#wtf am I on about anyway like i'm not even sure half this stuff is valid I just need this out of my brain

[coldslaws-gear-station]

Soooo this is a bit awkward to say, but do you mind explaining the Lance arcs in the manga to me like I'm five really quick..? I never read those ones and I have zero clue how it goes, which low-key fucks up Eurynome's lore (which I'm fiddling with rn) and I'm sure you also have headcanons with the story that'll need to be integrated 😅

Also I'm trying to establish a timeline in a way, hense the fiddling. I've changed Eurynome's story into being founded in the viridian forest at 10, then raised in viridian city where she left at 16. I've also changed from her first Pokemon being mew to it being Gothitelle, it just makes more sense? But imma need all the deats with Lance, ramble to me please I actually need it--

this is doubly awkward. i have Not read the yellow-hgss portions of spe.. ive mentioned a couple times before that nhp (and a bit of rh) specifically used to be tied to the blogs of a friend, those of which focused mainly on gsc & hgss spe, who's since lost interest in pkm totally. and now it's sorta just up to me to fill in the blanks and even retcon a bit of it now that this friend is no longer really in the picture of my stories, because basically our lore was practically made in halves (i did half (unova), friend did half (johto)) that were totally enmeshed. so that is to say i never read lance and silver's stuff and relied on the retellings/hcs of my friend, and im not intimately familiar with what goes on in lance's side of things but i can give you the vaguest of rundowns. i am sorry 🙏

i guess this is the cautionary tale of intertwining lore with friends. but honestly i really enjoy what the concept of alder and lance being related has been able to do for ideas and stuff so i don't wholly regret it, it just sorta makes everything tricky now and is also why ive been keeping lance & co relegated to the bg. for one it just sorta makes me sad to try and portray silver and lance myself. and two i just genuinely don't know wtf im talking about for a LOT of lance's story..

but also hey at least it makes in character sense for alder to be cagey about exactly what went down LMAO

anyways as for the rundown

basically lance is a villain for about half or 3/4ths of his duration in spe. he has a whole N Moment where because he can hear the voices of pokemon he decides humans need to super majorly die rn and goes terrorist mode to get it done. so lance blows up like half of vermillion city with a help of a dragonair or dragonite (idr which one) and infiltrates both the team rocket and the e4 (which in spe, is already compromised by rocket if im not mistaken, like half the gym leaders and all of the e4 are evil in yellow istg)

then also similar to n has a come to jesus moment through the power of repeatedly getting her ass kicked by teenagers and is no longer committing murder but still kinda hates people, prior to gsc if im not mistaken. it's through hgss that lance seems to fully stop the hating people thing and chill out a bit via helping stop pryce from destroying the world

so that's the manga canon. and im aware that ive made time itself a bit fucked up and evil by the fact that i haven't really set specific years for everything that happens. honestly i kinda lost track of how much older n is than silver, which makes it WAY harder to figure out where exactly johto is, events-wise. silver gets kidnapped at age 2 which is what causes team rocket to start, and n is 8 currently. i think silver was a teenager as n was in their 20s so depending on how much of a teenager he was exactly, silver could probably already be born in rh, though probably not already kidnapped, therefore team rocket doesn't exist yet. which does throw a wrench in literally everything because before lance ever blows up vermillion he is already in the e4 which is already compromised by rocket, yet vermillion is already destroyed in rh because lance was put in a psych ward as a result. so. basically that's me saying ive created an impossible timeline /lh

we can finagle a bit and say lance did that before sneaking into rocket or whatever since again. rocket doesn't really exist yet. i never really liked the concept of the kanto pml being totally evil anyways. crooked, maybe, considering they'd allow a terrorist in, but idk! anyways yeah. im sorry that was a really lackluster and confusing reply. basically since ive mapped out so little with lance's timeline, when it comes to eurynome you have a good bit of wiggle room to figure stuff out, and if you have any suggestions of your own feel free to say em :]

also just as an aside lance and alder were also born in viridian forest, hence the pokemon talk abilities. it's just sorta spe canon that if you're born there you can hear pokemon in some capacity, and even heal them by touch which i omitted from lance and alder and such. but yeah that's all

[disarmd]

11 & 12 for Monaco LN Bodyworks (if you're still doing it)

do not let the incredible delay fool you, i am still doing the fic asks game, nonnie, haha!!! thanks for your patience, <3 and thanks for asking about Monaco LN Bodyworks!

i'm going to switch the order of these questions!

12: What do you like least about this fic?

i genuinely am not sure how i come across, but i do make an effort not to be too negative about the things i've written, like partly because i think it feels bad for people who did like whatever story to see me shredding it, partly i know negative self talk isn't helpful, partly in being derisive about my own fic people might apply that to things they've written. so i'm sitting here kind of frozen, because i found this story really difficult to write, but i don't want to be like I'M THE MOST INCOMPETENT FAILURE EVER TO EXIST. that's only partly how i feel, anyway. like to some extend, i don't think i did a good job with the multilingual pov character, i don't think i generally did a good job capturing carlos's voice, i don't think i nailed the technical writing for some of the scenes where i went too deep into describing physicality (because i was trying to do no thoughts, only sensations, but i don't think i competently pulled it off). AND i have realized that a fair amount of the discomfort i feel about the story isn't necessarily because i did such a bad job of writing it but because it was a difficult headspace to spend so much time with. i had partially figured that out myself -- once i got to the later half of the story and carlos and lando were spending nice time together, it felt so much better, and i was like, right, right, it's not exclusively that i hate this story, but also that carlos hates himself.

but then also i only really understood the magnitude when people commented about, like, yeah, really strong experience of shame and discomfort in this story, it was hard to read. like, oh! right! it was also really hard to write, actually!!! it's so hard to write about shame without also feeling it, and i felt it about the actual story, about the act of writing the story, that specific story about that content matter, and also just rps in general (the "wtf am i doing writing rps" mindfuck).

i saw this post once that said that commenting on a fic was kind of like giving the author aftercare (it's okay you did this weird thing! i enjoyed it also!) and honestly i think that's a great way to put it in general, but also something i felt very deeply with this story.

i know there's this idea that authors are just supposed to write whatever they want and never need comments/reassurance/encouragement, but i think that framing a) is impossible for most people and b) really discounts the valid and special aspect of like. relationality and reciprocity. like saying an author should never need comments also implies that comments don't count or matter, and i think the things that people say - their choice to engage with the story and communicate with the author - matters a lot, actually. we're part of a community. i think a lot about how people reading the things i write will be impacted, and i can absolutely tell that people are choosing to be generous and kind and validating to me. and, like, i do need a supportive community! it's vulnerable to write and share anything, and the stuff i wrote last year made me feel particularly vulnerable - I couldn't do that if i didn't feel safe. so to move to the the next question:

11: What do you like best about this fic?

i really really really have appreciated the things that people have said about this story, that folks have continued reading and commenting on it even past that initial posting period.

now that i've talked about the parts of the story that were difficult to write, there were likewise parts of the story that were so joyful to write. it felt so so so good to spend time with carlos and lando. i had originally envisioned the story being like. kink and sex but not necessarily romance, but i feel like i was falling i love with carlos/lando as they were also falling in love with each other, and it ended up being way more romantic than i had planned. i really liked writing lando's incompetent aftercare, and i find it weirdly comforting to just know those scenes exist. like it makes me glad to think that i could go and read those any time i wanted. i like their date. it makes me so so so happy to think of the moment when carlos says he likes the schedule and gets to experience lando's joy.

the mortifying ordeal of being known, but then the tremendous reward of being loved. and, for me, the mortifying ordeal of writing a story and the tremendous reward of people talking with me about having read it. <3

[oxymoronish]

Monthly Highlights: June 2025

I've started meticulously noting down lists of Media I've Consumed in my journal this year, so I thought I'd type up some thoughts publicly on this blog as well. This might turn out to be a regular thing, it might not. Ah well.

TV shows

The Bombing of Pan Am 103 (2025) The BBC/Netflix production, not to be confused with the Sky series 'Lockerbie' with Colin Firth which was fine, but I found this one a lot more compelling -- perhaps because I could relate with the investigative process and bureaucracy involved in mass fatality disasters (I'd just attended a training course at work on this exact topic last month, weirdly). Also loved the cast, particularly Connor Swindells (who isn't even Scottish, wtf? handsome, though) and Patrick J. Adams with their trans-atlantic partnership thing going on. Oh and the show's soundtrack is by Mogwai, which is very cool, I guess.

Brilliant Minds - Season 1 (2024) I went into this show absolutely wanting to hate it, LOL. Oh, so Zachary Quinto plays this Genius Neurodivergent neurologist who Doesn't Play By The Rules and will do Anything to cure his patients? i.e. Hate Crimes MD, rehashed? (he also has an enemy-to-lovers plot with a neurosurgeon, but, that's a rant for somewhere else.) The show tends to veer so much towards oversentimentality that it made me roll my eyes, and sure the medical science is wild at times (how on earth did 4 interns take half an episode to figure out heart block can be treated with a pacemaker) but somehow, SOMEHOW the characters won me over. And I find myself looking forward to Season 2. Hm.

Flight 149: Hostage of War (2025) Sky documentary on a tragedy that I knew little about. A harrowing and mad series of events, very well-told from the point of view of the victims.

Tucci in Italy (2025) Beautifully filmed. Stanley Tucci walks around Italy and eats food and is very charming. It's good. Will also watch Searching For Italy at some point.

Obituary (2023) Thought the concept was interesting. Irish series in which an obituary writer starts killing people in her town to help with her job. Weirdly gets billed as a comedy but I think it's a great crime drama, with lots of great twists.

Presumed Innocent - Season 1 (2024) Jake Gyllenhaal plays a prosecutor who makes a lot of shitty life decisions. Ruth Negga is his long-suffering wife. Stuff gets revealed in almost every episode that makes you wonder how he's managed to keep his job and family for this fucking long. I liked this mainly because of the legal drama of it all (again, because I'm obsessed with my work and everything to do with it). Characters will say shit like "Trials often come down to storytelling, best version wins" and "It's not about the truth, it's just about establishing reasonable doubt" and I'd be spitting out my crisps to go "SO TRUE BESTIE" -- the criminal justice system is troublingly imperfect and this series pushes it to extremes. Most reviews talk about the Big Reveal in the finale and I ended up bingeing the show late into my weeknight to find out wtf that was and sir, it was not worth it. Doesn't necessarily ruin the show for me, it was just 'oh, that's it?' Anyway, I also read this guardian review afterwards and it made me laugh.

Radio shows

Bleeding Hell (2025) Radio Wales show exploring various gynaecological disorders, including PMDD, PCOS, and adenomyosis - genuinely educational stuff.

What's The Story, Ashley Storrie? - Series 1 & 2 (2023-24) Autobiographical stand-up by Scottish comedian Ashley Storrie. The production and editing on this show is brilliant, I love the way the various voices from her streams of consciousness weave in and out (relatable). Pretty sure I heard Christopher Macarthur-Boyd and Rosco Mcclelland appear at some point as well. The episodes on dealing with autism and the Edinburgh Fringe (respectively) are my favourites.

Drama on 4 - Moorgate (2025) Radio drama based on the true events of the Moorgate tube crash in 1975. Made me cry a bit.

Books

A Beginner's Guide to Breaking and Entering - Andrew Hunter Murray

The Complete Maus - Art Spiegelman

Hellaween - Moss Lawton

Normally Weird and Weirdly Normal - Robin Ince

Games

The fan-made Conclave VN. That is all.

[mayshifts]

in need of shifting tips and stuff!! (very long post sorry)

so, i've been trying to shift for a year and a half now. i had doubts (obviously) but then i ended up having dr dreams AND even minishifts (or at least i think i did) - though i don't know how it happened so i can't just do it again on command. my theory is that it happened so "easily" and so "often" because back then i was in an EXTREMELY good mood (euphoric, even???? like wtf happened lmao) but that state of mind is pretty much impossible for me to get into again (that wasn't even on purpose in the first place)??? like?? idk how to get back in that state anyway.

now, i don't have doubts since i've already minishift (i think) and i don't think that many ppl would lie about it tbh. also, i genuinely think that shifting is possible because the world is so mysterious and vast like-- lol anyways!! i don't have any fears either because, like, you can't get stuck, you can script stuff in and out, you can go wherever you like (and so avoid the things you don't want to experience) etc. i've tried many things (i KNOW we don't need anything to shift but still): subliminals, reprogramming my mind (that was helpful tbh thx reya), guided meditations, meditating by myself, getaway tapes (still work in progress though i haven't listened to many tapes just yet), methods, law of assumption (still wip too), void state (not sure if i ever got there tbh?? but i think i did idk), and probably more. i'm determined okay??? lmao. also i'm not frustrated that it is not happening just yet (though i wish it was obvs), i don't think i'm overly obsessed with shifting, i'm pretty relaxed about things etc so idk what i'm doing wrong or what i should be doing/trying-

i've pretty much tried anything and everything but i don't know how to finally fully shift just yet - i really want to get there for good. i know it'll happen eventually but, like i said, i don't think i have any blockages anymore (i never really had any? like okay i had doubts but who wouldn't yk). i know what i want and where i want to go. maybe i am ready but my subconscious isn't? but if so, why and how to convince that mf that IT IS time??? like, at least just give me ONE full shift lmao i'm more than ready alright-

anyway, thanks for reading<33 and if someone has ideas, tips or whatever then feel free to give them!! (here or in asks idc)

[pencilofawesomeness]

Hi! I'm Naeme from AO3, and I finally got the courage to use the ask thingie cause I had some questions. The thing is tho, I braved tumblr and managed to get to the end of the HTRYDS page(?) so some of the stuff I'm wondering might be totally outdated and the questions might be obsolete. Oh well, I'll ask anyway.

For of all tho, I have to have ask: What have you done to me? I am not kidding for the last two weeks I've just been rereading this AU and thinking about it. This is exactly how I felt after finding and reading your AU this winter. Gosh, I get so intense when I reeeeally like something. I reread your entire fics, proceeded to go play Genshin Impact to move on, then I started talking to my sister about your fic because I needed to FANGIRL and when I was done I was so excited THAT I STOP PLAYING MY GAME AND WENT TO REREAD EVERYTHING AGAIN. My sister thought it was the funniest shit ever, she said I gaslight myself into rereading your fic. What have you done to me. Or maybe I'm the problem. I've been rereading everything but this time with Fairy Tail music because your fic it just that good.

I want you to know, that this is all your fault for creating something so magical. Also I've been rewatching some Fairy Tail episodes because of you and half the time all I can think about is ''Gosh I wish this was HTRYDS''.

ANWAY. As mentioned, I've read your tumblr posts and responses from a while ago and I got some questions. You might not have answers anymore, maybe you moved on or changed your mind and it's all good. I don't really post, but I do write a lot, so I know how it can be.

I saw a post that was about your vague idea of the arcs for this fic and their order, I know it might have changed, you were clear that it was open to a lot of changes, but I had questions about that arc that you called ''Teambuilding Exercises''. I feel like you talked about it somewhere but I couldn't remember what was said. I'm just so curious about this one because for a while now I have been wondering if the dragon slayers were going to join teams. Because it seems like you made Erza, Jellal, Gray and Lucy a team, which confirms what I thought that the Tower Trio (for lack of better name, sorry babies) never became an official team, but it also seems that Natsu just isn't going to join. (which is interesting. I do find his relationship with Gray interesting in HTRYDS, especially when it seemed that Gray genuinely wanted to go with Natsu to Galuna Island in Demon Tale (you broke my heart there, it was great (AND WTF I JUST REALIZED THAT DEMON TALE IS KIND OF THE OPPOSITE OF FAIRY TAIL WHAT--))

Anyway, QUESTIONS!!! First of all, what is implied with ''Team''. Is it Team, or is it Teams. Is the Team the whole of Fairy Tail? In that case it would be the entire guild working together to become closer. If it's Teams, the known teams right now are Laxus', Levy's and maaaaaybe Erza/Jellal/Gray/Lucy? But I feel like the arcs have to be about one of the dragon slayers (we're here for them after all), so is it Laxus? Or will Gajeel join Levy's team? Or Natsu Erza's? Somehow those last two ideas don't feel likely. Sooo, is it that the dragon slayers will make their own team? Or multiple teams? Like the oldest together and youngest together? I feel like Acno won't join a team unless you decide to put the whole fam in one team.

I AM curious as to if the dragon slayers will join any team or make one, even if it's unrelated to that arc.

Maybe that arc has nothing to do with the teams of Fairy Tail and it's a metaphor for something I don't know yet. Or another type of team entirely.

I've also been wondering whether or not there would be a time skip at the end of the Tenrou Island arc, but I'm pretty sure the only way I'll know that is if I read it. So it will wait.

You know what, somehow, it feels like if you answer any of my questions it might just be too spoilery. In that case, just take all those questions I have about HTRYDS as me being very passionate about everything.

Huh. This is really just me loosing my mind over the teams, isn't it? I guess it's because I'm currently in the middle of rereading Demon Tale, I always start wondering during that read. (also love Lucy with Jellal in there, they are so precious in their together. Geek best friends. And then Levy join in on the fun too!)

Gosh I'm a rambling machine. I guess that's why it's hard to comment for me sometimes, especially of the bigger works like you HTRYDS, because I want to honor all the hours and the thoughts that you put into such a big project and it feels like a little comment wouldn't be able to do that. I truly genuinely feel blessed that you decided to take this endeavor and even tho you might feel like doing something else, it's fine because you still gave us such amazing stories to enjoy with this AU.

So again, thank you so much for this AU. Papalogia and his little dragons will now live in my mind forever, I just know it. <3

Hello! Now you can receive your gold star sticker for trying new things lol. And to be fair, nobody *really* knows how to navigate tumblr, we all just (bad pun incoming) tumble our way through. I try to tag all my stuff well enough but my page could probably use some better navigational tags. Oh well. We all persist XD

Anyway whoops. I am honored to be the source of brainrot but as always it's unintentional XD. As much as I would like to take credit for the neat trick, because I need to use that on myself sometimes lmao.

Haha I'm not *too* indecisive so most of my rambling about plot stuff is still up to date. The "Teambuilding Exercises" arc is still very much on my timeline (and still unnamed, rip) and I am still very much hyped for it. I just mentioned it in an ask a few days ago, which is probably what you're thinking of. Funnily enough though, none of the "teams" in that arc will be actual teams. It is 100% me coming up with a funny reason to make new people bond, and then those bonding experiences turn into accidentally Very Personal adventures.

It's funny, I have realized that I sort of made the dragon slayers the floaters of Fairy Tail. Laxus is the only one on a team (Thunderstorm) and that isn't going to change. They kind of act like a "team" in themselves, except not in a concrete way, just the sibling way, and there are groups they frequent, like Gajeel tagging along with Shadow Gear a lot. And, I mean, technically "Team Erza" (as much as I call them that) aren't an official team aside from Mira joking to put them down as one, they just also do things together. I like to play fast and loose with group dynamics and give them the freedom to mix it up sometimes. So, like, there are the official teams recognized outside of the guild as A Thing, and then the people who often squad up. And then me sometimes finding excuses for somewhat unique squads, like me throwing Natsu, Mira, and Happy together in Demon Tales.

Which. I am so stoked you noticed the naming thing XD. I very much did that on purpose lol. (I jokingly refer to their squad name as Demon Tail in my notes.) It's also a fun double entendre, because in addition to being a play off of the guild and a focus on our lovely demon members, the whole arc is also about tales that come from demons. It's Galuna's quest and their past and present and the myth about Apophis and about the Timeless Valley, and with also that fun emphasis that stories does not equal history, but they are adjacent to each other. (I actually agonize over titles too much sometimes I can be very annoying about it, thank you for giving me this opportunity.)

Thank you for rambling! I always enjoy hearing it, and sometimes getting the chance to do it back. Also it makes me happy to know people are in the same brainrot pit I carved for myself and live in. It means a lot <3

[fluffytriceratops]

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 - 𝐚. 𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 [chapter one]

chapter one: "𝚖𝚛𝚜 𝚔𝚠𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚊𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚢."

notes: i'm not in uni so i don't know what i'm talking about most of the time huehue

chapter two: "bootymeat."

««•◦ ✪ ◦•»»

Friday, 2:28 pm.

y/n

guess who failed her mid terms??

*le cry*  

bokubro

wtf tell me you're joking-

tsukitsuki

i can't say i'm surprised

kendoll

we knew it was going to happen eventually

no one should be surprised at this point

tetsu

wth?! even after all my tutoring??

y/n

well fuck you guys too-

thanks for the support, dickheads

bokubro

hey!! what about me?? 😭😭

y/n

not you bo, you're such a bean i luv you 🥰  

bokubro

AHH I LUVE YOU TOOO SDJdfj 🥰🥰🥰

kendoll

you guys disgust me

tsukitsuki

i dont have the patience for this

y/n

eat shit

queen keiji

aren't we forgetting something? are we just going to let her off the hook that easily?

tetsu

HOW DID YOU FAIL YOUR MIDTERMS

tsukitsuki

cuz she's an idiot

y/n

shut up string bean!

and technically i only failed one class-

but i just barley passed in most of the other's so..

👁👄👁👌✨

queen keiji

but i thought kuroo was helping you study?

bokubro

yeah! and you sounded so sure of yourself earlier

tetsu

don't blame this on me, she did this to herself

you guys sit with her for hours on end trying to get her to focus. it aint an easy task.

y/n

he was- i'm not even going to try to lie, he's right 🥲

kendoll

like i said, stupid

y/n

kenma i swear--- i will destroy your village in minecraft dont test me

👺👺👺

kendoll

not my fault you have half a brain cell

tsukitsuki

didn't you help build that village?

y/n

fuck you guys

i'm going out to eat sushi & boba and i'm not bringing any of you 🖕

bokubro

heyy!!!

WHAT ABOUT ME

queen keiji

excuse me??

tetsu

RUDEEEE

y/n

BESIDES YOU THREE ofc 💕

tetsu aren't you in class rn? and bo do you not have practice soon??

tetsu

yeah but we're just reviewing stuff from monday

plus it'll be over soon

bokubro

shit i nearly forgot

wait for ME???

pPLEASE?

kendoll

i want boba

tsukitsuki

i want sushi

y/n

well too fucking bad you guys can eat shit

soggy anus's

tsukitsuki

do you not have class in half an hour?

kendoll

soggy anus's? the fuck y/n

y/n

i can eat fast

bokubro

NOOO WAIT FOR ME

PLESSEAE

testu

WAIT FOR ME TOOO

queen keiji

i would also like you to wait for me

y/n

UGHHGHGH

FINEEE

but no kenma or tsukishima, they can suck my toes

tsukitsuki

that's fucking disgusting

is that some weird kink of yours?

kendoll

i change my mind

i don't want to go out with you anyway

bokubro

wait actually?

y/n are you into that stuff?

kendoll

i wouldn't put it past her, she's probably into all kinds of weird shit

y/n

EWW NO

SHUT UP YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT

tsukitsuki

how am i supposed to know what you meant?

i think what you want is pretty clear, nasty hoe

queen keiji

if you guys don't stop pissing her off none of us are going to be able to go

tsukitsuki

idc i'll go out with kozume

kendoll

i'd be up for that

bokubro

WAIT I WANNA COME TOO

y/n

THATs IT I"M GOING TO GET FOOD NOW PISS OFF FUCKERS

BO YOU FKCING TRAITOR

queen keiji

what did i say

tsukitsuki

idc either way

kendoll

i hope you choke

bokubro

NO WAIT Y/N IM SORRYRY

tetsu

wait y/n my class is over in like 2 minutes

let me come with!!  

y/n

KISS MY ASS

except for kaashi and tetsu💕

and ye- i'll wait for you i'm outside of my english classroom

kendoll

ew no

i knew you were into some nasty shit

bokubro

Y/N NOO

I"M SOWWRY

I DIDNT MEAN ITTTT

tetsu

alright, i'm leaving now!

y/n

thats your punishment for betraying me

now you know how it feels

keiji are you able to come now too?

kendoll

don't worry bo, you can come with us

tsukitsuki

exactly you don't want to hang out with her anyway

we're better

y/n

fuck you!

bo don't go! if you don't go i'll come pick you up after practice with food! anything you want, my treat!

queen keiji

i can't rn, i am also in class but if you're going to bring bokuto food, can you bring me some too please?

bokubro

does this mean you're not mad at me anymore ?

kendoll

dont fall for it bokuto!

tsukitsuki

yeah, come with us

y/n

bo i could never be mad at you!!! i love you so much~! 🥰🥰🥰

and sure, i'll get you something too keiji ^^  

queen keiji

alright, thank you 🙂

bokubro

I LOVE YOU TOOO DFSJDF 🥰🥰🥰 get me something with LOTS of meat please!!

y/n

okie! keiji do you have a preference on what you want?

tetsu

okay im back im with y/n now

kendoll

you don't have to tell us that

tetsu

i wanted to 😎

tsukitsuki

that emoji doesn't even make sense

tetsu

yes it does!

queen keiji

not really. you know what i like i trust you.

bokubro

ahh i gotta go now! ill see you later y/n!!

y/n

alrighty! see you soonish bo!!

tetsu

bye bo!

queen keiji

have fun at practise

bokubro

byeee! and thanks akaashi, I will 😊

y/n aight losers we're off i shall see you at home

tsukitsuki

or you could move out

y/n

shut up prick you're gonna see my hobo ass whether you want to or not

kendoll

we'd rather not

Friday, 3:56 pm.

y/n

mrs kwan is my sugar daddy

tsukitsuki

what the fuck

kendoll

as in the babysitter from cat in the hat?

tetsu

i just cackled so loudly- everyone is starring as me

y/n

yeah that's her 🥰

queen keiji

i don't know how to feel about this

kendoll

idk if i should be concerned or not

tsukitsuki

there is something mentally wrong with you

tetsu

im all for it, id smash

tsukitsuki

any sliver of respect i had for you is gone

y/n

ikr? she's such a hottie 😏🥵 tsuki doesn't know what he's missing

tetsu

clearly 🥵

tsukitsuki

that's it im changing the locks when i get home

kendoll

I'll help you

queen keiji

y/n aren't you in class rn? pay attention

y/n

okay okay!

...

would you smash kaashi?

tetsu

we need a tie breaker

queen keiji

...

yeah, sure

tsukitsuki

ive never been more disappointed

kendoll

agreed

gru is better

tsukitsuki

i hate you all

Friday, 6:18 pm.

bokubro

what'd i miss? 😂 dunno who she is imma look her up—

ohhh! yeah id smash 👁👄👁🤌✨

[fictionfixations]

aphmau and other mcyt (mostly aphmau tho)

uh. warning for cursing?? and spoilers probably

i was going through my playlist and stumbled on aphmau songs (or well songs i associated with her? The Last of the Real Ones although I think it's a fan thing, Way Way Back?, Cause You're The One, Be With You, I Am Falling For You ?, Faster Car..) and HOLY SHIT im going through memory lane now wtf

it used to be so cringy i cant (lMFAOO there was like alpha werewolves… and like-- so much more that im not sure how to explain LMFAOOO?????)

anyway remember that time incest happened??? im pretty sure ein (who mind controlled aph) was like a half brother or something. but mind controlled her into loving him, and like attacking aaron theres a whole host of other problems with it anyway

and then something something happened- OH MY GOD remember WHEN ANGELS FALL??? WAF. or something like that. I DONT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED, THE CONTEXT? i know aphmau learned healing for his scars that she like caused him (i think she pushed him off a cliff and later? stabbed him LMFAO) BUT LIKE. THEY WERE BEING HUNTED DOWN. ??? i honestly only remember that masquerade episode. and all i remember is that it happened. i think people died.. and there was the forbidden. potion. i cant remember the name. forever..? something? it gave them green eyes either that or they were mind controlled by some other way but there was sad moment Also i think kawaii chan almost died. or maybe it was zane?? i havent even thought about it in years omg

i dont know if shes doing anymore series. and i think id honestly cringe if i tried watching cause its all kids content anyway. last i checked she was like 'people waiting for a series, it'll happen soon' or something something (maybe im making it up but i think she mightve said something about minecraft diaries??). except there were like controversies where i think she fired a bunch of people. and other stuff? idk i dont pay attention to that stuff youre better off searching for it yourself

actually oh my god talking about mcyt controversies. popularmmos?? hello?? (it feels like everyone i used to watch turns out to be not so great or something)

i still dont know if it was real or not. jen (the wife?) refuted it

but i think i heard somewhere they got divorced?? i dont know man im so confused. and i mean i wouldnt watch him now (i was just obsessed with those lucky block videos iirc) but it still really sucks??

anyway.

LOOK. WEREWOLVES. RAWR

Anyway series I've watched from her (I might've missed some because I didn't remember? Or maybe there was a period I stopped watching and then came back, and thus missed some):

Angelsville I think tho idk if that counts since it was apparently a survival series (I'm looking at the wiki)

MyStreet: Aphmau's Year

Diaries Rebirth

Dreams of Estorra

Harvest Valley

Heart Point

Mermaid Tales

Meteora Valley I think?

Minecraft Diaries (S1-S3) (i remember once an episode was posted with the same thumbnail and name or something as the last hehe)

My Inner Demons

MyCraft I think.

MyStreet (below are the rest of the mystreet seasons. 6 seasons)

Love-Love Paradise

Lover's Lane

Emerald Secret

Starlight

When Angels Fall

(ANYWAY prequels to mystreet now--) Phoenix Drop High S1-S2 I don't remember watching Graduation Days. or Falcon Claw University, but some of the thumbnails look familiar..?? I think I watched Phoenix Drop Days..

The Bigger Move (side story. if I saw The Big Move, idk)

MyStreet Holiday Special

New Years Party

Aaron's Ticket

MyStreet: Her Wish

A Woof's Tale (pdh side mini-series)

MyStreet Upsidedown? Maybe i didn't see it, maybe I did, but the outfit I recognize

Phoenix Drop High (S1-S2)

Ultra Nova

woo man thats a lot. even if i get rid of the ones im unsure of its still.. a lot. blink blink

[marmolita]

medical stuff behind the cut (nothing particularly bad)

So I've been having annoying headaches, and I went to an ENT and he did some screening to see if it was sinuses or migraines and we decided probably sinuses. I took antibiotics to treat sinus infection and it seemed to help but not 100%, then he did a scan and was like "if it's not tolerable then the next step is sinus surgery" but I'm still not entirely sure it's sinuses and I don't want to surgery. It seems to be worse based on menstrual cycle and weather at times which seems sus for sinuses but idk.

I also had a time my endocrinologist was like "headaches? hmm cut your synthroid so that on Sundays you only take half a pill" a couple years ago and that seemed to help at the time, but then all my hypothyroid symptoms started coming back, and also at that time I weighed like 20lb less than I do now and presumably my synthroid dosage depends somewhat on my weight so idk, I'm trying it again though.

Also, maybe I have headaches bc I haven't been exercising and my veins suck ass?

But now I'm thinking about migraines and how I often have a lot of floaters in my vision that are kinda dark/shadowy colored dots, and I've had them long enough to have had two optometrist exams with retinal imaging so I know my retina isn't detaching, but it just occurred to me literally yesterday that that could perhaps be the kind of "visual disturbance" that might count as a migraine aura? It's literally just extra floaters that are dark instead of clear though so for all I know my contact lenses might be dirty, and it's only visible in bright lights, so idk????

Then meanwhile at the same time I had a blood draw for my thyroid labs where she absolutely could not get my vein, even the good vein (I have terrible veins) and also I've been more sore/achy in the mornings esp and now I'm like, what if this is all really part of whatever undiagnosable connective tissue issue I've had for forever? should I go back to the rheumatologist who ten years ago was like "look sometimes a diagnosis takes years because we have to wait and see if any new symptoms pop up, but since your chronic pain is manageable with OTC painkillers that's honestly about the best we could hope for anyway"? should I see a neurologist in case it's migraines or some other brain thing?

sure would be nice to have a primary care doctor who actually was useful but that appears to be a thing of the past, it takes three weeks to get a 5 min appointment where he tells me "try these allergy meds" that I then look at the side effects for and am like wtf no

[lovemesomesurveys]

What was the year/make/model of the last car you drove? I don't drive.

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celcius)? Gah, noooo thankfully I have not.

What was the last thing you used your phone for, besides calling/texting? Ha, it's rare that I'm using my phone for actual phone things lol. Anyway, I'm pretty sure it was TikTok.

Do you have more male or female coworkers? I don't have a job.

Did you enjoy high school? I liked some parts of it. Like, I actually enjoyed the pep rallies and assemblies. Honestly, while a lot of it truly was tough and I'll still stand by that, I think as I've gotten older and looked back some of the stuff maybe wasn't so bad after all.

What's an unusual food combination you like? I haven't had it in so long, but I actually think adding mayo to ramen is good.

What's the longest stretch of time you've spent completely alone? Just like half a day.

Have you ever lived in a studio apartment? No.

Did your parents allow you to drink soda when you were a kid? Yeah.

Do you always check the prices of things when you buy groceries? Of course. I don't have money coming out my ass. However, I do sometimes randomly throw stuff in, but it's a snack or drink and I know it doesn't cost much.

Do you like gyoza? I've never had it.

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a lawyer? No.

Do you use Instagram? If so, what's your current profile pic? Very, very, very rarely. I don't even spend much time on it scrolling through my feed or watching people's insta stories. I just posted something for the first time in a few years for my birthday.

Did you ever go through an emo or goth phase? I had my emo phase when I was 16, but let's be real it was never just a phase.

What are your thoughts on kids being given iPads to keep them entertained? I don't see an issue with it. However, I personally wouldn't use a screen as a babysitter and I'd set limits to screen time. Otherwise, I definitely see the educational benefits. It's just wild how kids literally come out the womb nowadays knowing how to use a tablet or phone like wtf.

Do you get regular check-ups with your doctor? With one of my specialists, but not my primary doctor.

What was the last thing you felt apprehensive about? I'm apprehensive about everything.

How many nights per week do you cook dinner at home vs. going out to eat? I personally don't cook, so in that regard zero. As for how many nights I eat at home vs in my case how many nights I get takeout, it's something like takeout 4-5 times a week.

What's a trend you've seen recently that you thought was really dumb? I will never understand the whole Crocs trend or the little charm things you put on them. I just can't.

Do you know anyone who has been evicted? Not to my knowledge.

When did you last wash your sheets and pillowcases? A couple weeks ago.

Have you kissed more than 10 people in the past 10 years? I've only kissed 3 people total.

Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Gah, yes. I was at an outdoor festival and it just randomly started POURING. It was crazy.

Did you leave the house before 10 AM yesterday? I didn't go anywhere yesterday.

What's your favorite macaron flavor? The Fruity Pebbles one.

How often do you have friends over to your house? --

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally?

How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? I last stayed at a motel in March of 2022.

What kind of technological advancements do you expect there to be 100 years from now? >> I can't fathom this

Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? No, I can't go on a trampoline.

What about a flip off of a diving board? I can't do that either.

What was the last hot beverage you had? Coffee.

[joellesolo]

So this past weekend, I listed this vintage school desk we've had for over five years on marketplace finally (it's a really long story; basically, I told my mom, do not give it to Peanut, we don't have room for it, we don't want it, she's never going to use it, don't you dare bring it over... guess what she gave Pea for her second birthday 🙃 anyway. Pea is seven, now. So, it's been over five years and this stupid fucking enormous desk has just been taking up space in the guest room, which then turned into Michael's office, and then eventually became Lily's room, annnnd here we are today...)

I am most likely not going to get my asking price of $200 (even though they go for $400-$700 in other cities), like, whatever, I'd be happy if someone offered me half of that, and just fucking took it off my hands at this point, I just want it GONE, thank you?!

(Oh, also, important to note! Please keep in mind: been SUUPER fucking manic for two weeks, med changes and shit, and then unmedicated since Monday; just, you know, VERY unstable and crazy and out of my mind, it's probably contributing to the pure rage I feel right now, just, an general fyi!)

Anyway! On Thursday morning, I get a message through marketplace and... well, uh, I don't really have words, so, here you go!

Uh... really, Justin? ARE you sorry to bother me? Because... it feels like IF you didn't want to bother me, you could have simply... not sent the message?

Like, damn, bro! So, obviously I get instantly enraged. Because who does this? Why is this okay? This guy is sending a literal STRANGER a message through FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE, of all fucking places, and he KNOWS it's inappropriate so he's trying to soften it?!

Also, I have my facebook privacy settings so if you aren't my friends, pretty much the only things you are able to see are my profile picture (if you go the my "my face" tag on my tumblr, it's my most recent post), my cover picture (a picture of the girls from a couple Valentine's Day's ago), and that I'm married to Michael. So if he attempted to look through my profile (which... probably 😒) he KNOWS I'm married. With children. And still sent this message anyway?!

But let's give him the benefit of the doubt? Even IF he didn't look at my profile, and DIDN'T KNOW I was married with kids, like... why would he think this was an okay thing to send to someone just trying to sell a fucking children's desk?!

... okay, I just typed that out and realized I take back the benefit of the doubt; he must know I have kids, because I am fucking selling a goddamn kid's school desk 😒 (yeah okay sure MAYBE I could be some vintage furniture collector but, I'm not buying that...)

Anyway. That was Thursday. I was super pissed, and raged about it to friends and family, and then because of my severe mental health crises, more or less forgot about it, and, yeah. Here we are now. Saturday.

So, JUST IMAGINE MY SURPRISE, when my phone goes *ding* and I pick it up thinking it's a mom friend or something, and instead I see the following:

... okay, like, I thought I was pissed the first time?!

Ha. Uh, ha, no? WHY DID HE THINK MY SILENCE WAS AN INVITATION TO SEND ANOTHER MESSAGE?! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??!

I have no doubt this is one of those "your body, my choice" fuckers. NO DOUBT AT ALL. This is absolutely what the people chose. They have been emboldened one hundred percent. It's absolutely just... ugh.

I told my friends, and they're all like, wtf 😡🤢🤬 I told my family, and I get, "well Joelle, why didn't you just block him!!"

... yes. Because this is somehow all my fault? I totally asked for these unwelcome messages in the first place by posting the desk, like, oh wow, how dare I?!

🤦🏽‍♀️

No, stfu, get out of here 😒 My next step is figuring out how to report him to facebook, obviously, so he doesn't send me any other goddamn messages. Because I feel like they would just get worse?

BUT. He's going to know it was me! Unless he happens to be sending messages to women selling stuff all over Reno? Because I will just not show up in his messenger any more... but he has my name? He can just try to google me and find me?

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I JUST GOOGLED MY OWN NAME AND THERE'S A GODDAMN WEBSITE AND IT LITERALLY HAS MY FULL FUCKING HOME ADDRESS ON THERE, SEVERAL PREVIOUS ADDRESSES, SEVERAL PREVIOUS PHONE NUMBERS, AND MOST OF MY GODDAMN RELATIVES, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS TRUE PEOPLE SEARCH AND HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET ALL THIS PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT ME?!!?!!?

okay well this is a fucking great turn of events now i'm scared to report him because what if he fucking GOOGLES ME AND COMES TO MY HOME AND TRIES TO HARM ME OR MY DAUGHTERS FUCK THIS

AHHH JESUS

sorry for having a goddamn literal freak out midpost

but FUCK TRUE PEOPLE SEARCH WOW

guess i need to figure out how to get all my information removed off there FIRST and then report the creepy fucker on marketplace?!!??! so much for resting today.... wow 😭😭😭

NONE OF THIS IS OKAY ABSOLUTELY NONE OF IT

[respitelocklyre]

Okay so I FINALLY feel like I'm settling in after move-in day and having syllabus week, I have a little free time to update you guys on stuff!!

The first few days leading up to orientation were crazy, sure, but like you wouldnt believe wtf happened DURING orientation. First off, I hit up the ppl i met at the cafe so we could go together (willow also dragged her roomie along and she totally promised she was cool but she was sooooo lame lmao), but we ended up being the last to arrive somehow. Turns out orientation here is, like, a small group activity and not some big boring thing in an auditorium so i ended up working on this weird group scavanger hunt in the library with the same ppl. idk, the statues in the room with the glowing pool of magic light ("the snarl"???) told us something about working together and being graded on teamwork. Since when is orientation fucking graded anyways???

We split up even more into two groups since we were running late so we could tackle different clues at the same time. I managed to pawn stick-in-the-mud and frat boy off on each other (with mettie as necessary collateral damage but whatevs im sure he didnt mind). I'm just happy i got to be with willow who so far seems like the most normal person i've met since the cafe. I guess that nora girl and that cute owl boy i met today were pretty normal too. Wait wait wait did i even tell you guys about my roommate? He was, like, dumpster-diving on day 1 so i did NOT get the best first impression on the weirdo, but at least he's letting me use his closet since he only owns like 3 shirts and 2 pants.

Anyways back to the scavenger hunt! It was kinda cute but also super lame in that way school-sponsored events always are. Muk had another terrible time in the cafe (but got a, like, bag of holding out of it- which i am SO jealous of tbh!!), i befriended a bush (no not like that, it was, like, an actual sentient bush) that gave me a cute morphing plushie, and then willow got a lantern for getting on stage! From what i gathered, mettie and the others spent most of their time playing with the magic light pool in the first room? It made them trip balls or smthn. idc what mettie says- i dont think microdosing on distilled wild magic is gonna make thad a cooler person.

I think they did get some health potions from it tho, and then they found some kitschy little school pennants from their other clue. Mettie got enough for all of us, tho he brought me a prismari one and like...idk. I'm still not sure about all that stuff. I have like a year to figure it out tho so 🤷‍♀️

Okay that was all normal stuff but HERE is where it got CRAZY! We were just about to regroup and finish our scavenger hunt, when out of NOWHERE this chest came to life as a mimic and chomped down on this poor little gnome lady! And then a chair started coming to life too! Everyone was panicking and tbh i kinda wanted to gtfo too but idk, my group just, like...rushed in to help her so what was i gonna do? Make myself look bad by leaving them all behind in public? Not on my first day lol

tbh i might as well have just run away though, bc finance bro immediately drops a sleep spell and ofc me, mettie, and the gnome (CURRENTLY BEING DIGESTED) passed out and the two mimics were, like, totally fine.

idk what happened while i was sleeping, but once i woke up muk was totally passed out and bleeding everywhere, but at least they managed to get the other student out of the mimic's mouth before that. Anyways i sawed that motherfucker in half and then sawed the legs off the other stupid chair-mimic. I mean, dont get me wrong, it was def a group effort to take them down for sure. Aside from the sleep spell i think we have a kinda rhythm going together, considering that was our third fight before classes had even started 🙄 🙄 🙄

And then finally a professor showed up to help! She apologized and told us these things just kinda happen sometimes because of the snarl thing in the library, like it causes wild magic surges and stuff. She took the gnome lady to the infirmary and gave us all a platinum piece for our troubles (she said it wasn't a bribe, but ngl its working on me anyways).

After all that, our first week went pretty smoothly- we're all gonna meet up to go to the career/club fair at the end of the week! It sounds like most of us do not wanna keep being baristas after what happened lol We also went for boba and a lil mall trip this week, since muk hadn't ever done either of those things before (they were homeschooled!) and i am always up for getting myself a little treat. Even better when someone else gets the little treat for me! I can't believe mettie got my boba order right on the first try. Like...oh, whatever. I know that entry was long but school has been waaayy crazier than i expected! Sorry for any, like, slow updates n stuff, i promise i'll be back to my usual posting once this place chills out fr

[gabzlovesu-archived]

VALENTINE'S DAY STORYTIME:

here’s what happened...

we celebrated valentine's day on saturday because i wasn't sure what my schedule for monday was gonna look like — nursing school doesn't stop for nobody yall and i can't afford to get behind. i had to study for an exam on sunday and the restaurant wasn't gonna be open that day, so we settled for the latest reservation we could get at char on saturday, which was 12:00.

ok say boom, friday night i washed my hair and prepped it for my wig and stuff, but ya girl was in distress because i didn't finish until like 1 or 2 in the morning and my hair was still a little damp. so i'm like, i'll just get up in the morning to put it on.

saturday morning i get up at 8 and to lay my wig — almost burning myself in the process — and do my makeup. and look...i'm no pro but i did wtf i had to do! i was on crunch time with only 3 hours to get ready and i mf did that! i literally did not get dressed up until the last minute and i was scared that we weren't going to make our brunch reservation. here's my otufit ig, i literally don't know how to take pictures so don't say nothing:

i tell him to pull up to my dorm because i'm getting dressed and it will only take a few minutes to get myself together and the resturant was just down the street. AS SOON AS I GET DRESSED I REALIZE I DON'T HAVE MY WINTER COAT! but being the bad bitch that i am i was just gonna suck it up and go out in the 30 degree weather and just grab my coat from the car. that would be fine right? NOPE! i fucking forgot that my sister took the car to work that morning so i wouldn't be able to get my jacket. when my bf pulled up i literally sprinted to the car with his gift in my arms looking like a skank 😭 but yall would do it too for a check!

we made it in time, we get our table with no wait at all. cool. and i just know people are staring at me for being dressed like this when its freezing outside, idgaf tho and they need to worry about they food. we had the stupid chocolate milk debate at the table lmaooooo. anyways, i got the shrimp and grits and he got the chicken and biscuits (ya know some real southern shit purrr). now exaplain to me why my shit was expensive and i got like a cup of grits and 5 pieces of shrimp and this man had hella food for less. i was cheated yall, but he did share some of his food with me hehe 🥰 we got desert also, which was alright but the options were limited and i'm a picky eater lol. here's my food:

he takes me back to my place so i can change into some comfy clothes and clean up my room before i go to his apartment. and we made a quick stop by walgreens on the way to his place.... iykyk.

so we walk up the stairs and he like pauses before he opens the door, and i'm just like, you good bro?? BUT IT TURNS OUT HE HAD ROSE PETALS LEADING TO HIS ROOM WHERE THEY WERE ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND ON THE BED IN A HEART SHAPE WITH CHOCOLATES AND A BIG SQUISHMALLOW!!! he knows i loves squishmallows, they're so cutee aaghhhhh. he also said that he will take me to get a mani pedi wenever i want; he didn't want to make an appointment in advance because he knows nursing school has my schedule all fucked up. then he opened my gift which was a basket full of candy, a card, the new pokemon game that he wanted so bad, and a nike gift card.

and ummm this is the nsfw part so go away if your not 18+ or you don't want to read it. so we started making out and shit and my clothes just disappeared like idk what happened yall 🤷🏽‍♀️ he at my coochie, as he should, and then broke my back while folding me in half like a lawn chair. there were some slipups, like a rose petal got stuck in my butt crack and i didn't even know lmfao, and i said "you gonna fuck me like a slut?" and he didn't respond how i wanted him too and i was embarazzed (he's so vanilla yall, we're working on that tho). then this man said — and i quote— "squirt all over my dick" EXCUSE ME??!!! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT BECAUSE I AINT NEVER HEARD YOU SAY THAT BEFORE OMGGGGG...but i did it tho sskksks.

when we were finish we really just laid around and had a chill day after that, we don't have to be doing much to enjoy each other's company. i watched him play the pokemon game for a little bit before watching tiktoks on my phone. eventually he fell asleep (that coochie knocked him out 😮‍💨) i was fighting off sleep but i stayed up to study a little for my exam. we eventually went on a food run with his friends that night an then went to sleep. i did unfortunately loose my BRAND FREAKING NEW set of lashes that i had put on that day :(

BUT I LOVED OUR VALENTINE'S DAY AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY BYEEEE!

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[faejilly]

1/2) I was wondering what you thought of the Malec sparring scene in 3b. I wanted to like it, thought I would cause I'm really kinda into that sort of thing, but instead it just, I don't know, upset me. I couldn't help but see it as just another instance of the show undermining Alec to makes another character look good and I hate when they do that. Not just because Alec's character is basically tailor made for me to take one look at and go "MINE" at (which it absolutely, 100% is) but also

2/2) it’s just really shitty writing to constantly diminish one character to prop up another. But I see so many people seemed to love it and am I being oversensitive?  

Hey, if you don’t like it, you don’t like it, there’s no oversensitive. AND I HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH YOU, so. There is that. 😅

I dislike the Magnus training scene on about three (four?) different levels, tbqh, and I can headcanon all of them away, but it’s not… it does not, imo, work as is, and if you can enjoy the pretty regardless, that’s fine, but if you can’t… that’s fine too.

First: the scene at the end of the previous episode, where Magnus asks for help, is one of the most beautifully done Malec scenes in the show, imo, because Magnus is bad at asking for help, and here he does, and Alec is so gentle with him, and has one hell of a clunker of a terribly written line but he makes it work anyways because that’s what Alec does and the way Magnus pulls him in by the waist when they’re kissing there in the apothecary (in what is arguably the one place in the world that is most Magnus’, but he wants Alec there too) is just. Sublime.

But the training scene doesn’t follow on that note at all, so even if it was flawless I wouldn’t like it just because it’s ignoring how we got there. Especially since I liked how we got there. It was so lovely! And then. Completely different tone.

SECOND: The stated point of Alec training Magnus was, based on what we saw previously, to help him retrain his instincts. That is, if he’s in trouble, that he would react physically, so there’s not a stutter as he reaches for magic that’s not there, because that delay in reaction time is dangerous. THIS MEANS… that sparring isn’t actually much help for that, not initially. They need to be training the reaction, which is like katas, or a tai chi routine, or the damn heavy bag Alec likes so much. You pick the reaction you need to have and you practice it over and over and over again until your body does it without you having to think about it. (And then you practice fighting to make sure you’ve got it.) That’s what Magnus needs. There’s no argument that he knows how to move, that he probably knows how to fight, how to spar, but he needs to change his instinctive reaction.

Third disconnect! Magnus has spent 400 years learning things, sure, but he doesn’t train and practice and physically fight every single damn day like Alec does, so… there shouldn’t be any question who would win in a purely physical confrontation, even without runes. Sure, when Magnus had his magic it’d be a different story, (but tbqh Shadowhunters are trained how to fight magical creatures so it still shouldn’t be easy) but HE DOESN’T HAVE HIS MAGIC, AND HE SAID HE NEEDED HELP, THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT. LET HIM NEED HELP. LET ALEC HELP HIM.

aCTUALLy, this is 3rd & 4th, because let Magnus ask for help, that’s a very good character note and a very mature thing that he needs to be able to do, and doesn’t make him weak as a person or a character or something, come on show…

and also FOURTH: let Alec be good at the only things you’ve said he’s good at! LET HIM BE PHYSICALLY COMPETENT at fighting AND ALSO EMOTIONALLY/MENTALLY COMPETENT AT TRAINING. Like. This is a thing it is strongly implied he’d be good at? He’s good with kids, he practically raised his siblings, he’s in charge of an Institute and has been half-running things since he was a freaking teenager LET HIM BE GOOD AT KEEPING HIS PEOPLE UP TO SPEED?!?!!!

Now. ERM. Where was I?

Right. The actually training. Showing a guy stabbing a mannequin fifty times is probably not as entertaining as some sparring, I guess, but that’s lazy thinking because, honestly, Alec’s hands all over Magnus adjusting his stance and pushing him to do it over and over ‘til they’re both all sweaty is golden, wtf show, the tension build-up would be glorious, because each time they’d get a little closer to breaking form, but they wouldn’t do it.

Gah.

And then! Then you could have a legitimately fun switch to sparring because they already did the work and you wouldn’t have this jarring disconnect between Alec trying to be serious and Magnus (despite being the one who asked for help!) just playing. They could both be playing! It would actually be them obviously pushing each others buttons! Because what we got was more Magnus giving up after one exchange and then dismissing Alec’s help and then Alec eventually going, ah well, wtf, guess I can’t actually train him, let’s kiss. Which, tbf, he clearly always wants to kiss Magnus, but it’s still a really weird dynamic, because that’s not at all where he seemed to be during the sparring, he really wanted to help and Magnus wouldn’t let him and Alec shouldn’t have been okay with that dismissal. 

So, honestly, wow, my italics abuse is off the charts today, sorry. Um. I don’t like the scene because it undermines Magnus, makes him look petty and disrespectful (ymmv! obviously!) in a way that I feel is out of character, and it also undermines one of the few chances the show gave Alec to be good at what he does. Like, it says he’s good at what he does, but then it only ever shows him failing and that’s… depressing and distressing on a couple different levels.

And it’s especially distressing, because a lot (not all, but a fair bit) of the training and fight scenes they’ve done for other characters/plots have been very in character, so the fact that this isn’t is, much like the other stuff I talked about in 3b earlier, even MORE annoying because they almost got there. They set it up so well, they’ve done emotional compelling choreography before, it should have been better.

NOW. If you ignore the context and are just watching them dance around the training room, yes it’s pretty, but it doesn’t (for me) fit the set-up the previous episode gave it, and it doesn’t do justice to either of the characters.

[parf-fan]

Hello! I'm going to the faire in fifteen days (I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED) and I was wondering what shows there are not to miss this year? I already know I'll be at all of the jousts, queen's court, and finale, but was wondering if there are any other shows that I shouldn't miss?

AAAAAAAAAAA I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO BE BACK!!

First off, I suggest going both days of the weekend if you’re able.  In order to thin out attendance at any given show, they’ve structured the schedule so that most super cool performances are competing with some other super cool performance.  For example, Disasterpiece is at the same time as one of the two in-house music groups this year.  Likewise, Teatime is at the same time as the other in-house music group.  All four of these acts are right before a Joust, meaning that you will have to leave one early in order to get to the other on time, or risk being late for the other.

My personal recommendations?  Well, as you said, Queen’s Court is a must.  And be sure to get there in time for the whole thing, pre-show and all, because to be quite frank, the pre-show is generally more entertaining than the main show, or at the least as entertaining.  I don’t believe that there is anything resembling Boons and Favours this year, so there’s not even anything competing with it.

Just after Queen’s Court is the Gaming Joust, which is an innocent joust in which nothing goes wrong (as far as I know), and is thus not a plot show, which is something to be aware of.

I am notorious for caring very little about out-of-house acts at PARF as compared to in-house acts, with a few exceptions.  The archetype of this exception, Rowan and the Rose, is not present this season.  However, the other duo of which Rowan Thorn (Arthur Rowan, head writer) is a part, Two Bard Party, is, in fact, there this season.  Now, I don’t know whether you’re going the weekend of the 10th and 11th, or the 17th and 18th, because I wasn’t looking at my askbox often enough to be able to tell when this arrived.  If you’re going the 17th and 18th, you may be out of luck as far as Two Bard Party goes, as that is the one weekend they are listed on the website as not being present.  But the Daily Writ for that weekend does list them, so plans might have changes and website not updated, which would be on-brand.  Regardless, I recommend this group most highly.  Geeky folk music at its finest.  Rowan in particular has an incredible knack for writing songs about very specific things in specific stories and telling them so well and with such good music (often courtesy of the group’s other member, Randal Piper) that one does not need to know a damn thing about the subject of the song to be completely blown away by it.  If they’re present your weekend, super duper mcfreaking recommend.

Whose Jest Is It Anyway was my favorite non-plot show back in 2012 and 2013, and I never quite forgave them for getting rid of it (well, the real issue was the lack of an improv-track show through which to get to know those characters, and that was solved with the introduction of Disasterpiece, but the point still stands).  But now it’s back!  It’s a half hour of short-form improv, somewhat filtered through characters, and it’s just a lot of fun.

For something quiet and small, Mags Cockburn at the picnic grove is lovely.

I definitely enjoy the music of the out-of-house group Wine and Alchemy, and my mom enjoys it even more, but their fusion world music doesn’t seem to be for everyone.  Or maybe the masses just don’t care about music in languages they can’t understand.

Judging by the timing of your move from PA, the show you’re likely least familiar with is probably Disasterpiece, although that’s surely not giving you and your youtube-watching enough credit.  If you haven’t watched any previous Disasterpieces, here’s a handy playlist of all the ones that made it on the magical Tube of You.  It’s the spiritual successor to Rumple’s tragic backstories, taking a modern story that’s at least moderately well known and adapting it for a half-hour slot in Faire-style telling, but with an added element of everything going wrong.  This is the show that, starting in 2018, fixed the issue of a lack of shows through which to gain an understanding of the improv track characters.  In 2019, it also had an overarching plot throughout the season, which was SO COOL, but of course the individual performances could still be appreciated as one-offs.  There’s an overarching plot this year, too, and videos of these shows can be found on the parf-fan facebook (because I haven’t gotten to cross-posting them on here yet, and I’m not putting ‘em on youtube until my previous years are all up because I will NOT be mucking about with chronology and organization in such a manner on that platform).  Really super duper hecking recommend.

At the same time as Disasterpiece is Mags to Rich’s, the in-house asterisk group this year.  It’s a duo, and if you’ve ever enjoyed an in-house asterisk group recently, you’re sure to enjoy this.  I’ve only seen them once, because same time as Disasterpiece, but I wish I were able to see it more.  If I were able to go more than one day a weekend, I would.  Jules and Leigh Ann are so good.

Variety Royale is the Chess stand-in, and a good show for witnessing interaction between the characters.  It’s an in-universe competition between a bunch of out-of-house acts, largely non-musical, and the lineup changes weekly.  It’s enjoyable, though I do usually feel a little nervous about proximity, as there’s little else going on at the time to thin out the patrons.

Teatime is a MUST.  It’s Sir William Pickering as portrayed by Jonathan Handley and Sir Walter Roderick Kensington as portrayed by Alex Stompoly sitting on Swashbuckler stage throwing shade and talking shit for thirty minutes.  It is GLORIOUS, it is HILARIOUS, it GIVES ME LIFE, and I love them so much.

At the same time is Music With Her Majesty, the other in-house music group.  I have not yet attended this show, more’s the pity, because Teatime is different every week, and I want to film it as much as possible.  But I know the group is wonderful, for two reasons.  Once, they’ve performed at Finale in Pub Song a couple times, and have been excellent.  Two, they’re a in-house music group at PARF, which means the OF COURSE they’re excellent and highly enjoyable, that’s how that works!

Ultimate Joust is also a little nerve-wracking as far as proximity goes, and I’ve thus only attended twice.  I’d very much like to go a little more, though, because it is Absolutely Necessary to the plot and character stuff this year, but in a completely different way than is usually is.  I’m not saying anything else, but you really do have to experience it.

And of course, the closing show, which I have been calling Finale in Pub Song, which has not been catching on which is some serious bullshit because hello it’s perfect.  As my name for it indicates, it is a blend of the Pub Sing (which I have never experienced personally before, as it takes place at the same time as Ultimate Joust, and I’ll wager you’ve never experienced it either for the same reason, so here’s a channel the content of which is approximately half Pub Song) and Finale in Song.  It is not the traditional Finale as we know it, with a host(s) from the cast and an overarching theme or conflict (NOT THAT THERE WAS AN OVERARCHING THEME OR CONFLICT AT ALL EVER IN 2019 FOR SOME UNFATHOMABLE GODFORSAKEN REASON WTF) that changes every week.  Rather, it is hosted by the Musicians of the Shire, and closely resembles Pub Sing, but does have a few non-music out-of-house acts, and sometimes an in-house music group, too.  I do like traditional Finales as we think of them more that this, but this makes sense for the season, and is certainly enjoyable.

Pro tip, after Finale in Pub Song ends, just hang around in the audience are a for a while until the exiting crowd thins.  Otherwise, six feet will be utterly impossible.

If you let me know specifically which day you’re attending (probs via messaging), I can tell you what I’ll be wearing and you can come say hi to me if you want.  I would love that!  You’re the only other Faire youtuber who seems to care about main season plot, and your videos have filled an important and specific niche, and I appreciate them so much, and also ur tumblr is cool.

[smartchicken]

Hi I show up every time you post which is haha, so funny, but I just wanna know if you've figured out that I'm a desperate bitch yet and if not, I'm a desperate bitch and I like your stuff. You're cool (also what're your thoughts on a road trip AU featuring young!Tony with a lot of trauma under his belt alongside honourably discharged Bucky who's forgotten how to live but they meet in the middle and it becomes a little easier to breathe)

-chokes-Oh manFirst off, i really would like to encourage people to just randomly describe themselves in my inbox.SECOND this is the first time I've replied to an ask with the mobile app and i don't understand why it's not automatically double spaced, it's really fucking with me, but I'm about as likely to do something about it as i am to tell my phone to auto-capitalize "i". I just Don't CareTHIRDLYROADTRIPokay first off I've had a very few good roadtrips and only one was "Long" (~18 hours) BUT i have great stories from those and now i am picturing not only a young Tony maybe on the run or just trying not to be home, and poor Bucky who got an honorable discharge but got fucked over because that's the American way, but all the avengers because the best roadtrip is when there's two cars and by about halfway through you're straight up enemiesSo like, car 1: Rhodey, Nat, Pepper, Bucky, and Tony. Car 2: Steve, Clint, Phil, and Sam. Because those are who i currently feel like giving a fuck about. Car 1 starts with a disadvantage because 5 people in one car always sucks but like, ride or die bitchesSo I'm sort of imagining this as BlackPepper combining their friendgroups in a fucking into the fire way like sink or swim love each other or else. Because it's that or awkward lunches for six months and they clearly don't have the time for that. I assume there is plotting going on because we all know it plotting redheads, but they probably lost control of the situation at one point because roadtripLike I'm imagining a college au so get in that mindset. I feel like Pepper immediately put her foot down about Tony, who's the only teenager there even though he acts like an old man. Pepper is just like okay Tony HAS to be with me or Rhodey at all times or I'll fuck everyone up Nat i stg i will kill your friends to death if they look strongly at my precious baby and Nat looks a this stubborn little asshole who is at once fearless and terrified and she's like, fair enoughBut Bucky, right? I know I'm a Tony fangirl but I'm not forgetting about Bucky. Cause Bucky went into the army at 18 and he came back three years later a different person. Steve didn't go with because a) he's a twiggy artist and b) Sarah would have murdered him after she destroyed the entire us military tbh. Bucky's a freshman, the only one in the group even though he's older than most of them. He's been back for like 6 months now and probably shouldn't even be dealing with college life but he's Bucky and lbr he's not gonna cut himself any slack. But by golly his friends love him and will absolutely fight everyone for him, even himself. So while Pepper's like "protect my son" Nat is like okay let's try to make sure Bucky's with Steve because they're kinda codependent but we're letting that happen for now because we have bigger fish to fry, but on the dl because currently Bucky won't admit to any issues under penalty of death.So day of the roadtrip. I dunno where they're going probably tourist shit they're just like get in the car we'll head for such and such and go from there. My only frame of reference here is Florida so I'm picturing them having to drive at least five hours before they have any reason to stop.Oh! Yes so first stop is gonna be a spring or river or some sort of water shitSoGetting ready to go is Hell they have to fit enough shit for nine people into two regular sized trunks. So they've gotta clean literally everything but the spare tire outta those("Fuck it, leave the tire," Clint suggests. He's packed all of a backpack and, incomprehensibly, his bow with three arrows and he's absolutely going to reek in about two days and probably didn't bring any shampoo or a toothbrush. It's probably like, a t-shirt, some boxers, and swim trunks. He'll wear the same shorts for a month he doesn't care. "If we get stuck on the side of tree road, I'll feed you to buzzards for sport," Pepper says pleasantly. She knows him a little better than most of Nat's friends because her and Clint half live together. They get along fine but Pepper progressed to threats much quicker than Clint is comfortable with. He thought about telling her it was hot but decided he liked his balls intact. "Just shove over the duffle," Bucky said. Tony's being quiet but he's got a toolkit packed in case anything goes wrong; there'll be no stuck-on-the-roadside on his watch. )So they get the trunks sorted and there's a couple bags in the backseats but it's good enough. Then Phil shows up (when did he leave???) and stuffs some blankets and pillows into both cars. "My family likes roadtrips," he says. His eyes are dead. Phil is not including himself in his family here. Phil tried to beg off but Pepper couldn't get Happy and Nat couldn't get Scott etc etc for various missing people and Phil agrees to come because, ultimately, these socially-challenged morons need a voice of reason and that's not Pepper or Nat OR Sam, no matter what they think(The truth is they're all reckless idiots and Phil's no exception but combined they can keep each other safe-ish or at least get in trouble together)((Tony didn't want to come either but more because he doesn't want to get underfoot. But Rhodey and Pepper made the mistake of trusting his "I'm fine" and leaving him alone for a few weeks at school exactly once. Pepper had hugged him and said "Pretty please?" and Tony's no good at turning down requests, especially from his few, beloved friends))(((Nat took a different approach with Bucky, who didn't want to come either. "If you don't come Steve won't come and then you'll have to say at Steve and Sam's wedding that it was delayed all because you skipped out on the best roadtrip ever.""It is going to be awful," Bucky said. Nat gave a particularly Russian shrug. Bucky sighed and gave in. He didn't exactly wanna spend a week in the dorms alone anyway.)))And then they really just wanna get going what the fuck guys it's already evening should we just wait til morning no fucking way shut your mouth we're going n o wPepper and Nat manage to be together, and they manage to pay Tony and Bucky special attention, as intended. But uh. Oops?It's Rhodey driving with Pepperi the passenger seat, mostly out of habit; they've done short road trips a lot at this point and it's always Rhodey driving to start, Pepper up front so Tony can nap in the backBut uhTony's in the middle in the back, with a pillow and a tablet in his lap. He's putting on a good show of being Totally Fine, but he's clearly tense. Bucky's smooshed against the door as much ash can, broadcasting discomfort like a cat in the rain. Nat leans against the door too, trying to be considerate, but Pepper starts texting her urgently( TOUCH HIM!!!!!hes so tense wtfNat I love you trust me and touch him a littleAnd Nat shifts over just a bit, so her legs are against Tony's, and for a second he freezes, and then he finally loses some of that tensionTOUCH STARVED?????? Nat texts Pepper, alarmed for this kid.His dad sucks, is Pepper's take, and Nat scowls and gets comfortable, pointedly touching Tony without pushing into his space.)MEANWHILE Phil is the odd man out but he's driving so it kinda works. Clint's in the passenger seat because Clint is a no good dirty cheater, and also has very stern, specific instructions from Nat. Steve and Sam are the most comfortable of the entire group, and within an hour they've got their feet a little tangled, not cuddling but not-not cuddling, and Steve's dosing a little cause he took a motion sickness thing and it always makes him a little sleepy"So Pepper seems terrifying," Clint says to Phil as an opener. They probably should've hung out at least a little before this because Pepper and Nat are the only things he can think of to talk about (and maybe it's not helping that Phil is weirdly hot and serious and he's seen him smile a couple times and he's trying to figure out how to see it up close but it turns out it's not hard cause right away Phil grins and chuckles a little and Clint thinks he's maybe having a heart attack)"So does Natasha. Or is it just Nat?""Sometimes it's Natalia," Clint says automatically, which isn't very helpful. "Uh. What are you studying?" Which is stupid and cliche but Phil manages to turn it into an actual conversation and in the backseat Sam's texting the whole thing to Bucky, who keeps sending back strings of emojis that aren't always sensible but like, Sam totally gets it. And then Sam gets a text of the top of a head of messy dark brown curls and a string of panicking emojis. There's a suspicious blushing emoji in there though and Sam snickers to himself. Steve wakes up with a little "hm?" which is too cute for words so Sam just passes him the phoneTony started off working on his tablet but he hasn't slept in...a while and he's been stressing about this but now he's in Rhodey's familiar car and Pepper's got classic rock going kinda quiet and Nat snuck her toes under his leg and he fights it for a while, but eventually he slumps over, and he doesn't even notice himself sliding towards the warmth that smells like machine oil and leather. Tony looks small and sweet and quiet and Bucky likes to watch him sometimes, when he can, even though he feels like a creep. It's just that Tony seems so alive in a way that Bucky can't really capture. Like he's so tired but so full of life and fire and maybe that's optimism he's not sure but he thinks it might be. Everyone always seems tired on campus, or young and stupid, or just so unrelatable. And it's not that he can relate to Tony so much as he wishes he could. Like watching the moon in the surface of a lake and being afraid of the ripples. Bucky slowly relaxes, lulled into it by Tony's quiet breathing, and Nat gives him a very obvious thumbs up, with a certain look in her eyes, and he catches Rhodey's eye in the rearview mirror, so he slides down a little, slowand quiet, tucks an arm around Tony and lets himself relax, puts down three phone and stares out the windowThey stop at an all-night walmart when Clint suddenly realizes they don't have SUPPLIESWATER SUPPLIES!!!Bucky and Tony go in, with Clint and Phil, to get Supplies, while everyone else stretches their legs or texts demands for snacks.They grab a bunch of stuff, everything that looks even mildly amusing, Tony sleep-fuzzy and relaxed from it, and in line him and Clint attack each other with pool noodles, earning a few glares from other shoppers, but they're laughing too!much to care. There's not really room in the cars for everything but they make it work and they're all wide awake then, everyone chattering for the last two hours before they realize they should've arrived by now and then Rhodey stops (he was the one leading) and there's dogs barking and they're in a trailer park andPhil calls him just to ask, "What the fuck Rhodes."They all get out their phones and they're yelling directions at Rhodey and they're lucky he loves them because seriously they deserve death at this point. They pull up to the park at 5am when they should've been there at, oh, 1 or so no one's sure how they got so turned around but they made it yaaayAnd then "Fuck," Pepper says. "Tents."And that's where I'm leaving this for now cause I'm tired of typing on mobile but tbh i wanna write a college roadtrip now. I'm just imagining a lot of cuddles at this point everyone gets maximum hugs plz. Also i can't tag this??? So thanks mobile