#wtf how did i stumble back onto tumblr

[randomguywithwords]

Catharsis (Awase Yosetsu X Momo Yaoyorozu Short Story)

I stumbled onto some post talking about these two and their shared trauma, so I made this in response. Kinda forgot who it was but credit goes to him/her for the idea. 

–––

Awase Yosetsu sometimes wondered whether he was alone. Not literally, obviously: he had friends, family, and a school he felt he belonged to. More so, alone in his mind. Were his life experiences, and the way he reacted to them, unique? Has no one else suffered the same trauma he had? 

Logic dictated that the answer was a clear no. The Kamino Incident, more than a week ago, had been far more tragic than what he had went through. Hundreds of civillians, unaware of a police raid just a few kilometers down the road, had their lives taken away in a mere instant. He had been horrified to find out about that.

Still, as he lay awake at night staring at the ceiling of his dormitory, something he found doing more and more since the camp, he thought, Is it selfish of me to think that...that...was worse? 

He suppressed a shudder. Don’t think about it, he warned himself, forcing his mind away and to lighter subjects, like lunch today, where Monoma was karate-chopped by Kendo again, and everyone started laughing...

The whirring of the chainsaw grew louder; the wail of that abomination pierced his ears. He was getting slower. They were getting ––

“Stop!�� He slapped himself, curling up underneath his blanket. He still could not forget it, no matter how hard he tried. 

Maybe I should schedule an appointment with Hound Dog...

No, he didn’t want to. It wasn’t...proper, for him to go for counselling. The school had offered it immediately after the disaster that was the camp, and he had taken one just to placate them. He went through the motions, nodding, talking a bit, smiling while he could. Perhaps the adrenaline somehow still kicked in, days after it. He might have still been in a shock then. But now...

The memories started to come back now to haunt him, to make him lose sleep, to make him unsettled. And it worked. 

So was he alone in this, or were the others equally affected? Worse? Less? 

Granted, the mood in the school was dim for the first few days, but the majority of the cohort seemed to return to their normalcy by the first week. But he...he could not. 

His thoughts drifted towards Yaoyorozu. Even though she had received the injury from that monster, she seemed to be faring better than him. From the few times they passed each other in the hallway, or at the canteen, she looked as chirpy as ever. She smiled at everyone, laughed at her friends’ jokes, and seemed totally unaffected by the incident. He presumed her studies had not taken a hit whatsoever. Still the top scorer of the cohort.

Great, guess I’ll be late again tomorrow, he sighed inwardly as he glanced at his watch, informing him that it was half past eleven.

He sat up and sunk his face into his hands. Maybe I should take a walk. 

Grabbing his shoes and track pants, he found himself at the ground floor of his dorms. Thanking the reasonable dorm rules that allowed for late-night jogs, he stepped out of the building. 

As he shut the door behind him, he turned around, and his face blanched. 

Yaoyorozu’s face stared back at him. She was in a running outfit as well. Her surprised disposition transformed into a smile. She waved, and Awase meekly waved back. 

Figuring that she was probably waiting for him, he quickened his pace to meet her in the middle of the road. 

“Yaoyorozu-san, hi. Didn’t expect to see you.” He mustered a smile.

“Same here, Yosetsu-san. I jog every night, so it’s the first time I’ve seen you this late. Are you jogging as well?” 

“Uh no, just taking a walk.”

“Sure! I’m fine with that too.”

Awase frantically waved his hands. “Oh, you really don’t have to...”

Her lips widened into a smile like the crescent moon above them. “No, but it’s fun to have someone to talk to. I’d prefer this than jogging alone.” 

Was she always this friendly and bubbly to everyone? Awase was astounded by her amiability. But he gave an affirming nod, and the two set off down the lane. 

They first chatted about schoolwork and friends, about the antics of the guys, which Yaoyorozu laughed at, charmingly. But Awase knew that the conversation would somehow lead to their near-death experience. To his surprise, it was Yaoyorozu who initiated it. 

“How are you holding up?” She asked. “After the camp, I mean.” 

Awase looked at the asphalt. “Good, I guess,” He replied evasively. “You?”

“Same, doing great.” Awase looked at her beaming expression, and his heart plummeted. She looks totally okay.

“Well,” she continued, “as great as I can be, since, y’know...” Her voice softened to a mouse’s squeak. “We were both there.”

The thought of the monster loomed over both of them, silencing the conversation for a moment. He glanced at her again. Her smile seemed less curved now, almost as if she was scared.

Of course she’s scared, idiot. She nearly died too, Awase scolded himself. 

“I...can’t sleep. It’s been difficult to,” He confessed towards the pavement. 

Yaoyorozu didn’t reply, and Awase was beginning to wonder if he had said it too softly when she said, “You too? That’s good.”

Awase looked at her, and her face reddened, though with the faint lamplight it was hard to see. “I mean, I don’t mean it that way! Just –” 

“I know, Yaoyorozu-san, don’t worry.” He chuckled, and she relaxed. Continuing, “I’m glad too. You looked...you looked really well in school.”

“Well, so did you. You looked quite happy with your friends, I thought you had gotten over it,” She said.

Me? Was there another Awase walking around? She really thought I was coping well?

“I – I’m surprised you thought that way,” He managed. “It’s been a horrible few weeks. I thought it might have showed.”

She shook her head adamantly. “Have you visited Hound Dog-sensei, Yosetsu-san?” She asked with evident concern. 

“Just once.”

Yaoyorozu frowned. “That’s not enough. I had to go at least thrice. Why don’t you?” 

“Because...” Awase trailed off. How do you explain this to a girl? 

He doubted the intelligence of Momo Yaoyorozu, because she read his mind. “Don’t tell him I told you this, but Bakugo-san went for a session too, you know.”

His jaw dropped. “Bakugo? But how...?”

She nodded. “We’re good friends, so please don’t tell anyone else. I only did so because there’s nothing wrong with a guy going for counselling, okay? As heroes, we’re bound to experience such things. Ah, sorry if I sound naggy!”

“No, it’s okay. I...I needed to hear that. Thank you, Yaoyorozu-san.”

“No problem.” 

They enjoyed a comfortable silence on the walk back. When they saw their dormitories close by, Yaoyorozu said, “Yosetsu-san? Can I give you my number?”

“Huh?” The question made him blink at her. 

“I’d like someone to talk to, if I want to. I know my classmates went through trauma of their own, but nothing really could compare to what we faced...I feel that they wouldn’t understand fully.”

Awase nods slowly. “Sure.” 

Some tapping on a screen later, and the two depart with a goodbye and a smile. Awase clambers onto his bed, and although the nightmarish thoughts don’t disappear as one would expect in a fantasy, he does sleep a little more sounder. That’s fine by him. 

I had more to talk about for these two, but as two schoolmates who just shared a near-death experience, opening their innermost thoughts on that basis with no prior meetings seems a bit rushed. Hope you liked it, and if anyone knows the person who started this, lemme know and I’ll credit them. 

P.S: Oh wait this ship is popular enough to be an autofilled tag? Well, I’ll be damned. I doubted you again, BNHA fandom. 

P.P.S wtf there’s a kodai x yaoyorozu? I thought I was the only madlad that wrote a fanfic on that. That’s 3 for fandom, 0 for me. Brb gonna AO3 this. If anyone has good fics on that niche ship, pls tell me. I’ll be very grateful

Update on kodai x yaoyorozu. I was swindled. There’s like one post apparently, even though I freaking tagged the fic I wrote on them, and it didn’t show up. So now I’m wondering how many jewels of posts are just concealed because of Tumblr’s shitty search engine. 

[love-dreams]

for the last time

jeonghan/reader | mental illness!au | angst, fluff

synopsis: in which jeonghan wants to do everything for one last time

content: depression, suicidal thoughts, character suicide

notes: WTF TUMBLR APP DELETED EVERYTHING anyway...more a/n in the m.list!!

wc: 1.3k

“please, y/n, don’t leave me, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry-!”

it was almost like a ritual at this point, waking up to nightmares, drenched in sweat, with his heartbeat pounding in his chest while lying in bed. holding his head with trembling fingertips, jeonghan tried to recall the events of his dream, trying to pinpoint the cause of his nightmare. he sighed before giving up, running his fingers through his sweaty, damp hair.

looking over at his bedside table, jeonghan saw his phone lit up with multiple messages from his best friends. 

jeonghan grabbed his phone and got out of bed, checking messages from seungcheol and joshua while brushing his teeth. recently, the pair had been checking up on jeonghan to make sure he was getting out of bed everyday. 

jeonghan knew he didn’t have much time left in the world, but even with that impending doom in the back of his mind, he didn’t want to see his other friends suffer like he had. mustering up his strength, he put on a smile and before leaving the bathroom, flashing one last smile at the mirror. 

>>[p.sc] jeonghan, don’t forget to take your meds

jeonghan checked his phone again as it buzzed on the table, smiling to himself at how caring seungcheol was. these days jeonghan couldn’t find the motivation to even make breakfast, instead, he just filled up a glass of water, sitting down at the table to reply to his friends. 

<<[me] already did, mwah

<<[me] @joshua, i’m dropping by your campus later today, you forgot your notebook

>>[h.js] thanks bro!! remember to eat breakfast

after sending the message, jeonghan let out a sigh and leaned back into his chair. his life really was miserable after you had left him. jeonghan had no motivation to do anything, he couldn’t sleep or even eat. the only thing that kept him going was staying with seungcheol and joshua. tapping his fingers against the polished wood table, jeonghan tried to recall the event of his dream again. 

then, taking a sharp breath, jeonghan stood up determinedly; he wanted to go back to your shared apartment for the last time. 

he remembered the painted walls and pictures on the table during the dream and all jeonghan knew was that he needed to be there again.

but he needed to see seungcheol and joshua first before he left.

“how was your day so far, jisoo?”

“it’s been good so far. thanks so much for bringing this with you, jeonghan!”

jeonghan laughed, “aren’t you taking advantage of me living with you a little?”

seungcheol seemed to notice something wasn’t right about jeonghan’s manner, and piped up, “jeonghan, did you get my text this morning?”

jeonghan nodded, smiling as he showed him the pill bottle. “yep! i even brought it with me so i wouldn’t forget to take some this afternoon.”

seungcheol relaxed, “it’s been awhile since we’ve gone out together.”

for a moment, jeonghan’s smile fell off his face before he quickly forced it back upright. jeonghan nodded, reading between the lines of what seungcheol was saying: “it’s been awhile since we’ve gone out together, because you used to always be with y/n.”

after that lunch, jeonghan left to take a walk by the han river, marveling at the beautiful weather today. as he followed the trail, he slowly made his way to your apartment complex, the old building had the same charm it always had. 

as jeonghan climbed up the concrete stairs, he suddenly had a rush of deja vu, causing him to slightly stumble. 

“i don’t even get why you went to that stupid party, you know how shit you are at drinking.”

jeonghan dragged your body up the stairs as you struggled to maintain balance.

panting, you huffed out, “shut up jeonghan, i just wanted to have some fun.”

jeonghan grunted as he looked down at you from above, “are you saying i’m not fun? ‘cause i can totally be fun.”

you laughed as you made it to the last stair, collapsing onto the dirty cement. 

jeonghan panted beside you, still standing up, “get up, y/n, we’re almost at the apartment.” he tapped you on the side with his foot, his height towering over you. 

you smiled drunkenly, “you’re so pretty, jeonghan.”

jeonghan sighed, propping you up. he squished your cheeks together, “you know that i like to be called handsome more. now, up you go!” 

jeonghan chuckled at the memory. before he knew it, he was at the top of the stairs, on the floor of your apartment. 

it had been what seemed like a lifetime since he climbed these exact stairs. 

when you died, he didn’t have the heart to sell your apartment. it held all the memories jeonghan cherished so much, it felt like losing a piece of you. 

standing in front of the door to your shared apartment, jeonghan got hit with a wave of nostalgia. unable to push back at the rush of emotions, jeonghan leaned against the wall, his chest suddenly unbearably tight. 

he should have been there for you.

straightening up, jeonghan put on his brave facade and unlocked the door. after you died, jeonghan hadn’t returned to the apartment you shared, the pain was too great. looking around the room, jeonghan could almost smell your perfume and shampoo that you always wore. nothing had changed since your death, your parents hadn’t come to collect your things. dropping his bag, jeonghan started to wander around the small room until he came to a stop in front of your room. 

he couldn’t hold it in, breaking down in front of your room, sobs wracking through his slim frame. jeonghan covered his face, as if you could see him, tears running down his arms. guilt was rushing through him and his chest became unbearably tight. out of the corner of his eye, he saw his bag, the pill bottle in the compartment outside of the backpack. 

“jeonghan, i’m so proud of you, baby!”

jeonghan smiled at you cheering for him, he tickled you, “i can’t wait to go to your art gallery as well.” 

you laughed, bubbly happiness surging through the both of you. jeonghan had just performed his first concert in front of your university classmates. there weren’t a lot of people there, a couple of hundred, but it was stunning to see him on stage.

you cupped his face gently, “make sure you don’t miss it, okay?”

jeonghan choked at the memory, his chest tightening even more. it felt as if his heart was being squeezed, suffocating him. taking raspy breaths, jeonghan  could finally breathe again. crawling over to his bag, jeonghan collapsed against the front door. picking up the pill bottle with his trembling fingers; jeonghan stared at it. 

“i just wanted...you to be there for me, this one time!”

you were crying now, a tear streaming down your face. 

jeonghan sighed exasperatedly, “i know and i’m sorry okay? i had to practice for the next concert and i just forgot.” 

you glared at jeonghan, “that’s the problem, jeonghan. you always forget about us,” then you turned on your heel and spun out of the apartment, slamming the door on your way out.

jeonghan unscrewed the cap, peering though his tears at the pills inside.

“jeonghan, i’m so sorry...they were too late...”

their voices were all so muffled and distorted at that time, jeonghan couldn’t even hear them over the rushing of his blood.

jeonghan collapsed on the hospital floor, sobs wracking through his body. he would never see your smile again, never be able to hold you, never be able to-

“oh god,” jeonghan gasped out. he had never told you he loved you..

jeonghan reached a trembling hand in and inspected the single pill before swallowing it. 

“she wanted you to have this.”

jeonghan reluctantly took the letter. flipping it over, he saw his name written in your handwriting. jeonghan left your letter in his coat pocket for two days before gathering the courage to open it. 

gathering some more pills into his hand, jeonghan pulled out the folded piece of paper from his pocket; he always kept it with him no matter where he went.

“my love, jeonghan,

if you’re reading this, it must be too late for me. you must think that this was your fault, but i want you to know that it wasn’t. being with you these years have been my happiest moments, but i want you to be happy as well, jeonghan. you deserve better, i guess. i’m crying while i’m writing this because i really miss you right now. i regret yelling at you, i regret walking out. i’m sorry, jeonghan. i must be really cowardly, to not tell you these words in person, but jeonghan, please know

i love you. be happy for me,

y/n.”

jeonghan re-screwed on the cap, dumping the pills back in. he had to honor your last wish. slowly standing up, jeonghan pulled out another piece of paper: the pledis entertainment business card. 

i’m sorry, my love. i can’t be happy without you here, but i’ll try. i promise i’ll try.

pulling out his phone, jeonghan quickly sent out a text to joshua and seungcheol.

>>[me] i’m trying out with you guys. 

jeonghan loved for the last time.

[howdoipickauniqueusername]

RFA Members X Reader (Soulamate AU)

Zen : [the first words your soulmate says to you tattooed onto your wrist]

*taken from Deep Story Route, as I wanna play 707 again lol*

You could barely sleep the night before your eighteenth birthday, knowing that you’d be able to find the first words your soulmate would speak was all you could think about

Imagine how you felt when “WTF. How did it get in here?” Showed up the next morning

Your older brother found it fucking hilarious, your sister was sympathetic and your mother was concerned your soulmate was the abusive type

You tried to hide it, and avoid looking at it

I mean, come on, if your soulmate had that reaction to you - were they really your soulmate??

You continue through your life, eventually moving on from finding your soulmate

You try and date a couple of guys, but, expectedly, nothing feels right

Until, seven years later, you download a messaging app to be able to text your online friends when... something goes wrong

You’re talking to someone called “unknown”, guiding you to an apartment building and, having nothing else to do, you follow along

As soon as your inside an apartment, the chat changes into a normal group conversation between people talking about nepotism

You’re about to leave the chat and the apartment when someone called 707 notices that you’re there

“WTF. How did it get in here?”

Zen - you’d heard that name before, but your heart stopped

Was this it? Your soulmate?

You were in shock for moments until you decided it best to say something before they lose they’re minds

“Hello...”

As soon as the chat ends, someone’s calling you - you see it’s Zen and before even letting yourself think, you pick up

“Hey...” his voice is breathy and you can feel your heart pounding and your head swimming, so you sit down.

“Hey...” you sound shyer than you meant to.

“I... I know this might sound strange, but I just have to check... what do you have tattooed on your wrist?” His voice sounds hopeful. Had he been waiting for this? You smile at the hope in his voice. So I guess this was your soulmate

“I have WTF. How did it get in here? Tattooed on my wrist.” He laughs. “Seriously? I hated you for that when I woke up with that on my wrist. My mum thought you were gonna be abusive!”

“At lease you didn’t have to question everyone who greeted you.” You gigle at the image.

“I’m sorry.” You can hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll make it up to you someday.” You feel your heart flutter

“I’d really like that.”

Saeyoung/Luciel/707 : [you can finally see colour when you make eye contact with your soulmate] (AU where you meet at the party and nothing bad happened lol)

You had gotten used to seeing black and white by the time you turned 25

However, as you watched your friends fall in love, find their soulmates (small world - most of them found their soulmates in college), you kind of started feeling a little lonely

Saeyoung however, hated the black and white. It made his eyes bleed and his chest hurt. His computer screen was black and white - full of coding. He knew, because many of his co-workers told him so (they tried not to talk about their ability to see colour, it never ended well for them)

His chest hurt, knowing this was all he’d ever see. Black and white. He thought it was a perfect contrast to his life

Statistically, most soulmates were to be found in college classrooms - same interests and such

Perhaps your soulmate wasn’t the college type

You thought about him a lot, even while you applied for your masters

You made friends with people you had stumbled across online - a party planning committee that you actually quite enjoyed talking to

Especially one guy - 707, who never failed to actually make you smile with his hilarious comments

As you both grew closer, as did the date for the party, you felt part of you hoping that this was it. He could be it...

Saeyoung would never let him admit it to himself or god forbid, say it out loud, but he wanted the same thing. You were hilarious. And cute - when he saw you, hacked into your tumblr account and saw the private photos of you with friends and family on your Facebook, part of him wished he could see colour. What hair colour did you have? What colour eyes...

When the day came and you tried your best to choose something nice to wear - trusting your mother who helped choose the colours.

It took Saeyoung ten minutes to tie his tie as he was leaving. He was gonna be early at this rate - and while his hands were shaking, he took his damned time. He didn’t want to know. But he did. And he didn’t.

If you weren’t it, then who could it be?

And if you were... then, he was doomed.

You stood near the door, flinching every time someone walked through. Your whole body was tingling - barely able to talk for the heart that was pounding in your throat

Zen and Yoosung were so sweet, and you felt slightly terrible when you kept turning around to look at the door, but they didn’t mind. They could tell something had changed between you and him

He stood outside, pacing. He just had to do it. Had to get it over with.

So he walked in

And for a second, your heart broke - you saw him in black and white

Until he saw you

The eye contact was blinding when suddenly there was colour

Everywhere

And it was beautiful

And you were walking over to him, smiling

He thought you were beautiful - in colour and grace and how could he be so lucky to have you as his soulmate?

“Oh God 707, it’s a pleasure to finally meet thee.” You curtseyed and your hair fell off your shoulder and he shivered

And he laughed

“I can’t believe it was you.” He says, softly, barely louder than a whisper and you smile, pushing your hair away from your face

“I had a feeling when I met you.”

Yoosung : [a wristband clock that counts down until the moment you meet your soulmate]

You wake up, feeling nervous

You and your mother (practically one of your best friends) have been waiting for this day since you learnt what it meant

Nearly as soon as you’ve woken up, your phone is ringing and your mother is talking your ear off, about how to act and what to say and you don’t have the heart to tell her you aren’t listening as you doze off into nervous day dreaming

What would he look like? What would he say when he saw you? Would he be disappointed? You were hardly a model... a little chubby actually

You used to be teased about never finding a soulmate, despite the fact that your clock was counting down

They said it was a glitch, but you had enough faith to last you

Your first day of college. Today.

Would he be in your class? Or would you bump into him around the campus?

You got ready, heart pounding as you checked your wrist almost obsessively

Yoosung has been waiting for this moment since high school. At least, that’s what he’d tell people (truth was, he’d been dreaming about his soulmate way back in primary school)

He felt nervous as heck - couldn’t sleep, eat or even play LOLOL in the days leading up to today. The day.

1 hour and 10 minutes and 15 seconds

He couldn’t wait to meet them.

But he was worried they’d be dissappointed when they saw him. He wasn’t “hot” or anything particularly special. He didn’t have much going for him when he thought about it...

But he tried not to think about it as he locked his front door behind him

30 minutes left and you realised that you were definitely going to be meeting them on campus. You were 10 minutes away, so you’d have twenty minutes to spend, anxiety ridden and nervous as fuck

20 minutes left and his hands were sweating. He couldn’t stop it, so he wiped his hands on his jeans, hoping to god it’d stop before he met them - what a great first impression

10 minutes left and you were heading to class, heart pounding in your throat

5 minutes left and he started heading to class, taking one last drink from a water fountain (he was stalling)

A minute to go... excitement and anxiety

5 seconds to go and your eyes were glued to the door

3... 2... 1...

The door was halfway open when your clock reached zero and fell to the floor - people around you hear the soft clink and try and find the matching pair

You see their hand, frozen on the door handle, and he walks in, his face red

He’s actually really fucking adorable, and you smile

The girl who had sat next to you moved out of the aisle and motions to him that he should sit next to you

His soulmate

Sat in the third row to the front, smiling and blushing and a part of him dies

He manages to walk to you, sitting down next to you and because of the chairs, his thighs brush against yours and his breath hitches in his throat

“Hi, my name is [Y/N]” you say softly

“I’m Yoosung Kim.” He replies, still red

Jumin : [whatever you write on your skin, it appears on your soulmate’s skin]

The first thing Jumin learnt about you was that you really needed to get a planner

You scribbled appointments and assignment dates all over your hand

At first he was rather annoyed by it - people constantly assuming he was doing it to himself.

So he got himself a pair of gloves and forgot about it

He had to focus on business and... learning about business

Although, occasionally, when he felt lonely in his large home with no friends or no real family to talk to, he’d take his glove off and trace the doodles and cursive font

He liked to imagine that his soulmate and him.. they’d be different from his father, trying to ignore his heart in favour of the young girls he fel privy to

He’d make sure that when he found them. He’d never let them feel second best

A couple years into your twenties, you decide it’s best to get some kind of job or internship as you complete your PhD

Coincidentally, C&R International was hiring for interns in college looking for some extra credits and you jumped on the opportunity

They had assigned you to work with a wonderfully hardworking lady named Jaehee Kang

It was a stressful job, and you barely ever saw your boss, Mr. Han, however you didn’t mind that based on the effect he had on others around the office

It wasn’t until two months into your job when Mr. Han has apparently lost a pair of gloves that you actually met the man

Jaehee was swamped with work when he called her in, however you jumped out fo your seat, telling her you’d handle it, to which she gave you a grateful smile and started back on her work

“Mr. Han, you called?”

“Yes. I need you to go and retrieve a fresh pair of gloves from my home. As soon as possible.”

You nodded swiftly and left, asking Jaehee for his address and scribbling it onto the inside of your palm before grabbing your coat and leaving

Junk sat at his desk, typing when he felt the all too familiar scribble on his skin and looked down instinctively (it was reflexive, even with his gloves on)

His address. In cursive. With a small ‘gloves!’ Written next to it

His soulmate was his intern

You came back in record time and knocked on his office, waiting for a couple moments for a calm “yes, come in” before entering

He sat where you had last left him, and gave him a professional smile as you reached out to hand him his gloves

He held out his left hand and you saw scribbles across it

I didn’t know Jumin wrote on his hands — wait, that looks like...

You glanced down to your hand and your eyes widened

You looked back up at him and he smiled in a way you’d never seen before

“I think we should get to know eachother, Miss. [L/N].”

Jaehee : [you can hear your soulmate’s thoughts when you want to]

When you were young - too young to know how to control the thoughts that popped into your brain every once in a while - you’d let them talk

Whoever they were calmed you down

You’d be in the middle of hiding in your closet from the arguing downstairs when - pop - they were back

I need sugar and flour and...

They were baking... you smiled whenever their thoughts invaded your mind. They took you away from reality

An escape you welcomed whole heartedly

Years later, when you were diagnosed with anxiety, their thoughts didn’t come to you as often as they used to

Apparently, stress can have an effect on the ability to hear and transmit thoughts

No wonder they hadn’t tried to reply to your thoughts... who are you?

So.. she was stressed

And you fell into a numb state of mild depression - no real desire to go out or eat or.. anything

Your mother eventually forced you to find something - anything to do. So she took you to her favourite coffee shop on a Monday morning, before the big rush of customers came and you followed

You hadn’t bothered to brush your hair or anything - what was the point anyway?

So when a woman dressed in a sharp form fitting suit came flying into the store with purpose and grace, your heart skipped a beat without you realising

Your anxiety lifted for a moment

Wow, she’s gorgeous

Your thought was loud, almost echoing inside your head and she flinched

Could she hear me?

At that, she began looking around, and as soon as her eyes landed on you...

You both knew

[barpurplewrites]

Catch - Chapter 8

It’s not quite what you were all expecting, but I wanted to post something on my birthday and this is that. Very woobie, but with a hell of a lot of promise. :)

(AO3) (Tumblr)

-x-x-x-

There is something strange about doorways. The transitional significance of a threshold appears to be built into every simple frame, and certain ones will throw you no matter how many you have just walked through without problem. Gold knew where he was with Belle right up until the moment they entered the suite, and then he didn’t know what to do, he wasn’t sure how to stand, or move, the basics of breathing appeared to have deserted him as well.

For a few awkward moments Belle was in the same situation. She stepped away from his side and fidgeted and couldn’t meet his eye.

Everything was going horribly wrong.

Gold watched as Belle twisted her hands together. He stopped breathing entirely as she turned on her heel and fixed him with a look he couldn’t hope to understand. He gasped in a raged breath and was about to explain away their earlier flirting as good-natured comradery in the heat of the moment when Belle said; “Fuck it.”

Gold found himself shoved down onto the evil couch as Belle jumped into his lap, her wet jeans squelching against the leather. Her hands braced either side of his shoulders as she leaned in close and whispered; “If you don’t want this please tell me to stop now.”

His cane rolled to the floor with a dull thump as he slowly placed his hands on her hips.

“Please. Do not stop, Belle.”

She angled her head and closed the gap between their lips. There was a gentle heat to the kiss, but it was tempered by the chill of Belle’s lips. Gold pulled back and smiled at her; “As much as I would like to believe it is my kiss that is making you shiver, I know it’s the cold. We need to get you out of these wet clothes and warmed up.”

Belle nibbled on her bottom lip; “Is to soon to share a shower?”

A flash of panic stabbed Gold at the idea of seeing Belle naked after only a brief kiss, at least that’s what his rational mind told him, but the deeper coward in him was more scared of her seeing his scars so soon; “How about you have a shower and I warm the bed up?”

She gave him a smile; “Good idea that way you don’t have to see me try and get out of wet jeans, never graceful.”

She hopped up from his lap headed to the bathroom. Gold watched her go, very aware of the dopey grin on his face. She paused at the bedroom door and chuckled at him; “Get a move on I won’t be long.”

“You’re a bossy Madam.”

“You love it.”

“Aye I do.”

The moment that Belle closed the bathroom door Gold lunged for the phone.

“Room service? How quickly can you get a double slice of chocolate cheesecake and a bottle of champagne to my suite?”

“We’ll be there in three minutes Mr Gold.”

“Thank you.”

Belle would probably need at least three minutes to get out of her wet clothes, and considering how cold the lake was she’d most likely spend a good twenty minutes under the shower, so that gave him plenty of time to change into his pyjamas, get the room service and warm the bed up a bit before she emerged. As long as he had a plan he didn’t have to dwell on what might happen once they were cuddled up in that bed.

Gold striped off and threw on his PJ’s and then stumbled to a halt when he found Belle’s silly kangaroo t-shirt under her pillow. Oh fuck, she hadn’t taken her jammies into the bathroom; was she expecting to find him naked in bed waiting for her?  Before he could stress about this idea too much there was a discreet knock at the door. He limped over to the door and found a small army of people waiting on the other side. The concierge smiled at him; “Answer yes or no, sir. Romantic?”

“Erm. Yes?”

“Wonderful, the lady is in the shower? Good. Step back please, sir.”

Gold stepped aside in a state of shook and watched slack-jawed as the team of six arranged the desserts he had ordered next to the bed with the champagne and set up flameless candles on every available surface in the bedroom. He turned to the concierge in confusion; “What is…”

“I’m to tell you this is a gift from Mal and Gina. There are now hot water bottles in the bed and supplies you may need for later in the drawers of the bedside tables.”

Gold snarled, but the man gave him a wide smile and held up a hand; “The ladies also suspected that your response would end in ‘off’, I will deliver that message to them, sir.”

The romance enforcement crew scurried out of the door and the concierge gave him a sly wink as he hung the Do Not Disturb sign on the outside of the door before he quietly closed it behind him. Gold snagged his phone from the table and sent a rapid text to Mal.

“WTF?”

“Stop texting me and get into bed you idiot!!!!”

Gold had been planning to wait for Belle in the bed, he had promised he would warm it up for her, but there were hot water bottles doing that now, and with the candles and other things he suddenly felt awkward. He perched on the end of the bed and gulped nervously as he heard the shower shut off. He’d counted off four minutes in his head before the door opened.

“Wow! You did all this for me?”

Gold looked up from the bit of floor that had become his focal point, and his mouth went dry, Belle was wearing two towels, one around her hair and the other covering her from breast to mid-thigh. There was a lot of shower-warmed flesh on display, his first thought was that she was warmer now and that was a good thing, his second thought was rather more salacious and involved her legs and his hips. Gold realise that she was waiting for an answer and kicked his brain into gear.

“I ordered the cheesecake and bubbly, but Mal and Regina hijacked room service and did the rest.”

Belle somehow managed to hold her towel up and bury her face in her hands. After a moment she looked up at Gold through her fingers; “Guess we weren’t that subtle. Erm are you okay with everyone knowing that we’re, y’know, more than just friends now?”

Gold’s voice chose that moment to abandon him, and he had to watch as Belle panicked. Her eyes went wide, and she gripped her towel tight around her body.

“Oh fuck, you just wanted a casual fling, that no one else knew about. I’m so sorry I thought that this was going to be more than that. I don’t do one nighters. Oh fuck. I’ll get dressed and see if Emma will share her room. I’m sorry.”

Gold would never know how he got to his feet that fast, but he crossed the room and was stood before her in a heartbeat. He hesitated, not wanting to touch her, not wanting to coerce with a caress until he’d made his feelings clear. It hurt like hell, but he dropped to his knees before her and looked up at her with a shy smile.

“Belle. I don’t want a casual fling with you. I’m not a one night stand kinda man. I want you. I want a relationship with you. And I’m sorry Mal and Regina have interfered, I’ll go downstairs right now and chew them out about that. I want you, Belle, as much as you are willing to give me, I’ll be grateful for.”

He was offering his heart to her on open hands. It was terrifying to be this vulnerable, but the fear was quashed by the fact this was Belle, the woman who had protected and shielded him so many times this weekend, and now he was thinking about it many, many times since she had started working for the company. Even if she rejected him now she would be gentle.

Belle bit her lip and leaned down, her hand stroked his face and without thinking he turned into her touch and pressed a kiss to her palm. Her fingers slid under his chin and a gentle pressure tilted his head upwards, so they were eye to eye. Belle’s bright blue eyes were eclipsed by her blown pupils.

“I want all of that too. Can I have your first name before we get into that be together?”

Gold licked his dry lips and said; “Bertrum, but I hate it.”

Belle nodded and offered him her hands to pull him to his feet; “Okay Gold, shall we snuggle now?”

[inactivedaddymemeyard]

We Can Be Soft

Andreil and their daily lives. Fun ensues as always. Some of my HCs and some HCs from Tumblr. This has no plot or timeline please forgive me.

Ao3: here

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. When did it become so consistent and overwhelming? He would’ve stuck harder to his initial “No” that day when Andrew gave him this present, which now that Neil thought about it honestly seemed a life time ago. So much had happened so many truly awful things had come and went and here he was throwing a mental tantrum because Andrew was sexually texting him at the most inconvenient times.

           The first day that Andrew started this war on Neil’s peace of mind Neil had followed Nicky’s previous instructions on how to text someone you liked and sent back an orange heart, while he smiled to himself thinking about acting on the text the next time they found themselves alone.

To his disbelief and frustration Andrew quickly replied, “wtf was that? Do better next time. “

So started the most uncomfortable and tense weeks of Neil’s newly safe life. It soon escalated from every once in a while to multiple times a day and specifically when Neil was in class or talking to someone. Neil was living in a constant state of arousal and competitive irritation. If this continued at this intensity and consistency Neil was going to have to assign Andrew a specific vibration pattern and new ringtone before just the sound of his phone going off made Neil aroused. He’s honestly tried his best to not engage too much at first but he quickly realized that not only was Andrew playing with him but also Andrew was enjoying himself. Neil would gladly endure the tension in his lower abdomen and welcome Andrew attention even when it was riddled with mocking looks and jokes, he’d do anything to keep Andrew’s undivided attention, especially when he was being playful.

           That is how Neil found himself quietly approaching Matt’s door. He knew that there was ridicule, and potentially anger from both Minyards, waiting behind that door but he was just so tired of always being steps behind everyone else socially. Andrew had to teach him everything and while physically that was not only a good thing but was also a blessing; there was no eager grabbing or asking to try this or that Neil gladly let Andrew lead him and he saw the relief in Andrews body language enough to know there would be nothing to gain from researching how to be better in the bedroom, but this wasn’t about touching and heat this was verbal and he would run sexually worded circles around Andrew if he could.

           “Neil? What are you doing in the hallway looking like a kitten someone abandoned?” Nicky said from behind him.

           Neil dragged himself back to reality and the door he was still just looking at before answering, “I need Matt’s help.” The words that could potentially save his peace of mind or ruin it completely, either way something had to break and Neil was ready to take the steps needed to win.

“Oh Neil will you ever stop looking like that.” Nicky mumbled as he walked around him and unlocked the door.

Neil didn’t know what he was talking about but rather than take on that fight he wanted to tackle the battle he’d started the day ready to fight.

He stepped into his old room and his eyes immediately locked onto Matt’s back. “Matt I n-“ Neil stumbled not wanting to really ask for help.

It was enough that Matt tuned to look at him with curiosity written over every inch of the man’s body and face. When Neil still hadn’t opened his mouth Matt nodded to himself and got up.

“Never mind it’s fine. I’ll figure something out.” Neil realized his words meant nothing as Matt strode across the room and patted Neil’s shoulder before walking out.

Neil took that as a motion to follow the giant, so he followed him out to the hallway and down the stairs to the lobby of the dorm hall. Matt stopped and asked if it was private enough to talk, when Neil shook his head the upperclassman started for the door and unlocked his car.

After both men were seated in Matt’s vehicle Matt waited for Neil to speak. After several minutes passed Neil finally said

“I need help. Andrew is sending me sexual text messages and I don’t know how to respond.”

As soon as the word sexual escaped Neil’s mouth Matt released a giant breath of air in a short, startled laugh and visibly relaxed to listen to the rest of Neil’s sentence.

“Jeez man I thought you were in danger!” Matt managed to yell out before he started laughing.

Neil had not expected Matt to laugh and didn’t like that that was his first reaction so he reached for the door handle before Matt’s hand shot out to stop him.

“I’m sorry I don’t mean to laugh man, but after everything we’ve went through I was ready to talk battle strategy not sexting.” Matt managed to say without laughing but he still had a mirthful smile on his face.

“But we do need battle strategy. I’m losing and I hate it. I need your help to win.” Neil said knowing Matt was the only one he’d be okay with asking for help in this matter.

Matt laughed again before calming down enough to say, “Of course it’s a fucking battle with Minyard” and shaking his head.

Neil didn’t understand that part, he assumed normal couples “sexted”, as Matt had put it, but did they not try to see who was better at it? How is sending a text and not getting an equal or better response worth it? He didn’t care much what other couples did he cared about making Andrew content and safe and if sexting did that then he’d be the best sexter there ever was.

“I want to be good at sending them. Can you help me? What do you say to Dan?” Matt smiled again barely restraining himself from laughing again before responding to Neil’s questions.

“I can help you, but you can’t say the same things I say, Andrew doesn’t have boobs.” Matt had chuckled through the last couple words but Neil heard them just fine.

“Of course Andrew doesn’t have boobs. He’s a man. Here if you read his you might be able to help me beat him.” Neil suggested handing his phone to Matt.

Matt began quickly skimming the messages between Neil and Andrew and choked out, “Jesus do you guys never talk about normal stuff?” When he saw Neil’s confused expression and his slight tilt of his head Matt shook his head and remembered that this was Neil and Andrew of course they didn’t text about daily things.

Neil leaned back and watched Matt as he searched through the messages occasionally lifting his eyebrows in shock or approval, Neil couldn’t tell. Neil had warred with himself all day about whether or not asking Matt for help would be beneficial enough that it’s be worth the consequences and finally he was starting to feel safer about it. Matt made a few comments here and there mainly pointing out reoccurring actions Andrew had sent and said that meant it was probably something Andrew himself liked. Neil listened carefully and took mental notes, content to sit with Matt and plot his victory. It had been almost an hour since Neil had gotten off the couch, carefully removing Andrew’s feet from his lap and had marched to Matt’s door and he was feel so much better about everything that he jumped a little when his phone vibrated earning a whine from Matt about how far up he had scrolled. Neil looked at Matt waiting for the older man to read the message but he just quickly handed it to Neil and got out of the car.

Neil hopped out as well and was following Matt inside when he opened the message from Andrew expecting it to be another inappropriately timed text, but all it said was Why have you been sitting in his car this long. Neil’s heart raced at the thought that Andrew had figured out his plan so he quickly snapped the phone closed and raced up the stairs to the roof where Andrew was waiting with two lit cigarettes.

Neil accepted his quietly and sat on the ledge with Andrew content to be silently together for as long as he could manage. Andrew was looking at his face as if waiting for an answer to his earlier assertion, but knew he would receive none willingly so he said, “Did I interrupt something?”

Neil nodded and turned to look at Andrew. He took in the sight before him slowly and gratefully before resting his gaze on Andrew’s hazel eyes and giving him a small smile.

“I hate when you do that.” Was all Andrew said before moving his eyes back to campus.

Normally Neil would’ve sent a quick witty response his way, but he was feel too content, from gaining an ally and mentor in his struggles and from seeing Andrew with the sunset lighting his back red and turning the ends of his hair orange, to say anything so he just smiled again and laid on back on the ledge watching the clouds and smelling Andrew’s cigarette.

Next Chapter

[iknownothingihearnothing]

Sense8 Ep 3 recap: “Polyphony”

iHELLO, FELLOW SENSATES!

I have never ‘capped a binge-watchy show before. They’ve always been network shows so...pluses and minuses here. I don’t really have a set schedule to get these ‘caps out, ‘cause y’all watch at your leisure. 

It’s THE FUTURE.

Pretty soon, Apple will release iBall, where we can watch all our favorite shows from a chip installed into our brains via specially licensed Apple neurosurgeons and projected directly onto our eyeballs. 

For a nominal monthly fee, natch.

Okay. “Obligate Mutualisms” ended with Croome, who had just revealed to Will that he was switching sides, with a knife in his neck and some poor lady Whispers had possessed to do his dirty work slitting her own throat in the Rijksmuseum. 

Everyone goes apeshit. 

Security guards at the museum order everyone out. But Will needs to cause some kind of diversion to find Whispers so Lito steps in as Riley with his actin’ skillz.

Yes, thank you, captions. I figured he was, indeed, screaming. 

He saw the terrorist! What is this world coming to?! They need to CATCH him! He went THAT way! Etcetera, etcetera! 

I love Lito and his skillz. He probs started out in a few telenovelas so he must know how to bring the dramz.

*snort*

Wolfgang appears to let everyone know that he met someone who can help. Her name is Lila and she’s a sensate.

Kala’s Reaction Face is priceless:

Nomi, however, is skeptical. She wonders aloud how Lila and her cluster have managed to elude BPO thus far. Either they’re really cunning or working with Whispers. Wolfie asks her to find whatever she can on Lila Facchini, but before she can do her hacking magic, Bug would kinda like to be in the loop now. You know, it’s a little unnerving that Nomi talks to air all the time.

Don’t look at Wolfgang, though.

So now we check in with our sensates in their individual lives. Sun is on top of the roof of the apartment building belonging to the woman  who’s aiding and abetting her and Ming-Jun’s prison break, doing some breathing exercises. Kala is all dressed up to attend a gallery opening with her boring, non-badass hubby. Wolfgang is presiding over his newly acquired club.

He is basically sitting on a frigging throne.

Aw, come on. Y’all knew that GIF was a-comin’.

At the gallery in Mumbai, we are introduced to this dude, who is totally checking out Kala in his first scene:

His name is Ajay, he works with Rajan, and he’s THIRSTAY for some Kala.

I guess Rajan and Ajay are biznezz partners? And they both have the same taste in dem ladies.

Up on the roof in Seoul, Sun continues to do her mystical exercises and I guess we’re meant to believe it does something to Wolfie and Kala because they both excuse themselves--well, Kala excuses herself; Wolfie just says he has to piss--to use the bathroom.

Where they meet. And Kala asks what we all have been wondering:

Y’all have some weird toilet fetish that you srsly need to explore with a psychologist. 

So they make small talk about her new job and then he’s all “I gotta piss” because angst or not this IS a bathroom until she stops him from emptying his doubtlessly bursting bladder, asking him why it has to be like this and why she can’t just talk to the one man she can say anything to. His reply:

Yeah thanks, German Angel. What the hell is it with these Brooding Heroes who make blanket decisions for themselves and their women folk? If you love said women folk, shouldn’t you, like, consult them? 

But Wolfie’s gotta piss, and when you gotta go, you gotta go. Unfortunately, when he opens the stall door, there’s Lila.

And then, if THAT’S not aggravating for his bladder enough, Kala tells him that she may not be the good person she is pretending to be, etcetera etcetera and okay I totes ship Wolfgang and Kala but oh my GOD WILL SOMEONE LET THE POOR MAN PEE?!

Fuck knows how many beers he chugged down. His kidneys must be bursting! 

Kala is forced to leave Wolfgang when her friends find her to gossip about that “wicked man Ajay Kapoor”. Lila appears amused that Wolfie has a tortured love. He meets her in her car and asks her how she avoids BPO. She spouts some bullshiz about wanting something bad enough blah blah.

Me no likey Lila. 

In San Fran, Nomi has just finished telling Bug that she sees dead people is a sensate and he;s like--

Bug, for the record, thinks it’s fucking awesome as fuck.

In Seoul, Min-Jung and Sun are on the roof talkin’. Min-Jung asks Sun if those assholes who tried to kill her were hired by her bastard brother. When Sun confirms this, Min-Jung says this is a good thing; it means he’s afraid. Sun is a strong, kickass woman. But she has a soft heart. Min-Jung is a wee bit worried that her revenge spree will compromise that. 

In Nairobi, Zakia stops the VAN DAMN to let Capheus know that their infamous interview has already amassed 2 million viewers. And she wants to know if they can do a follow up interview. Capheus doesn’t look too thrilled.

Meanwhile, Nomi is watching a live feed of her favorite author at the bookstore she *would* be working at if she wasn’t a fugitive. And Kala has returned to the scene of the crime/temple where that stabby fun she witnessed took place last year. It’s the first time she’s been back since.

At the temple, there’s some kinda demonstration goin’ on. Annnnnnnd there’s also one goin’ on at the same time in Nairobi. People at the temple are pissed about the Anti-Idoltry bill, you know, the one proposed by Mr. Rasal, who was knifed because of it? That one. At the same time, in Nairobi, the price of water has been raised again and people can no longer afford it. 

Both protests are interlocked together. Capheus attempts to reason with the asshole who keeps raising the price of clean water: “Water is life.”

Wow. That kind of evil takes years of practice. Congratulations, you schlongfuck. Denying desperately thirsty people the only clean water around for miles unless they can pay an exorbitant price is MASTERFULLY dickish. Someone set up an interview with Wolfram & Hart. 

In San Fran, Neets saunters out of the bookstore, Nomi on the Bluetooth, and gets on her motorcycle when--

--she thinks she spots Agent Bent Dick Bendix, the sleezy FBI agent on Nomi’s tail from last season. Not wanting to alert him to Nomi’s hidey hole-boat, she gets on her motorcycle and speeds away to lose him.

And this is where everything gets mooshed. One dude in Mumbai starts a chant of “One truth. Our truth” and Kala is singled out as “not belonging” somehow and there is a riot. People push and shove, just like in Nairobi. There, a woman with an infant goes down, and the baby begins to cry. Capheus cradles the baby while the woman stands, gives him back to his mother, then regards the asshole with determination. There WILL be clean water for all, damnit! All the while Neets is driving like a bat outta hell to get rid of Bendix.

Scenes like that are kinda hard to recap. I never really know if I should describe them individually or sort of meld them...or whatever. It’s headache-y!

Okay, so, the next scene with the lab. Can I just say--

Cha, this show is GREAT, don’t get me wrong but there can be moments of WTFery. I didn’t entirely “get” what was happening here so I turned to some other recaps of the episode and that scene was ALSO emitted so those authors likely had no idea WTF either. Riley is...testing...something. And blood is being taken out of her. By some Dutch guy she used to be baes with. 

All I know is Will mind-warps in all jealous-y “WTH is going on here?” and Lito’s all I think they were lovers. And Dutch Guy is all coweyes at Riley “I missed you” and she replies “It’s good to catch up” and I giggle because--

And because Dutch Guy cannot take a hint, he trails a hand along Riley’s hand and she subtly takes it away and it’s HIGH-LARIOUS.

Dutch Guy is NOT getting into her Riley Blues. 

In Nairobi, Kobi Kihara, Zakia’s boss at the station, is interviewing Capheus on air. She mentions his father, who was involved in politics and was killed for it when Capheus was a young boy. Did that at all “inspire his love for social justice”?

Capheus is a Social Justice Warrior I guess? Man, the alt-right would descend upon the poor guy waving torches and Pepe the Frog flags and screaming about “Reverse Racism”. 

(And no, before someone calls me a snowflake libtard sjw pos [although idk if they exist on tumblr, which seems to be a very liberal social media outlet, right?] I am neither liberal nor conservative. I am independent/centrist with gay rights support, mkay?).

Capheus seems to have an AHA moment. Maybe that IS why he is so involved in the community despite naive hopes to keep his head down.

In Mumbai, Kala walks into her really awesome new place wearing a really awesome skirt to learn that her husband has been receiving fucking bomb threats.

(Aside: I love Donald Glover so much. He performed some standup at my university and did some freelance with my friend. It was AH-MAZING.)

Rajan tries to reassure her by adding that it was so poorly made, the cops laughed. Still, a special agent has been assigned to keep them safe for the time being.

Kala looks peaked. Where the fuck is Wolfgang? If anyone knows how to diffuse a bomb, it’s him.

In Mexico City, Lito drives to confront Mr. Pasquale, the father of one Raoul Pasquale, the last of Angelica’s birthin’ cluster and his former interviewer/lover. 

We’re also given a sneak peek into snapshots of a still closeted, pre-sensate Lito’s life when he met Raoul, before the plot devise explosion that turned him into a true sensorium. 

In said flashback, as these two hot, sweaty men are makin’ out on the terrace, Lito stops to assure Raoul that he’s not gay. Uh, just, well...

We believe you, Lito.

Mr. Pasquale bluntly asks if Lito was Raoul’s lover. Lito stumbles out a yes as we are shown Raoul giving Lito a blowjob.

On the terrace.

Yo, Lito. If you’re trying to remain closeted, getting a beej from another dude out there for the world to see you, by an interviewer to boot, may not be the best idea.

Will steps in to inquire about Raoul’s disappearance just as we check on over to Seoul and meet Detective Mun.

Or, as I like to call him, Detective Mun of my Heart.

Good Lord, that actor is so absurdly hot. I searched all over IMDb to find him and finally someone on twitter filled me in. His name is Sokku Son and he needs to marry me.

After that ALL TOO BRIEF scene, we’re back with Raoul and Lito, where we’re shown some pictures Raoul kept of Angelica and her cabin and also some stuff he kept hidden behind a large poster of one of Lito’s movies blah blah blah BACK TO MY KOREAN GOD. 

Detective AYOOOOOOOOOOGA--

--knocks on the door, shows off his badge, and introduces himself as Detective Yes Please Mun with the Seoul Police.

At first, Mrs. Cho attempts to act all innocent but Detective Yum Yum Gimme Some Mun shows her Min-Jung’s and Sun’s discarded prison clothes (kinda a stupid move; Wolfgang should’ve knocked them upside the head) and invites them to search the apartment, presumably loudly, giving them ample time to escape. 

In Mexico City, for some reason, Mr. Pasquale still has a VCR and we watch a VHS recording Raoul took depicting Todd, the sensate who hated being a sensate. He’s all dolled up like Jonas and that Drake lookalike and strapped to a table. There’s also Whispers wearing a hideous shirt and...Professor Kolovi, who is not an absent minded professor. The machine is turned on, and Todd’s dreams of being “normal” are dashed when he’s turned into--

Lito and Mr. Pasquale (and mind-Will, mind-Riley, and mind-Nomi) are watching Evil!BPO: Origins. 

Raoul called his father just before he disappeared, crying, and saying nothing, with Angelica holding the phone to his ear.

Back to Seoul and Detective--

There’s a bang, and Min-Jung’s standing with her hands raised over Detective Bae Mun’s partner knocked out..or maybe dead? At her feet. Idk, idk. BANG could mean anything to me. Be more descriptive, captions. But Min-Jung obviously surrenders to give Sun a chance to get away, which she does, running to the roof in her bra and sweats.

Sun does a lot of escaping in her bra this season. 

Here is another gratuitous shot of Detective Yes Daddy for you.

Oh, and furthermore:

Y’all, when I was first watching this batch of episodes and I tweeted out Detective Awesome’s picture, I got MAD responses. Like whoa. This guy has groupies. I think I got something like 400 hearts and 250 retweets, it was insane. That was like over two weeks ago and I’m still getting feedback. 

Mr. Son, you’ve got fans.

K, so Detective Delicious goes to arrest Sun when she starts wailing on him. He begins to fight back but she’s got the upper hand because she’s a Slayer-In-Training a badass bitch and Detective Swoonworthy is all--

While they’re fighting, he flashes back to a jiu-jitsu tournament wherein he got his ass served to him by a girl.

Yep, it was Sun. Which he realizes just before she knocks his hot butt out cold.

Sun returns to the apartment to collect Min-Jung (and perhaps put on a shirt) but Min-Jung decides she’s had enough of freedom. She just hopes Sun clears her name and gets revenge on her brother.

In Amsterdam and San Fran, Will, Riley, and Nomi are having the same dreamemory. In it, Jonas and Angelica are arguing about...BPO sterilizing sensates?!

Look, man. That’s BAD, okay? You never wanna do anything that the Nazis did. That is pretty much a philosophy to live by. “Don’t do what the Nazis did”.

Except maybe for wearing Hugo Boss. Those uniforms were fabulous!

In real time, Jonas mind-visits them while Real Jonas is being wheeled into some Evil Operating Room at BPO HQ in Iceland. He is no longer necessary to them. 

They’re gonna kill him. And they want the sensates to watch.

Jonas is scared. Hell, who wouldn’t be?

While the Evil Doctors are getting ready to Do Their Evil, Dead Angelica appears to help Jonas cross over. It’s really kind of sad because they really did love each other and she knows how badly she fucked up.

His skull is beginning to be cut open WITHOUT ANESTHESIA and the last thing he sees before he presumably dies is Angelica’s face.

Oh MAN THAT IS SO SAD.

I love how binge-watchy shows end eps on a cliffy like we can’t just click “next” to see what happens trololol.

PS: Sorry about the lateness. I had biznezz to attend to. And by biznezz I mean my health insurance. 

[silverlakeforest]

Sherlock S4 Ep3

(Warning: Spoilers, Swearing, Nonsense Rambling, and My Opinion [After seeing hate on this episode and people who liked I feel like this is only appropriate])

Before watching this episode I had stumbled upon so spoiler free things on Tumblr, and I found that a lot of people didn’t like this episode because of Johnlock. Before I get into anything else I also saw hate on people who liked this episode so let me me say this loud and clear People Have Fucking Opinions! I saw something had said only homophobic people would only like this episode and that’s bull crap. If you didn’t like this episode good for you if you did like it good for you. If you don’t agree with someone’s opinion then great, but don’t you dare call them homophobic or criticize them on their opinions. I’m sorry they don’t have the same opinions as you because they are humans with feelings, brains, a personality, and opinions. Geez some people piss me off. Now I’m going to be honest in which I am not a shipper of anything in this show. I don’t have any ships in this show and actually prefer it that way. Less romance, more mystery please. That doesn’t make me homophobic or any crap like that, that just means I don’t really want romance to be the main thing in a show all the time. Just because Johnlock didn't become canon doesn't mean you can't ship it. Hell no! Ship it all you want go crazy! Just don't call the episode trashy because of that. Now that that’s out of the way onto the episode! I’m typing this as I watch it so it’s pretty much my reactions as I watch the scenes just a little out of order. Let’s talk about that beginning with Mycroft because that plane thing is making me too hopeful that Moriarty is really back. It was so cute that he was smiling a the home movie of young Sherlock and himself. Damn then the I was waiting for a jump scare with those horror movie vibes Eurus knows how to show that’s she’s back I almost screamed. And Mycroft’s umbrella being a freaking sword!! Ah hell no! A little girl and a fucking clown this is literally my nightmare minus Mycroft. F that clown! F him! The umbrella is a sword and a gun! I want one of those. Never mind this was just Sherlock being a jerk…damn that was awesome! Really smart way of getting the truth out, Sherlock. Sherlock just said ‘Hey Bro’ I’m so done 😂. Thank god John was only shot with a tranquilizer. Probably one of my favorite starts to an episode. Mycroft just sit in the damn chair XD. 'Would you like a cup of tea?…The kettle is over there’ Mrs. Hudson being a badass once more. I’m literally screeching! Sherlock just said John is family!! That is the cutest thing! Young Pirate Sherlock with Redbeard is adorable. Wait Eurus can’t feel pain? Damn. Eurus killed Redbeard….I’m have a mixer of hating her and loving her. I feel bad for Sherlock, poor child. Damn Eurus was a crazy freaking child. This lady is crazy af. Pirate Sherlock love it. These Holmes kids are crazy and utterly ridiculous I love it so much, and John’s complete chill with it. I’m confused. Eurus confuses me a lot. Moriarty?It’s official this episode makes my head hurt. Mycroft and Moriarty five years ago visiting Eurus…wtf. Damn is he still dead? I want him alive. My head hurts. Nope it’s official I dislike Eurus I can’t hate her because of how amazingly clever she is but at the same time that’s why I dislike her. I think I need to stop and keep tying at the end because this is so much. Until then.

Okay so I just finished this episode and oh my gosh. How can people hate this episode it was amazing. Redbeard was Sherlock’s best friend. I have no words for this episode I was confused and I cried. Eurus needed a friend to save her just Sherlock did. This episode was so amazing I can’t even describe it. It is developing the characters so much more. It was beautiful and confusing and I love it. I don’t have any words. This season has has made me cry, but at the same time it was made me smile so hard. I love it so much and I understand some people didn’t get what they wanted, but you have to admit that the finale was beautiful. Rebuilding the flat and just seeing things go back to normal warmed me. I personally got what I wanted, and the writers did wonderful. The Final Problem was wonderful and you can hate it all you want but I loved it so much. I understand why people might have not liked it but I still thought it was wonderfully thought out and executed. I seriously have zero words. Thank Moffat and Gatiss for this amazing season can’t wait for series 5!!!

[captain-unlikelynutbouquet-blog]

Car insurance help please?

"Car insurance help please?

Hello I just turned 17 I want to do my driving test soon .. And I already have a car .. so I just want to know soon as I pass my driving license How much will insurance cost . - Peugeot 107 - 1.1 - 2008 Straight answers only please .. and can you please suggest cheap insurance company's or ways to make it cheaper .. thank you ..

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Can I fight a NYS TVB no motorcycle insurance ticket?

I got five Traffic Violations Bureau tickets on my bike: Uninspected - $145 Unlicensed Motorcycle Driver - $175 Motorcycle Unreg (istered) - $175 Improper plates - ? Uninsured - ??? The tickets will cost me more than the bike is worth. :( I now have the bike insured and a license; any chance the judge would show leniency (clean license/record) and throw out one or two of the tickets? (Do I postpone and hope the officer doesn't show up?) Also, I'd like to plead on-line but the tickets still haven't shown up (getting close to the 15-day deadline). Will I have a default judgment against me if I keep on waiting? Any idea how severe no insurance on a bike is for the TVB? Sorry for all the questions, thanks in advance.""

How can you justify paying this much for insurance?

my insurance was canceled on my a month ago so im shopping around. i have a friend who is a broker who recommended using progressive - for $711 a month. wtf. i have 1 speeding ticket, 1 minor traffic violation, and one comp claim. i used to have state farm and the most i ever paid was $240 a month. this is just wrong in all respects. how do they expect any 21 year old to pay that much? thats a rent payment. i have an 05 scion tc, im wondering if buying a cheap beater would affect the price at all.""

Would it be cheaper for me to go on my parents insurance or get my own insurance plan?

I am 16 and go for my license on the 19th of Nov, im paying for it myself. My parents have geico, i called Allstate today to get a quotes and they said about 210, please help!(:""

Why are the big insurance companies so much cheaper?

I am getting off my parents auto insurance and getting my own. The Quote from the agent my parents use who is local to the area was nearly two hundred dollars more per year than the quote i got from progressive. Is there a reason to use a local company? he tried to sell me on customer service but i only deal with my insurance company maybe once or twice a year so i'm not sure that its worth $200 to me. Is there a reason to use a local company?

Can I be covered under my girlfriend's insurance plan if we have lived together for a year and a half?

My girlfriend works for AT&T and is enrolled in their insurance plan. I just graduated from college, and have not started employment with my job yet. The insurance coverage I had with ...show more""

Anyone who knows about car Insurance please help?

Ok, long story short. I live in Canada, Ontario, the worst ******* place in the world to be when it comes to car insurance. I am classified as a high risk driver because of some petty thing I did, (got caught driving with my G1 license alone, when you need a passenger with at least 4 years experience) I want to know what my insurance would be now on a 1991 bmw e30 318is. I am 16 years old, my question is can I call a bunch of insurance companies and ask for quotes? I mean do I have to be at least 18 years of age to do this? Please inform me. I am pretty sure as long as I have my license beside me I can call insurance companies for quotes right? Also what do they ask? Just car Make, model, year, color, sedan or coupe, etc? What else? Sorry for sounding like a complete idiot, I am only 16 I do not know these things. Thank you very much""

Whats the cheapest auto insurance plan?

I hate insurance. I have no reason so far to need it. I'm a safe driver and i do not want my money to be drained into some company, which in time, will get more money from me than they spend to fix whatever may happen to my car. I don't want a flashy car. I only need a cheap one. So i could care less about dents and stuff. What is literally the cheapest auto insurance plan i can get in California? cheapest dollar for dollar.""

Car insurance for a peugeot GTI?

Ok, so I'm 18 and a girl!! i have been driving for a year. i want a peugeot 106 GTI 1.6 16v. i have seen one for about 2000 in good condition, BUT because of my age, I'm struggling to get insurance. does any one no of a good site where i can get a reasonable quote. thank u!!!""

Car insurance for open deed of sale?

i was in a car accident, a truck driver bump my car. i bought this car with an open deed of sale. now how will i handle this? the insurance of the car is named after the first owner. will i still have to contact her (the first owner)? will i still have to call the insurance company to let them know? again, this wasn't my fault, the truck bump my car.""

Long term car rentals vs expensive car insurance?

So about 2 years ago I got hit with a false DWI in NYC (passed breathalyzer test cops still lied and claimed DWI). But that's another story. Currently I purchased a used Landrover Disco 2. Geico gave me a sweet deal @ $1430/6 months until they ran the DMV report and saw my DWI from 2 years ago. Now my 6 month rate is $3700/6 months. That price is completely rediculous and unaffordable (according to my pockets). Therefore, my question, should I just do long term car rental? I mean I have a super sweet discount that rivals employees discounts @ National and Enterprise Rentals. I'm thinking I could just rent on a month to month basis for less than $3700/every 6 months. The added benefits would be new year car models and the option to trade it in for any vehicle I choose for an entire month. Plus the gas would be less than the Landrovers V8 premium requirement. Basically my question is, should I do long term rentals or run myself broke trying to keep up with insurance and gas prices on top of rent and other expenses?""

Does anyone know how much your car insurance will go up on a 1st offence dui???

Does anyone know how much your car insurance will go up on a 1st offence dui???

What color cars are cheaper to insure?

its bugging me lol. i would like to know what colors are considered aggressive like red,black ect. and what colors they wont rape you over. so a list of aggressive colors and a list of calm colors. thank you for your help!""

Is there anyway to lower insurance rates after a traffic violation is on file?

Is there anyway to lower insurance rates after a traffic violation is on file?

My car was registered to an insurance company?

I bought a car about 2 years ago from a private owner. I just stumbled onto a free VIN report and it says the car was leased then titled to insurance co. No accidents though. Does this merely mean repossession or possible accident?

What would restitution be when my insurance is paying medicals?

I was hit on my bike by a driver of a car, who has since gone through the criminal court system and restitution has been awarded to me. So far, my own insurance company has been paying for my medical bills. What is my demand for restitution? Is it just the amount that the insurance does not cover (co-pays, etc.) or everything? What if I don't know how much medical help I'll need in the future? Is a restitution award a solid number, or can it be an agreement for the driver to pay medicals into the future, as well? I believe restitution also includes time I have missed from work (lost wages), etc.; Does it also include non-economic damages like pain and suffering? I have a civil suit against the driver, and I am just unclear how restitution from the criminal case works with the damages that I am seeking in the civil suit. Any elucidation would help. Thanks! I know laws can vary; I'm in CO.""

Is cheap car insurance is good to use?

Is cheap car insurance is good to use?

Short term insurance company's for 9 points +?

Hi i dont live in the uk and use my car for 3-5 days every 6 weeks when im there, i did have ecar insurance for 1 month when i was there for the summer, now that i want just 3-5 days insurance they wont quote me, ive tryed tempcover and they are no good !! all the ones ive come across wont insure me because i have 9 points.. witch is typical as they say they can insure up to 8 points... so my question to you is this do you know of any short term 3-5 day car insurance comapany's that take drivers with 9 points? its stupid that 1 or 2 mistakes leads down this poor road :P""

Can an auto insurance company suspend my license?

I was hit by a woman in a parking lot. In Texas where I live, certain parking lots are no fault zones if they are private property. I was in one of these no fault zones. I was uninsured at the time. She had Uninsured Motorist Protection as part of her insurance policy. I suffered no damages to my vehicle or person. She suffered $1500 worth of vehicular damage. Her insurance company paid for her damages. I was backing out of a parking space and she came flying around the corner and messed up the entire passenger door of her car on my rear bumper. Like I said I received no damage to my vehicle since I was the one barely moving. She called the police immediately after this minor accident took place. I was not cited on the ticket I received for any accident, only for no insurance. The officer informed me verbally that the accident was my fault only because she had the right of way but that there was nothing they could do about it because of the no fault zone policy. Anyway, now her insurance company is coming after me to collect payment of the $1500 they paid for her damages. I have not agreed to pay this amount because it was a no fault zone and I don't feel I should pay for it. She should not have been going that fast in a busy parking lot with a car full of kids. Although the unofficial technicality states that I was at fault, legally no one was at fault. Her insurance company is also threatening to have my license suspended if I do not pay the amount specified. I did not think that they, as a private company, had the power to have that happen. I've never been in this situation before and need an answer as to whether or not the insurance company can do that or if its just some kind of scare tactic to jolt me into paying but really has no merit behind it. Someone please help!""

How do I prove auto insurance to MN DMV?

My license is revoked and I need to prove to the state of Minnesota that I am insurable. I do not have a vehicle to insure right now, and don't understand why it would be necessary to get insurance for any period of time since I don't have a vehicle, but it is mandated by the state that I prove I have insurance. All the insurance companies I have talked to say that I need to have insurance for a year or the state will take my license again. Is there a way around this or is there an easier way to prove I am insurable without having to pay $1200 for a year of insurance when I don't even have a car?""

What is the average car insurance for a 16 year old?

I'm 16 years old, and just passed my drivers license test. I live in Washington State and am going to be driving a 2002 Hyundai Elantra. Does anyone know how much I could be looking at for insurance monthly? (my mom is currently insured with Progressive) -Thanks""

Car Insurance in CA - Question?

If my dad added me onto his insurance policy (Farmers) on one of our family cars, am I allowed to drive the other car as well? I believe that both cars are under the same policy, since the insurance company asked my mom which car she was driving when she was making a claim. Would I be allowed to drive both cars?""

Trade Cars and Transferring insurance?

Okay so I have a 1966 Thunderbird that I recently got running and insured in order for me to drive it around to sell it. Now I have a man who wishes to trade me for a 64 Thunderbird + $ however the 64 Thunderbird is not quite in drive able condition yet. Since I just purchased the insurance and plates for a whole year would it be possible to transfer the insurance to the other car with little to no cost?

How much will my car insurance be? 17 year old male?

I have been waiting forever to hear back from the insurance company with my quote and it got me curious on how much the average is for a 17 year old male who does not have the best grades but has a clean record and never been in any sort of trouble. I understand you cant know this from just guessing but I was just looking for some estimates so I had an idea on how much to safe for. Thank you to who ever answers!

What Exactly Is Life Insurance?

What I mean is... If my Mom has life insurance on me, then when exactly do I receive the money? And can I spend it on whatever I want??""

The supposed 40million that don't have Health insurance..how many?

How many don't have it because they don't care to have it? How many don't have it because they can not find an affordable insurance plan? How many in this 40million number are not legal citizens? How and who came up with this number?

Car insurance help please?

Hello I just turned 17 I want to do my driving test soon .. And I already have a car .. so I just want to know soon as I pass my driving license How much will insurance cost . - Peugeot 107 - 1.1 - 2008 Straight answers only please .. and can you please suggest cheap insurance company's or ways to make it cheaper .. thank you ..

How much money can I save on my car insurance after completion of the pass plus course?

Give me examples of how much you have saved or a friend or something

How can i get my insurance company (Infinity) fix my car ?

Hey i just got into a car crash last month and i've been calling my insurance company to come fix the car.. but all they'v been doin is taking pictures and asking questions about how i crashed.. and its been a month already and they haven't done nothing all they say is that they'r gona let me know whats gona happen later on, thats it... Any ideas ?""

How do I get the rest of the money for my car that insurance wont pay for?

So I purchased a 2012 Dodge Avenger from Carmax and made the mistake of not getting Gap insurance. Two weeks later a girl ran a red light and totalled my brand new car. Her insurance is only going to pay 16,800 when i paid 19,400 with tax title and license. I dont think i should have to pay money out of pocket for someone elses mistake. What can I do?""

Cheapest and reliable car insurace company?

how has the lowest quote out under normal circumstances? i know they categorize it based on age,sex, etc. just tell me who has the cheapest insurance.is it really GEICO?""

How much would like insurance cost for my 60 year old mom?

i will be paying but is it based on her income? im looking to buy anywhere from $100,000 - $1,000,000 life insurance she suggested i do but i have no idea where to start and what are some legit real life insurance companys? thanks""

Which insurance covers hymenactomy? ?

hi i want to know which insurance covers hymenactomy? i want to know if someone had it done and was covered by insurance and if so which one? i dont have one right now and i dont want to get one that will give me problems with covering the payments. thanks .

What car is cheap to insure for a first time driver?

im learning to drive and need some help in what car to insure. It has to be fairly big ish because im quite a big person. Any ideas. And if so what insurance companies are good for first time drivers

""Is it possible to buy a car insurance without owning a car, and then use it for renting a car?""

I live in India and frequently travel to USA. And when I go rent a car, pay almost double the rental because I have to buy all the coverage. I was wondering if it is possible for me (or my company) to buy some sort of protection policy, using which I can rent the car and not have to buy insurance from them.""

Which is cheapest car insurance in new york?

i want to buy a car but i know the insurance of the car is very expensive. I will like to know if there is a car insurance that i can afford.

Help me find affordable health insurance in ny state if i am not poverty level?

Help me find affordable health insurance in ny state if i am not poverty level?

Health insurance for green card holders?

My father in law is a green card holder for 3 years and just turned 65. I don't think he's eligible for Medicaid but would he be eligible for medi-Cal benefits (he's a california resident)? Any recommendations on where to get reasonable insurance policy?

Confused.com removed cheapest quote?

The other day I tried to get car insurance quote online using confused.com. The cheapest quotes were from admiral, elephant, and bell, the cheapest being around 2000 (i'm 17). However I realised afterwards, that there were some minor details in the quote that needed changing. So I changed them and now, none of these insurers show up in the results, even if I go back to the original quote settings. The cheapest quote is now like 5000. Why is this?""

""How much should $25,000 worth of life insurance cost for a healthy 44 year old non-smoker male?""

weekly,bi-weekly, yearly...whatever?""

Comprehensive car insurance?

my girlfriend and i both have comprehinsive car insurance on our seperate cars... does this allow us to drive each others cars too? i dont know if theres an age limit to it? im 21 shes 19 thanks anthony

Cheap insurance for new drivers? Please help!!!?

Hi guys, I really need some help. I'm just pricing up car insurance, I currently have a provisional licence and i take my driving test next week, I'm doing insurance quotes for a 2005 volkswagen polo s 55 petrol 3 door Manual car, and I've being looking at prices for provisional drivers and newly passed drivers and the prices are ridiculous. Provisional is coming in at approx 1300, which I can cope with for the year but as soon as I pass my test BAM! prices are looking at about 2,700. I've done everything right according to the advice in the internet, we have a secure garage, off-road parking, during the day it will be kept in a secure office car park. I've tried confused.com, comparethemarket, confused.com, gocompare etc and the prices between provisional and full licence are topping 1,200 in difference. Does anyone know of any websites designed for new drivers or maybe places i could look and get quotes which aren't on comparison websites? or maybe any tips that I could use to reduce the quotes because they are ridiculous. We've added on two drivers with over 30+ years each on and also my boyfriend with 7yrs no points. all have no convictions, record, points etc. Thanks :) Kirsty""

Would insurance for a small SUV cost much more than insurance for a pickup truck?

I am thinking about buying a used 2WD CRV, or something of that nature. I am wondering if insurance is typically higher on that type of vehicle.""

Cheapest car insurance for 18 year old ?

H there, once again i ask for thy help!!!>.. < ... so here i just bought a 2002 VAUXHALL CORSA 1.2 SXI BLACK, 1000 pounds, 90k Miles, im on a provisional license, hoping to pass by january. I will do aorund 6k a year miles. car will be used to get to uni, work and commute for shoping. thanks""

Can a college student go back on her parent's insurance?

I am a college student and in 09 I went off my moms health insurance and went on my work ins. If I move and leave my job I may be left without ins is it possible to go back on my moms insurance? I heard you can stay on your parents ins if you are a college student until you are 26 not sure if I can go back though.. Any info will help!

Can I own a car without insurance in NY?

I recently moved to New York from Illinois due to family issue. I am overwhelmed by the heavy traffic and how difficult it is to drive in NY. Fortunately the public transportation is convenient enough so I don't bother driving my car at all and about to sell it. However, my insurance is about to expire in days and I won't be driving this car until someone buys it. The car is registered in Illinois. Can I still keep my car in NY without insurance? What do I have to do with my license plate? What procedures do I have to follow if I sells my car in NY? I've been working very hard try to earn enough money to put my family together, any pennies less to spend is very helpful to my current situtation. Please if anyone can answer it! Much appreciated.""

Auto insurance quotes in New Jersey?

Hi, where can I get auto insurance quotes for New Jersey area? I need to compare quotes online and hoping to save some money. Currently I think I'm paying way too much for it.""

How much over your medical bills cost will an insurance company pay you after a car accident?

How much over your medical bills cost will an insurance company pay you after a car accident?

Best way to buy health insurance?

I had health insurance, up until Sept., when I could no longer pay the expensive ever-increasing policy. I now have a job, but it does not include benefits. Can I buy health insurance online? I mainly want a low-cost policy that would cover accidents. Thanks for any advice!!""

Car insurance extremely high?

i am 17 i haven't bought i car yet, and i have not passed my test, but i have tried to check how much my insurance will be once i have passed my test, i have done checks on small cars e.g vw polo, corsa, Nissan micra's etc but i have not found a quote under 1,700 i cannot afford this price, is there any cheaper insurance companies, or am i just going to have to save up 4 a long time.""

How can I get affordable Medical Insurance for my family?

My wife and I are hoping to have another child soon. Were getting alot of our debt paid off since I am working overtime. However our current Insurance doesn't offer maternity ...show more

How much should I ask for the compensation from insurance?

I had a car accident and the fault side's insurance compay paid for body repair ( abuot $960 in their recommanded bodyshop ) and also the rental (my car is still in bodyshop). I am not sure if I need to ask some compensations for diminished value of my car and also missed work hour on dealing with the accident. I never done this before. My car is 1997 Toyata Collora and the private value from KBB is $3185 (for good condition), some people said the compensation for diminished value could be 40% of the KBB private value, which to me is 3185 x 0.4 = $1274. They are going to replace the right fender, repair and repaint the passenger side door. So I want to know if I ask for $1274 from insurance is fair. I hope anyone can give me some advises on how to deal with this. Thank you!""

Car insurance help please?

Hello I just turned 17 I want to do my driving test soon .. And I already have a car .. so I just want to know soon as I pass my driving license How much will insurance cost . - Peugeot 107 - 1.1 - 2008 Straight answers only please .. and can you please suggest cheap insurance company's or ways to make it cheaper .. thank you ..

Business names?What is a good name for an insurance agency?

What is the best name for an insurance agency

Car insurance? Who is covered? Who is responsible?

Okay I had a question about car insurance... I am on my grandfather's car insurance plan- I live with my boyfriend. I believe I am the only one insured to drive the car....My boyfriend's mother and step-father don't have a car right now and often times ask to borrow my car- I've been letting them until it was brought to my attention that they may not be covered in that car? Does this mean I would be responsible for anything that happened? Or would they? If another car was at fault for the accident what would happen? Anyone know how this works?

""If I get liability only insurance, and somebody else crashes into me, will I get my car repaired?""

My grandma recently gave me a 2005 civic as a gift. Its great but comprehensive insurance is $230 a month. Ive looked around and thats about as cheap as it gets (I am a teenage male that's why its so expensive, despite my flawless driving record). I have been considering getting liability only insurance for a month or 2 because I need to get more hours at work to be able to afford comprehensive. If I get into an accident thats not my fault will i be out of luck or will the at fault driver have to repair my car?""

How much should I expect to pay for car insurance?

I am a 16 year old male in Texas. Having a sports car, being a male, and a teen, approximately how much am I looking to pay a month? What would be the cheapest insurance to have?""

""Automobile incident question. Who pays, the business or insurance?""

Im just curious, if a branch of a tree hit my car and cracked it moderately, and i was parked at the parking lot of a gym, does the damages get payed by my insurance or from the gym? If my gym tells me that the insurance pays for it, should i demand the gym to pay?...since my insurance cost might increase because of this incident.""

Whats your average price car insurance group 12 and Road Tax?

im planning on getting a car lexus is200 in a few months time and wanted to know how much you guys/girls pay monthly or yearly only on insurance group 12 and on road tax. Im 19, passed a month ago. planning on putting the car in my dads name and me as the driver. Dads a good driver had no past accidents (not sure if you need to know that). Thnxs""

I just got my license and have no insurance..?

no car yet but will soon have one...what do you recommend?what will be cheaper to get my own insurance or be put on my parents...

How much will car insurance go up for getting 2 points?

How much will car insurance go up for getting 2 points?

Cheap uk car insurance for a learner driver ? any good companies ??

question for pps in uk my husband just bought a little fiat punto got a provisional licence and wants 2 learn to drive in it we new to all this any idea what kind of cover he needs and any good not 2 expensive companies to try for insurance , hes 44 so not a young lad who wants to race about , he has a brother in law and m8 who both have full clean license who have offered to put the L plates on and take him out at weekends on a quite road to get some experience as well as having driving lessons too when he knows the basics , but we looked on nhet at diffrent insurance companies and they all so diffrent as anyone got any experience of whos the best company or comapnies to try thank you also whats diff with any driver or 1 driver and theres 3rd party etc , like i say we really are all new 2 this any info will be well appreciated thank you""

How much is motorcycle insurance?

If your 18 with no wrecks or tickets and the bike's engine is a 440 (not fast). Any cheap insurance companies?

""Receiving life insurance prodeeds, and my chapter 7 bankruptcy?

Can the trustee take my money that I will be receiveing from my moms life insurance policy?

Estimated car insurance premium for a Camaro/Corvette?

I am looking to buy either a 2002 Camaro (5.7L V8) or a 2000 - 2002 Corvette (5.7L V8). I am wondering how much insurance will cost me. The detailed information and questions are as below: 1. Age: 34 2. Have been driving in the States for little less than 4 years. No accident at all. Only one speeding ticket about 3 years ago. (I had been driving for 10 years in Seoul, Korea with no accident at all, but it didn't count) 3. I used to drive a 2007 Toyota Tundra (5.7L V8), which I sold a few days ago. I paid about 450 dollars/6 months for full coverage. Questions: 1. How much would it cost me if I buy either one mentioned above? (even ballpark number would be appreciated) 2. Do year and purchasing price (or resale value) affect premium? For example, buying a 2008 brand new Corvette or a 2000 used Corvette makes a difference? 3. I know it would be higher to have a sports car, but do my age and driving record affect premium? If yes, how much do they affect?""

Which cheap car insurance companies send the documantetion by Email only?

NOT by post, by EMAIL only""

How can i get car insurance on a car that is not in my name or my husbands name?

Our car (or my husbands car you might say) is legally my father-in-law's because its registered in his name. My husband's car insurance is also under his father, but his name is on his father's insurance policy. (so its my husbands car insurance, but his father is the main one on the policy... he's under his fathers car insurance more or less) The car is registered in Georgia, and the insurance is an out-of-state insurance from Georgia but it insures us down here in Florida (where we live). He has Allstate insurance. How do i come about getting car insurance on our car? I'd have to get it myself... i don't think they want me going under their policy (or whatever it is you call it)... id have to get it on my own. Would it cost a lot more because i'm doing it this way?""

""Insurance problem, auto?

recently took a new job in Canada as a social worker and tried to add business coverage on my vehicle. I was told by my insurance company that this would be commercial because there is some risk I would have kids in the car. I called another company who told me it is just business. The initial company is cancelling my policy as they do not offer commercial insurance which they claim I require. They are not cancelling it for any negative reasons but will this cancellation show up and effect my rates even though it is not my fault. I tried to add the correct insurance but they did not have it so they are cancelling me. Other companies say I do not need commericial coverage so I should be ok with business but because there is a this cancellation I worry. I know if you have a cancellation for things like non payment or tickets it will impact you but what about this?

Can you pay for Car Insurance in monthly instalments by direct debit using someone else's card?

I want to take out car insurance in my name but I do not have a debit card, can I use my mother's account to pay in monthly installments? All the insurance companies I have tried so far will only take a payment for the full amount and will not spread the payments by direct debit if the card is not in my name. Can anyone please help as I only have a post office account and am unemployed receiving benefits so cannot afford to pay the lump sum and have been turned down for a bank account as I have a poor credit rating.""

Does getting a quote mean that I now automatically have Insurance?

I just recently bought a car, I am 18 and I am pretty unfamiliar with how owning a car works (this is my first car). Now since I am so young I would just like to see what prices each insurance company will get me. Now my question is as soon as you accept to get a quote does that mean that they will automatically insure you. Because I want to get as many quotes as I can but just so I can make a decision between different Insurance companies, not so they can automatically insure me just because I requested a quote.""

""Im 21years old,male with a mazda miata 2001. My auto insurance to too high. where can I get cheaper insurance?""

Im 21years old,male with a mazda miata 2001. My auto insurance to too high. where can I get cheaper insurance?""

Where is this affordable healthcare Obama is talking about?

Private insurance is very expensive. No one is telling us where to find an affordable plan. I do not have anything right now because I lost my job and to get the insurance I would have to pay over 4 times what I was paying when I worked.

Can Anyone please tell me where to get cheap car insurance for my 17 year old son who has just passed his test

He Has A ford fiesta and the best third party only quote was 2898.00 .

Insurance premium increase of 50%?

I had an accident with my RV that was about $1,200.00 on my side and very minor on the other vehicle. The accident was considered my fault and being 1 point and my first ever in over 32 years of driving. My insurance company now has increased my premium about 50%. I am in California and would like to understand the criteria for this increase. It looks like the company will recover the full amount paid in the next premiums. Where can one go to understand this? Thanks""

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

I am in texas and want cheap auto insurance (liability)?

I only need what texas law requires (liability) have 2 accidents 1 moving violation my policy doubled please help me find better deal

Can auto insurance keep policy after being told to drop?

Switched insurance companies. the original insurance company WOULD NOT CANCEL the policy. Is this illegal?

Can I be added to a auto insurance policy?

Im shopping around for a car and insurance policy. The car would be brand new with only me as the owner. Because I have never had insurance under my name and am under 25, it is very expensive. I'd like to know if my dad, who has multiple vehicles, would be able to add me to his policy for my car that is not under his name. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Basically, I'd like to get his discount by having his name and mine on the insurance policy, although the car title is only in my name. Thanks for any help! (1 month I pay is the same as a 6 month payment for him. Lot of money)""

Car insurance help please?

Hello I just turned 17 I want to do my driving test soon .. And I already have a car .. so I just want to know soon as I pass my driving license How much will insurance cost . - Peugeot 107 - 1.1 - 2008 Straight answers only please .. and can you please suggest cheap insurance company's or ways to make it cheaper .. thank you ..

Price of insurance on a scooter for a 17 year old?

Ive been looking at a Pulse Lightspeed 2 125cc Sports Scooter Automatic Twist and Go, is it a good first scooter for a 17 year old and how much is the insurance around. If not a good scooter could you give some examples of good ones in the comments.""

How much does an accidet impact your car insurance?

If you had a slight bump with another car down a one track country lane. And you both claimed on insurance and the damage was about 200. When you next go and insure yourself how much more would it be approx. If you were 18

CAR INSURANCE question?

Ive just been made a fiance manager at work and my car insurance has gone down in price ! Can anybody tell me what kind of jobs make your car insurance reduced in price and why ?

Cheapest Japanese cars to insure for a 16 yr old?

Before you tell me that I need to call the insurance company to get a quote, I just want an estimate and I will provide as much information as I can. I live in Wisconsin, my parents have a clean driving record, and I was thinking a Civic. What do u think insurance might cost for a 16 yr old (I KNOW it will be expensive).""

Insurance for provisional drivers?

Hi all I am looking for a cheap insurance deal for one month (not a year).I hold a provisional driving license and want to practice using my husband's car. Do you know of any Insurance Companies that do this kind of service? Thanks

What are some A rated insurance companies? or how do I know my insurance company is A rated?

Is their website that shows A rated insurance companies? I use a small independent insurance broker that represents several insurance companies. The broker is Control Insurance Inc and the auto insurance is Safeway

What is mortgage insurance?

When having somebody co-sign for a morgage with no $$$ down, how does mortgage insurance work? 1) Is it required? 2) Is it permanent? 3) Is it like a car insurance policy - where the money is paid, and if the insurance is never 'claimed' then the money is gone? 3.5) Does a mortgage insurance payment go towards the principle price of the house?""

Is it possible for me to have insurance in Texas and currently live in Arizona?

I have a Texas license, but I currently live in Arizona and am looking to buy a car . Would I be able to purchase an insurance policy from Texas and have everything be sent to my ...show more""

What is the cheapest car insurance in queens ny?

What is the cheapest car insurance in queens ny?

If I get a ford mustang (2000-2006) and get put on my grandmothers insurance would it be cheaper?

I heard it would be cheaper to have me on her insurance because she's older and has a clean record. And I'm pretty sure it varies by state. I live I'm SC

Can I be under my parents' insurance under a different state?

I am a college student with a permanent address in Illinois, but I am in California for college. I am planning on getting a car in California. Can I get insurance under my parents' policy? What is the cheapest way of doing so? Should I register the car under their name or my name?""

Can I drive my car without my name on the insurance?

My husband and I own the vehicle and we have insurance on the vehicle with only my husband's name. Will I get in trouble driving it, even though the vehicle s under my name but not the insurance. This is mainly due to price of insurance. Me being on it will sky rocket he insurance.""

What does comprehensive coverage mean as far as insurance?

What does it actually mean regarding medical insurance AND with car insurance? What kind of things do they cover?

Insurance premium increase for life insurance.?

Can my insurance company increase premiums (from $175.29 a quarter to $331.86 per quarter)when ever they wish? I retained my group life insurance for myself ($70,000)and for my husband ($50,000)after leaving my employment 15 years ago. Connecticut General(CIGNA Group) recently increased the premiums to the amount specified and said if we did not like it we could cancel. I've paid so much money into these policies and I do not wish to cancel now. There's no cash value on either one. We are in our fifties and preparing to retire and will not be able to afford premiums this high. What can we do, if anything? Any light you can shed on this issue is greatly appreciated. Thanking you in advance for your time and assistance.""

Car Insurance Quotes?

Need help with some insurance quotes. Looking to pay cash for a car maybe a 2001 impala, 2000 honda accord, 2001 toyota camry. Need a couple of estimates on how much insurance would be. Driver is over 25, clean driving record, female driver. Lives in Florida. Thanks""

Where to have my car insurance?

My insurance is up for renewal soon and I have a little dilemma. 4 days a week I work away from home living with realatives close to my job and the other 3 days I am at home. not the best situation but as I can't take my kids out of school I have to go where the work is. Now If I insure my car at my realtives address it is 200 cheaper then at my family home but can I legally insure my car away from the family home.

About how much will my auto insurance be a month?

im about to turn 16 and im getting a 2010 camaro ss. and i dont care for yalls opinions u dont need a car that fast or ur spoiled just answer the question and i live in texas

How much does car insurance cost for a 19y/o?

Hey, I just wanted to know what is the avarage cost of car insurance in California( San Diego) for a 19 yearold female and college student""

Does getting car insurance quotes lower your credit score?

I was wondering if getting multiple insurance quotes can significantly lower your FICO score due to inquiries..especially if you have a limited credit history..

Can I get insurance and buy a car using Irish drivers license living in New York?

I will eventually sit the test and get a NY drivers license, but in the meantime can I buy a car and get insurance based on my wholly clean Irish driving licence?""

Where i can get tips of cheap auto insurance?

Where i can get tips of cheap auto insurance?

Question about car insurance?

I called up my car insurers the otger day to change my circumstances (Recently become unemployed) and they proceeded to tell me that car insurance is more expensive if you don't have a job, why is this and how in gods name is that fair, surely if anything car insurance should be cheaper for those who struggle to pay bills as it is, instead of increasingthe bloody premium, I was lucky enough to have the charge waved however how the hell are people on benifits expected to afford to run there cars? Lol really they are just making it harder to find work due to only being able to find jobs locally, is it just me or does this sound unfair?""

Motorcycle insurance prices in uk at 17-19?

Hello, I really want to get a motorcycle at the age of between 17 to 20 (preferably 17-18) but I was wondering how much it would cost for the insurance of a brand new Yamaha r125 and a Kawasaki Ninja 300 at each age between 17 to 20, thanks guys and it would clear some thoughts on how much it would be, what age seems good. I really want to get a bike before uni.""

Can I insure my boyfriends car in my name and him as a named driver?

We are trying to get the cost of his car insurance down and realised if we insure it in my name and add him as a named driver it is much cheaper. Is this allowed even though I have my own car? currently live seperately but due to move in together in 3 weeks.

Do i need condo Insurance?

I have a condo in a six unit building in south florida that is being rented out. The building is insurance by the HOA master policies (windstorm and liability). My question is do I still need to insure my unit? Thanks.

Car insurance help please?

Hello I just turned 17 I want to do my driving test soon .. And I already have a car .. so I just want to know soon as I pass my driving license How much will insurance cost . - Peugeot 107 - 1.1 - 2008 Straight answers only please .. and can you please suggest cheap insurance company's or ways to make it cheaper .. thank you ..

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/allstate-car-insurance-cheaper-than-geico-zerneisen-sasha"

[polygonaesthetic]

Blog Post #45

Here’s one I wrote back in 2015 and never thought I would release onto my private blog but I feel like it’s worth publishing this out here as I feel this is ever so relevant towards shifting feelings I’m experiencing right now, as I become much more comfortable with expressing my sexuality and being a “gay woman” becoming an important, ingrained part of my own identity. 

Reading through this piece of writing again, I do cringe and it’s hard to not omit certain parts and try and censor myself, when I must come to terms with the fact that these are/were my own thoughts and were exactly how I felt. I suppose by posting this online, despite this being my private blog and my actual identity is unknown to anyone, I’m allowing myself to feel vulnerable and exposed.

As mentioned above, me posting this comes from recent shifting feelings about my sexuality which may lead to me adding onto this post sometime soon, but anyway, here it is: 

----------

GAY: PT. I ----------

So… gosh… awkward isn’t it. Not really used to writing down raw thoughts onto the web.

I’m probably not even going to post this at the rate I’m going now, but oh well here goes.

I need to get rid of something on my chest.

Are you ready?

Here goes. . . . . . . .

I think I’m kinda gay.

//----------------------------------------------------------------------------// SEXUAL BEGINNINGS -----------------

Here I am. 12 years old, casually sitting on the bus when I come across an article on Cosmopolitan. Let me hasten to add that I’ve never really read the Cosmopolitan out of interest before, apart from the odd fitness article (“How to get KILLER ABS in 5 DAYS!111!!”), which I end up skimming over anyway.

To put it bluntly, the article was about sex… and a writer’s incredibly damn raw expression of it. Like: “hands clutching against the bedsheets”, “o lawd I was ramming into her”, “she reached the Big O” kinda stuff. And I’m not gonna lie, I felt something reading that article. Sexual awakening, pretty much.

I’m not going to lie, I stumbled across porn way before I read this article… and yeah… I watched porn a few times.. and yeah… I masturbated, yet I didn’t really know what it meant. I knew it was bad but, I never really understood the whole sex thing. I guess the only reason I found it so... well good... is because it was so "forbidden". I mean the first time I found porn, I was around 9 (roughly 2008/9) and my mum caught me... the same day... because in my scared flurry, I kinda forgot how I could get rid of all of the evidence... so instead of deleting those pages from my history, guess what I did... Yeah, I just cleared my Google search history, hoping that would just magically delete all of the tons of porn I had just subjected my innocent 9 year old eyes to. Woo. Fun.

So, from then on, I just didn't watch porn at all. I was so scared by it that I just didn't touch it. Obviously, after the last fiasco, my mum drilled it into me that I was dirty because I stumbled across porn and basically, only future prostitutes watch porn. Well I guess the whole world are prostitutes then...

I kid. But, as I was saying, I started watching porn again since I was 11, but not very frequently. I found that if I squeezed my legs together while I was watching it, it kinda felt good after a while.

So here I am, 12 years old, on the bus, reading this article, when I'm just kinda reading this article and I'm like, "Oh gosh. This is actually evoking some strange emotions within me, like they feel good, but they're kinda weird. wtf.", so I kinda started exploring in my head. I flicked to an image in my head of the first boy I could think of, so I could kinda attach some sort of personality to this weird man thing I had conjured up in my head and well.. yeah, I won't delve too deep into what I fantasised with this person. Obviously, I knew that I'd never do that in real life and, as a matter of fact, I was questioning whether I was actually comfortable with doing it ever. Like, I wasn't sure I'd be comfortable to do this at all in my life. Which leads me onto the next chapter.

//----------------------------------------------------------------------------// ASEXY AND I KNOW IT -------------------

Next kinda chapter of this, is kinda after me finding out and exploring what sex kinda is, and my sexual feelings, and now after finding out that different sexualities are a thing and don't really discriminate (I'll come to this a little later in this series. Can I even call it a series? idk.). So now I'm kinda questioning my sexuality. This is just after I had a super huge dark spot in my life where I struggled with coming to terms with my Asperger's and it was a huge part of my life and I just tried to stick labels on myself and wow, such confusing stuff, but I'll try to stay on topic, so I'll come back to this in a different blog post.

So, it was on an Asperger's forum where I first heard about asexuality, and previous to that, sexuality was pretty much: you're either straight... or you're gay. So a pretty black and white view. The more I started to read about asexuality, the more it kinda resonated with me.

My thoughts were like, "Hold up. You've been having these feelings for a pretty long time, but wait... remember how you watch porn and you fantasize... obviously you can't be asexual. But wait, you know that you get freaked out about sex and you never truly have any sexual feelings towards anyone.". And let me just point out that at this point in my life, I was a very confused person and just wanted to fit /somewhere/. To fit some sort of label, which I obviously now realise wasn't a very smart move.

So I decided I was asexual. I felt like I finally found out who I was. And to this day, I'm still not sure if I am asexual or not, I probably won't /really/ find out until I try. That's probably the only way that'll work for me. I'm a very hands-on person. I've only just realised how ironic that was. But yeah, essentially, I find out what I like and don't like by doing, trying and just experimenting. But obviously, I would never want to upset anyone by going into a relationship as a means of finding myself out. I could never do such a thing to someone.

Ok. So now I was asexual. I still didn't want to /come out/ to my mum, but I did come out to a couple of my friends at school and they took it fairly well, but obviously still had some questions that even I couldn't really answer myself.

I felt good about myself though. I found something I felt comfortable with and surprisingly enough, a few weeks, maybe month after, it was gay pride. Now at this point, I was still largely in the dark about sexuality and didn't /fully/ understand the whole LGBT spectrum and still had some stereotypes about LGBT+ that were sadly drilled into my head by my vaguely homophobic mother and general upbringing, which I will talk about in the next chapter, as I come to explore other sexualities.

So, where was I? Gay pride. I had learned quite a bit about LGBT+ anyway from Tumblr and the such, but still quite in the dark. So to see gay pride and the gay pride parade, I was like, "Gosh, wow, look at these people accepting themselves and who they are, gosh, that's damn cool!". My mum was also quite *happy* during pride (yet still managed to mock gays after, by saying that they're not "quality" people, go figure). I had considered coming out by that point, but decided not do, due to the "repercussions" of my actions and how "permanent" that would be. (you might have picked up by this point, that I was not /that/ close with my mum and not that comfortable with expressing myself, which obviously is something I'll go into later in another blog post.).

Well, that was it. I was asexual. Still not open about it, but if people asked if I was, I'd explain it to them. That was me set for then, didn't really pay much attention to sexuality that much from them on. Well... until recently. But that's another chapter.

//----------------------------------------------------------------------------// HIKING BOOTS ARE GR8 --------------------

So, here I am now. A so called asexual. Haven't really considered the possibilities of me being gay at all, or liking the same sex at all. Well, not much. There were a few signs, but I kinda just shrugged them away... like I do with every other problem I have! (because that's totally healthy *winks*).

Let me just give you a small brief overview of my life so far. Grew up believing homosexuality was inherently wrong. Yadda yadda. Had friends who came out as gay, became more aware, mind was opened, joined Tumblr and generally became more open and totally accepting and tolerant of all people, no matter where they were on the LGBT+ spectrum. I mean, I was always naturally accepting of people, if they had quirks, I was just curious, because you know... I wasn't exactly your common girl during my childhood either. So I was accepting of all sexualities etc. and I was, well, asexual, but I had never questioned whether I was ever attracted to the same sex, really.

I kinda believed that I was just fluid for a while. I just accepted everyone. If I liked that person, I'd just give it a shot, being non-discriminatory amongst genders etc. Basically, the try, do, experiment, "hands-on" approach I described in the last chapter.

That probably made me pan- or something, I don't know. But let's just say that I was just generally accepting. But recently, I've just decided to question something that was secretly bugging me for a while.

dun dununu.

Do I freakin' like girls?

The answer is: yes I fucking might.

As you've probably gathered from the whole series by now, I had a fairly sexually repressed childhood. Everything I knew about sex was from porn, things I heard from other people and just generally sheer curiosity. That's all.

Whatever I could find about sex, I was like, "woah. sex. woahhhh.".

So, I've kinda been immersed into gay over the last months or so and weirdly enough, it was the pride parade! And it was awesome! And it was great to say the least.

And also, weirdly enough, I started watching Hannah Hart again... and also managed to come across her coming out videos. So I watched them. And I was like, "hm... fuk. i probably do like girls.".

And it doesn't help that I go to a girls' school. And a lot of the people I hang out with happen to be gay (gaydar on fleek *winks* ). As soon as I questioned my stance with people of the same sex, it just hit me like a firetruck.

I've been making sexual innuendos with girls from my school since god knows when. I check out girls damn it. Gosh, even at pride, the way Ilooked at this one woman, only God knows what unholy thoughts were going through my head at that time.

And heck, I even have massive crushes on some of my female teachers. (I'm slighty sure Miss Evans is gay, but even if she isn't, may Jesus praise her body. sweet Jesus almighty).

And Hannah Hart. Where do I even start. (also rhyming).

Not gonna lie, I'm just gonna come clean. Some girls at school just make me go, "hot damn".

But yeah, that's kinda where I'm at at the moment, but in the next chapter, I'll go on to explain my skepticism of whether this is just a phase and my skepticism of my skepticism of whether this is just.. a phase. Yeah. Fun. Woo.

//----------------------------------------------------------------------------// WHERE'S THE RECEIPT TO MY HIKING BOOTS? ---------------------------------------

I might be closer to accepting myself as gay/bisexual/pansexual yadda yadda. But, obviously, as any person would... I have doubts.

Doubts about whether I'm just going through a phase.

I mean, even one of my close(r) friends, after I painfully described what I was going though, asked me whether it could just be a "phase". And I was open about it, and I replied, "Maybe. I don't know. That's why I came for you for help, don't make this any more complicated that it is.".

So the reason I have doubts about being attracted to the same sex, is... well... I'll just be frank.

It's sex.

You see, I'm wondering whether it's because I've just been conditioned to believe that PiV sex is the only one which I would find enjoyable and "satisfying" and that sex with a woman won't be "right" and it'll be "unpure" and not the same. Maybe it's because I've just been conditioned to only be "sexy" for men and "sexy" with women is just downright weird and deserves to be looked down upon.

Go figure.

Maybe it's because the only porn I've been "brought up" (nah, that sounds weird) watching, is straight porn, and is now the only porn I can get off to. And looking at "bulges" feels normal... and I /should/ be aroused by looking at a damn outline of a man's sexual organ. And that only a man will make me feel "right" and you can't have kids with a woman you love, because they just won't be "yours". Whatever.

I guess that I wouldn't really know how to have sex with a woman, if I'm being completely honest. I don't really know and lesbian porn isn't exactly helpful in teaching me that and I haven't really found any resources online.

All I can say now is that, women are beautiful, and funny, and intelligent and hawt. And tbh, everyone, regardless of gender, race, colour, whatever, can be beautiful, funny, intelligent and hawt.

So yeah, that's me done for now, at the time of writing. I might release another chapter, if I feel the urge to do so. I mean writing this has been kinda cathartic and I've kinda managed to accept myself that one bit more.

peace.

    ."".    ."",     |  |   /  /     |  |  /  /     |  | /  /     |  |/  ;-._     }  ` _/  / ;     |  /` ) /  /     | /  /_/\_/\     |/  /      |     (  ' \ '-  |      \    `.  /       |      |       |      |

~felderman

:::::::::::: ::26/05/15:: ::::::::::::

//----------------------------------------------------------------------------//

[thenegativethreepercent-blog]

My Introduction/Beginning of a Story Thing?

Hey anyone who might see this! Kale Salad here (that’s my nickname, if you’re in need of context). This is our Tumblr, and if you read our description, you know we made this blog because we have a YouTube channel! Coincidentally, I am a helplessly sentimental person who likes to think I’m good at writing things late at night. So if anyone (for whatever reason) is interested, I’ve started writing a lil thing about the three of us going off to college. None of what I write has happened (yet); it’s more of an imagining of how I might think things will go and I thought some people might enjoy it. Another thing: I used our (decently odd) nicknames in it so I don’t embarrass myself. If you’re interested, keep reading! Chapter one is below. :)

The night before we left for our pre-college road trip, I was a complete mess.  Everything I could possibly take with me on the journey that my two closest friends, Milano Cookie and Deli Sandwich, and I were about to make from Kodiak, Alaska, where we had grown up, down to San Francisco was stowed safely in my suitcase and ready to go. However, being myself, I found countless things to be stressed out about the night before, as usual.  We had been planning this one last escapade before we headed off to college together in California for months, and yet a million unanswered questions hovered at the back of my mind: what if we get lost on the trip and what if we go over our budget and is any of this a good idea at all and, most worryingly, what if trying to be an adult goes horribly wrong? After I had written my umpteenth to-do list and inevitably scrapped it, I forced myself to relax.  It was already 1:30 a.m. and, if I wasn’t careful, my obsessive need to plan was going to keep me from waking up at five in the morning for our flight.  I laid on top of my covers for a while, trying to get to sleep, but after almost an hour of this with no success, I gave up and reached for my phone, intent on texting Milano or Deli.  Although there was a slim chance that either of them were still awake, it quieted my anxious thoughts to try.  

Hey, is anyone awake? I typed into our group chat and set down my phone with a sigh.  I got a response from Milano within five minutes.

Yep, I neglected to pack until now.  Kinda panicking. You? I giggled under my breath, feeling myself settle down a little.  It felt good to know that my friends felt just as unprepared as I did.

I’m freaking out a little too. My obsessive-compulsive nature is keeping me up.  But I’m sure we’ll be okay.

Yeah. This is scary, but we’ll survive this. Plus, we have the whole Summer ahead of us to screw around before we actually buckle down for college. Think about all the fun things we have planned! Remember what our first stop is...;)

Another wave of anxiety mixed with excitement crashed over me as I remembered what we – I –  had planned for that first road trip stop. I exhaled shakily and hoped that the Melatonin I had taken earlier would kick in soon, whisking me off to sleep where my doubts might leave me alone for a little while longer. Finally, I typed a reply: Oh god. Is stopping there even a good idea at all? I haven’t seen them in years. What if things are different and weird? Please give me a pep talk.

Milano responded almost immediately, forever my fast-typing savior: I know you’re nervous, but you’ll be okay. :) You’ve kept in contact with them, so it’s not like you two are total strangers. At the very least, think of it an occasion to catch up. It’s just coffee. They asked you, remember?

She was right. That’s all it was – reconnecting over coffee. I was just meeting them as an old friend, and trying my best to forget the fact that we had some pretty serious history (oh god what was I thinking?). But none of that mattered anymore. I tried to ignore the thoughts in my head about the amazing time we had spent together in the past. Tried to pretend it was just coffee to me too. I chewed a piece of skin off my lip as I replied. Yeah, I guess I’ll figure it out. Thanks. We should probably sleep now, or we’ll miss our flight lol. See you early tomorrow! 

I forced myself to take slower breaths as I turned up my music and closed my eyes again. I would deal with my irrational doubts and fears about our plans in the morning. For now, I needed my sleep. We had a big summer ahead of us.

-

I woke up to an alarm I had set the night before, a horrible techno song I had liked for some reason in middle school, blaring unapologetically in my ear. I groaned and, while contemplating all the different ways I would like to murder my past self and/or cruelly destroy my phone, rolled out of bed and stumbled to the light switch. I checked my messages as I walked to my dresser, blinking sleep out of my eyes – from the night before, there was a response goodnight text from Milano, as well as three from Deli, a few minutes earlier that morning, asking us “why were you guys up so late in the chat wtf and also yes Kale you’ll be fine and also probably get laid shut up nerd”. I snorted – this was why I was spending college with these two.

Preparation to leave that morning went by pretty quickly, and I was surprisingly calm the whole time, probably from the shock of it all. I threw on an oversized sweater and leggings, haphazardly brushed my teeth and hair, and hauled my suitcase up the stairs. Outside in the dark of too-early morning, my friends were waiting for me in Deli’s beat-up, piece-of-shit red pickup truck, the headlights cutting a path through the mist in the air. Deli, as always, had her Spotify playlist blasting way too loud, and even though it wasn’t her car, Milano was at the wheel. I could imagine her convincing Deli to let her drive, saying with a giggle that she didn’t want us to be run off the road and die in a ditch by Deli’s terrible driving, thankyouverymuch. I smiled at that moment and knew that I had made the right choice in going on this road trip with them. There were no two people I’d rather spend my summer with. Before I rushed out the door, my parents both gave me tearful hugs, promising to mail me the rest of my stuff in a box once I got settled at Stanford in the Fall. I would miss them, but I knew it was time to leave that island I had grown up on behind.

I ran out to Deli’s pickup, threw my suitcases in the flatbed with the rest of my best friends’ things, and told Deli, who was in the passenger’s seat, to scooch, because I was not sitting with our luggage. When I opened the door, Milano grinned and handed me a can of Redbull. “Here’s your life support. I was smart enough to raid Safeway before Deli picked me up.” She jokingly rolled her eyes, smiling wider, and nudged Deli with her elbow. I sighed in relief, beaming at Milano, and took the can, thankful that I had friends who were aware of the extreme importance of artificial energy to my system at all times. Then, once I squished and maneuvered myself into the small space between Deli and the car door, we were off. It seemed almost like one of our many late-night drives, except now there was a strange and new excitement in the air, as if even the molecules were aware of our impending departure. All the way to the airport, we discussed the shops we would visit in Pike Place Market and what the lines would be like at Six Flags and how Deli was definitely going to buy me Dairy Queen once we got out of Kodiak because I hadn’t had it in years. When we finally got to the parking lot, however, we all drifted into silence. It was mostly empty of cars, since we had opted for the cheapest – and earliest – flight that day, and it seemed like the whole world was paused as we made our figurative and literal steps toward adulthood.

“Are you guys ready for this?” Milano asked, looking towards the gate, fiddling with the straps of her backpack. In that moment, I was sure that I was the readiest I had ever been, and Deli must have agreed, because we both nodded silently at Milano before the three of us continued to the entrance. A little coffee meetup was nothing if I had them by my side.

The flights were exhausting, but the Redbull kept me awake, so I spent my airborne time watching the sun slowly rise over the clouds, lighting them up with blinding pinks, yellows, and oranges. At our stop in the Anchorage airport, I started to get nervous, specifically about the “little” meetup for coffee that seemed less and less small and risk-free the closer our final flight came. Was I even ready for it? What if I said something stupid and offensive like I frequently did in normal situations? And what if things were awkward and unbearably different? It had been almost two years – I had no idea what might’ve changed in that time. I tried not to get my hopes up, afraid of being crushed again.   While all these thoughts darted through my head in rapid succession, I followed behind Deli and Milano, who were wandering aimlessly through the little shops and restaurants we passed in the airport, looking for neck pillows and a specific kind of chewing gum from Japan that Deli had seen once and wanted to try. I wished I could focus completely on worrying about the little details, like they were, instead of being stuck constantly thinking about someone who most likely had no intention of starting anything with me again. I shook my head, pushing those thoughts to the side, and jogged to catch up with my two best friends – I was going to enjoy this trip, coffee or not.

-

I let out an exaggerated sigh of contentment and fell back onto my hotel bed. It was around noon, and we had reached our Seattle hotel room at last. We had booked the room for eight days, hoping that would be enough to explore the city thoroughly.

My eyes were closed, but from my left, I heard Milano muttering. “How the fuck did you get this room for so cheap? The view is amazing and it literally has like five rooms.”

I cracked one eye open to see Milano gazing out the window at the buildings around us, and snickered quietly. “I’m a hotel witch, didn’t you know?”

Milano chuckled at that and padded into her room, connected to mine by a small door. She was right, the room was huge – it had a main room and a bathroom, with three separate bedrooms connected to it that were also connected to each other. The truth was that I had spent a fortune of my own money to book it – I wanted our only hotel stay to be memorable and enjoyable before we left our creature comforts and inhabited connecting buses for the rest of the summer. I closed my eyes again, which were startled open only a moment later as Deli hopped on my bed next to me and poked my cheek. I frowned and kicked her to make her leave me alone and let me sleep the day away.

“Hey, you have a date in about three hours and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to look like you just woke up from a nap.” She whispered, laughter in her voice.  I darted up, swearing under my breath and muttering that it wasn’t a date, just a meetup. As Deli scoffed and shook her head, I darted into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I still wanted to look presentable.