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#y’all have no idea how much a heart or a reblog means to me in this particular space
explode-this · 6 months
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I’m used to being invisible/a thread killer on forums and discords (28 years of the internet and going strong as the forum idiot, baby!), but a brand new one to me is being roundly ignored in the service chat of the queer-affirming church of which I am a tithe-pledging member lmao/sob
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librababe99 · 1 month
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Weathering the Storm
A/N: Hey Y’all! So I’ve always been someone who lurks, reblogs and enjoys the work that others put out on Tumblr. I have attempted to write things in the past but end up keeping it to myself or scrap the idea altogether— BUT after watching Deadpool and Wolverine my love for those two has hit me hard!  Anyways, here’s a little angsty blurb I wrote for Logan. 
Please let me know what you think! I'm open to suggestions and comments!
- Libra ✧ : *✧・゚:*
Warnings: None.  Word Count: 620
The rain pounds against the window, a relentless downpour that mirrors the storm brewing inside you. You sit on the edge of the bed, arms wrapped around yourself, trying to hold it together. But it’s hard. It’s so damn hard when everything feels like it’s falling apart.
Logan is pacing the room, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. You can see the tension in his muscles, the barely contained fury that radiates off him in waves. He hasn’t looked at you since the argument started—since the words that neither of you can take back were thrown like daggers.
“Logan,” you finally say, your voice breaking the heavy silence. He stops but doesn’t turn to face you. His shoulders rise and fall with each breath, and for a moment, you wonder if he’s even listening.
But then he speaks, his voice rough and edged with pain. “I can’t keep doin’ this,” he mutters, the words barely audible over the rain. “Every time… it’s like I’m losing you a little more.”
Your heart clenches at the raw emotion in his tone, and you stand, taking a hesitant step toward him. “You’re not losing me,” you say, though the crack in your voice betrays your own doubt. “I’m right here.”
He finally turns to look at you, his eyes shadowed with something that makes your breath catch. There’s anger there, yes, but beneath it, there’s something deeper—something broken. “But for how long?” he asks, his voice rough with a vulnerability he rarely shows. “How long before you walk away? Before you decide you can’t handle bein’ with a guy like me?”
The accusation stings because it’s not entirely unfounded. You’ve both been through hell, and sometimes the weight of it all feels like too much. But the thought of leaving him? Of walking away from the only person who truly understands you? That’s a pain you can’t bear to even consider.
“I’m not leaving you, Logan,” you insist, your voice trembling. “I—” You swallow hard, trying to find the right words. “I’m scared, okay? Scared that one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. That something will happen, and I won’t be able to stop it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. I just… I don’t know how to deal with this.”
He’s silent for a long moment, his gaze piercing as he studies you. Then, with a heavy sigh, he steps forward, closing the distance between you. His hand reaches up, his rough fingers brushing your cheek. “You’re not gonna lose me, darlin’,” he murmurs, the anger in his voice replaced by something softer, something laced with the same fear you feel. “But I can’t keep fightin’ this battle alone. We’re in this together, or we’re not in it at all.”
His words hang in the air, a challenge and a plea all at once. You meet his gaze, feeling the weight of the decision before you. It would be easy to walk away, to let the fear and doubt win. But as you look into Logan’s eyes, you realize that leaving him would hurt more than anything else ever could.
Taking a deep breath, you place your hand over his. “We’re in this together,” you whisper, the resolve in your voice stronger now. “No matter what.”
For a moment, the tension between you lingers, but then Logan pulls you into his arms, holding you tight as if afraid you might slip away. You bury your face in his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart against yours. The storm outside rages on, but in Logan’s embrace, you find a sliver of peace—a promise that, despite the darkness, you’ll face whatever comes together.
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slutouttanowhere · 2 months
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Joe Hendry x black!oc
Theme: fluff
a/n: honestly I had no idea who this man was like two months ago, but now I can’t stop playing his damn song(s). I love him ya honor, and I ain’t never going back! No but seriously Joe Hendry has warped my brain cells, he’s handsome, Scottish, plays guitar!!! Like what’s not to love? So here you moots go, just a cute little one just for funsies, y’all know me always cooking. Reblog, and follow for more 🎸
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When Joe first joined nxt, you were far from interested in anybody. Lash and Jakara has tried to talk you into hooking up with one of the boys multiple times, but you always decline. “Y’all know my career comes first.”
Joe had his eyes on you from the moment you crossed his path. Five foot two, gorgeous, deep brown skin, and a little stubborn. Nothing he couldn’t handle. Every time he’d watch you walk past him, he noticed you would slow your pace a tad giving him a show.
Admittedly, you did find Joe handsome, his platinum blonde hair made his pretty brown eyes stand out. Every time he smiled his dimples pressed into his cheeks, and he had this dorky way about him but secretly loved it. He clearly was very confident in himself. You always knew when he was in the building because there would be a bunch of the girls standing in a group giggling, and sure enough, Joe would be at the forefront grinning charmingly. You even caught Perez snickering at one of his jokes.
Of course Jakara and Lash got tired of watching the two of you eye fuck each other every week, so they took it upon themselves to get you two together. At first you and your girls are walking down the halls chatting about the usual, and the next Lash had quite literally shoved you into Joe. Once your eyes locked that was it, your hands pressed firmly to his muscular chest, and his hands held you by the hips.
The way Joe went about showing his affection for you was in a grand way every time, meaning you got your very own song curtesy of the man himself. He felt serenading you in front of the whole world might have been a touch too much for the first time, so he asked you out on a picnic date. “You look beautiful kitten.” His eyes took you in, then grabbed your hand, and pressed his lips to your skin. You sat on the soft quilted blanket, your legs tucked underneath you, and a drink in your hand as you looked up at your handsome Scottish heart throb.
He sang softly to you as he strum his acoustic guitar with accuracy, “who told you I liked Ed Sheeran?” You questioned him when he was done with his performance. He gently put the guitar down, planted a soft kiss on your lips, and sat cross legged in front of you.
“Oh I do my research sweetheart.” He bragged arrogantly, his finger tapped you on the nose, then took a sip of his drink. His eyes lingered on you, committing your every feature to his memory, a small smiles turned onto his lips as he thought about how hard headed you were in the beginning. It was obvious to him that maybe you liked him, but you put in zero effort to let him know that. No, you made him chase you. Even when your friends intervened, it took a few tries to get you to say yes to a date.
You looked up from your croissant, with half of it still in your mouth you giggled a little. “What?” You offered the other half of the bread, he smiled at you, his pretty brown eyes sparkling in the sunlight. Butterflies swooned the pit of your tummy, and all you could think about was how special he’s made you feel.
“Nothing, just enjoying my view.” He spoke honestly, you like breathtaking with the sun setting behind you, and the wind blowing a crisp breeze causing your pretty curls to tousle around. You made something as simple as pink, and white look so angelic, the complete opposite of your in ring gear. You got up on your knees, and scooted towards him till your legs were touching. He held you by the waist securely so you wouldn’t topple over. You took his face in your hands, and pressed your lips to his in a deep heated kiss. His tongue pushed past your lips, and caressed the inside of your mouth, you didn’t fight it.
He moaned into your mouth as your hands slid down his neck, then rested on his muscular chest, which to your surprise was actually soft. He loved the taste of you, sweet like fresh fruits, and the tenderness of your body. You straddled his lap, your thighs on either side of him. You didn’t care if anyone saw you, his lips felt too good, you only pulled away to press wet kisses to his neck, that’s when he began to protest. “As much as I want to spread you open right here on this blanket, we are global icons on tv every week.” His breathing was already picking up from the teasing, it didn’t take much for you to excite him. He kissed you on your forehead, you wanted to argue, but he was right. So instead you opted for lying on his chest under the pink lemonade sky, and after the sun fully went down Joe helped you pack up everything. The drive home was long, but of course the care karaoke helped with that. Eventually you passed out in the passenger seat half way through, Joe turned the music down, and let you get some rest on the way back to your apartment.
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Vera I'm so sorry you are still shadowbanned! I wish tumblr would get their stuff together.
For the fanfic writer's asks: 1,5,12,25,55,69,71
Hope you have fun answering them <3
Hi, yeah the shadowban is….ugh, annoying. Definitely annoying.
Thank you for the questions!
1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?
Oh wow…I think I daydream more than I write. I daydream all the time and I’m pretty sure half the stuff that’s in my head I’ve never even started writing. But if I finally start writing then I’m not stopping till it’s done lol
I’ll sit the next few days on a one shot or chapter or whatever and I need to finish it. 😂😂
5. How many wips do you have?  What fandoms/pairings are they for?
Fuck I- I don’t know
Let’s see
The au’s with @jamneuromain “broken bones and broken hearts” ( Steve Rogers x reader) & “together or not at all” (Steve Rogers x reader, Nick Gant x reader, Johnny storm x reader, Jake Jensen x reader) in the second one is a lot ready and there’s also a loooot of smut lol just so y’all know
Then there’s “drownin siren” Steve Rogers x mermaid reader
I’ve planned a sub!mafia!Bucky Barnes x reader one shot
A meet-cute for Stucky!! Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes
I have a Lloyd Hansen x reader smut Drabble ( ready to post actually)
Oh Noise pt 3, Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Reader smut, which is nearly finished [ pt 1 is here pt 2 here ]
I’m planning a grumpy!roommate!Curtis x reader au :) but haven’t started one this one yet
Oh god there’s also pretty boy pt 2, sub!Steve Rogers x reader smut [ pt 1 is here ]
Omg i still have more; mean!dom!steve Rogers x villain!(sub)reader
Is it weird that I’m already planning my kinktober list? But yeah I’m doing that too
I have also a pt two to the Lance tucker shot “stretch you (out)” that I think I haven’t posted yet?
I’m working on so many things rn fuck I hadn’t noticed until now
12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?
Sometimes yes, I definitely some background stories and I like planning how every character met or if they had any relationships before with them etc
Definitely also about their family history or school
But I don’t think more than that
25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?
I love making moodboards hahhahaha
I like writing because of all the possibilities i have!
And also interacting with people. I know many people don’t leave feedback and that’s okay BUT when i finally see Someone comment or reblog something even with just a emoji or gif I’m in heaven. It makes me so so happy to talk about my work or answer questions. Idk, I just love interacting with others. I’d say im really shy in rl and it’s just so much better on tumblr. Here I feel like I found my people and I can be myself:)
55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?
“He felt blood rush to his cheeks, making him blush”
I use this often or always the -ing verb form
I feel like there’s also always some kind of misunderstanding? There are definitely a few oneshots and fics with this trope
There was something else I wanted to addd but I forgot what
69. What are your favorite fic at the moment?
Ohhhh I love “in the snow” By @postmodernmulticoloredcloak
71. Do you spend more time reading or writing?
Id say it depends on the day. Sometimes I’m writing all day long and the next day I’m reading all the time:)
Thank you for all these questions!!!!! Love you!!!!!!
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hiccanna-tidbits · 2 years
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I posted 1,287 times in 2022
That's 200 more posts than 2021!
46 posts created (4%)
1,241 posts reblogged (96%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@gigilberry
@tugboatdaddywolf
@kirkwords
@ancientson
@everythingfeelslike-themovies
I tagged 1,246 of my posts in 2022
Only 3% of my posts had no tags
#rotbtd - 458 posts
#hiccup - 354 posts
#rotbtfd - 345 posts
#anna - 320 posts
#hiccanna - 266 posts
#rapunzel - 248 posts
#jack frost - 240 posts
#hiccup x anna - 224 posts
#anna x hiccup - 224 posts
#frozen - 184 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#the only person he zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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YO HEY SO I ACTUALLY GOT OFF MY BUTT AND MADE THESE KIDS SOMETHING FOR VALENTINE’S DAY
So I’ve been wanting to make a Jackunzel Valentine’s-style aesthetic using that center pic for a while now (because it is just so absolutely Rapunzel, and who better to win her heart than our very own Jack Frost???), and I was like “well, it’s the February special anyways, so why not?” BUT then I couldn’t fit all the pictures I wanted to use into one moodboard, so y’all boutta get two more of these bad boys!!!
Decided to try a primarily blue-and-pink aesthetic again for this particular moodboard! Added in some gold-ish accents because I just think it looks neat :D Honestly I already knew that Jackunzel with a blue-and-pink color scheme absolutely hits, but I had no idea how much Jackunzel with a blue, pink, and gold color scheme would ALSO hit :O
My dumb cheesy headcanon that I will not let anyone take away is that that Rapunzel absolutely adores pink heart-shaped things, and for this reason is far too big a fan of Valentine’s day XD
Also yes!!! Those are glow-in-the-dark moon and star stickers! Just seems like the type of wacky little things Jack and Punz would be into :D
Pic credits available upon request!
25 notes - Posted February 17, 2022
#4
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YO, so remember last year when I made that purple-themed Jackunzel aesthetic, because purple is lowkey their theme color??? (I mean...combine Jack’s blue color scheme with Rapunzel’s pink color scheme and that’s what you get, right?) I liked the purple aesthetic so much I was like...what if I made another??? What then???
Actually really happy with the way this one turned out!!! I might actually like it better than the other purple one I made, and that was already one of my favorites :O Just!!! The purple snowflake!!! The galaxy cupcakes!!! The lilacs!!! Literally the most gorgeous purple night sky pic I’ve ever stumbled upon!!! The ridiculously appropriate quotes!!! It’s like the stars aligned (no pun intended, heh heh) for me to make the ideal Jackunzel moodboard, apparently??? Wild.
Although I’ll have all of you know that I actually had to do quite a bit of editing and color-adjusting on the Rapunzel pic here because the girl was originally platinum blonde, and I had to make extra sure that no one thought this was a J/elsa moodboard XD
This isn’t directly related to the February Special prompts, I’ll admit, BUT it’s Jackunzel and I’m posting it in February, so I’ll go ahead and tag it Jackunzelfebruaryspecial anyhow XD
Pic credits available upon request!
27 notes - Posted February 8, 2022
#3
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There once was a lass sent out to sea Ordered by the king to stay away from me A princess should not fall in love with a commoner and a thief. Ha! So I’ll sing a siren song In hopes one day she will come home With more than her weight in gold To take me father’s throne
***
So I accidentally ended up thinking up this big complicated AU for this post I saw a while back, AND I haven’t posted Moanida in a hot minute, so...it’s moodboard time!!!
Basically this is in an AU where Motunui is actually a fairly sizeable kingdom instead of a small island village...and Moana really is a princess here XD I imagine maybe the village grew larger and larger because Motunui was taking refugees from the other islands as the Great Darkness was consuming the land. There’s an ever-present sense of dread, and King Tui worries his kingdom’s days are numbered. He tries to proceed Business as Usual, though, not wanting to cause a mass panic among the people. Fortunately, the darkness and disease plaguing the seas has not yet reached Motunui, and food is plentiful. King Tui hopes they’ll be safe for a while yet.
Princess Moana’s whole life has been planned out for her--marry someone of high standing, produce an heir, someday take her father’s throne. She longs more than anything for adventure on the seas, and to save her kingdom from the encroaching darkness. She also finds herself yearning for meaningful connections outside her family, unsatisfied with the distant and formal relationship she has with the palace staff and her subjects. So many seem to other her due to her royal status, and she sometimes feels completely alone--even in a kingdom that reveres her. No one sees her as she is--not Princess Moana, daughter of King Tui, heir to Motunui, but merely Moana of Motunui.
As the darkness spreads, more refugees come in, and the kingdom grows. Fish aren’t as easy to come by as they once were, and resources grow tight as the mouths to feed increase.
Enter Merida.
It’s no surprise that as the kingdom grows, so does the criminal underbelly. When finery and jewelry from the palace begin to go missing, King Tui and Queen Sina wonder if the staff are in cahoots with someone unsavory. Upon searching the servants’ quarters, though, there is no evidence of any robbery or foul play.
When Moana starts seeing flashes of red out of the corner of her eye, and just out of reach around castle corridors, she thinks she’s imagining things. That is, until she walks into a drawing room and sees a scraggly redheaded girl in filthy street clothes attempting to climb out a 3rd-story window. In her scramble to escape, the intruder breaks the outside tree limb she was attempting to climb onto, and Moana hears a number of branches snapping and cursing in some strange, singsong accent. Both intrigued and amused, Moana runs to the floor below to make sure this poor unprepared thief doesn’t fall to her death.
Moana finds her hanging on a lower limb for dear life, tunic even more ripped and mouth spewing profanities that the princess is sure would make her blush--well, if she could understand any of them. Still laughing, she extends a hand to help the thief in through a lower window. The thief swats her arm away the first few attempts, but finally grabs her hand when the branch starts creaking a little too much.
Apparently this girl is so far into the criminal underworld that she has no idea who Moana is. The thief can tell she’s important--not everyone walks around in glimmering red-orange dresses and shiny shell and pearl-studded tiaras. She’s nobility of some kind for sure. But not a princess.
Regardless of her noble status, the thief girl has no interest in groveling, or begging Moana’s forgiveness. She’s quick to pull a weapon on the princess--a lethal-looking bow and arrow whose bad side Moana does not want to be on. The thief girl assures her that she’ll “shoot yeh right in yer pretty face if yeh even think about shoutin’!” Moana can’t hold back her laugh, and assures the thief she has no intention of shouting. Not when this is the most interesting thing that’s happened in months. Maybe even years--the castle has certainly never had thieves this brazen.
Moana takes the thief girl to her room to get her cleaned up; her parents are too busy managing the kingdom to pay much attention to what she’s doing, anyways. She puts her in cleaner servants’ clothes and finds a cloak to conceal her hair before sneaking her out a back door, extending an invitation to come visit sometime. The castle could do without a few pearls, Moana figures--that, and the thrill of abetting a criminal could make her princess life a little less dull.
Besides, meeting someone who has no idea who she is is a gift too precious to waste.
And so Moana takes to “accidentally” leaving many a palace window open, and many a door unlocked. Sure enough, the thief girl comes back--although she claims it’s only because Moana is “a wee soft little lamb who makes thievin’ far too easy!” Nonetheless, she’s quick to tell her story after little resistance.
Merida, Moana finds out her name is. She’s been on the run a long time--how long she won’t say, but from the rugged, toughened state of the girl, Moana imagines it’s plenty long enough for her to harden her edges and teach her how to take care of herself. She claims she doesn’t need anyone--and never has--but from the way she’s more than willing to have heart-to-hearts with a near stranger, Moana doubts that. It must be lonely in the thief world--always watching your back and never being sure someone won’t stab you in it. Moana gathers Merida has deemed her naïve enough to trust.
Moana is hardly naïve, but if that’s what it takes to believe she’s worth opening up to...so be it.
Merida, it turns out, is a runaway from a kingdom far, far away--oceans away, even. She never felt at home there. She always felt like she was being twisted into something she wasn’t--made to fit an image, with no one caring who she actually was. She took off, flitting from place to place. She pickpocketed enough to eat until Wanted posters of her adorned every wall in town--and only then would she vanish without a trace, off to change her name and her backstory for her next grand adventure.
Moana has a feeling that Merida isn’t making up the backstory this time, but she doesn’t say as much.
After a while, Moana admits her own malcontent. The kingdom only continues to grow as her parents do nothing about the encroaching darkness that leaves so many homeless in the first place. She tells of her strange connection with the ocean, and how sometimes the waves themselves would part for her as a child. She talks about how badly she wishes she could help, and how a strange green emblem from her late grandmother Queen Tala might be the key to everything.
Maybe it’s terrible to think, but Moana finds herself wanting to inherit the throne sooner. She really thinks she could do some good, and she’s determined to conquer the darkness and save the kingdom. Merida, she finds, could be a surprisingly big help--she’s tough, she can fight like no one’s business, and she’s lived among the downtrodden and destitute in the slums and knows firsthand the kind of life more and more will be condemned to if something is not done about the darkness. She’d make an excellent bodyguard, and could even help with law-making and battle strategy--she’s politically savvy in a way Moana didn’t expect.
Things shift between them after a while. There are more and more stolen touches during their meetings, more physical affection. Moana finds herself looking at Merida for longer than she means to. Merida brings her gifts and trinkets from the seedier markets royals don’t usually go to--tiny, pretty seashells, wildflowers from hidden crevices, knives that are usually considered “improper” for a young princess to use.
For the first time since Queen Tala--perhaps for the first time ever--Moana feels like someone sees her for who she truly is. Not a princess, not some otherworldly, ethereal authority to be worshipped, but just Moana.
And when Merida inevitably learns the truth of who her new luxuriously-clothed friend is, Moana is surprised to see she barely bats an eye. She shrugs, says “yeh, I figured you were someone important, from the way yeh dress like a fancypants. But yer not some self-righteous snob like the rest of them, so ah like yeh.”, and then moves on like nothing happened.
By the time Moana realizes she’s fallen in love, the palace staff have gathered there’s something suspicious about the princess sneaking out the back door as often as she does. Moana was just starting to be less cautious when King Tui walks in on her and Merida kissing.
The king is furious. No princess should grow feelings for a dirty peasant--and a criminal, at that. Although Merida is spared the noose, she is exiled from the island for good, given a ship and told to never return.
Before the thief is sent away, Moana is allowed one goodbye. Merida vows to come back one day--despite what Tui says--with her ship stuffed with treasure. She’s gotten a fruitful tip from the criminal underworld, and if all goes as planned, they should be able to buy the kingdom for themselves. Then, no one can stop them from being together--and, at last, conquering the creeping shadows.
In her absence, Moana writes Merida songs. Crude, scrawled haphazardly on palm paper, but full of heart. She shoves them into corked glass bottles before sneaking out and dropping them into the sea. Maybe they’ll never reach Merida...but then again, maybe they will.
The days without Merida drag, and Moana has never felt more alone. Nonetheless, she has faith that her love will return with riches, and the two of them will take the throne and save the land, just as they’ve always planned.
***
See the full post
35 notes - Posted April 18, 2022
#2
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“When the daughter of the sun fell in love with the daughter of the moon, the cosmos let out a resigned sigh--this was going to cause problems, but sadly, there were very few ways it could have been avoided.”
No officer you don’t understand I HAD to make a Fem!Jack x Rapunzel Sun Gay and Moon Gay Aesthetic, I didn’t have a choice, it was required by law, someone simply might have chosen to press criminal charges if I didn’t--
Basic story here is that Jaina Frost and Rapunzel Corona are some kind of sun and moon princesses who rule over the night and the day, respectively. They only see each other briefly, at sunrise and sunset, but it’s enough time for them to talk, flirt, and fall for each other. Of course, them spending too much time together could mess up the earth’s day and night cycles, so their beleaguered heavenly body parents have to think of some way to manage their hormonal and lovestruck daughters so as not to throw off seasonal daylight changes and Daylight Saving’s Time and other such important things.
ALSO solar eclipses are Jaina and Punz smooching actually, I don’t make the rules.
I’ve had this bad boy saved in my Jackunzel aesthetics folder for a while now (yes, I have shipping aesthetics folders--I may have a sliiiiiight problem ^^;), but I didn’t submit it until this month because you really can’t get much more soulmate-y than Sun and Moon Lesbians! Something something they’re tied by cosmic fate, heavenly body motifs, and the Power of Gay
Okay listen I know Rapunzel and Cassandra also count as Sun and Moon Gay but Rapunzel and Fem!Jack were the OG Sun and Moon Gay and honestly I think they just Do It Better
Well anyways there was simply no way I could go an entire Jackunzel event without my girl Jaina Frost making an appearance!!! Genderbent Jack Frost my beloved ;_____; I’ve already kinda messed around with the idea of Lesbian Jackunzel here and here and here but you know what??? I am literally ALWAYS down for more actually!!!
Jack just got that Trans Girl Energy, sue me
I gotta say that I am absolutely THRILLED with the sun and moon dresses I found for this and I have been absolutely DYING to show them off, so this might well be the best day of my life :O Also I have searched far and wide and have not found many images that top that sunset, that night sky, and that moon-cycles-in-a-jar graphic, so y’all are truly #blessed to see them all in one sitting on this fine day XD
Pic credits available upon request!
39 notes - Posted February 28, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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WHAT UP @ohlooksheswriting HAVE AN INDIRECT CONTRIBUTION TO HICCUNZEL MONTH
SO I think my main reservation about shipping romantic Hiccunzel has always been the fact that I stan Hiccanna and Jackunzel so hard, like. I simply cannot look at Rapunzel x Hiccup and NOT go “but what of Jack and Anna??? Are they now fated to not find true love??? They’re gonna be so sad D:”
So the obvious solution all along was to have Hiccup and Rapunzel date Anna, Jack, AND each other, EZ
And HiJack and Annunzel are pretty solid gay ships, so like??? It kinda WORKS???
And thus the RotBTD discord came up with Hijannunzel, which might well be the most blursed ship in existence XD Legit poly ships are too powerful. Once you start shipping them, it’s like “oh, this solves SO many problems??? And also if they all got married and got a tax break they’d be OP as hell??? And having a 3-way support system of awesome people to kiss and cuddle and hang out with would be SICK???”
ANYWAYS! I decided to style this so that I put a thing I think each pair would bond over between their pictures because I think it’d be neat!!!
Rapunzel & Hiccup: Art!!! He sketches, she paints, and they definitely draw each other and nerd out over different art styles together!!! Catch them on an art museum date any day. They’ve also definitely made art of each other, and the rest of the polycule. Rapunzel & Jack: Outdoorsy winter fun!!! Like Rapunzel is literally ALWAYS down for a gigantic, Extra snowball fight and you can’t change my mind. Punz just really likes being outside (I mean, she was locked inside for years, can you blame her???) and appreciates all the seasons, but like...overappreciates winter because she figures it could use the love XD Anna & Jack: Sweets!!! I am 1000% convinced both these kids are sugar junkies. Anna has a preference for chocolate obviously, but Jack will devour anything with a sugar content Tooth would absolutely not approve of. They also both adore hot cocoa, and you can’t change my mind. Anna & Hiccup: Dragons/animals in general!!! Anna’s such an animal whisperer in Frozen 1, like. She gets three ducklings to jump into her hands, befriends Hans’ horse, vents to her own horse, and sees a guy talking to his reindeer like a buddy and just immediately starts doing the same thing. Ain’t no one convincing me Anna wouldn’t think dragons were the coolest shit ever, and she would try to (perhaps unwisely) befriend every single one.
Couldn’t include in this one, BUT ALSO:
Jack & Hiccup: Flying and thrill-seeking!!! Like they both seem to be hardcore adrenaline junkies, if Jack letting the wind blow him around every which way and Hiccup literally inventing a funky winged device so he can fly with Toothless is anything to go by. These two would really love flying and exploring together! The adventures AND the poor decisions would be unparalleled XD Rapunzel & Anna: Flower appreciation!!! They both dun got big springtime vibes, and would probably be constantly picking wildflower bouquets for each other. I feel like they’d get into gardening, and try to befriend all the pollinator bugs--even the scary ones XD Love that they both have floral motifs, and Anna’s is a sunflower while Rapunzel’s is...a literal sun flower XD Also love the idea of them bonding over girly stuff in general, and doing things like dress-shopping and meadow-frolicking together :D
Anyways, they all share an apartment and have movie and video game nights where they all get into a cuddle pile on the couch and it’s wholesome and fantastic. They also like to crash fancy parties paired off and then stage dramatic “reveals” where they get caught cheating on each other and make a whole production out of it, solely to be chaotic. Also to snack on fancy little cheese blocks on toothpicks and crostini. Have a great rest of your night.
Pic credits available upon request!
70 notes - Posted May 10, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
Aaaaaaand my top 10 tags being mostly Hiccanna-related surprised all of no one XD
...actually very pleased that five of my most bitchin' moodboards are my top 5 posts. The people of tumblr have good taste indeed.
*tosses candy and breadsticks to the crowd like a benevolent king*
ALSO I was absolutely NOT expecting my sapphic sun-gay-and-moon-gay fem!Jack x Rapunzel moodboard to be my second most popular post, but holy shit am I delighted??? Like that's legit one of my favorite things I've ever made and my god sapphic Jackunzel is so valid and I'm happy it's getting the love it deserves ;_____;
I'm even more emotional because my irl friend who is very Jack Frost-coded came out as a trans girl this year and just. FEM!JACK IS REALLLL SHE'S REAL GUYS and she is POPULAR ON TUMBLR <3
Incredibly fitting that my Hijannunzel post is the top one for the year. Like there truly is something here for everyone <3 Like!!! There is a good chance your ship is in here SOMEWHERE!!! All according to plan. This is how we ALL win :D
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Text
Gotta say I’m really not a fan of the wave of “LIKES DO WORK. HOW DARE FAN CREATORS ASK FOR MORE REBLOGS” stuff I’ve been seeing.
“☝️🤓 um, actually Tumblr has an algorithm, you just have all the options turned off” okay, and I am not the only person to have all those options off. Saw a post saying the algorithm features aren’t used by the long term user base…..so….how are they gonna find my stuff if no one reblogs? How am I going to reach them with my content? Tag them? DM them? If I’m only getting likes on my stuff how am I going to reach the user base that has the algorithm features turned off? I’d love to hear this explanation because I can guarantee it’ll have the word reblogs in it.
“You should create for yourself” I do….and the stuff I create for myself never sees the light of day because it’s for me. There’s two friends who will hear about the idea I’m sitting on but that idea will never hatch and will never be seen by anyone else because it’s for me. If I’m posting it it’s for others to see.
“Users use likes as bookmarks to come back to it later” so you mean to tell me they aren’t even looking at my work they are just liking it and might not even come back to it because it got buried in all the other stuff they “liked and saved for later”
Likes might do something but they really don’t help content creators. And I don’t mean the content “creators” who use AI to fuel their blogs, I mean the people who put their heart and soul into some art or a fanfic or whatever the hell else and have no one reblogs it or comments on it.
And before you say content creators bitch too much about not getting interactions tell me how often your hard work is recognized at school or work, how often someone tells you that you did good. And then tell me how mad you’d be if no one ever recognized your efforts. Because it’s the same thing. Likes on tumblr don’t even mean someone actually liked the content they liked. People saying likes do something never take that into account. They might add to the algorithm but again, a lot of the user base don’t use those features and a “book mark like” or accidental like doesn’t mean the person actually liked or saw the content so why would the creators stuff being added to their algorithm do anything if they didn’t look the first time?
Don’t get me wrong with all this, Content creators love getting likes but when it’s the only thing we get it’s very disheartening and then we stop creating because why bother if no one cares. Like the root of what content creators want with reblogs and comments is a little fucking human connection with the people who are looking at our stuff. Why are y’all “LIKES ARE ENOUGH” folks so upset about that?
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devious-kat · 2 years
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I posted 178 times in 2022
8 posts created (4%)
170 posts reblogged (96%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@rynoprath
@jigsawtits
@lady-raziel
@tench
@madiesunny
I tagged 11 of my posts in 2022
#iswm - 4 posts
#in space with markiplier - 4 posts
#stranger things - 2 posts
#i was probably 11 or 12 - 1 post
#edit: - 1 post
#stranger things season 4 spoilers - 1 post
#byler - 1 post
#spoilers - 1 post
#st spoilers - 1 post
#stranger things spoilers - 1 post
Longest Tag: 83 characters
#some of you didn't see update on this post where i summoned 6969 crabs and it shows
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I’m already onboard with Our Flag Means Death and I haven’t even seen it yet. But the funniest thing to me is having played the Assassin’s Creed series, these two characters are very familiar from Black Flag…
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Stede Bonnet
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And Edward Thatch/Blackbeard
So I keep picturing them in my head XD
9 notes - Posted March 26, 2022
#4
OH FUCK I CAN SEE FROM THE PREVIEW ON INSTAGRAM THE CLOAK DROP HAS ‘FIX IT FROM THE OUTSIDE’ A N D ‘POP ‘ER IN REVERSE.’ RIP MY WALLET/BANK ACCOUNT
15 notes - Posted May 6, 2022
#3
Some thoughts on Stranger Things volume 2 and Byler.
So I get that like, they couldn’t suddenly be together this season, that wouldn’t be realistic.
But Will Byers still got shafted. He had a beautiful moment with his brother, I loved that.
But pretty much no reconciliation with Mike. You telling me in a 9 hour car ride Mike never thought “I can’t believe El commissioned this painting. Wait I thought she said she hadn’t seen it and had no idea what it was!”? That Will gave him this painting he worked hard on and Mike was like “oh that’s cool” and promptly erased it from his mind? Like I get the situation didn’t call for casual chatter, but like I said they were on the road for a lot of hours.
Not gonna lie, with the way El did it, and the title piggyback, I was expecting Vecna to go after Will by piggybacking into her mind. Or even once they reached Hawkins to like “feel him”.
For the first few seasons it felt like this was personal. That something about Will was causing the Mindflayer/Vecna to choose him. Why did the upside down go from just a hellscape to a copy of Hawkins on the *day* he got pulled in?
I’m really wondering how the 5th season will go. Overall, I felt disappointed in most of the last two eps. Jopper was beautiful. I was stressed about everyone living or dying. I feel so bad for Dustin. And Lucas. They have been traumatized. And poor Max, she broke my heart.
I don’t know that I’d call it queerbaiting only because like I said, I don’t think they could have gotten together in this time frame. But I also understand I may not know the complete definition of it.  And I’m sorry to everyone hurt by it. 💔
17 notes - Posted July 1, 2022
#2
Dude, anyone who makes any kind of ISWM merch that mentions fixing it from the outside, they’re gonna make a FORTUNE off of me. Or ‘pop ‘er in reverse’. I had to rationalize not getting a jumpsuit I’d have like, 2 occasions to wear.
32 notes - Posted April 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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Y’all. I’m sure we’ve noticed this, but I haven’t seen anyone mention it yet
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They just always have to be touching and I’m HERE FOR IT
197 notes - Posted June 7, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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harrysfolklore · 2 years
Note
part 3 of babysitter!yn? i love that concept a lot
HERE IT IS !! i really hope you like it, i really enjoy writing this series <3 next part will be about coachella and the release of harry’s house !!
PREVIOUS PARTS | SUPPORT ME
ask me anything | masterlist | likes and reblogs are appreciated !
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liked by jefezoff, harrystyles and 378 others
yourinstagram makeup is on because i’m finally watching a love on tour show from the audience. i might cry
view all 104 comments
yourbff slayyyy🔥
glenne_azoff I’ll finally have a dance partner
yourbrother i can’t believe you toured with harry styles for 3 months but never watched a show
↳ yourinstagram i was there babysitting our nephew, in case you forgot
harrystyles You have no idea of how excited I am x
↳ yourinstagram 🥺🥺🥺🤍
↳ jefezoff Whipped. Both of you
↳ yourinstagram uGh jeffrey
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liked by yourinstagram, lizzobeeating and 4,933,679 others
harrystyles Thank you for 42 special nights. It’s been a privilege to play for you the last few months. To the band, the crew, and everyone working on this tour, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The energy you brought to this one has left me feeling completely overwhelmed with joy.
To the fans, and everyone who came to see these shows, I thank you. You made them everything they were, and I’ve never felt so genuinely supported. I can’t say it enough, you’re unbelievable.
This tour felt like the celebration of coming back together. I won’t ever forget it. Thank you all so much for the love, I’ll see you very soon. Treat people with kindness. Goodbye for now. I love you all. H
view all 53,180 comments
harryfan1 MY BABYYY IM GOING TO MISS YOU
yourinstagram i never thought this tour would change my life 🤍
harrystyles liked this comment
jefezoff ❤️❤️
harryfan2 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
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liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 233,069 others
pillowpersonpp Personal hype man of Love on Tour
Having baby boy on tour wouldn’t have been possible without your help @yourinstagram 🍼❤️ Thank you endlessly
view all 3,037 comments
harryfan1 awww so adorable
jefezoff Mini you ❤️
yourinstagram thank YOU and mitchy for trusting me and bringing me along, this was one of the best experiences in my entire life 🤍
↳ harryfan2 she really has the dream job
harrystyles Fake news. Baby boy says he wasn’t satisfied with his baby sitter.
↳ yourinstagram OH SHUT UP
↳ harryfan3 they’re besties i love them
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liked by paulithepsm and 165,736 others
harrystyles From all our late night talking to those secret art gallery dates, I’m so happy my friends needed a nanny on tour x
view all 15,872 comments
harryfan1 UMM HARRY??
harryfan2 IM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW
THIS POST HAS BEEN DELETED
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 5,837 others
harrykarma SO MANY QUESTIONS RIGHT NOW
was harry hacked? did he post in the wrong account? DOES HE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW ?? WHOS THE GIRL IN THE PIC ??
view all 986 comments
harryfan1 i swear i’m going insane
harryfan2 i mean we knew he had a private account
↳ harryfan3 it’s not confirmed that the account was his tho
↳ harryfan1 which account?
↳ harryfan2 @yrrahseltys
↳ harryfan1 he has 176 posts im 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
harryfan4 y’all stop respect his privacy
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liked by jefezoff, pillowpersonpp and 392 others
yourinstagram i’m going to murder harry styles
STOP SENDING ME FOLLOW REQUESTS !!
view all 110 comments
yourbff GIRL
jefezoff My worst fear came true
↳ yourinstagram he posts without my supervision and this happens.. istg he’s the one who needs a babysitter
mitchrowland Give the boy a break, he was trying to be romantic
↳ yourinstagram 🫠🫠
yrrahseltys How many times do I have to apologize 🙁
↳ yourinstagram log out of that account pls you’re making me nervous
taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @sunflowervolume66 @lollypopsx @vanteguccir @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore @leadmetogarden @finelinevogue @abeanontoast @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi @msolbesg @tati813 @jodisimp @sad1esgf
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wwinterwitch · 2 years
Text
eddie’s friends (eddie munson x fem!reader)
summary: you get to meet a few of eddie's best friends after a basketball game
pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader (also including robin, steve and nancy but it’s all platonic)
word count: 1,859
warnings/what to expect: non-canon complaint (everyone already know eddie and are friends with him), popular/loser trope, literally y'all being one big happy family, romantic and platonic fluff, everyone is happy (as they should be)
a/n: idk where i was going with this. i wrote this after vol. 2 just to feel something and i've finally decided to post it. it’s just my own little therapy now that we’re not getting more content of the fruity four so i hope y’all enjoy this <3
a reblog and/or comment is always appreciated
masterlist | AO3
"Dude, no way," Steve says in complete disbelief. "There's no way that is your girlfriend."
"Don't sound so surprised," Eddie replies sarcastically, giving his friend a look.
"I don't think Steve meant it like that," Nancy joined the conversation in an attempt to make things better after Steve's comment. "It's just...it's hard to believe since you two look so different."
That was very much true. He was the typical metal head who looks mean and intimidating, while you always seemed to have a smile of your face and seemed to be one of the nicest people to have ever existed. And you are head cheerleader, which means he's really not the type of person you hang around with.
But things changed that one day when a teacher decided you two should do a work project together. You weren't fond of the idea of having to spend time with Eddie Munson at first, and he was definitely not excited to spend his time with one of the popular kids.
Much to yours and Eddie's surprise, you two had so much chemistry and connected almost instantly. He would say the most random thing that wouldn't fail to make you laugh, and you were so adorable it made his heart melt.
You remember he first asked you out on a date the last time you two hang out in the library to finish the project, and you obviously accepted. More dates came after that before he asked you to be officially his girlfriend. You two have been together even since.
"Yeah, well...opposites do attract I guess," was his response, failing to hide the smile appearing on his face. "I honestly still have no idea how we even end up together."
"You and me both," Steve muttered, still very much in disbelief. Nancy subtly nudged him and gave him a warning look. "But– but I'm so happy for you, man! Really, great news."
"Thank you, Wheeler," Eddie leaned across Steve as he thanked her, evidently noticing her latest gesture. "Look, Steve, not my fault you still can't manage to date a girl longer than a weekend. Some of us do get girlfriends."
Nancy laughed at Eddie's comment, covering her mouth in an attempt to hide her smile as she looked ahead at the group of cheerleaders getting ready for their routine. Steve didn't argue back, knowing his friend was only telling the truth. Besides, he was an asshole just now so he totally deserved it.
The group noticed you finished talking with your friends and immediately scanned the crowd in hopes to spot Eddie. As soon as you did, your eyes light up as you wave at him, a gesture he immediately replied. You knew he hated basketball games, but he made the effort just to see you and be there with you.
The game was about to start, so you and the rest of the cheerleaders begin your routine to hype everyone up before the players joined everyone at the gym. Nancy looked at Eddie just in time to see him beginning to clap and cheer you on, and she immediately smiled to herself. She has never seen her friend this happy. Like, genuinely happy. Not just pretending to always be on a good mood ready to throw a fun little comment here and there, but actually feeling like life was good because he had you by his side.
Robin, who was standing with the band just a few rows below them, turned back to look at them and pointed at you excitedly, almost as if she saw a celebrity, already being able to identify you as Eddie's new girlfriend. She gave Eddie a thumbs up in sign of approval before turning back and wait for their moment to join in with the music.
..
After the game, you tried to be as quick as possible to get all your stuff ready to walk outside the school to meet Eddie. He said he would be waiting for you by the parking lot, already giving you the heads up that he wanted you to finally meet his friends.
It was weird to you at first that his group of best friends, aside from all the people that conform the Hellfire Club, were none other that Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley. This quartet has to be the most random combination of people you could ever create, and yet they were important enough for Eddie to want you to meet them and introduce you as his girlfriend.
You can't deny you were a little bit nervous, because you've never spoken to any of them. You kinda knew Robin because she's in school with you, but you've never interacted with Nancy and Steve. Like, at all. And since they are your boyfriend's best friends, you really wanted them to like you.
"Hi, sorry it took me so long, guys!" you quickly excused yourself, flashing a smile to the entire group in front of you. "It's nice to finally meet you all!" you added excitedly, leaning into Eddie when he wrapped an arm around you.
"Hi! I don't know if you've seen me around school...probably not– uh, you probably had absolutely no idea I existed until today," Robin was the first one to talk, obviously her own brain failing her as she once again found herself talking way too fast.
"No, no. Of course I know who you are," you replied. "I've seen you when you guys practice at the gym before the games," you replied. "And I think we have almost every class together."
"Holy shit, really? You actually know who I am?"
"Robin," Eddie warned. Robin quickly figured out that was her queue to stop talking.
You chuckled at what just happened, "You guys were great today, by the way."
"Whoa, I...uh, thanks!" she replied, genuinely surprised by how nice you actually are, which immediately made the group understand a little better why you're dating Eddie. "And the cheers were awesome, as always. You guys are just...fantastic, really."
"Thanks. I did today's routine so it's really nice to know you liked it."
"That's amazing, it was really good!" Nancy said this time, extending out her hand for you. "I'm Nancy."
"Oh, I already know all of your names," you confessed a bit shyly, shaking her hand.
"It's nice to finally meet you. Eddie talks a lot about you," she added.
"He does?" you asked, looking up at Eddie with a grin while he avoided to look at you to spare himself from getting teased by you.
"I'm not sure about the a lot part..."
"You won't shut up about her, dude," Steve cuts him off. "Guy's nuts about you."
"Really? Because he said he just told you that we were dating."
"Well, then he was clearly lying because it was the three of us that helped him build the courage to ask you on a date."
"Can we talk about something else?" Eddie intervened, clearly embarrassed.
"You and me have to continue this conversation some other day," you said to Steve.
"Sure, I'm always available to piss him off."
"Are you her friend or mine?"
Steve gave him a look, grinning before replying, "Honesty I like her better already." Eddie and Steve laughed at their little exchange, but before any of you could say anything else another cheer walked outside the school.
"Ah, there you are!" she said directly at you. "We're at the gym about to take a photo with the basketball team for the yearbook!"
"Okay, I'll be right there," you quickly told her before she politely smiled to the group you were with before walking back inside. You turned to look at Eddie immediately, "I'm sorry."
"It's fine, go," he quickly reassured you. "Your duties as head cheerleader call," he added sarcastically, making you chuckle.
"Stop doing that!" you replied. He always made fun of you for your status at school, which you found hilarious because the two of you disliked the whole idea that being popular suddenly made you better than other people. As if high school means anything after you graduate. "I'm really sorry, guys."
"Don't worry, we should go find the kids to take them home anyway," Steve said, looking around him in hope to find at least one of those little devils.
"I don't think we're all gonna fit in your car, though," Nancy commented.
"Yeah, but Eddie can drop some of them off, right?" Steve asked, to which Eddie replied with a nod. "Great. In that case Robin, Nance, Mike and Lucas go with me. Dustin and Max go with you."
"Got it," Eddie nodded after his instruction.
"I'll be back soon," you said to him, since he was also giving you a ride home and you didn't want him and those two kids waiting for you for too long. "And again, it's been great meeting you guys. We should hang out sometime."
"Totally!" Robin agreed. "I think we're all free this Friday."
"Yeah, Friday sounds great," Nancy also agreed.
"I'll see you on Friday, then," you smiled at the three of them, giving Eddie a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back to the school's doors. "I'll be back as soon as possible!"
With that said, you rushed back inside the school to head to the gym for the photo. When you were gone, Eddie looked at his friends to see what they thought. "So?"
"She's great, man," Steve was the first one to answer. "Totally not what I was expecting. She's nicer than I thought."
"Yeah, me too," agreed Robin shortly after. "I have to admit I was terrified of her at first, but she's very nice! If you ever break up with her I'm going to hate you forever."
"Believe me, I don't plan to do that."
"I'm happy you found someone, Eddie," Nancy said this time. "You look genuinely happy around her and you truly deserve to have someone that cares so much about you."
"Aw, don't get all soppy on me, Wheeler," he teased, thought appreciated his friend's words, pulling her in for a hug.
"A thank you would've been better," she commented with a smile, returning the hug.
"Oh, oh!" Robin exclaimed. "This never happen between us! We never hug. Does this mean we can hug?"
"Nope. Just us," Eddie quickly clarified, pulling away from Nancy shortly after.
"Ah, don't be like that, Munson!" Steve said, immediately wrapping his arms around his friend so he wouldn't escape. Eddie tried to push him back, but there was nothing he can do when Robin joined the hug too, making it impossible for him to set himself free.
"Yay, we're hugging!" Robin says with obvious excitement. "Join us, Nance!"
Nancy rolled her eyes, but joined them anyway, sharing a group hug that only lasted a few seconds. As soon as they were backing down, Eddie took a step away from them, as if he didn't enjoy hugging his three best friends (truth is, he did).
"Hey, weirdos!" they heard Dustin calling out for them, all of the kids standing outside of Steve's car. "Can we go now?"
Steve, Nancy and Robin walked towards them. Lucas was there with them, which meant all of you were done with the yearbook photo. Just as that thought was crossing Eddie's mind, he noticed you walked out of the school again, walking over him to grab his hand.
"Henderson, Red!" he called, both Dustin and Max turning around to look at him. "I'm driving you home, let's go!"
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streamafterlaughter · 2 years
Text
New Kid
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Chapter VI: Midterms
MASTERLIST || chapter V || playlist
summary: You spend the week pining for Eddie, as you’ve agreed to a deal you wish you could take back.
tags: eddie munson x reader, gn!nb!afab!reader, impossibly slow burn (next chapter kids ;)), violence, language, mutual pining, yearning, fluff, angst, trauma bonding
a/n: the wait is almost over, next chapter things get GOOD. thank you guys for reading, it means so much to me that i’m seeing y’all enjoy it. Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated.
Eddie’s POV
He hasn’t stopped replaying the scene in his head. Taking you by the wrist in a fleeting act of confidence, hoisting you up in the air like they do in romantic movies, feeling your lips part in a smile against his own, freezing in the rain to the point of near numbness, it all feels too good to be true. But surely enough, as he steps into the living room, your clothes now warm and dry in his hands, you’re there on his couch, this time wearing his Hellfire shirt, clicking through TV channels as you munch on microwave popcorn. If he could freeze this moment in time, keep you both there forever.
“I’ll have to make you one of your own.” Eddie tugs at his shirtsleeve on you as he sits down, kicking his feet up on the coffee table next to you. He places your clothes in a neat pile on your lap, and you give them a disappointed frown. “What’s up?” He asks, noticing your expression.
“Nothing, I’m okay. Just stressed about this week, I guess. Didn’t really get much studying done.”
“Ah, screw studying, we had an adventure this weekend.” Eddie doesn’t truly mean that, he needs these midterm grades to graduate, but he wouldn’t have done a thing differently this weekend.
It’s as if you read his mind. “No, Eddie, we need to focus. I know you want out of this place, no matter how well you think you’re hiding it.” You’re right, he’d rather not die in a town that hates him. “I know if we keep spending time together, we aren’t gonna pass. We have to keep our distance from each other until Friday.”
Eddie snaps his head up to see if you’re joking. He’s met with your furrowed brow and pursed lips, deep in thought. “You can’t be serious.”
“Do you have a better idea? Because I’d love one right now. Look, it’s only five days, we’ll start tonight and we’ll reconfigure on Friday after school,” You've seemingly thought all of this out, but when did you have the time? “I don’t want to be the reason you’re held back again. I wanna be the first person you run to waving that passing grade in your hands.” You look him dead in the eyes, each word etching itself into his bones.
“Do I get a treat if I pass?” He teases, wanting to make every second he has until tonight count.
“Whatever you want, pretty boy.” He leans in to kiss you, but instead of connecting your lips, you press a finger to his. “On Friday.”
“This is bullshit.” He huffs, crossing his arms in an exaggerated display of disapproval. You take advantage of his position, leaning to whisper into his ear, “You’ll get a lot more if you behave.” Before slipping off the couch to change. Eddie sits frozen, your breath raising the hairs on the back of his neck, and he has to fight for it not to erect anything else.
Your POV
Eddie drives you home at eight o’clock despite his objections to your plan. You hate it too, but you need, desperately, to get yourself back on track before vacation. This is the only way, you know in your heart, that you’ll be able to focus solely on school, if you and Eddie don’t hang out until the end of the week. How cruel, you think, to let yourself have something so sweet, so perfect, only to immediately have to shove him away.
Eddie walks you up the front stairs, pausing at the door. “Guess this is where you get off.” He says sadly, but you take the opportunity to joke,
“No, that’s for after midterms.”
You can’t help but giggle at your own immaturity, your laugh ringing through the quiet evening like a bird song.
Eddie takes one more step up, making his face level with yours. “God I hope so.” His voice drips with desire, and you’re ready to risk it all and drop your pants right there on the front steps of your home. Instead, you offer, “One for the road?”
Eddie takes the final step up, and you’re pulled into him like two magnets finding each other. You kiss him deeply, like you’re moving away and saying goodbye forever, because this week is gonna feel like an eternity. You can feel his urgency in the kiss too, his hands clasped behind your back, holding your body to his own. Your hands clutch either side of his face, afraid if you let go he might vanish.
“You know I’ll see you in English, right?” He reminds you, breaking the kiss for air.
You roll your eyes, “It’s not the same now, knowing how you taste.”
Even in the dark, you can tell he’s blushing at your words. “I’ll see you.” He says, giving you a final kiss on the nose.
“See you.” You watch as he turns down the walk way, gets into his van, and vanishes from sight.
-
“Jesus Christ!” Your parents are standing huddled behind the front door as you enter. “Were you there this whole time?!” You love them, but your parents can get overly excited at your social life when it seems to be going well.
“Just long enough to watch you watch him walk away.” Your mom teases, bringing you in for a hug. “You could have let him in, we would’ve made sure not to be here.”
“I know. We’re trying this thing though where we don’t become codependent after already spending an entire weekend together.” You drop into your chair at the dinner table, already missing Eddie in the most pathetic way.
“That’s silly!” Your dad chimes in. “I couldn’t keep my hands off your mom when I met her. Still can’t,” he gives an exaggerated wink to your mom, who giggles back at him.
“Ugh, you guys are gross. Look, we both need to pass midterms if we wanna graduate, and we’re only gonna distract each other. So we aren’t seeing each other until Friday.”
“When did you get so mature?” Your dad jokes, backhanding you lightly in the arm.
“I guess when I decided I wanted a future.”
“I’m proud of you, kiddo. And if Eddie’s worth anything, he’ll be right there waiting for you on Friday.”
You desperately want this to be true. It isn’t any sort of game, you really do need to study, but in a sick way you want this week to be difficult for him. You want to be at the forefront of Eddie’s brain, the same way he’s been at yours since you watched him on that dingy stage.
Alright, I’m gonna go do some cramming before my Bio exam tomorrow, goodnight parents.” You pull yourself out from your chair, and drag your feet towards the stairs.
“Oh, honey! Robin called, she wanted to know if you were alright after whatever happened on Friday. I hooked your phone line up today, if you want to call her back.”
“Okay!” You call, already halfway up the stairs.
You dial Robin’s number, and she picks up on the second ring. “Buckley residence, may I ask who’s calling?”
“Hey, Robin! It’s Y/N.”
“Oh my god, Y/N, I thought you were dead!” Her voice brightens when she hears you.
“That’s a little dramatic, I’m totally fine! More than fine, really.” You bite your lip, wondering how much of this you can share with Robin.
“What’re they saying?” You hear in the distance on Robin’s end.
“Sh, dingus, they haven’t said anything yet.”
“Is that Steve?”
Robin's attention turns back to you, “Yeah, sorry, we just got out of work, he’s here to help me study. I would’ve asked you, but you weren’t home when I called. Figured you were… busy.” You don’t miss the suggestion she’s making. You laugh directly into the receiver, “Har, har. If you must know, I was with Eddie.”
“I knew it! Tell. me. everything.”
You feel like every tween must, kicking your feet back and forth as you gossip to your friend about your new crush. “Well, we kissed.”
“Yeah, like days ago, right? Pretty sure we walked in on that.”
“No, actually, not until today. A couple hours ago…”
“Wait, seriously?” It’s Steve again, listening to the two of you. “He’s been all over you from day one and somehow resisted kissing you until today? Doesn’t sound like Eddie.”
“Steve, shut up. Anyway, what was it like?!”
“I don’t kiss and tell!”
“Well you should! I’m living vicariously through your romantic endeavors!”
“Fine, but tell Steve to stop listening first.”
You vaguely hear Robin shoo Steve from the room. “Okay, go on.”
“Well,” You start from Friday, the emotional tension between you two after the party, the nightmare he comforted you from, the Hellfire meeting, “Wait, he invited you to Hellfire?! Boys got the bug, bad.” You tell her about Sunday, about how you thought he was rejecting you, only to give you the most cliche first kiss you ever could have imagined. You go into detail about the way he looks at you, how you feel like you could explode from gazing into his eyes for too long. Robin listens to every word, chiming in with commentary when she feels so inclined. By the end of your story, your brain is full of nothing but Eddie, and there is absolutely no hope for you studying tonight.
“Ugh, I envy your love. Maybe when you’re done teasing your boyfriend you could be my wingman!” You chuckle, promising her you’ll take her to every lesbian bar from here to Boston you can find. “I’ll hold you to that, y’know.” And you say your good nights before hanging up.
-
Eddie’s POV
It’s the last thing he wants to do, but Eddie pulls his English notes from his backpack after returning home. Wayne is cooking hamburgers on the stove, and Eddie sits in the living room, straining to read his chicken scratch when all he wants to do is call you.
“How’s your weekend?” Wayne asks, a hint in his voice, egging him into talking about you, though he would probably have without the help.
“Unbelievable, really.”
“Y/N seems like a good kid,” his uncle muses, “Don’t screw it up.” Wayne isn't an emotional guy, but he loves his nephew like his own. He saw what a life of rebellion got his brother, and he doesn’t want any of it for Eddie.
“Thanks for the advice.” Eddie mumbles dryly, skimming through the useless pages of his notebook. He really should’ve asked you for yours before leaving, but it was the furthest thing from his mind.
“I’m sorry, kid. Look, you’re smart, but you’re impulsive. You do a lot of stupid shit. I don’t want you doing something you’ll regret. Something tells me Y/N won’t put up with your antics the way your friends do.”
He’s probably right. You’re sure of yourself, comfortable enough in your skin to turn away from anyone that jeopardizes that, and he’s not willing to test that theory.
“Hence, I’m here studying, and not in their bed.” Eddie gestures to his display of study guides, exasperated. Wayne nods, sliding Eddie his burger on a flimsy paper plate. “Atta boy, I’m proud of you.” He pats Eddie on the shoulder before making his way to the recliner across the room. “They must be something special if they got you studying.”
“You have no idea.”
Your POV
Your alarm rouses you from dreaming about Eddie’s lips on yours, and you groan before whacking the snooze button. It’s gonna be a long fucking week without him, and English might as well be a death sentence, having to sit right next to him, his presence teasing you like a drop of water after a years long drought.
You’re not in the mood to put effort into your outfit, it’s gray and gloomy outside, so you dress to match the weather, wearing the Metallica shirt Eddie left on your floor, big baggy jeans, and a pair of black vans from your days of skating, a hole in the left big toe.
“Good mornin’, sweet child o’ mine!” Your mother sings as you drag your groggy body downstairs. “Good luck with everything, hon, I’m sure you’ll do great!”
“Thanks, Mama, I need everyone I can get to root for me this week.”
Your mother furrows her brow at you, resting her elbows on the kitchen counter. “What’s up, buttercup?” She hasn’t called you that in years.
“So, you met Eddie. Before I begin, what do you think?”
“About Eddie? I didn’t really get a chance to know him, with everything else that happened on Saturday. I do know I’ve never seen you so happy around someone like that before. So I like that he does that for you.”
“We kissed last night.”
“For the first time? I could’ve sworn you two were already in the throes of a romance by the time you let us meet him.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?!”
“Sorry! You two have so much chemistry, forgive my misguided assumption!” Your mother rolls her eyes teasingly, and you can't help but laugh. She’s right, neither of you had really attempted to mask your feelings in front of your parents.
“Anyway, I told him we couldn’t see each other until midterms are over, and I think it's already bitten me in the ass.”
“Nah, you’d already been bitten by then. Trust me, I get it. When I met your father, he was all I ate, slept, and breathed for the first year of our relationship.”
“We aren’t even in a relationship!”
“Oh god, honey, you’re screwed.” Your mother laughs, a light and gentle giggle that you desperately wish you’d inherited, instead of your father’s wheeze.
“Bye, Mom!” You’re done with this conversation. You swipe a granola bar from the counter, and leave for school.
Eddie’s POV
“So…?” Dustin pokes and prods at Eddie as he slides into the passenger seat.
“Good morning to you too, Henderson.” Eddie gives the kid a rough pat on the head.
“Good morning, Eddie! Did you get any last night?”
“I don’t know why you guys think it’s okay to ask me that shit.”
“Because you’re an adult, we’re curious, feeble minded children, and we want to hear about our Dungeon Master’s affairs.” Dustin is confident this will win him an anecdote about Eddie’s weekend with you.
“Look, we’re taking things slow for now. We like each other, I kissed them last night—“ This earns a gasp from Dustin, “But we aren’t together, yet. We have to pass midterms first, so we’re giving it a week.”
“That is the stupidest thing I think you've ever said.” Dustin states simply, causing Eddie to hit his brake a little too hard.
“What are you talking about?”
“You think you’re the only one interested in Y/N? I heard maybe three, four separate people talk about them Friday alone, and that was before the party. Can't imagine who’ll try to weasel in once they see you’re not there with them.”
“What are you, twelve? What do you know?”
“I’m fourteen, asshole, and I happen to have a steady girlfriend that I love and cherish deeply!”
Eddie rolls his eyes, Dustin’s got him there. “It was their idea.”
Dustin’s eyes widen. “Oh, so they don’t want any distractions then?”
“I guess they’re falling behind in a few classes, can't help moving in the middle of the semester.”
“I guess.” Dustin shrugs, “Just, be careful, okay? I like Y/N, but that doesn’t mean I won't go head to head with them if they hurt you.”
Eddie throws his arm around Dustin’s shoulder. “Thanks, big guy.”
Your POV
“Hey!” Robin greets you at your locker, and you find yourself relieved having someone else to focus on for a while. “How do you feel about the test? I could barely read my study guides so I have no hope currently.”
You shrug, “I did what I could, it is out of my hands now. We have English tomorrow, I’m even less ready for that.”
“I thought English was your best subject.”
You sigh, of course the topic of conversation would already come back to Eddie. “He’s in my class, we sit right next to each other. How am I supposed to write an essay on freaking Huckleberry Finn when every other thought out of my brain is Eddie?!”
“We can go to the library after school, study a bit, I'll pretend to be Eddie to train you.”
You throw your head back in a fit of laughter, just as Eddie’s walking down the hall past you. “Robin, Y/N.” He winks at you, throwing your equilibrium off immediately.
Robin snorts, “You won't last a week.”
“Hey, fuck you!”
“That’s for Eddie to do, baby.” Robin pulls you with her down the hall, a toothy grin on her lips.
“Oh, my god! Enough about me, do you have any prospects? Steve told me about his thing for you and how he, well he misread that whole situation.”
Robin shakes her head at the memory. “Yeah, that was definitely something, but in the great scheme of what was going on with us at that point, our feelings were the last thing on my mind. As of right now, though, no one’s really caught my eye.”
You smirk at her. “Nancy seems kind of into you.”
“Wheeler?!” Robin comes to a halt. “No, no way. Not only is she the straightest straight girl I’ve ever met, but she also has a boyfriend out in LA, and she’s Steve’s ex!”
“Shit, you’re right, that all sounds really messy and not my business. How about we go out some time over vacation, try to get you out there a little bit? Steve, Eddie, Nancy?”
Robin gives you a sad smile. “If you can figure out a way for all of us to hang out together without it being entirely too weird, you let me know.” She gives your shoulder a pat. “Well, this is my stop! I do like your idea, seriously. Let’s try planning something at lunch?” You nod, and she squeezes your hand as a goodbye. You can’t help but wonder what she means, why it would be so awkward between the five of you.
—-
Eddie’s POV
He debates skipping his third period. He knows math well enough not to need his review period, but he knows you’d scold him for ditching. He drags his feet, knowing you’re about to emerge from the classroom down the hall. maybe he can cheat, get a quick kiss in before the bell.
He catches your eyes when you come out of class, and the panic in your face is undeniable. His face falls, and you’re quick to pivot on your toes, taking the long way to your next class. Eddie can't help it, he's absolutely crushed at your decision, though he admires your strength. He likes to tell himself its strength, trying not to let Dustin’s words get to him. That kiss meant something for you the same way it did for Eddie, it had to.
“Hey.” Robin collapses next to Eddie, not across the room in her normal seat. “We need to talk.”
Eddie and Robin had been fast friends. Beyond both loving the hell out of Dustin Henderson, Eddie isn't sure he has anything in common with her, but somehow they clicked freshman year, when their band instructor had scolded them for talking too much.
“Since when?”
“Since Y/N came up with a brilliant idea to go for a night on the town this weekend.”
“This is the first I’m hearing of this.”
“Which is why I’m telling you, because you two are being so fucking weird and ignoring each other until Friday, so you won’t have time to emotionally prepare. Or, not prepare. So I’m giving you that time to decide what you want to do.”
“Are you telling me to reject them?” Here it comes, the reality check he’s been watching out for. Robin has feelings for you, too, and how is he supposed to compete with something so stinking cute?
“No, I'm giving you an out. Steve and Nancy will be there, and I don’t know your history in great detail, but I know you three kind of go back a little, I don’t mean to pry—“
“Steve and I were kids. He was a fucking asshole. I'm over it, really.”
“Okay, ‘cause if he finds out you’re coming he's gonna make a dramatic scene of trying to overcorrect.”
“Let him, it’s the least he can do after what he put me through.” The final bell rings, silencing the classroom into a study hall. Eddie brings his voice to a whisper, “You think he’d fuck with Y/N? ‘Cause I’d kinda like to see him try.”
Robin rolls her eyes. “Look, I know you’re not the biggest fan of Harrington, I get it. I wasn't either for the longest time. But he’s grown up a lot. I think you should give him a chance.” Eddie can't help rolling his eyes. She continues, back tracking, “I know that’s selfish, but now that you’re falling in love with my new friend and taking yet another prospect away from me with your devilish looks, no pun intended, I should be able to ask you to behave. I promise to mention the same to Steve.” Robin holds up three fingers in a Girl Scout’s honor.
“I’m sorry to have stolen a potential mate from a friend so dear to me, I really had no idea. Lest you know, ‘tis not in vain.” He’s hinting at kissing you, and Robin plays along,
“Oh, pray tell, what do you allude to?”
“I kissed them on Saturday.” Eddie’s face goes deep red, and suddenly the heat in the classroom must be working because he feels the need to shed his three layers of jackets.
“Yeah? What was that like?”
Eddie doesn’t want to tell her the truth, that he fucked up and couldn’t do it at first, that he made you cry before he could even touch your lips to his. “It was… exactly what you’d expect from someone like them. Magical, dramatic, definitely something I could write albums about.” Eddie muses, much to Robin’s enjoyment. She loves love, and seeing a close friend fall in love is unlike anything else. She does, however, know that hes not telling her everything.
“Fuckin’ liar.” She hisses, backhanding him in the chest. “They told me everything. You laughed at them.”
“Where is this disloyalty coming from?”
“A place of love, Eddie. You need to work on your game or you’re getting left in the dust.”
At this point, a classmate turns from his seat and spits, “Shh!”
Eddie lowers his voice, “Trust me, I am well aware of the situation. They’re out of my league, and I am out of training, but god help me if they’re not mine by the end of this week.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so serious about someone before.”
“I’ve never felt this seriously about someone before.”
“Good. Prove it.” Robin turns back to her book, demonstrating the end of the conversation.
Your POV
The bell rings for lunch, and everything inside you wants to sprint in the opposite direction. Even though you don’t sit with Eddie, you are constantly aware of his presence. Today is no different, as you sit at your table with Robin. Behind her, you can see Eddie, almost completely unobstructed save for Robin’s head, moving into your field of vision. “You okay in there?”
“Is it that obvious?” You let your head fall into your palm as your elbow rests on the table.
“More than obvious. Go talk to him!”
“I cant do that! He deserves to be able to—“ You pause, letting the scene taking place behind Robin take your focus. You cant hear over the buzz of the cafeteria, but you can see what’s happening perfectly. Eddie is talking to a girl. A pretty girl, smaller than you in height and stature, wearing a Hawkins Tigers cheerleading uniform. Eddie’s looking at her with his stupid, toothy smile, the same one he gives you, and looks deeply into her face as she responds. You feel your palms start to sweat when Eddie looks behind the girl, his eyes meeting with yours for the briefest second, before he looks away and laughs at whatever this charming, cute girl is telling him.
“Y/N?” Robin snaps you out of your inner turmoil. “What’s happening, why are you crying?” She sounds far away, her voice muffled like she’s talking to you from rooms away. You hadn’t realized you were crying until she tells you, and you quickly wipe the wetness from your face.
“I’m okay.” You sniffle. Robin takes it upon herself to turn around, spotting Eddie and the girl still shooting the shit. “Oh, no, Y/N.” Robin doesn’t know how to comfort you, which makes it worse.
“Who… who is she?”
“That is Chrissy Cunningham, head cheerleader and girlfriend of Jason Carver, last time I checked. She and Eddie have known each other for ages, fifth grade I think. Im sure that’s nothing, she’s probably buying drugs!” Robin rushes to comfort you.
“Yeah, she looks like the type.” You respond dryly at Robins feeble attempt at soothing your worries.
Eddie’s POV
“Chrissy, you know I’d rather stick my foot in a bear trap than go to a party thrown by Jason Carver.” Eddie crosses his arms over his chest, looking down at the cheerleader with pity. He likes Chrissy, and he knows she’d be cool with him going, but he can't justify taking the risk that Jason will give him shit. Besides, he has better things going on on Friday.
“Yes, I know, but it’s good money. They asked me to pull strings because you trust me.”
“No. I have plans that night.” He chances looking at you again, and finds Robin embracing you as your body heaves up and down. You’re crying, gripping Robin with all your might, and he desperately wishes to trade places with her. Did you see them? Had you been watching them, and assumed the worst?
Chrissy snaps in front of his eyes, turning his attention back to her. “You have plans? What kind of plans?” She elbows him teasingly. Usually, he and Chrissy are friendly, but he’s too concerned with you to participate.
“I have a date. I can sell you some before the party, but I'm not going.”
Chrissy pouts, but gives up trying. “Whoever it is, they’re awfully lucky.” She skips away, leaving his view of you unblocked. He can't help watching you, as Robin hands you a flimsy napkin to wipe your tears with, rubbing your back as your breathing relaxes. He feels his chest tighten, feeling like he caused this. You don’t know Chrissy, or her relationship to Eddie, and he can't help shaking his head at your misunderstanding. Chrissy wouldn’t dare flirt with Eddie, not with Jason on her heels at all times. Even if she had, you’re absolutely insane to think he’d choose her when he’s got a chance with you. He thinks it’s sweet, almost, that you think he’s desirable enough for the head cheerleader.
Your POV
Eddie’s already in his seat when you’ve slothed your way to class. It’s almost like he recognizes your footsteps, looking up to meet your eyes as you enter. You have stopped crying now, keeping your mouth a thin line to stifle any aftershocks, slinking down in your seat next to him, as close to the edge that you can manage.
“Okay class,” Mrs. O’Donnell relieves the tension briefly, “I am giving you today as an independent study period. Our midterm is tomorrow, and some of you,” she pauses, making eye contact with a few specific students, including Eddie, “still need more time. I will be grading papers if you have any questions. Please, do not waste this time, and absolutely no talking.” She takes her seat behind her desk, and the room shuffles with the noises of papers being pulled out of folders. You reach for your book, and when you sit back up, there’s a scrap of paper on your desk. You look from the folded piece to Eddie. He isn't looking at you, focusing intensely on his book, reading what is definitely the wrong chapter.
You unfold the note. “U OK?” written in Eddie’s same blue pen.
You click your own pen, deciding to humor him. “Fine.”
“Don’t seem fine.” He doesn’t bother hiding as he writes back, watching as you open it.
“Don’t worry about me. Study.” You slide the note back, and click your pen closed. He rolls his eyes, but goes back to his study guide. You chew on your bottom lip as your eyes blur with tears again. You’re not okay, and you can't tell the one person you want to tell. All you want is to hear that it was nothing, that she’s an old friend, or wanted to buy drugs, or something else that could assuage the jealousy you never knew you could harbor. You can't justify feeling like this, Eddie isn't even your partner. He has every right to talk to girls.
The rest of class is tense, you can feel the heat radiating as Eddie bounces his leg. You want to drag your desk over to him, place a comforting hand on his thigh, ease his mind of any anxiety. You’re not upset with him, you’re upset with yourself. You have always had trust issues, but Eddie isn’t yours to distrust.
When the bell rings, you practically throw yourself from your seat, stumbling slightly as you escape from the room before Eddie has the chance to follow you.
Eddie’s POV
He watches as you bolt from the classroom, a sigh escaping his lips. He fights every urge to run after you, track you down, and pull you into the biggest, safest hug you've ever received. He so badly wants you to know you’ve been the only thing on his mind, that even just today has felt like the most difficult year of his life. Every class so far has been met with daydreaming, of running into you in the halls, approaching your locker between classes, dragging you out of class to make out in the bathroom.
When the final bell rings at 2:30, he feels the tension in his muscles subside. He exits the building to the senior parking lot, where he spots you smoking a cigarette next to his van. His heart pounds, a lump forming in his throat. As he approaches, though, you catch him, turning on your heel to your own car. Eddie stops in his tracks to watch you walk away, and once again fights the voice in his head telling him to follow you.
When he reaches the van, there’s a note taped to his windshield. He rips it off, inspecting the stationary, your handwriting scrawled across it reading, “One down.”
“Four to go.” Eddie says aloud to himself, shaking his head. He flips it over and reads, “Call me tonight. 7:30.”
His breath catches. You want to talk to him? “The things I do…” He gets into his van, immediately searching for a specific tape. When he finds it, he plugs it in and cranks it as loud as it’ll go: Oh yeah! Some people say my love cannot be true. Please believe me, my love, and I’ll show you. I will give you those things you thought unreal; The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal… Eddie peels out of the parking lot, screaming at the top of his lungs to relieve the stress he’d built up over the second half of the day.
Your POV
You stomp back into the building, stubbing your cigarette out on the brick of the building. You’re not in the mood to study, you really just want to go home, lie down, and probably cry for a good six hours, but you aren’t one to flake on your friends.
Robin waves you over to a table in the corner, where she’s spread out index cards, highlighters, and plenty of erasers. “Hi.” You say, tasting the sour mood on your tongue.
“Hey, grumpy.” Robin says lightly, sliding her seat over to make room for you next to her. “How did uh… everything go in English today?”
“As well as it could have, I guess. We had a silent study period, so it made not talking to him a little easier. He tried passing me notes. Asked me if I was okay.”
“Well, that’s a good sign, right? He’s thinking about you still.”
You roll your eyes, “Can we maybe not talk about him right now? I have four days left of this stupid shit, I’d rather just keep plugging along than confront my feelings.”
“As much as I disagree with you, fine. But I promise, you have nothing to worry about. In all the years I’ve known him, Eddie has never been one to give up on someone he cares about. On top of that, I have never, and I mean never, seen him so taken with someone. You have no idea how special you are to him.” Robin takes your hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze.
You squeeze hers back in thanks before responding, “Thank you. I guess I’m just not used to mattering to someone. I was fully ready to believe he had started moving on.” You shake your head at yourself. “I’m never this emotional, not about stuff like this. I’ve never felt like this about someone.”
“Y/N, I know you’re gonna tell me its way too soon for this, but I’m pretty sure that’s what love is.”
“Absolutely not!” Your outburst is met with a look of warning from the librarian, who’d been putting books back behind you.
“It’s not a bad thing!” Robin hushes voice back to a whisper. “And I’m more than certain its reciprocated.”
You want so badly to believe her, but you find it hard to believe that you’re special to anyone, let alone someone like Eddie. You drop the subject, easing your mind with the dullness of Huck Finn. It’s not your favorite, but you retained enough of it when you read it last year. Maybe you can help Eddie over the phone, maybe it’ll be easier if he’s not so close to you. If he doesn’t call, you’ll take it as a sign that it was all too good to be true.
Eddie’s POV
He stares at his watch intently as the seconds tick by. 7:01. He’s sitting by his landline, English notes in hand trying to bring himself to look at them. Even if he could bring himself to read, he wouldn’t retain anything on the page. His mind races with scenarios of what you could want to talk about. Chrissy is his first thought. He imagines explaining what had happened, easing any worry you could have, comforting you only with the sound of his voice. Maybe it’s not that, though. He runs through the possibilities. Studying, maybe. Or, perhaps it’s a loophole in your own plan. This way you can talk to him without an impact on your grades. His mind eventually digs deeper, into a more devilish place in his mind.
Eddie imagines you in your bed, a clear image now that he’s been in your room. Your comforter is draped across your middle, one hand underneath it while the other holds the phone to your ear. On the other line, Eddie whispers sweet nothings to you. Asks what you’re wearing, if you could take some of it off. He’d tell you what to do, how to touch yourself to the sound of his voice. He’d listen to you whine on the other end, your breathing heavy as you beg him to come.
Shit. Eddie can feel the tent in his pants, and he looks back at his watch. 7:05. He figures he had enough time to take care of everything, but as he moves to get up from the couch when the phone rings.
Shit! There’s no way it’s you. “Munson Residence, Eddie speaking.” Eddie deadpans, expecting a telemarketer selling encyclopedia volumes.
“Hey.” It’s you. Fucking Christ.
“Hi. I thought you said 7:30?” He can’t help smiling, hearing the sound of your voice for the first time in 24 hours.
“I did, I definitely did. I uh, got home earlier than I thought I would.”
“Oh, sure. Totally. What’s up?” Eddie leans against the wall, cupping the phone between his ear and his shoulder.
“Well. I couldn’t help but notice you trying to study today. I thought maybe we could study like this? Help each other out before tomorrow?”
Eddie snorts into the receiver. “Are you serious? Or did you want to hear my voice so badly you made that up?” He’s getting cocky, but he has a feeling you’re not gonna hang up.
“It isn’t not that,” You say, and he can hear your smile behind the words. “But I know English is not your favorite, and I want to help. Plus I know you can’t read your notes.” You’ve got him there.
“Fine, we can study, I guess, but after that, we have to have a real conversation. It’s only fair.”
There’s a pause, as you consider his offer. “Deal.”
Your POV
The clock next to your bed beeps, 8:00. You’d been surprisingly focused on studying for the last hour, quizzing Eddie on the themes and plot of Huckleberry Finn. “You seem to get it a little better than when we started,” you observe, slowly shifting away from your text. “I guess you deserve a break. What did you want to talk about?”
Eddie hesitates, and you can hear him breathing into the receiver. “I wanted to know what happened today at lunch.” You can feel yourself go cold, did he see you crying?
“What do you mean?”
“You were upset. I saw you hugging Robin, wiping your eyes. I wanted to check on you sooner, but I also want to respect your boundaries this week. We said we wouldn’t talk at school, and I didn’t know about the phone loophole.” He chuckles.
“Oh, god, you saw that? No, no I’m totally fine. Nothing to worry about.” You try to shut him down but he persists.
“That is so not true. What happened, sweetheart?”
You groan, letting the pet name sink into your bones. “This is embarrassing.”
“You have no reason to be embarrassed around me, Y/N. Please just tell me what happened. Did I have anything to do with it?”
It’s your turn to hesitate, while you wonder if you should even bother telling him. You decide honesty is the best policy. “Yeah, you could say that. I just got stupidly jealous for a second. Which isn’t fair to you. I saw you talking to that cheerleader, Chrissy, and I guess I kinda freaked out.”
“That’s awfully flattering, thinking Chrissy would want anything to do with me.”
You roll your eyes, “Please, could you stop underestimating your likability. Everyone that’s ever met you, loves you. I’ve heard that firsthand.”
He scoffs, but makes his voice soft, gentle. “It’s still impossible to believe you’d be jealous of Chrissy.”
“Why wouldn’t I be? She’s everything you could possibly want! Pretty, popular, kind, I don’t see how that’s a stretch.”
“Sure, she’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with Chrissy. But she’s not you. She’s not even close.”
Your cheeks feel hot, your mouth dry as your heart rate jumps. “Isn’t that a good thing? That she’s nothing like me?”
There’s a tense pause as Eddie thinks through what to say next. “It’s a great thing that she’s not like you. No one is. Makes it that much clearer you’re the only one I want. The only person I’ve had the capacity to think about since meeting you. It’s paralyzing, even, the way I feel about you.”
“I hope you know that feeling is mutual, pretty boy.” It’s not much, you can’t begin to put your feelings for Eddie into words. But you hope he gets the point for now.
“It’s nice to hear it anyway.”
Eddie’s POV
There’s a knock on his door then. Not much of a knock, more like an angry slamming against the screen. “Hold on, baby. It looks like I have company.” He places the phone on the counter, receiver up so you know he’s still there. Eddie saunters to the front door, ready to reprimand whoever has the gaul to interrupt his conversation with you.
It’s a red faced, shaking Jason Carver. “What do you want?” Eddie crosses his arms over his chest, bracing for another fist fight.
“Don’t you ever talk to Chrissy again, you hear me?”
“She talked to me, dude. Told me you gave her permission,” he spits the word, disgusted with Jason’s power over his friends and girlfriend. “Told me you wanted to party. I said no.”
“Shut up. She would never do that, never want anything to do with you. Understand? Don’t talk to her, look at her, even think about her, or I’ll fuck you and your bitch up.”
He can talk all the shit he wants about Eddie, but the second he refers to you that way, he’s charging at Jason. Eddie takes him down with ease, having a good three inches on his height. “Don’t you even think of touching them, you understand me?” Eddie’s got Jason pinned to the ground, a hand gripping each shoulder, throwing his head into the grass. “Don’t look at them, don’t think about them. I’m finished letting you think you can push me around, and I am especially done with you saying shit about Y/N.” He climbs off of Jason, letting him get up. “Go the fuck home, Jason. Leave us alone. Let Chrissy live without you hovering over her. She’ll leave you, y’know. She’ll get sick of your shit someday.”
Jason grunts, brushing the dirt from his jeans. “Whatever, Munson. You’re in for it now.” He turns to walk away.
“Oh, I’m shaking in my boots! Come get me, Jason! I’m starting to think you’ve got a crush!”
Jason only flips him off before getting into his car, speeding out of the park.
Eddie rolls his eyes, jogging back into the trailer, immediately picking up the phone. “You still there?”
“Hi, yes, I’m still here. What the hell was that?”
“That was Jason.”
“What?!” Your voice pitches up an octave, the fear in it unmistakable. “What the fuck did he want?!”
“To threaten me for selling drugs to his girlfriend, or something.”
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about me. Stay away from him, though. He’s gonna target you if he can’t get to me.”
There’s a pause. “I can handle him.” You sound certain, and Eddie knows that’s true.
“That doesn’t mean you should have to. Let me worry about him for you.”
You sigh, definitely a little sick of Eddie’s heroics. “We take care of each other.”
Eddie smiles into the receiver. “Okay. I think I can live with that.”
You two talk for hours, and Eddie finds himself twirling the phone cord like a teenage girl talking to her crush. Finally, the clock strikes midnight, and Eddie hears you yawn. “Okay, sweetheart. It’s time for bed. I’ll see you tomorrow. From afar.”
“Okay, Eds. Goodnight.
“Goodnight, Y/N. Sweet dreams.”
chapter VII
a/n i’m trying to finish chapter 7 to get it up sooner, i know this one’s kind of a filler but i need to add suspense!
tag list: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @beebeerockknot @wiildflower-xxx || send a message to be added!
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wandaromanova · 3 years
Text
Fun Guns
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: cussing, mention of sex, mentions of needles, blood
A/N: hello! i’m obviously not in the medical field, so everything described, i got from google haha. hope y’all enjoy! happy reading <3
anon requested: nat got shot in the arm during the mission so doc!r (her gf and has a strict and serious personality) has do the operation but the thing is nat keeps flirting and flexing her muscles even she's bleeding
Summary: Y/N helps her girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, with an injury.
Word Count: 1.1K
| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |
please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3
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You looked up from the paper in your hand at the sound of commotion.
You got up from your stool and made your way over to the door. However, before you could make it there, it swung open and your girlfriend, Natasha, walked in with Steve and Tony trailing behind her.
Your eyes widened at the sight of the redhead clutching her left arm, blood pouring from beneath it.
“Hi, baby. I got shot in the arm and I need you to patch me up.” Natasha spoke so casually that you didn’t even register what she said at first. When you did, you stared at her like she had grown two heads.
You gave Steve a look and he nodded, grabbing Natasha’s other arm and walking her over to the medical table. You went over to a counter and placed on some gloves.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
Natasha was laid out on the table and you nodded to the two men in the room.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
“I can handle it from here. Did you guys need any help too?” Tony and Steve shook their heads.
“No, nothing some Tylenol can’t help.” Steve joked and you let out a small chuckle at that.
You watched as the two Avengers exited the room, leaving you alone with your girlfriend.
“I need to take your shirt off.” Natasha raised her eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at her and carefully helped her out of the material.
“I mean I don’t think having sex while I’m bleeding is a good idea, but I’m not against it.”
You softly grasped her arm and examined the injury, ignoring her flirting. The bullet wasn’t deep and there was no exit wound.
All you had to do was take the bullet out and close up the hole in her arm. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything serious.
You turned around and walked over to some shelves and drawers, retrieving the proper tools you’d need to extract the bullet and stitch up her arm.
You dragged your stool beside the bed and Natasha sent you a flirtatious smile.
“Doc, I think I’m hurt somewhere else, too.” Natasha grabbed your hand and placed it onto her abdomen, flexing her muscles.
You sent her a serious look and tore your hand out of her grip. You couldn’t believe she was flirting with you while she was literally bleeding.
“This is serious, Natasha. You’re lucky the bullet is in your arm and not somewhere fatal.”
You scolded your girlfriend, taking a needle and inserting it into her skin. It was an anesthetic that would numb the area, so Natasha wouldn’t feel a thing.
She was going to need it if you were going to shove some tweezers into her arm then stitch her skin back together.
“I’m fine, honey. You know I’ll always make it back to my favorite milf.”
You rolled your eyes at the title. Yeah, you had a five-year-old daughter. You were slightly older than Natasha.
She was 37 and you were 41. It was only a four-year gap, but Natasha never failed to tease you for the age difference.
You quickly went to work after a few minutes, just to be sure that the lidocaine had run its course.
You feared that the bullet would be hard to find, but luckily, it wasn’t. You had found it fairly easily and took it out, placing it onto a bedpan beside you.
Natasha was completely unfazed by the entire thing. This wasn’t her first time getting a bullet extracted. She was just completely entranced by you.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
She was basically gawking at you as you worked.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
Natasha admired the way your eyebrows would scrunch up in concentration, your tongue poking through your teeth as you tried to keep your hand steady.
Also, she absolutely loved how good you were at what you did. You were the best doctor in New York, which is why you were hired to work for the Avengers.
They definitely needed the best they could get considering the massive battles they always find themselves in.
Natasha had pursued you for quite a while, but you never exactly gave in. You were a professional and you knew that having a romantic relationship with a patient wasn’t right.
But she was Natasha fucking Romanoff; no one could resist her. So, eventually, after months of the redhead’s persistency, you had agreed to a date with the redhead and the rest was history.
“You almost done, doc?” Natasha asked as you placed the last few stitches into her arm. You snipped off the excess suture.
“I just finished. You know the drill, don’t move your arm around too much. You need to come back in a week or so to get them removed.”
You gave Natasha instructions as you cleaned up after yourself. However, the redhead extended her arm slowly, grabbing your wrist in her hand.
“Thank you, milfy.” You let out a small laugh at her words and Natasha smiled at the sound.
“You’re welcome, foxy.” You uttered the nickname that Natasha absolutely hated.
One day in the earlier stages of your relationship, you had referred to Natasha as a fox, her red hair reminding you of the animal.
The Russian absolutely hated it and practically fought you every time you’d call her by that name.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
“You’re suddenly not my favorite milf anymore.” Natasha mumbled, letting go of your wrist, allowing you to throw away the remaining trash.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
“Oh yeah? And who is your favorite milf now?” You teasingly asked, going to sit by her side once more.
“Wanda.” You let out a full-hearted laugh at her response. You shook your head frantically.
“Well, I don’t blame you. She’s my favorite milf too.” Natasha sent you a glare. You sharply raised your eyebrow at her.
“Don’t give me that look! You mentioned Wanda first!” Natasha pouted and you leaned forward, giving her a quick peck.
When you moved back, a wide smile was now spread across the assassin’s face.
“Seriously though, you need to be more careful. I know you have me to help you out, but that doesn’t mean you need to get hurt all the time.”
You frowned and Natasha stared into your eyes softly, her green irises shining with love.
“I promise I’ll be more careful, but you gotta admit that it’s fun being able to see these guns. Come on, admit it, it’s fun.”
Natasha flexed her good arm, showing off her toned muscles. She also clenched her stomach, accentuating her abs.
You let out a dramatic sigh, placing your hand on top of her stomach.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
“It’s fun to see those guns.”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
“See! I knew it. I knew you liked them.”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
───────── ・ 。゚☆: *.��� .* :☆゚. ──────────
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sydnikov · 3 years
Text
Sunkissed (pt. 2)
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Link to Part 1, Link to Part 3
Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov/female!Reader
Word Count: 6.2k
Summary: It turns out that avoiding your feelings was hopeless when it came to Andrei. Full of guilt and sadness from the loss of one of your greatest friends, you flee from the confines of Raleigh to the coast of North Carolina, hoping to outrun your emotions instead of confronting them. It only works for so long, for suddenly the one you had tried avoiding the most is quite literally thrust back into your life when you least expect it.
Warnings: Cursing, angst, a bit of fluff, another cliffhanger
A/N: So remember when I said this would be the last part to this series? I lied. I know I even had a vote and all, but being on a break has really brought things into perspective and despite what everyone else wants, I know what I want and that’s to post a part 2 that isn’t an end to the series yet. I still love y’all though, so I hope you guys enjoy! 😌 Reblogs and commentary is very much appreciated <3
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. This is not meant to be hate towards Andrei and Julia who are a very happy couple together, which therefore means I'm happy for them as well. This is merely a work of entertainment that in no way, shape, or form represents real life.
Translations:
¹Не могу жить без тебя - I can’t live without you
²rapea - frisky
³rakkaus - love
⁴я сильно скучал по тебе - I missed you so much
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The road to recovery was brutal. It wasn’t some colorful arc of growth that you see in those cheesy movies about break-ups, because the real world didn’t let you come to terms with the way everything had fallen apart in a mere day, and it especially didn’t make the job of trying to pick up the pieces of your broken heart any easier.
Anyone who's ever said otherwise is lying.
Your hangover that morning after was a bitch. And it became even more of a bitch when it all came rushing back to you why you let yourself get so drunk in the first place.
"What if I don't want to be just your best friend?"
"You're joking…"
"You think I'd lie…"
"You've lied about drinking, so…"
"Get out. Now."
"Please let me try and fix this…"
It was a good thing it was the weekend. Two days of blissful silence from the outside world until you had to face the reality that you had just caused the very being of your world to crash and burn.
With your heart freshly wounded and nowhere near close to pulling itself back together, you didn't know how you were going to handle walking through the hallways of PNC decorated with Andrei's smiling face and knowing that you alone were the reason you’d lost him.
You didn't really know what to feel after all of that, if you were being honest. You supposed you should have felt livid, upset, hell, even guilty about the words your drunken self spit at him.
Though he still definitely returned the favor. Sober, too.
All you felt was numb, though. You knew it was just your brain's way of compensating for the overwhelming emotion and trying to give yourself time to recover, but you knew hiding from your feelings was going to just come and bite you, and whoever tries to let themselves in, in the ass.
After all, it was never a good idea to walk in broken glass.
The annoyingly cheerful ringtone of your phone soon snapped you out of your thoughts, and when you confusedly checked the ID and found it to be Sebastian you eventually decided to answer, if not with a bit of caution.
Who the hell knows who Andrei told about your fight. You wouldn't be surprised if the entire PNC staff, including the team, knew about it.
Sebastian all but shouted your name in relief once he heard you pick up, and you couldn't help but sigh in relief at the familiarity you so desperately needed.
"Sepe?" You laughed, confusion momentarily forgotten as his relieved laugh made a small smile pop up on your face. "What's going on?"
"Svech told us what happened-"
Oh.
"-and before you freak out, by us I mean me, Martin, Turbo, and also Marty by accident because he can't not eavesdrop to save his life."
"That… Really isn't any better," You winced with a breathless laugh, exhaustedly running a hand down your face.
"I'd say it's better than the whole team knowing. Or Julia herself?"
Now that caught you off-guard.
"Julia doesn't know?" You immediately straightened up, baffled at the news. If anything, you thought his fiancé would have been the first person he told, not his teammates.
"He said he, and I quote, 'didn't want to worry her', which is complete shit in my opinion, but…"
You tried not to think into why your fight would worry her to the point that Andrei just decided not to tell her at all.
"Well, this is awkward…" You mumbled, slowly crawling out of your bed to make your way to the kitchen.
To be fair, any situation where your friend knows you shouted 'I love you' to their other friend would be awkward.
Especially if said-friend is engaged.
"Just a little bit," Sebastian admitted over the phone. "But... Are you okay?"
No. No, you weren’t, but you weren’t about to let Sebastian in on that.
“I… Yeah, I’m okay. Or, I will be, at least.”
“Mhm,” Sebastian wasn’t buying your excuse, that much you could tell, but luckily he decided to leave it be. “Whatever you say…” He sounded like he was about to say something else, but a muffled voice on the other side of the line seemed to snatch his attention away.
“Look, I have to go now, but… I’m here, in case you need me.”
You smiled.
“Thanks, Sepe.”
Sebastian hung up after that, and you were left to your own devices for the rest of the day, thankfully. Though you didn’t do much except wallar in self-pity, muting the notifications of your texts and social media.
Not that it did much good, considering Andrei’s contact name still managed to flash on your screen several times throughout the day. It was only several hours later that he seemed to get the hint that you weren’t going to answer, and at long last you were finally able to scroll through your emails without having to quickly decline an incoming call.
Sunday went much the same, too, except a lot more silent. You exchanged a few texts with Sebastian, a few with your mom and gave her a basic rundown of what went down with Andrei along with the promise to meet up sometime for lunch as soon as you could come down to her house.
Which, fortunately, was soon.
Because, unfortunately, you living in Raleigh was just no longer an option. You couldn’t do it. You had money saved up just in case a situation like this one arrived, ready to move at a moment's notice. Only you never expected it to be under these types of circumstances.
And god did you try to make it work, you tried to avoid what you thought were the eyes of your coworkers burning holes into the side of your face at your sudden withdrawal and quietness. Despite Andrei having revealed it to absolutely no one about your little spat, the paranoia was getting so bad that you had started to avoid even going out after games with the guys you once considered yourself to be oh-so-close to.
Stuck in your own world of distrust and worry, you never noticed Andrei’s lingering eyes on the rare occasion he’d see you outside of your office, or how his face would fall when Sebastian would look up from his phone with a solemn shake of his head when informing them on a night out that you would not be joining them.
How he was slowly starting to regret his outburst, when instead of looking into Julia’s sparkling blue eyes and feeling love, he’d see the unique color of your own instead and how there had never been a day since he joined the team where you weren't there for him.
He might have been hurting - he lost his best friend too - but he had Julia and his teammates to fall back on. In a sense, you had no one. Or at least that was what you kept telling yourself.
And you couldn’t take it anymore. The constant avoidance and vigilance, the late hours spent at work and the little amount of sleep you were getting… You couldn’t do it, so when you turned in your resignation to your boss with shaky hands it felt like more of a relief than it should have been when she smiled warmly at you and wished you luck, no questions asked.
It was as you packed up the few belongings you had in your office did you suddenly realize that leaving Raleigh maybe wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. You felt like you had some clarity for the first time in months since the argument, because now that you were free from the trap you'd come to refer to as your job, you remembered that you had your mom, you had Sebastian… You’d been living under the pretense that Andrei was everything good about Raleigh for so long that you failed to recognize everything else that had been right in front of you.
Though instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you tried to recognize that this was a good thing. Because you didn’t need Andrei. You didn’t need the whispers from the interns talking about how happy Julia was with Andrei, you didn’t need the pitying looks from Martin or Sebastian, and you didn’t even need Andrei himself.
Not while you were still in love with him. And especially not while he was engaged.
If only your racing heart understood that as a deep Russian voice calling your name from far down the hallway stole your attention. You almost wanted to pretend that you hadn’t heard him because the elevator was right there, but the left winger knew you better than that and made sure to catch up to you in time.
A broken whisper of your name left his lips once he finally reached you, spotting the lone cardboard box of belongings from your office and the lack of papers he was so used to seeing you carrying to and fro the arena.
“Yes?” You broke the tense silence first, suddenly fascinated with the decorated wall behind him. Did they get a new paint job recently?
“What… What are you doing?” He looked so lost, so helpless, and you would have let yourself fall into his arms if you weren’t so guarded, just so heartbroken from that fateful Friday night that left your friendship in tatters.
You swallowed dryly, torn on what to say or do. Because how do you tell someone that they’re the reason you’re leaving your home? “Leaving. To my car. I’m not working here anymore.”
Andrei blinked once, twice, a good few times before he brought a hand up to run down his face. “You’re leaving?” he whispered so quietly it had your heart screaming out through the walls you had it forced behind. “I’m sorry,” he added quickly, trying to plead with his eyes for you to just look up and acknowledge him. “I didn’t mean-”
He didn’t realize how much he’d miss you until you were gone.
“Andrei, please,” You whispered, lips wobbling with the strength it took to keep your sobs at bay. This was the exact reason why you wanted to avoid seeing your former best friend before you left.
And suddenly he was panicking all over again, like the night he blew up on you, only now he realized you were really going to be gone, and it was going to be all his fault.
He ruined you. And there was no going back.
“¹Не могу жить без тебя,” Was all the hockey player managed to choke out, only his words did nothing but spur you in your movement to get the hell out of there, and he was helpless to do anything but watch you wipe the tears running down your cheeks as you backed away from him. “Is there anything I can do? To make it better?”
To make you stay? Was the unspoken question he wanted to ask, but you weren’t there to listen to his bribes. He didn’t feel the same. Which was okay. You understood. You just didn’t get why he wasn’t letting you go, why he had to make your leave as painful as possible.
“You can step out of the way so I can get to my car,” You eventually whispered out, eyes watery and bloodshot but never daring to meet his own. Without giving him a chance to respond, you took in your former place of work once more, took in your former best friend’s teary eyes as you swept past him for the last time.
And as you made your way down the cemented steps, the sun shining down upon you and filling you with its warmth, you felt a new sense of peace.
You weren’t okay. You weren’t happy. But driving away from the PNC Arena, away from Raleigh, away from Andrei, you figured that maybe one day you would be.
And when you finally moved out to the Outer Banks you just couldn’t help but compare your new home to your former one. But if you had to tell yourself that there were still similarities between the two places you lived in, you figured you could allow it just to make adjusting a little bit easier.
And you still weren't okay. You knew that it would be a while before you would forget your hockey family, Andrei, your old friends, PNC Arena, Andrei and the dark richness of his chocolate brown eyes that set your body ablaze.
But, over time, it became easier.
The first few weeks, Andrei was all you could think about. With vague texts to Sebastian asking how the team was doing - he understood you probably better than Andrei ever had - he thankfully indulged you with no questions asked, informing you how they were adjusting to the change slowly but surely, but it was hard. And it was hard for Andrei, too, who seemed to have lost his lively spark that had attracted you to him in the first place.
You told yourself you didn't care. But you did. At least for a while. But then those thoughts first thing in the morning wondering how Andrei was doing started coming less and less, perhaps instead popping into your mind while you were at your new job instead.
Andrei called you his little sun, and it was only months later did you realize you had taken that title a bit too literally.
During all this time you had forgotten how the sun had never actually revolved around the earth, but rather the earth revolved around the sun instead. And finally, finally, you were learning how to become your own sun, nobody else's.
The months passed by quickly, March to April and then April to August, and then next thing you knew you had been living peacefully at the beach for almost a year. You kept in contact with the boys - most of them - and occasionally called them, and lucky for you they mentioned nothing of Andrei's state there without you.
As if your leave would have affected him at all. He made it clear he didn't care.
Though strangely enough, you heard nothing of Andrei and Julia finally tying the knot. You would have asked, but opening that can of worms was something you didn't particularly want to go through again.
Which was why you were so nervous when you finally agreed to let Sebastian and a few of the others finally come down to the Outer Banks for the last week of their off-season to visit.
At least you'd be able to safely avoid Andrei when finally meeting up with the guys, because according to Sebastian, Andrei and Julia were still together. Which meant he'd be going on trips with her instead.
Until you got the call.
"I'm sorry, what?"
A stressed sigh came from the other end of the line, and you held your breath waiting for Sebastian to confirm what you already knew to be true.
"They called it off, just now. Or a bit ago. I don't know." A brief pause of tense silence, and then he spoke again. "It's all over the news, anyways, haven't you seen it yet?"
You cast a quick glance towards the broken wifi box in the corner of the room, thanks to your boss's failure to ever pay the bills on time, your phone was relying on its data to keep the call running. "Clearly not," you muttered, running an anxious hand through your hair. "Look, Sepe, you know I love you-"
"Ooh, ²rapea-"
"But why are you telling me this?"
"Because I figured you'd probably want to know."
"No, no, that isn't it." You let out a nervous breath. "I don't… I'm not in contact with him. Whatever he does with Julia is none of my business. I don't care."
"You know that isn't true-" He immediately rebutted, and you could just imagine the indignant look on his face even on the other side of the phone.
"He doesn't love me back, Sebastian!"
Silence. You pressed a hand to your chest, willing the anger inside of you to just wither away, knowing it wasn't right to direct all of your pent-up emotions onto your friend.
Sepe said your name quietly, and you responded with such. "He's coming with us, ³rakkaus. You're going to see him."
...and you caved. You really shouldn't have, should have just told Sebastian that you had already made the rooms for everyone else and had no space left, but you both knew that was a lie.
You always had a place for Andrei. Even if you were absolutely furious at him.
But you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss him. Your hands may have shaken as your mom helped you get your new place ready for the guys, graciously providing you with such advice only a mother would have, but you'd still missed it. Not necessarily the misery, but… You missed Raleigh and the memories that came with it.
You missed going out to bars with the guys after a win, you missed working late nights at PNC with your coworkers, and you missed game nights at Warren's where you'd be one of the first to lose until somebody took pity on you and essentially took over your game, but you never minded.
And you missed Andrei. God, you missed him so much. You missed his smile, his dark brown eyes that seemed to sparkle every time the light hit them just right, and you missed his hugs even if most of the hugging was going to Julia instead.
You felt bad at the way your heart skipped a beat when Sebastian delivered the news, but then again, you really didn’t.
The rest of the day passed slowly, the night following in similar fashion, leaving you staring up at your ceiling into the early hours of the morning, knowing that as you finally fell asleep you’d be waking up to a world you’d been desperately trying to avoid for almost a year.
That morning you rose along with the sun, trudging into the kitchen to make your coffee in front of the large window that overlooked the beachfront. One of your good friends at work was taking leave for vacation and offered you a stay in their parents’ beach house up in Corolla, knowing of your dilemna in which you had been trying to figure out how the fuck you were supposed to store four grown men into your tiny apartment.
Having settled in just a few nights before, you couldn't help but send a quick text to said-friend with a picture of the view and, for the hundredth time, thank them profusely for letting you stay. It was absolutely huge, and when you jokingly had asked if their parents were in the mafia for the unnecessary amount of money it would have taken to afford such a place, your friend had just smirked as if they knew something you didn’t.
“You really don’t want to know.”
“You’re probably right.”
When the coffee machine sputtered and choked out the last of the addicting liquid that you had grudgingly taken a liking to, you remembered to keep it running with a bag of coffee beans next to it for the tired group of men that were bound to be arriving later that day.
Well, mainly for the two Finns who would still drink coffee after sleeping for twelve hours if they wanted to. Martin also couldn't live without it, but Andrei had never been much of a coffee person last you saw him.
And, fuck, there was that familiar pang in your heart again.
You roughly swallowed the bitter liquid in your mug, turning away with a wince from the window when all it did was reflect the nervousness and anxiousness present all over your face.
You mindlessly went through the motions of getting ready for the day, your teeth finding a permanent place on your bottom lip to chew away in anxiety as you let your thoughts run freely.
When would they be arriving? You checked the clock. You still had a few hours of peace.
Was everything ready? You walked through all of the guest rooms again, and, unsurprisingly, found everything perfectly in place. Similarly, you found the kitchen to be well-stocked, leaving you without an excuse to head to the market.
It was useless questions like these that kept your mind company as the day passed agonizingly slow, the sun eventually sinking below the horizon until the dreaded time came where the sound of loud voices accompanied by several different knocks broke the fragile silence of the house.
"Fuck, okay," you whispered to yourself, standing frozen in place for merely a moment before rushing to the front door. You got this.
You opened the door, revealing Sebastian and Martin first with Teuvo just beginning to make his way up the porch. You tried to hide the way you immediately began to seek out Andrei first.
At the sight of your face, Sebastian was the first one to release an excited shout of your name before he practically swallowed you in his arms, the grin on his face so infectious that you couldn't help but return it. Martin was the next one to smush you into his chest with a suffocating hug, and Teuvo, as reserved as he was, merely gave you a warm smile before he immediately ran for the coffee with a hasty greeting thrown your way.
You wondered if you should have told him it was cold.
"I missed you guys so much," you breathed out with a laugh that you didn't expect to come out as easy as it did, picking up a bag that one of them had dropped on the porch to carry inside.
"Who wouldn't miss us?" Teuvo soon called out, a lazy grin on his face as he came out of the house with a fresh mug of coffee in his hands.
You rolled your eyes, having missed the playful banter between them all.
Sebastian threw an arm around your shoulders, sending a mischievous smile his best friend's way. "Don't mind him, he's got a girlfriend now and suddenly he's the most confident guy in the world."
"Were you not the same way when you met Rosa?" Teuvo retorted immediately, raising his eyebrows as he took a slow sip of his coffee.
"No, I was much better."
"The shirtless selfies you sent me that day say different."
Chaos ensued, and Sebastian and Teuvo chased after each other into the house as they shouted in incoherent Finnish that had you giggling with Martin until their voices faded into the background.
As you and your favorite Czech caught up, you could only pretend to be admiring the scenery bathed in moonlight for so long before attempting to speak the question that had been on the tip of your tongue the moment they had all arrived.
Martin, conveniently, just finished gathering all of his stuff before he patted your shoulder with a mischievous smile before slowly backing away to the door.
"He's in the car, getting the rest of his stuff."
And sure enough, you could see the faint silhouette of his shadow behind the trunk, looking to be prolonging stepping away from the car for as long as possible. Though you understood the feeling, you couldn't help the sharp pang in your chest at the thought that he was dreading to see you again.
Taking a deep breath and gathering whatever semblance of courage you had left, you cast a wary glance back towards Martin and watched as he gave you a small smile before disappearing into the house.
You swallowed nervously. Walking down from the porch ever so slowly, you approached their car warily until Andrei finally looked up at the sound of your footsteps.
You hadn't been sure what you were expecting, but the brightness of his face sculpted out by moonlight and the healthy glow of his eyes definitely wasn't it. You stood there, frozen, completely and utterly enraptured by how good he looked. There was something older about him as you took him in the same way he was doing to you, a certain caution and hesitance making up the slight lines around his face.
You weren't sure if you expected him to smile, but then again, he was probably expecting you to yell at him or curse out his very existence. You didn't really blame him, because for the longest time you probably would have done just that, but now?
Well… You just missed your best friend. You were finally tired of hurting, of trying to hold a grudge against a guy who just happened to be in love with someone else. It happens all the time, right? Your feelings be damned.
It didn't matter what you thought anymore.
Andrei took a deep breath the moment he saw you approaching from the corner of his eye, a nervousness bubbling up in his gut at the fact that he was about to have a conversation with you for the first time in almost a year; for a moment, he wondered if he should have even bothered stalling to collect his luggage since it looked like you were determined to greet him anyway. He wouldn't exactly lie and say that he wasn't excited to see you, but he couldn't help but feel guilty about that fact since he had quite literally just broken up with Julia, his ex-fiancé, only days before.
Though that didn’t stop him from practically devouring your body with his eyes, taking in the healthy glow to your skin and the natural blush on your cheeks that could have only come from days spent in the sun. You looked happy, and Andrei wasn't sure if it was such a good idea for him to have come here after all.
It looked like you had moved on though, that's what matters. Right?
"Hey Andrei," You greeted quietly, squinting your eyes against the darkness that shielded you from prying eyes to get a better look at him, regarding him cautiously.
It took a moment for him to process the words that left your mouth, and Andrei didn't even think twice before he let himself succumb to the emotion of having missed you for so long, and it would have taken the power of a thousand suns to stop him from hugging you almost suffocatingly close, never letting you go again, ever, bringing you close to his chest and sinking his head into the crook of your neck with a shaky sigh.
You didn't even fight it. You didn't want to. Your breath was labored and weak as the man you loved brought you in without hesitation and you reveled in his desperate embrace, you threw your arms around his neck and burrowed your head into the comforting warmth of his chest, ignoring the voices screaming inside your head that this was wrong.
And yet it felt so right. Like a piece of your soul had finally been found, latching onto that void in your heart that had felt overwhelmingly empty since you’d left.
But it was okay because Andrei was back and he was right here and you were drowning in his arms, the small amount of tears trickling down your cheeks irrelevant as he murmured unintelligible Russian into your neck, because he was here again and he wasn't letting you go again anytime soon.
"⁴я сильно скучал по тебе," He muttered into your neck, voice quiet and vulnerable and full of emotion and one that had you pulling back almost immediately.
Fuck. Your heart couldn't take this.
You attempted a smile, a weak one but nonetheless it seemed to placate your emotional Russian. It was as if the moment he spoke the spell of reunion was broken, leaving you wondering how the fuck you were supposed to fall back into the rhythm of being friends again.
Especially since he knew how you felt.
And most of all, you were still hurt. No amount of time spent distracting yourself at the beach would ever make you forget the heartbreak that Andrei had put you through, intentionally or unintentionally.
Seeing him again sparked those same feelings you fought so hard to smother, foolishly thinking that if you never saw him again then they would just… Go away.
Seeing him standing right in front of you with a sheen over his eyes as he held you close catapulted you back into the earlier times of your friendship, when physical affection was your very own language and innocent flirting - at least on your part - made up almost the entirety of your conversations.
You were so, so fucked.
"I missed you too," You responded in soft Russian, and the brilliant smile that spread across his face at your remembrance of the language almost made you forget the pain he put you through, because this was Andrei and no matter how much he might have changed over your time away, he was still just your same old best friend.
Who you also happened to be in love with, but details, details…
The feelings of nostalgia soon became too much as the two of you stayed with your arms wrapped around the other, taking the other in until you finally managed to pull yourself away.
You smiled weakly, now avoiding his eyes. "They're probably waiting for us inside." You pretended not to notice the way his expression fell at your words.
Walking up the stairs and opening the door to the large beach house, you went ahead of Andrei and led him into the spacious living room and was greeted with the sight of Teuvo fiddling with the TV remote, Sebastian bundled up in so many blankets that he almost resembled a living burrito with a mug of coffee, and Martin unpacking the food they brought in the kitchen.
Ignoring the curious looks all three boys were sending you, you merely rolled your eyes before walking through the open doorway that led into the kitchen and began helping Martin sort through all of the food they - unnecessarily - brought.
"You guys know you didn't have to bring so much, right?" You huffed, trying to break through the tension that had come at the entrance of you and Andrei.
Sebastian, who had a knack at always picking up on the mood, laughed all the way from the living room. "We know you better than that. I can't even cook and my apartment has more food than you."
And as simple and unimportant the statement was, the fact that they had even remembered such small things about you was enough to bring tears to your eyes. Again.
You had missed them so, so much.
"Pizza boxes and soda cans don't count as real food, Fishy." Andrei chimed in with a grin, and Martin merely shook his head in amusement before putting away the last of the bags.
Ignoring the bickering between the two forwards, you merely hummed contently and couldn't resist sending a fond, sneaky glance towards Andrei at the way he still immediately jumped to your defense, no matter how miniscule of a defense it was.
Was he just trying to keep the tension bearable until he could leave? Or has he genuinely missed you and regretted what he said all that time ago?
"You're staring." A low voice whispered into your ear, causing you to immediately whip around with a startled squeak. And, not to your surprise, it was Turbo who had snuck into the kitchen next to you and Martin unseen.
You crossed your arms, tilting your head up with an indignant huff. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Martin and Teuvo exchanged an amused glance before, fortunately, changing the topic. You had missed simple conversations with the hockey players, talking about your day or what silly thing the other had done at practice. It was refreshing, and once a lull in conversation came, the three of you eventually turned to face the large window in the kitchen that overlooked the beach front, now pitch black with only the stars reflecting across the water.
"It really is a beautiful place," Martin hummed from beside you, and you were much inclined to agree. "How'd you manage to book it for so long?"
"One of my friend's parents owns it, and they convinced them to let us stay while they're all in Italy."
Teuvo raised his eyebrows. "Italy? Are their parents in the mafia?"
You bit down your grin. "I don't know, they wouldn't give me a straight answer."
You openly laughed at the look on both their faces, ignoring their questions as you finally began to drag them both away from the window to get settled in. While you were positive you could have stayed up until the early hours of the morning catching up, you wanted to give them all a chance to get settled into their rooms considering they were staying there for the entirety of the week.
And you also wanted some alone time so you could freak out over the first physical contact you’ve had with Andrei in ages, but that was irrelevant.
As you entered the large living room once more, the three of you arrived just in time to see Andrei and Sebastian rolling off of the couch simultaneously.
"Are we doing something tomorrow?" Andrei asked as you walked up next to them.
"My company not enough for you?" You teased, completely forgetting the fact that such jokes weren't exactly… Appropriate anymore since, well, your company hadn't been enough for him to accept the feelings you had for him, all that time ago.
The way his expression fell into one of guilt reminded you of that, and you quickly tried to remedy that sad look on his face you couldn't stand to see.
"I heard there were wild horses here?" Teuvo, bless him, thankfully spoke up, and you breathed out a small sigh of relief as the entire conversation shifted onto other things. "Those would be cool to see."
Martin immediately shot up at the mention of his favorite animal. "Horses?"
"Mhm," You nodded, laughing at the excited look in Martin's eye. "I'd have to sign us up though so we might not get to go immediately yet."
"That's cool," Teuvo shrugged, leaning up against the staircase. "Anything on the agenda for tomorrow?"
You shrugged bashfully. "The beach?"
Once the five of you seemingly determined your plans for tomorrow, the boys were finally able to seek out the quiet of their rooms and begin to get ready for bed. The many hours of traveling together must have really done a number on them, especially if Sebastian and Teuvo weren’t even bothering to play their video games together before sleeping like they normally would.
As you showed the rest of them where their rooms were, it didn't take a genius to notice the way Andrei was lagging behind, sneaking careful glances at you from the corner of his eye and trying to speak, but the words just wouldn't fall from his mouth no matter how hard he tried.
You didn't give him a chance to let them. You fled, whispering a 'goodnight' to all of your friends and retreated to the safe confines of your room.
Andrei sighed, accepting the defeat. At least now that you were here, he'd have plenty of time to figure out how the fuck he was supposed to tell you he, well... He didn't know what he felt, but it definitely wasn't what friends should be feeling towards each other.
He couldn't help but wonder if that love you claimed to have for him so many months ago was still just as strong now as it was then, though when he thought back to the way you avoided his eyes and fled to your own bedroom he had a strong inclination to believe that love had long since diminished.
He bit back a frustrated groan at the thought. Why were you acting so strange now when before you had hugged him like you were never letting him go again?
A hand clapped him on the shoulder, and Andrei turned around with a huff to face his other friend. "She looks happier," Martin spoke quietly, referring to how easily you'd welcomed them all back into your life.
Well, minus him.
"She'll warm up to you. Give her time, it's been awhile." He responded quietly, easily seeing through his friend's insecurities.
"What if time was not enough?"
Martin tilted his head, hiding his sly smile and thinking back to when Teuvo caught you staring at him back in the kitchen. "It is. Or it will be."
Andrei narrowed his eyes skeptically. "But-"
"Go to bed, Drei." The left winger laughed, grinning at the confusion in his friend's eyes as he reluctantly nodded his head. God, Sepe was right, the two of you were idiots when it came to each other.
Hopefully soon, one of you would man up and finally decide to address what the fuck had happened that night so long ago and any feelings that might have remained.
Andrei let out a curse from his room, and Martin sighed at his friend’s stupidity.
Hopefully soon indeed.
~
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mprosperossprite · 3 years
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This post contains discussion of racism, misogyny, and intersection of these ideas in the TOG fandom.
Though the conversation around the racist tropes sometimes employed in depicting Joe is valuable and important, I do not have anything productive to add to that particular conversation. Instead, this post aims to examine the ways in which Nile has largely been overlooked by fan created content for The Old Guard and suggest ways in which each of us as individuals might make this fandom a more inclusive place.
One last preamble: I’m an white woman. I am speaking here from a place of ally-ship. And I am still learning how to best be an anti-racist ally in all elements of my life. This post is coming from the best of my knowledge at the moment, hoping that maybe it’ll make a difference to somebody.
Alright.
I want to begin with a story: a couple of weeks ago in the Book of Nile group chat one of our members noticed that the stories and AU’s and ideas we were constructing for each other the previous week had focused on Booker, had given Booker the extensive backstories, had articulated Booker’s complexity more thoroughly. She posted that she had noticed this along with a note along the lines of “we can’t do better if we don’t recognize the patterns.”
So here’s a pattern that I’ve noticed that is particularly disheartening to me: Nile Freeman, a black woman and the main character of The Old Guard, has the least amount of fanworks created about her.
On AO3 she has the fewest tagged fics. On tumblr, there is much less fan art created for her. In discord servers, Nile is rarely mentioned.
This fandom has become dominated by Joe and Nicky.
I do not mean to discount Joe and Nicky. Their depiction in an action movie is groundbreaking queer representation. They are fascinating individuals and fascinating in how they make their work partnership, romantic and sexual relationship flourish for an unimaginable length of time. Their story touches on themes that have long excited storytellers: the power of love above all, fate’s matches and soulmates.
Nevertheless, the way this fandom has diminished and ignored Nile Freeman is a collective act of misogynoir. All of us are complicit.
Racism is structural. Misogyny is structural. It is no one person’s fault. It is no individual’s moral failing. None of us can single-handedly fix it.
Nile’s erasure from the TOG fandom is nobody’s fault. As the opening anecdote illustrates, even those of us who actively seek out fan communities focused on her are guilty of backburnering Nile to a white man.
But, my experience working in one of the most racist systems in the US has helped me learn that though I can’t individually end racism and misogyny (and other structural inequalities), I can be aware of how my actions might reinforce these structures, and I can make deliberate choices to make my own actions as anti-racist and as feminist as possible.
So, TOG fans who are reading this, I ask you to pay attention to the content you’re creating and consuming in this fandom.
How many stories have you read or written recently that have included Nile as a full, complex character in her own right (and not a catalyst or ancillary support for Joe or Nicky or Booker)?
How much fan-art with Nile has crossed your dash recently? What percentage of it is just Nile reacting to Joe and Nicky?
How many conversations have you had in group chats and discord servers that examine Nile’s backstory, her journey in the film, her future with a fragmented and hurting Old Guard?
How many headcanons have you crafted about Nile’s role in the guard’s little family, about the way her principles and desires might reinforce the others’ views or change them?
Furthermore, I hope that as you do this, you’ll notice the reasons that you haven’t seen or engaged with content about the film’s main character. I urge you to push beyond superficial explanations.
I just like the romance aspect of Joe and Nicky. Okay, but who’s to say Nile can’t have romance too? Booker, Andy, Quynh, heck, even reincarnated Lykon or OC’s or characters from other franchises, are all available to appreciate and love on Nile Freeman.
I usually just have one ship in a fandom. Okay, but what about fic celebrating the joys of an intercultural found family or fic delving into Nile being a badass millennial warrior? Those and others are all stories that are interesting and exciting too!
I just love that Joe and Nicky are canonically queer. Absolutely! Me too! But this isn’t a reason to shun or ignore a character whose heart and intelligence and courage drives the plot of a movie we all claim to love.
And then, once you’ve paid attention, I urge you to make a change, to work against the misogynoir in our fandom. Even small things make a difference.
Reblog just one piece of content where Nile is the focus each time you log into tumblr
Read a fic once a week in which Joe and Nicky aren’t the primary characters
Write a subplot in your current fic which explores an element of Nile’s character
When I said we can all do better, I meant it. I’m not excluded from responsibility. In case you're curious how I’m taking my own advice, here’s my plan:
I’ve been bad about reblogging anything lately, considering reblogs are the lifeblood of tumblr. I’m going to seek out some of the Nile fanart I’ve skimmed over recently and queue it up. This blog is gonna have more Nile than it even did before.
I’m going to keep writing Book of Nile and Joe/Nicky, but I also want to consider Nile’s relationship with Andy and Quynh if it was sexual and romantic and fabulously queer and polyamorous. Gotta finish my current long-fic first, but then there are some fic ideas percolating I hope to get down on paper this summer.
I’m going to seek out Andy/Nile and Andy/Quynh fic on AO3. I haven’t read very much of either of these ships and I want to see more of what these authors have to offer. (If y’all have recs, hit me up!)
So to conclude, we can’t do better if we don’t recognize the patterns. I hope you’ll join me in consciously thinking about whose narratives with the TOG universe are being prioritized and whose narratives are being ignored. I hope you’ll join me in taking action, as small as they might be, to lift up those narratives that have been overlooked due to racism and misogyny that, again, is nobody’s fault but is everyone’s responsibility.
Finally, if you’ve made it to this point, thank you for your time and attention. What we pay attention to matters, and I’m grateful that you decided to pay attention to this.
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staticscreenwriting · 3 years
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HOME // Bucky Barnes
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Request: Could you do a Bucky Barnes imagine where he blips but the reader is pregnant so when he comes back he meets their daughter? If not that’s totally understandable and I hope you have an amazing day/night 💕
A/N: Look, I love writing angsty Bucky. But I also love writing happy Bucky. Hope y’all love reading this ♥  Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated.
Join my taglist here! [additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]
Thanos being defeated was not the end of it all. It seemed like it. The grand heroic solution to all problems. The ultimate test before things got better. Before they got easier.
That was a lie.
Bucky looks across the vast area of the Stark’s estate as people, all dressed in black, mourn the loss of a dear friend, an idol, a husband, a father.
That word sends a wave of anxiety and fear through him. He knows he can’t run forever and really, he doesn’t want to. He just doesn’t know how to deal with — everything. How to be the man he needs to be. How to step up and not fuck this up.
Sometimes fear makes you do stupid things, really stupid things. Like avoiding the love of your life because you are too afraid of what she might think of you.
His eyes find (Y/N) as she leans against a tree, lips pulled into a sad smile as Sam rambles about one thing or another next to her. This isn’t right. Sam shouldn’t be the one cheering her up and trying to get her to smile. It should be him. If only he wasn’t such a coward.
People don’t talk about these things though. They only talk about those that had been gone now being back again. They talk about the joy of being reunited but not the fears, the sadness, the disappointment — and they sure as hell don’t talk about the guilt.
The guilt of coming back after 5 years to find out you missed so many important moments in the life of a child you never knew you had.
His eyes wander down towards the little girl holding on tightly to her mother’s hand. She has his eyes, his dark hair, his lips. She’s a spitting image of his younger sister. A Barnes through and trough.
Every time he looks at her his heart beats out of his chest in a way he’s never felt before. When they say that the love for your own child is an instant emotion, they are not wrong or exaggerating.
The moment he came back from oblivion and first laid eyes on her, it felt like his heart had known her all his life. He wanted to hold her and shelter her from all the bad things the world might throw her way. Wanted to kiss her little nose and read her stories and sing her silly little songs. He hated singing but for her, he wanted to do it. Just because that’s what dads do.
But fear is one hell of an emotion and above all, it’s terribly convincing.
He’d never had a particularly good example of a father. It was different times then. Different ways of raising your child. Fathers weren’t meant to show affection, they were meant to enforce rules and order. How could he ever be good at this? He doesn’t have a single clue how to do any of this.
And then there’s the fact that he’s left (Y/N) alone to deal with all of this. Every first has been forever taken from him. First breath, first cry, first word, first steps. Every little thing.
Would she resent him for it? For not being there when it mattered?
So he ran. He came back and he ran.
She doesn’t deserve this and neither does (Y/N). They deserve so much better.
“ It’s time Buck. “ Steve speaks up as he leans against the porch railing next to his oldest friend.
“ Are you still sure about this? “ Bucky asks, not taking his eyes off of his girls. His stomach feels like he’s swallowed a bag of bricks. Life was supposed to be easier after Thanos. This isn’t easy. This is just scary. And sad.
“ That, “ Steve says and nods his head towards (Y/N) and the girl “ that’s your second chance. I gotta take mine. “
Bucky turns to look at his friend trying to figure out what to say next but coming up empty. What do you say to that? Steve deserves to be happy. He deserves to be where his heart always has been. Does it mean Bucky thinks it’s the right choice? Not necessarily. But he understands. Had it been him and (Y/N) he would’ve crossed time and space to be with her.
Which is ironic to think because now all he does is avoid her. Because that’s the coward he is.
“ Alright let’s go. I’ll grab Bruce you do — whatever you gotta do. “
He dares to send one last look towards (Y/N) and this time she’s looking back with a soft eye and a timid little smile on her lips. None of which he is deserving of.
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Steve let's go of Sam, parting with one last friendly slap on the back before turning towards Bucky.
Bucky's throat feels dry and rough and while his head is swirling with words he wants to say, none of them really make it past his lips. He's known about Steve's idea for a few days now, has had time to let it settle and come to terms with it. It still breaks his heart but sometimes that's what you do for the people you love. You support them on their path to happiness even if it hurts you in the process.
"I'll miss you," Bucky finally manages to say and he wraps his arm around his friend's shoulder. "You'll always be my brother."
"I know. I'll miss you too. But I know you're in good hands." Steve responds and lets his gaze wander towards the house, no doubt talking about (Y/N) and the kid.
"Promise me something, Buck." He says as he pulls away.
"Anything."
"Talk to (Y/N) and get to know your daughter. She's a Barnes through and through. And she loves you so much, they both do. Let them. Love 'em back."
"Kid doesn't even know me," Bucky murmurs, nervously glancing at the floor.
"What? You really think that? Buck, all we did for the last 5 years was try to keep your memory alive. For us but especially for her. We showed her pictures and videos and (Y/N) told her so many stories. She knows you and she loves you and for the first time in her life, she's living in a world where her dad is alive and present. Go, be with them. You guys need each other."
He's right. Of course, he's right. Steve has this fantastic ability to be right when it matters.
“And don’t do anything stupid until I get back!” Steve adds, making a small smile appear on Bucky’s face.
“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you. “
They embrace each other one last time before Bucky whispers another “I’ll miss you” and Steve tells him that “It’ll be okay, Buck”.
And then everything happens so fast. One moment he’s living in a world where his best friend is by his side and a minute later all of that has forever changed.
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Bucky wipes his eyes with the back of his hand one last time before looking at himself in the mirror. He knew this moment was coming, Steve told him. He had time to come to terms with it and yet it’s a completely different situation now that it’s done. Parting with the only family you’ve ever known breaks your heart in ways you’ve never known are possible.
As he steps out of the bathroom something solid crashes against him and as he looks down, a pair of identical blue eyes stare back at him. He’s not been this close to her since he found out about her, keeping her at a distance. To protect her.
His arm was made to kill how could it ever hold a child and keep it safe?
She stares at him for a moment before a small “Hi” falls from her lips. It’s shy and timid and adorable and all Bucky wants to do is cuddle her to his chest and never let her go.
He doesn’t get the chance though as another little girl rushes past them and calls out to his daughter to follow her which she does.
“Who is that?” Bucky hears Morgan question.
“That’s my daddy, but I don’t think he wants to see me. Mommy says he needs time but —“
He doesn’t hear the rest of her words as the girls round the corner and get swallowed by the sounds of the other guests still mulling around sharing stories about their fallen hero.
But it’s enough. He doesn’t need to hear more. Those words are enough to rip his heart out of his rib cage, crush it up into a million little pieces, and spread it in the winds, never to be able to be put together ever again.
“Hey have you seen — oh Bucky are you okay?”
He doesn’t deserve her tenderness, her kindness, and her care, and yet she still exudes the same love she’s always held for him. Love he was never deserving of from the beginning.
It doesn’t matter at that moment though, who deserves what and who doesn’t. He’s too caught up in the breaking of his own heart. So he falls into her arms as silent tears slowly but surely make their way down his cheeks.
“She thinks I don’t want to see her.”
“Who does?” (Y/N) says as she gently combs her fingers through his long hair.
“My own daughter. “
(Y/N) pulls away slightly, holding onto his shoulders and looking deep into his eyes.
“Are you ready to talk about this now? Ready to stop avoiding me ?”
Bucky only nods and lets her lead him outside past the guests and down to the lake where it’s quiet and serene and life seems to slow down a little. She keeps holding on to his hand, his vibranium one, as they settle on a bench facing each other.
“ I missed you, Bucky.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
He’s been told those words so many times and it’s still hard to believe in them. Even when he knows they’re true. There will always be a hint of doubt since him. Always.
“I don’t — I don’t want her to think I don’t love her. Or want to be with her. I do love her very much. More than I have ever loved another person, including you, and you are my everything. I’m just overwhelmed and — and scared.” He admits. It’s the first time he says those words to anyone but himself. It feels good. It feels right. But it doesn’t take the fear away or the guilt.
“James, she knows you love her. Not a day went by that I didn’t tell her how much her daddy loves her and wants to be with us. And it’s okay to be scared. I was scared and I only had to deal with a baby, not an opinionated 4-year-old. It’s okay to be scared but you can’t let the fear hold you back. You’re the bravest man I know. You laugh in the face of danger. What changed?”
“Stakes are higher this time. What’s losing my life compared to ruining my daughter’s?”
“You’re not gonna ruin anyone’s life, Buck.” (Y/N) exclaims and softly pets the side of his face. She’s always been so gentle with him. Such a contrast to the touches he was used to.
“I don’t know the first thing about being a dad. Mine wasn’t a very good example. I have been trained to kill, to cause pain. My arm is a weapon.”
“Your arm has shielded me from bullets and harm so many times. It’s held me close at night and wipes my tears when I was sad. Your arm is only a weapon if you use it like that. And all the other stuff, that’s not you anymore. You know this. “
He can see the treads now welling in her eyes too and it makes his heart twist and constrict in many painful ways.
“And I left you alone during all of it. Missed the last 4 years of her life and the entire pregnancy. How am I gonna make up for that, for leaving you alone?”
It feels like once he’s started talking he can’t stop. All his fears and worries flow from his lips like tidal waves in an ocean. Crashing against the shore of truth.
“You didn’t leave us Bucky. You were taken from us. We never blamed you for that. I know you wanted to be there. I never doubted that for a second. Look, I had 9 months to come to terms with my fears, you didn’t have any time to face them. I get why you are freaking out but uh — it’s time to step up. You know what makes a good dad? Being there when he can be. Showing he cares. Can you do that?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I can.” Bucky promises and smiles a smile of content. One of hope. His fears and his guilt aren’t gone. But maybe if she believes in him and Steve does, maybe he can be the man and the father he needs to be.
“Good. We really do love you, Buck.”
“As in present tense?”
“Of course. We never stopped. Now can I ask one more thing of you?”
“What’s that?” In the end, it wouldn’t really matter. Whatever she asks he’ll do it. For her, he’ll do anything.
“Can you kiss me? I’ve been waiting for 5 years to finally kiss you again. I can’t hold out much longer. “
He grants her not one kiss, not two. In fact, he loses count as they get lost in many many loving kisses. Maybe, Bucky thinks, soulmates really are a thing. Maybe there are people on this earth meant to find each other. Meant to go through hardships together and still find their way back to one another in the end.
Whatever one chooses to believe in. Bucky is certain she is his person in this life and the next and through whatever might come their way.
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He’s sitting on the big red couch in (Y/N)’s apartment, nervously fumbling with the tassels on one of the throw pillows as his eyes wander around the room. There are so many pictures, hung on the walls and placed on side tables and shelves. His child’s entire life up to now, caught on film for him to relive if only in his mind.
There are pictures of him too. One of him and Steve in the 40s, laughing and leaning against each other in support. (Y/N) always said it was one of her favorites. “You’re so happy in it. That’s how happy I want you to be all the time.” She’s told him once.
Next to a picture of (Y/N) and their daughter is a picture of him. He’s sure it’s placed there deliberately. To remind everyone he is a part of this family, even when he wasn’t there.
He is here now though. The next picture put up will be one of all three of them.
The front door opens and a melody of voices echoes through the place. (Y/N)’s laughter and the sweet giggle of his little girl. It’s his favorite sound in the world, he decided then and there. Nothing will ever compare.
The girl rushes into the room then comes to an abrupt stop in front of him.
“Hi,” she says in the same small voice as she did at the Stark’s house. Only this time Bucky doesn’t just stand and stare at her, unable to move or speak.
This time he holds out his arms and speaks up.
“Hi, I — I'm sorry it has taken me so long. I don’t know what I was thinking. I love you, Darling. Can I hug you?”
She doesn’t say yes or no, doesn’t glance at his vibranium arm with hesitance of fear. She falls right into him, wrapping her little arms around his neck and cuddling into his chest. It feels like this is where she belongs, like this is where she was always meant to be. Like his arms were made to hold her and never let go. And maybe, Bucky thinks, maybe they were.
“I love you too, daddy.”
He liked being a sergeant. It’s a title that has always filled him with pride. It has nothing on the title of being a dad. That one means so much more. Fills him with a pride and love he’s never previously known.
For the next few moments, he gets lost in the feeling of holding his child. A perfect little girl who is part of him. The good. Only the good. It all comes together in her. No nightmares or guilt or fears. Only love. So much love. He holds her close to his heart, wishing he could’ve done this when she was just a baby. Feel her heart beat in rhythm with his. He places little kisses up and down her small face. On her chubby little cheeks and her cute bottom nose, making her scrunch it up and let out soft giggles.
It’s strange to be the man he is and act so gently with another human being. But it feels so right.
His eyes find (Y/N)’s across the room, filled with tears though this time they are happy ones. With an outreached hand he beckons her over and pulls her onto the couch and into the hug.
This is right. Nothing has ever felt this real. This happy. This perfect.
His girls cuddle into him with nothing but love filling their hearts. This is the life he wants, the one he has always wanted. The life he fought for. The life he will never stop fighting for.
Steve was wrong. They aren’t his second chance.
They’re his only chance.
His destiny.
His family.
His home.
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TAGLIST:  @stayherefor-evermore  - @booksb4looksstuff​ - @captainofallfandoms - @charmed-asylum​
518 notes · View notes
teklarn · 3 years
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𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾
character(s): katuski bakugou x gn!reader 
a/n : y’all this was gonna be for kirishima bc i love possessive kiri but like it works so well with bakugou. first part will be from third pov, following parts will be from second pov (reblogs are greatly appreciated !! <3)
summary: bakugou x gn!reader. they have feelings for one another but have no idea how to express them, however y/n has someone pining for their attention. 
genre: uhh idk a lil bit teeny-weeny dash of angst i guess 
warnings: mild cursing, possessive bakugou, mutual pining, jealousy, aged-up to third year, possessive y/n, love triangle (square?), implied manga spoilers but not directly stated, tiny bitta tokage slander (sorry lol), slow burn romance (like SLOWWW SLOW BURN), lowkey enemies to lovers, like a lotta tension between bakugou and y/n 
word count: 3k
UNEDITED w/ minimal or no typos. i shoved it into grammarly’s ass and prayed for the best okay 
here’s pt 2 loves <3
- - - 
y/n was used to picking and their skin, irritated at the girls fawning over bakugou. they were always on the sidelines, watching from afar, jealousy warping their heart. could these stupid girls not see that bakugou didn’t even care for their attention? 
this time it was setsuna tokage who was begging for his eyes on her. y/n assumed it started in their first year when they’d been put against one another when the classes still had a clashing rivalry. (they still did, much more tame now, however.) 
she leaned forwards, tugging on his short sleeve. bakugou’s uniform jacket was slung over one shoulder. he’d lost a lot of his angry demeanor from when he was younger, however it was easy to tell when he was pissed. it was inevitable he wasn’t going to lose his temper entirely. 
it was easy to ignore the girls—most of the time, at least. what was ticking y/n off the most was the fact that bakugou didn’t seem pissed at all. his face was neutral, almost like the perfect mirror of todoroki on a daily basis. his eyes were not fired up in his usual ‘get the hell off of me’ manner. he was relaxed. 
it didn’t seem like he reciprocated tokage’s feelings, however he wasn’t doing anything to get her off him and it was pissing y/n off to no end. 
her sensuous lips were pushed into a slight pucker as she spoke, arching her back in a manner that made it appear much more provocative than she probably intended. 
bakugou stood there, eyes flicking from her grasp on his sleeve and back up to her eyes. he didn’t say anything, didn’t move, only kept looking her up and down. not in a romantic way, of course. right? 
y/n scoffed at themselves. they swallowed the lump in their throat, shoving down the pinging envy in their chest with it. why wasn’t he reacting? 
heat rushed to y/n’s cheeks. why do i care? 
tokage was nearing his face. she didn’t have any intent to press her lips to his, which y/n was more than glad for. 
y/n had come to the conclusion they had feelings for the explosive boy weeks ago. perhaps they always had, but now that they were fully conscious of them... gosh, it was frustrating. 
“you’re staring again.” 
y/n turned to see kirishima, the only other person who knew about their feelings for bakugou. he’d lost the twinkle in his eyes after first year. he’d picked up a dominating sneer and a withering glare reserved for anyone who desired to cross his friends. everyone at UA had after what went down. it was a shock most of them survived anything. 
“so?” y/n snapped, shoving their hands away and kicking a pebble before them. kirishima and y/n continued their walk through the courtyard. 
“so it makes you look creepy.” 
“no, it doesn’t. he didn’t even notice me.” 
kirishima snapped his fingers. “partially my point here. that’s bakugou katsuki, you really think he’s going to notice you?” 
“excuse me?” 
kirishima pursed his lips, twiddling his thumbs. “i didn’t mean it like that, y/n. it’s just...well, he has so much to work for.” 
y/n raised a brow, questioning his nervous antics. 
he continued. “bakugou works hard. probably the hardest worker in UA aside from midoriya. and it’s bakugou. he doesn’t really see a point in relationships. you know that.” 
“it’s not like i’m looking for anything with him, though. gosh, kirishima, you’re acting like this is some school girl crush.” 
he tilted his head, giving y/n a look that screamed, are you really sure it’s not though? 
y/n huffed out a breath, crossing their arms. they’d already vomited up their feelings, why all of a sudden call it a crush? sure, it was a tiny crush that was no larger than the brain of a dinosaur. 
“i can swear that it isn’t, kirishima. you’re looking too deep into things,” y/n defended once again. 
the red-head held his hands up in surrender, sucking his lips in to avoid another snarky comment slipping out. 
the two looked up at the towering building that had been home to them for the past three years: Heights Alliance. 
during their second year, the teachers had settled with having the dorms set up in a way that allowed the students’ rooms to be set up in a gender-neutral fashion. they’d been able to select new dorms beside whomever they wished. rooming next to kirishima was a blast, but the only person bakugou wanted to room next to was him. 
mina had moved in next to you, and kaminari to her right, and sero right across from y/n. 
y/n had no issue being squished between a group notorious for their goofiness and ability to never take anything seriously, however (especially on weekends) they were exceptionally loud to the point they were sure China could hear the blaring music. 
friday was finally going to be over in a few hours. y/n felt a giddiness well up inside them, anticipating the weekend. it’d been a rough few days, for everyone, not just them. 
class 1A had been bombarded with assignments and pop quizzes. y/n was lucky they finished it all in class. some of the homework was finished when they’d sacrificed their precious free time to get it done, but in the end, it was worth it all. 
y/n let their bag sag down their arms as they entered Heights Alliance. 
bakugou had just been asked out on a date. for the third time. first time, he’d denied. second time, he had to shove tokage off him. third time, he’d calmly accepted her offer, and she’d skipped away with more than a smile. 
she’d squeezed his bicep, gave him a wink and an unnecessary peck on the cheek that bakugou had wiped off the moment she turned her back. he was now in his bathroom and, despite her not wearing any lipstick, he was scrubbing his cheek raw so that the skin was a blotchy red. 
the date was tonight, and he found himself wanting to go, and questioning why he accepted in the first place. 
bakugou forgot about tokage the second he won that match his first year and tossed her in the cage. he only noticed her when she and her group of friends giggled and passed by. (it was mostly her chortling, but whatever.) 
he continued rubbing his cheek aggressively with a scratchy towel. he was repulsed by how he had stood there without bothering to snap at her to leave him alone for the third time. 
instead, bakugou’s mind had buffered, and if he was in a video game, he had surely glitched. he should probably just tell tokage he didn’t want to go anymore. in fact, he never wanted to go in the first place and wants to jump out his window and escape. 
it was almost comedic. the thought of him going out on a date? goodness, he wanted to throw up. 
as he continued scrubbing the cloth along his cheek, bakugou found himself more than grateful for how much his quirk made him sweat. if it wasn’t for the nitroglycerin-like substance he produced, his skin would be scratched and dried up. 
a knock sounded at his door. silence came, until the knock found its way to his ears. a set of three knocks, then five, then it was a needy banging. 
whoever was on the other side heard his audible groan and shuffling feet dragging across the floor, because they knocked a lot harder. 
he swung the door open, hinges crying out. 
bakugou’s upper lip curled in disgust. tokage twirled her hair around a finger, eyelashes sticking together with mascara. “katsuki,’ she greeted. 
his eyes narrowed on her. “don’t call me that.” 
“what should I be calling you, then? baby? or honey?” 
oh yes, bakugou wanted to vomit. what even was her name again? whatever, it didn’t matter. “lizard teeth, listen. i-” 
“lizard teeth? why would you address me like that?” 
“because i don’t know your damn name, alright? i don’t-” 
“tokage. need me to spell it out for you?” 
“no. shut up. i need to-” 
“you should remember it, because i was one of the few who got in through recommendations, remember?” 
“and yet here you are in class 1B. can you shut the hell up now?” 
“well, you’re just being shitty.” 
“why are you here, tokage.” more of a demand than a question, as bakugou’s questions always came across if he ever bothered to ask them. 
“because, for our date tonight, I need to pick up some things and I really hope you’re up for coming with me.” 
“no.” 
“please?” 
“no. stop pushing. and I don’t want to-” 
“come on, grouchy.” tokage activated her quirk, one scale slipping into his dorm and pushing him towards her. she gripped the collar of his shirt and grinned. “come with me for a short bit, and I’ll count that as our date, m’kay?” 
bakugou opened his mouth once more to protest, but tokage silenced him by pressing one slender finger to his lips. 
“I’m fully aware you don’t want to go on this date with me.” 
he relaxed, shoulders slumping. if bakugou was younger, if he was even just a little bit more stubborn as he had been before, perhaps he’d be out of this mess already, or never in it in the first place. 
tokage let her hand fall back to her side—both of them. the scale returned to her lower calf; the jet-black leggings she wore now had a perfect hole in them.
“do you think i’m dense, bakugou?” 
“then why ask me out?” bakugou felt himself leaning back. 
“because if i can get under the skin of that stupid little...what do you like to call them? stupid little extras? yeah, that stupid extra who can’t stop fluttering googly-eyes at you every minute, then i’ll be perfectly content.” 
“who the hell are you talking about?” 
“alright, so you are oblivious.” tokage took a step back and crossed her arms. “are you both unaware of how you’ve both been pining for each other’s attention? y/n, that classmate of yours.” 
“...y/n?” 
“do you know their name or do i have to describe in excruciating detail what they look like?” 
“no, no i know who you’re talking about. but you’ve got to be shitting me, alright? there’s nothing there.” 
“i’m from 1B, and if there’s something going on in 1A, monoma is going to tell us.” 
“shithead, get out of my face.” 
“you still have to go out with me.” 
“why the f-” 
“because, bakugou. if you don’t, i’ll be sure to make sure y/n knows about your feelings, whether they’re real or not.” 
“why would they care? more importantly, why would you care?” 
y/n kicked their feet up and down, a lollipop in their left hand, phone in their other. kirishima was in his bathroom while y/n was playing a game on their phone. they’d stashed away a bunch of candy back in their dorm and had snatched a handful for the two of them to share while hanging out in kirishima’s. 
he was currently combing a hand through his hair, and then proceeded to rummage through his cabinets. 
kirishima emerged with his lips puckered. “want to come to the  drug mart with me?” he stuck a thumb to his door. 
“what for?” y/n didn’t take a glance away from their phone. 
“this.” he chuckled softly. when y/n looked up, kirishima had two fingers parting his hair. the roots were a jet black, just growing long enough to become the slightest bit visible. 
“you’re going to fry your hair.” they were already shoving their phone away and tossing their sucker into the trash bin. 
“it’s a monthly tradition to do this, y/n. it would be fried by now if i was bad at it,” he joked, tapping his roots once more. 
y/n laughed alongside him as they exited the room. 
-
it was late, and the lights made everything feel like it was set in a world of backrooms. when the rest of the world is sleeping, it is more than quiet, and nothing feels real―possibly in the best ways. 
kirishima scratched at his chin, staring intensely at the hair-dye boxes lined neatly on the shelf before them. 
y/n tapped their foot, not out of impatience, but because of the creep staring at them through the aisle. yes, through. 
between the boxes of hair dye and scattered makeup products, the beady eyes of setsuna tokage could be seen. she smirked when she tugged her hostage closer. 
bakugou’s height had shot up to around six feet in the past two years, so all that was visible was his chest and the black sweatshirt loosely hanging off it, however his grumbling and stream of colorful language was unmistakable. it was him. 
“you okay?” 
y/n’s head snapped to their friend. “what?” 
“you seem on edge. is something wrong?” 
“nothing. nothing is wrong.” 
“you sure? if you need to talk, i’m here.” 
“yeah, yeah, i’m okay. don’t worry.” 
“alright.” kirishima held up a box, wiggling it in one hand. “got it.” he gave y/n a toothy grin. 
“good.” y/n snatched his arm up and dragged him along. 
“woah,” kirishima released a breathy chuckle, tugging his arm back. “what’s got you in a hurry?” 
“nothing,” y/n said, shrugging. “just wanna get home.” 
gosh, kirishima knew them too well. his eyes squinted just a bit, and there was that playful grin lingering on his lips, just ghosting over his face, barely visible to anyone who didn’t know him. instead of pointing out the obvious, which was standing just a few aisles behind, kirishima decided to play around. “goodness, honey, the kids are going to be fine back home.” 
heat raced to y/n’s face. “what?” 
kirishima winked. “it’s nice that you care about them, but care about me a little, would’ya? i miss you, too,” he said a tad louder. 
this caught bakugou’s attention. his eyes clashed with y/n’s, and he didn’t look away until y/n did. even a few seconds after, y/n still felt the blaring heat of his gaze upon them.
kirishima slung an arm around his friend, enjoying their flustered image. of course, he would never even think about pushing boundaries. the thought never crossed his mind, but he knew they’d let him know if they were uncomfortable. 
when y/n looked back as kirishima led them away, bakugou’s jaw was clenched, and his eyes were alight with jealousy. 
of course, y/n didn’t notice the emotion flaring. 
tokage smirked, clutching his loose sleeve. 
y/n looked back to their friend, and kirishima flashed them another knowing smile. bakugou was getting antsy with his best friends’ hands all over y/n. well, not all over, but a tap on the shoulder was enough. 
despite the way kirishima’s face dropped, y/n swiped his arm away and wandered over to tokage a bit more angrily than intended. they glanced up to bakugou, who was reaching up to retrieve something for tokage. 
“what brings you guys here? didn’t expect to see you.” inside, y/n was screaming. gosh, their heart was angry. 
“just running errands together.” 
bakugou? going for errands? with tokage? 
“cool, cool,” y/n said, nodding. “i was doing the same with kirishima.” they paused, awkward silence filling the space. 
impatient as ever, bakugou tossed the item into tokage’s basket and clicked his tongue. 
y/n didn’t know why. why were they being so stubborn? despite their protesting thoughts and their entire body screaming to hold back, y/n wrapped their fingers around bakugou’s wrist. 
“actually, bakugou, i have something to ask you. i need your opinion on it. you’re smart, right?” y/n’s voice lifted at the end. although they couldn’t see the, what the hell are you doing face kirishima was making behind them as subtly as possible, they could definitely feel the glare burning into their back. 
“tch, of course i’m smart, shithead.” 
“good.” 
“we’re actually kind of in a rush,” tokage spat out, snappier than usual. 
“do you think i fight okay? i need someone  with a perspective like yours to know if i do.” 
“what kind of question is that, dumbass? i don’t care if you can fight well or not, just so long as i can beat the shit outta ya.” 
tokage let out a low growl. 
y/n smirked, hand still around bakugou’s wrist. “i’d like to know if i can beat you, then, so you can tell me if i’m good or not.” 
ohgoshohgoshohgosh where was this coming from? 
bakugou squinted. he leaned in closer, like he didn’t hear them. “speak up.” 
y/n knew he heard them correctly, but he got awfully close. 
feeling a little sneaky themselves, y/n ghosted their fingers over his strong jaw, tilting his head closer so they could speak clearly into his ear. “let’s train together,” y/n said, staring tokage dead in the eyes. 
it was a stupid rivalry, really. they’d both been accepted through recommendations. they’d been friends all throughout middle school, and yet when y/n made it into 1A, tokage felt it a necessity to excel at everything and rub it in their face. no way was y/n letting them get away with this. 
“i want to see how strong i am.” y/n let their voice drop just a bit. “you’re strong, right?” 
“are you taunting me?” bakugou said, voice nearly a whisper. he still hadn’t moved from leaning down and hadn’t bothered to move y/n’s fingertips from his jaw. 
“absolutely not.” y/n sent a small grin in the direction of their rival. “let’s just see who can beat who. we’ve never been against one another like this.” 
tokage huffed, tugging bakugou back. his eyes were softened when they met y/n’s, and there was simmering, small grin on his face. 
tokage, however, looked less intrigued. “he’s not your boyfriend.” 
y/n shrugged, already backing away. they spread their arms in a mockery of surrender. “he’s not yours, either.” 
343 notes · View notes
pbscore · 3 years
Text
Anyways…I love children. I love taking care of children. I love listening to the youngest of them giggle and babble and learn how to speak!
I love making sure preteens and teenagers are getting the attention and respect they deserve and aren’t being shamed and judged for their (harmless) interests. I love engaging with the new generation of kids and teens because it’s important to me that they encounter respectful and accountable adults who they don’t feel uncomfortable or scared around, therefore giving them a better idea of how to go about having decent social interactions with other people.
I’m over this idea that there is even a ‘generational’ divide when the same toxic behaviors that millennials and boomers will complain about in gen z are the SAME exact ones that you can find in literally ANY other generation. And millennials especially have no right to act like they’re ‘better’ than younger generations when only ten years ago, the youngest of us millennials were dealing with condescending crap from boomers over anything we would do. We already went through dealing with shitty, unhealed adults trying to tell us who to be and what to do, even when it was harmful for our health. That doesn’t mean that now that we are actual adults, we’re suddenly ‘free’ from any criticism, especially from the new generation.
So to all the young folks out there, whether you’re a teen or a young adult now, just know that people older than you are not always these ‘trusted’ wells of wisdom who have your best interests at heart. Some folks will look out for you and can take criticism on their own behavior and may also be very accountable, but there are still many who have internalized so much bitterness that seeing someone younger than them being happy or achieving greatness will ruffle their feathers and make them condescending as hell. Don’t let that steer you away from doing what makes you happy.
The new generations are not inherently ‘more cursed’ or ‘more evil’ or anything like that. It literally seems like it to older people because social media and the internet at large simply amplifies terrible things for views and there are countless people, from all generations, who will take advantage of that for any kind of attention that could get them easy money.
So anyways…yeah, I love kids and love being a decent role model for the newer generations because they don’t deserve to deal with uptight, snotty adults who still think liking Harry Potter is a personality trait and that they can do no wrong just because they’re over the age of 25 😂
EDIT: I stand by what I said and y’all can feel free to reblog it if you want. If you clown on this post (or in my inbox 😉), I’m blocking you.
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