#yall are sick in the head and entitled as fuck

[asmallcafethatslove]

not ppl writing fanfics about the matty healy situation

[evelynsgarden]

Stop and read please ❤️

Lmfao first post on this account (deleted the one I used to post fics on so nobody better come at me with “you don’t post you shouldn’t have an opinion) I’ve been here for 2 years now (I’m about to be 19 and wasn’t always reading smut for context) and I just have a few opinions I wanna share

The way yall treat TLOU fanfic writers (specifically Abby and Ellie writers) is so disgusting 💀

People are allowed to write smut or any other form of fanfiction without being labeled a porn “addict” and having insults thrown at them. You people label anything you slightly dislike as wrong and it’s so weird. YOU ARE WEIRD.

You people seriously wouldn’t last a on Ao3.

I definitely don’t disagree in regards to the fact that there’s a lot of smut on both tags HOWEVER SCROLL. I’m saying this as someone who breathes for angst.

You all seriously need to get a grip. People go around here with MDNI and “18+”

On their accounts and then act like CHILDREN.

On another note if an author doesn’t make a y/n look like you then don’t read it, or replace details in your head as you read. I’m coming to you as a mixed poc who’s goth. I promise you I’ve been there and I’ve learned to just change the details, it isn’t hard.

Nobody owes anyone inclusivity in fanfics. If you want something you write it, you don’t complain like an entitled child.

You need to grow up. Bullying authors on here is so painfully fucked- I’ve seen the annons and the comments you people leave, it’s genuinely disgusting.

People will ALWAYS miss the point of a character and sexualize them- but you scroll!

I’ve seen countless amazing writers get bullied off this app and given that it’s been two years of this- I’m exhausted.

If anyone has a bone to pick then comment, but I’m seriously so sick of seeing grown people act like children in these tags holyyyyyy-

-An ex writer

❤️

[sunrisevariant]

I’m back on my bullshit pissed as ever at anime fans refusing to be anything other than ableist ✨

There’s recently been a huge rise in an AU in the JJK fandom where Nobara survived Mahito’s attack and wears an eyepatch. All fine and dandy. I don’t mind that one bit. I do believe that her facial injuries would require either reconstructive surgery or something larger than an eye patch to cover the damage, but all in all, I’m content with that. I love Nobara and actively stopped watching after she died for a long while. This AU is a-okay in my books, and I honestly quite enjoy the thought of it.

Until I see how people are drawing it.

Every. Single. Fucking. Post. She just has that inaccurate, stereotypical “Perfectly Normal Eye That’s Just A Little Milky But Otherwise Looks Fine.” No scarring around the eye. No disfigurations. Not even a glass eye. Nothing.

Are we, perhaps, forgetting this scene where you can see Yuji clear through her fucking head??

This one? Remember this?? Ringing any bells??? Yeah that’s a hole in her fucking head

I am so sick and tired of people with physical differences/disabilities/etc having the reality of what their bodies look like being ignored or having their physical traits watered down until they can be shoved right back into conventionally beautiful little boxes wrapped up in pretty pink bows because we can’t be considered beautiful in our differences. And it always, ALWAYS boils down to this: we make able bodied people uncomfortable. We have to censor ourselves because other people feel like they’re entitled to not looking at us in public.

Someone is not less than because of their physical appearance. They are not unworthy of love or acceptance for showing visible signs surviving a severe physical trauma. They are not less beautiful, less acceptable, less anything. They do not deserve to feel shunned, outcasted, or like some alien out of a horror movie just because the Christians got their holy panties in a wad over them looking “demonic”, solely because they are, again, physically different.

Just in case I need to reiterate: HER FUCKING HEAD HAD A HOLE THROUGH IT.

Her eye would be gone! It was completely blown out and unsalvageable! Her face would not look the same! It And guess that? That is fuckin FINE!

She’s allowed to look different! She doesn’t even have to feel “ugly” because of it! Sure, it might take her a while to feel okay about it, she might struggle, but she does not have to view herself as some disgusting monster in this AU just because she’s now different from how she was before Shibuya.

Give her ACCURATE INJURIES. She lost part of her brain, yall! make the recovery process include coming to terms with her new appearance and learning to accept and love herself, INCLUDING her face. Show her getting used to the sudden loss of vision! The change to her depth perception and how she copes with it! How she might struggle with her speech or her coordination after suffering a traumatic brain injury! That makes for SUCH a more compelling story than “ouhhhh she wanted to be a model but now she CAN’T because she’s DISABLED and UGLY!!!”

I am SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of anime fans woobifying injuries that could have killed someone it’s mithrun all fucking over again

[xumoonhao]

when i say this i mean this with as much disgust and vitriol as i can possibly muster up, but kpop stans who care abt whether idols are dating someone are genuinely the most rancid bitches you could ever have the misfortune of knowing. like oh my GOD there is something Legitimately wrong with u if you devote time and effort into finding out whether its true or not, going so far as to seeing if u can find the person, looking up things abt their personal life (which is creepy enough if theyre a semi-public figure but if theyre just somebody random??? u need to be hit by a bus im sorry but there is literally no saving you), and obsessing to the point that youre practically making a fucking conspiracy chart over it. you are a sick person. like if youre like this u need to fucking take a good look at yourself in the mirror and question whether or not you are proud of yourself. like honestly, consider yourself telling someone that you do shit like this. imagine you bring this up to a family member, or a friend, or anyone else in your life you trust; imagine telling them youve stalked someone (or multiple people) online bc you suspect theyre dating an idol you like. can you imagine how odd they would think that is? how strange??? theyd be right. youre a complete fucking weirdo. god.

and like…the worst part abt it is idols arent doing anything wrong if they date someone. if they werent famous, theyd probably have a partner anyways!!! someone theyre dating, or married to, or they might even - gasp - have a family with someone, but they cant (or do it in secret) bc theyre scared or bc their company is stopping them or for w/e other reason they have to hide bc theres unhinged ppl out there who think theyre entitled to live under the fantasy that their idols are free for them to fantasize abt. but its just that; a fantasy. theyre not going to fall for you; they dont even know you, specifically, exist. youre a fan to them. you listen to their music, you watch their videos, you buy the products they advertise. you are a consumer to their brand; they are not your friend, or your confidant, or your lover. but beyond that, theyre a human. love isnt a luxury in this world; its something everyone should be allowed to experience, but some of yall seem to have gotten it in your heads that idols exist solely for your consumption and to be a vessel to push your unrealistic fantasies on, and its sick. youre sick. if you dont respect or like an idol anymore bc theyre dating someone (or even just RUMOURED) to be dating someone, i dont know what to say except get help. idols are people and theyre allowed to date whoever they want, and they should be allowed to do that without having to fear repercussions. i dont know why this has ever been an issue bc its literally not the business of any fans, but some ppl are just so entitled.

[scribe-of-hael]

*holds head in hands*

Tw //mental health issues , depression , anxiety , rant , vent

Guys. I'll be honest. Idk what I'll do without Twitter, it is my biggest followers count. Engagement has been awful and now with the ai bullshit. I've attempted to come here and Bluesky.

I shouldn't have kept my eggs in one basket I know. But social media inna sense is so fucking draining. It so competitive needlessly. Numbers are the value of a person. Feankly my self worth has only gotten worse since being more engaged with it.

"Don't look at the numbers just make art for fun!"

I hear you. I do. But what happens when I need extra funds, have an emergency? The numbers unfortunately. Matter, in that regard. Someone with 100 followers vs 3k , well , the bigger you are the more chance you have things to be seen = sales. That's just the reality of it. Its not me being a hater or Petmistic. That is how it is .

also when social media rewards a certain kind of[f artist vs another. Tumblr rewards fan art and Fandom related content. That's really what it's intentions is for. There are original artists out there but I don't see them half as much as fan artists.

Yall are here for Transformers. That's why yall are here. That's what I'm inot and yall are to. But the second i advertise my art or sales. Its crickets. I'm not blaming anyone, but its so disheartening.

Ppl on Twitter just refused to retweet and now its happening on Bluesky, im frankly sick of the anti social behavior on a fucking Social media website. I've see lots multiple ppl even some of moots. Whi just REFUSE and flat out have said they don't like to rt/reblog because it will "clog up their timeline/dash" and turn their audience away from them .

Artists are seen as machines not ppl with interests or interests in other things in fear of alienating their audiences or making them upset and leave. Indirectly seeing other artists not only as competition but nuisance. In my eyes.

Then I see these same ppl saying this and BEG for funds and angery no one will boost them. Congratulations, you played yourself. You feed into the cycle and now no one wnata to help you back.

The selfishness. God the selfish, entitled and privileged attitude I have seen only grow and multiple since the pandemic. Is disgusting.

Why can't we just fucking help each other. Support each other without some how thinking it will compromise us? We already are having our jobs stolen, our work stolen, our jobs belittled by corps. Is it to much to just help each other? So we can have some sort of peace in mind ?

Battling this depression spell for almost a fucning year. Questioning if I should just stop. Just stop it all. I'm tired. I'm lost. I feel utterly hopless. With current events happening in my country I feel so empty. And I'm scared.

I just ned support in these places . I just feel so gross just sitirng here begging for that. I shouldn't have to. I hate it. But I feel like I don't have a choice.

[spotofjane]

Me: Wow sometimes I just hate men and the way they talk about women! Their entitlement and misogyny is kinda gross!

Gay man who thinks he is exempt from this because he’s gay: ugh you’re so right! men suck 😩😩😩

Me:

[drawlfoy]

Wonders of Ohio P.9

masterlist

requests are closed, but please read this first :)

if you want to be tagged, send an ask or message me!

pairing: draco x reader

request: nope, my original shameless self insert idea lmao

summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for the ride of her life when their exchange student is...a bit strange (but very hot). NOT a nonmagic AU, though you already knew that if you’ve read part 8 ;)

warnings: swearing, mentions of a break in, concerns about a home intruder, objectively the most fluffy scene we’ve gotten so far in this series (hehe), draco being fucking obnoxious and moody (did i mention swearing?)

a/n: ayoooooo so here’s part 9, as promised. i’ve started getting back into the hp universe more and more, so i should probably be picking up my writing soon. i’ve been feeling more myself again!! which is super awesome. i don’t think many people read this series anymore (or my author notes in general but i don’t blame yall) but i’m having a lot of fun writing it, so i’m going to keep going :)

music recs: 

puppy princess -- hot freaks

loverboy -- A-wall

linger -- the cranberries

tags tags tags: @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos

word count: 3.8k :)

Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if Draco deliberately waited until the last minute to tell her family that he was leaving so he could evade her questioning. She tried to talk to him later that evening by knocking on his door, but she was met with complete silence. 

Draco was ignoring her, and she didn’t get why. She’d promised to not tell anyone--even begged for him to trust her and essentially swore on her life--but he still wasn’t acting normal. Perhaps he didn’t want her to badger him with questions about the magical world. 

Or maybe this was an excuse to get away from her.

Y/N swallowed the second possibility and locked it away somewhere out of sight. He’d left without a single word more to her (not even a congratulations for getting into a top 20 school, that loser) and never even bothered telling her when he’d return. And maybe that was the nicest part of it--she could pretend like he was never coming back.

As attractive as that option was, she had to admit that there was a Draco-shaped hole in her passenger car seat every time she drove to school. And in the kitchen when she was studying. And everywhere else he’d once touched. 

“Why do you think he went back?” 

Y/N took a break from reviewing her Art History final exam notes to look up at Lizzy. “Maybe something happened with his dad or he wanted to spend his holidays with his family? It’s probably not that serious.”

“Speaking of his dad, I tried to look up his name and see if anything came up,” Lizzy began. Y/N felt her heart jump into her throat. “Don’t you think it’s kinda sus? I haven’t found anything for him. It’s like he’s been completely wiped off the face of the earth. Do you know anything about it?”

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s any of my business.” Draco’s franticness when she found out lingered in the back of her mind as she chose her words carefully. “I’m sure if he’s a genuine political target, they’ve just scrubbed the web clean of him, being a minor and all.”

“But don’t you think it’s funny that he’s apparently so important but there’s no evidence of him or his father ever existing?”

“Lizzy.” Her voice was firm. “It’s entirely possible that his real name is different. And either way, it’s not our story to uncover. He’s entitled to his own privacy, and if he doesn’t reveal his true identity then we need to respect that.”

“Oooookaaayyyyy, Mother,” said Lizzy. “You’re so fun. You know that, right?”

“It’s my job.”

After the close brush with Lizzy, Y/N avoided the topic of Draco with her friends like wildfire. At the back of her mind, she registered that that was probably more suspicious, but when Sylvia asked her about him during lunch, she finally spun up a story.

“I told him I liked him,” she told everyone, the words stinging her throat. “He doesn’t feel the same way. I just would feel better if we dropped it.”

Her friends reacted immediately with sympathy, telling her that it wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t see her for what she was worth. Somehow, this made her feel worse. She didn’t even need to tell him her feelings to know his thoughts--he didn’t see her as anything but a “muggle”, or whatever he called them. She never stood a chance.

Y/N spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering how things would’ve been different if she was a witch. She didn’t know anything about his world (apart from the fact that they really had a stick up their asses about people knowing of them) but she somehow craved a place in it. Would Draco feel differently towards her if she was magic? 

It was probably better if she didn’t pay too much mind to it, but she couldn’t let the thought go. Every time she shut her eyes at night, the memory of waking up next to Draco replayed in her head, over and over. She would’ve sold her soul to have gone back to that. Would things have been different if she had just...not found the letters? She was driving herself crazy digging through all her interactions with him. There’s no way she was imagining things, and judging by the surprised reactions of her friends when she told them he didn’t reciprocate feelings, she wasn’t the only one who thought something was there. If he was really so disgusted by her and her people, he wouldn’t have let her sleep in his room, in his bed no less. 

As December wore on, her mind began to be occupied by another feverish stream of thoughts. If she didn’t already feel like she was going crazy over the Draco problem, she was going completely insane over the fact that she was misplacing things like crazy and forgetting the most basic of things. It seemed like it was almost every day that she was forgetting where she put her keys (even though she could’ve sworn she’d hung them up by the door) or getting home to find the door already unlocked even though she was sure that she’d locked it behind her. It would’ve creeped her out, but she was really off kilter. It just wasn’t right having Draco away, and the sense of dread she got every time she went by her room just threw her off balance. What if she still had lingering sickness from whatever magical infliction she suffered? 

He really should’ve stuck around to watch after me. Just in case. 

Another thing was bothering her--a name she saw pop up in the pouch from when she went through his letters. It was a small portion of his collection, and she didn’t even think to examine it until after he took them back from her, but she noticed that the name “Pansy Parkinson” came up more than once as a return address. 

Her mind immediately jumped to the worst--Draco was madly in love with another girl, a magical girl, and traveled back home with the express purpose of declaring his neverending devotion for her and complaining about that rat Ohioan muggle that he had to spend his days with. 

Y/N knew it wasn’t healthy, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t quite shake it. The fact that he’d no doubt grown up around girls that would be suitable for him to date was making her physically ill with jealousy, which was probably the most embarrassing part of her feelings for him. Nevermind how much time she spent fantasizing about how soft his hair felt or how his stupidly pretty fingers would feel grazing her skin--she couldn’t even cope with the idea of him existing with other women that were honestly a better choice to him. 

That Christmas was surprisingly bleak. Being an only child always made for a quiet house during the holidays, but the expectation she held of having Draco there set her up for disappointment. Her house felt empty.

“Do you think he’s coming back?” Y/N asked her mother as they did the morning dishes together. 

“Well, I assume so. Why wouldn’t he? He was scheduled to spend the entire year with us. I think that if he’s changed his mind we would at least know by now.”

“What if he’s still deciding?”

“Why, miss him already?” Mrs. Y/L/N’s tone was teasing, but she felt her cheeks grow hot. 

“Quite the contrary. I’m just wondering if I’m about to become the pampered only child again or if I’m going to need to go back into the unglamorous life of sharing the spotlight.”

“Y/N,” her mother tutted. She’d stopped doing the dishes.

Y/N made a point to evade her knowing look. “Mom.” 

Her mother took a breath before answering. “Nothing. As a matter of fact, I did get a letter from him a few days ago. He’s scheduled to return the second week of January, right before school goes back.”

“Oh,” said Y/N. No matter how hard she tried, there’s no way her relief wasn’t visible.

“How’s that for your Christmas gift, hm?” 

“Mom!”

“Hey! Hey, it was a joke,” Mrs. Y/L/N said, throwing her hands up in a “no can do” sort of gesture. “I know that you’re good friends with him is all. Unless…”

“Mom!” Her cheeks were all shades of red.

“All I’m saying is that he seems to enjoy your company.”

“Stockholm syndrome, I’m telling you.” Her explanation of what that meant was on the tip of her tongue before she stopped herself. There was no reason to--the only person who would need that explained to them was no longer on the same continent as her. 

“Whatever you’d like to think.”

~ 

The snowstorm hit them without warning, two days after Christmas. Her parents had left for the night to attend a charity auction, but unfortunately for Y/N, by the time that they realized that their daughter would be snowed in, the roads were too dangerous to drive on. Y/N begrudgingly agreed to do all of the things they told her to--get the generator ready, make sure the fireplace was prepared, and locate all the candles in the house. 

On any normal day, she wouldn’t have been concerned in the slightest, but she’d felt uneasy in her house ever since the night of the break-in, and now that this was the first night she’d have to spend alone, her heart was pounding at the thought of having to sleep in an empty house. Especially if the power was out. Especially when whoever broke in was still on the loose. 

She locked up at dusk, making sure that every entry to her home was completely sealed shut. The generator was in the basement, all set up in the case that the lights went out. She’d located all the bottled water in her house in case the pipes froze, and she finally retired to her room to relax. 

The sense of dread that hovered around Draco’s room was gone, thankfully. The overall feeling of creepiness was just beginning to lose its jarring sting, but she’d never quite been able to shake how many things she misplaced in the beginning of the month. 

She busied herself with mundane activities--she cleaned out her closet, organized her drawers, read, changed her sheets, and finished the last of her homework--but nothing could distract her from the gnawing inside of her. The hairs on the back of her neck constantly stood up, even when she was tucked away in the corner of her room, nestled into her blankets. The tingling was akin to what she felt when she walked into that antique shop on homecoming night--the same night when Draco helped her off her feet and narrowly kept her from throwing up all over Heather.

Looking back on it, she realized that when he grabbed her wrist, he must’ve done something to quell her nausea, something magical. There was no way her carsickness could’ve been able to disappear so quickly. 

Her soliloquy was interrupted by what sounded like footsteps outside. Before she could assess the situation and decide what she was going to do, a boom sounded off in the distance and she was all of a sudden bathed in darkness.

Y/N froze.

Someone was most definitely outside her house, but thankfully she’d locked all the doors. And, thankfully, the boom told her that her fuse box hadn’t been messed with. A tree had probably just fallen on a transformer. 

But those small comforts still didn’t change the fact that she was no longer alone--and not only that, but no longer alone without power. 

Her thoughts were interrupted once again by banging on her front door. Y/N jumped, just barely managing to clap her hand over her mouth to muffle her shriek. She’d seen enough horror movies to know that alerting someone that you were home wasn’t the smartest move. She’d have to be strategic. 

Heart pounding out of her chest, she crept out of her room and down the stairs. The power outage was quite lucky, she realized, as whoever was outside couldn’t see in. The moon only cast a slight light as it reflected off of the snow, so she was going to be able to see the person outside before they would see her.

She squinted from her perch by the base of the staircase. She could make out a silhouette, a tall and lanky one. The weak moonlight reflected off a very light head of hair, and Y/N was struck with a feeling of familiarity.

No way...

Y/N stood frozen for a few seconds as she heard the person knock on the door again. A muffled version of a familiar British voice said, “Is anyone there?”

Throwing all caution to the wind and praying to any higher power that was listening to her that her suspicion was correct, she pushed down on the doorknob and swung it open.

Her heart stopped. 

“Draco? What are you--”

Before she could get another word out of her mouth, she was pulled into the tightest (and snowiest) hug of her life. One of his arms wrapped solidly around her waist, the other reaching further up to her shoulders to hold her closer. He was tall enough in comparison that he could rest his chin on the top of her head while she cautiously clasped her hands around him, breathing in the same soft pine scent that she knew so well.

When he finally let go of her, she noticed that his face was decidedly less pale than what it had been when she first opened the door. At a loss for words, Y/N just made her way behind him and shut the door to keep the storm from blowing any more snowflakes in. She noted that Draco was shaking.

“You’re okay,” he said, his voice low and quiet.

She grinned. “Yeah. Believe it or not, I’m not that scared of the dark.”

He didn’t look nearly as amused, wringing his hands out in front of him instead of meeting her eyes.

“You’re going to freeze to death if you’re gonna just stand there in soaking clothes,” she chided. “And what are you doing back half a month early? I know you must’ve missed me, but I didn’t expect you to miss me THAT much.”

He rolled his eyes, bringing Y/N the comfort that the sarcastic asshole was still in there. “We need to talk.”

“No, what you need to do is get changed into dry clothes,” she said. “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but until we get our generator working, there’s no heat...and I’m not sure if the Ministry is going to like it if I let you die on my watch.”

Even though he didn’t normally laugh at her jokes, he seemed especially solemn when she said this. It became very clear to her then that he regretted his brief display of affection.

“What are you doing, just standing here? Shoo! I don’t want to see you dripping snow all over the rug.” She waved him off until he made his way up the stairs, still eerily silent. 

Once she was sure he was actually getting dressed, she made her way to the kitchen where she started heating up the water. She’d never been more thankful for the fact that they had a gas stove instead of an electric one. 

The tea was almost finished brewing by the time that Draco was back downstairs, perched awkwardly on the couch. She’d never seen his sweater before--it was in a rich forest green with a silver crest of a snake. 

“Are you going to tell me whatever is going on? I’ve never seen you like this before,” asked Y/N as she handed him the mug that she knew to be his favorite.

He took a sip and waited a bit before responding. “I found out some things while I was away.”

“Is that it? Must’ve been something pretty interesting for you to come in here and act like I’m your long lost love or whatever.” She took careful note of how his cheeks were especially pink, but it must’ve been because of the cold.

“I shouldn’t tell you everything, but I think you should probably know the gist of things,” he began. “First of all, I figured out why I couldn’t use the Obliviation cube on you. Also, you have to consent to an Unbreakable Vow.”

“A...what? Care to elaborate? Like, at least a little? Why didn’t it work on me?”

He sighed, a sharp breath of air that left his lungs in a huff. “Because you stumbled upon a very important box that can bestow the gift of magic onto anyone. And since you did something in your dream to try and open it, it permanently took root in you. I tried to reverse it, but there’s always going to be an imprint of magic on you.”

“Sick. So I’m a witch now? Like you?”

“No.” His tone was sour. “No, you’re not. For that to work, there needs to be a ritual actually completed by someone magical. That’s why you got so sick--because you would’ve needed me to help you through your dream sequence and open up the box. So, now that you’ve essentially pushed yourself into the magical world uninvited, I can’t use anything on you that’s catered towards Muggles.”

“Rats,” said Y/N. “That’s no fun. What about the whole part about my safety? And what’s that vow thing?”

“Apparently someone really, really wants that box,” Draco told her. “It doesn’t just give muggles the gift of magic--it can also give current wizards powers that are otherwise completely unavailable to the rest of the population. In the wrong hands, they could wreak havoc on the world. And I’m almost positive they think you have it.”

“Oh…” Everything started falling into place. “So, the break in? That probably was them right? And, uh, let’s say if you feel like maybe someone has been in your house while you’ve been gone? Like, that’s something I should be worried about, right?” 

“Is that happening to you?” His face looked significantly more pale.

Y/N was tempted to tell him no--just to ease his nerves--but something in his look told her that she needed to be truthful. “Um, kind of. You know how I can be forgetful, though. It’s just little things, like sometimes I come home to find that the front door is unlocked when I’m sure I locked it, or I can’t find little things like my car keys and my phone, but it’s all easily explained.”

“I never should’ve left,” he said, tucked his knees up to his chest. “I should’ve known that that was Merlin’s Box.” He swallowed, meeting her eyes with a gaze that looked so forlorn that her heart ached. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, all we have to do is tell them I don’t have the box, right? And then they’ll leave me alone.” 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I assume so, but if they didn’t find the box when they originally ransacked your room and they’re still hanging around, I don’t know what to do. That’s why I can’t obliviate you, the proper way that we use on wizards, because I can’t always be there to save you. Once I’m gone, you’re going to have to manage on your own.”

“Please, Draco,” said Y/N. “People will always talk a big game, but once I pull out my pepper spray it’s over. I can take care of myself! I didn’t need protection while you’re away.”

He smiled then, a small one that seemed more sad than anything. “You sound like me. When I was younger.”

“You probably don’t even know what pepper spray is. What’s that vow thing?”

“You have to promise that you won’t say anything that would reveal what you know about me and my world,” said Draco. “I need to find a wizard to say the incantations, but it shouldn’t be too hard. I ended up telling the Ministry what happened--I’m not going to get sent away as they have a clear record of me at least attempting to wipe your memory and they agree that you need to be able to protect yourself. Unbreakable Vows are just really intense promises. If you break it, you die.”

“Is that your way of saying you don’t really trust my word?”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s required by the Ministry. If you don’t comply, then you’re going to be completely obliviated and then you can have as much fun as you’d like trying to run from whoever that criminal is without even knowing why they’re after you. Oh, and without me.” 

“Then why are you even offering the vow? Don’t you want to go home?”

Draco took a long drink from his mug. “I still have a sentence to carry out. If I go back home, I’ll get sent to the same prison that my father is being held at right now.”

“A...sentence?” Y/N stared at him. “I know you mentioned a punishment, but a sentence?”

He remained silent and refused to meet her eyes.

“Draco, what exactly did you have to do?”

“It’s none of your business,” he snapped. The sudden switch of tone made Y/N start, but he was unwavering in his scowl. “I’d prefer to not think about it.”

“But...Draco…” Y/N cast her gaze to the ground so she didn’t have to see the no doubt furious look in his eyes when she continued to push. “How bad? Do you think that maybe whoever is after me might know that I don’t have the box anymore? And that they might be trying to seek revenge against you for whatever it was that you did instead?”

He didn’t respond.

“Think about it. That would explain why I was untouched this whole time that you were away when they were still keeping tabs on me.”

With a pronounced bonk, he set his mug down on the coffee table. “I’m going to bed.”

She managed to get one more look at his face before he spun around to head up the stairs and was shocked to see what was etched into his face--anger, yes, frustration...and also shame. Unmistakable shame.

final a/n: weeoooooooo i’m like 3 minutes early...this is a monumental moment for my blog. let me know what you guys think (if there’s still people sticking with this series fjkds;al). i am going to go back into my hole and work on some math hw (wonders of ohio y/n vibes...i have low key become her trying to roleplay as a stem girl). the plot is going to thicken and hopefully there will be more fluff soon. i honestly didn’t want to add the hug bc i do want this to be slow burn but it has come to my attention that this is now about 30k words long and i haven’t given y’all so much as an inkling that draco has feelings/anything will happen between them so i gotta give you something to hold you over fjdska;

[1reallylongrat]

Literally almost going to fucking cry right now what the FUCK is wrong with florida what the FUCK is wrong with this country? Do we seriously have our heads so far up our asses that we feel entitled to control the lives and well beings of other people? Are we seriously such pussies that we have throw fucking fits if our children so much as here the word 'gay' or 'trans'. Whats the worst thats going to fucking happen? Your kid will become more confident in knowing who they are? This makes me sick. You think i fucking choose to be like this? do you think i like living with the knowledge that as a Gay Trans POC i might be killed before i reach 30. You think i enjoyed crying myself to sleep because i hate this fucking body and i cant figure out what im supposed to do? I cant count the number of times ive sat on my bathroom floor with a bottle of pills because i know life will be fucking hell for me when i get older because bigots like yall wont allow me basic healthcare. or equal rights. Because some stupid little mistranslated fanfiction about a dead guy "tells" you i dont have the right to existance. I fucking hate yall. And now Rons stupid ass is tryna pick a fight with Disney. I hope they leave. ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

I have ptsd back pain and pain in my right shoulder whenever I'm reminded of the painful moments, out of body experiences where JA hurt me while being vulnerable sexually, emotionally, mentally. I hate that it's close to the spot where my back sprained from falling backwards and catching myself on the steps that night from that fight with mom. Jay hit me with that umbrella higher than that spot, and now they're connected.

Even the times they abandoned me and left me on read, blocked me for months and I had to deal with hallucinations and insomnia, as if jaiden (their little alter identity) would come into my room in the middle of the night to help me sleep. I knew something had to be wrong for all this to come after being heart broken and treated so badly. The emotional abuse and the sexual abuse of boundaries and respect, the being made fun of, pulled back in to be used, then just leaving me again for somebody uglier and meaner than me.

These idiots have no idea and they don't care. And I wish I could pass all that unwanted ptsd back pain, stress, and reminders and memories that I have so they would know exactly how it feels to be the one they tortured for so long, on and off, going back and forth making me the bad guy to when I would pop off cause I had enough of being treated like shit. Like no normal human being with emotions wouldn't have tried to kick both of their asses either. And I'm sick of my dad looking at me crazy that I'm still upset about a bitch that broke my heart, took my money, and gave more to the dumb fat, ugly, rude bitch they were escaping from and cheating on.

I wish they knew how it feels to come home after a long day of work only to find yourself uncontrollable breathing, shaking, paranoid, sad, angry, frustrated, having a panic attack because some other bitch reminded me of them on tinder, so now I can't even dare date any new girls to move on from them.

My trust issues and intimacy scars are still there, strong in fold because of Jay and Ayunna. And I want consequences for both. I want them charged, fucked up in the face, beat till they can't fucking breathe, beat in the same spots in my back and my chest the exact same spots I feel those ptsd burns and pains.

I want them to burn just like they did me.

And it's stupid and senseless how they think they should even be claimed the victim and charge me with harassment to where I could go to jail and I didn't even touch them. I sent texts. So you're telling me my words hurt you that bad, you felt that threatened like a scared little fucking Karen, to get the cops called on me to take me to jail over some fucking texts?

Are you out of your fucking mind??? And you did even more worse shit to me??!! Bitch I can have yo ass go to jail for fraud, stealing money, and clothes from Walmart, and sexual assault, and fucking battery for punching me in my fucking leg because you thought it was funny. You had the audacity to ask me for my bank account numbers when I was drunk to where I couldn't even walk straight, same way you did when you hit me on my back when I could barely walk because you dares me to get high off of the whole blunt, you didn't care. Couldn't even defend myself because I was cross high...and you didn't even ask me for permission on some stupid bdsm shit.

Fucking hate yo black ass and the bitch that you with, still enabling you. Making me think I'm paranoid because I said I'm scared and I wanna leave. Yall made me think everything I did was wrong, and yall were entitled to gaslight me, humiliate me, and guilt trip into saying sorry for my reactions to being miserable and being mistreated, for even just walking out on yall when yall didn't even deserve shit from me.

Yall just wanted to control me, control my self esteem, control how I thought and how I felt about yall, just so you could torture me more for your stupid, sadistic, abusive sex toy, sex slave game. And I'm through with it. I hope the next bitch is smarter enough to catch on quicker and throw yall in jail, call the cops on yall. Let's see how you like being abused like that in there, you wouldn't like it if somebody did it to you, but you still do it to other people, then want to tag team the victim as if I'm in the wrong for being in pain. The pain that you started and brought up, cause yall got shit to deal with. Yo own daddy beat you till you got a cracked skull, so now you think its ok to beat me, because you still hurt by him?

LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR JOCELYN YOU DOING IT JUST LIKE HIM!

FOLLOW IN YOUR DADDY FOOTSTEPS AND SEE WHERE IT GETS YOU.

I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT DUMB BITCH IN THE WHEELCHAIR THAT WHOOPED YO ASS TOO. SOUND LIKE YOU NEED TO HEAL FROM ALL THOSE FUCKING DEMONS INSTEAD TAKING ADVANTAGE OF GIRLS JUST LIKE ME AND THE OLD YOU.

YOU SUCK AT REDEEMING YOURSELF AND HAVE THE BALLS TO POINT THE FINGER AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T DO NOTHING BUT USE MY WORDS.

YOU THE BITCH THAT LIKE PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON WOMEN, CALLING US BITCHES, AND SLUTS, AND DEGRADING THEM JUST BECAUSE "oH iM tRaNs. I dOnT hAvE tO respect women."

You think you can push us around, tell us to bend over so you can penetrate us dry till we bleed, because you don't give a fuck about pleasing women either as a partner. No wonder ayunna asked me to fuck her. You don't like giving head, foreplay, boobs, none of that shit, but just torture it. Torture all of it.

You don't know how to be intimate, only abuse them and make fun of them. You're a tormenter and you'll always be like that. You don't even know how to make love to your soon to be wife, and it's been 2yrs and yall still engaged...the fuck who waits that long to be engaged and still sleeping with other ppl separately. Yall stupid, ignorant asses. Don't know nothing about sex, pleasing a woman, and making love.

No wonder yall separating everything. Even bought your own cats individually. Don't even know how to share or cooperate with other ppl. So damn controlling, you want other people to follow your damn orders with no input, no compromise. Like a fucking tyrant. It's your highway to hell. Lie in it. Die in it. I don't care. But trust, I will beat yo ass like you stole something the next time I see you and that dumb hoe you with. Cause she stupid too. Still letting you get a hall pass, when you can't even follow the rules you agreed to follow with her. You stupid cheating ass. Yall ain't shit.

[babyangel-jpg]

Omg so many people are commenting under this like "this is so cool he didn't have to but he wanted to!" And then others like "he sold his xbox not his childhood away. Y'all saying a kid helping out his family is a failure is why we have self entitled adults" LIKE HOW OLD ARE YALL A 13 YEAR OLD SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BUY HIS MOM A CAR. YALL ARE FR SICK IN THE HEAD FOR EATING THIS SHIT UP AND TRYING TO MAKE A CUTE STORY OUT OF PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. These bitches so fucking crusty they disgust me.

[sheogorad]

[[MORE]]

if you're a fucking transmed you deserve to rot. like actually. I'm 1 day post top surgery, and I gotta say I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. the relief for me personally is massive but I'm also in so much fucking pain and am incredibly uncomfortable. I'm not usually squeamish but my drains make me nauseous. I had to fast, and now I can only eat small bits at a time or else I get mad nausea. it's not easy. it's so not easy. and I've had to go through so much shit to get here, and it's been hard the entire way through and will continue to be as I heal. the fact that this kind of suffering is something yall transmeds think is mandatory in order to be trans is astounding and so so SO selfish. how dare you insist that you must hate your body and yourself, and subject yourself to physical harm and medical intervention in order to be who you are. how fucking dare you. I've bound for almost 3 years now, and every second of it was hell. was it necessary for me, personally? absolutely. was getting surgery necessary for me personally? of course. was going on hormones necessary for me personally? definitely. IS IT NECESSARY FOR EVERYONE? FUCK NO

how fucking dare you insist that you MUST suffer in order to be trans. that you can't just love your body as it is, love your voice, your chest or lack thereof, your genitals, your everything. being trans is not suffering. being trans is a happy thing. I made these changes for myself BC I knew they would make me happier. but it hasn't been easy and I wouldn't EVER think of forcing another trans person to be in such pain all the time, whether it be from binding, tucking, having to inject needles, or anything else. you are allowed to love yourself as is. you are allowed to take your health into consideration and make choices surrounding your transition that you transmed fucks don't see as valid or traditional. you are allowed to be fucking trans and to love it. it is not a fucking illness. we are not sick. we do not need to be fixed. what you want to do with your body in order to feel right is up to you. but forcing other people to live up to your (extremely binary cis oriented might I add) standards just bc you hate yourself and your transness is what's really sick. it's a highkey abusive shame tactic. y'all need fucking therapy.

I'm on a lot of pain meds rn bc as I said, I'm 1 day post op lying in bed in a lot of pain, and it's making me so angry. I wouldn't wish this on anyone!!!!!!!! I'm so happy and relieved but the process is horrendous!!!! binding was horrendous!!!! the fact that this is seen as a necessary step is so fucked up to me. the way y'all transmeds talk remind me of the cis psychologist who assessed me for surgery and a) outed me to my abusive mother and b) wouldn't take me seriously until I cut my hair and started dressing really masc even though I'm more androgynous at heart !!! I cannot believe the way y'all treat your own brethren, your own community, just bc you have self hatred and self worth problems. and don't even get me started on cis transmeds. you're literally just transphobes. trans transmeds are also transphobic but man, if you're cis and you're in this shit you are seriously overstepping and are a MASSIVELY transphobic shitheel who deserves to uhhhh choke!

I literally can't believe the entitled fuckery y'all get up to. and you can't even come for me bitch BC I have done aaaaall the things yall think are mandatory. I'm literally healing from surgery rn. and I STILL think y'all are fucked in the head and need help. how fucking dare you. I could say it over and over again. how fucking dare you. what an absolutely rotten piece of shit do you have to be to insist trans people must have a painful existence in order to be trans? do you know how sick binding has made me? my stomach is fucked up and I need to retrain my lungs to breathe deeper, plus I couldn't work out bc I could literally die if I did that while binding and my dysphoria wouldn't let me unbind. so I'm weak and have gained weight and have nearly cracked my ribs so many times. I almost died last Christmas BC I hiked in the snow while binding and Literally couldn't breathe afterwards. who the fuck would insist that other folks must endure this kind of shit? what kind of sadistic, sick fuck do you have to be to wish that kind of suffering on your own Community? y'all need jesus I stg

[shababyj]

  Suicide…The act of ending one’s own life. Such a strange and selfish thing to do on one hand but on the other, who the fuck ever cared in the first place to even make you consider the alternative??? Such a dark and gray area for some people to go, yet some of us live in a constant state of dying alive every-single-day.

Most people often wonder what was going through their mind or what could have been so bad that they had to end it all? Did YOU bother to ask them how THEY were doing? Every time they seemed off or distant, did you ask them if they wanted to go somewhere and talk? Were You really paying attention?

It is never the world’s responsibility to bring you out of your dark black hole and save you. But it helps to have people in your circle have some understanding and knowledge of what mental illness looks like. It’s not always textbook with everyone or like it is in the movies. I think people are being misled by the media on what REALLY happens when you are hit with this disease.

There are so many mental illnesses that lead to suicidal thought and some end in death by suicide or even murder. I know right…scary huh? But it’s the truth! Most of the time people are so engulfed in their own pain that they don’t realize someone else’s pain. But for the most part, that is not the case. Many people are ignored and told to go to a doctor, get some medicine, have a drink, learn to relax, and the most famous of all, just deal with it. Kinda fucked up, ain’t it!

Some people, like myself, deal with people who claim to be victimized but it’s for pity. They find people who make them look better, make them look superior in a way, and then stomp all over their lives one small fraction at a time. It’s no illness but it is sick. They have several different types of a narcissist and most will play the victim card all the while they are abusing the shit out of you. It’s not treatable and it can be corrected only if the person themselves wanted to do so, but they love to cause pain, so they remain the pieces of shit they are. Be aware they claim the victim card all the while they themselves are indeed the abuser. (NOTE: They will only threaten suicide for attention and pity but would never kill themselves because they hold themselves above all other…only they matter)

Depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, bipolar, postpartum depression, trauma, ADHD, schizophrenia, and many others are main causes of suicide. Today, there are many children and teens committing more suicides than adults. It breaks my heart to know that so many young kids decided not to fight another day. I wish I could have saved them all. 😦 Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to be able to save myself but I keep pushing through all the hell and fire that gets thrown my way.

It seems every single time a celebrity commits suicide, the world notices the sickness that’s spreading. It’s as if it’s contagious in areas where people have more money and fame than they can ask for. But is it all worth it? Sometimes we only see what people want us to see and we forget to ask about the other half we don’t out of fear. The world has been so offended by every damn thing, that even people can’t ask each other if they’re okay without getting offended. You don’t need to know all the details but make sure people know you are there and make sure you damn-well mean it!

Mental pain is brutal, gut-wrenching, and soul-sucking, breaking you down little by little into a person you won’t even recognize. You become edgy and angry at times but other times sad and guilt-stricken. It plagues you with thoughts and emotions that tear away at you piece by piece. You become who the illness creates and feeds; no longer the human you once were.

The sharpness of the pain is suffocating, intoxicating, and makes it hard to breathe. At points in time, it overtakes every ounce of your thoughts and consumes even the greatest parts of your better days. You are manic from the suffering and trying to run away or paranoid with all the voices in your head and they are the only ones who stay. Maybe your eyes are swollen shut from all the pain that melted away only for new hurt to surround you and bring you down once more. Maybe you just can’t escape your own hell.

Suicide to a sick mind and broken soul is a way out for them. An escape to remove the burden they carry and all the baggage they drag around. Coming from personal experience, family and some of your closest friends are often the first to shut you up and turn you away when you need them most. It’s not a secret, but they claim to be tired of hearing about the same shit all the time. But have they ever put themselves in your shoes? Have you ever felt what I felt? Those are questions our people…OUR PEOPLE… need to ask themselves. How would you feel if the roles were reversed???

When no one else will listen to a sick person, they often isolate and disassociate with life and the things they used to enjoy. Happiness doesn’t come by all that often so solitude and disconnect is often the next step. Many times you will still see the laughter here and there but it won’t be the same as before. Hurt people tend to replace joy with other habits such as sleeping a lot, staying locked away from others, not going out with friends, drugs, smoking, and alcohol. Some even form an eating habit.

When all else fails and you have nothing left to pull you out of the darkness because all your cries for help faltered; you succumb to your own self-destruction. You might start cutting yourself (my specialty once) to relieve the emotional pain through physical drainage. It brings relief for a time and leaves a scar that tells your stories painful truth. You might even start to starve yourself thinking it will starve the pain, or feed it and binge feed every single ache and then some may even make themselves vomit. There are so many ways that people deal with pain and it only leads to other illnesses.

At last, no one hears your cries or bothered to help you in your time of need. Hell, maybe some didn’t even believe your pain was real. Some thought it was fake or made up and some thought you were strong enough to handle it. The fact is at some point, every single one of us breaks. We shatter like glass and we struggle like hell if we have to pick up all the pieces…especially alone. How overwhelming for a sick person, right? It becomes too much and they only see the shattered pieces and make a decision to end it all.

No one just decides they want to die just because. No one knows the pain of another but with some strong understanding of human life and the way the mind work, you can potentially save a life. These people are broken individuals that lack something and are tired of pain. Meanwhile, you are parading all the joy you have in your life in front their faces while they are just asking for your time and understanding. Now time is up and you were never there and they are devastated that they have to turn to the only thing that ends it all…the bullet, the knife, the razor blade, the rope, the pills…and most of the time those things are always available and always work correctly in their favor.

There is no coming back from the dead. Someone is suffering in your life and I promise you, even if you think you know them well, they have thought about ending themselves. It’s not uncommon for even the happiest person on a bad day to think about suicide. Sometimes there are no warning signs and we have to pay attention to our people, especially our children and teens. At some point and time, we will all have the blues but not everyone will fall victim to a serious mental illness.

Most men don’t express their feelings well and they are left behind when it comes to suicide prevention. We need to let the men in our lives know that they don’t always have to be the strong one, the tough guy and the rock for everyone. They can break down and cry and have moments of weakness whenever it may be. They are entitled to be an emotional wreck just like us women.  It’s okay to be a man and be tough and still know that when it hurts, it hurts, and its okay to express it.

The big thing we fail women on is postpartum depression.  I think more a lot of women, that’s where the illness began. We are shamed as fat, not losing enough weight after birth, not having enough energy, not keeping ourselves up,  not being the once amazing lover, not having time to do work, not being the good enough mother and wife, and we are exhausted. Someone is always criticizing bottle feeding, breastfeeding, cloth diapers, disposable diapers, pacifiers, and co-sleeping and all that bullshit. Fuck what you and everybody else thinks. So what if your husband’s mother wants this or your mom wants that and his or her sisters thinks that’s not good enough….FUCK THEM ALL!!! You are the momma and that baby is you and your husbands…do it yall way!!!!

The intimidation is causing more women after childbirth to stay in this depression longer than the typical postpardum time. It’s ridiculous that people have to throw so much bullshit at a new mom or dad for that matter. It breaks you down when you need your strength the most. It continues a destructive path because of hormones imbalances and lack of sleep and major life changes. Mothers are ending their life when their children need them most and I believe it all started in this very personally important period. Selfish? Maybe but its all personal opinion.

Photo by NIKOLAY OSMACHKO on Pexels.com

I think we all should help each other in our most vulnerable moments. A hug or a simple talk would most likely help anyone. For the new mom or dad, a new coffee maker or a night out would help. For the person who is being bullied, don’t justify the bully and disable the victim (see narcissism). Always know that someone you run into every single day is tired of living and is waiting for someone to give them some kind of hope. Be paying close attention.

I am 36 years old and I suffer from ADD-ADHD combined type and OCD. I have been diagnosed with manic depression before, now called Bipolar depression, but I am better than I used to be. I have anxiety brought on by my ADHD but on medicine, it is a lot better and manageable. I have PTSD brought on by the trauma of my daughter’s heart defect diagnoses and the events to follow. The thought of facing losing your child is unbearable and seeing what she went through was very traumatic for me. The worst part of it was I was still in the postpartum period even when she had her open heart surgery, which was the most debilitating and painful place in my life I have ever been. I am the victim of narcissist abuse. My husband, myself and my daughter are all victims of these people’s selfishness and even once we are free, damage remains done. But they always lose because playing the victim as a bully for so long only gets you found out about. Keep on playing the games while I keep on laughing and moving forward with my family.

Suicide: Are You Dying Enough Yet? Suicide...The act of ending one's own life. Such a strange and selfish thing to do on one hand but on the other, who the fuck ever cared in the first place to even make you consider the alternative???

[peachiejihoonie]

bae jinyoung - demigod!au; demeter

honestly, the boy is just very misunderstood

he lived in the big city near the piers and beaches 

him and his father ran a flower shop in that city and jinyoung loved it 

he loved having the big and busy city life but also being able to see the sea and his flower shop for relaxation 

it was a nice balance 

he loved his father deeply since they only had each other 

so when he was brought to camp he was furious, he hated it 

he wanted to go back to his comfortable home, plus his dad was alone when he wasn’t there

that’s how he got his cold image at camp half blood 

he didn’t talk to many people, he never shared his life, heck people barely knew his last name

“bong jinyoung?? bing jingyoung” the hermes cabin would giggle

he was exactly what you expected, bad at almost everything 

he couldn’t get up the lava wall, sucked at capture the flag, couldn’t carry a sword and slept through greek mythology, history and language 

he was good at harvesting of course and had all the basic demeter children skills 

one he didn’t reveal was that he could teleport (geeky i know)

he can think of any plant to swallow him up and take him somewhere else 

he’s still working on the distance (which is why he hasn’t escaped and went home yet) but i mean he loves beating everyone to the showers 

so one day he was assigned to fix up all the wall plants along the cabin and change the ones hanging on the porch 

head counselor euiwoong was getting sick of him being lazy 

as he was throwing out the vines, he didn’t pay attention to the people that were walking about 

and you were a bit too engrossed in your book to pay attention to the ground

so guess who tripped over the vines?? you! 

and he turns around, slightly annoyed cause whats the commotion but immediately feels guilty as he hears people laughing at you for tripping face first into the dirt road

he kneels down next to you a little bit of second hand embarrassment is seen on his face

“uh hey sorry, are you okay??” he’s kinda awkward cause he doesn’t really talk to people

“yea yea,” you get up and dust yourself and the book off “just try not to leave your vines off the main road yea?” 

“okay” and he just returns to the plants on the cabin, leaving the vines on the ground

you raise a brow did this boy straight up ignore me?

and he isn’t he’s just being the normal demeter kid he is  

as the stubborn athena child, you don’t accept just an “okay”, you march back up to him 

“how dare you, can’t you see that you’re being an inconvenience to the rest of the campers?” 

“no one is here?” he turns back at you and motions to the empty ground

“but yea, what if someone else comes by and trips like i did?” 

“shouldn’t they be more careful? i mean you were the one reading and not paying attention to the road” 

you kinda want to stab him at this point, but he really doesn’t give two flying fucks and goes back to wall vine set up thing

and you stomped off, a little angered

and the next time you guys meet, you guys were having sword training class and were assigned as each other’s partner 

you being athena’s child were easily capable of adjusting to any sort of weapon whereas he wasn’t experienced much in sword fighting 

so you easily have the tip of your blade at his chest plate in a few swings

he just rolls his eyes, admitting defeat and smacking his blade into yours to knock it off

“you should try to bend your knees in the first position in order to be more steady as you start” you smirked, remembering the time he tripped you at the cabins 

this was payback 

but he’s ignoring you he’s actually just spacing out honestly

and you’re like “uh hello are you paying attention??” 

he shakes his head, snapping back to reality and you’re rolling your eyes 

“cmon, the sword isn’t gonna strike without you” 

and he’s back at it again,

with each defeat, he gets more and more stubborn

he isn’t frustrated, he’s much more patient then you expected

maybe it’s the way you’re shouting commands and tips at him with each battle 

and he hates being told what to do

“normally people would’ve thrown their sword and spit curse words by now”

he just shrugs, panting and rolling into a ball to rest

“hey get up, spread your arms out to open your lungs to take in more air” you kick at his side 

and he groans and gets back up 

god you were such an annoying know it all athena kid

and through out this entire class he hasn’t even spoke a single word to you

every week you guys have this class together and it’s the same routine

and honestly he gets better but of course with new weapons means a fresh start

one time, you guys stayed after class was over just to keep sparring 

at a tired moment, you both lied down on the grass, watching the clouds move 

“you know, i really hate this place” he sighs, this being one of the only times he ever talked first 

“what really? why?” you’re shook because you loved this place 

“i like my home, i miss my home, my flower shop, my dad, the city, it’s just so empty” 

“man, lucky you” you sighed “you have somewhere to go back to” 

and now hes shook 

“hUH?” 

you explained how your mom, athena, met your dad, a high rank military soldier at one of the bases  

they fell in love of course but they only had each other, no other families within reach

so when your mom gave birth to you, she had no where to put you and your father refused adoption 

at first, you mom had found a cousin of his, but they refused to raise you because you were too problematic

your mom had laid out many conditions and rules about you and they just couldn’t handle such responsibility 

and her brother apollo already forsaw you’re future with them and lets just say its pretty dark 

he would know i mean the dude is the sun god

“it must be nice huh? i don’t even know my dad, he doesn’t have time for me” 

and it just clicked in his brain, he’s a brat

he couldn’t apprecirate what he already had

he still has his father, his home

and the next day you’ve never seen him so motivated during battle class 

his sword swung so fast and you weren’t used to it 

by the end of the first spar, you were panting

and you saw something you never thought you ever would

he was smirking 

and you scoffed at his sudden confidence, unsure as to what sparked inside of him 

dusting yourself off, you cleared your throat, 

“you still need some work” 

and you went back to sparring 

you started to notice that he was smiling when you guys were getting ready for the next round 

he would actually start conversations between battles and he was actually a pretty silly dude

he started finding motivation somehow, and it has something to do with you

at first he just wanted to defeat you and you’re know it all ass 

but you started to realize that he’d always sit by you during the campfire (which he only recently started attending)

he also asked you about greek history and mythology

so you guys end up studying together as well 

wow yall battlin with weapons and books 

and you started getting sus 

like is he into you ?????? 

but he really doesn’t show many signs otherwise

not much blushies or flusterness, just a lot of attachment 

so maybe he just really saw you as a friend

did your heart just fall into your stomach ?? 

nO! cause you’re an athena kid ! you don’t fall for anyone psh !!! 

aka you’re just repressing them feelings 

too bad he actually likes you too 

though he may be lookin like a blank rock

everytime you two are alone together (all the time) he’s gettin butterflies all over his stomach 

like his tummy is a snowglobe of butterflies

and he thinks he’s sending signals by being with you and only you 

but you’re a cold ice cube too so he doesn’t know how to approach this situation 

and guys are just stuck 

both too scared to say anything 

and one time, jinyoung needs a break from all the book reading and wants to walk in the forest 

you go with him reluctantly cause you love books 

“god what a nerd”

“whatever flower boy” 

and he’s walking ahead of you, blushing 

why did that sound so cute to him? it just a simple name?? 

there’s a flower that you guys spot 

and you’re like oh hey gardenias how pretty

“yea, you know they mean sweetness and purity?”

“no??? they mean secret love u idiot, some demeter child you are dafawk???” 

and now he has his eyebrows raised 

“my mom literally created the language of flowers, are you really gonna try arguing with me ??” 

“books don’t lie sir” 

and you both whip to look at each other 

the eye contact is overwhelming, it’s lw hot, but also playful??? but you’re both ready to roast each other at the campfire 

you guys can’t seem to form words with your thoughts though 

you’re both kinda annoyed 

not only with some tiny argument, but also those compressed feelings are rising

“why can’t you just admit things for once” he bursted before you could you first, 

“you’re so stubborn for a boring demeter child”

“you’re the stubborn one”

“yea, but that’s expected of me”

“uuuUUuUUUuGGHhHHhHH yOU aRE sO aNno YinGGG, first, you have to lecture me nonstop, second you’re so self entitled, thirdly you such a annoying knowitall and lastly you’re still so vulnerable and I still have such a strong urge to care for you because you’re YOU. and i like YOU. oF ALL  CAMPERS AND CHILD OF ALL THE GODS, YOU. sOME KNOWITALL ATHENA CHILD”

silence, silence so deadly that hades himself must’ve created it his face is as a red a tomato and all he can think about is running away and hiding underneath this sheets and screaming

and thats what happens suddenly he’s engulfed in a flower and sucked into the earth

for the first thirty seconds you’re speechless, unaware as to what just happened and then you scream 

meanwhile, jinyoung sprouts out of a potted plant on his nightstand in his cabin he’s literally thrown out of the flower and rolls onto the floor, covered in petals 

everyone is shook

“d-did y-you j-j-ju-just c-co-come ou-out of a fl-fLOWER???” euiwoong freaks out 

and now everyone is screaming 

“i-i can explain..” jinyoung is literally going to become a tomato

“but can someone go get y.n in the woods???????” he nervously chuckled

and the sound of your name gives him ptsd cause he literally just confessed to you

euiwoong takes you back to your dorm, you were no longer freaked at that point but just needed some serenity

euiwoong just explains that jinyoung can teleport through plants 

“yea, no one has had that demeter power for a while, even we were shook" 

you don’t ask to see him though, you just needed to recollect yourself

you couldn’t face him

you’re feelings were out of the roof now there’s no way you’d be able to look at him without getting nervous 

and he’s curled up underneath his sheets, regretting everything he did that day 

his siblings think hes untouchable now

like yo, he’s all mighty powerful and scary cold 

now you guys are extremely awkward 

he sees you run off to you siblings asap during weapons class 

and he’s kinda hurt honestly 

like you could’ve at least rejected him to his face, not full on ghost him 

but at the same time he understood since he kinda abruptly said he like you, he probably surprised you 

but he still couldn’t help but hear his heart cracking

and you’re not even trying to break his heart

you’re just too awkward, what an athena move 

you can’t face you’re own feelings, and its okai, it's hard i feel 

everytime jinyoung walks past your face turns red

when his name is brought up you kinda steer out of the conversation 

and the only reason why his name keeps being brought up is because you’re siblings know and looooooooove making fun of you 

even you’re quiet brother minhyun finds it amusing 

they’d always find any reason to say his name, anytime anywhere 

“ooh the strawberries are blooming is jINYOUNG piCkING THEM???

him and minhyun end up sitting next to each other in mythology 

“oh, you’re jinyoung huh???” he’s making the connections 

 “you know me?” the younger asked, very quietly 

“how could i not, you’re the talk of the talk in the athena cabin” (old dad terms wtf minhyun)

“oh cause y.n basically rejected me” he sighs “i get it, what a joke, can’t believe i thought i even had a shot” 

and minhyun blinks his eyes in confusion

“she rejected you??????????” he scrunches his eyebrows 

“well no, she kinda just left me hanging and ignores me now, so i have to assume it’s a rejection” 

and he laughs

and jinyoung has math equations all around his head (you kno the meme) 

“you guys were made for each other oh my lordy” he covered his mouth with one hand and the other patting the smaller one’s back “send her some flowers or something, i’ll deliver them” 

and thats how you find gardenias on your bed, with a small note 

‘secret love” 

i see him have some pretty sloopy handwriting and you kinda smile at it

and you send one back with a simple note 

‘secret love’ 

and he’s squishy and grinning to himself 

kicking his bed sheets in excitement, trying to refrain from jumping around 

his siblings are so done with him 

and so during breakfast the next morning, he swings an arm around you 

“hey you” he grinned

“jinyoung?????” you look up at him surprised 

the entire athena cabin is staring in amusement

and he’s immediately back to being flustered 

“jihoon said i should be smooth to impress you” he confessed, taking his arm back 

and you laugh and he ends up giggling with you

everything is back to normal 

ya’ll are the very quiet camp couple 

but you guys can get pretty wild together 

at the fireworks, you guys were pretty chill

just on a towel watching the fireworks in each others arms, unbothered 

and everyone is like ‘awwwweeeewwew cuuuute” 

but one time you guys were alone, just having your own picnic at the edge of the forest 

you two were nonstop laughing 

he would continuously make dumb faces at you 

and the more you smile, the more he would too

and it becomes a reoccurring routine 

where guys just sit outside 

whether it be studying, reading, growing flowers, trying his new recipe for brownies, or just laying in silence 

you were reading a book once, and suddenly a small flower grows in between your eyes and the book 

and it tickles your nose 

and your scrunching your nose at jinyoung and you both giggle 

he finds you so adorable during these peaceful times 

very unlike your uptight athena side 

he has a habit of playing with your fingers 

like you’re both on your way to the mess hall and he has one of your hands in his two hands and he’s playing with your fingers 

not even like intertwining them

just folding them, pressing at the pads of your fingertips and joints, drawing little pictures on your palms 

and you help him open up and the demeter cabin sees it 

they re-welcome him as an official sibling and are genuine friends/siblings 

imagine him taking you back to his hometown 

he tours you around the big city and you’re so fascinated by the buildings 

but then he even takes you to piers and beach that are like a bus stop away

and you’re just in awe 

“they’re right next to each other ???? buildings AND oceans ???” 

he’s overjoyed to see you appreciate the scenic views that he too fell for too 

and plus he fell for you too 

as much his dad wants you two enjoy your little couple vacation 

one day he needs to do a huge delivery so he asks jinyoung to watch the store 

and you’re much more excited than he was expecting cause he was feelin sorry 

“babe i’m sorry we ha-” 

“omg we get to run the flower shop??!?!???!!?!” you’re squealing and he’s blinking his eyes in confusion 

it’s really chill though 

he mostly handles all the buisness stuff while you just finish up your book next to him 

“jinyoung, i haven’t seen you in so long !” a longtime mom/costumer would greet him 

and in that moment you were talking to her 5 year old son, teaching him the meaning of certain flowers which you had learned from him 

and you and her son start giggling and you give him one the flowers, sliding it on top of his ear, and hoped that jinyoung wouldn’t mind 

“awe, you’re girlfriend seems very sweet” she would compliment 

“yea, she’s definitely a keeper” he would blush, smiling and looking down at the register 

if anyone was curious, the city i was basing jinyoung’s hometown was san francisco, ca in the u.s, mainly downtown sf and the ferry building + piers  :-)) 

and sorry i took so long, thnks 4 being patient w/ me !!! 

[churchyardgrim]

stupid shitty rant bc I have too many thoughts in my head and I have to get them down somewhere and twitter isn’t doing it for me

you have to make the distinction, first off, between propaganda media and actual people. of course the news is going to paint any resistance as unreasonable and mindlessly violent, THAT’S WHAT PROPAGANDA DOES. I’m not even convinced centrists are a real thing that exists, I’ve never once seen an actual person sincerely say that both sides are the same. I’ve seen trolls saying it, I’ve seen the news saying it, I’ve seen fascists lying about who they are saying it to discredit people they don’t like, but not once have I seen someone sincerely believe it.

I also just love the willful misinterpretation of things that actual people have said. “slur-laden ranting at people on twitter doesn’t work to accomplish your goals” DOES NOT MEAN “I want you personally to lie down in front of a tank, don’t even yell while they kill you”. I’d fucking love to know where yall are getting the idea that it does.

simple q&a: do you want people to stop being fascists? if yes, why would you continue to use methods we know for a fact won’t make them stop being fascists?

“but wwii-” yes and we remember how well that went don’t we? we remember the death tolls? we remember how bad things got before they stopped? do we want to repeat that?

the french revolution is a hot topic for idolization right now isn’t it, I guess all the poor people who died were just acceptable collateral? and it was totally fine when the leaders of the revolt found themselves in line for their own death machine? because that shit was acceptable was it?

and I love, I just fucking love that this will be translated as “don’t move, don’t speak, don’t even feel angry, just let it all happen” even though I am saying nothing of the sort. you are so eager to put words in peoples mouths, so eager to lash out and vent and act on your anger, you just want to do things that feel good instead of doing something about the fucking problem.

I am not, under any circumstances, saying that every oppressed person has the obligation to meekly go to their oppressors and politely ask for their human rights. I am fucking furious that my words can be so easily twisted. “oh you said X which obviously implies Y” stop fucking reaching! I am so goddamn tired of trying to explain myself and having people explode at me, saying I’ve said things that I patently did not say, and when I try to explain that that’s not at all what I said, I just get screamed at more for trying to backpedal, because obviously their bizarro assumption of what they think I said is the truth, and anything I try to say to clarify is a lie to cover my own ass, when I can’t even comprehend how they got from A to B on this one and it’s just confusing and painful and maybe I did say that without meaning to? maybe I misunderstood my own position? maybe I’m fucking sick of being gaslighted???

what I am saying is that I, as a privileged person, have the ability and the responsibility to talk to people who are my peers and communicate with them. we know, as a documented fact, that that method works. not 100% of the time, fucking obviously, but a damn sight more than screaming and throwing things does.

and because I have to cover every single possible base here, no this does not apply to actual self defense. if someone is threatening violence on you, or attempting violence on you, of fucking course no rational person expects you to sit still and take it quietly. what the fuck kind of lunatics have you been interacting with that you think that’s even remotely close to the words coming out of my mouth? if someone is fighting you, fight back, fucking obviously. 

yes there will always be people who are too hateful to be convinced, too wedded to their own false superiority, and no, I don’t have a good answer for how to deal with those people. I don’t pretend to know everything. but the ones that can be convinced, should be.

nothing I have said translates to “you’re not entitled to your own feelings of anger and justified resentment, and have no right to express them” fucking. nothing. but there is a grand canyon sized difference between expressing justified anger and trying to solve the problem. don’t pretend your venting is trying to be productive, the problem at hand requires a different method and you know it. you cannot solve both impetuses at once; scream, vent, throw things, do whatever you feel you have to, and then start work on fixing the problem. a lot of what I’m hearing parses as “fuck you of course this will work, I am entitled to my anger so it follows that expressing it will fix the problem” and I honestly can’t tell if that’s actually what’s being said but it sure damn sounds like it

a lot of this is probably a product of aspiebrain; I don’t see why people persist with inefficient ineffective methods when there are what seems to me like better options. I don’t understand why people react to things that I have not said, and ignore the words that I did say. I can’t imagine ever thinking that screaming my anger at a broken car will fix the car. and I am legitimately terrified of the open war that I keep seeing advocated for.

I don’t have all the answers. but I do not trust people who say that they do.

[brujahinaskirt]

YOUNG MILLENNIALS. Listen, I gotta tell you all something about your student habits, because I’m sick of hearing older folks who’ve never set foot in a classroom with millennials dictate your behavior to me.

I’m a “middle child” millennial and a college instructor. Specifically, I teach writing – creative, persuasive, and analytical. Thanks to my subject, I’ve the good fortune of teaching diverse age groups. So let’s talk about you, wee millennials.

Boomers pretty regularly chime in to tell you that you’re the worst generation of students to ever punch and kick your way up to academia. I don’t have to recap this, right? That you have no attention span, that you’re inherently disrespectful, that you’re as-a-rule entitled, and that – in so many words – your brains have been somehow blunted by the media you consume, leaving you with heads full of unimaginative kibble.

This familiar? I fucking bet it is. People have been blasting you with this all your life, probably. But you know what I see in you the most? It’s not entitlement. It’s not inattention. It’s fear of failing.

I can see so many of you feel unsure of yourself in class. You’re used to being told that your ideas are arrogant and underformed, maybe. Maybe you were from the GiftedTM child echelons, pressured by expectations so intense you now equate difficult tasks with unworthiness or low intelligence. Look, whatever the reason: as a generation, and as an age group, so many of you have already gagged yourselves before you even step into my room, before you even hit twenty-one. You’re an uncomfortable kind of quiet. The restless, disconcerting quiet you get when you shake the shit out of a soda can – when you can squeeze your palm tight and actually feel the chemical reactions trapped behind the tin.

Some of you deflect that fear by avoiding interacting with me and trying to hide among your classmates. Some of you ignore the reading material and assignments, using underpreparation as an excuse not to try. But when you overcome that – when, with a little coaxing, you commit to poking out of your bubble of shame – I want you to know that you consistently amaze me. 

God, I wish you could see yourselves thinking things through together like I see you do every day. You’re bar none my brightest, most argumentative, most intellectually courageous students. Your minds crank and turn in these wild right angles. You all are like baby spiders, jumping between diverse topics connected by gossamer threads so novel and so new, sometimes I take longer to map them than you do. You are the ones who ask questions I can’t answer off the cuff. You’re willing to take risks, to go places, and to work through your emotions openly in a way my older students rarely do.

Do you know the raw, authentic, one-of-a-kind benefit that is to a classroom? In case you don’t, let me tell you as a teacher that in a classroom full of tuned-in young millennials, I know someone is going to walk out of that course with prejudices challenged and assumptions shaken in special ways I, as an instructor, cannot recreate by myself. You don’t make me ugh and whine to my colleagues. I love having you in class. When I have a room full of energized young millennials – those who have decided to refuse to feel ashamed of their youth – I never have dead air. I always have debates and passions and questions. That’s a professor’s dream.

Sure, I often have to chide a sprinkling of you for chronic redditing in class (because somebody doesn’t realize those bay windows behind you reflect screens), and yeah, you have what we’ll gently call a “creative wordcount inflation” problem. (Dude, look at what I do; I know the difference between double-space and triple-space action. C’mon.) But that’s a maturity and empathy thing, not a generational thing; most of you snap out of it and grow up fast once you realize I’m a human, too. The rest of those anti-millennial stereotypes are pure whipped bullshit.

You’ve been pitted against rigid expectations of a limited definition of greatness all while being heaped with extreme economic anxiety and condescending noise for so long. So my advice to the millennial in undergrad – or any school – is to try, bit-by-bit or in big leaps, to let that millennial stereotype the world thrusts upon you go.  Fuck anyone who goes out of their hoary-ass way to give you an inferiority complex about how the rest of the world sees you. The fact is, yes: you’ve grown up with a powerful tool at your fingertips – a collection of data and connectivity your elders didn’t have – and it’s shaped you into something thoughtful, dreamy, righteous, and intense. You are so full of new ideas and questions. The best thing you can do for yourselves is to open the fucking soda, babies, and give yourself a chance to think openly and beautifully. You may misstep here and there, you may make some messes, but whatever they may tell you -- you’re supposed to do that. That’s how you change and make change. You won’t regret it.

Yall frustrate the hell out of me sometimes, and sometimes I have trouble convincing you that you’re not the hapless, hopeless kids everyone has been so condescendingly saying you are. But you’re worth it. Even if you don’t think you are yet – you’re worth it to me.

P.S. IT’S FUCKING ALWAYS THE VERY MATURE & RESPECTFUL BOOMERS WHO CAN’T GET THE FUCK OFF THEIR PHONES

[torturedlustxxx]

Peep Me Real Quick: MIRROR TRUTH (COVID-19 REVELATION)

This post is real lengthy, so scroll past if that's not your thing. STRUGGLE OLYMPICS/RESPECTABILITY POLITICS WILL IMMEDIATELY GET YOUR STUPID ASS BLOCKED!!

So, I was at work last week and shit. I was chatting with a co-worker and she told me that there was a co-worker at our store that was under suspicion of having COVID-19. so she was gone for a few days, and I’m thinking she’s gonna be put under quarantine. Today, her stupid ass came into the store, and while I was getting ready to hit the floor (I had just clocked in), I seen her ass coughing in one of the aisles without covering her mouth. I straight up said “FUCK THIS BULLSHIT” and got my shit and left.

As an “essential” employee, I can’t understand why I’m considered essential, and we aren’t even getting any sanitation supplies to still stay open due to what we receive having to be donated to local hospitals in the area. Regardless of that, I can’t see myself willingly go into my job knowing that there’s someone working in areas I frequent that could still possibly be sick. My job doesn’t even give us PPE to do our job knowing that we still get numerous customers daily. I turned into a complete wreck wondering if I could be possibly bringing the virus home to my parents(who have pre-existing conditions) and a young little sister. As a retail employee, I stand with workers in retail, as well as the medical field being that they have to deal with this shit up front and directly with patients. With retail and fast food/food service employees, we really could be at home protecting ourselves, but we cant thanks to mortgage and rent still continuing to ask for money to keep roofs over our heads, as well as government mandates . At this point, if not already, I hope these wealthy companies, along with Trump, fall hard to the ground and suffer hard now and in the later years. I feel like shit for having to leave, knowing the money I make helps my parents out to pay for where we live and keep grocery money plentiful. At one point, I just sit here and ask myself, “Is this job even really worth it” ? I was told by people that I should never burn bridges with jobs, but I’m here to say these bosses nowadays can eat a fat dick. If you wanna go home and protect yourself, don't feel one bit guilty. If you still out there working, I commend and salute you to the fullest. Don’t be a fool like me. I was desperate for money, doing what I could to be my own man cuz it was hella hard for me to get a job at one point in life, as well as having close friends and family get down in street life to make ends meet. I was one of a select few that made it out the hood that still respected me and kept in touch with me still to this day. I was “the example” in my later years thanks to ma n pa. In turn, I started to realize lately that my thirst and having the wrong people in my corner could’ve nearly lead me to death, if not already due to times we’re living in. Just because you got a job, doesn't necessarily mean that it’s doing anything for you outside of giving you jack shit for a check. Take your life into perspective if you can. I didn’t and sucked dick to keep a job and do for my fam cuz I was perceived as lazy and “entitled” for no absolute reason. Be safe out there yall, I FUCKING MEAN IT!!!!!!!!! I want the best for us all........

STAY AT HOME

WASH YOUR HANDS

PRACTICE CAUTION