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Yo what the hell is eggs???
so here's the thing. this is never seeing the light of day. but this is such a fair question ok do y'all remember that one reddit post that was going around in 2019/2020ish where this woman's husband kept going to the same place and ordering eggs over easy and getting the wrong order and then physically getting into a fight with the cook? so I, in my mighty just-started-shipping-the-witcher-ot3 wisdom, decided to do that, but in witcher ot3, so yenralt are already married, and I guess jaskier is the type to get in fights now??? it never really went anywhere and was one of two witcher fics to be based on reddit stories. gym au is up and probably never getting finished but at least that one made some semblance of sense. anyway here's an excerpt of Eggs but be warned this is not. good
Geralt wanted to go to Waffle House for dinner again, and Yennefer didn’t mind, so they went.
As implied by the sentence above, it was not the first time they had done so. Geralt, deprived of the option in his childhood, adored breakfast for dinner, although he was loathe to admit that he really liked anything. And Yennefer, who really rather liked her boyfriend and liked him to be happy, as loathe as she was to admit that she felt anything, didn’t mind obliging.
The Waffle House was small, but not claustrophobic, and Yennefer really rather appreciated the intimate air the place had – as intimate as a chain restaurant could be, of course.
They ordered, and settled in their usual table in the back. Nothing out of the ordinary so far.
Until their food arrived, and the sunny side up eggs he ordered were served hard.
“Waiter,” Geralt said, flagging down a waiter. “I – well, I asked for my eggs to be runny. If the cook could remake them.”
The waiter nodded, and took Geralt’s meal away.
While they waited for his food to come back, Geralt and Yennefer continued talking – discussing work, and their not-so-far-in-the-future move away from the city. They hadn’t signed the lease on their new apartment yet, but they were planning to travel to look at it in two weekends, and Yennefer, at the very least, was excited.
And then Geralt’s food came back, carried by that same waiter. And the eggs were not on the runny side.
In fact, they were scrambled eggs.
Before the waiter could even leave, Geralt gruffly asked that the meal be returned, and for his eggs to be made properly this time.
Ten minutes later, the meal came back, this time carried by someone other than their previous waiter. The eggs, though.
They were two hardboiled eggs.
Yennefer couldn’t help it; her lips twitched. While Geralt had, indeed, originally requested that his eggs be softer rather than harder, it was probably a little petty of him to send the eggs back not once, but twice, and she was amused at the cook’s insistence on his own pettiness.
“I hope the eggs are to your liking,” the new man said, a tall man – maybe even taller than Geralt – who had the perhaps the bluest eyes Yennefer had ever seen.
“Oh, it’s alright,” Yennefer said before Geralt could say anything rude. “Thank you very much.”
The man winked at her and gave her a mock solute before heading back to the kitchen.
“You know,” she said to Geralt, who was eyeing the two hardboiled eggs mournfully, “I reckon that might have been the cook.”
#I don't know why I wrote it like this it's just so so bad#thanks for asking I should've known there'd be interest in Eggs tbh#gail speaks#ask#stackthedeck
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I was tagged by @kirayaykimura who probably knows my answers to some of these already because the poor girl has to deal with my nonsense all the time anyway.
1. Always post these rules! 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people
1. Do you have a feeling about how you’ll die?
Okay so it’s probably just like ~residual trauma~ or what have you, but I’m always nagged by the feeling that I’m gonna die in a car crash.
2. What character do you feel is unnecessarily or unjustly hated? (Aka what character do you like that most other people seem to dislike?)
Sharon Carter. People 500% are just pissed she gets in the way of their slash ship (and this is coming from a stevetony fan).
3. Place in the world you’d most like to travel to.
Right now? I’m desperate to go to Greece.
4. What’s one skill you don’t currently have that you would love to wake up with tomorrow?
The ability to DANCE. Latin style in particular, but just to be able to dance well in general.
5. Beauty, brains, or brawn? Which is more important?
BRAAAAAAAAAAAINNNSSSSSS.
6. What is one thing you don’t understand the appeal of?
This is going to sound mean, but Dane DeHaan. Also the movie Kingsman: The Secret Service.
7. Favorite fic of all time?
3-way tie between Four (or Five) Reasons for Kidnapping Tony Stark by @scifigrl47 (MCU, stevetony), Irreparable by @aslightstep (MCU, maybe stevetony), and The Five Kingdoms by winterhill (Merlin, Merlin/Gwaine).
8. What movie do you wish you could erase from your brain?
The Butterfly Effect just because the dog-killing scene in particular disturbs me profoundly.
9. Why do tv shows sometimes do puppet episodes, where the characters turn into puppets? Best guess please because I don’t get it.
I didn’t know this was a thing? My guess would be because the writers say “fuck it.”
10. Space or the ocean?
Space. The ocean fucks me up.
11. If you could only send one message to aliens [insert contrived plot device I’m too lazy to think of here], what would it be?
Please get rid of Donald J. Trump.
My Questions:
What is your ideal breakfast?
Name a book that had a profound effect on you.
What fictional character do you identify with the most and why?
What is your favorite article of clothing?
Where do you fall in the Nature vs. Nurture debate and why?
What was the last food craving you had?
Name a quote you have/would have tattooed on you and explain its significance to you.
Tea, coffee, or hot cocoa?
What is your stance on the Oxford Comma and why?
Who is your number one celebrity crush at the moment?
Was there a movie you watched over and over as a child? What was it?
Tagging: @knightinironarmor @tonyrhodes @davissbloome @aslightstep @hormonesandhoney @nathenmiller @grounderbellamy @martinsparrish @osanzo @buckyrhodey @jacewaylands
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SCP Scenarios: SCP x Reader - McDonald's Sprite (REQUESTED)
Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post
Requested by: @katnotmore123
Bro y'all be simping for Sprite and I'm here simping for 7Up...
I mean I like them both but I just prefer 7up over Sprite... It's like comparing Pepsi and Coke ngl but with a more subtle difference
SCP 073 (Cain)
You came back to the foundation one day with a cup of iced drink and Cain had asked what you were drinking and you showed him
He was mildly confused but soon understood the beverage since he had seen them somewhere on the web (no, not the hub, an advert from McDonald's)
You asked if he wanted to try some and he did, so you gave him a sip
You were slightly annoyed and surprised since you drove over an hour and hadn't had anything to drink and the last thing you wanted was someone taking your drink
But since it was 073, you made it an exception since you hadn't expected him to have any food or beverages outside of site 17
You figured that he had enjoyed it as he reminisced his past about being able to eat plant-based food but no longer could
You felt bad and agreed to get more when you next go back
The researchers had wondered if the drink had ever rotted in his mouth but realise moments later that it's mainly made out of artificial ingredients aside from the natural flavourings
SCP 076-2 (Abel)
I have high doubts that you would be able to persuade Abel to drink such a plain beverage, so you had devised a plan to get him to try
You made a bet with Abel in which the loser has to finish off the drink, not that you'd complain (you unhealthy mf), but you really wanted him to give it a try
Abel accepted and had very much lost the bet
He had taken a sip and you noticed that he's enjoying the drink and teased him
He spat it out and flat out denied it (like the tsundere he is) but continued drinking it anyways
Some of the researchers monitoring Abel's cell found it rather amusing that he enjoyed such a "plain beverage" and did try to tease him about it
Let's just say it didn't end very well as it resulted in somebody's head being chopped off
You both had agreed that if Abel stops trying to breach his containment and be more cooperative, you or somebody else in your team would buy him more Sprite from McDonald's (and by 'buy', I mean kidnapping the whole chain's Sprite dispenser)
SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)
999 would most definitely take the drink out of your hand since his little tingles tell him that whatever you were drinking was sweet
And he was very much right
You were slightly shocked but wasn't surprised since he does have quite a sweet tooth
Every now and again, SCP 999 would ask if you had any more of those drinks and would even ask what they were
You had explained to him that it's a lemon and line flavoured soft drink created by the Coca-Cola company (the more you know right?)
He was intrigued and sweetly requested if you could buy him more and you obliged
You would use your time off to buy a dozen of Sprites from McDonald's and would sometimes buy other soft drinks like Coke and Fanta for 999
Needless to say, you had an orange blob as your personal pet who would give you unlimited hugs since you spoiled him with so many drinks
SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)
This mf of a lizard right here is just as stubborn, if not even more than Abel, and would reject trying that beverage at all for the whole entire week
You had to bribe him and the researchers were laughing their socks off from this interaction you both got going
He did give in but was rather hesitant at first
Once you poured some into his mouth, he seemed slightly disgusted from the taste
He would just sit still for a moment as to contemplate then stuck his tongue out as a sign of disgust
But bring the cheeky person you were, you spilt more into his mouth which led to him farting for the next few hours to which everyone laughed
Dr Bright heard the commotion and came to see what was happening
Let's just say he encouraged you to carry on if you want your head cut off but found it amusing regardless
In short, don't ever give him Sprite unless you want to torture him
SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)
Does this bird doctor even drink?!
You mention multiple times about human food and how delicious they are
Mainly McDonald's Sprite and their food since its rather popular
ESPECIALLY THEIR CHEESE BITES/STICKS!!! HAVE YALL EVEN TRIED THEM!? THEY'RE DELICIOUS AF!!!
OMG they've released the garlic ones but I preferred the normal Mozzarella sticks and cheesy bites though
Anyways, back to Sprite, our side chick
049 would be intrigued about this 'Sprite' since you spoke so passionately about it like your life depended on it and requested you to get him one for a try and so you did
When he drank it he was surprised at the foreign taste
He asked if there were more beverages like it and you answered honestly, carrying on with your love for McDonald's and offered to buy him some for a try
Basically, 049 would give it a try since you spoke so passionately for them
He wouldn't necessarily hate it, but he wouldn't love the drink as much
I'd say he would be intrigued to try something new outside of his role in curing the pestilence
SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)
I am so sorry guys, I'll have to make 035 hella short since I can't think of anything interesting for him
DO YALL THINK THIS BOI CAN EVEN TRY?! JUST LOOK AT HIM!!! HE'S A BLOODY MASK!!!
The closest thing for him to try the drink is if you gave his now possessed body some beforehand so 035 could telepathically understand the taste
Like if you just straight up gave him the drink I don't think he would be able to drink it even if he wanted to
If the now dead body never had Sprite, then you ould just describe the tase to him in form of arts (I like to imagine 035 would be into arts, especially performing arts since he's basically a theatre mask)
SCP 105 (Iris)
Our girl here has a high chance that she might have tried McDonald's Sprite
But she just prefers healthier foods (this healthy mf knows that y'all can't keep healthy, that's why she's here to start your New Year's Resolution which is to stay healthy)
You both would recommend food which is healthy or unhealthy and would try them
Iris is more than capable of controlling her diet, but you, on the other hand, have a hard time doing so (don't lie, we all know y'all like junk food)
So, you both compromised in which you can have junk food as a reward, namely your favourite beverage, Sprite
You just love the citrus flavoured, colourless beverage so much that Iris would have to hide the drink from you (ah yes great promotion from me XD)
What would you do without our girl, Iris, eh? (Die from overeating unhealthy food which causes heart attacks and strokes, of course, fun!)
Anyways, sometimes when you're the one going out, you would be the one to buy a few dozen bottles of Sprite from McDonald's (bro do they even sell bottled drinks? Ik they do in KFC from where I live OwO)
Iris would drop dead from the sight of you bringing in so many Sprites into the foundation
She would most likely drink some with you, not because she likes them, god no
It's because there's no more room to store them and she's just a little bit thirsty
SCP 106 (Old Man)
This old man would be so confused by all this food and drinks from the outside world
His first impression of McDonald's was that of a circus since you've shown him the older advertisement for McDonald's since it fits his age (love you 106!!! Not)
And then you gave him a menu, and god did he not have any glasses (boi he do be needing to go to Specsavers fr)
He read Mozzarella Sticks as mosasaurs pricks, the Spicy Veggie One as spicy vag- and what's worse is that he read Double Quater Pounder as double quantum pounding (he even read Coke wrong!)
You and the foundation staff burst out of laughter at his 20/20 eyesight
So one day, you returned to the foundation with some Sprite in your hands in hopes that 106 would give it a go and so he did
He found the flavour somewhat new and strange but still enjoyed it nevertheless (this boi here do be a man of culture, am I right?)
Anyways, 106 loved it so much to the point that during one of the breaches, he disappeared from the foundation and reappeared with 10 boxes of Sprite
The researchers then realised afterwards that 106 had used his pocket dimension to teleport to the nearest McDonald's and stole the boxes of Sprite without even paying
They were even more surprised to find that the workers there were ordinary humans and weren't even fazed about 106 teleporting to their business (Sames here bro! If anyone stole my food/drinks I'd be pissed too regardless of who it is!!! Food is food!!!)
You basically made him addicted to Sprite
SCP 096 (Shy Guy)
(Imma be honest here, idk if this guy eats since he's facing the wall and covering his face like 99% of the time unless some guy saw his face)
You were sat in 096's cell and was debating on what food to get from McDonald's
096 was curious about what you're talking about since he heard you mumbling bout food from this so-called "McDonald's"
So you explained to him the concept of food and that generally speaking, unhealthy foods are tastier and typically served quicker in at places like McDonald's
Imma be real here, I like Burger King's chilli cheese bites a tiny bit more since the McDonald's at my place is stuck with garlic cheese bites atm
It's not like I hate them, but I just prefer the old ones, but it's nice that McDonald's changes up their food every now and then
Anyways, back onto our side chick
You bought your favourite Sprite along with the double quantum pou- quarter pounder
096 was upon curious and so you let him have a bite of your quarter pounder and your Sprite
Let's just say that 096 found it weird and didn't ask about human food again
Dr Jack bright
Jack Bright is very much aware of McDonald's and other fast-food chains since he does have a fair share of memories of eating them with his family and because the bodies he possesses do be unhealthy af (just like you)
You were talking about food with one of your co-workers and Bright just so happened to be nearby and butted his head into the conversation
Your co-worker also just happened to leave for a meeting so you're both stuck together talking about McDonald's
Sometime later, you bought to the foundation some food, including Jack's favourites as he had mentioned not long ago
You both tried each other's food and he was mesmerised by the Sprite since it's been a while since he had it
So whenever you went back, you would buy a larger bottle of Sprite for Jack since he wouldn't have much free time and needed to drink more anyways
Sometimes, when you're both talking about food, you'd make up puns for them or just laugh at your misinterpretations since you're just as blind as a bat (btw I've read somewhere that bats have good vision, they just use echolocation a lot)
Some of the things you both would say would be "Did you hear that McDonald's gave all their employees large laptops for Christmas? They were Big Macs" and "Hey, Ronald McDonald - been watching any good clown movies? Ronald: I'm loving it"
One time, he smacked your bum and casually said to you "Girl, this quarter-pounder will take you to a whole different level of experience" and then left
Dr Simon Glass
Another doctor who has knowledge of fast foods
He's similar to Bright in a way as he doesn't leave the facility as often as he likes since he's constantly busy
Also, he would make terrible jokes and puns using wordplay
When you told him about your favourite drink, Sprite, Glass immediately said "I went to the store to get eight cans of Sprite. When I got home, I realized I’d only picked seven up"
You just looked dumbfounded at his puns and laughed as he continued
He did manage to take a sip and drank the whole can of Sprite instead
You even bought some wrap with extra mayo and told Simon about your friendly chat with the waitress/cashier and mentioned her former co-workers
And you died on the inside because his only reply was "She should go back sometime to ketchup with her old co-workers or she mayo not want to"
To shut him up, you have decided that buying him Sprite would work and it kinda did
Only for a short while though
Dr Alto Clef
Clef is well aware of the fast-food chain called McDonald's
It was hard to ignore it as a lot of people younger than him had kept talking about it, even you
Even worse if it was you talking about McDonald's since you have an obsession with their Sprite
Poor Clef was confused as he assumed that all lemon/lime flavoured drinks were the same
Oh boy was he wrong
You came back with your lunch from you know where and 2 bottles of Sprite
One was from McDonald's and the other from Lidl along with some of your favourite pastries, like croissants and toffee yum yums
You had him try all the foods and both Sprites and he finally gave in to the fact that McDonald's Sprite tastes more superior than the other
Not only that, he made dirty jokes and puns about the food in McDonald's
Like "Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of McDonald's", "Come over to my house and I’ll give ya a happy meal", "Do you work here? Because I’d like to order some fries with that shake" and "Girl when I am done with you, you won't be looking for no toys in this happy meal"
Dr Benjamin Kondraki
Benjamin Kondraki would be the type of person who would be reluctant to try but would anyways since you asked so kindly and gave them those eyes
And by that, I mean a death glare
NGL he doesn't seem like the type of fella to be eating a ton of unhealthy food
I mean he doesn't necessarily eat salad or anything overly healthy, but he does have a balanced diet for the most part and does treat himself sometimes, but not too often
You magically crept up behind Kondraki and scared him unintentionally but you still laughed anyway because you're evil
He looked down and realised that the packaging was from McDonald's and you were holding a familiar clear bottle in your other hand
You were kind enough to share your food with him and he thoroughly enjoyed it
Then after that, you forced him to drink some Sprite since he has PTSD from your unhealthy obsession with it
And yes, he did end up drinking it
And no, he didn't like it nor did he hate it
You were upset that you thought he shot you down about Sprite but quickly regained your happiness since he did tell you about the drink being just above average
#scp#scp scenarios#scp x reader#scp headcanons#scp x reader headcanons#scp x reader scenarios#scp 073#scp 076#scp 076 2#scp 076-2#scp 999#scp 682#scp 049#scp035#scp 105#scp 106#scp Iris#scp abel#scp Cain#scp dr bright#scp Jack bright#scp dr Jack bright#scp dr glass#scp Simon glass#scp dr Simon glass#scp dr Kondraki#scp dr Benjamin Kondraki#scp Benjamin Kondraki#scp dr clef#scp alto clef
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Imagine being that couple that breaks the bed during... y'know🥴 pt.2
A/N: Hey Y’all, I’m back at it again with the back at it again lmaooo Part 2 is here and I hope y’all like it.... This one is a little bit more vulgar (Characters are aged up 18+) Here’s PT. 1 for those who haven’t/or want to read it. And thank you guys so much for OVER 1K NOTES ON THE FIRST ONE. I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS GONE GO OFF LIKE THAT 🥺. AND I’M GLAD I MADE Y’ALL LAUGH AND FEEL THE SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT LOL
🌋KIRISHIMA🌋
On your way there, you wonder if his honesty is going to be the result of another flustered mess that you can't see your way out of
You get to the store, and immediately everyone greets you; your face is welcoming, but on the inside, your grieving.
Kiri goes up to a clerk focusing on curtains and asks where to find a bed frame.
Willing to help, they show you where to acquire them. Kiri asks about different sets doing his best to seek out more superb quality. The clerk is understanding, looking to please their current customer, informing that they have more in the back.
He's grateful, and playfully the clerk asks why y'all need a new bed frame, and Kiri says,
"She called me “Big Daddy Riot,” and I snapped, and now we're here."
So straight to the point, the clerk blankly stares at you, but you hide your face not to make eye contact.
"A-anyway, whatever sturdy frame you have is fine, no matter the cost," pulling out his wallet, he says, "I'm ready to pay."
Now you should be embarrassed but now... You're kinda turned on. He was so serious about taking care of this that calling him big daddy was totally worth it.
No matter the purchase, he's very thorough with his expectations, the manly way.
And there’s just something so manly about a man pulling out his wallet with that "I'm willing to pay" attitude. Whether it's his tone, the way he grips his wallet, imagining it’s you being gripped like that (again)...🤤
You smile awkwardly to the clerk, “Give us your best, please?”
And so they do, not only with a complimentary warranty that you can renew anytime but with WATERPROOF SHEETS.
Heading back to the car, Kiri packs everything in the trunk and backseat, then comes to your side of the car. You get in saying, “Well, that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”
"Well, don’t speak too soon, Princess. They just gave us some high-quality merchandise, but we don’t know how long it’ll last.” Pulling out of the parking lot, he looks at you with a quick wink, “I mean, not everything can be unbreakable like me, right babe?"
⚡DENKI⚡
This spicy, smart-ass.
It's definitely your fault, and he's gonna remind you all the way there.
Getting in the store, it’s not your first time there, so you already know where to find the frames.
Only you care that it matches the rest of the bedroom’s aesthetic, which could make the process harder.
Denki teases you, saying that it doesn't matter and that you should just choose a bed frame so that y'all can go the fuck home.
A clerk nearby sees y'all having a hard time, offering to help.
You tell them that you need a bed frame that fits your eccentric bedroom. They understand and go through the ones that you've already seen.
You say that you need something more robust than what's been displayed.
They nod, telling you they have the perfect set, disappearing to the back. They come back, and the set is perfect, but Denki is a skeptic.
"Hold on, babe, I'll handle this" He inspects the box looking at the weight of it, leaving no word on the damn box unread. He finishes and says, "Sorry, just had to make sure, wouldn’t want a part 2 of Pew Pew now, would we?"
Your eyes dart to him, the clerk is confused, "What's Pew Pew?"
Imitating a prince-charming tone, he says, "The weakness my true love bestows upon me it is strong and keeps me on edge."
The clerk waits for you to explain, but you say nothing.
Breaking out of character, he says, "Basically, she got on top of me and wanted to spell out my name, resulting in...... yeah."
He shows a photo, and your stomach drops to your ass, "WHEN DID YOU TAKE THOSE?????"
"When your fine ass was taking a shower, you're crazy if you thought I would keep this to myself!"
Y’all get the set, and buy more towels and get complimentary candles. You put Denki on WAP suspension too 😔 , lmao.
📼SERO📼
No offense but y'all a goofy-ass couple lmao
Y'all just be doing anything in the bedroom and now y'all at the store looking GOOFY-HYUCK
"Well, it started with how high could she jump onto me, and it resulted in a WWE match...."
Sero showed pictures of the private handy work that led you two to go shopping for something more sturdy...
Why the fuck does the room look like discount Cirque Du Soleil? His tape is all over the fucking ceiling, on the floor, and most importantly the bed frame because you dizzy, one brain cell together having asses tried taping the bed back together just to keep on fucking
Resulting in the frame FALLING TO SHREDS
The clerk has never seen no chaotic shit like this in their life!
It is so fucking bad they have to use EYE DROPS, just to confirm WTF they're looking at
"I know it looks bad, but at least we're not hurt" He smiles so earnest it’s almost as you weren't sexually destructive beings.
The clerk disappeared, coming back after 10 minutes with 3 other clerks as they carried a set filled with steel, metal chains, and high-quality leather.
The clerk said, "This is a one of a kind set; if you manage to break it, we will personally build you a steel cage so that your wrestling match can continue."
Sero looks at you, excited, "Wow, Babe, let's buy it."
Y’all buy the bed set and get a lifetime coupon of high-quality sex toys sent to your home, and of course, y’all try the shit out without thinking of the aftermath.
Back at square one, and the clerks are scared of y’all now
😈SHINSOU👿
Already at the store and Shinsou is doing all the talking to the clerk~
"I told her to go to sleep; she defied me, so I had to punish her..." Realizing he said it out loud, he looked at your face.
If only you could Thanos yourself
The clerk looked slightly uncomfortable, "Well, from what you are describing, I don't know how that would result in breaking the bed."
"Well, my Kitten is a little disobedient and needs many forms of... persuasion."
Putting his hand on your shoulder, he showed his wicked smirk.
I mean, was he wrong? He wouldn't even let you do the talking. If you spoke out, he would turn up the vibrator attached to your clit.
That was the challenge he placed on you before y’all left the house, and you willingly obliged until he told you his condition. Now he had total power to switch the narrative like it wasn’t him waking you up in the middle of the night after coming back from a long day of heroism.
The clerk squinted at you with a worried/ suspicious look... "O-okay, give me a moment."
They come back out with an exclusive set that was just imported overseas. The box images make it look so beautiful and regal; you’re shocked, wanting to tell him how much you love it but don’t wanna say.
Knowing Shinsou, it’s a trap to punish you.
"Wow, that’s beautiful. We’ll take it.”
Sometimes his dominant side pisses you off, but it’s clearly a turn on, you want to mouth off, but you nod instead.
Shinsou pays for the bed frame along with some pillows, and the clerk offers complimentary essential oils that you can come back and get free refills.
Heading to the car, Shinsou sweetly asks, “Now that we have reinforcements, are you ready to go again, Kitten?"
#eijirou kirishima x reader#Denki x reader#sero x reader#shinsou x reader#mha imagines#mha hcs#mha x reader#absoluteindulgence headcanons
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We don’t have to dance
Explicit
Shinso / Reader(OC)
M / F
Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
I mean there's some plot in my head but y'all don't get to see that haha
Cunnilingus
Blow Jobs
Hitoshi is a good boy
he asks for consent
Brainwashing
Oral Sex
Vaginal Sex
Unprotected Sex
Aged-Up Character(s) obviously
Light Dom/sub
Choking
Ahegao
Smut
He glanced across the overcrowded room, observing acquaintances and strangers as they socialized and sipped their drinks, swaying to the beat of the music. The open space of the hero office had been rearranged as to accommodate as many individuals as possible for this year’s Christmas celebration.
Shinso had never really been the type who partied, but he thought it was important to attend, if only for appearances sake. As a new Pro-hero, he believed it was a necessity to demonstrate he was a team player.
He took a mouthful of his cider, feeling it burn down his throat as he swallowed the effervescent drink. He never really drank either, but he enjoyed a nice glass every once in a while.
The couch he rested on was quite comfortable, he thought to himself as he settled back into it. He was more than content in just sitting here all evening until he believed it was acceptable to leave. He wasn’t interested in idle conversation about the weather or whatever these people were gossiping about to one another.
However, the universe had other plans for him it seemed, as Denki quickly approached him, shots in hand.
“Hey bestie, down this and let’s go get some ladies.” The blond handed the liquor towards him, urging him to take it, waggling his eyebrows and winking.
Shinso sighed, ignoring the offending alcohol currently being offered to him. “What ladies, Denki? We are at the bottom of the food chain here.”
“My dude, it’s a Christmas office party. Have you never seen a movie in your life? Things always get spicy at Christmas office parties.” He cackled, downing one of the shots and throwing the empty cup behind him. He pulled another from behind his back.
The purple haired man made a face, before chuckling quietly. “Where did that one come from?!”
Denki shrugged, shoving the two shots into Shinso’s hands. He rolled his purple eyes, giving in to maybe the only true friend he had.
He brought them to his lips, one after the other, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and placing the empty receptacles on the table by him. Of course Denki had chosen peppermint schnapps.
“I’m only going to be your wingman, and only because you could really use the support.” He said with a bored tone to his voice as he pushed himself up from the sofa. Denki whooped enthusiastically, rushing off to where Shinso could only assume the ladies were.
He unhurriedly trailed after him, making his way between the gatherings of individuals, being vigilant as to not come into contact with anyone as he passed them. He wasn’t fond of strangers to start, much less being touched by them in any way.
He was terrific at communicating when he was obligated to, which was merely when he was required to use his Quirk. He still had issues with it and, even now, citizens still told him it was better suited for a villain, but he’d come to terms with not being able to please everyone. As long as he did a respectable job as a pro-hero and protecting the populace, then he would be happy.
Once he finally made it beyond the crowd and to where Denki had run off to, said man was being rejected by yet another woman.
Jaw clenched as not to show any suggestion of a smirk, he clapped the blond on the back in sympathy.
“You’re aiming way too high, Denki. And you try too hard.” He said simply, unsure if it was the right thing to say or not. Nonetheless, the shorter man smiled up at him, seemingly undeterred by yet another loss.
“Let’s go play foosball!” Denki hollered, forcing him in the direction of the tabletop game, stealing two additional beverages as a waiter walked by them.
They played a few rounds, one versus the other. Shinso loathed to admit it, but he had struggled to keep up with the innate talent Denki appeared to have at the game.
Just as he began to genuinely start enjoying his night, Denki sprinted off, declaring he needed to piss. Shinso took the moment alone to survey his surroundings once more, taking in the sight of people’s inhibitions all but forgotten as alcohol started influencing their behaviors. He took another sip of his own drink, finishing it in one gulp.
If he was being honest with himself, he was also starting to feel the affects drinking had on his body and on his mind.
He leaned onto the wall behind him, arms crossed on his chest as Denki came into sight, marching towards him, arms intertwined with the two women at his sides.
One of them he recognized as Jiro, whom he was relatively convinced Denki had a major crush on. The other, however, he could not recall ever having the pleasure of meeting.
“Shinso, don’t be rude, say hi!” He rolled his eyes before nodding silently at them both. “Good enough. Okay! Me and Jiro against the two of you. Let’s do this.”
/\*\/*/\*\/*/\*\/*/\*\/*/\*\/*
Shinso was sure Denki had let him win for some odd reason his mind could not fathom.
As the two of them argued over why they lost the game, he cleared his throat, offering his hand to the shorter woman by his side
“I’m Shinso. Hitoshi Shinso. It’s nice to make your acquaintance”
She smiled, giving him a firm handshake.
“I know who you are, Brainwashing Hero.” His eyes widened, astonished anyone, let alone an alluring young woman, would know who he was. Was she not frightened of his quirk like everyone else had been? “My name is Aruna Ai.”
He heard himself hum before the words spilled from his mouth like word vomit.
“The moon does not fight. It attacks no one. It does not worry. It does not try to crush others. It keeps to its course, but by its very nature, it gently influences. What other body could pull an entire ocean from shore to shore? The moon is faithful to its nature and its power is never diminished.” He finished, taking a deep breath after such a long-winded sentence.
“Did you just quote Deng Ming-Doa’s Everyday Tao: Living with Balance and Harmony at me?” Aruna stared at Shinso, brows furrowed as her lips quirked up.
His hand found the back of his neck as heat rose to his cheeks in mortification, unable to look directly at her.
“Sorry, I don’t know where that came from, heh.” He continued to look everywhere but her, feeling crushingly stupid. Aruna chuckled, placing the palm of her hand on his muscular arm and squeezing.
“Don’t worry so much. I’m already a fan.” An overwhelming sense of calm overtook him then, like something paranormal was causing him to relax.
“What’s your quirk?” He blurted. He scratched his skull, once again mortified that he seemed to not have a filter tonight.
She squeezed his arm again before dropping her hand to her side, smiling brightly up at him.
“Well aren’t you just the most perceptive man?” She crammed her hand into her pockets, rocking back and forth on the heels of her shoes, seemingly deep in thought.
He patiently watched her.
“I can manifest emotions in others if I have direct skin contact with them. My power varies depending on the cycle of the moon though.”
He felt his eyebrow arch in curiosity. It was sort of similar to his own quirk, when he thought about it.
“That is truly fascinating, Aruna.”
She huffed and laughed. “Not as fascinating as being able to brainwash someone. I wonder what it feels like.”
“Care to find out?” He couldn’t believe the words leaving his own mouth.
“I would love to.” No hesitation in her voice, only a slight blush stained her cheeks.
His eyes narrowed as he stared into hers. “Are you sure?” His voice low.
She rolled her eyes “Of course I’m sure, Shin-“ Her eyes glazed over as her mind went blank.
“Follow me.” Came the command.
Although she had no control over her own movements, her mind was still aware enough to realise what was happening.
She was led across the crowds and through the halls. He silently guided her into an unoccupied office, small cots lined up on the walls.
He released his hold on her mind, allowing her a moment to turn around and leave, if she so chose.
His gaze never left her face, eyes concentrated on the way her cheeks darkened. Mortified, no doubt.
They remained standing, unmoving for long moments. Hesitation welled in him for a second, unsure of himself. Aruna’s breathing came out in a sigh as she strode forward, toward him in quick steps. When she reached him, her hands grasped his clothed shoulders as she pushed herself up onto the tips of her toes, raising her lips to meet his in a sweet kiss.
Purple eyes widened at the unexpected contact.
“I just… wanted to do that of my own accord first.” She whispered as she stepped back, breathing heavier than moments before, smile on her lips.
“You look at me like you think I’m someone else.” He said simply.
Her eyes narrowed, a look he could not read painting her features.
“How do I say this… We don’t have to talk, and we don’t have to dance around it, we don’t even have to be friends. I’m attracted to you…I want you to brainwash me. And…” She paused as Shinso slowly approached her.
Eyes peered into hers, pupils dilated. “And?”
“And… I want you to use me as you wis-“ Her mouth hung open, no words coming out as Shinso gained control once again. If she could smirk, she would have.
“Come here.” Her feet pulled her to where he was now sat on one of the cots.
Large hands grasped hers. The softness of her fingers in comparison to his own, rough and calloused, felt like heaven.
Shinso had never done anything like this before and the thrill of it all made blood rush through his entire body, his heart hammering in his chest.
He looked up into her blank eyes, dick twitching against his slacks at the sight of her. He couldn’t wait to see her ruined by him.
He couldn’t get enough of her soft skin, gliding his fingers up her arm and to her neck while the other hand drifted lower, reaching under her dress.
A devilish smirk formed on his face when his fingers tightened around her throat, a soft gasp leaving her mouth.
Hiking her dress up, he dug his fingers into her hip, pulling Aruna closer, lowering his head to kiss just above his tight grip.
Teeth grazed against her skin, eliciting soft moans from above as he nipped and kissed and sucked, marking her. He hoped the resulting bruises would last weeks, reminding her of tonight.
Despite that most thought that, while under the influence of his quirk, his victims couldn’t remember what they’d done under Shinso’s control, it all depended if he wanted them to remember or not.
He most definitely wanted Aruna to remember tonight, needed her to feel and see everything he would do to her and have her do to him.
“Spread your legs.”
A hum left his lips as she did what she was told, legs far enough apart for his face to fit nicely between soft thighs.
“Good girl.” He whispered, looking up into those blank eyes, her pupils now dilated, a look of lust filling them.
He kept his gaze fixated on hers as he released her neck, hand gliding to her breast, squeezing it gently. Fuck, he couldn’t get enough of her body. Her soft curves and her even softer skin. The breathy moans that left her lips at every new sensation.
Perhaps she was the one ruining him.
Both hands were on her hips, fingers slipping under the hem of her panties, dragging them down her legs and around her feet. He placed them in his pant pocket. They were his now.
As he pressed his nose to her, he inhaled deeply, a groan ripping through his throat. Absolute heaven, the scent of her driving him crazy with need.
His tongue met her folds, licking up to her clit before bringing it into his mouth and sucking. He felt her knees go weak, the only thing holding her up straight now were his strong hands at her hips.
She tasted absolutely amazing. Shinso’s eyes squeezed shut as he devoured her. He was sure his fingers were leaving bruises. He hoped they were.
Leaving her pussy for air was torture, but he could feel his control over her slipping as he got lost in the taste of her.
“I’m going to let go of your hips now. Don’t fall.”
He wiped his chin of her juices with the back of his hand, tongue darting out to gather the droplets on his lips. He pressed his palm down onto his cock, needing some kind of touch to release the pressure building inside him.
Nimble fingers unbuckled his belt, releasing his cock from its confines. Aruna glanced down, eyes lidded.
Her own tongue slipped from her mouth, licking her lips at the sight of him slowly stroking his cock, tired eyes locked on hers.
“Come taste me.” The commanding tone sent noticeable shivers down her spine, clearly trembling where she stood.
She could feel herself resisting the request, his control wavering as pleasure began to overtake his senses.
“ Obey me.” Aruna’s knees hit the floor, palms resting on his thighs as she positioned her mouth over him.
One calloused hand cupped her cheek, guiding her lower, the other gripping the base of his cock.
The sound that rumbled through his chest was unholy as she took as much of him into her warm mouth as she possibly could, hallowing her cheeks the instant the head hit the back of her throat.
“F-fuck. Aruna” His fingers fisted into her hair, staring down at her as drool dribbled down her chin. He gently pushed her down on his cock, face fucking her softly. He didn’t want to hurt her, but fuck if her wet tongue across the underside of his dick didn’t feel like paradise.
She moaned around him as he thrust into her mouth, sending delightful vibrations through him, dick twitching in her mouth. He was losing control. He could feel it.
Her tongue swirled around the head of his cock and- he was sure it would be the end of him. This girl. How did he get so fucking lucky?
Aruna’s fingers dug into his thighs as she came up for air, his quirk weak enough from the pleasure to break out of it.
His eyes widened as she quickly rose to her feet, pushing his chest down as she settled onto his lap, sitting on his cock, sinking down on it in one swift movement.
Strong hands grasped her hips once more, furiously fucking up into her. Every moan from her lips sent heat through him.
“You like that, baby?” He asked, voice hoarse and husky.
“Y-yes. Hah. You feel so good, Hitosh-“ Her pussy tightened around him, losing herself to his control once more.
“Silly girl. Stick your tongue out for me, and don’t stop fucking yourself on my cock.”
Her eyes blank again, tongue sticking out, drooling down her face. It was absolutely stunning. So fucking beautiful, and it was all for him. He had never seen anything so breathtaking.
He stared into her face, bringing his thumb to her clit, gently pressing circles into it and watched as she shuddered, grinding on him harder, breaths coming out unevenly, whimpers escaping her lips every time he bottomed out in her.
“You’re so beautiful. Aruna. Fuck. The way I fit inside you, like we were meant to be like this.”
The words left his mouth, any shame he might have felt discarded, pleasure overwhelming his every sense. She looked amazing, tasted amazing, smelt amazing. She was perfect.
He grasped her throat again, other hand on her ass as he met her thrust for thrust. She was close, he could feel it in the way her walls clenched around him, in the way her eyes crossed, tongue still lolling from her delicious little mouth.
“Come for me, my lovely moon. “
She stilled above him, walls clenching tight one more time as her insides fluttered around him, sending him over the edge, cock spurting deep inside her, a growl leaving his throat, fingers tightening painfully around her neck.
She collapsed against his chest as he released control over her, breathing heavily in the crook of his neck as he gently caressed her back and played with her hair, calming her as she came down from her orgasm.
Shinso adjusted her dress to cover her body. His heart felt full for what seemed like the first time in his life.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Aruna.”
He felt her smile against his neck.
There was no point in saving the world if it meant losing the moon.
Art by Me
#hitoshi shinso#shinsou x reader#bnha shinsou#mha fic#shinsou smut#shinso x you#shinso#shinso simp#boku no hero academia#mha fanart#shinso fanart#hitoshi shinso fanart#boku no hero fanfic#boku no hero smut#happy birthday shinso
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Over the Hills and Far Away: Part the 7th
A/N: You guys have been so patient. And here you go! Answers! Obviously, this isn't the end, but at least you have all the info, now! Thanks for riding this crazy train with me, y'all. Oh! And I'm always happy to add people to my tag list. So, if you want a heads-up whenever I drop new content, tellll meeeeee!
Synopsis: The reader is Bobby's adopted daughter. She, Dean, etc find themselves in a strange alternate reality wherein there are no more supernatural things. Except, of course, the reader. Turns out, this is the land of Faerie, and the reader is in fact half Fae (thus, the magic). They are currently trapped by the reader's Faerie Godmother (yes, for real), and are generally freaked out. What to do, now?!
Warnings: Canon-style violence, swearing, angstiness
Word Count: 1,600ish
Then:
“The Sidhe, you stupid ape,” snarled Celine, somehow managing to make the word sound different, even though it was in fact pronounced ‘she’. “The ruling class of the Fae. Your owner is a noblewoman, however loosely that term applies.” She flicked her eyes over you in a disgusted glance.
You and Dean began talking at the same time.
“My owner? Look here, bitch-”
“I’m sorry- are you telling me I’m a freakin’ faerie princess?”
“Of course not, girl,” snapped Celine (she ignored Dean completely). “You are only half Fae. Your birth was a necessary abomination. Your cow mother never even knew what you are. Or what you were born to be.”
You felt your cheeks flush, despite yourself. “What was I born to be, then?”
“The Tithe to Hell, of course.”
Now:
“The what?” Sam said into the stunned silence.
“The Tithe,” you forced the words out through numb lips. “It’s how faeries keep their immortality. Every seven years, they pay Hell to keep Death off their backs. It’s like blood money.”
“Not like, goddaughter,” Celine looked at you through her lashes, “It is quite literally blood payment. Every seven years one of our people is sacrificed to Hell, to maintain the rest of us. A few hundred years ago, we began to realize that even with our immortality, our numbers were dwindling. We do not multiply as humans do, and eons of Tithes had decimated us. Then, my brother hatched the plan to save us. He discovered that he could mate with humans. The resultant offspring would be half Sidhe- magical enough to pay the Tithe- but not of our own race, so our ranks would not diminish. When the child reached seven years old, it would be brought to Faerie, and be reared here until its turn to be given over to the ruler of Hell. You were bred for this purpose. You are a sacrificial goat, nothing more. But you were stolen from us,” she turned rage-molten eyes on Bobby, “and when we finally found you, you had been reared by humans, instead. When we took you, we couldn’t just plop you in the pen with the other half-breeds. We had to create an entire world, so you wouldn’t attempt to escape.”
“A whole world just for me?” You scoffed, sarcastically. “You really shouldn’t have.”
Celine continued as though you hadn’t spoken.
“This pocket of Faerie that we are inhabiting- think of it as your holding cell. We broke our backs to make it as comfortable as possible for you- going so far as to include your pet and his herd,” she waved her hand at Dean, Sam, Sarah and Bobby. “That even took a little burgling of Heaven, but we did it, to make you happy.” She said it like she only had a passing acquaintance with the concept. “However, you were continually ungrateful, and couldn’t just accept what had been handed to you. So I had to step in.” She sniffed. “No matter. My obligation is almost concluded. The Hellking will be here to collect you when the sun sets again.”
You sensed Dean stiffen with a fear he couldn’t quite hide; at least not from you or Sammy. He had been to Hell. He knew what was waiting there. His reaction terrified you more than you thought possible, but you fought to keep control of yourself.
“Let me make somethin’ crystal clear to you, lady,” snarled Bobby. “I will be damned- again- if you are gonna hand my daughter over to Crowley!”
“Oh, but you are damned, old man. Or as good as,” said Celine. She swept her eyes over Bobby and Sarah, and gave Sam a wicked smile. “You ate Fae food. All three of you are ours, now.”
“What about me, huh? Don’t want me after I kicked your asses, last time?” Dean pulled Celine’s focus off of his brother.
“Oh, I would have loved to finally see you in chains, boy,” Celine sighed wistfully. “But that mark on your back says you go with my goddaughter.”
“What mark?” You scoffed. But Dean was shifting in his seat, looking nervous. “Dean? What mark?”
“When she tried to claw me,” Dean said in a low voice. “My back burned. Like a brand.”
‘You Claimed him’ Celine had said. Somehow, you had damned the love of your life along with you. You thought of how you had spent last night- holding Dean, running your fingers across his lower back, fiercely telling yourself that you’d never be parted.
‘You Claimed him’
You began shaking your head back and forth, half in denial, half to clear your thoughts. Dean would not go back to Hell because of you. Sammy, Sarah, and Bobby would not be bound to Faerie because of you. That was unacceptable.
“No,” you croaked around gathering tears. You were on your feet. You didn’t remember standing. “No, no, NO!” You screamed. “You can take me- fine! Use me to pay your damn bar tab. But you leave my family out of this! You leave Dean out of this! You hear me, bitch?!”
Your magic was surging through you again, and without conscious thought, you threw your left hand out towards Celine, like a shove. There was another flash of golden light, and her head whipped to the side, as though you had slapped her.
Celine snarled and leapt out of her seat at you, but you were quicker. You threw the silver knife at her, and it hit home- just under her collar bone. At the same time, Dean ducked down to drive his ice pick into her side.
Dean jerked back as lightning began to spark between the two blades, and Celine’s body arched in agony. She screamed like metal scraping on a window pane, and... shattered.
That was the only word for it- she shattered like a glass vase. You all threw hands and arms up to protect your eyes from the jagged bits of godmother-shrapnel. A wild wind rose out of nowhere, and the glittering shards were swept up into a funnel of air and carried out the door of the shack, into the night.
The knife and ice pick clattered to the floor.
A roaring silence followed, in which you all tried to make sense of what had just happened. Sarah recovered first.
“Ok,” she said, looking around the shack, “we need something to use as paint. Devil’s trap on the floor, sigils on the windows. We are going dark until this shit blows over.”
“Blows over?” Sam looked at her, incredulous. “Sarah, we’re stuck in an alternate dimension, waiting for the freaking King of Hell to come and drag away our sister-in-law! It’s not gonna just blow over!”
“Maybe not,” said Bobby, “but that don’t mean we just sit here twirlin’ on our thumbs.” He had cut his own arm, and was already using his blood to draw a warding sigil on the window over the sink.
~~~~~
You all worked through the night. There was some red paint on one of the shelves- it must have been leftover from when Cas made the sign, out front. No, you thought, Cas was never here. None of this is real. How are we finding leftover paint from a sign that was magicked into being? But you had more pressing non-metaphysical questions to deal with at the moment, so you used the paint for the devil’s traps at both doors. No salt in the shack (no surprise there, Fae hate the stuff), but you were able to carve sigils into the walls and windows. You emptied the cars of all your weapons and piled them on the table. Sarah set to work organizing and cleaning them. You watched her for a moment, as she oiled and checked the mechanism on a handgun. She was perfect for Sam. You mourned the fact that they’d never gotten together. In the real world, anyway. And now... You swallowed hard and got back to business.
You were crawling around, focused on getting the back door devil’s trap just right, when Dean came over, crouched down beside you, and took the brush from your hand.
“How you holding up, Hermione?” The use of his personal pet name served to lighten the mood, but only by a fraction.
“Maybe you should switch to calling me Tinkerbell,” you gave him a half smile. “Apparently, that’s more accurate.”
He pretended to think it over. “Nah,” he said, “you’re too smart for that. You’re my Hermione. Always will be. But you didn’t answer me. How you doing?”
You sat on the floor, pulled your knees up under your chin, and regarded him for a moment. Someone had found an old radio, and CCR was growling in the background.
“Whoa, thought it was a nightmare, Lo, it's all so true, They told me, "Don't go walkin' slow, the Devil's on the loose." Better run through the jungle…”
“How am I?” You pushed out a sigh that seemed to start in your toes. “I am… freaking the fuck out. I finally get answers to all my questions, and the reality is worse than anything I could have imagined. And I’m going to Hell. And I’ve marked you as my carry-on. It’s like… I'm so far past upset that I’ve gone numb.”
Dean scooted forward, careful not to smudge the paint on the floor, and wrapped his arms around you. He held on so tight, your knees dug into your throat and your spine popped slightly and you didn’t care about the discomfort at all. When he loosened his hold, it was only enough to drop his big hands onto your shoulders and angle you to meet his eyes.
“You listen here. You are not going to Hell. Crowley can come and give it his best shot, but I’ll go down swinging before I hand you over. You hear me? We all will.” His eyes flicked around the room at everyone else. He meant it as comfort, but it just reminded you that you had screwed things up. Not just for yourself, but for everyone you loved. You put on your brave face and gave him a small smile.
“I love you. So fucking much, it’s impossible,” you whispered. Then you kissed him before he could say anything else, gave him a little nudge back, and said, “Now scoot. I’ve got to finish that rune at the upper corner.”
~~~~~ ~~~~~ Tune in next Thursday for more! And there will be smut in the next chapter! (Weee!)
Tags: @mamaredd123, @raelady1184, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @icecream-and-gadreel, @deevoon, @aprofoundbondwithdean, @mrsgabrieltrickster, @singingphoenix, @spnguiltypleasures, @emilyymichelle
#dean x reader#magic!reader x dean#magic!reader#fae!reader#faekin fic#spn fic#spn fanfic series#Over the Hills and Far Away
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Assessment: Starbucks’ Hotly Anticipated Pumpkin Spice Latte
Overview: Starbucks’ Hotly Anticipated Pumpkin Spice Latte
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