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complete-in-ix · 2 years ago

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Mirage of a Desert Rose (Untouchable, but Smells So Sweet

Rated: M Warning(s): Suggestive

Description: Lee Eunsang has never had the best luck with love. His heart ached all through Produce X 101, and now a certain Myung Eunho is leading him through a desert of confusion and longing only to vanish as soon as Eunsang wants to talk about his feelings. That is, until the night Eunho decides to approach him first…

(Read on Ao3)

Eunsang leans against the kitchen counter, softly sipping at his tea. The dorm is quiet, the other members deciding to stay at their own dorns tonight and Sion having gone to bed nearly an hour ago. Eunsang is content to bask in the silence—a welcome change from the bustle and noise of the day. As much as he loves being an idol, the job still tires him out even on his best days sometimes. Then again, hearing Youniz’s cheers and seeing how his members light up upon hearing them… Just the memory of their smiles is enough to make him almost completely forget his exhaustion. One smile in particular stands out in his memory, for no particular reason other than his fondness towards the person it belongs to.

He hasn’t had much time to talk to Eunho about their relationship. They—and the rest of the group, really—both know that what they have crosses well over the line of mere co-leaders and close friends. Eunsang tries to tell himself that he doesn’t mind the ambiguity and would prefer things to just progress naturally without any big announcements, but he knows in his heart that it isn’t true. Perhaps Eunho would, but if the way his eyes drop to Eunsang’s lips when he thinks he won’t notice and the way his hands always linger whenever they make any sort of contact, that’s doubtful. Those actions themselves don’t offer much in terms of clarity, but surely if Eunho wanted to let their relationship go wherever they take it, he would have made a move and taken it somewhere by now, right?

Eunsang sighs into his now-empty cup. He shouldn’t try to get his hopes too high again. His luck with love has never been the best, with him losing to someone else not once, but twice; once during Produce X 101, and another in the short-lived flight that was X1. He’s mostly over them both by now, but some memories still make his heart ache.

His phone lights up with a text right as he’s putting his cup away in the sink. Upon checking who it is, all his previous melancholy melts away.

Little Demon hyung Are you still awake? I have something for you

Eunsang’s heart stutters once the last sentence processes in his mind. What could that mean, exactly? He had just been telling himself not to hope for too much, yet he still finds those familiar wings starting to flutter in his chest again. He types out a reply and sends it before he can start to overthink.

Eunsang Yes, I’m still up! What is it?

Before his message has even been read, Eunsang is already rushing to his room to get changed into something a little more presentable. He and Eunho have already caught little glimpses of each other in their less-than-flattering moments without any issue, but there’s something different about tonight that makes him really want to make an impression. He’s gone through two different pairs of pants, three different jackets, and is in the middle of deciding whether or not to put on his favourite rose perfume when Eunho’s reply comes in.

Little Demon hyung It’s a surprise. Meet me behind the dorms ;)

Eunsang has to bite his lip to contain his excitement. Eunho has always been the more direct one between them, but this is on a whole other level! It’s settled, he has to put the perfume on now.

After five minutes of checking and rechecking himself in the mirror and sneaking down the long way to make sure he isn’t seen, Eunsang opens the back door of the dorm building to see Eunho leaning against the wall. It seems like he and Eunsang had the same idea to get dolled up a little. From here, Eunsang can see a silver chain in Eunho’s hair glinting in the light of the streetlamp shining down into the alley. He remembers telling Eunho that he liked it while on set for Bad Cupid, and then being confused at the scheming smile Eunho had given him in return. Now he understands. Little devil. Then again, Eunsang isn't innocent of stealing from sets either. This jacket is from his Kcon Mirage stage.

"Good evening, handsome. Come here often?" Eunho asks upon catching his eye.

"It's almost one in the morning," Eunsang replies, determined not to let his racing heart show. Eunho is always this flirty behind closed doors, especially towards Eunsang. Still, he can't help but be wary. Does he really mean it or is this just his way of bonding as a group? He pushes those thoughts away for later. "What do you have for me?"

"Still a surprise." Eunsang has gotten close enough that Eunho has to look up at him now, that ever-so-charming smile never wavering even as Eunsang's shadow falls over him. He flicks a hand up between them before their proximity can get suffocating, something jangling around his fingers. Keys.

"You stole the manager's van? Where are we going, should I be worried for myself?" Despite his words, Eunsang isn’t worried at all. Eunho has always been safe for him.

“I got my brother to leave his car here for us, we won’t go anywhere sketchy with it.” Eunho pulls Eunsang down by the back of the neck, close enough that he can feel Eunho’s lips brushing against his ear. “The managers don’t know anything~”

Eunho steps away before Eunsang's nerves can crash on him, keys jangling at his side. They had been so close… Dazed, he can only follow Eunho to the car, silently agonizing over what might have happened if he had turned his head just so… God, he wants to kiss Eunho so badly. Would he give in under his lips, soft and pliant? Would he take charge, rough and demanding? He nearly hits his head on the roof of the car getting in—would have if it weren’t for Eunho’s hand cushioning the blow.

“Careful, Sangie. I wouldn't want you to get hurt on our first date."

First date?!

Eunho closes the door behind him right as his words process in Eunsang's head. He only has seconds before Eunho gets to the other side of the car and gets in, what should he say to him when he does?!

By the time Eunho has gotten in and started the car, Eunsang has exactly nothing. What can he say, when the one he’s been pining over since their debut together has pretty much confirmed that he returns his affection? Still, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up…

“I can hear you thinking from here. What’s on your mind?”

Eunho’s voice calls him back out of his head. They’re on the road now (was Eunsang really zoned out for that long!?), soft yellow streetlights passing by in pleasant smudges of colour. It’s hard to get a proper look at Eunho’s face as he drives them through the city, light and shadow forming an effective mask for him. Would now be a good time to tell him? Eunho’s tone had been light, but the atmosphere in the car is strangely heavy this time, confusion and something else hanging above their heads, just out of sight. Eunsang decides to skirt around it for now.

“Lots of things. Nothing important enough to really talk about though.” A half-lie. His feelings for Eunho threaten to tear themselves through his chest and out his throat, kept down only by his confusion and past experience.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” There’s that tone again, that sweet and soft tone that Eunsang has only ever heard directed towards him. He resolutely stares out the window. They both know that if Eunsang looks at him now, he’ll break.

“I’m sure. Besides, you seem to have more on your mind than me if you’re sneaking me out of the dorms this late at night.” Eunsang dares to glance at Eunho’s reflection in the window and catches only the furrow of his brow before his gaze is back on the road. Had he been frustrated? Worried, perhaps? Eunsang forces himself not to think about it too much. His mind instead wanders to the words they had exchanged before taking off. Eunho has something for him, something that they have to leave the dorms for. Something not even the managers can know about, because it’s a surprise for their first date. Eunho could have been joking, of course, but if he hadn’t been…

It’s not much of a secret among the group that they both like men. Eunsang doesn’t remember who brought it up or why, but everyone had already clocked him by the time the company had put him with them. He wasn’t exactly as subtle as he thought he was on Produce X 101, after all. Everyone had been okay with it, thankfully. He remembers Eunho’s gaze lingering on him while the other asked him questions, and Eunho talking to him in private once that conversation had moved on. He remembers asking Eunho which way he swings, just because it felt natural to ask. Eunho’s response had been just as forward as he always is.

“Haven’t had much time to really explore. Not just girls though, I know that much.”

While that had comforted Eunsang greatly, that still raised more questions. Would he ever have a chance? Considering his track record with love, surely not…

“You’re right.” Eunho speaks again, sudden but slowly. “There’s something I want to tell you that only you can know. Nowhere in the dorms seemed like the right place, so.” Eunho shrugs. “I found a spot.”

Eunsang startles slightly when Eunho pulls the car over. He hadn’t even noticed that they had left the city, now stopping at a viewpoint on the side of a hill far above it. The lights below form urban constellations, their glow shining up to illuminate the clouds above. For just a moment, Eunsang’s worries are taken away by the view.

Rain starts tapping insistently on the roof and windows as soon as Eunho parks the car. Unfazed, Eunho just turns on the radio to drown it out. He plugs the aux into his phone, and Eunsang would recognize the sound of glass clinking to cue in those synths anywhere.

"Mirage? You like my songs that much?" He can’t help the teasing smile that spreads across his face as his debut b-side starts playing, smooth and sensual. “Is this your way of telling me you’re my fan?” Eunsang’s voice is light, as is his expression when he turns to look Eunho in the eye. Much to his surprise, none of that teasing is reflected in the older man’s eyes, only an almost solemn stare. Fear shines in those pretty eyes, contrasting greatly to the set of his jaw. “... Hyung?”

Eunho heaves a short sigh, resigning himself to whatever he’s about to say. A dark part of Eunsang’s mind is reminded of a scene in a book he had read as a child, one where the main character had confessed a secret that sentenced them to death. The name of the book has long since left his memory, but those few pages had stuck. Something in the way Eunho resolutely keeps their eyes locked together and reaches for his hand makes him feel as if he’s reliving that scene—this time as the executioner.

“It’s more than just me being your fan, Eunsang. I think you know by now that I’ve fallen for you, right?”

The confession doesn’t crash over Eunsang in a great wave, instead hitting him gradually, drop by drop like the rain on the car roof.

“I didn’t.” Eunsang takes Eunho’s hand, a little too tightly like he’ll disappear if Eunsang lets go. “All this time, I thought I was the only one who wanted more…” The weight of his own emotions prove too much for the clouds of his confusion, and they come in a torrential downpour as the words leave his mouth. His parched heart almost wants to reject him, not yet acclimated to the flood of reciprocated feelings. “Please don’t play with me, I can’t take it if you do,” he says instead. He hates how much his voice shakes on those words, how delicate he still is after he thought he had fully recovered.

“I promise you, I’m not.” Eunho reaches up with his free hand to wipe Eunsang’s tears away, tears Eunsang hadn’t even noticed had spilled from his eyes. “Let hyung prove it to you, yeah? Don’t cry, come here.” Weak to Eunho’s warmth, Eunsang melts into his touch. They’re so close now, both leaning over the gearshift just inches apart.

“Can I kiss you?” Eunho asks, at the same time Eunsang whispers: “Please kiss me.”

Eunho meets him first, pulling Eunsang in until they meet. He’s heartbreakingly tender, kissing Eunsang as if he’ll break. Eunsang is the opposite, the rush of his feelings flooding out of him and onto Eunho’s lips. He takes it in stride, tangling his free hand in Eunsang’s hair to pull him closer. Up until a few minutes ago, this had been something Eunsang thought would be forever out of his reach, but now that he has it, has Eunho, all he wants is more, more, more.

All too soon, Eunsang has to pull away for air. How cruel of the universe, to give him the need to love this deeply yet deny his body the ability to do so properly. He wants to entwine their very souls, to be embraced by Eunho so tightly that he can no longer tell where he ends and Eunho begins, oh he wants. His whimper when Eunho pulls away is utterly broken, something that Eunho rushes to soothe with another kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m not going far,” Eunho assures him. “Move your seat back a little, I’m coming over to that side.” Eunsang obeys almost numbly, only half aware of what he’s doing. His craving for Eunho’s touch encompasses his entire being, and he feels himself starting to shake apart while Eunho crawls over the gearshift to settle onto his lap.

“Hyung, can I… Touch you?” Eunsang asks, perfectly in time with his own voice playing from the radio. (“Looks like I can almost grab it”) His hands hover over Eunho’s body, so desperately craving the warmth that’s so close to him. Eunho huffs out a fond sigh, guiding Eunsang’s hands around his shoulders.

“Why do you think I came over to this side, silly?” Eunho murmurs in the minute space between them. “We’ve held back for long enough. This is real, Sangie.” He cups Eunsang’s face—not to pull him in, just to ground him—and waits for him to make the first move this time.

Eunsang closes the distance between them without a second thought, determined to kiss all his love into Eunho until it’s imbedded in his skin. Eunho matches his fervor easily, slotting against him like he was meant to be there.

It gets far too hot far too quickly for Eunsang’s liking, the thrum of his desire fogging up the windows and suffocating him until he has to shrug off his jacket. Eunho unbuttons the top half of his shirt to match him before diving right back in, drawing a moan from Eunsang that matches his voice playing from the speakers. He had always known he can sound sexy, but with the way Eunho’s body shivers with every little whine that leaves his lips, he truly understands.

“Fuck, Eunsang, I almost want to bite you,” Eunho groans against his neck. Eunsang nearly mewls at the confession.

“What’s stopping you?”

“Schedules.”

Ah, right. That pesky little thing called a career that looms over them both, that inevitably will call them back home to more endless practices and shows that cut into the time they can spend truly together… Eunsang has half a mind to tell Eunho to just do it anyway, schedules be damned. Thankfully, he still has enough of a head to resist.

“I know a better mark for us,” Eunsang whispers, kiss-swollen lips barely brushing against Eunho’s ear. “Since it’s so hot, my perfume has probably gotten on you. You’re going to smell like me until tomorrow night~” Eunho’s next breath is shaky against Eunsang’s neck, and his pupils are blown wide when he pulls back to kiss Eunsang again.

“I like that. You’re making me yours,” he murmurs between kisses. Eunsang can’t help but smile against his lips, eagerly drinking in his desire.

“And the others won’t know a thing,” Eunsang adds. He knows exactly how much to put on so that only those who get very close to him will smell it. For this, for him to be the only one to know that Eunho carries his scent… His head starts to spin, his blood rushing down to somewhere else at the thought. Something dangerous rears its head deep inside Eunsang, a deep-seated hunger starting to take root within his body. It would be too much for tonight, no matter how much he wants, so they should probably—

“Fuck, you’re going to kill me,” Eunho moans against his lips. Much to Eunsang’s simultaneous dismay and relief, he pushes himself away, keeping his hand on Eunsang’s chest to reinforce their distance. “I almost forgot this is my brother’s car, what have you done to me?”

Right, that too.

“We can do more back home, let’s hurry,” Eunsang whines, pouting up at Eunho. He looks so good looming over him like this, a great contrast to their usual dynamic. Eunsang craves him.

“We should be resting at home,” Eunho chides. “Tomorrow is going to be busy.” He glances behind himself at the car's dashboard for the time, Eunsang following his gaze. 3:25 AM. Eunho's birthday, Eunsang's lovesick mind supplies.

“I don’t care about tomorrow, I want you now.” Eunsang punctuates his words by running his hand up Eunho’s shirt. Deep down, he knows Eunho is right. He had already been tired when Eunho first messaged him, and now that the heat of his kisses is dissipating, exhaustion has come creeping in to replace his desire.

“You have me now,” Eunho assures. “Now and forever.” Forever… That sounds nice. Eunsang gives in, letting Eunho go with one last deep kiss.

The drive back home is a bit of a blur, the only clear memories being Eunho’s hand on his thigh and his own singing lulling him to sleep.

When he wakes the next morning, there are three texts from Eunho waiting for him.

Little Demon hyung Last night was way hotter than I thought Hyunseung thinks I borrowed your perfume, the scent is so strong Little does he know ;)

Eunsang can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. Perhaps they’ll tell the members eventually, but for now… This love will be their sweet little secret.

#mirage of a desert rose (untouchable but smells so sweet)#younite #2eun #canon compliant #annual #wrote this for a friend who doesn't have ao3 or tumblr #sent it to her on the first night of hanukkah (she's jewish)#and was like 'idk if this is an appropriate gift but here you go' 😭#she loved it tho so that's good!

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chocafe · 5 years ago

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the rhythms of summer — lee eunsang

summary: eunsang isn’t like the other spirits. one touch of the human skin will cause him to obliterate into the summer haze, and that’s enough to frighten you and your love for him. genre: romance, angst, fantasy, friends to lovers word count: 4.3k a/n: inspired by the animation movie, hotarubi no mori e.

Eunsang is everything the world admires. He is the bittersweet aroma of coffee beans. He is the warmth that summer possess. He is the hope that everyone longs for. He is simply everything. However, he is not human.

“Eunsang, are you out there?” You call out into the empty forest, gliding your bare hands against the rusty tree trunks.

“I’m here!” Eunsang says with excitement as he magically pops up in front of your eyes.

“Oh my gosh! You scared the living out of me!” No matter how many times you meet Eunsang, you will never get used to him popping in and out whenever he pleases to. Sometimes, you wished that he could walk normal like others, but then you remembered, he isn’t normal ─ Eunsang isn’t even a proper human being. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that little quirk of yours.”

His lips stretch into a smile and you’re sure it was the prettiest thing you have ever seen. “That’s what happens when you’re friends with a spirit like me.”

“I’m friends with a spirit that I can only see in the summer.” You notice how Eunsang’s smile quickly disappears by your comment. “B-But you’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for! Seeing you in the summer is the highlight of my year!” In between each word, your voice trembles as you try your best to bring up Eunsang’s confidence and liveliness.

“You really think so?”

“I know for sure.” You take your hand to wipe the sweat off of your forehead. It sure is hot in the summer. “It’s wonderful that this forest is right next to my grandparents house, but is hours away from my actual house in the city. Maybe when I get older, I can get a job over in this area, just so I can see you whenever I want to.”

“I would really like that.”

Actually, Eunsang would love that.

Your and Eunsang’s happiness was measured in the amount of laughters you two shared and the amount of days spent in the hazy summer season.

There’s something about Eunsang that soothes your heart. You don’t know how he does it and what it is about him. What you do know is that he’s purely the epitome of comfort.

Ever since you shared how you’ve been encountering endless numbers of sleepless nights, Eunsang begins to sing you a serene lullaby, causing you to fall asleep within the open meadow field. Despite always being eager to see you, Eunsang doesn’t mind the fact that you’re sleeping when you should be spending time with him. He cares for your overall well-being and if sleep is what seems the best for you, then he’ll choose that over swimming laps in the river.

Within the time being, Eunsang manages to braid the stems of flowers together to form a handmade floral bracelet. “All done!” He shouts in excitement, only to immediately close his mouth right after as he remembers that you’re sleeping peacefully beside him. Rather than continuing his conversation with himself, he chooses to smile instead because he’s extremely excited to show you the bracelet he had made for you.

He takes a quick moment to look at you and ends up staring at your face for a whole minute. Were humans always this pretty when they were sleeping? Were you always this pretty when you were sleeping? His heart skips a beat and he wants to remember this image of you forever.

Oh, how Eunsang wishes he had the ability to see you every single season, every day, every minute and every second; But the two of you were only limited to seeing one another in the summer.

Eunsang wants to watch you underneath the spring cherry blossom trees. He wants to jump on dried leaves and drink seasonal pumpkin spice lattes with you. He wants to play out in the angelic snow and perhaps, kiss you underneath the mistletoe.

“What are you thinking?” Eunsang questions as he lightly slaps himself in the face, trying his best to stop all of the upcoming thoughts of passionately kissing you. Nevertheless, no matter how hard he tries, he can’t stop imagining as his cheeks flush into a peachy shade of embarrassment.

Once more, he gazes right back at you and then at your lips.

“Y/N is sleeping, so they won’t know.” Eunsang thinks as he hovers his face above yours.

The urge to kiss you takes over Eunsang’s body as there was only a five centimeter gap in between your lips and his very own lips. He was so close, yet so far.

He pulls himself back to his original sitting position. “I can’t.” There was a certain heaviness in his heart, but a marked lightness in his soft tone of voice.

Eunsang can’t kiss you.

He can’t even lay a single finger on you.

One touch of the human skin and Eunsang will obliterate into the dying hot sun.

It’s not funny, but Eunsang awkwardly laughs and it rings through his bones like an unwanted phone call. “Why would you even try, you idiot.” He takes a big deep breath before sighing.

As he proceeds to drown himself in daydreams, he soon hears the sounds of you whimpering in your sleep. Sweat is dripping down your skin, your breathing pattern becomes peculiar, and Eunsang is terrified at the sight. You must be having a nightmare.

“Y/N.” Eunsang constantly calls out your name. “Y/N, wake up!”

No matter how loud he screams out, it wouldn’t be loud enough for you to wake up. In a rush, Eunsang speedily grabs a piece of wood and hits your open forehead. It was his last resort and the only thing he could potentially think of in a nervous state like his.

Your dream cuts to an end without receiving a proper ending roll credit and you wake up in pain. You were dazed, confused, head throbbing and the first thing you wanted to do was to yell at Eunsang in pure furiousness. “What is your problem? Why would you hit me with a stick while I’m sleeping?”

“Y-You” His voice began to shake since he wasn’t used to you yelling at him. “You were shaking in your sleep. It seemed like you were having a nightmare, so I thought it would be better to wake you up instead of letting you suffer.”

“You could’ve just called out my name instead, you know.”

“I did. I tried, multiple times.”

You couldn’t help, but to compare Eunsang to your mother. On the mornings where you’re too tired to wake up, your mother would barge into your room and profusely shake your arm until you were wide awake. Eunsang isn’t like your mother because your mother is human and Eunsang is a spirit who could not touch a single soul.

He’s different and you’re sorry.

It takes you a moment to realize that he couldn’t physically touch you to wake you up. “I’m sorry for getting angry when you were merely trying to help me.” The tone of your voice suddenly changes as you become apologetic in the snap of a finger.

“Hey, it’s okay!” Eunsang isn’t the type to hold grudges. “Do you remember what you were dreaming of?”

“Yeah, I do.” You scratch the back of your neck due to feeling uncomfortable because of the so-called dream that felt way too real.

“What was it? Was it a nightmare? Actually, you don’t need to tell me about it if it’s a little traumatizing.”

Moments before, you had dreamt of Eunsang disappearing into the void. It’s a constant nightmare of yours that remains to shake you to the core.

You don’t have the heart to genuinely tell Eunsang your biggest fear, so you tell him a white lie. “It was the worst nightmare. I dreamt that I was back at school and there was suddenly a test I didn’t study for!”

Eunsang tilts his head and raises an eyebrow that says really? Either you’re lying or you seriously hate school, and Eunsang chooses to believe the second option.

“Oh! Since you’re up─” He grabs a hold of the flower bracelet he made while you were asleep. “Look at what I made for you!”

Naturally, you brought your wrist to Eunsang as he began to place the bracelet on you, avoiding any skin contact with a bright smile on his face.

In a generation like yours, many people seem to adore materialistic gifts instead of gifts that truly come from the heart. You, on the other hand, would take the beautiful mother nature gifts Eunsang surprises you with than anything else in the world.

“It’s really pretty!” You comment.

You’re prettier, Eunsang thinks to himself, but giggles as a vocal response.

“I love these type of gifts from you, I really do.” You raise your wrist into the sky, so you can look at the beautiful bracelet and the bouncy white clouds, together, as one. “This just reminded me how you always used to pick out four leaf clovers for me in the past. We could be running down the hill, but once you see a clover, you would stop and place it behind my ear.” The nostalgic memories you shared with him began to play in your head like a movie.

“Ah, I forgot!” Eunsang swiftly stands up on his two feet. “Throughout the seasons, I’ve been collecting all of the four leaf clovers I’ve been coming across, precisely so I can give them to you once you visit!”

He runs off into the forest, telling you that it won’t take him too long to retrieve them all. You don’t mind waiting in the meadow because you’re too busy admiring the bracelet and the four leaf clover you had stuck behind your clear phone case.

Not even a minute passes by and you hear rustling noises behind the green bushes. “Eunsang, you’re back!” You say, only to turn around and lay eyes upon a slender cat-eye like man. “Wooseok?”

His facial expression was serious and the atmosphere he gave off was mysterious, but once you stated his name, he broke character like a shattered glass. “Wait, you know who I am?”

“Of course! Eunsang loves talking about you all and he mentioned a few times that you were very good looking, so I can only guess that you’re Wooseok out of everyone.” Rather than being afraid that you were meeting a spirit, you were more than happy to know that you were having a conversation with a friend of Eunsang’s.

“He isn’t wrong, I am pretty good looking.” Wooseok brushes his delicate fingers through his hair, but abruptly stops himself as he recollects as to why he originally wants to speak to you. “Listen, I need to speak to you, but it’s pretty hard to find you without Eunsang by your side.”

Wooseok makes his way towards you and grabs you by the chin, something full spirits were capable of doing. “Don’t you dare lay a finger on Eunsang. He isn’t like the rest of us and if you’re the reason he disappears then─”

Before Wooseok could continue on, you cut him off by slowly pulling his hand off of you. “I know everything, so don’t worry about it.”

Indeed. You knew everything about Eunsang and maybe that’s why the two of you were the greatest friends you both could ever wish for.

Eunsang wasn’t like the other spirits that roamed around the forest. He isn’t a monster, but he sure isn’t human anymore. Eunsang was merely a human child who was abandoned in the forest. He was destined to die, but every forest spirit took sympathy for him and used all of their magic to keep him alive. A body like Eunsang’s is weak as he solely depends on magic to keep himself alive. With one touch of the human skin, he will vanish as he’s just as fragile as the winter snow.

“So, you know everything?” Wooseok’s voice lowers down due to his surprise for your knowledge.

“Yes, I know everything. Despite you threatening me, I know that you and the others are all to kind to even harm a human being like me.” Wooseok was ethereally pretty, but his personality said otherwise. “I know you all think of him as a little brother, and to me, he’s my friend. We all don’t want to lose him, so trust me, I’m going to make sure Eunsang won’t be gone anytime soon.”

Wooseok opens his mouth and then immediately shuts it close as he hears the distant sounds of Eunsang running through the forest. At a time like this, he’s incapable of saying anything more because if Eunsang found out that Wooseok tried to scare you, then Eunsang would finally blow up and might even ignore Wooseok for the rest of eternity. Wooseok decides to vanish into the air because the thought of Eunsang hating him sends shivers down his spine.

Eunsang comes running back, out of breath, with a basket filled with tiny four leaf clovers. The sight of Eunsang is enough for your lips to creep into a smile and he does the very same right back at you.

Four leaf clovers are lucky, unlike Eunsang.

However, Eunsang is lucky enough to have met you and you’re just as lucky enough to have met him too.

“Hey, Y/N.” Eunsang clears his throat and stares off into the radius, refusing to make eye contact with you. “Hold onto this stick.”

“The same stick you hit me with earlier?” You look up at Eunsang and notice that he was flushed with a scarlet shade appearing all throughout his face.

Oh? Is this embarrassment? Nervousness? Shyness? Every single emotion combined?

Not only did you notice the fact that Eunsang was blushing, but you acknowledge that this is his way of asking to hold your hand. Without saying anything more, you grab onto the other end of the stick as the two of you walked besides one another.

Even though you were happy, you still felt a sharp pain inside of your heart. This had reminded you that you and Eunsang will never be able to be together. You will never get to be held in his embrace. You will never get to see him outside of summer. You will never get to properly experience love with Eunsang.

The river is lukewarm, but that doesn’t stop you and Eunsang from dipping your toes in the water. The sun is being eaten up by the sky and once more, you’re reminded that summer and your time with Eunsang is coming to an end.

“Have you ever been in love?” You randomly blurt out, kicking your feet as small specks of water splash onto your face.

“Excuse me?” Eunsang chokes up because he was never ready for a question like this. “Why do you want to know?”

“Is it my fault that I want to know whether or not my friend has fallen in love before? Come on, tell me about it!”

He hesitates before responding back. “I can’t tell you.”

Eunsang can’t tell you the true answer to your question because he fell in love with you and is still in love.

“Don’t want to tell me? Then I’ll tell you the story of how I fell in love.” It might take Eunsang years to gather up the courage to tell you about his love life, but it only took you a mere second for you to want to tell him about yours.

“Huh? You’ve been in love before? You’ve never mentioned it before.” Eunsang’s eyes widens as he’s almost frozen with shock, modestly hurt that you’ve fallen in love with someone who surely isn’t him.

“I met him in the summer heat five years ago. At first, I thought of it as a small crush since I was so young and naive at that time, but as I grew older, my feelings became even stronger than before.” You looked off into the sunset with a slight grin. “I realized that I’ve been in love since the very start and I still am in love with this person.”

He laughs softly, but thinks somewhere inside of him must be the sound of his heart breaking. “That person sure is lucky to be loved by you.”

“Yup, you sure are lucky.”

Eunsang quickly turns his head towards you and it takes him a second to process what you had just said. He’s in disbelief, and yet, he doesn’t need you to say it twice because he heard you clearly the first time.

“I’m sorry.” Are the only words that roll off his tongue.

What are you saying? You’re absolutely in love with Y/N, Eunsang thinks, but somehow doesn’t say it.

“It’s okay.” From the very start, you were prepared for Eunsang to reject you. The two of you were never meant to be with each other to begin with. “You don’t need to love me back.”

But I do love you back, He doesn’t say anything.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” He repeats himself. “I’m sorry that I can’t properly love you like other humans.”

What does he mean?

You’re still not sure how he feels about you.

Nevertheless, the two of you sit there in silence, feet in the water, staring at the sunset like it’s the rising tide.

The countryside differs so much from the city life you’re used to. Unlike the city, the countryside is dark with not much people in sight once the moon emerges into the night sky.

Maybe it was Eunsang’s urge to protect you or maybe it was his need to spend as much time as he possibly could with you; But after every time the two of you hang out, Eunsang would walk with you all the way to the end of the forest, so you could walk back to your grandparent’s house in peace. Ever since you met Eunsang, you’re not an ounce afraid of the lightless forest. However, you still allow Eunsang to walk with you, each and every time, because you love having him by your side.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

The only sounds you hear are the footsteps of yours and Eunsangs, and the four leaf clovers shifting around in the basket you were holding.

As you continued to walk through the forest, there was a sudden tug at the bottom of your shirt. You turn around, only to find Eunsang holding on while he stared directly at the ground. “Eunsang, what’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry. It brings me so much pain.” He grips even tighter onto your shirt, wishing he was holding you instead.

“What are you talking about?”

“I want to experience being in love so badly, but I only want to if I’m with you.”

He wants to be real ─ For you.

Eunsang takes one step closer and that’s enough for you to snag your shirt away and take five steps away from him. “What is wrong with you? Remember, we need to keep a distance between us.” Your heart is rapidly beating, not because you’re in love, but because you’re frightened at the fact that Eunsang is putting his life at the line. “Don’t be irrational!”

“That’s exactly it.” He brings his head up and there’s tears flooding the whites of his eyes. “I’m sick and tired of this distance between us. Don’t you know how badly I want to be with you?”

You could see how desperate Eunsang was and you’ve never seen him in a state like this before. Seeing tears fall down from his eyes caused you to freeze up and become speechless at the moment.

“Y/N, I love you.”

Eunsang doesn’t need to think twice.

He is certain that he is in love with you.

There are times where Eunsang would long for you in the autumn, winter and spring. There are times where he wants to spend time with you and do nothing, but run into a field and pick out every flower that he deems as beautiful as you. There are times where you tell him stories of your city life, because you know how bored he could get in this lonely forest. There are times where Eunsang wishes it was only you and him on Earth. Each of these moments were when Eunsang strongly feels his love for you, and he loves realizing it every time. Falling in love with you makes him feel more like a human than he will ever be.

“You know, I love you too.” You remind Eunsang once more and it falls out of your mouth as easy as reciting the alphabet.

“Then, may I kiss you?” He takes a few steps closer to you, breaking the forbidden gap.

“You shouldn’t.” You say with quivering lips.

“But I want to.”

The basket of four leaf clovers crash onto the ground.

In a matter of seconds, Eunsang presses his soft lips against yours and finally has the power to wrap his arms around you, holding you tightly in his embrace. He doesn’t want this kiss to end and he never wants to stop holding you, but everything has an expiration date, including him.

You were completely unprepared for the kiss, but that didn’t stop you from passionately kissing him back. You would think that after all the summers you’ve spent with Eunsang ─ watching him talk, laugh, smile ─ that you would know all there is about him and his lips. With him being a spirit, you’ve never imagined his lips being this warm pressed against your very own.

The kiss ends as soon as the two of you feel your tears combine into one.

“Are you out of your mind?” You scream out loud, but not loud enough as your tears were powerful enough to fill you up.

“Are you out of your mind? For falling in love with a spirit like me?” Eunsang places his hand onto the side of your face, bringing both of your foreheads together, so they can touch and lean against one another. “How silly must I be for also loving you?”

Is this what it feels like to experience love? Eunsang is glad he can finally let you live through this, but despite being glad, he begins to think how much he’s going to miss your warmth.

Eunsang detects that it’s too difficult for you to speak with tears spilling down your cheeks. He takes a long, deep breath, as his fingers and voice trembles all at once. “I’ve always loved being with you. Every single time, I felt like I was alive. Y/N, you make me feel alive and I want to thank you so much for that.”

Parts of Eunsang begins to fade away into the air and within a minute, he’ll be nothing but a figment of imagination. As your arms were wrapped around Eunsang’s waist, you can feel him become lighter and you were never prepared to say your final goodbyes to Eunsang. He was supposed to be your summer delight, not your nightmare in disguise.

“Y/N, please tell me you love me once more.”

“I love you.” You beam your eyes towards Eunsang, never wanting to forget his face. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you!”

“I love you just as much.” Eunsang manages to muster up his famous soft smile, amidst the tears that were continuously streaming down his cheeks.

It would be amazing if time finally stopped, but time doesn’t care for anyone.

“Once I’m gone, falling in love with me will feel like a dream to you.” He leaves a soft peck on your forehead and continues to wipe the tears off of your face, despite being in the same frightful state as you. “I hope that this dream has been a happy pleasant one.”

Everything hurts and you’ve never knew love could bring this much pain to the two of you.

“Eunsang, don’t say that.” In return, you kiss his lips once more. “I will never forget you and I want you to know that I was more than happy in every moment that we shared together. You’re the one who makes me happy. I─” Your tears choke you up. “I just wish we had more time. Why would you do this?”

“Because I love you.” His voice is still comforting and it will forever play in your head. “I’m so delighted to hear that you were happy in every moment we shared, even if our time together was limited to one season of the year.”

Before you could say your last goodbye to Eunsang, you feel the cold breeze hit you and you were holding nothing, but the air.

“Eunsang?” You quickly turn your body around, trying to detect your lost boy in the hidden forest. “Eunsang!”

Eunsang isn’t hiding.

He’s long gone now.

Your weak legs give up and you fall onto the ground, burying your face into the dirt. “Why does it feel like I’m suffocating?”

Spilled four leaf clovers are scattered out everywhere.

You heavily cry out loud as tears drip down from your chin. There was no Eunsang to bring you back to comfort and he wasn’t coming back anytime soon, not even at all. “Eunsang, please come back!”

There’s something mystical in your pocket and you’re unsure as to what it is. You could feel it’s light stem and when you pull it out, you lay eyes upon a four leaf clover. It was as if it was Eunsang’s last wish to give you the last four leaf clover he had picked out for you that following day.

Summer will never be the same without Eunsang.

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