#wyll -> karlach -> Lae -> Shart

[spicyraeman]

Karlach doing hot girl shit

[grezzirossi]

My Bg3 Party with the cutest barbarian and 3 pathetic guys.

[orangechickenpillow]

Meanwhile Lae'zel:

Bg3 as unhinged posts 🍾/?

Part 3

Bonus Astarion under the cut

[hirodraga]

wip :3 i really like how the lineart came out in this one so here you go

[wizzardhat]

Astarion is almost always trying to be funny but he only has about a 65% sucess rate, which is good but it means a huge amount of the shit he says just makes him look like an idiot. Meanwhile, nothing lae'zel says was intended to be funny but 95% of the things she says are hilarious, which. Also makes her look like an idiot. Then there's shadowheart's little quips meant to make her sound tough and mean but they just make her sound like a 5th grade bully trying too hard. This combined with the fact that they all fucking hate eachother and also piss themselves every time you do something fucked up makes it the funniest possible party makeup. Like you could replace any one of them with any other companion and it would immediately smooth out the tension. But why would you. Rancid vibes squad supremacy

[forcedhesitation]

I love that the bg3 guys are all written to have this intense adoration of karlach and lae’zel’s abilities to absolutely eviscerate their enemies. they’ve all got the same taste in women, which is “she could gut the big scary man chasing me, and then princess carry me to safety in her blood spattered arms.” and I respect and relate to that, as a bisexual man myself.

[a03heralding]

Bg3 blunt rotation headcanons:

Karlach: does not stop fucking laughing. She’s def wheezing at a joke she overheard in a lesbian bar three and a half years ago while in the middle of a sentence. The type who starts a story and ends up laughing so hard she can’t finish it.

Halsin: mellow as hell, is always encouraging the group to go for a nice walk somewhere while stoned to shit. Will he pass out or will he be caressing the flowers in his backyard? No one knows.

Shadowheart: Sis is asleep after a joint or a few hits from the bong. Is likely sleeping on Lae’zel’s shoulder with a blanket around her. We love her for that tho bc she looks so cute.

Jaheira: she is forreal trying to tell you that we’re all living in someone’s sims save or how aliens made the pyramids. Also always pulls up to the session at the most random times.

Lae’zel: when she does smoke she usually ends up tripping the fuck out and is staring at the wall like a dog that’s accidentally eaten an edible. Doesn’t partake anymore but will come and chill and act as Shart’s personal resting post.

Astarion: the one who is chatting the most shit, probably has the joint in a cigarette holder like curella de’vil. The main source of Karlach’s laughter. Is also constantly asking for Nicki Minaj songs to be added to the Spotify queue.

Wyll: straight up vibes, is probably hogging the snacks to himself tho but he’s busting jokes and laughing with Karlach about stupid shit

Gale: the person in charge of the playlist and the only one who can actually roll. He is very particular about the music bc he believes it sets the mood for the high. Is constantly denying Astarion’s request to play Chun li but puts on random shit like khazakstani jazz

Minthara: enabling Astarion’s shit talking and spilling the piping hot tea. The least faded out of all of them (except lae). Has a screenshot folder that she shows astarion so they can be shady.

Aylin: she’s productive when she’s stoned, is likely cooking something or has gone for a jog/ doing a task while wearing her socks/ Birkenstock combo

Isobel: the mom friend who is making sure everyone is drinking water and is getting fresh air while fried.

Withers: the za dealer. You have to go to his house and he only sells a min of 6gs at a time. Usually chilling and trying to hide his weed plants from the cops bc his neighbours are snitches ngl

Minsc and boo (sry I be forgetting): Brings his hamster to the function bc he doesn't want him to be lonely and believes that his best bud deserves a toke as well. Boo is a literal fucking menace and bites those who object to giving him any. There is literally always an argument bc of this but Minsc is ready to fight for his child.

[lucklessrat]

Posting this here early since I don���t need to worry about fighting the algorithm on tumblr.

Lethean, my drow moon druid weretiger durge (all words that mean things)

Some details about Leth:

Pronounce “Lee-thee-in,” he’s named for the river Lethe, one of the 5 rivers of Hades in greek mythology.

Lethean is very old, probably close to 400yo. But even before he lost his memory, he wasn’t sure how old he was. He spent a large chunk of his life living as a tiger, and he didn’t keep track of time during this period.

He’s a miserable bastard, but he’s also kind of a dad. Typical rude jackass who will do anything for you type personality. He is also just barely resisting the urge mainly by recklessly directing it at whoever is a threat to “one of his.” This is not always received well.

He gets along best with lae and shart (they’re all ruthless, rude, and impossible to hold a polite conversation with) and it takes him the longest to warm up to asta and gale (he finds them insufferable). Wyll and Karlach he just instantly puts in the “im your dad now” category (most of them end up in that category eventually anyway). He has a huge issue with Halsin for being 1. Taller than him and 2. An archdruid (he’s jealous), but he gets over it.

If he likes you, his default term of endearment is “kid,” which literally everyone hates. Only Jaheira and Halsin are exempt from this—he addresses Halsin as a peer, and Jaheira as if she were older than him.

Aaaand yes, he romanced astarion lol. (“You know, i didnt care for you when i first met you.”)

[wheretheharekissesthefox]

Cock: Lost and Found

Karlach lost her cock. Chaos breaks out.

Here's a silly little thing I wrote while bedridden with fever and nausea. Enjoy?

WARNINGS: Crack, dumb & silly, idk wtf this is but here you go

"I can't find my cock!" yelled Karlach as she stormed out of her tent.

"Pardon?" Gale uttered confused.

"Honestly, darling, how can you even lose your cock?" groused Astarion, looking bored. "Skill issues, that's what that is."

"Don't make fun of her," rebuked Wyll. "She simply wishes to please her lover."

"Back in my days, people took great care of their cocks and didn't lose them," Jaheira chimed in.

"What cock? Karlach clearly doesn't have one," Gale retorted, still confused.

"She's talking about her strap-on dildo, wizard," grunted Minthara. "You're clearly uneducated in said topic and truly emit third-child energy."

"Has anyone seen my cock?" howled Karlach, desperately rummaging through all the boxes at camp.

"Chk! One does not need a cock to please one's partner!" Lae'zel added her two cents.

"Well, it's not needed but appreciated, but you clearly know nothing about that," retorted Shadowheart, sour-faced. The githyanki glared at her.

"Wyll has never complained so far."

"Can you please not talk about our love life, Lae?" muttered Wyll embarrassed.

"How am I going to satisfy Shart without my cock?" wailed Karlach.

"Would you like some extra company?" Halsin asked. "I'd be willing to participate."

"I'd love to climb Mount Halsin," purred Shadowheart, licking her lips.

"If you dare to touch my Wyll, I'll cut off your arm and shove it down your throat!" hissed Lae'zel.

"Tempting, but I pass," chuckled the druid.

"How disappointing. It would have been so entertaining to watch," teased Astarion.

"Has everyone forgotten about Karlach's cock?" Gale asked while stirring the stew.

"You're no fun," complained the vampire spawn. The wizard sighed and placed his stirring device onto a plate.

"Wait a minute, that's my cock!" proclaimed Karlach, pointing at the wooden wand dripping with thick hearty broth.

"What?" Gale looked horrified and disgusted in equal measure.

"My cock, you oaf!" The tiefling grabbed it, shaking it off. "Oh, man, it needs a wash now."

"Great, from now on, my pussy's going to smell like onions and garlic," complained Shadowheart.

"No hardship for me, babe," replied Karlach with a smile.

"I'm going to be sick," groaned Gale, slightly green around the nose.

"You two are disgusting." Astarion wrinkled his nose disapprovingly. When Shadowheart glared at him, he added: "Disgustingly cute, I mean."

"You're full of shite, spawn," grumbled Minthara.

"Back in my days, people weren't so spoiled and made do with what they had," Jaheira pointed out.

"My offer still stands," Halsin noted good-naturedly.

"A quick wash and I'm ready to go, babe," Karlach beamed, giving Shadowheart a thumbs up.

"I'm definitely going to be sick," muttered Gale, taking off.

"What happened?" asked Minsc, walking closer while giving Gale a puzzled look as the wizard ran pass him to puke in the bushes.

"I found my lost cock!" cheered Karlach.

[cassqween]

Ok spoilers below for the new bg3 epilogue (shadowzel edition only so i dont spoil the entire epilogue)

Not quite it yet but still new: pretty sure the last 2 lines from lae weren't there before + they're now in clothes instead of armour which makes sense implying theyre having victory sex

I can't resist showing karlach and wyll LOOK AT THEM OUTFITS i wiggled happily so much when they came out of the portal

Its so cute how she makes sure shes using mingle correctly. And the. 'I wont be far. Not tonight. Not ever. ' ?????????? Im dead. dying. SOBBING SCREAMING Lae'zel you romantic bastard

shes grown so much im 😭😭😭😭😭 im so in love with her

Cant show much about shart since i cant talk to myself but from some of her own dialogue responses for when the others speak to her imply shes been living in a cottage near to her parents cause i spared them (and living with laezel ofc.. i wonder how the interaction with her parents is like) she was milking a cow before this and learning selunite ways (her outfit description says smt abt it being a selunites) plus has taken in a whole bunch of animals, including the owlbear now (a choice you can make) shes also been helping laezel fight off githyanki forces while still having this farm life (gathered this from laes dialogue)

She got what she wanted, shes thriving and Im so proud and happy for her

Thats all for them :')

This is all from my own choices so Im so curious what the other recordings are. The fact we even have this new epilogue is crazy. I adore this game with my whole heart

[illithiddreams]

So Durge players that kill everyone when and how do you normally kill Shart? Like Wyll Karlach Gale and Lae are easy for me but Shart never attacks me or anything really.

[glitchinginthegarden]

Okay so... if I stick Gil into bg3...

But the big question is: who would he romance? Who would he be close with? Or the opposite?

I'm thinking monk class? If i double up I'd need to think on what his secondary would be.

Halsin is a good option for LI. Because i mean...LORGE. but also gentle.

Lae is also just because she can kick his ass six ways to Sunday.

Karlach is very on the list for smooching because they're a good personality match. And who doesn't like a little friendly brawl...or more.

Shart would be an okay fit. He's a sucker for someone keeping secrets. And she can also kick his ass.

He would pal around with Wyll for sure. Tolerate Astarion. I think he would drive Minthara up the wall but somehow maintain her favor on charm alone.

Gale... they would get along when it came to dissecting/studying problems but butt heads on the solutions or how to execute them.

I'm just rambling here tbh

Gil won't leave me alone

Oh and he'd definitely be a durge run...

[wowowwild]

Who Ace Attorney Characters Would Romance In BG3 (Warning: Spoilers for all acts.)

We're starting with Klav bc I thought of him first. Klav would not romance Astarion. He thinks Astarion is annoying bc he and Astarion have too much in common in an uncomfortable way and he does not want to examine those things about himself. Lae'zel would remind him of Apollo so do with that what you will. I think he'd def be a Shadowheart girlie, she's got his vibe and he can save her from herself. I think he would threesome with Halsin on a Shadowheart run, he is very attracted to Halsin, tell me I'm wrong. A calming chill guy who is hot and fucks nasty? Sign him up. I think he would like Wyll, he'd find Wyll refreshing as a genuinely nice guy who doesn't want anything from him and they are both romantics. He didn't even know Minthara or Mizora were romanceable/bangable bc he always plays good runs. Karlach. Yes. I think he has a 50/50 of trying for Gale bc I think Gale might remind him of his brother a bit, but if he misses any of those possible connections I think he would have fun with Gale.

As a side note for Apollo, he is constantly getting asked out by the ones he's not trying to romance or is accidentally starting something with someone he didn't mean to and is having a mess of a time. Karlach's immediate wanting to ride him line freaks him out, he never romances her. The 'we just met' option was put in the game specifically for Apollo Justice. Lae'zel's boldness also weirds him out but I think he would try it once before abandoning the run or reloading a save. He likes Shadowheart. He does a Shadowheart run. Astarion is not his type, he does get to the bottom of Astarion's character and appreciates him as a character, but he is not romancing him. He does try an evil run bc he gets fed up with helping everyone all the time and I think he would actually like Minthara. He doesn't go for Mizora when she asks, though. Halsin is a little too horny for him, I think. He likes Wyll, though. Wyll would be a fantastic option for him. I think Gale would annoy him.

Maya Fey, my beloved. Wyll is the only guy she'll do a romance with, but she would do a threesome with Halsin. She does one with each of the girlies including Minty. I think Karlach's story (minus the ending) would be her favorite, I think she might relate a little too much with Shart and Lae. She also does the scene with Mizora before reloading a save.

Look, do I think Miles Edgeworth is playing bg3? No. But if he did... He is so into Halsin. He does the bear sex scene. He is blushing the whole time but he's so into it. He tries Wyll bc what's on the label sounds fantastic, but he finds that romancing Wyll just doesn't excite him in the necessary ways. He doesn't try anyone else.

Franziska is pretending she video games are beneath her but she wants to know what everyone is talking about even if she refuses to engage and so she plays in secret, usually in the middle of the night and she does a Shadowheart run bc Shadowheart propositioned her first and as she goes through her story she is just constantly bawling her eyes out, vowing to save and protect Shadowheart. She thinks Astarion is a bitch, Gale is annoying, Wyll is boring, and Halsin is too horny. She might also just be denying the fact that she's not attracted to men. I don't think she does a Karlach run, but she does go through Karlach's story every time so that Karlach can get her heart fixed. She likes that Lae'zel knows what she wants and goes for it, but I'm not sure if she would do a dedicated run. If she does, she also starts bawling her eyes out as she goes through the story. I also think she only ever has the girls in her party until she hits a lock she can't get open. She's playing a paladin btw.

Phoenix Wright. Finally someone who is down for Gale. Tbh his savior complex makes him do a run with each of the main six. I think Shadowheart and Astarion hit him the hardest, but Karlach's endings make him quit the game for a while. He also does Halsin threesome.

Ema is 100% down for Karlach. She likes the other characters (mostly), but she is a Karlach girlie through and through. I think she reclasses Karlach to rogue, though, so she doesn't have to have Astarion in the party. She has Lae'zel there to be the big hitter and I think Wyll would be in her party as well. I think she would be a Lae'zel over Shadowheart kind of person. She is SUPER into the evil run, though and it hurts so bad that she can't have Karlach in her party. On her evil run she takes Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Astarion until she can pick up Minthara and reclass her to rogue. She doesn't absolutely despise Astarion, hater recognizes hater, but he reminds her of the fop, which is a bonus bc when she tells Klav this he gets huffy about it. On her evil run she does romance Minty.

Kristoph Gavin cannot play bg3 bc he's on death row, everyone point and laugh.

Simon is also a Shadowheart girlie. She's mean and goth when you meet her and stays that way even as she becomes a better person. He's into that. He does not romance Astarion, but he always makes sure to absolutely annihilate Cazador. As a side not he also always does the House of Hope. He likes Wyll, he likes how uncomplicated everything is (compared to the other main 5), he would do a Wyll run, but he would still let Duke Ravenguard get blown up. Athena is side eyeing him for that one. He also does not romance Gale, but he doesn't let Gale blow up, either. I don't think he romances Lae'zel or Karlach, but he does see their stories through to completion. He lets Karlach turn into a mind flayer when she offers. He says he's doing an evil run to seem edgy but then Apollo starts talking to him about things that only happen in an evil run and he starts sweating bc he actually did not do that. So he just says actually he's doing a solo run and he's killed everyone possible and Apollo doesn't believe him and forms wild incorrect theories.

Athena is super into Karlach. She basically only does Karlach runs. She thinks Astarion is funny so she always has him in the party (plus locks). Her last party spot is up for grabs depending on what she's doing. She actually brings each of them out to their story locations instead of doing stuff and telling them after.

Am I suggesting that Maya channeling Mia so she could play a video game makes any sort of sense? No. But assuming she did, Mia does a run romancing each of them. She is super into the poly relationships and threesomes bc I hc her as polyamorous and this is my post. I think she would start an evil run just to see and then be so shocked by what Minthara's character is like (in a good way) that she decides to transition into a good playthrough so Minty can see what it's like to be good. She also does the Mizora scene before reloading a save.

Ok, in the same year Athena is playing bc they are the same age, Pearl decides to try it. She goes for Wyll first bc he's a romantic and is everything she thinks she wants. This is when she realizes she's into women. Shadowheart is the female companion you actually get to be romantic with from the start (Pearl is still a romantic), so she tries that and wow. Yuri.

They do not have bg3 in Khura'in, but they do have planes, so when Nahyuta is in the states they play. They are into Lae'zel and Shadowheart equally, actually, and romancing them is very therapeutic. He tries Wyll for the heck of it, but he's too nice, Astarion is too much of a project, and Gale is... Well Gale is really fun to make fun of, so even though they do a Gale run, they're making fun of him the whole time. They are besties with Karlach. They like Halsin's character but are not interested, and they can't bring themselves to attack the druid's grove and the tieflings so no Minty.

This is not an exhaustive list! lmk if there are other characters you'd like my opinions on! I love having opinions!

[hex-rex]

jinx and/or shart and/or lae'zel for the give me a character ask thing

And\or errrrm. I like to talk? I am doing all 😁👍

putting it under a cut bc the Jinx section got out of hand 🤠 Uuuh Arcane and bg3 spoilers

Jinx

• how i feel about this character

AUGH????? AUGH!!!!!!!!! DJJFJFNFHDIDNDJFJIFNFFHFJ!!!!????

• All the people I ship romantically with this character

Personally no one from the show, but I really like Lux from what I've seen of her (I think that's her name. I've never played League)

• My non-romantic OTP for this character

Obviously her sister and her have an addicting dynamic but I also like Ekko and Jinx in a they miss each other so painfully much but could never forgive the other either, and are stuck in an endless loop of missing them and hating them 😩

• my unpopular opinion about this character

I've seen people saying they want Jinx to get help\realize how evil she's been and makeup with Vi, but I personally don't .... The whole point is they've changed. They're both completely different and there's no going back. They both miss each other so painfully much but they just can't see past the old to accept the new. They both want their sister back so bad, they can't realize their sister is right there. They both can't move on without moving on from their memory, but doing that would be the same as accepting their sister as dead to them.

• One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character

OKAY I KNOW SHE HAS HAD LIKE 15 BREAKING POINTS BY NOW BUT. I neeed to see Jinx kill Cait\A council member\anyone close to Vi. I need to see Jinx do something so unforgivable out of rage that Vi finally realizes she's not getting Powder back. I need Vi to snap at her and have Jinx realize her sister will never accept her as she is. I need sibling angst 😩😩😩

Shart

• how i feel about this character

See above^

• All the people I ship romantically with this character

Funny you should put this with Lae'zel. Well let's just say. Haha. Ftrog laby.... I also really like Karlach x Shart and Minthara x DJ Shart!

• My non-romantic OTP for this character

ASTARION!!!!! Two pale white-haired elven mean girls trash talking EVERYONE at the reunion!!!! They both said the same insult at the same time and immediately became best friends.

• my unpopular opinion about this character

I really like the DJ Shart route 😩 like. More than her normal route!! OBVIOUSLY Selunite Shart is the best for her character but DJ Shart is SO interesting!

• One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character

I WANT MORE SELUNITE SHART CONTENT!!! I KNOW that is ironic considering my previous statement but I DO!!! I NEED IT!!!!

Lae'zel

• how i feel about this character

Augh.... Alien lizard woman with a sword save me.... Save me alien lizard woman with a sword...

• All the people I ship romantically with this character

Already said Shadowheart, but also Wyll!! He could fix her....

• My non-romantic OTP for this character

Jaheira! I can imagine Jaheira helping her down the path of like. Not murder. She tells her little stories about heros and Lae gets SO shocked (and disgusted) when she actually gets invested in the self-righteous plot

• my unpopular opinion about this character

She actually isn't just a mean evil woman 🤠. She is soo complex and has so much more to her, even in act 1, than being a racist meanie. She was taught to put herself first and that feeling of being the best is slowly unraveling!! And she has to juggle her loyalty to her kin with her newfound love for her friends!!

• One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character

I wanna be able to go to the comets with her platonically ☹️. I KNOW she wouldn't let her but I WANT TOOO!!!!

^me being plagued by thoughts of Woman with Braids

[cloverthebarbearian]

my nicknames for all the bg3 companions :3

Astarion: Starry, Star Shadowheart: Shart (NEVER to her face), S.H, S-Heart, I don't think she likes nicknames though Gale: Bitch, Idiot, Loser Ass, fuckin' uuuhhhhh Guy Lae'zel: Lae-Z (Lazy), Zel Wyll: Wylliam, Squylliam - Astarion, Karlach, Shadowheart & I will often make silly jokes w/ tBoF titles, like he says something kinda backhanded to someone, 'Oh damn, not the SHADE of Frontiers!', he gets awkward when we're all getting drunky & handsy w each other during camp, 'Not our fault you teamed up with the Blade of Fun Queers' Karlach: Karly, Karl, Mama K, K.K, Kiki Halsin: Hal, Big Hal, Papa Bear, Daddy, sorry Daddy, sorry Daddy sorry Daddy sor- Jaheira: J, JayJay, Ya-heira, High Harper (said exclusively mockingly) Minthara: Mint, Minty, she doesn't really get nicknames, Mommy, sorry Mommy, sor- Minsc: Minsc

[forcedhesitation]

you cannot convince me, that out of everyone at camp, you could get astarion to be setting up the campfire here. idc if he knows a fire cantrip. if you even asked him to do this, he would laugh in your face. he is not getting his nails dirty just to start a campfire.