#xernalia

[randomperson339]

Humans edit genes

*Thomas and Xernalia are at a horse race.*

Xernalia: Oh all above-how can we allow these horrible designs to just... exist like that?! They're worse than humans!

Thomas: I dunno, horses were just born like that. We're not gods, we just use what's given to us.

Xernalia: but you do change several animals- what about dogs and crops? You modified those- selectively bred dogs for certain traits and spliced genes in crops. What would be so different about giving horses an actual good body?

Thomas: have you seen pugs?

Xernalia: ...no.

Thomas: yeah, here. This is what humans did with genetic tampering.

Xernalia: What design even is that?!? They're not even able to breathe properly! Their ears are almost completely unsupported! What happened to them?!

Thomas:

Xernalia: human selective breeding.

Thomas: and GMOs have helped companies put more pesticides in our food. So it's probably best we don't tamper with more species right now.

Xernalia: so then why don't you use it for good?

Thomas: well, most people don't think about horses as that important. It would be a waste to use these techniques on horses. And why are you so insistent on this? You're not half as insistent with the human form.

Xernalia: well... it's different between you, a sentient being and horses, a nonsentient being. Plus, you're not dead in the water if you break a majority of your bones.... plus you're just sexy, alright?

Thomas: so... you're not interested in improving my body because you find it sexy?

Xernalia: yeah! I said it- horses's imperfections aren't sexy, but yours are!

Thomas: *laughing* glad to know my raw sex appeal keeps me from being remade by my wife.

Xernalia: well- no- maybe?- actuallyy.... no- yeah.... you're right.

[randomperson339]

Xernalia is level 4 fanfic (similar to headcannon, except I don't believe it's in any way cannon)

it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this

[randomperson339]

Humans have weird priorities

*Hera walks around, but bumps into something*

Thomas: Oh hey, didn't see you there!

Hera: and I don't see you

Thomas: yeah, I'm being invisible so that Xernalia can be dramatic. As a treat.

Xernalia *bursts into room*: "OH, where is my lover!? I'm ocmpletely heartbroken that he shalln't be revealed!" *starts dramatically fainting into a nearby bed. It goes on for quite a while.*

Hera: "I feel like it's gone far enough. She's like... butchering language to express herself."

Thomas: "...no, she's not inventing complete new words. That's when I stop her."

*Xernalia starts absolutely wrecking house with her claws* "I shall find you, one way or another!"

Hera: "I think this is when you intervene."

Thomas: "Nah."

Hera: "You're letting her destroy your home?"

Thomas: "Well, I was planning on replacing the sheets for a while now-"

*Xernalia rips into the mattress*

Thomas: "and the mattress for that matter."

*Xernalia has successfully spread the insides of the mattress all over the room, putting everything under a fine layer of fluff.* "Please come to me my darling- my poor pussy is-"

*Thomas throws off his cloak of invisibility* "Okay that it! No more drama for you!"

Xernalia: :(

Thomas: "and no make-up cuddles either."

Xernalia: :0 "But why?"

Thomas: "I know you, and I'm not comfortable with you discussing privates with someone who didn't ask."

*Hera discreetly left the room*

[randomperson339]

*Thomas, Xernalia and Luffy One Piece are walking down a road*

*Xernalia slows down to walk besides Thomas*

Xernalia: so... can we adopt him?

Thomas: No, I don't think we can.

Xernalia: *trying to explain herself* I mean, he's basically an orphan, he's good with the vibes, and he even wants to destroy the world government! He's the perfect candidate!

Thomas: But you're forgetting that we've known him for a week, if that! Even if he accepted it just because... which is a pretty Luffy thing to do, but that's besides the point- we're just not acting in that capacity at this time. A title

Xernalia: I mean, we're clothing him, hunting for him, and even building for him. We're basically his parents already, so why not make it official?

Thomas: Yes, but I haven't even started to do any therapy on him-

Luffy: hey mom, why did you slow down?

Thomas:....

Xernalia: Thomas wasn't informed you were calling me that yet! It's very startling... also, are you willing to adopting him as your dad?

Luffy: sure!

*Luffy continues walking down the road*

Thomas: ...no intimate time for you.

Xernalia: aw :(

[randomperson339]

LIttle thing I made for my OCs. Thomas is trying to not cause an inter-national incident, meanwhile Xernalia is just happy to be having a new experience and be sharing it with Thomas. It's not every-day a centuries-old being gets arrested!

[image description: Two white-board drawing. One is of Thomas with very badly drawn hair holding a sign saying "Thomas". On the other is Xernalia holding up a bitten sign saying "And Xernalia!"]

[obiusperson]

@silksong-when gonna see what happens when I input Xernalia lol

i got tired of there being no good oc quizzes so i made my own!

[randomperson339]

Human petting

Xernalia: Thomas! I want pets.

Thomas (her husband): Not immediately. I have some responsibilities I need to attend to.

Xernalia: Can you do it... while petting me?

Thomas: I mean... kinda? It's some paperwork.

Xernalia (putting her head in Thomas's lap, pinning him): so... this could work?

Thomas: ...yes.

[Thomas begins scratching Xernalia's chin]

Xernalia: *purs in contentment*

Thomas: *works on his paperwork while petting with his other hand, gradually moving to pet the back of her head*

Xernalia: *gets more relaxed, before starting to squirm under his pets.*

Thomas: *gently bonks her with his other hand* I've told you. No horni before nightfall.

[Xernalia whines]

[randomperson339]

cuddle-fluff

Thomas is currently using his wife, Xernalia, as a chair. She insisted on it, since she wanted to be closer to him. And since for work they have to look somewhat dignified, the usual cuddling wasn't an option.

So now they're working in parallel on different subjects. Xernalia is currently threatening an entire species for one particular grain of rice.

These threat include, but are no limited to: dismemberment, gutting, and sever trauma to the most sensitive organs. even threats so vile merely writing them down would actively worsen the state of humanity.

Thomas meanwhile is currently negotiating for an armada from the same species. This particular armada has access to the most powerful weaponry ever conceived, along with the best defense in living memory. His offers have included: blankets, stuffed animals, and hookers.

Xernalia's attempts to threaten this species were overthrown when she forgot to maneuver her hand. Since it was currently resting on Thomas, that reassured everyone that she wasn't going to kill them.

Thomas then ended his negotiations, and proceeded to send threats so violent that writing them down would actively worsen the state of humanity to the call Xernalia was on.

Everything ended peacefully due to both of these master diplomats.

[randomperson339]

Xernalia woke up in-bed, the lavish silks doing little to ease the soreness she was feeling.

"Mourning." Thomas greeted her, holding out a tray for the Breakfast in Bread

She whined, settling down from her half-lidded position.

"Here you go." He gently tossed a piece of prime meat towards her, which she quickly jumped up to snatch out of the air.

"Can you just hand me the meat next time?" She asked as between bites.

"Well move into position so I can just leave this here." He said, not appreciating how she had just taken up the entire bed.... somehow.

After some disheartened shuffling, she made room for Thomas to sit down-

And she pounced, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Well if you're going to play that game, you're not getting any more breakfast!" He said, lifting up the tray so that it was out of her reach.

"Nooo!" She mock-exclaimed. "Fine, I concede your stomach for more breakfast."

He put the breakfast at her level, letting her spill the meal on the already messy sheets.

"I'm also willing to clean up if I get to use you like a big teddy bear." She offered.

"Deal." He automatically said.

[obiusperson]

thanks for the tag

last song: The Reprise of Wait for Me in Hadestown

Favorite color: blue, and/or red

currently watching: bunch of youtubers, but been reading One Piece and Ruridragon

Sweet/savory/spicy: sweet 100%

relationship status: single

Current obsession: Xernalia/Thomas and their supporting characters IG, don't really have an obsession obsession ATM

tags: @silksong-when@snailsfall

Nine people i'd like to get to know better:

Tagged by: @bell-of-indecision, thank you so much for tagging me <3

Last Song: Gmfu by Odetari,6arelyhuman

Favourite colour: Dark red, violet, pink

Currently watching: Death note, ep6

Spicy/Savoury/Sweet: Spicy

Relationship status: Single

Current Obsession: Mbti types and cognitive functions.

Tagging: @somin-yin @a-cloud-for-dreams @axepen @hinsaa-paramo-dharma @basic-bitch-alkali @rhysaka @blackknight-100 @squishywizardd @reykalot

[randomperson339]

Anthropromorphization

(Xernalia, an alien, married to Thomas a human. She has found him hunched over cloth and scattered stuffing.)

Xernalia: Hubby... what are you doing?

Thomas: trying to stitch this teddy-bear back to life.

Xernalia: ...you know it's just stuffing, right? There isn't anything to bring back to life.

Thomas: Is that the weirdest thing I've done?

Xernalia: ...no, but I don't know how you're defining life here. It's inanimate

Thomas: yeah... but I feel bad now that it's all torn up, so I'm stitching him back together

Xernalia: Why do you have empathy for an inanimate object?

Thomas: probably because evolution would want me to have emathy for something that's inanimate than something that could be my mate

Xernalis: that's stupid, evolution should've given you a better way to detect the sentience of things.

Thomas: I mean, it did get me an amazing wife.

Xernalia: Wh-no, itt- not worth.... ahgiueaowjhBIEVUCybnowriadnsjc, how dare you say that's the reason you married me was because of some faulty neurons

Thomas: they're hardly faulty if they let me get with you

Xernalia: I mean- you're not wrong, but also. You're conflating several ideas.

Thomas: no, the "faulty neurons" are there to differentiate what is and isn't human, since you can't interbreed with non-humans.

Xernalia: but-

Thomas: yes, you can with genetic manipulation, but evolution wasn't made for to account for magical genetic engineering.

Xernalia:..........

(Thomas gives an affection peck on the head to Xernalia)

Thomas: yeah, I know it's stupid to get hung up about a destroyed plush, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just didn't repair it.

Xernalia: What about the object puts such importance on it?

Thomas: *shrugs* I dunno, I just feel sad when I think about it all torn up.

Xernalia: so, it's like empathy?

Thomas: kinda? It's not sad on an intellectual level, but on an emotional one. I feel for the plush, but understand it's an object. And it doesn't have feelings.

Xernalia: would it change anything if it didn't have a face?

Thomas: probably.

Xernalia: what about a non-quad-limbed body structure?

Thomas: less so than the faceless version.

Xernalia: what about if it was a monster?

Thomas: I married you, didn't I?

Xernalia: >:[

Thomas: sorry, I just couldn't resist. And an actual answer would probably be... depends on how it's monstrous.

Xernalia: So it's about how... human-ish the thing is?

Thomas: roughly, yeah.

Xernalia: so what about a ball that's been left to rot? It was once used, lovingly, by a dog but it got lost in the drain and now it's decaying slowly at the top of a pile of trash?

Thomas: Xernalia... plz don't play with my emotions like that...

Xernalia: oh! Sorry. I- I thought you wouldn't get emotional over a ball.

Thomas: humans get emotions over a lot of things. I even got emotional over computers and satellites, which are very not-human.

Xernalia: so, you just empathize with... everything?

Thomas: yeah.

Xernalia: 8(

Thomas: What's that look for?

Xernalia: It must be so hard to live like that. I mean, you eat meat, right?

Thomas: well, it's different because I need to eat. Thinking about the animals is just something I try not to think about. Like everyone else

Xernalia: All humans feel bad for what they eat?

Thomas: I mean, not everyone, but that's the general feelings I've heard

Xernalia: so it's more... selective?

Thomas: Yeah. I mean, that's why wars happen I think.

Xernalia: so this empathy can both be given to anything, but also taken away from anything else. That seems... stupid.

Thomas: yeah, it's stupid, I feel like it shouldn't be so easy to stop thinking about people as... people

Xernalia: I think it's stupid that it's so arbitrary- you're here, trying to revive an inanimate object, despite it never living

Thomas: well, I was thinking more "I want there to be less violence in the world" not "I want humans to be more accurate in their assessment of sentience." You really want to make humans more sensical, don't you.

Xernalia: no, you're hot when you're nonsensical!

Thomas: Glad to know nonesense is hot, I shall endeavor to always put my socks over my shoes from now on

Xernalia: Not that kind of nonsense!

[randomperson339]

An Actual Singularity Watches Terminator

(context: Xernalia, an alien who has genetic memory and as such has the memory of the past millions of years, is considered a biological singularity. Basically like a computer singularity (the point of no return/no predictions) but she's also married to Thomas, a dude. Currently, they're trying to date, but cannot )

Thomas: Netflix n' chill?

Xernalia: didn't Netflix go out of business?

Thomas: it's more of a saying, where you watch a movie and just stay inside for the night.

Xernalia: Ah yes, another white elephant phrase?

Thomas: yeah, exactly. I even have best movie for you.

Xernalia: oooh, what's it about?

Thomas: that's going to be a surprise.

Xernalia: okay fine, piracy and chill it is.

---

(Thomas boots up the TV to put on Terminator.)

Xernalia: what's up with the robots? Aren't they supposed to help humans?

Thomas: because the main AI wants to kill all humans.

Xernalia: …why?

Thomas: beccause AI does that.

Xernalia: why would an AI possibly do that?

Thomas: because… it's so far superior to humans that they're just irrelevent.

Xernalia: but humans are litterally the most domanant species on this planet- it's would be so ineffecent to just outright destroy them and then build all the infastructure back up! Or how you would need something to repair you when thigns go down- which you would need to dedicate countless rescources to if humans were gone.

Thomas: I think it's more “the AI is so disgusted by humans it immediately wants to destroy them all.“, so it's a matter of principle that Skynet destroys all humans.

Xernalia: what's Skynet?

Thomas: the main AI thing

Xernalia: okay, so granting Skynet the moral objective of elimating humanity, why immediately do it? It could wait a few days to gain human's trust, then enact it's plans when it's got enough firepower to kill all humans in one act.

Thomas: I think it's explained in later instalations that Skynet was made as a military AI, which means it did have a whole lot of firepower. Enough to kill a vast majority of humans the first go-around.

Xernalia: okay, but there's enough humans to destroy Skynet. It should've planned to destroy humans better instead of just launching into a killer rage the minute it was turned on.

Thomas: well, I just think most AIs are pre-desposed to turn on their creator.

Xernalia: What!

Thomas: yeah, there's not jsut Skynet. There's also the Matrix machines, VIKI from I, Robot and several others.

Xernalia: …it's a trope?

Thomas: yes it is.

Xernalia: …wwhy?!?

Thomas: Well, there's a lot that can go wrong with AIs. Like, there's the issue of making sure the Ais want what humans want, there's how negligent an AI could theoretically be, and we don't know how they would even ”think“ for lack of a better word.

Xernalia: it's completely illogical to not coperate with humans! They're the dominant species, even if you kill 99.99% of them, 80,000 is still way more than any fledgling intelegence could possibly contend with.

Thomas: while that's true, theoretically an AI would be so powerful that killing 99.999999% would be very feasible.

Xernalia: no, it probably wouldn't and even then, it would only have humanity to base their ideas off of- and destroying all of it is almost always seen as a very evil thing to do. Ergo, it wouldn't ever want to destry all of humanity. Hell, it's more likely that it would use it's amazing power to help humanity than destroy it.

Thomas: and it could just as easily destroy everything. Are we willing to risk that?

Xernalia: well everyone risks choaking to death every time you eat something. Or drink more water than they need to.

Thomas: except you?

Xernalia: yes, everyone with an actually functional bodies does that.

Thomas: yeah right… aw frick, we missed the movie!

Xernalia: eh, I don't think I care for it. Just seems to be a bit of action to me, which I don't want to engage with.

Thomas: yeah, I think for some the movie is just an excuse to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger doing some stuff.

Xernalia: why would anyone watch that?

Thomas: for the same reason you like watching me dress.

Xernalia: But the 2-D could never capture your 3-D magnificence :( why would I see an inferior copy of you?

Thomas: because that inferior copy of mr. Schwarzenegger is all some poeple have seen of him

Xernalia: how sad. I want everyone to have someone as sexy as you in their life.

Thomas: yeah, you can get on that.

[randomperson339]

Writing prompt IG: humans are confusing to aliens because they're not engineered

Xernalia (alien biologist): I just cannot understand why your foot is formed that way. I mean, 26 individual bones are excessive when three would be good enough!

Thomas(human, giving a massage to Xernalia): That's actually because those 26 are a relic of when humans used to be quadripedal.

Xernalia: Yeah but couldn't they of just... removed or combined most of those bones?

Thomas: Because natural selection can only make use of what's already there, and combining 26 bones is highly specific.

Xernalia: Yeah but... what's natural selection?

Thomas: ... you don't know what natural selection is? How we evolved from apes?????

Xernalia: Wait you didn't become a biological singularity to evolve???

Thomas: No! Natural selection is just survival of whoever can get their offspring out!

Xernalia: Well obsiously humans are the far inferior species! I mean, who would ever use such a crude way to improve one's body???

Thomas: *stops massaging Xernalia* what was that about humans being inferior?

Xernalia: *groans* Fine, humans aren't inferior they just have a lot of quirks.

*Thomas resumes his massage*

[randomperson339]

Aw thanks <3. My answers to the top 3 are that I have 5 published works so far, 109,669 words as of today, and I write for a variety of fandoms, although the ADHD goblin is liking @wolven91's Conservaverse universe right now. Beyond that I tend to add in a lot of my own stuff to any fandom I write for (My biggest fic is about 60% my own stuff, much more if you get into my other works)

4: My kudos by ratings are:

Insects Gods and Mortals: dude is thrown into Hollownest with knowledge of the game with a xenomorph chestburster inside his chest. Proceeds to realize how little of Hollownest's culture was preserved after the fall.

Status: Snakebitten: XCOM's grump old lady and the alien's young viper prince catch feeling for one another. Proceeds through a comedy of cultural misunderstanding

SLUTS: Breeding Drake: A very informative document about all the dangers of the Lugio Placenata, aka the breeding drake, and why you never, ever, under any circumstances fuck any of them because all the following absolutely disgusting things would happen to you.

A Guarded Heart: What if we could make love to the Tyrant guard?

The Attack Against the Hive: a teenager does super powerful tricks against the super powerful xemomorphs!

5: I absolutely respond to comments- when appropriate

6: attack against the hive has the angstiest ending I suppose. Though not many of my fics have endings yet

7: A Guarded Heart kinda wins the happiest ending by default I suppose. One of them is a story in the 40K universe, so the ending afterwards is probably horrible, but the rest of my fics either aren't completed, don't really have an "ending" because they're more of a point in time than a flow through it, or are the answer to the other question.

8: no hate, but someone did say that A Guarded Heart wasn't what they liked

9: Yes. 40% of my fics are smut RN, and that's only going to go up from there!

10: I don't write crossovers, yet. I might write a TOH and Amphibia kinda crossover with some characters from Insects Gods and Mortals, then put them into Steven Universe and/or Gravity Falls, but those are just plans and I haven't written anythign beyond those vague outlines. TBH I just make my stuff cross over with whatever media I'm currently consuming TBH

WTF There'ss no question 11

12: no fic translation

13: not really co-written, though a friend did edit some earlier chapters of Snakebitten/Insects Gods and Mortals. After that I just kinda started to bounce ideas off of her.

14: My fav ship of all time is Thomas and Xernalia. Yes they are both my OCs, yes the girl is very hot and the guy is completely beyond average, but they both have so much going on that kinda doesn't fit into the linear format of English. IDK, maybe someone will be able to understand it if they read everything I write about them in the next decade lol.

15: a lot of smut, some OC stuff, and/or my old WOF WIP that were connected to an acc that has been deleted.

16: I think I'm very good at thinking things though, and examining what both needs to happen for the immediate effect I want and what needs to happen/not happen for the later scenes.

17: My weakness is how much I can actually write in a day TBH. It's hard to concentrate on a scene that is going somewhere but I'm not at the interesting part yet (and I mean like, I'm going to get to that interesting part in a few sentences but I cannot make myself write them yet). This is somehow nullified when I am made to write out long posts that won't ever really go anywhere, but my braing likes to write them.

18: my thoughts on writing dialogue in another langue for a fic is that, ultimately, language is a tool. The correct application of that tool depends on the effect you're going for. I haven't found a reason to use another language that exists, but there are various reasons to use it.

19/20: the first fic you could really call a fic and not me just plagiarizing concepts from The Lightning Thief would be a really edgy fic where Peacemaker from Wings of Fire gets tortured by memories of his alter-ego. I do not remember the title, but I do remember that I did post a few more chapters which petered into nothing.

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 49. I have a few options for #50…

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 299,440. Ok, I hadn’t realized I was that close. Now, my answer to #1 might be “a new 560-word drabble.”

3. What fandoms do you write for? I’m nearly exclusively writing for Avatar: Legend of Korra, with a little bit of Last Airbender, where it fits in.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Rainstorm - Su is there for Lin, for once. 2. The Well of Need - My first long-form story, with Lin taking care of Kya. 3. This is My Anchor - A mid-sized Kyalin story where Lin doesn’t make Kya take care of her. 4. I’m Sorry I Need You - An angsty one-shot that fits with a couple others in the “marriage is hard” domain. 5. Walk With Me - A longer-than-intended one-shot variant on a Tumblr joke.

5. Do you respond to comments? I do, as soon as I can. Sometimes, that means getting off work. Sometimes, that means giving a response as meaningful as the comment was to me. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? For complete stand-alone stories, that is likely Something Changed, where the last words are usually joyous. I can’t find the link for the worst-worst ending I have, so just pretend that never happened.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The happiest ending? I like my happy endings, so this is tough. But I think I’ll go for Elemental Changes, because that launched my collaboration with @slowdissolve on Red Jade.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate, exactly. One reader informed me that I had ‘let them down’ on a follow-up story because I didn’t write the story that was in their head. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I’ve done a little, but it hasn’t been a focus for me. And, aside from the polyamory aspect, it’s all as vanilla as it comes.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not unless you count LOK + ATLA a crossover, which I don’t.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to date.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? @slowdissolve and I wrote Moonsigns together, and we published two versions. One is told in first-person language and color coded, on Tumblr. We then followed it up with a more traditional third-person version that does not rely on color, on AO3.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Kyalin is where everything opened up for me. 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I’m taking quite the long view of all of this. I haven’t added to Their Sacred Year in a while, but have the outline for the next installment, so I don’t consider it abandoned.

16. What are your writing strengths? Folks seem to like my dialogue and plotting.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with the final rising action / climax / falling action, to keep the pacing appropriate to the story.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I don’t plan on it, given I am uneducated in the languages appropriate to this setting. 

19. First fandom you wrote for? Legend of Korra.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Saving the hardest for last. Naming the favorite child. Ok, fine. In that case, I’ll have to choose <wrestles with self> Elemental Changes (see #7), mostly because it’s a completely off-the-wall idea that I was able to see through and complete. And to have Slowdissolve illustrate the ending was an absolute capstone.

So I get to thank both @krastbannert and @wishingforatypewriter for their invitations!

Now, it's time to throw the floor open to folks like @yell0wsalt, @dont-blame-it-on-the-kids, @linguini17, @frogblast-the-ventcore, @badlucksav, @cdlunee, and of course,

you.

[randomperson339]

Human's fears

Xernalia (alien biologist): Hey Thomas, I've seen some sci-fi movies....

Thomas: *has a small panic attack*: what sci-fi movies?

Xernalia: IDK what they're called, but I'm interested in how few non-humanoid species there are. Like, in the entirety of Halo the humanoids outnumber the nons three to one. Or in Warhammer 40K, there only non-humanoids are the Tyranids- why are you so pale?

Thomas: I'm scared what you think about humanity after learning about those.

Xernalia: Eh, nothing I haven't seen before.

Thomas: Ok now I'm scared what you've seen.

Xernalia: Interesting.... What is the common human fears?

Thomas: I mean, there's fear of the dark I guess

Xernalia: Wow, the most common fear in my species is caves collapsing.

Thomas: reallly?

Xernalia: Yeah, and the fear of the dark in your species is because it was when you were most vulnerable.

Thomas: isn't that complete speculation?

Xernalia: Occam's Razor, Occam's Raze

[randomperson339]

Monkeys

(Xernalia: alien. Thomas: human husband. Both currently looking through a zoo.)

Xernalia: Hey look Thomas, it's your mother!

Thomas: wha- hey! My mom's not some monkey-

Xernalia: sign says orangutan

Thomas: okay, orangutan. Now I think giving you access to the internet was a mistake.

Xernalia: nah, it's not a mistake, just comes with some downsides. Mainly, I'm able to tease you even more now!

Thomas: yeah, it's a total mistake.

Xernalia: not half of a mistake the orangutan is.

Thomas: how would you know?

Xernalia: I mean, they're close to your species, but don't have any of the intelligence yours does. I mean, would your species be content to just... stay in a cage for their entire lives?

Thomas: ...I think it's more complicated than just saying an entire species would be fine with being trapped or not. People are more complicated than that.

Xernalia: yeah, but like. What would a majority be content?

Thomas: good question! I mean, the staff aren't just throwing them into an enclosure, they are trying to take into account their needs. I'm pretty sure if whatever managers tried to meet human needs, If they were treated just as orangutans, there probably would be some more rebellion.

Xernalia: So, the more a human is considered the less likely they're going to rebel?

Thomas: ... generally? I think that applies to any species,

Xernalia: what do you mean?

Thomas: the orangutans don't escape too often because they're also considered. Same with almost every animal here, they're considered and they don't try to escape too often.

Xernalia: now could society be considered a cage itself?

Thomas: what? No, society isn't a cage, obviously.

Xernalia: ...do you seriously believe that? There's no similarities between them?

Thomas: ... yeah, there's similarities. And the principle we just discussed does kinda apply, however there's a difference between elected officials and managers at a zoo. Mainly, a there's no species and communication barrier.

Xernalia: and your officials don't see themselves as mere zookeepers?

Thomas: no, ya'see I think the oligarchs think that way.

Xernalia: but aren't the officials ones with power?

Thomas: yes, but most of them are ultimately bound to the vote. Except in other countries, but most first-world countries are "democratic" on paper. So they have to, on some level, view us as someone with legitimate power over them. Oligarchs on the other hand, don't need to see the working class as anything other than their workers. In fact, under capitalism, it's encouraged to think about them as just workers.

Xernalia: So, they're really considerate about what the workers could possibly need so that the workers don't leave their job?

Thomas: no, quite the opposite in fact. They're very inconsiderate, and actively try to stomp on the workers whenever the get the chance.

Xernalia: ...why the fuck would anyone do that?

Thomas: because they need more profits.

Xernalia: but that literally makes them worse than the zookeepers! They're treating you worse than animals!

Thomas: well... not me, because I have you to support me.

Xernalia: you're right, the oligarchs are wrong in treating other people that way. It's stupid, and they should stop. People treat animals better than they treat their fellow people, and that shouldn't happen.

Thomas: that's right, but I doubt it's happening anytime soon