#ya we were trespassing who cares. shut up.

[penisliker-moved]

sometimss im like maybe i dont have anxiety maybe im just a scared little bitch (as if anxiety isnt scared little bitch dksorder) bc i dont get scared of like. the killers. well i do actually but thats not the point. but then i think of sometjing that scares me and i have a brief moment of rational thought where im like hey? thats thendumbest thing uve ever said

[shurisneakers]

harmless (iv)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, guns, mention of war, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: good evening i’ve never been to any of the places i mention in this series so dont come @ me

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them 

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

He spends the weekend doing nothing. It’s supposed to be relaxing. He finds it nauseatingly boring.

“No mini mission this week?” Steve asks him from across the couch. 

They’re supposed to be catching up on Star Wars but two prequels in and Bucky could feel himself lose his sanity. Anyone could present him with a random assortment of alphabets, call it a Star Wars species and he would have no reason not to believe them.

It’s not like he doesn’t like space. It’s just that he’s had enough of it and everything and everyone who came from it for the foreseeable future.

“No. Someone else is taking care of it.”

“Didn’t you volunteer for this?”

“I pulled myself out of the case.”

“I thought you were having fun.” 

Bucky’s head slowly turns to look at him. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know,” Steve shrugged. “Looked like you were.”

Well, he wasn’t. He likes it here at home, glued to the TV. Popcorn beside him, sweatpants on. Refreshing, calming, slow, mundane, and Jesus Christ, so fucking boring-

His spiralling is interrupted by the dinging of the elevator to the common floor. No one was allowed up there unless it was extremely urgent. Guests were barely allowed into the Tower as it was. 

It reveals the receptionist from downstairs, Marie. She’s always a little reserved, a little shy. But Bucky had seen her chew and spit out trespassers or anyone who dared to get on her nerve. He adores her.

“Hey, Marie,” Steve says while Bucky sends her a friendly wave in greeting. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a hostage situation downtown,” she informs them. 

“Okay...” Steve drawls, waiting for a reason why this was an Avengers level threat.

“They’ve asked for Mr. Barnes by name.” She makes a mention towards him.

Bucky sits up straight. Bits of popcorn fall off his chest. 

“What?”

“They said, and I quote-” she looks down at her notepad. “‘Tell that grumpy motherfucker that I’m waiting for him and that he’s not getting out of this so easily because we have come too far.’ End quote. They’ve also told me to include a kissing emoji. And a skull.”

Steve and he look at each other.

“Well?” Steve prods. 

Bucky sighs and gets up to go get ready.

The entrance of Chuck E. Cheese is more crowded than he’d ever seen. He wasn’t even sure he’d seen people in the store before. If there were, they probably only came up till his waist. 

There are a few journalists, a few policemen standing together outside. Whispers of confusion and curiosity reigned free. 

Bucky gently pushes his way to the front. He gets a nod from a police officer who opens the door for him after a quick briefing. 

The place is darker than it usually would be. A trademark, it seemed. The blinds are drawn shut and most of the light is coming through whatever sneaks in through the crack. 

“Hey, Barnes.” Your voice is muffled by a mask that looks suspiciously like it was made out of classroom craft supplies.

There’s a person in a loose chokehold in your hand with a gun pressed against his head. Once again it looks straight out of a cartoon, purple with round disks lining its barrel. 

“What’s all this now?” He gestures around monotonously. 

“A hostage situation. Didn’t you get the memo?”

“Got that part down, genius,” he bites back. “But why?”

“Fucker kept harassing me when I was walkin’ down the street.” 

The guy’s helpless gaze met Bucky. 

“Catcalling me, stalking me.” You tighten the grip you have on him. “Call me darlin’ one more time, you son of a bitch. I dare you.”

He wasn’t impressed with his pleading eyes. He kinda felt like he deserved it. 

“Why’d you do it here?” The bright colours were starting to give him a heading. “And where are the staff?”

“It’s symbolic, Bucky,” you emphasise, “He deserves to be among other rat bastards.”

Of course.

“The staff?” he asks again. 

“Gave them thirty bucks and told them to leave. I’m not a monster.”

“Right.” He doesn’t bother refuting you. “Why’d you call me here?”

“Dunno.” You shrug. “Thought it’d be fun. You having fun yet?”

You shake the guy you’re holding. He gives a small whimper. 

Bucky doesn’t want to stop you. He had chugged enough Respect Juice in his lifetime to know that this guy probably deserved a threat or two.

Hell, he’d even help but you were more than capable of handling this on your own.

“Listen,” he sighed. “As much as I’m sure he deserves it, this is technically illegal and I’m required to stop you.”

“Sorry sarge, I thought you weren’t interested in playing this stupid game with me,” you mock, voice dropping to imitate him.

“I’m not.” It wasn’t entirely true. One Saturday with Jar Jar Binks had convinced him otherwise.

“Okay, so before you leave, do me a favour and call Hawkeye. I hear he looks mighty fine when he’s annoyed.”

His face involuntarily scrunched up. You were going to replace him with Clint? Clint?

He probably took it more as an insult than he should have.

“I’m not doing that.” Bless his foul mouthed friend, but he was a little shit who was too sarcastic for his own good. At least twice a week he’d say something stupid to Bucky and then take out his hearing aids when he tried to argue back. 

“You’re leavin’ me with no options here,” you groaned, using your thumb to flip a switch. The gun looks like it powered up, lights along the side turning red.

If he let you have this, it’d be a bad look for the Avengers.

New York man dies in Chuck E. Cheese lone hostage situation, unable to be saved by same superhero who tried to fight Thanos with a machine gun.

“Tell ya what,” he says instead, “If you kill him, there won’t even be a slight chance that you’ll see me again.”

Your grip on the gun falters.

“If I let him go...”

“I might consider coming back next week.” He’s trying to spin it, make it look like he’s the one with the upper hand here. “But you gotta let him go.”

You search his face for any signs of dishonesty.

“Let him go or you’ll never see me again.” It sounds too much like Clint’s arguments with his dog who brought a live squirrel into the house. 

“Fine,” you relent, a glint in your eye. “but say goodbye to this fuckface.”

Before Bucky can open his mouth to shout in protest, you pull the trigger. The man clenches his eyes shut, face red.

He expects blood to be splatter across his face.

Nothing happens.

A barrage of bubbles floats into the room.

“I meant it literally,” you say, pushing him off you. “Say goodbye. He’s leaving.”

The man stumbles to the ground and Bucky doesn’t make any attempt to catch him. He scrambles to his knees, picking himself up and scurrying out the door to a hoard of reporters.

The door shuts behind him with the chime of a bell.

“You’re annoying,” Bucky states, giving a small sigh.

“I’m well aware of that.” You pull off the mask, wiping the sweat off your brow.

“Where is the agent assigned to your case?” 

“Dunno. Last I saw he was crying on the driveway of my lair. I just figured he’d pick himself up later so I left him there.”

Bucky’s nose twitches. 

“You weren’t actually going to kill him, were you.” He shrugs with his shoulder towards the door. It wasn’t a question, more a statement. He knew you wouldn’t. 

“I could have.”

“But you weren’t going to,” he repeats. 

“No,” you admit. “I wasn’t. But I’m glad to see you showed up.”

“You held someone hostage as leverage.”

“No, no. I held someone hostage and then asked to see you. They were completely unrelated.”

“You’re evil.”

“You jumped to conclusions,” you point out. “Would you like a trampoline next time? Maybe a pogo stick, you clown?”

He has a very real gun in his holster. His very real metal death arm aches to use it. 

“No one else agreed to come,” he deflects. 

“We both know that’s a lie. You were going to come back anyway.” You stuff the bubble gun back into the bag. “I’m deliciously irresistible.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Then beg.” You give him a smirk and he rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, you win this round, sarge.”

He doesn’t say anything. He watches you remove your heist gear, revealing normal civilian clothes underneath.

You walk casually to the kitchen, intending to leave through the back door.

“But I can’t say I lost either.” You send him a wink before swiftly pushing open the door and leaving him behind.

He only watches you leave.

It doesn’t hit him until a few seconds later that he let a criminal out of his hands when there were several policemen and journalists outside.

He entertains the idea of chasing you down and handing you over. 

It takes him only a few seconds to decide that if they wanted you, they’d have to try themselves.

Next part 

[onouwu]

Witch Heart Hunter

From far away, the low din of celebration from the residential area made its way through the large windows of a bare loft, a typically empty unsold apartment. Sounds of people about to welcome the new year melded with the ringing of car alarms and the manufactured happiness of radio pop. A bright shaft of moonlight shone through the overhead skylight, illuminating the brick interior and pristine hardwood floor where a pale brunette trespasser lies in a revealing blue dress with her wide brim hat covering her face, waiting. Time seemed to stop as Daisy laid on her back absorbing the sounds and vibrations of the city around her. Her heart thrummed in anticipation. Goosebumps raised on her bare skin at the thought of what was to come.

“I’m ho~oome!” Crystal announced, always heard before she was seen. Short blue-silver haired with a devilish smile like a fallen angel. Her frame was lithe and frail compared to Daisy’s taller stature and defined curves.  She materialized through a portal that appeared by their front door, revealing a beast of endless glowing blue tendrils on the other side before fading away into shadow. Looking up from her position on the floor, Daisy lifted the brim of her hat and gave her hungry look.

“Do you hear that?” Daisy sat up and cocked her head towards the city lights.

“Yes!” Crystal said “It’s like they’re begging to be taken,”

“Mmmh, I hope some do, the willing are fun to play with” Daisy let out “It’s been so long since we last feasted. We’d best be careful not to get overwhelmed”

Crystal laughed it off “You know, the hungrier I get, the stronger I am. Just guard the outside while I take my half and leave you the others, okay?”

Daisy just smirked as she got up “I’ll be counting”

The new year party goers were surrounded on three sides by towering evergreens, and to the north of their clearing was a partially frozen lake. A group of eight sat by the lakeshore, drinking beers, and listening to the radio for the countdown. A loner stood away from them on the ice, looking up at the moon and hugging himself for warmth. On a wooden log next to a crackling campfire, a couple sat kissing passionately. Scarves, gloves, and a white brassiere hung from the branches next to them like exotic flowers in the moonlight.

Daisy perched on a branch in the treetops, Crystal sat next to her, her excitement radiating off her as she peered into the crowd. And so, the pair sat and watched, waiting for midnight to strike when the group would converge. It was then that the witches would feed. “Get ready to say hello to the new year, folks! It’s currently 11:59!” The group hollered in response to the jovial radio host. “If you’re listening right now, I wish you good health, happiness, and safe travels home. We’ll leave it to the city timepiece to count us down. We’re signing off for the holidays! As always, stay safe. Stay inside.” To this, several of the group scoffed.

Crystal elbowed Daisy in the rib, interrupting her observation. She looked beside her to see Crystal, thighs straddling the branch they were on and swinging her legs without a care in the world.

“Hey Daisy, make it snow will ‘ya?”

With a bit of a laugh Daisy’s eyes fell shut and her right hand waved in the air with a bright blue glow. High above the treetops, a cloud swirled and grew. Soon, snowflakes fell to the ground above the opening.

“Hey check it out!” The partygoers oohed and aahed, momentarily distracted by the sudden snowfall. No one seemed to notice that it was only in their clearing that snow fell. As if on cue, their heads shot to the side as the first of many fireworks exploded in the distance. “Ten! Nine! Eight—” The group gathered around the campfire, bottles in hand. “Seven! Six!” The lovers finally separated. “Five! Four!” The loner slowly made his way to the group, avoiding the couple. “Three!” The snow fell harder. “Two!” The fireworks came faster. “One!” Crystal and Daisy stood. “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

A sound like an explosion rang in their ears. The snowfall had evolved into a storm. A wall of ice sprung up from the ground, blocking the city skyline with what looked like a jagged translucent glacier encircling them. They began to realize the trap they had fallen into much too late.

These walls were soon dotted with portals to another realm where slippery glowing tendrils shot out and grabbed their helpless victims.

“All this energy is going to feed us for days!” Crystal cried out.

Daisy couldn’t think. All she could hear was the sound of the humans wailing and the ecstasy of feeding. She was drawn into the uproar by its momentum. It was hard for her to resist immediately draining the life from these trapped humans, but she walked along the ice wall to scout the area for any alerted human forces. Sure enough, it didn’t take long before she saw a bespectacled woman with dark skin in camos and a black tank top. Her long curly hair a crimson red and her eyes display an unsettling calm when looking at the witch’s trap.

Daisy heeded caution, but she could see from the well-developed physique of this woman that there was a lot of life in her that shouldn’t go to waste. She quickly raised her hand and formed a snowy tornado around her that instantly hardened into a cone of solid frosty ice.

“Ohh what a catch” Daisy let out as she slid down the ice tower and began walking toward the woman who stood eerily still despite her situation. Daisy took the cue however and didn’t get too close before she froze the woman’s feet to the ground.

“You’re full of delicious energy. What’s your name, sweetie?” Daisy let out joyfully as she felt the intense energy radiating off this woman – more than any human she has ever seen.

“Name’s Hilda, dead witch… I want you to scream it loud before I crush your throat” The woman let out. In an incredible display of strength, Hilda slammed her fists against the wall of ice and smashed a hole into it within a second.

Daisy’s heart jumped from seeing such a superhuman display of power, reminiscent of the witch hunters of old. She decided to quickly end it, and summoned sharp spears of ice beneath the woman to skewer her. However, as the ice shot up like a rocket, the woman freed her feet and moved from over the forming pillar, using it as leverage to leap toward Daisy.

Terror filled Daisy’s hungry eyes as Hilda landed within a few feet of her. Daisy could only form a flat wall before her and flee while giving herself a moment to figure out how to handle this mysteriously strong person. Daisy quickly summoned a blizzard behind her as she ran to gain more distance, but all she could hear was the cracking of the ice as soon as it formed. Every step she took those behind her felt closer. Her poor lungs started to wheeze while her heart slammed in her throat, filling her ears with its frantic thrumming.

She turned around to summon another barrier but was met with a heart-stopping gaze inches from her face and a deep agonizing pain in the pit of her stomach. the woman’s fist had just buried itself into her core and robbed her of what little breath she had.

Daisy dropped to her knees, clutching at her chest with one hand, croaking hoarsely as she gasped for air and heaved. This was a blow like she had never felt before. As she lay on the forest floor weak and breathless, she felt utterly helpless. She could only wonder what the woman had in store for her after that.

In her winded state, Daisy managed to roll onto her burning and aching stomach. She desperately clawed at the frozen earth.

“You’re pathetic.” A boot harshly turned her over onto her back. Daisy could only see the sadism shining through this woman’s cold and heartless gaze before she stomped on the pale bare flesh of Daisy’s midsection.

Daisy tried to curl into the fetal position but Hilda shoved her boot in harder, crushing her organs under the hard thick rubber of her boot.

Hilda knelt down and Sat on Daisy’s hips, the relief of that shoe leaving her body wouldn’t hast long before she felt a calloused hand wrapping around her throat and squeezing mercilessly

“Haahkk- aahk—" Daisy let out in a desperate plea for air, grabbing and forming icy shackles around Hilda’s arm. A bright blue glow came from her hands and the ice pushed upward to lift the hand. Despite the intense cold, the determined soldier doubled down her grip. The ice cracking, shards falling on Daisy’s body as her efforts proved futile.

“I hope you all make it this easy. Just give up so I can cut your heart out and add it to my trophy wall” Hearing that makes Daisy’s heart slam against her ribs as if trying to escape its fate, but while Hilda’s hand cuts off the vital route of blood to her brain, its efforts only hastened the end of her precious oxygen supply. Her vision blurred as drool overflowed from her lips. The thick blue veins in her neck standing on end, her purple face and throat bulging, looking as if her head would pop like a grape while she struggled to free herself.

“You know what… I can’t wait for that.” Hilda pulled out a knife, Daisy squirmed beneath the woman with all her might at the sight of the glossy silver blade, but to no avail. The last-ditch effort only brought a smile to Hilda’s face in its futility as her cold steel pressed against Daisy’s breathlessly squirming chest.

Daisy’s gaze rested upon that vengeful piercing stare as her vision faded, feeling the knife bite her skin. Despite her efforts to cling to consciousness and her frantic pleas to her eldritch patron, her body quickly calmed and succumbed to its fate. She could only lie there breathlessly while the cold blade slowly descended into her chest and inched closer to her pounding heart.

“Daaaaaayyyseeee, it’s dinner time” Crystal called out.

Crystal waited for a few seconds before getting impatient. She decided to see for herself what was going on and leapt up to a tentacle which she sat on as it towered above the icy wall “Ugh, don’t tell me you’re not sharing the-“ Crystal watched in complete shock as she saw Someone sitting on Daisy’s unconscious body, continuing to strangle her while slipping a knife beneath her ribs. That shock turned to a hot rage quickly before she lifted her staff and summoned a portal behind the woman

THWACK- massive and slick tendril sent the woman flying a few feet away from Daisy.

The woman let out a “GAH” as she bounced off the ground once and rolled to a stop on her stomach. Ignoring this, she raised her head and looked back to where she stood a moment before. A translucent blue tentacle undulated, its base emerging from a portal near Daisy’s supine body and its tip stroking her neck, another wrapped around the blade which twitched to the beat of the frantic organ writhing against its tip.

“Tsk, tsk. Oh, Daisy. I thought I taught you to last longer than that? Disappointing.” Crystal let out while Hilda looked up at her.

“Hello there! Who might you be, and how did you manage to do that?” Crystal pointed at Daisy.

“You’ll see” Hilda replied

“My friend Daisy back there is a bit of a lightweight, I admit. But still, I’ve never met a non-magical person who could do such a thing.” Crystal planted her staff on the ground and put her crossed arms on top of it. She perched her chin atop a forearm as she leaned against her staff, looking at Hilda with a pixieish smile. “Comeon… What’s your deal? I’d love to know before I… well, you know.”

Hilda, now on her feet, shot a death glare at Crystal. “Oh, you’ll find out what my deal is. Firsthand.”

“Dangerous and snappy! I love it.” Crystal said

Hilda took off and charged the witch where she stood. Crystal ripped her staff from the ground and held it out to her side as Hilda closed the distance between them. The redhead’s fist cut through the air like a bullet, inches away from Crystal’s neck but stopped short as she fell to the ground. She looked back to see a large tendril gripping her leg and pulling her back to the portal from where it came.

“Keep going, show me what you got, sweetie!” Crystal said while more slithered out from the portal and grabbed the woman’s body, slick and wet as they coiled around her limbs and slid down to her wrists and ankles

“Ngh!” A grunt of effort escaped as she struggled against them until she calmed down and let the witch close in. Crystal stood up against the bound woman.

“Looks like you were about to take my friends heart. If you want a witch’s heart so much, here…” Crystal grabbed Hilda’s hand gently and pressed it to her own chest. Her excited heart pounding into Hilda’s palm.

“You have mine already.” Crystal smiled

Hilda ripped her hand from Crystal’s body as disgust filled her eyes. Crystal’s own expression filled with disappointment

“Come on, don’t be so cruel… to yourself! It’s your last moment, don’t you think you should let yourself enjoy it?” Crystal said as she wrapped her arms around Hilda in a tight hug, closing her eyes to feel the nonverbal exchange between their pounding hearts, Crystal’s excitement and Hilda’s rage fueling eachother in every exasperated beat. The life in this woman made her drool, a powerful energy she had never felt before, all hers for the taking. A treat that must be savored. Hilda’s muscular body squirmed against her and moves her delicate and flimsy body around like nothing, held back only by the power of her spell.

After about a minute the captive woman stopped resisting, to Crystal’s disappointment.

“Mmmm, time to-“ Crystal opened her eyes to see Hilda staring down at her with a wicked smile. As she reached for her staff she felt the woman’s hand holding it, the tendril that was binding her wrist ending in a fleshy pulp.

“hey, give me that” Crystal let out as she backed off from arm’s length. The tendrils left Hilda’s body to Crystal’s horror, showing just how faithful her demonic deity was to her as it obeyed its new vessel.

Crystal’s heart sank, her legs began to shake as she weighed her options and held her composure.

“You think I need that? We speak telepathically, and you can’t understand the language of ancient Gods”

“Your guard dog speaks just fine… Nothing’s going to be quite as satisfying as what I am about to do to you now” Hilda let out as she raised the staff above her head. Crystal’s composure dropped and she fell back reflexively, crawling up to run, only to be tripped by a familiar slimy appendage. She frantically pulled at it to no avail

“What are you doing, stop!” she said to the demonic being, though she was met with silence.

Hilda approached with a grin from ear to ear. Crystal couldn’t stop herself from struggling in vain, putting on a pathetic show for her assailant. As Hilda closed in, Crystal puts her hand in front of her face. Hilda grabbed her wrist roughly and pulled her up. The staff glowed in Hilda’s hand and Crystal felt a warmth on her chest.

“Come on, you wanted to have some fun didn’t you?” Hilda let out, stabbing the staff in the ground beside her and grabbing the top of Crystal’s blouse, ripping it open and baring her naked body. Confused, Crystal looked down, her eyes widened at the sight -- her chest covered in the runes of a small portal into her body. The space inside the circle disappeared and Hilda’s hand reached in.

“Ahhh! Wait, wait!” Crystal cried out as she felt an intense pressure in her chest, the thrumming in her ears and body ceased.

Hilda grinned “You wanted to give me this? What a pathetic thing, I don’t even want it… now go ahead, do something, your arms are free.” Hilda let out harshly, sending a new explosion of agony through Crystal’s chest, radiating outward into her weary body while the woman’s fingers sank into the meat of her helplessly squirming life. As her fate set in, she stopped short of giving Hilda the satisfaction of token resistance for as long as she can.

“What a great stress relief, crushing a wretched witch’s heart” Hilda says with a twisted sense of amusement. Crystal remained silent, looking up and spitting in Hilda’s face.

“Come on, bitch, do something fun” Intense waves of unbearable pressure consumed Crystal as Hilda harshly pumped her heart.

“AHK!! Please!” Crystal let out, caving easily as she flailed and tried digging her fingernails into the intruding arm with all her might -- a smile cracking the frustrated frown on Hilda’s face. Crystal’s vision grew blurry, her head feeling light, but the cruel woman’s torment was fueled by her helpless struggling.

“I’d love to keep going but I need to finish what I started with your fri-“

Hilda’s words ended abruptly as a ball of solid ice slammed into the side of her head. When Hilda lets go and fell over unconscious, Crystal saw Daisy behind her, holding her own chest and panting heavily while forming an icy prison Hilda’s body

“Crystal… we need to be more careful” Daisy let out, sitting beside her partner, pulling her to her lap, watching over her while she took shallow labored breaths

Crystal couldn’t speak to tell Daisy how grateful she was to see her. As the portal on her chest closed, every heartbeat sent shockwaves through her body.

“Wh…what about her” Crystal mustered

“We’re going to study her… painfully. And figure out what this new power is.”

[calpalirwin]

Tranquil Waters

Summary: Bucky finds peace at the aquarium.

A/N: A gift for @jessalyn-jpeg, that was also beta read by her.

Word Count: 1.9k

And away, and away we go!

__

Even with a plain, battered ball cap covering up hair that brushed along the tops of his shoulders, as if he was hoping it would somehow make him inconspicuous, you took notice of him. After all, how many men came alone to an aquarium? How many still could be transfixed by the shark exhibit for hours, sitting on a bench looking up at the tunnel, or leaned against the railing as he peered into the lagoon below? And how many of those men would return day after day, no matter how long he had watched the sharks the day before?

“You know we have a membership,” you told him on his eighth consecutive visit. “Probably cheaper at this point.”

He didn’t say a word, just tilted his head slightly to the side in confusion.

“I mean, if you’re here every day. Might as well. Save yourself a few bucks.”

“Oh,” he said, clearly startled that anyone had picked up on his habit. “Uh…”

“It’s a hundred for the year. Unlimited visits. Come as little as five times a year, and it pays for itself. Come more often than that, and it’s a steal.”

“Is there a payment plan option? I’m uh… it’s weird to explain. I have the money. It’s just a…”

“Budget thing?” you guessed. “Totally get it. Yeah, we have payment options. I can have today’s ticket count towards the pass if you like. Then the bill is monthly, but you can pay it off sooner if you like.”

“Uh, yeah, that’d be great,” he said, giving you a small smile, and laying a twenty dollar bill down.

You pulled open the little drawer that held the passes, selecting one that specifically had sharks on it for him, before scanning it into working order. “Here you are,” you said, handing it over along with his receipt.

“Thanks,” he nodded, turning the card over his hand, the smile still rooted in place. “Sharks, cool. Thanks again…” his eyes flickered down to read your name tag, “Y/N.”

“Enjoy your visit.”

It came as no surprise to you that, after he nodded politely at you again, he headed straight to the shark exhibit. It also came as no surprise to you that he was still there when you made your rounds to clear the aquarium of visitors for the night.

“Sir, we’re closing in ten minutes. So if you wouldn’t mind making your way towards the exit.”

“Oh, is it that time already?” he asked, rising slowly from the bench. You took notice as he stretched out his right arm, but didn’t feel the need to do so with his left.

“Unfortunate, I know. See you tomorrow, sir.”

“Bucky,” he said.

“I’m sorry?”

“My name. It’s Bucky.”

“See you tomorrow, Bucky.”

“See ya tomorrow, Y/N.”

~~~

Four more days of visits, each started with Bucky handing you a twenty dollar bill to put towards his pass, and ending with the two of you bidding each other farewell until the morning.

On the fifth day, out of habit, he walked up to your window, the twenty dollar bill already in hand. “Oh, you’re all paid off, Bucky.”

“Oh… Right… Sorry, force of habit.” His cheeks flushed a soft color of pink. “See you later I guess.”

“Send the sharks my love.”

“Will do.”

As you watched him walk off, you caught sight of the stack of flyers beside you. “Wait!” you called out to him, grabbing one of the flyers.

“Hmm?” he asked, coming back to your window.

“Here,” you said, sliding him the flyer. “We’re hosting a lecture on shark migrating habits.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Is it soon? I haven’t seen anything put up about it.”

“No, it’s happening next month. We just got the flyers this morning. Figured you’d want to know though.”

“Well, thanks for the heads up.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Bucky turned to go visit the sharks, but at the last second he turned back around, a shy look on his face. “You wouldn’t happen to be going to this would you?”

“I am, yeah. I got lucky in that they scheduled it after aquarium hours.”

“Cool… Would you maybe want to go together?”

“As a date?” you asked suggestively.

“Or as two people who share an appreciation for sharks? Whichever reason gets you to say yes.”

You gave a small laugh. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

~~~

Even though you’d seen Bucky daily for nearly two months, you still felt shy flutters in your stomach as you raced to change out of your work polo and khakis, and into something that felt more “first date” appropriate.

When you got back to the aquarium, you spotted Bucky outside waiting, sporting a long-sleeved red henley shirt, and surprisingly no baseball cap. “Hey, Bucky,” you greeted, walking up to him.

“Hey,” he said softly, a hand digging into the pocket of his jeans. “I was going to bring you flowers, but I thought that’d be awkward for you to carry around all night. So, I hope this is an okay replacement.” He took his hand out of his pocket, unfurling his hand to reveal a shark pin resting in his palm, no doubt something he picked out in the gift shop.

“It’s perfect,” you laughed, stretching up on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek, feeling the warmth that flooded his face. “Thank you.”

“Course,” he mumbled, trying to undo the pin with only his right hand. But undoing the pin without using his left hand proved to be difficult.

“Um, it might be easier without the gloves?” you suggested. “Or maybe if you used both hands?”

“Oh, to hell with it,” Bucky grumbled, taking the fingers of his left glove into his mouth, tugging it off to reveal a metal hand. Swiftly, he also took off his right glove, and got the pin undone.

“Wh-what happened?” you questioned as he attached the pin to your blouse, paying special care not to knick you with it.

“War accident,” he answered shortly, quickly putting his gloves back on.

“I’m sorry,” was all you could think to say.

“It was years ago,” he offered as a way of explanation, before jerking his chin in the direction of the aquarium doors. “Shall we?”

You linked your arm through his right arm when he offered it to you, walking into the aquarium and following the small crowd to the theater where the lecture was being held.

Quietly, you and Bucky sat side by side, his hand resting on your thigh as you both listened to the lecture. It was easy to tell when the lecturer said something that Bucky found particularly interesting because his fingers would squeeze into your leg. And anytime you stole a glance, his eyes were shining brightly, a soft smile on his lips. And anytime he caught you staring at him, he’d give you a small wink.

“The aquarium is so different after hours,” Bucky commented, making conversation as you walked out, hand-in-hand after the lecture. “More peaceful somehow.”

“Is that why you like the shark exhibit? It’s usually our quietest area. Certainly less crowded.”

“Nah, I like sharks because they’re misunderstood. Everyone thinks they’re killers. But, they’re just doing what they need to do to survive.”

“Something you can relate to?”

“More than I’d like to, that’s for sure.”

You looked around at all the guests flocking for the exits, an idea forming in your head. “You wanna see something really cool?”

“What’s this really cool thing?” he asked as he let you pull him away from the crowd of people and deeper into the aquarium. His excitement however died down significantly when you pulled him into the security office. “This was the really cool thing?” he asked skeptically.

“Shh,” you said, fixing your focus on the cameras, watching the aquarium empty. “Just wait.”

With a sigh, Bucky watched the monitors with you.

“Annnnd, tada!” you announced as there was a loud sound of the lights shutting off in the building with the exclusion of the security room.

“We’re alone in the aquarium?” he questioned with the same note of skepticism as earlier.

You grinned up at him, nodding. “We’re alone in the aquarium.”

“Can’t we get in trouble for trespassing?”

You pulled your work badge out of your purse, along with a set of keys. “Nope!”

Bucky gave a soft chuckle. “You’re a little troublemaker, aren’t you?”

“You wanna go see the sharks or not?”

“Lead the way.”

~~~

“So,” you started, your voice quiet as you both leaned against the railing, watching the sharks swim in the lagoon below. “Is you liking sharks because you can relate to being misunderstood related to your hand at all?”

“A little. And it’s not my hand. It’s my entire arm.”

“Your entire arm?!” you screeched, turning sideways to look at him fully.

He sighed, turning towards you. He pushed the sleeve of his shirt up to his elbow, and pulled at the collar of his shirt to show you how the metal went all the way from fingertips to shoulder. “Yup.”

“Bucky,” you said to yourself. “As in?”

“As in the former Winter Soldier. Yup. Or as in James Buchanan Barnes, but people nowadays tend to not remember that part.”

“Holy shit… Wait. So you’re a fuckin’ Avenger, and you tell me that you spend your free time coming to watch sharks all day?”

“Well, sharks were originally the reason. Now, they’re just an additional perk.”

“I’m not following…”

“Well, I like sharks. Always have even before I could relate to them. But then I got a crush on one of the workers. And as much as I like to think I’m still here for the sharks, I’m also here for her.”

“Oh, you mean me?!”

“I mean I did ask you out on a date.”

“So you admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“That this is a date.”

“What else would you call it?”

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe two people who share an appreciation for sharks?” you teased.

Bucky laughed. “Alright. In my defense, I said that to make you not feel bad if you told me no.”

“What made you think I was gonna say no?”

“I’m me. The 100 year old with an extremely complicated past.”

“Mmm, then maybe I should let you in on a secret.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that Miss Troublemaker?”

“I have a soft spot for the misunderstood.”

His tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Saying things like that are gonna make me want to kiss you.”

“Saying things like what? Things that suggest I’m just as interested in you as you are in me?”

“Yes.”

“And what if that’s what I wanted? For you to kiss me?”

“Then I’d have to do this.” He stepped forward, his hands gently cradling your face as his head ducked down. You stretched upwards on the tips of your toes, meeting his lips halfway. Underlying the softness of the kiss was a strength you wanted more of. Somehow sensing that want, Bucky deepened the kiss, one hand moving to cup the back of your neck, the other dropping down to rest on the small of your back, pulling you in closer to him.

“That was one hell of a first date kiss,” you gasped when you broke apart, each of you breathless.

“You’re one hell of a girl,” he said, nudging your nose with his and drawing you back in for another kiss.

__

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[send-allmyloving]

Hey there! I looove your blog and I was hoping if you can write a jealous (S/o) with Chuuya back when he was a sheep member? How Yuan keeps wrapping her arms around his every time she sees them two together alone?

Hi hiiii this is cute! Thank you for the ask! And thank you so much for the support 💕

Chuuya with s/o who is jealous of Yuan

You and Chuuya had met up in the arcade once again, like every other Friday night. Although you were a mafia member along with Dazai, you had made acquaintance with Chuuya during one of your missions, and despite his instant disapproval of your friend, he was quite literally entranced by your presence the first time he saw you; he just had to know more about you.

And so here you were, both of you being the best of friends, playing your usual round of games together, in which you would... usually win, much to Chuuya’s displeasure.

“Come ON! That’s cheating!!” Chuuya yelled, frustratedly slamming his fists onto the controls while you cackled delightedly at his defeat.

“Sorry Chuu~ the world works in wondrous ways, and unfortunately, it’s on my side this time!” You feigned a disappointed sigh before smirking triumphantly in his face.

He groaned, face-planting onto the controls. You snickered and got up from your seat, springing onto his back while continuing to tease him in a sing-song voice.

“Oh shut up (Name)! I swear I was gonna win that won, I just got.. distracted!” Chuuya grumbled, slightly shoving you off his back.

“Sure you were, whatever helps you sleep at night Chuuya,” you grinned, poking his forehead.

“Ok that’s it--” the redhead started, before standing up to scoop you up in his arms as you yelped.

“Oi! Nakahara! Put me down right this instant!” You demanded, slapping his chest. 

“No can do, bud. You brought this on yourself. Now prepare yourself for...” he started to lean in, pursing his lips as he “threatened” to kiss you.

“Ack!! Get away!” You screeched as you batted at his face, Chuuya victoriously laughing at your disgust.

“You’re a dick” you said, glaring at him before proceeding to fake a gag in feigned disgust at his previous actions.

“You know it!” he jeered, still holding you up in his arms. “But ya know... I would have crushed you into the ground if you were Dazai. Consider yourself lucky.”

“Shut up.”

“Chuuya-senpai!” A foreign voice called out. You both froze, looking at each other with widened eyes. You struggled out of his grasp before you both turned and faced two other members of the Sheep, whom you had no idea about. But your annoyance grew when you turned your attention to the source of the obnoxious voice-- a young girl with loose pink hair, part of it pinned up to the side in a circle. Yuan. She was quite an annoyance for you and Chuuya, always coming and linking an arm around his when she saw you alone together, sending a menacing glance your way. As much as Chuuya and you were friends, and as much as you knew it would be just another inconvenience to develop that relationship into something more, and especially with a member of the Sheep, of all other organizations, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit....

Jealous. 

Another boy, around Chuuya’s age and slightly taller, with silver-blue hair followed behind. 

“Yuan? What are you and Shirase doing here?” Chuuya asked, clearly looking annoyed that you two had been interrupted.

“You’ve been disappearing pretty frequently, we wanted to know if you were up to anything suspicious,” the boy, Shirase, said matter-of-factly. His eyes move to you. “Who’re they? A mafioso?”

Chuuya looked back at you, a glow of sympathy in his blue eyes. “They're just a friend,” tearing his eyes off of you only to look back at the Sheep members standing before him. “What’s it to you if I’m off with someone else, having fun?” he snapped, clear irritation present in his rough voice.

“But Chuuya-senpai~ We just wanna make sure you’re not messing around with anybody who might hurt you!” Yuan whined, shoving herself in between you and the redhead to cling onto his arm.

That again. God, she was so annoying.

Chuuya looked down at her, exasperated “How are they gonna hurt me? Did you forget about my power or something?”

“I don’t mean that silly... I meant... traitors, you know? People who backstab you?” Yuan said slyly, giving you a once-over, repulsion evident in her eyes. Chuuya raised his eyes to you, eyes widening as he saw your troubled expression.

That girl... what a bitch.

You cleared your throat, trying to seem unbothered by her subtle advances as you looked away, hands tightened into fists inside your coat pocket.

“(Name)-san? (Name)-san~ Where are you?” another voice called out, this one more playful and definitely familiar.

“Dazai-san?” You rose your eyes in surprise at his presence as you saw him scan around the arcade. His eyes found yours, and a smile danced upon his face as he strode towards you.

“Oh? Are we having a little standoff over here? Chuuya~ Are you causing trouble for our dear (Name)-san?” 

“Shut up, shitty Dazai. I didn’t expect these guys to come here,” Chuuya snapped, subtly shrugging Yuan off his arm.

“It’s fine, Dazai. Let’s go,” you said sharply, yanking the sleeve of Dazai’s shirt as you marched out of the arcade.

“Oh-- (Name)-san? Wha--” Dazai didn’t get to finish his sentence before getting pulled away from the group.

And Chuuya... was seething with rage.

Why the hell did he have to have his moment ruined by a bunch of buffoons, and then see his best friend (and crush) walk out on him arm in arm with his enemy? Was the world seriously against him today?

Chuuya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance. Now he had to worry about how the hell he was going to apologize to you.

“What is your problem you guys? Can’t I have a little time to myself to be with my friend? I already have an entire mission for us to take care of, for fuck’s sake!” Chuuya snarled, glowering at the both of them.

“But Chuuya--” Yuan started, a perplexed expression written onto her face as she looked on at him.

“Just shut up, both of you!” Chuuya yelled, storming out of the arcade.

~

You and Dazai were sitting on the terrace of the Mafia headquarters. You had thrown your coat into your room out of anger, but Dazai had offered you to come up to the terrace with him to accompany his smoke break, and you had accepted in an attempt to get your mind off of today, and... you had left your coat. So here you were, slightly shivering from the chilly Yokohama air as you sat alongside Dazai, watching him blow puffs of cigarette smoke out of his mouth.

“Cold?” Dazai asked, curious brown eyes finding yours as he casually threw his coat around your shoulders before leaning back against the wall once more.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, pulling the coat further around you as you stared absentmindedly at your toes.

“So what’s up?” Dazai asked, tapping out the ashes against the concrete, adjusting his position so he was looking at you.

“...You already know,” you sighed, turning to face him. “I just... that girl fucking bothers me. I don’t know what she has against me but... here we are, I guess.”

“Tell me about it,” Dazai sighed, lighting a new cigarette. “As much as I hate the chibi, it pisses me off seeing how much they use him to their advantage. So fucking greedy....” He leaned his head far back so it touched the wall behind him, looking up at the setting sky as it turned from orange to pink.

“It’s not just that, Dazai,” you gave him a look. He looked back at you, and the realization hit him. He smirked.

“So why don’t you just tell chibi-san that you’re jealous?”

“Shut the hell up,” you groaned, punching him in the arm. 

“Ow! Was I wrong though?!” he whined, rubbing his sore arm. You packed a good punch when you felt like it. “But seriously, when are you just gonna tell him how you feel? It’s really obvious how much you like him, you know.” 

You exhaled, bringing a hand to your head to massage your temples. “I seriously don’t know anymore. But you’re right. I should just... cut to the chase and tell him straight up.”

Dazai smiled. He ruffled your hair. “That’s what I like to hear! So when are you gonna tell him?”

You shrugged. “At our next visit?”

He scoffed. “Come on (Name)-san. Do you really think he’s gonna think you both are gonna meet up as usual after what went down today?”

You bit your lip. “I mean... you’re right but... ugh, I don’t know!” you groaned, head thudding back against the wall. “How am I gonna ask him to just... meet me tomorrow?”

Dazai chuckled. “Hey, you’re friends with me. I’ve got you covered,” he said, grinning as he gestured to his phone. “I’ll text him where to meet you, and you just go there. Got it?”

You let out a heavy sigh, resting your head on your knees. “Fine. Whatever you say, Dazai.”

~

Chuuya was relieved, yet panting as he walked up to the steps of the Port Mafia headquarters. He had to resolve things with you as soon as he could, and if that meant literally putting his life on the line by possibly trespassing into a criminal organization's lair? Then so be it. He’d do anything for you. He was... dare he say it, sort of in love with you, if he was being honest. But anyway, he knew it wasn’t like you were going to like him back. You had Dazai. That should be enough for you, right?

But even so, he didn’t want to lose you no matter what. You were the only true friend that he ever had, and he didn’t want to lose the only person he ever actually cared about. 

So he was just about to crash down the locked entrance before he saw a familiar figure wandering past the front of the headquarters.

It was you.

The next moments were all a blur. One moment he was at the entrance, and the next he was holding you in his arms oh so tightly. 

And you were in so much shock you could barely move.

“(Name),” he whispered, burying his nose into your hair and inhaling your comforting scent.

“Chuu...?”

He swallowed, pulling back to look at you, his sapphire eyes on the brink of tears.

You stared back at him, your eyes softening. "I... I was going to meet you tomorrow--"

“I’m really sorry about today. I never thought of you as someone who would stab me in the back, I trust you so much and you mean so much to me and I--”

“--Chuuya--”

“--just don’t want to lose you, you’re literally the only person I ever actually cared for and I just... I just don’t know what--”

“--Chuuya--” 

He couldn’t bring himself to stop. The words plummeted out of his mouth like a waterfall. 

“--I’d do without you, please please don’t be mad at me I’m so fucking sorry and I know it’s shitty and you don’t have to forgive me but just please--”

“Chuuya!” You cupped his cheeks, pulling him out of his tangent and forcing him to look into your gorgeous eyes. “Listen to me! This isn’t your fault. I just... yeah, that girl was a bitch to me and all, but it’s not your fault, okay? And even with that... I was jealous. I just got mad at her and all and I stormed off, I should be the one to say sorry to you,” you said softly, stroking his cheek and taking off one of your hands to brush the strands of ginger hair that had fallen into his face.

Chuuya’s eyes widened. Was this...?

“I wouldn’t have dreamed of leaving you anyway. I...” you took a deep breath, “I’m in love with you, Chuuya. I’ve felt so strongly for you since the start. And you probably don’t feel the same but... I would never want to lose you over something so stupid and silly as this, okay? I’ll always be at your side,” you whispered to him, smiling warmly, a few teardrops clustering around your lashes.

Chuuya tightened his arms around your waist, pulling you closer than ever. He dipped his nose to yours, lips brushing against yours in a soft kiss. He pulled back only slightly, your breaths mingling together, the kiss still lingering on your lips. He tasted like candy.

“I love you too, (Name). So much...” he murmured, kissing your head as one hand wandered to intertwine his fingers with yours.

“Come with me,” you said, looking deep into his blue eyes. “I want to be with you more. And... I know those people you’re with aren’t making you happy, Chuu. I want you to be happy... and I want you to be safe. So...” you leaned up, pressing a chaste kiss against his nose. “Come with me.”

He smiled softly down at you, squeezing your hand in reassurance.

“I will.”

// I hope you enjoy this anon! Sorry that it’s soooo long lololol I had to think out this plot sdjfdjsksfd

[spookyspaghettisundae]

A Spark To Ignite the Dead Wood

Cold, angular, gray. One door in, same door out.

A sleek reflective window, in which Jericho Kane could stare into his own sad mug, complete with all the ugly scars. His vision blurred as his mind wandered to what the window might be hiding on the other side of the interrogation room. A little camera on a stand with a blinking red light to indicate it was recording? A person, or two, waiting for some cop to enter the room and grill him for answers?

A thin chain connected his handcuffed wrists to a small metal hook on the table in front of him. The chain’s links rattled and ribbed against the hook whenever he budged, which he had to do every now and then, his fidgeting owed to the hard chair that made his sore butt cheeks ache, and a backrest designed to offer neither comfort nor invitation to lean back and relax. Everything here was perfectly engineered to make a stay as unpleasant as humanly possible.

Even the air in here was cold. A tiny little grate in one high corner of the room, big enough to fit two fists inside, took care of ventilation. Though it probably relied on air conditioning, he had to wonder if it was not allowing the cold wintry air to leak into this dreadful little room.

Following the sound of a key turning in a lock, a chunky clank heralded the door to the room opening. Jericho craned his head and spied the face of the person entering. Unfortunately, he recognized him. That recognition coaxed a groan to growl right out of Jericho’s throat.

It had been years, yet Jericho knew that unkempt beard, those horn-rimmed glasses on a flat nose, the receding hairline that framed a short mane of curly hair turning silvery, and that familiar face—now marked with days of sleep deprivation and wrinkled in what had to be disdain.

Using a hand that already gripped a thick manila folder while he carried a cheap plastic cup of steaming coffee in the other, Detective Augustus Shaw averted his gaze and slammed the door shut behind himself. He approached the table, plopped down the items from his hands, causing some coffee droplets to splash onto the surface, and pulled out the chair with an annoying sound of metal grinding against synthetic floor tiles.

Jericho shot a glance at the cup of coffee but tried not to let his thirsty gaze linger there. Neither would the cheap bitter swill help at all against the unpleasantly fluffy feeling of cottonmouth that plagued him right now, nor did he want to give Shaw any conversation material to work with. The career criminal and con man wanted to keep things short and painless. On some level, he did not want to waste the detective’s time, either.

“Jericho Kane,” Shaw said after demonstratively clearing his throat. “Long time no see. How long has it been since we’ve had the fortune of having your company around here in Maine?”

He took a sip from his cup and his forehead furrowed with crinkles counting both too many years of time on the force as well as from cringing over the coffee’s terrible aftertaste getting stuck on his tongue. Shaw shook it off and set the cup back down.

“Rap sheet tells me you’ve been pretty busy all these years, and up and down the whole East Coast, no less,” Shaw added, gently tapping the folder with his left palm. He cleared his throat again, audibly attempting to fight against the bitter film clinging to the roof of his mouth. Then he asked, “Do you want to hop right in and spill the beans, or do I need to flirt it outta ya?”

Shaw smiled at him, though no sincerity reached the crow’s feet framing the corners of his eyes. The detective hated being here as much as Jericho did, even though he could have walked out of the interrogation room anytime.

“Are we burying the lead here? How’s about you just tell me what business you had in any of the places you were trespassing in all week, and we both get to leave sooner? I know both of—”

“I’m not saying anything without my lawyer,” Jericho interrupted him sharply. He swallowed and stared at the place where the chain and hook on the table met, between the coffee stain and the pointless pile of papers and photographs jammed into the overflowing folder.

He could practically hear Shaw’s frown when a stifled sigh made the detective’s nostrils flare, and the seconds of silence that followed only underlined that air of disappointment.

“Okay,” Shaw said, taking another sip from his coffee and the smacking his lips indicating instant regret. “Alright. Fast-trackin’ this, then we both get to leave sooner. You work for the group that runs drugs across the northern border?”

“When’s the lawyer getting here?”

“Sources tell me you’ve worked for two crime syndicates—at least. One in NYC and the other all the way down in Miami. Any others send you onto an errand in our neck of the woods?”

“Not saying anything without a lawyer, man.”

“You went from being a two-bit drifter and con artist, constantly getting evicted from really terrible apartments, to your parole officer in Rhode Island refusing to offer any statement and looking like he had seen a ghost after you got out of the slammer.”

Jericho just kept his mouth shut. He jutted his jaw out and his lips curled inward, turning into a hard-pressed, thin, white line.

“Listen, man, I know you’re not a terrible person. Probably still got debt to pay off to some heavy hitters, right?”

Nothing.

“Some people in my position would mistake this monstrous pile of paper for proof that you’re a monstrous person, but I know better. Most people in your position got your reasons, constantly wonder if they’re bad people themselves, and deep down somewhere, buried underneath all the rotten things you experienced and any crimes you committed, you’re just—just a human being.”

Jericho deeply disagreed and looked up at the detective, locking eyes with him. He silently mouthed “lawyer” at him. Shaw ignored that and continued.

“You’re always down on your luck ‘cause people like us don’t get to win the lottery. We get dealt a bad hand in life, and we roll with whatever we’ve got.”

Shaw cradled the plastic cup, balancing it on an edge as his fingers idly circled it in his hand.

“Well, today’s your lucky day for a change, Jericho. Work with me here. You tell me what I want to know, and I’ll make sure you’re out of here in no time.”

Lawyer, Jericho thought, hoping that telepathy might finally work for him, one of these days.

“See, you can disappear behind bars for a while for some petty bullshit, or you can cooperate with me, because I’m really not that interested in you,” Shaw said, taking another pained sip from the cup. “No offense.”

Lawyer?

The telepathy did not seem to be working, or Shaw was blowing it off. No way to tell. Maybe this was not the best opportunity to try it out, but it was not like Jericho had anything better to do right now.

“See, I know things got weird at some point,” Shaw said. The cup plopped down onto the table’s surface and he leaned over it, closer towards Jericho.

He was playing to make their exchange feel more intimate, the crook figured. But the detective’s tone had shifted, and a strange glint flashed across his eyes. Jericho could not help but feel intrigued.

Did Shaw know more than he was letting on?

“A cigar-smoking guy in a stretch limo invites you in after a botched 'milk run’ in a meat packing plant, says he can make all your problems go away,” Shaw said.

Jericho kept his eyes locked onto the detective’s. How in the hell did he know about that?

“He offered you new work and the money he was offering was too good to turn down, so of course you took it. Who in your position wouldn’t have? Lemme guess, he had big mean-looking fellas in white suits with big mean-looking guns, and Cigar Man’s speech was a monologue with you for an audience.”

Frighteningly on point. Shaw had arrested Jericho’s full attention. Not a single thought trailed off, not a single word formed inside his head. He still wanted a lawyer before he admitted to anything, but the eerie accuracy of Shaw’s description rendered Jericho’s attention rapt.

“But the guy in the packing plant made your mouth melt shut and you had some voodoo man in New Orleans get that fixed. And there was that crumpled bag from the golden arches that provided a happy meal and a poisoned apple every day. Or a serial killer priest who ritually crucified himself after mass and could turn into the Incredible fucking Hulk before you and some of Cigar Man’s boys put him down like a dog and several dozen rounds of point-fifty caliber ammo,” Shaw said.

Jericho’s heart skipped a beat. Though Shaw was only scratching at the surface of all the unreal things he had witnessed in his recent years working for the “club"—the detective somehow knew. Knew of what Jericho liked to call "the weird shit.”

Shaw shot a glance at the mirrored window and said in a hushed murmur, “There’s nobody over there, Kane. No camera, nothing. I know better than to let anybody else in on this. I know how weird and un-fucking-believable all of this is. Hell, I question my own sanity just saying any of this out loud, but I have seen some shit myself. And—listen—I’m here to hear you out. I just want to—I wanna know the truth.”

Jericho swallowed the big empty wad of nothing that suddenly lodged itself inside this throat, yet it refused to go down no matter how many times he repeated the useless motion. That ball of anxiety stayed stuck right there, a slimy void only adding to the rest of his discomfort. He leaned back in his chair despite how painful the metal bars bracing the backrest felt.

“Look, I know of the Carcosa Casino job you were part of, down in Atlantic City. What did they call the 'package’ you were supposed to take from those thugs? 'Lightweight ghosts?’ What in God’s name is that, anyway?”

Jericho shook his head, croaked out a clipped, “Dunno.”

“You didn’t ask questions. Can’t say I blame you,” Shaw said, shaking his head in unison. “Probably woulda done the same in your shoes.”

He broke eye contact and shoved the folder in between the two of them. Flipped it open. Papers rustled; glossy prints of pictures glided from the main pile onto the discard pile he started right next to it.

Jericho recognized the Heavenly Night bar from one of the big photos even though this image depicted it as charred black and burnt down—from that one time when he had set it on fire with a thought. From that one time when he had discovered what unnatural abilities he possessed.

Another picture portrayed Jericho in a black raincoat with a green surgical mask on his face and sunglasses concealing his eyes, toting a silenced pistol in one hand—but he easily identified the distinct shape of his own head despite the stubble left behind after shaving it.

His typical “job attire” whenever he worked for Cigar Man.

“You usually get self-deleting messages with simple, straightforward instructions and are left to figure out the rest. You’re pretty good at that, right?” Shaw asked.

More pictures. Incident reports. A timeline of all the weirdness that Jericho had lived through. Hints at the world hidden behind the world, a world of human monsters that could alter reality on a whim as soon as they figured out the cosmic cheat codes. Most people do their damnedest to rationalize the weird to the best of their ability, but at some point, it gets hard to deny it all. Shaw must have gotten there on his own.

“The four-digit numbers just kept piling up in your bank account and everything stayed untraceable. Shit, Jericho, one of the guys at Homeland Security admitted to me that they didn’t just fail to trace anything—they couldn’t. Every data trail just vanishes into thin fuckin’ air. Like the hand of God reached through every computer and wiped every record clean.”

Jericho had gotten a message from Cigar Man just last week, so his mind went there. The new job. He dispelled the thoughts, focusing on trying to get a read on the seasoned detective. What was his deal? Was he on the payroll of the other syndicate? The douchebags over in Europe?

“And I get it, man. You never ever stopped to question this, because it’s both too good to be true—and too scary to fuck with,” Shaw droned on.

His sympathy was grating on his Jericho’s nerves but clearly genuine. The crook sensed it. The detective felt that same spark he had felt himself, all those years ago.

That time when he still struggled to understand it all. When he felt ambition, wanting to know how the secret world worked. How things like magick functioned, and trying to understand what, if any, difference existed between ghosts and demons.

That spark always struck dry wood, igniting the debris that rested, dead and dormant at the back of one’s mind, bursting into flames and feeding roaring fires of burning curiosity.

Shaw finally fell silent and stopped shuffling through the papers and photos. He let his gaze wander back upwards, scanning Jericho’s face for a reaction until they locked eyes again. That glint in his eyes—it reflected the hungry fires, consuming any knowledge it could get.

“C'mon. I know you wanna talk to me. You wanna talk to somebody, anybody. I’m not your enemy, Jericho. I’m not like him. I’m not—”

Jericho’s heart began to race in that instance and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, knowing in advance what name Shaw was about to utter. A horrid premonition during which time almost slowed to a complete halt and his eyes went wide.

“No!” Jericho suddenly shouted. “Don’t say—”

Shaw’s brow furrowed but he continued anyway, oblivious to the trigger he was pulling, “I’m not The Way King.”

Jericho’s heart skipped a beat and his blood curdled. The harsh white light from the neon tube overhead in the interrogation room flickered in response to that name being spoken.

“Fuuuuuck,” Jericho hissed, elongating the vowel in agonized defeat.

“Something wrong with me saying that? The Way King?” Shaw asked, continuing to shoot his mouth off, oblivious to the smoking gun he unwittingly kept firing every time he flapped his gums.

“Shut the fuck up! Stop saying his fucking name!”

The lights flickered again. The background noise—that constant buzz of chatter and drawers and metal doors and shoes tapping against hard floors and someone shouting and some chuckling and people on the phones and—all the life in the police station, muffled through the steel door, it all went dead. All at once.

Jericho lurched forward, causing Shaw to shift back in his seat, startled. But the surprise written across the detective’s visage mirrored the dread that must have taken hold of Jericho’s own face. Jericho showed him his empty palms in surrender.

“I will tell you whatever the fuck you wanna know. But you gotta—you have to fucking unlock me, right now. We need to get out of here,” Jericho whispered at him, enunciating every syllable with sharp endings and harsh gravity punctuating every stop.

Shaw stared at him, slack jawed. Now it was the detective’s turn to swallow a big lump of nothing that had gotten lodged in his throat. He bit his lip for a second and his hand went for his pocket. Crammed his fist right in there and dug around to look for the key.

Then the detective started shaking, wracked with spasms like he was being seized by an epileptic attack. His mouth started to foam while he gurgled.

The chain ribbed and rattled as Jericho leaned back as far as he could, trying to gain as much distance as possible, until he felt the tug of cold metal keeping him locked in place, and he heard the crunch of the chain accompany his bondage bringing him to a helpless stop.

Shaw’s eyes rolled back so far into his head that they looked only white and bloodshot. Then a hideous grin shaped across his face, clearly not his own. Drool dribbled down from the curve of his lip, forming pearls on the way down Shaw’s beard until the saliva dripped down onto his lap.

“There you are,” the Way King spoke through Shaw’s mouth, stealing his voice but spewing it out in a different cadence and tone. “Told you, boy. I will always find you, no matter where you go.”

Blood rushed in Jericho’s ears, his heart pounded like one of those huge Japanese drums; just thundering away and drowning out everything, leaving him deaf to the rest of the world and mesmerized by the spiderweb of crimson in Shaw’s white eyes, knowing that the Way King now stared at him through the powerless borrowed vessel.

“Let’s have a little chat, shall we?”

The handcuffs sprung open without anybody manipulating them. Jericho froze. Did not dare budge.

There was no point in running.

He was going to have to hear this demonic dickhead out now.

His deals always sucked.

—Submitted by Wratts

[serendipityjxmn]

I Hate You, Park Jimin!

Chapter 22

Words Count: 3.7k

TW: Slight angst..?

Link to Chapter 21

Link to Chapter 23

The ride back to my apartment was silent. It was oddly deafening in the car. I looked over at Jimin. His expression didn’t seem to be mad but I was very unsure since he was too silent. I knew I should say something but I don’t know how to start.

I looked down and continued to stare at my own fingers.

Is he mad that I lied to him?

Of course he would. Anyone in the right mind would feel pissed when lied to.

I sighed.

We arrived at my apartment’s parking lot. Jimin shut his engine off but didn’t make a move to go out.

He stared blankly through the car window. “Why didn’t you tell me truthfully about it?” He asked calmly though there’s disappointment laced in it. “You don’t trust me?”

“No, it’s not that!” The last thing I wanted was him doubting my love and trust for him. “I just.. we weren’t close enough at the time and.. i don’t know.. the timing was just never right to talk about it and plus.. I don’t like talking about it..”

He sighed but didn’t say anything.

Should I ask him about the deal? He’s keeping something from me as well right..?

I sighed. Never mind. That can wait. Let’s not make it more tense than now.

He turned to look at me. I blushed when he stared at me deeply.

“W-why..?” I asked softly.

He gave me a small smile. “Come, let’s go. I’ll walk you to your apartment.”

I went out of the car.

“You’re not.. staying?”

He smiled his own smile that never failed to make me flutter, bemused at me. He had his hand held out to me. “You want me to?”

I held out mine to him and he clasped it firmly.

“I.. I’m not sure what I want..”

He chuckled. “We’ll see.”

We arrived at my apartment but I stopped in my track when I saw unfamiliar shoes outside.

“Someone’s inside?” Jimin asked.

I nodded. He instinctively went in front of me. I chuckled. “It’s a female shoes though...” Hm.. mom?

We both then went in and the lights were turned on. Doesn’t look like a culprit has entered though..

“Mom..?” I asked.

Jimin looked at me. “Mom?”

And then a familiar figure appeared from the kitchen.

“Mom!” I immediately ran and went to hug her.

“Hana-ya..” she said softly, hugging me back.

“Mom.. you’re here!” I said after she released me.

“Whoops. You caught me here. And you’re here with...?” She raised her brows, “a guy?” she asked as her eyes fell on Jimin.

Oops... I momentarily forgot about Jimin. I turned around and saw him squaring up, slightly flustered from not knowing how to react from the unexpected meeting.

“Annyeonghaseyo eomonim.” He bowed.

“Aigoooo! Who’s child is so handsome like this!” My mother gushed and I unknowingly let a sigh of relief.

“Eomonim- please don’t misunderstand. I was just going to drop Hana home. We thought someone was trespassing her house-“

“Don’t worry about that! I didn’t say anything~ come and have a seat. I’ll make you some tea.”

He looked at me, eyes asking on what he should do. I just smiled at him then gestured him to sit.

It was merely about an hour later when I freshly went out of the shower and headed to the dining area to see my mother alone.

“Where’s Jimin?”

She placed a finger on her mouth and jutted her jaw towards the living room. I went over and saw Jimin sound asleep on the couch. I almost melt at the sight. He looked so innocent. I quickly headed back to my room and returned to place a blanket on him.

I went back towards the kitchen island, my mother sitting there drinking some warm tea. I hugged her before going to sit beside her.

“I’ve missed you a lot mom..” I held her hand and went to lean on her shoulder.

“Me too, dear..” She leaned her head on top of mine. “Do you like him?”

Love. I thought without a pause. “Yes.”

My mother just hummed in response.

I went out of my mom’s embrace and sighed. “I’m just.. scared. I like him so much sometimes it’s overwhelming.. Plus he can be a bit overbearing. I’m scared.. that things will end up like dad. He’s rich. Crazy rich. Just like dad too. I don’t ever know if he’s going to still like me even after ten years. I don’t know how much of my flaw he can take..”

My mom smiled fondly at me. “I can tell by the way he looks at you.. His eyes lit up just at the mention of your name. He smiles fondly whenever I share with him about your childhood.”

“Mom!”

She laughed. Her face was wrinkled, showing creases but she’s still as beautiful as ever and suddenly it hit me of how much I missed her.

“But seriously, go for your heart. Don’t be scared of love, my dear.” She said softly. Then she held out her hand and clasped mine. “With love.. it’s always risks and mistakes and errors before you’re sure of it. Give him a chance. You have to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

I only nodded in response. Because deep in my heart I knew her words were true.

JIMIN’S POV

The next morning, I woke up feeling a slight pain on my neck. I had fallen asleep on the couch last night. I noticed the pillow and blanket covering me which I knew Hana had prepared for me. I was still awake when she did so.

And then I heard hushed voices and sounds of plates clinking. The smell of fried rice entered my nose and immediately I heard my stomach grumbling.

“Jimin..?” I heard Hana’s voice called. I looked over to see her heading towards me with a fresh towel on her hand.

“Morning.” I said and she beamed at me.

“Good morning.” She replied back then handed me the towel. “Go shower. Breakfast is ready so be quick.”

I nodded and immediately got up. But not before I placed my fingers and caressed her cheeks, making her blush. Damn it, I want to kiss her but her mom would probably kick me out right then and there. So I resolved into winking at her before disappearing to the bathroom.

Half an hour later, we were in the car on our way to the campus. Hana’s mother had been so nice and even made some lunch pack for the both of us.

I looked over to my left and saw Hana fast asleep. I smiled fondly at her adorable and peaceful face.

My thoughts went back and wandered to the conversation I heard last night. I was tired so I sat on the couch and thought of getting a slight shut-eye but before I could drift off to sleep, I overheard Hana’s conversation with her mother.

So that’s why she was so reluctant to let me in. She was scared the same thing would happen to her.. just like her mother with her father which ended up with divorce.

Little did she know that I’d already spoken with her mother last night just as she was having the time of her life showering.

I confessed to her mother that I was genuinely in love with her daughter, had been chasing after her yet she refused to let me in.

Her mom held my hand. “Thank you so much.. for loving my daughter.. She is very reserved and doesn’t have faith in boys to begin with ever since she was little. And I think you changed that about her.”

And that’s when I decided that I was going to fight for her.

KIM HANA’S POV

“My family’s hosting a dinner charity event tomorrow night. The both of you are welcomed to join.” Jimin said as he took a seat next to me and immediately placed his arm around me. Jimin and I went on a double date sort of with Ah Young and Eun Woo today. Though it was still like a separate date since we only watched movies. We went to a coffee shop shortly after.

Eun Woo nodded. “Heard it from my dad yesterday.”

“Heol~ am I going to be in a place full of people with net worth more than $10 million each?” I joked.

“A good place for a proposal too.” Ah Young chirped in and winked at me.

I rolled my eyes at her. She then turned towards her boyfriend. “When are you gonna propose to me?”

“Anytime you wish.” Eun Woo replied and proceeded to plant a kiss on Ah Young’s lips. Damn, boy still doesn’t have a single care for the world about public display of affection. Ah Young went bright red and honestly, me too.

And all of a sudden I froze when I felt Jimin’s lips near my ears and whispered, “Hm.. not such a bad idea.. that..” making me shiver. What idea?

And so the next day I found myself sitting on a table set with fancy decoration and drapes not far from the stage between my boyfriend and my bestfriend, joined by Eun Woo and the other five of Jimin’s bestfriends.

Everyone looked dashing in their own impeccable suits, my bestfriend looked gorgeous too donning her midnight blue one shoulder strap dress filled with sequins. I myself wore an off shoulder long dress in cream pastel colour.

“Have I told you you look so damn beautiful tonight?” Jimin said, close to my ears. My hands were tightly clasped in his, firm on my lap.

I blushed, the effects of his words together with his low voice immediate on me. “Only for the millionth time.”

“I can’t help it..” he whispered, leaning even closer towards me. “I just feel like biting you.. here.” He leaned slightly lower and chastely gave a light kiss on my shoulder, making me shiver.

“Jimin, stop.” I warned. I could already feel a slight wetness pooling down there and I definitely do not want a repetition of previous misfortune the last time I ate with the rest of his best friends.

He leaned back away and then winked at me, making me roll my eyes.

“Welcome, welcome everyone to the Park’s annual charity event. As everyone invited might have known, my wife and I had founded this event and we’ve been doing this for seven years now in hope to contribute much more to the society.” I recognised Mr. Park giving a speech on the podium. “Every year, we have seen an increase in the number of generous donators with mostly coming from the strategic alliance and partners of Park Corporation itself. We wish to extend our greatest gratitude and are deeply honored for your generosity. We’d hoped to work more with socially conscious parties and organisations and together, we can be the change we wanted in the world.”

That earned a round of applause from the crowd.

“However, before that, we have some announcements to be made. First of all, allow me to invite my son to come up on the stage.”

His son? Jimin? I turned to look at him immediately. He only smiled at me in response, not uttering a single word. He then released my hand and went to come up on stage.

“Good evening, everyone.” He said after bowing. It was unfair, the lights shining on him only made him a thousand times more gorgeous. “I apologize for taking up the honored guests’ time, but I’d like to ask for a few minutes to announce something.”

He then took a deep breath and his gaze landed right to me.

My heart skipped a beat.

“So earlier this year, I was blessed enough to get closer to this wonderful woman, who I’ve been crushing on since forever.”

Oh my god... don’t tell me...

I heard Ah Young squealing beside me but I was lost in Jimin’s eyes. I could only see him.

“So please allow me to invite and introduce my beautiful girlfriend, Kim Hana.” He said and made a gesture for me to come near the stage.

I couldn’t think of anything and everything felt like a spur of moment, where I rose to my feet and someone pushed me forward and I’m now taking step by step towards him, towards Jimin, the love of my life.

He held his arm out to me when I went near and I gratefully took it. My leg was all jelly now. He laced his hands with mine immediately. I finally get a good look at the crowd and I can’t push away the nerve that tingled me to the spine as I wasn’t used to being the centre of attention.

He said to the mic, “Everyone, I just wanted to take this opportunity to..” and suddenly he went down on one knee right in front of me.

I was beyond shocked I had no memory of how I reacted then.

But then on Jimin’s hand was a ring, a diamond ring that looked so beautiful.. I felt my eyes watering when he uttered those words.

“..do this.” He finished. And then to me, “Marry me?” He looked up at me.

I swear a tear escaped my bay. My heart pounds furiously. But all I could see is him.

“Y-yes..” I croaked. More towards me and towards him. And then a more confident, “Yes.”

And the crowd erupted into a loud cheer. But it was all muted to me. Because right then and there, my eyes were only at him. Will and forever will be.

I stood still, mesmerized when he placed the ring on my finger and pulled me into an embrace before finally, planting a kiss on my forehead. “Thank you baby..” he whispered.

This was all so sudden, I can’t believe it was really happening. I’m Jimin’s fiancee now?! My head felt like it was spinning around.

And the mic went back towards Mr. and Mrs. Park. I stood awkwardly still beside Jimin, and I’m so grateful to him for putting his hand on the small of my back, supporting me.

“So with that settled.. I also have an announcement to be made..” Mr. Park said. “I am here to announce that I hereby would like to appoint my son as the rightful heir to the Park Corporations. Effective from this Monday as well, he would be positioned as the new CEO and I will be stepping down. However, I would remain advisor to important matters as the Chairman of the company.”

I gaped. This was all news to me!

“Technically, this is still unofficial. Everyone would receive the news officially once we all enter the office tomorrow.”

Half an hour later, I still had problems trying to wrap my brains around everything. I stood awkwardly still beside Jimin, his hand firm on my waist as some investor or another close partner of the company congratulated him.

“You okay?” Jimin asked.

“Umm.. I just need a bathroom break for a moment.”

“Sure. Don’t take too long though.” He smiled and I smiled back at him. I whisked myself towards the bathroom as soon as he untangled himself from me.

Is everything happening for real? It felt weird.. No matter how he may wanted it to be a surprise.. he probably should’ve asked me first.. perhaps privately? And my mother.. holy shit! My mom! Should I call and ask her? What if she says no? Is everything cancelled then? It can’t be cancelled though..

I shook my head. I need answers from Jimin. But not now. I proceeded to wash my face and immediately felt slightly better. I reapplied my makeup and was going to head out when someone blocked my pathway.

A girl, hair tied in a pretty braid, donning a medium-length black satin dress, Yoo Nara.

I stared down at her but all she did was smirk at me.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“You know what,” she crossed her arms, “you’ll never be good enough for him.”

Wow. Literally, who does she thinks she is? “Thanks for your kind words. I’ll keep that in mind.” I made my way again but she blocked it yet again.

“How long do you think he can put up with you? Did you know that because of you he had to accept his father’s order to inherit the company when he didn’t want to?”

What..? I staggered slightly. “What do you mean?”

She scoffed. “You know nothing, do you? And you expect him to love you endlessly? Well, newsflash girl, love doesn’t show you the reality and how the world actually works. Pull yourself together.” She stepped closer to me. “You will never be good enough for him.”

I felt myself boiling inside. “Shut the fuck up, bitch.” Seeing her flustered reaction, I left smiling satisfactorily although a thousand of emotions rushed through me.

Did Jimin really had to go through all that because of me? Was that the deal he had to accept from his father? What do I do..?

In the midst of the crowd, I suddenly felt lost. I searched for Jimin but couldn’t find him anywhere. I felt a sudden urge to cry. Tears threatening to escape from its bay.

Somewhere ahead me, I saw Namjoon sunbae smiling at me then waved his hand at me. I waved back but knew that I wanted to be alone now. So I made my way out to the corner of the garden where there was no people. The Park’s mansion had huge garden, but even bigger backyard. They were all well kept of course. None of the flowers seemed to be out of its place.

I sighed. Is that what I will always be? A flower that does not deserve to be in the high garden? Always out of place and unfitting?

The tears that was threatening burst out and I struggled to wipe it with the back of my hand, afraid to ruin my makeup.

“Need some tissue?” Someone asked.

“Oh my!” I gasped in surprised and clutched my chest tightly. I turned around.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

I blinked several times, enough to make sure that I wasn’t hallucinating. “J-jungkook...?”

He smiled his expensive bunny smile and I lurched forward to hug him. “Oh my god it’s really you..”

He laughed. “Come on, are you really going to ignore my hand?”

I stepped back and saw that he held out a tissue for me. I gratefully took it. “Sorry I was just... I wasn’t expecting to see you here..”

He remained silent.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

Suddenly his face turned serious. No longer smiling. There was something cold in his expression.

“Doesn’t matter.” He answered me short. “Are you seriously going to be with that bastard?”

W-what..? “What are you talking about?”

He laughed, but the laugh was so sneer it confused me whether it was actually Jungkook talking. “Don’t try to joke with me. You heed my advice. I told you not to be with that bastard Jimin. And now you’re getting fucking married to him..?”

“Jungkook what is wrong with you?” I’ve never heard him use crude words before. He was always soft spoken and kind..

“What is wrong with me? Nothing.. there’s nothing wrong with me. But you.. hmm..” he stepped closer. I took a step back. He took another and got even closer till my waist hit the garden’s fence. “You.. Kim Hana.. you’ve been such a pain in my ass.” He whispered that last words then placed his hands on my cheeks, pushing it together till I felt pain. Instinctively, my hand flew to grab his, desperately trying to stop him.

“Jungkook!” I screamed through gritted teeth.

“I had been so nice to you.. so understanding.. and yet.. you’re still running to him. Tell me.. what do I lack?” His free left hand went down and I froze when I felt it grazed my breast. “God you’re so fucking pretty yet you’re giving it all to Jimin that fucker..”

I mustered all my strength to push him. But all he did was held his thighs against mine, both his hands gripping my wrists so tight it hurt. His face was inches against mine and I turned my face immediately to the side, desperate to have some distance.

Jimin.. Jimin where are you... I thought desperately and I felt my eyes becoming watery.

“Are you crazy?!”

Jimin.

It’s his voice.

I sighed in relief.

And within a second, Jungkook was snatched away from me and I struggled to blink the tears away so I could see clearly.

I gasped when I saw Jimin holding Jungkook by his collar, his eyes filled with rage.

“Do you want to fucking die?! Huh?!”

I saw him raising his fist and knew that I had to stop him before everything turned ugly at this party. “Jimin don’t!” I held onto his hand desperately.

“Babe.. baby are you okay? Are you hurt? Because if you are I swear-“

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” I said, quickly wiping my eyes. I turned towards Jungkook who was smirking at the both of us. He seemed off.. was he drunk? “Jimin let him go.”

He gave me a look of are-you-serious but still released him after staring at Jungkook as if daring him to do anything.

“Jungkook.. why are you here? You can’t be here if you’re not invited.” I said slowly.

He fell silent.

Jimin scoffed. “He’s the motherfucking only son of the founder of Korea’s biggest pharmaceutical chain.”

That hurt like a stab of knife. “You.. you’re rich..?” I choked. Flashes of him saying he needs to work part time.. and me stupidly assuming we were on the same boat..

“If you want the mother fucking money, I’m here you little slut. Why do you have to choose him?”

I swore Jimin was about to plunge forward and throw Jungkook to the ground but I was quicker. I stepped forward and slapped him in the face, well aware of the tear that rolled down my face at the same time. For the first time, I saw Jungkook’s look of fear.

“I genuinely thought of you as a friend. A genuine friend.. who happened to be in the same situation as mine.” I said through tears.

He didn’t say anything but his expression told me he was painful as well. For hurting him. And disappointment in himself.

“I hope I don’t ever see you again Jeon Jungkook. Goodbye.” And with that, I turned on my heels as tears gushed down my face.

Link to Masterlist

Posted on 201108 11:12PM

[kprciffdw]

Ratchet and Kim Possible Chronicles: The Lombax Secret-Part 4

They made their way into the plant, almost immediately, the announcer could be heard. Announcer: “Attention, citizens. This plant has been shut down by order of Emperor Tachyon. You are trespassing on Imperial property.” Kim: “Like we care about the Imperial’s dumb rules.” Ratchet: “Come on, guys, let’s go break some more rules.” Kim: “Heh! Gladly.”

They rushed through the place, fighting through hazard after hazard that attempted to derail their advances multiple times. They managed to reach the first of the main machinery. They toggled with it for a bit, turning on one of the Gelatonium Pumps. Announcer: “Gelatonium Pump restored. Plant operating at 50%. We must remind you that you are defying an Imperial Direct Degree. Desist at once.” Ratchet: “You hear that, Kim? We’re violating one of their rules.” Kim: “Hm, that we are; we must be doing something right. Let’s keep at it.” Ratchet: “Thought you’d never ask.”

They continued further into the plant, fighting through more hazards that tried getting in their way. As always, they were able to handle them without any issues. They eventually reached the second and final pump. They toggled with it and turned it back on. Announcer: “Gelatonium Plant restored to 100%. Emperor Tachyon will be most displeased.” Clank: “Ratchet, Miss Possible, we should see that smuggler about that ride he promised us.” Ratchet: “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

They rushed out of the plant as fast as they could and made their way back to the smuggler. Smuggler: “Well, you’ve done a fantastic job with restorin’ this here plant. So, how’s about I give you 3 that ride. But…I’ll only take ya as far as Stratus City.” Kim: “Stratus City? Where is that exactly?” Smuggler: “You mean you don’t know where the city is?” Ratchet: “We’ve never even heard of it before.” Smuggler: “Hm…you’re not from around here, are ya?” Clank: “No, we are not.” Smuggler: “Well then, hop in and I’ll tell ya whatever ya need to know.”

They got into the Smuggler’s ship along with the Smuggler himself. They then took off and left the planet

They took on a long flight through space, which seemed to have them going at light speed. They were eventually able to reach a planet named Kortog. There, they flew through the skies above Stratus City. Kim, Ratchet and Clank sat in the cargo hold directly behind the Smuggler as he drove his ship. Kim: "So, let me get this straight: we're in the Polaris Galaxy?" Smuggler: "That's right, lil lady." Ratchet: "And Tachyon owns everything in it?" Smuggler: "Pretty much. Ironic, ain't it, the one Cragmite they didn't vaporize comes back to oppress the galaxy." Kim: "They?" Clank: "Pardon me, but who are "they"?" Smuggler: "Huh, you really aren't from around here. The Lombaxes!" Kim: "The…Lombaxes?" Smuggler: "Yes! They vaporized a whole lot of the Cragmites years ago and left their home planet nothin' but an empty hunk of dirt." Parrot: "AWK! All hail the Lombaxes! Saviors of the Universe! AWK!" Kim: "Hm, so that's why Tachyon hates Lombaxes so much. That heinous twerp invaded the galaxy we were in and tried to kill our friend over he…"

Ratchet immediately used his hand to cover her mouth before she could even finish her sentence and shushed her. Computer Voice: "Attention, transport vessel: a bioscan has revealed that a Lombax is aboard your ship. Standby for immediate disintegration." Parrot: "AWK! Ditch the Lombax! Nothin' but trouble! Nothin' but trouble!" Kim: "Perhaps you should just drop us off here." Smuggler: "Why, certainly, lil lady."

He pulled a lever that was directly near him, causing a latch below the group to open. They fell right through and plummeted towards the city below.

Despite being very high above the city, they were able to land safely. However, it wasn't all good news. Voice: "He's touching down in Sector 1. Send in all available drop-in units." Kim: "Well, that's just great. They've managed to follow us here." Ratchet: "Uh, well, we are in their territory, so of course they were able to follow us." Kim: "Yes, of course, that does make sense."

Just then, the Kimmunicator went off. Kim answered it. Kim: "Yeah, Wade?" Wade: "Guys, I've been looking into your current location and…I hate to tell you this, but everything that smuggler just told you was true; you're in another galaxy and it is named Polaris." Kim: "Whoa, we're a lot more than far from Kerwan; we're not even in the same galaxy as it." Wade: "I know, that cruiser you guys hitched a ride on must have set a course for back to where it came from." Ratchet: "Well, that goes without saying." Wade: "That's not even the half of it." Ratchet: "Let me guess, it has something to do with that Tachyon guy, right?" Wade: "That would be an understatement. He is a self-proclaimed emperor of the entire galaxy. He controls the entire sector that you guys are in now. I managed to hack into the computer of the cruiser that you guys just stole and found out a heck of a lot about him. He is a member of an alien race known as the Cragmites; the entire race was said to be wiped out by the Lombaxes; the same race as you, Ratchet."

All eyes looked directly towards Ratchet, who was obviously concerned. Ratchet: "Was…was this because the Cragmites wanted to dominate the entire Universe?" Wade: "Yes and from what I was able to find out, the Cragmites were power hungry and very ruthless. They tried to take over the galaxy and eventually go as far as ruling the entire Universe, but the Lombaxes stopped them and perhaps even vaporized them. Apparently, Tachyon is the only surviving member of the race." Kim: "But why is that? How did he survive? And what of the Lombaxes; do you know where they are?" Wade: "I'm afraid I haven't found the answers to any of those questions. What I just told you guys is all I know. The nature of all of this is a complete mystery; how the Lombaxes eradicated all of the Cragmites, how Tachyon survived, all of it. I can't even pick up on any bio-readings of them." Ratchet: "Guess we'll just have to find out all of this for ourselves." Wade: "I'll keep looking into this and see if I can find anything else. Oh and one other thing: Kim, I told your parents about the situation that you, Ratchet and Clank are in. They're relieved to hear you guys are OK, but they are worried for you." Kim: "Well, that's to be expected." Wade: "And…also?"

Wade seemed hesitant to finish what he was about to say. Kim: "Huh? What is it, Wade?" Wade: "It's about Ron." Ratchet: "Oh, no, what is it this time?" Wade: "After I informed everyone at home of what's been happening, he…well…he…hitched a ride on one of Dr. Possible's specially made spacecrafts and…he's heading for the Polaris Galaxy as we speak." Kim: "What!? He's heading here now!? You can't be serious!" Wade: "Believe me, I wish I wasn't." Ratchet: "That crazy lunatic! He's done some idiotic things before, but this is just…(grunt)" Clank: "Yes, this is indeed very worrisome." Kim: "Looks like we'll have to keep an eye out for him…or wherever he crashes…let's go."

Kim shut off the Kimmunicator and they rushed out towards the city at great speed.

[theabandonmentissues]

EPISODE ONE TRANSCRIPT

Warning: The following podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Trespassing is not only illegal, but often incredibly dangerous. The hosts do not condone any activities that could put their listeners in harms way, and encourage you to proceed with caution and do your research before exploring the unknown. We cannot be held liable for any accidents, injury, or hauntings that may occur. Listener discretion is advised. 

(full transcript under the cut.)

E:Alright I think this is right.

Z: Is it?

E: Yeah, yeah that's right, okay.

Z: Beautiful.

E: Let me find this tweet. The first thing in my drafts, is (laughs)-

Z: I'm scared.

E: (laughs)...I remember typing this out at like 2 o'clock in the morning when I had to be up for work at five. I put, “I love not learning new pop culture terms. Love being blissfully unaware. I still am not sure what poggers means. I do not care. I am free.”

Z: (laughs)

E: And I was so tired I thought that was profound. Let's see.

Z: (continues laughing)

E & Z: (laugh)

Z: Damn. That's like our declaration of independence.

E: (laughs) I'm going to print that out on the wall.

Z: That's Gen Z's declaration.

E: Let's see, where is it? There's one about Jack Black being sexy.

Z: Yeah, and it's in the drafts, why?

E: (laughs) This one says, this one all it says, no capitalization, no punctuation is, “I want Ellen Ripley to knock me out cold.”

E: (laughs)

Z: (laughs)

E: And I live by that.

Z: That's your truth and you should speak it.

E: Okay, here it is. “Sometimes, facing your fears means letting out that earth-shattering fart in the public restroom, even if there are other occupants. Speak loud, even when your voice shakes, babes.”

Z: (laughs) Shut the fuck up.

E: (laughs)

Z: No!

E: Yeah, that one...uh, that one is in the drafts. Alright, well. You asked about an intro, and I had something that was work shopping.

Z: Oooooo...

E: Do you wanna hear it?

Z: Yes, please. Please, please.

E: Alright. Hello, welcome to The Abandonment Issues, a periodical podcast about the past, the paranormal, and the just plain perplexing. I'm your host, Em.

Z: And I'm Zack.

E: How'd you feel-

Z: The other host. (laughs)

E: How'd you feel about that alliteration?

Z: You know I love alliteration.

E: I do too, I got really excited about it.

Z: (laughs)

E: I was like dead asleep, well, I wasn't dead asleep. I was very close to being though.

Z: Right.

E: And I had that thought, and I was like “Fuck, I gotta wake up and type that.” So...

Z: It was worth it though.

E: Thank you.

Z: I like it.

E: I don't know if that'll stick, but I think-

Z: I don't know, it's a start

E: It's a good start. Yeah.

Z: Yeah. Well..

E: So.

Z: Howdy doody, how ya doing.

E: Oh god, well um, I just whacked my headphones against my mic and I think it's still vibrating. But otherwise, I'm doing great.

Z: (laughs) Well, that's good.

E: How ya been?

Z: I mean, I've been alright.

E: That's good.

Z: We haven't seen each other, I mean, we haven't like recorded-recorded in two weeks?

E: Yeah.

Z: It's been like two weeks, so.

E: Yeah, I think so.

Z: It's been a second, but yeah.

E: Oh?

Z: So.

E: This is our first official, like official recording, the other ones were just tests, so.

Z: So, it's a little different, yeah. Like Em said, we did a couple recordings, so we kind of like, dipped our toes in the water of what it's like to just get behind the mics and stuff, but again this is our first episode, and we kinda just wanted to, lean in and kind of explain why we are here.

E: Yeah.

Z: What we are going to be doing, things we are going to talk about et cetera, et cetera.

E: Yeah.

Z: So. Do you want to-let's start with the-we have a couple ice breaker questions.

E: I'm so excited.

Z: Because, okay, so, you have a college degree.

E: I do.

Z: I have college credits. So we both went to college. (laughs)

E: Yes.

Z: You know, it's fun to do the ice breaker questions when you start a class.

E: Yeah.

Z: Because, even if you don't pay attention to anything that anybody else says-

E: Someone is going to change something that changes your life.

Z: Every single time-

E: Especially, I'm sorry to interrupt.

Z: No, you're good.

E: But, especially if you are playing two truths and a lie. I have found that that is the ice breaker game that I come away changed forever, like I've learned some things about some people playing that game. Are you okay?

Z: There's a burp coming.

E: (laughs)

E: Just let 'er out.

Z: (burps) There it is. (laughs)

E: Wow, that was lovely.

Z: Not to derail, real quick, but-

E: Go for it.

Z: Have you ever used Bumble?

E: Very briefly.

Z: One of my favorite things about Bumble, is that you can do like questions or whatever-

E: And that's one of 'em.

Z: That's one of them! It really, it's really telling. And I love, cause one of my truths is always so bizarre. You know which one I am talking about, but no one ever goes for it.

E: I honestly can't-

Z: The car. *laughs*

E: Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that one is pretty unbelievable. But-

Z: Yeah, we'll save that for another time.

E: I've seen that one, uh, I've seen the repercussions of that one in real time.

Z: Anyway.

Z: (laugh)

E: Alright, well...

Z: Episode one, we are going to expose my entire past.

E: Yeah.

Z: Okay, so. When we first kind of, started talking about the idea for this podcast, which really was just bred, I think just kind of like a joke text that I sent. Or that you sent.

E: I honestly don't even remember.

Z: It was, I mean just the, the very cliché, “We should start a podcast!” and then it just kind of went from there. Just I mean, 2020.

E: Yeah.

Z: It's nothing but boredom. When when we first started talking about, what we wanted to do with our podcast. It really just stemmed from, for me anyway, just really wanting to bring light to the history that exists here in the south.

E: Yeah we didn't really say that, we-

Z: No. (laughs)

E:...we are in the south, we are some good 'ol southern boys.

Z: Just a couple of southern boys.

E: Yea!

Z: We grew up very close to each other, as far as, location.

E: Yeah.

Z: And you know, our high schools probably taught around the same genre and path of like history.

E: Yeah.

Z: It's all white washed and gross. Bleh. But-

E: It's only getting worse, did you hear that Tennessee is like, passing laws to, how did they put it, it's so, it's such bullshit. Basically erasing any history of slavery or discrimination. I think that call it something like Radical Race Theory.

Z: Well, that's great. Welcome to our podcast where we are gonna nip all that in the butt.

E: Yeah.

Z: Because truly, like Em just stated, it's only getting worse, apparently. Jesus Christ, I hate Tennessee.

E: Yeah, I found out like a week ago.

E: Hi guys this is Em, I'm doing the editing, and I just wanted to clarify something really quick. When we were recording this episode, I misspoke and I said that this concept was called Radical Race Theory, but that is incorrect. The correct term is Critical Race Theory. So, I am sorry for that error. If you don't know what a ban like this would mean, the short version is basically, is that American lawmakers are trying to dictate and restrict what can and can't be taught in public schools about the history of systemic racism and slavery in the United States. I'm going to include some links in our resources for the episode where you can learn more about this and we really encourage you to check those out and do your research, because this is obviously an important part of American history for everyone. To erase these topics from lesson plans, really presents a biased and skewed version of events. Anyway, I'm sorry for that error and I hope you enjoy the rest of the episode .

Z: There's just so much history and just stories that are just passed down even by even just word of mouth-

E: Mmhmm

Z:...down here in the south. That literally no one knows about.

E: Yeah.

Z: I think that's, that really is what piqued our interest. When we were throwing around the idea of this podcast to begin with, it really was just like, “We're gonna find an abandoned building, we're going to dig into the research of it, and we're going to talk about this abandoned place.” And from what we are now, it's really expanded to literally just like a history lesson.

E: History, I think it's important to not only to cover the actual facts, but also, I think, not necessarily, like fiction and urban legends and that kind of thing. I think that sort of thing has a lot to do with like story telling, and the culture of the area like-

Z: Right.

E:..like there are, you know, you have things from like, the stories that your grandmother would tell you to keep you from being a little shit when you were a kid.

Z: (laughs)

E: Or, you know, why if there's like an anecdote for why is the sky blue, how did this mountain range be formed. Y'know I think stuff like that is really interesting. When you're driving along some random ass back road and you see an old house, and you think, “Huh, I wanna know the history of that place.” That is the kind of, the kind of thing, that I think really inspires me, is like. Seeing something, not knowing anything about it, wanting to learn about it.

Z: Exactly. And-

E: (laughs)

Z:...we had created like a little baby list of questions that we wanted to ask. When we first started kind of throwing around the idea of what we wanted to do. We kind of already covered a couple of them. But I guess I'll just kind of go down the list again.

E: Okay, sure.

Z: Just to kind of like, ya know, put the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

E: Yeah.

Z: So, the first question that we have, is who or what are our inspirations?

E: Okay.

Z: So I would say, for me personally, like I said, just growing up, and like I can't think of anything off the top of my head. But like growing up and learning that an event happened. Or someone did this thing and, you come to realize later on in life that what you were taught, wasn't necessarily the truth. The whole truth, anyway.

E: Yeah.

Z: So for me, I guess, it's not so much a who, as so much as a what. For me it's just really like uncovering what is real.

E: Okay, yeah.

Z: So.

E: I think, I think that's a good way to put it. And I feel like, y'know, disclaimer, we are not perfect, we are probably not always going to do perfect research. You know, we're not exposing all the facts, in their, 100% true form, 'cause you know. We're just taking the information that we can find and putting that to use. But I agree, I think that that's a big part of it for me is like. I can remember several times when I was younger, like having a teacher, do a lesson and be like, “Oh well this thing happened,” and then being like well, “Okay I want to know more about that but I don't know how.” And now, you know, I'm an adult, and I have better research skills, so.

Z: Right.

E: I think it's a far more entertaining use of my time, that what I was doing previously. Which was just, laying on the floor and looking at TikTok.

Z: Right. (laughs)

E: (laughs)

Z: TikTok truly, worms in my brain.

E: Yeah.

Z: But, it truly, this is just, even, I mean, we've been batting around the idea of this podcast for a couple months.

E: Mmhmm.

Z: And just getting started, and doing the research and like looking into these stories, has been so much fun.

E: Oh yeah.

Z: And, I know the story that you're going to cover today has been one.

E: Yes.

Z: And I know that I've heard bits and pieces throughout our friendship, pretty much.

E: Mmhmm.

Z: And we've known each other for awhile.

E: Mmhmm.

Z: So I'm excited to get, like the full, like get in there.

E: Yeah, I'm excited about yours too, because like,it-it's, I mean, I think, I feel like maybe comparatively I might know just a tiny bit more about yours than you might know about mine.

Z: Right.

E: Just because I've been to this location.

Z: Right.

E: And I've like snooped around there.

Z: Everyone has in this area.

E: Yeah.

Z: Well, goals for the podcast. Do you have any goals in mind?

E: I want a Lamborghini.

Z: I want to be Mr. Beast.

E: I thought you were *laughs* I thought you were gonna say Mr. Bean.

E&Z: *laugh*

E: Oh my god, which actually-

Z: That too.

E:...derailed, for a second, but this is relevant considering what I just said, um, did you know-do you listen...I know you like Gracie Helbig and Mamrie Hart.

Z: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

E: Do you listen to their podcast?

Z: Oh yeah.

E: Have you heard the one where they talk about how Mr. Bean has wrecked two McLarens?

Z: YES!

E: Apparently the man has like a 170 IQ and a passion, a deep burning passion for sports cars. And he has-I don't know if he has if he has wrecked two different ones or if it's the same one that he's wrecked twice. But he is currently trying to sell it for like 12 million dollars. And that, I have thought about that fact all fucking week. All week. They were talking about cars at work yesterday and I had to just like clench my fists and hold in the fact that I wanted to yell across the expo station, “MR. BEAN HAS WRECKED TWO MCLARENS!” Anyway.

Z: Truly it's a-

E: So sorry, but I had to get that off my chest

Z: Oh my god.

E: Rowan Atkincenter, what is his name? Ronan? Rowan Atkinson?

Z: Mr. Bean?

E: Yeah.

Z: I don't know his-the only thing I know about Mr. Bean is that he has wrecked two McLarens.

E&Z: *laughs*

E: Oh my god..

Z: Um, jesus. Goals for the podcast for me um. Yeah, a Lamborghini would be nice.

E: It would be nice, wouldn't it?

Z: No, truthfully, and I feel like I've said this like 50 times already. It's just getting the information out there. Letting people be in the know about what's going on in the south. Because I feel like *clears throat* excuse me. There's like this weird stigma against the south.

E: For sure.

Z: And it's just poor and dirty...

E: And ignorant.

Z: And ignorant. And like, there's so much that goes on down here that no one really knows about because it is so outside of “normal society?”

E: Yeah.

Z: I guess in other people's eyes? And that's even just like in the United States, even outside of the United States I'm sure that...The south is just like a cesspool of jokes.

E: Yeah.

Z: But-

E: Well I agree with that. I think that it's very much, uh there's a disconnect between like, people who actually live here and people that have never been here. And just like how it's, you know portrayed in the media. There's so. I think there's something like, I don't know the exact statistics, but I'm pretty sure that if you actually look at the numbers there is so much more diversity than in a good deal of the United States. Like, um I was reading something the other day that said that the south, like the American south is one of the most diverse places in terms of like LGBT folks and I'm not sure if that's true. But honestly, I would believe it. But yeah, I think that that's very much, getting the information out there, but also, it's a desire, personally, it's you know, a desire for more information in general.

Z: True.

E: Because-

Z: Yeah.

E: You know, I've lived here my whole life and I feel like I know a lot of cool little bits and pieces about stuff but you can always learn more.

Z: Oh yeah.

E: That is my motto.

Z: 100%.

E: You can always, always find something else out. Even if it's something that you think that you know everything about it, you can always dig deeper and find out more. So.

Z: 100%.

E: For sure, for sure.

Z: This next question is past exploration stories. I'm about to tell one of mine.

E: Okay.

Z: That's my whole story. So, do you have any that you would like to share?

E: Hm...

Z: I mean, I've done like geocaching, that sort of thing, but like.

E: Yeah,

Z: Other than that, like.

E: Yeah. I have been geocaching, I actually, I have been to the location you're going to cover today. And I thought I was going to get in big trouble, because the owner pulled up in his pickup truck and I was so afraid. I was there with my sister and, Vivian, I don't know if you'll hear this. But um, my friend Vivian, and we were walking around. We climbed the steps. We like went-I was too chicken shit to go all the way up to the top because it's a very tall structure and the stairs are very old. And I was like “nope, Imma go halfway but this step is broken, I'm not going any farther.” And then we came back down and this guy pulled up and I was like “Oh god, he's gonna get so mad at us.” He pulled up and we had Vivian's puppy with us and he rolled the window of his truck down, and he was like, “Can I give the dog a biscuit?!” And we were like, “Yes sir you can!” And he just stood there and talked to us for a little while, it was very cool.

Z: Yeah.

E: But yeah, I can't think of anything other than that, not offhand. I would like to make some more.

Z: Yeah. Same.

E: I have not been in an old building in a cool minute. Um, actually, I'm sorry, I did think of one.

Z: No, you're good.

E: Uh, we were walking around, I don't want to triangulate our location. *laughs*

Z: Right.

E: But we were, a couple of my friends and I, were walking around in this, kind of like, like uh small back road I guess you would say near one of their houses. And there was this old kind of a house? I don't know if it was actually a house at one point or if it was just like a shed. But we uh, hiked back a little off the road and went in there, and there was just like all these old bottles. Like, from the '50s all over the floor and that's something that I collect, and I was like “Oh shit, this is private property, I know we're probably trespassing. Imma take some of these bottles.” And I had a coat on with big pockets. So I put a couple of them in my pocket.

Z: *laughs*

E: And we hiked back out, and my mom called me, and I was probably like, I don't know sixteen, seventeen maybe?

Z: Sure.

E: She was like, “Hey where are you?” And I was like “We went for a walk, we're walking back to so and so's house.” and she was like “ Okay well, we'll meet you up there, I have something to give you,” and I was like “okay.” And when she pulled up I was like, “I have something to give YOU.” And she was like “What?” and I pulled out this crusty ass bottle of like vanilla extract from the 1960s, and was like, “Here ya go!” And my mom of course, I get that fascination from her, she also collects that stuff. So she was like, “Wow! This is so cool, where did you get it?” And I was like, “Well...-

Z: *laughs* That spooky building! As the thunder claps.

E:...we went in that spooky house.” And she was like, “Oh my god that's dangerous!!” And I was like, “Well, we already did it.”

Z: Yeah.

E: So yeah, that was fun. I love doing shit like that.

Z: God, me too. Is this trespassing? I love trespassing.

E: (laughs) I do, I do.

Z: Oh my god.

E: Yeah.

Z: Any topics that you wanna cover, discuss, why?

E: I think we both have a list of stuff that we would like to cover in the future.

Z: Right.

E: I will say, I don't want this to be like specifically true crime. Like I don't want to have all my stories be in one genre. I will say that some of them are paranormal related, some of them are true crime related, some of them are just general history.

Z: Same yeah.

E: I am always, I have very much a morbid curiosity.

Z: Same.

E: I will do my best to treat those with respect and there is one in particular that I am very interested to cover, because I have never heard of it, and it happened, like, in the town that I grew up in, which is very small.

Z: Right.

E: Not a whole lot of reported murders, but his name is Joe Shepherd and he was a killer in that area in the 70s I believe? And I was having a conversation with a friend of mine one day, when we were, like, first work shopping this. I don't think we'd even bought our mics yet-

Z: I don't think so either

E:...and we were talking about it, and she was just like, “Oh you know about Joe Shepherd right?” And I said, “No?” And she was like, “ Yeah, he murdered somebody and put her in the wood pile.” And I was like, “EXCUSE ME, how have I never heard this?!” So I uh, I have to, have to know more about that. I gotta know whats going on.

Z: Right. For me it's kind of in the same vein of, I mean my stories are kind of gonna be everywhere, but I'm really excited for my story for the next podcast that we're gonna do. Because it was right around the time where we started really figuring out what we wanted to do for sure with this podcast. And we went to just like a couple of used bookstores just to look for some, just some paper sources. And I found a book that was super cool, very interesting. Loved it, I've read it like twice already.

E: Oh really the whole thing?

Z: It's not very long, but I've read it like twice already, just reading through. The first story in that book is truly whacko-

E: Yeah?

Z:..so I'm going to cover that the next time we record

E: That's exciting.

Z: And I'm really excited for it. It's a missing persons. We won't say true crime, but I'll say it's a missing persons.

E: Yeah, 'cause we're not really sure if a crime was committed. Like I don't really know the whole story obviously but you've told me bits and pieces, and you know, there's several theories right? Of what actually happened?

Z: Oh yeah, I've got a couple theories that I have that I wanna, but we'll get to that.

E: We'll get to that next time.

Z: Alright, so full disclosure, this whole operation, it's just us, it's me and Em and Em and me. We do have an assistant.

E: Vanessa.

Z: Her name is Linda and we love her.

E: We love Tracy with all our hearts

Z: Veronica, she really gets it done. We asked our lovely assistant, Carly, to get some normal ice breaker questions outside of the podcast because it's really, like we said before it's really telling of someone's character to have these questions answered and we just told. We told Carol to go nuts, so.

E: I'm excited for this, because you've had a little bit of a look at these, I don't know anything.

Z: I've read like the first two, and was like okay, I can see the direction that Sharon's going. Okay, so you haven't looked at these, I've read a couple so I'm just gonna go for it.

E: Let's go.

Z: The first one is if you could be on any reality/game show what would you choose?

E: Wheel of Fortune.

Z: Wheel of Fortune?

E: I always loved Wheel of Fortune. Or Jeopardy. I'm not smart enough to be on Jeopardy, but I love Jeopardy. I miss Alex Trebek, rest in peace.

Z: Rest in peace.

E: That man, god fucking bless.

Z: God bless. For me, and you'll know this, here lately, I've been really into discord, like, essentially role play survivor games. They're so much fun. I've applied to play my first one, but they're so much fun to watch. So I would say maybe that, or if it had to be a game show, I'm going to go with either Press Your Luck-

E: Okay.

Z: Or Shop Till You Drop.

E: I don't know what either of those are

Z: Really? Press your-

E: What is press your luck?

Z: Press your luck is the no whammies, no whammies, that one?

E: I don't know what that is.

Z: You don't know that one? I will show you a clip of.

E: I feel like I've heard someone say that.

Z: So well, here's the tea, my grandma would wake up in the mornings and she would watch us before we went to school. She would wake up in the morning, she would make my grandpa food. She would sit her butt in her recliner and turn on game show network, until her husband came home from work, and then she would make him dinner and then she would watch more game shows until she went to bed. That's all this woman did.

E: I love that.

Z: So, this brain-

E: It's in your brain forever.

Z:..is a rolodex of game show trivia, but that one's a fun one. Shop Till You Drop was essentially, I don't know which one came first, but Supermarket Sweep.

E: Okay.

Z: Have you ever seen that?

E: Like guys grocery game?

Z: Kind of, but they don't like cook, so they'll have like a list, like you'll get carrots on aisle five, and tuna on aisle six, and baby formula on aisle 12, and they just, they go for it. And the first to do it wins or whatever.

E: That sounds like a lot of fun. I do love to grocery shop. I think that would be a fun one too.

Z: So number 2, if you could eliminate one food, so that no one ever ate it again, what would you pick to destroy?

E: My gut instinct says tomatoes, because I hate tomatoes.

Z: *whispers* Same.

E: But I do, it's only, like. I like tomato based sauces and I like tomato soup, so I feel like I would regret that choice.

Z: Ketchup.

E: I don't know if you're for or against ketchup.

Z: I like ketchup but I hate tomatoes. I was adding to tomatoes' cause.

E: Yeah. That's a tough one.

Z: I'm gonna go with green beans.

E: I don't think I can agree with you on that one, I'm sorry.

Z: That's fine, you're entitled to your opinion, but I'm destroying green beans.

E: Okay, okay, um, god, that's really hard. I don't, I don't like tomatoes at all. I hate touching them, I hate dealing with them. I work in food service. I could also say mushrooms 'cause I really hate mushrooms.

Z: I love mushrooms.

E: That is something I find so interesting about you.

Z: That I like mushrooms?

E: Yeah, you know. You're kind of a-I don't know much about. I don't know, you're-in my eyes you're kind of a picky eater. Cause you don't like, like lettuce.

Z: I don't like lettuce.

E: What about like a good arugula? Do you like arugula?

Z: What's arugula?

E: Okay, we're gonna get you some arugula. It's a leafy green. You'll probably like, well no okay. I should-I take that back. You like Spinach.

Z: I do like Spinach.

E: Okay.

Z: Baby kale.

E: Do you like kale?

Z: I like baby kale.

E: Oh, okay.

Z: I don't like that-

E: I don't know that I've ever had the baby-

Z: It's just like spinach.

E: I mean it's-okay. Yeah that's fair.

Z: But.

E: Yeah, I'm gonna hard answer, I'm gonna say mushrooms 'cause I really fucking hate mushrooms.

Z: Valid.

E: Alright question 3.

Z: What is your favorite restaurant? In parenthesis, Zack, you cannot say McDonald's.

E&Z: *laugh*

E: Oh.

Z: Well.

E: Oh, Clarice. She's roasting ya.

Z: She really is. Shoot. I'm just going to go with fast food because-

E: Okay.

Z: Restaurants can mean any-

E: Fast food/fast casual, I think that's good.

Z: Sure. Dang, I really like. Well fast casual, I'm going to say Chili's.

E: Ooh yes.

Z: That street corn, honey chipotle tenders.

E: Those honey chipotle tenders, if I ever get married, that's what I want at my wedding.

Z: Catered?

E: Yeah, catered.

Z: Remember when I went to a-if you're hearing this Morgan, I'm sorry, remember when I went to a wedding that was catered by Cracker Barrel?

E: Yes!

Z: Morgan, I love you but, a choice was made. Okay, favorite restaurant?

E: The first thing that popped into my head was Olive Garden.

Z: *gasps*

E: I unironically, unashamedly, unabashedly. I love Olive Garden. I am-

Z: I'm white.

E: Very. Yeah, I am-I think like I don't wanna go all 23 & me, given that I haven't even taken one of those fucking tests. As far ass my family has told me I am like an 8th or a 16th Sicilian or something, so that Italian blood, it makes be crave Olive Garden like nobody's business.

Z: The breadsticks.

E: I see like the sign in the sky and it's like a werewolf to a full moon. And I go crazy.

Z: *laughs* I love Olive Garden.

E: The tiramisu? The chicken gnocchi soup with breadsticks?

Z: Gnocchi!

E: The Tour of Italy? Ah.

Z: The five dollar, to go entrees? You have lunch tomorrow.

E: That is a brilliant business plan.

Z: True.

E: You know what I want? What I desperately desperately want one. The unlimited pasta pass. I have wanted one of those since the day. Justin McElroy did an unboxxing and he got one.

Z: Olive Garden.

E: I really wanted one ever since.

Z: *whispers* Same.

E: Olive Garden sponsor us?

Z: Please god, I know this is our first episode but please.

E: I had an idea for another sponsor. Oh, Subway! Subway should sponsor us.

Z: Truly.

E: I can't believe that neither of us said Subway, actually. We-fun little BTS, behind the scenes, not the K-Pop group, sorry.

Z: Why did my brain go there first?

E: We know why.

Z: Not today. That's a song.

E: LITERALLY every time we've gotten together to brainstorm, put together anything for this show, with the exception of maybe once or twice, that I can't even recall, it's subway every single time, so.

Z: We gotta eat fresh.

E: Somebody, at Subway headquarters, say, “Hey, sponsor The Abandonment Issues-”

Z: Sponsor these people.

E: Plead our case, please.

Z: Please, please, we'll send you merch if we ever

get any.

E: I'll figure it out. I'll use my art degree. Alright. Question four!

Z: If you could take a trip anywhere in the world, where would you go?

E: Hm.

Z: Forks, Washington.

E: Oh my god.

Z: Final answer.

E: Oh my god. That's a good one, shit.

Z: (laughs) 'Cause genuinely, I don't know 'cause there's so many places to go.

E: Yeah, yeah it's very hard. I always did-okay, well on the topic of my Italian heritage.

Z: Oh Jesus.

E: I was supposed to go to Italy my junior year of college and, the trip got canceled because we didn't have enough people to go. And I was very excited for it, and I would still really enjoy it. I would love to go make that trip, because we were going to stay at a farm in Tuscany that's been there for like, I don't even know. Since like 700 A.D. Or some shit.

Z: That is crazy.

E: It's called Spannocchia if you want to look it up. There's this incredible little-they have this website with like a video that you can check it out. You get to eat like all the food that they give you and all the wine that they have is like made on site. We were going-they have like the original wood kiln-

Z: Wow.

E:...on site, and you could make things in their ceramics studio and you fire it in the kiln at the end of the trip. But they also do like chefs and like butchers internships there where you can go over there and learn how to do things the way they do them and I think that's fascinating.

Z: That's really cool.

E: One day I would love to go there.

Z: Oh yeah, 100%.

Z: Get the swear jar ready.

E: Oh god.

Z: What game or movie universe would you most like to live in? Kingdom Hearts.

E: *Did you bring a roll of quarters?

Z: I'm just gonna leave it at that. Kingdom hearts.

E: I know you said game or movie-

Z: Book?

E:...but can I fudge it a little bit and say podcast?

Z: Sure!

E: I would love to be a citizen of the town of Nightvale. I know you don't know anything about Welcome to Nightvale, but boy lemme tell ya. I would live there in a heartbeat. I love it. It's so weird. I know that that's maybe not some people want because it's kind of fucked up. Bad things happen to people there all the time.

Z: Right.

E: But it's that cosmic horror, but in a fun lighthearted way.

Z: Right.

E: That's the best way I can explain it. I just love it so much. Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kramer.

Z: God bless.

E: God bless you. You two really do some amazing work. I'm literally looking at a signed photograph of Symphony Sanders and Cecil Baldwin right now. They watch over our podcast. But yeah, I would love that. I think that the aesthetic is immaculate. There's deserts, there's glowing lights in the sky above the Arby's.

Z: There's an Arby's in this Universe?

E: Yes bitch! They're just regular people like you and me. There's literally, I wanna say in episode one, there's this beautiful passage where Cecil is like “Lights, blinking in the sky above the Arby's. Not the glowing sign of the Arby's, but something higher.

Z: Did I write this? Did I ghost write this?

E: You could have. I have all the books behind me, I'm very much a fan.

Z: If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be?

E: Hypogriff.

Z: That was a fast but good answer. I would probably be a gnome.

E: (laughs) Oh fuck! Yeah.

Z: I spend my entire life-

E: Yeah.

Z:..being 6 foot tall, I just wanna live a little down there.

E: That's a good one.

Z: Yeah. What small, insignificant thing gives you joy?

E: Thrift store knick knacks.

Z: Sure.

E: That's pretty much the biggest one. I go into Amvets like once a week. And I'll get-I don't have my Keith Urban mug in here. But I get so many tiny dingy things and they always bring me such joy. That tiny little frog that I got at the antique store the last time you and I went, that thing? I'm still riding the high.

Z: For me, I would say it's like when you, complete a book series, and you get that final one and you put it up on the shelf, and you see it on the shelf together. That's my-and it doesn't have to be like, for me it's like books, video games, manga, whatever.

E: Yeah.

Z: Just seeing it complete on the shelf just does it for me.

E: I love that. That's a very good feeling.

E: Yeah.

Z: What is the dumbest purchase you have ever made?

E: Oh Zack, oh Zack, this is a hard question, cause I really-

Z: I don't know! Because I make a lot of dumb purchases.

E: I know exactly what mine is, I'm afraid to say.

Z: Can you say it? What is it?

E: You know what it pertains to.

Z: Do I? Why are you blinking? You don't have to say it if you don't want to.

E: No, I'm gonna say it.

Z: Thank god.

E: So, what was the year? I wanna say 2011/2013.

Z: Uh-oh. I know where we're going!

E: God, I made you promise not to mention this, to not drag me about any of this but i'm going to go ahead and out myself in episode one.

Z: Oh no.

E: I was a backer of the-

Z: Ahaaahaahaaaaa!!!!

E: Stop screaming and just let me get the words out. I was a higher tier backer of the Homestuck Hiveswap Kickstarter in 2013. And that haunts me to this day. To this day I will never-I will never recover from the amount of money that I spent on that when I was god-I was not a legal adult. I spoke to my mother, and I said, “Listen, I need to get this money out of my savings and I need it now.” And she was like, “Are you sure you wanna do that?” and I said, “Yes please.” and then she let me do it. And I respect that she gave me that freedom but I wish that she had just told me no.

Z: That's fair.

E: It was not worth it, and the worst part. It's been like a long time. I still have not played that game.

Z: That's just how the cookie crumbles.

E: Yeah.

Z: Dumbest purchase, my mind just scrambled. Because me and Em just shared a very panicked glance at one another before this story was told and it just jumbled everything I had lined up. I make very-

E: I'm like sweaty.

Z: (laughs)

E: That really stressed me out that I had to admit that. Feel my hand.

Z: Oh, you're clammy!

E: I am disgusting right now.

Z: You're a whole seafood buffet with them clammy hands.

E: I am.

Z: Oh my god. What was the question? Dumbest purchase. I don't know man. I make a lot of dumb purchases. I'm probably, most recently, I'm going to say my book drug dealer.

E: Oh yeah.

Z: Robert. I feel, like I feel obligated at this point to meet up with this man to buy antique books and some of them aren't really the best.

E: But still it's a cool hook-up.

Z: Yeah, I buy them anyway. So, the last time I saw this man, I bought this falling apart copy of Orwell or something.

E: That's pretty dope though.

Z: I mean it's cool, it's got a bunch of his novels and shit. It was pretty cool, but it not in the condition that he said it was in.

E: Aw, that sad.

Z: It's fine. Sorry Robert if you are listening. I'm just going to say that because literally my coworkers put me on a Facebook Marketplace timeout, and I wasn't allowed to buy from Facebook Marketplace.

E: I didn't know about that, oh my god.

Z: They were like, you have to take off two weeks. And I was like, “Fine, that's fine, we get paid in two weeks it's fine.” So, I'm just gonna say that. (laughs)

E: Oh wow.

Z: Question number 9 is what is the longest you have gone without sleep and why? I know mine.

E: Oh man.

Z: I know mine.

E: I mean, the why really for me is-it's one of two answers. College or the pandemic. And I'm leaning more towards the pandemic because I was basically only sleeping like once every other night. Over when I got furloughed from my job last spring. I remember a couple of times I was like, “I'm gonna start a craft project!” and was just cracked out on Monster Energy at 6:00 in the morning, ironing patches onto a denim jacket and shaking my ass to Glass Animals. But yeah, I wanna say the longest amount of time was like three days, but I know you got me beat, I think.

Z: You know mine.

E: Do I?

Z: You know mine. When I was in high school and I watched Men in Black.

E: Yeahhhh.

Z: So I didn't watch Men in Black when I was a child. Probably watched the first one when I was in high school and then I watched the second one, and then there's that whole subplot that there's a universe wrapped around a cat's collar or whatever.

E: It's in his little tag.

Z: It sent me down a rabbit hole. I did not sleep for four days because I was deep in infinite space theory because I just drove myself crazy. Because I was like, “If a cat collar can hold a universe, what if we're the universe inside the cat collar? Which I feel like was the entire point. But it drove me up the walls. I couldn't sleep, I just stayed up for four days straight in front of my computer just googling infinite space theory, and learning more and digging into it, and then I crashed, obviously after four days, and I woke up and was like, “Never again.”

E: Well.

Z: So.

E: I bought a book not long ago, it's called Time Warps. And I opened it and the first two pages this guy starts talking about time travel and the secrets of the universe and everything and reincarnation and physics are all connected and that really reminded me of that. So, maybe I'll read you a little passage of that after this and see if it-

Z: I can't wait.

E:..jogs anything in your brain.

Z: I'll see ya next week and I will still be awake.

E: (laughs) Oh my god.

Z: Last question, who is the most intelligent

person you know?

E: Brownie.

Z: Where is he?

E: He just walked right behind you.

Z: Oh.

E: He's not a person. He's very smart.

Z: That's a tough question.

E: Yeah, that is a really tough question.

Z: I'm gonna say it's our assistant Becky.

E: Yeah, yeah. Trisha, she really, she's probably. What even is her IQ it's gotta be in the 170s?

Z: It's probably at least a thousand.

E: The smartest person that I know of is Mr. Bean. I genuinely can't believe he has an IQ that high. Not anything against that man, I don't know him personally, but the fact that that is the kind of movie that he makes.

Z: Oh my god, and apparently there's only like 12 episodes of that show.

E: 13 I think.

Z: Yeah, so he really stretched it out.

E: Yeah.

Z: I don't know. Welp.

E: Well yeah.

Z: Thank you to Veronica for all those icebreaker questions. Really eye opening.

E: It was great. You really did the damn thing.

Z: Well. I guess that now everyone knows our deepest darkest secrets since we exposed them in episode one, I guess we can kind of get into our topics a little bit?

E: Yeah.

Z: So I feel as if you're gonna go hard.

E: Perhaps, perhaps.

Z: So if you don't mind I'm gonna go first.

E: Okay.

Z: I'm not gonna go as hard as I could. With mine, mostly just because I wanna leave it open for a return, if I want to cover it again maybe later on. My first topic is going to be about the Roundhouse that exists in Tellico Plains, TN.

E: Nice.

Z: Fairly local, kind of close to us for the most part. Here's the issue with this, is that it was a silo for a local mining company and dating back to even before the civil war, this thing was operational. So there's a lot of stuff that has gone on-

E:Okay.

Z:...in this big old building. Another problem is that there's not a plot of information online.

E: Yeah, that was a problem I ran into mine too actually.

Z: Unfortunately, the person who posted this, the beginning of this is going to be a lot from Reddit.

E: Oh, okay.

Z: The person who posted this is a local urban explorer. I've seen some of their stuff, all of their stuff is really cool, their photographs are amazing. They do posts on Facebook and stuff here and there. All of their stuff is really well researched and really good, but I don't want to set a trend of making Reddit a, you know.

E: For sure, it's not like a primary source. So do you want to-did you make note of who that person was though.

Z: Yeah, the post that was made thearcherofred on Reddit. That is their username. When we post all of our sources I will give a link to this specific person I am talking about.

E: Excellant.

Z: Yeah, that's the problem I ran into and I guess that's probably why I didn't get as into it. Mostly because I wanted to leave it open so I could share a little bit about my own experience when I went.

E: Cool, okay.

Z: I am going to give a little bit of a backstory about the area, the place, what all happened. Like I said this was a post made by thearcherofred on Reddit, all one word. About 30 years after the Civil War, Southern Slate Works purchased the land where the Roundhouse exists now. This land before used the be part of the Tellico Iron Works Company. The Iron Works Company basically mined iron and other ores during the Civil War. It was demolished during the war, and really from what I can tell, nothing really happened in this area where the Roundhouse exists now up until it was purchased on December 7th of 1893.

E: Okay.

Z: In June of 1920, J.B. Preston bought 300 acres of land from another citizen of Tellico named Cyril Herford with the intent to mine the area. It is unknown if this was part of the Southern Slate Company or a solo kind of gig. Preston had plans of making a fully working mine complete with machinery, houses for the mine workers, storage facilities, and other stuff you'd need to run a mine. He also was-he was also given permission to construct a railroad system to the mine and the quarry was set to open on January 1st 1921. He then leased this area out to Tennessee Rocks Products Company and it was operational from 1921-1928. In '22 Cyril then sued the rock company because some of the debris had gotten into the creek that ran through his property and it polluted the water. There was another lawsuit that same year against the rock company. This lawsuit came from a local farmer named Henry Fritts. He was suing for very similar reasons as Herford, because the dust coming from the mines and quarry had killed crops and vegetation. That lawsuit was settled for 600-I'm assuming there's no information about the 1st lawsuit, because there was no information on this post about it. From what I can tell, nothing really happened after that, company shut down until 1928-er shut down in 1928, that is until the mid to late 50s.

E: Okay, that's kind of a long time.

Z: Yeah, it's a minute. At this point, a man named Dr. William Alfred Rogers purchased the property in the 50s, and he was a local practicing doctor. A little bit about Mr. Rogers, he was born in Violet, NC. During the late 50s he was one of 6 doctors that lived in the Tellico Plains area during that time. He had a small stone house, that stood in downtown but eventually he built a large three story home on Unicoi Mountain.

E: Oh, okay.

Z: He thought that the high altitude would help his more chronic patients, so that's why he wanted his house to be so far up in the mountains. Rodgers and his wife ran the practice out of their home for about six years before the couple had the idea of turning the silo into a hotel/Air BnB. Not Air BnB. Sorry, that's the Gen Z in me speaking. Just a B&B. Just a normal B&B.

E: A 1950s Air BnB.

Z: Beautiful, ahead of their time, truly.

E: You get a telegraph after and they're like, “How was your stay? Please rate us.”

Z: God. So he essentially divided the space inside the silo into multiple floors and created small apartment like rooms on each story. Supposedly, right when it was set to open, a fire marshal came to inspect it and it was deemed unsafe as there needed to be two clear exits from each room, but there was only one considering that it's a large tall vertical-

E: It's just a tube.

Z: It's literally, quite literally a tube. I will. I will post some pictures and some links to some pictures so you can kind of see. But truly, it's an old silo, it's a big stone, round silo. Cylinder, and on the outside there's a staircase that leads into the first floor but there's essentially just a round staircase that-

E: It's like a fire escape.

Z: It just wraps around the outside of it and that's how you would go up there and get into your little hotel room or whatever. The fire marshal said it was no good so they couldn't really open it as a hotel.

E: So did it ever have guests like that? Or did he just kind of kill that immediately?

Z: It's hard to really pin down what really happened after that. Some sites claim that Mr. Rogers and his moved into the Roundhouse after this and they continued the practice there. Other sites claim that they went back to the house at Unicoi and ran the practice out of it. I also read somewhere, and I couldn't really pin it down again, now that I started doing the research on it again but there were some rumors about someone running a restaurant out of it.

E: I think I've heard that one actually.

Z: And it was just on the first floor, it wasn't on any of the other floors, I think there's 5 stories in that thing. I couldn't really find that again, so I don't really have any information on it. The doctor passed away 10 years after this ordeal in '67, and it has just kinda sat dormant since then, aside from the possible restaurant owner being in there, but there's not really a whole lot to go off of on that route. Unfortunately as of now, the inside of the roundhouse has been completely destroyed by vandals. The walls are covered in graffiti and there was a house that was right next to it, and again, I can't really pinpoint what that was really for. I would assume that it was probably just another house that was-

E: Yeah, I heard from somewhere that that was something to do with the hotel aspect of it.

Z: Sure, I mean. I wouldn't doubt it, but that house is all but rotted to the ground. I've been inside, and the floor is rotted to the ground. There's no foundation, there was also a large fire that happened inside the roundhouse. Can't really pinpoint a date or time. Because it sat, it was just out in the middle of nowhere.

E: Not necessarily keeping track or reporting that to-

Z: Right.

E:...anyone.

Z: It basically made everything from the bottom floor to the top floor inaccessible. I've been on the top floor. Probably wasn't that smart of a move.

E: Prolly not.

Z: I was like 17, and you're invincible at 17, nothing matters. We went up there and just kind of hung around, and I'll talk about that in a second. But that basically made all the other floors inbetween inaccessible. That's really, literally all I could find online about it. I definitely have tried to join the local library to get some book sources or something about it, but I'm currently fighting with our local library. It's so shrouded in mystery that no one really knows what's going on in there. We've got a couple reports about the lawsuits and the early 20s. Nothing until the 50s, and then this random guy wants to build a hotel there, and someone says no and it just sits there again.

E: Do you know-I know when we first started doing the research, we were talking about how it was for sale. Do you know if it still is or did it get bought?

Z: I looked at it yesterday before I was putting the finishing touches on everything. It is currently off the market, it was not sold, but it is off the market. It was going for upwards of like $500,000.

E: I would love to buy it.

Z: Same I would also-Subway?!

E: Subway sponsor us!!

Z: Please.

E: Subway just buy us The Roundhouse.

Z: We will put a Subway in the bottom floor.

E: (laughs) Like the food court in a mall.

Z: Truly. That's all the information that I have on it.

E: Well tell us your story.

Z: Well, when I was like 17/18, I worked at a local grocery store and one of my cashiers, the current at the time, the caretaker now is a new guy, but at the time she was friends with-the caretaker was a family friend. And she basically reached out to him and was like, “Hey we wanna explore after work one night. Do you think it would be cool if we went up there?” And he was like, “Yeah, sure no problem, let me know and I'll leave the gate unlocked for you guys.”

E: Cool.

Z: We went up there after work and it was probably like 10/11 o'clock and we were just gonna check it out and then leave, but I was just very curious and very fascinated so we went into the first floor and I will try to dig up photos because I took photos. The test of time has not been kind to them-

E: Absolutely not.

Z:...with phones and just everything, I think they're on my twitter somewhere so I have to really dig and find them, but like I said, the first floor there was a fire. You can look up and see the damage has been done to this place. It's covered in graffiti. We kind of poked around a little bit, there's not really much to see. There's old appliances, wood here and there, debris, vandalism, that sort of thing. We found the beginning of the staircase that leads up around the side of the Roundhouse and we climbed up to inspect it, about halfway up, it's broken-

E: Yeah that was-

Z: Very teetery.

E: Yeah.

Z: Once you get over that step it's solid again, bolted into the side of that wall or whatever, and you just keep on trucking. We went up to the top and we sat down on the floor up there, we pulled out a Ouija board.

E: Oh my god Zack.

Z: (laughs) Not my finest moment.

E: (laughs)

Z: It wasn't even a good Ouija board, it was obviously, very much produced by Hasbro, and it had the glow in the dark light in it, to where if you pushed down on the planchette it would glow.

E: Oh my god.

Z: Obviously, we got nothing because nothing happened in that building.

E: I can't believe it.

Z: Then we went back down the stairs and then we went into the house that's next to it. Like I said, there was very few places where I was comfortable standing. Floors rotted, walls punched in, knocked in, burned. We were able to go up-there's an attic.

E: Oh really?

Z: Yeah, there's an attic in there. I wasn't able to go-I didn't go up in it because I didn't really trust it. I stood at the top of the staircase and peered in a took a picture or two.

E: Cool, I never knew that.

Z: Then, we discovered a basement.

E: Oh god! Under that same house?

Z: Yeah. Here's the deal. You didn't know this did you? About the basement?

E:About the basement, no.

Z: So there's a basement, and the stairs have rotted off, so you kinda had to hop in that hole and-

E: Love it.

Z: We got down there, and it was trash.

E: Yeah.

Z: Broken glass, beer bottles, cans, old screen doors, anything that you could think of, old appliances everything, underneath that house. Then I saw a little filter of light off in the distance, so I was like, I'm gonna go in that direction. There was a tunnel.

E: I know you were going to say a tunnel and I was so afraid.

Z: A tunnel that lead directly underneath the roundhouse.

E: Bro!

Z: It's crazy.

E: That's really cool. Very scary.

Z: Very scary. I was like, “This is some-,” have you every seen House of Wax?

E: No but I think I know what you're talking about.

Z: Very House of Wax. Secret-

E: Like trap doors and stuff.

Z: Was not a fan. So then after that we kinda booked it outta there. 'Cause I was like, “Who's idea was it, to build a tunnel-,” I don't even want to know. I'm sure there was a reason.

E: I wonder if was with the intent of it being a hotel, if it was a service hallway or something like that?

Z: I mean, has to be. Has to be. Otherwise-

E: It's the only non-creepy answer.

Z: It's what's gonna let me sleep at night.

E: Oof.

Z: After that we kinda hightailed it out. I have since reached out to that cashier, and obviously neither of us work there anymore. I've since reached out, and asked if she knew who the current caretaker was and unfortunately that caretaker had passed away. There's currently a new one.

E: I wonder if that was the guy I met that gave us a dog biscuit.

Z: Might've been if he was nice.

E: He was just a nice old man.

Z: I never met him, but I'm assuming if he let a group of teenagers go wild out at the Roundhouse he probably didn't care and was a nice guy.

E: That's sad.

Z: Like I said a minute ago, it's not on the market, but when it does come on the market, I will be very eager to see if it sells this time. Hopefully, to me.

E: Maybe by then we'll get some sponsorship cash.

Z: Olive Garden please.

E: Can I trade an unlimited pasta pass for this house?

Z: Truly.

E: It's worth it's weight in gold.

Z: Truly, 'cause you think about it. We go to Olive Garden three times a day, lunch, dinner, second dinner. We don't eat breakfast anymore.

E: Oh my god, well I don't eat breakfast to begin with. Who has time for that nonsense?

Z: I do, but only because I'm at work.

E: Eating a banana. You're being very healthy.

Z: I'm eating a banana, having a monster.

E: Alright, well.

Z: Well, that's it for the Roundhouse. Like I said, thearcherofred on Reddit, thank you so much for that post. They're a couple more that they have made about the Roundhouse. I've only used the one, so feel free to look into it yourself. I'll be posting a couple links to some pictures, and hopefully I will be able to find the pictures that I took when I went. We'll post all those.

E: Thank you very much for that story. Today-

Z: Please, go off.

E:...I'm very excited about this story, because this is a story that has fascinated me literally since my childhood. I remember my teacher telling me about it when I was in, I wanna say 5th grade. Then, it turned out that there was a book about this guy, and I had the book because it was my dad's copy, and that's actually the copy that I used today for all my research. I am about to tell you the story of Mason Kershaw Evans-

Z: Yeeesss!

E:...the Hermit of Chilhowee Mountain.

Z: Yes.

E: Basically, my sources-I did have a couple, just for a little bit of fleshing out about the area and a couple facts about the specific region, but everything about Mason himself came from the book. As I discovered, the man doesn't even have a Wikipedia page.

Z: Right.

E: Which isn't really that surprising to me. 'Cause the area that he was from was a very tiny place, it was in the early 19th century. There wasn't a whole lot.

Z: Right.

E: So, let's get into it! Our story takes place in the area surrounding Chilhowee Mountain, which is more commonly known today as Star Mountain, but it was named that because of a plantation owner named Caleb Star, who back in the day, he basically owned the entire mountain. Chilhowee Mountain is located partly in the southwest corner of Monroe County, TN and in Polk County. It is in the Cherokee National Forest. The flat, plateau like mountain is about halfway between Tellico Plains and Etowah and it's elevation ranges from 750 to 2,290 ft. This mountain was a favorite hunting ground for deer. So that's actually how it got it's name, because Chilhowee means cold deer in Cherokee. During the 19th century, this area was the home to Mason Evans. As I said before, it's kind of hard to find anything about him on the internet, he doesn't have a Wikipedia page, so everything I know about him I pulled from this book, Torment in the Knobs by R. Frank. McKinney. To quote the book, “This book was written give it's readers the highlights of the main events from the early advent of the early white settlers in the area during the early 20s, during the Hiwassee purchase of 1817, the removal of the Indians in 1838, the great American Conflict, The Civil War of the 60s, the building and operation the fabulous White Springs Hotel atop Star Mountain, the coming of the railroads into McMinn County, and many other events of that century. So it's not just about Mason's life, it kind of encapsulates basically everything that was going on in this area at the time. Because there was a lot of stuff going on, there was a lot of conflict, it was the time of the Civil War. It was a lot. It is a very interesting read, it's one of the more detailed accounts of this area, however, it's not without it's flaws. It was published in 1976. R. Frank McKinney was an old white man living in a very rural area of the south. He had some prejudices. I'm not really going to talk about that a whole lot, but if you do decide to-if this story does interest you and you do decide to get a copy of this book and read it, just go into it knowing that. There is also a lot of dramatization and speculation. That is explained by, another quote from the book that said, “Torment in the Knobs is a historical novel but throughout the author was at many times forced to draw his own conclusions to what was said in the conversations or dialogues between the people. This he believed was actually said, but not verified. The pages of the book are mostly written in the newspaper reporting style, but not all in together for into the phraseology of fiction writers. In many places, it combines the two. There would have been no need to write this book, Torment in the Knobs had there been a printed history of the east side of McMinn County and the lower regions of Monroe during the 19th century. What little had been printed in the newspapers and periodicals was wildly scattered and never compiled into a comprehensive history of the area. This book is not intended to be a history of either McMinn or Monroe counties, although the events mentioned took place in one or the other. The book was inspired by this pamphlet and was written in 1890 by W. F. McCarron, who was the founder and editor of The Athenian newspaper. The pamphlet was called-this is a hell of a title. I thought The Abandoment Issues was kind of a long name. This pamphlet was titled The Wild Man of Chilhowee: the True Story of Mason Evans the Hermit, 40 Years in the Wilderness, the Most Wonderful Creature of Modern Times Lives in a Cave in this County, Subsists on Raw Meats and Stolen Food. That's the whole ass title of a pamphlet.

Z: A pam-that's the whole pamphlet!

E: Yeah, literally. The book also says the great many people thought was a legend was unfolded as fact as 90 years later when a house in east Etowah was being raised to the ground. An 1890 issue of The Athenian was found in a chimney and brought to me, the author R. Frank Mckinney, who was then the editor of The Etowah Enterprise. Mickinney also did extensive research and interviews with local folks who's parents and grandparents has either met Mason, or had seen them visit their homesteads. Okay, so, there's this hermit..

Z: (laughs) I was waiting for it! Oh my god.

E: So there's this hermit..R. Frank Mckinney is the king of the fucking run-on sentence. This man could ramble. I think he's dead now? Probably. He had a lot to say, and not a whole lot of punctuation to put in it.

Z: He had a lot to say and no comma, period, comma splice was gonna get in his way.

E: Lots of question marks though. That is evidenced by his introduction to the story of what happened to Mason Evans. He said, “What happens to a man when his sweetheart suddenly jilts him? Does he take it in stride, or does his brain snap and he resort to unearthly things? What really did happen that day in 1848 in that little school house in Monroe County, TN, that caused a brilliant teacher to suddenly walk out of the school room, head to the mountains, never to say another intelligent word? And live there on snakes, rabbits, or other raw meat and whatever he could forage from mountaineers' chicken houses or gardens, and for forty years? Let's find out.

Z: Let's. Find. Out.

E: Mason was born May 10, 1824 in a log cabin at the base of the Chilhowee Mountain. At the time, the Chilhowee Mountain region was occupied primarily by the Cherokee Trible of the Native Americans. The capital of their nation, Chota, was only a few miles from the Evans's home. Mason's parents were names Robert, I'm sorry if I pronounce this wrong, I believe it's Hebrew. Her name is Karen-Happuch. That is K A R E N – H A P P U C H. I think Karen-Happuch.

Z: Okay.

E: I'm not sure though. They immigrated to Greene county in 1820, but they moved to Monroe after the Hiwassee purchase of 1817. The Evans' family was of Quaker faith, and their family consisted of Robert and Karen-Happuch, and their four boys and five girls: Moses, Robert, Mason, Samuel, Abigail, Sophia, Demaris, Caroline, and Octavia. Don't you just love that name? I love an Octavia.

Z: It's so out of left field though.

E: It is. I wonder-is that like a biblical name?

Z: I don't think so.

E: I've never thought of it as such but maybe it is.

Z: I don't think so, but go off, Imma google.

E: Mason was said to be the most talented of those children. I don't know how I'd feel about that as a Sophia or an Octavia in that family. Mason-that's kinda not fair, you don't get to be the best. Anyway, art seemed to come naturally to him. His penmanship was the talk of the settlement. Men in the region would commonly come to him to solve medical problems. In his youth, Mason was good friends with many of the Cherokee children of his age. He was 14 when the Native American Removal began, and it impacted him for the rest of his life. I mentioned Caleb Starr before, he's the one that lived on this mountain and basically gave it its current name. I had never heard anyone call it Chilhowee, fun fact, until recently. One of his son's named James was very active in Cherokee politics and he actually worked to negotiate the treaty that would result in the Trail of Tears.

Z: Ah.

E: Because of his native ancestry, eventually forced him and his own family to leave home and move westward, and he was accused-rightfully fucking so-of selling out the Natives to the white man. Eventually he was killed because of this. James, come the fuck on, what did you expect?

Z: Truly. Hello? Okay.

E: I don't want to make light of that obviously, because it was this horrible thing. At one point I had the numbers written down here, but I must have moved them. Thousands and thousands of people lost their lives on the Trail of Tears and this man basically was just-

Z: Didn't help!

E: Yeah, I don't know what he was-what he thought was going to happen. His whole family had to leave and give up their land. Hundreds of other families had to, too. Caleb Starr, as I said was a slave plantation owner and he had many 100 slaves. This is another really grim part of the story, because the way it is written, it kind of makes it sounds very praisy? They basically kind of put him on a pedestal a little bit, and they talk about about how-they talk about how much the people Caleb Starr literally bought and sold adored him and how much pride they took in their work they took for him. It is said when he left on the Trail of Tears some grieved themselves to death and were buried alongside the waters of Conasauga Creek. And that may have been true, they were grief stricken but it really grossed me out that a book written in like the 20th century was like, “Yes, this man was great, he owned 100s of people.”

Z: Yeah.

E: Anyways, but that's just-I only included that to highlight the way that it is kind of a biased telling of the story, but again it was pretty much the only source I had. Within a year the treaty was signed and the removal began in 1838. What at one time had been 50,000 square miles of native territory were reduced to only a few hundred. Until he saw them driven from their homes to an unwanted territory in the west, Mason Evans pleaded the case of the white settlers. After 1838, he formed a different opinion but kept it to himself, is what the book says.

Z: Okay.

E: I would imagine that was a pretty traumatic experience. Having all these friends and then seeing them be forced to move away.

Z: Right, yeah.

E: Anyways, so Mason went on to become a captain of a militia commissioned as such by the governor in 1841. He was 17 years old. Then, in his adulthood, instead of-I think he was supposed to go on to be a general or something. Initially thought he would have a career with the military, but he was so smart we would really rather you be a teacher, so he accepted a job as a teacher at a local school. Now we get into 'The Heartbreak' is what I have titled this chapter.

Z: Yay.

E: Essentially, the cause that is attributed to Mason deciding to go off into the wilderness forever is that he had his heart broken by his sweetheart. No one knows her true identity. What is known about her, is that she was the daughter of a prominent doctor in the area. “She was the apple of his eye, an only child whom he love more than life.No one would say, nor was it in print who the prominent doctor was, or what was his daughter's name. Was it because people wanted to protect the girl? Or was it because the doctor was so influential in Monroe County, that no one would even think to breathe a scandal such as the Mason Kershaw Evans affair.” It's all written very dramatically.

Z: Right.

E: Like a tabloid, but she was a co-teacher with Mason at the same school. They spent a lot of time together in the schoolhouse, but they would also go out together and roam around in the forest. They would ride their horses together. Mason would paint pictures for her, and draw for her. They just had a great time together. When he proposed to her, and she accepted. Mason didn't really wanna tell anybody, but she insisted that she had to tell her daughter, and he was like, “Okay, well, you tell your father, and I'll tell my mother and that'll be the only people that we tell.” Earlier, before we got started this was one of those where you could tell I was getting tired of their bullshit and just tired in general. Despite her anonymity, the author of the book gave her a name, that I quite honestly to be fucking hilarious. Dawn O'Day, and I put here, “Like bitch what is she, a leprechaun?”

E&Z: (laughs)

E: The whole that there was, there's this very dramatic story of her birth because Mason's mom a midwife, and though her father was a doctor, he decided it was bad luck to deliver your own baby, so he called for Mason's mother because she was an experienced midwife, and she was actually pregnant with Mason at the time. He and Dawn are only a few months apart in age, so she was born at the brink of day, and so the author was like, her name is Dawn O'Day.

Z: Oh-

E: Yeah

Z:...my god. What's his name again? The author?

E: R. Frank McKinney.

Z: R. Frankly, I don't like it.

E: (laughs) As I said, Mason's mother was the midwife who delivered his eventual sweetheart. What?

Z: Another thing.

E: What?

Z: I wouldn't care about bad luck. Well, I guess this was a different time period. But-

E: Yeah.

Z:...just, it's free. Just have the baby, you ain't gotta worry about it.

E: That's free real estate.

Z: That's free real estate, truly, but I mean, as soon as I said it, I was like “They didn't really have hospital bills.” But!

E: Well here's the thing that bothers me too about this whole debacle in the-I had a lot more of this whole birth scene when I initially was doing my notes because it was just. It's so hard to tell what of this was actually true, and what of it was speculation because everything seems like it was speculation the way that it was written.

Z: Right.

E: Basically there's this whole scene Dawn's mother is obviously in distress, she's in labor, she's in pain, and he just fucking backhands her and tells her to quiet down, and then she dies. Yeah, she fucking dies. She dies in childbirth. Okay first of all, he smacked the hell out of her, she falls back quote, “whimpering onto the pillow,” he drugs her to keep her calmer, and when she does deliver the baby, she dies. And he's like “Oh my god, my wife died, and I slapped her.” Like no shit. First, you shouldn't be slapping your wife in the first place, what the hell? That really-I'm sorry I just got real loud.

Z: No you're fine, speechless.

E: Oh, it frustrated the hell out of me. I could really go on about this book. He slaps the mother of his child, until she literally falls back on the bed, she dies, and that is part of why he was so protective of his daughter. Ironically, in turn, when Mason was born the doctor was the one that they called on to deliver him. This family structure, this community, they're all very tight nit, it's a very small place, they all know each other. As they got older, Dawn was very drawn to Mason because of his skills in the arts. She quickly became friends with him. She was allowed to spend some of her free time hanging out with Mason, but her father said, “Mason Evans is a bright chap, but I just don't have any use for soldiers.” It was speculated that he felt this way because he maybe had something in his past that made him kind of resent the military. A lot of people in this story in particular were draft dodgers for the Revolutionary War, which is a really weird thing to think about.

Z: 100%

E: I don't know why, I never really thought about the Revoutionary War having been-having had a draft. I guess that makes sense?

Z: Yeah.

E: It's possible that that's why he felt that way. He in general was very possessive and protective of his daughter. So she never really brought up the topic of her having any sort of affection for Mason until he proposed to her, and she said, “Well, I have to tell my dad.” She went home, and when she told him that she had intended to marry Mason, they had this massive argument and he forbade her to marry him. As incentive for her to not marry him, he promised her the farm and $1,000.00 in gold if she would turn Mason down. Now, I didn't google how much $1000.00 would have been in 1820 whatever, actually no that was later. I think this is like 1840. This is also one, in your story you had said there aren't a lot of really exact dates. There are very few exact dates in this too. Basically, I have his birth date and his death date and anything pertaining to the Civil War that was recorded by the government, but nothing specific in between. So, he promised her the farm and $1000.00 in gold, and he said, “Compare that to tending babies, scrubbing floors, tilling the ground, never having money of your own, your own husband being gone from home, soldiering, leaving you with all the chores to do. If you're in your right mind, you'll never do it.” And I have here, which, this guy was a raging shithead, but he did make some valid points. I would take that money.

Z: (whispers) Same. And a farm?!

E: A farm?! Yes.

Z: Cottagecore!

E: Yes, exactly.

Z: I don't mean to scream.

E: It's fine. That's how you feel about cottagecore.

Z: I love it, I love it.

E: Dawn didn't go to school the following morning. Mason received a note from her father's gardener, informing him that she would not be in school that day, and her students were to be sent home and return the day following. Mason accepted that, but he was acting very strangely after that. He was very anxious, and his students were taking notice. “At times he would lose his train of thought, stop his teaching, stare into space, and after a moment of silence, would again gain his pupils attention by frequently running his fingers through his hair, laughing foolishly, and whispering to himself.” Students feared that he had been bewitched because they had seen him act similarly at religious camp meetings, writhing, wringing his hands and crying. There's another quote here, “This was the first time anything had happened to him since the time he fell sick at his brother's home in Mississippi several years back.” He had gotten really ill. I don't think they ever said exactly what he had, but he had a very high fever. This is kind of where they think things started to really effect him, because he was kind of-It was a a high enough fever to where it was starting to effect his brain function, and they think that that may have permanently damaged his brain. His brother had actually said he had congestion of the brain, but Mason said, “But I wasn't crazy.” This is another-basically, any quote that I'm gonna say is certainly written by R. Frank McKinney, not by the actual people that said them. It says, “But I wasn't crazy, it was the high fever that caused me to go out of my mind,” he rationalized with himself. Mason had studied enough medicine to know something about fever. If he hadn't became a teacher, he would certainly have became a doctor, as he had said many times before. He wrote all of this behavior off of his anxiety and he told himself that he would see Dawn after class. The gardener came back, and brought him another note, telling him not to leave until Dawn showed up. Which I think is kind of funny, because why send this poor man to the schoolhouse, when you could have just said “She ain't coming to school today, also Mason, hang out for a little bit after.”

Z: Yeah.

E: Put it in the same note!

Z: Yeah.

E: I digress. So Dawn comes up, and they have this fight, she breaks it off with him. She basically does that whole thing of, even though she didn't actually hate him, she played it up like she really hated him, just to make it a cleaner break, which I get, I guess.

Z: Been there.

E: Yeah, it happens. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but that's what happened. He was devastated, and he got on his horse and he rode away into the forest to be alone. After that, he eventually went home, but Mason didn't come inside to get his food like he always did. His mom looked outside and she saw him run into the barn, grab a coat of a hook, and run back into the woods, leaving his horse behind. She said to his brother Milton, “Mason's gone off without his supper, wonder where he's headed for?” Milton replied, “To Panther Cave, I guess.” That's where he's gone a lot lately to write poetry and compose songs for that female school teacher. He said that Panther Cave is the quietest place in the Knobbs for when you wanna meditate.” Now what we'll learn here is that Mason is a douche. Oh, not Mason, sorry, Milton. Milton very much hated this girl. He, the whole time is portrayed as just thinking she has the worst of intentions. He literally calls her a witch at one point. That's another thing about this, all the exaggeration I've talked about before, instead of portraying as what I believe it to be, and what I think most people that would read this in modern times to believe, is that Mason was sick, he had some underlying illness and his behaviors after this point were possibly inflamed by trauma. To me it all reads as very much this man had undiagnosed mental illness in the 1840s. However, they demonize the shit out of Ms. Dawn O'Day.

Z: Great.

E: Constantly talking about Mason is wandering around in the woods just thinking about how he misses her, thinking about how she destroyed his life. Milton is constantly quoted as saying she ruined everything for him, and destroyed his future. It's fucked. Literally, all she did was break up with him.

Z: Right.

E: That really is another beef I have with this book. Panther Cave. Panther Cave is this cave on the western side of Chilhowee Mountain that was as the name implies known for being a hiding place for panthers and it became Mason's primary hide out in the years following this event. His family went looking for him there after he ran away, but they didn't find him because he had already left, and he was on his way back to the house. That evening, they heard someone in the barn and they thought that someone had broken in. When his father went in to investigate, he found Mason sitting on the floor in his horse's stall hugging his legs. Which, they say, this is a great horse, but I would not wanna be down there.

Z: No.

E: A horse could kill you straight up with one kick.

Z: Oh yeah.

E: Not the point.

Z: Mason's crying, he's sitting on the floor hugging his horses legs. He keeps repeating to his family, “I had to see my horse, I had to see my horse, he's the only one that would understand me.” And same, Mason I get it. Listen I understand you. I was a horse kid, okay? My mom still has horses. They're good animals. You still coulda got kicked in the head. His family convinced him to stay and have a meal with them. His mother told him to sit down at the table but he wouldn't. “Instead he began pacing the floor with bodily agitations and jerks. He ran his hands through his hair, jerking his head back and forth, then letting his body fall on the floor, writhing as if in extreme pain. Robert and Milton tried to get him off the floor but he fought them off. Finally, Mason righted himself, began to sing in words never heard before, singing most melodiously, not from the mouth or nose, but but entirely from the breast. I don't-that still boggles my mind, I have no idea. He would run from one end of the kitchen to the other and back again, often barking and grunting with each stroke of his head. His family basically thought what was happening to him was “a spell,” similar to behavior that they had seen people exhibit at Methodist camp meetings. Such as like speaking in tongues, that kinda thing. Mason was obviously in distress and they didn't know what to do. One of his parents said, “Mason's just like the man in the Bible that was possessed by demons, full of unclean spirits, until Jesus sent them into a heard of swine. But what could have caused such a thing? That was another point in which Milton was like, “It's all that woman's fault.” called her a witch. Like I said, they didn't have any idea what was happening because they had no understanding of mental illness or any kind of brain injury, knowledge or anything like that.

Z: Right.

E: So they just tried to make him comfortable and placate him. They finally fed him, and it said, “Mason ate his meal ravenously, with his hands rather than any other utensils. He ate everything they put in front of him and downed two quarts of coffee.” Which sounds like a great day. I would love for that to be me.

Z: Same.

E: I wanna do that.

Z: Same.

E: They tried to convince him to explain what had happened, but he jumped up from the table, grabbed a knapsack from a hook on the wall, and ran back into the woods. His brother Milton was a medical student and he insisted that one day he would become a doctor and he would fix Mason's problems. We're gonna time skip a little bit.

Z: Sure.

E: In July of 1850, there was a 10 day stretch of near constant rain. It brought widespread flooding to the region. Many people were forced out of their homes, and dead animals, human waste, and debris were washing up in massive quantities on the farmland. I feel like I should specify, in this area where this is all taking place. It's a lot of flood planes between mountains, so when it rains, even now, it's really easily flooded. Ten straight days of rain is bad. It was very bad. Mason, at this point, had been living in the wilderness about two years. His father had sold off his horse because Mason wasn't around to care for him. He gave him the money from the sale, he was paid $100.00, and he told Mason that he needed to take it and use it, but Mason didn't want it. He put it in his backpack, and just let this $100 bill get shredded up in his backpack.

Z: Mason.

E: Yeah. He didn't have any use for money, he was out in the woods-

Z: Fair.

E:...and at this point he had become an expert at chicken snatching, taking food from gardens in the middle of the night, anything that he could find, he could eat. He was an expert forager, he knew all the berries and roots and stuff he could eat. He did eat all his meat raw, but he didn't really have anything to cook with in a cave.

Z: You gotta do whatcha gotta do.

E: Yeah, although it's not like he didn't know how to light a fire, it's just he apparently didn't cook his food. That didn't kill him, so I guess it's okay. Disclaimer, if you're listening to this, and you're considering the Mason Evans Diet, don't.

Z: Don't.

E: Don't. Cook your chicken thoroughly. At this point, he'd lived out there for two years. Dogs would bark and chase him up trees and hunters had to come and call them off to rescue him, because they would tree him like a bear. Overall, he was adapting to his new life. He was learning how to function out in the wilderness, but things were about to take a turn because the Evans family was victim to a lot of the flooding damage. They lived right on the banks of the creek and they had to clean up a lot after the storms. By this point, all of Mason's siblings had grown up and moved away and gotten married, so his parents were all alone to deal with this. This is topical, unfortunately, the flooding brought with it something much worse than just property damage, it brought illness. There was an epidemic of typhoid fever, and people just started dropping like flies. Entire families were dead in days. Milton had gone to Knoxville to go to medical school. He was called home, not because they were enlisting all the doctors in the region to care for people, but because both of his parents died like (snaps fingers) immediately.

Z: Jesus.

E: It was horrible. He said, “I wonder how many people thought to boil the water before drinking it.” 'Cause they wouldn't have known.

Z: Right.

E: That was a lot of what was killing people was they were drinking unclean drinking water. The Evans family all came together to make arrangements for their parents, and the question came up, “What do we do about Mason?” Milton, always the spokesman of the group, decided he was going to track his brother down, but when he did find him, he decided to just yell at him. He told him that he was disgusting and that he looked like a wild animal, that he didn't look like a person at all anymore. He told him, “If you'll come and get cleaned up you can go with me, but not before. You can't see Ma and Pa looking like that.” He was just now finding out that his parents had died, he's already traumatized by a number of other things. Mason of course, didn't want to hear it and he ran off into the woods again. He didn't do what Milton told him to do, however he did attend their funeral. He followed the procession of, there was like a wagon with matching white horses that carried their caskets. It's described in this very beautiful and flowery way that honestly, genuinely very sad, and his parents were buried at Hickory Grove Cemetery, while Mason watched from the woods. After that, this is where things are getting up into the Civil War, because we are coming up on the 1860s. At this time, the construction was finishing up on the White Cliff Springs Hotel. It is a very important location in Mason's life, in his history. The owner, Harvey McGill, and instructed Jonas and Betsy Jefferson, the couple that ran the hotel kitchen, to attend to all of Mason's needs. They would feed him, and often, Mr. McGill would come to the kitchen while Mason was there and he would talk to him and kind of give him the scoop on what was going on. I also feel like I should mention at this point, Mason basically went non-verbal. He didn't really speak very much, if at all. At lot of time in the book they describe him as kind of communicating in grunts and hand gestures, but it wasn't that he didn't understand things that people were saying to him. A lot of things in the book kind of-at the same time they're like, “yes, he was brilliant,” there was kind of this air of, “well he didn't talk anymore so he was stupid.” I just want to say, that's not how it works.

Z: Right.

E: You can be nonverbal and understand things, you know.

Z: Yeah.

E: Anyway, that's a whole other spiel for another time. So he would come in, and he would get the hot goss, and he would find out what was going on. He basically learned, at the White Cliffs Hotel, that the war was coming. He learned all about states seceding from the Union and that sort of thing. He was like, “Well, I am of the age of the draft,” he would be draft-able, so he was like, “I gotta hide.” He hunkered down Panther Cave for a little while, a long time, several months I guess? While he was still in hiding there was an accident. He decided that he was afraid of being caught by the authorities, he wasn't even gonna go to the hotel, he was just kinda gonna stockpile supplies, stay in his cave. One night while he was out foraging, he sees this light in the sky. He followed it, and the hotel was on fire. Burning to the ground. He shows up, and the fire marshal is there, and they're like, “Well, there's your fire bug,” and they basically threatened to arrest him. He is very upset, he ends up-they describe him as kind of having a fit. He started convulsing, he was very upset, he didn't know how to communicate that he hadn't been the one to do it because people were basically just accusing him already.

Z: Right.

E: Fortunately, at the same time that this was happening, this woman came forward, and was like, “My daughter knocked a candle over into a laundry basket, and that's what happened.” He was exonerated and he got up and ran away. The hotel burned to the ground. Mason went back to Panther Cave. This is another one of those points in the story where the author speculates that Mason spent much of his time lost in the memory of his ill-fated love affair.

Z: I don't think so.

E: I have here, “Like come on bro, it wasn't that serious.” After that he visited his sister Demaris and her husband Horner Coltharp, and to his surprise, he learned that his brother, Milton, had become a doctor, like he said he would. Instead of doing anything to help Mason, he filed paperwork with the court system in Monroe County to declare Mason a lunatic and subject to the confinement of a lunatic asylum. Milton also sold the land that was willed to Mason, without his consent, and basically was like, “Okay cops, go get him. Lock him up.” Very helpful. So-

Z: I don't like Milton.

E:...yeah, Milton is a shithead!

Z: Truly.

E: Demaris and Horner explained to Mason that Milton had moved away, but he had alerted local authorities to be on the lookout for him. Demaris requested that her husband build a shelter for him, where he could be supervised and he could be safe. Horner Coltharp did what he was asked. He constructed an 8x10 shanty for him, supplied him with food. They implored him not to wander off. He did, of course, try to leave to go back to the forest, and he was captured and chained to the floor. Which was great, because when people heard about this, people would come and just stare at him like he was a fucking zoo animal.

Z: Great.

E: Yeah, but there is a silver lining to this because this group of women heard what was happening to him. They were sympathetic so they came to see him and they brought him some supplies. They asked him if he could make use of a file, and he was like, “Yes, fuck yes, I can use a file. I can get out of here if I have a file.” So they baked him a loaf of bread with a file hidden in it.

Z: (gasps)

E: He was able to eat the bread, get the file out, and escape. How cool is that?

Z: I love that.

E: I know! These vigilante southern mamas are just like, “Nah this is not okay, you can't be doing this. This is a grown man, let him live his life. Let him out, here's a file, go be free!” I have so much respect for that. That's probably my favorite part of this whole story.

Z: I love that.

E: Yeah, so he escaped and he basically-he vowed never to return to his sister's property again because even though they had tried to help him, he didn't wanna get captured again. He continued to wander. He did go back occasionally and visit the White Cliff Hotel because they were constructing a second one, or rebuilding it. But he felt really uncomfortable being around there. He set up a number of outposts throughout the knobs with supplies and shelters where he could hide, should the authorities come to hunt him down again. A lot of people had complained about him raiding their gardens, and stealing their animals. The police never really caught him. Four years passed from the night of the fire and Mason showed up and he was very surprised to find that there was another hermit living there. Well, he wasn't living there, but he was a visitor, and they were treating him the way they were treating Mason, where they would feed him and give him whatever he wanted. His name is Gabriel North, and he'd had a very hard life. He had been fending for himself since childhood due to a strained relationship with his family. The book also implied that he had some mental illness as well and that that might have been effecting the way that his family treated him, so he was on his own. He did, however, have two dogs and Mason did not like dogs. When Harvey McGill was like, “I don't want you two at my hotel at the same time, I think you both should leave, go show him Panther Cave.” Mason was like “Cool, let's go,” Gabriel was like, “Okay well here's my dogs, and the dogs immediately attacked him. Immediately attacked Mason. They get into a fight, he hits the dog, because the dog is trying to attack him, and Gabriel was like “If you ever hit my dog again, you'll regret it Mason.” He kind of explained, “I have a checkered past with dogs, they do not like me,” and Gabriel basically was like, “Okay, cool that's fine. Just don't do it again,” and they became friends. But, another epidemic of illness hit the region. Yellow fever this time, and Gabriel was like, “I don't wanna be around for that. I'm afraid, I don't wanna get sick, I'm leaving.” So he left, and Mason was left alone again. That was in 1878. At this point, the book talks about what Mason had done for companionship previously. Allegedly, he had a couple of different animals for companionship. He had a rooster that he stole from a farm, like a prize rooster. This rooster and him were like BFFs. He kept it in a hollow oak tree that he called his rooster house. It road in his pocket until the action of squeezing in and out of his pocket caused it to loose all it's feathers. So he had a naked chicken that-

Z: (laughs)

E:..that was his best friend.

Z: (still laughing) I love that.

E: I know!

Z: Oh my god!

E: He also befriended a very large yellow tomcat, which followed him around for a long period of time. Now, here's the thing that's kind of icky. The rooster eventually died, and Mason ate it. Which, yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say, I get it because he, you know. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive, and he was already catching and killing chickens before that.

Z: Sure.

E: The thing that bothers me about this, is that people were very into the speculation that he ate the cat too.

Z: I was afraid you were gonna say that.

E: I don't know that that happened. That's another thing that is in there just for shock value I think.

Z: I think so too. I feel like he was smart enough to know not to eat the cat.

E: I don't know, and honestly who the hell am I to judge him if he did.

Z: I've never had cat, who knows maybe it's good.

E: Living in a cave in the woods, you forage for all your food. Honor every part of them right.

Z: Yeah...

E: I know that's kind of fucked up to say about a cat but yeah. I just thought that that was-it was just randomly tossed in there between, “Here's a story of the Civil War,” “Mason Evans may have eaten his cat.” Like what??

Z: (laughs)

E: What are you talking about??

Z: Written. Like. A. Tabloid.

E: It must have been a slow news day.

Z: Truly.

E: Anyway, we're finally winding down. In the 1880s, a lot of things began to change. Lumber became a big industry in the Monroe County area, therefore, railroad started moving in. It was also at this time, that The Athenian, the newspaper that printed the pamphlet that I mentioned in the beginning, began it's operation. The publisher was a man named Wilbur F. McCarron. McCarron had promised the people of McMinn County “a newspaper of prestige, one whose literary content would be the best in the nation. There, the people who subscribed to the newspaper could be assured of many interesting features about McMinn, Meigs, and Monroe Counties.” The funny thing about this, is that people were not about this happening because they were like, “We wanna know about politics, we don't give a shit about whatever literature you're trying to bring us.” They also didn't like him because this was in the time period where Democrats and Republicans were flipped values wise-

Z: Right.

E:...and he was a Republican, and I thought it was really funny because they were like, “We don't like republicans around here.” And I was like “Boy you better fast forward 200 years.

Z: You better buckle up!

E: That's all we got. Within a month of the publication's beginning, McCarron came to visit the White Cliff Hotel and he told Mr. McGill that he wanted to know about Mason and eventually write a piece about him. Mr. McGill basically told him that the best person to talk to would be Horner Colthrop, his brother-in-law. When he returned to Athens, McCarron immediately published a series of articles in his paper about quote, “The Wild Man of the Chilhowee.” He recounted the stories of the people who had encountered him through direct interviews. The article stirred up a lot of controversy, and on January 9, 1886, ,the sheriff captured Mason and brought him to the Athens County Jail, and yet again, his capture drew in a lot of spectators. A lot of people came to watch them, arrest him basically and put him in prison. They took his photo on the steps of the courthouse, gave him a change of clothes and sentenced him to an insane asylum in Nashville. Very, for context, Monroe County is like the bottom eastern corner of Tennessee. Nashville is 4 hours away?

Z: Yeah, like three of four.

E: Three or four hours away, so that's very far from anything he's every known. In The Athenian, Mr. McCarron wrote, “Till a short time ago, Mason Evans kept with regularity the date of his birth, the day of the week, the month, and the year, and when urged to do so, would write a few sentences and solve problems with as much exactness as the days of yore. But age is creeping upon him. His eyesight is failing, and the little spark of passion and the reason that should have never left him is gradually being extinguished. It was only by the exercise of strategy and urgent persuasion he was induced without using force to come down from his mountain home and get into a wagon waiting to convey him into town, a distance of some 15-20 miles.” Mason did not want-whether they forced him or not, he did not want what they took him to do. He attempted to escape several times. So far as to get the start of his guards, several 100s of yards going at full speed toward the mountains. Mostly reports said that he was harmless, but a few people had said that in his older age he would get confused, he would lash out a little bit. What it actually said was, “attacks of raving lunacy.” Which, yikes. A few weeks later, McCarron wrote that Mason was taken the McMinn County Poorhouse. Once he arrived there, he very quickly made his escape. He walked a distance of around 20 miles back to his brother-in-law's house. Horner Colthrop provided him a shelter to stay in at night and he was free to roam during the day. Which is kind of what the situation was before, but this time there wasn't really much of an issue with it. He actually used the shelter he was given, the cops didn't try to come take him away, they all kind of came to an agreement. At this point, things were really, finally starting to calm down for him. During the winter of 1891-1892, Mason stayed in the cabin intermittently. He continued to visit the White Cliff kitchens and he was very grateful for the services that they gave him, because he was 68 years old, and his health was beginning to decline. Any food that they could give him, any warmth, he was grateful for. Unfortunately, on the morning of January 11, 1892, Mason's body was found frozen sitting under a tree. His brother-in-law claimed his remains, and Mason was buried in a simple wooden casket near his parents at Hickory Grove Cemetery. For 40 years, he had lived alone in the wilderness, kept himself alive. I think that that is fucking crazy.

Z: Truly.

E: Obviously, if you threw me out there now, given that I am of the-I'm on the millenial/gen z cusp. I've basically always had a cell phone in my hand. I would not last a day.

Z: I can't even poop in the woods.

E: Exactly! Thank you! I know it was a different time but wow. 40 years, completely alone.

Z: Yeah.

E: Didn't have a house, lived in a cave. Finally I have a quote here from Harvey McGill, the owner of the White Cliff Hotel who said, “Mason Evans is much better off dead than alive and Hickory Grove is a much better place than the shack he lived in. The final resting place of his soul is with God, I am sure.” That is-

Z: That's sweet.

E:...the story of Mason Evans.

Z: Oh my god. I am still shook about those women.

E: I know.

Z: The loaf of bread.

E: It's so cool. It's so cool.

Z: Oh my god.

E: That just goes to show you. That's the definition of southern hospitality.

Z: Truly.

E: Truly.

Z: Well, thank god I finally know all about Mason.

E: I'm sorry that was so long-

Z: Nah.

E:...for our first run, but I really just needed to

get that one off my chest. Fortunately, it had given me kind of a branching off of some other topics that I want to cover too. I definitely want to talk more about the White Cliff Hotel and I am actually planning on doing an episode on sinkholes.

Z:OOooo.

E: Caves and sinkholes are all kind of connected. So that's that. Thank you for listening.

Z: Of course.

E: What's your issue this week?

Z: My issue this week, and-okay there is a side of TikTok-

E: I'm afraid now.

Z:...currently, and again, brain worms. My issue this week is cleantok. Cleaning TikTok.

E: Ooo, that sounds nice.

Z: I'm gonna do a little bit of a trigger warning here-

E: Oh, okay.

Z:...for child abuse.

E: Okay...

Z: Because skip ahead like 2 minutes, if you don't want to hear about this, but-

E: I was not expecting this.

Z:...have you ever read the book A Child Called It?

E: No, but I know about it. I know like the general plot.

Z: There's a scene where household chemicals are mixed and it's supposed to be-

E: Oh.

Z: Okay.

E: Like the mustard gas?

Z: Yeah, pretty much.

E: I think I know where this is going.

Z: There's this side of TikTok now where people are like, “We're on cleantok, we're gonna clean.” and they'll dump half a container of AJAX, Clorox, Dawn, literally everything under the-

E: Ammonia.

Z: Ammonia, everything and that's just where my brain goes is mixing chemicals together and making deadly toxic gases and I'm just waiting, because there's livestreams of people that'll just go live and dump-

E: Yeah, I've seen a couple of those videos where people are just throwing in 4 different kinds of powder and dumping multiple liquids on top of it.

Z: Yeah!

E: How are you not dead? Someone's gonna get hurt.

Z: Truly, and that's where my brain went. I was like, someone is going to not realize it. 'Cause it's science, they're chemicals. You're mixing shit together, you don't know what you're mixing. Somethings going to happen, someone is going to get hurt, because these people on TikTok are like “Oh I'm going to make a rainbow in my toilet today.”

E: Can I say, I feel like a lot of that we don't have home-ec in schools anymore.

Z: Yeah.

E: Because I learned, my mom was the one that told me, don't mix ammonia and bleach cause you'll make mustard gas, but I don't know if that's actually true. I know that it makes something that is very dangerous, but that is kind of where you would learn about these household things. Schools are so underfunded that you don't have that anymore.

Z: Yep.

E: That's just sad.

Z: Well, that was my issue. Sorry to get a little dark there for a second but truly I saw just one video, and you know how TikTok is, they'll be one here or there, and it really made me mad.

E: Well, hey, PSA don't do that. Don't mix things.

Z: Please.

E: Do your research if you're going to use multiple chemicals because, because holy shit you could literally gas yourself to death.

Z: Here's the tea. One is enough.

E: Yeah, most of the time.

Z: Scrubbing bubbles? Fine.

E: Yeah.

Z: Dawn Dishwashing Liquid? Fine. Don't start mixing shit. You don't need to. That's what they're there for.

E: Yes, yes. Please be safe. Please don't get hurt.

Z: What's your issue now that I'm all worked up?

E: My issue, maybe this is dark, my issue is honestly that I had to take Brownie to the emergency vet.

Z: Yeah.

E: 'Cause that was a nightmare.

Z: Yeah.

E: I had to take my sweet little boy to the vet because I came home from work and he had poopied blood and I was terrified and I thought he was gonna die. It turns out that he just had a mild infection, and he's had his antibiotics. He's good to go now. We did his follow up, and the vet said he looked fine. His issue this week is probably the fact that they shaved that funky chunk out of the side of his neck, because they had to give him fluids, so he has this wonky ass-it looks like the state of South Carolina.

Z: Have you ever seen that episode of Bob's Burgers where he gets the stitch in his finger-

E: Yes!

Z:...and he's like, “Why did you shave my arm?”

E: That is exactly it, yeah. God that's such-I love Bob's Burgers.

Z: Same.

E: But yeah, that's my issue. He's fine. I'm still-I don't think I'm ever gonna recover from that. That was so stressful. He's okay and he's standing here staring at me because it's been two hours, and he probably needs to poop.

Z: He probably needs to poop.

(dog shaking his head noises)

E: Yeah.

Z: We'll take that as a yes.

E: Alright, well, thanks for listening.

Z: Of course, thanks for listening to me ramble, thanks for listening to Em ramble.

E: Thanks for really listening to me ramble.

E&Z: (laughs)

Z: Well we'll hopefully see you next time, hopefully we'll see you next time, I'm really excited for my topic next week.

Z: Hi guys.

E: Hey.

Z: How's it going? So when we initially recorded this episode, we didn't have all of our social media set up completely. There were a couple that had different usernames or whatever, just rookie mistakes that we had made, but we just wanted to rerecord the ending here. Kinda touch base with you, so you know exactly where to find us so there's no confusion, and we're all on the same page. So Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube @issues-podcast. Our Tumblr is @theabandonmentissues. Or you can simply go to our LinkTree whick is linktr.ee/issues_podcast. And all of this will be linked in the description below. But that's got all of our relevant links including our cited sourced, social media, and our Patreon can be found there as well.

E: We also have an email for listener story submissions now. So if you have any places nearby you that you think are relevant to the topics that we cover, we would like to hear from you. You can send those to us at tellusyourissue@gmail.com, and we might read it out on the air.

Z: You never know what could happen.

E: You never know. You can also send whatever you want to that email. Anything you want us to know. Anything relevant.

Z: Send us memes. We'll print them out, and we'll hand them to Gertrude.

E: Exactly. Yeah.

Z: No problem.

E: That should pretty much cover everything, contact wise.

Z: We appreciate you guys understanding that we're fools.

E&Z: (laughs)

E: We're just some fresh faced youngsters.

Z: Listen, we're little rookies, we gotta figure it out as we go, and unfortunately this is one of them.

E: If you need anything from us, that's were you can find us.

Z: Please, send me memes.

E: (laughs) Please. It's what keeps him going.

Z: It's all I got left in this world.

E: Yeah.

[abloomntime]

A Bloom In Time Ch12 Dealing With The Past

Poppy's eyes widened when the giant snake like creature turned around in the opposite direction and began to float off somewhere still looking at her with that scowl. He was-....Sure something else wasn't he? She'd never seen anything like this before. Was he a swamp monster? Could be, she'd never been in a swamp before and didn't know what was hiding in it and she hadn't heard much stories about monsters except for the typical monster under your bed kind, and she still felt a pit of dread in her stomach harder than a rock when his gaze didn't budge from her face. It was almost like he was both suspicious and cautious in his movements as he held her up and away from her like someone who had to carry something but definately didn't enjoy doing so.

".......How do you know her?," he asked finally breaking the silence.

She flinched and blinked at the sudden question and all she could ask was, "W-what?"

"I SAID how did you meet the girl?"

"I-I-....S-She rescued me from prison." Well it was the truth. Even if it technically wasn't actual jail or a traditional dungeon. It was still prison to her.

He hummed and brought her around from the left side of him to the front to get a better look at her but still kept her at arm's length for obvious reasons. He was still dealing with the inner turmoil of emotions suddenly busting inside him, but if there was one thing he was good at it was keeping his mouth shut and his true emotions hidden. Right now he was feeling...He didn't know exactly. Anger? Guilt? Resentment? Maybe a little bit of happiness? He didn't know. Oh no no. Not angry at her or anyone else, but at Vanessa. If the kiddo really rescued a 'lady wearing an apron' (his yellow eyes glazed over her brown leather work apron) and it was Poppy, when it really wasn't a maid or cook after all. Then that also meant that......She was right there the whole time in that heavily chained room. ...And in all the few times he was there he never bothered to look inside ....she was so close...Right there. Which raised a whole bunch of other questions. Was she an ice statue like the others? How long had she been in there? Was she locked in there before or after he was chained up? Did-.....D-Did she know it was because of him? Oh peck! Did the kiddo say anything to her?! Did she recognize him?! Poppy hadn't given any indication she even recognized him so that was probably a big fat no. So then ....Did she resent him? D-Did she even know the reason she was locked away by the mad queen? Did she blame her friend? Guilt and anger at himself bubbled up from himself and he growled. STOP IT SNATCHER!! How many times did you have to tell yourself it's NOT your fault!! ALL OF IT WAS VANESSA'S!! HERS NOT YOURS!! The sudden growl made her jump and he snapped his thinking back towards her movements. The sight of her still scared form seemed to calm her down a lot making him sigh(or give a sigh sound since he didn't have lungs) and frown. Less intimidating than the harsh scowl. And he hoped it wouldn't scare her now that-.......Now that she was...She was back..POPPY WAS BACK AND SAFE! That one thought made him halt in his movements causing her to lightly swing in his grasp at the sudden stop and she blinked at him. His eyes looked over her studiously before she found herself slowly being lowered down, she was placed on her feet and the giant claws retreated back to the ghost who once again towered over her quietly. He studied her dirty still damp self yellow eyes stopping at the twinkling peice of gold around her wrist and blinked at the dirt covered gold bracelet. Yellow eyes widening at it before his ghost brain(if he even had one) kicked into high gear and years of experience being in this scenario rammed back into him making him hum and look back to her confused, lightly scared face. Poppy was safe...For now at least. But what if something happened again. He hissed and was still angry at himself for allowing this to happen to her. Her whole life was stopped because of him and now she had to pay the price for it....but what if-....HE COULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW!! YES!! He was so puny and weak back then, but now he had the power to do whatever he wanted. He could take care of his forest, his minions, those kids, and himself...Why COULDN'T he do the same for her..He could..Make it up to her. Make amends and make up for everything he couldn't do for her...YEAH!! Well first he had to seal a deal with her, which meant no one could ever hurt her again. Just as a safety precaution. He'd done it before. And he knew jjuuuust the way to do it.

"This is a nice accessory you got here," he complimented pointing a claw at her wrist. "It's ok if I keep it, right? It's sparkly. I like that. It looks magical."

She blinked and looked to her wrist..And immediately pulled her wrist up and to her chest, her other hand clutching it as she scowled. "NO peckin' way, Ya purple onion reject! I don't know who ya think you are, but there's no way I'm giving you this. It's the only thing I got left from my home!"

He smiled at the sudden gesture even if it didn't nessacarily mean she wasn't giving it up because she missed him. "Im sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I am the Snatcher. Im the one who takes all your stuff when you forget it under the couch, or deep in the closet....Or in this case. Your SOUL!!" Again her face twisted onto one of fear and he continued to smile and hold up a clawed hand, making a small blue fire appear. "I took it the moment we touched. This small flame is your life force." It really wasn't but he was great at acting when you were a scary prince and people feared you. They beleived anything you told them.

"Y-You...PECKING DIRTY VARMANT!!" She suddenly charged and started jumping and grabbing at the small flames. Horrified and angry her 'life force' was being held hostage by some swamp monster. She was DONE absolutely DONE with her poor life. "GIVE IT BACK!! GIVE IT BACK GIVE IT BACK PLEASE!!"

"You can't have it back. It belongs to ME now. What are you gonna do? You're just a little girl. Only fire magical hurts me, and you're not a fire spirit." He lightly tainted smiling and still staring almost in a happy way at her. This was always too easy. "No one enters my forest and doesn't face some sort of consequences. But tell you what. I've got a piece of paper here, and a nifty one at that too. I've got some work that'll suit you just fine with your spunk." His hand with the tiny flame was suddenly engulfed in blue fire and as she gaped at it like many mortals he's seen. A moment later the bright light dimmed away completely to show a big scroll in his hand without the flame. In one swift motion he unfurled it and lowered it and himself down to her. His head practically upside down as he held it a foot from her face and the other hand grabbing one of her shoulders. "How about a deal!? You get to keep your body, mind, and soul and in return you help me with just a few minor things I can't do as a human. "

"......Deal?", she asked unsure before looking back to the long piece of paper and her hands reaching out to take it from him. He let her and watched in anticipation as she read over the thing. It was almost half her height. A deal with a swamp creature...There's something you don't see every day. The paper looked old and slightly torn around the edges here and there. At the very top of the paper was a fancy drawing of the creature before her with the face and his arms outstretched, beneath that was some very fancy writing that read "CONTRACT" in fancy bold captial cursive letters. The Rest was also in fancy cursive but lucking she could read it pretty well reading someone's fancy cursive order of flowers all the time. It read as followed:

CONTRACT

SERVE THE DEAD WITH WHAT THE AGREEMENT STATES

You have been caught trespassing in the Subcon Forest owned by the benevolant and merciful the Snatcher. The punishment for invaded and disturbing the dead's sacred resting place will be your life long servitude and loyalty to said ruler The Snatcher. Refusing to comply will result in the reposession of one's soul as payment for your crime. But you are lucky enough to have been selected as few mortals to help the eternal after life and anything the Snatcher requests within reason of the servants morals and abilities. The following territories of the forest shall be availble for the signer to visit willingly as they please.

-The Subcon Forest

-The Employer's Home (with special permission)

-The Subcon Forest

These parts shall NOT be availible for any reason and will not be negotiated unless the employer says otherwise.

-The Haunted Manor

-The frozen bridge

-The Subcon Swamp

-The Subcon Well

-The frozen territory

-Any place my employer has said is off limits

By signing this the signer shall be paid for their service and loyalty with immortality, protection from the Snatcher and those under him, a home, and anything the signer requests within reason. Binding by contract means your soul shall remain bound to the contract which cannot be broken by any means except by will of the employer, a.k.a the Snatcher. And in return the signer shall do ask the Snatcher asks with they're full cooperation. If the Snatcher at any point terminates the contract the signer's soul shall be released from his care and they shall live a normal rest of their life. By agreeing you shall also be safe from other supernatural entities and their influences whatever they may be, including influences from the employer and other minions. Also by signing this the signer agrees to willing do this and become a certified minion of The Snatcher. If you have complaints, suggestions, or other, the signer must report them to their employer immediately. As a down payment for all provided by the Snatcher, he shall be given the contract with your soul will be bound to for eternity unless decided otherwise, but the servant will be allowed free of will, full freedom, tasks the employer asks something of them, mind, body, and their soul in their body.

SIGNED

And then there was a small line for her name. Poppy's blue eyes stared gobsmacked at it before rereading it again.......Before closing her mouth and looking up to the smiling spook with a raised brow.

"Do you REALLY expect me to hand over my life to YOU?!"

"Hey! You get to keep literally EVERYTHING. You're soul won't even belong to me. Only the contract it'll be connected too. Plus you don't literally have to do anything except minor tasks. Like going to the book store. You really can't expect me to easily buy books as I am do you?"

"NO! This is ridiculous! I'm not gonna-"

"Look, Po-...Miss." He almost said her name but made a clear throat noise and straightened back up looking down at her. "Perhaps I should've been more...Specific about what you owe me. You see this forest has thousands of spirits here. This is their home. They died here, they were buried somewhere here, and there's lots of obvious graves. Like or not you crashlanded into sacred burial ground disturbing them and annoying them all whether you like it or not. It doesn't matter if it's an accident, to them you invaded their sacred place. Which is also mine. There's a few powerful spirits here but none as powerful as myself. Im offering you a VERY generous deal, I even gave you your soul back once the flame left my hand." He smiled as Poppy suddenly blinked and looked at herself patted herself down as to check to see if her soul was still there. "All I want is a mortal helper to assist me in things I have trouble doing myself being an all powerful spirit. I even offer you anything you want in return. Within reason of course. Maybe you want out of here? To have the spirits forgive you?......Maybe some dry land by the looks of it. By refusing my offer you'd still be invading the undead's home and I don't think many are going to be as generous as I."

Her scowl quickly became a look of concern as she still stared at him. So he was a spirit huh? Was he right? Was there really big bad spirits like him around the swamp. She didn't think she'd ever see a spirit before like this. The guy was MASSIVE and obviously gave off danger vibes to her, but he offered her a deal, and....technically she DID kinda, sorta trespass on his home even if not intentionally. If she was a spirit she'd probably be upset someone walked into her final resting place too. Did it happen often if he was genuinely this annoyed about it? Was it true another spirit would get her if she didn't take his offer? Snatcher smiled wider showing off those fangs when she blinked and reread the contract over again....She didn't know documents too well, and she wasn't exactly an expert in laws like her old friend was, but it all seemed legit. Wasn't anything really underhanded in the paper except for the loyalty of becoming his 'minion' and doing as he asked without question. Boy her life just kept getting weirder and weirder by the hour.

"And what exactly kind of work would you have someone like ME do, Mr. Purple Shadow?," she asked raising a brow. "It's not like I have any special magical powers or anything."

"I don't need anyone else with magical powers around believe me. It's caused me nothing but trouble in the past anyways. Like I said, I only want a mortal helper to help me out with a whole bunch of things a big scary but handsome ghost like me can't."

"Like what?"

"Well as much fun as it would be to scare out an entire town and take the things I want, seeing everyone outside my forest scream and run away from me when I'm trying to simply buy books or something. It would be SO much easier if I had a normal looking mortal to do it for me and bring me things I want, and all kinds of other things a dead person like me can't. You like kids right? Live kids?" That question came out of no where and she rose a brow at how strange and sudden that one was. But he knew the answer was yes anyways, she always remembered how much she'd smile and laugh sweetly at all the children's antics. His minions were techincally those kids, and ...there was the girls. It WOULD be handy to have a lady who loves kids on hand right?...What would've their children have looked like if they ever had the chance to- He shook his head and looked back to her still confused face waiting for an answer.

"Uh....Y-Yes. I think they're some of the cutest creatures on the planet!'' She meant that bit too. "Why do you care though?"

"Because I have two small kids that drive me up a wall all the time. I could use a hand keeping them out of my hair."

Her brows rose. "You have childre-..." She suddenly froze. Blue eyes widening and remembering what the small alien girl said to her. Her father...A spirit. Snatcher- She suddenly pointed at him. "YOU'RE THAT LIL ALIEN'S FATHER?!"

He rose a brow. "Glad you finally caught up with what I was s-"

"She said you could help me!" Usually he'd be annoyed anyone would dare to interrupt him, but he just blinked at her sudden statement. "L-Look." SHe held out her hands holding the paper. "I-I just want some help! She told me you could help, but I don't know how! I'm lost, and everything's not where it should be, and Im having a very hard time believing anything is happening right now! I was frozen dead for a thousand years and rescued by an alien and now I'm talking to a giant purple ghost! I'm afraid I'm going crazy!''

"....Well, I can tell you everything you just said probably happened since I'm definately not an imaginary boogie man. But tell you what. You're lucky. That piece of paper there allows me to provide any help the signer might want within reason. You can clearly read it at the top there." He frowned a little bit. "I'll tell you this. I can't send anyone back in time, and wouldn't want to. But I can make life a lot easier for someone like you, and I can tell you already had it hard as it is. You lost so much already. So don't lose this too. Trust me, you'll regret it." Now she was put on the spot as she froze again and gave a helpless look between him and the paper...and gulped. "You know, you would also be untouchable to Pecking Vanessa. She'd be powerless against me therefore you too in a nutshell. Isn't it worth the price knowing you won't be a block of ice again."

Her eyes widened and she looked back to the paper with a sigh. "B-But...I don't h-have a pe-" He snapped his claws and a feathered pen appeared right next to her. She blinked at it for a moment but to his utter delight she reached a shaking hand up and grabbed it looking back down to the paper. "....W-What if I don't sign it?"

"Then another angry spirit will come and try to have at you for tresspassing. Im not the only ghost in this forest. Just the most powerful.~.....Sign your full name now."

The silence of the forest was interrupted by the soft scratching of a pen against paper slowly. Snatcher's smile became wider, and wider, and wider as she nervously signed away until she wrote the last 'n' of her last name. Once she did the pen disappeared in a small puff of smoke and she jumped, her grip on the contract loosening enough for the giant ghost to snatch it from her. At the same time a giant burst of energy throbbed hard within the very core of her body. Temparaily knocking the wind outta her. She gasped and fell to her hands and knees at the sudden tight feeling within her. Her body emitting a small purple light in the dead center of her chest before as soon it came it left and she stayed her gasping and blinking at the sudden sensation that came and left. Leaving goosebumps across the pale flesh and her shaking like a leaf again. Coughing and eventually snapping a scowl up to him. He smiled reading over the contract before it disappeared in a puff of flames too.

"That seals the deal, Lady! We're in business!"

"W-W-What the PECK was THAT?!," she demanded glaring at him.

"Relax. You're unharmed. It was just the bond ceiling between us and the magic forming a strong protective shield around your soul. Don't worry. You're safe now." His voice went a little soft there at the end as did his expression as he continued to stare at her. Poppy. His Poppy. His Princess of Flowers. She was safe. Free from any danger, out of Vanessa's grip, and safe at last. And with him after all this time. ....He shouldn't be happy about that. He still felt very guilty about her being locked away and frozen for a thousand years but I digress. But things were ok now. He would make sure of it. "SO. New Errand Girl." Still keeping up the act for now as he watched her get back onto her feet. "Tell me all about this little problem of yours. And follow me. You'll want to see you're new work place."

He went to grab her again but she took a step back and held up her hands still lightly scowling. "No thanks. I can walk."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself. Now. Are you going to tell me why the old blooming pecker locked you up and threw away the key?" he started forward again and she reluctantly followed. No sense in staying in the fog anyways right.

"To be honest I don't really remember." She gazed down as she walked, arms crossing over her chest. "It's...kinda fuzzy."

His full attention was on her as he scowled and hummed. "What do you remember?"

"I...remember these two big men in suits grabbing me from my stands when I was closing the shop. I think they might've been the Queen's knights." Snatcher scowled harder remembering those two very well. He could still almost feel them using their insane strength to hold him to the wall and chain him. "And then I was taken to the Queen's summer home and saw this monster...I mean the queen."

"No. You were right the first time. She was always a monster, it just took her a while to show everyone what was really inside. So don't give her any credit. She was never a queen, just a spider wearing a pretty mask."

She looked at him surprised. "Oh....Did you know her? I think the little alien said something about you were my age."

He bristled purple hair puffing up for a moment as he stared at her...before he scowled again. "Who DIDN'T know her?! She was Queen and then cursed EVERYTHING!!" He gave a small growl...before forced himself to calm down because she was looking at him funny and gave a sighing noise. "There's lots of spirits around here that was a poor victim of her tantrum." That wasn't a lie. There was lots of minions and dwellers that froze from her curse. "I'm sorry for what happened. But...A-Anyways, what happened after you met the crazy dame? What did she lock you up for?"

"I-......*sigh* I don't know. I think she said something about treason, but it's all fuzzy. And I SWEAR to you." She gave him an almost pleading look. "I didn't do anything but sell flowers in the square! I've never even met her before!''

He held up a hand. "OH! Believe me I believe you more than I would believe her. Lots of innocent lives were lost by her...But please. Feel free to continue." A guilty feeling bubbled up in himself and he had a pretty good idea what 'treason' Vanessa locked her away for.

She looked back down sadly...and shrugged. "That's about it. They threw me inside this big empty room, and locked me in. And then..." Her brows furrowed in thought. "....Uh. I don't remember what happened. All I remember was I was really cold and it was dark...and it was still so cold when I woke up. I could've sworn I was unconcious for a few hours."

He held up a hand again. "And let me take a guess at what happened next. Hattie blew the door down and took you back to her weird place in the sky, right?"

She nodded. "YES!! That's exactly it! She used her magic umbrella thing and there was this other little girl and then ..Hattie said you were a ghost and could help me. I still don't know how but ...I don't know. I guess knowing someone from my time was here after all was enough for me to get talked into getting teleported again. But then I ended up falling through the sky and crash landing into those poor trees." She looked at him. "H-How big is this Swamp, Mr. Snatcher Ghost?"

He rose a ghostly brow. "Don't call me Mr. Snatcher Ghost. Im known as Snatcher and nothing else and I would appreciate it if you'd call me that too. ...But the swamp's not that big. Maybe a small percent of my whole forest and territory. Subcon's a big place."

She stopped walking for a moment and looked at him. "Subcon..A-As in the Subconia or Subconette Kingdom?" She wondered which one she landed in.

He gazed at her silently for a moment before shrugging. "Both. A lot's changed over a thousand years, Lady. Those kingdoms don't exist anymore. Just some reminders left behind."

That was it. The thorn that pricked the skin. Poppy stopped staring there right at him for a good long moment....before the weight buckled from under her and she fell to her knees with a blank expression glanced to the ground. Immediately he floated over and held his hands arm unsure.

"H-Hey! Lady?!.....P-Poppy. Are you alright?" A choke came from her and fresh tears came down her face as she started crying, and he froze. A sudden feeling of guilt and worry bubbled up at the sudden crying. All the emotions and situation finally hitting her hard like a punch to the gut and finally breaking her down for him to see. Snatcher floated there for a moment still unsure what to do ....before unsurely putting one arm around her and his other hand being engulfed in flames, a hankercheif appearing in it before he awkwardly offered it to her. "Uh....There, there? It's ok. You're alright, right?"

She grabbed the small cloth from her and uselessly wiped at her face. "I-I LOST EVERYTHING!! AND EVERYONE I EVER CARED ABOUT IS G-G-GONE!!" She blew her nose into the small cloth and sniffed wiping her face with her arm. "W-W-What am I supposed to do?! My life is over!!"

"H-Hey! That's not true I-.....*sigh*" He rubbed the back of his head and tried to scramble for a solution. He was NOT good at having heart to heart talks even to himself, so...what would he say to this? He looked back to her as one thought crossed his mind. "I-I...I know exactly how you feel." He scowled. "Yeah. I know EXACTLY how that feels. Vanessa took everything from me too when she froze everything!" He growled and his grip on her became a bit tighter if he was being a lil protective. "I pecking didn't see it coming until it froze me right before my very eyes! I died before my life even took off the ground and now I'm stuck like this....But you aren't." He ...attempted a smile. "Listen, Poppy. I'm not good at this speaking from the heart stuff, but Im pretty good at speaking from experience stuff. So trust me when I saw you still got your whole life plus more ahead of you. It's....probably going to take a while for you to process this properly and start to move on like I did...But your friends wouldn't have wanted you to wallow over them. You can still do things now you're not a frozen statue locked in some room like Vanessa's trophy. And.....I-I promise I will help you. Alright?" And he meant it too. He owed it to her after all that happened. He'd help his dear friend-

"W-What AM I supposed to do now?...E-Everything's-"

"Gone?", he finished for her sighing again. "Look. I ....can't change the past no matter how badly I want to. But I can change the future, and so can you. Think of all the things you can do now without anyone to hold you back!" He might've been speaking from what he perceived as a positive but she gave him a funny look. "Uh...By that I mean vanessa of course. She's not holding you prisoner anymore."

"Gee...T-Thanks for the swell pep talk, Buddy. *hic*" She wiped her eyes again before trying to give back the cloth, to which Snatcher cringed and snapped his fingers making it disappear.

"Hey. I said I wasn't good at that kind of stuff....Hey." He rose a ghostly brow and looked around. "You said the kid brought you here. Where is she?"

She blinked and stared at him for a moment. "I-....I-I don't know. All I remember is falling and landing in swamp water."

He hummed and thought for a moment. Poppy blinked when she was grabbed and raised to her feet by him again. "I have a good idea about where she went. Come on. On your feet. I want to see if my hunch is right."

***********************************************************************************************

"MS POPPY!?"

The shouting of the children still echoed through out the forest as the small hatted girl ran down the dirt path towards the tree house. Blue eyes frantically looking around at every dead tree, tombstone, and dweller that she passed. Desperately looking for a moment of pale skin and red hair. Bow was bounding behind her right on her tail also wearily looking around the forest passing dwellers and subconites alike as she hightailed it after. Both were worried Poppy would soon end up on the wrong side of the forest by now! The swamp! Snatcher's traps! ....GOOD PECKING GOSH!! WAS SNATCHER EVEN BACK YET!? She'd be dead meat without one of the girl's to explain why a grown woman was suddenly walking around in his forest. How could she have let go of her hand and not realize it!? She felt like crying once the sight of the ghost's familiar home came into view. Getting another rush at seeing it, she bounded towards it as fast as she could. Pulling back on her heels digging into the ground and grabbing the hat on her head as she came back to a sliding stop in front of the empty home. Panting and startling the ghosts around it. After a few seconds, Bow ended up stopping right behind her and falling to her knees gasping and wheezing after the long run they did as her friend looked around at everything. No one but the ghosts and Rough Patch that was curled up in Snatcher's chair looking like someone randomly placed a bush in his home.

"Are you looking for the boss, Newbie?," one of the subconites asked pointing in the direction Snatcher previously rushed off too. "You missed him. He left 'bout fifthteen minutes ago."

"OH NO!! OH NO!!" Hattie immediately turned and began running in the direction the minion pointed leaving Bow heaving and sitting there too tired to follow anymore. Running blindly into the woods wasn't the best idea but what was she supposed to do at that now? What if Snatcher spotted Poppy? What if she fell into one of his traps? What if- The child suddenly came to a screeching halt at what emerged out of the woods before her with a scowl. "....Snatcher?!"

The spirit scowled and laserfocused on the little girl right in front of him....Before edging a little bit to the right revealing the red haired tired looking woman behind him. The two girls locked eyes for a solid moment...Before Hattie sighed in releif and wiped her forehead.

"Kid. You have got a lot of explaining to do."

[yutaya]

Iron Fist Rewatch 1x05: Under Leaf Pluck Lotus

I like this shot. The way the women are shown reflected in the wall first. Also lol quintessential synchronized female power strut

Why wait until you’re IN the office to move your wedding ring?? Or to unbutton your shirt? Well, that one I can understand - let all the people who see you heading INTO the office see the shirt still buttoned up. The ring, though - unless the POINT is to be seen moving it? Imply that you’re open to cheating or something? Ugh.

This is so sketchy.

Danny’s employees be like: “Having? My voice heard? At work? Having? My opinion? Be valued? My? Contribution? Being? Acknowledged? Personally??? ??? ??? What is happening????? ??????” And then it’s the “the worthy leader’s people love and are completely loyal to them” trope (aka one of my greatest weaknesses) forever. <3

Lmao Joy you’re cold.

“Is that heroin? You bring drugs into my office?” *Laughing/sobbing*

Ward just staring blankly while Danny name drops a bunch of triad stuff like Ward is supposed to know what that is. Danny: “...It’s a criminal syndicate.” Ward: *heavy sigh*

Danny, continuing: “So I was talking to the criminals with the hatchets and asked them for intel. They sent me a box, which was clearly a message!” Ward: “You 👏 sound 👏 in 👏 sane. 👏” Danny: “No, look, the proof is that the symbol on this heroin looks like the undying dragon that made me a living weapon!”

Lol “Harold said so himself” no faster way to turn Ward off a plan, sorry Danny

Danny. How do you manage to make half your conversations sound sketchy as hell?

Joy: *brings up the Hatchet men and Red Hook right after Danny was telling Ward about it in relation to the Hand* Ward: *alarm bells ringing because HAS DANNY BEEN TELLING JOY ALL THE THINGS WE SPECIFICALLY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TELL JOY?* Joy: Anyway, about Dad’s cancer... Ward: Oh, ok then.

Siiiiiiigh this conversation where Ward reassures Joy that she’s a good person making the right decision when she feels bad about doing something but does it anyway - to protect their own company and personal interests - and adds on a load of “also you don’t really feel guilty because you think this is wrong, you just feel sad because you’re remembering Dad, don’t mix it up”

Colleen to Claire, Iron Fist 1x05: “Oh what was that? Come on, hit me.” Colleen to Misty, Luke Cage 2x03: *hitting directly on Misty’s stump while Misty yells at her to stop* “You came to me. I’m not easy. You don’t like that?”

Claire: “I guess I got tired of people doing things for me all the time.” Claire was a helpful nurse in Daredevil, and a friend with medical knowledge in Luke Cage - Iron Fist is where she says “I am tired of being reactionary”

LOL Danny’s cute little smile when he comes in to see Colleen doing her normal thing, training a student, just - it’s so loving and adorable even though they BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER YET

Claire just giving Colleen knowing looks ahahahaha

This scene is SO CUTE Jessica and Finn do such a great job playing all the body language and speech cadences like two teenagers with crushes on each other

DANNY ordering takeout for a talk with someone without even checking to see if they’re free first is SO PRESUMPTUOUS what if she wasn’t free (which she WASN’T) or didn’t want to talk or had already eaten/already had meal plans?

I’m literally laughing out loud hahahaha takeout hahahaha

Claire is laughing at them too. This fumbling “date?” conversation is too adorable I can’t

LMAO Claire knows EXACTLY how much she is third wheeling them right now but she doesn’t care because Damn that food looks good. Girl knows what she wants. (Also a little bit of female solidarity helping to buffer when your friend has literally said “no” to the guy - but in this particular case it’s SO OBVIOUS that Colleen likes him back that I read she’s leaning more towards the ‘it’s just to make sure but also that food looks REALLY good’ - then again, especially with all the things Claire has seen there really is no such thing as ‘too cautious’... let’s go with the way she hints is an opening and when Colleen leaps on the opportunity for Claire to stay it becomes ‘yep, I’m definitely doing this, Colleen doesn’t want to be alone with the dude: confirmed’)

Ward is looking at the problem as what it is: a set-up, and they don’t fall for traps. Joy goes “Remember that I am better at public perception than you - there are more factors here to consider than what everyone involved in this particular case knows. I’M thinking long term about potential future ramifications.”

“He’s in a completely different world, Joy.” “He lives in ours, now.”

That awkward moment when you’re already digging in and someone starts praying

The way Danny just goes shutters down mode when Claire starts probing about how harsh life in the monastery was

Colleen, brainwaving to Claire: ‘YOU BITCH DON’T LEAVE ME HERE’ Claire, brainwaving right back: ‘”Vow of chastity.” I’m good. You’re on your own, girl.’ She does do one last check in to make sure Colleen really isn’t worried though which I appreciate.

Danny. You lovable buffoon. You think Ward’s problem is that he doesn’t believe you? And that if he did believe this was happening he would of course immediately take action to shut it down? Colleen to Ward, sometime in the future: “Danny has Always had way more faith in you than you deserve.” ToT

Colleen: “Ok soooo I’m still not seeing the part where you had to come tell me this? Am I just your favorite sounding board or...?” Danny: “Well, I want you to come stakeout and possibly getting killed WITH me, of course.” Colleen: “Wait, is this a date?” Danny: “What? No! I mean. Unless you want it to be?” Colleen: “No!” Danny: “No. No, uh, definitely, uh, not a date. Heh.” Colleen: “Good.” Danny: “Good.” *both nod*

Of course the argument that gets to Colleen is how this will endanger her students.

DANNY trying to convince someone to do something and then when they hesitate dropping “by the way I’m your new landlord” on them is SKETCHY you foolish foolish boy. How do you manage to come across so sketchy all the time?!

Ward: *cheerfully throwing Danny under the bus* Joy: *warning Look* Ward: *sighhhhhh you ruin all my fun Joy*

Joy: *radiating ‘just wait til we’re alone’ vibes at Ward* “:) I will back up my brother wholeheartedly because we are a united front and I refuse to let the board see any cracks to even try and exploit :)” *’JUST YOU WAIT WARD YOUR ASS IS GRASS’*

Ahahaha “Ward has always led our company to greatness with his mad genius” when Ward knows most of those decisions were actually Harold I’m cry

Danny. That’s Colleen’s private property Danny. It’s very presumptuous to order takeout, buy her building, and start playing with her katana, Danny.

Martial art style teasing rivalry culture I love it

They’re too cute

AI YA

“suck on that, Dad” Ward be like “yeah i went against everything smart that Joy and board were arguing for me to do just to make your precious company look bad DAD whatchu gonna do, huh? gonna send me more vaguely threatening text messages about how not a single moment in my life is private from you, huh, DAD? fuck you”

Danny: “it’s just nice, having someone to count on.” Colleen: “You have the Meachums.” Danny: *remains silent* IT’S SO DAMNING ahahaha Colleen has so many reasons to hate the Meachums hahahaha

Danny: “I don’t even know what I’m doing or saying until it’s taken the wrong way,” Well, I’m glad you realize that, Danny. You’ve seen how many times in the last TWO EPISODES ALONE people have recoiled slightly and gone “woah, woah, what are you doing?” Oh buddy.

Danny: “Ok, look, this stakeout is dangerous, but it’s not ILLEGAL. Technically, I own that pier, so it’s not trespassing or anything.” Radovan: “No hospitals! I’m a wanted man in several countries.”

High Ward T_T and the two different conversations Ward and Joy are having right now T_T and the way Joy doesn’t have the information to even begin to know what Ward is talking about but how she can FEEL that it’s BAD and - T___T

High Ward with his walls down cuddling Joy’s arm and saying “you stood by me” and Joy scared as hell but not hesitating on “we’re family,” as her explanation T________T

“The Hand.” - Danny knew this was The Hand going in. Claire is freaking out because SHE LEFT HELL’S KITCHEN TO GET AWAY FROM THE HAND FUCK THAT HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO HER? Colleen is freaking out for an entirely different reason. :(

“The Hand is everywhere.” Cut from Claire and Danny to a new shot of Colleen looking on in the background.

Claire: “This is not something a rich kid from the Upper West Side can just ‘handle’, ok? This is a job that requires someone with special.... skills.” Ahahahaa poor Claire how DOES this keep happening to her?

Danny, with utmost conviction: “I am the ONLY one who can defeat them.” Claire: *long, defeated sigh. How many freaking times has she heard this before and how many times will she hear it again?*

Colleen: “This is my choice.” Danny hears: “because it’s the right thing to do and I care about the people of this city especially my kids who are highly likely to be effected and also I maybe care about you too.” Colleen means: “because this is the Bad Hand that is sullying my family’s good name and I will not let that stand. I will work together with my family and we will defeat this.”

Gao: “’His hands’. Are you sure it wasn’t his fist?” Guard: “Ummmmm what’s the difference”

CULTS ARE SO SCARY HE REALLY JUST KNELT THERE AAAAAH

[crimsonbluemoon]

OoOOoh! Fun! Fun! Fun! I love these, heheheh. How 'bout Celebrity!au, childhood friends, "Are you sure this is legal?" and/or "It's been so long since we did this.", and Minicat. :3 also don't mind if i reblog the game... no one ever asks me to do one but they're fun to do when i got the time. XD Hope ya have fun with all the asks ya get!

Aww I’m sure people will message you! And I’m slowly but surely getting through these. I’m hoping to get one or two done a day. ^.^ But enjoy this one for now!

AU: CelebrityTrope: Childhood friendsPrompt:  "Are you sure this is legal?“ and/or "It’s been so long since we did this.”

Pairing: Minicat

“Are you sure this is legal?” Even drunk, Craig felt like something was off about the ‘no trespassing after sunset’ sign that hung on the lifeguard post they were walking by. His feet felt light, though he was sure it was the shots he’d taken at his party. Well, it had been labelled his party, though he didn’t know most of the people his manager invited. The house’s music was pumping in the distance, but Mini was dragged further away by… someone. “What’s your name again?” 

“Hunter.” The guy seemed annoyed by the question, and Craig wondered if he’d asked it before. To be fair, he’d had to get to know a lot of people’s names that night, and alcohol didn’t help matters. Also, he really didn’t know where he was at the moment. 

Well, he knew the city at least. L.A was still the same as it’d been twenty years ago, when he’d thought he ran the streets on his bike or his surfboard. Now, after winning the NASL cup and being crowned MVP, he really did own the city. That was why he was having the dumb party with those people he didn’t know or care for. Why some guy with a stupid name was dragging him like a two year old’s ratty blanket, no care or concern for his well being. But really, did anyone these days? When was the last time that someone actually talked to Craig about something other than money, fame, or what he could do for them?   

His eyes closed slowly while he was dragged along, hearing the waves of the ocean crashing into the shore. His feet had lost their shoes, maybe along the walk to the sand, and his toes dug in with a familiar joy. This felt like home, not that stuffy expensive house that overlooked the city. The salty air, the water, all of it was so reminiscent of his childhood. How many nights had he spent on a beach like this? Searching for shells, building bonfires, finding the constellations and trying to figure out his place in the world. That had been some of the best years of his life, staring at the endless sky to remind himself that he was just so small in the grand scheme of things. 

But the best part he remembered was him. The boy with grubby cheeks and a scowl who turned into the teen with rough hands and angry blue eyes. The one person who asked him for nothing. Nothing but his company. When Craig thought he had nothing, he gave Mini everything he needed to reach his dream. Craig wished he could have done the same back then. 

Maybe now, too, if his drunk heart had anything to say about it.

“Freeze.” The voice that called out the command sounded familiar, but Mini’s brain was too sloshed to fully grasp from where. The hand that had been wrapped around his wrist was gone in an instant. It took Craig a moment to open his eyes again, and he caught a glimpse of the back of the man (Henry? Harold?) who had brought him to the beach running out of sight. It took a moment for his body to realize it was on its own, and then the world started to tilt. His arms tried to stabilize him by flailing out on either side, but it was the firm wall that his back bumped into that kept him from falling. Slowly, Mini blinked, letting gravity pull his head back to gaze up at the owner of the chest keeping his upright. His eyes were blurred a bit, partly from alcohol and the slant of his glasses, but even with the smeared vision, he picked up on some of the man’s features. 

Why’d this officer have to have blue eyes like him, too?

“You’re…really pretty.” His words fell out without any chance of filter stopping them, but he was too drunk to mind. Everything was just right for a moment; the music in the background was lower now, and the warmth on his back felt like a comforting blanket. The ocean breeze had chilled him, and while his first companion hadn’t hesitated to leave him cold and alone, this stranger seemed fine with Mini pressed against him. Hands that might have grasped his hips to keep him standing were the right side of rough, large and just so familiar-

“Craig?” 

“That is…is totally my name.” He laughed at his own answer, head fluffy with memories and booze. He didn’t mind slipping deeper into his daydream, letting the water and cold of night sooth his wounded soul. He knew this wasn’t him; the police officer’s badge dug into his shoulder blade, and he could see the flashing lights from the cop car parked somewhere behind them.  He wasn’t that lucky. But the cop was built just like him; tall and scruffy, but soft despite the large body. Prickly, if he got any hints from the scoff that brushed his ear. But he hadn’t dropped Craig, which meant he was probably just as caring and kind on the inside as…Mini squeezed his eyes tighter, leaning back into the officer holding him. But when he spoke, it was for someone who was miles away. “God, I missed you.” 

“What are you doing out here?”

“Iunno. Some guy dragged me out here for something,” he murmured, hearing a growl of annoyance that made him smile.

“You idiot, what kind of answer-”

“It’s been so long since…since we’ve done this.” He didn’t care if his pathetic mumbling was spilled to a reporter and plastered on a tabloid next week; he just needed to let it out. Years of longing, being alone in a crowd of thousands, searching for his breaking point. Decades of just not knowing where his life was headed, or when he’d stop spinning so high, when he’d crash and burn into the ground. Who would stand by Mini in the wreckage? 

He would have, probably. Because he had given Craig his nights and attention before anyone even knew his stupid name. What would he think of Mini, now? 

The decade of radio silence gave the answer he didn’t want to hear. 

“Everything okay down there? Need me to come help haul him to the car?” The call of another officer from the beach’s side road threatened to break the dream-like state of Craig’s moment, and he groaned in protest before pressing closer to his source of warmth. 

“Nah, I’ve got him. No need to call it in.” But just like his old friend would have done, this officer, this stranger, had protected Mini.

“Do ya now? This one’s special to ya, is he?” There was a tease somewhere in the tone, but Mini didn’t open his eyes to investigate. 

“Shut up, Hanby.  Take a drive down the rest of the road and see if anyone else is around. If you can find the punk who bailed when we pulled up, cuff him. I know where this idiot lives.”

“How are you planning on getting home after helping your new friend out?” 

“I was off the clock ten minutes ago; I don’t gotta tell you shit. Now get moving.” The banter was swimming in Craig’s ears, but the thumb that brushed against his hip bone melted his brain too much to butt in.  

“Oh, there’s definitely a story here. Be ready to share it with Fong and Del over coffee tomorrow. Can’t wait, buddy.” A warm laugh echoed against the night sky when the other officer moved away, and Craig’s ear picked up on the rocks shifting under the car’s tires when it pulled away. 

“Fuck, he’s almost as big of a pain as you.” The words were sharp and warm against Craig’s ear, and he felt his body shudder from something deeper than the cold. 

“God.” This cop even sounded like him. His eyes burned behind closed lids as he let out a wet laugh, nuzzling his nose into the collar of the officer. Maybe it’d get him arrested for indecent behavior in public, but he smelt like smoked wood, motor oil, and him. Or what he’d smelt like as a teenager, maybe. The details were so fuzzy now; was he just blending this person with his past to make himself feel better? Mini’s mind sloshed over new thoughts like waves, barreling into the shore of his reality with no intention to break. 

“Let’s get you home.” But before he could take a step, before the stranger could finally break the final thread of Mini’s mirage of happiness, he spoke.

“I miss him.” A sob pushed out over his laugh, head useless against the tense shoulder behind him. “I miss us, how we…sat at the ocean, talked and…and…I just felt loved, maybe. Not like now. I don’t know if he ever felt…it’s been so long since…since I’ve been happy. You just feel like love, mr…mr. officer-sir-man. You feel like Tyler, and it’s…been so long since I’ve seen him. Since I’ve had him by my side. My whole side’s missing, it’s…he’s gone. And here I am, drunk and probably arrested and in love with a ghost. Tyler would hate me now-”

“Shit.” The grip around his waist tightened for a moment, but Mini didn’t mind the squeeze. It grounded him in a way nobody had in years. The alcohol was doing a bang up job of messing with his head, as it tried to convince him the officer’s next words were mumbled against his forehead. “Brock’s gonna be impossible to deal with when he finds out he was right. Fuck.” 

“Hey, I…I have a Brock, too.” Craig laughed and then slumped, a crest of fatigue finally rolling into him. “He’s always right, good guy. He’d make a good wife for me.” 

“Wait, what-”

“Cept can’t marry him when I love Tyler. Life would probably…be easier if I just forgot him. But, I can’t.” He yawned and accepted he’d end up in the cell by the morning, giving all his weight to the officer holding him. “I’m gonna pass out now. Thanks for…being here.” 

“I should have been here before, idiot, I-.”  Whatever else came next, Craig didn’t hear, his mind slipping into sleep. 

He didn’t know that Officer Tyler Wine carried him home. Not to the house with strangers, but to his mother’s house three miles away. The one right across the street from the house Tyler himself had bought from his parents three years ago. He didn’t know Tyler was still in his city, still driving their streets, still sitting on their beaches, reminiscing. He didn’t know Tyler had refused to reach out in case Craig no longer needed a local boy that didn’t shine in the limelight. That he’d ignored their friend’s advice, kept his nose in his work, pretended he wasn’t missing a part of himself. 

And Mini didn’t know that he’d still be there when Craig woke up the next morning. 

[fallstreakfeathers]

Don’t Look Down, Chapter 2, Rating: T ~4100 words Warnings: none https://archiveofourown.org/works/23956846/chapters/60761470

If Kita thought the brightness of the moon was overbearing inside the extravagant building, it was nothing compared to being in its direct path. She squinted against the pale beams as she stepped out of the doorway after the white haired demon. His pace was fast, as if he was trying to lose her, and she had to take two or three steps for his every one. She could hear him grumbling lowly about something, but couldn’t be bothered to listen closer. In fact, she wished he’d just close his stupid, too-loud mouth. The soft calls of some kind of animal hidden in the treeline caught her attention and she slowed herself to peer through the ever looming darkness, not that it was overly difficult with the moon hanging in the sky like some kind of sentinel. The green leaves swayed lightly in the breeze. The wind sent small ripples through the field of grass. It was only then that she noticed the scent of living plantlife. A group of small creatures fluttered from the branches, startled by the couple trespassing below them. She blinked slowly. Birds? There was not a trace of sulfur, fire, or death on the air. She stepped over a group of small blue flowers she couldn’t identify. The spotted leaves were jagged, with some sort of liquid oozing from the stems. “Hey, human! What’re ya staring at? Ya never seen flowers before? Pick up the pace!”

Kita said nothing as she placed her footsteps a bit faster. She kept her head down, abandoning her plan to run as light from the lamps that lined the streets glowed bright against the wet pavement. “Can’t believe those jerks left me to babysit you alone.” There’s no way she’d get out of here without knowing where she was going. Did she really expect things to be that easy? Of course not, only an idiot would think that. I’m an idiot. She felt like a prisoner being escorted to her own execution, and the feeling was only made stronger as she caught the curious and hungry eyes of various demons on the streets. Those in the lights of the street appeared human, or mostly so, but a few hid in the shadows and their forms shifted and flittered as they stared. One of these feral creatures approached the group, prowling like some kind of cat, only to scamper away when Mammon growled a guttural, throaty sound. Kita cringed. The short display almost reminded her of those silly groups of kids in her school years who pretended to be dogs or sometimes horses. Of course, she was the local velociraptor in those days, and occasionally a Tyrannosaur. The only difference was the very real threat behind the noise bubbling from the demon’s chest. “You were full of piss n’ vinegar earlier, what’s with the silence?” She released a heavy breath as she continued to pretend he didn’t exist. Earlier she was terrified, now she was just exhausted. If she stayed quiet and kept her head down, if she didn’t make eye contact, then everything would be fine. He’d eventually leave her alone. That’s how it always was. She sneered at the demon that glanced at her ever-so-often and the not-so-quite grumbling that traveled back to her on the wind as they stopped in front of a swooping steel gate with a dry “we’re here.” Kita squinted at the towering building behind it. The mansion almost appeared to have multiple shacks stacked on top of it, along with castle-like spires. Beside it stood a tall, black tree with branches that reached towards the moon. The whole area looked like something out of an old vampire movie. So… demons really like over-the-top crap? Mammon placed his hands on the gate, pushing it open. It swung wide with a creak. “I don’t believe this,” he muttered, “of all the rotten, unfair luck.” She rolled her eyes while he continued to complain with his hands on his hips. “Why do I have to look after some stupid human? It’s insulting! And just so we’re clear, it’s not like I can’t say no to Lucifer, alright!?” Kita sighed, remembering once more that she not only had to survive the year in an entirely different world, but also was going to have to deal with 7 demon lords who, if they were consistent, were all over-dramatic assholes. What did she do to anger God enough that he’d allow this sort of misfortune? “I only agreed to babysit you because…” he babbled “... well. Um, you know...uh…” “I don’t care,” she whispered wearily.

“What?” the demon shouted, “oh! Now you’re really in for it you stupid… although I’m sorta surprised you’ve got the guts to talk to me like that. You should be scared.” What about her behavior implied that she wasn’t? Did she really come off as if she were delighted to be in his presence? “I mean, I’m a demon. Even a human would get that, right?”

She pushed past him onto the stone path that led to the doorsteps of the mansion What makes you any more dangerous than literally anything I could be killed by in my own world? “You’re seriously weird,” he shook his head as he pushed the door open, “whatever, come on then.” Kita glanced around the heavily decorated hallway as the door clicked shut behind her. The high walls were patterned with purple and silver paper. A long plush carpet led from the front entrance and under a wooden archway into another room. A cheery fireplace could be seen at the far end of the room, glinting off the polished wood floors and filling the area with a sweet, smoky scent. Two dragon-like gargoyles stood guard at the front of the hall, with a marble staircase winding behind them both, up into another hall. All in all, the two rooms alone looked like they cost more than she’d ever make in her lifetime. Kita felt even more out of place than she had on the Devildom streets. “This is the House of Lamentation,” Mammon said. He waved vaguely at the space around them, “it’s one of the dorms here at R.A.D.” Yes. It wasn’t like the prince hadn’t clarified that at least four times. “Well, not just one of the dorms. It’s the dorm reserved for student council members.” Kita simply nodded. The sooner he finished talking, the sooner she’d be taken to her room and then (hopefully) left alone. “The others take every opportunity to insult me,” he prattled, as he led her through the hall “callin’ me scum and money-grubber and shit like that… But I’m an officer on the student council too! The elite of the elite. Top of the social pyramid.” He turned to her. “In other words, I’m a big shot! A real big shot! Even regular big shots are impressed by what a big shot I am!” Big ego is more like it. “By the way, Diavolo is even more of a big shot. He’s so important he’s got his own castle.” “I figured he would...you all call him ‘prince’.” If I have to hear the words ‘big shot’ one more time, I’m finding a thesaurus and throwing it at his stupid face. “Right… anyway, the long and short of it is that us seven brothers live here together and-...hey, what's with that expression? If you’ve got somethin’ to say, you’d best do it now.” Kita blinked. Was she making weird looks? “Sorry,” she muttered, “you all call each other ‘brothers’ but you look nothing like each other.”

“That’s really what you’re wonderin’ about? We aren’t brothers in the human sense,” he shrugged, “it’s more like we share a title, we’ve fought together, live together, yadda yadda, ya get it?” “Sure.” “Seriously, you got a personality thing or somethin’?”

Does he ever shut up?

“Doesn’t matter, “ he continued, “I’m gonna give you a piece of advice, and you’d better listen up 'cause I won’t repeat myself.”

She spotted movement from the corner of her eye as the demon spoke, and she glanced to the staircase where another demon stalked down the marble steps. His eyes burned an angry yellow-orange that peeked out from under the light purple fringes of his hair. He was clearly taller than her. Of course he was. Were demons just naturally this tall? “If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re about to be attacked by a demon, you need to either run or just die.” What? Kita gawked at him in disbelief. The yellow-eyed demon reached the bottom step, glaring as he continued to move behind Mammon. “Are you serious?!” “Yes.” Kita frowned and then snorted. “So just die, then?” “Actually, I vote for you to die, Mammon!”

“Ah! Levi!” the demon yelped, “didn’t see ya there. I...Uhh...L-Listen up here, human! This here is Leviathan, Avatar of Envy. He’s the third oldest of us brothers.” The demon grinned brightly as he spoke, “his name’s sorta hard to say, so you can just call him Levi!” “Uh...no thanks,” Kita deadpanned. Nicknames were reserved for friends. Nicknames meant something. They were special, and not to be given to people who didn’t want to be around her in the first place. She refused to call anyone who wasn’t at least a friend anything short of their name. Besides, ‘Leviathan’ really wasn’t that difficult to pronounce. “Suit yourself.” “Mammon, give me back my money,” Leviathan growled, “then go crawl in a hole and die!” Woah. That was...unnecessary. Kita’s eyebrows scrunched as he flung insults at the white haired demon. “I’ll get it to you, I already told ya. I just need more time,” Mammon shrugged. “More time?! You’ve been telling me you need ‘more time’ for the last two hundred years!” She nearly choked on her spit. Two hundred years? These people were at least two hundred years old? “Hey, no! It’s been two hundred and sixty,” Mammon corrected, “get it right.” This got a small, amused laugh out of her and she quickly covered her mouth as the two demons turned their attention to her. For creatures supposedly hundreds of years old, they sure acted like children. Leviathan shook his head as he grumbled. “Seriously, Mammon, you’re-” “I’m what?” he snapped, “scum? Is that what you’re gonna say?” “You’re a lowlife and a waste of space,” the Avatar of Envy finished with a snarl. Alright, now I just feel kinda bad for him. Kita winced. Nobody should have to deal with being spoken to like that, especially by their own family… brother-in-arms? Sharer of titles? Whatever. “I couldn’t pay you back anyway, I don’t have the money.” “So you’re saying you refuse to pay me back?” “You lookin’ for a fight? Is that it?!” Oh my God. I’m gonna have to listen to this for an entire year. Mammon suddenly turned to Kita again. “Hey, human. Ya know how I told you what to do when a demon attacks? You’re about to witness that for real so…” he paused for a moment, “time for you to die, ‘cause if it’s gonna be you or me, it ain’t gonna be me!” “Wait,” Leviathan said, “ I thought you said-” Mammon smirked at her, and almost as fast as she could blink, he disappeared up the stairs. “-that asshole! He ran off!” Leviathan shook his head in disappointment. “You get what happened, right? He used you as a sacrifice.” “Somehow, that does not surprise me,” Kita snorted. “I’ll admit that Mammon is one of the scummiest scumbags you’ll ever meet,” the demon said, “a total lowlife, but that was still pretty dumb of you for letting him use you like that, I mean this is exactly why humans are-” For the love of all that is holy...unholy...do they all talk this much? “Wait!” he exclaimed, “ you’re human! That gives me an idea.” Why did she feel like this was a bad thing? “Can it wait until tomorrow?” she asked gingerly. “Nope. You’re coming with me!” Kita yelped as his hand suddenly gripped her sleeve and he began dragging her up the stairs with him. “Let go,” she barked, pushing her heels into the floor in an attempt to force him to stop. “Quiet!” he hissed as he halted in front of a door. He glanced around nervously before tugging her inside and closing the door. She twisted around, preparing a few choice words regarding her treatment before stopping with her mouth open like a fish out of water. The room she’d been so unceremoniously dragged into was like something out of her wildest dreams. Light shined through what looked like it might be a pool in the ceiling, sending rippled reflections across the tiled floor. Luminescent jellyfish hung vertically, leading down to a porcelain tub with what appeared to be a body pillow laying in it. An enormous aquarium had been slotted into the wall. Coral and various plants poked out of the sandy bottom, and it seemed silly that the only occupant of a tank with such magnitude was a small goldfish.

That was to say nothing of the enormous amount of manga and various figurines placed around the room. In the corner sat what had to be the most computers she’d ever seen in a single house. It... It was pretty badass, she had to admit.

“This is your bedroom?” she asked incredulously. “Uh.. Yeah.” “It’s beautiful.” Leviathan nodded once. “You want to know why I looked around to see if anyone was looking before I closed the door?” “Not particularly but I can take a few guesses.” “Well why do you think I did it? Not that it isn’t totally obvious. Imagine what would happen if someone saw me invite you into my room!” he rambled, “a human who doesn’t even look like an otaku! A normie! Do you know what people would say?” Oh no, he’s one of those kinds. “I don’t honestly care, sorry.” “You should! It’d be insane!” Kita murmured a snide comment to herself as she wandered over to the tall bookshelf by the door. She peered curiously at the unfamiliar, often ridiculously long titles before a thick book with black leather and silver trim caught her attention. “What, human? What are you looking at?” Kita pointed at the book, making sure she didn’t touch it. “Oh, that's The Tale of the Seven Lords! Are you a fan of that too?” He sounded almost...excited? “Not at the moment. I don’t know that we even have it in the human world,” she apologized. “What’s it about?” She must’ve asked something right if the way the demon’s eyes lit up were any indication. “You don’t know TSL? And you call yourself a human?!” “Actually, I call myself ‘Kita’,” she snarked, “you lot seem to be the ones set on the ‘human’ bit.” “Listen, just the fact that you don’t know TSL alone is proof that you’ve been wasting your life!” “Do enlighten me on what I’ve missed,” she snorted. There was something about this one that made him slightly easier to talk to than the others she’d met so far- not that she could put a finger on what it was.

“The Tale of the Seven Lords, TSL, is a series of fantasy novels written by Cristopher Peugeot. It’s a heroic spanning 138 volumes, and the most widely read fantasy series in the world,” he began.

On, and on, and on some more the demon rambled about the book. Books. 138 of them? That was crazy. Do all demons talk this much? Honestly, that’d be true Hell, right there. Skip the burning and rending, just keep talking. Kita listened, not out of any particular interest so much as the excitement in the Avatars voice. She knew what it was like to try to talk to someone about something she liked, only to be ignored or shoved off. She wouldn’t be that person, even to a stranger who’d literally dragged her sorry ass up a flight of stairs. Besides, his energy was somewhat contagious, even if he’d been speaking for at least twenty minutes. “There’s that one really awesome moment where the two of them realize they both like and respect each other, and they high-five! I just love that part,” he jabbered, “I wish I could have a moment like that.” “I’m sure you will,” Kita said. “Wait, you’re still listening to me?” Leviathan gawked. Kita nodded. “Most people’s eyes would’ve glazed over by now…” he said, “uh...oh! Check it out,” he pointed to the aquarium. “See that goldfish there? His name’s Henry. I love TSL so much that I couldn’t help naming him after the main character. I can’t high-five a goldfish though.” “Well you can’t with that attitude,” Kita snickered.

Leviathan frowned, suddenly sullen. “You humans are so lucky,” he said, “you’ve got subscription services that let you watch any anime you want to, you can go to Akihabara whenever you want…” Aki-what? Ah, who cares. “Why do only you guys get to experience the good stuff? I mean humans’ whole concept of pleasure originally came from us demons, you know,” he whined,” so why can’t we take a little of that back now? I want to go to a Japanese maid cafe too, y’know? I want to cosplay as Henry, or go stand in the center of Akihabara, or maybe under that one building in Tokyo that’s shaped like upside-down triangles. Once I’m there, I want to perform Henry’s super powerful signature finishing move for all to see and say the incantation that goes with it!” Is he...Is he breathing? How is he saying all that in one breath?!

“Actually, you know what? I want to be Henry,” he finished.

“Screw normies,” Kita yawned, suddenly aware yet again that she’d been kept up far later than she thought was humane. Of course, these guys were demons. What was she expecting? “Yeah! Screw ‘em!”

The demon frowned again as he spoke. “Alright, enough. This is starting to depress me. I didn’t bring you here to tell you about TSL.” “I was wondering when that would be addressed,” Kita muttered quietly. “I don’t think there’s any harm in coming out and saying what you already know is true: Mammon is a complete, and utter scumbag.” “Got it.” Really, it didn't seem like demons had much of a vocabulary. Not that she had a great one either, but still. “It’s very important that you understand this, so I’ll say it one more time.” “No need, I assure you I understand perfectly. Just… get to the point,” she grumbled, “why am I in here?” “I lent that scumbag money and now I want it back, but being the scumbag that he is, he won’t do it.” “What do you expect me to do about it?” Kita asked, quickly losing patience. She was hungry, she was tired, she was stressed, and a hundred other things already. She wasn’t fond of the idea of spending another hour in the room. “You should probably know how Mammon and I first became enemies.” “I… No. Just get to the point, please,” she sighed. “Fine. As third born, I don’t have a chance to get my money back on my own,” he explained, “but if, say, a human made a pact with Mamon and bound him to their service…” he gave her a pointed look.

“No.” “What? Why not? He’d have to do whatever you told him!” “Not interested.”

“Is it the whole ‘selling your soul’ bit? That’s not always necessary, you know!” Leviathan argued, “it depends on what’s in the pact.” “Not. Interested.” “No, no, just listen, I’ll tell you how to negotiate with Mammon!” Oh, for the love of...

“It’d be useful for you to have him as your servant,” he assured, “despite how awful he is, he’s still very powerful! You’re probably worried being down here in the Devildom, so it’s not like it’s a bad deal for you. Don’t you agree?” “What makes you think I’d even be able to control him? I’m sure pacts aren’t as cut-and-dry as you’re trying to make them sound,” she disagreed. “You’ll do fine.” Sure I would, Kita snorted. She had the authoritative presence of a sea snail. If she couldn’t get other humans to listen to her, what hope did she have of commanding a demon? Much less a demon lord? She wasn’t sure she wanted that sort of power over another being anyway, no matter how obnoxious they were. “Listen,” Kita drawled as she rubbed her eyes, “I’ve had a very long, exhausting, somewhat upsetting day. If you could be so kind as to show me to wherever I’ll be holed up while I’m stuck here, I’ll give you an answer tomorrow when I’ve had time to think and maybe do a little research on what exactly a pact entails because there’s no way in Heaven or Hell that I’ll be doing anything like that until I know precisely how it all works.” Oh dear lord, was Leviathan’s rambling rubbing off on her? Did she take a breath?

“It’s only 3pm,” the demon stated.

“It’s dark.” “We don’t have a sunrise here,” Leviathan explained. What’s shining off the moon, then? Kita wanted to ask. 

She shook her head. It didn’t really matter. “Whatever. I’m still going to bed,” she said,” you can show me to my room or I'll just use the tub.” With a groan and something muttered about “normies”, Leviathan opened the door, motioning her to follow him down the hall. They stopped at the very last door, closest to the window that hung at the end of the corridor. “There’s your room,” Leviathan muttered before walking past her. He disappeared around the corner. Kita exhaled wearily, slowly opening the creaky door. Her shoulders went slack. By the head and foot of the bed stood two trees that stretched themselves against the roof of the room. Lichen hung off the gnarled bark. Some kind of viney plant that looked suspiciously like ivy creeped its way across the stone walls and behind the twirling, curled wooden bedframe. Colorful lanterns hung from the branches, providing light for the room. A smooth table had been placed just behind one of the trees and a group of intricate chairs sat underneath it. Beyond the table, a dresser, as ornate as everything else, held a variety of items on top. A brass skull lay next to a teapot. Hot tea does sound nice right about now. Maybe peppermint...or lavender. Beside the teapot, a group of various books had been stacked along with a small, empty picture frame. Next stood a cabinet that appeared to have been made from a coffin. More books lined one of the shelves, and the top shelf had a small red and gold container. Beside it stood a small horse figurine that reared angrily, and a potted plant rested next to it. In the very center of the room hung a twisted rust-colored chandelier. Open flamed candles burned off the twigs branching from the frame. Is that safe with all the wood here? Two decorated rugs crossed each other over the old and worn flooring. Aside from the color of the pillows and sheets, various shades of light pinks, the room was right up her alley. Kita ran a hand over the silky coverings on the bed, wanting nothing more than to fall face-first into the cloudlike softness of the pillows lined against the headboard. But that’s where they’d expect to find her. That’s where these strangers would expect to find her, defenseless, vulnerable as she rested. Kita mumbled to herself as she searched for somewhere else in the room to sleep. Under the table was a no-go. She wouldn’t fit under the bed, and between the mattress wouldn’t work either. She ruffled through the plant at the edge of the bed, frowning at the lack of space between its branches and the wall. It left a small, cramped crawl space that she might’ve been able to fit into if she bothered to break a few of the twigs. She’d keep it in mind. Kita glanced around the room anxiously. A large air vent protruded out near the top of the wall. There was no way she’d be able to get to that. Finally, her sight landed on the large tree by the headboard of the bed. She curled her hand into the bark, pulling to test its durability. When it held, she began hoisting herself up the ivy and lichen, grunting with the effort as she reached the first branches. She continued climbing into the leaves until they covered her completely, settling flat on a large limb and clutching the main body of the tree with an exhausted sigh. I hope this thing doesn’t have spiders or something.

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to take her.

[that-cunning-mind]

The Untitled Chuckie Sputterspark Origin Fanfic Pt.1

(Guess who wrote a fanfic for the first time in years lmao...

Read below if you want to see my take on how @based-ducks​ and me thought up of Quackervolt fankid Chuckie Sputterspark’s origin...somewhat)

As the crisp, evening air descended upon the moonlit shadows of St. Canard, a particular purplish protector of the poor found himself investigating a case of deductive interest. A case of shadowy intrigue and mystery. A case that would decide the future of St. Canard in its epic battle between good and evil.

A case of price gouging tickets at a pizza arcade.  

“Twenty dollars for an adult ticket and twelve for kids over ten years old? Why these crooked capitalist crooks, thinking they can force parents to come in here and charge them extra! I should just quit SHUSH and open up one of these places myself! I’ll be richer than Glomgold!” Part-time superhero and full-time parent Drake Mallard grumbled under his breath as he handed over his card to the tired teenager manning the cashier. His daughter, Gosalyn, was busy putting on the paper bracelets on herself and her other father, Launchpad McQuack. 

“It can’t be that profitable,” Gosalyn said, “I mean, they’re taking out all of their animatronics! Can you imagine Pepper Panda’s Pizza Pagoda without Pepper Panda and the Pie Gang? I tell ya, there’s gonna be rioting in the streets after tonight! RIOTS!!!” Launchpad, not expecting the outburst, startled and ripped his flimsy paper bracelet. 

“Eheheh,” he laughed nervously, “you guys got any tape or...”

“Ten dollars to replace any missing or broken bracelets,” said the cashier. 

Launchpad turned to his husband with big puppy-dog eyes, a method that tended to work about 99% of the time. Drake grumbled some more as he took a solitary bill out of his wallet. 

“If it wasn’t for our case,” Drake whispered harshly as they walked inside the pizza eatery, “I’d leave you outside in the car.” 

“Aww,” Launchpad pouted, “but you know how much I love coming here! Plus, I know how much the animatronics scare you, DW.”

Drake scoffed. “Scared? The daring duck detective isn’t scared of any cheaply-made robot! Drakey Mallard, on the other hand, never recovered from that time he thought Cheddar Charles was going to bite him at Elmo Sputterspark’s tenth birthday party.” As he spoke, a run down animatronic of a child-sized rat in blue overalls and a yellow shirt sprang to life, scaring Drake into Launchpad’s arms. Gosalyn just rolled her eyes and sighed. 

A crackly speaker from the animatronic known as Cheddar Charles started. “Hey kids! Pepper Panda and Pie Gang’s Nighttime Spectacular is about to start in ten minutes! Grab a seat now!”

“I’ll go grab us a table,” yelled Gosalyn as she ran to a booth. 

Launchpad let Drake climb off of him, then sniffed and wiped away a tear. “I can’t believe it, after forty years the Pie Gang is going away for good!”

“Launchpad, the case? Remember the case?” asked Drake. 

“Buh-“

“We’re here to stakeout the joint and lie in wait for that nefarious thief, Dr. Anna Matronic! Dishonorably discharged from the Imagineers, that raving robotics rascal will be using the Pie Gang’s farewell show to unveil her deadly creations. Little does she know that I, Darkwing Duck, will be waiting for her! Now, any questions?”

“Uhh, can we order the extra-large with cheese?” 

Drake simply sighed as he moved to sit down on the sticky seat. 

“Gee DW, what makes you think she’ll show up with all these people around?” asked Launchpad. 

“Because, as a former Imagineer, she’ll no doubt want to watch such a historic show one last time. Although, I can’t imagine what kind of psyche an adult must have to want to watch Pepper Panda and the Pie Gang willingly.” 

———

“Come on Megsy! I’m not gonna miss Pepper Panda and the Pie Gang’s final performance because of you!” 

Little did Darkwing Duck know that behind the scenes, his two mortal enemies Quackerjack and Megavolt would be attempting to watch the show as well. However, they were taking a break from their usual crimes and attempting to have their monthly date night, per Quackerjack’s insistence on coming to see the last hurrah of the animatronics he grew up watching. Megavolt, meanwhile, was trying to carry leftover pizza boxes up the scaffolding over the stage as he and Quackerjack prepared to take their seats. 

“You know, I think I kinda remember coming here as a kid,” said Megavolt. Quackerjack was surprised to hear this, as it was rare for Megavolt to remember anything before his fateful transformation into Megavolt. He pressed on with a simple, “Oh?”, demonstrating a rare moment of selfless interest. 

“Yeah,” Megavolt continued, “I think I had a birthday party here once. Mom forced me to invite everyone in my class, so I spent most of the day playing with the animatronics. I even got Cheddar Charles to almost bite this one duck, Jake. Or was it Lake...” Megavolt trailed off as his train of thought was derailed yet again.

“You must have been quite the kid growing up, a public nuisance in the making,” laughed Quackerjack. He looked off to the side in an almost wistful manner. “Though if I was a parent, I wouldn’t force you to hang out with any snot-nosed brats that stuck their faces into an arcade game!” Megavolt twitched, deciding not to tell Quackerjack that he definitely remembered sticking his face into arcade games as a kid, one of the happiest moments in an otherwise bullied childhood. 

But more importantly, Megavolt picked up on Quackerjack’s wistful tone and cursed himself internally for bringing up his childhood. “Come on Quacky,” he whined, “we’ve been through this already. We can’t just-“ 

“Well, so what?” interrupted Quackerjack, “It’s just not fair! Lots of kids have parents that go to jail!” 

“Yeah, but their parents aren’t criminal masterminds guilty of trespassing, theft, vandalism, and littering!” 

Quackerjack pouted, “You throw a banana peel on the ground one time...”

“I’m serious Quacky,” Megavolt frowned, “we can’t just bring a kid into the super-villain business! Do you want to be like Dorkwing and have a pipsqueak get in our way?” 

“Need I remind you,” hissed Quackerjack, “that his pipsqueak is fully capable of handling herself?”

“Ugh,” shuddered Megavolt, “don’t. Remind. Me. I still have the bruise marks from the last hostage attempt...”

“See?! The two of us could totally take care of a kid! All a kid really needs is food, a loving home, a pocket grenade...,” Quackerjack droned on, almost forgetting the point of his argument. Megavolt had to snap him back to reality if he was ever going to finish this conversation. 

“Hey don’t get me wrong, it’d be nice to have some kids that aren’t just the poor, enslaved bulbs of St. Canard,” said Megavolt. “But, don’t tell me you aren’t the tiniest bit worried of screwing the kid up?” At this, Quackerjack pursed his lips and went uncharacteristically still, not daring to look at Megavolt in the eye.  

“Besides,” Megavolt continued, “what if we go to jail without it? How would a normal kid protect itself? What if F.O.W.L or Negaduck found out about them and-“

“Oh alright fine! You’ve made your point, gloomy pants!” Megavolt shut his mouth quickly, turning to get a slice of week-old pizza and hopefully move on from this talk. Quackerjack pulled out his beloved Mr. Banana Brain, in an effort to calm himself before his temper took over. “Some date night this is! I’ve seen better chemistry in a high school science lab!” 

“Butt out, banana boy!” Megavolt grumbled. “Great, could this date get any worse?” 

The explosion that rocked the building answered that question. 

———

The duck family ducked under their table as dust filled the room, sending screaming families in a panic. A giant hole had opened up in front of the stage, and from it rose a goose in a purple trench-coat honking maliciously. This was-

“Dr. Matronic!” Drake shielded Gosalyn behind himself as Dr. Matronic climbed onto the stage. 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” she cried out, “children of all ages! To all who come to this happy place, Pepper Panda’s Pizza Pagoda is now MY Pizza Pagoda! Which means the animatronics are now mine to keep! Mwahonkhonkhonk!”

Gosalyn stuck out her tongue in disgust. “Ugh, you call that an evil laugh? A baby would sound more menacing than that!” 

“Never mind that now,” said Drake, “we’ve got to get these people out of here! Launchpad, Gosalyn, evacuate the building while I keep her busy.” With a plan of action in place, the daring duck of mystery went off to find a broom closet to change in. Unfortunately, it was a very tight squeeze, as Drake tried to change and avoid the brooms at the same time. 

“This night couldn’t possibly get worse...,” muttered Drake. 

——

“Megavolt! That stupid doctor just ruined our date night!” Quackerjack’s temper had come out in full force, and now he was ready to let it all out. 

“The nerve of some people! I mean, who breaks into a pizza parlor and steals the animatronics??” Megavolt yelled. Sparks started to fly as he locked onto the target of his ire, who was beginning to disassemble the helpless robots. “D’ohhh! Well at least it can’t get any worse.”

The blue smoke cloud that burst out answered that. 

“Gah! Will you stop saying that!” shouted Quackerjack. 

“I am the terror that flaps in the night!”

“I am the cheese pizza that burns on the taste buds of crime! I am Darkwing Duck!” Like clockwork, the purple caped crusader appeared out of the smoke. 

“Oh no. It’s Darkwing Duck. Whatever shall I do,” said Dr. Matronic, not intimidated in the slightest. Failing to frighten his foe, Darkwing pulled out his gas gun as his mood worsened. 

“Listen here doc! I may not like these rusty robots, but there’s no way I’ll let you take them away! Now suck gas, evildoer! Schpadoink!” As he shot off a canister of knockout gas, a Dalmatian puppy came out from behind Dr. Matronic and caught the canister, throwing it away from the doctor. 

“What the-!” 

“So,” Dr. Matronic grinned maliciously, “you don’t like rusty robots, eh? Well, I’m sure you’ll find that they have their uses!” Dr. Matronic pulled a walkie-talkie from her coat, and yelled, “Code 101: ATTACK!!” 

From the crevice, a noise of barking and howling approached, growing louder and louder until from out of the hole, one hundred robotic Dalmatians came bursting out. 

Darkwing gulped, hoping to hide his nervousness. “Alright, you digital dog deviants, prepare to face the might of Dark-AAAACK!!” The dogs never let him finish, immediately pouncing on Darkwing and biting everything that belonged to the flapping terror. 

“WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND DALMATIANS!!!” 

“Well, since you’re tied up at the moment, I might as well explain my origin story,” said Dr. Matronic as she got to work detaching the Pie Gang from the stage. “You see, those Imagineer fools said it was impossible to make one hundred and one animatronics! They said it was too expensive! That I was a lunatic! Well who’s laughing now, huh?! Mwahonkhon-AHH!” 

Before the doctor could finish her evil laugh, a bolt of electricity from behind the stage curtain zapped her and sent her flying off the stage. In her hands she grasped the Cheddar Charles figurine, the remote controlling the chaotic canines flying off somewhere else. 

Megavolt stepped out onto the stage, a wide manic grin on his face as his hands lit up. “Well, looks like we’re the ones laughing now, and much better at it too! Aheeheeheeheee!” With a flick of a wrist, Megavolt shot another electric bolt at the pack of piranha-like puppies, putting a stop to their attack on the poor, punctured defender in purple as they scattered off.  

“Th-thanks for that...Megavolt,” Darkwing said shakily, as he attempted to stand up and not jostle his wounds at the same time. “Wait a minute, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! I swear, if that lunatic toy-maker Quackerjack is here too I’ll-“

What Darkwing would do, Megavolt would never know, for at that moment Quackerjack decided to introduce himself with one of his patented exploding toys. Laughing maniacally, he took out his signature mallet as he attempted to stomp out any robot trying to attack him. Dr. Matronic began turning her attention towards the most annoying threat in the room, directing robot after robot at Quackerjack. 

“What, did all the freaks decide to come out tonight?!” yelled Dr. Matronic, as she whipped out a small flamethrower aimed at Quackerjack. The jester merely giggled and blew raspberries as he dodged all of her flame attacks. Darkwing and Megavolt, however, were not as lucky, and had to hide behind an overturned table to avoid the flames. 

“Oh great,” sighed Darkwing, “the cherry on top of my already lousy sundae. Could this possibly get any worse?” Megavolt let out a yipe and braced himself. 

“Uhh, you alright there Mega-,” asked Darkwing, before Megavolt clasped a hand around his bill. 

“Don’t say that again! The universe has been more vindictive than usual today whenever somebody says that!”

“Alright alright, I’ll stop! Now, either help get me rid of this riddle-some ridicule of our rights, or GET OUT!” Megavolt’s train of thought got back on track, his temper overtaking him as he remembered his terrible night. 

“Uhh, Sparky-“ said Darkwing, before a stray bolt from Megavolt zapped him away as the electric rodent turned back to Dr. Matronic. 

“YOU RUINED DATE NIGHT!!!” roared Megavolt. Darkwing was dumbfounded, for once Megavolt hadn’t responded to his hated nickname of Sparky. Dr. Matronic began to worry, as she was inexperienced against the full force of the Quackervolt duo. Darkwing stepped back, hoping to get the upper hand as the villains fought each other when who should appear but Gosalyn.

“Don’t worry Darkwing, I’ll help ya!” cried Gosalyn. 

“Gosalyn, NO!” Darkwing dived towards his daughter, shielding her from the wayward flames with his cape as he caught the full brunt of the attack. Dr. Matronic took the time to gloat evilly at her fallen foe. 

“Well well well, guess the Pizza Pagoda is serving roast duck tonight! MWAHAHAHAH! How’s that for an evil laugh, by the way?” In her distraction, she failed to notice Megavolt and Quackerjack charging up the remaining animatronics, bringing them back to life. 

“Hey lady, ever heard of the Bite of ‘87!?” they both yelled. 

“The Bite of ‘87? That’s just a-“ Dr. Matronic looked back and saw the looming, terrifying animatronics trudging towards her. She gulped.

“...Just a myth,” she finished quietly. 

As the robots began their attack, Launchpad came in and helped Darkwing to his feet. “Gee DW, how’re we gonna stop those three?” 

“Oww, can’t we jus’...let ‘em kill each other?” Darkwing meekly asked. 

Gosalyn, guilty over her father’s second degree burns, tried to remember about any useful information pertaining to the animatronics. 

“Well, I read online that old robots used to explode from time to time...” she suggested. Inspiration struck Darkwing, reaching into his pockets for a special gas canister. 

“Launchpad, hand me my gas gun!”  With his weapon in hand, Darkwing loaded up the canister and aimed between the animatronics. “Get behind that column,” he motioned. 

Megavolt, taking a break from the action that was almost too exciting to put in words, took a side glance to see Darkwing’s fan club hiding behind a concrete column. As he wondered what was going on, the duck pulled out his gas gun and yelled, “hey Dr. Matronic, see if your pooches can stop this knockout gas!” 

Darkwing shot out the canister towards the animatronics and quickly took cover. As planned, Dr. Matronic took aim with her flamethrower, unable to tell the difference between knockout gas and explosive gas. 

FWOOSH! 

KABAM!! 

“SHPOOSH-“

“Dad! Do ya have t’ make sound effects right now?” 

“Oh, right, sorry,” Darkwing sheepishly said. “Well, better make sure no one died or anything.” As the smoke dissipated, he could see Dr. Matronic knocked out on the ground, singed and certainly not triumphant. Quackerjack, who had tried to run from the explosion, was somehow still standing, albeit close to passing out at any second. Behind them, all of the animatronics were nothing more than scrap, their somewhat cute faces now melted and resembling characters in a subpar horror video game franchise. 

Megavolt was nowhere to be seen. 

“Uh-oh, Megavolt?” The prospect of being arrested for manslaughter began to unnerve Darkwing.  “Hey Quackster, you seen your boyfriend anywhere?” 

The only thing Quackerjack heard through his concussion was ‘Megavolt’, and tried to snap out of his daze as best as he could. 

“Megsy! Sparky-poo, where are you!? Ooooh, I’m gonna get you for this Darkwing Duck!” But before Quackerjack could get him, the sound of police sirens could be heard in the distance. 

“Mmm, but maybe not today,” said Quackerjack, and then took out Mr. Banana Brain. “Time to hit the road, Toad,” he said in a falsetto voice. 

“MEGAVOLT! See you at the hideout!” And Quackerjack ran backstage, toppling over Launchpad who had attempted to catch him. 

“Ah geez, sorry DW, he got away. Should we go after him?”

“Nah,” said Darkwing, “I’ve got enough on my plate with Miss Robot over here. Also I gotta make sure Megavolt didn’t explode or something,...”

“Ughhh,” groaned Dr. Matronic, “that’s DOCTOR- wait. The animatronics! What have you done to them you fiend?!” Before she could freak out entirely, the police came in, slapping handcuffs on her and leading her away. 

“Why I say I say, ah-thank you Mr. Duck sir.” 

The team looked back and saw a rotund rooster in a tacky pizza print suit come up to them, taking Darkwing’s hand and shaking it profusely. “I am the owner of this here establishment, Rolan N. Dough the Third, thought you may call me Mr. Dough. I must congratulate you sir on a job well done!” 

“Ah-yep, yep, yep, all in a day’s work for Darkwing Duck, Mr. Dough!”

“So you’re not mad that he blew up your animatronics?” piped up Gosalyn. Darkwing hurriedly placed his hand over her bill, “Gosalyn! Ix-nay on the obot-ray! Ahaha, kids...” 

“On the contrary, Mr. Duck, I’m overjoyed! Thanks to you, I’m gonna save a fortune on properly preserving those robotic freaks! And receive a rather sizable insurance check! A nice little profit for today’s events!” 

Darkwing soured, remembering his distaste for the Pizza Pagoda once more. “You’re welcome, sir.”  

“I simply must reward you! How does a coupon for a free pizza sound?” 

Launchpad’s stomach rumbled at the sound of that. “Gee DW, can we cash it in now?” 

Darkwing sighed, “Fine, fine, we’re not coming back here anytime soon.”

As Launchpad and Mr. Dough made their way to the pizza station, Darkwing crouched down to check on Gosalyn for any injuries. 

“You ok?” he asked. “I mean, aside from seeing your favorite pizzeria in ruins that is?” 

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I’m just sad the Pie Gang met their end like that.”

“Well it’s an Italian eatery owned by a Southerner themed around China, it was bound to end horribly. You gotta admit though, it was a pretty cool explosion.”

“Okay yeah, it was pretty cool. I mean the way that flamethrower just went GWOOSH and the canister was like SCHPAAAAM! Not too bad from Darkwing and his helpful sidekicks, huh?”

“Oh, that reminds me, you’re still in trouble for running in like that.”

“WHAT? Daaa-uh, I mean, Darkwiiiing!” The two walked away, preparing to stop Launchpad from spending more than $50 on pizza. 

“Hmm, I feel like I’m forgetting something though,” said Darkwing.

“Ah well, I’m sure it was nothing important,” reassured Gosalyn. 

———

In the subterranean hole where Dr. Matronic had come from, Megavolt had begun to regain consciousness, slowly sitting up as he willed the surroundings to stop spinning. 

“Owwww, that’s it, next date night will be at the mini golf...” 

From below, he could hear the faint voice of Quackerjack at hysterics, then fading away. Then he heard the shrill voice of Dr. Matronic screaming over the ruined animatronics. Megavolt perked up, remembering the explosion with clarity now. 

“NO NO NO! The animatronics! Darkwing Duck and that stupid doctor lady ruined my childhood! This is worse than that reboot of my favorite movie with an all-female cast! Why I oughta-OW!!”

In his rage, Megavolt failed to notice an object in his path, and stubbed his already fragile toe against it. He was prepared to blast it to smithereens, when he noticed something familiar about the object. 

Something metallic. 

“Wait...it can’t be,” he muttered. He crouched down, digging through the rubble until the object was set free. It was Cheddar Charles, banged up a little but perfectly intact. 

“Oh you poor thing,” Megavolt cooed, “you must’ve fallen down here after that mean old Darkwing blew us up!” He cradled the orphaned robotic mouse in his arms, feeling his paternal instinct flare up as he gently dusting the dirt off of it. A ghost of a childhood memory panged within him, recalling a time in his life when he felt safe and loved, unaware of the harsh realities of life that would face him later on.

Was it too insane to believe that he could pass that love on to something else?

He loved Quackerjack. He loved his life of lightbulb liberation. But if Megavolt was honest with himself, maybe there was something nice to the whole family concept. Maybe the idea of taking care of something and watching it grow with someone he loved seemed exciting to him. Maybe Darkwing had the right idea about having a kid sidekick-

Nope. It’d be a cold, day in Hell before Megavolt would admit to being jealous of Darkwing Duck. 

He took out one of his trusty light bulbs to illuminate the scene, when an idea came to him. 

“Wait a minute,” he said, “Quacky and I want a kid. This little guy doesn’t have a family anymore. That means...that means! Wait, where was I going with this?”

The Cheddar Charles let out a shock, charging up Megavolt once more. 

“Oh right! Welcome to the family, new son! This is gonna turn out way better than that time I split Darkwing into two.” He took his son into his arms, already bonding with the temporarily lifeless robot. 

“But ya know, Cheddar Charles is kinda long for a name. How about I call you...Chuckie!” 

------

Meanwhile, on the other side of town…

“OH MY GOD,” cried out Drake Mallard, “I BLEW UP MEGAVOLT!”

[k-renne]

HELPLESSNESS BLUES - CRACK UP

Your mother always told you to stay away from wolves, wolves like the Logan family who always seemed to be up to no good. It was only natural as a local farmer, you had to protect your livestock. Farmers just weren’t in the company of befriending werewolves.

A/N: This chapter has some heavy angst and then smut, with some abo nonsense

“What do you think they’re up to by now?”Jimmy said to Mellie. 

“Oh, I don’t think that’s something I want to imagine. Those two are probably gonna be at it all night.” 

Jimmy laughed, “Yeah, I did not miss the way he was looking at her. Did I tell you how many boxes of tissues we’ve gone through in the past month?” He shook his head. 

Mellie cringed, “That I definitely don’t wanna know.” 

“He seems so much happier, I’m real happy he found someone.” Jimmy grins. 

“Me too, but farmgirl’s family does worry me.”

He let out a heavy sigh, “Yeah, they could be a problem.” 

Back at the farm you had locked yourself up in your room, you refused to talk to your father and your mother who had driven up as soon as she heard the news. You were much more focused with the window, the dark trees under the moon. The farm didn’t seem to matter to you tonight, you just wanted Clyde to be safe. And that meant he had to stay away, at all costs. 

You knew he would come for you, but so did your father. He made you a cruel promise, Clyde could stand outside your window for as long as he liked but the moment you made any attempt to go to him he’d meet a bullet. 

“Mother you can’t let him do this,” You tried to appeal to her reason. 

“I will not let my daughter go off with a monster, honey you were supposed to find and marry a nice boy. A human. This is all for your own good, you’ll see that someday.” She kept her tone even as she explained it to you. 

No, I won’t. You thought to yourself. 

No matter what, Clyde would be hurt. You could risk it all but pay the ultimate price. You just couldn’t see it working out, the least you could do is keep him safe. You owed him that much. 

Tonight you felt like a little girl again, trapped and powerless. Your independence stripped from you. That feeling crushed you as you waited for Clyde, sitting by the window and wiping tears from your face. 

It was midnight when you heard rustling in the trees, Clyde walking out from the treeline in just a pair of pants. Faintly you could see two other werewolves in the background, their eyes glowing like fireflies in the dark. You hated that they’d have to witness this. 

He had that same longing look in his eyes when he walked up to your window, they were warm and wide with hope, happy to see that you seemed mostly okay. You started to cry again, he came much closer. You clasped your hand over your mouth to muffle your sob, shaking your head. 

When you opened the window Clyde smiled up at you, “Sweetheart please, s’gonna be okay. We’re gonna get ya outta here,” He nodded. 

You didn’t understand how he could get close like this, leave himself so exposed to danger at a moments notice. And still he was comforting you. Couldn’t he see? “No,” You gasped. “Don’t get any closer.” It felt so painful just to say those words, unable to suppress your whimpers as you spoke.

He stopped in his tracks, a deep frown on his face. He looked back to the forest briefly, before turning back to you. His voice was thick with emotion, “But I have to farmgirl, ya can’t stay here. S’not safe.” He shook his head. “And I’d never get to see ya...I can’t do that sweetheart. I need ya to be safe. I need to know that you’re safe.” 

You smiled, but your eyes were full of tears. “And it won’t be safe if I leave Clyde, I can’t be with you.” Your voice was shaky and emotional as you spoke. 

Clyde took a step back, as if he was wounded. He felt his heart break at your words. It only lasted for a moment before he turned angry, it wasn’t right for you to be saying such things. You didn’t know what safe meant. He growled low, “You don’t have to be with me sweetheart but I will not be lettin’ ya stay here. Not with a family that don’t even love ya the way they should.” 

You hiccuped as more tears fell, your vision blurry. But you had made your choice already. “No, I won’t go Clyde.” You couldn’t. 

Clyde pressed his lips in a thin line, his nostrils flaring. “I didn’t come here to argue about this, ain’t no time for that.”

He was walking closer, no! “Please Clyde, don’t-you can’t come any closer,” You pleaded. 

He wouldn’t listen. He wasn’t listening, a determined expression on his face as he began to climb up to your window. You shut your eyes for just a moment, trying to think. As a last resort you closed your window, latched it shut. Maybe, now he’d listen. 

His eyes were so sad when he was met with glass, your back turned to him. He rested his forehead against the cool glass, hot breath fogging up the window. “Please,” He begged you. 

The cock of a shotgun turned his attention away from you, there below him your father and a few men stood with guns. “Boy you best get off of my property and away from my daughter before I shoot, can’t ya see she doesn’t want ya?” He tilted his head, aiming his gun. 

Clyde’s breath caught in his throat, he felt sick to his stomach. He stumbled off to the treeline drunkenly, defeated. He was met with the open arms of his siblings, their commiserating howls filling the night air. 

After that night Clyde had tried to call you, reach you in anyway but you couldn’t bare to speak to him. He tried visiting the farm too, but each time it was heavily guarded and new trespassing signs on the property kept him away. One day he gave up trying to call you, he hated talking on the phone anyways. Never had the courage to leave a message, he just wanted to hear your voice. 

Eventually it was time for you to move on, not just from a failed attempt at farming, but from what felt like a horrible break up. You had some money saved up, so it was time for you to leave Boone County behind and leave behind the pain of your past. Maybe one day you’d have a farm again, but next time you wanted to do it completely on your own, somehow. 

There was nothing left for you in Boone county. 

It took Clyde a lot longer to pick himself back on his feet, because that feeling never really goes away. Not with you. He started learning how to bartend and it was going okay, at least work was a good distraction. He never really imagined himself owning a bar. At one point he even got himself landed in prison, but that all was part of the plan. 

Years later you’re back in Boone county for a friends wedding, it hurts to be here. So much that you feel like you need to get a drink just after the first day being back. Regrets weighed heavy on your heart. 

Duck Tape, what a strange name for a bar, yet so fitting for Boone County. Some things never seem to change.

“Farmgirl,” Clyde’s eyes widened. He knew he smelled something familiar, something sweet. But he thought his mind was just playing tricks on him. 

“Clyde-” Of course you’d run into him here, the one person who could reel you right back in to the place you were so desperately trying to leave. 

“Are you alright sweetheart?” He asked you, his voice soft. Seeing you now made him forget all his heart ache, because his only concern was you and he could tell you were hurting.

You felt your eyes water, you sniffled as you tried to fight back tears. “I’ll be okay,” You quickly rubbed away a tear. Laughing as you tried to smile. 

He felt intense frustration seeing your pain, knowing that your parents probably caused it. How long had you been suffering like this? It made him angry, he didn’t even feel it as his fist slammed down on the bar counter, jaw clenching. The other patrons stared at him but he didn’t care. 

“We need to talk,” He gritted out. You knew you couldn’t avoid conversation this time. So you nodded. 

“Okay Clyde.” His first question was where you had been, all this time. 

“I never even knew that you left, all this time.” Clyde let out a heavy sigh. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I tried to talk to ya, I knew you were upset but I just needed to know that you were okay. Almost got myself arrested one time, surprised they didn’t get a restraining order on me.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t make that any easier. But it was so hard, I-you were in danger Clyde. I did what I did to keep you safe.” You justified. 

“Keep me safe?” He raised his voice, his eyes going wide. He huffed in frustration, he knew that your fears weren’t unfounded but still he wished that you trusted him more than that. To protect you. The alpha in him ached. “That was supposed to be my job sweetheart, I-we would’ve been fine. You just had to trust me.” 

You frowned, you could see now how much your actions hurt him. You didn’t think he deserved to go through this again, you pulled away. “I should go Clyde.” 

Clyde’s hand shot out to grab your wrist, growling at you. “Stay.” He demanded in a harsh tone. When you stopped pulling away his features softened, “Please farmgirl, stay tonight.” His brown eyes were pleading, burning with a familiar longing. 

“Stay where?” You asked. You were planning on staying at a motel, but you didn’t know what he meant exactly. 

“With me,” He said, blushing. He didn’t mean for it to come out forward. “Ah, ya don’t have to…” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away shyly. “I just miss ya that’s all.” 

You smiled at Clyde, for him you felt like you’d do anything if he asked. “Okay.” You nodded. 

Something about walking into Clyde’s humble little trailer felt like home, it felt warm. You felt your heart race just thinking about how he actually lived here. 

“Sorry if it’s a little messy, don’t usually have company,” Clyde cringed, seeing the empty beer bottles and pizza container, a pair of socks on the floor. But if anything it was a relief to you, it was surprising to you that he wasn’t married by now because he always seemed like the type. Even after all this time, a deep part of you still wanted to be with him. 

“That’s alright,” You reassured him. 

Clyde gave you a strange look. He was panicking, he had you in his home and it was his idea to ask you to stay but now he had no idea what to do with you. And he didn’t even have a place for guests to sleep, he was fucked. At least he could try to pretend like he knew what he was doing, he turned on the lamp next to the couch. “Would ya like somethin’ to drink farmgirl?” 

“Clyde, I haven’t worked on a farm in years.” You said in a strained voice. You had to tell him; the truth weighed heavy on you.

“Sorry, it’s an old habit I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck. You only noticed now that his left arm was different, made out of metal with fingers that looked like they could actually move. You briefly wondered how he got it, you were happy for him though. It’s what he deserved. 

“It’s okay, you can still call me whatever you like,” You softly smiled at him. He was blushing, again. Thankful too because he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop calling you that. 

You sat on the couch next to Clyde, each of you with a beer in hand. There was distance between you that you were hesitant to close. You longed for the closeness that you used to have with him, to kiss him again. 

“So um, what have you all been up to lately?” You asked him. 

Clyde thought about it for a moment, he didn’t feel like anything all too important had happened in the time you were gone. Sure, there was the recent heist he helped Jimmy pull off, but he’d rather not get into that one. “Jimmy got divorced,” He said bitterly. 

“Oh, that’s too bad.” 

“Yeah but he’s with this other girl now, Sylvia. Must make him happy cause I don’t see him much without her, and he’s got his daughter too in Lynchburg.” 

“What about Mellie?” You missed her too, you felt like you had missed so much. And you liked listening to his voice. 

“Mel’s with this guy Joe Bang, and I don’t know about him. But she seems happy, I guess.” Clyde looked off in the distance as he talked. 

You frowned, “But are you happy?” 

Clyde felt a breath catch in his chest, he should be happy. He had more cash than he knew what to do with, the bar was successful, his family was doing well and he had this fancy new arm. He let out the breath he was holding, “I’m doing just fine sweetheart.” 

You laughed, “Now you sound like me.” 

“But you lost everything, your farm, your family-” 

“And you,” You added, interrupting him. You were smiling but your eyes were sad. 

Clyde pressed his lips together in a line. He didn’t know what to say to that, so he took a long sip of his beer as he tilted his head back. He felt your soft hand on his arm, the heat of your body as you moved to sit flush against him. It was too much, after all this time. The longing he had for you came right back in droves, while for years he had tried to push those feelings away his mind was screaming at him. Mate.  

Your hand was on his chest now and he felt his cock twitch to life, “Sweetheart-” You had to stop touching him like this, he could feel himself spiralling into need. “-Please don’t.” He begged you. 

“I’m sorry,” You rested your forehead against his shoulder. “I missed you too.” 

Clyde hissed, feeling his cock painfully harden, “Ah it hurts.” He groaned. 

“What? Are you alright?” You asked, concerned. 

Oh his face had to be so read, it was too embarrassing to say. “Uh, s’been a long time for me. And my kind-we get sensitive,” Clyde grunted as you squeezed his chest. You were trying to comfort him, but your touch was doing something else entirely. 

“I don’t understand.” You said, shaking your head. 

“Werewolves need touch, in certain places. I...it’s been so long since anyone’s touched me.” His voice was throaty as he explained. He didn’t know why he was telling you this, letting his dirty shame spill right from his lips. He wasn’t meant to be alone the way he had been, but he didn’t really want to be with anyone else but you. It just felt wrong to even try. 

That was when you looked down, noticing the large bulge of Clyde’s cock straining in his shorts. Oh gosh, the realization hit you with arousal. Seeing that made you feel tingly, his flushed cheeks and needy expression. 

“I can touch you.” You resumed your ministrations, lazily tracing the buttons on his shirt. 

“Farmgirl, please don’t feel bad. I don’t need anyone’s pity, especially not from you sweetheart.” He shook his head. 

“But Clyde, I want to touch you.” You admitted. 

“Hmm?” Your words didn’t quite register with him. But your hand continued to drift lower until you were palming his bulge in your hand. 

“Ah sweetheart-” Clyde panted. “At least lemme kiss you.” 

His hand tilted your chin up for easy access as he planted a soft kiss across your lips. The first kiss was soft, but as you kissed him back with years of pent up passion his own mouth grew hungry as it seeked yours. The taste of beer still on his tongue as you moaned into his mouth, just kissing him made you feel on fire. You remembered what you were doing as you continued to rub and tease him through his pants. 

You felt the vibrations of his chest as he growled lowly, arm pulling you closer to him. “Feels so good farmgirl,” He huffed. And he wasn’t just talking about your hand over his cock, holding you this close felt good too. You smelled so sweet, and his own scent was getting all over you. He needed more, Clyde nosed down your cheek to breathe in your scent against your neck, kissing and sucking the skin into his hot mouth. You let out a sweet little moan and Clyde pressed his lips harder against your skin. This felt like happiness. 

You huffed in frustration as you tried to undo Clyde’s pants and free his cock, the button pulled taut by the size of his bulge. “Ah lemme do it,” He moved your hand out of the way, freeing his cock with ease. He sighed at the relief, tension dropping in his shoulders. 

He looked even bigger now, his cock heavy as you gently gripped him in your hand. “Fuck,” Clyde cursed at your touch, his cock drooling onto your hand. 

“Oh,” That was unexpected. You felt the velvety skin of his cock become slick, what a strong reaction to your touch. It was new, but it only served to turn you on. 

“Mmm-sorry, s’a werewolf thing. Makes it easier, s’like a natural lubricant.” Clyde groaned as he apologized, the warmth from your soft hand was doing things to him. It wasn’t normally this bad on his own, maybe because it had been so long. He could only imagine how bad it was gonna be the time his next rut came, ohhhh. His mind went blank as you began to stroke him. 

Clyde’s lips desperately found yours, his hand moving over yours as his kiss made you weak. “Don’t stop, tighter now, faster,” He rasped, showing you with the help of his own hand. 

The sound of his slick cock in your hand along with his lips meeting yours was so arousing you could hardly focus on the task at hand, you wanted to just melt into him and let him take over completely. But he needed this, and you would finish what you started. 

“Not gonna be long now sweetheart,” Clyde warned you. With how deprived he’d been of touch, there’s no way he’d last. He could feel that he was close already, just the thought of cumming all over your hand. One last squeeze of his cock had him spilling hot cum all over your fist, Clyde moaning your name as he threw his head back. You continued to jerk him as his cock throbbed, more cum spurting from the reddened tip. 

He needed to kiss you again, his mouth messily pressing against yours as his hand fisted your hair. His cheeks were red as he pulled back to look at you, lips slightly parted as he panted. He was so grateful, but he knew that a handjob wouldn’t be enough for him, maybe just for tonight. He had cum so much that your hand was coated in him, his mind thought of a few dirty things to do with all that cum but for now he cleaned up his mess.

Clyde looked up at you as kneeled in front of you on the couch, his hand on your thigh. He bent closer to nuzzle between your thighs before your gentle push stopped him. “I need to take care of ya sweetheart, I can smell how wet you are.” He shook his head. To leave you unfinished like this when you just gave him the sweetest relief wasn’t right. 

You just smiled down at him, “Not tonight, it’s pretty late and I’m tired. I know you probably are too Clyde.” 

He nodded okay, he wouldn’t push it if you didn’t want to. He led you to his bedroom, gently taking your hand. “I can let ya borrow some of my clothes to sleep in. I got some old t-shirts.” He said as he began to unbutton his shirt after stepping out of his pants.

“Sounds good to me.” You began to strip and Clyde just gave you this look, his eyes so dark it made you shiver. He quickly looked away as he tried to distract himself by searching in a drawer for something for you to wear. You had seen him naked before, but he had never seen that much skin for you. It was hard to tear his eyes away from someone so gorgeous. He tossed a t-shirt behind him without looking, or else he’d get hard all over again. 

But seeing you in his clothes might just be worse, it made him feel like you were his and the way his shirt barely covered your thighs had him all too pleased. He didn’t feel tired until he laid down, his body feeling like it weighed a ton as soon as he hit the mattress. And with you right against him, so soft and warm, it wasn’t long before Clyde passed out. 

TAGLIST: @thecurlycaptain, @oh-adam, @givemelifeorgiveme,@pastelprintessa, @yuuyamiartist, @magikevalynn, @formerly-anonhamster

[sebseyesandbuckysthighs]

Three Soldiers and a Baby | Part Eight

summary: Three handsome bachelors find their day to day operations disrupted when an unexpected new roommate (who comes complete with a diaper and a pacifier) shows up at their doorstep. How will they deal with this new and baffling responsibility without losing their minds or killing each other in the process?

pairings: Bucky x Reader (eventual) featuring Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

warnings: none, just make-believe goodness, and some swearing

a/n: Well, we’re back with another chapter! I’ll be honest with you, I nearly forgot about posting this chapter today. I spent the weekend at home, but now I’m back at my place and literally putting this in my queue with only a half hour left. 😆 Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

*warning to mobile users, the “keep reading” tab may not work so apologies in advance*

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 |

| previously |

It was past midnight when a click stirred Steve from his sleep. He thought perhaps Ellie had woken up and was fussing around in her bassinet, but when he looked over she was still sound asleep. He thought perhaps it was Sam’s light snores that woke him, but they hadn’t before and when he heard the click again he knew something was off. He tossed a pillow at Sam to wake him, gently of course, and just as he did something crashed at the front hallway. Sam was awake just as Steve leapt to grab his shield from beside the couch. Both were on high alert as to who the hell could have broken into their apartment. They both circled in front of Ellie protectively, moving forward inch by inch until suddenly all the lights went on. Steve threw his shield toward the door and instead of it knocking out whoever dared to trespass into their home, a metal hand caught it with a deafening clang.

“What the hell?” The deep sharp register of a man’s voice yelled out in the night.

“Bucky?” whispered Steve just as Sam growled, “Barnes!”

The three men stared each other down as the threat of danger faded away and heart rates returned to somewhat normal levels. Before anyone could say another word, though, there was a soft huff heard from the living room just before a wailing cry pierced into the night.

Bucky’s eyes widened dramatically and his skin paled slightly. “What the hell is that?”

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“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam exclaimed as he glared daggers at the infamous soldier.

“I live here?” Bucky said rhetorically. “So much for a, “Welcome home, buddy” or a “How’d the mission go, pal?” The hell’s a-matter with you guys anyways? And what’s that noise?” He started inching closer to them only to be blocked off by the pair.

“You want a nice welcome home, how about I strangle you with my bare hands for a nice welcome home!” Sam was about to lunge at Bucky, but Steve had anticipated the attack and yanked him back by the collar of his sleep shirt. Bucky was a little thrown off by the active hostility and the tension in the room wasn’t getting any better with the baby crying in the background. Steve was a little annoyed with Bucky himself, though.

“We thought someone was breaking in,” Steve said defensively as he placed his fists high on his hips. 

The statement made Bucky stare at his friend, both confused and amused. “Breaking in? With a key?” He laughed. “Damn, you guys are intense tonight. What’s gotten into the two of ya’s?”

The crying got more frantic and deafening as the men slowly backed into the living room. It was Steve that broke first and lurched over to Ellie, effortlessly scooping her up, and in seconds flat was calming her down after all the commotion.

All Bucky could do was stare as his best friend held a screaming baby in his hands, rocking her back and forth and murmuring soft words to her. He was frozen in place, shocked at the scenario he found himself in suddenly. The living room looked like a tornado had casually passed through it. He tried zoning in on what was going on between his two friends, but he couldn’t seem to focus on that spot where they were standing.

“Guys, what is that?” he asked shakily.

“Dammit, Barnes. What’s she look like? A labradoodle?” Sam patronized.

“That’s a baby. What’s a baby doing here?” Bucky’s voice sounded far away even to himself as he sputtered out his words. “Who’s is it?” he asked, gravely. 

“She,” Steve said proudly. “Her name’s Ellie.”

“Elizabeth actually,” pointed out Sam, puffing up a pillow on his couch and flopping down onto the cushion. “As for her last name that’s up for debate. For right now, though, you could say that her last name is Barnes.”

Bucky turned ashen as Sam said the words. Petrified and stunned into complete silence, his heart beating faster than he ever remembered it doing so. His jaw was so tense that the sound of his teeth grinding together somewhat woke Bucky from his trance. What the hell were they talking about?

“You better sit down for this one, Buck.” Steve said calmly, gently placing a fast asleep Ellie back into her bassinet. “It’s a bit of a long story.”

* * * * * * * * * * 

“The fuck do you mean you don’t know where she is?” Bucky exclaimed, his fists held firmly at his sides. He was about to go off again when both Steve and Sam told him to shut up before he woke the baby again. Bucky looked apprehensively at the little bundle in the other room, needing to grip onto the island countertop when he saw her again. He still hadn’t even begun to process the baby thing when he was too busy worrying about her mother.

For the past year and a few odd months, Bucky wasn’t able to get you off of his mind. Finding you after all he had been through, and all you had been through during the day you two met, was like a shining star at the end of a long dark tunnel. Thirteen months he spent with you secretly by his side and Bucky couldn’t remember a happier time in his life. A time that he hadn’t been able to find again since. The end of the relationship came abruptly and without any cause or reason. Everything had been going so well until one day, with tears in your eyes, you told Bucky that it had to end. He fought you on it for hours, even went so far as to beg and plead with you to reconsider, but you would just tearfully shut him down. He grew suspicious about your reasons, clearly seeing that it was breaking you apart as much as it was him. Yet you kept insisting.

So Bucky went away. For your sake he thought because if it was up to him he would still be fighting you to this day to take him back. He only realized when it was much too late what his desperation was really trying to tell him. Now you were missing. Probably scared and alone too. At least enough to leave behind the child the two of you brought into this world together. Except you weren’t together. You had been all alone when Ellie was born and for months still after that. Bucky was smart enough to know that raising a baby on your own was the hardest kind of work there was. He felt sick to his stomach that he wasn’t there for you and worried to his core now that you were nowhere to be found. There was one part of the letter he kept seeing over and over in his mind, unable to shake it. 

“I needed to leave her with someone I know I could trust. I’m so sorry, Bucky. Please don’t hate me. Take care of our little girl.”

What kind of trouble could she have possibly been in that she couldn’t come to him with in the first place. “Where could she be, though? What happened to her? Oh god.” Bucky exhaled sharply. “Fuck. I need to go find her.” He pushed away from the island and rushed away towards the front door, but was stopped by both Sam and Steve who barricaded him back into the kitchen. 

“Hold on, Buck. We’ll figure that out together. We’ll fix this.” Steve reassured.

“Just calm down, man.” Even Sam sympathized with Bucky at this point. He could see the genuine worry on the soldier’s face.

“But why wouldn’t she come to me? I could have helped her. Could have protected her.” Bucky dropped his head, ashamed and upset. “Should have protected her.”

“She did come to you, Bucky.” Steve said, then pointed over to the living room. “The proof is right over there.” 

“Okay listen, Barnes. Just breathe for a second and hear me out.” Sam moved closer to Bucky, resting a firm hand on the man’s flesh and muscle shoulder. “When a woman says, “I need you to do this for me,” then that’s it. You do it. Without question. Cause otherwise she would handle it herself. This woman trusts you enough to leave her child with you. Now there’s no accounting for tastes here, but I think you owe her this much. Trust her to know what she’s doing just like she trusts you enough to take care of her baby.” Sam paused, looked back at Ellie and then straight to Bucky again. “Your baby.”

Bucky still had a look of apprehension on his face, but even he had to admit that Sam was right. Still silent, he took a deep breath in and out before he decided on what he would do next. This was a big step forward in his life and he absolutely could not risk screwing it up. With one final goodbye to his old days, Bucky looked off into the living room at the small basket that stood out like a beacon in the once upon a time bachelor pad. As far as he was concerned, that frilly bassinet in there held his future.

With a resolute nod, Bucky puffed out his chest and nodded. “You’re right. That’s my baby in there and I’m gonna do right by her. But you guys promise that we’ll do something about finding her?” He referred to you. Both Sam and Steve nodded in genuine agreement. “Alright then. I’m gonna go meet my baby girl.”

Steve and Sam remained back in the kitchen as Bucky took measured steps towards the living room where his daughter currently slept. While he was making his way over there, Steve turned to Sam and pat his friend firmly on the shoulder. “That was a nice thing you did for Buck, Sam. You may act like you don’t like him, but you really came through for him just now. I appreciate that.”

Sam just smiled and nodded proudly. “Not bad huh, Cap?” He stopped nodding then gave his friend a wicked side-eye. “But actually what I did just now was set that man up for a sleepless night after an almost week long mission. Not to mention that little girl had green beans for lunch and dinner today.” Sam sighed happily and walked away towards the bathroom for a quick shower, leaving a bewildered Steve and clueless Bucky behind.

Bucky didn’t even notice Sam walking away as he slowly inched closer and closer. He was just glad no one called him out on taking his sweet time getting there. When he finally reached the edge of her bassinet, Bucky felt as though all the air left within his lungs rushed out in a single exhale. Looking down at the slumbering face of his daughter was almost too surreal for Bucky to handle. In that moment he was sure that she was the most beautiful being in existence. “Holy shit. She looks just like her mom,” Bucky quietly whispered, his voice hoarse from all the emotions flowing through him. “She’s fucking beautiful.”

Steve had remained quiet as he watched the scene between his best friend and his daughter. He too was overcome with emotion, but was holding it together better than Bucky was. He walked forward to join the pair and noticed the moisture building up in Bucky’s eyes while he continued to stare at Ellie. “Yeah she is, Buck. Congratulations, man.” 

Bucky finally looked away from his daughter, a light stream of tears flowing down his cheeks as he reached out to his best friend and pulled him into a tight hug.

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part seven << part eight >> part nine

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