#wrote this right after playing...i might play again. i dont like playing multiple times because i feel bad about the whole Soul thing

[coldheartsbreakboys]

ill start this by saying i understand @its-actually-minicika said the matter with @blackdreamspeaks is over and done but i literally cant let go of some things she said.

((also english is my second language so im sorry if i make mistakes 🤡 i will put this under the cut but i really think people should read this))

here is the problem. she said that she, takes the blame for what happened but she posts this after not even a full day of calling out that she did something wrong

there are no multiple sides to this story girl like none at all. it is literally the fact that you took content from mini/mina without credit and after you apologised you didnt even own it uppp. you said it was a coincidence and that you maybe took inspiration from her from the unconcious which is such a dumb excuse.

yesterday i sent you an ask with screenshots of compared writing from mini that she posted 2 months ago and stuff you posted 2 days ago. and it was clear you took the sentence from her without even an edit. you also used the same insult she used with hw aemond for your aemond. which is again really shitty and so clear because only she uses it.

i didnt compare everything you wrote in your update to hw because it is very long and i think that even those two things are enough to prove this point. it is not fair that you took from mini but then not even apologise in truth. you cant say this was a coincidence. you cant say this isnt done with intent. she is a very nice person and she deserves a real apology where you actually say that, yes you copied from her but that you re very sorry.

i waited for you to at least answer my ask if you were actually sorry and assuming your blame. because i wanted to give you the benefit of doubt and let you prepare your answer. sadly you never replied but i still have the screenshots even after your edit.

>

so this one is yours.

>

and this one is from minis series.

there was also the insult as i said but i didnt take screenshots of it before you edited. but the insult was 'whithered cunt' which mini wrote in the first part of hw and that was a long time ago.

you guys can cancel me if you want and whatever i honestly dont care because i am a small blog and i tbh dont even post. threaten to doxx or send me mean dms I fr dont careee

this is a post that i made for both mini and me because she deserves a real apology and you didnt give her that and also because i am honestly very angry. i think most people also dont know what happened because you never released the screenshots in my ask and you never actually said what you took from mini. because yes!!! you took from mini. there are no sides to this. there is the right side and that is mini. you play the victim too much and that is not okay. you are 21 and you should know better.

i end this by saying i understand you talked to mini and you say she is okay with everything now. she didnt say anything to any of her followers to do. she actually told me and someone else to not bother anymore with this drama. but i am bothered. and you are very frustrating. what you did is not okay at all

so girl bffr and take the blame. it isnt that hard. i might be back to edit this or to add stuff i think is important but these are the most important things that i can think of right now. i will post with the tags for hotd because people need to see this and i don't have many followers.

[captain-aralias]

Aralias's fic year in review, 2022

not going to write anything new in the next 3 days, so here's my 2022 round-up. thanks @dragoneggos for tagging me into yours <3

fics i wrote alone:

Restoration Ecology - Explicit, 51k

Hopelessly Miscast - Explicit, 24k

We all fall down - Mature, 18k, based on art by @technetiumai

Thank Magic (Thank Niamh) - Explicit, Brobelove, 2.5k

Unintended - Teen, 47k, based on art by @asticou

Work It - Explicit, 4k

Simon Snow and the Third Gate - Teen, 5k, Unpublished, with art by @cutestkilla

7 fics of which 6 published, 151.5k words

fics i wrote with others:

We Were Always More - Teen, 9k (5k? mine), with @facewithoutheart

Call Me Maybe - Teen, 12k (<1k mine), with @forabeatofadrum

Shiver - Mature, 8k (<1k mine), with @facewithoutheart

Birthday Man - Explicit, 38k (<1k mine), with the Carry On Discord, join here

Seven Minutes - Mature, 6.5k (3k mine), with @facewithoutheart

about 8k mine - in total, call it 160k words this year.

some questions under the cut

although first, in a break from tradition, i thought i'd play back what i said i was going to write in 2022 at the end of 2021:

finish restoration ecology. 

some sort of smut for dem. 

???

might be time to write my vampire simon fic, not sure. the moment might have passed, and i might push it back and push it back until once again it doesn’t happen. 

i was thinking i’d quite like to write a thing where they get together at watford and it’s not because magic made them do it… and it’s not 50k+ words long, either. there have to be other ways. 

maybe some more experiments, like - i like the idea of them becoming friends after watford not boyfriends. a. few people started writing this and it’s interesting and fun - i dont have an idea for it. 

i do have an idea for the agatha-baz bodyswap. i guess i might write that. nothing the people like more than dubcon het sex, am i right?? (i mean, maybe some people). i’m trying to not think about this story until marta posts hers, and until i’ve written restoration ecology - see above. but yeah, i feel like there’s some quite significant impetus behind this one in my brain… (magic made them do it at watford, eh? it’s my favourite.)

(full 2021 answers)

i failed at vampire simon - that's basically never going to happen. i didn't write a watford get together that wasn't about magic, but i DID write a friends to lovers, the agatha-baz bodyswap, and restoration ecology! so - i consider that a win.

Best/worst title?

best title is 'Restoration Ecology', although i'm also a big fan of 'Shiver' - which i did not come up with. worst title is 'Thank Magic, Thank Niamh' - like RE, it’s a quote from the text, but one works on multiple levels, the other is just.... to do with niamh? i mean, i tried a bit harder than that. it's kind of to do with how agatha prefers niamh to magic, and that's the point of the story.... but yeah. it's poor. sorry brobelove.

also - no offense discord, but 'birthday man' is a bizarre title 😂 it absolutely makes sense in context, but seems weird before you read the fic. (i wrote the summary of this fic, which is why it's super generic like all of mine)

Best/worst summary?

all the summaries i wrote this year are at least all right! the brobelove one is actively good (phew). the best is probably restoration ecology again, although someone told me at some point they were worried about reading it in case baz really had ruined simon's life at some point (that was just simon being dramatic in the summary, it's ok).

'We all fall down' has a classic aralias-friendly summary i.e. [quote sets up normal situation] ; [now something else is happening]. it's elegant and (i think) intriguing, and only doesn't get to be the best summary of the year because it's so reminiscent of every snowbaz hanahaki summary ever...

Baz has been hopelessly in love with Simon Snow for years, he thought it was killing him. Now it really is.

worst - Work It is clearly phoned in (though it does the job). but i'm going to go for a surprise choice of the 'Unintended' summary, which i never really liked. it describes the premise of the fic but not very elegantly. i think i wrote it in the few hours before posting chapter 1, which is usually not a good sign.

Best/worst first line?

excluding the ones i didn't write...

best is probably 'Well. This is Awkward' - from the brobelove, although 'Friendship is magic' (Unintended) is also good fun and plays off later, obvs, in a way i totally planned...

also, a shout out to 'Call Me Maybe':

By the time I get off the plane, I already have three missed calls from Penelope and a voicemail.

i thought that was a good beginning.

worst - 'There’s music playing when I get home.' (Work It)

interestingly, that beginnning is also dull... on purpose. as i was thinking 'i always open fics in media res, lemme do something different. so this sentence has nothing to do with the rest of the fic (except that the music is 'work it', i guess) unlike all my other first lines. and it ends up on the worst first line podium! harsh.

Best/worst last line?

best - “I’m Agatha Wellbelove.” (Hopelessly Miscast)

boom! i dont know if people even noticed the chapter titles, i tend not to notice chapter titles, but this is a call back to that, as well as her feeling so secure in her own body. that's why it gets top spot even though i wrote a few not-crap endings this year. (n.b. for new readers, i tend to dislike my endings/writing endings.)

i really really like the ending of 'We Were Always More' - i wrote this kiss for simon way earlier in the narrative and then thought 'wait, this is classic ending material', and it works super well. even 'Work It', which is kind of doomed to be the fic that isn't as good as most of the others... has a solid ending.

i wrote a crap ending for 'We all fall down' - but fixed it at the last minute!! 'Spring's come early' works.

'restoration ecology'............. would probably end up in last place (what???) because it's a classic lazy aralias ending, but i've just remembered Third Gate fizzles out much much more obviously at the moment, so - that's the worst.

i still have time to make that one work, though.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

interestingly, the answer is - far far fewer fics.... than i thought i had written this year/than i thought i would write. but quite a few more words than i usually write, despite that.

i wrote.... 4 big chunky fics of which 2 were very chunky.

and clearly - see above - the content was approximately what i predicted! although i had no idea it would fall out like this.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

brobelove is the obvious answer here - although the fact that it's queer means that it's not so unlikely - particularly after i ended up spending so much time with agatha in 'hopelessly miscast'.

i didn't expect that fic to end up so much about her, either.

What’s your favourite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

i answered this question recently, the answer is 'restoration ecology' :) but as i say, lots of good stories this year, i thought.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

RE is still more popular than 'Unintended' but maybe not forever.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

hmm.... maybe 'work it' but it's a throwaway wingfic, so i feel like it got the attention it deserved.

Call Me Maybe is probably the answer - it's genuinely BRILLIANT, i was overwhelmed when i saw what had been done with this premise. i wrote the opening, so it's my fault if people are not being sucked in. and i know it's because it's agatha gen fic but i would love more people to read it.

Story that could have been better?

'work it' - but did it need to be much better? i mean, i definitely rushed the end/the sex, because the deadline was approaching...... but there is sex. and there are wings.

the beginning of 'restoration ecology' still bugs me, too. so much exposition - it only gets good when they're having sex. and then there's exposition again, and we have to wait for the sex again.

Sexiest story?

i only really wrote porn this year... and 'unintended'! probably the answer is 'restoration ecology', although if you like strap-ons, and who doesn't, perhaps you would like the brobelove.

Saddest story?

usually i have no answer for this, but ...... actually i think arguably 'restoration ecology' OR 'we all fall down' qualify, even though i can't really sustain angst without wanting to put in some jokes and simon saying 'everything's going to be ok now'.

restoration ecology is about healing, so it has to start fairly bleak and hopeless - and i think baz's breakdown is pretty sad, even though by the time we know about it, everything's basically ok for him.

meanwhile 'we all fall down' is about how baz is dying beautifully and simon can't love him ..... it definitely is the winner of this category, even though as i recall it, they mostly spend time holding hands and talking about how much they like each other. so it's not that sad.

Most fun?

'we were always more'! aka amnesia baz. how could anything else be the winner when i got to write a baz who purrs and wets flannels for simon? facewithoutheart is a writer of extreme range, but one end of that range is being extremely funny, and this set up is all her.

Story with single sweetest moment?

not sure....... my instinct says it's one of these:

1 - restoration ecology, partners. “Is that better, sweetheart?” (btw, i like that i just dropped these endearments in without comment and we have to wait a whole chapter for simon to tell us he's in love with baz)

2 - we all fall down, “It did work,” I agree. “Which means my father and stepmother were bound in holy matrimony by Buzz Lightyear.” although the sex is very reminscent of what i like about the Wales sex in RE

3 - Unintended chapter 5: Baz smiles. Swallows. Presses his forehead against mine. “Then marry me.”

Hardest story to write?

i find it very amusing that last year i was whinging about restoration ecology, but by the time i was doing the ao3 wrapped ask meme this month i'd forgotten it was hard to write at the beginning. it was hard. but then it was easy for the end.

this year's hardest story was.......... Simon Snow and the Third Gate.

it's not it's fault - it had too much plot, no romance arc (although i accidentally made baz the second main character despite saying i wouldnt) and i was in deep pregnancy first trimester tiredness.

'Unintended' also took months longer than i wanted it to. first chapter was quite easy, but later chapters where simon was more in his feels took.... more than the 2 weeks-per-chapter that i wanted them to take. a lot more.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

since i've remembered RE was a ballache at the beginning, gotta be 'Hopelessly Miscast'. i wrote a chapter of that a week, i think, and it's genuinely really good! i enjoyed it a lot.

'birthday man' was also really easy - i was a bit worried about it, but it's so free-ing to know that you don't need to finish what you started, and by the time i wrote anything, i felt confident enough not to have to write that much either. (by which i mean: there was a bit of me that wanted to be like 'is my bit the best??' which would have stressed me out. what i actually wrote is not the best bit, it's a bridge. but it's fine. i enjoyed writing it.)

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

'hopelessly miscast' made me think i could write agatha and really enjoy it. that's almost certainly why i ended up writing the strap-on fic later.

Most overdue story?

'Unintended' - it wasn't really overdue, but i wanted it to be finished months earlier than it was. but i think it was ok. it gave time for asticou to make art, which was lovely.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

yes! there was that bit in the middle of the year where i signed up for too many things. two CORBs and WIP fest - it was probably too much, but i like all the things we made! so i guess i learned - it's fine?

my other major risks were things like saying 'i don't know if i can keep posting every week!!' from this i learned - i can do it. for a while. but not always - i shouldn't beat myself up for 'unintended' not being written in 5 weeks.

the other major risk i thought i took was writing the baz-as-agatha sex. i think if i'd been less established as a writer in this fandom i would have been more worried about how it would go down. as it was, i was still a bit worried, but i also put up the framework of consent early on, and people were so nice about chapter 1 that it turned out fine. i feel other people have done lots more risque things this year than anyone has done so far (this is not really up there) - and it's been good! well done, fandom.

This year’s theme and the story that demonstrates it most:

i can think of two obvious ones.

the first is - collaboration!!! i barely wrote any collab stuff before this year, and yet this post has a huge list of things i either wrote with other people, or wrote based off art. i'm going to choose 'Seven Minutes' as the exemplar (even though it's probably 'Birthday Man') because it's the one that i asked to do, off the back of all the other collaborations going really well.

the other theme i noticed this year is ........ they aren't together but they're still kissing/having sex from almost the beginning of the story. i dont know whether there's a better name for that, but i didn't do it on purpose. i just like a slow burn AND for there to be sex. now i've noticed it, you'd think i would try and stop, but the only fic i know for sure that i will write next year is exactly this.

it's also a collaboration :)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

let's keep it simple.

i want to:

a) fix up the ending of Third Gate b) write the strangers to lovers fic for/with @krisrix

if i do nothing else before the baby in May, but i do those two things, then we'll be ok.

otherwise, twigs_in_my_hair and i will hopefully write something together, watford era, her idea, but it's right up my street.

i think anything else is probably too ambitious! but if there's something you'd like me to write, or you want to work on something together, please do ask - i might say it's not possible or a project is not for me, but at the moment it feels like a good way to get me to possibly write! (and collaborating works well, as it means there's definitely someone to bounce ideas off/i know i have someone to pick up the slack if necessary.)

see y'all in 2023!

[readymades2002]

ch 2 thoughts.....giggle

i think.....maybe this one goes over better for noelle enjoyers but i don’t really care about her </3 so sorry...there’s nothing objectively bad about her she is perfectly fine and nice and cool i just find that kind of panicky Useless Gay crush to be irritating in characters especially wuhluhwuh ones (and its usually wuhluhwuh ones. For Some Reason) and xmas themed shit is SOOOO.....BORING TO ME i think the main story of this game is just never gonna click for me. which is kind of a bummer! it seems like itll be interesting it is just not my thing. also delt of rune having a lot of like...xtian imagery in it is still so weird to me its not OBJECTIVELYYYYYYY bad but it is. um. i’m not interested ^_^

also berdley getting a storyline is the most baffling decision i’ve ever seen in my life. that is a burgerpants character! that is a character that makes you go wow this guy sucks but his expressions are really funny and i don’t have to see him that often so i can stand him. that is NOT a character that gets a hashtag gifted kid storyline fhdskjd what the fuck WAS that!!!!!!! i do think berdley bemoaning how stupid he feels and how he’s let everyone down in a room full of people who have been abandoned by everyone because they’re The Bad Kids is a good representation of that discourse but like. whyyyy did this happennnnn

the queen is the best character in all of fiction obviously. her final boss battle was kind of a pain in the ass and i’m really baffled by her like...whole Internet story i guess. i mean there are interesting things to say about the internet and The Algorithm and using it to try and escape your own misery and i think that that dovetails REALLY nicely with the actual characters!!! between the exploration of escapism and the evolution of the bosses as “sometimes you just need to kick someone’s ass, you can’t always talk it out”, it feels like we’re shaping things into a story about How To Deal With Being In The World That We Are In. maybe not a how-to, necessarily, but i think that that’s a really fascinating story for this one to be! i just think some of the representation of the internet stuff is, perhaps, maybe, a LITTLE bit corny. a little bit oddly done. i think the attack where she says “drama” and makes the whole feed angry is a bit eyerolly. maybe i am just wrong about that, though, i am wrong about things often. i don’t really find meta commentary on the internet or of social media very funny. i don’t laugh at the vague idea of “tumblr drama” either. its just not funny to me

storywise this chapter was kind of a letdown but the world itself is like CANDY to me i am SOOOOO OBSESSED with the aesthetic of the cyber world and the characters in it i love robots i love viruses i love old internet. hypnospace is my favorite game so naturally this is designed exactly to worm its way into my brain and keep me there. also the robots are named after a homestar runner bit. i love it. I Love It

actually jumping back to the best characters in all of fiction. kris and susie but especially kris for the moment. i think kris is a really compelling character and i think that if Certain Game Developers would stop playing off their possession shit as some creepypasta bullshit then we could go further with that! i mean at least this time its not like. the stupid fuckin ending chapter one had (i know it was a fakeout but it also took two? three? years for that to be revealed and i'm pretty cross about it). i think it was almost really good! if it hadn't included the red text part or toriel literally calling the cops which is like. WHY are there cops in deltarune there was no fuckin need for it. but if it hadn't done all that then i think it would've actually been an EXCELLENT portrayal of kris's Whole Deal. kris tearing the player's soul out and throwing themselves out the window to slash toriel's tires before coming back inside and washing their hands and resigning themselves to being posessed again is REALLY compelling!!! kris and the player both having no input during the entire "maybe this world IS better" sequence leaving their own reaction to it a mystery is great, and it makes them opening another fountain SO FUCKING GOOD because they have all the information and decide to go through with it anyway.

and the reasons they could have for it! maybe they agree with everyone else's initial reason for it, the idea that the dark world IS better, you can make friends and meet people that don't just constantly call you a freak and a weirdo. maybe they want the world to end! they're obviously really unhappy right now and being possessed is making it worse, and it seems like the best option for the world to be consumed by darkness. or to even just have another world to defeat. anything but this stupid world where their brother is gone and their mom hates their dad and won't talk about it at all and everyone hates them! maybe it's ralsei looking like asriel, the feeling that if they stay in the dark world, they can hang out with their brother again. they might not be themself most of the time, that boat ride with ralsei and ralsei going "i think it's good that you're so You, kris" while kris has literally no input at all and hasn't almost the entire time they've known each other with the possible exception of the astral projection bits, that was fucking AGONIZING, but they certainly seem to be getting something from their adventures! they seem to like susie! why not ralsei, too!

i think the fountain move was also clearly a measured response. they slashed toriel's tires and recollected themself before getting back to possession. its like...lashing out, very obviously. doing something violent for a bit to get those feelings in order. then opening the fountain after sitting with them. i just find that very interesting. kris is such like...they're so interesting. what a fucking character. i want to know more about them and unfortunately there is literally no way to do that that is good for them because the only way there is to interface with them is through taking their will away. god...

anyway overall feelings are i am kind of disappointed by the story stuff, but the character stuff for characters that i (buzz) enjoy is excellent and the world is, as always, so delightful that i will tolerate just about anything to stay in it for a few hours longer. which is kind of the opposite of what the story is trying to convey i’m pretty sure but! ah well

oh also the music kicks ass but you could’ve guessed that

[hongism]

Do you have any good ateez X reader fanfics Recs? I’m in need of a good long fanfic If not long Then a really really good one lol I just have a hard time finding some lol

BOY HOWDY IM FINALLY HERE okay but fr tho i’m sorry this took me Lightyears to do im so bad at remembering what fics i read and how i tag them so i lost my mind while trying to find them all and i’m sure i missed a lot of favs so i Apologize in advance asiodjfosijdf some are kinda popular so you might have seen them before but some do not get the credit they deserve and i could sit here and sing the praises of these fics and their authors for years but i won’t put y’all through that ._.

You can’t even reach my neck - @kpopscenario - seonghwa

summary: They’re best friends and have feelings for each other but they both don’t know about the others crush, Seonghwa comforts her after another bad date. (Basically friends to lovers college!au)

yes i am a Sucker for a damn f2l college au on occasion and this is one of those Incredible and Well Written occasions i love this fic and the length is perfect and long in the best way 10/10 would recommend and it’s great

such a good girl for me - @starrychannies - mingi

summary: no summary but the warnings should tell you Everything you need to know wink wonk skljdlkdfj

warnings: harddom!mingi, sub!reader, size kink (its mingi duh), choking, sir kink, pet names, mix of praise and degradation, oral (receiving), unprotected sex, slight overstim, slight humiliation (?), a lot of fluffy aftercare.

i find it Uber hard to write smut that is well written in all honesty like i can’t read my own smut bc i can’t Stand It i just think it’s awful but there are so so many authors out there who can write smut and write it well and i admire starrychannies so much for such incredible writing talent with smut yesyes

Alone - @actuallythatwaspromise - san

summary: again n/a but good lord royalty au prince san, princess reader, smack me over the head because i really adore this 2.2k fic and good lord this fic gets me emo and i dont even know why??? the angst is soft and barely there but i’m still over here sobbing for no reason oisdfoaijdiof

detention - @/starrychannies - wooyoung

warnings: badboy!wooyoung, goodgirl!reader, smut, voice kink, corruption kink, fingering, dirty talk, public sex, exhibitionism kink, wooyoung has piercings and reader is a Big Fan, mention of gags, light degradation.

this, this shit right here, this is so good WHEW i dont really have the words but hot damn, i just love this fic and i love love love the way the author wrote the the fic and it’s Hot:tm:

violet roses - @/starrychannies - yunho

warnings: F L U F F, college!au, s2l, first meeting, yunho is a soft babie, yunhos pov!!, love at first sight, pining, bit of slow burn, yunho is Whipped, suggestive teasing, hyunjin is mentioned briefly in the beginning, protective yunho, mingi makes an appearance, mentioned that mingi’s gay, san is mentioned, smut, softdom!yunho, sub!reader, praise, car sex, SIZE KINK!!!!, vaginal penetration, fingering, finger riding, penetrative sex, daddy kink, yunho lowkey has a corruption kink, multiple orgasms.

did i die? yes but only a lot. ahhhh i LOVE me some damn s2l slow burn and pining that shit hits the spot and this fic has it wrapped up in a nice and lovely package pls read pls pls pls read

lover boys - @/starrychannies - seonghwa + hyunjin

warnings: smut, wet dreams, poly relationship, boy x boy, non idol verse, ateez x skz crossover (yay!), harddom!seonghwa, softdom!hyunjin, sub!reader, threesome, reader is Needy, hyunjin is Sleepy, seonghwa is Amused, pwp, light somniphilia, dirty talk, petnames, some degradation, early morning sex, oral (giving), throat fucking, reader has no gag reflex and hyunjin is In Love with it, fingering (receiving), spanking (like twice), unprotected sex, light cum play, cum swallowing, little bit of praise, cuddles!

i really just need a minute whenever i think about this fic bc i highkey die every time i think about it??? two of my ults??? i can’t??? i really can’t handle this honestly like woW osdijfoijdfoi the way i melted we love to see it 🤩

entanglement - @sanduction - wooyoung

summary: when the boy who had explicitly spelled out his implausible hatred towards you on every possible occasion tells you that he’s a dog, who would’ve guessed that you possessed the other half of his soul? not you, at least. life sure had a shit-load of guts to pull a twilight on you like that.

okay so deadass if you know me you know that i really am not the type to read werewolf/hybrid fics. i just typically don’t go for them or read them but this fic. this fic. oh my god. the way it’s so seamless and works so perfectly, i’ll never recover like W O W i love this fic that is all honestly i have mad respect for all writers who do werewolf/hybrid fics bc i can’t write them at all, so sanduction huge major props to you i love your work!!!

who catches the alpha? - @teeztheflag - hongjoong

summary:  „You don’t want to break the rules, am I right?“

aka another phenomenal werewolf fic with alpha hongjoong that made me fall over in a totally great way. the angst the fluff the little suggestive bits it all flowed and fit together perfectly and i am still in love with this fic no matter how much time passes

bite me - @atinyidea - yunho

summary: vampire!au, vampire!yunho, vampire!reader, female!reader established!relationship / warnings! angry s*x?, biting, blood, sir k*nk, consensual s*x, teasing, begging, rough play, overstimulation

this fic is ~spicy~ and whew it is good wow just the idea of yunho and reader being immortal together was like awww then it got spicy and i went to o_o real quick but it is such a good fic and wow i love it i dont even have words bc im Dumb but wow

You Got It Like That? - @kimnamshiks - wooyoung

summary: You just needed to get through this week at the resort at the hands of 20 coworkers and Wooyoung; the Sales Department Supervisor who got some raunchy photos of you the day prior.

honestly wow sodifjoisdjf i love this fic so much i just wow honestly the reader is a whole mood when wooyoung texts about the pictures and i was reading like ‘ahahaa me.’ oisjdfoij god the back and forth between wooyoung and the reader just had me rolling legit i got flustered like pls wooyoung just HAAHHAHA WOOYOUNG IN THIS FIC GETS ME FLUSTERED AS FUCK it is all because tay is a Stellar Writer and makes those emotions come to life in amazing ways and i’ll never ever get over it just whew banter in fics is legit one of my favorite things ever and tay does it with such beautiful ease that i am Enamored but i am also Rambling just pls read this fic oh my god it’s so good

be my neighbor - @jeonginks - seonghwa

summary: seonghwa moved into the apartment next to yours, and he stumbled into a situation he didn’t expect to face.

wow i l o v e this fic it’s just a perfect blend of angst and fluff and it sends me to space every time i read it soidfjoidjf don’t ask why space but it just does i kinda ascend okay? anyway wow this fic is such a gem and it is sO underrated in my opinion. the dialogue is written so beautifully and with an ease that i think is often times hard to capture?? wow just amazing

Cheat Codes - @serendipityunho - seonghwa

summary: “This party’s boring, wanna get out of here?”, may have perhaps led you to make the biggest mistake of your life by sleeping with your best friend’s other best friend, your best friend who happens to be in love with you.

me: wow i never read college aus hahhaa

also me: reads a shit ton of college aus sodifjodijf

honestly this fic is 100% fantastic from start to finish, it’s 5.3k of pure greatness and i just really love this fic altho my heart broke at the end it still fit perfectly and was amazingly written ;-;

that is all i have for today slkdfljdlk however i will be shameless and say that if you would like some Long Bois for ateez i have a few but i’ll link the fics i loved writing the most and am v proud of :3

storge - mingi

liquorice and ivories - hongjoong

[katribou]

Maybe its not supposed to be a racism allegory. It still works for the story and worldbuilding. Just like Beastars, where attempts to compare it to real life won't work since the problems the characters face are really specific to their own society and their own nature, so the story wouldn't make sense if you replaced them with humans. But if the allegory really was the author's intent, then you're right and it was poorly done.

alright. i want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but there is a bit of ignorance to what you say. so i’ll be as thorough as possible about my thoughts.

authorial intent is really powerless when it comes to what a piece of media says or does. if a piece of media harms, but the author did not mean it to harm, does that make the harm any more less? 

content creators and content consumers alike are likely familiar (and if not, should be) with the notion of ‘death of the author.’ from tvtropes’ summary of the concept:

Death of the Author is a concept from mid-20th Century literary criticism; it holds that an author's intentions and biographical facts (the author's politics, religion, etc) should hold no special weight in determining an interpretation of their writing. This is usually understood as meaning that a writer's views about their own work are no more or less valid than the interpretations of any given reader. Intentions are one thing. What was actually accomplished might be something very different. The logic behind the concept is fairly simple: Books are meant to be read, not written, so the ways readers interpret them are as important and "real" as the author's intention. [...]

Bottom line: A) when discussing a fictional work with others, don't expect "Author intended this to be X; therefore, it is X" to be the end of or your entire argument; it's universally expected that interpretations of fiction must at least be backed up with evidence from within the work itself and B) don't try to get out of analyzing a work by treating "ask the author what X means" as the only or even best way to find out what X means — you must search for an answer yourself, young seeker. Writing is the author's job; analyzing the work and drawing conclusions based on it is your job — if the author just gave away the answers every time, where would the fun be in that?

>interpretations of fiction must at least be backed up with evidence from within the work itself. okay, fine. so i argue brand new animal is a racism allegory. let’s look within the show to find evidence of this.

from episode 9: “But Nazuna wants to give a glimmer of hope and dreams to the beastmen who’ve been persecuted and suffered for so long.”

'the beastmen who have been persecuted.’ what exactly does that mean? persecution as defined in mac’s dictionary function (which cites new oxfords english dictionary): hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of race or political or religious beliefs. 

the beastmen are not oppressed because of who they believe in, so not of religious beliefs or political beliefs, with the exception of believing they deserve rights, which plays into... that they are persecuted for race.

i dont really think i need to back up that statement, but for the sake of a sound argument, this is from episode 1.

it’s clear that this human dude has a distaste for michiru here because of what she is, a beastman, which is essentially what she is, her race. hence racial persecution, or, racism.

in your own words, “attempts to compare it to real life won't work since the problems the characters face are really specific to their own society and their own nature, so the story wouldn't make sense if you replaced them with humans.”

is the above exchange really so displaced from real life? this kind of thing really does happen; being targeted and even beat up simply for existing as you are is not something that is so specific to only the world of bna. 

sure you may argue that replacing humans into the whole story would not make sense and well sure, yes. it is indeed a work of fiction so it won’t be a perfect replication of the human experience. but there is enough situations like the above to argue it mirrors racial prejudice in real life.

the evidence is there, so with the philosophy of “death of the author,” it is arguable this piece of media exists as a racial allegory, whether or not trigger wrote it to be that way. if they somehow did not have real race/minority relations in mind when writing this, which i would find very hard to believe, than it has still become bigger than them. because people who face racism will relate to scenarios such as beastmen being the target of hate crimes like the above, and nothing the authors meant to do really changes that feeling.

when such a scenario as above is set up in the very first episode to give you a picture of what this persecuted group experiences, while simultaneously likening itself to what minorities in real life experience, the treatment in following episodes of said group will reflect back as commentary on real life groups whether or not the authors intended that.

in bna’s case it’s rather damaging with implying this minority group is prone to rage and destruction because of their nature or dna:

episode 9: “Beastmen are easily influenced by their emotions. When their frustration builds up, the slightest thing sends them into a fury, causing confusion.”

episode 10: “The stress from multiple species invading your habitat accumulates subconsciously. In that situation if there is a powerful mental shock, the enrage switch in beast [dna] is set off, and their fight instincts take over.”

this is where you may argue in your own words “the story wouldn't make sense if you replaced them with humans.” which, yes that is true, but again this is fiction. the dynamic they establish in that first episode with beastmen being persecuted by humans is one founded in real race relations so the show at large becomes a vehicle to which it addresses race relations.

ep 10: “They’re [the drug vaccine that cures beastmen of being animals] made to subdue beastmen who have turned savage.”

goodness this almost becomes about eugenics! which is another movement founded on racism and other -isms!

the word “savage” generally refers to wild, violent unconfined animals, which, fine, i suppose, after all these ARE animal people in the show. but the show has established this animal people group as a targeted victim minority. historically in real life, the word “savage” has been a label used to describe many persecuted groups, like indigenous peoples or african americans, in a way to dehumanize them by comparing them to animals and force the idea that they are uncivilized while making the people in power feel more justified about their rough treatment of the targeted group.

i suppose arguably they are using the word “savage” to describe animals as the word originally was intended, but after establishing the framework of these animals as being persecuted peoples, do you understand the implications? are they basically saying yes, targeted minorites, are savage? admittedly i will say that that idea is a big jump, but even if you stick to the world of the show, basically this establishes that everyone is at the mercy of their genes turning them bad... not a great message.

i kind of went beyond the scope of what you addressed in your message, but wanted to show an example of how i think it is very important to consider how a piece of media can very easily become bigger than its creators, and that you cannot hide behind authorial intent saying otherwise when media expresses potentially damaging ideas. 

to reiterate the line from tvtropes: Intentions are one thing. What was actually accomplished might be something very different.

[ganondoodle]

demise backstory (summary)

I didnt actually plan on wrtiting a summary of demises backstory (that i came up with, idk if its any good) but im realizing how long it will take me to draw it all, especially with job related things getting in the way all the time, so i guess im gonna post a badly summarised version of it right here right now, some things might change but thats always the case with my writing, nothings set in stone.

(please be aware that im not the best writer and didnt put much effort into this, it got longer than i thought but well meh :V ignore the typos, i wrote this at 1 am ;O; )

I didnt proof read anything, so this is a mess, anyway here goes nothin:

As far as i know, there have been multiple cases of hyrule having some sort of alternate mirror version of itself or just an alternate world somehow somewhere, so my personal idea about this is that demise WAS what hylia is for hyrule, a deity of protection. thats also where the whole inverted triforce symbols come from in my design for him, im not saying its lorule, but its definitely inspired by it to some degree. so they also had a triforce (here simply called "relics"), but it was split into the three pieces, for each of the three main nations/countries one, originally it was split like this as a way of sharing it equally AND to keep it safe, since if someone was to want the whole thing, theyd have to fight three different giant nations for it, which was thought as being pretty impossible.

as i said before, demise (might not have always been his name idk) was their deity of protection, he was there to keep the peace, to prevent the three countries from going after the relics themselves, tho he was always a cocky bastard he wasnt as destructive and hateful as he is now, back then he was still the servant of their gods after all. for a long long time he was successful at keeping everything as it was supposed to be, but of course, it cant go well forever, i dont have all the details yet but basically, those three nations started war after war, he was able to keep it from escalating for quite some time  but at some point, the people found out that if they destroyed his statues (just like hylias in canon) to prevent anyone from praying to him, he wouldnt know, at least, not immediately (my idea was that the statues are a sort of communication link to whatever their god was, so in ancient hyrule, if you prayed to one of hylias statues, and asked for her protection/help, she would know instantly and show up within seconds) 

alot of battles were fought without demise hearing anything about it, until someone found a statue that wasnt fully destroyed. when demise showed up however, the person had already died as they were wounded when fleeing from the battlefield. wondering how this all came to be he went to look for where that person came from, since if there was actual big trouble he should have known about it much sooner.  

he must have missed the biggest battle his world had ever seen, given the sheer size of it .. and the amount of corpses scattered all over it.

this only happened because of the greed of the people in power for the rest of the relics, which promised power, more power than they already had, plus who wouldnt want to know what happen if the relics were combined again, given how they've been seperated since the beginning. 

Fueled by anger and grief over how many people had lost their lives without him even KNOWING that a war of this size was happening, demise tried to ask the gods as to what he was supposed to do, how could he stop these needlessly cruel wars over something so small ? but the gods were silent. 

so he had to decide on his own, what was the best thing to do ? after careful consideration he couldnt think of anything else but to destroy the relics, after all, he could touch or use them himself as means to prevent him, as an already powerful deity, from falling for that greed for power, just like the inhabitants of his world did now.

the first one was the easiest, they didnt know his plan and let him wander their sacred halls with no second thought .. until he raised his sword once he stood in front of that cursed relic that led only to bloodshed and death. of course the news started to spread that their protector had apparently turned against them, some thought it was because they destroyed his statues, others because they thought he feared they would be more powerful than him once they gathered all the relics. on his way to destroy the second one he was met with resistance, but nothing he couldnt get through. the third one was a fight of an army against one deity. demise won, but not without killing some of the people he swore to protect .. and the only reason he was doing this, was for their own good.

after the deed was done, instead of everything getting better, it was getting worse. the people were more united than ever. against him that is. and the world fell apart. the oceans started to shrink, the winds would blow more harshly with each passing day, plants would wither away as if robbed of life before it began. demise was never overly beloved by anyone even back in the beginnings, but he could deal with them hating and resenting him, as long as they wouldnt go to war against each other, he was happy, more or less. what he couldnt handle was watching as his world started to die a slow and agozing death, right before his eyes, without him being able to do anything against it. and the gods stayed silent.

was it because he destroyed the relics ? were the gods mad at him for going against their orders and deemed it appropriate to punish him by having to watch the people suffer ?or was it that the gods that were bored of playing with this world and moved on to the next ?

he would never know the answer. 

the world died slowly over hundreds of years of painful suffering, desperately trying to to stay alive. even then the last remaining survivors knew him only as the destroyer of their world, responsible for their suffering. his former self wiped from memory, and only hate remained. 

after the last mortal died, the last tree withered and the oceans were gone. there was nothing left to guard, nothing left but the ruins of the past and the painful reminder of how this all came to be. the question of why it had to happen, was never answered, as the gods abandoned him and his world a long time ago.

in a fit of rage he sought to destroy the last temples, the once sacred places which inscriptions have long faded away and the place he once called his home, where he used to speak to his gods before they fell into this agonizing silence and as he drove his sword through the sculpted stones which once housed their voices, it split into two . ..

..and through the cracks blew a wind carrying the scent of a world that was still alive.

[more-than-a-gentleman]

Was Pudding’s character supposed to be a variant of Nami?

Disclaimer: At first I read the manga from a normal One Piece persepective. This is just a thought I came to after re-reading the manga multiple times. This does not have to change your way of viewing Pudding.

It has come to a point in the manga where Oda is having difficulty drawing beautiful women in a different style. A lot of people are saying that many women in One Piece are just clones of Nami and Robin. That may be true, I personally do not blame Oda for that but they have the right to say that.

However, what I want to talk about is how it felt to me (after re-reading) that Pudding is somewhat of a variant, a different version, of Nami in a “Narrative” way. And a little bit art wise...

First, let me start from the very beginning:

Ok now hear me out.... to the SaNami ship 373 is the holy number, but I would assume numbers 3 (Nami) and 5 (Sanji) also play an important role as well. Big Mom has 39 daughters, but Oda decided for Pudding to be the 35th.

If you dont think of these numbers as a thing, then this point is invalid for you. Totally fine with that👍🏻.

Next we have:

Even as a SaNami fan, I was really surprised how Sanji totally skipped on complimenting Pudding in her wedding dress. I did not think that was possible. I dont know if the translations are correct for the Nami one, but I believe in other versions, plus the anime, Sanji said “Only Nami would look good in a pure white dress”. As for Pudding, she had to seduce him in order for.... that...to happen (His face is scary af to be honest😂). They are the only two women to wear a wedding dress in front of him, which supports the idea of Pudding being a variant of Nami in a way.

As for the art and design:

I am not going to talk about how similar they look, instead, I want to talk about extensions. If you look at those two panels, it seems as though Pudding is just Nami with add-ons. To elaborate: instead of one pearl earing, Pudding has 4, instead of a bun, Pudding had twin-tails as well. Lipstick, no lipstick.... get what I am saying?

I am not good at editing, but if someone would remove the extended hair, remove the bottom 3 pearls and tone down the lipstick, you might be able to understand what I am saying a bit more.

Also, I already have a feeling not many will agree but that’s ok... we move.

She was also the only women aside from Nami that he reacted like that because of cuteness. Notice how in these two instances Sanji knew that what he was facing was an enemy?

But of course, many will say Sanji sees almost all women as cute. And that is true😅, but:

Both Sanji and Nami agree that “Nami being cute” is a reason.

One Major aspect of Pudding’s character is that she is 100% and straightforward tsundere. But again, I am not going to talk about how Nami can be a tsundere as well, but I want to highlight a certain character choice:

In this translation, they wrote “My dear” but in the Japanese version she clearly says “-san❤️”. Do you see where I am going with this? Oda decided to have Pudding be hostile and offensive in all her dialouge except for “- san” for the most part.

Maybe he is emphasizing the point that these honorifics are more important than people think. Pudding lets out all her love in “-san”, and “-san” “-kun” honorifics are a big part of Sanji-Nami dynamic.

People say that Nami uses “-kun” as just a way to return respect for Sanji calling her “-san” (give and return), and I will not argue with that. That is most likely true. But now, no one can say with complete certainty that it can not mean anything else...

After all...

Oda showed us that he is fully aware on that topic. And one more thing.... Sanji did not stop calling Nami with “-san”, so her removing it herself has nothing to do with give and return.

So people might question... why I am against Sanji being with Pudding if she is another version of Nami? Isn’t that good enough or the same?

No. Simply because she is not Nami...

Pudding has yet to see the world. She did not know herself yet:

A lot of people seemed to have overlooked this moment but to Sanji, Pudding is nothing but a lost soul. If he accepted her it would just be him taking advantage of her innocent side.

To him, he was just glad that he was able to help her realize that herself.

[illfoandillfie]

ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie

okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this. 

So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia). 

now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love) 

So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances. 

It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism. 

For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening.  I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.

Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.

There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation? 

This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao. 

Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.

Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers. 

[fluid-quartz]

its almost 2 am, i make poor life choices, and i just wrote a small ficlet based on @welsfight ‘s post about how ex eats and the weird theories that stemmed from it. i thought about putting the biggest part of it under the cut cause its like ~1800 words but i dont feel like it whoops

so without further ado, i present to you:

THE HERMITS AND THE MYSTERY OF HOW EVIL X EATS

It was a nice evening out, as they all sat around the campfire. Tango was sitting almost inside of it, roasting marshmallows for everyone that wanted them, and the others were just chatting with each other, about some of their projects and plans or simply about things that had happened.

Cub was looking pensively the whole time, as though he was trying to figure something out.

“Hey guys? Strange question, maybe, but… Do you ever wonder how Evil X eats, what with that helmet that never goes off?” The conversation around him dulled, multiple Hermits just staring at him for a moment.

“That… is a very good question,” said Zedaph as he jumped to his feet. He sensed there was a great game show in this, probably. “Ladiiiieeeeees and gentlemeeeeeen! Welcome to the first episode of How Do They Eat?! This time, we’re discussing Evil Xisuma!” A few of them chuckled, shifting in their places a little to be able to properly see Zedaph, who had just completely taken on his game show host persona, including putting a little desk of brightly coloured concrete in front of him.

There was only murmur for a moment, and then Bdubs stood up, dramatically clearing his throat.

“Well, I think he eats nutrient pills that he pops through a coin slot. So he can still have a balanced diet, you know?” As he spoke, Keralis’ eyes grew even larger than they already were.

“Slot machine? Did you say… Slot machine, Bubbles???” he said, not-so-sneakily looking around to see if Evil X was around somewhere. Iskall just laughed, and Bdubs looked at Keralis with judgment in his eyes.

“No, no, you can’t play slot machines on Evil X, he puts a cork in the coin slot when he isn’t using it.”

Keralis wanted to go against it, but Zedaph was quicker and louder.

“That’s an interesting theory you got there! But… Are there others? Surely you must have wondered before how he eats. Come, don’t be afraid to speak up!”

Doc immediately raised his hand, then stood up to speak.

“Guys. It’s obviously a teleportation ray. He just points at food, and it reappears in his mouth or stomach, depending on how lazy he’s feeling. It’s the simplest scientific explanation.”

“That’s a load of bullshit, Doc. It implies that he needs to eat, and we all know he’s secretly a robot. He just hasn’t shown it yet, right, guys?” Biffa interjected before anyone else could speak. There was some muttering about it, until Zedaph once more took over.

“Biffa, I appreciate the input, I really do – yes, yours too, Doc, don’t worry – but for the sake of the game, let’s assume he eats.”

“But what if he doesn’t? What if… What if he’s immortal! Immortals don’t eat, right?” Keralis butted in enthusiastically.

“Well, then we wouldn’t be playing this game, right? So! Theories! I personally think he can just remove a panel of his helmet, and then sucks it in like a vacuum cleaner. Or like Kirby, that might be closer to reality. They are both red, after all.”

“Kirby’s pink, Zed.”

“I don’t care, Tango, I haven’t heard you name a better theory.”

All eyes in the circle were suddenly aimed at Tango, who almost dropped a batch of marshmallows into the fire.

“Uh…. I uh… Maybe his helmet is just fused to his face? So like, it opens up when his mouth opens?” He sounded a tad unsure of himself, having to think up a theory on the spot. Still better than kirbying, though. Stress immediately started bouncing up and down on the ground, her hand raised high into the sky.

“Oh, oh! What if the glass part of his helmet just opens, so he can drop the food in?”

“Or the top. It could also be the top of his helmet that opens, like a fishbowl,” interjected TFC’s gruff voice. He sounded amused, though. Very much so.

“Wouldn’t that just create a very big mess? For all we know the bottom half can just open up separately from the rest, so he can just eat more or less normally,” Wels shrugged, looking over at Zedaph once more.

“Those are all very valid theories. A bit boring, though, and plain! There’s more points to be got with creative theories!” He was smiling widely, looking around at the others. Then he pointed at Iskall. “You! Iskall! What is your super mega awesome theory of doom?”

The swede looked bewildered, and thought for a moment. Then they could almost literally see a redstone lamp going on above his head.

“An airlock! Like in spacecrafts! That’s why the bit in front of his mouth sticks out a little, it’s so that food can first get surrounded by the Right Kind of air before it gets to him!” He was beaming, thinking his theory was the most clever one out there. Until Mumbo spoke up.

“Uhm… Iskall? How would he get the food from that airlock into his mouth?”

“I don’t know, maybe he just like… tilts his head backwards and hopes for the best?” Around him, various Hermits were laughing. The mental image of spooky, scary Evil X desperately trying to make a cookie fall into his mouth and failing horribly just did that to someone.

“Oh! If we continue in that vein a little… You know how items sometimes just kind of clip through walls? What if that’s how he gets food inside of his helmet? By having it just clip through? Sometimes it would just get stuck, though, out of his reach,” Impulse mused, smiling widely.

“Gosh, that would be soooo difficult to clean, though!” Stress sighed.

“Then he can just clip through some cleaning supplies as well, don’t worry about it.” Impulse chuckled, then stuck out his tongue at the face Stress made.

From the other side of the campfire, Jevin’s voice suddenly popped up.

“You know, I bet he eats enderpearls like eggs.”

The murmuring that had been present completely died down as he looked around, completely serious. Zedaph opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“That.. That wasn’t even the question, Jevin! Do you have any theories about how he eats instead?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I do. I think he just… He either boils them, and eats them with the crunchy scale, or maybe he just sticks a straw in to slurp up the insides. Evil X seems like someone that would do that.”

“ABOUT HOW HE EATS IN GENERAL, JEVIN, NOT ABOUT HOW HE EATS ENDERPEARLS!” Zedaph sighed, then shook his head and facepalmed. “Anyone else. Literally anyone. Please.”

Python mumbled something in response, too quiet for even the people around him to hear properly.

“Could you repeat that a bit louder, please?” Zedaph asked, and Python looked him straight in the eyes.

“… maybe he vores?”

“No. Nope. Cursed theory right there, ladies and gents. Python, please go sit with Jevin to think about your sins, and maybe you won’t go in the dunk tank.” He pointed over to were the grinning slime man was sitting, and Python stood up with a shrug, faking disappointment and fear for the dunk tank. Then Mumbo raised his hand.

“Okay, so, what if his helmet functions the same as Darth Vader’s mask? What if there’s just some kind of mechanical cheese grater that he can just put food through, so it can go through his helmet and into his mouth without too much trouble?” A bit of muttering sounded here and there, once again with sounds from Stress about how horrible that would be to get clean.

“What if… What if he just like… Photosynthesizes, man… like a flower, getting nutrients from the sunlight and from putting his feet in the dirt… how nice would that be, man...” Ren said, his drawl slow and relaxed.

“Ren, I think you had too many of those mushrooms, your Renbob is showing. Though, I think it’s quite obvious. He just uses a feeding tube to get his food in, or perhaps a straw and blendered food. It could simply go through a small hole in the helmet.” Scar then popped a few unroasted marshmallows into his mouth before continuing. “That way, there’s no mess at all.”

The theory earned him some nods, and then Cleo stood up. Slowly, to get the attention of everyone around.

“While all of you have great ideas, I think it’s obvious how it works. Evil X just eats like Sandy the Squirrel, from Spongebob.”

“And how would that be, Cleo?” Impulse asked.

“Well, he just… puts food into his mouth through the bottom of his helmet, where it connects to his armor. Of course, that means he has to open up his armor a little bit, but that’s done easily enough. I bet he has a zipper too.” She smiled widely, with a look in her eyes that said that she knew full well that there was no way that her theory was correct. It made Joe sigh dramatically.

“What is wrong with all of y’all?! He would just take off his helmet and eat like a normal person!” False raised her hand.

“I gotta stop you there, Joe. We both know that he can’t breathe Overworld air unaided, like X can’t either. So, let me propose the following: He takes a whiff of his inhaler so he got air for a little bit, then he takes off the helmet and he just starts shoveling in as much food as he can before putting his helmet back on. And then he repeats that until he’s done eating.”

“I can live with that,” Joe said, and then he looked over at Zedaph. “That seems like a good and valid theory, right?”

“It certainly does, Joe! But… Since we’re nearing the end of the episode, why don’t we ask X for some clarity? If anyone knows, it would be him. Let’s see how close we got, everyone!” He then proceeded to pull Xisuma to his feed, and pushed him to be behind the host desk. It made the admin chuckle, but he took on the role that was apparently expected of him.

“It’s quite simple, actually,” Xisuma started, “Just like me, he can use a breathing tube so he can just take off-”

He then got interrupted by Grian yelling “STOMACH MOUTH! STOMACH MOUTH!” repeatedly at the top of his lungs, because he couldn’t quite believe how easy and boring the solution was. Xisuma looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, and then he just shook his head as the Hermits around started laughing. He loved those idiots.

[nomorevanillabeanicecream]

no more vanilla bean ice cream

they were out of vanilla bean ice cream, they had vanilla, french vanilla, sweet cream vanilla and cheesecake vanilla, but not vanilla bean, when did everyone all of a sudden get into vanilla bean, everyone was a pig they could not care less about the bean in the vanilla or not, but now apparently everyone was into vanilla bean ice cream because last week there was a full row of umpqua vanilla bean ice cream and now there was none

so I’m waiting in line at safeway with my subpar vanilla ice cream after I had gone on a much needed quarantine run right after spending two hours texting my friend and she was telling me about how google owns all the data in the world and not only has enough data to know me better than myself, but since they know everyone else’s data too, they know my friends data so they know me in context, the whole thing was very depressing so depressing i didnt even want to use a period in my writing anymore because what the fuck was the point of punctuation anyway in this world, i would still be nice and use commas, just to give my fingers a break and be able to get a thought in or so. 

i guess i could also accommodate for paragraphs break at visually appropriate times, it didn't matter if it was contextually appropriate or not, i was going to drop a paragraph break because i know people like paragraphs, charles dickens and dostoevsky and jane austen and leo tolstoy never made paragraph breaks that's why no one ever read their books, people just say they read them to seem smart but they never really read them they just knew it was the right thing to say that they were literary geniuses because their books were so long, see people like to lie and say they know the work of a great author even though they only read a few  quotes by them, but that was enough to say good and bad things about writers without ever knowing what the hell they did, few understand the theory of relativity but everyone calls einstein a genius. 

the thing about quarantine was that at this point i had gotten used to seeing very few people in my life and i was enjoying it so whenever i had to go to the supermarket i had to see all these people and boy were they gross, maybe i would not have seen them as so gross if had gotten my vanilla bean ice cream but i had not so, they were gross, they were all getting so fat, and fat in like weird ways, not like fat on the sides like the michelin tire guy or a cute belly like the pillsbury dough boy or like that kinda funny superfat like homer simpson or peter griffin they were just gross fat, like it looked like they had just been eating garbage and watching netflix fat, like this one guy seemed like if you got a pillowcase filled it up with hot lard and then poked two pool cues on the bottom of it, this other lady looked like a minifridge emptied into a potato sack.

the asses were the worst part, it was kinda hot so everyone was wearing shorts and it was not appropriate when they wear shorts always have that like red line right under the shorts and it does not look that great, the oddest one was the skinny ass but with fat legs, i did not get that one, the person would have no ass mass at all but then the legs were super fat i did not understand what they were doing to get their bodies to look this way, a lot of people were also walking around with wedgies, a lot of people were also walking around in pajamas covered in animal hair and it was gross, its like you have nowhere to go, you are all complaining about not having the right to go out, so when you do go out why not maybe spruce things up, honour life, honour your fellow human, no, screw that we are all going to behave like the whole entire public sphere is a big ass pijama party,

the whole facemask thing, wait before, i start talking about the facemask thing, everytime i start a new paragraph, google is trying to force me into capitalizing the first letter, it doesn't even ask me if i want to capitalize it, it just goes ahead and does it, google is such an presumptuous douche sometimes, now when i write in gmail, it autocompletes all my sentences, great so we can all sound like robots, and it does it like automatically, so i ending having to erase the lame sentence it wrote, i mean i would have probably come up with something similar or exactly the same too, after all there are only  so many ways to say goodbye, but id like to think it was my idea, these engineers had no savoir faire, just so you know, so now i hope that everytime you start to read a new paragraph you imagine me hitting the backspace button to delete their fascist capital letters, and its frustrating because im really trying to write as fast as i can, i bet you can tell

see it happened again, and its not that i just have to hit the delete, i have to get my mouse and put my cursor there so it like detects its not just on mistake i am trying to delete their smartass capital letter, so yeah to the facemask thing, the whole facemask thing was pretty dumb, i mean if the facemask was the windshield to the coronavirus i didnt get how casual people were being about, they would just pull it right down under their noise, oh great now you have all your coronavirus on your nostrils, what the hell, i didnt get it, im pretty sure noone in that safeway store had coronavirus, and it was coronavirus not covid19, what is it about us having to find dandy little names for things, it was the coronavirus and thats that, so yeah we were all carrying about these facemasks that if they were really protecting us from the coronavirus lingering in the air then we were being flagrantly irresponsible in our use, but deep down we all felt it wasnt, but we just had to wear one because it was the rule, but we all knew noone in the store had coronavirus

it may sound weird, but i think you know when someone has coronavirus, its like you can just tell, you know like other things you can just tell about a person, i remember i once went up to san francisco about a month ago, and i saw this guy on the muni line headed to the bayview that for sure had coronavirus, he wasnt coughing or anything, but i saw him and i knew he definitely had coronavirus, it wasnt because he was black or chinese or  anything, this isnt like a hidden racist joke, i could just tell, i freaked out , and i havent gone up to the city since then, and then, lo and behold they announced that a muni driver got the corona and that the bayview district had the most corona cases in the cities, see sometimes you can just tell

im pretty sure that day i even had the corona on me, i mean i didnt get it, but im pretty sure it landed on my hand, but i washed it before i touched any of my mucous parts, but it was there with me, i dont think it was from the guy on the bus thought, i think it landed from this other guy, i went to a deli to buy water, bananas, coca cola and chocolate and this guy was kinda drunk and talking real loud and coming real close and i could feel the air get really moist when he passed by me and my hand was exposed and i know that at that moment some of it got on my hand, but i didnt panic, i knew i couldnt lose my cool, i had to just play it smooth, and wait till i could get to the studio and wash my hand and everything else, i was really thorough i walked the whole way back to the studio with my hand outstretched so it wouldnt touch my jacket or anything, i could feel it was there, it was for sure there, but i played it cool and washed it and nothing happen, but i was that close 

 and thats why you have to wash your hands because you could be that close too to having coronavirus, so see im not that crazy, that the reason they recommend us all to wash our hands, because at some point it could be that close to you, and if you don't wash your hand before your touch your eye, boom you got coronavirus, crazy to think that you too could have had coronavirus on you, and you could have, but now i think there isnt that much coronavirus on things anywhere, i think the coronavirus is like hiding or something, i think the coronavirus are like finding their niches and stuff, like if you ask me i think the coronavirus right now is probably somewhere where the sun dont shine, i bet it like flew to a a dirty dive bar that was totally shut down windows boarded and everything, but its there just chilling on the sticky counter, waiting to come back in the summer, i also think it might be at like some nasty to-go food place, like there is this wing place open till midnite around my house, i bet there is a little coronavirus there, but only a little bit, and its like one of the lazy ones, so i dont think it feels like jumping on anyone

at work i have to tell the staff how to wash their hands, i tell them they have to wash on top of their hand, palm of their hand, each finger, in between fingers, under the finger nails, and up to the elbow, but i mean if they have coronavirus, and their touching my food, i think its going to get on the to go box anyway, but its the rules so i play along, i even translated the rules, and told them to sign a paper, the paper also said that they had to wear a facemask, its not like they have multiple facemasks, i mean we are going to give them a few, but its up to them to wash it, one guy asked me if he could use the same one for a few days, i told him no, but i mean even if he washes his facemask before work and then lets say he puts it in his pocket, what if his jacket has corona but his facemask doesnt, itd be a real shame if his corona jacket infected his noncorona facemask, but i saw him and i dont think he had corona anyway

im repeating the same point and the rant is losing steam, so i gotta ramp it back up, or maybe no, maybe its not all just about ranting, maybe i should tell you some good things, like ill tell you about my run, the day was so nice, it was bright and sunny, and thats really all i gotta say, the point that i have more to say about right now is that i feel like im writing like that kid from catcher in the rye, that kid was a real case, i cant say i disliked the kid, but i wouldnt hang out with him, i mean in general i wouldnt be hanging out with high schoolers, but i might hang out with him after he grows up, i think we were all like that kid at some point, and the ones that arent, are soul dead and just go to work and drink craft beer and probably become those engineers without savoir faire that figure out the code to finish my email sentences

but i also feel that i am writing likes james joyce in ulysses, those are two books that i read from cover to cover ulysses and catcher in the rye, all it takes is a good fucked up guy to write something honest and you can get me to finish it, james joyce was all about stream of consciousness, crazy to think that ulysses is regularly named the best book of the century, and it wasnt even that bad of a century for books, it was a crazy book, and it was daring and new to just expose how he felt a person thought, and i mean it was pretty smart, because that is how we think, we jump around and we get nervous and self conscious and horny and we think in simple letters, and our memories associate things weirdly, i mean dante was the best writer of all the time, but i dont know anyone that thinks inside their brain in metered stanzas, if there was such a person, i dont know if id like to meet him, it would be a lot to handle good novels have taught me a lot, they've confused me too, but overall taught me things, see life is a grey thing, like there arent absolute values, 

for us human beings, its easy to think of things as black and white, good and bad, yes or no, but thats not how it goes, there is a lot of grey area, and thats why i guess i liked ulysses, see the whole book is about this guy that is roaming around dublin, while he knows his wife is cheating on him, the last chapter is a stream of consciousness from his wifes mind, in which she just goes through her mind thinking about her past lovers and this guy she is cheating on her husband with, and ultimately she feels bad and when her husband climbs back into bed with her, shes like thinking oh there he is again, old leopold, but hes my leopold and she i guess kinda does admit to loving him, life hurts like that sometimes, a woman can still love you but cheat on you, a man can do it too, anyone can cheat on you, but still love you, anyone can hurt you and still love you, its a rough reality, remember i wrote an essay on this book, and the teacher said that i should save it and give it to the woman i marry it was so good, i didnt save it so i guess that wont ever happen, i cant even remember what i said, probably something about forgiveness and the abstract beauty of love, i was only twenty, i could have said anything

i wish i could remember what i wrote though, nowadays a lot of people are walking around with fear of intimacy issues, they are scared to open up to people, you know a lot of people are saying that they have intimacy issues, so i wanted to figure out more,  i looked it up on wikipedia and it said there were four types of people, normal people that love themselves and can share intimacy with others, people that think themselves unworthy of intimacy but seek it, people that are scared of being intimate with others out of fear of rejection, and people that have self worth but think others are undeserving of intimacy, i think the whole thing probably comes from parental stuff, that's always the freudian way of looking at things, its kind of a shame because i think people really do like laying in bed and talking comfortably with someone after a wild fuck, when i wrote the essay i didnt have intimacy issues, but i might now, i dont know, and even if  i did i dont know what type of of person i am,  i guess sometimes people do say some stupid things, and stupid things out of  a naked person are the worst kind of stupid things, whatever its wikipedia, anyone could have written, just like the original science study it supposedly based on,

ok this all getting too gooey and it lost its sharp vibe, i think that we were on a roll, when we were on the coronavirus landing places part, but then i get too serious and stuff, i do still want to talk about books i like, you know like thats one of the favorite things english teachers like to do, they like to analyze all the references that an authour made to other books, normally its the bible or the odyssey or some other greek or roman classic, like ulysses was modeled after the odyssey, i remember the teacher always talked about that, ive never read the odyssey or the iliad, ive heard they are great books, but i try not to say it myself, i do say that homer was a great poet though, but i never read his stuff, i mean ive read the first line, but i dont know the whole story or anything, i guess we are all hypocrites at some point or another, i do know however that ulysses was in one of dantes circles of hell, because he was advisor to deceit, the deceit of having that big horse full of soldiers go into to troy, so he ended up in hell, talking about hell that was another book they loved to reference, the bible, the bible doesnt see things grey, they see it black or white, this morning i woke up at four in the morning, and i couldnt get back to bed, so i pulled to a random spot and started reading proverbs, they make it seem so simple, this is good, that is is bad, i wish it were that simple, it used to be that simple like that when i was little kid, maybe it still is but,  i just refuse to see it that way

[patchdotexe]

really, really long rambling

i forgot how i got onto this tangent but on the car ride home i ended up thinking about Speed The Collapse, or. actually that’s just the first fic in it, i dont think the setting has an overall name. uhhh. WELL it’s the yogscast fic/RP setting i started years ago and evolved into atomiclalna/getfluxd/wellcatchyou. and it evolved into being pretty weird and im thinking about it again so here’s an explanation of all the characters while i think abt writing more STC

(some of this is specifically rp-verse that later got welded into fic canon, to make things extra confusing. especially with Atomic and Digger. fantastic)

Lalna “Lal/Atomic” Coffee is the “main” Lalna. he’s an AU of Flux Buddies that got... really convoluted bc of him originally having a bunch of different rp verses and then i accidentally slammed them together and had to try and reconcile em. he’s an omnidisciplinary scientist but mainly likes rockets, nukes, and blowing things up. and reckless use of thaumcraft, obvs.

he got de-Fluxed in one rpverse with the help of Circuit (a friend’s OC), and then when the verse-fusion happened it got kind of weird because Nano (who also got de-Fluxed in the same rp) stayed Fluxed but Atomic didn’t, so he’s just... kinda weird. but with the like, non-rp verse, i think it ended up being that he just burned all the surface-level Flux off but Nano had progressed so much that it probably would’ve killed xem to do the same, and then once the whole like.. dark realm stuff happened, his Flux resurfaced like how Nano’s got worse. I DUNNO i kinda started writing him before i was even caught up on flux buddies prime while 2.0 was over halfway through so :,)

either way he ended up with intense scarring on his face & hands, on top of miscellaneous scars he had from various near-death experiences, and it kind of became his “identifying feature” both in-universe and out. he’s also a cyborg just to keep himself alive because he’s Very aware that he doesn’t have respawn (unlike pretty much everybody else) and with how reckless he is with his own safety + his expertise with machines it felt like a logical conclusion to him. he’s also very casual about his own injuries bc he can just patch it back up later, no big deal. it grosses Nano out.

Lal’s very scatterbrained, bad at talking to people, and horrendous at taking care of himself. he’s also super disaster gay and was dating both Circuit and Nilesy in the rp verse (as well as like, whatever’s going on between him and Nano in both fic and rp). he sees Xephos and Honeydew as basically his adopted parents, although his relationship with them has faded due to lack of contact; he’s usually very casual about people going in and out of his life, but it started to wear on him and he gets pretty lonely.

he’s very distrustful of other Lalnas because of everything with Hector and MP!Lalna, although he doesn’t go on the attack immediately unless he feels threatened. his memories of YOGLabs (i think the “YOG” was supposed to stand for something but i never actually sorted out what it was) are of working on the respawn system before getting suddenly fired; in actuality, he’s the master clone that got kicked out after Hector proved to Xephos that the Lalnas were too dangerous to keep around. the side-effect of this is he has a weird bug where he ends up with memories of various other Lalnas, and sometimes has trouble keeping track of which Lalna he is without someone being there to ground him. this really doesn’t help with Nano’s mistrust of him

his timeline goes: Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Duncan’s Lab -> Blackrock -> The Apprentice -> Flux Buddies series

Lalnable “Hec” Hector is... complicated. he’s the original Lalna, who according to Xephos went insane and had to be locked up in YOGLabs; several of his breakout attempts failed, only for him to finally bail out successfully and go on the run. his main goal is to bring down YOGLabs, believing that Xephos has put all his morals in the trash in search of power & immortality, with a side hobby of trying to figure out what the hell is up with the Specimens, seriously it shouldn’t be this hard to clone somebody even if they’re full of eldritch goop wtf

all of the Lalnas are trans btw. Hec has voice dysphoria, both bc he has a case of the genders and also bc he hates the idea of being mistaken for another Lalna (although he’s tried to play that in his favour a couple of times. it usually backfires. sup, Tungsten); he feels like the Lalnas are unstable inferior knockoffs, and really doesn’t like seeing reflections of himself walking around. usually this means he goes out of his way to avoid them, but he started directly clashing with Atomic after they ended up in close proximity to each other and he took an interest in Nano.

he’s like... he plays up his edgy side to try and seem intimidating, but he’s honestly pretty pathetic. not that he can’t be dangerous, but he’s just kind of a paranoid guy with a whole lot of brain problems. has a lot in common with Atomic but does Not want to admit it. Hec is also very desensitized to blood and death bc of his work at YOGLabs (Atomic kinda is too but it’s not as prominent), but if he’s actually eaten anybody it’s probably it was probably out of curiosity. WAIT THAT SOUNDS REALLY WEIRD. i do think the like, cannibalism thing is something he got a reputation for without really comitting to it, but the nickname stuck and he’s like “sure, that’s edgy and scares people, i guess” and started going by Hector and then Five makes fun of him

he kinda suffers from badass decay but in an entertaining way bc its more like Lal & Nano learn more about him and are like, okay he’s pretty threatening, but he’s also a Lalna and they’re all idiots

his timeline is: Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Flux Buddies series

Livid Coffee is where shit starts getting REALLY weird and complicated. his deal was established in a rp arc on Atomic’s blog, where like... it was getting close to the end of Flux Buddies 2.0 in-universe, and Hector was testing out the Time Gate with the idea of like, going back in time to YOGLabs, before everything went wrong, and beating the shit out of Xephos. Lal saw something was up, went to go check it out, and got captured; Nano got suspicious once he didn’t return, and Hector has zero foresight or critical thinking skills and kinda panicked. he was only able to get the incomplete Time Gate open for a few minutes at a time while testing it, so he kinda... just. grabbed a Lalna. and sent him on his way back to the base and hoping Nano wouldn’t question it too much or that xe’d think he just had amnesia or something.

unforseen problem: the Lalna that Hector had managed to time-theft was Livid, his past self from when he still worked at YOGLabs.

im gonna be real i still have NO IDEA how this arc goes down in fic, if it does at all, but it does establish a whole lot of important things while also getting REALLY convoluted. i made a lot of decisions in dp that i definitely wouldnt today :,) BUT the gist of it is that Nano easily puts 2+2 together and rushes to rescue Lal only to get captured, and meanwhile Livid learns about everything. about Lalnable, about the failed clones, about getting fired, about how everything ended up the way it is in Lal’s time period. and he freaks out, but realizes he has a chance: he can try to stop all of this. he can go back to his original time period, and tell Xephos to shut the project down, and stop Lalnable from ever existing.

so some pretty cool stuff happens: he stages a rescue mission, rushes back through time while the baddies are distracted by the buddies, and sabotages the Time Gate in YOGLabs Deep Storage so Lalnable isn’t able to get there (which leads to baddies&buddies being scattered through time once they go through). he then runs to talk to Xephos, warn him about everything, because surely he can fix all of this, right?

Xephos listens, but then decides he doesn’t care about the risk and orders Livid to go through with it anyway. when Livid refuses, he’s locked up and his brain is fucked with to try and wipe his memories of the event. he finishes CloneSec on Xephos’s orders, only for everything to click back into place and the betrayal+paranoia causes him to lash out and try to kill Xephos, which gets him rebranded as Lalnable Hector. so it’s a time loop, basically.

as a side note, there’s a backup Livid of sorts-- in case of failure break glass, basically. somewhat literally, bc the clone is hidden in the YOGLabs reflecting pool in a glass box, far away from where anyone would stumble across him. he’s the closest clone to the original (meaning he doesn’t have any physical deviation like the other Lalnas eventually develop over course of experimentation & the master clone template), and has all of Livid’s memories up until the time travel nonsense. he never got to make an appearance outside of the original Livid in Distant Past, but interestingly one of the first times Atomic experienced clone memories in rpverse was something that happened to this guy.

his timeline is: Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Distant Past (fic) -> Hypercubed

while most of the Lalnas were fired or disposed of, with the exception of Hypercubed bc he’s in a frickin box, there was one that Xephos held onto. im gonna be real, im not totally sure how Moonquest fits into everything; honestly im kinda tempted to say it might be a case of a spare Xephos, even, considering he’s not like.. maximum bastard like Yoglabs Xephos is. either way, a single Lalna got picked up by Honeydew & Xephos and they decided to go to space together because why the hell not?

he doesn’t really have a unique nickname yet, because i haven’t done too much with him-- the most Moonquest stuff i wrote was actually an AU, with like. multiple system alien Lalnae, and he never crosses paths with that clusterfuck up there so Atomic only knows about him via clone memories & a very weird encounter with a clone-of-a-clone. who knows what he’s up to nowdays, considering Deep Space Mine never got anywhere.

his timeline is: Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Jaffa Factory -> Moonquest -> Hole Diggers -> Deep Space Mine

AND NOW WHO YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND: DIGGER

Digger is... he’s something. while all of the other Lalnas listed here (minus original!Livid) are respawn clones, Digger is instead a “shell” clone-- basically just an empty, expendable shell someone can temporarily dump their consciousness into if they want to do something dangerous/stupid or just need to quickly hop somewhere. so, like, basically not a Lalna in the same sense as how the other Lalnas are basically like.. twins but a large number of. he’s also a reject, due to Honeydew screwing around while the shell was being constructed and accidentally mixing in some of his own DNA. because shells have DNA for some reason? they’re weird, they’re like... i think Digs got described as being made of “fake meat particles” once. doesn’t even have a pulse. or like, blood, or viscera, because any damage done to him cracks the shell.

ANYWAY so Digger was initially just a defective shell but the Hole Diggers didn’t get rid of him bc they thought he was funny in concept and also were too lazy to do anything, so he just got parked somewhere in the space station to be forgotten about. then there was a glitch with the sync chambers while Lalna was swapping to a shell, and suddenly Digger was like. aware. he basically got a copy of Lalna’s consciousness downloaded into himself. cue distress and dissociation once he immediately realized he was Stuck in an incorrect shell. THEN Honeydew accidentally blew the space station up to fuck, and Digger-- along with everyone else-- got sucked into a black hole.

ive been kinda vague about where exactly in time&space he ended up, but he basically took over some ruins he found and dug out a huge complex underground base and raids a nearby village for supplies while he was getting his feet. this is how he found a thaumonomicon, and he got himself deep into thaumcraft out of curiosity. he got himself heavily warped, and normally it would be pretty concerning but he’s rather calm about it

ive kinda gone back and forth on how he sees himself, so: he definitely starts out thinking he’s Lalna Prime but in a shell, but then learns about Other Lalnas and his memories are confusing&incomplete so he starts questioning himself and has a big ol crisis. he picks up the nickname “Digger” and ends up developing in his own direction somewhat, becoming his own person despite being a shell. having to accept the fact that he’s permanently a shell has been... difficult, and he tries very hard to ignore it because he feels like he’s super fragile if he thinks about it for too long. by the time he showed up in rp stuff, though (like showyourenergy and the corruption saga) he started owning it as like “yeah!! this is me, i guess!! if you look down on me for it ill shoot you with a very big gun!!”

his opinion on other Lalnas is that he’s TERRIFIED of them. like, pretty much convinced he’s going to get hunted down and killed if the original Moonquest Lalna finds out about him (once he learns that he even exists). that, combined with his warp, means he has paranoia to rival Hec’s; it only gets worse in rpverse when he’s managed to make a Lot of enemies. he does have a very close friend, though, potentially the only person he trusts completely: Drei, aka Specimen Echo 3-B, one of the failed Specimens that Hec created. there’s like this whole thing where Nano & the two surviving Specimens are like, a trio representing various forms of thaumic corruption? Nano is Flux, Five is Taint, and Drei is Warp! so Drei met Digger when he got himself warped to all hell, and they’re basically siblings.

i also rp’d him for like 3 days on here during the jsab corruption saga bc for some reason i doodled a leo!lalna instead of using RR

his timeline goes: [Voltz -> Yoglabs -> Jaffa Factory -> Moonquest] -> Hole Diggers -> ?

[flockofdoves]

4, 9, 25!

omg.. these are all questions when looking through it i was like. i have a lot of Thoughts abt those ones fdkgjhdfkg. thank you angel!!! also please don’t feel obligated to read All This

i’m kinda embarrassed i wrote this much but i’m not good at editing things down after the fact

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

i do! chiara is my birthname and at times through my life i’ve wished for a more androgynous/masculine name but i guess like. my name and its pronunciation and spelling and what it meant to my mom in naming me has been consistent throughout my life i don’t feel like myself without that. if i grew up in italy i’d probably feel differently though bc at least in the north its become like . italian “maddie” lol i get so confused when i go there bc all of a sudden i’ll be hearing my name everywhere

chiaroscura i came up with as a melodramatic kid after i got excited about reading the tale of despereaux that the rat character chiaroscuro had a name so similar to mine and i thought it was cool he shortened it to roscuro. i liked the art style too and it helped people know how to pronounce my name sometimes. no one irl really called me roscura but i’ve been going by it online in addition to chiara since i was a tween

i’ve tried to go by other names throughout my life like cj and arie (pronounced in 3 syllables ah-ree-ay) and rio but none of them really stuck outside of very specific contexts even if i wanted something more androgynous i think i’m just ingrained with this. i’ve thought about having it be chiaroscuro instead but chiaro for short just seems dumb. idk. and even if roscuro sounds fine roscura isnt just Me me its also a name i really associate with like uhhhh.. some dissociative alter stuff so i wouldnt want to take that away from her idk

i was sure when i was younger i’d want to change my middle and last name. my middle name is anne lol so thats very common and i thought it was boring and didnt feel like Me and too feminine etc but in the past couple years with my nana (dads mom) dying and her name was ann and then also my grandma (moms mom) is annette and my moms own middle name is anne i guess even if i dont like it without context i can keep it for history

similarly with my last name. its anglicized swedish and i have no connection to that part of my family and when i was having a really difficult time with my dad i didn’t want it but now that hes died and our relationship got better towards the end i’m more okay with it.

not sure what i’ll do if i ever get married. also have considered changing my name if i ever have trouble with how fucking stupid i’ve been with being openly a communist/disabled/gay/etc online with my full name since i was 11 lol but i doubt that

9. are you an artist?

lol. i’m not sure anymore tbh :( i at least drew stuff almost every day of my life up until like a bit over a year ago now and even if i didn’t think i was any “good” compared to my peers in like . high school AP art who went on to art school and stuff it was a big part of my identity but i let myself fall out of it even when i’d never let depression do that before and just didn’t get that momentum again. i stress about it almost every day since then i keep saying i’m Finally getting back into it but beyond like . art therapy when i was in a php program or the couple sculpture classes i took before i had to drop out of even part time classes and then a few sketches i still haven’t really provably picked things up again. and its not just digital art or cartooning its also my other creative passions like making clothing and cosplay and making stories i feel like a shell of a person without it i’m tired of saying i’ll Soon get back into it. got as far as sketching something for an actual traditional art thing last week so maybe if i finish that i can prove to myself again. i think i have trouble and why i stopped is i wasn’t doing art because i enjoyed the process anymore, i wanted the final product to be good and got discouraged and fell into a grating routine to make art. i need to learn how to enjoy that process again (or just? let myself? idk) i really need to learn that with making comics because i don’t have much proof at all that i can make things beyond like. 6 pages long. and of course with webcomics you’re constantly learning and growing in developing them thats part of the medium. i want to be able to call myself an artist again even if its hard to see that right now. i almost started drawing before i started answering this right now. i hate that i keep pushing it off. i’ve definitely said this before, but it has to be soon

25. could you live as a hermit?

i think this past 9 months has been the closest i’ve ever been to a hermit and its made me very confident that i absolutely could not lmao. i’m so sick of this i need to see proof of life beyond this place and with irl interaction with loved ones beyond my mom on a regular basis stagnating here for even a few months longer is just too much i don’t even feel like a real person anymore and thats concerning on multiple levels lol. its wild to me i even got to this point and kind of ironic that i feel the most isolated i’ve ever felt once i moved to one of the biggest cities in this country. right now i’m sustaining myself by chasing hope of a way out with the start of maybe actual concrete steps towards just . seeing people i love again irl. but honestly even that is freaking me out because realistically it might take longer to get out of this than i’d like to and i really can’t handle being in this situation more than a few months more.

also just in a general sense i think humans need to collaborate and provide for each other. individualist fantasies of just providing for oneself and not having to care for others both jsut . tend to not actually be accurate and can be pretty reactionary. so many people are so isolated in many ways under capitalism and that makes divide and conquer easier but to ensure a future where that won’t be the case we need to build community/dual power/solidarity/etc etc. i feel a bit guilty i’m not putting my actions where my mouth is with that as an individual right now but i guess it makes sense how i got here when so much is structurally at play. its weird intellectualizing that balance sometimes.

i’m so sorry this turned into some fucking . vent tumblr therapy session jesus christ fdgkjhd

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

Babysitting

Title: Babysitting

Characters: Castiel, Sam’s son Thomas (OMC), Dean’s daughter Delilah (OFC), Dean and Sam and their spouses (mentioned)

Word Count: 1185

Summary: Castiel is left to babysit the Winchester offsprings, while they are out.

Warnings: FLUFF!!

A/N: This literally found its way into my head and I thought it was adorable so I wrote it to share with all of you. I hope you find it amusing and it brings a smile to your day! Enjoy! And remember, I love you guys!! xx

These two. They were the splitting image of their fathers. Sam’s son with thick hazelnut hair and those overemotional eyes that get’s him what ever he wanted, and Dean’s daughter, eyes greener than evergreen and freckles scattered all over her nose and cheeks, the only thing she got from her mother was her long dark hair and naturally tanned skin.

“Ugh, where are your parents?! They should be home by now,” Cass groaned, having to stay behind and watch the kids. They were a handful, taking more than their looks from their parents.

“I bet’cha their having the sex!” Delilah shouted obnoxiously, her voice piercing through the bunker. “Making fetus babies! Did you know they look like little beans?!”

“Hey! Lilah, you’re not allowed to say that word! Your mommy said so!” Thomas shouted.

“It was an accident!” The 5-year old girl hollered.

“I’m gonna tell!” Thomas, who was a year older, threatened.

“Alright you two, I am sick and tired of your bickering. I’ve told you multiple times to cut it out,” Cass scolded pointing to the library. Both children knew what that meant. Time out. “And how do you even know what intercourse and fetuses are?” Castiel questioned not thinking about the answer he would receive.

“Thomas told me. He read it in a big people book!”

“Mama scolded me, said that I wasn’t supposed to read that. But I thought a stork brought the babies? That they drop of a bean and Mommy eats it and the baby grows in her stomach, not with a tadpole looking thing. And why do Mommies have eggs? My mom said that we didn’t hatch like chickens. There was a lot of pictures! How do you think they make babies?” Thomas asked Cass, Delilah staring up at him expectantly.

“Uh, it’s complicated. Now go and sit and I’ll be back to check on you two,” Cass replied, astounded by the knowledge they had. Homeschooling is quite effective.

Delilah and Thomas was sitting in the Library, doing their time, when Thomas let out a soft fart. Delilah flinched at the sound and flicked her eyes at her cousin, giggle when she met his guilty face. Thomas began to giggle as well letting out more spurts of gas. Delilah eventually lost it and started to laugh uncontrollably, her voice ringing through the underground home.

Cass returned, his face stern with authority. The two kids, instantly stopped laughing, not wanting to get in trouble with their uncle Cass. “There is no conversing or any noise disturbances when you’re on time out. Do I need to bring out the big people books?”

“Ew, no! They don’t have any pictures,” Thomas pouted.

“Uncle Cass, we’re sorry. Tommo tooted. We won’t ever talk again.” Cass eyed mini Dean suspiciously. She was so much like her father that he knew better. He knew that she was merely trying to wiggle herself out of the situation with false pretense.

“No.”

“But uncle Cass!” She began to whine, wiggling in her seat.

“I said, no. You can’t break the rules without consequence. I’m going to bring out the big people books.”

“You’re a big meanie!”

Cass froze up in his journey towards the bookshelves, a little hurt and a little annoyed. This was what he was told to do when it came to disciplining them. He never intended to be mean and he sure didn’t want the kids to feel that he didn’t like them or have them believe that he was a mean uncle, because he wasn’t.

“Uncle Cass?” Thomas started, “Lilah didn’t mean that. You’re not mean.” Cass relaxed a bit at Thomas’s words. Just like his mother and father, he was a little more empathetic. “Lilah, you hurt uncle Cass’s feelings,” he chided.

Delilah pouted knowing that she’s done a bad thing. She loved her uncle Cass very much. She loved him so much that only Uncle Cass could tuck her in at night and keep all the bad things away. Uncle Cass was her angel, a protector, a big squishy teddy bear in human form.

“I’m sorry uncle Cass,” her voice was soft with guilt. She never wanted to hurt his feelings.

“Hey,” Cass turned around, looking at both young humans sitting at the table quietly. “It’s alright. I did come off sounding a little frustrated, but you understand that I need to be the grownup.” Both children nodded in understanding. “Why don’t we go make a snack?”

“OH! Let’s make pie!” Delilah cheered. It was almost like a switch had flipped and she went from sad to happy.

“Uncle Cass, do you even know how to make pie?” Thomas questioned, his expression obviously believing that Cass didn’t know how.

Cass cleared his throat before reluctantly admitting that he didn’t have the skills of Delilah’s mother. “No, but we can figure out something easy we could make.”

“I know! Let’s make grilled cheese. Mama says it’s the easiest thing to make!” Thomas roared, pumping his fists on either side of his body.

“Ooh! I want three cheeses on mine!” Delilah cooed, wrapping her tiny hands around Cass’s enormous one, tugging at him with excitement.

“Me too!” Thomas agreed. The two little Winchesters went zooming into the kitchen leaving the frazzled angel behind. They said that grilled cheese was easy to make, but was it really? Could Cass really make grilled cheese? Well, he was going to find out.

After 3 failed attempts, and two laughing hyenas standing beside him, picking at the melted cheese of the burnt grilled cheeses, Cass was beyond frustrated. He figured that maybe he could use his grace to make them. It wouldn’t take much, and the grace should wear off from the kids by the time their parents came home, right? What they didn’t know won’t hurt.

Castiel’s mind took a tangent, remembering the first time he had made a snack for the kids, using his grace to heat them up. Ignorant to what could happen, the kids had consumed some of the grace giving them a few tricks to play with. Thomas was shocking people, and Delilah could see glowing lights that surrounded people.

Cass’s eyes flashed blue for an instant before he was figured out. “Uncle Cass, Daddy said you can’t use your grace!” Delilah shouted, causing Cass to flinch with surprise.

“You’re right. I was testing you and you passed,” Cass fibbed.

“Yay! That means I win!” She sassed, staring at Thomas.

“This wasn’t a game, Lilah!” He exclaimed.

“You’re just mad you lost, Tommo!”

“Alright, alright you two. Let’s try this again.”

“Don’t worry, you almost got it,” Thomas assured, patting his little hand on Castiel’s back.

“Thanks,” he replied, his face heating up at the fact that he needed the reassurance of a 6-year old.

This time he was successful and the two munchkins were happily eating their food, swinging their legs to and fro under the table. Cass couldn’t help but smile watching them interact. They might have been cousins, but what he saw was Sam and Dean as kids, aside from Delilah being a female. The similarities were uncanny.

Tell me what you thought!

Forever Tags: @amanda-teaches @waywardbaby @dont-you-dare-say-misha @babypieandwhiskey @my-thoughts-on-display3 @atc74 @alwayskeepfightingkaz-2y5 @herbologystudent252 @mogaruke @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @whimsicalrobots @grace-for-sale (not letting me tag you) @dragonchica @carryonmywaywardcaptain @waywardlodging @esoltis280 @winchesterslibrary @winchestergirl607 @waywardnerd67 @emoryhemsworth @caitthejourno @heyitscam99

Castiel/Misha Tags: @so-get--this

TFW/2.0 @alex-zeppelin @trolling-the-interwebs

[twenty-nothing]

OneHundredSixtyOne

On Saturdays, I like to… hang out with a friend and go to lunch

Where would you like to be a missionary to? No where

What’s better — toilet paper rolled over top or underneath? Over the top

Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) No idea, I didn’t really watch Scooby-Doo

If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? A blizzard. I already live in an area that gets A LOT of snow during the winter. Natural disasters scare me because you can lose your house and everything you own. So at least a blizzard sucks and might lose electricity but you will keep your home and everything in it.

What movie or TV show do you take guilty pleasure in watching? Any of “The Real Housewives”

If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be? Green

What traditional stereotype would you classify yourself as? Prep

What “group” did you belong to in high school? Cheerleader

If you wrote a book about yourself…what would it be about? My life

If your house were burning down, what would you take and why? My dog, phone, laptop and my favorite sweaters and blankets

Describe your favorite pair of PJ’s. Soft sweatpants with lightweight baggy tshirt

How many handbags do you own? A few crossovers

If this were your last day alive, what would you say to your friends? I’d tell them I love them and was so glad I met them

What is your very favorite part of your day? Leaving work lol

What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it. LMAO I have a scar in the middle of my left forearm because I got a pen cap stuck in my cast when I was 13 years old. Old enough to know not to stick a pen, cap side down in your cast to itch it lol

You win a million dollars, but you have to give half to a charity. Which charity do you pick, and what do you do with the rest of the money? I would have to do a ton of research before I choose the right charity to make sure the money doesn’t go to the CEO’s like they usually do. The rets would pay off my student loans, my parents house and put the rest in savings

Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. I’d get the most sparkly dress I can find, Somewhere overlooking a waterfall in the fall, amazing plated dinner and fresh flowers ending with a fireworks show

What kind of deodorant do you use? Dove

If you were a spy what would your alias be? No idea

Do you have a birthmark? Where? Does it look like anything? Yes, just a brown large dot in the middle of my thigh

You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to your guest list to keep the dinner talk interesting? Gordon Ramsay, Sandra Bullock, Harrison Ford

What is your favorite sport, and which team of that sport do you cheer for? Hockey. Syracuse Crunch, local team. Need to find a good NHL team to root for

Which would you rather have a kiss or a hug? Why? From someone I’m dating, a kiss. Everyone else a hug, but I rather not hug lol

If you could be a pair of jeans what style would you be?  Why? Ripped skinny jeans. The best ones lol

You have multiple personalities, describe some of them. A bitch

What is the best thing you have done in your life? I can’t think of anything...

If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Fall foilage

What household chore do you hate the most? Dishes

What is your most disappointing moment in life? Seeing how long it would take me to pay off my loans after only going to a community college, made me wish I never went

When have you laughed the hardest? Cried? I’ve been laughing the hardest with Elaine at work, I cry the hardest when I think about any part of my life...

If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be? I dont know, I’m awful trying to think of shit like that

What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Smile

What time period from the past would you most have liked to live in and why? the ‘50s. Just seems like an easier time. No technology really and just seems like a nicer time.

What is the best reward anyone can give you? Gifts

If you had a band what would you name it? No idea

Do you like fruit? Vegetables? Both!

What can someone do to encourage you? Show me encouragement by showing up for me

If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why? lmao who the fuck knows

What was the best thing that happened to you this weekend? The steak I had at Longhorn was PERFECT and amazing!

What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Koala. Grey, Cute, Small

What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Mint. Cool, Relaxing, Pretty

It’s a very hot and muggy day. You desperately want something very cool and refreshing to quench your thirst and revitalize your body. What would you drink — either make your own or store-bought. Ice cold lemon water

You discover that the person you’re head-over-heels interested in loves a good homemade & handmade dessert. What will you concoct when you have this person over? Chocolate chip brownies

What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most?

Everything

What do you consider to the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? I don’t own anything really valuable

What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? Just people giving back and being selfless

If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? Forensic Accountant

What are your best/worst subjects in school and what subjects would you want to learn now? Best was science and worst was math, I’d love to learn all about history from start to now!

What are you most talented at? Nothing lol

What is your worst nightmare today? Lose my job

How often do you clean between your toes? Every time I shower

What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught? Incognito internet lol

If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Mean Girls

If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? The ones that fly and flip in the air

If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? If it didn’t affect my health, brush my teeth lol

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it? Dreamer

If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? Really research what you want to major in, look up the jobs in the market that relate to that major, what do you really need? An associates or bachelors?

You’ve just been hired to a promotions position at Kellog Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? Coupons for free cereal

Just like “Everybody Wang Chung tonight!”, what action would your name be if it were a verb? What the fuck???

Name your favorite song. Right now it is Santa Baby because its like 4 days til Christmas lol

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think!  The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger.  I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it.  I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe.  I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork.  I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena  or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

[larrydiary]

I’m a Larry shipper, right? Why am i disappointed at the fandom, after coming back to it... +What even is Larry? + How can we save the ship

I was going through tumblr and came across some posts by anti’s 

First of all I want to clarify that I DONT hate Eleanor, I actually used to stan her a bit. I had these blogs about her and made a page saying We ship happiness or something with Elounor as avatar. I follow her on all my social media. Even if people say she’s untalented. She graduated Uni plus has a good sense of fashion so eh let’s forget that “beard” stuff. Let me live!

So why do we ship Larry. You have multiple types:

The O.G’s: They have been here since the first 2 years, anywhere between x factor days and 2012. They saw how close H+L were and started shipping them, probably from videos like this:

Be it platonically or romantically, they just thought they were cute together and loved seeing them interact and mess around. Right now they have either moved on from it all or are still here, using past moments as ‘proof’ or just still love their relationship, be it platonically or romantically. A lot use old blog posts and videos as a way to convince the newer generation that Larry was and is something, they promote their friendship mainly . Again, not all of them make up theories and see every moment as proof. 

It is also quite obvious that since a lot of em are a bit older, that they ship Larry without being too annoying. That doesn’t count for everyone however...

New Gen. 2013-2015: These shippers either found out about 1D a bit later or just found out about Larry. They have watched countless proof videos and are convinced that H+L are together. By doing so much research they’ve learned a lot about Larry. They probably use the dug up moments and posts from the OG’s as a way to convince others that Larry is real or at least tell them about the ship.

1) So you have the shippers who DEFINITELY ship it and are 99.9% convinced it’s real and even when they start to doubt it they watch a lot of videos to re-convince themselves it’s real. They are often found analysing everything H+L do. 

1.5) Some even go so far as to hate on the GF’s, and sometimes they don’t even realise they are doing it. Traits: Call the GF’s names, try ‘their best’ to not disclose who they are talking about but do a terrible job at it (E.G “E is such a bitch, I don’t like her, neither do I like Br, ew!”), hate on the GF’s without reason (E.G. They see a picture of said GF and rant about how terrible they are, without good motives.), automatically dislike any woman who get’s associated with H or L, especially when the media reports they are rumoured to be dating. Even if it’s just an interviewer, a family member/friend, or a celebrity that H/L admire/look up to/respect/befriended. Ahem.

Apparently that is what people call, ‘a Larrie’.

2) You also have the shippers who mainly love their friendship. They’re okay with whatever as long as the two are happy and have a healthy friendship. They want them to interact more but don’t want to force the shipping thing. They don’t really research and dig a lot. They just admire and support from a distance.

They’re usually new to it, and chose not to fall into the rabbit-hole of Larry, maybe a friend introduced them to it, or just have other OTP’s and don’t really want to pay too much attention to Larry.

3) You have the people who are right in between. They would LOVE it if the two were together but aren’t mad at the fact they might just simply be friends. They like the concept of them dating, they might love Larry videos, make or love fanart, read or write fanfics. That in my opinion is the true definition of shipping, just loving the concept and idea of two people being together, having the opinion that they fit together. Nothing else! They want to think it’s real, but don’t force it. They always rethink what is proof and what is not. Always try to find a logical answer and are not afraid to deny said ‘proof’ but also on the other hand, try their best to convince others that there was something going on between them and possibly still is. E.G. they tell people stories about the past, show them footage, but do not want to force the people to believe it’s real. They don’t try to indoctrinate them. They just want to share the ship...

Aka the said friend of version 2.

It’s probably quite obvious i am that one^ 

So let’s see. People started shipping it cause they were always so close. And the others knew, they saw. They lowkey shipped it. The looks they gave the two, the “You two are so cute!” ~Niall, when Harry said his valentine was Louis. the ‘You two are together, aren’t you?” by Liam, the “When was the last time you kissed a girl?” ~int “When was the last time you liked it?” ~ Liam. Niall’s looks and smirks at the two. The boys teased them about it a lot and it was all fun!

There were even people who asked them if they were dating, and when Louis was going to propose to Harry. And did they mind? No! Because even if half of the people who shipped them were kind of convinced they were going out, the two still played along, made jokes about it and fed the shippers. They loved to see the shippers reaction, they chose to queer 1D, despite the rumours and jealous guys trying to hate on 1D, calling them stupid names.

Just a side note. watch this

Korean boybands can do this... why can’t Larry? And you know that Kpop management companies are a lot like Modest... Even worse sometimes, you know that South Korea isn’t nearly as open to the LGBT as the west. YET THEY GET AWAY WITH IT!!!

People wrote fanfics, made fanart, made compilation videos(Larry moments), it was okay!

But then stuff started changing. Even when Louis said he had a GF, the two were seen acting in a way that made it seem he did not have a GF at all, similar to how they were right when Louis’ relationship with Hannah ended. Sometimes even worse. People loved it! JOKING that GF was hired! But there were people who took it TOO FAR! They hated on the girl, sent her hate, tried to sabotage their relationship. Louis didn’t like it. 

Now to back paddle a bit. Yes it was quite obvious Harry did like Louis to an extent. And Louis didn’t mind. He was there for the boy. Cared for him like his little brother, as a best friend. People thought Louis was gay cause he was quite flamboyant, well what do you get after growing up with so many sisters? Plus, have you seen him when he was a teen? I used to follow him on Bebo. He had girlfriends, and they were real. Now, not saying they’re 100% straight either, chill down, people. 

I guess through the years, Louis actually started to like Harry too. Maybe? No? Okay! but there was definitely some man love going on, as H+L friend would say. More fuel for the shippers.

To that point it was okay. But to resume what I started to say about the GF. People turned into pricks! Even IF the GF was hired, which i don’t want to comment on, sending hate to her went too far. We don’t need that kind of negativity in our fandom. It broke us apart! It made us all less close... 

Fast forward a bit and we are in the “She’s my girlfriend, People genuinely think me and Harry are together!” era! The two started getting less close. Presumably because they caught on. Louis found out about the hate, obviously. He thought that minimising the touchiness with Harry would make things less complicated. But it made it worse cause people found out. By now you have two sides. The side which realised what they were doing and is even more convinced that GF is fake, cause ahaha why would he do that to his poor Hazza if Modest! didn’t tell him to? And the side who started to believe in Louis+GF more. By now you know I’m talking about Eleanor but yeah.

So you can either believe Modest was there from the start and hired Eleanor, (who had a friend who worked at Modest) Because Modest didn’t like the idea of two guys being in a relationship going public, having her be the muse, the lover, the topic of the songs, or that Modest started interfering when they found out about the rumours getting worse.

The latter can mean that Larry was nothing more than a Bromance (or a one sided love cause Harry liked Louis, it was mutual but they stayed friends for the benefit of... being friends. You almost can’t deny that and if you do then i guess it was just a theory) and when the rumours went overboard, Modest took action and told them to stop being so touchy feely.

Harry for example, only get’s rumoured to be dating someone,he get’s papped hanging around a girl and the second it gets out, new articles start to sprout out of nowhere, and whenever things do get “confirmed” they never end well or last as long as Elounor did.They are mostly high profile people. He’s been getting labeled as a womaniser since pretty much the start of their career. That somewhat correlated with Larry since the womaniser image got people to not believe in the HxL rumours too seriously.  

I made a rant about that in 2012 but it was super messy so i’m not going to go into that.

Either way, them being less close made people even more suspicious and to this day, even after them awkwardly denying rumours, even after Zayn saying it is not real. People believe they are together. Why? cause proof videos. I believe that if you are a true anti, you should at least dare to watch the 30 most iconic Larry moments, and if after all that you still stand by your opinion, then respect to you. 

There were far too many suspicious moments. Even if half of what they were trying to do was  a joke. You can not deny that they really loved each other. And something ruined it. 

The thing about their management company glaring at them or giving signs of approval whenever they do something wrong, or the thing about them giving signals not to answer a question is not made up. There is actual footage of them looking behind the camera and the interviewer saying they have to either stop an interview or saying they are not allowed to ask that. 

So why would the management company do such a thing when it is so obvious that the fans really like shipping the two boys?

The reason is because, even if the fans have no problem with it, others do. Outsiders do. A lot of celebrities don’t get permitted to come out. They have to act a certain way and get introduced to girls they have to date for a month or two, sometimes even years. With every generation you have a group of people who completely despise the concept of gay relationships. 

Now there are some groups and artists who’ve come out and are doing perfectly fine. But if you have as big as an audience as One Direction, things become more problematic. It is not only the fact that hundreds of girls who feel they have a chance with the boys or are raised not to approve of anything that has to do with the LGBTQ+ (so they grew up with homophobic parents) pretty much get a slap to the face. It’s that they will get so much attention that all the homophobic people in the world, potentially people who can influence a big group of people, will possibly start to hate on them, all these kids who are unfortunate enough to have closed minded parents will not be allowed to listen to the boys anymore. Their entire image will have a massive switch.

Now that they are solo, they have far more time to focus on themselves. Time to reshape and tweak their public image, time and space to show the world who they really are. They are breaking free from the bubble gum pop bubble. They are free to do whatever they want

When they first got put together, people started to say stuff like “One Direction is gay” Using ‘gay’ as an insult just to seem cool cause people thought that liking One Direction was shameful. Especially because of the often obnoxious fans. People simply did not want to be associated with them. But One Direction grew!

I don’t see them coming out any time soon. At this point i am not even sure if they are still together. Especially with the recent events regarding Louis.

I want to say that when Louis and Eleanor first started dating, it was quite awkward, but their relationship started looking realer as time passed by.  This time, it just does not at all. Not judging her, i love her. It’s just strange. She got back with someone who “cheated” on her and has a kid with someone else, you’d expect her to ask her boyfriend to do a paternity test. But that is their thing. They can do whatever they want.

Also regarding recent events. Harry seems to be so much more free. He’s swinging and waving around LGBT flags and is being more flamboyant than ever. 

Flashback to a couple of years ago when the boy said he liked girls, didn’t like nail polish or make up, and talked about girls. The boys kept mentioning he’s changed. They of all people would understand what exactly changed. 

Now about Louis.

That is just weird. Moving on.

I believe that we should all just chill and stop the negativity, I didn’t want to believe the misogyny until someone pointed it out to me, don’t get me wrong, i did see it before, but when I came back to this fandom I didn’t think it would be so much worse. 

Theories get annoying unless there is proof, in my opinion you can do whatever you like with them, as long as you are aware that your theory might be false/debunkable! 

You can ship it as much as you want but DON’T send hate to the GF’s, like, if you ship Larry, why waste time on them in the first place?

Maybe if we all stop commenting Larry on everything we see, maybe then they will come back as close as they were before. Cause it was quite prominent that Harry was saddened by it. They have good and bad memories from the ship. 

Just please guys, Larry is fun and i love it, but what I don’t like is all these “shippers” who point at Larry and management, everytime something happens between the two.

But I also don’t like people who attack the shippers, without listening to them first, stand in each others shoes, try to understand each other and why the other person thinks a certain way, step out of your own shoes for once ahaha. We’ll get to understand each other more that way. WE ALL HAVE TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND!!!

Louis said this:

“My main hope for the future is that we all remain best friends throughout everything. I would hate it if anything ‘affected?’ our friendships.”

Sadly something did happen, we have two years to fix things. Maybe i’m just crazy cause i miss the good old days. But let’s at least consider it.

Can we make a plan? Start shipping Larry the way we did in 2011. Just secretly. Let’s not go overboard and theorise everything. Even if it is just for a couple of months. Let’s focus on the friendship! Make them believe we have moved on and know it’s just friendship. I really want to focus on that the next couple of years. 

I call it the Larry Reset! Hopefully now there won’t be an article to come out which says “Larry shippers have moved on and have accepted that Larry was a Bromance. Want it back the way it was.” Actually tbh let that happen!