#xD so i just went penelope

[basketonthedoorstepofthefbi]

Wingwoman (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Summary: You take your good friend/coworker, Spencer, out to the bar to find him a girl to hook up with. Things do not go as planned.

Word Count: 5107

Warnings: Romantic/sexual tension! Mentions of drinking / sex

A/N: Hi! I haven't written posted fanfic in like, 8 years, please be nice xD I would love to know your thoughts - if you have any requests or anything, I'm happy to oblige. ALSO -- I have only seen up to Season 7 of Criminal Minds because I'm a fckn loser. Anywayyyyy enjoy! Not my gif btw, all credit to the owner :)

———————————

It was kind of your fault, now that you were thinking back on it. 

Actually, it was definitely your fault, now that you were thinking back on it. 

It had been your suggestion to go out. It had been your idea to act as Spencer’s wingwoman, some last-ditch effort to try to get him out of your mind. He was your coworker, for Christ’s sake. And your best friend. And you’d thought about him desperately for eight of the nine months that you’d known him. 

Emily, Derek, and Penelope had all agreed to tag along, but as the work day went on, each of your coworkers had found some kind of excuse to opt-out. Derek’s niece wanted to Facetime. Penelope forgot Kevin’s birthday was next week and needed to go shopping for a present. Emily had a headache. 

Finding Spencer a romantic prospect on your own was certainly not the plan, but, stupidly, thoughtlessly, you’d decided to go along with it. You could do this. Just one night in a bar, chatting up women for the man you’d slowly been falling for the past eight months. As good of an idea as any, right? 

You and Spencer took an Uber to the bar the group frequented. Ski-ball and pool in one corner, a vintage jukebox and small space set aside as a makeshift dance floor in the other. But the best part - half-off drinks for federal agents. You’d never been one to abuse the badge before, but… 

Three Jack-and-Diet-Cokes later, your moral code had a bit of a crack in it. 

Spencer stood next to you - towered over you, actually, because that man was a fucking beanpole - and you felt his eyes on you as you scanned the crowd. “What about her?” you suggested, jerking your chin to the woman at a high-top table against the wall. She had her nose stuck in her phone and an untouched martini on the table in front of her. 

“She’s clearly waiting for someone,” Spencer pointed out, and you realized he was right just as the woman looked up from her phone and towards the door for the third time in the past minute. “I also don’t understand why you’re so dead set on finding someone to hog me up with.” 

You snorted into your drink. “Hog you up with?” you repeated, turning in your barstool so you faced him. Your knees brushed his thighs. 

“Yeah, is that not…” realization dawned on Spencer and he grimaced. “That’s not the phrase, is it?” 

“Hook,” you corrected, but not impatiently. You made a little hook with your index finger, like a pirate. A little giggle escaped you. “And I’m not dead set on it,” you argued. “I just didn’t want to be the only one leaving the bar with someone.” 

Your eyes flickered up to Spencer’s to gauge his reaction. He seemed surprised by this implication that you planned to leave with someone - someone who was not him. 

“Yeah? Who are you leaving with, matey?” Spencer countered, arching a brow and pointedly looking at your index finger, still in its hooked position. You dropped your hand. 

“It doesn’t matter right now,” you blushed furiously, desperately trying to drive the conversation back to his romantic conquests. Your thought process was that if you actually saw Spencer with someone else in any sort of romantic capacity - dancing, flirting, kissing - you’d finally hurt yourself enough with the sight for those stupid feelings for him to dissipate. “We’re looking for you.” 

Spencer merely hmm-ed in response, an indecisive non-answer, and you noticed he shook his head. Like he was annoyed, but trying not to show it. You swallowed the lump in your throat and polished off your drink before returning to examining the patrons in the bar. You nudged Spencer’s elbow with your own and your gaze landed on the group of three women giggling around one of the tables. “Any of them? The blonde is cute,” you pointed out. 

“Not really into blondes,” Spencer muttered, and you glanced back at him. You could have sworn his eyes were locked on your brunette hair. You opened your mouth to say something, but Spencer cut you off. “But, sure, if watching me strike out will amuse you, Y/N.” Before you could protest, Spencer set his glass down on the bar and started towards the trio of women at the table. 

You leaned down to sniff his glass, curious as to what he’d been drinking. Clear liquid. No smell. Was he… totally sober? 

You watched with narrowed, studious eyes as Spencer approached the women. You could only see the back of his head, but the three women’s faces were perfectly visible. They smiled, friendly, unassuming, and then something came out of Spencer’s mouth that changed their expressions. The blonde in the middle furrowed her brows, and the two women on either side cocked their heads slightly. Spencer’s hand tapped the table and he earned awkward smiles as a goodbye was bid, and when he turned around to head back towards the bar, he just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, like what are you gonna do? 

“What happened?” you asked as he returned to you. 

“I blew it,” Spencer said matter-of-factly. Too accepting of his defeat. Further supporting your theory that he’d gone over there and purposefully botched it. 

“Right,” you flagged down the bartender to order another drink. 

“You’re getting another one?” Spencer asked. 

You whirled your face to meet his and didn’t see judgment, but rather, concern. “Why does it matter?” you asked, no, dared. 

Spencer shook his head, defeatedly. “It doesn’t,” he grumbled. 

“What about that girl you were talking to earlier by the jukebox?” you asked, nudging his shin with your foot. “The grabby one. She seemed really into you.” 

Spencer visibly gritted his teeth. “I’m not interested.” 

“Are you interested in anyone in this bar tonight?” You asked. The words came too quickly for you to stop them. They were too real. Especially as Spencer’s frown hardened just slightly and you watched him look away from you. 

You took in a sharp inhale, the realization hitting you, the possibility that Spencer might actually feel the same way about you. And that you’d dragged him out here tonight to try and set him up with someone else. You were selfish and thoughtless and stupid. 

You hopped off the barstool, your feet wavering beneath you. “I’d better go home,” you said suddenly, grabbing your bag. You had to leave. You had to go home before you said something stupid, something irreversible. 

You stalked out of the bar and onto the brisk, late-autumn sidewalk. You’d forgotten your coat at the office and insisted you’d be fine. The chill smacked you in the face and you tucked your bag beneath your shoulder so you could cross your arms over your chest and hug yourself for any semblance of warmth. 

Thirty seconds hadn’t even passed before the door creaked and Spencer appeared at your side, throwing his coat wordlessly over your shoulders. “What did I do?” he asked. You looked up at him and saw his eyes - hurt, frustrated, confused. 

Your lips parted and there was a small shake of your head. “No,” you breathed. He furrowed his brows and you explained further. “You didn’t do anything.” 

“Then why the hell have you been so weird around me lately?” Spencer asked, scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk. Like a temperamental first-grader. 

“Weird how?” You asked, trying to pretend like you had no idea what he was talking about. Like your stomach didn’t flip every morning when you saw him. 

“Like you’re… like you’re mad at me. Like you don’t want to be around me,” Spencer looked at the street ahead of the both of you rather than at you. “You always find an excuse to leave the room when it’s just the two of us. You pull Derek or Emily or Penelope into the conversation so you don’t have to interact with just me. You’re out here trying to find me someone to hook up with?” he phrased the last sentence as a question, shaking his head. Your heart lurched. He let out an incredulous laugh. “It’s either you’re trying to shrug me off as a friend entirely, or -” 

He stopped himself. His eyes were fixed on the streetlamp a few feet in front of you. They widened and you felt your heart pound as he slowly met your gaze. The realization hit him, the second half of his sentence lingering, heavy and palpable between the two of you. 

“Or,” you repeated, not phrasing it as a question. Your voice was soft as you said it, your tone anything but a question. 

“Or?” Spencer asked, and you could see his chest start to rise and fall more slowly. 

“Or,” you confirmed, taking in a sharp breath. 

Spencer’s throat bobbed as he looked at you, his gaze piercing and soft, studious and lazy, hungry and satiated all at once. “Oh.” 

Oh. 

“How long?” he asked, turning his feet towards you. 

Your face went red and you lifted your chin, refusing to make yourself feel ashamed of it anymore. There wasn’t any point, not when he knew now. “Since March,” you admitted. Your voice was squeaky. 

“March?” Spencer repeated, incredulous. It was early October now. 

“Yeah,” you exhaled, shrugging his jacket off your shoulders and bunching it up by the middle. You handed it to him. “You don’t have to say anything,” you said. Your body felt like it was on fire. “You don’t have to-”

“I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.” 

You thought maybe you were hallucinating for a second. Your mouth fell open and despite your three drinks, you remembered clearly that Spencer had been drinking water. This was not some drunken confession, not for either of you, because the second he’d asked you why you had been so weird lately, you had instantly sobered up. “Oh,” was all you managed to choke out.

Oh. 

“Yeah, oh,” Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smile. That playful, friendly, teasing little smile you’d learned to love on him. He stepped towards you. 

You let out this little half-garbled laugh. Spencer reached for your hand, and you let him. Your fingers spread, allowing his in the spaces between. You looked up at Spencer and little fires shot up your hand. How could merely holding hands feel so monumental? 

“What do we… what do we do now?” You asked, your mind in a haze, like a computer awaiting command. 

Spencer let his jacket fall to the concrete and used his other hand to slowly, almost hesitantly, cup your cheek. He looked down at you and your entire face reddened. “Well,” his voice was soft, crackling, like a fireplace, and he met your gaze with searching eyes. “I’d like to kiss you now, if that would be okay,” he said finally. Your lips turned up into an idiotic smile. 

“I think that would be okay,” you whispered. 

His hands were so soft, you realized. His grip on your hand loosened and he was now cupping your face on both sides. And every nerve in your cheeks was firing off signals - Spencer is touching my face, Spencer is touching my face. Like it was some forbidden thing. But then, as if in slow motion, he ducked his head down and his lips touched yours. Gently, at first, tentative and wobbly like a foal taking its first steps. Your hands rested on his torso - taut beneath that stupid little sweater vest. 

He pulled back after just a moment. It was really only five or six seconds at the most, but you were red-faced and breathless by the time your eyes fluttered open, into his. Spencer’s smile was now a full-blown grin, and your expression mirrored his. “Yeah?” He asked, the word carrying more meaning. You’re into this, right? 

“Yeah,” you exhaled as Spencer dropped his hands from your face, but your hands remained on his torso, not wanting to step away just yet. The syllable meant more coming from you, too. I’m really, very much, super into this. Please, for the love of god, kiss me again. 

Spencer arched a brow ever so slightly, and you nodded your head. 

Just like a dance, Spencer’s hands moved to your waist, and at the same time, you slid yours around his neck. He backed you up, completely disregarding his jacket on the sidewalk, until you were flush against the brick wall belonging to the bar. The brisk October breeze ruffled through his hair and yours, yet, suddenly, neither of you were terribly concerned about the weather. 

He kissed you again, and this time it wasn’t as timid. Slowly, at first, his lips pressed against yours, and then his tongue darted out. It teased your lips in silent invitation, and you opened them to grant him access. His hands were everywhere, your hips, your hair, your face. You had moved your own down to his torso again. He coaxed the tiniest little mewl out of your throat, a completely uncontrollable and inevitable noise. 

Spencer’s low, gravelly groan reverberated through your mouth. Your hands gripped the bottom half of his shirt, balling it up in tight, white-knuckled fists. An unmistakable hardness brushed against your thigh. You were perfectly content to stay right there, pinned against the exterior wall of a D.C. bar, but the sound of a car honking its horn peeled Spencer off of you. 

His face was flushed and you released his shirt from your grasp. He let out a small grunt, stepping away from you to grab his jacket off the ground, wrinkling it haphazardly in his hand, holding it strategically over his middle. 

Oh, he liked you a lot. 

“You okay, Spence?” You asked all-knowingly, cocking your head to the side, leaning against the wall, lifting a foot to plant against it. 

Spencer shot a set of narrowed eyes at you, as if noting your smirk and storing it for later. “Yeah, I’m great,” he said, obviously struggling a little bit. His eyes quickly left yours and looked everywhere but at you. 

You didn’t want to embarrass him too much. So you just crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the sidewalk. But the smirk on your face wasn’t going away quite so easily. You considered briefly trying to talk to him about baseball or something to try and help him out, but you decided pointing it out would just humiliate him. Plus, it was a nice little ego boost, knowing you could get him like that with just a simple touch. 

He took a second, but he finally cleared his throat and met your gaze. You sucked your front teeth with your tongue and then bit your lip. “Want me to call an Uber?” You asked. 

Spencer just nodded, and you pushed yourself off the wall, stepping over to join him, digging your phone out of your pocket to order the car. “You okay?” You asked him again after submitting the request on your phone. Spencer’s face was still flushed, but he just nodded and reached for your hand. “Careful,” you warned, unable to resist the opportunity to tease him. “Don’t want you having an-“

“Shut up,” Spencer cut you off, and you snickered. 

——————————————————

You had never been in Spencer’s apartment before. It was unmistakably his, with stacks upon stacks of books in lieu of furniture. 

There was a sofa in his living room, along with a coffee table, a couple of lamps, and a television on a stand. The remaining space, besides a few spots here and there and a clear path with which to maneuver the room, was filled with books. 

You had never seen so many books in someone’s possession before. And sure, you were an avid reader yourself. But nothing like this. Your heart fluttered at the sight, not only because books simply just made you happy, but because it was an incredibly endearing detail about Spencer. Your Spencer. 

He shut and locked the door after you stepped inside, looking around with a childlike, awestruck grin. The TV had a thin layer of dust over the screen - he clearly didn’t use it often. And as you trailed a finger along the top of the nearest stack of books, you felt a pair of eyes watching your every move. 

You and Spencer had both been quiet in the Uber ride here. He had simply held your hand, swiping his thumb across the back of your palm every few seconds. You would occasionally meet his gaze, but then quickly, bashfully, look away, like the two of you were teenagers. 

It was so strange to think of what he had said to you - I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met. How had you not figured it out before now? 

You supposed you had been hiding your true feelings as well, so he was allowed to, too. 

There wasn’t any point in wishing to change the past, you reminded yourself. All you should be focusing on is right now. 

And right now, the street lamps peeked in through Spencer’s living room window, glinting off of his endless brown eyes and making them look like he had the moon in his irises. 

“So,” you said softly, not nearly as wicked as you had been when you were teasing him on the street by the bar. “This is where you live.” 

“Uh-huh,” Spencer bobbed his head, that awkward, straight-line smile crossing his face.

“Lot of books,” you pointed out. 

“Yep.” 

You arched a brow, a teasing smile crossing your face once again. “What’s with the monosyllabic conversation?” 

Spencer clenched and unclenched his fists at his side. “It’s just… really difficult to just stand here and not touch you,” he admitted, a sheepish smile crossing his face. 

You grinned. “You can touch me,” your voice dropped an octave, without you even really thinking about it. 

Spencer licked a canine with the tip of his tongue. God, that tongue. You remembered how he’d teased you less than an hour ago outside of the bar. “Maybe I will,” he shrugged, and you rolled your eyes. 

“You can’t really play it cool, right now, Spencer. Not when I just gave you a-“

“Please stop talking,” Spencer laughed, crossing the room and cupping your cheeks in his hands all in the same movement. You snickered and he kissed you and anything you might have been wanting to make fun of him for was forgotten about. 

You pressed your hands against his chest - holy pectorals, Batman - and craned your neck up so you could reach him. Spencer slid his own hands down your arms and to your hips, and you looped your arms around his neck. One palm flattened against the back of his head, holding him in place, fingers curling around pieces of his soft hair. 

Your heart was hammering away, and there was this aching, hot feeling that was pooling in your core and you all of a sudden felt hungry. Starving for Spencer, for every piece of him, for fully and finally crossing that line from friend to lover. An insatiable hunger for nearly every moment since you’d known him.

Finally you broke away from him, simply because oxygen was a necessity, and he rested his forehead against yours. Your eyes were still closed and your fingers ground into his scalp. “Look at me,” he requested, his voice low. 

Your eyes opened obediently and one of Spencer Reid’s hands curled under your chin. His face moved away from yours but his gaze was locked on yours, a pinpoint, a Northern Star. 

And when Spencer spoke again, your knees buckled. 

“I want you.”

Your mouth fell open, ever so slightly, and you nodded. “I want you, too,” you whispered. 

“Are you still…?” He asked, his eyes searching yours. You’d had three drinks earlier that evening, after all, but you’d polished the last one off nearly an hour ago. Maybe not fully sober, but sober enough to know what you wanted. 

“I’m fine,” you assured him. 

Spencer inclined his head to the side. “You’re sure? Can you pass a sobriety test?” 

You narrowed your eyes at him before you realized he was being sarcastic. You stepped back from him, shrugging off his hands, and extended your arms, touching your nose with your left hand, then your right. Spencer just laughed, and reached out for you, tugging you back to him. “Okay,” he chuckled, planting a kiss on your neck. You let him. “You’re fine, then?”

“I’m fine,” you agreed, shrugging him out of his sweater vest, and then reaching for the buttons on his shirt underneath. 

Spencer kissed your neck as you fumbled with the buttons - how were buttons suddenly impossible to undo? Your head craned back just slightly on instinct, wanting - needing - to allow Spencer more access. Your dexterity had become abysmal at this point, and Spencer’s lips were kissing your neck, down your throat, teasing at your collarbone. “Spencer,” you managed to groan out, a wave of annoyance present in your tone. 

“What?” he asked, pulling back, concern filling his face. 

You realized you had actually worried him. “Oh, no, no,” you waved it away, and he visibly relaxed. “I’m just really frustrated, because… because your shirt,” you stammered, and Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smirk. 

“My shirt,” he stated. 

“That one, right here,” You laughed softly, curling your fingers around the buttons. You managed to wiggle one free, then another. Spencer leaned forward to continue kissing your neck, but you held a hand up to stop him. “Hang on,” you murmured, working through another button, and one more. “I’m concentrating.” 

“You’re sticking your tongue out,” Spencer snickered. Your eyes met his and your cheeks flushed.

“I’m concentrating!” Your voice rose slightly in self-defense. Spencer’s hands went to your hips. 

“It’s adorable,” he told you. “You make the same face at work. When you’re in the middle of filling out a form or trying to open a new bottle of coffee creamer without spilling it,” Spencer rubbed circles in your hips and your fingers stopped working again. 

“You noticed that kind of stuff?” You asked softly, looking up at him with doe eyes.

Spencer just nodded. “All the time.” 

I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.

You inhaled sharply, finally undoing the last button.The skin beneath the shirt was pale, smooth, and perfect. And when he slid his arms through the sleeves and the shirt fell to the ground, you bit your lip, unable to help it. 

“Y/N?” 

You met Spencer’s gaze and let out this awkward little laugh. Embarrassing, really, if you hadn’t been in the company of your best friend. “You okay?” he asked, and you felt a little giddy as you nodded, moving your hands to his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him again. 

You didn’t know which direction the bedroom was in, so you just took a guess, pushing him back towards one of the doors. He kept his hands on your hips and his lips pressed against yours as he guided you, walking backwards, to the right door. You entered the bedroom and could not possibly be bothered to look around right now, not when Spencer was guiding you in a circle by merely touching your hips, not when the back of your knees hit what was unmistakably a mattress, not when you fell back against it. 

Your eyes were shut, unwilling to take in your surroundings as Spencer guided you onto your back. You toed off your shoes before lifting your legs, and Spencer hovered over you. Your lips were locked with his the entire time. And when you finally opened your eyes and you saw only Spencer, you grinned like a fool. 

Spencer’s fingers were like taking a shower. They were all over you - your hips, first, then your stomach, and you had to resist the urge to giggle because they tickled as he teased the bottom hem of your shirt up. You sat up slightly to get the blouse over your head and you watched him discard it onto the floor. And then his hands were over your chest, thumbs teasing under the wire of your bra, outlining the shapes of your breasts. 

Your breathing had gone heavy and staccato by this point, your body sinking into the mattress, shipwrecked as Spencer touched you. His eyes wandered over your and that little smile on his face was enough for you to know that he was immensely enjoying himself. 

“Can I…?” Spencer’s hands wandered down and gripped your pants as he looked into your eyes, a brow arched. 

You swallowed a lump in your throat and your blush appeared over your cheeks at the same time as his. “Yeah,” you whispered, and Spencer helped you wiggle out of your pants - black slacks, since you had gone straight from work to the bar. They were soon tossed to the floor, and you were only in your underwear and your bra. And Spencer’s brown eyes did not make you feel objectified or embarrassed, but safe. 

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he told you, seriously, and your breath hitched in your throat. 

“You-”

“I’m not done,” Spencer cut you off, lifting a hand to run his thumb down your chin. “You’re so beautiful. And you’re so kind, and smart, and funny. And I’d really like to show you how much I care about you,” he looked into your eyes as a sort of request. 

“I’m not on birth control,” You breathed out in response, feeling your cheeks redden for even bringing it up. Way to damper the mood. Still, you wanted to be responsible. “Do you have a c-”

Spencer’s soft smile turned into a wicked grin and he shook his head. “We’re not going to need one,” he promised, and after looking into his eyes for a moment, you understood. 

________________________________________

Spencer had thoroughly worshiped you, until you quaked and cried out with absolutely no thought to how thin his apartment walls might be. Usually, you didn’t allow yourself to be the center of attention for too long, but Spencer had insisted, and, well, you couldn’t very well deny him what he wanted, right? 

Covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your hair matted to the back of your neck, Spencer finally lay down beside you. Your breathing was just starting to come back to you as you turned on your side to face him. Spencer’s body mirrored yours, the tips of his fingers - those fingers - trailing up the side of your arm. “That was…” his voice was soft, gravelly, and he looked at you like you had anything to do with it. It was literally all him. “Incredible.” 

“Yeah,” you managed to breathe out, unable to really focus on anything besides the curve of Spencer’s lips, the way the apples of his cheeks appeared when he smiled like this. Spencer kissed your lips, unlike any way he had before. All the other kisses tonight had been hungry and excited, exploratory and new. This one was lazy and slow and you let his tongue dance across yours, and when he finally pulled away, your nose scrunched up in delight. 

Your eyes traveled from his lips, down his neck, his collarbone, then back up, taking him in. The glow of his skin, the tired yet exhilarated look in his eyes. So different now than at the beginning of the night, when he’d looked at you with that slightly annoyed expression as you had tried to set him up with other women. You recalled how he had gone off to that group of three women right before you’d abandoned the bar, how he had struck out on purpose just to satiate your nagging. “What’d you say to those women tonight?” You asked him curiously, furrowing your brows at him. 

Spencer, in turn, arched his brows at you. “Why?” 

“Because I’m curious,” you said as his fingers continued to trail, feather-light, up and down your arm. You traced your thumb along his jawline, stopping at his chin. “You were obviously blowing it on purpose.” 

Spencer rolled his eyes. “I actually do have some game, despite what Morgan might say,” he said, his tone defensive. 

You snickered. “Sure you do, Spence. Took you, what, eight months, to get me in your bed?” 

Spencer shot a playful glare at you and pinched the skin on your arm. You squeaked in response and he just laughed. “I just asked them how they were doing tonight,” he said finally, and you knew just from the look on his face that he was lying. 

“You did not,” you pushed back. “Come on, Reid, spill it.” 

“Ok, fine,” Spencer heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes, sitting up in the bed, his back against the headboard. You sat up, too, looking at him with concern. Why was he so embarrassed? “I told them… Jesus.” Spencer rubbed the space between his brows with his thumb and his forefinger. “I told them I was here with a coworker that I had a massive crush on, and that you were trying to set me up with someone else,” he began. 

You started to smile. 

Spencer continued. “I told them that I had absolutely no interest in going home with anyone tonight, and that I had been purposefully striking out all night long because I couldn’t stand the thought of even trying to look at someone the way I look at you.” 

Your smile grew and you moved to sit on your knees, inching closer to Spencer and throwing one leg over him, effectively straddling him against the mattress. “So I asked them,” Spencer continued, his lips turning slowly from an exasperated frown to a small smile. “I asked them if they could just look at me like I had said something stupid, and then I would leave them alone.” 

“Did they say anything to that?” You asked as Spencer’s hands found your hips, contouring to match the curves into the small of your back. 

Spencer’s voice got slightly lower, more serious, when he said, “The girl in the middle did. She said ‘that girl definitely has feelings for you, too’. And then they did what I asked, and I walked back over to you.” 

“She did not say that,” you rolled your eyes, just as Spencer kissed your lips. 

“I have an eidetic memory, Y/N,” he reminded you in a low whisper, as his lips lingered against yours. “Would I lie to you about that?” 

[katerinaaqu]

Hi! Love your takes and all! What do you think of people talking about Penelope being all buff and strong physically as she was "Spartan?" or that she find Odysseus more attractive with blood plaster on his body as she is "Spartan" or such?. Is it true in the Epics? I read something about a Lykurgus or something..I just want to have a nuanced answer to that, also sorry for the silly question.

You are very kind Anon and I am glad you find them useful

Okay for starters I think this whole thing is a massive stereotype in regards to Sparta that "they are all sexually aroused by blood and violence". I mean yes Sparta as we know had an extreme military outline but it is not like they all just killed around to have fun like a twisted version of Asterix village or something. They valued war and the strength in war of course and they took pride to their warfare and all but yeah I think the whole thing of "oh gosh! Blood! Foreplay for Spartans" is just a joke that goes too far sometimes (although we DO have some exaggerated sources about the Spartans but, surprise surprise, they come from their main rival, Athens so yeah one needs to consider that too. So yeah although the Spartans were strictly military I do not think it is actually realistic to say that they all went like:

lol XD

Two this "Sparta" that they mostly mention is at least 100 years if not more away than the "Sparta" mentioned in the epic cycle. You see the Epic Cycle might have been synthesized at the 8th century BC but the events taking place in it, reflect on the Bronze Age or the Mycenean kingdoms which existed before. These "Spartans" everyone speaks about is usually referring to the Doriean Spartans. The Dorieans were a Greek set of tribes with their own dialect that came down from the north at the year around 1100 BC, around 100 years after the estimated date of the events of the Trojan war and they got to remain to the areas such as Macedonia or Lacedaimona aka Sparta thus we have Macedonians and Spartans speak Doric Greek dialect while Atheneans speak Attic Greek dialect and the Asia Minor greek cities speak Ionian etc Either way as I said the events of the Trojan war happened around 100 years before this Doric Tribe descend much less till the strictly military spartan system to be fully crystallized. So we need to think of that. And even then it is not like the Spartan women were some sort of body-builders who didn't have any sort of binary roles to their society or being active warriors in armies etc (don't mistake them for Amazons guys! Hahahaha!). They did actively excersize more than most Greek cities at that time and they did take part in athletic events more than let's say Athens (Athenean women by n large seemed to participate in sports such as running and those were exclusively for Hera's celebrations) so we can imagine they would be more athletic than the average Greek lady but that doesn't mean they were soldier-trained or anything. The military training was for boys at the city of Sparta. And women still had their own binary roles in their respected society, they just had some more freedom as compared to their Athenean counterparts.

So even if Myceneans DID have a more military form of society or at least based on the findings they did focus on warfare to their art and such and the building of their walls and all they still wouldn't be the same as the doric Sparta that were exclusively military. Could perhaps mycenean Sparta have the basis for the future doric Sparta? Perhaps but I doubt we have sufficient evidence to say they are identical.

Three. I believe that people who wanna desperately depict Penelope as some buff lady, misses the concept of Penelope's strength in the Odyssey. Penelope was not strong because she could fight with the sword. She was strong because she was mentally steadfast, clever and resourceful and enduring and she managed to hold the kingdom of Ithaca steadfast by herself for 20 years. It wasn't about her being buff lady. Homer does seem to imply she was tall and stoutly buillt; see my other post where I mention her physical description in Homer:

but not buff as "I'm gonna kick your ass" buff and all. Homer doesn't mention that any of the Spartan princesses have some specific training (Helen Clytemnestra or Penelope) but later literature implies that they have basic knowledge on weaponry (for example in later 5th century dramas and above Clytemnestra not only is seen wielding a weapon but knowing some basics as to how it was made) but it needs to be said that the posthomeric sources were also influenced by their contemporary Sparta aka the doric military Sparta. Homer doesn't imply that this strict military doric way of life was part of his lore but he does imply that Sparta relies more to its military (as compared to Ithaca or Pylos for example) so maybe he attempts to create the illusion of historical continuation but either way no this whole "300s-like" Sparta was not crystalized yet to the times that Homer synthesized his poems much less to the time of Bronze Age.

And there is no hint that Penelope goes "WOW BLOOD!" that seems to me one of the overused jokes on the internet, again emanating by the whole series of Sparta stereotypes used for comedy. It was in fact Euryclea the one to almost welp in happiness seeing Odysseus covered in blood and that was because Odysseus had killed the men she hated. Penelope doesn't show such a thing. Odysseus also washes himself up to be presentable to her. And even in posthomeric sources Penelope was not linked to physical strength but rather with the strength of her mind and the purity of her intentions (well...except maybe from Parthenius narrative if I recall correctly. There Penelope is pictured as scheming in jealousy against one of the sons Odysseus ellegedly produced and manipulated her husband to kill his illegitimate son)

As for the last part I am not sure what you are referring to? Are you referring to Lycurgus that is mentioned in some later sources as king? I did find for example the reference of Plutarch (who lives much much later) that he implies that Lycurgus lives at the same time as Homer or possibly had met him personally but is that what you are referring to? Either way I assume you refer to the historical person rather than some mythical figure because in homeric realm we do have rulers such as Tyndareus (the king of Sparta father to Helen and Clytemnestra) and Icarius (father to Penelope). It seems that Homer with the mention of the two rulers, even if not directly mentioning it, seems to be winking at the later but still ancient custom of doric Sparta to have two kings but I am not sure if that truly was his objective (and therefore creating an anachronism most likely)

I hope that answers your questions a bit

[wukyma]

yeeop hi, it’s me, the loser who’s writing fanfic for your ghost antinous au! i’ve got some vague and ideas and a decent amount of words done but i saw one of your posts saying you’re writing a document for the au?

i’m thinking i’ll be waiting for that before i make any other big writing decisions, i’m very excited for it :D

Ahhh sorry for the confusion, that was for another thing :'D

Regardless, I do have some ideas for ghost Antinous if you're interested!

(sorry for mentioning but u said u were interested too so @bb-bugspot)

Yappery under the cut 👇

You know that Hermes was also a guide for the dead? One of his "jobs" was bringing souls of mortals to the underworld – the 108 suitors as well, apparently, and whether they were buried appropriately or not doesn't really matter here

What happens? A certain ghosty someone (Antinous) spends the whole day trying to strangle both Odysseus and Telemachus (spoiler: he can't), missing Hermes' arrival to Ithaca like a loser ☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

Hermes bringing a hoard of souls to the underworld: let's see... One, two, three, four... ten......... nah I'm too lazy to do that, bye idiots *flies away*

Now we have Antinous, stuck in the mortal plane where no one can see him, having to watch the happy and thriving family, annoyed, jealous, and alone. Like he deserves tbh

And since I was leaning into comedy in the beginning, Telemachus starting to hear (and later even see; idk maybe Hermes' heritage activated or smth) him is a source of all kinds of moments where he has to act like ✨ everything is fine ✨ while there's an angry dude screaming in his ear "PAY ATTENTION TO ME"

If we sprinkle it with sad vibes then Antinous is pestering Telemachus for two reasons:

he hates him and has nothing better to do anyway

it's the closest thing to human interaction he has now lol

Basically talking to (read: pissing off) Telemachus is the only entertainment, and as time passes he just becomes something of a voice of conscience but diametrically opposed, and by that I mean:

"Who does this prick think he is?! Kick his ass Tele KICK HIS ASS"

"Wow, loser (Peisistratus probably idk) actually likes you, what a moron. You too btw"

Probably the first thing Telemachus sees in the morning too,, poor boy; maybe Antinous even tries to trip him up from time to time (they can't touch each other but small things like these work), invades his personal space, swipes off random objects from their designated surfaces, talks shit during family dinners (Telemachus actually thinks some of it is funny but he won't say that out loud, nuh uh) Penelope and Odysseus are a bit concerned about the strange expressions he makes XD

That dynamic goes on until the moment Antinous says a particularly foul joke and Telemachus slaps him (not really hoping for anything since every time he tried his hand just went through); the hit lands, both are like wtf just happened??? That puts an end to random chaos because (1) Telemachus is older now and will/can beat the shit out of him (2) Antinous just doesn't find the same satisfaction in annoying the prince like before, for some reason

So they just....... come to accept the situation and stick together like the weirdest pair of mismatched socks. END

(one more crumb of comedy material: Antinous now drops random objects on people's heads when they disrespect Telemachus or some similar thing)

That's it! There's one important thing I wanna say tho,, what I wrote is just my vision, if you had something else in mind and it doesn't align with this don't worry too much!! I want to know your ideas as well, and honestly, there wasn't a lot of thought put in cooking up an actual plot on my side; write whatever you feel like writing, I'm already happy those sketches inspired somebody X)

(And! Guys!! A bit of disclaimer: it's not like I'm sticking fingers in ears and going lalalalalala when it comes to Antinous' canon jerk behavior, or justify him – this whole au retains ✨funsies rights✨, don't take it too seriously please)

[ipseitydelrey]

Could I request headcanons of Elle Greenaway and Jennifer Jareau with a fem!reader who insists they’re not drunk (when they most definitely are) XD

sounds like a funny idea, ofc you can request this !!

“i’m not drunk!” ☆ elle greenaway & jennifer jareau

ship elle greenaway x jennifer jareau x drunk!fem!reader

warnings reader is hammered lol, alcohol (ofc)

a/n took a while, so sorry about that! this is also my first polyamorous post so i’m excited about that :D

★ you’re probably at a bar with the team, celebrating a case that went by easily.

★ yeah everybody’s drinking (minus spencer and his arnold palmer), but you are HAMMERED.

★ stumbling around, slurring your speech, giggling and flushed type of drunk.

★ as such, you have to be supervised. downside is that you are probably the single worst person to look after while drunk because you are incredibly good at getting other people drunk too.

★ so penelope was originally slated to supervise you, but ten minutes after she joined you, you and her were drunkenly giggling about nothing at all.

★ the rest of the team that are present are also quick inebriated, but elle and jj didn’t drink that much tonight. so now they’re stuck with you.

★ they take the initiative and decide to take the team to their respective homes. after dropping everyone off at their houses, the only person left was you.

★ elle holds you upright the most as her and jj carry you to your front door. while elle has her arm around your waist and you arm around the back of her neck, jj fishes into your pockets for your keys. it’s definitely worrying that you don’t really react.

★ they practically drag you inside and then drag you some more to your bedroom after jj closes the door and takes off your shoes.

★ they plop you down onto your bed as you groan drunkenly. jj goes to get an aspirin and some water for when you go to sleep and wake up with a wicked hangover.

★ elle, on the other hand, tries to make sure you’re comfortable by only taking off your pants and situating you under the covers.

★ after she pulls the blanket up about halfway over you, you reach out and pull her into the bed with you, immediately wrapping your arms around her as if she were a stuffed animal.

★ jj returns with the pill and glass in hand to see you sloppily kissing elle on the cheek as she pulls away from you. jj chuckles, setting the items in her hands down onto the bedside table as elle tries to get you to calm down and sleep.

★ once you appear to be close to clocking out for the night, elle gets up from the bed but you whine in response, beckoning both of the women to join you.

★ elle sighs, but jj seems completely fine with it. they both do end up climbing under the covers next to you, holding you until you fall asleep.

★ of course, they end up staying. your bed is just so warm and they want to make sure you get your rest and you take your aspirin when you awake next.

★ luckily you have a day off, so next morning, when you wake up with a throbbing headache and the worst hangover, you find the two women still asleep on either side of you.

★ you do notice the water and aspirin on the table, but that can wait (even if your headache is telling you no).

[kindred-spirit-93]

penelope (or how the odyssey was really written)

the title do be giving ao3 lol. wasnt at all what i was expecting! had me cackling in places & clutching my pearls in others XD

being only 23 songs its pretty quick paced and gives you mere glimpses into penelopes perspective more than anything, but all in all very groovy and enjoyable (thoughts below and ofc spoilers lol)

love the prologue! stronk start :]

prayed very hard this wasnt going to take the direction i thought it was and it didnt thank god.

BARBERSHOP QUARTET SUITORS SENT MEEEEEE

its so funny omg, same vibes as the tavern folk from rapunzel :D

gagged a little tho theyre very delulu, almost as bad as paris lol

shes gonna be miiiiiiiiiiiiiine

the note pen hits at: not this hero that i dont know made me *ascend* (theres a point or two btw where it gets a little suggestive)

WHO TF IS DAPHNE

me @ antinuous: sang it girlfriend!!!!!! giggling so hard wtf

simba walked so antinuos could run fr, when im king is a bop lol

NOT THE ANTICLEA JUMPSCARE :')))))

telemachus being eager to smash the skulls of the suitors fearing the sight of blood above all is so funny to me. poor tele XD

it took me 8 songs to realise that this was a somewhat modern setting lol, selfie with the oracle of delphi caught me so off guard

THE ODY AND TELE BONDING WE ALL DESERVED!!!!

hilarious actually really enjoyed their dynamic (we need a plan)

ody had it coming to him. get his ass penelope

a cappella suitors have my heart lol

NOT THE BEE GEES REFERENCE AHAHAH

greek tragedy joke was a little on the nose lol

i love love love the idea that penelope just swam off (naiad muffin hell yeah) and ody swam after her, which if u take into consideration the trauma of 10 years at sea its a pretty significant gesture i think

LAST NOTE IS MAJESTIC AAAAAAAA

--

idk its a very interesting twist on the narration and in all fairness far too short to really flesh anyone out, but for a penelope centric musical i was expecting something something a little more?

went to look the musical up and read a little more about it and found this gem. forget everything i said this renaissance painting suffices:

THE EMO, THE GIRLYPOP, ANTICLEA JUMPSCARE II. ITS PERFECT

--

oh and also tiresias ate and left no crumbs lmao, all i could think of was a cover is not the book- esque performance so i had to draw it lol (sorry its awful)

its the letter from hell song, at 03:20 . do yall see the vision?

bonus emo tiresias, hes supposed to be wearing pomegrante themed accessories idk how obvious that is lol. eh enjoy :D

[dootznbootz]

I'm not very fond of Epic AUs where Odysseus adopts Astyanax.

It's fine for a one-off joke or comic and ofc this is just my opinion but... if Astyanax lives (like in Racine's play), he should always stay with Andromache. His actual mother, yk. Not with one of the men who sacked Troy. Zeus' prophecy is bound to happen and Odysseus knew keeping the infant around was a bad idea.

If Astyanax dies, I want to see him in Elysium with his father, finally in a peaceful place and having all of eternity to catch up. Then Andromache joins them (sending her to Asphodel would be too cruel) and they finally reunite.

Would anyone picture Neoptolemus adopting Astyanax ? The son of Achilles, who dragged Hector's body in a chariot. No ? So Achilles' associate doing the same would be weird.

And Odysseus ? I want him CRAVING for a son, waiting for so long until he can express his paternal affection (and always cursing Palamedes even after his revenge 😂).

Him meeting Telemachus all grown up should be his first real shot at fatherhood. It'd be underwhelming if he already had a little boy with him. If Telemachus has a little brother, Penelope should be the mother. Or they adopt another baby together afterwards. No Astyanax and ESPECIALLY NO TELEGONUS !

So yeah, imo Astyanax and Odysseus don't belong with each other. Any thought ?

Headsup: This is just an opinion. My opinion does not matter. If you like this AU, PLEASE don't let that stop you from creating! Just because it's not for me, doesn't mean it's not for you or for someone else :D

I absolutely agree and you absolutely put into words WHY.

There's the term "woobifying" and in some cases...I think that's what people just often do with Epic/The Odyssey. (especially from Epic) I'm saying as someone who is a very soft and fluffy person. I love soft and sweet fics and ideas. I love stuff that makes me smile. But I almost feel as though with certain soft things, you're taking away what makes characters who they are. which DOESN'T make me smile lol

like I think there's more fun in simply a "no-war AU" than the "Astyanax lives AU" xD like, that way, Odysseus is with his family, gets to be a dad, Astyanax gets to live (let's not think too hard about how "no war may have meant no Astayanax")

As that way, they still get to be in character as well.

Penelope and Odysseus for example, are scallywags lol. They scheme and swindle. They giggle and kick their feet when they get extra cattle. They hold grudges. They can be snooty and prideful. They're as full of love as they are full of hate. Odysseus, during the Sack of Troy, in both the Odyssey AND Epic, will do whatever it takes to get home. Like yes, in Epic, Jay has it where Odysseus has to "become ruthless" but I can understand what he's doing with the narrative. Odyssey Odysseus? Um...Iphigenia is proof that Odysseus is already ruthless.

Btw, why is Astyanax the only one Odysseus would want to save with these AUs? What about Iphigenia? Is it because of Epic?

Yes, I DO think Odysseus (and Penelope for that matter) have a lot of parental instinct. I plan to write Odysseus carving lil wooden toys for random kids just as something to do. He does tricks. (ngl, while it seems they weren't around in the Mycenaean era, Yo-yos were a thing in ancient Greece. I just KNOW Odysseus would be the type to do so many tricks. (also string and wood🥹)) He has a soft spot for Greater Ajax's boy. My goober was friends with Menelaus and Agamemnon even before he met Penelope (he saw two exiled guys take back their kingdom and thought "hm??? vulnerable state??? They're very rich?? hehe >:3" but then became fond of them. The reason why he went to Sparta was to help Menelaus with Helen but fell in love himself.) and he's carved lil toys for Agamemnon's kids

He's carved lil Iphigenia toys. She likes Dolphins. He still helps sabotage the letter in some myths and even hypes up the crowd.

Even if it IS just based on Epic, "The Horse and The Infant" and "Just a Man" are HUGE turning points for Odysseus. Or even just a show of character. Like yes, "Odysseus is learning ruthlessness" but he already is ruthless. He literally says "I would trade the world to see my son and wife". AND HE STILL DOES THE DEED! HE WAS RUTHLESS SINCE THE BEGINNING! The Second song in the Musical and it already tells you about Odysseus and what he is willing to do. Is he sad and haunted? Yeah. Still did it.

And I really love that as that's Odyssey Odysseus as well! Odysseus isn't an unfeeling violent villain. He's just a man.

Also...What happens in the Odyssey is no fucking place for a child. ;~; The cyclops, the Goddesses, the monsters? Why should a lil boy be anywhere near that? How did he survive while drifting to Ogygia? Does Poseidon try to keep them together? As no one would be in the state to take care of each other together for that many days.

And in general, in the Odyssey, to me, it's such a huge thing that he literally lost EVERYONE. THAT HE IS ALL ALONE. All of the people who were with him are now dead, and there was nothing he could do. It was already fated.

It's horrible but there's something so poetic in him being the "Sole Survivor", especially after all the hell he went through.

Also yeah, I DO really hate the thought of Telemachus knowing "You took care of this baby when I needed you?". Like my OdyPen have a daughter after he returns as the whole "only one son" and that's already really hard for Telemachus to watch Odysseus be a father for her, regardless of how often and how adamantly Odysseus reassures him that Odysseus desperately wished to do the same with him.

[harper-fanfictions]

Telemachus x Reader (M4A)

Meeting

Part 1/4

Characters: Penelope

Warings: none?

note: reader is homeless but of course that'll change xD also nomisma is money in Greek that is what I looked up so

---------------------------------------------------

You lived in Ithaca but didn't really have a home you would just walk around but it kept raining for days and you were in the rain you did get sick but you couldn't do anything you brought a drink with some nomisma you had but bumped into a boy and your drink spilt all over the place on the boy as you fell on the floor "ow-" you mumbled rubbing your tailbone "are you okay?" The boy asked holding his hand out for you as you took his hand and saw it was the prince of Ithaca and you panicked he pulled you up "oh my- i am so so sorry i-i'll pay to wash your clothes i am really sorry" I di-" you were cut off by you sneezing and coughing "oh no need to apologize" he felt your forehead "oh geez- have you been out in the rain?" He asked as you shook your head yes "do you have a home?" He asked as you looked at him "no- I don't but I'm fine" you said as he then just grabbed your hand and took you somewhere he was taking you to his home "oh no no I'm fine" you said trying to stop him but the boy didn't listen when he got to his palace he went to someone who was the Queen of Ithaca you quickly bowed to her "ah no no sweetheart don't do that" Penelope said "what's wrong Telemachus?" She asked the boy "they are sick and doesn't have a home i was wondering if they could possibly stay here?" Telemachus said "oh no no I'm fine really" you said "of course they can stay" Penelope said "great thanks mom" Telemachus said as he then dragged you somewhere else "your highness- I'm fine" you said "just call me Telemachus" Telemachus said as he brought you to the bathroom and got the bath ready "okay so I'll look away and i can wash your clothes while you take a bath" Telemachus said you looked at him and sighed as he looked away you got undressed then tapped his shoulder as he just held his hand out and you gave him your dirty clothes with him still looking away then he walked out closing the door you got in the bath and kinda fell asleep but woke up to knocking on the door as Telemachus said "your clothes are done" you got up and got out of the bath drained the bathtub and wrapped your body with a towel as you then went over and opened the door and he handed you the clothes "thank you" you said as he nodded and smiled then waited as you got dressed and walked out of the bathroom and Telemachus took your hand then brought you to a room "here your own room it's next to mine so you can just knock on my bedroom door if you need anything" Telemachus said and went in now your room with you and you saw food on the bed "food and a drink for you and when your done you can just set it down next to the bed" you looked at him and smiled "thank you very much" you said Telemachus smiled and nodded "oh right here" he handed you some medicine then patted your head "enjoy" he said as he waved bye and walked out you couldn't believe he prince of Ithaca did this you went to the bed and sat down took the medicine and ate after you were done you set the empty plate down by the bed then laid down and immediately fell asleep you kinda woke up to Telemachus coming in your room but it was only for a minute as he then left and you fell back asleep

---------------------------------------------------

I know it isn't much but I have been redoing this fanfiction for 3 days straight and I am kinda getting annoyed because of the errors

[not-someone-who-matters]

HEARD THE WISDOM SAGA SPOILERS FOR THAT GONNA SYA EVERYTHING I NOTICED XCUSE THE TYPOS ITS 11 AM ILL EDIT TMOORROW

1, light used as a motif for kindness, warmth, mercy... "So I could bring the world some light" "his light went dark" etc etc

2 "where is he? Where is the man who'll have you to wife? Where is he? Where is the man with whom you'll spend you life cuz in my darkest days Penelope's my drive"

Vs

"where is he? Where is the man who'll have you to wife? Where is he? Where is the man with whom you'll spend you life cuz it's been twenty years, and we still have no king."

Both wanting Penelope as a wife but one sees her as something wonderful to think of as motivation and the other sees her as an object and a prize!!!!

3. "When you (....) of a mother gonna choose a new husband" has a similar melody to "keep your head low he's aiming for the torches"

4. Also that OOH! After antinous speaks sounds exactly like my classmates when they start picking on my friends like XD these suitors are so inmature!

5. Wow antinous does not play around. The SA themes already started.

6. "If I fight this monster... Is it you I'll find?" LIKE IF HE FIGHTS ANTINOUS IS HE SOMEHOW GONNA GET CLOSER TO ODYSSEUS?? also fight those monsters, and Odysseus who is a monster- but a different kind of monster, who protects his own.... You can't choose whether or not you are a monster but you can choose the kind of monster you are...

7. Athena comparing the suitors to dogs and Telemachus to a wolf!!! One more noble and dignified than the others!!!

Also Athena. Don't insult Argos by comparing him with the suitors :(

8. "If she doesnt choose a man to adorn her we:lol being blood and tears..."

Odysseus... Hurry

9. Those who remember your light may notice that the "what keeps you up so late at night my friend" sounds similar to "tell me Athena why you came to my aid."

10. HIS LIGHT WENT DARK AS IN. HE TURNED FEOM THE BRIGHT AND HOPEFUL KID HE WA STO SOMEONE A LOT DARKER AND HOPELESS. AAAAAAA

11. "I could sleep at night" vs "what's a title that a goddess could lend if I'll never sleep at night" AAAAAAAAA

12. WHEN HE TRIES TO LEAN HIS HEAD ON HER SHOULDER AND FALLS.... AAAAAAAAAA

13. "Odysseus where did you go" where did his happiness and joy go.... AAAAAAA I'm crying now.

14. Calypsos .O. face!!! Calypso they could never make me hate u.

15. THE WAY CALYPSO MOVES SO MUCHA ND IDK SOMETHING ABOUT HER IS SO CHILDISH which makes sense bc how many years alone.... But she's so movey!! They could never make me hate Calypso fite me. The moment this animatic is out I'm !!! She acts innocent (but isn't) and reminds me a lot of Rapunzel in the movie when she just got out of her tower.

16. "I'll stay inside your heart" "I'll always love you, I'll stay in your heart" AAAAAAAA

17. Stay in my open arms. :). I am. so Normal.

18. ATHENAAAAA

[junglejam]

Just some thoughts while working on 'the space between all things'.

I went into the (vague) planning phase of the fic deciding that I wanted to make Lizzie a central part of the story, as she is an integral part of Josie's life (both in this fic but also, as we all know, in canon) and because I think the twins' individual and combined dynamic with Hope is so interesting. Mostly I wanted to explore a version of the twins dynamic that is strained in a way only family is, where you can have such an unconditional love yet live heartbreaking worlds apart form each other.

Anyways, I went into the fic with that kind of mindset, but I didn't realize how much Lizzie would actually appear and also how much I would like writing about her in particular. I mean I already adored Lizzie before and she's one of my favourite characters in Legacies (and tbh tvdu in general), so it isn't difficult to like writing about her in that sense. She's actually the funniest character in my fic I think, other than Penelope maybe (Or at least I'm trying to make her witty and funny, though I'm not irl, so don't know if it's working lol).

But I'm actually struggling not to let her bleed too much into every page in both Josie's POV and Hope's POV (yes I'm writing a few POV chapters for Hope<3) since it is a hosie story before all. But while writing it I realized that Hope and Josie wouldn't even be in this predicament they're in, if not for Lizzie being in their lives and it just would not make sense at all and then this story would not be happening in the first case. This shows in my writing too since I include Lizzie in all of Josie and Hope's POVs, whether in passing or that she's physically in the scene, but if I erased those scenes - even the ones where Lizzie is just being Lizzie adding to the fun of the story more than the plot - it would feel empty somehow? Like Lizzie is just such a central part of their lives and erasing those scenes of her would be wrong? (heavy deja vu from everyone forgetting Hope in season 2)

And this just made me realize that I actually need to make Lizzie play an even more central role than I anticipated in this specific fic, and actually add instead of erase scenes. Josie wouldn't be Josie without Lizzie and Lizzie wouldn't be Lizzie without Josie and that is the cause of both love and pain in their relationship and that is beautiful.

And I say that it is I that need to make Lizzie play a bigger role, but in my mind it's Lizzie demanding to be the main character herself, and that makes me love writing as cliche as it sounds XD Because these characters seriously feel so alive to me and I love them so much.

Not sure what my point was, but to end this: I just think it's really wonderful how writing and reading fanfiction gives one a whole new appreciation of characters, one that probably couldn't be achieved just from canon. So I'm just so happy that authors share their stories with strangers on the internet, because it makes fandom better and readers like myself will always appreciate it and on that note we should all remember to let the authors out there know that<3

[mer-acle]

Alright, since I'm super active on AO3 again recently I thought I might as well do a breakdown of my work :)

My current fandoms are Marvel (MCU) and EPIC the Musical

The characters you are almost certain to meet are Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow), Clint Barton (Hawkeye) and Athena (Goddess of Wisdom)

Okay let's have a breakdown (epic people you'll have to scroll)

The Spy and the Assassin

This is a series about the backstory of Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton, starting from childhood and catching up directly to Iron Man 2.

This is the most "inspired by visual media" of my works. Parts of it is written in Script form and the chapters are meant to be 25 minute episodes of a TV show that would run for three seasons.

It's MCU phase one compliant and takes some inspiration from the Avengers Assemble TV show canon (mainly for Clint's backstory)

Good for: People who like Phase 1 best, and who wished for a more comprehensive Black Widow origin (this is 500k words type comprehensive)

Coming back for you

What about another Black Widow origin, but Phase 2 compliant this time?

When writing The Spy and the Assassin, I did my best to adhere to the superhero genre, so you could feasibly believe this was a true prequel

For this one, I took more liberties, and focused more on hurt/comfort.

Laura and Cooper are in this, and so is a Budapest scene bc how couldn't I?

Again, technically Phase 2 compliant if you tweak the timeline just a little, but still no Black Widow (2021) to be found.

Good for: People who enjoy hurt and comfort with a focus on recovery and healing. People who like Laura Barton XD

One I will break, the others I will tear apart

Technically a sequel to The Spy and the Assassin, but stands on its own.

In about 2014, Steve, Tony, Clint and Natasha are kidnapped and imprisoned by a smug and sadistic asshole named Victor.

His plan: Torture one of them, watch the others break apart from guilt and anguish. And he chooses the one who has already endured more pain than anyone ever should to be his sacrificial lamb.

This is unapologetic Nat Whump. Like, there is intense physical and psychological torture in this. Nobody except Victor is having a good time.

(This is my favorite fic I've ever written)

Good for: People who like their whump and like it brutal. People who agree with me that Nat is the best avenger

The time they broke me

A retelling from Natasha to the team of what happened in The Spy and the Assassin. That's it. People enjoyed it for some reason lol.

Good for: People who want a Natasha backstory but want to know how the Avengers would react.

The Avengers Scenes

A series of deleted/extended scenes for the MCU. (Yes Natasha is in all of them)

------------------------------

Okay Epic friends, now for you

All of my epic fanfic is gathered in the Warriors of the Mind series, but I'll introduce you to the episodes.

In general, I know what you are like, those of you who liked the Wisdom saga will probably read anything with Athena in it atm

The Reunion Trilogy

(Work 1-3)

After the Events of God Games, Athena's first meetings with Odysseus, Telemachus and Penelope respectively.

Light h/c and lots of cute moments

Hermes presents: God Games

(Work 4)

Hermes explains our favorite wet man Odysseus what went down during God Games, things are appropriately chaotic.

Later, Athena receives a prayer

You can go home now

(Work 5)

Athena goes to free Odysseus instead of Hermes. H/C ensues cos guess what she's injured actually

Has two separate endings, one with Hermes and one with Apollo.

The one who makes her kingdom fall

(Work 6)

What happened on Olympus after God Games. How did the players treat their injured sister afterward.

Apollo, who always wanted a relationship with her

Hephaestus, who has known her the longest

Aphrodite, who has seen a different side to her

Ares, who deep down knows he never hated her

And Hera, who starts to believe she's done wrong by her

And all concludes with a crazy divine council meeting.

Goddess and Man

(Work 7)

A reflection by Athena on the times Odysseus called her "Thea"... And how she starts to think he didn't mean "goddess", but something more endearing.

Athena deals with feels. In the end she gets to confront them in person.

Ichor is not meant to fall like rain

(Work 8)

Athena meets her father for the first time after God Games. It's... Complicated.

Note: Winged Athena

Still watching over you

(Work 9)

A thunderstorm hits Ithaca. Both Athena and Odysseus may have some PTSD about that type of thing.

Also honorable mention of the absolute legend that is Eurycleia.

Fighting to be loved

(Work 10, in progress)

Athena is pretty badly hurt. The royal family of Ithaca tries their best to help her.

(FW this is whumpy as all hell)

A warrior's refusal

(Work 11)

Odysseus has decided not to go to war. Now he just has to tell Athena...

[mrmustachious]

Header image and questions from @ficwip! You can find the list of questions here <3

How many fics have you worked on since January?

157 total fics, including one shot collections posted into one ao3 work.

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

Writing 100 Drabbles! I've never attempted to write drabbles before, and this was a fun and interesting challenge.

What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

Definitely Thunderbirds as always.

How many fandoms did you write for this year?

2 (Thunderbirds and 9-1-1: Lone Star)

What ships captured your heart?

Pen&Ink was the one I wrote the most for, but I probably spent more time thinking about Tarlos.

What characters captured your heart?

Gordon Tracy (ofc <3) and Carlos Reyes.

Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

Nope

What fic meant the most to you to write?

there’s no one I can trust, I used to think there was

I put a lot of love and care into that fic. It's one of my favourites I've ever written. I loved every second I spent writing it and I'm still so proud of it.

What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

two hearts that beat in the rhythm of one

This fic is just a load of love and sweetness and it just made me so happy to write. I would love to write more for this universe.

What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

Whump 100

I was chipping away at this fic all year determined to finish it by the end of the year, so it was very satisfying to finish all 100 drabbles.

What fic was the most difficult to write?

aAsWlAeKeEp

This fic went through several rewrites until I got it to a place I wanted it to be. It was really difficult to try and portray what I was picturing in my head, but eventually I was happy with it and I love the finished product.

What fic was the easiest to write?

This is hard to pick just one, a lot of them were pretty easy actually, especially the shorter ones.

What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

Shortest are probably the drabbles I wrote at 100 words each, the longest is there’s no one I can trust, I used to think there was at 13k words.

What were your go-to writing songs?

Anything by Citizen Soldier. I listened to them a lot this year.

What was the hardest fic to title?

Some of my Whumptober fics were hard to title, hense why they're just named after the prompts XD

What's your favorite title of the year?

aAsWlAeKeEp

I have yet to see anyone comment on it though... XD

Share your favorite opening line

Penelope stood at the edge of the sea.

(AU (Elementals))

Share your favorite ending line

Hopefully, he wouldn’t dream this time.

(aAsWlAeKeEp)

Share your favorite piece of dialogue

“I think that you two have an unbreakable bond, but without realising it, you’ve been putting too much strain on it over the years. It’s not going to snap, it never will, but it will weaken. I think it already has.”

(there’s no one I can trust, I used to think there was)

Share your funniest line

It must have been a sight. Gordon and Virgil bleeding, John white as a sheet, Scott looking haggard and on the verge of tears, and Alan-

“Alan’s stuck in the tree,” was the first thing he said to her.

“Right,” she said, with a single nod.

(Babysitting)

What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

I didn't expect there’s no one I can trust, I used to think there was to get as dark as it did, but adding the darker themes of Gordon's past just added to the story and explained much better why he was the way he was and the way he acted.

What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

Mainly Google Docs and Fighter's Block.

If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Completing Whumptober for the 6th year.

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Start a new one XD

How did you recharge between fics?

Either watching a show, playing a game, or reading.

Did you create fanworks other than fic?

No

How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

Whumptober, 12 Days of Christmas, and 100 Drabble Collection: Whump Edition

If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

ME. jk, probably my fandom friends and readers <3

What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

Maybe some more winter themed fics. I have a few I have yet to post, but it would be nice to try and write more!

What would you like to write next year?

I want to reach my 200th ao3 work! I have a fic I have been working on for a little while now and I want to finally get on with writing it and finish it, and post it for number 200.

[iamamythologicalcreature]

Six Sentence Sunday (with a new look)

Hello all! Hey look at that, a new banner. Must mean a new project. XD (Don't worry, I'm not abandoning Baz and poor voiceless Simon, I'm just getting into CORB!)

Thank you @artsyunderstudy, @alleycat0306, @youarenevertooold, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @cutestkilla, @shrekgogurt, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, and @rimeswithpurple for the tags - I look forward to seeing what you're all up to!

This week's clip is context free, to keep the mystery alive for the @carryon-reverse-bang project I'm working on with a friend of mine. I'm really excited about it, though, and I will tell you that it skirts the line between full AU and canon divergence.

I've decided to flip things about this week, so since all of my snippets thus far have been angsty Baz POV, I'm offering up a little light Simon POV. Enjoy!

Near jump out of my skin when my mobile rings. It’s Penny. Hell’s bells, I was supposed to call her. “You didn’t call me,” she says as a greeting. “You were supposed to call me from the train station.” Crowley, she sounds like her mum. “I know, I’m sorry,” I say, mostly to get it out of the way. “But the train was late and there was this bloke in a three piece waiting to drive me.” “So you’re there? What’s it like?” (I signed an NDA before I came here, but she'll push it to the limit, which she knows way better than me, as she went over the contract before she let me so much as touch a pen.) (She’s studying to be a solicitor and wants to take on magickal law. That’s either brilliant or scary. Both, probably.) “It’s… um. Dark.”

(NDA's are for normals and people who don't have a Penelope in their back pocket.)

Tags and hello's below the cut!

Thank you for the tags over the past couple weeks @prettygoododds, @angelsfalling16, @fatalfangirl, @nightimedreamersworld, @ic3-que3n!

Tagging @erzbethluna, @ileadacharmedlife, @hushed-chorus, @aristocratic-otter, @whatevertheweather, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @thewholelemon, @katmiscellanious, @raenestee, @bubble-gumhead, @bookish-bogwitch, @anxious-m3ss, @palimpsessed, @alexalexinii, @facewithoutheart, @imagineacoolusername, @messofthejess and... okay, who's left? LOL If you want tags in the future, you can either tag me or drop me a line. (If you don't want tags, LMK too!)

[pencilofawesomeness]

Hi! Bookbinding anon again! Are these all the microchots that you've posted to tumblr? I want to include them as well and just wanted to make sure I have all the ones you've posted!! :)

Stay Warm

Book Nerds

Nakia

Penelope 

Donovan

A few times Acno was called a dad 

Insomnia buddies

Touch starved

Retirement

Coffee

The fish debate

+5

The only one I wasn't going to include was Wendy's Healer Training cause that was more of a textpost than a fic. And after I get the microshots in and do a bit more layout work the typeset for HTRYDS Volume I will be complete! It starts at ODAF and goes all the way up to Snowball Fight (and then Volume II is going to start at TET >:3)

I've been having so much fun with this!!

OMG you really have been going all out!!! asdklfsdlgj that's amazing (and super glad you've been having fun!)

And yes those are all the microshots so far! I was going to do the remaining two of the Bickslow's babies series sooner rather than later and then combine them because they accidentally became heavier in lore than intended but then evidently I went with the 'later' approach XD (which is fine because it's not super necessary lore until after Tenrou, but *would* help pre OS arc.... so I'll get on that soon XD)

[aho-dapa]

Tamlin x king of hybern

i dare you to make a ship fic out of this XD surprise me! Take me off guard! Make it sad, or toxic, or a surprise fluff! Go crazy!

Also I LOVE YOUR PFP, PENELOPE IS BEST GIRL!

#DeathIsTheOnlyEndingForAVillainess

TW: uh dark themes like corruption and what it takes to get there, vague dddne vibe

Okay okay so like any villain flavored ship, it can go three ways: horribly, tenderly, or both.

Horribly

Let's see, could go really dddne the way it could would Amarantha, mind break flavors, or even the slow corruption arc that's only painful (meaning Tamlin looses his sense of self completely)

Both

This is still a mind break corruption route, but if we used canon: since we never actually see the KoH until ACOMAF and he's described as someone plain in the books (please sjm I'm gonna start a petition to allow your villains to hot fr)

Let's have KoH infiltrate the Spring Court during ACOWAR as Just Some Guy who gradually gains the trust of the Spring Court and integrates himself pretty well in their daily life. Maybe he went there to see the situation and maybe even take down the Spring Court, but guess what? Hilariously, he doesn't even have to lift a finger. Feyre destroys it herself and not just the Spring Court, but also deals a devastating mental blow to Tamlin. This leaves him open to manipulation even especially if Lucien leaves with Feyre. Especially if he spirals into what we saw in ACOFAS where Rhys eluded to Tamlin not even protecting himself by keeping the manor unguarded.

Meaning that this gives the KoH plenty to time to literally be the sole person by Tamlin’s side especially if he can glamor himself or even has some new ability like the ability to possess people (which could explain his age and why he might be older than Beron).

Maybe it even goes so far that Tamlin begins to rely solely on the KoH and falls for him because he just wants to be cared for rn and no longer have to push himself to be someone he's not as the High Lord of Spring

Plot twist?? Maybe (in sjm's all fae but villains are carved by the Mother herself) the KoH was actually human and was the first to use the Cauldron to become fae and that's why he knew he could change Nesta and Elain. And that's why he just knows how to use it.

This would definitely add more layers of complication towards how Tam would eventually grow closer with him because I honestly think he could get to a point where he just wants to rest and be treated kindly so he could ignore what the KoH is doing in Prythian, but that he would have difficultly if he had to live with cruelty surrounding him (given that he's already moved to Hybern). So he would definitely hate it if the KoH didn't rule fairly or reinstated slavery.

Then again, KoH motives for this can be fleshed out into a manipulation tactic or wild, maybe the KoH still actually sees himself as human and is trying to destroy all the fae as like a weird moral excuse. Or it could be that the KoH had the Cauldron before this and actually had slaves as a cover where maybe all the slaves in Hybern are actually a super secret saiyan humans and are undercover to infiltrate courts and all lands because back during his time, humans couldn't move freely in the world without being a slave or subservient to the fae. But at that point, it's getting very conspiracy and ends up trying to excuse a lot for him so that Tamlin can actually have a relationship with him. Tbh, if the slavery thing isn't addressed, I could see Tamlin snapping out of it and in a very climatic battle where everyone thinks Tamlin's basically become the co-ruler of Hybern, he kills the KoH and just sobs over his body

Extra tragic if Tamlin doesn't feel like he can be forgiven and dies with the KoH

Tenderly

Okay so this would rework the KoH and give him an even more tragic backstory. Given that I already mentioned human KoH, what if it's actually where Amarantha and Clythia have been ruling Hybern for over a millenia. And using the KoH as a puppet king they crowned long ago after turning him fae in their Cauldron experiments. And then that neatly explains why Hybern killed all their human slaves before setting them free. They wouldn't want evidence of their world domination plan using human turned fae magically bound to them to get outside of Hybern.

The slave bargains they use on humans still goes over when they're Made fae, similar to how Feyre's bargain with Rhys is still intact after becoming fae. The only way to be free of the bargain is if the ones who made it die.

Of course, there's a limit to how many people they can control and they limit it to a very small group in Hybern.

That also means that they can put themselves in positions of power in their court without having the same risks as a ruler would. Like imagine the multiple assassination attempts and general inhumanization (hah) the KoH would have to go through for what seems like a literal eternity. And their the ones actually starting wars in Prythian and the reason why Hybern surrendered is because Clythia died and Amarantha is the younger sister and she definitely relied on her in their impossibly immortal lives (not before getting personal revenge on Jurian tho who definitely learns about the KoH)

Or Amarantha surrenders after Clythia's death because Jurian found out about the Cauldron and destroyed it into three pieces (like in canon but with it actually being broken not that it needs to stand on three legs) and the humans hid it from her

But Amarantha only discovers this after she kills Jurian and tries to bring Clythia back, effectively killing off the few people that know about the Cauldron

In this, Amarantha would be the main antagonist and she does eventually collect the othe pieces but conquers prythian and utm to find the last. She resurrects Clythia and Jurian (so that he can be tortured more) and they go back to their plan of world domination.

Maybe feylin happens or something else does but Tamlin does eventually takes sides with Hybern and becomes Amarantha's High Consort as the High Queen of Prythian while Clythia goes on to fulfill her childhood dreams of becoming Empress of the Continent.

(Also, kinda nice that the evil sisters always have each other's backs and will never betray each other and that's also what makes them a threat because no one can shake that foundation)

Eventually Jurian does tell Tamlin that the KoH is literally the oldest Cauldron Made Fae outside of Amarantha and Clythia. They scheme to set him free and they eventually kill Amarantha (with the help of literally everyone else).

But before that it plays out that Amarantha sends Tamlin back to Hybern after their wedding ceremony so that she doesn't have to worry about him (both for his life and so that he can't conspire against her) and so that she can secretly move the Cauldron back to Hybern where it's kept safe

But because Clythia and Amarantha are both not at Hybern, the KoH has a little room to act as he wishes. He acts on their orders and can never reveal his true personality but he does strangely enough do his best for Hybern and ruling its people because they've also been living under years and years of tyranny (through him). So when their not watching he can take steps to express some of his desires.

He married only once a long time ago to have a heir but Amarantha killed his child as punishment because he started doing little things that made the court question him. Basically the KoH has no hope for freedom and just lives like an actual puppet and has become somewhat desensitized to his surroundings.

But because Clythia died, Amarantha now is the only one who can actually control the KoH, so now the bargain that was placed on him forever ago is weakened. (Meaning Clythia needs to remake the bargain with the KoH to reinstate her control over him. But because neither Amarantha or Clythia have died of old age, they don't know that the bargain has weakened)

Cue the suspicions Tamlin begins to have about the KoH and Tamlin actually exploring Hybern and learning lore until he eventually finds the Cauldron slowly discovers the truth

He learns that Amarantha and Clythia are the oldest fae alive and can actually steal the powers of others but can only manage one at a time and they have to learn it again once they relinquish it. Amarantha used daemati abilities to literally take complete control over Prythian and even a young Rhys. That's also how she's able to completely control the KoH without anyone knowing because she can command him through her thoughts. She's fully had a leash on the KoH for so long that she feels okay with leaving him be because she can also harm his citizens (who he has somewhat grown attached too)

This would be a great way to actually flesh out Hybern and not have it just be a place of misery and oppression. Even Amarantha and Clythia know how to rule in ways that gives them power. Amarantha uses fear tactics but eventually plans on letting up when her rule stabilizes (even the Romans enjoyed brutality when it wasn't them actually experiencing it). Basically, the people are willing to suffer through a cruelty if they are content and will not endure someone incompetent with their needs. Meaning that the KoH's (forced) cruelty is not just because, it's about gaining and keeping power. Clythia had a great balance of this, while Amarantha prefers more violent tactics (which is also why she had all the slaves be killed instead of giving them up).

It's during this time that the KoH and the other puppet fae begin to hope for the first time for freedom, and the KoH eventually breaks a rule that set up by Clythia and Amarantha.

During this time, Tamlin and the KoH get close. Also, guilty pleasure, but they also have an affair because Tamlin is technically married to Amarantha but neither of them care about that (but they do have to hide it which is honestly the best part).

Eventually, Amarantha dies and Hybern stages a revolt as the KoH is no longer bond in a slave bargain.

Clythia is killed as well after more plot and the KoH eventually explains everything publicly utm. Amren can confirm he's a Made fae and he does eventually get redipped in the Cauldron to become human again. Maybe he stays immortal or maybe not.

Also maybe, to tie a little plot hole, they Made his appearance different as the original KoH (if he was an imposter instead of just a puppet king) and he changed back to what he originally looked like as a human once they both died??

Or it could even be that Hybern was originally a human kingdom before it was conquered by the Fae and the KoH was made a slave after Amarantha and Clythia conquered it with their father (?) the original KoH forever ago. And then that would add another layer that they basically deposed their dad.

This could tie into different endings where either the KoH abdicated and goes with Tam to the Spring Court, or they both fuck off and become wanderers, or the KoH stays the KoH (in a different body) and rules over Hybern peacefully (or enacts a council or does something else) and reclaims Hybern for humans (especially if we're going with the HC that the Treaty only works between Hybern and Prythian and the only current free lands for humans is below the Spring Court).

I'm personally biased to that the KoH was a human king who was conquered by the Fae and then Made Fae (which was forgotten to history) by Amarantha and Clythia after enslaving him into a bargain. That means that the KoH doesn't change his appearance and then reclaims Hybern for humans. And Tamlin rules with him while Lucien OR Feyre (or both who knows) can look after the Spring Court. Especially if it came down to the fact that the KoH can't leave his kingdom to anyone rn but Tamlin can.

It could also be a nice breather for Tamlin especially if he found the Spring Court to hold too many bitter memories for him and/or he doesn't feel like he could go back to the Spring Court as the same person he once was. Also Hybern could just feel more freeing to him personally because he's no longer has to play the part of High Lord with all the expectations of it. He doesn't have to contend with nobles about his status as a bastard that had been conceived on Calanmai outside of wedlock (which would actually make more sense than that all the nobles left because he was a warrior) and never feeling like he could mold himself into the fancy trappings of the spring court.

It would be interesting to have Tamlin see Spring as something eternally stagnant because the seasons don't change. Eternally beautiful and eternally brutal. The Spring Court could be filled to the brim with nobles and there fancy clothing and how Tam sees it all as a farce, as an excuse for cruelty (since i often base my Spring Court on France during the revolution). Maybe because he's spent centuries trying to change it but he never feels like he's making progress. Especially if the succession system is like canon. He couldn't refuse his title, and the nobles were stuck with him and he had to live in paranoia that someone would test the family magic he had to the Court itself and see if they could replace him. (They don't because of their potential fears).

I also like the idea of Tam being demi and genderfluid and just feeling stagnant like the Court itself with their expectations of him. And since I'm petty, I like to think evil Hybern is actually more nuanced and feels more free to Tam. He can remake himself there where no one is looking. He finally gets privacy to be himself. And that's what he found even while as Amarantha's High Consort.

Imagine he was given many of the expectations a woman would be given because his roles were switched with Amarantha. Even if she bears him children, he will be the one to raise them and with how he would have limited say on most things in her High Court.

I'm also a personal fan of soft Tam and just letting him become even softer. In this way, he likes helping the KoH but he doesn't want to rule. Of course they're equals, it just tastes different because Tamlin no longer has to be forced into those expectations. He likes the idea of raising his children instead of spending his days debating with nobles on policies. He likes the idea of tea parties and gossip and things typically feminine in comparison to his peers. Basically, he's just very genderfuck.

basically I wanna see Tam in some historical irish dresses and running barefoot in the rain

Uhhhhh, so I rambled there uh

Hope you enjoyed me spiraling because now I'm definitely planning on writing the tender part of this journey

[andthebubbles]

okay at least this ep doesn't have anthony in it so hopefully i'm not taking like 3h to watch it

3x08

mmm delicious. i love a desperate, alone cressida making bad decisions. what if there's an AU where she's a serial killer? WHAT IF SHE HAD TO RUN AWAY IN S1 AND SHE MET ANTHONY WHO HAD ALSO RUN AWAY BECAUSE MAYBE HE KILLED (OR THOUGHT HE KILLED) SIMON

LMAO I FELT THIS SO HARD

SKFJGNFDKGNJKG

what the fuck?

ehe this is somewhat similar to the speech anthony gave to daphne in 1x04 "it is more than just your honour at stake, it is your sisters' too; the entire family name. it has been decided" (eeee i went and double checked it and i only missed a lil bit; also anthony is so pretty there halp)

HAHAHAA

why the FUCK is colin making this all about himself? no one replied to him while he was travelling? wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll didn't he choose to travel?

shut up colin, you have no idea what cressida is going through

SAME, GIRL

cress why don't you just explain your situation and ask for money....... or maybe she wouldn't do that haha... aahfdkjgdkjg fuck

colin. shut the FUCK up

cress kinda needs an advisor in this lol i feel like she's showing her hand too much. but then, she's like, idk, 20?

uh, isn't colin also without a title?

CUNT

heyyy they playing the duel music :3

so... does eloise not remember that cressida's father is a bitch..... ohhh well i guess she doesn't know the details about sending cress off to wales..................

why did it sound like the drink's already hit violet skjfngfkgjgk

CACKLE

but violet was like. a kid then. lmfao

JKDNGKFGJ AND THE BIT AFTER SKJFGKG dying

heh benedict's having a good time

that bit of colin sitting up on the settee is the best he's looked all season (25:15:ish)

why did this man wink at portia

SKDFJNKFGJN why is this so funny

ohhh to be an actor like polly walker.....

🥺

i love this convo actually

oh yeah you two are REALLY alike, i've been calling this since like s1

A Thousand Cuts has a really good anthony and penelope chapter. and ... was it also that fic that had a really good anthony and fran chapter, or is that another fic...? "but franny, it is so far." maybe it was.

yeah it's really OOC that anthony skipped fran's wedding. hmm. but like, i get actor schedules get in the way... idk.

violet's speech to fran is....................................... is it not a bit out of nowhere? or is she just being like this bc she's in the honeymoon stage with marcus lmao

HAHAHAHAHAA JFC THE PRIEST FUCKING KNOWS HALP

so... is fran's look after the kiss like... ....... oh whatever

ehehe (also the moment before with b&e but that's already been giffed so i've already seen it)

benedict~

lmao

hey, the piece fran and violet are playing on the piano, isn't that mozart, one of the sonatas, 2nd mvt, but it's a little bit off, and ALSO in the wrong key... aah ... it's in F major... and in the show it's in E major........... anyway i'm not sure if it is that piece because the notes are off a bit. maybe they did that deliberately. idk

now to try find which sonata it is lmao, classical music is so hard to google

oh okay. k330. in the end i just googled the numbers i had played before lmfao. but yeah, in the show it's not exactly that. if anything it feels inspired by that.

it could be another piece entirely though, just that it has similarities to k330 2nd mvt. anyway

MAYBE THAT HE DOESN'T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH. HMMM SEEMS TO RUN IN THE FAMILY

IS THIS WHERE HE RUNS AWAY

yeah he but-ed XD

HE WANTS TO MEET MORE MEN

what if they genderswap sophie skjfng????

awww

haha skjfngkjdfng he went straight from the bed to the swings!

awww this season really made me like portia

lmfao finch's sneeze

okay so i guess pen prepared that speech lmao and forewarned some people. interesting lighting they put on her btw. and yeah i do think she got off a bit lightly, but honestly if they were to do it ... probably closer to honestly, it might've been quite harsh. but who knows. anyway

gosh i love portia

:3

awwww

awwww colin finally got off his high horse. yay. your wife is awesome. you should be pleased, nitwit :3

lmaoooo eloise inviting herself to scotland KSJDNKJFGNK

SKJFNGKJGN

okay, can benedict, eloise and francesca all be queer

i want them to genderswap sophie!!!! but i guess they won't. i guess.

eloise and michaela are holding hands!!

okay so it was only towards the end of ep 8 when it finally felt like bridgerton again. minus the costumes. the first half of ep 8 felt like... wildly off the pace.

imo they didn't need to do cressida THAT dirty.

anyway i'll save this stuff for a ep 5-8 round-up post

[nysus-temple]

Regarding the greek mythology couples poll you did, may we know why they are your faves?? 👀

OOF all of them have a lot to talk about for me but it's painfully obvious how biased i am towards Odysseus & Penelope. Gotta try to talk about all of them and not stay stucked with those two tho xD

Odysseus & Penelope > LORD. WHERE DO I BEGIN. The Odyssey is my favourite literature work from all time and Odysseus is my favourite hero, so that's something already. The fact that he always found all parts of Penelope to be... Good. Like. You know. He liked the fact that she could mess up with him. I'm never getting over the end of the Odyssey in which she makes him prove it's truly him with the whole bed and tree shenanigan. HOW SHE CRIES AFTER FINDING OUT THAT IT'S TRULY HIM. HOW HE CRIES TOO. The fact that Odysseus had EVERYTHING any mortal could only dream with, he even was told to be turned inmortal by Calypso, he could have abandoned so, so many times... And, yet, he still wanted to go back to her. He STILL justified Calypso why he wanted to. To Circe. TO EVERYONE ELSE. He was willing to keep traveling and suffering just to get back. How even if he was part of the oath he didn't want to go to war because he had Penelope AND a son with her. He DID NOT want to leave all that to her. How he choosed Penelope even when he was supposed to be one of Helen's suitors. Just imagine you're Penelope, and as much as you love you cousin Helen, you're a little... Sad, that you're irrelevant. Not for the suitors, but even for your dad. The fact that Odysseus came up and... Choosed you. You. He literally could have gone for any other woman who could give any kind of fame to Ithaka, just like Helen could. But he still choosed you. For fuck's sake, nowadays romance novels CAN'T write this trope good, but in the myths it was written down perfectly. He loved her for being Penelope. He loved her for being her. He decided to keep hurting himself for her. I just adore how Odysseus... Perhaps found someone he could connect with? Because he liked schemes and she coud trick him, the smartass who screwed up a lot of stuff with schemes, and she tricked him. He maybe felt... Free??? Odysseus was never honest. Never. I'm 100% sure he could be with Penelope. Only her and him knew about the bed and the tree ( well and technically Euriclea, but like, it's not the same with the grandma lmao ). I'M SO SORRY I EXTENDED SO MUCH WITH THEM I SAID I WAS GONNA SUMMARIZE I JUST AAAAAAAAAAA they're madly in love. Move on. I'LL BE MORE QUICK WITH THE REST

Demeter & Poseidon > TRAGEDIES !!! THEY'RE TRAGIC TO ME. We know very little about it, i know, that's what i mean. We will never be able to know what happened between them besides the damn desire excuse. We'll never know if that daughter they had was actually Persephone or not. WE'LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE SOURCES BECAUSE TIME GETS RID OF THEM... But they'll always be dear to me. Just imagining Poseidon giving little fishy creatures to her, since she's more used to plants than animals, and how she opens up to him like that. Because they're both the middle ones. The ones who don't know where to belong exactly. And how much could have been done with their daughter... If time hadn't taken them from us.

Hector & Andromache > Bro....... The Iliad chapter in which he takes his helmet off in order to not scare their son, that's literally the only chapter in which you forget this work is about war. How he held him. How Andromache begged him to live. How much he was willing to sacrifice for them to live. HOW HE FREAKING DARED TO DIE WHILE SHE WAS WATCHING IN SO MUCH PAIN. HOW MUCH PAIN ANDROMACHE FELT WHEN HIS CORPSE WAS DRAGGED AROUND THE PLACE. HOW NOT EVEN THEIR CHILD GOT THE TIME TO BE FREE. Pain. I love pain.

Aether & Hemera > Primordial favourites !! Hemera feels always left out from her family since her parents are, you know, Night and Darkness repectfully, and her, as her name states, is the Day. She can never spend time next to them since they're opposites besides being family. BUT AETHER CAN. Aether can be with her even when their parents are around since he's more than just light. So they kind of just... Stay together. Without doing anything. Just feeling that the other is there is more than enough.

Menelaus & Helen > EURIPIDES SAID IT'S HELEN WHO CHOOSED MENELAUS INSTEAD OF HER DAD MAKING THE DECISION AND I'LL DIE ON THAT HILL. Them in the Odyssey hit SPECIALLY hard. They seem to be... Happy. Like they always should have been. Because Helen deserves someone who appreciated every part of her, not just because she was the famous most-beautiful-woman-in-Greece. How they were just staring at eachother when Telemachus arrived at Sparta... They are so important in the Odyssey too.

Hyperion & Theia > i might love them for their children more than themselves lmao aNYWAY- i just, like the parents of my favourite celestial trio, okay !! AND THEY'RE TRAGIC TOO. Hyperion sided with Chronus during the war of titans-gods, you know, meanwhile Theia didn't, she stayed outside of it. And by following archeological foundings, perhaps we can guess that she had done that to stop Helios, Selene and Eos from going to Tartarus. But Hyperion insisted in fight, so, you know... TRAGIC. How do the three siblings feel after all of these??? How her mother feels after Hyperion is trapped in Tartarus and they will never see him again AGHHH

Zeus & Hera > They aren't actually at the level of the others tbh, i just felt people weren't giving them enough appreciation. I like them just as much as the rest of the couples i didn't include in the poll, let's just say. They're messy and you all need to learn to live with that !

i talked way more than i should have with Odysseus & Penelope so i went on fast mode with the rest ;v;