#wrote this instead of an essay if you couldn't tell

[steddiehyperfixation]

not so tragic a thing after all (steddie ficlet)

Eddie has an essay due in two days. It’s a big one, the last one of the semester, of the year, the one that will make or break his grade and determine whether or not he finally gets to graduate high school. 

And he can't write it. 

As in, he's been sitting at his desk and staring at a blank piece of lined notebook paper for hours, bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers and twirling his pencil but not producing a single word. It's not that he doesn't understand the prompt or that he doesn't know what he's going to write about, because he does understand it and he does have ideas, he just can't write it. There's some block in his brain, something that keeps him stuck there and anxious, feeling each unproductive second slipping by like a physical thing brushing past him, but still unable to make himself write. 

Eddie's always struggled with essays. Out of all the subjects, he has the lowest grade and the highest number of missing assignments in English Lit. Which is such counterintuitive bullshit because that's his favorite subject, and it's because it's his favorite subject that he's failed it every year. 

It's like this: If Eddie doesn't understand a math assignment, he doesn't care, he'll just scribble in some bullshit numbers or turn it in incomplete and take whatever grade he gets with an impassive shrug and zero damage to his self-esteem. He's just not a math guy, and that's fine. Same with science or history. But he is a words guy. Eddie is a storyteller, a writer, a lyricist; words are his weapons, his outlet, his safe space, his identity. He takes pride in his ability to artfully string his words together, and a shitty grade on a shitty essay is something he takes personally. He'd rather not turn in anything at all than turn in a collection of words he's not proud of. 

Right now the words aren't coming together just right in his head and so his hand refuses to move to write them. He tries to tell himself that it's okay if it's not quite right, that something written, even badly, is better than nothing written, and that he's only guaranteed to fail if he fails to turn this in. It doesn't have to be good, it just has to be done. He tries to force his hand to move, to write something, anything, but the signal isn't getting from his brain to his hand because his fingers continue to twirl his pencil between them rather than curl around it and press the lead to the paper like he wants them to. He just keeps sitting there and staring and fidgeting and not writing like he's been doing all day, all week, all month. 

Eddie berates himself for being so stuck, yells and shouts and curses at himself to get his shit together and just write. But he doesn't, won't, can't. The seconds keep pushing past him and the deadline inches closer and closer and his page remains blank and he's so goddamn frustrated he's on the verge of tears. 

There's a knock on the front door that makes Eddie jump and then a knock on his bedroom door that makes him shove his shamefully empty paper under a book and out of sight as Wayne pokes his head into the room to tell him, “Your boy’s at the door.” 

“For Christ’s sake, Wayne, he's not my boy.” Eddie rolls his eyes at his uncle. He drops his pencil and stands, grateful for the distraction. “Told you a million times, he's just a friend.” 

“Uh huh,” Wayne says, which isn't an argument but very much sounds like one, the way he drags out those syllables with a sort of deadpan disbelief. 

Eddie valiantly ignores him and pushes past him to open the front door for Steve. “Hey, Harrington. What're you doing here?” 

“Uh-” Steve shrugs, looking almost like he doesn't quite know what he's doing here himself. “Missed you, I guess? It's been a minute.” 

Eddie's been isolating himself the past couple weeks, canceling on Hellfire and band practices and hangouts, insisting he needs to focus on his essay. He didn't realize any of his friends had taken notice. 

“Oh, and I brought snacks!” Steve adds brightly, holding up the bag of chips in his hands like he just remembered it was there. “Thought you might need a break from your schoolwork.” 

“Oh.” Something warm blooms in Eddie's chest and tugs a smile from his lips as he moves aside to let Steve in. “That's sweet, thank you.” 

Steve returns the smile, stepping inside. “Anytime. So - how's the essay going?” 

“Uh, yeah, it's kind of not,” Eddie admits with a self-deprecating sigh, running frustrated fingers through his hair. He nods for Steve to follow as he heads back to his room and pulls the stupid blank page out from its hiding place to show off his failure. “Been at it for weeks and I still can't seem to get a single goddamn word down.” 

“Hm.” Steve frowns a little at the paper for a second, but his attention appears to be far more focused on the book the page had been shoved under: a well-worn copy of Romeo and Juliet. He smirks as he picks it up and reads the title aloud, teasing, “Didn't take you for a romantic, Munson.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes. “It's what the essay's on.” He snatches the book back before Steve can start to flip through it and read anything he's written in the margins. “And it's not a romance, it's a tragedy - which is exactly what I was going to write about, actually, if I could just write it.” Eddie sits down heavily in his desk chair, glaring at the blank paper. “Was gonna argue that people tend to focus too much on the romance of it all, but they're missing the point entirely, and this tendency to over-romanticize the story completely overshadows and trivializes the actual themes of the play. It’s not about love, not really, or at least not in the ways people think. It’s-” 

His tangent stops short as he notices Steve beginning to rifle about his room - setting the bag of chips down on the nightstand, grabbing a pencil off the desk, scooping a random spiral notebook (his math notebook, as it happens) off the floor. Eddie turns sideways in his chair and looks at him strangely. “What are you doing?” 

Steve turns the notebook to a blank page and sits down on the edge of Eddie's bed, already starting to scribble words across the paper. “I'm taking notes,” he says, like it's obvious. “Don't let me interrupt you.” 

Eddie's eyes narrow. “Are you patronizing me?”

“No, no, of course not.” Steve's reassurance is quick and comes with a rapid shake of his head. He looks over at Eddie, expression earnest and genuine as he says, “I’m just interested in what you have to say. I wanna know what you think Romeo and Juliet is about. If it's not romance, what is it?”

Eddie regards him skeptically at first, answers in a measured tone and glances warily at the pencil continuously scratching ‘notes’ onto Steve's paper. But the more he speaks and the more Steve engages with such honest reactions of interest and encouragement, the more Eddie gives into the tide of thoughts in his head and lets them spill from his mouth with increasing enthusiasm: He describes the inherent tragedy of a life cut short which could've been prevented, rambles about the reality of being young and stupid and consumed by emotion, rants about the mortality rate of blind bigotry and prejudice, and waxes poetic about love itself being something tragic and dooming, occasionally grabbing the book and reading out lines of the actual poetry to illustrate his points. 

When Eddie's well of words on the subject eventually runs dry, Steve continues writing for just a few seconds longer before he glances up with a grin and stands to toss the notebook and pencil onto the desk next to Eddie. “There's your essay,” he announces. “Well, kind of. You might want to rearrange it a little-” 

“Steve,” Eddie cuts him off, staring at the open notebook covered in the scrawl of Steve's handwriting with wide-eyed disbelief. He looks back up at him. “You wrote my essay for me?” 

Steve shakes his head. “You wrote it. I mean, it's all your words exactly as you said them, all I did was transcribe it.” He shrugs. His tone and expression are still casual and light, but the hunch of his shoulders and the way he shoves his hands in his pockets now speaks to a sudden shyness as well. “You said you just couldn't get the words down, I know what that's like. I get that way too sometimes - just…stuck - where the thoughts and the intention are there but the action is just frozen. It helps to talk it through, but it also helps to kinda separate yourself from the task a little too. I thought if I could do that first step of getting the words on paper for you, it might make it easier for you to copy some of it down and then start to write it and reorganize it on your own, might get you past that block…” 

Eddie kind of really wants to kiss him right now, feeling young and stupid and consumed by emotion. He leaps to his feet and hugs Steve fiercely instead. “Thank you.”

Steve nearly stumbles from the force of the hug and lets out a startled laugh before returning the embrace. “Don’t even know if it worked yet. Thank me after you finish your essay.”

Eddie shakes his head against Steve's shoulder. “Thank you just for trying - just for being here, even. I’m sure there are much better ways you could've spent your Saturday than listening to me ramble about Shakespeare, but you stayed here anyways and made an effort to help me when you didn't have to. I appreciate it.” 

“Nothing else I’d rather do. I like listening to you talk; I like how passionate you are about your opinions, even if they are a bit cynical.” Steve pulls back with a smile, squeezing Eddie's shoulders for a second before dropping his hands. “It's gonna be a killer essay.” 

Eddie beams at him, the warmth in his expression a reflection of the glow that's unfurling in his chest again.  He plops back down at his desk and picks up his pencil, hovering it over his own blank paper as he looks over the words - his words - that Steve had written. He takes an anticipatory breath…and starts to write. 

Steve was right, restating the words once they've already been written down by someone else does depersonalize it enough to make Eddie finally able to write it and it does get him past that initial block. Soon he's able to move on from simply copying down the words and begins to add new ones and make edits. A laugh escapes him like a cheer, a short burst of something giddy with satisfaction and relief. He's writing, and writing and writing and writing, the words flowing from brain to pencil to paper perfectly and with ease, the way it should've been from the start. 

Steve hangs off to the side at first like he's trying to give Eddie space to work, but ends up slowly drifting closer. When Eddie cheers, Steve's hand goes to his shoulder again, giving it another squeeze, encouraging and proud. His hand then stays there, thumb idly rubbing across Eddie's shoulder blade as he watches the other write. Eddie feels like he's got electricity running through his veins.  

Somewhere within the next hour or so, three pages and two sheets of paper later, Eddie slams his pencil down and sighs with finality, “Done!” This earns him another shoulder-squeeze from Steve and a bright smile when Eddie looks up at him. “You are a fucking lifesaver, Harrington, I don't know what I would've done without you.” 

“Glad I could help,” Steve says, his smile turning sheepish and his hand finally dropping from Eddie's shoulder as he gives a modest shrug and adds, “I’m sure you would've managed on your own, though.” 

“I wouldn't have. I would've failed,” Eddie says seriously. “I was fighting an epic battle against my brain and I would've lost, would've doomed myself to yet another year of pointless high school existence, if you hadn't swooped in and saved me like a goddamn knight in shining armor.” He cracks a grin and stands to dip into a melodramatic bow. “I am forever indebted to you, my liege.”

Steve laughs, and it's a beautiful sound. “You're being dramatic.” 

“I’m allowed to be.” Eddie straightens and grabs his essay off the desk, holding it up and shaking the papers. “This is my golden ticket out of high school, man, you have no idea how much this means to me.” 

“Well then, we should celebrate.” 

“We can finally eat those chips you brought.” Eddie moves around him and reaches to grab the bag of chips on the nightstand, but Steve catches his hand. 

“Screw the chips,” Steve says. “This calls for a proper celebration. How about we go get dinner somewhere? My treat.” 

Eddie glances down at his hand in Steve's. “Are you asking me out, Romeo?” he asks as he looks back up, a teasing edge to his grin so he can play it off as a joke if he needs to. 

“Depends.” Steve rubs his thumb over the back of Eddie's hand, eyes flicking across the other's face almost nervously. “What would you say if I was?” 

Eddie’s smile softens and he finally curls his fingers around Steve's hand. “I'd say yes.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Then yes,” Steve says, his face breaking into a bright and beautiful grin, “I am absolutely asking you out.” 

Another cheer of laughter bursts out of him, giddy now for an entirely different reason. “What are you waiting for then, big boy?” Eddie holds Steve’s hand tight, already starting to drag him from the room. “Where are you taking me?” 

Steve laughs as well and lets himself be pulled along for a second before taking the lead as they head for the front door. “You’ll see.” 

To Wayne sitting on the couch watching some game on the TV, Eddie shouts over his shoulder in passing, “Finished my essay, we’re going out to eat!”

Wayne nods in acknowledgement. His eyes flick to the boys’ joined hands, a knowing smugness in his expression as he mouths subtly to Eddie, ‘Your boy.’ 

Eddie just grins in response, and then he’s out the door. 

Steve takes him to a diner, Eddie’s favorite one, and it makes his chest warm again that Steve knows that. They grab a booth in the corner, hidden from prying eyes. Steve makes fun of Eddie for dipping his fries in his milkshake, Eddie makes fun of Steve for covering his directly in ketchup. It’s all talking and laughing and easy banter, same as it’s always been since they’ve been friends, except now Steve holds his hand and hooks their ankles together under the table and peppers smooth compliments into the conversation that have Eddie grinning and blushing like crazy. The famed Harrington charm is in full effect, moves and lines he’s sure Steve’s used hundreds of times on hundreds of girls, but now they’re just for him, woven so easily into the dynamic that already exists between them, and Eddie basks in it. 

It’s the best first date he could’ve asked for. 

Perfect gentleman that he is, Steve even insists on walking Eddie to the door when he takes him home. Steve kisses him on the porch then, soft and sweet and promising, and Eddie’s starting to think that maybe love isn’t so tragic a thing after all… 

Maybe he needs to rewrite his essay. 

(also on ao3)

[kalashtars]

i need professors to start including their late work policies in syllabi again. i'm trying to make strategic decisions here

[vivwritesfics]

Going to be a little self indulgent but how about Lestappen or Charlando and reader is so overworked and exhausted from studying. But she’s worn herself down so bad while the boys were gone they come back to her like that! Hope this is okay, I haven’t requested something in so long 🥺🩵💙🩵

Grief makes me write apparently

"Yes Max, I promise I'll sleep," Y/N said into the phone as she held it between her head and her shoulder. "I'll just stay up long enough to watch the first corner."

"Mijn liefje, no. You've got a test tomorrow; you need sleep," Max said as he sat in his drivers room, using the last piece of privacy he had before the race. "Promise me you'll prioritise sleep over us."

Actually, Y/N's test was that day. Her test was in six hours, actually, and she hadn't yet gotten any sleep. She'd been either calling her boyfriends while he could or watching videos of them online. Y/N had tried to sleep. And if she wasn't sleeping, she was trying to study, but even that was proving fruitless.

"Okay, Maxie, I'll try," she muttered and wished him good luck for the race. They said goodbye and around a thousand 'I love you's' before Y/N hung up.

She scrolled down to the next name on her contact list.

Lightning Mclerc 🏎💖

Y/N swiped her finger across the screen and pressed the phone against her ear.

There was a good minute before Charles picked up the phone. "Chérie!" Charles cheered as he answered the phone. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

Y/N let out something of a sigh as she leaned back in her desk chair. "I've already done this with Max," she mumbled.

"So you should be sleeping."

"I just wanted to wish you good luck before the race."

"Aw," she heard Charles say down the phone. "Thank you, mon amour. Good luck with your test tomorrow."

She thanked him quickly. "Charlie," she began, dragging out the eeeee. "When are you guys coming home?"

"Soon, baby. As soon as the race is over, Max and I will come home to you."

"Thank you, Charlie. I miss you guys so much."

"I miss you too, Chérie."

After making her promise to try and get some sleep, Y/N hung up the phone. But she couldn't sleep. She had the build up to the race on in the background as she tried to study for her test and complete her essay. It wasn't going to tell.

Within half an hour Y/N was asleep, drooling on her notes.

She woke just a few hours later to her phone, blaring in her ear. She woke with a start, almost falling out of her chair. "Holy shit," she mumbled, wiping the drool from her face. Her notes were a mess, the ink smudged to the point of being unreadable. "Fuck, shit, fuck," she mumbled as she tried to sort through them.

Y/N made her way out to her test. She wasn't prepared, not in the slightest. The boys had probably just finished her race by the time she was heading out towards her campus.

Throughout the entire test, Y/N was sweating. Her hands were shaking as she wrote, but she got through it. She answered every question with little confidence, but the questions were answered, at least.

After the test, Y/N didn't speak to anybody. She walked out of her exam and made her way straight home, straight into her bed, trying her best to sleep.

She couldn't sleep. No. The test may have been over, but Y/n couldn't stop thinking about it. She couldn't go back, couldn't change her answers now, but she was still stressed about it.

Suddenly, the door to her apartment opened. Y/N jumped out of her bed, dressed in Charles' old Ferrari shirt, and made her way to the door.

There they were. Her boys. Tired and exhausted after the first ever race in Vegas, but they were there. They could have gone home to Monaco, but they'd gone to Y/N's instead.

"Oh my god," she muttered as she walked into their awaiting arms. "You're here. You're actually here." Her face was buried in Charles' chest as Max wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"We missed you too, Schat. So, so much," he said, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"How was your test, Chérie?" Asked Charles as Max took their things into the bedroom.

Y/N didn't answer. She kept her face buried in Charles' chest as he walked her further into the apartment. Not good, that much he could pick up on. The test hadn't gone well at all.

When Charles released her, Max grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards him. "You look so tired, schat. Have you been sleeping?"

She nodded her head. Maybe it wasn't enough sleep, but it was still sleep. "But you guys must be tired, too," she said, leaning against them.

The boys settled on the sofa as Y/N ran to grab her laptop. "What're you doing?" Charles asked as she settled down between them.

"Uni work," she answered quickly as she opened the lid.

Before she could type in her passcode, Max pushed the laptop shut. "No, baby. You've just had a test. You can relax, now," he said as he placed her laptop down.

Reluctantly, Y/N accepted it. She cuddled up to her boys as the three of them watched television. If they weren't going to let her burnout, so be it (actually no, she was very grateful that they were forcing her to take a break. Y/N never would have done it on her own.).

[sommerflue-22]

Pretty Boy | Obanai Iguro x Reader

Content Warning: MDNI, graphic depictions of sexual acts, gn!reader, submissive Obanai, dominant reader, foreplay, slight choking, pet names, praise/degradation, creampie, multiple orgasms

Word Count: 0.6k

A/n: in my obanai brainrot era. i wrote this at 5am in the morning, hella deprived of sleep. can't really see him as a dom tbh, obanai is a sub through and through. IN THIS ESSAY I WILL—

──────────────────────────────────────────

Clouded eyes gazed up at you, so dazed and stripped off any common sense. Glistening lips parted, panting, letting out small whimpers. Such a pretty face turning crimson, beads of sweats were forming on his temple. You smirked. How could someone who acts so harsh around other people be so submissive and pliant? Wrapped around your fingers like his life depends on every word you say, every order you give.

You smiled, rather nonchalantly. One of your hand held him across his torso, fingers playing with one of his nipple, as another hand fondled his balls oh so slowly. He arched his back, urging you to touch him more. That wouldn't do. You stopped teasing his nipples, moving your hand up to wrap it around his neck. You put a little bit of pressure on it, causing his eyes to roll back in ecstasy.

"What do you want?" You asked, voice unwavering as your pretty little boytoy sat on your lap, his back against your chest.

No answer. Instead, his turquoise and yellow orbs met yours, teary and desperate.

"Answer me."

He whimpered.

"Fine, if the high and almighty Obanai Iguro won't tell me what he needs..." you retracted both of your hands from his body.

He stopped you, holding both of your hands in his.

You stared down at him. "What the fuck do you want, then? Use your words, pretty boy."

The nickname was enough to send shiver down his spine.

"Want you. Please." He croaked out.

"Where do you want me?"

"Anywhere, please..." Obanai swiftly turned, now straddling you. "Just touch me, please... please..."

You let him hide his face on the crook of your neck as he started grinding down on your thigh. His cock was fully erect, leaking pre-cum.

"I barely even touched you and your pathetic cock's already leaking?" You sneered.

He whined so close to your ear. Oh how you loved teasing him, watching as his arrogant and ruthless persona crumbled down, exposing his true nature: a fucking touch-starved man. What could his colleagues possibly say if they knew how much of a pillow princess he actually was? He knew nothing about how to pleasure you. All he knew was how to moan out your name as you ravaged his body. Though, you let him do that.

Because bringing someone as merciless as Obanai down to his knees was something you took pride in. It's a personal achievement. Nobody could make him beg the way you could. You're determined to rewire his mind, so that he'd worship the ground you walked on.

"Words, pretty boy." You tapped on his waist. "Do you want my mouth? Or do you want me to ride you?"

You were aware of his state, so far gone he couldn't even form a complete, coherent sentence.

"Ride me..."

You immediately pushed him to lay on his back. It's your turn to straddle him, hovering over him as you fingered your hole a little to prep yourself. He watched as you did so.

You smirked, "Like what you see?"

He nodded. You couldn't help but coo a little.

Once you're ready, you positioned his cock under your hole before slowly sinking down. You sighed. Obanai's cock might not be the biggest one you've ever taken, but his surely made you feel so full and stuffed. It's like a taste of heaven, especially when you started moving, emitting shy yet needy moan out of his pretty lips...

...and that's exactly what you did. Bouncing on his cock, letting him moaned out your name repeatedly like a prayer. He might cum inside soon, but don't worry. Just keep using him and you might feel his second and third spurt of cum drip down your thighs later on.

[4sh--tr4y]

The Outsiders Mythical Creature Headcanons. because i positively cannot keep this to myself any longer

[The Curtis Bros:]

-Centaurs (because I couldn't just NOT take that opprotunity)

-Their house is HUGE by human standards, but small by centaur standards

-(Edit: all the curtis brothers were gonna be 10 feet or taller but I reaslised how FUCKING MASSIVE 10 feet+ is)

Darry:

-his bottom half is a Clydesdale horse

-Darry is 7'5

-Still works in contruction, but tends to haul around heavy equipment more often than not

-Stomps on the ground really loud with his front hooves to get people's attention

-..Chest hair. Lots.

-Ties his tail up in a bun so it doesn't get in his way while hes working

-Socs tend not to mess with him cause he could buck them into next tuesday

Sodapop:

-his bottom half is a thuroughbred

-Sodapop is 7 feet tall

-Tends to work outside when at the DX because hes big and he likes it better outside

-a bit easier for socs to mess with, as long as you're in front of him

-prances and marches around all fruity (I know what you are, Sodapop.)

-his tail is his baby, he would die before messing it up

Ponyboy:

-Bottom half is a paint horse

-Ponyboy is 6'3

-On the track team but Darry always tells him to "go easy" on the non-centaur kids (he only listens because he'd actually leave half the other kids in the dust)

-Trains for track like a madman, if he doesn't have something to do he's doing laps around the backyard (probably while reading, fuckin showoff)

-Socs find him easiest to pick on, but its still hard because you've gotta get him down before you can do shit

[The Greasers:]

Johnny:

-Merman/sea creature

-is able to breifly get out of the water but he doesn't really do it much because, well, he cant walk

-His scales kind of look like denim

-The scar on his cheek is actually from a fishing hook that accidentally got stuck there

-The others built a little river that connects to a pond next to the curtis house/barn so he could hang out with them, they probably mske him a stupid little fish tank inside the house that they can just carry him to

-sharp teeths :3

Dally:

-Vampire (but like, he can go in the sun and wear silver because vampire rules are lame)

-Red eyes in the dark, white in the sun

-Throws late night parties with any other nocturnal creatures he knows

-Usually drinks animal blood or eats raw meat in replacement of human blood (but if he gets his hands on human blood he wouldn't necesarily be upset..)

-knows ecolocation

Two-Bit:

-Gorgon/Medusa-like fucker

-Why? it's just a feeling, really. And Two-Bit seems like the type of guy to like snakes

-THE SNAKES ON HIS HEAD ARE RED CORNSNAKES AND YES HE'S NAMED ALL OF THEM.

-Blindfolded most of the time so he doesn't turn the others to stone, he can only imagine what the others look like, when Ponyboy wrote his essay (don't ask how johnny ran away and stabbed a kid without being able to walk, maybe it was a 'write a fictional story' essay instead of 'write about an expirience) he actually liked it a lot because it gave him an idea of what the others looked like

-Probably has a walking stick if he isn't helped around by other greasers

Steve:

-Half-minotaur/bull-human type hybrid

-Covered in piercings. It might just be a bull thing but he has earings, nose piercings, septum piercings, piercings on his chest and horns. Bro goes CRAZY

-The only person allowed to ride on Sodapop's back (for convinence, they say.)

-His mom was a human and his dad was a minotaur

-Stamps his feet in place when hes bored or irritated (like a child)

[xo-rihanna]

Future Leader Part 1 - Neteyam Sully

Warnings - swearing, kind of enemies to lovers. Pairing - Neteyam x Tsu'teys Daughter (Reader) Summary - Tsu'tey survives the battle and has a daughter years later, the same time as Jake and Neytiri have their son, who will become the clan's first Olo'eykte. As she comes of age to take the position, the people are sceptical about having a woman leading them and suggest that Neteyam, son of the mighty Toruk Makto, would be better for the job. A/N - I literally just wrote an essay on Wuthering Heights and bawled my eyes out LOL so this might be short but I will be making a part 2 and possibly 3.

You and Neteyam had always felt in a competition. You had to be faster, stronger, better then eachother. You could say there was a rival between you. Even as children you envied eachother. If one caught a fish, the other would have to catch a shark. It was how it had always been. Neteyam was a mighty warrior, son of the great Toruk Makto and Neytiri. But you were the Olo'eyktan's daughter, you were born to lead. Traits of a great leader were demanded of you. And through your teenage years, Neteyam's skill only shot up like his height. You were determined to prove yourself but you had a lot to live up to.

Your father had started letting you lead war parties, starting the long process of training to become Olo'eykte. You loved the new responsibility, feeling like you were finally headed somewhere. Leading wars came naturally to you and the war party respected you for it.

It was just before noon and you went looking for Neteyam to tell him his place for the mission that day. You were going to ask for Neteyam to spot todays war party instead of be on the front line with you. The boy was so arrogant in combat that he needed to be taken down a few notches in your opinion and get used to playing other roles.

You found him sat with his brother, his guard was down and you caught a glimpse of what Neteyam must be like when he's not surrounded by competition. His smile was almost cute. Almost. "Neteyam, may I speak with you?" You asked, trying to make your voice as stone cold as possible. Neteyam sucked a breath and gave Lo'ak a look before standing to join.

You nodded and smiled to Lo'ak genuinely, you may have a rival with Neteyam but that didn't mean you disliked the rest of his family. Lo'ak grinned and nodded back before leaving to give you and Neteyam privacy.

You turned back to Neteyam, the masculinity was practically dripping off him. He was always tense with you around, always trying to make himself look bigger then her was. In all ways. "I want you on spotter today." You said to him simply.

Neteyam looked at you, his eyes a potent mix of amusement and something else you couldn't put your finger on. He scoffed, "You are joking."

You looked at him blankly, ignoring the feeling bubbling up in your stomach from his hard glare. "I'm not." You told him. Neteyam let go of an audible breath and poked at the inside of his cheek with his tongue in annoyance. "Why would I be on spotter when you know I am the most valuable asset on the front line."

You cocked your head at him, looking at him through innocent eyes. "Do I know that?" You asked, your tail flicking with the exhilaration of deliberately getting on his nerves.

"Don't play, Y/n." It sounded almost like a threat as it came from gritted teeth. You smiled and shrugged, "I think you need to open your mind to the fact that I'll put you wherever I see fit, Neteyam."

You caught a glimpse of Neteyam's breath hitching in his throat at the sound of his name from your mouth. He just smiled and chuckled slightly, "Whatever you say, boss." His last word was soaked with animosity.

LATER IN THE MISSION

The mission was going well. You had successfully taken out the sky people's line of supply with only a few injured. Neteyam did well to stay in his position as spotter although you could tell it was slowly, agonisingly killing him.

The sky rumbled and darkened as a storm brew in, gusting cold air and rain down on us. It was difficult to see through the thick waves of rain drops. You quickly realised you could do no more in this condition and called everyone to fall back and take what they had with them.

You turned your Ikran around, ready to lead the war party through the angry storm when the sound of shots firing from below you made your heart jump in its cage. Sky people in huge mechanical suits were braving the storm, craving death. You gasped, this was not going to be easy. You could hardly see them let alone where you were going. A bullet skimmed your leg, just catching the side. Blood ran slowly down the graze wound. Luckily, there was too much adrenaline pumping in your veins for you to feel the pain.

You cursed and hoped that no one had seen it. Neteyam, however, did. In a second, he was barrelling towards the ground with an arrow draw in his bow. He looked just like his mother, Neytiri. His shot was impressive, quickly taking out one and then flawlessly drawing another arrow for the other. But regardless, he disobeyed your orders. You were never going to live this down.

You gave Neteyam a stone cold glare when he returned, water dripping down his face that was set as still as stone. He cocked his head like you had done to him previously and said, "You're welcome, your highness."

[socstudies]

Hi, as someone who is going to be in their first year of college this fall, I'm curious about the note taking part

Is physical or digital note taking easier?

Is spending money on a laptop nessesary?

What is something you wish you would've done differently during your first year?

Do you have any advice?

If by any chance you see this, your blog and your aesthetic are amazing!

I'm wishing you a wonderful day/night.

If you do decide to reply, thank you in advance <3

helloo! sorry for the late reply & thank u for the ask! :)

ive tried both and i think i prefer handwritten notes, however they both have their pros and cons:

handwritten pros

proven to be better for retaining information

can't get distracted by other tabs

lighter to carry

costs less than a laptop

i've had some classes where we weren't allowed to use laptops so it's good to already be used to taking notes this way

cons:

much slower. sometimes i find im missing stuff and i have to go back to it at the end

have to print out diagrams etc if u want to include them

could possibly lose them, spill something etc

not enough space on desk for both laptop and notebook so u can't get slides up or google something

digital pros:

much quicker

easier to organise & pull up different notes at any time - u don't need to carry around or find older notebooks to be able to study or refer back to past classes

some people make notes directly onto the slides which u would have to print out if u wanted to do by hand

can also use for research and writing essays which u will need a computer for at some point so might as well do everything in one place

cons:

expensive

more stressful if u lose or break it

if u forget to charge it and u don't have paper .......

this upcoming year, im using a combination. most of the time i'll handwrite my notes, but for classes where they talk too quickly i'll type them (it's not worth the stress & extra time having to go back to recordings after). my notes for readings will be annotated straight onto the pdf. i'll be taking pictures of notes to put them all together.

---

unfortunately, i think it is because you'll need computer access to research and write ur essays, as well as to find course information etc. HOWEVER some universities (most?) have laptops that u can borrow and computers in the library, so if u know that you'll be motivated enough to get up and do all of ur work on campus, you could save this cost - bare in mind when u move off campus after first year it might be even harder. definitely look into this if cost is an issue for you! it doesn't need to be a fancy one if u do buy a laptop though, just remember u'll be carrying it around so don't get a super heavy one!

---

as for something i wish i'd done differently: as a sociology student, none of my classes have exams where i have to memorise things, instead it's all essay based. this led me to not 'study' i guess ??? like the stuff that i wrote my essays on, i knew like the back of my hand, but everything else i couldn't remember well. so if ur taking an essay based subject, remember that u still need to study a little & remember these things !! i was so overwhelmed tbh that i forgot about this oopsie!

---

extra advice:

when people say that after u skip one class, u'll skip the rest THEY. MEAN. IT. literally try so hard not to miss class bc you will never go again if u do. my classes would start off with not enough seats for everybody and end up with just a handful of us by the end of term.....

make time for urself !! it can become all consuming, especially if u live on campus, but pls make some dedicated time away from studying !!

u will find ur friends eventually. pls remember that it won't last or be that fun if u stick with friends who u don't have that much in common with just bc they were the first u met. tell me why i was going to bars and clubs with people in first term bc that;s what they wanted to do ????? it's ok to move onto different people bc u will eventually get tired of doing these things u don't like just to be able to hang out with people !! now i go to bookstores and cafes with my new friends and i love it!! don't settle !!

[sepublic]

Do you hate Belos' fans?

If you want my honest, nearly unadulterated thoughts? Well, hopefully this is the last I'll speak on the subject. But in regards to the question; In theory? No. In practice? Well...

They've ignored the actual onscreen characters, dynamics, and themes that the show focused on in favor of building this elaborate fanon and AUs and fics and art of their dead white guys who were never meant to be the focus, hyped themselves up on this entirely offscreen dynamic, and then when the finale didn't deliver on their expectations they gnashed their teeth and turned on the show as a whole because they never cared about the show, just their white favoritism-fueled fanon for it. Because apparently their engagement with TOH hinged entirely on Wittebros, which makes me wonder how they even began watching the actual show to begin with.

These same people viciously turned on the actual protagonists because they never appreciated them as their own characters but as devices to prop up Belos and the Wittebro dynamic, so when they couldn't fulfill that purpose, they were deemed useless and badly written because these people who wrote essays about Belos being left-handed blatantly ignored Luz's explicit onscreen arc and then had the audacity to be baffled by the finale's narrative decisions, and just dismiss Luz as 'badly written' because they refuse to actually engage with Luz for Luz's sake and appreciate her as the main protagonist, who stands more than easily on her own without having to rely on Belos.

These people just genuinely can't seem to comprehend why the show would celebrate this compassionate brown girl over their racist white man, so they went out of their way to disparage Luz, downplay her and her achievements, act like they're spewing some hot takes by claiming Belos is a more interesting character, using whatever convenient excuses they can find; But while the excuse always changes for the situation, in the end it's always because fandom just looooves their bigoted white guys.

So then you have crappy AUs and redemption fics that lightheartedly torture Luz at her expense to explore Belos, or reduce Luz to Belos' sidekick that he secretly cares about, and/or portray Luz's anger towards him as some obstacle towards his ~healing and redemption~ (and you don't need the finale's explicit message to understand why this is so grossly tasteless because fandom hates women and PoC, especially when the two intersect as one character). It's genuinely abhorrent how Belos fans just choose to undermine the entire point of the finale and the show and even Belos himself for the sake of their made-up fanon version.

Like maybe if they actually paid attention to the show and engaged with it on a general level, I might take their complaints a little more seriously; But it's telling how Belos fans just ignored characters who weren't directly relevant/connected to the Wittebanes, until they were. So it's why I can't take it seriously when they disparage the crew for having different priorities because you can just tell they refuse to consider other angles, or go in with the predisposed notion of hating it. The Belos fandom hyped themselves up, and then blamed the crew for leading them on instead of accepting that their speculation on a mysterious character was wrong.

In fact, they're in such refusal to accept this, that some of them even go out of their way to peddle the stupidest behind-the-scenes theories I've ever seen; Particularly, the one arguing that Belos was originally meant to be a sympathetic and tragic villain and was written as such during the first half of the show's run... But when the crew opted to include the Collector in response to TOH being shortened, they just transferred all of Belos' sympathetic qualities to the Collector and left him a pure evil antagonist.

Because obviously, the crew never considered writing two sympathetic villains, right??? It's not as if we don't already have two former members of the Emperor's Coven who unlearn their abuse yet still have different personalities and backstories and dynamics and storylines. No, Belos was supposed to be sympathetic but they deemed that redundant with the Collector, so it's the Collector's fault and it's time to disparage their writing out of jealous resentment.

The criticisms just come across as in bad faith; These people aren't actually interested in critiquing the show. It's all insincere when they discuss how Luz needed to understand how people can become villains (they ignore her dynamic with the Collector and other characters), or how villains need to be humanized because yadda-yadda. It's not because they actually care about these things, it's just a convenient justification for why their white guy deserved better.

Because these viewers are otherwise more than willing to suspend their disbelief and analyze all of the little implications for Belos to understand him, but then refuse to exercise even a little imagination in discussing characters like Luz or the Collector, because it's easier to just dismiss it as inconsistent writing that didn't have any planning behind it. Because they resent these characters for 'taking away' from Belos' spotlight, and with baffling confidence declare any defenses or explanations of the point they're missing as 'stupid takes'.

They talk of how Belos needed to be humanized and have his motives explained, but they were; It's just that these motives weren't framed in a flattering light so that pisses off their sadboi narrative of someone who's afraid of being wrong for the sake of others, rather than only for the sake of his ego (Note that Belos doesn't hallucinate the witches and demons he murdered because he still doesn't care about them). I don't think we can have a meaningful discussion about how Belos was written without first acknowledging a lot of things, such as what is even your stake in trying to argue stuff like how he should've been able to survive, or joking about the protagonists being too dumb to finish Belos off???

I just find it telling how when people criticize how Willow and Gus were handled, or how the Collector went off into space at the end, I can actually understand where they're coming from... But with Belos fans, I'm just utterly baffled to the point where I genuinely wonder how they can think this and if I stepped into some alternate timeline. They claim fandom is guilty of the puritanism that Belos himself displays, but it's not about 'problematic' characters (I'm quite the fan of villains myself), but rather fandom double standards in weeping for Belos while demonizing characters like Lilith as 'getting off easy'.

People understand perfectly that Odalia is meant to be viewed under the lens of a capitalist upper-class suburban white woman who views her family as a status symbol, but then see how Belos is a satire of right-wing conservative white supremacists and the like and just sorta... sweep it under the rug in favor of re-framing Belos as a victim of these mentalities who was brainwashed, rather than someone who gleefully embraced them (regardless of any downsides he may have encountered) because the ideology ultimately benefitted his sense of self.

At first I reasoned that the favoritism towards Belos over Odalia is because one is more fleshed out and whatnot; But after seeing how Belos fans turned on Luz and other characters, I actually do suspect a lot of it is misogyny. It's not as if fandom has ever relied on canon to flesh out faves, these people are proof enough. I remember being baffled by the intense energy there was for Wittebros after Yesterday's Lie aired, wondering where that same energy was for other aspects of the show; At the time I didn't think much of it and figured it just wasn't for me, no judgment, but now? Ugh.

The lack of self-awareness for fandom's obvious habit and tendency with white dudes is just utterly baffling. I'd apply Hanlon's Razor to it, even; Sufficiently advanced ignorance is indistinguishable from malice! These people prove they're more than clever enough to understand and engage with it on a sincere level, but they don't because they don't want to because they're just salty!!!

In the end, it's all just fandom entitlement; Someone else compared Belos fans to those for Kylo Ren and Billy Hargroves and I can't un-see it now. The key difference is that the source material for Belos didn't bend over backwards to coddle and make everything about him; Which means canon didn't feed the beast, and that led to Belos fans not being as obnoxious as the aforementioned groups.

But their portrayal of this guy really is the same as people who put Kyle Ron in flower crowns. It's just this watered-down milquetoast dude they made up in their heads. And without any self-awareness they blame canon and the writers for not adhering to their personal RP headcanons for the character. These are the same people I've seen complain that the show didn't portray Belos' grief over murdering Luz, because it's the whole Oppenheimer effect where if we talk about white people's violence towards minorities, we always gotta make it about the white guy's angst and guilt while brushing past the actual victims and their feelings! Because you know what?

It's clear how much this fandom sleeps on Luz! She's such an incredibly compelling character, the show really is about her, and yet people sleep so much on her depth to talk about others! This is not exclusive to Belos fans, but I find them particularly symptomatic of this problem. Because again, we all know from fandom history (in addition to the explicit onscreen writing) that any claims of Luz not being interesting, or annoying, or flat, is just wrong; And even if it were somehow true, it's not as if that has ever stopped fandom before.

They'll see a female protagonist who is compassionate and say that nice characters are boring, unlike their guy; They'll see a problematic woman and call her an irredeemable bitch, while lamenting how nice characters are underrated and misunderstood as 'basic'. It's all the same. This kind of veers into my complaint about the fandom in general sleeping on Luz despite her being so fascinating, and it's abundantly clear that it's the racism and/or misogyny, maybe even ableism because intersectionality exists!!!

That's why you have people sweeping over Luz's trauma from Belos; They'll obsess over Hunter's because it's more 'intense' or whatever but again, that's never stopped anyone. People deeply understand, Belos fans especially, the psychological layers to Hunter's trauma and how Belos wormed his way inside his nephew's head... But with Luz, they just sorta dumb down their dynamic to whacky enemies on equal footing at times.

There isn't any of that same weight, that same appreciation, for how Luz suffered, and so there's none of the tact, none of the consideration of how they're portraying this, even in jokes or AUs; And that's why people have no problem with making Luz the bad guy for not understanding Belos, even though she did try, and got so terribly hurt for it. And she didn't even need to try to not owe Belos anything. It's why people make cutesy AUs where Belos is Luz's father figure, which is incredibly gross given everything Belos stands for and what he did to her; Because they just don't care about Luz's trauma, nor how gross and creepy Belos was to her. Because they don't care about Luz unless she can prop up Belos.

That's why you have comics taking a scene from Turning Red about a girl of color coming to a new understanding over her immigrant mother's pressures and expectations, and making it about Luz sympathizing with Belos. That's why you have people taking the heartbreaking moment between Camila and Luz in Yesterday's Lie, and making it about Philip and Caleb. It's why you have people insisting more on the parallels than what the two are opposite in, because they're oh so eager to mold Luz into Belos' (and Hunter’s, for that matter) platonic Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and then get angry and lash out at her when she doesn't fit their placid, palatable role; Just like Belos.

Seriously, Belos fans have a fucking victim complex and seem to genuinely think they're being subversive, oppressed underdogs for liking the violent white guy and writing essays about how he's actually femme-coded and neurodivergent and whatnot, and actually in deep pain and misery and needs guidance!!! They think they're oppressed for engaging with darker content and not for fandom racism and white favoritism and just being annoying, so then they come up with things like #BelosFansTakeOver like it's a fucking pride flag. They're Snape fans.

And as I've said before; A part of me was, earlier on, confused about all of the hype and energy. And I think people are drawn to that sort of energy because they see people having fun, and want to participate; So yes, I myself DID end up buying into it, at least a bit. Honestly I think I also had the problem of not fully letting go of my sympathetic Belos speculation, AKA what I personally wanted and not necessarily what fit the narrative the writers were going for; And so I ended up being a bit obtuse in misinterpreting some moments that are obvious in hindsight.

And I think it's partly because, again, the Belos fandom at the time still seemed so reasonable and chill, because they were still hinging on the expectation that their fixation would pay off, and thus had no reason (yet) to resent the show and its focus on Luz and co., and could even be charitable in their interpretation and portrayal of these characters; They liked Luz plenty until they blamed the show for throwing Belos under the bus for her sake, and then proceeded to do the fucking reverse.

And like. I DID actually consider why the finale was written the way it was, and apply that in reorganizing my understanding of Belos; Apologies if I'm patting myself on the back but like. It becomes so much more fun when you work with things. It's baffling because these people are more than willing to put in the thought for wondering why X is a thing with Belos, but it has to be in this way that flatters their blorbo that they demand.

And some of these people certainly seem chill at first, but again I think part of the reason for that is because, like a lot of stuff in regards to fandom racism and misogyny and the like, they don't really seem to register what they're doing as aggravating, so they aren't bothered by it. But even when they are being 'calm' and chill, the way they portray the show through their redemption AUs and whatnot just reveals how they think, because they might not be approaching from some place of intentional malice, but from a willful 'ignorance is bliss' perspective. They haven't been on the receiving end of these constant fandom issues and then wonder why people are getting so heated over something reflective of real-life biases, when fiction was supposed to be a reprieve from all that; So they just act like it’s fandom stans needing to go touch grass.

So these fans come across as soft and comfort-oriented, and then in the same breath express concern over what a terrible person Luz is or whatever without any awareness, because some people are just way too lax about their fandom bigotry. Sorry but if you actually cared about these characters and their themes, you would realize that Camila would rightfully have only murder in mind towards the man who physically and emotionally scarred her daughter, and Masha -whose sole justified takeaway from the Wittebane story was that Philip just fucking sucks- wouldn't tolerate Belos' crap.

And you know what also really fucking sucks? I actually really enjoy Belos as a character and narrative, always have and still do; So it's agonizing to see people get him so wrong, in addition to everything else. In theory, I don't mind the concept of liking Belos, and there are still some people I'm chill with over this! But holy hell I've seen so many Belos fans and Belos fans particularly post all sorts of madness, to the point where I've developed this Pavlovian association between Belos fandom and psychic damage.

If someone likes Wittebros it's pretty much all they post/reblog about. I instinctively brace myself every time I come across such a blog, and I often end up being proven right. It used to be a part of the fandom I could enjoy but now it just feels so hostile towards canon’s themes and celebration, and it’s aggravating when people try to portray the fandom’s callout of this behavior as ‘both sides’ being toxic when what we’re discussing is fandom racism and misogyny, as well as a general refusal to engage with themes that contributes in a negative feedback loop to poor reading comprehension.

I guess I'm so passionate because I've been holding onto these grievances for so long, keeping it bottled for the sake of keeping the peace, but now I'm just tired so why the hell not? It's all reflective of my issues with fandom in general so it's still relevant even if you don't care for TOH. Maybe I should devote my energy into something more useful, I dunno. But as I said, I guess this whole thing is just reflective of societal bigotry and biases, and the lack of reading comprehension as a whole. At least I got the chance to vent!

[dimepdf]

𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘. + 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓

masterlist. / taglist. / any request? synopsis. when Armin first attended his English lecture, the last thing he expected to get from it was a girlfriend that just couldn't keep her hand away from him.

pairing. college student!armin arlert x college student!reader

genre and warnings. +18 nsfw under the cut. minors dni, established relationship, pwp, really fluffy, mutual pining, college au, soft!armin, black coded reader, shy flirting, femdom, movie talk, reader being a FREAKY GYAL, chair sex, needy reader, unprotected sex, whimpering, slight sub/dom, creampie, smitten couple, inspired by me writing this instead of finishing an essay, not beta'd cause i literally wrote this in a hour | — feedback is always welcomed & don't forget to reblog 🤍

Armin absolutely adored everything about you being his girlfriend, from the curve of your smile to your signature scent of coconut oil that lingered against his pillows anywhere you would lie down.

At first, Armin thought he was a bit too interested in you because of the way his heart would flutter at the sight of you. Even after a full year of being together, you were constantly all he would think about.

He considers himself too lucky to have you sitting next to him during his first year lecture. With the professor running late, all the other students could do was make conversation or entertain themselves until time passed.

Armin, being the introvert he was, just kept his head down, already drained from getting into an argument with his ignorant roommates about their lack of taking care of cleaning the place.

The last thing Armin wanted to do was snap at some innocent stranger just trying to make conversation to pass the time. So Armin used his free time to wind down with his AirPods, drowning out most of the noise in the room. He hunched over the table, resting his chin in his palm with his laptop open playing a movie commentary YouTube video.

What he did not expect while stretching was to see you out of the side of his eye trying your absolute hardest to make it seem like you weren't focused on what was playing on his screen, your eyes flickering from your phone up to his computer when you thought he wasn't paying any attention to your interests.

Armin decided to help you out a bit, adjusting his brightness and even turning on the captions so you could tell what was being said without headphones, and much to his surprise, it had turned into an afternoon routine with you.

He waited to hit play once you sat down next to him every day, even spending time after class making a playlist dedicated to videos that he thought you’d enjoy. He even had the courage to let you use one of his AirPods, leaving the case open beside him, hinting that he very much wanted you to use it.

The routine would silently continue on for months, still not yet on speaking terms with each other until the start of the holiday break. 

Just when the lecture was over, just about to walk out of the room, you pulled him aside and he swore his knees almost went weak at the sound of your voice.

"Hey, I know this is kinda random," you said with a small smile as you adjusted your bag strap and looked up at him, his face flushing red as your hand remained gripped around his forearm. "But do you maybe want to watch a movie at my place later?" 

Armin had managed to contain himself enough to give a proper response, but still, you did most of the talking, not that you seemed to mind. 

After getting his number, all you two did was text back and forth until you nervously invited him into your apartment. Armin tried to make himself look as comfortable as possible, but it was starting to get difficult to hear the movie playing on your flatscreen from the sound of his heart trying to escape from his chest.

He had let you have a choice of what to watch, surprised that your pick was some newer films he hadn’t heard of because one of your favorite actors was in the cast.

"How the hell do you not know who Kid Cudi is?" Your excuse of having two other roommates made you move the movie party to your bedroom. 

Armin mentally noted how you rearranged your furniture and decorated your space with little trinkets that seemed to fit your personality so clearly, from the vines hung from your ceiling to the dark pink led strip lights that gleamed your posters to a neon bright color. 

Your posters cluttered walls throughout your entire bedroom, setting a vibe. Armin was a boy laying down in a pretty girl’s room. He felt out of place even with you snuggled into his chest, your head resting on his chest, feeling how tense he truly was.

He knew that you could hear how fast his heart was beating and was happy that you never showed any acknowledgement of caring or pointing it out. Seven, as you shifted closer to him, your thigh hitched in a more comfortable position, bent against his leg Armin was praying, begging, that you would stop moving before you would feel his erection growing through his jeans.

When you went wiggling about, Armin genuinely found the start of the movie pretty interesting. He was the type of film nut that pretty much praised the art style that most films produced under A24’s production put out.

He slowly but surely was able to unwind the further the movie continued to play out. Nodding his head when you would grasp his shirt a bit tighter when an actor that you recognized came on screen trying to explain which other film you had seen them from, even chuckling alongside as you spoke in a shitty impression of the thick accents of the actors to each other, but then the premise of the movie finally set in…

Armin’s glance shifts constantly to the screen to you laying there nonchalantly playing with the bottom hem of his shirt, oblivious to his anxiety-ridden state. Watching the two actors rail against each other on screen was not something he had thought to consider when 20 minutes before the movie started, you were telling him about how the actors were so talented.

Then you have the nerve to ask if he’s okay and wants to change the movie. "No, it's fine, it's a good movie so far, just wasn't…expecting that." He reassures you not to ruin the mood.

“Then…do you maybe wanna try to do what they're doing?” 

“...what?” 

On the first date, Armin quickly found out that you were, in fact, very interested in him in the events that had unfolded during your first night together. Since blooming, a very interesting relationship dynamic that included him being himself and you being extremely turned on by every cute little thing that he did.

As if you and he were stuck together like glue, Armin loved spending time with you. Just being in your presence was enough for him.

Moments where you would come to his dorm and just lay silently on his bed in your own little world, scrolling through your phone while he sat at his desk finishing up the last of his essays, lazily typing away at his laptop, but then you would get bored changing the narrative, crawling into his lap with a content sigh.

Pulling his attention away from the screen, sometimes Armin thinks that you don't realize that you are the most attractive woman he has somehow gotten the pleasure of dating, because if you did, you wouldn't act so surprised every time you brush against him and only minutes later notice that he had an erection.

Just a simple brush against his skin and it was all over him, still not used to your touch and affection, being the touch starved nerd that he was. You were his first everything, from kiss to sex. It was like you had unlocked a whole new world for Armin to explore, all thanks to the fact that you couldn't last a week without jumping on his bone.

Times like now for example, how you would crawl into his lap faking innocent intentions. Combing your fingers through his hair, peppering light kisses down his jaw, even tracing your fingers over his collarbones, were all just a play to get attention all to yourself.

Armin didn’t really mind much about your neediness. Being single for the majority of his life until you came along, he had certainly had some years of sexual fantasies to catch up on and was a complete mess realizing that you too were just a horny mess waiting for him to give the nod before turning him into a whimpering, begging mess.

You knew what you wanted and made sure to get that out of him, which Armin was completely okay with. He very much loved the control you had over him, and he loved the way you would tease him all the time until he could barely take it.

The time you two would spend alone always ended up with him struggling to hold back his moans for his roommate's sake while you had your way with him under the blankets. 

This time wasn't much different. 

The blood from his brain was already draining down to his dick, throwing him into submission the instant your hand grabbed his chin to deepen the kiss that made his body jolt into a pathetic whimper vibrating against your lips.

"Shh!" you whispered, your fingers trailing down his chest. "You don’t want them to hear, do you?" Armin knew that he would die from embarrassment if he had to acknowledge his roommates in the living room hearing him.

Practically begging your name but it was sometimes very difficult to be as quiet as when he was completely at your mercy, with your dangerously wandering hands freeing his erection from the zipper of his jeans and that alluring glint in your eyes as you hooked aside your panties, lining his mushroom tip with the lips of your cunt.

You weren’t one for patience. Armin had quickly gotten to know you never sugar coated anything, and was always clear about what you wanted and when, and right now you wanted him, right there in his desk chair.

Using one hand to stabilize yourself perched against the armrest of the chair, as the other held your palm against his lips, the force of you dropping against his lap made the metal of the chair squeak under the constant shift of weight.

Armin’s feet were planted flat on the ground to keep from rolling around the room, his head leaning back to watch you at work with squinted eyes, his hands holding the bone of your hips with such strength that he knew would leave bruises later on.

He could tell from the way that you looked at him that you had enjoyed how pathetic and needy he looked just because of the things that you were doing to him. How easily he could come undone just from being under your control, that smile that sent him into a frenzy knowing that you got off just by him trusting you enough to let his guard down so much.

Armin was practically in a mess when he had cum undone, his hips rutting up against yours to chase after that feeling of being buried deep inside of your pussy as he released everything he had inside of you. He whimpers your name as if it were a plea against his tongue, begging you for mercy.

Your orgasm would quickly follow his, loving the way his arms wrapped around your waist, hugging against his chest as he let you overstimulate him to the point of tears just to make sure you were truly satisfied.

"Maybe…we should get our own place," Armin mentioned soon after he had caught his breath.

"Yeah, but I kind of like the idea of your roommates catching us." And with that, Armin was ready for round two.

[digitaldreams0801]

The Inherent Plurality of Castti Florenz (Analysis)

When Octopath Traveler II first came out, I jumped right into it as soon as possible. I'm a huge fan of the first game (as my AO3 will tell you quickly), and I couldn't wait to see what the sequel had to offer. As I got deeper into the game, I learned a few things about the cast. My first major revelation about Castti? Castti Florenz might just be one of the most plural coded characters I've seen in my life. I even wrote two one shots about it on Archive of Our Own. A lot of people found the stories eye opening, and multiple people told me that it completely changed the way they view Castti as a character. So let's talk about it. Let's break down Castti as the most plural character to hit gaming consoles in a long time.

(Warning for full game spoilers!)

Introduction

Plurality Explanation

Let's start off with a brief crash course about plurality. Just what is plurality? In short, it's the state of being more than one. Through some set of circumstances or another, multiple people have come to live in the same body. This is commonly, albeit incorrectly, known as "multiple personality disorder." This term has been outdated for roughly the last thirty years. Instead, it is known as "dissociative identity disorder" in the modern age, and it is abbreviated as DID. Those with DID are stated to have alters, but I will be using the term headmate throughout this essay because it is our preferred term as a system. Systems are the collective of all headmates found in a given body. Plurality is a community term used for the experience of being more than one, and it is the preferred term for us, so it will be used as opposed to discussing dissociative disorders going forward.

Plurality is often (not always, but often) associated with trauma. In many cases, systems act as a defense mechanism prompted by extreme trauma. Memories are hidden from those who need to not know the depth of what they have been through. Members of a system work together to look after one another and keep their collective safe. I believe this to be the truth behind Castti and Malaya's dynamic in the game, and this essay will explain the reasons that have led me to so strongly advocate for a plural interpretation of Castti's character.

Plurality in Castti

In order to fully understand how plural coded Castti is, I feel like we should start from the beginning. Castti is first introduced to the audience as an apothecary who lost her memories. We do not know the circumstances behind this, and finding out is the draw behind her story. Very quickly, we are introduced to Malaya, someone who seems to know Castti but is hiding this from her. No one else speaks to Malaya but Castti, and their relationship is complicated from the start. Malaya knows Castti, but Castti does not remember her, and Malaya's behavior is odd and unconventional despite their notable history.

I want to put a pin in this for now and come back to it later. The details behind this theory only make sense when placed alongside other evidence, and this game has a lot more of it than you would think. To be more specific, there's proof in the travel banters, and it's incredibly important to understanding Malaya's role in Castti's present life.

Travel Banter Evidence

There are three pieces of travel banter that need to be addressed here. The first is "Talking to Yourself," the Castti and Osvald banter in Castti's chapter two in Sai. Second, we have "A Good Apothecary," a conversation found in Winterbloom between Castti and Temenos. Last but not least is the postgame "Another Self" with dialogue from Castti, Temenos, and Hikari. All three of these have plural coded undertones that add more backing to this theory, so let's go through them in order and break down what makes them so crucial.

"Talking to Yourself": Castti and Osvald, Castti Chapter Two: Sai Route

Osvald: Master Edmund is…talkative. Castti: Yes. Your polar opposite, Osvald. Osvald: Not necessarily. I’m quite loquacious during internal debates. Castti: What do you mean? Osvald: I maintain multiple mental versions of myself, each with a different perspective, and we’re constantly debating. Castti: Hehe. So you talk to yourself? That’s kind of funny, in an odd way. Osvald: …… Osvald: I thought you were a kindred soul, Castti. Osvald: Someone told me that they overheard you talking to yourself. Osvald: They said it was like you were conversing with someone who wasn’t there. Castti: Really? I don’t remember ever doing something like that.

The game posits this travel banter as foreshadowing of Malaya not being real in the way Castti believes her to be, but there is a lot more to it than that. This conversation was what set off a few alarm bells in my head that Castti could have been plural, and it caught me by surprise when I first reached it. I'm part of a plural system myself, and this conversation is very relatable to the plural experience.

Osvald speaks to himself when he's trying to further his research. He's aware of this and has been for a long time. Castti brushes it off at first, but Osvald points out that she has the same habit. The way this conversation phrases it, the game seems to imply that someone has told Osvald that Castti talks to herself recently. "Someone told [him]" that Castti had been talking to herself. I somehow doubt someone random from Canalbrine would have done that, especially since there's no guarantee that Osvald is even in the party at all when Castti first joins. Osvald is hardly talkative in the first place, and for someone to go out of their way to tell him Castti had been talking to herself, it must have been more recent than Canalbrine. In other words, it was more recent than Castti's run-in with Malaya.

Beyond that, Castti isn't even aware that she's doing it. This is something very common within plural people. The idea of what's "normal" is always based on our internalized perceptions of the world and what we have been taught. To some, they believe hearing voices in your head is normal because they've always lived with it. That was certainly the case for us before we realized we were plural. Your perception of what is "normal" is skewed because of what you have lived with. It's nothing out of the ordinary if you've always lived this way. Castti is shocked to be called out by this because she's so accustomed to it without even realizing that she's doing it. How was she supposed to know it's not normal? She doesn't live in anyone's head but her own, and to her, this is normal.

Her final line is another piece of evidence adding to this theory. She doesn't remember doing that. In Castti's story, memories are incredibly important. They're the driving force behind her entire narrative. Her not remembering something that took place even after she lost her memory is bizarre. She's so accustomed to talking to herself that she doesn't even notice... And she doesn't remember doing it either.

Systems are often built in a way that is meant to be hidden. Many systems form as defense mechanisms from trauma, and as such, they know how to hide themselves from the parties involved until the time is right. Revealing too much too soon poses a risk to the system, and amnesia is common in plural communities. Memories can be deliberately tampered with by members of the system who act as protectors, and that can lead to memories being taken from people who are not meant to remember something at a given moment. For example, memories can be hidden for the sake of keeping the system masked for as long as possible.

Between calling out Castti's habit of talking to herself, saying that it has happened recently, and noting that she still has memory issues after turning up in Canalbrine, this travel banter is full of evidence to point to Castti being plural. It immediately struck me as being plural when I first saw it, and that alone was enough to get me thinking about Castti in a new light... And somehow, that's only the first of three travel banters that point to Castti being plural.

"A Good Apothecary": Castti and Temenos, Castti Chapter Two: Winterbloom Route

Temenos: Castti, have you remembered anything new lately? Castti: Nothing of any importance, sadly. Castti: The truth is…I’m somewhat frightened. Temenos: Of…what? Castti: This amnesia… Castti: I hear it can be a self-defense mechanism. Something the mind does to forget horrors or trauma. Castti: Perhaps I will be happier if I never uncover the secrets of my past. Temenos: Be at ease, Castti. Temenos: You are a good person and a fine apothecary. Your actions now prove this without a shadow of doubt. Temenos: There’s no way your past is filled with darkness and despair. Castti: Th-thank you, Temenos… You’re surprisingly nice today. Temenos: Today? I’m always nice.

This travel banter has one primary line that should be noted for this analysis, and that is the following statement from Castti:

"I hear it can be a self-defense mechanism. Something the mind does to forget horrors or trauma."

Many systems form as a response to trauma. In this case, some members of the system keep memories separated from those who need to function without the chains of their trauma holding them down. If someone needs to function on a regular basis, then their trauma is hidden from them so they can live without crumbling due to flashbacks and painful memories. Castti is right; amnesia can be a self-defense mechanism in response to trauma, and it is very commonly seen in systems. In fact, that is exactly what Malaya appears to be in this situation: a protector meant to keep Castti safe from the horrors of her past. The idea of trauma causing amnesia so immediately is something you would see in a system, and in this case, it points to Castti being plural once again.

"Another Self": Castti, Hikari, and Temenos, Postgame Tavern Banter

Hikari: There is something I would like to ask you, my friends… Hikari: Do you ever feel…like you aren’t yourself? Temenos: Hmm… I’m not sure I understand. Temenos: Do you mean to ask if the entity currently perceiving the world around you…isn’t you? Hikari: By that logic, there would be another inside of me other than myself. Hikari: But that other isn’t someone else. Hikari: However, it isn’t me, either… Or at least, that’s how it feels. Castti: I’ve had a similar experience. Castti: I felt the me of my memories—the ones I had lost—was a different person. Hikari: …… Temenos: I think I’m starting to understand what you mean. Temenos: I feel like there’s more than one of me when I must differentiate my feelings as a person from those as a cleric. Hikari: I see… So I’m not the only one who struggles with this. Castti: Hardly. Few people possess only one facet. Castti: I think you have no cause for concern. Castti: We must accept the other sides of ourselves and learn to coexist with them. Castti: In the end, it’s not who we are, but how we choose to live our lives that is most important. Hikari: …… Hikari: Perhaps the “self” is something…indefinite. Hikari: In which case…we should strive to become the person we want to be. Castti: Hehe. I’m sure you can do it, Hikari. Hikari: Thank you, Castti. Hikari: My apologies for bringing such a complicated topic to the table. Please pay it no mind. Temenos: …Hm? What were we talking about again? Temenos: I seem to have forgotten… I believe I’ve had too much to drink… Hikari: …Thank you, my friends.

This is the longest travel banter that needs to be addressed here, and it has a lot to unpack. First and foremost, Castti pretty much outright states here that she has dissociation and depersonalization issues. She doesn't feel like the person of her memories and her present self are the same person. That's already a lot to unpack on its own, and considering the fact that dissociation is one of the most common symptoms of plurality, it feels like even more proof of Castti being plural. She doesn't feel like one uniform person and struggles enough with not feeling like herself for it to be brought up with Hikari of all people who also struggles with depersonalization throughout the story.

But wait, there's more! Castti says that "few people possess only one facet." This is coming on the heels of her saying that she struggles with seeing herself as a single unified person. Spoiler alert, Castti: singlets don't feel like completely different people even if they do have different facets. Some singlets have stated that the person they are at work feels completely different than the person they are at home... But that is not the same thing as plurality, and having a work mode doesn't come with dissociation and feeling like multiple people to the point of bringing it up with other people. That's awfully plural of you, Castti.

And somehow, there's still more. Castti expresses the importance of accepting the other sides of herself and learning to work with them. This is a lot like what it's like to reach out to your headmates when you're plural. Like it or no, you're stuck there in the same body together, and you have to learn how to work together and coexist to make your common life work. She says that it doesn't matter "who we are" in comparison to how we choose to live our lives... Another line that reads of depersonalization when said right after everything else she says in this tavern banter.

To wrap things up, this travel banter says that Castti struggles with depersonalization and dissociation, doesn't possess a single facet, and wants to work together with the other sides of herself. Wow. I don't know what I expected, but considering the fact that this travel banter is called "Another Self," I shouldn't be surprised. This entire travel banter makes Castti feel incredibly plural, especially when placed right next to Hikari who has the Shadow Hikari situation going on. I have a few issues with how the Shadow is portrayed in the game, but the point of the travel banter is that Castti reads as very plural here. When you combine that with her talking to herself regularly, recognizing the role of trauma in some amnesia, and stating she still has a few memory gaps now... You can see this theory start to find its footing in full.

Malaya, the Protector

Under my interpretation of Castti as being part of a plural system, Malaya is her headmate and a protector in their system. Malaya is trying to lead Castti to the truth, but she can only reveal information that Castti is already aware of. This is stated at the end of the reveal about the Healeaks incident in Castti's chapter three. The game seems to imply that Malaya is either a ghost or a figment of Castti's imagination, but I have issues with both of these ideas. The ghost proposal is implied through lines about how Malaya is "no longer in this world" and the final farewell to Eir's Apothecaries at the end of chapter four. However, why would a ghost version of Malaya have to conform to the rules of only telling Castti what she already knows? How would this happen in the first place? It feels rather bizarre in a game that doesn't treat contact with ghosts as being possible. Even when Temenos guides Crick's spirit in his chapter three in Stormhail, it doesn't feel literal. Instead, the bright blue of Crick's ghost feels symbolic, implying that the idea of life and death is largely intact and agreeable in universe compared to what we know in real life.

The figment of Castti's imagination makes a bit more sense, but I still feel the plural explanation fits far better. Malaya feels far too complex to simply be something Castti made up, and how would she have known enough to do that without her memories? In my mind, it goes like this: Castti was thoroughly traumatized by the events in Healeaks and couldn't remember immediately without completely shattering. The Malaya we see throughout the game is a headmate of Castti's who was created in the aftermath of the tragedy. The Malaya we see in present times acts far too complex for me to believe she's simply something Castti made up on the spot. Instead, I believe Malaya has her own autonomy and motives that pushed her to behave the way she did throughout the story. Members of systems have their own personalities and can make choices for themselves too. This feels much more in line with what we see of the present day Malaya in the game, and I believe this is because she is Castti's headmate.

In systems, there is a role known as protector. These are headmates who keep the system safe in the face of danger and trauma. Protectors are sometimes tasked with carrying painful memories so those who need to function on a daily basis are able to press on without risking being triggered into a flashback. I believe Malaya is a protector within Castti's system, and more specifically, she is an introject created by the Healeaks incident.

The Theory in Action: A Timeline

When the massacre of Healeaks took place, Castti was left massively traumatized. She was unable to save even a single life of the townspeople, instead watching as all of them died from symptoms she could not understand or resolve. There's an NPC in the ruins of Healeaks who says that he buried all of the bodies in the town and remarks on the horrors of the corpses in his Inquire text. The scene was beyond grotesque, and yet, it only got worse from there.

Castti saw every one of her allies fall after she went up to investigate Mount Liphia. Trousseau was waiting for her there and revealed his horrifying actions. He had betrayed Castti and the rest of Eir's Apothecaries and was joyous at the pain he was causing. This would have been traumatizing enough, but then it got worse. Andy and Randy sacrificed themselves to stop the flames of the Shadow's smoke, and Castti began to succumb to the poison as well. Malaya took her back down the mountain, and they found Elma dead and Jeyah losing strength fast. Malaya took Castti away from Healeaks and out to the New Delsta Anchorage where she dropped her off and sent her out to the sea. Malaya died soon afterwards, succumbing to the poison, and Castti was left to drift out of the range of the rain unconscious.

All of this was beyond traumatizing for obvious reasons. The mass death, the betrayal of someone she loved, losing her found family... It all happened within just a few hours. Castti's body was left struggling after this as well because of the poison Trousseau used. It was too much for her to bear both mentally and physically.

And that's where the Malaya of modern day comes in. She was not a ghost nor was she a figment of Castti's imagination. Instead, she was a headmate who appeared as a result of the Healeaks massacre. Malaya knew one thing above all else: Castti could not remember what just happened. Imagine what would have happened if Castti had awoken with her memories; she would have completely broken down, and no one could have blamed her. The events of Healeaks would have shattered her, and Malaya couldn't have that happen. She was created from the trauma of Healeaks, and she kept the truth secret from Castti while drip feeding her memories of the past as she grew ready for them.

In Canalbrine, Castti treated the people after their water was poisoned. Sesque remarked on how Malaya was the only apothecary around even though to Castti, Malaya was right there. Sesque didn't respond when Malaya tried to calm him down, and throughout the rest of the chapter, no one else said a word to Malaya. Even after Malaya helped Castti to remember the past, no one responded to her leaving behind a clearly distraught Castti in the heart of the town. Malaya flashed in and out of existence, seemingly as evidence of her being a ghost, but again, this doesn't make much sense with the rules established by the universe. If Malaya was a ghost, then why would she not try to tell Castti things only she knew and Castti wouldn't have? If Malaya was a figment of Castti's imagination, then how did she exist at all without Castti having any solid memories to pull from?

I think the explanation as to why Malaya didn't appear more consistently can be cleared up by the idea of Malaya having her own motives and autonomy. She was afraid of the truth and didn't know how she was supposed to reveal it to Castti. Of course she was terrified. She held the memories of a massacred Healeaks and knew she would have to reveal it to Castti one day if they were to stop Trousseau from killing the people of Timberain. Malaya was terrified of having to tell the truth. She deliberately kept from speaking to Castti openly for as long as she could because she was afraid. Malaya may have been there to lead Castti to the truth, but she had the room to be afraid on account of being a headmate with her own emotions and insecurities.

Castti kept up her habit of talking to people who weren't there even without Malaya there though. Perhaps she subconsciously knew there was someone for her to talk to, and that was why she kept doing it. Osvald commented on it in "Talking to Yourself", and Castti said she didn't remember because Malaya was keeping it a secret from her. Throughout all of this, Castti struggled with depersonalization and dissociation as is stated in "Another Self" even if that banter is much later in the game. Castti entertained the idea of trauma causing her amnesia in "A Good Apothecary" with Temenos in Winterbloom, not realizing just how accurate that was.

Castti's conversation with Malaya after her chapter twos is definitely a scene she is meant to have alone. Even if the other travelers are there, everything about it reads that she must be alone. The others would have noticed her talking to herself if they were there, and this is the same reason why there is no travel banter during the recollection sequences in Healeaks. Castti asks Malaya for answers, but Malaya remains stingy with the truth on account of her fear. She asks Castti to meet her in Healeaks.

At the end of Castti's chapter three, the truth comes out. Malaya is "no longer in this world" as Castti says, and Malaya drops her crucial line about how she can only reveal to Castti that which she already knew. The memories were always there; they had simply been repressed and hidden by the trauma of Healeaks. Malaya existed to Castti even before she got her memories back though, something that I don't think would have been possible for a simple figment of Castti's imagination. Malaya was afraid of the truth and hid it for as long as she could, and when the truth came out, she backed away.

Systems are meant to keep themselves hidden from the people who take care of most daily tasks. On many occasions, members of systems even speak to their headmates without realizing that's what they're doing, and then they go right back to not being aware because they don't recognize that is what is happening. Some have described it as talking to their inner child or guardian angel without realizing those were headmates. Castti spoke to Malaya here, but that did not necessarily mean she knew the truth. In fact, she still didn't know, and Malaya took a step away until their confrontation on the roof with Trousseau.

Malaya comes back to help Castti find the cure to the poison rain even after she seemingly faded away back at the harbor near New Delsta. This fading away didn't seem to mean much to Malaya, and she came right back. I believe that Castti imagined Malaya fading away as a matter of symbolism rather than actually witnessing it, especially since Malaya returned in Timberain. They came up with the cure together, and in the dream that followed, Castti put Eir's Apothecaries to sleep. Some see this as proof of the ghost theory, but in my mind, this could simply be symbolic or metaphorical as dreams often are. Later, Castti told Ori that Eir's Apothecaries had saved Timberain... And if you think about it, that could refer to her and the Malaya of modern day too. Even after all of this, Castti did not know the truth, and she brought up having depersonalization and dissociation issues in "Another Self" during the postgame. Malaya was her headmate, her protector, and the guardian of her memories all this time. She just didn't know it.

Housekeeping and Other Points

There are a few other points I wish to address before the conclusion, so here's a handful of final details about this theory I want to draw attention to. Castti recovering her memories happened quite often with Malaya guiding her through it. The few memories she found on her own without Malaya directly there were vague and lacking in key details, such as Trousseau's identity being hidden from Castti during her flashback in Sai. Malaya was the key to Castti understanding her past in full, and she needed to be there to guide Castti to the truth.

Beyond this, Castti is unable to remember anything unless Malaya specifically allows her to. Malaya vaguely instructed Castti to seek out the truth before she left in Canalbrine, and Castti later found her way to Sai and Winterbloom as Malaya wanted. Every memory Castti found was a direct consequence of Malaya allowing her to remember, something that is very reminiscent of system members keeping their memories hidden from others unless they explicitly permit the sharing of memories.

There is a common but incorrect belief that only childhood trauma causes plurality. This isn't exactly the case. There is a strong correlation with childhood trauma, but it is not necessarily causation. For an example of a system forming later in life, there is a case of a soldier going off to war and coming back plural due to the trauma when he never showed any symptoms and did not report plurality prior to his service. Castti's system could have definitely formed from the trauma of Healeaks.

Malaya meant a lot to Castti. During the flashback in Healeaks, Malaya says something about what snowdrops represent but cuts herself off. Another NPC in the flashback says they stand for loyalty. In the flower language seen outside the game, snowdrops represent rebirth and new beginnings, something fitting perfectly with the modern Malaya's relationship with Castti. It's not out of the question to believe Castti and Malaya were far closer than Castti was with any of the other apothecaries, and this is the reason Malaya specifically appeared to Castti.

Under the circumstances described in this theory, Malaya would classify as an introject. In systems, introjects are headmates that come from outside sources, including important people in the system's life. The Malaya we know was inspired by and based on the Malaya of Castti's memory. She is an introject who appeared to protect Castti and guide her back to her memories.

Conclusion

Throughout Octopath Traveler II, Castti is shown to exhibit many of the symptoms found in plural systems, and she reports on many of them herself. She struggles with feeling like one person, expresses a desire to reach out to the other sides of herself, talks to herself enough for it to be noticed by outsiders, grapples with amnesia even beyond the Healeaks tragedy, and faces dissociation issues on a regular basis. All of this is incredibly relatable to the plural experience and causes Castti to read as plural with Malaya acting as her headmate. The Malaya we know and the Malaya of the past are not the same; the former is Castti's protector who guides her to the truth of her memories following the tragedy of Healeaks. There is ample evidence throughout the game to point to this between travel banters, the rules of the universe, and the events of Castti's story.

Castti is a very important character to me personally because of her plural coding. I doubt it was intentional on the part of the writing team behind this fantastic game, but it hits very close to home for being accurate, empowering plural representation that doesn't position the system as the villain. Granted, this exists in the same game as "Shadow Hikari," a character that has been very prone to evil alter stereotypes within the fandom. Still, Castti is a representation of plurality that resonates so deeply because of her accuracy in portraying plural life, especially the plurality found in those who have not yet discovered their systems. Castti is the most plural character I've seen in any media in a long time, and she's the plural mascot of 2023 for me.

If you enjoyed this essay and analysis, I highly suggest you check out the one shots I linked at the top of this story. They explore my interpretations of Castti's plurality in a lot more detail through written prose rather than essay format. If you want to put a plural interpretation of Castti in your fan work, feel free to do so! In fact, tag us in it so we can check it out. Thank you for reading this far, and have a lovely night. To any systems seeing this: rock on. Plural gang forever.

[nysus-temple]

Point of view: Odysseus & Penelope.

A.k.a. Nysus is seeing her favourite couple ever is trending and wanted to scream about it.

It's an analysis, but not a serious one. I'm just gonna dump all of my emotions because these two make me feel things no other couple in humanity's history made me feel haha ✨anyways✨

1. Helen.

I absolutely adore Helen and all the shenanigans regarding her figure, but that's for another time, another essay.

Wether it's by Hesiod fragments, by Pausanias or by the Pseudo-Apollodorus ( as his name states, not OUR Apollodorus, we have no idea who the fuck wrote the Bibliotheca, so, i'm always a bit salty with using it as a source ) we all know Helen had a big, BIG, number of suitors wanting to get her hand. Not only the daughter of the king of Sparta, but also the most-beautiful-woman-to-ever-exist, we know the deal. And, of course, between those suitors, there was Odysseus.

Now, Odysseus like everyone else was there for Helen, but he believed from the beginning he had cero chance. I, well, have no idea if Penelope was there or not, but Odysseus did know her if he was gonna ask Tyndareus to allow him to marry Penelope in exchange of making the whole oath thing so the suitors didn't start a war for Helen.

Penelope was the daughter of another king of Sparta, yes, and Helen's cousin. But, you know... That's it. And somehow Odysseus still decided to choose her. You're telling me that, the man of many schemes, decided to choose her over Helen, when he could have done any screwed up thing to get her instead? The man of many shemes???

The Odyssey is what characterizes Penelope the most, to no one's surprise. And it's thanks to it that, perhaps, we more or less can guess what he saw in her: her schemes. I mean, Penelope made ALL of her suitors wait with a scheme, she saw if Odysseus was truly him or not with a scheme as well. We could say that she was clever, in fact. She could trick Odysseus, and that was something Helen couldn't do. For him, the man of many schemes, that meant more than any fame the other could have given him.

2. I really don't wanna leave right now.

So you're happily married with a woman you love and you both have a son, too bad some shenanigans regarding Troy happened and now you have to go to war for the oath you yourself made ! Shit !

... This is according to some fragments of the lost epic of Cypria. It's thanks to archeological stuff that we more or less know what could have been written on it.

"Odysseus didn't want to go just because he didn't want to" look, i get that we all love those cold-heartless-heroes or whatever, but you're telling me he had a SON, and he didn't want to go "because he didn't want to"? Come on, i REFUSE to believe it was something else than him not wanting to leave Penelope and Telemachus. He had way too many stuff to lose if he went to that war. Like, come on, he really cared!

3. Calypso and Circe.

Calypso... Well, fuck.

So you're telling me he was stucked with her for 7 years, she was willing to do anything for him, make him inmortal, shenanigans shenanigans, ✨BEAUTIFUL INMORTAL NYMPH✨, and yet he was crying because he couldn't see his WIFE? It's hilarious to me that so many people have the balls to say that "he just got bored" YOU'RE TELLING ME HE, (and this is me trying to have the most sexist way of thinking every) WHO HAD A ✨BEAUTIFUL INMORTAL NYMPH✨ LOVING HIM AND FALLING HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HIM IN A DREAMY ISLAND AND WHO COULD MAKE HIM INMORTAL, still wanted to go back to Penelope? A mortal woman who would eventualy age?

"The gods said it was the time" yeeeaaah... No. They did not. Athena is just the one who jumps everywhere following Odysseus so she was just like, "dad, he's crying, that makes me sad :(" "he's been crying for seven years, Athena" "IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU". If they really wanted him to return home, they could have just, you know, help him as they did! They just didn't want to piss off Poseidon, who despised him after, well, shenanigans, they had enough fights between gods after the Trojan war. Odysseus literally was even UNSURE of Calypso actually letting him go, because he thought that it was a trap. That's "love" according to ya'll, huh.

And Circe. It's, well, the same.

She literally turned his men into animals and was gonna kill them, so, you know, i don't think he held any special emotion towards her, other than fear. At least she only kept him for a year, because DAMN. Not going into the whole children shenanigans because just like with Calypso, it's gross for several reasons and i'm not here to talk about psychology.

The thing is, the Odyssey is about returning home, and Calypso and Circe are part of all the things in the Odyssey that represent why someone wouldn't go back home! Just like with other chapters of the Odyssey, Circe and Calypso are just that, reasons to keep the hero away from home, which he declines because it's been years, let him fucking go.

4. Schemes.

We all know about Odysseus' schemes, but let's talk about Penelope's!

It has always pissed me off when people described her as "just the archetype of faithful wife, boring, loyal" like, woah, okay, did we read the same work? I bet we didn't since English translations mostly suck LMAO.

Penelope was very clever, not just "the wife of the hero and move on". Think about the loom, since she's a weaver. How she made the suitors wait for SO LONG with that scheme. And if you're gonna ask why Odysseus killed a couple of her maidens, well, you see, it was them who told the suitors about Penelope's scheme. They betrayed her. We don't have anymore background to that, but... Yeah. They suck.

And the whole bow contest thingy? Did she ACTUALLY know the beggar who appeared was Odysseus in disguise? Because, you know, only Odysseus could use that bow out of all, so by holding that contest there are two options: either all the suitors would fail and she would keep them away for more time, OR she knew the beggar could be Odysseus and decided to test him, in order to see if he was truly him. She saw gods enough times, so it's no surprise that she suspected something like that. She even talks about the Heracles myth for that.

And how after ALL those years, she obviously wasn't sure if that man was truly Odysseus or not, so she decided to trick him into something only Odysseus would know. HOW COOL IS THAT I LOVE THIS WOMAN

5. The olive tree.

Or, as i like to call it, emotional damage.

As i said before, in order to prove that it was truly Odysseus, she tells Eurycleia to move the bed in their bridal-chamber. Odysseus then, in fear that someone had made a change, tells her that isn't possible, since he made the bed himself. In fact, one of its legs is a living olive tree! And that's the end of the Odyssey, them being reunited and enjoying the few time they have together for once.

I am NOT talking about the works that invent some weird-ass-hell-shenanigans after this. I am not for our well-being. They're happy, Homer said they're happy AND THEY'RE

[forlix]

talking ab fallen star cos that fic consumed me when i first read it and consumed me again when i reread it earlier 🤚

firstly the way he kept his promise to bring mc to the airport it really broke me. it's so melancholic like there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one? you can still feel the love he has for t hemin the way he tiredly made his way to drive to their house and to the airport after he came back from his own long flight it honestly makes me insane.

i love how in the car there's this like faint and twisted idea of hope lingering between them. some part of them still longs for the other and it's right there they could just grab the very thing they yearn for but it's incomplete. it's not the same. honestly when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot? and ac i feel like they meant both of them are idiots for allowing themselves to end up in this awkward but necessary situation.

there are some unresolved feelings and unanswered questions while they sit in silence on the way to the airport, but the airport scene™️ gives them both the closure they need. they're not getting back together, no matter how much one might like, but the tension in the car shows a sliver of hope that they would and i feel like it really emanates in your writing and makes me as a reader reader hope for a happier ending as well. also the shaky "fuck" describes my feelings as i read this as well thanks btw 🥲

and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too. the worst part is there's no definitive point where they felt or "became" okay, because like you said, time is the best medicine and gradually mc just healed. but knowing that hyun is okay and has moved on kind of popped a bubble of reserved feelings and its not necessarily sad its just kind of disheartening or numbing?

idk how i started yapping sm lol i read wayyyy into this HAHAHA. i chose to analyze this instead of study for my finals ☝️🤓 but in conclusion, xian i love falling star and its yet another product of ur mindblowing sexy brain i love you so much bby and i js wanna say im so proud of you <3

when i tell u i saw this while studying (also for my finals) and it had my jaw on the floor my head in the clouds i couldn't focus for the LIFE of me afterwards. WDYM YOU WROTE ME AN ESSAY OF UR THOUGHTS ON MY WRITING? IS IT MY BIRTHDAY?? i love you so fucking much omg. thank u for sending this in my lovely star :') putting my VERY ramble-y response under the cut

"there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one" is soooo poignantly put and so so so correct. honestly him remembering the day and time of the flight was supposed to be a show of pettiness at first, like "you called me unreliable so here i am bitch" lmfaooo but let's be real you're right on the money with his real intentions. he was literally counting down the days until he had an excuse to see mc again.. he was also worried about the flight being so early and wanted to ensure their safety... AGGHHH not me hurting myself thinking ab this couple 😭

"when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot?" I LOVEEEE LOVE LOVE THIS? god u are a genius i adore you. i totally see this being the case. if i may add, maybe mc thinks they're an idiot because they reciprocate hyunjin's yearning even after everything that's transpired. like inward frustration that there are still feelings there? yeah. ur a genius.

about the slivers of hope after the car scene, i apologize for the lack of a happy ending love </3 the fic was definitely challenging (and saddening) but also refreshing to write. i really wanted to explore a couple that is well and truly doomed bc some of the relationships in our lives are doomed, yaknow? and you can recognize that and still have a lot of love for the person at the same time bc human beings are fucking complicated like that. but please consider this my official justification for posting something so depressing

"and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too." FUCKKKK NOT THE WEDDING PICTURE. this just made me frown irl. if i may add.....again..... what if they physically run into each other and that's how mc knows? at the start of the convo mc kinda feels the familiar stirrings again but it's more out of habit than anything. they talk for a bit and it's really pleasant and mc notices he has a ring on his finger and they realize they feel ✨ nothing ✨ about it anymore. but there's just an inkling of remorse remaining about the whole situation. like a passing thought of "maybe in a different universe we would've made things work"....haha.....fuck. BUT mc is happy hyunjin's happy, and mc is happy to have recovered, and life goes on

as for ur entire last paragraph i might actually cry, i'm so glad you love the fic and i truly do appreciate u taking the time to look into my fic this closely so so so much :'( you keep me going, I MEAN IT

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

✨If you get this, someone thinks you are awesome!✨

✨Send this anon to 10 blogs that make you happy when you see them on your dash ✨

Hi anon, anon, anon, anon, anon, and anon. I hope you'll forgive me that I'm just gonna answer this once - but with a li'l twist!

I love that people took time out of their lives to tell me they think I'm awesome; I think they're all awesome, too! Now instead of answering this six times and then sending this on to 10 people anonymously... I'm gonna call out the people I was gonna send this to publicly! With a little bonus...

#1

It has to be @geralts-yenn! I couldn't call myself her rodent bestie if I didn't have this number 1 spot reserved for her. Now, first this bitch wonderful person writes me Ray of Sunshine, a modern-day Melot AU wet dream filled with bikers and beaches and sex, but she also hit us with anahita - a Napoleon smutfic so hot you'll be sweating like a whore in church before you're even through the first paragraph. Go read that. You're welcome.

#2

Next, we've got my co-Dutchie @keanureevesisbae, who is busy with her own projects instead of fanfics nowadays. Still: Go read endeavors and thank me later. Or, if you're into a little RPF and want to live life vicariously through sugarbaby Becky there's also sugar sugar, which is very nice as well... (I just want a man to come take me shopping, okay?)

#3

@deandoesthingstome is an amazing writer, I am often jealous of her way with words, and she is one of the kindest people I know on here. Go read Holiday Angel. It has everything. A luxurious mansion to mentally vacay in for a bit, gentle!Dom!August, forbidden fruit romance. It's a long one, but so, so worth it... Another good one? Why, of course! Hall Pass. Just read it. She also deserves a shoutout to being one of the most supportive readers in this entire fandom

#4

They haven't been on here long, but my tumblrverse would already be so incomplete without @ellethespaceunicorn! Not only did they write Treat Me Like A Slut, which has August just the way we like him; dominant and deep inside you, they also found it necessary to write Make That Kitty Purr. And I agree. It was necessary. Nevermind that my babyboy Mikey gets hurt, I'll forgive Elle for that because this shit was so fucking good.

#5

Next up we've got @peyton-warren, who only recently returned from a little Tumblr hiatus, and I thus haven't spoken that much just yet, but the drabble Arresting and Arrested should be enough to get you to take a look at the rest of her masterlist.

#6

Go check out @mayloma, creator of Behind The Curtain, which has a lovely August and some anal action - which means I'm always game! She's also very sweet. I know I haven't read much of her stuff, but if I ever get my act together and get reading again, Yenn assured me there's some Sy to check out here.

#7

It's no secret I don't particularly like my Sy's in the military, which makes it all the more impressive that @sillyrabbit81 wrote one that I did fall head over heels in love with! He's in Even if you don't mean it, and if you haven't read that, go do it now. And I do mean that. Then, perhaps my all-time favorite fic so far has to be The Fallen Wolves Brotherhood. Maybe I should elaborate on that, probably, but instead I'm just gonna say: Bikers. Proceed with caution, because when that next chapter hits, you're gonna have to pause Criminal Minds. I'm also going to leave the link to Prying here, because it's so fucking dirty it melts my brain a little every time I re-read it.

#8

Now, we all love seeing @angryschnauzer on our dashes, keeping things horny on main and yeeting the occasional fic into the dark void that is this hellsite. For instance Cuddles and Snuggles, an unholy combination of Mike and Charles - something that had never even crossed my mind - and a guest appearance from sugardaddy August. Mad perfection. Now my next rec for her may be a little odd, because she makes it very clear that it's a crack fic; Full Mast. I'm a sucker for everything pirate - and so is reader... just check out Part 2...

#9

@poledancingdinos amazed me with You've got me hooked, which has stripping and sex work and Sy, who is great. I think I read this entire (or almost entire?) series in a single night while I was in bed. Couldn't stop... She's also responsible for Soundtrack of Debauchery, which I still haven't finished, because my ADHD has been a bitch, but I started it, and it was very good!!!

#10

And last but not least: @littlefreya. I'm fairly sure there are still things on her massive masterlist I haven't read, and a lot of which I read in my pre- and early fandom tumblr days, and haven't reblogged (for which I apologize, by the way). The sheer vastness of her masterlist makes it a bit tricky to pick, but let's go for some delightful dark fics; The Devil's Tongue and Destroyer of Angels

SO: The challenge. If you're on this list (or if you're not on this list, this is an open invitation to everyone!) rec some fics! Write an essay, like this one, or don't. Toss a few names and some titles in a list and be done with it, that's fine. Recommend one, or ten, or twenty authors. Hell; Recommend yourself! Recommend your favorite artist, link some art! Spread the love!

[titanicfreija]

Revealed

Freija and Sunny seemed to figure out that Thomas didn't like what he found at all. Mercifully, they didn't ask and instead they left for the crucible as soon as they were settled with Thomas's safety. 

Rex didn't allow Sunny to transfer the data, likely unwilling to share something so intimate but coincidentally sparing Thomas the embarrassment.

While he read and scanned and skimmed, he wondered what kind of attitude he should take about any of it. Freija had been right about how weird it felt to know someone so close and yet never have met them. Him and not. 

He felt sorry for the guy and couldn't help wondering if it counted as self-pity.

And so Thomas, undeniably the warlock he was, wrote a biographical essay on his first life. He might as well let his friends in on the fun. Sunny would love speculating with him. So would Rex.

~

""I wish I was a Titan," says the guy who writes three-page papers for fun," Freija mocked, sitting heavily and studying the paper packet. "Got a short version?"

"No. You'll have to learn this one by osmosis. You do great like that, you'll be fine."

Freija curled up on the couch to let her Ghost perch and read. "Sunny said that whistle blowing was an industry term where someone finds fucky stuff and tells someone important enough to fix it."

"I didn't say it like that."

Thomas couldn't really correct Sunny and he knew Freija probably understood better than it sounded like she did. "Did she tell you that it got people killed?"

"No, but the word "industry", from what I can tell, has pretty much only ever meant getting people killed. Everything driving "industry" mowed people down like I do."

"Yeah, well." He didn't like how close to right she was. "Pretty much. And whistleblowers tend to be the guys that point out the more fucked up things."

The Warlock sat next to Freija, burrowed into the back of the couch, and heaved a long sigh. "How much do you know about the exos?"

She gestured vaguely at Three's wall. "Robot people. Radiolarium fluid. Uhh… I can keep playing word associate in here but it would be better if you just told me what you're getting at."

Thomas nodded and picked up his tea. "The earliest experiments were the stuff of the bad guys in stories, just ridiculously, cartoonishly evil."

Freija nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue. 

"Reflect, if you would, on the fact that the things Braytech did were regarded as miracles."

Freija made a noise, but clearly didn't get it. 

"I failed," he said. "Or if I didn't fail, I didn't stop anything and the perpetrators never saw justice."

"Well. No. He's a head in a basement on a frozen moon," Freija said, but she got it a little better. "So did they kill you? For snitching?"

"Worse." Thomas flipped through the binder he'd made of information. "There's three exposé articles in here about how poor Ambros must be out of his mind, several about investigations turning up nothing. He got fired, but then he got blacklisted. And he tried to tell everyone and that just made him sound crazier. I wouldn't believe this guy, either. Got bullied out of every forum except for conspiracy-based communities."

He looked to Sunny with a curious frown. "What is that server room, anyway? For the data I got, you'd think they were trying to hold memories."

Sunny answered. "Social Media gained and lost popularity a few times after its invention, and most times saw some effort in centralizing somehow. This was one of them. Likely even another Braytech work. Personally, I think Braytech killed you. After several years of one guy still getting attention, even if it was just to roll their eyes, they could have wanted to silence him."

"It's easy to see the despair," Rex countered.

"Wait, what?" Freija said. "Why is it a question? What happened?"

Thomas watched the ceiling  rather than look at any of them. "They found him in his apartment with his brains on the wall. Apparently sitting on his knees with the gun in his mouth when he pulled the trigger. He put up a plastic sheet to make cleanup easier."

"Killed himself?" Freija asked. "Or executed?"

"Everything points to suicide, but that could have been forced on him, too," Thomas said uncomfortably. "I figured you guys would have fun discussing which was more likely. Take the edge off it, hearing you and Sunny talk about it."

"We're gonna have shitty endings," Freija said. "I was massacred and left out, you offed yourself and got a proper funeral. I didn't have to dig myself up. I can't even decide how to feel about that, it just seems like I should be grateful for that luck but it feels like I wasn't mourned, just because no one knew they needed to."

"Yeah, this feels weird," Thomas said. "And here I blamed your thing with your feelings. Figured the discomfort was just that and you were being squirmy about it, but this really does feel weird."

"That's not going to stop," Freija told him. "At least yours doesn't make you feel like you shouldn't exist."

Thomas cocked his head to a side and considered it. "No. I feel like he got a second chance with me. You feel like you shouldn't exist? Like she shouldn't have died?"

"She would be alive right now, probably with a wife and toddler," Freija sighed. 

"She would be in the wilds of Earth, guiding mortals and protecting her sisters," Sunny argued lightly. "She had no guarantee of a long life. It's just that her killers weren't who we expected." She turned pointedly back to Thomas. "You feel like Ambros's second chance for what?"

Thomas laughed and glanced at Rex. "To spend at least some of my life building something good instead of trying to stop the inexorable evil. Let other people, the ones built for it, fight to defend what I'm building." He looked directly at Rex. "Like letting the Titan do her job while I rewire a power adapter."

"I'm moving my vote to autocide," Sunny said softly. "Found a coinciding event that probably hurt him badly enough to do it."

"Oh?" Freija rolled her head back. 

Thomas gestured at his information packet. "He died maybe a few months after the announcement of the Exo program's wider availability, and several articles about the painful progress and loss they persevered through– essentially proving what he said to be true, except they painted it to look like things that happened to Braytech instead of the people they did it to. They vaguely mentioned internal sabotage, and that's the closest they get to mentioning me. There's only a little in the way of ethics discussions, but it looks like, from the sound of everything I found in any archives, the general reaction was that you can't make an omelet without cracking some eggs."

"What?" Freija laughed. "Where do you get these lines?"

"Ambros liked old books." He wagged his datapad. "Apparently. It means that there's only so much you can do without damage, and sometimes that damage is worth the end result. So all the torture and death were worth Exos, as far as the general public was concerned."

"Ah." Freija turned her eyes to the ceiling. "Yeah, that's fucked up. So, going by timing, he probably did?"

"Yeah. Screamed until his voice dried up. Then everyone started singing it. He couldn't take it anymore." Thomas looked skyward and frowned silently. 

Freija waited for him to look back but he didn't. "Did you want me to leave you alone?" 

"Nah. Glad you're here. You don't have to talk." 

She nodded slowly, but clearly didn't understand. Sunny settled into the crook of her neck and shoulder, and she looked to the information packet he'd given them. 

"He had kids?" Freija asked, stealing a look at his face but refusing to meet his eye. She couldn't keep the horror out of her expression.

He didn't mind– inviting her here for sensitivity would make him a fool. "Two sons. They abandoned him after a while. I didn't track the line, I figured that it wouldn't give me anything I wanted, no matter what I found. If they're still alive, they're so many generations down and post-collapse, there's only guessing by names. If they're not, then I find out my bloodline ended. Just better to leave that mystery alone."

"I guess I got lucky," Freija mumbled. "No questions here."

Thomas sipped his tea as he mulled the thoughts. "See, we feel opposite, there. I would have been sad to find out about the end of my bloodline."

"I feel like I'd have been abandoning them, dying and leaving them behind," she said with a single shoulder shrug. 

He nodded and smiled again. "I kind of like how differently we feel about this, it's a fun study."

Freija brushed him off with a low grunt. Flipping through the packet, she found something that made her sneer. "Promising," she quoted scathingly. "Yeah, promising. Talking about your rise and downfall. Same magazine that ran the exposé about how crazy he was. What bullshit." She tossed the packet on the table. "Yeah, this kicks me in the sense of justice. Wanna go shoot Clovis's labs on Europa in front of him?"

Thomas smiled, seeing the affection for what it was, and he stood up. "Normally, I wouldn't, but I think I'll see if helping you satisfy this urge will make me feel better."

Request

Communication

The Database

Something Else

Campfire Stories

Jealousy 

Bickering 

Revealed

[landwriter]

Sooo I wrote this while half-asleep like a week ago and wanted to read it over in the morning before sending (to see if it, you know, made any sense), and then I forgot about it until coming across it on my notes today, so here it is now:

Remembered another thing: having two different verbs for "to be" ("ser" and "estar"). This isn’t exclusive to Portuguese (I know it exists in Spanish, at least), but it's something that English doesn't have and that can give trouble to English speakers learning Portuguese (partly because we suck at coming up with simple general rules for when to use which that cover every last usage of "to be" and why in many cases only one is acceptable. I’ve explained it as “ser” is for things that are permanent, that are part of the subject’s essence – only for someone to promptly point out that you must use “ser” for professions, and people change profession all the time and someone’s work is hardly part of their essence. So Idk, if anyone’s read a really good explanation please send me a link so I have something to refer people to).

The lack of this distinction doesn’t seem, to me, to make English more ambiguous. At least I’m hard pressed to come up with an example where despite the context I couldn't tell if an "is" meant "é" or "está".

Out of context though.

"It's cold here where I live." Well is it cold now in particular, or is it a generally cold place?

"I'm happy." Is this a general statement about the overall condition of your life, or are you experiencing the feeling of happiness at this moment?

But while in context it's not ambiguous, I feel like it's a distinction that English speakers don't really make inside their minds. Like, they’re using the same word, not two different verbs which just happen to sound the same and have the same spelling. I certainly don't think about it when speaking English. But when speaking Portuguese, it's inscribed into the language.

Anyway, I just thought it’s a neat difference you might like to know about. I don't really have a way to work this into a fic. Maybe a situation where Hob wants to underline that something "não é", it merely "está"? Or the opposite? Eu estou triste, mas eu sou feliz? Mais do que estar feliz com você, eu sou feliz com você?

Or some wordplay? Ele está sonhando, em um certo sentido, mas, mais do que isso, ele é o próprio sonhar. He is (está) dreaming, in a sense, but more than that, he is (é) the dreaming itself. (fun fact, we use the infinitive, not the gerund, when we want to use a verb as a noun).

There's potential in the breaking of the rules, I suppose. Like, species is a "ser" case. Always. I am (sou) human. Buuut Dream being Dream, he isn't (não é) human. But maybe he can be (estar) human, in the time he spends with Hob. (Now I've entered playing with language territory. I wouldn't risk something like this in, say, a college admission essay or a Portuguese test).

Unrelated to any of the above, Flower King!!! Thank you for writing it. It is utterly breathtaking and so inspiring I spent an entire afternoon working on a new fairy tale WIP instead of working on the WIP I meant to work on. Like, I wrote two paragraphs of it and then opened a new document and spent hours just doing a new thing instead.

!!!! This is incredible, and I love love love your examples. There are SO many beautiful possibilities in breaking the rules and wordplay in a given language - that's one of my favourite sort of uses of language, is using grammar or any other form of linguistic, like, expectations and structure to say something. What a great case of something that (to me) is so elegant in the source language and can only be translated with tonal emphasis or extra words in English. I innately understand your example of Dream's relation to being human - I remember debating over capitalization for the same ends: his waking body vs his Waking body. Is love (He is in love, I am in love with you, It is love, etc.) a case that can use both? Can you use ser vs estar to distinguish between, say, an act of seduction versus a permanent state of being seduced by someone? Can you write shit like 'I was seduced; I was seduced.' or analogs? Because that's SO fucking sexy.

I feel like it's a distinction that English speakers don't really make inside their minds. Like, they’re using the same word, not two different verbs which just happen to sound the same and have the same spelling.

For me, at least - one representative of 400 million native speakers, and ppl's minds most certainly work differently around language, caveat, caveat, etc - I do sometimes feel a distinction between a specific & general state of being. Especially re: feelings. It comes out in tone, but I also think we use a lot of things that might not seem like obvious context in low context situations. These are probably super regional too (See how Canadians say yes by saying "No, yeah" and no by saying "Yeah, no", but also say yes by saying "Yeah, no, [yeah]" or any other positive marker. "Yeah, no, for sure." and "No, yeah, totally" are both agreements. Very intuitive!!) But take "I'm happy." - the context there is usually in the grammatical form used in the question - if you ask how's it going?, it's a now-in-particular answer. If you use present perfect or whatever the fuck it's called, you know, the auxiliary verb nonsense, and ask how's it been going? it's an in-general answer. It's also in the answers: I'm good is something you say when you've just fallen over and people are concerned, vs. I've been good when you've just seen friends for the first time in months and they're concerned. But that only comes up to the present and doesn't necessarily imply a future of good-being - I'm not sure if ser is different in that respect.

Are the two verbs used liberally to distinguish between temporary versus non-temporary emotional states like in your first example? Is it a common mode of expression to use both in one sentence? Can you use language like and instead of but? Is it seen as inherently contradictory like a transliteration would be in English? Because I'm absolutely feral for this. I love how effectively it holds meaning - to be able to say 'I'm shitty (right now) but I'm happy (in general) with nothing more than a different verb instead of having to add context. I wonder if it affects or enables a different mode of emotional expression?

Here, when people ask how you are and things are temporarily crap - in a banal way, like job stress or home repairs or exams - you instead generally make these insane understatements that serve to provide implicit subtext (things are actually shit), and also underscore the perspective that your emotional state now is not the same as your outlook on life (but you're still chugging along). i.e. "Oh, it's been [intentional pause]...busy."; "Not six feet under!"; "Things have been a little tough!". If you just said "I'm not happy," that would actually stop people dead in their tracks. Often we sub out the subject (I) when mentioning the less positive emotion and then stick it back in for the positive one we're couching it in. It softens things: "It's been stressful, but I'm stoked for winter break." We're trying to navigate the good and the bad in a linguistically and culturally acceptable way. What's it like in Portuguese? I would sort of love it to be both linguistically elegant and culturally normal in English to just communicate the complexities of our lives within the scope of a short exchange. We're not a country with loads of "It's bad and it's good and I'm here" idioms. But I know they're out there! Somewhere!

As someone who is generally Hob-levels of delighted (by life, my community, my friends, the mountains, a good tea or a bird, etc.,) but recently totalled my car which genuinely fucken bites, this bizarre little dance has been coming up a LOT at holiday get-togethers these past couple weeks hahaha. How have I been? I am* stressed to the tits, I am** happy. Happy to see you, happy to be here, happy. It is a part of the subject's essence! I WANT TWO VERBS! Please!!! *estar **ser

I'm so in love with the power of this - even if they've got rules that baffle Anglos - the way you've at least generally explained it is SO cool to me. I love the examples!! It's SUCH a neat difference. Am constantly delighted and humbled by the knowledge you guys bring to my ask box. Thank you for this rad Christmas Eve gift, dude. <3

Also thank you so much re: Flower King - that's exactly how I wrote it too so I'm glad it's contagious hahaha! Thank you so much for reading it. It's my pleasure to write and share stuff <3<3<3 I look forward to your fairy tale (and would love to hear more about it!)

[cosmererambles]

Sorry I've been so Inactive

I've been struggling with depression for over a week now, and it's only just now loosening it's grip on me. I'm sure you are all aware of how excited I was for my Kelsier essay. I was so sure it was great, and I was PROUD I finished it. There were times working on it I felt "What's the point?" and wanted to give up.

I kept telling myself Kelsier would egg me on, and I had a lot of supportive people also doing the same. I finished it, and I WAS proud of the final product, just a little disappointed I couldn't fit in A LOT of my analytical studies. I posted a link to it in the Discord, and...I found out a lot of people thought it was terrible. They worded it well, but I didn't recieve a lot of compliments, instead it was a lot of constructive but harsh criticism about the essay, it's structure, and other things that perhaps an English student would know, but not I. I was told it's not really an essay, it's too long, too many quotes. (I included a lot of quotes as a way to corner every counter argument.) etc, etc etc. It hurt. A lot. I got defensive. I lashed out. I was very, VERY upset. The discord doesn't engage with me about my writing now. It's hurtful, since I really do think my writing rocks and I think people would appreciate it. I've been stuck. REALLY stuck. I saw everything I wrote through lenses that portrayed it as trash. I'm still shaky, but I've gotten my groove back. BPD really kicked my ass too. My brain telling me lies about people. It still does, it will never stop doing that. I can turn into a monster, and it's so horrible. I just...felt like I needed to explain why I've had a content slump, and to sum it up, it's because I feel like shit.