#yEET BOI IM SO F T
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valkyriesryde Ā· 5 years ago
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Together
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Summary: You've got some news but are too scared to tell Bucky but heā€™ll find out one way or another
Warnings: pregnancy, fluff, angst?, yeet
Word Count: 2kish
A/N: This one was requested by @cleocc and Iā€™m so glad I could do this one for you hun Iā€™m so sorry it took a while. Thank you for always being so supportive of me and amazing <3 also wow im uh back?Ā 
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~~~
Well...fuck.
You sat on the couch, with your legs tucked up so your chin rested on your knees. You watched Peter, Bucky and Sam playing Mario Kart on the TV, they were laughing and joking, pushing each other and trying to distract one another from the game.
Every now and then Bucky turned and smiled at you, making sure you were all good and not feeling left out by the boys. You gave him a tight smile and ran your fingers over his back and he turned back to the tv. But your face dropped as soon as he turned away and you sank back into yourself. Fuck.
"Ahh dammit," Sam groaned and threw his controller onto the seat next to him while Peter and Bucky both laughed as they already crossed the finish line ahead of him.
Slowly and quietly you got up from your seat and started to walk out of the room, praying that Bucky didn't think anything of it or notice at all.
"Baby, you all good? Where ya going?"
"Just tired, gonna go lie down," you told him.
There was no reason for you to not tell him. Itā€™s not like it was a new relationship, the two of you had been together for years. Itā€™s not like you hadnā€™t talked about it. In fact youā€™d both decided, if it were to happen, it happened and that would be amazing. Neither of you knew if it was even possible. Bucky wasnā€™t sure if after everything that happened his bits still worked as they should. But when you talked about it you both decided that you would leave it up to the universe. Now the universe had spoken and you couldnā€™t even bring yourself to tell him. You couldnā€™t even say it outloud.
ā€œHey baby girl.ā€ Bucky cooed as he crawled onto the bed and pulled back the cover that you hid under. ā€œWanna cuddle?ā€ he smiles and nudges his nose into your cheek. You nod your head and open your arms and Bucky immediately cuddles into you, scooting under the covers and holding you close. ā€œTell me whatā€™s up when youā€™re ready okay?ā€
Bucky was always good like that. He knew that it took time for you to make sense of what you were feeling. It always took you some time to be brave enough to say it outloud and Bucky knew that. Whenever you got down or something was bothering you he was always close by for you to cuddle into until you were ready. He got worried, sure but you always told him...right? Not that it hadnā€™t been two weeks and you hadnā€™t told him anything yet and heā€™s totally not worried out of his mind...nope.
Two weeks, youā€™d kept quiet. Two and a half weeks total since you found out. Bucky stood behind you as you worked, tapping your pen as you read through reports. You hadnā€™t noticed him yet and he took the opportunity to observe you and see if he could figure out what was going on for himself. You werenā€™t any more stressed over work than usual and you hadnā€™t really snapped at anyone which meant no one in particular was getting on your nerves. In fact, the only person youā€™d been weird with was him. You were distant at the best of times, at the worst you seemed to be straight up avoiding any alone time with him. Youā€™d go to bed early to avoid him in your apartment.
Bucky was losing his mind, youā€™d never been like this before. Youā€™d always been able to talk to him so what was going on?
Youā€™re lying next to him fast asleep and heā€™s staring at the ceiling with tears in eyes thinking that maybe the end is coming? Maybe sheā€™s finally at her breaking point and this is it. Sheā€™s done with him; she just doesnā€™t know how to tell him yet. Then your phone lights up and it catches his eye on your bedside table. The notification isnā€™t anything important. Just a reminder about a meeting you have with Natasha the next morning. But itā€™s the notification underneath it that makes Bucky reach over you and pick up your phone.
Kindle: What to Expect When Youā€™re Expecting has fully downloaded
Bucky falls back into his pillow and peers and you from the corner of his eye before looking at the lock screen again. He unlocks your phone, not like either of you didnā€™t know each otherā€™s passwords, and opens the app in question.
The more Bucky looks at your current reading list the more confused he gets;
The Mama Neutral Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth
50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
Pregnancy Notes: Before, During & After
The list goes on, there must be at least ten different expectant pregnancy books and some of the older ones are at least halfway throughā€¦the pin drops and Bucky almost chokes on air as heā€™s grabbing for his own phone and opening his own version of the app and downloading the exact books you have. Then your phone is placed exactly where he found it, he buries his face into your shoulder for a second with a beaming smile and kisses your shoulder blade.
ā€œSilly girl,ā€ he whispers against your skin before lying back down and opening the first book.
Bucky gets no sleep that night. When he comes into the kitchen at 6am to run with Steve and Sam heā€™s got bags under his eyes as bad as when his nights were tormented with nightmares and Steveā€™s stomach would have dropped if it not for the spring in Buckyā€™s step or the cheerful ā€œgood morning punkā€ he offered him.
ā€œI think heā€™s finally gone madā€¦ā€ Sam stood beside Steve as they watched Bucky whistle to himself as he tied his laces.
ā€œI really thought him being with Y/N meant we didnā€™t have to worry about that anymoreā€¦ā€ Steve scratched at his beard.
ā€œYou two idiots know I can hear you right?ā€ Bucky stood straight and though his voice was teasing he continued to smile brightly at them and make for the door to start their run.
ā€œYou going to tell us whatā€™s got you so happy then Buck?ā€ Steve called out after him, Bucky turned and jogged backwards as he held out his arms.
ā€œNothingā€™s confirmed yet!ā€
ā€œItā€™s gotta be the no sleep he really has gone mad.ā€
~~~~~~~
When Bucky returned to his room he could hear the shower going and you singing along to the music that played through the bathroom. He sat at the edge of the bed, toeing his shoes off and stripping the sweat covered shirt from his back, using it to wipe the sweat from his brow and chest.
ā€œLooks like you had a good run,ā€ you stepped out with a towel wrapped around you and offered Bucky a small smile, making your way to your dresser to get dressed.
Bucky watched closely as you started to get dressed. He paid close attention to the way you carried yourself, how careful you were with your skin and your body as you pulled a t-shirt over your head. How could he have been so unaware before?
ā€œComā€™ereā€ he whispered but you heard him clear as day and pulled out a pair of jeans.
ā€œIn a second,ā€ you mumbled but Bucky wasnā€™t having any of it.
ā€œDarling come here...please,ā€ he pleaded for you and you dropped the jeans back into the drawer and walked over to him. Bucky held out his arms until he could reach your hips and pulled you to stand between his legs. His fingers brushed underneath your t-shirt and over the fabric of your underwear up to the skin of your waist and back down. ā€œGood morning my lovely,ā€ he delighted as his hands went to the back of your thighs and he pulled you as close as you could get while still standing, his eyes looking up at your filled with love.
ā€œMorning,ā€ this was probably the most intimate the two of you had been in the last couple of weeks aside from sleeping next to each other and god you missed it. Goosebumps followed his touch and your body twitched to get closer to him until there wasnā€™t a part of you that wasnā€™t touching. You missed him and it was all your own doing.
ā€œYou know I love you?ā€ He pulled at the back of your knees until you were situated on his lap and he held your hips while your hands brushed against his chest as if he knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted it too. ā€œLove you more than Iā€™ll ever be able to tell ya.ā€ His voice was quiet and as his arms snaked around your back it got softer. ā€œReally donā€™t like it when you close off from me because it absolutely terrifies me babydoll but itā€™s okay. Itā€™s okay you can tell me whenever youā€™re ready, I just need you to know that I love you and Iā€™m not gonna be going anywhere anytime soon alright?ā€
You choked back a sob as you nodded your head and tried to blink back the tears, his grip around you tightened and your hands held onto his shoulders. Bucky smiled through his own tears and leaned his forehead against yours.
ā€œItā€™s okay baby. I know, itā€™s okay.ā€
ā€œIā€™m so scared,ā€ you whimpered and Bucky simply nodded his head. He didnā€™t want to think about what you were scared of whether it be him or his reaction or the situation in its entirety because he knew he had to be strong for you and he was going to do just that.
ā€œI know I know, itā€™s okay. I got you, youā€™re not alone. We do this together.ā€
You hold onto him for dear life, nodding your head because you canā€™t quite bring yourself to speak anymore knowing that it would come out as a series of sobs and gibberish. Bucky holds you back just as tight and he wants to outright ask you to say it outloud because he needs to hear it but he doesn't want to scare you off when heā€™s only just got you back. So he falls back onto the bed with you still in his arms and you squeal as you fall.
ā€œIā€™m so happy,ā€ he breathes out without thinking. Before he can clamp his mouth shut and take back anything heā€™s said youā€™re sitting up and wiping the water from your face.
ā€œYou are?ā€
ā€œā€˜Course I am, Iā€™m gonna be a dad,ā€ he whispers happily and you canā€™t help but beam at him and nod.
ā€œYouā€™re gonna be a dad.ā€ And his grin grows until heā€™s giving you a toothy smile and pulling you back into him, rolling over and kissing every inch of your face. ā€œYou canā€™t tell yet!ā€ You stop and he pulls back, looking at you confused, ā€œwe have to wait until twelve weeks before we can tell people.ā€
ā€œHow far along are you now?ā€
ā€œAbout three weeks.ā€
ā€œDarling...Iā€™m being completely serious,ā€ his face drops and he combs back the hair from your face. ā€œI really do not think Iā€™ll be able to keep my mouth shut for that longā€¦ā€
ā€œYouā€™re going to have to baby,ā€ you giggle, everything feels so much lighter now that he knows. You were silly to be so scared.
ā€œI will...for you,ā€ he shimmies down your body and lifts your t-shirt to uncover your stomach, ā€œand you,ā€ and then he's giving you raspberry kisses while you laugh loudly and try and push him away.
~~~~~~
ā€œY/N OH MY GOSH CONGRATULATIONS!!ā€ Clint runs up to you and envelops you in a giant hug a couple days later in the kitchen while you cook lunch for yourself and everyone else. ā€œThis is AWESOME! Gonna spoil that kid rotten!ā€
You look to Bucky who sits at the kitchen island and if looks could kill heā€™d be a pile of ash on the ground.
ā€œBabeā€¦ā€ he starts.
ā€œBuck.ā€
ā€œI just told Steve, heā€™s my best friend, I couldnā€™t keep it from him.ā€ He points to Steve who starts to sink in his seat and your glare moves from Bucky to Steve.
ā€œI just told Tony, he deserves to know in case something were to happen.ā€ Steve shrugs as Tony stands behind him sipping a mug of coffee.
ā€œ...I told many, many people.ā€
~~~
Thank you for reading and Iā€™m so glad you enjoyed it!
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ayzrules Ā· 4 years ago
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āœ¶ š‡š—š‡ š“š‡š„šŒš„š’: š‹šˆš†š‡š“ & š‡šŽš‹šˆšš„š’š’, šƒš„š€š“š‡ & šƒš€šŒšš€š“šˆšŽš ā€ƒā€ƒLong story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D
ā€ƒā€ƒAlso, if you canā€™t see the last gif (the one forĀ ā€˜holyā€™), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////
ā€ƒā€ƒThis post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and iā€™m p sure clicking ā€˜keep readingā€™ sends you to the og post itself), so iā€™m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here.Ā 
āœ¶ šƒš„š€š“š‡ ā€ƒā€ƒIā€™m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so itā€™s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does theĀ ā€˜deadly number 4ā€² thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didnā€™t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.
ā€ƒā€ƒSo pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapikaā€™s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, itā€™s pretty obvious why togashiā€™s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and thereā€™s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and heā€™s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, itā€™s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionallyĀ ā€˜pureā€™ orĀ ā€˜heavenlyā€™ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when heā€™s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.
ā€ƒā€ƒBacktracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, heā€™s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), heā€™s the false hareĀ (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e itā€™s called. i donā€™t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so itā€™s #4 in the cycle).Ā 
ā€ƒā€ƒAnd just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth princeĀ of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao
āœ¶ š‡šŽš‹š˜, š”šš‡šŽš‹š˜ ā€ƒā€ƒAs probably everyone whoā€™s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean thereā€™s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo
ā€ƒā€ƒAnd i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.
ā€ƒā€ƒBack to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ā€˜angelicā€™, heā€™s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, arenā€™t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ā€˜daggers through heart christianity?ā€™ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as theĀ ā€˜angelā€™, theĀ ā€˜goodā€™, theĀ ā€˜holyā€™ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.
ā€ƒā€ƒBut thatā€™s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then thereā€™s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which areĀ ā€˜demonicā€™) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ā€˜death-bringerā€™ in one translation, orĀ ā€˜half-angel, half-deathā€™, so thatā€™s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but thereā€™s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?
ā€ƒā€ƒNowĀ for chrollo: togashiā€™s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didnā€™t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. banditā€™s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.
ā€ƒā€ƒOther things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisokaā€™s betrayal, where member #4Ā can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earthā€™s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well
āœ¶ š‹šˆš†š‡š“ (š€ššƒ šƒš€š‘šŠšš„š’š’) ā€ƒā€ƒLast section yay! i donā€™t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???
ā€ƒā€ƒSo obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon -Ā ā€œyou are lightā€ - and then i was just remembering that meruemā€™s name means....Ā ā€œlight that illuminates allā€ (!!!!). maybe itā€™s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, iā€™m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).
ā€ƒā€ƒGoing back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. letā€™s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says heā€™s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when heā€™s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all thereā€™s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen heā€™d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). thereā€™s just huuuge flashes of light as thatā€™s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until thereā€™s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.
ā€ƒā€ƒOnĀ the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesnā€™t want to eat everyone - so thatā€™s aĀ ā€˜path to lightā€™, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. neteroā€™s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor manā€™s rose. again, thereā€™s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesnā€™t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.
ā€ƒā€ƒBut wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one thatā€™s all white, one thatā€™s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - bornĀ ā€œinto darknessā€, literally & figuratively, but he turns something likeĀ ā€˜goodā€™ by the end. itā€™s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.
āœ¶ š‚šŽšš‚š‹š”š’šˆšŽš ā€ƒā€ƒAahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and iā€™ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i donā€™t know it as well as yorknew eeek.
ā€ƒā€ƒIā€™m not sure if iā€™m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if itā€™s of any interest, iā€™m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :DĀ lots of love to all!!!
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myster-tea Ā· 3 years ago
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bored so story shit
here is how scorpion and suki met cause E:
so they first met as kiddos with suki chillin in a tree, seeing smol scorpion and pouncing on him. After suki figured out that he isn't a threat they slowly became friends! Scorpion as a child may have accidentally killed his parents sooo he lived with his aunt and uncle who were not good at taking care of a child. Cara (unknown and redā€™s adopted mother) tried adopting Scorpion but according to scorpionā€™s village or whatever he cant leave there until hes 18 even if he has almostĀ  dĀ  iĀ  Ā eĀ  d multiple times. Cara literally had to burn down her house, move to another house far away, teleport the half dead kid scorpion to her and his aunt STILL got scorpion back. One day something happens so red, cara and unknown dont see scorpion until they are older. Then when Scorpion is now i think around his late 20s? He runs into Himiko, The now girlfriend of Ryan who runs a villain group with no name. Himiko takes Scorpions mask cause idk, they fight over it for a few minutes and then Himiko finally gives up out of boredom and gives him the mask back. They make up and are ok now, Himiko is likeĀ ā€œ hey wanna join this villain organization?ā€ and scorpion is likeĀ ā€œk sure that sounds pogā€ So he joins, meets everyone. Blaze; The younger brother of Ryan, Himiko; zombie gurl that just showed up one day and no one knows where the fuck she came from, and Ryan; The leader of this villain thing. They go on a mini hunting trip, almost get caught by some fancy police officers (knights) go back to base, sleep. oh no, himiko disappeared!! :0
she was caught by the villain circus. So Milo shows up while Blaze,Ryan and Scorpion are searching for her and they are likeĀ ā€œ hey what the f u q did you do with zombie gurlā€ And milo is likeĀ ā€œ fuq yall i aint telling ya S H I Tā€ Scorpion and Milo fight for what feels like forever while Ryan and Blaze just stand there.
Milo finally gives up after the two of themā€™sĀ ā€œgot ur mask u b i t c hā€ battle. They say that Someone named Unknown Took himiko. So they yeet milo into a pocket void thing that scorpion just casually has. And they walk towards the hospital that unknownĀ ā€œworkedā€ at. Blaze i think just leftĀ  cause hes not mentioned for the rest of this scene. Ryan casually simps for unknown while scorpion just is likeĀ ā€œ*asexual&aromantic silence*ā€ he yeets unknown into the void and yeets milo out, knocking him- OH FUCK NO HE DIDN'T YEET MILO HE DRAGGED MILO NEVERMIND IM STUPID ._. so he still yetted unknown but not milo. They go to get himiko back, who is almost dead (i know shes a zombie but she can still like- die?? its hard to explain.) they go back to the base, himiko heals, they all chill. Scorpion gets a bad dream and is likeĀ ā€œi'm gonna peace out for a secā€ everyone is likeĀ ā€œk pog whatever as long as you don't get us killedā€ S scorpion forgets about the enemy in the void. So hes likeĀ ā€œ oh fuck you're still hereā€ and suki is likeĀ ā€œyes, i fuckin am, it sucksā€ So they kinda just trauma bond for an hour. He figures out that Suki is mind controlled by the evil axolotl man (aka aqua) and scorpion tries to break the mind control after suki explains the weird ass emotions thing list that breaks mind control. Suki is about to just say adios to herself likeĀ ā€œaye pain is the last resort so b y e e e e eā€ and scorpion is likeĀ ā€œ no bitch u livinā€ Aqua controls unknown and is likeĀ ā€œ mfer nothins workinnnnnnnnnā€Ā ā€œ time to just say adiosā€
Long story short they just end up kissing in the trauma bond void.
everything is pog shes not controlled anymore.
Suki ends up saying bye bitches to the circus and joins scorpionā€™s side.
they end up having to go to the circus and get the kids (raz and daz) so they join too and they all chill with ryan,himiko,and blaze.
Suki is likeĀ ā€œ hey scorpion i like uā€
and scorpion is likeĀ ā€œ BOI I CANT LIKE YA BACK SO W H Yā€™
and suki is just likeĀ ā€œ cause u cute and u helped me a lotā€
So they get some magic jewelry to let scorpion feel romantic traction, no one knows if its just romantic attraction but whatever.
Scorpion puts on the necklace and just passes out for a few seconds. and after a while they start dating. and now that i think about it Unknown kinda just did a conversion camp thing on scorpion but we are just gonna ignore that.Ā 
They date for a while and are wholesome as fuq. Scorpion has this weird ass dream that somehow Suki is in as well. They figure out they were actually childhood friends so thats pog. After a year or so they get married but how scorpion proposed was now with a ring orlike going to a nice place. He literally woke up, Pinned suki down, and was likeĀ ā€œwanna marry me?ā€ and suki is confused as fuck and is likeĀ ā€œuhhhh suuuure???ā€ scorpions likeĀ ā€œk pogā€ and falls back asleep. like it was just super casual and i think that's hilarious. They get married after someone at their wedding tries to kill suki. Then a few days after the wedding Suki comes back to the base after work holding a whole ass b a b y (who was arlo) Scorpion is likeĀ ā€œSUKI WE DON'T NEED MORE KIDSā€ and Suki is likeĀ ā€œ I DON'T CARE THIS CHILD IS NOW OUR SONā€ scorpion warmed up to arlo after a while and everyone joked about arlo being their actual like- biological child and every time the villain parents got super defensive about it while arlo is likeĀ ā€œ why must i be a joke QwQā€Ā 
arlo grows up and that's where we are currently in the story!Ā 
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we-always-hit-our-ass Ā· 5 years ago
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I just read your fluffy headcannons with Toye and they are p e r f e c t. Made me realise how much I needed this and I was hoping if you could do one with Ron Speirs. šŸ˜”āœŠ
anon, im incredibly happy that you think my Toye hcs were perfect- i also totally get you, anon. we all need some soft speirs hcs in our lives and i will do exactly that! šŸ˜©šŸ‘ŒšŸ’žšŸ’•
btw im incredibly sorry that i took so long to write these hcs but hopefully you enjoy them!
Taglist: @floydtab, @deldontplay, @thatsonefishyboi, @noneofurbusinez, @meteora-fc, @hufflepuffpancakesā€‹, @hihosilversā€‹, @rayleighshughes
shoutout to my wifey @floydtab for helping me on these hcs, this probably wouldnā€™t have existed without you- you gave me so much inspo i love you maā€™am šŸ’žšŸ’•
Fluffy/General Ronald Speirs HCs
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Letā€™s get one thing clear here- Ron is a cold bitch but is ACTUALLY a big softie.
Only for you anyway, but no one else except you two need to know that-
Like Ron will subtly do things to impress you, and youā€™re just like, 'You dont have to do that I love you too fucking much already, stop tryna make me fall for you again-'
But you always appreciate it anyways because you know that this boy just wants the best for you-
Ron is straightforward and makes it his daily goal to make you happy-
If youā€™ve had a bad day, Ron will literally go and get your favorite food/drink/thing to immediately make you feel better, and it works 100% of the time.
Aaah- This man lowkey cares a lot in the relationship and heā€™s just but a bit worried and is self conscious.
But you just tell him that he's enough and that you'll love him no matter what.
After that he'll just immediately hug you and you would press kisses on his jawline while softly rubbing his back to reassure him that youā€™re there.
Soft declarations of love are always said and done between the two of you and you knew that you couldnā€™t live without it.
It was practically essential at this point and youā€™d never ever get tired of Ron sayingĀ ā€˜I love youā€™.
Ron is also very protective of you but heā€™s embarrassed to admit it.
The amount of times he almostĀ yeeted someone because they either made you mad/uncomfortable have been endless.
Like they better HOPE that Speirs doesnā€™t find their address-
Ron isnā€™t really big on PDA but he will not hesitate to wrap an arm around your waist, and even sometimes heā€™ll sit you on his lap while he nuzzles his face on the side of your neck.
Itā€™s just a personal preference of Ronā€™s and he just doesnā€™t want people to exactly see something that is intimate, you feel?
Even though he prefers to keep your relationship private, he would always softly call you endearing terms in your ear in public.
He prefers to love you in private, and he thinks that it feels more special that way.
Ron acts the complete opposite when you two are alone or behind closed doors. Heā€™s extremely passionate and every single touch light yet intense.
Ron cannot keep his hands off you and he cherishes every moment he shares with you.Ā 
He just loves the fact that you feel so rightĀ in his hold, like you two were always meant to be.
He loves everything about you and wouldnā€™t change a single thing about yourself, I promise you that.
Ron is also a MAJOR worrywart, like if he even heard you whisper ā€˜owā€™, you better bet that heā€™s going to ZOOM his ass to you.
He also doesnā€™t express his worries verbally- oh no- his actions speak for him. Heā€™ll hold you in his arms and will ACTUALLY kiss the area where you hurt yourself.
Ron just wants you to be alright and will fret over you even if itā€™s just a papercut.
Ron is also very discreet about your relationship and God forbid anyone from seeing him being soft towards you. (And God help them even more if they decide to bring it up.)
Ron constantly thinks how amazing you are while youā€™re right next to him with your hands in his.
Heā€™s always extremely happy around you and he absolutely loves playing with your hair and itā€™s so cute.
Soft forehead kisses for this man are a must and he canā€™t help but smile when you press your lips softly against his skin.
Ron is definitely an athletic man and he adores swimming.
There have been countless times where Ron would take you to a lake just so he can swim with you.
When youā€™re done changing Ron will scoop you up and just straight up jump into the water.
Cue the WHOLESOME AS FUCK experience, thank you very much.
Itā€™s always serene and the air is always filled with laughs as you and Ron splash each other endlessly.
Kisses are always pressed against your wet cheek whenever you two go swimmingĀ 
Youā€™d also cradle his face in your hands as youā€™d stare lovingly into his eyes.
But youā€™d always finish swimming before him though and youā€™d admire him as heā€™d do laps.
Like Ronā€™s so beautiful, look at that man, heā€™s so fucking out of this world-Ā 
He might or might not have been trying to impress you by doing laps, but that's a secret we'll never know-
When youā€™re finally dry, Ron comes up behind you as he just got out of the water and hugs you, causing you to be wet all over again.
Ron also has a special spot in his heart that is reserved for playgrounds. Like when heā€™s walking with you and he spots one his eyes LIGHT up and you donā€™t need words to tell what he was thinking.
Ron loves pushing you on the swings and your laugh and smile just keep him GOIN-
Heā€™ll also wrap his arms around your waist as heā€™s behind you when youā€™re sliding on the slides-
The childlike wonder in Ron comes out whenever he sees a playground and thatā€™s one of Ronā€™s many quirks that you loved-
Like literally the main reason he likes going to playgrounds more now is so he can just see your joyful expressions and sweet laugh-
Okokok, Ron Speirs might seem like a cat, but please believe me when I say that he adores dogs!
You could see the absolute love in his eyes when he sees Trigger and you just had the most perfect idea on what to get him for Christmas.
You fell in love with a little Bernese Mountain Dog puppy (please, please, please search them up- theyā€™re adorable) and your plan was set in motion.
You immediately knew that Ron would love him too.
The lil pup was a pure fluffball of sunshine and this boy was bound to bring lots of joy during the holidays-
BUT HOLY SHIT YOU DID NOT EXPECT YOUR BOYFRIENDā€™S REACTION TO BE SO CUTE WTF-
When you presented the tiny bundle of fluff to Ron, you could see waves of euphoria emitting off of him-
You knew that Ron was already a man of a few words but he was just rendered speechless (in a good way, of course) when his eyes laid upon the Bernese puppy.
ā€œMilo.ā€
ā€œRon- What?ā€
ā€œHis name is going to be Milo.ā€
You have caught Ron multiple times with Milo on his lap and itā€™s fucking adorable.
Ron would also fall asleep with Milo in his arms and you swore you were going to take a picture of that and frame it-
Miloā€™s energetic and bouncy personality somehow complimented Ronā€™s steady and calm one.
Ā Itā€™s a beautiful dynamic and it just works in the best way possible.
Okokok Iā€™ve rambled enough, but have I mentioned how caring and amazing Ron is? Yeah? Well screw it, hereā€™s more-
Ron is a little spoon half of the time but heā€™ll never admit it like the stubborn cutie that he is-
You love holding him in your arms and he loves it all the same too!
But Ron is such a good fucking boyfriend, itā€™s making me ascend-
When youā€™d fall asleep in your desk while doing work, Ron would ALWAYS carry you back to your shared bedroom and lay you down gently on the bed.
Ron will get on the bed and heā€™d be the big spoon as heā€™d crawl into bed with you.Ā 
But then youā€™d turn to face him in your sleep and youā€™d instinctively pull him closer and your cheek would be resting on chestĀ 
Oml- I canā€™t the scene is too goddamn wholesome-
Buuuut if you fall asleep on the couch, Ron would bring a nice fluffy blanket to cover you and heā€™d sit next to you and heā€™d fall asleep while making sure you were ok-
You never liked waking up or mornings before, but mornings with Ron? Oh yeah, you were DOWN for that-
Ronā€™s fluffy tousled hair in the morning is GOLDEN and when youā€™d push it back to reveal his sleepy but hella handsome face, itā€™s fucking over I swear-
Ron also feels the same when he wakes up next to you and he genuinely thinks that itā€™s like waking up to an angel-
But Ronā€™s husky voice when he wakes up is šŸ˜©šŸ‘ŒšŸ’•, is there anymore to say???
Youā€™d two would just stay in bed cuddling with Milo by your side during the few hours of the morning and you couldnā€™t ask for anything better.
Ron was known and cemented as a hardened, scary, and stern soldier, but you didnā€™t mind one bit.Ā 
Because to you... Ron was the best thing that couldā€™ve ever happened to your life, and you couldnā€™t care less as to what other people thought of him. šŸ’ž
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oooooh iā€™m probably deceased by now, so boo- but the afterlife can wait im proud of writing these hcs!
i hope you enjoyed these hcs lovely anon and i also hope that it was good enough!
but thank you for reading, everybody, i appreciate it so much- šŸ’žšŸ’žšŸ˜©
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rynhaswritersblock Ā· 4 years ago
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tiktok famous (hc) - part two | p.p.
summary: a whole bunch of dif tiktoks featuring you and bae peter
warnings: chaotic energy, cussing, and BUTTERFLIES
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- i'm backkkkkkkkk
- so y'all really enjoyed the last tiktok imagine
- and you wanted another
- SO HERE WE GO BABYYYYYYYYY!!
- so basically....
- (just enjoy it)
- i got a lot of tiktok related comments and requests and i hope i remember them all
- (big boobs? whew chile) ANYWAYS SO:
- like pretty much none of them link together so this hc is going to be split into sections of like... blurbs!!
- yayayayayaya
- this one is inspired by @drecming
- so i think most of us know this very special sound..
- ...
- CAN'T TAKE BIG DICK BUT I SUCK ON IT
- y eah
- so as per usual
- you and peter b chillin
- they really do b vibin doe
- OH BY THE WAY
- y'all are dating in this situation :)))))))))
- and as you're binge watching your favorite show you can't stop doing the hand motions to that friggin dance
- aka the epidemic of generation z
- i keep doing the sugar by brockhampton dance i literally can't stop it's fine
- and thank god peter somehow doesn't notice
- like your movements are so subtle but you deadass keep doing it like once per minute
- and so you get up
- like "fuck this, man. if it's stuck in my head i'm at least gonna make a tiktok"
- and so you set it up
- peter's still on the couch in the background
- this boy STILL doesn't really notice what you're doing
- to be fair hsmtmts is a very enticing show ( Ķ”Ā° ĶœŹ– Ķ”Ā°)
- but as soon as the audio plays peter recognizes it
- his head WHIPS over to you
can't take big dick but i suck on it
- he raises an eyebrow at you
i ain't fucking with the pussy, got a bump on it
- *eyebrow raise intensifies*
bad bitch put the pussy on me (on me)
- he sits up, watching as your hips roll (oh man)
whip out my dick then i hump on it
- he slightly cringes at the lyrics me too peter
i'm a bad ass bitch, what you lookin at?
- your butt
ima throw that-
- "oH NO YOU DON'T!" he yells, slight smile on his face as he swiftly shoots a web at you, the string wrapping around your waist and spinning you to him
- the song continues to play as you snort, wheezing as he balances you
- the video finishes and you raise your eyebrows at him
- "no throwing it back on camera," he says pointedly
- you tilt your head in a way that screams peter i love you but you and i both know that i can do what i wanna do and over-protectiveness can be toxic
- he sighs
- "okay, you can, but i'd like it better if it were just for me"
...
- HAHAHAHA
- okay NEXT ONE
- this next one is inspired by @ritxal
- in this one you can choose your relationship
- so peter is a natural born softboy
- he didn't choose the softboy life, the softboy life chose him
- but here's the thing
- it was friday night
- you were bored
- and you decided
- it was time for a change
- and so you approached the man
- who happened to be upside down
- because when is he not
- and, ignoring his protests, gave him an e-boy makeover
- poor peter was decked the fuck out
- striped long sleeve
- band tee
- black ripped jeans wITH THE CHAIN
- nike socks and af1s
- beanie
- and most importantly
- black nails and a little black heart under his left eye
- just picture it p lease
- and it his transformation was posted on your account to forever embarrass him
- and you lowkey found this look a lil wee bit ATTRACTIVE
- whatever
- okey this one's for you @lilmissquackson !!!!!!!
- y'all ever seen the without me (halsey) ones??
- ye
- even if you haven't you'll still get it lol
- so you're in class
- learning about sokovia because history and shit
- and, bored as hecc, you decide to whip out your phone and copy this video you'd seen
- you begin filming and place your right hand on top of peter's left (yay classmates!! sitting next to each other WHOOP!)
- his gaze is hard on his paper as he continues to scribble down notes
- you turn the camera to him for a bit and you're like yes perfect
- and then you return the camera and pull your hand away
- and he REACHES OVER AND TAKES YOUR HAND BACK
- AND YOU'RE LIKE Ā Y E S
- IT WORKED OUT
- PLUS HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW AND HE'S SO CUTE
- you put the phone down, smiling, adjusting your hand a little before you realize you can't take notes anymore because your hand is occupied and using your left hand just aint it period (a/n: im so sorry if any of y'all are left handed lol but pretend y'all are in opposite positions so he has your left hand haha)
- and it's then that he looks at you
- and if his eyes don't make you MELT
- okay i'm sorry that last one was mediocre but you get the point
- alright so like in this process of writing this i've been struggling a bit with details and stuff and making it sound good and funny so they're gonna be short and sweet bc i literally don't know What To Do :)))))))))))))))))
- back to your regularly scheduled programming hell yeah
- this one's for you, @drecming
- back at it again with the ideas!!!! fuck yes!!!
- okay SO
- you seen those "i'm on my savage shit" ones?
- where the guys hand is on the girl's thigh (OR IF YOU'RE A DUDE READING THIS JUST STILL IMAGINE YOUR OWN LEG I TRY TO KEEP THIS GENDER NEUTRAL BUT I FORGET AND PLUS RN IM JUST EXPLAINING THE TIKTOK KJSDBVIBUV) and then she pulls her leg away and the music is like
iM oN mY sAvAgE sHiT
- anyways
- peter's hand is just vibing on your leg
- for you dirty minded folks no it's not vibrating or doing all that janky shit we're children of god here
- says the one who just said the s word OOPS
- and you, as per usual, pull up the sound and start recording
- peter hears the music and is like Huh????
- and then you pull your leg away, grinning at him cheekily before he grabs you, phone flying out of your hand and he pulls you into his lap
"my thigh"
- you give him a look like excuse me sir hUh
- and his face is just like
0_0
- before he smiles at you and laughs and says he's kidding
- but then he stops laughing
...
- and raises an eyebrow
- WOAHHHHHHHH SPICY
- zooooweeeeemamaaaaaaa
- aight moving on
- THE NEXT ONES ARE INSPIRED BY YOURS TRULY!! YAY ME FOR HAVING IDEAS FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!!!!
- so i'm sure you and like everyone @ your school (if you're in school.. lol) is familiar with this one
- i'm just gonna let y'all experience it idk why i've been telling the tiktok before idek sajbsidvb
- so you're in class right
- doing nothing bc your teacher sucks :////
- but its fine bc it's a fun class
- so you set up your phone with you and peter in the screen and start recording
- peter looks at the phone and then you, confused
"hey, stop!" you say in a whiny voice
- mans is like Uhhhhh what did i Do
"stop! omg peter sTop!" you're smiling at him
- he's so confused
- and then as you're talking
- your voice suddenly lowers into your lower register
"stop!! peter stop it- I SAID STOP."
- his eyes widen and a confused smile is on his face as he jumps back slightly
"YOU KEEP PLAYING *smacks your hand on the table* TOO DAMN MUCH."
- the video stops and you and peter are just silent for a second before busting out laughing
"you've never seen those?"
"no????"
"god peter, you live under a rock"
- the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand: hey! bonk bonk bonk got any grapes?
- sorry i randomly thought of that
- okay NEXT
- this is the one that hits different
- gets you in your FEELS
- DAMN
- we all know peter's a gamerboy
- so he's just chilling playing minecraft on the xbox or something
- what a fuckin nerd
- jk minecraft slaps so hard
- anyways
- as per usual, you set up the camera and start filming
- and you
- i think you know what i'm talkin about
- you slip underneath his arms
- and start crawling into his lap
- and the SECOND he registers what's going on he fucking YEETS the controller behind him and wraps his arms around you
- and when i say yeets
- i mean like
- ZOOM
- you bury your arm in the crook of his neck and you feel him physically relax under you (heartbeat racing though of course) and hold you tighter, planting gentle kisses along your neck and shoulder
- ..
- god FUCK talk about B U T T E R F L I E S
- y'all are going to HATE ME for this one
- prepare yourselves
- so you guys are just chilling in peters room as y'all normally do
- and peter goes to the bathroom
- and like stupid adorable fuck he is
- mans left his phone on silly goose
- and of course
- we all know you can't help yourself
- so like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING
- you decide to snatch it and go look at his tiktok drafts, god knows why
- and the first one you tap
- WHEW CHILE
- your jaw drops to the floor as soon as you read the text on the video
"so apparently when a guy's chain dangles it's attractive..?"
- heart skips a beat
- hands are sweaty
- knees spaghetti
- you look up to make sure the bathroom door is still shut before you whip out your phone and start videoing
- peter is looking nervously cute into the camera before he leans out of shot,
- you know what's next
- and right as the beat drops
- he shows up, SHIRTLESS, with his cross necklace (you've only seen him wear once lmao) dangling down
- not to mention the goddamn CURLS hanging down
- and your heartbeat quickens
- ... both heartbeats...
- then fucking PETER JUST STROLLS INTO THE ROOM
- ALL INNOCENT N SHIT AS IF HE DIDN'T HAVE A VIDEO ON HIS PHONE THAT LITERALLY MADE YOU READY TO RISK IT ALL
- "why do you have my phone?"
- you've never slammed it onto the bed so fast
- "no reason"
- he raises a suspicious eyebrow before picking up his phone and unlocking it
- and the fear in his eyes when the screen opens to his video
- he looks back up at you, mouth slightly open in fear/awe/ohshitohgodohFUCK
- and you and your goddamn mouth-
- "peter, it's hot"
- and oh how the look in his eyes changed
šŸ˜ˆ
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until next time <3
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achieveandhunt Ā· 5 years ago
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live typing extra life 2019
part 2
warning: this was a mistake and iā€™m in the grapes
this starts right at Facilities vs AH. link to first post
letā€™s fuck some shit up babEY
oh what the fuck theyā€™re playing a prerecorded video
last year was a fuckin doozy, nobody forget that
ā€œlegends of the under achieverā€ i didnā€™t know someone wrote my biography
why do i hear geoff screaming ā€œFIVE FUCKIN FOURā€ in my head, like in the legends of the hidden temple minecraft videos
jeremy looks. so dead inside on this fine november evening
ryan buzzing while theyā€™re trying to explain the rules
my video quality went down so much that i thought i was watching someone playing roblox for a second
ryan ā€œsalty mother fuckerā€ haywood has made a lovely appearance. heā€™s my favorite
michael and lindsay looking so domestic makes me so happy,, theyā€™re my parents
someone donated under the name ā€œryan goes feralā€ uh??? yeah? you say that like itā€™s a bad thing??
oH FUCK MICHAEL GO DRIVE WIN PLEASE
jeremy HAS BROKEN OUT THE GLASSES SHITā€™S SERIOUS
NO THEYā€™RE LOSING GOD DAMMIT
Ź³Źøįµƒāæ į¶¦āæ įµ—Ź°įµ‰ įµ‡įµƒį¶œįµįµŹ³įµ’įµ˜āæįµˆ, įµ įµ˜į¶¦įµ‰įµ—Ė”Źø: Ź°įµ‰Ė”įµ–
JEREMY ITā€™S TIME TO TEST OUT THAT NONEXISTENT GAG REFLEX AND SWALLOW THE OPPONENTā€™S CONTROLLER
oh nvm theyā€™re winning again lmao
OH FUCK thEYRE LOSING
oh nvm
OH FUCK
oh nvm they unplugged his contoller lol
OH FUCKING TH EY LOST MICHAEL JONES MY HEART IS BROKEN
the amount of people watching has gone up from 32k to 40k in the past fifteen minutes
michael ā€œhurry up you dumb cuntsā€ jones
ā€œoh donā€™t worry about destroying our cabinet, itā€™s essentially matchsticksā€
ā€œhow are you feeling john? are you ready for this?ā€ ā€œMM M M Mmm mMā€
TEAM NICE DYNAMITE IS NEXT AND IM READY FOR PERMANENTLY RINGING EARS FROM ALL THE LEET DONATIONS
oH god here we go
ā€œhopefully they havenā€™t been saving them all dayā€ oh honey. youā€™ve got a big storm coming
if xavier slaps gavin i think gav might go up in a puff of smoke
i did the math, they went up 45k+ within five minutes of team nice dynamite showing up on stream
GAVIN AND MICHAEL ARE GOING TO DIE
THEREā€™S GONNA BE A MOONBALL SIZED HOLE IN GAVINā€™S CHEST
ryan and lindsay both donating a grand during this segment... so good
the day gavin free successfully gets a tattoo is the day i drop dead
lindsay saying she didnā€™t want the TND tattoo on michael but she agreed because gav is michaelā€™s boi :(((Ā 
iā€™m too sleep deprived for this i might cry
oh god michaelā€™s punching the floor
iā€™m too sober for this
EIGHTY EIGHT LEET DONATIONS IN TWENTY MINUTES HOLY FUCJKIGN SHIT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE THROWING MOONBALLS FOR FUCKIN SIX YEARS
on a sentimental note- i love how much collective love we have for gav and michael,, they deserve it all
milk boarded has some not-so-great connotations attached to it
gavinĀ ā€œthe bullshit bitchā€ free
a mark nutt reference?? in my 2019 extra life????
this just in: sarah is going to obliterate gavin
oh. oh my god. that was the sound of a wet fish smacking a wall
why is jeremy the liquor goblin walking like a crab that has a bird attached to its back??? see: flapping arms
that beer and milk concoction... gag
ā€œdrink that milk yardā€
ā€œYOU GOT MY TOES MILKYā€
no. nO MICHAEL NO YOUR INTESTINES NOO
michaelĀ ā€œthe milkā€™s in my brainā€ jones
ā€œstop pouring it on people!ā€Ā ā€œiTā€™S HARD DICKHEADā€
lindsay is now. taking a milk shower
*caiti brings a small roll of paper towels* *gavin gently places a single paper towel on the massive puddle of milk*
no LINDSAY NO THINK OF THE CHILDREN
gavin: this has gotten way out of hand. sheā€™s... sheā€™s swimming in an inch of milk! everyone knows you should swim in at least two!!
the fajita seasoning will solve everythinG everyone calm down
fiona: yeah this is my first extra life. jack: and what were you expecting? fiona: this. exactly this.
ah yes. the bunny suits have arrived and michael is ready to tackle gavin
aaaand here comes the AH fanfic. it can only get worse from here so buckle up fuckos
ā€œholy fuckeroniā€
ā€œre-reanimated trevorā€
michael is so fucking smashed and god i wish that was me
ā€œcum-ductorā€
fiona ā€œthis is a white manā€ nova
ā€œbone-atingā€ *leet donation* *leet donation*Ā 
ā€œready set blowā€ made me genuinely bust a lung laughing
aaaand michaelā€™s licking the floor which is to be expected
jeremyĀ ā€œiā€™m gonna actually harm youā€ dooley
IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP RANCH IM GOING TO WALK TO AUSTIN AND PROJECTILE VOMIT ON THE OFF TOPIC SET
no JEREMY NO YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE I THOUGHT YOU WOULDNā€™T DO THIS GET OFF THE FĀ  L O O R
donā€™t get close ups on jeremyā€™s tongue. donā€™t do that to me. i donā€™t want nightmares
ā€œfuck rootā€Ā ā€œletā€™s just fucking fuckā€
1 2 3 CONSENT
michael has gone full gerkie
alfredoā€™s look when larry is reading the part about trevor choking him is how i feel about everything thatā€™s happened in the past twenty minutes
almost 300k in less than an hourĀ 
fiona sayingĀ ā€œi donā€™t want thisā€ overlaying michael humping a trash can
ā€œTAKE THE TACO CHADā€
aaaand michaelā€™s in the trash can
nO why is there a triangle is this a POETRY READING ALL OF A SUDDEN
oh thank god itā€™s over
OH FUCK THEREā€™S A N EPILOGUE
aaand trevorā€™s dead again. poor treyco
DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS EVERYONE PUT A CUP IN YOUR PANTS
people singing along... what goes on
why am i downloading this fuckin song asap
jeremy turning his phone flashlight on and waving it like heā€™s at a concert god dammit i love these people so much
those are my BOYS
oh my gosh theyā€™re still singing the song. why is my heart so happy from this i need to get slapped
ā€œcome on youā€™ve never been waterboarded before gavin?ā€
everyone standing in a circle shining their flashlights at gavin
someone surprise them and instead of a moonball just yeet a whole gallon of milk at them
actually, on second thought, no
OH god GavIN Is GOING to DieĀ 
gavinĀ ā€œi forgot to breatheā€ free
several milk explosions
gavinĀ ā€œmy brain is coldā€ free
michael has milk dripping from his ears
iā€™m about to pass out i donā€™t know whatā€™s happening
michael is in the grapes right now man
how many moonballs? oh, only 107. :)
iā€™m not writing this part- you guys have to watch the moonball segment yourself, if you didnā€™t watch it live!
team nice dynamite finishes up with over 300k!! holy shit, thatā€™s so cool! this community is awesome
werewolf is up next!
xavier is such a gentleman can we keep him
alfredo: *chooses to kill miles* trevor in the audience: *silently freaking out*
xavier is about ruin another man on stream
miles has no self preservation instinct
barbara is now smelling fiona
this just in: i love alfredo and 100% would have done the same thing
trevor running up to film alfredo getting smacked. what an icon
alfredo SCREAMING oh my god i felt it in my soul
the high-five of the backs in solidarity of intense pain
miles choosing alfredo is so fucking good
and also, i feel so badĀ 
his heart might shoot out of his asshole this time guys
oh NOOO HEā€™s so bruised :(((( fredo nooo :((
oh my god itā€™s gotten to the usual point in the stream where you start to question whether someone is going to die this time
rip blaine but at least i think he can take the hit
he can but ouch it still hurts meĀ 
barbaraĀ ā€œiā€™m participating in the gameā€ dunkleman
yo miles might win this game
the crowd when someone needs to shoot barb: TREVOR TREVOR TREVOR! trevor, with the strength of a thousand suns: N O
people are now chanting about shooting an unprotected trevor. the man already died once this stream god dammit
alfredo is about to throw hands for fiona
thatā€™s a big F in the chat for miles, but his loss is well deserved
xavierā€™s hands could serve as a defibrillator
alfredo showed jeremy his chest and jeremy shied away as if he was looking at the sun
Ā --- iā€™m taking another break to finish an assignment---
iā€™m barely alive and itā€™s ready set show timeĀ 
oh god please no more shock collars
iā€™m so fucking tiiiiredd please take thge res t of this postĀ  wigthĀ  a grain of salt lbecasue i can hardly type at this ponitnĀ 
ā€œdo you want to control the shock collarsā€Ā ā€œwill there be repercussionsā€Ā ā€œnoā€Ā ā€œfuck yeah iā€™ll do it thenā€
ā€œsmother the children. steal the babyā€Ā ā€œDONT STEAL THE BABY TREVORā€
lunging forwardĀ ā€œs c a r eĀ  t h eĀ  b a b yā€Ā ā€œOKAY Iā€™M PASSING THIS ONEā€
ā€œyou canā€™t bake popcorn????ā€ jeremy hits the floor
alec and matt clearly = dream team
oh thasnk god the shock collars are on their arms now i was stressed out for chris earlier
this stream does not promote recreational nyquil usageĀ 
i donā€™t even know how to explain the pure insanity of what ready set show has become
alec has become this whole segment
i would write more but i have no thoughts because my brain doesnā€™t work
larryĀ ā€œmakes people fuck other people besides their wifeā€ insert last name that my brain canā€™t come up with
anyways. marbles
oh. no marbles
iā€™ve blacked out idk what happened during backwardz compatible
i mean i was awake but does that really mean anything at this point
SPPOKU PSOOKY SPPOKKKY SPOOOKY !!! FUCL YEAHĀ 
cole is so good during this segment
oh so many 1337s right awayĀ 
the real scariest thing during the segment: being genuine
oH my god the scream being pitched up. i have fucking dogs outside of my house now
i donā€™t fuck w/ ghosts no thank you
ā€œaba-jailā€ wow if u guys werenā€™t gonna get haunted before you will now
okay iā€™m about to pass out i have to take a nap
oH fucking I SLEPT until thirty minutes before the en dĀ  fuck
conclusion: this community is incredible and raised an unimaginable amount of money for charity. the fact that rooster teeth does this every year is awesome, and honestly, it makes me feel hopeful in times when things arenā€™t so great. so yeah! for the kids & stuffĀ 
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maandags Ā· 5 years ago
Text
Eidolon (Angel!Keith x Demon!reader) {part iv}
i have no excuse for the wait except that im an idiot who took this school year too lightly yeet
-- -- --
Summary: Keith is an angel, and heā€™s completed mission after mission for the Upper Hand, the organisation controlling all of the Above. Heā€™s only failed a mission once: when he was assigned to kill you, a surprisingly charismatic demon. He roamed Earthā€“Middle Groundā€“for years before he was caught by the Upper Hand again, and things quickly go south.
Genre: angst. because whats new
Word count: 8.7K
Notes: CW: graphic violence/blood, emotional manipulation - masterlist - {previous} -- {next }
-- -- --
if heaven's grief brings hell's rain
then iā€™d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
~ Just One Yesterday, Fall Out Boy
-- -- --
You wake up from a deep, dreamless sleep, disoriented and shivering despite the multiple layers you have on and thick comforter stacked upon you. It takes a moment before the events of the previous night rush back into your mind and cloud your thoughts, and you throw an arm over your face, inhaling deeply.
A huge weight has fallen off your shoulders. Last night, you didn't realise as much, your tired 3 A.M. mind already struggling to focus with the fact that Keith--who had been deathly sick only hours before--was up and about and sitting at your kitchen table and eating chinese takeout. But now that you had the quiet of the early morning to yourself you could feel the knots in your shoulders loosen and the lead seep out of your limbs.
You slowly shift your legs out of bed, still slightly dazed. Sunlight peeks out through the cracks in the shutters covering your window, and you cast a look at the alarm clock sitting on your nightstand. It's barely 7 A.M. And it's also a Saturday. While that doesn't matter much in terms of noiseā€“a city is a city, after all, and this one certainly is never quietā€“your neighbours' kids aren't allowed out of bed before nine on Saturdays, which gives you at least two small hours of peace and quiet.
You stagger to the bathroom and let the hot shower water beat down your stiff muscles, trying to draw out the permanent chill that seems to have settled deep into your bones. It works a little bit, but when you get out of the steamy little cell and wrap a towel around your torso you can feel it trickle back into the pit of your stomach, like an icy worm that's decided to make your body its home. It's more of a discomfort than a true pain, though, so you decide to ignore it.
Your hair is still damp when you pull an extra thick sweater over your head, stick your feet in warm socks and tiptoe your way over to the living room.
Keith is still asleep. You don't blame himā€“he's still recovering, even though he already looks so much better than the previous night. The colour is back in his cheeks. The dark circles and the hollowness under his eyes have started to fade away. He's still thin, and he doesn't smell too good, but you decide against waking him just yet.
In the kitchen, you put on the kettle and pull open the fridge in search of something to eat. The unfinished boxes of chinese sit in front, half-open from when you hastily stowed them away. You pull one out, sniff it, then shrug as you grab for a spoon.
The kitchen windowsill is probably not the spot a lot of people would pick to lounge on, an early Saturday morning. But you've always liked to watch the sun rise over the tall buildings, and the soft orange glow you're treated with today is worth waking up so early for. You rest your face on the knee you've pulled up beside you as you shovel another spoonful of rice into your mouth.
The orange slowly fades out into yellow, then into blue. It's soothing to watch, and you find yourself slow your breathing and close your eyes as the city wakes up beneath you. Noises of starting cars and motorbikes drift up to your window, and chattering fills the street. People exit their homes, throwing delightful glances up at the sunny sky; unexpected after the heavy rain of the previous night.
You finish your takeout, do some chores around the house. Change your bedsheets. Prepare a change of clothes for when Keith finally wakes up. Open the windows to let in some fresh air. Prepare a cup of tea and claim back your spot on the windowsill. It's a peaceful morning, and the air doesn't feel quite as heavy as usual.
And then there's a rustling in the room beside you, and a crash asā€“you assumeā€“Keith tumbles off your sofa and hits the ground. A faint groan floats past the kitchen doorway and you try to hide your grin. A couple of seconds later a very dishevelled-looking Keith stumbles into the kitchen.
"Morning," you tell him, rolling your shoulders once so they won't go stiff against the windowsill. He nods at you, dark eyes bleary. "Feel better?"
He sniffs. "I don't feel like I just got struck by lightning and dragged behind a racecar over an especially rocky road. So I guess that's improvement."
You blow on the hot tea in your hands. "I'm glad. Would have hated to have gone through all that trouble for nothing. You're quite the guest, you know."
Keith winces at the words, despite your light tone. For some reason, his frown and pained expression tug at your stomach. "But I don't mind it," you add hurriedly. "I meanā€“it was my own choice to take you in. I very well could not have done that. Butā€“but I did." Shut up, shut up, shut up, you shouted internally.
The corners of Keith's mouth lift ever so slightly. "Lucky for me."
"Lucky for you," you agree with a grin.
It's silent for a while, and in the sunlight, you can clearly see how thin Keith really is. His shirt hangs from his frame in a shapeless lump of cloth, his trousers sagging and almost slipping from his bony hips. While he does look betterā€“the life has returned to his eyesā€“he still doesn't look good, and the sight of him makes your guts twist. You point to the fridge. "There's leftovers from yesterday. Grab whatever you wantā€“but be careful not to eat too much. I don't want you puking all over my kitchen."
But Keith has already found the other chinese box, and you show him which drawers contain cutlery and in which cupboard are stashed the glasses. He scarfs down the rice in ten minutes flat, and you shake your head in silent judgement. "I'm going to find a way to make you pay back everything you'll cost me, food-wise. You're in debt, starting today."
He gives you a shy grin, but his attention is quickly taken up once more by the food in front of him. You quietly sip your tea, staring out of the window, occasionally glancing at the angel sitting at your kitchen table.
That's when it truly hits you how much of an idiot you're being.
Last night, it had been late. Five days of nothing on your mind but the thought of trying to keep him alive, and finally finding a way to do so, had left you shaky and dazed. Seeing him up and about after getting used to the sound of his ragged, unsteady breathing floating through your apartment had been a shock.
But now the full weight of what you'd doneā€“and what you hadn't doneā€“crashes into you, and you realise you have absolutely no idea how to feel. The air charges with tension, and the angel leans back in his seat. He looks about as uncomfortable as you feel. Your mind whirls with thoughts, all seeming to want something differentā€“the part of you that's curious where this whole situation would lead and is whispering to you to let him stay; the part of you that's still a loyal soldier to the Below and is screaming at you to turn him in; the part of you that wants nothing to do with any of this and is growling to throw him back out on the street. You shake your head, downing the last of your tea and hopping off the counter.
"Take a shower when you're done with that," you mutter. "I have to get back to work soon. My co-workers are gonna ask questions and I need to be prepared."
Keith nods. Your phone is already in your hands and you fire off a quick text to the shelter's manager to inform him you'd be in this afternoon. You don't know Anthony that wellā€“he mostly keeps to the side and handles potential adopters. You prefer to stay with the animals. Almost immediately you receive a reply: he says he's delighted that you've decided to return so soon after taking your unexpected leave. You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the barely-veiled passive-aggressiveness.
"Oh, yeah." You turn and point at Keith with your phone. "You can stay for as long as you need to, like, get your bearings and feel somewhat okay again, but then I'm kicking you out. I don't know if you have any idea of how much of a risk I'm taking here, butā€“"
"I get it," he cuts you off, and you can tell he means it. He needs to work on concealing his emotions, you think off-handedly. He's an open book. It's distracting. "Thank you. Seriously."
The tension builds until it's almost tangible. You shake your head, trying to shake the dizziness away. "It'sā€“yeah. My pleasure, or whatever. I'm locking the door behind me." He gives a brief incline of his head to show he understands. "All right then. Later, I guess. Makeā€“make sure you've showered. You kind of smell," you say apologetically. "No offence."
"None taken," he laughs. "You're right, anyway."
You make a gesture that's in between a nod and a headshake, then make a blind grab for your coat and your scarf before pulling the door closed behind you and locking it.
The shelter's lights are on, and its illuminated windows stand out starkly in the dim grimness of the gloomy street. It doesn't rain, for once, but grey clouds hang overhead and block the sun, the little light that makes it past them flimsy and thin. You pull the door closed behind you. The little bell above the doorway rings once, softly, and barking immediately pipes up from the next room over. You smile.
"Hey, loves," you mutter to each animal as you pass their cages, stopping here and there and sticking your fingers through the bars to give a furry face a pat, or to scratch a scaly butt, or to stroke a feathered head. "I missed you guys."
"They missed you too, I think," comes a quiet voice from behind you. You crouch and open a cage, plucking out a small cat and scritching it behind the ears. "They've been rather unruly in the days you weren't here. Restless, you know."
"Hi, Tony."
"Y/N." He inclines his head. "Did you have a nice leave?" It's a question purely out of politeness, you know, because he's your employer and he's supposed to be polite. As far as employers go, Tony really isn't the worst of them. But you can't shake the feeling that he's fishing for something.
"I did. I've been busy," you say cautiously, not taking your eyes off of the kitten you're cradling. "Sorry for it being so unexpected."
"Oh, not at all," Tony replies smoothly, sailing over to where you sit and leaning on the wall behind you, "We've managed. It was your week off, anyway, and just because you've insisted on working in your free time before doesn't mean that you always will." But it doesn't take amazing detective skills to hear the suspicious edge to his voice.
"That's right," you say, maybe a little too sharply. You can almost smell Tony's raised eyebrow behind you. "Sorry. I've justā€“I've been a little on edge, lately. I'llā€“" You scramble up, depositing the kitten back in its cage and dusting fur off your t-shirt. "I'll be in the back." You have the weird urge to salute, but you manage to suppress it. He's already suspicious, you remind yourself. Don't make it worse by acting weird.
It is a shame you can't spend more time with the animals, but you're not the only one who decided to come in todayā€“it's actually quite crowded for a Saturdayā€“so you get storage room duty and instead spend your afternoon putting away boxes of food and medicine and cleaning products. Emmie, one of your co-workers, sticks her head around the corner of your door at the end of the day.
"Hey. We're gonna go get milkshakes, wanna come?"
Your back screams when you push off the chair, eager for an excuse to cut your day short. "You're a godsend." The expression is actually used exclusively as an insult in the Below, but you find you like the Middle Ground version better. "Let me just grab my shoes, I'll be right there."
Hopping on one foot as you finish tying your laces, you join Emmie, Nirina, Adam and Zach as they stride out the door, Emmie and Zach's arms linked. In the back of your mind you recognise that's strange: Emmie and Zach can't stand each other. A smile curls the corners of your lips. You did miss quite a lot this past week, didn't you?
"We're going to this new place a few blocks down," Emmie shouts over her shoulder. You try to chat with Nirina for a bit, but she's more silent than usual, barely saying a word, and eventually she retreats to walk next to Adam behind you. When you don't focus on it, a black, vaguely animal-shaped shadow seems to sit on her shoulder, but when you look directly at it nothing's there.
Something isn't right here.
The feeling creeps into your very bones, making the hairs on your neck stand on edge and your shoulder blades tingle. The sense that you're being watched, and moreā€“as you realise that with Nirina and Adam behind you and Emmie and Zach in front of you, it almost feels like you're being escorted. Guarded.
"Hey, Em," you call. Your hand creeps towards your pocket, but with a start you remember you left your knife at home. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "What's the place we're going called?"
Emmie turns around and flashes you a fanged grin. Your blood turns to ice. "So Above, So Below." And then she pounces--and pushes you straight through the pavement. You don't even have time to scream.
You lose all sense of direction. Up is down and left is right as you fall, fall, fall through a black hole, Emmie's nails still digging into your shoulders, though you're sure if you actually opened your eyes you'd see they're claws. You try to tug yourself loose, but her grip immediately tightens. You hiss when you feel her talons draw blood.
"No getting away, Y/N dear," she giggles into your ear.
Well, at least you know what sheā€“and the others too, by the sound of itā€“is. Only Bountyhunters can get to the Below or the Above without using one of the doors or passages, instead creating their own temporary ones. You've travelled by Bounty Tunnel before. It's not a memory you cherish. The only thing you can do is close your eyes and hope it'll be over soon.
When you finally make contact, all the air is knocked out of you and for a moment you see nothing but black spots dancing in front of your eyes. Then you suck in a scorching breath and blink, and the familiar stark white ceiling of the Offices comes into view. You groan, and when you try to sit up, your hands catch in ashy grey feathers: your wings have popped. You flush, already feeling Haggar's disapproving scowl digging into your back. How unprofessional, she'd mumble.
Haggar has always hated your gutsā€“even back when you were still loyal to the Below.
Emmieā€“except she looks nothing like Emmie anymoreā€“tosses her long dark ponytail over her shoulder and sighs. "That was almost too easy. We were told you'd be a challenge."
"I haven't been feeling well," you reply, voice icy as you stand up and shake out your wings. You don't miss the way Emmie's expression sours and suppress a smirk. Bounties don't have wings, and they'll never stop being salty about it. "Also, four against one? That seems a little unfair, even for Management." You pause. "I'm assuming you got hired by Management."
"Of course we got hired by Management, demon," Zach snarls. He runs his fingers through his hair and glares at you, his fangs growing by the second and soon touching his chin. And then his face begins to change, his jaw softening (though not by much), his eyes growing more cat-like, his lips plumping. You frown, because you know this face. You know her.
Zethrid grins, fangs shining in the white LED light. "Long time no see, Y/N." You give a sarcastic wave.
"Yes, Y/N," comes an icy voice from behind you. Your shoulders tense, and your feathers puff involuntarily. "Long time no see indeed."
Haggar glides out of her office doors, and you feel all the stony calm and resistance leave you in one fell swoop. Her yellow eyes bore into yours, and it takes every ounce of willpower inside you not to look away. She nods her head, once. "My office, Y/N. Now."
"You're so dead," mutters Zethrid as you pass her.
"When I get out of here, you're the first person whose throat I'll slit," you hiss in return.
Haggar slumps in her seat and plucks her looking glass from its stand, making it levitate over her hand and glaring like she has a personal vendetta against it. "If it were up to me, I would already have you burning and hanging from the Grand Hall ceiling," she says, vanishing the mirror in a cloud of smoke. You try to ignore the pang of fear stabbing into your chest. You're gonna be fine, you tell yourself. You're going to be okay. But you find it hard to believe the words.
"Butā€“" the mirror reappears in her other handā€“ "a certain Prince insisted on keeping you alive." She whirls the looking glass around and it floats in front of your face. Prince Lotor of the Below looks at you with a scrutinising gaze, as if gauging how much you'd be worth on the night market.
"Y/N," he says in a clear voice. You nod, then quickly incline your head in a slight bow. Watch your tongue, Y/N. Watch. Your. Tongue. "No need for that." Lotor snaps his fingers, and you look up again, eyes fixed on the rim of the looking glass, determined not to meet Lotor's. You're afraid of what you might see.
It's silent for a moment, and you keep your mouth shut for as long as you can, but you eventually break. "Forgive me, Lord, butā€“"
"Shut up." It takes all of your willpower not to cock your head and narrow your eyes in indignation. Lotor leans forward, elbows perched on his desk and fingertips pressed together. His cold gaze is calculating and cruel, and your entire body reels with disgust and hatred. "I didn't keep you alive because I care about what happens to you. Because I don't," he clarifies with a raised eyebrow, and this time you can't keep the grimly sarcastic smile at bay. "I kept you alive because I need you to do a job."
"With all due respect, sir, I don't think I'm the right person for any job." You try to keep your voice light and your fists unclenched, but it's a harder task than you want to admit.
"Told him so," Haggar mutters from behind the mirror. You can tell she thoroughly disagrees with being used as a TV-stand. "There are so much more competent candidates for this assignment who actually want to prove themselves and their loyalty to us." You have the feeling she's talking directly to Lotor now. "But no, you just had to get the one rogue who'll do everything in their power to get out from thisā€“"
"Enough," Lotor says coolly, and Haggar clamps her jaw shut, though her eyes flash with murder. You don't know who she wants to kill more at the moment: you or Lotor. "Y/N will do the job, and they'll do it without complaining."
"You sound awfully sure." You've since given up on trying to be respectful. Lotor might be the Prince of the Below, but you had wriggled yourself out of more difficult situations than these before. You're already carefully plotting an escape.
Because the mistake most people make when they see you is that they underestimate you. They think they have you pinned down, and then they loosen their hold and up till now, that has always worked out in your favourā€“you know how to manipulate people and you know how to get out of the Below. You know every single of the dozens and dozens of passageways leading out onto Middle Ground, and from there on you know how to hide. You've done it before, and managed to keep off their radar for quite a while.
In fact, the only reason they caught you now was because you had been too preoccupied with a certain angel to keep your thoughts straight. A mistake, and one you won't be making again.
"I am sure," Lotor's clear voice cuts through your thoughts and pulls you back to the present. "There's a contract on the desk. Sign it, and we'll give you the details."
You can't stop the startled laugh that bursts past your lips. "A Blank Contract? You expect me to sign a Blank Contract?"
Lotor merely cocks his head and smiles that lazy smile of his.
And then the little looking glass shatters and you yelp, taking a step backwards in surprise, feeling your muscles tense. "I do," his voice says from behind you, and you whirl around just in time to see Lotor sail into Haggar's office.
Haggar gives a sharp sigh and brushes shattered glass off her uniform. "Do you always have to do that? Those mirrors are expensive, you know. I'm gonna have you pay for them if you insist on making a dramatic entrance every time."
Lotor ignores her, his gaze fixed on you. He waves his hand, and a piece of paper appears between his fingers. It's mostly blank, save for one thickly outlined black square with an inscription you can't read from where you stand, but you know what they say: Candidate's signature. "I'm not signing." But your voice has a tremor to it, and you suddenly feel a lot smaller as Lotor strides towards you. It was a lot easier to disrespect the Prince of the Below through a looking glass.
His eyes flash with irritation. "You will." Somehow, those two words hold more threat to them than all the insults the Bounties threw at you earlier.
But you set your jaw and clench your fists. "I'd rather die. I'm. Not. Signing." You had vowed to not ever help the Below in any way, shape or form again. It wasn't worth it.
"Told you so," Haggar sing-songs from behind her desk, a maniacal glint to her eye. "Just take one of the actually competent ones. Let me string them up."
Lotor gives a sharp sigh. "Touch them and I'll be stringing you up." Haggar pouts and crosses her arms. He turns to you, and the coolness in his eyes sends shivers up your spine. The realisation hits you like a freight train. He's done something. He knows something. He would never be this sure of himself if he didn't have an absolutely airtight plan.
Then Lotor waves his hand again, and another mirror you hadn't noticed beforeā€“a looking glass spanning from the floor to the ceiling, partially hidden by a black curtainā€“lights up, and the image you see has all the colour drain from your face and your heart skip a beat.
Allura is tied to a chair and breathing hard, her nurse's scrubs hanging crookedly, torn and dirty. A nasty cut spans from her cheekbone to her eyebrow, and blood runs down the side of her face. Tears mix with the grime and blood smearing her cheeks. Behind her stand Emmie and Zethrid the Bountyhunters, crazed smiles painted upon both their faces.
As soon as she sees you, Allura lets out a strangled cry that is muffled by the gag strung over her mouth. Her eyes widen, and you rush forward, stopping just short of the mirror's surface, afraid to break it. Your shaking fingertips hover just shy of the surface before you pull them back to your chest. Tears threaten to spill past your eyes, so you push them down and try to take a breath.
"Is this real?" You know how hallucinations work. You know how powerful illusions can be, and you know exactly how useful of a tool they can be in manipluation. It's a tool you've used yourself.
"Maybe. Maybe not," says Lotor's soft voice. His breath washes over the side of your face, and you can feel sick rise in your throat. All compusure is lost. It's all or nothing now. Thoughts muddle and get mixed up in your mind until all you can focus on is Allura, terrified and hurt, sitting in front of you yet separated by a thin sheet of glass and who knows how many miles.
A crazy thought of Maybe I can free her pops up, but you beat it down immediately again. You don't know where she is. You don't know if this is even real. Lotor would immediately order her killed if you attempted anything remotely similar to a breakout. Then kill Lotor, a ragged voice in your mind screams.
"Come, come, no rash decisions now," Lotor says as if he just read your thoughts. His hands ghost over your shoulders, sliding down until they reach your elbows. He gently forces them to your sides, and you don't even have the strength in you to resist. A fresh stream of tears runs down Allura's cheeks, and she weakly thrashes against her bonds, and in the end, that's what yanks you out of your stupor.
Your chin snaps up. "So you'll let her go if I sign the contract?"
Lotor rolls his eyes. "Look whose wits have returned to them." He lets go of your elbows and takes a step toward the mirror, hands clasped behind his back and his hungry gaze raking across Allura's form. She looks up at him with a mix of hatred and fear in her eyes. She's given up struggling against the ropes, but her jaw is set, and her eyes are steely; terrified, but determined. Her gaze flicks back to you and she gives the tiniest shake of her head.
Lotor reels back and laughs, the sound booming within the office walls. He shakes his head, still chuckling, his long silvery hair swishing behind him as he stalks back to the desk and swoops up the contract. "Feisty. I like that. Doesn't have the slightest clue of what's going on but still tells you to not do the thing you obviously don't want to do." He flashes you a fanged grin that makes your blood run cold. "I just might pay her a visit later myself."
"That's Middle Ground, my Prince," you manage through gritted teeth. "I'll find and kill you before you even have a chance to knock on her door."
"That's some confidence you've got right there, Y/N. Keep it for the job."
"I haven't signed your contract yet."
Lotor cocks his head and his grin widens. "Yet being the keyword here."
You turn back to the mirror, scanning Allura for any sign that she might not be real, looking for something that might hint that her image is off. Something. Anything. But your manic brain is running in circles, looking for loopholes that might not even be there, and you know you're not making sense, because the chance that she's just an illusion is there, but on the off-chance that she isn't, that she actually is in dangerā€“
You would never forgive yourself if she were to get hurt and you could have put a stop to it.
"It's possible," you breathe, your hands curling to fists. "It's possible that none of this is real."
Lotor nods as if your words are perfectly reasonable. "True." There's a beat of silence, and his feverish eyes bore into yours. "But are you willing to take that risk?"
Anyone elseā€“any proper demonā€“would have laughed in his face and torn the contract to shreds, watching gleefully as Allura got tortured in front of their eyes. But you had left behind your demon ways a good while ago, and you had always been a rotten pupil anyway. So you bite your tongue and snatch the contract and pen from Lotor's waiting fingers, scribbling your signature down hard enough that you pierce the paper.
"See, I knew you'd come around in the end!" He claps his hands in delight and throws a triumphant glance Haggar's way. "I told you so."
"Yeah, yeah," she mumbles, waving a hand as if to dismiss his words. She gives you a slightly disapppointed stare. "I was rooting for you, kiddo. Show some spine next time."
You fight the tears threatening to spill and slap the now-signed contract back onto the desk. "All right. Details, Lotor. What's the assignment?"
His eyes flash. Business; there's something he knows. "We received word that one of the Above's most prized angels has just gone rogue." He starts pacing, and your eyes keep finding Allura's behind himā€“but she looks at you with pity and something that's almost disappointment, and you have to look away before you break down completely. "It came out of nowhere, too: stellar record, followed orders without a second thought. A great soldier." You don't miss the punch behind the words.
"And you want me to do, what, kill him?" That wouldn't be too hard. At least, you think. Your mind is still a bit muddy, but something ugly and twisted inside you is still desperate for Management's approval. Still eager to prove yourself. I can be a good soldier too.
"Oh no, no," Lotor says with a dismissive wave of his hand, "I just want you to find him and bring him in. It shouldn't be that hard to doā€“after all, who better to track a rogue than another rogue themselves?"
There's still something else. Something he isn't telling you. Sure, you're good at what you doā€“at what you used to doā€“but was it worth going through all the trouble just to get you to sign the stupid contract? As much as you loathed to do it, you silently had to agree with Haggar on this one. There were so many young demons scrambling for their chance to prove themselves and their worthā€“why not let them take this assignment?
"Thatā€“that's it?"
Lotor cocks a brow. "I mean, unless you wanted more work, I guess that's it.'
You give a cautious nod. "Okay. So what do we know about this guy?"
"Not much. My sources weren't able to provide very recent informationā€“"
"Get better sources."
"ā€“But what they do know is that this particular angel has been off the map for years. Quite like you," he adds as he raises his other eyebrow. You roll your eyes. "He's impossible to find, quite hard to track, and a very skilled fighter. Rumour has it he's scouring your city's streets at the moment."
You resist a frown. If this guy has been prowling your streets and you haven't noticed, something is definitely amiss. Might just be that you've been preoccupied with Keith and everything that happened around him, but if this has been going on for as long as Lotor is implying it has... this just might prove an actual challenge.
The old feeling of excitement and anticipation starts to run through your very bones again, and you hate the way it makes you feelā€“energised. As if you can handle anything thrown your way. Ready. It's a feeling you haven't known in years, and one you haven't missed, though now that it courses through your veins again there's no point in denying that you're enjoying it. The thrill of the chase.
But then Lotor speaks the name of the angel you're supposed to bring in, and everything falls into place, only to shatter into a million pieces a split second after.
You see his lips move. Hear the words spoken, though they take a moment to get processed, and when they do they leave behind an emptiness that has you stare at him, too dumbfounded and untrusting of yourself to speak.
It can't be. This must be the universe's idea of a cruel joke. The very guy you'd risked everything forā€“the very angel that had caused your distractedness and is the reason you were here in the first placeā€“is the same rogue angel about whom you had just signed a contract.
The crushing weight of it settles on your shoulders. All five days of you struggling to keep him breathing, for nothing. The weird excursion to Coran's shop, for nothing. The goddamn chinese takeout you'd bought for him, for fucking nothing.
But somehow you manage to keep your face straight, and Lotor hadn't been watching you as he said it, instead gazing intently at something over your head, so you can only hope he hasn't noticed the lurch in your expression at the mention of Keith Kogane.
"All right." You're almost shocked at how steady your voice is. "Okay. I've agreed. You got what you want. Now, free Allura." Even though your voice is pretty steady, you curl your hands into fists to hide their shaking.
Lotor doesn't move for a moment, and you seriously begin to think he's having a seizure until he snaps his fingers and Emmie lunges forward.
In her hand is a knife, and she plunges it into Allura's chest without a second of hesitation.
You rush toward the mirror, a strangled "No!" ripped from your throat. Your fingers claw at the smooth glass surface and you watch her slump, blood gushing from the wound and staining her scrubs a dark crimson. Your knees buckle, and your eyes stay glued to her form as she convulses, coughs up blood twice, then goes limp. Her head falls back...
And snaps back up, and you lurch back with a startled cry. Allura's eyes have gone red and are shining with mania. Her skin turns the colour of wet ash, and her hair falls out of its updo and cascades down her shoulders, tendrils black and writhing as if they have a mind of their own...
Demon.
Shapeshifter.
Your breathing comes in short and shallow rasps as the full realisation of things settles in. Allura was never in danger. You were right all along. If only you had put your foot down. If only you hadn't let your feelings cloud your mind.
It doesn't matter now. You signed a contractā€“and there's no going back from that.
Lotor fingers through the file that bears your signature in black ink. Slowly, the words explaining just what you signed start to appear on the sheets, snaking their way along the curves of the paper as if written in by an invisible hand. A steel fist clenches around your heart, and you struggle to stand up, your muscles turned to jelly. The surface of the mirror has gone black again.
A shaking hand comes up to cover your mouth, and your teeth clench down on your lower lip so hard that they draw blood. Lotor flicks his wrist, and the contract disappears. The fingers of your free hand twitch as if they wanted to grab at the file. You level your gaze with Lotor's, and evidently your years of training finally paid off in the end, because in his eyes you can see how passive your expression is. You'd be a good poker player, your fleeting mind thinks randomly. The only thing giving away your current emotions is the hand mindlessly tugging at your bottom lip, and the fact that your breathing is still rather fast.
"Now," Lotor drawls in his honey-coated voiceā€“sugary sweet, sticky, suffocatingā€“and snakes an arm around your shoulders, "that wasn't so hard, was it?"
And you know you should keep your mouth shut, because he is the Prince of the Below, and Haggar has already expressed her desire to string you up and set you on fire in the Grand Hall for every new recruit to seeā€“but on the other hand, you just signed a contract, and that makes you technically untouchable until Lotor has reason to believe you won't be able to complete the task set out for you.
The very foundation of a plan starts coming together in your mind. You jut up your chin and break free from his grasp. "So do I get assignment-issue gear? A blade? A gun, maybe? If this angel is as good as you make him out to be, perhaps I should need some more useful weapons than your average kitchen knife."
Lotor scrutinises you for a moment, then waves his hand. A set of gleaming double blades appear on Haggar's desk, along with their sheaths and long black gloves. Haggar huffs with an indignant mutter of Sure, use my desk as your summoning surface. Don't mind at all. You ignore her and lift an eyebrow. "That's all you're going to give me?"
"If you're as good as you say, this is all you will need," Lotor replies in that smooth tone of his. His eyes glint; he's gotten what he wanted. He's already won.
But that's fine. Lotor may have won this battle, and you need to make him feel like he has, but in the end you'll do everything in your power to win the war. And Lotor just handed you the weapons that just might be able to get you there.
"Fine," you mutter, snatching up the knives, pointedly refusing to strap them to your back like is procedure, instead securing the harnesses to your thighs as a small act of defiance. Irritation flashes in his eyes. "I'll report to you how often?"
"No reports," Lotor says with a wave of his hand. "We don't want to make any potential spies of the Above suspicious. Just make sure you find him, and when you do..." He tosses you a little disk about the size of a large coin, and you startle at how heavy it is. It's pleasantly warm to the touch, and you have a creeping suspicion as to what it is that is only confirmed with Lotor's next words. "Portal pass. Use it wisely."
You turn the pass over and over in your hands, the familiar weight of the knives at your thighs comforting and seeming to pull you down to the ground at the same time. "Is thatā€“will that be all?" Risky words, risky questionsā€“you're going out on a limb and assume Lotor won't have you hanged for running your mouth: he did just pretend to torture your best friend to coerce a signature out of you, so you suppose he has to give you some slack.
He sails to a halt in front of you, face so close his nose almost touches yours, and you have to stop yourself from recoiling. His expression is cold, his gaze calculatingā€“and the smile that creeps up his lips sends shivers up our spine. "Yes. I think that will be all." He raises a brow and throws a glance Haggar's way, which you find comical as he didn't seem to give a solid fuck about her opinions when he used her office as his personal torture chamber.
Haggar shrugs. "I still think we should string them up and burn them to a crisp."
"Yes, Haggar, I know. Why did I even bother." He gives you a lazy flick of his hand, but you've already turned and your hand is resting on the doorknob, when something occurs to you and you cast a look at him over your shoulder.
"My Prince?" The title feels like hot oil searing down your throat, but you expect the words you're about to say require this small bit of courtesy. He raises a brow and nods. "I'm going to kill the Bounties that brought me here." Your voice sounds oddly bored.
Lotor chuckles. "They're no demons. They don't have a place in the Below." It's like his gaze issues a challenge, and a fresh wave of loathing for this Prince washes over your being. "Go right ahead."
You flash a cold smile and slam the door shut.
ā€“ ā€“ ā€“
You wipe your blades with some wet wipes and discard them in the trashcan beside you when they get too filthy with blood (the store clerk barely looked up when you came in and purchased a single packet of wet wipes and a duffel bagā€“apparently the average cashier sees weirder stuff than a maniac with bloodied hunting knives the size of their forearms slamming a pack of wet wipes on the counter on a daily basis). Emmie, Adam, Zethrid and Nirina's bodies have long since turned to dust, and you have to work to keep your breathing steady and to stop your eyes from glowing red as the phone wedged between your ear and your shoulder rings.
Allura picks up on the fourth ring. "'Sup?"
It was just a check. Just to make sure. But if Allura truly did just get tortured, you have a feeling she wouldn't pick up a phone call with a simple 'Sup?
"Hey. How was your day?" Your speech comes out slightly slurred, and Allura laughs on the other side of the line.
"Fine. Work, you know. Routine." You can almost hear the grin on her face as she says, "And you? Weren't you supposed to be at work too, today?"
Work. Work feels like such a long time ago--when it was in reality only a couple of hours back. You nod slowly, though it's more to convince yourself than anything else. "Yeah. I was. Some co-workers and I went to get smoothies afterwards. To welcome me back," you joke.
"Did they pay?"
"Yeah."
"Good for you. Free milkshake. I'm jealous."
You laugh, but it feels hollow in your chest. "Hey--I need to run now, but I'll call you later, okay?"
"Yeah, sure. Sweet of you to check in, Y/N."
You eye the gleaming blade, running a finger along its razor-sharp edge. "No problem."
After you hang up, you sit back against the wall digging into your back, forcing down the pumping feeling in your limbs.
It's something you've missed, and you can't deny it. The absolute exhilaration you feel when your blades make contact, the thrumming of adrenaline in your veins as you dodge to avoid the blows that four individual enemies are throwing at you. The fear in Zethrid's eyes when she realises she is the only one left standing, and the life seeping from her eyes as you slit her throat.
It doesn't make you feel good, exactlyā€“especially now that the thrill of the moment has worn off and you just feel tired and there's an ache that has burrowed itself deep into your bonesā€“but there's no replicating the rush of power that courses through your very being when you're the one in control.
When the blades of death are yours to wield.
The knives are now securely stored in your new black duffel, and you try and figure out how you're going to pull off bringing two huge knives home without rousing suspicion from Keith. You internally debate whether you shouldn't just find a safe space to stash the duffel until you need it. There are quite a few nooks and crannies you know no one in their right mind would look, but then again, this was a big city. There were plenty of creepier people prawling these streets than the occasional demon.
And then you pass a gym, and an idea sparks in your head.
After casually shoplifting a bunch of sportswear from the nearest Nike store, you return to the gym with the knives in your bag hidden by the copious amounts of t-shirts and trainers stacked on top of them. You get a locker and stuff the bag inside before making your way outside again, smiling at the desk guy as you leisurely stroll out of the gym. The guy narrows his eyes at youā€“your clothes are still slightly torn and dirty, and you're pretty sure you have a bruise forming on the right side of your cheek, but you don't pay him any mind. He works at a gym. He's seen stranger than you.
But the closer you get to your apartment, the heavier the portal pass starts to feel in your pocket, and the more insecure your steps become. The sun hangs low over the city skyline, but hasn't completely started to set yet, and soft golden light washes over the streets, making them look... wrong. Bleak. Colour in a place where colour shouldn't be. You had just killed in these streets, and nobody noticed.
The thought makes you feel kind of sorry for the Bounties. They would be missed by no one.
You're still lost in thought when you almost hit a door and you snap back to reality. Your feet had carried you all the way up to your apartment. You blinked hard, rubbed a hand over your face and fumbled for your keys.
"Hey. It's me. Did you burn the house down while I was gone?"
Keith looks up from where he sits on an armchairā€“your armchair, but you understand he wouldn't want to spend another minute on the couch he spent five days on, hallucinating out of his mindā€“and grins, and your heart does a leap. And then he frowns, and you freeze, and your immediate thought is Oh fuck, he's found me out, he knows everything, he's going to call the other angels and he's going to kill meā€“
But the words he speaks are soft with concern. "What happened to your face?" And it takes all of your willpower not to break down right then and there.
He puts down the book he was reading and walks over to you, eyebrows knotted with worry, and reaches out to touch your forehead. Only then does he seem to realise how close to you he's standing, and he quickly pulls his fingers back to his chest. They're red with blood. "Let's get that disinfected, yeah?"
Before you can answer, he's already started towards your kitchen. You blink, still stunned, before following him like you're in a daze. He looks over his shoulder and points to a kitchen chair. You plop down, and it's when the weight is taken off your legs that the exhaustion comes crashing into you at breakneck speed, and it takes all your strength not to plunk your head down on the kitchen table and just pass out.
"Where do you keep your first aid kit?"
You vaguely point to a cabinet below the sink, and moments later Keith plops the kit down beside you on the table and plucks out a wad of cotton and disinfecting spray. You don't even feel it sting when he gently dabs at the cut on your forehead and cheekbone. His eyes are firmly trained on the cotton, his dark brows furrowedā€“there's a little crease between them that your foggy self finds most endearingā€“and he's chewing absent-mindedly on his bottom lip.
With a shock, you realise this is the closest you've been to him. Ever. This is the first time you can properly study his face, and you can always blame your muddy mind later if he brings up how blatantly you were staring at him, so you let yourself drink in every feature of his face. You find yourself drawn to his eyes most; they're a stunning deep violet, the colour of the sky at twilight, when the sun has just set and the last rays of light streak the heavens with purple. Most of all, they're soft with concern and simultaneously fierce with a kind of fire you haven't seen on him before.
"Aren't you going to ask what happened?" you blurt out before you can stop yourself.
Keith's eyes briefly flicker to yours, and he gives an awkward shrug before going back to gently rubbing at your wounds. "It's none of my business. You haven't asked me about what I was doing on Middle Ground in the first place, and I won't stick my nose into what doesn't concern me." But the words sound like he's reciting them; like a lesson he learned at school. You can see in his eyes that he is in fact curious, but also that he isn't going to press further. How very angelic of him.
You purse your lips, fingering the portal pass in your jacket pocket.
Your mind is a jumble of thoughts, like someone took all your emotions and threw them in a blender. Every moment you spend with Keith in your kitchenā€“how is it you always end up in the kitchen?ā€“you grow more sure that you can't turn him in. But the contract pulls at your insides, and you know that if you keep ignoring its contents it will keep gnawing at you until you can't take it anymore and snap.
The contract is the contract. Binding and eternal.
"Keith."
His hand freezes, and you carefully guide it to the table, gently forcing him to put down the cotton. "Thank you, really. But I'm okay. I promise."
He nods. Slowly. "Okay."
And oh, how you want to wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips against his, but that would make things a thousand times more complicated than they already areā€“
Your breath leaves you in one fell swoop. It's the exhaustion talking, you firmly tell yourself, before you yank your fingers back and stand. You're a bit wobbly, but you manage. Keith wisely doesn't attempt to help you, but you can feel his eyes boring into your back as you make your way to your bedroom.
You change. You brush your teeth. You splash some water in your face to clear your head. Everything happens in a haze, your mind too tired to think about anything at all.
But then your eye falls on a piece of paper resting on your pillow. You frown and pick it up, and your eyes widen when you recognise your own scraggly handwriting littering the little parchment card. A hand flies up to your mouth to muffle your startled scream, and you drop the card as if it just burned your fingertips, though your eyes stay glued to its surface.
The words I want Keith to be okay stare back up at you, and with every passing second your breathing gets quicker and more ragged. Your fingers tingle, and as you draw a tentative breath you sink down onto the mattress. Your fingers tingle, but they tingle with warmth, and the feeling is not unpleasant.
Where Keith's own skin brushed yours, the chill that had seeped into your very core and had burrowed there for days, leaving you in a constant state of stiff cold, dissipated. The feeling is so weirdly foreign after having only felt cold for days that you dumbly stare out into nothingness, trying to shake the heat out of your hand. It doesn't work. It feels good, and you want more of it.
For a moment, the contract leaves your mind, replaced by Keith's eyes, the way he'd looked up at you, all softness and worry; the gentleness of his fingers as they cleaned the shallow cuts on your face. You close your eyes and lean back, the little parchment card on the floor seeming to beg for your attention. You never knew paper could be this loud.
For just a moment, you allow yourself to think of Keith and not just see an angelā€“but something more.
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c0untb00z Ā· 5 years ago
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I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.
Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.
First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.
However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.
So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.
I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.
To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.
However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.
Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.
The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.
Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.
Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america
Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.
Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:
Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.
Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM
And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING
anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life
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spocks-smokey-eye Ā· 5 years ago
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im rewatching aos&tos and rn on star trek beyond
BOY
i forgot how s t r e s s f u l the opening is
and! they do my gal the enterprise so dirty
1. she gets stabbed by multiple alien ships
ii. gets DECAPITATED
c. crash-yeeted onto the surface of a planet
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hwangskz Ā· 5 years ago
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midnight memories | midnight adventures w/ (han) jisung
yes i kNOW this is short but sjsshssb i wrote something at least !! also also.. i actually like this?? this is FIRST TIME WOW
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ā€¢ this boy.. oh BOY he WILDT
ā€¢ no but like legit
ā€¢ it's daytime? wilding . nighttime? wilding.
ā€¢ "jisung just change ur name to 'wildt squirrel'"
ā€¢ "DJDDJDDJDDJJSJS LOL WHAT"
ā€¢ it's not only during the day that yall manage to do stupid shit, but congrats! during night, it's even wilder!!! *insert the star eye emoji*
ā€¢ like sleep? WHO
ā€¢ it probably started that one night when yall started getting closer and before the night of the first final exam
ā€¢ jisung, almost stress - crying : Y/N HELP
ā€¢ y/n : the FUCK DID U DO U DUMMY
ā€¢ jisung : :(( im scared :(( for the finals :((
ā€¢ y/n : meet me at the front of ur gate in 15 mins
ā€¢ and jisung just "?????" because WHAT WERE U EVEN TRYING TO DO-
ā€¢ "COME ON BITCH WE GOING ON AN ADVENTUREEEE"
ā€¢ "YEEHAW" - jisung, as his frown is replaced with a huge ass grin as he jumps onto his motorcycle
ā€¢ about the motorcycle... he can ride it.. but when u drive u just look so cool (āŒā– _ā– ) and also because hes just LAZY JSHSGSVSJBS
ā€¢ (but also because he loves having his arms around ur waist (ā—Ā“Ļ‰ļ½€ā—))
ā€¢ since then, this midnight adventures thing has been a RITUAL IN THIS RELATIONSHIP
ā€¢ if it gets a bit late, yall just stay at either of yalls home together, but mostly urs because, apparently "ur bed is so much comfier :((" according to jisung
ā€¢ and who are U to stop this cute lil baby
ā€¢ oh rite
ā€¢ u ARE his partner
ā€¢ "jisung u always take like.. 90% of the bed to urself"
ā€¢ "ok ok ill cuddle u"
ā€¢ cuddling? lmao now THATS the real ritual here
ā€¢ mostly yall would have late night supermarket raids, especially at that one supermarket near yalls houses WHICH stocks ramens the quickest
ā€¢ "doing the job of a god i see" - jisung probably
ā€¢ and can i just sAY that yall are real monsters man
ā€¢ 20 packets of fire noodles? GONE IN 20 MINUTES
ā€¢ but the owner of the store, who's an old lady, never says anything and just loves to see yall bicker at stuff and then laugh to the point where one of u choke on ur noodles
ā€¢ "young love :')" - she says
ā€¢but when yall aren't in the mood to really get ramen or if one u are feeling just vvvv down, yall will just buy like 4 or 5 tubs of ice cream and then go to the park and ride the swings as yall talk shit abt the person who made one of yall sad
ā€¢ "and then the teacher just put a question mark on my answer like???? i dont know the answer either karen"
ā€¢ even when yall confessed :')
ā€¢ "so i have this person i like.." - jisung, as he starts taking small bites from the already taken huge scoop of ice cream from his spoom
ā€¢ and u ?? CHOKE
ā€¢ u have two (2) thoughts in ur mind:
ā€¢ one : W H O W H O W H O W H O W H O W H O W H O W H O W H O!!!!!
ā€¢ two : oh :( that's alright :( my heart's totally not breaking :( haha :(
ā€¢ "who?"
ā€¢ "you."
ā€¢ this BINCH SKSSHWWBBS
ā€¢ and ur breath is just?? stuck in ur throat?? like?? h e l l o???
ā€¢ "oh."
ā€¢ and there's just this BIG FAT silence between yall after that awkward reply because what the FUCK Y/N UR BETTER THAN THIS!!!
ā€¢ "i really hope this doesn't ruin our rituals.. lmao.." - jisung, as he nervously plays with his fingers
ā€¢ "did- did u just say lmao out loud???????? i- cant believe i like THIS LOSER HUH"
ā€¢ and jisungs head just JSHSHSHSH SHOTS UP AT U
ā€¢ "okay ONE. IM NO LOSER. AND TWO. DID U JUST SAY U LIKE ME???? BACK????"
ā€¢ "OBVIOUSLY I LIKE U!! I CANT JUST DUMP UR STUPID LIL ASS RIGHT HERE ON THE STREETS AND YEET MYSELF AWAY PFT"
ā€¢ "dont pFT ME"
ā€¢ "P F T"
ā€¢ really the most cute but stupid couple ever on the streets huh
ā€¢ "i love u, bITCHHH" - jisung, as he pretends to strum a floating guitar
ā€¢ "im never gonna stop lovin u, BITCHHH" - both of u, as yall end it with pretending to strum a floating guitar
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cleaduvalls Ā· 5 years ago
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i watchedĀ ā€œspy kids 4ā€³ exactly twice and i plan to keep it that way. here are my thoughts
i had the volume up from the last one because it was SO QUIET and now my ears hurt. not a great start
i used to think that was carmen and i was so disappointed because i wanted to see carmens kids šŸ˜”
tik tok????? oh no
i thought tick tock was matthew lillard for most of the movie
you cant do that in the SIMS
why are you shifitng gears. you dont need to shift gears
shut up wilbur have YOU given birth?????
YOU GO IN AT EVERY FIVE TO SEVEN MINUTES AND YOURE AT THREE ARE YOU S T U P I D
wait it sounds like ive given birth i havent i assure you
a pregnant belly wouldnt make that sound
yeah alright whatever shaggy youre high
isnt she from girl meets world??????
itd make a better sitcom honestly
hahah funney because shes a spy
WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THERE WITH YOUR W I F E
birth is NOT that short
i would be great at cinemasins
oh!!!! disabled character!!!!
who approved this show
oh like its HER fault
youre watching the clock speed up why are you not suspicious
roll credits
argonaut. my english teacher would like that
its 5 o clock somewhere
have you not been watching the show??????
there is a serious lack of floop
i feel like ive seen the boy before too
guess not
also i guess this one had a smell feature?????? ig thats why the baby farts so much
AND IT EXPLAINS THE DRESSING!!!! YOU CAN SMELL DRESSING!!!!!
dont say stepmother its creepy
ooh tinker toys!!!! real ones this time!!!!
girl its dyed blue youre gonna stain your carpet
oh God she wants to be FRIENDS
epic????? No
these pranks can all be used for smellovision
aromascope ig??????
BEING FRIENDS!!!! THATS SOME FANFIC LEVEL TROPEYNESS
oops
the CHEETOS
because you pulled the prank?????
power move
those are really your worst fears?????
i have almost that exact clock
youre looking for SPIES not VILLIANS
i kinda want a clock hand sword
MARISSA NO IM DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT
cecils so chill
it looks like the slime from floops castle..... i miss floop
felix has been replaced??? by a computer voice????
oh mood
hahah carmen said that
is that ricky gervais
oh!!!! they broke gender binary!!!!!! took the other chair!!!!!
worlds smallest camera!!!!!!
yeah hes right theres no invisibility powder
ew
its not a SPACESHIP theyre not IN SPACE
hey can we maybe not put that in a movie thanks
yeah i hate this one
that fall was awful
C A R M E N!!!!!!!!!!!
wilbur youre so boring
spy week???? dont you mean shark week?????
buddypack!!!!
IS THAT THE PICTURE FROM WHERE THEY ENTERED FLOOPS CASTLE AND THEN JUNI SAW A THUMB THUMB
i watch these movies too much
except this one this one sucks
7 years ago????? when game over came out????? nice
THE BRAIN THING THAT MADE FOOGLIES!!!
SPY PLANE!!!
SEA GUPPY!!!!
CARMENS GAME SUIT!!!!
why does she still have that
HOW does she still have that
MACHETES ELECTROSHOCK GUMBALLS!!!!!!
DRAGON SPY!!!!
take that giggleses
JUNI!!!! only video tho ://
oof
WAIT I JUST SAW ARGONAUTS NAME TAG AND MY DOG HAD THAT SAME ONE BUT IN PINK AND WE HAD TO GET HER A NEW ONE BECAUSE IT WAS S OĀ  L O U D
your baby is your back up????? Bad Idea
did you not name your child????
why did they pause for a label????
stop making time puns i hate you
i really hope those are floops. like the cereal
stop calling her stepmother like its her name its CREEPY
stop WASTING them
just say youre marissas kids?????? they know who she is
oh God piss joke
oh God POOP joke
right its the bombs that make him cool not the fact that hes literally ricky gervais
and a fart joke????? i hate this movie
silent but LETHAL???? awfyl. i hate it
toot??? stop making fart jokes
OH THEYRE GETTING CHASED CUZ THE SAPPHIRE i need to pay attention more. i blame buzzfeed
ā€œyou weirdo you vaporized usā€ STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO LIKE THIS MOVIE BY PLAYING ON MY NOSTALGIA
its not working btw. i hate this movie
oh look. a butt joke.
oh yay disney acid trip
uh yeah???? hes ricky gervais
yeah except shes WHITE
i kinda wanna go to the cheese shop. wisconsin instincts ig
thats not a WORD
no the red ones the second hand do you know anything?????
how does she know how to army crawl???? shes EIGHT
there are 42 minutes left im suffering
oh no he died
is she wearing twinkle toes??????
did they.... teleport???? was that an awkward cut???? did they straight up travel through time????? im so confused
yknow as an OBVIOUS choice for the next doctor, floop should REALLY be in the movie centered around time
im gonna punch this dude
IM GONNA PUNCH THIS DUDE TOO YOU CAN STILL BE A FAMILY AND CALL YOURSELF STEPKIDS
hes the hulk
oh dear he referenced a meme
he just called the google lady annoying im gonna punch him next
n i c e
SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS!!!!!!
yeah theyre gonna flip youre STALKING THEM
that seems like a Bad Idea
try harder rebecca
IF YOURE GONNA TAKE THEM THERE W H A T DO YOU THINK THEYRE GONNA DO???????
dude you look like youre on crack
youre gonna divorce her because she wasnt allowed to tell you?????????
W H A T
no???? ofc not???? you have no weapons??????
DUDE CHILL SHE L I T E R A L L Y COULDNT TELL YOU
and i feel fine~
J U N I!!!!!!!!!!! FOR REALS!!!!!!!!
oh shiitake mushrooms he got kinda cute
you can???? reach into the garbage can???????
BECAUSE YOURE CHILDREN!!!!!! THEY SHUT DOWN THE SPY KIDS PROGRAM!!!!!!
i love the sound of clockwork. so soothing. that doctor who episode with the time robots???? a fave
oh no they all have died
M A C H E T E!!!!!!!!
why did juni freeze if he didnt really freeze???? thats some buzz lightyear level stuff
oh hey i just realized that junis hair is back!!
oh no now argos the hulk too
the baby looks like dora
hahah funney
HE WAS TOAST IN THE FIRST MOVIE S T O PĀ  P L A Y I N GĀ  O NĀ  N O S T A L G I A
and diaper lady???? Stop
nice censorship
can hearing aids work that well???? im no expert but i dont think they can do that?????
taking his hearing aids???? i hate this guy
R A L P H!!!!
oh!!!!!! sign language!!!!!
Even Evil Has Standards
are they trying to make me cry?? im not
you can travel through time youre just not COOL ENOUGH
oh worm????
side note i figured they were the same guy but i was so disappointed when it wasnt matthew lillard
please let this be over i need to mindlessly scroll the spy kids wiki
stop being philosophical youre wearing twinkle toes
roll credits
us???? wouldnt that be me???? or is us right??? clones are wack
yEET
oh no he died
why did he float???? did they run out of gravity?????
he moved before he touched the watch
yeah but hell see his dad again and thats the point of this whole thing????
oh no he died. for reals this time
this time???? you have 6 months
STOPšŸ‘MAKINGšŸ‘TIMEšŸ‘PUNSšŸ‘
i cant raise my eyebrowšŸ˜”
YOU CANT DO THAT WE JUST DISCUSSED IT
thats hot
WHY DOES SHE NOT HAVE A NAME
yes bc youre a robot shut up
oh thank God its over
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we-always-hit-our-ass Ā· 4 years ago
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First Date HCs With David Webster
warnings: meh some cursing but nothing major, itā€™s also very long Iā€™m sorry- but the rest is just fluff, so eeee I hope you all like them! <333
words: 1.6k (ajsajhk i got carried away on these headcanons, i couldnā€™t help myself)
Taglist:Ā @deldontplay, @thatsonefishyboi,@noneofurbusinez, @meteora-fc, @gutsandgloryhereā€‹,Ā @hihosilvers, @rayleighshughes, @floydtab, @wexhappyxfew, @sherlollydramoine, @meganthesunflower, @3milesupā€‹, @jamie506101ā€‹, @sunflowerchuckā€‹, @softliebā€‹, @k-webstersā€‹, @punkgeekchicā€‹, @speirs-crazy-assā€‹, @hellitwasyoufirstsergeantā€‹, @stressedinadressā€‹
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First Date Headcanons with David Webster
So you see, of course our favorite Harvard boy will take you to the fucking aquarium (Cliche and obvious? Yes. But like where else, I mean seriously??)
When you first got together the first thing he promised you was an aquarium date, and well looky here, he fulfilled that promise.
Ok, so yā€™all pull up to the building and you can see waves of literal euphoria coming out of him.Ā Heā€™s just so adorable and he has a little bit of pep in his step when walking towards the entrance.Ā 
And then every time he walks, his poofy brown hair bounces up and down and the way the suns hits it is *chefs kiss*-
Even before you get to the entrance, your boyfriend is gushing about marine animals. They were short descriptions of a multitude of animals but they were so detailed and captivating, you couldnā€™t help but listen.
However, his voice was a bit distracting at times and you could find yourself zoning out while he talked.Ā 
A look of awe is plastered on your hand and your hold on his hand tightens ever so slightly.
Itā€™s safe to say that you learned more about ocean animals in those brief moments than you ever could from your years in school.
Yā€™all bust in the aquarium like the iconic couple you two are (Iā€™m so proud of you) and boy oh boy is David cute as hell.
Here he is--Ā a grown ass man who went to Harvard and literally served in WW2-- looking like a child discovering a shiny rock. You love it-
David is indecisive as hell and he had no idea where to go. He turns over to look at you with those beautiful eyes of his and you canā€™t help but smile.
You two pull up those maps of the building and you two plan out the rest of your date. Your fingersĀ trail over the paper, trying to figure out where to go first.
You two make up this intricate schedule and you knowingly look at each other when your eyes find where the shark exhibit was.
But at the beginning of your date Web held your hand as you two viewed various wildlife vibin in the water behind the glass.
You were in heaven when you saw how the water played so beautifully on the your boyfriendā€™s face.Ā 
David was oblivious to how you stared at him in awe and you were oblivious to whenever he did the same to you.
You named a crab after Johnny and a particularly cute clownfish was named after Babe. You two had a heated discussion on who Winters was.Ā 
(Yā€™all never settled on anything. Web thought heā€™d be a red snapper. You personally think heā€™d either be a blue marlin or a swordfish.)
He called you his angelfish and you hit him on the arm for being so cheesy. After that he said that you were a flame angelfish instead and you could only playfully roll your eyes at him.
Get prepared for literally a shit ton of fish trivia this boy will never shut up and he just wants to gush about it to you, itā€™s very wholesome and sweet actually.
He knows a lot because he either hasĀ a whole 100000 page book about the sea printed on his brain or something or because he has the literal ocean in his eyes.
Look I canā€™t tell at this point-
The two of you were going to every single exhibit this aquarium had to offer and there was no stopping you.
Sadly that intricate schedule is unceremoniously yeeted out the window because when you head over to the next place you're stopping at you two see something else you like and head there instead.
ā€œ(Y/N)! I thought we were seeing the penguins next-ā€
ā€œBut Web, the seals! Look at the seal exhibit!ā€
Youā€™re gripping his arm and looking at him with your stunning face, how could he say no to you?Ā 
So he lets an exaggerated sigh and nods his head as he tries to contain his grin.
You two went over to the seal exhibit instead kasjhd- Yā€™all still got to see the penguins, itā€™s all ight.
While gawking at the beautiful fish species you saw, Web seemed to know a heaping mount about a lotta of em. The facts he didnā€™t tell you earlier he says now and youā€™re just likeĀ ā€œlook at my smart Harvard boy go-ā€
The amount of times you wanted to just make a scrapbook that is dedicated to this day alone is nearly impossible to keep track of. The both of you wanted to cherish this aquarium date for all eternity.
Cause literally thereā€™s this one moment where youā€™re looking over at tropical fish and Web was reading the description. Oh what would happen next-
As youā€™re admiring the way the small fishes swam gracefully Web legit goes on a rant on how they got some information on the Tiger Barb wrong.
This adorable idiot I- I canā€™t even at this point.
But Web holds you in his arms as he buries his face in your hair while looking at fish send tweet.Ā 
He also wraps his arms around your waist and he rests his head on top of yours. He makes comments about some of the fish and you just sink into his embrace.
Also one thing you did keep from your schedule after not following it was visiting the petting pool after you two ate lunch.
When I say that you two nyoomed over to the petting pool area I mean yā€™all nyoomed-- Like full Speirs mode on-- because Jesus Christ this is an aquarium and David will obviously take you to the petting pool.
You two arrived there and my Lord you swore that David was holding back a squeal. The two of you immediately rolled up your sleeves and went over to dip your hands to touch the animals in the pool.
The look you gave Web when you touched a cownose ray-- it was precious.Ā 
You also couldnā€™t hold your excitement as a few more smaller rays glided under the pads of your fingertips.
Then there were the horseshoe crabs and yknow those tiny fish that like swarm your hand and tickle you, yeah those too.
Yā€™all also chill it out and get to wash the jellyfish. The way the room was dark gave it a whole nother vibe, my loves.Ā 
Like inĀ  that jellyfish room, you two will most definitely just hold each other while gazing at the glass.
Bro, in the dim room, heā€™ll just pull you close and place a chaste kiss on your forehead and lips.
The bioluminescence of the jellyfish illuminates Websterā€™s face, making his features appear more sharp. Simping time commence, you two are a fine af couple.
Now time for the real kicker- Itā€™s shark time
After dragging your ass to almost all of the other exhibits in the aquarium, Webster saved the shark exhibits near the end of the date.
Ohoho, was this boy eUPHORIC-
David is gripping your hand tightly and heā€™s constantly sending you smiles as you two walk closer to the entrance of the shark exhibit.
This is where Webster ascends out of his body, this is the second time he has (first time was when he met you and started dating).Ā 
You share his happiness and the utter vibes comin off from your boyfriend makes you so soft and full of glee.
Yknow his constant face when his eyes are focused on something and his mouth is just slightly parted? Well that is his face most of the time during your time there.
M o r eĀ  Ā f a c t s.
Webster did write a wholeass book about them, what did you expect?
The utter passion and fascination in his voice really stands out whenever he talks about these beautiful babies-Ā 
Like sure, David sounds happy when he talks about other sea animals, but with sharks? Whole nother level.Ā 
Itā€™s one of his biggest quirks and my goodness do you just stand there taking in all his facts as he goes on a tangent about different types of shark species.
The light in his eyes as they trail over as they trail over a sand shark swimming by. Heā€™ll also just stare at a leopard shark while smiling because he loves them.
After leaving the shark exhibit after spending 1 hour in there with your boyfriend, you two decide to go home- But first, yā€™all buying some things from the giftshop.Ā 
Webster will spoil you and will buy you anything you want in the aquarium gift shop.
Wallets beware, youā€™d also do the same for him.
There was this jellyfish theme hat you saw and you made David try it on- He looked so fucking stupid but like a cute kinda stupid.
You regret not buying it when you had the chance-
However- You two got shark plushies together. You got a tiger shark plushy and he gots a hammerhead.Ā 
You two absolutely love them and you couldā€™ve sworn you couldā€™ve just burst from happiness when he showed you the tiger shark plush he got for you.
You two also bought those chonky seal plushies because I mean... I mEAN- Just look at em, theyā€™re stunning of course you and Web had to get em.
With a day well spent with your boyfriend you just wanted nothing more but to lay with David on your bed as you run your fingers through your hair.
So you two leave the aquarium building smiling and laughing. Webster leans in a gives you another soft kiss on your lips and you let out a giggle.Ā 
The two of you are noticeably happier, and you two head back to the car. The date ends with your hand in his and your four new plushies in tow.
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a/n: itā€™s been so long since I posted a fic or writing of any kind. unfortunately, iā€™ll have to put a hold on my pt 2 for the roe fic i made and im procrastinating by writing hcs kasjadjk. i decided to make these for some of the lovely people in my discord server. i hope yā€™all enjoyed these hcs with web!
i love you all very much, stay safe and i send yall another round of my good vibes šŸ˜©šŸ’•šŸ’•
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thebabemobile Ā· 6 years ago
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JUST FINISHED #TheDreamDoor AND HOOOOOO BOY HOWDY AM I REVVED UP ABOUT THIS DAMN SHOW. AND THERES SPOILERS SO DONā€™T LIKE YEET ON OVER TO MY OPIniONS BEFORE YOU WATCH IT AND BELIEVE ME YOUā€™RE GONNA WANNA WATCH IT. sO first off--
-pretzel jack did absolutely nothing wrong
-CRIED WHEN THE SMOL LITTLE BURRITO BABY CAME AND CRIED WHEN IT DIED
-i was kind of sad that they didnā€™t do as much with the crayons as they could have but that heavy makeup and prosthetics were probably hella hard to handle anyway so im glad they got to kill at least one guy (who they completely forgot about ;-;)
-im also really disappointed with the ending. i kind of knew the door gene thingy majig would be passed down to Jillā€™s lil bear but after the war they just... gO HOME AND ON WITH THEIR LIVES WITH A WHOLE ASS BABY? ISNā€™T JILLIAN SCARRED FOR LIFE? OR TOM AT LEAST? LIKE WHERE WAS THE RECOVERY? THE HARDSHIPS OF GETTING BACK ON THEIR FEET? THEIR BABYā€™S BIRTH? AND SPEAKING OF THEIR BABY, DID JILLIAN JUST GET OVER THE FACT THAT BURRITO JR DIED IN HER ARMS AND WAS JUST READY TO HAVE ANOTHER KID? HOW MUCH TIME PASSED? WTF HAPPENED TO THAT OFFICER WHO TLAL BOY M U R D E R ED?? WTF HAPPENED TO PJ? DID JILLIAN EVER EVEN ATTEMPT TO BRING HIM BACK? DID HER DAD EVER ACTUALLY HAVE ANYTHING IMPORTANT TO SAY TO HER? DID SHE EVER FIND IT OUT AFTER IAN DIED? HOW POWERFUL IS THE BABY THAT SHE COULD HAVE BROUGHT A FRIEND INTO THE WORLD WITHOUT EVEN THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE? WHAT WOULD A BABYā€™S PROTECTOR LOOK LIKE??
-i looOOoOoOoOoOOOOOve the ideas and twistS and turns in this showā€™s timeline. i was genuinely surprised at certain parts and not in a bad way!! loved the creative deaths too that was always fun to see
-pretzel jack should have killed ian. i wAS HELLA PISSED that tall boy just fuking executed him before he could do anything like wHAT? THATS IT? NOĀ ā€˜GET BACK UP?ā€™ NO ATTEMPT TO HEAL HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE WHICH JILLIAN EASILY COULD HAVE DONE IS TOM HAD COME OUT AND PULLED WHAT HE PULLEDĀ  A F T E R PJ WAS GONE??Ā Ā 
-i demand that syfy sends me my own packaged and smiling pj in the mail to atone for its crimes of making me sob at two in the morning.Ā 
-tall boy and ianā€™s little moment before ian died actually reminded me that they were childhood best friends and tall boy of all people had failed to be his protector in the end. i admit i teared up.... but not too much.
-fuck ian with your kombucha and cats i thought you were bae turns out ur just garbage. i spit in your general direction
-I WOULD DIE FOR JILLIAN. CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB OVER HER COMPASSIONATE, LOVING, IMPORTANT, ANXIOUS, JEALOUS, PERFECT ASS JKDJKSDFJKFSJKSFJKFSJK
-iā€™ve loved the eldritch-horrifying-sweetheart-protector-of-little-kids dynamic for idk how long and this show literally achieved everything i was looking for in a tv show excluding the ending.Ā 
anyway thank you and goodnight im gonna go and cry im in love with this show go watch it peace out
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personagf-moved Ā· 6 years ago
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alphabet & soft questions āœØ
I was tagged by my bbā€™sĀ @prksjmiinĀ (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didnā€™t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :ā€™) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf
iā€™ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi šŸ’˜
honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily
Alphabet ask:
a // age:Ā 21
b // birthplace:Ā new jersey!
c // current time: 1:17 am
d // drink you had last: coffee
e // easiest person to talk to:Ā my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool
f // favorite songs:Ā 
aint it fun - paramore
trivia loveĀ 
honey - kehlani
abbey - mitski
moonlight - ariana grande
g // grossest memory:Ā i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a weekĀ 
h // horror yes or horror no:Ā  H O R R O RĀ  Ā Y E SĀ  Ā B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person iā€™ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc.Ā 
i // in love:Ā with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man
j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess
k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bbā€™s :ā€™)
l // love at first sight or should i walk by again:Ā we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that.Ā 
m // middle name:Ā padilla
n // number of siblings:Ā 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)
o // one wish:Ā to find true love
p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol
q // question youā€™re always asked: ā€œwhy are you like thisā€ (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday),Ā ā€œare you mad?ā€,Ā ā€œhow old are you REALLY?ā€,Ā ā€œhowā€™s your brother?ā€ (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)
r // random fact about you:Ā i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf
s // song you last sang: ā€œabbeyā€ by mitski :ā€™(
t // time you woke up:Ā exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lolĀ 
u // underwear colour: she be blackĀ 
v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :ā€™) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/
w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta peopleā€™s lives when i think theyā€™re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone iā€™ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone whoā€™s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and iā€™m trying to fix itĀ 
x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o
y // your favorite food: my momā€™s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby
z // zodiac sign: weā€™re a proud libra sunĀ 
Soft ask:
Whatā€™s the smell of your shampoo?
we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes
Whatā€™s your aesthetic?
the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwuĀ 
Whatā€™s your favorite time of the day and why?
lately itā€™s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho.Ā 
What do you most like about the beach?
not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!
What do you worry about constantly?
when iā€™m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now iā€™m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. iā€™m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, weā€™ll figure it out!
What is a song youā€™ve cried to before?
oh boy...
trivia love
moonchild
first love
she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack
20 something - sza
26 - paramore
the letter - kehlani
landslide - fleetwood mac
when you see my friends - mayday parade
and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart
What are some relaxing tips for your followers?
as The Worldā€™s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Beingā„¢ļø i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAOĀ 
but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves iā€™m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (theyā€™re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)
Ā What are some things that make you tear up?
the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world iā€™ll have to bring my future children into and how iā€™m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy
What is your favorite from each sense?
sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a personā€™s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh
smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn
taste - my momā€™s cooking, good coffee on an early morning
sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise
touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a catā€™s tummy, a babyā€™s cheeks, fingers running through my hair
What is an alternative reality youā€™d like to live in?
one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should
jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am
What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?
for starters im ugly as shit so theres one
if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending overĀ 
but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out
What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?
unfortunately i havenā€™t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnickā€™s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back.Ā  also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know peopleā€™s last words, realized that he would never know alaskaā€™s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh audenā€™s poetry and to this day heā€™s still one of my favorite poets of all time.Ā Ā 
Say something to your followers:
thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and iā€™d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!
11 notes Ā· View notes
askthetotallynotsquad Ā· 6 years ago
Note
*sneezes on michael* pls become more sick and die rn
ACT 1
Jeremy: *sobs* NO STOP
Rich: I fEeL iRrEllIveNt iLl jUsT LeAVe *puts gun up to head*
Jeremy: RICH NONONONO *hugs him*
Rich: wth mAn iM trYinG ro leT u aNh mIcheal bE alOne *still has gun up to head*
Jeremy: Rich please stop. I love youuuuuu- PLATONICALLY
Rich: wEll tO bAD *moves gun to stomach and pulls trigger*
Jeremy: Rich-
Rich: sh-shit that w-was a bad idea wasnā€™t it..*starts bleeding* f-fuck
Michael: omg rich!!! *speed dials 911*
Rich: hah.. *coughs up blood* t-thit
Michael: rICH YOU GOTTA BREATHE PLEASE
Rich: *coughs more* o-ok god wellā€¦ nice kn-nowin yaā€¦. *tries to breathe*
Michael: uM THINK ABOUT JAKE??
Rich: h-heh *smiles a bit and coughs more*
Jake: oMG RICH??? *sobs* DUDE BRO??
Rich: *hugs* i-its okā€¦ *dies some more* ou-uchā€¦
Jake: omg omg omg ok bro dude youā€™ll be fine right?? itā€™s like the fire??? youā€™ll be fine???
Rich: y-yeahā€¦. *passes out from so much blood loss*
Hospital people: OMG!! QUICK GET HIM IN THE VEHICLE FOR THE HEALTH!!
Heath vehicle people: *throws rich in the heath vehicle*
Jake: *intense sobbing*
Rich: *passes out still*
Heath vehicle people: *gets in front of health vehicle about to drive*
Jake: *stops the health vehicle* let me go with my bf pls
Heath vehicle people: sure why not kid donā€™t kill him though or else we will lose some money
Jake: *cartwheels into the heath vehicle with rich* babe omg awaken pls
Rich: *tumbles on over to Jake and hugs him still passed out*
Jake: omg rich ily bab *kiss*
All the healthy bros working at that heath place: *fixes rich*
(1 hour later)
Rich: *wakes up*
Jake: *hugs rich* omg babe you almost died I missed you
Rich: *hugs tighter* i-im ok *smiles*
Jake: *all the kisses* please donā€™t do that again rich
Rich: I wonā€™t d-donā€™t worry *still shaking a bit*
Jake: *breaks the health place rules and lays next to rich bc he needs all the hugs*
Rich: *hugs* your great
Jake: *kisses our favorite short boy on the nose* so are you
Rich: *cuddles*
Jake: *gently cuddles and whispers v nice things to rich*
Rich: *falls asleep cuddling jake*
Nice classic time skip
Jake: *carries rich to Richā€™s house*
Richā€™s mom: WHATā€™S THIS RICH
Rich: *wakes up* NOTHING MOM
Richā€™s dad: I THOUGHT U WERE TO MUCH OF A LOSER TO HAVE FRIENDS
Rich: *sobs a bit* y-yes dad I am..
Jake: rich itā€™s okayā€” *plays with Richā€™s hair bc our boy* itā€™ll be okay
Richā€™s mom: EXCUSE ME CHILD BUT WHY ARE YOU HARASSING MY SERVANT
Rich: *sobs*
Richā€™s dad: QUIT CRYING YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Rich: *holds back tears* yes dad
Richā€™s dad: CALL ME SIR
Rich: yes sirā€¦
Jake: *angry Jake pulls a jake* eXCUSE ME SHITHEADS BUT WHY ARE YOU HARRASSING MY BOYFRIEND BC IF YOU DO I WILL SLAP A BITCH OR TWO
ACT 2
Rich: *clings onto jake*
Richā€™s dad: SERVANT WHAT IS THIS PEASANT TALKING ABOUT
Richā€™s mom: ARE YOU GAY!!!! *pulls out shotgun about to shoot jake*
Rich: *v v v scared* ā€”- MOM NO
Richā€™s mom: WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU BITCH
Rich: b-because I love him!!!!
Jake: *shields rich bc oh no*
Richā€™s mom: *boom boom tries to shoot rich but oh damn she shoots jake*
Richā€™s dad: good job wife you killed it
Richā€™s mom: yeah
Jake: *passed out oops*
Rich: WHAT THE FUCK MOM *starts sobbing* YOU ARE ALL FUCKING BATHSTARDS AND IF I COULD YOU WOULD BE DEAD BY NOW *v sob* stay with me Jakeā€¦ itā€™s okā€¦.
Richā€™s mom: FUCK U *trys to shoot rich but has no bullets* SHIT
Richā€™s dad: LETā€™S GET OUT BEFORE THE COPS COME!!
(Richā€™s parents run away)
Rich: s-stay with meā€¦ *calls 911*
Jake: *jake wakes up a little* Iā€™m f-fineā€” rich Iā€™ll be fineā€” *passes out again*
Rich: *screams to 911* GOD FUCKING DAMNIT HELP ME *starts sobbing over jake*
(Health vehicle people arrive)
Heath vehicle people: ugh u agian. Get him in the heath vehicle u are not coming
Rich: *slowly pulls out gun* do You wanna be the next one in the health vehicle?
Health vehicle people: OK YOU CAN COME JEEZā€¦
Healthy health people: *fix jake*
29 hours later
Jake: *jake awake* rich-?
Rich: *jumps-ish onto jake* I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD *happy sobs*
Jake: oW- *hugs rich weakly sksksk* I told you Iā€™d be okayā€” *haha weak laugh*
Rich: *hugs tightly telling Jake jokes*
Jake: youā€™re so small and perfectā€¦ *boops Richard Goranski Bc thatā€™s the tea*
Rich: *crosses eyes for a moment and blushes* your perfect too
Jake: I wanna sleepā€”- *woah Jake falls asleep*
Wreck it Ralph thanos hobo guy: *fortnite dances in* hey kids want a beverage *gives rich a ā€œperfectly normalā€ drink* Iā€™m a healthy health bro so you can trust me ok bye
Rich: ooooo drinks *drinks the drink* wait. This is.
Wreck it Ralph thanos hobo guy: MTN DEW >:)
ACT 3
Rich: *starts screaming and rolling around on the ground and overall dying*
Jake: *screams and wakes up to his bf having a seizure omg* rich?? babe??? bro??? are you okay??? *panic panic panic*
Rich: AWUHHDHXNHRNCJDBJSNWKDNEONCIENXLWNDOCNEKCNIENCJDBDJSMLAHHBSHHhHHhHHHhhhhh *rolls around holding head* H-HELP JAKE HELPā€¦!.! A..A.AJHhh d9g xhdhxudnkshJHHJDHDBIDNRIEW
Jake: rich- Richard whatā€™s wrong?? Tell me please- talk to meā€” whatā€™s wrong-
Wreck it Ralph thanos hobo guy: *yeets himself out the window*
Rich: *stops screaming* hhhā€¦.* turns to jake crying and sweating* i-its back jakeā€¦ itā€™s back.. *has a panic attack and moves closer to jake* j-jake itā€™s b-back *keeps crying*
Jake: rich- rich come here- itā€™s going to be alright- I love you babe- *kisses rich on the top of his head bc our boy*
Rich: *cuddles up to jake still sobbing a bit and shaking*
Squip(dark Kermit): OK first order of buisness. Ditch this goon.
Rich: WH-what!! Never!! *still sobbing and holds onto jake tightly*
Jake: *hugs onto rich tightly* itā€™ll be okayā€”- Iā€™m hereā€” youā€™re okay-
Dark Kermit: disgusting. You seriously want thisā€¦ thing? Nah- go forā€¦ chloe?
Rich: n-no!!! He'th amazing!!!
Dark Kermit: mutters- optic nerve blocking on- fine. Weā€™ll have to do this the hard way.
Rich: j-JAKE!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH JAKE!!
Jake: Rich? Whyā€™re you yelling- itā€™s okay-
Dark Kermit: STOP WITH THE LISP! Jesusā€¦ youā€™re such a bad person.
Rich: *sobs* i-im not that badā€¦
Dark Kermit: why would this hooligan hang around you if you arenā€™t bad
Rich: HE'TH BEAUTIFUL!!
Dark Kermit: yeah, just like you right?
Rich: ā€¦ *silently crys* i-im not- not that badā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ im not b-bad..
Dark Kermit: your terrible. The lisp make you worse. And this whippersnapper. He makes you terrible. Cut him off
Jake: rICH? RICH THIS ISNā€™T FUNNY. TALK TO ME-
Rich: WAIT WHERE DID JAKE GO- JAKE WHERE ARE YOU!! WHAT HAPPENED!! JAKE DONā€™T LEAVE ME PLEASEā€¦.. donā€™t leave me aloneā€¦.
Jake: *hugs rich* Iā€™m right hereā€” Iā€™m here-
Dark Kermit: ew push him off you
Rich: I-i can feel you i just canā€™t thee youā€¦ Kermit hethā€¦. I canā€™t thee you pleaseā€¦.. justā€¦. *sobs*
Jake: Iā€™m here- thatā€™s all that matters- Iā€™m here- itā€™s okay *all the kisses* lemme call up my homie Michael *calls up his homie michael*
Michael: yeah sup
Jake: I need mtn dew red
Michael: yeah come to my house
Jake: why
Michael: Iā€™m comfortable
Jake: fine
Rich: d-donā€™t leave me!!!!! *moves around trying to find jake* donā€™t leave me!! *tears up*
Jake: Iā€™m going to pick you up, okay babe? *bOOM picks up rich bridal style bc owo* *runs on over to his homie Michaelā€™s house* MICHAELLLLL
Michael: Iā€™m in my room, bitch
Rich: *clings onto jake*
Dark Kermit: ok Iā€™m back from japan and my spa. Whatā€™s been happ- OH MY GOD YOURE IN THHE PRESENCE OF TWO LOSERS! GET OUT OF THERE.
Jake: *runs to our homie michaels room*
Dark Kermit: im done *starts to take control of richā€™s legs
Rich: *clings onto jake tighter* heā€™s gonna t-take control *starts moving legs trying to get up* j-jAKE DONā€™T LET ME GO WHATEVER YOU DO WHATEVER I SAY DONā€™T LET GO OF ME *clings tighter*
Jake: *hugs rich tighter sksksk*
Dark kermit: jfc this is boring uhā€”- *makes rich punch Jake in the nose* thereee
Jake: *gasp-* owā€” oW *cries*
Rich: Iā€™M SORRY *sobs* I DIDNā€™T MEAN TO *sobs a lot and clings onto jake v tightly* PLEASE DONā€™T LET ME GOā€¦. u-unless I hurt you agianā€¦. I donā€™t want y-you getting hurt *v sob v sad*
Dark Kermit: *makes rich kick Jake in the ribs bc this is the tea* hah hah hah
Jake: ooWwww *drops rich and doubles over bc ow pain*
Michaelā€™s first mom: Michael your friends are here!
Michaelā€™s second mom: Michael your friends are fighting!
Rich: I-IM SO SORRY I-
Dark Kermit: *makes rich yā€™all ooo the tea*
ā€œRichā€: I hate you ew youā€™re gross go die
Jake: rich??? that- thatā€™s meanā€¦
Michael: CAN YOU GUYS KEEP IT DOWN IM TRYNA FIND THE MTN DEWā€” AND WATCH HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
Rich: i- I didnā€™t mean it it was the squip I swear!!!!! Please just find the mtn dew.. I canā€™t hurt you anymoreā€¦. *single tear*
Dark Kermit: mmm nahhh
ā€œRichā€: just leave omg Iā€™m lying to you. Iā€™ve always hated you, douche. Go dieā€”
Jake: riCHARD!
Michaelā€™s mom pt. 1: Michael who do you hang out with?!
Michaelā€™s mom pt. 2: Do we need to have a talk??
Michael: CAN EVERYONE SHUT UP?!
Rich: iā€¦. i
Dark Kermit: youā€™re so bad at this
ā€œRichā€: just leave. Leave!!
Michaelā€™s moms pts 1&2: this is like a soap opera omg
Michael: Jesus why is my room a mess..-
Jake: rich please stopā€¦
Rich: Iā€™M TRYING!! *sobs* HE'TH TAKING OVERā€¦
Michael: bAM FOUND IT *michael makes an entrance dododo* hereā€” *shoves that tasty mtn dew red down Richā€™s throat*
Jake: riCH?
Rich: *still sobbing* he- he'th goneā€¦. *hugs jake* Iā€™M SO SORRYā€¦ ALL OF THAT WAS NOT TRUE I-I DONā€™T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME
Jake: itā€™s okayā€¦ itā€™s okayā€¦ Iā€™m hereā€¦ *hugs rich bc he deserves all the hugs*
Michael: can you guys get out of my house bc jere is coming overā€”
Jake: jfc *picks up rich and kisses his nose uwu* lets go babe
ACT 4
Rich: *holds onto jake* thanks for thatā€¦ you know.. getting rid of the squip and all for me *kisses Jake bc he is a hero*
Jenna: *has filmed entire thing from ACT 1 to act 3* heh heh heh heh >:)
Jake: I love you so much babe- *all the kisses sksksksksk*
Jenna: *still filming all this hot tea*
Rich: I love u to :) *so much of the kisses*
Jenna: *stops film* YO GAYS
Rich: *turns around* thit-
Jake: oh- um- *lets go of rich* hiii jennaaaaaā€”ā€”ā€”
Jenna: look what i got *holds up camera*
Rich: no no no no no no no itā€™s not what it looks likeā€¦
Jenna: OK so Iā€™ll go tell Madeline Jake is single then ok?
Rich: ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€“JAKE IS MINE
Jake: Jenna, whatā€™re you going to do with that recording? *hugs rich bc iconic*
Jenna: oh idk, defiantly NOT show the schoolā€¦ yeah! Because I want to not be cool. Sureā€¦. NO. I am showing EVERYONE!!
Rich: *hides behind Jake scared*
Jake: J-Jenna! You wouldnā€™t do that- right?? Right??
Jenna: Yes I would! In fact, I already shared it with clohe, Brooke, and Madeline! They will share will share with evreyone else since they are v popular.
Rich: *continues hiding behind jake*
Jake: *hugs rich close to himself*
Chloe: *screeches and jumps outta tree* oH MY GOD!!! THAT IS SO GAY!
Rich: *hugs Jake sobbing* why do we have to c-come out by gossipā€¦
Jake: *rubs Richā€™s back* itā€™ll be okay, babe. Iā€™m hereā€¦ *kisses Richā€™s head bc my sons*
Jenna: this will be the talk of the school tomorrow! I canā€™t wait!
Rich: i-i donā€™t wanna be cool anymoreā€¦ *hugs Jake tighter*
Jake: shhhā€¦ itā€™s okayā€¦
WOW LOOK THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL
Bully McGee: *slides on over to Richā€™s dms and life tbh* hey gay. youā€™re gay. haha dummy
Rich: ā€¦ā€¦. *moves closer to jake*
Jake: *punches bully mcgee* go away.
Jenna: oh itā€™s my second favorite gays! How are you two?
Rich:(sarcasm alert) oh you know, bullied here, getting called a faggot there. Good times, good times. *leans on Jake*
Jake: *kisses rich on the nose* Stop being so angry *laughs*
Madeline: *stomps on over to jakey d and rich* jAKE. HOW COULD YOU DATE ME, AND THEN JUST THINK YOU CAN CONVERT TO A FAG? I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU.
Jake: Madeline- calm down-
Madeline: NO. I WILL NOT. YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME. *sLAPS JAKE BC TEA* *sassily walks away*
Jake: *cries* I didnt mean to hurt anyoneā€¦
ACT 5
Rich: thes a bitch jake, donā€™t let that get to you *hugs jake* if it makes you feel any better, you know I love you *smiles*
Jake: mhmā€¦ *digs his face into Richā€™s hair bc wow*
Hoboā€™s cousin: hey bitches itā€™s me šŸ˜ who wants a nice quality tic tac
Rich: no thanks Iā€™m good
Jake: idk gimme one *inhales a tic tac*
Hobos cousin: oh yeah take mtn dew *shoves it down jakeā€™s throat*
Jake: *intense screaming*
Rich: JAKE ARE YOU OK *holds jake*
Jake: rich- babe- th-thereā€™s a man behind youā€” heā€™sā€” scaryā€” *cuddles into rich* rich Iā€™m scaredā€” what happened???
Live action squidward (SQUIP): why the fuck is this short little asshole touching you ew
Jake: uH?
Rich: *holds Jake tighter bc heā€™s special* i-its ok dudeā€¦i think itā€™s a thquipā€¦
Jake: *sobs into Richā€™s shoulder* I want it to be gone- itā€™s- itā€™s scary- and mean-
Squidward: ew you make me want to poop
Jake: *screaming*
Jenna: wow this is tea *films Jake literally dying*
Rich: *plays with his hair to calm him down* i-its ok bro itā€™s fine I got u manā€¦ (in his head: THIS IS NOT FINE)
Jake: *sits on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest* richā€” Iā€™m scaredā€”
Squidward: hi Iā€™m a robot beeply booply
Rich: Its ok bb i got u.. *sits next to Jake pulling him closer*
Squidward: what does this fag think heā€™s doing. Get him away he might give you rabies
Jake: *hugs into rich* go away squidwardā€”
Squidward: *makes Jake push rich away* there you go
ā€œJakeā€: what am I doing? I should be with Madeline
Rich: w-whatā€¦?
Squidward: hehehheheh
ā€œJakeā€: yeah! YOU DO realize no one likes you right? You just a flat out loser. I canā€™t belive I Dated you
Rich: n-noā€¦ itā€™s the thquipā€¦ *starts to cry*
ā€œJakeā€: no, this is just me. Plain. Old. Jake.
Squidward: nice job me! Well thank you me
Jake: rich I- *BAM the squip shuts off his vocal chords bc omg tea*
Squidward: I am just so good at this
Rich: you whatā€¦.
Squidward: heh heh heh
ā€œJakeā€: I hate you.
Rich: o-oh yeah coolā€¦.. *looks away crying*
Jake: *starts sobbing and hugs rich*
Squidward: hehehe šŸ˜ŽšŸ˜Ž
Rich: t-thorry for being aliveā€¦.
Squidward: look what you did to your friend. Youā€™re such an asshole
Jake: *intense sobbing and shaking*
ā€œJakeā€: you should be sorry. youā€™re the ugliest, stupidest, worst person Iā€™ve ever met. your short and you have a lisp which is ugly af
Rich: F-FINE I N-NEVER LIKED U ANYWAYSā€¦ *runs to Jakeā€™s house sobbing and shaking*
Squidward: *BAM wow look Jake can talk again*
Jake: RICH WAIT- *sONIC RUNS AFTER RICH* RICH STOP I DIDNā€™T MEAN IT- IT WASNā€™T ME-
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thatfizzyyyy Ā· 6 years ago
Text
ABC Tag
Tagged by @lnevada! I have a vague memory of doing this before but I didnā€™t tag it so I canā€™t find it and Iā€™m not #scrolling through piles of posts. Plus. Itā€™s fun.
A Age: 15
B Birthplace: USA
C Current time: 6:54 PM
D Drink you had last?: Juice. Canā€™t remember what kind, though.
E Easiest person to talk to? A close irl friend
F Favorite Songs: I have a bunch... GINASFS by Fall Out Boy, Regret by The Gazette, Yeah Boy and Doll Face by Pierce the Veil
G grossest memory: *has a flashback* *shudders*
H horror yes or horror no? Tasteful horror. As in, there are other elements to the story rather than just,,, horror.Ā 
I in love? yeet
J jealous of people? oof. Well imma keep it real here, yeah I struggle with that quite a bit.
K kids of your own someday? idk kids are cute
L love at first sight or should I walk by again: LMAOOOĀ 
M middle name?: Nuclear codes, you mean? sksksks Iā€™m dodging a lot of questions
N number of siblings?: 1 older brother
O one wish?: To stop being. Like that. Like stop.
P person you last called? My mom
Q questions youā€™re always asked?Ā ā€œWhat you drawing?ā€ like,,, move if i wanted to tell you i wouldve been showed you
R random fact about you: Iā€™m not a good liar
S song you sang last? All of Infinity On High? (Fall Out Boy)
T time you woke up: 5:00 am (i hate capitalism)
U underwear color: Crimson
V vacation destination: Japan, Italy, Hawaii, Maui but never from Japan on a round trip flight (0 people will get the reference im positive)
W worst habit: procrastination.
X x rays? Yes, I have had x-rays.
Y your favorite food? potatoes. (literally anything w potatoes.)
Z zodiac sign: Gemini. thatā€™s right. iā€™m 2 faced, not a 2 timer.
Exeunt.
Iā€™m just gonna. Tag some people. @unwriter-sc @kavisnkys @writerproject @wolfygecko @alinakerrinĀ 
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