#yah yah dramatic and I’m not that gr8
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feel like the sun the way no one will look directly at me in all my magnificence
#yah yah dramatic and I’m not that gr8#but I have wonderful things abt me ik i do#even when I’m all self loathing ik there’s still undeniable good here#anyway point is#all my best parts everything I love in myself#no one will even glance at and it drives me crazy#anyone who sees me looks so briefly#through some kinda lense that obscures me#and it’s all so so so shallow#o man not to sound like a 13 yr old loser poet but straight up cb was my moon#probs why I absolutely burned for him he reflected everything I love about myself & therefore loved him#but anyway. such a lonely experience. I’m here. Im bright#I’m not hiding behind a single cloud fuckin hell#I’m always coming at things with authenticity and vulnerability#and everyone is shielding their view I swear#look at me LOOK AT ME#I’m not gonna blind u#cb said when we met i stood out cos i radiated warmth#and this is exactly what i fucking mean#I’m tryna rádiate that warmth and ppl are like hiding from me going brrrr cold and dark here . can’t see much#then they switch on some god awful fluorescents to see what they wanna. badly#😔#whole self is going through it#I think this is pluto retrograding in cap again. cap stellium is displeased
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Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1
Chapter Index
»»—————————————-
Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually.
I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.
(Binnie)
R u still on the train?
Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins
(Eunuwu)
Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?
Funny
Yk I can’t move out, at least not on my own. My parents won’t allow it
(Binnie)
:/
What about Jaehyun?
Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh
They’re just hell-bent on me getting into the top schools and shit
(Eunuwu)
Damn, rough
Mhm
(Binnie)
Try talking to them, u never know
They might change their minds?
Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end
Me crying and stuffing myself with pints of ice cream
(Eunuwu)
Doesn't sound so bad
(Binnie)
¬_¬
(Eunuwu)
Except for the crying part ofc
But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad
I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice
(Binnie)
U’ve been to her house??
Yeah him and oppa are friends too
(Binnie)
Righttt forgot lol
And that’s bc you were there dumbass and half of the time ur either in oppa’s room or out somewhere
Interaction with my parents = minimal
(Binnie)
That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna
But hey we should all hang soon!
(Eunuwu)
I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?
�� I miss y’all :’(
Ok I should be there around like 5 ish so I’ll text then
(Binnie)
Aww I miss u toooo
(Eunuwu)
*puke*
Shut up, ur just jealous
(Eunuwu)
Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?
Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already
And personality 0:)
Gr8, explains why ur still single
(Binnie)
LOLL
She got u there bro
(Eunuwu)
Shut up
Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf
Idiot
(Binnie)
At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol
See? My point exactly
Your fAcE scared off every girl in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy
I almost feel bad for them, u little heart breaker
(Binnie)
He made a couple of em cry I heard
Rlly?!?
YAH
U MORON
(Eunuwu)
Bin wtf
(Binnie)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
U JERK HOW COULD U??
Those poor girls omg
Im so kicking ur ass when I c u
(Binnie)
Me 2
(Eunuwu)
Wtf?? Y???
(Binnie)
No reason lol, just feel like it
And this is why ily Binnie
(Binnie)
:D <3
(Eunuwu)
GROSS
Can it u demon
Read 4:02 PM
I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated.
Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends.
That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side.
Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another.
Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.
My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.
“What?”
He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”
I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”
“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”
“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”
He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.”
There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”
“Yeah, give or take.”
I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away.
“What, you miss me?”
He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.”
“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”
“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”
“Shut up.”
I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.
“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”
I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”
“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”
“Oppa!”
Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”
He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.
As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.
God knows where I’d be sent to now.
***
“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.”
That’s my stop.
Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation.
Four long years away from Seoul...
Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.
It sure as hell feels good to be back home.
I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.
“Hyuna, over here!”
I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”
He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide.
Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.
He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”
I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”
He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.
“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?”
I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.
“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”
At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!”
“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail.
“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul.
What can I say? It’s a talent.
He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.
“Welcome home, sis.”
I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder.
“Good to be back,” I whisper.
We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment.
He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”
“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.
“Can I—”
“No.”
“Please—”
“Nope.”
I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat.
“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”
Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.
With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.
My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |
#moonbin x oc#moonbin ff#moonbin fic#moon bin#cha eunwoo#jung jaehyun#astro#nct#fanfiction#my writings#mine
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