#wtf i cant stop laughing
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My partner is a truck driver, and a bird flew through the open window and hit them in the side of the head and died on impact
They're laying on the couch with an ice pack bc they got a minor concussion via canary to the cranium
#wtf#concussion#bird attack#bird#how did this happen#tw dead animal#they feel so guilty#i cant stop laughing about it though#literally how#lil man headbutted himself to death#bird kamikaze
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squinch your writing too good. your swag too hard. they’ll kill you
oh god they're gonna get me
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Imagine reading a new manga and joking about it being homoerotic and then it gets explicitly stated that one of the protags is gay
If I don't see any weird romance blossom between those two istg-
#AINT NO WAY I WENT 'OH TOXIC HORROR YAOI /J' AND THEN THE NARRATIVE SAID 'bet.'#oh if they dont eventually end up together ill lose it#i thought- i thought i was just too influenced by tumblr when i saw the vivisection scene and went 'haha gay sex /j' and then- and then???#i dont even care if they actually get together tbh#i just want them to keep being that weird#the entire situation is fun if you ignore the atrocities lack of morality and cannibalism#one day youre a 30 y/o high school teacher - the other youre a lab experiment on immortality and a househusband. and a murder accomplice#also congrats you just gain a pet monkey who hates the mad scientist that kidnapped your corpse and brought it back to life#EDIT: OH THEYRE SO IN LOVE THERES NO WAY-#problematic couple for the win#nobody deserve to deal with them so they should stick together#i cant stop laughing#toya wtf#edit 2: officially gay yay#edit 3: ITS AN UNHAPPY ENDING NUOOOOOHHH#sleeping dead#pretty sure i stumbled on the first chapter some years ago#anyway - my conclusion to this is: sometimes its good to read smth without having any clue on what its about - sometimes all you need is to#look at the volume cover and go 'eh. lets try it'#conclusion n2: indulge in dark stories from time to time. its good. not that id say sleeping dead is the darkest out there but that may be#just me-#theres def worse than that#ive made this post in my draft before posting - thats why there are already 'edit's
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i genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to act at my age
#like when i have to talk to ppl my age irl they sound old af 😭 and im like are they old or just actual adults?#like i know when to act mature but when in the same age group i feel like i should have my adult voice on#like a customer service voice but more casual???#like for this get together i’m fear i might be one of the youngest ppl there besides like the children of everyone else 💀 like i can go#can’t***#hangout w them and later ima go see my friends and it’s more relaxed but it’s not like we talk about random shit#like we don’t listen to the same music watch the same shows or movies anymore#or they say oh i don’t have time for that or i don’t watch/listen to that many more#????? what do you do? and they’re not on social media besides fb or twt#like unfortunately i’m part of the chronically online 💀💀💀 but i can’t just be like oh im knitting this or crocheting that because that’s my#old lady hobbie i picked up in hs and they were like that’s old ppl shit#they talk about work but i find that so boring idc about what i do everyday that shit stays the same 😭#like it’s interesting to listen to them because i don’t do it but my job it’s same day in day out#and if we talk about fitness it ends up at oh i gained some weight or i lost x amount that means i can have a xyz and not care ….#we are mid to late twenties when tf did you get heartburn 😭 and wtf is that ??? i’ve heard about it but what do you mean??? when did that#start??? like yeah old bones and body aches but damn another meme post about it 😭 stop#like what did i miss when did i stop looking where did yall learn all this#at this point i think im just immature#like my random shit is gonna be ceo/luigi and sk then what i can’t bring up rap kpop spotify wrapped anime my excitement for some local yarn#how i don’t think lady gaga is a good actress or that im lowkey upset about the wicked movie#or that there’s gonna be an american psycho remake like they’re not gonna care#and i can’t be like tf is an appetizer ? that isn’t just restaurant and tv show shit ?#I CANT TELL THEM ABIUT MY PERIOD SHOES I FEEL LIKE THEYRE TONNABNOT LAUGH#my talking points are work (boring and same as always) old car accidents most recently accident (but not too deep) shoulder and back pain#progress maybe complain about grocery prices 😭😭😭#omfg wtf am i supposed to where to the get together with appetizers FUCK#is it chill to go in shorts and a tshirt ????? i’m sure they know we’re the ones smoking outside they can just assume i’m too chill#let’s hope someone has a baby and i can distract them w my ability to somehow charm babies 😭😭😭😭#omg what if their kids are blaming us for the weed smell !?? like imma not narc but i’ve seen them out there too#like idk if they’re college age but i don’t think they’re open about it and im the freak taking walks past midnight 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
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sorry but we dont talk anymore will never be the same
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kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)
#guys i have worth??? im actually a human being deserving of basic respect and SHOULD be apologised to if i am not given that??? holy shit#ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise#guys i am a friend worth apologising to omg this is so nice#(<- was fuming over how i was a “friend” not even worthy of her basic decency and respect an hour ago)#LIKE IM STILL MAD#okay i actually cant vaguepost to save my life but basically this girl whos a friend i recently got close to and formed a friendgroup with#shes really fucking whiny and ive been tolerating it for so long but on friday she was extremely whiny and rude whenever i just asked a#simple question#and it's really draining and humiliating to be spoken to like poop on the sidewalk in front of other people#but anyway other than that i was really upset because during pe i wanted to show her my hip injury cuz i thought it was funny#(it wasn't diagnosed yet i just felt my joints moving weirdly)#and like that involves her putting her hand on my hip#so i asked her to do that then she started whining about how she doesn't want to touch me and that i'm weird for asking ppl to touch me#then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me#then this other cool girl overheard and looked at us funny i guess cuz then the friend said 'haha now [cool girls name] is also laughing'#i was so fucking embarrassed and humiliated i still want to tear up thinking about it#like are you actually my friend wtf i don't even need enemies w a friend like you#i wanted to cry so bad then#ugh i hate it#like you couldve just said no thanks bro what is ur problem#this just made me realise how much i hate how she talks to me sometimes#and i know i need to stop surrounding myself with negative vibes in order to feel happy#but its still so frustrating#we were doing so well the other day and google meeting everyday#then this happened and then she got mad and started ignoring me on the way home#bro idk i hate ts i should just stop making friends#rant
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obsessed with the way the pokeani fandom is divided rn between people who r like "ASH WILL FIGHT LIKO ASH IS LIKO'S FATHER ASH IS LIKO'S BROTHER AND GRANDMOTHER" and people who r like "please let him go... please he's gone now. let him rest in peace" like damn is he fucking dead or something
#IM TOTALLY EXAGGERATING BUT STILL IT'S SO FUNNY TO ME#I CANT STOP LAUGHING#I BOTH LOVE AND HATE THE POKEANI FANDOM BC PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID IT'S ACTUALLY SO FUNNY#ASH IS NOT LIKO'S FATHER WTF 😭#LIKE I GOT SCARED HE WAS AT SOME POINT BC OF A FAKE OFFICIAL NEWS BUT IT'S BEEN WEEKS NOW#mew.txt
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I recently got this fucking question in a Buzzfeed quiz and had to take a screenshot to make sure I didn’t make it up in a fever dream.
#i cant stop laughing#and i cant explain it#but somehow#this is the funniest thing ever#also#the most stupid thing ever#destiel#supernatural#this wasnt even a supernatural quiz btw#buzzfeed#buzzfeed quiz#funny#humor#tumblr humor#fandoms#fandom#meme material#my humor is broken#shipping#wtf is this
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LOOK AT THIS MOUSE PAD
I'M SCREAMING
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#im dead y'all#like wtf who designed this#i cant stop laughing#absolutely dead#deadpool#wade wilson#marvel
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Ngl it's very funny to see fans getting into arguments and Discourse about these games and then I'll see them be like "I've never played/watched X Y or Z game" like how are you gonna get aggro about something you only know about through vague tweets??
#literally someone talking about majima in y5 but they never watched it played y5#like this isnt me being petty this is me actually being confused bc the way my brain works is You Get All The Information#before you waltz around getting in fights or telling people they cant like a character bc of some shit#like ???#also seeing people abandon games and then be like 'i dont know whats going on!!' yeah bc you stopped playing 2 chapters in ?#like thats just logic#if you want to play out of wack or not play at all thats fine but maybe dont be on other peoples posts asking dumb questions lmao#like i played all of y5 and did all the substories and side stories too and i still dont fully know wtf happened#so the idea of not even watching a playthrough but then sitting there to go on a tangent when you have like 5% of the info is so ??? to me#yakuza fans are wild theyll be like Ive never played or watched a single game but i looked at jpgs and thats the same ig#LIKE IM NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN IM JUST PERPLEXED#also made me laugh seein someone be all omg Kaito is my baby <3#to the point i figured theyd played judgment and then they actually started playing judgemnt and were like :/ im not sure about kaito#LIKE??? YOU WERE ACTUALLY BEING A STAN WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING THE BARE MINIMUM??#that idea is just totally foreign to me#ive never watched mob psycho and you wont see me barracking for Reigen just bc i laugh at memes on account of I HAVE NOT EVER READ OR WATCH#so weird
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i think i’m weird for saying this but what do you do if you have a family member that you’ve never met for like the past 20 years and now you met them and thought they’re fucking hot.. and idk might’ve been attracted to them physically?? plus points their personality is immaculate n top tier
EXCUSE ME
#anon… respectfully#this would never happen to me#[💌: anon]#IDK WHAT TO SAY#THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE OR SOMEONE ELSE#SOMEONE UR NOT RELATED TO SHEBDBDS#i cant stop laughing im sorry 😭 wtf
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...
#feelin weird. feelin real weird. in a bad way? no i guess not but more like im a haha wtf is happening here?#like i should maybe track my mood just so i can be like wtf is this? more bc i think its interesting#bc like i mean im spending ~11hrs in the lab and the stress has been real high and ive not been sleeping well#but like currently? i feel like i wanna run a mile. like i wanna run around in circles and scream and laugh until i cry#too much energy. too much energy. but y? where is it coming from? its weird#its like the edge of a headache. the cusp of turning. it doesn't quite feel bad yet but like i woke up at 4#and was insane until 6 when i had to get up and then i was in the lab all day until 6.30#and immediately i went for a run like empty stomach. i need to run now. and i still feel like that. like i need to run and run and run#but like y am i not exhausted? im not even tired? im vibrating#i watched the new successi0n episode twice and im losing my mind abt it#so its weird and i dont understand. but its not bad. it feels out of control like it feels fucked up but im not being like irradic#like if i was standing beside someone i dont think theyd notice. except maybe my sister bc i think if i talked id be noticeable#energetic. idk maybe im just exhausted and brain is pumping me with stress hormones so i csnt stop but i also csnt feel it#but i suspect its something to do with estrogen and progesterone levels changing which isnt great bc ive got a cycle that borders being#concerningly short but like idk rn its fun. im sure itll break and ill split apart but rn everything feels hilarious#its also weird bc im always like: y do i have so much energy after i dont sleep? is not sleeping thr answer. and today i was like hm#maybe i cant sleep bc i have too much energy. hm. idk its not bad. it doesn't feel bad#it just feels interesting and notable so im noting it. weird stuff. hopefully it pulls me thru tomorrow#bc my back fucking hurts lmao and its monday so ppl r back in the lab as i stand around for 11 hours#unrelated
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I was explaining the fanfic habit of describing a character by their most well-known characteristic ("the black-haired," "the footballer," "the emo" (no I didn't make that last one up)) and they pointed out that this is just a reiteration of Homeric epithets ("The grey-eyed Athena" etc).
#i cant stop laughing#wtf#fanfic#ao3#fic#why are we like this#homer#homeric epithets#i cant read fics without laughing now
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reading in french is so much spicier because i start thinking awww he’s going to see his boyfriend and it turns out that in that very paragraph he is two steps away from having a panic attack
#i cant accidentally skip ahead#so like#i actually pace myself!!#and google translate laughs at my commentary such as#awwwww bbg you are so cute- bbg wtf no no no stop
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Ok so I just started playing a Japanese rock playlist AND THE FIRST THING THAT FUCKING PLAYS IS A FUCKING MHA INTRO HELLO??
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Hewwo! I will be youw suwgeon today. intewnal bweedin you say? Let's make ouw fiwst wittle incision
may i please get a different surgeon- please-
No- get away with that scalpel!
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