled under her breath before chuckling.

“Did you just imitate my accent?” Harry said, now pulling off his sleeves.

Y/N moved around his back to take the shirt to hang and grab his Lights Up outfit. They worked like a well-oiled machine together, constantly taking over roles to get things done more efficiently, but never stepping on each other’s toes.

“Nope,” she winked before handing him the black sequin jumpsuit and exchanging it for his yellow pants. After rehanging the pants and bringing over Harry’s different set of boots, Y/N said, “Y’know, I’d have to say that your hair is giving your suit a run for its money.” She placed the shoes on the table beside Harry and began to fix into the place different parts of the jumpsuit, moving to zip up the back and then coming to the front to smooth it.

“What do you mean?” Harry looked in the mirror and delicately touched the edges of his hair, considering Y/N’s statement.

“No one ever really sees it how it is, nicely blown out but not too much product so it falls to frame your face. What’d you tell the hair person you wanted?” Y/N stepped back to allow Harry to change his boots from one Gucci pair to another, like he did with most of his wardrobe.

“Just told them to make me look mature. You think it looks good?” He looked up at Y/N when he asked the question.

“Think it looks sexy, that’s what I’m saying, no one’s gonna be able to focus on your clothes with how good your hair looks.”

“Ah,” he deftly runs his hands down his suit as he looks in the mirror.

Y/N just stares at Harry, checking him over one more time. She wasn’t lying about his hair, it was sexy and she wanted to run her hands through it to feel how soft it was. In a complete friend way of course.

“I like it…”

“It looks like you just rolled out of bed, but the bed was made of angel feathers.”

Harry laughed at Y/N’s description. He shifted his body to face her more and moved closer to her in the process.

“Alright, you should probably get back out there,” Y/N closes the gap between them and adjusts the chain of his jade and silver crosses and brushes over his broad shoulders.

They’re professional touches, but her movements hold an undercurrent of intimacy that neither of them realize. If anyone had been looking on, they would see how Y/N’s fingers delicately caressed Harry’s skin right before she cradled the pendants to move them in place. They would also see Harry instinctively lean forward into her touch and breathe slightly deeper to take in her scent. When she brushes over his shoulders, he straightens up at the touch and shows he’s ready to get back out there. It’s as if she prepared him to go.

Harry sings Lights Up and the crowd loves it. Sarah kills her drumming and Mitch eats up lead guitar. The backup singers bring out a different tone to the song. It is all around an amazing performance.

As Y/N clapped along with the crowd from backstage, Aidy Bryant approaches her.

“You’re Harry’s stylist, right?”

Y/N turns her head at the woman next to her, “Yeah?”

Aidy smiles, eyes slightly gleaming, “Well, you’re wonderful at your job.” As Y/N is about to thank her, Aidy continues, “And Harry knows that too, he talked about you all week. We all thought you were his girlfriend at first.”

Y/N laughed lightly and had to keep herself from letting her jaw drop at Aidy’s words. She even choked a bit on her own spit and had to cough slightly before even being able to think of a response, “Well, um, yeah...no, H, Harry is just my employer and...friend. No dating, we just get along well. Which is important since we spend a lot of time together - for work of course!”

Aidy smiled sweetly at Y/N, “Yeah, Harry explained that when Beck asked him how long you’d been together. At first he had said a couple months and then said ‘wait, Y/N is just my stylist, we’ve been working together for a couple months’ and then we all felt really dumb.”

“Don’t feel dumb,” Y/N reassured her, unsure why she was actually continuing this conversation, “He loves to talk about clothes and that’s where I fit in to his life, so I’m sure my name would come up a fair bit. Was that it?”

“Yeah I guess, but-” Aidy began to say more, but Y/N cut her off.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry, but Harry’s finished and I’ve got to go help him change for his next song.”

Aidy was left in Y/N’s wake, chuckling to herself, fully reassured about the reason that they had all thought Harry had been dating Y/N. Because they already acted like a couple. And they were both helplessly in love with one another and neither of them knew.

The rest of the show went off without a hitch. Harry continued to wow the crowd and Y/N sent him off from his dressing room always looking fabulous. Just as he was about to walk back on stage for his final farewell, Y/N noticed a tiny string on his trousers zipper. Unable to stop Harry and unable to grab at the string without looking odd, she had to let him walk on stage with it. It wasn’t actually a big deal, but Y/N sighed in annoyance because she knew that string was going to bug her for the rest of the night.

“Treat People With Kindness!” Harry finishes off his farewell.

Applause begins to sound and the cast is out front hugging and chatting, while Y/N is watching from the side still fixated on the string on Harry’s pants, now simply dangling. Finally, they begin to clear the stage because it’s time for the after party. Y/N knew there was no stealing Harry away to fix the problem that was now fixated in her mind. Every cast and crew member was trying to talk to him, congratulating him, hugging him, anything to spend time with the incredible man. Y/N couldn’t blame them, but she also wanted to be able to go some place quiet and debrief with Harry about his outfits. She wanted to look up what people were saying about his clothes and discuss the critiques with Harry. She also wanted to start discussing what was coming next with Harry. But most of all, she just wanted to hang out with Harry.

What Y/N wanted wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, which she knew, but it still only grew her annoyance with that string. If only she could get it off of him, maybe then her mind would be able to relax a little.

She meandered backstage, resigned she wouldn’t be talking to Harry for a while. There she went to find the band’s dressing room, knowing she would find Mitch or Sarah who she’d be happy to talk to. They weren’t ones for the spotlight and no one ever really seemed to want to brownnose with them at events like this. Y/N had met them a few times.

The first was when Harry had asked Y/N to meet him in the studio in mid July, Mitch and Sarah had both been there helping Harry finish up something for the album. Y/N never asked what, she liked music quite a bit, but when it came to the technical part of it, it went completely over her head. Harry had introduced them both and they seemed lovely. After that, she had seen them around for an event or two of Harry’s. It wasn’t much, but it was more than any of the other people around right now.

Just as she was about to knock on the door it swung open, revealing Harry’s entire backing band. “Hey,” Y/N said sheepishly, “Harry’s being fawned over by the masses and I don’t actually know anyone else here. Is it alright if I hang out with you all at this after party? I doubt there’s going to be anyone really dying to meet the stylist.”

She smoothed her own clothes as she spoke. Y/N wanted to look professional tonight because sometimes when she was dressed in more fun or “young” clothes she got mistaken for someone who had snuck in. The only thing that got people to not question her authority to be where she was, was a card that read ‘staff’ that she would clip onto whatever she was wearing at places like this. Tonight, she chose a pair of purple plaid pants, a sleek lilac tank underneath a cream knit shawl, and cream Gucci mules. Ever since Harry took an interest in Y/N’s pearl necklace, she had largely stopped wearing hers because she hoped never to be photographed matching with him. However, she had known the pearls would have completed the look, even putting them on in her hotel room, twisting a pearl in her hand as she looked in the mirror, and then taking the necklace off again and settling on a different silver necklace instead. The ‘staff’ card was clipped to her pants pocket tonight.

“Of course!” Sarah said as the band began to file out of the room, “You might want to take your tag off now, though, you’re done working for the night.”

Her laughter rang sweetly through Y/N’s ears and she smiled back before removing her identifying card. She hated the piece of plastic and was glad to take it off, it never went with her outfits, but she had gotten tired of taking out her business card every time someone asked what she was doing. Y/N was sure that during the tour she’d be fine without it, but as Harry’s show appearances were beginning to ramp up she knew it would be helpful to have.

“Thanks...you all were amazing out there tonight. Second time on the SNL stage right?”

The group of you began to walk in the direction of where the after party was being held. Mitch piped up, “Thanks. Yeah, I love their box stage setup, it’s pretty cool.” Y/N was happy that she had people who were easy to talk to so that she wouldn’t be alone tonight.

Arriving in the room of the party, they were all quick to grab the alcohol that was being provided at the pop up bar. Y/N wasn’t normally a fan of drinking at events like these, mainly because she was not usually invited to this part of the night and when she was she wanted to be alert. But she figured there wasn’t much else to do so she took a hearty sip of the champagne. It was a little sweet, her face scrunched.

“Too sweet?” Mitch questioned when he saw Y/N’s face.

“Just a little for my taste.”

“Harry’s not going to be drinking tonight then. So particular about his alcohol,” Mitch continued.

Y/N laughed, “Well I’m glad, then I don’t have to deal with him being a baby about his hangover tomorrow.”

Mitch quirked an eyebrow at Y/N’s statement. Sarah and the others in the band had dispersed to mingle with the SNL party goers, leaving Mitch and Y/N to their conversation.

Realizing what she said could be seen as slightly weird out of context, Y/N quickly started again, “because I’m supposed to go shopping with Harry tomorrow. He wanted to go to Gucci and a couple other stores here before flying to LA. I’m going back to London until the listening parties, so we need to figure out the finishing touches for those and..” Y/N trailed off trying to remember which looks weren’t completed yet for the next few shows, Mitch waited patiently, “a few of the suits for the Late Late Show. He’s not happy with one of them so we might switch it. But anyway, you know how he is with a hangover. Proper child.”

Mitch threw his head back in laughter at Y/N’s serious look that she gave him. “Yeah, he can be...a lot. I meant to tell you, Harry looked great tonight. All of the clothes were fantastic,” Mitch added.

He was kind and Y/N appreciated him sticking with her. The two of them had rested themselves against a wall near the bar, sipping their champagne and enjoying each other’s company.

“Thank you.”

Mitch opened his mouth to say something else, but Heidi Gardener, another SNL member interrupted.

“Y/N, right!?”

Y/N and Mitch both turn to her, equally taken aback by the sudden burst of energy from this person they didn’t really know. Y/N nodded.

“Oh my gosh! You have to tell me where you got the jacket Harry is wearing!”

Heidi even goes as far to point in Harry’s direction. Y/N knows what she’s talking about, but her eyes still wander to where she pointed. Harry stood in a clump of people, surrounded by Ben Winston, James Corden, and the Gerbers who had all come to watch. She sighed as she watched his eyes shine as he laughed with a smile on his face. She hoped that by now the string had fallen off his pants by now, if not she was going to kick herself later.

“Oh, it’s Bode,” Y/N’s eyes coming back to meet Heidi’s happy face, “but it’s custom made from a vintage blanket. There’s only two that exist.”

Y/N and Mitch watched as Heidi’s face dropped.

“And I’m pretty sure the designer owns the other one,” Y/N added, “Sorry.”

Heidi smiles and jokes, “Know any ways I could possibly get Harry to give me his?”

“He loves that coat. I have no idea what you could possibly do to convince him he didn’t need it anymore.”

“Sex, probably,” Mitch says under his breath.

Heidi doesn’t catch it as she walks back off and Y/N turns to swat him with her free hand.

“What? He always gives away his clothes to girl’s he has crushes on.” Y/N rolls her eyes at Mitch’s words.

“Probably best if you don’t inform the masses about that,” a new voice says.

Unbeknownst to Mitch and Y/N, Harry had broken away from his entourage to steal a few minutes with his two friends, his best friends if he was being honest. They laugh together as he wraps his arms around their shoulders and pulls them both into his chest. Y/N feels the warmth radiating from Harry’s body as she snuggles into his side. Her hand wraps under his jacket and around his waist to squeeze right about his hip bone. His face is gleaming with a small sheen of sweat, but his smile is so big she barely notices his perspiration as he looks down at her.

“Heard you were talkin’ shit?”

Mitch quips, “Us? Never.”

Harry scoffs, “Come off it!”

When he releases Y/N and Mitch from his grasp, Mitch straightens up while Y/N’s eyes immediately go down to Harry’s crotch. She’s not paying attention to their conversation as she tries to make out in the dim light whether the string is gone or not. The men realize she’s not listening and they both follow her gaze.

Confused, Harry asks, “Y/N, any particular reason you’re staring at my dick?”

Her head shoots up, eyes wide and cheeks flushed from embarrassment.

“I wasn’t!”

Mitch laughs and decides he wants another glass of champagne right then, mumbling something about how that was his cue. Harry smiles, knowing she wasn’t doing what he had said, but still intrigued to know what was going on in her mind.

“You had a string right on your zipper and it’s been bugging me since you went out for your outro. This is the first time I’ve seen you on your own and I couldn't exactly go up to you in a random crowd and grab at your crotch. But now I can’t see in this light…” Y/N bit at her lower lip and furrowed her brow still trying to see if the string was there.

“Have you really been thinking about it this whole time?” Harry asked, slightly concerned.

“Yes...I know it doesn’t matter, but I just want your clothes to look perfect.”

Harry takes a deep breath as he makes a small smile at Y/N. Then he brushes over the front of his pants, hoping he removes the string if it's still attached to him. “There, I’m sure it’s gone now. I’m sorry you had to worry about that. Just know everyone I’ve talked to has been raving about the clothes.” He placed his ring-clad hand on Y/N’s upper arm and squeezed it.

“You did an amazing job,” Y/N said.

Harry pulls her into his chest one more time. This time without Mitch so both of Harry’s arms go around her shoulders and both of hers go around his slender waist. Again her hands disappear under his coat and thumb over his warm white t-shirt, her face resting on his chest right next to the word ‘Sex’. His arms tighten around her back as they rest there for a while. Y/N always has to make herself pull away, knowing that Harry will stay there for as long as he can - in anyone’s embrace - and remembering they’re in a public setting, she didn’t want anyone to assume things, even if she had already been made aware that people had.

“We’ll debrief more later tonight, yeah? The champagne is terrible so I won’t be drinking,” Harry said.

Y/N laughed under her breath as she smiled at his words. Mitch and her knew Harry too well. She nodded about getting together later, “Alright. Get back to your fan club.” Harry narrowed her eyes at her words, not sure if she was trying to sound sarcastic or not.

Hey, I’m back at the hotel. Just let me know when you want to debrief :) x

Y/N texted Harry the minute she got back to the hotel, she had no idea if he had left before her or was still at the after party. All she knew was that it was late and she was starting to get tired. Still, it was important for them to talk about their plans for tomorrow and she also really wanted to just be with him alone. Whenever they would debrief after big events Harry and Y/N would laugh at all the outrageous stuff they had seen go on throughout the night.

When she was still a freelance stylist she had helped Harry to plan his Camp outfit at the Met Gala. That night, they never even went to bed and had to debrief about the clothes the next afternoon over tea at the Palace. Both her and Harry were recovering from their exhaustion and nursing equally terrible hangovers. But there they were, sitting in the center of the dining area of the hotel, being served some of the nicest tea and sandwiches Y/N had ever had. It was amazing. Y/N had never felt that rich in her life before and Harry had told her the craziest stories about the most famous people in attendance. It was almost unbelievable what these people would reveal to Harry and Y/N was happy to listen to all of it, promising to never tell anyone else. That outing was probably the first time Harry realized he really liked Y/N and wanted to work more closely with her.

While tonight wasn’t quite as wild as the Met Gala had been, Y/N was still excited to hear any funny stories Harry might have in addition to their clothing talk. They really hadn’t had much time to chat since she had gotten to New York yesterday so it would be nice to just be alone together. Even if Y/N chalked their debriefs up to ‘shop talk’, she was always very excited for them.

As she reached her hotel room door, her phone buzzed with a message from Harry.

I’m still out, but should be heading back soon. Up to you if you want to wait up or we can just debrief in the morning while we shop. x H

Y/N sighed at the message, she wanted to wait up and debrief before tomorrow, if not for alone time with Harry but professionally for being able to plan out their shopping tomorrow. Where Harry was carefree, Y/N was meticulous and planned out. She liked to have fun, but she knew when she had to get her work done, even when Harry was off in his own mind. Their work styles mostly coincided, Harry could be serious and focused, too, but often when he was surrounded by all his famous friends he had a hard time saying ‘no’ to whatever came up. So Y/N knew that Harry’s definition of ‘soon’ could range from actually soon to almost dawn. She really hoped he actually meant soon, so she shot him a text saying:

Just knock on my room and if I open it we can debrief lol x

Harry smiled down at his phone when Y/N’s text came through, slightly chuckling before double tapping and placing a heart reaction of her text. Then he was pulled into the limo that one of his friend’s had gotten them and was handed a flute of champagne.

Back at the hotel, Y/N threw her phone on the bed and decided to change and simply settle in for the night. If Harry made it back, he made it back and if he didn’t she’d wake up well rested.

Maybe thirty minutes into scrolling on her phone, Y/N heard a rough knock on her door. She was actually quite surprised that Harry had indeed been back soon. Rising from her snuggled place in the bed, she shifted around her night clothes and padded to her door. There stood, rather hung, a slightly disheveled Harry. His hair was whipped into disaster, something was smudged on his face, and she noticed a stain on his t-shirt that hadn’t been there the last time she’d been with him.

He slurred her name as he stumbled through the doorway. Y/N closed her eyes and sighed in exasperation. She was in awe that somehow Harry hadn’t gotten off his ass in the past hour and a half.

“What happened to not drinking tonight?”

She walked beside him and helped shove him into a sitting position on her bed. He flapped his arms, chaotically trying to get his plaid jacket off. Throwing her phone in the direction of her pillow, she moved to help Harry with his jacket. After quite a bit of strugglings, Y/N finally got the Bode jacket off of him successfully and threw it onto the nearby chair. Sighing, she settled beside him.

“So, Harry, care to explain?”

“Hi, Y/N…” He swayed slightly, attempting to face Y/N more. She threw out a hand to his shoulder, gripping him tightly to try and steady him.

“We went in this limousine, and they had champagne - good champagne - and I drank a bottle or so pretty quickly.”

“Or so? Oh Harry...I mean you’re free to make your own choices, but I don’t know if this was one of your best.”

“Wasn’t...wasn’t my idea. I was planning on just going back to the hotel. Then James convinced me to come out for a bit. Then the champagne was looking good so I went for it.”

“Like I said, you can make your own choices,” she patted his arm and went to the en suite bathroom to wet a washcloth to clean off his face.

“So, is it champagne on your shirt or am I going to have to go through hell to get the stain out?” She called.

Harry groaned and leaned back on the bed, fingering at the crisp white sheets. “Champagne,” he finally muttered as Y/N reappeared into the dim room, only the outside world and the light in the bathroom lighting this area.

“And on the face?”

She climbed onto the bed and kneeled beside Harry’s prone body, beginning to swipe at the smudge on his face. He tilted his head to face her, bringing the cheek with the dirt to lay facing perfectly up. His jawline showed perfectly and she felt the strength that laid beneath the skin she was washing.

His eyes flitted up to her face, trying to stop the spins he was currently experiencing. He hadn’t thought he was that drunk until he had been required to find his way up to their floor on his own.

“Lipstick?”

She sighed, running the washcloth over his cheek once more, and tried to push the image of some woman (or man who wore lipstick, she guessed) with her lips all over Harry’s face. She didn’t want to know who it was or why it was. It was too hard, especially after the day of people asking her about Harry and her relationship and insinuating things about him and his romantic life. She just liked to keep the words Harry and romance apart as much as possible, it made her life easier that way.

“It was only from-”

“It’s ok, Harry, I don’t need to know who you were…” She stopped herself, not even wanting to say ‘kissing’ or ‘snogging’ or even worse ‘shagging’. Adults were human beings and they could do a lot in an hour and a half. And again, she didn’t want to know.

“You keep doing that. Are you mad at me?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Calling me Harry, not ‘H’. Is it because you’re mad at me?”

“No,” she sighed, shifting to sit more casually, “No, I’m not mad at you. I just wasn’t expecting you to show up at my door like this. I try not to worry about you, but then when you show up like this, it kind of affirms I had reason to be concerned.”

She took a hand and smoothed over Harry’s tousled hair, he rolled his head back to face the ceiling. “Like I said, you’re an adult, capable of making his own decisions. And, I am just your stylist. I’m just glad you made it up here and knocked on my door. Probably would have given someone else a fright.”

He laughed, starting to sober up as the spinning in the room stopped. Her hands on his face and hair were soothing and sobering.

“Thank you for caring about me, love. And going beyond being just my stylist, you’re my friend Y/N.”

His eyes flickered shut and Y/N stared at his soothed features. His words were still slurred and she was sure the use of love was just his britishness slipping through his drunken state. The part about being more than a stylist, she tried to push it away, telling herself not to read more into it than her heart would like to. Even though he said she was a friend as well as a stylist and not anything more, it still sent so much joy through her body. He didn’t just see her as a work colleague and he had said it. But in his inebriated state, Y/N didn’t want to take everything he said as gospel.

She moved him up the bed with a little bit of his sleepy self’s help into a more comfortable position. It was pretty late now and she wasn’t going to kick him out. It would have been rude and unkind and that were two things Y/N rarely was. She went and grabbed the extra blanket from the cabinet and draped it over Harry’s large body for extra warmth since he refused to get under the covers. She also slipped off his boots and stained shirt per his request before getting into the other side of the bed and falling asleep.

She awoke to a shifting body beside her and she sat up confused as to who it could be. Quickly, Harry showing up drunk at her door came flooding back and she turned to look at the groaning Harry beside her. His arm was thrown over his face as he moaned, just waking up as well and experiencing the first bits of his hangover. This was going to be a long day.

“Hullo,” his voice was especially low, groggy and hoarse from the night before. He peaked over at her from behind the crook of his elbow. His eyelids barely open and his eyelashes weighing them down so much so that she could barely see his sleepy jade eyes.

“Good morning, H. Have a nice rest?” Y/N sat up and began to ready herself for the day, rummaging through her suitcase for an outfit and moving about the room.

Harry’s arms went to his sides as he worked to sit up, eyes following her figure as she moved around, seemingly not groggy very much unlike him. “Erm...I’m sorry for showing up pissed.”

“S’fine, H. Just glad you didn’t end up in a ditch or someone’s bed - someone’s that you might regret…” She barely regards him, throwing a single glance his way before shuffling to the bathroom to change. She knows they’ll be photographed today, it’s almost inevitable right now. Everyone knows Harry is in New York and people are buzzing to see him after his performance last night. She slips on the 70s inspired dress, the v-neck and long sleeves settling perfectly on her frame, it hugs her curves and lands around mid-thigh. Rolling on the bold mustard yellow tights and strapping up the brown leather mary jane heels, she looks herself over in the mirror. She then tries to tame her hair and do the rest of her routine, knowing she needed to get on with the day, shopping first and flying home second. Making sure Harry was okay was also on that list, but she couldn’t pretend like she wasn’t a little disappointed in him after last night.

When she returns, Harry is sitting with his legs hanging off the edge of the bed, head hanging as he’s hunched over himself. “C’mon, you gotta get going, kid. Lots to do today.” She’s pacing over to Harry’s deflated figure to pick him up and prompt him to get moving. When she arrives by his side his head lifts and his now more awake eyes stare up at her.

“I’m sorry for yesterday, really. I mean it.”

“I told you already. It’s fine.”

“It’s not - or it wasn’t. You called me ‘Harry’ last night. I don’t think I’ve heard you call me that to my face since we started working together. I took your answer last night because I was swimming in it, but now, thinking about it. I know you were upset.”

She huffs, taking a seat beside Harry on the bed, choosing to not look at him, slightly confused why she had been so upset and why he was pushing it. “Ok, yeah I was annoyed, but I was also genuinely worried. I didn’t know you could physically get that drunk in that small amount of time. And then you show up at my door with somebody else’s…” Y/N falters, catching her slip up and deciding to fix her gaze on her shoes and their intricate design built into the leather.

“You’re upset that I had lipstick on me?” He’s trying to meet Y/N’s gaze, but her eyes are really interested in her shoes. His tone is confused, he’s trying to understand what’s going on in her mind.

She scoffs, risking a glance to Harry but then returns quickly back to her dress this time. “Please...it was just inconvenient for me, okay? Thought we were going to debrief and stayed up late for you. Then I had to take care of you after you hung out with your famous pals and I had barely even seen you all day. Felt a bit used.”

Harry shifted in the bed, turning to face her by tucking one leg beneath him. He places a hand on hers that was placed on the end of her dress. Her eyes finally meet with his and she feels her breath slightly catch in her throat. His eyes are piercing, his gaze intense, maybe even a tinge of anger. “Y/N, I would never have come to your room if I even had an inkling that this would be how you’d interpret it . Even though I was drunk, I wanted to see you, that’s why I came up here, because I wanted to be with my friend, one of my best friends, not because I just needed some pushover to care for me.”

She sighs, feeling icky still about the whole situation. She sometimes found herself in fights that she never intended, she wished she hadn’t said anything at all. But she also knew that wasn’t healthy either. Flipping her hand, she intertwines her fingers with Harry’s and smiles for the first time that morning. His expression softens at it. “Look, I’m sorry too, H. It honestly wasn’t that big of a deal, but I appreciate that you’re such a great guy and boss to want to truly apologize and make sure I’m comfortable and happy… Oh, and I promise I’ll never call you anything but H from here on out - unless you tell me otherwise.”

He cackles unabashedly at her words, before suddenly clutching at his temple with his free hand. “Fuckin’ hangover,” he mumbles. She smiles and stands up, beginning to throw his shirt and shoes from the end of the bed at him, “You need to get ready. Go pop some advil or whatever. My flights at 5 so we haven’t got all day, H.”

“There she is,” Harry grins, beginning to put back on the stained ‘Sex’ shirt.

As he hustles out of the room, shoes in hand, she calls to him one last request, “When you’re in fresh clothes make sure you bring me that stained shirt. Gonna have to spot clean it when I’m back in London!”

“Of course! And we’ll debrief as we shop, yeah?”

“Yes!”

The two of them were shouting to each other as the door continued to close on them. Chuckling to herself, she begins to pack up her room, knowing she had to check out before they left. Her spirits already lifted, she doesn’t even notice as she throws Harry’s forgotten Bode jacket into her suitcase with some other items that had been on her chair. She wouldn’t notice it until she was back in London unpacking from the trip.

Shutting the case, she springs back up from her crouched position and walks to look in the full length mirror again. Her fingers run the length of her dress, leafing over the slightly darker brown embroidered flowers that were woven into the tan fabric. She squints as she turns sideways and pops a heel up behind her. It looks good, but something is missing. Rummaging through her carry-on she pulls out her old butterfly bandana she used as a head scarf and begins to fix it into place on her head. Placing large sunglasses on the bridge of her nose, she feels like the look is complete and gives herself some poses in the mirror; a peace sign, an air kiss, a Marilyn Monroe. She laughs at herself.

A knock on the door shakes her from her childish fun. Straightening up, Y/N saunters over to the door, swinging it open with ease. “H?”

“You ready?” Harry stands in a fresh pair of Marni trousers paired with a striped orange and mauve Marni sweater. He, like Y/N, had this thing about wearing the brand you planned to shop at. He didn’t always stick to his rule, but he usually didn’t like to wear Gucci when he shopped at Gucci.

“Yeah, just need to check out and drop my baggage at the front to be held for later.” Y/N slips through the door and notes how his outfit compliments hers. She wouldn’t mention it, but it's something to think about since he had known what she was wearing. She wasn’t sure why she noticed things like that, if asked, her answer would probably be that it was the stylist in her, just her job.

Stepping out of a black town car on the side street next to Gucci to go in the side entrance would never get old for Y/N. She had never really enjoyed the idea of fame, but from a young age she had known she wanted to be able to afford the finer things in life. Going into the Gucci store now, especially with Harry, was like going to the candy store once you’re a grown up and can buy whatever you want rather than what your parents will allow you to.

Today, Harry and Y/N didn’t have as much time as they would usually like to spend in the store, but they were just happy to be doing what they loved. Y/N had been ecstatic to find out Harry found shopping to be an essential part of his life and that he liked to do his outfit shopping in person rather than online. Trying on clothes and picking out things you liked just was so much more fulfilling when you were in the physical store. Then make that all happen with Harry Styles as the buyer, then it was a real party. The stores liked to pull out their Champagne and clear the store to allow him privacy, specifically when it was for clothes for projects under wraps. In the beginning of her employment, it was only ever Harry who would do the trying on of clothes, but as the two of them got acquainted and comfortable with each other, she found herself trying things Harry would pick out for her. At first, she would veto some items saying they were too expensive for her, but eventually she learned that her new salary covered whatever it was. She had always enjoyed designer labels and choosing to be a stylist meant she had nice clothes, but only working for Harry had caused her closet to double in size and triple in value.

“So we are looking for some trousers today,” she tells the worker at the store, reminding them of what she had already called ahead about. The employee nods and proceeds to lead them into the room where they had laid out an assortment of pants for Harry to pick from.

“What do you think of these?” Harry walks out and strikes a pose, popping one of his hips to the side and his hands on his hips. The pants strain around his thighs, but fit practically perfectly everywhere else. His slim waist is perfectly encircled by the fabric and he’s decided the sweater he was wearing didn’t match them and he’d rather go shirtless. This choice technically should allow her to solely focus on the pants, but it actually makes her focus that much more diverted. She makes a spinning motion with her pointer finger as she purses her lips. He takes a quick spin and the boot cut slightly flares with his movement. The pants are a dark brown with a single plaid crossing in a lighter brown. They are only lightly flared, which she prefered to the extreme flare that some of Harry’s suits had. She narrows her eyes at the pants to keep her gaze from shifting to the taut muscles of Harry’s arms and torso or the dark ink that licked over his skin in the beautiful designs of his choice.

“They’re nice,” she pulls up a picture of the top part of the outfit he was planning on wearing, “Do you think they match with this though?” Harry walks over to her seated position and bends to look at her phone. His skin radiates heat and the smell of his cologne and she sniffles slightly with her sensitive nose. His eyes flicker to her face when he notices her little noise, but returns to looking at the phone when she doesn’t spare him a glance. She felt his gaze on her, but couldn’t bring herself to look from the phone. She knew his proximity would make it even harder for her to keep her eyes off his naked torso. The expensive smell of Harry mixed with the expensive smell of the store was a lot to handle.

“Yeah...no. You think they’re not right,” she widens her eyes at Harry’s words when he pulls away. He turns to the mirror in the open dressing room and fiddles with the waistline of the pants. “I agree,” he finishes before stalking back into the room and shutting the heavy velvet curtain that worked as the door to it.

He tries on five more pairs of trousers and finally settles on two pairs for the two different listening parties. A heavier, wool-tweed pair that was dark brown and then a lighter brown tweed pair. He was still in the lighter pants as he stared into the mirror. He beckoned to Y/N, and she quickly set down the flute of Champagne she had been sipping at lazily as he admired himself.

“Is it possible for you to take it in a bit more,” he says in a hushed tone to her, not wanting the workers to overhear. They were helpful but if they overheard they would wait for the store to tailor the trousers and he preferred for Y/N to do it. He rubs at the waistline again and she moves closer, her hands going to his sides. Her fingertips graze the naked skin above the trousers and Harry shivers at the coldness of the new touch. She ghosts softly over the waistline herself and smooths the fabric until she’s pinching a small amount on each side. She hums, pulling back from Harry and looking at the fit of them now, examining whether that makes them look better.

Then she nods and smiles up at Harry, “Ever the slender waist,” he grins right back as she admires him. She knew how much he liked praise and she was happy to give it to him, especially when he was so deserving. “I’d say size down, but then your thighs and bum might strain the fabric too much.” His face turns to a smirk as she blushes at her words. She releases the fabric and takes a hand to pat Harry’s smooth chest before walking back to her seat on the lovely couch.

“You sure you don’t want to try anything on, Y/N? Saw some killer boots when we walked in that screamed you.” Harry calls from behind the curtain, presumably getting redressed. Her laugh comes through the curtain slightly muffled, yet still a sweet melody in Harry’s ears.

“Definitely not now, we’re leaving any minute. Plus, I’ve got plenty of Gucci boots, don’t even show me them or I’ll be tempted.”

His laughter rings through the curtains, loud and unrestrained. She smiles to herself, unable to discourage the pleasure that weaves through her at the sound. His presence in all the different ways she experienced it was instantly comforting.

When she arrives back to her London flat, she practically flops on her couch once she’s inside the door. Her luggage forgotten at the door, as she shrugs off her coat. It was around 7 am because she had chosen to take the red eye for some reason. She groaned as she thought about the day ahead of her. Even though Harry was halfway across the globe, she still had plenty of work to do. She had to finalize the outfits for the listening parties now that they had the pants to complete the looks. Then she had to start thinking about Harry’s December appearances. She had sent ahead his Late Late outfits that he had needed in Los Angeles for the pre-filming, but she still had to deal with the outfits for the live part of the show.

Today, she was set to go pick up the other pieces needed for the listening parties as well as items for the Graham Norton Show and Jingle Ball. She was most excited for her travels because that meant looking at brand new clothes that were perfect and gorgeous. She also knew she needed to spot clean Harry’s shirt, which didn’t spark as much joy in her tired mind.

The idea of the shirt staining with alcohol was what brought her out of her snuggling with her comfy couch. Sure, it couldn’t get that bad, but still she was a worrier and it would pain her if the iconic shirt got ruined. She padded back over to her luggage, now without her jacket or shoes. Her major suitcase got flipped on its side and she began to unzip it. It came open easily seeing as it was stuffed with her clothes and various items. She had to rummage a minute for Harry’s shirt that seemed to have run away inside the bag. Finally, the large white shirt made itself known and she grasped it happily.

As she looked over the stain near the collar of the shirt, her eyes traveled to a piece of fabric peeking out of her suitcase. It was a familiar blue, cream and white. A specific fabric she would never misplace, would never not recognize. Harry’s plaid Bode jacket. It was iconic and she loved it, but why did she have it in her suitcase. She definitely didn’t mean to have it, it’s genuinely just one of Harry’s jackets so it wouldn’t make sense for her to bring it back with the show's wardrobe. She tries to think back to yesterday, when she was still in New York. Thinking about why she would have it, she places the memories of Harry coming to her room, taking off his coat, and accidentally leaving it in her room all fit together. She must have just absentmindedly placed it in her suitcase without even realizing. She’s sure Harry wouldn’t mind, she’d shoot him a text, though, to tell him she had it. So he wouldn’t worry about whether he’d lost it or not.

When she gets ready for the day, she finds herself being drawn to blue and cream. Her outfit is understated and she just knows the jacket would finish the look. She loved that jacket and now that she had it, would it be a big deal if she wore it out. She figured it was fine. After she grabbed her purse, keys, and other essentials, she slipped on the coat. Harry was very broad shouldered and it hung oversized on her. She loved the look and snapped a selfie in the mirror before she headed out. While it felt a little narcissistic to constantly take photos of herself, she felt like as a stylist it was important to document her looks just as much as she documented her clients.

What she didn’t think about is just how much the rest of the world liked to document her client and those who were seen with her client. She didn’t think about how she had just been seen with Harry yesterday. That thought didn’t even cross her mind as she walked around the streets of London picking up her work. As she saw some photographers out and about (whom she assumed were for famous celebrities, not her). How it might seem with her wearing the Bode jacket Harry had worn on SNL two nights ago. The Bode jacket that there were only two of.

None of it crossed her mind. Not until it was the end of the day and she had a whole slew of texts from Harry’s manager. A few from Harry, and others but the other fifteen were solely from Jeff. She was a bad texter so as she walked into her flat and finally looked at her phone after putting down all of her garment bags her eyes went wide.

Please tell me you’re not out in London right now!

What are you wearing??

That cannot be Harry’s jacket Y/N

Seriously?

Please call me.

CALL ME. NOW.

- All from Jeff.

She grimaced. The others from her friends including Harry would have to be ignored right now. Even if Harry was her boss, Jeff was who she had to deal with when it came to public appearances and it didn’t seem like she could get around this one. Normally, she never had to deal with him, but it seems today wasn’t normal.

part 2

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kiribaku-queen · 4 years ago

Note

Could we please have an insecure!reader x Bokuto! (Also Todoroki x reader but separately if that’s okay?) where she starts to slowly starts to compare herself to all the fangirls and the girls that confess to them? So she slowly starts to distance herself, then meets up with then to break up. But when she says she wants to break up the boys are like “do you not love me anymore, what happened” then she basically goes on a spiel about how much better he would be with one the fangirls and just straight up says she looks like the trash but of course she still loves him. So then the boys reassure her that she’s the only one he wants and that she is perfect and blah blah blah and it’s just a nice happy ending basically :)

It’s Always Been You

Pairing: Bokuto x reader

Angst, Fluff

Word count: 3.1K

A/N: I’M BACK! I’m starting to get back into the groove of things while juggling my work but hopefully, I’ll be able to start that new series soon! Let me tell yall, when I finished plotting out and detailing everything I want to happen in this series, it was 11 pages long.... like what?

Anyway, I love love loved this prompt. It actually made me feel sad inside. I hope it wasn’t too rushed. Also, I just wanted to do Bokuto since I have a lot on my plate, writing wise so i hope that is okay! Thank you to whoever sent this in and I hope you are satisfied with this! Happy reading! (if you want to know more about my next series, DM me! I really want to talk about it LOL)

“Kotarou-kun!” you bellowed your boyfriend’s name from the stands. You would always go to Bokuto’s volleyball practice whenever you could. You had your own club activities so you couldn’t always be there to cheer him on. But when you would, Bokuto would be jumping with joy, trying new moves just to impress you. You were already impressed with the achievements he made this past year, one being the top 5 spikers in all of Japan. But he somehow still thinks that there’s more wow factor in him for you. When Bokuto hears his name fall from your lips, he automatically whips his head and gives you the widest smile.

“(y/n)!” he sings your name, waving both hands in the air. Bokuto was so distracted by you that he didn’t see that ball coming straight for him. Luckily, it missed him but just a hair. But now his team was upset that they just lost a point thanks to him. Thank god this was just practice and not an actual game. You’d never live that one down. You could see Bokuto rubbing the back of his head, embarrassed, as his team continued to scold him to pay attention.

Spike after spike after spike after spike, you were amazing at how many times Bokuto could spike the ball down without getting tired. If that was you, you would surely break both your ankles. You leaned on the railing, admiring how hardworking and how much effort he put in his sport. You’ve never met anyone more dedicated than the man who was dominating the court by just standing there.

“This one’s for…” Bokuto starts as he jumps in the air with exceptional form. You smile fondly because you know what’s about to happen. “(Y/N)!!!” he dedicates his spike to you, yelling with his whole chest and smacks the ball on the other side of the court. With the widest smile and a big thumbs up, Bokuto faces you after his great feat. His teammates clearly embarrassed with his antics. It’s practice, for crying out loud. But Bokuto didn’t care what anyone else thought. He was going to shower you with love and affection to show everyone just who captured his heart.

You giggle to yourself. You loved this side of Bokuto. In the beginning of your relationship, you admit that it was embarrassing. He was just so extra with his affection that you didn’t know how to take it. But day by day, you learned to accept and love all the things he does for you. His smile, his laugh, his iconic ‘hey, hey, hey’ line, and even when he dedicates certain moves to you. But you weren’t the only one to admired him. No, his fangirls were also in love with that. Speaking of fangirls…

When practice was over, you made your way down the bleachers and over to your boyfriend, but when the team came into sight, Bokuto was already surrounded by a herd of fangirls.

“Bokuto-san, you were super cool today!”

“Can you show me how to play?”

“Are you thirsty? Here, I bought you some water!”

“Do you need a towel?”

“Can we feel your muscles?”

Bokuto looked uncomfortable, to say the least. You stayed behind the crowd of girls, giving him some space with his fans. He sees you immediately and gives you an apologetic look. You shake your head, insinuating that it was okay. Because it honestly was. You can’t be mad at him for having adoring fans. It was natural if he was going to play professionally. And this is nothing if he was to really play on a pro volleyball team. So you could take it. Bokuto continues to interact with the girls while to watch them, waiting until he’s ready to leave.

You could see him trying to make his way through the crowd to get to you, but surprisingly, his fans were pretty strong. They refused to let him leave, no matter how many times he said he had to go. But again, you were willing to be patient.

“Look, ladies. I’d love to stay and talk, but I have someone waiting on me,” Bokuto tried one more time and pointed in your direction. All their heads whipped around to you, not looking too happy. Their stares burned at you, scaring you a bit at how vicious they could look. With them distracted, Bokuto was able to slip out of their circle and by your side.

“Shall we go?” he looked down at you, love back in his eyes. You nod and Bokuto automatically wraps his hand around your shoulders, leading you out of the court.

As you pass by the group of girls who were still staring daggers at you, you heard their whispers. You weren’t sure if they were saying it on purpose or if it was because it was the truth, but they were speaking loud enough for you to overhear.

“What does he see in her?”

“Do you see her bare face? Does she not care that she looks homeless?”

“It’s because her face is bumpy, so if she wore makeup it would look cakey.”

“No, even if she did wear makeup, it would look so bad because she doesn’t know how to put it on.”

“God, she’s so boring!”

“Her hair isn’t even done.”

“It’s like she purposely trying be a loser.”

“And do you see how her rolls are spilling out of her shirt? Embarrassing!”

You tightened your grip on your skirt. Were they really talking about you? The entire time Bokuto was walking you home, you were looking down and thought about all those comments that they made. Mean as they were, maybe they were right? You didn’t wear any jewelry. It would only get in the way. You don’t do your hair, but you didn’t think it was that messy. You liked it the way it was. No, you don’t wear makeup. Not only do you not have time in the morning, but you only use it for special occasions. Fat? Maybe you were putting on a few pounds, but you and Bokuto like to eat. It’s his fault that you look bigger than normal. Is this what people think about you? Is this was people say behind your back? You looked down at your stomach and held it shyly. Thinking about those comments just made you upset. But did Bokuto think that way? You look up at him and he’s all happy like normal. He hasn’t said that you should change anything, but maybe that’s just him being polite. But that was going to change.

After dropping you off, you went straight to your room and dug up everything you could find: makeup, clothes, jewelry, accessories, curling iron, straightener. You put everything on your counter and got to work. You were going to look pretty for once.

First, you applied your makeup. Dramatic or subtle? What do most of the girls wear at school? After a quick search, subtle it is. You admit, you weren’t the best at makeup, but it’s not like you’ve never put it on before. You just needed a little practice and this was a good opportunity. After maybe 30 minutes of applying what you thought looked like good makeup skills, you moved onto the hair. You tried something that you normally never do. Up or down? Curly or straight? Extensions or nah? God, so many options. So again, you looked at what the other girls were doing. Looking back in the mirror, you smiled at yourself. Not too bad, if you do say so yourself! You were going to wake up early tomorrow and do exactly this. Bokuto was in for a big surprise.

A big surprise, he was. Bokuto waited outside your house like he did every day. You were running a little late but he didn’t mind waiting.

“Sorry I’m late. I was doing something real quick!” you announced and presented yourself in front of your boyfriend. As soon as Bokuto laid eyes on you, he felt his heart fly out of his chest and then back again because he had to be alive to see how stunning you looked. His mouth flew open but he couldn’t form any words. His eyes grew as wide as saucers and looked up and down. He didn’t want this picture of you out of his mind.

As shocked as Bokuto was, you didn’t take his reaction the right way. Did he not like it? Why wasn’t he saying anything? You know that your look might be different than normal, but he acts like you’re a totally different person. The longer that he stared at you, the more ridiculous you looked. But what were you going to do now? It was too late to change and you were going to be late to school.

“Let’s go!” you urged, hooking your arms together and pulled him along to walk with you. You acted like his reaction didn’t affect you, but inside you were disappointed.

As the day went on, you couldn’t help but feel subconscious about your new look. Your friends said that they loved the new you, but Bokuto’s opinion mattered the most to you. Because you knew that he would tell you the truth no matter what.

In between classes, you look either go to the bathroom or look at your phone, wherever there was a mirror so that you could look at yourself. Your make up started melting and fading away, your hair wasn’t as kept like this morning. Slowly, your new look made you look like a clown. And the more you looked, the more you started to see your flaws. Now you could understand what those girls were saying. Fuck.

Tears welled in your eyes that you rubbed away the tears. But in the process of doing that, you wiped off the makeup that you forgot you had on, the makeup that took you so long to do. It all smeared across your eyes and that made you cry even more. Now you were forced to take your makeup off. You turned on the tap and rubbed all the foundation, the eye shadow, the blush, and the lipstick away. There, your ugly bare face was back.

Since you were doing that, might as well fix your hair. Pulling your hair all the way back, you put it into a bun. You stared at yourself in the mirror again. Homeless. Ugly. Bare faced. Fat. You could see it all. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks and you began to cry uncontrollably. God, you felt so embarrassed with yourself.

Bokuto immediately saw the difference in appearance when he saw you at the end of the day. Your shoulders were slouched over, your head was hung low, not to mention that your new look disappeared.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Bokuto said softly. “What happened to your new look?”

“Oh,” you jolted up. His concerned gaze made you feel uncomfortable and even more insecure about your looks. “It was bothering me, so I took it off.” You lied. And it was a good lie because he believed it without a second thought.

“If it bothers you, maybe you shouldn’t wear it to school,” Bokuto suggested. Oh, so he’s basically saying that you shouldn’t dress like that because he’s embarrassed by you. Your confidence levels just reached a new low.

“Yeah, I probably won’t,” you say discouraged and quickly walk away from him. Bokuto didn’t know what to say. Why did you look so sad?

The next day, you transitioned back into your normal outfit. You felt more comfortable but your body and the way you looked to other people was always in the back of your mind. You became so distracted by the idea that you began to distance yourself from the volleyball player.

You went to his practices but didn’t make yourself known anymore. Little by little each day, you let the fangirls take over. So he’ll spend most of his time with them instead of you. It was probably better like that anyway. The more you looked at them from afar, the more you could see the difference between you guys. You were just an ordinary student with an ordinary life with ordinary looks. There really wasn’t anything special about you. There wasn’t anything about you that stood out. Compared to these girls that were flocking all around your boyfriend? Beautiful girls. Their looks were out of this world. You could never compare to them. So why was Bokuto with you when he could have anyone he wanted? He was popular, athletic, goofy, strong. Every girl’s dream guy. It doesn’t make sense that you, a plain girl, was his girlfriend. A match that probably wasn’t meant to be.

Bokuto noticed that you were being distant. Eventually, you stopped going to his practices. Every day, he would look for you in the stands but you were never there. Whenever he has free time and wanted to spend it with you, you were also too busy or had some place to be. He never saw you anymore. You didn’t even want to walk to and from school together. He couldn’t fathom what he did wrong. He thought he treated you well. He thought that he did his best to show you that you mean so much to him. So what was going on?

Bokuto stopped by your house one day after practice because does not like how you were avoiding him. He was going to figure out what was wrong whether you continue to avoid him or not.

“Oh, is (y/n) home?” Bokuto asked your mother who opened the door instead of you. Strange, were you not home yet?

“Oh, Kotarou. No, she isn’t home yet. Would you like to wait inside? She should be home any minute now,” your mother informed, opening the door a little wider to let him in. He gladly accepted and stepped into your welcoming home. Your mother let Bokuto make himself at home and that is just what he did. He went to your room and waited for you there.

When you arrived home, you greeted your mother with a kiss on her cheek and headed for your room when your mom stopped you in your tracks.

“Oh, your boyfriend is waiting for you upstairs, dear,” your mother said. You completely froze. Your heart started to race and cold sweat ran down your back. Shit. What was he doing here? After all this time, you thought you were doing well by keeping your distance but now he shows up out of nowhere, catching you off guard. Reluctantly, you opened the door to your bedroom and sure enough, Bokuto was standing there not looking too happy.

“Kotarou,” you say but didn’t have a clue what to say after. What could you say?

“(y/n),” Bokuto sighs and walks to you. But you backup, making Bokuto frustrated. “What is going on with you? First, you don’t come to my practices. Then, you stop talking to me. You don’t even want to walk with me to school anymore. Did I do something wrong? Because if I did, just tell me so I can fix it.”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” you admit, but now Bokuto was confused.

“If I didn’t do anything, then why are you acting like towards me? Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Did I say something that hurt your feelings?”

“No.” Question after question, you kept saying no. Everything that he thought he did, you answered no. You weren’t giving him any information to help him understand what was going on. All you did was stand by the door, head down and you fiddled with your fingers. Bokuto was beyond frustrated. He put his hands on his waist and let out a deep sigh.

You couldn’t see him but you could definitely hear him and feel the ambiance in the room. He was upset at you. He had every right to. But now his reaction made you feel even worse about yourself that you just wanted to cuddle up in bed and literally just forget about everything. Maybe today was the today.

“If you’re so frustrated, why don’t you just break up with me?” you opened your mouth to say. Silence.

All of Bokuto’s anger and frustration dissipated and was replaced with hurt and betrayal. The moment those words left your mouth, his stomach dropped and the pain in his heart hit him so deep that he had to take a step back.

“Baby, why are you saying that?” his voice softens in the most pained toned you’ve ever heard. Guilt starts to eat at you for saying that, but cat’s out of the bag now. You don’t answer him and continue to stare down at your feet. He gets closer and you allow him to take your hands in his.

“I’m just trying to understand. Why are avoiding me? Why are you saying that we should break up?” he asks, trying to look you in the eyes. You shrug your shoulders but don’t say anything. But that’s okay because Bokuto was going to give you all the time in the world that you need to answer back. And it took you a long while before you should say anything.

“It’s because… I think you can find someone better,” you mumble in a whisper.

“Why do you think that?” Bokuto matches your tone. You shrug again.

“I don’t know. I see all those girls around you. And they’re all so pretty and thin. I’m nothing compared to them. And then I started thinking, and… you’re way out of my league. You could do so much better if you were with someone like-”

“Do you love me?” Bokuto cuts you off.

“Yeah,” you answer anyway. “But I don’t think we look good as a couple.”

“I don’t care what other people think. I love you and only you. I picked you. Every practice, every game, I’m looking for you. Whenever I see you, my day brightens up. When I see you, I feel like I can play my best. You are my strength and my motivation. You are the only one that sticks out in a crowd full of people. You’re perfect and don’t let those other people tell you otherwise.” Bokuto lifts your chin up so that you could tell that he meant every word. Your lower lip forms a pout and silent tears streaked your cheeks. His face softens at you. Gosh, even when you’re crying and snot is coming out of your nose, you’re still so cute to him.

“You really mean it?” you cry.

“Yes, you cry baby. Now come here,” he scoops you up and lays you on the bed to cuddle. “So don’t you ever say that to me again, or I’ll quit volleyball.” He threatens. Upon hearing that, you freak out and convince that he shouldn’t. He’s laughing out loud and kisses you all over.

“Ah, I love you too much,” he says content and you cuddle for the rest of the evening.

#bokuto imagine #bokuto x reader #bokuto kotartou #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #bokuto fluff #bokuto angst #haikyuu

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nctrsn20 · 3 years ago

Text

[just a heads up but trigger warning for the Dreamies + Shorato&Sungchan]

――

N-DREAM + THE ROOKIES

MARK LEE

POSITION ― Leader-Boss of DREAM, All Rounder

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― Strictly Unavailable [colleagues to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― PARIS ⤍ KOREA

I swear Mark is exactly like Peter Parker

now introducing the boss and leader of DREAM, Mark Lee

a young, handsome and polite man which all girls kind of having a thing for him (both in the mafia organization and in school)

but when it comes to work, he is a mixture of Kun and Taeyong

he is nice like Kun but he doesn't take bullshits just like Taeyong (and he gets pretty scary when his love ones especially his bestfriend are involved in his businesses - expect Mark not to be nice and probably knowing he is going to kill you by the end of the night)

very hard-working individual

he jumps from helping 127 and to be Dream's leader, basically helping the young ones and lead them - he HAS A LOT of plate to handle but he is lucky that he has Haechan to relate to

but there is someone he would easily get everything and anything out of his chest and that would be Mark's best friend and crush

she knows everything about Mark - vice versa and how did they know each other? well, they kind of met thanks to Lee Taeyong (you see, Mark's bestfriend is Taeyong's sister)

they met in Taeyong's company building where all 23 members work at and tbh it was iconic because she came in barging into the level where the 23 members located - that area is strictly prohibited to outsiders and ONLY a few staff could enter (and Mark plus some of the 127 members were there at that point of time and strangely they just asked Mark to lead her when he doesn't even know her, but it looks like the older members knew her because they kind of greeted her nicely and cutely which is rare to see the older ones do that)

and ofc gentleman+awkward Mark lead her to where Taeyong is and from there, Mark finds out that she is Taeyong's sister (Mark feels dumb but it's okay bcs she actually doesn't introduce herself as Taeyong's sister for safety reasons - it was weird for Mark, he kept on bumping onto her even when she visited Taeyong for both business purposes and for siblings time)

he also finds out that she went to to same college as him (as well as the other Dream members' partners, it was all a coincidence that Mark's crush is friends with the other Dream members' partners)

and because she is Taeyong's sister, she would always be invited to parties that are made by Taeyong or the other members. (in result all of them became friends and consider a family, she is even friends' with all 23 members' partners - she is a social butterfly)

whenever they are talking in the corner of the room, the older members would look at her and Mark - observing Mark from far and they kind of guessed that Mark somehow likes her, just seeing the way his body language shows

they are right, Mark indeed likes her ever since she kind of confronted Taeyong on giving Mark missions back to back (Mark finds out that it lead into a huge argument between her and Taeyong - actually everyone finds out they were screaming in Taeyong's office till Taeyong's girl and a few of the 127 members had to step in)

and let's just say Mark is a HUGE mess ever since he sees her as his crush (Haechan would always push him to confess to her but the leader would always stutter - like how can you easily shoot someone on the head but can't even say 3 simple words?)

HUANG RENJUN / HWANG INJOON

POSITION ― Sniper, [Main] Weapon Expertise

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― In A Relationship [high school friends to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

the weapon expertise and a skilled shooter that was acknowledged by Johnny

our Renjun has a tiny wincy incy bit of temper but is tolerable (usually Mark would easily calm him down but we ALL know who is the one who could just calm down his emotions with just showing herself up)

honestly, Renjun is mostly calm with the 23 members but when it's only the Dream members or they are in a meeting, in the end of the day he would either argue with Haechan or Mark about a mission or business

but when it involves physical fight (not with the Dream members though, they always have a soft spot no matter how things get tough), no one could stop Renjun other than his best friend

both of them are friends ever since high school and she was literally his ride or die friend which turned into his crush best friend (Renjun was known to be a tsundere in school and she was well, we will get to her story in her own part, a girl version of Lucas but she is more tone down and she dates the popular ones back in high school)

fast forward to college where all the Dream members attended (and so as their partners), she and Renjun as usual are close as ever not until she dated a guy that was lowkey rivals with Renjun - basically the Huangs'

it was obvious he dated her to get NCTs' information but here is the thing, she doesn't hang out in NCT's residence that much (due to her work and school stuff, she was somehow naïve)

fast forward Renjun and the rest of the members find out that the guy cheated on Renjun's best friend and things went down yall (Renjun got into a fist fight with him and ofc the Dreamies had to call her and that's when things literally went downhill)

she and Renjun got into a huge argument, it's just messy until Renjun couldn't take it anymore and literally shouted those 3 words which is 'I love you' and our homegirl is shook (and Renjun started avoiding her and she just went to NCT's residence crying after Mark and Haechan spill everything to her - Dream members couldn't take it anymore after seeing Renjun basically crying and just wasn't himself for a few weeks)

according to Mark and Haechan, Renjun told them that he has always like her every since high school and till now, his feelings never change - he likes how confident she is, how protective and caring she is (and to Renjun, the way she flirts with him was different from how she flirts with other guys) although she had did things that break his heart (dating others, basically seeing her in campus)

he really loves her that he would kill someone if they wants her head

and let's just say at the end of that day, our homeboy Renjun got a kiss that he always wanted, which was on the lips - and from there, both of them worked things out and now we have a bad-ass couple

LEE JENO

POSITION ― [High-Rank] Soldier, Hitman [hand to hand combat expertise]

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― In A Relationship [best friend to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

now let's welcome the hitman of the group, Lee Jeno

to be honest, he is considered an all-rounder BUT Taeyong acknowledges him to be a hitman after seeing him basically attacking and ending up killing one of Taeyong's enemies with just his bare-hands

mind-blowing because Jeno is the quietest and somehow calm and to know he could just kill someone with a pair of hands? damn

it was insane to see his duality that the 127 members could only look at Jeno with open mouth (they were shookth) and of course everyone knows not to make Jeno angry or being in his red list

one day, somehow rumors got into the kids in the mafia school that Jeno murdered someone and out of a sudden kids started to gang up on him

though mostly the Dream members as well as their partners back up Jeno (since Dream members know the exact story) and most of them were willing to get hurt just to protect their friend, but Jeno would tell them to stay out of it

but of course one wouldn't listen to him and let's welcome our savior of Jeno's life, his best friend aka his crush ever since they were in middle school

his crush is a sweet individual and most people were quite weirded out to see him getting along with her, both of their personalities kind of the opposite (they didn't know that the reason why they are able to be friends, much more than friends - best friends)

will explain more about his crush istg i love Jeno's girl Jeno secretly loves her bad-ass/aggressive side which was the day when sadly, his crush gets nearly expelled - so what had happened was Jeno got into a fist fight with a group of boys and there was a commotion obviously which lead Jeno's crush and her friends (which were Dream's partners) to the area

basically Jeno was being ganged up and beaten - her friends were shook that she decided to get involved which was rare and seeing how aggressive she got when she shove one of Jeno's attacker and started throwing out strong punches to the point when the boy screamed bloodily (and her friends had to hold her back, it was so sudden and frightening to see the look she gave)

and all of them was basically sent to the principal's office and let's just say Kun was being called too (he is the dean of the college they are attending) - and everyone receives punishment equally but the group of boys who gang up on Jeno were given much more heavier punishment

the next thing happen that made all of the Dream members step aside was hearing harsh words coming from Jeno as a result the two of them were shouting at each other in frustration until one of them accidentally said 'i love you'

but those words weren't coming form Jeno - it was from her (it was all a sudden but she meant it)

let's just say at the end of that argument, both of them shed more tears in each other arms and getting a kiss on the lips - and a full-time committed relationship

now knowing that jeno thought he knows her best friend-lover too well until he somehow figured out a secret that she has been keeping from him and everyone around her for too long

LEE DONGHYUCK / HAECHAN

POSITION ― [High-Rank] Soldier, All-Rounder

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― In A Relationship [acquaintances to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

the troublemaker and an all-round (just like Mark)

he and Mark runs from 127 to Dream back and forth and he is positioned to do all kinds of roles (sniper, assassin, hitman, decoy) according to Mark and Taeyong's instructions

very loud individual and you can hear him screaming or just talking in full-caps somewhere in NCT's residence (Taeyong, together with Kun and Mark actually made their own residence - combining three huge houses together as their home, a place for the ones who doesn't a place to live or when there are missions back to back so 127, WAYV and DREAM has their own houses but the fun part is that their houses is just the opposite of each other)

and interestingly all of sudden he became strangely quiet whenever a very familiar looking girl walks into NCT's residence together with the other older members along with their partner's

you see, Haechan has a huge crush on Jungwoo's and Jaemin's partner's sister and although they were in the same circle of friends, she and Haechan didn't talk much and that's because she is a busy girl while Haechan is too shy to make the first move

but all that shyness has to be put down when Taeyong gave Haechan work to do which was to become the bodyguard to her (apparently her sisters were in danger which lead to Haechan's crush being involve too)

basically they started talking and both were becoming more comfortable with each other that Haechan would always hangs out with her in school and be clingy to her and as usual being his usual loud self (and she is the only one who can keep up with Haechan's clinginess which the other members would call her if they couldn't handle him)

when Haechan started to realize he is in love or already fell for her is when he was summoned into the meeting room with 127 (and for the first time, Jungwoo wasn't there and that's because he was in another country, on a hide out with his girl), telling Haechan that a group of syndicate is trying to kill his crush's bloodline (apparently her family has a lot of hatred just because they have the most gold-basically-rich which is ridiculous)

so she was forced to stay in NCT's residence (together with her younger sister whom were just a few months younger which would be introduce as Jaemin's partner) and by then Haechan already confirmed his feelings for her after they kind of cuddled together as well as having the deep talk regarding her life and it's just different

and when Haechan thinks the situation was eased down and thinking that he could make his move, turns out it was the opposite of what he thinks - and to summarize, his crush end up being the hostage making ALL of NCT members' to move their feet after seeing Haechan basically turn into rage

Haechan was a mess alright, he was mad, frustrated, kind of pissed with himself and also scared (at the end of the day, he was the savior of the night - he was the one who personally took her out of the basement of where the syndicate lives)

the rest was history with interestingly her being the first one to confess to him and Haechan making the first move on kissing her right in front of the members (iconic)

NA JAEMIN

POSITION ― [High-Rank] Soldier, Hitman

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― Complicated [high school friends to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

the deadly cute hitman of the group (well Chenle, Jisung and Shotaro are cute but they are different type of cute)

while Jeno is more to a hand-to-hand hitman, Jaemin uses Renjun's newly made weapons on his targets (and again, Jeno and Jaemin are somehow soulmates - they work together, hangout together)

although Jeno is always with him, school somehow separated them since they were taking different subjects (this is in high-school) and that's how he gets to meet his crush, which is also a sister to Jungwoo's and Jeno's partner in a not-so-good situation

Jaemin is known to be that cute introvert individual who does his own thing and sadly, boys who had jealousy of Jaemin's good looks would find ways to tease him or just made fun of him (Jaemin would usually shrug them off and Jeno would always be the one to back him up)

until one day when Jaemin steps out of the school building and he was randomly pushed down and all he remember was huge throbbing on his head from being kicked and punched then hearing groans and yells from the boys before passing out

and when he woke-up kind-of, he saw blurry image of Taeyong, Jeno and a girl in a corner, he couldn't see her face clearly but all he could remember was she had a blonde hair and she was wearing a leather jacket (and he passed out again poor Jaemin he wasn't in a good condition)

Jaemin would return to school a few days later and strangely, there were new rumors regarding a girl, that was also mentioned with Jungwoo's and Jeno's partner's names, coming back and of course as a NCT member he put two and two together (she was the one who save him and she is the sister to both of Jungwoo's and Jeno's partner and they are known to be well-known in their own ways, especially the youngest one. it would be explain in her own profile/moodboard)

honestly during lunchtime, they would make a few eye-contact from far. Jaemin as usual with Jeno and the Dream members while she was in her own clique (this is before she joined Elinovas Angel, she had her own clique in high school)

the reason why Dream members didn't approach her nor her clique or herself is because both groups are kind of rivals secretly (but all of them are chill though and THAT IS BECAUSE of her saving one of the Dream members so it's a win-win situation)

the first time Jaemin approach her was when she was just minding her own business in the cafeteria, sitting alone, reading a paper while munching an apple (apparently the way Jaemin approach kind of her made her choke slightly, causing her to almost fell from her back and that's when Jaemin perfectly caught her, IN his arms all of a sudden it's like a k-drama or something) let's just say they were lost in each others eyes with her basically yeeting out of his arms with a flushed face

THAT was the moment when they kind of were attracted of each other

the rest of high school days were actually pretty memorable because he actually made friends with her BUT in secret , thanks to Taeyong and the older member's parties, Jaemin had his chance to make her trust him as they had this cute bond with each other since she attended the events as a sister to Jungwoo's and Jeno's partners (Jaemin already consider her as his best friend maybe more than that, he is still confused with his own feelings)

but things started to get out of hand nearly graduation when all of a sudden Jaemin and Dream members were being approached by her clique, needing Jaemin's help that one of their members which was Jaemin's best friend/crush was being held hostage (and everyone was shocked to see how Jaemin's face turned from normal to rage - he literally ran out of the school compound)

within an hour with Jaemin rushing to Taeyong and getting the information he needs, Jaemin founds her and he was horrified after seeing her body literally laying on the basement and she looked like she was beaten (Jaemin was crying when he was driving his way to NCT's residence - everyone was shook to see him cry because in every missions they did, he had never show his vulnerable side, this was the first and it isn't even a mission tbh)

he would stay by her side - he even neglected his own daily needs. he wouldn't leave her side even when the Dream members or the older members would softly ask him to eat or take a rest. that was the moment when everyone figured out that Jaemin loves her (it was obvious with the way Jaemin looked at her sleeping face - and deep down, Jaemin even knows he care for her, adored her and love her)

ZHONG CHENLE

POSITION ― [High-Rank] Tech Specialist

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― Complicated [high school friends to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ― Felix Lee (Stray Kids)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

the cute and sassy tech specialist

if Jeno and Jaemin are a pair, Chenle is with Jisung (the two youngest were assigned to be the tech specialist, at the same time the main guards of NCT's residence so they are always in front of multiple PCs' and they are the ones who would accept outsiders in - that's how much Taeyong trust the youngests)

Chenle loves his job tbh that's because he get to plan out booby-traps for unwelcome visitors and most of them would be killed instantly by Chenle and Jisung's booby-traps (the older members were shookth to see a few dead bodies in front of their main door - and they found out Chenle and Jisung had used Yangyang's poison air-gas and somehow put them in balloons)

being tech specialist, he rarely comes out to do missions since Taeyong doesn't allow him and Jisung too - but when Taeyong or Mark really needs a last minute back-up, that would be Chenle (the young one has his own back-up team)

until one day, a unfamiliar girl and obviously unwelcomed ran into NCT's residence - there are multiple CCTV's in their residence (they could even see what's going on WAYV and 127 residence) and it was weird to Chenle because he couldn't recognize her since he knows everyone who is somehow friends and are associates to the 23 members

so instead of as usual activating the booby-traps, Chenle's guts tell him to go out there personally armed with a gun and asking Jisung to keep a watch out and in the end his guts were right (it was Winwin's younger sister whom Winwin himself didn't talk much since she is always abroad and she looked pretty terrified)

now the thing about Chenle is he isn't too friendly with people he doesn't know EVEN though they are friend with the other members (except for the Elinovas Angels, Chenle really really treats them like his own guardian/older sisters) but strangely, he didn't know why he has this feeling of wanting to protect her - seeing how fragile she look at that exact moment (dude Chenle was concern, she looked like she was crying on the way here and he actually guided her to WAYV's residence since she barged into DREAM's)

and after that night, Chenle strangely kept thinking of her and in result of him asking Winwin what is going on and he was shook to find out his biological sister was about to be in a arranged married with a psychopath and an abuser (and without thinking Chenle started to give out plans and he didn't realise Winwin was shook to hear how concern he is because Chenle IS NEVER to be the one to get in others business)

Winwin being the good older brother actually listens to Chenle and one was to ask her to stay in NCT's residence and to ask her to enroll into where Dream members are currently studying in which was Kun's college (eventually she enrolled and all of the Dream's partners' are sweet enough to greet her, making her comfortable as she joins the group and eventually Elinovas Angels)

everyday, Chenle sticks to her and both of them are already comfortable with each other, not knowing what was about to come in the future

and one frightening day, Chenle receives a hand-written letter from her and he came running almost crying to Winwin about what was written - he was shocked and hurt that she decided to surrender after receiving threats regarding to attack NCT's residence and Taeyong's company building (what he didn't tell Winwin is that she actually wrote a separate letter for Chenle, confessing that she actually fell for him - he was nice, patient and just his own self unlike other mafia man she knows. she also revealed that if she stayed longer, she would fall completely for Chenle)

that part actually made Chenle hurt the most, he could just cry on the spot but his mind was much faster to run to Winwin to save her from doing something stupid (which was marrying that bastard)

for the first time, out of all missions, he decided to personally rescue her along with WAYV members

iconic and everyone sees Chenle's protective and loving side, he is lowkey to his own members but for the first time, everyone could see his vulnerable side openly (and expect to see Chenle calming the almost raging Winwin and his sister who almost gonna cry and that made Chenle kind of more protective)

PARK JISUNG

POSITION ― [High-Rank] Tech Specialist

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― Strictly Unavailable [childhood friends to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

another cute tech specialist but Jisung is somewhat an angel while Chenle is the devil ajaja

an introvert so Taeyong decided to put him as the tech specialist, together with Chenle (and Taeyong sees Jisung as someone who is still a minor and although this organization is ruthless, Taeyong still cares for the young ones and wants them to be ready when they know they are ready themselves)

everyone babies him tbh and they are protective of him

even his own childhood best friend whom is a younger sister to Lucas, is protective of Jisung

this two are always together - yes, even when they are babies that's because both of their family are friends, close friends

and both Jisung's and his childhood friend's families are known for their own reputation (Jisung's would be having scary parents and hers would be having rich parents)

until one day during middle school, she approached Jisung with tears running down her cheeks - telling him that she had to go, which was to move out since something went wrong within her family business

you see middle school Jisung is different than the now!Jisung, he was happy back then, kind of cheerful although no one wants to befriend him and that's because of his childhood bff (she was always there for him, she went to his soccer tournament, she even attended all of his birthday parties)

Jisung didn't have the time to be shock nor surprised because it was that day itself where his best friend has to go (so throughout the day of his best friend's last day of school, he was being extra clingy with her, accompanying her everywhere)

he decided to follow her all the way to the airport, not surprised when his family was there too to bid their goodbyes' (kind of felt betrayed that they didn't tell him but ofc he didn't care for now since his main focus is his bff)

and everyone is shookth to see Jisung crying while hugging his bff and ofc she had to be the positive one, patting the boy's back - saying she would be back (but both of them know that isn't the case)

fast forward to 4 years later, Jisung meets her at the high school he attended along with some of the Dream members but surprisingly, she was with Lucas (he was again shook because he didn't know at that time that they were siblings and again, he felt betrayed but again that didn't matter)

Jisung didn't approach her though, that's because he didn't know what to feel (during that 4 years without being with each other, Jisung somehow went through the phase of being alone and at some point and as a result, he learn to be independent - and that's how he joined NCT)

until 2 days later where NCT and their partners' were invited for Taeyong's annual party and all of the members' siblings were invited - and from the corner, Jisung saw her along with Lucas (of course some of the Dream members have to call Jisung since the boy wasn't too attentive and Jisung swore that she looked like she didn't want to be there)

and he was right, Jisung followed her quietly - seeing her going to the swimming pool, sitting down on the edge while soaking her feet (the members encourage him to go to her though, and Jisung didn't waste any time to approach her)

the moment he said his first words and locking his eyes with hers, he was stunned on how beautiful she looks - the dim lights in the corners of the pool reflect through the water and to her (let's just say Jisung found out what had happened to her during the 4 years and he didn't know she suffered too - and they ended that conversation with an apology towards each other and hugs of comfort)

since then and fast forward to college, they were as close as ever and at some point, Jisung learnt that his best friend changed slightly (at one time, a group of boys somehow decided to tease him and she decided to step forwards and again Jisung is stunned to see that his best friend know how to fight)

and at one point of time, Jisung realizes that he is falling for his best friend when a boy in school approaches her to get her number but in the end he didn't get one (that's because she likes Jisung too hehe)

THE EXCELLENT ROOKIES

OSAKI SHOTARO

POSITION ― Rookie Tech Specialist

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― Unavailable but In Love, Deeply [best friends to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

1/2 of the A star rookies that was voted by the leaders of all 3 groups

he looks like an angel but he is more than that

he is actually good at hacking and so Taeyong decided to put him under Chenle and Jisung's care (although he is older than them, but Chenle and Jisung are more experienced)

we would wonder how Shotaro joined NCT? it was actually through his parents (unfortunately through a saddened incident of a syndicate barging into Osakis' residence, they were almost slaughtered but it was actually thanks to Yuta that they were saved - the NCT member was close with Shotaro so they keep tabs with each other)

his parents entrusted NCT on taking care of Shotaro (and since then Shotaro lives with the Dream members. he learns how to be independent with the help of the NCT members)

and with that he is immediately enrolled to schools that Kun owns (he had attended high school which when he met his now best friend)

he is a shy bub and at that time, he was already somehow a member of NCT (all rookies in NCT will definitely end up as a NCT member, and as usual all NCT members will gain huge attention in schools)

everyone was gossiping about a cute guy that looked like an otter joining the school and stuff and so Shotaro was being seen in the hallways (all girls adore him tbh, he is the only member who looks endearing - even when he doesn't smile)

Shotaro was so committed to school that he joined a club which was the basketball club ! (honestly the basketball club was shook and excited that they have a NCT member and all of them were nice and supportive guys which were rare to find)

and the cheerleaders room and basketball room is just 2 doors away from each other - guess who met one of the well-known cheerleader, yes our otter cheerleader

so what had happened was Shotaro and the boys were leaving to grab drinks and coincidentally, the door of the cheerleaders' room opens abruptly with one of the members exiting the room with her phone on her hand (and guess WHO accidentally bumped into her, yes Shotaro)

followed by hearing deep gasps and the sound of a phone crashing down on the floor, silence decided to cover the area and the first one to move is Shotaro to gather the broken phone while apologizing to her numerously (and what made Shotaro widen his eyes was hearing her answer which was "it's okay, well, at least i get to avoid my annoying older brother. don't worry the damage will be on me though")

and with that, she left quickly and the boys started started to ask Shotaro if he was okay or did she just threaten him and ofc Shotaro was confused on who they were talking about (then Shotaro was being told that she was actually NCT Johnny's adopted younger sister and they kind of had a fall out and stuff - there were rumors about her that she was being adopted and it was sad she had to find out by the rumors itself)

her face and her impression kind of stuck onto his mind that Shotaro couldn't help but steal glances towards her whenever he saw her in the hallway or during lunch (basically a tsundere to him)

according to Shotaro's point of view, she would always be seen with her own clique, in the middle of the girls who were gossiping while she was on the phone looking unbothered at the same time answering her friends (and somehow they both caught each other's eyes that Shotaro froze and as for her, she slight smiled at him before looking away *cue Shotaro panicking and feeling butterflies on his stomach*)

the next moment they met was at Taeil's party and as usual everyone was invited, which includes Shotaro - and when he arrived, guess who saw the girl looking grumpy as she followed her tall older brother? Shotaro of course (she doesn't look impressed at all as she follows her older brother as he was talking to his own friends - and at one time she slips off as she wander around)

and while Shotaro wanders to find the Dream members and her walking off making small talks with Dream members' partners, they again bumped into each other but this time she was about to fall by her back and Shotaro who has fast reflex caught her by her sides (that's when they had a FACE TO FACE eye contact and not wanting the situation to be an awkward one, she started the conversation first which lead them to exchange numbers)

which just an exchange of phone numbers, both of them became close which means they kind of know each others' habits and because she trusted Shotaro, she even told him her secrets - well not a secret since everyone found out from a rumor (Shotaro remembered that she called him in the middle of the night, as she was crying and being the gentleman he is, he came to her and they just sat on the stairs right outside of Dream's residence)

their friendship kind of grew from there till they graduate and attending the same college as the other Dream members (and of course they are accepted in the Dream clique since they know each other through the other members)

and Shotaro is slowly falling for her and everyone knows that especially the members - with how he looks at her and how he just communicates with her, he thinks he knows everything about her but there is just one secret he didn't know about her which will one day save Shotaro's life (will be revealed in her own profile)

JUNG SUNGCHAN

POSITION ― Rookie Sniper

RELATIONSHIP STATUS ― Complicated [childhood friends to lovers]

IMPORTANT SIBLING(S)/RELATIVE(S) ―

IMPORTANT FRIEND ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

another A star rookie that picked by the 3 leaders

kind of opposite with Shotaro tbh

he doesn't look like an angel and he isn't an angel due to his tragic past

though he was chosen because of his skills and abilities which is a sniper, Taeyong actually found him walking mindlessly on the street

was it a coincidence? well kind of. Taeyong was actually on his way to personally kill his parents for what they did to innocent people and seeing their son walking mindlessly with blood stains on his clothes, kind of coincidence isn't it?

so Taeyong kind of took him and that's when the mafia leader knew the kid somehow just found out the truth on what his parents did and he was ashamed tbh (ofc who wouldn't be ashamed finding out your parents kidnapped children, trained them to become weapons and somehow tortured them in the middle)

and that was like 5 years ago and a year passed, Sungchan lives in NCT Dream's residence at the same time attending high school along with the other Dream members

and one fine day, his class was introduced to a new classmate and Sungchan's eyes widened as soon as he recognized that stone-cold face and his classmates were definitely a positive kind of bunch as they excitedly say their 'hi's and hello's with excitement (Sungchan was the only one who didn't say his 'hi's and 'hello's, he was froze on his seat realizing that girl is his long-time childhood friend)

one thing that Sungchan loves about his childhood which he would always hold onto that whenever someone ask him regarding his childhood was actually play-dates with his childhood friend (whom is a younger sister to Taeil's wife and to Got7's leader, Lim Jaebeom)

his parents were somehow friends with hers and that's how the play-dates started, hence they attended the same middle school (both of them were the innocent ones when it comes to their parents' works but she was smart to find out things since her parents' were assassins)

and with Sungchan escaping from his house after sneaking and hearing their conversation, and he got caught by his parents' men in result of Sungchan getting physical by stabbing them, hence he out of nowhere cut off contact with his childhood friend

Sungchan knew she still recognize him after seeing her face grew more cold, after making a 2 second eye contact as she turned away to find her seat and through-out the day, she didn't even approach him instead she just walked passed him - and that went on for a month

until he decided to approach and let's just say it didn't go well in the middle - with him grabbing her arm since she just ignore him and them basically yelling at each other but what made Sungchan stop on the 'yelling competition' is seeing her tears finally falling and in result of Sungchan crying too after hearing her confessing what she felt for the passed few years without him

and so 2 childhood friends were reunited and one fine day as they were enjoying lunch in school, all hell break loose after hearing non-stop gunshots then seeing a notorious faces of syndicates that Sungchan knew (and strangely before Sungchan decided to make his move, his childhood friend was fast enough to hold onto his hand as they make a run for it)

they were smart to realize that those men were actually after Sungchan and Sungchan couldn't even process everything that day as he only remembered arriving to NCT's residence with all of the members basically running around (basically 127 and WAYV trying to calm down the panicked Kun at the same time worrying for Sungchan and Dream members worrying for Sungchan and his friend)

a few days later, Sungchan was acting weird towards her - avoiding her at the same time not replying to her texts which made her super annoyed, that one fine Saturday night, there was a loud knocks on Dream's residence door and poor Shotaro opens the door to see her raging and wanting to talk to Sungchan who was busy playing FIFA with Jisung and Chenle on the 2nd level

sweet Shotaro guided her and the atmosphere grew tense after Jisung see Sungchan's friend standing with cold glares towards Sungchan and ofc Jisung had to nudge on Chenle and he had to nudge onto Sungchan (honestly it's comedy peak) and ofc ChenJi had to escape from that suffocating atmosphere

Sungchan knew at that moment he was going to have another 'yelling competition' but instead she just sat beside Sungchan quietly and said "please don't do that, I already lost a few people that I love. you are the last person that I don't want to lose."

and they cried in each other's' arms again after finding out the truth about what happened to her family and Sungchan found out that she knew what had happened to him back then (and so much more that Sungchan wanted her to join NCT but she can't because of Taeyong agreeing with Jaebeom on business related stuff and weirdly about her too)

so from that moment onwards till college, there were no secrets between her and Sungchan and they continue to become that type of bestfriends with Sungchan asking her to come to parties or events that the members could invite someone and she would constantly had to remind him that his older sister is married to the oldest member in NCT and of course she has to come

but there was something that Sungchan couldn't tell her face to face and he had no choice to make it as a secret - and that would be confessing to her about his feelings (which was liking her ever since they were in middle school and falling in love with her in the present time)

[ MASTERLIST ]

[ N-DREAM'S SOULMATES ]

[ N-127 MOODBOARDS ] - [ 127'S SOULMATES ]

[ N-WAYV MOODBOARDS ] - [ N-WAYV's SOULMATES ]

#nct dream mafia au #nct shotaro mafia au #nct sungchan mafia au #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct shotaro scenarios #nct sungchan scenarios #nct shotaro imagines #nct sungchan imagines

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ven-finn · 4 years ago

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May I have the Hiccup is autistic info dump please? As a treat?

OK OK LETS GO!!! I’m going to put this under the cut because it’s really long, and I’m not gonna apologize for that, since yall asked.

First off it’s like: everyone on the spectrum is different so I understand that another autistic person might have a completely different take here or not see what I see in how I relate to Hiccup. But that’s exactly why I think he’s neurodivergent !!! For the most part a lot of my headcanon comes down the the base text in the trilogy.

We’ve got the in canon, outright shit that is:

-He starts off as an outcast for explicitly being ‘different.’ All the other vikings are constantly talking about his different way of thinking and a different way of interacting to the world around him and their inability to understand them socially isolates Hiccup. He’s been noticeably the odd one out from day one, even if no one can name why!!! God!! Felt that little man!!!!!

-And Hiccup spends nearly every day focused on dragons, and consumes the handbook for it all in one sitting researching the night fury. Then when he’s not working on understanding the dragons and taking note of what Toothless reacts to, he’s engineering different mechanisms to fly with Toothless.

-He fidgets constantly, and seems to have a hard time looking at people when he’s talking. I love the gifsets where people are showcasing all of his hand flailing and talk about how endearing it is in the tags. It makes me feel better about my own stimming. There’s also like... the entire opening conversation w Astrid from 2 that’s like “I don’t move like that” “you just did!” and I love it so much. A lot of the mannerisms I know were probably thrown in as animation dramatics but they are *my* mannerisms on screen so autism be upon ye, Hiccup.

-and when he’s talking he’s mouthy and often doesn’t realize he’s said the wrong thing until it’s too late! one of my favorite parts of httyd2 is when Hiccup is going on a tangent to Valka about ‘hey everythings gonna be great you can come back home and drago’s a nonissue and and and!’ and its a bit overbearing and Stoick literally has to say “slow down” so Hiccup can give Valka some breathing room. It’s like oh hey I’ve done exactly that before. (and I also hc Astrid as having ASD bc to me it makes their initial conflict all that more interesting and funny to me. Astrid’s like ‘hey wait don’t go against the social rules I memorized i worked very hard to be this socially competent’ and Hiccup stomps on that and is like “what?” It’s why their bond throughout the trilogy gets me so hard like we love to see two trans autistic vikings in love and winning.)

-On the topic of his social skills, it’s the way he explains things to other people too that reads as autistic to me. He doesn’t go out of his way to verbalize most of his affection for dragons or why he thinks other people should understand. He just taps Toothless’ head and is like ‘I can show you’ through the act of riding itself. It’s either that or he goes on longwinded rants that he himself struggles to follow, so he relies on the former more frequently.

And guess what his pattern-tapping and his unique abilities end up setting him apart from others but it’s also what brings dragons and vikings together!! It is a good thing!!! No one else can think like he does and maybe they don’t have to but the world is better for him existing in it!! What a wonderful story!!! A story that becomes stronger for me when I put in the lense of “not only does this autistic character not have to grow out of his own skin to be accepted, his neurodivergent traits are what make him brilliant, what make him so in tune with dragons!” and not in the like. gross autistic savant or hollywood autism trope u see in shit like Hannibal or Sherlock. Hiccup is just some guy, but he’s just some autistic guy, who can do great things! don’t get why autistic cis men will tell u our only icons are like. Rorschach and Rick Sanchez when Hiccup is literally right there/hj.

This is more sub textual than the rest of my points but there’s the aspect of Hiccup’s focus on *specifically* animals. It’s a common early special interest for plenty of autistics. Fun fact is the creator of pokemon, Satoshi Tajiri, was autistic and had a special interest on bugs-his love for them is partly why Pokemon exists! And My own animal special interests were elephants, pandas, and cats. It was such a big thing for me that still, every year for my birthday people still get me plushies of them. I was 6 when Httyd1 came out, but I watched it like. Religiously. And less so for any of the characters or story but because I adored Toothless, who I knew was based off of a cat without having to be told. So Hiccup being so quickly dedicated to this dragon... :) yeah. He understands dragons so much more than he understands people and Toothless and the rest seem to comfort him because being with the dragons forgoes stressful human conversation for just being content to be!! what a story!! what a grand thing!!

tldr: hiccup stims a lot, has clear moments of hyper-focus and special interest, and his social skills are parallel to my own. To me, his most base story reads as an autistic story.

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tooruluv · 4 years ago

Text

Tooru Oikawa x F!Reader ( part 6 )

❝ my love for him is much like winter, a skeleton for the world to see. too bad he never liked the cold. ❞

description: being the neighbor and lifelong best friend of tooru oikawa definitely had it’s perks. you were never an outcast, always had a seat at lunch, got into volleyball games for free. the problem was, however, that being in love with him outweighed those perks. you would never tell him that, though, even if it hurt like hell.

genre: best friends to lovers, angst, unrequited love, fluff if you squint hard enough

word count: 2,182

warnings/notes: didn’t know yall were SIMPS for kuroo... anyway here’s more angst for y’all

tag list: @afuckingunicornn @maii-flowers @clandestinerays @brownandchill @readeretal @wedojustbevibin @shigarakiskitten @shittykawaa @saeranoppa @srirachibi

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“I brought the good nacho popcorn seasoning!” Kuroo told you as he rummaged around inside of his bag.

Tetsurou Kuroo had become a close friend in a short amount of time (it seems as though that was something happening to you often, these days). The “mall date” was full of conversation and laughter. You found out he was an only child, played volleyball himself and went to some camp, that he’s never had a girlfriend, and that he’s actually very funny. He grew on you.

You both sat on the couch, claiming it from your parents as you usually do on Saturday nights. This time, it was just with a different boy. Your parents didn’t mind.

Kuroo tossed the bottle to you once he found it. You caught it, and immediately started to pour it into the bowl that was full of popcorn and m&m’s.

Not too long after, the both of you had a scary movie on. You both sat on the couch, the bowl on the table in front of you. He sat with one leg tucked under his outstretched one, his arms crossed into his hoodie pockets. You sat next to him, a couple inches between so you don’t rub your leg against his. Your legs were brought to your chest.

“Are you cold?” Kuroo asked you, leaning forward to get a better look at your face.

“Just a little.”

Before you could protest, he took his hoodie off and held it out for you. You were about to deny his offer when he decided to lean back and literally shove the thing onto your head.

You were giggling when you pulled your arms through. “Thank you, but I could’ve just grabbed a blanket.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” He turned his attention back to the TV. Was that a blush? “You look good in red.”

You couldn’t help but smile. You moved closer to him, your body flush with his. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, something you hadn’t felt in a minute, and both of you smiled as someone got killed on screen.

Tooru Oikawa had always been your safety net. He was the one you went to for absolutely everything, even if it was a minor inconvenience. He was the one you called if you were lost, the one you exchanged looks with when the teacher would say something that could be passed as an innuendo, the one you would go to if you had a splinter or broken nail. And that safety would go both ways.

He would always show up in the middle of the night, or ask you to join him on the occasional Monday for you to watch him practice when he’s supposed to have the day off, or even facetime you just because.

Yet, this time, when you received a very drunk call from Oikawa, it didn’t feel normal.

You missed the call (it was at five in the morning), but you were left a very long voicemail from the boy.

“Nut!~” He slurred into the phone, basically directly onto the speaker. “Hello love. Hi. I drank a lot tonight. By myself. Very good. I should do this more often.”

You smiled to yourself. Oikawa hated being drunk, he would always make a point to never drink whenever he had the opportunity to. It was cute, the slurred and soft-spoken version of Oikawa you were receiving.

“I just wanted to say. I miss you. A lot. That’s why I came over the other day. I have so much I want to tell you but I…” Something muffled the speaker, and you couldn’t hear what exactly he was saying after that. Until, “Yeah, I just miss you a lot. I sleep now.”

You listened to it again.

Iwaizumi sent you a text Sunday. You were at dinner with your parents, out at some restaurant for the night. You went to the bathroom to read it (your parents had a rule: no phones at the dinner table if you’re eating as a family).

“I told my parents.” It said.

“You don’t drink.” You said to Oikawa Monday morning. You didn’t look at him, both of you at your lockers. He sent you a look.

“I don’t drink.” He repeated.

You finally shut your locker and looked up at him. The first time in a long time that you were talking. He seemed taller, thinner.

“Why were you drunk this weekend?”

Oikawa’s eyes wouldn’t meet yours. He shook his head. “I wasn’t.”

“You’re lying to me now?”

He shut his locker and started to walk down the hall. Before he could get far, you stepped in front of him and cut him off. He stopped.

“I got a voicemail from you.” You told him, and his eyes shot to yours. “I miss you, too. I don’t know why you won’t talk to me, but I miss you too.”

For a moment, it was just the both of you standing alone in the hallway. Like nothing else really mattered. He was finding the right words to say, and you waited for him to reply. Your chest was aching, and you wanted to throw the word “love” at him right then.

“I…I miss you a lot.” He finally said. You held back a smile. “But, um, can we talk? Later?”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” You were too eager, you knew. “We can talk later.”

Oikawa sent you a smile, something you missed, and your eyes found his tie. Before thinking, you reached up to tighten it. He chuckled.

“Yeah, I can’t fucking get this shit right.” He told you, letting you bring him closer to push it up. “Sana’s been fixing it at breakfast but I was running late this morning so we didn’t go.”

“Good thing I’m always here, huh?”

You walked next to Iwaizumi and Matsukawa on the way to lunch (the library). They were holding hands, openly smiling and giggling and being gay. You loved it.

“What was it like?” You asked them as you sat at the usual table.

“When I told my mom that I liked guys and I think I’m bisexual, do you want to know what she said?” Iwaizumi asked you. You nodded. “She said, and I quote, “well I can’t blame you, I like guys too”. I was so nervous for nothing. My dad even told me that it was okay and he’s fine with it as long as I’m happy, he just didn’t want to hear the details.”

“Your mom is iconic.”

Tooru Oikawa was not someone who could hide in a crowd. You could always pick him out of everyone, always spot him through the human traffic. It also helped that he was tall.

That being said, you found him instantly.

He wanted to meet at a park, as he was watching his nephew and his older brother was at work. You joined, of course, and you always found his nephew adorable.

You sat on the bench next to him. The very first time you have ever felt uncomfortable enough to sit further away from him. He noticed.

“We almost kissed.” He finally said, eyes following his nephew on the playset. He seemed tense, back straight and hands clasped together.

“Yeah.” You twisted your fingers in your lap. “Almost.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” You were forgiven weeks ago.

“I do, though.” Oikawa finally looked at you. “I almost kissed you when I just became official with Sana the night before. I shouldn’t have done that. And I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t upset about you almost kissing me.” You told him, staring at him. “I was never mad at that. It’s you ignoring me and avoiding me like the plague that I don’t particularly enjoy.”

“Right.” He bit the inside of his mouth. “I just…I couldn’t really…I felt really guilty. Having enough feelings to kiss you, but standing hand in hand with Sana. I haven’t told her about it.”

“I haven’t either.”

“Yeah, you two are close.”

“She’s very nice, and good company.” You told him. “You chose a good one.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

He blinked a couple of times, like his eyes would fix what he heard. “What are you apologizing for?”

“Everything. Me and Iwa talked some shit about you.”

“I’m not surprised, I’ve been acting like a dick.”

“Ah, we prefer the word asshole.”

You both chuckled, and you ducked your head. His eyes were back on his nephew, who waved at you both from the top of the castle.

“Listen, I’m not going to push you to be my friend again.” You said. “If I make you uncomfortable or make you question your relationship, I’m not going to be mad at you.”

“Be your friend again.” He mumbled, shaking his head like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “I never considered us not being friends. And you would never make me uncomfortable, ever. I just…”

“I know.” You stood up. His eyes jumped to you, head tilting up. “Let me know when you figure out whatever you need to figure out. Until then, I’m still right next door and a drunk call away.”

His mouth gaped as if you offended him, but there was a smile behind it. “God damn it, nut, just delete the voicemail!”

“No, I think I’ll keep it.” You brought your phone out and played it. His drunken slur came over the speakers. “Nut! Hello love. Hi!” you mocked him as his voice played.

Oikawa stood up, face red. “Oh my god! Stop! That’s embarrassing!”

He chased you as you continued to mimic him over the voicemail. You didn’t know every word, of course, but you knew when he was going to say certain things. You laughed as he chased you onto the playground.

“Takeru! Help!” you called, holding the phone up so Oikawa couldn’t get it.

“No, Takeru!” he called for his nephew. “Give me the phone, she’s a traitor!”

“Nice try, Uncle.” Takeru grabbed your phone and shook it from his spot on the very top. “She already told me that you were the spy for the English. We must take you to jail! Thank you, Auntie, for the valuable information. We will promote you to Head Knight.”

You giggled at Oikawa’s surprised and embarrassed face. You mouthed “Head Knight” at him, pointing at yourself. He rolled his eyes, but kept smiling at you.

You wore Kuroo’s hoodie the next time you met up with him. A fun fact about Kuroo: the man loves coffee. So, you weren’t surprised when he asked to meet at a coffee shop around the corner from where you buy alcohol. You wonder what he would say if you told him about buying shit from there.

“Damn, that hoodie looks familiar.” He told you when you sat across from him.

“Yeah, it’s comfy.” You said, smiling. “A pretty cool dude let me borrow it.”

“Ah, he let you keep it.” He corrected, hands already around a warm cup of black coffee.

You raised a brow. “I guess I’ll keep it then.”

“So…” Sana threw a piece of candy into the air to catch in her mouth. “You and Kuroo?”

This time, it was Iwaizumi and Sana at your house. Your two best friends. It was a strange combo, to you, as you always separated them in your head. But they actually got along quite easily, immediately started to roast and complain about Oikawa.

The three of you were in your bedroom. You sat on your bed, Iwaizumi on the floor by the door, and Sana sat in your desk chair. You were playing a game: try to catch the candy in your mouth. So far, Iwaizumi was winning (he hadn’t missed a single one, even if your throws were trash).

“What about me and Kuroo?”

“Oh, come on,” Sana scoffed, shaking her head. “You have been spending a lot of time with him. Spill.”

“There’s nothing to spill.” You caught a piece she threw up for you. As you chewed, “We’re very good friends. He’s cool.”

“Alright that’s it. Who is it?”

“Who is what?” you blinked.

“The other boy.”

You gulped, looking quickly at Iwaizumi. He just looked at you, wide eyed and confused.

“You told me that you’ve had a thing for another boy for a long time but he doesn’t feel the same.” Sana continued, her attention fully on you. “And he’s obviously the reason that you’re not going for Kuroo. You’re in love with someone else, and you’re throwing away a perfectly good relationship with someone who actually likes you.” She leaned forward. “So, I’ll ask again. Who is the boy?”

You didn’t say anything, your silence the only answer you could give. Iwaizumi’s eyes went back and forth between you two, staying just as silent.

“Who is it?” Sana asked again, held tilted. When you looked at the floor, it was like a rush of realization dawned on her. The air turned tense, but not negative. Like you couldn’t breathe.

“Oh.”

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shijiujun · 4 years ago

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The Zhao Jing and Scorpy relationship is based on Sha Po Lang's ChangGu. The Yifu x adopted son dynamic. It's ok if it's only reference but unfortunately, it seems there are dialogues from SPL novel used for their lines in the drama. Isn't that almost plagiarism?

won’t be answering any more of these asks after this because i think i’ve made my stance quite clear in the previous ask :D but since you brought it up:

1. i’m not sure what you’ve been watching, but there are plenty of yifu - son relationships going around in plenty of wuxia shows, albeit nothing to suggest it is romantic. this yifu-son trope thing is NOT an exclusive trope to changgu, don’t be that person and start claiming that tropes/relationships mirror a particular danmei novel or any novel etc. or that in this case, spl frickin invented yifu-son romance (i mean we see more yifu-daughter maybe but that's because of the nature of the film industry)

my point is yifus are a THING in historical wuxias, any baidu page will tell you that if you simply google search - as are a lot of things you see in historical danmeis, i honestly cannot say with ANY certainty that any trope is unique

2. zhaoxie cp is a crack ship - the writer didn’t write it in a bromantic way - what do you mean it’s based on changgu? she didn’t intend for it to be romantic or construed as such, at the very least she never wrote a romantic line for these two. changgu is an actual ship and relationship

3. i made it very clear in the previous ask that:

(1) she probably knew that we were going to be able to see the lines and recognize them and i say this with certainty, scriptwriters, or at least this one is no dumb bij, and i doubt she thinks her fans are dumbasses either

(2) no dumbass would ‘steal’ iconic lines from recognizable works and feed it to an audience who is very familiar with the author’s works, and expect to get away with it

(3) she wasn’t expecting to ‘get away’ with ‘plagiarism’ exactly because she was paying homage to those works - the LOGIC of fucking plagiarism is that when i steal a line or steal a work or an artpiece i expect to get away with it because no one’s going to notice for whatever reason which brings me to the next point-

(4) she’s a dedicated priest fan who knows what she’s doing - she probably thought it was cute that she’s referencing other famous pipi works THAT ARE ACTUALLY coming out as live actions. think about it, if she was really gonna plagiarize i’d pick shan he biao li or like some other obscure works of pipi rather than the two that are literally JUST COMING up and are her two most popular works?

(5) she used luo yiguo and the ziliu jun thingy in the script which comes from both modu and spl - i don’t see ppl yelling about that either, we were more excited than not that there were priest easter eggs in the show, yeah maybe it would have helped smoothed things over if she went like oh yeah i dropped easter eggs in these rather than keeping quiet on it but ??? let the woman live

(6) it’s all priest works why the hell you guys having some internal war right now? are yall scared that shl/woh will ‘take away’ attention from the upcoming works etc. or doesn’t deserve its populariy? well news flash:

- its popularity didn’t increase JUST BECAUSE she put in some lines from other pipi works if that makes or breaks any sort of show a lot more shows will be a hell lot more successful if this is a formula for success

tldr - she’s tipping her hat off to other iconic works that are UPCOMING live actions in a cheeky manner. i don’t think she thinks the audience, who are priest fans, are dumbfucks who wouldn’t recognize lines from their fave other pipi works.

it’s all a bit of fun, and unless pipi steps up and goes, “yeah, the shan he ling scriptwriter stole lines from one of my works and put it in the very accurately presented live action of another work, which oh, happens to be mine as well!!!! and she should be shot for it” we should all just chill the hell out

do you see how ridiculous this sounds? why yall so hung up about this? just be happy that these three works got live actions, and shan he ling happens to be first and there will be added publicity for the shows after - i mean, you can’t blame the show for being broadcasted first lmao

#asks #shl #guys chill out #unless she goes yeah i plagiarized #my god that is so opposite the logic of plagiarism #i mean true ppl expect to get away with it #hoping ppl don't notice but #the audience isn't dumb #i'm sure she knows it too

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rhaenyraisadyke · 4 years ago

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This is an analysis of the last Clone Wars episode I wrote exactly a year ago today. I feel like sharing it because why not so tada.

I'm also kinda posting this for me so you seriously don't have to read it- unless you want to idk I can't exactly stop you. And if yall want more, I did them all on the last 8 episodes of the Clone Wars because I felt like it.

Victory and Death

Before you go through this. I just want to say that the Clone Wars and primarily Ahsoka have been in my life for as along as I can remember. I have grown up on this TV Show. So for it to finally get the ending it deserves, is in a way a dream come true. My heart and soul is poured into this show. But with the Clone Wars ending, I know this won’t be the last of Ahsoka.

* This opening music is called Victory and Death

* It’s very similar to the music played at Padmè’s funeral, I guess you could say its a reminder of what death is lurking.

* I’ve never seen such a crisp Venator class Star Destroyer.

* It’s so detailed and for that reason, its going to make this all hurt even more then it already will.

* We are back from where we were left off moments ago in Shattered.

* Ahsoka still doesn’t want to kill any of the clones. She knows they can’t control it, and she wants to be able to help them. Just like she did with Rex. Ahsoka and Rex are the only ones who know its not their fault.

* This isn’t her first rodeo, she dealt with a similar thing in brain invaders with the Genosians.

* Similar with the Brain invaders, she didn’t want to be the one to personally kill them.

* She knew they were willing to die if it meant she would be dead.

* She just couldn’t deal with the fact that she would have killed clones who chose to be with her. Who CHOSE to stand by her on this mission and serve with her against Maul on Mandalore. She knew just about every single one of the clone’s names. She took the time to acknowledge them all. And they all are ready to die because of her. So as the person Ahsoka is, to make that decision and refuse to kill them is untimely better then being the one to personally “pull the trigger”

* The reason why in Shattered that she killed a few of the troopers was because at the time she didn’t know they were unable to control their actions. She had no idea what was happening. She was in fight or flight mode.

* Watching Rex and Ahsoka go right into attack mode on their brothers is just brutal, but beautiful at the same time.

* Ahsoka is in a defensive position and guarding Rex with every move, while allowing Rex to be on the offense.

* I find it interesting about how Ahsoka doesn’t try to hide at all that she let Maul out.

* In reality it was either she let him out and create a diversion to survive or allow him to die and have every single clone looking for her. Although no answer is the right one, considering her odds, it was the only one left.

* The worst part about the entire clone wars, is that every character is always put in a situation where they have to compromise their morals for this war. No matter what side you were on in this war, you were sacrificing so much when none of it ever mattered in the end, because no one won.

* No matter what choice Ahsoka mode in that moment, she was stuck with the deaths of troopers on her hands, and there was nothing she could do about it. Because in the end, no one wins the clone wars.

* Maul is on another rampage and it’s terrifying

* He uses a 332nd HELMET AS A SHIELD

* He’s so incredibly powerful and it’s just crazy.

* I loved how the bridge looked when they came out of hyperspace. Really cinematic

* All of the lives Maul is taking is also taking a toll on Ahsoka. When she tells Rex she let him out, you can tell there’s a bit of guilt in there. She knows what Maul is capable of, and by Ahsoka letting him out. She’s allowing all of these clones to die. In the end it’s a fight for survival, and she’s doing everything she can to survive. So by allowing Maul do what he will do, it’s the best choice out of a really bad situation.

* The way the ship comes out of Hyperspace is insane.

* Knowing this ship is going to crash on this moon, and there’s nothing Ahsoka can do to save all of the clones is ripping her apart.

* In all of her life, she has only ever wanted to help people. But everyone on this ship wants to kill her, and yet she still wants to help. Knowing this ship is going down is terrifying for her because she can’t save them all.

* This is important because in the Martez sisters arc, Ahsoka learns what truly goes wrong when the people who need help most aren’t able to be helped.

* The Martez sisters taught her that everyone deserves a chance to be saved. Their parents should have been saved because that’s what a Jedi is supposed to do. They are supposed to save the people who need it most. Not catching criminals when they are interfering with a Jedi’s work.

* As the ship is getting into orbit, and becoming more and more destroyed, it just furthers the fact of how the clones are programed to purely just follow order 66.

* Their humanity is lost. Their worry for their lives is completely out the window.

* They don’t care that the ship is breaking apart around them.

* Every single clone is hyper focused to complete the mission, because in the end, good soldiers follow orders.

* All that the clones can think about and is programed to do, is to kill Ahsoka Tano.

* What makes this moment worse, is that Ahsoka doesn’t want to hurt them. She knows this isn’t really them.

* Rex on the other hand for the first time ever, has distanced himself from his brothers.

* Rex knows deep down that there’s no way to save them all. He knows threes nothing he can do about it, so for him to distance himself in the moment, is his best bet to survive.

* When Rex is trying to get Ahsoka to understand that she can’t save them all, he is wearing his helmet.

* That helmet is what the empire wanted

* They wanted the helmets to be a sign of emptiness and unable to show expression for what had to be done.

* Rex didn’t want Ahsoka to see his face because he was being emotional. It in a sense was a sign of weakness but in reality, the helmet was what separated him and the mind controlled clones.

* Under the helmet, Rex still had his humanity.

* Under the helmets of the other clones, they were just a blank slate, made to be destroyed.

* So when Rex cries and doesn’t look at Ahsoka in that moment. It’s because he wants to hide his humanity and not let it get in the way of getting the job done. Getting to safety.

* When Ahsoka says “While they may be willing to die. I will not be the one who is to kill them” It’s bittersweet. She knows they are beyond saving, but she knows that if she kills them, then she will have the blood on her hands of someone who was unable to control themselves and in a sense fight back.

* Rex just wants to do the right thing. And he knew what it was like being on the other side. To execute the order and to be completely okay with loosing his life for it.

* Rex just was so vulnerable in this moment, because he was completely helpless.

* When Rex goes into being defeated and everything, he is never one to back off and surrender, so for him to surrender, it’s just painful. By Rex surrendering to him, I think it means he failed Ahsoka, and in the last episode. Rex calling Ahsoka kid, his younger sister, for him to fail her, is something Rex would have never ever wanted to do.

* This moment, is very Anakin and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan did it at the battle of Christiopsis, and Anakin did it on Yerbana.

* The way every single one of the clones goes from at attention to aiming at Ahsoka and Rex is just terrifying. They are truly no longer human, and are droids.

* These soldiers who chose to be with Ahsoka on this ship, and chose to fight along side her at the Siege of Mandalore, are in the end wearing her markings and holding her at gunpoint.

* When Rex says the order was to execute the Jedi in all fairness its a fair point. She’s not a Jedi.

* But in the end, Ahsoka was an important person in Anakin’s life, so in order for her to not interfere with Sidious’s plans, she had to be eliminated.

* This whole scene with Rex and Jesse is just so heartbreaking because after everything Jesse went through, he still couldn’t catch a break

* Rex was most likely worried sick when he found out Maul took Jesse.

* Jesse was tortured by Maul and we all through something horrible was going to happen to him with Maul. The Satine and Obi-Wan scene was HUGLY paralleling the scene when Jesse goes back to Rex.

* But then when Rex thought him and Jesse would be finally okay, Order 66 happens.

* And Rex’s brother, one of his closest, turned on him.

* It’s such a bittersweet moment, because Rex is stalling, and him no longer being a commander is just iconic. He wanted to stay a captain so he could be on the front lines.

* In this moment, Vaders theme I think is slowed down.

* It’s such a tense moment with hundreds of clones ready to fire at Ahsoka and Rex, and with the ship going down too, the anxiety in both of Ahsoka and Rex is very prominent

* Ahsoka’s plan of dropping the clones under with the help of the droids is so smart. It allows her to have the upper hand while they recover.

* And even with hundreds of clones, she is still not wanting to kill a single one.

* Ahsoka is ready to kill Maul.

* She spared him and did what the council wanted. But now with for all Ahsoka knows the order crumbling in every moment, Maul is going to hinder her, and she can’t allow that.

* So when Maul says “You wanted this chaos” It’s brilliant because she really did, but because she could defeat Maul, she underestimated the clones potential to stop/kill him.

* I love how RG-G1 (the black and gold droid) almost laughed at the fact the clones were locked out of the control panel.

* Watching Maul start to get away and seeing how clone the ship was to the surface is terrifying. You know what is going to come, and although we know both Ahsoka and Rex’s fate, we are still on the edge of our seats.

* It’s such a Vader & Starkiller, Maybe even Rey moment, when Ahsoka is using the force to pull back the ship.

* It truly just shows how powerful she is.

* During the first battle of Felucia, after Ahsoka got carried away and realized that she was going to be overrun and as Anakin said “You just don’t see it yet”. Once they got back to the temple and go over what happened with the Jedi Council,

* Anakin talks about how he forgot how young Ahsoka was because of how powerful she is.

* From the beginning Ahsoka has always been powerful with the force.

* She was at first thought to be from Anakin himself, “aren’t you too young to be a padawan” which Ahsoka replies that “Master Yoda thinks I’m ready”

* This was just another moment that showed some of her true potential. Her power is the reason why she was assigned to Anakin and not to Obi-Wan. She needed someone as/more powerful than her to give her the best jedi training possible.

* Version of imperial march is there when Ahsoka is really starting to pull when Rex grabs onto Ahsoka.

* When she sees R7 get shot down, that loss hits, her hard and she loses focus for a second because this droid had been with her from the Battle of Ryloth, her first proper mission in a starfighter.

* Then when Rex gets shot, thats just when for her it clicks that she can’t lose anyone else.

* Up until this point She had lost Kalifa (Jedi Lost- Trandosion arc) Master Piell, Tryla (Carlac), Steela Gerrera, Barriss, Anakin, Plo, and everyone who lost faith in her for leaving the order.

* Rex was the only person that after everything, he refused to give up on her. He saw her for who she was, and not for being in the order, but as a person who fought alongside him in the Clone War.

* Rex was the last person Ahsoka had left, and so when he got shot, she couldn’t let him die in exchange for Maul.

* When we see Maul leave, the sight of how close the ship is to the surface is terrifying. They are running out of time, but Ahsoka can save her friend for the time being.

* Ahsoka isn’t breaking a sweat. She’s doing everything in her power to protect herself and Rex.

* Anakin taught her everything she needed to know to survive. “When I was out there, alone, all I had was your training and the lessons you taught me. And because of you, I did survive. And not only that, I was able to lead others to survive as well.” And she was able to allow Rex to survive.

* The way she cuts the ground to save both herself and Rex is genius. They can’t go up so they might as well go down.

* It’s very much an Anakin moment with her not telling Rex what she Is going to do.

* As Rex and Ahsoka gain their footing from that drop, and we see how close they are getting to the surface, if you listen closely, we get duel of the fates in a higher key.

* The music just escalates as we see the clones who were brought to the bottom are all ready to fire on Ahsoka and Rex.

* Cheep and RG try to save Rex and Ahsoka by bringing the clones back up, which ultimately lead to their demise.

* This is the first time we have seen a droid be murdered. Because Cheep and RG were helping Ahsoka and Rex, just like if they were human, they were murdered in cold blood.

* When Ahsoka gets shot again, in that moment you can really tell she’s starting to get tired. She has been fighting non stop for quite a bit now and like any person its taking a toll on her, but her persistence to survive is what gets her through the next few moments.

* The music gets more intense and slivers of duel of the fates kick into action. When she makes that jump just before she throws Rex, the keys as ROTS starts in Race you to the top play and its just a beautiful cinematic parallel.

* She’s really starting to struggle now. It’s just her against hundreds of clones.

* And the ship really starts to take a turn for the worse.

* Rex is clearly terrified for Ahsoka once the ship starts to really deteriorate, and as Ahsoka jumps to get into the Y-Wing, it’s almost too late. The ship is falling apart.

* But Rex isn’t giving up on her. He never has and never will.

* And as she looses her grip on the ship, more notes from Race you to the surface kick in.

* The way she falls but catches herself while running just shows how determined she is to stay alive. She knows that all, or believes that all Jedi have died in this order and she is the only survivor. She can’t let the history and the hope with the Jedi die with this war. She can’t let Rex die alone, so she keeps going.

* While she’s running it just really shows how MASSIVE these ships are in comparison to a person. They are just gigantic.

* Ahsoka and Rex truly got out on the very last second.

* This war has taken a toll on both of them. That fight took a toll. They just fought tooth and bone against their brothers in an effort to survive. Every single one of those clones was ready to give up their lives if it meant for Ahsoka and Rex to die.

* The silence from when they get into the Y-Wing is just perfect. We don’t need any dialogue to represent how powerful this moment is. No words are needed to explain how painful this moment was. After everything Ahsoka and Rex had went through, no words were needed.

* The ship is completely destroyed and same with the republic/grand army of the republic. We even see the Open Circle Fleet logo.

* Ahsoka and Rex are surrounded by the ruins and graves of everything they tried to save. They tried so hard to save the clones. The Jedi tried to save the galaxy. None of them could save the thing they wanted to most.

* Everything Ahsoka and Rex had fought for died. There was so much hope for their futures. Ahsoka talking with Yoda- she could have come back into the order, and she could have been happy.

* Ahsoka and Rex took the time to find R7, and as many clones as they could find. They didn’t JUST put the helmets on the sticks, she buried the bodies of the clones. Every single one they could find.

* These were clones that chose to fight with her. They chose to serve Ahsoka in the Siege of Mandalore.

* The entire planet is shown in more earth-colored tones, lots of browns and tans. It tells us exactly what her and Rex’s mood is, that there is warmth still there, but it’s been dulled and grayed out, she’s devastated and numb, everything she worked so incredibly hard to save is in ashes. Everything she loved is dead or lost.

* She cloaked in Grey, which parallels her in the end of Rebels with the white cloak. Similar to Gandalf, which ( I have confirmation from Dave, this WAS INTENTIONAL)

* She is looking over all the death and destruction from the end of the Clone War. “She was alone, something she was never meant to be”

* As we pan to the Clones helmets up close, we see all of these clones that fought for Ahsoka and chose to be with her until the very end.

* And then we get Jesse.

* A clone who had been fighting alongside her and Anakin since he became a proper clone. He was the last remaining member of the domino squad, who had been through so much, from Umbara to Maul, and then was just another clone. Made to follow order 66 and be expendable.

* Ahsoka’s theme plays.

* so the last time ahsoka’s theme plays (the classic six-note melody) when she lets go of her sabers, it never actually resolves to its sixth and last note—the melody left hanging and incomplete, and it just fades away, just like how this chapter of ahsoka’s life has been abruptly and cruelly cut off because of Palpatine and order 66. Go to 1:42 https://open.spotify.com/track/2EgVDzhE9yBHO7DgMdWCwk?si=z7rGUvqXR6Gd6iCSeFfiPg

* She took the time to bury every single one, so they could have an end of their story, but because of their deaths Ahsoka couldn't with hers, and the music having her theme play unfinished just futures that. She could have come back into the order. She could have saved Anakin. She could have been able to have a peaceful life at the temple with Anakin and Obi-Wan and all of the other Jedi. She could have been able to peacefully explore her potential of being the physical light side embodiment of the force. It's not just the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker. It's the tragedy of everyone he ever cared about too, and them having to face the consequences of his actions.

* She then hesitates to leave her lightsaber. That moment of hesitation before she drops it, that this is so hard for her to let go of, the last piece of Anakin that she had, the last piece of the Jedi that she had. The Jedi Order that she wanted to go back to someday, but they’re gone now. Her connection to them is gone, just like her connection to anything of the Republic. The one thing Anakin had told her and had been consistent from the start, to never lose it. “Your lightsaber is your life. Don’t lose it”

* Ahsoka drops it because she has no hope anymore, she believes Anakin is dead.

* And in this moment Ahsoka Tano died on that moon. Just like Obi-Wan and Anakin did on Mustafar.

* She had to leave everything behind, including her lightsaber. All her hopes for the future, her connections to the people she cared about, the things she wanted to do, her name, everything that made her her. She would go into hiding, become Ashla, and just try to survive.

* Theres no hope. Absolutely no hope for Ashla and Rex.

* This is the first time and the last in the Clone Wars we see that kind of transition of fading out.

* The music that plays is just so sinister. It makes you feel cold, and eludes to the fact that Vader is now there and not Anakin, but yet, it also doesn’t feel like Vader.

* literally every other film depiction of Darth Vader is something very simple, but the way he moves, is just different. He doesn’t’ move like any version we have seen of Vader. He moves like Anakin Skywalker.

* In contrast to what was said about where Ahsoka was, its a frozen wasteland, cold and empty just like Vader.

* “Everything is bleached out. Everything is pretty stark. Everything’s washed away color-wise, which is what George did it at the end of Revenge of the Sith. A lot of things I do are just ways of taking what George did and reasserting them, enhancing them, showing that this is what his half of Star Wars is about, ultimately, and how the heroes will prevail through it, despite all of the wickedness of the enemy.” - Dave Filoni

* And thats what the dark side is. It’s cold. It’s empty.

* In Rebels Ezra shivers from it when he feels a wave of it crash over him, people who are falling into it suddenly feel cold inside, despite that it’s perfectly warm outside.

* It just shows how lost he is. How there were warm yet cold colors with Ahsoka. She’s held onto the light, she’ll return to it when she’s had time to heal, but Anakin has fully embraced it.

* The cruiser is frozen over. Vader walking through the ruins.

* Hearing Vaders breathing is just horrifying. Never have we heard in the clone wars, such a breathtaking sound.

* Ahsoka’s lightsaber.

* This lightsaber is frozen in memory.

* He cradles it in his hand, brushing the snow away again with the other.

* When Anakin goes also to pick up Ahsoka’s saber, its a perfect parallel to Obi-Wan picking up Anakin’s saber.

* Then, inexplicably, he flicks it on and we see Vader wielding a blue lightsaber for the very last time onscreen. Who knows why he turned it on. Maybe he couldn’t quite believe it was Ahsoka’s and that she’d lost it once more. Because he always taught her that “this weapon is your life.”

* Maybe he was testing to see if it still worked or if the color was still that brilliant blue he tweaked it into.

* We then see Vader look to Morai.

* We see the eyes of Anakin. NOT Vader. We see Anakin Skywalker again. The last time in the Clone Wars.

* It’s a clear parallel to Twilight of the Apprentice when Ahsoka destroys the side of his mask with her ‘sabre and Anakin leaks through.

* It’s so, so obviously clear that he still loves Ahsoka in this moment. That Ahsoka still brings out the good in him.

* That this is, awfully, their final goodbye as they knew each other.

* We always read about how Ahsoka and the Convor are linked and how it’s really Ahsoka and the Light Side of the Force that’s linked.

* But I don’t think we’ve ever really seen anything about how Anakin is linked to the Convor and Ahsoka.

* The thing is, I think the Convor also represents the link between Anakin and Ahsoka.

* During the Mortis Arc, Ahsoka essentially dies. The Son kills her, inadvertently mortally wounding his own sister in the process. As the Father grieves, Anakin rushes over to Ahsoka and pleads with the Father. But Anakin in the moment is the one who is the conduit of the Daughter’s life-force as its transferred to Ahsoka.

* Right after the Mortis Arc, Ahsoka gets kidnapped. It’s the first time she’s ever really been alone and forced to fight to survive. But she manages it, despite the other Padawans on the island giving up or succumbing to their fate. Again, out of everyone, Ahsoka survives. This is also the first time we see the convorees.

* During this arc, Anakin is left alone, as well. Fearful and lost, he worries for Ahsoka, but Plo, the Master who found Ahsoka in the first place, guides him. “What is Ahsoka’s strength?” Plo asks him.“She is fearless,” Anakin replies. “That can also be a weakness. Is she a worthy apprentice?” “No one has her kind of determination.”“Except you.”“I’ll find her.”“This may not be within your power.”“Whatever you’re trying to say Master Plo, just say it!”“I am suggesting that perhaps if you have trained her well, she’ll take care of herself and find a way back to you.” This, again, is so, so important. “Except you,” Plo says.

* No one has Ahsoka’s determination except for Anakin. No one has her hope except for him. Ahsoka was already a wonderful, resilient person, but Anakin brought it out in her. He taught her, guided her, and now those lessons must guide her as she faces the world alone. This is only reiterated when Anakin and Ahsoka reunite.

* “Ahsoka, I am so sorry,” “For what?”“For letting you go, for letting you get taken. It was my fault.”“No, Master, it wasn’t your fault.”“I should’ve paid more attention. I should’ve tried harder. I…”“You already did everything you could, everything you had to do. When I was out there, alone, all I had was your training and the lessons you taught me. And because of you, I did survive. And not only that, I was able to lead others to survive as well.”

* Thats a huge recurring theme in Star Wars. Ahsoka preservers and survives. She saves and guides people. Ahsoka will always be Anakin’s Padawan, his legacy.

* She embodies all his best qualities, including, of course, his ever-lingering hope.

* And that is one of the reasons why Ahsoka is so important: Anakin’s goodness lives on within her. Of course she is her own person, I wouldn’t love her as much as I do if she wasn’t, but being Anakin Skywalker’s Padawan shaped her into the woman we know today.

* “You never would have made it as Obi-Wan’s Padawan,” Anakin told her in that very first movie so many years ago. “But you might make it as mine.”That has never been more true.If Ahsoka had been Obi-Wan’s Padawan, she’d be dead along with the rest of the Order. If she’d been Obi-Wan’s Padawan, yes she’d be skilled, and yes she would have learned to persevere throughout hardship— But there’s a certain passion for life and hope in Anakin that Obi-Wan simply doesn’t possess.

* Ahsoka inherited that from him.So now we circle back to the convor. In various cultures owls represent death and wisdom. Filoni has even confirmed that in the Star Wars universe, it is the same. This isn’t surprising when Anakin and Ahsoka are constantly facing off death and rising above it, becoming wiser because of it. And, horribly, I’m reminded that this finale is the death of them. They cannot be who they once were, and they cannot be to each other who they once were. But owls can also represent luck and good fortune.

* “Master Kenobi always said there’s no such thing as luck.”“Good thing I taught you otherwise.”

* All throughout her life, Anakin’s lessons and influence guide her, and after the Mortis Arc in moments of great struggle: a convor appears. What I’m trying to say, I suppose, is that the convor not only symbolizes the Light Side of the Force. It also symbolizes Anakin Skywalker.

* And maybe that’s because Anakin Skywalker does embody the Light Side of the Force. Despite everything he goes through and everything he does, Anakin Skywalker clutches onto that bit of hope and comes back to the Light. He brings Balance to the Force.

* The convor lingers above Anakin at the end of the Clone Wars after Ahsoka has survived despite the odds. It appears again after their duel in Twilight of the Apprentice. Morai watches Anakin limp out of the Temple, and then returns to Ahsoka after guiding her back from the World Between Worlds. After guiding her back to Anakin.

* “I am suggesting that perhaps if you have trained her well, she’ll take care of herself and find a way back to you,” Plo told Anakin that first time Ahsoka was lost. And he’s right. Ahsoka does find her way back. Again and again and again.

* She loves him. He’s her brother and he taught her everything he knew, and she survives because of it. Ahsoka won’t ever let that bit of Anakin go. She won’t ever lose sight of the good in him, or in anyone else.

* “I won’t leave you,” she promises him. “Not this time.”

* It’s more a promise of hope than anything else. A declaration of loyalty and determination and love. She still believes in him, and she wants, no needs him to know that.

* we talk a lot about how the Daughter and Ahsoka are connected through the convor, but we never talk about how Anakin was that conduit in the first place. The Light and life flowed through him into Ahsoka and so she survived.

* In the moments when Anakin holds Ahsoka’s saber it points him towards the light, and TOWARDS Morai, and we see him for who he is, and who he will become.

* Ahsoka has survived through Anakin. And she continues to survive. And maybe it’s still making me cry as I write this, but we know how this story ends, and we’re reminded when Anakin, not Vader, looks up into the sky, Ahsoka’s lightsaber in hand and watches Morai circle above. Star Wars is about hope. It always has been. Despite everything they’ve gone through, there is hope for Anakin Skywalker. And there is hope for Ahsoka Tano, too.

* Vader takes the lightsaber it with him, just like he did with Obi-Wans years later. but even more symbolically–the helmet that has her markings on it, the helmet of a clone trooper of the Republic, with Vader’s reflection walking away from it, forgotten and left behind in the snow, as dead as everything else.

* The last shot we are given of the Clone Wars ever is of the trooper helmet with Ahsoka’s markings and Vader in the shadow.

* It’s the last thing ever we get of the clone wars and represents everything the Clone Wars was about.

* It was about Ahsoka and Rex’s story, and the tie into the fall of Anakin Skywalker.

* Dave Filoni did everything he intended to do with these last episodes. To give us the ending we didn’t just want, but the ending that we deserved.

* Star Wars has always been about hope. Every Star Wars anything has ended on hope, even RotS has hope! (Luke and Leia)

* The audience knows what will happen and that there is hope..

* But Ahsoka and Rex don’t know that. Theres no hope for them.

* This is the first time in Star Wars that something has closed on a Hopeless note.

I would be lying to you if I told you I didn’t cry every time writing a piece of this, and that I wouldn’t be here without the Clone Wars. I would be lying if I said that I won’t ever get over this ending, and I won’t. But the fact that we have an ending, and a really solid one, is everything I need.

#ahsoka tano #ahsoka #star wars #victory and death #clone wars

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castiel-kline · 4 years ago

Text

KitKat’s Random Rewatch Part 3

4x16 On the Head of a Pin

Full disclosure I have not seen this episode in a hot minute and don’t remember most of it so these notes are gonna be real interesting. Let’s go.

Oh my god Sam looks like a baby I feel bad for laughing. An angry baby, but a baby.

Hey season 4 Cas how you doin king <3

God the way he turned off the sirens is iconic

Oh noooo “goodbye sister” went straight to my soul, man

This is the first time we see a dead angel’s wings isn’t it. Dang.

Sam’s driving? That’s rare.

Sam, Dean does not have issues with getting angry don’t tell him he needs to be!

Oh heyyyy Uriel

Is it bad that I’m cackling at Uriel not taking Dean’s shit? I’m not having a very Dean positive day but GO OFF KING WHEW!

Ughhhh I wanted Uriel to come back so that s15 Cas could interact with him bc they have such an interesting dynamic here

“Our garrison” 🥺

Okay I’m actually feeling emotions about Dean fuck

S4 Cas really doesn’t blink huh

Ahhh written by Edlund. Makes sense.

OH SNAP they just left with Dean and Sam was NOT having it

Dean it’s okay you can do itttt

Why is Uriel showing so much emotion? Is that why he’s the funniest angel in the garrison?

God the jokes were so good in early spn I’m cackling

OH THIS IS THE EP WHERE HE SAYS FUNNIEST ANGEL IN THE GARRISON AM I PSYCHIC

Cas sweetie Uriel just laughed in Dean’s face if emotions are the doorways to doubt why is that allowed??? Also was Cas tortured before this one bc I’m... worried about that based on his mannerisms. AHHH

“I would give anything not to have you do this.” Fuck.

Oh yes that’s right Alastair actually scares the shit out of me I forgot

Oh snap Ruby’s in this ep too?!

S4 Sam... unhinged... he’s like half worried for Dean’s mental health and half overconfident it’s a funky mix. Fun and fresh.

Alastair’s really good at pushing Dean’s buttons huh

That creepy slowed down cover of Paint it Black would fit this scene SO WELL

Ruby’s demon eyes looked really cool idk what it was but it was cool

EW did Ruby just call him Sammy? That is rubbing me the wrong way ahhh

Ruby’s evil smirk... she was such a good villain actually she knew EXACTLY what she was doing

The shots of Cas just listening to the screams... damn

ANNA! Hey girl

Anna’s asking the real questions

“What you’re feeling... it’s called doubt” and Cas’ face in response? I’m SCREAMING

She’s holding his hand... 🥺

Oh shit he snatched it away

I am about to start fucking crying because Cas said he didn’t want to fall and he looks terrified. Not to rant but like... this is why him falling shouldn’t be romanticized for a ship. Bc he NEVER FUCKING WANTED TO

Okay I’m probably only thinking about this because I’m applying to film school but HOW did they shoot this part of the torture scene? Did they actually dump salt/something that looks like it down Christopher Heyerdahl’s throat? HOW DID YOU DO IT TELL ME YOUR SECRETS

oh shoot this is when we found about the first seal??? The controlled horror in Dean’s eyes... a point for Jensen

THE LEAKY PIPE AHHSLSKSKSKSKS

I forgot he broke out like that my god that was creepy

Oh fuck yeah Cas fighting with telekinesis why did they ever drop that

YALL THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES ALASTAIR PUSHED CAS ONTO A THINGY STICKING OUT OF THE WALL... THE FINALE MEMES ARE GETTING TO ME AND NOW IM CACKLING

Oh god I had to gif it I am dying

Okay back to the reaction I hope my grainy gif got a giggle out of you :)

Is this an angel exorcism!!!! This is coollll

Oh hey there powers!Sam

I could actually write an essay on Sam and Cas interactions in season 4 there is SO MUCH to unpack in their facial expressions

Sam said “now I can kill” and Cas looked like... idk if it was betrayed or disappointed? AHHH MUCH TO THINK ABOUT

also random observation but Sam and Dean killed each other’s Hell torturers and I have no idea what that means but it was probably not an intentional parallel

Awww Sam’s worried about Dean in the hospital... PROTECTIVE SAM ALERT HELL YEAH

Also in the context of Sam’s faith him yelling at Cas like this is truly something. SO much to unpack

Uriel buddy I think you’re lying through your teeth right now

UGH Cas having emotional turmoil on benches surrounded by snow will never not make me go feral. But feral in a good way.

HALO CAS IMAGERY I AM OFFICIALLY GOING WILD

“I’m considering disobedience” AND IM CONSIDERING LOSING MY MIND CAS STAHP

^^also again not to rant but I am a little concerned for someone who can watch Cas have moments like this and walk away thinking it’s because he’s ~in love~. Pretty obvious to me it’s WAYYYY deeper than that.

OH MY GOD THIS CAS AND ANNA SCENE IS IN THIS EP TOO??? Edlund popped off

Also Cas looks so scared of emotions I’m having an actual attack. Verging on a mental breakdown no joke

OH THE LEAKY PIPE SPEECH CAS I LOVE YOU TO PIECES

Okay WHAT HAPPENED to “the only thing that can kill an angel is another angel” WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT

Cas’ face while Uriel’s monologuing is killing me

“For the first time in a long time... I am.” AHHHHH

and there’s that gorgeous shot

ANNA YOURE SUCH A BADASS WOW

god I’m really having a breakdown about early Cas now send help

Dean don’t be an ass Cas is going through it rn

Fate was wrong buddy Sam was the one who stopped the Apocalypse

Dean is having a legit crisis and it’s actually making me sad what’s happening

And a single man tear to end the episode what a RIDE

Okay I’m giving this a 10/10 that episode did not have to go that hard but it did. And now I am having 50 million simultaneous crises because I adore late seasons soft dad Cas with my entire heart but DAMN did the writers miss opportunities with him. Early Cas really does hit different.

Anyway if you made it this far I hope you enjoyed my ramblings! If you’ve got any episodes you want me to do let me know! I’m on break from school in like a week so I should be able to watch some TV ;)

#kitkat rambles #kitkat's random spn rewatch #spn 4x16 #spn

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momo-de-avis · 6 years ago

Note

hey if its not much trouble would you mind explaining the whole "900 years of history lost" misunderstanding about notre dame? thanks in advance!

No trouble anon! though if you’ll allow me I’ll ramble a little bit..................

I’m not sure it’s a misunderstanding as much as it is panic generated by social media and the images we got. What I mean is, not that social media made it worse, but that it was televised.

But make no mistake, there was a level of loss, of course there was. From what I gathered (there’s news coming from everywhere and I’m trying to rely on what these eyes see from the pics lol) a few windows shattered, and then the roof and spire collapsed entirely. Those are the main points of loss, what disappeared. But it can be brought back.

I’m gonna go a bit on a ramble here if yall excuse me lol but if anyone here who is japanese can correct me or add more info, please do. But take Japan: there’s a law in place where I believe every 25 years, historical buildings are torn down and rebuilt using the same techniques and materials. They also value copies, and a lot of museums preserve the original materials and artefacts far away from the public eye, and what they have on display is copies. This is related of course to the country’s propensity for natural disasters and such. There’s this thought that at any given time, an earthquake or something could destroy these emblems of history, so they preserve the original because what matters is to keep memory alive. As long as they keep memory safe, they can rebuild and keep that history alive.

Europe (and well, the west) has a very different way of seeing things. It’s either preserve or restore, but generally speaking a combination of both. The idea that something that has been destroyed can be rebuilt can tickle us the wrong way. Even when Dresden was rebuilt, despite having been bombed to smithereens during the war, there was reluctance in accepting it. Because rebuilding isn’t quite the same, it’s not exactly as it was before. But the thing is, did the people of Dresden care about that, when they lost their historical landmarks? They chose to keep the memory alive.

With the Notre Damme, it’s curious because we’re seeing a swift shift of positions here. The french always truck as particularly against this idea of ‘rebuilding’ (the Notre Damme’s intervention by Viollet-le-Duc in the 19th century raised quite a stir, a lot of people hated it. And if you want to see just how resilient against ‘reconstruction’ some french art historians are, check the controversies behind Hausmann). But the situation was: when faced with the imminence of a major loss, the french united immediately. They want their church rebuilt. And I think that, not only will the Notre Damme be rebuilt eventually (though it might take some time), it can be a good thing in the end.

It’s really important to note that most of the statues, relics, artworks and artefacts were saved like, that was SUCH a good thing. Which means a major part of the memory of the church has been preserved. What collapsed---the roof and the spire, and as far as I can tell a few windows---can also be brought back. Now, of course, it won’t be ipsis verbis what it was before. But The Notre Damme is so well documented, so well studied, with so many experts surrounding it, there’s more than enough documentation to not only bring back what fell, it can also be done in more technologically modern ways. The roof for example will not be what it was, especially because of 1) the type of wood, 2) the amount of wood. But it can be redone very, very similarly using methods that now keep in mind the eventuality of a fire, of an earthquake, a flood, etc. It can be done better to prevent further disasters.

When I saw the pictures of the inside of the church after the fire went out, I seriously thought ‘this bitch didn’t even SHAKE’. When I saw the stained-glass rosacea my jaw seriously dropped. Like, I can’t express how positive those images were: the main wall structures were intact, the most important stained-glass windows survived.

It’s almost funny that it was the spire that fell. The spire was built in the 19th century, under Viollet-le-Duc’s restoration process. In the 19th century, most iconic churches were in shambles, Notre Damme wasn’t the only one. here in Portugal, the famous Jerónimos looked like this:

It was shit. Then they built a tower there because these guys in the 19th century thought they knew better and they seriously made up notions of ‘gothic’ that was very far from the real gothic, and that tower was so goddamn high it collapsed, so then it looked like this:

Building towers that weren’t there was a thing in the 19th century lmao and nearly all of them collapsed. The spire of the Notre Damme was a stubborn bitch and lived on through another century. It can be rebuilt as well---again, it’s very well documented, there are millions of photos out there, as well as exhaustive studies, restoration processes and overall documentation that tells us not just how it was made, but the process of construction back in the 19th century. So it can be done, and I have absolutely no doubt that it will. I have no doubt at all that in a few years (though I can’t say how many) we will see the Notre Dame again.

Most of these buildings suffered fires and catastrophes of the sort throughout their lives. They survived, and the marks of those moments remained in the stone, the construction, the documentation. It’s not unheard of, and it won’t be the last. These things happen, unfortunately, and it’s in our best interest to prevent, to prepare these historical landmarks for the eventuality of another one happening and come up with a safer plan to reduce damage next time it happens (whether the Notre Dame or somewhere else).

I do think it’s an exaggeration to say the Notre Dame is gone, because holy shit, it’s not. It’s right there. This bitch survived two world wars and a huge fire. She won’t g down so easily.

There are more tragic occurrences more recently that are more concerning to me: take the Rio de Janeiro museum, or Palmyra. There’s an enormous level of loss, of irreparable damage to those cases. Things have been lost forever, and not just historical landmarks: things pertaining to the birth of civilization, first evidence of humans on earth and things of the sort. It’s not the same with the Notre Dame. We can, and we should all breathe easily because the damage as far less than we were led to believe. But I think what caused panic was the fact that it was televised. We watched it in real time, watched it as it burned and of course we thought the worst. Though catastrophes like this one have happened several times before, this time it was televised, and I think that made it worse.

But now that the damage is being assessed (and mind you, though I preach about the walls standing and all, there’s a level of danger there too, and specialists need to asses the extent of the damage caused by the fire. Thankfully, we do have technology and knowledge to prevent any further damage) we can all say: this bitch is going to live, like, nothing can bring it down.

On a related note: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-47959313

They’re calling architects all around the world to design a new spire. Now, there’s going to be some purist minds who will be against it, because, as I stated before, ‘it won’t be the same’. But the thing is, the original spire was made with the exact same intention: it was an innovation, something new, something modern, placed on a gothic building to enhance its beauty and marry old with new. And I honestly think it’s incredibly cool that they’re aiming towards designing a new spire. That’s what defines a building’s history, that’s how it lives on: it changes, it adapts, and it survives catastrophes so it can change and adapt again. What was there of the old roof and spire will not be lost---it will forever be remembered in millions of documents around the world. But now that the spire has died, I think it’s time for a new one to come to life. So, honestly, I do think it’s very cool!

#Anonymous

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smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 5 years ago

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10 things i hate about you!spideychelle au pt 3

whhewww here we have it, folks, the last we’ll see of this very very lovely au that i care so very much about in a while (from me, at least) haha

i’ve been thinking about this au for so long but i still haven’t decided if i want mj to be in on the whole her dates are getting paid to date her thing hahaha

cus like i feel that if ned and peter have been trying to get mj on a date that lasts longer than 5 minutes for like 2 years, she would have noticed by now, right?

like i don’t know, the thing about the film was that patrick getting paid to date kat was so very wrroongg. but if mj was in on it, and knew it was happening, i think it takes the piss out of itself and gives her some agency, no?

like, i like to think that peter, mj, and ned are still their group of friends since they’re the ones in the same year. and i don’t know maybe mj makes bets with them on how long the dates they have for her are going to last hahaha

suffice it to say, aside from the money they lose paying the dates, peter and ned loses some more, from the fact they never win against mj hahaha

but then they start to get their money back when parker arrives and completely holds his own against our illustrious mj haha

the issue i have with this au is the liz and peter of it all

once parker and mj start going on dates, liz and peter would be dating as well too. but here’s the thing, what if pretty responsible popular liz is just a bit of a people pleaser and she didn’t want to let down peter until she absolutely had to. which was why she insisted she help her sister get out of her shell first and prioritize other responsibilities, instead of breaking poor ol sweet peter’s heart

meanwhile, parker starts falling for mj and vice versa

they find the fact that neither caring about what other people say about them refreshing and it feels good to be seen for who they really are and not just the gossip that’s been told about them

and then ofc all of this happens at bogey lowenstein flash thompson’s party haha (date night and revenge on their bully in one night? sounds like 2 birds with one stone for peter and ned to me hahaha)

by the end of the night, peter is no longer interested in liz and thus no longer paying parker to date mj. but by that time, he isn’t really doing it for the money anymore

however, when parker takes mj home and mj takes a risk to go for a kiss, he remembers what happened in his universe, how he’s lost every single person he’s loved, and on instinct, doesn’t reciprocate the kiss

mj storms out of the car to her house and parker regrets what he did immediately

cue the iconic heath ledger patrick verona musical number, embarrassing himself to even the score between him and kat.

ofc cus this is spideychelle, parker’s version has him webswinging all over the place while at the same time also tapdancing across a field haha

and then cue mj getting him out of detention

and then ofc there has to be a version of the paintball scene. OFC THERE IS. HOW COULD YOU EFFING NOT?

it’s set to FNT (fascinating new thing) by semisonic, they’re adorably playing paintball with each other, laughing and chasing each other around, and it ends with with him tackling her to a bale of hay and them finally sharing their first kiss

but haha just when you thought things were finally going well for parker in this new universe he found himself in, parker sees an old familiar face... Dr. Strange.

dr. strange informs him that all the trauma parker went thru has now been undone and that they won in their universe because of the og avengers’ sacrifices (essentially what happens in endgame) and so now, dr. strange has come to take him home, back to his rightful universe

parker pleads to give him some more time to say his goodbyes at least and dr strange agrees, parker has till prom to say goodbye

the thing is, is that mj sees all of this happen from a distance and so ofc she’s going to question parker about it. however, parker doesn’t want to talk about it (explain so much insanity about how he’s from another universe??) and he just wants to go to prom with mj, have one last amazing night with her before leaving

but, mj, with her convictions reminds parker that she doesn’t want to go to prom and never has and mj wants to know why peter wants to go to prom so bad but peter doesn’t want to tell her

their fight ends on a standstill and they both just end up leaving to give themselves some time to think

on the night of the prom, peter decides to tell her why prom is so important to him. the fact that it was his last night in her universe, the fact that the brief relationship they had was what brought him back to life after the hell he went thru on his universe. the fact that being with her, was the thing that gave him hope for the first time since losing everything. and the fact that he knows once he returns to his earth, he wouldn’t have his date with mj in prom. he wants to feel like he’s still a high schooler one last time before going back to his superhero avenger double life. can you blame him for wanting to take the girl he likes to prom?

so mj agrees

they go to prom together, dance their night out, and mj is there when parker meets dr. strange.

parker thanks mj for everything one last time and mj thanks him for making her feel less alone, for being the first person outside of her family, to love her for who she really was and saw beyond the superficial bs people spewed about her

they say their tearful thanks and goodbyes, share one last hug and kiss, and parker returns to his universe.

and that was it, prom was over

PRROOLOOOGGUUUEEEEEEEE HAHAHHAHA

while all of this parker and mj stuff was happening, peter was getting his spider-man origin story.

i like to think, dr strange entering their universe, triggered all the superhero craziness to start and so peter become’s spider-man

mj notices her peter getting weird, exhibiting the same things parker told her he did once he got his powers

and so mj finds out peter’s spider-man, like she does

and so in this universe, the spideychelle train gets back on its track

in parker’s universe, he eventually graduates, and ends up going to nyu. where he spots a very familiar girl with her curly hair tied up in a pony tail. he’s confident approaching her, since he already knew a version of her

but his confidence fizzles into nothing the the second he tries to talk to his mj, and he finds like he’s back in high school again, filled with nerves talking to a girl he likes

maybe lost love can be found again, can’t it? maybe the universe just finds itself putting the same people together, because they’re destined to be with each other.

so basically i wrote this because i want to believe spideychelle is canon in every universe hahaha

hope someone enjoyed reading this, cus i certainly enjoyed writing it haha. this whole ass story is definitely made for multi chapter fics and it’s exactly why you won’t be seeing it for a while. it’s cus i just ain’t ready for that yet hahaha. but we’ll see what happens after we finish spideychelle month. i want to finish all spideychelle month prompts first, and then i might follow up on any stuff i mentioned there haha.

this au’s just a whole ass mess, innit? it’s a romcom au, a spideychelle month prompt, it’s got multiple posts, two universes within this alternate universe, and even a little of a soulmate au in the prologue there hahaha. my brain is just so cray sometimes and i love it. i’m so glad spideychelle month gave me the opportunity to be forced to explore this au because i genuinely truly love it. 10 things i hate about you is one of my top 3 movies of all time and i’ve watched so many movies (<- goes w/o saying haha)

i hope anyone reading this found this interesting and nice cus i really did and i actually think it’s pretty good hehe. i hope to come back to this and give this story the coverage it deserves. but for now, spideychelle month week 1 day 5 is DONE! whew onto week 2, lovelies. i’m excited to show yalls what i have planned :’) (but i think i already teased it in my first spideychelle month entry tho haha)

all hail spideychelle and let’s keep this fic train going people! toot toot

#spideychelle #spideychelle is canon bitches #IN EVERY UNIVERSE #HAHAHAHAHAHA #or at least in every one of MY universes hahaha #spideychelle month #spideychellemonth #to keep the spideychelle dream alive #<3 #:')#10 things i hate about you #peter parker #michelle jones #spider-man #mj #liz allan

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ukulelewrites · 6 years ago

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thank u, next

A/N: am i whipped for one (1) kangaroo leader???????? maybe lol but i’m on break rn for cranberry season and i whipped up this fic after listening to this song on repeat for a kajibillion hours. i’m thinking of making this a two part series? or should i keep the ending as is? or do y’all want more of this dynamic???? lmk what yall think!!! Also if anyone can tell what the song skz is singing hmu

Pairing: Stray Kids’ Chan x Reader

Genre: Angst/Fluff/Pop Star!Reader x Rock Star!Chan/Exes AU

Word Count: 5.4k

Thought I’d end up with Han / But he wasn’t a match,

Wrote some songs about Hyunjin / Now I listen and laugh,

These words flowed through the car stereo late at night as Chan found himself kissing some random girl he met at the nightclub. She kept her hands clutching tightly to his leather jacket, and he smirked as she let out another sigh.

Even almost got married / And for Chan I’m so thankful,

Wish I could say “thank you” to Felix / Cause he was an angel,

Chan froze once he heard his name coming from the stereo. “What’s wrong, babe?” the girl, who’s name had slipped his mind, asked.

He dropped his shocked expression and slipped back into his normal cocky facade. “Nothing, don’t worry ‘bout it,” he reassured her, leaning down to ghost his lips against hers, Now, where were we?”

One taught me love / One taught me regret

One taught me pain / Now, I just can’t forget

You had not expected such an explosive reaction to your newest single, but here you were, scrolling down your Twitter feed to the endless tweets gushing over “thank u, next.”

“Darling! You’ve done it once again!” your manager exclaimed as she burst into your dressing room, “I’m getting calls after calls asking you to come onto talk shows, radio shows, award shows, the whole shebang!”

“I’m glad to see you’re so excited about this, Melissa,” you teased, “I haven’t seen you this happy since you’ve met Chris Evans.”

“Now, as much as I love that man, I love you much more, my little songbird,” she sang as she booped your nose. “Did you hear what they’re calling this? ‘Pop Princess turned Pop Queen!’ God how I love the press! They’re eating this whole thing up!”

“I guess they didn’t expect me to release such an honest song,” you replied, still scrolling through your feed.

“Of course they didn’t! Who knew innocent ‘Somni’ would pull a Taylor Swift and drop a song about her exes? And name them too? No other artist has done that before!”

“I’m pretty sure I wrote that song about my self-growth, Melissa, not just to highlight I dated those guys.”

“Of course, darling. Now, why don’t we get you all dolled up for the red carpet? It’s your first public appearance as the ‘new’ you!” She let out a squeal before running out to grab your stylist and make-up artist.

You giggled at her newfound excitement and looked back down at your phone only to freeze at the headline glaring back you: CHAN CONQUESTS AGAIN? You swallowed down the uneasiness that crept upon you and placed your phone face down. “Get a grip, Y/N. You’re no longer ‘little Ms. Pop Princess,’” you said to yourself, training your eyes firmly on your reflection in the mirror, “and some boy isn’t going to make you revert to that.”

“Now, Somni, how does it feel to be all grown up now?” Amber asked. You laughed at her formality, considering the two of you were close friends, and pretended to ponder upon the answer.

“Honestly, I have no clue what you’re talking about,” you answered, giggling a bit at the eye roll she gives you and the disappointed looks you get from the audience members.

“I can’t believe you’re playing coy with me right now!” she jokingly complained, “I expect answers during my interviews, Y/N, answers!” The audience ooh’d when she used your real name.

“Sorry, Amber, I just don’t get your question! I’ve been a grown up since I turned 18, and that was a while ago.”

“Nuh uh! Somni was not grown up two years ago when she released ‘Wonderland.” Iconic album, but definitely the cookie cutter pop album we’d expected it to be. But this? ‘thank u, next’ completely defies what we expected coming from you! What caused the shift?”

You could practically feel the audience members leaning forward with bated breath. Ever since the song dropped a month ago, the internet had been ablazed with speculation over your music’s sudden shift.

“Well, I guess I was done writing a narrative where I was always the person getting saved,” you said, referring to the long list of love songs you had written in the past, “and I wanted to be the person that saved myself. ‘Monochrome’ is definitely going to show more of that self-love theme that I teased in ‘thank u, next,’ and I’m so happy that everyone has been so supportive of the change!” You gestured towards the audience members, earning a cheer from them, and even acknowledged the camera, knowing many of your fans were also watching at home.

“Amazing. I’m so proud of you for taking that next step in your career,” Amber gushed, earning an ‘awww’ from the audience, “Now, we can’t just ignore what everyone here actually wants to know about.”

You looked at her and quirked a brow. “And what is that?”

“The boys of course! You can’t just name drop them without spilling some tea, sis,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Stop,” you whined, “why would you even bring them up?” You exaggerated bashfulness by covering your face with your hands.

“C’mon, you name dropped a few big names in that song. Han? The biggest name in the up and coming rap scene right now! Hyunjin? He’s the highest paid male model in the world! Felix? Before his retreatment from the scene, he was the most well-known actor of his time!”

“Well, they helped build me into the person I am today. I didn’t think anything more of it,” you replied diplomatically.

“And we cannot leave out the biggest bombshell from that song: Chan, the lead guitarist of SKZ, which is, by the way to anyone watching who have been living under a rock for the past year, the biggest rock band on the scene right now! Who knew you were into the bad boy type, Somni? And you almost married the guy too!”

You let out an airy chuckle, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. “Yeah, we were young and in love. A risky combination if you ask me,” you joked, eliciting laughter from your audience.

“C’mon, Somni, you gotta give us something!” Amber pleaded.

“You know I don’t kiss and tell,” you jested, “especially not to the thousands of people who watch your show!” The audience whined at your statement, and you only flashed them an apologetic smile.

“But seriously, how did the bright-eyed, princess of the pop world end up almost married to the biggest playboy rock star on the scene right now?” Amber goaded.

“We were different at the time, Ambs. Life just happened to end up this way,” you replied cryptically. She tsked at your unwillingness to spill everything, but she retreated from the topic.

“Anyways, focusing back on you, I heard you’ll be performing at the American Music Awards, and you’re premiering your new single’s music video during it? That’s huge!”

“Yeah, ‘Without Me’ is getting a music video. Stan Twitter, this one’s for y’all!” you exclaimed, shooting finger guns towards the camera.

“And you’re album is dropping tonight right?”

“Exactly at midnight! I hope everyone can listen to it. I know it’s my favorite and most intimate album to date, and I hope everyone enjoys it to!”

“Well that looks like all the time we have with Somni tonight, folks. Check out her new album, ‘Monochrome,’ dropping tonight at midnight!”

You were back in your New York City penthouse, finally away from the hustle and bustle that came with album promotions. A small sigh escapes past your lips as you submerged yourself into the warm, bubbly bath water. You rested your head against the tub and looked up at the ceiling, finding yourself slipping away into your memories.

“What do you think about this chord, songbird?” Chan asked, strumming a jumbled mess of notes on his guitar. He got a scrunched up nose and a ball of sheet music thrown at his face as an answer. “Just teasing you,” he pouted, scooting over on the couch to look over your shoulder.

“I know you are, but I’m trying to focus right now,” you grumbled, pushing your glasses back up your nose and scrunching your eyebrows together. Your pencil was still flying across the page, putting down notes and rests and lyrics.

“Why don’t you take a break,” he asked sweetly, “focus on,” he leaned his head down to nip at the sensitive skin on your neck, “something else?” You stilled your hand for a split second, and Chan thought he had finally broken through, but you just shrugged him off and went straight back to work.

“This is my first album after debuting, Chan. I can’t just put it off. I need to come back with good music,” you sighed. He looked on worriedly as you ran your fingers through your hair once again and let out another huff of air.

“Songbird.” His hands found themselves on your waist, and he hoisted you onto his lap. You didn’t struggle and leaned back into his arms. “Sometimes you just,” he pressed feather-light kisses against your neck after each word, “need a little distraction,” once he found your sweet spot, you knew you were gone, “or some inspiration,” you let out a soft groan when he lightly bit down on your flesh, “like how well I’m going to-”

BRRRING! BBBRRRIING!

“Sorry, babe,” you mumbled, leaning down to scoop your phone off the floor. “Let me take this, and I promise you we’ll get back to where we left off.” Chan just waved you off, but you had missed how his eyes trailed after your retreating frame lovingly. If only you had seen that.

You knew you were over your past relationships. Each one ended, relatively resolved, and tucked away in your memory box. You and Han ended things after six months due to busy schedules. Hyunjin was dropped after 4 months when you realized you needed someone to fulfill a deeper, emotional need. Felix disappeared from the scene a year into your relationship, and you just assumed it was over when he stopped replying to your texts. And Chan — your eyebrows furrowed at the thought of him.

You could never really pinpoint where things went wrong with him. It was a flurry of you falling too fast for someone who never really reciprocated back and diving right in when he proposed to you 2 years into the relationship. A wry smile graced your lips when you recalled the realization that had dawned on you two months into the engagement. “He never said ‘I love you’ sober,” you mused as you continued to soak in the bath. You knew that he was tucked in a box just like the other boys, but a small voice in the back of your head continued to pull at the ribbon that kept his box shut.

“Somni, you are absolutely stunning tonight!” the interviewer gushed as she gestured towards your fitted maroon suit jacket and tight cream pants outfit.

“Why thank you so much!” you beamed.

“I must say, this is probably a huge night for you,” she said, “How does it feel to be one of the main focuses of the night?”

“Well, I don’t know about ‘main focuses,’ but I am so excited to perform tonight and reveal the music video for the new single, ‘Without You!’”

“Speaking of ‘Without You,’ it is easily my favorite song from ‘Monochrome!’”

“Stop! You’re just being polite,” you teased.

“No! I seriously love how raw you sounded in the song. I honestly felt the pain in your voice,” she said. “Plus, it was quite fun trying to figure out which of the exes this one was about.” She gave you an over exaggerated wink, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.

“Well, I hope you don’t expect me to tell you who,” you retorted, “It was lovely talking to you!”

After you bid her goodbye, you continued walking down the red carpet, stopping every now and then to pose for the camera and wave towards your fans. You also stopped every now and then to talk to some other artists and congratulate them for their nominations. In the midst of your conversation with Jaime, a deafening cheer from the hoard of fangirls came crashing into your ears. You looked behind you and saw SKZ getting out of their limo and beginning to walk down the red carpet. It was a blatant understatement to say Chan looked good. Even after accepting your failed relationship as it is, you were still capable of addressing that the guy looked fine. You dared not to stare for too long, since there were cameras everywhere focused on you, but you took a mental snapshot of Chan with his, newly dyed, blond hair swept up to reveal his forehead, adorned with a leather jacket thrown over a, teasingly, tight white button up and torn black skinnies, and the trademark devil may care attitude that seemed to wash off of him in waves. A flash of light followed by a click pulled you out of your trance, and you refocused your attention back on Jaime. “Where did we leave off?” you asked sweetly, planting back on your trademarked smile.

The stage lights were pulsing, and the roar of the crowd became almost deafening around you. It had been a long night of dancing, singing along to the performers on stage, and afflicting yourself to pain whenever you had to trek onto the stage in your heels to present or accept an award. The camera seemed to love you as it continued to film you and Jaime as the two of you bounced up and down, both of you ditching your heels at that point, to the artists on stage and lip-syncing like your lives depended on it. However, you noticed the camera lingering on you longer than usual, and you sent the cameraman a playful quirk of the eyebrow. That was when Jaime pointed towards the main stage.

“SKZ is about to perform,” she explained, keeping a hand on your arm comfortingly.

“Awesome! I heard they’re performing a never heard before single,” you said back, trying to keep your expression upbeat for the camera.

The brief break ended, and all cameras trained their focus onto the side stage where the host stood. “Revealing a brand new single for the first time, here are the heartthrobs of SKZ with ‘Moving Along!’” they exclaimed.

Chan began to strum a steady rhythm, and a lump formed in your throat when you noticed the songbird sticker still stuck to the bright, red body of his guitar. The song was definitely more chill compared to their older, “edgier” releases, but you liked the lazy feel of the bass, the driving force of the rhythmic guitar, and the lax attitude the guys took on as they sang into the mics.

Been thinking bout you lots lately / Have you been feeling empty beds just like me?

I’ve been thinking bout you lots, lately / Or are you moving along?

You couldn’t help but chant along to the chorus, ignoring the weird feeling you got from the lyrics.

Is it wrong if I ask you to come over? / Is it wrong if I told you that I love ya?

Even though I never do it when I’m sober / Is it wrong? So wrong

That lyric struck a chord in you, but you continued to plaster on your smile and dance along to the song, keeping up a show for the camera. “If I wrote a break-up song, I guess he can too,” you mused.

The neon lights flashed to the bass that vibrated throughout the entire nightclub. You found yourself retreated to one of the side booths, scrolling on your phone to look at all the feedback you got back for the “Without Me” music video. It was amusing to see the internet freak out over, but you couldn’t help but feel disappointed at the lack of commentary on the music video’s aesthetic, which you had painstakingly curated, instead the buzz seemed to be around who the music video alluded to. Was the song about Chan? Definitely. You wrote it shortly after your split with him, and it sat in your drafts for a good year before your management pulled it out, dusted it off, and polished it up to be the second single for “Monochrome.” Was the purpose of the song to demonize Chan? Hell no. It was just to help you heal, help you get over such a harsh fall from cloud 9. You disappeared from the music scene for a good year to recuperate because being with him was like a firework. It built up and heated up and kept you enthralled, but it ended so quickly and left messes behind. It just happened to be that you were the mess that was left behind.

“Where were you?” you asked, too tired to put any emotion in your words anymore.

Chan looked at your sitting frame on the couch in shock. Well, as much shock as a drunk man could muster. “What’re you doing still up?” he slurred.

“Where. Were. You?”

“Out with the guys. Celebrating the new album’s release, the usual.” Chan’s brows furrowed. The tone of your voice took a complete 180 from what he was used to. “What’s wrong, songbird?” He walked up to you to try and get some shred of the usual warmth you emitted, but he was abruptly stopped when you stood up and held up a hand in between the two of you.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore.” You had no clue where your iciness came from, but it wasn’t hard to assume it accumulated over the past two months of your engagement. The past two months where you were planning the wedding alone in your apartment’s kitchen with the company of a glass of wine while Chan is out every night getting shit-faced with who knows who?

“Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me,” he pleaded, trailing behind you to the shared bedroom. You replied with silence, keeping your pace steady and your face still. You knew if you spoke, your voice would’ve wavered. “Y/N?”

God, he sounded so broken and confused. It took your all not to spin around and wrap your arms around him like everything was okay. But it had been months of his lack of attention, affection (unless he was absolutely desperate), and affirmation. Your revelation had been when you were sitting on the living room floor, writing a song about him as a surprise present for him during the wedding. However, in your fit of brainstorming, it came to your realization he hasn’t told you he loved you since the engagement. He hasn’t sat down with you and helped with the planning. He hasn’t been home most nights to hold you in his arms at night. The sudden distant behaviour led you to thinking: maybe he didn’t want this at all. Maybe he didn’t want you at all.

You were in the bedroom now, and you grabbed the giant duffel bag you had packed earlier and spun around to leave as quickly as you could.

“You’re leaving me?” he asked, “Why are you leaving?” You pushed past him without a word, but he grabbed your arm and spun you around to face him. “Y/N, talk to me.”

“Let me go, Chan.” God, you were too tired to drag this out any longer.

“Not until you tell me what the hell is going on!” Chan spat back.

“I’m leaving you! That’s what’s ‘going on!’ I’m finally doing what’s right for me and leaving your sorry ass behind!” you screamed.

“What the hell did I do?” He was getting angrier now. “I just got home, and you’re already being a pissy little bitch!”

Your glare hardened at his last word. “Really now? You’re calling me a ‘bitch?’ Maybe I have a reason to be one,” you got right up into his face, “considering you’ve been an awful fiance for the past two months! You haven’t helped with any of the planning! You have barely been home at all lately! And we haven’t had a proper conversation in ages! I’m so tired of being strung along and left out to dry!”

“Maybe if you weren’t nagging me all the damn time, I’d stay home! Don’t you know how annoying it gets when I get home from the studio and the first thing I hear is your fucking voice telling me to pick out a goddamn flower arrangement?” he seethed, “If I knew you were this annoying, I would’ve never proposed.”

You had kept your indignant stare trained on his face the entire time, but at that last sentence you tore your gaze away and pulled your arm out of his grasp. “Would’ve never proposed, huh?” you parroted humorlessly, trying to smother down the lump forming in your throat and the tears swelling in your eyes. “Yeah, I wish you never did too.” You turned away to hide the tears slowly streaming down your cheeks and just started walking away.

“Wait, Y/N, songbird, I didn’t mean that,” Chan said, following after you, “You know that I love you.”

You spun around quickly and sent him a spurned look. “Do I? When was the last time you told me you loved me? When was the last time you held me? When was the last time you helped me? You don’t love me. You probably,” you choked up, “never did.”

“No, Y/N, I swear, I swear to God, I love you. I promise you I’ll be better,” he begged.

“Can you tell me that tomorrow when you’re sober?” you asked wryly. Chan just looked at you pleadingly, practically begging you to stay. “I’m done being another body that keeps you warm at night. Goodbye, Chan.” And just like that, you were out of his life.

You blinked back the tears that crept up and began putting back on your “Somni” mask, smiling brightly and cheerfully at everyone. Jaime and some of your other artist friends were lost to the beat, dancing away the night in the middle of the room. You were a solid two steps away from joining them before halting when you made eye contact with Chan. He was still dressed in that ridiculously fitted white button-up, and his hair had become messier, with strands falling down to grace his face. He was dancing with some girl; his hands on her waist as she kept her back firmly pressed against his chest, but his eyes were trained on you. If it was past-you in present-you’s position, you would’ve probably ran out of the room trying not to let tears spring from your eyes. But this is present-you, the one who spent a year healing and coming out of the wreckage stronger. You gave him a brief smile before turning away and walking towards the exit. “I think I’m done for the night,” you thought to yourself, “That’s enough excitement for a day.”

Chan woke up again to a cold bed. He groggily turned onto his side and glared at the bright red numbers that told him he was, once again, late to a meeting with management. “Great,” he said, falling back onto his back, “I couldn’t get any last night. I ran into my ex. And now I’m fucking late to a meeting.” The day hasn’t even started yet, and it’s already the worst day of his life. He grumbled and groaned some more before getting out of bed and stumbling to the drawer to find a clean shirt and pair of jeans. “When the fuck were you so soft, Chan?” he asked himself while digging around for socks. He would’ve usually never be affected like shit like this, but ever since you released that song he hasn’t been able to think of anyone but you. Every single girl he tried to bring back to his place ended in absolutely nothing because you keep plaguing his mind. Every single radio station he goes to ends up playing your song. And now his band’s highest selling single is the song he wrote about you. It was like he could never escape, and he was so fucking tired of it.

“Glad you could join us, Chan,” his manager said sarcastically.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “long night.” His bandmates looked at him sympathetically; almost everyone could tell Somni’s latest album was affecting him more than he’d want to let on.

“Anyways, we’ve generated such a good buzz around the upcoming album with all this ‘ex-lovers’ gossip, the company thought it’d be good to accept an offer for a special interview on Amber’s talk show,” the manager started cautiously.

“What kind of interview?” Chan asked.

“With you and Somni.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Chan seethed. “We’re ancient history! The public wouldn’t have cared this much if she didn’t release that stupid song and name-drop me.”

“But they care now, and bottom line, everyone knows you wrote ‘Moving Along’ about her. Do this interview and you boys are projected to break the Top 10 of album sales for 2018.”

“So we’re exploiting me for album sales?” Chan sneered.

“You signed up for this life, rock star. Don’t tell me you’re backing down because of some girl? Thought the two of you were ancient history?”

Chan studied his manager hard before gruffly agreeing to the interview, “If it gets you off my case.”

“So this isn’t awkward at all right?” Amber asked midway through the interview. You politely waved off her worry even though you could practically cut the tension between you and Chan with a knife. “Awesome,” she exclaimed, “Now let’s get to the juicy stuff. How did the two of you meet? Considering both of you are so freaking famous, how did no one know about this relationship???”

“Simple,” Chan plastered on his “rock star” persona quickly, leaning into the leather couch and easily placing his arm behind your head, “We figured out how to avoid the press after all of our years in the spotlight. Plus, it wasn’t hard for me to approach her; she was this bright-eyed, newly debuted pop princess completely left alone at an after party bar. I figured I might as well grace her with my company and from there it’s history.”

If he can put on his persona, I can too.

“If I remember correctly, I told you to buzz off when you offered to buy me a drink,” you said with a quirked eyebrow. The audience ooh’d at that, completely drinking up your newfound HBIC attitude.

“Looks like our pop princess is gone,” Amber joked, riling up the audience a bit more.

“But then you took a complete 180 when you ran into me tipsy into the alleyway outside the club,” Chan retorted, a playful smirk gracing his features.

Before you could stop yourself, you softly smiled at the memory and agreed. Chan was 100% taken aback by your change in demeanor. The queen-esque Somni facade was replaced by the Y/N he remembered waking up to every morning. If he wasn’t on camera right now, he would’ve definitely melted.

The moment was interrupted by Amber. “Wait, what happened? Y’all can’t leave us hanging like that!”

The soft expression left your face as quickly as it came and you settled back into your camera-self. “You know I don’t kiss and tell, Ambs,” you teased, “And I hope Chan here knows better and doesn’t either!” The audience laughed at your jest.

“Fine, but you can’t spend this entire time not giving us anything!”

“I can’t believe you told them the kitten story!” Chan exclaimed as the two of you lounged in the break room.

“What? They wanted some sort of tea, so I gave them an adorable story about the time you tried to ‘save’ a ‘stray,’ and it turned out you catnapped our neighbour’s cat!” You broke out into giggles at the memory of it all. All the tension between the two of you eased away somehow throughout the interview, and here you were now, sitting on the break room couch waiting for your ride while sharing memories with your ex-fiance.

“Okay, how was I supposed to know Benjamin already had an owner? He didn’t have a collar on him!”

“You can’t call the kitten Benjamin, Chan. It’s name was Spot, and we ran into it every day when Mr. Jameson went outside to collect the mail with the kitten trailing behind him.”

“Fine! I admit I just wanted a pet,” he said with a pout. Laughter fills the air, and it seemed like the clock had been turned back, like it was you and Chan on your couch at 3am sharing stories with each other. A comfortable silence falls upon the two of you.

“Do you miss this sometimes?” he asked out of the blue. You were taken aback by how serious he sounded.

“Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I miss this.” He said it so nonchalantly that you almost missed it.

“Why would you?” you teased, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Because I love you.”

You didn’t know how to process that confession. You didn’t know how to respond to that confession. Hell, you didn’t even know he had it in him to drop that confession. You awkwardly chuckled, trying to diffuse the sudden surge of emotions running in your mind, “C’mon, you never really loved me, Chan. It’s all the media stuff getting to your head.” You tried waving it off while also trying to ward off the sudden heat rising to your cheeks.

“No, Y/N, I do love you. I loved you then, and I was an asshat for never telling you. But I was an idiot then who had no idea what love was. I hopped from girl to girl every single night until I met you. I dropped on one knee so fast and you said yes, and that’s when I realized that I was in no way shape or form good enough for you, and instead of facing it and trying to become better for you, I ran away and drove away the best goddamn thing that has ever happened to me. And I’m so fucking sorry for what my drunkass self said to you that night because it never said what I really wanted to say, ‘Stay. I’m sorry. I love you. Forgive me.’’

The air was getting heavier and you found it getting difficult to breath.

“But I swear, Y/N, on my heart, on my guitar, on my band, I love you, and I’m so sorry for not being the man you deserved.”

And that was when the dam opened. You just started bawling. It was like every single ounce of pain and sadness you bottled up after that break up, every ounce you poured into your music so you could pretend to be strong and move on, came rushing out. In your tears, you didn’t notice when Chan wrapped his arms around you. Taken over by muscle memory, you burrowed your face into his chest and wrapped your arms around his torso. He ran his fingers through your hair and rubbed your back reassuringly.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’m sorry for always making you cry, but I’ll be here for you now. I swear.”

Even then, with him comforting you and speaking so genuinely to you, you didn’t know what to make of the situation. Should you shut this down now or risk crushing your heart again just to give him a second chance? Chan took notice of your sudden stillness.

“Y/N? You alright?” He pulled himself away from you to study your face. “Y/N?”

“Chan,” you whispered, “I-” With a surge of stupid impulse, you grabbed Chan by the shirt and pulled him towards you, pressing your lips harshly against his. Like many times before, Chan’s hands find themselves gripping onto your waist before pulling you onto his lap. All caution was thrown to the wind when your fingers found their way into his hair, tugging at the strand slightly whenever you found him pulling back. “Babe, give me more,” you mumbled, pressing yourself even closer to him.

“Wait, Y/N, maybe we should-”

“Please, Chan? Please?” you begged, peppering kissing down his neck, “Just this once?”

At the sound of your whine, Chan flips you onto the couch, so he’s hovering above you. “Who said anything about ‘once?’”

asjdfkl so yeah, thoughts on a part 2??????? I kinda wanted to flesh out more of their backstory and maybe see what happens next?? and kinda wanted to delve in further into the other exes but then i realized it would’ve been wayyyyyyy too much and i apologize for all the freakishly long fics i write OTL also lmk if you know what skz in this fic sings bc yall a real one if yall do !!!

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