#xenons mystery chest

[lairofdragonagelore]

The Strange Idol [analysis]

A compilation of what we know and what we can speculate about the old “Strange Idol”.

[This post belongs to the series “Analysis and speculation of Statues”]

This is a mysterious statue that has appeared in DA2 and DAI in different contexts. In DA2, we find it in three places:  The Harimann’s house basement, atop of the Sundermount, and inside Dumat’s Temple. Its resemblance in style  [shape of limbs, decoration, lines, material] to the Red Idol is worth noting. I already wrote an extensive post about “DA2: The Strange Idol” but I wanted to make a summary here with brief speculations supported by the knowledge of the recent published comics. To understand the context of the idol in DA2 in detail, I suggest reading that post. As I always repeat, DA lore adds a lot when you have the context in which it appears [and also helps you not to go deep into wild theories].

Where do we find this statue in DA games?

It appears for the first time in Merril’s Quest [read Merril and the Eluvian], inside a cave atop of the Sundermount.

In Sebastian’s Quest, placed in the Basement of Harimann’s mansion which turned out to be an ancient Tevinter Ruin. Thanks to Tevinter Nights book we know that having buildings undergrounf was/is a Tevinter costume that keeps existing in Mintharous.  We also know that Kirkwall, historically, has a lot of ruins and chambers below the city itself. This allowed Tevinter mages to do forbidden research or unsafe magic or have cult activities without the authorities’ knowledge.

In a humble temple deep into the Deep Roads, at the base of the tower-prison where Corypheus is held.

It also appears several times in the Black Emporium of DA2, behind and over the mirror of transformation. 

It appears in a cave that you have access by following the Old Chantry Trail Sign, in Western Approach. In there, we learn it’s warm to the touch and has a pulse.

His face appears in some walls along Din'an Hanin, and it’s the central statue in the Elandrin’s Tomb.

Its face appears in the mural the “Removal of the Vallaslin”, located in Elven Mountain Ruins ,  Forgotten Sanctuary

The raw information

So far, details that are worth noticing about this idol:

It has many limbs: two legs and four arms. Other multi-limbered creatures in DA universe are Varterrals [ read DLC: Witch Hunt and The Missing for more varterral’s information], some demons like the envy one, Xenon [ owner of the Black Emporium], and some creatures related to elvhenan paintings [read Nation Art: Elvhen] which in some instance may or may not be related to The Horror of Hormak [Personal Speculation].

Its face is monkey-like or a bit toad-like. Its mouth is open, its eyes a bit squinted. For this reason, it can be related to Elgar’nan through the codex  Vir Dirthara: Signs of Victory, [“narrowed eyes and its open, snarling mouth”] which was analysed in the post Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara.

Its chest and stomach have swirls. One can associate swirls all over the games with lyrium or, in DAI, with Veilfire/Fade and elvhenan gods [the dragon statue that represents Myhtal as well as the howling wolf statue that represents Fen’harel both have swirls along their body]. For more details on this aspect, read the section “Spirals and branching lines as Fade, magic, and lyrium” in the post Murals in DAI: Basics

Its limbs have long carvings, like canals, from which something red can be seen. Given the context of being perceived as Dumat, or as Elgar’nan who may have accepted blood from his defeated enemies [as his codices imply a ruthless, violent, dominant behaviour], one can suspect it is dried blood drips. It’s very subtle, but the red lines in them have been present in both designs [in DA2 and DAI, in DAI it looks even more like blood]. We also know that the Elvhenan performed blood magic and it’s highly likely that blood magic was originally from Arlathan [hints of this info in Tarohne, the Fell Grimoire, and Xebenkeck]. So, there are several hints that show that elvhenan know how to bind spirits and how to use blood magic.

In Sebastian’s quest, this idol appears in an underground Tevinter ruin, and has a [desire] demon bind to it.

In Merril’s quest, this idol appears inside Elvhen ruins and has a pride demon bind to it. However, given the context, the statue can be Elven or Tevinter, since the battle of Sundermount caused that both sides would “unleash horrors” in the Waking World [the codex is not too reliable, though, since it speaks of a legend, and it’s “recent history” related to Arlathan; details in Sundermount as an elven graveyard]. We also know that a lot of knowledge about Arlathan has been lost or modified due to time and elven mortality, but we also know that these elves were deeply related to blood magic. If we add the binding culture that Elvhenan had according to DAI [for example, read Ancient Elven codices; The Lost Temple of Dirthamen, and The Lost Temple of Dirthamen - Part 2] we can suspect that this demon was bind to this statue for either faction [with defensive purposes if elven or as a gesture of dominance if Tevinter]. Not necessarily it has to be Tevinter-made. What I mean is that we have enough context to know that this may have been Tevinter or Elvhenan doing. In fact, one can speculate that maybe the original knowledge was Elvhenan and Tevinter just took it as its own as it has always done with elvhenan magical knowledge.

In Merril’s quest, Felandaris appears close to this statue, suggesting that the Veil is very thin in the area [this plant only grows around places where the veil is thin and demon presence is expected].

In DA2, this idol is usually close to strange dragon-skull totems  that, due to the lack of codex, is impossible to associate with Tevinter or Elvhenan. In DAI they are used in the ramparts of Exalted Plains, seen as structures that hold barriers around pits where dead arise. So they seem to be related to [demon/undead] summoning rituals that, so far we know in lore, may be Tevinter or Elvhenan alike.

In DA2:DLC Legacy, we find this idol too, but deep into the Deep Roads, at the bottom of Corypheus’ tower-prison in a small structure that has an “altar of Dumat”. Four plates are placed there, where you have to put four items found along the DLC: a sacrificial dagger, a crown, a ritual scroll, and a sacred Urn. If you give the items, a reward is given [chain of the penitent].  If you defile the altar instead, you will fight some shades, which gives us the idea that this idol is related to demons and/or blood magic, thinning the Veil around it [shades are usually the standard shape that demons take when enter the waking world without possessing living creatures].

In DAI, it appears in a cave of Western Approach where you can place your landmark, and it’s called “The Thing in the Dark” [details in  Western Approach: Old Chantry Trail Signs]. The small message we get in it is “This statue is oddly warm to the touch and shivers slightly, as though it might have a pulse”.  In DA2, Merril could feel something in the statue when the demon was bind to it, so this warm shivering effect may be the concept that some spirit/demon is bind to it. Let’s remember that in DAI we found a lot of things that are warm to the touch and have some pulse/shiver/angry feeling to it that may imply a spirit attached to it [read The Taken Shape set for a list of details about warm, pulsing objects]

In DAI, curiously, his face appears in some walls along Din'an Hanin, which is expected since his main tomb is underground of that ruin, but it also appears in the lower section of the mural “Removal of the Vallaslin” in the ancient elven ruins of Fen’Harel. One of these faces appears as the source of Veilfire.

Design-wise may have some distant similarities with Korth, the Father-mountain of the Avvar, which has [dragon?] horns. 

Speculation section

Similarities with the red lyrium idol

When we find similarities between this statue and the red lyrium idol, I’m not saying they are the same, but they may have similar functions in ancient rituals. Among the similarities, we can notice that figures have carvings along the body.

May the red lines inside the carvings of the Strange Idol not be blood but inactivated red lyrium? 

Why would I say this? The Red lyrium idol has shown, specially in the comic Dark Fortress, to look like a piece of wood [as if it were inactivated red lyrium] unless I’ve been understading it too wrongly [the scholar even suspects that the idol, once consumed into the creation of a sword for the Red Wraith, has been rendered useless, and its drawing looks more like a piece of wood/metal than a “red glowing crystal”]. Only in some places we see it red. This visual fact always confused me in DA series. We clearly see that the object is not entirely made of red lyrium, only some parts [specially the roots] look like it. Why so many characters insist in saying it’s completely made of red lyrium?

If we remember, the cinematics in Dragon Age Official Teaser Trailer - 2018 Game Awards shows that the idol glows only along some lines, as if the red lyrium is activating from within its metal/wood material. Which is similar to the red lines we see in the Strange Idol, but in a dormant way. We also know that Red Lyrium sounds angry and feels warm [check the red lyrium section in Songs and elements that sing and whisper in DA Lore]. Since the Strange Idol is warm to the touch too [according to DAI in Western Approach: Old Chantry Trail Signs] and has these red lines barely seen, could it be related to inactivated red lyrium? I really don’t know what to think about it since we know so little about the red lyrium idol [and I suspect it has been retconned a couple of times even along DA2].

Design wise, the red lyrium idol always looked to me like wood+metal, and only its lower part is made of red lyrium, as if it were roots, implying from a design-point-of-view the metaphor that the horror represented in the figure is “fed” on red lyrium [details and speculations in  Red Lyrium Idol ].

Pros and cons of certain speculations related to the Strange Idol:

Speculation 1: “This statue is Elgar’nan”

PRO

Its face coincides with the codex Vir Dirthara: Signs of Victory, which describes Elgar’nan with “ narrowed eyes and its open, snarling mouth”. The general shape of the Strange Idol may look like a mountain, as it is said in the codex that Elgar’nan statue was made of stone as big as a mountain [metaphorically implying how he defeated Titans and created monuments of himself on or with the corpse of his enemies].

It makes sense for it to appear in the Bastion of Elgar’nan in Emerald Graves: Din'an Hanin, Elandrin’s Tomb as central icon of the tomb of knights that defended elvhen, considering that Elgar’nan is perceived along the codices as a big leader during the Titan war.

It makes sense for it to be in the Sundermount cave, since we can speculate it was a statue used to bind a demon by the elvhen resisting the war against Tevinter. Let’s remember that Elgar’nan was always related to victory and wars against the Titans in the oldest codices we find about him [read Elgar’nan section in Evanuris].

CONS

If this is an elvhen god/Evanuris, I hardly see it worshipped by Tevinter, who allways had an ancient, deep rejection to elves. It would make no sense to use Elgar’nan as a representation of Dumat either [not consciously, at least]. So it makes no sense for this statue to appear in the Altar of Dumat close to the Corypheus’ prison as well as in Sebastian’s quest, in an underground Tevinter ruin.

It doesn’t have any visual similarity to Elgar’nan mosaic, which displays a bestial arm with claws. There is no similar hint of bestiality in the case of the Strange Idol [read Elgar’nan section in Evanuris]. However, this is not a strong counterargument: we can say the same of Mythal, who has two representations, one as an elf in a mosaic, and another as a dragon [in mosaic and statues too]. Read Mythal section in Evanuris for further details.

Neither con not pro: I can’t speculate why Elgar’nan would appear in the mural of “Removal of the Vallaslin” at the Elven Mountain Ruins, Forgotten Sanctuary. Specially if we think that the previous corridor towards this mural doesn’t have any mosaic of Elgar’nan either. I also can’t explain or speculate why the Forgotten Sanctuary, a place to give shelter to slaves, would have images of the Evanuris on its walls, the ones supporting the slavery system of the moment.  

This face, if it is truly Elgar’nan’s, is also presented as a source of Veilfire which can be related to Titans through the mural “The Death of a Titan”, where the source of Veilfire is presented in the heart of the Titan. Linking both symbols, one can suspect that maybe Elgar’nan’s victory over the Titans granted him the power of exceptional magic [divinity?], represented in these murals as the source of this particular green fire.

Speculation 2: “This statue is Dumat”

PRO: 

It makes sense to appear close to Corypheus’ prison in an altar to Dumat or in the underground Tevinter ruins from Sebastian’s quest.

It makes sense to appear in Sundermount, so we can assume it was a symbol of dominance from Tevinter when they attacked the resisting elves in this place. They bind a demon there too, and this brings no conflict with the lore; we know Tevinter always had a deep knowledge of binding and using demons in their favour.

CONS: 

It makes no sense for Dumat to appear in the Bastion of Elgar’nan in Emerald Graves: Din'an Hanin, Elandrin’s Tomb. If it would have appeared in the first part of the zone, where we find statues of Andraste as the codex of Emerald Knights upgrades, it would have been considered an assimilation from former slaves, but this statue appears in a central position in a tomb that has been sealed long ago, surrounded by many statues of Mythal in her dragon shape.

Besides, why would Dumat appear in the mural of “Removal of the Vallaslin” at the Elven Mountain Ruins, Forgotten Sanctuary? So far we know the “Tevinter” perspective of the Old Gods appeared long time after the Elvhen and the Evanuris, so it’s hardly a contemporaneous concept to the ancient Elvhenan Gods. 

Dumat, understood as the Old God perceived by Tevinter, is a Dragon in shape. Its will may be something else, though, that may be represented in this toad-like figure?.

Speculation 3: “This statue is an ancient god [maybe a Forgotten One?] worshipped by the Evanuris before claiming divinity, and Tevinter adopted it later, believing them as Dragons or The Old Gods”.

PROS: 

This concept makes sense in both scenarios, Tevinter and Elvhenan. Like I said in the lore sections of the posts related to the comics The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak, Until We Sleep, Magekiller, and The Missing; there are some hints that make us speculate that Evanuris worshipped great dragons originally [that may or may not result in the Forgotten Ones]. Mythal should have been one of them as she is a dragon herself, but they stopped worshipping these ancient gods when they took the “divine winged shape” for themselves, claiming divinity. From that moment on, the Evanuris [at least Andruil] hunt these dragon-gods/Forgotten-Ones down, chasing them to the Void [which is more related to the underground lyrium than to a dimensional pocket ala Crossroads]. Mythal stopped her [ and intentionally or not, we don’t know, she protected these entities] by fighting against Andruil and removing her knowledge of how to reach the Void because in the Void there was “Darkness” and madness that Andruil infected with [for a whole detailed analysis of this, check the codex explanation of “Elven God Andruil” in the post Ancient Elven codices, Temple of Mythal].

In this way, it makes sense for Tevinter to end up using similar iconography, ignoring it was the same god that the Elvhenan venerated originally. Tevinter knows that the Old Gods take the shape of Dragons, but they may be something else entirely.

Under this idea, it makes sense for this idol to appear in Tevinter or Elvhenan environments.

CONS:

There are too few hints to support this hypothesis of Forgotten Ones as the original gods that the Evanuris worshipped until they claimed divinity for themselves, and later Tevinter took them in their dragon shape and established the cult of the Old Gods. Most of the hints pointing out this relationship are recent [in the late comics].

We also have a strange potential relationship between the Forgotten Ones and the Forbidden Ones via the Seekers. It may be a red herring done by the devs or a consequence of “unreliable narrators”. Details in “Tarohne, the Fell Grimoire, and Xebenkeck”.

Another con is that this idol has no shape of a dragon when we know that the Old Gods are always represented as Dragons, and we also suspected from the comics that the Forgotten Ones may be dragons instead of elvhen . We also have another potential link with Hakkon as Geldauran, who may be one of them; for more details, read Elvhen Tomb and Ancient Tevinter presence, Speculation.

Neither con not pro but a detail worth noting: this entity has a shape with a distant resemblance to Korth, the Avvar Mountain-Father god [the mouth shape are alike, and the nostrils of the Strange Idol are similar to the Korth’s nose-eyes]. Korth is the oldest and strongest god of the Avvar pantheon. We know the Avvar have always had a much better understanding of the world due to their deep conection with the spirits, whose wisdom is always shared to the Augur of the tribe. With this I mean that this Strange Idol seems to be a very old entity that even the Avvar perceived, reflected later in the shape of Korth. Korth is related to the Mountain, as Elgar’nan is related to it in a dominant way in the codex  Vir Dirthara: Signs of Victory. Elgar’nan’s fury [which destroys everything it touches, according to the codex The Judgment of Mythal or read Elgar’nan section in Evanuris for more details] has some distant similarity to Korth’s cruelty when he lost his heart [read codex The Frostback Mountains] and became a force of anger and destruction. According to the relationships I’ve been trying to connect along this blog, these details seem to me that the same entity has been perceived by Avvar, Tevinters, and Elvhenan, but represented with some differences in order to fit their own purposes [as all DA lore has been showing so far].

[shanaraharlyah]

Lilacs

The soft scent of lilacs on her skin was intoxicating.  It mingled with the smell of the fresh blooms in the warm spring air and reminded him of that first night they'd spent together in Redcliffe.  As he reached to draw her curls back over her shoulder, he couldn't resist lightly grazing her delicate ear with his finger tip.  Her breath caught at his touch and she closed her eyes, dropping her hand to the collar of his shirt and leaning closer to him.  A grin crept across his face and he wrapped her up in a warm embrace, kissing the top of her head and burying his face in her hair as the sun dipped closer to the horizon.

---

My submission for the Xenon Mystery Chest prompt, Fragrance, from @14daysdalovers. 😊

Setup and rendered in DAZ Studio 4.20 Public Build Beta

Postwork in Photoshop Elements 8.0

Bigger Here

[14daysdalovers]

Come check out the new flash events exclusive to Members of the 14DALOVERS community!

[noire-pandora]

Fragrance Prompt: Lily of the Valley

The “Fragrance” prompt posted by the wonderful admins on the 14dalovers  forum sparked my imagination so I had to write a Solavellan piece for it. 

With a spring in her step, Elluin hummed a Dalish tone as she made her way to the healer's hut —Solas' hut—balancing a plate on her right palm. There, an apple as red as her hair wobbled beside a water carafe and a piece of exquisite Orlesian cheese. For an apostate who led a reclusive life, he had excellent taste when it came to cheese.

The hut's door opened without a sound, for Solas took special care to ensure the hinges did not creak and wake his convalescent patients. With his elvhen hearing, no one could surprise him, for even the slightest step could not go unnoticed.

A whiff of lily of the valley tickled Elluin's nose as soon as she entered the well-lit hallway, a scent she recognised without difficulty. For it was the fragrance of home and family. Of better times, when her Keeper would grease her hair with a mixture of lily of the valley and elftoot cream to repair the damage her raging fire had done to her poor locks. Even now, after many years spent away from the clan, she still used the same mixture to protect her hair, even though she had tamed the flames of her anger.

The beds to the right and left of the hallway stood empty, the white sheets immaculate and perfectly stretched over the mattress. In times when the Creators were kind, none of the soldiers who fought to keep the world safe lay on the brink of death in need of Solas' constant care. Another reason for Elluin to grin with excitement for she would have her beloved to herself an entire afternoon.

Nevertheless, the fact that Solas did not appear to greet the guest entering his sanctuary puzzled her, for her excited footsteps echoed in the silence of the hut and the carafe clinked softly as the dangling apple bobbed on the tray and hit the glass. She wondered if he had fallen asleep and lost himself in a Fade dream during those few moments of solitude.

At the end of the hall, the door of his small, private room stood half open and the light of what she assumed was a fireball spinning in the air danced on the maroon floor, beckoning her to enter and see what Solas needed the magic for. The hut had many windows and the best natural lighting, for he insisted a place of healing required light and fresh air for the people to heal.

"My love, what are you up to?" she asked when he did not flinch at another door opening. He sat huddled over the long table, with vials and flasks around him, spinning energetically with an iron spoon into a cauldron boiling over a small mass of fire magic. Sweat gathered on his scalp as the air burned hot. The strong smell of lily of the valley and elfroot permeated the room and stole her breath away.

"Vhenan," he gasped, turning on the soles of his feet, his back turned toward the table as if desperately trying to hide the boiling content from her eyes. "What are you doing here? I thought you were training with Madame Vivienne."

"Vivienne had guests today and we cancelled the session," she said as she craned her neck to see what he was hiding, but Solas' broad shoulders and tall stature prevented her from quenching her curiosity. "What's going on, love?" A grin tugged at her lips as she placed the plate with his food in the right corner of the long table, away from his cauldron so the bubbling substance there would not spoil the food.

"Nothing at all," he said a little too quickly, stumbling over his words. "I am experimenting, that is all."

"With elfroot and lily of the valley?" she asked, rocking back and forth on the soles of her feet, hands clasped behind her back to mimic his usual posture. Amusement tickled her cheeks for she guessed what Solas worked on, but did not want to ruin the fun of catching him off guard.

"How did you— ?" He sighed through his mouth and rubbed the sleeve of his tunic over his face, the sweat on his skin staining the green fabric. "But of course you recognised the scent, it is the scent of your childhood."

"Indeed," she said, taking two steps toward the table as Solas moved away from the brew, allowing her to peer into the cauldron. There, a green, sticky substance burbled happily, the bubbles breaking with a soft pop and spreading the smell of lily of the valley in the hot air. "Are you doing this for me?"

"I–" he began, but paused when Elluin turned to him, a delighted smile on her face. A pale blush grew on his cheeks and he looked up at the ceiling to avoid her inquiring gaze. "Lately, you have been complaining about your lack of time and how you have fallen behind on personal care."

"And that's when you decided to boil elfroot for me?" she continued with the silly questions, eager to see him sigh in frustration as she teased him.

Solas sighed and his gesture gained a chuckle from her. At her visible amusement, he looked back at her, a small frown pinching his eyebrows. "You use a mixture of elfroot and lily of the valley for your hair, do you not? Or have I been misunderstanding?"

"How sweet you are, to care about the well-being of my hair," she took his right hand in hers and kissed his knuckles. "You are such a sap, Solas."

"I am not," he protested with a huff but the threads of amusement coloured his voice. "I care for your mental and physical welfare and since I had a few free moments today, I thought I might—" His words trailed off as Elluin rested her forehead on his chest and wrapped her arms around his back.

"Make me happy," her words came out muffled, but loud enough for Solas to understand. With her nose pressed against his chest she took a deep breath. His scent of ozone and bitten tinctures mingled with the smell of the cream he'd been working on for her sake. For her happiness. "Thank you."

Solas returned the hug and pressed his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply, his breath tickling her scalp. With that gesture, Elluin knew he, too, found peace in the fragrance of lily of the valley.

[raflesia65]

Prompt: Fragrance

My share for the Xenon's mystery chest event. hosted by the 14DALOVERS comunity

@14daysdalovers

A cup of vanilla fragrance tea and a vanilla flower are a way for Commander Cullen to feel close to his Diana

[heckin-strange]

The amnesiac Xenon finds Meridia's Beacon in a chest in Bleak Falls Barrow when he's looking for the Dragonstone for Farengar. He doesn't know about his past life yet but he does feel out of place in the world, his suspicions only growing after Meridia tells him "Do my bidding and I will give you what you what you have lost."

Xenon returns to Dragonsreach to deliver the Dragonstone, keeping quiet about the Beacon. He was going to find out about it but then a dragon attacked, feeling the urge to help.

It was a surprise to find out that he was the Dragonborn, the one prophesied to end the World-Eater, Alduin. After returning to Whiterun and hearing the Greybeard's call, he was torn by a choice.

Pursue Alduin or pursue his mystery.

[lemon-writings]

Project Update: Lessons in Humanity from a Future Physicist

So here’s a two-in-one update, because everything’s been really hectic lately. It’s been a tough 20,000, and I’ve had to fight with my teeth on it, but here she is!

50,000 words, folks. That’s what’s good. 

-|-

We’re starting this 20,000 off with some stuff I remember from my singular semester of Gen Chem: noble gasses. I’ve always been a little fascinated with noble gasses in the same way I’ve been a little fascinated with theoretical physics and astrology. It’s an interesting concept, elements that have difficulty bonding with other elements, like people do. And, of course, Kam finds a way to relate science with his current life situation. 

Zach gets off his bed and starts to pace around the dorm, moving in this self-contained way, like a particle of noble gas. Maybe that’s why Zach can’t form meaningful connections with his romantic partners: his valence shell is full. Maybe he is meant to be a lone atom for the rest of his life, not forming any bonds with anyone.

Maybe that’s why Kam doesn’t have bonds. Maybe he’s a noble gas, too. 

I really like the noble gas comparison. There’s something really fitting about noble gasses and Kam. 

“Xenon.” Kam straightens himself, pulling his shirt and hoodie from his chest and fixing his glasses. He doesn’t say we are noble gasses. He doesn’t say we’re both lonely, but I think that’s why we get along. He doesn’t say I wish I understood people like you do.

“Xenon,” Zach repeats, sounding like Kam.

And one more time to make it a motif. Remember, kids: once is random, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a meaningful motif!

Kam sits, self-contained as always. He is his own universe, detached from everything and everyone else. Maybe he isn’t krypton, but helium, unable to form any bonds, floating alone in the vast nothingness of the universe. Helium is the loneliest element. 

-|-

So, there are a couple characters we meet in these chapters that I’m not sure I’m keeping, just because I know they’re not being used to their full potential, and it makes me really sad to know that they could have such better roles in a different story. I’m not going to put them in this just because I’m not sure about their standing, but suffice to say that I might be writing a whole thing about them sometime. 

-|-

There’s a little bit of Gerard’s backstory in this one, too, which is nice, because Gerard hasn’t gotten a lot of backstory in the past few drafts. Gerard has a pretty bad relationship with his family. He doesn’t really like to talk about it unless he has to, and even then, he won’t say a lot. 

Gerard nods, leaning back into Vic’s grip. He doesn’t look like the puffed-up, brave man who said that he wasn’t going to let his family ruin his life. He looks like the same broken child that showed up holding a trash bag of his belongings on the Suzuki’s doorstep sobbing out please, they found out, they kicked me out, I don’t know what to do, I’m scared.

-|-

Vic and Kam’s birthdays happen in these chapters! It’s a really big thing to everyone else, but Kam isn’t a huge fan of celebrations that center on him. 

Kam FaceTimes his family and it’s so? Pure? They’re just all so soft and I love them, especially when Kam looks back on his childhood with his mom and brother fondly. 

It makes Kam feel like a child again, walking into the living room to tell Kiyomi about the most recent episode of Star Trek he’d watched or some fact he’d learned from a documentary. He almost expects a gentle head pat and a declaration that he’s mom’s little astronaut.

-|-

At one point, Kam’s at his father’s house, and let’s just say that it upsets him a lot. He has a bit of an episode and goes to the bathroom, because for some reason, it’s a good place to have a breakdown. Or, at least, it is for me. 

Specifically, Kam’s having a moment where he freaks out about change. How much he’s changed, the people around him have changed, the world has changed. Change really upsets him, even if it’s for the better. 

The bathroom is always silent, and if Kam leaves the lights off, he doesn’t have to look at himself. He doesn’t have to look at the man he has become, slowly grown out of his gawky, awkward teenage body in the same way Zach hasn’t, broadening and filling his frame with muscle, the masculinity coming with the testosterone shots. He can ignore the fact that he is a different person from the child he once was, that he has actually become a man instead of a child. In the dark, he can pretend that his life has never changed from childhood.

As a result of this, Kam really misses Zach. Kam’s gotten really used to Zach holding him when one of them gets in a bad mental place, so when Kam’s having a bad time at his dad’s house, he really doesn’t have anyone to comfort him. Even though sometimes Zach’s really bony and uncomfortable to cuddle with, Kam still enjoys his presence. 

He aches for Zach’s presence, the unsure smoothness of his voice, all the ums and uhs and stutters in his speech that are more endearing than annoying. Then Zach’s skinny arms wrapped around him, the pressure making up for the uncomfortable boniness. His breathing, always so steady when he needs it to be, and even the scratchy feeling of his stubble and thrifted sweaters against Kam’s skin.

-|-

I love writing about Zach and Kam’s nostalgia. There’s something kinda warm and fuzzy about reminiscing over memories I’ve never had. 

Zach smiles at the rush of high school era memories, the innocence of going to the local record stores and then a comic store, watching Kam peruse the sci-fi comics with the same sort of awe Zach showed the battered sleeves earlier. He describes it, the happy look Kam would get when he’d see an issue of Star Trek focusing on Spock.

-|-

There’s some really good moments between Kam and Nikki when they’re bonding. Not quite in the realm of friendship yet but nearing the line, they’re really awkward around each other. Nikki just really wants to know about Kam because she thinks he’s “mysterious and brooding” when really he’s just traumatized and brooding about it. 

So, sometimes Nikki looks at Kam because of the aforementioned interest in knowing more about him, and it makes Kam ask himself a lot of questions and do a lot of introspection. 

Does she see his perfectionism, the way he makes sure the lines of everything on his desk are parallel? Does she see his determination, the way he grits his teeth when he bench presses? Does she see his thoughtfulness, the pauses in conversations when he stares off into the distance in silence? 

He wants to ask her what she sees when she looks at people that makes her continue to stare at them. Maybe it’s the same thing he does, trying to puzzle them together, piece together the parts he can gather about the people around him. Maybe it’s what Gerard does, psychoanalyzing everyone he sees. Maybe it’s what Vic does, admiring the beauty in everything.

But Kam knows he isn’t beautiful, so it can’t be that. 

Poor guy’s got a lot of self-esteem issues.

At the same time, Kam’s looking at Nikki and thinking about how much she looks like Zach, because Kam always thinks about Zach. 

She kind of looks like Zach, if he squints. Shoulder-length hair in frizzy curls, except hers is a little straighter, like she messes with it more often than he does, brown eyes that catch everything, band merch across her chest. The light hits her as the sun dips lower into the sky, making the purple marks under her eyes fade and her sharp angles look softer. He thinks she could be beautiful.

-|-

In all, I feel pretty good about what’s going on with Lessons, even though I haven’t been moving at a particularly decent pace with it. There are going to be some rather big developmental changes in the next 10,000 words, though, because, like many drafts of my books, Lessons has a sagging middle. 

[fernlomwrites]

Welcome to Forgotten Ambitions

(A WIP based in my Wild West Setting. Started randomly a while a go, let me know if you want it to continue)

Once upon a time in the Wild West legends tell of a town named Forgotten Ambitions. In this town, townsfolk face the usual threats, bandits, natives, aliens, mythical beasts from the deepest pits of hell. Normal. The sheriff's department is just as normal, the Sheriff, wielding the ancient power of a long dead civilization’s assassin God, his co sheriff an undead former officer, alive again due to mysterious circumstances, and a robot from the far future. Normal. Perfectly normal. Forgotten Ambitions, a boring town of the Wild West were normal things happen.

“McCree!” Sheriff Waters drawn out his revolvers, his eyes glowing bright white behind his glasses. “Get your lazy butt out here!”

The saloon doors burst open as Mcree steps out, half smiling on account of half his face is missing. He yawns “You can swear you pansy! You don't even go to church!”

An arrow flew through the sky, impaling McCree’s skull, but the undead Sheriff simply kept walking forward.

“And we're is our bucket of bolts anyway?”

Waters returned fire to the unknown shooters, the sounds of bodies dropping off buildings is heard shortly after.

“They got him! I don't know how a bunch of natives managed to capture a damn robot from the damn future but sure as hell they did!”

BAM! BAM! BAM! Three more shots, and three more thumps from the dropped bodies.

Waters sighs “sometimes i wish our town was more normal, but then i realize normal is dealing with stuff like angry natives attacking us on random!”

“This isn’t random!” A voice calls out from behind the buildings. Suddenly the air is filled with the sound of creaking metal as a large bronze figure lands mere feet away from McCree, holding in its hands the wrecked body of Colt 45, the robotic deputy.

Waters steps out of his cover and approaches the figure “Vessel.”

“Yes, the Vessel”, a Native American chief walks up to the Sheriff's. “McCree, Waters.”

Waters nods “Chief Kitchi. Tell me, why are your men attacking my town. And why is   Vessel here?”

Kitchi scowls at the men “Vessel is here because we have welcomed him back into the tribe. We need him now that your glowing fire men started attacking our village.”

“Glowing fire men? We don't have fire people in our town.”

Kitchi turns to Waters “Don’t lie to me, they dressed just as all you white people do”

“Chief Kitchi, I'm not lying. Who ever attacked your village, they ain't with us.”

“No. No we are not” The voice reverberated inside Water’s head, as if it was not spoke out, but directly into his head. McCree and Waters turn around and face the source of the voice. Standing at the edge of town were two humanoid figures, one male, one female, dressed in clothes similar to all the others in town. The male was dressed as a Sherriff, complete with badge discolored by unwashed blood. The female was dressed the same, with an exposed abdomen and sleeveless top, her blood stained badge on her fire damaged hat. Their faces consisting of a smoldering metal brand, the outline of a keyhole for the female, and a filled in keyhole for the male.

“Greetings pathetic humans and what I think are Glitches” The voice resonated from the male “I am Argon Oxide, this is my sister Xenon Oxide, we’re Novakids and we are here for all of your shit”

“Dump is that way asshole” McCree quips back, smirking with half of his face. “That's where we keep all our shit”

“Why you little-” Xeon growls, pointing her long rifle at McCree’s chest “smart mouth us one more time, try me”

McCree’s half smirk grows as he begins walking forward, until the end of her rifle pokes his chest “Come on sweet cheeks~ Is that anyway to act in a stranger’s town?~”

Xeon growls, pulling the trigger of her rifle without hesitation, shocked to see McCree still standing before her. McCree chuckles, yanking the rifle from her arms and walking back to Waters.

“Hey!” Argon unloads his pistols into McCree’s back “Don't disrespect my sister like that!” McCree sighs “Son, you are starting to piss me off. Now while me, and my brothers here still allow you to go, go. Before you really piss me off”

Waters steps forward, backed by Vessel, Kitchi at his side, Colt at the other. “I’d listen to him stranger. We don't treat bandits and outlaws very nicely here”

Argon and Xenon turn and face Waters “You the sheriff?” Argon laughs “You see this badge here? And the blood on it? It's obviously not mine. Hell, the blood and the badge don't even belong to the same person. You won't be the first sheriff I kill, or the last”

From under his mask Waters smirks “Son, standing before you are two sheriffs, their deputy, a native chief, and his tribe’s Guardian. Not only that, but at our call is a very skilled gunslinger, who’d be here in a matter of seconds. So we’ll tell you again, leave our town while we still allow you to leave.”

[lairofdragonagelore]

DA2: Xenon and his Black Emporium

[This is part of the series “Playing DA like an archaeologist”]

Tales of a mysterious underground shop run by an immortal—perhaps undead—proprietor who peddles impossible and implausible goods  […] No reputable source has ever found it and none ever will, because it does not exist.

You will, of course, hear the standard justifications: it appears only to the worthy, it appears only to the invited, it is hidden by blood magic, it exists only in the Fade. Rubbish. There is no magic that can hide an entire shop full of trinkets from the eyes of a Seeker of Truth. And I am not just saying that because I searched for six months and didn't find it; shut up, Tristan.

—From a letter by Seeker Benedict to Divine Justinia V.

The codex of the Black Emporium implies that this shop is truly hidden by powerful magic if a Seeker of Truth [who, thanks to DAI and Asunder, we know they have strong unique sensory powers] couldn't find it. What it's a fact is that Hawke and the Inquisitor found it and visited it, the place exists. Now, the description of the codex makes me _speculate_ that it could be hidden in a pocket of the Fade, a small plane like the Crossroads: if blood magic were involved, a Seeker could find it. DAI and books like Asunder showed us how strong a Seeker's powers are. However, they have not senses to identify places in the in-between the waking world and the Fade. In fact, we know by the book The Masked Empire that these places are very anti-human [non-friendly towards humans, I would say]. So this kind of space could pass invisible to a very powerful Seeker. In any case, that's total speculation on my part. It’s fun to play with the idea, though.

Among the emporium’s objects that are interesting, we find many re-used items with no meaning, or if they have it, it escapes me completely.

One of those is this masked bird.

It's a strange creature: a bird-like humanoid with human hands and arms, holding a mask, so we can’t see its face. Its legs are of a bird [bent backwards], with feathers or scales [the resolution of the game is not great for these details], and it has shackles on its ankles. It also has talons and wings.

The only hint we have of any potential meaning is given when we find it inside Hawke’s mansion: we know that the statue unsettles Fenris since he claims it’s similar to relics of the old gods in Tevinter. So it’s Tevinter-made? or Elven-made and co-opted by Tevinter? who knows.

On a less interesting note, there are some iron maidens used several times in many scenarios along DA2. They have a circle on their chest with something that resembles the shape of a star. Nothing more to highlight.

Continuing the less interesting objects: there are a lot of extra items in the emporium such as the dwarven sarcophagus we found in other quests, a lot of general stuff which is more related to fill and decorate the backgrounds than to have any lore significance, and many other objects spread along the Emporium with strange funny codex that can be found in the wiki and I don't think they require attention.

Now, what truly caught my attention in this place were 3 things:

A piece of red lyrium on the desk, as a component for potions, like it's a totally normal component. After analysing DA2, and specially in the posts of the Gallows or the one about Red Lyrium, I have the suspicion that Red Lyrium m ay have been used by Tevinter when Kirkwall was still called Emerius, which would explain why Xenon has pieces of this element even when we visit him before the expedition to the Deep Roads [or maybe it’s just a dev’s overlook. It can happen].  

However, the detail is very well-thought: because it's red lyrium, and may have some effect on the Fade around it, we see the desk surrounded by Felandaris, an herb that only grows where the Fade is thin.

The most shocking part of this DLC, lore-wise, is that Xenon has an eluvian infected with red lyrium, being the Mirror of Transformation. Yes, it’s close to the concept that, if the Fade alterations have effects in reality, and an eluvian allows you to have access to the Fade, maybe a mirror in this twisted/corrupted condition can alter its reflection in the Fade and see the consequences in the waking world. Something along those lines. As it couldn’t get worse, in the background, on a shelf, we see two of those cursed statues [see post of Strange Idol].

There is also a golem that, according to the emporium codex, is the defence that Xenon has when someone wants to steal something. I don’t think there is much to say about it.

Now we move on to the most interesting thing in this place: Xenon himself, the owner of the Black Emporium.

Seeing his design is fabulous. There is no way to understand what happened to him: he is a mess of limbs.

DA2 Xenon has the following characteristics: I can count 11 arms and 5 legs. Below the book there is another face, screaming, covering its eye sockets with two additional hands. It looks like small humanoid bodies were stuck or absorbed by Xenon’s core. Part of the 3 arms that reach the back of the chair are fused with the chair as well.

If we see the detail, his limbs are fused with the chair suggesting petrifaction?

 What is curious to me was that extra head below the red book. It looks like that, in order to keep his youth, Xenon may have used magic to fuse his body with other living creatures, adding more and more limbs to his body with each procedure. Once more, this idea resembles part of the narration of The Horror of Hormak, which features monstrosities with many limbs as a consequence of fusing living creatures. As a speculation, I think there is a remote possibility that Xenon has been close to this kind of elvhenan magic, in his many experiments to seek a solution to his state.

Just to discard an excess of hypothesis and wild speculation, for a moment I thought that the screaming face under the book could be similar to the cursed strange idol, or to the red lyrium idol. I placed these objects in the same picture to compare easily… and we can see there is no relationship at all. However, it’s disturbing that the small head comes from his heart, which is from where the red idol was retaken from Meredith’s remains [Tevinter Nights]. Maybe it’s not the exact same thing, but a similar procedure or the imitation of it. 

DAI Screenshots belong to  https://twitter.com/Legimel

I did not replay DAI yet, but I picked some screenshots to compare and remove some doubts I was having in terms of design. DAI Xenon is not different to DA2 Xenon, the effect of his body getting fused with the chair is more notorious, as all the details are, including the small screaming head below the book. So, Xenon is consistent through both games, at a simple glance. I’ll do a detailed post of him once I replay DAI.

I checked the art books to see if I could find something interesting too. What I found is that Xenon’s tarot card has not much to offer with the exception of a small detail: the hands that cover the small screaming head below the book seem to be tied, giving the impression that, maybe, those bodies attached to Xenon were unwillingly people [fusing with him in an attempt to keep his youth?].

In the book Art of Inquisition, we see the same detail again: those hands are tied with a rope.

When it comes to the information in these books, there is nothing interesting. Everything is narrated in a very vague way. 

The codex about him offer little important information: all of them are written by unreliable narrators that know nothing about the true past of Xenon.  [Codex in DA2, and in DAI]

Like in the book of World of Thedas, there are some lines, written in a very vague way, that suggest [if this can even be considered true] that the Antivan Witch of the Wild granted him eternal life without youth. This would mean that Yavanna and her dragons [which blood is the blood of the world] may have been related to all this, but seems very unlikely. Could she be that powerful? Probably Xenon will remain a mystery forever.

[Index page of Dragon Age Lore ]