#wrote this really quick because I couldn’t stop thinking about it ok

[nsharks]

against the wall | simon “ghost” riley

words: 1.7k

plot: simon finds himself (uncharacteristically) wanting to put a baby in you when he comes home

tags: breeding kink, lots of cum? lol, pregnancy talk, smut, fem!reader

______

Simon told you he doesn’t want kids.

But fuck, if he isn’t obsessed with burying his cum deep inside you and watching it seep out onto your thighs.

He started with condoms in the beginning, but you’d notice how frustrated he seemed, how he’d quietly groan in your ear that he wished he could fill you up. Mark your cunt as his.

Without him asking, you took the initiative to get on the pill. Surprised him with it one day when he was reaching for a condom and you grabbed his arm.

“I… I’m taking the pill now.”

He had stared at you intensely, a flicker of something primal in his eyes. “…What?”

“While you were gone, I went to the doctor. Started taking it so we don’t have to… We don’t have to worry.”

That was early on in the relationship, when the trust was still being built, so Simon requested to see the pills before he fucked you raw, a true testament to his self-control because his mind was already going into a frenzy at the idea of it.

But now the trust is there, you are officially his girlfriend, and Simon cums in your pretty little cunt all he wants.

And when he comes home after a few months, he’s got a lot of it saved up for you. Refusing to fuck his hand those few weeks before coming back so he can give you just what you deserve.

It’s only evening so he is certain you’re still awake when he gets back. Not bothering to take off his boots or uniform, Simon closes the door behind him and is met with a warm, cozy home that smells like you- a scent he had grown feral trying to recreate in his mind.

You’ve been eagerly waiting on the couch for him, wearing just a pair of pajama shorts and one of his big, long-sleeve shirts. You practically run to him when he comes inside, socked-feet slipping a little against the wood floor and causing you to tumble into his arms.

“Be careful,” is the first things he says to you. Scolds, rather.

You don’t really hear him as you wrap your arms around his shoulders the best you can. He used to be hesitant about hugs, but now he’s quite the fan; loves how he can feel your breasts squish against his chest even through the uniform, and he feels how wild your heartbeat is, indicating that you’re just excited about seeing him as he is you.

Pressing your nose into his chest, Simon drops his duffel bag so he can fully embrace you.

“Missed ya,” he tells you, swallowing down the thrumming lust in his veins because he’s not sure if you’re in the mood that he is. He should be exhausted. Should undress and melt into bed without another thought. But the feel of you in his arms, that vanilla and floral scent of your shower gel that fills his senses and reminds him of how it feels to bury his face in your hair, makes him uncomfortably stiff.

“I missed you, too,” you sigh.

It’s a sweet moment, but the air quickly shifts when you feel his clothed cock press against your lower stomach. Your hug breaks slightly and you lift your head from his chest to look up at him in question.

“Don’t give me tha’ look,” he huffs. “What did you expect after three months?”

And with the way his bulge brushes against you, a soft whimper leaving your lips, Simon doesn’t have much control left. Not when he’d been saving himself for you, eager to spread you open and show him just how much he’d been thinking about you. Show you just how crazy you make him, despite all his previous efforts to keep some distance.

“Simon…” you whisper, and he’s already lifting his mask to cover your mouth with a firm, touch-starved kiss.

“I know, baby,” he mumbles into your mouth, letting his hands fall to your hips. Thinks it’s so cute how your little hands ball up the thick fabric of his shirt as you sigh into the kiss.

But he doesn’t kiss you for long.

It’s a flurry of movement, and in no time at all, Simon has his trousers bunched up at his ankles and your body pressed against the wall. He might’ve worried about being too rough with you, given how breakable you feel under his strong hands, but he’s known you long enough to know that his rough touch invites an excited gleam in your eyes and a slick warmth between your legs.

“Do you know how many times I thought about your cunt?” He demands low in your ear, keeping his body pressed close against yours. The warmth of him is consuming and the hairs on your skin stand up eagerly. His briefs are still on, barely able to keep his hard cock contained and you feel the tip of it peek out and graze against your thin shorts.

“In the middle of a fuckin’ mission,” he continues, groaning. “Miles away and your cunt still manages to distract me.”

He’s got a filthy mouth, and maybe he’s taunting you with it, but that doesn’t seem to be a concern as he fits a hand under your shorts and touches your folds. His fingers are met with the evidence of your arousal- evidence of how much of a distraction he was for you, too. Collecting some of the lubrication, his hand is soon gone so he can tug out his cock and stroke your wetness over himself.

“Thought about you, too,” you tell him weakly. Cheek to the wall, you feel his hand wrap around your hair and another hand shoves your shorts down.

It was sort of telling, how Simon had barely made it two steps into the house before you ended up with his weeping cock against your bare ass.

“Think you can take me?" he asks quietly, low and possessed. "Just like this, hm? Without my fingers getting you ready?"

You nod feebly against the wall, because you're not really sure if you can, especially since it's been awhile. But you're his girl, and you are always eager to please him. Eager to part your legs and open up for him without warning, no matter how much of a tight fit it may be at first.

He's wearing that hard skull mask of his and you feel it press against the back of your head, his warm breath in your ear as he rubs his cock against you. Everything is already slick and hot to the touch; he groans so hoarsely that you feel his chest vibrate against you.

Simon eases himself inside you and tightens his fist in your hair when he's met with resistance. "Relax for me," he orders in your ear. But you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by the thick, deep press of him.

It's not until his hands move under your oversized shirt that you feel yourself open up some more for him.

His hands are always explorative, but this time, he fixates them on your stomach as he finally manages to fit all of himself inside you. You feel stretched and sore, but his rough touch cupping your stomach and his encouraging words in your ear ease the discomfort until you feel your cunt lengthen enough to accommodate him.

"Good," he swallows, beginning to move. "That's... that's good. Feel you openin' up. I know it's been awhile, pet."

As you relax a bit, he's able to move faster. Keeping his hands on your stomach to hold you steady against his firm body, the draw of his hips languid and strong and desperate.

He's not in his right mind.

You do this to him. Make him think about things he shouldn't, like how soft and warm the skin of your stomach feels under his splayed palms. He cups and touches and rubs it, possessively, and you might have wondered what had him so obsessed with it this time more than any time before. But you're too busy whining and whimpering. Your hands pressed against the wall to absorb each powerful movement that he rocks into you.

"Simon," you manage to say.

"I've saved it all for ya," he grits out. "All my fuckin' cum. Didn't want to waste it in my hand. Wanted to... wanted to fill you up right when I got home."

"Yes, baby. Fill me up," you coax him and subconsciously jerk your hips back to meet his movements, inviting the head of him right to your cervix. It's a satisfying spot that needs attention, nestled deep inside you, and you moan out loud each time he fucks into it.

You notice his thrusts get sloppy and the sounds he makes indicate that he's close. So close... so fucking close because it's been so long, but also because Simon is deliriously rubbing your stomach and now your breasts, too, and there's something in him, something animalistic, that imagines really filling you up. Filling you up with his seed so it takes, stretches out your soft stomach, and fills your breasts with milk. You'd be marked with him in the most primal, noticeable way, and he doesn't know how or why this urge has overcome him.

He's not in control of what he's saying when he grabs your breasts and chokes out, "Gonna put a baby in you."

It's a shocking thing to hear.

But your cunt grows impossibly slicker and his words earn him a tight hug from your walls.

"That's right," he lifts up his mask just so he can bite at your shoulder. Encouraged by the clenching of your cunt, he continues. "You would like that, wouldn't ya? Letting me breed your pretty cunt?"

Breathless, wide-eyed, and about to cum, you nod and cry out, "Yes... Yes, I would like that. Give me... your baby, Simon."

It's all he needs to hear to flood your cunt with his pent-up cum, which he had saved just for this. And as he finishes in you, chest heaving and his hands still feeling over your stomach and breasts, Simon can't help but imagine that you're not on the pill this time. That his cum might really take hold. That even when he's gone, there will be evidence of him right underneath your shirt.

It's a scary (but very real) thought that he is left with even after his cock slips from you and all the cum drips down on the floor.

[traveler-at-heart]

Lessons of Love

Summary: So, Nerd!Natasha and Fem!R, their first date and everything fluffy. I just have a lot of thoughts about them and maybe this will be a series (and it will eventually contain G!P Natasha so if that's not your thing, you've been warned). Nerd!Natasha x Fem!Rogers Reader

Don’t count the days, make the days count.

Natasha’s father had told her that as if it was ancient wisdom and not a fortune cookie message.

It was also easier to say it when you didn’t have to attend high school. There were days when she couldn’t cope with it, like when the football team was agitated before a match, or there was some drama around the most popular people in school.

Those times were a stark reminder that Natasha had no one to talk to, a confidant to mock the jocks or a friend to share the gossip with.

Genius comes with a cost.

That one was her mom’s way of comforting Natasha.

She was the smartest person in school, miles above her peers. What she didn’t have in social intelligence, she more than made up with a sharp, quick and brilliant mind.

But as she entered the chem lab, and took a seat at the last table where she was always alone, Natasha wished that things could be different.

If only for a day.

“Morning, everyone” professor Fury greeted as people went to their seats. “You might have heard about an explosion during class” the few giggles that were heard were quickly silenced by Fury’s glare. “So, to keep this from happening again, we’ll switch the teams for the rest of the semester”

Natasha’s heart raced. What if people could choose and then she’d end up front of the class, everyone staring because no one picked her?

“So, alphabetically” Fury read the list, Natasha going over the name that was before hers…

Rogers.

She looked at you, sitting next to Wanda on one of the first tables. You waved at the twins when their names were called, laughing at Wanda’s annoyed stare. Being paired with her brother meant she’d do most of the work while he fooled around.

“Rogers and Romanoff”

Natasha saw you gathering your things and looking around. When you found her, a smile broke out and you walked to join her in the back of the room.

How does one greet the most popular girl in school? Head of cheerleaders, little sister of legendary quarterback Steve Rogers, not to mention the most beautiful girl in all of Shield High.

Not that Natasha was paying attention.

“Hey, Natty” you greeted, sitting next to her and looking around. “Wow, you can really see everything from here”

“I-I guess”

Natasha wanted to crawl under the table and hide. What was she supposed to talk about?

“Guess it’s my lucky day” you said, unable to deal with the silence. Natasha had a hard time understanding if you were being sarcastic. “I mean, you’re the capitan of the Science Club. So, that makes you the best partner anyone could hope for in Chemistry”

Natasha didn’t have time to answer, as Fury finally started with the lesson. Once he gave you all the instructions and wrote some exercises on the board, everyone went silent. Of course, Natasha was done in half the time.

“Show off” you teased and felt your heart beating faster when Natasha actually laughed.

“Want help?” she offered and you went over your notes, nodding.

“I think I got most of them except… this one?” you pointed with your pencil. Natasha leaned, reading again and pulling her chair closer to yours.

“You see, when you choose a coefficient, try to select one as low as possible”

“And that would affect all of the atoms in the molecule” you said and Natasha nodded. “Ok, I think I got it”

But the redhead kept staring as you began to write again, and you poked her side.

“Stop it, Romanoff”

You went back to work, missing the way Natasha blushed at the physical contact.

“Good. Now, I want you to get to know each other even better, so you’ll do a project for next class. Do not sass me, youths” Fury raised his voice as everyone began to protest.

“We’ve known each other our whole lives, can we skip this one?” Pietro said while pointing to his sister, and everyone laughed.

“No” Fury said, turning to write on the board again. “Do some research on why it’s important to balance chemical equations and what other parts of chemistry rely on this skill. Bonus points for concrete examples where it helped advance important research on other fields”

He dismissed the class, and everyone began to pack their bags to move to the next session.

“So… uh… how do you wanna do this? Wanna meet somewhere?” Natasha said, unfamiliar with team projects. Teachers would let her work alone, because pairing her with someone meant she’d do all the work and split the credit.

“Yeah, not my place though. The boys have their weekly pool game after football practice and they can get so loud” you rolled your eyes, walking out of the classroom next to the girl.

Natasha’s stomach turned at the idea of being anywhere near the school jocks.

“So, the school library?” you offered, giving her a way out in case her house was off limits.

“I think my mom has more books about it than the library”

Damn it, where did that come from? She couldn’t handle a class with you and now she was suggesting her place? Where would you even work? And Melina would make some embarrassing remark, or Alexei would ask a million questions and say something silly…

“Yeah, cool. I’ll stop by after cheerleading practice”

“Let me give you the address”

“Natty, I know where you live” you chuckled, surprised that she seemed surprised. “Remember your birthday party? I was there”

“That was like seven years ago”

“Yeah, so? I remember” you smiled. “Gotta run, see you later”

Natasha stared as you walked to History class. You turned around one last time, smiling shyly and waving at her.

Natasha waved back, her cheeks turning red at being caught staring.

Crap, she wasn’t going to survive this assignment.

—

You went up the steps, fixing your hair before ringing the doorbell.

God, how were you going to manage this afternoon with Natasha? You were barely able to keep it together during class.

You were still torn on how to manage your fight or flight response when the door opened.

“Y/N!” Natasha’s sister practically shouted your name.

“Hey, Yelena. I’m here to…”

“You know my name” the girl said.

“Well, yeah, you’re Nat’s sister”

Speak of the devil.

“Yelena!” Natasha went down the stairs in record time.

“What?” Yelena said, talking back as soon as Natasha switched to Russian. They went back and forth for a while, and you stood outside, wondering if you’d ever manage to get in.

“Sorry about that” Nat finally turned to you, Yelena leaving the room in a rush.

“No worries. I couldn’t understand you. Literally”

“My room’s this way” Natasha said, scratching the back of her neck.

A second later, she regretted letting you go up the stairs first. Your skirt moved with each step you took, toned legs in full display. Natasha had to pray she wouldn’t trip on the way up.

“Which door?” you turned to look at her, her ears red. You bit your lip, trying not to think how adorable she looked all flustered.

“The one on the right” she pointed and you nodded, waiting for her to tell you it was ok to open it.

“Wow” you said, looking around at the shelves full of books and scale models of different machines.

“You can take the chair if you want” Natasha offered her desk, and you were so busy reading the titles of the books you almost didn’t hear her.

“Oh, that’s ok. I can sit on the bed” you said, placing your backpack in the corner. You pulled out your laptop and opened a new tab. “I was thinking we can get all the info we need, and then decide how to organize it. I’ll write a draft and you can review it”

It was Natasha’s turn to be distracted, appreciating the way you leaned against her headboard, stretching your arms above your head.

“I-I got some books from my mom’s study.  Let me find the right one…” she sat on the floor and you laid on your stomach, your heads at the same height as you looked over her shoulder.

Natasha began reading and taking notes, while you reviewed some articles on your laptop.

“Ready”

“Ok” you said, changing to sit next to her on the floor. Natasha felt your shoulder against her arm, and your sweet parfume invaded her senses.

You always smelled good. And looked so pretty. It was hard to focus but she managed just enough to dictate some of the things she’d found useful.

“You don’t have to write this down, but let me know if you think any of it is interesting for the paper” she said, and you really wanted to pay attention, but your eyes kept drifting to her lips. “Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, I’m boring you” Natasha said, closing the book and looking dejected. She was about to put it away when you reached for her hand, sitting up.

“Now hold on. You weren’t boring me”

“It’s ok”

“Nat, look at me” you asked. The redhead seemed to forget you had moved closer when you reached for her hand, and when she turned to look at you, you were inches apart.

“I…”

Was she looking at your lips? Were you leaning forward? Did she want this?

You didn’t have time to find out, as the door to Natasha’s room opened and you jumped back.

“Oh! Yelena was telling the truth”

“Hi, Mrs. Romanoff” you greeted, hoping she didn’t notice your cheeks turning pink.

“Y/N, it’s so good to see you. Why are you sitting on the floor? Natalia, where are your manners?”

“Mom”

“No, that’s ok. I prefer the floor. Your hydrengias are looking spectacular, by the way” you tried to change the subject.

“Thanks to you! You were right about the change of place. Oh, I should have sent you a plate of cookies, you helped me with it and I didn’t even thank you”

“That’s ok, Mrs. Romanoff”

“Well if you want to stay for dinner, you’re more than welcomed” Melina turned to her daughter, with a more serious demeanor. “And you, remember to put those books right where they belong. I have a very particular system”

“Yes, Ma’am” 

“So…”

“I…”

You both spoke at the same time. 

“Sorry” you tried to breathe, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “You were saying?”

“I didn’t know you spoke to my mom about flowers?”

“Oh, that” you blushed and Natasha bit her lip, drinking in every word you said. “Yeah, Mom and I ran into her at the farmer’s market. They were talking about plants and we gave her some tips. That’s how we spend quality time, working on the garden”

Natasha nodded, but you still stared at her.

“Can I ask you something?” you said, looking at her lips. Natasha swallowed and nodded. “I… uh… why was Yelena acting weird when she saw me?”

That’s not what you meant to ask, but you had lost your courage.

“Oh…” the redhead looked disappointed. Or were you imagining things? “She’s obsessed with joining the cheerleading squad, and you being the President…”

“I’m not, anymore” you blurted out, surprising even yourself. “I mean, I’m still on the team… but I thought Pepper would do a better job” 

“But they won the Nationals last year because of you” Natasha protested, and you were taken aback by her sudden rage. “There’s no one better than you”

“That’s really sweet, Nat” you placed your hand on hers. “But it’s for the best. Trust me. I’ll have more time to focus on the school paper or… I don’t know, dating?”

“I guess you could do that…” Natasha said, looking at your hands. For the second time in the day, your eyes found hers and then traveled to those beautiful lips.

“Y/N!” 

Bucky shouted from the door. Damn it.

“My ride’s here” you said, disappointed. Natasha nodded, standing up and offering her hand to help you up. You took it, surprised at her strength. 

A gasp left your lips when you were face to face, inches away from her lips. All you had to do was step forward and stand on your toes…

“Y/N/N” Bucky insisted and you had to control the urge to tell him to go to hell.

“Sorry. I have enough notes to write something. Can I text you once it’s done?”

“Sure, let me give you my number”

“I already have it…” you blurted out, trying to hide your face.

“How?”

Now, this time you were grateful for Bucky’s insistence. 

“Coming, Buck! See you later?” 

“Yeah. I’ll walk you out” 

You nodded, allowing Natasha to lead you to the front door. Her father, coach Romanoff, was chatting with Bucky at the door.

“Good practice today” Alexei said and Bucky nodded.

“Thanks, coach” he then turned to you, offering his hand to get your bag. “Ready to go, doll?”

“Yeah. Thanks for having me, Nat. Say bye to your mom and Yelena for me?” 

“Sure”

An uncomfortable feeling took over Natasha as you walked next to Bucky, watching him take your bag and carry it for you. You laughed at something he said while he opened the car door for you and then drove away.

“They make a cute couple, don’t they?” Alexei said, but Natasha shrugged her shoulders and went back to her room, almost knocking Melina over on the way up the stairs. “Did I say something wrong?”

—

Natasha felt weird doing it, but she couldn’t help herself. 

She only opened an Instagram account to watch cool science videos. But she knew your username because Yelena followed you and now, she was acting like a creep, looking at your profile.

In search of what? She wasn’t sure. Maybe proof that you were dating Barnes.

“Hey” Yelena walked into her room and Natasha dropped her phone. “Ew, were you watching porn?”

“What? No! What do you want?” Natasha said, the blush in her cheeks only making her seem guilty.

“Well, just wanted to ask you if Y/N mentioned anything about this year’s tryouts?”

“No, we didn’t really talk about… that”

Natasha didn’t mention the conversation you had about stepping down as president. She had a feeling that was private.

“Ok, go back to watching porn” Yelena said, closing the door before Natasha could throw a pillow her way.

Then, her phone pinged and Natasha looked at it as if it was a cursed object. 

Unknown number: Hey, Nat. I have a draft ready. Lmk if I can send it to you

Natasha: Hi. Sure thing, I’m not doing anything

Damn it, way to be a loser, Natasha. 

She didn’t even wait a few minutes to reply.

Y/N: Ok, should be on your email now.

Natasha: Thnx, reading now.

Y/N: Gotta get ready for dinner. It was nice seeing you today.

Y/N: Outside of school, I mean.

Y/N: So… yeah. Anyway. I’m being weird, haha. Talk soon. 

Y/N: XO

Natasha’s heartbeat sped up with every new text. She caught herself reading them over and over again.

She didn’t have time to worry about what to reply, because her mother came knocking.

“Dinner’s ready. You can take your time… Yelena told me you were busy.”

“Oh, my GOD!” Natasha jumped out of bed, opening the door. “I am not… watching porn!”

“She said you were stalking Y/N’s instagram” Melina said, turning to find her youngest daughter holding a laugh.

“сука” Natasha screamed, running after her.

“Papa, help!” Yelena screeched, going down the stairs. 

“Language! And no running inside the house!” 

Melina sighed. With the way Natasha was looking at you today, she had a feeling that parenting was going to be even more complicated now.

--

Throughout the week, you never left Natasha’s mind. It was a strange feeling. She’d never dwelled on social interactions that much, thinking it wasn’t worth her time. 

But still, when Friday came, she was excited because you shared English class as well. 

And there you were, leaning against the door, speaking to Barnes. Again. Natasha sighed, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in her stomach at the way you laughed with him, smacking his arm playfully.

As usual, the redhead kept her head down and went to the last table of the classroom, where she could be left alone. Only, you walked straight to her as soon as Professor Harkness started the lesson.

“Hey” you greeted, sitting next to Natasha. 

“H-hi”

“Sorry, do you want me to find another place to sit?” you said, looking around the room. 

“No!” Natasha practically shouted, making you flinch. “I’m sorry. No, you can sit here”

You nodded, occupying the chair next to hers. It was going to be a slow day, as Ms. Harkness set up the projector to show a documentary about Patricia Highsmith. 

“You have to write a report about this so pay attention” the professor said, taking a seat to start the film.

While the documentary played, your mind kept drifting back to Natasha, sitting a few inches away from you. Truth be told, you had always found her to be beautiful, intriguing… but after spending an afternoon with her, those moments when you touched hands or locked eyes, kept replaying in your head. 

Instead of taking notes, you decided to execute a plan that was saved for the next Chemistry lesson. Drawing on a sheet of paper, you created a game of hangman, double checking the number of letters for each of the three words. 

Without looking at Natasha, you pushed the sheet her way. She looked at it for a second too long, and then at you. You were beginning to regret the whole thing, and then she underlined the letter T. You smiled, writing on the designated place.

Natasha took her time analyzing the sheet, but by the time the lesson was over, she had guessed some of the letters.

_o_i_   o_   _ _ tur _ _ y ?

The bell rang, and as the lights were turned back on, you looked at her, smiling nervously. 

“So… want me to tell you what it says? Or, you can take the sheet and text me if you figure it out?” 

God, you sounded so desperate. No wonder Natasha looked at you as if you had grown a second head. 

“I’ll take it” she smiled, placing it between her notebook and walking out.

“Actually, Nat…” you went after her. Why not just ask straight away and see what happened?

“Yes?” she said, turning to look at you. Truth be told, she was anxious to get out. Your proximity had distracted her during the entire class. And it only got worse when you slid that sheet her way, and she saw the way you were biting your lip nervously.

She had to force herself to look away from your lips. 

“I was thinking, if you’re not too busy…”

“Go on a date with me”

You were both taken aback by the interruption. The words were stolen right out of your mouth by a junior student, Peter Parker. He was staring at Natasha excitedly. 

“Never mind” you grumbled, rolling your eyes and walking away. 

Natasha flashed an angry glare at Peter, but you were walking down the hallway at record speed.

“What is wrong with you?” Natasha said. Peter was a year younger, but knew the redhead from science club. 

“Sorry, it’s just that I… those were the words that came out of my mouth to ask MJ out. MJ! And she said yes!”

“Yeah, start with that next time” 

Natasha spotted you across the hall, talking to Thor. Of course. 

“I have to go” Natasha pushed the boy aside.

She was so distracted, she never noticed where she was going until she opened the door to the computer room, where Barnes was making out with another senior, Sharon Carter. 

“Knock, damn it” Barnes said, but Sharon smacked his arm, looking stern.

“Don’t be a dick, James”

Natasha wanted to call Barnes a lot more than a dick, because who on their right mind would cheat on you? She stared at him a second longer, too angry to even speak, and then turned around, shutting the door behind her. 

You deserved so much better than Barnes. 

—

Y/N: Were you able to figure it out?

Natasha kept staring at her phone. She hadn’t replied to your message since yesterday and the longer she waited, the worse she felt.

Should she tell you about Barnes? Would you believe her? Or would you call her the worst name in the book and refuse to be in the same class as her? 

The girl was pacing around in her room, but of course Yelena chose that moment to play her music at full volume. Natasha let out an exasperated sigh, going to her sister’s room.

“Turn it down!” she yelled from outside, knocking several times to get Yelena’s attention. “Yelena? Your music is too damn…” let the record show she had tried to knock. Natasha walked into Yelena’s room without permission, ready to get into a screaming match with her sister. What she didn’t expect was to see you sitting on her bed, while Yelena showed you different things on her closet.

“I told you it was very loud, Yel” you said, smiling at the girl and then at Natasha, who took a step forward to shut the music down. “Hey, sorry about the noise”

“I don’t recall giving you permission to come in, sestra” Yelena said, examining a t-shirt and her favorite vest. She turned to you. “What about this?” 

“Yeah, that’s better. And hair braided, don’t forget that. Pepper and all the other girls love braids. I think the ones Natasha wears sometimes are really… uh, pretty”

You didn’t mean to sound like a creep, but of course you had noticed Natasha’s fiery hair braided from time to time. 

“So, since you’re standing there and made me turn off my music” Yelena turned to her sister, showing the outfit. “What do you think? Tryouts are on Monday and Y/N is helping me pick an outfit”

“That one’s nice” Natasha nodded, trying to avoid your stare. She thought she had today and tomorrow to figure out what to do over Barnes. But what if you came to talk to her and she just blurted the whole thing out?

So, she excused herself and thought it would be better to hide in her room. Peace didn’t last long, though.

“Knock!” Natasha grumbled when her sister got in. 

“Hey, you didn’t knock either just now. I wanted to ask if you got the tickets for the movie”

“Yes, of course I did”

“Good. I can’t go with you, so you should take Y/N”

“Wait, what?” Natasha hissed, trying to not lose it at Yelena’s ridiculous antics. “You can’t just cancel like that and she probably doesn’t even want to…”

“Ask her” 

“What?”

“Ask her. Or if you’re too afraid, I can do it for you. But honestly, Natalia. Just do it. You’re both driving me crazy”

Natasha didn’t know what Yelena meant by that, so she just rolled her eyes and sighed.

“I’ll ask her, I don’t want it to seem like my little sister has to arrange my outings”

“Fine. I’m getting some water, you should do it now. Don’t pass out” Yelena winked, knowing her sister could barely handle social interactions.

 Natasha felt her heartbeat strong in her chest, but didn’t wait too long before going back to Yelena’s room. She knew her sister meant it and would absolutely ask you out on Nat’s behalf.

“Hey, Y/N” she walked into the room, door ajar.

“Hey. What’s up? Want to try on outfits with us?” you joked. In spite of her nerves, Natasha smiled.

“I wanted to ask if you wanna go to the movies”

“Really?” you smiled. “What time?”

“It starts in an hour so… we can leave in thirty minutes if it works for you”

“Yeah. Awesome”

You didn’t think about asking which movie or anything else really. The fact Natasha had asked you was all you cared about. The redhead left the room once her sister came back, trying to hide her anxiety. Yelena gave her a knowing look, and kept chatting with you but wasn’t surprised to find you smiling out of nowhere, distracted and constantly checking your watch.

Once it was time to go, Natasha waited downstairs to drive you both to the movies. The ride there was quiet at first, until you reached out for the radio.

“Very cool” you praised when OK Go came on. “Their best music video is for I won’t let you down”

“What? No way! This too shall pass. That Rube Goldberg machine was insane”

“But what about all the extras and the umbrellas? Imagine the coordination it took. I tried to talk the girls into doing it for Nationals but they said I was insane”

Natasha laughed at that, humming along to the song, feeling more relaxed. You also smiled, and enjoyed watching her drive. She looked hot as she held the wheel. 

As you were arriving to the theater, you mentioned Barnes and how he always forgot to get the tickets and once again, Natasha’s anxiety came back. 

She was quiet as she parked and you both exited the car. 

“Wait. I’m sorry. I can’t do this” 

“Do what? What’s wrong?” you looked at her, searching her eyes. 

“Please don’t hate me” she pleaded.

“Natty, I could never” you shook your head, the term of endearment almost leaving Nat out of breath. 

“I saw… Barnes and Sharon Carter kissing in the computer room. I’m sorry”

“Ew. Yeah, they tend to do that anywhere they can. I’m the one who’s sorry you had to see it” you laughed, but the sound died down when Natasha looked at you as if you had grown a second head.

“Aren’t you dating Barnes?” she said, trying to understand everything.

“What? Gross. He’s like my other brother. Slightly less annoying than Steve, that’s for sure” 

“You’re serious?” Natasha said, feeling as if a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“I’m very serious and very much single… waiting for a pretty girl to come sweep me off my feet” you said, smiling as Natasha blushed. You took her hand, going inside the theater. “Come on, the movie is starting soon”

You waited in line for the candy store, her hand still in yours. Once it was time to get your stuff, you stood behind her, looking over her shoulder by standing on your toes. Natasha blushed at the contact, your chin resting against her shoulder while you asked the clerk for some chocolate.

“Let me” Natasha said, paying before you could give the man money. 

“Chivalry isn’t dead” you said, enjoying how much she was blushing. You smiled, helping her with the soda and finally going inside the room. 

“So, what are we watching?”

“It’s this new zombie movie, like found footage”

“Oh, cool” you muttered, feeling the palms of your hands get sweaty. 

“Sorry, I didn’t even ask if you were ok with that”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just a bit of a chicken” you laughed, settling in your seat. You hoped Natasha didn’t think you were lame and as the movie started, you really did try to be brave. And then a zombie came jumping through a window and you hid your face behind your hands. 

“Hey, it’s ok” Natasha took your hand. “We can leave if you want to” 

“No, I’m fine” you said, forgetting about the movie as soon as her hand let go of yours, arm going around your shoulders to comfort you. 

No way were you leaving now.

You leaned against her chest, hiding when something scary was about to happen. Natasha held you close, her hand going up and down your back in a soothing manner. 

Who knew all it took was some scary zombies to get close to her…

The movie didn’t last as long as you’d have liked, but still, you were happy when she kept holding on to your hand as you left the cinema.

“That was fun” you commented and Natasha let out a laugh. “What?”

“You were hiding half the movie”

“Maybe I liked that part the most” you challenged, pleased when she blushed again. “But next time, we’re watching a rom com or a sci-fi movie.”

“I’d like that” Natasha said and you were looking at her lips when your phone rang. “Want a ride home?”

“I couldn’t possibly ask you to”

“It’s not a problem. Come on” she walked next to you, opening the car door. 

“What else do you listen to?” you played with the radio, going from A-Punk, to Keane and Travis. “Really good taste”

“What about you?”

“Anything really. I have like 45 playlists that are completely random. I could send you one if you’d like” 

“Yeah, I’d like that” Natasha nodded. You smiled, enjoying the view (and by view you meant Natasha, her fingers tapping against the wheel) for the rest of the ride. 

Once you got home, she opened the car door for you again. You didn’t move from your spot next to her, enjoying the proximity.

“Nat?”

“Yes?”

“I like you” you said without a warning, and it was hard to tell who was more embarrassed, you or Nat. “I’m sorry for being so forward but I think I needed you to know. I’m thinking about kissing you and holding your hand and…”

For the first time in her life, Natasha did something without thinking. She pulled you by the waist, connecting her lips to yours. You groaned in surprise, but sighed against her mouth a second later. Your hands went up her neck, to keep her close to you as you moved your lips against hers.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself”

“Never apologize for doing that” you smiled, leaning your forehead against her shoulder. Natasha smiled, kissing your temple. “Are you good to drive?”

“Yeah” she nodded.

“Ok. I don’t want you to do it if you’re distracted or something. It could be dangerous, you know?” you rambled and Natasha saw genuine concern behind your words.

“I’ll text you when I’m home, how about that?”

“Yes, please” you sighed with relief. “Be careful. And thank you for today” without being able to help yourself, you stood on your toes and pecked her lips one more time.

Natasha got in the car, smiling as she drove back home. True to her promise, she texted you as soon as she arrived. 

She was expecting Yelena to greet her with a million questions, but the girl was back in her room, still listening to music.

Going back to her own room, she found the game of hangman you had done for her, now complete with Yelena’s handwriting.

Natasha was really clueless.

Movie on Saturday?

This whole time, you were asking her out. Natasha took a picture of the paper and sent it to her sister.

Nat: You went through my stuff.

Sestra: Ur welcome.

Natasha would never hear the end of it. Her phone pinged again.

Y/N: Glad you’re home safe. 

Y/N: Still thinking about that kiss.

Y/N: So… yeah. When’s our second date?

Coming to think of it, she was happy to pay that price. 

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Innocence (pt. 2)

Remus Lupin x f!reader

warnings: smut, protected p in v, oral (female receiving), fingering, loss of virginity, making out, underage smoking, underage drinking, slight innocence/ corruption kink, lmk if i missed any :)

summary: remus’s obsession with your purity ring gets worse, even after he finally gets it off your finger…

word count: 3.6k

a/n: ok so for anyone wondering when i wrote this i was thinking of the remus drawn by likeafunerall because omggg they draw him so good. let me know what you guys think ofc sorry if it’s not as good as the first part, i sorta rushed to get this out smh. but i’m so in love with remus hahaha

~~~

“Remus we shouldn’t be doing this...”

“Then tell me to stop.”

“I... fuck.”

Remus couldn’t help the smirk that took over his face. He finally had you in a spot he’d fantasized about countless times, he wasn’t going to let it go so easily. It was simple really. You were pressed against a wall, and he was on his knees in front of you. He wished he could see the look on your face, you must’ve been blushing hard, your soft eyes squeezed shut as you tried to deny yourself the pleasure your body craved. Unfortunately, your skirt was over his head and prevented him from seeing your pretty face as he ate you out.

It had been a few weeks since the first time you let him touch you, and it would be an understatement to say he enjoyed it. He was obsessed with it. He was obsessed with you. With every encounter the two of you shared it was like a part of your innocence was taken away and given to him. You were still far more innocent than anyone else in the year, without a doubt. But ever so slowly you were losing that innocence, and it drove Remus mad.

What else drove him mad was just how needy you became. You’d seek him out almost daily for some sort of touch. Whether it was for you, for him, or both of you, you wanted it. And you wanted it badly. Though the two of you agreed to keep what went on a secret from the rest of your friends, you sometimes were not the best at subtle hints. You would whisper to him how much you needed him and that was it. Who was he to deny you anyway? A lot changed in a short time, except for one thing.

The ring.

That stupid gold band remained on your finger through all of it. However, Remus would never say anything about it. He would never pressure you to go further, no matter how much he wished to. Because, despite the circumstances that brought the two of you together, he really did care about you. You were funny, sweet, and incredibly kind. What was there not to like? Your beauty spoke for itself, as did your inexperience. He would wait for you however long, or if you decided you never wanted to go all the way he wouldn’t care. You had more control over him than you knew.

“Rem...”

Your voice brought him back to reality. He hadn’t realized how through his thoughts he kept going. You were practically dripping; your arousal covered his chin. Without a second thought, he wet two of his fingers and gently thrust them inside you, only adding to the shakiness of your legs.

When you were done, he was quick to pull his head from under your skirt and look up at you. As he imagined, your face was bright red. But instead of your eyes being shut as they typically were, you looked down at him. There was a wildness in your eyes that he hadn’t seen before, like a mixture of confidence and something else he couldn’t name. It entranced him.

“You’re mad,” you mumbled as you began to fix your skirt and panties.

Remus chuckled. “Yeah, a bit.” He stood, not looking away from you for even a second. “But a lot for you.”

You smiled and looked away, your shyness returning. “Sure. So do you want to go back first or shall I?”

“You can, I have to go to the library anyway,” he answered. He also had to wait a few minutes for his boner to go away, but he wasn’t going to tell you that.

“Alright.” You ran your fingers through your hair and smoothened your uniform. “Do I look normal?”

“You look beautiful,” he said. He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “You are beautiful.”

You were clearly flustered at his compliment, it was adorable. “Um thank you, I’ll um see you later then yeah?”

“Yeah, see you later,” he replied.

You gave him one last smile before exiting the closet, checking both ways before doing so. Remus leaned against the wall and sighed. He really was starting to like you, and he didn’t know if that was a good thing. Relationships were never of much interest to him, he always thought they took too much effort and time away from things that actually mattered. You already consumed most of his thoughts, and you took up a decent amount of his time. For once, he didn’t know what to make of the situation. Except for one thing.

The closer the two of you got, the closer he was to getting that ring off your finger.

A smile formed on his lips.

~~~

One afternoon as the two of you sat in History of Magic together listening to Professor Binns’s long lecture about one of the Giant wars, Remus decided to test your limits.

You shared a desk in the back, Lily and Mary were in front of you. Remus glanced around the room to make sure no one was paying attention. As he expected, half the class was almost asleep, and the other half was doodling on their notes or whispering with their partners. He then looked at you. Your head was perched up on your hand, your eyes fighting to stay open. It made his chest fill with excitement.

Casually, as if he were doing nothing wrong, he placed one of his hands on your knee. Instantly your eyes opened and turned to him. He pretended not to notice, though he watched your posture change from his peripheral vision. He kept his head forward as he began to slowly creep his hand up your thigh. He moved his hand under your skirt, the feeling of your warm skin a familiar comfort.

“Remus,” you whispered his name like a warning.

As his fingertips brushed against your panties, he turned to you and lifted a finger to his lips, silently telling you to be quiet. Much to his surprise, you didn’t push him away. You only nodded your head and pretended to turn your attention back to the lecture. He slipped his fingers under your panties and found you were already wet.

Dirty girl, he thought as he began to touch you.

~~~

The fateful day came not too long after that day. Truthfully, though he had been trying to build up to it for at least a month or two, he didn’t expect it. When you first told him about what the ring symbolized, you were set on following the rules. Other guys had tried to fuck you before, he knew that, and you told him about that. So, what was different about him? Was it because the two of you had been friends since first year? Or was it because he was simply the first boy who truly tried? You were more of a mystery than he expected.

On the special day or night, Remus snuck you up to his dorm. It was during the celebration of Gryffindor winning the quidditch cup which meant no one would be in the dorm until very late, if ever. The two of you had a few drinks, but not enough to make either of you drunk. He had even convinced you to take a hit from his cigarette. Though you coughed terribly, he still thought you looked very attractive. The air that night felt different, even to him, perhaps that’s why you finally decided you wanted to go all the way.

“Did you see Sirius?” You laughed after the two of you entered the dorm. “He was starting to pour body shots.”

“He’s celebrating, let him live,” he replied with a smile.

You fell back onto his bed, and your laughter continued. He made sure to cast an extra locking spell on the door before he moved to the bed and laid down next to you. You instantly turned on your side, propped yourself up on your elbow, and stared down at him, that wild look back in your eyes.

“What’s your game then Lupin,” you said.

He looked at you confused. “What do you mean?”

“With me. I mean, we’ve known each other since we were eleven, we’ve hung around the same people, but we were never that close. Then suddenly like two months ago, you offered to have sex with me. What’s the reason?” You looked away for a few seconds. “I just... I don’t understand where it came from that’s all.”

Remus Lupin was never one who typically got stumped on a question, but at that moment he was. What was he supposed to say exactly? That he had always wondered why you wore that ring and when he found out what it was for, he wanted to see if he could get it from you? That he had become obsessed with your innocence? Neither would work, he knew that. So, he settled on the third option.

“I dunno, honestly. Why did you take me up on the offer? Or well, part of the offer.”

Once he said the words aloud, he realized how awful they sounded. He observed your face, waiting for a frown to form to indicate that you were upset. But it never came. You only gently smiled and shrugged.

“I dunno either.” You placed your hand on his chest, your left one. He watched you drag your fingers up and down his body, the ring like a painful reminder of what hadn’t happened. “But I think... I think I’m ready to take you up on the full offer.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

“I know I said I didn’t plan on doing that and I’m completely contradicting myself, and I’m going against my family and my religion but I... As you said, people do it all the time and it’s normal. If you don’t want to, I understand,” you answered. Even through the dark, he could see your blush. Merlin how he loved it.

“Why would I not want to? I should be asking you that,” he replied, trying his best to keep a neutral face despite how excited he was.

“It can be intimidating, right? To be someone's first. I don’t want you to think it has to be some special big thing because it’s not. In my head, I used to think it was supposed to be all that but after starting this with you I sorta realized I don’t care for special I just you know... want it to be with you. And don’t feel pressured or anything, I’m not going to ask to be your girlfriend or any of that. I- sorry, I’m saying too much again, aren’t I?”

Remus gave you a gentle smile and took your hand in his. “No, you’re not saying too much. Actually, you’re saying about the right amount. If that’s all what you truly feel, then I’d be more than happy to oblige. But I need to know, you’re positive. What we’ve been doing is wonderful and I enjoy it very much, but if that’s all you want, we can keep it that way. I know it was special to you to wait for marriage and if that’s not the case anymore great, but I need to know you’re sure of it.”

“I am sure, I promise. I’ve been wanting to for a while, but I wanted to be sure and now I am, do you want to?” You asked shyly.

“Very much,” he said with a laugh.

“Then um... we should... right?”

“You want to right now?”

You bit down on your lip for a few seconds and nodded. “Yeah... unless you want to wait.”

“I think we’ve waited long enough,” he replied.

He was quick to kiss you. He was quick to climb over you. He was quick to undress you. But he took his time pleasing you. Despite what you said, he wanted it to be at least a bit special. So, he took his time, making you finish at least twice with his tongue and fingers before even beginning to move on to the other part.

As he slipped a rubber on, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. If you knew the only reason, he started all of this was some sort of challenge, would you have still let him do what he was about to do? Probably not. He had feelings for you then, of course. But it would be a lie to say he did the entire time. His eyes searched your face. You were so sweet, so delicate, so innocent. And he was about to take it away.

“You’re still sure?” He asked as he moved between your legs again. His question had a far deeper meaning than you would ever know.

“Yes,” you answered, your breath still heavy from your last orgasm. “I want you.”

He positioned himself so his tip was touching your entrance. “Alright, but if it’s too much tell me.”

“I will.”

He connected your lips and ever so slowly began to push himself inside you. Even though you were very wet, you were still very tight. Remus’s breath caught in his throat as he entered you. You felt better than any girl he’d ever been with, and he was sure of it. Despite just how good it felt, he paused halfway to make sure you were still all right. Your face was scrunched up, a telltale sign that you were in pain, but you told him to keep going. Still, he double-checked before continuing.

After checking once more when he was fully in, he truly began to shag you. From the moans and whispers that left your lips, he knew you enjoyed it. It made him glad; he didn’t want you to be in pain. You wrapped your legs around his waist and dragged one of your hands down his back, your nails reassuring him just how much you were enjoying it. He laced his hand through your other one and held it against the mattress, the cold feeling of your ring making his lips turn up into a smirk.

What good was it doing then?

“Rem,” you whimpered. “God Rem.”

He looked down at you and noticed you had tears in your eyes. “Do you... want me to slow down?”

“No, please don’t, please don’t,” you replied. “It’s so good.”

“Anything for you love,” he whispered, his breathing hard.

He rested his forehead on yours and continued as long as he could, which wasn’t as long as he would’ve wanted. How was he supposed to last long though? You were so warm, so soft, and extremely tight. The second you began pulsating around him, it was over. He came so hard he lost control of himself, his body collapsed on yours. For a few seconds he swore he couldn’t breathe, his eyes were squeezed shut. But he composed himself as best as he could and moved off you to throw the condom away.

When it was done, he laid back down next to you and pulled his sheets over your naked bodies. The realization hit him. You were no longer a virgin, and he was the reason. A sense of pride filled his chest, but along with that was a feeling of compassion. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close.

“How do you feel?” He asked.

“Aside from sore, nothing. It’s so strange, I always thought it would be a monumental moment in my life but it’s not. I’m still the same,” you answered.

He nodded. “I’m glad. So, you don’t feel any regret or anything?”

“No, do you?”

“Of course not, why would I ever regret shagging you?” He laughed.

You softly chuckled and looked up at him, your face red. “Sorry, that was stupid.”

“The sex or what I said?”

“What you said,” you replied. You turned your head and lifted your hands, a strange look on your face. “I suppose it’s time to take this off.”

“Oh, right,” he said, pretending to not care.

You pulled the ring off your finger and turned back to him, a smile on your face. “This belongs to you now, though I think I should take it home with me once summer comes. You know, so my parents don’t freak out.”

Remus took the ring from you, an indescribable feeling forming inside him. After everything, it was finally his. He’d imagined this moment many times, but never did he imagine just how victorious it would feel. The ring belonged to him now, his eyes shifted, and so did you. He placed it on his nightstand and smiled.

“I’m honored, thank you.”

You pressed yourself closer to him. “Out of every boy here Remus you’re the only one who deserves it, thank you.”

He placed a kiss on your head before falling back on the mattress, his eyes finding the ring once again.

He won.

~~~

The next day, despite still having agreed to keep things secret and unofficial, Remus did something that said the opposite of your relationship. He got ready for the day like normal, except for two aspects. One, he had to hold Sirius’s hair back as he threw up in the toilet from his hangover. And two, he wore a chain over his shirt and tie. It wasn’t just a chain though. No. It was a chain that had your ring dangling on it. He wore it like a prize, one for everyone to see.

He made his way down to the great hall for breakfast with a swing in his step and a small smile on his lips despite Sirius’s nagging to go back to bed. When he entered the great hall, he kept a straight face. Even when he caught your wide eyes, even when he heard Mary and Lily’s loud gasps, and even when James started to question him.

“You shagged y/n?” He questioned. “I didn’t even know the two of you were close. When did this happen?”

Remus only shrugged. “I dunno what you mean.”

It wasn’t until later in the day during History of Magic that he finally got a chance to speak to you. He felt a bit off as it was noticeable how uncomfortable you were sitting next to him. Lily and Mary gave him odd looks, almost as if they were disappointed in him. He didn’t care for their opinions though, yours was the only one that mattered.

“Hey,” he said after a minute or two. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” you replied, not turning your head in his direction.

“Are you still sore?” He asked, his voice quieter. He glanced around the room, a few pairs of eyes were on the two of you, but none that had any real value. Still, he found it strange they were looking.

“Yeah, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” you answered.

He didn’t exactly know what to say. “Great.”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence filled the air, Remus didn’t know what to make of it. You were acting differently. Were you regretting what happened? He didn’t think you did, at least, you hadn’t made any specific indicators that you did. Suddenly, his eyes fell to the chain around his neck and the realization hit him. You were uncomfortable because of the ring being on display. He felt terrible. Without another thought on it, he tucked the chain under his shirt, the cold temperature of it comforting in a way against his warm chest. Then, he looked back at you.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his words genuine.

You bit down on your lip, your eyes still locked on the front of the classroom. “I- I don’t know what you’d have to be sorry for.”

“The ring I... I should’ve asked first before wearing it like this. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry for springing it on you like I did, really y/n I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable,” he explained.

“It’s fine.” You shifted. “But now... not everyone knows. And I... I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. You can tell me how you feel y/n, I would never tell anyone or judge you.” And it was true, he never would. He cared about you, more than he initially thought.

You finally turned your head to look at him. Your expression spoke for itself. You were hurt. It made something in his chest twist. “I suppose that I liked this being just... ours.”

“It still can be.”

“Can it? I mean, it feels like everyone knows now. Lily and Mary know, I assume James, Sirius, and Peter do as well. I hate the attention.” You fumbled with your fingers. “Did you... tell them anything?”

“No, nothing,” he answered. “Have you?”

“I just told Lily and Mary that nothing happened and that it was a coincidence. But... I don’t think they believe me,” you mumbled in a tone they couldn’t possibly have heard.

He licked his lips and sighed. “Then we’ll just both deny it, they can’t prove anything. I’ll keep the ring hidden and we don’t have to keep doing anything.”

Your face changed. “Oh. You don’t... you don’t want to anymore?”

“No, I do, but I thought you didn’t want to. Do you still want to?” There was hope in his voice. He assumed you wanted to be done, based on your body language at least. But the way you looked at him then spoke otherwise.

“I mean... yeah if that’s okay,” you said shyly, your cheeks turning red.

Ah, right again.

He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips. “So, we will, it’s settled.”

“It is.”

Victory was a good feeling. You were finally his. His to taint, his to please, his to use. He touched a hand to his chest and felt the ring through the fabric of his shirt. It felt good. Very good. And who knows, perhaps one day you'd be his girlfriend.

He looked down at you.

You probably would be his girlfriend.

He smiled again.

~~~

@misacc08 @whotfskai

[justmeinadaze]

"I'm Just a F**ked Up Girl Looking For Her Own Peace of Mind"

I'm currently experience this and struggling with it so I wrote a little thing here. *sighs*

TW: Mental health (anxiety and depression), child abuse, mentions of suicidal thoughts. Reader has a breakdown and the guys help her through.

Eddie firmly barreled open the front door as he powerwalked into the house. Steve had texted those two words he dreaded every time he got a text from the former jock. 

“Bad day.”

When they started dating you, you told them about your past. About the hospital stay and medication… the depressive lows and manic anxiety episodes… the thoughts that pushed through your head from time to time even though your life was so much better now than where it had been. 

“I’m not…easy…to be with.”

“That’s ok, honey, neither are we.”

You three had laughed at that at the time. 

The first time they experienced it broke their hearts for you. People always mentioned “feeling depressed” or “oh I’m so anxious about this thing!” but they discovered the true meaning of those words during your first break in front of them.

They hadn’t moved in with you yet so you were able to hide the fact that you hadn’t been sleeping. Your mind constantly reminding you of things that needed to be done and how you were a failure for not doing them. Nightmares plagued your dreams at all hours so you just gave up, scrolling through your phone instead as the mental illness continued to whisper.

“Do better. You’re lazy. May as well just get it over with and end the burden you put on people.”

That following evening you had a date night with them at their place and you couldn’t cancel. You genuinely wanted to see them but you were so tired…

“A good girlfriend goes out on dates. Go ahead. Cancel. Let’s see how quick they leave you for someone better.”

Through the first half of the movie they put on, your leg never stopped moving. Steve watched as your eyes never stayed focus in one place. Eddie felt your erratic energy radiate off you as you switched from holding his hand to letting go every few minutes. 

“Baby? Is everything ok?”

“Yeah.”, you responded a bit too enthusiastically. “Yeah, Ed, I’m fine. I’m just…I’m just a bit tired. It’s ok. I’ll get over it.”

Steve paused the film and as his hand petted your head you broke down. 

“I’m sorry. Fuck! Why can’t I be normal?! I’m ruining everything. You should just leave me and find someone better.”

“Hey, hey. No. Sweetheart, no one is better than you.”

“Talk to us, honey. What’s going on?”

You sobbed as you told them what had been happening over the last few days. The listened intently, comforting you anyway they could think of in that moment. 

“They don’t go away, Steve. Those thoughts never go away. Most days I can manage them but they are always there. W-Who can I tell? If I tell a therapist or a doctor they will put me back in the hospital even though I’m not going to do anything… I can’t tell my friends because I feel like I’m burdening them or they just don’t care. I can’t tell people in general because then I’m being ‘overdramatic’. I can’t take time to heal because I’m supposed to ‘suck it up’. So I do… Eddie, I want my brain to just stop telling me I want to die because I really don’t. Some days, though, on bad days…it’s so loud…”

The metalhead yanked you to his chest as you cried, crying with you as he tightened his grip as if he could squeeze all your broken pieces back together. He’d give anything to take your pain away, they both would. 

Today was a manic day and Steve picked up on it fast. Today was his day off and as soon as you woke up, you barely said a word. He asked you if you wanted breakfast and you shot him an angry look as you walked away. Turning on the tv, he put on the game but after a few minutes you came around the corner snapping at him to turn the noise down. Even when he muted the sound, he could hear you growling and swearing under your breath as you moved around the bedroom. 

Other people would see it as you being a brat; causing drama for the sake of drama. 

You wished you could make the world understand that was the opposite of what you wanted. In an episode like this everything was just…amplified…and for some reason your brain insisted it was on purpose. Steve was purposely turning up the volume to get under skin. The birds chirping outside knew you were on the edge so they gathered outside your window with intent. Even the clock on the bed side table was mocking you. 

Both men tried to handle days like this by themselves but when it got to a certain point, they knew they needed to come together to help you. That point came when you abruptly screamed and threw something hard against the wall. 

When Eddie entered the bedroom, Steve was off to the side watching you as you angrily paced, fluttering your fingers with eyes squeezed tightly closed. 

“What happened?”

Your eyes open at the sound of his voice as you shrugged and threw your hands in the air. 

“What happened? What the fuck happened?! Oh, I don’t know. Where do we start, Eddie?! This house is a fucking mess. I tell you guys all the time I need fucking help! I’m not a maid! I’m your girlfriend! But who fucking cares right?! We can just live in trash and be unhappy!”

They knew better than to respond. Before you three moved in together, you had suggested they come to therapy with you and they were surprised with some of the things they learned. They and even you knew they were more than accommodating when it came to housework and splitting household chores. When you were growing up, however, it was never enough.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, look at this mess! Did you do anything today?!”

Little you looked around at the immaculate living room wondering what else you could have missed. 

“I work and I slave all day at a job I hate so you can have food and a roof! The least you could do is fucking get off your ass and clean a bit!”

“I-I’m sorry, mama.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just do your job! We’re a team remember? I need you to pull your weight.”

They could almost see interactions like that replaying through your eyes and it killed them. They also saw how fast the logic brain took over as you realized what you were doing before the depressive brain abruptly took over.

“I’m sorry. I-I don’t mean to… I know I’m being crazy…I just…” You lean your back against the wall and slide to the floor with your hands over your ears. 

Both men descend with you, crawling closer to you and as soon as Steve’s hand touches your bicep you head shoots up with eyes full of tears. 

“I’m sorry. You two don’t deserve this. I’m a terrible girlfriend.”

“No, baby, you’re not terrible. Everything’s ok.”

“I-I-I appreciate…e-e-every…everything you guys do. Fuck. Everything is so loud, Eddie. I can’t… I couldn’t…I just wanted to scream…”

“Then scream.” You laughed at his response as you wiped your eyes but he insisted. “I’m serious, sweetheart. Just let go.”

“What about…about the neighbors?”

“Like they don’t get an earful almost every night.”, he jokes, grinning when you laugh again. “Go ahead. Just lean back and let loose.”

You roll your eyes as you do what he says but it’s a small shout that barely echoes in the room. 

“Wow. That was both adorable and pathetic. Come on now. Steve, why don’t you try?”

Chuckling, he struggles to stop smiling making you giggle harder before finally closing his eyes and letting out a good scream that makes the metalhead clap. 

“That’s the king of Hawkins right there! Now try again princess.”

Sighing at his antics, you do as he says actually letting go while they scrunch their face and cover their ears. 

“Woo! That was like Banshee from X-Men! Way to go!”

“What about you, nerd?”, you ask as he smirks.

Eddie doesn’t even hesitate as he leans his head back and howls loudly like a wolf. 

“I love you both.”, you softly grin as you reach for both boy’s hands. “I’m sorry for being…me.”

Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, Steve tilts you closer to him and kisses the top of your head. 

“Don’t ever apologize for being you, honey. We love you. Every part of you.”

“We know everyday you’re trying, baby. Unlike your mother who insists on being an evil little gremlin.” You giggle at Eddie’s interpretation. “Like your wizard of a therapist said, healing takes time and we’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“Jesus, Munson, you ARE a nerd.”, Steve jests. “But the other stuff he said I agree with.”

“Oh please! Tell me her doctor doesn’t sound like Gandalf from time to time.”

“I still have no idea who that is.”

After rising to his feet, the metalhead grabs your hands and pulls you off the floor. 

“Well, I know what we’re doing tonight.”, he announces with a mischievous smirk before kissing your lips and running back towards the living room. 

“I’ll make dinner.”, Steve murmurs as he leans down to kiss your lips as well. 

“Oh, you know he won’t allow that. He’s going to want you in front of the tv so you don’t miss anything.”

“True. Hm. How about Enzos delivered?”

When you nod, he caresses your cheek before disappearing after his friend. 

As your eyes glance around the room again everything seems different than it did before. Instead of seeing a mess ridden, dark empty area, you saw a bright room filled with memories of the men you loved making you laugh and feel loved unconditionally. 

“But for how long? It’s only a matter of time.”

“No, it’s not.”, you whisper. 

Taking a deep breath, you head towards the living room where Eddie and Steve greet you with a comforting smile. 

[livelaughlovesubs]

Oooh I just remembered, one night I dreamt about a man (I don't know who but he looked like Toji) I was massaging but he was extra sensitive and had an erection (and I kissed him at the end it was the best dream of my life)

I wrote it with details but it stopped before the really good part so what do you think about I put an ask with my dream and you finish it (to make it like it's real, don't know if you understand) ?

Since I don't know who the man is you could consider him as Toji or not I'm ok with whatever

-🍎

Sure love, you were giving him a massage, and kissed at the end? Got it, however I wasn’t sure how to approach this, but I hope it still suit your tastes

And it’s sfw, wow damn, I don’t write that often

You spaced out a little, something that happens often when this man comes into your salon. What is it about him, that keeps making you daydream? Due to your low concentration, you accidentally kneaded his sore shoulders too roughly, applying too much pressure. He let out a low growl, probably due to the pain. “I’m sorry! Are you alright?” You immediately asked, his body twitched together at your action. “I’m fine, don’t mind me.” The man said, but he was shifting uncomfortably. “I’m really sorry, it won’t happen again.” Then, you continued massaging him, though you couldn’t help stealing glances at his body. Due to you being a sport massage expert, you’ve seen your share of well build people, but he was on another level. Usually, when they are this fit, they have a private massager, though you are by no means complaining.

“Sir, should I do your back as well? Or move on to your legs?” He ordered a full body massage. You are a professional, so you won’t get embarrassed because of it, but it’s still a little, strange. “… legs first.” “Alright!” Slowly you made your way over to the other side, when something caught your eye. Ah, how awkward, he was having a tent. What do to, you should just ignore it and act as if you didn’t see anything, right? Then you took another sneak peek at the man, his eyes were widened as well, and his ears were a little redder then before. Guess he didn’t notice it until now too. Then your gazes locked, you looked away as soon as you felt him stare and went to grab some massage oil.

When you came back, you smiled innocently again, trying to act ignorant. “Sir, may I-” “you saw, right?” What the, you were trying to act oblivious for his sake, so why is he bringing it up now? “What? I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, now shall I continue with the massage?” God, just what did you do wrong to deserve this. “Come here.” He ordered you to him, and if he wasn’t your client you definitely wouldn’t have listened. “What is, good sir?” “Don’t act dumb with me, I know you saw. So…” “sir, you aren’t implying that I should help you with your problem, right?” Sure he was handsome, but this is too far. “No, no.. just, give me some alone time, please.” Ah, so that’s what he was getting at. Alright, good to know he wasn’t a creep.

You could see that he was embarrassed, and since you were so close to him, you could see his features very clearly. He did looked pretty good, and how is his skin so smooth? Subconsciously, you leaned too much into him, your nose almost touched his. “Ah..huh?” Then you snapped out of it again. “Oh, sorry. I apologise.” What was wrong with you today, why were you so out of it? “It’s alright, I wouldn’t mind if you kissed me.” Now he was taking you by surprise, he must have thought your weird antics were a try to kiss him. Isn’t that sexual assault though? Wait, not when he allows you to. Or is this a prank? You were so surprised, you didn’t know how to answer. It’s like you froze, and he took that opportunity to kiss you instead. It must have been only a quick kiss on the lips, but it felt like eternity, as if time stopped when you two came into contact. He is messing with you, he definitely was.

After he pulled away, you just went back to his legs and started applying the massage oil. “I’ll finish up your massage quickly, afterwards I might have some time to kill.”

[theoncelee]

Squealing Santa Submission!!

I’ve had this done for a bit, but figured I’d post it on Christmas Day because why not?

Hi! @blueberrygiggles I’m your Squealing Santa this year!! Thank you @hypahticklish for orchestrating! I really can’t be trusted with winter holiday themed things can I? Yes, I wrote about both Chanukkah and Christmas, again. Listen I just can’t pick, ok? They’re both too fun. Hope that’s ok 😅

Also I made a lil visual aid it’s just flat colors but:

Fandom: MHA

Ship: KiriBaku (Romantic)

Warnings: Light swearing and capital text. Other than that nothing this is super fluffy ^-^

Summary: AU where Kirishima celebrates Christmas and Bakugou celebrates Chanukkah. Kirishima and Bakugou are enjoying a lazy day chilling in Bakugou’s dorm room. The topic of which winter holiday, Christmas or Chanukkah, is better comes up. Playful tickling ensues 😈. Later, when lying in bed, Kirishima takes his sweet, soft, revenge.

Bakugou and Kirishima were just chilling in Bakugou’s dorm room, shooting the shit.

“I’m just saying, Christmas is the best holiday. I mean, come ON. Lights, cookies, and best of all, MAGIC. Chanukkah has NOTHING on THAT” Kirishima argued playfully.

“Nothing you say? Chanukkah has latkes, fire and gambling. That beats some fatass in a stupid suit any day of the week” Bakugou replied.

“Gambling?” Kirishima questioned.

“The fuck do you think dreidel is, shitty hair?”

Kirishima burst into loud laughter at that.

“DREIDEL? PFFT ihit doehoesn’t cohount if ihit’s chohocolahahate”

“Alright, pack it up gaylord before I give your something to laugh about” Bakugou shot back.

“You say as if you aren’t the biggest gigglemonster in Class 1A, Bakubro.” Kirishima teased with his signature shark-toothed grin and a wiggle of his fingers.

“Speak for yourself, sir laughs-a-lot” Bakugou retorted with an indignant huff.

“Aww that was cute. I’m tickled”

“You will be if you don’t watch your attitude”

“Says you, giggles” Kirishima replied, accentuating the statement with a quick poke to Bakugou’s side, causing the fiery blond to bite down on his lower lip.

“That’s rich coming from you, flinch-meister” Bakugou easily returned, tasing kirishima in the ribs, resulting in a dramatic flinch and a sharp gasp.

“Oh yeah? Well, too bad you’re too slow to catch me.”

And with that Kirishima took off running out of Bakugou’s dorm room and towards the common room in a blind fit of nervous energy, giggles already threatening to bubble up and out of his throat. Bakugou was hot on his trail, fighting a grin of his own (he DID have a reputation, you know). The two quickly found themselves in the common room, facing each other from opposite ends of the couch, swerving to try and fake the other out. Though they tried to look serious, no one could mistake the excitement and playfulness dancing in their eyes. Finally tiring of the back and forth game, Bakugou leapt across the entire couch, flying into Kirishima and barreling them both to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Bakugou scrambled to straddle Kirishima.

“Nooo dohohon’t”

“Don’t what, shitty hair?”

“Tihickle mehe”

Before Kirishima ever realized the trap he’d fallen into, Bakugou shoved his hands up his boyfriend’s shirt and scratched at Bakugou’s toned stomach.

“AIIIIIIIIEHAHAHA BAHAKUHUBROHOHO”

“Yes love?”

“AHAHAHAA”

“I’m sorry, I can’t understand you sweetheart”

“NAAAAAHAHAHA DOHOHON’T” “AHAHAHA STAHAHAHAP”

“Don’t stop? Well, if you insist”

“NOHOHOHO IHIHI AAHAHAHA”

“Just shut up and laugh, shitty hair”

With that Bakugou squeezed his hands into Kirishima’s underarms. And Kirishima did indeed “shut up and laugh” considering he could no longer get a single word out through his laughter. Sensing his boyfriend was reaching his limit, Bakugou moved on to his grand finale, Kirishima’s ribs. He found the rib 3 from the bottom on the left, the one he KNEW Kirishima couldn’t stand, and dug in with scratching, vibrating fingers. The reaction was immediate.

“AAAAAIIIIII…………AHAHAHA………AH………NAHAHHHH……MEHE…..HERHEE….CEEEEE”

That last scream sounded suspiciously like “Mercy”, so Bakugou slowed his tickling down to just gentle tracing, keeping Kirishima in light giggles before rolling off him to get him some much needed water. Kirishima just closed his eyes and smiled, feeling significantly happier than he had before.

Later that night, Kirishima and Bakugou were cuddled up in Kirishima’s cramped bed, the tips of their noses practically touching as they easily shared whispers and hushed laughter between them. Wide smiles tugging hard at their cheeks, stray hands roaming, blushes deepening. All it took was one stray finger brushing against Bakugou’s side where it met his back, causing Bakugou to let out a small yelp and Kirishima to raise an eyebrow, mischief dancing in his eyes.

“Oh? What’s that I hear? Is that…an opportunity for revenge?” Kirishima wasted no time grabbing Bakugou’s waist, flipping him over and pulling Bakugou’s back into his own chest. Firmly securing Bakugou against him with one arm, Kiri used his free hand to skitter his fingers all over Bakugou’s tummy, causing the sweetest, most out of character giggles to spill from the blondes lips without restraint. Normally he was able to resist such light tickles, but it was late and he was too tired to try or care. Soft, easy laughter bubbled up from his core and poured out of his mouth without protest as he threw his head back on Kirishima’s shoulder and grabbed desperately at his hands, despite putting no force into actually pushing them away. Naturally, Kirishima noticed.

“Aww is the super manly King Explosion Murder not strong enough to push me off? Or is he having too much fun to even try?” Bakugou could only shake his head and giggle in response. Because he WAS having fun. It felt good, to laugh like this. To be tickled and teased and so thoroughly messed with. It felt good to know that someone cared about, no, LOVED him enough to want to fuck with him like this. He kept up a tough facade, and he was slow to trust, but with Kirishima he felt SAFE and LOVED. And he knew he could love THIS, with HIM, without judgement. And GOD it felt good. He let his giggles grow without resistance, reveling in the feeling of laughter and being teased like this.

“Careful, love. Don’t wake our classmates” Kirishima chucked directly into Bakugou’s ear, careful to make sure his breath alone tickled.

Seeming to have forgotten they weren’t entirely alone, Bakugou quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, attempting to muffle the sweet giggles he couldn’t even attempt to stop from streaming out of him. That’s when he felt treacherous fingers slip under his thin sleep shirt, the scribbling on his bare skin somehow WORLDS better worse. Kirishimas delicate fingers scratched and scraped at Bakugou’s soft skin, occasionally digging into the toned muscle underneath. They were like spiders, softly reeling in their prey for the taking. And Kirishima, that godsend asshole, was definitely taking. Kirishima’s dangerous hands traveled up and down Bakugou’s torso, tickling from his hips all the way to the top of his ribs, occasionally even dipping into his underarms. Bakugou grabbed a nearby pillow and threw his face into it in a desperate attempt to muffle his soft laughter. When he felt one devious finger swirl into his navel, he felt himself double over in a failed attempt to curl up, still held firm in Kirishima’s embrace. His mind was alight with the buzz of nothingness, unable to comprehend anything besides the feeling of Kirishima against his back, the safe arm around his waist, and the gentle tickles crawling over every inch of skin they could reach. Sensing his boyfriend was reaching his limit, Kirishima slowed his tickles down until he was just gently rubbing away all the ghost tickles, before pulling Bakugou even further into him, carding his fingers through Bakugou’s hair, and whispering sweet praises in his ear. He kept this up until Bakugou drifted off to sleep, cheeks still dusted pink and a soft smile still tugging at his lips, body still curled around Kirishima’s arm. Kirishima himself wasn’t awake to enjoy the sight for much longer.

[moxxis-bar]

I think something platonic with the Calypsos would be cool! Maybe you all became friends on the ECHOnet as kids before they started streaming?

Internet Friends

Platonic Calypso Twins x Gender Neutral Reader

I’m so sorry it took me forever to write this! I’m a dummy who’s bad at time management. It wasn’t specified if this was a oneshot or headcanons, so I just wrote a oneshot, but I liked how this turned out so I might come back and write another part for this. I don’t remember if the Calypsos had access to the ECHOnet as kids since it’s been a minute since I’ve played through Borderlands 3, but we’re just going to assume they did lol

Content: Platonic fic, takes place before the events of Borderlands 3

SPOILER WARNING! Slight spoilers for Borderlands 3 and the Calypso Twins’ backstories.

Your phone couldn’t seem to stop vibrating because of the sudden influx of messages from two of your internet friends, a set of twins who looked to the ECHOnet to save them from the boredom of their lives, at least, that’s what they told you. You spent an amount of your time online, talking to them about everything there was to talk about, and they kept in touch with you often, creating a group chat between the three of you to talk in.

‘hey’

‘hey’

‘hey’

‘heyyyyyyyyy’

‘u should get online’

‘nd settle a fight between me n troy’

‘bc this idiot thinks pineapple belongs on pizza’

Tyreen blew up your Echo Device as she often did, desperate to get your attention. The heavy hand unit never seemed to stop buzzing, even as you picked it up, only now you were being bombarded by both twins.

‘ty is a LIAR’ 

‘that is NOT what we were fighting abt’

‘and my pizza opinions have NOTHING to do with this’

‘I SWEAR SHES LYING’

‘plz get on’

‘i need another voice of reason’

This was a very common occurrence, you can’t even begin to count the number of times you’ve been dragged into their weird arguments with absolutely zero context, but it was always fun to watch how passionate they were about these weird disagreements. Ready to join in and get some context, you typed into the group chat you shared with the twins.

‘whats this abt troy liking pineapple on pizza?’

It only took a few seconds for Troy to respond, Tyreen following shortly after.

'‘THATS NOT WHAT I SAID TY IS LYING TO YOU’

‘nuh uh he totally said that’

‘did not’

‘ok he basically said that’

‘basically and totally arent the same thing’

The conversation was taken over by Troy and Tyreen again until you typed back.

‘wait ok so what did troy say?’

‘all i said was that pineapple on pizza can still be valid if you dont like it’

Tyreen was quick to respond, excited by what she assumed was an admission from Troy.

‘y’know who would say that? people who like pineapple on pizza’

‘I NEVER SAID I LIKE IT I JUST SAID ITS VALID’

‘HOW IS IT VALID???? IT’S AN ABOMINATION TO PIZZA’

‘LISTEN SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE A BIT OF SWEETNESS TO THEIR PIZZA’

‘ARE YOU SEEING THIS (Y/N)??? IM TELLING YOU HE LIKES PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA’

The chat continued to be flooded with messages of Tyreen accusing Troy of liking pineapple on pizza, while Troy tried his best to explain himself, though you weren’t really sure if he was desperate to make Tyreen believe him, or if he was actually hiding the possibility of him liking pineapple on pizza. The world may never know.

‘whenever we meet up we gotta get troy some pineapple pizza and settle this’

‘YESSS THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA’

Tyreen typed back excitedly, loving the suggestion, much to Troy’s chagrin you assumed.

‘im not eating pineapple on pizza for you weirdos’

‘besides’

‘even if i would’

‘its not like dad would ever let us go see you’

‘he definitely wouldn’t let you come see us either’

‘not like you could find us anyhow’

Oh. That’s right. You’d nearly forgotten. They’d mentioned before that their dad refused to let them go out. Something about him being super protective of them. Well, even if it wasn’t possible, it was a fun idea to imagine, spending actual, in-person, time with the twins. You would be able to see them face-to-face and fulfill all the other weird plans that stemmed from the strange but fun conversations you had with the twins. They’d told you that it was unrealistic to ever actually see each other, but you still held on to that slight hope that maybe one day you’d be able to finally meet them.

Tyreen texted back.

‘ugh thats right’

‘mannnn’

‘its not like he can actually keep us here all our lives’

‘even if he tried’

‘he won’t be able to stop us >:)’

‘we’ll be so sneaky nd run away’

‘and then we’ll come see u’

‘waddya think troy?’

‘i guess…’

‘but i do wanna see (y/n)’

Tyreen was often playful when she talked with you and Troy, but you wondered if any part of her was serious about that. About running away from her father with Troy. Your thoughts were interrupted as your ECHO device vibrated once again, this time a message from Troy.

‘OH UR NEVER GONNA BELIEVE WHAT TYREEN DID LAST NIGHT’

‘SO SHE GOT UP LAST NIGHT CAUSE SHE GOT HUNGRY’

‘AND’

‘TROY DON’T YOU DARE FINISH THAT STORY’

[allfandomstan]

After Dark~(Batman x Vigilante reader), Chapter 2.

Read Chapter 1! Find it on my ‘posts’..

Genre: Action, Mystery, Crime, Noir.

Setting: The Iceberg Lounge from ‘The Batman’ 2022.

Warnings: Swearing, minor sexual harassment, minor violence, mention of adult themes, dark themes.

Word count: 4.6k

Author Notes: Hi guys, its me again! Back with another chap!! I was dying to get this one done cuz I’ve procrastinated enough😫…Anyways, this is kinda a chill chapter compared to the last one(Vengeance and reader get to know eachother a bit) and I hope you enjoy! Pls let me know what you guys think.

****

You were currently in your apartment, going through the events from the previous night. You just witnessed a high-scale murder of Gotham’s very own Mayor to be exact.

And you also ran into him..

You were still in your home clothes which was just an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts. You were slumped on the living room couch with a tub of instant noodles in hand. Quick fixes had to do. You wrote down the events from the previous night into your diary, the one you keep for your work. This way it allows you to recollect vital moments and distinguish key information you may need later. You had to force yourself to remember..

You kept writing and recollecting when you heard a loud buzz come from your burner phone. Putting down your pen slowly, you curiously picked up the phone.

The message came from an unknown number. Wait..

That must be him.

So, He did notice the tiny piece of paper that you slyly slid into the side of his belt after all?

Grinning you open up the message…

“It’s me”

Your grin widened upon the realisation that it was actually him. He actually bothered to contact you.  Well, why wouldn’t he?

You start typing slowly.

You just have to hold your ground when it comes to him. You can’t risk giving away too much information.. Even though he probably did a whole-ass background check on you already.

“Who’s me?”, you respond back mockingly, even though you already knew who it was. Not a minute was wasted, as he responded right after:

“You know who it is”…

“Do I really?”

You chuckled to yourself at the way you teased him. Alright, maybe you should stop.

“Alright, alright I got you Bat”.

You gave up joking around and got down to business. Inhaling deeply, you ask:

“What do you want?”

“I want to see you”.

Ok, now you figured he was genuinely interested. Or maybe just curious.

“Why?”, you type, aiming to get a reason out of him even though you knew already. You had to admit, you wanted to hear it come from him.

“Because of what you said.. about cooperation. And because I know what you saw.”

“And?”

“And maybe we can get somewhere with it?”

Wow, he caught on rather fast. The little giving your number trick did work well, and it worked almost instantly. Shit, it worked like that most of the time when it came to men.

“Fine… where?”

Now this was getting serious. He wanted to see you again and you know he meant business. Well, so do you. ‘Was he gong to interrogate you even further or was he going to cooperate?’

Uncertainty filled you to the very core but you couldn’t miss the chance you get to know him even more. Not that you knew very much about him to begin with. You always wondered who the man behind the mask was.

‘Who was this caped crusader that head been haunting the nights of Gotham for the past two years?’

‘Who was he under there?’

‘What were his motives?’

‘Why did he love this godforsaken city so much?’

‘Why does he want to protect it?’

Oh what you would do to find out. The curiosity bubbling inside you must be subdued, but it only will when you find the truth. But you had to be patient. Couldn’t get too nosy or he just might shut you out completely and maybe call this whole thing off. Without pondering much further you decided to keep engaged in the conversation:

“Oh are you sure about that?”

“Yes”

“Fine, but where can we possibly meet up?”

“The Iceberg”

Ok, hold the fuck on right now. He wanted to meet up with you in the Iceberg Lounge? Where all the fucking crackheads, crime lords and corrupt cops go to? Shit, that’s the sketchiest place in Gotham. Or even the planet, in your opinion. But nevertheless, that place hit too close to home.. Way too close. And that’s exactly why you hated it.

“You want to meet up in the goddamn Iceberg Lounge?”

“Yes. I got some things to deal with”

“What things?”

“That’s none of your business”.

To be honest, when he put it that way you kind of knew what he was talking about. C’mon you knew that place way too well..

“It’s the Penguin, right?”. You waited for him to respond. He must be baffled. You were able to read right through him…

After a minute, he responds with:

“Like I said, that’s none of your business”.

Heh, how rude. But you didn’t blame him though. Anyone who came to deal with the Penguin had to keep it incognito.

“Fine”, you respond. You knew there was no use in trying to interrogate him. He just won’t budge.

“See you there at 9”

“Umm, where exactly?”

“The 44 below”

“Shit, you want me to venture into danger zone?. Damn, I won’t even be surprised if I were to be murdered in there. And besides, you’ll just walk into the 44?

“Just do as I say”

“You really don’t care what happens to me, don’t you sweetie?”

“Just.. trust me”.

****

Back at his cave, Bruce was watching you. He was watching what happened the previous night on his big computer, after attaching his eye lens to the flash drive. He was watching through what he saw with his own eyes. His eyes scanned your face seeking recognition, but he received nothing. He certainly haven’t seen you around and definitely not once in the two years he served as Batman.

‘Who was this mysterious woman and what did she want?’

He let his eyes wander over your features, letting his gaze linger a little longer. He took note of your eyes and how they had a beautiful darkness in them, very much like his own. You were clearly angry, hurt and disturbed in some way like him. But nevertheless, he found you quite beautiful, and he didn’t want to admit it. He let his eyes wander over your fierce eyes, your little pointed nose, your blush cheeks and your defined jawline. And then he caught sight of your lips. They were lush, plumped and a deep maroon in colour. They looked soft…

Shit. He was getting carried away.

“Stop It Bruce!”, he mutters to himself, frustrated because he was getting distracted by this woman who he doesn’t even know the name of..

“Is that a friend I see?”

upon the realisation of his butler in the room, Bruce whips his head around frantically, glaring at Alfred. “I didn’t see you there”

“And I didn’t see her before. Who is she?”

Bruce lets out a heavy exhale, clearly irritated by Alfred’s intrusion.

“I don’t know”, he responds, voice filled with hesitancy. The butler gave Bruce a long, searching look. “If you want to invite her over for tea or something I-“, Alfred was cut off by Bruce.

“It’s not like that, she’s not a friend”.

Cutting off all of Alfred’s suspicions. Well, at least now he’s clear. “Oh well, okay”, Alfred said, looking down at the dark, tiled floor.

“You really shouldn’t sneak up on me like that”, Bruce said eyeing the butler.

“And you shouldn’t be caved up in this God forsaken terminal all day. You missed breakfast.”

Bruce let out a long and heavy sigh, indicating he was no longer interested in this conversation. “Alfred.. It’s what I do-“

“And It’s taking a toll on you!”, Alfred said out of pure frustration and concern.

“Alfred please..You’re not my Father”.

Fuck.. That wasn’t meant to come out like that. Yeah, the sleepless nights were really starting to take a toll on him. The butler just stared at him, wide-eyed and obviously a little hurt. But despite Bruce’s shockingly true statement, Alfred just responds with: “ Yes, that is very much understood”. By his strained voice, Bruce could very much understand that he has hurt Alfred. He’s gonna have to make up for it later. “Alfred, I-“

“No, no I insist. You carry on with your.. work”.

And with that, Alfred walks off to the elevator to leave. He spares Bruce one last glance over the shoulder and says:

“Hopefully we’ll see each other for dinner”…

Bruce lets out a heavy sigh. Again. Was his life really this dark and gloomy? He really needed to improve on his relationships, especially with the only family he had..

****

You stood outside the Iceberg Lounge, waiting to get in. You were standing in the queue for the club, which was filled with random civilians, most probably druggies and alcoholics who can’t get their life together. Here you were wearing a crimson red strapless corset top, with a black, tight mini skirt that showed off your curves spectacularly. You were wearing sky high black heels, and carried a elegant red handbag to carry your things in, including the little knife that you took with you everywhere. It had become a habit.. And it was part of your identity now. Besides, one can’t be too careful in a city like Gotham…

You had your hair down and styled to the side, and you had the perfect makeup for the occasion. Some smoky eyes and red lipstick did the job perfectly. It worked for the appeal. A little too well..

“Hey baby”.

A tall, lanky man with several golden teeth approached you. He smelt of cigarettes and weed. “Hey”, you say, trying to sound bored and aloof clearly not interested in further conversation. “You look nice tonight.. You single?” He snickered flirtatiously at the last line, inching closer to you. You could feel his hot cigar smelling breath on your face. It was sickening.

You moved back a bit, disgusted by the man’s advances. “Umm, no..”

You knew it was a lie, but you hoped it would falter his disgusting intentions ever so slightly. But you were wrong..

He hungrily eyed you up and down, his gaze penetrating your body and scanning over your features and curves, especially your ass. “Well that’s an awful shame.. I mean whoever that lucky bastard is, I envy him.. or her”. He let out a low chuckle.

“Heh, thanks for the compliment”.

“No problem, princess”.

you turned away from him, trying to put a stop to the conversation but then you felt a calloused hand grabbing your forearm. “And hey if you uh, ever feel lonely or just wanna have some fun.. Come over to Daddy, I’ll be right there waiting for you”.

You glared up at him, annoyed. Did this fucker not get the hint?

“Umm, thanks but I think I’m fine-“

“Oh are you sure, honey? You look like you could use some-“

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure thanks”..

You were now starting to lose patience with this guy. His grip on your arm grew ever so slightly.

You tried to yank your arm away but he wouldn’t let you. He grabbed on even tighter.

“Woah, woah, woah.. What’s the hurry for sweetheart?”

Grabbing your forearm, he brought you closer to him. His hand reached for your ass-

“Don’t touch me asshole!”

you tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t let go of your arm. As retaliation, his hand went up behind you to slap your bottom. He wanted to provoke you even further.

“What’s wrong babe? No one’s gotta find out!”. His voice was laced with pure cockiness.

With one swift move of your free hand, you punched the guy in the face. Instantly blood started leaking from the man’s nose, dripping down his mouth and chin and onto his brown leather jacket. Oof, that must’ve hurt. And that is what you intended, anyways.

“You little slut!”, screeched the man and lunged toward you. His hand latched onto your throat. “Listen here you-“

A hard slap right to the face was all he received from you.

He stumbled back, bumping into another man.

“Oi, watch were you’re going mate!”

Annoyed, the man pushed your attacker back. A fight ensued between them and all you could hear was yelling and shouting.

A crowd was beginning to form, encouraging the fight.

“Finish him!” “Take his eyes out!!” “C’mon dude, you can do it!”

You didn’t know who the crowd was rooting for but you didn’t want to stick around and find out. You just wanted to get into the nightclub and get your job done with. You’d much rather be with Vengeance than with these nut jobs.

You used the distraction as the perfect opportunity to cut ahead of people and get into the Lounge. There wasn’t a proper line anymore, as everyone was dispersed and running to get into the crowd to get a better look. “Losers”, you mumbled to yourself as you walked forward, towards the entrance of the Lounge. There you met two bouncers, who were clearly identical twins… Shit.. Not them again.

One of them caught sight of you walking up, and eyed you closely..

“Hey lady, you know what’s going on back there?”

“Nothing, just two dickheads getting it on”, you respond coolly, as if you totally didn’t cause the fight.

“Ahh ok.. Well then, what are you here for, ma’m?”

He eyed you up and down suspiciously.

“To have a good time like everyone else, obviously”, you say fluttering your lashes.

“She’s lying”, whispers the other twin into his ear.

“Yeah, you seem kinda fishy lady”.

You arch your brow. “Well, why?”

“Fuck I dunno, maybe cuz you’re the only one who didn’t run to join the crowd”

“Oh c’mon, why the fuck would I wanna see that?”

“Because you caused it?”

“Yeah, she caused it!” whispers the other twin a bit too loudly that you wondered why he even bothered to whisper. After what seemed like ages pass by, you were starting to get pretty restless. You had to make up an efficient lie that’ll convince these two bozos to let you in.. And Bingo. You knew exactly what to say.

You walked closer to them, slowly.. Lowering your voice to a sultry timbre, you say: “Hey, you wanna know something?”

The twins look at each other confused. One nods for you to continue.

“I’m actually here for Oz”.

“Here for Oz?”

“Yeah I’m here for him, if you know what I mean”, you chuckle playfully, fluttering your lashes.

They go still, trying to process what you said. You gave them a minute because you knew they were known to be a bit retarded.

“Ohhh” one of them speaks up after an eternity of thought. You fidget around, twirling your hair and fluttering your lashes. “Alright, sorry ma’m we didn’t know you were-“

“Oh it’s fine, it’s just that Oz doesn’t like his sessions delayed”, you chuckle.

“Yeah umm, come on right in”. One of them hastily holds the door open for you, consumed with guilt.

“Thanks boys!”.

****

“One martini coming right up!”, chirped the bartender rather gleefully. Damn, she was an awful lot positive for a Gothamer, it kind of creeped you out.

You were inside the club, after lying about being the Penguin’s prostitute which was fucking sadistic, but it served you good, nevertheless.

‘Where the hell is he?’. You were here for about 20 minutes and you were starting to get restless..

you suddenly heard loud screams and curses escaping people’s mouths.

“Get him!”

“Don’t let him fucking escape!!”.

you whipped your head around frantically to see what was causing all the commotion. You saw a black, armoured figure running around and beating the absolute shit out of people. Oh. That’s what he meant when he said he’ll meet you at the 44. Fucking lunatic.

He took the men down, one by one with such ease and grace. How did he fucking move like that? Especially in heavy plated armour? The man had to be some kind of combat God.

You see him abruptly come to a stop once he sees a round, plump man in front of him. Which was none other than Oswald fucking Cobblepot, a.k.a the notorious Penguin.

A conversation happens between them and then Vengeance heads up with Penguin to his dorm. You supposed it had to do with whatever he had to ‘deal’ with.

****

“I’m on the roof”

“How the hell am I supposed to get up there?”

“There’s stairs at the very back”.

Sighing, you walk towards the exit. Whatever dealings Batman was conducting in Cobblepot’s dorm was now dealt with and now he wanted to see you.

You exited the building and now the cold, night air stung you. It was so much different from the hot, moist and suffocating atmosphere inside the Lounge. You walked to the back of the building to find a long stairway which led to the roof of the building. This was going to be a pain in the ass, especially with heels.

Taking in a deep breath to soothe your nerves, you started going up the set of stairs. You climbed slowly up the stairs thinking about what you wanted to gain from the little meeting with Batman.

Once you reached the top, you slowly walked in, looking around yourself for any signs of human presence. He was nowhere to be seen. Where was he?

“Hello?”, you called out, hoping to get some form of response.

You looked around impatiently. The cold chilly air was getting to you, and you were underdressed for the weather. It was probably going to rain soon.

Letting out an irritated groan, you pull out your burner phone and start typing.

“Where are you for God’s sake?”

Just as you were about press send, you were startled by a voice talking to you.

“You actually came”.

You almost jumped out of your skin. It was him..

Whipping your head around frantically, you send him a panicked glare. You took a moment to take a deep breath and compose yourself before saying:

“Jesus Christ. You really know how to sneak up on girls in the dark”.

“Yeah.. I do”.

He walks closer to the light, out of the shadows and now you see him fully in view. He was still towering over you by a couple fucking feet. “So?”, You ask trying to get to the point.

“You never told me the truth about why you were at Mitchell’s house”

“Oh, I don’t think we need to go there”, you stated.

He gives you a hard stare, calculating and inspecting.

“What? You said our meeting was conclusion based, not a freaking interrogation!. How’d you feel if I asked why you’re doing all this?”, you rant.

He lets out a heavy exhale, and glares at you.

“Exactly, that’s what I thought”, you say crossing your arms over your chest. Bruce knew you were one stubborn bitch, so he decided to get to the questions about your choice of actions later..

“What do you know about him? What’d you see?”

"What do I get from you in return?"

You wanted to know what it had in it for you. There was no way you were simply going to ‘give’ him the info.

He took a step towards you, eyeing you menacingly.

He scoffs.

"I'll make sure not to hand you in to the cops".

"aww, what a pity.. You're threatening me?"

"What if I am?"…

A long pause ensued after that.

Sighing, you decided to make a choice fast. What if you ask him directly if you could work on the case with him? It'd save a lot of time to just get to the point than trying to play mind games with this guy.

"If I tell you.. Will you let me work on the case with you undercover?"

He froze on the spot. ‘Did you take it too far?’ You didn’t care as long as it triggered some kind of outcome. You were getting tired just beating around the bush. After a minute of silence he spoke up, voice hesitant and cautious:

"It all depends on what your motives are.. So you're gonna have to answer my questions".

Damn it.. This again.

"Listen, I'm not just some creep trying to get info off the case so I could mishandle it. I'm trying to solve this case because I don't want this dick bag running around and doing the same to other people. Whoever did this, deserves to suffer.. And I will make them pay". Your voice was low and filled with hatred.

"Why do you bother?"

"I could ask the same for you"

"Don't try to dodge my questions!"

He grabbed you by the forearm to bring you closer to him so he can look straight into your eyes.

"I wanna know why a woman spies on Mitchell one day, witnesses his murder and then wants to avenge him so badly!"

"I don't give a fuck about that corrupt asshole!" you spit, your voice seething with venom.

"Then why?!"

"Because, this killer doesn't deserve no mercy!!"...

You yank your arm out of his grasp and take a step back, angrily.

"He doesn't deserve to take the lives of other people.. He can't have that power".

You looked down at the floor trying not to lose your cool. You held back the tears that were forming in your eyes.

Bruce stood still for a second, frozen in place. You looked broken.. You looked like you had the same reason he had and you wanted to unleash vengeance on those who did the wrong. You were trapped in your own hysteria of revenge.. Much like him.

He looked down, not knowing what to say.

"It's alright you don't gotta be sorry", you say sarcastically, wiping a tear that was threatening to spill.

It looked like he was empathising with you because of his sudden lack of aggressiveness. He was docile, and willing to listen further in hopes you'd reveal your story. But you just couldn't give in. Not now anyways.

Bruce took a moment to recollect his thoughts and think. Whatever you were, villain or vigilante, you sure looked desperate to solve this case. On the plus side, you had witnessed a vital part of the crime. Maybe even the whole damn thing to be honest. You might prove to be very useful, so he can’t just let you go…

"Maybe you could work with me.. And my partner".

Bingo.

You'd just made him agree. In your own terms emotions were always stronger than intellect, no matter how irrational. But you just couldn't celebrate yet.. You didn't want to work with his 'partner'. Whoever the fuck he or she was(you were damn sure it was Gordon) you weren't interested in this 3rd party business.

"Heh, Honey no... I just want you alone. Let's just say I don't do threesomes".

As you said it, you stalked closer to him flirtatiously until you were able to stare at him in the eyes and asses his feelings. He didn't give into the temptations just yet.. Instead he took a step back clearly not wanting to engage in the flirting. When he finally regains his composure (after your little advance), he speaks up again, his voice low: "Whatever dealings you have with me, my partner knows.. Its either you stick around with him or you don't get involved at all".

“What is your partner? The freaking Pope?”, you say mockingly. Was Gordon really that important after all?

“You either go by my terms or you don’t stick around, it’s as simple as that”.

“Woah woah there, chill. If you wanna have your partner around you could, I’m not gonna bite your head off.. I’ll do anything to be with you even though it means we’ll have company”. You send him a wink after that comment.

He doesn’t look away irritated, but instead stares directly at you, eyes showing the slightest sign of fascination.. Damn, this always worked when it came to men. Always. Maybe you could keep it up? That’ll help you a lot in the long run. You also didn’t mind flirting with him because he wasn’t too bad himself..

But he wasn't done with you just yet..

Quickly he transitioned back to his intimidating demeanour and gave you a stern, hard look.

"But if I find out you're manipulating the case or screwing with the evidence, I’m calling this thing off”.

“Oh baby, me screwing with evidence? Please. Remember, I got your back and I’m not supposed to be betraying you?” Your tone was once again laced with cockiness, clearly irritating him.

“Yeah, I hope you won’t”, he said in a bland tone.

You scoffed at his rather blunt statement and smirked.

“And I look forward to working with you too, Bat”.

You eyed him up and down before finally settling in on his eyes. Once again you noticed with colour of them. A deep sea blue with tiny specks of marine-green. The shade stood out strikingly against the black of his eye paint. It looked beautifully ominous.. Your gaze moved down to the lower part of his face; You took in the sight of his sharp jaw and noticed the tiny stubble forming. Your gaze shifted again to look at his eyes.. Damn it, you couldn’t get enough of them.

“Are you just gonna let me stare?” You ask, arching a brow. Bruce didn’t say anything, instead just stared into your eyes, his gaze intense. What was it with this guy and talking? He only used words when absolutely necessary.. But his eyes expressed things more than words ever could. He was an intense man.

Breaking out of his trance, Batman took another step back. He titled his head down to look at the floor before he brought it back up to look at you..

“I’ll see you”

“Yeah.. Hopefully if this fucker decides to make an appearance again”.

The Bat signal was lit up in the sky tonight meaning he was needed. He couldn’t stick around long- he had places to be. After all, Gotham was a big city. Too big even for its own good.. That meant it was also a knife-up-the ass for the vigilante in front of you; The crime came back to haunt him every night, capturing his body, mind and soul and dragging him into the depths of its inner turmoil, much like the resentment that comes back to terrorise you, delving into your blood like an unwelcome parasite. You couldn’t help it.. That’s just the way you were.

“He’ll be back”, he said looking at the Bat symbol in the sky. “And if we’re lucky, we might have another high-profile victim on the way”. His voice was dark and gruff but a hint of resolve and enthusiasm was making its way through.

You hummed in agreement, your eyes also tuned in to the light up in the sky.

“We will see each other.. Again”, He said with conviction in his voice, sure that the sadistic killer will strike again. As he said that final statement, his gaze met yours, once again captivating you.

“Oh I suppose we will”, you smile..

“If you get anything, let me know”. He indicated to the burner phone still in your hand with his index finger.

“Oh yes, definitely”.

Another smile creeps its way onto you face.. You were actually going to work with him! The very masked vigilante that had been terrorising the nights of Gotham for the past two years. Wow.. You had gotten far.

And with that he walks towards the edge of the building.. As he stands on the edge, he gives you a look over his shoulder.

“I didn’t ask for your name”.

“Call me, Red”..

He gives you one last knowing look and nods, before turning to jump off the roof. You heard the sound of grappling hooks and you ran towards the edge..

He was gone. And once again you were left alone on the roof, with your thoughts racing…

***

[no-white-dress]

Icy 👀

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

OH WOAH that's a lot of questions

1 - I don't even know why I've liked her so much since I was a kid. If I remove the version of Icy I wrote, I love her because she has a sick design, extremely cool powers, and especially in books and comic canon she isn't entirely, hopelessly evil. There's room for growth and change and that's all I've ever wanted to see for her

2 - favorite canon thing... ok one has to be how she canonically tried to stop global warming. Did she give up and act like a spoiled vip when she realized she couldn’t make it? Yes. But she actually tried first.

7 - people are starting to draw her with loose hair and I live for it

9 - idk if it's my version of Icy I think she'd want a room of her own 🤭 but yeah if it's two separate rooms that's totally possible

12 - I have so many headcanons for Icy 😭 she is bi and polyamorous and she used to be a fairy as a kid and she loves loves loves magic and she's a bit of a nerd about it

15 - SUN&MOONS OBVIOUSLY aka Icy, Darius (toh) and Dave (winx oc) triad

16 - Icy and Valtor and Icy and any of the wizards of the Black Circle 💀 sorry y'all it's centuries of age gap, and even if you hc Valtor as the same age as the Company of Light, there's a huge power imbalance and I rarely if ever see valcy portrayed as the toxic relationship it would be considering canon

17 - BloomxIcy, it got old pretty quick for me. Some people are weird about it.

18 - I really love the Trix's relationship with each other. Poking fun at each other and even antagonizing each other at times, but always having each other's back at the end of the day

[galactic-pirates]

For the Writing-WIP ask game, 23 and 37, if you don't mind? 😊

23) Do you make your own wip covers?

Yup. It’s actually an ambition of mine to get good enough at drawing to be able to make all my book covers properly. Not there yet and I might never be but it’s a dream. Anyway for original novels I just do quick temp covers with a vaguely related royalty free stock image + text, nothing fancy. For fandom it depends I have done photo manips, I have done drawings, and for Sanctuary I did quite a few gifsets. I generally like to provide some kind of banner image to liven up the post whatever it is :)

37) Name a series you’ve abandoned writing

Ok I’m going to take the word ‘series’ loosely here. For the most part I am relatively good at finishing what I have started posting. Dredging my memory I think I have only abandoned 4 fanfics in my /cough 20+ years /cough. The first I was about 12 and it’s a very long story to explain. The second I was 19, it was a self-indulgent crossover and I wrote part 1 (it ended on a cliffhanger), but then I could not work out how to keep it going with the crossover element. It just failed the logic test of why everyone would still be included and so I posted all of my notes/thoughts as an epilogue (this was on ff.net) and gave up.

Where I start to feel guilty is with the more recent ones. I wrote for Once Upon a Time for a year or so and I really wanted people to like me, I wanted to feel included. So I jumped on every prompt going. My desperation could probably have been seen from space 🙄. Anyway I wrote two chapters of a rare… crossover pair (hard to explain anyelle quickly but basically that) and then I had so many WIPs in those days that it just constantly fell to the bottom of the pile and when I ran out of steam and stopped, it’s what was left undone. The other one I feel even more guilty about as I actually won a fandom award for it. That was called Painting Layers of Love, and the problem with that is I poured far too much of my own anxiety into one of the characters, and then obviously I wanted the character to be happy which meant dealing with their issues. Problem is I don’t know how to “fix it” as I can’t fix myself. So I stalled as I couldn’t see a way out and eventually just officially abandoned it /guilt /guilt.

For original novels… I struggle with the ‘abandoned’ part because I might go back to it, or I will cannibalise it and use parts elsewhere. I mean sure technically there is a series. I actually indie published Book One. I thought I had been so sensible as I had waited until I had drafted Book Two but I was behind and it was only a first draft. I should have had it fully ready, and if I had waited I would have known, but I had booked promotions and so couldn’t delay. Anyway when I went to revise Book Two it just fell apart. I tried redrafting it from scratch but I could just not make it work. Fortunately nobody had been all that interested and so I took Book One down quietly and decided to chalk it up to experience. I later indie published the first two novels in another series and had to also take them down (this time due to a mental breakdown) buuut that’s another story. And that series really isn’t abandoned as I do intend to fix it up and republish eventually. But yes I suppose the time travel crime series is abandoned. I get nostalgic for it but I don’t know that I will pick it up again. Never say never of course. But my original ideas are many (I could write solidly for a decade and not be done) so it’s not like I need to go back to it.

Thanks for the ask ❤️

[captainexplody]

Spoons

Spongey Fingersmith barges into the doctor’s office. He’s a reckless one, that Spongey. Well I don’t know if that’s strictly true, he’s actually kind of boring, that Spongey. Anyway it doesn’t matter what he is or how he’s perceived right now, that’s not what this story is about. Stop hijacking the story, alright?! Anyway so here we go, Spongey Fingersmith barges into the doctor’s office. The doctor looks up from her (ha, I bet you thought it was a male doctor, but nope! This is the real world, son) important documents that she’s looking over, an eyebrow raised over the top of her glasses.

Spongey Fingersmith: Hi Doc! I need help!

The doctor stares at Spongey carefully, before she slowly pulls her glasses from her face, folds them neatly together and places them on the table in front of her.

Doctor Faustas: How did you get in here?

Spongey Fingersmith: I used the door, dummy!

Doctor Faustas: Ok I understand the concept of entering a room, thank you very much. When I asked you how you got in here, I was referring more to the idea of you entering my office without having previously making an appointment. I’m a very busy doctor, you see. This isn’t even the room I diagnose people in, this is my actual office. The doctor’s surgery is downstairs. 

Spongey Fingersmith: It can’t wait, Octo!

Doctor Faustas: Most people abbreviate ‘Doctor’ to ‘Doc’, saying ‘Octo’ makes it seem as if you are referring to me as an octopus.

Spongey Fingersmith: Huh? That doesn’t make any sense, I can clearly see that you are a human and not an octopus, so me saying ‘octo’ in a light hearted manner, given the context of only you and I being in this room and having nothing else to reference an ‘octo’ as, I think it’s pretty clear what I meant.

The doctor rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands.

Doctor Faustas: What can I help you with? Make it as quick and painless as possible, please.

Spongey Fingersmith sits down on the chair opposite the doctor, wrapping one of his legs over the top of the other, if you can even imagine such a thing.

Spongey Fingersmith: Alright Ctor, here’s my problem. Here’s the deal. You ever hear of the Guinness Book of World Records?

The doctor sighs very audibly. Whatever is about to happen, she’s determined she won’t like it.

Doctor Faustas: Yes I’ve heard of the Guinness Book of World Records.

Spongey Fingersmith: Alright, well here’s the deal. I’ve got an incurable case of death disease, which means I’m going to die at some point. Can’t be helped. You and your quack friends couldn’t do anything about the fact that I’m going to die at some point, and honestly that’s pretty pathetic. You guys call yourselves doctors. Anyway that’s beside the point, the point is, if I’m going to die I want to be remembered some day. Now I could be remembered for doing something good, something positive, something like building two hospitals with my bare hands or sucking all the bad gas out of the atmosphere. Something like that. Yeah I could do that, sure, but nobody really remembers those guys. What’s the name of the 5th guy on the moon? Who cares. What’s the name of the guy who invented the milking machine? Nobody knows. 

Spongey Fingersmith pulls a copy of the Guinness Book of World Records out from nowhere and places it on the desk in front of the doctor. 

Spongey Fingersmith: But inside this book, you can live forever. Inside this book you can be remembered for all time. See, there’s all sorts of names in here, and they’ll exist forever because someone wrote them all down. Every year this book is sold, with only a few minor variations. What’s the difference between this years copy of the Guinness Book of World Records and last years, I ask you? Probably very little. Some records come and go, but some records last a lifetime. Some records are impossible to be beaten, and those men exist as Gods within this mighty tomb.

Spongey randomly opens the book and points at one of the records. The doctor puts her glasses on, down to the edge of her nose as she peers at the book. The record he happens to be pointing to is ‘Hardest Kick to the Groin’. She takes her glasses off again and places them on the table beside the book.

Doctor Faustas: This is the record you wish to break?

Spongey Fingersmith: No. The chances of me randomly selecting the actual record I wish to break are astronomically low. Let me just double check though...

Spongey looks down and you can see his eyes dance across every word as he slowly reads what random world record he has pointed to. Eventually he pulls his finger back and looks up at the doctor solemnly.

Spongey Fingersmith: No that is not at all the record I wish to break. Although...

Spongey Fingersmith raises the tip of his index (finger) to his lips and thinks about it, before he shakes his head determinedly.

Spongey Fingersmith: No. No this is not the record I wish to break. The record I wish to break is...

Spongey Fingersmith picks up the Guinness Book of World Records book and starts flipping through the pages casually, trying to find a specific one. The doctor is clawing at her face with her fingers; most of those books have an index where you can easily find what you want to. After what feels like a painfully long time, Spongey places the open book down on the table again and points the tip of his index (finger) at one of the records.

Spongey Fingersmith: This one. Most spoons balanced on the face.

Doctor Faustas: I mean, to break that record it sounds like you would just need to have the biggest face.

Spongey Fingersmith: Exactly. Now my face is probably averaged sized, at best. However, I came up with an ingenious idea. If I can get facial surgery to put additional bumps and grooves on my face, I’ll be able to balance more spoons on my face, thus giving me the advantage.

The good doctor stares at Spongey Fingersmith through narrowed eyes.

Doctor Faustas: Ok let me get this straight real quick. You are proposing that I conduct facial reconstructive surgery on you, to add bumps and grooves to your face, in order for you to be able to balance more spoons on your face. You don’t want facial reconstructive surgery for aesthetic reasons, or for health reasons. You simply want me to add bumps to your face in order for you to be able to balance more spoons on your face, to break a world record that could easily be broken again should somebody be born with a bigger face than you?

Spongey Fingersmith: Correct. 

Doctor Faustas: No. Obviously no. No way.

Spongey Fingersmith reaches into his pocket and pulls out an incredibly large wad of cash, placing it down on the table in front of the doctor, spreading the bills around calmly.

Spongey Fingersmith: How about for one million dollars?

The doctor looks at the money, and then looks up at Spongey Fingersmith. Yeah sure why not? A million bucks is a million bucks. Who needs morals when you can buy a Porsche? 

[stitched-mouth]

Teenagers: Young, Naive & Horny

Fandom: Harry Potter.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff! Fem! Reader.

Format: Short Fic.

Type: Fluff with hint of nsfw.

Word Count: Idk.

Writing Time: 2 hours.

Warning(s): Hint of nsfw (but not that deep).

Summary: Draco gets a little too excited when dancing with you at the Yule Ball.

A/N:

I wrote this just to get back into writing. I’m sorry for being away for so long. Also I’m suddenly really into Draco Malfoy again.

I do have ideas for a part two but I only plan on writing something if you guys want it. Part two would likely be a smut, but I’m not sure yet.

THIS IS SET DURING THE YULE BALL (which is the Goblet of Fire I think)

Draco huffed as he stared at you. Even after quick looks every 5 minutes you still hadn’t noticed the boy staring at you from across the room.

Honestly how dare you not notice, Draco thought, you really couldn’t possibly not notice him staring whilst wearing that gown.

The gown you had picked out for the Yule ball was given to you by your grandmother who claimed it had good luck written on it as it was the same dress that caught your grandfather’s attention and made him ask her for a dance all those years ago.

Now it was your turn to be asked for a dance.

But you didn’t even know. Not when you was stuffing your face with chocolate and other sweets from the dessert table. Draco was starting to feel envious of the desserts as you seemed way more interested in them.

He finally decided to stop waiting for you to notice him (because you never was going to) and go up to you himself.

On the way towards you he was stopped by Pansy, but he walked passed her not even given her a lot. Draco knew that would cost him later (Pansy wouldn’t shut up about it tomorrow) but he didn’t really care right now.

As the platinum haired boy walked towards you he thought about what he was actually doing. He was going to ask a Hufflepuff to dance. Was he out of his mind? His father would certainly think so. The Hufflepuff girl was a known supporter and helper of the Golden trio.

You didn’t really hang out with them but they knew well and they knew you, and the four of you was on good terms. Say if they needed someone to keep watch for them while they were up to something, or a spell idea or really any help you were always to first to offer them a hand. A bit like Neville or Luna.

And boy, did Malfoy hate it. But he couldn’t help his attraction to you. He always found you fascinating and now he had to do something about it.

When he finally reached you, you looked up at him confused with your mouth full.

“Can I help you?” You asked, your sentence hard to understand due to the food in your mouth.

“Um…” Draco’s mind suddenly went blank and he became nervous. It was like he hadn’t planned this far ahead.

The silence wasn’t necessary awkward but it had definitely lasted too long for both of your liking.

“Nothing to say Malfoy? Ok..” You turned back to the sweets table.

“No! Um..would you like to dance?” Draco finally asked.

“You, the Slytherin Prince, want a dance with me?” You looked at him with a suspicious look.

“Yes.” Draco nodded and stuck out his hand.

You should be flattered Hufflepuff, Draco thought.

You stared at him for a few more seconds with your untrusting look. On the inside, you were feeling shocked and very flattered but you couldn’t let Malfoy know that. But you were still unsure.

Eventually you accepted his hand, “Ok…”

Draco pulled your up and lead you to the dance floor. On the way you made eye contact with the Golden trio and a few fellow Hufflepuffs, who all looked shocked and slightly betrayed as you passed them. You felt guilty for a second but quickly decided not you. You’d explain it to them later. They’d understand.

Draco found a spot on the dance floor and turned to face you. He awkwardly placed his hands on your waist, a bit too high up for your liking (it wasn’t really your waist, more like your middle) but you figured he was trying to be sensible or polite. You placed your hands on his shoulder and the two of you slowly began to sway.

You stared at each other intimately while both your bodies moved stiffly and nervously. You wished your body would moved the way you wanted it to. Draco did too, about his own body.

But alas you were both awkward teenagers who didn’t speak often or really like each other.

It made you wonder why you agreed to this dance. Maybe you were just like the other girls and couldn’t say no to Draco Malfoy? You really hoped you.

“Hey Draco?” You spoke up.

Draco was shocked to hear you fill the silence, “Yes?”

“You can…” You moved his hands lower down onto your hips, “See? That’s better.”

Draco felt his face heat up, “Oh ok.”

You continued swaying together. Draco prayed you couldn’t see his flushed face but unfortunately for him, you were right in front of him and the dim lighting wasn’t that fun at all. You could see the blush on his naturally pale face. It made you smile.

Towards the end of the song you noticed Hagrid and his new lover. Hagrid’s head was on her chest as they moved together and the two were clearly very happy together. So you stepped forward and laid your head on Draco’s chest and wrapped your arms around his middle. You didn’t realise how much taller he was until you did this.

Draco was shocked you had made such a move. So shocked it took a good 30 seconds for him to hold onto you back. If his face got get redder, it would. You hummed quietly as you continue moving together.

The boy looked down at you and suddenly felt emended fear. His pants got tight and he suddenly couldn’t moved. He prayed you wouldn’t look down or feel anything poking into you.

You looked up at Malfoy when he stopped moving, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing..I.. I just have to go.”

He suddenly let go of you and ran out of the Ballroom. You blinked shocked and felt a strong sadness.

What was that? He just left you on the dance floor, after asking YOU to dance.

You were heartbroken. You had no clue why he had just left you or that you had excited the poor boy too much.

Onlookers who knew EXACTLY why Draco had disappeared, felt sorry for the both of you. They all thought the same:

Teenager. Young, naive and horny.

It was a pity really, you thought as you felt your crotch burn, you was really enjoying that dance.

[hereforbords]

Need a little sweetness in my life

This is something self-indulgent that I wrote when I started my period this last weekend...not beta’d, so all errors are mine. Don’t know anyone, yadda yadda... :) Don’t like it, don’t read it.

TW: bleeding/periods (let me know if I need to tag it differently and I will)

Title stolen from “Sugar” by Maroon 5.

The stabbing pain woke you up. You let out a small whimper and quickly closed your mouth, hoping you hadn’t woken your boyfriend up (he’d gotten in late last night off the plane and you wanted him to sleep as much as possible). A quick look at the clock beside your bed told you it had been enough time since your last dose of meds, so you got up and made your way to the bathroom. You used the bathroom and grabbed the Midol. You threw them back with a sip of water and then went back to bed. Since he didn’t make any movements, you figured he was still asleep. You crawled back under the covers and slept as well.

In the morning, his side of the bed was empty. You didn’t hear the fire alarm going off, so you figured he wasn’t making breakfast (that was another story for another day). You sat up slowly, waiting for everything to right itself (the first day was always the worst). That’s when you saw the note on the table, along with the Gatorade and Midol bottle.

Went to the store. Be back in a few. Take these if you need them. Love you babygirl.

You couldn’t help the tears that sprang to your eyes (damn hormones). Of course, Bords chose that moment to come home. As he walked into the bedroom, he saw your face. “Hey, what’s going on honey? Why are you crying?” he came over to sit beside you and started rubbing your back. “It’s ok. I’m here.”

“You…” you hiccupped. “How did you know?” You couldn’t say what was really on your mind- I don’t deserve you.

He laughed a little. “Babygirl, I have a sister. I know all the tells. Plus, not to be rude, but you get kinda mean right beforehand.”

“I do not! You take that…” you started, only to stop yourself and laugh. “Ugh. Point taken.” You paused. “I didn’t wake you up last night, did I?”

“No.” he said. “I found the pill bottle on the bathroom counter this morning.” He reached behind him. “Here. I got you all your favorite things. I was thinking we could do a heating pad and couch cuddles? I’ll even watch one of those cheesy Lifetime movies you like so much if you want.”

That was when you said the words that had been on your mind. “What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?” That set off a fresh round of tears.

“You’re just you.” He said, suddenly realizing that you probably hadn’t had someone treat you so well before. “Come on, no more tears.” He reached out his hand. “Let’s go. Today’s all about you.”

Later, as you were snuggled together on the couch, him holding the heating pad against your stomach and said cheesy Lifetime movie on (because if he was willing to watch it without complaint, you were going to take full advantage of it), you said, “Thank you so much. This has been the best first day of a period I can remember in a long time.”

“You’re welcome. You want food from that place on 17th?” he asked.

“Yes please.” You grinned. “I love you.”

“Love you too babygirl.”

*

The next morning, things were a lot better and you didn’t feel like dying anymore. Thomas was gone when you woke up, but you knew he’d be back soon, so you started working on breakfast.

When he came in the door, the first thing he noticed was you over the stove, looking more like yourself today. He couldn’t help the grin that came over his face as he came over to wrap you in a hug from behind. “Good morning sunshine. Are we feeling better today?”

“Much. Thank you for yesterday,” you said, flipping the pancakes over. “You want bacon?”

“Yes please.” You threw a couple more pieces in the skillet (and fixed him with a look when he tried to steal a piece off your plate). “Alright, missy, I won’t steal your bacon.” he laughed. “No need to give me a death glare.”

“Sorry.” You laughed. “What are your plans for today?”

“Not too much. Have a little homework to do, and then was planning on taking it easy. Why?” he looked over to you.

“I was thinking,” you said, turning over his bacon, “I could take you out to a movie or something you wanted to do, since you took such good care of me yesterday.”

“You don’t have to do that.” He said. “I wasn’t doing it with the expectation of getting anything in return. I just wanted to take care of you.”

“I know,” you said, “and that’s a new feeling for me. I feel it’s only fair to return the favor.” You handed him his plate.

“You don’t…” he paused. Seeing you get that look on your face again, he knew this was one of those battles to not fight. You’d definitely have to talk about this later. “Alright, yeah, we can do that. You’ll tell me if it gets to be too much, right?”

“Of course.” You ate breakfast in a comfortable silence, and you went to shower while he worked on his homework. You were in the middle of a Rizzoli and Isles episode when he came down.

“Are you still up for that movie?” He asked, looking at you so comfortable on the couch. He almost felt bad for making you get up and move; he knew his sister liked to stay as comfortable as possible the first couple days. But he reminded himself that you had promised to tell him if things were too much.

“Yeah, let’s go.” You stood up. “Um, let me go use the bathroom real quick and then I’ll be good.”

The movie was good, but it definitely wore you out. When you got home, you changed into a pair of sweats and one of Thomas’ t-shirts and told him you were going to take a nap. “I know the boys wanted to come over. That’s fine as long as you aren’t too loud.”

“I can cancel if you want.” He said. “It’s fine.”

“No. You need your time with them too.” You said. “Have fun, ok?”

“Alright.” He shut your bedroom door and went back downstairs.

You were still semi-awake when the boys came in. You heard Matty ask where you were. When Bords said you had fought a shark (you had to hide your laughter into the pillow), Matty and Truss hummed a “oh”. (They had sisters too, so they were familiar with Bords meant). Briss just sounded confused, but said he hoped you were feeling better soon.

You dozed for a few, until a cramp woke you up. It was too soon for more meds, so you decided you would go down and see your boys. They would distract you for awhile.

“Hey.” Bords said as you came down and sat in his lap. “You ok? Were we too loud?”

“No. You guys were fine. Couldn’t really nap.” You said, grabbing his hand and putting it on the side where the cramping was worst. Bords understood what you needed and started rubbing at that area without you needing to use your words.

“Oh. I get it.” Briss said as he watched the interaction. You chuckled. “We can leave.”

“Stay.” You said, leaning into Bords’ side. After a while, you decided it was time to go back up to the room. You stood up to leave. “I’m ok. Sleepy now.” You looked at Bords.

“Cuddle pile?” Matty asked, hopeful. That was one of the things you guys had done when Bords was still living with Matty and Truss and you had a rough day. To be honest, you had missed it.

You raised an eyebrow at Bords, who nodded. “Yeah. Cuddle pile.” You said. “Briss, you’re more than welcome to join, but you have to be quiet.”

“I can do that.”

It took a little work (you had never done it with four people before, but it actually was a little better, because you could have a boy on each side of your abdomen, instead of just Bords on top of you covering both sides unequally. 

You fell asleep pretty quickly, and when you woke up, all the boys were passed out as well (and you didn’t miss the way Truss had his hand on Matty’s abdomen in a possessive type of way. You grinned-they had finally figured their shit out too it looked like.)

“Alright, boys, cuddle pile is over,” you said, getting up. “I’ll make you all dinner if you want to stay.”

“You want some help mom?” Matty asked, using the nickname he’d given you a long time ago.

“Sure thing. Set the table?” You asked. “Truss, you wanna help chop the veggies?”

“Yeah.” Truss was down the hall. It was just you, Briss, and Bords in the room.

“Mom?” Brendan asked. You found yourself explaining everything to him; when he asked, “can you adopt me too?” You looked at Bords.

“What do you say, dad? Think we can handle another one?”

“I can if you can.” He grinned.

“Alright, Briss, get over here.” You said. “Welcome to the family.”

“Thanks mom.”

When you told Matty and Truss that Briss was their new brother, you were expecting the whoops and cheers. You weren’t expecting Truss to throw a carrot at Briss though. You laughed, which made your side hurt a little. Bords came up to you and rubbed your side.

“Jacob! That’s no way to treat your brother.” Bords said. “You apologize right now.”

“Sorry.” Truss said.

“And Matty, don’t think I didn’t see you snickering over there.” You added, leaning into Bords just a little.

“Sorry mom.”

Dinner was nice, and then the boys went home and it was just you and Bords again. “Thank you.” He said.

“You’re welcome.” You paused. “Thank you for always taking care of me and knowing what I need. I love you.”

“You’re welcome. I love you too babygirl.”

[raenizza]

“20/20 Vision”

Roman Reigns x (Black) Reader Oneshot

Synopsis:

You’ve taken notice that Roman’s been squinting a lot lately and has become very worried about his vision. From reading menus to signs and billboards, it was all squinting. At first, it didn’t bother you, but as time passed, you noticed it happening more frequently, concerning you even more.

Word count: 843

Warnings: NONE!

A/N: I know I haven’t fed you guys in a while so here’s a quick little thing, I typed up this morning.

~~

“Baby, what are you doing?” you chuckled at him as you see him squinting at the menu in his hands. “I’m just tryna see what kind of sides they have for the steak,” he said in a low tone. Roman took a bit longer than you when ordering his meal. But you already knew what you were going to order hence that restaurant is famous for its shrimp tacos. “Well, let me see what they have here.” you said as you picked back up your menu and looked on the same page as he did. “Hmm mm, garlic butter mushrooms, mashed potatoes, roasted Broccolini, vegetables, sprouts, and red potatoes.” “I mean Everything looks really good here, what do you think?” He squinted at the long strip of paper in front of him, pretending as if he could see it.

But he knows deep down inside that, his ass can’t see shit. So to play everything safe, he ordered whatever side you blurted out to him. “I think I’ll just get the roasted potatoes and mushrooms.”

He glances up at you. “I know I’m taking forever, baby, I’m sorry. I just can't decide.” But we know that was not the case. He just could read the menu for nothing. “It’s fine, I know how indecisive you get when it comes to food.” But something was truly bothering you at that moment, you wanted him to know it too.

“Baby, can I ask you something?” You said after the waiter came in, took both of your orders, and left to go get the drinks. “Yea, what's up?” he responded looking back at you. “You know, I’ve noticed you’ve been squinting a lot lately, and…” you trailed off for a bit. “Anndddd???” he mocked.

“Well, let me ask you this, are you nearsighted or farsighted?” He looked up at you confused for a bit. “Baby I can see and read ok, if that’s what you’re worried about-” “No, I’m just making sure because you were squinting at the street signs on the way here and then at the menu” you cut him off briefly. You wanted to let him know that his ass was struggling and that you can see IT. “I can see you, I can see the family over there.” he pointed at the table on the other side of the restaurant. “I can see everything. It is not a big deal, stop worrying bout me, ok?”

You scoffed at his refusal towards you. So you decide to test his ass and pulled out a pen and notepad from your purse. “Ok, Mr. 20/20 vision.” You started small and wrote “D O G” big on the first page then held the notepad near the side of your face. Making it the perfect distance from him and you. “Can you see this?” you asked politely. ” “DOG! Duh.” he rolled his eyes. “Alright then” you upped the scale a notch and wrote “Farmhouse” on the second page, but in a much smaller size. “What about this one?”

He took a long minute to look and then there it was. The squinting. He slowly moved his head closer to see, but you noticed his movements so you moved the notepad further back past your ear. “Back it up, back it up, back it up!” you replied like that guy on TikTok. Roman scoffed at your response. “Why did you write it so tiny?” he complained. This confirmed that his ass was in need of some glasses.

“I did not! Ok” you protested. “Can you read it, though?” still pushing him to see if he could. He glanced at the word but still couldn’t make it out, it was just a blur. A bit of sadness poured into his eyes as he looked at the notepad and then looked back into yours. At that very moment, it hit you. “It’s ok, baby, I’ll schedule you an appointment with Optical Illusions.” you chuckled a bit changing the mood. You placed the notepad back inside of your purse and pulled out your phone. You glanced right back at him as he sighed in agreement. It was a brief silence for about 5 minutes until you sparked back up the conversation again.

“How come you never got your eyes checked?” you asked, softly. You placed your hand on top of his while he fiddled with the utensils on the table. “I just never had the time. I've been too busy.” He glanced outside the window as cars strolled by. “Well, now you do.” You responded with a smile. He looked back at you and grinned. Knowing that you care so much about him, warmed his heart to the fullest. He knew that you were doing the right thing and that when it all comes down to it, it's all just you expressing your love.

“Where the hell, our food at?” he shouted, shifting the conversation as he looked around the restaurant for the waiter. You laughed at his response and went back on your phone, continuing to schedule the appointment.

[justmeinadaze]

Inside of Her Head (Steve X You)

A/N: This is just a little thing I wrote real quick. I'm actually experiencing this right now with my brain going a mile a minute. I literally spent 15min telling my roommate I don't want her to leave my side because I'm afraid something is going to happen to her or she's going to leave. My therapist says that's my inner child...some stuff we've been working on *sigh*. But my roommate suggested I channel this energy into something creative and thus you get this...this is what I wold love rn. Steve just holding me till I calm down and then watching a movie with me till I fall asleep <3.

Warnings: Reader experiencing an anxiety (manic) attack; Steve helps her through it

Word Count: 803

Steve comes home from work to a spotless apartment and he’s immediately on edge. Most people would be happy to come home to a clean space but not for him. When the home is this organized, something is wrong. 

“Y/N, baby? Where are you?”

No one responds but he knows you’re here, promptly going on the hunt. It doesn’t take him long to find you sitting on the bathroom floor with your knees to your chin and your hands twirling your hair as your blank eyes disassociate through him. 

You two have prepared for moments like this; you warned him when he moved in. It still doesn’t take away the guilt that bubbles in your stomach when you finally notice him as he places himself on the floor cross-legged in front of you. 

“Hey, Stevie. When…When did you get home?”

“A couple of minutes ago.”, he answers softly as his eyes continue to scan you over. “How was your day, honey?”

Your hands shake in front of you as your fingers seem to drum the air, moving without any real thought as your anxious eyes sift through memories. 

“It was good. It was good. I-I-I cleaned. I had only meant to clean the kitchen but then I thought you would want to relax in the living room when you got home so I tidied up in there but then I noticed your movies were out of whack and I thought it would be fun to organize them buy genre for our next movie night. When I finished that, I was going to lay down and nap but I couldn’t stop thinking about how the bathroom has been really messy lately and you know how I’ve been slacking on that…”

Steve listened to your rambling with the patience of a saint. Your lips were moving a mile a minute but he didn’t need to follow everything to know what was going on. Some days your brain just wasn’t 100%. Some days the medicine didn’t always help or something triggered an episode for you that had you like this. 

You tried explaining it to him before but he never truly understood until he experienced one with you himself. You sobbed on the bedroom floor, crying about fears that he would never allow to happen. He didn’t know you during your trauma so he couldn’t be there for you then but he could definitely keep you safe now physically and emotionally. 

“Baby girl, look at me.”, he cooed as he placed his palms out for you to take, grinning when you did. “I want you to inhale for me. That’s my good girl…and exhale. Good.”, he soothed as his thumbs tenderly massaged your skin. 

“Everything got so loud, Steve. I couldn’t…”, you shook your head as the tears fell before he scooted a bit closer to where you were.

“What triggered it this time? Do you know?”

You shook your head again. 

“I just…had this voice in my head…that says I don’t deserve you. That you’re going to leave me here alone just like everyone else. Today…it was so loud…”

“It’s ok, sweetheart. Breathe in again for me…and out again. Good, pretty girl. You’re doing so good.”, he smiled as he reached up to caress your cheek before taking your hand again. “Y/N, I love you so much. I’ve never met another girl like you in my entire life. You are beautiful, sweet, so talented and so smart, baby. There’s no one in the world more perfect for me than you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Once your breathing had slowed, Steve collected you into his arms and held you to his chest as he kissed your forehead. 

“I’m sorry I’m such a nuisance. I don’t mean to be.”

“You’re not, honey, I promise. Your parents are the nuisances…making you think you aren’t enough. You are more than enough, baby. You’re everything to me and I’m always going to be here to take care of you.”

You two sat like that till your anxiety passed and you finally felt safe. After kissing his lips, he guided you into the shower where he cleaned you and washed your hair before putting you in your most comfortable pajamas and carrying you out onto the couch. 

“How about I make some dinner and we watch something EXTREMELY violent?”

You giggle as he widens his eyes and you nod. While he’s making dinner, he brings you your favorite drink and turns on one of the sitcoms that makes you laugh until everything is ready. 

“Steve. Thank you…for everything. I love you to, baby.”

Tilting his body to kiss your lips, he playfully rustles your hair and throws a blanket over your legs. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N. I’m always going to be here for you; good days and bad.”

[junko-and-riri-domain]

warm embraces & sudden kisses | ot7

↬ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader ↬ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: fluff | requested | drabbles/headcannons ↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: none ↬ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ: anon ↬ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ: “ENHA REACTION TO YOU KISSING THEM OUT OF NO WHERE OR JOW THE CUDDLE WITH YOU PLS AND THANK YOU 🙏” ↬ ᴀ/ɴ: 

since this is the 100th post on this blog I decided to do an ot7 one

simultaneously, this was a request so it worked out !!

anon said or but I decided to try & write both in here :$ so there’s kinda 2 mini scenarios for each member

also i wrote this on my phone in my notes while i was out today which is why everything’s lowercase :)

anon if you’d like me to rewrite this less as scenarios and more as bullet points just lmk!

Lee Heeseung

[a light’s on in the kitchen]

you wake up with the feeling of warmth no longer around you. looking around, you see that heeseung’s no longer in bed with you. your hand makes it way to your phone on your nightstand, 3:07 am greets your eyes and you hear faint sounds from outside the room. you get up with a yawn, the haze of sleepiness still on you as you make your way around the apartment the two of you share, a light’s on in the kitchen. he’s making ramen, you think to yourself. he stands tall by the stove, your footsteps are quiet as you hear him singing a song. when you get to him, your arms arm around his waist as he turns around to greet you, you jump up to give him a quick kiss, intending to meet his lips but because of how tall he is, your lips meet his cheek. he smiles, pulls you in closer to him, tilting up your chin but teases you by pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

[finally home]

you’re nestled up on the couch while a movie plays on the tv. today wasn’t a good day, to say the least. you woke up late which didn’t give you a chance to eat breakfast with heeseung, when you ordered lunch the fries were burnt and the food undercooked, and when you got home heeseung texted you to let you know that practice was running a little late which meant he wouldn’t get to have dinner with you. your eyes stayed settled on the tv until the sound of the apartment door greets your ears, bringing you out of that movie marathon haze you were trapped in. heeseung smiles as he sees you, makes his way to you, as he hands you a takeout bag.

“i bought some food on my way home, i’ll change and then we can eat, yeah?” he notices that you’re sad but doesn’t press you on about it. you nod, taking the bag from him. when he comes back, the two of you eat while a new movie is running. when you’ve finished all the food, his arm wraps around your shoulders and his head rests on top of yours.

“you ok?” he asks. his embrace is comforting and safe, similar to what it feels like when a blanket is draped over you just before you fall asleep.

“i am now that you’re finally home.”

rest of the boys under the cut !!

Park Jongseong / Jay

[flustered and red]

jay’s making dinner in the kitchen while you’re setting the table. you hear him chattering, more to himself than anything as he tries to make dinner the best that it can be. with how busy his schedule was and how much you’ve been swamped with your own work, the two of you haven’t had much time for each other. so, the you both having a free day today was something you were definitely going to take full advantage of. after setting the table, you head into the kitchen to see him slicing up lettuce for a last minute salad. you let out a smile as you see him make a honey based dressing and decided to surprise him by hugging him from behind. usually, he does it to you. despite his confident appearance and composure, you can already tell that he’s getting all flustered and red.

“Yah, who said you can sneak up on me like that!” he says, but makes no effort to pull away. You move so that you’re in front of him,

“If that’s how you react when I hug, how will you react when I do this?” Going on your tiptoes, your arms make their way around his neck as you feel the softness of his lips on yours. Guess honey was good as moisturizer…

[i built us a house]

jay was sitting in his gaming chair, his gaming set up in its own room while you were in the living room doing your own thing. while you were typing away on your laptop you hear your name being called, causing you to look up.

“i wanna show you something,” he said.

“i’m busy, hon,” you reply.

“real quick, i promise.” you sigh, knowing damn well jay wasn’t going to leave you alone until you went with him. so, following him into his game room he sat on his chair.

“why am i here?” you asked. he patted his lap, motioning for you to sit on him. as you did, one of his hands moves your hair to the other side while an arm stays settled on you. you can feel his breath on your neck, the butterflies in your stomach now doing somersaults.

“i built us a house.” your eyes look at the screen to see it on his minecraft server as his character walks around. you smile, turn your head so you’re looking at him,

“this is our house?”

“one day i’ll make it happen in real life.” despite the large promise, deep down you knew jay was going to find some way to make it a reality.

Sim Jaeyun / Jake

[just a little more]

you were on the living room couch, layla’s head on your lap while you pet her. as you do, you’re typing on your phone with your free hand. jake makes his presence known by sitting next to you, his head popping into your line of sight. you set your phone aside, smiling as you pat his hair. he frowns,

“you’ve been giving layla your attention all day, what about me?”

“layla’s cuter than you,” you reply with a teasing smile. he frowns, sighing slightly as he looks at the sight of all your attention on layla. jake heads to your room, glad that you loved layla as much as he did but wished you loved him just a little more. you head to the room, seeing jake seated by the edge of the bed, you settled yourself so that you were sitting on his lap, your legs around his waist.

“i want your attention too.”

“someone’s jealous.”

“naur, i’m not jealous,” he says, looking away. you lean forwards, pressing a kiss to his lips that lingers on for a few seconds longer than it should.

“yaur, ya are,” you tease. he smiles, kisses you again as his grip on you tighten slightly,

“it got you here, didn’t it?”

[a pair of fuzzy socks]

you’re half asleep when you feel warmth to your feet and suddenly a pair of fuzzy socks have been placed over them. you say nothing, wanting to go back to sleep more than anything. a few seconds later, you feel a dip on the bed, two actually, and you’re aware of both jake and layla around you. jake lifts up your head gently. you hear him whisper,

“layla, don’t wake up your mother,” and the feeling brings tingles to your heart, fireworks spreading throughout your body. he snuggles closer to you, intertwining his legs with yours as he traces random patterns on your back just before falling asleep.

Park Sunghoon

[cold]

for as long as he could remember, park sunghoon has lived life cold. on the ice he was cold. towards people he acted cold. you entering his life was like the sun rising after a freezing winter night. you were the heat that rid himself of the icicles stuck to his cold exterior. you melted the snowflakes of winter and turned them into roses of spring. you were the warmth he never knew he was missing. he was in your apartment, washing the dishes after you made lunch. you headed to him placing your hand on his arm. he looked over to you, smiling as you hugged his side. you leaned up as you kissed him, he couldn’t hold back his small laugh. as he felt your lips on his, heat rose to his cheeks. but despite the shyness in him about to take over, he fights it, leaning into you and kissing you once more.

[cold hands]

sunghoon has always had cold hands. and whenever he cuddled with you, he made sure that you knew it. the two of you were joking, running around the apartment when you and sunghoon both ended up on the bed. a glint appeared in his eyes, a plan forming in his head. the tips of his fingers met your stomach as you started bursting out in laugher.

“HOON WHY DO YOU HAVE COLD HANDS,” you yelled as you tried to fight him off. he smiled, vampire teeth showing in all their glory as he settled next to you in bed. his hand rested on your stomach as he brought you to him, his cold feet pressing to yours.

“you’re my personal heater,” he said, pulling you closer to him.

Kim Sunoo

[a little too close]

sunoo has always been clingy around you. some days, he’ll grab your hand out of nowhere and start fiddling with your fingers. at the most random times, he’ll play with your hair and think about how to style it. being in sunoo’s embrace is something that you’ve always welcomed. you were sort of the opposite, accepting and welcoming his touch but never really initiating it. until, today that is. you noticed someone talking to sunoo getting a little too close to him. you didn’t think much of it knowing how friendly sunoo was towards people and how others naturally gravitated to him. but, you couldn’t help yourself when you made your way to them and held onto sunoo’s hand, practically staring down the other person. sunoo smiled, intertwining your hands together while bringing you into the conversation. unsurprisingly, the outsider moved closer and without even thinking, you kissed sunoo’s cheek. his eyes slightly got wide as he looked at you, but it was an action he was glad for. in return, he kissed your cheek with a smile and couldn’t stop talking about it for the rest of the day.

[a tough day]

you were having somewhat of a tough day, having cramps, on and off headaches, and an annoying ringing in your ears that you just couldn’t get rid of. sunoo came home to find you layed on the couch, his heart breaking at the sight. he got some things and brought it to the living room,

“what are you doing?” you asked.

“spa day!” he replied excitedly. he rubbed lotion on your hands, placed cucumbers on top of your eyes, and combed out your hair. the night came to an end with you and sunoo laying on the couch together, him patting in the face mask then rubbing soothing circles on your stomach. with sunoo came a bubble of warmth you never wanted to leave.

Yang Jungwon

[make me]

jungwon’s in a playful mood today and with that playful mood comes teasing you. you’re in the living room where he decided to grab your sketchbook and hold it up above your head.

“won, give it back!” you exclaimed in annoyance, glaring at him. he has the audacity to look amused and he tells you,

“make me.” he’s always found joy in teasing you for your height and right now was no different. a plan forms in your head as you take some steps backwards. as you practically run to him, his eyes widen with fear as he’s forced to let go of your sketchbook to catch you and you end up latched onto him like a koala. you kiss him, in those few seconds the entire world stops and it’s as if no one but him exists. the kiss lingers on a second or two longer than you intended as jungwon’s grip on you tightens so that you don’t fall. on his face you see him smiling and those dimples that you’ve always loved appear. jungwon was never good at hiding his emotions, his love for you no different. you close your eyes as he leans down, you expect a kiss returned but instead, he kisses the top of your head. lightly flicking your forehead gently,

“that’s what you get for being short,” he says.

[i'm here]

with all his responsibilities and the things jungwon needs to take care of at such a young age, coming home to you is the one constant in his life. to him, the second he’s able to wrap his arms around you, revel in the scent of your shampoo, and gets to hold you, everything is just complete. at 1:06 am, he came home. it was late, he was exhausted and all he wanted to do was sleep. he headed into the room you two shared, only to see you still awake.

“you’re up?” he asked.

“no, i’m asleep,” you reply sarcastically. he sighs, setting into bed next to you, “someone’s tired,” you said.

“i want cuddles,” he mutters unable to hide his need for your affection. you shift and his head lays on your shoulder. you run your hand through his hair while you kiss the top of his head,

“i’m here.”

Nishimura Riki / Ni-ki

[bungeo to his ppang]

more than anything, ni-ki liked to be by your side. whether it was while he was watching something on his phone, showing you a new dance routine, or asking you to dye his hair, as long as you were just with him, he was happy. sleeping is something that ni-ki has always enjoyed, how could he not when it grants him a few moments of peace before a busy day? the two of you are in the car, he rests his head on your shoulders. unlike normal, he doesn’t fall asleep this time. he pretends to, he closes his eyes, stays still while enjoying your warmth, but he’s not actually asleep. you didn’t seem to notice, he feels you messing with his hair a bit, something he’s never minded as long as it was with you. he hears you talking about how cute he is, practically fangirling over him. he feels you kiss the top of his head lightly,

“sleep well, ni-kitty,” he hears you whisper. he doesn’t move, doesn’t show any sign that he’s affected by your sudden actions of love. but deep down, he feels a happiness around you that’s greater than how he feels when he’s on stage. when he performs he enjoys the thousands of eyes that watch him but all he thinks about are how your eyes look at him with adoration and pride. it was in this moment that he knew, you were the bungeo to his ppang.

[take a break]

after dinner, you’re sitting on the floor of the table in front of the tv, trying to get some work done. suddenly, you feel a weight on your lap. you look down to see ni-ki’s head on your lap, his eyes closed but he’s clearly still awake.

“yah, get off,” you said, slightly lifting up your leg.

“no.” you roll your eyes, deciding not to pay attention to him as you go back to sleep our work. it seems that ni-ki had other plans as he took your one of your hand and starting fiddling with it.

“ni-ki, i’m busy.”

“take a break,” he said. you look down at ni-ki… how could you refuse? you put away your things, shifting so that your full attention was now on him. he smiled up at you, fiddling with the edge of your clothes while saying the most random things that made you laugh.

↬ ᴀ/ɴ pt. 2:

if anyone’s read up to this point pls lmk how it was, i’m not really good with ot7 scenarios typa things 😭

❦ written by riri @enhykkul | blog masterlist

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