#yall absolutely have to stop
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This is super easy, yall. If you don't like a thing, curate your own experience. If you still see it, well, learn to live with it.
You know what is triggering to me? Pregnancy. The words b*tch and c*nt. Shit people say and talk about literally all the time. Do i go around policing it like a fascist? No i mind my fucking business. Have some self control and please stop ruining everyone's day. I promise you everyone is doing their best in this shitty world.
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hey. hey mouthwashing fans. you know that curly isn’t innocent, right? you guys know that he was an enabler, right? you guys know that him being disabled isn’t an excuse for his actions, right?
#johnny/vio rambles#mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#im sure some of yall know this already but good god#please stop treating him like some poor innocent bystander that did absolutely nothing wrong#actually maybe ignore this#i have no clue what I’m talking about#mini rant
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tim and bernard who break up and it's nothing big, no one cheated or anything. it's just their lifestyles didn't work out well together. tim cannot give up vigilantism currently and bear cannot handle the level of danger tim puts himself in. and on the other hand, tim cannot handle the fact that bear chooses to run into danger as an emt bc he already worries about everything but now he has to worry if he'll find his boyfriend convulsing from fear gas in a random alley but also bear who felt the life drain out of darla cannot stand the thought of not helping people and runs headfirst into dangerous situation after dangerous situation hoping that every person he saves can somehow make up for the fact that he could not save darla.
(he very pointedly does not think about the fact that there was nothing he could do because if he thinks about that, he'll spiral until they have to lock him in arkham too)
and so they break up but they were tim & bernard in high school and when they started dating they balanced out the worst of each other and they became tim&bernard. and everyone who knows them, knows that they're better together but they cant be together, they refuse actually because they cannot lose another person to the violence of gotham and by the time they figure out that they cant work together as long as the other is an emt or vigilante, it's too late for both them. they've already left too many pieces of themselves in each other.
tim still knows what bear means when he says "tim" in that exasperated voice. tim still goes boneless when he hears bear say "baby" in that firm tone. bear can still read tim like a book. he still knows the right way to massage tim's neck so that tim can go to sleep. everyone at the first responders gala knows not to bother ceo drake-wayne and senior emt dowd when they're talking.
(and if they're standing a little too close to each other than what is normal, who are they to judge? everyone knows that dowd and drake-wayne have history)
and if everyone on the night shift has caught red robin with his head tucked into the crook of emt dowd's neck as emt dowd runs a soothing hand up and down the vigilante's back, well then, they just quietly back away.
(after all, dowd's one of like, five, emts that can get the bats to receive medical treatment so if turning a blind eye to whatever the fuck they have going on is what allows them to give back to their heroes, then the night shift will do it every time)
and of course, tim and bear are practical people. they loved (love) each other sure, but when your lives are fundamentally incompatible, well, you cant get too stuck on the what-ifs, that's for sure. and so they do find love with other people and yeah, maybe it's not what they expected love to be when they first fell in love with each other. it's not the bubbly, stomach-swoopy, cant stop grinning, feeling that permeated tim&bernard's early days or the i Know you/you Know me that was their middle or the quiet despair that was their end but it is contentment. and in a life with as many losses as theirs, contentment is something they hold dearly
and they're happy! truly! but sometimes, at galas when they're making each other snort champagne out their noses or in darkened alleyways when their clothes are both stained with blood or at rallies for stricter gun regulations in gotham where they both sit too close to each other, fingers enclosed around each other in a death grip, when the presenters inevitably bring up grieves
(worst school shooting in gotham in decades, there's blood on their hands and blood in their mouths and darla is dead in between both of them and there is a chasm so wide that they are screaming to get their voices across and she will always be dead and maybe this had always been the problem that she is dead and there is no coming back from that and that there is blood on their hands and blood in their mouth and blood on their han-)
but sometimes, most especially on opposite sides of the street, as life pulls them in different directions, just sometimes, they see each other and just for a second, nothing too long, the flap of a hummingbird's wings, the time it takes to blink, an electron's orbital, they look at each other and for the briefest moment, blue on brown, a barely noticeable stutter in their steps, the space between heartbeats, because this is all they will give themselves because they do not dwell on what-ifs or what-could-have-beens, or what-should-have-beens, or delusions of a softer world, their eyes meet and they think to themselves, god, in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with him.
#what the fuck is this#the theme was wistfulness. hopefully that came across right. and like i wanted this to be all 1 text block so you feel how it all collapses#into that 1 thought they have at they end but fuckass tumblr has a 4096??? text limit for a single paragraph???? so here's multiple paragra#anyway here is my middle of the road sad timbern hc. do i think this will happen? no? is this still a fun world to play in? yeah absolutely#also super huge fan of darla haunting the narrative. darla as this chasm they cannot cross. darla as smth they shelter each other from#but also smth like a 2 way blade. it cuts them both. it will never stop cutting them. smth smth the wound will always bleed#also i cannot stress how important it is that they are happy with other people!!! they are both satisfied with other people. it's just that#they have a very specific history and they are the only two people who really know and understand that history#and also it's not that theyre unhappy with their partners but just that smtimes they look at each other and... wonder. in a softer world#maybe i could've been a chef and you could've still been a superhero and we could've still worked out. maybe we would've gotten a boat#together and maybe we could've come home to each other. maybe i could've trusted you to come home to me. maybe you could've#understood my need to help people. maybe we could've held our love as something precious.#maybe in a softer world our love wasn't something that hurt us both.#i need to lay down. im going crazy#as always i do love reading yalls thoughts in the reblogs and replies!!!#bernard dowd#dc#tim drake#timbern#timber
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and happy pride to these assholes. it's still june so i can technially still make that joke right
#the nemesis speaks#nemesis art#malevolent podcast#malevolent fanart#god i hate tagging for new fandoms yall scare me. im stopping there#anyway i have too many directors notes for this. ive developed such a vivid image of john in my head#but absolutely nothing for the dude with the actual physical body lol#idk just thinking abt the fact that the trader said ''two appear before me'' implying he could perceive john visually#but it's hard to wrap my head around like. a totally separate body that john doesn't appear consciously aware of himself#so: i think they are generally tied together. like this.#but anyway yeah. tattered/torn piece of something else. shattered crown. open hood implying a face behind it.#(yellow also has/had a mask and an unbroken crown it's symbolic™)#the stains on the cloak are blood btw! since injury/death so consistently brings these two closer together#(and the red symbolically brings the yellow closer to arthur's brown color scheme)#the blood on the CROWN is legally john's though. or. the king's more accurately.#the intact crown on the king himself pierces through the cloak like barbs#this is all a metaphysical representation and not Actual blood ofc but (gestures vaguely) you get it#i'm talking too much whatever it's very late i probably shouldn't even be posting this WHO CARES#tomorrow i will have my proper pc back and not be drawing on an ipad old enough to have a tumblr acct maybe i'll do something better then#fuck it hit post#mv liveblog#<- almost forgot
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If I see another cherik edit with “my boy only breaks his favorite toys” I’ll just go full insane mode I’m not playing around anymore guysss
#cherik#yall are doing too much#pls NEVER STOP#the pain is so perfect#I have real problems#also why is Taylor songs always so perfect for fandom tropes??? likeee she did that!#Anyway#tortured poets department is absolutely perfect for our old men yaoi ngl#it hits too hard
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i dont want to trample on ur emotions/right to be upset at people getting mad at you for not wanting to be called smth, but like. idk the way youre talking about DID is really weird and rubs me the wrong way.
you have every right to be upset at the people in ur inbox calling you heinous shit, but you dont have to attack (online) DID culture because of these people. it's reading very fakeclaim-y
I don’t think you would recognize sarcasm if it punched you in the face
#yeah I’m totally fakeclaiming all these people by telling them to leave me the fuck alone and stop calling me a singlet#that’s definitely what’s going on here#fucking unfollow me yall are so hateful and whiny#go on your blog and scream and cry about how mean I am for having DID and not accepting being called a singlet#you’re such a fucking victim omg poor you#won’t everyone please think of the anons?!?!?!!???!!!!#won’t everyone PLEASE think of these POOR INNOCENT WIDDLE BABIES screaming absolute nonsense ableism at you?!?!??!!!!!!!#did you know: the unfollow and block button are free
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Hey fellas i have a horrible feeling my parents are using the new stupid internet booster thing that came with our internet to restrict the websites im able to access and i hope its just a coincidence that for some reason when im connected to the internet that social media apps arent working but considering how eero has the ability for someone to manually turn off access to certain sites its looking fucking bleak
#im gonna have to tell them that either they leave my shit alone or i dont pay rent#im not doing this#i do not keep myself caged here by giving them so much as my minimal income that i cant save up to move out for them to stop me from using#the internet that my rent helps pay for#absolutely not#i'll update yall on what the fuck is going on when my dad gets back from dropping mum off from work
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Brody showed up to work this week! OMG!!! Does he want a medal?? Josh Boone has a CHILD and he’s in more than Brody.
And I know you’re going to use the shitty excuse “he’s been in a lot!!!” but that’s bullshit. Why are we praising an adult man for showing up to work.
why do you care? why are you bitching about him being absent? and i know you’re gonna use the shitty excuse “Oh BuT hE HaSnT bEeN iN!” but like…he has been? this message is confusing lmfao do you want him to be in or not? you’re insinuating both. make your intentions clear.
im saying its nice that he’s in more is all. if you don’t like what i post or what i say on MY blog mind you then block me.
also i think you should come off anon and talk to me face to face but whatever. be a coward and use the mask of anonymity to hide who you are. i find it funny all these people who are anti outsiders or anti brody choose to stay on anon. like say it to my face. if i can answer you without anonymity have the decency to say this kind of thing to my face.
and btw i’m not praising him for “going to work” im saying it’s nice that he’s in more and seems to be enjoying his job again. and why do his absence matter so much to you? why does it bother you so much that he’s out and that i post about it being a good thing that someone seems to be finally having fun at their job after a rough patch?don’t put words in my mouth.
so cry about it and block me if you’d not like my content. thank you!
(just figured i’d mention by the way that i’m not saying that if you dislike brody you’re automatically on my shit list. everyone is entitled to their own opinions. everyone is allowed to think whatever they want AS LONG AS IT ISNT HURTING ANYONE. but i do think it’s funny how im the one everyone sends anonymous brody hate to like some of the things you anti brody people say about him are WILD. so yes. i will defend him in the reason that nobody should be bitching about his absences or saying rude things, but i absolutely don’t want it to seem like i’m saying that you HAVE to like him. You don’t have to like him but it’s possible to not like him without being a huge jerk to him or anyone who supports him.)
#seriously if you don’t like what i post block me lmfao no need to send these cowardly ass anon messages that you’re too scared to say to my#<<face#don’t put words in my mouth#rude anon#oh btw stop bitching about his absences because it’s not your business and if you have a problem then don’t be in the community?#i dunno bright idea but if you don’t like someone maybe stop supporting the media they’re in?#and if you don’t support the outsiders then my blog certainly isn’t for you since i run a fairly big account FOR the outsiders#so uh yeah there was no enedbfot me to wake up to this in my inbox#if you don’t like then block my blog#brody grant#i also find it funny that any and all brody hate gets sent to me like i won’t absolutely tear you apart lmao#it’s not even about defending him because he doesn’t need the defending it’s just the reasons yall hate him are WILD#like i couldn’t give a shit less about if you like him or if you don’t because everyone is entitled to their own opinions#but some of the anon asks i’ve been sent about him are insane#like grow up lmao i posted smth on my blog saying it’s good he’s in the show more. so have a billion other people. you gonna bitch to them?#goodbye#fuck off
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WHAT THE FUCCCKKK WHY DID IT END LIKE THAT??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#…..yeah u alrwady know whats up#the amazing digital circus#spoilers in the next tags now ofc#ragatha…….. my dear ragatha trying her absolute fucking hardest to cheer pomni up#we all saw it coming a mile away bless her soul#and the entire scene under the map#pomni immediately latching onto gummy goo’s misery and being so soft and comforting made me want to THROW UP AND BAWL MY EYES OUT#bc….. rags doesnt know that if she just stopped trying to act overly positive and push everything that happened to her aside#and instead was real with her and tried to find ways they felt similar about being trapped#she would have been so much more successful in helping her like she wanted#FUUUCKKK!!!!!!!!#and the FUCKING FUNERAL FOR KAUFMO?????#jaw dropped when zooble came in saying that#that whole fucking end scene makes me want to throw up and BAWL#THE HANDS REACHING OUT TO POMNI AND CATCHING HER#OUGHDHFHFHHHH#the ragapom enjoyers have been fed.#btw#i have been fed#rewatching throwing up shitting and crying#two big rips to gummy goo and gangles happy mask only being on for 4 minutes and 7 seconds (yeah i checked)#anyway ragatha and pomnis voices are so nice inlove women#and jax showing an emotion for a 000000.00001th of a frame#the jax fans are gonna go crazy over that i can tell#yall can have him but also that facial expression couldve been abt queenie just my hunch tho#SPEAKING OF kinger having a split second of clarity talkin to rags in that scene?#he was absolutely fatherly to her when she first appeared#wish we could see this so bad#time to be normal now alr buhbye#slaps a lesbian sticker on ragatha for doing like 4 finger guns and flirting with the queen
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Your solnep gives me life <3
give power!!! give life!!!
a powerhouse of a duo!!!
#art#digital art#procreate#homestuck#solnep#nepeta leijon#sollux captor#thank you so much though anon!!!!#these two are a killer crew and cannot be stopped!!!!#sollux gets lifted by nep constantly when she wants to work out its just the whole being lifted up part thats weird to him#it feels weird not having to use your powers and being hoisted up by a little menace#could yall imagine these two sparring??? absolutely crazy chaos#like yea nep doesnt really have powers going for her but she is SPEEDY and jokes shes gonna nibble his ankles#she actually did once just to mess with him and he wasnt the most thrilled by that#sollux chucks nep thinking “yea she'll be tired after this one” after repeatedly doing so and watching her recover#she gets back up every single time she just has so much energy#also hey the first time i drew nep with her hat on aint that wild#i dont usually draw her with her hat and i know its like a 50/50 with people who do#i mostly dont draw it bc i like drawing her absolute mess of a mane#it is fun for the little doodles tho
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This might sound attention seeking so I'm sorry if it does, it is not my intention, I am just looking for a distraction.
Since my anxiety is actively trying to kill me, I'd really appreciate some asks or something
The more bizarre the question, the better, but I'll take things for my wips or ocs
Just anything to distract me from the fact I feel rather miserable lately
*i get sappy in the tags*
#i have been absolutely going through it for a long ass time now#and i sincerely appreciate everyone who has stayed and supported me/my work#i am so awful at really expressing it but i do not know where i would be without the support im getting from some of yall#yall are so patient with me even though i am constantly complaining and just avoiding working on certain wips because im stuck#im having a health problem that is making me seriously reconsider if i should go back to school in january#and its added a layer of stress to the already stressful process of enrolling in college#i have so many things i still need to get done for going back soon but my health may end up not allowing me to go back in january#its absolutely terrifying still not having a definite on whats going to happen come the new year#and its made engaging on here difficult#its made writing difficult#its made honestly just existing difficult but that i can cope with#i really appreciate everyone that has stopped by and taken time to hang out on my blog with me#it really does mean so much to me and i really wish i could get these personal things figured out sooner#so i can give back to yall for what youve done for me#certified snootles moment
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"yes im so fine"
*researches whether i can get my hands on ipecac*
#tw ed#obligatory MASSIVE do not do this#straight up poison that can kill you from one (1) time#used to be used to induce vomiting#directly the cause of death of karen carpenter and countless others#i wont i swear i wont#but i still researched it bc i was curious#tbh there are easier ways of poisoing oneself than semi illegal drugs#also if yall remember the post about a poison i own: i did more reseach and while that amount would probably kill me w no medical#intervention; it would take just under three times as much to be absolutely certain of hitting the toxic dose (calculated quantity per kg#of the top end of a given range. so it could kill me but if i was gonna go out that way id want about three times as much to be sure.)#honestly surprised ive never heard of any deaths from it. the most likely way to survive would be to throw it up i think#(or present to hospital and take charcoal or smth)#honestly though. my research says loss of consciousness and required intubation within half an hour in case studies#hence if you werent in reach of medical attention youd probably collapse an die#and i am very deliberately NOT mentioning what it is bc of how toxic it is#ive thought of combining it and another method to be absolutely sure but eh#honestly if it DIDNT work it sounds straight up embarrassing to admit to people tho thats one of the things stopping me#but literally a dose in a child requiring intubation and kid ended up in a coma recovered w no ill effects.#thats the dream yk. try and succeed and youre free; try and fail and you see no ill effects.#but yeah i wouldnt try w only the amount i have.#so im safe#....rereading the above. okay i might be a little mentally ill lol#but i am safe and absolutely nobody call the cops on me.#im fine.#tw suicide#puddleglum hours#nobody worry abt me ok. im fine.#just thinking silly lil thoughts like usual :)#EDIT: just occurred to me that using this poison could make it not look like a suicide
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Was anybody going to tell me last 200 pages of The Great Hunt were absolutely life-changing incredible or was I supposed to find that out by losing my shit on a plane myself?
#spoilers in the tags for wheel of time book 2#yall this book--#THIS FUCKING BOOK#Robert Jordan was a genuine GOD of writing#TEOTW was a bit slow but this????#this has shaped me into a whole new person#first just the egwene rescue squad was top tier I would die for every single one of the girls#and then the Team Horn#just#absolute chaos#“the horn needs to be in Illian for tarmon gai'don but it doesn't say anything about it being sound earlier”#PEAK COMEDY#Mat my BELOVED never change#anyway ever since I finished this like a week ago I have not been able to stop thinking about these books and I am not complaining#started tdr immediately after and will continue on tuesday!!! can't wait to lose my shit all over again#god bless wheel of time#the great hunt#wheel of time#wheel of time books#tgh#robert jordan
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hi toniiswrld !!
i don’t like being vulnerable on the internet cuz i like to be mysterious but !! unfortunately i have fallen into a depressive episode and its gotten a lot worse over the weeks (if you noticed how inconsistent my posts have gotten 😭) and i haven’t really been feeling like writing that much as well as doing literally anything, so posts are gonna be a lot slower !! i think right now i’ll still be updating who’s that girl on schedule since there’s not much writing, but i’m closing hard hours+requests just for a bit until i feel a little better <3 and of course i’ll still post some things just when i feel like it
#i didn’t wanna stop posting and yall think im abandoning my blog#cuz i’ve done that before 😭 BUT i love you guys too much for that#also i completely cleared out my inbox cuz it was overwhelming me so if you sent in an ask i might have deleted it#i have a few saved in my drafts tho since i planned on writing a little bit more on them#life beating my ass rn… with absolutely no remorse
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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Guess who's back on her nonsense?
✨me✨
aka skz as @ao3-crack posts, shoot #2 part 1
#stray kids#skz#skz stay#bystay#skz memes#my memes#skz edits#skz five star#skz 5 star#hi chris how ya doin#yall know i couldn't have a dbz meme and just Not put it with Chan#i also dont think i could've found a more perfect one for IN in the entire batch of my findings#nor will i stop making memes to reference Seungmin staring demon eyed at Hyunjin in the shower (but not looking down)#it's not my fault i keep finding memes that fit that exact situation regardless of the fact that it's from like 2018#doesn't take long to think these things up nor does it take me long to make them individually but collectively?#takes a minute#but i had to do something with my hands on memorial day while the dads were talking about guns and work and stuff#and yes i realize that is an extremely American sentence but it's absolutely true#i really didnt mind but my dad's the one who knows things about guns not me#i can shoot semi accurately to everyone's surprise#the important part is to be safe kids#and to make good memes#why does this sound like a sex ed psa video from the 80s or something#thank goodness i had a better education than that#anyway time to shut up#enjoy guys
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