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aphrodite-made-me-write-it · 4 years ago

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Everything Stays

Part Two: Of Bliss, Of Blood

(A/N) Okay WOW. I did not expect the response I got from part one! Thank you so much for all the feedback!! I’m glad you guys like it!! Everyone who asked to be tagged, I’m pretty sure I got all of you. If you wanna be tagged, lemme know! This is gonna be another one of my dark fics, full of existential dread. Guess who read a lot of Anne Rice as a Youth? The people have spoken, and the people want more Natasha and so I must provide! also the word ‘simp’ comes from the early 1900s / late 1890′s. ur welcome

♫ ♫ ♫ I really outdid myself with this one

Rating: M (Mature; Dark Content Ahead)

Warnings: Should be obvious but we have blood here; Fury/Romanoff Father/Daughter relationship bc I need it and i am selfish; Sexual Tension Babes!!; Foul Language; Existentialism; Overall Melancholy

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Vampire!Reader (F)

Chapter Word Count: 4,971

Total Word Count: 14,880

Synopsis: You adjust to your new second life; You and Natasha have a Moment; You reconnect with an old friend.

| i | ii | iii | iv | coming soon |

god i wish that straw were me

It’s been two weeks since you woke up from your magically-induced hibernation. You have much better control over your thirst for blood now that you can simply grab a bag from the ‘minifridge’ in your room. You don’t blame the others for not wanting to see you feed - it’s rather gross in your opinion, as well.

Natasha helped you decorate, particularly to cover the giant windows in your room with large, deep purple curtains. Your days are split between researching ancient demonic cults and catching up with all that lost time. The first time you see a television, you can’t stop gawking at it like a loon. While some of the others found it endearing, Steve was the supportive one for the most part. Turns out, he does know a thing or two about waking up in a different time.

Your nights, though, are spent in solitude. You don’t need to sleep, not really - and you’ve had plenty of sleep, anyway - so nights are what you’d consider your time to do whatever you want outside of prying eyes. You have too many questions and too few answers.

Tonight, you’re out on the balcony. The city below is a swath of lights, even this late into the evening. You wonder how many monsters are out there lurking, while you’re stuck up here. You haven’t tried leaving the Tower on your own yet, but you aren’t sure if you really want to.

It’s strange. You feel like a ghost of sorts. Here, in this time, in this world - but, at the same time, always stuck in the Then. You feel so different, but - you’re not exactly the monster you thought you would be. You still feel sad. You miss your father. You miss your brother. Your mother-

What had happened to her, you can’t help but wonder? She’s no doubt dead, but you didn’t tell her where you were going. That doesn’t make much difference, you suppose. After your brother’s death, she was a vacant husk of a woman. Lost in her own grief, gripped in the terror of What If.

You were all she had.

Then, there was the impending apocalypse. It was always an impending apocalypse.

The sliding glass door hisses as it opens, alerting you to another presence. You recognize it as Natasha almost immediately; she’s quieter than the others, and her scent is uniquely her own.

“I’m supposed to be the nocturnal one,” you joke lightly as she approaches you.

The redhead laughs softly, leaning her elbows on the railing. Her shoulders are tense, gaze a little distant. Even so, her posture is straight and stiff. “Do you not sleep?” She asks.

“No,” you look back out into the bustling city. “I can sleep, but my body doesn’t need it.”

Natasha is excellent at masking her expression into one of neutrality. Still, you can see the way her lips twitch every so often, as if struggling to keep a light smile. Something is bothering her. You’ve never been one for subtlety.

The wind picks up, sending waves of red into the air like flickering flames. Natasha suppresses a shiver, but you don’t miss it. You shrug off the jacket you bought during your first trip to the outside world with Natasha. She said you looked great in it, and though you don’t feel the temperature, it gave you some comfort to have something heavy and warm. You place the jacket on her shoulders, earning a teasing smirk from Natasha.

“So you are a gentlewoman,” she observes with a wink.

You roll your eyes, unable to stop yourself from smiling. “I tell no lies, ma’am.” You watch her pull the jacket tighter around herself. “What are you doing up so late?”

Natasha doesn’t answer right away. Instead, she looks down at the smooth metal of the balcony. Her fingers drum against it, her expression thoughtful and dazed.

“I don’t sleep well,” she says after a long silence. She says it in the way that people often say things when they’re just damned tired. Not physically, but mentally. She’s been through a lot, and while she can seem confident and in control most of the time, it’s only a mask for how she truly feels. You know a lot about that. It was how you lived your entire life.

“Back in my day,” you start, earning a snort and a groan from the redhead.

“You’re starting to sound like Steve,” she explains, a little breathless.

You roll your eyes. “This generation does not understand respect.”

“Aw, did I hurt your feelings?” She pouts teasingly.

You scoff. “Monsters don’t have feelings, remember?”

“Hey,” her tone hardens, just a little. “What did I say about calling yourself that?”

You meet her gaze with a half-smile. “Sorry, force of habit. Well, when I couldn’t sleep, my brother would take me out to the fields. He’d show me the stars, make up stories for them. Sometimes he would name them after the vampires he killed,” you can’t help but laugh a little at that. “He was always soft like that… father saw it as a weakness, but… maybe, in the end, he was the most human of us all.”

Natasha gives you a sympathetic smile. “There we go, back to sounding like a greeting card. Sounds like your brother was a good man.”

“He should have been the one with all this…” You gesture to the books with a sigh. “I was never meant to be the heir.”

“But you are.”

“But I am,” you agree. “What about you? Last I was around, Russia was a political minefield.”

“And here I thought you didn’t waste your time with politics when you were busy hunting monsters.” Natasha playfully nudges her shoulder against yours.

“Well, monarchies of over three centuries don’t typically fall apart silently. Revolution is never silent.” You shrug.

“True,” Natasha hums, tapping the counter. “I was a spy, of sorts. An assassin, really. Worked up quite the reputation before SHIELD got to me. Made me open my eyes to a hell of a lot.”

“But not vampires?”

“No, not vampires.” She chuckles. “Been here ever since.”

You hum, allowing yourself to look over her once again. She really is beautiful. A knockout dame like her would have been a primary target for vampires. Immortality wouldn’t change much about her, you think. She’s already so achingly gorgeous. Her heart picks up the pace, a lovely pink spreading across her cheeks the longer you look at her.

She clears her throat, stepping away from the railing. “I should really get back to bed.”

“You should,” you agree, though the thought of being without her saddens you a little.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” she promises.

“See you,” you watch her disappear back inside, feeling strangely warm as yo udo so. You turn back to the skyline, at the rays of gold and pink just starting to appear over the distance. This world is so strange, so new - but, maybe, you might find your place here.

- - - -

“And you’re sure they’ll have… valuable information?” Fury asks, sounding hesitant as he glances at you and Natasha.

“I’m not certain, but it’s a start. Your tech gobbledygook is taking too long, and I can’t stand being cooped up here all the time.” You admit honestly.

“And you think Agent Romanoff is the best choice for companionship?” He continues, and this time you really do understand the distrust in his tone. Going into a literal den of vampires doesn’t sound ideal, and though he knows Natasha is more than capable of handling herself, legends he’s read lately of vampires going after beautiful young women have him a little bit worried. (Not that he’ll admit it.)

“I’ll be alright,” you promise. “If they step out of line, I’ve taken down plenty of leeches in my day. We’ll be back before you know it.”

“Okay,” he relents, though his look of worry doesn’t fade. “Romanoff, gather as much intel with (Y/N) as you can.”

She nods curtly, giving him a reassuring smile.

Hours later, you’re helping Natasha get ready for your late night excursion.

“Most Feeders wear red,” you explain. “Hides the, ah, blood.”

“Why do these places exist, exactly?” Natasha asks, searching her closet for something red. You’d also informed her about exposed necks (which, back in your day, were incredibly taboo) so it’s obvious she’s searching for a particular dress she has in mind.

“When a vampire bites you,” you explain slowly, “and their saliva mixes into the wound, it can cause a weird chemical reaction in your brain. It’s sort of like…”

“Getting high?” Natasha looks over her shoulder at you with surprise. “So… they’re taking advantage of people by getting them stoned?”

You cringe. “Well, sort of. To them, it’s like having a pet. The humans are well taken care of - obviously blood tastes better from a healthy human than an unhealthy one. They give consent, at least, which, in my day, was practically unheard of.”

She hums thoughtfully, pulling out a hanger with a grin. “Did you ever visit one before?”

You clear your throat, looking away from her as she steps behind a screen to change. “Once. I was captured by a Coven once and brought to one of the Dens to hold for ransom. They never bit me or anything, but father was never a man of mercy.”

“So if I’m in red, what are you going to wear?” Natasha pokes her head out.

“Black, if tradition still stands.”

“Naturally.” She huffs and steps out. “Can you help me zip up?”

If you still had blood, you know you’d be blushing. You stand on somewhat shaky legs and approach the redhead. She turns her back to you, the zipper all the way down to her waist. Did she even try to get it herself?

You hear her heart begin to race as you grip the metal and pull it up, the cold tips of your knuckles tracing along Natasha’s spine. Her breath hitches, and you find yourself drowning in the scent of her. She is unfairly beautiful.

You take a step back to clear your head. Natasha looks at you with an unreadable expression, her lips pursed. She studies you for a long moment, eyes roaming up and down your body.

You do the same, admiring how well she pulls off the color. Red suits her; you can only assume she’s going to paint her lips to match it. The long slit up the side and the scandalously low cut of it are enough to send your mind spinning.

“I might have something for you.” Natasha hums thoughtfully, breaking you out of your trance as she moves back to her closet to dig around.

You quickly pull on the long, black dress she’d picked out for you. It hugs your curves almost as perfectly as her dress hugs hers, but you think she’s just naturally that perfect. (It’s almost annoying, if it wasn’t so damn pleasant to the eyes.)

She even does your makeup for you, painting your face in ways that your father would have scorned. By the time you’re ready to leave, you look almost like a different person again.

“We look hot,” Natasha grins, wrapping an arm around your waist.

You snort. “What does temperature have to do with this?”

You can only laugh along with her, despite your confusion and her lack of an explanation. It’s odd, how easy it has become to be around her. Maybe it’s because it was her blood that woke you up, or maybe it’s just a natural sort of connection. You aren’t sure what to categorize it as.

She was flirtatious - far more daring than any woman when you were alive. In fact, your attraction to women was extremely secretive. The fact that she’s so open to flirting with you in front of anyone - even the men - is always surprising, but when she does so in privacy like this, it makes your head go all fuzzy.

Natasha Romanoff was a dangerous woman. (But, then again, danger has always been an inescapable mistress.)

- - - -

You aren’t sure what you expect when you step into the Feeder Den. You remember when you had been captured and your father came to save you, the place erupted into violence. Naturally, they all knew who he was and what he was there for. Back then, there wasn’t a vampire around that didn’t know who Van Helsing was. You’re sure that if you entered one yourself back then, it would have a similar result.

You certainly don’t expect the sudden silence. They’ve adapted to the modern day, with dark lighting and heavy music - the front of it appears to be some kind of bar for humans, but the back rooms are where the feeding takes place. The moment you slip into the back room, all eyes are on you, wide with wonder.

The atmosphere is tense; wary. Do they recognize you? Instinctively, you keep yourself a bit in front of Natasha with a dangerous expression on your features. You can sense Natasha’s own apprehension and confusion, but she doesn’t show it. (You doubt she’d ever show an ounce of fear in front of these monsters.)

You take careful strides through the small lounge. Sofas and loveseats made of black leather line the walls, occasionally separated by a half wall. The tables have a few drinks and snacks for the Feeders, but not many of them look touched. As you predicted, the Feeders are wearing red, and are blissed out at the sides of their vampiric companions, who watch over them with mixed, unreadable expressions.

It’s like they’re afraid of you. Like there’s an unspoken unease the second they see you. The smell of blood is everywhere, clouding your mind just a little as your thirst begins to burn at your throat. You’ve never fed from a human before - never considered the idea of it - but suddenly it’s too tantalizing not to think about. You try to hold your breath to fight the effects of it, but it does little to soothe the ache in your throat. Natasha’s arm loops through yours, her emerald eyes shining with concern.

You lead Natasha to a less populated cubicle, where a boy and his Feeder are sitting comfortably. The woman beside him looks half-conscious, a bit of blood drying at the edges of her dress. He wipes his lips with a napkin, almost delicately, before looking up as you approach. His eyes widen, his posture stiffening when you and Natasha take your places at the empty loveseat.

“Hello,” you greet, hoping you sound friendly despite your apprehension.

He swallows, licks his lips. His extended fangs glint just a little bit as he tries to flash a nervous smile in return. “I’ve never seen you ‘round these parts before,” he speaks in a light British accent, hardly noticeable. He’s been around a while, you assume. Long enough that his accent has begun to fade to an American one. “We don’t often get newcomers.”

“Well, I’ve only been in America for a few weeks,” you explain, releasing Natasha’s arm so you can wrap your own around her waist and pull her closer.

“And you’ve found yourself a Feeder already?” He looks at Natasha with interest. “A beauty, too.”

“I’m a dedicated sort of woman, I suppose,” you hope you’re conveying as much ownership as possible. If you aren’t careful, he might try and coerce Natasha into letting him feed and that is something you’re trying to avoid at all costs. “Tell me, who is the Overseer of this place?”

He looks nervous, suddenly. He looks away, towards a door further back into the lounge. “She doesn’t much like visitors.”

“I see…” You hum thoughtfully. That’s not good. “Well, it’s been quite a while since I was around others of my kind.”

“Yeah, I hear Europe has gone dry since that Helsing heir went crazy.” He snorts. You try to control your body from its natural reaction, to little avail.

“Helsing,” you remark curiously. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that name.”

“Oh, yeah,” he nods, grinning fully now. “Legend says she fought the King Himself. But I don’t think she realized what she was doing,” he chuckles to himself. “She freed us from His grasp. We aren’t His servants anymore.”

You frown, interest sufficiently piqued. “Is that so?”

“Of course! Don’t you feel it? No darkness, no hate…” he shakes his head in disbelief. “Imagine that, a Helsing saving us? Can you believe it?”

“No,” you force a grin onto your face. “No, I can’t.” You glance at Natasha, who looks just as shocked as you. “That’s actually why I’m here. I’ve been… very interested in the disappearance of the King, and the odds of a reappearance.”

He looks disarmed, uncomfortable. He looks at his Feeder longingly. “Well, miss, I don't know about that. I think we’d all have felt it by now. But, I’m still young. Only turned in the forties.” He shrugs.

“Do you know anyone who might know more?” You press.

“Benjamin!” Someone scolds. You look up to find a stern-looking blonde, who’s glaring at the boy you’d been speaking with. “You didn’t tell me we had newcomers.” Her glare is dangerous, her tone sickeningly sweet. She wipes a bit of blood off the corner of her mouth. “What did I tell you about newcomers?”

“S-sorry, Thalia. This is- ah, I didn’t catch your name?” Benjamin eyes you with panic.

Shit. “Uh-”

“Willa. Her name is Willa and I’m Natasha,” Natasha quickly saves. You give her a grateful smile before the blonde named Thalia scoffs.

“She’s from Europe,” Benjamin adds, cringing at Thalia’s expression.

“Didn’t realize they let their bloodwhores talk.”

Uh oh. This is escalating quickly. Before Natasha can open her mouth again you interrupt sharply, “She’s my lover, actually.” Okay, not a good save judging by the gawking expressions on their faces.

“You can actually control yourself?” Benjamin inquires, a little in awe.

Why did I say that?? “Yeah, uh, can’t you?” Terrible save. Cover? Blown. Maybe you aren’t cut out for this new world, after all.

Thalia’s interest falls on you, at last. She studies you for a long moment, then turns to Natasha with open curiosity. The redhead doesn’t waver under those blood-red eyes, but you’re sure it’s making her uneasy.

“I don’t see any marks on her neck,” Thalia notes, though not nearly as scrutinizing as she has been since you met her.

“They’re… other places.” You excuse, rather lamely. To your relief, Natasha’s blush is enough to make it believable.

Benjamin and Thalia both exchange nervous looks before laughing.

“You are a strange one,” Thalia comments, looking over her shoulder before lowering her voice. “Come with me. Both of you.” Benjamin gets ready to stand, but quickly sinks back into his seat when Thalia gives him a warning look.

You grab Natasha’s hand, slotting your fingers together as you follow the woman through the rest of the lounge room. She leads you to what could have, at one point, been an office. Now, however, it’s some kind of small room full of comfortable chairs and numerous Feeders either napping or draped across the furniture with dazed expressions.

“You always keep them in here?” You ask, trying to keep your tone light as the heavy door shuts behind you.

“Oh, you can drop the act,” Thalia crosses her arms and faces you with a wicked expression, lips curled into a smirk.

Your stomach drops. “W-what?”

“Please, I could sense you the moment you entered my Den.” She rolls her eyes, flashes her fangs. She looks hungrily at Natasha. “Nice touch, though; bringing the redhead.”

“Who are-”

“You don’t remember me?” Thalia tilts her head, jutting her bottom lip out in a pout. “And I thought I left quite the impression.”

You wrinkle your eyebrows in confusion. Come to think of it, yes, she does look rather familiar. But where have you seen her before? Your jaw goes slack as you recognize her. “Elizabet? Elizabet Petrikov?”

“In the flesh,” she motions towards her body with a sarcastic bark of laughter. “After you left to follow daddy, I got a little… mixed up in the wrong crowd.”

“Yeah, clearly.” You scoff, holding Natasha a bit closer to you.

“Who is she?” The redhead asks, confused.

“She was a witch.” You narrow your eyes at her. “Now, she isn’t.”

“I was more than a witch.” Her tone grows sour. “I helped you more than once, if I recall correctly - which I do.”

“Why are you here? In America?” You press.

She rolls her eyes with a noncommittal shrug. “After the death of the King, and your little path of death and destruction, most of the supernaturals in Europe retreated back to the Underworld.”

“You didn’t.”

“Death doesn’t suit me.” She chuckles. “Besides, I’m not the only one from the old days still around. I’m more interested in how you, a Helsing - no, the Helsing - are standing in front of me right here, right now, in the body of the creature you despise?”

“Long story.” You grumble.

“Oh, I know the story,” she grins. “It’s a legend among us, you know. You’re a legend.”

“I still don’t understand that.”

She tuts, approaches one of her more coherent Feeders with swaying hips. Her fingers cup his jaw, tilting his face up to look at her. He smiles, brightly, and she croons softly at him. “I know you don’t.”

“You sound like you do know.” You accuse.

She turns to you, holding up a palm. “You know I don’t give my information for free.”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t have time for this.”

“I want a taste of your friend,” she eyes Natasha hungrily again.

You step in front of her. “No.”

“You can’t take the high-and-mighty road anymore,” Elizabet snorts. “You’re one of us now, and it’s only custom to participate in the rules of the Den.”

You scowl at her. “I’m not letting you feed from her.”

“Fine,” she shrugs. “Then you will leave with nothing. It’s obvious you came here for something, and you won’t get it until I know you’re one of us.”

“I’m not-”

Natasha says your name softly. You look at her with panic. “Why don’t you do it instead?” She asks in a hushed tone, though Elizabet or Thalia or whatever she wants to be called now can hear her.

“Is- is that okay?” You ask, frowning. “I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to like… fuck your head up.”

“Trust me,” she gives an encouraging smile. “I trust you.”

You look back to Elizabet. “Fine. If I feed from her, will you tell me whatever bullshit you have to tell me?”

Elizabet grins. “Watching you commit the biggest sin your old man could think of? Absolutely.”

You turn to Natasha again, taking a deep breath. “I’ll be quick, and I’ll be gentle.” You remove your hand from hers to place it firmly at her waist, the other moving to thread through long, coppery locks. “Are you sure this is okay?”

“Yup, perfectly fine,” Natasha’s voice cracks just a little, her eyes meeting yours as she gently tilts her head to the side. The sight should not be as attractive as it is - especially given your current situation - but there’s no denying the thrilling buzz that rolls through you at the sight.

You lower your lips to her neck, hearing her breath hitch as you give a gentle tug at her hair to expose more. You feel her pulse thrumming beneath warm skin, effectively clouding your mind into a numb sort of haze. It’s difficult to control the way your breath picks up, your pupils dilating just as your fangs extend and pierce Natasha’s skin.

She sucks in a harsh breath before letting out an involuntary groan. You feel her fingers digging into your back, her chest rising and falling quickly as the first droplets of blood land on your tongue.

You almost moan at the feeling.

You almost have to force yourself to run your tongue over the puncture wounds before pulling away. You place a more gentle kiss on them before pulling away entirely, watching the redhead’s features for any sign of discomfort or pain. Instead, a smile is beginning to stretch across her red-painted lips.

Green eyes meet yours, and they’re cloudy. “Oh, wow,” she breathes, almost uneasily.

“Even a small dose can leave ‘em loopy,” Elizabet notes, still smirking. You release Natasha’s hair, but keep an arm around her waist when you turn back to the blonde. Natasha leans into you with a pleased hum. “Kind of neat, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t come here to chitchat.”

“You were always so focused on business,” Elizabet leans back down to the Feeder still in her grasp and feeds from him roughly. He grunts, then sighs, limbs going slack until she pulls away.

“When business involves myself becoming a revered legend among the creatures I spent my whole life killing, yes, I’m rather focused on it.” You hiss.

She rolls her eyes again. “I don’t know much about the legend itself. That is to say, I know approximately as much about it now as I did a century ago.”

Maybe it’s the rush of energy that had come to you by drinking Natasha’s blood, but you’re suddenly finding yourself far easier to anger. “You knew?” You snarl.

She waves her hand noncommittally. “I knew of a legend involving the Vampire King. I simply didn’t know who it involved.”

“And what was this legend?” It couldn’t have been the one he so vehemently believed in, could it? You never quite learned the entirety of it, though you wish you did, now. No doubt your father died knowing it like the back of his hand.

“I said I know of it,” she repeats, scoffing. “You haven’t changed, you know that? So impatient.” Before you open your mouth to retort, she speaks again: “But I do know someone who is well-versed in it. She’s quite famous in Paris, at the moment, but I know you have your ways.” She winks mischievously at you before moving to a nearby bookshelf. She tears off a piece of paper from a notebook, writes something down on it before handing it to you.

“Thank you,” you don’t hide your annoyance as you take it and stuff it into your bra.

“Consider it a favor for old times’ sake.” Elizabet eyes Natasha again, licking her lips. “If you come around again, be sure to bring her.”

You will definitely not be doing that. Ever.

You slip out of the room with Natasha in tow, still slow in her movements. You consider carrying her, but before you can do so, she bumps into a man’s shoulder. He turns to her with a wild anger in his gaze.

“Watch it, bloodwhore,” he spits.

Before you realize what you’re doing, you’ve shoved the man to the ground and have your heel pressed sharply into his back. “Listen here, schmuck, I’ve had a hell of a night. I will not let you talk like that to my friend here.” You press harder into him. “Now, apologize.”

He looks absolutely scared shitless. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he knew who you are, but there’s no recognition in his gaze. Just fear. Like he’s pissed off the King of Vampires himself.

“S-sorry, miss,” he stammers, looking at Natasha with terror.

Natasha giggles, a sound that is so much unlike her that you can’t help staring at her in horror. “God, you’re strong,” the redhead practically purrs, returning to your side as if you hadn’t just thrown a man to the ground.

“Right,” you remove your heel. “Goodnight, then.”

Once you’re back out into the evening air, Natasha seems to clear her head a little. She looks at you with open curiosity, though when your eyes meet, she blushes and looks away. Her heart is hammering wildly in her chest.

“Okay,” you say once you’re a fair distance from the club. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing!” She clears her throat, blushing even harder. “It’s just- ah, I didn’t think… it would feel like that.”

“Yeah, well, you saw the people in there.” You suppress a shudder. “You don’t want to end up like that.”

“No, I know,” she looks away. “But, um… I mean, it felt… great, and I’m glad it was with you, and not… her.” She pauses. “How do you know her, anyway?”

“Why, are you jealous?”

“No!” Natasha rolls her eyes as you find your automobile. Er, car, as they call it these days. “I’m just curious.”

“We met through work,” you shrug. “Witches were open to more… sapphic activities, wherein others in society were not.” You leave it at that, opening the driver’s side door. “Are you alright to drive?”

She scoffs. “I’m fine. I just feel like I had an orgasm, though.”

You actually choke at that. “What?”

Her eyes widen. “I thought you knew what it felt like?”

“Harkon didn’t exactly consider giving me a dose of endorphins when he bit me. I’m pretty sure he wanted me to suffer.”

“Oh,” she starts the car once you get in. “Well, it feels really, really good. My arms and legs are still a little jelly-ish.”

You snort. “Well, next time I feel like giving a woman an unintentional orgasm, I’ll let you know.”

“Why don’t you make it intentional?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, and you can’t help but laugh.

“Keep it in your pants, Romanoff. We’ve got a lead to follow up on.”

- - - - next chapter - - - -

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well-fuuuck · 3 years ago

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Themes with the LU Chains characters that I do not like (based on fics and fanon interpretation, not necessarily jojo's comic). I needed to rant about this, and get it out of my head, so here y'all go. Also these are just my opinions, but I'm objectively right

Four - either his character is supremely bland and barely in the fic, or he is the main character and it is extremely difficult to read the way y'all write his thought processes. Find a better, easier way for us to read him please.

Hyrule - genuinely, i have almost no complaints about his character. Some of the best LU fics I have read are ones centered around him. Y'all really go off when writing Hyrule. The only problem I have is when he is a side character and grouped with Wild in that 'omg we are so reckless, we put the whole group in danger LOL'. I despise that. Hyrule is from a land where he is constantly on guard and cautious - he is not reckless to the point of putting others in danger.

Legend - y'all love to make him a bully and leave it at that. There is so much more to his character than 'sarcastic and mean'. If you wanna write Legend as a bully, go off I guess but know that you're doing a diservice to his character.

Sky - ...yall make him. So. Bland. I think i have only read one fic where i genuinely liked Sky's character. He is almost always characterized as a love-sick fool. Sky is no fool. He is angry and guilt-ridden. He was used by Hylia, too, and he knows it!! She literally admitted it to him. He may be in love with Zelda, but I am almost certain he has some pent-up anger against Hylia. Also the demise curse?? Guys, Sky is so guilt-ridden, pls explore it

Time - 'basic gruff dad characterization' copy and paste. He is either way too gruff and angry, or has a little bit of playfulness mixed in. The playfulness never balances his gruffness though. His character is always boring to read, which is such a shame bc he is one of my fav game Links.

Twilight - again...such a bland character y'all make him out to be. Either he is reduced as just a mentor to Wild or he is reduced as just a son-figure to Time. Both of those I hate and they're both over-written. Its a goddamn fight to be able to find a fic where Twilight isnt a mentor to Wild, dear Lord. Also the majority of his angst (if there even is any in the fic) it is almost always based around Midna. And i get it, i do, but dear lord. Y'all do know that other stuff went down in his game, right??? That there are other women in his life besides Midna? Like, have none of y'all read the TP manga and the amiunt of angst potential in that??? Come on

Warriors - this one makes me a tad angry. He is just the pretty boy, the pretty link, the link who is always getting with women. 'Womanizer'. Women problems. And yep, Wars has women problems - but in the way that he doesn't like relationships and is uncomfortable with intimacy. Listen, i could go on and on about Warriors trauma, but I'll digress and just say this: Warriors is not a womanizer, and it is an insult to his character to make him one.

Wild - *deep breath in* *deep breath out* the way y'all write his character inspires a deep rage inside of me. Wild is not inept, he is not stupid, he is not 'feral', and he would not put people in danger even though he is reckless. I understand that many of you characterize him as feral and reckless, because that is how y'all played BOTW. I apparently played it much differently; very cautiously and fought from a distance. Listen to me, though: all of the Links are reckless, but none of them are stupid.

Wind - y'all make him so annoying, please quit. Wind is 13/14 years old and has been on 2 quests. He is not a 7 year old boy, playing at being a hero. He is an older brother, who went on a quest to protect his sister. Wind is proud and protective, not to be babied. And honestly, i think the other Links would understand that (and yes, even twi and wars can understand that)

#aaaaah yikes #sorry if this comes off as rude #but like #the way some of you write their characters #YIKES #linked universe #lu boys #i am scared to tag all of the boys so i will leave it at that

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alextturcotte · 3 years ago

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there are just a bunch of rants besties. yall better buckle up for this one💀

these aren’t directed at anyone in particular, this is just what i’ve noticed after being on tumblr for a while💀 also these are my opinions so you dont have to agree with anything, this is just me ranting lol

rant #1

i actually can not believe that there are STILL people on this app supporting trevor zegras. Are y’all high or something?! Because the last time i checked he SA’d a girl and liked trump’s tweets. I do not care if “the girl actually lied about it” you ALWAYS believe the victim and honestly i have not ONCE seen the evidence that he did not. I see so many anons and people defending him saying that it was proven false and all a lie, like um ok where is the proof? Show me rn. As soon as a blog asks where the proof is, all of a sudden that anon disappears and doesn’t get back to them. Something isn’t adding up there. The whole liking the trump tweets situation i can kinda understand why TZ did it (and a bunch of other athletes as well), the dude is an athlete and wanted the country to “reopen” so that he could obviously play the sport he’s passionate about but even with saying that, it doesn’t justify that it’s literally trump. I am 100% NOT defending him or any other athletes actions.

rant #2

why do some people actually have the audacity to get mad when a hockey player gets into a relationship... please explain that to me because i don’t understand that logic whatsoever. Like I get that you have a crush on them but babes you can’t act like they were even yours, to begin with. You can’t go living life thinking your favourite hockey player is going to stay single forever, it doesn’t work that way. I’ll never understand why people get so butthurt and throw a fit because of it. Also, the fact that some people have to bring their fav players’ S/O down to get some sort of validation and make themselves feel good is the most fucked up shit EVER. I saw a post on here that said something along the lines of “it’s always girls supporting girls until they start dating ur favourite hockey player. They all of a sudden have all these faults and flaws” and that is SO TRUE. Everyone can be like “omg this person is so pretty” and shit like that till they start dating someone. All of a sudden they’re a bad person, they’re a slut, they’re not pretty anymore, not in that person’s league, etc. Just you what?! STFU!! Stop being a fucking jealous bitch and get on with your life. I don’t get why people do this. I honestly have more things to say about this but that’s for another time.

rant #3 this one might be a little controversial but i'm willing to risk it all

The fact that we’re sexualizing hockey players that have a family makes me feel icky. Like bro, they have a literal CHILD and you’re writing fics about their parent and sexually talking about them.... They also are fucking MARRIED TO SOMEONE. I know that wags don’t really care about that stuff but it still feels almost wrong to me. I get that people find them hot and stuff but idk it just feels weird and off. And i know that no matter what people are going to do this anyway but for me it just makes me feel super weird and uncomfortable. So personally i try and avoid when people talk about sexualizing them. I’m definitely 100% NOT shaming anyone who does, just to make that crystal clear and i’m definitely NOT judging anyone who does. This is more for me and what I'm comfortable with. No hard feelings to anyone!!

rant #4

I absolutely hate when blogs on here act like they’re all shit and know everything and just all around act like they don’t need to listen to anyone. Like, calm the fuck down becky, get off your high horse and stop acting like that. You don’t need to make other blogs feel bad just because they didn’t know something that apparently “everyone knows”. It’s just fucking exhausting and annoying to see. You don’t need to make other people feel dumb so that you feel smart. Like hate to break it to you but you’re just making yourself look fucking entitled and a complete bitch. Another thing is that they always have to be “different”. They can’t put the *keep reading* for fics, they can’t put fucking trigger warnings on posts, they can’t be respectful when lbing a game. They don’t bother reading a whole post and reading the tags because i’ve seen a few times where someone shows their face and says VERY VERY clear that they do not want it reblogged but some people actually just go ahead and do it anyways like why can’t you just be respectful to others and stop acting like you’re all that. When someone calls them out on something they always say that “oh i didn’t realize” or “oh i’m sorry I’ll remember that for next time” like bro very disrespectfully shut the fuck up. I’m so so sick of blogs acting so entitled and so fucking selfish. And to kinda tie into the TZ situation and just bad players in general, it’s the fact that y’all know they’re bad people and yet you choose to support them and shit but as soon as what they did is brought up again you jump on the bandwagon and pretend to care but as soon as it all dies down you got straight back to supporting them. That’s the one thing i will genuinely never understand.

#LJ rants #<< new tag i guess #this was actually quite fun and relaxing to kinda get off my shoulders #long post #<<kinda #not as long as a wanted it to be but whateva

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aurltas · 4 years ago

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@milkcrates tagged me to share 10 things abt myself (tysm!!! <33) and yall know i cannot resist an opportunity to yell-rant extensively about myself on tumblr and nowhere else so here we gooooo

1. i am going to do what i Always do at icebreakers/whatever and throw it out here too that i work, sort-of-indirectly-kinda, for youtube ! im a writer/reviewer on the closed captioning team for (sigh) twoset violin, aka the world’s worst enunciators (shoutout to the ppl in the comments who mention subtitles-san............yall give us life)

2. the second thing i Always bring up at icebreakers/etc is that i am a certified scuba diver!! i adore the ocean and respect it deeply with all the fear in my heart,, it’s so lovely, i’ll never forget the feeling of being like 50m down and looking up and it’s just: w a t e r

3. i really enjoy finding random lil communities of hobbyists and uhhhh that basically bleeds over into whatever i become mildly obsessed with for the next couple months and inevitably becomes a future life goal; currently it is fishkeeping/aquascaping and rare succulents ESPECIALLY haworthias i love haworthias so much guys

4. whenever i have a choice my academic projects are like 80% about fandoms and 20% about medical humanities and thats basically a summary of Me As An Academic And Human Being (which speaking of,, i just wrapped up a conference presentation where i got to present my research on queer cn diaspora in danmei fandom and i was so nervous but it was SO fun even tho it was over zoom)

5. oh my god not to get all academic again but i am Obsessed w the medical humanities you guys it’s so cool (basically it’s the intersection of medicine + the arts, whether that means incorporating art as an augmentative treatment or incorporating medical experiences into art!! a lot of ppl are somewhat familiar w music therapy or art therapy and those fall under this category) LIKE,, i honestly feel so seen at this intersection?? and both fields would truly benefit from (and need!!) the influence of the other

6. and now for a complete 180: i go through clothes super slowly and rarely buy new clothes so half my wardrobe hasnt changed in Years . meaning: a bunch of it is still stuff my mom picked out for me o)-( this is an unfortunate combo of the fact that i used to hate clothes shopping + never used to go shopping w friends Ever + am a creature of habit

7. ok so my parents made me learn piano from a young age and i, to their horror, actually loved it and seriously considered persuing music ed when i graduated hs LMFAO like if i lived in an ideal world my majors would be music ed + museum studies / museumology + medical humanities + fandom/media studies

8. as a result of being a longtime classically trained pianist i subscribe p closely to the Stereotypical Classical Musician Genres (kpop, anime music / jrock, modern classical) with a dash of whatever my friends throw my way (alt, indie, folk, i dont even technically know most of the terms lmfao) so it really tracks that my fav song rn is from a modern-traditional cn music group

9. i have a whole complex abt being multifaceted and Extremely Interesting As A Person so this is great for me HAHAHAHA but yes i am fundamentally v concerned with being a ~unique individual~ (my enneagram rly called me out on that one......im a type 4 iirc) and i feel like that shows a lot in how i use and present myself on this site lmaooo

10. my fav font rn is ovo !!! i used it to make a zine recently for class and it was such a good vibe i adore it (im currently taking a class on zines / independent publishing w my all time fav prof who also literally happens to be a municipal-level poet laureate and a rock enthusiast its BONKERS i would d*e for her)

if u read all that kudos to u!! i hope it was interesting LOLL

tagging (as per usual, no pressure + feel free to do this even if u weren’t tagged!!! i love reading these so PLS dont hesitate to do this n say i tagged u) - @star-bribery, @cityof-starlight , @saintbaselshouse , @oboenotclarinet , @theravenlyn , @reiiharu , @notfloofaccount , @mss3ng, @lenawin4 , and YOU !! if u want. :3c

#tag games #me #ty again user milkcrates !!!! it was super fun to read urs i wish i had ur playlist creativity skillz

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years ago

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hi cherry a little vent if that's OK w u

so on this app I had 2 people who I had notifs on for, you and my fav sfw writer right? over time though I realized I didn't actually like that person as an author I just got really attached because they were the first blog I was anon on and they responded well. but like 👁👄👁 recently they've been downplaying skz alot tbh and I don't mean in a critique way, in a way where they were saying certain things were just plain bad with little to no valid explanation and just being overall nasty? I think that might be what made me realize that I didn't actually like them a ton tbh, I unfollowed them today cause I got a notif from them and it was a post saying the song that is currently my favorite was bad and didn't deserve a mv :// obv that post wasn't directed at anyone I just think I got tired of only seeing negative things about the boys when I open their blog. I also would find myself going directly to ur blog after reading shitty stuff on their blog because this place is just a place full of general excitement and support, I really enjoy it. but anyways uh, I wanna thank u for being such a cool author and for supporting the boys the way u do :) the author I'm referring to was never directly slamming on the boys themselves, but they just never seemed to have anything good to say yk? I really enjoy being here way more

also congrats on now being the only blog I have notifs on for luv <3

ok end rant//

anyways

my sleep schedule is still utterly fucked in every way, I got distracted trying (and succeeding!!) at making a Kandi cuff but by the time I was done it was 4:30 am so now im just chilling watching anime for now till I feel like getting up for school. since it's so early maybe ill stop at mickydees otw 😌😌

also, I've been streaming literally all day and the new album is SO GOOD BRO SJDJJXDHE

I was expecting something really sad from silent cry and star lost but BRO?? 10/10 think star lost will be the Blueprint of this era

and CHRISTOPHER? mans said nah fuck the shirt yall get bandages take it or leave it

AND I MEAN OBVIOUSLY TAKE IT

also I don't think words can express how down fucking bad I am for seo changbin like 😫😫 please Mr seo just one chance

and like skz making us think the beginning of the unveil for domino was the beginning of the song feels like they're laughing at us rn like zjjxjd ALSO DOMINO IS SO GOTDAMN FUCKING GOOD HOLY FUCKING DUCK the like high pitched thingy he does for like two syllables (idk how to describe it I'm sorry??) is SO HOT I CANNOT

awwwh >:((( DAMN I FEEL SO HONORED BRO THANK YOUUUU <33 ah but i kinda feel bad for your phone HASHSAH WHEN I START SPAMMING SHIT- nah but seriously thank you <33

i mean i can understand that its not everyones favorite album, i really liked it but we cant all have the same opinion can we but theres a difference between constructive criticism and just being mean SO im happy that you noticed the difference and just kinda,,, dont try to associate with people that dont have anything positive to say.

my god your poor sleep schedule,,, DONT U HAVE SCHOOL?? HOW THE FUCK DO U EVEN SCHOOL BRO

also yes can we just say that both silent cry and star lost are amazing songs?? i really like songs with those kinda,,, vibes so i was pleasantly surprised and i just think that everyones vocals fit those songs as well <333 but if we talking favorite song here mine is probably cheese?? idk something about that songs is very unique,,, its fresh, it doesnt sound like anything ive heard before and the concept is very cool and fitting for skz so i just love it, love love love!!! <33

#fluffybitch0325 #Cherrymail🍒

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badatusernames · 5 years ago

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CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!! Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT. A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him.

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse) Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros. A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like.

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY. General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much.

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

#naruto #shikacho #narugaa #nejilee #kibahina #they speak #i cant tag everyone fuck #is this formatting fucked up? i can't tell it wouldnt post before #long post

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eitelle · 4 years ago

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hi!! this is where the matchups are i think??? haikyuu pls!!

i’m 5’8, im an intp and a gemini, i really like astrology and i play the guitar and stuff like that :3 my style is pretty good i would say and i put effort in my looks lol, i watch a lot of youtube and play minecraft a lot and listen to music an excessive amount 😭😭 i like anime too haha, i literally only hang out with like 2 people because anyone i’m not comfortable with i’m rlly shy around and i don’t talk much in social situations especially with people i don’t know, i like to sleep a lot and i’m pretty lazy ngl hahshdhdh

that’s pretty much it sorry if i did this wrong oops tysm! <3333

HIHI U DID THIS COMPLETLY RIGHT TY FOR THE SUBMISSION!! wait damn i cant spell. and i call myself a writer 😞🤚 ANYWAYS ARE WE THE SAME MF PERSON??/):$36:$;7 except im 5’4.5 and im an enfp BUT STILL

lemme just kin assign u kenma rq 🙄🤚 basically that means marry me

lemme just match you up with: BOKUTO KŌTARO 🥰

baby is so cute and he will crack u out of ur shell 🤤 BYE I HATE THAT EMOJI SM I CANT

anyways some hcs:

so basically if ur in the dream smp he will watch the WHOLE THING

will he understand any of it? hell no

will he have kins and also become obsessed and simp for wilbur and quackity? hell yeah

u will change his bio on social media to “him/himbo” BYE

akaashi and u are besties i dknt make the rules

tempted to say suna but u and bo would have just cuddle dates

he woukd spoon you and yall would just cuddle and he would rant ab his day while u relaxed

he would play w ur hair

he loves it when u play with his hair tho

wtf is this spotify ad

OK SORRY ANYWAYS

will have random arguments or be like “what is the dip of ur calf called?” “isnt white just light black and black is dark white?”

both of yall are ruled by mercury so,,,, match made in heaven

you guys are people who get lost sometimes but no matter what you always find each other

like how the ocean will always wash something up, or how i always shit what i eat out

OK HOW DO I DO THAT. HOW DO I JUST BE SO POETIC AND THEN SAY THAT. PLEASE. HELP.

u make playlists for yall and he has a little jar of every one youve made that youve shown him and of his fav songs from them

IMAGINE YIME 😁😁

imagine:

another day, another 12 hours in bed. maybe 8 today because dinner downstairs actually sounds good for once. but all of that was ruined when u hear footsteps OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR. you literally hear huge ass thumping, probably jumping. and these arent just small cute ones; no theyre large and booming.

“HEY HEY HEYYYYYY,” you hear as your front door is ripped open. you sigh with a smile on your face and get out of bed to go greet your boyfriend. knowing how empathetic he can get you become happy just at the sight of him.

he opens his arms wide and brings you in for a hug, lifting you ip and carrying you while talking about the sights he saw on his run here. as you both end ip in ur room, you lay down on top of his chest listening and laughing at his imagination and perceptiveness.

“anyways, its such a nice saturday morning.” he says, meanibg for it to be an offhanded comment but he doesnt notice your tensing up at his comment.

“saturday? ko its tuesday,” you say turning to look ay him with a questioning stare.

“SHIT ITS TUESDAY? AKAASHIS GONNA KILL ME!” he yells as he leaps up. as he gives you a peck on your cheek he leaps down your stairs and runs to the fukurodani gym.

ARTBREEDER!!!!!!

texts now 😋😋

I HOPE U LIKED!!!

#michelles 60 follower matchup event

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thesugarace · 4 years ago

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Alright

I finished HLITF season 1 for Kaga and I SWEAR TO ALL 12 ZODIAC GODS

VOLTAGE. PEAKED!!!! AT KAGA’S SEQUEL

THIS STORY IS AN ABSOLUTE

(Early warning: minor/major spoilers and a lot of rants/fangirling/thirst etc etc all bec I just absolutely love this story and I feel the need to share this love with everyone. Also, I keep seeing everyone hating on MC in this but I actually really liked her here and so I MUST defend her)

Okay

First of all look. loOK. LOOK AT THESE CGS!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE WE GET A HOT AND SEXY KAGA CG, A LITERALLY STEAMY ROMANTIC CG AND A BOMB AF STORY ALL FOR $3 EYE-

And oh my huedhaut dont even get me started on the story. It was absolutely on point. It has everything a HLITF story promises to have:

justice in the eyes of our straightlaced MC vs the PSD ✔️

Conflict btwn Kaga and MC precisely because of that ✔️

Our girl pulling a vanishing act bec she refused to compromise her values ✔️

the refusal of each side to back down and their love for each other TEARING THEM APART INSIDE ✔️

OUR GIRL SHOWING OFF HOW INSIGHTFUL SHE REALLY IS AND FINDING A SOLID AF LEAD ✔️

MC’S GROWTH in finding a somewhat compromise between her principles and what is required of her as a PSD detective ✔️

And of course, my absolute favourite: ANGSTY ANGSTY MY-WORLD-IS-ENDING-BECAUSE-MY-MC-IS-IN-DANGER-ANGSTY KAGA ✔️

Okay, I need to address the one thing that everyone just hates about this story en masse and it’s MC. Personally, I dont agree with her about the some parts, especially the interrogation because she did hinder an investigation and in law enforcement that is one big No-No but I do see where she’s coming from, especially with the surveillance thing and the whole copping out and literally running away to the countryside. I saw reviews abt her being completely naive but seriously, put yourself in the position of the one being spied. She’s so against it because to the suspect, what they’re doing could be harmful to him, especially so if he was innocent. I think as a person, she believes in the more publically-accepted justice - the kind of justice that everyone wants but is really very difficult to obtain.

And this is where we get to the beauty of this story. As per their MO, the PSD is ready to do whatever it takes to get the culprit even it means breaking the law. They’re desperate to get the culprit because people are actually getting hurt and the longer this guy gives them the slip, the more people are going to get hurt. Even in MSB, its been established that to the PSD, the end ALWAYS justify the means and they dont give a shit if they look like criminals for it. So this is where the conflict arises between MC and the PSD guys. For the PSD, there’s an opportunity where they might get the culprit but its illegal and for MC, what the PSD wants to do is too risky for something only based on suspicion; she wants to stay on the legal path but she has no lead whatsoever and time is not on either side. People dont seem to realise the weight of MC’s viewpoint and have a tendency to think of ‘officers doing something illegal’ as something as light as jaywalking or smt. No, these institutions have a wide reach and one misstep could bring harmful repercussions onto countless innocent people not to mention the implications of their actions on their integrity as an institution of the law and the integrity of the entire justice system. However, the PSD’s side is a lot more true to reality albeit in more complex situations: their duty beyond all else is to prevent crime and there are times when there really seems to be no way. I’ve been working in law for the past few years and this is a classic dilemma that has been simplified but quite well executed in this context. Justice is not as clear cut as the right way, the right end. The law may simply be black words on white paper but different circumstances dye it with their own colours. This is where MC is lacking. She’s like a freshman at law school - someone who truly believes in the importance of justice but actually has little idea what that actually entails. She is not entirely naive but more in a sense that she’s never been confronted with these kind of complex high-stakes situations (she worked in a police box before this for Ichthys’s sake) and that inexperience disables her from seeing and evaluating the entire situation from the PSD’s pov. For her, its like playing poker for the first time and she’s already betting with the million dollar chips.

The second thing I REALLY must defend her in is the whole quitting from the academy. For the love of Zyglavis, she did NOT run away just because Kaga told her she’s not suited for PSD, it was just the trigger. Lemme put it in a different scenario (btw this scenario is not meant to mirror the situation, its only meant to evoke how MC felt in the story) Imagine you live in a city and you and your significant other are living together. A pandemic has struck your city but everyone refuses to wear a mask and the government is even encouraging people not to wear a mask. You know that wearing a mask slows down the spread of the virus and you are trying to convince people to wear one but they just ignore you. The number of cases is dropping and people think its because they dont wear masks unlike other cities but you know that people should still wear masks or the numbers might spike. So you try to convince everyone to wear a mask and people start berating you for being so stupid as to believe that masks will slow down the spread of the virus when the numbers are dropping without the city wearing them. You go home and your significant other berates you for forcing other people to wear a mask and says ‘since you wanna wear a mask so badly, get out of my house and move out of town’ That’s what it felt like for MC: the absolute frustration + sadness from the rejection of what she truly believes in by the people she’s surrounded by. Time and time again in the story, she’s confronted with the fact that the justice she believes in is not the justice PSD serves. For someone who is working towards joining the PSD, that has to be killing her inside every time. It just serves as a reminder that she is not suited for PSD nor is she what PSD wants in a detective, something she has been struggling with since MS1 but she perseveres perhaps because of her dream to become a detective or because of her aspirations to someday be Kaga’s equal or at least be someone he considers he can rely on. I really believe it’s the second one, after all, it was his rejection of her that really broke her inside and finally convinced her to quit. That’s why if you buy the ending set, you’ll see in the extra stories that Kaga gets extremely angry AT HIMSELF that MC quit the academy. He knows that our persistent Kappa doesnt give up so easily, not even when he scolded her for ruining his interrogation. Its because all these factors built up and he was the one to push her over her limit. So yes, our girl is not fragile yall. She’s just been through so much and I honestly dont blame her for leaving like one order of R&R for our MC here, she deserves it thanks.

Okay, I need to end this soon cause its starting to get too long but what made me really love her here is the whole LIME thing. That part made love her so much because even when she quit on the academy, there’s still a fire inside her to do what it takes to achieve justice, even if it meant relying on the people she didnt agree with. Even when she was so broken inside believing that she’s not one of them, she’s not needed by them, she’s not worthy of helping them; she just wants to help!

IM SO FREAKING SOFT FOR HER BECAUSE THIS GIRL WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IS STILL FIGHTING IN HER OWN WAY AND JKASHFHASKJHAKSHKJHGA BRB CRYING

ALSO

THAT BLOODY PHONE CALL OH MY FREAKING SCORPIO THAT PHONE CALL. I died when he told her that quitting is not an excuse to leave his side. THESE TWO EYE-

Okay, you have to read that phone call scene from both sides because then you’ll see how much these two are being stubborn because they still dont accept the other’s pov abt the case but at the same time how much they love and miss each other is gnawing at them inside AND THEYRE STRUGGLING TO HOLD ALL THOSE EMOTIONS BACK WHEN THEY HEAR EACH OTHERS’ VOICES OVER THE PHONE FREAKING KRIOFF TAKE THE WHEEL PLEASE

Anyways, I really enjoyed reading season 1 for Kaga, especially because of his MC - I see her actually growing from the small police box officer to a PSD cadet and the sequel, especially, shows promise in how she’s going to navigate the world of law enforcement and facing difficult choices. Our girl really decided to return to the academy without finding a proper middle ground between her values and what PSD requires of her but she showed determination to work on it so I really hope we get to see more of that in later seasons. Also, WHIPPED Kaga is my fav but soft Kaga is up there as well. MC SAYING HE SOUNDED SAD OVER THE PHONE AND HER TEARING UP I CANT. THESE TWO ARE BAD FOR MY HEART.

Okay, Im not sure what I’ll be reading next. I kinda wanna start on his season 2 but considering how amazing this season is for Kaga, Im really curious abt the other characters so I might start on them before starting any season 2s. Also, idk if I would make these long argumentative-ish essays a thing but just idk why, my brain is really good at spewing essays out when it comes to HLITF and I think its fuelled by the panic from all my unfinished work so yay

Thanks for reading!!!

#rediscovering hlitf #HLITF #Hyogo Kaga #seiji goto #hideki ishigami #ayumu shinonome #shusuke soma #her love in the force #voltage inc.#otome #voltage otome #voltage romance sims #voltage guys

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ms-marmar · 4 years ago

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tw: pictures of food that may or may be fear foods

but also some pro recovery shit! fuck eds!

SO TODAY I SAID

FUCK U

TO MY BRAIN N WEIRD EATING BEHVAIORS AND TOLD MYSELF IMMA EAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON TODAY (or as normal) AND TRY TO LISTEN TO MY HUNGER CUES, AND IF U DONT FEEL EM, EAT A BIT ANYWAY, U PROBS NEED IT, AND IF U EAT A BIT N U KNOW UR NOT HUNGRY, TELL URSELF ITS OK

Also just a reminder to y'all food is a necessity, not a reward 💕 yalls important n beautiful

IM SORRY IM TRYING TO ADD A READ MORE LINE BUT THE FUCKING TUMBLR APP GIVES SHIT FORMATTING AND I CANT EDIT IT ON MY LAPTOP BC ITS DUMB AND SO PLEASE IF THIS IS TRIGGERING PLS SKIP OVER

I ATE HALF THIS BURGER. IT TASTED OK, NTN SPECIAL, BUT I DO LOVE KETCHUP

I ATE SOME OF MY FAVORITE FISH + SOME RICE N MY LEFTOVER SPAM ONIGIRI I MADE A BIT AGO

I MADE MILK BREAD TODAY, I ATE SOME W WHIPPED CREAM N FROOT (mah favs, mango n banan n strawberry ✨)

I MADE THESE STRANGE LOOKING CHOCOLATE DONUTS TWO DAYS AGO, I ATE ONE LEFTOVER

AND TODAY WAS THE FIRST TIME I RLLY HAD ANY FOOD FROM OUTSIDE SO FUCK YEAH I GOT BOBA. COCONUT STRAWBERRY WUZ THE SHIT TODAY. tho I wish there were better boba places in my area, but this place isn't too bad!

so yeah hopefully you take this as some positivity ✨ did I feel great? Nope. Deep down I know I'm scared of recovery, even though I know something is wrong and I need to fix it. Ive always been scared that recovery = "letting myself go." And the fact that I gained weight during my remission period just confirmed it. But I didn't consider all the other factors going on in my life that contributed to it. Ive been refusing even just trying to believe that where I'm at with my weight is okay. Constantly I feel like I do and dont deserve to feel like I'm fat. There's too much to consider in this mess. But what i do knownis thag I don't want to tell others get better when even I'm not putting that effort to get better myself. We all know its a lot of work and it's exhausting, but we can't give up. I've been keeping secrets from the ppl closest to me again and last time it happened I rlly hurt them. Hopefully I'll try to improve so that I don't keep spiraling down like I have in the past and repeat cycles of remission/relapse. I'm lucky enough to have people support me, and I take them for granted and refuse to reach out because I know that im supposed to "get better" when that's the last thing I wanna do. Why do I cling on so desperately to something i both love and hate, and all it does is make me suffer. I pray that you have others you can rely on, have resources available, etc. because you deserve and need help. And if you got nobody else to turn to Im always here to listen.

sorry this was long I went on a rant ahaha I could probs say more or edit this but I'm too lazy

i don't mean to offend anyone, all our experiences r v different and there’s no easy solution to any of the things we face. I wish there were better ways and answers. But first we must be open to them. I know that some day we'll all eventually feel okay 💕 and I can't wait :)

#Tw #Tw eating disorders #Tw food #Eating disorders #Marmars thots #Long post #Ana #Mia #Binging and purging #Binge eating disorder #Recovery #Relapse #Pro recovery #But not #Pro ana #Pro mia #Not pro just using tags

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your-localghost · 4 years ago

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so um who wants to read a 50 page essay of me and my mom's journey through the IT movies?

too bad you're reading it

so like i saw this goddamm clown, and i, also being a clown, said to my mom, also a clown, "lets watch this clown movie lol" and she said yes. and in the like first five minutes we are already awwing and stuff because??? omg georgie and bill are so cu- oh. oh my god. oh this us not what we thought at all-

so enter Losers. instant RELATE i am also a LOSER hellO?? hAh look at these 2 idiots theyre bickering like an old couple an- oh my fucking GOD of course there are bullies. one of them looks like draco malfoy??? guYs did draco malfoy play in this movie we see him like 2 times-

oh my god oh no poor bill he is trying to find his brother :( but alsO BEV IS SO PRETTY??? IM SO GAY???? and yeah i really feel the New Kid On The Block like same man i didnt even get to meet a pretty girl and a buncho losers who will go jump into lakes with me

OH and the lake scene? it bites me in the ass later. i fucking passed it off as a "theyre bonding" moment and then it transforms into a feelings plane and crashes into my house

me: they just keep leaving their bikes

mom: well It takes kids, not bikes

fastforward and??? the fight secene?? the fuckijgn fi Ght SCE ne??? o H M Y GO D

bill was so desperate to find georgie?? richie was so scared he would die??? beN BEING SCARED HIS FRIENDS ARE GONE?

i AM ALL OF THESE FUCKERS

and oh?? bev's dad??? hate the vibe this dude gives to me. like this dude def did more than mentally abuse her and im so glad she beat him up

uhHHH??? WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT EDDIE STANDING UP TO HIS FREAKSHOW OF A MOM??? HOW HE WAS SO MAD????? HE THREW HIS PILLS ON THE GROUND HELLO, HE STRAIGHT UP YEETED HIS FANNY PACK??? MAN the things a gay goes through for his friends

bill's speech on georgie, like, dude just fucking stab me it will hurt way less

fastforward more, the oath??? how scared stan was??? like i ddint really feel any connection with stan other than his actor played my fav character, stan, in ianowt, but uHm? i still love him??? so mUCH???

oOOOH i just realied i didnt talk about mikey

ahem

THE ROCK FIGHT THE FUKING ROCK FIGHT THE ROCK FIGHT OH MY GOD

THESE LOSERS ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF THOSE SHITBAGS BUT THEY SEE ANOTHER LOSER AND THE FIRST THING THEY DO IS THROW R O C K LIKE FUCK YEAH YOU FUCNKY LITTLE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS STAND UP FOR YOUR FELLOW BULLIED I LOVE MIKEY SO M7CH OH MY GOD

so between the 2 movies we realized it wasnt on netflix and went on various websites to watch the 2nd movie, got progressively angrier until i got my laptop and just watched it blindly because we are both blind

okay heres the tea yall

they completely erased bev's character in the 2nd movie. in the first it was emphesized SO MUCH just how brave she was compared to the others. she took the first step, she wasnt afraid to go into the house she fought her abusive dad and in the 2nd movie it was all gone. i really liked the fact that bev wqsnt a damsel in distress until in the 2nd movie she was. while in the 1st movue you forgot that gender roles existed in the 2nd it really seemed like they wrote bev as a "woman" rather than "bev" you dig me??? okay rant over. basically fuck the 2nd movie bev and im not just saying this because her 1st movie actor made me realize i was a lesbian. on to the movie

oh mY GOD HOMOSEXUALS??? WILL THEY HAVE A PART IN THIS STORY OH MY IM SO EX- oh. right. oh hey theres mikey :D

___

me: who's this??

mom: its bill look, its his surname

me:

me: you remember bill's surname but not richie or ben's names?

---

oh theyre all grown up!! oh bevs fighting an abusive man again and uh

___

mom: i have a feeling stans gonna kill himself

me: hah can you imagi

---

STANLEY??? BABEY BOY OH NO???? and also are we gonna let the spider with the baby head thing pass?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DONT REMEMBER ANYTHI-

"this is like a virus its been eating us for 27 years!" YEA MIKEY ITS CALLED PTSD YOU FOUGHT A FUCKING DEMON AND DIDNT SEE A THERAPIST????

also the whole tribe thing seemed really out of story and like it didnt belong there at all? idk maybe its just me but i dont wanna believe that bill's 3rd eye opened after he got drugged by his friend idk

so like hightlights because ive got many rants about the 2nd movie

what the fuck do you mean bev got out of jer specilized hell after ben recited 1 fucking poem are you kidding me are yOU FUCKING KIDDING ARE WE REALLY DOING THE SAVED BY LOVE BULLSHIT AGAIN OH OKAY

OH OKAY FUCK YOU

SO BEV GETS SAVED IN THE FIRST MOVIE AFTER BEN KISSES HER WHEN AT THE TIME HE PRIBABLY THOUGHT LOVE WAS AT ITS PEAK WHEN YOU GAVE YOUR 2ND GRADE CRUSH A BADLY WRITTEN POEM

AND UFKCING HELL IT HAPPENS IN THE 2ND MOVIE TOO??? DOES PENNYWISE JUST THINK "oh these bitches hetero bettet keep them alive" BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS WOULD ALL BE OKAY IF

IF EDDIE LIVED TOO

FUCK I RELATE TO RICHIE SO MUCH??? HIS FIGHT WITH HIS PEERS AND HIS FIGHT WITH HIMSELF OVER HIS YEARS LASTING CRUSH ON EDDIE?? OH MY GOD IT WAS SO OBVIOUS THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS GAY AND I DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL THE 2ND MOVIE WHEN HE HAS A BREAKDOWN BECAHSE HIS SOULMATE GETS STABBED BY HOMOPHOBIC FORTNITE DANCING CLOWN WHILR HE TRIES TO SAVE HIMA DN THEN FUCKIN G DIES EVEN THOUGHT THESE 2 IDIOTS HAD MORE CHEMISTRY THAN BILL+BEV AND BEN+BEV COMBINED OH MY GOD IM SO MAD THE HETEROS GET TO LIVE BY TRUE LOVE BUT THE GAYS DONT AND UG G H H G G HH "hes dead" NO HE FUCKING IS NOT THIS ISNT FAIR I LOVED EDDIE SO MUCH

well uh now that we got my love for richie on papet um

the lake scene

i cried and i had to watch heteros kiss underwater while wiping my tears. its only cool when percabeth does it guys

the lake scene aside i full on BAWLED LIKE A BABY at the ending because i felt so bad that stan died already and i felt bad that not only was richie facing years if bullying and homophobia anf the loss of his friends it finally is confirmed that richie had a crush on eddie and i

i just cried man? it hurt me so much as it weighed on me how many jokes richie made, how scared he was when he saw the missing paper of himself, his flashbacks to people calling him names, his speech to eddie and that he had to get dragged out because this fucker obviously couldnt let go of his feelings. and between all of that and stan's letter my brain blocks out everything and focuses on one

R + E

oh my god

OH MY GOD NO

NOW i dont really like watching movies. as a writer myself im really critical of everything involving the world building, the characters, the plot and all that jazz and usually the acting is so bad that i dont feel for the characters but THIS ONE. T H I S O N E

my mom turned to me and was SO SHOCKED to see my flat out CRYING because i just dont do that man, and she just asked my what made me cry and i just made a noise like "hhhnnnn" and she nodded and went "richie's love story" and i, still crying, went "hhhnnnn" but in a higher pitch

and im just so mad? that eddie didnt get to live?? we didnt get an "i love you" or even a "im gay" from richie??? we didnt get to see them holding hands and letting go of their trauma together and being gay and happy yet

yet the fucking bad-writer-white-boy and boo-hoo-i-had-no-friends and not-bev get happy endings??? mike can get a happy ending because he is a well thought out character

thESE 3 ON THE OTHER HAND OH MY GOD

bill had to change his endings which really makes me angry because ima writer yada yada

bill has been bullied his uh what whole life? he got told his opinion didnt matter and from what i remember even his parents shut down his ideas and i feel like he should have made the endings how he wanted instead of changing to what the public wanted. thats what he defended as a kid, thats why he was in the losers club unwilling to change, because they were losers. yet he changed.

ben should have stayed fat or at least have abnornal weight because that also defeats his story with bev. it makes it seem that suddenly and magically when ben is hot bev can BEGIN to consider that she loves him.

i already ranted about bev.

mike is decent i guess? i like that he didnt stay with whoever the fuck that was in the first movie because he seemed very aggreasive to me. im glad the chose to research into pennywise because others were too stupid not to (RICH AND EDDIE GET A PASS AGAIN BECAUSE THEY SHARE HALF A BRAINCELL AND I LOVE THEM)

well stan is just tragic

___

me: who the fuck is afraid of spiders why do they keep showing up

mom: its stan?

mom: he brought the hair things and all

me, about to cry: oh m y god

---

so TL;DR: we really liked the first film! the acting, the plot, the creepiness is overall better and you get to relate to a bunch of Losers who get abused by their parents

the 2nd film doesnt exist. i refuse to acknowledge it exist EXCEPT for the ending where stan writes a letter about how he would like to meet hks friends again while BREATHING and richie and eddie carve their initials on a piece of wood and get to be gay.

if your name starts with B your opinion is invalid in the 2nd movie

also can anybody give me fanfics where the fortnite dancing clown doesnt exist and richie goes to therapy to heal from the bullying and once he gets over his homophobia he gays with eddie??? specific i know but im willing to write it if it doesnt exist

#ghost reviews movies #i guess?#it (movie)#it (2017)#it (2019)#spoilers #tw abuse mention #tw homophobia mention #tw suicide mention #this is a #rant #AND A #vent #BECAUSE OF RICHIE AND RICHIE ONLY #long post

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leegeumhyuks · 7 years ago

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Seventeen in Toronto Highlights (Long Post)

this is gonna be such a shit post im basically ranting bc i have a lot of seventeen feels rn (its gonna be long too)

the concert happened like 4 days ago and I’m still not over it

Okay so I live in new Brunswick so it was a 15 hour drive one way. We drove up the day before and drove home the day after.

It was tiring, but so worth it. One of the best experiences of my life(oh btw i went with a friend ^^)

(not relevant to the concert but we went to a cute Korean store called Sarah and Tom which had a MASSIVE collection of kpop albums so I bought Going Seventeen and a BTS album :) )

Alright so the concert was at a place called Massey Hall which is more like a theater than a concert stadium [lowkey looked like a place you would go to see a play or an opera or some shit]

it was a pretty small place so really no matter where you sat, you could see really well so any seat was a good seat

Me and my friend were center-balcony near the back so we had a very clear view of the stage (other than there was some tall dude in front of me so it was a bit difficult at times)

We arrived outside the venue at around 6:20 (concert started at 7) and the line to get in already went around a whole block. People were stopping to ask what was going on and apparently it made the Toronto news??

So we get in at around 6:40 and the venue is already more than half full and theyre just playing music videos and everyone was singing along

And when I say everyone was singing along i mean everyone

Honestly I only remember a few of the songs but I they played BoomBoom, Very Nice, Highlight, Healing, and Check In

I have never been happier in my entire life when every single damn person in the venue did Mingyu’s “WhhoAHHH YeaAAHHH’ part. Super. Fucking. Loud

Alright so let me tell you my dudes, It was the biggest adrenaline rush when all the lights went out and you could see the boys run out on stage in the dimness. My heart felt like it stopped.

The lights turn on and I hear Dokyum say “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Diamond Edge” but honestly I wasnt even paying attention bc I was just so blown away

Literally my very first thought upon seeing them was “They’re not real” bc the very first person I looked at was Jeonghan and I thought he was so damn gorgeous he must be fake

He’s literal ethereal. I could go off about how good looking he is. Honestly the true visual of Svt (i swear hes not my bias)

So the very first stage was Pretty U and honestly I dont remember much bc i was too busy freaking out over the fact that I was actually there and they were actually here. I just remember everyone dancing along to Dokyums “Neoneoneoneo” part and all of us doing the “Yeppeuda” part

(they performed Beautiful right after and i really dont remember much of it other than the dance in the chorus [i have such a shit memory its mainly why im making this post before ill forget it all])

So after that they went straight into Adore U (which is my fav svt song although it probably isnt anymore after habits but ill talk about that in a bit)

Oh man if you thought I went off about Jeonghans visuals let me tell you about this mans vocals. They’re so sweet. Sweeter than honey. Jeonghans part in the chorus is my absolute favorite part of the song and it sounds 10000x better live. He just sings it so flawlessly while doing the dance and overall I was just so impressed??

Jihoon also sounded amazing but like let me just take a minute and say every single member sounded fucking perfect and flawless like if you aren’t stanning Seventeen then what are you doing

And the dances were so on point too. I didn’t notice any slip ups or anybody trippin or nothing. Like you’d think they’d show signs of fatigue or being tired bc they did two shows the few days before but they were all so hyped and gave their all in every stage and they genuinely looked like they were enjoying themselves

Anyways back to Adore U

Everyone in the crowd did the “Akkinda” part and I could see Soonyoung smiling so big bc of that like he was really happy bc of it

After Adore U finished they all lined up to do their intros and introduced themselves as a group and then did their individual intros

Most of them just did a casual “Hi I’m ___” but then you had the extra™️ members

Soonyoung got us all to chant something (im not sure what it was exactly I think it was ‘rock the beat’) and then he did his usual “What time is it??” “10 Hour 10 Minute” which honestly made my life i was hoping for him to do that (i love soonyoung sm honestly most of my favorite moments of the concert were bc of him)

Dokyum also did a thing where he got everyone to scream for him

All of their intros were great but none of them were as memorable as Jihoons for me

I know a lot of people were saying ‘He’s not that small in person’, but to me he was so small and cute and I just wanted to go and hug him bc hes so freaking adorable

So Jihoon’s kinda quiet and shy in general, we know that from variety shows and such but I saw it a lot in the concert. Like when other members were talking he just stood quietly with his hands folded and there was this one part where they all ran towards the edge of the stage and gave hearts and Jihoon like covered his face a bit and looked embarrassed

So anyways he does like this cute little “Hi guys” and I just fucking melted right there. I made an audible “awwwww” sound that my friend was like ???

I love Jihoon so much and I will forever see him as the cute and adorable little smol (boi got a voice tho holy shit)

So they talked a bit more after that about how they walked around Toronto a bit the day before and how they were impressed with the crowd dancing along to Pretty U and Mingyu taught us a little chant where they would say “Seventeen Carat” and we would go ‘clap clap Ehhhhh’ it was weird but cute

So they went straight into Still Lonely from there and I hate my brain for not remembering most of it bc its one of my favorite songs but I just remember Minghao doing Jun’s part in the last chorus and sounding amazing honestly i want an official 13 member version of that song

So after that was Very Nice which was indeed, very nice. Dancing on point. Dino and Vernons rap were amazing and the whole audience did the “Maja” part

Also dont remember much of that stage but I definitely remember the last part bc thats the part where my son, Chan, is in the front. 10/10

Okay so I have 2 favorite performances of the night. One of which was Swimming Fool. I am such a hoe for Performance unit (considering 2 of my biases are in it) so actually every performance of theirs was my fav but Swimming Fool tho.

That song is one of my favs and I had never seen the dance before so I was basically dying the whole time. Soonyoung’s little wiggle dance and the jumping up and down dance that Chan did. The whole dance was so cute tbh Ive been re-watching that video every day since. (if youve never seen the dance pls watch this. Not my video tho)

Alright imma talk about Soonyoung for a minute. This boi. Was so hyper the entire concert. He was doing his usual yelling during songs and was giggling a whole lot, I noticed. (He also dabbed like 20 times and i was like someone pls stop him)

(There was one part where he went and dabbed right in front of Jihoon and i laughed a little harder than i should have)

And I’m honestly so glad that Soonyoung was feeling great the whole time bc apparently at the Chicago(?) show he wasn’t able to perform bc he was sick so we were extremely blessed that all 13 members were well and healthy to perform for us so like thank u jesus for keeping them all safe

(I was lowkey worried about that a lot before the concert bc of when I heard Hyungwon was missing parts of the tour with MX so I was like ��Lord pls let it be all 13″)

anywho so all the members went to change outfits and they played a vcr (dont remember what of tho i have such a shit memory)

So yall they did Mansae next and started out with the class chairs and Dokyum was the teacher at the blackboard it was rlly cute!! ^^ And towards the end they repeated the “MansaeMansae” part and got everyone to do the dance it was such a great time

So while the rest of the group was preparing for the next stage(i presume), Chan and Seungcheol came out, just the two of them, with a gopro and said it was the camera for “Going Seventeen” and were filming the crowd and interacting with us a bit. And then they had a dance battle (Which Dino clearly won Seungcheol didnt stand a chance against Michael Chanson)

So then everybody came out and did BoomBoom which was incredible (every stage was amazing i feel like i shouldnt have to say it) Most of the crowd even did the shirt thing which was really fun. Chan slayed his rap (i love my son)

So after that there was another vcr and the members changed outfits again

Vocal unit came out and sang We Gonna Make It Shine and boys let me say I have never fell in love with someone vocals so much before in my life. Like I’ve always loved Jihoon’s voice bc it was unique and its got a nasally tone to it and I love it, but hearing it in person made me love it 100x more

And for a while I actually thought Jihoon wasn’t singing?? Bc he just sounded so flawless, like exactly like the recording that I thought ‘maybe hes lip singing bc his throat is bad or something’ and I’m hitting myself now for even thinking that bc really Lee Jihoon is just the most amazing vocalist I’ve ever heard Boo Seungkwan who???

So yeah Vocal unit slayed even though I’ll always like the 2014 version of that song with Soonyoung better

As soon as that song ended they went straight into Don’t Listen and omg let me talk about visuals. The stage had this whole setup with a table with some fancy ass candles on it and there was a throne that Joshua was sitting in and the lighting was really eerie and I really don’t listen to that song much but im gonna listen to it every day from now on bc damn

HipHop unit had their turn next where they did some song which I had never heard of before called “On Haeng Il Chi” and it was dope then went into Check In and once again everyone did Mingyus “ohhhhhHHh yeahH” part (glorious I tell you)

Seungcheol was serving looks the whole time bc he was wearing this black suit set and he just looked so good the whole time. Honestly Seungcheol was such a tease the whole concert and i got a look at his thighs at one point and man he thicc

Vernon was also wearing this nice green shirt and I just really liked it for some reason and I wish I had taken more pictures and videos I hate myself for not doing that

AlrIGHT Performance Unit time!!! So leadin up to the concert I thought they were gonna perform “WHO” bc it was a bonus track and I just thought they would perform it for some reason so when they were all standing there ready for the song to start, the amount of confusion on my face when OMG came on… Wasn’t disappointed tho that performance was awesome

Still would like to see a performance of WHO tho I hope they’ll do that next time

And then they did Highlight and me and my friend even switched seats so I could get a better video of it bc I love that song so much. Also leading up to the concert I knew they were going to do this song but I wasn’t sure if they were going to do 13 member version or not but I’m glad it was just the 4 of them

Oh man okay I’m gonna talk about my bias, Chan, for a second. His stage presence in every song is seriously amazing. A main reason why hes my bias is bc im a huge fan of his dancing and his dance style(and he pretty cute) and seeing him perform live was incredible. it was almost overwhelming bc I couldnt believe someone this talented existed and I was watching them in their element

Like he put his all into the dance while still executing his raps and vocals perfectly. His voice actually does sound a bit different live, like its a bit higher than I expected but he was so on point the whole night why is he such an underrated member

Okay so the members had another outfit change after this and these outfits were straight up sinful. Not to mention the first song they performed in them was equally as sinful so I’m going to on about this performance bc this was the best performance imo. I will never forget it. It’s ingrained into my brain forever

So Crazy In Love starts. Okay so I don’t listen to this song much as far as just listening to it in my free time, but I’d seen the dance before so as soon as I heard the music, I knew we were royally fucked. I wasn’t expecting this song probably bc i forgot it existed but its my new fav song guys this performance ruined me.

So the lights come on at the very first part and these mofos are wearing tight black skinny pants (which looked like they were leather but they werent) and red silk sparkly shirts that were tucked in. Every single member looked flawless

(Also didn’t mention this before but all of their hair was styled so well bless the stylists. I normally prefer a more natural color for hair on idols so I was glad the colorful dye had faded and most of them just went with black or brown)

But lord have mercy when the song started. Okay Chan is my bias but I could not stop staring at Soonyoung almost the entire time - minus for Chan’s “talking about love” part (which I remember doing the dance for and screaming while doing so)

Like you get Swimming Fool Soonyoung whos all cute and playful and going “YEEEE HAWW” during the song and then you get Crazy In Love Soonyoung whos all bedroom eyes and sexy glares and just everything about the way he moves is mesmerizing (i swear. Hes NOT my bias)

So getting through the first chorus is hard enough when BOTH my bias and bias wrecker are up in front doing that provocative shit and I was so conflicted on which one to stare at but I ended up staring at Soonyoung the whole time.

And then in the second chorus when it’s just Jeonghan doing it and both me and my friend screamed so loud ugh the outfits were so perfect for this dance i wanted to D I E

And then it gets to the Part in the song yknow the “Ooohhhhh” part where they spin around and when it was Soonyoungs part to do that by himself. I don’t even have words for how that made me feel. That image is in my mind forever. You know that meme thats like “you ever wonder whats going on in someones head?” well yeah its that for me

It’s just Soonyung doing that one dance move

okay moving on Ive talked about this enough

My I was right after and I’d never seen the dance to that either and it was really beautiful and cool like idk how to describe it. It was like a very romantic type of dance and Jun and Minghao had such great chemistry on stage together they really blew me away

OKay now imma freak out some more bc Vocal Unit performed Habits. I actually recorded this whole song so I wasn’t really paying attention to what was happening on stage bc they were all just standing there with mic stand anyways. I was enjoying the audio and their lovely vocals. (Again, Jihoon really exceeded my expectations in this song. Like for some members like Dokyum and Seungkwan I know theyre gonna sound great and its not like I didn’t for the rest but I’m just still not over how good EVERYONE sounded)

So I’m enjoying them vocals and the song ends and my friend taps on my arm and points to her face and there are actual tears. This bitch really cried. At the time I was like “during Habits of all songs??” but i was so naive now I understand(I cried 2 days later listening to that song)

Hiphop unit then did If I which I remember 0 of I think I was still too shook from Vocal Unit

I just remember their little hip thrust dance and then immediately after was a ment and Soonyoung was mimicking HH units dance and giggling like an idiot and got the whole crowd to sing and dance to If I

“Ohh Toronto. Dancing good”

Then they were all arguing over which unit’s performance suited Toronto the best but then decided that they all did

And then Soonyoung dabbed

Too many times

Everyone also dabbed with him this group is a M E S S

And then they got Jeonghan to do Aegyo so he spun around and made a heart and said “Toronto I love you!” in the cutest voice possible I swear I’m in love with Jeonghans voice

And then Wonwoo did a cute little dance to which we all chanted ‘Go Wonwoo’ for and then Soonyoung dabbed

again

(It made Jihoon cringe every time)

Then Jeonghan tried to get Seungkwan to sing something and Boo was like ‘moVING ON” but he gave in and sang a bit of Hello by adele which was really nice. Like damn the acoustics in that theater were no joke bc its a theater (i assume) made for plays and stuff and him singing without any track sounded really nice.

And then they asked my boi Chan to dance so he started singing Billie Jean by Michael Jackson and doing the hipthrust dance and Seungkwan ran over like ‘nOO”. But Chan just kept dancing and singing and having a good time and being w i l d to which Seungcheol cracked up at. He literally fell on the floor laughing

And they kept going on about how this was a totally special stage for Toronto, “only for Toronto”

So then they went on to say they were gonna perform a very “hot” song next and my clueless ass was like ‘Don’t wanna cry?’ but naw it was ROCK which I only recorded part of bc the lighting was bad and my phone sucks

But okay I can just say that Wonwoo’s voice sounds 10x deeper in person. If you thought his rap was really deep in that song, wait until you hear it live. For a long time Wonwoo was my favorite rapper in kpop and I think hes regaining that title he was very good the whole night and I really like his deep voice

and then they did Chuck which was SO AMAZING HOLY CRAP

I love that song sm in the first place but I love it even more now upon seeing and hearing it in person. I recorded a bit of that one too and love it i watch that video like 3 times a day

So then they had another short Ment where they taught us the dance to Chuck and Soonyoung doing the “brrrr” part was so adorable I wanted to die. (I feel like Im talking about Soonyoung a lot but im just so glad he was able to perform in Toronto ilysm)

So then Vernon was like “I actually have some bad new for yall” and all the members were like ‘whaaat??’ and pretending to be shocked

So Vernon goes on: “The next song is actually the last song for the night” and Soonyoung made this fake crying noise and then dabbED LIKE 5 TIMES

That was when he went over to Jihoon and dabbed right in front of him and then was like “Oh my god our last song?”

and then Vernon being the cheeky ass that he is was like “Yeah and I really dont wanna cry about it” and then him and Soonyoung went to the back of the stage to “cry” and all the other members were “crying”

Then Vernon came back and like “I wonder what our next song is tho? Hm????” and im like really bitch

So Soonyoung yelled ‘are you ready’ a few times and then they performed Don’t Wanna Cry which was INCREDIBLE

They were all in perfect sync like im seriously amazed. These boys probably have to practice day and night to get dances like that. It was amazing

So the boys left the stage for a bit and there was a another vcr which was of all the member explaining what carats were to them and it was really sweet and my friend cried again (she cried like 3 times that night) and I died at Jihoons bc there was this short clip of him and hes just so darn cute

so they came out again and performed Shining Diamond but were wearing casual jeans and half were wearing blue shirts and the other half were wearing pink shirts and Soonyoung looked so good in that outfit bc his shirt was tucked in in the front and his hair was just so great

anyways they all looked like they had fun performing that song and Soonyoung was yelling as usual and there was one part of the dance that was super satisfying bc all the colors of the shirts lined up and it was just really nice to look at.

And then they performed Healing which we had special banners to hold up during. There was one part I remember bc I couldnt see bc everyone was holding their banners above their heads, but Seungcheol jumped onto Mingyus back and koala hugged him for a good minute and a half and Mingyu kept trying to get him off and Seungcheol just smiled like an idiot and latched on. Eventually he got down and then grabbed his water bottle and dumped half of it onto the people in the front(splash zone)

So once that song ended, Toronto Carats had actually prepared something special for Seventeen. So certain seats had a red board on it that you would hold up after Healing ended but only so many seats had them so it made a message in the crowd and I think it was just 2 hearts and ‘1 7′ and the members looked really surprised like Vernon and Minghao were next to each other and were like :O

Seungcheol and Jeonghan looked really shocked too, overall none of them expected it

So then the goodbye ments came and I was ready to die as soon as they started. They all said the similar kind of thing like “we had a good time we’ll come again soon ect…”

But Minghao’s was all in english and it was the cutest damn thing i have ever heard in my life. He started out with “Today I am so happy because of our Toronto Carats energy.”

and then says the cutest shit ever: “We are like friends. We look after each other and love each other” He also kept looking over at Vernon to make sure he was saying it right

and then he said something like “we care for each other” and the fkcigingf df went “and everyone, don’t be sick. Always be happy okay?” IN LIKE THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE I WANTED TO SCREAM I MEAN I PROBABLY DID BUT STILL

and then I only remember Chan saying something like “We’ll be back soon, and when we are you have to promise that you’ll come to our show” and then Soonyoung and Seungcheol held out their pinkies for us to promise them and I held my pinky bc I damn promise if they come to Toronto again I will be seeing them for sure. Or I’ll try my best anyways

and they all gave us hearts and said they loved us and did a bow and then all had to leave the stage and I almost cried;;

I remember Soonyoung was the last to leave the stage bc he kept waving and saying goodbye

Also I remember a person sticking their hand out one last time and it was kind funny bc I just see this random hand pop out for like a split second. I didn’t know who it was at the time, but I later found out it was Dokyum :3

So yeah, he’s not my bias, but Soonyoung made my night

Anyways. I’m still having post-concert depression. Honestly I don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to another seventeen song again without crying. All in all, it was one of the best nights of my life and if it wasn’t for my best friend who bought the tickets and surprised me with them and her mom who drove us up the whole long way. Highlight of my summer.

#i say honestly a lot #god this is long #took me like 3 hours to write and i had to watch fancams to remember stuff #i love seventeen so much you guys honestly u dont udneratand #i cried like 3 times the other day #bc of them #seventeen #diamond edge #toronto #2017 #svt #17 #my post #long post

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