#x mas files writing challenge

[catharsisxf]

When We Finally Kiss Goodnight

Rating: T

Prompt: Stolen mistletoe kiss

AO3 Link

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They walked quietly away from his apartment, his hand at its usual spot on her lower back.

He hadn't expected her to come over tonight, not after...whatever the hell happened back there. He was still reeling from the fact that they almost shot each other in the entryway of a haunted house.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

His mood brightened considerably when she appeared on his doorstep even if she was still convinced everything that happened was all in their heads.

They'd exchanged gifts - a copy of Apollo 13 for him and fancy bath salts for her - and he'd made her some tea. They sat comfortably for a while, watching little flecks of white dance past his window. He could admit to himself now that this was what he'd wanted all along. To not feel so alone. He'd felt the need to frame it as a case when he'd have been perfectly happy just spending a quiet evening in with her.

After several yawns his guilt about keeping her from her family Christmas gathering finally got the best of him and he offered to escort her out.

Passing evergreen garlands and a few wreaths that his landlord had put up in the hallway, she protested, "You really don't have to walk me to the elevator, Mulder."

"Strange things have been known happen in this hallway. You can't be too careful."

He realized as he said this they were just passing the spot where she was stung the previous year. The spot where he'd poured his heart out to her when he thought she was leaving him. The spot where they had almost kissed. He wondered if she thought about it as often as he did. He wondered if it also kept her awake some nights...wondering.

Scully pressed the button to call the elevator and the door opened immediately. Not much demand for it this time of night/morning/whatever.

She entered and turned to face him again, offering him a sleepy but warm smile.

His eyes traced the soft curves of her face. "Say hi to your mom for me," he said, bracing the door open with one arm.

Just then something caught his eye. Hanging from the ceiling of the elevator was a cluster of evergreen leaves and white berries. "Is that...?"

She had followed his eyeline and before he could finish his sentence she suddenly grabbed him by the collar of his leather jacket and brought his lips to hers. Startled, he stumbled into the elevator with her.

The reality of kissing Scully was far beyond what his fantasies had conjured up. And he'd had some pretty fantastic ones catalogued away by this point. Even the memory (hallucination?) of kissing her 1939 counterpart paled in comparison to present-day Scully. Her lips were warm and oh so soft. She tasted like chamomile and fate and he immediately wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her for the rest of his life.

He circled his arms around her as she ran her tongue along his bottom lip. Groaning, he opened his mouth and gladly accepted her in. His tongue wrestled with hers as she made desperate whimpering noises that were making his head spin.

After several minutes (and a concerning lack of oxygen) they broke away simultaneously.

Breathing heavily, he brought his forehead to touch hers. "Wow," he panted.

"Yeah," she agreed.

He gently brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I need to go," she sighed.

"Yeah." He reluctantly reached behind him and hit the button for the ground floor.

When the door opened she raised up and kissed him lightly on the lips again. She slipped out from his embrace tossing a flirty smile at him over her shoulder.

He shook his head as if to clear it and hit the button for his floor.

Next time he saw his landlord he'd make a point to compliment him on his decorating skills.

[jobean12-blog]

Temptations

Pairing: Javier Peña x reader

Word Count: 1,854

Summary: Javi's always busy with work and despite his warnings you can't stay away...you miss him too much.

Author's Note: This is for my Kinktober and one of my favorite kinks- choking...the focus is mostly on the absolute sexiness of this man and his hands in general because clearly I can't stop myself! This is also my first time writing for Javi and I want to thank my sweet love @flordeamatista ❤️❤️for checking it over and making sure I stayed true to the character. Thank you all so much for reading, much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics Thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: sassy and flirty reader, Javi is a bit d-om-ish and pos-sess-iv-e, o-ra-l, f-in-g-er-in-g, ma-s-tu-r-ba-tio-n, softness too, a c-u-rs-e or three, light c-ho-k-in-g, c-o-c-k w-ar-m-in-g

Kinktober Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist (Pedro)

“Javi.”

He looks up from his drink, continuing to twirl the small glass between his fingers.

“Someone here to see you,” Steve says, giving nothing away. 

“Who?” Javi asks, his eyes narrowing.

Steve just raises his eyebrows and cocks his head before walking off, leaving Javi’s office door open.

Javi mutters a curse under his breath before he lifts the drink to his lips and finishes it in one quick sip. He almost chokes on it a second later when you push the door open and saunter in.

“Surprised to see me?” you ask demurely as you slowly shut the door and lock it.

“Angel,” he growls out in warning. “What are you doing here?”

You feign a pout and toy with the tie of your jacket. “Aren’t you happy?”

He abruptly stands from his desk, his chair flying backward and banging into the wall.

You barely have time to react before he’s standing over you, one long finger pointed in your face and his eyes dark.

“I thought I told you not to come here.”

You stand your ground, raising your chin ever so slightly and meeting his gaze. “I haven’t seen you all week.”

You meant it to come out more powerfully, a strong statement, but instead it’s whiny and petulant.

“It’s not safe,” Javi says as he steps closer. “You know what I’m dealing with.”

You reach up to grab the ends of his loose tie, teasingly pulling on the fabric to bring him even closer.

“I made sure no one saw me,” you explain. “Even parked the car far away.”

He stares at you, unmoving, and you close the distance between you, pressing your body to his.

“What do you want?” he asks, placing his hands on his hips even as they twitch to touch you.  

“You.”

“Angel.”

You hold his stare in challenge but he doesn’t relent and steps back to put some distance between you.

“Fine,” you huff. “I’ll leave.”

You turn on your heel and start for the door but before you grab the doorknob he has you in his arms, pressed back to the door with his knee between your legs.

A smile starts to curl your lips and he takes your chin between his fingers.

“You never listen, do you.”

It’s not a question, just a simple statement of the truth and your smile grows.

“And you work too hard,” you state, batting your lashes.

The corner of his mouth lifts into a smirk as he dips his head, brushing his nose along your throat.

“Since you’re here…” he murmurs.

He drags himself away, leaving you panting against the door.

“Take your coat off. Get comfortable.”

With that he turns toward his desk and falls back into the chair.

You stay plastered to the door, carefully sliding the ties of your coat between your fingers.

“Javi,” you sing. “I didn’t come here to watch you work.”

He looks up just as you pull the ties free, the sides of the coat falling open to reveal your mostly bare skin.

“Fuck,” he growls, letting his eyes sweep over you. “You’ve been walking around the office like that this whole time?”

You wave a dismissive hand and shrug the jacket from your shoulders, casually throwing it over the file cabinet.

“Fuck,” he repeats as he gets an unobstructed view of your lingerie set.

“You said that already,” you tease, not moving from the door.

With a wide spread of his legs he leans back in the chair and crooks his finger at you.

Each step you take is slow and calculated, the sway of your hips enticing in every way. You can already see the tightness in his pants and when you reach him and sit on the edge of the desk, you let your eyes drop between his legs.

The pen in his hand creaks under the pressure of his grip as you wait, dragging your gaze up his chest to meet his eyes.

He leans forward, invading your space and reaches up to trace his fingers over the fluttering pulse in your neck. You tilt your head, granting him better access and he smooths his fingers lower, tracing your collarbone.

Goosebumps rise against his touch and you let out a soft sigh.

His hands slide lower, along the swell of your breasts, then he grabs your legs, forcing them to spread open, knees laid back against the edge of his desk.  

“Don’t you dare fucking move,” he says as he stands, slowly sliding his loose tie from his neck.

Your breath hitches but you remain still.

With careful movements he takes each of your wrists in his hand and pulls your arms behind your back, settling your hands just above your ass. You feel him wrap his tie around your wrists and secure it tightly.

When he meets your eyes again he raises a questioning brow. You know he’s checking to make sure you’re comfortable but you can’t resist sassing him anyway.

“Sure you don’t want to use your cuffs?”

He sits back onto the chair with a muttered curse then leans in, inhaling against the skin of your thigh before nuzzling his nose along the silk between your legs.

“This pretty pussy of yours is all I want…to eat, to fuck, to own.”

You moan out his name and your hips roll.  

“And when I tell you to do something…,” he whispers, knowing you’re desperate for his mouth, “I expect you to listen.”

He runs his thumb over the flimsy fabric, relishing in the slickness as your panties grow wetter.

“Javi,” you whine. “Stop teasing.”

“You think I should give you what you want?” he asks, his soft kisses along your inner thighs making them shake.

“You just said my pussy is all you want…”

Your cheekiness makes his eyes flash with intense heat and he rips your panties down your legs, leaving them hanging off one heeled foot. He kisses his way back up your leg, nibbling your thigh and drawing a groan of impatience from your throat.

His hot breath blows over your pussy and you rock your hips in a desperate attempt for more.

He teases you still, his feather light kisses just out of reach.

“Please,” you cry out, even as your expression is one of pained frustration.

“Say it again,” he murmurs.

“Please Javi,” you moan.

His tongue licks a long line through your folds and he immediately closes his lips around your clit, fluttering his tongue over and over.

“Yes Javi, just like that,” you say with a breathy exhale.

He savors all he can before sliding two fingers inside you and watching as you take them, the evidence of how much you love it glistening on his skin.

“So perfect Angel.”

You beg for more and he slides his free hand up to cup the base of your neck, putting enough pressure to let you know you’re his in every way. Your eyes squeeze shut and you choke out his name.

As his tongue works over your clit and he applies just the right amount of pressure to your throat, your walls start to swell and clench around his fingers.

He pulls away and presses his thumb to your clit, rubbing gently until you open your eyes to look at him.

“Tell me Angel. Who do you belong to? Tell me as you come all over my fingers.”

You whisper, your voice nearly raw from your pleading cries. “You…I belong to you Javi.”

He presses his lips to your clit once more and your back arches hard, your breath catching as shudders take over your muscles and your pussy tightens around his fingers.

With softening strokes and lazy kisses he draws out your pleasure and tenderly squeezes your throat.

“Then you better not forget it.”

Stay just like that,” he commands as he withdraws his fingers and stands.

He starts to unbuckle his belt, the leather hanging open as he begins to work on his pants. When his cock is free he swipes his fingers through your soaked pussy, gathering your orgasm and rubbing the sticky slickness along his length.

His free hand finds your throat again and he holds you in place, forced to watch and nothing more.

You struggle against the binds on your wrists, needing to be free as your eyes track his every move.

“Javi. Please. Let me touch you.”

His large hand moves up and down his cock in smooth strokes, pumping hard and fast, the tip bumping your clit and edging you toward overstimulation. Every time you flinch from the touch his smirk grows and his grip on your neck tightens.

“No touching. Not yet,” he rasps.

His thighs shake, tight with impending release. “I’m going to mark you Angel.”

“That’s so hot,” you whimper. “Come on me Javi.”

Your teeth are digging so hard into your bottom lip it’s painful and with three more strokes he grunts, his cum splashing across your pussy and lower stomach.

Spent, he releases your neck as he folds over you, kissing your lips and freeing your wrists. He looks between your bodies, taking in the sight of you covered in his release.

“Fuck Angel, you look perfect.”

Keeping your eyes on him, you dip your finger into the puddle then lift it to your lips, sliding it into your mouth and moaning at the flavor. His cock spasms at the sight before he meets your gaze, his expression sated but still full of burning heat.

Taking some tissues he quickly cleans you up before he sits back in his chair and pats his thigh. You slide off the desk into his arms.

“Aren’t you happy I came to visit?” you whisper into his neck.

He gives you a satisfied hum and wraps you up, gently running his fingers along your throat before his lips find yours again. His kiss is delicate and slow and your hands brush along his chest until you find the open collar of his shirt, dipping your fingers inside to touch his warm skin.

Your hands move higher, over his shoulders to caress his neck and face and you brush the hair from his sweaty forehead before scraping your fingers over his scalp. He murmurs your name, kissing you harder when you shift in his lap and straddle his waist.

“Angel,” he growls as he starts to harden beneath you. “Are you planning on distracting me from work for the rest of the day?”

You smile against his mouth with a roll of your hips, placing soft kisses along his jaw and down his neck, teasing any inch of his skin you can find.

 And without an answer you reach between your bodies and take him in your hand, guiding him slowly inside you.

“FUCK,” he hisses, pulsing and throbbing and stretching you out so good.

His fingers dig into your skin before his hands wander over your body, caressing every curve.

“I won’t stop you from working Javi,” you hum as you get comfortable and lay your head along his shoulder, kissing just below his ear. “Go right ahead.”

@hiddles-rose @blackwidownat2814 @littleseasiren @lorilane33 @pedritosdarling

[baronessblixen]

O Holy No (1/10)

Using the last ten prompts from the 24 Days of the X-Mas Files Challenge to write a multi-chapter fic with angst, humor, and fluff in an alternate season 7.

Today's prompt is: sexy santa costume

Summary: It's Christmas time and Mulder and Scully are getting closer - or are they? And as a special gift for the season, Diana is around to wreak havoc, too. Only one thing is certain: it's going to be a Christmas to remember.

(Chapter one, wc: 1,103)

Tagging @today-in-fic

Four days til Christmas Eve and Scully feels giddy with excitement from head to toe. They closed their latest case, neither of them got injured or sick, and there’s nothing else to do until after the holidays. A rare moment in time and one she appreciates.

Mulder promised her that this year, he’d not even check any internet forums, and wouldn’t pick up the phone if anyone were to call him with a lead. She hasn’t asked him what he’s doing for Christmas yet this year and knows that if she invited him to her family Christmas, he’d decline. It's the same every year.

And this Christmas, she wouldn't just invite him to her mother's house. This time, they're celebrating in San Diego. If he were to come with her, it would mean more. And she’s not sure they’re ready for that particular more yet. As much as she wants to be. She’s caught herself daydreaming about catching Mulder under the mistletoe and fulfilling a fantasy she’s had for years.

Kissing him.

They’re getting closer. It’s as much in the air as the scent of fresh pine and gingerbread. Her heart pitter-pattered when Mulder asked her if she was busy after they got home. Said he wanted to exchange Christmas presents before she left for San Diego. She said yes. They’re not even pretending they didn't get each other anything for Christmas this time like they did last year. This year they’re unabashedly honest. At least about the fact that they got each other gifts. She’s been carrying one of his gifts with her for a while. It’s nothing special, just something she thought funny, and that she hopes he’ll appreciate.

“After exchanging gifts,” Mulder says, fetching his keys from his coat pocket and glancing at her. “Would you like to stay and watch a movie?” The way he blushes makes her smile. They’ve known each other for seven years, and they’ve spent countless hours together, and yet, he blushes asking her this.

“I’d like that,” she replies with a soft smile. Mulder unlocks his door with his eyes still fixated on her face. He’s grinning from ear to ear and Scully has to stop herself from not just skipping a few steps and jumping his bones. She’s the rational one here, after all.

“I think I know what- what the fuck.”

Scully doesn’t register right away what made Mulder stop dead in his tracks as she’s about to take off her coat. She stops with her arms mid-air when she sees what Mulder is seeing too. There, in front of his desk, surrounded by soft glowing Christmas lights, stands Diana. Wearing a tiny Santa costume, a smile, and not much else.

“There you are,” she says sounding chipper. There’s not a hint of discomfort on her face or in her behavior. She glances at Scully and blinks, but then her attention is back on Mulder. “You should have called and said you’d be late.” She throws herself at him and he catches her – much to Scully’s chagrin.

“Did you drive Fox home?” Diana asks Scully with raised eyebrows. Up close, she can get a good look at the other woman. Who isn’t at all shy, despite Scully’s presence. As if, as Mulder’s partner, she was of no consequence to Diana. The other woman is waiting for her to say something. But what? Scully’s mouth is dry. She fears that if she does open her mouth, she will be sick.

What she knows for sure is that this sight will haunt her for years to come. Diana’s dress clings to her, revealing every curve the woman has. Except where the dress ends mid-thigh. Scully wishes she could close her eyes, cover her ears, and run out of here. Her heart tightens, and so does her throat, when she realizes what this means.

The way Diana is acting, the way she’s not as all taken aback, she knew when Mulder was coming home. Meaning he must have told her. Which also means he knew she would be here. Diana is still hanging from his neck, and while Mulder looks pale and surprised, Scully doesn’t think it’s because of Diana. It’s because he forgot she was here and he invited her in. She was never supposed to see this, or know about this.

Her fantasy crumbles like a dry piece of cake. There’s not going to be a kiss under the mistletoe for her and Mulder. There’s not going to be a shift in their relationship. All these little moments she’s accumulated over the months amount to nothing. His touches weren’t lingering, his smiles weren’t brighter. Or if they were, it was because of Diana. Knowing she was waiting for him at home. Knowing he had someone to come home to. Who knew Mulder would get out of the car before she did – and with someone else, too.

“I’m just- I’m gonna go,” she says, falling over her words as much as her feet.

“Good idea,” Diana says sweetly. There’s bloody red lipstick on her teeth when she gives Scully a devilish smile. All the fight has gone out of Scully and she finds herself walking backward towards the door.

“Scully, wait,” Mulder says, shaking a clingy Diana off, who pouts at him. For a moment, though, his full attention is on Scully. There’s a haunted look in his eyes and he’s pleading with his words, and his gestures, but Scully barely hears him. She backs away, needing the distance between them.

“This is not what it looks like,” he says.

“Don’t lie to her, Fox.”

“I’m not lying.” His voice is menacing when he turns back around, addressing Diana. “I don’t even know how you got in here.”

“You gave me your key last time, remember?” It’s that last blow. Her words feel like a slap and Scully gasps. Tears sting her eyes, and she knows that if she doesn’t leave right away, she will break down in front of Diana, and she refuses to give the other woman that satisfaction.

“I’m leaving,” she says so quietly she’s not sure either Diana or Mulder hear. And if she’s honest, she doesn’t even care. She needs to get away and lick her wounds. Alone.

“Scully, please.” But she just keeps going, the clack of her heels her only companion because Mulder isn’t running after her. She keeps the tears at bay until she’s in a cab on her way back home.

How could she have read these last few months so wrong?

And when, she can’t help but wonder, did Mulder and Diana start dating?

[sage-writing]

Death's Creek // Curtis Everett

Ghost!Curtis x (gender neutral) reader

Summary: The research for your thesis brings you to an ominous place

Word count: below 800

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, angst, mention of accident and death

A/N: This is my entry for Synth’s Spooky Challenge (by @syntheticavenger ) to celebrate her 8k followers. You are a wonderful human being and I am grateful that you work so hard to provide so much great content❤ Although I have to admit it was really difficult for me to keep it below the 800 words😂

I took the liberty of choosing another song and using it as inspiration🙃

Dividers are mine, you can use them but please tag me if you do.

as always I am not an English native speaker so there will be probably some errors. Feedback is always appreciated❤ Now enjoy!

It was another night in the library as you sifted through the piles of newspapers, pictures and films spread out on the table in front of you.

The research for your thesis had been dragging on for several weeks and you hadn't really made any progress. You had not typed a single page.

Only the headline stood lonely in front of the blinking cursor of your text file.

Cataclysmic Train Crash in North Adams, MA (1945)

A train had derailed due to an explosion. None of the people on board had survived. The accident had occurred on a mountainside. The terrain was uneven and rough, which had already made rescue operations difficult.

From under the pile of documents, you pulled out a newspaper. Salvage team disappeared without a trace. No one knew what had happened to them. They had gone to recover the dead, but never returned.

After that, there had been no effort to get through to the wreck. Since then, there have been more myths and rumors about the event than proven facts, which made journalistic truthful research almost impossible.

The place would be cursed, as would anyone who tried to get there. The restless souls of the deceased would still haunt this area. At least that's what the locals said. Bullshit in your eyes, but back then people were just looking for an explanation for all these terrible incidents.

They called the place of the accident the Death's Creek.

You rummaged through a shoebox of old photos from the city archives that were taken at the time. One was actually interesting to you. There was a group of men on it, but one of them caught your eye.

The quality of the old photo left something to be desired, but you could still make out the distinctive features of his face. His eyes were cool and his gaze dark and determined. The picture seemed almost alive, as if the people were moving at any moment.

"Passengers of the Snowpiercer, names unknown, photographer unknown" a small note on the back told you. The chime of the clock at the city hall alerted you that it was already midnight. Packing up your things, you decided to go to Death's Creek. Maybe there you would find the motivation and inspiration to write your thesis.

The dry leaves rustled under your shoes as you followed the dry creek up the mountain. This path should lead you to the wreckage of the train.

The climb was steeper than you thought, but you had already driven your car as close as you could and parked it on the side of the road.

After a long climb, you caught sight of the rusty wreck. The ravages of time had left their mark. Like a long decayed skeleton, the remains laid on the slope of the mountain and the sight sent a shiver down your spine.

At this altitude, the wind whistled neatly around your ears. You wanted to take some photos and climbed inside the train to do so. The metal squeaked and you were briefly unsure whether this was really such a good idea.

The remains inside were completely trashed. Inspecting with a flashlight, you looked around and your mind wandered back to the photo of the passengers you had found. What had happened to them?

It became noticeably colder and your breath condensed in the air. You felt increasingly uncomfortable in this place and suddenly you could understand why this place was avoided until today.

The howling of the wind grew louder and sounded like screams. Like someone who had suffered great pain.

You wanted to leave this place immediately and searched for the exit. Your steps stopped when you saw someone standing in your way. Instantly you stumbled backwards, falling to the ground.

It was the man in the photo. He was standing in front of you. Bloody cuts and dirt decorated his face and he looked as if he had gone through hell. And... he was missing an arm. But that wasn't the only creepy detail about him. He was transparent. You could really see through him.

There are no ghosts, there can't be.

Your brain searched in panic for an explanation of what you saw here. He eyed you suspiciously and slowly approached you, whereupon you slid further away from him until you hit the train wall.

Your opponent squatted down to you and stroked your cheek with two fingers. Strangely, you didn't feel his touch. Just extreme coldness.

"What are you?" you asked in a trembling voice.

A sinister smile formed on his face. "You shouldn't have come here."

[godofplumsandthunder]

Our First Meeting

Paring: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Warnings: Swear words, Period Homophobia (nothing major, but Bucky does have some homophobic thoughts towards himself)

A/N: First chapter of Ancient History! This is a series that I wrote for @the-marvel-horniest-book-club and its sister blogs Week of Love Challenge. The way I wrote it is when Bucky and Steve are telling Peter their story, we see it from their POV. Like The Princess Bride, or How I Met Your Mother. I had such a fun time writing this and I hope that y’all will like it!

“And so, as ‘The Valkyrie’ made its fast descent into the Arctic Ocean, Captain Steve Rogers lowered the plane into the ocean, saving humanity from the treacherous plans of the Red Skull. Captain Rogers’ sacrifice cost him everything, choosing to leave behind the love of his life, his fiancée Peggy Carter, and their unborn baby. Sadly, losing the love of her life caused Agent Carter to miss carriage, losing the last surviving piece of Captain Rogers. But, as you know, the story doesn’t end there,” the school bell rings, cutting off Ms. Lund, Peter Parker’s American history teacher. Filing out of the over cramped room, Peter is left speechless. He couldn’t mention anything in class, but he thought he knew his Uncle Steve. Losing a child would affect him, right? Steve would have said something. Walking home, Peter decided to make a quick pit stop at the Avenger’s compound, where Steve and Bucky were enjoying their retirement. Sending a quick text to Aunt May letting her know he wouldn’t be home for dinner, Peter quickly slung his way over.

Peter found Steve and Bucky in the living room, Steve playing Mario Karts (he picked up a love for the game in his retirement, don’t blame the man, okay?) while Bucky read some weird book in Russian.

“You!” Peter points at Steve, “you have a lot of explaining to do! I thought we were family! But I had to find out from my freaking history teacher that you and Peggy were engaged and you were having a baby together?” Flopping down on the couch, Peter stares Steve down, his eyes showing how truly hurt the kid was.

“I… What?” Pausing his game, Steve looks up from his game confused. And Peter, crossing his arms, shakes his head. “Don’t lie to me! I thought we were close!” And sure, Peter knows he’s probably acting like a baby, but Peter’s pain is genuine. Steve was the first one to know about his crush on MJ, even helped him plan their first date. After Tony died, Steve became his father figure, someone he looked up to and tried to emulate.

“No, you just caught me off guard Petey. God, is that what they are teaching these days? No, I’m… Peggy and I…” Bucky cuts Steve’s floundering.

“He’s gay Peter, not bi or pan, gay. He likes dick, more specifically mine.” Steve blushes as he reprimands Bucky.

“Jesus, Buck, language! He’s still a kid! But he’s right Peter. I’m gay, I’ve always have been, and I always knew it too. Peggy and I were just really good friends. God, they’re saying I had a kid with Pegs, can you believe it, Buck?”

“Yeah, I can, actually. The government loves to erase me from your, our story.” The bitterness and hurt in Bucky’s voice don't go unnoticed by Steve or Peter. “For fuck’s sake, they’re still pushing this bullshit Americana nuclear family. We’re not in the ’30s! Instead of giving the kids hope, that their sexuality can’t limit their dreams, no keep on pushing this shit!” A heavy silence blankets the room. Bucky’s anger is still fuming in him. And in traditional Peter fashion, he butts in.

“Well, I’d like to know your story! We have to give a presentation on you, Steve, and well I know it’s just one classroom in Queens, but I’d like to tell your story. And I’d love to see my teacher try to correct me. I’ll just show her my Works Cited page. Two resources, Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes.” Steve, smiling at Peter, takes Bucky’s hand in his, rubbing over the vibranium band.

“What’d you say Bucky, do you want our story to be told?”

Putting the book down, Bucky cuddles up next to Steve as he turns to Peter.

“Buckle up, spidey. Our story is a long one.”

----- The last thing that Bucky wanted to do after moving halfway across the country at the start of the Great Depression was to go to mass. Hell, his family wasn’t even Catholic, but the way his Ma saw it was they could take any additional help they could get. And if that meant listening to some Catholic priest ramble on about the virtues of Saint Peter, then so be it. Even if Bucky complained the entire walk to the small chapel.

See Bucky wasn’t that religious. He believed that there had to be some sort of God, a purpose as to why we were all here. But he never once thought about becoming a catholic. So while the Father was rambling on about the lessons we could learn from Mary Magdalene, all Bucky wanted to do was go home and have some lunch. Bored, Bucky decides he’s going to play some people watching. Looking around, he sees the usual church suspects. Stuffy old ladies in godawful hats. Even his people-watching is getting boring. That is until he sees him. A boy, probably close to his age, 15 or 16 max, but small for his age. He had the most beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. Bucky’s heart is racing, as he tries to push the thoughts in his head away. Recently he’s been having inappropriate thoughts about some of the boys at school. As his friends would go on and on about the gals they fancied, Bucky’s heart was set on the wrong gender. Or at least that is what he was taught to learn.

“Now brothers and sisters, the sister of the covenant prepared a light luncheon that’ll be served outside!” Father O’Malley’s booming voice broke Bucky out of his thinking. Getting up, he turns to his ma.

“I saw a boy that’s my age. Can I go talk to him?” Winnie simply nods as she frets over Becca’s dress. That girl could ruin any dress. Bucky wades through the crowd of people and finally makes it out to the church patio where he sees the blondie, alone on a bench, drawing.

Mustering up all the courage he has, Bucky steps up in front of the boy. “Hi, I’m Bucky. Family just moved here.” Blondie, as Bucky dubbed the boy in his mind, looks up. And god, those blue eyes were so much brighter up close.

“I’m Steve,” smiling at Bucky he motions to the empty space next to him. “Care to sit? My ma went to get some food. I don’t have many friends, as you could probably tell.” Bucky chuckles softly.

“I don’t either. Guess we can be each other’s friends.”

Something there clicked inside of Bucky. He finally understood what the other boys felt when they talked about their crush. Heart pounding and sweaty palms, as he tried to make sure he made a good first impression. He imagined going on dates with Steve, giving him the world. But Bucky knew he couldn’t have those things. He couldn’t take Steve out dancing, or on a date. He had to be his friend, and Bucky was willing to make that compromise. He just hoped his heart wouldn’t break in the process.

[itgetsdarksometimes35]

The Maid

Warnings: Non con, dub con, sex pollen, kidnapping, daddy kink, one wears clothes, one doesn’t, spanking, hair pulling, 18+

Word Count: 4,248

Pairings: Dark!Thor x Reader

Prompts: Pirates and all the warnings.��

Summary: Reader sold herself as a maid on Loki Laufeyson’s ship so she could support her family back home. One night intruders come onto the ship.

~ indicates a time change

- indicates a POV change

A/N: This is a late submission to @sherrybaby14​ mini b-day challenge. Happy late, lovely, I hope you accept and love this late present. I am officially all caught up and I’ll be posting tomorrow. I sadly will not be posting for a bit, though, after that. Finals and life demands suck, but I’ll write when I can. Love you guys, thanks for understanding, and I hope you enjoy! :) 

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Being the only girl on a ship didn’t have many perks. Sure, nobody ever got into a drunken fight with you or expected you to fight in a battle or help in a raid, but you were the mother of about 50 disgusting men. They threw their clothes at you to wash, stained with blood, feces, and urine, and left messes. You cared for them when they were sick. They constantly grabbed at you like the last piece of meat at dinner and were never grateful. Your days consisted of waking up hours before the rest of the crew, making breakfast, which typically woke everyone up, cleaned until it was time to make lunch, went back to cleaning until dinner, and cleaning until you passed out from exhaustion. On days a raid would happen you’d have to work on a docked ship and later give medical care. On the days where you attacked at sea you were to hide in your quarters. Never was there a battle lost or fought on your ship, but you were ordered to stay safe regardless. 

Your leader, Captain Loki Laufeyson, was an evil crook. Sure, all pirates were, but he was extra cruel. He stole, lied, and killed people who trusted him. You were painfully awaiting the day where he would finally sell his own crew out to save his ass. 

You being the only girl was entirely his doing. He purchased you a few years back in your village. Your father had died of infection and your mother had become extremely sick herself and wouldn’t survive much longer and now could no longer work. You had 9 younger siblings who would die during the harsh winters if you weren’t able to find food soon. You could’ve gotten a job locally, but time wasn’t on your side, you needed money fast, and none of the menial work they gave women wouldn’t do. The good paying jobs all asked for hardworking, big men. The eldest boy in your family was 7. Without any other option, you went to town and auction yourself off to pirates who needed a woman, or more, for any reason. You had hoped you wouldn’t be wanted for that. They paid big money and you would give it to your family for food and medicine while the others got local jobs to continue to support themselves. You didn’t expect to see your family again, so you let your brothers know they were now the men of the house and let your sisters know they needed to step up. The goodbye was painful, the youngest clung to your skirts while the older ones held back tears and forced smiles, promising mom would be okay and that they’d find good jobs to help out. Your mother wasn’t aware of any of it while she lay in her bed, looking off. 

“Goodbye, ma.” You said kissing her sweaty forehead, caressing her hair back. 

Soon you were at the docs, on a podium, while strange, dirty, loud men shouted numbers. Some were drunk and stumbled over their words while others were pointed and well spoken. Among the ladder was a man who sat at the very front. He started at you with eyes as blue as the water he sails on, long hair as dark as his thoughts.

 “Five thousand pound silver.” The crowd hushed. They looked around for the maniac that would pay that much for one maid. Your eyes widnes at the mysterious man as a sinister smile graced his God-like features. You turned to the auctioneer who donned the same surprise as you. 

He shook out of the shock and yelled, “Going once, going twice...Sold!” A man in rags helped usher you off the podium while another lead a blonde girl on next as the number calls started again. Your legs moved on their own accord as your mind swam. Why had he paid so much for you? What was his plan? 

You were lead to the pirate and a banker who would handle the money. A few small brown bags sat on the table where the banker sat filing out papers. He grabbed them before turning to you. “Who do I make the remaining money out to?” You told him your family’s name and he scribbled on two pieces of paper. He stamped one before handing it to the man who’d just bought you. “Here you are, Captain Laufeyson, enjoy your new lady.” 

You continued looking forward as your body began to shake from fear. From the corner of your eye you saw him turn to you with the same smile he wore minutes before. “That I will.”

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You opened your eyes suddenly, looking around the darkness. Your body typically woke you up like clockwork to get the day started, but that’s not why you were currently up. You heard a noise. The wood of the floorboards above you creaked. Who could possibly be up? Every night the men filled their bellies up with food, wine, and beer and passed out; the smell of more food being their only source awakening. You swung your legs out of bed carefully and grabbed the unlit oil lamp on your dresser of items. You reached into one of the drawers and pulled out a lighter and fed the lamp the flame as it illuminated the small room. You slowly crept to the door, praying the wood wouldn’t betray you. 

You pulled the door open and looked out with the lamp lighting your view. Seeing nobody there you crept out more until you were at the stairs. You couldn’t see past them and your heart beat in your chest like a hammer. Maybe you should turn back. Go back to sleep, pretend you heard nothing. The thoughts ran in your head as you debated what to do next when you heard it. Heard them. Voices. You quickly blew out the candle and was thrown into darkness again. You crouched down and leaned on the bottom step, listening. 

“Find what you can and take it. I want this mission to be quick and easy, find the hammer, burn the ship down, and leave. If you find anyone awake, kill them. My brother will pay for what he stole from me.”

Fuck. Footsteps continued walking around upstairs and your mind raced. You were being invaded. But surely by the wrong ship, Loki had no brother. Or maybe he did, he never spoke to you. You didn’t know what he stole from people or who he stole from, you just knew he left behind countless enemies that were bound to come back one day. But they never did, until now. 

You had to think fast, the ship would be up in flames soon and if you’re found awake you’ll be killed. You couldn’t jump overboard, you’d definitely drown. Your only hope was the ship’s one lifeboat, the one Loki kept around for himself and a few men that’d he take with him to help row him to safety if the ship were to ever have an emergency. It was a long shot, the odds weren’t in your favor at all, but if you waited for the flames to wake everyone the lifeboat would be filled and gone. If you acted now, you’d be in the boat ready to sail off the minute the invaders burned the ship and retreated back to their own. 

Rowing couldn’t be that hard and you had to be close to land. You had just finished a raid hours ago, you just needed a map. Maybe a compass and some food to last you. You stood and slowly crept to your room to retrieve a small brown sack with a map and compass in it, you’d stolen it in your first year on the ship, saying you’d run away back to your family; you never found the guts. It was still dark so you felt around blindly until you felt it hidden in your drawer. Then you walked  fast, but carefully, back out and to the stairs where you listened for movement. Upstairs in the kitchen was a basket of fruit the men had gotten while on land. You’d have to be fast. The kitchen was all the way on the other side, and you had no idea what these men looked like or where they were. 

Slowly, while clutching the bag tighter, you made your way up the stairs. You looked around, using the moon as light, before deciding the coast was clear. You stepped onto the deck, the cold night made the wood feel like ice on your bare feet. You were used to the heat of the underdeck, never had you left your room in such immodest conditions, wearing just a thin nightgown and underwear. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment of being found like this as you carried on to the kitchen.

You got into the kitchen and felt for the fruit, using muscle memory to navigate around the room. You stepped very timidly in your search, you were all too aware of the fact that there were plenty of things that made loud noises in here. Then you felt the bowl and took a few fruits before putting it in your bag. You start walking out when a loud clang echoes throughout the kitchen and pain radiated through your foot. You kicked a pot.

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A noise rang in Thor’s ears and stopped his search short. He boarded his brother’s ship with 3 other men in search of the hammer his brother had stolen from him, the object that was worth more than gold that he had found on a journey. He looked up at his crew member, Heimdall, and the both nodded to each other. They both inched closer and closer to the source of the noise, drew their swords, then pushed the door open. The moonlight pushed in and illuminated the room. In the middle of it was a black pot on the floor. 

“It may have fallen by itself. Stranger has happened.” Heimdall commented. 

Thor grunted in an answer, but didn’t leave, moving deeper into the kitchen. He kept his sword at attention before him, ready to swing. As he continued looking, Heimdall stepped outside to keep watch as Stephen Strange walked up to him, yielding the object they were all there to retrieve. 

“I found the hammer,” he said holding it up to Heimdall, the light bouncing off it, “Cocky bastard had it unprotected in his trophy room.” Stephen announced looking into the kitchen and seeing someone crawling. His eyebrows raised as he looked closer into the dark room.

Thor turned the last corner before standing up completely, sighing in defeat. “I guess it did fall by itself.” 

Stephen smiled as the small body continued to crawl slowly backward toward the door, obviously oblivious to the two men that stood behind her. “Not quite, Captain,” the body stiffened at the close voice. “I think we found our culprit.”

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You hadn’t heard them, you were too focused on the man with long blonde hair to notice the two other men that stood behind you. The hair on your body stood to a point and your body was frozen in place. You stared ahead as you felt the heat of the man behind you. 

“What do you mean-” 

The blonde, their captain, stopped short when he saw you. His eyes matched that of your own captain’s but he was much bigger. You could see the muscles work to hold the heavy sword that the captain held onto, his beard was light across his stunned face. He was beautiful. And he was going to kill you. 

The blonde shook his head and looked above you to his men. “Heimdall, go find Holgun and you guys start the fire. We’ve gotten my hammer, now it’s time to finish what my brother started.” He turned to the one holding the hammer. “Hand me my hammer and go with them.” 

The brown haired man walked to the blonde holding out the hammer, never taking his glaring eyes off of you. “What about her?” 

The captain looked to you before responding, “I’ll deal with her.” 

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The next thing you knew, you were on a lifeboat and the ship you had called home for years now was up in flames. The only lifeboat on the ship was set on fire, so there was no way of escape now. The men you were with rowed away from the flames as screams and panic filled your ears. You still clung to the brown bag as you curled up into yourself on the boat floor. Every once in a while the captain, Thor as the men have called him several times, will look at you. 

Stephen looks back at you before looking at Thor, who was still looking at you. “You said to kill anyone who was awake. She was awake; why are we taking her back? She should be dead.” The other men glanced back as well before turning their attention back to rowing. 

“She’ll come in handy.” Thor smiled at you before turning to Stephen. “Don’t question your captain, Stephen.”

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It didn’t take long before you were back at Thor’s ship. It was like Loki’s only this one looked newer. It was definitely in better condition, he probably had more than one maid. The men got out of the boat and onto the ship, stretching as the morning glow of the sun coming up cascading onto the main deck. Few other crew members were up and moving things along to get the day started. They seemed less barbaric than the men you were used to babysitting, these men looked like they knew how to care for themselves. 

Thor helped you from the lifeboat and lingered even after you were steady on your feet. You looked up at him before looking at the bag in your hands. A gust of wind went by, making you shiver; it was then that you remembered how exposed you were. You wrapped your hands around your body, and Thor must’ve noticed this gesture because he hugged you to him. 

“You’re freezing. Here, follow me.” As Thor led you around more and more eyes looked to you. Hungry eyes took in your scandalous appearance, not once did you see another girl. Something told you these men hadn’t seen a girl in years, especially in this type of attire. 

You were led into a big room, at least double the size of what you were used to. Thor set down his hammer on a dresser before pulling socks and a jacket out. Both items entirely too big for you. 

“I’m sorry, it’s all I have,” Thor said scratching the back of his neck, sounding ashamed, “Not any women who would be able to share clothes with either.” He handed you the items and watched as you timidly pulled the clothes on. 

“T-thank you…” Your voice didn’t sound like yours. 

Thor nodded and looked at your bag. He seemed to just notice it as he took it from you, looking at the contents within. He looked at you before smiling. “You wanted to run?”

You nodded meeting his gaze. 

“Did my brother didn’t treat you right did he? Never did know how to care for a woman properly.”

Oh, he thought…

“No,” You said a little too loud, “I was only his maid. We never...I never…” You trailed off, before looking down at your hands. They were sweaty from holding the bag for so long. 

“But he wanted to. He tried didn’t he?” 

You stayed silent. Thor seemed to know his brother, you didn’t need to answer him. The night Loki took you back to the ship he had tried, but you cried and begged. You thought he wouldn’t let you go, what would you be able to do? You couldn’t run and even though Loki was no match for his brother, he could’ve overpowered you in an instant. And you were on a ship with at least 50 men who wouldn’t mind helping their captain, you shook at the thought. Loki had spared you, though. He just doubled his efforts to make your job as his maid harder, refusing to buy another maid. 

“My brother is anything but merciful, my lady. You held value in his heart, if you hadn’t he would’ve killed you after refusing him. I’m afraid we’re similar in that way.” The way he said that didn’t settle well with you. It felt like a threat. “I don’t blame him though,” Thor stepped closer and touched your cheek, “You are a gorgeous little thing. Something like that can’t just be let go so easily..”

You shrugged away from Thor and he retreated his hand. He smiled at you as you looked up again. “Right well, I’m afraid being on my ship and serving no purpose is prohibited.” His voice dripped venom as he stalked closer to you, backing you into a wall. 

“What d-do you want from me?”

“Mmm, I think you know.” Thor gripped the hem of your nightgown, slowly hiking it up. 

Your hand flew to his hand, trying to stop his efforts. “Captain, please, don’t. I can do anything else, just don’t…” Tears threatened to fall from your eyes as you looked up at Thor, pleading with him. 

He sighed before letting your gown go and stepping back a bit. “Fine.” He turned behind him. “Go into that cabinet. Inside is a cleaning powder, liquid powders mess up the wood on my ship. Use that and scrub the floor in here. Then move on to other rooms.” 

You looked stunned at his relent, waiting for the trick to be revealed. With Loki you had screamed and begged for hours, Thor just gave in. Then again, he did seem more level-headed than his brother.

You walked to the cabinet and found a small jar with powder inside. It was a strange place to keep cleaning supplies, but you weren’t one to judge. You were thankful you were able to keep your innocence. 

“I’m going to go and talk with my crew. I’ll take it you know what your doing?” You nodded again. “Good.” With that Thor was gone leaving you with the sweet smelling powder. It burned your throat but it wasn’t unbearable, you’d had worse done to you. You looked into the cabinet again and found a rag. You dumped some of the powder on the rag and started scrubbing the floor. As you did, more of it wafted to your face and into your lungs and nose. You coughed and looked to the floor. There was no difference. What the heck? You thought. Maybe you need water? 

You stepped into the room connected to the Captain’s room and found a pail of water. You grabbed it and pulled it to the main room where you were sitting. When you made to sit, your thigh brushed your core and you whimpered. It felt good. You had no idea why, but it left a hunger within you. You tried to ignore it, not wanting Thor to think you were useless by not doing the one job you've been doing for years now. You wet the rag before dumping more of the powder on the now damp rag. More powder went to your face and your hunger grew. You scrubbed the floor harder, trying to do anything to ignore it. You looked to the floor and again saw no difference. Maybe Thor would see one and you just didn’t, the floor looked pretty clean before doing this anyway. 

You moved on and the powder continued flying around you. Soon you were sweating, the heat in your core growing all around your body. The more you ignored it the bigger it grew. The powder was soon gone and you tried to stand to go let Thor know you needed more. As you did, your pussy screamed with need as it brushed your thigh again. You moaned out in frustration before wiping the sweat from you. You took painful steps outside the room to find Thor and found the deck even busier than before. As you stepped out more men looked to you, stopping what they were doing and licking their chops like an animal. What you would do to be devoured in that moment…No. This wasn’t you. Whatever was happening you’d figure out later. Right now you needed Thor. 

Almost on cue, Thor stepped in front of you, grabbing your arms and keeping you upright. Your legs felt as if they’d give out as him hands seemed to cool the fire in you for just a moment. “Finished?” Thor looked down at you with beautiful eyes. He was so good looking…

“Y-yeah. I need more, uhm, powder. I ran out. I’m sorry…” You mouth felt dry and you couldn’t seem to focus on your words. 

“No, I think you’ve had enough, my lady.”

“What? But you said-”

“I know but you don’t look like you can continue, not in your state at least…”

His eyes trailed down your body and back up. His eyes darkened as he watched your thighs rub together. You needed a release. 

“Water. I need water, I’m so hot. Why is it so hot?” 

Thor chuckled before reaching at a table beside him. He handed you the goblet that was filled with wine. You gulped it down, but it did nothing for the dying thirst you felt or the unbearable heat you felt. You started gasping as another wave of heat hit you, your core ached and you felt your panties getting wetter by the second. You gripped Thor’s jacket that was on you and fumbled to take it off. That still gave you no release, even the socks’ removal felt like nothing. All the while Thor looked at you with amusement. You narrowed your eyes at him.  “Thor, what did you do to me?”

“Nothing that wouldn’t help you.” He looked around the ship and saw his crew looking on in curiosity. He pulled you closer to him, his carnal and territorial instincts kicking in at the sight of men sizing up his meal. 

“Thor, please, help me.” 

“Don’t worry, baby, we’re getting to that.” 

Thor gripped the collar of your nightgown and pulled. The fabric tore all the way down, exposing your boobs to Thor and his crew. The cool breeze felt amazing on your fiery skin, but there was still a flame that didn’t extinguish all the way. You made to cover yourself but Thor held your wrists in his strong hand. With the other he ripped your panties from you, leaving you completely bare for everyone to see. You moaned as another wave crashed into your body. 

“I know, I know, I’m right here, baby.” Thor shushed you as he turned and bent your body over a table. Your drenched pussy was on full display for him. He rubbed his crotch to yours and you cried out. You needed him inside you. Now. 

“Thor, please..”

“Mmmm, please what?” He grinded harder into you.

“Please, fuck me.”

Thor fake gasped in surprise. “In front of all these people? Tsk, tsk, tsk, I expected more decency from you.”

“Thor, PLEASE!” You begged for him to touch you, do anything. 

He chuckled. “Alright, baby, if you say so.”

With that Thor shoved himself in. You felt a sharp pain as he broke the barrier of your innocence, and you cried out. 

“It’s okay, shhh, that’s right, take daddy’s big cock. He’ll make you feel better, don’t you worry.” Thor continued his hard pace, with each thrust your fire was slowly dying out. But another was forming within you, it had you backing up into Thor, trying to appease it. 

“Nuh uh,” Thor slapped your ass, “You asked me to fuck you, baby, so let me fuck you.” His hand danced along your hip down to where you both were connected. He rubbed tight circles on your clit that had you moaning out louder. Thor continued slapping your ass, loving the way you squeezed his cock when you did. His thrusts and fingers were working you closer and closer to bliss.

Finally your breath hitched and you were crumbling over the edge, eyes shutting in euphoria. Thor grunted above you as he drew his hand away from you clit and up to your hip, crushing into you even faster, chasing his release. He grabbed your hair and pulled you up to him so he could whisper in your ear. 

“Fuck, your sweet little cunt is gonna make me cum baby. Your squeezing me so tight, milking me for everything I’ve got. You want me to cum inside you?”

When you didn’t answer he spanked your ass again. 

“Answer me when I talk to you.” He growled. 

“Yes, I want you to cum in me!” 

“Yes what?”

“Yes, daddy!”

“That a girl.”

A few more thrusts and Thor was cumming deep in your squelching cunt. Your pussy ached from the abuse and your thighs were sticky with both you and Thor’s release that was leaking out of you from around his member. As Thor pulled out, you realized in your daze he was still fully clothed with just his cock hanging out. He looked around at the men who were still watching in awe. 

“Enjoy the show boys?” He looked to you and smiled while stroking his hardening member. “How about round two?”

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@jtargaryen18​

[clintbartonswife]

Home

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader, (platonic) Steve x Reader Summary: When Steve first comes out of the ice, he learns of his fellow Howling Commando’s fates, yours being less than pretty. So, when he goes back to return the stones, he decides to be selfish. He brings you home.

Written for @buckygrantbarnes writing challenge with the prompt : Epiphany (n)- a moment of sudden revelation or insight. It’s in bold. I really tried 

Warning: brief mentions of suicide, angst, minor swearing, involves flashbacks (through Steve’s eyes) to 40s!bucky and 40s!steve

Word Count: 3.2k - this was not meant to get this long oh dear god

masterlist

“Are you sure you want to do this Cap?” Tony asked, placing the Manila folders in front of him cautiously, “You might not like everything that you read”

Steve just nodded, his eyes immediately drawn to your file, “I have to know”

He waited until he was alone that evening to look through the folders, starting with Dum Dum’s folder. By 2 am in the morning he had finally reached yours, fingers hesitating at the crisp pages. With a deep breath, he finally opened it. 

Your face beamed up at him, standing in between him and Bucky. That particular picture had been taken after their first successful hydra raid with the howling commandos, the three of you full of incomparable joy. Steve felt his eyes brimming with tears as he set the picture aside, moving onto the typed up briefing of your life. 

He knew something was wrong before he had even started, the folder much thinner than that of the other members, only a mere few pages detailing your life after the war. His stomach clenched uncomfortably at the sight, yet he continued to read. 

She continued to fight with the surviving commandos until the end of the war, where she was heavily decorated amongst her peers. Retiring from the forces, she moved back to Brooklyn, only 5 minutes away from Rebecca Barnes and her new husband. 3 months after retiring from the service she was found dead in her apartment from a gunshot to the head, self inflicted. 

Steve felt sick. Utterly, utterly sick. He had left you alone, and without him or Bucky there to help you, you had crumbled. Shoving the folder away from him, he stumbled to his feet, dashing out of his room and towards the common room kitchen to get some water. 

He ignored a few worried calls as he walked through the corridors, his mind reeling with the imaginative horrors of your death, conjuring up images of your limp body sprawled lifelessly on the floor -  

The thought made him heave, tears gathering in his eyes as he clumsily took a cup from the cupboard and began to fill it up, his usually steadfast hands shaking life a leaf as memories of his youth filled his head.

“I didn't see you here yesterday, you’re always sat here sketching at 4. Were you okay?”

Steve looked up at you in shock, sketching pad lying on his legs as he tried to formulate a sentence.

“Wha - yeah. My asthma was bad is all, ma didn't want me leaving the house. Um - I’m Steve”

“Y/N” you greeted cheerfully, seating yourself next to him on the bench, “I think we’re going to be great friends”

“Steve! Wait up!” you called, running down the street, madly weaving through the throngs of people that lined the Brooklyn streets. Steve had known you for years now, Bucky instantly accepting you into the fold.

Steve watched you approach with a grin, leant against the wall with his hands tucked in his pockets to keep out of the way of the morning rush. 

“I thought you had ditched me” he teased, elbowing you lightly in the side, “was waiting for 20 minutes doll”

You ducked your head slightly, your hair falling in your face as you laughed, “I would never Steve - you know that”

With a small nod, he offered you his arm, the two of you walking towards the theatre.

“Is Buck coming?”

“Shouldn’t you know that?” He teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

You blanched, a blush creeping up your cheeks, “I don't have a clue what you’re talking about”

He snorted, falling next to you in line at the ticket booth with a relaxed smile.

“Yeah, because you didn't fall hopelessly in love with him when we were 7″

You punched his arm lightly, stumbling over words as you tried to defend yourself.

“He’ll ask you out any day doll, I’m sure of it”

“Steve! Help me!”

He turned around to see Bucky close in on you, tackling you to the ground before he began tickling your sides.

“Make him stop - ow! James! I’ll get you for this I swear!”

“Nah, you love me too much to hurt me babydoll” Bucky smirked, his eyes shining with admiration as he stared down at your scowling face.

Steve sniggered as he watched you turn beet red, immediately wiggling out from underneath the taller man and making a rushed excuse to leave.

“What was that?”

“You called her babydoll again” Steve smirked, crossing his arms triumphantly, “Just admit it, you like her”

“I don't know what you’re talking about punk”

“Jerk”

“It’s in Europe, they say we might have to join” you said in a low voice, squished between Bucky and Steve in a booth, a shared smoothie sat on the table.

“Someone’s got to stop the Nazis - I think we should help” Steve explained with a small shrug. “They’re bullies, they need to be stopped”

“What do you think Buck?”

“Huh - what? Sorry doll I wasn’t listening”

You sighed, narrowing your eyes at Dot who had been flirting with him from across the diner.

“Just go sit with her if she’s that bloody interesting”

“If that’s alright with you?”

You huffed moodily, Steve answering for the both of you, a scowl forming on your face as you watched him flirt.

“He’s nothing but a skirtchaser” you huffed, taking an angry sip of milkshake, “Just admit it Steve, he sees me as a sister. I’ve known him too long”

“Trust me, he doesn’t look at you like he looks at Becca. He’s just being an idiot right now” Steve said, consoling you, “Besides, they never last more than a week, you’ve got to realise there’s a reason for that”

“I’ll believe it when I see it Rogers”

“Buck you cant go” you cried into his chest, hands fisted into the material of his jacket.

“I’m sorry doll, but you know I have to. I’ll come home, I promise” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your hairline as he pulled away, moving to give Steve a hug.

“Look after her while I’m gone Steve, I mean it”

“You know I will”

“And don't do anything stupid”

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you” Steve smiled sadly, moving to hold your hand as you waved Bucky off.

As soon as he was out of sight you buried your head in Steve’s shoulder, letting out broken sobs as he held you tightly.

“I didn’t tell him Steve”

“I know”

“What do you mean you’re leaving? You’re being deployed?”

“Yes, well I -” You cut him off with a hug, knowing how much he wanted to get in to the army, until the reality came crashing down.

“What am I supposed to do? What about your asthma? Your pains? I - I should join the nurses, see if I can go with you. You’ll - you’ll need someone who knows how to help you”

“Y/N no, I promised Buck -”

“You cant leave me here alone Steve, I cant be in Brooklyn alone”

“Who are - wait - Steven?”

“It's me”

“But you’re massive! What happened to you!”

“I joined the army” he chuckled, a sad tinge to his voice

“Why’re you sad?”

“They’re not deploying me. They have me on a dance troupe instead, something about selling bonds”

You pulled him into a hug, withholding a sigh of relief, “Well, I guess I’ve found my new job, eh?”

You snuck off stage with Steve, ignoring the cheers of the soldiers as you consoled him, smiling at Peggy as she approached.

“Tough crowd? That audience contains what was left of the 107th -”

“Wait, the 107th?” 

Steve was up in a flash, you and Peggy following close behind.

“Sir I just need to know one name, Sargent James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th, please”

“I’ve written more of those letters than I’d care to admit today - I’m sorry but the name does sound familiar”

You choked down a sob as Steve asked what the plan was to save the POWs, your hand absentmindedly clutching his as you tried to ground yourself.

“I cant believe I let you come” Steve breathed exasperatedly, watching as you put your show helmet back on, a determined look in your eye.

“Hey, I’ve been training her, she’s pretty good” Peggy smiled, handing you a pistol and holster, as well as a stolen machine gun.

The plane leered to the side slightly, Howard shouting apologies from the front.

“I’ll have you know I beat your accuracy on the shooting range, Rogers” you teased, attaching the thigh holster as you steadied your breathing, getting ready to drop into enemy territory.

You fought brutally, following Steve’s every move as you made your way through the hydra base.

“What do you need me to do?”

“Get the prisoners out, I’ll carry on looking for Bucky”

“Are you sure -”

“If he sees you here you know he’s just going to act tough, we need to move quickly”

You snorted in agreement, taking the cell keys and splitting off from him, shooting down the last few guards before entering the room.

“Who are you?” 

“Here to save your asses”

“I asked you to keep her safe!”

“I did! She’s fine isn't she?”

“She is standing right here! And yes, I’m joining and there’s nothing you can do about it, okay?”

“Doll, I just don't think -” “Bucky if the dame wants to come along, let her come” Dum Dum interrupted, “She saved us back then and she seems capable enough”

You smiled smugly, raising your eyebrow at Bucky as Steve watched on in amusement.

“You’re not gonna back down from this are you? God my ma’s gonna kill me”

You cheered at his acceptance, pulling both Bucky and Steve into a hug.

“The three musketeers back together again”

“I wish it was under better circumstances”

“don't we all”

“Bucky I’m fine! It was the right move, if I hadn't have gone in there then the turret might have taken Gabe and Pinky out!”

“You almost got shot!”

“We’re always almost getting shot!”

“But normally I have eyes on you - I can look out for you” “I don't need you to babysit me James! I can do it!” “Well I cant! I lost eyesight on you and you weren’t answering me doll - I - you can’t do that -“

“You don’t seem that bothered when the others leave your sight! You’re being hypocritical Bucky -“

“I LOVE YOU GODDAMNIT”

Everything went quiet, a shocked gasp escaping your lips at the epiphany.

The men cleared their throats awkwardly, the two of your voices carrying back to the camp. Steve, however, sat back in his seat happily, glad that his friend had finally taken the leap. 

Everyone was sat quietly as Jaques fiddled with the radio, trying to hack into the Russian network.

Steve was sat opposite the two of you, watching as you had a hushed conversation. You were sat in between Bucky’s legs, your back leant against his chest. You tilted your head upwards to talk to him, small giggles escaping your lips as he pressed light kisses all over your face.

The rare peaceful moment was cut short as the channel took hold, harsh Russian cutting through the cold air, bringing with it the beginnings of the next mission.

“What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that we were cornered and I needed to get into the control room!”

“Jesus babydoll, are you trying to give me a heart attack”

“I can handle myself Buck! How many times do I need to prove myself before you realise that? I can fight my own fucking battles”

Bucky cut you off with a growl, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder, muttering something about your dirty mouth.

“We’ll be back in a bit Steve”

“Try and keep it down this time” Steve teased, earning a shocked curse from you as you began to scold him.

“Steven Grant Rogers, how very dare you -”

“Stevie you’ll never guess what!”

“Did he do it?”

You turned around to Bucky, a massive grin on your face.

“He knew?”

“Of course he knew, who do ya think helped me pick the ring?”

Delighted, you hugged Steve, thanking him.

“He was getting cold feet, thought it was too soon” Steve teased, “all I had to do was remind him you’ve been in love since you were 14 - he’s been carrying that damn ring around since the last big town”

“I love you big idiots”

Bucky chuckled from behind you, his arms encircling your waist protectively, chin resting on the top of your head.

“Just a few more bases and we can go home” Bucky promised, Steve nodding firmly.

“Just a few more”

You stared blankly at Steve, his words falling on to deaf ears. Blindly, you started towards the edge of the cliff to look at the train track where he had fallen, Steve’s hands preventing you from getting too close.

“He’s not gone. He’s not”

“I’m sorry, I reached for him. He was right there and I-“ Steve’s voice broke off into sobs, your arms mechanically hugging him. You were numb.

“It’s not your fault” you murmured repeatedly, “not your fault”

Only two weeks later, the group had found the main hydra base. Steve had tried talking you out of coming but you needed the revenge, the alcohol not cutting into your grief.

You moved through the base with conviction, unbridled fury coursing through your veins as you cleared corridors of hostiles by yourself, movements brutal and unforgiving.

“He’s on the jet - missiles - I need backup”

You watched as Steve kissed Peggy, a small smirk pulling at your lips, before you continued clearing the way to the control room.

“I’ve got to put her in the water”

“Steve - no. You can’t do that to me, please”

Peggy tried to come up with an alternative route, but Steve was sure it was the only way.

“Y/N I’m so sorry”

As Steve stepped on the platform, one glance at Bucky confirmed what he had to do.

When he had first remembered you, he had cried for hours in Steve’s arms until he eventually worked up the courage to read your folder. He had gone silent for a few minutes before letting out the most heart wrenching sob Steve had ever heard.

He was inconsolable for quite a while afterwards, quite similar to Steve when he had found out, unable to imagine you in a place that dark.

“3, 2, 1”

A hesistant knock sounded at your door, bringing you out of your daydream. You cursed the interruption, reality crashing back down around as you realised you were back in the States and they were gone.

The person knocked again, more firmly this time. You opened it with a fake smile (one you had mastered recently), to be met with a familiar set of broad shoulders.

”Steve?”

Your voice was shaky, your hand reaching out to cup his cheek.

“Oh god I’m going insane aren’t I - you - you died. You’re both dead. Who - why are you doing this? It’s not funny!” You wept, scrambling backwards.

“Y/n-“

You froze at his voice, hands beginning to tremble.

“No, no”

Your crying increased as you pressed your hands to your ears, sliding down the wall until you were hunched over, rocking back and forth slightly.

“You’re dead, you’re dead, you’re dead” you mumbled.

“Y/n I’m here, it’s me. I’m here doll”

Warm arms wrapped around you, pulling you into a comforting embrace, “shhh. Shhhh”

“Is it - is it really you?” You asked, hands clawing at his shirt, “Steve, Steve it’s you?”

“It’s me, I’m here” he said, voice cracking with emotion.

“But - but - the ice. You crashed Steve. You - you - you died! You both died!” You had to pause, choking on tears, “you both left me. I had to come back here alone, you know I didn't want to be in Brooklyn alone”

“I know, and I’m so sorry doll. I’m so sorry. But I came here to take you home, with Buck and I”

“Oh - I did it didn’t I?”

“What?”

“I’m dead”

“No. You’re not dead, but you did-“ his voice broke off, tears falling from his eyes as he tried to finish his sentence, “I know what you’re thinking of doing”

“Oh”

“I’m from the future, there’s no easy way to put it. The ice froze me, kept me alive. I read it in your notes”

“Bucky’s alive in the future too?”

“The fall didn’t kill him”

You gasped, filling in the gaps yourself.

“Oh god, we - we basically handed him to them!”

“But he’s alive, he’. Please let me save you doll - come back with me. I know it will be different but -“

“Yes, please don't leave me again Stevie I cant - not again - I cant”

The blond just nodded in understanding, helping you to your feet.

“Is there anything you need to get?”

You shook your head, your engagement ring still shining on your finger as you grasped the two sets of dog tags around your neck.

Steve tilted his head to the side questioningly.

“Rebecca wanted Bucky’s, I couldn’t say no to her. I got to keep yours though - you can have them back if you want?”

“No need” he smiled, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand, “Let’s go”

You fell to your knees on a metal platform, Steve’s hand still resting on your shoulder.

“Steve what did you do?”

You ignored the unfamiliar voice as you looked up, eyes frantically searching for Bucky.

“Steve -”

You whipped around at the sound of his voice, “Buck”

You launched yourself at him immediately, the two of you crumbling to the ground in a messy embrace. Tears ran steadily down his cheeks as his hands ran over your figure, as if solidifying that you were really in front of him.

“Your hair is so long now” you giggled tearfully, stroking your hands through the silky strands, “and you have a beard!”

He laughed ruefully, searching your face quickly before burying his face back into your neck.

“I missed you babydoll” he whispered into your skin, tightening his arms around your waist, “I’m so sorry for everything”

Frowning, you cut him off, gently moving his face in front of yours and pulling him into a sweet, tender kiss.

“You have nothing to be sorry for James, nothing at all”

He looked down at your intertwined fingers, eyes drawn to the ring.

“You kept it”

“There was never gonna be anyone else Buck -”

“I know”

Averting your eyes from Bucky for a few seconds, you gestured for Steve to join the hug, your family unit complete.

“The three musketeers back together again” Steve smiled, leaning forwards so all three of your foreheads were touching.

“Punk”

“Jerk”

“Idiots”

[barnesandco]

Nikah: January

Story Masterlist

Nikah: noun, Arabic, meaning the contract of marriage.

Bucky marries Peter’s former tutor because her student visa’s about to expire and the government isn’t granting her a green card. Can she find a way to permanent residence by marriage, and if so, will it be at the cost of their hearts?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of grief, war.

A/N: Written under the Arranged/Accidental Marriage trope for @mermaidxatxheart ‘s writing challenge. This story will update on weekends, with two chapters each on Saturdays and Sundays. Tags are open, and for now I’m only tagging those on my permanent list. You can always let me know if you want to be added or taken off of something. I look forward to your comments and hope that you enjoy.

Bucky Barnes did not plan to start the new year as a married man. Not until three weeks ago, when this entire ordeal began. Yet here he is, a gold band on his prosthetic hand that is buried beneath the pillow under his head, while he watches his near-stranger bride sleep next to him. They’ve met in person a grand total of two times, the second being the marriage ceremony itself. Ceremony is an overstatement, he thinks. They eloped. Oh, if his ma could see him now. Bruised and war-torn, reborn from Hydra’s ashes with the marvel of Wakandan technology, married to a woman he hardly knows. And it’s all Peter Parker’s fault.

It had started with his silence. Slowly but surely, the youngest Avenger, known for his jubilant enthusiasm, had become unnervingly quiet. 

One week, and they begin to notice. Curious look and additional encouragements to involve him.

Two weeks, and they suspect he misses Tony more than usual. It’s been several months, but the grief comes and goes in waves. Laughter can turn quickly into tears. Bucky’s seen them smile at a joke and turn to the head of the table, or a corner of the room, looking for Tony or Nat’s response respectively, only for the smile to fall at the proof of their absence. They give him time, Sam gives him a talk, and Pepper, an invitation to lunch at the lakehouse.

Three weeks, and they return from a multiple-week mission and brake outside the kitchen like eavesdropping teenagers. The actual teenagers - Peter and Wanda - are inside discussing something. By the distress in Peter’s voice, it’s whatever’s been bothering him recently.

“-but if the student visa doesn’t expire for another year, why is she applying already?” Wanda’s asking from the stove, stirring a Sokovian soup. Peter puts a Tupperware container of extra chopped vegetables in the fridge. Leans on the marble countertop, sighing.

“She suspected that they might reject her. He PhD ends in June so she’s applying for a green card instead, but immigration policies are stricter now. Especially for people from Muslim countries, and she’s Pakistani. It isn’t fair,” He reiterates, tastes the soup. Anything to distract from his shaking hands. Wanda looks on worriedly. “I just mean- like- she’s been living here for almost ten years. She just wants to be a permanent resident. If they don’t let her, she’ll have to go back. She doesn’t want to, but she’ll have to,” He concludes, opening the tap and initiating clean-up.

“And she’s… important… to you,” Wanda states, looking over her shoulder, giving him room to elaborate.

“She helped me with English class and lit in middle school. She was there when Ben died, when Tony died, she’s just been constant, y’know?” He explains. Wanda puts down the wooden spoon, rests a hand on the counter and absorbs her friend’s morose expression.

“So now what?”

“There’s no way they’ll extend her visa. She’ll probably try again for a green card, but I don’t think it’ll work. If she had a steady job, she could apply for a work visa, but she’s freelance. The only other thing I can think of is marriage to a US citizen.”

He hopes it works. The marriage. Green card by family, by marriage, by him vouching for her. The ring is constricting around his finger, a heavy weight reminding of the sanctity of marriage, and how he’s breaching it. He wonders if she feels the same way. At present, she appears unperturbed, lying on her side facing him. The hand bearing the ring is in front of her face, resting on the pillow like a crown on its pedestal. The scarce daylight, just cloudy watercolor, tip-toes through the gap in his blackout curtains, casting a thing stream of moonlight across her face. Snow day.

They had barely made it to his apartment last night before the blizzard hit. She had been quiet then, even more so than now, when he can at least hear her sleep-steady breaths escape the cage built by the pink pillows of her lips. Eyelashes like snowflakes against the bags under her eyes. 

The mildly disturbing nature of his actions occurs to him, and he decides to stop. Gets out of bed and tenses when she shifts.  The duvet slides down, revealing her white night-gown. Bucky moves, steps as soft and sneaky as fog on the carpet, to her side. Lifts the duvet up to her ching, grazing her silk-clad shoulder in the process. A mumble, and he holds his breath, but thankfully, she stays asleep.

Shutting his - their - bedroom door behind him, he makes for the bathroom first. The shower is scalding hot, and his skin pinks quickly. The Wakandan shampoo is running out. He makes a note to ask Shuri for more, and thinks about what American item to send in return. Dunkin’ Donuts, perhaps. 

Coconut goes well with the raspberry scent of his new wife’s body wash, already embedded in the walls because she takes evening showers. Claims they help her sleep. It didn’t help last night, however, because she tossed and turned throughout, only coming to rest around three. Bucky didn’t fare any better, eyes shutting an hour later. 

He rinses his hair, the condensation from the steam on his arm washing off. Resumes his morning rituals - conditioner, shower gel, rinse, dry off. As he’s towelling himself dry, he takes in the evidence of her presence once again. The bottle of lotion on the vanity, the make-up removal wipes in the cabinet next to his shaving things. Like this is all perfectly normal.

It is, of course, everything but. You don’t marry someone you don’t know. The gravity of his actions tug on his stomach as he walks past the couch he offered to sleep on. He hadn’t wanted to make her uncomfortable, but she had vehemently refused to kick him out of his own bed. Said she would rather sleep in the snow outside. He’s sure she would have, too, given the excuse, and she would’ve melted the snow into steaming puddles around her, anger coming off red-hot like the sun’s rage.

He lights the stove and fetches the ingredients necessary for pancakes. Opens a recipe on his tablet. Never made them on his own a day in his life - Sam’s are better, but he’ll never tell him that. Something in him just wants to put her at ease. Anyone who cares to look past the stiff demeanor, the jasmine flower in her hair, the reluctant mehndi on her hands, the fire in her eyes, will see resentment. At the government, God, fate, destiny - all scapegoats to blame for putting her in this situation. For reducing her to getting married just to stay in the country she considers home.

Bucky is, too. Resentful, that is. What’s worse is, he doesn’t understand it. Doesn’t understand where the love went. Then he feels guilty, snorts at his own naivete, his blissful ignorance. Lover boy Bucky Barnes. He was never one for politics, he thinks, pouring the first pancake. What little he remembers of his youth wafts up; taking care of Becca, taking care of Steve, taking girls on dates, taking the ship to the war, taking out Nazis. Even in the trenches, where soldiers had a tendency to question Roosevelt, or cuss at Hitler, he’d order them to shut up and shoot. If us fellas were meant to do nothin’ but talk, we’d be in Congress already, but we ain’t. So quit blabberin’ and do your jobs.

The second pancake is on the platter. A door opens somewhere down the hall. He waits, still and patient, as footsteps enter the bathroom and the sound of his sizzling frying pan and running water washes out the anxiety of talking to her. He will have to, at some point or the other. They live together. She had suggested briefly that they not, hadn’t wanted to burden him, but he reminded her of his public image. People would most certainly notice if he wasn’t living with his wife, and then where would they be?

Said wife is now in the kitchen, wringing her hands, the glass bangles - chooriyan - chiming, and he pretends to be unaware. 

“James?” This plan doesn’t last very long, and he turns to see that she’s wearing what he would call a tunic if Peter hadn’t taught him it’s a kameez - he’s been giving him desi culture lessons - over a pair of jeans.

“Just Bucky, please. Mornin’. Sleep well?” He returns to the pancakes, blushing at his ineptitude. Tries to convince himself it’s okay, she’s an introvert, too. She’s uncomfortable around new people, too. The pancake tower is now five high.

“You should’ve woken me. Why are you making breakfast by yourself?” She ignores his question, a question he doesn’t know why he asked if he knows the answer to, and comes up to stand next to him at the counter.

“Why would I do that? I can cook, you know,” He says, only half in jest, the joke the first of the day, of the year, of their relationship. She smiles - a reward.

“Yeah, but still…” She trails off, then shakes away what’s troubling her. Bucky files that response under Things to Worry About Later. “I can see that you can cook. A little too well, it seems,” She laughs, gesturing to the sizable stack. “Can you eat five pancakes?” She asks with wonder.

“What do you mean?” 

“I can’t eat more than two, and you just flipped your seventh one, so that means you’ll have to-”

“Don’t worry. They’ll be gone before you can say super-metabolism,” He reassures, and she nods dubiously.

“Can I at least set the table?” Bucky looks at her, soft and kind and wise, wishes that she didn’t have to experience this. Forcing a marriage to stay in the place she loves. What has the world come to?

He shows her where the plates are, sets about pulling out various pancake toppings. Syrup, honey, berries, Nutella. She places the plates on the table, brings him the pot of coffee he forgot he made. Finally, they sit. Minutes of utensils colliding and the pancake stack diminishing pass before either of them say anything. She pours him coffee.

“Thanks. You didn’t pour any for yourself,” He says, frowning around a mouthful of blueberries. 

“I don’t drink coffee?”

“Tea?”

“Yeah, but-” Bucky begins to get up but she reaches for his hand, chooriyan clinking against the vibranium. “I don’t feel like it today,” She tells him, brushing a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

“You should’ve said something,” He says, upset at not being able to provide for a guest, the guest who’s going to be staying for a while. She shakes her head, spreads Nutella across her second pancake.

“It’s not that big a deal,” She laughs, cutting a piece. “Some days I feel like it and some days I don’t.”

“Okay.”

They finish breakfast in silence, and Bucky drinks more coffee than he should. She’s just picked up the dishes and is picking up a bottle of dish soap when Bucky opens the dishwasher and and takes both the dishes and the soap from her hands. Rinses and stacks them, then looks up at her as he’s drying his hands, still kneeling at the dishwasher. Observes the protest turn to surprise and then to veiled joy, and thinks: they might just make it through this.

Taglist:  @suz-123​ @mermaidxatxheart​ @buckyreaderrecs​ @shield-agent78​ @corneliabarnes​ @readerandcinephileingeneral​ @stevieboyharrington​ @notsomellowmushroom​ @veganfangirl5​ @mood-pancakes​ @lbuck121​

[shannygoatgruff]

My Brother’s Keeper - Chapter XIX

Genre: Psychological Thriller

Modern Ivar X Modern Hvitserk

Rating: MA+18

Overall Warning:  Dark story told from an emotionally distributed person’s POV with graphic and sadistic material including rape, terror, torture, kidnapping, drug use, slash, implied incest, necrophilia, and insecurity. Heavy trigger warnings.

Chapter Warning: Thoughts of murder.

A/N: So, I know I haven’t been posting much. Real life has been throwing some things my way and I haven’t felt much like writing. But, I finally finished this one. Just one more chapter after this one and it’s done! Whoot!!

Chapter XIX - Ivar’s POV

There’s something about the confident way she holds her head, with her chin stuck out and her shoulders back that draws a smirk to my lips. She’s proud – I wonder how long that will last. “Dr. Svensdottir, I presume?” Her small hand instantly disappears inside mine as her delicate fingers scrape against my palm. I would have thought a woman with such a presence would have a much firmer handshake. But, maybe playing coy is the way she tricks men into telling her what it is that she wants to know, “It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

With just the slightest bit of a nervous nod, her hand slides out from mine before she smooths her palm over the front of her skirt. What exactly is that little move about? Is she trying to wipe me off her hands or stop herself from sweating? “Please call me, Gert, Mr. Ragnarsson.” 

“Ivar,” I correct, dispensing with the formalities. The crease in her brow softens and her shoulders drop just a hint before she gestures for one of the two high back chairs on the opposite side of her desk. With a slow blink, I look from her outstretched hand to her choice of chairs before heading toward the other seating area. This area, presumably set up for therapy sessions, is more intimate. I like this space better, although it’s hideous. The oversized, ugly green chairs are placed close together, guaranteeing that we will be sitting next to each other, with no desk separating us. Don’t be afraid, Blondie. 

Unbuttoning my suit jacket, I take a seat on one of the green seats and casually cross my leg over my lap. Smiling, I turn to face her, “So, how’s our boy?”

The skirt she’s wearing is entirely too short to be professional. I wonder if this is how she tricks Hvitserk into talking about shit that he’s not supposed to, with the allure of sex. As her toned outer thigh exposes when she crosses her leg, my eyes can’t help but to drop to her left foot that shakes ever so slightly by her right calf. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Ivar. Hvitserk talks about you often.”

Oh, really? I wonder what my dear brother has told this whore about me. “All good things, I hope.” My cheeks ache from forcing a smile this wide. Anything to hide what I’m really feeling, which is more akin to reaching my hand between us and feeling her hyoid bone shatter beneath the weight of my thumb. “If they weren’t, I’ll have to blame it on his condition.” Careful, as not to make my laugh seem too forced, I chuckle easily and wipe my smile with the pad of my finger, before turning a more serious gaze on her. 

“Well,” she starts, choosing her words carefully, “you know that Hvitserk has been on a long and arduous road during his treatment. But,” she stammers quickly, looking up to make sure that she hasn’t completely turned me off before she’s gotten to the core of her argument, “he’s making tremendous progress.” Her lashes blink slowly over her large greenish-blue eyes.

Does this shit really work on the guys she meets? 

Feigning interest in this doctor is proving to be more difficult than I remember. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since I hunted, and I don’t have time for all the bullshit and games. Right now, I just want to do what I want to do and get it over with. Yeah, I’d like to enjoy the chase, but I can always enjoy the next one. I deserve this one. A quick kill, after all this damn time. Shit, especially this bitch? She owes this to me. But bitches like this…gotta make her fear me before I make her feel me. Fuck… “Has he, now? Does that mean that he’ll be able to come home soon?”

“Well,” Is she fucking smirking? “I’m afraid that Hvitserk won’t be able to leave here – not for a very, very long time.”

“Wait, you just said,” I sit up straighter and lean closer to her.

“I said he’s made progress, not that he’s ready to leave,” she interrupts. Her eyes suddenly drop back to her lap and she studies her nails, “Those are two very different things, I’m afraid. We’ve actually reached a breakthrough in his treatment. In fact, that is what I would like to speak with you about, today. Hvitserk’s treatment.”

 I’m going to kill her.

“Funny. I’ve been trying to talk to you about my brother for…months.” I feel the smile starting to spread across my lips. I know that I’m supposed to be here for Serk, but this bitch thinks she can outwit me. We need to establish the ground rules now, before she gets hurt.

Titling my head allows me to take in the slightest nuances of her expression. Like how her eyes enlarged just a smidge at my comment, and how hard she’s swallowing. God, her discomfort are dead giveaways - she doesn’t like being challenged.

“I’ve called and you’ve refused to talk to me. I’ve sent emails, which have gone ignored. I’ve come here and been turned away.” My voice remains even and calm, just to show that I pose no threat. Can’t have her scurrying off like a scared little rabbit, now can I? “It’s interesting to me that my brother has been here for almost 18 months and though I’m his Power of Attorney, this is the first conversation that you and I have had about him.” 

“I need you to understand that as Hvitserk’s therapist, I thought it best that he not have any outside distractions.” She blinks so much when she’s nervous. It’s comical to watch her try to choose her words so they don’t offend me.

What did you tell her about me, Serk? Did you tell her that I have a penchant for flaying skin layer by layer? Or that I like to put pretty women’s faces in jars? I have a spot on my new bookcase that her face would look lovely on. 

“Distractions?” I hope that didn’t sound how I meant it; like I want to take that stapler off the desk and bash her fucking face in. “I’m his only brother – I’m not a distraction.”

She shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts. She’s not used to not having the upper hand. This conversation isn’t going the way she’d hoped. “I didn’t mean that you would be a distraction. I only meant,” she looks up as if the words she needs are magically written on the drop ceiling, “he needs to fully concentrate on his treatment.”

“And what treatment is that, exactly?” I cross my legs and lean back in my seat. Show her that you’re relaxed. Don’t give her a reason to run. “That’s all I’ve been trying to find out – what is going on with my brother.” How does Hvitserk do it when he’s uncomfortable? Oh yeah, he drops his eyes and lowers his voice. He sounds desperate. “When they took us from the house, the police wouldn’t tell me anything about him. Everything was so sudden. It’s my job to protect him and I wasn’t there for him.”

Her legs uncross and she leans a little closer. This is what this bitch wants – she wants me to be vulnerable. Well hell, I can play along. Does she think this is a fucking therapy session? That’s she’s going to get some big insight on me? Oh blondie, you don’t want to see what’s behind this mask. “But, you were released?” 

A slight nod to the left and a shoulder raise adds to my innocence, “Of course I was released. I’m innocent - I didn’t do anything. The police found no evidence to connect me to any of Hvitserk’s crimes.” The stain on the carpet, is a good place focus my gaze. If she can’t see my eyes, she can’t tell what I’m thinking, and as long as they’re lowered I can tell her anything. “I found my brother with his fiancé in my bedroom. I didn’t even know about that reporter lady in the basement…” The head shake seals the deal, “I mean, I knew he was stressed and dealing with a lot of things, blacking out and the like. But, I never suspected he was capable of anything like this. He was always so sensitive and gentle. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t do enough. I should have seen the signs – gotten him help sooner.”

Her eyes are locked on me and mine briefly catch hers before I lower them back to the floor. “You mustn’t be too hard on yourself. You did the best you could for him. You protected him the best way that you knew how.” This is too fucking easy. “Were you at the trial?”

Picking at the threads on the chair, I feel my face drop in disappointment, before I offer a slight nod, “By the time he went to arraignment they were already talking about insanity.” I clear my throat and lift my voice to just above a whisper. I don’t want to show too much emotion. This bitch does this for a living and I can’t risk her seeing through my act, “He was so out of it at his trial I doubt that he even knows that I was there. I don’t know what kind of drugs you had him on, but he didn’t recognize me.”

“I didn’t start treating him until after he was brought to our facility,” she smooths a strand of lent off the end of her skirt, keeping her eyes trained on her lap again. I’m almost impressed with how easily she lies. She knows damn well she was treating him beforehand. I saw that bitch in the courtroom. I heard her testimony. And for shits and giggles, if I hadn’t every fucking thing she dosed him with is right there in that thick ass file on her desk. Does she know who she’s talking to? I invented this fucking game. “I do know that he was heavily medicated when he first came here. It took some time before I was able to get his medication regulated and for him to become stable. He no longer has to be sedated.”

“Sedated?”

“Um, yes,” she looks at me briefly before looking around the room again, “part of his treatment is immersion therapy. Sometimes the sessions can get rather intense. The only way to pull him out of it, is to sedate him. It’s really for his own good.” She licks her lips nervously, “He struggles so much with his past.” Though I offer a knowing nod, I wonder if she can tell that I’m about two seconds off of her. “You’ll be happy to know that he’s much more active and alert now that his medication is properly managed.”

Really? Because twice when I came here to get him, he was still a fucking zombie. In fact, the last time, he fucking refused. No explanation, no crying, and bullshit; no nothing. He just fucking refused to leave with me. So tell me, bitch, how much more active and fucking alert is he?

“That’s so good to hear,” I remember seeing him bleeding on the very spot I’ve been looking at for the past ten fucking minutes, while he looked up at me from this floor, when I was standing outside of that sliding glass door. Is that her idea of active and alert? “When I try to check on him, he refuses my calls. It’s like he doesn’t seem to know who I am anymore, or that he doesn’t want to be bothered. Almost like he doesn’t need me anymore.”

“Mr. Ragnarsson,” she pauses, “Ivar, I assure you, Hvitserk is doing much better now. He’s become quite well adjusted and acclimated with our program.” She walks over to her desk to grab his file. I don’t give a shit what’s in there. It’s all a bunch of lies, anyway. “He’s actively participating in individual and group therapy sessions, now. He’s even joined a few activities. He’s especially good at drawing, did you know that?” That fake modest smile is enchanting. I wonder if I could carve it on her face permanently. 

Drawing? Really? I’m supposed to be impressed because Serk can fucking draw? What the fuck is this whore talking about?

It’s laughable that she thinks all this progress Hvitserk has made is because of her. It’s a fucking joke. He hasn’t made any damn progress, it’s a fucking game. It’s all a part of my plan to get him the fuck out of here. He’s making progress because he’s not taking those fucking drugs anymore. He can finally fucking think in this fucking place and it’s only a matter of time before he walks out the front door with a trail of bodies behind him.

“Well, that’s wonderful. Then there should be no problem with me seeing him,” I try to keep my composure, but Gert gets on my fucking nerves. I just want to see my brother. “Is he going to join us?” I turn around and look at the door as if he’s going to come bounding through it at any moment.

As soon as I turn back to face her, I notice her crestfallen expression, “I don’t think that would be such a good idea, Mr. Ragnarsson.” She places a pair of black-rimmed glasses on her nose and opens the file as if she’s concentrating on the contents therein, “As I stated, Hvitserk has been making tremendous progress. He’s becoming an active participant in his recovery. He’s solely focused on the steps he needs to take to get well, and in a healthy place.”

I bite the inside of my bottom lip until I taste the coppery of blood in my mouth. The pain is the only thing keeping me glued to this seat at the moment, but I have no problem keeping my expression pleasant.

“What I mean by that is, currently, Hvitserk is concentrating on himself. He rarely talks about you anymore, or his past or the things that haunt him. He’s at a place where he’s looking forward to his future. I’m afraid,” she keeps her eyes trained on the file, “having a conversation with you would be a huge setback for him.” She fishes out a sheet of paper and leans over to hand it to me.

I would concentrate on how much her hand is shaking and how the way the paper gently rocks as it extends toward me, but I’m far more interested in the just how tightly she’s clutching the top of it in her hand. Her knuckles are almost white, she’s gripping it so tightly. Just to fuck with her, I grab the paper close to where her hand is, and let my fingers brush her knuckle. 

I look at her, unmoved, then let my eyes roam over the contents of the paper now in my hands. 

It’s a letter in Hvitserk’s handwriting.

“Is this mine?” I ask, folding the letter in half, ready to stuff it in the inside pocket of my jacket. I watch her nod. “If this is truly what Hvitserk wants, then I won’t stand in the way of his treatment. I just ask that you keep me updated with any changes to his condition.” I go to stand and watch as the doctor stands as well. I extend my hand to her and watch the way she considers taking it, “I apologize if I have seemed overbearing or bothersome, Doctor. I am just concerned about my brother.”

She smiles and nods her head in agreement, “I completely understand, and it’s not a bother. In fact,” she shakes my hand with both of hers, “it was nice to finally meet you. Hvitserk had talked about you so much I felt like I knew you. I’m sorry this was the outcome, but I really do think it’s for the best for his treatment. Maybe later, after he’s made more progress, we can try to start introducing you into some sessions, but for now…”

I wave her off with the slight of my hand, “Whatever he needs. I would never deny him anything.” 

It takes everything I have not to burst out in a fit of laughter. This fucking doctor doesn’t know who she’s dealing with. Hvitserk isn’t fucking cured, he’s biding his fucking time. 

Let’s meet somewhere quiet, a place just for us? Maybe we could get some friends together and have a party? Yeah okay, Serk…I know exactly what you’re saying.

It’s been too fucking long, and these motherfuckers are playing with fire. Just so happens that I’m gasoline and you’re the lit match. 

I can’t wait to watch this motherfucker burn! 

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[omi-ohmyimagination]

Undercover (1/3)

Part: 1 (of 3)

Themes: Mature, CEO AU, Spy, Mafia, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Romance, Mention of suicide, Sexual harassment, Violence, Optional Bias x Female Reader

Word count: 31,636

Description: Your whole life is full of lies, secrets and shady people. Only one thing is sure - when money is involved, nothing else matters. Anything goes. But when you meet your new target - unreachable, cold and damaged man, so painfully similar to you, things start to look a little bit different. What if you don’t want to live undercover anymore?

OMI’s note:  Woah, here it is - first part of Undercover. Fixed and obviously in new form. Some parts stayed the same, some are changed in a very slight way, some more. Overall, it looks better in my opinion and I hope you guys will enjoy it. Before I leave you with this long text, I just want to say that writing second part might take a bit of time, so I will probably upload something else in the meantime. So yeah, I hope you will like this “new” Undercover.

Before you entered a building hidden in a dark alley, you looked around to make sure that no one saw you. You pushed heavy metal door and immediately blinked because of a bright light.

“Geez, Sam, change these fucking bulbs. How do you even work here,” you said, protecting your eyes with the hand. You came closer to a huge desk in the corner of a room and sat on it. Sam looked up from papers that he was reading and flashed charming smile at you. His black hair fell on his glasses and you lazily pushed them up. He was handsome, you couldn't deny it, handsome nerd who didn't really know anything other than his work, and who should have probably chill sometimes. However, it was too weird to get involve in any type of relationship other than the one you already had. You liked him as a friend, and ruining it with one-time sex wasn't something you wanted to do.

“I got used to it. Besides, you come here once or twice in a month so you can handle them,” he laughed, nudging your thigh with his elbow. “I got something for you.”

“I'm sure you do, you wouldn't call me if there was no new work.”

“True. Here, this is a full file about your new target and his company,” he said, handing you pretty thick folder.

“Damn, there's a lot.”

“He's quite... famous,” he paused for a moment and looked at papers in your hand. His voice was laced with hesitation and, in some weird way, it made you anxious. “Well, go into boss' office. He wants to tell you all the details about his plan. He should be here in ten minutes.”

“You're throwing me out already? I thought you missed me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I did, but I also have a lot of things to do and, knowing you, you won't shut up.”

“Rude,” you whined, hitting his shoulder. He chased you out with a smile on his lips, so you got up lazily and headed to the other room.

When you entered it, suffocating smell of lilies hit your nose instantly. You shuddered in disgust. Whenever you came here, you always wondered why Kyo liked it so much. You asked him about it a few times, but he never gave you a clear answer. For you, it wasn't even close to being pleasant, it reminded you of funerals, and that was something you hated more than anything.

You fell on a chair and hid your nose in a t-shirt. Uh, Kyo, you better move your ass before I suffocate here.

You looked around bored but there was nothing interesting - white walls, closets full of papers and big mahogany desk at the center. Empty as always. Kyo loved to keep his surrounding clean, at least that was what he told you once. You sighed and decided to open the file that Sam gave you a few minutes ago. You gasped shocked when you saw the name written at the first page.

“Fucking B/N B/L/N,” you half screamed, sitting straight. You flipped through the pages in disbelief. “What the fuck? Are you in your right state of mind, you bastard?”

That must have been a joke. Kyo wanted you to spy on one of the richest businessmen in the whole country, which was more than unbelievable for you. You couldn't even imagine how you were supposed to do this, that guy was probably with bodyguards all the time. You hoped that it was some kind of mistake.

The door suddenly opened and you lifted your gaze. Kyo smiled, which made wrinkles around his eyes deepened, “Long time no see, Y/N.”

“What is this,” you said, raising the file in the air.

“So you already know who is your next target.” Kyo sat on his leather chair and smiled even more.

“My target? I will be their fucking target, if they find out that I'm spying on him!”

“They won't, Y/N. I prepared perfect plan and I can guarantee that you will be safe. Don't worry.” You looked at him suspiciously. You didn't doubt him, he always did great job but... you were a bit uneasy. No matter what, this case seemed harder than everything you did combined. “I kept an eye on him for some time now. I was waiting for a perfect timing to finally make a move and an opportunity came two days ago. He's desperately looking for a personal assistant and you, my dear, have the best qualifications for this job.”

You chuckled amused, “Me?”

“Of course. Why? Didn't you work for the richest man in Japan a year ago?” Kyo looked at you surprised.

“What are you... oh no, you didn't.” You sat there with opened mouth, utterly shocked. In the past he faked your identity a few times, but it was always something minor like name or date of birth, he never did anything more than this. Especially not something involving outsiders. “What if they contact him?”

“He will tell them, and I'm quoting, oh yes, she was excellent in her job, I've never worked with someone this competent; such a shame that she came back to her homeland. Believe me, it wasn't hard to convince him to cooperate.”

“You threatened him?” Your eyes widened in shock.

“You shouldn't worry about it. The point is that he will say what I want him to say.”

You ran hand through your hair in frustration. “Okay fine, but what if it doesn't work out? What if they choose someone else?”

“It will work out. I checked every girl that applied, and they are nowhere near your achievements. In two days you will be B/N's assistant and you will begin to spy on him. I don't know, you can gain his trust somehow, become his friend or some shit, and then he will tell you all his secrets. From what I've heard, he only acts tough, but actually he's easy to manipulate. And you're the champ of manipulation, my dear.”

“It's risky as fuck, Kyo. If he finds out, he will kill me, let's be honest.”

“Don't be so dramatic. How many times did you escape the death already?”

You looked at him with squinted eyes. “Many. Too many for my age. But this situation is different.”

“It just another job, Y/N,” he said, shaking his head in annoyance.

You sighed, knowing that there was no point in arguing with him. If Kyo wanted something, he got it. Whatever the cost. “And what are we looking for exactly?”

“I can't really tell you.”

“What,” you gasped. Kyo never hid anything from you, especially if it was about the case you were working on. That was something new, and you didn't like it.

“All you need to know is that we have information that he's making illegal transactions. And we need to put an end to this. I'm counting on you, Y/N.”

Every time you stopped your car at the traffic lights, your gaze wandered to the folder placed on the passenger seat. It was obviously only your imagination but you could have sworn that it was surrounded by a black smoke. Almost like a bad omen.

You laughed. There was probably no reason to worry so much about it, but so far life taught you to doubt everything and everyone. Especially when they tried to hide something from you. And Kyo was definitely doing this.

When you parked outside your apartment complex, you grabbed the folder and almost ran to your flat. You were curious what information Kyo was able to gather, and how your new life looked like.

It was a long process. Every new case took a lot of time to learn about, and this one wasn't different. However, there was less about B/N himself than you expected. Pages and pages about the company's history, its purpose, and stuff that bored the hell out of you.

Information about B/N were mostly general, and you were almost a hundred percent sure that you could have found them online. Doesn't keep people around – even his own family, doesn't engage in relationships, cold, harsh, determined. The most typical characteristics of a CEO. But there was also a note left by Kyo, the one he mentioned during your meeting: acts tough but is easy to manipulate; even the slightest trace of challenge keeps him interested.

And that was all you needed.

You stepped out of your car in front of a huge glass building. You looked up and gasped amazed. From a far it didn't look so massive, but up close it was enormous, you couldn't even see the highest floor. You took a deep breath, straightened up your gray pencil skirt and moved to the entrance. You tried to recall once again every achievement and information about your life before you reached a reception.

An older woman in white dress looked at you and smiled friendly. “Hello, how can I help you, miss?”

“Yes, hello,” you said slightly nervous, “I'm here for a job interview for a position of Mr. B/L/N's assistant.”

“Oh yes, okay. You need to go on the left here and there is a room number fifteen. You will find it easily, there are quite a few girls there already,” she replied. “But firstly, can I get your name?”

“Y/N Y/L/N”

“Thank you so much. I wish you good luck.”

You bowed lightly and moved in given direction. There was, indeed, rather big group of women. All dressed in formal skirts or dresses, some older than you were expecting but all visibly nervous. You, on the other hand, weren't nervous, you were terrified. Your hands were sweating and trembling uncontrollably.

You looked around, taking a better glance at the women's faces. All of them seemed to be from rather wealthy families, dressed in designer clothes, and with perfectly done make-ups. You chuckled mad. They had no reason to be so anxious, the worst that could have happened to them was leaving this place without a job. And even if this happened, their fathers would have probably patted their heads and gave them a position in their own companies. You on the other hand, could end up in jail, in the best scenario, if something went wrong.

The door opened and a girl with shiny eyes left the room.

“How was it? Any better,” other asked.

“No, it was... terrible,” she said. She was trembling and it was obvious that she would start crying soon. “He asked me so many things, some of them rather weird. And he judged my answers so rudely. Even if they want me to work here, I would never accept their offer.” You would have felt sorry for her, if she didn't sound so bossy about it. She was young, probably younger than you, and looking at her reaction, she probably never was in situation like this. In contrast to her, during your whole life you met so many aggressive, vulgar and insolent people that the guy in the room was most likely nothing compared to them. Your only wish was not to be exposed.

It took longer than you've expected. After another hour there was only few women left, others marched out of the building with heads raised high, discouraged by the job interview. You were sitting there amazed because Kyo's plan started to look reasonable now. Somehow he must have known what type of women would be here and how demanding the interview would be.

If only they wouldn't find out that you're a scammer, you have won.

The last girl left the office and tall man appeared behind her. He was dressed in tailored suit, and his black hair was slicked back. He was handsome but also looked cold and strict. He seemed like someone who had no barriers, and would ask you about every intimate detail of your life. And that was probably right, judging from conversations you heard in the past two hours.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” he said in a low voice, looking around.

You got up. “It's me.”

“Come in, please.” He moved inside the room and stand beside the table, extending his arm. “I'm Jiho Park, vice-ceo and person responsible for B/N's personal crew. Please sit.” You sat across him and tried to look professional. “Miss Y/L/N, I checked your qualifications and I must say, they are pretty impressive. I didn't think that someone with such experience will come here today,” he continued impressed. “To be honest, it's actually beyond my expectations.”

All your dark thoughts left you immediately after his words, they didn't suspect anything and it looked like they wanted you to work for them. You noted in your mind to congratulate Kyo for creating your new life.

“I have only a few questions for you. Some of them might be rather personal but I hope you understand.” He waited for your approval, and when you nodded, he asked, “Can you tell me if you're involved in any relationship?”

“No, I'm not and answering your next question, I'm not planning to be in the near future. I want to focus on my career now.”

“Good,” he said and wrote something on a piece of paper he held in his hand. “So I assume that you don't have children, right?”

“That's correct. In fact, I don't want to have them at all.”

“I see. And was there anything you found hard to do while working for Mr. Aki?”

“Besides my fear of not understanding Japanese,” you joked, remembering Kyo's words. “Not really. I learn rather quickly and I know how to adjust to my boss' lifestyle and schedule.”

“And can you tell me why you left that work?” You looked at Jiho with wide eyes. Oh. My. God. Kyo, you dumbass. You forgot the most important thing. Your heart sped. It wasn't happening. How did he come up with useless stories from your life but forgot something so important? You tried to regain your composure and stop your trembling fingers.

“I...,” you stuttered. You had no other choice as to expose the piece of your true life. It wasn't something you liked to talk about, fuck, it was the one thing you wished you would never have to talk about again, but there was no time to come up with something good in this situation. “My mother tried to commit suicide and someone needed to be close to her. I couldn't count for my alcoholic father so there was no other choice for me. I was supposed to come back to Japan but unfortunately, she did it again. Successfully this time. It was really hard for me.” You felt tears in corners of your eyes. You tried to wipe them away secretly but failed. Jiho handed you a tissue which you gladly accepted. “I'm sorry, it's still hurts.”

“No, it's okay. I should be sorry for bringing painful memories,” he said with blank expression. “I think we can finish now. I don't really want to torture you here, miss. Please wait outside, I will inform you about the results in half an hour.”

You left the room with a bow and quickly got out of the building, ignoring looks and questions from women waiting outside. You searched your bag with trembling hands and pulled out pack of cigarettes. You lit up one and inhaled deeply. I will fucking kill you, Kyo. That was the only thing about your life that you hated talking about. Your mother's topic was too painful to bring up. After so many years, it hurt the same. The fact that she decided to end her miserable life with alcoholic and abusive husband and left you - twelve years old child with him made you more than mad. She ran away from pain, constant fighting and poverty and left it all to you to deal with. You were just a child - lonely, hurt, unloved. It was unbelievably hard to survive. You hated your father from the moment you understood what an evil man he was. And then your mother killed herself and even though you understood her, you hated her for what she did, too. You had no one, you were alone on this planet.

You threw the rest of the cigarette in the bin and sprayed perfume all over yourself. You entered the building and stopped in the lobby where you could still see the door you left some time ago. You didn't want to listen to all the questions from the rest of the girls. It was the first and the last time you ever saw them, they didn't matter to you and you didn't want to explain yourself to them. You looked up and spotted Jiho with another man. He was standing with his back to you but you could clearly see that he was more muscular and a bit taller than Jiho. You nodded your head slightly when your eyes met with Jiho's.

And then the other man turned around and you froze. It was him. B/N. He looked at you with piercing eyes, making you shuddered. You were amazed, he looked better than on the photos, almost like a sculpture made by God himself. His facial features seemed so sharp that it was unbelievable, slightly longer hair was a little messy and suit hugged his body perfectly, highlighting its athletic form. He was attractive. Even more - he was damn sexy. You looked into each others eyes for a few seconds, then he said something to Jiho and disappeared in an elevator behind him.

You released a breath that you held and glanced at Jiho again. He smiled softly at you and moved to the stairs. You followed his every move with your eyes and when he stood in front of you, you clenched your teeth in anticipation.

“Congratulation, Miss Y/N. You got this job.”

You were bored. Well, bored was a bit of an understatement. Since you got accepted into the company a week ago you spent all your time with Anna - B/N's secretary, who introduced you to company's structure, your duties and all those not-so-interesting aspects of being a personal assistant. As for you, simple you need to do whatever B/N's wants you to do would be enough, you were not particularly interested in company's history, which you already knew thanks to Kyo, and what B/N liked or didn't like.

B/N. Since that day when you entered his company for the first time, you didn't see him again. It bothered you more than you wished it would. You were wasting your time here, literally risking your life, and he didn't show up even once.

And Kyo wasn't helping at all. He made it even worse. After you pointed out his small mistake, as he called it, he nagged you every single day. He was weirdly demanding, as never before, and when you asked him about the reason behind it, he yelled at you, telling you that you should have focus on your work. With each passing day it felt more and more suspicious but you couldn't figure out why exactly.

"B/N starts his day at 10am and you're obliged to greet him and present him his schedule as soon as you see him. I'm preparing this so you don't need to worry about it. Clear," Anna asked once again, interrupting your thoughts.

You rolled your eyes. "You're telling me this for the fifth time today. Anna, I'm not stupid, I know how it works - I do whatever he wants."

She sighed. "I know, Y/N. I'm just stressed, that's all."

"Why? I should be the stressed one."

"And I don't know why you're not," she snapped, hanging her head low. "Sorry. You know, he's very demanding and you're not the first one to get this position. There were a lot of girls before you and they didn't last longer than a week. And I'm the one who's doing this job after they ran off crying! I can't keep up with everything."

Oh no. Don't open up to me. We will never be friends. I gonna vanish as soon as I get what I want.

"Do I look like those girls to you? I can handle a lot, believe me."

Anna looked at you with hope in her eyes. She smiled softly and stood up suddenly, clapping her hands. "I hope I can trust you, Y/N. For now, we're done with boring stuff. Today's gonna be your first day with B/N. Here," she said, handing you a piece of paper. "This is his schedule for today, read it - especially those additional notes I've left for you, I will be doing this for some time to help you. He will be here in fifteen minutes so go down and wait for him at the reception."

You blinked a few times confused. Just a minute before she was almost crying and now she was sending you off. She seemed convinced that you're not going to betray her and in some way it hurt you. She was nice, maybe even too nice. She was actually the first person in a long time that was kind to you. It felt unfamiliar but pleasantly at the same time. It was hard to admit but deep down you knew that hurting her, would hurt you a bit too.

You took B/N's schedule from her and got into the elevator. Ride down was long, and you took that time to read the plan over and over again. Ten minutes later you had B/N's schedule memorized perfectly. Two hours of preparing, few hours of meeting and lastly dinner with guy called Lee. For a second you were disappointed, nothing in Anna's notes seemed like it could be something suspicious but then you thought of an opportunity to finally look into his office, and smile danced on your lips. For the past week, Anna was constantly around you, and even though B/N wasn't in his office, you had no chance to sneak there.

"So you're here," someone said in a deep, husky voice. You looked up and saw B/N in another perfectly tailored suit. His hair was pushed back, head tilted to the side and arms folded. He was looking at you, trying to appear disinterested but you noticed a gleam of interest in his eyes. It was the first time you saw him from this close and you had to admit – he was indeed hella attractive.

You raised one eyebrow. "I was supposed to be here? I don't know what's so weird about it."

"Well, I thought you will quit after like three days? Too many duties or something." He leaned in your direction so close that you felt his hot breath on your face. He smirked when you didn't flinch, and then reached his arm behind you, pressing the button to call the elevator. He looked you straight in to the eyes as if challenging you.

"Maybe you should stop thinking," you said with a fake smile, moving even closer to him. His smirk disappeared from his face, and he slightly squinted his eyes. He tried so hard to hide his shock but it was useless. He was about to say something when the elevator opened and a group of people got out of it. He stepped aside and greeted them back rather harshly. You walked inside quickly and looked at him. "Are you coming?"

He didn't answer and followed you, closing the door right in front of someone's face.

"You have a meeting at noon and then a dinner with Mr. Lee at 4pm. So, we have something around two hours to prepare for it. Anna left all the documents on your desk. She said you need to read it and decide if you agree with all the statements included there." You looked at B/N and caught him staring at you. "What? Is something unclear?"

"Your attitude," he said, now visibly stunned.

"Well, I'm probably not your typical assistant. Let's say that I'm kind of special."

He was confused. From the moment he saw your face, he was almost a hundred percent sure that you were only a pretty face. Your experience? Probably gained through bed, nothing more. But now you were explaining to him pros and cons of the transaction he was about to sign and you unexpectedly looked like you knew what you were talking about. And that situation in front of the elevator? None of the girls before you were this cheeky and confident. He was amazed and kinda mad. It made him feel smaller. No one ever mocked him like that, no one was brave enough to do it.

And then, there were you. Apparently not just a pretty face.

You put the papers down and stood up to move around a little bit. You were pissed. Almost two hours and nothing out of normal. Simple, legal contract with similar company. You were hoping to get a chance to look into other stuff inside B/N's office while he studied this deal, but apparently he was an idiot. Or maybe he wanted to test you. You didn't know, and didn't really care.

You sighed loudly and looked at the clock. "You should get up and go to the conference room, meeting's gonna start in ten minutes. I noted everything we talked about if you forget something." B/N glanced at you and nodded. You noticed that his tie was a little bit crooked so you moved in his direction and bent down to fix it. He looked at you confused. "Try to look professional," you mumbled, too focused on your task to register another man walking into the room.

You heard someone's clearing their throat. You looked up and saw Jiho with raised eyebrows.

"Am I disturbing you?"

"In what," you asked without thinking.

"I'm not sure, Y/N," he said, looking at you and then at B/N. You turned your head and met B/N's wide eyes just a few centimeters from yours.

"Oh this. I'm trying to fix his tie. Wait..." You let go of the silky material and folded your arms. "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing in particular."

"Jesus Christ, you both should stop thinking." Jiho tilted his head intrigued. "Don't worry about it. As regards the meeting, we looked at every damn point in these documents. I wrote notes beside the points that are questionable and should be discussed. Also, remember that you both have meeting with Mr. Lee at 4pm at restaurant called Rose-something. Doesn't really matter, your driver knows the address. Good luck, I will be with Anna, I guess," you said with a smile and left the room.

"What the fuck," Jiho asked confused.

"I have no idea." B/N was looking at the closed door amazed. He still felt hot where your fingers accidentally touched his skin. He tried to brush it off, but he couldn't deceive his own body. It was just a simple touch, and yet he felt it in his abdomen. "She's pissing me off, man. I thought she's another stupid girl but no. She's too confident, and she's challenging me. Me, for fuck's sake! Can you believe it?"

Jiho laughed. "Sounds familiar to me.”

“Don't fuck with me.”

“I wouldn't dare. But you need to watch out for her, you know that right?”

“Yeah, I do. She's gonna be a pain in the ass. She already irritates me, and I was with her for two hours.”

“I feel like it can be quite funny,” Jiho smirked, dodging a pen that B/N threw at him.

"Shut up. Mark my words Jiho, I'm gonna break her. I'm gonna make her life look like a fucking nightmare."

After B/N left his office with Jiho next to him, smile formed on your lips. And when Anna said she was going for lunch, you were practically jumping from happiness. Finally, you had a chance to sneak into B/N's office. You've waited for this whole week, week full of Kyo's nagging and screams.

Knowing that there were no cameras on this floor, you marched into your desired destination, whistling under your nose. You sat on B/N's chair, sighing deeply.

“What can you possible hide here, loser,” you mumbled, opening one of the drawers. You quickly searched through its content, checking if there was no secret compartment. You did the same with the rest of them, and to your disappointment, you found nothing. Every damn paper was useless, and definitely didn't contain anything illegal.

That was not what you were looking for.

Irritated, you left his office and wrote quick message to Kyo, informing him that you found nothing in B/N's stuff, and asking him if there was a different place to search.

The answer you received was not something you've expected.

His mind.

You lived through hell. Your life was a constant fight, either with memories or people around you. Until now, you thought that there was nothing more that could make you so stressed and tensed. And yet, there you were. Third week in your search and no result. Not even the smallest suspicious thing about B/N. You were done already, done with playing good little assistant, done with listening to Kyo's accusations and weird ideas, done with this whole fucked up situation.

That was why you made plans for the night. For the first time in a long time. You needed some relief, and you needed it fast.

This day seemed to be especially long, longer than usual. You were looking at papers that Anna gave you but you didn't absorb any of the information. You tried to focus, you did, but your mind was somewhere else. You were thinking of your date. You were so excited to leave the office and finally got laid that nothing else mattered. Mere fact that you found someone this fast - someone incredibly hot, by the way - was exciting. Those days you were like a slave: trapped in the company for long hours, following B/N like a shadow, and being at his beck and call. That was nothing like how you've imagined this job - you thought that after almost a month of working for him, you would have enough material to ruin him. Not really. It was almost like there was nothing to find on him. But then why would you be there, spying on him?

You glanced at your phone for the thousandth time to check the hour.

“You're really impatient today,” Anna blurted finally.

“Hm? Oh yeah, that's because I have plans.”

Anna leaned her head on interlocked fingers. “What kind of plans made you this worked up?”

“I might get finally laid tonight,” you answered with a smile.

“Well, that explain a lot,” she laughed. “Is he nice?”

“Nice is a bit of understatement.”

You were about to describe how hot the guy was when B/N stood in front of both of you. You didn't even notice when he left the elevator but as soon as you glanced at him, the grip on the pen you were holding tightened.

“I want you to do reports of my two last meetings, Y/N.”

“Okay, I will do them tomorrow,” you mumbled, not looking at him.

“No,” he hissed. “I want them on my desk tomorrow morning.”

You raised your gaze. “That's not... possible. I can't do this today. I have...”

“Do I look like I care? If I don't have them in the morning, you're fired,” he announced and left you in disbelief.

You hit your head on the desk with a groan.

“This fucker.”

The company was almost dead when you returned from the shop. You were horny, that was a fact but you wouldn't dare to risk your mission just because of this. You smiled sadly to the security guard and headed to your desk. When you plopped down on the chair, you took your phone out and wrote quick apology to the guy you were supposed to meet.

At the back of your head there was a thought that B/N did it on purpose. When you thought about that whole situation you could have sworn that he must have heard you, and decided to ruin your plans. He was that kind of man - he would probably do everything to ruin your mood. And maybe even your life. But was he so different from you? You were doing exactly the same.

You started reading the overview of one of the meetings when your phone rang. Without looking at the screen, you answered it. “Yes?”

“Y/N, nice to finally fucking hear you.”

“What do you want, Kyo,” you asked annoyed.

“And what I might want? Information, for fuck's sake. You didn't report me anything since last week.”

“Because there's nothing to report. Nothing's happening here. Or at least - nothing shady. It's so boring that I might throw up from boredom soon. Right now, I'm stuck with some fucking reports because B/N is a pain in the ass. You know where I was supposed to be? In a bed. With a dick inside me! Not in the office!” You were close to screaming. It was all Kyo's fault. All.

Bitterness welled up in you in a past few days and you couldn't deal with it anymore. You felt similar only once - when your mother killed herself and left you alone. You were lost, confused and lonely. You wandered around the town for days, hungry and cold, without any hope. And then Kyo found you. You ran away from him but eventually came back, he was the only one who offered you help. Oh, if only you knew back then how much his help cost. Sometimes you wished that you never met him. There wouldn't be any problems if you were dead.

But your relationship with him was never this bad. Since the day one he acted in a weird way, yelling at you every time he called you. He wasn't like this before. There was certainly something about this case that made him so mad, and you were ready to find out what was it.

“Oh, so you're doing reports. About what?” He ignored your outburst completely as if he didn't really care about your feelings. Maybe he didn't.

“About nothing. Stupid meetings he had yesterday.”

“And you didn't tell me about them. I send you a message and you ignored it.”

“That's because you're writing to me every day,” you shouted. “If I had anything interesting to tell you, I would call you. But I have nothing. Zero. I'm starting to think that this is some kind of sick game. This guy seems clean, Kyo. I can't find anything.”

“Maybe you fucked up,” he said.

Your grip on the phone tightened. “What the hell does it mean?”

“Exactly what you think. Maybe he knows that you're spying on him, maybe you're not this good.”

“Don't make me laugh, if that's the case, you're the one who should be blamed for this. After all, you were the one who created my life. If there's anything suspicious, that's on you,” you muttered through the clenched teeth. “You're pissing me off right now, so get lost.”

You were mad, bewildered and most importantly, disappointed. It wasn't like you could call Kyo your family, but he was close to you. You were ready to risk your miserable life for him, which you were basically doing, and it seemed that he didn't really care about you. He was nothing more than a burden to you right now. He turned into a completely different person, and that fact scared you.

When B/N entered the company, he was almost entirely sure that you didn't listen to him yesterday. He was ready to fire you. And he would do that with pleasure. He tried so many things, so many dirty tricks to discourage you, and no matter what, you stayed with him. Sometimes he thought that you might have been a masochist, you were okay with pretty much everything.

He got out of the elevator, and to his surprise, he saw you sleeping with your head on the desk.

“What is happening here,” he asked Anna as soon as he approached both of you.

“I found her like that. The security guard told me she spent whole night working.”

B/N looked at you stunned. Your hair was tangled, clothes wrinkled, and you still held pen in your hand. He wasn't prepared for that, he could have expected everything from you but not this. You were always dissatisfied with everything, you hated him, and he could have sworn that you wanted to quit this job. And yet, you obeyed him again, even if that meant interference in your personal life.

“Sent her to me when she wakes up,” he said, still looking at you.

He sat on his chair and closed his eyes. Feeling of annoyance washed over him. You irritated him, that was the truth, but he couldn't deny the fact that you turned him on. You were pretty, always dressed in tight pencil skirts, with cheeky smile on beautiful lips that he wanted to wipe off roughly. Even your attitude toward him was alluring. No other woman in his life made such snappy comments about him, no women resisted his person for so long. You were a true mystery for him, and with each passing day, he wanted to learn more and more about you.

If he thought about it, he was quite similar to you. You were both tied up by work, without a lot of free time to meet your needs. Idea of hooking up with you crossed his mind, but he dismissed it as fast as it appeared. He wasn't that crazy yet. He never slept with his subordinates, he never even thought about it, yet you made him this desperate. And he hated it.

Quiet knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Yes?”

“It's me,” you yawned, rubbing your eyes with a hand and smudging your mascara in the process. Somehow, it looked adorable for him. “I have those damn reports you wanted.” You put stack of papers on his desk and yawned once again.

“You were here all night?”

“And how does it look to you? Yep, I was. And I'm sore as hell, those chairs are really uncomfortable.”

“Go home,” he said without thinking. He blinked a few times, shocked at his own words.

You raised your gaze completely dumbfounded. “Are you trying to say that I'm fired? What the heck? I did what you asked, what are you...”

“That's not what I meant,” he stood up rapidly, suddenly scared that you could leave. “I just want you to go home and get some rest. That's all.” His voice became almost inaudible at the end of the sentence. He couldn't believe that he said that, normally he wasn't like this.

You were staring at him in silence, and he didn't know what to do. It was something new for him, he didn't act nicely on daily basis. Honestly, he didn't act nicely at all. Especially towards you.

“You want me to rest today?”

“Yeah, and you better get out of here before I change my mind.”

You leaned in his direction with curiosity in your eyes. “You sure you're not the one that should get some time off?”

“Y/N. Get. Out.”

“Okay, okay. Thanks... I guess.”

He watched you as you were leaving his office, and when the door closed behind you, he dropped down on his chair again.

He was crazy.

You made him crazy.

You weren't sure what happened but you gladly accepted B/N's offer. Not because you were tired - you handled far worse things - but because you needed some time to understand the situation you were in. Maybe if your mind wasn't filled with the memory of conversation with Kyo, you would have thought more about B/N's behavior. But that wasn't important for you now, you didn't care about him that much. He was just a pawn in Kyo's game.

You took your phone out and dialed first number on your contact list.

Almost immediately you heard man's voice. “What's up, sweety?”

“I'm on my way to you, Markus. You need to help me.”

“Sure, I'm waiting.”

When you entered a code to Markus' house, and stepped inside, scent of food filled your nose right away. You moved your body in the direction of his office where you found Markus, sitting in his usual spot - in front of two big computer screens.

“Hey bro,” you began, grabbing a slice of pizza from the table.

“Hey. Wait a moment, okay?”

“Mhm,” you mumbled with mouth full of dough. You dragged a stool from the corner and sat beside the man. He was furiously typing something on the keyboard, looking with squinted eyes at the green text on the screen. You've known him almost your whole life, watched so many times how he worked, yet you still didn't understand a thing. He tried to explain to you, step by step, how he hacks into people's files but it still didn't make any sense to you.

But it didn't really matter. You had your own ways to find information.

“Gotcha,” he laughed and turned to you. “So, what's going on?”

“Well,” you swallowed the last bit of pizza and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, “I need you to hack into Kyo's computer.”

In a flash he became serious. “What?”

You sighed deeply. “You know that I'm spying on B/N but the thing is, there's nothing on this guy. I can't find any proof that he's involved in any kind of illegal stuff. I even feel a bit bad about doing this, and that's something. In addition, Kyo's mad at me for everything. He wants me to report every damn thing about B/N. And I don't see any sense in this! Something's off, bro. I feel it and I want to know what is going on.”

“That's gonna be risky.”

“I know but... I can't... yeah, I feel like I can't trust Kyo anymore.”

You were late, and that made B/N furious. He was spinning in his chair, waiting for you to finally arrive. He gave you a day off, that was true, but it was only one day. He couldn't believe you had the nerve to test his patience like that. Maybe he was nice yesterday but that was a one-time situation. At least that was what he hoped for. He still didn't understand why he has acted like that. He didn't have soft heart, it wasn't the case. It was only a fleeting kindness. That's how he explained it to himself.

The door suddenly opened without a knock.

“Sorry for being late,” you squeaked when you entered his office. You tried to fix your skirt stealthily, but B/N didn't miss that small move.

“Why weren't you on time?”

“I was kinda busy last night,” you answered straight away.

His hand closed into a fist. “You were busy. With what?”

“That's not really your business.”

“Ha,” he scoffed. “Get on with the job already or I will kick you out.”

You blinked a few times, turned around without a word, and bumped into Jiho who was standing behind you. “Sorry,” you murmured and left the room, leaving the two men alone.

“You argued again.” It sounded more like a statement, not a question. Jiho sat on the chair across and took his jacket off. “What happened this time?”

B/N took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I've never met someone this insolent.”

Jiho laughed loudly. “Really? Because I did.”

“Don't push your luck, man. I'm not in the mood. I gave her day off to rest, right? But she came late today because she was “busy” last night. Busy, my ass. She was probably fucking some random dude.”

“You know, this counts as being busy.” B/N shoot him a glare full of rage, his jaw was clenched and hands clutched tightly on the armrests. “Why are you even this mad? It's not like she's yours or anything. She's just your assistant, not your wife, she can do whatever she wants.”

B/N frowned. Jiho was right - you were nothing more than his subordinate, yet the thought of you with another man made his blood boil. He wasn't sure why, it wasn't like he felt anything to you. Besides sexual attraction - he couldn't deny this. Was it because he was possessive? Maybe. Or maybe he just didn't understand his own feelings.

Another sigh left his mouth. “I need to give her a lesson.”

“Geez, B/N, what lesson? Let the girl fuck whoever she wants. It's none of your business. And by the way, maybe you should focus more on today's banquet.” Sly smile appeared on B/N's lips when a wild idea crossed his mind. “What now?”

“That's not a bad advice,” he said, grinning. Jiho looked at him puzzled. “Maybe she should go with me.”

“And why is that?”

“Oh you know, Sheng will be there. If she's so thirsty for a dick, she will love his company.” He wasn't paying attention to Jiho anymore, he was too focused on searching for the most expensive dress shops in the area. He knew where to find clothes for himself, but he had never bought anything for a woman. There was simply no occasion for this and the fact that he needed to do this in that time was ridiculous for him.

Jiho groaned disgusted. “He's a fucking creep man, you really hate her this much?”

“I don't hate her, she annoys the fuck out of me. There's a difference.”

“Don't you think it's a little too much? She's hot, he will be all over her all the time.”

B/N looked up from his phone. Was it too much? He wanted to annoy you, nothing more. In his twisted mind, he was convinced you deserved a lesson.

“Come on, Sheng is not that stupid, he will just spit some gross jokes and that's all.”

“I wouldn't be so sure about this. No matter what, keep an eye on her. Just in case.”

B/N scoffed. “Now you're talking?”

“I may not trust her but I don't wish her anything bad.”

“You're coming with me today,” B/N announced when he entered his office after the meeting.

You turned around and asked confused, “What?”

“I said...”

“I know what you said but I don't understand why you want me to accompany you at that banquet.”

“Well, maybe because you're my assistant?” He sat on his chair and looked at you from head to toe. “We need better clothes for you.”

“Excuse me, but what's wrong with the one I have now?”

He didn't answer you but instead he pushed button on his phone and after one signal he directed Anna to prepare car for him. He stood up and headed to the door.

“Follow me.”

The ride was unpleasantly silent. You sat beside him, nibbling on your nail. Changes in his attitude confused the hell out of you. He was mad, you were sure about this, but the reason why was a mystery for you. It was like a world was laughing at you - you had your own problems, there was no need for another one. And yet it arrived. Your life wasn't easy even once but the events of past weeks tested your patience like nothing ever.

The car stopped in front of a huge building and B/N got out of it, without looking at you. You followed him, and shyly entered the luxurious shop.

There weren't a lot of things that made you uncomfortable, but this was definitely one of them. Quick look at the nearest price tag made you flinch instantly. You've never experienced wealthy life, it was unattainable for you from your first day at this world. And to tell the truth, you despised rich people. You have quite a few encounters with them in the past and all of them were sleazy, full of themselves and thought that if they had money, they had everything. You couldn't really find any bigger joy in money, and you didn't understand how some could.

“Do we really have to be here,” you mumbled finally, rubbing your shoulders.

B/N turned around and looked at you. Confusion in his eyes was too noticeable. You felt bad that you showed him this side of you but you couldn't fight embarrassment that washed over you. You felt out of place, almost like an alien. You lowered your gaze.

“What's wrong with you now,” he asked, coming closer to you.

“I... I just don't like places like this,” you stammered.

He was silent for a few seconds but then your annoying boss came back. “Do I look like I care?”

B/N's head was spinning with excess thoughts. He was looking at all the dresses around him, but he didn't really see them. From time to time, he glanced at you, standing awkwardly in the corner, and he couldn't believe it was you. This cheeky, confident girl was gone just because of some expensive clothes. It was unbelievable for him. Was there a reason behind your embarrassment? Did something happen to you before? Much to his annoyance, those questions didn't want to leave his head. He wanted so badly to know why your attitude changed so drastically.

However, the fact that he thought about canceling his plan was even more unthinkable. When he looked at you, so vulnerable, he almost felt sick of his twisted mind. He didn't know why but at that moment he felt the urge to hug you. He had to stop himself from doing something stupid, so instead he focused his mind on why he brought you here.

Suddenly something caught his gaze. There it was - a perfect dress. He moved closer to the rack and touched red silky material. The dress was backless, with a really thin straps and quite a huge low-cut. Just the thought of you in it made him hot. His hand twitched when he reached for it.

“Try this one,” he said, handing you the beautiful piece. You took it from him with a grimace of dissatisfaction and disappeared in a fitting room. He sat on a sofa across the mirror and fixed the collar of his shirt.

When you stood in front of him again, his breath got stuck in his throat. It was a lot more than he imagined. Thin fabric hugged you perfectly, highlighting all your curves insanely. Your breasts were exposed a little too much, but he was too mesmerized to complain. You looked... gorgeous. And even this description wasn't enough. Red was definitely your color, and he wished there was a possibility to see you in this more often.

“Turn around.” His voice was hoarse, but he didn't care if you noticed. You obeyed him without a word and that only aroused him even more. The cut on your back was so low that he was able to see the hem of your lacy undies. Sweat started to form on his forehead, he felt extremely hot and it bothered him. It never happened to him, he never felt so horny just by looking at a woman in a revealing dress. He put hand on his thigh, discreetly trying to adjust his hardening dick. “We will take this one,” he said, when the worker approached you.

“Isn't it too much,” you asked, averting his gaze.

“No.” It was his only answer. There wasn't other option for him, he wanted you to wear that dress regularly. And preferably, only for him. He didn't know how to persuade you to do this, but he was desperate to make it happen.

Sitting beside you, dressed in that sexy piece, in the car was the hardest thing he ever endured in his whole life. He wanted to touch you, feel your hot skin under his fingertips, made you moan for him. He kept his eyes on you, observing your every little move - how your chest raised and fell with each breath, how your legs moved in an attempt to sit more comfortable, how you brushed your hair out of your sight. He couldn't stop himself. His mind was flooding him with different imagines of how would you look and sound when he dicked you down.

You turned your head slightly and glanced at him annoyed. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“So why are you staring at me all the fucking time? Are you regretting taking me with you?”

“Why would I?”

You lowered your gaze and raised an eyebrow a little. “I not sure but I guess it will be quite uncomfortable for you to wander around people with an erection, don't you think?” He took a quick peek at his dick and cursed. So it was visible. He felt the tightness in this area, but he didn't think that it was so prominent. He tried to fix his pants but without success. “Maybe I should help you,” you offered, moving closer to him. He tensed instantly, watching how you put your hand on his thigh dangerously close his boner. “Should I?”

He studied your face for a moment. He wasn't sure if you were serious or not, your expression was emotionless. Did he want it? Oh, he did, but he didn't want to give in to your seduction. He wanted to show you that he was stronger than he appeared at that moment, even though it wasn't true.

He was about to decline your offer when your fingers brushed his clothed dick. He hissed unintentionally.

You burst into laughter. “You wish.”

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you so close that he felt your breath on his face. “You're gonna regret this. Don't fucking play with me, kitten.” Your eyes winded in shock but you didn't move. You stayed like this for a few seconds before he pushed you and got out of the car. He furiously tugged at his pants and covered his crotch area with jacket. “Come,” he snapped through clenched teeth when you joined him. He put his hand on your lower back and guided you inside the luxury restaurant.

He was done playing your little game, it was time for his plan. He couldn't take your presence any longer. You challenged him once again, but this time it was too much for him. He was boiling with anger when he scanned the crowd, looking for Sheng. When he noticed him, he nodded and moved in his direction.

As soon as the man spotted you, his eyes filled with lust. “Hello B/N. And hello to you, gorgeous. Who is it?”

“This is Y/N, my assistant,” he answered with a fake smile.

“Nice choice, man. I bet she's quite useful.” B/N wanted to throw up. He hated this guy to the core. He loathed every aspect of Sheng's being, he was disgusted by his every word. But there was one thing he hated even more at this moment, and it was your attitude.

“Can you keep her company for a second? I need to talk to someone real quick.” B/N didn't wait for any response. He moved his body as far away from you as possible. Fend for yourself, you little bitch.

He lost sight of you long ago but it didn't bother him that much. Somewhere at the back of his head he was hearing Jiho's voice over and over again, but he tried to ignore it. He took a small sip of his champagne, pleased with the company of a girl, whose name he already forgot. She wasn't as pretty as you, but at least she was simpler. A few sweet words, and he had her wrapped around his finger. It was so easy - she was obedient, horny and willing to fuck. That was all he really needed. And that was exactly how it should have been.

She touched his arm and whispered something, but he didn't hear her. His attention switched from her to the conversation of two men behind him.

“This guy's disgusting. You saw how much he drooled over that poor girl? I hope she escaped from him.”

“I don't think she did, I saw him following her with that creepy smile.”

B/N instantly pushed the girl and shoved through the crowd. He was sure they were talking about you and he felt rage spreading all over his body. He was furious - not only at Sheng but also at himself. Why was he so stubborn? He knowingly left you in creep's hands just because you made him mad. He was so stupid... After all, it wasn't only your fault.

If anything happened to you, he would have blamed himself for this for the rest of his life.

When he was close to the restroom area he heard your voice - mix of annoyance and a bit of fear.

“I told you to leave me alone, for fuck's sake.”

B/N's moves became faster, he was ready to rip Sheng's head off.

“Oh come on, sweetheart. Let's play a little bit.”

His hand closed into a fist.

“Get your fucking dirty hands off of me!”

His fist met the side of Sheng's head with so much power that he himself hissed from pain. Sheng flew on the floor with a groan.

B/N glanced at you with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah... I... I'm fine,” you assured, stunned.

B/N looked at the motionless body on the ground. “Geez, this piece of shit pisses me off. Come, I'm gonna drop you home.”

You followed B/N to his car absolutely confused. Firstly, he left you with some fucked up idiot, and then he appeared out of nowhere and knocked the guy down. Changes of his character were so drastic that you started to question his sanity. Was he normally like that? You tried to remember how he acted when you met him for the first time. He was distant, extremely cold and harsh. But something definitely changed. He became... more protective, in a twisted way.

But the thing that shocked you the most was the fact that he didn't try to hide that you turned him on anymore. You noticed a few times that he had a hard-on when you were around but today he didn't even try to brush it off, like he always did. Maybe he was even willing to take your offer seriously. He always seemed like he had full control of himself, yet he lost his composure a few times because of you.

Maybe Kyo was right, maybe B/N wasn't as tough as he wished to be seen as.

“We arrived already, you know,” he laughed suddenly. You turned your head rapidly. It was the first time you heard his laugh and you must have admitted - it was a beautiful sound. You wished he would do that more often.

You studied his face for a second, when you noticed a bit of blood on his cheek. You looked down. “You've injured yourself,” you said, grabbing his hand. He took a sharp breath when you touched his knuckles. “Come upstairs, I will clean this.”

“There's no need.” He tried to free himself but you pushed your fingers onto his wound. He hissed from pain.

“Upstairs, I said.”

He was sitting on the edge of your bathtub with rolled sleeves, while you were looking for something to disinfect his hand with. It was like he was in some kind of trance, admiring your every move with squinted eyes. He felt things he never felt and couldn't even name.

“Ha, found you, you fucker,” you squeaked, grabbing a little bottle from the drawer. He laughed. You looked like a small child after they unwrapped a present. So innocent. You looked at him amazed. “I... it will hurt a bit.”

He nodded, his eyes still on you. You came closer and knelt down, taking his hand in yours. He stopped breathing, not because of the pain, but because of your position. His mind got flooded with inappropriate images, and his mouth became dry suddenly.

Your gaze was focused on his fingers, skin hotter than he had imagined. He felt completely defeated. “Done. I can't put a band aid on it so...” you started but stopped in the middle of the sentence when your eyes met his. He noticed how your cheeks reddened, and how you bit on your lower lip. He wanted nothing more than to lower his head and kiss you. He wanted to be the one to abuse your lips. He moved slightly, but you stood up before he even had a chance to feel your breath on his face. “You should go now, B/N.”

Your mind was one big mess. Memory of yesterday's situation inside your bathroom was as fresh as if it happened minutes ago. You remembered very clearly the look in his eyes, and you were sure yours was the same, you remembered the heat of his skin on yours, his breath fanning your face. You couldn't deny it anymore, you desired him. And it was more than clear that he wanted you, too. And that was a huge problem.

However, the biggest problem was that you invited B/N into your house in the first place. His injury wasn't even close to things you saw before, shit, it was almost non-existent, and yet you couldn't leave him like that. Maybe you had a soft heart after all.

Now you were sitting on the bed with your phone in the hand, hesitant about what you were planning to do.

You started this job to ruin him, to turn his luxurious life into a horror, and probably close him behind the bars, not to actually fell for his charms. You were supposed to be his nightmare. Nothing more. But he made you feel things you didn't feel for a long time. For the first time in years, or maybe even in your whole life, you started to desire not only man's body but also his attention and... heart.

The worst thing was that you didn't understand why you wanted him so badly. He did quite a few things that would probably scare any sane person away. But he had something in him that pulled you so hard that you were ready to let those words and actions slide away. He was almost impossible to resist. He was constantly in your head, your mind provided you scenarios that were rather scary. You couldn't allow yourself to fall in love with him, that was not an option, and you needed to remember that.

With that in mind, you dialed Anna's number. That was the best thing to do for now. “Hey Anna, um- I... I need a day off. Can you pass it to B/N,” you said when she answered finally. You felt bad giving her that task. She would definitely get yelled at, but you couldn't do it yourself. The sound of B/N's voice would change your mind, you were painfully aware of that.

“Something happened? You don't sound good.”

“Well no... I mean, yes... kind of?”

“What's going on, Y/N?”

“I just... I don't feel well, you know? Please, just tell him I won't come today.”

“He won't be pleased with it. Since the early morning, he was nagging me to sent you to him as soon as you come to the office. He wanted to talk about something important or... I don't know. He was pretty weird. But I can't, and I don't want to force you to anything.”

“Thank you. I will see you tomorrow?” It wasn't really a statement. You weren't sure if you would come or not. You needed space and time to think about everything, and his presence wasn't helping at all.

Even though, you didn't trust Kyo anymore, it wasn't like you were going to ditch your mission. You wanted to know what B/N possibly hid and why Kyo so desperately wanted those information. Or, if there was really nothing on B/N, you wanted to find out who and why was trying to end him. You just needed to come up with different, smarter plan. Maybe getting closer to him wasn't the worst idea, you would get to know not only his secrets but his body and time would be at your disposal.

And that, wouldn't be too bad.

But what would happen later? You would disappear into thin air, without any explanation, without anything really, but all feelings and memories would stay with you for the rest of your life. Were few weeks or months with him worth remembering them till your last days? Were you ready for such sacrifice?

Your phone suddenly started buzzing, interrupting your thoughts. Without looking at the screen, you picked it up.

“Yes?”

“Y/N, what's going on?” B/N's voice was laced with worry.

Your grip on the phone tightened. “I'm not in the best state. I need to rest a bit,” you answered quietly. His call was the last thing you needed right now. You could have imagined him, sitting in his chair with slightly messy hair and raised eyebrows. He was probably in another perfectly tailored suit that made him look so tempting. You shook your head, trying to focus on something else. To focus on anything beside him.

“Is it because of what happened yesterday?” Now he sounded even gentler. He was obviously worried, making your heart skip a beat. You wanted to feel his arms around you so badly now.

“No, absolutely not,” you answered. No matter what you couldn't let him know that that situation affected you in any way. He shouldn't know how much power he had over you.

He sighed. “I'm sorry that I left you alone at that damn party. It was stupid. If you want, if it will make you feel better, I can turn Sheng's life into a real hell.”

“What? No, I already forgot about that. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time that something like this happened to me.” You bit your tongue immediately after the last sentence left your mouth. You said that without thinking, without even realizing what you just did. Opening up to him was the worst thing you could have done. “Forget I said that. I don't know why I did it.”

“What do you mean forget it? You were sexually assaulted before? What the fuck,” he raised his voice shocked. “Why are you so chill about it?” You could almost see how he straightened in his chair, how his muscle tensed.

“B/N, it was long ago and... well, I don't need to explain it to you.”

“Are you kidding me? You know how much power I have, I can make anyone pay for what they did, I can...”

“Stop it. I don't even remember who those people were. Plus, why would you do this? Why do you care?”

“Because...fuck.” He sounded annoyed and angry. It was kind of... sweet that he cared about you so much, even if he didn't want to admit to it. “If you don't want, then okay. But if it's not because of Sheng, why can't you come today? Is it about what happened later?”

Your heart sped up. “No. Why are you so stubborn? I want to rest, that's it. Can't you understand that? Just go with your day and leave me alone for some time.” You ended the call angrily, throwing the phone on the bed.

Why? Why the fuck he started to care about you? He was making everything so hard. Something changed... he changed. You didn't give him any reason to like you, let alone to be so concerned about you. You were a pain in the ass, to say the least. So why he suddenly became so worried about you?

You sneaked into Markus' house and took your shoes off. “Bro, are you here?”

“Yeah. Take a bottle of water from kitchen with you.”

You entered the small room and stopped in your track. The inside was so messy that you couldn't put your foot anywhere. Markus was always busy but that couldn't be excused. Empty bottles of water, dirty paper plates and pizza boxes were scattered around everywhere. How could he live like that?

“Hey, can you be a little bit cleaner? It's not that hard to take out the trash, you know,” you yelled, kicking your way to the other side of kitchen.

“I'm kinda busy, Y/N. And that's your fault, by the way. If you want, you can clean it up.”

“Sure and what else,” you mocked, annoyed. The truth was that you would probably do it anyway. It wouldn't be the first time. Besides, he had a point. He was doing research for you without anything in return and you could do at least that for him. In fact, cleaning his house was like a currency in your friendship – he was looking for things for you, and in return you were making his place fit for living.

You took a full bottle from the floor and headed to Markus' office. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

You sat on a stool and looked at one of the screens. “How's work?”

He sighed, leaning in the chair. “Not as good as I would like to. Kyo is not stupid, I knew that, but it seems that his little pet Sammy is actually a lot smarter than I thought. He did pretty good job, Kyo's files are strongly secured and I need a lot more time to break those algorithms.”

“Can I help you somehow?”

“Not with this, we both know you have no idea what I'm doing here,” he laughed. “But you can cook something. I haven't eaten anything besides pizza for... a week?”

“Jesus, didn't I tell you to stop with all this unhealthy food?”

“Quit nagging, you're not my mother,” he said with a cheeky smile. You hit his head playfully and got up.

Cooking with what Markus had in his fridge wasn't an easy task but you finally managed to do something edible. You also cleaned his whole house and pleased with results, you came back to him. He quickly digged into the food with content sigh.

You took a better look at him. He was slimmer than before, and dark circles reached nearly to half of his cheeks. He was spending definitely too much time on this. You felt terrible because of this. He was ready to do anything to help you, even if that meant not taking care of himself.

Markus glanced at you, and opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by your ringing phone. You looked at the screen and declined the call immediately.

“Who was that?”

“B/N. I really don't want to talk to him right now.”

“Anything happened?”

“Actually, yes. You could say that we had a moment yesterday.” Markus choked and looked at you suspiciously. “Not in a way that you think. In short, he took me to a business party where some dude stuck to me for the whole night. Mind you, he was disgusting, and B/N left me with him all alone. But then he hit him, injured his hand because of it, I invited him to my house to take care of it and... I don't know, the atmosphere... It was pretty intense. And today he's calling me nonstop because I took day off.”

“You didn't want to be around him.”

“Yeah. I'm fucked, man. I'm so confused, I don't know what I'm feeling. On the one hand, I want to be close to him but on the other, I want to avoid him as much as I can. What am I suppose to do?”

Your phone buzzed again. Annoyed, you looked at the screen and rolled your eyes. Wasn't he tired of calling? What did he even want from you at this point?

“Answer it, maybe it's something important,” Markus said with troubled expression.

You hesitated for a moment but finally picked it up. “B/N, can you stop already?” The other end of the line was silent. You could only heard his fast, erratic breath and some weird slow music. “B/N?”

“What are you doing to me, Y/N? Why am I doing things I wouldn't normally do?”

You looked at Markus with confusion written all over your face. “Are you drunk?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Where are you?” You stood up, ready to pick him up. He definitely had too much alcohol. You knew he could drink a lot, he was good at it. But if he brought himself to such state, it meant that he crossed his limit.

And it seemed like it was your fault.

He laughed loudly. “What? Are you gonna come and save me? Why should I explain myself to you if you didn't want to do the same?”

“B/N, where the fuck are you?”

“Find me.”

And with that he ended the call. You tried to reach him a few more times, but he ignored you. You groaned. “Markus, can you track him?”

Half hour later you entered richly looking bar. It was full of man in suits and girls with few or none clothes on. You were in places like this before, and every time was like a torture for you. They were all the same, the same pits of despair for wealthy, horny men.

You searched the inside with a glance, wanting nothing more than to leave as quickly as possible, and noticed B/N at the corner. On the table, he was sitting by, stood around four empty bottles and girl in dress shorter than you ever saw, was kissing B/N's neck. He wasn't even looking at her, visibly unsatisfied with her company.

But you merely noticed it. You clenched your hands in to fists, ready to hit someone. Anyone really. The fact that she had her arms wrapped around him made you boil with anger.

You moved into his direction, and as soon as you reached him, you dragged the girl from him. “Out,” you commanded with anger in voice. B/N looked at you puzzled. His eyes were glossy, and skin pinkish. He was drunker than you expected.

“Find yourself someone else, girl,” she said, trying to push you away.

You grabbed her wrist and spun her around. “I said, get the fuck out of here. Your pretty little face won't be this pretty anymore if you don't listen to me. I won't repeat myself,” you gritted through clenched teeth. She broke out of your grip and with mad expression on her face, she left. You turned around and crossed your arms. B/N was looking at you amazed. “Get up, we are leaving.”

“How did you find me,” he stammered.

“You want me to drag you from here? Because I definitely can. Move your ass, you drunkard.” Without looking behind you, you headed to the door.

When you sat in your car, your hands gripped the wheel madly. What was he even doing? Was he really this upset with you? He was acting like a teenager, not like a well-known CEO, and it made you question everything you learned about him up to now.

He joined you second later and obediently fastened his seat belt. You glanced at him and noticed how carefully he was watching you. He probably didn't expect you to come this fast. Hell, he probably didn't expect you to come at all.

During the whole way to his apartment neither of you said anything. Few times he opened his mouth as if to say something, but he closed them as soon as he looked at you. You wanted to scream at him, to make him understand how dumb were his actions. He couldn't be this stupid. Drinking almost till he lost consciousness, fooling around with a random girl. It wasn't what prosperous businessman should do on weekdays.

You stopped your car in the parking lot of his apartment's complex and turned the engine off. You looked at him with daggers in your eyes.

“Get out and sleep it off,” you gritted through your teeth, but he didn't even flinch.

“Can you come with me?”

You blinked a few times, amused with his bluntness. “What?”

“I... I don't think I can make it alone. The whole world is spinning.”

You sighed, exhausted. Going into his house wasn't your dream right now. You were extremely mad at him, but still some part of you cared for him too much to leave him alone now. Again...

You knew it was a bad idea however, you got out of your car and help him stand on his feet. He staggered and your arm instinctively wrapped around him. He was close, too close. You felt his hot, stinking of alcohol breath on your cheek. Your whole body tensed.

You dragged him to an elevator and pushed him inside. He stumbled, losing the last bits of balance he had in him. He leaned forward, crushing you between him and a cold metal surface. His hands grabbed your hips in an attempt to steady himself. You sucked the breath harshly. Your skin burnt like crazy and your head was spinning with the feeling of B/N's proximity.

You put your hands on his torso and pushed him lightly. “B/N move, I need to select the floor.” His grip on you tightened. Without looking at a panel, he pushed one of the buttons with his elbow and put his head on your shoulder. You held your breath startled. His lips were dangerously close to your neck, and you stupidly wished he would put them on you. “What are you doing?”

“I'm not sure,” he laughed. His breath tickled your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “I just want you closer.”

“You're drunk, you're talking crazy.”

“Maybe. But it feels nice.” Your heart was racing. It felt nice, but it was so wrong at the same time.

When his mouth touched your sensitive skin, the door opened and you left the lift as fast as you could. B/N lurched forward and groaned dissatisfied.

“Keys,” you ordered, extending your arm.

He smirked, coming closer to you. “I have them in the pocket of my jeans. I can't pull them out.”

You looked at him annoyed and grabbed him by the belt. You pushed your hand into his front pocket and mentally slap yourself in an attempt to slow your heart down. His pants were extremely tight and you had problems with moving your fingers. You felt B/N's eyes on you, observing your every move with heavy breath. When you finally grabbed the keys and pulled your hand out, you accidentally brushed against B/N's hardening dick. He moaned shamelessly. Your whole body tensed again, and you needed to take a deep breath to calm yourself. With reddening cheeks you turned around and opened the door to his apartment, trying to ignore how much you wanted to jump him.

His apartment was bigger than you expected. It was filled with modern and richly looking furniture, everything was neat and clean, and it smelled like a mix of B/N's perfume and the man himself. Now, even breathing was hard.

You glanced over your shoulder. “You're inside, so I will go now.”

B/N blocked your way. “Can you stay a little longer,” he pleaded.

“For what?”

“Just stay for ten fucking minutes, can't you do this? Is someone waiting for you?”

You sighed and headed to the kitchen. You grabbed a glass, filled it with water and went to his bedroom, expecting him to follow you. You set the glass on the table beside the huge bed, leaned against it and looked at B/N. He was struggling with buttons of his suit, and with roll of your eyes, you came closer to him. You pushed his hands away and helped him took it off. You hesitated for a moment but finally removed his shirt too. His body was deliciously fit and lightly tanned. Every muscle was highly visible and tempting. You wanted to trace your hands over his skin, find every mark on it, and kiss every centimeter of him. But you needed to be the responsible one.

B/N's fingers closed around your wrist. “I kinda like it.”

“Stop it. Take your pants off and go to the bed.”

“Oh and it's getting better.”

You shook your head and stepped aside. You took a look around his bedroom. It was frighteningly empty, no photos, no decorations, nothing. It looked exactly like your room. From what you've heard, he wasn't close with his family, so the reason behind this emptiness was also similar. Maybe he resembled you more than you initially thought.

You heard the squeak of his bed, so you turned to him.

“Can I go now?”

“Jesus Christ, why are you in such a hurry?”

“Okay, okay, fine,” you groaned and sat on the floor beside the nightstand. B/N rolled on his side and set his eyes on you. “If you don't want me to go, maybe instead you want to tell me why did you drink so much?”

He was silent for a few minutes before he answered slowly, “You pissed me off this morning and... I don't know, I was mad at you... at me, and it kinda just happened.”

“And why would you be mad at me? I wanted one day off. One day.”

“You didn't want to tell me what was going on, and I was... worried. Don't look at me like that, I know it sounds weird, but I can't really explain it.”

You traced your fingers on his arm without thinking. His words pulled at the strings in your heart that you didn't even know existed. He could act as if he had no emotions, but his drunk self was brutally honest, telling you things you were scared to hear. The truth was that even if he didn't want to admit it, or maybe he didn't understand it yet, he was falling for you.

And that scared the hell out of you because you started to feel the same.

You never really experienced something like this. It was so new to you. Caring about someone that way, wanting to be with them and receiving the same from that person was nice. But deep down you couldn't convince yourself that love was something for you. No one ever loved you, and until now, you were sure that that was how it should have been. Was it even useful to change it now?

You opened your mouth to say that you really need to leave but you closed them when you noticed that B/N fell asleep already. His breath was slow and rhythmic, lips slightly parted, hair covered his closed eyes and fingers laced together with yours. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful.

You moved closer and traced your digits over his face. “What are we going to do now, B/N?”

You took his keys, hoping he would think he left them somewhere and headed to the security guard situated by the entrance of the building.

“Hey, I'm Y/N. I'm B/N's assistant. Can you please do something for me?”

The old man looked at you with a friendly smile. “How can I help you, miss?”

“Can you check on B/N tomorrow morning? He drank too much and I'm kind of scared that something may happen to him in sleep. I know I shouldn't leave him alone but I can't really stay here. I would be so grateful.”

“It's gonna be weird, but sure. What should I say to him?”

“Whatever you want. But don't mention I was here, please.”

You got in the car and leaned your head on the steering wheel, defeated.

Annoying sound of doorbell woke B/N up. He opened his eyes carefully but closed them as soon as the sunlight blinded him. His head was heavy and it throbbed with pain. Everything was too bright and too loud. He wasn't sure where he was but quick check of his surroundings told him he was in his own bed.

How the hell he ended up here?

He couldn't remember single thing from yesterday. All he knew was that he got mad at you and went to drink. Everything that happened later was a mystery for him. Did he do anything weird? Did he hook up with someone? Who brought him here?

The doorbell rang again. He stood up with a groan and noticed a glass of water on the bedside. Did he put it here? He downed it and headed to the door.

He was confused. No one ever visited him... besides girls he invited himself. Was it one of them? “Coming,” he yelled when the sound of bell filled his ears one more time. He wanted to throw up because of it. Every step required a lot more strength than normally.

“Good morning, sir. Sorry for interrupting you so early but I wanted to tell you that there's been a suspicious man who sniffed around our building, so you should be careful,” said the older man. From what B/N remembered he was one of the security guards. He had no idea what was his name, not that it was important for him.

“Okay, I will remember this.” He was about to close the door, when he thought about something. “Hey, you were here all night?”

“Yes, why are you asking?”

“Do you perhaps know how I got here,” he asked with hope.

The man tensed and scratched his head, averting B/N's gaze. “Well...”

“Yes,” B/N insisted, looking at the man suspiciously.

“Well... some girl brought you here.”

“And what did she look like?”

“I don't remember clearly, sorry.”

B/N sighed. “That's fine, thanks.” He closed the door and leaned on them. So he was with a girl yesterday. Who was it? Why didn't she stayed with him? He had some bits of memories, memories of someone undressing him, but it was so faint that he couldn't tell if those were real or if it was just a dream.

What really happened last night?

And why, for fuck's sake, he was this horny from the early morning?

He came back to his room and grabbed his phone. The thing he was about to do... he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but he needed some relief. And he needed it as fast as possible.

With a weird feeling, something too similar to betrayal, he called Anna.

You entered the office extremely late. You didn't know what to expect. Was B/N already there? Was he okay? Did he remember anything from yesterday? You yourself couldn't sleep at all. Your mind was full of thoughts about him and the situation you were in. You were scared of your own feelings, and didn't know what to do with all of this anymore.

You said hello to Anna and headed to B/N's office.

“He's not there,” Anna informed you.

You turned around to look at her, suddenly worried. “Something happened?”

“I don't think so. He called me earlier and said that he will be out today because he has a remarkably important thing to do. For me, it was bullshit. Yesterday he was worse than normally, and he got out of the office pretty quickly, so I assume that he drank too much. Nothing to worry about.”

He was fine and that was the only thing that mattered to you.

You looked at the clock on your phone. Fifteen more minutes and you would be free. It was so boring without B/N, the only thing you did was stroll around the company aimlessly and talked with people about nothing important. You tried to keep your mind occupied with things other than B/N but it was hard. What was he doing? What was that thing he needed to do? You thought whether you should call him or not but finally decided not to. There wasn't really a need and you didn't want to look like you were worried about him.

You slowly got up from your chair and gathered all your belongings.

“I'm gonna go, Anna. I'm bored and there is no reason for me to be here any longer,” you said.

“Okay. I will see you tomorrow,” she answered without looking at you. You were about to step into the elevator when she yelled, “Y/N! You picked up B/N's suit from tailor, right?”

You spun on your heel with fear in your eyes, “Holy shit. He's gonna kill me.”

“He probably will. Here,” Anna threw a key in your direction. You caught it with confusion written all over your face. “It's a spare key to his apartment. Just in case.”

You thanked her, even though you didn't really need it, and rushed into the elevator. You hit the button with fist and leaned your head on the cold surface of the huge mirror inside. After all the things that happened you actually forgot about your duties as the assistant. Maybe he was nicer to you, but he definitely still cared about his job and appearance. He never showed up at meetings in the same clothes. The change in his feelings towards you wouldn't really matter in that case.

The ride was rather short and you were extremely glad for it. You parked on the pavement, jumped out of your car and sped to the luxury store. Middle-aged woman behind a counter looked at you suspiciously. You tried to catch your breath before standing straight.

“Hello, I'm here to pick Mr. B/L/N suit.”

“Oh, right.” Her voice was moderately calm but you picked trace of irritation in it. “I was waiting the whole day, miss.”

“I'm so sorry, it was such a busy day at work. I couldn't make it earlier,” you lied.

Woman eyed you up and down and her eyes softened a little bit. “It's okay, I understand. It's probably hard to work for such demanding young man,” she laughed.

“Only sometimes,” you smiled softly, taking a bag with suit from her. “Thank you so much and once again, I'm really sorry for the inconvenience. Goodbye.”

You left the store and rolled eyes. Hard? That's a huge understatement.

You hanged the suit over your arm and moved towards B/N's apartment. It wasn't far from the shop and some walk seemed like a good idea to clear your head a bit. You prayed under your nose that the thing he needed to do involved going out, and he wouldn't be at home because that would probably mean scolding.

You sighed. You weren't sure if you were ready to meet him after previous night. You were scared but on the other hand, you wished he would be at home. It was still hard to admit it but you really missed his face, his voice, the way he looked at you.

You approached his building complex and said hello to a different security guard this time. He bowed his head and let you in after you introduced yourself. You pulled out keys and slowly opened the door. The inside was peaceful and quiet. You exhaled. He was out. You kicked your shoes off, put your bag on the table in the kitchen and headed into his bedroom.

You definitely weren't ready for what you saw.

B/N was lying in his bed... with a girl between his legs. She was sucking him off with the most unpleasant sound you ever heard. You were sure she didn't know what she was doing. And his face confirmed your assumptions - he covered his eyes with hand but you saw his bored expression.

You were shocked, to say the least. So, that was the thing he needed to take care off. Remarkably important thing. Fucking jerk. And you were worried about him all day. For no reason. You should have known better. All those changes in him? Those sincere words from yesterday? It was a bullshit. He didn't change at all, he didn't care about you. And you fell for that.

Feeling of betrayal clamped around your heart. If anything started to bloom between the two of you, now it was gone. Like everything else in your life.

You pulled yourself together and cleared your throat, “B/N?”

His eyes snapped open and he looked directly at you. The girl raised her head with drool all over her chin unmoved. You chuckled, scanning his body slowly and staring a little too long at his thick half hard cock. It was pathetic. She was terrible, and she didn't even care. The thought of you on her place crossed your mind and you blinked shocked. It wasn't the time for thoughts like this.

“What are you doing here?” B/N asked with guilt in his eyes. Quit acting, you fucker.

You glanced at him with fake smile, “I brought you your suit. Sorry for the delay.”

“That's okay. Hang it in the wardrobe.”

“Sure thing.”

As soon as you stepped into the closet, you heard his moans. You stopped abruptly and took a sharp breath. What the fuck, B/N? Just a few seconds ago you were bored and now she suddenly knows how to make you feel this good? Sounds he was producing made you clenched your shaky thighs together, your core burned more and more with every moan that left his lips. You shut your eyes and tried to calm your racing heart and erratic breath. Oh god, you're doing this on purpose. You hung the suit with shaky hands and leaned against a dresser. Calm down, Y/N, calm down. It's not like you never heard man moan. Heck, you were the reason they made those sounds in the first place! He's doing this just to make fun of you, just to make you aware that you're stupidly naive.

You couldn't control your feelings. You were angry, disappointed and wronged but no matter what sounds that were escaping his lips aroused you, and you hated yourself for this. You felt the wetness gathering on the fabric of your underwear and it was becoming uncomfortable. There was no point in staying there any longer. You took deep breath and left the wardrobe, trying to appear more confident than you were.

You stopped with a hand on the door. “I put the suit on the left. I want to remind you that you have a meeting at eight tomorrow so please, don't play for too long... boss,” you said with blank expression, staring directly into his eyes. Before you closed the door, you heard him swear.

“Are you crazy,” the girl screamed, coughing hysterically.

You laughed, feeling almost dead inside.

She was useless. He didn't feel anything even though she had her lips around his cock for what seemed like an hour now. He didn't go to work today and invited her to his house to finally relieve some pressure that built in him but it was no use. He felt even worse than before. She didn't know what she was doing, and he started to think that he should throw her out. It wasn't a good idea after all. She wasn't you...

He was about to stop her and throw her out when he heard your voice. “B/N?”

His eyes opened so fast that his vision got blurred. It wasn't his imagination, you were standing there, looking at his body. His cock twitched a little, and he swore in his head. Your eyes ignited the flame in his body that the girl between his legs couldn't do for such a long time. He just needed you around to get hard.

“What are you doing here?” The first thing he noticed when he regained his composure was the harsh look in your eyes. You were mad, it was obvious to him. He felt the guilt building up in him even more.

“I brought you your suit. Sorry for the delay.”

“That's okay. Hang it in the wardrobe.” Wild idea crossed his mind. Maybe it wasn't that bad that you came here. He needed you to get rid of this annoying feeling of dissatisfaction. And if he couldn't have you directly, your presence would be enough. It wouldn't be the same, but he couldn't count on more.

“Sure thing.” He focused on the way your hips sway from side to side when you moved to the wardrobe, and he pushed the girl back onto his dick. She started to suck him again with the same slow pace but this time it felt different. Now his eyes were on your back. He was imagining your plump lips around him instead, he tried to picture you in her position with your hair all over your redden face and drool dripping from your chin.

Loud moan left his parted lips. He wanted you, he wanted you so badly right now. He was ready to throw this girl out of his house if you only said one word. He didn't care about her at all, his mind was occupied with you and it felt so perfect. He saw how your legs trembled and it drove him closer to his climax. He was affecting you the same way you affected him. You could say and do whatever you wanted but you still desired him.

You turned around and he quickly looked away. “I put the suit on the left. I want to remind you that you have a meeting at eight tomorrow so please” you stared into his eyes with blank expression, but your gaze held so much power that he almost lose it, he loved that, “don't play for too long... boss.” He couldn't control himself anymore. As soon as you finished your sentence he came hard, filling the girl's mouth with his seed. Echo of the word “boss” rang inside his head, tormenting him. He never knew that it would arouse him but when it left your pretty lips he lost every bit of control he had. It was a bit embarrassing that he came so fast but it doesn't really matter at that moment. He finally got what he wanted.

“Are you crazy,” the girl screamed, coughing hysterically. He didn't pay any attention to her, trying to catch his breath after long-awaited climax. “I told you that I don't want you to finish inside my mouth! It's gross. Jesus, now you need to do something for me, too,” she smiled sweetly while tracing her fingers on his leg.

“Get out,” he said.

“What?”

“I said, get the fuck out,” he repeated irritated.

“Don't you think I need something in return for the favor?”

“I didn't come thanks to you. You, in fact, were terrible. It was because of her,” he pushed her to the other side of the bed and turned around. “Take your clothes and get out.”

“You son of a bitch,” she yelled, grabbed her belongings and run out of the room.

He closed eyes slowly and imagined you next to him - exhausted, sweaty and his...

You threw yourself on your sofa and groaned loudly. “Fuck you, B/N,” you yelled into the ceiling frustrated. Your whole body, every muscle inside you burnt with anger and desire.

That was why you never engaged yourself in love. Being this vulnerable because of someone, always brought you pain. It made you weak and miserable. You should have learned already that depending on other people was the worst thing to do. They were always only pretending to care. Just as your own parents.

You ran your hand through your hair irritated. You definitely weren't sane. Why the hell you couldn't push his image out of your head? How could you be still attracted to the man that deceived you?

You couldn't concentrate because of the burning feeling in your abdomen. Flustered, you squeezed your thighs together to get some friction. When you moved your hand down, you told yourself over and over again that you were doing this just to get rid of that feeling. Not because of your mind, flashing you image of his sweaty body. Not because of his sweet moans, echoing in your ears.

Your fingers brushed past your wet folds and you pushed them inside you with a low groan. With every move of your hand you were more and more mad. It wasn't enough, it simply didn't feel right.

With heavy feeling of hate, you tried to imagine his lips on your neck, sucking and kissing your hot skin, his long fingers moving inside you, his deep voice saying dirty things right into your ear.

“B/N.” Long moan left your lips shamelessly. You felt dirty. You were nothing to him and yet, there you were, pleasing yourself to the thought of him. How low could you fall?

You digged nails into your thigh hardly, when you finally reached your high.

When a guy from an accounting department, whose name you forgot, told you that the team have planned to go to the party after work and you should join them, you eagerly agreed. Events of recent days became too hard to handle for you and you desperately needed some time to relax and forget, even for a few minutes, about B/N. For the past few days your head was full of extreme thoughts. You weren't sure if you still wanted to continue your task, if you wanted to stay around B/N any longer. You were hurt, and the fact that he acted like nothing happened at first was even more upsetting. He finally noticed the change in your attitude but it seemed that it wasn't something he cared about.

That was why you agreed to join the team that Friday night. That, and because you didn’t even remember when was the last time you went out, not to mention the last time you had sex. And you needed it more than ever. Because of the memory of that night, which you couldn't push out of your head, you were terribly tensed and needy. Even though, you felt terrible about it, that was your reality.

And when you learned that he was probably going too, you felt the need to make him angry, you wanted him to feel what you felt that day you had caught him with another girl. You wished he would really come, see you with someone else and go beyond his limits. You wanted him to boil with anger, to suffer.

“You got this, Y/N. It’s gonna be fine,” you said to yourself. You finished applying red lipstick and took last glance at your image in the mirror. You looked sexy, your black tight mini dress hugged your body in all right places, highlighting the fact that you didn’t wear a bra. Your hair fell back over your shoulders in perfect curls and your makeup was minimal except for bright red lipstick. You smiled to yourself, grabbed a bag from the bed and headed out from your apartment.

When you walked out of a cab right in front of a club, loud sensual music hit your ears. Small groups of drunk people were standing by the entrance, some laughing, some kissing. The inside of the club was extremely hot, smelled like alcohol, weed and sweaty bodies. Dim light and smoke were creating mysterious and arousing atmosphere. People were dancing close to each other, grinding on strangers shamelessly.

You missed such places. There was a time in your life when you spent night after night in clubs like this one, drinking and fooling around with men. It was your way to blow off steam. But since you started your mission that was rare. You spent most of your time at the office with B/N or at Markus’ house, searching for any clues that could help you understand the whole situation you were in. Today was your long-awaited time to relax.

“Y/N,” you heard someone from the left calling your name, so you turned in that direction. You saw a few people from work, sitting on a red couch. You didn’t remember their names except for Anna’s. You smiled at them and sat beside her.

“Beer? Cocktail,” asked guy in a white shirt. You remembered him from somewhere but you weren’t sure where he exactly worked. He was handsome but your plan was to hook up with someone who wouldn’t lose their job because of it.

“Vodka, a lot of vodka,” you said with a grin.

Hour later you lost count of how much you had drunk. You felt dizzy and extremely hot. You didn't have such good time in months. However, there was no sign of B/N and you didn’t really want to wait any longer for him. He probably decided to not come. You started scanning the dance floor, looking for someone suitable for the night. No one really caught your attention until you saw a guy standing by the bar. He was looking at you hungrily, sipping slowly on his whiskey. His tight white button shirt was slightly open, revealing tanned body, his hair were messy and you imagined running your fingers through them. Heat between your legs became unbearable.

You got up with intention to come closer to him but Anna’s hand grabbed your wrist. You turned to her with question on your face.

“You sure you can go anywhere in that state,” she asked. You only nodded your head, scared that she would sense the need in your voice. “Don’t you want to wait for boss?”

You shrugged, yanking your hand from her grip. You looked at the guy again. He was closer now, slowly swaying his body to the rhythm. Wait for boss? For what? Fuck him.

You approached the guy with a smirk on your lips. “Hey,” you said, linking your arms around his neck.

“Hey pretty.” His hands landed on your ass and pulled you close to him. He lowered his head to your neck, kissing and sucking on your skin roughly. You moaned loudly, grinding on his half hard dick, and he squeezed your butt in response. You felt wave of heat in your core, you couldn’t wait any longer, you needed some relief.

You grabbed his hair, pulled his head up and smashed your lips with his. The kiss was rough and needy. One of his hands traveled under the hem of your dress and touched your pussy through panties. You felt him smirk into the kiss when he felt how wet you were.

“Bathroom,” you mumbled between shaky breaths.

He swung you around and guided you to the closed area. His arm around your waist sent shivers down your spine. It didn't feel as good as you wanted, but he was better than nothing.

You kissed him again once the door to the bathroom closed with a quiet click. You run your fingers through his already messy hair, tugging it strongly. He lifted the hem of your dress up to your belly button and shoved his hand into your underwear. You groaned, throwing your head back and giving him access to your neck. He sucked at it again, leaving marks on the sensitive skin. He pushed his erection into your thigh, pinching your swollen pussy at the same time. You screamed in pain and pleasure.

You definitely needed it. You were sure you wouldn't remember his face tomorrow morning but that annoying feeling of dissatisfaction would be gone. And that was what you wanted. Screw B/N for now. Screw him and his fucking game.

The guy was about to push one of his fingers inside you when the door swung open, and he flew into the other side of the room…

He didn’t know why he was doing that exactly. He never went with his employees to party. Moreover, he never visited such filthy and unpleasant places like this bar. He preferred more elegant places with the same amount of horny girls ready to satisfy him. Now he felt disgusted and wanted to leave as soon as the smell of sweat hit his nose. How someone could enjoy something like this?

He looked around and noticed his secretary surrounded by people who he probably should have recognized. He didn’t even bother to recall their names, it was useless for him. He was here just to see you, just to observe how you acted in such environment. Maybe he even hoped that you would change your attitude towards him. After that… incident that happened in his bedroom, you became so cold, so distant, so… practical. You stopped arguing with him, you were doing all your tasks without a word and that made him furious.

He hated it, he hated every second of time spent with you. And it was all his fault. Just when he thought that the things started to look a bit different in his life, that maybe there was a chance and a reason to change his behavior, he fucking ruined it. All because of his stupid mind.

He came closer to the sofa and sat on the edge of it.

“Oh, look who’s here,” shouted a girl with short blond hair. She was clearly drunk as fuck, her eyes were foggy, and she spoke in irritating high-pitched voice. Her comment brought all eyes on him, making him kinda uncomfortable. “Boss, do you want to drink something?”

He looked at them with pity and finally realized that you weren’t there. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Sad,” she giggled and emptied shot of vodka.

B/N looked around, searching for you. He was mad at himself that he agreed to come here. He didn’t like those people, he couldn’t even drink. After the last time, there was no chance he would pour any alcohol in his system for a while.

He sighed and looked at keys in his hands ready to leave. What was the point of being around those people if you weren’t here?

“Boss?” He raised his head and glanced at his secretary. “Are you looking for Y/N?”

He twitched, shocked by her question. Was it that obvious? No, no one seemed to care, they were deep in other conversations, and they didn’t pay any attention to the both of them. Fuck.

“Why would I?”

“I don’t know, it was just a question,” she said while tracing her fingers on the edge of the glass. Something was off, he felt it.

“Just a question? Why did you ask that, huh,” he was mad. He didn’t like the idea of someone knowing that you were on his mind. Especially people who didn’t mean anything to him.

“Well, I thought you would ask about her since we told you she will come. I’m assuming that you agreed just because of this. After all, she’s the closest to you from all of us.” He exhaled slowly. She didn’t suspect anything after all.

He smiled to himself. “That’s true. So” he leaned towards her a little bit, “she didn’t come?”

“Oh no, she came.” He looked at her confused. Corners of her lips twitched. “I guess she’s with that hot guy that was looking at her all night. And I think she will definitely come more than once tonight” she giggled at her own joke.

B/N grabbed her by her shoulders. She whined at his sudden action. “Where the fuck is she?”

“How would I know? I'm not her guardian. Maybe bathroom?” He stood up abruptly and headed in given direction.

He gritted his teeth. Mad wasn’t even close to what he felt at this moment, he wanted to punch someone. Anyone, he didn’t care. He didn’t even understand completely why the thought of you with someone else made him this angry, but it did. He couldn't stand that someone could touch you, make you feel good. Fuck. Did you feel the same when you saw him that night?

He heard your lewd scream when he grabbed bathroom door’s knob. He pushed it quickly and saw you, head thrown back, eyes closed, mouth opened in pleasure and hand of a random guy in your underwear.

Without thinking, B/N punch him in the face, making him fly into the wall. He whined loudly and sank on the floor.

B/N looked at you with fury in his eyes…

Your eyes snapped open and you saw B/N in front of you. He was shaking with anger, his breath was fast and heavy, and his gaze was scarier than you've seen before.

You glanced at the unconscious guy who just seconds ago was about to fuck you. “What are you doing,” you screamed at B/N. You yanked your dress down and tried to come closer to his victim but B/N grabbed your hand and pushed you against the wall. “What?!”

“What,” he growled. “What am I doing? What the fuck are you doing?!”

“That’s non of your business, you jerk! I can do whatever I want! And I wanted to fuck him! Besides, you did the same! Am I not allow to?!”

The whole time you were trying to free yourself from his grip, but he was too strong for you. You attempted to kick him but in one second he grabbed both of your wrists in one hand, pinned them to the wall and caught your leg before you hit him. You cursed under your nose.

That was exactly what you wanted, you made him mad, he probably felt just like you. At least he looked like that. But you didn’t expect him to act this violent. You didn’t know he would take this so seriously.

You were about to scream at him again, but he suddenly kissed you.

You gasped shocked. His lips were much softer and sweeter than the guy’s on the floor, but they were much more greedy. You couldn’t lie, you loved the feeling of his mouth. You closed your eyes and thoughtlessly gave in the kiss. He made you a lot hornier. You felt the dampness inside your underwear more prominent than before. You wanted him, didn’t matter where or what will happen later, even what he did to you before wasn't important now, you just needed him. You moaned when his hand moved higher, touching your butt.

He broke the kiss and stared at you. You knew how you were looking, mouth opened, eyes hooded with desire and full of plea. He didn’t say anything, but he interlocked your fingers and pulled you out of the bathroom, leaving unconscious guy on the floor. He quickly crossed the dance floor and left the bar with you behind him. He opened his car and pushed you inside.

He was driving fast, definitely faster than he should have. He didn’t open his mouth during the ride even once. He looked extremely sexy with his clenched jaw and hands gripping the wheel strongly. But you were unsure, you didn’t know what he was planning. What if he wanted to drop you in your house?

Nah B/N, you’re not leaving me like this now.

Your intoxicated mind took action before you even thought about it carefully. Still looking directly at him, you slid hand down your body and you touched yourself through thin material of your panties. Quiet moan left your lips and brought B/N’s attention to you. He scanned your body, bringing more fire to your core. He clenched the wheel even tighter and sped more.

You knew you won.

When he pulled over to the parking in front of his apartment, you took out hand from your underwear. You wanted to open the door but he stopped you. He brought your fingers between his lips and suck your juices from them. His mouth was hot and his tongue… oh god, you imagined it on your pussy, slightly rough and definitely skilled. You moaned and yanked your hand back. One more minute and you were ready to fuck him in his expensive car.

He was faster than you, he opened door on your side and took you in his arms. You gasped loudly but quickly pushed your shock aside and you put your mouth on his neck, kissing and licking his hot skin. He growled and squeezed you tighter. You didn’t even notice when he entered his apartment. He stormed to his bedroom and threw you on the bed. You sat and took your heels off of your feet. Waiting eagerly for his next move, you moved on all fours and slowly licked your dry lips. He was looking at you and you were sure that after all he still wasn’t able to make up his mind. It was clear to you that he was torn between fucking you and leaving you there untouched.

“B/N,” you said in the most seductive way, “you can’t leave me now. Not when I want you so badly. I want you to fuck me. Rough. Please, boss.”

He was hesitant for a few seconds, but he finally grabbed you by your hair and brought you to his lips, “As you wish, kitten.”

He kissed you even harder than in the club. You felt intoxicated by his touch and smell, you needed him more than air at that moment. Your fingers found buttons of his shirt and you clumsily tried to undo it. He pushed you and ripped his shirt open. Sound of buttons hitting the floor made you gasped. B/N pinned you to the bed and yanked the front of your dress down, revealing your bare breast. Groan left his lips. His eyes on you made you hot, you wanted him to just fuck you, use you, whatever, you needed him inside you.

You were about to say this when his lips attacked your right nipple. You threw your head back, moaning loudly. His tongue swirled around it skillfully and then bit it harshly. Your hand flew into his hair and grabbed it. You felt him smirk into your skin, and then he repeated his action. Your mind was completely blank, there was only him, nothing else mattered. His every touch made you more desperate than you’ve ever been.

He released you and stood up. You looked at him confused. “Take off your clothes. Completely.” You obediently followed, throwing your dress and panties on the floor. “Good. On your knees,” he said while undoing his belt and taking off his jeans and underwear. You finally saw him completely naked in his full glory right in front of you. Your mouth watered at the sight of his cock. You licked your lips and looked up at him. “What are you waiting for? Suck.”

You grabbed his cock in your hand and gave it first lick, collecting precum from its tip. You hummed eagerly and took him fully in your mouth. He was hot, veiny and tasted insanely. You glanced at him when you started bobbing your head on his length, his eyes were closed, and he was breathing through clenched teeth. You couldn’t wait any longer, you needed some type of relief so you touched your wet folds. Shaky breath left your lips.

“Don’t even try,” B/N warned you, “Hands on your thighs.” His voice was deep, angry and filled with arousal. He grabbed your hair, wrap them around his hand and roughly yanked you on his dick. You choked, eyes widening at his violence. He started to fuck your mouth so aggressively that tears started to gather at the corner of your eyes, smearing your mascara all over your face. Saliva mixed with his salty precum dripped from your chin on the floor. You were so close to your high, you felt that tingly sensation build up inside your abdomen, and he wasn't even touching you. But then he stopped and pulled you on your feet. He licked your chin, looking straight into your eyes. “You want me, kitten?”

“Yes, boss.” Your voice was nothing more but a pleading whisper.

“I don’t think so. Try to convince me. What do you want from me?”

You swallowed impatiently. “I want you to fuck me, to use my body however you want to. Mark me, hit me, choke me, whatever, I just want your dick inside me, please,” you whined, touching his firm abs. “Please boss, please I…”

He didn’t let you finish, instead he pushed you on the bed again. “Get on all fours.”

His hand touched your butt and disappeared immediately just to land harshly on one of your cheeks seconds later. You moaned from pain and pleasure. He repeated it a few times, each one stronger than the previous. Your ass hurt as hell and you were sure that you will have problems with sitting tomorrow. But you didn’t care. You also didn’t care that your juices oozed from you down on the silk bed sheets, probably ruining them.

He hit you a few more time, but finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you felt his cock between your folds.

“B/N,” his name left your lips as a long whine and you felt him throb inside you. His moves were quick but steady, he filled you perfectly. Tears rolled down on your face, you were so sensitive, so close to your climax. You were sure that you wouldn’t last long. B/N grabbed your throat, squeezed it and brought you closer so that you were pressed to his chest.

“Are you going to cum for me like a good girl?” You nod slightly, unable to produce any words. His other hand traveled down to your clit and started rubbing it quickly. You couldn’t take it anymore.

Climax hit you so hard that you lost your vision, white spots danced in front of your eyes and you didn’t even hear your own weak scream. You were sure that if he wasn’t holding you, you would collapse. You never experienced something like this, it was the hardest orgasm you’ve ever had. You wanted nothing more than to lay on the soft bed and fall asleep.

But B/N wasn’t finished yet. He slammed into you harder and you screamed again. You were so overstimulated that his every move brought pain. You tried to free yourself and proposed to suck him off, but he only tightened his grip on your neck. You gasped for air and shut your eyes, unable to think anymore. His moves became sloppier, and he finally came with a loud moan. His hot seed filled you, bringing you to another orgasm.

Then there was only darkness…

He finally came. He was more than satisfied but the fact that this was probably the best sex and the hardest orgasm he ever had kinda terrified him. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere at the back of his mind such thought existed, but he didn’t want to admit it. You were intoxicating, that was certain. Your every move, every sound messed with his head, and he wasn’t sure if it was something good or bad. He didn’t really know what to think about it at all.

He loosened the grip on your throat. “Are you okay?”

You didn’t give him any response, so he looked at you with concern. Your head was laid on his shoulder, eyes closed and chest raising slowly. He smiled to himself.

Slowly, he put you on the bed and headed to the bathroom to get a towel. He carefully cleaned you from his cum and put blanket over your naked body. He laid next to you amazed. He had sex so many times but it never happened, no single women lost consciousness because of him. And no other women made him feel so satisfied, so… complete.

He gently touched your face. “You’re more dangerous than I thought, Y/N.”

He brought you to his chest and slowly fell asleep, breathing in your sweet scent...

Terrible headache woke you up in the morning. Sunlight that came through the window made you squeeze your eyes shut. Your throat was extremely sore and when you rolled on your side, sharp pain radiated from your ass. You whined, trying to remember what happened yesterday. Your memories were fogged, some unclear bits that didn't make any sense.

Something moved on your left and you snapped your eyes in this direction.

Then it hit you.

“Oh fuck.” You sat on the bed, blanket fell off of you, revealing your naked body. “Oh shit, shit, shit.” You quickly got up, trying not to wake B/N up, gathered your clothes from the floor and put them on in a hurry. What the fuck, Y/N? What have you done?

It wasn’t suppose to happen. You wanted to get laid but not with him… especially not with him, not after what he did. What were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all? Now being around him, would be even harder. Thought about leaving all this shit crossed your mind, but you didn't have time to think about it. You needed to get out of B/N's house. Fast.

You looked at him before leaving his bedroom. In the sunlight he looked like an angel but his messy hair and slightly opened mouth brought memories of the previous night. He was far from an angel.

You couldn’t stop yourself and before you registered what you were doing, you kissed him delicately. “I hope you won’t remember that, B/N.”

When he woke up, he was ready to brush your hair and inhale your scent. It was hard for him to fully understand that. He just felt the need to do that.

When he turned around to where you were supposed to lie and realized that you’re gone, he sat straight confused. He looked around, there was no trace of you in his room, all your belongings were gone, the side of the bed where you were lying yesterday was cold. He cursed under his breath. What the fuck? Last night you were begging him to fuck you, to use your body however he wanted, and now when you satisfied your needs you were gone? No “thank you”, no “forget about it”, nothing. You just left him naked and alone. It wasn’t going to work with him.

He clenched his jaw and headed into the shower. He needed to think. It wasn’t like he never done something like this, of course he was leaving women’s houses when he was finished with them, it was normal for him. But someone leaving him? It never happened and it made him furious. Did that sex mean nothing to you? You definitely wanted it and you enjoyed it as much as he did. And yet, you left without a word. Was that your plan? Did you want to use him and disappear, so he would feel like every woman he had? Or... maybe you wanted him to feel the same as you felt a few days ago.

He banged his head on the wall, cold water running down his face. His feelings confused him. He didn’t understand your motifs, not to mention your feelings, which he didn’t like. He wanted to know clearly whether you felt something for him or not. He needed to know this. Even though, he was still reluctant to admit it, the thought of you not caring about what happened yesterday upset him.

Because deep down, he cared about it.

B/N entered the company, ignoring people who greeted him. He wasn’t in the mood, he just wanted to ask you if you remember anything from previous night, and if you at least felt good. He opened his office and saw you leaning against his desk and explaining something to Jiho. You were wearing pencil skirt and turtleneck. When you turned to look at him, blush creeped on your cheeks and you lowered your gaze. You definitely remembered.

“B/N, good to finally see you. You know you’re late, right?” Jiho was clearly irritated. B/N sat on his chair and focused his gaze on you. You shifted uncomfortable. “You have meeting in an hour and you didn’t even read what Anna had prepared for you,” he continued. “I asked Y/N to prepare shorter version of the files. Familiarize yourself with them. Y/N will help you.”

“What,” she squeaked. “I think you will do better than me.”

“Oh I know but I have other things to do. I’m counting on you, Y/N,” he said and left the office.

Uncomfortable silence fell over both of you. You took a deep breath and looked up. Your teeth tightened on your lower lip. B/N wanted to grab you and pull your mouth into the kiss, he wanted to be the one to bite your lips.

“So…” he started.

“I’m going to briefly explain to you what your meeting will be about, boss,” you cut him off. He blinked a few times confused. It was the last thing he wanted to do with you right now.

“I think we have something to discus.”

“Yeah and it’s content of your meeting, boss.”

“Y/N.”

“No. As Jiho said, you have a meeting in an hour and you need to be prepared for it. You can’t risk loosing this connection. We can talk about whatever you want after the conference but I think it won’t be necessary.” Your tone made him clenched his fist. So you wanted to forget about yesterday’s night? It really meant nothing to you.

Next half an hour he spent learning useless information just to please you. He was looking at you the whole time, trying to understand what you were thinking. It was difficult for him, it was the best sex he ever had, and he was sure it was the same for you, yet you decided to not talk about this, to forget everything. He refused to let this happen, he wanted to repeat that night again and again.

"Okay, I think that’s all I can tell you. I will escort you to the meeting room and leave these files with you. You will definitely make it work,” you said finally.

He stood up and followed you to the elevator. You didn't talk, you didn't even spare a glance at him, making him more anxious than he already was. When the door closed themselves, he didn't hesitate. Without thinking, he pushed an emergency button. Elevator stopped between floors with a loud scraping sound.

“What the fuck B/N,” you yelled. You tried to push the button again, but he pinned you to the wall with his body.

“We are going to talk about yesterday’s night, whether you like it or not, Y/N,” he groaned into your ear. Your breath stopped in your throat and he noticed it. “Why did you leave without a word?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, really,” he mocked you, shoving his hand under your skirt. You shuddered when his slander fingers touched your core. “I’m sure you perfectly know what I’m talking about. Look how wet you are right now. And I barely touched you. You remember feeling of my cock inside you, right? Come on, Y/N, I know you want me.”

“You know nothing, B/N,” you whispered between moans. His fingers curled inside you, hitting your sensitive spot. You threw your head back. “Oh fuck.” His lips attacked your jaw, kissing it sloppily.

“I don’t think so. I definitely know how to make you feel good, kitten.” He removed his fingers and yanked your panties off of you. He unbuckled his jeans, picked you up and order you to wrap your legs around him. You obeyed and connected your lips together again. He entered you fast with a low groan. You were squeezing him tightly, and he felt like he was in heaven. It was perfect. Why the hell you wanted to forget about it?

Your arms wrapped around his neck and fingers tangled themselves in his hair. Sounds that were leaving your parted lips, brought him so close to his orgasm that he was ashamed of himself. “Come on, kitten, cum for me. I’m sure you want that.”

Your legs squeezed around him, bringing him even closer. You were purring into his ear with content.

“B/N… oh my god,” you moaned right after you came around him, pulling hardly on his hair. Your lewd moans brought him to his release shortly after you. He pushed inside you a few more times and didn’t pull out immediately. He stayed in the same position for a few more minutes, trying to catch his breath. He enjoyed your warmth too much for his liking.

“Don’t even try to ignore what happened yesterday and now, Y/N. I want this to happen regularly. And I know you want that, too,” he said. You nodded slowly, still unable to talk. He put you down, reached for your underwear and helped you put them on. He looked at you, foggy eyes, erratic breath and wrinkled clothes. You definitely looked like you just got fucked. He kissed the top of your head and push the emergency button. Elevator moved again. “Maybe you should cover your face with hair or something cause when someone sees you, they will know what just happened. Besides, I want to be the only one to have the privilege to see you like this.”

He smirked, pleased with the blush that appeared on your cheeks.

After what happened in the elevator, you had no chance to talk with B/N. You waited for him, still too shocked with what happened, but he was at the meeting for so long that Anna finally decided to drag you out of the company. You protested, telling her that you need to talk to him, but she wasn't listening.

That was why the next morning you were running from the parking lot with flushed cheeks, hoping that you would be faster than B/N at the office. You were more than excited to see him again. It was only few hours since you saw him last time but there was something thrilling about approaching meeting. The memories of his hands on your body, his lips on your forehead were as fresh as the morning sun, and they set your expectations for today high.

Every part of your body tingled with anticipation and excitation. No matter how much you wanted to calm yourself down, it was hard. Yes, there was a small voice at the back of your head, trying to convince you that this whole situation is bad and you shouldn't engage yourself into it after all but you were ready to ignore it. For now, at least.

There was still no solid reason for you to stop all of this. All of his words and touches were done unconsciously, he for sure didn't know what he was feeling, and as long as he didn't understand it, it was fine to go along with his... proposition. He seemed too naive to figure it out alone, and you had no intention to help him with that.

“Good morning Anna,” you sang, leaning on her desk. “Is B/N in his office?”

She looked at you with a soft smile. “Hey, no, he's not here yet.” She brought herself closer to you. “I didn't have a chance to ask you earlier. How it went with this guy?”

“What guy?” You squinted your eyes in confusion.

“Come on, the one from the bar.”

“Oh...” You scratched your neck, slightly uncomfortable. Memories of that night flooded your mind, and non of them included the guy she was referring to. You weren't even sure anymore how he looked. “Well, it didn't work out.”

Anna patted your hand placed on her desk. “Was it because of B/N? If yes, then I'm sorry. I told him...”

“Hey, chill,” you interrupted her. “I didn't say I've come back home alone.” You smirked at her.

“So?” You tilted your head in question. “Are you going to tell me more about it,” she asked with curiosity in her eyes.

“About what?” Anna jumped in her chair with a scream, and you turned your head rapidly, meeting B/N's gaze. He was standing so close that you felt his warmth on the side of your body and even hotter breath on your cheek. His eyes scanned your face, and slowly slid down to the low-cut of your dress. His hungry stare lingered there for a few seconds, making you grip the edge of Anna's desk harder, and then he turned to her. “What was so interesting that you didn't even notice me?”

Anna cleared her throat. “I- we...”

“Yes,” he insisted.

You leaned toward him, taking hold of yourself again. “What? Did that hurt your pride,” you asked playfully. He looked at you with squinted eyes and clenched jaw. If you saw him like this a few days ago, you would have said that he wanted to hit you. Now? Maybe he wanted it too but in completely different situation.

“Y/N.” His voice was laced with warning, and you were ready to push him even further. He tilted his head to the side, and then corner of his mouth twitched. He probably sensed what you were doing and it both excited and scared you. Were you really this easy to read? “To my office, now.”

Anna stood up. “Boss, we...”

“It's fine, I can take it,” you said with a shrug, following B/N. The moment she couldn't hear you, you added just for him, “I already did.”

As soon as you stepped into B/N's office and closed the door, he pinned you to them, trapping you between the cold surface and his hot body. His hands squeezed your hips painfully, making you flinch. He smirked, pleased with your reaction.

“Back to being cheeky?” He put his mouth on your neck and sucked harshly on sensitive skin. You bit on your lips, trying to suppress the moan.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” you gasped.

B/N backed away. “Okay then.” He moved to his chair and sat on it with a smirk plastered to his lips. “What is today's schedule?”

You looked at him with wide eyes. Your breath was uneven, and heart pounded furiously in your chest. Ghost of his touch still lingered on your body. You didn't understand what just happened. “I- why did you stop?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he mocked you.

With a groan, you approached him, put your hands on the armrests and lowered yourself a bit. “Don't fuck with me.”

“I thought you want me to,” he laughed.

Your jaw dropped in shock, and it wasn't just because of his words. He seemed a bit more... relaxed. Playful. You never saw him joking and that new side of him pulled you even harder to him. When you met him, it didn't cross your mind that he was capable of smiling, not to mention joking. And now he was smiling at you, in a sweet way almost, and it made your heart skip a beat once again. It was dangerous and scary, you knew it, but it was also nice, and you couldn't bring yourself to stop his little game yet.

Without thinking, you traced your fingers from his temple to the jaw. He watched you carefully with half-closed eyes. “Y/N?” You jerked your hand away, frightened by your own actions. You scolded yourself mentally for that moment of weakness. “Are you okay?”

His eyes scanned your face again. His brows were raised in question. He tried to look unmoved, but you knew he was concerned. Somehow, it was easier to read him now, as if he unconsciously decided to open up to you.

“Yeah, why wouldn't I?” You tried to step aside, scared of your emotions, but B/N pulled you closer. You lost your balance and landed on his knees. “Whoa, what?”

B/N moved his head closer to your neck, and placed a kiss on the spot he abused earlier. You hissed in pain. “I'm back to what I was doing.” His tongue slid over your skin, leaving wet trail in the process. He grabbed the hem of your dress, trying to pull it higher.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“You thought that I'm joking,” he asked without looking at you, too focused on leaving kisses all over your neck.

“No- well, maybe... hold on, we can't do it here.” You tried to stand up, but he held you in place, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“We can, and we will. I wanted to fuck you in my office from the first time I've seen you. The image of you bend over my desk haunted me for days, kitten. You're not going to run now.” His hand moved down under your dress, and he dragged one of his fingers on your clothed clit. You shuddered under his touch, leaning your head back on his shoulder. “You can't tell me you don't want it. Your actually wetter than I thought.”

“I've never said I don't want it,” you whined. “I simply don't want anyone to see us.”

His mouth was back at your neck, and he moved your undies to the side, sliding his fingers through your folds painfully slow. Your back arched, and shaky breath left your parted lips.

“Why do you care?”

“Can you shut u-,” loud moan cut you in the middle, when B/N pushed his fingers into you. You grabbed his forearm, not entirely sure for what reason. You wanted him to stop, but at the same time to go faster. He pumped his digits into you, curling them at the most perfect angle. You rolled your hips, earning a low groan from B/N. Just then you realized he was already hard and it hit you that he probably wanted it even before he entered the building.

You weren't sure how and when that happened but in one swift move he brought you to your feet, pushed you over his desk and leaned on your body. His hard dick brushed over your ass, and he hissed again. Your face was laying flat on the cold wood, cooling your feverish body a bit. You glanced around just in time to notice how B/N hastily undid his zipper and pulled out his reddened cock. He lifted his eyes and met your hungry gaze. With a smirk, he started sliding his hand up and down his length.

Although the view was mesmerizing, you wanted to feel him, to touch him, to have him inside you. And preferably, you wanted it as soon as possible. You turned to him, wrapped your fingers around his and tightened his grip. He took a sharp breath, leaning toward you.

“I want you, boss,” you purred in his ear.

His eyes snapped open. He wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you up, sitting you on the desk. He shook your hand off and stood between your legs eagerly. Your eyes didn't leave his, when he pushed your undies aside and slid in you. Your head flew backward, and long moan escaped your lips.

“Eyes on me,” he gritted through clenched teeth. His hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing it. Your breath got stuck in your lungs, and your vision got blurry. B/N groaned loudly. “Fuck, if only you could see yourself now, kitten.”

You gasped for air. You couldn't make any sound, you couldn't move, you were at his mercy, and it brought you even closer to the climax. The fact that he could do whatever he wanted with you made your head spin. With desire, but also with fear.

B/N loosened the grip on your throat and leaned closer. His lips were inches away from yours, when the door behind you flew open.

“B/N, do you rememb-,” Jiho said but cut himself as soon as he noticed the scene in front of his eyes. B/N looked at him angrily, not stopping his movements. You tried to free yourself, but he tightened his fingers on your neck once again, making you whine pathetically. Your whole face burned with embarrassment but you couldn't do anything. The burning feeling in your abdomen was dangerously close to spread through your body and you weakly patted B/N's hand to let him know. You didn't want to come while Jiho was watching.

B/N glanced at you, and without breaking eye-contact with you, he growled, “I'm busy now.”

“I can see.”

“Jiho, get the fuck out of here. Now.” It was hard for him to talk, his voice was strained and his moves became erratic. He was as close as you, and even though, he didn't care about Jiho seeing him in this state, he couldn't let his friend to see you like this.

You didn't hear Jiho's answer but as soon as the door clicked, your whole body trembled in ecstasy. Your vision darkened and you slapped B/N's hand a few times, scared that you could pass out. His arm fell on the desk, and he moaned a little too loud, reaching his high, too. He pressed his forehead on your shoulder, breathing hardly.

You dragged your fingers through his hair and yanked them hardly, lifting his head. “What was that, B/N,” you hissed.

“Hm,” he murmured dreamily.

“Why didn't you stop when Jiho...”

“There was no need.”

“No need?” You pushed him away, flinching at the loss of contact. “You fucking jerk.”

B/N grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You gasped, shocked. “Watch your mouth, kitten. Jiho is my friend. Besides, he saw me like this already.”

“But he didn't see me,” you mumbled. “Fuck.”

“Hey,” he lowered his gaze, “he saw nothing, only your back. I wouldn't let him enjoy this view.”

You took a deep breath. “It's embarrassing.”

B/N smiled sweetly and placed a kiss on your temple. “It's okay. Don't worry that pretty head of yours.” He dragged his fingers down your spine. “I would love to stay like this longer, but he's probably behind those damn door.”

“Yeah.” You took a step back and glanced at him. You bit your lips, trying to suppress the smile. “Maybe you should dress up first?”

B/N insisted that you should stay during his conversation with Jiho but you refused more times than it was necessary. He walked with you to the door, and before he opened them, he connected his lips with yours in a quick kiss. His hand slowly ran down your waist, smoothing your dress in the process.

“Prepare the documents for today's meeting. I will meet you at the conference room, okay?”

“Sure,” you said, and with rosy cheeks you left his office, averting Jiho's gaze.

B/N looked at his friend, annoyed. Without a word he moved back to his desk and sat on it with folded arms. Jiho followed him, smirk plastered to his mouth. He dropped down onto the chair, and nudged B/N's foot. “What?”

“I thought you wanted to ruin her life.”

“I still want to do it, man, but maybe... in a different way.”

Jiho laughed. “That's kinda funny, you know? You were all about how she's annoying, and she drives you crazy, and now you fuck her on your own desk. What's the difference now, huh?”

B/N stood up and turned to the big window. That was a good question. Something changed, and he still wasn't sure what exactly. “Honestly?”

“And how do you think?”

“I don't know,” he groaned. “It's just... yeah, she annoys me and stuff, but she pulls me to her in a weird way. And,” he brushed fingers through his hair, “fuck man, after I got a taste of her body, I can't forget about it. I dream about her, I want to touch her, wreck her... I just want her around me all the time. And I know what I've said earlier but... I'm not sure if this wasn't what I wanted from the beginning.”

Jiho was silent for some time but when he spoke up again, B/N froze in place. “Everything's cool but what about her past? She lied to us, and we still don't know why. Yes, she didn't do anything suspicious yet, but we can't be sure.”

“I do remember this,” he gritted through clenched teeth.

He felt like idiot because of this whole situation. Even though, he was aware that you were hiding something from him, he hired you. He knew, and yet he still wanted you around all the time. He tried to convince Jiho, and maybe even himself, that it was because he wanted to find out what were your motifs, but the truth was, he was simply interested in you. Even before the job interview, they found missing pieces in the background information you've provided them. There was something odd about it but no matter how hard they tried to look for any clue, they couldn't find anything other than what you've given them. It was almost like someone cleverly hid everything about you for some reason.

What made B/N even more anxious was the fact that he did and said a lot of terrible things to you, and you still stayed. He was sure that you had some hidden agenda in being his assistant, but he couldn't figure out what it could be.

And the fact that you were okay with every fucked up thing he did, scared the hell out of him. What have happened to you before you came to his company that you even were fine with Sheng's behavior?

“You remember, and yet you're falling for her,” Jiho said out of nowhere, interrupting his thoughts.

B/N turned rapidly. “Are you fucking kidding me? Me? Falling for someone?”

“That's how it looks to me, B/N, and it worries me. No matter what you think, I want you to find someone who will put up with your shit and will love you unconditionally, but I'm not sure if she's the best candidate.”

“I don't go in for love and relationships, Jiho. It's the same with her, I'm all in for her body and that's it,” he groaned annoyed, not sure if he himself believed that anymore.

“I hope you mean it.”

Silence fell over both of them and he winced. “What did you come here for in the first place,” he asked, trying to change the topic. In a very long time he didn't feel like this, judged and uncomfortable under someone's gaze, and he definitely didn't miss it. He wanted this feeling to pass as quickly as possible. Of course, he didn't blame Jiho for this, he was just worried about him and B/N appreciated it. But the thought of other people noticing some kind of change in him, irritated the hell out of him.

“Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask you if you remember that you're supposed to meet your family on Saturday.”

B/N groaned again. “No, I didn't but you just fucking reminded me of this.”

“You haven't seen them in a long time, man, you should go.”

“And I was perfectly okay with this,” he sighed, sitting in his chair.

It wasn't like he didn't like them... he hated them. Especially his stepmother and her fucked up son. They've made his life a living hell for so many years. There was no chance he would ever forgive them for what they did to him, for how their words and actions shaped him in to a person he was now. Even mention of them made him clenched his hands into fists.

“Then do it for your father.”

“I will think about it.”

After Jiho left his office, B/N had to force himself to do the same with all the strength he had in him. His head was full of thoughts, confusing him more than anything ever. Out of nowhere everything became complicated. And he was... scared. Scared that, in fact, something had changed. Scared that he couldn't understand why it happened exactly.

As soon as he left the elevator, he saw you and the guy he was having the meeting with, chatting casually. You were smiling and you looked like you enjoyed the conversation. Much to B/N's dissatisfaction. However hard he tried to remember, he never saw you so relaxed and comfortable around him. With him you always seemed careful and maybe even tensed, and the realization of this made him angrier than he already was.

“I must say, miss, that I'm kind of jealous of your boss.”

“And why is that,” you asked, laughing.

“Well, I hope you won't be mad at me for saying this, but I would love to have such a beauty as my assistant. It probably would make my day a lot better.”

You opened your mouth but before any sound left them, B/N put his hand on the small of your back, pressing it hardly into you. You turned your head, trying not to show any sign of pain on your face. B/N looked at you shortly with cold gaze and switched his attention to the man. “Oh it sure does make my day better, Kim.”

“You're pretty lucky. You know,” he said, glancing at you with a playful smile, “if you ever got tired of him, I would definitely find a place for you in my company.”

B/N pulled you closer to him. His jaw was clenched, and eyes deadly serious. He never liked Kim but at that moment he wanted to rip his head off. “Don't make me laugh. Even in your wildest dreams she won't spread her legs for you.”

You gasped shocked, jumping away from him. It seemed like you wanted to say something but eventually you stayed silent. They didn't even pay attention to you anymore.

“Are you sure about it?”

“You bet. Only I can have this pleasure,” B/N said with a smirk.

Kim glanced at you. “I stand by what I said, miss.”

“How about we talk on another day, Kim? If you stay here any longer, I don't know what I will do.”

“Like the old days, huh? Send me an email regarding new date.” He moved past B/N and stopped near you. “Remember what I said,” he winked at you with a smile.

B/N exhaled slowly, hanging his head low. Anger boiled inside him, making his heart speed. Why the fuck all the people around him wanted you for themselves? He finally found something... someone who made his days better and everyone wanted to steal you from him.

He raised his eyes, meeting your angry gaze.

You stormed in to the conference room, pulling confused B/N with you. You pushed him towards the wall, and with rage in your eyes you pointed the finger at the door. “What the fuck did you do just now? Is today a day to embarrass me or are you just stupid?”

“Y/N,” he warned, taking step forward.

“No, shut up.” You massaged your temple, trying to gather your thoughts. You weren't even that mad about what he said, or even what he did earlier in his office. The fact that he was clearly jealous made your blood boiled. It wasn't supposed to be like that. You thought that the chance of him seriously falling for you was small, but with each action he proved you wrong. He was already too deep with his feelings. And that was dangerous. “Why did you do it?”

“What exactly?”

“Don't play dumb, B/N. You were marking your territory as if we were in a relationship. News flesh, we are not, and don't forget that.”

He gritted his teeth. “I know this.”

“So why are you so jealous,” you shouted. “You did the same at the club. I'm not your damn property, we are just fucking, nothing more.” You ran your hand through hair annoyed to the core. You wanted him to get closer to you, to open up but not exactly this way, you didn't want him to fall in love with you. Not when you knew how it all would end. Sooner or later you would disappear from his life and you both would be left hurt if those feelings got any stronger.

“I'm not jealous, Y/N, I just don't like to share.”

You took a better look at him, he was extremely tensed, and his hands were clenched into fists. Even if he wanted to hide it, you saw how they tremble lightly, and you weren't sure if it was because he was this angry or if he was confused and overwhelmed with his own emotions. Either way there was no point in talking to him any longer. You were certain that he would try to calm you down or say something sweet that would melt your stupid heart, and you couldn't let that happen.

You sighed deeply. “Sure. You know what? Let's keep it professional for some time because it looks like too much sex gets you all confused.”

“Are you serious,” he asked, blinking in shock.

“Dead serious, boss,” you said, and hastily left the room, not giving him a chance to change your mind.

Ignoring B/N and focusing only on your work as his assistant wasn't an easy thing to do from the very beginning, and now... it was even harder. You tried to be as professional as possible, only do what was required from you, but B/N constantly reminded you of the uncertain status of your relationship. He was looking at you, and only you, whenever you were around, his hands reached for you even if it was just for the smallest touch, and he couldn't stop talking about how much you and this situation annoyed him. He reminded you at least once an hour how badly he wanted to go back to your deal.

You tried your hardest to resist him. It was both irritating and saddening. As much as you wanted to go back to how your relationship looked before, it wasn't possible. Deep down, even if you didn't want to admit it, you knew that you both were already too deep into each other and there was no really turning back now. You wished that you could stop it from developing even more but you weren't sure if it was still possible.

Dread was looming over you all the time. There was definitely no happy ending to it, you felt it in your bones.

As soon as you entered the office after the weekend, you knew, you just knew, that something would happen. The atmosphere was heavier than usual, even Anna seemed to be more uncomfortable than you've ever seen her. You sat on your chair and glanced at her suspiciously. She ignored you, too focused on the files in front of her.

“Anna,” you spoke up confused.

She glanced at you, surprised. “Oh, Y/N, hey. I didn't see you.”

“Yeah, I know. Something happened?”

“I'm sure it did,” she sighed, leaning in her chair. “You definitely noticed that B/N is acting... strangely for a few days now. Fuck, it's not possible not to notice, you'd have to be blind not to see it. But today... I- I'm kind of worried about him. He came into the company, looking so fucking depressed, he didn't want anything from me, said basically nothing beside cancel my meeting today and locked himself in his office. He seems so down, I've never seen him like this, it's not like him at all.”

You looked at the door to B/N's office sadly.

It wasn't suppose to happen. None of it. You thought that after so much time, you would be out of this place already. You were sure you would leave this whole mess behind you, without regrets and, most importantly, without such strong feelings towards B/N. You had no plan to fall in love with him, and you were definitely on such track. Hatred was the only thing you were supposed to feel. And it should have been the same for him.

“Y/N, can you... you know, talk to him,” Anna asked with hope in her voice.

“I don't think it's a good idea.”

“Just try. You're closer to him than any other person in this company.” You opened your mouth to protest but Anna shushed you. “If not for him, then do it for me. I can't take this anymore.”

You took a deep breath. If only it was as easy as you think.

“Please, Y/N,” she begged.

“Fuck... okay, I can try but I can't guarantee anything,” you said, standing up. With heavy heart and trembling hands you approached his office. You knocked on the door but you didn't hear any answer. Hesitantly, you came inside and frozen instantly. Papers were scattered all around the room and among them, on the floor, B/N was sitting with head hidden in his hands. You came closer to him and knelt. “Hey, B/N, are you okay?”

He raised his head slowly and looked at you with sad eyes. Dark circles on his face were bigger than you've ever saw on him, his clothes were wrinkled and it looked like he didn't shave for, at least, three days. It wasn't like him. He seemed fragile and broken, and that hurt you more than anything. “What are you doing to me, Y/N,” he said weakly.

You sat across him and took a deep breath. “I'm not doing anything to you. It's all in your head.”

“Sure,” he laughed. “I knew you would say something like this. What else could I expect from you, huh?”

“What?”

“Come on, I'm sure you feel the same as me, but for some fucking reason you deny it all the time.”

You rolled your eyes annoyed. “Like you? That means what exactly?”

“I don't know, I can't describe it, but I'm sure that there is something. Something that pulls me closer to you. Something that I can't resist.” He extended his hand, trying to reach you but you moved back. He laughed again. “See?”

Your heart was racing furiously. He was right. He was so damn right, but you couldn't tell him this. You weren't doing this just for your peace of mind but also for him. You didn't want him to suffer later on. Actually, that was the last thing you wanted. “B/N, it's all...”

“In my head, right,” he interrupted you. “Quit the bullshit already. We both know you're trying to convince yourself, not me.”

You stood up abruptly. Your hands were trembling in frustration. “B/N... for fuck's sake, get your shit together. I don't need to convince myself because I know that the only thing between us is sex. Nothing more. You should finally see this too, you're only making yourself look more pathetic.”

“So it's my fault now,” he hissed, getting on his feet, too.

“After all, it was you who proposed this deal.”

“Yeah, right. But you eagerly agreed to it. Oh, and don't forget that you begged me to fuck you that night when we left the club.”

“I was fucking drunk and horny,” you yelled. “It didn't matter. Should I remind you that I was ready to sleep with someone else? No, wait, it won't fit in your narrative, right?”

You could have sworn that you saw like all his strength left his body. He leaned against his desk, turning his head the other way. “Why are you doing this,” he asked quietly. Cold hand of pain squeezed your heart painfully. Seeing him like this was hard, and you were sure that any more minute spent there would end up in your defeat.

“B/N, listen to yourself. Stop overthinking it and just listen to what you're saying,” you sighed, turned around without second glance at him and left his office before tears rolled down your cheeks.

He watched as you were leaving his office and, as much as he wanted to go after you, he stopped himself. His head was spinning with too many thoughts. Was he wrong about your relationship? Did you really feel nothing? That's how it looked like. That was the only logical answer to your coldness during this conversation that he could come up with. You seemed not affected at all by this situation, you were still as beautiful and lively as always.

And he was the opposite. For the past few days he couldn't sleep, eat, and there was no room in his head for caring about his looks. He just didn't care. The only thing that he was constantly thinking about was you, and only you.

There was no point in denying it anymore, he fell for you. He was terrified by that thought but that was the truth. For the first time in his life he finally felt alive, even if that lasted only two days. There was something in you that made him feel things he didn't know he could experience. He always thought that love wasn't for him, after all even his family wasn't capable of loving him. He never experienced it, or simply didn't remember. But that wasn't the point.

The point was that he didn't know that he was able to love anyone.

And now that he miraculously found someone who woke up those feelings in him, he was left alone with all of this. Left in fear and confusion.

You leaned against the door with closed eyes and heavy breath. It was too late to save him from pain now. It was okay for you, you got used to feeling broken and alone but the thought of him feeling the same hurt you more than anything. You really tried to prevent this but B/N was probably in love with you long before he'd proposed that deal. And now there was nothing you could do. You could avoid him, ignore him, tell him every awful thing you could come up with, but there was no use in doing this.

There was only one thing you could do but you didn't have the strength to do it yet. Leaving him, leaving all this mess behind you, was probably the best thing you could do, but you wanted to be selfish for once. You wanted to spend some more time with him, even if that meant just looking at him from afar. Even if that meant that you would need to disappear from, not only his life, but lives of other people around you... Markus, Anna, and especially Kyo.

Just few more days and you would leave. As far as possible.

You wiped the tears from your face and approached Anna. She looked up at you and when she noticed your reddened eyes, she sighed. “It didn't work out?”

“No. I would even say that I made it worse.”

“Oh fuck. What happened to him?”

“I- I don't know.” You glanced at the door to his office with guilt. You knew all to well what happened, after all it was your fault.

Before you had a chance to turn around, the door opened and B/N came out of the room. He looked even worse than just a few minutes before. He seemed smaller... weaker. It was as if all the hope he had in him before your conversation was gone now. Your heart stopped at the sight and the only thing you wanted was to take him in your embrace and tell him that it would be alright. But that would be a lie, and you didn't want to deceive him even more.

He looked at you sadly and passed by you without a word. Anxious, you grabbed his arm, making him turn around. His eyes landed on your hand tightly wrapped around his and you could see on his face how hard it was for him to not react.

“Where are you going,” you asked.

“Home, or bar, I don't know. I can't be here any longer.”

“Boss,” Anna started. “Is everything all right? Are you okay?”

B/N laughed sadly. “Do I look like I'm okay? Shit, I'm far from being okay.”

“Can we talk once more,” you proposed, ready to give in. You couldn't look at him in this state anymore. It was too hard.

“No, we can't. There's nothing to talk about, Y/N.”

You tried to stop him, you really did, but he yanked his arm away and disappeared in the elevator, leaving you with heart shattered into pieces.

You felt like this once, and you prayed to all gods that you would not feel it ever again. It was too similar to what you experienced in your childhood, being left alone with no hope, no positive emotions. The only thing existing in your broken heart was sadness and loneliness. Fuck, maybe what you felt right now was even worse. Back then, there was no guilt in you, but now it filled every part of your body in the most painful way.

You called B/N many times during that day, but he never picked up. At some point he finally turned his phone off, leaving you without any way to track him. You were more than worried. Seeing how badly he was dealing with this, you feared that he would do something stupid. And you couldn't stop thinking about what would happen later... when you leave. If he was so depressed with you still around him, how would he react to the situation where he couldn't see you anymore?

When you finally left the company and got to your apartment, you couldn't deal with your thoughts and emotions any longer. Rain that was falling on you heavily, was mixing with your bitter tears, and making you even colder than you were.

You got on your floor and frozen immediately. Your breath got stuck in your throat and the bag you held in your hand fell on the floor. “B/N?”

He looked at you with slightly reddened eyes and leant against the door more. “Hey.” His voice was hoarse and filled with so much pain that you couldn't bear it.

“What are you doing here?”

He sighed deeply. “You know, I wanted to drink, to get wasted until I lost consciousness but I had no strength to deal with people. I never really had, but... it's harder today. Every time I got caught in my thoughts, I saw your face, I could fucking smell your fragrance. So I came here. I don't even know how it happened,” he laughed. “I was thinking about you and suddenly I was here. That's fucked up, right?”

You came closer to him, and just then you noticed how much he trembled. His clothes were wet, sticking to every part of his body. “You shouldn't be here.”

“Yeah, I know but I couldn't help myself. I can't deal with this anymore. Is it so wrong that I want you close? Is it, Y/N?”

You extended your hand and slowly brushed through his wet hair. He closed his eyes, leaning in your touch. You were weak, maybe weaker than him actually. Of course, there was a part of you that wanted to push him away from you but it was small. Definitely too small, taking into consideration what you were going to do.

“B/N, get up.”

“I don't want to leave. Don't make me, please,” he begged. He grabbed your hand in his and squeezed it harder than necessary.

“I want you to move out of the way, so we can go into my apartment.”

In no time he was on his feet, standing so close to you that you could feel how his chest was raising and falling with each breath. “You really mean it?”

“Yeah, I do. I can't look at you in this state,” you said, opening the door for both of you. You got inside and headed straight to the bathroom to get two towels. When you came back, B/N was standing in your living room, looking strangely at every empty shelve. You threw one of the towels at him. “Here, dry yourself a bit. I'm gonna look for something for you to wear. Even though it's going to be hard.”

You didn't even notice that he followed you to your bedroom. Only when you turned around with pair of too big sweatpants in hands, you saw him. He was standing at the entrance with hope in his eyes, making your insides burnt.

“Why can't you look at me,” he asked.

“What?”

“You said you can't look at me in this state, why?”

You handed him the pants. “Change into this, and we will talk, okay?” He nodded but didn't move. “B/N, really. You will get sick if you stay in those wet clothes. I promise you, we will talk.”

He smiled. “You don't have any shirt for me, do you?”

“Not really, I will give a blanket or some shit, sorry.” You quickly grabbed something for you to change into and headed to the bathroom, leaving B/N in your room.

You weren't sure what you were doing, your only plan was to invite him to your house and let him warm up a bit. The rest was up to the fate, whatever was about to happen... you were ready to take it. You were scared, yes, but there was no return now.

“Are you okay with black tea,” you yelled, taking two cups from the shelf.

“Yeah,” he answered, and you almost dropped the cups, startled by the proximity of B/N's voice. You turned your head and saw him standing by the table with only sweatpants on. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw his beautiful body again. He was still as perfect as you remembered him. Your cheeks started to burn, so you moved back to your previous position, trying to hide it.

“There's... um- there's a blanket on the sofa. And... well, you can stay there, I will join you in a few minutes.” There was something about that situation that made you weirdly embarrassed. You saw B/N naked already, not only without a shirt, he was at your house before, and yet you were feeling more nervous than ever. Was it because now you were aware of the feelings between the two of you?

With cups in trembling hands you came to the livingroom and sat next to B/N on the sofa. He was wrapped tightly in the blanket, and as soon as you put the cups down, he grabbed one and took small sip of the tea. “Thanks.”

It was awkward. The silence that surrounded you, was suffocating you, but you didn't know what to say. You weren't sure were to start that conversation, but on the other hand, you couldn't sit like this any longer. You were more than uncomfortable.

“So,” B/N started finally. “Can you answer my previous question?”

You glanced at him, gnawing on your bottom lip. “I... well, you looked terribly, and you had wet clothes on. You know, I didn't want you to get sick.”

“That's all?”

“And what else did you expect?”

B/N put his cup down and turned in his place so that he was facing you. His knee was touching your thigh, spreading heat all over your skin. “Can we be... honest with each other, Y/N?”

You tightened your fingers around the mug. Honest? I wish I could be honest. “But that's what I felt like. I was just worried you would get sick.”

“So you were worried about me,” he said, smiling softly.

“That's what you wanted to hear?”

“Yeah.”

It was so weird to see him so relaxed and happy. He acted as if he was completely different person now. It was a nice change, you couldn't deny it, but it would probably be better for both of you, if he was still the same cold man from before.

“Do you...,” he mumbled, looking at your hands, “do you really believe in what you said to me at my office? You know, do you think that what I feel is just my imagination?”

You sighed. “I don't know. I- I'm too confused with all of this. For a long time you acted as if you hated me, and suddenly... suddenly, you started to be nicer and stuff. I didn't expect you to be like this, I didn't expect any change. I heard that you have no feelings... no heart even, that you don't care about people, so your behavior now messes with my head.”

“It's not like you're the only one who's confused. I don't really understand my emotions. I've never felt like this. You know, worrying about someone, wanting to be close to them... it's new to me and I'm not sure what does it mean.”

You glanced at him, he was averting your gaze, too focused on his own hands. He did look extremely disoriented and bothered by this whole situation. He was acting like a small child, learning about new emotions, and trying to understand them. You wanted to tell him what it meant but... there was still part of you that was too terrified of what would come after this. It was better that he didn't realize he was in love with you. Maybe he would never figure this out and when you finally leave, he would forget about you.

But you didn't have the strength to end it yet. For now, even if it was just for few more days, you wanted him around... you wanted to feel loved for the first time in your life.

You placed your hand on his neck and leant towards him. His eyes scanned your face in confusion. “I'm not sure about any of this, B/N, but I can't push you away anymore. You were so depressed for the past few days that I couldn't even look at you. I don't want that.”

He locked his eyes with yours for a second, and then he kissed you.

You wrapped your arms around B/N's neck automatically. You missed him, you missed the touch and warmth of his body on you. It was something you definitely craved more than anything else. His hands squeezed your hips lightly, and he pulled you closer, sitting you on his lap. Your bodies were pressed together, and the only thing separating you from his skin was your thin t-shirt. You wanted to get rid of it, to finally feel him properly.

You moved back a bit, breathing heavily. Your hands were shaking when you grabbed your shirt and took it off. Just as quickly you removed your bra and clung to B/N, throwing your hands around his neck again. Feeling of his hot skin on yours was probably one of the best feelings you've ever experienced. It made your whole body tingle in a really wonderful way, and you were sure you would miss it later on.

B/N's hand slid over your back in a gentle way, and his fingers got tangled in your hair. He pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. “You're so damn beautiful.” Your eyes widened at his words and you tried to hide your face in the crook of his neck, too embarrassed and scared, but he kept you in place. “Nuh-uh, I want to see your face, kitten. I really missed this view.”

“You saw me every day,” you mumbled.

“Yeah, but not like this,” he said with a smile and kissed you. His lips weren't as persistent as usually. Hell, he was so gentle that it shocked you to the core. His touch was light as a feather, almost as if he was scared he could have hurt you.

His hands traveled down your waist, landing on your hips. He massaged the skin just above where your sweatpants ended, making you shiver in his arms. His mouth left yours, and he put them on your neck, leaving delicate kisses all over it. He wasn't rushing anything. It seemed like he wanted to savor every second of it, to extend it as much as possible.

It felt amazing, yes, but you were too impatient. You missed him more than you've expected. You rolled your hips against him, gaining a low moan from him. His head dropped down on your shoulder and his breath got uneven. He tried to stop you but he didn't have enough strength to do it. He only squeezed your hips tighter and enjoyed your movements. When the hardness of his dick got more prominent, you couldn't take it any longer. You stood up, confusing B/N.

“What...” he started but shut up when you took your pants off. His eyes darkened and he licked his lips. You came back at your previous spot and rolled your hips again. This time moan left your lips.

You wanted him, you wanted him more than ever. Your hand reached into his pants and wrapped around his length, giving it a few slow strokes and collecting precum from its tip. B/N's head flew back in ecstasy. His moans were the only thing you could hear, and you loved it. You loved every little sound that was leaving his lips. You pulled his dick out of the pants and then slowly licked your fingers, looking directly into B/N's eyes. He hardly swallowed at the sight.

You put your lips on his ear, moving your whole body closer to his. His length brushed over your core and you shuddered. “B/N,” you whispered, dragging your tongue on his earlobe, “can you fuck me already?”

He looked at you. His eyes were filled with hunger and something else, something you couldn't really name. He wrapped his arm around your waist and lifted you a bit. “I'm not gonna fuck you this time, kitten.”

“You...” you began, but he lowered you on his dick, shutting you up. Your head hit his chest and your fingers tighten around his bicep. Your mind went blank automatically, the only thing you could have focus on was the feeling of him inside you. That heavenly feeling of his closeness you missed so much.

But there was something different now. It all felt differently. B/N's thrusts were slow and careful, his hand stroked your hair softly, and his lips were pressed to the side of your head. There was no sign of his previous roughness. This time he was handling your body with affection, care and... love. No one ever touched you like this, no one ever was as gentle as him. It felt new, breathtakingly even, filling your heart with emotions so strong that it almost hurt.

You raised your head and locked your eyes with his. He was looking at you as if you were the prettiest woman on the planet, as if you were the only one he ever wanted. Unable to handle all of this, you kissed him.

B/N pushed the hair out of your face, and traced his fingers on your temple. You looked so peacefully like this, your lips were parted lightly and eyelashes cast a delicate shadow on your cheeks. It was the first time he saw you deep in sleep this close, and he loved it. He didn't mind seeing you like this often. Hell, he wished he could do it every day.

He lowered himself and kissed your forehead carefully. “Stay with me, Y/N.”

[catharsisxf]

I'm an embarrassingly slow writer so I won't be posting a fic per day but I'll hopefully make it through a few of these prompts from @msrafterdark!

Dashing through the Snow

Rating: G

Prompt: Best Christmas ever

AO3 link

____________________

S,

Meet me tomorrow at the base of the Masonic Temple. 9am. Dress warmly.

-M

Scully had gotten back to the office rather late on Friday after an autopsy had gone longer than expected. Still she was surprised that Mulder had seemingly already left for the weekend. As intrigued as she was by the note he'd left on her desk she sincerely hoped she hadn't gotten up early on the weekend for a case. It was only a couple days before Christmas and she really really needed to finish her shopping.

The Masonic Temple in Alexandria was situated at the top of large hill that gave impressive views of the surrounding area. Last night was the first decent snowfall of the season and as she trudged up one of the pathways leading to the building she noticed numerous families sledding down the terraced hillsides.

She spotted him immediately as she made it to the top of the hill. Wearing the bright green alien knit hat she got him as a gag gift last year he was practically bouncing up and down scanning the crowds for her. His toothy grin as he spotted her made her insides flip in a way that she wasn't quite ready to acknowlege.

"Right on time!" he beamed. He gestured to the large wooden toboggan next to him and waggled his eyebrows playfully.

"Mulder," she said as if he'd just presented her a slideshow about Bigfoot being personally responsible for crop circles. "You can't be serious."

"C'mon Scully, this is one of the best sledding locations in the area. We can't pass this up!"

She smirked at his giddiness and eventually nodded in acceptance. Mulder positioned the toboggan at the edge of the slope and motioned for her to have a seat. She had assumed they'd be taking turns but was surprised when he situated himself snugly behind her. Reaching around her to grab the strap he nudged them forward slightly. "Ready?" She nodded. Unsure of what to do with her hands she grasped his upper arms tightly.

As they took off down the hillside they quickly gained speed, the other riders becoming a blur in her peripheral vision. She felt a couple moments of weightlessness as they careened over the terraced slope. Coming to a stop at the bottom she felt breathless both from adrenaline and the feeling of Mulder's warm body wrapped around her.

"Whoo!" he exclaimed. "Let's go again! His enthusiasm was contagious and she found herself racing him back up to the top.

After a few more runs they headed back to their cars in comfortable silence, Mulder dragging the toboggan behind him. "The last Christmas I spent with Samantha we went sledding," he said suddenly. Scully glanced at him in surprise but he kept his eyes trained on the ground. "There were a couple places around the island where you could sled and she begged me for days to take her. It snowed Christmas morning so we spent all day sledding. She was so happy." He slowed and finally looked at her. "It was the best Christmas ever," he said quietly, a wistful smile on his face.

Her heart broke for the boy who whose world was shattered so long ago. Not for the first time she wondered how different he would be now if his childhood memories weren't forever tinged with sadness around the edges.

Stopping in front of her car she raised on her tiptoes and gave him a lingering kiss on his wind-reddened cheek. Pulling back she saw his eyes open slowly and a dreamy look on his face. "Merry Christmas, Mulder."

"Best Christmas ever," he whispered.

[beckzorz]

WORLD ON FIRE (2/12)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader; background skinny!Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter Warnings: Canon-typical violence; language; sexual content. Summary: Brooklyn, 1948. Bucky Barnes, war hero, lives three floors down, and the evenings he comes to watch the sunset with you on the fire escape are the best times in your shabby life. But reality is far uglier than it seems when swinging your legs six floors up with Bucky at your side. On top of a good-for-nothing brother and a poor family upstate, there’s a new mob hitman in town: the Winter Soldier. A/N: Written for @cametobuyplums Fizz’s 2000 Plums Writing Challenge—thanks Fizz! xoxo

2. Wednesday, May 28

Dawn comes too soon for your liking. The birds outside are making their usual early morning racket, and you grumble to yourself as you reach over to close the window. The touch of nighttime chill sends a shiver along your body. You yank your shawl around your shoulders as you wobble over to your galley kitchen and flip on the radio.

Quiet jazz pipes through your little apartment. You hum along as you fry up toast and eggs in the same pan you’ve been using for years. The handle is scuffed, the bottom blackened with use, and you sigh wistfully as you think of the day when you’ll have new things, nicer things. Like your friends, the lucky ones who still spend every Sunday afternoon with you in Prospect Park. Times like this, holed up with your old frying pan, you can’t help but wonder at it. Mary’s a typist for a fancy company in Manhattan; Goldie works for a bank, handling more money than you can imagine. Their pots and pans are shiny, bright enough to catch any man’s eye. Mary’s got a fellow, a nice one with a steady job; Goldie’s always had a string of jaw-dropped admirers at her beck and call. You… You don’t.

Would you even want a slew of suitors? You picture a long line of them, tall and suited and hatted, faces in shadow, and you shudder. No, men with fancy suits and fedoras aren’t your type. Your eyes have always fallen elsewhere. It’s gotten you nowhere, of course, but—well, you’re not so fickle as all that.

Loveless or not, fancy job or not, Mary and Goldie have stuck by you. You adore them for it. Beyond that, you like them. They’re lovely, and it’s nice to listen to them, too—nice to imagine yourself, one day, in their shoes.

And then there’s your brother. You grimace as you plate up your breakfast. Best not to think about him too early in the morning, or you’ll give yourself indigestion.

If nothing else, breakfast is good.

Your eyes drift around your apartment as you chew. You still have to make your bed. There’s a faded paisley tablecloth under your plate, the same one you remember from your faint memory of visiting your aunt with your mother as a toddler. There are still hints of your aunt here and there, but it’s your photo album on the shelf, your favorite books. Here, at least, you’ve made a mark on your own.

—

You slip in the side door to Dr. Simon’s house ten minutes early. His house is one of the nicest in the neighborhood—five stories all to himself. Well, himself and his live-in help.

“Morning, Alice,” you call as you bound down to the basement kitchen.

Alice, fifty-odd and pleasantly wrinkled, glances up from the pile of dishes at the sudsy sink as you burst out from the stairwell, a grin on your face.

“Nice to see you in early for a change,” Alice teases. She nods her head at a plate of warm biscuits. A just reward for a bad night’s sleep.

“Mmm, fank you,” you say around an unladylike chomp. You swallow. “And I’m almost always early!”

“Well, if you say so,” Alice says, laughing. She scrubs at a baking dish—it’s shiny, of course—and quirks her brow at you. “You know someone’s already here?”

“Whaa?!” You nearly spit out your second bite and stare dumbly at the clock. “But—I’m early!”

“It’s that Rogers boy,” Alice says. She shudders. “Poor thing.”

“Rogers boy?” you repeat. “He’s older than me! Don’t tell me I’m a girl.”

“To me, you’re both children,” Alice says. She scrubs harder at the baking dish. “And I can’t help feeling sorry for him. All those ailments, and his poor ma dead near ten years, and him still struggling to scrape along…”

You swallow the last of your biscuit and brush the crumbs off your fingers into the wastebasket. “Golly, Alice, he’s doing alright, isn’t he? Didn’t he meet a girl?”

“Well, but she’s English.”

A roll of your eyes as you pick up the plate to bring to the living-cum-waiting room. “Alright, Alice. See ya later.”

Alice waves goodbye, and you head upstairs. You push the basement door shut with your foot and wander through the dining room, glancing curiously at the curtained glass doors to Dr. Simon’s office. Steve Rogers has always fascinated you, if only because he’s friends with Bucky. Anyone, anything, attached to Bucky Barnes grabs your attention whether you care for it to or not.

You’ve met Steve in passing a few times. He’s always been polite, unassuming until someone did something stupid. You can’t help the twitch in your lips when you think of Steve Rogers, no taller than you and far skinnier, threatening any fool who dared do something he deemed wrong.

Strange, too, to consider how skinny artist Steve Rogers and boxing-champion-turned-war-hero Bucky Barnes grew to be such good friends. You don’t know how they met. Was Steve always so reckless? Was Bucky always so protective? A strange duo, but it seemed to work. At any rate, the few times you’d seen Bucky’s fond exasperation towards Steve, with his big soul and righteous indignation, your heart had melted a little more.

Steve’s low voice filters through the office doors, and you shake your head to clear your thoughts. He’s a patient, not your friend.

Biscuits go on the table in the waiting room, and you glide up the fancy staircase in the foyer as elegantly as you can manage. You settle at your desk in the upstairs office, ankles crossed as you check today’s roster of appointments. Old Ms. Flynn will be in at nine, Mrs. Barnett with her son Teddy around nine-thirty, and so on. Lunch at eleven-thirty; you’ll have to tell Alice to have it ready earlier than usual, but that can wait. First, to type up all of yesterday’s notes for their files.

The day passes in a hazy blur. It’s warm, almost sticky in the office. But there’s a fresh bouquet with lavender on your desk from the front garden, and lunch is delicious, and you get to leave a little early. All in all, a nice Wednesday.

—

… Or not.

When you turn the corner onto your street, you stop short. The woman behind you almost bowls you over, and your surprised gasp catches the attention of the young man sitting on your stoop.

Your brother.

“Sis!”

His babyish face breaks into a sunny grin as he pops to his feet. You sigh and walk over to him, your smile half forced.

“Hi, David.”

David bounds over and wraps you in a too-tight hug.

“I’ve gotta breathe, you goober,” you tell him crossly. You wriggle out of his grip and clutch your purse tightly against your side. “What’re you doing here?”

“Special delivery for my favorite big sister,” David says. “Aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

“Fine. Come in, I guess.” You pull out your key and open the door, glancing up and down the street. No one you know, not yet at least.

David whistles as he waits, seemingly oblivious to your obvious discomfort. But after weeks with no word from him, you’ve started to hear things. Things you don’t want to hear, things you wish you could refute.

But you can’t, because you don’t know anything anymore. The sweet eighteen-year old who went off to war came back at twenty with a bad streak. Your baby brother isn’t innocent anymore, whether you know the details or not.

And for the love of god, you really don’t want to know the details.

Five flights up pass in silence, save for his light, cheerful whistle. You’re used to the climb, and David’s never been a whiner. He’s a lot of things, but not that.

You lock the door behind you, glancing around your apartment for anything valuable you’ve left out. Well, not that you have much of value. Everything you do have is all stashed in the usual hiding spots.

Honking from the street has you hurrying to the window. You peer at the empty fire escape and yank the curtains closed.

One deep breath, and then you turn back to David with arms crossed. He’s already sprawled in one of your two rickety chairs, spinning a coin between his fingers. Neat trick, but you’re not impressed. He’s always been good with his hands.

“A delivery, huh?”

He rolls his eyes and pouts. “C’mon, sis, you can put in a little more effort. Aren’t you happy to see me? I came all this way…”

“From where? I don’t even know where you live anymore! Or where you’ve been—”

“Oh, don’t be a worrywart,” he says. “I’m doin’ peachy.” He tugs an envelope out of his pocket, eyes glinting as he holds it up. “And this is for the folks back home. Think you can send it over for me? I never did like the post office.”

The envelope sags a little in his grip. You step closer and take it, eyes widening at the weight. It’s not sealed—you peek inside.

You grip the edge of the table, knees weak. Bills. Twenty dollar bills, a hefty bunch. More than you’ve ever seen in a single place.

“David,” you gasp. “How do you have this?!”

He shrugs.

“David,” you repeat, “how?”

You sink into the other chair, heart hammering. A thousand guesses flash though your head, but you push them all aside as you wait for the truth. The truth, or whatever twisted version of it your brother will tell you.

“Found a good job,” he says. He looks hopeful, earnest, almost like that innocent eighteen-year old who sailed to war. “Ain’tcha proud of me, sis?”

Your heart breaks. You set the envelope aside and grab his hands.

“Oh David, they’ll be so happy. This’ll mean so much to them.”

“Grandma can get her medicine easy as pie,” David says, eyes bright. “And maybe even some good meat for a change.”

You nod, tears pricking at your eyes. You can’t tell him how disappointed you are, not when he’s so darn earnest, so happy to be doing his part to help the folks back home.

After months of nothing from him, you’ll take this, no questions asked. For your family, for those bright eyes, you’ll do it.

—

David teases you over dinner—food you bought, food you cooked—and drops a sloppy kiss on your cheek as he bounds out at twilight. His bright smile never dropped once he’d gotten your approval, and as you watch him go the first half-flight down, you can tell he’s still grinning.

It doesn’t matter that your approval is forced, or that he had to fudge the truth to get it. He’s happy. That’s what matters.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself. You don’t like to think of David as a liar. He’s your brother. You love him. If you don’t know what he is, what he does—well, it’s easier that way. For both of you.

[baronessblixen]

And May All Your Wishes Come True

Day three: Christmas list/wishes

I'm doing the 24 Days of X-Mas Files Challenge that msrafterdark posted!

Summary: What's Mulder's wish for Christmas? (fluff, wc: 1,395)

Tagging @today-in-fic

They are finishing up their latest case at the police station, with Scully filling out forms and both of them waiting for the social worker. Once more, the case has turned out not to be an x-files; rather than suspected werewolves, they’ve busted a cult that believed in human sacrifices to be performed at full moon. And not just any human sacrifices either.

Children.

There were so many children hidden away. Some who their parents had brought, and others who had been kidnapped. She still gets ice-cold shivers running down her spine, thinking of the small, terrified faces they’ve encountered.

Most children have been taken home to their desperate parents or to relatives. There’s only one boy left who doesn’t have anyone. And right before the Christmas holidays, too. She glances over at the boy who is sitting with Mulder and hanging on his every word. The sight causes a funny feeling in her stomach. She knows exactly what it is – and why – but she doesn’t want to admit it to herself. Even in the privacy of her own thoughts.

“Mr. Mulder,” the child says, unwrapping a piece of chocolate that Mulder must have had in his pocket. “Do you think Santa is real?”

“Oh, I know he is,” Mulder says with a smile.

“Really?” The boy scoots closer to him. “Have you seen him?”

“I have.”

Scully smiles. She just can’t help it. Despite everything, the boy trusts Mulder. He��s stuffed the chocolate into his mouth and is chewing noisily, staring at Mulder with his big brown eyes. There’s that feeling again, tugging at her insides. She tries to ignore it, but she can’t.

If she squints, she can just imagine that this child isn’t a stranger. That he isn’t someone else’s baby. With his shaggy brown hair he could be a mini Mulder. He could be Mulder’s and hers. But he isn’t. She knew that the IVF would mess with her hormones and her emotions, but she can’t let them overwhelm her. She needs to keep a professional distance. For the child’s sake and her own.

“Do you think Santa will still find me when I’m not home?” The boy’s demeanor has changed. He’s solemn now, his voice cracking with worry.

“He will, Jason,” Mulder assures him in a gentle tone. He touches Jason’s shoulder and squeezes it. “No matter where you are, Santa knows you and he will find you. Have you written a wish list for him? I’ll make sure he gets it.”

“You will?” The excitement in the boy’s voice returns. He’s almost in Mulder’s lap now, grinning up at him with so much hope and happiness that it breaks Scully’s heart.

“Of course. Santa is an old buddy of mine.”

“You’re the coolest, Mr. Mulder. But,” he trails off, a shaky sigh leaving his mouth.

“But what, Jason?”

“I didn’t write a list,” he says in a small voice. “I- we weren’t allowed to… I don’t think Santa would have come to that place.”

“Hey,” Mulder says, taking the boy under his arms and putting him in a chair. “I have an idea. Why don’t you write your Christmas list right here? There’s still some time. Let me- Scully, do you have a pen and some paper for us?” Both Mulder and Jason turn to her, wearing similar expressions. She swallows, not allowing her thoughts to go down that road again.

“Of course,” she says, finding her voice. All she has at hand is the bill from their motel. She folds it in half and hands it to Mulder who mouths a thank you. She’s just about done with filling out her form, so she gives him her pen, too.

“Here you go, Jason.”

“It won’t take long,” he says, already scribbling away. “I know exactly what I want.” Mulder and Scully exchange a look and exhausted smiles. After so many years together, she can read his face easily. She knows what he’s thinking. Her own secret thoughts that she didn’t want to admit to herself are written across Mulder’s face now.

She has to look away, afraid that if she doesn’t, she’ll start crying. They have one chance left. Just one. The IVF was a long shot to begin with but with every shot they take that doesn’t work, she just wants it more. And she wants it with Mulder. It’s not a new realization at all. After all, she asked him to be the sperm donor. But seeing him with Jason today has solidified her choice. It’s Mulder. In each and every way, it’s Mulder that she wants.

While Jason writes his Christmas list, the social worker arrives. Scully exchanges a few words with her and asks where they’re taking the boy. He has family on the other side of the country and that’s where he’ll go after the holidays.

Scully looks at him, at this boy whose tongue is peeking out while he draws a Christmas tree with presents under it on his list. He’s going to be fine. He’s going to get a home and a family who’ll love him the way he deserves.

“Jason, are you ready?” The social worker asks him.

“Just a second,” he says, turning to Mulder. “Have you written your Christmas list yet, Mr. Mulder?”

“I’m too old for Santa to visit me.” Mulder chuckles, but Jason shakes his head.

“You said you’re buddies. You have to have a wish, Mr. Mulder. I left you some space here.” The boy points at a blank space on the paper, right next to a doodle of a wrapped present. “You have to write it down,” Jason explains to him. “Or it won’t come true.”

“This is your list,” Mulder reminds him but the boy is adamant.

“What’s your biggest, greatest, bestest wish, Mr. Mulder?” Jason smiles at him, the gaps in his teeth showing.

“It’s-”

“No, you have to write it down. Right here.” The social worker chuckles and Scully can’t help but smile too.

“You’re very convincing,” Mulder says, running a hand through the boy’s hair. “I’ll write down a wish. Happy now?” Jason leans over and checks what Mulder has written. He glances at him and nods.

“You really make sure Santa gets my list?”

“I promise you, Jason.”

“And he’ll find me?”

“He’ll find you, no matter where you are.”

“Thank you, Mr. Mulder.” Jason throws himself at Mulder, who catches the boy and hugs him back. “I hope your wish comes true, too. Bye, Mr. Mulder. And bye, Agent Scully.”

“Bye, Jason,” she says, waving back at him.

“Cute kid,” Mulder says once Jason and the social worker have left. They’re finally free to go home, too.

“He really is. I hope he’ll recover from what he’s experienced.”

“He will,” Mulder says, sounding confident. “Did the social worker say where they’re taking him? I have to play Santa.” He smiles. “He wants a bike, and hm, a kitten. That one might be difficult. But he should get his bike. Don’t you think?” She nods, not trusting her words. She knows Mulder will move heaven and earth so that Jason will get his bike Christmas morning. And whatever else is on that list. Just to give the boy a reason to keep believing, to keep going. That’s her Mulder.

“What did you wish for?” she asks once they get to their car.

“Oh, you know,” he says nonchalantly. “The usual.”

“Which is what?” To her surprise, he hands her the piece of paper before he starts the car. She quickly reads through Jasons’s wishes before she stumbles upon Mulder’s familiar scrawl. Her heart constricts as she reads his words: ‘I wish that my best friend’s greatest wish comes true’.

“Mulder,” she whispers, her emotions overwhelming her.

“It’s all I want,” he says, quickly glancing over at her. He takes one hand off the wheel and grabs hers. “And not just for you, Scully. I want this for us. Spending time with Jason today, I- Christmas is the time to ask for miracles, right? Maybe we can make one. Hell, we’re due for one.” She sniffs, wiping a few tears away. “Hold on to that list. I know you’re the skeptic here, but… I want to believe. I do believe, Scully.”

“I do, too,” she admits, and Mulder squeezes her hand. And maybe, just maybe, their wish will come true.

[daedalstudies]

gradblr challenge intro post

name or nickname: zoe

location: montreal

area of study: english literature

level of study: MA

a word on your thesis/dissertation: i will expand on an as-of-yet-undecided aspect of my undergrad thesis that examined sites of safety between women in gothic works of the british Romantic era through queer theories of space and protection.

*what has been your experience with graduate school/university thus far: the final year of my undergrad included many aspects of grad school, such as writing a thesis, being more involved in the department, and being in seminars, and i loved it. 

what do you hope to accomplish with this challenge: i did have a particularly rough time managing mental health and a heavy workload toward the end of my undergrad, so what i hope to practice in this challenge is balance and focus. it is the month before i officially begin my MA, so establishing good work habits at a time where all i have to do is reading and applications will hopefully prepare me for a productive and mindful semester.

is this your first #gradblrchallenge: yes!

favourite film: i've re-watched moulin rouge, what we do in the shadows, lord of the rings, star wars the force awakens, and thor ragnarok so many times i think that makes them favourites 

favourite tv series: the x-files, parks and recreation, jane the virgin, hannibal, and over the garden wall 

*places you wish to visit in a near future: paris, the netherlands, and switzerland (i visited the lake geneva region last month and fell in love, and i desperately want to visit the rest of the country)

*where do you see yourself in five years: it would be awesome to be some kind of junior/assistant acquisitions or developmental editor at a publishing press, and to have the time to work on my own fiction and poetry as a side job! 

*meaning behind your url: i was reading percy shelley’s “mont blanc” and loved the  use of “daedal” (skillful, artful, intricate) to describe the earth and its occupation by living beings -- and it sounded like a cool adjective to use in a study url! 

*a random fact about you: my tea collection occupies one of the largest drawers in my kitchen -- and it is completely packed only with tea and tea-making supplies! i’m so happy with it :)))

[1989nihil]

WIP Challenge

Rules: "post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips. I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? Dnd campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!"

got tagged by @raventhekittycat​, thanks! :3

(note: about all of my current WIPs re for Fugou Keiji: Balance:UNLIMITED, shortend to FKBU)

FKBU_Kontrast

FKBU_Blood Reign (working title)

FF_間  Ma_multi-fandom

FKBU_Bored... so utterly bored

FKBU_Inspired by Crimson Corridors

FF Meitantei Conan_名探偵コナン_Post Scarlet Arc-Need title

Truth to be told, I have about 38 files in my WIP folder right now, with the majority of them last beeing opened about two years ago, so I couldn’t possibly tell you what they’re all about, without going through all of them. The top five are currently the most active ones.

#6 isn’t exactly active, but I do tend to add some notes every now and then. In short, takes place at the end of the Scarlet Arc, and is focused mostly on Vermouth and Shinichi/Conan. It’s an AU, and... a... rather monsterous WIP. Gist is, Vermouth is a lot smarter than what is often seen in canon. I mean... c’mon! She should’ve been able to figure out that that guy wasn’t actually dead, precisely because her favourite detective was hanging-around one of her targets. She saw him working with the FBI to foil that assassination plot. She heard from a witness that Shinichi/Conan was present at that motorcycle crash. Like... She should’ve been able to figure it it way before Bourbon asked her for help, so that he can prance around public with that guy’s face to see if it gets any reactions. Like... this WIP is basically venting my gripe with how canon sometimes treats Vermouth, like, although portrayed as extremely dangerous, what with her skills and all, but then at times also a bit slow on the uptake...

#5, there’s an orphaned FKBU fic on AO3 of that title (you can find it here). I’ve posted a snippit of it before, from the summary to be precise, which you can find here x.

#4 is the one I just send in reponse to @stargatelov3r​ ‘s rose, and which you can find here x.

 #3 Is a multifandom wip, though, not in a cross-over sense of the word, but there’s specific theme all those ficlets have going, just random moments and bits, that kind of thing. I made a series out of the WIP, and posted it on AO3, here’s the link x.

 #2 Is yet another FKBU WIP, in which Kambe Daisuke is a Vampire, but sorta with the same motivations and goals as in canon, but unlike in canon partrayed, there’s no one actively bringing Katō in on the main-case, not even Nakamoto Chosuke. Instead, he stumbles into situations directly/indirectly related to the main-case all by himself, because he’s... well he’s Katō Haru, he is who he is. Also, about one of the few MPD characters that are human.

#1 is the one I just posted a paragraph of in reply to @raventhekittycat​ ‘s bouquet of roses of. You can find it here x. Essentially, Daisuke comparing the people around him, two particular.

Out of all theses WIPs, 間/Ma is the only one that I have posted. Please ignore the other series I have up on AO3, I forgot what the original file was titled, so I have to dig through a ton of WIPs on my external to find that again, and it will take ages.

This time I am going to tag :D

@stargatelov3r​ @rachaeljurassic​ @dorothyoz39​

and anyone else who wants to join in.

[mchalowitz]

fic; swiss miss

written for the x-mas files creative challenge. day one prompt is hot chocolate. i want to try to do as many of these as i can now that i actually have time to write 

@today-in-fic @thexmasfileschallenge

A fire bathes their living room in a glow of orange light. It’s A Wonderful Life is paused on the television. They’ve been spending more time together and their little house is starting to become a home again, for both of them.

“You have a problem with convenience, Scully,” he tells her. He’s whacking a packet of Swiss Miss against the palm of his hand, working out any clumps. 

Scully’s standing over the stove. She’s been stirring a steaming pot of chocolate and whole milk together for ten minutes now. 

“I have no problem with convenience, I have a problem with garbage, and that pack of chemicals is a fine example,” she retorts, still stirring. She looks over at him, her tone serious. “You’re not allowed to be jealous when you realize how disgusting that is.”

“That’s alright with me because I won’t have any reason to be jealous.” 

She turns off the burner, he takes his mug of water out of the microwave. 

Scully dips a ladle into the pot. The mixture appears to be pouring in slow motion, velvety smooth. She shakes the canister of whipped cream, giving her drink a healthy spiral on top.  

“Watch and learn,” he says. Powder meets water and the mixture is chunkier than he’d been hoping for. It looks a little like a science experiment. 

He meets her on the couch, covers his legs with his half of the blanket. He starts up the movie and she’s watching him from behind her mug, taking sips from her drink. She’s taunting him, making contended little sounds, as if it’s the best thing she’s ever tasted. He follows her lead. 

"How is it?” 

“Oh, it’s...” He catches her eye, sees her raised eyebrow. “It’s terrible.” 

She gives him a smug grin. “Maybe I could spare a little of mine for you.” 

“Maybe,” he replies. There’s whip cream on her lip and he leans over to gently press his lips to hers. She tastes like sweet cream and rich, warm chocolate. 

There’s a mug waiting for him, hidden on the side table, for when he was willing to admit that hers was better. He practically bows down to her from the smell alone. He might buy her a diamond after that first taste. 

He smiles at her. “It’s okay, I guess.”