#wussy!

[mikejudge]

i think about this thread all the time i love it so much lmao

[ktzart]

you must always be prepared to kick a little ass

[askblueandviolet]

*a small black appears with a phone*

*starts playing "Careless Whisper" on phone*

MASTER POST

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[minkshame]

@lubotomies colored one of my sketches

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

Steve is stoical when he’s sick. He’s not accustomed to getting a whole lot of sympathy for his childhood illnesses. He’ll either soldier on taking a lot of medicine or, if he’s really too sick for that, isolates himself saying he doesn’t want to spread germs. Which is reasonable, but mostly he just wants to get it over with in private and not annoy everyone else. Even his usual affectionate clinginess, when he’s in love, gets shut down.

Eddie is utterly pathetic when he’s sick. This becomes apparent their first winter together when he catches, in Steve’s opinion, a pretty mild cold. Still, Eddie’s sniffling and coughing and whining, sitting on the couch with his knees pulled up inside Steve’s biggest sweatshirt, so he tells him to go to bed and try to sleep it off.

Eddie goes to bed but if he’s trying to sleep you wouldn’t know it. His plaintive calls of “Steeeeeeeeb” echo down the hall. His head hurts. His tummy hurts. He needs more pillows. He needs a drink of water. He needs more tissues. Steve takes care of these requests in a pretty brisk way because he does love the guy but jeez, he’s being a wimp. When he makes a point of ignoring the “Steeeeeeeeb” because he knows Eddie has everything he needs and is just looking for sympathy, he comes trailing down the hallway wrapped in a blanket, croaking a request to have Vick’s rubbed on his back.

It’s all so annoying that when Steve inevitably catches his cold he decides to be just as pathetic so Eddie can see how he likes dealing with a whiny, needy invalid.

And Eddie kisses him on the forehead and calls him a poor baby without detectable sarcasm and makes him a honey and lemon drink and gets him all bundled up comfortably on the couch to watch Murder, She Wrote while he makes a quick run to the drugstore, and he comes back and makes him his favourite soup for lunch and reschedules a D&D game to stay home and take care of him. That last one makes him croak (it’s a very croaky cold), “Jeez, Eddie, I’m not dying.” Eddie tells him to shush and take his medicine. He got him the nice cherry cough syrup.

He gets better about two days faster than he would normally recover from a cold so maybe there’s something in the Eddie treatment after all.

[relativefict1on]

[ask-sweetie-and-pip]

Stella: Sounds like somepony still isn’t aware of the multiverse. Don’t treat your own grandchildren like that, you prick. Don’t make me come over there.

Let's answer some of my "fan mail". Empty words. Empty threats. Is that the best you wussies can do? Or what, Stella, you are coming to get me? I'm sooo scared, hehe!

@ask-the-cosmic-duo

@drakowulf36579

Do you know what is a whip is? It's used to tear things apart from a distance! If Golden key is a smart filly, she better come to me right now. I hate getting my hooves dirty. -Spoiled Rich

//This mare... sweet celestia.

[sheikahwarriork]

prompt for childhood enemies dimileth!!!

When Byleth was 6 years old, and Jeralt left her in the care of an inkeeper while he was doing merc jobs, a traveling caravan of rich people arrived to the inn, and she heard an ugly rich bowlcut blonde baby say his dad was the strongest and could beat anybody's dad and she choose violence.

Someone had to put the bowlcut in his place and make him understand Jeralt was the strongest.

Dimitri didn't want to fight back for his crest until Byleth called him a wussy... which is a word the mercs used around her and she didn't know what it meant.

(she fondly recalls this story as the first time she won a fight)

(dimitri still has bite scars from the incident and was very scared of girls for a long time)

(gustave was worried sick a commoner kid got the crown prince rabbies)

(they haven't connected the dots)

(This is the same anon who hates Dimitri's hair)

(hello dear dimitri's hair hater anon, i loved this prompt a lot! i changed some little points in the narration, but the main plotis the one you wrote. i really hope you'll like this :3)

wordcount: 1.2k

Byleth was extremely bored. Jeralt— no, he said to call him dad— Dad ­­went to do some cool mercenary stuff he said were 'too dangerous' for Byleth to attend. How silly! She was perfectly capable of taking care of enemies. She had the best teacher in the world, after all; the Blade Breaker’s abilities were well known along all Fodlan.

Of course, she was still only six, while her father was… How many years old was Jeralt again? She realised she didn’t know exactly. Probably the same age all dads were. Like three-hundred years old or something like that.

Byleth frowned. Did she need to wait three-hundred years to become as powerful as Jeralt? No, it was too far away from now! The little girl stood up. She needed to go training now.

She went out the little inn where Jeralt— Dad left her some days ago, heading for that nice spot she found out the day before to train with her new super powerful sword. (Well, wood sword. After the last time Byleth tried to train by herself, she almost chopped her own leg, so Jeralt took precautions by giving her a weapon that 'woudn’t hurt his precious little girl'. How melodramatic! But he chose it precisely for her. It was special. She wasn’t gonna break it!)

Her wandering gaze stopped when she noticed some people a few meters from her. She frowned. A tall guy with dark hair and a younger blonde boy with an ugly bowlcut were talking under a tree, the very tree of her perfect nice training spot.

She frowned again. As people said, Byleth wasn’t… the best at social interactions. She didn’t like talking to people, especially strangers. And she hated when she had to. Like this moment. She needed those two to get out of her new special training spot. She needed to train! To become more powerful! Like, right now!

The urge to train was bigger than her despise for talking to strangers, so she got closer to the tree, holding hard her sword. Byleth repeated in her mind Jeralt— Dad’s lessons about how ‘not to be too scary with other people’. She had to act nice.

“Hi. Get out of my training spot”.

A greeting! Super nice. ‘Good job, me’, she thought, pleased with herself.

The taller boy looked at her with surprise, but his expression quickly changed in a smile. “Hello, you fellow warrior”, he said in a condescending tone, winking.

Ugh. That was one of the thing Byleth hated the most: grown-ups treating her like she was just a little child!

“Get out, I said! I need to train”, she said, pointing at her sword.

Bowlcut boy frowned. “But you’re too young to train by your own!”

“What?!” Byleth exclaimed to him, annoyed.

“Yes! My dad says children shouldn’t fight until they grow up. And you look almost my age! So, you can’t train”, Bowlcut boy explained, nodding.

Byleth crossed her arms. “It doesn’t make sense! My dad helps me train since I was… younger than you!”

Bowlcut boy looked troubled. “Why does you dad train you?”

“Because I want to become strong, and he’s the strongest mercenary of all Fodlan!”, Byleth said with a hint of pride.

Now Bowlcut boy looked annoyed. “That’s not true! My dad is the strongest one! Glenn, tell her!” he added, looking at the taller annoying guy.

Tall-annoying guy was watching at them holding a hand over his mouth as if he wanted to hide it, slightly shaking. Then he proceeded to burst into laughter, hitting the ground with his fist, without saying a thing.

Byleth frowned. What a weird guy.

Bowlcut boy frowned too, but apparently he decided to let the matter drop, as he looked at Byleth again. “My dad is stronger! He has big muscles, and he’s the only one that can use a super uper big powerful spear!” Then he looked down at Tall-annoying guy, who was still on the floor. “Glenn! Tell her!”

The guy tried to stop laughing, but miserably failed. “So… sorry, Dimitri… you’ll have to… deal with her yourself… PUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Byleth crossed her arms; then, she got an idea. “Let’s settle this with a fight. However wins, has the strongest dad!”

Bowlcut boy’s eyes widened. “N… no! I can’t! I’ll hurt you!”

Byleth was really annoyed now: how dared that little brat imply he could beat her?!

She lifted her sword, pointing at Bowlcut boy. “Prepare yourself!”

“Oh, fuck!” Tall-annoying guy stopped laughing and stood up between them. “Ok, party’s over. Let’s try to get along, shall we?”

Bowlcut boy sighed in relief. Byleth sticked her tongue out, looking at him. “Your dad’s just a… wussy!”

Byleth really liked the word ‘wussy’. The way it sounded was funny. She didn’t exactly know the meaning, but Jeralt’s mercenaries often used it when someone was arguing (usually when drinking that weird ‘grown-ups fruit juice’) with some other of the band, getting the latter very angry. And Byleth wanted to make Bowlcut boy angry.

And she succeded! Bowlcut boy’s eyes widened, and he proceeded to run towards her. Byleth was ready, and promptly dodged the boy. She grabbed his arm, and sinked her teeth in it.

The boy screamed in pain until Tall-annoying boy managed to pull him away. “Shit shit shit! What the hell is wrong with you two?!” he said in a high-pitched tone. Bowlcut boy started crying.

‘Pathetic’, Byleth thought.

“Okay, little girl, we’re leaving, but promise me you’ll stay away from Dimitri!” Tall-annoying guy said, while taking Bowlcut boy in his arms. “We’re leaving soon anyway, so forget about this and do not tell anyone!” he added, going inside the inn, without waiting for Byleth to respond. “Shit! I did tell Gustave I’m not a good babysitter…” she heard him muttering, while Bowlcut boy was still crying.

She looked at the now closed door for a few seconds more, then turned around. “Okay. Melee training for day: done. I should practice with my sword now…”

“You did what?!” Jeralt—Dad screamed in shock.

Byleth crossed her arms. “I bit him, I told you! He was saying some crap about you!”

Dad looked at her in disbelief, and then bursted into laughter.

‘Why is everyone laughing at me today?!’

“You… you bit him… you bit the… freaking… AHAHAHAHAHA!” Dad was laughing so hard he didn’t finish the phrase.

Byleth shrugged, deciding to let him be. ‘It’s not like I’m gonna ever see Bowlcut boy again…’

15 years later

Byleth didn’t know if she was getting better at reading people, or if Jeralt was acting strange more than usual. Since she told him she chose to lead the Blue Lion House, her father started to make a soft giggle everytime she mentioned the house-leader, Dimitri. It was getting annoying.

“Are you going to tell me why do you make that sound everytime I mention Dimitri, dad?!” she finally said one afternoon, while her and Jeralt were having tea in her room.

Jeralt smiled. “Ah! Never. But maybe, you’ll have your answer if you’ll ever see his arm… Summer is starting, after all…”

[pomdor]

Modern Legend! I was vibing with a more punky fuck you dad you don't even know me kind of vibe for him, with a little egirl thrown in for flavour bc they have fun skirts.

[chibifox2002]

The man.🐧

The myth.👑

The legend.😎

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

i think its probably for the best if we never get verbal confirmation in show that evelyn was a clawthorne and eda and lilith are descendants of caleb. there isn’t enough time to show the characters reacting to it. and if luz and the clawthornes do accept hunter as part of their family it should be because they think hes a good kid and care about him, not because they feel obligated to since he’s technically related to them.

but also i think it would be INCREDIBLY funny if belos accidentally lets slip that evelyn’s last name was clawthorne in the final battle and everyone puts the pieces together. then eda scoffs at belos and is like “damn, great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa could get it. why couldn’t you?” and belos explodes into goo from his sheer puritan-ness.

[modrophenic]

two of them

[silusvesuius]

t*lvas basically saying he'd rather be abused if it means he's learning more is kinda crazy. Chill before you get mora tentacle surprise'd in the mail

[fandomwarehouse]

I don't get why people cheer for the Empress Ciri ending. Our girl's gone through hell and back escaping those who violated her bodily autonomy and you think installing her as the head of a slave state that destroyed her country and everyone she loved is a happy ending?

[grocerystorephobic]

But I never thought I’d drive this far without a gun

I DID accidentally save the final render as "Dead Dong" - happens to the best of us. Enjoy :3

[screamsofanoutlawbrain]

I finally went through ep 4 of beast yeast (and I wanna talk about it's ending, so spoilers ahead.)

I kinda feel like packing the last three cutscenes into 3 clouds is kinda iffy, but I get it a bit.

I'm a tad peeved that Devsis didn't have the balls to put Dark Choco into a scene, at least depict when he gave the choco shoots dammit! But besides that I think we definitely still need the two to reunites down the line on the same side, maybe when the ancients team up to beat Dark Enchantress?

Great story, really happy that Caramel Arrow and Crunchy Chip aren't fucking dead anymore.

Also, Mystic Flour's a bitch, and I would give a day of my life away if I could punch her in the face.