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#y'all really opened pandora's box with this one
stolligaseptember · 1 year
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don't make me write an essay on why lwj is anne elliott in persuasion aus
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genericpuff · 7 months
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Not related to lore Olympus but this discussion seems a bit uhh strange. Some of the comments are calling Mattie bites a right woman hater. If you don't believe me,check this out.
https://www.reddit.com/r/webtoons/s/4zaDi6fWos
god okay I feel like I'm opening Pandora's Box with this shit but I have lots to say about it so... yeah fuck it, let's do this, I'm brave-
So I can absolutely agree with OP's sentiment that BlackLightJack's content has become uh... more aggressive and mean-spirited , and don't get me wrong, that was always sort of his vibe, but now it feels like he's straight up just weaponizing his fanbase and like... y'all know how curt I get about LO here, I can be a real asshole about it, even I think what BLJ is doing feels really shitty, immature, and frankly just uninformed? Because most of his videos are just him pout-screaming profanities into the microphone, like I know this is gonna sound nitpicky and petty but I can literally hear it in his voice that he's enunciating his words the same way an 8 year old would so that spit would land on the person they're yelling at ("STOOOOOOOOO-PPP-UHHHHH") and lately his content just feels like what it used to feel like being in CoD lobbies back in the day. Him having the name 'webtoon killer' just gives me such a sour taste in my mouth. Like... this feels like some kind of Batman villain in the making LMAO
But maybe no one wants to hear that opinion from someone like me who's literally called themselves the "far superior off brand" as a gag LMAO and that's fine honestly if you think I'm full of shit, this is also just my opinion!
But like... and I know I'm being an asshole going 'b-but-!' but... BLJ is also building an entire ass monetized platform off his vibe and using that platform to specifically go after Canvas series and creators. And let me tell you, while many would argue "well it's just the webtoons that are grossly negligent / breaking Webtoons' ToS / etc.", his fanbase is also constantly just sending him new comics to read and trash on and I feel like it's only a matter of time before he goes after a completely innocent creator whose only crime was being not great at webcomics which... shouldn't be viewed as a default crime punishable by pitchforks. That sorta already happened with the Fulcagay situation, I don't know Fulcagay and he almost definitely wouldn't know me, but he's a fellow Canvas creator who I've run into and shared a space with, and BLJ's original comments about him just felt incredibly off-base and volatile without giving even a shred of benefit of the doubt. I get the sense BLJ doesn't know about Hanlon's razor ("Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity") because EVERY video he does about every comic and creator he's addressing assumes maliciousness always.
This is the same shit we got with Youtube creators like Leafy who became infamous for just taking the piss out of everyone until they took it too far. Like, take it from me, it can be VERY easy to get so entrenched in being an asshole and taking the piss out of everything that completely innocent people get hit with splash damage, and if you're not willing to take responsibility for that, then you're gonna look like a bigger dick than the people you were aiming for. This pee analogy working for y'all? 😆
As for what Matty Bites has to do with that, I don't really get it? Like maybe I'm just misinformed here, maybe I haven't watched enough of her stuff, but she's never given me anywhere near the amount of red flags I get off listening to even one episode of BLJ. Matty feels like someone who actually reads and analyzes and researches the stuff she's criticizing in a way that's relatively harmless with her own flair sprinkled in (and her humor is hilarious btw, her opening skits are great LOL); BLJ meanwhile feels like he's constantly one opinion away from starting a #victimofcancelculture campaign because he's just trying to be as edgy and angry as possible LMAO (and ironically they're both often criticizing the same thing, but it goes to show how delivery makes a hell of a difference when it comes to dishing out criticism)
All that said, if there is something with Matty Bites that I'm missing here, I'm fully open to being informed because I haven't watched many of her videos and there could just as well be something that I've missed. But I don't think she's anywhere near as hostile as BLJ tends to be, I don't think Matty Bites' comedic video editing and sassy commentary has ever resulted in creators actually being attacked and bullied like BLJ's have.
Overall I think anyone who builds a platform or audience off criticizing content (and this includes me!) needs to practice responsibility and accountability in what they put out and what they choose to focus on and criticize. It can be really easy to accidentally use "criticism" as a get-out-of-jail-free card to just be a bully. It can be really easy to wind up leaving your criticism so unrefined and surface level without any deeper reflection that you never actually open your mind to anything and you just end up echoing out hate speech without even intending to. And it can be really, really easy to ruin your own palate from willingly consuming nothing but shit all day.
Just to quote some very famous words from a fictional character that absolutely apply here:
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jazzthatonewriterchick · 10 months
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The Swordsman’s Secret (msub!Zoro x Black! FDom!Reader 18+ One Shot)
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Pairing: Zoro Roronoa x Black!Fem!Reader
Synopsis: In which your favorite swordsman has an interesting secret and kink that you are more than happy to explore with him in the bedroom. Or in which Zoro gets pegged for the first time.
Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Femdom!Reader; msub!Zoro; Black-coded!Reader (but anyone can still read this); Pegging; Anal Play/Sex; Mild BDSM; Degradation & Praise; Deepthroating; Edge Play; Name-calling; Zoro is Your Little Toy; Masturbation; Mutual Orgasms; Aftercare; Exhibitionism (cuz the Strawhats hear y'all fucking lol)
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!
Writer’s Note: Happy birthday month to my favorite Scorpio!! 💚💚I've always loved the idea of Zoro becoming a subby little mess for his woman & wanted to write it for a hot minute. Something about a big, buff, manly man getting pegged just does something to me fr. I had soooo much fun writing this & I hope y'all enjoy! -Jazz
*********
Zoro has a secret. 
A secret that you are not aware of. He has kept it hidden for some time now, hidden within the deep parts of himself that he only frees late at night when the Thousand Sunny is silent and the Strawhat crew is soundly slumbering. 
Then, and only then, does he allow himself some peace to think and dream about his deplorable, disgusting, unmanly secret that has been haunting him for so long. 
He has a thing for anal play. Butt stuff. He calls it a thing because he really doesn’t know what it is. You would think this means he’d like to do things with your ass, right? And sure, he does! He is absolutely in love with your ass. It’s so round and plump and juicy. He loves grabbing and smacking it whenever he can. He admires it whenever you walk by, loving how it moves when you walk, each globe of fat jiggling enticingly. 
He is so lucky that you’re so freaky and adventurous because you were the one who suggested trying new things in the bedroom with him months ago. You had moved from handcuffs and bondage to role-playing to butt play. Zoro was originally perturbed and confused at this request of yours. Why would anyone want something in their ass? Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable? 
You had explained it to him one night during a hot, relaxing bath where you sat between his legs and thick, muscular thighs, your back against his chest. “The anus is very close to the vaginal wall for cis women,” you explained as he traced circles along your back. “That’s why women can orgasm from anal sex or anal play, like with fingers and toys. Even tongues! You ever heard of someone eating ass?” 
Zoro was disgusted, to say the least. He loved you, but he wasn’t eating nobody’s ass…until he did. One night, you both made the decision to try something with the cutest little butt plug you bought at a sex shop with Nami during an errand run in a village one day. Honey, when Zoro got a look at how pretty and plump your ass looked with the plug in it and how wet your cunt got for him, he was hooked. 
Especially when he started fucking you with the plug. He had used lube beforehand so you were nice, slick, and ready to be absolutely filled. Your moans were loud and needy as he slowly fucked your asshole with the plug, twisting it this way and that, enjoying the way you responded to him. He has never been so hard in his life until he watched you cum all over yourself, soaking the bedsheets. “That was amazing,” you had breathlessly said as your body twitched, the plug still in your ass. Zoro couldn’t have agreed more. 
That night opened Pandora’s box of butt stuff for you both. You started incorporating plugs and vibrators into your bedroom activities, even moving on to fingering and ass-eating. Zoro was very afraid the first time he did it, but to be able to move between eating your gorgeous ass and pussy, and tasting everything you gave him, gave him more of a rush than he anticipated. And when you finally moved onto anal sex, that was all it took for Zoro to fall head over heels. He loved doing this to you and with you. The way you writhed and tossed your ass back into his cock as he drilled you from behind was addictive, to say the least. 
But then he got to thinking one night. It was random, really. Just after sex with you. You were sleeping soundly beside him, your ass coated in coconut oil after a night of anal play, the glittery plug in your bedside drawer after the night concluded. He stared up at the ceiling and thought to himself…what would it be like to be on the receiving end instead of the giving end?
 
What does anal play feel like, he wondered? Does it feel nice? Judging by the way you moaned and whimpered his name, fisted the sheets, and creamed all over the bed, it seemed like a yes. But he never even pondered the idea of receiving anal stimulation. He’s never even tried it! How the idea came about, he’ll never know. Maybe there was a part of him that felt jealous of the pleasure you were receiving; how free you looked. 
Even when Zoro fucked his hand at the thought of you, he stayed away from ass. But that didn't stop the temptation. That didn’t stop his fingers from inching towards his asshole, wondering how it would feel to rub it or plunge them deep inside to trail over his prostate. But he never did, and the temptation is killing him slowly. 
His dreams became filled with images of you mounting him from behind, fucking his tight hole the way he does yours, your tinier frame behind his bigger one. And he's a big guy! He stands a whole head taller than you and practically covers your entire body whenever he hovers above you, your legs over his broad shoulders. He never would've imagined such a thing could turn him on so much.
So, one boring, hot day on the ship when everyone is busy doing their own thing, he brings it to your attention. Because isn't that what healthy couples do? They communicate about their wants, needs, issues, and desires? Though he feels slightly insecure in his secret and irrationally fears that you’ll look at him as less than a man because of this, Zoro wants to be the best man possible for you. That means not lying to you. So he stands with you now on the side of the ship, the sun shining against your gorgeous skin and making your pretty, brown eyes sparkle. 
“Look,” he sighs, holding your small hands in each of his bigger, calloused ones, “I really need to talk to you about something and you can’t laugh, okay?” The smile you were originally wearing fades. “Okay,” you say, sounding concerned. “Baby, is everything okay? You’re sweating bullets.” 
And he is. He doesn’t feel like passing it off as a side effect to the heat or the sun. In truth, Zoro is extremely nervous. “Listen,” he huffs, feeling like he is about to burst out of his skin. “I’ve really enjoyed the…stuff…we’ve been doing. Y’know, with your ass.” He blushes as you laugh at his bluntness. “Okay,” you giggle cutely. “I have too.” 
Zoro gnaws on his bottom lip, oblivious to the way you stare at him like you could eat him alive or sit on his entire face as he does so. “A-And…I’ve been thinking…” He clears his throat and swallows nervously his Adam’s Apple bobbing. “Maybe, instead of me doin’ all of that on you, you could…I don’t fuckin’ know…do it to…me, I guess.” 
The pause of silence that comes after kills him slowly. He peers down at you, expecting you to be weirded out or immediately break up with him or something. But instead, you just look surprised. “Wait…you wanna try anal play?” you gently ask, no laughing or giggling in your tone.
Blushing furiously, Zoro slowly nods. “Wow,” you gasp. “I didn't think you’d be into that, Zo. I mean, you weren’t exactly too hyped about it when I first introduced it to you.” Zoro looks down at his feet, feeling guilty. “Which was totally fine!” you quickly add. “Not everybody is too keen on ass stuff.” 
“I guess I just thought it was gross,” he confesses with a shrug. “But after tryin’ it with you, I realized how much I enjoyed it.” You nod in understanding. “So much that you wanna try it yourself,” you finish for him since he is too cowardly to do so (according to him, anyway). “How long have you thought about this?” you ask, running your thumbs over his knuckles. It soothes him. 
“For a while, but I never really…I just…I’m curious is all.” He keeps stumbling on his words, but you seem to get what he trying to tell you. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me?” you curiously ask. “I would’ve wanted to know all about this!” 
Zoro bites his plump bottom lip again, still feeling guilty. For not saying anything to you–his amazing, compassionate, lovely, sexy girlfriend–or for thinking you’d even consider breaking up with him over this. “I guess I was afraid,” he confesses. “That you’d think I’m weird or less of a man, or something. I mean, guys don’t do shit like this…straight guys, anyway.” 
You shake your head, surprising him. “Uh-uh, that’s where you’re wrong,” you correct him. “Plenty of straight men love anal play. Just because it’s pleasurable to have something here doesn’t mean it’s gay, unless it’s another guy doing it.” You give him a big, bright smile that eases all of his fears and discomfort. “But it’s not. It’s me: your very loving and very horny girlfriend who really wants to fuck your ass.” 
Zoro rolls his eye, ignoring the way you hysterically giggle at his blush. As goofy as you are, it feels good that you’re making light of this and not totally serious about it. It makes him feel less scared. “So..you really want to?” he asks. 
“Of course!” you chirp with a beaming smile. “Have you seen how nice of an ass you’ve got? You could bounce quarters off of that shit.” Your hand reaches around to squeeze one of Zoo’s glutes that he is, ironically, proud of. He grunts and blushes bright red, snatching your hand off of him. “Oooh, this is so exciting!” you cheer too loudly. "I can’t wait to use a butt plug on you, Zoro!” 
He swears that his soul nearly leaves his body as your voice echoes across the ship. “Shh, shh!” he shushes you, putting a hand on your mouth. “Jesus, woman, you want the whole ship to know?” Your brown eyes widen and you quickly shake your head, though your shoulders still shake with laughter. 
So after everyone falls asleep that night after one too many drinks, Zoro finds himself sitting on the bed in your shared bed chambers waiting for you to appear from the bathroom. He is feeling buzzed and loose from the drinks he’s had to loosen himself up for tonight, but nervous butterflies still flutter about in his stomach. He showered earlier to make sure he smells of cedar wood and vanilla–a scent that always seems to drive you crazy–and rid his body of anything that could ruin tonight for you both (if that’s TMI, sorry lol). He wants tonight to be perfect. 
But as the ship rocks slightly along the waves, it only makes the butterflies worse. The bed is neatly made and spread with a towel, nothing more, but the idea of what that towel will be used for is scaring the shit out of him. “I’m finished, baby!” you finally call through the bathroom door. “You ready for me now?” 
He startles, staring wide-eyed at the bathroom door. He was hoping you would take more time to primp yourself. “Y-Yeah,” he calls back. “Come on out before I change my mind about this.” And he is seconds away from doing so. 
When you finally step out of the bathroom, Zoro nearly busts a nut at the sight of you. You’re wearing a cherry red babydoll dress that stops mid-thigh and leads all the way down to some heels and those luscious, milky legs he loves to kiss, stroke, and have wrapped around his head. The babydoll is see-through, exposing your stomach and laced thong to him that match the laced cups of your bra that hide those delectable breasts of yours.
“Goddamn,” he mutters, feeling his cock twitch beneath his kimono. “Wh-What’s with the fit?” You lean against the bathroom door, posing for him. “You like?” you giggle. “Robin let me raid her closet.” Zoro nods to himself. “Of course, she did,” he says under his breath. 
You walk further into the bedroom and walk to the bedside drawer where you retrieve something that Zoro can’t see well in the candlelight. “Now.” You pause, smirking deviously at him. “You ready to take this cock for me, baby boy?” you purr. You then retrieve a strap-on with an eight-inch dildo dangling from it. 
Zoro’s brain is short-circuiting as he stares at the contraption, dumbfounded and nearly shitting himself. His asscheeks practically clench in protest and refusal to take something so thick into his body. “W-What?” he dumbly asks. “You want me to take that thing? Baby, that’s a fucking monster!” 
You can hardly hold yourself together and start to laugh at his expense. “Relax, Zo!” you giggle. “I just wanted to see your face.” You go into the drawer again and retrieve a black butt plug from it. “I’ll be using this on you tonight, just to get you used to the feeling. But first, we’re gonna start with some lube, a finger, and some throat all for my man to feel good.” You wink at him as you rummage through the drawer and retrieve the lube that heats up on contact, according to the bottle. 
You toss all of the items, including some body oil and the strap, onto the bed. Zoro stares at them, sweating fucking bullets. Though the idea of a finger or a plug going in his ass instead of the monstrous strap relaxes him, but only somewhat. He didn't exactly “prep” for tonight, figuring you would do so. But how long will it take? Will it hurt? Is he emotionally prepared for it? 
You crawl onto the bed with him, sitting on your knees on the mattress in front of him. You look absolutely angelic in the candlelight. “Now, before we start, let’s go over everything we discussed for safety: the safe word and traffic lights.” Zoro nods, remembering what you both discussed earlier for safety precautions. He runs it all back to you now: “The safe word is ‘jolly’, yellow means slow down, and red means stop.” 
You clap excitedly and plant one chaste yet passionate kiss on his lips. “Good boy!” you proudly giggle. “Now lay back for me so I can get you relaxed. On your back please.”
Zoro obliges and leans back against the pillows, doing his best to relax into the mattress. He watches through his one hooded eye as you untie his kimono and reveal his big, toned, scarred body, solid from years of training and filled with stitched wounds and stabs from years of fights. Between his toned, thick, tanned thighs lies his semi-hard cock, twitching at the sight, smell, and feeling of you. 
You squirt some oil into your hands and begin to go to work relaxing your man. You rub him down with the oil, making his tan skin glint in the candlelight. The scent of mangoes from the oil fills his nose, taking him on a journey to a long, distant island in the tropics. Soft moans and sighs leave his lips as your hands work his tired limbs, loosening the tension and making him melt into a puddle on the mattress. Unbeknownst to him, you love seeing him like this. You love it when he is totally relaxed, his head tossed back and eyes shut. You love feeling him up, your fingers running over his muscles as much as you please. 
What the massage also does is make him extremely hard for you. His thick, hard, cock, protruding from a patch of trimmed, green curls, stand upright, flopping against his toned, lower stomach and dripping in pre-cum. “Already so hard for me,” you giggle. “You’re so naughty, Zo.” You don’t hesitate to wrap your oily hands (both because Zoro is that thick) around him and begin slowly stroking him up and down, taking your time with getting him harder in your hands for you. 
“Fuck,” Zoro sighs, loving how soft and warm your hands are. When your mouth suddenly makes contact with his cock, he doesn’t know why he freaks out. He tenses underneath you and you notice immediately. You place a comforting hand on his stomach, shushing him. “Just relax for me, papa,” you coo. “It’s just head. You like the way I give head.” 
Zoro nods to himself, feeling paranoid and stupid. You haven’t even touched any of the toys yet and here he is, clenching his cheeks. “Okay,” he exhales. “Okay. Sorry.”
You giggle slightly before opening your mouth and wrapping those lips around him. Zoro groans at the sensations you give him with that skillful tongue and those plump, dick-sucking lips. He would never tell you that though. He understands the offensive implications of that since you’re a woman and you’re way more than just your assets, but goddamn, he can’t help but think it and thank God that you’re bestowing such amazing lips to him and him alone. Your mouth was made for this shit. The way you bop your head up and down and slide your tight throat along his shaft should be illegal. He clenches the bedsheets and thrusts his hips up into your mouth, making you take all of his dick. 
“S-Shit!” he grunts, squinting down at you with his one eye. He can barely take how beautiful you look taking his thick, veiny cock, your mouth coated in spit and your pretty brown eyes staring at him.
“You feelin’ good, baby?” you coo, your voice muffled by his cock. “Is your girl doin’ a good job taking all that dick?” You do that thing he likes when you grip his cock a little harder and stroke him in time with your quick sucks and gags around his cock. 
Zoro swears he nearly cums right there. “Fuck!” he groans. “You’re way too good at this shit, mama.” His toes curl and his legs fall open, giving you the perfect opportunity to feel up on his toned, muscular thighs. You always were a thigh girl and Zoro has plenty of that from years of training and from his big and tall build.
You continue to work his cock the way only you can, making his balls swell and saliva trickle down his asscrack. The fact that he can feel it makes him even harder.‘This is so hot,’ he thinks, delirious from the pleasure. He feels like he wants to cum. He can feel his balls tightening and the urge to fill your pretty throat rising…but he won’t. He wants to make tonight count, and if that means holding out then so be it. 
You must sense his refusal to cum because you stop sucking and stroking him, your hands and mouth dripping in spit and pre-cum. Zoro nearly jumps your gorgeous bones right there, but he knows he’ll have time to fuck you up later. Right now, this is about you taking control of him. 
"Think you’re ready for a finger now, baby?” you ask. “I’ll only use one first and I’ll go slow. If you ever need me to slow down, say–“ 
“Yellow,” he interrupts, still breathing heavily from the head session. “And yes, I’m ready.” You give him a gorgeous, joyous smile that fills him with warmth and adoration for you. You coax him to turn over and he does so, getting onto all fours for you. It feels sort of awkward doing so with how big he is and how small you are as you kneel behind him, but it also feels kind of hot, like he is doing something forbidden. The idea of you fucking him with that strap, mounting him, stretching him out, making him totally and completely yours, makes him want to nut at least fifty times in a row. 
He tries to remain calm and does the breathing exercises that he practices after workouts as you prepare him. You squirt some lube onto your hands before taking one finger and lightly gliding it along his puckered hole. His big, muscular body tenses at the icy sensation. “S-Shit, that’s cold,” he hisses. “When is it gonna heat up? Doesn’t it say it on the bottle or somethin’?”
You giggle at his complaints, continuing to lightly trace the lube around his hole. After a few minutes of repeating the same action, the lube feels much warmer and you begin to slowly slide your index finger into his asshole, pausing to watch for his reaction. You just insert your fingertip, but Zoro reacts immediately, his hole clenching around the foreign item inside of him. 
“How’s that feel?” you ask. He exhales deeply, allowing himself to relax around your fingertip. “Weird,” he huffs. “Different, but…kinda good. I just feel a little…” His mind tries to find the right word, searching up, down, and all around for it. 
“Full?” you chuckle. He slowly nods, blushing at the oddness and vulgarity of that…and Zoro is a vulgar guy! He’s made you blush so many times from the nasty, dirty words he’s whispered to you in the bedroom in the past, but now here he is, shy and jittery over being filled up. “You ain’t felt nothing yet, baby boy.” 
Something happens to Zoro at that moment. The moment the strange, new pet name leaves your lips, his body gets hot like he was set on fire and his cock twitches excitedly. The name sounds so submissive like he is your baby boy. You notice his body’s reaction and giggle, stroking his lower back. “You like me callin’ you that?” you purr. “That’s so unlike you. I kinda like this subby side of you, Zo.” 
Zoro growls defiantly as you continue to gently fuck him with your finger, sliding the rest of the way inside of his tight hole. “Don’t get used to it,” he grumbles. “This is only for tonight.”
You just cackle, knowing damn well that that is a lie. And Zoro knows it too. After you spend some time sliding your finger in and out of him, you prepare to add another. “Now I’m gonna add another finger. Just breathe while I do this, baby. Holding your breath is very dangerous and I want you relaxed for this part, okay?” 
Zoro nods, mentally and emotionally preparing himself for you to add another finger. But no matter how much preparing he does, he still jumps and quivers at the feeling of another finger stretching him out. “Breathe,” you coax him. “Breathe, Zoro. Don’t hold it in.” “Relax for me.” Zoro clenches the pillow underneath him, nearly ripping it to shreds. “Trying…to,” he grunts, his eye squeezed tight at the foreign feeling. 
It doesn’t hurt; it’s just a stretch. With every inch of your fingers sliding in and out of him, he can feel his hole slowly becoming stretched. His leaking cock throbs and twitches between his thighs and he finds himself grinding it against the comforter below for relief. “Is this okay?” you ask, noticing the way he is rolling his hips against the comforter. You can feel your pussy becoming wet at the sight, loving how you’re making him feel.
“Y-Yeah,” he shakily answers. He turns to look back at you, his face flushed and his forehead pebbled in sweat. “I think I’m ready as I’ll ever be, so no more stretchin’ me out, alright?” A sexy smirk crosses your lips as you catch his drift. “You want me to use the plug now, baby?” 
Shivers go up his spine at the idea of something else going inside of him, making him feel this good. “Y-Yeah, I…I think I’m ready.” He swallows roughly, prepared for more. “You can use it on me…M-Mistress.” 
Your eyes flash with a fire he’s never seen before as the title leaves his quivering lips. “Oh, shit, baby,” you groan. “I’m gonna have so much fun with you.” You retrieve your fingers from his hole and press a kiss to his muscular back, right on his tattoos. “Hike that ass up in the air for me.” Blushing mad hard, he listens and lowers his head to the pillow while his ass goes up straight in the air like a moon. 
Smack! He gasps in surprise as he feels your hand make contact with one of his tan, firm asscheeks. “Hey!” he growls, glaring back at you. You laugh to yourself, stroking the sting away from his cheek. “Sorry,” you cackle. “I just had to. Your ass is just too amazing, baby boy.” Unbeknownst to you, he cracks a humored smirk at your idiocy and the fact that you love his body so much. 
He looks back and watches you prepare the black butt plug for him, squirting more lube on it. It isn’t that big, but shit, it could damn well be a dildo with the way Zoro perceives it. When you finish, he turns back around to stare at the headboard and breathes as you instruct him. When the plug finally slides in, he nearly curses the stars and sky above as you begin to fuck him with the damn thing. 
He’s never felt anything like this. He feels so stretched. So full. So, so good. His cock drips with pre and throbs impatiently, making him grind it harder against the comforter in an effort to ease the ache. When you finally reach that spot inside of him, he can’t help the loud, surprised yelp of pleasure that escapes him. “Oh, fuck!” he moans, pleasure exploding throughout his body. He looks back at you, wide-eyed. “Y/N, what…what the fuck was that?” 
You smile proudly as you continue to move the plug in and out of him, admiring how plump his ass looks with it snugly inside of his hole. "Guess I found your prostate,” you giggle. “Mmm, that reaction was so nice to witness. I wanna see more of that, baby boy.” And you continue to rub up against his prostate, your hooded eyes drinking in the way his body quivers and his hips rut into the bed. 
Zoro is losing all self-control at this point, the pleasure explosive and almost heavenly. He voices his pleasure to you––his love; his woman; his Mistress. “God, baby!” he gasps. “That’s…that’s perfect! Please keep going!”
You smile from behind him, your other hand stroking up and down his back as you continue to fuck him with the other. “You want your Mistress to keep going?” you teasingly ask. "You want her to keep fucking this little hole?” 
Tears of pleasure prick Zoro’s waterline as he bites the pillow under his head. “Yes, yes, God, yes!” he nearly sobs. “Please keep going, Mistress! Dammit, just fuck me!” 
You do just that, moving the plug in and out of his snug asscheeks a little bit faster than before, enjoying the sounds he makes as you do. “Fuck, you’re so hard from this, Zo,” you moan, admiring his rock-hard, throbbing cock with its angry, red cockhead dripping in pre-cum for you. “Stroke that dick for me while I fuck you. Be a good boy for me and fuck that hand.”
He does as you say, wrapping his hand around his shaft and fucking it like it’s your tight, wet, gushy cunt. “I can’t tell you how hot you look right now,” you dreamily sigh. “I love seeing you like this. You’re like my little toy.” 
You lean towards him and drag your lips over the shell of his ear. All he can feel and smell is you. “Do you wanna be my little toy, Zoro?” you whisper. “You wanna cum all over yourself while I fuck you with this plug, don’t you?” He cries out in reply, his cock and balls swelling. He wants to cum. He has to cum. “God, Y/N!” He sobs. “I’m gonna fuckin’ cum!” 
“Do it,” you practically beg, coaxing him further with the butt plug. “Cum for me, baby boy.” 
He can feel it building. He will soon shoot rope after rope of cum all over his hand and the bed as he clenches around the plug inside of his hole. But the defiance in him stops his primal desire to release. The need to be completely and utterly yours overtakes him. You make him feel so free; so loved. He just wants to give you all of him, prove to you that he can take anything you throw at him. 
“Yellow!” he shouts in desperation. “Yellow, yellow!” 
And like a good girlfriend and sexual partner should, you stop immediately. “What is it?” you ask, concerned. "What’s wrong? Did I go too far? Was I going too fast?” Shakily, Zoro shakes his head and looks back at you. “I-I don’t wanna cum with the plug,” he breathlessly explains. “I want you to use the strap on me first.” 
You blink at him, confused for a moment but he sees that passionate fire in your eyes. “Are you sure?” you ask, worry in your eyes. “Baby, don’t feel pressured to–“ 
“I haven’t felt this free in years,” he confesses, giving you a wobbly, adoring smile. “And I feel that way because of you. You accept all of me and I want to give all of myself to you now.” He reaches back and pulls his cheeks apart, the plug still nice and snug in his hole between them. “So get that strap and fuck me, baby. Make me cum just for you.” 
Now, there is no worry or uncertainty in your eyes. All he sees is lust, pure and exciting. “If you insist…” You smile like a devious little devil as you reach for the strap which he notices comes with a bumped rod, obviously for you to stimulate yourself as you fuck him. The mere idea of you feeling as good as him and cumming at the same time as he does nearly sends his big ass into orbit. 
When you strap the fake dick on, Zoro nearly busts right there at the sight of you. Seeing you with a cock hanging from your hips is as hot as it is thrilling and a little frightening. You moan in pleasure as you shift your hips to meet the small rod that snuggly fits against your clit and just kisses the inside of your pussy. He wishes that rod was his cock instead, filling you up and plunging deep inside of you, fucking you into the mattress the way only he can do. But that can come later. Right now, the only one getting fucked into the bed is him. 
You come up behind him and shift your hips before gently and slowly slide into his hole. “God!” Zoro chokes out, his mouth falling open at the sensation of being totally stretched. This is so much different than your fingers or the butt plug. The strap is much thicker, bigger, and wider, making him feel fuller than he ever has in the last hour of his ass being fucked. Now he knows how you feel every time you take him.
“Nice and slow,” you coo. “Just breathe, baby boy. You’re doing so well takin’ that dick for me.”
Zoro whimpers––he actually whimpers––as you continue to praise him, your hand stroking his back. It takes some time, but he finally feels his asshole accommodating to the size of the strap. He is seeing stars behind his eyelids as you slowly bump your hips against his backside, the lewd squelching sound of the lube filling the air. “Oh, my God,” he groans. “Oh, my God.”
You begin to bump your hips a little harder, still keeping up that slow pace. “Is it good for you, baby?” you gasp. “‘Cause it feels amazing for me.” 
He can almost hear the rod sliding in and out of that wet pussy, your soft moans and whimpers filling his ears. “It feels fucking amazing,” he grunts, stroking his cock in time with your thrusts. You grab his hips, questioning whether or not to go all the way. “So is it okay to–“ 
“Yes, yes, God, yes, Y/N!” he begs, his voice hoarse. “Just fuck me, please! I love you so fuckin’ much!” He can see you smiling behind his eyelid as you grip his hips and begin to fuck his hole with the strap, tearing moans, sobs, and grunts out of his body.
“I love you too, Zo,” you whimper. “So, so much. I wouldn’t do this with anyone else but you.” Your soft lips lean down to pepper his back, shoulders, and neck in kisses, tracing along his scars and tattoos. 
Zoro is losing his ever-loving mind, moving back to meet your thrusts as he carefully continues to fuck his fist wet with pre-cum. When you hit that spongey spot again inside of him, he nearly roars in pleasure. “There!” he whines. “There, baby, right there!”
You grip his hips harder and shift onto your knees as you roughly fuck that spot, rubbing up against it again and again until your swordsman is howling in ecstasy. “Right there?” you teasingly ask. “Is this the spot, baby boy?” 
Your hand sneaks under his thighs to fondle his balls, pulling a strangled moan from his quivering lips. “Look at how hard you are,” you whisper in his ear. “You love getting fucked like this, don’t you? Such a little slut for me.” Your other hand firmly squeezes his asscheek, adding to that pressure. “I wonder what the crew would think seein’ you this, getting your ass fucked by your girl.” 
The bed squeaks from the way you’re rutting into him and how he moves his hips back to meet your thrusts. Zoro doesn’t give a shit if the crew hears. He doesn’t care if the entire Grand Blue hears him getting his asshole fucked. He just wants to cum. He needs to cum. “God, baby!” he brokenly moans. “I’m gonna cum, Mistress! I’m so fuckin’ close!” He moves his calloused hand along his dick so fast that it comes nothing more than a blur as you continue to stimulate his prostate and fondle his balls. 
“Cum for me, Zoro,” you moan with him. “Cum with me. Give it to me, baby boy.” Your whimpers and gasps mean you’re close too. He can hardly believe it: he’s going to cum from getting his ass fucked. And you’re going to cum with him.
He has never felt so close to you before than now, letting you have his body as your very own. “Please cum with me, mama,” he groans. “Cum with your baby boy, please!” 
It’s too much for you and you feel your orgasm explode throughout your body, coating the rod inside of you in your cream the way you do Zoro’s cock. Zoro’s own orgasm hits him like a truck, slamming into him and ripping all of his energy from him.
“Oh, my God!” he roars, practically screaming through his mind-blowing, explosive orgasm that rocks his world and his entire being. He clenches around the strap hard as spurt after spurt of cum leaves his cock, emptying out into his hand and the mattress. He feels like he is flying, his body feeling floaty and tingly. 
You ride him for a short while in sloppy, long strokes until you finally come down from your high. After his orgasm fades, he groans and finally slumps against the bed, feeling sticky, achy, and absolutely satisfied. You pull out and unhook the strap from around your pelvis before laying down beside him. You both breathe heavily as one, staring up at the ceiling. Silence swells around you both and then, all at once, you erupt in hysterical laughter. 
Zoro’s body shakes with laughter as the reality of what just happened sets in. “That was…that was…” You can’t even speak, still trying to recover.
“Fuckin’ amazing,” he finishes through a little laugh. And it was! Though he is always satisfied fucking your sweet pussy, this feels so different. He feels like tonight was a peek of heaven. 
You turn over onto your side to face him, your beautiful body coated in sweat and afterglow. 
“Are you sore?” you gently ask. “I can use the oil to ease it.” He slowly shakes his head. Though his hole feels slightly sore and stretched from the constant stimulation, he doesn’t want to worry about that right now.
“No, m’fine,” he sighs. “Better than ever, actually.” You smile joyfully at him, making his heart ache at your beauty. “So your first time being pegged was a success,” you giggle. “Come here, stud. You look like you need a snuggle.” 
You don’t need to tell him twice. He opens his big arms for you, allowing you to enter them and wrap your arms around his bigger frame as your head falls onto his chest. Your eyes flutter closed and a small smile stretches across your lips at the sound of his thundering heart against your ear. In the silence and afterglow of the sex, Zoro feels like he can peel back the layers of himself to you. He can be all the way real with you. 
He clears his throat, catching your attention. “Hey, uh…I kinda liked the whole sub thing,” he confesses. “I think I wanna do this again another night. Maybe not just the butt stuff, but you domming me. It’s kinda sexy.” You look up at him then in the dimly-lit room, surprise all over your face. “Do you think we can?” he whispers, his heart leaping in anticipation for your answer. 
If happiness was a person, it would be you in this moment. Your eyes brighten and a wide, gorgeous smile stretches across your lips as you stroke his face. “Oh, Zo,” you coo.
You open your mouth to say more, but the sound of a knock above the headboard makes you squeak in fear. Instinctively, Zoro reacts by jumping off of the mattress, ready to reach for his sword leaning against the wall beside him. 
“If you do it just make sure none of us can hear it,” Sanji calls from the other side of the bedroom wall above the headboard. 
“We heard everything!” Nami tiredly groans from the wall on the other side of the room. “Zoro’s screams woke us up. I had to cover Chopper’s ears so he wouldn’t hear anything!” 
“I don’t know, I thought it was kind of sweet,” Robin giggles. 
“Shit, I didn’t!” Usopp complains. “How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep?!” 
“Zoro, I didn’t know you could get that loud!” Brook laughs. “Have you ever considered singing by any chance, yo, ho, ho!”
“Brook, shut the hell up,” Jimbei groans. 
“I thought you were killin’ the poor guy, Y/N!” Franky laughs. “Good on you, Zoro, man! Explore more sexy stuff with your amazing girlfriend! I support it!” 
A knock comes from outside the bedroom door, making Zoro throw the comforter over your naked form. “Zoro, Y/N, can I borrow some of that coconut oil you got in there?!” Luffy yells. 
Zoro groans, running a hand over his face while you hide your embarrassed smile behind your hand. “Should I kill them now or later?” he sighs, turning to you. You giggle, sitting up on the bed and letting the comforter fall from your luscious tits with your pretty, brown nipples, hardened to peaks now. “If you do that, we may not have time for round two,” you purr. 
Zoro raises an eyebrow at your words and the suggestive tone in your voice. “Oh, yeah?” he teasingly asks. He reaches over and squeezes your cheeks together the way you like, making those plump, soft lips pucker. “You wanna give ‘em somethin’ else to complain about, hm?” he whispers. “I think you can get a lot louder than me. You think, mama?” 
He releases his hand from your cheeks to let you answer, your brown eyes blown with lust and need. “Let’s find out,” you purr. 
That night, Zoro ends up fucking you and making you cum till you pass out. And yes, the crew isn’t happy about it, but you’re too unconscious to listen to Nami and Sanji banging on your bedroom door. 
THE END.
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tkblythofficial · 23 days
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I like T but as a woman I would always put myself in the shoes of other girls. Like look at R and BB, two gorgeous and talented women wasting their time with emotional distant men. idc what y'all say about T, like I love him as an actor but as a man hes a typical heterosexual one, those rumors and photos of him with other girls don't sit well with me, ppl delude themselves with the idea of T + BB being open but he's the only one liking others girls pics/hanging out other women. BB might not be famous but the theater world is super small, if she was screwing someone else we've known by now trust me. Not matter how fine a man is, I would never compromise my self esteem and self respect for someone who claims to love me. That is BB's tragedy... not setting real boundaries and calling the shots on T, if I was her, it's "either you chose me and our relationship and fight for what we have even during long distance or we're done"
R's case is more complex cause she's literally a grooming victim that sees J as her savior and anchor through hardships. She gaslights herself thinking a man that puts a barely there effort to support her publicly is okay because he's been there the longest. Also I think she wants to replicate what her parents have (older man/younger woman who are best friends and spend their life together) very romantic and poetic....she strikes me as someone who's extremely romantic maybe cause she's young. sadly in this profession nothing is forever and nothing is romantic. Hopefully once the SW controversy comes to an end and she starts booking other types of roles she grows out her co-dependency with the boar and moves to a better man, if she's attracted to older men fine, there's plenty of better suited men than someone who dated her while she was senior in high school.
“but as a man hes a typical heterosexual one, those rumors and photos of him with other girls don't sit well with me, ppl delude themselves with the idea of T + BB being open but he's the only one liking others girls pics/hanging out other women.”
I like people delulu themselves because of BB tbh. She’s taking the disrespect and looking the other way about things. It’s not even about him being famous, it seems like he did this before fame too. A popular theory is that they didn’t start off being that serious but she wanted to be more serious as time went on and he didn’t. Open or not, once you open Pandora’s box, you can’t close it. I think that’s what happened with BB.
And now he’s more famous, has more options so it’s even harder for her to vocalize what she wants because she doesn’t want to lose him. Also I’ve noticed that when women (some I should say) put in a LOT of time with a man and watches him grow, they don’t want to start over. I’m sure it’s pretty hard for her to see how he is now vs how he was before fame. She’s in love with someone whose life changed in a year.
I’m hoping she’s giving him space to be himself and navigate his new fame but I’m sure she has a deadline for when she will be officially be fed up with him. I’m going to say by her next birthday since people usually reflect and make changesthen.
“BB might not be famous but the theater world is super small, if she was screwing someone else we've known by now trust me.”
I completely agree. Especially in NYC. That’s a messy and gossip group lol. But that’s her mistake. I’m sure she has options.
“Not matter how fine a man is, I would never compromise my self esteem and self respect for someone who claims to love me. That is BB's tragedy... not setting real boundaries and calling the shots on T, if I was her, it's "either you chose me and our relationship and fight for what we have even during long distance or we're done"”
T would walk away before you finished that sentence 💀
And about R, I agree that’s she’s codependent and a romantic. She’s young so I have faith that soon she will really break up with J and start living her life. Unfortunately I see this going on for 2-3 more years. Please god let me be wrong.
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blubblubisdead2me · 1 year
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What your favorite interests (also other than ones listed on your pages) and also how did you got into touhou in the first place as well as your favorite characters, music, games, etc from it as well?
this is my certified lore post y'all get ready
firstly thank u very much for the ask hedgypipes i appreciate u HERE WE GO
so basically im a big art nerd, that's what i love, always been drawing since i was baby
I LOVE TWICE THE KPOP GROUP??? SO MUCH ???? but i only started properly listening to them this year <3 i always wanna reblog stuff of them but this is just not that kind of blog tbh
I LOVE INDIE HORROR GAMES LIKE CHILLA'S ART IS JUST MWAH but no scary ghosts pls i cant😭
i first got into touhou in 2017 when i heard my classmate listening to bad apple and i was like "WOAH" and they were like "you DON'T know bad apple??? FREAK" and i was like "oh dear i must be cool and popular" so i went home and promptly made myself learn all the lore about the bad apple MV and a month later i started playing imperishable night
i really love the touhou games, i've given all of them a go at one point. my favourites to play are DDC, PCB, and HSiFS. I've only ever normal 1CC'd LLS, AoCF and UDoALG LMAOOOOO BUT IN MY DEFENCE I
i made a pretty detailed post about my favourite characters already but u have to scroll rly far and also i cringe every time i have to look at my posts so heres a recap:
marisa (shes so wife), renko, sumireko, okina, and seija <3 OH AND YUUKA
asking me about the music is so wild u have opened pandoras box but its okay i got it i will try to stay calm so heres my top 5 1. Tiny Shangri-La (Son Biten's Theme) 2. Where is that Bustling Marketplace Now ~ Immemorial Marketeers (Chimata Tenkyuu's Theme) 3. Phantom Band ~ Phantom Ensemble (Prismriver Sisters' Theme) 4. Illusionary Joururi (Benben & Yatsuhashi Tsukumo's Theme) 5. Bell of Avici ~ Infinite Nightmare (DS Photo Theme 4)
i've gotten around to most of ZUN's music sparing the very most obscure stuff from his manga CDs and some of the '99 arranges from his old website. i have magical astronomy and changeability of strange dream in my cd collection 🥰 OH and my favourite manga is definitely forbidden scrollery, but i loved wild and horned hermit too n plan to re-read it soon
tl;dr thank u i wouldn't either THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!! I APPRECIATE IT A LOT!!!!
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Text
For those of you who were wondering if my memory of The Scottish Chiefs by Jane Porter as 'stabbings and secret passages!' was accurate... well, I did a reread, with Wikipedia open in a browser tab pretty much the whole time. :p
Buckle up! This got long, but not as long as the novel... (And there are some, hmm, shifts of opinion as I go so that's fun too!)
We begin by noting that our author lived from 1775 to 1850!
"...purchasing life at the price of all that makes life estimable--liberty and honor." --*squints at the dates* see also, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?? *checks Wikipedia* Ah, she IS Scottish, and not an American writer... Wait, abridged versions were popular with children... which one did I read?? Which one am I reading now???!
*switches to a scan of an 1857 edition*
"...the spirit of one brave man remained unsubdued." --Smol!Mel is making heart eyes already.
He's living in seclusion! He loves his wife! Her name is Marion!! This is peak Romance, y'all! And we're only on the second page. ;))
Hmm, I don't remember this Monteith guy as a fave, so he might be brave and true and all that but if I were an English captain at the castle _I_ would find the silence of the friends and the motions for more silence Highly Suspicious, and so I am come to the conclusion that Monteith is not the brightest guy in the conspiracy. Which has yet to be revealed to Our Hero.
Oooh, I remember this Pandora's box--wait. Wait! Wallace is steadfast in "I agreed to hold it unopened." There is no if, and, but, or. Is this an early example of the type of character who "If I found it on the road would not take it"?!
"...no time must now be lost in unavailing lamentation." --We've already spent more time mourning the murder than doing anything at all to prevent it!! *grumbles in furious reader* By modern conventions, we would have spent a lot more time assuring the audience the violence was an unexpected anomaly and that no one in the household was able to intervene. OR there would have been a much more convoluted explanation for remaining behind to face a known danger.
...oh, to be as blasé as Lord Mar after his adventure in the well. XD
zootopia_bloodbloodblood.gif -- So. That happened. o_O
Enter Lady Mar, asking reasonable questions and being framed by the narrative as ungrateful and unfeeling. Cruel world for a woman who just wants assurance her husband has looked two, maybe three steps ahead before hazarding his life and hers. :(
Enter Helen! Enter Andrew Murray! Beloveds of Smol!Mel! And the banner, which Helen worked with her own sweet hands! *heart eyes intensify*
"If I have no influence with a husband, it would be madness to expect it over a more distant kindred." --petition to see the version of the story where cooler heads (aka Lady Joanna Mar) prevail and are allowed to strategize before setting off to save Scotland. She's not just saying her husband shouldn't go, she's trying to find a way he could conceivably win! And he hasn't done her the courtesy of listening to what she has to say, and Helen, all fired up with dreams of the supremacy of a just cause and also glory, isn't really listening either. :(
Secret tunnel!! Coolest escape route ever!! (Though, uh, one does begin to wonder why anyone bothers with a castle when they are so easy to over-run... And was it not mere pages ago that Lord Mar was saying he could hold this castle indefinitely? XD )
...what's better than a secret tunnel? TWO secret tunnels!!!
Oh, sure, when a MAN expresses discontent with the idea of an uprising it turns into a dialogue, but when I, Lady Joanna Mar--
"The forebearance of tyrants is not that of mercy, but of convenience." -- !!
Ah. I'd forgotten Lady Mar's treachery and the kidnapping of Helen. :( :/ I suppose this helps explain why Lady Mar was not ranked among smol!Mel's favorites... :( (Though if the other major plot involving this lady goes as I recall, smol!Mel was in the right.)
(stabbings to date: A LOT. I should have started a chicken scratch tally. I think Helen vs Soulis is at least number eight. :/ )
WHY did you break camp when a storm was about to break?? Why did you keep going??? Why? You didn't even pose dramatically! *crosses arms* You're going to lose your captive if you keep this up, you know.
o_O HOW does the guy who has just been stabbed TWICE survive whereas the poor woman he SLAPS expires on the spot???
The opening descriptions in "The Glen of Stones" are <3 <3 <3. Stop the book, I'm staying in this moment.
Oooh, I KNOW Smol!Mel entirely missed the significance of visiting the former abbot of Scone. *squeaks in excited reader* The abbot of Scone!! The pillar of Jacob, where the kings are crowned! iunderstoodthatreference.jpg vs the previous allusion to the Bard of Morven and Oscar which I am going off to look up...
...Okay, so this seems to map to Ossian, (presumably no surprise that there's a shrine to him at the Hermitage* which is where this bit of story happens??) who seems to have been Very Popular in the early 1800s. Further research is required, as well as sticking some pins in a map to see who did what where**... But! Oscar seems to have been Ossian's son; as well as the namesake of the contemporary Prince of Sweden.
*LATER: Not that Hermitage, interesting as it is, but this Hermitage--the second one is indeed far more foreboding
**ALSO LATER: no pins were stuck in a map, so my geographical sense remains nonexistent
*squishes the characters' cheeks* Look at you, all noble and generous, NOT PRYING, not asking simple questions like, oh, "What's your name?" XD XD XD (I mean, sure, if you're going to keep your identity a secret, Helen, it's only right you not ask the knight _his_ but once you tell him your father is Lord Mar _you should probably ask the man_. Y'know, something polite like, "Whom shall I commend to heaven for his efforts on my father's behalf?" XD ) (I am EAGERLY awaiting an explanation for the "he is besieged! no he's not, he's across(?) the country!" plot we've got going here...) (I also think I should maybe have a serious thought about Helen saying, "Don't tell my cousin!" but it is framed as "I'm fine, I don't want him to do anything rash," rather than shame...but still... :/ )
Y'know what would have been really fun? If the abbot had included Margaret, Maid of Norway in his history lesson... (Meanwhile Smol!Mel has heart eyes for Robert Bruce...) And the philosophy of freedom _still_ sounds like an echo of the American Founding Fathers, though I can't say if it's a direct echo or a bounce-back from current interpretations.
"Till he reveals his own secret, for us to divulge it would be folly and dishonor." --Folly indeed since I am operating under the assumption that the characters are wrong about who the knight is but I just don't know if that's a memory or if I'm guessing too. XD
Anyway! We've made it through the first sixth of the book! There have been stabbings! Hidden doors! Secret passages! Two thunderstorms! Kidnapping! Escape! A proto-Faramir! Can this possibly get any more exciting???
What's this? A funeral procession?! *squeals in excited reader* I remember this ruse from Ivanhoe!!! C'mon, what's his name, what's his naaaaaaame...!! IT IS! Edwin my beloved!!!! My faaaaaave!!! I had forgotten you made such a magnificent entrance. <3 <3 <3 (Also, can it be? Talk of actual strategy? Will wonders never cease?)
Already there are murmurs of, "Wallace for king," and he's shaking his head and not allowing the standard to dip. *flails* Also, babies. (Including Edwin, who just wants the honor of calling Wallace 'brother'--!!)
"Generous Kirkpatrick! ...Say what you will I can trust your heart from this moment." --This sounds like a _terrible_ idea. Remember your Spidey senses having you call Edwin away from this guy only this morning? Remember that?? That was a much better plan!
How does Kirkpatrick get taken prisoner twice in the same sortee? Does he go, "...I surrender! Oh, NEVERMIND!! ...no, no, really, I surrender?" o_O Honestly, when he says his friends had to hold him back after the governor insulted him--I don't think they had to try very hard. I think he's a braggart and a bully and is going to be A Problem. :/ Why does this guy get plot armor?? Why can't he just get conveniently stabbed?? Whhhhhhhhy?
...annnnnnnnnd Lady Mar is starstruck. :/ (All the characters are like, "Hurrah! A victory!" and I'm over here going, "Oh, you got trouble, right here in River City..." on at least a couple of different plot threads. :p )
*grits teeth all the way through Lady Mar's machinations* (Also, the death of _her_ infant daughter merits only a sentence--and only from her? Rude. In some ways it's no wonder she's acting out. :( ) (And, granted, Edwin and the cousins are no less obsessive, they just happen to channel their obsession a _little_ more...constructively... :/ )
"...beating their whelming waters with his invincible arm, soon gained the vessel and jumped on the deck." --Unfortunately for the Dramatic Atmosphere of the scene I am sniggering at this description. :p (But also, look! An occurrence of 'whelming' on its own! In its natural habitat so to speak! They're so rare these days. ^_^ ) (And I'll make a kind notation on the fact that the first thing they did on reaching safety was return thanks to God. Also a rare occurrence in fiction these days.) (Actually I'm going to come back to this sequence... Our pastor is going through Proverbs and talking about the power of the tongue, and I thought about how Wallace gets paragraphs dedicated to his efforts, and how great he is, and Lord Mar gets _a sentence_ about how his knowledge of the shoreline keeps them alive. And given that this section we're more-or-less in Lady Mar's POV, this unbalance kind of makes sense, but also--WHAT IF SHE WERE TALKING UP HER HUSBAND INSTEAD? :( )
Oh look. It's Monteith. He's a musician? of some skill? (guess he's got to be good at something) and has, somehow, survived the massacre at Ayr. *remains unimpressed by the fellow*
And we end the first third of the book with the English king's son-in-law vowing not to return to Scotland except in peace. Things are looking up for our heroes? Except for all these incidents of retribution that keep happening?
Wait. Is Isabella only Helen's half-sister? And Lady Mar is the third wife?? (This is the second reference to a character I DO NOT REMEMBER so I don't know if we just keep getting offhand mentions of her, or if she ends up being Plot Relevant at some point... XD )
Lord Mar, damsel in distress. Again. SOMEONE LET THE MAN REST AND HEAL FROM BEING STABBED ON PAGE THREE. And yet, plot armor continues to keep his head attached to his shoulders when other folks just get theirs whacked off not twenty minutes after chatting with some other character...
((I finally pulled out my childhood copy and discovered it was edited by no less august personages than Kate Douglas Wiggen and her sister. They call out the original publication date in the forward but this clearly made no impression on Smol!Mel. My suspicion was correct; one of the things removed was an aside calling Soulis out as a supposed necromancer. Again, very different from modern novels where that would _not_ be the very worst thing you could possibly say about someone; and if you _did_ it would work back in to the plot in some horrifying or heroic fashion. My quick skim says the ladies did an excellent job of trimming extra verbiage and preserving the spirit of the tale--but I would argue they didn't have to cut as many footnotes as they did.))
Edwin has been stabbed while saving Wallace's life, alack, alas! (Tis but a scratch, he's probably fine. <_< ) Meanwhile, de Valance pulls a Kirkpatrick and snatches his life from an earned death in fair combat by begging a mercy he himself would not offer. Twice. But at least he's sticking to once a battle. (Do we still write these moments where mercy triumphs over justice and vengeance? Or do we stick to the safer exchange of swords between two honorable opponents? I'm drawing a blank, though I think I could come up with someone getting stabbed in the back by a treacherous opponent?)
...Lord Mar is Not Having A Good Day. To be fair, neither is anyone else at Stirling, but... :/ (Kirkpatrick is probably frothing at the mouth at the latest power plays by his arch-nemesis, Cressingham, but there is a certain satisfaction in knowing that de Valance is worth something as a counter hostage, even if it's primarily because Cressingham doesn't want to deal with the fall out back home!! Who cares if the Scots break the wall and kill us all in revenge, I can't bear the thought of surviving and being shunned... XD )
Secret tunnel!
...and Kirkpatrick horrifies the nice young earl who came to surrender; and no wonder as he's been exalting in his revenge. Will Kirkpatrick now recall his promise and settle down? Will he continue to be the problem child in the rebellion?? We just don't know. Meanwhile the English commanders surrender; the prisoners are saved, and we start drawing a web of who is in love with whom... I'm over here going !!! at the coming reveal of our "mystery knight" as well as Helen heaping coals of fire on her step-mother's head... *bites nails in distress* There is A LOT going on here and a lot of people are about to get some unpleasant surprises. :/
...contrast the reaction of the cousins to that of Lady Mar who is _still_ scheming. :/ something something self-control, fixing one's mind not on earthly things but on those above, true nobility, etc... There is very little subtlety here with the themes. XD
"After having displayed their efficiency in making a king, they would prove their independence by striving to pull him down the moment he made them feel his scepter." -- !!!! (This speech!! It and the imagery in this scene make me think of George Washington and I wish I knew if it were intentional!!) (Also can we pause to consider if the mystery knight HAD been nobility... o_O )
Oh? Interesting that Helen chooses cousin Edwin to be her proxy in looking after Wallace, though it could be argued the kid has already taken the role on so nobody will notice the difference... XD
Buchan? Huntingtower?! (In Scotland? It's more likely than you think. XD *laughs at self*)
I keep hoping that the classical allusion to Lady Mar will be "Potifar's wife"... She continues to be an example of a powerful and influential woman only she's using these gifts for silly and selfish reasons! As a modern reader I would love to see, say, Lady Ruthven shown as her foil--performing similar acts but _in support of her husband and the cause_ instead of just Helen rationalizing the letter that led to Helen's kidnapping as a misguided effort to save the family... [something something role of women + evil stepmother... but I don't have a coherent thought yet]
And the web spins wider; again a fascinating look at how conventions have changed, a more modern author would have shown the bulk of the de Valance's musings as they occurred instead of holding back until this point in the story. However...it is more about the impact this is going to have on the returning Wallace than anything else, so...
Smol!Mel is _still_ screaming about the return to the banquet hall after the double stabbing in the chapel. ICONIC. UNPARALLELED.
(Halfway mark.)
These provisions for individual liberties! The army being set to rebuild villages! Jane, Jane, I'm begging you, _who were you reading?_ and WHY have we not mentioned that Edward is, like, the brother-in-law of the previous king?? Did you feel his claim to an interest in Scotland so tenuous as to not merit a mention? Because otherwise family ties are super important to you--Lord Arundel derives merit from _his_ brother-in-law... And then there is the Mar/Murray/Ruthven + whatever Lady Mar has going on with her kin...
Okay, so the English church, unsurprisingly, is not a fan of Wallace, but how does the Scottish church feel about the declaration of this English bishop?? Are they all, like the Abbot of Scone, just out somewhere in the wilderness?? I don't know my church history well enough to say if we're seeing contemporary-to-the-1800s ideas about faith on display or if this was what they thought the church looked like 400 years prior...
"...proud folly in a woman, otherwise of shrewd understanding..." -- Ha! Textual confirmation of Lady Mar's abilities as well as the narrative calling her on her actions
Oh no. I'm going to have to actually think about relative ages. :/ OK. So Lord Mar's age was eventually given as 60. Lady Mar was introduced as a "well-preserved" early 30s mother of infant twins. Helen, daughter of the first wife, can't be more than 25 and might still be under 20 (come to think of it, Soulis is supposed to have offered for her hand when she was 14 and it can't be too many years later unless they were visiting the English court at the time??). Compare Wallace, early 30s, married to his childhood sweetheart and expecting his first child, universally remarked on as a youthful commander (though older than some of his lieutenants who seem to be drawn from his contemporaries). Lord Mar has a (presumably younger) sister with a fifteen-year-old son. These data points make having your first kid in your thirties sound normal which makes the jab of "well-preserved" an uncalled-for insult because the English governor wanted to hand Marion out as a prize and _they should be roughly contemporary_!! ...where was I going with this? XD somewhere about how Lady Mar can quit whining about her age but also the narrative is unkind to her? OH! There it is, she says she was quite a child when she married Lord Mar. WELL. There's also Isabella who is younger than Helen and they can't have been married longer than Isabella is old...and she's 15? depends on how old Helen actually is? Lady Mar may have a valid point but also shouldn't her kids be older as well?
I've been side-eying the famine/plenty flourishes since it took what seemed like three days to render a settlement, on their own grounds and presumably thrifty, starving by the addition of _one_ outlaw. And now, even with the English plunder, we ought to be looking at tight belts nationwide if there was no Scottish harvest??
How is this unstinting adulation not going to our hero's head? O_o On one hand it's kind of sweet and on the other it is very much Too Much.
But wait. Be there foreshadowings of Doom as we await Edward and his armies? :o (Oh hey! Finally!! We acknowledge kinship between Alexander and Edward! And we keep going because it's barely an aside! Now granted, I myself only thought of this over halfway through, but shouldn't it have come up in the first discussion of how Baloil ended up on the throne??)
Oh ho ho, we have Lady Mar backstory!! And ages! Lord Mar had one previous wife, so Helen and the still-off-page Isabella _are_ full sisters and Helen is only two years older than Isabella. Our current Lady Mar was nineteen when she married (and seems to have conveniently forgotten the ultimatum "I shall _die_ if I marry anyone else!" she gave her father when he suggested a different alliance :p ) which means... 32-19=13...she married a guy who was 47... and Helen is...only 15. :/ I was going to say 16 but talked myself into guessing more so yay for me? But if Soulis with the marriage-proposal-at 14 wasn't SUPER sketchy (and he IS/(was? I can't recall off-hand if he's been permanently removed from the active cast which would argue he's lurking somewhere to show up again)), than our over-dramatic Joanna has been showered with all good things and refuses to recognize it. (This _still_ puts Joanna and Marion at having their first kids in their 30s...) (And I love how Joanna's cousin is like, "I have pointed out that your proposed course of action is invalid on these various points" and when she nods at the appropriate places congratulates himself on a job well done. Meanwhile _all_ his cousins are like, "We reject this reasonable view of our various pet projects and will trouble you no more." :p )
(Oh and there's a conspiracy going on! Because we can't have nice things!)
"He will not be called a king; because, with our crown certain limitations are placed on the prerogative; but he will be our regent, that he may be our dictator, and every day demand gratitude for voluntary services, which, performed as a king, could only be considered as his duty!" -- an interesting perspective from the conspiracy
No! Not a Bruce in Edward's lines! :o :o :o
The wood! The wood! The end of the world!
...And we take a dire turn toward tragedy. Or perhaps, we made that turn at the beginning of the battle, and we have now plunged into the Valley of the Shadow of Death. :/
(Smol!Mel is agog over the feat of sword-splintering)(and also Concerned over Helen's current whereabouts if even the Bruce are held prisoners at the moment...)
"Aunt! He has a Divine Master, whose example he follows, though in deep humility! He lays down his power; it is not taken from him." -- !!!!!!!!!!!!
"I pity you now, aunt," replied he. "But you bewilder me. ...Surely, love comes not in a whirlwind, to seize the soul at once; but grows by degrees, according to the development of the virtues of the object, and the freedom we give ourselves in the contemplation:--and if it be virtue that you love in Sir William Wallace, had you not virtue in your noble husband?" -- Edwin gets some of the best speeches AND a scathing commentary on the adultery trope. <3 <3 <3 ("Listen up, kids. Infidelity is NOT love." -- Jane Porter, circa 1809, modern paraphrase)
Oh? We get to enter the court of the king of England in disguise? In hopes of rescuing Helen? And meet up with a certain _royal_ prisoner? *delighted reader*
A SECRET PASSAGE?! <3
O_o Rabid jealousy is not a good look for a king. Neither is the notion that he cannot discern the character of the men who brought the accusation and go, "...nah, I think I'll take my wife and sister at their word." :( (On the other hand, he accepts the word of his bitter enemy? Shades of Saul and David in the cave, perhaps??)(Also, much as it pains me to say it, my Not-Fave Monteith might be better at the whole 'Act Natural' shtick than the prince-in-mourning-and-under-arrest...and Monteith was _really really bad_. XD But at least _he_ erred on the side of keeping his mouth shut. XD )
Murdering pirates is good. :p As is the wardrobe and equippage upgrade. :p (Smol!Mel would like to protest that the Idea of a Knight on an Arabian steed is the stuff of a thousand doodles, and...I can not argue on that point. :p)
Thunderstorm! A stricken traveller! A CHANCE MEETING!!!!!!!! *flails* Who could have seen it coming!!!!! (Although, again, I have some serious concerns about the weather forecasting abilities of ANYONE involved in a thunderstorm scene. *shakes head* Like, y'all could at least NOT be surprised. Or at least pretend you thought the storm would miss you! XD )
"I will decide" -- a bit arrogant, yeah? considering you had _just_ been urged to let God make you a king like Solomon instead of desiring glory on the battlefield? under these circumstances you claim there is an actual choice to make??
"If to be beloved is a source of joy, you must be peculiarly blessed" -- I can't decide if this is a wonderful compliment to give someone or if it's just an odd way of saying that person has a lot of good friends
Oh, so now it's laudable for the prince to take the field?? What happened to that fine speech about Solomon? (Also these castles switch hands at the drop of a hat... No siege warfare here...)
"Beware, then, my dear prince, of changing the simple habits of the simple habits of those virtuous mountaineers. Introduce the luxurious cultivation of France... [and] you will infect them with artificial wants..." -- On one hand I am all in favor of living content with what you have, but on the other is it not Biblical to flourish??
((somewhere in here the lovely and mysterious Isabella makes a brief cameo))
*eyes the Knight of the Green Plume with _deep_ suspicion* *is proved correct mere pages later* :/ You could have been great, Joanna... :(
'Tis but a mild stabbing, a mere physical wound, compared to the jealous power of the tongue. XD
(I complain there are no sieges, and we get one the very next moment! XD )
(This impersonating a pirate/reclaiming the kingdom business has been so engaging I missed the three-quarter mark; we are rapidly approaching the final sixth of the book. !! )
"Never while I live, will I consent to loose sight of you again!" -- Edwin!! Don't _say_ that!!
Oh hai, Kirkpatrick, is it you again? And is it your earlier bloody revenge that the false lords are using as an excuse to ignore you? Imagine that. :( (On one hand I find myself fond of Kirkpatrick: he's blunt and loyal, despite his savagery; he gets a few good zingers in, he's almost a loveable bear of a man. But first impressions hold strong, he has shown himself unchivalrous to his enemies, and it seems thematically sound to find him a bent reed in the end, foiled in his good intentions by his own unbridled passions. :/ )
Not me, a jaded reader who has seen betrayal many times before, making the surprised pikachu face during the trial...
And also look how FAST things fall apart. o_O *benoitblanc-compelsmethough.jpg*
Oh, it was de Valance who kidnapped Helen recently, not de Warren! I was confused there for a bit, thinking his passion easily enough forgotten when presented with... hmm... Other Opportunities. >_> That said, Edward's response of, "Why not get married tonight!" when presented with Joanna's scheme to Make Everyone Sorry is kind of hilarious. :p (I suppose the king believed the scheme advantageous and wanted to be certain neither de Warren or Joanna backed out, but there was zero hesitation there on Edward's part---not even a consideration of a potential double cross...)
...Mr. Wyeth, illustrator, sir; I believe the scene with the seer is at night, not in the afternoon.
Yeeesh, yet another victory for Wallace and now folks are all going, "eh, Edward would make an okay king after all..." ?!?
...while Edward sincerely?? suggests, "How about Ireland? Could you stop destroying my fabulous armies if I give you Ireland??"
*flails all over Wallace's speech to the English heralds* there is Christ-figure imagery invoked here and I am not skilled enough to comment coherently
RIP Ker, a man of great loyalty and few words... If only you'd been given a smidgen more character I would have adored you too
*yowls in distressed reader over the parting of friends and the exile's journey* again with the imagery and the symbolism on the tip of my tongue... It's evocative and effective... And then the visit to the ruined house and mourning the loss of his wife anew... sadkitten.jpg
Mmmmm...more symmetry since Monteith is back. (And do _I_ know what happened to his box? Did we leave it with a churchman in this area?? Not that he's asked for it, but if it's important and the guy to whom it was entrusted is now _persona non grata_... :/ )
Oooh, our first sprained ankle... Hey, what's this??! "Monteith nodded the same, and closed the door on his victims" --hmm, no, don't like the way that sentence ends... o_O
"Ill-deeds must sometimes be done; but we do not emblazon their perpetrators" -- even Edward has standards, I see... :/ (now, a modern author would be a bit more persnickety about timelines here because we seem to suddenly be moving a great many pieces in a very short time... :/ )
Oooooh, I KNEW that was going to go down... :(
Race against time, check. Resumed disguise, check. Pawning jewels, check. End game Romance is...??? (As a modern reader I do not know what to make of that speech or the obviously convoluted explanation of Why This Is Okay. XD I just... I don't know what to do with this. XD ;)) UM. Make that... Marriage of Convenience?? ? ??? )
Bruce is _still_ Really Bad at being in disguise and inconspicuous.
A king disguised as a monk, check... Backstabbing, check... Kirkpatrick gets to stab people...
Oh, so when the cousins adore Wallace it's 'veneration' but when I, Kirkpatrick, grieve his loss it's 'almost idolatry'???
St. Ninian's is a real place?! Did I know that??
Hmmm, so way back when, we did actually spend a lot of time mourning Lord Mar. And now Wallace's funeral gets top billing over both the coronation and Bruce and Isabella's wedding. And, technically, I suppose we give Marion's funeral plenty of attention as well. And the grandfather's burial. And the harper. (But Edwin gets a paragraph? Rude. He got more attention when he was pretending to be dead... oh. oh, hey. SYMMETRY of first and last appearances... That's very clever and goes in a "thanks I hate it" pile. XD ) Where was I going with this--ah, yes, an observation that all (two) in-story marriages are blink-and-you'll-miss-the-paragraph vs the much more conspicuous funerals. It's a very different sort of focus.
As is relegating the fate of the former Lady Mar to the appendix, after giving us a 'villain is driven mad by their own hubris' ending to her arc and then leaving it as an exercise for the reader as to how de Warren would handle a mad wife...
Someone else would probably have interesting things to say about the contrast of Helen in disguise as a page vs Joanna in disguise as a knight but I don't want to think up those thoughts, I just want to read them. XD (I still think Joanna had amazing potential to be a _vastly different character_; too bad she walked down the road she did. :( )
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scarlett-vixen · 2 years
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Vicious
a/n: This ended up being so much longer than I expected?? Geez I hope it's actually good. This is 100% the first ever fanfic I've written and actually posted somewhere please be gentle. I've gone over this so many times to make sure it's decent that it now seems dumb to me lmao anywaaay I hope y'all enjoy! I might do a second part to this if people actually enjoy it? I also had a lot of inspiration listening to this while writing: Ripping Me Apart
Summary: MC lashes out at dinner one night over what happened in the attic; later has a confrontation with Belphegor himself.
Warnings/Tags: spoilers for lesson 16, mentions of death, murder, suffocation, cussing, mentions of dead body, pissed off MC, angst I guess? if i forgot anything let me know!
Word Count: 5.1k Those who asked to be tagged in this monstrosity: @yaboihack @hornehlittleweeblet2 @talesfrom0pheliaa @dee-zbignuts The Apologies: Beelzebub, Satan, Mammon Asmodeus, Leviathan
"What doesn't kill me makes me Vicious" ~Halestorm
Seven months had passed since your arrival to the Devildom, in that time you had learned to live with the demons around you and started to become friends with them even. It helped to have another human around, if that’s what you could call him, even if he was a little sketchy at times. The angels were also a nice addition, they helped you remember that not everyone was trying to eat you. However, in your short time here, you had tempted fate and escaped death more times than you would have liked but somehow you were still alive and managing to keep up with your class work. The one thing you seemed to have messed up was trying to reunite a family of demons. Saying it out loud you realized how dumb it sounded, but at the time you thought it was a good idea. You knew what it was like to have a family torn apart over something stupid, maybe that’s why you felt so bad when Beelzebub had told you about his twin. Maybe you were trying to fix their family the way you wished you could fix yours…or maybe you were just bored. Either way you had gone to the attic and opened Pandora’s box it seemed, and in the end you suffered more than you ever imagined you would.
It had been three weeks since Belphegor had been freed from his attic prison. Three weeks since he had rejoined his brothers in the house and at RAD. Three weeks since your death… you try not to think about that part too much. You keep your mind occupied during the day by focusing on your work, making sure you get to dinner on time, you even got a job just to keep busy. At night though it was difficult to keep the memories away, you do your best to distract yourself so you can fall asleep, putting headphones in and listening to music or leaving the TV on just to fill the silence. It wouldn’t be as bad if the six demons that you spent so much time with weren’t acting as if nothing happened. The brothers all seem to have moved on, they go about their days like normal, like they never gathered around your limp body and as if Mammon hadn’t held you in his arms while you took your last breath. You're not about to start a fight with seven demons, considering how the fight with one had gone, but you also are not about to forgive so quickly. Belphie has tried to cozy up to you as if he didn’t strangle you with his own hands, like he didn’t laugh at you while you gasped for air. You don’t want to upset the others by drastically rejecting him (you’re the one who freed him after all) so you gently brush him off, removing yourself from situations that would leave you two alone. You had walked him to class that first day when his brothers all ditched him but once you arrived at RAD you had darted off to your classroom. You want to forgive him, you really do, that’s just who you are as a person. You consider seeing a therapist because you're pretty sure this counts as some kind of horrible trauma disorder but regardless, part of you wants to try and see the good in him. Nothing about the other six brothers behavior sits well with you though. Why are they all so casually ignoring the fact that the youngest had killed you only weeks prior?? Three of them had become very close friends to you, you spent most of your free time with them goofing off and getting into trouble. The other three you weren’t as close with but two had liked you enough to make pacts with you so why were they all so quick to forget the murder that happened?
You try to ignore it, to suck it up and keep your thoughts to yourself. “Only a few months left and then I go home” you try to tell yourself. But then it happened. The dinner where everything came to a head. It had been a pretty normal day, you were a little annoyed at the grade you received on a pop quiz but other than that everything was okay. The brothers were all happily discussing their days and that was fine, but then one of them made a mistake.
“Look at how well we’re all getting along! And it’s all thanks to MC!” and another had responded
“Yeah, we used to try and kill each other at every meal!”
That was it, the last straw. Maybe that quiz pissed you off more than you thought, or maybe you had just been holding back this anger for too long. Before you knew it you were laughing hysterically, eyes starting to water, face turning red. The room was silent aside from your laughter and all eyes were on you now, while you wanted to feel embarrassed by your own sudden outburst, the rage you felt was far stronger. You kept your eyes on your plate and could feel your fists clenching, your laughter dying off but the tears still trying to form in your eyes, you always hated being an angry crier.
“MC…. a-are you alright?”
Your head was spinning at this point, unaware of which brother was asking that absurd question, it could’ve been Levi or it could’ve been Asmo. At this point you didn’t care, the fire inside you was now blazing through your lungs and down into your stomach. You’d done so well to keep your composure down here, trying to not upset Lucifer by “disgracing him or Diavolo”, trying to behave and be the good and well put together human they thought you were. Fuck that.
“Alright? Am I alright?” You raised your head to finally meet the seven sets of eyes all watching you. “Did you seriously just ask…IF I WAS ALRIGHT??” Your voice was much higher pitched than you had anticipated at the end but at this point that was the least of your concerns.
“MC, darling- “
“Don’t ‘darling’ me!” They want to know how you feel? Fine, here comes seven months of built-up rage. “I was literally KILLED three weeks ago! And you wanna know if I’m alright think about that for a minute!” You felt the air in the room change, five demons now looking anywhere except at you. “I’ve been trying my best to keep up with my studies down here so I don’t disappoint Lord Diavolo or the exchange program while simultaneously playing family therapist for seven demons! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW IF I’M ALRIGHT!” You were standing now; your chair had flown back without you noticing.
“MC there’s no need to raise your voice nor is there need for this discussion during din-”
“YES THERE IS!” You snapped your head to stare down the first born. The fear you had felt that night in the catacombs when you shielded Luke and Beel was gone. The catacombs… that was the first time Lucifer had nearly killed you. You were protecting his younger brother and yet he had rushed you in his demon form and accused you of trying to bring harm to his family. You saw the shock in his face, not only had you dared to talk back, but you had also yelled at him. You could tell he was about to start arguing with you again. That’s not happening, not tonight.
“Since my first day here you’ve drilled into my head that if I ever brought harm to your brothers, if I ever went against you or Diavolo, or if I ever brought shame to the exchange program, you’d show me no mercy! So I’ve busted my ass to do well in my classes! I’ve attended every little event Diavolo has thrown, I’ve jumped through every hoop you and Diavolo have held up to me! I did my best to get along with your brothers and help them with their problems! Yet I guess that wasn’t good enough since you tried to kill me yourself three different times! You claim to be such a powerful demon and you act like the three worlds revolve around this exchange program SO WHERE WERE YOU WHEN BELPHEGOR HAD HIS HANDS AROUND YOUR PRECIOUS EXCHANGE STUDENTS THROAT AND THEY WERE LOSING AIR?!”
Lucifer winced at your words. How dare you speak to him like that, who did you think you were acting like this in front of his brothers? He wanted to retaliate, to put you in your place and make you remember who were talking to. But you were right, he had done all those things and more. Just when he thought you had shattered his pride as much as a human could, you started in again.
“WHERE WERE ANY OF YOU?” You whipped your head around to look at the rest, all of them avoiding your gaze. “You expect me to believe NONE of you heard the noise coming from the attic? That none of you HEARD ME SCREAMING?” you watched Beel tense up as your voice got louder. You had never yelled like this before; you’d never been angry like this with them. Part of you felt bad for Beelzebub, all he wanted was for his family to be whole again and for you to be a part of it…then you remembered how he almost killed you over a pudding and destroyed your bedroom in the process. You looked over at Asmo, Levi and Satan, all three looking at the floor trying their best to not make eye contact. Leviathan was on the verge of tears, his face a deep red and he started to sink lower into his chair, Asmodeus was picking at the sleeve of his sweater and biting his lip, Satan looked the most uncomfortable out of all the brothers, most likely trying his best to not turn into his demon form thanks to the rage you were giving off. You hadn’t noticed until now but you could feel his pact on you burning, the heat from it only made you angrier. You had made pacts with all but one by this point, five of them when the incident happened, yet none of them had been there to protect you. Protect you. You looked over to Mammon and quickly wished you hadn’t. The second born had one hand wrapped around his stomach and the other covering his mouth to muffle his sobs. His eyes were red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears, you could see him lightly shaking. You wanted so desperately to be angry with him as well but the best you could come up with was how rude he had been your first few weeks here and the fact that he too had dismissed Belphie’s actions. In all honesty he had been the nicest to you during your stay, you’d spent so much time together, he always made sure to include you in anything going on in the house. So why had he been so quick to forgive Belphie? That’s when the image came back to you, the one you had tried so desperately to forget, the one with your dying body. Walking in and seeing yourself beaten and bruised, laying in his arms. Oh god his arms! Mammon had been the one holding your broken body, tears running down his face as he caressed yours, trying so desperately to get you to stay with him. He had been the one to hold you as you took your final breath. That was why Mammon had dismissed it, he was trying to forget just like you were. The rage was growing again, this time with more ammo.
“You know what else pisses me off? The fact that all of you talk down and belittle Mammon and yet HE WAS THE ONE TO HOLD MY DYING BODY! You all act like he’s some heartless scumbag but he was the one who had to feel me actually die! I don’t want to hear any of you call him a scumbag ever again do you understand?” You knew you were getting off track, this was a speech for a different time and yet you received nods from all five brothers in your line of sight. At least they were listening, and all seemed ashamed, well…all but one. You could see him from the corner of your eye, you’d been avoiding him up until this point simply because that was how you’d spent the last three weeks, but now you could see him with that stupid smirk on his face. Was he enjoying his brothers misery? Or was he proud of what he had put you through? It didn’t matter, you had enough anger built up and you were ready to let it explode.
“You think this is funny? Is this all just some sick joke to you? Do you know how hurt Beelzebub was thinking you were off in the human world unhappy and against your will? You think you have all humans figured out, don’t you? We’re all just dumb little play toys for you, aren’t we? You don’t know a damn thing about me. I spent seven months getting to know your brothers and helping them reconnect and solve their problems! I felt bad for you being locked up there away from your family! I thought it was unfair that Lucifer would lock you away and then lie to your brothers! I wanted to help you! I TRUSTED YOU!” The smirk on Belphie’s face disappeared the moment you started in on him, replaced by a look of discomfort and embarrassment. Good, you wanted him to be hurt.
“And as a thank you for all that I did,” you put your hands on the table and leaned in towards him “you decided to put your hands around my throat and suffocate me until I blacked out. You dragged my body down from the attic and presented your kill like a proud hunting dog to your brothers that I’d spent months helping.” Your eyes narrowed and you clenched your fists once more, “Then you gave me the saddest excuse for an apology I’ve ever heard and immediately expected me to forgive you and suddenly act like we’ve been friends for years? No, absolutely not. Do you know why I made a pact with you so quickly after what happened? It wasn’t because I forgave you, it was so I could stop you if you ever tried to KILL ME AGAIN!” Belphie jumped at that last part, any joy he got from listening to you rip into his brothers had been smashed as you made him face the truth of his actions. You felt yourself shaking, the hot wet tears on your cheeks, your jaw clenched shut. You wanted to throw something, to break everything in the room, to scream at the top of your lungs in frustration. But you knew you had said enough, you were sure you’d be lectured by Lucifer later when he found the nerve, so you straightened up and closed your eyes. You took a deep breath and prepared to swallow your pride, something Lucifer could learn to do himself.
“If you’ll excuse me.” You turned sharply and headed straight to your room; you had considered saying sorry but quickly got over it. As soon as they heard your bedroom door shut, the brothers all took off to their own rooms, all but Lucifer who stayed at the table reviewing what had just happened in his mind. He let out a deep sigh and then placed his head in his hands, elbows propped up on the table, so much for the nice family dinner.
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While the others had all returned to their respective rooms, Belphegor had retreated to the attic, too ashamed to face his twin right now. He felt some comfort up there, away from the others and alone with his thoughts. Then his thoughts turned against him. He tried desperately to ignore them, tossing and turning on the bed, trying to just fall asleep and forget the entire evening but your words were echoing in his head “as thanks for all that I did” he squeezed his eyes shut. No, don’t do it. “You put your hands around my throat!” an image flashed in Belphie’s mind. Stop, please just let it go away. Belphie opened his eyes in hopes to make it all stop but instead it only intensified. In some cruel irony he had opened his eyes to face the exact spot it happened, and he could remember it all so vividly. You had begged and pleaded for him to stop but he kept going, taking every last ounce of oxygen you had. He remembered how it felt as you fought against his grip, you had kicked and clawed at him; he still had scratch marks on his arms that he kept covered. You had used all the strength you had left to fight back. And then you had gone limp.
“STOP IT!” Shocked by his own voice, Belphie covered his mouth. What had he done? You had been so genuine in your quest to free him, you had been nice to him from the very beginning, and he went and did that to you. He suddenly felt sick. Sitting up on the edge of the bed and gripping the sheets as if they’d save him from the guilt that was consuming him, Belphie now faced the door to his room. He remembered your first encounter, how you had seemed so concerned about his state of being and when you asked about his identity he lied. He remembered how you had come back after putting the pieces together and asked him why he had lied, and he told you about his fall out with Lucifer, and then lied some more to you. You put yourself through so much for him, for his brothers, for a bunch of demons who couldn’t solve their own problems, and all he had done up until now was lie to you. He had wanted to hate you so badly for no reason other than being human, he could remember the minute he had started putting his plan together and how he had felt knowing you would never be the wiser. But you kept coming back and it started getting harder to hate you. Every visit you would talk to him like he was an equal, unlike when Lucifer came by and spoke to him like a caged animal, and with every visit he became more frustrated and confused. You were just some human, part of the reason that they had lost Lilith, so why was it becoming harder to hate you? He could remember laying in bed staring at the attic ceiling, wondering what you were doing and what it was like to hang out with you. Did his brothers feel this way? Is that why three of them had formed pacts with you so easily? By the time he was freed his mind was a whirlpool of conflicting emotions, he hated the fact that it was no longer easy to be angry at you, he hated that you were so trusting, he hated Lucifer for putting him in that musty old room to start with. Before he knew it his hands were around your throat, everything during the moment felt like a blur, but now after being three weeks free and after watching you viciously tear into him and his brothers, remembering that moment happened in slow motion. Every noise you made seemed deafening and it was like he could feel your pulse dropping in his hands again. Then even after all of that, you had been the one to wait around and walk him to RAD his first day back and had been helping him repair his relationships with his brothers. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew his brothers had been avoiding him for good reason, he knew he fucked up, but he never expected you to be the only one to show him a sliver of kindness after what he did. At some point Belphie had slid off the bed, now he was kneeling on the floor fighting back tears, his throat felt tight and his body was starting to tremble. He had to fix this. ************************************************************************
Four hours had passed since your little outburst, yet you found yourself still riding the adrenaline high. Sleeping was pointless while you were this wound up so you had started reorganizing your room, not that it was helping you clear your mind. You were thrilled you had finally given them a piece of your mind, but you also knew now began the hardest part. You didn’t want to sever your ties with them, you enjoyed laughing and hanging out with the brothers, but you needed them to understand that dismissing what happened was NOT going to work. You started to wonder who the first to approach you would be, how long would it take before they looked at you without guilt covering their faces? You’d probably have to bully your way into Levi’s room in order to repair things with him. That was fine, he could wait, after all he also made an attempt on your life over a stupid contest. You were lost in your own thoughts but suddenly pulled back to reality when you heard a small noise outside your door. Walking closer you could make out the sound of someone quietly crying, you felt a sting in your chest and checked the time. Midnight, that meant it was either Beelzebub who had wandered over after getting his late-night snack or Mammon who would probably stay outside your room all night and then pretend he had just showed up when you came out for breakfast the next morning. You weighed your options and then decided, might as well start fixing things now since sleep was still evading you. You opened the door and prepared yourself for the sad puppy eyes of the second or sixth born but felt anxious when you discovered it was neither. Instead, standing outside your door with his hands shoved in the pockets of his sweatpants, was Belphie. He kept his head low and turned away from you, but you could still see his bloodshot eyes and the semi dried tear stains on his cheek, it was painfully obvious he had been crying much harder than he was now at some point.
“Do you need something?” your voice flat as you looked him up and down. He was in pajamas so he clearly had not planned on showing up here to pull something, but you kept your guard up.
“Can we talk?” his voice was barely audible and gave hints that he was on the verge of breaking. You shifted your weight as you stood in the doorway and thought about the question. While it sounded like some cheesy line from a bad sitcom and you thought about how fun it would be to slam the door in his face while he looked like a kicked puppy, you also considered how entertaining this might become. He came to your room to talk about something, and you wanted to find out what, but more importantly you wanted to see just how far you could push him in this state.
“Fine.” You moved out of the doorway and waited for him to enter; you could see him hesitate before doing so. It wasn’t until he stopped between your bed and the couch you had bought recently that you realized this was the first time he had actually been inside your room, he had stood out in the hall with Beel a few times when collecting you for dinner, but you had never invited him in. You watched as his eyes scanned your room and then landed on you, his form stiffening as he made eye contact.
“What do you want Belphie.” He shifted his gaze and whispered something in response.
“You’ll have to speak at a real volume, us humans don’t have the superior hearing you demon have I’m sure.” You were getting agitated again, it was late and he was wasting your time.
“I-I wanted to say…”
“Say what?”
“I’m trying to say…”
“Not trying very hard apparently!”
“Please just let me-“
“Let you what? Come up with some half assed apology again? Tell me another lie? Fool me enough to let my guard down so you can try and kill me again?? What do you want Belphegor? I’m not standing here all night while you waste my time SPIT IT OUT!”
“I’M SORRY ALRIGHT! I KNOW YOU DON’T CARE BUT I’M SORRY!”
You did it, without even trying you had pushed him over the edge. You watched him begin to fall apart, fat tears pouring from his eyes, his body starting to shake violently as he sobbed, you let him have his little breakdown.
“You didn’t d-deserve what I did! Y-you only wanted to h-help me and my brothers! I’m sorry! For every horrible thing I said and for putting you through that!”
You had to admit he was putting on one hell of a performance, you almost felt pity for him…almost.
“Can you ever forgive me for what I did?” his voice cracked this time.
Oh? So that’s his little goal, he came down here seeking forgiveness? He wants to put on a show in hopes that you’ll forgive him for his actions. At least this performance was better than that sorry excuse of an apology he had given you in front of the others. But why now? He had literally murdered you three weeks ago and was furious when you appeared before his brothers as they gathered around your corpse, it wasn’t until Diavolo had told them about…Lilith… that’s what this was about.
“Why should I? So you can feel better about yourself? So your dead sister won’t hate you? That’s what this is all for right? So you won’t look bad in Lilith’s eyes?”
“N-no it has nothing to do with- “
“LIAR! You couldn’t care less about what I think, you said it yourself, I’m just some stupid human! This little show is all for HER! Well guess what? I’m. Not. LILITH!” You felt your anger come flooding back to you, your dead ancestor or whatever she was to you was the whole reason any of this was happening in the first place. The more you thought about her, about your entire situation down here, the more you could feel the fire inside you growing. Satan’s pact burning on your skin once more, the fear you once had was long dead, all you felt was a burning rage. You thought that by now, after all you had been through, your fight or flight instinct would autopilot to flight in the face of conflict, but in this moment your entire body was choosing fight. You had lost the first fight against Belphegor because he caught you off guard, but this time you were ready and even if he killed you again you were gonna make sure you left your mark. As mad as you were you also knew better than to start screaming again, that would only bring more of them to your room and right now you had the only demon you needed in your sights. Maybe you were just a little plaything to them, nothing more than an amusing pet, but they screwed up. Six of them made pacts with you, and the human with their pact mark controls said demon, right? You planned to find out soon enough. You started ripping into Belphie again, telling him off once more, reminding him exactly how it felt to die and then to see your dead body, without thinking you had started taking steps towards him and for every step you took forward he took one back. You could see the fear behind his eyes, tears still rolling down his cheeks and body continuing to shake. All these things were feeding something inside you, the arrogant demon who had stolen a part of you was now trembling in front of you for whatever reason. Before you knew it you had him trapped, his back pressed against the wall, Belphie was out of steps to take but you continued forward leaving a very small space between you.
“Admit that this is all for her. Admit that you don’t care about what I think of you!”
“It isn’t! Why won’t you believe me?”
He didn’t need an answer to that, and you knew it, so instead you decided to give into his little act.
“You want my forgiveness?”, you leaned in and your voice deepened “Then beg for it!”
You were almost positive you hadn’t used your pact on him, but you had to think hard on it with how quickly Belphegor dropped to his knees and began sobbing in desperation. He was begging and pleading for your forgiveness, his crying became more violent, the tears fell quickly off his face with a few trailing down his neck occasionally, his voice cracking with every plea. You knew this kind of crying all too well, the kind of cry you let out after a major heartbreak or betrayal; after all you had been in this same position yourself after the incident, the only difference being your face had been pressed into a pillow to quiet the screams and sobs. Nobody would fake this kind of crying, why would they want to? It was far too draining and always left you with a headache afterwards, which meant Belphie actually was trying to apologize. This time you did feel sorry for him, sorry that he had exposed this side of him to you. Now you knew he could be broken, you knew you had the power to bring him to his knees even without the pact. He had called you a ‘weak and pathetic human’ back then but who was the weak, pathetic bitch now?
“I-I’ll do whatever i-it takes to make this up to y-you, I-I’ll do anythi-ing!” He was gasping for air with every word it seemed, truly a pitiful thing to watch. You suddenly got an awful and twisted idea as you tilted your head slightly, you felt a small smile crawl onto your face and you softened your eyes.
“Don’t worry sweetheart, I know you will”, you leaned down so that your upper half was looming over his still trembling body. You took his face in your right hand, thumb wiping away tears on one cheek and your fingers pressing gently into the other, you made sure his eyes were locked on yours. “I’ll make sure of that.”
He wanted to make it up to you so badly? He wanted to be your friend? To be as close to you as his brothers were? Fine. But you were going to make him work for it and you’d make sure he worked hard for it too. He’d soon learn who he belonged to. After all, he had wanted the pact between you two, he had asked you to make him yours, so that's exactly what you would do.
“Do you understand?” Your voice was stern and your gaze showed no mercy. Belphie’s voice was shaky and his bottom lip started to quiver but he nodded quickly.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?” you tightened your grip on his face slightly.
“Yes, M-master.”
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marchiveeee · 2 years
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Candy and Castiel's relationship from Cas' POV
INSOMNIA MADE ME WRITE SOMETHING, Y'ALL.
This story happens between high school life and university life. Get some tissues, maybe? You've been warned.
_______________
He was on the process of packing his things to move to the new apartment, a bigger and fancier one. He should be excited about that achievement, but deep down, somehow, he felt something wasn't right.
Don't get it wrong, though; he was happy about it, but Castiel had an emotional attachment to that old apartment that he hadn't realized until that moment. His teenage years were spent there, there were so many memories, good and bad ones, connected to that place. And even though he was not the type of person to get attached easily, he had to admit that moving on from that place to a whole new cycle wasn't going to be as easy as he had imagined.
Castiel was sitting on the floor of his closet, going through his belongings and selecting what would go with him to the new apartment and what wouldn't. It was quite an easy task for him and at some point he moved almost on automatic, that was until he reached for a shoebox that had been hidden behind all his clothes.
His heart tightened the moment he saw it, that wasn't any box, he didn't use to keep this kind of stuff, so he knew exactly what he was holding.
For a minute, Castiel hesitated to open it, as if he was holding the Pandora's box, except for the fact that he knew exactly what would come when he opened it. "Well, fuck it...", he thought while lifting the lid to see the contents inside.
There were some folded notebook pages — none from any of the ones he used in school — with a round cursive handwriting taking over their surfaces. They were letters, love letters written for him by someone he used to love very much. That he loved very much, actually... It wasn't as if he was completely over it after all.
There were some pictures inside too, "she carried that old camera with her everywhere". Many other little items were inside that box, each one of them connect with special moments he had spent with Candy when they were together.
Holding that box brought many memories to him, but a specific one stood out from the others, it was the one of when he decided to start using that old box to keep those cherished objects.
The day had suddenly become rainy, ruining the plans they had made for their date. That wasn't a big deal though, in the end they both just wanted to spend some good time with the other, so they decided to spend the day in his apartment instead.
Candy and he were laying on his bed, she was on her back laughing at something he had said, Castiel was on his side, one arm holding her by the waist, the other supporting his head while he looked down at his girlfriend with a warm smile on his face.
"You're so silly for laughing at things like this so easily, little girl" he said jokingly.
She wiped some tears off her eyes for laughing so hard and looked at him in the eyes, "I guess it's part of my charm", she then said smiling. That damn smile... He just couldn't resist it, it was one of the things that made him fall for her after all. It was his turn to laugh at her snarky comment, lowering himself to give her a little kiss on the forehead.
She hummed softly, and reached a hand to his face when he got back to his previous position, her fingers caressed him gently. Both of them kept the warm smiles on their faces.
"Can I tell you a secret?" She said blushing a little, but never taking her eyes of his own.
"Well, now you'll have to. But if you're going to say you love me to the moon and back, I'm afraid that's not really a secret".
"Shut up," she said breaking their eye contact, her soft smile still on her face. "I guess it's strange..." She continued, "but I've been keeping some small things from our dates, you know?".
"Oh, like what?", He couldn't avoid raising his eyebrows, surprised by her sudden comment.
"I don't know, they are all really random. It can be tickets from the movies, a photograph, a napkin from a cafe, a clean one of course. It could be literally anything, I just like to keep them, so I never forget the little things we usually let go. I even kept the receipt from that restaurant with the terrible food".
Oh...
"You don't think it's strange, do you?", There was a small line of concern forming between her furrowed brows.
"Maybe a little bit...". The obvious lie showing through his voice. Candy snapped her tongue at that, rolling her eyes.
"You're impossible, Castiel".
"I know," he scoffed, "it's part of my charm".
She rolled her eyes again at that, face palming just to try to hide the smile and the blush on her face.
With the hand he had kept on her waist all along, he removed her hand from her face, making her look back at him again.
"I love you. You know that, right?" He wasn't lying this time, he wore his heart on his sleeve for that girl, it was just useless trying not to be honest about his feelings for her.
She nodded and reached up for him again, her hand was on his neck this time, making him lower himself to get closer to her. He did it willingly.
"I love you too," she said before kissing him passionately.
The sound of Demon's steps near him made Castiel come back from his memories.
"Hey, boy". He said caressing his dog's head, his voice was shaking a little.
He took a deep breath before closing the box again, suppressing the memories that came to him.
How could he get over it, when he'd loved that girl so much?
Some time had passed since they decided to follow their own lives without the other. He thought that with time it would get easier, and eventually he would finally manage to let it go. But the only thing he managed to do was to hide his feelings again, like he did before.
____________________
Why did I have to make it so saaaaaaaaad omg i hate myself 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I hope you liked it tho...
Sorry for any ugly mistakes, English is not my first language and I'm really tired, it's literally past 5am right now. I did my best tho...
Don't forget to tell me what you think!!!
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cdroloisms · 4 years
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Prompt: Dream is released from prison and one night when Sam's trying to sleep the full scope of what he did hits him.
oh this one was heartwrenching anon im in love
the idea that sam and dream were FRIENDS before pandora haunts me so much ,, dream TRUSTED him, at one point, and sam trusted him back ,, it’s really the cherry on top of the whole dang screwed up cake that is the prison :’)
anyway, as is becoming the norm on this blog, please note the warnings bc this gets heavy!
tw: abuse (physical/emotional), toxic relationships, effects of starvation (it’s brief but it’s there), violence, panic attacks, illness, blood, gore (?)
There is blood on the pickaxe.
Sam's hand brushes over the netherite; even in the dark room, the metal, lit by the soft lavender light of enchantments, is clearly stained reddish-brown, some flecks reaching the polished wooden handle. He must've forgotten to clean it after the last session with the prisoner- Dream, throwing it and the rest of his Warden set in a chest haphazardly before going to sleep.
His fingers brush against it; the edge is ragged from a lack of maintenance, the dried blood leaving the entire surface patchy and irregular. The bottom of the handle is well-worn, the wood easily molding to the palm of his hand, the weight familiar. He watches himself move it with a strange sort of disconnect, maneuvering the tool - weapon around with almost more ease than his own sword. He flips it around, fingers easily finding the nick in the top third of the handle, the groove where metal meets wood, eyes tracing his own handwriting, words written in neat, blocky script along the bottom edge of the netherite.
Warden's Will Breaker
The Warden. It's hard to remember that that person was even him, wearing netherite like a second skin, sword perpetually within reach, a monotone voice and metal mask to hide everything soft away; completely emotionless, until the pickaxe was in his hand and every feeling he'd kept bottled deep beneath came up, furious, suffocating, leaving nothing behind but a simmering rage that demanded release-
(Blood on his hands the sound of cracking bones tugging on the handle and meeting resistance screams echoing on obsidian please please Sam stop please stop please-)
He breathes in, out, the pickaxe (Will Breaker) still lying in his hands, still stained with blood. He blinks down at it; it feels wrong to hold it without the rest of the Warden's gear on his body, to carry this thing still saturated with memories of dark shadows and stifling heat and so much pain, to be staring at it without the weight of a mask on his face, of armor sitting against his shoulders, of a sword on his hip. It feels like it belongs to someone else entirely, completely out of place against his creeper print pajama pants (courtesy of Ponk) and knit slippers; it feels foreign, even with memories of it held in his hands flash through his head.
(you deserve this you are a monster you didn't stop when he asked you to I'll stop when you're sorry I'll stop when you're broken behave behave behave)
The prison was all boxes, hard edges; there was no room for kindness, no room for mercy. The prison meant that he was the Warden, that Dream was the Prisoner, that they would not, could not step out of the roles carved for them in the unforgiving obsidian. The walls were stark; every inch deliberate, methodical, necessary. The Warden held the monster and the Prisoner sought to escape his Labyrinth and thus went the game, everlasting, until one of them broke, until one of them failed, Will Breaker, really, only meant to speed up the process-
Only that didn't quite happen.
The Prisoner left, but didn't escape; the Warden was no longer needed, but did not fail. In the end, it was Sam that found Dream wheezing, feverish, in the back of his cell, Sam who carried the man across the bridge, feeling him lie limply in his arms, all skin and bones, Sam who brought him into the Community House as everyone clamored over his weak and dying body.
He'd been released from Pandora (for the foreseeable future, Puffy had said, voice trembling, until he's well enough to stand trial) and Sam, unable to stare at the still-unconscious man and remember his own hands covered in blood and bits of shattered bone, had left to hide away in his base. Until he's needed to be the Warden, again, he'd muttered to himself on the boat ride over, until that responsibility is once again his to bear.
It's harder to justify it all, here, where his floor is covered in carpet and dog hair, where there's a soft light behind him from the redstone lamp hooked up next to his bed, where everything from the Warden has been scrubbed away and left just Sam, limbs a bit gangly, hunched down over a chest that's just a bit too short for him to reach comfortably, feelings raw and painful like an exposed nerve. It's hard to say that the violence and cruelty were necessary, looking at the walls laid down by hands kinder than his own, the remnants of pie still stuck in his chests and blocks of bright pink wool (You Matter <3) decorating the few that he hasn't opened in a while, staring at the soft-edged memories of someone that had yet to know that pickaxes could be stained red by something other than redstone.
("You're leaving?" Dream, younger, hands knotting in the bottom hem of his hoodie.
"Just for a bit," readjusting his crown from where it stands, off-center, on his head; Dream laughing and reaching up to straighten it for him. "I just want to explore a little. Find somewhere open where I can really rig some stuff up, you know?"
"I can't believe the things you do with that crap, man," freckled cheeks rising in a brilliant smile. "It's insane."
"You're pretty insane yourself, Mr. Manhunt," Dream tosses his head back, wheezing, and Sam laughs with him. The sun rises over them, sky pale and pink and beautiful.
"Well, this is the Community House, Awesam," Dream pulls him in, arms wrapping around his neck, head bumping against his chin. "You're always welcome here."
He smiles, soft, murmuring an agreement that rumbles deep and low in his chest. "I know. Y'all take care of yourselves, ok?"
"Of course," Dream punches him, lightly, in the shoulder, trying and failing to hide the way his eyes shine. "We always do.")
The pickaxe falls from his hand, clattering to the ground. Distantly, Sam realizes he's crying.
Prime, what had he done?
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clonesupport · 3 years
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Current WIP List
tagged by @captastra, so you've opened pandora's box i see👀
so this is gonna be a wild one, y'all know i like only write smut so uhhhh spicy content ahead lol. my god i can't believe i'm putting all these in one place so people can really see how insane i am ahaha this'll be fun
as always i always have wayy too many ideas in my drafts so hehe let's get started^^ i'm only including drafts because if we included my entire notes collection of ideas its gonna be a looonnnnggggg list. i dont have fancy titles for my fics lmfao so yeah nothing to really catch your eye in a sense, as always theres lots of max ahaha
NSFW ahead!
The Outer Worlds
Vicar Max x gn!reader - so uhhhh y'all ever thought "hey what if max was introduced to sounding for the first time? that'd be cool right?" and then started writing about it? yeah..me neither👀 sounding, blocked orgasm, humiliation, all the good stuff😌
Vicar Max x gn!reader - ok so since its canon that nyoka literally calls out max for always spending like 40 minutes in the bathroom i of course got to thinking, what does he do in there for 40 minutes👀👀 captain gets a little fed up with how long he spends in there and catches him in the act! cbt, humiliation, and a nice ruined orgasm^^
Vicar Max x f!reader - so.......pegging👀👀👀👀 a special vicar rides the captain's strap on, reluctant and whiny but unable to stop because it just feels too good^^ humiliated by his own pleasure one might say. this mans gotta do all the work tho, he'll complain all he wants about being pegged but he hasn't stopped👀
Vicar Max x f!reader - a simple drabble idea where max fucks the captain making her cum hard before he does only to overstimulate her so he pulls out, humping her wet folds until he cums on her cunt☺️
Red Dead Redemption
Saudade's Affair (Chapter 9) - i promise i will get to this, my brain is plagued with vicar max rn and i can't stop. it's the mission where arthur and charles go rescue josiah from being kidnapped, reader tags along and takes care of him🤧
Hosea Matthews x gn!reader - a little something where hosea gets a wet dream about you and bessie sucking him off. you notice his moans and erection as you wake by his side and decide to help him out^^
Charles Smith x f!reader - charles finger fucking you barely outside of camp? him playing innocent telling you to keep it down like he isn't destroying your pussy with his fingers? exhibitionism? yes yes and yes
Star Wars
Captain Rex x gn!reader - another wet dream idea hehe, rex gets a wet dream about you and wakes up in his barracks only to satisfy himself by humping his pillow🤧
virgin!Obi-Wan Kenobi x f!reader - so basically qui-gon is guiding young obi (something like phantom menace obi-wan) and teaching him how to pleasure a woman (reader) both with fingering, oral and vaginal sex😌✨ could be seen as a qui-gon x reader x obi-wan i guess lol, qui-gon watched and praises the two of you as obi does all the work and loses himself in you as he's never experienced any kind of pleasure like this before🤧
lol well this was long^^ feel free to ask about them lol i don't really know who to tag so i tag anyone who sees this and wants to do it :)
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arachneoenomel · 4 years
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I got tired of constantly having to establish relationships between my 12 spider family characters so I made this quick cute little chart. Still tummy sick somethin' fierce but I hope y'all like it! Also included their romantic + sexual orientations and gender statuses for fun! Some "fun facts" I couldn't fit on here or couldn't express as easily: • Quinn used IVF to get pregnant with their five kids from four different donors. Only Anhri and Turing have the same donor father. • Anhri and Turing are also on the autism spectrum. Jax is also sort of autistic, but his is a function of his species rather than a deviation from the norm. • As for religions, they're all atheists except for August who practices and believes in a bit of a mixture of New Orleans Voodoo / Hoodoo that's been on both sides of his family for generations (which mostly culminates in superstitions and being a fraidy cat in the presence of anything supposedly supernatural). Gretchen is a secular Jew who honestly doesn't involve herself much in the community anymore because her step-mom gave her an excess amount of religious trauma. • Despite their being 6 spiders in a 12 person family, only Kaashi and Nabii have traditional spider names that come from their homeland. • Every spider baby but Hendrix, and his partner Gretchen, grow up to have kids. The spider grandbabies are all developed but I refuse to open that Pandora's box and bring them to life because that adds literally so many characters to obsess about and I am trying my best not to go full bag o' peanuts. So they remain in text only unless commissioned. Anhri adopts an amputee in her program named Emma. Hyun-Jin and August adopt 5 children: Shawn, Aimee, Booker, Renee, and Quincy). Turing and Cherry have three possum sons through IVF: Roosevelt, Louis, and Nikola. And of course Kaashi and Nabii end up with four sons, two sets of twins: Naambi and Nahriit ; Kimbii and Kaaski. Dumb silly fact, though. There is a ridiculous AU where Hendrix and Gretchen did have a child through IVF, a teeny tiny spaniel named Odette or "Oddball" as they lovingly dub her. • If we are being absolutely technical, Quinn has had another child, but I didn't include it because it's far too sad and because that baby has no design to show. Quinn was attacked by a serial killer a week before her delivery date for her first child, and the child did not survive. The baby died still in its egg, so its face was never seen, so not even Quinn knows what her baby looked like. The donor father to that egg was never used again, per Quinn's request. That was back when Quinn was married to her first husband, looked entirely different, and went by a different name. Though Quinn never made it official, she dubbed the child as 'Magnolia', almost exclusively to herself. Because spiders birth eggs that gestate and hatch in several months, baby Magnolia is technically classified as a miscarriage. • The antagonistic relationships are: Jax to Cherry, because Cherry makes very inappropriate jokes about Turing's sex life and doesn't know when to always keep it clean. Also because Cherry openly fawns over the other spider women in the family, and Jax is rather humorless about it. Nabii to both Gretchen and Hendrix. There's a lot of complicated reasons behind why Nabii hates Hendrix, most of it is trauma Hendrix never caused. But her hatred of Gretchen seems to be because of a few misunderstandings wherein she believes Gretchen to be trying to seduce Kaashi (even though it's clearly not what happened lol). Hendrix and Cherry butt heads because Cherry flirts with Gretchen a lot and Hendrix is a lot like his dad and doesn't appreciate the "harmless" fun. But also cause Cherry gives him way too much gross info on his sister he never wanted to know, even if Cherry is just joking around. And Anhri to Hendrix, but that's a long-standing one-sided sibling rivalry. Anhri never really got over being dethroned by Hendrix as a child, who she views as directionless and lazy and vapid for the longest time, and the two just have totally different personalities, ideologies, and interests.
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thehandsomeasshole · 4 years
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@starttheanarchy from X
"And how efficient can it be in production and combat when the parts are poor to begin with? You go for quantity over quality and it shows." Sure it was mean to keep taking shots at robots that were designed more for warehouses then combat, but she couldn't be absolutely nice to the talking jackass.
"You really are not helping the point of how corporations are not evil when you just keep talking." And it makes a shiver roll down her spine at how easily he can just talk about killing other people, as if it was like they were his toys to destroy. It was on the same degree of glee she heard from psychos screaming about rib cages. At least they had the excuse of being driven insane.
Gaige lets out a whine at him mentioning the placement was for aesthetic, the inner engineer in her wanting to scream out all the reasons why that was poor choices. So many fixes that she could easily see in her mind, but she had to hold her tongue because she was not going to give ideas to the person who made it very clear he wanted all vault hunters dead. No matter how many ideas were popping up in her brain.
Nope.
And then he back onto talking about his robots over a rather annoying click that got herself moving once more. Something to work out the emotions so she could think through what was said and what to say. And hearing him accept her point that not once has she ever claimed to be the good guy, she smirked before it feel. Her pace increased in speed as she left the garage and headed to the back where the spiderants were. All while Jack was in her ear, trying to shake up her beliefs. Avoiding her actual questions.
She knew she needed to be somewhere no one else was since she knew she was about to get rather vocal.
"Well, I wouldn't say pissed off. More annoyed then anything else. " Hands stretch out before her as she splays out her fingers and collect her own thoughts. Far too many wanting out at once. "Lets work backwards here. Yes I do think about what I am doing, of what I am being told what to do. Most of which is fixing messes left behind by a lot of others, but you wouldn't know that since you only have a superficial view from above on what we are actually doing. Thus allowing you to paint your 'bandit' narrative over what we are doing."
Shoulder get rolled back as she keeps walking, her robotic arm flicks out and DT is digistructed before her. Spiderants clamber off in the distance. She rather not have to worry about her safety.
"And that isn't what I wanted as an answer. I want facts, give me an actual example of a time of someone who is marked down in history as a good person, as a hero, has done actions similar to your own. Not just old moral and philosophical debates, because those are what ifs and this isn't just a what if. This is the lively hoods of everyone on this planet, innocent or not."
And then a dry laugh escaped her lips as she worked her way to the last part of her rant. On him trying to make her feel some sort of doubt.
"And I'm sure the Crimson Raiders can do no worse then Hyperion on that track record. After all they weren't the ones that invited others to the planet only to blow up trains in the middle of the Frozen Wastes. One hell of a life experience sitting on a rather peaceful train when the boxes start turning into loaders that start firing immediately. Only for the world to go sideways because everything is exploding. Have you ever had to un-bury yourself out of snow filled with corpses both old and new? I never knew what that was like until I ended up on a Hyperion train."
"Well, duh. Of course it's quantity over quality, you know how many loaders we have to produce each day just so they can get their jobs done while you're destroying them? It's a lot, dum dum. So, thanks, for that." The last few words were laced with annoyance, though as he continued speaking there was no trace of it, "I'd love to see your little baking soda volcano of a robot do the stuff the loaders do. Really, I would. I think it'd be hilarious to watch it slowly crush itself trying to lift a shipping container from the loading bay all the way down into customs."
He didn't. It killed him a little inside whenever he had to see yet another one of his bots blown to kingdom come by some idiots. He just figured it'd be another step closer to pissing her off so bad she screamed and hung up.
"I know! Great, isn't it?" Jack laughed, clasping his hands above his head and stretching until he felt the little knot in his back relax, "Hey- If you're super lucky, I'll even tell you about the time someone from middle management didn't turn up to a meeting they'd requested. Bet you can guess how well that went. Let's just say he wouldn't be walking home to his wife and kids anytime soon."
"Ah, annoyance is close enough, right? Gotta love mildly inconveniencing people I don't like." Jack's brows raised. Wow. She was taking him super seriously. He'd already forgotten the majority of their conversation.
"No, trust me, kid. I'm fully aware of what y'all think you're 'actually' doing. It's just… bull, to put it lightly. Sure, maybe you just came to open a vault, get rich." He leaned in closer to the echo, "But what are you doing now, exactly? And no, I don't mean looking all pathetic like you always do and digging through scrap. I mean to get to the vault. Let me guess… Good ol' Lilith's got you doin' her grunt work, right? Running place to place, 'kill this guy!', 'get this thing or person!'. I just- I just know I'm right."
"Let's- Just let me pull up the definition of a bandit, m'kay?" Jack took barely a second to find it on the echonet, and he turned back to the echo, "Alright, here. A bandit is an outlaw, in this case you, who belongs to a gang, the Crimson Raiders, who operate in an isolated or lawless area, Pandora. So, tell me, princess… Where was I wrong? Or do big words just make your head hurt so darn much?"
"You know, your argument would make total sense. The whole… People's livelihoods… Thing… Except for the fact that nearly everyone down on Pandora would kill you and sell you for parts." Jack's expression darkened, and his tone grew serious, "There are people down where you are who'd do that to a kid. And you really think that they deserve to be spared? Do they deserve trust and respect? Or do they all deserve a big ol' moonshot to the face?"
He let out a breath, eyes flickering over to the paperwork stack in consideration, before they returned to the echo. 
"Oh, and I'm fully aware that isn't what you wanted as an answer. I just- I really do love being unhelpful. Especially with people who work with backstabbing bastards who've wronged me in some way or another." He shrugged slightly, "And, no. No, I won't be doing that. You wanna know why? Because no one's ever made an entire military composed solely of robots with AIs to try and fix a whole planet. You're just fueling the raging inferno that is my ego here, babe."
"But, trust me on this one. The Crimson Raiders can, and have done worse. They ever mention why exactly I want y'all dead? Or, did they sugar coat it and cry 'Jack is just bad!' at the top of their lungs?" He laughed, the sound growing even louder as she described the train events.
God, he wished he'd seen their faces…
"Sorta! Well, not in the snow. It was more, y'know, dirt." He seemed to space out a little after that thought, eyes on the echo but not particularly focused on it.
It took a while for him to zone back in, but when he did he continued with the exact same intonation and volume as before. 
"Anyway, y- you wanna try and take another shot at me? Or has your fragile little heart had enough?" Jack laughed loudly, and he finally made a move for the paperwork.
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cbspams · 3 years
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ONF - New World (Performance MV)
The last one. Ahhh, when I first committed to watching RTK, I wasn't sure what to expect and I didn't know anything about the other groups. I'd seen TBZ's Reveal (Catching Fire) which lured me in and I'm grateful for it because I got to see all the other amazing performances everyone pulled off. Beyond just the performances, it was really heartwarming to get little glimpses of the hard work everyone puts into each stage and how they're always supporting each other, within their own teams and outside of it. I would definitely recommend watching RTK if you're interested in getting into any of the groups featured, and even if not I would still recommend watching the performances because they're all so unique in their arrangements and stages. It's the kind of thing that can only happen on a competition show.
Thanks for putting up with all my ranting and know that I love you if you've read all my different thought posts. I hope you all look forward to Kingdom: Legendary War as well, it's gonna be HYPE!
Alright dudes let's get down to it.
Admittedly I did not love ONF for a lot of RTK. They're a great group, but I felt like their stages didn't favor the same kind of theatricality other groups had. And when they were ranked highly for We Must Love + Moscow Moscow (2nd round, My Song) stage, I was frankly a little miffed.
I adored their stage for It's Raining though, and all throughout RTK even if I didn't love them I still thought they were wonderful. Their reactions were so entertaining to watch and their stages were all fun and well executed.
I struggled watching New World a bit because I couldn't get over the fact they went back to more simple performances when It's Raining had been so elaborate.
The performance MV for New World is amazing. I understand the live performance had to be filmed indoors and that because it's indoors and because the stage is black and the stairs are black and the bleachers are black, the impact is different. But I'm really sad about that because the open air film location they did for the performance MV fit the song's vibes so much better. The kind of controlled sunlight, the open air lattices of the building they were standing on, the contrast between the dark outfits the members had and the bright cream of the building's plaster. All of those contributed to such a different vibe for the song, which is so bright and fun.
The opening to the light performance is a short film, similar to ONEUS and Pentagon. I'm not too sure about this but it seems to start with fast cuts from their previous MVs? And then slows down marginally to give a bit of storyline that seems to be a combination of pre and post apocalypse/societal collapse in a fantasy/cyberpunk mix world? Yeah, I dunno I've watched it 4 times and that's the best I could come up with. Especially because the ending shot is several very large meteors crashing through the atmosphere and like, those are pretty deadly so...?
In the pre-performance bit with the ONF members, they had discussed a theme of Pandora's box. Most people know that Pandora's box is a symbol of curses and tragedy, often tied to themes of humanity's greed versus humanity's innocence in listening to the gods. On opening the box, all the diseases and negativity inside flooded out to torment humanity but Hope remains in the box to allow humanity to maintain light in the darkness, and only humanity can give up hope.
NGL I was really excited to see how they would execute that theme. But then?? They kind of treated the box as a time capsule? I could kind of see it like them put their hopes into the box, which is an interesting twist on the tale of Pandora's box but also Confusion because that's definitely not the theme of that story. I kind of let it go though, because maybe they were just borrowing inspiration from the story and not actually trying to represent it.
Moving onto the actual performance and song. The intro is so intense! It's a really interesting fit because the rest of the song is way more dance upbeat/electric. But as far as openings go, pretty impactful and very pleasing to watch the ripple effect with the backup dancers down the aisle.
Again with the colorful flashing lights. Cool? Yes. Contributing to the aesthetic? Not particularly. Productive to the storyline? No. Part of the performance? Yes. Shruggy on this one, I don't really have anything to add that I haven't mentioned in previous commentaries.
I do really like the song though. Just as a piece of music, it's so fun to listen to and has definitely joined the ranks of my usual kpop bops. The kind of light, fast electro beat is something to jam to. Wyatt's voice is just so good, especially as part of the pre-chorus. The contrast makes it delightful to go from verse one to chorus. The lyrics and message of the song are really well thought out and executed as well, talking about reaching a better world and turning away from hurting each other/the environment/generally being hurtful.
OKAY. So this part is actually something I really adored: the sort of robotic formation. Wherein the members stand in the center of several backup dancers who seem to place on pieces or armor or something onto the member's limbs. A very clean cut, fast paced dance sequence that really strongly reminded me of early iron man scenes in which the different parts of armor were installed on the body. Also lowkey reminiscent of magical girl transformation hahahaha. But it's done so cleanly and while the camera angles make it hard to focus, it's still such a treat to watch. AND THEN. The members come up to the shoulders of the backup dancers and for Wyatt's lines, they're just!! In control! If y'all have watched power rangers or Gundam or Aquarion or Neon Evangelion or like, any of those then you know what I'm talking about, in which the human character slides into some massive machine and controls them from the inside to fight monsters (kaiju) and stuff. And the next bit with J-US and the hands! Creative, interesting imagery, just a complete delight to watch. It's just sooooo fun and I love that for ONF, I really do.
I genuinely think that their theme doesn't make much sense without the context of the lyrics and even then it still feels clunky and sort of inspired by rather than actually embodying the concept. So I'd dock point for them for that personally because I think that when themes are introduced and performed, they should show up as more than just a simple prop. But also I acknowledge that dance and musical performances like this (not musicals) aren't necessarily intended to be storytelling, especially in 4th gen kpop. I do like their theme with the keys and opening, I feel like the performance would have been enhanced if instead of using pandora's box, they choose to use the gateway to the new world. A bit on the nose but a lot more impactful with the key turning bit after the second chorus.
On the key turning bit with the weird holographic box: Dude. Those backup dancers? So clean. Nice stiff steps that feel very robotic which goes wonderfully with the costumes. The keys they each take actually read RTK ONF if you go clockwise from the left (MK). Just a neato little fact. Attention to detail is so good. And the timing of the key turns, of course it was gonna be to the beat but like still! Satisfying af.
Why Wyatt grabs the box and slams it to the ground I don't know. Maybe it has to do with the line dive into new world.
The high notes. Again. Literally just. What the fuck guys, they're so good. I'm gonna cry. The stability, the pitch, just. (sobbing)
The LED screen in the back is interesting? Is it supposed to be a door into the new world? Probably?
Dance break!! Guitar solo!! The door tradition into the weird stripey LED screens that just feels so chaotic and kinda like I'm going through a movie warp portal. Somehow when combined together it all works lmao??
I love the bridge. There's no reason for it, I just love Wyatt's fast paced lines and the kind of dun dun dun fast tempo beat tapping.
The ending of running away from the camera, towards the little cliffs and the LED screen was a good choice because the last lines refer to how they'll never stop as long as they're alive. Not the most impactful ending but definitely satisfying given the song's lyrics and meaning. Again, that lack of pandora's box kind of haunts me?
Overall if I consider this ONF performance compared to their others it doesn't feel quite as thought out and executed. Similar to their We Must Love + Moscow Moscow performance where I couldn't really see the marionette theme, I couldn't really understand the idea of Pandora's box in this performance and I really wish they had chosen perhaps a gateway to the new world or some other theme instead because it would fit much better. It's also a little lackluster compared to the performance MV that had a lot of contrast which created more focus and contributed more to the atmosphere of the performance.
Still, as a performance on it's own, it does pretty well and I'm really happy for ONF to have performed it. Thank you RTK for introducing me to this song and to ONF in general, I hope they continue to release some really good stuff.
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stacie-marie-bloom · 4 years
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GLASS HEARTS: CHAPTER SIX Nestor Octeva Fanfiction Walking into the kitchen quietly Happy watched as his friend danced and sang along to whatever song was playing through her speakers as she cooked. It always amazed him how talented Ruby was but never did anything with it. Instead she stayed in her hometown for years working as a nanny even though she had a psychology degree and was extremely artistic. She gave it all up for her family
*Lucky for you, I got all these daddy issues
What can I do?
I'm going crazy when I'm with you
Forget all the therapy that I've been through* 
Ruby sang along with the song blasting through the speakers as she finished preparing breakfast. 
When she turned around to grab a couple plates, Ruby was startled to see Happy standing there. "Gosh, you're such a freaking creep Hap. How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to know you've got 'daddy issues' little girl." Happy chuckled, before going over to Ruby and wrapping his arms around her, kissing her neck lightly. This simple gesture made Ruby lose her train of thought for a moment. Smelling the bacon seconds from burning though, she quickly moved away from the man holding her to grab the frying pan.
"So I talked to Nestor this morning," Ruby trailed off afraid of Happy's reaction. Though it would never show physically, Happy was actually nervous as to what was going to be said next. Especially after his conversation with the mercenary early that morning.
"They already found the kid? Damn, maybe they are better than us." Happy replied sarcastically, collecting flatware for the two to use for breakfast. Slightly frustrated by the jab her friend made, Ruby smacked his arm before responding.
"There's no need to be an ass Hap. Sadly, no they haven't found him yet but Nestor asked if I was still in town, then asked to meet up. So I was actually wondering if before you left to take care of business, I could get a ride to a coffee shop in town?" 
Rolling the toothpick from one side to the other taking his time before responding Happy finally spoke, "Fine but since I don't know how long I will be. So I'll need braids to bring you back here. You're supposed to be leaving to keep you safe that was his wish. If he thinks there is a threat out there that could hurt you then why is he trying to meet with you?" 
"Would you prefer he come here instead?" Ruby already knew the answer but asked to push that envelope. Happy wasn't the jealous type so for him to respond like he did shocked her.
Narrowing his eyes at her Happy responded, "No, I just don't understand what is so important that he couldn't have just asked over the phone or text?" 
Shrugging at her friend's question the small redhead responded, "Maybe he is worried whoever took Cristobal has tapped into their phones? I mean it is a lot simpler to bug these new smartphones compared to the dinosaurs we had when everyone was still around. Nestor won't let anything happen to me, okay?" 
    "Yeah, okay Little Girl. Can we eat now? We've still got to get ready for the day." Happy commented, aggravated by the conversation and ready to move on.
Unsettled by her friend's reaction, the redhead nodded before serving their breakfast.
    "Hap, I didn't mean to upset you. Once you're done with whatever it is you've got to do today I'll go back to Charming with you. I need you to trust Nestor though, he wants to keep me safe just as much as you. Okay?"
"You actually expect me to trust someone I don't know?" Happy quickly bit back. "You're right, silly me. I'm not hungry anymore so I'm going to get changed. If you could clean up when you're done that would be appreciated." Ruby quickly stood walking to the room, wiping the tears from her eyes as she went to change for the day.
   
Nestor pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop on Main Street he and Ruby had agreed upon. Though he never took the time before now to appreciate the building before him, Nestor observed every detail in the rugged old house and it's fading green paint. As the mercenary looked over the building, his mind wandered to how the up and coming conversation with the bubbly redhead would go. Would she be pissed he looked into her? Will she be honest? All these questions were interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle parking a few spaces over. Looking away from the building to where the sound was coming from, Nestor watched as Ruby slid off the bike of the strange man. Watched as before she could walk away the man wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her into a kiss. Quickly Nestor looked back at the building before him, furious at how his friend seemed to be treated by the rough biker.
Pulling away from the kiss Ruby looked back at Nestor then at the man in front of her, "Happy, was that necessary?" 
"I have no clue what you're talking about Little Girl. Just remember to let me know when you leave here and you're back at the house. As soon as I'm done we're headed home." Happy smirked knowingly.
Rolling her eyes, Ruby replies, "I'll keep you in the loop okay?" Before she could hear her long time friend's response she walked over to Nestor who was waiting awkwardly and trying to hide his anger.
"Ruby, thank you for meeting me. I realized while waiting, I had never been here before. Do you come here often?" Nestor inquired as he pulled the door of the establishment open.
Giggling, Ruby whispered "Did you really just ask 'Do you come here often?' Well, to answer your question, yes I do come here often. It happens to be my go-to spot when I acquire free time." The two ascended up the staircase, the busyness of the coffee shop surrounded them. As the atmosphere buzzed, the air between Nestor and Ruby though was tense. 
Once seated with coffees in hand, Nestor cleared his throat prepared to open Pandora's box. "So, with all that has been happening recently Miguel ordered a thorough background check on everyone." He paused.
Lies.
"Some interesting information was brought to our attention from your background check." Nestor continued.
Ruby's heart rate picked up pace, she was sure the whole coffeehouse could hear it. She never meant for old life to be a secret, Ruby just needed to escape it and the best way was to never talk about it 
"Uhm...I." Ruby couldn't find the right words, as though the words were trapped, unable to escape. 
"By that reaction you already know what I am referring to? I just want to know how deep that connection still runs. Why did you hide that information from us?" Nestor asked.
"I wanted to forget, I needed to forget. Growing up in a toxic environment such as that.." Ruby took a deep breath before continuing. "My intent wasn't to hide my past from y'all. Honestly I assumed an intense background check had been done when I was first hired." The young red-head took a sip of her coffee and looked everywhere but at the man before her.
"Being born into that life, it's all I've ever known."
*Better late than never?*
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thekaijudude · 4 years
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MAJOR UPDATE on Devil Splinters in Ultraman Z July Scans
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Alright so after many of my sources have arrived at the same translation, I realized that there's an extremely MAJOR information that was revealed in one of the small panels of the July Scans
And it all has to do with Gilvaris here
So initially I thought Gilvaris was just reduced from a movie character to a mere episodic pinata but it was revealed here that this Gilvaris is the same one that appeared in the Geed Movie
And that Geed was chasing it down which led him to the Earth that Z is on rn
(Which means that Geed will have access to GR right from the get go and this means that the 2 others unseen forms will be totally new)
But how is this possible?
Well here's the major reveal,
It was explicitly stated that Gilvaris was revived by the Devil Splinters
And this is HUGE
Cause now the actual ability of resurrection literally opens a whole new dimension of possibilities to bring back almost anyone
Simply put, the Devil Splinters are literally the second biggest plot device in the whole franchise, right behind Toregia himself
And it's not too far fetched to assume that Gilvaris was revived by a wandering Devil Splinter this means that the only drawback of this resurrection ability is that it has to come into contact with the remains (if any) of the deceased being
But here's the million dollar question, can it revive Belial himself?
I mean technically speaking, if say we were to expose a Devil Splinter to the genetic material of Belial that was used in Taiga, it would sound logical
But then aren't the Devil Splinters themselves genetic materials of Belial?
This is really interesting question which we will definitely get out answers to very soon
It's kind of a no brainer when we see the words 'ressurection' and 'Belial' in the same context
But people are also saying whether this also foreshadows the revival and return of Reiblood himself
And tbh I don't think so cause let's not forget that the Devil Splinters are fragments of Belial which I don't think are strong enough to revive Reiblood, a being much more powerful that he himself is
But man, this might be opening up pandora's box here cause this is such a convenient excuse to revive almost anyone back in this series and far beyond cause since the Devil Splinters are basically spread across the Multiverse, there's no conceivable way to really clean them up
This means that Belial himself is basically a literal plot device at this point
Things are definitely getting REAL interesting here that's for sure
And before y'all ask whether or not Toregia would be able to also be resurrected by this, and to that I'd say that Toregia technically isn't even dead or rather, can't even really die as the novel said before that even if he really dies, he would just be reincarnated right away in another alternate Toregia from another universe/alternate reality so that's a whole different issue altogether
But the whole question of whether Toregia was aware of the existence of the Devil Splinters or not is a whole other question altogether
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heartmeadows · 5 years
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If I didn't have my creative outlets I'd be so lost. Or rather I'd be more lost. I don't talk here too much about my life anymore. Some of y'all know my battle with mental health, trauma and abuse, addiction, chronic illness and you've been there for me during times I had very little support and help. And honestly I don't think I could've gotten this far if it hadn't been for the kindness, support and acceptance y'all have shown me. It helped me so much in dealing with addiction and getting help. It helped me see myself as a person instead of a worthless junkie like I was told by people irl and that was eye-opening. I have no words to express how grateful I am that you guys helped me understand that I'm more than just my addiction. It helped me change. I'll always be thankful for that. The kindness of y'all makes me want to cry, with happy tears even though I'm not doing good right now. Been crying for hours.
Only once I got an ignorant ask judging me about "ruining my life with drugs" and like, I'm sure it came from the right place but that's not how you help addicts. By the time I knew drug use was destroying me I was in a condition where I couldn't just step out of it and be done. I wanted though and I kept fighting. It's taken years to get to this point and I'm still struggling. But I got better, so much better. Like all that I had thought I'd lost in me came back to me and I reconnected with myself. Things were getting better, you know. Then my mental health turned around again around December and since then I've been barely holding myself together.
I'm just hoping to stay alive and keep myself distracted and not do stupid self destructive things, not hurt myself in any way, just get through each day and make it to another one. I'm lost on what to do anyway beyond that... There's help out there and it was decent but my agoraphobia unfortunately fucked that up cause I couldn't make the appointments anymore and the pressure of the treatment was getting to me. I don't know if I should go to a closed mental ward or if I should just continue with the outpatient program. Those are logical, right things to do. But I can't commit to any sort of treatment for a multitude of reasons. I've tried for years. It's ultimately for me to decide. And regardless I got this far because of myself. I survived my childhood abuse and struggles by myself, you know. There's more to this subject of course and I shouldn't have to deal with these serious issues on my own. But maybe people don't understand getting help isn't magic and that it takes years to get anything that actually helps. I've made more progress on my own than in therapy, etc. Medication has helped but it also came with huge downfalls. Being severely mentally ill is even harder than you'd think.
Despite how much I struggle at the end of the day I know I'm not bad, I'm not a monster, I'm not a useless, worthless being like I've been told by myself and others... I know I have more than "just few more good years left" in me, there's no such thing as women "hitting the wall" as they age. Fuck that and fuck men who only "value" us as long as we look young. But I digress...
I know that there's so much good in me, so much love to give and life yet to live. But I'm so exhausted right now I have nothing to give to others and it's hurting my relationships. But I'm hurting more. I can't be the rock anymore. I need a break from everything but such a thing is a fever dream. Can't escape yourself, you know. I'm rambling...
I won't go into great detail about things here anymore though because it's triggering for others and my whole life experience is a Pandora's box of heavy topics and this is a place for me to escape as I'm sure it's for some of you, too. A lot of it is too much for anyone to handle so I do not want to put that burden on the people who follow me. Especially since I'm sure I have lots of younger people following me. Not that younger people can't experience mental illness and addiction or chronic illness, unfortunately I've seen my share of younger and younger people going through what I'm going through. I know life doesn't treat most of us well.
But my point is I want to keep this space as safe as possible. It is my blog obviously and I don't stress about it. I take hiatuses without even saying I am and I return when I sim again and it works. I'm lucky that so many people enjoy what I post and stay around even when I disappear. I always come back. Been playing since I was about 13 years old and Sims helped me survive and it still does. Occasionally I do post very personal things and some heavy topics will be discussed. I will tag those with trigger warnings! But for the most part I just want to spread some positivity and creativity. Sorry this got so long and rambly! I really needed to get some things off my mind. I hope y'all are alright! Anyone who's also struggling just know that you're not alone. It's not easy, I can't offer my help but I wish I could. I hope y'all stay safe and find joy even in one small thing every day 💕
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