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Dear Commander - Chapter 28: One Step at a Time

Cullen x Trevelyan

AO3 MASTERLIST

Cullen is concerned by the way the Inquisitor chooses to move about Skyhold.

Full chapter below:

Footsteps scurried along the stone floor. The dimly lit corridor, with its cool, musty air offered reprieve, if only for a moment. She braced herself, knowing he’d be there, anticipating her arrival.

When she opened the door, sunlight assaulted her senses, a bright, blinding light that poured into Skyhold’s halls.

She’d barely found a chance to adjust her eyes as she stepped into the garden before he noticed her.

“Well, what did she have to say for herself?”

The messenger shielded her eyes with an arm, blinking profusely. With a wince, she answered, “Lady Josephine's answer is the same, my lord.”

Dorian folded his arms and slowly shook his head. “So I'm to be restricted from the wine cellar? That's outrageous!”

“She's also considering asking you to replace the fourteen bottles you took,” she replied, her expression almost sheepish as she delivered the news.

“Just fourteen?” Dorian asked with an impish grin. “Hmm. I should consider myself lucky.”

While the messenger stood, waiting, hoping that their conversation would soon conclude, Dorian’s eyes drifted across the gardens. A hint of mischief twinkled in them when he caught sight of Cullen moving along the path, head down and focused.

“Did you hear?” he shouted loudly, startling the messenger as she looked up at him with confusion. Just as Cullen moved passed them, Dorian continued. “The Inquisitor fell from the rotunda stairs! A gruesome sight. Broke her leg in three places!”

Cullen halted, turning to Dorian with a horrified look on his face. There was a moment of silence — Dorian holding his expression of concern, the messenger blinking in shock and Cullen staring with wide eyes and parted lips.

Dorian’s expression broke, transforming into a grin. “…Is what I would say if it were true.”

Cullen exhaled, his relief evident for just a second before he scrunched his face in disgust.

Still holding a grin, Dorian added, "Honestly, it's only a matter of time. Have you seen the way she moves about the place?"

Shaking his head, Cullen turned and began to walk away. “I don’t know why I even bother,” he muttered under his breath.

Impressed with himself, Dorian grinned, watching Cullen storm off. He sighed, satisfied, before his eyes fell back to the messenger. “Oh you can go now,” he said. “I’ll send for you once I’ve written a response to our lovely Lady Josephine. I’ll sway her yet. I can be quite charming.”

The messenger nodded, unsure how to respond. “Thank you, my lord,” she said, dipping her head before hurrying off, hoping her next assignment would have more purpose.

Dorian smiled to himself, leaning against the wall with folded arms. His eyes caught sight of something rather intriguing, a rendezvous that piqued his interest.

Across the gardens, Leliana sat at a table in the gazebo with what appeared to be a chessboard, set up and ready for a match. To Dorian's surprise, it was Cullen who had approached her, taking his seat opposite Leliana at the table.

With a finger lifted to his lip in contemplation, Dorian observed them, his mind brimming with ideas.

Late that afternoon, prior to a war council, Josephine sat at her desk, listening to yet another request from a member of the Inquisition.

She looked up from her notes, a curious look gleaming in her eyes.

"A book?" she asked, her voice rising with a questioning flourish.

Cullen tilted his head to the side. "It's not something I'd expect to find just sitting around a common library."

Josephine's eyes narrowed as she focused on Cullen, meeting his hopeful gaze with a hint of skepticism. His lips pulled into a slight smirk, as though caught in an act of mischief. While a telling heat rose to his cheeks, he pulled away his eyes.

"I'll add it to my list," she said, a subdued smile playing on her lips while she returned her focus to the notes.

Cullen lingered awkwardly, kicking his foot into the floor and stretching his head back to ease the tension in his neck. His eyes wandered Josephine's office until they landed on a familiar sight.

"How much of our budget goes into senseless decorating?" he wondered aloud, moving to the bouquet of flowers that were neatly arranged in an ornate vase.

"What do you mea—" Josephine looked up from her clipboard, surprise sweeping over her face when her eyes met Cullen's.

These flowers had lingered in Cullen's mind for most of the day. He was less concerned that he had been caught hovering around Juliette's door in the morning than he was about Blackwall being there too, flowers in hand. Now, seeing them proudly displayed on Josephine's desk, he had one less burden clouding his focus.

He pulled at a stem, slowly lifting a flower. Small droplets of water dripped onto the edge of the desk and Josephine gasped.

"Please, put that back," she scolded as politely as one could.

Cullen chuckled, obeying her request and slotting the flower back in the vase. Josephine's chair scraped along the floor as she abruptly stood. "Why would you do that?" she hurried to observe the mess he had made.

Cullen stepped back, allowing her to hover around the front of her desk and rearrange the flowers.

"I was just checking." Cullen's lips pressed together tightly to hold back a laugh.

"What could you have been checking for?" she replied with a hint of annoyance, eyes focused on the task before for.

"Flower's for the Inquisitor?"

Cullen drew in a sharp breath upon hearing Leliana's voice.

"Maker's breath! I didn't hear you enter!"

Leliana smirked with folded arms. "Might I suggest fresh flowers if you're attempting to woo Juliette."

"T…that's not what I —" Cullen stammered, suddenly aware of his facial expressions and body language. Try as he might, he could not hide his infatuation from Leliana and it drove him mad. He glanced across to her, frustrated by her knowing smirk and teasing glint in her eyes. He wondered just what she was willing to do with this knowledge, beyond playful banter. Would she tell Juliette? Had she told her?

Josephine turned to him with a smile. "Andraste's Grace is her favourite flower, Cullen. You'd do well to remember that."

Maker's sake! Now Josephine knows?

Cullen sighed heavily, eyes glued to the floor as he felt an aggressive heat bloom in his face. "That wasn't…" his muttering trailed off and he lifted his head, a smug smirk on his lips. Since we're revealing secrets.

"Those flowers look awfully familiar, Josephine."

"These flowers?" she asked Cullen, feigning ignorance.

"Yes. Those flowers. I could have sworn that I saw Blackwall carrying flowers just like that in here this morning."

There was a soft clinking noise as Josephine's pen dropped to the ground. She held eye contact with Cullen for just a moment, her expression blank. Cullen's smirk twisted, the scar pulling with his lips. Josephine quickly lowered herself to the floor, scrambling for the pen before rushing back to the chair at her desk.

"They are a common flower in this region I believe," Josephine said in a quiet voice.

"So common that you have Grey Wardens picking them for you every morning," Cullen chuckled.

Josephine looked up, a hint of retaliation in her eyes. "Would you care to ask Leliana for help tracking down the mysterious Nevarran romance novels that you've taken a sudden interest in?"

Cullen's face darkened a deeper shade of red and he looked back to the floor.

"Oh?" Leliana laughed. "Love really is in the air."

The sudden noise of a door creaking filled the room and Cullen's eyes shot up. He straightened his posture, desperately reaching for composure as Juliette entered.

"Inquisitor!" he said in surprise, his face still a little flushed, his voice carrying a forced hint of urgency.

Josephine and Leliana exchanged glances and soft giggles echoed.

Juliette wandered slowly towards the desk, caution in her steps as she sensed the awkward tension.

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm interrupting something?" she asked, a slight waver of amusement in her voice.

"You're not!" Cullen said quickly. His serious expression softened when Juliette lifted her eyes to meet his. "I…" Cullen sighed. "You're here now. To the war room?"

"By all means," Juliette laughed.

She stood smiling as Cullen promptly made for the door, his armor creaking with the sudden movement. Her eyes drifted along with him, subconsciously following his body.

He seemed to be flustered or perhaps agitated in some kind of way. His reaction to her entrance seemed jarring, as though she were intruding on something. Juliette was unsure how to feel around him. One moment, he was warm and alluring; the next, distant and awkward. A flutter of nervous energy settled in her chest as she anticipated the war council.

He had told her not to concern herself. She knew he wasn't likely to show his struggles, let alone admit to them. He'd be stubborn about this, she was certain, yet she was no less inclined to watch over him. If he was struggling with withdrawls, she needed to know.

Then of course, there was his letter. Too busy to speak with her one moment, then slipping notes underneath her door the next. Could this be about me rather than the lyrium?, She wondered, so deep in thought she'd barely noticed them leave the room where she had been left standing alone.

The war council dragged on well into the evening. Moonlight glistened through the war room's large windows, illuminating the stern look on Josephine's face, a sight uncommon where the usually calm ambassador was involved. She glared across the table in Cullen's direction.

"I gave you the measurements of my armor, I don't see the problem," Cullen said with little patience.

"You borrowed a measuring stick from Ser Morris!"

"Is it not accurate?" he argued.

"No!" Josephine exclaimed. "Cullen, you can't just hold a stick against your armor, you need to be fitted properly by a tailor!"

Juliette looked up from the reports that she was flicking through with an amused grin.

"I don't see why we need to bother ourselves with this nonsense. Commission ceremonial armor and be done with it. We're going to soothe political unrest, not to play dress-up."

"We need to win favour of the court."

"And that's precisely why we should be wearing armor! To show that we are a force of power, to present a united front!" Cullen leaned over the war table, his face scrunched in frustration. "We need to be discussing logistics, how we will get our soldiers in and out of there. Not…" He threw up his hands with annoyance. "This."

Josephine leaned back, running a hand along the table's surface as she straightened, a satisfied smirk on her lips. She scribbled a line across her clipboard and looked back up to him. "I'll arrange the fitting for the coming week. Now…" She turned to face Leliana while Cullen could be heard grumbling in the background. "The interlude is fast approaching. It is important that we all attend."

Leliana slowly moved her eyes from Josephine and exchanged a glance with Cullen. He looked less than impressed.

Josephine continued while Juliette reached for another pile of reports. "The interlude is for us to connect as colleagues and friends." She lifted her pen in the air after writing, with a dramatic gesture that she held while observing the shared look of disinterest that Cullen and Leliana traded amongst themselves. "Lest we lose sight of shared goals in the fog of petty differences."

Leliana glanced back to Josephine and sighed dramatically. "Have you at least brought the catalogue from Val Royeaux?"

"Oh, yes! It's right here," Josephine's perked up with enthusiasm as Leliana made her way closer.

Cullen stared at the map on the table, the lines marking Redcliffe Village blurring through his tired eyes. Lines and shapes lost focus the longer he stared, until there were three of Lake Calenhad.

"Is anyone actually reading through these reports?" Juliette asked. Her voice was feathery, like music to his ears. Softly, it nudged him from his dissociating stare.

He glanced to her while she absorbed herself in mission summaries with pursed lips and a furrowed brow. Cullen smiled as he watched her.

"The answers you're searching for are on page forty-seven," he spoke, his voice warm and gentle.

Juliette's attention lifted from the papers, an expression of surprise lighting up her face when their eyes met. A smile, small yet sweet, swept across her lips before she returned her focus to the reports.

"You've answered both my questions. Thank you, Commander."

Cullen chuckled, his voice a low, deep rumble, sending a shiver through Juliette. "Anytime, Inquisitor."

She glanced back up at him, quickly, almost to be missed had he not been paying attention. Though Cullen was paying attention. All his attention, on her.

She could feel his eyes on her. Her body tingled in response, words read over and over but not sinking in. The more she thought about it, the further distracted she had become. All of a sudden she was aware of her breath, the thumping of her heartbeat and the light prickling sensation that crept over her skin at the thought of him. From the corner of her eyes she could see movement. She could hear him walking around the table, his armor creaking to announce his arrival.

Her breath felt stuck in her throat as he stood beside her, conscious of how it might sound, how she might look by simply existing in his presence. An involuntary hum escaped her lips, awkward and uncontrolled. She could feel a flash of heat cross her face, leaving her momentarily dizzy.

Cullen quietly drew in a breath, leaning in close, he spoke in a low whisper. "It has come to my attention that you've been using some…"

She shifted her balance in response to him, both comfortable and uncomfortable at once. She wanted to be this close, closer even. But she also wanted to hide.

Juliette looked up at him, their eyes meeting in an electric moment, tension between them rising. Her lips parted slightly as she held eye contact, a warm blush in her cheeks.

Cullen cleared his throat softly before continuing, averting his eyes, but staying close, his lips hovering near her ear.

"I've heard that you have been using some unconventional methods of moving about Skyhold."

Juliette smirked, lowering her head as she gently placed the reports on the table. "And of what concern is that to you?" her voice was low and sultry as she looked up at him, their faces close. She had surprised even herself with such a poised reply, almost as though she were acting on instinct, thoughts pushed aside momentarily. Her focus fell to his neck, noticing where his stubble stopped, and the movement beneath his chin as he swallowed. Slowly, her eyes drifted upward, lingering on his lips for a second before returning to meet his gaze.

Cullen's lips twitched, as though hesitating before he returned her smug smirk. Although his complexion told otherwise, his voice carried an air of confidence.

"As your advisor, may I suggest that you use the stairs for their intended purpose?" His voice was a low murmur, a hushed tone that almost caused Juliette to give in. Yet she stood her ground, played along with a bite of her lip and looked back to the table. Are we…flirting?

The thought made her heart skip a beat. What a dangerous game to be playing, this close, here at the war table. Her eyes darted across the room, ensuring that Leliana and Josephine were still preoccupied. She looked back up to him, worried of the blush that was surely in her cheeks to betray her.

She caught a glimpse of his expression, a fleeting moment where he smiled at her in a way that defied sensibility. There was a softness in his eyes, an almost dream-like quality, different from the weary exhaustion that she'd come to expect. But it all happened so fast, she couldn't be sure. It seemed far too good to be true.

Her eyes must have given Cullen pause, because when her gaze returned to him, his face had hardened. He stepped back abruptly, creating distance while his posture straightened.

Juliette hoped she had masked her disappointment, had not given herself away. She exhaled softly, though shaky, as she reached forward for the reports once more. Eyes focused as she shuffled the papers in her hands, she said, "As my advisor, I hope you can respect my decision to descend staircases in what manner I see fit."

"So you do know what I'm referring to?," he asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

She glanced across to him, noticing the smile pulling on his lips, the small creases in the corners of his eyes. He had since picked up reports to read for himself, though she wondered just how much attention he was paying to them.

"The Maker blessed me with the ability to jump, Cullen. It would be blasphemy to waste such talent."

Leliana and Josephine's chattering ceased as they looked up from the catalogues, their eyes snapping to Juliette and Cullen. Juliette slowly turned her head towards them, showing an awkward smile.

Leliana and Josephine swapped an amused glance before returning to their conversation.

Cullen cleared his throat with a chuckle. "Let me ask you this. How do you intend to ride a horse with two broken legs, Inquisitor?"

She looked at him, trying to resist a smirk. The smugness in his voice broke any chance she had of remaining composed. She glared playfully, her smirk widening.

"I will use the stairs for their intended purpose," she replied with an exaggerated defeat in her tone.

Cullen grinned dropping the reports to the table with finality. "As I expected," he said, wearing a smug expression while he returned to his initial spot at the table. Juliette snuck in a glance as he moved away, a coy smile on her lips.

A knock on the door halted the hushed conversation between Josephine and Leliana, silence falling over the room. Leliana swiftly made way for the door, speaking quietly as though she had anticipated the interruption.

Juliette lifted the chalice on the table before her, remnants of the sweet scent of spiced plum gracing her senses as she raised it to her mouth. She stopped, pulling away the cup with a twist to her lips as she swayed it side to side. A soft sigh escaped when she placed it back down, a fleeting moment of disappointment washing over her. Putting the empty chalice out of mind, she slowly wandered along the side of the war table, her fingers gliding over its map, lightly brushing against the lines that marked southern Ferelden.

Cullen’s eyes followed the movement of her hands, watching as her fingers gracefully slid along the surface, soft and delicate. It was unintended, he was certain, yet the sight teased him in ways he hadn't anticipated. He'd found himself lost in thought, her fingers moving down his body, just like that — more times than he'd care to admit.

He tore away his eyes, staring up at the ceiling with a deep exhale. Her voice was a soft murmur as she looked over letters with Josephine. Cullen closed his eyes for just a moment before gathering himself. As he opened his eyes, they landed on her drink, then moved to the half empty bottle of Antivan wine that sat on the far end of the table. Without a second thought he reached for her chalice, walking to the bottle quietly, unnoticed, as Juliette and Josie talked.

"And he's supporting this?" She asked, a little waver of surprise in her voice.

"Very much so," Josephine responded with intrigue.

"Well, if he's to cause no trouble then I say we do it!" Juliette proclaimed. Without looking he could hear her smiling by the tone of her voice. He couldn't help but smile himself.

"Top mine up too while you're at it," Leliana said loudly returning to the room. Cullen started ahead for a moment before shaking his head. "Right."

He grabbed the bottle once more, moving to where the women stood.

"We were just discussing Marquis DuRellion's letter," Juliette explained. She glanced over to Cullen with a smile. "He is delighted with the monument that your soldiers built in Haven."

"Delighted seems too light a word" Cullen muttered while pouring Leliana's drink.

"Ah-uh," Leliana raised her glass, motioning for Cullen to top it up further.

"You could pour your own next time," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"Fill one, fill them all. I don't make the rules, Commander," Leliana grinned.

Cullen obliged , pouring more wine into Leliana's cup, while glancing back at Juliette. "Most of Haven is destroyed. Excavation was slow, as you can imagine," he said regretfully. "But I'm glad the Marquis has come to his senses in a time of crisis."

"He won't oppose us, if we were to hold a vigil," Juliette said hopefully.

Cullen placed the bottle down and looked back to her, his expression softening.

"That is if it's safe to do so?" she added with hesitation.

"We will make sure that it is safe," Leliana said, determined. "I'll have agents watching closely."

"With enough of our soldiers, we can ensure it. That is if you feel comfortable returning?" Cullen asked, his eyes lingering on her expression.

She held eye contact, nodding gently. "I would like to pay my respects to those that lost their lives fighting for us."

"A vigil is a fine idea, Inquisitor," he said softly. "I'll make sure that it happens."

Slowly Cullen raised a fist to his chest, all the while his eyes locked onto hers. It was a formal response, one she had grown accustomed to from many others, yet as Cullen performed the gesture, there was something deeper hidden within his movements. It was more gentle, deliberate. He didn't look at her the same as the others.

Deep within her contemplation, she dared to smile. Whether she had read too far into it or not, her reaction was genuine, acting on impulse. Then, he smiled back. A subtle lift in his lips, a warmth in his eyes, focused on her.

"I'll write to the neighbouring Banns." Josephine's voice was soothing as it blurred into the background.

Juliette felt as though she couldn't look away from Cullen. Their eyes lingered for what could have only been a few seconds, but to her, if felt like an eternity. Even as he pulled his eyes away, she could still feel the way he looked at her. The intensity of his gaze, the gentle concern in his eyes — it never left her.

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