#y’all want crusty you GET crusty

[bmcblr-remake]

bmcblr sings: (apparently both versions of) more that survive

[vpzllx]

ೃ⁀➷ CREEPYPASTA S/O HEADCANNONS ೃ⁀➷

SYNOPSIS - Just how the creepypasta characters would be like as your s/o :)

PAIRINGS - Jeff the killer x Reader, “Ticci” Toby x Reader, Eyeless Jack x Reader, Ben Drowned x Reader, Hoodie/Brian x Reader.

ೃ⁀➷ JEFF THE KILLER

Tbh Jeff a lil bitch 🤷‍♀️ it’s not like yk he’s js mean n shit even though he’s just mean n shit.

Like for instance say if y’all were just sitting on the couch cuddlin n shit and then someone walks in the room, He’s pushing you off of him immediately.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to be affectionate, He just doesn’t want people seeing, He’d do a casually hug or hold hands around people but he’d never kiss you or anything like that around people idk why 🤷‍♀️

But back to what i said about him being a lil bitch this mf will tease you and tear your ass up 😭, Y’all could be casually play fighting on the bed and he’ll push you off on purpose then laugh at you. Or He would walk up and say some random shit like for expample

Jeff : You built like a capital P

You : what??

He’s just random asf but also When you two are alone oml this man is so vulnerable like he’d cuddle up next to you n shit, To the point that when he breaths out shorty ur breathing in that same air. He loves when u play w his hair even though it’s crusty asf (Please wash his hair)

For rating umm hes like a good 7/10

ೃ⁀➷ “TICCI” TOBY

how do i say this ummm… He’s bipolar and yall both hate it.

It’s so… Like one moment y’all are kissing and wtv then he js pushes you off of him and walks away and your js there like “?? wtf” And then after he’ll come back and kiss you and apologize and again your just like “wtf??” But you don’t mind since he actually apologized.

Attachment issues. He will threaten you if you ever want to leave 😟 or like you tryna go to the store and bitch he js stops you he grabs your wrist and is like “go sit yo ass down” BUT NOT LIKE THAT 😭 and you js go sit down best option tbh.

He likes laying his head in between your thighs for some reason idk like especially if you got em big ol thighs 😍 and when you stroke his hair it’s like love.

When y’all are sleeping together … he’s stiff this man doesn’t move it he falls asleep in one position you will wake up and see him in that same position, And it’s bad to the point when sometimes you gotta check and see if he’s not dead, If he wakes up while your doing so he’s lookin at you like “tf is u doing?”

He’s a good kisser don’t question it but istg, You could be in the kitchen getting something to eat he js walks up behind you flips you facing him and he js kisses you bitch tongue deep in ur mouth (He got that W rizz 🫵😜)

He’s like a good ummm 7/10 too

ೃ⁀➷ EYELESS JACK

He has definitely watched you sleep more than 5 times…

He not tryna be creepy with it he just wants to make sure that you’re sleeping well it’s all outta love. But ngl sometimes he will wake you up by biting your neck n shit but are you really complaining?? Right i didn’t think so.

If you ever cut yourself he’s the number one person for you to go to He was a medical student yk before the whole … scarfice thing … But if your bleeding heavy don’t step within a feet of him, istg he gonna start buggin out and most likely will try to eat you (Outta love tho).

I can say his tongue is very long … ;) Like make out sessions end in a snap then y’all end up fuckin 🤷‍♀️ (we can get to those fuckin headcannons another day 😘).

He used to be a good cook but since he doesn’t eat … people food anymore he just stopped cooking but if you’d ask him to make you something he’d do it for you no questions asked, Like maybe sometimes you’d wake up to breakfast in bed from him 😜.

He’s a quiet person to say the least tho like you barely see him interact with other pastas or wtv tf they called but yeah he’s usually by himself or with you one of the two.

He’s a 10/10 at everything 😘

ೃ⁀➷ BEN DROWNED

He has definitely asked you multiple times if you wanted to film y’all fuckin …

He has made you try playing games mostly horror games or shooters in which either you rage quit or got scared and quit, He enjoys seeing you scared or seeing you js upset and angry.

If your the type of person who brings their phone into the bathroom with them he’d use that as an advantage and js crawl out of ur phone.. He has done that multiple different times.

When y’all hug he either sniffs you or your hair and then your js like “Did he sniff my hair..?” He does it cause he doesn’t wanna forget what you smell like idk why but yk .. Attachment issues.

He always notices little slight things about you. Like you cut your hair a bit..He knows, You just cut your nails..He knows, Just got new underwear..He knows.

He’s most def a 8/10 yk minus the little weird things… 👴

ೃ⁀➷ HOODIE

Yeah um… This man will manipulate and make you think that you’re nothing without him … (outta love tho)

He doesn’t genuinely care abt what you do unless it involves another person specifically another man, That’s when he starts to care.

Since he’s uhm a drug addict he would def try to get you high at some point, and when you do he would record the whole experience js for shits n giggles idk

Also same as ben he has probably asked if you wanted to record yall fuckin but even if you say no he’s not talking at as an answer, He will record it and then after show you … 😟

He likes it mostly when your vulnerable bc he could spew so many lies to you just so you won’t leave him (Best manipulator i’ve ever seen)

When y’all sleep together, you have to be directly laying on top of him or else he’s not sleeping. Period.

He’s a 6/10 (but he’s so fine 😖🫶) Yeah but umm he has a lot of problems …

.

.

.

.

I gotta do another one but yk it’s more nice or either it’s gonna be very nsfw 🫵😭

[portgasdwrld]

📂 Op men + flirty reader

Featuring: Monster trio + Ace

Warning: suggestive, fluff otherwise 🫧

Gender neutral reader ✨

Luffy

Luffy was most of the time not even aware of your flirting with him until he noticed Nami and Robin chuckling in the corner faced to your defeated expression. He would look at them confused and back at you who was now pouting. He would probably ask you directly to explain what you meant …

-No, you reply with a pout as you dive into the delicious food, after your love interest asked you to repeat what you said.

-Ahhh, why not ?Come on tell meee, I wanna laugh too!

- You can be so dumb sometimes omg, you grumble annoyed.

Luffy just complimented your new outfit and you thought it would be amusing to reply with something flirty and you did. You told him you would look better without it if he wanted to take care of it.

He didn’t even listen to you as he was devouring his plate (literally). So you just stood there astonished and sat down to eat in defeat.

Zoro

He’s either ignoring you and blushing, or snapping back and blushing.

Zoro have been working out as usual, nothing at all special for you or the others. But you loved watching him, it was the way his tan body was glistening from his sweat and the warm heat of the sun, that just does it for you. His muscles flexing and his exhausted facial expression >

-Enjoying the view?, he finally snaps after you have been watching him for over an hour with now a refresher from Sanji. He was wiping his sweat away with a towel as he glared at you.

You sip from your drink and squint your eyes at him as a smirk curve your lips.

-Why? Am I making it hard for you to focus ?

You reply while sustaining the eye contact with him.

-I wasn’t expecting to have spectators, if you ask me.

He retorts while lying down ready to bench press again.

- It’s hard not to, when you are attractive like that.

You continue. He didn’t reply and only mumbled a “pervert” under his breath. Tho, you saw the way he blushed and smirked, but tried to hid it by continuing his workout.

Sanji

Flirting with Sanji is like personally trying to kill his poor heart. You say something and his head is already 10 steps ahead and suddenly he’s imaging having a family with you and dying together in the name of love. Yeah because he’s that dramatic and committed when it comes to love.

“Sanji, you always look so neat and classy. I live for it, it makes a change from the usual crusty pirates i used to bump into.” you sigh as you lean over the kitchen table, your hands cupping your smiling face.

That’s it, hearing those words from your beautiful mouth sent him to heaven just there. His cigarette falls in the water where he was washing the dishes and with heart eyes he turns his body to you. Seeing your smile and mischievous eyes, almost made his heart stop (or mouth drool-).

-Y/N-SWAAAN. IM SO GLAD YOU APPRECIATE IT~

You chuckle from his reaction as he grabbed your hands. You take the chance and liberate one hand to pat his blonde hair.

-You’re adorable, you reply with a giggle.

…Sanji haven’t recovered yet from this :/

Ace

It turns into a competition. Who can make the other one the most flustered. He always considered himself pretty flirty and confident in his skills, but when he met you, he met his rival. It just get shameless at some point and the others have to sometimes tell y’all to take it to close door…

After a long day on a mission, the crew had decided to throw a little party on the boat to cheer everyone up. Games were being played and you obviously decided to take part of it. It was going well until someone dared you to kiss Ace on his cheek. The freckled man slightly blushed and took a sip of his sake while shrugging his shoulders when you asked if he was fine with it.

-Anyway I will make it quick and sweet, or maybe I can go slow if that’s what you’re into?

You sheepishly say as you get close to him to complete your dare under the eyes of your curious crewmates.

-We’re still talking about a cheek-kiss here ?

He smirks while raising one of his eyebrow. You bow down a little to his level and placed your lips in front his ear, slightly brushing it.

-Well, maybe not.

-If you wanna fuck, you can just say that.

He just blurs out making everyone gasp. You grin and give him your most innocent facial expression before quickly pecking his cheeks.

- Come on, I’m not that easy.

My first time writing for one piece. Woop. Hope y’all liked it! Let me know🫶🏻

[chrisgetsmewetter]

Mile high club

Pairing: Bratty!Black!fem x Dom!chris

Summary: you and chris are in a private plane section together, what’s gonna happen when everyone on the plane is sleeping and it’s just you two?

Warnings: Dirty talk, Overstimulation, sex obvi, oral, p in v, pet names (mama, ma, baby)

word count: 5.6k

authors note: i hope u guys like this one😝 i had a fun time writing it and i think y’all will like it toooo. enjoy you lil freaky frogs

you and Chris have been together for over a year, which is crazy because of how much commitment issues he said he had.

you’ve gone public recently and most people have given you a ton of loves so now your youtube channel of 7.3mil has went up to 9mil.

because of this you and the triplets had the idea to go on a combined tour which sold out immediately. now you guys are in the airport going to the next city.

“okay ma’am step here” the security guard gets the metal detector and goes down my body slowly. then you look at chris nervously as they get down to my boobs

“BEEP BEEP BEEP!!” chris bursts out laughing and can’t even stand up straight so he leans on matt who chuckles but hides it

“um ma’am..” the security guard looks at me awkwardly

“oh sorry i have piercings..” the security guard widens his eyes and nods then continues scanning my body.

you notice chris staring at your ass as you impatiently wait for the security guard to be done

just when he finishes scanning the triplets you push chris by his arm “chris why’d you laugh at me” you pout as he laughed even harder.

“passengers on private flight 2834 to Chicago start boarding now” you and nick start jumping up and down excited to get on the plane “i can’t believe we got a private planeee i’m so excitedddd”

“I CALL SHARING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND” chris yells. you slap his arm for being so loud since it’s nighttime.

nick rolls his eyes and groans already walking towards the plane then matt grabs your small suitcase that chris nor you couldn’t carry

he looks at nick and frowns jokingly “so u don’t wanna sit with me nick” matt says in his baby voice

“no actually. i want to sit by my best friend but chris’ crusty bitchass won’t let me, i know it”

you see chris stick his tongue out at nick while smacking your ass “chris stop acting like a child” you say

“your ass just looks so good in those shorts ma i can’t help it” chris whispers in your ear and you can’t help to smile but also low key squeeze your thighs together

*

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- heyy bae how’s the flighttt?

little troll😻🧌- hii madii the pilot said we just took off and aren’t expected any turbulence, so me and chris are abt to watch a movie

little troll😻🧌- nick n matt are already sleep even tho we jus got on😔🤦🏾‍♀️

Madi w that fattyyy- i wish i could’ve cameee, what time is it where u are??

little troll😻🧌- it’s 11:25 at night girl we’re still in LA😭

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- oh..

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- wait. so u and chris in a private plane at night with evb sleep😧

little troll😻🧌- yes..🌚

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- y’all r abt to join the mile high club😰

little troll😻🧌- no.. we’re not madi😡

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- yea okay..

read 11:28

*

“what movie mama” chris takes your phone and throws it on the other side of him

“ooo let’s watch adventures in babysitting” you start to get excited and pull the blanket over yourself

“newer or older?” chris says smirking already putting on the older one

“noo the newer one is better why are we watching the old one”

“because we’re not gonna watch the movie” chris turns the volume up a little and takes his shirt off

“chris not in the plane !!” you whisper yell then look to see if anybody might’ve woke up

he takes advantage of you not paying attention and slowly slips your shorts off

“my god chris calm down” u see him slide under the blanket and pull your panties off

“we won’t have a lot of time to do this on tour so let’s take advantage of it.“ he looks up at you with low eyes “can i?”

as soon as you nod your head he slowly puts his long finger in your pussy.

“fuck mama ur so wet for me” he twists his finger and spits on your pussy and starts slurping it

“fuck chris oh my god” you whisper yell then chris slaps his hand over your mouth “we can’t do this on a plane !!” you squirm

“be quiet or i’m gonna stop” chris sternly looks at you and continues doing the fingering/eating combo.

he starts licking it and fingering you at an unbelievable pace then as he’s doing that chris licks up from your stomach then stops at your lips to kiss you

he starts to suck on your sweet spot right under your ear and then he feels your breathing slowly speed up and he fingers you even faster

your confused on how he’s doing it this fast but you enjoy it

“chris i’m gonna cum” you say as you feel your high coming up “yea baby cum for me” right as he said that you cum hard right on his fingers

then without giving you time to recover chris pulls his sweats taking his boxers off with them and strokes his dick and pushes it in your pussy without any hesitation

“fuck~ chris wait a sec- oh my god” you try to push his arms away but he grabs your wrists and pins them above your head

“you thought you were going a slut and wear those shorts then walk in front of me the whole day huh mama?”

you moan when you hear this, remembering that u indeed did intend to tease chris when you put them on

he smirks as he pounds into you not making as much noise as one would think “are you gonna be a good girl and give me words?”

you shake your head knowing exactly what you’re doing and what’s gonna happen. chris bites his lip and nods “well i guess i’m gonna have to treat you like the slut you are”

“turn around” his eyes are darker then ever so you comply. chris lays down, put props himself up and forcefully grabs your hair and shoved his dick down your throat

you started to lick his tip then spit on his dick making it easier to get in your mouth. you took his full length but gagged a bit.

you hear chris moan a bit as you felt his cock hit the back of your throat.

you loved every second of seeing his groan and shake because you usually have to force his submissive side to come out.

"Fuck I'm going to cum mama" chris said as he grabbed your hair. you felt his dick twitch a bit and his cum shot into the back of your throat as you swallowed it all

“fuck baby you’re such a good girl” chris wipes some saliva off of your lips and kisses you “you want me to get you some water?”

“yes please” you nod and chris helps you slide your shorts and t-shirt on.

—

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- y’all are nasty i just know it

little troll😻🧌- uhh🌚

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- disgusting🤦🏻‍♀️

[banquetwriter]

Can you do a Johnnie x reader like you go to one of Tara’s parties and it’s just you guys having fun and going home together and super cute

୨୧ Karaoke ୨୧

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ reader is hungover a lil, cursing, drinking (nothing bad tho just a party) one kiss 🤭

summary: ʚ you share a first kiss with Johnnie at another one of Taras parties ɞ

Words: 2053

An: AHHH THIS WAS SO CUTE TO WRITE WE NEED MORE FLUFFY JOHNNIE STUFF!! i hope this is what you meant and i can def do one where it’s just y’all at home (👀)

SUPPORT ME

You could hear your phone ringing. You weren't sure where exactly. You felt the natural urgency to pick your it up. You opened your eyes, squinting at the sunlight that leaked into your room. You answered the phone with a creaky little “Hello?” you asked. Flopping on your back.

The tiredness of waking up suddenly filled your body. “Y/n? ARE YOU STILL ASLEEP?” Tara’s voice shrills through your phone. You wince holding the phone away from your ear in pain. “Yes Tara, I WAS still asleep until you called me. I am still hungover… I think.” you said rubbing your eyes, you felt something weird on your hands so you looked at them only to reveal dried crusty makeup… Perfect!

Falling asleep with your makeup on is super cute. “Y/n! It's 2 pm! You have my party later! You can be hungover tomorrow, ok?” she said. You hear rattling sounds, she is presumably setting stuff up while calling you. You take the phone from your face to reveal it is, infact, 2:13 pm. You put the phone back up to your face, sighing.

“Yeah I remember, don't worry,” you mumbled, turning over. “Ok good, and take care of yourself seriously, eat like a salad or some shit,” Tara says as you let out a little giggle at her words. “Will do Tara,” you say, finally standing up and stretching.

“Bye y/n.” you hear her say before the call ends. “Mmmmm fuck.” you mumble to yourself rubbing your face, with your hands. You check your phone to see a text from Carrington asking if you are still collabing today.

“Damnit,” you mumble, pulling up the text chain. You confirmed the collaboration and suggested a video idea of streaming you guys trying the deli food from Erewhon for the first time. He agreed to the idea, you took a shower, got half ready, and filmed the stream with your friend.

All the comments talking about just how rough you looked were not helping your confidence any. You knew that they were joking but still. It didn't make you feel very good or very motivated to dress cute for the party tonight.

A party where Johnnie WOULD be. And as stupid as it was to admit you wanted to impress him so much. So after the video was filmed of eating shitty and overpriced food you managed to pull yourself together to get ready. Hoping back in a shower to shave and go the full nine yards.

You put on a damn cute outfit that was sure to earn a few edits from your fans. You did your makeup and hair to your liking and the night was looking up. You frizzed and messed with the last strand of your hair before snapping a picture for your Instagram story.

You were feeling a little mischievous and decided to put a song in the background as one of Johnnie’s. You picked “Angel of Death” since you helped him direct that one. You posted the black-and-white selfie and audibly giggled at the thought of seeing him within the next hour or so.

You hopped into an Uber and eventually made it to Tara’s party. The bright lights and music created a lively and bright atmosphere. You set your bag in Tara’s room and made your way through the living room saying hi to all your friends.

Managing to get to the rooftop where Tara and the rest of the gang were. “Heyyyy,” you said creeping up behind your short friend. “Y/n!” she shouts, wrapping her arms around you.

You get pulled into a tight and warm hug, smelling the alcohol on her breath. “Y/n, what's up?” Sam asked, looking up from his seat on a couch. Fairy lights and another speaker were set up outside.

There were a bunch of people all packed into the smaller space. “I'm good, what about you?” you ask, taking a cup from the table. “Were good were good. We just heard about you being a little hungover this morning from Tara.” Sam said, squinting as he took a sip of his drink.

You faked a look of offense as you looked at Tara. She has a giant grin making her hand into a heart as an apology. “Tsk tsk. I was not hungover! I was just recovering from one the previous day, ok?” you say in defense of yourself as you sit next to Johnnie and Colby.

“Well, that's not what we heard,” Colby said next to you, holding his hands up. “I was hungover yesterday and these two dumbasses forced me to try 7/11 pizza so yeah this morning was a rough time ok?” you say pointing to Jake and Johnnie.

Jake’s mouth flew open in offense. “Woah ok the Pizza was NOT that bad.” he grabbed a bottle of alcohol pouring some into his cup. Johnnie let out a dry laugh beside you, you turned to him smiling. “Ok, y/n we believe you. And you didn't wake up next to that server we saw mmmm?” Tara said, moving her shoulder a little.

“Hell no I didn't wake up next to no fucking server. You're one to talk by the way,” you said, sipping whatever was in your cup. “Whatever,” Tara says as you settle into the couch.

The air was cold but there were heat lamps surrounding the terrace. The next warmest thing was Johnnie's body. He was so close to yours that you could practically feel his heat radiating onto your skin. “Was the pizza that bad?” Johnnie whispered into your ear.

“No not really but Jake woke me up at the ass crack of dawn to stream that so,” you whispered back. You could smell his cologne and the smell of cigarette smoke on him. You know that smoking wasn't a good habit but fuck he did look hot when he did.

“Hey, it was like 11 when we filmed that. It was not that early ok?” he said back his voice louder this time. Not that anyone noticed. Everyone else was absorbed in their conversations at this point. You giggle slightly at his words.

Your eyes look up to meet his. It's hard under all his hair and messy eye makeup to see his bright blue eyes, but you manage. You stare into them for almost too long. You close your eyes forcing yourself to look away. You’re scared you might have never been able to look away if it wasn't for the fact you were both at a party with other people.

Including all of your and his friends who would tease you both if you were gazing into each other's eyes. “Hey, I was hungover that day, ok? 11 is way too fucking early to be up hungover.” you say in defense of yourself for what feels like the millionth time this night alone, downing whatever was in your cup.

You inhaled sharply feeling the roaring effects of the alcohol as it burned its way down your throat. “Yeah, that's completely fair,” Johnnie says, moving his head slightly to move his hair. You purse your lips together moving your body to face the group again.

Johnnie stays looking at you, his shoulders now completely blocking your view of Jake. Not that you were complaining of course. The night moved on, and you didn't drink a lot, not trying to upset your stomach further of course.

By now you, Jake, and Johnnie were all doing some shitty karaoke downstairs. You of course had picked a PTV song and were attempting to nail the notes. After your throat was sore you handed the microphone off to Jake and sat next to Johnnie once again.

Jake had picked some Billy Joel song he and was failing miserably. You and Johnnie were both giggling away at his antics. You pulled out your phone to record him. “Oh god are you actually gonna post that?” Johnnie asks with a grin.

“Duh. Probably just put it on my Instagram story,” you said nudging him slightly. There is a beat of silence between you two before Johnnie speaks again. “Is there a reason you posted your picture to my song?” Johnnie asked.

Your hands, which were still holding your phone, dropped slightly. You felt a rush of heat flood your face as your brain short-circuited. Trying to come up with an excuse for your random amount of boldness.

“Oh- I just- I-” you stuttered out turning the video off. You felt like a fish out of water flapping around for any excuse you could think of. And thank whatever god may exist as your prayers were answered as Jake handed the microphone to Johnnie.

“What? Dude, I'm not singing.” Johnnie said, looking at Jake’s hand holding the microphone. “Duuuude!” Jake says dramatically slouching down, feeling the obvious effects of the liquor. “Dude you're literally a singer,” you say looking at him, your eyebrow cocked up.

“I-” he starts to speak before looking at his friend and then at you. You nod your head in encouragement, he closes his eyes with a sigh. “Fine,” he mutters, grabbing the microphone. He takes a few seconds to queue up a song.

You don't record this time. Just laugh with your friends as Johnnie attempts to sing a song. His eyes catch yours for a moment, and his voice breaks and slowly stops working. It seems like time slows down only your heartbeat can be heard

It feels like for a few seconds your worlds combined. The eyes that were watching Johnnie apparently caught up to him as he suddenly looked around the room. He tries to pick up the pace of this song and fails miserably. Completely missing half the words.

Your breath catches in your throat and you decide you need a break. You swallow deeply, stand up and almost run out of the room. You weren't sure what you were doing, just that you felt like your insides were suffocating.

You made it to the kitchen grabbing an empty solo cup and filling it up with water. You gulped down a few drinks of it before sitting up on a counter. You wipe a drop of water that fell from your mouth as footsteps alert you someone walked into the kitchen.

You turn to see that Johnnie is slowly creeping into the room. “Hey,” you said looking back down at your feet that rested against the cabinet. “Hey,” he said, walking around the kitchen island facing you. “You okay?” he asked, leaning against the opposite counter as you.

“Y-yeah I'm fine. Just got a little intense back there I guess,” you said gesturing to the living room where we both just were. “Did you really wake up with that server?” he asks, barely able to keep eye contact.

You laugh slightly “God no.” you mutter out once again looking down. “Tara And Kat were making a bunch of jokes about it but I was never into him don't worry.” you say trying to laugh it off.

He doesn't say anything, just slowly getting closer to you. You looked up at him. You feel your eyes lock again.

You don't shy away this time. You let Yourself hold eye contact. That familiar feeling in your face travels back in. Your breaths move at similar paces as he slowly shares your space.

You tried to speak but no words came out. You're glad they don't truthfully. Johnnie's hand slowly comes up and meets your face, holding your chin. He moves in between your legs and pulls your face in for a kiss.

Your eyes flutter closed as your lips meet. You swear you could hear fireworks exploding in your brain. He was so so so close, but you needed him closer. The cup was long abandoned as your hands reached up to pull his face closer.

It seems to work as his whole body moves next to you, touching you. His hand, the other one that wasn't holding your face steady moves to hold himself on the counter.

You're not sure how long it was before you moved away from him for a breath. You feel the heat in your cheeks move down to your neck and chest and you look down. “Wanna get out of here?”

[cmthingssss]

Freudian Slip - Emily Prentiss X Reader (slight former Penelope Garcia x Reader)

A/N: Listen all, my writing is cringe, but idrc because me and my friends like it, and if y’all like it, I love y’all <3<3. Also, this is a WIP that I probably won’t finish because I have no motivation to write smut right now (in kinktober too) smh 

Summary: New to the BAU and FBI in general, you find yourself infatuated with one Emily Prentiss, an older woman who coincidentally happened to be your boss. After she learns of your past experiences with Penelope, Emily becomes ecstatic to finally get what she’s been craving. 

  WC: 1444

Fresh out of the academy, you had by some miracle gotten a job at the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. When you interviewed it was with a crusty old man with no relation because of “internal politics” or something, you weren’t really listening. He seemed to like you, in more ways than one. Too bad you played softball in college, AKA you were uber gay. On your first day, you got to meet with the team and damn… you weren’t aware that a major requirement for the job was to be hot, like model hot. The Unit Chief, Emily Prentiss you think, was the hottest of them all. Besides, everyone knew you had a thing for older women, and they weren’t wrong.

For the rest of the day and well into your first case, Emily, no, Chief Prentiss she told you, monitored you heavily. The other woman Jennifer, had taken almost a maternal role with you, and it seemed to bother Emily slightly, or maybe you were being delusional. Probably that. It felt as though she didn’t trust you or welcome your presence into her team. You were determined to warm up to her no matter what it took, and you were willing to do a lot of things you weren’t exactly proud to admit. Emily… Chief Prentiss didn’t even acknowledge you unless you were making mistakes. You brought her coffee everyday for a week? Something was always wrong with it and she threw it in the garbage. Baked her banana bread? Apparently she was allergic, even though you witnessed her eat one on the previous case. Even when the team would have a group outing and you bought everyone’s drinks, Emily would pay for her own. That’s what confused you the most, you just wanted her to like you, but she seemed to loathe you. You resorted to giving her a myriad of compliments, which she typically didn’t respond to. Recently, you’d begun thinking about Emily outside of work, and the thinking turned into fantasies which typically ended with you on all fours and Emily railing the shit out of you. It also may have involved your not-so-secret mommy kink. Those thoughts plagued your mind, even when you were awake now, every time you looked at your… much older boss, you began replaying those fantasies. After being ignored again, you tried to go back to the compliment route. 

“You look amazing mom-mily…” SHIT. The topic of your most recent sexual fantasies just slipped out of your mouth without a second thought. 

“What did you say, agent?” Emily definitely heard you and had to use every ounce of control she possessed to not blush. 

“Emily. I said Emily.” You proclaim as the tips of your ears burn in embarrassment. 

“Wrong again Agent L/N. For the last time, it’s Unit Chief Prentiss.” She looked at you with fury in her gaze, and as much as you hate to admit it, that slightly turned you on.

Embarrassed now, you mumble an apology and walk to the SUV without another word. As soon as you exited the precinct, the profilers in Emily’s vicinity started howling with laughter. 

Reid was the first to speak up, “And that is what you call a Freudian slip.” Followed by a quick slap on the head with a folder of paperwork from Morgan who also began cracking jokes. 

“Enough you guys. Y/N/N didn’t mean anything by it, maybe it was an accident.” Emily stared daggers at her team from across the table. 

“First of all, Y/N/N? We’re doing nicknames now? Secondly, they did tell me they had a thing for older women. Ask Garcia, they hooked up once.” Everyone’s jaws dropped including Emily’s. Morgan looked as if he had dropped the most obvious information in the world.

Garcia had accompanied the team on this case and had walked in the moment she heard her name, but she was bewildered. “Hooked up with who??” 

“Y/N. That’s who. When were you going to enlighten the rest of us?” Emily inquired, attempting to hide her anger. 

Penelope’s face enlightened with knowing. “Ohhhh, yeah, we were really good friends in college, before I worked here.” Garcia coughed, “It might’ve also happened after, but that’s none of your business.” 

The entire team once again burst into laughter. “WHAT?! I mean… Garcia, that's unprofessional and you need to end it.” Now Emily was the one with linguistic turmoil. She had no response to your utter lack of professionalism and thought that maybe you weren’t as cut out for the job as others thought. She’d have to have a private, disciplinary meeting with you for this. 

Meanwhile, you were sitting in the SUV awaiting whatever punishment Unit Chief Prentiss had concocted for you. You had been waiting an upwards of fifteen minutes and were getting rather bored, so you decided to pull out your phone to doom scroll. A few moments pass, and your attention gets captured by a 5 Minute Crafts-esqe video. You become so enchanted that you tune out anything happening outside the SUV, which causes you to miss the fact that Emily was angrily stomping towards the SUV, and had already entered before you noticed her presence. At the sudden intrusion of your personal space, you gasped. She then snatched your phone out of your hand. 

“Emily… excuse me, Unit Chief Prentiss. What the actual fuck is wrong with you.” You said as calmly as possible with annoyance laced into your tone. You reach for your phone back when she throws it in the back seat. 

All of a sudden she got super serious, and your eyes were trained on her face trying to decipher what was happening, “Y/N we need to talk… about your extreme lack of unprofessionalism.” 

“HUH? I’m gonna need you to explain to me how I’ve been unprofessional on this case. If anyone was unprofessional, it’s you. I’m a new agent and you’re supposed to be my mentor and boss, but you’ve done nothing but demean me ever since we met, and I still put up with it every day. Do you not think I’m tired of it? I can be a bitch, rude, blunt, but unprofessional is not one of them, so you need to take a long look in the mirror because if anyone is at fault for unprofessionalism, it’s you.” You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself before looking to her for a response. 

“I’m sorry Y/N/N, I shouldn't have been treating you like that. And I shouldn’t have been so upset about you hooking up with Penelope. It’s really because I think I have feelings for you and that’s extremely inappropriate on my part and I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way.” She actually just apologized to you, and she looks genuine, you’re not sure how to take it. 

“Well, you're just full of surprises aren’t you?” Well, there goes the vulnerability and rapport from that conversation. “Sorry, I’m not good with feelings, and since we’re being honest here, I’ve fantasized about you for weeks, which is why I’ve been desperate to please you.” 

Emily’s brows shot up at your word choice, but then she was emboldened by the comment Morgan made earlier. “Eager to please huh? We’ll see about that. I have so many things I want to do to you, but we can’t in a federally owned vehicle.” She let out a dark chuckle.

You attempted to hide your giddiness at her words, opting to nod wordlessly and allow her to take you wherever she needed. She sensed the tension that overtook your body at her admission of attraction for you, so she reached over and placed her hand on your thigh to calm you down. “You need to relax sweetheart. I’m not going to bite, unless you ask me to.” With that, you relaxed under her touch and laughed along with her. Emily began the drive to the hotel, the rest of the team in tow. You reached up and turned on the scanner to ensure that even though you were about to have the most amazing sex of your life, you needed to be vigilant about the job you came to do. 

After a short drive, you arrived at the hotel and muted the scanner. “So… where do we go from here?,” you asked nervously. Emily leaned over the console and placed her hand on your cheek lovingly. 

“We can start by going inside… whatever happens after is up to you.” You nod in agreement before getting out of the SUV and going to check in to the hotel. 

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

A near-perfect Sunday

When - the evening of Onstage and the following day, which takes place before the S02 episode Secrets. That episode involves the infamous second pharmacy trip and Lori's news coming to light.

Perspective - Daryl POV and You POV

What - Daryl's finally out of that room and is observing the group. He's still limited post-concussion and with his other injuries, but he'll still do what he can for Sophia. As for you, your perspective on your brother shifted so well to the positive that you get brave enough to tell Shane about your idea to leave for Fort Benning with just him.

TWs - I think there's a few cusses? some grieving

Who - this is part of the Slowpoke Series, which is a canon compliant slow burn Reader x Daryl, where Reader is Shane's younger sibling. Carol and Shane are the other characters featured most in this chapter

Pronouns - she/her

Catch up on what you've missed so far with the Masterlist

(Things have been going poorly, I'd love some prayers. Kind feedback is always welcome, too, even on old, crusty chapters XD)

---------------------------

---------------------------

“Teddy, would you be open to going to the church to do church tomorrow? The one they found on the second bad day?” he heard her ask T-Dog. “I washed my dress so I could re-wear it.” She nodded to where the dress the teenage girl had given her was hanging off the line. “A proper Sunday?”

Obviously, the guy was all in for it, thought it was a great idea, and started asking others near the campfire if they’d come. “Hey Daryl — c’mon brother, you know you gotta come and give thanks with us that you ain’t dead!” T-Dog said to him with a big old smile.

“We’re lightin’ that candle, remember? You survived against all odds, it’s a candle occasion,” Y/N chattered on. “I think it’ll be a near perfect Sunday, so much has happened.”

Except. From what Daryl remembered clearly about that little chapel, the one that’d had that bell sounds on timer, had three geeks put down in it. Hell, he’d been responsible for one of them.

Y/N and T-Dog wouldn’t know, they hadn’t been there. On that day, T-Dog was all fevered up and Y/N had that migraine. She caught up with them late to the search party, but he thought Y/N had mentioned not having gone inside the church even though she wanted to. That’d been the day Carl got shot.

But Daryl didn’t wanna be the one to mention the bodies left in there, not to the two of them.

He noticed Carol looking at them then back to her lap a few times. She caught his gaze. Daryl just looked down and slightly shook his head. ‘Not it.’ No way, he could not be the one to tell Y/N and T-Dog, not them.

Carol was the one to have the balls, in the end. “But are the bodies still in there?” she softly wondered.

“Bodies? No, I-I thought that one was left alone.” Y/N’s eyes turned watery in the firelight. Daryl didn’t like seeing it. “There weren’t even no graffiti or broken glass outside it, n-no soot, or…”

“The people inside had turned,” Carol explained further, still quiet as a mouse.

It was then that Shane strolled over with two spoonfuls of — ew, nasty — peanut butter. “It’s no problem, y’all, they’re out.” He handed one of the spoons to his sister, who took it and checked what he meant.

“Out?”

“Taken out and buried. Scout’s honor. Night y’all.”

Y/N got up and followed him, then hugged him from behind once she was close enough. Her brother turned, kissed the top of her head, and waved off her thanks.

She has a thing about burying the dead, even the turned ones. Counts the one’s she’s put down, too. He pulled his eyes away from her and rubbed the spot on his chest that started to tug.

The details of heading to the chapel were quickly decided by T-Dog, and all the while Y/N stared at nothing in particular with a sleepy, almost dopey sort of smile on her face. She was so caught up that she even forgot to start on her spoonful of peanut butter.

The next morning, Daryl damn near fell asleep on the car ride there. Lori, the boy, Carol, Glenn and him used the fancy new SUV, and they had him ride shotgun on account of his injuries. And yeah, he was nodding off like a milk drunk baby. It was a smooth ride, what can he say?

Jimmy drove the old blue Ford, his ma in the middle, Y/N on the end. Shane and T-Dog rode in the pickup. Riding in the pickup would be more his style, but he couldn’t do none of that yet. They didn’t came across no geeks, neither. Ain’t many around here.

Once the two cars got there and they headed in, the prayer stuff wasn’t annoying or forced or any of that. The place was quiet and clean. There was a lot of crying going on.

Y/N mainly kept her nose in two special prayer books she’d had with her since packing up for Atlanta, and was showing Glenn some stuff in it. After a bit, he noticed that she went to sit by herself, then sought out her big brother and sidled next to him, who kept his head down far in the back. Glenn poked around Y/N’s prayer books more and walked around looking at stuff. He seemed to not know what to do, but then again, neither did Daryl, really.

T-Dog and Patricia didn’t have that problem. They sung together some, prayed together some, and read together with Jimmy. Lori and Carl stayed with Carol, who knelt quietly with a string of prayer beads in front of the candles. And, yes, Daryl made sure to light one.

Two, actually. One was saying thanks he didn’t die, the other was for Sophia. Just in case his reassessment of the situation was wrong and there actually is Someone, right? Ain’t like he hasn’t been wrong before. It was a proper attitude for a Sunday, yeah?

Maybe this was less proper, but Daryl did end up falling asleep in there, right in the church bench he’d tucked himself in.

The ride home involved some switching up of the seating arrangement. Carl asked to ride in the old truck, so his ma road with him. Y/N and Shane swapped to the SUV. Shane drove, Y/N slipped into the backseat with Carol and Glenn. They had Daryl ride shottie again (guess it was some sort of general consensus).

And wouldn’t you know, he fell clear asleep on the car ride back home, too. One minute, he was drowsy and wincing when they went over bumps, and the next, they were at the farm and a car door in the back opened and closed. He woke to his head resting against the window, but on something soft yet coarse, that smelled familiar. It made him want to snuggle his head into it and doze more. It was comforting. A nice kind of shiver went through him.

But, the sound of more car doors meant he had to buck up and open his eyes. He attempted stretching. The makeshift pillow slipped down his side. It took him a sec, but he recognized it after a few blinks.

It was Y/N’s new sweater.

“Highway, Carol?” he next heard her murmur in the back. Daryl just so happened to turn his head enough to see Shane, still in the driver’s seat, lift his chin at what his little sister said. Something about it looked like he thought it was a waste of time. Asshole.

The asshole looked over at him. “You in for the ride? It’ll give you more time to nap.”

That best have been a joke.

Y/N made the quietest little huff at her brother, who dropped the smirk. “If anyone here besides Carol deserves to be there if she’s found, it’s you.” Was he saying that just to appease his kid sister, or? “Just know,” he drawled and gestured to Carol, “the lady gets shotgun if she wants it.”

You know what? In truth, Daryl didn’t mind the ball busting — everyone’s been treating him like a teeny baby. Shane here was treating him more or less like he normal. He let himself smirk back and answered, “I think I’ll nap a little longer.”

Shane seemed to appreciate the joke in return. “Sounds good, man. If the women are all set in back?” he asked with his eye on the rearview mirror.

“I think it’s better if Daryl stays in front, the seat can recline and he needs his rest,” Carol felt the need to say.

…and Daryl would’ve curled his body up like a roly poly from the embarrassment, if his collarbone and ribs would’ve let him.

“Anythin’ you say, my lady.” Shane must’ve heard the groan Daryl tried holding back, because he was that close to cracking up when he announced, “Alright people, let’s roll.” Either that or because Y/N made fun in some kind of yankee accent, “Ooo, ‘my lady.' Such a smooth tawkah.”

Once they were there, Daryl hauled his ass out of the car and pushed himself to walk quickly to the spot, hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping. Carol and Y/N jogged ahead. They slowed. Stopped.

There was no Sophia. Again. No nothing. Nothing written in the car chalk they’d left. No food or drink taken.

Well, about that; starting with the box of cheese crackers, it looked like squirrels or raccoons had themselves a meal. A couple of the boxes had holes nibbled through them, and there were some knocked over containers. He felt some sort of betrayal inside himself. He’d lit a damn candle. He’d hoped that…fuck it, Sunday’s just another day.

Carol didn’t say nothing as she bent down to start picking stuff up. Y/N knelt down with her and helped. Shane looked down at where a few water bottles had fallen, made as if to pick them up, but left them. He climbed onto the nearest van to keep a lookout instead.

Daryl couldn’t do much but shuffle around. He ended up wiping the crumbs off the hood of the car where’d they’d set up the food. Made it look clean for Sophia. The food that was still fine was put back. The ripped-open packages were put in the trunk by Y/N, who said she’d burn the boxes. That girl, still unwilling to litter in a world gone to shit.

It felt worse than falling down that ridge when Carol kept her eyes to the ground as she quietly thanked Shane for driving, then silently went into the backseat again. Y/N’s lip was wobbling when she climbed back in with her. Something about how rodents had gotten to the food instead of a person. It would’ve sucked less if the food was taken.

Daryl was about to join them in the SUV, but he had him an idea. Maybe it was stupid, but this was about Sophia, not him. He stumbled over to the car they’d left the food on, grabbed the car chalk, and shook it up. Once the white goop started coming out, he wrote on the side windows.

BEEN 2 WEEKS WE WON’T STOP

COMING BACK FOR YOU SOPHIA

Good, there was enough room on the bottom for the most important part.

YOUR MA LOVES YOU

------------------------------------

You

------------------------------------

What that man wrote on those windows…

It was really good to see. A blessing. The proper — no — a perfect reminder for a Sunday.

You felt a lot of things, your belly fluttering and chest tugging being two of the sensations. Another was sadness. Pity, too.

You didn’t believe Sophia was alive anymore. Carol didn’t, either. Not anymore.

And for Carol, you couldn’t even stubbornly imagine that the poor girl was still living. Your only hope that when they found her body, that it would be apparent her death was quick, or at least that it happened not long after losing her. God forgive you for reaching that point, but it was reasonable. It was a reasonable hope, right? There’s only so much that one can hold onto without setting oneself up to break.

Yet seeing Daryl just now, finally being able to make it for not even a search, but for a single car ride, two weeks after that sweet child went missing. To see him still hold out some belief that that girl was surviving out there, on her own.

Maybe you could muster one last surge of hope, for his sake? You’ve been wrong about things, like, countless times. So, maybe you were wrong about this. You wanted to be wrong about it. Sophia, the smart girl she was is, could be lying low somewhere secure. Yeah, might could be!

She smiled to herself, believing it with assurance as Shane started the Hyundai up. So, Sophia hadn’t found the food on the highway, big whoop. Maybe tomorrow!

And yet, the very next moment, the inner, private prayer you’d been repeating for days on end starting up again without you thinking twice.

Please let it have been quick. Carol needs the comfort of knowing it was quick. Eternal rest grant unto her, oh Lord…

For not even one minute had you been able to do it.

------------------------------------

Him

------------------------------------

Too loud, his friend blurted out, “Shaney, we doin’ target practice today?”

Shane looked at her in the rearview mirror. “You wanna?”

“Yes. Beth needs so much more work and I didn’t go help yesterday, so that there’s a day lost.”

Making like it’s all on her again, huh? Her brother seemed to notice it, too. “It’s all good,” he told her.

“Won’t be ‘all good’ when it comes down to it and she forgets to switch the safety off.” She made one of those nervous laughs. “Carol, how about you come, too?”

“Y/N,” Shane suggested. “Cool down.”

Daryl heard the inhale Y/N made, but Shane went on before she could spout anything back. “How about you go over draw and safety drills with the girl right at the farm instead? No need to drive out to that field to shoot today.”

“B-But Mr. Greene don’t want us handling firearms on his property.”

Shane’s hand gripped the steering wheel really tight. Ha, and he licked his teeth the way Y/N does when she’s fixing to get mad. “Hershel’s gotta pick his battles.”

“Hey. It’s his land, skills, and supplies that saved Carl’s—”

“—Stop!” cried out from the back so suddenly that everyone immediately went dumb.

It was the biggest noise Daryl had ever heard Carol make. Probably the loudest any of them had heard the woman. The Walshes hadn’t even been going at it that hard, they was barely arguing. Still, must’ve been too much for Carol right then. Who could blame her?

“I’m sorry. Please, I just need some quiet,” Carol told them, softer.

The siblings apologized and shut up. He heard Y/N throw in an “I love you.” Whether it was to Shane or Carol, he wasn’t sure.

The seat began to feel very comfortable. He began nodding off again. Here and there he reckons he fell asleep, but was doing his best to not. When he could make out that the women in back were whispering to each other, it gave him something to focus on to help him stay awake. “Music?” he heard Y/N offer.

“I didn’t realize you brought it.” Carol’s voice still sounded small as a mouse’s. “That would help, I think.”

Y/N made a small groan in the middle of Carol’s sentence. “I just remembered I left it with Jimmy. I have only the headphones, the, the truck’s got a cassette player, so I-I left it plugged in with the converter. He, um — oh, Daryl, we woke you?” She couldn’t have sounded more guilty if she tried.

“Nah, you’re good,” he grunted, sitting up taller—owww! He moved his chest wrong when he sat up and his collarbone was not happy about it.

The car fell quiet again for a few moments.

“Jimmy was real upset about his dad this morning, so I figured the mp3 would be a treat, or…” she finished explaining to Carol, then trailed off.

“Who needs that when we got the radio?” Shane announced, and way too strong. Like, way too strong. And why the hell was he white knuckling the steering wheel? The car wasn’t even pushing 30mph.

And, yeah, did he just say ‘radio?’

“Does 88.9 come in down here?” Y/N piped in from the back, suddenly as peppy as a cheerleader. “They changed it to a white noise station, but it’s super relaxin’.”

Shane pushed radio on and got nothing but static as he scrolled through ’til hitting 88.9. The static had some high-pitched whistles to it. “Wanna leave it on this one?”

“Eh, it’s a mite whistle-ly.”

“Yeah, lemme try 105 instead…”

What the hell is this?

More button pushing on Shane’s part.

Daryl heard giggling going on in the backseat. Even he was starting to grin despite himself.

“Hold up, we’re down near Columbus. Y’all, we need 1420 AM,” and the guy legit clicked through the static until the radio was legit at 1420 AM.

“Aw, yes,” his little sister cheered. “I love this one!”

“And it’s at the best part of the track!”

“Hot damn, y’all are weird,” Daryl couldn’t keep himself from snorting. “Carol, I think we should walk.” He glanced in the side-view mirror and saw that she was smiling big. Good to see.

“Listen, listen, this is it,” Y/N insisted to the both of them, then closed her eyes and held her hand up like she wanted them to wait. Then, she made the shhhh static noise. Her brother copied her.

And then, Daryl lost it.

------------------------------------

You

------------------------------------

Shane has been getting so like his old self — no, better!

Bringing up their silly white-noise radio inside joke, for one. It actually had Daryl wheezing (possibly partially due to his injured ribs and collarbone, ouch, it must’ve hurt him so bad!).

Even more to the point, your joy and pride in your big brother was as high as it ever had been last night, when you learned that he’d gone to the chapel to bury the bodies. Not to burn, to bury. An important distinction. And one that he knows you care about.

Rick, when telling you this in private last night, had surmised that it was part of him trying to atone for…well, for more than Rick knows about. But it doesn’t matter why Shane was ‘atoning’, what matters is that he’s trying to! What a nearly perfect Sunday, right?

So, once you’d gotten back to the farm after yet another painful trip to the highway spot, you were confident and trusting enough to bring up Fort Benning with him. That you thought the two of you should start preparing to go, just you two.

You weren’t quite sure what his reaction might be. After all, he was very aware that you had lots of doubts about a military fort (read: martial law), but there was no other viable option that you could see to deal with the situation. And, well, Shane had been planning to go without you and without your knowing about it ahead of time. Then, his plans changed. It was after Carl got shot that his plans changed.

But with the secret of the new baby, and now the barn, you’d decided there was no alternative than to remove Shane from the equation for a little while. It was safer better for everyone involved if the two of you...what’s a good word for it?

‘Scouted out,’ that’s a good way to describe it.

It would be better for everybody involved if the two of you scouted out Fort Benning, so you’d know if it was trustworthy and safe for the rest of the group. That’s how you chose to phrase it to him, when you walked with Shane to the stables under the guise of seeing Nelly.

“Really, your idea that it’s secure isn’t stupid. If you want to scout it out, I want to go with you,” she told him. You’d worded that sentence carefully so as to not lie, then quickly blabbed away as if it didn’t make your insides scream to consider leaving. “And I figured I’d, um, at the pharmacy run tomorrow, I’d try pickin’ up extras of what we might need if we go out on our own.” You made clicky noises at Nelly, who turned her head toward you but did not move from her spot in the stall. “Aw, don’t act all shy just because a new man is here.” You told yourself it was because she couldn’t be scritched with the protective wire mesh on the stall windows. The mesh must’ve been an outbreak renovation.

Shane’s reaction to your idea was somewhere in the realm of cautious, maybe? Surprised? “Y/N, what brought this up? You was hard pressed to go to Atlanta, never mind Fort Benning.”

You’d prepared for such a question. And again, your answer wasn’t really a lie: “They don’t need us to keep up the search for Sophia, they got plenty.”

He made a face when you mentioned the search. You acknowledged it. “Even though it’ll likely be her corpse, it would still mean she could be mourned properly.” Then, with a wave toward the outside, you continued, “This place is good as gold. Remote but not too much.Secure. Got plenty of food, lots of shelter. There don’t seem to be walkers that happen across the property, neither.” Which wasn’t a lie! None have wandered across the property….they were, as it so happened, housed there purposefully.

Shane crossed his arms.

You didn’t mirror it in challenge like you might tend to, and not only because remembering the barn jumpstarted that breathless feeling of panic. You wanted to be level-headed about this, no arguing. So, you went on to admit, “But, might could not be long-term here.” The words you’d planned to summarize your thesis then, unfortunately, escaped you, so, you bought time by shrugging and moving your hands around. The closing statement ended up being: “W-We should give Fort Benning a look.”

He stared into space, the wheels turning. His head was nodding slightly. “Okay.”

“Alrighty! L-Let’s plan to, to, to,” you stammered, “in a, in, um, a week or so? Two weeks?” The decision being set was more terrifying than you’d anticipated. Your pulse got faster, too, so you took a deep breathe to make up for it.

“Yeah, um, yeah. A week or so,” he agreed in a flat, dull tone, then looked down. He tried to smile when he looked up at you, but it was forced as if he felt guilty. “You sound so scared, kid.”

“It’s scary.”

“It is.” He sighed. The guilty look he had then changed to something different. Brighter. “Whoever’s out there should be real scared, we’re that good a team.”

If you thought you were proud of him before, well shoot.

Shane is back, completely.

What a complete shift, a full 180, from your bearing on the situation from yesterday versus today.

All of these months of seeing him change for the worse, frighten you, shift into a man you didn’t recognize. After it finally culminated in you having a panic attack yesterday. The stranger wasn’t there anymore. It was just your brother. Shane.

You smiled, and thought to yourself how you were actually happy to sacrifice in this way for him. This is how you could protect him, by leaving with him for a little while. His idea to seek out Fort Benning was logical, and if it so happened to keep the peace here, what fault was there in safeguarding Lori’s secret for a little while longer?

Even if setting out on your own was a risk, you two were a good team. And now, with proper firepower from the station back in King County. You feel almost ashamed for how worried and scared you’d been of him.

“I guess it’s gotta be done,” Shane appeared to think out loud. “And Andrea may want to come, she'd wanted to before." This you hadn't known, either. Your brother rubbed his buzz cut back and forth, back and forth. "We all know Rick wants to stay put, but, maybe, after a little convincing, if we prove it’s far safer there.” He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows.

“Mmm, I don’t know which of you is more bullheaded, you or him.” As if; Shane is obviously the more bullheaded of the two. Rick knows how to be a dang good diplomat.

“Easy. It’s you," Shane teases back without missing a beat.

You walked right into that one, didn’t you? Well, naturally you had to feign offense and pretend to huff, “Shut up, loser.”

“Yeah make me, weirdo.” He mussed up your hair (ahghfghghgh!) and started toward the doors. “What’s say you do them drills with the girl now? You can use an empty pistol for it. Hershel can’t have a problem with an empty one.”

“I’ll ask his permission.”

You also walked into this one: “Goody-two shoes.”

“Dumb jock.”

Shane really was back!

It really was a near-perfect Sunday.

------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------

-> Masterlist link here <-

and our tiny taglist :D

@spenciepoo338 ; @oceanticspace​​​​ ; @whistlesalot ; @buffy-the-assbutt-slayer ;  @dreamingaboutthewonderland ; @kwazii-kat ; @darylsmavis ; @outlanderhornet22 ; @battinsonrobs ; @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable ; @writingmybeloved ; @boomergirl123 ; @iheartathena0 ; @moonliight-luv ; @suniloli ; @supernaturalgirl02 ; @cnake-garden ; @daryldixmedown ; @sophehe ; @crashlyrose ; @virgo-sunflower920 ; @jennythe ; @theficbaker ; @vampireautism ; @rosetta196 ; @wifeof-barnes ; @thegemthatreads ; @redjaylee ; @thegirlwiththepurpleshelves

(inbox is open if you would like on or off the taglist, slowpokes! Please don’t feel bad or nervous if you don’t want to be tagged anymore, just let me know in the inbox. We’re all friends here and your comfort level matters)  

[eepywriters]

.✦°. • Birthday boy ( ´∀｀)

warnings: none, just pure fluff and simp Quackity

a/n: HI GUYS, I had to speedrun this so if it feels rushed I’m so sorry 😿 but I put heart into it so I hope y’all enjoy!!

Ah the bed, what a glorious invention. It’s comfy, fluffy, warm and, most importantly, it’s where, usually, one of the best activities it’s conducted: sleeping.

Now, Alex loves working, he does! It’s written all over his projects. The passion that drives every piece of work he makes couldn’t be as strong as it is without determination and etiquette. After all, he is indeed THE Alex Quackity, creator of the first multilingual server with live translations.

But sometimes, just sometimes, he doesn’t mind sleeping the day away. His pounding head and aching eyes beg for rest on the daily, so it’s nice to actually give his body and his mind a moment to shut down once in a while.

A touch on his naked arm made him stir in his sleep. He groans. He wasn’t ready to let go of his sweet slumber just yet.

“Alex, baby, wake up, I’ve got something for you”.

An half-conscious grumble leaves him, which was more of acknowledgement of hearing your voice speak to him rather than an answer to whatever you were babbling about. Cause listen, as sleep deprived as he could be, nothing could separate him from his bed when he was actually set on resting.

“Baby c’mon, we can nap later”.

The soft feeling of pillowy lips pressing against his temple finally rouses him from his sleep. He sighs, a throaty, sleepy sigh, while stretching his back lightly.

“There you are baby”

The gears on Alex’s head are slowly turning as his systems finally makes sense of the world surrounding him. And while most of his mind is concentrated on your delicate hand stroking oh so lovingly his cheek, he can’t help but notice the delicious smell that was floating around the air.

He opens his eyes, now wanting to find out what exactly was making his taste buds tingle in curiosity.

Oh what a grave mistake that was.

A streak of sunlight pierces his eyes instantly, making him close them back on instinct with a weak cry.

“Noo turn off the lights” he drawls sleepily, shielding his poor, aching eyes with his arms. His mouth was still pasty from his sleep and he, quite frankly, didn’t understand what was the deal about waking him up so soon.

And then you laugh, and on a normal occasion he would’ve bite back, cause you were obviously laughing at his idiotic behavior, but he was sooo sleepy and your laugh sounded sooo pretty. (When did he go to sleep again? 2 Am?).

Slowly blinking the sleep out of his system, Alex was met with a rather endearing sight: there you stood, a cute, big grin brightening your face whilst you looked down at him with an amused gaze. He could tell you where sleepy yourself, if not by your tired eyes, by the dark circle that were adorning your features. After all, what did anyone expect from the partner of Quackity? Two sleep deprived people are better than one. (He’s not gonna delve into what seeing you standing there with only an old t-shirt of his was doing to his body).

“Good morning birthday boy”.

Oh, now he knows why you rudely (not really) woke him up.

“Hey” he mutters, scratching his crusty, tired eyes, hoping that the sleepy haze that was still clouding his mind will go away.

“Damn that’s all I get? Not even a pet name? We live in a society…” you frowned.

“Shut up” he snorts, looking back at you, just for his eyes to stop at a little red box you were holding. It is very pretty: a big yellow ribbon was tying together the bright red walls of the box, and hey, was that a duck painted on the side of it?

Before his fogged brain can even come up with a question, you are already in action.

“Stand still, your only job is to look pretty now”

He quirks a brow. He’s not sure of what you have going on today, but he’s in for it, especially since he can still smell the sweetness of the treat you’re hiding inside that box.

He sits up and his head lolls backwards onto the cupboard, giving him the perfect angle to watch you fiddling around.

“It’s rude to stare you know?”

“Mhh is it? Even when there’s something so beautiful to look at?” he replies, jokingly wiggling his eyebrows up and down at you.

“You’re such a flatter” you sigh, yet he can see you hiding your smile in your arm.

You soon bring out a tray to him, which had a plate, a fork, an empty glass and a cute, pink piece of paper on top of it. You had obviously written on the paper - he could recognize your handwriting instantly in any context given - and really, it wasn’t even debatable since the paper read “Happy bday amor <3”.

He brought the paper up to his lips, leaving a soft peck on it before putting it on his nightstand. Was he dramatic with it? Yes, but he swears that when it comes to you he just can’t help himself but cherish everything you give him.

“Here you go, I hope you like it”.

You finally open the little box, reveling an adorable, tiny chocolate cake. It was simple: it was round, not more than 10 centimeters wide, and it feature a raspberry and two blueberries on top.

He licks his lips and dives into it immediately, not waiting for approval nor giving it any second thought. He chews on the cake with a satisfied hum, letting the sweet, but strong taste of chocolate invade his mouth. Again, it was really simple, but the fact that it came from you made it ten times more tasteful.

“Where did you buy this? It’s great” he says, searching for the label of the bakery on the tiny box you handed to him. Maybe later he could’ve bought some sweets for his guests there. He strangely couldn’t find it.

“Actually… I made it”.

Saying his mouth was agape would be an understatement, his jaw was on the floor.

“WHAT” he screams with his mouth still full. He did have the decency to swallow before screaming out again: “THERE’S NO WAY”.

He swears he could’ve died right there. Your shy smile and the light blush that paints your cheek enough to send his brain into override.

“Yeah, woke up early to make it today. I’m surprised you didn’t wake up sooner, I made quite the mess” you cackle to yourself, probably remembering all the ruckus you made whilst scratching your neck in embarrassment.

“Im surprised you liked it that much honestly” you trail off, insecurity dripping from your hushed tone.

Was it really though? Alex would eat anything you gave him if it followed a “I made it for you”. Yes, he was that whipped, and he isn’t ashamed of it. It always has been you, trough life and death, he knew from the moment he uttered the first “I love you” that you were his ride or die.

“You did amazing (Name)” he smiles, craning his neck just enough for you to share a sweet, short kiss.

“I can tell you worked hard for it, I’m proud of you” he whispers at mere centimeters from your face, like it’s something just for you to hear and hold dear onto. He leaves a peck on the corner of your mouth before sitting back again.

“I’m very glad you liked it” you say softly, giving him one of those genuine smiles he’d die for “BUT we got much more to do! It’s time to open your gifts!”.

You clap your hands excitedly, already scurrying off to put the tray away.

“What if I want to unwrap another type of gift” he taunts, moving his arms behind his head while wearing a sly grin. He kinda felt bad about making you do all the work, but he figures that maybe, just this once, he can let himself be babied a little.

You shake your head, looking at him with faux disappointment. Your hands found your hips as you scold him: “Cmon you horny bastard, we are going”.

“You called me a WHAT” he says in his typical high pitched voice, following after you. He catches up to you in an instant and wraps his arms around your frame, keeping you still.

“Say that again, i dare you” he threatens light heartedly.

“Nu uh”.

“Okay, you asked for it” he whispers in your ear, impossibly close.

The world went quiet. Your eyes widened.

You knew what was coming.

“No wait, we can talk ab-“

You weren’t fast enough to stop him. You signed your fate.

His hands move swiftly all around your body, wiggling his fingers on those he knew to be your weak spots. He laughs at you, laughs at your misery. Your body twitches uncontrollably and your lungs beg for air.

“S-STop FUGAHAH, oh my GOd- HAHAhH ALEX” you cry out, trashing around in his hold while he brought hell on earth on your poor body. He continues to laugh at your weak attempt to wiggle out of his grip, determined to make you regret calling him names.

“Nu uh”

Needless to say, you where among the few guests on Alex’s birthday stream, and you were also the one who had clean all of it up. Nonetheless, the afternoon was filled with laughter, a bit of alcohol, and carefree dances.

　　*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

extra:

Well cleaning up that mess was sure a challenge. You had to do 3 Tiktok browsing pauses before actually getting it done (to be honest, you did spend more time on your phone than cleaning, but you’re sure nobody will snitch on you).

Right as you put down the broom, you spot Alex coming towards you, the shit eating grin he was wearing giving away his intentions.

“Can I get my final gift now?” he speaks, using a gravelly tone that catches you off guard. It was hard to take him seriously when he still had some confettis stuck to his clothes, even though you’d be lying if you said you minded the offer.

“You moron” you laugh, instinctively wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Is that a yes?” He whispers, leaving a soft peck on the crook of your neck.

“Fuck yes”.

[jeardesus7]

could you please bless us fellow dabi degenerates with your illigal dabi thoughts 🙏 🙏🙏🙏

I’m gonna have to water this one down because the entire scenario might actually get me in legal trouble 😭 This one involves Shigaraki, so I hope y’all are fine with that. I have other  i l l e g a l  thoughts, this isn’t the only one. But this is the one I thought of first.

But yes, I will. I’m going to make this a series - meaning I’m just going to do this in parts.

Training Part 1

CW: Innocent reader, female reader, dub-con, threesome, stepcest (kind of?) fingering, goading, sweet-talking

—--------------------------------------------------------

Summary: Dabi found you when he recently ran away from home and faked his death, you both were young. You had no idea where your parents were or how you ended up where you were, and Dabi sympathized with you. You were younger than him, and reminded him of his own sister, so he took you in as one. Fast forward to now, you both live together, you weren’t taught about sex because Dabi thought you would just figure it out yourself. You didn’t. 

I’ll stop yapping. Enjoy.

We all know that Dabi is most likely a drug dealer. You didn't. There was a pound on the door, and you were the one closest to the door. The pounding startled you, making you rise to your feet. 

You looked through the peephole before standing back. It was that crusty white haired man, Shigaraki? You wondered. You knew his face because Dabi brought him around often, but you and him never directly spoke. 

You opened the door, a welcoming smile on your face as you greeted him. “Hello! Why are you here today?” Shigaraki looked down at you, a grin forming on his face as his eyes didn’t even meet yours, just traveling down your body. You noticed his eyes wandering up and down your body, but you didn’t think much about it.

“I’m uh.. Here for Dabi. Say, you got a nice pair of-” Shigaraki was cut off when you shouted down the hall for dabi, Shigaraki leaned against the door frame as Dabi strolled down the hall, his unreadable expression giving you chills. 

Shigaraki smirked at Dabi, then at you, then back at Dabi. Dabi glared at both of you, but walked forward. He let Tomura inside, putting him in the lounge room before turning to you, his voice rough and quiet like usual.

“I told you not to answer the door when I’m not near you.” He stared down at you, his stare piercing, almost making your lip quiver with regret. He’s always had that thing about him, that he could just give you a stare and you would crumble.

“I know, I’m sor-”

“Don’t open that goddamn door again, especially not to him. Do you want your ass beat?” His words were harsh and bitter, turning away before you could answer with your shaky voice. You returned to your room, eyes tear-filled as you slumped onto your bed.

In the lounge room, Dabi and Shigaraki talked, drank, shared nasty stories about how many girls Dabi has *wink wink* working for him. While drunk, Shigaraki brings up his desires for you, even daring to palm himself right in front of Dabi. Dabi was intoxicated as well, a lustful smirk on his face as he listened and watched shigaraki touch himself.

Meanwhile, you were getting ready for bed, brushing your teeth, putting your pajamas on, maybe doing some light reading. You got cozy in bed, closing your eyes until you heard Dabi and Shigaraki laugh loudly, the smell of weed and other substances stinking up the whole house.

You sighed, getting out of bed. You shuffled down the stairs, speed-walking into the lounge where the both of them are. You pouted, putting your hands on your hips as you glared at Dabi. “Can you be quiet? I am trying to sleep!”

Dabi just rolled his eyes and Shigaraki chuckled under his breath. Dabi and Shigaraki looked at each other, both grinning as they stood up. Dabi picked you up, wrapping your legs around him and maneuvering you to his room. He got onto the bed. Holding you from behind, his back against the headboard as you sat comfortably between his legs.

He sucked in through his teeth as his hands wandered all over your body, groping your chest as Shigaraki creeped onto the bed after you. You looked up at Dabi, fear in your eyes. This was all happening so fast. Why was it happening? Dabi never acted this way, why is he acting this way now?

He smirks down at you, his breath reeking of alcohol. “Just relax, we're not gonna hurt ya.”

You took a deep breath, deciding to put your trust into him and his friend. He slowly pried your legs open, Shigaraki working quickly to pull down your shorts.

Shigaraki tossed your shorts and panties to the side, his sinful gaze falling onto your innocent little passage. He curiously extends a finger, poking at your folds. Dabi reaches down, spreading them as Shigaraki gently strokes your clit before abruptly pushing a finger inside, grinning as he watches you squirm and hear you whimper.

What is this? What is this feeling? It feels good, but it feels too good. Dabi watches as Tomura fingers you, his eyes lighting up as he whispers into your ear, his hot breath against the lobe. “Oh, are you a virgin? How cute.”

Shigaraki pushed a second finger inside of you, pumping them in and out of you quicker. He laughed at your pathetic little moans and mewls, his free hand lifting your chest. He cupped the curve of it, his thumb flicking against the nipple before leaning down, capturing it between his teeth. You writhed against him, almost like you're trying to squirm out, but Dabi held you tightly against him.

Dabi growled and grinded against your plump ass, his teeth finding your neck and playfully biting. He grunts as he grabs your hips, rolling your behind against his desperate bulge, groaning lowly in his throat.

You squirmed and wiggled against both of them, crying out when the pleasure became too intense. One of Dabi’s hands moves from your hip to your clit, stroking it vigorously. He growled as he felt himself getting closer to release, Shigaraki’s fingers curling and plunging against your cervix. 

While Shigaraki held you down by your chest and Dabi by your hips, you were trapped underneath them, their breath reeking of alcohol and weed, making you feel so good, so much so it feels horrid. Your entrance clenches around Tomura’s fingers, indicating you were reaching orgasm.

Shigaraki grinned as well as Dabi. Your ass cheeks clenched against his clothed bulge, his eyes rolling back as he cums in his pants, grunting quietly. When you were reaching orgasm, they both reacted quickly, spreading your legs wider, Dabi heating up his hand on your clit.

Tomura’s eyes lit up like he was a kid in a candy store when you gushed all over his fingers, your eyes rolled back as you experienced your first orgasm. You breathed heavily, whimpering loudly as Shigaraki pulled his fingers out of you, licking his fingers before leaning forward, kissing your neck.

Dabi chuckled softly, nibbling on your ear softly as he put his fingers into your mouth, making you taste yourself. He licked your ear before whispering into it, Shigaraki swapping spots with him.

“Suppose a nice licking wouldn’t hurt, would it? Part those pretty pussy lips for me, baby.”

[cakenpiewhyohmy]

I find it real funny how some people are shamming and hating on Halsin for being “old” lmao. Like Elves live on average 750+ years. He’s only 350.

He’s 350. 750-350= 400. HE’S NOT EVEN HALFWAY YET!

Like in human years (we live roughly to 80) he’s probably about late thirties/early forties ish. My guy still has another 400+ YEARS left. That’s 4 Centuries. And if we go with my Halsin being the chosen of Silvanus, he’s gonna live way longer.

Burning digress. The issue isn’t how old he is. The issue is how some of y’all are acting about it.

Calling him ugly, crusty, dusty and making fun of how he still “wants sex at his age” like??

I get it if hes not attractive to you especially (if it’s as I suspect most of these people are) if you are way younger. Like teens and early twenties. I get it if you’re not attracted to a man that could be your father. That doesn’t validate you to go insulting him for no reason other than you don’t find him attractive or to make hate posts about him purely because of that and his age.

Grow the fuck up. Especially when some of y’all hiding behind keyboards probably look like one of the ogres in the game :/. And even if you don’t , the ugly shit you say takes away any good physical qualities you may have.

If you’re not attracted to him move on and go fawn over the other characters (which I’ll remind you everyone there is at least in their late twenties to early thirties equivalent.) .

Anyways if you respond to this post with hate thank you for saving me the time of coming across your shitty posts and just blocking you now instead of later :).

[thefourthwifeoftengenuzui]

Hiiii bonten Rindou hc???? Pleaseee. Love him frr

To be honest, I intended for this to be almost exclusively for haikyuu… BUT FOR YOU MY FRIEND! *pounds chest* I SHALL GIVE YOU THE RINNY OF YOUR DREAMS. Also you didn’t specify what kind you want so ima give you my finest shit, which happens to be my head cannon prowess. (Totally not because I hate writing dialogue, no,no, that’s so stupid 😳) Also important side note: I aint spend days finishing the Tok rev manga not to use it tf outta here. Tokrev and Jjk content is welcomed proudly.

idk if I’ll make a part 2, but on the off chance I do, look foreword to girldad Rinny content.

status: unedited

warnings: cursing, slightly sexual situations (but no smut), mafia bs, blood? Fluffy bullshit, Rindou being a dick hole, the ick, my bad Spanish

💜Bonten Rindou Hataini. Headcannons~💜

The first thing off the bat, I definitely think he is on the demisexual spectrum. I know everyone else be saying that he would be all about just sleeping around like that, but to be honest, I think that that’s more of a Ran thing. I feel like the only reason he would go to strip clubs and shit like that for work, and would actually be really grossed out when people would coddle him. If he was to have a significant other, it would have to be someone he has known for a long time, or from his old delinquent days. My best idea would be a calm friend who would give him the notes from his skipped classes. And in return he’d take them out for food or some shit. Somewhere along the way y’all would just be like, “we’re totally together right?” “Duh, why else would I put up with you.” Yeah he a lil bitch.

Any way, as for him as an adult, all I gotta say is “Mmmm Papí ¿quieres una besito?~”. Like Jesus Christ man has no right being this freaking fine. Sexy Jellyfish ass boy

Yakuza Daddy🥵. This man will spoil the everlasting shit outta you, and go to Walmart for his own shit. But had does it in the most obnoxious way possible. He gets you a necklace? “Hey babe, gotchu this, your old one was musty af, take better care of your shit.” Awww you want a new dress? “Sure babe, but just know that thing barely covers shit, and will be gone by the end of the night.” You want something just random? “Wtf am I a walking ATM? No, pick it tf up, I’m buying it, you can’t stop me. Quit arguing before I buy you 3 more.”

But when it comes to himself? Yeah he only indulges in suits and Jordan’s. Other than that, he has an avengers shirt he had since he was 12 and a pinball machine. That’s the extent of his possessions. Well that and the watch you got him for his birthday, but shhhhh he can’t let you know he cares ewwwww.

Man is literally the biggest (for lack of better word) Tsundere. Like Top three in anime. Like you got 1.Kageyama 2.Sasuke 3. Him. Like manz would rather die than say he cares. His love language is quality time and gift giving, so he’s more show you he loves you, but won’t say it first. The kinda mf that when you say I love you to them say, “Yeah I know, I love me too if only there was someone out there who loved you.” Like manz is so obvious I wanna kiss him to shut him the fuck up. (I think I have a type.) like bro the me love you tf?

In terms of icks there is one thing I no for fact. This mf wears socks to bed. And not the cute fluffy kind. The musty ass crusty socks he wore all day, then stepped in water, and now you gotta deal with it while yall cuddling. I hate this mf.

On a more serious note, because of his Bonten Bs, he doesn’t have a lot of time for us. So we make time. His time. We just barge in during his meetings, lay across his lap, watch TikTok’s, while everyone (him) are just looking like “is this bitch serious!?” >:|

Anyways, because he’s so busy all the time, the majority of what he wants to do when he gets home is just to sprawl out on the couch and just stay there. You can cuddle with him too or whatever he doesn’t mind🙄. But fair warning, he’s the kinda dude who is only ever in the mood for either ww2 documentary’s or like deep sea documentary’s. Like mf has the same movie taste as my dad, I can’t with him. It’s a good day when you can convince him to try something actually entertaining. And you know what he picks? The Fucking exorcist. He’s an asshole. The kinda dude to pretend he’s unfazed, but his left leg physically won’t stop shaking.

speaking of movies, I know I say this every time, but scream Halloween costumes. Yes. Give me Rinny as ghostface please, I’ll freaking sell my soul. Especially if it’s not the robe but one of the like dry fit and leather harness- *incomprehensible pterodactyl noises* 🥵

anyway back to cuddling, his go to position is literally the Hakari and Kirara thing. Like this mf will always have a hand on your ass. He doesn’t like PDA but this? Yeah you can’t stop him. He is an ass guy, it’s just where his hand naturally gravitates.

I cannot explain the urge to play daddies home by usher every time I see him. Like he and my baby daddy Gojo have partial custody over that song. Like bro. Yes.

Tbh I don’t see him having a big wedding. Or any wedding. I think his thing would be just handing you his debit card and saying “pick some shit out. No, don’t worry bout the price I’m rich for a reason.” And after that yall just elope to some tropical place across the planet for like a month.

speaking of travel it’s a pretty common thing for you. Just that it’s always last minute. Like bro don’t even give you time to brag to the your friends. Man just pulls up 10 minutes before y’all need to go to the airport and says, “get ready, we’re going to France. How long? Idk a month? Boo hoo bitch. Stay home then. Mhm that’s wtf k thought”. Manz is such an ass but you gotta love a walking wallet.

My last thought I’m gonna share is how he physically won’t use nicnames. Like babe is the physically most he can bring himself to do. Maybe baby. He gives himself the ick every time he thinks of doing anything else

all in all, he’s the one who is always there for you, and expects the same. He’s a great guy, under all the stress and yakuza bs. Treat him well, or I’ll treat him better😤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ sorry this took me so long to write, I’m working on another request too, and more importantly, my final exams for collage, love that. But even do, if you liked this, please like and request something, and I will definitely be posting. Love y’all so much, I’ll see yall later.

[honoviadakai]

Rating the Hazbin crew based on how well they’ll take care of you when you’re sick 🤒

Charlie🎶🏨:

8/10

So letting Charlie know you’re sick might actually be a bigger health concern for her than it is for you

She’s gonna act like you’re dying

She legitimately might make Razzle and Dazzle plan for a funeral

You are now gonna be on house arrest

No

Scratch that

You’re on bed arrest!

No getting up under any circumstances! 😤

She’s wait on you hand and foot till you’re 1000% better

She’s gonna be overbearing but in her defense, she REALLY doesn’t want you to suffer/die so please just bare with her

She just wants you to recover asap ;3;

Vaggie🗡️🦋:

7/10

Ok so on one hand…her chicken soup is pretty good

On the other hand…she’s a very “tough love” kinda gal to anyone who isn’t named Charlie Morningstar

It dose not help that she’s canonically Latina…

All my fellow Latinos know, if you get sick…you get the vaporub

And that is probably something Vaggie still firmly believes in

“Just rub some raporub on your chest and nose and walk it off, you’ll be good in no time!”

Said every Latino parent in history….

She’s probably never had to take care of many sick people in her human life, let alone her afterlife in hell

Cut her a bit of slack and just use the vaporub, she’s trying damn it!

Alastor🦌📻:

-12/10

N O

WHY WOULD YOU EVER COME TO THIS MAN FOR MEDICAL HELP!?!

Do you have a death wish or something!?

Best case scenario, he’ll help you but your soul is gonna be on the line for a while!

Worst case scenario, he’s just gonna let you suffer

And I don’t mean that he’s just gonna leave you to sleep in your room

No no no, that too boring

He’s gonna make sure no one else in the hotel knows of your predicament and he’s gonna watch you struggle and laugh at your misery…

For the love of all that is good in the universe…don’t let him know you’re sick…ever.

Angel Dust🕷️💕:

6/10

Ok

Listen…he’s not the worst option….but you do have better options

The problem asking Angel to help you when you’re sick is that you’re sick…

You’re gross…he doesn’t want not on his fluff

But if y’all are very close…

Like besties or lovers? That changes the game

He’ll cuddle you, no questions asked

So it really depends on who you are to him how much effort he’s gonna put in

He’s also kinda forgetful

For example, if you ask him for a cup of tea, he’ll absolutely go brew a cup for you

But you better pray that nothing and no one distracts him!

Cuz otherwise just forget about having hot tea or tea in general…

He’s pretty shit at remembering to take medication at certain times too so I’d set multiple reminders

Even then…might not help much…

He is a pretty good cook though so rest assured, you will be very well fed during your recovery period

Husk🐈‍⬛🥃:

10/10

Will this crusty old man complain about having to help you? Yes.

Will he bitch and moan every time you ask him for another cup of tea? Absolutely.

Will he curse under his breath while holding your hair back as you puke your brains out for the 10th time in the past 24 hours? Without question.

But he’s still fucking helping you

He can say whatever the hell he wants, he’s waiting on you hand and foot till you’re better of his own volition

He’s out here making some of the best damn soup you’ve ever had he’s gonna make sure you finish every last spoonful god damn it!

If you gotta take medication on a schedule, best believe he’s setting multiple timers

You’re also taking all the naps you need, no arguments! 😤

If you ask, he will cuddle you, but he will make you swear on your mother’s grave that you won’t tell a soul he did that for you

He’d rather chop his arms off than admit this, but he is genuinely worried for you and just wants you to recover

You did not hear that from me though 🤐

Niffty🪡🐞:

5/10

Oh she makes some of the best soup! 🥣

Her home cooked meals are delicious

Honestly the best part of having Niffty taking care of you is just how well fed you’re gonna be 🥰

But this is Nifty we’re talking about…

So she’s gonna be….Nifty….

She’s gonna hover uncomfortably close to the bed while you rest…

Just…watching you…

She’s not even trying to be creepy or anything

She’s just making sure you’re ok

But like…she’s starting a little too intensely at you…not blinking even once…

She’s just waiting to see if you want tea or something tbh

She just forgot you’re supposed to blink

She’ll also just watch you sleep

Not sure why…she just does

If she’s feeling ✨spicy✨…she miiight give you some questionable medicine…

Like, medicine she found in Alastor’s room….

Please get an actual doctor 🙏

Sir Pentious🐍🥚:

2/10

No

Just…no

Get an actual doctor

Please!

He means well

He really does!

But this man died in the Victorian era!

Don’t let a man with medical knowledge form the Victorian era help you!

He will use leeches on you!

And that’s the best case scenario for you!

And for the love of all that is good in the world, do NOT let the egg boys help!

They all share a brain cell between them and I don’t think any of them is ever fully away of where it is at any given moment

They’re likely to take one look at you and think the best way to reduce your fever is to stick you in an ice bath…for hours….

Go to an actual doctor if you wanna keep your ability to breathe. Please.🙏

[fruitbasketball]

wnba recap 7/6

y’all know what today was

minnesota lynx vs. washington mystics

julie vanloo you have to be absolutely shitting me

25 minutes. 0-9. 0 points. but 4 personal fouls.

KILLIAN HAYES WHO BRO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK 😭😭😭😭 Y’ALL EMPLOY THIS WOMAN?? AND NOT CHRISTYN WILLIAMS?? NOT EVINA WESTBROOK??? FUCKKKKK OUTTA HERE

li don’t foul challenge 😭 but we got 10 on 4-6 so it’s chill!!!

minnesota you should NEVER have let them cut it this close. oof i’m worried ab phee. YESSS DORKA give us nothing but boards!!! oh diamond’s back. has she been back?

mid game overall. not too awful, not too good team efficiency wise either. minnesota out rebounded, at least significantly on the offensive end. had better defense, quicker offense (but just barely). meh. glad i missed it.

indiana fever vs. new york liberty

ok ik this is what we’re actually here for.

think some chick named caitlin clark did sum this game not sure.

okay that’s all! thank you!

nah i’m playing but caitlin clark with the first rookie triple double in wnba history. 19 points, 13 assists, 12 rebounds - i think she’s BACK Y’ALLLL

as much as y’all know how i… don’t necessarily vibe w cc, it’s good to see her getting her legs under her in the league and performing at the level i know she can. if she’s gonna win that roty award, i want her to deserve it. and the game today tied her w angel for roty in my head tbh.

BYE BYE CRUSTY WALLASS LMAO ‼️ man i hate her HOLY FUCK I HAAAAAATE HER

breanna stewart dude what the fuck. sab 22 on absolutely DOGSHIT efficiency maybe her and caitlin ARE twins. betnijah played well tho.

i can’t believe i’m saying this - the fever just outperformed the liberty tn. better efficiency, especially from 3 (fewer shots, prolly SMARTER shots), better ft shooting, grabbed more boards, scored more in the paint.

the fever played WELL tn bro… might be more shocking than caitlin’s triple double if the two weren’t obviously inherently linked

[blazingstar29]

Top Gun Work Outs - Goose

Well well well, everyone’s favourite (dead) RIO. Sorry this took so long life got busy but Goose has been in my head since day 1. It’s pretty obvious that despite Anthony Edwards working out for the film he didn’t stack on the muscle like the others. BUT I’m here to talk meta and make inferences so reality doesn’t matter to me lmao.

Disclaimer: in this series i talk about characters body composition and the exercises they do. Particular in this instalment there’s a little bit of a focus on weight so if this is triggering please give it a miss :)

It’s fairly obvious Goose is pretty lean. In the photo above there’s next to know additional muscle in his arm. What’s interesting though is that he still has a broad back despite not having any muscle. That comes down just to the natural conformation of someone but also may be a sign of Anthony’s efforts of working out that he built his lats up a bit.

as his bicep flexes we see some muscular definition.

But the reality is Goose is quite lean. And we see that from multiple angles that he’s not lean and buff in the way Slider is, but almost more of a runner or cyclist build. (More likely cyclist because it’s low impact and I’ll explain more why.)

And you might be thinking, what are you going to talk about? Well steady on. Being buff is all well and good but I’m think in the the broader universe.

Anthony Edwards is tall. He’s 6’4 tall. Y’all ever wondered why those crusty little dogs live forever but Great Danes don’t? The bigger you are the more your body has to work. Wether it’s pumping blood or your joints, tall people wear out.

Goose probably knows this. He spends his days in jet planes going mach 2. That’s a lot of pressure of the body. And although Goose is pretty agile, as seen in his stellar leap into the air above (and consequentially getting his foot stuck in the net)

He has a young family with a son he wants to play catch with. He doesn’t want to add extra strain to his joints. Especially because orthopaedic surgery wasn’t what it is today. Even arthroscopes that were pioneered and popular (at least in australia) are now falling out of fashion because ‘cleaning up the joint’ actually added more problems.

So whilst Goose isn’t skinny and looks like he could be pushed over by a breath of wind, he isn’t carrying any extra mass than he has to.

And this is something I noticed with Slider too, but it felt more prevalent with Goose.

This photo is just for those who want him; I thought it’s be appreciated. Also slider basically one millimeter from lying in goose’s lap lmao.

Exercises:

Cycling! Low impact, good cardio. Mav follows him on his motorbike when Goose goes up hills and shouts encouragement but Goose just throws his water bottle at him.

Swimming. Again, low impact but he doesn’t swim as much as Ice, he’d have a bit more muscle if he did it multiple times a week.

Hiking. I see those calves mr edwards. And, fun family activity too!

So yeah, that’s what I make of goose!

[cherriiramen]

To those of y’all still posting art, headcanons, clips, screenshots, 3D models, and even little ramble blogs of Morston, I love you.

You’re carrying this tiny little ship on your shoulders despite the constant harassing in your inboxes, and I hope the hate doesn’t get to you. People still think we’re pedophiles, transphobes, racists, terrorists (yes unfortunately), child groomers, r*pists and god knows what else. Unfortunately most of us can’t even address the situation without getting violently mocked, and it’s STILL ongoing.

I think people never consider the actual psychological pov of the shippers, they’re always quick to jump that we’re.. child predators?? For shipping something they headcanon as ‘incestous’?? Some of us are literally still minors, and believe me when I say none of us shipped them for incestious/predatory reasons as you all suspect and blame us for. We NEVER had intentions to make it incestious NOR paedophilic, but hey ho, just because one person claimed so, everyone had to throw in the same accusations. I wanted to avoid speaking of all this but at this point it’s just becoming cruel.

If you found out a family member or an irl friend of yours shipped something you hate, would you also cry about it? Wouldn’t you THEN consider that attacking them would be inhumane behaviour? But nahhh, we can be cunts on the internet just ‘cuz we aren’t free enough to do so away from the screen in fear actual human beings would call us insane, right?

Morston is not problematic, but you all gaslit yourselves into thinking it’s a severe issue in the fandom and that we’re horrible people. Is it? Isn’t our ‘problematic’ behaviour natural when we’re constantly getting harassed? So we can’t defend ourselves and our friends when they’re getting straight up bullied? Are you so clinically online to think it’s perfectly okay to go and harass people over what, two fictional characters? What’s worse is that there’s enough proof to make it acceptable, but you all just HAVE to disagree just to prove yourselves right. And then you get all sensitive and whiney when it leads to consequences or when people stand up to you. You not ONLY harass the shippers, but you forcefully drive people away from us. You harass anyone innocent who does as little as reblog our art. And what’s worse is we’re expected to sit down, zip our mouthes and watch you shit on us on a daily basis.

No Emily, we don’t want to hear your one millionth weekly rant blog on why Morston shippers should stay away from you. Neither do we need a reminder that we’re crusty.

And to know that almost the entire fandom claps for this kind of behaviour honestly disgusts me. Besides, I thought THE Roger Clark HIMSELF told y’all to cut the bullshit. Or did y’all completely disregard that just to fit your desires?

[thatchickwithtoomanyhobbies]

The Boys Pt.2

***More weird headcanons about the boys: Bonus Edition! I replaced Daniels with Pierson and Turner in this one since Daniels is already pretty fleshed out. Let me know if y’all want more Pierson and Turner stuff.***

Aiello

*Was forced to learn to play to organ for Sunday Mass when he was a kid. He hated it at first but eventually grew to enjoy it. He still plays when the regular organist isn’t there to play.

*A great singer but he’s embarrassed about it so he mostly just sings in the shower or when he’s by himself so people don’t find out.

*Dad was/is an alcoholic and always off somewhere getting drunk so he and his sisters were raised by their mom and Nonna the majority of the time.

*Snapped his ankle the first week home because he he went jogging (habit from being in the military) and tripped over a raise in the sidewalk that definitely wasn’t there when he left. He only made it half a block and his sister found him while checking the mail.

*Chokes on his own spit on a regular basis.

*Willing to do pretty much anything on a dare as long as you’re paying him. Lick the sidewalk? Sure. Run down the street naked? Of course! Propose to a random girl in a grocery store? You bet ya.

*Despite the rough exterior, he’s nothing but a giant teddy bear that loves cuddles. But unfortunately for him, he doesn’t get them because he can’t get a girlfriend to save his life so he cuddles with his cat instead.

*Loves art. Especially making it himself but won’t admit to it. Mostly because his father “didn’t want a fairy for a son” and thinks art is emasculating (poor Frankie 🥺)

Stiles

*Looks like a cinnamon roll, but could kill you if he really felt like it. Thankfully he’s a pretty chill guy unless you push the right buttons, then all hell breaks loose.

*Taught himself to play the piano when he was 10. He plays even more after coming home because it’s the one thing that can calm him down when his PTSD is going wild.

*The record for ‘World’s Weakest Immune System’ goes to Drew Stiles. If someone with some sort of bug or virus so much as looks in his direction he catches it and is out of commission for a week.

*He’s a giant baby when he’s sick and thinks he’s gonna die whenever he catches a cold. (Man-flu, anyone?)

*Just generally not a good driver. He regularly jumps curbs, almost hits mailboxes, knocks over trashcans, ect.

*Forever cold. If it’s even slightly under 70*F, he’s huddled under a pile of blankets and a thick sweater complaining about the cold.

*Constantly chomping on bubble gum. He probably contributes to about 50% of the local store’s bubble gum sales.

Zussman

* Surprisingly, he plays the violin and is pretty good at it.

* He can twist balloon animals and the kids at Synagogue love him for it.

*Loves football. Managed to form one out of old crusty socks he had the medic stitch together and tossed it around with Daniels in their down time.

*Somewhat ambidextrous.

*The only one in his family that can’t carry a tune. If you told him to sing or he dies, you may as well just put both of you out of your misery before he makes your ears bleed with terrible singing.

*Got the only somewhat-tall gene in his family. Parents are 4’11 and 5’5 and he ended up 5’8.

Pierson

* Has a wife and two little boys (6 and 3) back home and wants a couple more. He loves being a dad more than anything, and is proud to be a better one than his own.

* An animal guy. As in ‘likes animals more than people.’ Feeds the strays back home in Oklahoma.

*Attempts to go sober cold turkey after the war. Doesn’t really work, but he does cut back on alcohol a lot.

*Blames himself for Turners death. So much so that he goes to visit his widow and beg for her forgiveness.

*Takes on an uncle-type role to Turner’s kids and tells them stories about their dad.

*Actually a decently good cook. His specialty? Chili.

Turner

*Mom was part of the Women’s Suffrage Movement, so as a result he was very much a feminist.

*Had he survived, he would’ve been proud to have some of the first female soldiers in his platoon in 1948.

* Left behind a wife and three kids, ages 13, 10, and 3. He wanted to have one more once he got home so his youngest would have someone close in age to play with.

* Sort of a bookworm.

* Enjoyed carpentry when he was home. He made the majority of the furniture in his house himself.