#xao3

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“Which story are you going to tell me today?”

“You can choose between how I threw Juliet’s first girlfriend over the hedge, or the time Artemis’s first outing almost caused an international incident.”

Butler’s job as Artemis’s bodyguard has been turbulent since Day 1 but at least his emotional state was in less of a turmoil.

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Guys, it's finally happening! Part 5 of Diamond Blue and Cinnamon Gold is hitting your virtual bookshelves in less than 48 hours on your local fanfiction websites!

If you want to get up to date, where the story was left off, now is the time. I'm so excited (and relieved that I finally got around to finish the story!) and I hope you are too!

There will be action, fluff, humour and baby Artemis! 🤩

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"Is this how your 'simple missions' usually go?" she asked finally, once Butler had seated himself.

"No. Usually, there are more shootouts," he admitted.

In which all comes to an end. One way or another.

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Butler felt exposed. And if Butler felt exposed, he got jumpy. And if Butler got jumpy, he was ten times more likely to shoot somebody.

In which everything is revealed. In the worst possible way.

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Scene Snippet Sack

Once they had finished the cannelloni, and halfway through tiramisu, Artemis came out with it. "I am in need of your assistance."

"Oh?" Sofia lifted the wine bottle and, finding it empty, set it down again with a disappointed sigh.

"Are you familiar with Solomon's bracelet?"

"The one he allegedly gifted the Queen of Sheba?"

Artemis nodded. "With clues on how to find his lost treasure. Yes, precisely."

"That's a fairy tale," Sofia chuckled. "Like Atlantis and El Dorado."

The boy leaned back in his chair. "What if I told you that the alleged bracelet is right here in New York, and that you could have a look at this potentially priceless artefact?"

"Then I'd tell you I won't steal it for you, Artemis," she answered with a snort.

Artemis didn't even try to deny his intentions. Instead, he steepled his fingers on the tiny kitchen table, the gesture bordering on the absurd. 

"I am not asking you to steal it for me, Professor. All I need is your expertise in Israeli culture. I am willing to pay you for your efforts."

- Chapter 1, Solomon’s Gift

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Scene Snippet Sack

Butler was standing in the lobby. He was still the same towering, broad-shouldered man, but now he radiated an aura of sophisticated nobility.

Noticing her dazzlement, Artemis grinned. "Isn't it astonishing how a few small adjustments can change a man?"

She saw what he meant. Butler wore one of his own dark blue suits. He had, however, exchanged the usual discreet tie with a much flashier yellow-blue striped one, matching the silken handkerchief in his breast pocket. Even his posture spoke of a man whose hardest decision had been to choose bespoke shoes for his suit that day. The result of which he now presented the world. Understated cufflinks flashed when he pulled his hands out of his pockets.

"Couldn't I have done the same?" Sofia asked, trying hard to walk properly under Butler's steady gaze. Had they turned on the heater in the lobby all of a sudden?

Artemis scoffed. "Professor, Butler is like a townhouse in London's best neighbourhood that easily increases in value with a fresh coat of paint. You, no offence, are a construction site. In Glasgow. In the worst neighbourhood. With–"

"Okay, okay. I get it," she hissed, her hand flying to the base of her neck and touching the braid that was still in place.

- Chapter 2, Solomon’s Gift

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It was Artemis. He didn't even have to check the caller ID. Flipping the phone open, he answered the call with an uncharming grunt.

"There has been a slight hiccup in our plans," his employer said without greeting. "May I suggest you get moving whilst I talk?"

Chapter 4 is here, in which we will learn that improvisation is everything! ;-)

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The Butlers have been protecting the Fowls for centuries. Except that one time, when Dima and Domovoi Butler were scheming to kill the Fowls...

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Chapters: 1/1 

Fandom: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer 

Characters: Domovoi Butler, The Major (Artemis Fowl), Original Characters

Additional Tags: Family, Trauma, Angst, Humor, Slow Burn, Bonding

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Scene Snippet Sack

Butler opened the folder, scanning the names and attached photos. He nodded curtly. The Major continued with a red one.

“These are the schedules of the household. The Fowls’ agendas are on top, followed by kitchen, gym, cleaning, maintenance work, etcetera. Mrs Fowl is not due for another two months. Until she gives birth, you will join the other security guards, shadowing them during their work and getting familiar with our protocols. You can use your free time as you please, but I warn you, free time is scarce. Any questions?”

Before Butler could answer, someone knocked on the door.

“Come in,” the Major called out.

Turning to the newcomers, Butler inclined his head towards a woman with curly hair. Probably one of the maids at the Manor, he thought as she averted her eyes. She was holding the hand of a young girl, her blonde hair braided into pigtails.

“Thank you, Claire. Butler, Claire was kind enough to agree to also look after Juliet until Mrs Fowl’s son is born,” the Major said. Butler frowned. Why would she take care of –

He glanced at the child’s blue eyes and froze. No one but a Butler could have such strikingly dark blue eyes.

“Who is that?” Butler asked hoarsely.

“Juliet. Your sister,” the Major said, brushing past him and crouching down. Even crouching, he still towered over the tiny girl.

“Yulchonok,” he said in a tone Butler had never heard his uncle use before. Was he being… tender? “Remember about the visitor I told you about?”

The child bobbed her head up and down energetically, her eyes lighting up. “Mama and Dada?”

The Major was silent, his face unreadable. Then he shook his head.

“No, not them. But your brother is here,” he told her and pointed to the gawking Butler. Juliet screwed up her nose before turning to her uncle.

“He looks funny.”

Chuckling, the Major patted her head.

“I agree. Do you think you could play a bit with him after lunch?”

Juliet gave Butler another critical look before shaking her head and grabbing one of the Major’s big hands with both her toy-like ones.

“No, you play with me.”

- Saplings

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"Is it true then, the Kiselyovs have graced us with their presence?"

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Chapter 2 is up!

In which Butler and Sofia get into character and the heat is turned up several notches... hehe.

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Chapters: 1/1 Rating: T Characters: Holly Short, Trouble Kelp, Artemis Fowl II, Foaly, Julius Root Additional Tags: Drama, Romance, Humor, Fairy Tale Retellings Summary:

Once upon a time... a mermaid fell in love with a human and gave up her voice to meet him. But can she truly trust the sea warlock to keep his word? Can love save the day or should she have stayed under the sea?

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Scene Snippet Snack

Looking down, Holly's eyes widened at a single reflective eye, glaring at her like a silver disc. She redoubled her efforts and braced herself against the creature. Foaly swam around, heedless and of no help, and with another sudden yank, the darkness inside the rock swallowed Holly. The hole closed with a grating sound and trapped her with the beast. Holly clenched her eyes shut, waiting for the creature to swallow her. Nothing happened. Someone let out a low laugh, cold and unmerciful.

A moment later, the cave was illuminated by a dim light. Holly cracked an eye open, looking at the sea warlock Artemis, his lower body that of an octopus. He smirked and leaned back in his stone chair, placing his fingertips together. His tentacles always kept moving, never pausing in one position for long.

"Holly, it's so nice of you to visit me."

She clenched her hands into fists.

"I'm not here by choice. What do you want from me?" 

"Ah," Artemis raised a finger, "The right question is, what can I do for you?

"What do you mean?" she asked, her eyes narrowed.

"You want to be with your human, do you not?" he asked. "But he cannot live under the sea. So, the only way is for you to become human."

Holly's mouth fell open.

"Can you do such a thing?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Nothing easier than that."

He studied her for a long moment before he rose.

"Very well, let's make a deal," he said, all business, gliding around her.

- Holly (The Little Mermaid)

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Scene Snippet Sack

Faint sounds came from his pocket, and he pulled the phone out, holding it to his ear.

"Another man is heading straight–,"

Butler didn't wait to hear the rest of the sentence. He didn't need to. The door to the stairwell already swung open, and his brain's prefrontal cortex shut down. His soldier instincts took over. There was no space for any other thought than "Eliminate the threat". The distance was too great for close combat. No cover available. No time to break into one of the office spaces either. Female individual behind him, just short of 5'7" in height, mostly untrained, injured, easy target. He absorbed all this information like a fast-forwarded news ticker, while his hand reached for his Sig Sauer.

Sofia turned to him.

"What's the–," she stopped, her head turning to Butler's hand at her shoulder before he shoved her back. She went tumbling into the grey and blue carpet with the auction's house emblem printed all over.

Butler registered her fall in slow motion, his body turning towards the swing door and the newcomer. He aimed, pulled the trigger, and initiated the gun's inner mechanism. A bullet exited the barrel with a bright flash, and the cartridge sped towards its intended target.

 - Chapter 4, Solomon’s Gift

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I am a wee bit proud of the cover for Act I of my Slow Burn Butler fanfiction. :-)

It’s a shame you can’t upload any covers on Ao3, so I’ll post it here instead. Oh, and if you are interested in reading some Butler action, feel free to check it out!

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Scene Snippet Sack

Butler let out a mirthless chuckle. Italian was a pretty language, except it wouldn't do if you wanted to curse.

"Not the word I would have chosen," he admitted before the stairwell lighting went out and plunged them into darkness.

The image of a sterile and freezing morgue flashed before his eyes. He had counted every crack in the tiled floor of the run-down building. Forty-eight. He counted the length of every white cloud coming from his mouth. Consistent. They had to be consistent. Erratic breathing could be interpreted as weakness. He couldn't show weakness. He was calm. Collected. He nodded, keeping his eyes trained on the hands in gloves. Blue, stretching over several prison tattoos. They pulled back a white sheet, the sound like thunder in the dead silent morgue. Butler stared at an unrecognisable–

The front door was opened. Someone punched the light switch, flooding the staircase with light again. Butler looked up and gave the professor a weary look.

Most unusual for him, a string of Russian curses popped up in his mind that would have even made Juliet blush. He jerked his head towards the exit and strode out of the New Yorker apartment complex. 

- Chapter 8, The Angel Conundrum

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Chapters: 1/1 Rating: T Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Domovoi Butler, Original Characters Additional Tags: Adventure, Humor, Fluff, Slow Burn, Soldiers Summary:

Getting Butler to talk about his time in the army is hard. After all, one does not become a Blue Diamond by sitting down for some senseless chitchat. So, how do you get Butler to tell a story? By tempting him with an equally wild story in exchange.