#y'know...conscious for longer than a minute

[project-sonadow]

happy hour drabble #4

"This is ridiculous," Shadow huffs, crossing his arms as he leans against back of the—their—couch. Sonic grins back at him all too easily, something that only irritates Shadow further; not only because of Sonic's smug attitude or clear enjoyment in Shadow's annoyance, but the fact that his disguise can't do anything about that stupidly lopsided grin of his. It only makes Shadow's grimace deepen as Sonic throws himself on the couch beside him, a little closer than usual.

"C'mon, Shadow, it's perfect!" Shadow just continues to stare disbelievingly, pointedly ignoring the arm Sonic has around the back of the sofa, body faced towards Shadow. "Nobody'd question a thing if we just say we're together!"

"Nobody would question anything if you'd stop bothering me during your breaks," Shadow hisses, still frowning as he glances away. He hates to admit it, but it is a decent excuse—one that makes it easy to want to keep discussions frequent yet private. But he doesn't want to admit that for multiple reasons, so all he can do is scowl back at Sonic's stupid, knowing face.

Their staring contest lasts for maybe a minute in silence, and Shadow's grip on his own arm tightens when he finally closes his eyes and lets out a long, long sigh.

"Fine. We'll use a ... 'relationship' as our excuse for meeting so often." It saves him from the constant questions he gets whenever he picks up and drops off Sonic from Speedy's, anyways. Sonic looks rather pleased with himself after getting Shadow to give in so easily, which means Shadow has to grit his teeth to hold back from Chaos blasting him point blank.

"Great! Soooo, that just means we gotta work on ... uh, y'know," Sonic shrugs. "Selling it."

"... What."

"Like," Sonic hums, giving Shadow a once over that absolutely does not make him feel a tiny bit overly conscious. Sonic makes some vague hand gesture at Shadow's face, then the space between them, then waves his hand around some more like it means something. "Y'know. Acting like you actually wanna see me—"

"I never want to see you."

Sonic rolls his eyes, scoffing himself now. "See, that's what I mean! We gotta fix that if we want this to work."

Does Shadow want this to work? No. And he would say as much if it weren't for that obnoxious look on Sonic's face, one that just seems to scream that he totally doesn't think Shadow can do it—that Shadow wouldn't be up to the challenge. So Shadow glares for a moment longer, feeling his ears flatten against the top of his skull with how badly he doesn't want to do this, before he turns away again with a tch.

"Fine," he grouses, again, half-growling the word before forcing himself to close his eyes and take a deep breath. When he lets it go, his eyes open to see Sonic still—staring at him, with those impossibly green eyes, and it takes everything in Shadow to not be on edge once more immediately.

"That's the spirit!" Sonic says cheerfully but calmly, still grinning but—and maybe these time loops are just finally getting to Shadow's head, a little, but he thinks this smile is just a bit softer than it was before. Sonic visibly moves a little closer, arm now almost around Shadow's shoulder more than the couch, and Shadow feels a little too warm and aware of the way Sonic's facing him. "Just don't look so constipated whenever I get close to ya', alright?"

Shadow swallows down some biting remark that he doesn't even know, eyes flickering from Sonic's arm around his yet again tensed shoulders to Sonic's face to the lack of space between the two of them. After another eternal second of Sonic just—just smiling at him, Shadow finally elbows him in the gut, feeling a little better at the quiet oof that escapes him.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Following up with the "Shadow Sickness" post imma jot down Shadow Sickness headcanons for my own main OC Holly Steelcry. y'know if anyone cares (solemnly and bashfully kicks at the ground with dirty sneakers /j)

"Shadow Sickness" headcanons for The Thing™

The progression of Shadow Sickness (regular state of mind -> corruption of mind and soul -> complete madness and/or eventual death) varies from person to person, for any reason. Holly's state of Shadow Sickness could be considered Halted (still suffering from symptoms but no longer actually "sick") due to how slooooow the progression is. They're in a "gray area" state where she's not developing new symptoms but her existing ones are gradually worsening

Holly first became "infected" when they learned Shadow Magic for the first time, but their symptoms started IMMEDIATELY, which is extremely uncommon. The first symptom Holly displayed was a Tulpa, a physical manifestation of their survivor's guilt of the destruction of Azteca. This would eventually lead to their second symptom of the Shadow Sickness, the physical scarring in which the survivor's guilt manifested - darkened streaks curled around their shoulders and down her back, appearing to resemble blackened, burnt feathers. This would be the first scar of three. (This particular scar brings feelings of shoulder and back discomfort: involuntary back and shoulder twitching, tiny muscle spasms, slight pain, and an occasional burning sensation).

Since then no more Tulpas would manifest, but more physical scarring would appear over time. The second scar resembles a clawed, skeletal hand curling around the front of Holly's throat. The "fingers" are long and crooked and wrap around her jugular and close snugly across her entire neck (this scar causes a sensation of asphyxiation; the tightness/closing of the throat and a loss of oxygen. Rarely it will cause a sore throat and when these feelings flare up, Holly will either go silent completely, repeatedly and audibly gulps, or pauses to take deep open-mouthed breaths of air). This scar starts to appear by the end of Khrysalis and fully manifests by the end of Mirage. It represents the helpless feelings of being forever bound to Shadow combined with the subconscious fear of fully succumbing to its temptations and madness until there is nothing of reason left.

The third (and final thus far) scar to appear is a swath of darkness that stretches across Holly's face and covers both eyes and the bridge of her nose, which appears to look like an eye mask, or the face of a raccoon (this scar is what caused Holly's eyesight to go bad, so much so that without them, Holly can only see light. They cannot distinguish any colors or shapes. This scar also causes intermittent exotropia [the occasional wandering of their right eye, facing outward], and headaches). This scar first started to appear in Karamelle and was fully manifested by the end of Novus. This scar represents the full embrace of the "false" identity Holly adopted of being Bartleby's Scion, and the deep-rooted belief of being inhuman and therefore better or superior than normal humans. It is when Holly accepts the dehumanization of her from everyone around them. (But hey, at least it covers their constant eyebags! ✌🏾)

Other symptoms would include the temporary loss of body control and mild hallucinations. Since Holly's Shadow Sickness is not yet in the most severe stage, she is fully conscious and sound of mind when these episodes happen.

The most common physical episode is when Holly's entire body suddenly goes rigid in a state of paralysis. Stiff like a board and can only move when someone moves them, but will involuntarily snap right back into position. It's spooky to see someone look so tense and frightened but their expression is nonchalant and a bit tired. "Yeah, it happens." This usually lasts for around a minute or two.

Other physical episodes include jumping straight up into the air, suddenly dropping and rolling, the tensing and flexing of their hands like retractable claws, and suddenly switches languages (English to Shadow Language) mid sentence. These are not repeated in a row and only last for seconds before Holly is able to control their movements again and gets back up to resume what she was doing before.

Holly's hallucinations are mild and few and far in between and almost never cause distress. The most common are visions of Shadow Shrikes wandering in the wild and disappearing behind trees, poles, buildings, etc. The only interaction these hallucinations have with Holly is that sometimes they will look up to glance at them before moving on.

The more severe and distressing hallucinations are even rarer. An auditory hallucination of a distant, long whistle above their head, a sound akin to something falling. This usually startles Holly into a physical episode of losing body control to jump up or drop down and roll. They never see anything in the sky when their head snaps up to look, though.

The second is a visual and auditory hallucination of a parliament of owls or an unkindness of ravens stalking Holly from a distance that appears to get closer with every glance. Upon closer inspection their faces and beaks are warped in uncanny, human expressions of anger and judgement. These hallucinations never seem to be violent but give off feelings of unease and malaise.

[pineapple-crow]

Alright, heres my rant for the night because I'm tired, cranky, and made the mistake of peeking at the #tradblr side of this hellscape.

I absolutely hate how the shitty alt right fascist conservative bullshit has permeated things that on face value are very much excellent.

Some examples, especially as they relate to me:

Pastel femininity - we're pretty familiar with this though I might be using the wrong term. It's all pastel colors (esp pink), pretty flowers, gold and marble, bows and ribbons, dresses, pretty hair, pretty makeup, and a soft cotton candy cloud aesthetic and shit that evoke the idea of a "soft," "gentle" feminine energy. I love that shit! I don't look like someone who does but I love this aesthetic so much. I think this aesthetic should be enjoyed by anyone regardless of their "usual" presentation or gender expression. AND YET you have these buffoons using it to push "tRaDiTiOnAl WoMaNhOoD" (that's often co-opted with cis whiteness and rejection of the idea that any gender, skin tone, or ethnicity can look gorgeous in pastel pink and roses). Which leads me to my next point...

Cottagecore - just like pastels, cottage core sparks joy in me and I also really love it's representation, especially when combined with the idea of being a homemaker (y'know in that near unobtainable fantasy where all bills are paid for and you can just make bread and weave yarn or whatever). Despite being the current breadwinner in my relationship, I also absolutely love the thought of staying in my own lil cottage and cleaning and doing house upkeep and just baking and shit. Vibing with nature and mindfulness. I DON'T love traditionalist religious nuts (mostly christians but, y'know) who use it to push tRaDiTiOnAl gender roles. No fuck you the moment that shit becomes forced, it's not fun anymore. Anybody should have the freedom to choose to be a homemaker, whether you're a wife/girlfriend, husband/boyfriend, spouse/partner, or That One Friend who has a knack for NOT accidentally making chloroform while cleaning the bathroom! Fuck traditional gender roles and forcing people to be pigeonholed into them without any choice! (And that's not even getting into how toxic it is when it comes to relationships, even hetero relationships! My husband and I realized he was taught how to be a husband (fix cars, fix the house, go to work for the entire day and drink beer/immediately unwind after getting home) but not how to be a partner (help with scheduling appointments, share a portion of the chores, do the chores without being told, other "" womanly"" tasks). That's terrible!)

Heathenry/paganism - SPEAKING OF RELIGION I hate hate hate that I have this constant concern of becoming involved/associated with/platforming white nationalists and Nazis. Fuck Nazis, fuck white nationalists, I have very violent thoughts about them. Heathenry in all its forms, to include Norse Heathenry, is open to all! Not to get too religious but the gods don't care where you or your family comes from! The gods don't care if you're able to stand outside for longer than 10 minutes without turning into a peeling lobster! To use the gods as a method of control or pushing your idiotic hate filled vitriol is to spit on Their image! To say the gods care about whether or not you have 0.01% German/Icelandic/Swiss heritage in your blood is a horribly restrictive box to put the gods in! Not to mention it ALSO gets used to push heteronormative gender roles! Get fucked! I hate that I have to be conscious of my presentation of my faith or else I'll be lumped in with half brain nitwits who smell like weeks old unwashed ass and think their pube face is on the same level as the viking warriors! Tho shit maybe it is who am I to know, fuck bro.

Let me make one point clear. I don't hate that I have to be mindful/critical of the information I absorb, and the actions/words I put out into the world to represent myself. That's okay! That's normal! That should be encouraged! What I DON'T like is the fact that Nazis made some shit up, slapped it on the face of paganism/Heathenry, and have made it so prominent that there is this CONSTANT concern of being lumped in with a group I Do Not Tolerate and, again, have Very Violent Thoughts towards.

Just...aakajsjdjfkgktkd there's so much more I could say on this but I'm really really tired. I didn't think I'd get this heated over it. Anyway I'll finish by saying tradwives/tradhusbands, white nationalists, homophobes, transphobes/TERFS, and Nazis can go shove a pineapple up their asses.

[honorisen]

@azure-steel​

“ Cloud! Hey, can you hear me in there? Hell-loo! ”

Tap, tap, tap! Zack made sure to add a few gentle thumps to the side of Cloud’s head at that before he’d fall back with a defeated sigh; his back landing with a dull thud against the boulder behind him as the former SOLDIER settled into his seat again. He’d follow his sign up with a thoughtful hum. He could’ve sworn he’d seen Cloud move -- in a way that’d almost made him believe the blond was finally starting to regain some of his composure. It’d been almost a month as it was!

But maybe Zack had just been just wishful thinking, too. So with a shrugged off “ Eh, ” Zack would go back to focusing on the makeshift ‘shelter’ he’d managed to find them for a the day.

“ ...Oh, well. At least we should be pretty safe here for awhile. I know shoving ourselves under a bunch of rocks isn’t much, but at least it’ll keep the sun off. It already feels a little cooler under here, huh? ”

[cherievol6]

cabin fever

ino dublin was the first show but pretend it wasn’t for this xo it’s like half edited cause I’m hungover lmao enjoy

tour is pretty tiring and it turns harry into a grump

word count: around 2.6k

warnings: swearing, little bit of angst but fluff at the end xo

.

"Are you wearing all of this tonight?" Harry's tone is slightly abrasive as he passionately points to your clothes strewn on the bed. He was obviously being sarcastic, the furrowed brows making you believe that he's pissed off. You sigh from your place in the bathroom, closing your eyes as your rub in your cleanser, trying your best to will away your curt response.

"I'll move it in a minute." You grumble.

"Oh, so you're not? I was just wondering, y'know, cause it's all dumped on the bed that I'm trying to make." He mumbling to himself sarcastically and you feel your patience wear thin. The night in the hotel after a day of travelling meant you, of course, slept badly again, and it wasn't helping that your new contraception was messing with your hormones. All around you felt - irritated, and had a feeling it wasn't going to shake all day.

You don't respond, slinking back into the room cockily grabbing the clothes, shoving them into your suitcase without a word and pulling out a bikini, since Harry insisted that the two of you go for a swim in the freezing cold sea, when you just wanted to do a bit of sight seeing. You'd grumbled about it last night when he suggested it, so he went in a mood and said he'd go on his own. His alarm...that stupid fucking alarm, woke you up at the crack of dawn, however. So you didn't really have much choice.

"At least pretend you wanna be here." He jabs once you're at the rocky beach a few miles out, removing his clothes before slipping into the cold water in pink swimming trunks, teeth bared at the temperature.

"Sorry I don't want to go fucking swimming when I'm exhausted, Harry." You hiss, rolling your eyes as you strip down and follow him into the water. He's doing breast strokes around in the water and you just stay stationary, shivering from the cold you've never felt before.

"Don't you think I'm tired too?" He finally responds as he sidles up to you, running a hand of water over his face. "C'mon, it'll wake you up."

"Could we not have had coffee instead, like regular humans? You don't want to get poorly from this, it's too cold." You sigh, and he makes a face.

"Anything else you wanna complain about?" He shakes his head and when you give a scoff, he swims away and leaves your scowl to etch even further into your forehead. You send a splash of water his way and he just ignores you, wading under the water.

You're out in a flash then, not bothering to spend any longer in the freezing cold. Harry was freakish with these things, his body could take these kinds of conditions; yours could not.

Pulling a towel over your shoulders, you sit down on a random bench up on the pier, to observe Harry's head bob in and out of the water.

A phone camera click drags you out of your dark cloud of a mood and you look to the side, seeing a group of younger people starting to gather in numbers, mumbling quietly and looking between you and Harry. Another phone click goes and you blow out a breath and bounce your leg, feeling more and more conscious as the time goes on. Harry's sixth sense somehow manifests itself and he's clambering out of the water, giving the people around a bashful smile as he towels himself off; a quick nod of his head towards the pier walk makes you rise from your feet, copying his actions of giving the group a small smile. You didn't mind meeting his fans, and nine times out of ten they were really lovely, and just interested in a chat. On the off occasion though, it spiked your anxiety severely, and now more than ever given you're wearing a bikini.

"I hope they don't post those pictures." You mumble once you're out of earshot, walking unconsciously closer to Harry out of nervousness that they're following the direction you walk in.

"You know they will." Is all he says, adjusting the Pleasing bag higher on to his shoulder and traipsing back to the car idling for you both. Your chest tightens slightly but you don't mention it, not wanting to bother him more with your 'complaining', especially after his earlier comment. Your shoulders roll back and you sigh, attempting to shake off your bad mood. 

"You're creasing your shoes. Lambert won't be too happy about that after he stuck his neck out for the limited editions." You half laugh as you point to the backs of Harry's trainers. He scoffs, flailing his arms in defeat, making the smidgen of humour you tried to insert into the conversation disappear immediately.

"Fuckin' hell. Anything else? Been here for half an hour and you're already nagging m'ear off."

The irritation you felt this morning bubbles up to a point of anger and you wrap the towel tighter around yourself, feeling shivery as you pick up your walking speed.

"I'll just shut the fuck up, shall I?" You snap, moving ahead of him. He goes quiet for a minute before letting out a quiet puff of air, like he's blown out his lips before releasing it.

The car ride back to the hotel is silent aside from a few grumbles from Harry when someone cuts his driver off and it jerks the car, and you can feel a pulsing headache beginning to fester behind your temples, your sinuses beginning to feel achey and stuffy by the time you're stripping off in the bathroom to get a shower. The scalding water does a good job at quelling the feeling but it still doesn't shake your bad mood, and you find yourself clambering back into the made bed whilst Harry's off on a walk with Jeff, drifting soundly into much needed sleep before the concert.

You wake to the sound of clattering and open your eyes, seeing Harry bent over his suitcase holding a small pink wash bag you remember buying for him so he'd stop using yours. He's dumping stuff into it with a frown of his face and you clear your phlegmy throat.

"What are y'doing?" Your voice is croaky as you watch him through sleep-filled eyes. He starts, glancing back at you before lifting from his knees, grabbing his tote bag.

"M'gonna get ready early at the venue. I need a bit of space." His voice is quiet and your heart leaps into your throat. You sit-up, rubbing your eyes with your knuckle. Your whole body aches and you try to will away the feeling.

"Space? Don't go." Your voice is small akin to his. You knew that the bickering was a bit excessive today, but it wasn't really a regular occurrence for the two of you, just when you both were emotionally and physically exhausted.

"It's only for today. I think we've both just got a bit of cabin fever, and I fancy a bit of alone time." Although his words sadden you, you can't help but agree. You love Harry's presence, and find yourself lucky to be able to spend his most memorable moments of his tour by his side; but sometimes the bed felt a bit too warm with the two of you, and the bathroom got a bit cramped when you were both getting ready, and Harry was leaving milk pods everywhere from his coffee or you weren't throwing away used makeup wipes.

"Okay. So I'll see you after?" You will away a sneeze before you say it, rubbing your hands up your sore arms and making a mental note to take some painkillers.

His eyes soften but his nod is stiff, him walking over to place a chaste kiss to your head before slipping out of the hotel room. And although it's upsetting that he didn't want to be around you, you do feel the irritation waver once the room falls silent.

"Are you okay? You're a bit shivery, babe." Harry Lambert has to shout over the noise of the crowd as he observes you with his concerned eyes, but your gaze stays trained on Harry sprinting around the stage. You shrug and he places a hand on the back of your neck, hissing and moving it to your forehead.

"Shit, you've got a bit of a temperature. How are you feeling?"

"Not great, to be honest." The blocked nose was impending the minute you climbed into that cold water in the morning, and it finally manifested itself after you roused properly from your nap, feeling like you'd been dragged across concrete. 

"Oh, you shouldn't have come, hun. Does Harry know?" Glenne rubs your shoulder gently and cranes her neck around to find Jeff. You sniffle, shaking your head and wrapping your coat tighter around your body. If someone saw you they'd probably think you looked ridiculous, given the common knowledge that backstage got very stuffy very quickly from the equipment and the commotion, but your fever was making you shiver like you're in the Arctic.

"We went swimming this morning in the sea. It was so cold. I think I'm just quite run down, and being too cold this morning worsened it." Lambert nods and ushers you out of the wing of the stage and back to Harry's dressing room, putting you under strict instruction to wait there.

The show only had 20 minutes left, so you figured it wasn't worth carting back off to the hotel when Harry would be following shortly after, so you hunker down and whip off your own coat, wrapping yourself in Harry's big puffer and falling sound asleep on the sofa. 

Chattering and cheering outside the door shortly later filters into your ears as you sleep, and it rouses you quickly, a cold sweat on your brow swept away by someone's hand.

"Hey, are you okay?" A soft voice speaks and you peel open your eyes, Harry's rapidly falling chest and the glisten of sweat of his neck comes into vision. He's still wearing his stage clothes, as if he ran straight to find you. His face reads nothing but worry and you feel the anger from before dissipating quickly.

"Hey." You croak, attempting to clear the phlegm from your throat. He frowns, brushing your hair back with his fingers pursing his lips.

"I didn't know you weren't feeling well, baby. Lambert said you looked really ropey and had to come and sit down." Your eyes close as he rakes his fingers through your hair.

"Hm. I think I'm a bit rundown, to be honest, H. Must have caught a cold or something." You barely manage the words out with your dry throat and he takes note of this, manoeuvring to grab you a bottle from the mini fridge.

"I'm too hot, can you take this off me? I'm too sore to move." You gesture to his large puffer coat draped over your body and he grabs it quickly. A small smile is on his face at the thought of you grabbing his coat for comfort, rather than your own.

"Shit. I bet the swimming didn't help this morning." He sighs, raking a hand through his hair with the guiltiest look on his face, "and you were worried about me getting ill, yet I dragged you in there without even thinking."

You don't say anything as you swig from the bottle, shrugging.

"S'not like you dragged me in by my hair, or something." You attempt to joke, but you grimace at the aches coursing through your body. He grabs the palm of your hand and plants a kiss there.

"No, but I definitely guilted you in."

You repeat a swig of water to avoid saying anything snarky. He huffs and plants himself down on the sofa, wrapping an arm tightly around your shoulders.

"I'm sorry I was such an arsehole earlier." You lift your eyebrows sarcastically and he fights a laugh.

"You really-" you pause to sneeze and Harry leans away, "sorry- you really pissed me off before. We need to stop going for each others' throats when we're tired, I don't like arguing with you."

"Bless you, And- you think I like arguing with you? Of course not. I just felt very crabby this morning, I'm sorry again." He looks genuinely guilty, and you're fully aware that the way you were both acting in the morning wasn't a true reflection of either of you. Plus, the cold is draining your body of energy, so you don't have the patience nor the desire to carry on bickering.

"I understand you're just a bit burnt out. It's okay."

He smiles, rubbing his hand up and down your arm. You lean on to his shoulder and fight sleep until he drags you out of the state.

"Baby?" You hum and he cups your jaw, thumb stroking over your cheek, "I'm gonna take you back to the hotel, okay? Get you a nice bath, beautiful."

"That sounds nice." You say softly, gazing at him through your half hooded lids. He smiles slightly and provides many forehead kisses until you're in his car, and lets you lean on his shoulder the entire drive back, drawing you a cool bath (as to not aggravate your fever) as you peel the clothes from your body that once were curing your chill and were now starting to make your body temperature skyrocket.

"Want me to stay?" He mumbles, hands fiddling with yours. You nod and lull your head against the porcelain to look at his face.

"Let's promise not to fight too much on this tour. Don't want to end up strangling the world's favourite rockstar." Your voice is sleepy from the intense calmness that takes over your body from the stroking of Harry's fingers against yours and the lapping of the bath water.

He laughs loudly at that, but quickly quietens down when he sees your wince from the echo.

"Next time I'm a prick, I give you full permission."

"Mm, noted. Can I have a kiss?" You mumble. He leans forward but hesitates.

"You've got the leurgy." His head hovers over the bath water to reach your face and you frown, because although you're fully aware that he needs to avoid getting poorly for his shows, you're ill and still feeling slightly needy. Out of spite, you lift your palm quickly and flick the water over his face and hair, making his jaw lower in shock.

"That was out of line."

"You gonna carry on complaining? The water's nowhere near as cold as it was this morning." Your eyebrow raises and his face goes white as a sheet.

"Okay. Maybe I deserved that one."

.

[thebangtancloud]

Hii!

For the skz drabbles, can I request for number 14 (“I never thought I'd be the one to hurt you.”) With chan? I feel like this has some truly hurtful angst potential 🤌🤌🤌

Disquietude ~ Bang Chan

"I never thought I'd be the one to hurt you."

genre: angst, exes to lovers au.

summary: Chan regrets hurting you, and he finds himself at your doorstep at an ungodly hour just to tell you that.

Two - One - Three

The knocks on your front door sounded through the apartment in a painfully familiar pattern, wordlessly letting you know who stood behind it even without you having to open the door.

It had been six weeks.

Six weeks since you last saw the man who let you go.

Six weeks since you've brushed away your tears bravely and walked to your workplace every morning because you're strong. Because you can do this. Because you can continue to live without me.

The words that he had spoken to you that dark and lonely night, planned out and calculated so that he wouldn't hurt you as much as he intended to.

He didn't want to let you go, but he had to.

Bangchan was a man that didn't belong to himself.

He belonged to the world. The fans who loved him and supported him endlessly, somehow also ended up being his lifeline.

Or so he thought.

So it hadn't just been that night. It had been weeks of being nagged at by the company and even longer to prepare a way to let you know that he just couldn't be there for you anymore.

So why was he here now?

At 4:15 in the morning?

And why were you being a fool all over again and opening the door for him?

He looked good.

Better than you thought he would. Better than you did, any day.

With a brilliant blue silk shirt that was tucked sloppily into the same pair of black trousers that he had owned for god knows how long, his arm steadied his body against the doorframe in case he'd stumble and fall over.

Oh, did I mention that he was drunk?

The man's chin was tucked into his neck, his freshly dyed black hair shining under the golden light of the hallway that he stood in. Partly because he was conscious of the bloodshot eyes and spicy breath that he had harbored from all the whiskey that he had been drinking A mighty sigh and a sniffle later, he worked up the courage to lift his head to meet your disappointed gaze.

"(Y/n)."

He said your name like it had been the only thing he had been taught to speak. With certainty and pride, with longing and regret. You could use a hot minute to decipher the emotions that he allowed you to hear just through the murmur of your name from his glossy pink lips.

"You didn't have to open the door, y'know?"

Yeah, maybe if you didn't, you'd have some time to take care of yourself. The man who looked so lost yet dashing and well-kept really didn't need to see the way your ponytail had flopped onto one side of your head, the tiny smear of toothpaste against the side of your mouth that you were yet to take notice of, the way your clothes were crumpled and faded from the number of times you'd washed them in the washer.

Blame it on your obsessive cleaning streak.

"Why are you here, Chan?"

"Don't," he frowned softly, shaking his index finger gingerly in the air with his eyes closed. "Don't say my name like that."

"Like what?"

He huffed, lips protruding slightly into a pout.

"Like you don't hate me."

You looked away. How could you not? You didn't have it in you to hold his gaze, and neither did you want to look at the man who'd made you never want to believe in love again.

"I don't hate you."

"Oh, but you should," he insisted.

It was a wonder that even though he couldn't stand straight, not once did he take a step forward and past the threshold of your house. Neither did he ask to come in. He stood in place, one arm still holding onto the doorpost and the other swinging around whenever necessary, to help justify his words with more action.

"You should hate me, (Y/n)."

"And why should I?"

"Because I made you cry," he slurred, letting his eyes flutter shut. He was probably thinking back to the night he did actually make you cry, and the memory brought a faint albeit sad smile onto his face.

"You remember?" He looked at your face with so much love, it hurt. "That jerk of an ex who used to make you feel like shit all the time? 'member him?"

You didn't answer.

"He almost didn't let you be with me, what an ass," Bangchan scowled at the thought. "You were so afraid after he left you - after he hurt you, you kept rejecting me for so many months. Remember?"

"What's the point in remembering that?"

"Do you remember, (Y/n)?" He pressed on. He was clearly past the point of being tipsy, but he was surprisingly calm. "Tell me, c'mon."

"I do."

"Good," he smiled to himself, evidently in a daze. "Yes, so that jerk, I don't even remember his name, gosh - that was ages ago. Yeah, he hurt you. And you wouldn't believe me when I said that I'd never hurt you. Remember?"

"Mhm."

"It took me almost a year to convince you that I wasn't like him, remember?"

"Chan."

"Hey," his eyebrows pinched together. "Don't say my name like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you still love me."

Little did he know.

"Now shhh," he held a finger up to his lips. "Let me continue, (Y/n)."

It was almost funny to witness this side of Bangchan. But you weren't complaining. You didn't need to work tomorrow, nor would you have been able to fall asleep if you had walked back to your bed at that moment, so you let him. You let him continue, as he had put it.

"So...yes. It took me almost a year to make you crush me - I mean, to make you trust me. God, what am I saying? I had this all memorized."

He shifted his weight onto another foot, briefly wiping at the side of his mouth before looking at your face as though he was confused.

"You had this memorized?"

"Of course," he gave you a look as though it was the stupidest question you'd ever asked him. "I made a... what do you call that? You know, the letter kinda thingy? Where I'd write down everything I'll say to you?"

"I get you."

A fond smile grew on his face.

"You always get me, baby. (Y/n). I mean (Y/n). I guess I can't call you baby anymore."

You could only sigh.

"So, what I was saying was... yeah. it took me almost a year to make you trust me, and then I did the exact same thing that your ex did. I hurt you. And you know what, (Y/n)? I saw that look on your face you know? That night - like... like you knew it. Like you knew I would hurt you, that I would end up becoming a douchebag like your ex. And... uh, that kinda hurt me, you know?"

"Is that so?" You folded your arms across your chest, carefully taking in every little change in his expression.

"Yeah, it did. Because I never thought I'd be the one to hurt you."

This time though, Bangchan took a single step forward. His black shoes stood over the little step that let into your home, his right hand still holding onto the doorpost like it was the only thing that grounded him.

"I was so determined to protect you that I ended up hurting you instead. And that makes me feel like shit. It even made me start drinking, you see?"

The sad chuckle that buzzed through his chest pulled yet another sigh from you.

"(Y/n)."

You looked up into his eyes, stealing a glance at the brilliant smile that he had on his face.

"How you doing, darling?"

You shrugged after giving it a thought.

"I'm okay. Just like you said I would be."

"Do you miss me at all?"

It hurt to hear him ask you that question, but not more than it did to think about a way to answer him. Thankfully, you didn't need to, because he beat you to it.

"Because I miss you like crazy."

Weirdly enough, Bangchan fell silent after that. Whether he was on the verge of passing out or he simply couldn't find any more words to speak, you wouldn't know. The shaky sigh that erupted from him indicated that he had reached his limit. He was exhausted. He had done what he had planned to do and there was nothing much he could do now.

Bangchan didn't know if you'd be kind enough to call a taxi to take him home. Neither did he think of what you would do if he passed out on the floor right then. But a soft tug on the material of his blue shirt made him open his eyes in surprise to find you pulling at his hand wordlessly.

"Come and sit. I'll get you some water."

.

.

.

.

.

Request 5/30 [I'm so slow lmaoo forgive me :')]

SKZ Taglist: @bakugossanity, @jhopesucker, @kitty-kair, @joondiary

Let me know if you'd want to be added to or removed from this taglist :)

[noritoshiikamo]

Headcanons for the cursed womb siblings when they ship you and choso please 🌝 but choso is like a “job first, love later” kind of guy. He is responsible👏 He wants to support his siblings first👏 But they want nothing more than for their brother to have a lover.

modern au! office worker choso x reader no warning, just fluff. death painting brothers are normal humans, choso is just oblivious, reader is in love anywaysssss okay, i know it said headcanon but i went overboard and i cant help it anymore, choso brainrot tagging: @booksweet , @fushigurocockslut, @lazy10ieiri, @sassyeahhhh, @cotton-curse, @thevoidwriting, @dukinaxael

- job first, love later

you were the first girl choso ever brought home.

except it was by accident. your car had broken down in front of the office and you being typically you, had no idea what had happened to your shit car. “stupid, stupid!” you cursed, opening the front of your car, watching as puff of smoke escaped. you panicked, you never had anyone told you what to do with your car and such.

you were the only child in your family, your mother passed away when you were just a child and your father disappeared. you were sent away to a distance relative, the gojo where you grew up with satoru and his adoptive brother, megumi. but they are useless as a lump of coal. “y/n, are you okay?” you whipped up your head, wiping the dripping sweat off your worried head as you were greeting by a familiar face.

“oh, choso, thank god, do you know anything about car? i cant figure out why wont it start,” you cried clutching on his white sleeve before shrieking. you watched at your fingers left black smudges on his shirt, panicked overwhelmed you as you realised you just ruined the chance for help by ruining your savior’s shirt. but choso only laughed, brushing your panicked look aside and handed you his briefcase. “how long has it been like this?” he asked as he rolled his sleeves, you shrugged. “10 minutes? i think.”

“do you have any cloth i can use to check the coolant?” he asked. you nodded and headed to back, throwing the briefcase in the backseat. coming back with an old rag, you were surprise when choso grabbed your wrists. your face warmed up as he twisted and turned your hand, “did the steam hit your hand?” he asked, glancing up to your face. you shook your head and handed him the cloth. you watched as he did his thing, in 5 minutes he had the engine running and the temperature meter down.

“please, cho, let me sent you home. as a thank you!”

he smiled, “you don’t have too, i can take the subway.”

“i insisted!” you exclaimed, “plus i have your briefcase! aha, you need it so if you want it you have to let me drive you home. please?” you insisted, throwing a puppy face as you clutched both hands to your chest. he exhale heavily, before holding out his hand. your brow shot up in confusion, you placed your hand on his larger palm. you looked up to the older man, a small smile on his face. he was holding his laugh. “your car keys, y/n. lemme me drive you home at least,” he clarified, causing you to mentally slap yourself. the keys exchanged hands and you get in the passenger’s seat. he's a careful driver, he used the blinker and didn’t speed, you felt instantly safe under his care.

“do you live alone, choso?” you asked your coworker. he shook his head, “i live with my younger brothers, eso and chizu. our parents died a long time ago.”

“oh, same. my parents died a long time ago. i’m their only child. my uncle took me in, he’s like a brother to me,” you explained, reminded of your childhood growing up with satoru. he might not be an ideal father figure but he loves you like his own sister. the car slowed down in front of block A of some apartment. “you live here?” you asked glancing around. his apartment is definitely on the lower class scale, the building looks like it could be hundred years old with the chipped paint.

“yeah, i’ve been raising my brothers alone. money’s a bit tight, they are still studying,” he explained grabbing his case from the back. “thank you for helping me with my car,” you stopped him, placing your hand on his, “please let me replace your shirt. just tell me the brand and i’ll buy a new one, i’m so sorry.”

choso offered her a smile, waving his hand dismissively. “it’s okay, i can get the grease off easily. i should thank you for the ride instead. i owe you for that.”

“in that case, can i see your home?”

choso looked at you in amusement, his hand reached forward to ruffled your head, “you’re weird, y/n. but okay. a cup of tea won’t hurt.” he was sure that none of his siblings are home, parked the car and let you trailed him as you both entered the lift up to the 5th floor. you didn’t seemed to be bothered by the surrounding, the stray cats and the random pile of garbage, eyes only trained on his back as you trailed him. his house were around the corner of the stairs, further from the elevator with number 532 on the blue door. he pulled out his keys but the door was already opened.

“chizu won’t throw out the trash,” a shirtless guy with a mohawk greeted them, he was instead more surprised to see you hiding behind the man, “oh, who is this?”

“my coworker. she drove me home, i offered her some tea. i thought you two aren't home, clearly i was mistaken,” he mumbled, annoyed that his brothers were actually home. he turned to you who was looking away, he could see speckle of warmth on your face. "y/n, this is eso. eso, go be a decent human being and put on some shirt," choso ushered the man away before calling you in. you could see panic in his face when eso instead announced that choso was bring his girlfriend home to the other brother.

you couldn't help but to laugh.

-

you stood in front of door 532 ringing the door bell.

you could hear some yelling. someone was telling to get the door, someone yelled that they were busy in the bathroom and someone was angry in the kitchen. you felt conscious, maybe this was a bad time. you placed the paper bag on the floor and prayed you can make it to the stair but door opened. a voice greeted you.

"y/n?"

your steps halted. you turned around, flustered that you got caught. choso stood by the door, apron covering half of his bare body with a spatula in the other. "uh hi, i was just here to drop you something," you pointed to the bag on the floor, absolutely refusing to look up, why is he being so attractive in that stupid apron for, you cussed, "i'm sorry for disturbing your sunday, i'll go."

"is that y/n?" a voice in the background called.

choso looked back and nodding, "yup, it is her." you could see the desperate look on his face before another head popped out from the door. it was his younger brother chizu. he took a bite of the pancake, a wide smile on his face, "what's up, big sis?" the boy with the blue hair greeted her. you shrugged, pointing to the bag that's now in choso's hand. "i was just dropping something, i don't want to disturb your sunday," you shook your head but chizu insisted that you stay for breakfast.

"come on big sis, choso rarely bring any girl over, it actually is exciting to finally talk to someone who isn't as annoying as eso," chizu laced his arm around yours and dragged you through the door. you look at choso for help, the man could only shoot you a sympathetic smile before shutting the door. he followed you, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen as he watched you sat by the table. eso started filling your plate with fresh batch of pancakes while chizu started talking about this band he started to listen. you listened to it attentively, thanking eso for the syrup before he took a seat beside you.

choso took a peak of the paper bag, a small smile on his face when he realised there's a brand-new shirt in it with a sticky note on top of it. i'm sorry, hope this one fits you- the note said. he looked up to back to the table, you started to look like you belong there. the house has always been empty, it was just him and his brothers. you're just like a bouquet of fresh flowers sitting in a vase in the middle of the table; breath of fresh air to the kusozu family.

"pancakes, choso?"

your voice disturbed his thoughts. "tchh, choso, why you're looking at y/n-chan like that?" eso threw a spoon playfully at the older sibling as he walked to the table, "say, y/n, choso didn't do anything sexual to you or anything right? as your brother i'm worried," your eyes widened as you choked on your drink. chaos ensued in the house as choso threatened to murder the middle child, chizu could only sit back and enjoyed as you tried to calm him down while eso's obnoxious laugh echoed the small apartment.

"you better apologize, you broomhead or i'll murder you!"

eso stuck out his tongue, dodging the flying cup, "never!"

-

"i got something for chizu. would you mind giving it to him?"

you peaked your head in his office, waving another paperbag in hand. choso took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, "you don't have to spoil my brothers, y/n. they are already a brat without you." you rolled your eyes and placed the bag on his pile of paperworks. "my younger brother, gumi- he knew the band's drummer, y'know the band he's been talking about and got a signed album for me. i'm not a fan so i figured chizu would've enjoyed it better than me." he peaked through the paper bag, a small smile on his face as he thanked you. you both sat in silence, you felt like you were disturbing the man so you excused yourself.

"y/n," your hand froze on the handle, "how can i pay up for everything nice you've done to us? i feel like it's unfair that you're doing all this nice things and i don't want to owe you anything." your turn and watched as the man walked close to you. choso looks handsome as usual, the blue tie matched his eyes while his slightly longer hair is slicked back. you recognized the shirt he's wearing, you bought it for him and it was nice of him to wear it to work.

"would like to go for a coffee with me?" you asked boldly.

"it's a date."

-

"it's not a date," choso sighed, combing his hair back.

"it is," eso crossed his arms on his chest, "she asked for a coffee and you said it's a date. bro, it is a date." the younger brother shook his head, motioned for him to part his hair. "slicked back make you look like you're going to office, yuck. if we wanna impressed big sis, you gotta look better than this."

"it's still not a date," choso protested, "it's just a coffee meet up."

the doorbell rang.

"yeah, it's not a date when you spend an hour worrying over your hair, cho," chizu ran to the front door, waiting at the door was you. you didn't have to go up and fetch him at the door, but you actually enjoyed meeting his brothers you didn't mind the hassle anymore. "damn, y/n, you dress better when you're not going to office," chizu complemented you. you could only shake your head, pocketing your hands in the plaid skirt that fell just at your knees, "i only dress up to important stuff, job sucks ass, i ain't spending my good outfits going to work," you kicked off your boots and walked in.

"you listen to that cho, at least she knew that this that is important!"

your eyes widened at his word and the younger brother dodged your fist easily. choso peaked through the door, a smile grew on his face when his eyes caught yours, "huh, i didn't realise we are going to colour coordinate," he said, stepping out. you realised that you both had accidentally matched each other's outfit, speckles of warmth spread all over your face when you noticed how it looks like. chizu, being the loose lip took the words right out of your head, "you both look like you're dating."

"we are not dating!" both of you exclaimed immediately only for eso and chizu to share a look.

"stop that," choso warned, disappearing into the kitchen, "tea, y/n?" you yelled a yes before following him. "don't mind them, they are being an idiot." you watched as he poured sugar in a cup with teabag, before putting the kettle on. "i don't mind," you shrugged it off, fidgeting nervously with the corner of your blouse. the comforting silence that engulfed both of you were short lived.

"oh, choso, i actually want to tell you that i like you!"

chizu's soft voice easily imitated your voice, something you took offended off. you turned around to see the two brothers perched on the kitchen hatch. "i do not sound like that!" you gasped. it was eso's turn, coming through with his rendition of choso.

"oh, y/n! i like you too, but i'm just dumbass and refuse to admit my feeling!"

"i will not hesitate to sent you back to mom and dad," choso warned.

"i also think that eso is way good looking that i am, but i'm scared that he will swoop you away from me," eso continued, at this point even you couldn't hold your laughter as you pressed your palm over your mouth. "what you laughing for, y/n?" choso's eyes narrowed as he glanced at you, huffing in annoyance. "hey! don't be mad at me for laughing, he did it well." you could see his own cheeks growing redder and redder with every mocking.

"go away, boys," you shushed them, walking to choso's side as he poured the hot water in the cup. resting against the counter, you thanked him when the cup exchanged hands, looking down on the swirling liquid that you didn't realise choso's fingers hooking under your chin, tilting your face up. all you realised was his soft lips against yours.

you are kissing your coworker in his kitchen.

"cho-" you whispered between the kiss but he hushed you, his hand now resting against your waist pulling your closer, deepening his kiss, "don't mind them." you tasted like your chapstick, his kiss was soft but it was enough to leave you breathless in his arms. you look in each other's eyes, a new realization to what had just happened had you both flustered.

"god, if our shit imitation would've finally made you both realise that you two dumbass like each other, we would've done this months ago," eso snickered. the two brothers had moved from the hatch to the table, heads resting on hands watching the new lovebird. "would you mind waiting for 5 minutes while i murder my brother? i promise it won't take long, then we'll continue with our date," choso asked quietly, brushing a stray hair off your cheek as you brought the mug to your lips, hiding the small smile behind the cup as you nodded. you watched amusingly, sipping on your tea as the two brothers ran around the small apartment, yelling profanities while chizu hugged you.

"welcome to the family, big sis."

you ruffled his blue hair, your cheeks hurt but you just couldn't stop smiling, "if it wasn't to you, i don't think i wouldn't even dare to speak my feelings. so, thank you. the voice acting was shit tho."

"you thank us, you hate us, geez, big sis, make up your mind," chizu teased you, winking as he brushed it off as a joke, "you help us a lot, i never seen choso so happy before. he worries a lot. about us, money. it was good sometimes to see him put himself first," chizu shrugged, cheek resting on your shoulder, "we survived before, we'll survive now. choso has nothing to worry about. you too, we are alright, okay?"

you nodded, resting your cheek on his head, heart overwhelmed with love for you newly found family, you felt belonged here.

[ludicrouslydonewithart]

Omg its another fic

(I thought this would be a cute and wholesome bonding moment)

Omen felt overwhelmed and mentally exhausted, too exhausted to remember all the rules for socializing. And that was what had given her the 'courage'  if you could call it that, to ask Kaidan for an odd favor.

"You want me to do what?" Kaidan exclaimed, looking up from his book with a surprised expression.

"Just squeeze me, like really hard... like.... like this." She mimed squeezing someone in a hug,

"Do you mean a hug?" Kaidan asked, trying to figure out exactly what she meant.

"No.... wait yes- but like a very, very tight hug, where you squeeze me with all your strength." Omen's hands moved quickly.

"That would probably crush you."

"Yes- yes! Exactly, crush me."

"I don't think that's the best idea, I would rather not hurt you." Kaidan looked worried.

"I'll be fine." Omen reasoned.

"I don't know about this. Why do you even want me to crush you in the first place?" Kaidan dragged his hand down his face.

"I- I can't put it properly in words. I just wanna be crushed. Y'know? Don't you ever feel like that?" Omen explained, keeping her eyes on the ground.

"No, I dont, could you try to put it in words?" Kaidan asked, setting his book aside and leaning forward.

"I guess... it makes me feel better. I don't know why, it just feels nice." Omen took a step back. "It's totally okay if you don't want to though... I get that it's weird."

Kaidan listened carefully, thinking about his next words before speaking. "It makes you feel better?"

Omen nodded.

Kaidan looked down for a moment before sighing. "If it'll make you feel better I guess I could give it a shot."

Omen perked up. "Really!?"

"Aye. C'mere." Kaidan beckoned her over, a small smile pulling at his lips.

Omen nodded, darting into his open arms. She was glad he had decided to forgo armor for the night, she much prefered the feeling of flesh and fabric to any sort of steel or iron.

"Tell me if I squeeze to hard, alright? I really don't want to hurt you." Kaidan said, wrapping his arms around her.

Omen nodded into his shoulder, pulling her arms into her chest. She could feel herself relax when he started to pull her in closer and squeeze. She was foolishly surprised by how warm Kaidan was. It was comforting when combined with the feeling of kaidans heartbeat again her ear.

Kaidan wasn't squeezing as tight as he could, but he was most definitely putting a good deal of force into the hug. He stopped adding force, lightening up slight when Omen let out a sigh of relief.

"You alright there?" Kaidan checked in.

"Yep." Omen mumbled.

"Good to know."

Minutes passed slowly as they both sat there in silence, the only sounds being from the forest and camp fire.

Kaidan had begun to sway back and forth, something that Omen was thankful for, she leaned with him, closing her eyes. She could probably fall asleep like this if she wasn't careful, but for some reason she didn't care. She felt safe for what felt like the first time.

After a while longer, Kaidan's grip loosed slightly as one arm moved to her hair, running his fingers through it.

"You still comfortable?"

"Yeah." Omen was barely conscious and at this point she didn't care if she fell asleep in his arms. She felt compressed, like she was being held together. It was a comforting feeling, it let her finally let go and relax instead of just fighting to keep herself together all the time.

---

Kaidan smiled to himself when he felt her fall asleep completely. Kaidan had to admit, he enjoyed this himself, even if it was for a different reason than her. It warmed his heart to know she trusted him this much.

Kaidan leaned forward, resting his chin on her head and closing his eyes, listening closely to her slow rythmic breaths. He considered putting her into her into her bedroll, but he was reluctant to let her go, he felt at ease with her in his arms.

[dreadpoetssociety]

Fevers Don’t Exist

TW: Fever ? (I’m not sure what counts for triggers so pls lmk if I miss anything)

Prompt: hi!! could u do one maybe where like, the reader is an actress on supernatural and she plays like their younger sister on the show or something and she gets sick at a con or something? Thanks !!

NOTE: Hey guys, I’m alive!!!! I know I have a lot of Spencer prompts atm, but it’s really hard to write them when I’m not like, hyper focused on Criminal Minds. I am going to try though! So sorry I’ve left so many of you in the wind, I am a very inconsistent person, my bad. But here’s this! It’s REALLY bad because I’m terrible at being realistic but like idk it’s something.

I really don’t even know what to put for tags on this. 

()()()()()() 

Ah, September. You knew what came along every September, and looked forward to it for the first eight months of every year. Secaucus, New Jersey. You loved every con you went to, truly. Everyone was so nice, you love staying in hotels, panels are such a great time, the whole thing. It's a great experience outside of the set to get connected with fans. And, they loved you almost as much as you loved them. You were typically closer in age, since you were still just a teenager. You also started out as a fan of the show before somehow snatching a role, so you really were with them at one point. Everything that excites them excited you just as much. And, you loved making friends with them. You weren't allowed to be reckless with your phone number, so you made a snapchat that you shared exclusively with con goers, whom you made swear to secrecy. It was like a club, and you just enjoyed genuinely talking to everyone. But, when you woke up that first morning, you knew it was going to be a long day. Your body ached, and you were still pretty exhausted. You had a fever, but didn't really know if it was a fever because you were still young, and God forbid you ever decided to recognize the signs of you being sick. It was almost like a form of denial, not knowing. You were sweating, but freezing, and your throat felt particularly dry. Your headache rested underneath your eyes for the most part, to which you just blamed on being tired. Your stomach didn't hurt, but you definitely weren't hungry. Even though you hadn't felt exactly 100% the past days before, and you obviously weren't feeling right now, you just deduced that it was all because you were tired, and had a late flight in. As a responsible person does, of course. You didn't even bother taking any medicine for it, because hey, you obviously weren't sick, you'd feel better in a bit, and you didn't have any, so why waste the time, right? 

You groggily got dressed and met up with "the boys" (even though they were all older than you) for the free breakfast downstairs, in a separate room, since fans did happen to stay in the same hotel. You grabbed some Cheerios, only to conspicuously throw them away after. 

"You good, Y/N?" Jared asked out loud, gaining the attention of Jensen, Misha, and Alex. You could feel their eyes burning through your skin. Or, maybe that was the fever. It had to be their eyes, you convinced yourself, you didn't have a fever. You were fine. 

"Yeah, why?" you asked, faking the perk in your voice and confused eyes. Your eyes felt really heavy, you noticed. 

"You just... You look exhausted. And pale." he said, "And you threw away that cereal without eating any of it." 

You looked down at yourself as an effect for what you were about to say, "Wow, well that's one way to make me self-conscious. I thought I looked kind of poppin'." you laughed slightly, trying to play it off. 

"W-wait, no that's- that's not what I meant! You look fine, I just-" he was embarrassed. You and the others chuckled.

"I'm kidding. I'm all good, just went to bed late, y'know?" you smiled. It was hard to try and mask the rasp in your voice, and doing so made you feel the need to cough, so you downed some water until it dialed down a bit. He nodded. In your mind, you blessed your acting skills, thinking you got away with it. What you didn't know was that Misha, Jensen, and Jared, as fathers do, knew every trick in the book, and each noted to keep an eye on you. Not to mention, they'd been acting far longer than you had, and could just tell when one switches into a character. They all figured that if you weren't sick now, you would be in days to come, and exchanged glances with each other, while Alex innocently continued to chew on his toast. 

"Well, if you're tired, I don't think you have a panel or anything for another hour or something, maybe you could catch up on some sleep then." Jared suggested. You shrugged.

"Nah," you said, "I've got photo-ops in like, twenty minutes. I should actually probably get going. I'll catch up later!" 

You left with a wave, and disappeared into the hotel somewhere. You stopped in your room, allowing yourself finally to set free the coughs living in the back of your throat. You blamed it on your throat being dry since you didn't drink enough water. Not on germs. So, you grabbed two water bottles from the small fridge in your room, and left, making your way towards the convention center.

  You felt slightly better during photo-ops, which just confirmed in your mind that it was impossible that you were sick right now. You smiled and talked to everyone. There was one girl, who introduced herself as Meredith, who stuck out in your mind. She gave you this super cool hand painted keychain, which you very excitedly put on your keys instantly.

"Dude, I've been looking for a cool keychain. Not just one of those janky ones you find at like 7-11, like a cool one. This is so exciting." you smiled genuinely. You had just recently bought yourself a car, and thought that your keys looked a little lonely, and searched for hours on Etsy for something to spice it up a bit. A weird obsession, thinking about it now.

She laughed, "I'm glad you like it!"

"Hell, yeah! Now, are there any poses you wanna do? Or do you just want to hit that casual look? I could make it look like I'm meeting you." you stupidly rambled. One of your traits that was so widely known was how funny and awkward (in a good way) that you were. It took you a long time to get to that point, though, because you were always anxious about meeting others. You still are every now and then, but it's different here. 

"I was just hoping to get a hug." she said, "If that's okay with you." 

"Yeah, that's cool!" you wrapped your arms around each other and shot the camera a grin. The girl looked a bit confused. 

"Hey," she said, quietly, "are you like, okay? You feel really hot."

Nervously, you replied, "Oh, no, yeah totally fine. I'm just wearing two layers, and it's getting spicy in here."

"Yeah," she answered, "don't push yourself, okay?"

"I won't, thank you. It was really nice meeting you!" 

"You, too! Thanks!" she waved goodbye and you moved on to the last few people in line. She was right, though. You realized that you felt worse than you did when you walked in. You thought it had gone away for a while, but now it was just amplified. You noticed you were cold again, but that you were sweating as well. It must've just been the temperature in the room. These conventions aren't always able to keep a steady temp in the entire building, right?

This day, you didn't have much to do. Most of your events were on the other days to come. You had one panel in a few hours, and then a panel with Jared, Jensen, and Misha a few hours after that, and then bam, the day was over. You just had to get through those two events. Just two. 

Two, events. And both were an hour. So, two hours out of the day. Rookie work. Yet, as your panel approached, the headache had expanded from under your eyes to anywhere that there was space to hurt, your throat ached and so did your lungs from how much you were going off somewhere to cough in privacy, your body felt heavy, you couldn't tell if you were hot or cold at this point it was some weird combination of both, your stomach hurt just slightly, the world was moving around you a bit more than it usually would, and the fever you "didn't" have had climbed a degree, probably two. And, at some point during the day, you got pretty congested. You felt like you could just fall asleep at any moment. Jared and Jensen happened to be walking by where you had been waiting by yourself, away from any congoers or employees, and noticed that even though you were leaning against a wall, you somehow were still swaying.

"Y/N?" Jensen called out, worried. You heard him, you knew you were supposed to respond, but didn't know how. Maybe you did have a fever, and maybe you sort of let it out of control. It was like you were comprehending them, but not at the same time. You heard everything, but it just swept right through your feverish mind. The walked in front of you and examined you within seconds. You felt Jared's cold, really abnormally large man hand sweep your hair back and land on your forehead. 

"J, she's burning up." you felt another hand on your face. You, quite exhaustedly, swatted it away. They couldn't figure out how it'd gotten so bad so quickly. You were sick this morning, but not to this degree. They knew then that you had just shrugged it off all day, and your teenage fever brain probably didn't even think to take any kind of medicine or anything for it, even if you were trying to hide it.

"I'm good. Just tired. Fevers don’t exist." you finally mumbled, taking a few deep breathes, which you hadn't really been able to do in a bit without being rudely interrupted by a bone-shaking cough. It felt nice, almost. The boys sighed at you and shook their heads. 

"Y/N, you should go back to your room and get some rest. We can bring you some stuff that'll help." Jared suggested. You shook your head and opened your eyes, which somehow felt even heavier.

"Nah," you said to them, "I've got a panel, I think, in like, I ‘dunno, some minutes or something. Something I-" you pushed yourself off the wall to try and make your way somewhere, but stumbled a step or two, which result in Jensen and Jared instinctively to grab you in order to keep you steady.

"Like hell we're letting you go to that, Y/N, you can't even form a sentence, or stand for that matter. You're out of your mind. We're going to bring you back now, we'll take care of your panel thing." Jensen stated pretty sternly. You were about to fight back, and they could see it, but you coughed a few times, and they could almost feel it in their own chests. You just nodded in defeat.

"Yeah, maybe I could just like, sleep, for an hour or two." you whispered, tiredly. The two were still holding you steady, and could see you already falling asleep before even going anywhere. 

"Or six, by the looks of it." Jared joked lightly.

"Poor kid." Jensen said to Jared as the were walking out of your room. They helped you get there, and you were gone before you even saw the bed, "Why do they always have to pretend like they aren't sick? Look where it gets them."

"Don't know, man. You can't talk, though. You literally tell people you are immune to illness." Jared laughed quietly, shutting you door.

"Well I am. I am the perfect example of health. I don't get sick." 

"Yeah," Jared rolled his eyes, "Right. Watch you catch what Y/N has. You practically carried her all the way here. There's no way you're escaping it." Walking towards the center, the back way of course, Jensen scoffed, "Please, germs take one look at me and know not to mess this up. And, by the logic, that means you're already infected, too. So, tell me, princess, what sort of soup do you want spoon-fed?" 

Again, Jared rolled his eyes, and the two laughed. They weren't making fun of you, they were making fun of each other, and knew that you would've wanted in on that action.

"Y/N probably would've destroyed us if she heard that. Something along the longs of 'You want me to tuck you in? Carry you bridal style?'" Jared pitched his voice a tone higher for it. Again, the two men laughed.

They made their way backstage of what's supposed yo be your panel, and informed the crew about what was going on. They were just going to fill in for you, probably tell a few embarrassing stories.

When they made their way through the curtain, the crowd shouted. They were obviously excited to see the two leads, but also were obviously confused. "Alright, you're probably confused." Jensen stated the obvious, "Because obviously, we look nothing like Y/N, and thank God she does not look like us." The crowd laughed.

"Anyway, Y/N can't make it today. She's really sick-" the crowd cut Jared off with a unison "awe." People yelled out that they hoped she felt better, tell her to take care of herself, and so on.

"Yeah, poor kid looked like she was just going to fall asleep right where she was standing. She literally tried to come anyway, like, kid, you're making no sense. Y/N couldn't really fight against us, though, so she's sleeping now." Jensen explained, "So we came here to chat in her stead, but just know she really was planning on coming. That kid loves you guys." and again, the "awe" rolled through the crowd. 

"If she wasn't sick, she could totally kick both your-" the last word was cut off, but was implied anyway, someone screamed from the crowd, which resulted in laughter.

"Yeah, probably. Even if we were stronger than her," sarcastically, of course, "she'd still beat us. Kid's too fast, and I'm too old." Jared laughed.

In the last ten minutes of the panel, Jared decided to give you call. Not only to check in on you, but so you could at least say hi to your crowd. When you heard the phone ring, you groggily opened your eyes and aimlessly reached for it.

"Hello?" you answered. Jared almost frowned at how sick you sounded, even with just one word.

"Y/N?" Jensen stepped in, "It's Jensen."

"Unfortunate." you sighed exhaustedly. It was joke, a really tired one, but still enough to make the crowd laugh.

"We're here at your panel, we thought you might want to say hi." Jared said loudly, holding the speaker of his phone to the microphone. 

"Panel?" you asked. Panel? What panel? Your delirious mind was clearly confused, "Who's that?" 

"Y/N, the con. The convention panel?" Jensen actually sounded worried. They probably should've thought to give you some sort of medicine to do something about the fever you had before they'd left.

"Oh," you closed your eyes again, almost falling asleep, before remembering finally what it was they meant, and after a moment, "Oh! Crap, the panel thing, I'm late."

"No, Y/N, stay there, we've got it covered remember? You can't come. You can say hi to them, though." Jensen interjected quickly.

"Okay, hi guys." you just followed as told.

The crowd responded with a series of hello's. 

"'M really sorry. I hope they aren't boring you." the two men could practically hear you closing your eyes. The crowd responded in inaudible chatter. Jensen and Jared walked from the mic for a second.

"Sorry if we woke you, kid." Jared apologized, having just realized they probably could've left you alone, "W also just wanted to check in. See how you're doing."

"How are you feeling?" Jensen asked, but got a mumbled word in response, "Alright, well, just go back to sleep, we'll be up there soon." 

Jared hung up the phone, and the two began to answer the last few questions and close up. They waved their goodbyes to the crowd, and started heading back your way.

"Jensen, you got any over the counters with you? Thermometers or anything? All I've got is Advil, and I don't even know what's really bothering her yet other than that cough and being tired."

"Yup. Danneel always makes me carry literally an entire medicine cabinet, just for these moments. I'll go get 'em and meet you there. It'd probably do her some good to eat something, too. I don't know if she's got like, a stomach virus thing going on, though." Jensen answered.

"I'll see what she'll say and let you know." 

The two parted ways, and Jared made his way to you. Even though he'd only talked to you just a few minutes before, you were dead to the world by the time he opened the door. The room was boiling, and Jared looked over to the thermostat to see that you'd at some point put it on to 90 degrees. 

"Jesus, Y/N, I know you've got a fever, but damn." he said, more so to himself than to you. He looked over at you after turning it down to see you curled beneath what looked like any blanket you could find. He came over and started removing the blankets slowly, and shook you gently to wake you up.

"Y/N, wake up for a minute, it's Jared."

"'Mm." was all you said, until you realized your layers of warmth had been moved, "What're doing? It's cold."

"Y/N, you're dripping in sweat. It's the fever making you cold."

"I don't have a fever." you retorted, "I'm good. Just tired."

"Kid, you've been tired the whole day. You've been sleeping this whole time." he tried rationalizing.

"I have?" you questioned, closing you eyes again. Jared put his hand to your forehead again. Somehow, it was warmer than the first time he'd done it before the panel. It was then that Jensen finally appeared, a whole bag of things in hand, "Could you bring the thermometer over?"

"Yeah, gotcha." He walked over and rummaged through the bag at the same time, pulling out a thermometer.

"Y/N, we need to take your temperature." Jensen said.

"No need." you said, "'M not sick."

"You are so obviously sick, I'm not asking." again with that stern voice. Jared gave him a "Hey, she's sick, back off a little" sort of look, but it had worked, and you let them take your temp. They were almost shocked when the thing beeped at 103.

"Should we take her to a hospital? That's way too high." Jared asked. 

"If it gets any higher, yes, but let's see if we can bring it down first." Jensen replied.

"No hospitals." you demanded, opening your eyes and glaring at them. 

"We aren't bringing you yet, Y/N, but I need you to eat this so you can take some meds." he held out two pieces of toast that he must've brought from his room. You hated toast even when you weren't sick.

"I'm not really hungry." 

"I know, but it'll help. You haven't told us what's bothering you yet, either." Jared responded.

"Nothing's-" you coughed a few times, a bit violently, "bothering me." "We can see that." Jensen said sarcastically.

"Everything's bothering me." you whispered, giving up.

"Your stomach hurt?" Jensen asked. You waved your hand from side to side to signal a so-so, "Think you'll get sick at all?"

"No, it's not like that, I don't think." you breathed out, another cough escaping you. You took a few bites out of the toast. It made you uncomfortable, but it was then that you realized you probably felt that way since you really hadn't eaten much that day or the one before, which probably contributed to the splitting headache. It didn't go away after, either though. You pushed yourself up. You almost fell over, but Jared put a hand out for you.

"Alright, good. Take this. I'm going to be frank, it tastes disgusting." Jensen handed over a small cup of liquid, "Sometimes, if you take it like a shot, it helps. But you shouldn't know how to take shots, but if you do it, I won't judge." And so you did, causing the two to chuckle slightly at you. 

"You were right, about the sleep thing." you slumped back onto the bed heavily, like a brick.

"When am I ever wrong?" Jensen asked, "Don't answer that, actually."

But you were already sleeping again, and the boys decided to stay nearby for now. The next panel wasn't for another few hours anyway, and they just didn't want you to be alone. Also, incase you were wrong about the toast, and it decided to make its return. Jared's phone began to ring loudly, to which he very quickly tried to answer so his obnoxious ringtone wouldn't wake you up again, not that you wouldn't have just fallen back asleep anyway.

"Misha? Hey, what's up?" Jared answered. Jensen walked over to hear what was going on on the other side of the line, but Jared just decided to put it on speaker.

"Where are you guys? I haven't seen you all day. Felicia, Alex, and I are going out for lunch, we were wondering if you guys want to come. I tried calling Y/N, but she didn't answer, so." he rambled.

"That's because Y/N's not feeling well." Jensen said, giving him a solution to his predicament of not being answered, "We're with her right now, so we'll have to pass."

"She's sick? Is she okay?" 

"Yeah, I think so. She's just got this crazy fever we've been trying to bring down. Thinking about it now, Jensen, we should probably check it again." 

"A fever?"

"It's been at 103 degrees for like, two hours. At least for what we know of. She's probably had one all day, but as a dumb teenager does, she just tried to ignore it." 

"If it goes up you should-"

"Yeah, we know," Jared said, "we're trying really hard to avoid that, though. Also, she'll definitely fight against it, I don't know." 

Jensen, from the other side of the room at the sound of a beeping thermometer, could be heard on Misha's end, "It went down, finally. 102.2."

"Thank God, I was getting worried."

"Should I come there? Do you guys need any help?" Misha asked.

"I mean you can, but I think we're good. She's just been trying to sleep it off the whole time, so not much is really going on." Jensen was closer to the phone now, "Like, she's got this cough, a headache, and you can hear how congested she sounds, but mostly I think she's just exhausted. I honestly don't know how because she's just been sleeping for hours."

"Fatigue."

"Yeah, poor kid. I don't think I've ever seen her so tired, it almost makes me tired to be honest." Jensen joked.

"Maybe you're just getting sick." Jared slipped in.

"Not possible. I am immune."

"Nobody is immune, Jensen." Misha sighed.

"I'm not nobody." he shrugged. 

"Alright, well, we're going to get lunch then. If you need anything let me know, and tell her I hope she feels better." Misha concludes.

"We will, thanks Misha." and with that, Jared hung up. For a few more hours, the two hung around. They were there when you woke from some fever dreams, and when you needed a cough drop, or twelve, and wake you up every now and then to check your temperature, which raised and dropped and raised and dropped, but currently was at a very steady 102.4. But, soon enough, it was time for them to leave for the last panel of the day, and unsurprisingly, you tried to follow suit.

"Y/N, we gotta go, but we'll be back in about an hour from the panel." Jared said. You took a deep breath and sluggishly pushed yourself to the side of the bed. Having been sick, and not having sat up in a few hours, the blood rushed from your head, leaving you dizzy.

"What're you doing?" Jensen asked.

"The panel. I missed the last one I should go to this one. I feel okay." you yawned, then coughed slightly.

"Y/N, really, you shouldn't even think about pushing it like that." Jared said. Jensen walked over to you, half on the bed, clearly trying to steady yourself just from the movement of sitting up. The spinning room honestly almost made the toast make a reprise, and you hiccupped, and held your breath.

"Hey," Jensen grabbed a can quickly, noticing, "are you going to be sick?"

Giving it a minute, it went away, and you shook you head no, causing a huge tension to leave the room.

"Alright, well, remember how you said I was right all the time earlier?" Jensen pun the can down.

"No, must've been the fever." you half joked, causing Jared to laugh. 

"Alright- well- okay, shut up. We agreed I'm always right, and that I was right about needing sleep, so I say you need some more." Jensen demanded rather than suggested. 

"Yeah, or at least lay around and do nothing. I can't imagine ever sleeping as much as you just did." Jared joked, pushing you very gently back down, with his hand on your back, knowing you would just hit the bed without it. Your eyes were heavy again, and your throat was painfully dry, and you coughed. Your aching head also agreed with the two of them to your dismay.

"Maybe just a bit more." you mumbled, "A few minutes."

"Yeah a few minutes, sure." Jared smiled, knowing you were probably going to knock out for a few hours once again. You opened your eyes again.

"You think," you coughed, "that they'll be mad?

"Who?" Jensen asked.

Feeling pretty sick, you said, "That I don't go? I don’t feel really good."

Ah, the fever comes to play once again, it seems, but the two felt some sort of triumph now that you've at least admitted to being sick, even if it's been hours. It concerned them, though, if you felt bad enough to admit it.

"No, they'll be fine about it. We'll be back soon. Misha or Alex might come in to check on you, alright?" Jared answered, to which you nodded.

They weren't gone long. You spent half the next day sleeping, too, until you could stand without swaying. You did sneak back to the con, against Jensen and Jared's orders, since you really didn't break that fever and cough for a few more days, only to be caught after a tweet of you at the con was trending and the cast caught wind of it. But, eventually, you were better, and got the chance to help Jared take care of an "always immune" Jensen. And he was more stubborn than you were.

[gayenerd]

Interview with Billie for the Kerrang Yearbook. Sounds like this took place around 2000-2001?

Hello Billie Joe. A bit pissed at the Kerrang Awards weren't you? "I was drinking with Papa Roach the night before. Everybody went to see The Cult in Brixton. All the American bands like Papa Roach and Queens Of The Stone Age were there. I felt terrible when I got out of bed to go to the Kerrang Awards." Who ended up worse off - you or Coby Dick? "Sometimes Coby can't even hold it together when he's sober! He's super-hyper all the time. You have to say, 'Coby, turn it off for 2 minutes - I'm in my bunk!' Then he'll turn it off and you can get into a decent conversation." You experienced some difficulty in getting off the stage after accepting your Kerrang Award. "Award's shows freak me out - I'm so scared shitless of those things so I end up doing stupid things. I never theought I'd ever win an award for playing music. Watching all our videos being shown up on the screen, I just looked at Mike and Tre and said. 'Does this mean we're old now?' I can be such a self-conscious freak. I just don't know how to be cool." What's the healthiest thing you've done this year? "I like to keep myself fit. I run, I skateboard, and i'll hit the weights every other day. You reach a certain age when you've gotta start looking out for yourself. I'm staring down the barrel of 30, you know? My dad really let himself fall to @#%$ and I don't want to end up like that. Theres a preconcieved idea about musicians and punk musicians in particular that we have to self-destruct, and I can't buy into that. I like to breathe. Like like it when my heart beats - Its a really cool thing." Have you cut down on your drinking recently? "When i'm on tour I drink all day long with the guys. There's nothing else to do. But i've been at homea while. There are many, many moods to Billie Joe. There's drunk me and theres not-drunk me." What have you learned about being a father during the past year? "You learn new things every day as your kids' characters and personalities are building. Joey is 6 now, he's not a baby at all, he's a little boy. And Jacob, who's 3, is a maniac. The one rule I have is that I never expose them to television." What have you learned about Tre and Mike this past year? "Wow (long pause). I learned that Mike is a Bob Dylan fan, which was kind of suprising. I'm not the biggest fan but I definately appreciate Bob Dylan. And Tre is becoming really fluent in Spanish. His wife is Nicaraguan." What color has your hair been this year? "I shaved my head when I got off the road. Its been black. I haven't really been changing it. When the boy groups started dyeing their hair, I had to stop." Any fashion tips you'd care to pass on to Kerrang readers? "I've been wearing the same pants since High School! Never been into the Versace thing." Best punk rock song you've heard this year? "Last Nite by The Strokes. They're not really a punk band, but those guys have a really cool outlook and a good sensibility about how they present themselves. All the rap rock metal bands have lost that rock'n'roll element, and i'm just a sucker for good rock'n'roll music." What song has been stuck in your head this year, even though you hate it? "Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm. It was bad when Michael Jackson sang it, but it's even worse second time around! Y'know, I think Michael Jackson should join Slipknot. His face looks so bizarre now, its like he's wearing a mask." Are Slipknot still the scariest dudes in rock? "In about a year from now, if they're still as popular as they are now, they'll be as American as apple pie. That's sort of what happened to Marilyn Manson. When he came out he was really scary looking, like 'Jesus Christ! This guy is a maniac!' But now its, 'Oh, theres Marilyn, mowing the lawn, no big deal.' I like Manson, but it's funny how the most normal people end up being the most threatening, and the people who are scariest at first end up kinda normal. That's the dissapointing thing about shock value. Neil Young is more threatening than Slipknot just because he's smarter and has more of an opinion." How much fun did you have on tour in 2001? "It's really exciting at first because you're in different places every day, but after a while i'd rather be home. I get into really long conversations with my wife, I talk to my kids a lot, I'll write little notes and draw pictures for them and fax them to the house. Our sets are getting longer, sometimes we'll play up to three hours, and its because there is no rock'n'roll lifestyle for me other than that. I'm a devoted husband and a devoted father, and so all that decadent bullshit is not my thing. You start to wonder, 'Is this the life for me?' But then I get home and I dont know what the @#%$ to do with myself because i'm not playing music. People have looked at us and gone, 'Obviously these guys have no place to go after the gig because they're still on stage!'" Where were you on September 11? "I was on West Coast time, so it was really early in the morning for me. I saw the towers fall, and it felt like the world was gonna end. What amazes me is that Tony Blair is almost heading the coalition by himself! Does he realise what he's getting his country into? This is @#%$ serious! There's been a lot of shocking words used: the 'crusade against terrorism'. The las thing you say to someone from the Middle East is the word 'crusade'." After September 11, do you share America's renewed sense of patriotism? "No way. I can't really see myself as a patriot. I don't see what happened in New York as an act of war, it's an act of terrorism. Every country has had to deal with terrorism in some form, and this is the first time America has ever seen it and they dont know what to do, so everyone is clinging to these war slogans. All the flags is people's cars and homes - it just seems kind of gross to me." Has American learnt from the tragedy? "I hope some good stuff comes out of this. People have become so self-absorbed and dedicated to their careers. I'm not a person to wave a flag for family values or anything like that, but there comes a time when your relationships and your family is the most important thing, not whether you're making $100,000 every year. Thats what I hope comes out of it - that people realise the important things in life." Six Of The Best Best Friend: " Valium. Lots of plane flights, man. Valium only lasts four hours, so if you're on an 11 hour flight take two and a half." Best advice: "Put your head between your knees if you think you are gonna pass out." Best Ass: "Tre Cool. Not only because he has one, but because he is one." Personal Best: The pinnacle moment for me this year, musically, was playing Reading. It was a great show. There's so many bands nowadays who can't play live, but to actually do it and have people singing along and getting something sentimental out of it at the same time, thats rare, and we achieved that at Reading." Best Night Out: "The furst night I went out after september 11. I really went for it. American has these feelings of its days being numbered. It's like a country that has just got cancer, but the cancer's in remission. A lot of people are doing all the things they've always talked about doing. I hadn't partied really hard in a while, so that's what I did. I went to a couple of bars with Mike and Tre and our producer. We got loud and had a good time." Best Buy: " My cellphone. The ring tone is just a goofy tune. And it vibrates well in my pocket."

[artificialqueens]

A Series Of Mutual Feelings, 1/3 (Scarjah) - Pazinae

chapter 1: i hate u (and the feelings mutual)

Chapter Summary: Ra'jah is determined to have a fresh start and be a better person, now enrolled as a first year fashion school student- but Scarlet has a way of always making her newfound plans falter. With a rocky high school history, the (not so) fortuitous pair endure some mutual hatred

A/N: enemies 2 luvers scarjah everyone xoxo meant to be a oneshot, but got a little carried away n my doc for this is currently 19 pages long ahaha so to be more palatable it will be a 4 chapter story (its says 3, but you'll see). this one is mainly the intro for the story to understand where they're at emotionally in the present, and is mostly ra'jah centric on her growth + kylie friendship fluff bc theyre the cutest, and a bit of scarlet pov. feedback super super welcome, enjoy !!! 

***

Scarlet strode down the hall with a sway in her hips, her heels clacking on the laminate floor. What kind of tacky ass bitch wears heels to school anyways? Ra'jah scoffed internally, watched the girl saunter like she's on a tightrope, each tantalizing step brought her foot exactly in front of the other. Her body fell into a rhythm, stomping the fucking campus like a lion stalking the jungle for the sheer fun of watching it’s prey scamper. Scarlet's bouncing skirt, her signature grin and luscious ginger curls sprouting out her scalp made her gag. And not in the stunning way. Just as quickly as she came she was gone, and, to be fair, she was just another girl sandwiched in the masses just getting to where she’s going. But she could pluck that arrogant little redhead bitch out of any crowd. Not a conscious choice of course, hell, being reminded of her sheer presence causes a battle of trying not to roll her eyes behind her skull. She can't help that she sees her. Not when Scarlet's lips are painted the same shade of bold crimson as the tight, sleeveless top she's wearing, like a fresh drop of blood in a sea of grey clad bodies swimming around in their hoodies.

This isn't high school anymore Ra'jah. A repetitive reminder that needs to be said evermore until it's understood at her core. Because It's different now, she knows that- it has to be. No fucking way are her dreams going to get caught up in everything again, they're too big to be put at stake. She can't live just to be like that again, and this time she's too grown to waste her time on useless people. High school was a bubble, a 4 year trance that she's left and is more than ready to forget about. 

"Hey, Ra'jah!" That southern, velvety voice could only belong to one stunning woman. She turned around to spot her speed walking to catch up. 

"Aye! Kylie!" Ra'jah stopped and gave a little wave as Kylie approached, her highlight shining even in the shitty indoor light. The two moved over to the side of the hall, and leaned against the wall. "If it isn't Miss Kylie Sonique Love," With such a pleasing name, Ra'jah doesn't think she will, or, really can ever get tired of saying the other girl's name. "What's up?"

"Nothin', just tired as fuck," It's kinda cute, the way her accent gets stronger when she's grumpy. "I'mma pass out at some point, I did not get enough sleep." Even as a grumble her voice is so soft and angelic, Ra'jah could probably fall asleep to the blonde reading true crime murder stories. 

"Goddamn, it sure as hell doesn't show!" Which is true, Kylie was as effervescent as always, any visible messy hair from under her beanie looked intentional. Even in her oversized t-shirt and shorts, there was an undeniable, captivating charm about her that made it impossible for her to look bad "You look gorgeous girl" 

"Awh, thanks honey," She smiles a soft, hazy smile. "You don't look too bad yourself." She hums, eyeing her up with a grin. Before she could even argue a response, the country girl quickly perks up and slaps her hand on Ra'jah's shoulder in excitement. "Oh also! I want your opinion- I'm thinking about dying my hair pink." She can see the visible sparkle in the pair of eyes looking at hers. "Thoughts?" She asks, voice becoming giddy "Oooh bitch! You better, that'd be so fierce!" The (mostly) purple haired girl exclaimed, delight evident in her voice "For real, you'd look so good. And you know, ba-BY" she claps her hands together just for added emphasis, "I support ALL the impulsive hair decisions".

"Yess, obviously I want input only from bad bitches with the best hair"

"I told you I did these myself right?" she asked, running her shoulder length hair through her twirling fingers. "I've been really into doing hair recently"

"Wait, really? It looks so pretty, the fade to purple is so good"

"What'd you mean 'wait really' hoe, what you implying 'bout my hair skills?" 

"Just that a talented woman like you should share your expertise!" Even when she was loud her voice was just as comforting, the tone reminiscent of a silk blanket on her skin

"All it took for me was bleach, a bottle of violet Arctic Fox dye, and the holy spirit of Brad Mondo"

"First of all I'm not trusting no mans named Brad," Ra'jah cackled a little because, yeah that's fair. "And secondly, if you're free, come an' help a girl out then!

"You're inviting me over? Wow we're moving kinda fast Kylie" 

"Oh shut up bitch" but the undying twinkle in her eye confirmed the unsaid agreement that Ra'jah would be doing Kylie's hair, at some point.

"I'm free on Thursday, can I visit then?"

"Yea that works" She smiled, and the closeness between the two wasn't something the taller girl ever planned, or really felt before. But she had it now, a friend she really cares about, and she never wanted to lose it.

"Shit what time is it?" Even in her Shitty Human era she was still a timely gal, her mother didn't raise no late hoe. "Don't stress it Raj, we have like 15 minutes. Introduction to drafting and sewing, right?"

"Yes ma'am. Wanna start going?" "Sure thing" This year is for a new start, making new friends, and getting a chance to create new first impressions. Rebrand herself y'know, and the hindrance that is Scarlet's existence, wrapped in all the ancient things she'd rather not think about, won't stop her.

The walk to class was a pleasant blur. With Kylie yawning and walking essentially shoulder to shoulder with Ra'jah had they been the same height, they slipped into both  comfortable conversation, and silence. With all the noise around them, their presence brought an ease without any awkwardness. 

 A trek opted through the outdoor route that was albeit a tad longer, provided some well needed greenery and fresh air.

"You excited for class?" Ra'jah asked, only half aware of where she was walking to. Her body was on autopilot, and Kylie knows the way, probably.  

"You're amazing if you can get excited by class"

"It's fun!"

"Only 'cause you're good at it"

"You're good at it"

"You know what I mean. Isn't this one your favorite?" 

"It's not my favorite" 

"Uh huh"

"I just like it a lot. Maybee essentially jus' cause I don't hafta try" It was a mandatory course, but Ra'jah's not complaining. Perhaps it's a little vain to enjoy something just to remind everyone you can do it, but it was an easy break from the rest of the courses. And a nice little egoboost.

"So I'm right!" 

"C'mon it's October and we're still on basic techniques"

"It's called introductory," She remarked. "Do you even pay attention half the time?"

"No but bitch neither do you"

"True" Kylie grinned in agreement.

"The way you're coming for me but it's easy for you too!" She hasn't been sewing as long as Ra'jah, but she has great taste so it really balanced out. "And let it be known that I use that class time to think about incredibly productive things"

"Oh that's her name?"

"What?" She didn't mean for her tone to drop. Didn't mean for her legs to stop walking, planting themselves into the cement. Didn't mean for the smile on her face to plummet at the implication. Her visceral reaction was louder than the cluelessness she gave off.  

"Calm down" She giggled, as if Ra'jah's reaction woke her up from her grogginess, her breathlessness equivalent to a shot of espresso for Kylie. "You just seem really occupied sometimes is what I meant"

"Me? No I'm not" She couldn't convince herself.

"Okay babe. The models of your fashion sketches just look a little reminiscent"  

"You know Scarlet isn't the only person with ginger hair right?" Ra'jah bites back, the condescending tone not her intention, but not exactly unwanted in the moment. Scarlet is insufferable, she doesn't want her own name slandered is all, being associated with the arrogant shit.

"Baby, I ain't mention Scarlet. That's all you.'' She had a shit eating smirk and maybe Ra'jah takes everything back about how nice friends are. IF there was inspiration, Scarlet is objectively nice looking so it's not a big deal there might be similarities if you squint.  

"She was implied" 

"If you want her to be"

They get inside and take a seat at one of the large tables, divided into stations with a sewing machine and some material at each one. Ra'jah takes a spot at the edge, with Kylie seated to her right. 

 On paper, it's all been planned out for Ra'jah; during her strolls between classes she'll take in all her surroundings and actively look for inspiration, pondering all the natural shapes and patterns of the world in a way she can manipulate into clothing. On paper, she'll make the most out of the introductory class, sketching designs between the minimal notes and sewing practices. On paper, she'll finish the mornings class with ease and have extra time to practice some new things. 

In reality? Paper is flimsy, especially when its accountability is held by a fleeting mind. It's hard to bask in the world when unwanted questions plague her head. Mostly revolving around a certain redhead. God, fuck her. Fuck her pretty eyes and fuck her sculpted face and fuck her euphonious voice. Does everyone who sees Ra'jah see her patheticness? How she allowed some cunt to infiltrate her mind, set up home in her head and take up all the space? Let her infect every cell in the brain like a parasite until her skull is nothing but an infiltrated shell for an infestation caught up with infatuation?

"Ra'jah, you good?"  The girl sat across from her, Trinity, piped up, and Ra'jah had to bite back a smile. The icy, timid girl she met just a few weeks ago was starting the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You just looked a little spaced out" 

"Nah, it's just that this class is a breeze an' I'm just thinking about a project for another class" 

"Mmm"

"Plus it's hard to just think of designs when there's no inspiration"

"I mean, we're supposed to practice gathering and making ruffles right now"

"Oh shit! We are?"

"Yeah girl!" Ra'jah, shaking her head at herself, finally picked up some of the fabric around her and got to work. "You'll be alright?"

"Oh don't worry about me! I'm all good"

"Okayyy if you need anything just yell" Ra'jah replied with a hum and a nod. Watching the girl running the fabric under the machine, memories of the first time they'd talked flashed, days of the nearly silent girl feeling so distant.

  "I really like your earrings" The girl raised her head, looking left and right a little as if making sure it was directed at her. 

"Thanks." She mumbled, vaguely looking at Ra'jah's direction. 

"If you don't mind, where'd you get them?"

"Uh, I thrifted it."

"Oh, cool" Ra'jah smiled, before quickly adding "Thanks". The raven haired girl didn't reply. The start of the intriguing game of 'does she hate me, is she shy, or both?' 

   After all the awkward attempts made for the quiet girl to be comfortable and maybe make a friend, a sense of pride rang through her. She met Kylie and Trinity here a mere month ago, and yeah, maybe she could be nice. She could walk the fineline of warm socialization without being annoying. The new Ra'jah doesn't do unnecessary mean quips just for the sake of a little power rush. She can be authentically her while being polite. New Ra'jah makes friends- not enemies. 

"Oh by the way" Ra'jah snapped her head up at Trinity's voice 

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I know it's a little random but do you know what you're gonna be for Halloween?"

"Huh. Well, I haven't really thought about it" Ra'jah remarked, "I just don't care for Halloween and all that"

"Really? Girl, you're not gonna do anything, dress up, go out, nothing?"

"Baby all that work and money for some costume I'll wear once? No ma'am- and the fuck will I do, I barely have ideas for school!"

"Hey, you could wear anything and it's a costume. Wear a black dress, you're a cat"

"You think I'm that basic?"

"Yeah?"

 "Fuck you" She snorted, and Trinity had a goofy smile, looking at Ra'jah with a sense of familiar fondness. "And thanks, really, but I don't care for all that spooky shit anyways"

"Damn, alright!" Teeth out and all, she laughed. The blonde on the right leaned in a little, a pleasant opposition of Trinity's hesitation is Kylie's eagerness

"Jesus Ra'jah, what did Halloween do to you?" The southern girl butts in. "You could dress as the grinch of Halloween, steal children's candy" 

"You know what, yeah, I'll be a sluttified grinch"

"You're kinda built the same already" Trinity joins with a grin

"Hey!"

"Sluttified? Are you implying the grinch isn't sexy enough?" Ra'jah choked a little at that, found herself smiling with some dopey content, at what exactly she's not sure. 

"Do ya'll think being the grinch would count as like, being a furry?" Trinity asked, voice dripping in an odd amount of seriousness. 

"What? Baby no" Kylie jumped in. "Yes! absolutely, how would it NOT?" Trinity argues, and maybe it's the easiness of everything.  Of how nice it is to just fall into banter when you let people in. Bouncing off the two girls, she doesn't need to think of how to be funny, how to one up herself, remind everyone of why she's worthy. She can just, be. And that warrants a smile. 

With Ra'jah's elbow propped on the table, she rested her cheek against her palm to face forward, before turning a little to face Trinity

"But why do ya ask Trin? About Halloween"

"Oh, kinda last minute but I just want some ideas to figure mine out" She shrugs, and Kylie leans over once more. It's a little heartwarming, how physically close she always instinctively wants to be. 

"Oh! Are you going to the Halloween party this weekend?"

"Nah parties aren't really my thing"

"Awh, but it'll be fun!"

"Yeah standing in a mass of people I won't talk to will be so fun"

"Fine- Ra'jah, are you goin'?" Rajah turns her head to follow the voices like a cat keeping up with a beam of light. 

"Uh..."

"RIGHT, forgot, Halloween's not your thing". A party where she can have a disguise, let loose and have fun. It feels almost embarrassing to admit to her newfound friends that she's never been to a party, and the thought of a Halloween party didn't even cross her mind. Maybe Halloween isn't not her thing, it's just not something she'd indulge in. For reasons. Like, schoolwork. 

"Welllllll…" Ra'jah hummed, dragging on with a small grin

"OH the prospect of partying changes things huh?" 

"You know, me an' Halloween, we complicated okay!" They laugh, but Ra'jah's left thinking. New or old Ra'jah both, spends a little too much time in the internal realm of the brain. 

The class falls silent except the murmurs of the buzzing machines, and the three chatter in whispers. Although usually it's mostly her and Kylie with occasional injections of confirmation from Trinity

"You're insane if you think spaghettini is better than fettuccine" Kylie protested "Spaghettini is literally the objective worst"

"Says who?!" Ra'jah paused sewing to look up at Kylie in defiance

"Me!"

"Trinity which is better" 

"Huh? Ya'll It's too early for this." Trinity complained.

"Oh, says the bitch who asked if the grinch was a furry" Ra'jah retorted, but Trinity brushed her off to look at Kylie "Oh wait! Also, Kylie, what're you gonna be for Halloween?" She gave a little snicker before answering 

"Don't come for me but honestly? Was thinking about being a cat" 

"AAAAAH!" Ra'jah and Trinity erupted laughing.

"But like, a hot one okay!" Ra'jah quickly tried to redeem herself.

"You'll be the hottest ass cat around" Plus, worse comes to worst, Ra'jah will be a witch or something, and they can be hot and basic together. 

When the class ended, they packed their things, and exchanged their goodbyes

"I'll see y'all around!"

"See you! Good luck on your textile project Trin" 

"Thanks!" She waved, yelling a final "Bye!" 

"Bye!" The three part, and Ra'jah makes her way to her second class. History of costume and design was next, and quickly weighing it out, she decided to take a quicker path through the halls. Suddenly, the weight of a body knocked at her side, the two stumbling around for a few seconds. A gust of papers had fallen from both parties' arms, and landed on the floor.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" Scarlet cuts herself off when she looks up at whom she's bumped into.

"Maybe watch where you're going" Ra'jah snorts out of sheer instinct, squatting down to gather her papers where Scarlet follows suit, just a little too close. The vague, sweet scent of strawberries she gives off is suffocating.

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" The attention sends a masochistic jolt down her spine

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" As much as she screamed internally to just shut the fuck up and get your things, it was so easy to slip back to this.

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try"

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Please don't imply that. Please don't make me doubt that I can and deserve to be here. I don't want to seek approval from others, but I can't help but be hurt at disapproval. Of course, her thoughts don't verbalize as the words that come out of her mouth. "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying" Before she can think it through, process the flash of hurt on her face and the way her fingers tense around the last piece of paper, before Ra'jah can really understand the weight of her own words she continues. "But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?"

Their exchanges were in aggressive whispers, hushed to anyone above them. To most people, they'd find a sight of two girls muttering to one another while they pick up some things they've dropped.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" Scarlet huffed, standing up in one swift motion. Those words aren't a compliment. Like, at all. So why does Ra'jah's dumb, twisted heart stop for a second? The implied connection of herself and 'pretty' slows her body and slurs her mind until she's pushing herself up off the ground in slow motion. It's been so many months of mundanity, the small interaction felt all so familiar and foreign and exciting at the same time.But the haziness of her words and their little games makes her forget for a second of what the fuck just happened, and a wave of patheticness washed over her as she started to walk, eyes focused at the cream walls. For all her hemming and hawing, Ra'jah hasn't. Fucking. Changed. 

A rush of everything dives into her guts, a sick adrenaline coated in dread, self loathing and the slight urge to cry, nestling in her stomach like a bird claiming a branch as it's home. Her skin was electric, and she hated to admit she loved it, the thrill of interacting with her, cattiness and all. Imagine feeling this much from fucking bumping into someone? Fingers clenched, nails digging in her own palms at how much she hates her. Intense emotions are a high of their own, and Ra'jah can't help but indulge. The piercing sting of her flesh being pressed in with her nails is intensified as she listens for the faint voice of that lanky girl always accompanying Scarlet. 

"You good Scarlet?"

"Yeah, thanks" She can't look back, but she can't help but wonder- are they hugging? Holding hands? It doesn't- it shouldn't matter to her. The fun amusement pales in comparison to the misery settling in. The realization that she's fighting with Scarlet like they're 16 at the back of English class.

Of all the schools, why'd that girl have to come here? Of all the things to pursue, why the same as herself? Of all the people, why'd it have to be her? Ra'jah didn't have the audacity to explore the last question. What she means, she's not too sure. The only thing in the world she's sure of is that she can't be both New Ra'jah™ and Old Ra'jah™ to different people. The line between the two existences isn't so bold anymore, and painting over the bumps isn't as effective as she'd hoped. 

  ***

  Truth be told, watching herself move around in skirts was one of her favorite things- just about tied with watching others watch her. Maybe that's why she joined cheer in highschool. Especially with the support from (or, lack of thereof) a certain grimacing purple haired girl, a runaway model from a fashion show who wound up wandering this school. She never needed to turn and look, didn't need sight to know there's a burn at her back, nor who it's radiating from. Scarlet always walked with just a bit of a straighter back, just a bit more purpose, and just a bit more stride in her step when her favorite pair of wandering eyes were around. A small part of her always wants to turn around, catch her gaze and watch her frantically look away and pretend she's talking to someone. Or maybe she'll hold it, stare back with just as much intensity. But her wistful attention is enough of an ego boost. The scowl ridden bitch, smile washed away just for her, and yet that's where her attention lied. It made her bite back a smile. 

Scarlet is a pretty thing, and she didn't need constant confirmation to remind her that she's beautiful. She's hot, she knows it, Ra'jah knows it, and Scarlet knows that's all she is to her. A pretty thing. Whatever. She's not important. 

In fear of her brain melting, and/or being fried to a crisp, Scarlet doesn't bother having two classes back to back. Her mental capacity is full, and a nice salad will probably help with that. She's on her way to meet with Yvie for lunch, thinking about their weekend plans, when she takes a misstep and stumbles, all her weight focused in her shoulder which slams against someone else's side.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" the universe is an asshole. May the odds never be in my favor. 

"Maybe watch where you're going" Her sneer is venomous, and the universe has suddenly become just the second biggest asshole. 

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" Ra'jah didn't do anything, a rational voice lectures, but she ignores it the way she's ignoring the taller girls face. Scarlet's grabbing at her papers, avoiding eye contact because that selfish pile of shit on her right takes up enough space as is, and if she looks into her eyes, sees that stupid fucking face this close she might do something bad. Like, in the sense of, punching her. Yeah, she can't look at her or she'll beat her up. Because that's a fight she'd win.  

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" Ra'jah snides, and she needs to drop out before Scarlet gets grey hair from her. 

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try" Her words are about as empty as her own stomach, because she hasn't eaten since last night, and Ra'jah will quit fashion school and become a science engineer before she fails out. 

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Yeah, with the flawless outfit you're wearing that you sure as hell made just because you were bored one night. Your pants could literally be sold as a luxury brand. The girl who started sewing when she a embryo in the womb, you'll fucking fail out.  "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying- But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?" Scarlet looks up, not at Ra'jah but away from the ground, and the urge to yell, hit her, and cry come up at the same time. She wants to scream, get everyone in hearing range to know that Ra'jah is a loser who will amount to nothing. She wants to reach out and choke her. But articulating her anger into words is too much, and she ends up just whispering whatever words are willing to come out as she gets up, not caring if she left any papers behind. 

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" And that's the closest thing to honest Scarlet's said all day. 

In the distance, she sees Yvie walking towards her, so she waits until the freshly dyed green haired girl is caught up beside her. 

"You good Scarlet?" 

"Yeah, thanks" The two walk together, side by side, and Scarlet loops her arm through Yvie's, linking the pair. 

"You know, Scarlie, you should stop wearing heels before you break your ankles"

"Hey!" She giggled, slapping the taller girl's arm in response. "I never fall, people just get in my way" Yvie scoffs, unable to stop the corners of her lips turning up and giving her away, forever endeared by the shorter girl. Scarlet's affection makes her forget that they've only known each other for a month. They reach a set of blue doors, and Yvie opens it, holding it for Scarlet to come through. Her face seems puzzled 

"Are you down to go to Mika's Cafe? I want to get some coffee" 

"Sure, they have nice breakfast sandwiches and omelettes, I'm down" It's only a few minutes away from campus 

"What's on your mind"

"Just like, school stuff. I have to make a dress for creative fashion design, and I'm just thinking about it, and what I wanna do" Would it be tmi to blurt that Ra'jah is insufferable? 

"Cool," Yvie hummed, and spiteful words cycled through Scarlet's head, deciding on what exactly to say, before Yvie beats her to it, whipping her head in some seeming urgency

 "OH by the way, I know you're busy with your project and you're determined on getting in the top 5 and all," 

"Uh huh" 

"Buuuuut, there's a Halloween party this weekend, and I was gonna go with Brooke and her friends but they're not going anymore," Scarlet knows how Yvie feels about Brooke, and to be fair she's only met her a few times in passing, but how someone like Yvie could fall for someone as uptight as the boring blonde is beyond her. She doesn't dare bring up another possibility of why her dorm mate would be avoiding the stoic girl, a possibility involving a particularly hot headed latina glued to the Canadians side. "They decided clubbing downtown would be more fun or whatever," They're outside on the pavement now, and the afternoon breeze graces their skin. It's a welcome environment, and Scarlet slows down her pace to enjoy the air, with Yvie quickly matching her pace. 

"Wouldn't you rather go clubbing though? Like not with Brooke and them but with others," Scarlet is friendly and all, but she swears Yvie is somehow friends with half the school. She sure as hell can find a group to go with.

"I guess, but I want to go to the party," she quiets a little as she continues, "There are some people I want to see there, for fun and stuff"

"Mmmm!" Scarlet widens her eyes, looking at the taller girl with a knowing glare, sprinkled with a teeny bit of judgement. 

"It's kinda lame to go there alone!" 

"No it's not!" 

"Scarls, yeah it is"

"Why do you even care? Wanna impress some girls?" In response, Yvie rolled her eyes so hard Scarlet could practically feel it. 

"'Cause you want me to go to a fun Halloween party by myself? 

"Yes! You could walk up to anyone and there's like an 80% chance you already know them, and a 100% chance you'll become friends anyways" The quirky girl's charm is undeniable, she'll be fine without Scarlet. Yvie gives a defeated sigh

"Seems kinda homophobic" 

"Ugh you know what's actually homophobic? The fact that more people aren't madly in love with me. I'm LITERALLY perfect" The prospect of love feels like it's been dangled infront of her, her whole life. Imagine looking like Scarlet, and never dated before?

"You're right girl, you are" Yvie laughed her deep, hearty cackle and Scarlet wanted to melt a little. 

"Thank you, finally someone with taste" Looking at her outfit, she remembers that the tall girl's taste is kind of debatable, and Scarlet almost wants to say she takes it back

"You think Ra'jah has good taste then?" 

"What?" 

"Also a party seems like the best way to meet more people y'know?" She brushes over her last question, and it's much better that way.

"You know what, whatever 'll go with you" Scarlet agrees so she'll shut up. If she hears her roommate bring up she-who-shall-not-be-named-because-shes-a-stick-in-the-ass anymore she might lose her mind. And, she really doesn't have any other plans for the night so might as well.

 ***

AN: going to be a while for the next chapter bc im busy so here's a lil thing lol xo

***

They weren't supposed to meet here. Weren't supposed to see each other. At least, that's what Scarlet tries to tell herself.

"You are such a fucking pain, oh my god" Scarlet seethed because everything is hazy except the impassive girl standing before her and she can't think straight. Her cold eyes are apathetic and Scarlet wants to implode, like a glass thermostat engulfed in a burning heat where it's not a question of if, but an inevitable when? "Maybe I am arrogant" Her voice was coated in a sickly sweet frustration. She pushed further into Ra'jah's space, the taller girl stiffening at the ever decreasing space between the two. How can she be so still, so unreactive? This is all so amusing to her? Is she having fun, so fucking detached from everything and watching Scarlet crumble? Pretending like she cares about Scarlet past her pretty face? Enjoying her sadistic game? Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her. 

"Maybe I am narcissistic" Their faces were inches apart, and Ra'jah could feel the angry womans hot breathe on her cheek, the pungent smell of alcohol intruding her nose.

"But I'd rather be a confident, arrogant narcissist than whatever kind of sad fuck you are" 

Scarlet growled, and she wanted to breathe fire, burn Ra'jah's existence out of her mind and scream at everything she felt because of her. Except that she sees her, and wants her, wants to hurt her and touch her and without thinking her hands are digging around Ra'jah's waist.

"You are such-" Scarlet was interrupted as the other girl leaned in, framed the shorter girl's face with both her hands, and pressed her lips against Scarlets. Any thoughts or mental functionality she had were put to an abrupt stop. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's been so long, but no time has passed since they were last like this. The plug to her brain was pulled, and it's all static and her bodys done a full 180. Ra'jah's piercing lips are numbing, and her overheated body feels like it's been dunked in ice where all her nerves are all in shock. They weren't supposed to do this anymore, it's the only thing they've ever been able to agree on. She was frozen, unable to move, or think, far too busy being hyper focused on the familiar sugary lips on hers, sending waves of nostalgia through her body. Time has only heighted the intoxication. She gains some composure and surges forward, but Ra'jah's pulling away, opening her mouth to finally say something.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet"

[lindwyrmrelinquished]

So....what are some of your headcanons for Ranbutler?

OHHHHHHHHHH BUDDY, YOU ARE OPENING YOURSELF TO A WHOLE NEW CAN'O'BEANS HERE

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL-

(everything else under the cut because there is a L O T )

Butler's human form is predominant(which unfortunately means he does not have a tail :(), but he can make Ender noises/speak Galactic. He's got a bunch of stims and tics, and making the Ender noises is one of them! He often makes them to fill the silence, or in times of high emotion(positive or negative. just imagine a Butler bouncing on his toes while excited Ender chirps keep coming out of his mouth, or he's rambling about something and half of it is layered with Galactic). Following from that, Butler has something that Billiam calls the "monochrome form". If he's under high levels of stress, whatever dark tint of color is in his right side will start spiking into the left side, making his skin darker(and, if he has enough color in his skin from NOT FUCKING OVERWORKING HIMSELF, it can get dark enough to blend into shadows) and spreading from the little black scales on his neck and cheeks and hands(which are already claws, that's why he wears gloves), and if he's really stressed/pissed, little horns are gonna start poking out of his skull and he's gonna be completely gray/black, his teeth are already deadly but they're gonna get sharper and if you look him in the eyes he will s c r e a m and very likely tear you apart if Billiam isn't there to hold him back/calm him down.

Speaking of! Butler very much dislikes eye contact. It makes them extremely uncomfortable and the Ender part is gonna start screaming to attack attack attack and the pupil-slit thing is gonna happen. Unfortunately, he's frozen by the eye contact and cannot move of his own free will, it's all going to be instinct to either get away or attack, if he moves at all. And the moment the eye contact is broken, he starts to calm down and all the screaming in his head starts to dissipate, so he doesn't really get the chance to consciously act on the Ender side's instinct.

NEXT OF ALL, throwing canon out the window and saying BILLIAM AND BUTLER ARE FOUND-FAMILY. The way they acted in the episode is just that, an act. In reality, they actually Care each other Very Very Much and have adopted each other into their respective hybrid groups(i.e Endermen have their hauntings, Piglins have their sounders{that part's not canon to mc but i yoinked it from a fic}). Hubert jokes about how Billiam accidentally adopted Bu as his son, but both Bu and Bi deny this. Hubert also got Liaria and James in on the joke and now these two are being constantly triple-teamed.

ON THAT NOTE Liaria and James know about the Egg. It happened at the tail end of Bu's first masquerade when they started accusing Billiam of committing all the murders, and Bu kind of panicked and outed himself as the killer, he pulled out the knife and everything. Billiam admitted that he knew about this, and showed them the Egg as explanation. Now Liaria and James willingly give up their bought lives to the Egg on the regular(we might get into the lives thing later{it was also something i yoinked from a fic, and then I gave it more explanation}) to keep Billiam and his family alive, but they're not all that affected by it due to not even being near it half the time.

AND ON THAT NOTE, let's talk about Butler's relationship with the Egg! Bad. It's bad. Absolutely terrible, the two despise each other immensely. I like to say they're the closest thing to caliginous that a teenaged hybrid that lived off spite and an ancient crimson demon can be. The Egg's hurt Bu a lot, and honestly that's part of the reason his contempt and fear for it is so high. But that's also part of the reason why Billiam was pulled out of its influence despite living right above it. Because he cares for Bu, a literal child that's suffered severe mental and physical trauma at the hands(well, vines) of the Egg. Honestly? Billiam wouldn't be the way he is now if he didn't have to take trips to the Nether. Short explanation, too much time away from their home realm gets hybrids really really sick. So, about a few months or so after Bu arrived, he had to yeet back there for a week and just told Butler and Hubert to take care of the mansion. And you know what Hubert did, that bitch? He took advantage of both Billiam's absence and Butler's skill and pampered himself while throwing the entire load onto the child. And then like halfway through the week, he got the idea to introduce said child to the Egg, who before then has had no idea it ever existed aside from the crimson red aura around the mansion(it's a whole thing about Endermen and magic but again, another thing I might get into later). He hadn't even attended a party before then. So, yeah, Hubert just left him down in one of the old cells for three days. Didn't even check on him, that bitch. And then when Billiam game back, suffice to say he was PISSED. He may be a rich bastard who causes murders biweekly, but even he has standards, and hurting a damn 7-8 year old child that bad was not one of them. he can't be held responsible for child labor, bu followed him home by his own choice. again, another whole backstory thing

Bu's genderfluid! He usually switches between he/him and they/them, and the direction he nods is a little indicator of which one(up for gender, down for no), but sometimes he uses she/her. Adding on that, due to Weird Enderman Genetics, he can manipulate his hair to grow real fast and likes to experiment with it in the mornings for Maximum Gender Euphoria This means that one day his hair could be barely touching his neck, and the next it's all the way down to his waist. It's a fun little anomaly and sometimes Billiam likes to play with it when it gets longer :3 travelling on the lgbt train, Bu is also ace/aro! This doesn't have much impact story-wise(usually), but it's just a fun little tidbit :3 On other, more Ender notes, he has pretty much all the traits an Enderman does, even if he looks fully human aside from being 6 inches taller than Sir Billiam himself. With the eye-contact thing, I've got a headcanon that Endermen can kind of read minds to an extent if they look into another entity's eyes, but it gets loud and borderline painful if anything but another Enderman does the same. Meanwhile, Bu's about the perfect mix of an Enderman and a Human(later called Players and Villagers depending on their capabilities) to be able to take at least a few seconds of eye contact. He can also teleport! To about the same extent as Endermen, if not a little less. Unfortunately, spending too much time in the void between teleportations(i.e a few hours for him, though an hour in the void is a minute in reality. It's why teleporting happens in the blink of an eye to anyone but the user) has some adverse effects. Bu's either glitched, gotten some sort of void-sickness like a flu but worse, and/or lost large chunks of memory each of the separate times he stuck himself in there for too long. Pure-blooded Endermen have a longer tolerance, but even they can succumb to the void with enough time.

Bu's also hurt by water, and the first time Billiam really figured this out is when he dragged him to the roof because it was raining and for some reason, Bi really likes the rain. Bu, on the other hand, was hospitalized for a day once Billiam actually realized, "oh, he's burning" Unfortunately, Bu can still produce tears, so he's got some scars on his cheeks and hands from those, Luckily, though! Billiam got him some gloves and a facemask reminiscent of cc!Ranboo to hide those scars because bu's. really self-conscious about them :,D

But also he's got TOE BEANS,

[ahem] So Endermen are basically giant block-holding teleporting cats and no one can convince me very much otherwise. So on the one hand, they have giant hands shaped for holding blocks. On the other hand, T O E B E A N S

So Bu's got beans on the pads of his fingers and feet(which also end in claws with a black gradient because Peak Character Design <3). Billiam likes to hold his hands on the rare occasion he doesn't wear his gloves because mans likes to stim with those toe beans. Meanwhile Billiam himself has nicely-textured hands because of his Piglin hooves and Bu also likes to stim with them, so just. them holding each others hands for mutual stimmage

[ahem] anyway

Bu stims!! He flaps his hands and does thing really rapidly and harshly when he's really high-strung, which doesn't happen often, at least in front of people. Boy's got anxiety so he's had his fair share of panic attacks :,D he just knows how to disguise them so people don't see, but Billiam knows the signs at this point. But he also has a lot of vocal stims/tics, mainly lots of Enderman noises, some popping and a little screechy thing here and there. Sometimes he picks up a sound and then repeats it a whole bunch because it feels nice on the tongue :] there's also these poofs of particles that happen when he's happy, they look like mini purple fireworks and they're like an expulsion of magic, he can feel when they happen and it feels nice :]

(cw for self-harm in this paragraph and the followed copy-pasted convo)

[ahemhemhem] So y'know how Butler's an Ender-hybrid? His hands and feet reflect that(along with the ears, the eyes, the height, the abilities, but we're talking about about the hands here). Part of why he keeps those gloves on almost 24/7 is to dull his claws, which are not so much an intentional danger to others rather than an unintentional danger to himself. He's got tics and stims and is very neurodivergent and has anxiety(me projecting? noooo /hj), so he gets very nervous very easily. And one of his nervous habits rather than wringing his hands, fidgeting, and (if really bad)a heightened amount of tics, he tends to scratch at his arms. His claws can tear through the fabric easily, and more than one or two suits have been sent back to the tailors for repairs to the sleeves. However, having both padded sleeves and padded gloves nullifies that, so he always wears them special-made. If he didn't have that habit, he likely wouldn't have the gloves on as often as he does.

Friend Hey good headcanons 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Also ohhhh my god Billiam fussing over him and his gloves until he gets them to be the right amount of padded where Bu can still do things but also not hurt himself

Me gbfhdgbhgsfhbgsfdhdf He keeps examining them every time the tailors try but it doesn't feel right until That Specific Try so he just plops the gloves back on the counter and says "Do it again"

Friend They spend an entire day doing nothing but making gloves while Billiam & Hubert take turns watching Butler to make sure he stays safe

Me Absolutely Problem is Butler can feel eyes on him. And eyes make him nervous :,) so when he gets nervous. he starts to scratch at his arms again and anxiety is too much for him to ask them to stop watching him

Friend It ends up with them just having to hold his hands, looking at random things (they can go sit on the balcony or something so they have something pretty to look at)

Me That hold on actually that's adorable-

Friend Fhhdjdjdjsjsj they're friends your honor

Me Absolutely Even Hubert contributes to keeping him safe. And Hubert's afraid of even being near Butler

Friend And then we get bonding via the oh no Billiam is busy and Hubert has to take care of Bu for the next 3 hours

Me GHDSFGSHFGS THAT IS A GREAT IDEA Butler insists he can do everything himself, nothing's different about the routine, and then he has a mental breakdown when he tries to make food without anyone else in the kitchen- Cause usually Hubert's there, even if he's making something else. There's at least another presence, and that's the sort of thing that's calming for Bu. But Hubert's off setting up the table for lunch/dinner or something and Butler makes One minor slip-up and spirals from there until he's struggling even handling spice mixing The same thing happened with cookies one time, and both times Hubert found him borderline unable to function because he panicked too much and helped him out of it.

Friend Butler is just curled up in the kitchen, trying to have a quiet panic attack because he can't cause the others any more trouble than he already is, and Hubert is very quietly upset about helping him because he was doing so good at avoiding Bu but here he is again being the only thing that's letting this kid breathe

Me Absolutely

Friend Do you think Bu passes out on him? Like Hubert (probably reluctantly) gives Butler a hug cause those help, and Bu was just supposed to stay there until he felt better, but panic attacks are exhausting and he fell asleep at some point-

Me Oh my gods he would though, especially with the amount of sleep he gets He'd have to try so hard to even stay conscious, much less do things in the manner he usually does, and Hubert just quietly tells him that it's okay to sleep; he'll take care of everything. Hu never forgets that of course Bu's always in danger around him - he has fleeting thoughts and quite often knows how to act on them - but he stands up holding an exhausted child and takes him to his room so he can rest. Butler may want him to stay; Endermen usually want someone around when sleeping. It's the security of having someone watch for nightmares, but Hubert doesn't stay. He has to go back to the kitchen and finish that meal Bu was making. But if he's still asleep by the time Hu's done with everything, he might linger outside his door, listening in for anything bad.

(Okay the cw is over now, you may now go back to your regularly scheduled content :,D)

Also, one last thing: Billiam gives Butler a bunch of gold things(including the masquerade mask) because that's what Piglins do with their sounders, they cover them in gold to show they care. And after Bu finding out the reason why Billiam's been handing off a bunch of gold things to him he does not cry, because that would hurt his face, but he does feel quite a lot of things that make him want to because holy shit Billiam feels the same

Butler is Billiam's sounder and Billiam is Butler's haunting, they are family your honor

[the-genesis-caveat]

I would love to hear about your au where grimdog is possessing the boatem hole

>:D

(under the cut cause kinda long but thanks for giving me an excuse to write down most of what i have so far!)

SO. so. i'm gonna do a little bit of stretching of canon because of course i am.

y'know how grimdog's soul ended up in iskall's possession at the end of demise? in the form of i believe a wither skull (might've just been grimdog's head tho i can't remember). well. WELL. in this au, welsknight stumbles across it before he's found by cubfan and brought to season 7. he kinda just pockets it but it's lost in the void between worlds, since items don't carry over server to server.

now, grimdog is a reaper. i have no trouble believing he could exist in some capacity in the void. so he's just kinda floating there for a hot minute, barely existing, probably not conscious.

then third life happens. and what draws a reaper other than death?

scar's first death is what originally pulls him to the world. he follows the events closely, learning about this server, this game so similar to demise. he watches to the very end, hidden amongst the spectators during the final battle.

watches the creator of demise win the game.

grian's death is symbolic, meant to end the game for good. grimdog knows the server has run it's course. so he latches onto the last man standing and follows him through the void.

he wakes up in a boat.

a boat sitting atop a strange tower of other boats and random blocks.

a boatem pole perched over a hole that goes all the way down into the void.

grimdog doesn't know why he's stuck at the boatem hole until scar falls in, and the void claims his soul. grimdog claims his soul. the sacrifices of lives and items were enough to tie the reaper to this place.

well, who is he to pass up an opportunity like this?

as boatem grows around him, grimdog grows more and more powerful the more 'sacrifices' there are to the boatem hole. his reach extends further- he discovers he can attach himself to hermits for a short time after they've died. longer if they died to the void. as time passes, this ability gets stronger as well. soon he can latch onto any hermit who has died within the span of a few days, and stick to them for quite some time.

he learns a lot about the server.

he also learns about evil x.

grimdog knows a thing or two about possession. and he does not like what evil x has done to xisuma one bit.

he can't do anything about it yet- he's not powerful enough to even be visible to the other hermits (though ren seems to be able to sense his presence somewhat, and grian can almost hear him).

but one day, evil x will get what's coming to him. a reaper's justice is swift. and unforgiving.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 78

[Date: 15/03, 6:11 AM GMT - 15/03, 7:13 AM GMT]

Marcus: “...

it's been an interesting few days, I suppose

i've been catching up and um

not entirely sure how I feel about all this

everyone's asleep

guess that makes sense”

dreaming: “im awake.. uh sorry if im interrupting or anything..”

Marcus: “not at all!”

dreaming: “okay!”

Marcus: “it's nice to have company late at night

at least..conscious company”

dreaming: “yeah...”

emuhlee: “are you doing alright, marcus? a lot went on, and i'm sure it's a lot to take in”

Marcus: “...

i don't like that she's taking notes on max

i don't like that she's been taken at all, really”

dreaming: “i agree..”

Marcus: “...the laurels

i...can't help but feel that it's my fault

if i'd never taken off my circlet... he wouldn't feel the need to make something more permanent”

dreaming: “it isn't your fault.. you weren't even at the trial...

and it was crown's decision. nobody elses”

emuhlee: “whatever he decides on his own is not your fault”

Marcus: “...”

dreaming: “look we can't change the past.. we got to focus on the future, like.. getting out those who still only have a circlet..”

Marcus: “....

i guess you're right

but

what about Syd?”

dreaming: “we’ll try our hardest

i hope there's a way..

there's got to be something that'll at least make it stop for a bit...

i just hope so..”

Marcus: “I'm worried for them... all of them”

dreaming: “me too..”

Marcus: “I... feel bad about what I did to him too

he didn't deserve to be pushed in the river”

dreaming: “he didn't but there wasn't really.. another option”

Marcus: “i could've just

ran away

...

right?”

dreaming: “we know he could've catched up”

emuhlee: “without that he probably wouldve caught up to you”

Marcus: “...he still didn't deserve it”

dreaming: “you did what you had to as much as crown mightve not deserved it”

emuhlee: “maybe not, but you did what you had to to be safe”

Marcus: “I don't know”

emuhlee: “I understand why you feel bad about it, but if you didn't he could've caught up to you and max.

it might suck to think about but you did what was best at the time given the circumstances.”

Marcus: “..Max was further ahead of me, he would have been fine”

dreaming: “you wouldn't have been.. and we all want you safe.

we all want you to be okay”

Marcus: “i don't... i don't know max

i don't know fetch

or mona

I knew Page and Knight

they’re

they're so different

...but i still care about them

why else would i be staying up all night?

i can't sleep when they sleep”

dreaming: “maybe you don't exactly know them but you're still allowed to care.. i don't really know anyone well here but i still care.

i hope that's.. understandable?”

Marcus: “it.. is

i just don't get why i'm so upset at the difference”

dreaming: “it's okay to be upset, it's okay to miss them.”

Marcus: “i look at them and I see page and knight

because that's how i knew them

but that's not who they are

they aren't happy that way”

dreaming: “i can understand that.. i saw page and knight as max and fetch.. as much as you're valid in your feelings they're still going to be well them. even if they're not the people you knew..”

Marcus: “it makes me wonder...

if he changes how we think so that we're happier

what do fetch and max dislike about themselves so much

that they act like children when they're knight and page”

dreaming: “i don't know..”

emuhlee: “that's... a good question.”

dreaming: “bad things happen.. they change our perceptions of ourselves and not always im a good way...”

Marcus: “....i know that i'm not happy now

not as happy as I was

maybe content is the better word

but

.....i don't like dealing with all of these negative emotions

it's been so long since i've had to”

dreaming: “i know it sucks to deal with that.. but we all go through hardships, feel negative emotions.. if we never felt negatively we'd just be stuck in one place...”

Marcus: “...

negativity is so draining”

dreaming: “it is..”

emuhlee: “yeah,, it is”

dreaming: “but if we were always happy, content with what we have would we ever have the drive to learn more? to see more? i don't even really understand what im saying.. heh”

Maxwell: “....no....syd.....leave her alone.....”

Marcus: “...

negativity” 

dreaming: “max..?”

Marcus: “is so draining”

dreaming: “I know”

Marcus: “...he's talking in his sleep again”

dreaming: “...

negativity is draining i know.. but it'll be alright someday. it will, at least i hope so.”

Marcus: “nightmares...

page never had nightmares 

but now

max has them almost every night”

dreaming: “max's been through a lot.. page got his memory wiped of anything that would cause them i would think..”

Marcus: “..that was kind of the point in the memory wiping”

dreaming: “yeah..

i wonder why.. page or knight couldn't remember anything but you could...”

Marcus: “.......don't tell them

I'm...

the longer i spend away from it all

the less I remember

i.. barely remember what my comfort room looked like”

dreaming: “..i won't tell anyone... honestly it makes sense you might start forgetting, it was you but it also.. wasn't? to an extent”

Marcus: “..i knew more than they did while we were there

i don't know why

i don't remember”

dreaming: “maybe it's because you had more good experiences before joining the court..”

Marcus: “......

...

..i wouldn't say that”

dreaming: “okay i won't again.”

Marcus: “no no

i wasn't.. telling you

I just”

dreaming: “okay.”

Marcus: “wouldn't describe my past as....pleasant”

dreaming: “okay.. maybe the reason why they didn't remember is because of how much they opposed the court?

y’know”

Marcus: “maybe

they weren't there for that long... were they?”

Marcus: “as far as i knew, max was only there for... a little over two weeks”

dreaming: “nope.. i remember both of them already disliked the court a lot though.. if that's what you meant..”

Marcus: “but

apparently max was gone for much longer than two weeks”

dreaming: “yep..

right when crown took chat he appeared for like.. two minutes?

I think”

Marcus: “...that was deliberate

i think”

dreaming: “probably..”

Marcus: “given the..deal Chat made

i can't”

dreaming: “yeah..”

Marcus: “i can't remember the details

i dont think max was back by accident though”

dreaming: “that's alright..

and yeah max probably wasn't looking back on it..”

Marcus: “...

it’s so

difficult

i didn't have problems sleeping before”

dreaming: “i would assume so..”

Marcus: “but i can't sleep at night

i worry about them too much”

dreaming: “it's okay to worry.. you should try to sleep though...”

Marcus: “i don't want to be..useless

if i”

dreaming: “you aren't useless for resting”

Marcus: “if i'm asleep, i can't help them”

dreaming: “you won't be able to help them if you're too exhausted from not resting to help.”

Marcus: “....

i can rest when someone else wakes up

that's”

dreaming: “okay.”

Marcus: “what i've been doing

although

i did burn my elbow earlier because of how little i've slept”

dreaming: “you should probably sleep more then, if you can't sleep when others are maybe talk to them about it and work out something so you can rest properly.”

Marcus: “i'd rather not inconvenience them...”

dreaming: “it isn't inconveniencing to ask for help”

Marcus: “.....”

dreaming: “look, if i was theoretically there i'd help.

but y'know. im not”

Marcus: “..I know

i just..don't want to worry anymore”

dreaming: “it's probably going to end up worrying them anyways if you keep doing this.”

Marcus: “...they seem fine with my day time naps

even if they only last an hour”

dreaming: “that's good.. im glad you're sleeping even if it's not as much as you should”

Marcus: “...waking up again is the hard part.

i'm either suddenly awake due to a nightmare

or i'm suddenly awake due to anxiety”

dreaming: “..i'm sorry”

Marcus: “.....”

dreaming: “that that's happening..”

Marcus: “you don't

you dont have anything to be sorry for?

i dont understand”

dreaming: “yeah i know.. i just have a habit...”

i'll try not to do it as much..”

Marcus: “...many of you have a habit of apologizing for things you didn't do

you don't have to change how you act

i guess i'm a bit of a hypocrite” 

dreaming: “yeah.. im kind of one too. im telling you to sleep while i'm definitely staying up to late just to get some time to myself i guess..”

Marcus: “the quiet is nice”

dreaming: “it is”

Marcus: “...max is having another nightmare, i'm going to go try and calm him down

i hope you have a good rest of your night

maybe..try to sleep if you can”

dreaming: “okay.. you too marcus.. and ill try...”

Marcus: “hmm i'd like to send a smile but i'd rather not concern anyone with the connotations....

oh, i'll do what fetch does

:]”

dreaming: “:]”

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hii! Yeah don't worry about it! Live your life, the internet people can wait, I know I appreciate you taking the time to reply, no matter how long it takes! 👍✨

Oh cool! France and LA that must've been fun, have always wanted to go to those places. Will get around to it eventually. I've lived in Brazil, Canada, and now Portugal, but I've also visited Orlando (Disneyland) and Miami in the US. Hoping I can go to Spain next year to visit my best friend too.

What did you say that got people making fun of you? haha Which fic did you insert that in? The only reason I cheat while playing games is bc I get bored easily so I have to add a little bit of spice hahaha and my morals are questionable I guess. 🤷‍♀️ My mbti is the architect (INTJ-T) so I guess that explains things a bit (?). Do you know your mbti? Omg your poor roommate hahaha I mean that's the best kind of winner to be, humble winners are boring as hell lol

Aren't you glad you had those drunken experiences when you were younger instead of now tho? I can't promise I'll never do stuff like that again but I'm fine with it being behind me for now hahaha. Omg you're totally right on the accent thing, hadn't thought about it that way!

What!! You should watch Stranger Things with her! It's sooo good, it's a guaranteed fun time for you two. My favourite episodes of thobm are 4 and 6 too, I like epi 9 only up until Dani's bathtub incident.

I like doing accents too but only to myself bc I'm too self-conscious haha Although I pick up accents really easily it's kinda embarrassing, sometimes people think I'm mocking them. Do people get offended when you try to do their accents? 😂 I got a scholarship at a british english school in my home country when I was a kid so I had an RP accent growing up but ended up with a generic American accent after watching too many American movies and TV shows. Sometimes it comes out generic Canadian too haha. Nordern English accent became my favourite tho after watching Billy Elliott when I was a teen!

Awwh gee thanks! I'm happy you liked my damie fan art! Didn't know you already started writing for medieval AU, makes sense people already thought to send you prompts for it, it's a really cool universe! Looking forward to updates on all your WIPS, love them all! Take your time if you need tho!

Sounds like a really fun weekend! Yeah I know what you mean, don't worry we won't tell them you have a favourite haha. Congrats on coming second on that game of crazy golf! 🎉 and thank you, I will!

Awwh thank you for understanding!! I'll always reply to people's comments eventually it just takes longer sometimes, but I will always get around to it eventually!! France was fun I went to Disney Land Paris and shared a hotel room with my roommate (yes she was on the trip too because she was in another photography class... we have been friends for so long now) it was honestly a lot of fun and I went to LA to visit my ex-girlfriend while we were still together it was a long distance relationship and I went out to LA and my roommate was invited too so we had a trip out there and had a great time I would 100% go back to LA some time!! So jealous that you've lived in Canada that's one place I really wanna go I would love to live there it looks like such a beautiful country!! I would love to go to Orlando and Miami... I wanna see all 50 states eventually if I can... so far I've seen one so only 49 to go haha!! Awwh I really hope you can get out to Spain to see your best friend!! Which is your favourite place you have visited so far? Okay so... the thing I said is in Can't Buy Me Love and it's a bit of a long story so I'll shorten it down here, but basically a group of us were talking about myths and things and I mentioned the myth of being able to see the Great Wall of china from the moon (you can't) and to add to the myth as a buster I genuinely said "Well that's the thing, people say you can see the Great Wall of China from the moon... but can you see the moon from the Great Wall of China?" and it took a good five minutes of people telling me you could see it from my house and just about anywhere else to realise that, if the moon is out, and it's a clear night, and you're y'know facing the moon... you can pretty much see it anywhere... but that's what people still mock me about... that I asked if you can see the moon from the Great Wall of China... so I put that in CBML and had it as a story Dani tells Jamie. Haha I love your reason for cheating and think it's as good as a reason as any haha!! I do know my mbti... mine is the campaigner...EFNP-T... I don't know what these mean either I read it a while ago but forgot what it meant I just know what I am haha... oh yeah she's had a lot to put up with so she just won't play games with me anymore... oh yeah I agree humble winners are okay but I do like a good bit of bragging when you win a game I am glad yeah... although the road sign incident was only... 3 years ago haha like I would like to say I was a lot younger then but I wasn't haha the black out incident I was though... I can't drink much anymore though because of medication I'm on (life long medication) so I can have maybe one or two drinks and that's it so I can't do things like that again which is probably a good thing really!! Haha best way to be don't make promises like that because that is a sure fire way to definitely do it again the second you make that promise the opportunity to do it again will show itself haha!! Yeah Jamie just has no accent to me like she just talks like most people I know it's only when I saw people talking about it that I realised to some people the Northern accent is exactly that... an accent haha I LOVE episode 9 for me 4,6, and 8 are a joint favourite like I can't pick between them and then it's episode 9 because I do love it and I love seeing them be that happy for the first part of the episode but then it just gets so sad and I can't take it!! I do accents all the time around anyone even though I am terrible at them haha... nah people don't ever get offended they just sort of smile and shake their heads at me... some people have asked me to do their accent before but I mean, I am sure eventually someone will be offended there's a first time for everything... I just have an accent that's really similar to Jamie's it's not the exact same but it's very close I love that you've had so many accents for so many reasons... omg yeah the accent on Billy Elliot is my favourite accent ever, it is a northern accent but it's from a city called New Castle which is SO different to some

other northern accents... it's the Geordie accent and it's just beautiful I could honestly listen to people from New Castle talk for hours- people from South Shields also sound like that (SS is really close to New Castle) I can see why that accent is your favourite I wish I talked like that I loved that fan art I thought it was amazing!! Yeah I haven't written much of it but I have some of it written and when I say some I mean I have like 4 different scenes written from different points of the fic and each scene is only like 1k words so far!! It's such a cool universe and I am so happy people have sent me prompts for it!! Awwh thank you so much I'm glad you're looking forward to the updates of my WIPs that really means a lot to me!! I've had a great weekend but I am so tired now totally and utterly done after the weekend I've had haha... I wouldn't say I have favourites I have just spent more time with one niece than the other because since she was really young I've looked after her while her parents have been at work and I've had breaks from work / college / university so I have spent so much time with her and she's turning into a little mini me with some stuff she does but I love all my nieces and nephews the same (and I have so many nieces and nephews haha) Awwh thank you!! I appreciate that, still feeling really proud of my second place in crazy golf haha!! and you're welcome!! ☺️

[djappleblush]

A night of mishaps (Born Again fanfic)

So let's just pretend that while Soo Hyuk, Sa Bin, and their team were investigating the Donggang mummy case, there were a lot more encounters that had occured between our #FormalinCouple. Their relationship deserves so much more good angst and development, y'know. This fic happened between the car accident scene and Sa Bin's experimental kiss. Here goes:

Jung Sa Bin examined herself in the mirror one more time and signed.

She was currently in her private suite in the NFS dressed in a black mini dress. She had just come from a party earlier that night that the Seoyeon univerty arranged in a hotel for the new professors, and since she was the newest addition to the staff, not to mention the youngest, her presence had been highly expected.

Sa Bin had been more than ready to throw away her heels and call it a night, but she had been called on an emergency at NFS that she could only groan to herself in frustration. There goes her plan for an early bedtime.

She had taken a deep breath and ignored the throbbing on her feet, and then she had walked straight up to her department head and excused herself, then exited the banquet hall in a hurry and went out to hail a cab that took her directly to her lab. It was already halfway through the NFS that she'd realized she left her coat in her seat. Sa Bin had closed her eyes tightly in utter frustration and screamed in her head. Now she had to walk around in nothing but her dress in the cold weather.

When she'd arrived at the NFS, Sa Bin had gotten off the cab and entered the building with her head bowed. She'd ignored the stares she received and almost run to her private suite. She'd run into Seo Young down the hallways and her colleague had looked at her and smiled apologetically. "You look like you were having fun tonight. Too bad we ruined it."

Sa Bin then felt her feet protest in her heels. She was about to assure her that she was more than glad to have escaped the party but decided against it. Instead she only nodded and smiled back. "It's no problem at all."

Sa Bin had headed to her suite to change, but stopped on her tracks at the door when she'd realized with a gasp that she had also forgotten to bring a change of clothes and shoes.

Now she was there in front of her mirror, looking at herself and wondering how she could be so stupid. For a minute, Sa Bin berated herself for being so forgetful before something in the corner of her eye caught her attention. Turning her head, she saw her white coat hanging on the rack. She stared at it as though it was the first time she'd ever seen it and that's when an idea struck her, making her smile.

Finally, Sa Bin put on her white lab coat and secured the buttons closed, before marching towards the autopsy room feeling quite proud of her ingenuity. A moment later, she was joined by Seo Young and they quickly set to work.

‐----------------

Kim Soo Hyuk was not in the best of moods, as he had been in the past couple of weeks since he took on the Donggang mummy case. His irritation was partly because of how messy the case had been, but the main cause of his ire was no other than a particularly well-meaning but headstrong woman at the NFS: Jung Sa Bin.

The woman actually had the gall to oppose him. Had the circumstances of their meeting been different, he could have admired her spunk, but not when she was directly making his life harder.

Soo Hyuk narrowed his eyes as he caught sight of the NFS building just a block away. He made up his mind to get her to work with him no matter what as he sped his car toward his destination.

-----------------

Sa Bin was busily engrossed in proofreading her finished report in front of the computer when she heard Seo Young's phone went off. Her colleague answered the call. Sa Bin didn't let that distract her and went back to her task, eager to finish so she could finally go home and get rid of her heels and makeup.

That was until Seo Young hung up the phone and abruptly turned to her. "Sa Bin-ah, Prosecutor Kim will be joining us in a short while."

That made Sa Bin turn her attention to Seo Young. For some odd reason, just the mention of the Prosecutor's name made her heartbeat erratic. She had been in an argument with the man in the few times they had met, and she knew she could take him head on despite his domineering nature. But lately, specially after their last encounter in the hospital when he saved her life from the car accident, Sa Bin found herself getting nervous just by thinking about the Prosecutor or just by hearing his name. It had never happened to her before and she was afraid to contemplate why she felt that way. Sa Bin swallowed and carefully hid her sudden nervousness with a blank expression.

"Prosecutor Kim?" She repeated, unable to keep the strain from her voice. "What business does he have here?"

"He has some documents to pick up. He'd asked me to prepare them in advance. Also..." here, Seo Young stared at her that made her insides squirm.

Sa Bin blinked. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Well," she began cautiously. "Prosecutor Kim mentioned about wanting to discuss something with you."

She was about to clarify what that meant when the glass doors opened and Kim Soo Hyuk himself came strutting in, wearing his pinstriped suit and that silent but palpable confidence of him that made him as intimidating as he had looked the very first time she saw him.

The Prosecutor's piercing eyes zeroed in on hers and they locked gazes for a few seconds, before he looked away and turned them on Seo Young.

"Prosecutor Kim," Seo Young acknowledged in a cordial manner, while Sa Bin only stayed silent as she slowly turned away and unconsciously tightened her lab coat around herself. The rhythm of her heartbeat had doubled and it was so loud she became afraid the two would hear it. She pretended to study the bones neatly laid across the autopsy table, trying to calm herself while wondering what's happening to her.

"Did you prepare the documents, Professor Yoo?" Sa Bin heard Soo Hyuk asking, his voice uniquely deep and masculine.

"Yes, I did." Seo Young answered. "Wait here a moment. I'll get them from my office."

Oh, gods. Sa Bin silently screamed when she heard Seo Young walk out. She knew her colleague did that on purpose to give her and the Prosecutor some privacy. She wasn't ready to face him, nor be alone with him! She fought the panic that threatened to engulf her. What could the Prosecutor possibly want to discuss with her?

Just then, Sa Bin gasped audibly in surprise and backed away when she felt a presence behind her. Turning, Sa Bin saw that Soo Hyuk was now only a few meters away from her, his eyes boring on her widened ones.

"What are you doing?" She almost shrieked.

Soo Hyuk furrowed a brow and cocked his head to the side. "You seemed so busy it looked like you didn't even notice I'm in the room." He stated matter-of-factly, though his eyes hinted that they both knew it wasn't the case.

Soo Hyuk suddenly looked her up and down, an unreadable expression on his face.

Sa Bin felt extremely conscious when she remembered how she looked that night. Discreetly, she looked down to see if her lab coat had opened to reveal her minidress. She signed inwardly in relief when she saw that nothing was amiss.

Sa Bin waited for him to say something. After all, she looked so different that night, with full makeup on and her hair tied behind her back with matching dangling earrings. Not that she was looking for a compliment from him, of course, since Soo Hyuk didn't look like the type to give one. But surely he noticed her unsual appearance and was bound to comment on it.

Sa Bin was disappointed, however, when Soo Hyuk spoke about something entirely different from what she was expecting.

"Any developments on the Donggang mummy case?" Though his tone was businesslike, his words held a deeper meaning.

This wasn't lost on Sa Bin who raised her chin and met his eyes, completely forgetting that just a second ago, she unconsciously wanted to get a compliment out of him. "I have nothing more to say to you, Prosecutor Kim. I know you told Professor Yoo that you want to discuss something with me, but if it has anything to do with making me cooperate with your illegal dealings, then you're just wasting your time."

Sa Bin was quite proud of how steady her voice had sounded despite her nerves going haywire. She expected the Prosecutor to snap at her in anger, but instead he only stared at her as though he was searching her face for something. And then he smirked, which unnerved her even more.

"I don't usually go about scaring women, ms. Jung Sa Bin, but you might just be an exemption."

Sa Bin's eyes narrowed. "And you think you can scare me?" She challenged. "You think so highly of yourself, Prosecutor Kim."

"Perhaps," Soo Hyuk drawled, his eyes glinting with dark intent. "Either way, you'll cooperate with me."

"What are you planning to do?" She asked in sudden alarm, unable to stop herself.

"We'll see." He was starting to walk away when she stopped him with her words.

"Would you.... would you really resort to something like that if I didn't cooperate?" She didn't mean to, but her voice lost its strength and instead came out vulnerable. Unbeknownst to her, it struck something primal in Soo Hyuk.

Once again, the two locked eyes and Sa Bin felt as though her heart would burst, specially when Soo Hyuk inched a little more closer than she was comfortable with. She fought the instinct to take a step back when he was finally within her personal space. His mere presence seemed to have enveloped all of her senses, tickling her nostrils with his clean and exquisitely masculine scent that seemed to have ingrained itself in her subconscious.

Sa Bin snapped out of her reverie and noticed that Soo Hyuk's eyes were no longer mocking, but had a strange emotion in them. It made her breath catch in her throat. If she didn't know any better, she would have mistaken it for tenderness. But it couldn't be.

"I admit, ms. Sa Bin," She was startled to hear his voice again, now low and sounded much like a caress. "I do enjoy scaring people, but I'm not looking forward to doing that to you."

Sa Bin's lips parted in part shock and part wonderment, all of which were painfully apparent on her face and Soo Hyuk was staring at it in silent scrutiny.

"Then... you do know I can't just-"

"So don't give me a reason to." He interrupted.

Sa Bin was at a loss for words. She was too busy staring at those dark, deep eyes of his that seemed to speak into her very soul, and it didn't help that Soo Hyuk appeared to be doing the same. She was just about to speak when the door opened again, and Soo Hyuk nonchalantly stepped away from her as Seo Young entered.

Sa Bin let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding. She watched Seo Young walk over to Soo Hyuk and hand him some folders, unaware of the tension that had transpired between them.

"I have already included the latest updates in these documents," Seo Young said. "Just call me if you have any more questions."

Soo Hyuk gave a curt nod in response.

Seo Young turned to the silent Sa Bin. "Sa Bin-ah, are you done with the report?"

Sa Bin clenched her fists in an attempt to silence her thundering heart. "Ah, yes. I am." She answered absent-mindedly.

"Then we'll call it a night. See you tomorrow?"

"Ah, yes, see you tomorrow." Sa Bin wanted to bang her head on the table for being so conscious of Soo Hyuk's presence. She stole a quick glance at the man to see if he noticed her inner struggle. She almost recoiled in shock when she discovered he was indeed looking at her. She decided it would be best if she left already to prevent humiliating herself further.

Crossing her arms tightly around her chest, Sa Bin muttered a quick "good bye to both of you," before scurrying out of the autopsy room as though she was being hounded.

-----------------

Soo Hyuk watched in grim amusement as Sa Bin practically ran out the autopsy room. He could tell that she had been intimidated by his subtle threat, and instead of feeling elated about it as he had wanted to, it surprisingly brought a bitter pang within him.

Sa Bin was just as stubborn and headstrong as he was. The last thing Soo Hyuk expected from her was to fear him. For some reason, when she did, a strong urge to wipe it off of her had compelled him into action. He couldn't believe he had acted against his own nature and actually offered her an indirect reprieve from his threat. He had to suppress a sign from escaping him as he remembered what he had done. He would never admit to it, but something inside of him rebelled at the thought that Sa Bin's fear would make her distance herself from him. He told himself he needed her because of her knowledge of the case they were both working on and nothing else. But something was still nagging at the back of his mind.

Damn, Soo Hyuk grumbled. How can she affect me like this even when she's not in front of me? That stubborn woman!

Yoo Seo Young's voice brought him out of his musings.

"I'll go ahead, Prosecutor Kim. I still have to straighten some things out in my office."

"Yes, go ahead." He answered, and the professor bowed and walked out.

Soo Hyuk followed suit and headed down toward the basement parking lot, his mind filled with the day's events and of one, specific woman.

---------------------

Sa Bin slowly walked out of the NFS building on her heels and white lab coat. She knew she looked silly with the lab coat on but she'd rather go home in it than just her dress and no protective shield for the cold at all.

When Sa Bin reached the sidewalk, the streets were already dark and empty. Well, good. No one would see her walking around in her special coat.

Sa Bin pulled out her phone to check the time. It was already one fifteen in the morning. Only a few cars were on the road. She decided to walk a few blocks away from the NFS building to wait for a taxi in case Seo Young or worse, Prosecutor Kim, drive by and risk spotting her.

As Sa Bin kept on walking, she couldn't stop wincing. Her feet felt like they were on fire from wearing her heels all day. She approached a lamp post and leaned on it while bending a little to massage her aching calf. Suddenly, her stomach growled.

Great! She sulked as she straightened and wrapped her arms around her middle. Not only are my feet hurting, I'm tired and hungry, too. When will this misery end?

She jumped in shock when a loud beep suddenly reverberated in the night. Sa Bin quickly snapped her head to the direction of the sound and she paled considerably when she noticed a familiar car parked across from where she stood.

Oh, god, please. What have I done to deserve this?

Sa Bin's face was set in a kind of grimace when the window at the passenger seat of the car rolled down and it revealed Kim Soo Hyuk's face.

"Where is the excavation site?"

"What?" She squeaked in confusion.

"You're still wearing your lab coat I thought you're on your way to another excavation. Is out here the extension of your lab, ms. Jung Sa Bin?" Soo Hyuk said mockingly.

Sa Bin gritted her teeth at him as her cheeks reddened. "What do you care, mr. Prosecutor?" If he thought she'd give him an explanation for the lab coat, he had another thing coming. "Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"Get in." He ordered.

Sa Bin froze and stared at him. "What?" She asked dumbly.

The Prosecutor threw her a pointed look. "Get in, ms. Jung Sa Bin. It'll take you at least an hour to wait for a taxi this late."

"Thank you, but I'd rather wait that long." She answered smugly.

"Yes, and do you know how many women had been kidnapped and murdered within that time frame waiting out here on a deserted street in a week?"

"That's not going to work on me, you know." She said despite feeling a bit of fear about that information.

"Didn't your feet hurt?"

She gasped at his sudden change of tactic. "How did- wait, were you watching me?" She asked incredulously.

"For five minutes. I could already tell your feet were about ready to give up."

Sa Bin was blushing furiously. "Excuse me-"

"You're wasting my time. Get in before I drag you."

"Alright, I'm getting in." Now Sa Bin didn't relent because she was afraid of getting dragged - although she knew full well that by the look on Soo Hyuk's face, it wouldn't be above him to follow through with his threat. The truth was that in spite of herself and her nervousness around the man, she felt safe in his company. Prosecutor Kim Soo Hyuk exuded the aura of a very capable and dependable man.

Sa Bin pulled open the car door on the passenger side and settled back on her seat comfortably. The way she sunk on the soft upholstery almost made her purr in delight, specially how she could finally relax her aching back and legs. She could now see how stupid she would have been if she'd refused Soo Hyuk's offer. She closed her eyes in utter contentment.

After some time, she couldn't still feel any movement from the man beside her, so Sa Bin opened her eyes to look at Soo Hyuk, who she caught staring at her unabashedly. Sa Bin felt her cheeks burn and her heartbeat became erratic again.

"Yah! What's the matter?" She asked in mock anger to hide her feelings.

"You forgot to buckle up." Soo Hyuk answered dryly.

"Oh. Uhm, sorry."

--------------------

As Sa Bin twisted to the side to reach for her seatbelt, Soo Hyuk readied to step on the accelerator, but a flash of white in the corner of his eye made him turn his attention back to Sa Bin again.

It was then he realized that the flash he spotted was actually Sa Bin's creamy, white thighs that had been revealed when the hem of her lab coat had ridden up because of her movement.

Cursing silently, Soo Hyuk immediately straightened up and averted his gaze as his hands instinctively tightened on the steering wheel while he fought to banish the images that had suddenly popped in his head.

He willed himself to focus on the road as he drove on. Why Sa Bin was wearing that white lab coat of hers outside NFS he would never know, and he'd rather be struck with lightning than show her a sliver of his dying curiosity, specially about why she was looking so exceptional tonight. Did she go on a date earlier that evening?

Of course, he had noticed her unusual attire since back in the autopsy room, and he admit Sa Bin was a beautiful woman. When he'd arrived at NFS, he didn't expect to see her looking more radiant than he'd ever seen her before. Her delicately soft and smooth facial features that had been tastefully accentuated by her makeup and tied hair, along with the image of her long, shapely legs beneath the hem of her lab coat and her dainty feet encased in black stilettos had been seared deep in his memory that he was sure only a brain damage could ever remove them. He had to still himself for a brief moment to regain his composure. It was odd. It wasn't like he hadn't had his fair share of beautiful women, but no other woman had ever had that effect on him, not even his own fiancèè.

He had also seen the way she looked at him as though seeking for his approval, but the sudden reminder of Sang Ah had made him decide to keep his mouth shut. He figured it wouldn't be in her best interest to show his appreciation, no matter how much he wanted to, lest she take it the wrong way.

Soo Hyuk slowly took a deep, calming breath. It was so unlike of him to be preoccupied of things outside his work. Discretely, he stole a glance at Sa Bin. He didn't know if he should be relieved to see that she had pulled her coat down or lament about it.

Goddamn it! He cursed again as he realized the direction of his mind had taken. For goodness' sake, stop acting like a hormonal teenager.

Soo Hyuk knew he needed something to distract himself from the woman on his passenger seat.

As if an answer to his prayer, Sa Bin spoke up. "Prosecutor Kim, can you drop me off at the corner mart? I need to buy something." The mart she was talking about was a good two blocks away from her home. What could she need to buy there at this hour with her sore feet?

You idiot. It's the best option if you really want to spend less time with her in your car. That mart is nearer than her house. His mind screamed at him.

Soo Hyuk ignored the other part of him that protested. Strengthening his resolve, he looked at Sa Bin briefly and nodded, and then he focused back on driving.

--------------------

Thankfully, mercifully, Sa Bin and Soo Hyuk finally reached their destination with nothing more shared between them but silence, each of them preoccupied with thoughts of their own.

Soo Hyuk pulled over across the mart. Sa Bin quickly unbuckled herself. The need to be away from Soo Hyuk had never been stronger than that moment. She needed the space desperately to calm herself and get her heartbeat back to its normal rhythm.

Sa Bin turned to Soo Hyuk. "Uhm... thank you for the ride, Prosecutor Kim. I'll get off now."

When he only looked at her without saying anything, she pursed her lips and took that as acknowledgement before exiting.

Sa Bin didn't look back as she walked towards the mart.

Half an hour later, Sa Bin had finished eating her two bowls of noodles at the corner table provided by the mart for their dine-in customers. When she had walked in wearing her lab coat, the male cashier had looked at her as though she had grown two heads, but Sa Bin had ignored the man. There had been no other thought in her head at that moment but to fill her stomach with food, and no one can deter her from her goal.

She'd only realized how hungry she truly was when she peeled open her bowl and the sweet aroma of her noodles wafted into the air, filling her senses with its delicious promise of fulfillment. So hungry, in fact, that she was able to finish everything in record time, not pausing or giving any attention to her surrounding or at the couple of other people seated opposite her. In her hurry, she accidentally spilled some noodles on her lab coat. The hot soup came in contact with her skin as it soaked both her coat and her dress, and she gave a startled cry. She stood up and was forced to take the coat off. The cashier, who had been restocking the shelf and saw what happened, hurried over to her with a roll of tissues. Sa Bin gratefully accepted his assistance, noting that he was smiling widely at her.

"You stained your coat," he said in an amused tone. "You must really love your job, doctor."

Instead of correcting him, Sa Bin only smiled and nodded, wondering why disaster after disaster kept happening to her that night.

"But it's ok, though," the cashier blabbered on. "You look great in your dress."

Again, Sa Bin didn't say anything and only kept smiling, hoping he would get the hint that she was in no mood to talk. Thankfully, he caught on. After assuring the cashier she was alright, he left her to go back to his task.

Sa Bin signed and then picked up her belongings and the empty bowls to dispose of them in the bin, and then at the last minute walked back to the shelf to buy two more bowls to take home with her. She'd also added some apples, bananas, a cheese and ham sandwich, and a huge bottle of orange juice. For the moment, she ignored the pain on her feet as she paid for her items and headed out the door.

"Have a nice evening, doc!" Sa Bin heard the cashier call out from behind her. She briefly looked back over her shoulder to flash him a smile and walked out.

Sa Bin had walked half a block away from the mart when she finally stopped on her tracks. The pain on her feet had become unbearable that she could no longer walk a step further. Not even the cold distracted her from her pain. Sa Bin dragged herself against the wall and tried to think of something.

I might have to get amputated for this. Oh, damn. It hurts so much. Whoever thought heels were perfect footwear for women obviously didn't think this through. She grimaced. It seems like I have no other option.

Sa Bin held her grocey bag and lab coat in one hand, and then she looked up and down the street to make sure no one was around before she used her other hand to steady herself on the wall as she stepped out of her heels.

A deep sign of relief escaped her lips as she felt her feet come in contact with the cold, rough ground. The feeling of muscles that had been finally released from squeezing pressure felt so exquisite. She massaged her calves and wiggled her toes to relax her feet more. And then she picked up her heels and began to walk away, praying she wouldn't run into anyone. She shivered as the cold night wind breezed through her.

It's just another block from the apartment. Sa Bin assured herself. I'll just soak my feet in soap and disinfectant when I get home. I'd rather crawl than walk again in those cursed heels! Maybe if I ran for it-

Sa Bin almost screamed when a loud beep sounded off behind her. Immediately, she felt her heart race. She swallowed and slowly turned around, imagining a black van filled with masked men ready to abduct her.

She could have died of embarassment right there and then when she saw who was the owner of the car. She was on the side of the driver and was looking directly at Kim Soo Hyuk's face.

-------------------

Soo Hyuk knew he should have driven away, but for the life of him, he didn't know why instead of driving home right after Sa Bin got off his car, he found himself parking on the side road and waiting.

He shouldn't care about her, that's what he kept telling himself, but the fact his mind was screaming that it was already almost three in the morning and the streets were deserted kept him from leaving. He was reminded of the night when she'd encountered a drunkard on her way home and he had come to her rescue as though it happened only yesterday. He could still clearly remember the anger and anxiousness he felt that night thinking Sa Bin was in danger. The urge to rescue her had felt like a burning, insistent need that can't be quenched until he had made sure she was alright. It had only been by sheer control that kept him from getting off his car and pummeling the drunkard. And right now, that same protective feeling was back. Looking straight ahead, Soo Hyuk kept his eyes trained towards the mart's entrance.

It was forty five minutes later when he finally spotted Jung Sa Bin emerge from the mart. Soo Hyuk's hold on the steering wheel tightened and he frowned when he saw that she was no longer wearing her lab coat but was carrying it on her arm along a bag of groceries. She was now only on her black mini dress, her long legs and alluring figure in full view. She looked so different from her everyday attire of blouses, pants, and sneakers. No wonder she kept the lab coat on.

Sa Bin didn't notice him and walked on the opposite direction. He waited until she was a good distance away before following with his car. That's when he noticed her lean against a wall and take off her shoes. Soo Hyuk's frown deepened.

She isn't seriously gonna walk home barefoot, is she? His answer came when Sa Bin picked up her stilletos then resumed walking. His eyes narrowed to slits. Well, damn.

The thought that she'd have to suffer like that - and the possibility that some other man could see her dressed so sexily and think of doing something funny - was more than enough reason for Soo Hyuk to make his presence known to Sa Bin, so he honked and pulled over right beside her.

-----------------

"I don't think it's beneficial to your health to walk around on the street and in this weather without any shoes on."

Sa Bin got over her shock and instinctively held her stuff to her chest as though to hide herself from him. She could feel her cheeks burning in extreme embarassment. At the same time, she was filled with wonder at Soo Hyuk's sudden reappearance.

"Wh-what are you still doing here, Prosecutor Kim?" She couldn't help voicing out. Then something else occured to her. "I thought you left. Did you wait for m-"

Sa Bin immediately shut up and backed away as Soo Hyuk stepped out of his car and faced her, fixing her with those piercing eyes of his that never failed to make her heart race.

She watched in awed silence mixed with confusion as Soo Hyuk wordlessly took off his jacket and deftly draped it around her shoulders. Sa Bin's eyes widened and she was about to open her mouth when Soo Hyuk took her arm and guided her to the passenger side of his car.

"Prosecutor Kim, you don't hav-"

He cut her off by practically shoving her in after he opened the door for her. She decided it was best to stay silent and just let Soo Hyuk drive her across the remaining distance to her house.

It took them only three minutes to finally reach Sa Bin's home. As Soo Hyuk parked outside her residence, Sa Bin swallowed her nervousness and turned to the Prosecutor.

"You shouldn't have bothered to wait for me and take me home, but thank you, anyway."

"A simple "thanks" would have sufficed for my trouble." Soo Hyuk answered tonelessly without looking at her, which made her want to roll her eyes.

"I didn't ask you to wait for me, now did I?" Sa Bin said in annoyance. She took a deep breath to calm down, telling herself that she owed him and that she shouldn't be so snarly. "Ok, fine. Thank you for your trouble, Prosecutor Kim."

Her change in tone made him look at her. She expected him to throw her another sarcastic remark but what he did next surprised her.

Soo Hyuk stepped out of the car and Sa Bin watched as he rounded to her side, opening her car door for her.

Sa Bin suddenly felt sort of out of her element. She didn't expect Soo Hyuk to have such a gentlemanly side. He had seemed to be the type who couldn't be bothered by things that didn't concern him.

Clutching her belongings, Sa Bin got off, still barefoot. She was careful not to let her dress hike up as she alighted from the car.

Soo Hyuk was watching her with faint concern. Sa Bin looked at him sheepishly.

"I... I guess I already owe you big time, Prosecutor. I've been such a bother." She looked down at herself. "Can you hold my stuff for a minute? I'll just take off your jacket-"

"You can return it to me on another day," Soo Hyuk interrupted. "It's impractical to have you take it off in this cold wearing that thin dress of yours."

Sa Bin blushed profusely. She bit her lip and averted her face to hide it. She wanted to tell Soo Hyuk it was such a ridiculous reasoning considering that though they were indeed out in the cold street, it wasn't like they're miles away from her home. Nevertheless, she was grateful for his offer because she wasn't really comfortable with taking his jacket off right in front of him and have him see her in her mini dress again.

Soo Hyuk stared at her averted, cherry-red face, and he smirked to himself. "You're awfully easy to tease, aren't you?"

Sa Bin quickly raised her chin in a sudden flare of defiance. "Excuse me! No, I am not, mr. Prosecutor. I don't know what made you think that, but it's farthest from the truth. I am not one of those hooligans you love to bully so much." Sa Bin saw the look on Soo Hyuk's face. "Hey, stop making fun of me! If you must know, I already know what type of man you are."

Soo Hyuk straightened, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "And what would that be?"

"Well.... that you're the a....a..." Sa Bin looked away as she struggled to think of something. "The bossy type!" She exclaimed. She smiled triumphantly. "You like to scare people and you love getting your way."

"You have an amazing analytical talent."

"Of course!" She said smugly.

"If that's the case, then you shouldn't be surprised if I do this."

"Do what- ah!"

Sa Bin squealed when she suddenly found herself off the ground as Soo Hyuk swooped in to sweep her off her feet in a flash, carrying her bridal style in his strong arms. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck in utter shock.

"Prosecutor Kim!" She screamed. "What are you doing? Put me down!" She tried to get free, afraid that somebody in the neighborhood might see them, but her struggle only made Soo Hyuk's hold on her tighten as he walked up to the entrance of her apartment building.

"Please, put me down." She tried again.

"Which floor?"

"What?"

"Which floor is your unit, ms. Jung Sa Bin?" Soo Hyuk clarified as though she was a small child.

She blinked. "Put me down first."

"Either you tell me which floor or I carry you back to my car and take you home with me. Your choice."

"You can't do that!" She exclaimed in a panic.

"You already said I'm the bossy type."

She gaped at him. "You are overreacting-" she was trying to say, but quickly took it back when Soo Hyuk began to turn back to his car. "Ok, ok! Third floor! Please, stop-"

"Jsut be quiet and let me do what I have to do so we can get this over with."

The pleading tone in his usually stern voice did the trick. Once again, Sa Bin found herself speechless at Soo Hyuk's command.

As they began to climb up the stairs, Sa Bin couldn't help but notice how Soo Hyuk's calloused and rough palms were pressed against her back and thighs from where he was holding her; of how the heat radiating off his body was seeping through hers in the most awkward yet comforting way imaginable, banishing the coldness she felt.

She discovered she loved the way he was holding her. Soo Hyuk's grip on her body was firm yet gentle, and she noticed the subtle way he pressed her closer to him as to avoid jostling her too much as he took careful, measured steps in ascending the stairs. Her heartbeat had never stopped its erratic beating, and yet there was a part of her that felt secure in his arms. She suddenly wanted to lean her head against his chest and close her eyes.

Sa Bin became horrified when she realized what just crossed her mind. Thankfully, they finally reached her floor.

Soo Hyuk carefully put Sa Bin down in front of her unit. He pretended not to notice when she reached down to straighten her dress.

Sa Bin turned around and tried balancing her belongings in one arm as she used the other to fumble for the keys in her purse. She was surprised, yet again, when Soo Hyuk took her heels and lab coat to hold them for her. There was a moment of eye contact between them before Sa Bin continued to look for her keys.

This has seriously been the longest night of my life, Sa Bin gravely mused. It's like all misfortune that could befall anyone has been dumped on me on this particular day. Nobody deserves this. Oh, god, where are those damn keys?

It seemed apparent to her now that she'd always humiliate herself in front of Kim Soo Hyuk no matter the circumstance. The only explanation she could think of was perhaps, in her past life, she had caused the downfall of her nation, or worse.

Sa Bin could feel Soo Hyuk's eyes on her as she continued her search. She almost shout in glee when she finally found her keys. She inserted it on the keyhole and opened the door to her unit.

When she turned back to the man behind her, she couldn't stop smiling in amusement at him. Soo Hyuk raised an eyebrow, but she refused to explain what she found amusing.

She would never tell him how comical he looked standing there in his expensive suit while holding her heels like a salesman. Oh, no. That would be for her private amusement. Instead, her smile blossomed into a more sincere one.

"I don't know how to say this, but I think you just saved my life multiple times tonight. So, uhm, would a simple "thanks" still suffice?"

Kim Soo Hyuk stared at her smiling face, and he felt as though all his trouble had been worth it. He had the sudden urge to tuck the stray strands of Sa Bin's hair behind her ear but held back. He fought to keep his emotions from showing. He handed Sa Bin back her belongings and motioned toward her apartment with a slight nod of his head.

"Let's not think of anything else for now, ms. Sa Bin. It's late and you still have a long day tomorrow-" he looked at his wristwatch. "Well, I guess I should say "later.'"

Sa Bin nodded her head, suddenly feeling a dread for Soo Hyuk's impending departure.

Seeing her unmoving, Soo Hyuk suppressed a sign as he placed a hand on her shoulder and gently nudged her inside her apartment.

"It's cold out here. Now get in there and rest." He held the door and began to close it. "I'll see you around."

"Oh. Ok." Sa Bin stood there and watched as the door was finally closed shut, feeling a kind of loss now that Soo Hyuk had gone.

She was suddenly filled with a surreal feeling as though everything that had happened that night was only a dream.

Sa Bin tore herself away fron the door and walked towards the tiny kitchen where she dropped her heels and lab coat on a chair, before she leaned on the counter to replay the events of the night in her head. One thing she was sure now: Kim Soo Hyuk was indeed a gentleman. She never expected that he'd have that side to him, but it warmed her heart that he had chosen to show it to her. Despite his snide comments, she could see he genuinely cared for her wellbeing. The fact that he even waited for her to finish her grocery and even took her home, carrying her and everything, showed her there was more to him that she'd imagined.

Sa Bin smiled to herself and raised her arms. Suddenly, she remembered that she was still wearing Soo Hyuk's jacket. Quickly, she took it off, and on an impulse, brought it to her face to inhale Soo Hyuk's scent. She felt ridiculous doing it but she couldn't care less at the moment. And then she brought the jacket close to her chest. Idly, she wondered what could be happening to her.

Outside Sa Bin's apartment, Soo Hyuk stood a few more seconds just looking at the door he had just closed, oddly satisfied that Jung Sa Bin was home and safe. And then he turned and walked away.

-fin-