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phyrestartr · 1 year ago

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Your Godly Path Leads Back To Him | Miguel O'hara x Male!Reader

#NSFW, Male Reader, Western/Cowboys, Miguel O'hara is a sheriff, complicated emotions, reunion trope, mentions of abuse, mentions of drinking, mentions of past trauma, angst, hurt/comfort, religious themes, men working through their shit, sad old men being sad, one-shot(?)

Notes: Dude this is so long lol I'm EXHAUSTED after powering through this, but it had to be done!! Had this one in the drafts for a while after listening to Preacher's Daughter by Ethel Cain and SHEESH. I wanted to write about some cowboys okay that's all tysm

--Your Godly Path Leads Back To Him--

"I love ya, pretty boy," you murmured into the soft dip of his cheek, leaving behind the scorch of your lips: an invisible scar, one that'd ruin his perfect smile next time the sun rose.

Miguel's gaze traced lines into you to make you bleed. Across the expanse of bite-tainted shoulders, grazing the vital veins and tendons of your neck, up to the thoughtfully chiseled features God hand-picked for you, His favourite, the man he poured silvered moonlight onto, filling in your crystalline eyes that very moment Miguel finally caught them gazing his way after you dared to maim him.

The thin, scratchy blanket shifted, and let prickly hay nip at Miguel's bare skin when you held the side of his face with a warm, calloused hand. You burned away his nerves, eased away anything that could distract him from you, from that moment.

What was Miguel supposed to say?

"Hey," you whispered. Your fingers grazed against his forehead as you brushed dark locks away from blurred eyes and creased brows. "Come on now, don't make that face. My love such a bad thing?"

Miguel laughed, like the sun braving a rainy day. "Maybe, with a track record like yours." A deflection. A cheap, easy thing Miguel tried to fit behind. But you knew him too damn well.

"Pretty boy and a funny guy, huh?" You hummed and picked yourself off your side, slotting back into the spot you'd carved between Miguel's legs, flush up to his hips–the place you'd been all night. Goosebumps on tawny skin rose to meet your phantom touches. Not even the warmth of the summer night's breeze could help him.

"Glad not even your daddy could beat the life out of you." Your words licked across his neck before your lips seared those in, too.

"Well, I--I, uh…" Clay brown eyes fluttered shut when you touched him. "I really–" He tried again. Miguel's head dug back into the hay, gifting a speckle of splintering hay crackles to the ambience of mooning crickets. The littlest sighs, the gentlest of moans, so spent and eager, slipped from between his tired, wanting lips, bolstering the symphony of the night.

Your lips found his again. Your tongue tasted him, finding the familiar smoke of fine whiskey and the sweet icing of flaked pastries. One of your hands threaded into his hair and held the back of his neck, keeping him close, stopping him from seeing the swirling haze in your own eyes.

"It's alright, honey," you whispered against his cheek before you pushed into him, "you ain't gotta say it back." His hands flew to your back, clawing into your skin and pulling your body flush against his. Miguel's stuttered gasps found a home in the warmth of your shoulder, and you etched quiet moans over the mark you'd already left. Such a greedy, evil man you were.

And that’s why you couldn’t love him.

But you did, and you kept telling him while you held him, even though it made your heart ache, even though it made your heart break. Because it was so horribly, painfully, undeniably true–you loved him. You loved the bastard son of the sheriff. You loved the man who was to be wed to a beautiful woman with wide hips and the gift of giving him the family he always dreamed of for himself.

And you? You were trouble. A dog on the road, scrounging for scraps, looking for any woman or sorry soul to take you in for the night–and then you found yourself neither, and didn't know how to walk away from what you’d found.

But trouble was always gonna find you, whether it be your man’s father or his wife’s, the corrupt deputies and counties paid to find you, the do-gooder bounty hunters looking for their payday. You'd be damned if you let trouble find him: Miguel O'hara, a cocky prick, a ladies man, a man who gave you love and patience when you needed it most.

This was the last night you were gonna love him.

–

Ten hours later, you were gone.

–

Ten years later, you were back.

–

The market was busy. Customers and vendors alike bustled through cramped cobbled streets, but Miguel heard one voice clear as day like lightning striking through the darkest storm.

"You lookin' for your momma, sweetheart?"

Then, he heard his Gabi.

His boots thumped against the ground hard on his dash towards his little one. Folks in the crowd hurried out of his way or got pushed past until Miguel spied his baby girl talking to a fellow crouched down to her level. It was you, wearing that same damn hat, toting that same damn bag over your shoulder, wearing those same damn boots, all in the town where you'd met.

"Papá's gone," Gabi sniffed, clutching onto the fabric of her dress with trembling little hands. "I-I dunno where he went!"

"Hey, hey, you're okay, baby. We'll find him." You pat her head and smoothed some of the flyaways that escaped her braids. "We'll find that old sheriff and–"

"Well, you found him," Miguel cut in, sauntering in on the conversation with his thumbs hooked into the worn leather of his belt. He did his best to gaze at you with a stranger's stare, but he was already losing the game he decided to play.

Especially when your eyes flicked to him, looking less than surprised and more than happy to see him, if that crooked smile was anything to go off of.

Gabriella threw herself at Miguel and buried her little face into his shirt, staining the worn cotton with drops of tears. Miguel pat her head before kneeling down and holding her hands in his.

"You alright, mija?" He cooed, concern softening his voice and taking the fight out of him. Gabi nodded dramatically and Miguel wiped her eyes. "You can't run off like that, kid, you had me scared half to death."

"I-I know, ‘m sorry.” And she really did look it, but Miguel knew her wanderlusting, bored little self would get lost in the crowds again, thinking she’d always make it back to her daddy. It could never happen to me was a jinx thought too many times. Everything could happen to them. Anything. Just like you leaving.

Right. The sheriff’s eyes glanced up to find yours again, but he found an empty space instead. Gone. Again. Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised by that.

–

But when night fell, he had an inkling of where to find you.

Miguel found Lyla’s bar, that place where men drank ill of the divine’s blood, where you would drink yourself, the cannibal you were.

Upon first glance around the room, through the cheers of his title and welcoming smiles, he didn’t find you. But Lyla nodded at the backdoor, and Miguel had his answer.

He grabbed a drink on the way out, maybe to settle his nerves or to drown you with, he wasn’t sure. The song of a guitar called to him the second he cracked that back door open. Like a fisherman drawn to the siren’s voice, he followed it earnestly, the hand holding his bottle tightening while earthen brown eyes searched for you–

And there you were, sat on a log bench, thick cigar hanging from your lips, drink at your side, plucking away at tired strings for a crowd of ghosts around a dark phantom fire. Worshippers, no doubt. Specters of lovers passed, maybe.

Moonlight draped across your shoulders like the thick blankets of snow weighing on the surrounding cedars. They, too, listened to the hymn, bowing how they could to show their fealty to you. But you didn’t mind it, not acting how godly things were said to act, instead welcoming them as real brothers and sisters and others, all equal on the same ground. Miguel didn’t know how you could still not have a care in the world when the world cared so much for you.

Miguel’s boots crunched in the snow, and you turned your gaze to him. Now that he had the time to spare, he took in the lines and wear on your fine face, the age added under mischievous eyes and the new, silvered scars glowing against your complexion. Older, and handsomer. How was it possible? How was that fair?

Then that horrible smile appeared, the one he’d felt sear into his skin all those years ago. He felt it now, burning on his neck, on his lips, and somehow he knew you felt it, too. Under a moonlit night, in the old barn of his daddy’s estate, you’d taught him your gospel from sunset to sunrise, showed him how mercy felt, how a kind god’s hand could heal. Those lips whispered to him things prophets wish they knew, things they’d give everything to hear first before any other man–but no, it was just for Miguel.

You stood and walked to him, guitar in-hand, and Miguel lost all sense of mind.

–

He slammed you up against his front door once the damn thing closed and blocked out the cold, leaving you victim to his gnashing teeth and clawing hands. His knee found its place snug up against your crotch as he devoured your voice with a scorned kiss, filled with the clash of fangs and demanding bites. You moaned into him, too weak to deny him his wants, or to deny yourself.

"Your daughter–" you gasped once his mouth left yours. You muffled a moan into his shoulder as he ground his knee against your crotch harder. "Miguel–"

"She's with Peter for the night," he breathed into your neck inbetween hot, open-mouthed kisses left on your scarred skin. "Figured something'd be happenin' tonight."

"Hmm." You smiled into the leather of his jacket and left a soft kiss there before leaning back to spy his handsome face. "Glad we can pick up where we left off, Sheriff."

"Hardly." His hand found your neck, and you offered your throat, your blood, for communion. For union. "You've got some fucking gall showing up around here again, let me tell you. Gotta say I have questions about where you've been, why you left, why you're back now." The pressure around your throat tightened and you coughed just the slightest bit to prove your mortality. Miguel's eyes, deep and dark like wine, drank you in now that he had you where he wanted you.

"You think you got some answers for me, trouble?" The sheriff asked.

You grinned. Not even that damn cuff around your throat could scare you off, truth be told.

"I just might."

Miguel's lips followed the path of your whisper back to your sinful mouth once again, and he kissed you. You clung to him, a god yearning to taste the sweetness that humanity had cultivated, and let him take the reins–the human would know humanity best, after all.

His knee left the spot between your legs, but his hips closed the gap in its stead and ground hard against you. Sparks ignited from between your bodies, and you moaned. Miguel's soft, breathy sigh melted into your voice as his lips lingered against your very own. It felt too much like the past.

"Shh, Christ–don't you know how to shut up?" Miguel asked with the wickedest grin stretched across those fine features of his, like he wasn't the bastard at the root of your noise.

"Oh, you're really asking for an ass-kicking, shit head," you scoffed, but couldn't help the laugh that sank into his cheek. "Want me to make no noise, huh? Make you think you're doing a shit job getting me off?" Miguel's hand tightened around your length, then. Maybe he liked being a lil degraded.

"Câllate. I know I'm doing a good job." His face twisted into a pouty frown. "Now hurry up and touch me, too." Miguel's face couldn't get more red with the demand.

But you grinned and complied. Tucked away in the barn where all dark deeds were done, you pulled loose his belt and unzipped those old jeans before palming him up and showing him what it meant to worship.

Miguel moaned and leaned into your touch, pushing you deeper into the thick wooden support beam keeping everything standing. Your first hands worked each other to find Eden while the second hands wandered and touched, trying to find where they were supposed to land next on their quest into the great unknown. The bible had been so, so wrong, so now what was their guide?

Each other, the answer would be.

Oil-slicked fingers pistoned into your tight hole with frenzied purpose, stretching you open and wide for all Miguel had waiting on offer. Your fingernails caught into every hitch and grain of the wooden dining table beneath you, somewhere you'd find no purchase but decided you didn't deserve any; this was, after all, divine punishment, was it not?

Though it was unceremonious the way he yanked those fingers out and slammed his cock in, filling you to the brim in one fatal flourish, tearing a choked gasp from your smoke-addled throat. Your forehead dug into the wood as your hips jolted back to find more of him. Miguel's hands, broad and calloused, held fast to your hips and stroked the taught muscle there, the stretched skin over bone, with his thumbs. He smoothed your skin and soothed any aches you felt in the aftermath of man's brutality.

Just when you thought to snap at him to move, he rocked his hips against yours slowly, pulsing into you with shallow, merciful thrusts. But even just that was enough to snatch the air out of your lungs.

Miguel blanketed your body with his own, bending over you and breathing softly against the shell of your ear as his weight pinned you to the table. You had to admit the man was giving you whiplash with every flip of your punishment.

"Go a little harder, baby," you whispered sweetly, nearing on begging as you pushed your hips back against his.

Miguel's rhythm stuttered. His hands tightened around your waist, blunt nails digging into soft sides as the teeth by your ear snicked together with the hiss of a breath, of words unspoken.

"You want harder?" Miguel mumbled. He buried his face into your neck and inhaled deep, filling his lungs with that scent you brought with you when you escaped whatever holy shrine man had imprisoned you in.

"Fine." His chest left your back as he stood up straight. You felt the shift in the room before he slammed into you over and over again like you owed him this.

And you did. You'd left. You'd run away after showing your heart to him. You could've left without a word. You should've. But where else would you find someone to drag you down to Earth the way he did?

His hand slipped under your neck then and tightened fiercely as he used you, and your mind snapped back to the present, to how this communion threatened to rot into sacrifice. You didn't seek the unholy. You didn't want faith like this.

"Stop," you rasped. Your hands clawed at the noose around your neck when words didn't work. Turns out it scared you just a bit more than you thought."Miguel."

"I thought you wanted it hard," his voice growled into your ear, too distant from that charisma and snark you knew and fell for. He was cold. Angry. Not saying what he wanted to say.

"I–" but you coughed and saw the abyss for a second when you thought your neck might give, and instincts stepped in for you.

You managed to shove Miguel off, so hard in fact he crashed back into the counter where dishes sat drying in a rack. They clattered to the dismal tune of your dying heart while you caught your breath and tried to steady your legs underneath yourself as you stared hard at the man who'd never hurt you.

You'd had your fair share of flirty women and shameful men, whether it was a job to make a quick buck, a ploy to rob them in the night, or an attempt at finding something real.

The women were always kindly, confessing of the snakes in the garden out front and the woes they felt in the house in the times their husbands lurked. Always so intimate, always so willing to open their hearts and their bodies to you. You'd give them the same respect in kind, murmuring about a boy you still loved, hinting at the skeletons laid hidden in a hundred different pieces in your closet. Two wanting beings seeking a kind One's touch.

But the men made you less than human. Filled to the brim with callous denial and self-loathing, blaming you for what they'd done and what they'd do. You hated them for what they'd do to you. You hated them for proving man was beyond saving. You hated them because they were just like the one that came before you.

And maybe you hated them for reminding you what your mortal man could do to you, too.

But Miguel looked shell-shocked. A little too human, a little too unlike those others with the way his wide eyes scanned you over as his own chest heaved and his own two hands struggled with what to do. He almost took a step forward, but took it back.

Miguel's voice broke through, real soft and quiet. "(Name), I–"

"Don't," you snapped, hating the way your voice shook. You wondered if you'd ever yelled at your daddy this way.

"You don't get to–no, not you. You don’t get to do that to me. Anyone but you." Because he was your prophet. Someone you could hide with and share the darkest of the dark with in safety, away from the rest of the hated world. What would you be if you lost him, too?

You didn't know what you expected, maybe to be kicked out or yelled at again if history repeated itself, but Miguel braving those steps towards you and holding you close was nothing short of a needed surprise. You were both something of a mess, pants all awry and brows creased with sweat and emotion, but with the mess came comfort. And to you, comfort smelled like licorice, sun, and leather.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. And your heart swelled; men didn't say that to you. No one ever said that to you.

Your arms, tentative and maybe a little afraid, found their way around his waist, and you pulled him in closer. Miguel's shoulders relaxed with every soothing sweep of your palm against his back, and you let his weight fall into you a little bit more. Because as much as he was your happy place, you were his, too.

Miguel laughed bitterly before he said, "I guess I'm more like my father than I wanna admit."

Wife beater.

You pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes. "You know that ain't true." His eyes looked away from you then, and you caught his cheek with your hand to stop the rest of his head from following. "It's been a long time. There's…quite a bit left unsaid."

Miguel huffed something of a laugh as he leaned into your touch. "Huh, that was almost poetic. You been reading up since you were gone?"

"Might've stolen a few pretty books from some fanciful folks here 'n there." You smiled.

"Yeah? Guess it was worth it, if you're talking like that now."

"Wasn't worth leavin' you."

Earthen eyes found you again, looking wide and innocent like those fauns you saw on your travels. You liked that look on him, the look of a pretty boy being awed by a roadbound hooligan. You thought maybe you could get him to blush, too.

Your other hand found the empty side of his face and cupped it, mirroring the other, before you leaned in and closed your eyes. This time, cinders sparked against your lips when they met, proving that man, indeed, created flame without heavenly guidance. That burgeoning blaze bloomed and blossomed when you kissed Miguel O'hara to remind him of the words you spoke that night ten years ago:

I love ya, pretty boy. You ain't gotta say it back.

Because the fire in you had enough heat to keep two warm at night.

"I never should've left you," you murmured against his lips. "I thought–I figured it'd be for the best, but–" your voice died in your throat when Miguel's lips caught your chatty mouth and dove into another hot kiss. You sighed, happy to abandon that solemn train of thought in favour of slipping your arms around his neck and enjoying him like you were 21 all over again.

"I know," Miguel mumbled when he parted and let you breathe. "You wouldn't leave for nothin', selfless bastard." He smiled a little. "But I'm still cross with you."

Your hands moved to curl into his worn shirt as you nodded. "I know."

"And we're gonna sort everything out."

"Good."

"But right now," he started before catching your chin between his fingers and tilting your head up the slightest bit, "I think I'd like another shot at fucking you silly, mi amor."

Your stomach dipped into sticky, gooey desire. Mi amor. The words radiated through every nerve and cell of your design.

You nodded. "Go right ahead."

This time, Miguel swept you up into his arms and carried you up the stairs like a bride on her wedding day while you laughed and dotted him with kisses all over. He all but threw you onto the bed before you both tore each other's clothes away in a fit of love and lust, too eager to see one another at your most vulnerable.

Miguel's broad hands smoothed down your chest and thighs as he settled between them, and the look in his half-lidded eyes had your stomach coiling with impatience. But he took his time, dipping his fingers into the lines and creases of scars and muscle, pressing against each errant beauty mark he found hidden on your warm skin. But, thankfully, his impatience won out, and he rushed to pick up where you’d both left off.

You were glad to hold onto him this time as he filled you again. Your hands grabbed at his shoulders and clawed at his back as he kissed your neck and rolled against you slowly, gradually convincing your tight heat to relax and let him back in. And Miguel was quite the persuasive one, rocking his hips in a delicious tempo of short, shallow half-notes, whispering fluttering words of praise when he charted forgotten ground. A worthy worshiper, truly.

Your hips jolted when his pressed to yours. "Shit," you rasped into his shoulder when he bottomed out, but only after teasing your soft spot for a few agonizing minutes.

Miguel chuckled lightly. He licked a long stripe up your neck before biting into your flesh and earning himself a hearty moan. You bit him back, if only to be a brat; gods could do whatever they wanted.

"You feel good?" He asked, like he didn't already know the answer.

You nodded against him before you allowed him to pull you back to get a look at your brows twisted together, at the love-drunk blush smeared across your face, at the half-lidded heaviness of dilated eyes. He kissed you like that once, twice, and then his forehead pressed against yours when he showed you what he was really meant for.

Long forgotten were the seconds spent downstairs on the dining table. Now is all that remained: the heat rippling through your thighs, the fire in your core, lava in your veins that moved when he did, spreading an impossible bliss through every inch of your being.

"Honey," you gasped between the soft pants and choked moans. Your fingers threaded through his hair and held his neck as Miguel fucked the air out of your lungs and spoiled himself with your rare little noises.

Miguel smirked. "Oh? Already?" He lifted his forehead from yours to kiss and mark your neck the way you so selfishly did in the past. "Don't, ah, tell me you're losing your touch."

"Shut–shut up," you grumbled. "Still got an annoying fucking mouth for such a–oh."

Miguel's hips angled slightly differently in that second, brushing up against a spot that had you seeing stars and your body tightening up and demanding more. A shaky, loud moan slipped past Miguel's defenses, too, and he made damn sure to focus his attention on that spot.

"Fuck, you feel good, viejo," Miguel moaned over the creaking of the bed.

“Hah. You’re welcome,” you cooed, ego stretched and lazing, and then you gasped louder as Miguel cranked it up a notch and slammed against your sweet spot with more fervor than before. You bit his shoulder again in defiance.

Miguel laughed, breathless and shaky as his control slipped and he delved into your body with primal instinct. Your thighs tightened around his waist, eager to feel that grand finale you’d been craving since you laid your eyes on him.

“Miggs?”

“Mh?”

“Kiss me.”

And he obliged, igniting the trail of gunpowder from the tip of your tongue and letting it burn all the way to the dynamite bundled up tight in your stomach. You exploded, burning bright with too many colours as your back arched and your arms seized your lover tightly. Beautiful nonsense left your mouth and filled the air with the mess of bed creaks and Miguel’s voice rose and rose before stopping altogether as he spilled his warmth inside your molten centre.

He kissed you lazily. Little, shaky moans rattled against your teeth as Miguel rocked against you through the aftershocks and pulled every last drop of pleasure from himself. It made you smug; his wife, dead or alive, clearly didn’t fuck him the way you could.

It took some time to come down, but when you both did, he was settled up against you, his back against your chest as you leaned against the headrest and played with his hair. One of your hands was confiscated so the sheriff may look over the silvered scars and healing wounds–a few of the many trophies you’d earned on your travels.

“So?” Miguel murmured.

“Hm?”

“Why’d you leave?”

You took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. Too many thoughts plagued your mind, too many reasons, too many excuses all piling up on each other like bodies in a war. But you had to find that truth and show it to him. It’s what he expected. It’s what you actually owed him.

“Well, your old man wanted me dead.” Miguel tensed against you for a moment, and you were quick to calm him with the scratch of your nails against his scalp. He melted into you, and you smiled. “You know how Delgato loves to talk. Never shuts the fuck up, actually. Was a good thing this time, though, otherwise I’d be killed three times over.”

Miguel huffed a soft laugh. “Guess so. But why you?”

“Because I wanted you. I guess I had you, too, and that wasn’t the plan, right? You had to marry Dana.” You sighed softly and shook your head. “If she weren’t so wicked fine, I’d be more bent out of shape about it.”

You sensed Miguel roll his eyes. “Santa Muerte. Do you ever think with your head instead of your cock?”

“Seems like a waste of time,” you jabbed back with a cheeky grin. You leaned in and kissed his shoulder while he grumbled and mumbled to himself.

“So that’s it? You left because that low-life wanted you dead?”

“Hold on, hold on. Let me keep talkin’.” You adjusted your arms around him before you continued. “My daddy was a crook, a real good one, too. Momma wasn’t much better. Guess you could call her a murderer, but she was a smart one. She brought back the magic that was Aqua Tofana back in the 60s. Poisoned him. Killed him." Your fingers traced around errant freckles splashing across the nape of his neck as you thought back. "Tyler Stone found out about it."

Miguel cursed under his breath. He leaned more of his weight back into your chest. Your arms tightened around him, too.

"Came after that old woman who threw the blame on me, and then they came after me." A bitter smile drained your light. "Traveled all over the place, ran even more. 'N then…somehow ended up falling for the bastard son of the man I was running from." You sighed and nuzzled against Miguel's shoulder. "The cruel irony of it all, hey?"

"You don't have to run anymore," Miguel said, voice oozing with the power of a sheriff. He turned in your hold, and sat facing you with his strong hands holding your shoulder and your cheek. "You're done running."

You huffed a breath through your nose before you hung your head the slightest bit. "Says who?"

"Says me.” Both hands held your face now, bringing your attention back to Miguel’s divinely cut features as he tried to speak some sense into you. “The man you said you loved. The bastard son of the man you were runnin' from." His thumbs rubbed soothing paths along your cheekbones. “You know you’re done runnin’, too. Why else would you come back here?”

And maybe there was some truth to those words. Why did you come back here? Were you tired of the road? Tired of the gun fights, the robbing, the lying? Is that why you trekked your horse down these familiar roads without even realizing it until you saw that old church stretching above the rising sun? Or maybe you were following threads of your fate, wandering to the tune of your South-flying heart when your chest finally got too cold after ten years without light.

Yeah, maybe you were done running.

Your nose brushed his when you leaned into him. “You want me to stay, pretty boy?”

“I’ll make you stay. Sheriff’s promise. Besides,” Miguel murmured. His forehead pressed to yours and his eyes fell closed before the next whisper changed everything: “Te amo.”

Your eyes watered, so you let them fall closed, too. The barest of laughs broke through your quivering breaths. It was relief that flooded you, and those two little words were the ark that raised you up out of your misery and confusion of the world. You felt like you could breathe. Like you meant something for once. Like maybe the hymns and verses might have been based on truth.

“Well,” you started, leaning into the summer touch wiping away your autumn tears, “why didn’t you say so sooner?”

“I should’ve. I really should’ve.” Miguel laughed something warm and loud when you yanked him in for a hug and peppered him with salty kisses all over his face. “H-Hey, hey, you didn’t give me an answer!”

“Forgot the question, Sheriff,” you mumbled as you squeezed him. “Ask again?”

Miguel scoffed fondly before kissing your earlobe and murmuring into your ear. “You feel like kickin’ up your feet and giving up on running, trouble?”

You grinned to yourself and returned the kiss.

“I do.”

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #atsv imagine #atsv reader insert #male reader insert #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x male reader #miguel x male reader #male!reader #atsv male!reader insert #atsv x reader #atsv x you #miguel x you #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n

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snortoborto · 20 days ago

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little one shot about The Bffs Of All Time (PB & Johnny) smonkin weed for the first time for the last day of Outsiders Week! Idk just thought it was fun. Docs formatted it kinda weird, but yk:

(Link to my AO3 at the end in case anyone wants to read my other thing lol)

It sort of stung on the way down, like a cigarette almost, only it ached a little more. Cigarettes are sharp. Crisp. They sting a little, but the smoke rolls easy on the way out. This was different. Especially the way it made me feel. I knew Darry would tear me a new one if he ever found out...but I didn't think he would, although, if we weren't careful the smell would give us away.

Two-Bit made real sure to warn us about that. "Hell, you could always tell him the two of y'all been poundin' the pavement with a pack of wild skunks, but that'll only fly for so long!" I could tell he was trying to hold back a spirited howl. He's always playing to an audience of one, even when he's got company, but the last thing we needed was to draw attention to ourselves and he knew it. "Hell! The thing is," he muffled another cackle in the crook of his elbow, "after a while, he'll probably expect yall to start bringing these guys around! That's when you know the jig is up!"

I caught a whiff of the cigarette he had pinched between his teeth and it made me think he'd been hanging around with the very same pack of skunks, himself. Maybe that's where he'd gotten his stash.

It wouldn't be a huge stretch of the imagination, Two-Bit pals around with some real wild characters. Guess it comes along with knowing just about every guy in town. Being on their good side is a different story, though. You gotta be on a guy's good side for him to risk his skin selling you grass.

At first I didn't feel all that much. Nothing really, to tell you the truth. People talk about grass like it's magic. A heaven sent gift from God and a bunch of hippie shit like that. For a second I got a little kick out of the let down. I could say I tried it and it wasn't all that great. All those flower children were just up on their soap boxes, wanting to feel like they had something special. It wasn't until I felt a grin creep across my face at the thought that I realized it was working.

"Whatchu smilin' at over there Pone?" I didn't hear Johnny at first, his smooth voice disappearing into the fog that'd settled over my mind, but a quick jab to the shoulder brought me back down to the cool dirt and sparse weeds littered across the empty lot where we'd hunkered down. "Hey, c'mon! Don't space out on me now man!"

"Oh uh..."

"Pass it, man."

I snatched the smoke from my lips, holding it up to Johnny's outstretched hand. He had this real goofy grin that I hardly ever saw on him and even in the dark, I could tell his eyes were just a little brighter than usual. It wasn't until we both started giggling like little girls that I realized I was wearing the exact same smile.

"Works, don't it?" Johnny choked back a cough and another puff of smoke floated off into the night. It was cold out, cold enough to see your breath, which made our long drags all the more impressive. Johnny passed it back and this time I was quick on the uptake.

"Yeah man...makes...makes me feel like a dragon or something." I blew a puff of smoke Johnny's way. He sorta scoffed, still grinning, to be sure. "You know, breathing smoke and all?"

"Ponyboy, you already breathe more smoke than ya' do air! You've always been a damn dragon!"

I pulled out our match book and struck one, waving it around in front of us until the flame went out. "Well it ain't official till' I start spitting fire!" Usually Johnny would've scolded me for wasting matches, and normally, I wouldn't've, but we both got a little kick out of it just that once.

"Hell...now that ya' mention it..." Johnny turned his gaze up towards the night sky, "I feel like I might just fly away if I smoke enough of this shit." He thought real hard for a second, or at least, he looked like he was.

Johnny's got this real particular look when he's thinking on something. Distinct, I guess, from the way his face usually looks. He scrunches his nose up a little, just enough for a couple wrinkles, and puts on this sorta pout in between spells of biting at his lips. He just looks scrunched up, but not in a bad way. "I don't think I'd wanna be a dragon, though." That broke us out into another spell of giggling. I could tell neither of us wanted to laugh too hard. Same as Two-Bit, who'd taken off just as soon as handing over the grass, we didn't wanna draw too much attention to ourselves, despite how late it was. Really, because of it.

After a little while, I couldn't tell you exactly how long, I settled down enough to take another drag. The grass sort of made time pass funny. I couldn't really get a grip on how long we'd been out there. Not like I'm all that great at sticking to a schedule anyway. To be honest, I couldn't tell if the grass was really slowing down time, or if it just made me stop caring about the idea all together.

Mostly I was still entertaining myself with the idea of the two of us, me and Johnny, taking off and flying around for a while. Maybe forever… we'd never come back down.

"Shit Johnny Cake, if you ain't gonna be a dragon, then what the hell would you be? A pigeon?" I knew we were just chewing the fat, but I really did wanna know. Besides, the idea was still giving us a good laugh.

"Nah man!" Johnny choked on his drag. "No one wants to be a damn pigeon! I'd be something tuff, you know? Like a hawk or an eagle...I kinda like those little black birds. Ya' know? The ones with the red stripe on the wing..." he waited for a nod so he could tell I was listening. My mind tends to wander off sometimes, even when people are talking right to me. Johnny knew that better than anyone, but I was listening that time. "I don't know, maybe an owl. Anything that can fly..."

Something about the way he said it made my heart sink, despite my buzz. I tried to disguise the sudden burble of sadness in my voice. I didn't want it rubbing off on Johnny. I never want it rubbing off on anyone, really, but I know it does. It's hard to hide sometimes. "I don't know about bein’ a bird, but it ain't too late to take up pilot training." I smiled over at Johnny, but it wasn't a big, goofy grin like before. Just a quick twitch at the corner of my mouth. More of a consolation than anything.

Johnny was thinking again, this time poking around in the dirt and picking at stray blades of grass. "We might wanna actually ride in a plane first, I guess." I tried to salvage the mood, but I had to fight back a twinge of guilt for having spoiled it in the first place.

"I wouldn't even know where to go." His head tilted back up towards the stars. By then our smoke was a little over halfway ashed and I thought about putting it out to save for later, but all of a sudden a seemingly prolific vision of Darry finding it, or smelling it, rather, in my normal pack flashed across my mind and gave me the motivation I needed to keep on smoking it down to the butt.

By then I was feeling real lightheaded and my eyelids were getting sort of heavy. Different from when you're real tired, but still just... heavy. I would've given anything for an ice cold coke.

"I'm not too convinced there'd be much out there for me anyway, Pone." I tried to think of something to say that wouldn't sound corny, and I found myself wishing Two-Bit wouldn't've taken off so soon. He always seems to stick around for longer than he’s welcome, except for when you actually need him. Still, he can get a grin out of anyone. A real one, too.

"How 'bout Hollywood? Y'know?" Smoke pooled out from my nostrils, lingering in the air for a split second as I tried to ignore the burning in my throat. "Be in the movies?" I delt Johnny a playful jab to the shoulder. He rolled his eyes and reached for the cigarette, but I caught a distinct smirk sprawled out across his face.

"You know I ain't handsome like you, Ponyboy. That's how they like 'em out there."

"Aw hell! That ain't true!" Out of the corner of my eye I caught Johnny bringing a hand up to his cheek, gingerly tracing the scar that we both knew he'd carry with him for the rest of his life, but I pretended not to notice. I knew he hated it. Hated the idea that it'd always be there, but I hardly even noticed it anymore.

We just sat like that for a while, passing the last of the grass between us, not talking, hardly even breathing between wheezes, it seemed. "Man..." Johnny finally broke the silence, flipping the burnt out butt into the dirt, "I thought this shit was supposed to make you feel good."

#outsiders week #outsiders week 2024 #the outsiders fanfic #the outsiders fanfiction #one shot #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #two bit matthews #two bit mathews #cw for weed #idk #smoking weed #ig

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abbythewritor · 1 year ago

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"Specimen." Connor x Venom reader. *2*

Description: Y/n, a girl who's been alone her whole life, decides to change when an alien from the sky corrupts her body. Learning to cope with the symbiote named Venom, the two figure out a way to help put an end to disgusting humans who pick on the weak. But what happens when a certain Android detective is on her tail as if he was attracted to her all this time?

Warnings: Drama, blood, violence, stuff from the game, you know, the usual from Detroit become human.

Other things:

-I do not own Detroit Become Human; they belong to the owners and creators of the game.

-We will be following both Markus and Connors's side because the reader is with the deviants, while Connor, you know, does his cop duties, lol.

-Y/n is a human girl who is then corrupted by Venom; if you don't know who Venom is, then I recommend watching the movie about him, then that will sum it up for you.

Enjoy the second chapter, everyone. :)

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"You just don't know when to fucking quit do ya?" It was early morning the next day, and Hank was not having it at all.

Connor showed up same time he did, as both of them were now in the elevator going to the third floor. "Sorry, lieutenant," Connor spoke, turning to him. "I have to work with you until I accomplish my mission." Hank let out a growl. "Just don't get in my way, so we won't have problems. I hate working with other people, let alone a fucking android." Connor stood there for a second, an awkward silence arising as the elevator rose.

Breaking the Silence, Connor got out a notebook containing peak information on previous cases or current cases they have gone through. "I've been digging into the crime scene photos of Ortiz's house, especially the attic when that woman took the deviant." One of Hanks's eyebrows rose. "Ok, and? Our men found no traces of her up there; what will you get out of some crime-scene photo. And to be clear, how do we know she's even a girl? It could be a guy." Connor went silent for a moment. "She couldn't have been a male, my scanners scan her body, and it's in a shape of a 21-22-year-old woman." Hanks's eyes widened slightly. "A girl in her early twenties, escaping with the deviant and knowing the ropes of fucking up crime scenes at that young age, something tells me that she's been doing this for a long time, even before she turned an adult." Connor nodded. "Correct, either she had some help taking the deviant, or this was planned before the police even found out, maybe weeks prior." Hank put his hand to his beard, thinking of different solutions. "Do ya think she had her eye on this Android before the murder?" Connor went silent briefly before scanning multiple scenarios, some matching, some not.

"That could be a possibility; past cases state that deviants have been saving other 'deviants' like they turned into superheroes or are known as guardian angels." Hank got weird chills down his spine. "Shit...so androids believe in God, lord help this fucking world..." He then sighed. "Ok...so what about the girl? Is she a guardian Angel, A Superhero, or even human?" Glancing back at the photo, Connor blinked, looking at the traces of Venom that you purposely left behind. "She is definitely a human, no doubt about that, but the traces of slime I found on the photo doesn't seem to be 'human.'" Hank chuckled, getting a nervous feeling. "So she's possessed? That ain't the creepiest shit I ever seen." "She is not possessed, lieutenant. If she were to be possessed, her eyes would have gone all black or white; her eyes were completely normal. You saw her when she escaped; she just disappeared. I saw black slime come out of her back, she was definitely Human, but the thing inside her was not. It could be a SuperPower, an alien, or a disease that she uses to help her save the deviants; my scanner has run up many hypotheses and theories, all so different. This human deviant could block my shots and teleport away from the house easily; it tells us she's more dangerous than she really is. we better be careful when furthering into this investigation." Hank was silent before nodding as the elevator door dinged at their destination.

"Yeah...and hopefully, this time, our deviant gets taken away-" "Hello, detective." He and Connor paused, looking at an unfamiliar girl wearing a fancy work suit. Her hair was H/c, tied up into a simple yet low ponytail. Her eyes were a beautiful E/c, while her height was just standing at Y/H. (Your height.) Files grasped your hands as your right hand pushed up your glasses, a beautiful smile plastering your lips. Connor was trying to scan you, but the files he read were unknown, with no background or family; it just shows that you're working for the FBI.Confused, Hank walked closer, Connor soon following behind. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?" Smiling, you stepped closer. "My name is Y/n, L'n's, and I am from the FBI." Hank's eyes widened when you showed him your badge. "So the FBI is on our backs? Christ, can this day get any fucking worse? Why would the Feds send you here, to a police department?" You hugged the files closer and followed the two toward the lieutenant's desk. "I assure you, lieutenant, I am not fond of this either, but you and I know deviants rule the streets and must be stopped. That is why I am here. The streets are filled with crime and unidentified androids, which can get more dangerous in town areas. Especially when the deviant savior is roaming the streets." Connor raised an eyebrow to you. "Deviant Savior?" You looked at him, finally getting a good look at the RK 800, as the thoughts you thought about him earlier were defiantly not wrong.

Kamski knew what he was doing when he designed the androids, and he spent extra care and time on this one.

Feeling like you were staring and gushing at him for too long, you shook your thoughts before smiling again. "Connor, right? You're the deviant sent by cyber life?" He nodded. "Yes, and I believe we're unaware of your presence, Agent L/n's." You chuckled, waving his comment off. "Please, call me Y/n; I hate the 'Agent' stuff; unsurprisingly, Fowler didn't tell you; it was a last-minute decision. If I needed to hunt down the deviants and the Deviant savior, he told me you two were the best on the field." "Yeah, well, about that..." Hank let out an annoyed sigh, his eyes glaring up to you. "If you want to start today, it will be a bit before we can catch another deviant; the one we tried to capture yesterday escaped; maybe with the Deviant Savior, your little mouth's been yappin' about."'Confused,' one of your eyebrows rose while looking behind, your thumb pointing to the back where the interrogation room would be. "You mean that deviant?" Confused, Hank looked that way to see the subject sitting there, pacing back and forth. His eyes widened, as of Connors. "Y-Yeah..." Hank mumbled, thinking he saw things, as his hands rubbed his eyes, only to see the deviant still there. "Shit...I need a vacation...ok Agent, if you are so smart, how did it get here? It teleported away from us, so there's no way he would have just walked right in here. I bet it was fucking Gavin, that stupid piece of the prick of an asshole-" "Oh, Detective Reed didn't bring him in; I did. " He turned to you, soon crossing his arms with a slight chuckle.

"You? You brought him in?" His question had you nodding, the stupid smile still plastered to your face. "I found him in an alleyway, all bloodied and beaten up. He looked rather suspicious, and when he tried to run away, I knew he was a deviant, which made me want to take him in. So, it's exactly what I did. I'm sorry to concern you, Lieutenant, I was just trying to do my Job-" "Well, next time you try to do your job, leave the 'finding deviants' to the fucking professionals, got it? You can't just walk in here, high and mighty because of your FBI, and fuck up the investigation. I'm in charge, and you will not do this again, right?" Silent momentarily, you glared at him momentarily before he turned and walked away. Connor was just silent as he turned to you. "Can you tell me more about the Deviant Savior? What does it look like? What are its intentions?" With a sigh, you turned to him while setting the files down. "You are a curious one, aren't ya? Well, I guess you could know, but it would have to be an explanation for later, let's just say, about the Deviant Savior, think of her as a Guardian Angel, but for Androids, because that's how they view her. I'm guessing bt the questions you asked me you've met her before, right?" He nodded. "Yes, we saw a female figure with the deviant you brought in. She was wearing all black and red, covering her head with a cloak. She blocked my attacks before I could get to them and teleported away. It was like she was inhuman like she wasn't a regular Woman."

"Well, that's some good thinking, Connor; saying that a Woman blocked your attacks easily seems normal, but teleporting away, just seems absurd. It's the same description everyone has been describing her, teleporting away, black goop coming from her back, heck, some even rumored that she kills her own kind." Connors' eyes widened slightly. "You mean she has killed other humans?" "Seems crazy, right? But, I'd think to know this Deviant Savior defeats all kinds, Androids or humans; it's just a matter of who's picking on the weak." "I see.." Connor looked down slightly, taking in on what you just said. "So, she could be on her own side, a Savior to all...I will investigate her further; thank you for the information, Detective. It will not go to waste." Smiling, you patted his shoulder. "Your welcome, Connor, and please, just call me Y/n; I hate the formalities-"

"Connor!" Both of you turned, seeing Hank with a new cup of coffee; he motioned Connor to follow as he turned back to you. "Will you be interrogating this Deviant with us?" "You smiled more. "Wouldn't miss it for the world. Now, you should go before your partner drags you out." He nodded to your question. "Indeed, I'll see you later....de-I mean, Y/n." Watching him turn, he headed towards Hank, who threw a file into the hands of the androids. "What did she discuss with you? nothing threatening, I hope." Connor looked back as you were checking messages on your phone. The light behind beamed onto your form, radiant hair, and skin, and self-reflected around the police department. Remembering the information he just gave you about the Deviant Savior, he turned back in front and looked at Hank. "Just some useful information about the Deviant Savior; she knows a lot about her, for a Human. She must have been investigating it for a long time." Hank scoffed. "Yeah, feds tell you that stuff for believing their lies. Look, she seems like a nice girl, but we need to keep our guard up, the feds are already shady as they go, and if we do something wrong, the case is theirs, no questions, if's, and's or but's about it. Now, look through those files and follow me, if we can get this tin-can bastard to talk, then we can look further into the investigation." As Hank walked ahead, Connor soon followed, listening to Hank's instructions as he looked through the files, quickly and efficiently. Watching the two heads that way, your mouth formed a smirk before Venom popped out of your back, Time suddenly stopping as he awakened from his nap. 'The hell just happened-WOAH. WHY ARE WE AT THE POLICE?!'

"Good morning, buddy! Nice nap?" 'Don't give me that bullshit, and tell me what's happening. I was asleep for two days, and you're already entering enemy territory? And I thought I was stupid for almost pushing that Simon Tin-Can off the building.' 'You missed a lot, I'll have to fill you in later-wait, you pushed Simon off the building?!'

'Hints the word 'Almost.' He ate my chocolate cake; it was the last one before the world went to shit. No one else would have punished him for his crimes, so I made him wet his pants a little; you should've seen his face; he looked like a constipated child, waiting for their shit to finally come out of their asshole.' Your eyes rolled. "First of all, that's a little harsh; second, Androids don't even have human boul functions, so they can't pee; and third, you need to apologize to him when we return. No wonder he was acting bossy; you started it."

'Like hell! I won't apologize to that lying piece of Tin! He shouldn't have eaten my piece of chocolate cake, then! He basically started it! It's like when you and North fought for a fucking month over some stupid Skittles that were in a crate we ravaged back at Cyberlife.'

"Ok, I had a reason to fight for those; she can't even eat; she just likes the texture in her 'mouth.'" 'Ok, and you still got revenge; Sad you didn't kill the bitch, but you still got revenge, why can't I?' "Because Simon is important to the team, you can't kill him, and I can't kill North, so we both have to stick with them, whether we like it or not." 'I hate that your fucking right all the time....why can't you be president instead of that old hag of a human?' "Because I flunked out of law school and invited your ass to come inside me to be your vessel." '......oh, I'm so sorry.' You shrugged. "No biggie, my life is way more impressive now than it would have ever been, I can't Imagine what the old hags do off camera, now are you done being a Mr grump grump, or are you going to be reasonable during the 'interogation?' 'If the decoy fucks up I blame you.' "Why?! Your the one who made it! It was North's Idea anyway!" 'I'm just saying, they are all counting on you, including her, so If you or the Robo Cop finds a way for it to give the police information, while having the thing kill itself with no one else in harms way, then you should be fine, no pressure.' Feeling him go back into your back, you took a deep breath before time started again, leaving Connor and the department being able to move again, knowing little and having no Memrory of what just happened. Looking at your coffee, you sipped it one last time, as you grasped it more into your hands, yourself getting off the desk you were leaning on.

Hopefully, thinking as you walked, this decoy Venom has made will do the trick for the police because If that RK 800 finds out this is all a rouse, you and Jerhico might be discovered, and Venom or yourself might be separated and arrested, or worse, even killed. So this operation must go smoothly, all of the androids and Jericoh are all counting on you...because...

'You're the Deviant savior after all.'

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"Why did you do it...? Why did you kill him?" It was investigation time, and Hank had been trying to talk to your decoy for hours, but nothing coming out of its mouth. Venom and you designed it so that only Connor could speak to it. He was beside you, as another person you didn't recognize was leaning against the wall, closer to the non-see-through glass, the three of you carefully listening in. "How long were you in the attic? Who was that girl who took you away?" No answer, just a long, filled noise of silence. Hank couldn't get anything out of the thing as the deviant kept looking at the table, his hands cuffed to the metal below him. "Why did you take the girl's hands? Why did you want to run away? Scared? Scared that we might have killed ya? Because you killed that man, and your fleeing with her might have something to do with it." Again, nothing. The silence started to piss Hank off, and he cursed under his breath before getting up from the chair and exiting the room. 'If he isn't a stupid, brainless human, he would have him talking by now.'

'Be quiet; he tried his best.' 'Yes, he did, and we designed this stupid decoy for only the Rk 800 bastard to talk to; this old hag isn't going to do shit.' 'Just trust in the process, Venom; Connor will soon ask questions, I know it. That's why Cyber life brought him in, remember?' 'Yeah, brought him in to help; I highly doubt these shit of humans would even let him near the decoy, let alone ask him some questions.' 'I know you're concerned for Connor, but he will get the decoy to talk; after all, if it destroys itself, we programmed it to tell Connor all he needs to know about the RA9, the I AM ALIVE sign, and even why Carlo's was killed by him, all we need is patience...' '...Fine, but if all of this blows over, you owe me another chocolate cake at the cafe ten blocks from here, got it?' You smiled. 'Got it.'

Eying the lieutenant more through the walls, he entered the room, and you heard some grumbles coming from his mouth. "We're wasting our time interrogating a machine where we'll get nothing out of it!" He snarled, sitting in the chair Beside you, as the guy on the wall chuckled. "You could always try ruffing it up a little; after all, it's not human." 'You disgust me; I'd rather eat someone than ruff them up; it makes it easier. Besides, androids have a wonderful minty aftertaste. ' Glaring at him harshly, you felt sick with his comment before Connor looked at him. "Androids don't feel pain. You would only damage it-" "And that wouldn't make it talk either; it would make it more freaked out than it already is."You added, looking back to the decoy. "Besides, putting more stress on the deviant will make it self-destruct; we don't want the whole building to go Boom, Boom." The man kicked off the wall, glaring harshly at you. "Ok, smartasses..." Stopping, his arms crossed again. "What should we do, then?" 'Throw you out the window, you human piece of trash.' As you and Connor looked at each other, you looked back at the man. "Connor could try questioning it; he was sent here for that reason. And if it doesn't work, I can try; it's my case, too." "Oh, I-i'm sorry, I didn't know the fed's own everything now; if this is your case, by all means, send the fucking coke can in; it's not like Hank and I have an opinion after all." 'Oh, there's always an option to eat and devour your bones.' "For fuck sake, enough, Gavin, roughing this guy up won't help; these two, that's all that's left; you two do on, the suspect is all your's." "Smiling, you stood up and looked at Connor. "Wanna interrogate him together? He might have a better chance of getting him to talk than with one person." Thinking for a moment, Connor looked at the deviant. "That might not be a bad idea, detective; let's go." Nodding, you followed, exiting the door and entering the interrogation side. The decoy immediately saw you, as your pointer finger quickly went to your mouth, wanting it to be quiet.

As Connor sat in front of the Devaint, he began to analyze him, every single movement, inch, and tech this android had on him. He even looked into his wounds. You went to the corner, leaning against the wall as your arms crossed, Venom reading his stress level at 35%. 'His levels are steady; we need the Robocop to get our decoy to 100% stress level for it to talk; we'll let it destroy itself, right?' You nodded. 'Yeah, because why would we give them more evidence? We don't want them too far ahead or too close to our tail; let's keep this thing simple and see what Connor can do.'

The file at the end of the table was now in front of your decoy as Connors's hands opened it, revealing a familiar picture of Carlos to the deviant. "Remember him? It's Carlos Ortiz, Stabbed 28 times." He flipped to the next picture; I AM ALIVE. "That is written on the wall with his blood." His stress level rose as Connors's head tilted slightly. "I detect an instability in your program; it can trigger an unpleasant feeling, like fear in humans." The decoy was still silent but looked up slightly to Connor, to you, then back to the table. ""You've been silent since they've arrested you. If you don't cooperate, they'll do things the hard way. Is that what you want?" The deviant's stress rose more, now at 43%. "You don't seem to understand the situation. You killed a human; they'll tear you apart if you don't say something." The stress level at 47%. "I'm here to help you...but you gotta trust me." Connor spoke, leaning more toward the deviant. "All I want is to get you out of here." He stated as the deviant's head looked up, himself hesitantly looking around. "W-What are t-they going to do to me..?" Connor was silent, alerting the deviant to freak out as he looked at Connor. "They're going to destroy me, aren't they?" "They're going to destroy you to look at your bio components; they have to if you don't tell us anything in use." "Why did you tell them she found me? Why coudln't you have her just take me to a safer place?" "She, in Meaning the girl who took you, who is she? What were her intentions with you?" The defiant was silent, but he answered “Nothing terrible to us, but to humans, she hates, she felt the same hatred towards my owner as I...she wanted to save me; she wanted me to have freedom; she was going to take me to a place where all androids Roam-free, where all called to RA9." "RA9… that symbol was written all over the shower walls in the bathroom. Was that what you're doing?" The deviant glared up at him. "It's the only way for him to see my message, my prayer....humans….they must be stopped." 'Damn it. He's getting nowhere; he's only at a stress level of 50%. He needs to be 100%. Can you do something? This Tin Can is getting me pissed."

You kicked yourself off the wall, grabbing a file from your coat as you stood beside Connor, slamming it to the table, the decoy jumping slightly. "28 STAB WOUNDS!" you snarled, both of your hands going to the table as you leaned closer to the decoy, face getting more irritated. "That's how many times you killed your owner, 28 times; if you really wanted to be free, then for murder, we would charge you the same for a human man, life to prison or sentence to death; you will get the same treatment if you don't speak. You hear me?! WHO IS THE DEVIANT SAVIOR? WHO IS RA9?!" You were very close to the deviant's face, his stress level skyrocketing from 50% to 80%. Venom lowered your voice slightly as the loudness and the deepness echoes the room. It shocked Connor slightly; his eyes looked around to see if anyone else was in the room, but no one was. Just you, and your incredible voice change. Gavin whistled behind the glass, shivers descending his spine while looking at a shocked but impressed Hank. "For a fed...she has good skills, scared the suspect and the tin can to death." Gulping, Hank leaned towards the glass more, his skin getting goosebumps. "She didn't just scare them...Holy shit... I-i think I might have just shit myself..." “what’s wrong Hank? Can’t take a little puberty?” Hank glared to him. “That was not puberty, smart ass, that…” Looking back to you, your eyes dug into the deviants soul, as a dark aroama formed around you, giving the interrogation room a different feeling from before. “That was inhuman.”

"You're not going to talk?" You asked, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you lifted up from the table, soon crossing your arms. "Probe his memory, Connor." The deviant's eyes widened as he looked at you, shocked. “How do you-is that is necessary? He answered my questions perfectly-“ “Just to it, Connor!” “But I-“ “DO IT!” The deviant face shot up, looking at the two of you now as his eyes were filled with fear. “W-What?! N-No, please, please don't let me relive what I've been through, no, NO, NO-" Connor grabbed hold of his head with both hands, a shit ton of information transferring from the deviant to him. After a lot of screaming from the decoy and around 15 minutes of containing said information, Connor was finished; as he quickly let go, the deviant's stress was entirely at 100 percent. Not seeing to investigate further, Connor looked at you, slightly overwhelmed by what he saw. “I have the information; we got all we need." Sensing some concern or remorseful emotion coming from him, you nodded, soon hopping off the table. "Let's get out of here then; we're done; take him back." Hank was hesitant at first but soon built up a little courage and got up from his Chair, Gavin sending his men in there to take the suspect back. But, as the bunch of you were about to leave, a loud bang arose, multiple actually.

*BANG!*

"What the hell?!" Hank went into the room and everyone turned to see the deviant banging his head against the wall, trying to kill himself directly. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IDIOTS?! STOP HIM!!" Gavin ordered, he and his men tried to hold the deviant back, but the deviant just kept slamming his head, as blue blood spread all across the table.

"H-He's too strong! I can't stop him!!!" Yelled an officer, who was still trying to stop it, but it kept going until his breathing and wiring were no more.

Slamming his head for the last time, he face-planted dead onto the metal surface, more blue blood escaping, splattering onto Hank and other officers.

You and Connor weren't surprised by this, but everyone else in the room felt goosebumps and vomit coming up from their throats. The deviant showing no signs of life. “W-What the hell-Just happened?" Hanked asked, trying to get his breath, as you simply looked at him, no emotion showing. "He killed himself because of high stress when Connor probed his memory. It's a way to get information about what happened, but instead of Connor getting it, they both got it, which brought anxiety and stress to the Suspect. That action was necessary since he wasn't talking or giving both of us helpful information; he got it himself. Now, we can really start the investigation; we're done here; if you'd excuse me, gentlemen, I will report to Fowler the incident." And with that, you left, leaving everyone but Connor in utter confusion and shock. But Connor wasn't just going to let you leave, as he followed you right out, Running to you. "Detective!" Stopping, you turned to Connor before smiling. "Connor, I told you to call me Y/n-" "How did you know I can probe Deviants memory? That's a tactic only Androids know." Not surprised that he asked this question, you sighed.

"I work with Androids, the Feds higher all kinds of different android Ranks, and my partners, just happen to be Androids." You lied, Connors LED turning yellow as he processed the information. "You knew the Probe technique would work; why didn't you tell me we needed to use it before going there?" Chuckling, your head shook."Connor, it was a last-minute decision, we were getting no answers from the deviant, and we had no time to discuss the matter; it seems that you did it right away when I asked, but you didn't have to do it. For the future and as a learner of experience, if you want things to work when having a partner or working with someone that's not an android, communication is something that I should have done. Another is standing up for what's right or wrong; if you thought probing the enemy's memory was a bad idea, it would have been wise to say something. Wrong feelings in dire situations can lead to good actions, but good feelings in dire situations can lead to bad decisions. Do you understand?" he simply nodded. "Yes, I think so." "Good, I know you and Hank might not trust me because I'm FBI, but the three of us have the same mission on our hands, to do what is right and to find the Deviant Savior, so we all have to work together whether we like it or not, so, I will take my leave and head to fowlers office, I will see you both when another case pulls up." Connor nodded. "Will do detective!” Turning with a sigh, you pointed to him. “We’ll work on that too, because my name is not detective Connor…”

“It’s Y/n.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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jim-fetter-illustrations · 2 years ago

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6 Fingered Human Beings!

Don't know about most people but I found this most extraordinary.

Did you know there are human beings living all over the world 'RIGHT NOW' that have five fingers and a thumb?

Making that 6 digits on each hand?

And it's not a birth defect, it's their genetics to have 6 fingers on each hand, and many have 6 toes too!

There are detailed recent discoveries at the archaeological sites of Gobekli Tepe and Karahan Tepe that suggest most of the remains of an unknown, extraordinarily ancient civilization still lie buried beneath the soil of eastern Turkey (as in, possibly 13,000 years ago – three times as long ago as the building of the Great Pyramid).

And they "ALL" have six digits on each hand, the whole population, like that's what was normal for human beings to have?

What if we 5 fingered people are the mutants, the oddballs?..... (Lol)

There are numerous carvings of people with six fingers throughout history too!

If you mention six-fingered people today, most might think you smoked to much weed.

But six fingered people have been observed throughout history – sometimes the condition was revered, other times feared by organized religion, but in both cases usually within mythical or supernatural frameworks.

Ya know, there are fringe researchers in alternative archaeology, and Biblical literalism that have suggested that these Biblical ‘giants’ – people with six-fingers – might have been members of a lost civilization, or offspring of angelic beings like Angels.

This comes from a couple of passages in the Old Testament referring to a race of giants that lived before (and after) the the so-called great flood.

Now, If you’re an academic you can pick away at pieces of this, because it’s tough to start talking about hybrids and gods and the supernatural and be taken seriously by most people who've been indoctrinated as to what the norms of society are suppose to be, and anything outside of that norm is poppycock.

I like to think of myself as a goodwill ambassador from the lunatic fringe and I just try to piece together this information best I can...…I think there’s something to this, it is well beyond coincidence. I think if any rational person, strapped down to a chair and forced to listen to me talk about this for an hour, will say ‘there’s something to this story, I don’t know what it is but it seems like there’s something here".

Just sayin, not everything is as it seems, there are cracks in the world view, and down in those cracks it ain't the norm your living by a long shot!

The good news is you can Stop Worrying about life, Because There Probably is some sort of an Afterlife if any of that stuff in those cracks crawls out and ends you!

#6 fingers #fringe

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leave-her-a-tome · 5 years ago

Note

You’re the only active writeblr for miles around! Know any good blogs to follow for wips to follow/writeblr community content?

Me?? I feel like I'm constantly on semi-hiatus bc of school but good to know I look active!

I actually made a list of most (but not all) writing blogs I follow.

Oh boi here we go:

@mayvinwrites @fusewrites @confunderewrites @nicholedean @christinawritesfiction @h-brook-writes @ginger-le-gay @justawritingaid @milkyway-writes @writinginslowmotion @michaelbjorkwrites @hannahs-creations @word-by-word @every-book-has-a-secret @alcego-writes @lordkingsmith @ajbrooks-writes @nkta-ink @pens-swords-stuff @writing-and-nutmeg @dqwrites @gingerly-writing @bexminx @crowandmoonwriting @etjwrites @thel3tterm @ofinscriptions @thewriteblrarchives @ren-c-leyn @kaatiba @ink-flavored @tenacious-scripturient @radley-writes @madammuffins @candy687 @woodhouse-jay @writing-in-the-grave @writinginrosecoloredglasses @quilloftheclouds @homesteadchronicles @m-l-rio @waterfallwritings @reininginthefirewriting @adenhamcreations @abalonetea @mvcreates @igotablankpage @katiehahnbooks @scottishhellhound @i-rove-rock-n-roll @maple-writes @bookenders @rosemarymilktea @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword @heywriters @reeseweston @caffeinewitchcraft @lady-redshield-writes @ariaste @dreamsofbooksandmonsters @writings-of-a-narwhal @dogwrites @scintillation-of-the-scribblers @jaywrites101 @vhum @pinespittinink @madmoonink @drowsy-quill @kit-tells-a-story @writingwithhotchocolate @elaynab-writing @esoteric-eclectic-eccentric @bookishdiplodocus @annelaurant @claudethecloudqueen @siarven @just-a-jumbled-writer @gottaenjoythelittlethingzz @brynwrites @ofvisitorsthefairest @wolvesofarcadia @crown-of-ice-and-broken-seaglass @thebloodstainedquill @kiramartinauthor @incandescent-creativity @inky-duchess @kalis-scribbles @supersaiyansadie @cryptids-and-starlight @no-url-ideas-tho @ratracechronicler @griffinwriting @romanthewriter @zwergis-spilledink @trying-vee @toboldlywrite @jaimistoryteller @yvesdot @mademoiselleink @shaelinwrites @albatris @maramahan @cogesque @raevenlywrites @writerofscribbles @infinitelyblankpage @silvertalonwriteblr @wordsnstuff @inkedinserendipity @writeblrconnections @elliewritesstories @fenrir-kin @theliteraryarchitect @roselinproductions @writerlydays @she-who-fights-and-writes @urrrrica @ocdevelopmentstuff @littlelovedsilverlining @howtofightwrite

@katekarl actually put together a Google sheet that has like 350 writeblrs with their wip information as well, so check that out!

As for wips, I love @radley-writes 's HENCH, @sunshineomeara 's The Last Hope of the Dead, @abalonetea 's Groundhog Day, @kaatiba ‘s Rivener, @i-rove-rock-n-roll ‘s Icarus, @etjwrites ‘s Thorunn, @dreamsofbooksandmonsters ‘s Crown of Vapor and Dust, and I’m currently reading @thatsmybluefondue ‘s finished wip: “It’s Not the Zombie Apocalypse”

Hope that helped!:)

#eris anwers #ya know these ain't all by a long shot lol #i'm not as familiar with incandescent-creativity's SOUL but i like that two #and also lady-reshield-writes has an awesome wip called armored soul #there's so many wips i don't know about too #i need to stalk these blogs a lot more #writeblr friends

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no-psi-nan · 2 years ago

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A while ago, a friend suggested writing Saikechi with ASMR as the theme, and I started on a lil one-shot but then stopped when I realized I'd have to write a truly big huge-long Akechi monologue to do it the way I'd planned. So instead I put that headcanon into Intimate Variety lol.

But I did write 1k of it, and it seems a shame to just delete it, so I'm gonna post it here for anyone who wants to read what there is of it, plus my notes on what was going to happen next. I'd say it's T-rated, basically just talking lol.

ASMR Sleepover Time

"Chiyopipi, Chiyopipi… Here's the bottom line: if ya wouldn't do it with your momma, it sure af ain't platonic."

"Well, I've heard people say that massages are a romantic thing, but isn't giving your mom a massage pretty normal??"

"I mean, yeah, platonic affection is a hella gray zone and it's different for like almost everybody. But purposely making somebody feel intense physical pleasure ain't it, chief– that's where I think most people gotta draw the line."

"I don't know, Miko-chan, I still think it can be platonic! There's nothing weird about whispering in someone's ear or petting their hair, right? Whether it happens to be an ASMR trigger has nothing to do with it!"

"Babygirl, would it be platonic to rub your buddy's feet if you knew they had a foot fetish?"

"That's different!! That's a– you know! Totally different from ASMR!"

[You guys sure like to discuss weird topics, good grief.]

"Oh hey Kusuo~! Wait, maybe you can settle this debate, babe–"

[I am not getting involved in this conversation.]

"Did I hear someone mention a debate? Oh, hello Kusuo-kun, Miko-chan, and Yumehara-san! My apologies, I couldn't help but overhear some sort of stirring discussion on this corner, though I haven't yet cottoned on to the particular topic under consideration. Would you be so amenable as to restate it for me?"

(Akechi admits to having experienced ASMR before but immediately changes the topic to some of the research on the subject. Saiki thinks to himself that ASMR sounds like a lot of weird bullshit and doesn't really have any interest in the matter, especially since it probably can't affect him.)

[Akechi Touma.]

[Why the hell are you calling my house this late at night?]

"Oh, hello Kusuo-kun! What a pleasure to hear your voice, I fully expected that you'd immediately hang up immediately upon being handed the phone before even discovering the purpose of my call!"

[I still might. What a pain… I was seriously climbing into bed right now.]

"Kusuo-kun, by any chance, are you using your telepathy right now? It's only that I'm hearing your voice in my head quite perfectly without any of the mild audio distortion typical of cellular networks!"

[ …Maybe.]

[Never mind that. Why are you whispering?]

"To be perfectly honest, it is actually my de facto bedtime right now as well! As my mother has settled in to sleep in the room next door, I thought it would be prudent to maintain a more discrete volume of speech so as to not disturb her slumber."

[Again: why the hell are you calling my house this late at night?]

"Oh Kusuo-kun, it is simply that I currently find myself well-situated under a set of lovely clean sheets and my favorite weighted blanket, accompanied of course by a choice selection of stuffed animals. With the enforced darkness of my blackout curtains and the pleasantly cool temperature of my bedroom, these are indeed optimal sleeping conditions. And yet despite all this, I find myself unable to succumb to Morpheus' grip."

[ … ]

[Good grief, what do you expect me to do about that?]

[I don't have any special powers that can put people to sleep. The best I can do is play a lullaby through telepathy.]

"While I will be the first to admit that a telepathic lullaby does sound quite relaxing, it isn't particularly what I had in mind as the aim of this phone call. Now, I'm sure you are quite impatient to discover the objective of this communication, and I am happy to inform you that my motivation is twofold. First, I have lately been concerned about the quality of rest you've been enjoying lately, ever since your powers were temporarily deleted and summarily restored. And I am very certain that you are currently rolling your eyes and are about to rebuke me for interrupting that very sleep, but please allow me to elaborate. It is my understanding that the range of your telepathy has increased somewhat, causing you to hear more peripheral mental voices than before. This, in turn, must be creating more difficulties in winding down to an appropriate relaxation state for restorative sleep. The seemingly obvious solution would be to wear your germanium ring to bed, forestalling the thoughts of your neighbors and family. However, both you and I are aware that completely cancelling your telepathy is the source of great anxiety for you, due to your learned hypervigilance. Despite logically knowing that no enemies are in pursuit, no amount of reasoning will allow you to relax when you are experiencing nothing but your thoughts in the lonely darkness of your room. This is why I propose this late-night conversation. I expect it will be more comforting and familiar for you to hear at least one other voice while wearing the germanium ring, hopefully easing your anxiety to the point where you can more easily drop into a restorative sleep. If this experiment is successful, it could prove to be a simple method for alleviating your fatigue."

[ … ]

[And the second reason?]

" … …Well. It is simply that I would like to talk with you, Kusuo-kun. You are my very best friend, and yet we rarely have opportunities to 'chit-chat' one-on-one, due to our schooling, your rather large social circle, and your tendency towards introversion. I hypothesize and hope that this hour and method may serve as an effective way to catch up and enjoy each other's company."

[ … ]

"I have seen evidence of happiness in you when we share space, however reluctant you may be to organize such occasions yourself. In fact, it is quite fortuitous that your friends are so familiar with your reclusive nature that they do not take offense at your distaste of initiating encounters. Less understanding companions might truly believe that you do not desire their presence."

[ … ]

[You have a point. What a pain… ]

[Maybe I should ask my friends to hang out sometimes. Instead of waiting to be strung along.]

"Indeed! You may even discover that being the organizer enables you to select the time, setting, and duration of each encounter to your preference, instead of remaining at the mercy of whoever roped you into the encounter."

[Alright, alright. I get it.]

[We can talk for a little while. See if your idea works.]

[I could seriously use more sleep… ]

"Marvelous! I am always delighted in your willingness to challenge yourself for the benefit of your loved ones. Such an admirable trait~"

[ … ]

"But I digress!

(Akechi calls Saiki on the phone because he knows clairvoyance can be tiring, especially if Saiki also has to use his telepathy long distance. Saiki is annoyed at first because he had just been about to go to bed and get some rest, but Akechi suggests that he use his germanium ring since he's going to be awake anyways, and rest a bit that way. Saiki agrees, possibly because Akechi's whispers pique his interest, and quickly realizes that having only Akechi's whispering voice in his head feels really really nice. The silence of the ring is usually too complete for his comfort, so having Akechi affectionately talk his ear off gives the perfect level of noise. Saiki finds himself experiencing ASMR and shivering with delight, actually humming out loud to let Akechi know he was listening or to respond to a prompt, and taking a while to respond to more complex questions because he's so relaxed and drifty.

Akechi catches on quickly and makes sure to minimize the audience participation part of his rant, monitoring Saiki's state of relaxation by the amount of time between breaths and the tone of his hums. When he notices Saiki drifting off to sleep, he smiles and his topic drifts to how much he loves and appreciates his best friend and that he hopes Saiki has sweet dreams, though he avoids using Saiki's name so as to not wake him up. When he hears Saiki's deeply asleep, he lets his voice trail off, then he places the phone on speaker next to his pillow and hugs a teddy bear and falls asleep, both of them comforted by each other's quiet breaths.

Akechi wakes when Saiki does, wishing him a good morning and yawning. He says he slept better than usual and hopes Saiki did too. Saiki grudgingly admits that he slept very well, and that maybe Akechi's phone call was a good thing after all. Akechi tries to fish for more info to see if his ASMR theory is correct, but Saiki dodges his attempts. However, Saiki does say that he wouldn't mind having another "sleepover" and Akechi immediately jumps on the opportunity, getting him to agree to a real sleepover quite soon. During the sleepover, Saiki gets to enjoy Akechi's whispers close up, along with the gentle touch of his hand combing through his hair. And then Akechi admits that hearing Saiki's voice in his head often gives him a similar ASMR experience, so Saiki later [reads] him a book while they snuggle, and Akechi shivers delightedly against Saiki's side. )

#nopsi fic #saikechi #akechi touma

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dirtywratsimz · 2 years ago

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Previous Post....

It has been way too long since I've hung out with my girl, Tiff, so we went out for a bit...

Because of her programming prowess, Tiff has quite a bit of money saved up, around 21k. And frankly, I'm tired of living in this dump. Tiff has never complained, so I'm complaining for the both of us.

Also, if you're wondering why Captain was angry in the first shot, it's because he keeps rolling around in puddles and garbage strewn around the house and Tiff has to clean it up and yells at him afterwards. Neither of them are having the best days of their lives, tbh.

Fed him a treat just so he doesn't think that Tiff hates him.

Anyways, here's what I did. I literally only redecorated the living room since that's the only room we ever really use. I get really impatient trying to build in these types of games, so I tried to do it as quickly as possible. I like it though; it looks really cozy.

It's a start. I laughed at myself because while I was decorating, I was thinking that we should probably think about moving sometime soon, but idk I like living here, and I know Tiff doesn't give a shit what her house is like. She spends most of her time on the computer.

"Buddy, I love you and all, but you can't be rolling around in shit and jumping all over the new setup..."

He doesn't gaf.

We stan Captain on this blog.

Like I mentioned before, I hate building in games like the Sims. Always have, even back when I was playing 2 in like the 2nd grade. But in 4 specifically, I despise empty lots since the worlds feel so lifeless to begin with. Forgotten Hollow has that one empty lot, so I wanted to fill it with a cool vampire bar. I found this really nice one on the gallery, and it fits right in with the rest of the architecture.

...it had to be Bear Night, though. Tiff was getting really tense and annoyed by this lady, lol. She just cannot have a good time, ever.

Seriously: bring back the good ol' days of smoking in public bars. Also...

"What the FUCK are you doing?!" says the bear.

Tiff got fucking hammered off those Plasma Janes, so it was time to scat. We live right next door which is pretty tight.

That's it for this post. I only had a couple hours of freetime before I had to start getting ready for work, so couldn't do a whole lot. Honestly, I really want to start doing a story with Tiff and Markovic and make some new characters, as well, but that means I'd have to write it and I ain't got time for that rn. Someday soon, though.

I'm also going through the process of editing the hoods, making-over townies, etc so that the populace looks a little more in line with the VTM theme I'm going for here. That shit's gonna take a minute, but how do you eat an elephant, ya kno?

#mine #tiff #legacy 1 #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #s4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 story #ts4 vampires #vampire #vampires #vtm #nosferatu #simblr #occult #sims 4 screenshots #simstober

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brattyfics · 4 years ago

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drunk dialing | writer wednesday

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!OFC

Summary: Angel's ex-girlfriend gives him a call one night when she has too much to drink.

Tags: Angst, Toxic!Angel, Unresolved Feelings, Alcohol Consumption.

Word Count: 1.5k

1:16.

“She doesn’t need anymore.”

The words barely register over the hustle and bustle of the packed sports bar. Basketball reruns play on the television, old school r&b blaring over the loudspeakers. The bartender takes one look at Summer and the way her frame is slumped over just slightly, the way her dark brown eyes have glazed over, and nods his agreement. From their places on barstools, her friends thank him, not-so-subtly sneaking glances at Summer from the corners of their eyes. She can’t bring herself to care. They don’t understand. She’s drowning in the liquor but also an ocean of misery. The waves steadily pull her down further at each turn.

No one understands, so she takes special care to savor the dark amber liquid as it burns her from the inside out.

2:29.

Last call in the state of California is 1:30 am for any establishment that sells alcohol. Businesses like the bar that so graciously hosts Summer and her friends can stay open later, and they usually do. Most patrons abide by state law, using the time to sober up by stuffing themselves with greasy foods-- pizza, fries, chicken wings. Instead of drinking, they make plans to come back and meet up with the strangers they have become fast friends with or say goodbye to their college buddies in town for the weekend.

If You Think You’re Lonely Now plays as patrons began to shuffle out. Summer hums along.

If you think you’re lonely now, huh

Wait until tonight, girl (If you think you’re lonely now)

I’ll be long gone (You just wait until tonight girl)

And you’ll never find another man that’ll treat ya’ right

And then there are the lonely.

The ones at the bar every evening without fail, using it as home in place of the one they lack. They slide the servers bribes, crisp and crumpled twenty dollar bills across the bar top. She watches with tired eyes as they slide shot glasses back in exchange. Summer thinks she would try her luck if it weren’t for the mother hens watching over her with careful eyes. Her friends-- Aliyah, Jasmine, and Nia already think she’s a ticking time bomb. The last thing she needs to do is give them the ammunition they need to call her an alcoholic.

3:34.

It takes a while for the bar to clear out. Nia has to use the bathroom at the last minute, complaining about it being filthy when she returns. Jasmine mutters an obviously while Summer pitifully sips the last remnants of her drink. The melted ice cubes ruin it, she can’t taste the bourbon at all, but every little drop counts, right?

Summer refuses the hand offered to her by Aliyah as they stumble out into the parking lot. Aliyah hovers with her arms poised to catch her just in case. Nia absentmindedly plays a card game on her phone behind them, and Jasmine heads up the group, her keys noisily jingling as she swings them back and forth. She’s the designated driver and the only one sober enough to drive.

It’s a typical summer night in California, dry but cold and windy, so they quicken their pace. With every step, Bobby Womack’s crooning is stuck on replay in Summer’s mind. The lyrics resonate with her…

When it’s cold outside who are you holding?

...and she’s about to voice her thoughts when she sees it.

“Is that a phone booth?!” The words come out more hysterical than probably they should. Sure, it’s been like ten years since she’s seen one in person, and she didn’t know they still existed, so she’s a little excited and a lot drunk, but it’s just a phone booth. One that’s narrow and brightly lit in the midnight blue of the night. Aliyah, who forgot her glasses at home, squints at the white blob until she can make out its shape.

“I think it is.” She sounds a little mystified herself, and that’s all the encouragement Summer needs in her state. One minute she’s cheesing wide, and the next, she’s sprinting across the street towards the phone booth, giggling and tugging her short dress down the whole way.

The girls yell after her, but she tunes them out, snatching the ice cold phone off the hook. She’s even more enamored when she pulls the heavy metal to her ear and hears the dial tone.

It works!

High heels click loudly behind her. Summer turns just in time to see the girls come to a stop behind her, out of breath and unamused. Jasmine leans over and rests her forearms on her knees. “What the hell?” She hisses, glaring daggers at her friend. Summer ignores her, punching the chunky silver buttons like she’s in a trance. Even inebriated, she knows them by heart. One number after the other, she dials the one person she knows she shouldn’t.

Angel Reyes.

She vaguely registers her friends telling her to put the phone down. She knows that she’s making a mistake, but the armor she wears to protect herself from the world is too heavy. She strips it away, her inhibitions lowered. All she wants is him.

Ring...

“She’s been drinking. We should do something.” Sweet Aliyah is always the voice of reason. Nia sounds bored and over the situation. “This is so dumb.” Jasmine tugs on her arm. “Come on. You’re drunk.”

Ring…

“There’s no harm in a phone call, right?” Aliyah says, but her voice is shaky. She’s wrong, and they all know it.

Ri--

“Hello?” The reception is shitty, and the volume in the earpiece low, but with one word, Summer’s hooked all over again. She doesn’t say anything for several moments, the sound of her harsh breathing the only thing that transmits. There’s a long, tense moment where Summer tries to convince herself to hang up, but then Angel says, “Baby, is this you?” She hates the sob she releases into the phone from the simple words. She draws her bottom lip into her mouth to quiet the sound. Her girlfriends freeze, unsure of what to do.

“Y-yeah, it’s me.”

“You been drinking, mami?”

“Maybe.” Summer sways, and Aliyah is there, using her arm to prop her best friend up. It’s a silent act of support, a reminder that Angel isn’t and shouldn’t be the center of her universe. She has supportive friends, a loving family. She doesn’t need him.

“Where you at? I’ll come get you.” She doesn’t need him, but she’s tempted to tell him to meet her back at Jasmine’s place. It’s only a ten-minute ride from his place, five minutes if he speeds the way she knows he does.

Speeds the way he did when she caught him at Vicki’s with Adelita. He had been acting shady for months, whispering on the phone, keeping odd hours. She had felt like a crazy woman when she put the tracker on his bike, but her intuition was validated when she saw his location. She followed him, expecting to find him with one of Vicki’s girls. Instead, she found him there with Adelita and her protruding belly, rubbing it with his large, ringed hands like a doting father. Like they were some happy fucking family.

Summer had nearly lost her mind, knocking over furniture, breaking bottles from behind the bar. Luckily for them, EZ caught her wrist and restrained her. The sight of Angel shielding that woman, protecting her when he hadn’t protected her feelings, was ingrained in her mind. Realizing that all the men she regarded highly and looked up to as older brothers and uncles had been lying, and helping Angel hide his cheating, was something she would never forget.

Being betrayed like that should have been enough to make her stop loving him, but... it just wasn’t. Summer often found herself wondering what was wrong with her. Why did she pine after a man that hurt her so badly? Sure, Angel’s handsome, and funny, and sweet, and really, really good in bed, but he’s not good. Not for Summer.

She sniffles into the phone, “I don’t want you to. I don’t want you.” She tries to will the words to be true, but the tears gliding down her face tell a different story.

“Why call me then?”

“Too much liquor.”

He snorts out a laugh but then pauses as if considering something. “Yeah, me too.” Summer swears she can make out the sound of Gilly shouting something in the background, but maybe she’s so drunk that she’s imagining things. Maybe she’s making it all up in her head because she longs for their relationship back. She always finds herself back at square one when it comes to Angel, wishing things could go back to how they were, that she could erase all the bad and keep all the good.

You see the night's the time when the needs come out

When your needs come out to breathe

And the jonesing starts and there ain't no way you can sleep, ooh

“You hurt me.” Summer doesn’t bother to hide her bitterness. She knows Angel won’t acknowledge the words because the only pain he can recognize is his own.

“Summer, why are you calling?” His voice has an edge to it this time. He’s daring her to make a decision, pick a side. Either she wants to be with him, or she doesn’t. His gruff tone, the callousness with which he says the words should make her want to turn away from him.

Instead, it makes her heart lurch.

She feels desperate to hold onto him, so she says, “'Cause I-I...I love you.”

Notes: The prompt is from @autumnleaves1991-blog Weekly Writing Challenge. Summer Walker - Drunk Dialing...LODT & Bobby Womack - If You Think You’re Lonely Now inspired this fic. Let's all pretend you don't have to pay to use a pay phone lol. Do you like to see moodboards/covers for fics? Please let me know. Hope you all enjoy!

General Taglist:

@woahitslucyylu @briannab1234 @sheeshgivemeabreak @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked @angelreyesgirl @blessedboo @glimmerglittergirl @apantherinmypastlife @brownsugarcoffy @marvelmaree @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @thewarriorprincessxo @sadeyesgf @pearlkitten33 @imanerdychubbyqueen @literaturefeen @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @everyhowlmarksthedead @yourwonkywriter @trulysuccubus @sparklemichele @luckyharley1903

Angel Reyes:

@claytoncardenasbabymama @adaydreamaway08

#writer wednesday #mayans mc #angel reyes #angel reyes x oc #angel reyes x black!oc

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sweetescapeartist · 3 years ago

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DBS COLORING BOOK CHAPTER 74 REVIEW

*spoilers* I liked this chapter in isolation.

*spoilery spoilers* I dislike this chapter when comparing it to other chapters.

Here's the battle Vegeta fans have been waiting for...! (Glad I lowered my greatly expectations)

First, let's talk about use of panels real quick. When there is action, Toyo has done better and uses about 6 panels max to convey the fight. But when there is dialogue, he uses too many panels. Like 7 to 9 panels on one page. That is too much for dialogue. And he has pointless reaction shots often.

It begins with the axolotl inspired Sugarians leaving their fishbowl homes through cleaning-tube roadways. I like their aquarium-like city and their buildings.

And here we are on page 2 with the Toyotaro dialogue. 😒 How can I tell? Compare it to Dragon Ball and you can easily tell the difference between Toriyama's dialogue & Toyotaro's dialogue. (Toriyama has been more focused with working on the DBS movies. I highly doubt he contributes as much to the manga as some fans believe.)

Vegeta sounds like Mr. Satan when calling fusion and cloning "tricks" lol. And no, I doubt Vegeta's Forced Spirit Fission would work on Granolah. Granolah split himself in 2 with a technique. It is still all Granolah & he hasn't absorbed anyone. Forced Spirit Fission is useless here.

Granolah sure is chatty again after he kept saying how he really really wants to kill these Saiyans. Vegeta tells him he parted ways with Freeza and he is an enemy now, as to which Granolah laughs. Granolah thinks Vegeta is betraying Freeza to spare his own life. This just let's us know what kind of person Granolah is...

Granolah is a nonsensical idiot who doesn't know how to reason well & doesn't listen to truth because he assumes he is already right. I don't like ppl like him who refuse to grow mentally. I went from liking Granolah, to not caring about his bland personality, to disliking him. 😑

Oatmeel's input is pointless because he doesn't sway Granolah into believing the Saiyans may not be lying. He quickly gives up and becomes quiet. Vegeta informs Granolah that he was a child when Planet Cereal's ppl were killed and wasn't part of the attack. But he doesn't care and Paragus wants revenge against the royal family... I mean, Baby wants revenge on all Saiya... Granolah wants to kill all Saiyans.

Then we get Vegeta saying he will kill Granolah after barely talking to the guy who was willing to talk. I guess Vegeta just wants to fight and test his power instead of trying to redeem himself like earlier chapters implied and fans theorized. Throw that out the window.

He turns SSB Evolution & Hakai's large rocks around Granolah. But Granolah appears behind him and shows Vegeta true hakai. He elevates a big chunk of the ground & blows it up then the force pushes Vegeta to him and Granolah strikes him. Cool way to use the environment in battle.

Also, Granolah knows Hakai. He shows it off by using his own more powerful Hakai & suggests Vegeta's training with Beerus is lacking.

There is some cool looking art. Their fight moves from forest to river to lake. Interesting environment s for DB. Reminds me of the Cooler movie and the fights on Namek a bit.

This entire time, Vegeta is on the defensive and has to run. But, I find pages 16-21 silly.

Why is Vegeta swimming when he can fly through the water?! Swimming is slower & Granolah is firing fast ki blasts at him!

YOU: "But, Vegeta is swimming so Granolah can't detect his ki."

Granolah can see him! His right eye is supposed to see blood flow and stuff. He nearly hits him multiple times. And lets not forget he was sniping them long distance and his Goku in the neck and almost took him out. Why does Granolah need aim assist now? I'll tell ya why. To make Vegeta look more impressive than Goku by making Goku look like a poor fighter. And this was a Goku who was using Ultra Instinct and still got messed up by Granolah while Vegeta is just using SSB Evolution. Character sabotage... 😒

Back to my complaints about Vegeta swimming. The swimmin' would work in OG Dragon Ball but not here. It would work on Namek with Freeza who can't sense ki, but not here with Granolah who can sense ki (& maybe even god ki) & his eye can percieve all kinds of movements of the body.

And why does Vegeta momentarily pop up out the water then go hide back into it? Don't say its 'cause he needs to catch his breath. He aparently did training holding his breath while on the Heeter's ship, so he should be fine holding his breath. It was for a short period of time anyways. It just doesn't fit and is unnecessary in multiple ways.

Vegeta Hakai's Granolah's big blast to escape it and it blows him out of the water. Interesting kinda... Until you realize that Vegeta's training that we were shown was lame. He just Hakai'd logs & rocks! It should've shown him trying to Hakai ki blasts from Beerus. Make his training look cool darn it!

Chapter 70 Established that Hakai has changed. It no longer is just erasing things from existence in different ways. It has to have a *boom* explosion to it. So when Beerus Hakai'd Zamasu in chapter 19, there should've been an explosion instead of turning him into sand? So, now whenever the Hakai is used, there will always be an explosion...? I don't like how Toyo is quick to change what he set up just for his convenience...

Granolah brags about himself then Vegeta brags about himself-...! That's why I dislike Granolah! He's just like Vegeta! Maybe if I stop thinking of Granolah as a "good guy" then he will be cooler? I did like evil Vegeta as an evil character. We were supposed to hate him. So, if I imagine Granolah as an evil Vegeta... It worked! Granolah's unappealing attitude works perfectly if you view him as an evil enemy! (Still kinda preachy tho)

VEGETA: "But I'm still going to win."

Vegeta fans rejoice! Your prayers have been answered by the great Zalama! Vegeta announced victory...! Wait... I've seen this before... Yo... Vegeta fans, prepare for Vegeta to be defeated just in case. He has a record of announcing victory then ultimately losing. Don't get your hopes up too high.

Lol Granolah disses Vegeta's ego 👌. But Granolah is unknowingly talking about himself too XD. Dummies. Vegeta mocks him by calling him "Mr. Strongest" & Granolah has nothing to day. Granolah can dish it out but can't take it.

Goku wakes up and sees Vegeta fighting Granolah. Who cares? How are you gonna be caught off gaurd in a form that reacts on its own? Go back to sleep. I'm not mad at you, Goku. I'm just disappointed.

Vegeta fires a barrage of ki at Granolah and Granolah Hakai's them. Then Vegeta fools Ganolah into destroying an ancient city of the Cerelians.

VEGETA: "I can tell, you know... That you only recently acquired this absurd strength."

GRANOLAH: "How? How can you tell?"

VEGETA: "Thank you for confirming."

There's the Granolah we know. Quick to give out valuable info. Also, this is to make Vegeta appear "smarter" & a "better fighter" than Goku. Realistically, a master martial artist like Goku would be first to notice that Granolah recently acquired this kind of power. But, Goku is being dumbed down for Vegeta's sake.

VEGETA: "Need I repeat myself...? You may be stronger but... there's no gaurantee that I'll lose to you!" *attempts to break Granolah's leg*

So says the guy who always loses unless the opponent is weaker than him. But, he even lost to weaker opponents on Earth before, so....

Vegeta fans calm down, calm down. This is basic Vegeta dribble. Let's be real. When has Vegeta ever defeated an opponent that was stronger than himself? Never. When has Vegeta become stronger than his opponent and defeat them because they're weaker than him now? Always. Does Vegeta ever win when he is too cocky? Nope. This is to hype y'all up. Don't be mad if he loses. Y'all know this routine. The arc ain't even over so the chances of him winning are low.

Now let's examine Vegeta's fight in comparison to Goku's fight.

Goku goes through all his forms & uses Ultra Instinct in base, SSJ, SSG, SSB, & then goes silver haired UI when fighting Granolah. Then, he loses in every form. Vegeta goes straight to Blue Evolution and only seriously gets hurt once.

Goku keeps getting hit despite having a technique that is all about evasion. Vegeta gets hit far less & doesn't have Ultra Instinct.

Goku was struggling to fight a clone that was half the power of Granolah. Vegeta fights Granolah at his full power and struggles less.

Goku complains about his training and how he is struggling using his technique. Vegeta who had less time with Hakai training isn't complaining about struggling with Hakai.

Goku far surpassed Vegeta in the Moro arc, yet they are crippling Goku to let Vegeta catch up & make him look better. Vegeta has literally gotten a handout that he didnt have to work hard for in order to catch up with Goku... This chapter is fine when isolated and you aren't thinking about any other previous chapter. But, it is a convoluted mess when you look back at the previous chapters, the piss poor storytelling, & Vegeta's poor Hakai training that leads up to this chapter.

Where'd that "heroic" Vegeta and that "redemption" stuff go? Its as if Toyotaro decided he should stop tying to make Vegeta the hero & main character instead of Goku being the main. (Thank God.)

But... Vegeta says that he loves fights that are unpredictable?? That I disagree completely with. Vegeta wants fights to go in his favor through all of DBZ and will throw a fit when it doesn't.

In RoF: it was going in his favor so he loved it.

Destroyer Tournament arc: he didn't like that things didn't go his way in the end.

Future Trunks arc: he was upset when losing to Black, but loved it when he thought he was going to win.

ToP: angry when everyone else surpassed him, happy when he gained an upperhand, upset when he lost the upperhand.

Moro arc: Vegeta is upset that Moro is stronger but even more upset that Goku is stronger than him. When he is stronger than Moro he is loving it. Then when he loses the advantage, he is upset.

Vegeta doesn't love unpredictable fights, Goku does! Vegeta loves predictable fights in his favor.

Granolah asks how many lives were sacrificed for Vegeta's carnage. Vegeta doesn't answer. Why? Because its best to ignore the fact that he has killed billions of ppl so that Vegeta fans can ignore his bad actions (Yet many say that Vegeta has developed so much without acknowledging his terrible past). Can't have Vegeta looking like a bad guy in this chapter, right?

Oh boy! Page 37 is more "Vegeta hype!" He doesn't care about strongest or second strongest ('cause he has never been 1st place) & he basically explains Dragon Ball to us.

Roshi already taught Goku & Krillin that there will always be somebody stronger, so they need to keep reaching higher and higher.

If Vegeta is stronger than he was a few minutes ago, would that mean the same for Goku when he was fighting? Why did he perform so poorly? I wonder... 🤔

Granolah jabs Vegeta in the stomach, but Vegeta manages to slow it down (how come Goku using Ultra Instinct couldn't do that?). And cool. Blood. Anime has better writing and cool character development/moments. The manga has blood... Well, I guess blood is cooler to some ppl.

Vegeta is looking like Goku in the ToP before he attained UI. He has his head down & all. Vegeta just isn't talking about hownl much he sucks. Why does Goku keep insulting himself? N-nevermind. This is about Vegeta who keeps complimenting himself.

Why did Granolah become scared of Vegeta suddenly? Wouldn't he just see him as a mad dog and use his amazing power to put Vegeta down before he can do anything? He hates them so much, but keeps letting them live.

Uh oh... Vegeta doesn't like protecting and saving? BuT I tHoUgHt hE wAs a hErO! Where is his development going?? Ya mean the real development he had in the anime or the pseudo development in the manga?

But even after saying all that... I prefer manga Vegeta to be like this instead of a wannabe hero. Wannabe hero doesn't fit. This feels like Vegeta is in character again. I like this. I was just criticizing how Vegeta was written in past chapters in comparison to this one. A more chill Vegeta who loves battles? This is what I've wanted from DBS manga Vegeta for a long time!

Oh snap! Vegeta's transforming? I wonder what it will look like (thanks for the warning from the leaks 👍). Oil... Why are you even in this chapter? We don't care about you right now & you're boring without Maki. Goku says it ain't "any old god ki."

I wonder how Goku never knew about this new form if he and Vegeta trained on Beerus Planet together. Ya think he would've sensed and saw it & even wanted to fight against it.

So is this new form a spur of the moment thing? So Vegeta has a new form that he never trained... And he asks if Granolah has been training his new power on page 34... Sounds hypocritical of Vegeta, or he is being thrown a bone to make him look capable. Is Vegeta gonna pull a Golden Freeza by not training this new form? Or maybe a UI Goku at the ToP and lose the form?

Page 43, Granolah shoots tiny ki blasts at Vegeta's tower of flaming ki and he is surprised it did nothing. Why not try again but this time use that one big blast instead. No? Gonna let the guy of the race you hate finish transforming? Just gonna be scared and shocked to make Vegeta look impressive? Ok.

Pages 41, 44, & 45

Oh! Here it is! The new form...! Aaaand I still don't like it. Also, he healed up like Goku did last chapter too. Odd. Why does transforming heal them now? Didn't before.

No build up to make the form more cool, it's just

"Here, Vegeta. Goku has one more form than you do & he has mastered UI, so we can't let you fall too far behind. So I just pulled this crap transformation fresh outa my butt and gave it to you."

Another undeserved handout. Can you please make Vegeta earn a new form in the manga? PLEASE?!

Vegeta looks like he is in his own UI Omen form (like how Vegeta fans begged for Vegeta to get for the longest time). Dark hair with sone lighter coloured higlights, light coloured pupils, new aura. But this is what I see...

SSJ3ROSÉ of DESTRUCTION INSTINCT OMEN (or just "SSJ-ChexMix" for short)

Looks like in the end, Vegeta needed to resort to his own Ultra Instinct equivalent!

Oh no... I criticized Vegeta's bad writing too much! I bet some Vegeta fans are gonna automatically assume that I hate him because I want him to be written better without plotholes! 😱

IN CONCLUSION:

This chapter is good when isolated on its own. But, this chapter is filled with inconsistencies when you look back at previous chapters. Overall, it's... a mixed bag that I barely like. It's just so retarded that Goku had to be dragged through the mud just for Vegeta to look better. That is insulting to Vegeta and it either shows how much he sucks or or how weak the writing for Vegeta is. But we got what we got...

Wanna know how to make Vegeta look good without making Goku look pathetic? Goku never uses MUI! Goku defeats Granolah's clone with SSB. Then, Granolah merges back with his clone & catches SSB Goku by surprise and knocks him out.

Then, the reason why Vegeta seems to be doing better is because Vegeta is using SSBE, unlike SSB Goku who was caught off guard. Why make the MUI form & Goku both look like trash just to give Vegeta his own Ultra (Destructive) Intinct? Is Vegeta really that trash?! 😓😴

I don't wanna see the Heeters anymore. My hype for them died, but maybe a later chapter can make me like them more. Idk.

Where is my homie, Moniato?! 🐌 (BEST CHARACTER OF THE ARC SO FAR!)

Oh yeah...I was supposed to complain about not seeing Freeza again like I do every chapter... Who cares at this point? If Granolah is stronger than Goku & Vegeta, what can Freeza do? Hide for 3 yrs and let Granolah die?

What are my predictions for next chapter? More Vegeta wanking of course. More gloating & looking down on Granolah too. A battle of overinflated egos. Bad dialogue and decent to good art. I'll probably find it mostly boring but I may be surprised (that could be a good or bad thing). Vegeta will appear to be winning before...

Vegeta gets defeated & certain Vegeta fans will rage & be annoying. Those ones will complain about how Vegeta always gets the short end of the deal (that's what he gets for being shorter than Bulma & 12 cm taller than Krillin). This one should happen imo based off of Goku's performance.

Vegeta's fight will get interrupted before the battle ends so that Vegeta fans don't get angry. Make Vegeta fans feel that Vegeta could've won and keep them grasping on to hope. (How manipulative.) This one is most likely to happen to "satisfy" all fans.

Vegeta will win and Vegeta fans will rejoice & some will be very annoying. Despite the fact that he had terrible training, was handed a new form just to stay relevant, and Goku had to underperform & UI had to be nerfed just to make Vegeta look good. This one may happen just to appease Vegeta fans. (That is the worst outcome imo.) If Vegeta gets "a win/a W" against a main villain, make sure his training looks impressive and he has some sort of connection to the main bad guy. That way the victory feels well deserved.

If the final enemy is Freeza, then Vegeta defeating Granolah isn't "a win" against a major villain. Granolah will just be a bump in the road. He's already set up to not be a "bad guy." In the end, the main bad guy will be either Freeza, Gas, 7-3, or someone. Vegeta fans shouldn't care if Vegeta wins or loses against Granolah. He isn't the "final boss."

#dragon ball #dragon ball super #dbs #dbs manga #manga chapter 74 #review #Vegeta #Granolah #Goku #vegeta wanking #wtf toyotaro

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purplerose244 · 4 years ago

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My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (3/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

Yep yep yep, I'm liking this season a lot! 😍 Although I hope we'll get into a more frantic situation now, like with more battles and more bonding moments (Nya and Maya hopefully, but with Bentho too 🦈🦈🦈)! We got half a season to go, I'M READY!! 😎😎

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I do like the season a lot, maybe MoM was a little more cohesive? Idk but it's not a big complain, I still love it so far 😍

Also maybe I would've liked more interactions between Nya and Maya about how they've been apart for so long, they had a chit chat but I would've loved even more. Maybe with Nya saying that it was fine and she grew up only to realize she is still hurt by that, even though it wasn't Maya's fault. I still like how they did it, I wished there was more that's it 🤷‍♀️

While I do make sense to Maya's behavior, that while it seems a little different from Hands of Time it had its logic in my opinion, maybe Ray feels a little weird? He seems less courageous than before, and it was established that he is a hothead like his son so that came off as unusual 🤔🤔

But I do love the fact that he's here and he's bonding with his son, for real, I've been waiting for this for so long so I'm happy nonetheless 🤩

Maybe I'm just easy to please and I take all I can get idk 😅

THE STORM AMULET

Oh, are we gonna address the wind element? It feels like we haven't really seen a Morro reference since Hands of Time, that would be cool! 😍 I mean, why even mentioning the wind then 😅😅

Well what do you know, they tracked them, who saw that coming?... me, I saw that coming... we all did probably 🤷‍♀️

Jay took upon himself making a quick recap on how Ninjago will be destroyed this time, thanks Bluebell 👌

Yep nyeheh electricity makes Nya go crazy for sure ❤💙 ... wait it wasn't a Jaya pun?

Jay wear your seatbelt please, you risk you life enough 😅😅 Pff lol "are we there yet" and they are actually there, biggest plot twist I've ever heard of 😂

LEGO HUG 💜💜💜

And with someone who might as well join the League of Jay apparently 💙

I liked The Island yet it was not as exciting as I hoped for, but now understand the meaning of it. The ninja helped the keepers and they are all allies. Without The Island the moment where Mammatus gives Nya the amulet wouldn't be as meaningful

Is it just me or Nya looked even more gorgeous during that moment?... just me huh? Okay then 😂💕

Wait that's a fake? Wait... UNCLE POWERS?!? OMG THAT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE COMING 🤯

Here I thought he was just messing around, he always makes things harder 😅 Or maybe better? I mean, they kinda missed a bullet on this one...

BENTHO IS SO SWEET AND COOL OMG HE IS ALREADY OUR FRIEND 💙🦈💙🦈

Jay somehow had his own TV show in the past and yet he's got that horrible acting skills wth 😂😂😂

Kalmaar is a very cool villain, like, deeply evil. Not only he's calculated and merciless, he stops at nothing to get what he wants. And the people that get in the way? He wants them to suffer because they had dared to confront him 😳

And yes the voice does help a lot, I'm sorry I'll keep saying it until the season is over 😂 (or even beyond? Please cast Giles again LEGO 🥺🥺🥺)

Awww Nya no my poor girl 😢 Jay wanted to hug her to comfort her he is so sweet my SHIP ❤💙❤💙

MOM PEP TALK MOM PEP TALK!!! 🤩🤩🤩 How cool was it?

Like, this isn't even Maya asking Nya to believe in herself, this is her saying that she KNOWS her daughter can do anything when she puts her mind into it. FINALLY SHE SEES HOW AMAZING WATER GODDESS IS 💜💜💜

MORE LEGO TEARS OMG THIS SEASON IS FILLED WITH TEARS 😱 Which... kinda makes sense considering it's a water based season 😂

Nice one, and now? NOW WE GO BACK TO KAI COLE AND RAY YAS!!! ❤🖤❤🖤

RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX

That is... surprisingly Egypt theme like? It feels like a title coming from the Fire Chapter of season 11... well we got two fire elementals so 😍😍

SPARRING KAI AND RAY

I REPEAT SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! ❤❤❤ Lol Ray got old, but how can someone blame him? He did touch death while aging in Hands of Time, I'm just happy he is alive 😂

Yep, master prankster Wu, that's what I love 👌👌 I always thought Wu had become a father figure for Kai at the beginning, so seeing Ray and Wu in the same picture feels very wholesome to me 😚

Ah, uncle Powers, I both love you and hate you so freaking much 😌😌 But you make cool slides nonetheless 😂

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH BEAUTIFUL SMITH INTERACTIONS??

BECAUSE I LIKE IT KEEP GOING 🤩

Oh no you guys are stranded on an island whatever are you going to do?? It's not like you had already before and managed to survive (Skybound) or you got stranded on a rock in a sea of sand filled with giant monsters (Fire Chapter) or you were on a freaking COMET in SPACE (Rebooted). Yeee, this is the worst yet 🙂

I'm starting to think these ninja are just a bunch of drama queens so no matter what happens, it's always hopeless 😂😂 I feel like I'm kinda right on this one honestly ��

Whoa whoa WHOA WHO IS NYAD THIS SOUNDS VERY COOL???

Aww I like that, while Ray told his kids stories about dragons and how they traveled through the Underworld, Maya told them about Nya the first water master that could summon whales 💙❤💙❤

Pff imagine if it turned out Nya was the master of fire, carrying a very water based name? Lol

Maya: I would know if it was possible!

Nya: Yeah, like she knows that I can control a bit of ice because it's frozen water

Maya:...

Maya: YOU WHAT

I find both interesting and very annoying that this explorers club thinks so highly of themselves, to the point the deny to aid even the FREAKING SAVIORS OF THEIR FREAKING LAND 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Misako got good reflexes after all, Kai was probably ready to melt this guy's face 😅

Oh, so a trial by Sphinx is a challenge? A mental one? A cultural one? A physical one? Idk but Misako is actually taking charge and that is cool I guess 🤷‍♀️

Okay this is kind of weird, how is Ray so afraid? Is it because there's fire?... did he... did he grow afraid of fire for some reason? Because it feels a bit off for now, but if there is a deeper meaning that could be interesting 🤔

Wait is that the riddle from Decoded? That's fire right?

IT IS FIRE 🔥🔥🔥

Lol at least in this one Kai wasn't completely ignored 😂 I know my flame babe isn't the most rational person, but I do like that it was an answer connected to his element where he used his head!

Ah Clutch, you really got no backbone 😅 And apparently you're the only explorer who doesn't, dang look at the others go! I'm having a bit more respect for them now 😚

LOOK AT SENSEI GO FINALLY!!! 😍😍 FIGHTING SCENES HECK YES!!!

Kalmaar: I'm your conquerer

Wu: so after skeletons, the serpentine, nindroids, the Stone Army, Chen's army, ghosts, oni, more snakes but on fire and people from a game, that makes you the tenth. Have a free cookie

Kalmaar:...

Wu: you're not special

Is this a little throwback to Possession too? Nya seems to always control better water when she doesn't actually think about it. When her feelings are free, so are her powers 🌊🌊🌊

Also this opens up more possibilities! Creatures connected with other elements might get summoned too! I would love something like that 😍😍

This was NEAT, or maybe I just missed Kai that much ❤ What's next??

PAPERGIRL

ANTONIAAAAAAAA!!!! MY GIRL IS BACK!!! All my girls are back in this season, I'm so happy 😍😍😍 And if she is here, sweet little Nelson has to be around and I cannot wait! Bring in the purple ninja! 💜

Owww Antonia's last day as a papergirl? Nooo why??

She's got a job at the... DAIRY DRAGON??? OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ICE CREAM PLACE BRAGI TOLD US ABOUT ON TWITTER!!! 🤩🤩🤩 I remember the post, he was asking about names for the place and ice cream flavors. Now I can't wait to see what did he choose 🍦🍦🍦

UNAGAMI BABY HI HONEY!!! 🙋‍♀️ I hope he's doing great 😘😘

This is so cool honestly, Antonia got her own character arc going on! Living in a chaotic city like Ninjago City must be pretty dang exhausting 😅

Was... was that Dareth in the garbage can? Am I wrong? Poor brown ninja 😅🤎😅

SPINJITZU SWIRL, BANANAKHAN, ORANGE SERPENTINE, I'M DYING 😂😂😂

Their friendship is so wholesome, I'm so happy they are still together no matter what happens 💕

I thought Kalmaar wasn't much of a fighter but DANG he's got skills! Also the fact that he uses tentacles makes the fight very cool to watch! 😚😚

RAY RUNNING IN AFTER KAI GOT HURT HECK YES ❤❤❤

Well at least you tried Ray 😅

Ah, little cameo of the original Weekend Whip, always nice to hear it again... AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!!! 🌪🌪🌪

EVEN NELSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M SO PROUD 💜

I don't even know what is cooler, the kids being mad lads on their bikes, Kalmaar driving a TRUCK or Kai going full parkour on the buildings to follow them 🤯

I'm sorry... am I the only one that during the Kai and Kalmaar talk kinda thought of Jestro and Clay? I miss my boys from NK, they're even more at odds now 😭😭

KAI YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OR EVEN TRY TO DIE GET BACK HERE AT ONCE 😱😱

Kalmaar just loves to make everyone feel inferior, gotta be his hobby 😶

Oh good Kai is back

OH NOT GOOD KAI IS NOT BREATHING?!? FLAME BABE I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE 😱😱😱

Antonia, Nelson, you guys are now my heroes. You saved my fave, I'll be forever in dept with you ❤❤❤ Am I being overdramatic? Most likely, but Kai is one of the few that didn't almost die or did die in a dramatic situation and he is also my absolute favorite character so that... kinda keeps my sanity in check in this show 🥴

I wonder... does he still not know how to swim? He saved Lloyd in Possession but I wonder if he was only trying to float on the surface... THAT'S TERRIFYING

This episode was so adorable, I love Antonia and Nelson so much 💜💕💜💕 It's nice to see what the other people of Ninjago do while everything goes mad 🤣

Wait hang on my Ninjajan is a little rusty

"Ninjago City. City that never sleeps" well if that ain't the truth 😂

MASTER OF THE SEA

Like Master of the Mountain? Wait are we going back to Shintaro?? VANYA?? ANOTHER BEST GIRL RETURNS??? 💛

Hey hey hey, we got a full Nyad backstory! I really like when they do these little drawn shots, they feel more like legends! And... the ending sounds terrifying? Like, they wouldn't let Nya sacrifice herself and die... again... right? 😱

Bentho: and the world was in balance, until now because of my brother

Lloyd: and the Overlord before of course

Bentho: the what now?

Lloyd: the evil one my grandpa the first Spinjitzu Master fought?

Bentho: YOUR WHAT NOW

Why do I like this offscreen "hiiiyaaa" that sensei Wu does before actually going into the scene? 😂😂

No matter if they come from the underground or the sea, these are all snake-like creature with the same intellect 😅 Kalmaar and Garmadon would have a lot to talk about, sea king dealing with his minions does remind me of Lord Garmadon in season 2 a lot 😂😂

KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤

OMG Kalmaar is such a brat and petty villain I love him so much 😂😂😂 Yes I didn't even mention his amazing voice!... AH DANG IT 😳😳

*Misako kicks Kalmaar and is actually useful* 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

*Misako gets taken as hostage immediately after* 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

KAI LITERALLY JUST GOT SAVED FROM DROWNING WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM!!!... and Ray and Cole and Wu of course, I care okay 😅

OMG that face 🤣🤣🤣

That some meme material right there

Whoa Vincent that voice just got super up when the Unsinkable showed up, it kinda sounded like Jay's lol

NO NOT BENTHO!!! 😢😢😢

Kai: Nya talks to whales now? (I snorted so hard at this 😂😂)

HECK YES NYA GOT THE AMULET!! 😍😍😍 ... we got, like, four more episodes to go so something needs to happen in between... do I need to be scared? I feel like I need to be scared 😅

Jay starting a fire then blaming Kai?... this is so in character I got chills 😂😂

SHARK BOY IS STAYING TO THE MONASTERY THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I want all the shenanigans and we need to write fanfictions about more shenanigans and AAAAHHHHH 🦈🦈🦈

Bless these two fire idiots

They own my heart ❤🔥❤🔥 Also Vincent, this is supposed to be a fun little gag moment, your amazing voice acting is kinda distracting me 😭😭😭

ANOTHER LEGO HUG

YOU GUYS ARE SPOILING ME OVER HERE HECK YES 💙🌊💙🌊

Maya learned that her daughter is capable of everything, I love that. Nya simply understood that she doesn't have to give up when something gets difficult. She is AMAZING and can do anything she puts her mind into. She simply has to hold on until the end 💪💪💪

Omg Benthomaar playing billiard with the guys I already love this 😍😍

YES IT IS SHINTARO!!! THE UPPLY ARE HERE OMG!!! HI VANYA YOU LOOK AMAZING GIRL MISS YOU I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY!!! 💛💛💛 ... I just really like Master of the Mountain okay 😅

I love how Vanya doesn't even question it. It comes from Cole and he said it needs to be protected? Done and done 👌

Wait what, did something fall?

IS THAT THE FAKE?!?!? WHAT HOW WHEN??? UNCLE POWERS??? OR KALMAAR DID SOMETHING??? SOMEONE??? I'M LEGIT CONFUSED AND EXCITED??? 🤯🤯🤯

Well dang, I didn't see that coming, now what Seabound? What do you have for me?

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be-kind-please-review · 3 years ago

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THE BATMAN 2022

*cracks knuckles* Alright this is gonna be a bumpy ride so strap in... first off NO SPOILERS HERE... so I just finished seeing this movie. I saw so much hype saying "Best Batman movie ever!" "Pattison is the Best Batman!" "Rotten Tomatoes fans love it!" Etc. Etc.. so going to see this I had a lot of expectations. Now I'm going to start by saying my top Batmen are Keaton, Affleck and Bale so when you go to a movie with the Legend of John Henry's Hammer type of hype you want to be blown away. I'm going to sum up the movie with one word and some people might hate me for it but I like to think I'm fair with my judgment... that word is... Disconnected. My honest opinion you are so disconnected from Bruce Wayne / Batman that you barely cheer him on. You're just watching him try to solve the riddles and you hope for something good to happen at the end. Pattison's acting chops are top notch I am not knocking him on that... it's the writing. Bruce and Alfred's relationship in this movie angered me so much. Not going to go into detail but out of all of the movies I literally wanted to smack Bruce for how cold he is towards Alfred. Other notes is I know with every reboot they will play with how characters are so it's not the same things you've already seen but some character traits should remain intact. I felt Penguin was a fall guy in this movie and I feel he has more power than what they portrayed him as. The "chemistry" between Catwoman and Batman is at some points weird and kind of rushed (even though the film is over two hours long but some parts are awkward for me...) My favorite characters in this film are Jim Gordan and the Riddler. Both knocked it out of the park and the balls are still flying. A lot of great shooting choices for visionary affects as well. One scene that keeps popping in my head and won't ruin anything for you is a scene shot in the dark and the only light is guns going off as Batman beats up some cronies (old word I know lol).. For any fan of action movies you'll love this film... For any fan of romance movies... ya ain't getting it here, sorry... it's weird.. sorry.. FOR ANY FAN OF BATMAN MOVIES... if you're open for new story telling and stretching what you thought you knew for a Batman story... you'll dig it... As for me... my rating... 7.9/10... Sorry to say I just can't give it that 8... Just lacked in certain things I was hoping to see.. but that's my opinion.. GO JUDGE FOR YOURSELF! Go see The Batman playing in Theaters Now!

MY RATING: 7.9/10

#the batman #batman #dcu #dc comics #dc movies #movies #movie #movie review #movie reviews #action

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magpie-69 · 4 years ago

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Dear L,

My dear friend. My Subby Sister.

It's been one year since we lost you [long contemplative silence]. One year ago today you stepped through the door and received peace. We lost an amazing soul & the Gods gained one. I think of you often. And I think of your family. What they all must be going through today I cannot truly know, but I can imagine. In whatever way they've chosen to spend this day I'm sure they'll be looking at you with loving memories and celebrating the awesome person you were. You never gave up! And because of that you did not lose any fight against the insidious cancer that tried to beat you. You fought with all of your strong and infinitely caring heart. Now you run, fight, laugh and play in the heavens and I bet you give the good old Gods a run for their money! But! You haven't forgotten us! Your wisdom and love is still felt. I hear you and I feel you! Thank you, sweetie 💜

The last year here on terra firma has been a tad odd, to say the least. You know it, Sis! You see it. I bet you're shaking your head at the antics of some. We certainly are. It's been a surreal, frustrating and sad 2020. I know that many more souls will have joined you. Ones that needn't have. There's been far too much suffering and I'll never stop praying that those in charge will one day stop their greed and turn to help instead. I know this is a hopeless pipedream but I can't help but hope. In the meantime I have to keep fighting for compassion for our sisters and brothers and equality for all.

You know I'm not a perfect person and have many flaws. This has cost me friendships on here. I accept I'm not everyone's cup of tea, or coffee, or shot of Tequila ;) However, despite my weirdness I've a good heart and I've made my peace with this. I'm not at all responsible for folk not understanding how I work and what I struggle with.

I've had a difficult year, what with work pressures and many health problems, but so have we all.

Ya know how well our @instructor144 Wolfie friend has been doing, right? You must be so damn proud of him! I know I am. Like me, today will be a hard day for him. I suspect he will deal with it like he always does. With stoic pig-headed determination! He's a good un! I respect, admire and love my old friend dearly. Ain't nothing gonna change that! :) Keep at him, L. He loves it really! ;p I also need to mention 2 other very good friends of mine for how they handle their own obstacles @auroradragon1 and @theshootingcyclist So very proud of the both of them and extremely honoured to be their friend.

This community, this Tribe of varied people, are astounding for what they deal with day after day and how they support each other. They're all fantastic folk and so many have been a rock for me.

Long Live Us And Our Tribe! ⚔️💜⚔️

So, dear L, forgive me please if parts of this letter are overly emotional and soppy, for today is going to be tough for me for another reason. Today I'm taking my eldest son to the city he's going to live in for the next 4 or 5 years as he undertakes his university course. Game development is what he's chosen and I know he'll succeed at it. He's been through so very much in his young life and I'm ever so proud of what he has achieved so far! I've had the heartache of seeing him devastated by his dad's death but have also seen him pick himself up and go for what he wants! He's grown into an amazing young man! 💜

I think I've waffled on long enough now, lol.

All the best, my dear L. Love you lots and miss you more! :)x

'Pie ⚔️💜⚔️

S💞S

20th September 2020

#magstuff #S💞S #Year one :(#Re-blog/comment as you wish #I may or may not

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callsignbaphomet · 4 years ago

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So I keep hearing people don't know what to do with the angry iguana 🤔 I highly recommend watching this.

youtube

Things the video doesn't cover:

After the first huge attack PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SANE, please try to keep yourselves and Angry Iguana in the middle of the map. For the next attack y'all need to head deeper into the castle and if Fatalis catches you all the way on the other edge you ain't gonna make it. You will not make it! So try to stay as close as possible to the center. Even better if close to the gate.

After the second big attack he gets a massive boost to his fire and WILL one shot you. I highly suggest breaking his head. Basically first phase you work on weakening his head. Second phase work on breaking its head. Even breaking just one horn nerfs his fire. Also ya need to break its head twice for the evil eye anyway so yeah.

After his second big attack there's nowhere else to hide so ya gotta hide under it as the attack goes. Same rule as before, stay in the center as it will fly to any of the 4 corners of the arena and at this point the arena is longer. If you get caught on one edge and it flies off to the other side you ain't gonna make it. Stay in the center or keep an eye out for tells. Usually it does its big attack after you knock it down twice. So after that second knock down be wary.

Even if you don't break it its head once you can still do it but it's gonna be a huge pain in the ass and you're gonna wanna run into the middle of a cornfield and scream.

After you hit him with the dragonator and the music changes it gets really intense. Fatalis is all over the place, it moves faster and its attack pattern gets...weird. Plus that 360 fire attack is really hard to evade. It's stupid, even I have to admit it. Just. Hang on as best you can and try to hit it as hard as you can.

You can use far caster at any time to go back to camp EXCEPT when Fatalis is doing its big ass attack.

If you went back to camp or carted and ya did what you needed to do and are ready to get back to the fight and call a wyvern to fly you back and as ya did Fatalis started its big attack don't panic. Just stay on the wyvern. It'll fly you above the whole thing safely. After its done with its attack you can safely drop. Yeah, I tested this accidently and my stomach dropped lol.

You don't have to do this if you can't/don't want to but evade window helps a lot. Don't have to max it out, level 3 is just fine.

Partbreaker 3 is kind of a must alongside health boost 3.

Yesterday I played around with some sets and anything under 1020 defense will get you killed in one hit from almost all of its attacks. Right now I'm using the full Safi set and I'm sitting on 1053 and am able to survive almost all of its attacks.

You can actually put it to sleep and paralyze it. Takes a wee bit of work but you can do it. Hell, your palico can do it.

Its attacks are very highly telegraphed and they get very easy to read once you know what to look out for. It takes it a while of building up to do its more devastating attacks so if ya see it kinda working up to an attack and it takes longer than usual be very careful!

It likes to do the fire storm cone as a quick follow up. I strongly suggest staying near it anyway.

It has two tail attacks. One is a quick slam and the other it slams its tail down and does a sweep. This one is more dangerous as the tail is deceptively long.

The video covered this but it bares repeating. USE THE WEAPONS IN THE ARENA! USE THE WEAPONS IN THE ARENA! DON'T BE SHY ABOUT IT!

Also go crazy with the wall bangs. When on all fours you can wall bang it for a whopping 3,000+ damage to its head. Don't sleep on the damn wall bangs.

Just a suggestion. Saving both binders and a mount for when it gets erratic after the dragonator is a smart idea. that way you can control its movement and get some cheap shots in on its head.

When the dragonator is ready and you go up to the lever Fatalis will aggro you. Hard. So be careful and if it ain't you up there get those dusts and powders ready just in case.

Yes. USE THE DRAGONATOR. I AIN'T EVEN KIDDING WITH THIS! Don't be a try-hard.

Also here's some hunter notes I took earlier of the good boy. Hope that helps.

#Fatalis #monster hunter #mhwi

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theaspers · 4 years ago

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Zara! I just got back from a short trip. In a perpetual state of i want to do fuck all 😑 but I really should focus n do things. How are u? Anything random u want to share? My face n upper body r quite sunburnt lol so I've been a hermit trying to recover 😂 thanks for the well wishes on the job hunting. My mood on that journey is like ⬆️↗️➡️↘️⬇️↙️⬅️↖️🤣

I revisited hades after u replied! N spoilers: I got past elysium n then died to the Chambers (items got so expensive n it's multiple pathways to find cerb's treat lol n the poison...) butttttt I came back like next run n got hades to like 1/3 of his health and then died!!!! I'm pretty chuffed tho. I know now heueueue. And I MET THAN! GORGEOUS SOFT DEATH BOI. His voice man 🥰 BTW r zag n than half brothers that share hades as their father? But he cute that ain't no lie. I um am assuming u finished at least one complete run so I hope I ain't spoiling anything? I'm really sorry if I did. Third fury sister met too heueu.

Lololol I'm not really shitting on luci's yukata haha. Tbh I've been into kpop n Korean shows for yearsssss so I feel like nothing really fazes me too much? It's funny seeing ppl shit on Satan so much but I'm like honestly it doesn't hurt my eyes that badly. N his Pepsi yukata looks pre good. Not the worst by a looooooongggg shot. I hope the devs fix up the wonkiness of obey me cuz otherwise they will keep losing players n awesome content creators. V understandable tho. That's also why I probably won't play om and genshin cuz gacha, too stressful n it's kinda nice just evolving the charas by headcanons n imagination alone. The lore is v noice tho. Have u read the genshin manga?

Hahaha it's a good thing I thought of u. The fic does have some grammatical errors (I went back to read it again hehe) but it's just so soft n realistic to me that I thought u might like it. Probably ooc for Thea tho sorry. It's alright if u never get to it or don't like it!

Aww my ask got ate up huh. I sent it in the morning after u recommended achilles to me. It just said that the song is so fucking good. So cathartic n would've been such a help several yrs ago when I was going thru some shit. I love the lyrics, the sound...it's very soothing n I love it a lot. I hope to find more English songs that have such beautiful n haunting lyrics. I'm trying not to make the ask too long so I've dumbed the original ask down a lot. It's going to be long anyways 🙃

I asked about any personal hcs u wanted to share? Mine were that I would call Lucifer: Luce Luce or Luci haha. N I would greet him by saying Luci....fer after making eye contact with his brothers above his shoulder but he would be glaring at me anyways. Ever perceptive Luci. I would like to mess around Belphie by calling him Moo Moo 🤭 I hc that once close, I would go around the dining table every morning n give each bro some individual loving. Some nuzzles, cheek kiss ya know n get to Belphie like wut up moo moo? Lplolol thanks for letting me ramble haha this is sort of embarrassing. Can u tell my love language is physical touch 💖

Haha no worries about ur messy blog tho. I love the stuff u reblog. Some legit quality content n it's so amusing seeing the juxtaposition between the sfw n the NSFW. Ur duality zara never fails to make me laugh. If u want u can guess my height. What vibes do I give off? I have a feeling my answer will make u v happy ☺️ ALSO DUDE UR FIRST LANG AIN'T ENGLISH? WAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY? THAT'S SO FUCKIN IMPRESSIVE. KUDOS TO U SON. Wow. damn. U. R. So. Cool. 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ Ahem finally much love to Luci anon. Better reinstate their rightful emojis hehe. Thanks for letting me visit again 💙 - (not a) worker lurker

long answer so under a cut hehe.

hey there!! sorry i took so long to reply shsjs but anw hope you’ve been doing well. i have been doing alright too? i guess? lol i have no idea. i’m simply just vibing. i hope the sunburn’s not bothering u as much anymore though! and still wishing you lots of luck on the job hunting front!

oooh, glad to hear that you’ve made some progress on hades! you’re not spoiling anything at all so don’t worry hehe. i wish you luck on your future runs, you can do it!! (side note: those stupid rats. i swear. i hate them so much 😭) AHH THAN!! isn’t he just so precious? 🥺 like i realise he is death but he’s so. soft 🥺 and no!! afaik they’re not related lol i think nyx might have just. made him and hypnos? they grew up together tho, i think. oooh, love the fury sisters. they’re very interesting hehe. definitely missed playing the game but i’m still not in the mood to play it unfortunately. i miss zag tho. and hypnos. ugh one day i’ll pick it back up again 🥺😭

shdjd same tho. and ur right. after seeing all the kpop idol outfits, nothing fazes me anymore. plus i don’t think their outfits are the worst thing ever tbh :’) ugh, i agree. the main route itself is getting harder to play and the non-stop events are tiring. i want to hope that they slow down a lil bit but idk. kinda doubt they will. and the obm gacha rate is terrible but at the end of the day, it is gacha, right? :’) genshin is horrible gacha wise but there’s always a lot to do, and places to explore. plus they’re still updating the game so i’m sure it’ll remain relevant for a little while longer. i haven’t read the manga fully but i have seen bits and pieces, and some screenshots. diluc and kaeya look amazing in them 😭

oof yeah, i still love listening to achilles come down. it’s so good!! definitely very cathartic. i’m glad you enjoy it too. 🥰

ahaha, ngl i just always call him luci tbh. i know he probably doesn’t like it. but like lucifer is just a mouthful to say sometimes hehe i just know he’ll get his revenge on u for calling him that tho. belphie moo moo shdjd that’s kinda cute?? hmm. i don’t think i have nicknames for them tbh? :0 just kinda. shorten their names lol. and there’s nothing wrong with having physical touch as ur love language!! hehe i think that’s cute. i’m sure they enjoy the show of affection anw. i think i would just be way too shy to do anything like that tho :’)

ik people tell me they enjoy the messiness but sometimes i scroll through and get so embarrassed 😭 like i would like to not be perceived, please and thank u. but i’m glad that u enjoy my blog, regardless 😭 your height? :0 oof that’s a bit tough. you don’t radiate short ppl energy. wanna say ur probably average height shdkd and no, that’s definitely not me projecting my own height onto other people :’)

yeah, english isn’t my first language shdjd 😭 but i have been speaking/learning it for a while now. doesn’t matter tho, i still makes mistakes occasionally ahdjd but i’ve stopped caring lolol luci anon has yet to pop up again but it’s okay hehe they’ll get back their rights eventually hehe oh, and thank you for dropping by!! much love 💖💖💖

#oof this was long shdjd #but thank u tho for the ask. always nice catching up w u #answered #lurker anon #long post

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: the lure of coffee machine burns and demanding customers proved too strong? Jimmy: Your gratitude at getting another smoothie an' all Janis: you found out I was a big tipper? Janis: grapevine getting oddly specific and vaguely complimentary Jimmy: Your boyfriend never said nowt, awkward and 💔 Janis: which one Janis: have to put him on the 'really, never again' list Jimmy: the one who works here but ain't me Jimmy: Pete Janis: so that's his name Janis: cute Janis: well he can't go on that list so I take it back Jimmy: Or I'm lying Jimmy: but I reckon I'd give him a better name if I were Janis: exactly Janis: one every lad has like Jimmy: what every lad don't have is a 🎸 and a band attached Jimmy: he's WELL unique 💕 Janis: OMG Janis: makes so much sense why you're 💘 Jimmy: I ain't 😳 it's the steam, alright Janis: 😂 Janis: If I was a nicer friend I'd be made up for yous Janis: obviously I've learnt from the best and I'll covertly hit that behind your back, sabotaging you every step of the way Jimmy: We mates now? 🎉🎊🕺 Janis: the best 💕 Janis: thought 💔 you ain't 💔 about the friendzoning, obvs Jimmy: I'm made up for us Janis: 😏 good Jimmy: you'll be well about having a gay BFF Janis: ikr Janis: as if they didn't have enough reasons to be jealous of me Janis: ultimate accessory Jimmy: I am gonna ask him to move in though so if you could piss off before the end of our shift Jimmy: Tah, babes Janis: how could you Janis: genuinely did not see this coming Jimmy: when you know you know, girl 💕 Jimmy: soz you didn't Janis: I know lots of things Janis: like his name and passion so tah, dickhead 🏆💘 Jimmy: @petechambers is what you need to know Janis: why you being so helpful Jimmy: he reckons you're my girlfriend, how far do you reckon you're gonna get Janis: reckons you're my boyfriend, by that logic Janis: looks like we're both fucked Jimmy: I don't fuck in the workplace, I told you Jimmy: only customers 👴👵💕 Janis: fucking hell don't say that Janis: not just their spidey senses tingling, eurgh Jimmy: 💀👑 and her #squad ain't here yet Jimmy: can say what I like Janis: 'course not, it's before noon Janis: and as long as your manager don't hear you, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 he won't hear me 😴 in the back either Janis: you must be dead Janis: all the freebie espresso shots today Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: should've let you call in for me Janis: dangerously close to admitting I had a good idea Jimmy: only the one Janis: one more than you had you poor 😴 fool Jimmy: You sleep alright? The 🐕 was being a right little twat when I had to go Janis: like I'd been drugged Janis: not accusing you Janis: just don't usually sleep that deep Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: the barman was a bit Jimmy: could accuse him Janis: who am I to turn my nose up at free drugs Jimmy: 👮🚔 undercover me, remember Jimmy: might wanna hit delete on that Janis: listen, you've definitely crossed some boundaries yourself, idc how deep your cover is Janis: you keep it 🤐 and so will I Jimmy: Oh it's really deep like my 💕 baby Janis: 😂 Janis: yep, you're definitely 45 Jimmy: were warned Janis: didn't say I didn't like it 😍 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: #whenshelikestherealyou Janis: just can't help but be goals, me and you Jimmy: tough job but I've already got a piss easy one Jimmy: I'd be bored to 😭😭😭 or 💀💀💀 Janis: so welcome, babe 💕 Janis: shame you can't be bored to 💤💤💤 rn though Jimmy: earnt myself a burn for cheeking everyone's manager 🙏 @god soz, like Janis: 🌩 Janis: he'll get ya Jimmy: bit late for the warning, Jenna but tah Janis: got off pretty light Janis: it could've been genocide, he's a big fan Jimmy: tell it to all the fans who want pics of me touching you up Jimmy: ain't gonna be goals for a bit, that Janis: bad enough you can 🏥 Jimmy: still got skin ✔ Jimmy: makes it a no go Janis: 😔 baby Jimmy: will to live ✖ Jimmy: least I've got you 💕 Janis: you poor, poor boy Janis: and your fave customers ain't there either, what's the rest of the crowd looking like? Jimmy: 👪 and 👫 Jimmy: be why I'm in such a romantic mood Janis: so inspiring, yeah Jimmy: nowt as inspiring as you obvs Janis: how many paracetamol did you pop Janis: very peace and love rn, you Jimmy: might be talking in my 💤 Janis: in that case Janis: let me hold you to everything you say Janis: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: did you/any of yous get a chance to walk this dog Janis: it's being batshit Jimmy: I let it out but unless Cass is up and about now Janis: If she is she's being as quiet as I am Janis: no worries, I'll take it for a run Jimmy: hang on, I'll text her Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Alright, boot the door in for us Janis: you what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: 👮🚔 tactics, mate Janis: not gonna marry your da, remember Janis: no stepmum here Jimmy: well he chucks her 💰 for walking that 🐕 you're gonna at least wanna take that off her Janis: I guess I could let the dog in her room Janis: just blame you or the kid Jimmy: I did it earlier, dunno how it got back out Janis: clever girl Jimmy: 👻🐕 Janis: awh Janis: if I could draw for shit I would Jimmy: Have a go Jimmy: there's loads of shit in my room Janis: feeling #inspirational as well as #inspired, mate? Jimmy: you feeling 🥇 or 🙀? Janis: how do you know I ain't got plans Jimmy: Come on, I'll do it too, let 👻🐕 decide which is better Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: Crack on then, loser Janis: fuck off Janis: I never claimed I was good at art, 🎨 hoe Jimmy: Getting the excuses in already Jimmy: should've just backed out from the challenge, babe Janis: you should get to work Janis: doodling or your actual, like Jimmy: I'm doing both Janis: get you Jimmy: 🏆🥇👑 Janis: ⭐⭐⭐ for your name badge Jimmy: It says Jamie right now so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: doesn't suit you Jimmy: only been working here ages Jimmy: don't put yourselves out Janis: your names not actually James then? Janis: least they're in the ballpark Jimmy: Bollocks would it be, Ian'd reckon that too la-de-da Janis: fair, can't imagine that either Jimmy: and anyway we're all y or ie except him 'cause ❄ can't get ideas above ourselves Janis: don't stop every cunt I know giving their kids genuinely mental names though so Jimmy: I've wrote some mad ones on ☕ Janis: ooh #whenhescreativetho Jimmy: his new missus better fall in like my mum did Jimmy: fucked yourself you Janis: I mean, I'd change it but what to Ian, you've got the vision, like Jimmy: @ him Janis: from his house, that'd be hilariously psycho stalker Jimmy: he'd be 😍😍 so don't actually Janis: alright, in your bed not his Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: Get up dickhead there's 🎨 to make Janis: 🙄 alright, on it Janis: ruin the fantasy with your details, why don't you Jimmy: ruin your lie in with my jealousy of it, tah Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: are you concentrating that hard? Jimmy: you need to if you wanna beat me Jimmy: doing you that favour Janis: so kind 🖕 Janis: so considerate 😒 Jimmy: I know 💕 Janis: [hit him with a cartoon of ghost Twix doing a phantom shit in Ian's shoes] Jimmy: [one of those recorded texts things of him loling] Janis: is that a lol of approval? Jimmy: 'course Janis: good, 'cos I tried Jimmy: yours is better than mine Jimmy: glad I ain't the judge Janis: rub it in pedigree, like Janis: she likes you better, maybe a walk would swing it Jimmy: she don't like that I only let her out in the garden for a bit Jimmy: so if you're gonna cheat Jimmy: would be 🥇 cheating Janis: from the professional himself 💕 Janis: leave a note, so your sister don't reckon it's been dognapped Jimmy: 🖕 and 👌 Janis: love you too Jimmy: [sends her his picture of ghost him walking ghost twix and Janis in a ghostbusters outfit getting him with the vacuum thing cos Twix is her true love but someone's spilt coffee on it rudely] Janis: fuck off Janis: that's actually sick Janis: can't even be that mad Jimmy: you ain't judging it either and ☕ ain't a treat she's 😍 for Janis: take the compliment, boy Jimmy: I'm too tired Janis: doesn't anyone at your work have a decent coke habit Janis: inconsiderate, that Jimmy: what kind of rock and roll god are you, Pete? fuck's sake Jimmy: 😱💔 Janis: if he's straight-edge Janis: have him Janis: won't be lectured by some 🤓 however cute Jimmy: from his feed I'd say 60/40 that he is Jimmy: gutted pisshead Janis: actually devastated Janis: please give me time to grieve Jimmy: me an' all, gonna have to rely on you and only you to get me through this shift Janis: I haven't got any on me either, you know Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: he does 🚬 though actually, I've seen him Janis: 😻😻😻 Janis: oh thank god Janis: not ready to let that dream die tbh Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: you don't understand Jimmy: Have you even looked at his profile? 60/40 that bird's his girlfriend an' all Janis: idk what that's gotta do with me Jimmy: she's got better tits than you Jimmy: I don't reckon you'd win if you challenged her Janis: well I know I would but tah Jimmy: You ain't his type Janis: omg you don't know that Jimmy: try some heavy eye make up and a band t-shirt Jimmy: might 👀 at you then Janis: can't argue with good looking Janis: whatever you think you're into Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's with the negging Jimmy: What you want me to big you up? Got that covered ain't you Janis: nah Janis: but shouldn't affect you that I know my worth, should it Jimmy: it don't Jimmy: nowt you do affects me Janis: then stop chatting shit like that to me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: no or what about it I won't fucking talk to you Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't got time for you, my best customers are here Janis: lol really Jimmy: [a pic of them gals, chin chin] Janis: 🤢 Janis: if I never saw that face again, it'd be too soon Jimmy: [resends it with faces scribbled out] Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Janis: time for a stock check, probs Jimmy: time to post something about you more like Jimmy: [does about how much he misses her and how hard it was to leave her there asleep this AM etc] Janis: you trying to kill 'em? Janis: 'cos good job, honestly Janis: they'll at least have heart palpatations at that Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: could do better but this ain't a topless kinda place Janis: we're all 💔 about that Janis: should've taken some creeper shots whilst you were sleeping, my bad Jimmy: such an amateur you Janis: had other things on my mind, happens Janis: my reply will be extra slushy, how's that Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: obvs but yay or nay dickhead Jimmy: where are you? Janis: park opposite yours Janis: why Jimmy: do you look like you belong in a park opposite mine? Janis: fuck you, I'm clean Jimmy: I'm saying make yourself look like you just got out of my bed and get over here Janis: alright then Janis: but that counts as one of my debts paid, definitely Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: er yeah it does Jimmy: How is this a favour to me? Jimmy: They're chatting shit about you Janis: when ain't they Janis: I don't ever need to be in the same room as my sister, tah Jimmy: Stay at the park then Janis: make up your mind Janis: I said I'll do it Jimmy: Not doing this for my health Jimmy: they ain't wrong in thinking I look like shit and if you were any kind of nurse you wouldn't have let me go nowhere Janis: marry 'em then Jimmy: I don't wanna marry you why would I wanna marry them? Jimmy: Also how? In what sequence 'cause can only be one at a time Janis: 'cos clearly you trust in their ability to look after you based on this snippet of overheard convo, idiot Janis: none of them have had a boyfriend longer than 3 weeks, no time to get a fucking cold, nevermind get over it Janis: don't count, they're a hivemind Janis: cut off Mia's head, they all die Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how can they possibly have anything to talk about Janis: not seen any of them in days Jimmy: You've been online, nowt else they need Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: I'll throw a drink over Mia she'll melt, game over Jimmy: if she ever orders owt Janis: some sweet as Janis: that hot sweet vom will coat her mouth on the way out, enjoy that for hours Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: you'll make me vom Janis: such a baby Jimmy: Piss off Janis: you ain't cleaned up worse in the CG bathroom, no Jimmy: don't mean I loved every minute of it Jimmy: or that I wanna relive it right now with you Janis: k, just tryna kill the mood, baby Janis: calm you down Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: lighten up, me they're chatting shit about Jimmy: and it weren't me who invited her here Jimmy: stop being a knobhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: shut up Janis: what's actually wrong with you Jimmy: I don't wanna talk to you if you're gonna take the piss Jimmy: nowt wrong with that Janis: when did I Jimmy: This job is crap and I don't wanna do it but I ain't got rich parents Jimmy: so yeah, I have to clean up after dickheads all day Jimmy: and they get to say whatever they want to me while I'm doing it Janis: it's you who's assumed my parents are minted, you ain't once asked me about 'em and I ain't told you Janis: how far do you reckon 2 paychecks goes for 12 people, but nah, whatever, they got more than some Janis: but not so much that I'll never have to work a day in my life so don't come for me like I think I'm too good to clean a toilet or some shit Jimmy: Don't get at me when it's them you wanna Jimmy: we're supposed to be in this together Janis: I weren't getting at you Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Alright Janis: it clearly ain't but I weren't so I'm not apologizing for some shit you only think I said Jimmy: and I'm not starting something with you 'cause they're annoying Jimmy: So alright Janis: Fine Janis: that we can agree on so we'll just leave it yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: the 🐕 with you? Janis: yeah Janis: taking her back Jimmy: do me a favour and leave her there Janis: weren't planning on bringing her if I do come through Jimmy: I mean at the park to get actually dognapped Janis: well don't take it on on the dog either Jimmy: I didn't like her long before 💀👑 were on my radar Janis: ain't her fault Jimmy: is Janis: she's only a puppy Jimmy: cute enough to get snatched then Janis: i'm not getting rid of your dog for you Janis: do it properly if you're going to Jimmy: just trying to get rid of that IOU for you Janis: sure Jimmy: You're really scared to owe me one, you Janis: scared and not wanting to are not the same thing Jimmy: that'll be why I said what I said Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off, what's there to be scared of Jimmy: You tell me Jimmy: What do you reckon I'm gonna do? Janis: shut up Jimmy: Easy, I'm faking I lost my voice either 'cause I'm 🤢 dying or 💀💀💀 from how well you nursed me Jimmy: theirs to keep guessing about Janis: ours to prove easy enough Janis: if we wanna Jimmy: Do you? Janis: I mean Janis: obviously I don't care but also Janis: why should they just get to go around being cunts all the time Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I also get that you badly miss Mr Lucas, babe but I ain't drank enough coffee for you to pretend I'm him 💔 Janis: 🤢 okay but don't Jimmy: I could take a few more shots before you get here but I might Jimmy: don't actually like it Janis: it's rank Janis: fuck the rest, being around the smell all day would be shit enough Jimmy: hang on, I'm gonna wipe off the chalk board outside and write that Janis: 😂 Jimmy: so inspiring baby 💕 Janis: if we could thin the crowd at all be ideal Janis: don't need the 👪👫s seeing this Jimmy: some of them did leg it pretty quick when Mia walked in Jimmy: not gonna want your kids or your fella seeing that Janis: honestly, meant to learn about death through a hamster, not your local 💀👑 Jimmy: well early in the day to try and teach them to spell anorexia Janis: thank god for spellcheck, eh babe? Jimmy: didn't have it when I communicated with her via napkin note but I think I managed Jimmy: will do if I don't think about what she'll do with it after Janis: basically sold your soul to the devil Janis: couldn't wait 5 minutes for me to get there Jimmy: already 👻 nowt she can do to me Jimmy: only come to life for you Janis: can't decide if 💕 or 🤤 that Jimmy: why not both? Janis: 😍 #whenhesthefullpackage Jimmy: give me everything you've got then Janis: you've changed your tune Jimmy: I've not Jimmy: been saying 🥇 or nowt since the start Janis: last night Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Janis: both had a few by then, not to mention knackered Jimmy: Go on Janis: well you said don't give you anything Jimmy: it ain't for me, it's for them Janis: yeah, I know Jimmy: So no need to hold back Janis: wouldn't be much point coming otherwise Jimmy: I've gotta be fake mute, you've gotta be fake loud Janis: really Jimmy: We can't both be 🔇 Janis: Jesus Janis: why are you being mute again anyway Jimmy: I lost my voice 'cause you're the best at bringing someone back from the brink of 💀💀💀 Janis: 'course I am Janis: well don't put me off, I have a plan Jimmy: I just had to let you know loudly and repeatedly even if it cost me this #goals accent Janis: sounds about right 😏 Jimmy: Obviously, I thought of it Janis: I mean, it's believeable for you but alright Jimmy: A boy can dream 💕 Janis: dream no longer Janis: [post up hoe] Jimmy: [get ready lads and I don't just mean you gals] Janis: [least she'd always have her gym shit on her so can still have that moment] Jimmy: [yeah that's forever legit, and thank god he looks good in his uniform too or that'd be awkward like she's bringing it and he's blah] Janis: [when you're gonna have to just go for this lads] Jimmy: [he's gonna get a bollocking from his manager regardless we all know it, him most of all so nothing to lose] Janis: [when you come at him like 'I just missed you so much' loud/close enough that it's heard but you're already wrapping yourself around him] Jimmy: [when you have to be fake mute so it's all 😍 but it does mean you can just pull her even closer to you how he likes to do and go IN on kissing any part of her that'll get the best reaction, from her and the audience] Janis: [letting that happen for way longer than you need to before redirecting his mouth to yours so you can be loud without it being really indecent] Jimmy: [I feel like as much as they think they can read each other from all the make out seshs they've had he should've done something in that bit then that surprised him with how much she liked it even if they are pretending it's fake and he told her to be extra] Janis: [agreed like as much as it's all real it would be like the shock when they first kissed and she weren't bored so 100%] Jimmy: [just gonna put her on the counter for that mood and moment soz customers but like we're putting on a show here, not getting in trouble without making it worth it] Janis: [when you say his name and it's half 'cos you wanna half like are you sure] Jimmy: [when as much as you're pretending you've forgotten where you are you also have because so much pent up everything] Janis: ['come home with me' do you mean it or no we'll never know] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Mia's head exploding so get her down but onto the staff side with you so you can keep this going as you make your way towards the back like you're gonna continue this there/leave that way] Janis: [heheheheh] Jimmy: [obvs gonna keep kissing out there for a sec 'for realism' and in case anyone follows you like um what the fuck Jimmy are you leaving or wut not cos you wanna and you couldn't be closer and you haven't stopped since you started even when you were also moving, oh no never for that reason] Janis: [literal like in no world did they need this entire display also how you gonna stop, least his manager can come through to make that happen] Jimmy: [just like ahem #awkward because you know they wouldn't have stopped when he first appeared cos too into it so it's like EXCUSE YOU] Janis: [how shaming if either of you could care] Jimmy: [HOORAY for not feeling shame because yeah Jimothy you're gonna have to sit with him now and get told off looking that poor manager in the eye] Janis: [honestly you'd wanna die if you weren't so highkey distracted] Jimmy: [wait until Ian hears about this, he'll want you to die too] Janis: [nooooooooo] Jimmy: [no wonder he don't like Janis, no offense babe we know his actual reasons ain't that but] Janis: [she does get him fired we all know] Jimmy: [thank god he gets another job cos can you imagine if he couldn't they were all like no thanks you saucy bastard] Janis: [whoops, have to leave forreal] Jimmy: [how the hell are we gonna kick off a 'normal' convo between them after that MY GOD] Janis: how much trouble you in Jimmy: Not enough that I care Janis: good, not looking to + my IOUs that hard Janis: worked though, yeah Jimmy: How many stories has Mia posted? Janis: [screenshot of the longest line of stories ever but she's only on the first one 'cos not watching] Janis: more detailed than 24 hour news Jimmy: I get that I ain't the focus on her obsession, but get my angles, fuck's sake Janis: 💔 Janis: be more blatant, girl Jimmy: This plays like the Love Actually wedding video Janis: 😂 Janis: Keira should've told her husband to sort his friend, honestly Jimmy: I'm waiting for my full crop and her floating bobble head where mine were Janis: literally gonna haunt my nightmares, thanks Jimmy: Soz, I ain't seen her commit that edit yet if that helps Jimmy: we all know you can afford the software girl, sort it out Janis: no time if she wants to break the story Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it wouldn't take long if she knew what she was doing Jimmy: could've asked me Janis: we all know now she's not arsed about you Janis: sorry, dear Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: brb jumping off the roof Janis: could you wait a bit Janis: so it doesn't look like an immediate reaction to me Jimmy: gimme something better to do then Janis: well, I was sure you'd be sent home Janis: dunno how you managed that, jammy git Jimmy: #effortless Janis: must be Jimmy: 😎 Janis: sure you've got loads of invites in your DMs then, boy Jimmy: Yeah but Janis: but what Jimmy: I don't fancy it, do I Janis: still up to me and me alone then, is it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: okay Janis: see what I can do Jimmy: a full day's work won't 💀💀💀 you, rich girl Jimmy: promise Janis: my sister might beat you to it anyway Jimmy: she can try 🏆💪 we've got a pact and I called it ages ago Janis: can argue that one with her, if you like Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have lost my voice going for it with Ian, not fazed by hers Janis: it's pretty grating tbh but you know Janis: nothing worse than the way she types Jimmy: Oi, there's nowt as annoying or loud as me Janis: don't need to lie to make you feel good about yourself Jimmy: Good Jimmy: a lie wouldn't Janis: and you're a cocky little shit without my help so Jimmy: with your help an' all though Janis: works for me Jimmy: I know Janis: what does that even mean 😏 Jimmy: What do you reckon it means? Jimmy: It means I know Janis: that definitely means you're chatting shit then Jimmy: If saying that I am works for you, babe Janis: 😑 taking the piss now Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: do what you've gotta do Janis: so fucking cryptic Jimmy: 🧩 me Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: OMG, smoking is NOT a personality trait Jimmy: I'm keeping you updated Jimmy: like a good boyfriend Jimmy: my whereabouts, what I'm up to etc Janis: subtle hint Janis: Mia teach you before she went? Jimmy: I weren't in the room as she 👀 it, remember Janis: on another 🪐 Jimmy: where you and her 😍💕💋💋 Janis: not funny, you Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: You gonna give me your update like a good girlfriend then or what? Janis: actually going gym Janis: as I've got the gear on, makes sense Jimmy: 💪🏆 gotta keep it goals babe Jimmy: one day I'll have to show you how it's really done, like Janis: 😂 Janis: ok, that was funny Janis: you've redeemed yourself, welldone Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you're scared I'll make you look a right tit Janis: mhmm Janis: scared I'll be overcome by how manly you are and all Jimmy: no need to be at the gym for that, mate Janis: just how you live your life Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you dope Jimmy: taking that as a compliment 😎 Jimmy: as only a 45 year old bloke can Janis: oh yeah, how's your 💘 after that Jimmy: I ain't about to have a heart attack, you're alright Jimmy: one lung but there ain't nowt wrong with the rest of my organs Janis: good to know Janis: though my case to sue you is definitely more viable anyway Jimmy: 💰💰 talks and you've got more of it to chat bollocks about me with Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: You loved it, I've got enough witnesses Janis: very unreliable Janis: they all hate me Jimmy: I will an' all if you drag me to court Jimmy: ain't got a suit or owt and I ain't buying one for you unless we 💍 Janis: fake marriage is too far, we agreed Janis: though would LOVE to ask them all to be my bridesmaids so I could dress them in the ugliest shit and watch the meltdowns ensue Jimmy: Go on, all marriages are fake any road Janis: just string out the engagment and planning then blow that shit up on the day Janis: s'a proper finale Jimmy: knew you'd get it 💕 Janis: suck on that pregnant amie Janis: steal your ✨ Jimmy: if she'd left it at that she might not be 🤰 Janis: don't make me laugh Jimmy: why? not enough cardio for you or? Janis: 'cos I'll look mental and not the new image I'm going for, tah Jimmy: Fine, I'll make you 😳 Janis: you can try Jimmy: [sends her a pic of all those epic love bites she did cos they'd look WILD the next day like] Janis: they look pretty Janis: very artsy Jimmy: proper Georgia O’Keeffe you Janis: 😒 I know she was the vag obsessed one, twat Jimmy: 'Course you do Janis: shut up Janis: not a moron Janis: or a lesbian Jimmy: Don't need to tell me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: Baby Janis: such a windup, you Janis: gotta have finished your 🚬 by now Jimmy: ain't that 👴 Jimmy: giving it my best go with my oxygen on Janis: cute Jimmy: So you want 75 not 45? Alright Janis: your type, not mine Janis: a fucked 45 is fine Jimmy: OUR type, babe, and I'm gonna find him Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 💕 Janis: stop being a goals fella and go do your job whilst you still got it Jimmy: that is my job Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: making me miss you and that Janis: if you don't you'll make me look bad Jimmy: couldn't obvs Janis: yeah her 😍 know no bounds, fair Jimmy: Oi, mine an' all Janis: awh, you jealous Jimmy: Of her? Jimmy: Yeah she's well close to 💀💀💀 and all I can do is wait Jimmy: 🚬💔🎻☕ Jimmy: #friendzonedbythegrimreaper Janis: always the bridesmaid, her Janis: you know you're 🥈 to my 🥇, baby Jimmy: you on the 🥊? Jimmy: that backhander really hit 😵😵😵 Janis: [selfie like pow pow] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [flirty posts and shit to keep it 'safe' haha] Janis: [as if anyone is doubting you rn, they seen enough lmao] Janis: you go this hard with your actual missus, like Jimmy: You've got her attention, be easy enough to go on and ask Janis: seriously Jimmy: What you reckon all that carry on at the CG dont matter to anyone but 👑💀? Janis: well idk do I Janis: why would I Jimmy: Talk of this town and the north Janis: at least any beatdowns will only be 📱 Janis: unless she likes you that much still she'll get on a plane or ferry, like Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: what outcome are you crossing your fingers for there Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: jussayin Janis: not fake fighting for you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not agreed to that level of soap drama Jimmy: where you draw the line that? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I mean Janis: not pregnant rn is she? Janis: fair game Jimmy: I should've opened with asking Jimmy: bit late now Janis: yeah, gonna look weird now Janis: subtlety is not your strong suit Jimmy: It's alright, it ain't hers either Janis: 👍 Jimmy: But I reckon if her hubby had it in him to put it in her since the last 🤰 she wouldn't be in my DMs Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: never know Janis: pregnancy makes you mental Jimmy: Yeah Janis: later then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [later] Janis: did kayleigh f invite you to her party too Jimmy: I dunno, did she? Janis: not your secretary Janis: check your dms Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: I ain't seeing her, have to crash 👮🚔 Janis: why am I so popular, damn Jimmy: gay icon Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: you actually want to go or Jimmy: Do you? Janis: idk Janis: ain't got nothing else on Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: hmm Janis: not sure what her identifier is, but she's alright, does sports science and shit too Jimmy: The party'll be alright an' all then Janis: doubt the squad'll be there so improvement on the last Jimmy: works for me Janis: if you're allowed, like Janis: ⛔ Jimmy: She gonna stop me at the door? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: nah Janis: guestlist can't be that exclusive if an invite found me Janis: not like we're bffs is it Jimmy: I'll go over the fence to be safe, leave a window open for me or whatever Janis: such a show-off Jimmy: You love a show, Juliet Janis: hm Janis: keep your feet on the ground, yeah Jimmy: Bit late for that 👻 Janis: 👏 alright, got me there Jimmy: right where I want you, babe 🎯💘 Janis: yeah, and where's that? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: gotta get those hourly updates Janis: could be ANYWHERE Jimmy: could be lost Jimmy: Where's this lass live? Janis: good question Janis: oh, like 10 minute walk from yours Janis: [the deets] Janis: easy Jimmy: might get there before my 👮🚔 co-workers then Janis: well i'll be ages Janis: and not 'cos i wanna be fashionably late Janis: so see you there Jimmy: I get it, looking proper #goals takes you longer than it does me 😎 Janis: 🙄 Janis: more like my gaff is in the middle of fucking nowhere and I ain't there rn but I can't go like this Jimmy: Where are you? Gotta be near 🛍 Jimmy: do your thing, rich girl Janis: who am I Jimmy: No idea, who are you? Janis: not a bitch who's gonna get new clothes for a party Jimmy: Alright, you can wear mine, stop begging Janis: however could I pull off such a 😎 look Janis: I daren't Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: never up for a challenge or owt Janis: what's challenging about your style Janis: been same since 1956 Jimmy: You pulling it off, so you said Jimmy: 🤷 if you can't, you can't Jimmy: see you when I see you Janis: and you lost your ability to detect sarcasm, alright Jimmy: might never have had it, how would you know? Janis: giving you benefit of the doubt that you ain't a total idiot but alright Janis: maybe not Jimmy: giving me what's dangerously close to a real compliment an' all there Jimmy: thank fuck you took it back before things got weird Janis: don't sound like me Jimmy: might not be Jimmy: can't 👀 or 👂 you Janis: yeah it's your biggest fan surprise Jimmy: that dickhead Jill is my biggest fan Jimmy: why I'm fake dating her Janis: get lost Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: Probably will in a bit Jimmy: dry your eyes til then Janis: have you got a problem, like Janis: your sense of direction is for shit Jimmy: It's how they keep northerners in the north, mate Jimmy: ain't even allowed to leave in a ⚰ Jimmy: but 🤞 they bury you right way up Janis: you mean you don't want god to kiss your ass? Janis: seems like something you'd be about Jimmy: He ain't really my type Jimmy: 👴 maybe but a bit of a knobhead Jimmy: and there's the not being real Jimmy: got a fake girlfriend already tah Janis: one to talk 👻 boy Janis: that's just a third of his personality and it's your whole schtick Janis: jealous, clearly Jimmy: You reckon I'm jealous of everyone I ain't Jimmy: getting a bit awkward now Janis: is it Janis: sensitive and all Janis: n'awh Jimmy: I get it, you're that in the dark Jimmy: hang on, I'll put my 📸 on Jimmy: sort you out Janis: about what Jimmy: It's no bother, dark corners can be very #goals Jimmy: just don't 🙀🙀🙀 Jimmy: know what you're like, Jasmine Janis: cats ain't afraid of the dark, boy Jimmy: You don't play by the rules, girl Jimmy: or do you now? Janis: how much do you think has changed in one afternoon? Jimmy: Been a bit since I last had an #update from you Jimmy: could be owt or nowt Janis: ain't the only one capable of mystery, like Jimmy: Good Jimmy: this party'll be shit if I am Janis: what do you reckon you can get away with when you're my plus 1 Jimmy: my name ain't down but I'm still coming in Jimmy: do owt else I want once I manage that Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you know what I'm saying Jimmy: Make up your mind, am I stupid or what? Janis: you're being it if you reckon you can get with someone when I'm at the same party Jimmy: I never said that's what I reckoned Jimmy: I get that you're new to it, but there's more than one way to be mysterious Janis: everything is always about sex, end of Jimmy: For you paddys maybe Janis: pretty sure it's universal but alright Janis: whatever Jimmy: Are you? Janis: am I..? Jimmy: Are you so sure I wanna fuck some girl at this party even though I've been doing all this bollocks to stay single Jimmy: well done Jimmy: You've cracked it, like Janis: 1. single doesn't mean abstinent Janis: 2. why do you say stupid shit that sounds a certain way then get pissed when I take you at said dumb fucking thing you said Janis: 3. i don't care who you do or don't fuck but if that's what you wanna do, probably don't have me there for it Jimmy: I'd ask why you take everything the wrong way but that's obviously what you wanna do Janis: just say you're talking bollocks if that's what you're doing Janis: but also take it somewhere else 'cos I don't need it Jimmy: It ain't but go on and piss off yourself if you like Janis: First good idea you've had Jimmy: Take it then Janis: do what I like, thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: and I got invited so how about you don't come Jimmy: You said it yourself, no way you're getting there 1st Janis: fuck you Janis: you don't even know her Jimmy: I don't know anyone Jimmy: race you 😘 Janis: poor you Jimmy: Lucky me Jimmy: Poor you Janis: don't need your sympathy fake or otherwise Jimmy: Fake or not, you ain't having it Janis: 💔 Janis: oh no Jimmy: Ill play the 🎻s when I'm on the clock if it's alright with you Janis: I don't care what you do as long as it's not at this party Jimmy: 💔💔😭 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: You finished? Janis: with this convo Janis: why not Janis: with you in general Janis: sadly no Jimmy: Tah for the detailed update Janis: what you asked for Jimmy: 💕 Janis: hope you find your way back home at some point Jimmy: can't stay pissed off at me you Janis: if you leave, sure Janis: your standards are that low Jimmy: Don't worry, staying aint part of my plan Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [we should skip to this party which he obviously gets to first, damn you Cali and your postcode] Janis: [this is such a bad idea like always] Jimmy: [living for it] Janis: [just showing up and avoiding your boyf like hmm okay lmao] Jimmy: [at least he's avoiding everyone anyway cos antisocial bastard so makes it less obvious that he's even there] Janis: [at some point y'all are both gonna end up at the drinks so] Jimmy: [we know that is where he's forever at getting drunk (great idea boy) unless he's outside 🚬 so easy done] Janis: [i die just like sup] Jimmy: [so will he when he sees her serving a look] Janis: [at least you can 'pretend' you've had a domestic, be that couple for the night but still, probably acknowledge each other's existence 'found your way then'] Jimmy: [believable that you could have cos nobody else needs to know he don't give a fuck about his manager or getting in trouble and everyone would be talking about earlier still. He shrugs because always. 'without your help or owt, almost like I dont need you'] Janis: ['well let me know when it stops being almost and I can get on with my shit, yeah? taking a can/bottle/whatever and walking away like good talk] Jimmy: [5ever watching her walk away] Janis: [why are you two here, being such delights lollollol] Jimmy: [Im gonna say he is playing drinking games because peeps have been trying to get him too since he got there cos of that new boy shine honey and theyve worn him down cos hard to resist a challenge or a drink] Janis: 🏆💪 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: even when you lose, it's a win Jimmy: 🥇 or 🤢 Janis: not if you can handle your drink Jimmy: they can't, soz to piss on your expectations Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🍀💔 Janis: tunes can't get much more morbid Jimmy: change them then Janis: won't change the crowd but yeah maybe Jimmy: You've handled worse Janis: don't be so hard on yourself Jimmy: Why would I, got you for that Janis: come on Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: never off the clock on that one, you Janis: ain't personal Janis: don't get to feeling special for it, like Jimmy: 👌 Janis: anyway, you give it back so don't act like you're 😢 Jimmy: I ain't acting tonight, tah though Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: try not to need a 🚬 for the next 5 k Janis: [goes out, obvs] Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good, don't need your death on my conscience Jimmy: I know 😇 you Jimmy: be alright Janis: not likely Jimmy: What do you want me to say to that? Janis: say what you want, you ain't acting Jimmy: fucked if I wanna say nowt Jimmy: already done mute to 💀💀💀 today Jimmy: and I gotta stay alive for a bit Janis: so that's my fault, yeah Jimmy: Nah Janis: it's not my fault people won't get off your dick because you're the new boy Jimmy: never said it were Janis: you treat me like it is Jimmy: and you treat me like what? Janis: how am I meant to treat you Jimmy: how am I meant to treat you Janis: I don't fucking know Janis: you're this weird kid who just asked me to do this crazy scheme with him and I'm the idiot who said yes, I guess Janis: but I don't think you knew what you were asking any more than I knew what I was going along with Jimmy: Stop it then Janis: why should it be me Janis: and why is that all you have to say Jimmy: Why shouldn't it be you, that were the plan Jimmy: and why would I say owt else when that's where this is going Janis: a plan you changed Janis: and acting like you have no stakes in whether it ends now or not makes it make even less sense Jimmy: Change it back Jimmy: not acting, remember Janis: then tell the fucking truth Jimmy: I fucking did Janis: what's the point Janis: alright Jimmy: There ain't any, that's what we're both saying Janis: least not one we're happy to admit to Jimmy: You're so Janis: we're gonna go for this again Janis: didn't work last time but go on Jimmy: Piss off Janis: why can't you say it Jimmy: this is fucking stupid Janis: yeah no shit Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: why did you come Jimmy: Why did you? Janis: to see if you would Janis: probably get drunk Jimmy: There you go then Janis: no you can't steal my answer Janis: then you'll just say you never actually said it and it's just bullshit to hide behind Jimmy: I'm here, that's my answer Jimmy: it weren't cause I desperately wanted shots to do to a shit soundtrack Janis: okay Janis: then go Jimmy: is it? Janis: if that's the only reason you're here Jimmy: I came here for you, you twat Jimmy: but alright, I'll go for you then Janis: don't just Janis: why is it like pulling teeth Jimmy: fuck you Janis: why Jimmy: I didn't sign on for this Jimmy: I can't just Janis: you think I did Jimmy: no Janis: you are literally the only other person who can get it and also the one fucking person who won't talk about it Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Jimmy: that this is Jimmy: or that I Janis: that it's not just Janis: fuck Jimmy: You know it's not Jimmy: every dickhead knows it's not Janis: I can't be Janis: I don't wanna be what we've pretended Janis: I ain't but Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: you know Jimmy: I wanna know Jimmy: come here Janis: where are you Jimmy: on the stairs Janis: [comes in Jimmy: [the eye contact bitch] Janis: [when that's all you're doing 'cos you suddenly can't move like] Jimmy: [deer in the headlights moment but dont worry babe hes gonna move and pull you SO close to him that you will die] Janis: [least that would kickstart you into being very clear with what you want] Jimmy: [likewise cos once you do start it's just like a not at all casual free for all of everything you both want] Janis: [heaven help anyone tryna use them stairs like excuse me] Jimmy: [you better find another way peeps because they cannot be tamed rn] Janis: [breaking away to be like 'we can just try it, right?'] Jimmy: [just nodding because if he speaks hes gonna say too much and none of us are ready] Janis: ['no phones, no fans'] Jimmy: [throws his phone to one side dramatically because that bitch] Janis: [when you lol but are also genuinely like 😍 so we back at it] Jimmy: [Its a good thing the squad arent here cos they would know he aint mute LOL so much so you have to stop for a sec and once you do 'when I said I wanted to leave some shit to mystery, this is what I meant. All I meant. For a night, none of the usual bollocks. Just me and you'] Janis: [nods 'I believe you. All the rest just had me in a bad mood. I mean I always am but when-' shakes head 'doesn't matter now'] Jimmy: [moves her hair out of her face after she's shaken her head because #shameless need to always touch it okay and just looking at her like you can tell me cos she can 'go on'] Janis: [bites lip but in an actual nervous way not a saucy one though you know same effect 'I was just fed up with all the things getting in the way of...this, as was, so then when you mentioned your ex- like I don't care if you get back with her but it's why I was so' shrugs like you know] Jimmy: ['I want you to care about me getting back with her more than I'd ever wanna really get back with her' when you just blurt that out nbd quietly but still boy are you drunk enough to be chatting like that, excuse you] Janis: [when you're just looking at him like did I hear that right or am I also that gone and going so red, mumbling 'you know I do'] Jimmy: [nodding in the direction of up the stairs 'let's go up, there's too many dickheads can see us' because its awks and also no fans is meant to be the point] Janis: [yeah probably do find some privacy] Jimmy: [probably the room of this poor girl that didnt even invite him] Janis: like excuse me madam you did not ask for this at least they didn't have a blazing row and ruin your whole ass party] Jimmy: [him shutting the door but then just standing against the back of it like UM cos his turn to freeze, boy this is why you dont speak, going too hard when you do] Janis: [least she's not like we MUST talk now 'cos also the pressing matter of actually being able to make out and not film it or cater to a crowd] Jimmy: [omg just being able to do what you legit wanna] Janis: [a mood, let's hope this girl's room ain't too distracting, have to be going some like] Jimmy: [I vote for a double bed because they deserve that] Janis: [the luxury, get on that boys] Jimmy: [actually having some space in all the ways, imagine] Janis: [not that he's about it or her tbh we know] Jimmy: [but at least you wont fall out if you move guys] Janis: [are we gonna cockblock this before it can go all the way] Jimmy: [probably should cos the way we did their first time before was pretty swag from what I remember, not saying this wouldnt still be but] Janis: [agree though, and easily done like get out me room] Jimmy: [yeah and you can still get pretty far before then we dont need to be that mean] Janis: [things can happen honey] Jimmy: [theyd have to because you cant tell me they wouldnt take the opportunity to touch each other in all the ways you cant upload anywhere or let happen with an audience, shameless as you are, and therefore have had no excuse to do]] Janis: [truly 'cos how bad you would've rather been doing this and she'd be telling him as much] Jimmy: [he would blatantly tell her that too but dying too much so you will have to decode it from the eye contact and other sounds he is giving you instead babe] Janis: [when that's such a mood and I highly doubt how Harry was lol] Jimmy: [ugh god no, he's such a twat] Janis: [defs not thinking about that rn like whomst] Jimmy: [they are gonna be FUMING when they get kicked out of this room cos never enough when youve been waiting and holding back for any length of time] Janis: [literally like opened the floodgates honey this hasn't solved anything but we getting there bless] Jimmy: [you thought you two were frustrated af before hahaha] Janis: [gotta give a reason why they can't just go home together tho, actually] Jimmy: [ooh maybe they do but Ians heard about the CG antics so he kicks off when he hears them come back, lowkey waiting for that fight like] Janis: [that's a good idea also brb wanna die] Jimmy: [at least she can go to Mcvickers when he has to kick her out cos not far Janis: [not that Ian cares, dangerous frankly sir] Jimmy: [honestly she could get murdered you slag] Janis: [giving some time for them to argue but not that much 'cos highkey] Janis: you alright Jimmy: You? Janis: yeah 'course Janis: sorry I got you in shit Jimmy: You've done nowt wrong Janis: probably debatable that Jimmy: alright gimme chance to stop with this bellend and I'll debate it with you Janis: let you focus on that one 🥇 Jimmy: harder work than a latte him Janis: savage Janis: hope you hit him with that burn Janis: oh, forgot about yours Jimmy: I can do better than that me 🥇 Jimmy: oh shit, me an' all Jimmy: ✋ didn't fall off though, must be alright Janis: 🤞 or I've really fucked it with Ian Janis: no one wants a one-handed babysitter, even if he's live-in Jimmy: wouldn't be very goals for a boyfriend either Jimmy: I'd make it work but like a fake hand is going a bit far Janis: pretty macho Janis: pretend you lost it in a 🦈 attack Jimmy: can only be a duel, Juliet, come on Janis: damn, you right Janis: don't have a cousin who's in love with me though Janis: hope I don't, anyway, awkward to find out like this Jimmy: be fun round the Easter table Jimmy: 💔 I don't have any cousins Janis: Poor boy Janis: idk if he was related to that first bitch anyway so there's still hope Jimmy: I'd only be stuck looking after them too, ain't that 💔 or 💰 broke Janis: fair Janis: more trouble than they're worth in all areas Jimmy: got enough on with this dickhead dad Janis: yeah Janis: liked it better when he weren't there, tbh Jimmy: #same Jimmy: 🙏 for us when you're done making sure my hand stays on Janis: add it to the list Janis: hard work but a 😇 gotta do it Jimmy: good 'cause I wanna touch you again Janis: yeah? Jimmy: and 🤖 💕 not what I were necessarily thinking Janis: 😏 Janis: leave the vibrator at home okay Jimmy: hang on, can't turn down extra limbs if I've already lost one Janis: make up your 🧠 Jimmy: Oi, I'm thinking of you here Janis: so the considerate thing weren't an act, interesting Jimmy: shut up Janis: so cute 💕 Jimmy: I just Janis: it's alright, only pissing about Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: promise it is Janis: not an opportunist mugger Jimmy: 👴💕 Jimmy: want me so bad they're willing to do owt now Janis: bit rude to use me as collateral Jimmy: they might not have that long to live, be fair Janis: so that means I've gotta wait Janis: 😒 Jimmy: we've got a pact you ain't dying without me Jimmy: and not til you couldn't 💕 me more Janis: alright Janis: what's one more day Jimmy: only gonna feel like a slow 💀💀💀 Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: mean Jimmy: Baby Janis: don't Janis: I miss you but I actually mean it Jimmy: I Jimmy: where are you? I'll get myself there then Janis: don't get into more trouble or never actually see you again Janis: real starcrossed shit Jimmy: 👻💕 Jimmy: You reckon I've got into enough for you? I don't Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I can handle so much more, girl Janis: you can't come here Janis: let me think of something Jimmy: Alright Janis: okay, if I can get us a car, don't ask where it's from, yeah Jimmy: not actually a 👮🚔 babe Janis: good, 'cos my rep really can't handle that Jimmy: the rep I gave you can handle anything I also wanna give you Jimmy: including my dad's 🚗🔑 Janis: yeah? Janis: 'cos I got one for tonight, less likely to miss it than mr 😡 rn Jimmy: Less of a fuck you an' all but you're right Janis: don't need any more interruptions Janis: actual 🚨s included Jimmy: actual crashes too 'cause I'm a shit driver anyway Jimmy: not how I wanna kill you Janis: not how I'm planning on going out either Janis: I'm alright, and we need to be in the middle of nowhere so Janis: come to this address Janis: [mcvickers house soz i'm stealing your car lads] Jimmy: [should we let him go or not though?] Janis: [that's the real questions and I'm fine with it going either way at this point tbh, Ian would probably be being highkey but that could mean forcing him to stay in or kicking him out so you decide] Jimmy: [yeah exactly either is plausible as is her getting caught by Mcvickers so 🤔🤔🤔] Janis: [oh, might be good to burn that bridge for a bit so then she simply has to stay at his 'cos can never be home] Jimmy: [omg true lets do that then] Janis: [triggering everyone with your illegal driving like your sister ain't die] Jimmy: [its the only way Tess would be angry enough to be like get out tbh so real] Janis: [a new boy for you to hate in your old age god bless] Jimmy: [why not its been a while lol] Jimmy: ? Janis: fucking Janis: i'm Janis: you should go Jimmy: tell me you're alright or I'm going nowhere Janis: i am Janis: i mean i'm beyond fucked off but par for the course Jimmy: 👌 Janis: this is so stupid Jimmy: par for the course that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you have no idea 🙄 Janis: the ample opportunity we've had up until we actually need it takes the piss Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: same but Janis: don't mention it Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: exactly Janis: sincerity is scary, boy Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: be fucked if you weren't fit, Janet Janis: shut up Jimmy: you wanted insincere, mate Janis: no middleground, no Jimmy: very 🥉 thinking that Janis: go away Janis: don't have time for 2 arguments Jimmy: me either Janis: 🤐 or 😴 Jimmy: Alright Janis: any chance of your dad forgetting what I look like any time soon Jimmy: We were barely in the door Janis: not like he knows my name if you don't so 🤞 Jimmy: Gonna have to change it for him anyway, remember Jimmy: no ie ending no 💍 Janis: just a place to crash again is fine Jimmy: Julie's basically it any road Jimmy: won't miss the odd letter, will you Janis: my actual has 2 letters in common but yeah Janis: whatever works Jimmy: 🌹 whatever you're called, like #obvs Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not necessary tonight so give him time to get over it Janis: just you keep 😍 #obvs Jimmy: soon as I can get back in, I'll let you Janis: where are you gonna go Jimmy: It'll be morning in a bit and then I'll go work Janis: I am sorry Janis: make it up to you Janis: but there's no chance she's turning this car around to pick you up Jimmy: he don't need an excuse to be a prick Jimmy: and Ill survive a shift without my name badge Janis: still, he got one Janis: I left a blanket and shit at the park near yours last time, strapped under the ramp but it's usually gone if I leave it too long so Janis: but Jamie's the best 💔 Jimmy: that's like saying I deserve this, fuck that Jimmy: Jamie might Janis: nah Janis: you know what I meant Janis: and Jamie was into it okay, I'll have a word Jimmy: don't go near him, I don't trust that dickhead 😏 Janis: I'll try but Janis: hard to stay away Jimmy: I'll have a word then Jimmy: he's too 😍😍😍 for you if you ask me Janis: what's it to ya Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: just looking out for you, mate Janis: cheers 😏 Jimmy: You coming to the CG before your wanted posters go up then? Janis: once I've been delivered home for my 2nd bollocking Janis: not planning on sticking around Jimmy: I'm opening up for the rest of the hols as my manager's idea of mine Jimmy: tell them to get it over with and you can stick around here Janis: alright Janis: see you after my great escape then 🤞 Janis: you opening alone or you got your bff with Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the lass with the extensions? Yeah Tony ain't thought that through Janis: as if I've had 👀 for anyone but Pete, you fool Jimmy: What kind of rumoured lesbian are you? Jimmy: sort yourself out Janis: don't sound like my type Janis: fake? no thanks Jimmy: I mean, she ain't 💀👑 so I get you don't want the competition over tits Janis: fuck off Jimmy: her hair'll still fall out if you pull it, you can make that similarity with Mia work Janis: 😑 Janis: so unfunny Janis: good thing you're fit Jimmy: and I've got 😎 + 🚬 for my personality traits Janis: don't do it for me but sure Jimmy: that sounds dead fake but alright Janis: how does that sound like anything I've ever faked Janis: check your socials, there's way more 😍💕😘 Jimmy: I'd love to obvs but it ain't tomorrow yet Jimmy: and tonight we said none of that bollocks Janis: right Janis: how are we gonna do the fake shit though Janis: going forward Janis: still business as usual or 💀 Jimmy: Is that your way of saying you wanna fake break up to secretly date me or what? Janis: no Janis: idk Janis: is it gonna be weird Janis: weirder Jimmy: always were weird Janis: well yeah Janis: note that -er Jimmy: I don't see how it'll be owt different to faking shit when I didn't like you Janis: alright Janis: why not Janis: not not working Jimmy: we can just see how it goes Jimmy: play it by 👂 if you can leave me one 🧛 girl Janis: no promises 👻 boy Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you sure you want me coming in Jimmy: You don't wanna? Janis: I wanna see you Janis: you see my point Jimmy: I'll see if I can ban them all Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I mean Janis: gotta win your manager back 'round somehow Janis: order all the lattes you can, gals Jimmy: come and splash your own cash, rich girl Jimmy: won't need them then Janis: you want me to 💩 myself Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: proper kink for me that Janis: save it for the 3rd date Jimmy: you asking me out? Janis: depends Janis: you asking me to shit on you Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: You gonna be 💔 if I don't? Janis: obvs Janis: lifelong ambition Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: owt to please you I said Janis: is it the next day already 💕 Jimmy: If you want Janis: sounds like some good ole fashioned fake shit, is all Janis: but fair, can't hear over the 📢 coming at me rn Jimmy: You know me and habits Janis: honestly Janis: can't let it go eh Jimmy: wouldn't wanna scare you, easy done that Janis: 🖕 Janis: not that dependent on it, funnily enough Jimmy: 👌 Janis: the fans, that's another story of 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: let 'em down gently, babe Jimmy: what kind of bad boy Janis: the fake kind Jimmy: 🤞 the cancer risk is an' all Janis: should be vaping soft lad Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I know that's what you really want from me, babe Jimmy: but you'll have to find a lad who likes you enough to look that much of a twat Janis: then you don't know what I really want from you Jimmy: You gonna change your mind in a bit? Janis: if you're asking if I'll want a 🚬 after, don't be tight Janis: can spare me one Jimmy: Don't be a dickhead, whenever you've asked you've had Janis: and they say romance is dead Janis: not met you Jimmy: Tweet it tomorrow, like Janis: thought we'd started Janis: overachiever Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'owt to please you I said' you kicking us off Jimmy: Nah, it'd be fake if I said I didn't wanna when you know I do Janis: how long is your lunch and when Jimmy: I dunno when but I know it ain't long enough Janis: is that a humblebrag or actual though Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: 😒 Jimmy: What? Janis: not at you Janis: just the rest Janis: gonna go on a long fucking run Janis: nice knowing you if I end up in a different town, start again Jimmy: Alright Janis: got to wait for everyone else to fuck off Janis: ridiculous Jimmy: Swap places with me then Janis: alright Janis: get me a nametag, like Jimmy: Which one do you want on it? Janis: surprise me Janis: I'm method Jimmy: Yeah, love a surprise you Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: what you talking about Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't 😏 at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I don't know but don't be mean Janis: won't come and see you Janis: 💔 that Jimmy: you Jimmy: that's meaner than owt I've said Janis: I know Janis: don't play around, me Jimmy: 😭😭 me Janis: baby Jimmy: How drunk am I? Janis: if anyone asks, we ain't Janis: but probably a fair bit Janis: beer pong champ Jimmy: easy to get 🥇 when you ain't playing, pisshead Janis: dangerously close to a compliment Jimmy: Take it Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: should've just stayed on the stairs Janis: that's what we shoulda done Jimmy: We'd have been interrupted quicker doing what we were if we had Janis: probably Janis: don't reckon any of the party-goers would be as committed to the cockblock though Jimmy: Bit late to test your theory now Jimmy: have to be next time Janis: promise Jimmy: Do you or do I? Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: you Janis: that there's gonna be a next time Janis: proper one, real Jimmy: Come on Janis: say it Janis: wanna hear it Janis: and have it in writing Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: have that in writing Janis: what you pussying out for Jimmy: I already said I don't want you in and out on my lunch break Janis: fine Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: ain't forcing you to say nothing Janis: i don't care if you know i want you though, so have it Jimmy: Tonight you don't Janis: what Jimmy: You heard Janis: yeah and that's bollocks Janis: i'm not saying i'm in love with you or any of that fake shit, i'm saying i wanna fuck you Janis: have for ages so Jimmy: and I'm saying don't take the piss out of me 'cause I don't immediately say owt that I ain't been allowed to before now Janis: um i weren't Jimmy: Whatever Janis: i fucking weren't Janis: god forget it Jimmy: like that's easy an' all Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: so Janis: whatever it is, I'm sure I know Jimmy: 'Course you do Jimmy: know everything you Janis: yep Janis: that too Jimmy: Biggest fucking head in all of Dublin Janis: tell me it's unwarranted Jimmy: You make me feel like a massive idiot, that's what I'm telling you Janis: not what i set out to do Janis: and don't think you are, for the record but what do you want Jimmy: What do you want? Jimmy: nowt I say or don't is working for you Janis: I don't know, alright Jimmy: Dangerously close to the truth so probably not alright, is it? Janis: like you do Janis: now who's taking the piss Jimmy: Like I don't know what? What I want? Jimmy: that is a pisstake yeah Janis: well how would I know Janis: don't say shit Jimmy: 1. you do know Jimmy: 2. yeah I do Janis: whatever Jimmy: I'm not good with words that don't mean I'm not saying owt to you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: alright let's just Janis: it's been a long weird night Janis: we can leave it Jimmy: So now you want me to shut up? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I didn't say that, dickhead Janis: like I said, not trying to force you to say anything, that's not what I'm about Jimmy: I'm not thick, I know what leave it out means Janis: Jesus Janis: I'm trying to be nice for once Jimmy: Clearly not gonna work, that Janis: 👍 Janis: thanks Jimmy: Save it, better at faking that bit you Janis: fuck you then Jimmy: not unless your 2nd attempt at kicking a car is better than the 1st Janis: ha Janis: don't count on it Jimmy: I obviously can't Jimmy: but I were well aware you can't do owt right the first time so don't worry Janis: at least I get there in the end Janis: you did fuck all, as per Jimmy: Get where? Jimmy: you're nowhere same as I am Janis: not for long Jimmy: Impressive Janis: don't care what you reckon Jimmy: Make up your mind Janis: never have Jimmy: I know, you don't have any idea what you want, you said Janis: don't flatter yourself Janis: that's only about you and you don't feature in the big picture do you Jimmy: Why would I bother? Plenty of other dickheads to flatter me, including you earlier Janis: so? Janis: why do you reckon I'm gonna be embarrassed Jimmy: Why do you care what I reckon even as you're saying you don't? Janis: because it's worth a laugh Janis: it's just sex, plenty of people want you, plenty want me, who cares Jimmy: My entire reason for doing this is that I care about how wants me and doesn't Jimmy: who* Jimmy: and you'd throw me to them if you didn't Jimmy: So stop talking bollocks Janis: it ain't Janis: it's not that simple Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: You either give a shit or you don't Jimmy: and you either want me or you don't Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: and when you have just say it Janis: I said I do want you Janis: I literally said it and you rejected it outta hand Janis: just because I was trying to say how much of a headfuck it is because what's real and what's fake and what parts are both Jimmy: You also said that after you've had a go I can basically fucking vanish 'cause who cares Jimmy: loads of others Janis: I didn't say it like that Janis: or mean it like Janis: it's just weird alright Jimmy: You're weird Jimmy: I don't get you Janis: no kidding Janis: what would you rather, I was like them Jimmy: #obvs Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's the point in pretending Jimmy: Depends Janis: to get dickheads to leave you alone aside #obvs Jimmy: How shit is it gonna be to break the habit? Janis: shit Janis: nothing to say we can't stick at it 'til you're old news Jimmy: isn't there? Jimmy: I reckon owt's been said and done Janis: then it won't be hard to break the habit if that's what you think Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Fuck pretending then Janis: fuck pretending Jimmy: Don't be scared of me Jimmy: you can say or do owt you want Janis: why do you think I'm scared Janis: of you or anything Jimmy: because Janis: what, because I'm angry all the time Jimmy: because recognition Jimmy: I am, I know you are Janis: why are you scared Jimmy: Why is the why important? Janis: Deflection's easier, yeah Jimmy: 💔 then Janis: well you don't need to worry about that Jimmy: Yeah I do Janis: in general, yeah Janis: but not with me Jimmy: You think you're never gonna hurt me? Jimmy: wearing enough bruises for you already, aren't I? Janis: that weren't me, don't count Jimmy: cheat Janis: nah Janis: just saying, not my sport Janis: 💔 Janis: got no interested in breaking yours Jimmy: flattered, like Jimmy: but that's what every lass says Janis: so Janis: not every girl is me, been discussed Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: not like I know you, been discussed an all Janis: up to you if you wanna find out then Janis: but the idea you think I've got the time or energy to dedicate to that is insulting Jimmy: I get it, I ain't special, no need to go on about it Jimmy: heard you at bigger picture Janis: nothing personal Janis: no one is Jimmy: nowt is with you Jimmy: but you don't reckon I should be on my guard Jimmy: very suspect that Janis: you worried about being collateral, duck Janis: just saying, not gonna make it my life's mission to fuck you up Jimmy: and I'm saying you want me to tell you things, put myself out there when it don't mean owt to you Jimmy: how's that fair Janis: I never asked you to bare your soul to me Janis: I asked you to say you wanted to fuck me as well Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I did say that Jimmy: if that were all you wanted to hear you wouldn't call owt a headfuck Janis: I know you're vague on purpose Janis: that's why I asked you to say it, so it couldn't be taken back and said it was never said Janis: that's the headfuck Janis: all the previous shit can be wrote off as fake and neither of us can argue otherwise even if we wanna Jimmy: But if it's just sex which means fuck all to you or to me then why do you care what I say or don't after? Jimmy: that's why I don't get you Janis: same reason we started this Janis: everyone gets to talk shit on me Janis: not having it taken as gospel 'cos you put your dick inside me thanks Jimmy: I weren't about to screenshot and tweet out this convo once I did Janis: you're the only one that can be on his guard Janis: nah Jimmy: I'm the only fucker admitting that I am Jimmy: If you reckon I'm like that, like them, why would you even wanna do any of it? Janis: never said I reckoned that Jimmy: You think I'm gonna talk shit about you Janis: you could Janis: do it to my face plenty so why wouldn't you Jimmy: because I do it to your face Jimmy: go no reason to go anywhere else with it Janis: flattered, like Jimmy: just Janis: there's no way to guarantee any of this shit so we may as well agree to trust Janis: or not trust Janis: either or Jimmy: been worked out that we don't Janis: then it's settled Jimmy: is it? Janis: like I said, what we gonna do Janis: make a blood oath Jimmy: left my dagger up north, soz Jules Janis: then it definitely is Janis: letdown Jimmy: I'll delete my profiles then Jimmy: avoid you til school starts Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: Oh alright, what kind of fake break up do you want? Janis: have you been listening Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Have you? Janis: shut up, that's literally so far from the point of anything we were just talking about Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: go to hell Janis: seriously Jimmy: Tah for the holiday recommendation but the CG's only place I'm off to for a bit Jimmy: close but no 🚬 Janis: good, I hope you suffer Jimmy: 🤞 and 🙏 Janis: no need, you miserable prick Jimmy: not totally clueless then Janis: you wish Jimmy: I do wish you would catch onto a few, yeah Janis: heard you at avoid you til school starts, don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're an absolute cunt Janis: why would you get me to say it again just to Jimmy: Go on Janis: and all that bullshit about being scared about getting hurt too Janis: what the fuck Jimmy: Yeah, all of this is utter bollocks Jimmy: what the fuck is right though Jimmy: what the fuck else do you expect me to do? Janis: how the fuck do you take me REPEATEDLY telling you that I want you as 'I'm going to ignore you from now on, bye' Janis: literally are we having the same conversation Jimmy: How can you think telling me repeatedly what a low fucking opinion of me you've got of me is gonna put me in a 😍 mood? Jimmy: Or that this is a good idea when we don't trust each other Janis: where Jimmy: You want this to mean nowt and now there's nowt to worry about Janis: I never said I have a low opinion of you Janis: and you don't give a shit about what I want so don't even pretend for the bit Jimmy: how do you take me REPEATEDLY asking you what you want as not caring about the answer? Janis: when you do the opposite Janis: how else can I take that Jimmy: like I said, what else can I do? Janis: not what I want, apparently Janis: alright Jimmy: I really fucking like you, alright Janis: we don't even know each other, how many times have you said that Jimmy: not enough obviously Jimmy: if it didn't make any difference Janis: but Janis: why Jimmy: Why are you asking me like its my fault? Janis: not fault but I do everything Janis: did everything so this doesn't happen Jimmy: It might be fake Jimmy: a headfuck like you said Jimmy: everything just Janis: you think so Janis: yeah you liked fake me Janis: you don't like me, you say it all the time Jimmy: that'd make more sense Jimmy: but tonight was real and I liked that too Janis: this is a mess Janis: i am Janis: you shouldn't get involved just 'cos I wanna Jimmy: but it weren't one sided Jimmy: everything we did earlier I wanted to do it Jimmy: and everything we still haven't Janis: it'd be easier if we hated each other Janis: its okay if I like you but you shouldn't like me Jimmy: just do me a favour alright Janis: what Jimmy: keep being real with me so I can work it out Janis: i don't want to hurt you Janis: i don't know or care how i put it before but i don't Jimmy: I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: might be that tonight's a fluke, I'm drunk and you're fit, not gonna not be into it Jimmy: you Janis: alright Janis: then it's a deal Jimmy: What? Janis: I'll keep being real Janis: like you asked Jimmy: Promise Janis: promise Jimmy: Alright, I swear I'm sorry Janis: what for Janis: not saying there's so much you gotta be specific but Jimmy: Making this weird Jimmy: weirder Janis: weren't one-sided either Janis: it's what it is Jimmy: Will you still Janis: come see you? Jimmy: Do you still wanna? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Okay Janis: besides, someone needs to make sure you don't die on the job Janis: bring you some caffeine that doesn't taste like shit Jimmy: and deny Ian the pleasure of doing me in? What kind of son would I be Janis: so your dads a real dick yeah Jimmy: you were warned Janis: we need to pimp out your shed so you got a place to sleep Janis: I was thinking Jimmy: the trampoline's alright, like you said Jimmy: can't remember how you did but you liked it Janis: when it's warm-ish out, yeah Janis: was comfy Janis: you or that dog woke me up though Jimmy: It's always warm out compared to Manchester Jimmy: why I need my 😎 Jimmy: and everything is always the 🐕 never me Janis: take your word for it on both of those Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I get why you reckon it'd be easier for us to hate each other but I hate Ian and nowt is for it Janis: yeah Janis: you're right Janis: there's nothing easy about hate it's just Janis: more familiar, idk Jimmy: the 💔 is different Janis: right Janis: if you already hate them, then it's not as shit, yeah Jimmy: At least you don't love me, it's even shitter when it's both together Janis: yeah Janis: headfuck doesn't begin to cover it Jimmy: @ my mum if she still used her profiles Janis: you don't know? Jimmy: She ain't logged in for years, why do you reckon I'm so tempted Janis: can't blame her Jimmy: who could compete with Iantaylor8 for online presence Jimmy: other than us Janis: well exactly Janis: also be a bit rude to deny the world your face Jimmy: yours Jimmy: so I'll keep my 📷 one Jimmy: maybe Janis: as long as you don't avoid me too Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: then don't Janis: I don't want you to either Jimmy: tell me again tomorrow Jimmy: when I'm less Janis: gotcha Jimmy: it just hurts more now Janis: i'm sorry Janis: do you want me to come? i don't have to Jimmy: you didn't do this Janis: what do you need, let's start there Jimmy: Now? Janis: yeah, now Jimmy: Tomorrow Jimmy: it needs to be tomorrow so I can see you Janis: baby Janis: you can see me today, it's alright Janis: I'll help you at work, it'll all be good Jimmy: I'm not letting you serve lattes to any of those dickheads Jimmy: you're too good Janis: shh Janis: i wanna help you somehow, i've gotta Jimmy: Do you wanna just 💀💀💀 them? Jimmy: me and you Janis: killing spree then a death pact is a solid chain of events but probably want to start in a better state, don't we Janis: 💪🥇 Jimmy: can be an utterly new pact if there's enough poison to go round Jimmy: you don't have to die at the end Janis: what about you? Jimmy: Did you forget? 👻 Jimmy: already am Janis: how could I Janis: is your manager actually in today? what if we contact that Pete kid see if he'll cover for you Janis: you should get some proper sleep, in an actual bed Janis: I can persuade him Jimmy: OMG you wanna use me to slide into his DMs Janis: boy, focus Janis: not really the sexiest approach, please do some overtime for my boyfriend Jimmy: 👀 on your 😍 girl Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: you gonna answer any of that or Jimmy: I don't know if my manager is supposed to be in Jimmy: probably won't be either way though Jimmy: Oh the money, power and the glory Janis: you can but dream, yeah Janis: well it's up to you then Janis: but it'd probably be worse if you were in and in this state so what he don't know Janis: can't get you sacked Jimmy: I don't have any other place to go though, do I Janis: won't he be at work by now himself? Janis: can come back to mine if not, no funny business Jimmy: he's not the one I care about Janis: your brother and sister? Jimmy: I'm not gonna wake her up to let me in Jimmy: or let him see me like Janis: right, okay Janis: we'll sort you out first Jimmy: Didn't reckon all that fake nursing training you had would really come in handy, eh? Jimmy: can't help being goals Janis: bit of an extreme length to go to for some TLC but I'll allow it Janis: I'm on my way now so just hold on, yeah Jimmy: I mean, it's fairly standard for me but alright Janis: how you pull all the birds is it Jimmy: Babe, I'm just SUCH a lad, yeah? Jimmy: get drunk, have a scrap, nick my dad's scotch and get MORE drunk Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: gotta be done Janis: I get it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: fit right in on this bus Jimmy: don't get 💀💀💀 after we've changed the story in favour of your survival Jimmy: bit rude Janis: try my best Janis: don't victim blame me Janis: please and thanks Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: blaming you for nowt Jimmy: 😂 bit soon? Janis: hmm, don't get cheeky, like Janis: just 'cos you're a patient today Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: just a bit then Janis: trying to be nice Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: I won't be cheeky enough that you kick me out of bed Janis: you're always nice, babe Janis: little ray of sunshine Jimmy: anyone can be nice Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🌩🌪 Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: You know when you're a kid and you count Jimmy: that's what it's like waiting to see you Janis: you're gonna make me Janis: forget to be professional Jimmy: not on the clock til you get here, it's alright Janis: I'm mostly worried about when I do get there, like Janis: not that I'm about to give the bus a show Jimmy: don't worry I'll take care of you too Jimmy: we're a team Janis: yeah, we are Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're alright, you know Janis: you know I think you're alright Jimmy: I will be when you show up Janis: such a smoothtalker, honestly Jimmy: I know you didn't think all that were fake Jimmy: come on Janis: there's only so far you can get with no inspiration, yeah Jimmy: good thing you're 🎨 or we'd have been exposed as frauds ages ago Janis: we're a pretty good team, all things considered Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: yep Janis: shame you can't put relationships on CVs Jimmy: I can't pay you owt either 💔 Janis: don't need it Janis: or want it, like Jimmy: but decent headshots could get you a modelling job 📷 not 🎯 Jimmy: I could do that Janis: then we could both go Janis: no 💀 Jimmy: might work Janis: start of a plan Janis: we have such a good track record, like Jimmy: 💀👑 would 💀🤯 Jimmy: ⚰🎊🍾 Janis: just when she thought she couldn't be any more jealous Jimmy: I can give motivational speeches as my 2nd job too cause I felt it with every emoji Janis: very empowering, babe 💕 Jimmy: onto something Janis: reckon so Janis: just don't bang EVERY model you shoot Janis: get well shaming Jimmy: They'd have to all be as fit as you Janis: practically in the job description Janis: unless they're the 'unique' kind Jimmy: there's loads in mine I don't do Janis: 😱 employee of the month Janis: shh Jimmy: you'd vote for Pete anyway Janis: don't think they follow democratic process Janis: and how dare you, Jamie is the backbone of that place Jimmy: still Jimmy: you would Janis: nah Janis: you deffo would though Jimmy: I'd vote for myself Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: #selflove Janis: can respect it, boy Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 1. how much scotch did you drink Janis: 2. did you text your ex anything you should delete before you sober up Jimmy: if you're asking if there's any left for you 💔 I fucked up Jimmy: as for Hayley, she's been told to fuck off by half the north, she'll live Janis: could be worse then Janis: not for me, obvs Janis: but same Jimmy: I don't wanna get back with her, you know that, right? Janis: not my business either way Jimmy: Alright but do you have to say it like that? Janis: how do you want me to say it Jimmy: if its how you feel then Janis: look Janis: I'm glad I don't have to share your attention right now Janis: 'course I am but I don't need to sound possessive about it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is it Jimmy: Before, you said Jimmy: maybe I can't remember it right though Janis: no go on Janis: it's cool Jimmy: I dunno, I just Jimmy: reckoned you needed to hear that Janis: I did think maybe Janis: just some things you'd said too but it's Janis: you know Jimmy: you go on Janis: well like I said, not my business if you were Janis: but yeah, I thought you were Janis: I'd get it Jimmy: I wouldn't get it Jimmy: I trusted her and she Jimmy: It don't even matter anymore Jimmy: I made a mistake doing that and she made hers Janis: it's okay, you don't owe me an explanation Janis: I don't know her or your situation Janis: I just thought, from my limited perspective, you hate it here, it'd be a link to home, even if it was a bad one, like Jimmy: I hated it there an' all Jimmy: just 'cause I didn't ask and weren't asked to come here don't mean I wanna go back Janis: oh Janis: well that I get Jimmy: you had it right when you called me a miserable prick or whatever it were Janis: bit harsh though Janis: shit's shit Janis: you'd be an idiot if you didn't see it Jimmy: 🌧☔ me Jimmy: I'm alright with it by now Janis: yeah? Janis: that's something then Jimmy: everything's shit everywhere Jimmy: nowt gonna change next place he drags us Janis: wherever you go, there you are Jimmy: might get a new mum, might not Jimmy: might hear from my actual, might not Janis: she don't even call Jimmy: and say what? Janis: fucked Jimmy: they both were Jimmy: are Jimmy: and so are us kids Jimmy: ⚪ Janis: yep Janis: get out early as you can Janis: and don't have kids yourself Janis: only poem I've read that's any use Jimmy: 💔 that age 6 is probably pushing it a bit Janis: give it a few more years of shit and you can get away with it Jimmy: I'll start him on the poem anyway Janis: Larkin's dead easy Janis: debatable how appropriate but I'd go for very so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so we're going back to mine first Janis: or what Jimmy: You made this plan Janis: you gonna comply Jimmy: Depends Janis: that's what I was 🙀 of Janis: go on Jimmy: my 🙀💕 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: What's your house like? Janis: old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere Janis: perfect place for the local nutters to reside Jimmy: well now I'M 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you should be Janis: nah, you'll be able to get a decent kip, they're all doing their own shit and giving me disapproving looks if they know what's good for 'em Jimmy: Alright, protect me then Janis: always, babe Jimmy: I'm being dead serious Janis: 1. what makes you think I ain't Janis: 2. why Jimmy: just Janis: we can sneak in Janis: well, we can try but I don't know how well you'll do, pisshead Jimmy: Shut up 🏆💪 Janis: happy to be proved wrong Janis: it'll all be good though, promise Jimmy: stay close to me and you can every step Janis: I won't leave you on your own Jimmy: because you wanna stay or because you reckon I'll 🤢 and choke to 💀💀💀 Janis: you've made it this far without me, I'm not that bigheaded Janis: believe that or not Janis: I wanna stay Jimmy: even if I wanna die I wouldn't give Mia owt close to any satisfaction so that ain't the way for me to go Janis: hot Janis: keeping it petty, even in 💀💀💀 Jimmy: remind me to send it as a tweet tomorrow or something Janis: 'course Janis: that relatable suicidal/horny vibe, they get it Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: I think so Jimmy: I think no # would ever do you justice Jimmy: a voice memo is pushing it even with this top accent Janis: that laugh one you sent me was cute Jimmy: you do make me 😂 girl Janis: I know Janis: got the evidence for all time now 💕 Jimmy: keep it Jimmy: I'll be back as a 👻 fucking up all your electronics baby Janis: dunno what you got against 🍆s Jimmy: if they're not in you then nowt Janis: 😂 Janis: new levels of jealousy that Jimmy: is it? Janis: new to me Jimmy: Soz then Janis: don't Janis: don't need to be, like Jimmy: but if it's weird Jimmy: or too like Janis: it ain't Janis: its Janis: it ain't Janis: I wanna hear it all Janis: don't hold back okay Jimmy: You wanna hear what bits you do then you want me to shut up is what you mean Janis: would've said it if that's what I meant Janis: just 'cos I don't know what to say don't mean you can't say it if you wanna Jimmy: it's what everyone means, nowt personal Janis: you're just so chatty, like Jimmy: You just bring it out in me Janis: 'course Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: have to write you a poem now I know you're such a fan Janis: 😂 Janis: go on, he was always drunk Janis: will be a masterpiece Jimmy: Alright, shut up and let us crack on Janis: such a 🎨 temperament Janis: 🤐 alright Jimmy: [a selfie of his adorably drunk concentration face like 🤔 with a pen in his mouth and everything] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: shhh Jimmy: OMG Janis: your fault Jimmy: Girl if you don't 🤐🤐🤐 Janis: or what, boy Jimmy: You'll show up and I'll show you Janis: mhmm 😏 Janis: reckon you've got like 5-10 so write fast Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nearly done Janis: dread to think Jimmy: Oi🥇 muse and top content Jimmy: so rude Janis: just a sext that rhymes, yeah? Jimmy: You ain't having it now Jimmy: gonna 🔥 it dramatically in this bin Janis: let's not play with fire tah Janis: and don't be mean Jimmy: you Janis: I'm joking Janis: I'm sure it's 🔥 Jimmy: [a poem that I don't have the talent to actually write soz lads] Janis: it actually is Janis: how did you do that Jimmy: I told you got a 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 muse in you Jimmy: keep up with what I'm saying, Janet Janis: but really Jimmy: What? Janis: you're good, that's all Jimmy: Baby Janis: I mean it, like Janis: no bullshit Janis: english teacher must love you Jimmy: she don't Jimmy: too much 🎨 in my margins Janis: can't be tamed Janis: maverick Jimmy: rebel with just that one cause still Janis: 'course baby Jimmy: if you ain't wearing your pjs why would you even be here, like Janis: you can see 'em when we get back Janis: sure you've missed them Jimmy: gonna make me 😭😭 Janis: emotional drunk Janis: it's alright, won't tell Jimmy: emotional support PJs Janis: 😂 don't get to be a funny one and all Jimmy: can do it all me Janis: 😍 Janis: just need to sleep, alright Jimmy: you wanna 🥊 or 💋? Jimmy: working through the list Janis: you know we can't do either yeah Janis: not drunk as you now Janis: nothing if not fair, me Jimmy: can fix that for you Jimmy: unless your parents are teetotal or something Jimmy: even then can't live that in the middle of nowt, can you Janis: lol you have no idea Janis: wait and see Janis: and we're fixing you, not feeding my addiction Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know, how d'ya think I feel Janis: things I do for you Jimmy: I'll owe you though, you love that Janis: that's you but good to even the score Janis: can't lie Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: is that a subtle way to say I need to hurry or Jimmy: working through a list, I said Jimmy: gotta use the bin for something since you said no fires Janis: so demanding Janis: almost like I don't want you getting more burns Jimmy: that Freddy Krueger #aesthetic though 😍 Jimmy: love a stripy jumper me Jimmy: very slimming 💀👑 will double tap my OOTD faster than you can say no cheese Janis: you are technically a nonce so Janis: the fedora fits Jimmy: 😂 Janis: where are you then Jimmy: where am I Jimmy: good question that Janis: full of 'em, me Janis: gimme a clue Jimmy: 🍀 Janis: oh good, you ain't fled the country Janis: wouldn't be very good for my rep, that Jimmy: Looking for a bus has gotta be easier than looking for the one lad Jimmy: hang on Janis: how blurry are your 👀 Jimmy: I'll take my 😎 off, babe Jimmy: for you Janis: scandalous Janis: behave you Jimmy: #nudes Jimmy: 👀 Janis: dunno if I'll recognize you even Jimmy: 😱😱😱💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: supposed to know me anywhere you Jimmy: the films have fucking lied Janis: shit fake gf me Janis: always said it Jimmy: If you want a tea you'll have to wait til we get back Jimmy: or fake it of course Janis: wanna have a tea party Jimmy: Depends Janis: guest list? Jimmy: So who else is invited? Janis: only the best 🧸s in town Jimmy: Forget that twat 🧸 your sister hangs out with then Janis: 😂 Janis: deffo Jimmy: I dont want owt to do with him Jimmy: no trust there, like Janis: unless he makes his own way Janis: ain't risking that bear cave to bring him Jimmy: if he is owt like her Jimmy: 🥇 at turning up where she ain't wanted Janis: telling me Janis: 🤞 he's like his father Jimmy: yeah, your birth being one Jimmy: well awkward Janis: so rude, honestly Janis: fuming in that womb I was Jimmy: Well done on taking the spotlight every day since, mate Janis: 🤷 Janis: someone's gotta Janis: she'd melt Jimmy: the kind of commitment I need Jimmy: and you need on your CV Janis: always banking them transferrable skills Jimmy: might be the hottest thing you've ever said Jimmy: dunno but it's up there Janis: you're a lucky boy Janis: everyone knows Jimmy: fake 💍 ASAP then Janis: have to find me first Jimmy: Stop distracting me Jimmy: or be distracting IRL Janis: [find this boy lmao] Jimmy: [just like oh hey cos how far away can he really be] Janis: [exactly, when you've gotta wait for a bus straight back, go to a different cafe and get some breakfast kids] Jimmy: [state of him he needs it lbr] Janis: [just steering him like] Jimmy: [nice parallel to when he had to when she hurt herself on that trip lol] Janis: [just silently fuming at Ian's handiwork blatantly, actually getting a pot of tea too 'cos why not] Jimmy: [tea improves any situation okay bye] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [are they sitting next to each other or opposite? Real questions] Janis: [hmm, probably opposite on a lil 2 seater moment] Jimmy: [eye contact ftw] Janis: [plenty of time for snuggling later, oh the casual tension you're having to put aside rn girl, it fine lmao] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but actually no Im not haha] Janis: ['better?'] Jimmy: ['if things between us are' you know hes drunk when he answers a question] Janis: [nods but looks away like so casual 'course'] Jimmy: [when you're just trying to do something to make her look at you again but you end up just gently holding her face and looking into her eyes for 9 years] Janis: [bit deer in the headlights but allowing it still] Jimmy: [nods genuinely like okay I believe you as if she hasnt just come all this way to find you and take care of you bitch] Janis: [licks his hand like get off but also kisses it 'dope'] Jimmy: ['stop giving me such weird compliments'] Janis: ['stop taking insults as compliments, slag' 😏] Jimmy: [throws a sugar packet at her like how sweet] Janis: [puts it in his tea like energy] Jimmy: ['Oi, sweet enough me' but puts another one in anyway] Janis: 🍬🍨🍧🍭🍰 Janis: you Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 🤞 won't be any time soon Janis: ['try your best' shrugs 'like you said, ain't your fault though'] Jimmy: My fault he ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: I'll come through with the ☢️⚠️☣️ Jimmy: only so many times I can say tah before it's weird, you know Janis: won't tell if you forget your manners Jimmy: 😏 you'd like it is why Janis: shh Janis: return the favour Jimmy: not gonna say owt to anyone Jimmy: mute, remember Janis: can be as loud as you wanna, remember Jimmy: that middle of nowhere, is it? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: told you Janis: no one can hear you 😱 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: very shy me Janis: yeah, noticed Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but nearly knocks the precious tea everywhere cos drunkard] Janis: ['careful!'] Janis: I ain't got an apron and you can't be out yours yet Jimmy: [throws a napkin at her like sorted] Janis: [😑] Jimmy: sure you don't wanna 🥊, babe? Janis: stop being tempting Jimmy: never 💕 Janis: what am I gonna do with you, like Jimmy: What do you wanna do with me? Janis: [a LOOK 😳] Jimmy: [obviously giving her one back but shamelessly] Janis: [putting your finger to his mouth like he speaking] Jimmy: [you know they gotta go in his mouth in a saucy manner now girl he got no chill and cant be stopped] Janis: we're in public Jimmy: You're my girlfriend in public Janis: you see anyone else doing Janis: that Jimmy: if they were going out with you, I would see it, yeah Janis: you're wasted Jimmy: and what? Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Jimmy: it's won't not can't Jimmy: and that's only 'cause you said Janis: yeah okay Janis: but that's the right thing to do Janis: even if I don't wanna Jimmy: If it feels right to you then Janis: you know it is Janis: or you'll know later Jimmy: Later I'll be 😴💤 I won't know nowt Janis: that's the plan Janis: come find me after that, yeah? Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: nowhere Jimmy: might actually be able to find you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: believe in ya Janis: ['finish up' 'cos bus has to come eventually] Jimmy: [when you just give her a look like do you though? before necking that tea honey] Janis: [gathering their shit and holding the door open for him like come on boy] Jimmy: ['so romantic you' as he goes through the door like] Janis: [does a bow] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [takes her hand because if you cant handhold when you need to be kept upright when can you] Janis: ['least you'll definitely get a seat' 'cos can't be wobbling about the bus lmao] Jimmy: ['A northern 45 is a 95 anywhere else, only gotta spread the word a bit'] Janis: ['you're doing a great job with the psa, mate'] Jimmy: [IRL 👍] Janis: [sitting him down and she should have to stand busy bus vibe] Jimmy: [trying to move up as if she can share this seat with you like that unthinkingly but she not #smol] Janis: tah Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: considerate forever Jimmy: [gesturing that she can sit on you because not like she hasnt before and its all so casual lol lol lol] Janis: [a look like are you sure? also excuse them the like old lady he's probably next to heheheh] Jimmy: [a look like do you wanna stand for 13 years I dont think so] Janis: [shrugs and hops on] Jimmy: [wrapping his arms around her like a seatbelt even though shes not gonna fall off and we know you just are doing a little hug moment boy] Janis: [so soft] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [a moment even if you're dying slightly] Jimmy: [just really leaning his head on her so casually here too nbd] Janis: [stroking his hair and sneaky checking the bruises and stuff] Jimmy: [he started it but its too soft and hes dying like] Janis: at least you look cool Janis: [is sad face tho] Jimmy: [makes her sad face a smiley face by smushing it] Janis: [lols 'excuse me'] Jimmy: helping you look if not 😎 then 😊 Janis: you're sweet Jimmy: you not gonna do the emojis this time? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: baby Jimmy: [😍 in this close a proximity, not a good idea boy, but here we are] Janis: you're just very Janis: distracting Janis: [so much eye contact] Jimmy: [when you say 'you' out loud so you don't have to break it by looking down at your phone to type] Janis: [annnnnd hold, just internally debating if you can kiss him or not morally] Jimmy: [we all know he would be leaning in to kiss her and then would so] Janis: [go with it girl, it's okay] Jimmy: [don't mind them bus peeps they just gotta have a moment] Janis: [lmao the tutting they don't even notice rn] Jimmy: [deal with it slags they are in love] Janis: [the level of restraint you need to keep it just at a makeout moment tbh, the old lady should need to get off like ahem lol] Jimmy: [honestly its been SUCH a night and they are gonna be on this bus for ages yet gdi, off you go 👵] Janis: [least they've got two seats now, spread out] Jimmy: [but never that much you clingy bitches #same] Janis: [lbr would've taken you longer than necessary to get off his lap] Jimmy: [a mood] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [has to kiss her again obvs because they stop when they want not when a 👵 says so] Janis: [which is lowkey never but it's fine, long bus journey] Jimmy: [at least you can take advantage of having slightly more space to basically swap over so he's all but on top of her now instead, the tuts would be LOUD haha] Janis: [just being like 'don't get too comfy' 😏 between kisses] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK because unrepentant af about any of this soz passengers] Janis: [when you have to be the one with some control lmao good luck] Jimmy: [at least theres plenty of other people on this bus to tell you to get some LOL] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪🔪 Janis: 👴👵🚨👮⛓ Jimmy: 👵💔👴 Jimmy: so jealous them Jimmy: 👮🚔 will be an all Janis: yeah you're pretty cute Jimmy: you Janis: you wanna 🥊 so bad Jimmy: not what I most want but alright Janis: really Janis: maybe you should be clearer Jimmy: [more kisses that are more extra, look away people] Janis: I get it Jimmy: You sure? Janis: ['You know you wanna' and a LOOK] Jimmy: [forever returning those looks bitch and you can have some lovebites too girl cos its been a minute for you] Janis: [into it] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [just taking photos of said bruises like it's a force of habit but you just wanna] Jimmy: [thats fine because gives him an excuse to take 📷 of her too which he always just wants to] Janis: you gonna be my personal photographer Janis: when I'm mega famous Jimmy: Do you still want me to follow you about then? Janis: Do you? Janis: [are you him like] Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: Paris, Milan, Tokyo Janis: list is endless Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Janis: sorted Jimmy: til I get lost Jimmy: at least you know how to take a decent selfie, babe Janis: have to put a tracker on you Janis: not a crazy gf, for his safety purely Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [just looking into those 😍 with your own] Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [kissing her on each cheek really soft like hes practising for europe but we know its for the 😳] Janis: ['stop' but soft] Jimmy: [does but doesnt move far enough away so still up in her grill like] Janis: [just pushing his head down, gently lol, like go to sleep] Jimmy: [pouty face] Janis: [squishing his face for revenge] Jimmy: [like oi because standard but snuggling into her] Janis: ['promise I'll wake you up'] Jimmy: ['no challenge too hard going for you, I get it' sleepy voiced] Janis: ['flexes the arm he ain't on] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: [have a snooze boy we'll skipperoo] Jimmy: [take some deep breaths Janis theres so much more to come babe] Janis: [roll up on the cali gaff lads] Jimmy: [that wont be awks at all now that its whatever o clock in the morning] Janis: [when one of them probably stayed home to watch her so she already snuck out to get him, on the shit list big time rn] Jimmy: [I hope whichever parent it is aint doing yoga on the lawn rn] Janis: [lmao now is not the time lads, not sneaking though 'cos fuck you fam is the mood evidently] Jimmy: [it really isnt because it should probably be Ali to show how seriously they are taking the driving escapade so him thinking her mum is fit is really not the mood] Jimmy: [also take a moment to really appreciate HOW MANY cats he would think he was half asleep still cos wtf] Janis: [i vibe] Janis: [when you're so embarrassed by your fam/house/everything tbh like get in my room quick thanks] Jimmy: [at least he wont really fully register it cos actually is sleepy so she can just hustle him through speedily] Janis: [just moving her shit out the way so he can get in] Jimmy: [I cant even think what her room would look like either dont start me] Jimmy: [so much like her nan bye] Janis: [like it was once nice 'cos can afford nice shit but is now wrecked/she's never in there now so any posters would be dated as hell] Jimmy: [I feel like hes gotta notice that even though hes not gonna say anything] Jimmy: [file that away in your head boy] Janis: [for another time, also have a nice tuck-in moment for the throwback] Jimmy: [yaaas! what size is her bed?] Janis: [defs a double 'cos she doesn't have loads of other shit she needs so she can] Jimmy: [good thinking you aint gonna have a homework desk are you babe] Janis: [and the attic is already more sizeable anyway soz lads, like they all could, but for example we said grace don't 'cos she wants her youtube background moment so then there is no room] Jimmy: [and Grace never brings lads home cos she would rather die so priorities] Janis: [surprised she brings her friends tbh, Mia like we coming bitch] Jimmy: [she wouldnt want them there but yeah Mia inviting herself from day 1] Janis: [getting all the tea the snek] Jimmy: [I hate her so much because we all know bitches like that] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [anything I need to know about that Janis is gonna do while hes just sleeping and snuggling?] Janis: [she'd probably do some homework 'cos promised she wouldn't leave obvs, work out 'cos all the tension today but that's only next room and also snuggle] Jimmy: [I was gonna say, use that gym honey its been a DAY for you both] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [we need another skip cos we gotta let this poor boy sleep for a while] Janis: [let her have a sleep too 'cos also hasn't so he can wake up first] Jimmy: [casually like where the fuck am I in that hot sec before he realises shes still right there bitch 😍 at her for a bit boy she wont know] Jimmy: [but actually like snuggling into her more cos you know you should check your phone to see if your siblings are alive but you dont wanna but thanks to Ian it would hurt trying to bury your head cos you arent drunk anymore so youre like ow and thatd probably wake her up so] Janis: [enjoy boy, waking up like 'hey'] Jimmy: [saying it back in the quietest voice ever] Janis: ['you need water?' and going to get up] Jimmy: [when youre like I need painkillers for all these injuries but you arent gonna say that because gotta be hard and northern so say nothing] Janis: [looking back like ?] Jimmy: [a very helpful shrug, oh boy have some water and dont be a knob] Janis: [goes for that water] Jimmy: [does check his phone to make sure Cass and Bobby are alright] Janis: [should've washed his uniform for him so he can look like he's been a presentable boy at work all day, so bringing that back in too] Jimmy: [thats so domestic I nearly screamed then] Janis: [when you so caring on the low and no one knows rn] Jimmy: [he would be DYING because he dont have a mum to care about him and clearly Ian isnt] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [fully conceal dont feel boy so she doesnt know how much that got to you] Janis: [just sitting back down on the bed, looking at him like 🤔 'well, you look less pissed at least'] Jimmy: [he was drinking his water and keeping it casual so gotta do a little choke laugh into it like] Janis: ['if you die when I've gone to all this trouble, I swear' 😏] Jimmy: ['less witnesses here than on the bus, be alright' 😏 oh the double meaning excuse you slag] Janis: ['that's alright then' so flirty] Jimmy: [forever giving LOOKS, oh you two] Janis: [all the looks all the time, also the PJs are on as promised so] Jimmy: [give them a nod now youre properly awake boy] Janis: [little lol] Jimmy: [takes her hand and puts it on his pulse so she can see that hes still alive cos obvs trying to kill him with how cute she looks and is] Janis: [just moving your hands up and down 'cos you wanna but then getting to his face and pausing like 'what you gonna tell the kid, if he asks?'] Jimmy: [looks down at some old burn scar or other and back at her like theres your answer cos can easily say he did it at work by falling over something or whatever] Janis: [nods 'then you're good to go-' adding '-whenever' 'cos blatantly does not want it to be yet tah] Jimmy: ['Is the plan to starve me out or-' obviously stalling because he doesnt wanna go either ha 'Mia'll be well proud' but also when was the last time they ate either of them lbr] Janis: ['could just say you're hungry, dickhead' gentle push back down, like 'what you want?'] Jimmy: ['it'd end the live tweets too quick that' gets comfy and doesnt answer what he wants of course v helpful] Janis: [when you get on top of him like you're about to playfight or be saucy, which is it??? neither, getting up like 'get what you're given then, boy' 😏] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: sure you don't wanna live-tweet it? Jimmy: You want that to be your rep then? Janis: worse things than a heartbreaker, I guess Janis: jussayin, you had your chance to chat to me 🤐 Jimmy: Oi, not if it's my heart under the 🔨 Jimmy: so rude you Janis: so your 🖤 is delicate but your lungs and kidney can take it? Janis: noted Jimmy: swing a 🔨 delicately, do you? Noted Janis: forgot liver, but thought that might be a sensitive topic still Janis: very fucking considerate, I'll have you know Jimmy: might be for you, pisshead Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: now Janis: thanks to my excellent nursing Jimmy: Then an' all Jimmy: but I know how into giving it a go you were, not the only considerate one you Janis: even if we're back to faking it, you were never that good Janis: your 😵🥴 and bambi walk gave you away Jimmy: might be concussion that, you didn't ask, some nurse you Janis: didn't need to, you told me about the scotch of your own freewill Janis: so rude to question my competence Janis: risky, when I'm making you food as well Jimmy: scotch which came after, could've already had the serious head injury Janis: 🙄 considering you've survived your all-day nap Janis: gonna say I was right and you're taking the piss Jimmy: no 🏆 coming your way for a fluke, mate Janis: don't ask for much do ya Janis: don't fancy being your real gf, high maintenance motherfucker Jimmy: Nowt off you, I hate to be disappointed me Jimmy: enough 🎻 playing as is Janis: come up here and help yourself then, twat Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: 💀👑 is probably hiding in your fridge Janis: sniffing calories Janis: yeah well you can go in the freezer if you don't start behaving Jimmy: beats a cold 🚿 if you're gonna keep being so 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: not if you're concussed Janis: can't risk injuring you further 'til you're all better, can I Jimmy: I have been before, I ain't now Jimmy: You'll have to think of another way to lose your fake nursing qualification Janis: 'cos that's what I wanna do Jimmy: be out of your hands if you ain't 🥇 Janis: and lemme guess, you'll be 🥇 and in charge, yeah? Jimmy: Let me guess, you want Pete to have final say, yeah? Janis: I mean, don't even put the idea in my head if you want this food any time soon Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 can't share that cold 🚿 Jimmy: fuck it, go on into his DMs its been a bit and I can wait one Janis: BUT WHAT DO I SAY?!?! 😱 Jimmy: pic gonna be worth loads more than words, girl Jimmy: he's an artist Janis: 👂 not 👀 but I get your point Janis: and a voice message would be well forward Jimmy: and you're 🙀🥇🙀 obvs Janis: piss off Janis: not sending nudes to every fit boy I see ain't 🙀 it's sane Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you do it then Jimmy: he don't want mine Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and you turning out to be my beard isn't very believable Janis: why not Jimmy: would've picked a different lass if that's what I was after Jimmy: more girly or something Janis: 🖕 Janis: ignoring you now Jimmy: Why 'cause I'm not gay? Bit rude Janis: no because you're rude Jimmy: for not sending unwanted nudes to my straight male coworker? Nah mate you've got that wrong Janis: 😑 Janis: to me Jimmy: What for? Janis: what do you mean what for Jimmy: What do you mean I'm being rude to you? Janis: where to begin Janis: it comes that natural, you don't even notice, eh Jimmy: You notice owt that ain't happening Janis: don't be a gaslighter, that ain't #goals Jimmy: don't be throwing words about that you could save for a # Janis: liked you better when you were asleep Jimmy: I liked you better when I were too Janis: your sense of directions for shit but you can work on where the door is if that's the case Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: are you taking this food or what Jimmy: is it done or what? Janis: you're in such a rush Janis: would you even be done with your shift yet Jimmy: You told me to be in one Janis: I never Jimmy: you said fuck off out so I'm going Janis: I said stop being a dick Jimmy: you said leave Janis: well if you don't like me why would I do things for you and why would you want me to Jimmy: I never said Janis: yeah well you did Jimmy: that were you Janis: you said it back Janis: I was joking Jimmy: because in dreams owt can happen, why wouldn't that be better? Janis: now you're gonna be slick, huh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: whatever, keats Janis: just stay and eat Janis: in the oven now, don't need go waste Jimmy: only gonna take poison off your 💋 Jules so don't get any other ideas with the 🍽 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll take your word, no need to 🔪 yourself to get it written out anywhere else Janis: yeah if they reckon last night was a suey attempt they probably will take the knives so I'll be 😇 Jimmy: til I take you somewhere else, any road Jimmy: soon have you back at 😈🥇 Janis: not sure I can take your word on that score yet Janis: but we'll see Jimmy: Why not? Janis: still impatiently waiting for you to take me, ain't I Jimmy: if you're so impatient let's go Janis: gotta eat Jimmy: not me 👻 Janis: take my duties very serious, even if you doubt my ability Jimmy: so serious you Jimmy: that'll be why you were all jokes a bit ago Janis: keep your on your toes Janis: check for any concussion Jimmy: I'll work out with you, stop begging Janis: never keep up, baby Jimmy: That hurts, babe Jimmy: Ian's got nowt on you Janis: give him pointers on the verbal smackdown if I see him Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 you won't but tah Jimmy: getting really boring having the same row every time, like Janis: yeah, figured I was fucked for an invite back Janis: give him some new material, whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant 'cause he makes himself scarce for a bit after Jimmy: not showing you the door Janis: Ah Janis: almost like remorse, but not quite, sir Jimmy: Don't wanna look at me til I'm healed Jimmy: he'll have that in common with my instagram feed I'm sure Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Prick Jimmy: You ready for your close up then? Jimmy: be your time to shine, this Janis: so kind of you to share your spotlight Janis: 😏 Jimmy: well you know, if the queen of the undead asks I got every bruise decking some dickhead for you or whatever so I won't need it Jimmy: hero worshipped as standard Janis: she ain't very good down on her knees, so the rumor mill says so might wanna reconsider getting 'em 🙏 Jimmy: Teeth falling out during would put anyone off tbf Jimmy: 🤞 she at least swallows them Jimmy: Tooth fairy won't come but the lad might still Jimmy: 💕 Janis: put out a poll in the groupchat Janis: important info Jimmy: Where's Grace's room, if I don't get lost I'll ask her Janis: piss off Jimmy: Come on, tell me Janis: shut up, no Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: What? Janis: you know what Jimmy: No Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: go on Janis: I don't need to, pretty obvious Janis: ask your sister the same shall I Jimmy: She don't have a #squad for you to get the goss on, soz babes Janis: well I'm not gonna, freak Janis: neither are you Jimmy: What's the fucking matter with you? Janis: what are you on about Jimmy: You heard Janis: and you heard, shut up chatting about my sister Janis: don't see how you don't see that that's weird Jimmy: I weren't chatting about her, just her besties Jimmy: So what's your problem with that? Janis: just quit whilst I've got hot food coming at you or it'll end up in your lap Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [coming through with some kind of safe food she's just shoved in for them] Jimmy: [takes it so he can eat it and shhh] Janis: [omnom] Jimmy: [awkward moody silent eating lol] Janis: [fun times forever] Jimmy: [just finishing speedily and getting ready to go as if I'm gonna let that happen haha] Janis: [looking up as if she's shooketh 'alright?'] Jimmy: [a nod that's clearly incorrect] Janis: [a funny face like obvs not 'come on'] Jimmy: [a look thats like dont tell me to come on] Janis: [😱😬😋 in that order] Jimmy: [leaving but not really cos I still ain't gonna let him get that far obvs] Janis: excuse you Jimmy: can do, if you want Janis: the least you can do is say bye Jimmy: Alright then Jimmy: bye Janis: fuck you, come back here and say it to my face Jimmy: [does come storming back in but doesnt say it, because just looking at her intensely instead] Janis: [😡 face 'say.it.'] Jimmy: ['you' doesnt need to be as up in her grill as he is, but what's new 'why are you being such a massive dickhead?'] Janis: ['me?' outrage lmao 'you. what is your problem right now?'] Jimmy: ['What's yours? I fucking asked you ages ago'] Janis: ['Nothing, you've been an asshole ever since you woke up'] Jimmy: ['No, I've not, you've been having a go at me since your sister got mentioned'] Janis: ['and I told you, it weren't funny'] Jimmy: [annoyed shrug like whatever then] Janis: ['goodbye then' and flinging yourself dramatically on the bed] Jimmy: [does not move] Janis: [is on phone not looking his way so] Janis: what Jimmy: [taking her phone off her #problematic] Janis: [death stare 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [when you can't handle her shouting at you because soft boy 5ever so you're in a shut down like you didnt start this, oh boy so problematic] Janis: ['what' at a normal level like genuine confusion] Jimmy: ['everything's shit' but quietly like the grandma I am would be like ?? 'since I woke up, before then, just....'] Janis: [sighs, rubbing her temples and sitting back down from getting up to shout 'yeah' also quiet 'it is'] Jimmy: [sits next to her but not close to her, a throwback to that bench on the school trip because I'm that slut] Janis: ['I get it, alright' throwing a glance back but not maintaining any eye contact rn 'sorry'] Jimmy: [lying on your back to stare at her ceiling dramatically because you wanna cry and its another throwback while Im on a roll 'I'm a dickhead and I'm sorry'] Janis: ['yeah but so am I, for one; and two, don't make it alright that everything's SO shit, you know' shrugs, shuffles back but doesn't commit to laying down next to him, taking his hand] Jimmy: ['You're not though, you're-' I can't even begin to go there rn boy, sits up but without letting go of her hand and is just looking down at it like 'and you have made it alright, a bit' because she is so nice and he cant even deal Janis: ['a bit' 🤏 smiles a lil and nudges him like, you ain't either though, shrugs 'just what any fucker would do, and they probably wouldn't be a cunt minute you wake up so-'] Jimmy: [raises their linked hands like I can't do the lot stretched out hand thing without letting go, soz because of course he isnt gonna do that. Lowkey crying silently #same because you dont know how to express how nice she is or how much you arent used to/cant handle it] Janis: [when their hands are going back down, tapping his head 'you nerd' then taking his other hand and finally hugging so he can cry in private 'I swear, I wanna make it alright all the time, I wanna be your mate but you don't get it, I ain't a good one, all I'll bring is more hassle, like'] Jimmy: [just the longest hug ever because all the reasons 'you're the best I've had, I get that it sounds fake but it's not'] Janis: [just squeezing him tighter 'cos what to say like same bitch] Jimmy: [such a MOMENT 'you wanna get out of here with me now then?'] Janis: ['yeah' no hesitation 'but you're gonna have to leave and I'm gonna have to sneak out after'] Jimmy: need a 🚬 anyway Jimmy: find me after Janis: okay Jimmy: [leaves but looks back of course cos ILY bitch] Janis: [chasing him down and giving him the most intense kiss of all time, pablo where you at to interrupt] Jimmy: [OMG Mia where you at tho] Janis: [if she was actually over LMAO] Jimmy: [she so could be if we want because always inviting herself] Janis: [amuses me greatly why not] Jimmy: [Grace chasing Mia down but not to kiss her I hope and just like oh ffs because so over Mias obsession with JJ] Janis: [#thereallovestory] Jimmy: [they are everyones otp get over it now Mia] Janis: [least they can bants about how it's getting weird now, egg on your face sweaty Jimmy: [and she cant hang so she cant join them bants soz] Janis: [not soz, when you can start kissing again like it's purely to get them to fuck off but blatantly not] Jimmy: [going for it because you know Mia is too invested when Grace has to drag her away like dont be weird] Janis: [probably try to join in, just loling when they're gone] Jimmy: [you know they are having a bestie domestic, Grace having to be all what is your problem herself because seriously Mia get a grip my love] Janis: [oh the drama, weekly falling out is on, pick a side everyone] Jimmy: [at least JJ are living their best lives rn] Janis: ['why are you making me wanna stay, just a bit' 🤏] Jimmy: [kissing her again because challenge to make her wanna stay a lot is very much accepted] Janis: [just making your way back upstairs really slowly 'cos you're making out the whole way/being pushes backwards] Jimmy: [don't fall over and hurt yourselves either of you because that wouldnt be a mood and this is] Janis: [you got this, on your knees/sat anyway so it fine] Jimmy: [love that you keep having moments on stairs atm] Janis: [mewd] Jimmy: [god bless you both] Janis: [first time yay or nay?] Jimmy: [I say yes because it happened here OG anyway and feels are well high like how would we even stop them lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [we have to steal them missing their stop on the bus from the OG and having to walk for another occasion though cos that was a mood] Janis: [yes easily done tho so we will] Jimmy: [blatantly re-read that hence me and my dementia remember so] Jimmy: [At least Cali cant kick off at her because she did technically stay in] Janis: [gonna say I do not tbh lol] Janis: [if they do just be like HE WAS LOCKED OUT fight me] Jimmy: [we all know Caleb is a soft touch anyway lads] Janis: [trutru also save the lecture she busylol] Jimmy: [he would have that boy over for dinner every night and lowkey adopt him haha] Janis: [he don't know that yet tho just thinking there's another bad egg on the scene] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [the joys of being a parent lmao] Jimmy: [arent you glad you went as hard as you did on the numbers guys] Janis: [regrets, you have 10] Jimmy: [awkward] Janis: [speaking of, how you wanna be lads] Jimmy: [staying forever is how he will wanna be clingy bitch] Janis: [probably need to go feed your siblings though so he could always have a headstart and she'll meet him there] Jimmy: [good point, gotta keep them alive] Janis: [especially if Ian is hiding] Jimmy: [at least he would be at work still so easy to avoid] Janis: [true tea, and if he shows Jimmy can pretend he been working all day anyway] Jimmy: [Twix will be going mental honey, poor bab] Janis: [🤞 cass been holding the fort and walked her] Jimmy: [Im gonna insist she has or Ill be 💔] Jimmy: [also gotta insist that Mia has been posting about them so they gotta be reminded of the fake shit after being the realest ever with each other like] Janis: [a good jump off point] Jimmy: [leave them alone and mind your business bitch literally why are you so bothered] Janis: [never known love, never known life] Janis: how many restraining orders you reckon her da has found loopholes in, like? Janis: [whatever extraness on Mia's socials] Jimmy: Fuck's sake Janis: yeah Janis: she must've left in a strop a while ago 'cos grace is stomping around here solo, like Jimmy: 💔 Janis: thoughts and prayers Jimmy: Hang on, let me start a gofundme to buy poor Gracie a new bestie Jimmy: 🧸 still in my bad books Janis: well, s'a hard sell so Janis: 🍀 to you Jimmy: Oh come on 🥇 optimist at work here Janis: call it clueless Janis: but love that for you Janis: luxury money can't buy Jimmy: Oi, be nice to me Janis: I am Janis: it's endearing Janis: only jealous, like Jimmy: Suspicious Jimmy: my undercover 👮🚔 senses are going Janis: Why? Janis: no case to crack here Janis: open book, me Jimmy: that's what a closed book would say Jimmy: got my 👀 on you, baby Janis: 😏 Janis: that's what a 45 year old perv would say Janis: nothing to hide, keep on 👀 Jimmy: Alright then Janis: you not on the bus? Janis: don't have to hide in the bushes w the binoculars Jimmy: I don't have time to spy on you 🚌👵💕 Jimmy: 👀 for another, tah Janis: 💔 Janis: move so fast Jimmy: told you I could keep up with you in the gym Janis: not gonna be your gym buddy now though 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have a new 🚿 buddy in a bit Jimmy: those non slip surfaces and grab rails 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: it's a date and a party Janis: 😡 Janis: hope she breaks a hip xoxo Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: in good hands, her Janis: be nice to me too Jimmy: If I start Janis: ? Jimmy: I'll want you to get on this bus with me Janis: same Janis: they're being ridiculously OTT Jimmy: bit rude when that's my job Janis: I'll let 'em know Janis: dead curious, like 🙄 Jimmy: tell them I ain't done a shift of my other, raring to go, me Jimmy: such a strong worth ethic Jimmy: work* Janis: you want 'em to like you Janis: 😎 boy for life Jimmy: I want you to know I like you Jimmy: where OTT comes in Janis: I want that too Janis: no 🙄 needed Jimmy: Come back then Janis: I will Janis: when they shut up and give me a second alone Jimmy: How much trouble will you be in? Janis: not enough that I care Janis: unless they plan to actually lock me in my room, they know I won't stick around anyway, pretend to the contrary if they want Jimmy: Did you just quote me? Janis: didn't check if I got it verbatim but Jimmy: 💕 Janis: shut up 💘 Jimmy: you can't tell me to shut up when you're having my words come out of your mouth Janis: you know I say 'em nicer Jimmy: bollocks you love my accent Janis: just like it when you actually talk, babe Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course I do Jimmy: What do you wanna hear? Janis: How much you like me Janis: and how you're gonna show me Jimmy: [a voice memo thing going into far too much detail considering he is either on the bus or waiting for one] Janis: oh Janis: that's Janis: remind me why you aren't here again Jimmy: 'cause you're coming to me Jimmy: soon as Janis: yeah Janis: and I can stay Janis: 'til Ian shows again, yeah? Jimmy: even when he does Jimmy: I said, not kicking you out Janis: good Janis: 'cos don't wanna go unless we go together Janis: 💀🤞 Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: got that in writing now Janis: love a contract, you Jimmy: #middle aged man kinks Janis: 😂 Janis: it's alright, you got stamina, for an old guy Jimmy: reword that tweet a bit before you hit send probably Janis: not gonna blow your cover Janis: bit late for the blow-by-blow account anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: in a stunning turn of events, gracie is helping me for some reason so should be able to get out of here sooner than anticipated Jimmy: very funny Janis: funny weird, yeah Janis: already ordered a lift so Jimmy: Hang on, you ain't joking? Janis: unless she is Janis: see in 5 Jimmy: unless she kills you Jimmy: still see you though 👻💕 Janis: counterproductive if that's what they're all claiming to be so upset about Janis: funny though Janis: she'd get shanked so fast in prison Jimmy: Might not, had loads of practice being Mia's bitch Janis: assume that's where she's running herself Jimmy: how romantic Jimmy: tell her not to, we don't need the competition Janis: absolutely not Jimmy: You won't have a convo with her or you won't tolerate them as an IT couple? Janis: 1. I'm not trying to help her ever Janis: 2. they're both in love with me Janis: 3. we're 🥇 and don't ever imply less Jimmy: So forceful you Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: sort it out, honestly 😏 Jimmy: if you get to mine before me, you'll have to Jimmy: skipped the honeymoon and went straight to kids and a dog Janis: that's a point Janis: evidently YOUR honeymoon is over 'cos waited for you to get on that bus, like Janis: plan worked 💕🙌 Jimmy: never a bad plan, you Janis: n'awh Janis: don't worry, know how to do oven chips, I can sort it Jimmy: so does Cass, she's 12 not 2 Janis: excuse me, you want me to muck in or nah Jimmy: No, I don't want you to Jimmy: that's why I said you might have to Jimmy: under duress, same as me Janis: well I'm used to that Janis: no worries Jimmy: Ruining the fantasy a bit there, rich girl Janis: you can do better Jimmy: Obviously Janis: and you'll have plenty of time after the bedtime routine Jimmy: Not if our kid has owt to do with it but I'll make time for you Janis: can't stay awake long as I can Janis: 💪 Jimmy: I'll give you the 🏆 when I wake up then Janis: talking 'bout outlasting the kid but if you're 😪 already baby Jimmy: been tired since before I met you Jimmy: worst kept secret in my new boy mystery set Janis: poor boy Janis: I'll help you sleep, trust Jimmy: What's your singing voice like? Fed up of 🎻🎻🎻 me Janis: don't reckon I'm winning any 🏆 but Janis: do my best Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how do you do it then Jimmy: What? Janis: the whole having self-control thing Janis: 'cos when I see you I'll just wanna Jimmy: The clue's in the first bit Jimmy: it ain't about me Jimmy: what I wanna do Jimmy: I ain't got no self control, just Jimmy: shit in my way Janis: hmm Janis: makes sense Janis: all your habits, like 🚬 Jimmy: got plenty of self destruction, yeah Jimmy: nowt in the way of that Janis: I'll drink to that Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: There's no scotch but you can have owt else that he or I've not Janis: such a good host Jimmy: Do you have 🚬? Janis: nah but I'll go shop Janis: give you chance to get here Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: How do you do this? Janis: ? Jimmy: it's the longest 🚌 ride I've ever been on 😱😱 Jimmy: you really live in the middle of nowt, girl Janis: you were warned Janis: hoping it'll keep us in, hasn't really worked Jimmy: actually gonna have to move you in Jimmy: don't even like you it's just jealousy that you get to spend so much time with hot drivers like this bloke Jimmy: and the 👵👴 on board every time Janis: honestly, prime hunting ground for you Janis: it's probably trevor Janis: be more jealous, I know 'em all by name Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Why you trying to make me get banned for 🥊? Jimmy: even if I won't need to visit you here 💀👑 and the rest of the #squad will want me to show up Janis: 1. you're jealous of me for seeing them, not the other way 'round, remember Janis: 2. just really want an excuse to steal another car Janis: 3. gonna make a habit of giving them what they want? Jimmy: 1. that's obvs all a blur 'cause I'm too fuming to think clearly now Jimmy: 2. I didn't steal the 1st one so I don't reckon you can say another Jimmy: 3. Depends Janis: 1. Me too now, see 3 Janis: 2. you don't know how far I got, pisshead Janis: 3. 😒 Jimmy: What's that face for? Jimmy: You dunno what it depends on yet, mardy Janis: I know I don't like it either way Janis: but fine, what? Jimmy: I was just Jimmy: but nah it's alright, you don't wanna know Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😒😒 Janis: [imagine she's done them huge like on facebook] Janis: well tell me Jimmy: If they still want me to break up with you, I might Jimmy: to cut out all the fake shit between us Jimmy: that's what I were thinking Janis: who told you you were allowed to be so Jimmy: ? Janis: idk the right word Janis: cute just sounds fake Jimmy: I know what you mean Janis: alright, bighead 😏 Jimmy: Piss off, I meant about sounding fake Jimmy: that's why I reckon breaking up and just seeing each other when we want, how we want, is the best plan Janis: makes sense Janis: anything we were gonna achieve with it, we have by now so Janis: can just ghost 'em, like Janis: not like we have to make an annoucement, they'll do the rest themselves Jimmy: school might be weird, being exes, that's the only thing Janis: yeah Janis: not really an alternative though, is there? Jimmy: Be easier to fake 💔 than 💕 probably Jimmy: not like we have every lesson together anyway Janis: and school is shit anyway so Jimmy: If you want a day off from pretending to hate me, we'll skip Janis: why do I need to hate you Jimmy: We were so in love and now we ain't #duh Jimmy: every dickhead knows you can't be friends with your ex Jimmy: unless you want them to think you're a lesbian again, like Janis: if it's the only option we've got then it is Jimmy: You don't reckon it's a good one? Janis: nah Janis: but there ain't a good one Janis: not your fault, like Jimmy: Fake 💔 or fake 💕 then? Janis: 💔 why not Janis: may as well, change of scenery Jimmy: I get it 😒 is easier than 😍 for me an' all Janis: 👌 Jimmy: sorted then Janis: yep Jimmy: [shows her a doodle he's done of them while he's stuck on this bus like okay boy your 😍 are showing here] Janis: you still got time to post that or what Jimmy: Do I? Janis: your plan Jimmy: I'm not gonna 💔 til you wanna though Janis: what are we waiting for Jimmy: Alright I'll delete now Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Owt you want off my phone you can sort in a bit Janis: don't need to Jimmy: bit rude Janis: why Jimmy: Oi, a 🥇 photographer, me Janis: don't actually need a portfolio Janis: tah Jimmy: Fine Janis: don't fancy it, posting the 🚬 through your letterbox ok Jimmy: No, there's nowt okay about that Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: what are you Janis: something's come up Jimmy: What has? Janis: does it matter? Janis: just need to go Jimmy: Why wouldn't that matter? Janis: don't be awkward Jimmy: you Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: Nothing Janis: but this plan won't just happen by itself either Janis: things I need to sort now Jimmy: Not what you said before Jimmy: you said we didn't have to do nowt Jimmy: that they'd work it out Janis: about figuring it out Janis: I'm talking about the fallout Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: well do you really wanna mope around and pretend to be 💔 Janis: actual 💔 Janis: that's the rep you want? think about it Janis: just means more faking, only with other people Jimmy: I'm not gonna get another fake girlfriend if that's what you're saying Janis: not saying you repeat this scheme Janis: but gotta be seen to be moving on, yeah Jimmy: No Janis: alright for you, isn't it Janis: who do you think they'll reckon dumped who Jimmy: You can dump me, I don't care what they think Janis: still fake, ain't it Janis: whatever way we play it Jimmy: Yeah but Jimmy: we can be real with each other Janis: I fucking hate it Janis: that it matters Jimmy: That's why I'm trying to give us a chance to start over Jimmy: Alright, we might have to give them one last show but after that whenever I see you or say owt it's real Janis: Is it though Jimmy: Why wouldn't it be? Janis: if you're trying to not see me again for real, just do that Janis: don't headfuck me Jimmy: You're the one who has come all this way to decide you don't fancy it Janis: it's you that keeps talking about hating and avoiding and all that shit Janis: how am I meant to take that Jimmy: If you don't fancy me anymore because fucking me weren't like you thought it were gonna be then alright Jimmy: but don't talk bollocks Jimmy: You know I wanna see you Janis: No Janis: it isn't that Janis: but no, I don't know that either Janis: feel like I don't know fuck all these days Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: I didn't wanna go, you have to know that, you were there Jimmy: and I wouldn't bring you here where I don't wanna fucking be if I didn't REALLY want to see you Janis: I'm Janis: stupid Janis: sorry Janis: take your pick Jimmy: just Jimmy: come back Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: it does if I've made it weirder than I already felt Jimmy: what can be weirder than not being fake with your fake girlfriend? Jimmy: I don't care, alright Janis: you thought it was weird Jimmy: What? No Jimmy: I mean actually telling you how I feel is weird Janis: oh Janis: well, agreed Jimmy: Agreeing is weird an' all, isn't it? Janis: can't take the other side and pretend this is standard for me, soz Jimmy: be weirder if it were Jimmy: You reckon I've got some fucked habits but that'd be Janis: don't be mad 'cos you're my 5th fake boyfriend, alright Janis: judgey Jimmy: That ain't funny or cute Jimmy: Shut up Janis: obviously not Janis: you approached me Janis: not doing that kinda suggestability voodoo Jimmy: OMG 🤐 Janis: yeah, think on Janis: was a pretty out of character thing to do, no? Jimmy: Paddy girls are pretty full on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: there's nowt you can say Janis: not lumping myself in with that lot Janis: and you Jimmy: neither were I Jimmy: never have done Janis: ❄ Janis: I remember Jimmy: 👍 Janis: such a dick, you were Jimmy: Nah, I am Jimmy: no need to past tense it Janis: just specifying the time Jimmy: Alright, so don't forget to add I will be such a dick too then Jimmy: for the future Janis: if I'm about, I'll be sure to let you know Jimmy: 💔 you won't be able to @ me Jimmy: but wherever Ian drags us next somebody'll say it to my face, no doubt Janis: of course, you are a dick, after-all Jimmy: and yet still properly sought after Jimmy: a brainer lad would've planned that Janis: enough room for a proper beefy 🧠 in that massive head Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 that it's empty then Jimmy: well nearly Janis: poor boy Jimmy: I'll live, babe Jimmy: 🧟💕 Janis: now it's my turn to be 💔 Jimmy: Go on and have a 🎻 too then Jimmy: might as well Janis: can't even be 😍 over how generous you are Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos you said from now on we're only saying real things Jimmy: and you shot down the 💡 in 🔥 Janis: no I didn't Janis: you didn't explain properly Jimmy: You don't wanna say real things to me Janis: where'd you get that idea from Jimmy: call it 👮🚔 senses Jimmy: or that you're well quick to not understand what I've said 'cause like I said 😒 is easier Janis: or maybe it's a weird situation that's hard to understand Janis: which we agreed on Janis: if 😒 was easier I would've thought it was the best idea ever Jimmy: Alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: so what are you saying Jimmy: nowt Janis: fuck off Janis: you reckon I can't handle real then Jimmy: You did, I were there Janis: so why are you saying I don't want it then Jimmy: No 🧠 Janis: ugh Janis: alright Jimmy: It just feels like Jimmy: you don't want any of this now Janis: that's not true Janis: why do you Janis: nah Jimmy: Go on Janis: it's Janis: like why would I have freaked out back there if I didn't want it Janis: when I thought you didn't Janis: not keeping you around as a sure thing when I don't give a fuck, am I Jimmy: I can't say how long I'll be around here anyway, you either so Jimmy: don't worry about it Jimmy: I'm just being Janis: don't mean we can't now Janis: does it Janis: every fucker else does, not like they have any more guarantee Jimmy: Not a habit of mine to leave 💔 lasses behind me Janis: behave Jimmy: I don't want to, had to for ages when you were only giving me fake 💕 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me that Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah but the 💔 has always been fake, what I'm saying Janis: don't need to think about that Jimmy: Good 'cause as far as 💭 I can do better Janis: go on then Jimmy: [the most 🔥 sext of all time obvs] Janis: can I come back Janis: please Jimmy: I said Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: just checking Jimmy: where are you? Janis: not far Janis: well a bit but not out of town far Jimmy: 🏃? Janis: if that's you, then no, think of your lungs Jimmy: not the bit of me I'm thinking with and I'm only thinking of you, not me but alright Jimmy: if you can't handle another race Janis: now I'm with ya Janis: 'course I'M gonna run Janis: but the incentive is appreciated Jimmy: I'll appreciate you better than that Janis: you better Janis: i've missed you Jimmy: 🥇 baby, you'll see Jimmy: it feels like ages since I left Jimmy: it's been ages but you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: like actual time as passed and not a day Janis: it's always been a bit like that with you Janis: weird Jimmy: but you were still always gone before I was ready for you to be Jimmy: weirder Janis: felt it too Janis: weirdest Jimmy: I Janis: yeah? Jimmy: just Jimmy: it is a mess but Jimmy: I'm glad I did ask you Jimmy: nowt else could've happened if not Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: You reckon I'm wrong? Jimmy: somehow don't picture you hanging round the CG like your twin Jimmy: obviously I could have caught you in the gym 🏆💪 but unlikely you'd be chatty then, sore loser you are Janis: ha x2 Janis: 😏 Janis: we do go to the same school, you know Jimmy: Were you gonna offer to help me with my homework or what? Janis: not porn Janis: and I'm not some bitch with pigtails and a plaid mini skirt, like Jimmy: not with that attitude Janis: 😂 Jimmy: and I've seen you in your uniform, like Jimmy: not that far off Janis: you're such an idiot Janis: but you did know then, that's good Jimmy: Know what, that you're really fit? Obviously Janis: that we were at the same school before the fateful trip Jimmy: I get that I hide them well but I've got 👀 Jimmy: I saw you, like I said Janis: and obviously I couldn't miss the welcome party so Janis: 👀 likewise Jimmy: Am I ever gonna see you today or did you get lost? Janis: I'm on my way Janis: I'm fast, works in and out of your favour, I'm afraid Janis: depends which way I'm 🏃 Jimmy: Tah for not being well fast at everything then Jimmy: be over before I did my best tricks Jimmy: and you'd be asleep like half that bus were Janis: 💔 get used to not having an audience fast Janis: and benefits of not being a lad, just go again Jimmy: can't if you're 💀💀💀 Jimmy: get me arrested that Janis: promises promises Jimmy: which you know you can hold me to Jimmy: unless your memory loss is back Janis: no but Janis: stop distracting me if you want me to get there any time soon Jimmy: Baby, I've seen you multitask Jimmy: come on Jimmy: can do so many things at once you Janis: I wanna save it for you Janis: you turned me on so it's yours Jimmy: I'm going nowhere yet but the kids and dog are Jimmy: this whole house is yours, just need to get to it Janis: serious? Jimmy: Deadly, as usual Janis: Good thing I'm only a couple streets away then Janis: hold on Jimmy: Surviving somehow Janis: 'cos you can't 💀💀💀 without me Jimmy: keep my promises, yeah, that kind of dickhead Janis: I like that kind of dickhead Jimmy: Shakespeare's got nowt on you, girl Jimmy: you better only be a couple of streets away Jimmy: don't be saying shit like that to me if I can't respond immediately Janis: [rings doorbell] Jimmy: [thank god he sent everyone away because we know what kind of hello she's getting] Janis: [lol if someone else answered that would've been very awkward for us all] Jimmy: [likewise if Twix got there before him] Janis: [distracted with food probably] Jimmy: [it's alright she can be gone too on a walk or wherever] Janis: [my boo say everyone out] Jimmy: [give them their privacy please they've had enough audiences]

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