#ya this kind of just gets more angst as it goes i guess

[ofstoriesandstardust]

can't take the home out of oklahoma - i. (k.c.)

a/n: eeee! a fever dream later, i've finally cobbled together the first part of my top gun: maverick and twisters crossover fic! it's going to be lengthy so we are in for quite the ride! it's way heavier on twisters, so any non-top gun fans should have no problem reading this. future parts will deal with darker content that's only referenced right now, so that'll all be tagged and marked accordingly. for now, it's just my standard cup of angst. reblog and comments are always appreciated!!

summary: After a twisted stroke of luck, you leave behind your whole life in San Diego, California and find yourself in Oklahoma with Tyler Owens and his Tornado Wranglers.

warnings: swearing, weather inaccuracies, flashbacks, reference to past trauma, alcohol

word count: 5.7k

Your finger rubs gently over the crinkled piece of paper Jake had torn off for you, the phone number and the name Tyler Owens written in the neat penmanship the blonde prided himself on. 

If you ever find yourself down South and need something, Jake had said, a bit out of breath as he’d run out of the house after you. If you need anything, call that number. They’ll help you. 

The cursor blinks back up at you on the call pad, your cracked screen making a mockery of you. The chaos of the San Diego airport whirls around you, pressing in on you the longer you sit here. 

You take a deep breath and press call. 

-

His phone starts vibrating on the table and he frowns, eyebrows furrowing as the team, crowded around the table in the RV, goes quiet. 

He answers, despite it being an unknown number. “Tyler Owens.”

“Hi. Uh,” A shaky breath comes from the other end of the receiver before introducing themselves to him. “Uh, Jake Seresin gave me your number. Told me to call if I needed anything.” 

His gut drops at the name, a clench in his heart. “What can I do for ya?” 

“Look, I’ve- I’ve had a rough week and I’m, I’m sort of finding my life upside down. And uh, I guess I’m just grasping at straws here. Jake said, he said you could help me.”

“That so? Well, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to be more specific. How can I help you? What can I do for you?”

“A- a purpose, maybe? I need a purpose, something to do. Um, I’m in San Diego right now but I need to get out of here.”

Tyler frowns, eyes flicking around at his team. They’re all curious as to what’s unfolding, and he scrubs at his forehead, knowing they’ll be upset with him for pulling the trigger on this without talking it through with them first.

But damn it, this girl sounded scared and Jake had sent her to him. Had told her he’d help her, and he would see to it that he did. 

He wasn’t going to leave her behind. 

“Tell you what, get yourself on a plane to Oklahoma. I’ll come get you. You can come work with me and my team.”

“You- your team?” Though she sounds hesitant, she almost sounds relieved at having some sort of direction now. 

“Storm chasers. Ish. We’re doing some field research out here in Tornado Alley, but I’ve got a team, the Tornado Wranglers. And honestly, we need another set of hands out of here managing the backend of things.”

The word managing was the wrong choice as it immediately sends his team into protest. Boone stands up abruptly, Javi and Kate whispering protests to him, as Lilly starts making a face. He waves a hand, wanting them to be quiet. 

The last thing he needed was for this girl to hear, to hang up, to not follow through. 

“Okay.” You say, and he thinks he hears you stand up. “Okay, I’ll find the soonest flight out. Um, what kind of things do you need help with? My background- it’s not in science.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure we could find something around here you can help with. Research grant editing or something.”

“I’ve actually got experience with that.” You say with a choked laugh, and Tyler can feel the relief bleed through the phone. He smiles a bit, pressure easing as he does. 

“Then we’ll make sure we put you to work.” There’s a beat as he hears the intercom in the airport go off in the background. “Listen, text me when your flights supposed to land. I’ll make sure I’m there to get you. We’re out in the field right now, so it may be a bit of trek out here, but I’ll make sure you get here.” 

You confirm and he hangs up and his team starts yelling before the phone is even back on the table. 

“We don’t need another team member man-“

“A manager? What kind of business do you take this for?” 

“Are you serious? Kate and I, we’ve got the grant stuff covered-“ 

“This really tells us how you feel about us, Owens.” 

He glances at Kate, who’s looking at him with a guarded expression he hasn’t seen since he first met her. She doesn’t excuse herself, simply pushing her way out, climbing around the back of Javi and Boone. 

-

It would be hard to miss Tyler, the way he’s signing an autograph, cowboy hat atop his head as he leans against the truck branded with the Tornado Wranglers logo.

You stop dead, a cold feeling washing over you at the eerie reminder of the person you’d just left behind. 

This Tyler Owens might be Jake Seresin’s doppelgänger, and based on what you’d seen during the flight you were beginning to suspect the only difference between them is the way they chased the adrenaline high. 

During the flight, you’d bought in-flight WiFi for the first time in your life, just to learn who these people were, who you’d be spending time with. Trying to understand what you’d gotten yourself into. 

Tyler perks up at the sight of you, a smile growing on his face. He holds out his hand and you take it, noting the genuine smile. You shake his hand, swallowing around the burning desire to ask the question. 

“Welcome to good ol’ Oklahoma.” He welcomes. “You ready to hit the road? The team is a bit of a ways out.” 

You nod as Tyler grabs your small duffel bag, throwing it in the back of the truck before you can even ask. 

You climb in the front, taking note of all the gadgets the truck is equipped with. “What’s all this?” You ask, as he turns the key, pulling away from the curb. “Storm chasing stuff?”

“You could say that. The trucks decked out with all kinds of stuff.”

The radio is soft in the background as Tyler talks to you about the team, about what you’ll be doing. 

As Tyler talks, as you talk, as you both think of things for you to do, you begin to lose interest in the conversation as the Oklahoma skyline begins to paint itself into a deep orange. 

“Can we stop?” You ask, voice full of wonder as you peer out windshield, watching the sky transform itself. 

You feel Tyler look over at you, before turning on his blinker despite the lack of cars around. The truck rolls to a stop as you dig around, pulling the disposable camera you’d bought from the bottom of your backpack. Tyler hasn’t even parked before you’re slipping out of the truck, walking around the front to take a picture of the sunset. 

“I haven’t seen a sunset like this since I was a kid.” You breathe, the camera clicking as you do. 

“I hear California has pretty good sunsets.” Tyler says, sticking his hands in his pockets as he stands next to you. 

You shrug.  “They do, but if you’re in the inner city, a lot of times the good ones are hard to catch. They’re easier to see at the beach but the marine layer blocks a lot of the good ones.” You say, turning to Tyler. “At least in my opinion. We can get back on the road now.” 

He nods, eyes steadily watching you as you turn on your heel, climbing back in the truck. Tyler’s a few beats behind you, still standing in the same spot as you buckle your seatbelt. 

The rest of the drive is quiet, the flow of quiet country music coming through the radio as the Oklahoma skies turns from dusk to night. 

By the time you roll up to camp, it’s clear that Tyler’s team has gone to bed, save for one. 

An older man perks up at the sight of you, climbing to his feet from his chair. “Ah, Tyler. Was just about to call and see where you were. This our new teammate?” 

Tyler nods, introducing you to this man. You step forward taking his outstretched hand. 

“Dexter.” He says, a smile on his face. “You must’ve had a long day. We’ve got some leftovers, can I get you anything? We’ve also got our extra tent set up, it’s where you’ll be sleeping.”

You glance at Tyler, although you’re not sure for what. Reassurance maybe. “I’d love some food. And a water maybe? I don’t have a water bottle with me anymore.”

It’s almost a natural instinct to wince at the thought of the loss of your emotional support water bottle that was probably laying in some crevice in the wreckage in Texas. 

Dexter sets to work as Tyler settles himself in front of the fire, a beer in hand. “We’re meant to head to town tomorrow anyways. We’ll stop, get you stuff to help out with the team. Maybe some new camping gear and whatever.” He takes a sip of his beer, cringing as he does. “Just realizing you’ll probably have to sleep on the dirt; I don’t think we’ve got any extra protectors after we visited the last wreckage. We should probably get more stuff tomorrow anyway.” 

“It’s no worries.” You say with a wave of your hand. “I was a Girl Scout for like, eight years, so it’s not a big deal. Won’t phase me.”

A head pops out from a tent nearby. Tyler perks up at the sight of him, as the man sticks his hands in the pockets of the zip-up he’s wearing. “You want a jacket?”

You glance down, realizing you’re shivering. “Uh, yeah, that’d be nice.” 

He gives you a cautious smile before looking to Tyler. “Hey Ty, man, I’ve got an extra pullover in the back of the van, can you grab it?” 

Tyler nods as the man reaches a hand out. “I’m Javi.” 

You shake it, introducing yourself.

“You from around here? You don’t sound it.” 

You shake your head. “San Diego, actually.”

Tyler comes back the same time Dexter comes back with your food and Dexter waits patiently as you scramble, pulling the soft material over your head. 

It smells strongly of rain in a way you can’t explain. In a way, the smell brings you a sliver of comfort. 

You take the food from Dexter as you do, thanking him. 

“Dexter, this is incredible.” You say around the bite. 

“It’s an old family recipe from down in the bayou. I’ve tweaked it so we can make it out here on the road, but it’s a crowd pleaser when I do.”

“You from New Orleans?” You ask and he nods. “My boyf- my ex boyfriend now I guess-“ You say, taking another bite in hopes to hide the awkward way you swallow around those words. “He’s from out there too.” 

Dexter sighs. “I miss that place, I do. But it wasn’t easy to stay after Katrina. I lost my whole family.” 

Your heart pangs, at his words, and it aches, at the thought of the person you’d left behind. 

“I’m very sorry to hear that.” You say softly. 

Javi clears his throat. “You need anything else?” You shake your head and he stands up again. “I really oughta get to sleep, but we’ll chat more tomorrow, yeah?” 

You nod and Javi gives you another cautious smile. In your heart, you want to believe there’s maybe a little hope hidden in it too. 

Dexter also bids you and Tyler goodnight, and the two of you sit there, the crackling fire filling the silence as you eat. 

“Thank you Tyler.” You say softly, staring at the burning embers after you’ve finished eating. 

You know you should explain to him how it all happened, how you got here, but Tyler doesn’t ask and you can’t forget the vision in your head of Steven’s cold eyes, unseeing. 

“You’re giving me a second chance here, and I really do appreciate it.” You settle on instead. 

He nods. “Whatever I can do to help.” 

You excuse yourself, bidding the man goodnight, only to find yourself tossing and turning on the hard ground. 

You thought sleep would come to you easier, with how emotional the last week has been, but everytime you close your eyes and a breeze rolls through, it all comes flooding back, the haze of freezing rain, of a rusty storm grate, a heavy body, and so much blood-

The sound of a door shutting (from the RV if you had to guess,) causes you to open your eyes, sitting up on the makeshift bed. 

“I don’t want her here Tyler.” A female voice says, and you frown. 

There’s a beat. 

“Too bad Sapulpa, she’s staying.” Tyler responds. 

“Stay here and do what?” The girl asks incredulously. “We don’t need her help. And I didn’t know you’re suddenly in the business of helping out random strangers who call you in the middle of the day-“

“This is our whole business, Kate.” He says firmly. “We help people. Strangers. That’s what we’re here to do, remember?”

“And how are you helping her?” 

Tyler’s quiet for a minute again. “We’re giving her a second chance.”

“A second chance? Are you serious?” The girl, Kate, huffs. 

“It wasn’t that long ago it was you who needed a second chance. We gave that to you, remember?”

Another zipper being yanked cuts off Kate’s response. 

“Yo!” It’s Javi. “Can y’all argue about this tomorrow?” 

You don’t hear the sound of Kate’s footsteps but you hear the slam of the RV door loud and clear. 

Tyler goes through the motions, getting the camp cleaned up, before putting the fire out. And then you hear him slip into the RV and for the first time in days, in the quiet of the Oklahoma night, it feels like you can breathe. 

-

You awake with a gasp, clawing at the blankets as if it was Jake’s flannel, holding on for dear life through the storm. 

You swallow back the bile threatening to spill over and blindly climb from the nest of blankets, pulling the zipper down, and stumbling into the sun. 

You swallow as someone’s head turns. It’s a girl, sat at the table the crew has set up outside. You pull yourself from the tent, unable to shake your nerves as you take in the soft baby pink hues above her in the sky. 

You introduce yourself softly and she gives you a tight smile in between bites of yogurt. “Kate.”

Your heart clenches, realizing this must be the girl you’d heard last night. 

It’s an awkward silence the two of you sit in, the baby pink fading from the sky as Tyler pulls himself from the RV. When she sees Tyler, she quietly excuses herself and brushes past him, floating back into the RV.

“You oughta get that screen fixed.” Tyler comments, sitting down next to you. 

“Haven’t had time.” You say with a shrug as you glance at the screen on your phone. It was more shattered than it was cracked, a hazard really, but what could you do? 

“I’ll take you to a place in town today that’ll replace it for cheap.” Tyler says around a bite. “Can I get you anything to eat?” 

Tyler’s team appears over the next hour, and he introduces them as they do. Dexter appears from the RV first and then Dani and Lilly from the back of the van. Boone gets dragged out from the van by Lilly twenty minutes later, and Boone pulls Javi from his tent because “if I have to be awake so do you Miami.” 

Kate doesn’t leave the RV for the rest of the morning. 

-

“They don’t like me.” You say quietly, drumming your fingers on the car door as Tyler drives to the motel that evening. 

“They barely know you-“

“Cut the shit Tyler, I heard Kate last night.” You say sharply, sending him a cold glare. “They don’t want me here.” You roll out your shoulders, looking back out the window. “If you want me to go back, it’s okay.” 

“And send you back to god knows what?” 

“I’d be fine.”

“Kid, you sounded so damn terrified on that phone — I’m not inclined to turn around and give you back to that fear.”

You swallow around a sigh, feeling Tyler watch you as he drives. 

“Give me a week. Give me a week to make it work. And if you still feel like you need to go back, hell, I’ll pay for your flight.” 

You look at Tyler, noting the serious look in his eyes. 

“Okay. One week.”

-

The next week feels simultaneously long and short in the worst ways. 

Short, in that it feels like your time is running out. 

Long, in that there are no storms to chase, dissipating before the team ever has a chance. 

Long, in that you sit around most days, doing your own research on grants and sponsors and the backgrounds of potential investors and articles on social media growth. 

Long, in that you don’t really talk to any of them, except for the one time you look over at Javi’s computer, just to tell him that his sentence didn’t make any sense. 

Long in that, Kate refuses to be anywhere near you and Boone ignores you and Lilly shuts you out of conversation and Javi sort of looks at you like you’re some sort of alien placed down next to them. 

It’s only on the sixth day, when you’re collecting everything you’ve worked on all week to give to Tyler in the morning before he takes you back, that something happens. 

The storm is too far away for them to chase it, to get any research done, but Tyler and Lilly agree that the team should head in, to be there to help out and hand out food in the aftermath. 

Because, apparently, that’s what this team is known for. 

You feel awkward here, watching the team spring into action. You feel out of place, not knowing what you were supposed to say or do as these people dug through the rubble of their lives. 

You were supposed to help people. Tyler had said you could help people here. 

The team is distracted just enough, that it’s you who catches it, not them. 

The sounds of a cry, somebody softly shushing them. You round a corner, heart breaking at the sight. 

There, a small little boy, maybe around the age of 8, is holding who seems to be his little sister as she cries. 

The poor girl can’t be any older than 3 or 4.

“I want Mom.” She blubbers out and the boy shushes her. 

“I know, sissy, we just gotta-“ The boy looks around helplessly. 

“Hey.” You call out, stepping around the rubble. “Hey, do you need help?” 

The boy nods. “Mom said not to move but-“

You hold your hands out. “Stay where you are, okay? I’ll come get you and your sister alright?” 

The boy nods, clinging to his sister’s hand.  You make your way through the rubble, kicking things out of the way to make a path back before finally reaching the two kids. You kneel down best as you can, leveling yourself to them as you introduce yourself. 

“I’m here to help. Can you tell me your name?” 

“I’m Jack.” The boy says. “This is Bella. She’s bleeding and I can’t find my Mom-“

“Hey, hey.” You soothe. “We’ll get you guys some help and get you out of here, okay? We’ll find your Mom.” You look at Bella. “Bella? Are you okay if I carry you? I’m going to help you find someone to patch that cut up, okay?” Bella nods and Jack lets her go as you scoop her up. You hold out your hand for Jack as the two of you navigate your way out.

As you weave your way through people, you ask Jack soft questions about himself, where he goes to school, if he likes dinosaurs or trucks, distracting him as he talks to you. Once you get the two kids to the EMTs, you duck around the side, in search of someone from your team. 

“Kate.” You call, as she’s sifting through rubble, calling for a dog. She glances over at you. “Hey, I’ve got two little kids here who can’t find their Mom. I’m gonna stay with them but can you let the team know? Just in case anyone sees her.” 

The face Kate makes is difficult to read as she nods. You sigh, making your way back around the truck. 

Bella’s all patched up and Jack is studying the logo on your shirt, lighting up when he recognizes it. 

“Mom lets me watch their YouTube channel sometimes!” 

You scoop Bella back up in your arms, holding a hand out for Jack to jump down as you do. 

“Oh well then I’m guessing you don’t want to come see the tornado-proof truck?” 

-

It’s late in the day when Bella and Jack’s Mom comes running down the street, hysterical. Tyler and Kate aren’t far behind her. 

Her arm is in a sling and there’s a few bumps and bruises on her, but otherwise she’s fine. Both of the kids light up at the sight of their Mom, and she’s tearful, thanking you over and over for helping them, for watching over her babies.

You wave her off, citing babysitting as just another thing you’re used to, a big family and all that. 

It’s as they’re walking away, Dexter asking if you want any food, Jack shouts out. 

They turn back, Bella running back to you with the stuffed animal she’d been holding in hand. You kneel down as she holds it out for you to take, heart aching as you look at the stuffed pig. 

Bella had seen it atop your stuff when you’d taken them in the RV and had been holding it ever since. 

It was one of the few things you had of your life left behind but you know when it’s time to let something go. 

“You keep it okay?” You say softly. “You take care of yourself little Bella?” She wraps her arms around your neck, the stuffie clutched between her little fingers. You return the hug, exhaling as you do. Bella lets you go, returning to her Mom and her brother and you stand back up, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. 

“Do you want some food? You’ve been with those kids all day.” Dani says softly, holding the box. 

“How’d you find Mom?” You ask quietly, crossing your arms. 

Tyler sighs. “Was sitting with her the whole afternoon when Kate came down the street, hearing her talk about her missing kids. Kate connected the dots.”

Your arms wrap around yourself tighter. “Kate, I told you I was with those kids. I told you to tell the team in case anybody found Mom.” 

Kate opens her mouth but no words come out as Lilly’s eyes slide between the two of you. 

“Here.” Lilly says gently as she holds the box out, taking it from Dani. “You should eat. Been a long day.”

“I’m not hungry.” You say. “I’m gonna get in the truck, let me know when we’re leaving.” 

-

You sling your backpack over your shoulder, the truck door shutting behind you as you walk up the motel steps. 

The backpack, downsized from your duffel bag as Tyler had gone through the Oklahoma necessities with you, which was hardly anything you owned, feels heavy as you do. 

“Hey.” Kate’s voice calls out. “That was a really nice thing you did for that little girl.” 

Tears sting at your eyes as you push the key into the lock, pressing against the door with your body weight to get the door to unstick. 

You think Tyler says something as you shut the door but under the hot water of the shower rushing down you, you can’t hear anything else.

-

You clear your throat, announcing your presence as you do. Tyler and Kate pause in their conversation as they look over to you. 

You set the folder down in front of Tyler, Javi’s pullover in front of Kate. 

“Just wanted to give these to you. Tyler, do you want me to just wait in the truck?” 

Tyler peeks at the folder as Kate asks “Wait for what?”

“What is all of this?” Tyler asks, flipping through the pages. 

“Research on potential investors and their backgrounds. Just so you guys don’t get into another StormPar situation. There’s some stuff about grants, donors in there. Other stuff I tracked down about how you could grow your social media, ideas I had. There might be a couple of pages about laws on people donating, not sure. It’s everything I’ve done this week. Y’all don’t have to use it but I just thought it might be helpful as lead points.” 

“This is- this is really great stuff.” Tyler remarks. “It’s gonna be a real loss to not have your brain on our team.” 

“Wait - are you leaving?” Kate asks, eyes flying between you and Tyler. 

“I’ll meet you at the truck.” You say, turning to leave. You think you hear Kate repeat the question to Tyler, but you shut the door to the RV before you can hear their conversation further. Across the parking lot, Javi calls out, but you wave him off as you climb into the passenger seat of Tyler’s truck. 

Your heart feels heavy as you look at your own Javy’s contact. 

It would be so easy to pick up the phone, to tell him you made a mistake, to beg him to let you come home. 

He would too, and he would pick you up from the airport, and he’d wash the Oklahoma from your skin, and he’d hold you through the loss. 

But then you remember Jake’s defeated look as the two of you had assessed the damage, the way he’d asked you to lie. 

You remember the blood-

A startled gasp leaves you as someone knocks on the window. 

It’s Kate. 

You roll down the window.

“You’re leaving?” 

You eye her, unsure why she appears to be almost nervous, fingernails digging into the soft flesh of her arms. 

“Yeah?” 

“Why?” 

You shrug, surveying the team in the parking lot. “It just didn’t work out. I didn’t fit here.” 

“But-“ She worries her bottom lip. “Where will you go?” 

“I’ll figure it out.” You say simply.

You’d have to because you knew the alternative would be devastating to everyone you’d ever known. 

She sighs, eyes flickering to Tyler, who’s moving closer. “Well, we’re headed to my Mom’s tonight. You should stay one more night. You’ve never even had real Oklahoma barbecue.”

A dry laugh escapes you without your permission. “Kate, what are you playing at here?”

She seems shocked, not expecting your question. “What do you mean?” 

You roll your eyes, huffing. “Kate, c’mon, you told Tyler you didn’t want me here.” 

Her face drops as her arms fall by her sides. “You heard that?” She says quietly. 

“Yeah.”

She licks her lips. “Look, I ain’t good with new people. I’m- It’s a me thing.” She looks down, scuffing her boot on the ground. “It’s my problem and I misjudged you. I’m sorry. Give me another night to show you how it could be.” 

“Why the hell would I stay to see how it could be when I know at this moment I’m not wanted here?” 

“I do.” She says softly. “Want you here. I was wrong and I’m sorry.” 

You let out breath through your nose, meeting Tyler’s eyes through the windshield. 

You think of Dexter’s food, Javi’s pullover, Dani and Lilly’s gentle insistence you feed yourself last night. 

You think of the Louisiana area code sitting open on your phone right now. 

“One night, Kate.”

-

“I sure am sorry you’ll have to sleep on the floor. I just wasn’t expecting an extra person from the crew but we can make sure you have somewhere to sleep tomorrow night-“ 

You cut her off, holding your hands out for the dishes from dinner. “That’s very kind of you Ms. Cooper, but I’m just fine sleeping on the floor.” 

“Please, I keep telling you to just call me Cathy and, well, you could stay in Kate’s bed?” Cathy offers as you take the plates from her. 

“Think you’d find my throat slit tomorrow.” You mutter and Tyler barks out a laugh. 

“You deserved that one Kate.” 

Cathy turns to her daughter, a look on her face. “What did you do?”

Kate pulls a face, holding her hands out. “What- Nothing, Mom!” 

Cathy hums, eyebrows furrowing but you cut them off. “The floor is just fine, Ms. Cooper. Um, do you mind pointing me in the direction of the bathroom so I could change?”

-

“Do Tyler and Kate have a thing?” You ask, taking a sip of the hot chocolate Lilly had made as Javi chuckles next to you. 

You’re watching the group fight over Uno, you and Javi sat in front of a puzzle. 

“They did at one point. When they first met, but they burned out pretty fast. Figured out they were better off as friends.” You hum and Javi’s grin grows. “Why, you thinking you want to start something up with Owens?” 

You blanch and shake your head. “No, I think I’ve more than had my fill on macho thrill seekers for this lifetime.”

Javi lets out a laugh, a real one, for the first time all week. You smile, thinking of how Tyler would fit in with those pilots like he’d always belonged there. 

You were all set on those types.

Kate though…

If Kate hadn’t been so cold to you, Kate would’ve been the type of girl you could see yourself falling for. 

Witty, bright, a soft smile always worn on her face. She’s at ease here and it makes your heart hurt to see. You want to someday be as at ease as she looks, wedged in between Boone and Dexter, the brightest smile you’ve seen from her on her face. 

“So how the hell does a city girl like you find herself in Oklahoma?”

You slide a puzzle piece into place. “I don’t, I don’t really want to talk about it, if that’s okay.” 

Javi sighs, quiet for a minute. “Look, I’m sorry we were so off-putting when you first got here. We’re a tight knit group and we’ve been through a lot together. And-“

“Javi.” You cut him off with a tight smile. “You don’t have to explain. I get it, okay? You guys aren't the first group to not want me around and you won’t be the last, alright?”

He heaves a breath, an unreadable look on his face. “Just- if anyone might understand the things you’re running from, it would be us.”

“Who says I’m running?”

Javi raises an eyebrow and you sigh, setting the pieces you’re sorting through down. 

“Look, I’m not running. I’m just- I’m just trying to leave something behind.” 

Javi studies you for a few minutes as you set back to work on the puzzle. 

“Shame you and Kate can’t get along. You two are more alike than you think.”

-

You awake with a start, fingers clenching in unfamiliar fabric. 

“Are you okay?” Someone asks softly and you blink, Kate coming into focus. 

Right, you had- you had slept next to her last night after she’d worn you down. You couldn’t deny how nice it had sounded to sleep in a real bed. 

“Fine.” You breathe, willing yourself to forget the shouts of a friend left behind.

She frowns as she pulls her pants on. “I’m, uh, sorry for waking you up. Gotta help Mom with the cows.” 

You wave a hand, pulling yourself to sit up in the bed. “Want a hand?” 

“Mom would kill me if I let a guest help. Why don’t you get some more sleep, okay?”

You lay back down as she quietly ducks out of the room, but you know sleep won’t come. 

You’re restless so you pull yourself from the bed, padding down the staircase and sitting in one of the chairs on the porch. Tyler appears a minute later, an extra coffee mug in hand. You take it from him with a quiet thank you before the two of you start to watch Kate. 

“So California, are we gonna talk about it?” Tyler asks. 

You sigh as Tyler kicks his feet out. “Well, you’re gonna ask me questions I don’t want to answer and I’m gonna ask you ones you don’t want to answer, so unless you want to start copping to some things…”

Tyler shakes his head. “Won’t talk about it then, California.”

You eye him. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t call me that. Sort of hard to leave that life behind when you keep calling me that.”

“You gonna stay?” Tyler asks, looking over at you. 

You shrug, finger running over the rim of the mug. “I don’t know that I should.”

“I know it’s been a rough start with them.” Tyler sighs, shoulders hiked up. “But they’re good people.” 

“I don’t doubt that.” 

“You’re good people too.”

“Doesn’t make me a good fit here.”

Tyler sighs. “It’s my fault, I should’ve approached it a different way. But if you leave, we’d really be missing out. You’ve got those fancy degrees and you’re smart and you’re one fucking selfless girl. We could use someone like you around.” 

Kate and her Mom appear, Kate’s bright smile appearing as she pulls herself onto the railing of the porch. 

“You guys hungry? I’m gonna go get started on breakfast.” 

“Starved.”

“Wanna come see the barn?” Kate asks you as her Mom opens the screen door. 

“Now hang on, California ain’t said if she’s staying. No reason to show her the barn if she’s gonna be leaving.” 

You sigh, look down at the mug you can feel going cold. You rub your thumb over the Oklahoma written into the side as you think of Kate’s smile, of Tyler’s kindness, of Dexter’s food, of Javi’s pullover that had somehow ended back up in your bag after giving it back to Tyler and Kate yesterday. 

You blink, looking back up at them. “Okay. Yeah, okay, I’ll stay."

ii.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Heat is Rising

Sorry this late, blah blah real life actual job blah blah.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 8 of 12 - Why is it so good?! It’s unfair. Cause I know pain must be incoming. Also... Yak moved to the "rao" pronoun for his confession! SO ADORABLE!!!!! Can you see me kicking my feet and squealing with joy on this side of the screen? Well I am. 

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I think I'm finding this show a lot funnier than the show is trying to be. The pose in the doorway. The sparkle pants. The creaking of the leather. It’s all hilarious. The foot massage. So silly. Simultaniously, full of thirst. Yay! I like thirst. Not entirely sure why he’s dicking him around and not dicking him out but hey the tension is fun. Also the shot staging is very good. Very yaoi. Lin going to have so much power in this relationship once he starts trying on seduction for size. All just to say, it’s good and I’m enjoying it.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - you know I'm enjoying it a lot, so a surprise to see a Star Hunter beat it out? It's just MosBank are SERVING classic BL and I am a sucker for that kinda smut. Back to Stand-In...

It’s sad and a little complicated and interesting. And I’m still enjoying it very much. But this episode was mostly a rehash of information we already had been given, it was slow. Although since the acting is so good in this particular show, I didn’t mind it as much as I might have in a pulp piece, for example. 

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - I’m very much enjoying this. Not quite as much as I initially enjoyed the JBL version. But I’m liking a lot. There’s something particularly high school teen YA angst about this IP. Even more so than something like Make it Right or Love Sick. It’s just the cringe reactions and the constant embarrassments and the roller coaster of emotions that each character goes through in every scene. I forgot how exhausting it is to be a teen.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 12 of 16 - We Are Cute continues to be very cute indeed. Honestly Phum doesn’t need to flirt with Peem, Peem is already in love. The learning about each other is fun, but the fact that Phum still constantly communicates via kissing is great. I love that we have a couple whose love language is smooches. TanFang endgame is my favorite, I fucking LOVE them. But... NO SINGING. Worst fake band ever? Place docked in BL standing this week for that alone.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - It's fine I guess? Trash watch here.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It’s ridiculous and they're very cute and I kind of don’t know what’s going on. But the young one getting his first dildo and skipping with excitement was utterly adorable. And it is the first rep we’ve got for such a thing in this genre. So good on you little pulp!

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - Everything felt a little rushed and oddly paced in this episode. Not entirely sure why K came back to him. Anyway, I hope it’s all explained in the finale.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10fin - I’ve made no secret about the fact that I haven’t been wild about this show.

Here’s a few things I enjoyed about the final episode: Uke initiated the sex scene!! Lots of tenderness. Long takes plus the absence of (and then very gentle introduction of) music. Unexpectedly high heat. Condom rep! The gayest bedroom layout ever. What I didn’t like: The absolute pinnacle of frustration for P'ABL on the other side of the screen wanting to grab the leads and shake them until their teeth rattled and scream "FOR THE LOVE, just TALK to each other!"  Oh but they are so cute and SO POLITE when the finally do reconcile! 

In conclusion:

A BL about the making of a BL where the famous one has a crush on the obscure one. It’s already been done.  Recently. By Japan. I would be tempted to say "better" but I didn’t like the first version either. At least this was less stalkery? Look, this show was fine. Just, in a word: cool, unengaging, and frustrating. OK that was 3 words. But they’re apt. A lackluster offering with a great ending. How to rate that? I despaired but ended up on 7/10 - do better Japan, I know you can.

Blue Boys (Korea YouTube) - it got its part 2, thank the BL gods, rounding this one into an 8 ep series. Still short (those eps barely scrape 10 min at most) but a solid little offering.

Charming reunion romance full of class + coming out struggles and great chemistry all of which was let down by a curtailed length. Had it just been given some legs, it could have grown wings and taken flight, but in the end it is simply too short. Still enjoyable and certainly worth your time. Cause ya don't need much of it. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down.

In case you missed it

I mean you were under a rock on Tues Jan 18th Thailand's senate passed the Marriage Equality Bill. As of typing this, the King still has to sign it into law, but he's unlikely to veto. So it's a matter of time before everything is official. Thailand follows Nepal (2024) and Taiwan (2019). Both of those were judicial, Thailand's is legislative.

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie) - Continued the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1 and was meant to drop yesterday. We thought maybe Gaga, but nothing so far.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Last of the June Releases

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds Gaga) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

6/26 I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) 10 eps - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

6/30 The Trainee (Thailand Sun YouTube) 12 eps- office romance between a boss/employee featuring OffGun. Taking over Boo's spot for GMMTV.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Lip touch! So sexy. So rare from Korea. Blue Boys.

I do love a meta call out moment.

Tiny idiots (affectionate)

Love their kisses. Such a great side couple.

All Wandee.

(Last week)

QUICK NOTE: I'm flying international back next weekend and the damn thing is gonna take like 72 hours or whatever insanity. Needless to say, I may not get to this round-up for ages. So don't panic, I'm not dead just sleeping.

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[cntloup]

SUGAR

Mafia!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Rival's Daughter!Reader angst, toxic relationship

Simon was never a man for fancy ball events but as the right hand man of John Price, had to be by his side at all times especially at times like these, meeting with the rival. As they arrive at their destination and get the formalities of greetings and introductions out of the way, he goes to settle by the bar where he can have his eyes on the whole room, just in case. He orders his usual Kentucky Bourbon. As he stands there, drink in hand, his eyes searching the room for any kind of threat, that’s when he sets his eyes on her... and he should have taken her for what she really is... a threat; he should have ran right then and there but he never did. He had heard about her, the daughter of their rival, but never seen her beauty and grace up close. She looks elegant with a charming smile... and that’s when he knows he’s fucked. She feels a set of eyes on her and looks for them in the crowd and finally faces him. She's heard about him too. She starts walking towards him to greet him properly and that’s when it all started.

“This can’t happen.” he mutters in between kisses as they hide in the hallway “Why not? Cause we’re rivals? Who the fuck cares? If anything I’d be happy to fuck him over.” “who?” “My dad of course. Who else? I hate his fucking guts.” he’s surprised to hear that then replies with a chuckle “Why? Not the lifestyle for you?” “Fuck no! I feel like I’m in a cage. His puppet that he gets to play with and show off whenever he pleases.” he thinks that he can understand her struggles as he has his own trauma too.

And you play a twisted little game, But I know in a way, You need to complicate it, Believe that though we never eat, We still know how to feed, We still know how to bleed, oh

At that time he thought that she’s too sweet and innocent for this life, but that’s where he was wrong. The arguments, the push and pull, the manipulations started not too long after they first felt something for each other which he thought of as pure. He felt used and abused, he started to feel paranoid even more than before, never trusting anyone, even doubting his peers, sometimes even Price. His head full of thoughts like ‘Is she just using me for information?’ ‘Am I just a guard dog to him?’. But there was another side to her; so loving, patient and understanding of his pain and torment... also she was an enchanting seductress. Fuck, she was intoxicating. She had him completely wrapped around her finger.

My arms keep you in the room, Barely let you move, Show me what you do, oh, Tonight, we're second-guessed again, Let me wrap the chains, Addicted to the pain

As he pulls her into his room, never taking his lips off of her, nibbling and kissing any part of skin he can reach, he kicks the door close and corners her against the wall, not letting her move an inch. “What the fuck are you doing to me? My mind is in shambles cause of ya! Do you hate me or love me? One day you stay by my side through everything even when I’m at my worst but the next day you act like I don’t even exist as you come to the meeting with another guy on your arm!” he grunts as he puts one hand around her throat squeezing just enough to make her dizzy, just how she likes it. She smiles devilishly with no reply and pushes her lips against his and he can’t stop her, he never can. He’s addicted, fucking addicted to the pain she puts him through, addicted to her taste, everything about her. If she wants to see how far he can go, if she wants to test him, he’s more than willing to play this game with her.

Do you wanna see how far it goes?, Do you wanna test me now, my love?, You must be crazy if you think, that I will give in so easily, Things we buried low, Coming to the surface now, my love, You must be crazy if you think that I will give up the game, Oh, whoa

Sugar, I've got a taste for you now, Sugar, I've developed a taste for you now

comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated ♥ 

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

baby come back

♡ STEVE HARRINGTON'S MASTERLIST ♡

❁ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❁

This is a sequel to "Careless Whisper"

✧ Summary : they say "you should leave all the past behind" but what if they deserve a second chance?

✧ Word Count : it might be long but I hope it's worth it

✧ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️ Past!Ex-Boyfriend!King Steve! Harrington x FEM!reader, eventual smut, cursing, mentions of bad household, complicated father & son relationship, slight emotion invalidation & misogyny, cheating, separated parents, alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking, child neglect, trauma, intense confrontations, fluff, angst, not giving away anything! don't wanna give you guys ideas 🤭

✧ What to Expect : ANGST, FLUFF AND SMUT‼️reader will be so unsure of him but she'll get there ;)) I promise this will so fast paced, the story goes back to present and past!

✧ Note To Reader : YOOOO y'all making me inspire to write more for Steve! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT omg- even it's just small numbers of recognition is enough for me 🥺🫶🏻✨

✧ Author Note : I literally tried to think of a better song to associate the next part and my god- my brain was like zapping up to Baby Come back and I was like "THAT'S IT!" 🤩🙌🏻

"Henderson, I already told you not to wipe your feet on the inside of my car"

"Must've slipped off my mind"

"I've been your chaperone- wait a second- I'm your goddamn babysitter for the past 3 years!"

"Just step on it, already!"

"Remind me why I'm being friends with you" Steve turns on the engine of his car and held onto the steering wheel

"It's because I'm a great person"

Steve chuckles as he shakes his head but a fond smile is evident on his lips

"What time should I pick you up?"

"The usual"

Dustin talks about his night yesterday after school with the whole segment of the D&D Campaign, while listening as he kept his eyes on the road, I think he could make a word count on how many times he mentioned Eddie

Steve watches his young friend steps outside of his car, "Okay, see ya"

He's heading on his way to Family Video, where she meets Robin sitting on the front stairs

"What are you doing?" He asks as he gets outside of his car and puts his keys inside of of his pocket

"I guess, we're both too early, too early that Kevin hasn't even arrived yet" Robin stood up as she walks closer to Steve

Steve looked behind him, there's a new diner in town that he hasn't been it yet

"Wanna go there and eat some breakfast?" He nudge his head on the facility that he's looking at

Robin follows his gaze and clasps both of her hands together "Let's go, I'm getting bored here for waiting"

Once they get inside, the smell of brewed black coffee invades both of their noses and the sweet scent of pancakes and waffles

Robin already got an eye on the waitress who is serving some delicious fully packed breakfast plate, she swore that she is drooling over it and it made Steve chuckle

Steve is always been a pancake and bacon kind of a guy, he likes the combination of sweet and salty, so, that's where he is aiming for

Both of them saw a table that is near to window, they sat together across from each other

The male waiter was about to gave them menu's but they dismissed it

He nods gladly as he calls someone else to fill up their order

"Hello, goodmorning, what's your order-"

"Hi, can I get-"

Oh my fucking god

Holy fuck

It's you

His mind is going ablazes because he pretty much knew himself that he has a 20/20 vision

But at this time? All of his insides are overheated

He hasn't seen you since....the prom

Fuck, the memories starts to take him back

You just finished your last school year on that history that you both happened before and you move out of the school

Not only moved out of school, but you also left the town, Hawkins Indiana

Yes, you left.... without sparing him a single word about your departure

The town that you've never wouldn't have thought you could ever get back to

But, this is your hometown where you truly grew up in

You only decided to comeback since

You got homesick

You missed your family, that's why you take the chance to finally be with them

Temporarily

You clear your throat, you try to mask up your expression as you completely forgotten his companion that you briefly glanced and you noticed her confused look at you

She darts back and forth on you and Steve

You remained civilized, "What can I get for you?"

You say softly as you clicked your pen and holding up your notepad

He blinks as he takes a deep breath, "Uh- Pancake and Bacon and Coffee"

Damn, you wished there's a machine to mind sweep your entire memory of him

You still remember it

He still eats the same way

"Okay, um, should I bring creamer and sugar?"

"Yes, please"

Shit, he still makes his coffee the same way too

Fuck, fuck, fuck

Who in the right mind that you chose to have your vacation here?

When you could do it somewhere else

You trust yourself too much that you thought you won't be able to see this familiar face again

You nod but you can feel his eyes on you

You look incredible

Of course, he'll take every chance to look at you

You cut your hair shorter, you even changed it into different shade of color, your natural dark brown is gone, it turned into more lighter brown

The wavy length and the bangs looks so perfect on you is shaping your face that he still does love until now

You dress so differently now too, he could tell by your silver rings and....

A piercing? You have three earlobes now

He adores how you wear your makeup, not too flashy but it enhances your features

He is delighted to see your face again, he never thought that the universe will give him another glimpse of you even is just like this

A part of him that made him sad for a sec, it's understandable that you changed your whole appearance

You changed because you want to forget who you were before

You have to remove every single thing about how you look that reminded of him

Maybe in another life....

You're happy together

You motion to Robin who is still absolutely puzzled from the not so obvious look of recognition form the both of you

She could already tell that is something is deep between the two of you

Before she tells her order, he catches Steve who is not even afraid to gape on you, he's not even trying to hide it until she spoke up and he heard her voice

He got shy all of the sudden and runs his fingers through his hair

"The Breakfast meal?"

"Yeah, right that one"

"A drink along with that?"

"Oh, a cup of coffee too as well"

You nod as you clicked back your pen as you tear off the paper from your notepad

"It'll be ready in a minute" you say, you offer the both of them with a small smile as you finally take your leave

Robin leans forward with her hands together, "Okay, what was that?"

"What?" He acts clueless, he knows Robin won't drop the scenario that just happened

Robin chuckles in amusement "Well, you tell me" she nudges her head to you

He glances at you with those eyes, you can still freaking feel them on you

You start cleaning the table and picked up the tip from a another customer

"Robs-"

"Don't you dare "Robs" me and don't you ever lie to me" she throws her hands up as she raises both of her eyebrows at him

He sighs as he scratches the back of his neck

"Do I really need to tell you?" He shuts his eyes for a second as he takes a deep breath

"Uh yeah? Because that look it isn't something that is far beyond that you just know the person"

"You knew her"

She leans backward as she crosses both of her arms

She can't even tell if she just struck off a nerve or offended him

"I'm just messing with you, dingus, it's okay-"

"No-No, it's just-" he exhales

"it's been a while since I saw her" he speaks in a voice that his bestfriend couldn't ever expected to hear

It sounds so broken, it increases her pique of interest even more

What happened?

"I hesitated because-" he looks at her with guilty eyes "I think you're not going to look at me in the same way ever again"

Robin listens intently as she gestures her to keep going

"I am here to reassure you that I'm not going to judge you"

"I did something bad in the past, Robin, but I've changed"

"We all have done something wrong in our lives, Steve, the right way to do is to face it, hold yourself accountable for it, and learn from it, but that doesn't make you a bad person"

He looked at you again, you are now serving someone else a vanilla milkshake

"Yeah, you're probably right, but to her? I am"

Flashback to 1986

He spent all of his allowance that his father gave to him

All of his money going out all night in the town

The prom was one month ago

One month ago

He trying to do anything to get you out of his mind

He drank a lot of alcohol and gets drunk most of the time

But when the morning comes, it felt like he needs to start it all over again

He realizes that trying to forget you, it's just a waste of time

He wants you to come back, he needs you to come back

He'll do anything for it

Anything at all

He knows it won't be easy

He angrily crumpled and tear off all of the pictures that he had with his friends

Friends that aren't not even real

He knows that you're right about him, it's just his own stubborn mind who refuses it

He hates himself

No, scratch that, he loathes himself for becoming like this

His mom's words were very dear to him even it's just a simple phrase

"Don't try to be something that you're not"

Don't be a fucking people pleaser

Now, he got the point why you don't like these titles at school

The social cliques at the campus

It's also his own fault that he got into this

He wanted to be somebody

Even it hurts people that he loves the most

So, that same morning, he is so determined to be different this next coming school year

He trashed everything that upsets him, he even ditched some of his varsity jackets, all of his trophies he put them all in a case and placed them on the attic

Everyone is going crazy how he acted so differently at school

He just rolls his eyes at it, god, now he really fucking gets it why you're so ick to this

"They're so overdramatic at this stuff, I mean- what's the damn point?!?" your voice echoes to his mind

That's where he retired of being King Steve

Everytime he heard someone mentioning it, he just grimaces, winces and even cringed at it

He doesn't even Iike to be called on that name anymore

Sure, he is still good at his academics and sports but now ever since he pulled that "dropping his title" at school?

He is now getting the treatment of true colors

Now, he is out of that barrier of being on the top popular guy at school

His eyes and mind opened at your perspective

He can see it why, fuck, that adds more salt to the wound

He cannot even blame anyone for making him being this way

Maybe, high school is tough that's why he did it

But then, he notices a pattern of events on his life

Fuck, he is just like his father

He rarely visits the house and just talking about his work and didn't gave him a chance to speak what is going with his only son

He never paid attention, never even cared, not even felt any affection to him

But when he does, he just snaps at him, and tell him that being emotional is weak

Having feelings are weak?

How fucked up is that?

So, he kept his mouth shut even though he wanted to yell at his father

The only parent that he felt being loved is his own mom

His mom that left them both behind, he can still remember it

Because why?

His father cheated on her too

It's like a damn cycle, it making him violently vomit at the thought of it,

History repeats itself

He made a promise to himself that he won't ever be like his father

But, he already done it and it angers him even more

"Hey, Steve" he opens and locks the door behind him

Not "Hey, son" am I even your son? He thinks to himself as he keeps his eyes on the television his own father doesn't even noticed the obvious scowl on his face

"There's this woman at work, who-" he chuckles in a salacious way and it sends shivers down to his spine

"Who slapped me right after I kissed her and told me that she isn't interested in me" he chuckles yet again as he removes his coat

"She wears that outfit and expect me not to do anything? She did that in order to seduce me, she wants it" he scoffs as he shakes his head

He gotten so uncomfortable, he starts shifting from his seat

Steve needed this bottled up emotions to blow up

He wants and he needs his father to hear him out

"That's what you did to, Mom, too, huh?"

The silence is too loud, Steve is so fucking insane for doing this confrontation but he has to do it or else he will lose his mind

"What the fuck did you just say?" His dad grumbles as he stares down at his son with a fire on his eyes

He glares at him as he chuckles dryly, "You're so messed up that it hurts" he spats

"What are you even talking about?" He pushed him by the shoulder

"I hate that you're my dad!" He does the same action as he stumbles back, Steve thought his mind playing tricks at him but he swore for a brief moment that he saw his dad cracked

He is guilty, he is ashamed of it, he knows he is not a perfect father, he is not proud of it

15 year old, Steve would've been shitted on his pants for doing this but he is not afraid of it anymore

He is completely appalled, lost for words, the way his narcissistic exterior washed out on instant

"I lost the girl that I ever truly loved because of you!" He points at himself with anger and sadness swirling into his eyes

"Do you think it's easy for me to live out my life there knowing that my own fucking father is proud to have this mindset?!?" He steps closer as he makes hand motions to his head

"I can't just push you away because why? You're my dad, I-I can't just do that" He throws his hands up as he sighs in exasperation

"I-I have so much things that I wanted to scream out loud for you to hear because I've been carrying it for a long time and it really sucks because this argument isn't going to change anything" He is trying to so hard not to bawl in front of his old man but it his voice wavered badly but he didn't care

This is the most unfiltered thing he has ever done in his life and he knows for sure this will help him....A lot

"You've gone soft, Steve, that's the real world"

He looks at him with furrowed brows as he shooks his head

"I'm not gonna grow up to be just like you, asshole" He laughs incredulously as he starts picking up his shoulder bags and luggage

"Where do you think you're going, young man?"

"I'm going to leave because I'm sick of you and this big house"

"You're not able to survive out there without my help"

"You know for the first time in forever made me realize having a enormous fortune isn't necessary in life sometimes"

"You listen here-"

"What is fortune when you don't even have a good fucking relationship with your parents and household"

That's where he slams the door shut and breathes out a really long satisfying sigh with a proud smile on his face

He feels good, he feels great, he feels he has done something wonderful in his life

This is just the start of it

He takes his car keys and drove away like nothing ever happened

"Steve! Earth to Steve!" Robin clapping her hands right across to her bestfriends face

"What- I'm sorry" he says as he began shifting on his seat

"Okay, so to be clear, y'all are highschool sweethearts before-" Robin squints her eyes as she make gestures to her expressive hands

"and I was...." His shoulders slumped down, he doesn't even want to finish the sentence

"King Steve" Robin shrug both of her shoulders as she gave a sympathetic smile

"yeah" A small but sad smile flashes on his lips as he ducks his head down in shame

Robin is obviously needs some more information to fully understand what happened to your relationship with him

"Is it so bad?"

"is far more than bad, Robs"

"Did you kill someone?"

Steve eyes widened as he genuinely laughed, "N-No- I didn't!"

She chuckles but she is glad she made him laugh, "So, what is it then?"

He just made this one look to Robin and as she tries to read his eyes, her smile drops

"Oh"

As if you we're on cue, you placed their orders on their table as Robin made a stressful brush up to her hair as she glances at you

"Your order's are complete, just call me if you're ready to-"

"We can pay now" Robin's voice is firm but a hint of disappoint surrounding at the tone of her voice

You looked over at Steve for a sec who still gave you those pleading eyes as you tried your best to look away as you gave the receipt to them

You've taken both of their payment as you walk away quietly

Did just Steve talked about you to her?

Fuck

"Robin- I"

"I know it's in the past, It isn't my place to open up the wound again" she sighs as she tug up a smile to him

He smiles as he nods to her words, he is worried that this could ruin their friendship

"But I am fond that you chose to change, Steve, you changed for her" she places her palm on top of his as she pats it gently

"Do you still love her?" Robin asks him as she tries to search his eyes

She can see it, the same devotion is still there, it never died and it never will be

His last words to you echoed into his mind

"I can't never love again, I only want you"

And it truly did

He still does

Robin chuckles slightly to Steve with those lovesick eyes, "Of course, you do"

"You can't never get over with your first love"

You're done with the night as you put on your jacket along with your sling bag on the shoulder

But when the time you got inside of your car, your vehicle won't start up everytime you try it won't ever run

You sigh in frustration "Goddamn it!"

You look over to the other side of the road, you saw Steve locking up the doors at the Family Video

Shit, the universe is really testing you

You walked outside of your car as you close the door with a slam as you start to pace around it

You fumbled with the stuff inside of your bag as you pulled out a cigarette stick and you flick the lighter in your pocket

You inhale deeply as you blow out the smoke, you massage the back of your neck as you try to figure how to get the fuck outta here

You're mad that you're hopeless to get home

The last thing that you wanna do and the last option is to get ride home with Steve

You felt a hand behind you, you shrieked as you almost punched him in the face

"Woah- it's just me!" He held both of your wrist as he takes as step foot back to dodge your aim

You huff as you tap off the excess from your cigarette, you mumbled a small "sorry"

Well, isn't this great? Your first conversation with him after what??? 3 years???

He doesn't want to react because he hasn't seen you smoke before, I mean- you can do what you want but both of you really did changed

Did you developed anything else such as bad habits? that added another pang into his chest seeing you do things that you've never done before

He looked over to your car, "What happened?"

You blew out the smoke as turn your head into the other side, you try your best to remain calm but it feels all too much when he is this close to you "My car won't start"

"I can take you home, I know a place that can fix your car tomorrow" he suggest as he offers you a ride home respectfully, you can see that

Something is not right to him and it's giving you the creeps not in a bad way but why do he seems so nice? Is it because of you or he changed too?

You have no other choice, the terminal closes up pretty early, so, there's no train or bus to take

Only for tonight, just this night

You blew out the last smoke as you stub the cigarette into the nearest ashtray near the trash can

His eyes are glued to you, he watches your every move, of course, he knows that you wanna wrap this all up and forget all of this ever happened

As much as he wanted to talk to you ask you if you're okay, he respects your peace and boundaries

"Okay" you walk back up to him as the both of you crossed the road

What the fuck? Is he a gentleman now? You're not used to him like this, opening up the car door for you?

You flashed him a small but also confused smile as he jogs into the driver's seat

You saw the oh so familiar necklace that hangs on the rearview mirror

You made that necklace to him

Why does he still keep it?

He starts the engine as he put his hand over the headrest as he drives backwards

The drive was....so awkward and how quiet it is ringing to his brain

You just busied yourself watching all of the scenery outside in the car window as you passed by into different places

He takes his chances to glance at you

My god, he can't believe that you can still made him feel like this way

You crossed your leg that made your skirt rides up a little, he clears his throat

"Uh, so, which way should I go to?"

"Just turn here" you point out to him

He brings the car around the different small houses and his breath staggered he recognizes it

Oh, you're here because of your family

You're only having a vacation

"Stop here!" The tires screech as he stops abruptly and you accidentally bring yourself closer to him that he almost almost can kiss your lips in just one move

His breath hitched at the gap between the two of you

Your eyes flit to his and to his lips

It felt like eons that you both just stare for each other at the moment

You know and he knows

Fuck, you still love him

"I-I gotta go" you slowly move back up as you open the door but before you get outside, you softly say "thank you" and closed the door

You didn't give him a chance to reply as you quickly grab your house keys to unlock the front door

He sighs as he massages his forehead, he rolls up the windows before you get inside

"Take care" he says as you only nod and closed the door behind you

You squeezed your eyes shut at whatever that was inside of his car

"What are you even looking for?" He says not looking at you as he looks at a Nazareth vinyl

"Michael Jackson's Bad album" you say as you squealed gleefully when you found the one you were looking for

"We're going to be late for the movie, sweetheart" he hold both of your shoulders to grab your attention

"They're aren't going to start without us, Eddie" you say as you smirk at him as you walk away

"We have to buy popcorn-" he whines jokingly as he kept being all dramatic while he slings his arm around yours

"and drinks and other goodie stuff, I know, I'm just gonna pay this, stay calm" you giggled as you excitedly take the purchased album into your hands

"Hey, Eddie!" The same girl with the dusty blonde hair greets him the same time as you both are about to leave the record store

You can't never avoid him, huh?

She looks at you and your hand is wrapped around his forearm as she gives you a small wave

You only nod and smile, Steve is right behind her

"Dude, what's up?" Eddie greets him, right you forgot they studied in the same school

Of course, they knew each other, except for you because you left

You're nervous because of what Steve might think of you but you can't see anything on his face and his eyes

He doesn't seemed to mind that you're with someone else, there's no jealousy, mockery, sarcasm as he talks to Eddie

He doesn't even noticed how close you are at the metalhead

Meanwhile, Robin saw how you study him, but you look away you don't want to make him realize that you still care for him after all of this time and as she does as well

"Where are you two going?" Steve beams as he takes in how divine you look, Eddie didn't even catches it

"To the movies!" Eddie grins as he pulls you by his side as you roll your eyes playfully

"Are you guys going to watch Batman?" Robin gasps as she watches Eddie eyes goes big in excitement

"Yeah" you nod at her, Robin who is surprised that's the first ever interaction that you just had with her, so, she decided to introduce herself to you

"I'm Robin, by the way, I'm the bestfriend of Steve- ow!" He hits her by the shoulder as you chuckle in amusement in the way Robin punctuates and emphasizes the words to you

"We gotta go now" Eddie chuckles as he wraps his arms around you, but halts his tracks as he remembers something

"Sure, see you later" Steve nods as he purses his lips together as the both of them step inside

"Harrington, you could invite her to your party!" Eddie points at you and your close your eyes in embarrassment

You didn't tell Eddie about your history together with Steve but you did kinda....throw some hints at him about your past but didn't reveal the real name

Party? He still does that? you think to yourself

You saw how Steve became jittery all of the sudden as he tries to drop the topic right away but Robin, a glint of mischief on her eyes as she snaps her fingers at Eddie

Damn, you got yourself invited but you grew amused to the mystery girl

"I can't fucking believe you did that" he glares at his bestfriend who is pretending to be innocent as she walks away from him

"Oh- please, don't act that you didn't want that" she scoffs at his in denial behavior as she saw a vinyl that is similar to his situation

"You still want her, right?" Robin smirks as she gives the vinyl to him who is now gauging at his reaction

He takes the vinyl out of her hands without looking at it first but he laughs as soon as he saw the title

"Baby Come Back by The Player"

She wiggles her brows at him, he tries to kick her by the leg but she managed to dodge it

"Don't fuck it up this time, dingus"

"Trust me, I won't"

You had fun watching Batman with Eddie, he'll be right back with you as he headed at the men's restroom

You overheard a kid who is very defensive with his bestfriend, you try not to pry but until you heard the name "King Steve"

You've never looked around so fast in your entire life and your eyes fall onto the boy

"You're being friends with a douchebag-"

"He is not a douchebag!"

"Yeah, right, I heard he break girl's hearts like it was nothing-"

"T-That's not true!"

God, your mind is saying no but your heart is making you walk towards him

Curiosity got the best of you as you listen closely, but you stay alerted when things get heated

The poor kid, huffs as he shifts on his stance as he watches the two young ones left him

"He doesn't even like that name anymore, what a bunch of assholes"

"Hey, are you okay?"

He quickly swipes the tears away "Y-Yeah, I'm good"

He probably doesn't even remember you, "Dustin, right?"

"Yeah"

You smile sweetly at the kid, you really shouldn't ask a lot about him but you feel mystified of what you just witnessed, "Was that true? about what you said at Steve?"

"He cares a lot, he loves a lot, he is willing to do anything just to protect- Wait a second- who are you anyway?" He was getting into until he realizes that he is talking to a stranger and he paused

The kid missed the endearment on your eyes as you blink rapidly, you looked over your shoulder as you saw Eddie searching for you

"I'm gonna go now, bye" you say as he tries to chase you but you got lost in the crowd until he can't no longer see you

"Whoever that person is, that's so bizarre" he speaks for himself

"I have to tell this to Steve at the upcoming party"

He is not looking forward to it

But he wishes you were

He doubt that you will show up over at his house

But, honest to god, he thought the time stopped when I saw you walking by alongside with Eddie and Robin

His brain is muddled and his heart rate is increasingly so fast

"Hey, Steve-" Dustin jogs over to him but his mind is elsewhere as the door swings open

"Here we are" Eddie does his classic antics as he opens his arms as you chortled

"Welcome" Steve steps aside as he lets you all walk in

"Where's the drinks?" Robin feels so at home like she unashamedly looks through his refrigerator

"It's literally 7pm- don't you dare drink-" He puts his hands over his hips as he reasons with Robin

"Not that- I'm just thirsty" Robin rolls her eyes as she tries to explain

"You?" Dustin loudly made a sound that all of the guests caught their attention

You give him a small wave and a crooked smile and now you're regretting attending this

Steve clocked your reaction as he hold your shoulder leading you away from him

"Why are you pointing at her, Henderson?" Eddie is perplexed as he tries to understand the situation

"You mean- you didn't know?" Dustin bunches up his eyebrows at the metalhead

Steve glares at Robin who winced at the look that his bestfriend just gave him

"I think, you might want to sit down, Munson"

Steve has taken you in the backyard as he slides the door close

Oh, hell no

Not this place

Steve cringes what he just realized but he tries to keep his composure

"You still do parties, huh?"

He stare at you for a second, are you actually having a conversation with him?

"Uh no- we're going to have a movie marathon, not a party"

"Oh" you nod slowly in understanding as you stare at the swimming pool, you breathe in deeply as you keep your hands to yourself

Your sight of vision fell into Eddie, Robin, Dustin bickering at each other as you saw the guilty look on your metalhead bestfriend directed at you as you send him a small smile as you look away yet again

"I see that you told them"

"I-I'm sorry, I only told Robin-"

"Save it, Steve" your voice has gotten serious unlike earlier, but he can see it in your eyes that you're fighting between your emotions

You're trying your best to resist yourself for giving yourself away too fast

Steve's shoulders tensed as he looked up into the sky to find the right words to say to you

You deserve to know that, he needs you to know that him and Robin are nothing more than a platonic friendship

"Robin is just my bestfriend, she helped me"

"Help you?....with what?" You knit your brows together as you look at him in question with your arms crossed

"I- uh- I moved away from my dad after we- to live on my own independently" He suddenly became shy as he scratches the back of his neck as he averts his gaze somewhere else

That's where he truly see your eyes soften as your eyes went everywhere to his face

He can communicate properly with you now?

He is actually saying the truth to you?

You're not used to it and he knows he doesn't blame you

Before you can reply, Dustin calls out at the both of you as Steve sighs when you're the first one to walk away from him

"Hey, are you okay? dude?" Dustin asks him sincerely

"Yeah, man, I'm good" He lies, as he gives his young bestfriend a forced smile

False bravado, that's the mask that he's wearing all the time ever since you reappeared again

Tryna' keep up a smile that hides a tear

He wants you so bad, but how he will ever to win you back?

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I didn't know-"

"It's fine, Eddie, it's not your fault"

"Do you want to leave?"

"No, I'm gonna stay, Eddie- it's alright, I promise"

"Just tell me, if you're not up for it anymore, okay?"

"Okay"

Everyone is a blobbering mess after seeing Dead Poets Society, except for you and Steve

You caught him giving you those eyes yet again like he was begging for you

Begging for you to give him a chance

He wants to talk to you, the scariest thing you could ever say to him that your doors are chained and he'll understand

But the thing is that, he can't live without you

He'll do anything to persuade you, convince you, make you believe that he is nothing like the "Steve" the one you've met before

If he could go back in time, he would redo everything

The moment when everyone is leaving and saying their goodbyes

He took your hand and he must swallow his shock because you let him hold you for the first time in forever

Eddie even talked to him while you were distracted by Robin, by him saying "I don't know what happened between the two of you that much but.... I'd get her back, man, whatever it takes"

"Can we talk?" He whispers as he puts you in the corner where no one else can see you both

"Steve-"

"Just give me the chance to make you see-"

Oh, Steve's brain just mushed down

Because you're fucking kissing him

He recovers as he cupped both of your cheeks as he gives into you

Your hand gets lost to his hair, god- he misses that a lot, your sweet scent, he's inhaling it so much that electrocutes his brain

The kiss went into seconds, minutes and feels like an hour

You don't know what's gotten into you but you know you're going to blame yourself for this

You already told yourself that your guard is up

But, your heart tells no otherwise and your body reacted, so, positively that it flushed down closer to his

You stopped yourself as you saw him chasing after your lips but then he saw how hurt you look, his heart drops to his stomach as he gulped

He is flustered and so are you, but he sees the recognition in your eyes, the realization

He flinched the way you angrily punched him in the chest all of the sudden as you wept in front of him

No words thrown out between the two of you

It's the same damn kiss

It never changed, it still feels the same, moves the same, the way both of your lips melded into one another is a complete shocker to you

He didn't care about your outburst as he let the tears fall from his face as he embraces you instead

He starts caressing your head as he tries to keep you calm on his warm hug

You held onto his shirt in a fist that you violently sobbed face flat in front of his chest

As much as you wanted to stay in that area

You begrudgingly dragged yourself away from him as you walked outside, not giving him a second look

He knocks off one of his picture frames as he slides his back down against the wall as he started crying

Love is embarrassing, isn't it?

3 years, 3 goddamn years, you both still yearn for each other

Your first kiss after 3 years invaded his mind the entire night, he stares at the empty space of his bed

God, he wishes that you were here next to him on his arms

You've never packed up your stuff so fast in your entire life

You're ready to leave first thing in the morning

The door bell rings and you hold your breath for a second

"Oh no, not you- Steve-" you tried to close the door but no to avail as he stepped his foot to prevent you from for not letting him in

He glanced at your luggage and bags that makes his stomach twist

"Have you used up all of it?" He says as he kept his eyes on you

"W-What are you even talking about?!?" You threw your notepad in the near table, fuck- you shouldn't have double checked too much on your lists before going out

He got you now, you can't escape this

"All the love in your heart"

That's where you avoid his eyes as he moves closer to you

"Ain't there nothing left for me?"

"Steve- stop!"

"That's right-"

"What-"

"A lot of people that I know what I did to you was foolish, anyone can see it"

You let your stubborn attitude subside as you listen to him

"There's was something and everything about you"

You take out a shuddering gasp as your eyes burn from the threatening tears

"You can blame it all on me, I was wrong, baby, I-I just can't live without you"

He could've done this before

Take the responsibility of his actions and not to sugarcoat every word and have the guts to hold the accountability of his mistakes

"Steve, you gotta move on-" you lie what you truly feel, what's stopping you?

"Baby come back, come back to me, please"

"S-Steve, I don't know if I can trust you-"

"I didn't realized what I had when you're were mine!"

Your guarded demeanor has shunned off as you let your arms dropped to your sides

"I-I confronted my dad after one month ago when we go on our separate ways, I-I know this is unbelievable but I removed everything that you didn't like with me, my friends, my title, all of it, and it did helped me to become a better person"

He looks straight into your eyes, he never looks away as he tries to make you understand

"And I'm so very sorry that pulling up that fucked up shit that I did before just so I can improve myself and to have a character development was utter bullshit, hurting you was never right"

You purse lips together as you shake your head in disbelief

"What I said back there was still true too"

"What do you mean?"

"That no matter what you do to me, whatever happens to the both of us, I'd still love you"

He cries, his face glows so red as he takes in every feeling that he's receiving

You're the first one yet again to kiss him

He yelped as he brings you closer to him, your hands went through his hair as you throw your arms around him, he dives in deeper earning a moan out of you

He breaks out of the kiss, your face went pale but he shuts off your thoughts with the words

"You sure, you want to do this?"

"Steve, yes, I do, I want you like you want me, I need you like I need you-"

You're about to dove back on him aggressively but something feels so different on his touches, it's not foreign but it's making you want to bawl at how he is so soft with you

His eyes crinkle in awe and delightment as he couldn't get anymore happier

He carries you upstairs as he puts you onto the bed carefully

He removes his shirt and his pants, you get out of your shoes and when you're about to remove the straps of your dress, he beats you to it as he slowly takes it off but not without kissing your neck

His hands goes under your skirt as he plays with the garter of your panties

You spoke his name so decadent that he nearly melted down on you

You held onto him by the shoulder blades as he finds the zipper on the back your dress, he unzips carefully and lovingly as he takes his sweet time to adore and treasure every single moment of you

This is not just sex, he never looked at you like the one from before only filled with lust

This is love and admiration and it touches your heart so deeply that it might've been stop beating for a few moments

It's unreal that he is doing this to you, it's also unreal that you let him do this to you

When all of it's left is your paired black lacy undergarments

You both stare together for a while as you held his cheeks as he rests on it

He smiles so wide that it actually hurts and so are you, your smile lingered everytime he looks at you

You raise yourself using your elbows as he unclasp your bra, he threw your bra across the floor somewhere, he can't help but to kiss you again, you mewl as you fall back down on the mattress, you grind yourself against him as he groans when felt how wet you are

You kept grinding yourself onto him as he grants your wish as the friction increases more

Next thing to remove is your panties, you whine, when he licked a stripe into your cunt

"Steve-"

"Yes, baby?"

"I wanna feel you"

You don't need him to ask him twice as his boxers flew off somewhere

He carefully enters your sopping aching hole as you both moan in pleasure

Your jaw falls slack as your furrowed brows crumpled up even more as you adjust to his size

He kisses every part of your body, worships it while you're losing your mind of how it feels so fucking good just like before

"F-Fuck" he curses, praising you as he kisses your jaw

He watches how your cunt clamps sucking him inch by inch, he grunts when you start clenching around him

You're drooling, your eyes are fucked out, you're brain is mashed up

You're a fucking goner

He kneads your breasts as you moan even louder, the squelching sounds that comes in and out of you is music to his ears

"S-Steve, pleas-e move!" you squeal and your voice becomes so tiny that you bit your lip

He spreads your legs far more wide as he grabs your hips harder

You arch your back when he picks up the pace and hitting the spot were you're mostly addicted

"Oh!"

Your eyes roll backwards as your mouth hangs "0" shapes as Steve watches your expression contorts in pleasure

Breasts are jiggling, he goes faster and faster, he places himself on the crook of your neck as he puts lovebites all over it

You locked him in place as you can't keep your suppressed screams any longer

"Steve!"

"Christ-"

You scream his name so loud that his brain shortcircuit as you both came undone

He peels himself off of you but you held him close

"No, don't pull out just yet"

You tap him by the shoulders as you switched positions, he let out a sharp gasp at the angle that you're on top of him

Despite the overstimulation, you grind yourself onto him

"Woah- baby, fuck-"

"Yeah?"

"Don't give me that look- I'm gonna bust"

You giggled as you close your eyes at the sweet sensation as your brows pulled together and you moan when you start to bounce on his cock

Holy fucking shit, you rocked up his world

His hands are everywhere literally setting you on fire, he brings you closer as you continue to do your job as you look at him with blacked out eyes

His eyes got even more darker as he copies your move making your head fell onto the side allowing him the access to kiss your neck

You both went off to one another as you both entered another climax

You fell asleep together after 3 years

The scenario you'll never thought you could experience again

You woke up in a cold empty bed as you look around in your room, you can't see his clothes anymore, maybe he's in downstairs

The last night events flashes right before your very eyes as you bring your knees up

A tinge of pink on your cheeks as you try to remember every detail happened last night you were so beyond elated and in a complete bliss

You wore your dress again as you went downstairs only to find Robin

"Robin?" You ask in confusion, not that you don't want her here but it's just so random

"Hi" she waves awkwardly as she scratches her head

"What are you doing in here? Where's Steve?" You look for him again but it seems like he left

"Don't freak out-" She breathes out

You raise both of your eyebrows as you motion for her to continue

"He's at the airport" She says as she starts following you making you stay focus but she has no power to control you

"What?" You take your car keys as you went inside the vehicle and turn on your engine

"Wait- stop! He didn't told me the reason why! He just said he'll be at the airport!" She shouts out loud as she rests her back against your front door

"Okay, I'll be here at your house! Steve and his ridiculous lovelife- I swear to god- I'm gonna kick him in the ass" she slumps down in defeat as she mutters words under her breath

Why would he leave you?

Fuck, no- did he regret it again?

Tears well up in your eyes as your stomach began to churn as you fighting for your dear life to get into the airport as fast as you could

No, Steve wouldn't- stop overthinking- maybe, he has a reason

He won't just leave you like this, you felt how soft and he made you feel like you're the only person on his life

He made you think that the both of you had a future

So, why would he leave without a word?

You ran as your feet can take you, but when you saw the airplane takes it flight, you rest your head against the window and sobbed

The familiar voice calls your name and you look around a bewildered Steve who is now walking towards you

"Baby, what are you doing-"

"I thought you left me" you hold him tight as you looked at him in the eyes

"You're not going to leave me? Are you?" Your voice sounds so small that he doesn't want to see you crying anymore

"Honey, I'm here, I would rather jump off a cliff for leaving you all alone again, okay?" He reassures you as your worried features decreases but there's still uncertainty on your eyes as he takes a deep breath

"Robin is in the house, I don't-" he cuts you off as he tuts

"Ah-ah, let me speak- the airline called me in the morning and told me that the schedule that I booked in for is going to take off and of course, that would be a disaster since I used half of my expenses for the flight right? So, I made a decision on the spot- I called Robin to accompany you because you were peacefully asleep, baby, I don't wanna wake you and I was about to come back to you and tell you that you're coming with me" he held up in front of your face of two airplane tickets

Your unsureness totally fades away as you look at the ticket, you read aloud what it says

"Chicago?"

"Yeah, I'm going to take you with me while I study for college"

"I actually want to take master's degree too"

"Yeah? We can go together"

A big smile grows on your lips as you step forward to him as he closes the gap and gives you the most promising kiss

"We better start packing up soon"

"We sure are"

"I love you"

He kisses your cheek, "I don't think I could love you more, baby, I love you more than anything"

•

special mention to @savage-aespa, this person here is the main reason why I made this fic! literally giving me an idea that there's a possibility for them to be together and I hope I did my job alright! I'm sorry, it took me a month to finish this up and if you made it here, thank you so so much for reading, your support and your kindness will always be appreciated! take care always! 🥹🫶🏻✨

[builtaworldwithyourlove]

I Forget Where We Were

1.2k/ joel miller x f!reader / MINORS DNI 

summary: life with Joel from the start. Be kind please- this is my first piece and has taken 6 months of courage🤍

Chapter Six: Time is Dancing

Hold it in, now let’s go dancing. I do believe we’re only passing through.

what to expect: Wholesome evenings with loverboy and the sweet precious angel baby. Unfortunately, we are it’s time for some angst

warnings: bad language i guess idk?😂fluff, dad!joel,lover boy joel, no specific physical description of reader, female reader (please let me know if there is anything I’m missing, I will elaborate as the series goes on) no outbreak, age gap (reader is mid 20s and Joel is mid 40s), boyfriend!joel? i repeat boyfriend!joel, slight daddy!kink, showering together but I kept it clean, let me know if you want the filthy version however💁🏻‍♀️, Joel’s past may just bite him in the ass.

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

As you came out of the office, Joel and Sarah hung out of the truck windows, beeping and waving at you.

Laura, your work bestie, nudged you ‘Okay,now when are you planning on filling me in on the absolute hottie’

You waved back at Joel and kissed Laura on the cheek as you hugged her goodbye ‘Lunchtime, tomorrow.’

She squealed gleefully.

‘Love ya!’ You both shouted in unison and waved with your fingers.

Sarah was wriggling in her seat, so excited to see you& Joel got out the truck to kiss you hello. You wore cream coloured cigarette trousers, which sat above your ankles and complimented your anklet. This was paired with a blue and white striped shirt and your oversized tote and matching cream loafers. Joel had to bite his tongue, as he instantly fought the urge to tear your clothes off and devour you.

Sarah asked all about your day and you asked all about hers. ‘I wish I could come to work with you, it’s so much better than school’ Sarah sighed. 

‘My job is boring baby girl, you’d have more fun working with your Daddy’ you looked at Joel and squeezed his thigh.

‘All Daddy does his hit things with a hammer and screw wood into things’ Sarah sighed.

You cackled at the double entendre that Sarah didn’t quite understand. Joel rolled his eyes replying ‘At least I don’t stare at a screen all day pretending to get shit done.’

‘Oooooooh’ you and Sarah teased in unison.

‘That’s 10 bucks for the swear jar Mr Miller’ you tutted, taking two 5 dollar bills out his wallet, handing one to Sarah and tucking one in your purse.

Joel tried to pretend he was angry, but the way you flicked the hair of your shoulders and grinned at him cut through his tough exterior.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

The three of you made it home and you helped Sarah with her homework whilst Joel mowed the lawn.

You greeted him with a beer when he came in, and kissed him, with a subtle lip bite. He growled quietly into your mouth and you started to make dinner whilst him and Sarah watched TV.

You danced around the kitchen dancing to Hozier, with a glass of red wine in hand. Joel leaned back on the sofa, straining his neck, just to watch you through the double doors that connected the kitchen to the living room. Sarah heard a song that you hummed whilst you painted her nails, she ran to see you and you picked her up and twirled her around on your hip and sang with her.

You both giggled quietly, and Joel couldn’t take his eyes off you.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

‘Are you and Daddy having a sleepover tonight?’Sarah batted her eyelashes hoping you’d say yes.

Joel nodded eagerly at you.

‘Why don’t I go home, get my stuff and then I’ll come and stay?’ you crouched down beside Sarah and negotiated.

She ran a lap round the living room , elated at the fact she would get another bed time story with you.

‘I’ll see you soon’ you planted a kiss to her forehead and then held Joel before walking back home to grab your overnight bag and your car.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You pulled up outside and Joel ran to let you in. Sarah finished up her bath and you helped her brush her teeth.  You pottered around the house tidying up after dinner, and packed Sarah’s school bag, 

‘I could get used to having you around’ Joel swooned. 

‘You’d get bored of me before I have the chance to unpack’ you jested. 

The cogs in Joel’s head were turning as he thought of the perfect way to give you a spare key.

You read The Velveteen Rabbit to Sarah and Joel listened closely in the hallway, hidden out of view.

You tucked her up, kissed her goodnight and shut the door softly. Joel grabbed you around the waist, and pulled you into him.

‘Shall we get ready for a night of crappy TV?’ Joel began unbuttoning his shirt and lifted his faded black t shirt over his head, revealing an olive skinned stomach, chiselled down to his hips, and airbrushed in a layer of fine dark hair.

He pinned you against the banisters and pressed his lips against your neck as he carried you into his bathroom. He turned on the shower, and after bickering about the perfect temperature, Joel compromised and you had the shower how you liked it.

He lathered up his hands in your lavender shower gel, and washed every inch of your body. Intimately and delicately,placing soft kisses over your neck and chest. You wrapped your arms round him and stood under the rainfall, taking in his scent and letting the droplets fall from the bridge of his nose down your cheek.

You cupped Joel’s face in your hands, and traced his lips with your tongue. He grabbed a towel and wrapped you up in his arms. 

‘Let’s get you cosy, baby’ Joel whispered in your ear, and hooked his pinky under the towel and removed it from your body. He sat on the edge of the bath drying off, as he watched you like a hawk as you rubbed in some cocoa butter.

Joel went into his bedroom and grabbed his glasses and a throw blanket, and you met him downstairs on the sofa with two mugs of chamomile tea.

You sat down with your back to the arm of the chair and your legs wide. You patted your chest as invitation for Joel to lay on you. In your usual tv watching spot, you stroked Joel’s curls as he drew circles on your thighs. His hand fell limp after 20 minutes,a sign he was deep in sleep.

With extreme caution , you slid out from under Joel and headed to bed, where you fell asleep on your own.

It was 11:16pm, and in your absence, Joel woke up in a panic. He bounded up the stairs, and rolled into bed next to you. He took you in his big arms, swept your hair off your neck and behind your shoulders, and kissed you goodnight. His arms slumped over your waist, and he set an alarm on his phone for 5am for you to get up and get ready for work in time. 

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Joel’s phone flashed and buzzed with your morning alarm, as you slouched across him to turn it off.

You pressed the off button, and his lockscreen lit up. In front of the photo of him& Sarah, you noticed a notification that made your heart stop beating.

Mia:

‘Everything’s all sorted for my visit this weekend, we still on? Missing you🫶🏼

It must have been record timing between you reading that message and doing your hair and makeup and leaving for work, just to get out that house. Before you went,you checked on Sarah, ran down to make her lunch, making sure Joel realised that there was only lunch for one and you were long gone.

You signed a post it and left it on the fridge

‘Enjoy your lunch princess, and have a good day. Love you❤️’

‘Joel, send my love to Mia.’

Adrenaline pumped through your blood as you pulled up to work, texting Laura to come down to the front and meet you for a coffee.

Incoming Call: Joel

Just as you expected, he would be awake and downstairs by now.

You silenced your phone, and filled Laura in on everything.

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

[crossroads-of-the-raven]

Just a Little Something about What a Person is Worth in Season 5 - Ninjago | Ronin, Kai, and Morro

Anyone else ever think about the fact that Ronin literally went:

Ronin: Trade offer. You get, your life. I get, half the shares of your teacher's tea shop.

And Kai, ya know, kind of had to accept because he was being strangled and would have been dragged into the ocean and drowned.

Ronin over here is really leaning into the whole, it's just business angle when it comes to trading people.

I mean consider.

Zane and Pixal, sold to Master Chen (literally the setup for Season 4, which actually does quite a bit to setup Season 5)

Then Kai having to buy his life with half the tea shop shares.

(Granted, for the Nindroids - I've heard that the reason the writers had Ronin go through with the transaction was to keep his wife and daughter safe. So, in that case it was more like trading two lives for two lives; but, the Kai thing still stands as something Ronin technically did of his own volition.)

Then, and I definitely know people have already said this but, then you have Morro:

Morro: Trade Offer. You get, your traumatized little brother. I get, the Realm Crystal.

Honestly, add to that, the fact that the Soul Archer has Ronin in a contract that basically says, if he doesn't pay up then his soul belongs to the Soul Archer.

Season 5, when you think about it, kind of became the season of lives and what their worth.

I know I already mentioned Morro, but, think about how Morro is an orphan who thinks that he doesn't belong anywhere, only to be taken in by Wu.

Wu then gets it into his head that Morro was (I guess) destiny sent to be the Green Ninja, tells Morro who then obediently does everything asked of him to become this person of worth to the man who took him in.

Then the day come and Morro is told he's not the Green Ninja, he's done everything that was ever asked of him to become what Wu wants only to be told that it was all for nought and that there is nothing Morro could ever do to be this person of worth that Wu wants.

~~~~~

IDK, this post was just supposed to be about how Ronin basically just said that Kai's life is worth half a tea shop (that belongs to the younger son of the FSM) and forcing said red ninja to buy his own life back because there is some really good angst involved when you realize that Kai's life is now part of a business transaction, and ...

Ugh!!!!! (Translation: the life of a writer is such that you eventually realized that you must write the hurt/comfort ANGST for your favorite character that you want to see in the world)

(This was the original title of the Post:

Just a Little Something about Kai and Ronin in Season 5 - Ninjago

Now it had to change because Morro loves find his way into everything as he's my favorite guy whose not one of the Ninja)

~~~~~

Bonus angst:

Ronin gave Kai the Airjitsu info about Yang's Haunted Temple as a bonus.

Kai, meanwhile, when ask how he got the information makes it sound like his life was never part of the deal (a lie of omission).

Then Ronin does the same thing when asked as he's looking over the tea shop for the first time.

Both Ronin and Kai are keeping hush about the real terms of the deal about how Ronin came to own half the tea shop.

(Then the guy goes and forms a bond/friendship/mentorship with Nya as if he didn't just play with Kai's life)

[btsgotjams27]

this is us ~ jjk | 19

✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, best friend's younger brother ✨ playlist | ✨ if you haven't read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n: y'all, we're getting closer and closer to the ending of their story :( :( there's one last chapter and an epilogue T_T i'm sorry that it took so long to get this chapter out. i was stuck on it for the longest time bc ya know, i suuuuck at writing seggsy things, but i hope y'all enjoy it anyway. there were a few words left for me to use, so you'll see them in bold (we also have one more line, but we'll save that until the end hehe. iykyk). and as always, please like, reblog, scream (or not) at me, send me asks. i love it all. i hope you're all doing well.

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ 20 ~ ending credits

chapter nineteen ~ together again | wc: 9.7k warnings: we’re back to fluffy, domestic shit 😭 (finally), they love and miss each other so much, again—lots of talking and conversations (with yoongi, yuna, namjoon), bamie is a big boy and goes on a flight, lots of hugs, kisses, touching (what else is new), our TIU babies are being grown ass adults and sharing their feelings (whutttt—who are they? like the character growth? i’m sobbing), references to jk’s weverse lives, mentions of death, language smut warnings: i am sorry (not sorry) for all the seven references, protected sex (they haven’t been with anyone else since they broke up, but they’re being safe, and to our surprise, it’s kook’s suggestion), jk is a lil dommy, use of lube, dirty talk, oral (f. receiving), fingering (from the front and behind—don’t judge me), titty sucking, kissing, groping, overstimulation (i blame his weverse live), one small convo during seggs, a lil pussy slapping, lil spanks, light light light anal play (don’t judge me—he just puts his thumb on it….), jk wants to savor every moment with oc, but she's needy af

~ Three weeks later ~

The Netflix meeting in LA was a bust, but you wouldn’t let it bring you down. At least Kenji was courteous enough to call you and apologize about his friend. He thought he was doing you a favor but hadn’t realized how slimy Zach was.

The brunch tradition continued with Hyunie, Tae, and Yoongi, but this time, Hyunie didn’t want to host and suggested going out. You didn’t mind at all. It would be nice to get out of the house and get some fresh air.

And as usual, the married couple was running late. You greeted Yoongi, taking a seat beside him. His hair had grown a significant amount since you last saw him. It suited him well, you thought.

“Nice ring,” he said, gawking at the diamond-encrusted jewelry on your fourth finger.

You still needed to get used to it—sometimes, you forgot you had it on. “Oh, thanks,” you mumbled, tucking your hand underneath your thigh. This was the first time you saw Yoongi since leaving for LA, and you were sure he would crack down on what happened.

“I’m guessing you didn’t want to live with the ‘what ifs’ and called lover boy.” He smirked, and a light chuckle left his lips. Honestly, he called it—knew you couldn’t resist, was too lovesick over him just to give up so easily.

“Actually, I didn’t call him. We kind of just—found each other.” And you weren’t lying! You didn’t reach out to him, had no idea you’d bump into him.

Yoongi holds the butter knife upright in his hand, pushing the tip into the blush pink napkin. “Found each other, huh?” he said with disbelief laced in his tone as he looked at you.

You hummed in agreement when your eyes met his. He slowly nodded, not believing a word coming out of your mouth.

“What?” you asked, annoyed at your friend.

He shrugged, putting the butter knife down. “I didn’t say anything.”

You deadpanned. “You didn’t have to. Your face said it all.”

Before your LA trip, you were wavering between what to do and ultimately decided not to call Jungkook. It wasn’t your fault you happened to be at the same hotel at the same time. One might call it destiny.

He wanted to humor you. “Okay—what did my face say then?”

You gawked at him. “That you think I’m dumb for going back to someone who cheated on me.”

“Damn, I’m kind of harsh,” he laughed.

You pursed your lips and nudged his shoulder. “Just be happy for me.”

Yoongi scoffed. “I didn’t say anything, and you’re putting words into my mouth.” You wave him off. “Didn’t I tell you that whatever decision you made would be the right one? You obviously chose one way, and the universe chose another.”

You couldn’t help but dramatically gasp, hand on your chest. “Does Min Yoongi believe in destiny? What’ve you done with the grumpy grandpa persona?”

His upper lip raises in annoyance. “He didn’t go anywhere. He’s still here.” He straightens his blueberry milk grandpa-colored cardigan.

“I can’t wait for you to meet him,” you said, sipping your water. Yoongi doesn’t say anything. He just grunts. “You’ll like him; you will.” He grunts again, finally breaking into a smile.

“I’m happy for you. I’m glad you guys are back together.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, so I can fucking stop hearing about you complain and be all googly eyes for him all the time.”

You playfully shove him. “Shut up. I did not talk about him that much.”

“You shut up, and yes, you did,” Yoongi spat back, cocking his head.

The two of you continued to bicker, nudging and shoving until Kim Taehyung interrupted, “Yah, yah, yah! What are you two fighting about?”

“Nothing!” The two of you said in unison.

If there was one person’s opinion you came to respect within the last year, it was Yoongi’s. You appreciated that he was always willing to listen, even though you sometimes felt he didn’t want to—regardless, he was still a good friend and did it anyway. You loved how straightforward he was and didn’t have many friends who could be gentle, supportive, and direct. You were happy he had unexpectedly come into your life when you needed someone the most.

The remote had become your best friend these last few days. You didn’t want to start a new drama in case it disappointed you, so you opted for your favorite: Start-Up.

Almost a year later, not having watched it. You had forgotten how much it made you kick your feet, giggle, and cry an ocean of tears. Rewatching these episodes just made you fall more in love with Bae Suzy and Nam Joo-hyuk, and maybe you were feeling all mushy gushy because you and Jungkook rekindled your romance.

The tissue you had in hand had become damp when you wiped away your tears again. It was the fifth one, and you were only halfway through the episode when your phone started buzzing.

When you saw ‘boyfie’ light up on the screen, you wiped any mascara that smudged and fixed your hair before answering. You didn’t want him thinking you were crying because of him.

“Hello?”

The screen is fairly dim from Jungkook’s end. All you could hear was him groaning before he croaked out a ‘hi.’

You giggled, checking the time on your phone. “Isn’t it early for you?”

“Too early,” he replied, carding his hand through his fluffy hair to get a better look at you. He moves the phone closer, narrowing his eyes. “Are you crying? Why are you crying?” He shifted into an upright position against the headboard.

“I’m just watching Start-Up. I promise. No one made me cry.” He had a look of relief on his face before he slumped down onto his pillow. “Kook, go back to sleep. I’ll talk to you later.”

Jungkook shook his head and pouted. “I’m fine, baby. I missed you. That’s why I called.” He slumped further down the bed, pulling the duvet underneath his chin. “I’m pretending this blanket is you.” He nuzzled his face into it.

He missed you that much, huh? Well, you missed him and couldn’t wait to be with him again. You didn’t know how people could have long distance relationships, three weeks was really too long for anyone to be apart.

“You’re such a dummy.”

“Your dummy?” he asks with a close-lipped smile.

You hummed. “My dummy.”

Seeing Jungkook so cozy and snuggled up made you want to do the same. You grabbed a throw blanket that was settled into a basket next to the couch. Your attention went back to Jungkook, who looked like he had fallen asleep. You rolled your eyes because you had told him just to sleep.

“Boyfie?”

Jungkook groaned and inhaled a deep breath before popping up with sleepy eyes. “Yeah, baby?”

You weren’t going to lie. Him calling you baby and you calling him boyfie was making your insides all tangled up. “Go to sleep. Dream some good dreams, okay?”

“My dream is right in front of me. I don’t need to dream.”

You shifted your position, leaning back on a throw pillow, legs spread across the couch. “Were you always this cheesy?”

“Only when I’m with you,” he mumbled into the blanket again as he dozed off.

At this point, you were happy you didn’t have anything lined up for you because your new job was making sure this baby star candy didn’t fall asleep with a candle lit or something. But good thing you also had Bamie on your side. He would surely come to the rescue of his owner and their crazy antics.

“Baby,” he grumbled, looking at his screen.

You answer softly, ‘Yeah’, snuggling yourself into the blanket, the little screen of your boyfie in front of you.

“I put in my two weeks' notice at work and told my landlord about breaking my lease.”

He had discussed moving back, and you felt guilty for him having to do so. It would’ve been easier for you to move out there, granted, LA was the place to live if you wanted more writing opportunities, but he insisted he wanted to be near family and friends.

“I feel bad,” you admit.

Jungkook perks up, shifting against his headboard again. “What? Why? Please don’t feel bad. I want to move back.”

“I know, but I feel like I’m taking you away from your life, and then you have to bring Bamie on such a long flight too, then you’ll have to start over—find a new job, a new place.” You could continue listing many things, but you decided to stop overthinking.

“I’m not worried about finding a new job. I’ll probably talk to my old boss and see if they have anything open for me. And in terms of a new place, I could just stay with you.”

You visibly gulped when he said that. “Like move in with me?”

Jungkook pouts, nervously toying with his lip ring. “Do you not want that?” he asked with apprehension in his voice.

“I, um, I mean, don’t you think my place is too small for Bam?” You have had your apartment for the longest time since graduating college. Even when you were with Kenji and U-jin, you were always at their place because it was bigger, but when you were with Jungkook, it always felt like home, just big enough for the two of you, and you didn’t think Bamie would like how small your place was. He was a big pup and deserved something better than your dinky little apartment.

“We could just get a new place together,” Jungkook suggested nonchalantly, like there was no weight to his words.

You squint your eyes. “Jeon Jungkook, is this your subtle way of asking me to move in with you?”

Jungkook chuckled. “I can’t get anything past you, huh? But yes, it makes sense, right?” He had been sitting on the thought since discussing wanting to move back. It wouldn’t make sense to go back and forth between two apartments.

“I mean, yeah, you were practically living here anyway, and I’d want Bamie to have someplace where he could have more space.” Bamie was a big boy, and you wanted him to be comfortable too.

“So,” Jungkook’s smile grew, “We’re moving in together?”

You stared blankly at your boyfie. “You technically didn’t ask me yet.”

He cleared his throat. “Babe, baby, sweetheart, the love of my life. Will you move in with me?”

Love of his life, hmm? You could get used to him saying that. You sighed. “I don’t know. You’re kind of a messy guy,” you teased.

Jungkook scoffed. “Me? Messy? Have you seen my apartment? It’s spotless—”

“Kook! I’m kidding. I know you’re the cleaning and laundry fairy—and yes, I would love to move in with you.” You knew moving in with Jungkook would mean you wouldn’t be allowed to clean or do your own laundry again. But that was a good trade-off, right?

He giggled, slumping from his sitting position onto his side. “I can’t wait. This’ll be so much fun.”

Although Jungkook had slept at your place almost 24/7 when you were together, you wouldn’t be aware of his late-night cooking and karaoke sessions until much later.

You purse your lips and roll your eyes. “I’ll start looking for places today, so everything will be ready by the time you arrive.”

“Perfect.”

Moving in together was a big step, and you didn’t want to overanalyze this choice. If you and Jungkook were still together, you figured at one point or another, the natural progression in a relationship would be to move in. This decision felt good, it felt right.

You were moving the last of your boxes, ensuring everything would go smoothly before Jungkook and Bamie’s arrival. Your phone ringtone goes off; of course, it’s the boyfie.

“Hey,” you answered. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I, um, I couldn’t sleep, so I called.”

You knew he had an early flight returning to Seoul in a few hours and wondered why he was still up. “Too excited, hmm?” you chuckled.

His soft chuckle made it seem like something else was on his mind. “Something like that.”

“I’m kidding, boyfie. Tell me what’s on your mind,” you asked as you sat on the floor against the empty white wall. The apartment seemed spacious with nothing in it but you and a few boxes.

Jungkook sighed. “This is gonna sound stupid.”

“Come on, you can tell me. We talked about being open, right?”

“Um, remember when you were here, and we were talking, and you said you almost let someone you know in a bathroom?”

You didn’t mean to laugh aloud, but you couldn’t help it. “That’s what’s keeping you up? A distant memory of me almost sleeping with some guy?” You shuddered thinking about that moment–boy, you were really unhappy, weren’t you? But you understood where he was coming from, though. You were sure he was just curious.

“Yeah…”

“You’re adorable,” you teased, shaking your head and wanting to kiss him through the phone.

“Shut it,” he grumbled, burying his face into his duvet.

“You’re so cute. I just wanna pinch your cheeks. I’ll be sure to do so when you get here. My cutie patootie wittle bunny is jealous I almost slept with someone,” you giggled. You always knew Jungkook was the jealous type. He wouldn’t even let Namjoon help you with peeling a perilla leaf–what a weirdo.

“Okay—I’m hanging up now,” he said.

“No, no, no. I’m kidding. What about it?” His little spurt of jealousy was too hard not to joke about.

“Um, have you slept with anyone else since we broke up?”

“No,” you answered quickly. Even if you wanted to, your mind and heart was full of Jeon Jungkook and no one else would even be able to take your mind off him. “He was the closest thing to me sleeping with anyone, but other than that, I haven’t slept with anyone. What about you?”

“Oh, no—you were my last,” he says confidently, like it was a flex.

“Oh—” It’s not like you were expecting him to say Alex, but you were expecting him to say Alex. It only made sense since you thought she was a big reason for him leaving. You had convinced yourself he had run back to her.

“What?” he asked, piquing his interest.

“Oh, I don’t know. I just thought—”

“You just thought I would’ve slept with someone?” There were plenty of opportunities at company functions or when he was out with Jimin and Lana, but it just didn’t feel the same for him. He didn’t want a one night stand. He wanted to be in love, have one person consume every single fiber of his being, overtake him, and if none of them were you, then no one could have him.

You didn’t want to name names and Jungkook already mentioned that Alex left the company. “I don’t know. I mean, yeah, have you seen yourself in the mirror?” Obviously, you wanted to jump his bones the moment you saw him in LA, and it was so fucking hard not to tempt him into staying at the hotel with you that night.

He laughed. “Well, I just hope that means I can fuck you when I see you,” he confessed, licking his lips and winking.

“Jeon Jungkook!”

“What? I know you’re thinking the same thing. You’re the one that wanted to tear off my clothes.”

Now you wish you didn’t say anything to him about that. You mumbled something indistinct, not clear enough for him to hear. “Good god—”

“Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t been thinking about my dick in your tight little cunt,” he said in such a confident tone.

You gasped because cocky, bratty Jungkook was back and in full swing. “Okay—goodbye—go to sleep! You have a long day of travel ahead of you!”

Jungkook couldn’t help getting in a few last words. “I can’t wait to put my mouth on your—”

You quickly ended the video call. Your pussy clenched around nothing, just thinking about Jungkook being inside you again, having his lips on your waist, his hands tracing your lines. Fuck. You might just have to break out the vibrator tonight.

Not a moment later, you received a text.

boyfie 11:35 PM you didn’t let me finish…

you 11:35 PM i’ll let you show me when you get here.

you 11:36 PM goodnight! see you soon.

Jungkook gazed at the airport’s glossy marble flooring, staring off into space while holding a bouquet of white and yellow chamomile. His flight landed earlier than expected, and picking up Bam from baggage claim was effortless. He sat in a trance, wanting to pinch himself. Was this real? Was he sitting at Incheon airport waiting for you to pick him up?

He must’ve done something good in his past life, had an angel looking out for him, or after making wishes on shooting stars, his own finally aligned back to you.

How he missed home so much. The familiarity of the city was indelible. No way to remove it from his body–he was made for Seoul.

Bam sat beside Jungkook, waiting patiently, watching people pass them by. He would show excitement whenever Jungkook mentioned your name–his tail wagging, tongue out, and panting. He was just as eager as Jungkook to see you again.

You cursed the car that took your spot even though you had signaled, indicating you were there first, but you wanted to avoid getting into an accident or tussle before picking up Jungkook and Bamie–it was the last thing you wanted.

When you walked through the sliding glass doors and up the escalators, there he was, Jeon Jungkook—the love of your life, the one who made your heart flutter, the one you couldn’t live without. He was here in the flesh, and this wasn’t a dream you’d have to wake up from.

You stood, not moving an inch, wanting to capture this moment. The pair of you had gone through so much to get to where you are, and mistakes were made along the way, but you believed the best was yet to come.

He was sitting, daydreaming like usual, with a bouquet in hand, and when he finally broke out of his daze, he stood, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot in love. Bam stood on all fours looking up at Jungkook, waiting to see if he’d give him the okay to go toward you, but Jungkook never did.

The two of you stood smiling and smitten, enamored, being in this place of a love that was never lost but only put on pause. It was like a scene out of a movie, where the long, lost lovers finally reunite and get their happy ending.

You raced to him, jumping into his arms, making him drop the bouquet. Cupping his face, you placed kisses all over. All the while, Bam barked in excitement at the sight of you.

“Someone’s excited to see me,” he said, tightening his grip around your waist.

“You have no idea.” You leaned down, capturing his lips with yours, pulling him closer, inhaling all of him, wanting to give yourself as an offering, but remembering that you were still in public and it’d have to wait.

Bam whined, looking up with his big doe eyes. Jungkook set you down. You kneeled to him, cupping his cute face. “I didn’t forget about you, Bamie,” you said before he licked your face.

You stood to kiss Jungkook again, wrapping your arms around his neck, not giving two fucks who was around or if anyone was watching. The love of your life was back, and no one could stop you from showing your devotion to him.

“God–I missed you. These last few weeks have been torture.” You’d spend every waking minute thinking about what he was doing, counting down every second until you’d see him again.

Jungkook giggled. “I could get used to this. You telling me how much you love and miss me.” He quite liked the attention and affection.

You suppose you were never the type to show this much adoration in public, but you were ready to stand on top of a building and shout to the entire world how much you loved this man. Be one of those girlfriends who captured every moment of their partner and gushed about them on social media during every made-up romantic holiday.

“I love you,” you whispered, your chin digging into his chest as you looked at him.

He hummed. “I thought I’d never hear that again,” he admitted. Since leaving for LA, he had given up hearing those three words from you.

“You’ll hear it as long as you’ll have me.”

Jungkook pulled back, both hands gently cupping your face, his starry eyes staring into yours. With a soft smile, he uttered, “I want you forever.”

Blindfolds had become a running joke between you, and you couldn’t help but continue the silly tradition. You wanted to surprise Jungkook with the new apartment, and blindfolding him was the only way to keep this secret, right?

Jungkook shuffled down the hallway, his hands out in case he ran into anything, and Bam followed his parents, tilting his head at the curious pair. Bam alarmed Jungkook by barking when he almost ran into the door.

When everyone was through the threshold, you took off his blindfold, ready for him to hopefully love this new place where you’d be creating new memories together.

Jungkook’s jaw dropped, peering around the room—from the floor to the ceiling to the sliding glass door leading to the balcony. He knew you made some good money but not this good.

“How—how did you find this place? It couldn’t have been cheap, baby.” He walked around the living room, picking up a frame that held a photo of you, him, Yuna, and Namjoon at their wedding. It was one of your first photos together as a couple.

“I know someone,” you said, wiggling your eyebrows.

When you mentioned having to look for a new place to the brunch crew, Yoongi swooped in to save the day because he had a friend who was a realtor, and they happened to have a vacant place ready for move-in.

“Are you sure we can afford this place?” he asked.

You chuckled at his hesitancy. “I got a good deal on it. Don’t worry.” Jungkook narrowed his eyes and huffed. “Come on, let me show you around,” you said, holding your hand.

This place was enticing due to the enclosed balcony, nearby restaurants and shopping, plus the orangeade lavender skies at dusk pretty much sealed the deal for you.

You had set up the perfect little area for Bam, ensuring it would feel like home with cozy new toys and his favorite chews. He didn’t even make a fuss and walked straight into his crate, snuggling up in his soft blanket.

“Well, that was easy,” you tease, thinking it’d be harder for him to adjust. But maybe the jet lag took a toll on the big guy.

“I’m gonna shower. Wash the long day off of me,” Jungkook said, leaning over to kiss you on the cheek. You uttered a soft ‘kay,’ letting him go on his way.

While he was singing away in the shower, enjoying the warm steam from the waterfall shower head, you were running around the bedroom to find the perfect outfit for bed. You didn’t know his plans, but you were ready to fuck him—every hour, every minute, every second for the next seven days. Anything was possible with Jeon Jungkook.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, you had finally chosen your outfit. It was minimal and easily discardable. Jungkook opened the bathroom door, ruffling his damp hair with a white towel, beads of water falling onto his honey skin, trailing down the expanse of his broad chest toward that silver piece of jewelry still pierced into his nipple. It took a moment for him to realize you were ogling him.

Your eyes never left his as he walked to you, sitting so prettily on the bed in one of his oversized t-shirts with nothing but lacy panties underneath. Pointing your toes, you swiveled your feet in front of you, pretending to play dumb, your hands leaning back on the bed. “So…”

You feel the softness of the white towel hanging so fucking low on his slutty waist when he knocks into your knees, spreading your legs apart. Your desire grows when you feel the heat radiating off his leg—it pierces straight to your core.

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You closed your eyes, letting out a small breath as you leaned into his touch. His fingers softly grazed your cheek, scanning your features, thinking how beautiful you are. “So—what should we do now?” he asked, lifting your chin so you could focus on him.

Your eyes flutter open, peering through your lashes at this drop-dead gorgeous man. With a small grin, you asked, “Mm, I don’t know. What should we do?” Your hands flew to the towel, tugging it so his waist was more visible. Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his waist, hoping it would ease his mind, alluding to what you wanted–him.

Jungkook’s hands become entangled in your hair as you gently unravel the towel from his body and trail kisses toward his navel. His heart races, his skin tingling all over his body when your lips lead further to his growing erection.

Just as he thinks you’ll continue, you cease all contact, flashing a smirk as you look at him. “Weren’t you gonna show me what you were gonna put your mouth on?” you teased, licking your lips.

He grinned, leaning down, forcing you to lay on the bed, legs spread as he slotted between them. The warmth from his body radiated as he hovered, his hand gripping your waist and the other propping himself up. He couldn’t wait to explore you again, wondering if you were still ticklish when he kissed your shoulders or if he traced your lines, would your skin create goosebumps from his touch?

“Are you gonna show me or just stare at me all night?”

“Both,” he said, kissing your lips, then your cheek, trailing down the column of your neck. He slid his hand underneath the oversized shirt covering what he wanted, pushing it up to reveal the black lacy panties and your bare chest. You helped him by pulling the shirt over your head, exposing your naked body to his lust-filled eyes. Hands traveling across the expanse of your stomach to your breast, rolling your nipple between his fingers. His tattooed hand kneads the soft mound, eyes never leaving you.

As he advances to the already wet mess between your legs, your body arches into him. You had been thinking about fucking him all day and even felt tempted to pull out your vibrator, but who fucking needs that when you have Jeon Jungkook to get the job done?

His eyes flickered up, and he wasn’t doing much to you, but he had missed hearing your sweet gasps and whimpers.

The anticipation of what he’s gonna do has you spiraling into a deep abyss, and you’d keep falling if he didn’t bring you back. His lips pressed kisses into your thighs, his hands spreading your legs wider to access that pretty pussy he’d missed so much. If he could, he’d spend hours exploring, teasing, and riling you up, but as much as you needed a release, so did he.

Jungkook spent too many sleepless nights thinking about you. How you’d wrap your legs around him, whine and moan as you rode him, his hands guiding you, spanking you, gripping each and every part of you.

“Kook,” you mewled, almost out of breath. He looked up and hummed. “Do you even remember what I like?” you teased him.

He chuckled. “Let me show you how well I remember.” His finger toyed with the lacy fabric, looping through, pulling it higher to see your pussy peeking through it. “Fuck—I can’t wait to taste this pussy again.” He was practically salivating. His cock is so fucking hard he swears he would come if his mouth touched your lips.

He kissed the spot just above your clit, making your body squirm beneath him. Moving your panties to the side, he spread your folds with his fingers. His wet, warm tongue lay flat, licking from your entrance to your clit. Gently, he sucked on the nub, switching between sucking and licking. Repeating this over and over. Every lick, every suck, every kiss dissolves pleasure into your body.

You could feel your arousal mixed with his saliva dripping down your ass and onto your sheets. You may have to change them out seven days a week if he keeps going like this. Your hands raked through his hair, tugging him closer into your pussy, wanting more of him.

Jungkook pulled away, making you groan at the loss. “Turn around, baby.” You do as he asked, flipping onto your stomach. He admires your backside, drooling at your arousal and his saliva glistening between your legs. His hands tug off the lacy panties, tossing them aside with no care in the world. Now your ass was on full display, ready for him to pounce on and devour like the starved man he is.

He crawls onto the bed, gingerly sitting on your legs. His hands knead and massage the soft flesh of your cheeks. He leans down, kissing your shoulders, making you shudder and whimper as he trails more kisses. His hand reaches underneath you to squeeze your breast, his other hand moving toward your entrance. Jungkook inserts his middle finger, causing a soft groan from you.

“You think you can handle one more?” he whispered into your ear, and you hum in agreement. When he inserts another finger, you muffle your moan into the bed. He moves your hair out of the way. “Mm—I need to hear you, baby.”

“Please,” you begged, trying to rut back onto his fingers. “Please, I need more.”

“I don’t remember you being so needy, baby,” Jungkook teased as he lay beside you. He wanted to watch you come undone because of him. His palm makes a sharp sound against your ass as his fingers curl harder and deeper into your pussy. He’s in knuckle deep, and you’re nothing but a moaning, whining mess. You squeezed your eyes tight, mouth slack, small gasps escaping every time his fingers fuck you harder.

Jungkook removes his fingers from your entrance, gliding back and forth along your slit, just teasing you, wanting you to fucking beg. But he wouldn’t be so mean—he just wanted to take his time with you. Letting every single sensation you had not felt in over a year just wash over you, send you into another plane, another dimension. He wanted your vision to fade to black, let this orgasm be earth-shattering, explosive, making you never forget only he could make you feel this way. No other person would ever come between you again. He’d die before he’d let someone else have you. You were his and his only. He wouldn’t make the mistake of not fighting for you again.

He crawled further toward your ass, pushing your cheeks together so he could slot his hefty dick in between. The sensation makes Jungkook release a guttural groan. He had no fucking idea why he was also teasing himself at this point. He needed to feel his cock being squeezed by your tight walls. Needed to feel like he couldn’t live another day without being inside you.

His leaking tip unexpectedly slips, brushing against your entrance as he’s gliding. The two of you whine in unison at the softest touch. You just want to beg and plead, asking him to fuck you already, but knowing him, he’d tease you even more, prolonging what you really wanted. You’d just have to play along and let him do what he wants—you preferred it anyway.

Jungkook’s tattooed hand guides your waist to shift your position onto your back again. He couldn’t not look at you. Wanted to see you writhe, squirm, fall apart. His fingers are like a magnet, going straight to your pussy. Not one, two, but three fingers inside your cunt, stretching you out, getting you ready for him. You almost think you can’t take it anymore. It’s been too long since you’ve felt him inside you.

He hovers over you again, marking your neck, his free hand fondling your tit, thumb circling your pebbled nipple. All your senses go into overload when he envelopes your other nipple, licking and lapping like there’s no tomorrow. He trails kisses down your center, navel, then to your clit, sucking on it. Switching between circling and making figure 8s, all the while finger fucking you. He looks up, and you’re a mess, just like his saliva dripping down his chin and down to your ass. It’s a lewd show of how much he’s missed your pussy, like it was designed specifically for him.

You clench around his fingers, everything becoming too much for you. Your hands are balling up the sheets as he elicits moan after moan. Lifting your hips off the bed, you rut forward into his hungry mouth. “I’m gonna come.”

Jungkook pulls away and smiles. “I know, baby.” He always knows when you’re close. He could never forget.

Your moan grows louder and louder as he intensifies his speed. The fire pooling in your belly is ready to snap. He had been teasing you for too long, and you couldn’t take it anymore. A surge of waves ripple through your body. You’re quivering, knees shaking, closing in on Jungkook’s head, but he just goes deeper, not stopping. Your pussy is pulsing as he continues to overstimulate you.

You gently push him away, and he tries to go back in. “You thought I was done?” You whine and pout, closing your legs, trying to close off access to you. “I’m not done with you yet,” he said, pulling you toward him. “Just one more baby, you can do it.”

You’re still trying to settle yourself from the first orgasm. You don't know if you can handle another, but you don’t deny him. You’ll just be a crumbling mess throughout the rest of the night.

Jungkook pushes your legs up and buries his head between them again. Your body jolts at the first touch of his lips on your swollen clit. He laps between your folds, and you guide his hand toward your hole, to his surprise. You look down, and his doe eyes are wide, silently asking are you sure? You nod and smile—you know he’s wanted to for the longest time. Reaching the bedside table, you open the drawer handing him a bottle of lube.

He looks between your legs; this is everything he’s wanted. He would live here if he could, set up camp, and never leave. He squeezes a small amount onto his fingers, spreading the lube around your hole. Jungkook’s thumb is pressed lightly onto your hole, causing you to mewl. And as much as he’s wanted this and even dreamt too often about it, maybe he just liked the thought of playing with your hole.

“What’s wrong?” you asked when he stopped. You didn’t think you’d enjoy anything related to anal play, but here you were, relishing in the new sensation. It was definitely something you’d want to explore further with him.

“I, uh, you caught me off guard,” he responds.

You chuckled, never thought you could surprise Jeon Jungkook. “You don’t have to put your finger in, but I like having your thumb against it.”

“You do?”

You hummed. “It feels really good. You can just keep doing that. We can try butt stuff another time after we’ve talked about it more.” There was a look of relief on Jungkook’s face. It was good to know you could still find ways to surprise him.

“I’m sorry,” he confessed.

You shake your head. “Don’t be sorry, boyfie. Come on, I thought you said you weren’t done with me.”

Jungkook grinned, lifting your legs over his shoulders. He dives back in, licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit. He kissed your clit, and then like you wanted, he put his thumb on your hole, causing you to gasp, squeezing your eyes shut at the lightest pressure against it. Your heart pounds obscenely in your chest. Your hands card through his hair, becoming entangled, pushing him further into your pussy.

His warm, wet tongue ravishes this delicacy he’s been missing for over a year. His nose nuzzled into your clit as his tongue delved into your entrance. The combination of his mouth, tongue, nose, and thumb is sending shockwaves to the rest of your body. Your legs are shaking, becoming weaker minute by minute as he continues. You’re intoxicated, dizzy by his devotion to making you collapse.

Jungkook groans against your pussy when he feels your walls contracting. You bite back a moan, knowing you’re close to reaching your peak. You set your legs down when he pulls away, inserting two fingers into your pussy. Saliva is running down his chin, but he doesn’t give a fuck. He has a smug smile on his face as he makes eye contact with you. You’re so delectable. He could spend hours just like this.

“You gonna cum for me, baby?” he questions while working his way up to you. He’s still knuckling deep in your cunt, wet sounds filling the room. He hovers, leaning down to kiss you. You can taste and smell yourself on him, which pushes you over the edge.

He places his forehead against yours, eyes still open, watching as your hand travels to stimulate your clit, rubbing it in circles to speed along the process. Second orgasms always took a lot longer for you to reach.

Jungkook nuzzles into your neck, mouth latched onto your neck, licking and sucking subtle marks. It’s to show the rest of the world you’re his. All the while, your pussy is swallowing his fingers. You’re on the brink of losing all dignity, all composure. The fire in your belly finds its release as your walls spasm and contract around his fingers. Your legs are trembling and quaking beneath Jungkook, an overwhelming sensation floods from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You’re seeing galaxies overtaking your existence as you finish.

As the pleasure subsides, you try to catch your breath. Jesus Christ, you haven’t even had his dick in you yet, and you’re already wiped out.

Looking over, Jungkook is lying beside you, very pleased with himself for making you come twice already. He turns to you, “Condom?”

You shook your head. “Want you raw.”

Jungkook raised his brow. “Baby,” he trailed off. Of course, considering your last scare and health issues, he wanted to feel all of you. He didn’t want to take any risks because the two of you were horny.

He gazed into your eyes. “Condom,” he said firmly. You groaned and pouted, reaching back into the side table drawer for the box of condoms. He couldn’t help but giggle. He had surely missed your eagerness to tempt him otherwise.

You didn’t think you’d find yourself back with Jungkook. You thought destiny had different plans, but everything that happened last year led you back to him. The two of you were different now—more grown up, actually talking and communicating like adults. Telling each other your wants and needs, and you really need him right now.

You’re watching his every move as he rips off the foil, his biceps flexing while rolling the condom on. “Boyfie, what’s taking so long?”

Jungkook smirks, making his way on all four towards you. He props his arms, hovering over you. He can’t believe how beautiful you are, how much he’s missed your touch, your body, the beautiful sounds you make because of him.

He brings his erect cock to your entrance, brushing against your pussy, making you whimper. He slides up and down between your folds, your arousal coating him generously. He watches as your eyes roll back, your mouth slack, soft whines escaping your sweet mouth. He holds his length, slapping it against your sensitive bud.

“Kook, please,” you plead, opening your eyes. You’ve waited long enough.

He places himself in front of your entrance. Your pussy is soaked and slick, ready to go. He gently pushes in the tip, barely scratching your walls, and he pulls out, repeating this torture until you’re squirming, writhing, pulling the sheets. You have to bite your bottom lip to not let out a sob.

Jungkook leaned down. “Wanna hear you beg for it,” he whispered into your ear before biting on your earlobe. His tip is positioned at your sex, ready to penetrate, but not before he has you whining, pleading, imploring for his dick.

You cupped his face, gazing into those starry doe eyes, pulling him down for a kiss. You don’t feel like begging again. Instead, you’d rather make him melt. “I love you, Jeon Jungkook.”

As much as he was so fucking horny at this moment. Those three words would completely destroy him in his most vulnerable state.

“I love you too,” he repeats your words.

He decided enough was enough, and there was nothing else to do but actually fuck you. He watches your face overtaken by pleasure as he pushes in, stretching you inch by inch.

Fuck—you forgot how fucking big he was and how full he made you feel. Jungkook thrusts slowly, looking down as his dick disappears into your soaked cunt. He takes your tit in your mouth again, licking and flicking. Then he props himself onto his knees, shifting you forward, raising your legs to rest on his shoulders so he could penetrate deeper. Your tits shimmy in sync with his thrusts.

Jungkook bites down on his lip. “God, I missed this. Missed you—this pussy—always so fucking tight for me.” He continued rutting into you persistently before he halted.

Your head pops up, your arms propped on the bed. “Is everything okay?” Maybe he hadn’t fucked in so long. You were wearing him out.

He smiled. “Yeah—I just—I’m enjoying this a little too much. I don’t wanna come yet.” He leaned to kiss you.

“Can I be on top?”

He showed off a bunny smile. Low-key, he loves it when you’re on top. “Be my guest.”

He sets your legs down on the bed, and he happily lays against the headboard, his cock softening just a bit. You straddle his legs, hands reaching for his cock, stroking to make him erect. You eased yourself onto him, the stretch filling you up. You began rolling your hips in a fluid motion, slowly and provocatively. You could feel sweat developing behind your knees and on the nape of your neck, but at this point, you didn’t care; you’d fuck him all night if you needed to.

Jungkook props himself up, eyes filled with lust as he watches you riding him. You hold onto his shoulders for leverage, throwing your head back. You continue rolling your hips back and forth, letting every inch of his dick leave your pussy, only to put right back in. He grabs your waist, putting more pressure between you.

“Fuck—that’s good, baby, just like that,” he encouraged as he bit down on his lip, eyes focused on your pussy swallowing his cock. His tattooed hand spanks your ass, the sound reverberating throughout the room and the lewd sounds of hips snapping against each other.

You flashed a smile as your head was lolled back, and he repeated it again. Another hard spank. Your tits are in his full view, and he can’t help but reach for it, pinching the hardened nub. Leaning forward, your lips latch onto his neck, sucking and marking him. His arms wrapped around you as he began to thrust from underneath, his dick almost slipping out from the lust-filled frenzy of his movements.

You’re flush against him, chest to chest, holding onto his shoulders for dear life as he rams hastily from below. Your gasps and moans encourage him to reach for his climax.

God, he fucking wishes he could have you raw, but you guys would have to discuss that at a different time. All he wanted at this moment was to find his sweet release.

His hands are gripped tightly onto the soft flesh of your cheeks, making you stroke his dick back and forth. His teeth are digging into his bottom lips, ready to bleed at this point.

“Come for me, Kook,” you urged.

His cheeks are burning, his heart racing beneath you. The muscles in his abdomen tighten, heat spreading under his skin. With one last thrust, he emptied himself into the condom. His chest is heaving. His breath is shattered as he lets out a whispered, fuck.

The two of you smile like complete idiots when you hold yourself up to look at him. You pull yourself off to lay beside him.

He turns to you. “Wanna go again?”

You playfully smack him across the chest. “Don’t you dare come near me.”

“Aw, come on, one more time for me.”

You shook your head. “I swear to God, Jeon Jungkook—you really will be the death of me.”

The night before felt like a fever dream. Your body aches everywhere, even in places you didn’t know existed. But you loved the familiar weight of Jungkook’s tattooed arm draped over you. You definitely didn’t mind that.

You flip over to see the big sleeping baby. His light snores and whistling are music to your ears. His wavy, disheveled hair asks you to run your hands through it. The little freckles on his cheek are like a constellation guide, waiting for your fingers to trace and place kisses.

You lean in, kissing his nose, and he doesn’t budge. You do it again, this time lightly biting it too. He grumbles, removing his arm to tuck under the pillow.

Shifting closer, you wanted to wake him up. “Boyfie,” you whisper, inching forward. With his eyes closed, he hums. “Are you up?” He doesn’t respond and hums again.

Jungkook opted to sleep shirtless and pantless, sporting only his black CK underwear underneath the sheets. Your thumb grazes the silver jewelry pierced into his nipple. No sign of life. Then your hand travels down further, palming his soft dick.

“Boyfie,” you say again, your palm pressing harder, cupping his growing erection. “I know you’re up.”

“Mm, not awake. Still sleeping,” he mumbles into the pillow, trying to hide his smile. “Keep going, though. I won’t stop you. Please wake me up.”

You chuckled softly. “We have to get up and get ready. We’re hanging out with Yuna and Namjoon today.”

Jungkook finally opened his sleepy eyes. “But I am up,” he joked, alluding to the erection poking you.

“You’re such a boy.”

“And? I wouldn’t mind a little wake-me-up,” he said, drawing you near him.

“Nuh-uh. They’ll be here in a bit, wondering why we aren’t answering the door!”

“So? They can wait.” Jungkook kisses your shoulder, trailing down your arm.

“Nope. Nope. Nope,” you protest, pushing him away, slipping from his grasp, making him pout. “We have forever to keep fucking each other.”

“Forever?” He perked up, but you already closed the door to the bathroom.

Having everyone together again felt right. With Jungkook by your side and your best friend across from you, you couldn’t forget Namjoon. He was always the level-headed one, encouraging you when needed.

You half-expected baby Indie to meet her bestie, Bamie, but Yuna left her with her grandmother. So, it was just the four of you, just like old times.

“So, how’s everything?” Yuna asked as she closed the cabinet door storing plates and bowls.

You cleared your throat. “It’s great. We’re all just getting settled and adjusting to living together.” The two of you hadn’t even had 24 hours together in this new place yet. It was hard to really gauge how you and Jungkook were feeling.

Yuna hums. It’s the same tone you recognize when she has something else to say but doesn’t want to risk hurting your feelings.

You sighed. “It’s so easy to tell when you have something on your mind. Just say it, Yuna.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Fine—keep it to yourself. Let it stew all day until you’re ready to burst. I just hope I’m not there for that,” you stated, taking the bowls from her grasp.

She groaned, quickly looking at the guys on the couch with a beer before turning to face you. “Okay, okay. I’m obviously happy that my brother’s back and that you’re together again…”

“But?”

“I just—I love you, and I love my brother, and I just don’t want to see either of you get hurt again,” she finally confessed.

You hold your arms out for a hug, and she slowly walks into your embrace. You squeeze her before she pulls away. “I know. Jungkook and I talked a lot, and I don’t think we will give up so easily. He’s my person, and I will choose him every day, even when it’s hard and I just want to give up. I love him, Yuna, and I’ll continue choosing him until the day I die.”

Yuna’s lips thinned. She was caught in the middle, and seeing both sides almost tore her apart. There wasn’t much she could do but support the both of you as best as she could.

You hug her again. “Don’t worry so much, babe. We’ll be okay. We’re taking it one day at a time. That’s all we can really do right now.”

“It’s good to have you back, man,” Namjoon says, clinking his beer can against Jungkook’s.

“It’s good to be back. I really missed you guys.” He looks back at you and Yuna, hugging and whispering away.

“You getting all settled in?”

“Yeah, we are.” Jungkook scratches Bam’s ears, and he looks up at him with his big doe eyes.

Namjoon looks at the two of you over his shoulder before leaning toward Jungkook. “So, uh, are you guys doing okay?” Jungkook’s eyebrows stitch together in confusion, and he nods. Namjoon breathes a sigh of relief. “I love you guys, but damn, I felt like I went through this rollercoaster of a relationship too. It was pretty brutal.”

Jungkook laughed, rubbing Namjoon’s shoulder. “Hyung, we made it out alive on the other side. There’s nothing to worry about now.”

“You, uh, still thinking about your ‘future’?” Namjoon asked, alluding to their conversation when he and Yuna had their housewarming party.

He smiled and nodded. The only dream he had was a future with you, and he was ready to spend the rest of his days getting to know you again, experiencing new things with you, finding new ways to love you, surprise you, excite you.

After Yuna and Namjoon leave, you and Jungkook relax on the couch with Bam, discussing the married couple.

“Were they acting weird, or was it just me?” Jungkook asked, hooking his arm around your neck and kissing your temple.

You chuckled. “No, they were definitely acting weird. But I get it, though. They’re just looking out for us.”

Jungkook hums. “Do you have any other skeletons in your closet I should know about?” he asked half-jokingly.

Well, there was one thing you hadn’t told him about—your mom. And you can tell that your silence makes him worried. “Erm,” you pulled away to face him. “Just one.” Jungkook intently listens. “You know all that stuff with my mom that happened when we were dating?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well, we argued, but then I discovered she’s really not my mom. My dad had an affair early on in their marriage, and then my birth mom died, leaving me with my dad.” A weight was lifted off your shoulder when you expressed what you had been carrying for a long time.

Jungkook’s eyes widen, and he gives you a side hug. “What?” He couldn’t believe the words that came out of your mouth. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay now,” you said, pulling away and giving him a small smile. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt because a part of it did. You understood that you would never have the kind of relationship with your mother you envisioned. “And, um, do you remember when Yuna was in the hospital, and I asked you to hold me while we were, you know—on a—yeah.”

He hummed. “Don’t remind me,” he lets out a soft chuckle.

“My mom was also in the hospital, and I apologized for my dad cheating on her and that she had to raise me. And I also told her that even though she never saw me as hers, she’ll always be my mom even if she doesn’t want to be a part of my life.”

Jungkook sighed. “Baby, I’m so sorry that you went through that. Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I was going through a lot then, and I was pretty insecure about our relationship, all my health stuff, and mom stuff. It was a lot, and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

He lays on your lap, hugging your waist as he looks up at you. “Promise you won’t keep things from me. No matter how hard it is for you to tell me. Just—let’s just be open with one another, okay?”

You hummed in agreement. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“And what about you, huh? Any other psycho ex-girlfriends I should know about?” you said flatly.

Jungkook laughed and shook his head. “No more psycho ex-girlfriends, but there is a psycho ex-boyfriend.” You rolled your eyes, hitting his arm. “Kidding!”

Your first full day with Jungkook and Bam was perfect. You lounged around, unpacked, played with Bam, ate, fucked again, and just like that—nighttime came.

You lay facing Jungkook, finding it difficult to believe he was in front of you. “Pinch me,” you say, and Jungkook pinches your nipple. “Ow–don’t pinch me there,” you scowl, rubbing your pebbled nipple.

“You didn’t tell me where to pinch you,” he retorts.

You rolled your eyes. “Fair–”

“Why do I need to pinch you?”

You tuck your hands underneath your cheek. “Because I don’t want this to be a dream.”

Jungkook flashes a small smile, moving a stray hair out of the way. “You’re not dreaming, baby. I promise.”

“But what if I am? And there’s not a strong enough kick to wake me up? What if my totem never falls, and I really am dreaming all of this?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Are you referring to Inception right now?” He laughs, and you push him away.

“I’m being serious, Jungkook.”

His smile falters, and he’s in serious mode now. He shifts closer, draping his arm over you, holding the small of your back. “I know what you mean. We’ve been through a lot, and if you look at where we’ve been and where we are now, it’s pretty remarkable that we survived through it all. But trust me, baby, this–us–it’s real.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just in my head,” you say, resting your hand on his cheek and kissing his lips. “You’re here. Bamie’s here. I’m here,” you chuckle. What else did you really need?

Jungkook gazes into your eyes, ensuring you’re okay. He snuggles in closer, tucking your head under his chin.

“Boyfie?” He hums. “Where do you see us in five years?”

If there was one thing you really did want, you needed to talk to him about it first.

“Five years is a long time from now.”

“Yeah, I know, but I just want us to be on the same page. I don’t want us heading in different directions, hoping we can read each other’s mind or something,” you admit.

Jungkook chuckles, finding you so fucking cute. He withdraws from the embrace, looking at you. “This is what I want to say: I want to focus on the present and worry about the future later. But you want to hear this: I see us getting married, and maybe Bamie has a friend he can play with.”

He didn’t mention the one thing that you were thinking of. You assumed he was avoiding the elephant in the room. “What about kids?”

He takes a deep breath. “Well, I know we have some difficult circumstances with that, but I’d be okay if we didn’t have any. Why? What are you thinking?”

Ever since you got back from LA, you have been doing a lot of research for fertility treatments, along with speaking to your doctor. And who knows, with the ways technology has advanced these days, there could be a possibility of kids in the future. You understood that the road ahead would be tough, but you knew that with Jungkook by yourself, you could weather through anything.

“I, um, I’ve been thinking about starting fertility treatments. I know it’s not a given, and I don’t want to put too much hope into it because who knows if we can even get pregnant,” you stopped because it sounded ridiculous when spoken aloud. “Ugh—it’s dumb and wishful thinking, isn’t it—”

Jungkook holds a finger to your mouth, shushing you. “Baby, if you want this, then I want it too. I’ll do whatever I can to support you. You’re not alone in this, okay?”

You smile. “Thanks, that means a lot, and I know I’m just overthinking again.”

“We’re doing this together, remember?”

“Together,” you lean over to kiss him. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Me too. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Jungkook had this hold on the thing in your chest, and you wouldn’t wanna settle for anyone less. He really had become your place of comfort, ease, and stillness. It felt so easy to slip back into your old routine. You could do this every hour, every minute, every second, seven days a week. Night after night, you just wanted to love him, right.

next ✨ 20 ~ ending credits

[toastedjeans]

I'm sick and i have a massive headache so here's some Pizza Tower AU ideas i thought of while in pain

Feel free to yoink these and expand upon them if you want

Everything's the same except Gustavo goes to deal with the tower while Peppino stays behind in the pizzeria just in case he gets customers (spoilers, he doesn't). Gustavo gets help from either Mr. Stick or Burton (idk much about Burton but i think that'd be a neat idea). Also i think it'd be cute if Gus gave Pep like. A family heirloom or something as a promise that he'll be back. Like, maybe a ring or something. And Peppino just wears it around his neck so he doesn't lose it. I mean, his pockets could have holes in them ya know. Also i think Gus would befriend the enemies, or at least Fakey. I can imagine him entering the stage and seeing Fakey standing there with his back to him and thinking it's Peppino for a second and when Fakey approaches and doesn't attack him, he just. Sits with him and talks.

PT but Stanley Parable with Pizzahead/Pizzaface as the Narrator, Peppino as Stanley, Gustavo and Brick as the emotional support bucket, and Pepperman as the Curator. That's all i could think of lol

Peppino's dreams can be entered and once someone's in there they can't get out before they didn't complete some kind of objective. When he wakes up they're trapped until he falls asleep again. Now here's the thing. If they die in the dream, you guessed it, they die irl. This doesn't apply to Peppino tho, if he dies he just wakes up. For example, if he gets stabbed, he'll wake up, but with pain on the spot where he got stabbed. And to make things even more difficult, Peppino has frequent nightmares, often about the war. So now imagine the PT cast hopping into Peppino's mind (or getting trapped there), and one by one they die in his dreams, and in the end they're all missing. Or if we wanna make things less angst heavy, the others can influence his dreams and make them nicer. Maybe they have some kinda powers? Like i could imagine Pepperman with maybe a magical paintbrush that can bring the things he draws to life or change the environment. Gus could have control of nature maybe. Mr. Stick could fly (cause of the propeller hat) idk man I'm in pain

Siren AU. Peppino is human, everyone else is a siren/mermaid/other sea creature. Maybe some of them can transform like in Luca. I want Pep and Gus to either be friends already, but Pep doesn't know about Gus being a sea creature, or they meet when Pep almost drowns while fishing and Gus brings him to the surface again. Also am i gonna be predictable and turn Fakey into a frog or do i turn him into something different? How about an oarfish? Not entirely sure what to do with Pizzahead/Pizzaface, maybe there's like. A turf war going on between some of the creatures or something idk. And Pizzahead is the leader. Pizzaface could be a stingray lol. Or one of those flat fish. Anyway in the end Peppino can somehow end the conflict

[newcomernewcums]

Can I get a combo of "A kiss from someone the other didn't think thought of them that way" "A kiss stemmed from jealousy" & "An angry kiss in the rain" from the Kiss Promt list perhaps? W/ Price × reader idc if it's sfw or not. Ya girl just needs a lil angst 🤤 I may be asking for too much but..😶‍🌫️

two ppl asked for kissing in the rain so i’m combining it into this! Happy valentine’s yall im eating so much chocolate

Price x reader (MOSTLY sfw (i’m reading this back there’s one lil implied fantasy whoops im so sorry im keeping it tho), age difference, lil’ angsty with a happy ending):

He shouldn’t’ve entertained it in the first place. As soon as he noticed the way you stared at him he should’ve pulled you aside, stopped talking to you, anything to nip it in the bud. It’s wrong on so many levels, he’s your superior, he’s training you, he’s…significantly older.

He doesn’t do anything to stop it, though. Can’t even bring himself to care about the age difference when his mind wanders to what his hands would look like wrapped around your waste, what you would look like pressed into his pubic hair, throat constricting around his—

It’s a problem now. He has to shut it down.

It’s valentine’s day and he’s sitting in his office, pouring over papers utterly alone. It doesn’t get to him, really, it’s just… not a fun day.

His head shoots up at a knock on the door, and then his heart sinks as you step into the room. It’s in his stomach when he glances down to see you holding a single rose in a tiny round glass. Where the fuck did you get a rose on base? He doesn’t say anything as you place it on the edge of his desk, stays quiet as you confess your feelings, eyes sweet and hopeful.

Any why wouldn’t you be hopeful? He’s indulged you too much, indulged himself. Allowed smalltalk to led to deeper conversations, let you sit on the roof with him as he smokes, told you to call him John, put his jacket around your shoulders when you got cold. He’s been so fucking stupid, and now you’re here with a red rose on valentine’s day and he has to break your heart.

You’re crying as you leave his office.

He’s pulled to the party against his better judgement. Ends up standing in the corner, talking to Soap and Gaz as he looks at the pitiful cut-out hearts and streamers taped to the ceiling. Last minute decorations since it had to be moved inside when it started raining. He ruefully thinks that that’s apt.

He’s trying to ignore you across the room, stop his eyes from wandering over everytime Soap goes on another tangent. He’s failing miserably. He thought he had more control, but you’re dressed up—taking advantage of one of the only times you don’t have to be in uniform—and surrounded by other recruits. Your friends, he guesses as he pushes down the jealous twinge in his stomach everytime you smile at one of them.

You look…happy. Genuinely happy, the kind of happy that makes his heart skip a beat every time he draws it out of you. That should be good, he knows he should be glad that whatever you were feeling for him was just a schoolyard crush, but it just makes his blood boil.

He tries to convince himself it’s fine. He’s not thinking about you. He’s not regretting every action that led him here—and he’s definitely not thinking about the rose he has tucked in a shelf in his desk where nobody else can see it—as one of your “friends” takes the liberty to wrap an arm around your lower back to lean in and whisper something in your ear.

But his feet are moving as soon as he sees you leave the group, following you into the small kitchen on base, effectively blocking you in as you try to refill your drink.

You feel him immediately, stiffening up, turning towards him with wide and confused eyes.

“John-?”

“Your friends seem pretty comfortable around you,” comes out before he can stop it.

“W-what?” You look cute when you’re confused, nose scrunching up as you take a step backwards. It only serves to make him angrier.

“Just thought you needed a reminder of appropriate relations,” he growls, crossing his arms as your confusion starts to morph into anger, “I was prepared to let your little stunt go earlier, but if you’re slutting yourself out all over base-“

“Fuck you, Price,” you push past him, out the doors towards the barracks. The look on your face is seared into his brain, there was only a second of anger before your eyes were welling with tears and you just looked broken.

He’s chasing you before he can think. The rain is heavy, immediately soaking through his clothes straight to his skin but he doesn’t fucking care. He catches up to you easily, grabbing your arm and spinning you around to say something, but you’re yelling at him before he can figure out what to say.

And he knows he’s cruel, and he knows you should hate him, he knows they were just your friends, and he overreacted, and you don’t say it, but he knows an old man like him really really doesn’t deserve someone as sweet and caring and honest as you. Someone who would confess their feelings on valentines day, who would bring him a flower—nobody’s ever gotten him flowers before—who would stay up late to listen to his old stories, and continue to sit there with him when he got quiet as the memories got too painful.

He just can’t say that. Because he’s too old for you, and it’s not allowed, and he’s too much of a chicken. And you look so beautiful, hair matted to your head, a couple strands sticking to your face as you yell over the rain. So he does the only thing he’s thinking about right now, grabs you by the waist and pulls you in.

You stiffen for a second, hands coming up to his pecs, and he thinks you’re going to push him away, yell at him some more. He thinks that this is all he’ll ever get of you, but then you’re melting against his, pulling him closer, as your lips start to move against his.

Your lips are red and swollen when you break apart, and he can’t tell if the wetness is from the rain or his spit. He rests his forehead against yours, winds his arm around you.

“‘m sorry, ‘m so sorry,” he whispers, hoping that he’ll never have to let you go again.

[imaginespazzi]

Hey pookie,

First off, since you achieved your goal of keeping part 2 shorter, imma try to do the same with this ask! So here goes my thoughts on part 2:

I should have already known as soon as I saw the lyric/song you chose that this was gonna hurt bad, but I still was not prepared for how bad. Side note: I listened to Happier while I was reading it for the second time – I do not recommend if you don’t want your heart to break even more.

I know I said I wanted Paige to suffer… WELL I TAKE IT BACK- my favourite blonde has suffered enough 😭

Her entire drunken monologue about what she would have done if it was her that took Azzi on a date- fuuuuuck I can’t- but oh man it was so well written and so heartbreaking.

And then oh- that last part and when she realised that it wasn’t her that Azzi was looking for (although I still believe that subconsciously, it was a certain blonde that she was searching for in the crowd)

ZOE WHEN I CATCH YOU 🫵 (you did nothing wrong, BUT STILL)

I did let out a lil giggle tho (In between my crying) at blondie running into a wall cos she was so desperate to get away 🤭

Side note: the first scene was top tier; I just love Paige and the Fudds interactions and Azzi and Drew interactions 🫂

Side note 2: Angela being chosen as one of the menace teammates, I see the vision truly, she would be that girl lmao

Favourite line/quote: “she’s who you were supposed to be…” 💔

So overall, my heart was as cracked as paige's screen protector was by the end of it, and I just want blondie to finally get to take her bestie out on their dream date. BUT I do love angst so maybe I can handle just a tiny bit more suffering (I guess I’m taking back my earlier takeback), sorry paige 🙈

Thoughts on what’s to come (potentially):

I know I said in a previous ask that in my mind, summer breaks are when it gets especially messy and seeing as we’re up to a summer break in the timeline, oof bestie I can’t wait to see what you have in store for them (and us).

Also, the first meeting between Zoe and Paige- I know that would be explosive, like Paige would just be constantly trying to prove that she knows Azzi best 👀

“you don’t even know the things I said to her before she left for LA. And she’s still here” – another teaser of that fight, ugh I so desperately wanna know, but also not know, what she actually did say that night.

As always, thank you for this incredible story. I was so prepared (well, not really but I could have been) to wait at least a couple weeks for this part cos ya know we never wanna pressure you and I know you still got actual life to deal with, so the fact that you put this out ONE WEEK later - we don’t deserve you, truly. 🥺

Ok omg lemme wrap this up now, and ignore the part where I said I’d try to keep this ask short(er) because I’m pretty sure this is my longest one yet? I’m sorry – the key word there was obviously: try.

Much love always 💗

-🙋‍♀️

Hi bestie <3

Please I love your long asks, don't ever stop.

Fun fact I was torn between using Ed Sheeran's Happier or Oliviia Rodrigo's Happier (does she mean you forgot about me) but also kind of wanted to use The 1 (if my wishes came true, it would have been you).

I KNEW YOU (and everybody else) WOULD FLIP THE MINUTE I GAVE Y'ALL SAD PAIGE like y'all love her too much (me af) 😭

We're gonna come back to Azzi and her searching the crowds during the game next chapter (also just gonna add here, the anon asking if Azzi knows Paige was at the game, she doesn't...yet)

WAIT okay, do we want Zoe to be a good kind gf or no? Cause I have two ways this could go lol

Poor Angela caught some strays. It was between her and Emily Bessoir and I was like nah Angela fits better, so I'm glad you agree babe

Aww babes I'm sorry to break you like Paige's screen protector 💀 (is this a bad time to tell you that it very much is not getting better anytime soon so hopefully you can handle a lot more than little)

SUMMER BREAK I'M SO EXICTED (muahaha)

Mini confession, I also don't actually know what the argument before Azzi left for UCLA actually was...very much a work in progress oops-

Let's see if I can actually stick to my weekly timelines (hmmmm)

Love you always pookie 💗

[thelampisaflashlight]

Not Forever, Just For Now

[A bit of a drabble featuring Dew and Cirrus having a bit of an emotional conversation, because we’re still on the grief/angst train atm. Does this count as hurt/comfort? I’m not sure.]

“I don’t know.” Cirrus mumbles into her palm, eyes distant as her body relaxes into the couch beside Dew, “I think... I think sometimes you can just feel lonely without there being a deeper meaning to it, ya know.”

She brushes away a strand of his hair from his cheek, “Sometimes, we want to feel the people around us, or maybe we need to feel them... Emotionally, physically... We need to feel connected, and when we spend all of our time focused on work or the things we need to do, we forget to take time to be with each other.”

Dew sags into the couch, his body leaning naturally towards the ghoulette, his head coming to rest on her shoulder, and in turn, Cirrus rests her chin on the top of him and sighs.

“It’s hard for you to be vulnerable, because you’ve taught yourself how to put up walls and just let all your feelings roll off your back like water, but, Dew...” she whispers into his hair, “You can tell us when you’re hurting... You’re very good at letting things go, but I know there’s times where something stings more than normal. We all have days like that, but it shouldn’t minimize how you feel.”

“...I don’t know.” Dew croaks, “It’s... I know you guys wouldn’t... I know you wouldn’t... I just... Fuck, gimme a minute.”

Sitting up slightly, but keeping a bit of grounding contact with Cirrus, Dew takes a deep breath and continues.

“It’s not easy for me to articulate how I feel in the moment.” he says in an uncharacteristically soft tone, “I want to be able to say EXACTLY why I’m upset or frustrated, but sometimes it’s easier just to tamp it down or get angry.”

“It’s easier to be mad than confess exactly how and why something someone did... hurt. I don’t even like admitting that much. I feel like I’m physically biting on the word...” he brings a hand to his throat, “It’s like I’m chewing on rubber, like I have something in my mouth that doesn’t belong there.”

Cirrus rubs his back, “I wish I could tell you it will get easier to ask for help, but every situation is different, and it might get easier to say you need a moment or that you can’t say what you need to say... and it may never feel right, I promise you though, it’s okay.”

Dew looks at the floor pointedly for a moment before looking at Cirrus directly, “Earlier... when I yelled at you and Swiss, I... Normally, I can deal with a bit of teasing, but it felt like... I felt like I was on the ‘outside’, I guess.”

“Outside?” Cirrus asks, “Like not included or...?”

He furrows his brow and then waves his hand in a vague motion, “Hmm... like I wasn’t in on the joke, that it didn’t FEEL like a joke, and... sort of... outside of the whole situation. Like, not disassociating, but... I felt like an outsider.”

“Oh. Oh, Dew, I didn’t realize-” Cirrus begins, but stops when Dew shakes his head.

“You didn’t realize, because you wouldn’t have known how I felt about that kind of thing.” his voice goes softer again, “I’ve only told one other person aside from Aeth and you just now... and that person isn’t around anymore so... I probably should talk about this stuff more often, but we did just talk about why that hasn’t happened yet.”

He laughs and gives a little puff of air out of his nose. Cirrus can’t help but feel a little saddened by how tired he sounds.

“Can we...” he closes his eyes, “Can we... stop talking about this? Not forever, but just... I don’t want to dwell on this tonight. I wanna... I wanna just sit here and try and get to a point where I can apologize properly for how I reacted before.”

Cirrus gives Dew’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, “Not forever.”

“Definitely not forever.” he hums wearily, “...and I am sorry. Really.”

“I know you are.” she says, “I don’t have to tell you to, but, just so its said out loud... you’ll apologize to Swiss, too, yeah?”

Dew snuggles up against Cirrus, “...I wanna say ‘No’, just as a joke, but we’re being all mushy right now so fine... I’ll apologize to Swiss later.”

“Good.” she smiles, “...Proud of you for opening up like this.”

Dew groans dramatically.

“...Thanks.”

[justmybookthots]

Hush, Hush

The reason I read this? Because a booktuber I was following shared an hour-long video of her reacting to the entire series and I was like: hey! I read part of the first book as a teen! And since I just recently reread City of Bones (see review), why not continue my streak of rereading trashy YA relics? It's the archaeologist in me speaking, I swear. And also the masochist!

Now, after finishing this book, I have come to announce in my review that I am really, really burnt-out. 😂 It's… a lot of teenage angst. I'm only done with the first book and this madwoman pushed herself and read ALL FOUR BOOKS:

The sheer IRONY of her video title given that I read it because I saw her video, LOL.

So I don't even know how to begin this review. First of all, I definitely found City of Bones more enjoyable than this. Does it mean City of Bones is a better book? Eh. I think CoB had more things in the plot to distract me (finding the Cup, lots of magical adventure) from the main leads, but this book circles a lot around Patch and Nora. 

And boy were both of them the weirdest people to exist. 

I want to say they're a product of their time, and in a way they are, but I've also seen other books in this time that aren't this bad. Regardless, you can really see how aged the book is from this interaction here:

All the mean-girl Marcie did call Nora was "geek" and "freak" but Nora? Not just did she slut-shame Marcie, she called her an anorexic pig. This is our heroine, guys. This is who we're supposed to root for. It's genuinely hilarious how the masses collectively ignored how problematic this was in 2009.

In any case: Nora spends most of her days swooning over Patch while simultaneously telling herself how dangerous he is. I get the "dangerous" part, but the swooning? What? HOW? Other than him looking (I guess?) physically attractive, there is NOTHING about him to swoon about. He is so creepy, I swear if he said half the things he did to me IRL, I'd call the cops and file a restraining order. LIKE, I'M NOT KIDDING. THIS MAN HAS ZERO GAME. ZERO. When asked by the biology teacher what he looks for in a mate (I know. The question was already, um, hella weird), Patch says things like: 

"Intelligent. Attractive. Vulnerable."

Vulnerable?? VULNERABLE. This is Creeper 101. Also during his first meeting with Nora, out of nowhere, he goes:

"Do you sleep naked?" he asked.

There's a thousand more examples of him saying the weirdest, creepiest shit, but it'd be tomorrow by the time I list them out. My point is: if this is him trying to flirt, it's giving police sirens. And Nora's reaction, instead of running from him, is to dwell on how conflicted she is about her attraction (??) and fear towards him. At some point, she's stalking his workplace to interview his coworkers if he's a felon or has a criminal record and I KID YOU NOT, her last question ending this is: Does he have a girlfriend?

And I don't even want to talk about her best "friend", Vee. I use quotation marks because this isn't really a friend but bless the author, she seems to believe Vee is remotely some kind of friend to Nora. When Elliot (some dude in the story) assaults Nora, this is what Vee says:

Guys, Elliot is going to feel so horrible tomorrow after assaulting Nora. 🙁 Vee is SO right, we need to worry about the pain he's in instead of taking the matter of assault seriously.  Because fuck your best "friend" since Elliot is more important, am I right?

To make matters worse, Elliot was assaulting Nora to try to coerce her to go on a camping trip with him and Vee. So get this: Vee, despite hearing about the assault, STILL tries to persuade Nora to go on the camping trip because it'd be fun! In the end, Vee going for the camping trip causes Nora to have to rescue her (since Elliot is obviously a deviant), and Nora practically endangers her life to save Vee's sorry ass. Me, I'm not so kind. I'd munch popcorn and sip wine and have a jolly good time picturing Vee getting murdered. Cheers!

Anyway. Negative points aside, I didn't see the Jules twist coming, and I kinda did like that. The downside, however, is that everyone is an idiot, especially Nora. For example, the new therapist Miss Greene was clearly shady from the start—she'd say the sketchiest nonsense, and Nora would just be vaguely suspicious before taking it all in stride. It's WILD. Her behaviour for 80% of this book makes zero fucking sense. The only thing I can commend her for is that she's proactively trying to solve an investigation for most of the book... even if she's going the worst possible way at it.

And also when Patch says at the end of the book that he's fallen for Nora and no longer plans to sacrifice her? I was like, WHEN? When did you fall for her? Most of your interactions were just you saying creepy stuff and her thinking about how hot and dangerous you were. When did the falling-in-love happen, exactly?

I AM SO CONFUSED.

I don't really have more to say about this book other than I am really, really hoping we (as readers or writers) have collectively moved on from this madness in 2023. In any case, will I continue this series? I don't know. I do like trashy reality TV, but too much of it and I might get a stroke. Reading City of Bones and then this almost back to back has taken me out. (And yet… there is a distant INANE part of me that's whispering: Time to go back and reread every trashy YA series circa 2010.)

- 16 Nov 2023

[elevenseggbros]

stranger things angst

Okay, so we know that the AV Club boys get bullied a lot by Troy and James. That’s pretty obvious. But, I feel like we don’t really talk about the long term emotional toll that it may take on them, especially considering the time that they live in and the trauma they’ve already been through (at least, I haven’t seen many posts about it)

(also, I wrote this with the idea that Eleven either doesn’t come back for a very long time or just doesn’t come back at all. adds to the angst of it all, ya feel?)

tw: racism, homophobia, death, bullying

Lucas, heavily bullied for the color of his skin. Troy using words like “midnight” to set him on edge, but soon moving on to harsher language when he learns it from his parents. Lucas being one of the only black kids in Hawkins, but to him it feels like he’s one of the only black kids in all of Indiana. And then, suddenly, the Cosby Show sweeps over the small town. Everyone is entranced by characters that look and act like him. And yet, the bullying becomes worse and worse. Troy despises the fact that non-white people are becoming popular in a culture that has always been white, and he despises that fact that people love it. So, when teachers and other students aren’t listening, he spits angry words in Lucas’s face. And Lucas, who sees a beloved family that looks just like this own - a happy, upper middle class, african american family - can’t understand what he is doing wrong. Sure, he wasn’t as athletic as Theo Huxtable, but not everyone could be a jock. What made him so broken?

Dustin, constantly remembering how Mike almost died just to save his teeth. Every day, he wonders what would have happened if Eleven hadn’t been there to save him. He would’ve lost his best friend and for what? Dustin knows he’d rather have no teeth at all than lose Mike. Sometimes, nightmares creep in, and the scene replays in a different way. The boys run over to the edge to see… nothing. Wait, is that… blood? The dream always ends with Dustin being filled with a rage he’s never experienced before. When he wakes up, he swears he can feel Troy’s shirt bunched in between his fingers, and can hear his screams before he’s thrown off the very same cliff Mike just willingly jumped off of. Dustin always wakes up before he can let go of Troy’s shirt. When he’s older, he figures that if his teeth had come in, Troy would’ve punched them out already. Eventually, Mike and Lucas become experts at shoving and running, but Dustin could never bring himself to fight back, even if it was just in defense. Maybe it’s because of the nightmares that never really went away, or maybe it’s because he knows what it’s like to be pushed around. After a while, Dustin stops smiling in pictures. What’s the point, anyway?

Mike, leaving his house in white suburbia to face Troy and James at school. After the incidents with Eleven, they left him alone for a time. But, when they realized she wasn’t coming back, the taunting was relentless. “Mike Wheeler with a girl, huh? I always thought he had the hots for Byers,” “Wow, Wheeler can’t even keep a girlfriend for a whole week? What happened to her, freak? Did she get too crazy for you, or did your ugly face scare her off?” The first time Mike threw a punch was in his sophomore year of high school. Troy said Eleven must’ve been “a freakish, psychotic accident created by the Russians”. He was suspended for a week and broke two of his knuckles. As this is happening, he has to watch as his friends get torn to shreds for things they can’t possibly change. He watches as Lucas’s obsession with the Cosby Show dramatically shifts to loathing. He watches as Dustin trains himself to stop smiling. He watches as Will is slowly chipped away into a shell of his old self. Mike can’t stop blaming himself for not only being unable to save El, but being unable to save his best friends, too.

Will, hearing about the AIDS epidemic on the news for the first time in 1981. He forgets about the disease until he hears his parents screaming about it. About him. The first time he heard the term queer wasn’t from schoolyard bullies, it was from his father. It wasn’t until 1983 when he finally learned what it “being gay” meant. He wasn’t disgusted, simply because Mike was the one to explain it to him. Instead, it just seemed like Mike had re-explained something he’d heard a long time ago. Boys kissing boys? That felt familiar. That felt right. When his father says the words “gay” and “AIDS” in the same breath, Will is filled with fear. When he goes to school, Troy tells him that being queer makes you sick. He tells him that being queer means you’re going to die alone. Will is suddenly very, very afraid that his friends are secretly disgusted by him. Every time Mike sits across from him instead of next to him during a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, he feels angry at himself. Every time Dustin says “no, thank you” when Will offers a sip of his drink or a bite of his sandwich, he despises living in his own skin. Every time Lucas wipes his hands on his pants after a spit swear, he begs his brain to stop being so filthy. Troy stops physically attacking him and claims he’s afraid of getting the “gay disease”. Will starts imagining himself dead at 25; a full casket at an empty funeral.

[robynlilyblack]

One Day at a Time

Chapter 2: November 4th 1981

Remus Lupin x fem! marauder! reader (eventually)

Summary: Baby steps are a good start, even the silly ones

Warnings: swearing, mentions of slight nudity, past relationships (sirius x reader, and slight wolfstar), scissors used to decapitate a lamp shade (no I will not elaborate...), feeling sick, food, and eating, canon character deaths, angst, slight trauma, grief, bittersweet fluff

A/n: 7k words, sorry for the day delay, had to prepare for a dig tomorrow and fix classes yesterday xx please enjoy!

Navigation | Remus Lupin Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

“What’ch ya doing”

Remus froze at the voice, cheeks burning as he turns so slowly around from the mirror he was posing in. There was no way he was talking his way out of this, was there? He was dress in his clothes, an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth as he pretended to be ‘cool’

“Y-you’re back early” he notes, removing the cigarette from and closing his eyes for a moment, anxious to avoid the amused look painted on his face

“That I am” the raven-haired boy chuckles, casually kicking the dorm room door closed before sauntering in “So…” he grins, eyes flicking up and down “Care to explain?” he raises an eyebrow

Remus sighs and moves to sit on the window still, bringing his knees up to his chest “I look silly don’t I?” he doesn’t answer the question, just goes straight to feeling stupid for ever thinking he could ever look or be normal

He watches the boy hop up, his look of amusement softening as he settles on the opposite side, one leg hanging off with the other slightly bent “You don’t look silly Moons” he taps his foot “Sure the jeans are a bit short at the ends, way too tight in some areas…” he laughs a little and Remus presses his legs together “…but you don’t look silly, the poses however, there were a little…” he trails off, bobbing his head 

Remus looks up at him in shock “Oh fuck” his face drops into his hands and practically hides behind his knees “How long were you standing there and please for the love of Godric lie to me” he pleads, wihsing for the world to swallow him whole, why did it have to be him that caught him?

“Well. I didn’t come in when you were doing an impression of me flirting with y/n last week…” Remus makes a whining sound “…and I certainly did not when you were talking to yourself about how many buttons you should undo” he tells him, clearly trying not to smile too much, nor enjoy himself

Groaning into his hands Remus leans back before looking down at his appearance. His eyes went to the jeans first, black, ripped and really were way too tight, he was a little taller then him, thighs a little bigger too, in fact it took longer than Remus would like to admit to get them up and over his arse.

Sighing he then looked to his chest, cursing his wolfy condition for the prominence of hair poking out above the open topped shirt. Like his scars weren’t ugly enough

“I’m not mad ya know” his head shoots back up “Or Judging you” he adds and Remus feels a little better, still beyond embarrassed yes, but a smidge better “The things we do alone are our own, and if you want me to give you some clothes I’m more than happy to. We can even charm them to fit better” he assures further and Remus’ heart warms, a small smile cracking across his face “You don’t have to tell me why if you don’t want to either”

Remus shuffles back a little, sitting up a little straighter as he leans forward to wrap his arms around his legs, chin resting on his knees “I wanted to feel…normal I guess” he shakes his head “I know normal isn’t the word for it but…I wanted to feel like you or Prongs…even Bugs…just…just…” he lets out a sorry breath, looking down

“Normal” he finishes with a shrug

“Yeah” Remus nods “I wish…I wonder sometimes what I’d be like if I hadn’t been bitten. What kind of person I would have become if I didn’t feel like I’m…constantly drowning” he confesses quietly

Remus looks back up at the boy before him, seeing a sad, downturned smile on his face

“You want an honest to merlin answer?” he asks and Remus nods slowly “You would be the same person you are now, maybe you wouldn’t feel held back by your condition but there would be somethin'. I’d still be hot-headed, reckless and make huge…huge mistakes…”

He closes his eyes for a minute and Remus feels a sudden and overwhelming stab to the heart...yet he can’t quite figure out why

“…even if my family weren’t arseholes" he continues "But no matter what our what if’s are we can’t change the reality. Everyone is drowning in their own way, me, you, Bugs…but the best thing we can do is try to keep the ones we love afloat and hope they do the same for us in return”

Remus nods, eyes growing glassy “When’d you get so wise?” he lets out a small chuckle

He laughs himself “It comes and goes. Don’t get used to it, by morning I’ll be making stupid decisions again” he throws him a wink

Blush threatens Remus’ cheeks but he supresses it “I’ll hold you to that” is all he says, fiddling with the roll up in his hand

“You know it just ticked over into mornin'” he nods to the window and Remus sees the sun beginning to rise slowly before he feels the cigarette leave his fingers “You wanna try?” he asks, cracking the window as he lights up

Remus eyes it then him “You live to corrupt me, don’t you?” he shakes his head

“Not just you, silly wolf” he hands it over

Remus rolls his eyes, taking the cigarette like it was second nature muttering “Arsehole” before placing the filter to his lips

“You love me really”

“I don’t” he quips taking a drag and they both chuckle for a moment before Remus’ eyes narrow as the light from the window grows brighter

“I need to go soon” 

Remus feels his heart drop, turning back as he feels warmth on his face, light brightening still

“I’m not ready”

“No one ever is” he shrugs with a sad smile “You’ll look after her for me, won't ya moony moony? She needs you”

“Always” is all he manages to whisper before it all goes white

Remus' eyes flutter open, waking to the sun beating through the window whose curtains he forgot to close. His body was flat against the couch, laying on his stomach with his face squished up against the soft pillow, leg and arm hanging off of the couch he was far too big for

He looked down to his bedroom, checking you were still there, that you were even real. Relief washing over him as he sees your leg kick out of the covers that engulfed you like a cozy cocoon. 

He closed his eyes again for a minute, processing his dream and hating himself for it.

For Remus there where two versions of him. One his friend, one who loved him, one who was good and crazy and wonderful, that made mistakes but always made up for them. And then there was the one he became, the murderer, the accuser, the traitor, the one who killed his best friends, utterly destroyed his own heart and obliterated yours

Yet much like yourself and despite it all, he still loved him, and those words echoed in his mind as his eyes opened again, staring at your figure

“I’ll look after her” he whispers for himself and for a past version of him that was now long dead

Remus lifted his head as high as he could to try and see the time without having to get up but still couldn’t quite see over the back of the couch. Huffing he moved his hand down to the floor to support him only to find in his post sleep state he completely misjudges the distance and ends up toppling off the couch completely

“Fuck!” he curses after hitting the floor, holding his elbow is it rings from the collision

stupid funny bone

He didn’t even bother to get up, just moved onto his back and groaned. The silence of which, out with his whines, lasted all of two seconds before he looks down between his feet to see you skidding out of his bedroom in slippers that were far too big for you

“Are you ok-oh-whoa” you start frantically to which he smiles at your level of concern before, much like him, your post-sleep state combined with those ridiculous slippers cause you to fall, landing on your knees with a thump

“Fuck!” you whine, collapsing down to your side before eventually just lying on the floor beside him, clutching your knees to your chest for a few moments before letting them slide back down to the floor

Remus tries not to laugh as he tilts his head to the side “You okay?” he asks, still holding his elbow and rubbing it gently with his thumb, trying to ignore the prolonged ache

You copy his movements, seeing the smile he tries to hide but does terribly at. After all these years you could read every emotion on his face, he was amused but also held some concern if you were alright…you could also see his own pain, how even a small impact on his arm could cause lasting effects  

“Nope” you laugh it off, scrunching your nose in almost a fake cry “Are you?” you check, eyes pointing to his elbow

“No” he does the same, huffing a laugh even if you can tell he’s lying just a tad “We’re complete…”

“Disasters” you finish nodding, giggling together as his hand falls back to his side you interlace them, your other hand coming around his elbow and rubbing it gently, to which he squeezes it before beginning to giggle again at how silly this all was

It was nice, for a moment neither of you felt sad or worried nor guilt for your lasting feelings. You and he were just best friends again, laughing at yourselves and enjoying the others company

Remus’ looks down at the slippers, laughing again that you must have taken the second to slip them on before running though “Are you wearing my slippers?” he asks to confirm, mostly because he enjoyed your slight eye widen and shy look away towards your own feet

“Little bit” you wiggle them, now pretty much hanging off and you giggle as the right one does just that “Didn’t want to come barefoot” you defend, wiggling the other one off before looking back at him

He just smiles “So in your attempt to save me you thought charging through lookin’ like a mini moony bugs hybrid was the answer?” he eyes the jumper, but mostly enjoys how the colour brought out that little bit of colour in your iris’

He missed those eyes of yours, they were the thing he remembered most about full moons back at Hogwarts, sure he could still picture all of his friends (and no longer friends) ones, but yours were the nicest, they always made moony feel calm

“Well…” you giggle, cheeks feeling hot “When you say it like that I do seem silly” you admit, shifting onto your side before shifting back “Nope that’s not as comfy” you shake your head, laughing

He laughs too “It’s fine. I think we’re about even when it comes to silliness…I mean I did fall off the couch”

“That’s what happened?” you look up about to laugh but then feel your heart sink at the singular pillow and no blanket “I’m so sorry Moony I stole your bed” you apologise

He shakes his head moving onto his side before shuffling back “Yes but…merlin you’re right...we should buy a carpet” he chuckles as do you just a little before he continues “The couchs a pull out, I was just too lazy to do it” he assures you “And if it makes you feel better I was awake when I fell off, was just too lazy to get up properly and hence suffered the consequences”

You smile at that

“Silly wolf” you tease

He scoffs “Just copying you silly bunny” he nudges his elbow into your side a little and earning the same in return

Your head turns back to the ceiling, as does Remus’, both smiling as you enjoy the peace, hands still interlinked while yours thumbs trace over the others knuckles

“You’re looking at the crack, aren’t you?” he asks after a minute, eyeing the rather big crevasse that honestly made the cottage look like it was going to fall down

“Hard not to” you turn to him briefly and cringe

“Been on the list to fix since I got here but with missions I was too busy, and when I wasn’t the moon would floor me…the feckin’ things just mocking me now I swear” he shakes his head at it

“Yeah…if you look closely the cracks spell fuck you moony!” you lift your hand and gloss across 

“It actually does!” he insists “Not just that but the whole house does right down to that hideous fecking lamp” he points your laced hand towards it

Your eyes drift to the quite rightly named lamp, it was an eyesore, clashed with the entire room. It was like someone hadn’t let go of a questionable style choice from the early 70s

“How long is the list?” you inquire, something in your stomach telling you it would help

“Merlin, I don’t know at this point it’s in the kitchen drawer” he lazily gestures in the direction before turning to you “I’d show you but that involves getting up” 

You both start giggling again “The floor is surprisingly comfortable” you nod, shoogling your arse a little 

“It really is, doing wonders for my back too” he does the same, turning to smile at you

You tap your head on his shoulder, about to say something when your stomach grumbles “I can’t even deny it can I?” you press your lips together

“Nope” he pops the ‘p’ “Although it would have been nice if you waited a few minutes. Was just getting…oi...comfy” he adds with a chuckle and earns a nudge to his side again as you both sit up

Remus lets go of your hand, standing up with a grumble and groan as if he’s an old man, chuckling when you do the same, the pair of you one ‘my back’ away from being so. He holds his hand out when you’re on your knees and helps you to your feet, before leading you over to the table

Taking a seat you watch Remus go to the fridge, pulling out some tupperware filled with pasta and you snigger 

“Pasta for breakfast?” you raise an eyebrow “More accurately cold pasta” you press your lips together, holding back the amusement

He chuckles, going into a drawer and pulling out two forks “Problem?” he asks, head tilted as he places a fork and tupperware in front of you

You smile at him, piercing a few bits of pasta and putting them in your mouth, face faltering as you try to figure out if you like it or not but ultimately smile one more

“None” you swallow, going back in for more

He takes a seat beside you, picking up some pasta and eating it, face going through the same emotions as you before he accepts it

“You know, if anything, this would be one of the more ordinary things we’ve done together” you note before shoving some more pasta in your mouth, stomach happy it was finally getting feed

Remus is happy too, so glad to see you eating and he supposes himself, because he knew without you he wouldn’t have been either

“True” he nods with a chuckle “You remember back in what? Second year. When we figured out the three eyed witch statue lead to Honeydukes and we got stuck in there overnight?”

“Oh my god yeah” your nose crunches up at the memory you had forgotten about until now, every detail coming back “Should have been the best day of our lives, all the goodies we could ever want, a childhood dream even, and what did we do?” you eye him

“Tip there tank of bat blood soup all over us…put me off for life” he shrugs his shoulders cringing

“It was your fault” you quip, eating some more

He swirls in his seat “My fault?” he scoffs “How was it my fault?” he points the fork at you playfully

“You were the one that wanted the good chocolate from the top shelf!”

“You wanted it too!” he defends with a laugh

“Not as much as you Mr chocoholic” you scrunch your nose and wiggle it at him, before poking his stomach lightly

“Says you little miss bunny” he swats your hand and pokes back making you squeal and giggle “Bet you won’t last one week here before your out in that garden nibbling on my cabbages…oh and don’t get me started on the carrots or the…” he starts to ramble but is soon cut off

“Cabbages!?” you look at him in sheer shock “Carrots!?”

His cheeks start to tint “Ugh…well…I…ugh” he stutters for an explanation before sighing “I garden…bugs?” he admits quietly, cheeks bright pink when he realises you’ve stood up and ran over to the kitchen window, half climbing on the counter 

Peering out you could see the small patch set aside for growing fruit and veg. You’d never admit it but you were actually quite interested in those carrots, as well as most things in that garden. Ever since you became an animagus you became obsessed with all thing’s veggie, adored wild flowers above all else, and even slept in a little ball like a bunny would

“Oh my god moony…” you turn back “…you’ve turned into a lil granny!” you exclaim in a fit of giggles before turning back and climbing fully up on the counter to get a better look

Meanwhile Remus poked his cheek with his tongue, accepting the justified teasing of a 21-year-old wizard par taking in gardening. The patch was originally his grandmothers, she used to grow things before she died and the patch was left to overgrow until he moved back and spend months fixing it. Yet. He didn’t know why he did. Gardening had never been on his hobby list but he found peace in it, a sense of control even that he had never been granted, though, on the other hand it was a killer on his already achy knees

Merlin maybe I am a granny

“Oh my god there’s labels and everything!” you gasp, bouncing up and down, enjoying this way too much

“Alright alright” he stands up, chair scraping a little but you’re too busy to care nor notice, getting closer you lean forward jumper riding upwards and he sees it “Bugs?” he asks with inflection

You sit back on your legs, turning a little to look down at him “Yeah?”

“Are you wearing my boxers too?” he comments, now he really was just amused

Your face is a picture, biting your lip as you swivel round and let your legs dangle over the counter, pulling the hem of the jumper down as you do

“Mad?” is all you say, asking but really you knew he wouldn’t be, in fact you’d never seen him really mad at you, only play mad or moon mad…and yes that’s exactly what you think it would be

“Never” he shakes his head, walking up to the counter, ready to ask why you felt the need to where his underwear and not your own, only to frown when his hands finding your knees “Cold?”

You shake your head “Don’t think I am…wait” you sit with it for a minute, suddenly aware of the goosebumps on your legs and how chilly they are compared to Remus’ hands that were practically hot water bottles “Can I borrow some trousers too?” you give him a cheesy grin

He had to admit to that tiny part of him that you did look sweet in his clothes and that he’d love you wearing them, and perhaps wore them nicer than he did…no, you were definitely did, perfect even, you certainly pulled off the old welsh granny aesthetic

He chuckles “Sure bugs” he nods “I know boxers are comfier, as is everything I own” he wiggles his eyebrows and you giggle whilst nodding in agreement “But what’s wrong with your clothes?” he wonders and has to ask

He didn’t mind what the answer was though. You had been stealing all of their clothes since first year, and on occasion them yours, so he only wondered if it was just a comfort thing for you in order to feel safe again, and if it was, he could already feel his heart swelling

“I forgot to pack any” you confess shyly

“Underwear? Or clothes in general?” he questions

“Underwear” you confirm

He looks a little surprised “You forgot?” he chuckles a little while his hands slip down, gently beginning to rub up and down, making sure you stay warm since he hadn’t lit the fireplace yet

“Yeah” you giggle with a cringe “I mean I was in a little bit of a rush to get away from…umm” you swallow hard

And just like that the mood shifted, a wave of grief washing though, sweeping the happiness away like it was never there and sending both of you tumbling back down

“Sorry” he whispers as if it was somehow his fault for asking, sounding like the wind just got knocked out of him, head hanging low as his thumbs rub circles into your calves in order to stay somewhat grounded

“It’s okay…not your fault” your voice is as low as his, so sad it breaks both of your hearts “I feel guilty now” you confess, tears forming in the corners of your eyes

His eyes meet yours, trying to hold his own and stay strong but eventually he lets them flow as you do.

It felt wrong to laugh, to smile, to joke around. Your best friends died less than a week ago, the love of your life being the one to doom them all. You shouldn’t be happy. You shouldn’t okay even for a second. 

The grief crushed your chest, but the guilt was the most suffocating

“Me too” Remus manages to get out, leaning forward to kiss your forehead, lingering there for a moment

Remus was used to guilt, but this was something else. Even worse was he knew Prongs would have wanted you both to laugh and heal, so would Lily and Peter, Marlene and Dorcas, Alice, Frank if they could understand, yet his entire being refused to listen. 

“Why did he do it?” you ask, though you aren’t really asking, more thinking out loud and all Remus can think to do is hug you, stepping between your legs and wrapping his arms around you tightly

“I really don’t know” he holds you as tight as he can without hurting while your arms remain loose, your whole body unable to move like you were paralysed “I really don’t know” he repeats a little quieter and for himself, pain shooting down his arms, as his hand cups the back of your head trying to soothe himself and you

You don’t move but he can feel the tears hitting his shoulders until eventually your arms clutch onto him, legs wrapping around his own like you're afraid he'll disappear

“I don’t know how I’m going to get through this moony” you say after a while, sniffling so much it runs down your lips

He pulls back, eyes shining with tears, redden cheeks glistening but he doesn’t wipe them, instead he takes the corner of his jumper in his thumb and wipes yours instead, along with the snot covering lips and nose softly 

“Me neither” he confesses as he finishes

Your nose wiggled a little after as you tried to stop the tears, an endearing trait though sad as your hands gently cup his face, thumbs gliding across his cheeks to wipe his own tears

“You won’t leave, right?” you ask, hands settling on the sides of his neck, expression near pleading

He stares at you for a second, baffled you even had to ask that, but then he realises why and it kills him all over again

“Never” he moves a little closer, hands cupping over yours “You’re stuck with me for the rest of your days now” he tries to smile at the end, jest and make you feel better, so relieved when it actually seems to help

“Until we really are old grannies?” you smile a little and he nods, giggling quietly but you cringe when some snot tumbles out again “I’m sorry” you apologise as he instinctively goes to wipe it again with his sleeve

“It’s just boogers” he tells you but then laughs “Saying booger sounds weird when you’re 21 doesn’t it”

“Since when did we care about weird?” you counter and he gives you a look that says ‘good point’

Remus removes himself from your grasp, heart aching at your little pout as he moves to fetch some kitchen roll, tearing off a couple of pieces, but it warms again when he returns and your legs wrap loosely around him once more 

He holds the paper up to your nose “Blow” he instructs

“I’m not a child” you mumble but do it none the less

He chuckles, folding up the snotty sheet before doing the same for himself with the spare “You aren’t a child” he blows his nose again before crunching both up and placing them beside the sink for now “You’re a bunny” he tells you

“Technically I’m a wild rabbit ya know…bunny was just because I was still growing” you remind him, rolling your eyes

“You’ll always be a bunny in my eyes bugs” he takes a moment to look at you, then back into the Livingroom before he removes himself once more and goes to another drawer

“What are you looking for?” you hop off the counter, wiping the rest of tears from your face with the back of your hand 

Remus rummages for a second, occasional ‘nopes’ and ‘not it’s’ leaving his lips before he pulls out a small folded bit of paper. Turning back to you as he unfolds it

“What is it?” you tilt your head but instead of answering he just hands it over

You scan it, realising this was the list he was talking about earlier and giggling at some of them 

“I have to love that you’ve checked off buy enough food to live as a hermit but not finishing the list itself” your eyes go back to him, seeing him scratch the back of his neck

“In my defence, you have to admit me having enough food in storage we would never have to leave for like a year was good foresight…” you find yourself nodding, it was indeed good foresight as you didn’t think either of you were ready for people or the outside world again, the train was bad enough “…and this cottage is also falling apart quicker than I can fix it” he admits a little sadly, it was clear he loved the house, yet with the war and his condition he just couldn’t keep up

“Some of these may take until we are grannies ya know”

“We can start small…work out way up” he notes with a shrug, looking away and out of the window towards the broken down and overgrown greenhouse while you look up at him quizzically 

You didn’t know why you were so surprised, your head was thinking the same thing yet you just had to ask “What?” 

He turns to see your eyebrows furrowed, and he was almost ready to backtrack and say sorry for just assuming you would help him but then he stops himself. He knows this will help you, and in turn him...and he's sure you know that too

“It’ll give us something to do, and distract us from…everything” he says instead, eyes flicking between yours, he doesn’t need to hear your reply because he knows you, he can read those eyes better than himself, so he’s thankful you agree 

“Keep our minds busy”

“Exactly” he nods

“Can I add something to the list?” you ask, not wanting to intrude, this was Remus’ home after all and you were merely a welcome squater

“Anything” he says right away, grabbing a pen from the sill open drawer beside him and handing it over

“Thanks moons” 

He just smiles back, watching as you place the parchment on the counter and start writing. He moves next to you, hand on your shoulder as he awaits on you finishing 

“Washing? I was expecting an extension or your own bedroom” he chuckles but they stop when he sees your unease “Bugs?” he cups your cheek as you look up

“My clothes still smell of him” the tears are back, not as bad as before yet somehow you looked more broken “I’m so pathetic” you look down

“Bugs” he tries to coax your face back up but you head only lowers

“No I am” you sink down to the floor and he follows suit, kneeling before you

“Bugs” he tries again

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me Moony, one minute I’m fine, the next I feel guilty, and sometimes I can’t feel anything, others everything” you suck a breath getting overwelmed, face crunching like you’re in pain and you are, head stinging at the pressure “My emotions are so over the place I feel like I’m losing it” you head drops into your hands and Remus intends to rub your back until your ready to talk again, however when your nails begin to dig into your skin he intervenes

You stare up at him after that, watching him grip your hands but he doesn’t scold you, merely rubs your fingers before saying

“Come with me”

“Where?” you inquire as he stands and pulls you up with him

“Just come” is all he says and you follow, one hand still in his while the other grabs the list

He leads you through the house and towards a door, opening it you see a study, or what used to be one. There were book and torn pages littering the floor and desk, torn up in what seems like a fit of rage. The phone was broken too, now hanging off of the receiver on the wall. Ink spilled and dried across wooden desk and floor, photos of who you can only assume are him smashed on the floor, along with a mug, once filled with coffee which was splattered across it all with droplets still clinging to the window

You realised this must have happened last night, when Mary called and he found out. You had a similar rage, but that was after the Mistry had been and gone and you made a point to break everything, leaving the flat in a complete disarray, shakily packing whilst trying not to cut your feet on the shatter glass of the many photos you once proudly displayed but where not ashamed of

“Oh moony” you coo, hugging into him, cheek pressed against the side of his chest

His arm comes around you “Do you think any less of me?” he asks, half in favour of the point he was trying to make and the other terrified you may really think so, it wasn’t a pretty sight, it was like he was barring his inner turmoil before you

“Nothing you do could ever” you say firmly

He turns suddenly at that, scaring you a little until his arms engulf you. A murmur of what you think is ‘I love you’ leaving his lips and so you murmur it back, earning a kiss to your temple

When he pulls away he steps further into the room, sock clad feet being sure to avoid the glass “This was my favourite room” he states, fingers glazing over the hardback of one of many torn books 

Your eyes follow his movements then return to his face, squatting down to pick up a pen and adding the study onto the list “We’ll make it new again…someday” you wish you could hug him again but your bare feet stop you from moving any closer

“Yeah” he nods, walking back towards you, taking your hand in his and remains silent for a little while “We should try to do at least one thing today”

“We could try…” you begin but he shakes his head

“I’m not ready yet” he gives you a sad smile “Don’t know when I will be” 

You nod, taking a couple steps back and gently pulling him with you “Let’s get out of here then” he follows suit and closes the door behind him, looking relieved as he does 

Your hand leaves his as you approach the living room, perching yourself on the end of the couch

Flicking open the list you hand it out towards Remus “You want to choose?” you offer when he grasps on to it

“Sure” he skims the list “One each?” he proposes

“Only fair” you smile and his lips quirk up too

“How about I wash your clothes and you change the shade of that horrid lamp” he nods to it

Your heart warms “Sounds like a good plan” 

Before starting your tasks, Remus makes you finish breakfast as well as ensures the two of you drink something and stay hydrated. Nothing much is spoken, but it’s a comfortable silence, made up of the two of your forks piecing food while your free hands held the each others.

After eating and cleaning up you follow him into the bedroom to get yourself some bottoms, sitting on the bed whilst Remus looks for some.

He takes out a couple looking at them then you before finally choosing one, closing the drawer and handing it to you “These should fit, there one of the elastic ones I never really wear cause they rub against new scars” he tells you and you nod “Which drawers did you put your stuff in?” he wonders, walking back over while you stand up

“The second I think, and some in the bottom” you reply before shimming into the checked pyjama bottoms

He opens the drawers, smiling as he sees the clothes before picking them up and placing them in a nearby basket “Your shit at folding” he teases going back in for more

“Fuck off I was tired” you try to walk over but slip a little on the ends of his trousers “Okay these may be a little long...”

“Think you’re just short” he quips, continuing to place the clothes but does stop briefly to chuckle at your cute yet mad pout

“If I could get to you without falling you’d be so dead right now” you warn and he laughs more, continuing his work while you begin folding the ends upwards, having to do it a few times until they reach your ankles

“I know I would, I haven’t forgotten the black lake incident of 73” he chuckles, breathing in through his teeth as he remembers how you kicked the asses of boys twice your size alongside James

“Damn right I’m a badass...even without magic” your hands find your hips, looking rather proud of yourself

He turns to you, chuckling at the turned-up ends and your look of pride “Well miss badass bunny let’s see if you can change the shade for us” 

You scrunch your nose at him “You always have to get the bunny thing in there don’t ya” you cross your arms

“Well it is a defining character trait” he picks up the basket, laughing at your face and staring at you intently before you crack under it and being giggling as well

Remus walks out of the bedroom “Where’s the spare shade?” you wonder, following along behind him

“Closet beside the front door” he says, heading over and into the kitchen but he stops just before he’s out of view, watching you walk over to the door “Other one” he calls and you do a 180 yelling back ‘I knew that’

An hour or so had, most of the clothes now out on the line to dry while Remus hand washed some of your more delicate shirts as well as the two jumpers to prevent them getting itchy. 

He scrubs the material gently, sitting at the backdoor, a pillow beneath his arse while his legs almost wrap around the large basin. He stops after a minute though, realising you’ve been awfully quiet and the panic sets in, stomach turning. 

He wrings out the shirt, placing it down slowly before standing up and walking around to check on you. Merlin was he glad he did, the sickness fading into amusement as he finds you sitting on the floor yourself, staring at the lamp like it’s your greatest enemy

“This may hurt” you hold up some scissors, warning the inanimate object before you grab it by the neck and begin trying to cut the metal rod of the shade off

“Oh my god it’s working!”

You smile at the progress, in all honestly you thought you were going to fail after hours minutes of trying to twist and pull the thing off, only thing you had succeeded at was taking the bulb out and not dropping it…though there was probably still time

“Shit” you huff realising that it was not in fact working and you had only cut through the layer of paint

Placing the scissors on the coffee table you pout at the lamp once more, going back in once more in case a miracle had occurred. After a few minutes you suddenly decide to turn the thing that holds the bulb, mouth agape when actually it come off

“You’re shitting me…you clever little fucker”

You place the cylindrical holder to the side, face growing excited as the shade finally comes off

You hadn’t noticed Remus, if you did you would have seen him, lips pushed together and tears almost pricking his eyes with how hard he was holding in his laughter, fully entertained by the situation 

The next part was easy, slipping on the much nicer ripped cream shade and placing the holder back in to secure it all. After giving it a good shake to check it wasn’t going to fall or come off off you stand and place it back in its original position. Bending down, plugging it in and flicking on the main switch beside it, before going to do the same on the lamp itself...

But it doesn’t work

“Huh?” your fingers push the little button back and forth “What…” you step back to check the plug is indeed on at the outlet before fiddling again “Oh god I’ve broken it…how the hell have I done that?” you look at the thing baffled, lifting it up to check inside but nothing works, even taking it apart and putting back together did nothing, staring at it for a good few minutes before realising…

You never put the blub back in

“Oh my god!” 

You press your hands into your face, cheeks heating as laughter engulfs you, throwing your head back and that’s when you spot Remus holding his own in before he just starts sniggering

“How long?”

“Since you tried to decapitate it” he chuckles through the words “You’re special you know that right?”

“I’m starting to realise that, yes” you have to agree, walking back over to the coffee table “I looked inside it and everything moony” you don’t know whether to laugh or cry as you pick up the thing that was wrong 

“I have to admit that’s the best thing I’ve ever witnessed…you’re face when you realised will be something I remember forever” he shakes his head, moving over to flick off the power at the socket while you put back in the bulb

“I’m glad my pain amuses you” you say a little strained as you pop it back in “You’re never going to let me forget that are you?”

“Never. I only wish I had a camera so I could show our non-existent children” he jokes and you start giggling “Ready?” he looks at you and when you nod he flicks back on the power, and sure as shit it lights up

“I did it” you say after the laughter dies down and your eyes water “Merlin I feel so silly” 

“I mean it did take you over 10 minutes to realise you forgot” he taps his shoulder with yours 

You turn up to him “Not that” you say and his face softens “I know that was silly. I mean...I feel silly that I may cry that I actually did something...productive...good” you admit, feeling a little in limbo as you float between staying grounded and sinking to the floor in tears

“You aren’t silly for that bugs” he shakes his head “Something as small as that is good for us …just like me washing is one too. Come here” he hithers and you fall into his chest, arms slithers around his torso

“Thank you for letting me stay, I have no idea where I would have been if you hadn’t been here”

“Of course” he kisses your forehead before his hand tilts your head up to look at him “Mary didn’t tell you I was here, I'm sure she said she was going to phone you?” he looks a little confused "Though I didn't really hear much after...you know"

“I must have missed it, I left really early, so early I was at the station for like 3 hours and fell asleep briefly before the train” you shrug, looking down a moment “I was having a breakdown that night...for the merlin knows what-th time. Eventually, I slumped down to the floor and eyes landed upon an envelope from a letter you sent me in like first or second year before your parents moved”

“You travelled all this way on that?” he couldn’t believe it, nor could he believe how much faith you still had after all this time, you really were the strongest of them all  

You nod “Crazy isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but we built our reputations on it” his lips form a downturned smile

Yours does the same before resting your head on his chest, while his chin does the same on your head

“That we did” you nod into him “It’s going to get worse again isn’t it?”

“Much worse” he answers honestly and your grips grow tighter “Least we aren’t alone”

“Misery enjoys company” you let out an empty laugh, as does he

“That she does”  

Thank you for reading and let me know if you want tagged in the series ♡

@mrsgweasley @zmxchs @moony1-960 @violetsandroses8 @pega7sus @pussy-drunk @thecraziestcrayon @milivanili99 @katlovesall @burntoutbi @summer-noir

[saeyoungchoismaid]

The brothers’ reaction to MC wearing an occult symbol

Genre: angst?, fluff Warnings: Belphie’s has earlier lesson spoilers. Y’all know the one  A/N: Writing Satan’s reminds me that I want to write hcs or fics where the whole demon thing is more realistic. Ya know like they kill people and that sort of thing but n e ways-

Lucifer:

it only took him a second to get a weird vibe from you 

well, not actually you but an energy coming from you 

once he gets close enough to you, he starts to feel his skin crawl

he looks over your being before spotting a hidden chain disappearing into your shirt

“May I?” he asks, bringing his hand close to your neck and pointing at your hidden necklace

you look down in confusion before realizing what he’s referring to 

“Oh. Uh, yeah, sure,” you reply confusedly but agree nonetheless 

he hesitates for only a second before grasping the necklace and pulling it up

he clenches his jaw when the chain starts to burn him, his fingers quickly releasing it once the hidden pendant is on the outside of your shirt

your eyes widen in shock when you see his red fingers pull away from your neck, a frown coming to your face 

“Ah, just as I thought,” he says softly, staring down at your chest

you flush and look down, spotting your necklace for everyone to see 

“I’m not sure if you know this or not but that pendant is actually an occult symbol. It wards off demons and burns them when they touch it. It’s honestly probably a good idea to wear it until everyone gets used to your presence,” he informs before taking a step away from you 

you gently pick it up between your fingers, staring down at it with a frown

“Oh, okay,” you say softly

you didn’t like the thought of hurting anyone but he has a point. They’ve already explained to you that not all demons are friendly with humans, so some might try to attack you 

guess this pendant will be useful during your stay 

(don’t worry. You eventually take it off for Mr. Grumpy Pants)

Mammon:

he always gets uncomfortable being too close to you but not for the reasons you think 

this man is a SIMP, okay?

he wants to be near you 24/7 but physically finds it hard to do so 

it takes him a while to figure out why though 

one day, you wear a low-cut shirt and there lays a necklace around your neck 

of course, this man looks STRAIGHT at your chest because woughnwgwg exposed skin 

but then he notices the necklace 

do you always wear that?

“Heya, (Y/n). Do ya, uh, always wear that necklace?” he asks you after pondering on it for a while 

it would make sense as to why his skin always crawls and why he feels like he always has an itch he just can’t scratch 

you look down at the necklace and smile, picking it up between your delicate fingers

“Huh? Oh, yeah. It came with a Halloween costume I wore last year and I guess I liked it enough to always wear it,” you reply as you look down at it before letting it go 

he grunts and stares at it, trying to make it combust with his eyes alone 

“Do you think you could stop wearing it?” he asks softly

this makes your eyes widen, a small pout gracing your smooth lips 

“What? Why? Do you not like it?” you ask quietly, disappointment filling your tone 

and, of course, Mammon panics 

“What? No! Well, kinda. Not for the reason ya think though! It’s jus that it’s an occult symbol, meaning it’s used to keep demons away,” he sputters out before eventually getting to his point 

at this, your face becomes crestfallen 

“Oh. That’s why you guys always seem so nervous and uncomfortable around me...” you mumble

before he can comfort you, you take it off and move to throw it away 

“I won’t ever wear it again then,” you promise with a warm smile 

Levi: 

he knew something was off about you but he wasn’t sure what it was until the TSL competition 

just like the others, he felt itchy and maybe even a little sick when he got too close to you 

but you were so nice! and pretty! and smart! 

he couldn’t help wanting to get to know you better

when the TSL competition happened though, he ended up being blinded by jealousy and attacked you 

he got close enough to grab you by your shirt 

the thing is, your necklace flew out of your shirt when he tugged you forward and it fell across his hand

he hisses and pulls away from you, looking down at the red lines now adorning his skin 

this calms him down a bit surprisingly

you, on the other hand, were still freaking out 

“I’m sorry! What just happened? Are you okay?” you ask as you gently cradle his injured hand 

he stares at you in confusion before it converts to awe 

he just attacked you and you’re still worried about him 

yeah, he’s in love 

when he doesn’t reply, Lucifer steps in 

“Your necklace caused the burn. It’s an occult symbol, meaning it wards demons away. Guess it worked in your favor just now.”

“I’m sorry,” Levi says quickly after Lucifer is done talking 

he then swears that you won’t need to wear it around him anymore, feeling guilty for attacking you 

Satan:

this smart demon knew what he was feeling right away 

he’s read enough books to know that you probably have some sort of occult symbol on you somewhere 

he doesn’t bring it up though 

he’d rather hangout around you and feel his skin crawl and for his skin to go ice cold than to have you take it off and risk you getting in danger with other demons 

not that he’d let that happen. He’d skin someone alive before letting them close enough to hurt you 

once you two start getting closer though, you notice that if you try to hold his hand or to cuddle into him on the couch while watching a movie, he flinches away from you 

it breaks your heart, really 

which he instantly notices and realizes he has to talk to you about before he loses you 

“Darling, can I see you in my room for a moment?” Satan calls to you as you walk past his room, your heart skipping a beat as the pet name rolls off his tongue with ease

once you enter, he asks that you close his door, which causes you to grow nervous and excited at the same time 

once the door is closed, he starts to explain the whole situation to you 

he can’t even finish his explanation before you’re ripping it off your neck and throwing it away into his trash bin

he chuckles as he stands, meeting you by his desk where you threw the necklace away 

he bends over to take it out of the trash, grunting when the necklace burns him 

before he can hand it back to you, you snatch it out of his hand

“Why would you do that?” you cry in despair, your free hand cradling his injured one 

he smiles at you and squeezes your hand while his free hand comes up to bring your head up 

“Because I still want you to wear it when you go out. It would just be nice to be closer to you without it, my love,” he coos, making you gulp at how close he is to you 

you nod your head though and place it in your pocket, noticing the goosebumps covering his arms 

“I’ll go put it away in my room and then we can cuddle,” you declare

Asmo:

bruh 

he notices it right away because of course he tries getting close to you right away 

he gets a foot away from you and that’s when he feels it 

he pouts as he stops his prowl towards you, trying to shake off the feeling of unease and nervousness

which is definitely a new feeling for him 

he backs away from you and finds that those odd feelings are slowly fading away from his body 

weird 

he doesn’t really understand what it is until much later

he kept his distance but still flirted like a madman

which apparently worked since you liked him 

so, when he decides to ignore the weird feeling and goes to kiss you one day, his hands gently rest on the side of your neck as he kisses you 

well, he didn’t actually get to kiss you seeing as the chain burns his hands and he pulls away with a sharp gasp 

you both stare down at his red hands in silence, trying to process what just happened 

before you can even react, one of his hands come back to your neck and snaps your necklace off of you 

“Asmo!” you screech, going to pull it out of his grip when he throws it across the room

as soon as it’s out of his hand, his hands gently clasp your cheeks before smashing his lips to yours 

after a spicy makeout session, he briefly explains what your necklace was before going back to kissing you 

Beel: 

my poor baby didn’t understand what was going on 🥺

he’d go to give you a hug or offer you some food and found it impossible to be close to you 

it upset him immensely 

my mans likes to show his affection physically AND verbally like a legend 

but he can’t get closer than a foot to you before he starts to feel a different kind of pit in his stomach 

it wasn’t until you came to one of his games that it all became clear what was going on 

he made the final point needed to win the game, all of his teammates knocking against his helmet and lightly shoving him 

when you came over though, they parted like the red sea for you 

you squeezed Beel into a hug and it felt perfect other than the weird feeling that comes over him 

he moves to wrap his arms around your shoulders, his body suddenly jolting away from yours

your eyes widen at him, your heart lurching up in your throat 

did you make him uncomfortable? But it seemed like he was going to hug you back? 

he grabs your hand and starts to drag you off the field and away from prying eyes  

you try to ignore the butterflies in your tummy from his hand holding yours 

once you two are alone, he lets you go, which causes the butterflies to instantly die

“(Y/n), do you think you could get rid of your necklace?” he asks nervously 

he’s afraid that he’s being too selfish by asking this of you 

your brows knit together in confusion, looking down at your necklace that you’ve been wearing for a couple of months now 

“What? Why? Do you not like it?” you ask worriedly, bringing your hands up to touch it 

he explains what happens to him when he gets near it, his eyes shining with sadness 

“Oh, why didn’t you just say so? Of course I can take it off,” you say as you go ahead and slip it off and place it in your pocket 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he reassures 

“I want to,” you reassure right back

Belphie:

so yeah, your necklace ended up saving your life 

when Belphie was released and turned out to be deceiving you this whole time, things went downwards really quickly 

when he moved to choke you, your necklace burned his hands

he pulled away in shock, giving his brothers time to jump in and save the day 

once everything was sorted out and he apologized, you two slowly became friends

he resented what he did and that necklace of yours

he’s sure that after what he did, you wouldn’t trust him enough to take off your necklace 

and for a while, it was true 

you would tense up around him, make excuses to leave, etc.

once you two got past that “hey, sorry I tried to kill you” stage though, things started smoothing out

when you two started to like each other though, he hated that necklace even more 

it got to a point where he wanted to cuddle and kiss you so bad but he didn’t have the confidence to ask you to take off the pendant 

luckily for him though, you took it off yourself 

“Where’s your necklace?” he asks curiously when you come up to hug him, his body instantly sensing the difference 

“I wanted to be able to hold you like this without you looking like you wanted to die,” you tease half playfully 

he blushes as he wraps his arms around you 

he never realized how transparent he was until now 

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[bonvoyagenoona]

Kittenfishing | KTH | 05: Clawsome

Pairings: Taehyung x Reader

Rating: 18+ / Mature / Explicit

Synopsis: You’ve kept detailed notes. Kim Taehyung moved next door about six months ago. He picks up the mail at night. He likely works in the north part of town because he walks to the blue line station in the morning. He takes his trash out on Mondays and Thursdays. His receipts show that he’s stopped buying bananas from the nearest grocery store because the ones a block farther up the street are 40 cents cheaper. And because he’s just popped up on your dating app, you’ve also learned that he’s a Capricorn, has a pet dog named Tannie, and he loves visiting his family’s farm. Also, he is very hot, and very single, though you knew that first part already just by bumping into him in the hall. You are not regimented about your schedule, or mindful about money, or into families, or hot. But you’re smart. And, like you’ve said, you’ve kept detailed notes. With some luck, and your best friend and tech extraordinaire Yoongi’s help, you will become Kim Taehyung’s perfect girl. And you will catch him.

Genres, Content Warnings, & Themes: Strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, smut (unprotected sex, penetrative sex, oral sex, casual sex, public sex), lying, deception, obsession, oh the ethical dilemmas present in online dating today

Author’s Note: Thanks so much for reading with me. This story ended up being surprisingly meaningful, and I’ve loved all the discussions about Kitt. Who she is. What she means. Just feeling very grateful. Really hope you enjoy how this ends up! 💜

Kittenfishing Masterpost

The copier’s light flashes across your eyes. 

Yoongi blinks and looks away. “Couldn’t you have done this at work?” he complains.

But your pupils have deadened at the stings. A small price to pay to make sure that everything goes according to plan.

“The copier and printer there aren’t big enough for the job,” you say decidedly, leaning over your work and making sure that every angle is right.

“Couldn’t you have at least done this during normal business hours, then?” Yoongi whines on, barely able to hold up his body, leaning lazily on the out-of-order copier next to your workstation.

The 24-hour business center two blocks over isn’t exactly your usual hangout, but you smirk over at Yoongi and remark, “As if you weren’t awake doing whatever the hell it is you do at this hour.”

Yoongi can’t fight you on that. Night owls just understand each other, you say. And even though owls usually roost alone, you’re thankful that Yoongi met you at this branch.

“A parliament,” Yoongi mumbles.

“Hmm?”

“That’s what a group of owls are. A parliament.” He shakes his head, disgusted. “Such an establishmentarianism term for such a singular creature.” 

“Is that what I tore you away from tonight? Owl trivia?” you ask. When Yoongi scoffs, you continue with, “Then were you working on more demos? Gaming? A movie?” You knowingly wiggle your eyebrows. “Or were you working on more tweaks to your Matchmaker profile?”

Yoongi blushes and mumbles the first half of a sentence before finishing strong with “rethinking question 23.” Then he surrenders a smile back at you. He trades off his iced coffee from one hand to the other, wiping the condensation of his newly-free hand on the back pocket of his jeans. “So, in a way,” he replies, “I guess we were kind of doing the same thing.”

Chuckling, you take the next swath of paper that the copier has spit out at you and set it on top of the others.

You look at the thin sheets stacked on top of one another. Like layers of your skin.

Your lip gets bitten for the twelfth time in the past half hour.

“‘Ya doin’ OK there?” Yoongi asks, bending down to get a better look at your hesitant eyes.

Nodding, you almost convince yourself that you’re fully sold on the idea. But Yoongi knows that your nod is just a tenth of a second slower than usual. He shifts his weight and sets his coffee down on the defunct copier, wiping his other hand on his jeans and turning so that he can face you while leaning back. He folds his arms to keep himself upright. A chronic sloucher, it’d be difficult for him to stay upright even if the two of you weren’t in the middle of a nice, chill high. If you were at home, you know you’d both be lying on the floor, just letting your thoughts blow around like little dust bunnies. Formulating them like this, getting them down on paper. It’s like setting so much of you in concrete. Reading through everything, thinking through everything. It’s been like clawing through each layer of skin.

“Having second thoughts?” Yoongi asks.

You look back to the store clerk, who’s basically asleep in her chair at the front desk. The deep breath that you take also helps calm you down. Another practice round with Yoongi. One that’s maybe a little more suitable for a healthy friendship.

“I’m scared,” you admit. “I don’t know if this is going to work.”

Yoongi knows you mean more than just your last adjustments to the not-murder wall.

Silence settles over you, the whirring of the copier doing its share of the job as you take a moment to rest. When not at work, you’ve been locked in your apartment, trying to think of every piece of information that would help this little project that you dreamed up. And every time you felt like you were on a roll, you thought you heard a click in the keyhole next door, or the scurrying of little Tannie-sized paws in the hallway. Each time, they’ve turned out to be figments of your imagination. You know because, instead of just peering at the gap above your floor, you actually opened your door to check.

“Isn’t that part of it, though?” Yoongi asks. “We never know if things are going to work.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you dismiss, taking the next sheet of your skin and laying it to the side before arranging the next setup on the copier glass.

“You can’t ‘yeah, yeah’ that!” Yoongi stresses. “That’s a big thing to grapple with.”

You let his words echo along with the creaking of the copier lid as you start to make your next print.

“Every time I take the next step in this project,” you say, biting your lip again, “I have a moment where I think, well, if this isn’t going to work, then what’s the point in putting in the effort?”

Yoongi nods slowly. And then he asks, “Isn’t the point to find out whether or not it will work?”

“Is it?”

He blinks. “Is it?”

You sigh, fingers starting to scramble too fast for the next completed sheet in the output tray, your hangnails threatening to tear through the paper. “Fuck, forget it, I don’t even know why  asked you to---”

Yoongi reaches out and grabs your wrists just in time. He smiles and sets them gently down on the closed copier lid. He pats them, and then he circles you so that he’s closest to the output tray. He wipes both of his hands on his jeans again to make sure they’re dry, and then he carefully lifts the sheet and sets it on top of the others, humming at the print that you’ve just created. He looks back at you, and just as your face is deciding whether or not to burst into tears, Yoongi tips the scales by saying, “You asked me here because we’re still softening your edges. Not for his or anyone else’s sake. But for yours.”

Sniffling, you pout and fold your arms, watching as Yoongi confers with the small map you’ve made and following the steps to create the next frame. His cool voice, made even cooler by the iced coffee on his breath, helps your cooler head prevail over your raging, passionate heart.

“Whether or not things work out,” he says, “I just wanna say that this is extremely brave of you, and I’m extremely proud of your work.” He presses the COPY button with such ease, as if it’s not a problem to have more of you in the world. “So be kinder to yourself. Celebrate yourself, Kitt. I know I do.”

He holds his arms out for a hug, a trademark Yoongi hug, one that would be easy to fall into, and get lost in, and find respite inside of, and never want to leave.

But you stomp your foot, rousing the store clerk for just a moment.

“Goddammit, Yoongi!” you exclaim, wiping tear tracks from your cheeks.

Yoongi frowns, letting his arms fall to his sides. “What the fuck? I thought that was pretty good!”

“It was!” you whine, your breath shuddering. “It was the perfect thing to say! But it’s like… I… I-I don’t know what to do with that!”

You back away from the copier a little, your hip bumping into the defunct one next to you, and rocking Yoongi’s half-empty cup.

At the risk of seeming even more insane than you probably already are, you ask, “You ever feel like being nice to yourself hurts?” 

Yoongi thinks for a moment. You almost hear your words pass through the tape in his brain, going through different variations to make sure he’s not missing the most important interpretation. YOU ever feel like being nice to yourself hurts? You ever feel like being NICE to yourself hurts? You ever feel like being nice to YOURSELF hurts?

He decides that it’s the last version that he wants to replay. “No. You should always be nice to yourself,” he replies. “That’s where you should start.”

“Not when you’ve fucked up,” you mutter, eyeing the map that you’d created. You get the impulse to crumple it up and throw it away. It shouldn’t even be put in the recycling bin. It doesn’t deserve a fresh start. “Not when you’ve made as big of a mistake as I have.”

Yoongi asks, “And what mistake was that?” 

“Uh, I dunno, invading a grown man’s privacy?” you point out. “Infringing on his rights? Y’know, breaking the law?”

“OK, sure, you had some missteps.”

His friendship truly knows no bounds. “Yoongi. C’mon.”

“But what was the intent behind most of those missteps?” Yoongi asks. “You didn’t mean to harm anyone.” 

And then it dawns on him. Knowing a bit more about you. Even having learned more about you through this new project of yours. He sees the gaps. The parts that you still don’t understand.

“Look, Kitt… sometimes, you’re going to hurt people. It’s unavoidable.”

You think of what Si-hyuk said at the end-of-quarter party. 

And your eyes meet Yoongi’s as you sheepishly scratch at your arm.

“Sometimes, you’re going to hurt people when you don’t mean to. And sometimes, you might actually mean to hurt people. You’re not perfect. None of us are. So you certainly don’t need to hurt yourself, too,” Yoongi says gently, reaching for the crook of your elbow.

He positions you back by the working copier.

“Keep going,” he tells you. “What you’re doing here? It’s good.” Yoongi smiles, patting you on the shoulder. “And if he’s open to it, then look forward to the steps -- and missteps -- you’ll get to experience next?”

Instead of getting to build things as you go, this time, you have to be militaristically diligent about organization.

Getting the sheets printed was just the first step. Now, you have to cut them down to size. Evenings and weekends are spent crouched on the floor, with everything laid out in order, your shiny scissors carefully cutting along the lines designated by your map. You leave scraps and botched sheets along your trail, and reminding yourself that this is why you made several copies of each frame as you stare up at the now empty non-murder wall when your fingers, arms, and eyes get tired.

That wall.

You actually really miss it. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that you were mournful while throwing everything into trash bags, a total of four, and lugging them down to the trash room. You almost cried as you sent each one down the chute.

But you also know that it’s not really the wall that you miss. 

Everything feels so empty. You hadn’t realized that your apartment felt this empty with nothing in it. But you wouldn’t know if you didn’t have something to compare it to, and the fullness that the wall brought echoed the fullness that you felt in your body. Your heart. Your limbs.

Limbs.

Sometimes, you get glimmers.

Yoongi will call you over, or ask you to meet up, for double dates. You’ll sit on his bathroom counter, right up against the mirror, him fixing your makeup and you adjusting his clothes and hair.

“Help me suss out whether this girl is cute enough to bear her preference for---” Yoongi grimaces. “Cheeseless pizza.” 

You laugh and help Yoongi fold his sleeves up to his elbow, the cuffs always equal widths when you do it.

“Some people can’t eat cheese,” you point out. “Some people don’t like cheese. Is that really a dealbreaker?”

“Given that I’m talking to someone who will literally say and do anything to get a date---” Yoongi begins, prompting you to give him a hard slap on the upper arm, “---ow!” He wings his elbow, and you both laugh and start again on his left sleeve cuff. “I was going to say,” Yoongi continues, “that I need your help finding the balance between running away according to petty dealbreakers and completely transforming yourself because of a cute smile.”

“I don’t know how useful I’ll be. I still need help on that end of the spectrum,” you point out, pouting a little.

The right corner of Yoongi’s lips turns up. “I think you were getting closer to the balance as you went on,” he says. Then he sighs. “Of course, all this posturing isn’t really taking into account how the other person feels.”

“True. And we both need help there.”

“Agreed.”

You run your hand up Yoongi’s bicep to smooth the fabric out.

“So… if my thing was the willingness to bend over backwards to the point of losing myself… then… is the dealbreaker thing… your end of the trash spectrum?”

Yoongi watches your fingers glide up his arm. He squirms a little. Yoongi, your once-trash roommate, both of you starting to get clean with your bare feet in the sink.

“I think so,” he admits. 

He doesn’t know that his toes are wiggling anxiously against yours, so he scoffs when you giggle and place the balls of our feet on top of his to help him relax. He notices his toes are all bent and gnarled. And slowly, he allows them to straighten out.

“It feels like you’re getting ready to run,” you observe. 

Yoongi nods. “Yes. That’s helpful. Give me more of these notes.”

He’d apologized for taking you down this road, but how could he have known where it would lead when he was also still learning the way?

“Not a note,” you say, your voice humbled but still strong, heart wizened but still beating. “Not saying you need to do anything differently.” You look at him meaningfully. “Not a note. Just… noticed.”

The breath that flows out of Yoongi’s expanded lungs smells faintly of Wild Cherry Slurpee. It’s a miracle that he didn’t get any on this white shirt. You brought three extra outfits knowing you’d be doing a pre-game, green, snackfest to warm up for this date, and you’re already on your second change.

“You know me,” Yoongi says. “Three dates is… a lot.”

The realization hadn’t dawned on you until you started seeing Yoongi stick to dating long enough to see a pattern. Cool Girl from the Bar a few months ago didn’t slip away. Yoongi gave her the slip. Sad Cafe Girl from Downstairs had a crush. Yoongi crushed it. 

“A lot?” you parrot. 

Yoongi reaches back, scratching the nape of his neck. “Yeah, I just…” His ankles start twitching. His knee starts bouncing. He mumbles again. Something something “feelings”. Something “expectations” something something “live up to”. “Bored”, then something, something “freedom”, and something “fickle”.

“It’s not like you have to know what you want up front,” you say. 

“Feels weird.” Yoongi scrunches up his face. “I always know what I want.”

“And exactly how you want it.”

“And when, and why…” Yoongi scratches at his neck again. “But there are just so many people. With all their little quirks. I fall in love with someone on the way to work on Monday morning, and then I’m imagining marrying someone completely opposite to them when I’m in line getting lunch on Monday afternoon.” He’s really digging into his skin, the way it feels when you cut into the next sheet of your project. “It’s so overwhelming. I’d rather just avoid it altogether.” He raises his eyebrows. “And I’m good for the most part when I’m avoiding it. It’s just… the nights when I do want it…” 

“You want it,” you finish. You know, because even though you’re saying the same words, you’re not simply parroting this time. 

Yoongi nods, and you understand completely. Night owls flying in parallel. All your plans and schemes, looking so similar to the agendas and summaries that you create for Si-hyuk. Yoongi’s view, completely lost when he doesn’t have schematics or requirements documentation to get the system up and running. What happens in those situations for Yoongi, when he’s got some kind of problem to solve? He stress-tests the system. And by dating, trying all of these people on to see if they’re the answer, he’s definitely getting stressed.

“Just feeling unsure.”

You smirk. “I’d argue that when it comes to this, knowing exactly what you want can also set you up for failure in many respects.” You gesture to your uneven, grown-out lob. 

Finally, Yoongi laughs. “It really is an awful style on you. You look like a blob underneath it.”

The amorphousness of the blob metaphor isn’t lost on you. You smile. “I know.”

Yoongi’s shoulders rise a little, shaking off a little bit of the pressure plaguing him. You know, because you mirror him, feeling the same.

But then, Yoongi frowns. He’s looking at his toes again. “Ew.”

“What?”

“I have a hangnail on my pinky toe.”

You bend over to pull out one of the smaller side drawers in the counter underneath you. You reach for the nail clipper. You lean down and clip off the nail, the tiny, sharp, half-moon landing next to the drain.

You turn on the sink, surprising Yoongi and causing him to jump out, splashing you as he swivels and lands on the ground.

Both of you laugh, but then you fall into a disappointed groan. With only five more minutes to spare before you head out, you won’t be wearing these jeans and this sweater after all.

Yoongi grins at the massive water stain spanning your stomach to your crotch. 

“Good,” he says. “I like the last outfit best.”

These double dates with Yoongi are actually a nice way to pass the time. A nice way to check out restaurants and venues. A nice way to get comfortable showing more of your skin. Both literally, in this crop-top and high-waisted shorts that you had to change into. But also figuratively. Having conversations and not just parroting, but talking. Feeling.

And as time goes on, you’re pretending less and less that the person you’re talking and feeling with is Taehyung.

Focusing your eyes on the face in front of you is getting easier. You no longer see black curls. You no longer imagine bread cheeks. You’re starting to see more colors. More smiles. Different kinds of smiles. All of which you’ve truly enjoyed for what they are. Nice, simple, pleasant moments. Shared.

You like how --- wait, what was his name? Jin? Jimin? --- how he leans forward, or next to you, or into you, to help give you something to anchor to. To help guide you as you settle into the rhythm that your bodies are trying to find with each other, for something as simple as walking next to each other on the sidewalk.

You don’t have to parrot. It’d be impossible, trying to match strides with someone who seems like he floats rather than walks, crossing canyons with each step. But it’s actually fun to see how your scurrying lines up. To see where and when your toes, pointed in the same direction, happen to land on the seams of the pavement at the same time.

Kind of like Tannie next to Taehyung.

That’s ultimately what solidifies your desire to continue moving forward with the last leg of the project. 

Sure, you don’t see black curls where they don’t exist. But you still want to see those black curls where they are.

The double dates are a nice way to pass the time. But eventually, enough weeks go by that you reach the point when it’s time to execute on your vision.

There are two aspects to each parcel, two envelopes that are identical in shape and size but not in color. One is always blue, and one is always red. 

The blue envelope holds each frame that you cut from your map, folded carefully and gently so as not to completely crease upon unfolding.

The red envelope carries a letter. You don’t force yourself into any particular requirements. You just try to write what comes. What you feel.

Each parcel has a number corresponding to the day of the month, and on the eve of the first, you find yourself standing in the mailroom, gripping Parcel 1 in one hand, and Taehyung’s mail key in the other.

It would all feel better if you knew whether Taehyung was ever coming back to this apartment or not.

You get a sense when you open the mailbox and move to place Parcel 1 inside.

His name is still there, but the box itself is empty. 

You haven’t heard him come home yet, you muse.

“Could have set up his parents’ house as his forwarding address,” Yoongi offers, through your one earbud.

“Very likely,” you say. 

“So he’d get it either way.”

“True.”

There’s a long pause, which Yoongi breaks with, “So… did you do it?”

“Not yet.”

There’s another long pause, which Yoongi breaks with another, “So… did you do it now?”

“Yoongi!” you grumble.

“Look, I’m not trying to rush you,” Yoongi explains, “but according to the schedule, if he is indeed back, then he’s going to pick up his mail soon.” 

You hear him clear a hit from his bong, the water bubbling.

“Fuck,” you mutter. “I should’ve taken a hit from my pen before I did this.”

“You didn’t?”

“No.”

Yoongi laughs suddenly. “I’m so high that I tipped the bong toward you.”

As your collective laughter settles, Yoongi adds, “Kitt, just do it. You won’t know if you don’t try.”

“The point of all this, I guess,” you say. 

“Yeah,” Yoongi replies gently. “And when you get back upstairs, take a hit off your pen and try to forget about it until you need to deliver Parcel 2 tomorrow.”

You nod.

“Kitt?”

“I’m nodding.”

“Good, but are you placing Parcel 1 in the box? Because I don’t hear---”

You quickly slide the blue and red envelopes, tied together with leftover red yarn, into the mailbox. You close the creaky metal door. You lock it. And you shove the key into your jeans, heart thumping as you race toward the elevator.

Yoongi giggles as he hears you whine. 

“I’m proud of you.”

You hear a knock at Yoongi’s door, and you brighten at the thought of Cheeseless Pizza Girl standing on the other side, Arizona Iced Teas in a bag hanging at the crook of her elbow, and arguably a pizza lying flat in the pizza box that she has in her hands. You know, because that’s what you recommended when she stole a moment with you in the restroom during your last double date and nervously told you about Yoongi’s invitation, asking you for thoughts on what she should bring.

“I’m proud of you, too,” you say, grinning.

Yoongi hums happily. “I’ll call you later,” he chirps.

You laugh softly. “Yoongi?”

“Yeah?”

“Yoongi,” you say, softer. “It’s… it’s OK if you don’t.”

It’s not sad, really. It just has to happen. What was bound to happen. It was a strange thing for Yoongi to miss you for all those weeks, and it’s a strange thing for you to miss Yoongi now, even though you still have him on the phone. 

You imagine Yoongi’s toes curling in his shoes. You want them to curl for a different reason.

“You can call me tomorrow, or we can always catch up at work,” you reassure him. “Just… enjoy tonight, OK?”

When you’re met with silence, you parrot yourself. “OK??”

“I’m nodding.”

The warmth in Yoongi’s voice spreads across your own chest.

He’s never sounded so sure.

You hang up and press UP on the elevator button panel.

When the doors slide open, you’re absolutely thrown.

Miss Seven Times doesn’t look up from her phone when you awkwardly slide into the elevator. She doesn’t look up when you look at her from the gorgeous blowout on her head to her perfectly manicured toes. 

She’s pretty in a way that makes people turn to follow her after she’s stepped out of view. Long, natural lashes accentuated by the perfect amount of mascara, lining her eyes enough that she doesn’t really need the cat-eye that you’re so insistent upon wearing. Deep amber irises that contrastingly seem a bit unnatural, but even more captivating, and certainly more interesting than your own plain, black dots. Strong, filled brows nearly untouched by powder or pencil, which lead down to a cute, short, bridge capped by an adorable nose tip, not too high, and not too wide. Not like yours. A strong, bold top lip, whereas yours disappears if you forget to push it forward. A top lip that matches her strong, bold bottom lip, pulled into a tight, knowing, eager grin that looks welcoming instead of reticent, no matter how much you’d practiced in the mirror to seem more open. A slender, long neck that curves beautifully into her collarbones. You aren’t sure if you have a neck or collarbones, and the only reason you suspect you do is because you’re able to move around without anyone saying anything about it. Narrow but perfectly postured shoulders, even as she’s slumped in the corner and smirking at some message on her phone. Not like your own broad shoulders that you do your best to keep rounded and hidden. 

And that’s just the cherry on top. 

Huge, even, sumptuous tits. Narrow, straight, athletic waist. Fashionable taste. Shapely and toned legs. All covered in olive, blemish-free, glowing skin. 

You start to scribble notes in your head. Start to think about what it would take to get you into that template. The kind of diet you’d need. The kind of exercise you’d have to do. The kind of makeup and creams and surgeries you’d have to budget for.

Until you feel the tightness in your average chest. Feel your claws digging into the sides of your hourglass. Catch a thread of your old hoodie in your hangnail. Become aware of the sweat on your meaty thighs, and at your temples, where you’ve started breaking out for some reason.

And sense Miss Seven Times’ eyes searching you, in turn.

“Sorry,” you say. “Um---” 

You catch sight of her left hand, and her ring on her left finger. 

“Your wedding ring is pretty,” you mention, feeling sullen.

Miss Seven Times rolls her eyes. “Oh. This isn’t a wedding ring.”

Confused, you ask, “It’s not?”

Miss Seven Times could’ve been concerned at the depth of your level of interest in a stranger’s ring, but packaged underneath all of what you see on the outside is her tendency to enjoy any reason to have a conversation about herself.

“Well, it’s a wedding ring,” she explains, “but it’s my late grandmother’s. She left it to me. I’m not married. I just wear it sometimes. Which…” 

She quickly slips off the ring and places it into her purse as she eyes the elevator’s ascent.

You bite your lip. You claw deeper into your sides. But it still comes out.

“You wear it sometimes?” you parrot.

She nods and grins. “Yeah. I’m single, but this helps me ward off guys that I’m not into anymore.”

You blink owlishly at her. “Ward off guys?”

Miss Seven Times grits her teeth. “Yeah.” Her shifting posture tells you that she’s starting to feel like this is less a conversation and more an interrogation. If she voiced it, you’d point out that you’re simply repeating her own words back to her.

“Don’t you have a thing?” she shoots back.

“A thing?”

She rolls her eyes. “I mean, you date, right?”

You shrug. “Kinda.”

“Well, don’t you give yourself a way out?”

“Way out,” you say, tone falling.

She huffs. “I’m just trying to fuck, OK? And sometimes, people get really attached. When I feel like that’s about to happen, I kinda just let this baby do the talking. Plant it somewhere and let them find it.” She smiles. “People usually back off after that. Keeps things less complicated.” 

You could scream.

“Anyway. You know what it’s like.” She sticks her tongue out. “This place. All these gross people.” 

“Yeah,” you agree, trying not to make your gaze feel so pointed, though you aren’t sure you care.

Miss Seven Times winks. “We girls gotta be clever.”

You would scream. 

You will scream.

Until you notice that the elevator is coming to a stop on the sixth floor.

Miss Seven Times gives you a disgusting toodle-oo with her diamond-accented fingers as she steps off the elevator and looks back to her phone, the Matchmaker logo just visible until her narrow shoulder blocks your view.

When you get to your apartment, you feel numb. You feel rage. You feel sadness. You feel some odd Good Samaritan sense of obligation to head back down to the sixth floor to warn whatever poor sap is about to think he’s a bad guy when really, he’s just a guy.

But when the room stops spinning, and you’re able to see clearly again, you realize.

You feel all these things.

But you also feel your lips curling into a relaxed smile.

Because even with your neckless, collarbones-less, brow-less, lip-less, hoodied state. 

You no longer feel like trash.

“Strawberry shortcake, please.”

The cashier grins, and, after taking your payment, jumps in to help out the rest of the overwhelmed employees. It has been a little while since you’ve been back to the Blue Line Bakery, but on days like today, when the ache to see Taehyung drowns out Yoongi’s hilarious diatribe about Jira tickets, or Si-hyuk’s puzzling wild-goose-chase-sending lunch requests for “that thing I like from that one place”, you get yourself a slice. A slice of time. A slice of a memory. A slice of cake.

“Busy,” you notice, looking around at the store.

The cashier nods and says, “Online reviews. Turns out that’s the secret!”

You smile and take your cake to go.

You nearly drop it when you trip on some gravel on the sidewalk.

You nearly drop it when you step off the elevator, and your heel catches in the floor gap.

And you nearly drop it when you get home to see Taehyung’s door wide open.

“Tae?” you ask, running up.

Eon-jin’s face pops into view.

“Oh,” you say sadly. “Um. Sorry. I’ll…”

She walks up to the door and folds her arms, leaning her shoulder against the wall as she watches you fumble with your key in your lock. 

“Hi.”

You keep your eyes on your doorknob. “Hi.”

You open your door.

“So…” 

You turn to Eon-jin, confused as to why she’s giving you any kind of attention.

“So, um… can you…” 

Eon-jin really doesn’t look like she wants to have this conversation, but there’s clearly something pulling her to you.

“Can I ask you something?” she asks.

You startle.

“Tannie,” she explains. “I’m here to get one of Tannie’s toys because Taehyung says Tannie’s depressed without it.”

Eon-jin reaches into her back pocket and shows you her phone screen. It’s a chat with Taehyung, with a picture of Tannie at the dog park, gnawing on a small, somewhat transparent, speckled, brown bone. And Taehyung’s message: I swear I’m looking for it, but I still can’t find it, so it’s gotta be in the apartment!

“Oh, yeah, um…” 

You close your eyes and work from memory.

“There’s a green chair. He likes to hide it in the back left corner of the seat, but if it’s not there, it’s probably---”

“Can you just---?” 

Eon-jin unfolds her arms quickly and bends them at the elbows, fingers flicking inward toward her palms, body turning sideways to make way for you, motioning for you to join her in Taehyung’s apartment.

You look at her, unsure.

“Please?” she asks.

You nod, and then you follow her inside. You walk over to the green chair and dig in the back left corner, under the back cushion. When it’s not there, you set down your cake and your purse, you get on your knees, and you dig under the seat cushion to the back right. When you feel teeth marks on the rounded edge of the bone, you smile a little, and pull the toy into view.

Your smile falls a little as you surrender the toy to Eon-jin, who takes it with a grimace, before looking at you earnestly and saying, “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

You stand.

“Well, I---”

“Been looking for over an hour,” Eon-jin tells you.

“Oh.” You shrug. “Tannie has weird habits.”

Eon-jin smirks. “Something you’d know about.”

You could take it as a dig. But something in Eon-jin’s smirk, particularly, the hopeful rather than edgy look in her eyes, is telling you not to.

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

Eon-jin grins, relieved.

“Y’know, Tannie actually seems fine,” she goes on. “He loves all the attention he gets at the house, with all of us there. The only time he seems upset is when Unnie and Byung-ho are around because we direct all our attention to him instead.” Eon-jin frowns. “He gets all yippy.”

“That bone will help,” you reply. “Taehyung would toss it Tannie’s way whenever we’d---”

You stop, less for Eon-jin’s sake, and more to combat the rising, painful bile in your throat. 

“Anyway.”

You pick up your things and turn to leave, but Eon-jin takes a step forward, turning the bone over in her hands.

“What’s that?” she asks, eyeing your Blue Line Bakery bag.

You smile at it. “Best strawberry shortcake in the city.” You look at her. “It’s no bananas foster or anything, I’m sure. But… would you want some?”

Eon-jin grins and walks over to the kitchen, grabbing two forks and two plates to set on the island. 

You split your slice and dig in together.

“Oppa’s mentioned this place before,” Eon-jin tells you, eyeing the label on the box.

You nod. “This is his favorite order.”

“It’s good.”

You can’t hold back any longer.

“How is he?” you ask nervously, letting the piece of shortcake that you’d forked slide off and bounce back onto the plate.

Eon-jin sighs. “Honestly? I… I think he’s the depressed one.”

You stop chasing your cake and meet Eon-jin’s eyes.

“I still find this whole thing to be…” 

She stiffens.

You understand why.

“But I think he does miss you,” she finishes. “A lot, actually.”

The comment is enough to make you feel a little lighter. For the colors in the room to bump up a little in saturation. For the lights that he’s still kept on to feel a little warmer.

“Has he…” You clear your throat. “Is he…”

“He stops by here sometimes,” Eon-jin answers. “Y’know. To check the mail.” Your heart catches as you follow Eon-jin’s gaze to his stack of mail on the kitchen counter. Your parcels have been received, though remain unopened. “Generally make sure everything’s OK. He brings Tannie with him sometimes. Hence, the missing bone.”

“Oh.”

Eon-jin leans forward.

“He saw you and Yoongi going somewhere, one night.”

You straighten. You want to shriek an explanation so loudly that it imprints onto Eon-jin’s face so that Taehyung can read it when she gets home.

“He said you looked pretty,” Eon-jin adds, smiling sadly.

“I’m not--- He’s not---” You shake your head. How could you not have sensed Taehyung was around at any point? It’s understandable that you’re rusty. But then again, weaning you off of that mindset was a crucial step for this part of the project. 

“Yoongi and I aren’t dating,” you say, successfully clipping the sentence before the whimper comes out. Once you’ve rid yourself of it, you go on to explain, “He’s dating. I’m just kinda joining him as a wingman.”

“I know,” Eon-jin replies. She shows you her phone again, and you see Taehyung’s account viewing Yoongi’s profile. “I tried to explain that to Oppa,” she goes on. “Why would he have an account if you two were dating?” She points to Yoongi’s name, and the crossed matchsticks set aflame next to them. “And more importantly, how could he have those matchsticks with you if you and Oppa are still technically matched?”

You sigh, relieved. Eon-jin isn’t against you. She just trusts what her data tells her.

Still, you hang onto her sentence. That she tried to explain this to Taehyung.

“He didn’t buy it?” you ask.

Eon-jin shrugs. “I don’t think it’s that he didn’t buy it so much as he’s just… sad.”

Your chest tightens. “I miss him too, y’know,” you say. “So much.”

Eon-jin smiles. She rests her chin in her hand. “What do you miss about him?”

“Lots of things,” you say simply.

Things that you’ve been putting in the letters.

Parcel 4’s letter is one of your favorites. 

“Tae, I miss the way you make space. The way you just allow people to exist. The way you let people take their time with things. The way you always wanted to be let in, but never forced yourself inside. Everything outside of you feels so rushed and complicated. I miss the way things stop and settle when I’m with you. Limbs. Kitt.”

Parcel 10’s letter is another one that you think of fondly.

“Tae, this is dumb, but… I miss your adorable bread cheeks. I’ve tried to imagine them on others to make them look more like you. Tried to make jokes that would make you grin like that, to try to make them grin like that. But I’ve stopped. I’m learning to stop trying to make things happen all the time. Limbs. Kitt.”

Parcel 22’s letter is one that you wrote on a sleepless night. A letter that you think would make Grandfather Dal proud.

“Tae, being apart from you isn’t like losing myself. Being apart from you makes me all too self-aware. Being with you makes me want to lose myself in you. Makes me want to disappear into your hold, your cells, your sweat. Your sea salt and lime. I’ve realized now, though, that if I disappear into you, that there’s nothing left of me for you. I just wanted to say that I’m still here. And if it’s not too late, I finally want to let you in. Limbs. Kitt.”

You exhale and watch the trail of vapor from your pen swirl into the air. It’s weird to turn and see pictures on the wall. You and Yoongi from that Clue movie night. Si-hyuk and you dancing at one of your end-of-quarter parties. One good picture of you with your family. 

It’s also weird that you have a lamp. Another small couch to fill space and make things cozy. A big ottoman to rest your feet on. Even one of those little wooden table things to put on top of the ottoman, with a fake flower in a simple vase for decoration. It’s also kind of nifty. You can keep your TV remote there. Set down a Slurpee without fear of it spilling.

You’re not used to seeing so much of you, outside of you, in the world.

So it’s that much more of a surprise when you’re face to face with your completed project.

Your high isn’t so strong that you missed the knock at the door. But you worried that when you saw Taehyung standing there with a soft expression that you were dreaming. 

It certainly feels like a dream, having his gentle eyes on you as you take in his apartment, all of his furniture pushed to the center of the room and facing the wall that your apartments share.

A wall, painstakingly plastered day by day over the last month, in an easy-to-follow, sequential order, to form a web about you.

A selfie of you sits in the center.

Your name, your real name, printed, and signed, just underneath.

And information has been spun all around it.

Your birthday. Your age. Your star sign. Your Myers-Briggs results. Your Enneagram results. Careful analyses of what you agree and disagree with regarding those results. Evidence in your life of those results. Evidence refuting those results entirely. A literal essay with the conclusion that while these labels are helpful in getting to know someone in the short-term, that they could never truly sum up a whole, complicated, living, breathing person.

Some pictures of you, and Yoongi, and Si-hyuk, and the work crew, and family, and old friends. Yarn connecting all the dots. Sticky notes with bullet points about schedules, tendencies, arguments, and other important information. 

Frivolous trivia about you. Shows you love. How you cried during our favorite show’s finale, and your family made fun of you for being inconsolable for nearly a month. Movies you hate. How you lost your first baby tooth when it got stuck to a Milk Dud at the movie theater, and you cried the entire way home. The places you’ve traveled, and the things you liked and disliked abotu them. What you’re like on your period: ridiculously crabby for a few days before, fine for the first two days, and then emotionally lost and detached for the rest of the week. How sour gummy worms and chocolate with toffee in it (though not Milk Duds) will help. How you like watching cricket but will never understand the rules. The fact that you’re allergic to grass and ragweed. What you take for it. What happens when you don’t.

And not-so frivolous information. That you have a sister. That you have not spoken to her in over a decade. How your parents’ divorce changed you. How it was up to you to forge your way. How you did so by proving yourself against every measure, every template, every metric of success, always blowing the competition out of the water. How you dropped out of school and started working when your father got sick. How wasted you feel at your job, but how valued you feel by your current boss and co-workers. How you’ve been worse since your father passed away a few years ago. How you blame yourself for not taking good enough care of him. How you think that has shaped your decision-making regarding the people you’ve let into your life since then. How nearly everyone other than Yoongi and Si-hyuk has taken advantage of you, forcing you to lock your doors. Why there’s so much more purpose behind the crazy, random reason that you tout that you don’t say “bless you” to people when they sneeze anymore.

Sketching it onto the 8.5 x 11” map, surprisingly, wasn’t that much work, though it did take some work not to feel embarrassed that your own wall didn’t have a ton of happy content. 

Creating all the materials and sectioning them, frame by frame, onto the glass at the copier at the business center, took more time than you initially thought it would take. 

But you’re so happy to see it put all together, 31 giant squares quilted together, perfectly covering the other side of your non-murder wall, and accentuated by Taehyung’s original mailroom key hanging on a pushpin right next to your face.

Taehyung looks at you. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” you say, squeamishly raising your eyebrows. “I knew it was coming, but… yeah, that was a lot to walk into.”

“Imagine if I had my pants around my ankles,” Taehyung jokes, and you chuckle.

His shoulders ease when you laugh. And so do yours.

He takes your hand and leads you to the couch. You sit sideways, the middle cushion remaining empty between you.

“How long did this take?” Taehyung asks.

“A lifetime,” you joke. And when he smirks, you add, “And about three weeks.”

Taehyung sighs, eyes glistening. “It’s been three weeks?”

“It’s been seven,” you tell him, looking sadly back at the wall. “The three weeks after I came to your house…”

“And then a month of this,” Taehyung realizes, nodding. “Fuck. I didn’t know it had been that long.” He sighs. “It felt like longer, but also shorter, somehow.”

You nod, biting your lip.

“So…” You take a deep, deep breath and wish you were inhaling from your pen next door. “So, what do you think?” 

Taehyung rests his arm along the couch back and leans into it, his longer, curly hair pressing into his eyes. “I think it’s real. And honest. And brave.”

He watches as your chest rises and falls quickly. You’re gasping for air, trying to stop the tears from coming, but also excited that at the very least, Taehyung believes anything that you have to say.

“And your letters,” he adds, his voice lowering. “They were really…” He sighs, clutching the buttons of his henley. “Those letters mean a lot.”

“I should have just told you,” you tell him. “I should have told you all those things in those moments. But---” You gesture hopelessly to the wall. “I just have so much to learn, and I understand if---”

“You’re not the only one learning, y’know,” Taehyung admits. 

He straightens and sits forward, angled toward you. You sit up and mimic his posture. Not intentionally. But to get ready. Ready to receive what someone is about to give you.

“I talked to Eon-jin.” He grimaces. “I can’t believe I told them about the dildo. About Yoongi. Put you in that light.”

You flush. “It’s OK,” you say. 

“But it’s not, though.”

Taehyung sighs. 

“I know that I can be… very open,” he explains. You see his hand flex, and you realize that he almost reached out for you, but doesn’t think it’s a good idea just yet. “I didn’t know that could be scary. Maybe you were being too much, but I didn’t know that I was doing the same thing in my own way.”

It’s a hard conversation to have. To realize all the reasons that a person needs to hide or take time to open up. To understand and appreciate that the vast majority of reasons have absolutely nothing to do with anyone other than that one person.

His hand flexes again, and this time, you decide to reach out for him.

But he retreats.

You look up at him, and he looks like he wants to claw out of his own skin. 

“Can I ask?” His body is so restless. You’ve never seen him like this before.

“You can always ask,” you say. “But whether or not I answer will depend on what you’re asking, I think.”

“Fair.” Taehyung clears his throat. “Just… why did you have the dildo?” He frowns. “And why was Yoongi there with his---” He shakes his head, not wanting the image to accompany the question. “The way that he was?” He looks at you. “Are you ready to share that part of it?”

You soften. You’re not sure how to explain that he’s not the bad guy. That there was no cheating. At least not with who he thought. You want to tell him that he hasn’t truly wronged anyone. But you’re also not sure if you can be the one to explain that, now, or ever. 

So you stick to where you are. This question. This conversation. This moment. 

“That night. At Si-hyuk’s. You remember?”

“Yeah?”

“I felt like I was falling short somehow.” You lower your head sadly. Embarrassed. “I caught Yoongi off-guard. I…” A gulp. “I asked him if I could, like---” You shrink your neck into your collarbones. “---give him a blowjob?---” you squeak. “---so that I could learn what I might’ve done wrong?” Your eyes grow twice their size. “Of course, Yoongi said no, and then we just kinda got into a bit of a scuffle and fell, and---”

“God, no, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Taehyung insists. “I just… I wanted you on me because… well… it felt like you were trying to do something you didn’t want to do?”

“No. Fuck, I was definitely trying. But I was trying to do something that I thought you���d like?” You run a hand through your hair. “I even researched all these techniques. Tried to switch them up for you. But I guess I just wasn’t good at them.”

“You almost made me come,” Taehyung tells you in a low whisper. “Right at the start. It was the fastest I think I’d ever gotten there.”

You frown. “What? Really?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, smiling, and his eyes shining. “But then I felt your brain turn on.”

You remember what Yoongi told you about being in the moment.

“I wanted you,” Taehyung tells you desperately. “I still want…” He looks so pained. “I’ve only ever just wanted you. Not for any particular reason other than I just want you.”

“That scares me a little,” you admit, remembering more of your conversation with Yoongi.

“It does?” Taehyung asks, confused.

“I don’t feel like I earned it,” you say, a little more confident, now that you know how to talk about it. What words you can use. And it’s surprising to learn that it’s not as nerve-wracking to share, even with Taehyung, because you’d already shared it with someone else. 

“I’m used to earning things,” you summarize. “Good things. But the things I don’t earn are… well…” 

You look back at the wall.

And Taehyung understands.

He nudges your wrist with his fingers. 

You turn back to him.

And your fingers slip into each other, his index and middle finger hooking yours, his thumb soothingly running over your two knuckles.

“You don’t have to earn this,” he tells you, watching his fingers meld with yours. “If you want it, it’s yours. It just is.”

Tears spill from your eyes. 

“It’ll be different,” you say.

He nods. “It’ll have to be. I’ll be more careful. Patient.”

“I’ll tell you things.” You smile. “Be less afraid. Like you’ve shown me.”

And then, “I missed you,” you tell him in a broken whisper. 

He starts to cry as a smile cracks his lips open. “I missed you, too.” He laughs. “My family were going fucking nuts the longer I stayed there. Kitt this, and Kitt that.” He whines. “Eon-jin told me that you split a Blue Line strawberry shortcake with her, and I fucking wept.”

You laugh, and Taehyung moves to the middle of the couch, kissing you eagerly.

How it feels to have him back. Not just in the air somewhere, like in the hallway, or at the bakery, or the grocery store, or in the mailroom. But next to you. Around you. On you.

“I missed you,” you whisper again.

Lips mash together, interrupted only by whiny grunts and sobs, and clawing hands on each others’ faces, each grab somehow not fulfilled, always repeated, always in search of more.

“I missed you,” you tell him desperately. “Let me show you how much.”

You position him to sit back in the middle seat, dripping down his form and kneeling on the ground in exalt. You run your hands up and down his thighs, looking up at him with your purest eyes, turning off your brain and focusing just on what you see, hear, and feel. The feel of Taehyung’s button and zipper in your fingers. The sound of him moving against the couch. The sight of his head leaning back involuntarily, threatening to stay there until the cords of muscle along his spine force him to look down at you. If you could sense what he’s thinking, you’d hear him telling himself to watch you, take in every second with you, reminding him how torturous it was to be left in wonder.

You rest your forearms on his thighs and revel at his crown, your hands, and your pretty, kiss-plumped lips surrounding him and taking care, sucking quietly and gently, your tongue roving over flesh slick and eager. Slow. Soft. Careful. Eyes lock, and Tae moans, his hand latching onto your right wrist when you draw him in and out, and then back in again.

When you take more of him in, he nearly howls, praying that you’ll inch past a little more, that your mouth’s juices will flow a little more, prayers met nearly immediately as he sends them. He lets go of your wrist and runs his hand through his hair before placing his hand back on your wrist, pinching a little, letting you know that you are definitely doing what he likes. He will always love what you truly and fully give him.

The back of your throat widens, and when his crown touches your tonsils, he shivers, looking down at you, almost as if angry, impressed at how you’ve taken his request to let him in and run with it. You groan when you see that look on his face, stunning, and made even more intoxicating when he bites his bottom lip and lets his tongue hang out.

You tilt your head to the side and raise your eyebrows.

“Yes, fuck,” Taehyung encourages, sighing and working his hips up, pushing his cock past your tonsils and into your throat. When you feel his head hit the back, you feel your pussy parroting the sensation, making your hips buck.

“You getting turned on for me?” Taehyung growls. You slurp, and Taehyung whines, unable to let just one flick of his head back pass. He struggles to look down at you, nodding as you move. 

You start to slide yourself against his length, neck flexing, steady, both of you dazed. He reaches down for you as you slide him out, keeping just his crown between your lips, and he studies your face, placing his thumb and forefinger against your jaw. “Fucking gorgeous,” he whines, as you slither along him again, moaning at the praise. “Fucking beautiful.”

Taehyung notices that your hips are starting to move in slow circles as you work him out.

“Play with yourself.”

You groan, widening your stance and jutting your ass out. Taehyung holds the base of his cock for you as you bring your hands down to your sweats, undoing them and sliding them over your ass. You kneel again, pinning the waistband between the backs of your thighs and the backs of your calves, pussy free, and fingers finding your clit.

“Mmmm,” Taehyung moans, watching as you rub, your eyes squeezing shut as you start to gulp more of him down, faster, and matching the swirl around your bud in pace.

You feel Taehyung’s knuckles against your chin, and you angle down to get your lips to touch him there on each return, little kisses that you can give him, letting him know how much you care.

He whines even louder when you rise up on your knees and jut your ass out. He can’t tear his eyes away from you, staring dumbfounded as you ride your hand, the hem of your hoodie inching up and showing more of your back. 

“Kitt,” he whispers, letting go of his cock and reaching for that hoodie. “Off. Off, please?”

You release him and sigh, and he grabs his cock, stroking it as you pull the fabric up and over, breasts jiggling free and bouncing as you toss your hoodie aside and get back into position.

Taehyung spreads his knees farther apart, letting go of himself completely and leaning back in his seat, arms spread out, all of his energy spent on keeping that neck supported as you keep your eyes locked on each other.

You close your eyes suddenly, and he sees that you’re close, hips moving in tighter circles, movements jerky and spasmic. 

He leans forward, his strong torso pressing down on the back of your head slightly as he reaches over and massages you from the back, spitting on his fingers and pressing the tips into your entrance. A squeal eeks out of your full throat, and Taehyung feels it wrap around his length, warm and exciting.

“Come for me,” he grunts, his own hips bucking up into you.

You let your ass bounce up and down, slit running from Taehyung’s hand to yours. You start to move side-to-side, and Taehyung grips your opening, pinching your folds and making you start to wobble. Your movements are making him so sensitive, and he knows that he’s also about to lose control.

“Fuck,” he groans. “A-almost---”

You moan again, using your free hand to stroke up and down his side, and then his back. And when you bring your fingers together like claws, dragging one long, steady, deep scratch down his spine, he bucks up, squeezing your head between his thighs and torso before whipping back against his couch.

Cream fills your mouth. Leaks out the sides. You rise and tilt your head back to swallow, but Taehyung shakes his head. 

He strips his shirt off and leans down to you. His tongue breaks through your lips, cum dripping down your neck, collarbones, and tits. He drinks from your mouth, slurping as much as you are through your kiss. His hand strokes his spurting cock, leaving trails on your breastbone, as you twist against him, torn between catching your breath and giving it to Taehyung.

You gasp, swallowing the last of him, and he bends you back to lick you clean. A sweet, warm, tongue. More salt than lime, but Taehyung all the same.

“Amazing,” Taehyung whines, kissing you and pulling you to him. “I came so fucking hard. So fucking much---”

A series of yips interrupts your thoughts, and you turn to see Tannie curled up in his bed, seemingly annoyed at all the noise you’re making.

You giggle, and Taehyung groans, muttering, “Tannie, what the fuck---”

Tannie growls a little and rolls over.

Sweetly reaching for his jaw and turning it to face you, you place a sticky kiss on his lips and ask, “What if we let him sleep and pop into mine for a sec?”

Taehyung’s eyes widen, and so does his smile.

You stand, shedding the rest of your clothes, and Taehyung does the same. 

And then he picks you up, tickling you and kissing you as you wrap your legs around his core, pressing your lips against his as he closes the door to his apartment, neither of you caring if anybody’s in the hallway.

He quickly opens the door to yours.

You hug him tightly, pressing his temple against your chest and nestling your cheek in those soft curls of his as you move your hips against him and whine. His pillowy bicep rests against the curve of your waist, and his strong arm wrapped around you keeps you steady as he carries you through your entryway. Notices your new photos and furniture. Kisses your neck sweetly and calmly, though you can feel his heart beating out of excitement.

He opens the door to your bedroom, and as he lays you down on your bed, he kisses you so deeply. Gratefully, you realize. Grateful that you’ve finally let him come in.

“Brown sugar,” he thinks to tell you, kissing your jaw, before leaning over your breasts.

“Huh?” you ask.

“You wrote to me about sea salt and lime.” He kisses your breast. “That’s what you smell like. Taste like. Your body, your hair, your sheets. Brown sugar.”

You smile. 

He groans as he dives into your bosom, tongue wrapping around your left, pert nipple, so excited that it’s starting to hurt. He sucks, your flesh turning red and swollen.

“That feels so good,” you moan, hips grinding against nothing.

Taehyung feels your movements and brings one hand down to your flesh, his strong fingertips milking your clit and making you keen. 

“Even better?” he asks.

“Yes,” you sigh. “Tae, I---”

Words escape you as he dips down, placing his lips on your velvet, sapid skin. You’re so ready for him that it doesn’t take much for you to come. But you rock against him when you do, juices making his jaw glisten like his eyes do when he shines them in glory up at you. You see his other hand stroking his length, hard again after having feasted.

“Can I…?” he asks. “Can we…?” 

You reach out for him, and he hovers on top of you, kissing you fervidly as he eases inside, his cock growing more turgid with each movement, so full that you feel every twitch and ridge traveling with it. You moan when his hips lock with yours, and with each hypnotizing stroke, you find yourself gripping him harder and closer.

“Needed you like this,” Taehyung whimpers, planting himself at the base of your neck, sucking and biting a row of purple along a delicate line. “Couldn’t stop thinking… Wanting…”

You tighten for him, and he yelps, picking up speed as you send him into overdrive.

“G-good,” he says, full-voiced, your fingers finding his hands on either side of you, arms stretching out like wings as he lies on top of you, both of you soaring. “Perfect. Fucking perfect.”

“Fucking perfect,” you parrot, his chin resting on top of yours, lips smashed and teeth nipping.

He whines again, and then something within you squeezes even tighter before imploding, everything rising and rushing to the top layer of your skin, every emotion, thought, ask, response, prayer, wish, all of it, heard, and granted.

Taehyung lets out a tired, long growl as his muscles finally relax. As your toes curl, and then straighten. As you let your limbs lay on top of limbs, feeling each other. Reminding each other that you’re there.

You run your hands through Taehyung’s hair, chuckling softly as he mutters your name.

“It’ll be different,” you whisper again.

“Even better,” Taehyung mumbles. He smiles and turns to you, chin resting on your breastbone. “Thanks for finally letting me in.”

“Took me some time, but I finally filled the space in a non-creepy way,” you laugh, the gasps helping you catch your breath.

Taehyung furrows his brow. And then he shakes his head.

“No. I mean, your apartment looks cool and all. But I meant…”

He places the pads of his fingers on your heart.

“I meant here.”

You smile at each other.

And you’re content knowing that there’s nothing left to do for now, except stop, and settle. To reach over and bring your sheets around your connected, sweaty, exhausted, happy, brain-drained, but full-hearted bodies. To hold each other tight, digging in with all you’ve got.