#wrote this back in like january
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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it's starting to hit me that i'm going to have a career soon and like... that is like a wild thing to try to comprehend?? like yes i've studied my ass off for the past twoish months- to pass a test. but that test means i have job where i can sit and do my job? it's still a very radical concept to me.
#kate rambles from here on#the thing is- my family has always been working class- so i really wrote off college at a young age- mostly cause my dream differed#bc of wanting to make music and what not- but like they offered the course to me for free and it's sth i've thought about before and#i've been struggling not having a job bc of my plantars fasciitis (it's from stress) so not working on my feet = lifesaver for me#i am thankful for saving up as hard as i did when i could- bc i've been living off it until recently- where it's gotten too low for my liki#it's not that i'm complaining and/or changing my lifestyle- it's just i had been fighting to get a job that i could do that wouldn't kill m#to do- and i applied to this job thinking 'they're never even going to look at my application' bc imo i have no real qualifications outside#of customer service- but they did- and i've been in the process of being hired for the past 2-3~ mos- in two days it is tech the start of#my contract- in five days i'll be going near the big city to do my onboarding? and then i'll do more course work and like the idea that soo#in January- officially- part time- i'll be working at office? like is just a wild concept to me- i'll be getting paid for learning in dec~#and i just? omg... this is wild to me... yes i realize my plantars could strike back here- but- bc i will be sitting it'll mitigate it sm#it is still part time for now- bc i asked for it to be part time and work my way up to full time- i'm allowed at any time w/training to#move up to the next level- but i can stay at level 2 for hwvr long i wish if i want to- mostly i'll be working from jan to may#and idk random fact but after applying i got to learn that my grandma before she passed did the same thing- i really do take#after my namesake- hehe- idk this is a big ramble but it's just vv wild to me#(me over here “my first big purchase will be the byz's sgs” ((i could buy it now but i'm waiting for it as a treat~)) i bought their album#when i successfully completed the scary test~ so i'm using them as a motivator to work hard ebhbhea)#kate rambles#idk i'm vv proud of myself and i just wanted to share-
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nothing quite like an existential crisis about your faith to get you in the christmas spirit amiright?
#saw the instagram comment#and it immediately made me think of something i wrote back in january#lapsed catholic#or something like that#personal
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in honor of the new chapter - a snippet of my fyolai/fyodor backstory wip
#i wrote this back in january#but i feel like it's fitting to share it now#full fic is coming in like a thousand years when i finally finish it lol#bungou stray dogs#bsd#fanfiction#ao3#fyolai#fyodor bsd#nikolai bsd#bsd manga spoilers#bsd chapter 113
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crying sobbing falling into the floor in despair i am not finishing this fic tonight..........
#i have been at this for like 7 or 8 hours and i feel only 1% closer to being done#okay thats an exaggeration i wrote like 2k words but with all the stuff i had to cut im like back where i was and still only have a vague#idea of how im supposed to end this thing and i still gotta edit and see if someone will beta for me and then probably edit again#ughhhhhhhhh so much to do so little time i have horrible time management skills someone remind me to start kinktober fics for#next year in january please i need 10 months for this shit i thinkk#anyway GOODNIGHT I AM GOING TO BED BC I HAVE TO ACTUALLY GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW BC I HAVE BEEN SKIPPING#TOO MUCH APPARENTLY bye
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Just spent several minutes agonizing over the timeline of Accidental Siblings and tweaked parts of my fic yet again to match the canonical timeline better
#back when i first wrote it i had no idea of when anything happened at all post-wc#and i didn't give enough of a damn to properly research#sue me i was 17#so anyone who's read the very FIRST version of accidental siblings up to chapter 19 or 20 before my 6-year hiatus#you will know i very heavily changed the first part of the fic that had the most frequent references to the time of year it was#which in turn changed some of the scenes i wrote early on because the reasoning for certain plot points no longer made sense#it was nothing i didn't find a way to work around but still#i like being canon compliant very much so that's why i had to rework so much of the fic before i could share it on my page back in january#and even now i'm still making minor adjustments to fix the inconsistencies#ahhhhhhh it bothers me so much#sorry to anyone reading that may be thrown off by the changes but they had to be made!#i thought that even if the timeline wasn't super compliant i would be fine with that#but i don't wanna commit to an incorrect timeline so sorry#anyway lemme stop rambling hhhhh#kuroko no basket#knb fanfic#accidental siblings#AS rambles
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Oh my God. People are reblogging a poem I wrote and posted when I was 15 years old lol.
#i have no idea how they found it#i saw someone liked it a few days ago and i was like. well weird but whatever#im not offended it's just a few extra notes#i keep my poetry blog at this point bc it's a helpful archive for me to look back on a body of my work#heaven knows i don't really need the attention#and if i did... well id just be shit outta luck wouldn't i#tales from diana#it's a free verse i wrote and posted in january 2015. i was a sophomore in high school!#im just happy it was one of my 'i have undiagnosed mental illness' poems and not 'im hopelessly in love w that senior boy' ones#those were my 2 themes back then. at least that i knew how to write sincerely#it's not that that was ALL i had for range. but it was all i really cared about lol.#how detached i feel now from that shy baby poetess. strange!#i read those poems and i remember writing them very well but they don't feel like me.#now im at the age where im more mature and my sense of self is more stabilized#and ive written literally thousands of poems so very often the act of writing one does not feel significant to me.#i look through my notebooks from my 20s and im like 'i don't remember writing this but thats definitely me'#strange. never be an artist
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OK FOLLOWING UP ON THE BARD THING i think eichi definitely invited wataru to perform at a noble party before. because they'd usually have musicians and so? so ok picture this. it's eichi's birthday so his parents want him to hold a ball and he usually thinks those are annoying but then he gets an idea. make it a masquerade (for the drama). invite wataru as both a performer And his partner for the ball. he's an actor! and everyone is of course impressed by wataru's performance but they're even more impressed because the always polite but unreachable tenshouin heir is expertly dancing with a masked stranger (i love the fact that eichi's specialty in his profile is ballroom dancing). and then they're annoying and overdramatic in public together but no one can figure out Who That Is
and also i know you said that shu was a tailor but i think it would be funny if he also were a noble (his family is also of high standing in canon i think) so he can be there to judge eichi. harshly. i havent figures out yet how to make him besties w wataru but ! it can work
!!!!
This got soooo long again so this is once more put under read more I am so sorry
The idea with the Masquerade comes up while Eichi complains to Wataru about his parents pretty much forcing him to throw a ball for his upcoming birthday (they already planned the whole thing and didn't reallly give him a choice in the matter) and how much of a hassle he thinks that is because of all the superficial politeness between people that everyone knows are gossipping about each other behind each others backs and how sick he is of the pretending to be well acquainted with these people he's talked to maybe once or twice and all the ladies that wish to dance with him and that want to suck up to him because of his families wealth and how really this is all just one big farce to "save face". So Wataru suggests "why not make it a masquerade ball" to spice things up a little bit maybe, take some of the stiffness out of it. And Eichi says he wants to invite Wataru because what's a public event without proper entertainment? Wataru agrees of course and they come up with all of these overly grandiose ideas and scenarios (most of them are utterly absurd. One they genuinely consider involves Wataru pretending to kidnap Eichi and causing a scandal (Eichi woud miraculously reappear the next day and they'd gaslight everyone into thinking that never even happened and all the people are just imagining things)).
Wataru mentions that he'll be gone for an evening to play at the noble's ball to the elderly inn-keeper couple over dinner and they make a really big fuss about it and tell him to dress nicely and to watch his manners because "Remember, you can't just drop from the ceiling with those high society people like we let you do it here they're very sensitive about manners you have to make sure to watch your manners!" and for a minute he wonders how it got to the point that his landlords started to treat him like they personally picked him up from the street when he was a child.
I like to think he met Shu when he was out on the street doing a little street performance to earn some extra money for himself and Shu, the way that he is, came by, looked him up and down, and then started a conversation with him about music as an art form and that somehow turned into a philosophical discussion and at the end of that they each went their own ways with the knowledge that there was a new friendship formed that day.
And maybe he's the one that sews Watarus clothes for the ball because if you spent most of your life as a traveling bard living hand to mouth from your music you won't really have the money for fancy clothes (Eichi still insists on paying for Wataru here because he wouldn't need to spend so much money on fancy ballgowns if it wasn't for him in the first place and also he just wants to treat Wataru to something nice and sees this as his chance seeing as Wataru declines most gift offers me made before). Wataru tells him about the entire thing and Shu scoffs because dislikes Eichi (still need to come up with a way to explain that disdain but I will come up with something trust me!) but his parents force him to be there too so "he might as well" (it's obvious he still puts in a lot of care "because of his pride as an artists" (because Wataru is his friend and he wants him to have something nice)).
Shu only has to be there because his family guilt trips him into going and he doesn't see the point in opening that can of worms again ("We already let you pursue your foolish dream of sewing clothes like a commoner this is the least you could do for your family.")
And then at the actual event he's in some secluded corner together with some other people who only attended as a mere formality because they also do not like the Tenshouin family but they have to be there because they're important and aristocrat politics are weird that way I suppose.
Meanwhile Wataru does his usual thing and charms everyone with his beautiful beautiful voice and his elegance and charm and oh he is so agreeable as a performer. Eichi has to handle the usual "pleasantries" (nothing pleasant about those tries) and he exchanges the one or the other suffering glance with Yuzuru when nobody pays attention that just screams "God when will it end". Yuzuru shoots him back a look that conveys the exact emotion of "my condolences" and then he goes on to look for Tori who's 1.53m figure has disappeared in the group of people and when he finds him he's talking to a gentleman that's about a head taller than him and the mask obscures his face but judging by the hair and the slight "animosity" between them he's talking to Tsukasa, so Yuzuru decides he's in good hands and leaves to do his own thing. (do they know they're talking to each other? Who knows! But they'd probably manage to start bickering either way.)
And eventually it gets to the actual Ball bit of the Birthday Ball Event where they actually dance (there's an actual orchestra there now and they play very lovely music). And almost everyone asks to dance with Eichi at least once. Eichi does not want to waste his time and energy on these people who are just interested in him for his money so he always makes up something about being preoccupied or a little tired or something that gives them no other choice but to back off. Suddenly Wataru appears behind him and does a little "boo!" and Eichi didn't expect that so he startles and almost drops his glass and tells Wataru not to do that anymore at public eventshas while Wataru has to stiffle a laugh because he thinks Eichi is cute when he pretends to try to be firm with him. After he's done with his "scolding" (you can barely call it that. he was very soft on Wataru.) Wataru asks him for a dance this time and he's very chivalrous about it - he goes all out really - he kisses his hand and offers him a rose while he does a little bow and asks if he "may have this dance with the lovely star of the evening" (and oh Eichi wants to kiss him so bad right then and there but in a room full of people that are worse than a committee of vultures that is very much not an option). Of course he agrees and they move to the dance floor and suddenly a Lot of eyes are on them because Eichi Tenshouin, whom a good chunk of pursuers have already given up on - because let us be real. It will never happen. The man hasn't shown interest in anyone at any moment in time and lives together with the Himemiya heir and his butler as far removed from the rest of the aristocracy as one would be able to - is waltzing with this masked stranger and it becomes very obvious very quickly that Eichis constant declining of dance offers was not for a lack of expertise because those two look breathtaking together.
Eichi actually dips Wataru once and some people wish they had hired an artist to paint the scene (because I'm a sap and wataei is beautiful I don't care I'm being self indulgent here)). And they talk but nobody can understand what because of the loud music and they curse the orchestra - which is still playing very lovely music (it's heavenly really) - for it.
After their dance is over Eichi goes back to declining every dance offer he gets with the excuse he's exhausted and needs to rest a little before he can dance again (the "I don't wish to dance with you" is implied and in the room but most people chose to ignore it to spare their ego and decide to take him at face value) and Wataru disappears to somewhere, nobody really knows where but somehow he's nowhere to be found. Until he sneaks up to Eichi a second time and does the whole "Boo!" thing again and Eichi almost drops his glass yet another time and as he turns around to "scold" Wataru again Wataru shushes him and takes Eichis, who is more confusedd than anything by now, hand and sneaks out of the ballroom with him.
Eichi asks where they are going and Wataru doesn't answer he just keeps walking and Eichi decides to just trust the process and suddenly they're on the Balcony again, not a cloud in the sky and the only sounds to be heard are the muffled instrumentals from the orchestra that started playing their next piece. The only lightsource being the moonlight reflected by the new years snow. And Wataru turns around, he's not wearing a mask anymore, and he does his little bow and kisses Eichis hand, hands him a rose he had appear from nowhere - a white one this time - and does his entire "May I have this dance with the lovely star of the evening" spiel again. It's the same routine really but it's different somehow. More intense. Because he says it with more sincerity than he did when they were around more people. And Eichi doesn't even have to reply before he finds himself whisked into this waltz yet again, somehow in the leading position. And then they dance and they dance and it's just the two of them, the stars as their only witnesses. And as the orchestra finishes their piece and the music fades out Eichi dips Wataru again and they kiss and it is so sappy and they are so so so so sappy.
They stay out on the balcony a little while longer but they retreat back inside rather timely seeing as it is still january and the night and as the following consequence of those two circumstances actually pretty cold and they'd both rather Eichi not get sick (he already got Watarus coat but then they'd also both like it very much if Wataru also didn't get sick either so they migrate back into the empty, dimly lit hallways of the mansion rather quickly)
(meanwhile at the actual ball people have noticed Eichi missing and started to ask questions, poor Yuzuru has to repeatedly tell people Eichi probably retreated into his quarters already, seeing as it is rather late and he was rather tired "Please excuse the young master for his failing in notifiying the other guests, he told me he didn't wish to interrupt the nice atmosphere and preferred to leave unnoticed".)
After the festivities died down Yuzuru and Tori go to check up on Eichis room because he's been gone without any notice and it would probably be useful to know if their kind-of-roommate just went away to fool around with that strange bard man they've been seeing sneaking around their mansion from time to time that Eichi seems to be oddly fond of or if the should actually be worried about his well-being. After they knock and get no reply Yuzuru just opens the door and he and Tori are both greeted with the view of Eichi asleep in his bed and next to him the also seemingly fast asleep figure of Wataru who's braid got considerably more lose during the course of the evening and who's also seemingly wearing some of Eichis sleepwear.
They both decide they have seen enough they do neither need nor wish to see more. Yuzuru, who has been in this situation before doesn't even have it in him anymore to react in a specific way. He just lets out this big sigh because he doesn't get paid enough for all of this as he directs Tori out of the room. Tori who has not been in this situation before has a Lot of questions now because he doesn't know this man but he's apparently closer to Eichi than most other people and he doesn't know how to feel about that but happy is probably not it.
(The following day Eichi has to listen to a (rightfully) disgruntled Yuzurus passive-agressive-yet-somehow-still-very-polite-sounding-Yuzuru-complaints about him just disappearing like that and leaving it to Yuzuru to take care of his mess (Eichi promises him to make up for it and that if Yuzuru has any favour to ask he's very welcome to come to Eichi about it). Tori really wants to ask about the strange man Eichi was so involved with but between not really getting a word in while Eichi and Yuzuru are talking and not really knowing how to take the exceedigly good mood Eichi is in (he's had "A very nice evening". With utmost certainty it was for reasons other than him actually enjoying the mingling witht the high society at social function he was obligated to host, Tori guesses), he kind of clinks out here and decides to simply take matters into his own hands when he gets the chance.)
#never let me write anything about them ever again#this got so long again I really just wrote my heart out huh#can you believe I actually researched flower language for this#in the middle I remembered that January is actually really cold at night so maybe I should switch up my approach a little#hm. did that work out? I have no idea#I kind of blacked out somewhere in the middle#Hiyori could've been in this idk he was there too somewhere with Jun or something#Eden attended the event but they're unimportant right now#can you tell I love fairytales by the way I feel like that got a little obvious throughout this entire AU#oh I should make a tag for this I'm actually rather fond of my embarrassing cringefail wataei au rambles#Btw when Wataru comes back home he's also in a very good mood and the elderly inn-keeper couple tease him about it#I've gotten very soft about that little thing that started as a side bit initially#those are his parents now they looked at this guy that has been occupiying this one room for a Long while#and that pays his rent by doing shows for the guests or helping in the kitchen or generally just helping around#some things are just easier when you're young and energetic#and they looked at him and his birds and went ''You're a little strange and off putting but you're part of the family now''#this is way less profound than the first one it's suuuper self indulgent and a little lame but I like indulging from time to time#head in hands i really like wataei#wataei#OH! wait there's symbolism in the dance scene (the second one)#the rest is just me being silly#yumefan🎼🌠#Wataru could wear Eichis clothes no problem I think thats so neat#because they're the same height and it's been said Wataru can pass perfectly for a woman so I assume he has more of a slim frame#chances are Eichis clothes sit loser on him than on Eichi i think that's a little funny#the possibility is there is all I'm saying#<- tag until i figure something out that sounds nicer#Märchen au
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I have a little fic planned, and normally, I write the whole fic out before I post (or at least I try to, some fics take on a life of their own once I start), but I'm, like, really tempted to just post the first part already. Mostly because it's angsty, and I feel compelled to share the heartbreak.
#me and my nonsense#I haven't posted anything since January and I feel weird about it#but I was taking a break from fanfic in February to write a novel#and I did write that novel - the draft is complete#but then I was so so tired because I wrote 60k+ in a month#and like I had a fic planned for Bucky's birthday but obviously that didn't happen whoops#so I really feel like it should be time for me to come back to fic writing#but I don't have any fics DONE and my brain is like CANNOT POST IF NOT DONE which is just silly tbh but whatever#anyway this is me shaming myself for not writing more over the last two weeks I guess?#anyway do people actually prefer fics with consistent update schedules or do people not really care?
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I keep rereading your satoru stuff to ignore canon
I cant believe you wrote jjk/j
I am choosing to believe your fics and stuff are canon especially the satoru reunion one
Also I am the “I hope it’s the stupid trope that it’s all a dream” anon and your newest Drabble is so dhsjejwkw/pos
AJADHKHS hi again nonnie babes !!
STOP i'm kicking my feet and giggling rn !! nothing makes fic writers happier than knowing people actually come back and reread their shit like you're making me blush nonnie :33
anyways you're right this is gege's secret tumblr acct and the only thing that's canon is that satoru was unsealed and you both live happily ever after—you heard it first !!
#[𐐪— asks. 𐑂]#STOP i forgot about the reunion one#and to think i wrote that literally back in january bc we all thought shoko was healing him#turns out that was NOT happening#bruh we really look like fools for holding out so much hope im sickkkk#anyways ILY NONNIE !!#tysm for dropping by im genuinely giddy over you and your ask :33#hugging you very tight rn#mwah mwah <3333
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Kageyama probably lotioned his hands religiously, ‘cause smooth skin laid across every centimeter the eye could see. Shoyou’s skin was patchy and rough in places from the weather, but Kageyama’s was like eggs and milk and butter all whisked together. And he realized that it smelled like it, too. Kageyama’s hands were the scent of waiting for cookies to cool. Waiting. Kageyama had gotten weirdly good at waiting. In the bitter winter, Kageyama had still been forming his hands with love. Shoyou was stunned at his own thoughts.
#hinata shoyou#kageyama tobio#haikyuu!!#kagehina#shoubio#I wrote this back in january i think#it's a part of a fic i'm still working on :-)#i really miss december and january even though they were so sad#that's okay though#I'm starting to look forward to spring for the first time#it's hard to feel that there's still so much for me to learn#it's okay 'cause i think shoyou and tobio feel like that too#writing#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyū!!#haikyuu#Tobio Kageyama#shoyou hinata#i will take my time#and it will be lovingly made :)#love you#fanfiction
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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hmm. im aromantic in the same way that my dog is a dog
#shes weird about it#like. 'what kind of weird dog has never gone thru the trash' is to my dog what#'what kind of weird aroace has written more love songs than anything else' is to me#anyway. WOW i wrote a whole lot of them in like. january thru april 2022#probably wrote like 20 that year at least#like seriously what kind of weird aromantic does that#ari opinion hour#(the trick is: never ACTUALLY said it was romantic love. in any of those songs. so. plausible deniability in that i dont have to say what#anything is. because i do not actually know 😌😌😌😌 all i know is that its Not Normal 😌😌😌😌)#(also counting snows lullaby in that and that is entirely platonic BUT ITS STILL LOVE!!!!!!)#looking thru my back catalogue why is there so much. i have written so many fucking songs
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The word "Sorry" (for the wip game)
sadly no “sorry” yet for my current chapter BUT there are a few from other things I’m still working on for future chapters… this is from chapter 18 (potentially) of iawwyh:
“He said he was sorry for being such an asshole… and some other things… but he wanted to get a beer with me.”
#wip ask game#thanks :)#it’s mostly likely gonna be for chapter 18 so long as I don’t change it again#but this time I’m pretty sure it will not change lol#i know I’ve babbled a lot about pre writing for this fic…#I am pretty sure I wrote this part back in late January or early March (didn’t write much in February lol)
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Secret Book: April Showers
The tight squeeze in her chest was more than just a tiny tug; it was like her heartstrings were being pulled along by someone special. The sky was a cloudy grey, rain drizzling down as if it was decorating a new dessert. April showers bringing May flowers along the way, as the scent of hydrangeas lingered in the fresh air.
With only one umbrella to spare, there stood two people, their shoulders just slightly brushing against each other. “I didn’t think I’d find you looking for shelter during this time of the year,” the male’s voice laced with a lighthearted tone, his hand gripping the umbrella a little tighter than usual. “I thought I had one, okay…” Her small voice emitted a slight pout as she awkwardly stared at the ground.
“Besides, I thought you had practice today? Is the diligent Tomoya skipping?” Her voice perks up, questioning the boy as if it was a detective case. Tomoya shook his head, there was no way he’d skip practice in his life, but today was a special case. “Today’s our day off; did you forget, Runa?” Tomoya asked, his face slightly flushed at the close proximity as he realized how close he was to her.
The racing beat of his heart was no louder than the pouring rain itself, but it felt louder than it seemed. “Oh… it is?” Her airheaded response was no joke; she had no idea it was Tomoya’s day off. However, this was a regular occurrence between the two, as it was an everyday experience for Tomoya, as he had dealt with more problematic people before.
Tomoya couldn’t help but have his rose-colored lenses take over his vision, everything about her was so lovable, but could he really take the leap of faith with his secret in hand? Everything has to be perfect; he couldn’t miss up on this only chance. From the first day he met Runa, he felt a spark in his chest, almost as if it was a never-ending firework; every day he spent with her was bliss, drunk on the euphoric feelings he’d feel when with her.
The pitter-pattering of the crystal tears hitting the umbrella to the floor was calming, but if only it could calm the hearts of the two. As if it was fate, their voice was in sync, “Hey…” Their eyes captured each other in a trance as they quickly looked away. “You can go, Runa,” Tomoya offered, his hand reaching to the back of his neck in anxiousness.
Runa awkwardly shifted her body away from Tomoya with a worried expression worn on her face, “You sure?” To only receive a nod of reassurance, “Then… come down here, please?” Runa tugged on the boy’s sleeve to reach her level. With the lad complying with her request, he bent down to her level as she whispered a secret only she knew.
As she whispered her secret, it was almost as if the rain poured harder than before. Her face was flushed, but she tried to muster a brave face nonetheless. Tomoya felt his heart burst, his face redder than anything else on this planet, “You’re serious, right?” It felt like he was living inside his dream, but he wasn’t.
“Do you think I’d joke about something like this?” Her face revealed the truth of her secret; none of this was a joke. Tomoya felt like his heart exploded, almost like he was the protagonist in a shoujo manga. His flustered face was filled with sugar-crystal thoughts. No words could describe how Tomoya felt, but in the simplest terms, he was euphoric.
#tomoruna#tomoruna actual !!!! lore#GUYS IM HAVING A TOMORUNA COMEBACK#bro this is like really really old#I WROTE THIS BACK IN JANUARY
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I've done the hardest thing in the world (submitted one of four overdue pieces all of which are basically done but unfortunately I am simply psychotic) and now I have to do it again what is this
#also i did spend two days dissociating and deciding i never wanted my name attached to anything ever again#and would rather **** myself than attempt the tedious process of picking my career back up again#like dude look at it its on the floor just leave it let it grow moss nature will reclaim it#anyway time to do some invoicing paperwork!!!!#and submit something I wrote on uhhhhh january 4th sure does feel good to have normal brain
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