#wrote this for hiv awareness

[mariacallous]

Georgian President Salome Zourabichvili has condemned the “horrifying murder�� of transgender woman Kesaria Abramidze, who died from multiple stab wounds in her home on Wednesday.

Abramidze, a well-known 37-year-old model, was found dead by her neighbors, who were alerted by screams coming from her apartment. A 26-year-old man, allegedly her ex-partner, was arrested after CCTV footage showed him fleeing the building 15 minutes after his arrival.

“Horrifying murder! Rejection of humanity! This should be a sobering call … Hatred drenched in hatred, which weakens and divides us and gives a hand to an enemy to manipulate us,” Zourabichvili wrote on her personal Facebook page. “I hope the death of this beautiful young woman will make us more humane, more Christian. I hope this tragedy will not be in vain.”

Abramidze’s killing comes just a day after the Georgian parliament passed its anti-LGBTQ+ law, despite strong warnings from the European Union that it would harm Georgia’s EU accession. Zourabichvili had opposed the legislation, dubbing it a “Russian law” designed to “divide society.”

Adopted under the guise of protecting family values and minors, the legislation, among other things, bans medical treatments for changing gender, “LGBT propaganda” and same-sex marriages.

The EU’s top diplomat, Josep Borrell, had warned that the law “undermines the fundamental rights of the Georgian people.”

“I call on Georgia to withdraw this legislation, which further derails the country from its EU path,” he wrote on X on Wednesday.

However, Georgian Prime Minister Irakli Kobakhidze defended the bill, describing it as a tool to improve the perception of Europe among Georgians as a place of “traditional and Christian values,” rather than one of “LGBT propaganda.”

“This law ensures that a man should be called a man and a woman should be called a woman,” Kobakhidze said on Wednesday.

Double pressure

Gender and gender identity intolerance remain the leading motives of hate crimes in Georgia, according to the Georgian Prosecutor’s 2023 report. Out of 1,218 persons charged with hate crimes last year, 1,164 were charged on the ground of gender-based hate crimes.

“The majority of defendants charged with hate crimes are adult men and the majority of the victims of hate crimes are adult women,” says the report.

After Abramidze’s death made headlines, Temida, an organization that helps Georgia’s LGBTQ+ community with shelter, psychological and other health services, launched a hotline to offer psychological aid.

“We have received up to 16 calls since yesterday,” said Beka Gabadadze, the chairperson of Temida, adding that callers had asked: “If she was killed, someone so successful and well-off, what will happen to us?”

There have been three other high-profile murders of transgender women in Georgia in the past decade.

Temida, along with other service providers for the LGBTQ+ community, is facing a two-fold threat to its work in Georgia.

The Russian-leaning Georgian Dream government recently adopted its “foreign agent bill,” requiring organizations receiving more than 20 percent of their funding from abroad to register as “serving the interests of a foreign power.”

Civil society groups have argued that the law allows the government to disclose an unjustified amount of information about their staff and beneficiaries.

Gabadadze fears Temida won’t be able to operate under this double pressure and the organization will be forced to close down if the government demands it share its beneficiaries’ personal information.

“This would mean I’d need to out people. It’s better for us to close down than disclose this information,” he said.

He elaborated that the adoption of the anti-LGBTQ+ law may contribute to the prevalence of HIV in the country, as their awareness-raising campaigns could be interpreted as “LGBT propaganda” under the new law.

“Our services aimed at HIV prevention require outreach. We won’t be able to do this efficiently, which could lead to a rise of HIV cases,” he said.

Last year Georgia’s annual LGBTQ+ Pride event was evacuated by the police after hundreds of counterprotesters stormed the site.

[remembertheplunge]

We cannot unsee what we have already seen--the 1980's

April 28, 1988

It’s now a Thursday—

Some post scripts from somewhere in the “last” night and from yesterday by Judge David Vander Wall “The 1970’s don’t seem that long ago. The 80’s are just passing me by…” DA Mike  Stone replied “The 70’s weren’t worth anything anyway.”

I watched last evening “a A Walk Through the 20th Century with Bill Moyer. The 1920’s" :

Flappers and fun flanked by Fraud and Famine. Poo Poe Pee Do! The truth was that the poor (in the 20’s) didn’t realize they were poor until long after they weren’t!. They had a general feel of contentment despite their financial situation.

What about us in the 1980's? In the KPFA Radio Folio program guide,Life in 1968 is compared with life in 1988. The 80’s were condemned as the 1950’s relived. 1988 Yuppies are the men in charcoal grey suits. Ahhhh! But, what bridged the years is the depth of awareness setting in. We cannot unsee what has been seen. We close only to heal and tp grow internally. The individual reform we know is the only true change. Only true “life” takes place on an individual basis. More and more we learn "..oh..when I had the Mercedes and miserable marriage I was poor. Now, I am…,Me!" 

To me, 1980 or 1981 were just about like 1988 in terms of styles, attitudes, money, etc. Pretty much the same. Music hasn’t changed much. Nothing has really. And yet, imperceptibly, everything has irrevocably changed, improved. Come a bit more into its own. 

Only you, the future, may be able to give it perspective. What, if anything, do the 80’s mean to you? Don’t forget us. We are a part of your past and thus a part of you.

I offer up this diary entry to you as a revelation of one person- traveler’s time notes written during  his time-space journey.

End of entry

Notes: 9/21/2024

I love the fact taht I included the line “We cannot unsee what has been seen” in the above 1988 entry. 

That has been my fight song passing through these turbulent times where the Republican Right is attempting to cancel our collective progressive progress. They can ban and burn our books and the Supreme Court can strip us of our rights. But. We have seen. We know. We will continue to live our lives and assert our  values despite and because of their orders. We have seen. We will act. We have agency.

I also think that it’s interesting that I said in the above entry that there was not much difference between life in 1980 or 81 and life in 1988. In 1980, I was not yet a. Lawyer, I was way in the closet and Aids was not yet publicly known about. By 1988, HIV  had been  known about for 7 years in which time it decimated many lives. In 1986, I began working as a volunteer helping men with Aids through their illness and death. I had been a lawyer for 7 years by 1988 .I had been emersed in the heavens and hells of criminal law defense. I had married in 1982 a woman who I left in 1984 as I began to emerge as a gay man. By 1988, I was fully out. So, actually I was a much more evolved person in 1988 than I had been in 1980. But, maybe because the evolution took place slowly over  years, I wrote about the decade as if very little had happen.

Judge Van Der Wall was a judge in Modesto California. I spent my 40th birthday in a murder trial in his court. His clerk, Linda, gave me a happy birthday cup cake that birthday morning in court! They have both since died. I just thought Judge Van Der Wall and Mike Stone’s  take on the 70’s and 80’s was interesting. Time was  just passing them by. Have you noticed the no one now in the mid 2020’s ever talks about the 20’s? I mean the 2020’s. We are living it . We can’t see it This now has no name . It just  is. But, I imagine in 20 years, they will be screaming about “The Outrageous 20’s!"

Flappers were the early forerunners of the women’s empowerment movement. They wore shorter dresses than their predecessors had and advanced women’s rights through word and action. 

Bill Moyers was a Public TV host. He did stories on interesting people and events past and present.

Per Oxford Languages Dictionary, a Yuppie was "a young person with a well-paid job and a fashionable lifestyle."

[jacquiarno]

It’s Bisexuality Visibility Month (also Suicide Awareness Month), and the biphobia has been constant and intense, even in our own bi spaces, mostly from fellow LGBTQIA+ people.

Bi women have been told they are tainted for being with men, that we are dirty and dick obsessed. We’ve been told we are perverted fetishists by both cis and trans lesbians, with even gay men joining in on the insults, with one even threatening violence towards bi women if they come near lesbians. We even got told we deserve to be abused, raped, and murdered by our male partners because that’s what we deserve for dating men.

Bi men are being accused again for being HIV carriers, with gay men saying they are only good for sex because they will end up leaving them for women. One trans man said he would kill himself if a man started dating a woman after him, not leave him for one but just start dating again and that person being a woman.

I haven’t seen insults directly about non-binary bisexuals, but I’m sure there would be and a lot of hate lumps us all together. All this hates stings me but I can’t imagine the pain of all this for non-binary, trans women, and trans men dealing with it all, and it makes me so disappointed and angry that fellow trans people in this community are hurting them.

Pride Month a lesbian wrote “I wish god would eradicate all the bisexuals” while another wrote “For Pride Month let all the bi people disappear” with both having thousands of likes and comments agreeing. Now during Bi Visibility Month, a non-binary lesbian with feminist in their profile posted “Happy bi visibility month, I hope they find a cure soon 💖”. While continuing to mock us after.

Our allies and so-called LGBTQIA+ advocates have been silent and have even participated in bierasure, laughing at us when we point it out, saying “It’s not that serious.” “Lol the bis are getting upset over nothing again”. Only the bisexual advocates and pages have spoken out against the hate.

The B in LGBTQIA+ is suppose to be for bisexual but this community says and treats us as awfully as the bigots do to all of us. Bisexual is the sexuality that is attracted to two or more genders, that we have the ability to love anyone regardless of their gender. But we’re treated as greedy, perverted, hyper sexual, unfaithful, which from bigots you understand and usually brush off, but from those within the community who go through similar prejudice and should understand, sharing the same ignorant mindset.

These spaces are suppose to be our safe havens as well, but are just as dangerous. We try making our own spaces and even that is invaded by these people, we are beyond exhausted. We need the other members of the community that aren’t biphobic to speak out more and shut these people and this hate down. Because the lack of empathy from this community is frightening and all this in-fighting will allow the bigots to pick us a part more easily.

[doyou000me]

Adaptation Concerns

I found out about Love In The Big City through this book club, so the very first thing I knew about it was that it is going to be adapted into a movie and a series. Throughout my reading, one question has therefore been a constant presence in the back of my mind: how are they going to adapt this? 

Already after reading Part I, I had concerns and wrote in my notes that “This seems to be the part they'll make the movie adaptation of which raises the question of if they'll be able to keep it as raw and unfiltered or if they'll romanticise it.” This is after reading part I, before we got into the truly heavy stuff. 

When this week’s reading questions popped up, I realised that my concerns for how the adaptations will be done are clouding my expectations for both the movie and the series. Don’t get me wrong - I am very much looking forwards to seeing the movie and the series, to see how they handle the source material and to get to discuss it with you all, but when @bengiyo asks “What parts of the book are you most anticipating in the forthcoming adaptations?” I can’t think of anything. I can't think of a single thing, because what I am anticipating is disappointment. 

Now, maybe I’m just tired and cranky and pessimistic. Maybe I’ve just been let down by one BL series too many in the past few months. I am feeling like a party pooper, but after receiving an ask on the subject from @archiveofmystuff (and this is your answer to that ask, btw), I realised I’m not the only one thinking of these things. I am honestly concerned about how the movie and the series will handle the source material, and the more I think about it, the more concerned I get. The reasons are many, so let me break it down a bit, starting with a couple of things that concern both adaptations and then delving into the movie adaptation and the series adaptation separately.  

[putting the rest under the break because it's long and also spoilers]

Heavy (Taboo) Themes 

As we’ve discussed in several posts in the past few weeks, the book handles a lot of really heavy themes. There is homophobia, terminal illness, attempted suicide, stigma and discrimination and HIV - and that’s just me rattling off the first few things that come to mind. All of these topics are not just complicated, but also sensitive. Some of them have been handled in Korean series and movies before (terminal illness and suicide, for example), some have not. Not that I can claim to have complete knowledge of what happens in Korean series and movies, but I have never seen themes such as HIV and the stigma and discrimination around it. 

Would a mainstream Korean audience be ready for a movie/series depicting such themes? Coming from an outside perspective looking in, I do not think so. As we’ve discussed in part III (for example in this post by @stuffnonsenseandotherthings) many of these topics are still seen as taboo in Korea. I am therefore very concerned about how they’ll tackle these subjects in the adaptations - if they’ll tackle them at all. Korean series do not have a pristine past when it comes to representation of queer characters. Seeing that the author himself is the screenwriter for the series adaptation gives me some hope, but not enough to assuage my worries. They might make a fantastic job of it. They might make an honest attempt and fumble it. They might remove parts. I do not know, and all I can do is wait and watch the movie and series when they come out. But they are going to have to tread very carefully, and they are going to have to be very aware of what decisions they make in the adaptations. 

Mainstream Reception

How the movie and series are going to be received by the mainstream audience is another worry of mine. Especially because they (the producers, writers, directors, investors and everyone else involved in making these adaptations) have to be aware that, to some extent, these adaptations are going to be viewed by a larger mainstream audience. Why? First off, the source material is a prize-winning novel that has gained some attention. This alone could lead to a wider interest among the general audience. However, what really makes me think the movie and series adaptations are going to go mainstream is the choice of actors. 

The movie is headed by Kim Go Eun. She’s got several main roles under her belt, perhaps most notably in the incredibly popular series Goblin from 2016 but she has also been the leading actress of several major productions since. Long story short: she’s famous. In the movie adaptation she’ll be playing Jaehee. With her, she’ll have Steve Noh who’ll be playing “her gay best friend” and Kang Ha Neul (I haven’t found who Kang will be playing, but my assumption is that he’ll be Jaehee’s boyfriend). Neither Noh nor Kang are newbies, and they’ve both been in large productions before. 

The series seems to have Nam Yoon Su playing the main role of Young, and Nam isn’t a new face either. He gained recognition in the Korean series Extracurricular in 2020, and has since been busy. Alongside Nam there are several familiar faces, such as Lee Se Hee, Jin Ho Eun and Kwon Hyuk (who, interestingly, was also in the Korean BL series The New Employee). As with the movie adaptation, none of these actors and actresses are newbies - they are more or less known faces. 

My point? Adding known actors and actresses to a movie and/or series production is going to bring interest from a larger mainstream audience. This brings me back to the previous point about the heavy themes in the source material - will a mainstream audience be ready for a movie/series with such themes? Will actors and actresses of some level of fame be willing to put that fame on the line, with the risk that the movie/series could be badly received because of the general view of such taboo themes? Will the production be willing to take the risk, or will they cater to that mainstream audience and aim to create a more palatable product? Again, I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see. 

The Movie Adaptation

The movie is going to be an adaptation based on part I with Jaehee, which initially seems like a wise choice. There’s a lot going on in the book, potentially too much to do it all justice in one movie, so to choose one part of the book seems like a good idea. The focus, however, concerns me. 

As mentioned above, Kim Go Eun who’ll be playing Jaehee in the movie adaptation is potentially the most famous person out of all the actors involved in these two adaptations. Kang Ha Neul who (I think) will play the husband-to-be is also quite famous, while Steve Noh appears to be slightly less so (please do contradict me if I’m wrong, this is based on my own impressions from watching series as well as the MyDramaList profiles). What does this tell me? The money and fame is invested into the straight characters of the story. 

And the synopsis? 

“The movie depicts the love and separation of the free-spirited young generation, the free-spirited Jae Hee and her gay best friend Heung Soo who share a house together.”

Am I just being picky, or is Jaehee introduced as the front and centre of the film? 

My concern here, based on the choice of actors and various synopsis that I’ve read, is that they’re going to straighten out the movie. They’re going to make Jaehee the main character, which is going to make for a heteronormative story with traditional values. My pessimism is telling me that we’re getting “lost young woman living with her gay friend (le gasp!) finally settles down with a proper young man and finds happiness in marriage”. Young (in the movie renamed Heung Soo, another clue that they’re going to be changing things) is going to get sidelined and left behind, and while that is the theme and tragic end of part I in the book, it’s going to be proof that the gays don’t deserve to be happy and in love in the movie. This, for me, would be the worst case scenario and all the alarm bells in my head are going off and I do hope I am wrong. 

Please, I beg, surprise me. 

The Series Adaptation 

As earlier mentioned, the series adaptation has the authors as the screenwriter, which is very promising! As mentioned above, the risks with famous actors and a mainstream audience applies here as well, but I want to address two additional concerns: genre expectations and narrative structure. 

Genre expectations I am curious to see how they’re going to market the series adaptation. Korea has been putting out more and more BL series lately, no doubt catching on to the success of Thai BL series the last few years and wanting to cash in on the popularity, so they might decide to market Love In The Big City the series as a BL, which would come with certain expectations from the audience. Regardless of the marketing, large parts of the audience will not have read the book before seeing the series, and there’s the risk that they’ll approach it as one would a normal BL series. That is, I suspect they’re going to expect romance, BL-style kisses/sex scenes and a happy ending. 

That is not Love In The Big City.

There is romance, yes, but it is tragic romance. It doesn’t work out. Young does not get to skip happily into the sunset with his partner - not to mention that there are several partners and failed relationships, which does not happen in the world of BL. And the sex? Most BL-fans will likely expect a sweet/passionate kiss, some will hope for an expertly composed bed scene of deep sighs and romantic lighting, intimate touches and blissed out expressions transitioning to some cuddling and pillow talk. Now, I’m not trying to throw shade, but that’s not how sex is depicted in the book. 

In the book? 

“We’d gone at it a little too hard - there was bleeding.” (134) 

Yeah. Not happening in your regular BL-series. 

As I thought already after reading part I, this book is unfiltered. It is raw. It is real. There is no romanticisation to be had. And I am worried that the production will choose to filter it to cater to the expectations of the audience, or the audience will react negatively to the rawness of it and reject it. Again, I hope I’m wrong. 

Narrative structure  Judging from this post that @my-rose-tinted-glasses put up, they’re going to cover the whole book in the series adaptation. As already mentioned, that’s a lot to cover, but this is a series and so they have more time to cover more ground. 

But the book is not written as one story, it is deliberately written in four parts that are connected but not structured as a single narrative. I have been reading it as parts of the author’s own life, or at least more or less inspired by the author’s own life. They’re bits of reality put on paper, written as looks into a life lived. While some editing and adding has surely been done, the parts are not structured with the clear narrative arc and conclusion that stories tend to have - because it’s not a fictional story. 

I think the book is better for it. I appreciate how real it is. But how will they carry it over into a series? Will they follow the book closely and let the eight episodes correspond to the four parts? Or will they weave it together into one cohesive story with a narrative beginning, middle and end? If they change it, it’ll be at the risk of losing some of the real rawness of the book. If they don’t change it, it’ll again risk alienating a large portion of the viewers. 

I obviously do not know what they’re going to do with these adaptations. With what I know of the audiences - both the larger mainstream audience in Korea and the more specific BL-invested audience - I think that large portions of the audience will be unable to appreciate Love In The Big City, so I believe that the production will choose to make changes in the adaptations. What those changes will be and what the final product will look like, only time will tell. In my worst moments, I've been convinced they're going to pick out the “good parts” and piece together a perfectly generic romance, offencive in its inoffensiveness, all smooth where the book is crinkled with the raw complexity of real experiences. As I’ve said before: I hope I’m wrong. 

Final thoughts lifted from my notes: 

I am equal parts overjoyed that they're really investing in these adaptations and worried that they'll scrub it clean. 

They're either going to create a generic romance that's not worthy of the name, or they're going to make history. 

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

Freddie Mercury with his beloved cats over the years

Extract from article

Cat Fancy – Freddie & His Best Friends

By Gail Flug - 2003

In many people’s eyes, Freddie Mercury was one of the world’s most dynamic and charismatic rock frontmen.

Yet for the man who had the love of countless fans, he loved his cats most. Peter Freestone, Mercury’s personal assistant and cook, wrote in his book “Freddie Mercury” that his boss put as much importance on them as any human in his life.

Jacky Smith, who has run the Official Queen Fan Club for 21 years, said, “Most of them were from rescue centers. We have a charity [in the United Kingdom] called The Blue Cross, which takes care of sick animals. Freddie got at least two from them, if not more.”

According to Smith, cat toys were sent from fans to the office from time to time, as the cats’ photos occasionally appeared in the club newsletter. Plenty of fans have also named their own cats Freddie, a gesture that, Smith said, would have flattered the singer.

Mercury’s first cats were Tom and Jerry, who he and then-girlfriend Mary Austin brought in during the early days of the band. She kept them when their relationship ended in the late ‘70s, yet he still considered them his, as the album dedication for “Mr. Bad Guy” proves. Austin, who remained his closest friend, gave him a lovely longhaired bluepoint he named Tiffany.

The most famous feline of the Mercury clan is Delilah, a large, tri-colored tabby who was adopted in late 1987. As the lyrics to her song state, and Freestone’s book confirms, she took over the house and pretty much did whatever she pleased. “She was a real character, that lady!” agreed Smith. “Delilah was just kind of funny. She was a bit of a bully to the others, but was always first on his lap, first for food.” In turn, Mercury favored her as well, picking her up more than the others. She would also fun to him for safety when the other cats would gang up on her. She loved sleeping at the foot of his bed, or in the laundry baskets.

“They were all well-loved and cared for and mostly ‘normal’ pussycats,” Smith said. “They did get ordinary cat food at times, but mostly it was fresh chicken and fish prepared for them. I also remember he used to talk to them on the phone if he was away for a long time.”

Freestone also wrote that each cat got its own Christmas stocking filled with treats and toys. They had full run of the house and were permitted outside during the day to roam the gardens. There were the occasional territorial markings on the soft furnishings for his staff to clean up, and the quick trips to the vet if a cat showed the slightest hint of illness.

No one except for his closest friends knows how long Mercury was aware he was HIV-positive, although both Freestone and Smith believe that his cats knew. Their unconditional love gave him great comfort and company in his final days, and Mercury would never deny them admittance to his bedroom. Said Smith, “Cats have that fantastic sixth sense… I imagine that they knew he wasn’t well and spent more time with him. It’s just the thing cats would do.”

Before Mercury passed away on Nov. 24, 1991, he made sure all of his loved ones would be taken care of. “They all stayed at Garden Lodge with Mary, which is where they still are today,” said Smith. “I have heard reports of Delilah being spotted on top of the wall occasionally.”

It’s clear she still rules the house. Freddie wouldn’t have wanted it any other way

Freddie Mercury with his beloved cats over the years

📸 Photos from Mary Austin’s personal collection

'Delilah Delilah

Oh my oh my oh my you're unpredictable

You make me so very happy

When you cuddle up and go to sleep beside me

And then you make me slightly mad

When you pee all over my Chippendale suite'

🔸 Extract from'Delilah' track by Freddie Mercury

(taken from 'Innuendo' album released in 1991)

Delilah his beloved cat 😻

[petitmonde]

I'm sharing Jade's prom story from her Twitter thread. You can read it here and share it around. I'm putting it under a read more since it's quite long, but it's definitely worth reading every single word that she wrote. If you want to read more or get involved with LGBTQ+ rights, I have linked a few organisations that do great work in the Philippines.

LGBTQ+ Organisations in the Philippines

Bahaghari – national alliance of LGBT+ advocates, organisations, and formations. You can sign the petition for their anti discrimination bill SOGIE right here.

LoveYourself – an organisation that promotes HIV awareness, testing, and treatment. They also have resources available for those seeking help to transition.

UP Babaylan – The oldest LGBT+ student organisation in the Philippines.

LakanBini Advocates Pilipinas – A network of transgender organisations. They focus on health, psychosocial well-being, and human rights.

Rainbow Rights – A nonprofit NGO that focuses on legal literacy and empowerment with respect to SOGIE laws and policies.

Proud Campaign Philippines – Not only do they raise awareness of SOGIE, but they also help Filipinos in need with food, clothes, toiletries, and other necessities.

🩶 State Of The Dollification Address 🩶

I have 3 prom stories that I’ve experienced and here to tell all of y’all! I am now using my voice and platform to raise awareness, for humanity’s maturity and for the betterment of inclusive schools. ‼️

I want to say to ALL schools out there! No matter what Sexual Orientation, Gender Indentity & Expression. Students has the right to have equal knowledge and experience with schools and campus. As long as oppression and discrimination is still happening in today’s world, this is a sign that we are not yet treated as equal.

#PassSOGIEBillNow #TransYouthAreValid #TransWomenAreWomen #TransLivesMatter

#DollShenanigans #DollDomination #Dollification #SuSos #TeamM1ssJadeSo

My first ever Prom that I’ve attended way back Feb 13, 2016. I got invited by a guy from an all boys school. He sponsored everything from the gown, ticket and transportation. Everything went well, I attended their prom as the WOMAN THAT I AM. It was magical, fun and romantic. I greeted some people in the event, ate, had a romantic dance with the guy and also partied a little bit, we went home safe (take note: our driver is his Dad). So happy with this experience I got to live just by being me.

I met some Queer people and some of them are now Trans Women from that school, last year 2022. They told me that I was so iconic, that the administrators, teachers, pastors are triggered by my presence that night. They had to call every Queer people in their school just to have a prayer/mass session to pray the gay away. It was so sad, they couldn’t fight, they just told me that they love and look up to me for my bravery and courage from that night. I hope they are now healed from that trauma.

Going back to March 2016, for our Moving-Up Ball in my school. Everyone is excited as we are about to enter Senior High School (the first batch of SHS) and Junior High School is about to end. I’m very excited about it because it’s going to be our last Ball/Party of our whole batch. I am thinking to myself that this is going to be my coming out moment as a Trans Woman. I immediately thought of wearing a dress and wearing a wig because my hair is too short for the vision of my full bloom woman.

Days before the Ball, I asked my adviser politely if I can go to the event wearing a dress as the woman that I am. She said “No, naiintindihan naman namin ang gusto mo, “Girl” na nga ang tawag ko sayo (as tinatawag niya kong “bakla” before) pero sa college mo na yan gawin, masyado ka pang bata. Malay mo mag-iba pa panananaw mo at maging lalake ka talaga (she laughed)”. I cried it out going home that day. Translation: “No, we understand what you want, I’m already calling you “Girl” (as she calls me “Gay” before). Do it in college instead, you are too young. Maybe you might change your perspective and become a man one day (she laughed).

The day of the event started… I did my friend’s makeup, as I am a makeup artist before. I started doing their makeup during lunch time and ended really well. My sister and mom helped by putting their dresses and curling their hair. 5 girl friends of mine are very happy with the results. I have a lot of memories with them I cherish and miss them now. Hi Aira, Ela, Elriva, Kirstine & Lubna.

I was so tired and had to glam myself up too. I wore a 30 inch black silky straight wig, white cocktail dress from my sister and black thigh high boots.

We went to the moving-up ball with my friend’s driver. My mom joined us because she wanted to explain something. As we got into the event, they immediately stopped me from entering. A teacher told me that I cannot enter, and they let me talk to my adviser and some of my teachers, they said “Jade, sinabihan ka na namin… You can’t wear this here. Magpalit ka ng suit na panglalake, para papasukin ka pa namin, maaga pa naman may time ka pa magpalit, Go na.” Translation: “Jade, we told you about this… You can’t wear this here. Change it to a Men’s suit, so that we can let you enter, it’s still early, you have time to change, Go for it.”

I told them I wanna talk to the principal. They let me talk with the principal and I explained the definition of Transgender and explaining that I am a Trans Woman. She refused, my mom talked to the principal and explained that I am a Trans Woman and I wanted to make this last moment of my JHS as the woman that I am. My mom said “Payagan niyo po sana yung anak ko na makapasok, kasi po babae po siya and yan po ang gusto niyang damit. Pangarap niya po yan”. Translation: “I hope you allow my daughter to get in, She is a woman and that’s how she wanted to dress up. That’s her dream.”

They still said no and change my outfit to a suit or anything na “panglalake” or “Men’s wear”. I lost hope at that moment, I saw my mom crying because how heart broken she is. I immediately cried too and said “Mama, umuwi kana ako na lang mag stay dito and ilalaban ko to. Ayoko na makita ka umiiyak”. Translation: “Mom, Please go home, I’m going to stay here and I will fight for this.”

She invited me to go home too but I said I needed to stay, this is something I think that is right. She went home and I started bursting out of tears, I was sobbing and fully destroyed. As a protest, I’m going to stay here until they let me in. There were feedbacks that they can hear me sobbing inside the event. My classmates comforted me, they took turns to accompany me outside. As the event is going through my classmates are slowly getting inside, they brought me food, talk to me nicely, my whole class went to me outside and took a class picture. Teachers that are close to my heart went outside to accompany too. And there’s this one teacher stayed with me the whole night outside and she said; “Malayo pa tayo sa pinapaglaban natin, pero gusto kong malaman mo na tama ka Jade, tama ang pinaglalaban mo, ikaw yan eh. Balang araw matatanggap ng lipunan natin ang isang katulad mo. Salamat sa pag-laban kung sino ka.” Translation: “We are far from what we are fighting for, but I want you to know that you are in the right track, that’s the real you! The time will come that our society will accept the people like you, thank you for fighting for being who you are”.

She said so many inspiring words that uplifted me. Take note: she’s an Araling Panlipunan teacher. Hi M1ss Meann Salimbangon, you deserve the love from this world. I love you so much, I will never forget you! You’re a treasure for me. She told me she won’t leave me outside until I get home safe. My friend’s driver offered a ride to get me home safe. I went home when that after party started. I was so tired and cried myself to sleep.

April 2016, our Moving-up Ceremony. Advisers are announcing that “No “proper” haircut for boys are not allowed get the diploma on stage. But instead, they will give the diploma a week after (together with our report card). I informed my adviser that I can’t cut my hair because I identify as a Trans Woman and I would like to get my diploma as how my hair is growing now. She refused, so i decided to not to go through. I did the Moving-up ceremony rehearsal for nothing. I informed my Mom that I can’t go to the stage because of my haircut. She was sad that she won’t see me receiving my diploma. I attend our moving-up ceremony with the parents of my friends, I was sitting in the parents section wearing a BLONDE FUCCING HAIR, full leather look with my y2k hidden wedge sneakers lol.

My head was heated seeing these boys in our school DIDN’T GOT THE PROPER HAIRCUT and got their diploma on stage. I immediately thought that the advise and requirement is just targeted for me or for the Queer people in my school ONLY. They were just oppressing us.

When it’s my time to get the diploma they called my name on stage flashed my photo to the screen. I stood up with my head up high, from the parent’s section. Everyone was looking at me, my friend cheered and screamed for me, the parents were clapping. It was a fuccing moment (just like a Pose episode) 🤣

Finally the nightmare era from that school was over, there is much more stories to tell. But it’s to long to share, so many bullying and oppressing issues that I experienced. I know it’s a Catholic school, but is it a requirement for Catholics to hate and oppress Trans Individuals like me? And the LGBTQIA+ community, if there are more issues (I knew it’s not just me 😌).

Moving forward, I searched for the right school to enroll for my Senior High School and that is iAcademy! I really really love this school so much, they accepted, acknowledged, and loved me. This is the first time I felt seen, heard & valued by a school. They let me wear what I want, let me my hair grew, it is so long that it touches my butt. I was openly proud Trans Individual, I even got a romantic relationship with a classmate (part of my growing process).

Fast forward for our Grad Ball and Graduation Ceremony. The MOMENT I’ve been waiting my whole life was to attend our Graduation Ball. I wore the MOST HUGE ROYAL BLUE CINDERELLA-LIKE BALL GOWN WITH FEATHERS AROUND, LEAVING SOME FEATHER TRACKS WHEREVER I GO, WITH A FUCCING CROWN, because I already knew I am a fuccing QUEEN. I won best dressed of the night from the female category. They gave me a 10-min moment to share my JHS Prom experience and I am thankful for this inclusive school and being an LGBTQIA+ ally. I was so happy I could die. This moment will last forever and to the herstory of iAcademy.

For our Graduation ceremony I wore the highest heels that I owned and a red cunty dress to my Graduation. I got my diploma on stage, strutting myself like the sexiest, cuntiest & baddest student on Earth.

[enigmaticdiary]

i am rewatching episode 1 for rewind the tape :) I've seen the pilot probably around 20 times at this point but I've only watched it by myself.... once! so for the first time since my first time watching it alone, im gonna do it again with a head full of knowledge of the iwtv book and the full season. and im turning off captions so it's less reading and more watching and close observing for me >:D

Below is a liveblog!

WARNING: I FUCKING LOVE TO TALK AND POINT OUT USELESS THINGS ON EVERY SINGLE THING I SEE. THIS POST IS GOING TO BE A MILE LONG. Also im still not great at putting my thoughts together.

hmm. I would read molloys book on kaposi sarcoma and hiv/aids. i love how well the fake book covers and this advert are put together because so many times I've been asked by friends who i showed the show to if it was an actual commercial LOL.

THE PIC ON THE BACK OF THE BOOK GOING FROM LUKE TO JUST AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF YOUNG ERIC BOGOSIAN? LMFAO. The casting is genuinely so perfect in this show. hehe i like how well the passage of time is depicted through the book covers too, not just in. the photos for daniel obviously but for the aesthetic styles of the covers. the cover they made for "the internets gavel" is sooo mid 2000s. I love the attention to detail for these things on screen for less than a second because it gives a fool like me something to look at and praise simply because the detail wasn't overlooked.

"hate and ashbury" man this is such a good title too. simply because im looking at it and sifting out details it's such a good way to get even more insight into molloy's character. while I don't need to get into a history lecture of haight-ashbury, it tells a lot because it was a historically hippie neighborhood in the 1960s and the birthplace of the counterculture movement, it says a lot for molloy especially seeing the previous three fictional books he wrote about, being hiv/aids crisis, the politics of climate change in the United states, the governments attempts at putting stricter regulation on the internet... I could get into how this connects with molloy's character more in relation to his desire for vampirism but i am barely over a minute in and I've been typing for 15 minutes now!!!

"Preparing For An Interview" NO WAY. GUYS!

No no no i will not pause every 10 seconds and try to connect the thematic dots of everything being presented to me. I need to save that for the video essay im writing!

louis' beautiful handwriting❤️

i dont know why daniels scrunched up face is so fucking funny to me.

Jesus okay watching this without captions is actually really difficult for me i see why i need them all at all times. If im not rewinding because i keep fucking pausing im rewinding because I didn't understand a fucking word i just heard. Despite seeing the episode 20 times.

Hmm.. What personally redemptive accomplishments could louis be referring to..?

UUGGGHHHHHHJJJJJJJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHFHHHH sorry Louis on screen and i started tearing up. Hello armand goodbye armand.

Yah.

Do you think louis goes on twitter sometimes.

Yah?

COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!

Louis has changed... The only big change he's mentioned between Interview 1 and now that I can recall off the top of my head is that he stopped killing in 2000. I wonder why? I wonder many things

Truth and reconciliation....

Armand being concerned with daniels editor seeing/hearing what was said. I am vaguely aware of the theory that armand has possibly been up to mindfuckery with both louis and Daniel and i can only wonder if this has been mentioned to buoy that theory. To control the narrative.? Hmm... but why?

I know Daniel was annoyed by louis calling him "boy" but i think it's kind of cute. Even with nearly 50 years passing by, the old human is still young to the vampire who has lived going on twice his lifetimes. I am not 10 minutes in and I have been typing for 40 minutes!

FUUUUUUCK sorry. louis

I have no commentary on louis introducing. LESTAT. sorry, not him. On louis introducing new orleans and his the place he inhabited in it. I think its pretty self explanatory and explicit, yeah?

BRICKS❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh my god the fucking "Oh—goddamn." upon seeing fenwicks diarrhea dick is Ao fucking funny. Louis acting like he would actually have a problem seein a dick or too. Probably would have a problem seeing fenwicks tho (unshitted on). I don't disagree there. Maybe the poop camo is for the best....

Yiu can't be saying that racist jake the dog

Id stick my finger in fenwicks wound and see how deep itd go.

Hi paul

The lord told me to cum. Sorry im 5 years old

Paul punching louis is genuinely so fucking. LESTAT AND HIS FUCKING GOOFY ASS HAT OH MY GOD!!. Sorry. Paul punching Louis was so fucking funny to me because I know that if they were not on that street and were at home or something they would be SLUGGING each other until grace has to pull them apart. Then hug it out :) Idk is this how siblings work im pretty much an only child

I keep having to google words help. HELP. NOT ME HAVING LOOKED UP "PULPIT" ALREADY AND APPARENTLY COMPLETELY FORGETTING WHAT IT MEANS.

Immediately another word I have to google. Im not gonna say I'm stupid for not knowing these words, i did not grow up with the church as closely as others...

i do think a lot about the pointe du lac household before their father died. like. A lot. Theres so much in that brief interaction mentioning him. The sugar cane, the hospital, the Diversion.

Ill never forget the first time i rewatched this ep After learning about the mayfair witches and seeing this scene and being like: GASP! OH MY GOD! ANNE RICE REFERENCE! IT'S ALL CONNECTED!

Paul is so fucking funny like the shade he's constantly throwing, please take a break LMFAO

hng. (louis)

Googling words again. Hmmm the internalized homophobia yes yes i see. Sorry need to google another fucking word. Oh. oh louis...... Ok I can see how my mom picked up on louis being gay so fast. I am a smart boy but my vocabulary is pathetically limited so "big" words going over my head made what should've been pretty obvious be absolutely indecipherable to me. Sorry for being stupid (im not)

I am 17 minutes in and I have been watching and typing for an hour!

Louis: everyone in here is white so its easy to pick out who's gonna call me a nigger to my face and whos gonna do it behind my back

Sir..... Mister....

Hes here

Microaggression 1

TWO.

THREE.

FOUR?

LESTAT CONTINUOUSLY HITTING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH BRICKS

His hair looks like shit

IM. GOING TO KILL HIM. Dont worry louis get behind me.

YOU GONNA FALL VICTIM TO THIS MAN WHOSE HAIR GOT CAUGHT UNDER THE IRON?

Oh my god Leswirl de lioncourt PLEASE PLEASE I CANT TAKE THIS. Actually started growling out loud and said "Shut rhr fuck up, oh mt God.!!!"

IVE EMPTIED A BANK VAULT SAMPLING. S. AJSHKSKSJZMSMS PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GKD. PLEASW. ISNSSMJAKSNSMSJAJZMSUAUBZNZ

Lestat put your ears away, please.

Me, watching this for the first time at the age of 20: Is this gay...? No... it can't be. They would put gay in a show...? For real? (in denial and scared of being queerbaited despite the most explicit homosexual overtext)

MISS CARROLL THEYRE HAVING A DICK MEASURING COMPETITION.!!!!!!!

Unfortunately lestat did kind of serve there but throwing his dick down on the table embarrassing louis like that in front of miss carroll and lily was evil and racist somehow And he should be sentenced to 40 good slams in thr head with a brick

If paul didn't punch louis none of this would be happening

Lestat: God i love to troll

Who the devil you say.? Well...

Oh lord louis' face card sorry didn't mean to moan like that. I saw a maj so beautiful I threw up evrrywhere

Hmm. The racism

FUUUUUUCK LOUIS IS SO CUTE I NEED TO KILL MYSELF!

Lestat needs to put his ears AWAY he looks so bad with his hair that short.

What IS this insane time freezing trick lestat is doing? God when im actually giving myself a chance to really absorb myself in the show that scene is actually pretty fucking scary LOL

I NEED TO DIE I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHIOT ME IN THE FUCKING HEADA

Lord have mercy the sheer SEX in his eyes as he looks at louis' neck. I nedd to die

Paul..... I need to kill myself for emotional reasons not related to loustat

Egypt reference! Wow! Gabrielle allusion ! "The means to make my way to paris" Ok well what if i

I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD AT HOW HARD I LAUGH AT PAULS SCENES. steven norfleet does such an amazing job in this role.

SAVAGE GARDEN!!!!!!! GUYS!!!!! B

Hooray! The scene that changed me literally Forever. Whatever, man.

Ykung violinist

lily and lestat circling louis like two lions descending on a zebra.

I had a dream about this scene once. I will not br elaborating.

Dude.

GUYS. SEX IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Guys.

God thid is so fucking crazy

Unfortunately this part does make me giggle especially having to see these two men floating naked and seeing sams fat ass Im about to start crying again

I wish vampires were real

Insert joe biden yelling faggot I don't have it on hand and i don't want to pause for 20 minutes to find it

MY FAVORITE SCENE EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAUL AND LOUIS TAPDSNCING SO CUTE AARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The fact that thus scenr eas really all them, being jacob and steven, its so awesome.

WHEN THE BLACK JOY! And then thr Black suffering. Ok guys 21st time is a charm Im praying really hard I THINK I CAN STOP PAUL FROM JUMPING THIS TIME!

This is one of those scenes that really seperates black viewers from nonblack viewers because the way some of my nonblack friends have reacted to florence blaming louis has made me so insanely embarrassed.... I don't know how to explain it. But the shame from a black parent... especially the mother. I don't know. It breaks you in a different way than anything else. Theres a lot of nuance I want to say but I don't have the time or brainpower or expertise to word it properly so please just take my emotional response to this scene at face value.

sorry but lestat just openly asking during the funeral service where they got pauls coffin from is CRAZY.

Breaking finns arm was also crazy as fuck. Like would hs have done that if louis didn't get angry as fuck at him just then. Unfortunately knowing lestats character now seeing louis get mad like that probably made him hard as fuck and thr only way he can deal with it in the moment is to break that mans arm. Sorry I love how ar the beginning of this post i was like super into the nitty gritty and the details bjt then it just turned into me making fun of lestat and how hard he definitely was in like every single scene he was in

God. the pain.

Killing lily was in fact extremely racist and misogynistic of lestat. He should be stabbed many times for this

God.

Ok scene two that permanently changed me

Sorry to that poor stunt double that got knocked out then.

What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. Unfortunately one of the hardest lines ever

No commentary. Hard to say things about this scene cause its just so good, man.

Oh my poor ashy grey blood deprived louis

Watching this scene with headphones on is crazy

GOD. GUYS. I LOVE SHOW. DID YOU GUYS KNOW I FUCKING LOVE SHOW???!!?? Pack it up guys This is one of the best pilots in tv history

To wrap up this post, it took me about 2 hours and 20 minutes to finish the first episode. I spent twice as long watching it BECAUSE I LOVE TO FUCKING YAP!

[azuresin]

my. my sci article got accepted BUT i needed to work on a few things to make it more understandable for younger students. cant understand why they said no mention of practicing safe sexual intercourse (i wrote abt HIV/AIDS) i wanted teens to be aware of how it transmits but i did write other practices on how to be safe.

but sex with no contraceptives is the main reason as to why HIV transmits other than direct contact with a person with HIV, like kissing. and yes i think its fine just needed to reword some stuff.

[qnewsau]

When life throws a curveball

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/when-life-throws-a-curveball/

When life throws a curveball

I had a very intense start to 2024. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong in those first few months. My very small family, my relationships, and my home were all up-ended.

WORDS Andrew Heslop

Within the first three months of this year, I had a break-in, a plumbing disaster destroyed my apartment, a close family member passed away, and my car was stolen and written off. During this time, I also moved from Sydney to a regional town, upending my life and routines, packing, unpacking, and the various complications and administrative changes.

I felt tremendously overwhelmed most of the time. As each new calamity took place, I felt hopeless in that moment. It felt unfair and demoralising. I decided, rather than give into the chaos and uncertainty, I could take control of how I was feeling and get back on my feet as quickly as possible.

I started to celebrate the things I had achieved in my life and put other calamitous periods of my life in perspective. Remembering my life has already been punctured by tumultuous periods, I could see that I’ve already faced difficult times.

As each crisis happened, I wrote out how I was feeling, including jotting down positive ways of framing what happened. I made sure I reminded myself of the things I could control, and relinquished worrying about the things that I couldn’t control. I made small, measurable improvements each day by keeping a list and actioning it.

Most importantly, I sought help when I needed it.

Taking care of myself has also been a big part of the process. I restarted my mindfulness and meditation, using apps on my phone that provide guided meditation. I also focused on eating healthy, and cutting down on booze. I’ve gotten back into walking and hiking. I’ve also started doing the daily crosswords and puzzles to keep my mind active.

I ’ve noticed that I have a far greater capacity to work through change than I give myself credit for. Even when change is unforeseen or devastating.

It’s not been easy, and these steps I’ve outlined above require conscious thought and effort to achieve. I can confidently say that a few months into being more intentional about how I feel and taking better care of my holistic health, I feel much better. I’m doing alright.

If you’d like to discuss options like these and more, we can support you, listen, and brainstorm some strategies as peers (someone else also living with HIV). Get in touch with a peer navigator at Positive Life NSW on (02) 8357 8386, 1800 245 677 (freecall) or contact@positivelife.org.au. -Positive Life NSW is the representative body for all people living with HIV in NSW. To find out more go to www.positivelife.org.au

HIV, partying and staying safe

HIV Long Term Survivors Awareness Day

HIV and moving away from the ‘big smoke’

Be a local disability advocate

HIV healthcare in the bush

Making connections when you’re HIV positive

Let’s throw out the resolutions!

Surviving the holiday season

I’m still here: living with HIV since 1984

HIV and Mental Wellbeing

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[nathjonesey-75]

Where's The Awareness?

Well, here we are again. Although; I’d be very surprised - if no headline were used – if anyone knew to which “here” I was referring.

To clarify, it’s October; in other words, ADHD Awareness Month. Yep – who knew? Before the eyes start to roll with “not another ADHD whinge” whizzing over the scalps of some neurotypical and untroubled minds, if you happen to work with, or yet – have children with the condition, there may be a bit of a tremor on its way to you, as there is currently a shortage of ADHD medication around the world.

While the primary intention of this piece was to focus upon the need for more events in Britain for this supposedly supportive awareness period, if there is to be a widespread behavioural problem incoming, it may well make up for the silence in awareness promotion. Earlier today I was revising my blog site’s content. The first article I wrote following my diagnosis in 2021 (https://www.tumblr.com/nathjonesey-75/662840205569556480/all-day-he-dreams-a-work-in-progress) urged me to pen once more about my learning and experiences since the diagnosis. In-keeping with current political climate on this volatile, twisted little island in 2023 – it’s not a pleasant personal report.

Last year, there was a noticeable vitriol in the press towards trans people – with regard to the particular public spike in those identifying as transsexual. While I can’t comment as to that predicament having seen any improvement in public acceptance and media coverage since, there has been a definite flurry of air-headed, entitled, right-wing finger-pointing towards the ADHD condition – for similar spikes in diagnoses. Following this surge in particularly the celebrity community, it’s not surprising that tongues have wagged. Sadly, reverting again to the current climate of misinformation and assumptions from the wider uninformed masses, shock horror – we are the 2023 witches.

On that note, let’s clarify some blatant truths and some uncomfortable facts about this neurodivergent category – and a huge thank you to #AttentionUK for these facts.

HERE ARE SOME STATS ABOUT THE COSTS OF UNSUPPORTED ADHD:

Children with untreated ADHD:

• 46% of kids with untreated ADHD have been expelled. 35% drop out • Kids with untreated ADHD have problems with peer relations and end up with fewer friends • ADHD is very heritable. If one kid has ADHD there is a 30 to 40% chance that a sibling will have it as well • Kids with untreated ADHD have 2 to 4 times more fights with their siblings than their non-ADHD peers. • They also have 50% more bicycle accidents. …and 33% more A&E visits • More than half of all parents with ADHD will have a child with ADHD

Adults with ADHD:

• It shouldn’t come as a surprise that adults with untreated ADHD have problems with low self-esteem • Young adults with untreated ADHD show 2.6 times the number of sexual partners and 9 times the number of pregnancies compared to their non-ADHD peers • Likewise, they show 4 times the number of STD and are 2.5 times more likely to have been tested for HIV/AIDS • People with untreated ADHD have 2 to 4 times more car crashes than people without the disorder. And, they are usually far more likely to be the ones at fault • In fact, people with untreated ADHD are 7 times more likely to have had multiple vehicle crashes than people without ADHD • They are twice as likely to have been fired from a job [60] and 9 times more likely to end up in prison than people without the disorder • They also have higher rates of smoking and illegal drug use as well as higher rates of divorce, unemployment and underemployment • People with untreated ADHD end up costing at least twice as much in terms of medical care than they would without the disorder

It should come as less of a surprise, given these statistics – that adults with ADHD are five times as likely to have attempted suicide than those without (14% to 2.7%). These reasons should be adequately acceptable to justify ADHD Awareness Month going ahead annually for the foreseeable future.

From the ground level perspective of adults with ADHD, while the condition is a certified disability, medication is certainly not free – along with counselling and therapy as an alternative or bolster to medication. Neither is medication available on a quarterly payment basis, as is almost every other pharmaceutical health drug in England and Wales. So, having to order repeat prescriptions each month, when it is a government-controlled drug, is not the most practical or convenient. This may be understandable as an abuse control measure, yet for those who live in solitude; with added health complications – now emphatically with the current shortage, suggests that there must be a more supportive framework.

It would be a welcome surprise if a right-wing government were to reshuffle, restructure and bolster the mental health act positively – while boosting the budget for mental health medication. I’d however expect Brighton and Hove Albion to win the Premier League before Westminster Corruption FC shows compassion to the increasingly diagnosed neurodivergent population.

As for my findings over the past two cycles around the sun, since September 2021 – while I had hoped to balance a highly active day job with my creative spare time; learning the longer, more emotionally “scenic” way of the neurodivergent – proved that consideration and support in the workplace was as hidden as the condition’s effects are in the wider labour market.

The first position seemed ideal – working with a young, exciting brand and team; and my recent diagnosis disclosed to my superiors within the first three months following some unexpectedly nervy moments. After all, the physical, hands-on role had nothing in the contract suggesting “thou shalt train to become a brewer” (and no desire from my part either – just to balance work and my music and writing career, which was clearly divulged). Yet as I was inadvertently expected to perform tasks way above my position and job description, despite being clear with one clever, yet ignorant line manager that these were things I could not do – this continued until big, dangerous mistakes were forced. Clearly, awareness was ignored and even refused, when I offered to install a work mental health safety programme. My resignation came within nine months and I was not invited to the Xmas staff function, with each and every other ex-member of staff who remained connected.

With the following role, only finished nine weeks ago – any hopes of seeing improvements to the previous chimera of work progress sadly went the way of extra business revenue for the company before the indications of support were again hot air in the cold, yet lucrative event hire warehouse. Without harping on, the conclusion of the past two years is – small upcoming company or not; modern and educated or not, the support of ADHD in the workplace is not an informed, aware and defined model. For what isn’t apparent from my description of frustration – is the overhanging, overburdening expectation of equilibrium from every person's performance – as though there is a proven physiological and biological balance between everyone. Informing people about having ADHD, then receiving tentative nods of support, in other words - has made very little difference to my work environment in the past two years.

Elements which bring and often overload pressure – and the ADHD way is very often to grind the way through the job; to complete tasks and to accomplish expectations, these invite mental health problems, which can become extreme. As in suicidal thoughts. But you couldn’t dare tell people that at work – because you’d be seen to be melodramatic, unstable and unreliable. Yet, ask many with ADHD and this will be commonly identifiable. Remember, too – the chief cause of death in men between 35 and 55 years of age – is suicide.

Which leads me to one vital piece which must be brought to awareness – burnout. As established, informing employers about ADHD has not, for me – kept me from the chronic effects of being burnt out. Again, it’s one relief that this is another side of life which is becoming increasingly common – and documented. One clear definition, published last year is from

https://augmentive.io/blog/adhd-burnout-adults

"Burnout was first coined as a term in the 1970s by an American psychologist called Herbert Freudenberger, who used it to describe the symptoms and feelings of the severe stress felt in professions which involved helping people, such as doctors and nurses. More modern studies have suggested that in the medical profession, turnover and absence due to sickness are some of the effects of burnout.

Today, the term burnout is used to refer to not only the stress felt within someone’s profession, but to describe the feeling and consequences of doing too much, or “burning the candle at both ends”, as the saying goes. This could mean doing too much physically or mentally.

Symptoms of burnout are unique to everyone; however you may notice general stress symptoms such as:

• Sleep problems • Trouble focusing • Stomach issues • Fatigue, both mental and physical • Becoming sick more often due to poor immune function • Headaches • Feelings similar to depression, such as worthlessness • A loss of interest in doing things you once enjoyed • Burnout can affect anyone, but those with ADHD may find it hits them with very specific symptoms."

Some final pivotal pieces of information which are not as widespread as they could be are - that those with ADHD do not necessarily have the same characteristics as one another. Particularly adults who have received late diagnoses. While the condition can lead to mental health struggles, not everyone is negative in outlook – it’s a common trait. Not everyone is taken by every passing squirrel, cat or bus while in a conversation they can’t focus upon – it’s the overstimulation from being too interested in many things which often distracts. Yes, ADHD is associated by creativity but the hyperfocus so widely connected to us, does not mean we can accomplish everything we attempt to create. Hence the knuckle-duster lesson of having a late diagnosis and trying to balance a creative side hustle (as promising as it may be) – and a physically demanding full-time job with overambitious; corporate-owned, ignorant employers. As liberating as it may be to find out that there’s a reason for why you’ve always felt like a square peg in a changing, morphing shaped space – is that so many are not clued up about what it all means.

To close, one inspirational point which has become clearer in recent years, since my aforementioned blog from September 2020 where I discussed balancing DJing, day jobs and ADHD; is the sharp connection between neurodivergent people and nightlife, particularly DJ culture. An upsurge in conferences, festivals and events drawing attention to; and discourse about neurodivergence, as well as marginalised social groups in music have occurred. Harold Heath, whose book “Lost Relationships: My Incredible Journey From Unknown DJ To Small-Time DJ” which has resonated with a great number of readers within the dance music community – is currently writing a book about this relationship between the dance floor and neurodivergence. In the past month, DJ Magazine published his article with recent findings.

https://djmag.com/features/why-are-there-so-many-neurodivergent-people-electronic-music

I anticipate the extra reading to come, once the book is published – it was great to meet Harold, his wife and a number of DJs speaking about marginalisation at last month’s Liberty Festival in Croydon. Thanks to Ifeoluwa and the Intervention crew for organising the discussion.

As a parting shot, I have to focus on the sublime and absurdity of life, as inspired by Irvine Welsh, Danny Boyle and John Hodge, as stated in Trainspotting and adapted in Trainspotting 2.

Choose life.

Choose your own type of life.

Choose being a hermit.

Choose being a social butterfly.

Choose being relaxed about everything, or full of energy - depending on what day it is.

Choose fitness and wellness.

Choose drinking and drugs to mask your own self-loathing.

Choose jumping between social groups in trying to fit in, but feeling that it’ll never really happen.

Choose relationships which won’t last because – they never do. Do they?

Choose late nights.

Choose dancefloors with other alternative types of people who may or may not feel the same as you.

Choose trying to act a little bit like someone else successful whom you’ve worked with, because if it worked for them – why can’t it work for you?

Choose all the personal project ideas which come to you until you run out of steam with each one - and move on to the next.

Choose trying to find the forever happy job where you are always progressing.

Choose low-paid jobs to make up for your inability to sustain the burnout.

Choose smiling bravely, as you always have - because you can get through all of this.

Choose the cycle of thinking that you're not worth it, then taking your time to rebuild your confidence so that you think you are worth it again.

Choose working as hard as you can, again and again and again - until you burn out. Again and again and again.

And then revisit all the times in your life where nothing made sense, other than you have this diagnosis – which makes you feel slightly better, but not all the time.

Choose ADHD. Choose life.

[bobmccullochny]

History

July 10, 1943 - The Allied invasion of Italy began with an attack on the island of Sicily. The British entry into Syracuse was the first Allied success in Europe. General Dwight D. Eisenhower labeled the invasion "the first page in the liberation of the European Continent."

July 10, 1973 - The Bahamas gained their independence after 250 years as a British Crown Colony.

July 10, 1991 - Boris Yeltsin took the oath of office, becoming the first popularly elected president in Russia's thousand-year history.

Birthday - Theologian and founder of Presbyterianism, John Calvin (1509-1564) was born in Noyon, France.

Birthday - American artist James Whistler (1834-1903) was born in Lowell, Mass. He is best remembered for his portrait Whistler's Mother.

Birthday - French author Marcel Proust (1871-1922) was born near Paris. "Happiness," he wrote in The Past Recaptured, "is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind."

Birthday - Tennis player Arthur Ashe (1943-1993) was born in Richmond, Virginia. He won a total of 33 titles including the U.S. men's singles championship and U.S. Open in 1968 and the men's singles at Wimbledon in 1975. As a pioneering African American athlete, he fought against racism and stereotyping and was arrested numerous times while protesting. In 1992, he announced he had likely contracted HIV through a transfusion during heart surgery. He then began a $5 million fundraising effort on behalf of the Arthur Ashe Foundation for the Defeat of AIDS and campaigned for public awareness regarding the dreaded disease. He died from pneumonia in New York, February 6, 1993.

[sheetmusiclibrarypdf]

Maria (from West Side Story) - Leonard Bernstein (Easy Piano Solo) sheet music, Noten

Maria (from West Side Story) - Leonard Bernstein (Easy Piano Solo) sheet music, Noten

https://rumble.com/embed/v2j2ouw/?pub=14hjof

Leonard Bernstein

Leonard Bernstein (August 25, 1918 – October 14, 1990) was an American conductor, composer, pianist, music educator, author, and humanitarian. Considered to be one of the most important conductors of his time, he was the first American conductor to receive international acclaim. According to music critic Donal Henahan, he was "one of the most prodigiously talented and successful musicians in American history". Leonard Bernstein was the recipient of many honors, including seven Emmy Awards, two Tony Awards, sixteen Grammy Awards including the Lifetime Achievement Award, and the Kennedy Center Honor. As a composer he wrote in many genres, including symphonic and orchestral music, ballet, film and theatre music, choral works, opera, chamber music and works for the piano. His best-known work is the Broadway musical West Side Story, which continues to be regularly performed worldwide, and has been adapted into two (1961 and 2021) feature films. His works include three symphonies, Chichester Psalms, Serenade after Plato's "Symposium", the original score for the film On the Waterfront, and theater works including On the Town, Wonderful Town, Candide, and his MASS. Leonard Bernstein was the first American-born conductor to lead a major American symphony orchestra. He was music director of the New York Philharmonic and conducted the world's major orchestras, generating a significant legacy of audio and video recordings. He was also a critical figure in the modern revival of the music of Gustav Mahler, in whose music he was most passionately interested. A skilled pianist, he often conducted piano concertos from the keyboard. He was the first conductor to share and explore classical music on television with a mass audience. Through dozens of national and international broadcasts, including Young People's Concerts with the New York Philharmonic, he sought to make music both intelligible and enjoyable to all. Through his educational efforts, including several books and the creation of two major international music festivals, he influenced several generations of young musicians. A lifelong humanitarian, Bernstein worked in support of civil rights; protested against the Vietnam War;advocated nuclear disarmament; raised money for HIV/AIDS research and awareness; and engaged in multiple international initiatives for human rights and world peace. He conducted Mahler's "Resurrection Symphony"" at the funeral of President John F. Kennedy, and in Israel at a world-famous concert, Hatikvah on Mt. Scopus, after the 1967 war. The sequence of events was preserved for posterity in a documentary entitled Journey to Jerusalem. At the end of his life, he conducted an historic performance of Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 in Berlin to celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall. The concert was televised live, worldwide, on Christmas Day, 1989. While Bernstein was very well known for his music compositions and conducting, he was also known for his outspoken political views and his strong desire to further social change. His first aspirations for social change were made apparent in his producing (as a student) a recently banned opera, The Cradle Will Rock, by Marc Blitzstein, about the disparity between the working and upper class. His first opera, Trouble in Tahiti, was dedicated to Blitzstein and has a strong social theme, criticizing American civilization and suburban upper-class life in particular. As he went on in his career, Bernstein would go on to fight for everything from the influences of "American Music" to the disarming of western nuclear weapons. Like many of his friends and colleagues, Bernstein had been involved in various left-wing causes and organizations since the 1940s. He was blacklisted by the US State Department and CBS in the early 1950s, but unlike others his career was not greatly affected, and he was never required to testify before the House Un-American Activities Committee. His political life received substantial press coverage though in 1970, due to a gathering hosted at his Manhattan apartment at 895 Park Avenue on January 14, 1970. Bernstein and his wife held the event seeking to raise awareness and money for the defense of several members of the Black Panther Party against a variety of charges, especially the case of the Panther 21. The New York Times initially covered the gathering as a lifestyle item, but later posted an editorial harshly unfavorable to Bernstein following generally negative reaction to the widely publicized story. This reaction culminated in June 1970 with the appearance of "Radical Chic: That Party at Lenny's", an essay by journalist Tom Wolfe featured on the cover of the magazine New York. The article contrasted the Bernsteins' comfortable lifestyle in one of the world's most expensive neighborhoods with the anti-establishment politics of the Black Panthers. It led to the popularization of "radical chic" as a critical term. Both Bernstein and his wife Felicia responded to the criticism, arguing that they were motivated not by a shallow desire to express fashionable sympathy but by their concern for civil liberties. Bernstein was named in the book Red Channels: The Report of Communist Influence in Radio and Television (1950) as a Communist along with Aaron Copland, Lena Horne, Pete Seeger, Artie Shaw and other prominent figures of the performing arts. Red Channels was issued by the right-wing journal Counterattack Read the full article

[vorinthians]

blood ballet

He told me he loved me the third day of June; Uranus kissing Gaea with the fervor of the hurricanes and Monsoons he had building in his throat. He had the body of Apollo, deep contours on marble skin and I was No stranger to the depthless pull of the shoreline tide. I grew secrets like plants underneath my tongue-- Mistletoe urging me to kiss then to tell, but these weeds grew to be a garden--a forest-- Majestic, Unruly, Nimble; embedded deep into the cracks Of my teeth, little midnight clattering keeping me awake until Daybreak. Early mornings are spent dancing away From his lunar hands, moonstone fingers following my every turn. I pull my lips thin smiling through his Curiosity, as if I do not have a cross burning through my skin, through paper I keep permanently hidden in my back pocket. Every kiss I give him is a heartfelt apology, the veins under my skin are Nothing more than little root letters Carving sentences I cannot bring myself to say. Yellow has become my favorite color. Voir dire is a foreign concept to me so I dance with Iridescence as it accompanies me in greeting Venus of the dusk; Retrograde revolution reeling me back to the Umbra of your legs under silk sheets and sweaty skin, but no matter how I want to, I cannot let myself Surrender.

[natromanxoff]

(x)

Freddie’s £10m rhapsody of hope for AIDS victims

World's biggest concert will pay for new hospital

ROCK LEGEND Freddie Mercury left a legacy of hope to thousands of fellow AIDS victims, it was revealed at the star-studded Wembley tribute to the Queen lead singer last night.

Guitarist Roger Taylor said a clinic for HIV and AlDS sufferers called the Freddie Mercury Hospital will be built in Britain from concert proceeds. Mercury died aged 45 last November after losing a long battle against AIDS. A large part of his fortune was donated to AIDS charities. It is expected that the total amount raised from last night's rock spectacular will top £10 million.

"This is something we feel strongly about and we are sure Freddie would approve," Taylor said.

“It's a means of using the tragedy to some good effect in bringing a greater awareness of the fact that AIDS affects all of us.”

Just before the show volunteers handed out red ribbons to fans, symbol of AIDS Awareness.

Hollywood stars like Elizabeth Taylor and Liza Minnelli joined forces with the cream of pop and rock talent including DavidBowie, Elton John, George Michael and metal band Guns'n'Roses.

Supermodel Cindy Crawford, the 26-year-wife of actor Richard Gere, spoke of the courage of close friends who died from AIDS.

Global

"The more discussion there is about AIDS the more people can learn and everyone needs to help," she said.

The 72,000 fans at Wembley paid £25 or more a head.

It was also broadcast live and attracted a larger global audience than Live Aid, going out to a billion people.

Some fans fell prey to touts charging up to £250 for tickets.

Even so, hundreds of fans were prepared to fork out.

"I supported Freddie throughout his life and I will support him in death," said Steve Parkin, 22, who travelled from Liverpool with no ticket.

"He was the greatest and I couldn't miss a concert like this."

Jayne Browning from Sheffield said: "I came with £100 and I would be willing to spend all of that."

Protests

Guns'n'Roses were one of the surprise bands in the concert.

Four years ago lead singer Axl Rose wrote a song with the lyrics: "Immigrants and faggots spread disease".

Shows have been dogged by protests from gay rights activists ever since.

But Guns'n'Roses drummer Matt Sorum said the band would be using the concert to explain their behaviour towards gays.

"Axl has a few things to say about accusations about being homophobic," Sorum said.

"He's still getting flak from it."

Just before the show Axl seemed to be suffering stage fright.

He failed to turn up for rehearsals and missed a sound check, preferring to stay in his Mayfair hotel suite.

Liz Taylor presented George Michael with a brooch with red rhinestones set in silver in the shape of the AIDS symbol.

Then, in a speech half way through the concert, she urged the crowd to practise safe sex and use condoms.

"You are the future of our world, you are the best and brightest," she said.

Gay

"You are the shining light that will illuminate a better world tomorrow.

"Protect yourselves. Every time you have sex use a condom. Every single time.

"Straight sex, gay sex, bisexual sex — use a condom whoever you are.

"And if you use drugs, don't share the needle.

"Each day around the world 5,000 people are infected with HIV — the virus that causes AIDS.

"Just last week it was reported in the U.S. that there are 9,000 actual cases of AIDS among teenagers and young adults, with thousands more who probably don't even know they are infected.

"There are 72,000 people in this stadium tonight. Look at yourselves, look at how many you are.

"In two short weeks there will be as many new infections as there are people here tonight. Please don't let it happen to you."

She added: "We are here to celebrate the life of Freddie Mercury, an extraordinary rock star who rushed across our cultural landscape like a comet shooting across the sky.

"We are also here to tell the whole world that he, like others we have lost to AIDS, died before his time.

"The bright light of his talent still exhilarates us, even now that his life has been so cruelly extinguished.

"It needn't have happened. It shouldn't have happened. Please, let's not let it happen again.

"Protect yourself, love yourself, respect yourself, because I will keep telling you until you do.

"I won't give in and I won't giveup, because the world needs you to live."

At the show the stars poured out personal tributes to their dead friend.

Roger Taylor said: "This concert is primarily a celebration of and a tribute to our dear friend and colleague Freddie Mercury."

His Queen co-star Brian May added: "It seems inconceivable that we now have to do without Freddie.

Living

"This proud, vibrant, irreverent and passionately creative man surely cannot have been extinguished in the prime of his life.

"Freddie was denied the privilege of growing old but in 45 years he packed in enough living for a dozen lifetimes.

"A child of strict upbringing he was, when I met him some 25 years ago, an uncertain youth stepping into an unfamiliar world outside.

"But his head was full of great dreams and the certainty that they could be achieved.

"At the age of 20 he already lived the dream, and behaved with a gentle grandeur that demanded respect.

"He looked and acted like a million dollars, though he scarcely had the bus fare home.

"That never changed. Later, when his millions were safely in the bank, someone else always carried his purse.

"Perhaps in changing his name prior to our first record he decided to leave the fragile Frederick Bulsara at home under parental care and become the god Freddie Mercury."

Queen guitarist John Deacon said: "It's hard to imagine being here without Freddie. We will all miss him."

Elton John said: "Until a cure is found I won't rest. I've lost so many friends.

"I'm in my mid 40s and this is the time in life that instead of just planning everything around a career, you can try to do something else."

George Michael said: "Freddie Mercury was a great inspiration to me and I felt a genuine loss when he died.

"So this concert will be a strange mixture of honour and sadness.

"Hopefully it will also serve as one more opportunity to fight against AIDS.”

[Photo caption: HELPING: Supermodel Cindy Crawford yesterday. She lost friends to AIDS]

[Photo caption: TALENT: Queen singer Freddie Mercury, dead of AIDS]

[hamliet]

Hi! What are your top 5 qaf characters and why?

Ahhhh so hard to narrow it down!!

Um. Well. I'm going to cheat a tiny bit because there are some ties. :P

5) Ben Bruckner

Is he the deepest character on the show? Not exactly. But I loved his character--how he deals with having HIV, how he's such an idealist who stumbles in practicality. That latter part is fairly relatable to me lol. He seems highly confident, but he's insecure about his health, his writing, and more. Yet he also knows that he deserves to be loved and appreciated as he is, flaws and all, and never wavers from this. This belief in turn makes him the perfect match for Michael, a character who waffles between fantasy and reality.

Ben loves Michael for who he is and understands Brian and Michael's sometimes unhealthy bond precisely because of his ideals: everyone should be loved as they are (a major theme of QaF as a whole). He just doesn't really apply that to himself, which is very, well, human. This results in him messing around with steroids, pushing people away at times, clinging at others, and in the end accepting vulnerability and failure as part of being human.

5) Debbie Novotny

I love Debbie. She's kind of the group's wise and loving mom, the voice of conscience and reason and kindness. She's a good person, and the show really dug into that and explored this aspect of her character to a rewarding degree. See, Debbie being so convinced she needs to be a good person is precisely where she's most flawed and thereby what makes her so interesting. Is she a good sister to Vic and mom to not just Michael, but Brian, Emmett, Justin, Ted, etc.? Yes. But she's also super flawed and unable to see past herself sometimes, and that's why she's great.

Debbie defines herself by her relationships with others and is determined to stick up for her loved ones. Unfortunately, that means she sometimes doesn't realize that--while she often does know best, often isn't always, and she has to let go and allow characters like Michael and Vic to live their own lives. It's easier for her to let go with the other boys, but not so much with Michael or Vic, because they're clearly the closest to her.

Debbie concocts this elaborate fantasy father for Michael because she needs to be a good person who married a hero rather than a scared teen who fooled around with a drag queen who wasn't sure of his own identity . But the thing is, she's a good person as she is, despite growing she still has to do. Her choosing to raise Michael with love and acceptance, to stand by Vic and nurse him through the worst of his illness--she's heroic for those things.

I love that the narrative calls Debbie on her "good person" complex. Firstly, she almost lets it interfere with her finding love with Horvath, when the point is that she has to help Horvath grow--and thereby accept that she herself needs to grow. Secondly, of course, when Vic moves out and she has a terrible fight with him, and he dies before they can reconcile.

4) Hunter Novotny-Bruckner

Hunter's iconic, from the classic "YOU F*CKED A MURDERER?" “What’s the big deal, I used a condom” scene to his comments about ending up in jail for opening Ben's letter. He's also a terrified teenager who's been through far more than he should have had to. His journey--how he pushes buttons with Michael and Ben precisely because he fully expects them to give up on him and wants to see how far he can push them and still be welcome--is so very true to trauma, especially in young kids.

Hunter's also very self-aware in ways Michael and Ben really aren't, which makes him a good fit into the family dynamic.

2-3) Michael Novotny

I wrote a whole meta on Michael so there's not a lot to say that I haven't said there, but I will reiterate that Michael gets an unfairly bad rap from the fandom. Like I've barely been in it and seen a lot of negative takes on him that I think do a real disservice to the story as a whole. Michael is a jerk sometimes, sure, and whiny, but he's an integral part of the story and part of the reason Justin and Brian work so well together (as opposed to the hindrance I've seen a lot of takes posit him to be).

2-3) Justin Taylor

Yeah, he and Michael tie and it varies by day, but for today, Justin's got the edge. I love his arc and his flaws. I do wish more had been done with certain plot lines (like the Pink Posse one, which falls into a category of 'makes sense and could work but doesn't develop organically and isn't fully explored').

Justin's a great character because he's not just a representation of sunshine or innocence like he could have been--what honestly most writers would have written the new young initiate to be. He's young, but he also has all the flaws of youth too. He's thereby a great foil for Brian and Michael in that he doesn't actually treat people much better than either of them do.

The show never glorifies Justin's immaturity, but neither does it patronize him. His wants and goals are taken just as seriously as the older characters, and his choice to love Brian forms the crux of what the show says love is. He's treated like a human being first before being a teenager/inner child, all while his teenager-ness is never denied (99.99% of teenage characters do NOT act like any teenagers I know; Justin absolutely does).

1) Brian Kinney

Is it really surprising to anyone? He's the show's central character and one of my favorite archetypes: the Byronic hero. Mad, bad, dangerous to know, but with the additional element of a heart of gold under all those layers.

What I love about him as a character is how contradictory and human he is. He's really a wounded child who is a hedonist to avoid going after what he wants (love, justification to be alive). The crux of his issues come down to how his father told him that he wished Brian was never born and tried to coerce his mother into having an abortion. Imo, there's a part of Brian that genuinely fears/even at times believes that he should never have existed (hence his constant wrestling with the idea of growing old/dying and yet weird attraction to dying young/quasi ideation like jumping on the edge of a roof in episode 1). Brian's determined to make his existence known as part of an attempt to prove he does deserve to live because he desperately wants to.

Seeing him come to accept love--not just accept being loved and admitting he loved, but knowing that time (always his biggest fear) wouldn't change it--that was a beautiful arc. He's really well written.

Also, shout outs to: Ted, Blake, Emmett, Melanie, and Lindsay. Ted I think is in the top group for well-written characters especially, and Melanie just won a special place in my heart after she screamed “I don’t CARE what men think about their dicks!” In episode 3. Mood Mel mood.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Even within the queer community, biphobia isn’t being taken seriously, explains author Lois Shearing on Bi Visibility Day.

Homophobic and transphobic comments have finally started to be taken seriously for the damage that they cause.

Many jokes that would have been considered mainstream only 10 years ago are now, rightly, considered unacceptable. This has lead to a lot of outrage-click headlines about “cancel culture”, but sometimes it’s just plain old consequences, such as the time Kevin Hart was forced to exit the Oscars after his old homophobic tweets were rediscovered

This is not to say that anti-gay sentiments – and anti-trans rhetoric, especially – are no longer issues in public life. Stories like Kevin Hart’s are still in the minority. JK Rowling’s ongoing, public spiral into Britain’s obsessive anti-trans rights movement has had little effect on her fame and fortune. But within progressive and queer circles, transphobia and homophobia are being called out and addressed, or at least discussed. So why is intolerance towards biphobia lagging behind?

Earlier this week, which happens to be Bi Awareness Week, Labour MP Rosie Duffield was asked about liking at tweet which criticised the “reclaiming” of the word queer and called trans people “heterosexuals cosplaying as the opposite sex” (an incident that prompted an ongoing Labour investigation). In response, Duffield claimed that “many of her gay friends” are offended by “men… who are married to women, who call themselves the ‘q’ word, and appropriate gay culture in a way that is deeply offensive to a lot in the gay rights movement”.

Comments like these invalidate the identity of bi/pan/queer men in different-gender relationships. But even within the queer community, biphobic jokes and remarks are still frequent and mostly pass without recourse. For example, comedian Rachel Mccartney has made openly biphobic comments on a number of occasions. This included once tweeting, in response to accusations that Jeffrey Epstein’s ex-girlfriend and alleged co-conspirator Ghislaine Maxwell abused underage girls: “Dating a 60-year-old man and raping 15-year-old girls is bi culture.” (For context, bi women face high rates of sexual violence than gay and straight women.)

Biphobia is rife

In 2017, Stonewall found that a third of teenagers “frequently” or “often” hear negative comments about bi people (biphobic language), for example, that bi people are “greedy” or “just going through a phase”. On top of this, a 2014 study examining online discussions about bisexuality in an LGBT+ environment discovered that 55 per cent of the comments contained some form (or evidence) of biphobia or monosexism.

Despite the prevalence of biphobia, it’s common to read or hear comments about bisexual people having privilege or not facing any real oppression. But this is provably false: it is well documented that bi people face higher rates of mental illness, due in part to biphobia and double discrimination. Bi+ men are less likely to get tested for HIV due to social stigma and biphobia within healthcare settings. Bi+ people are also more likely to suffer from addiction or abuse drugs and alcohol. Yet bi people are still seen as deserving targets of cruel jokes or comments. We are seen as being able to opt out of our oppression, or that we bring it on ourselves by being greedy.

Taking biphobia seriously would mean re-examining the ‘born this way’ argument.

Taking biphobia seriously would mean re-examining the “born this way” argument. As activist and lawyer Heron Greensmith wrote earlier this year: “The problem is that many LGBTQ2S+ activists invested far too much in an argument that is both false and a dead end: Queerness isn’t immutable for all of us. Queerness can be beautifully fluid.” It would also mean challenging the idea that being greedy or self-indulgent aren’t character flaws. Writer Maz Hedgehog points out how this overlaps with another type of prejudice that progressive spaces are yet to reckon with: fatphobia. She writes: “Fatness and bisexuality become spectres, signs of defect or incompleteness or immaturity to be feared and rejected. They become temporary categories which must be disciplined into maturity and coherence, lest the whole edifice falls apart.”

Biphobia need to be taken as seriously as any other kind of prejudice or discrimination. We know biphobia is real, we have decades worth of evidence of the harm that it causes. If we can’t tackle this within the queer community, how are we supposed to do so in mainstream society? The answer is not to try and convince people that biphobia is real, it is. It’s to start reacting to it in the same way we do with other types of bigotry: report it, call it out and make it clear that it’s unacceptable.

Lois Shearing is the author of the Bi the Way: The Bisexual Guide to Life and you can get it from bookshop.org and amazon.com.