#wrong their but i’m too lazy to fix oops

[sturnioloho]

lmfao just saw this and instantly thought of the triplets

[vantejinnieee]

black dress | jjk

pairing: jungkook x female reader

genre: fluff, smut, committed relationship

rating: 18+

warnings: fingering, oral, penetration, public sex, unprotected sex, non idol au, playful bickering

word count: 2.3k+

summary: in which you and your boyfriend decide to go shopping. and thing take a spicy turn.

A/N: idk if i like this one but i tried 

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“I really need a dress for the party tonight.” “Don’t you have like thousands of dresses already?” “I do have dresses jungkook, but i don’t have a black party dress. the dress code is black remember? and also i have lesser dresses than the number of black shirts you won.” 

jungkook and you have been playfully bickering with each other for the past few minutes. you wanted to go shopping but jungkook was too lazy to leave the house.

jungkook looked offended and said, “excuse me but black shirts are a necessity. see how it’s come in handy for tonight’s party?” 

“doesn’t mean you need hundreds of the same shirt.”

“ok fine i’ll come shopping with you if that means you stop talking shit about my black shirts.”

you giggled and hopped towards jungkook who was sitting on the bed and hugged him. “i love you, you know that?”

jungkook sighed. “you just want to be a passenger princess don’t you?”

“oops.” you giggled.

jungkook smiled at your cuteness and pulled you closer to him. he softly kissed you on your lips, his hands making his way under your shirt.

you pull back. “woah woah mister. now’s not the time to get nasty. we need to  leave now.”

you get up from the bed and skipped towards the closet to change. jungkook adoringly looked at you skipping from happiness. “i’m a lucky guy”, he thought to himself.

almost 35 minutes later, you arrived at the mall. since it was the weekend the mall was pretty much packed.

“this is gonna take a while isn’t it?” jungkook said while looking at you.

“it will go by quickly if you help me pick a dress. you have good taste.”

jungkook took your hand and intertwined your fingers with his. “i don’t have good taste you just look too good in everything. an angel you are.”

you blushed at his unexpected compliment and looked away.

“got shy all of a sudden?” jungkook giggled and pulled at your hand. “come on let’s go. we’ve gotta get you a black dress.”

around 20 minutes had gone by and you still hadn’t found the perfect dress for you.

“honey i really liked the second dress on you. it was very flattering.” jungkook tried to cheer you up as your search wasn’t going all too well.

“it made me look like i’m a divorced woman living all alone in the suburbs”, you pouted.

“forever 21′s right there. maybe you’ll find something there.”

“i better hope so.”

as you were browsing through the dresses, you found a dress just to your liking. it was a midi bodycon black dress, with a slit on the right side and a small cutout below the chest.

you signalled jungkook, who was browsing through shoes in another section, to come to you.

“found one bae?”

“i think so. come and sit outside the fitting room. tell me how it looks.”

“roger”

thankfully, the fitting room aisle was completely empty. you entered the farthest fitting room and hoped that this was the dress.

as you tried it on, you automatically knew that was the one. it hugged you just at the right curves, accentuating your perfect body figure. it had an open back and just the right amount of cleavage. you felt sexy in it.

you popped your head out of the room to call for jungkook. he glanced at you and smiled, making his way towards you.

you opened the door wide for him to check out the dress, and you.

his eyes grew wid. “wow. honey you look phenomenal. so sexy.” his eyes kept lingering over your body and you felt your cheeks becoming warmer under his gaze.

you did a twirl for him to show off the back.

“WOW.”

his mouth was wide open all the while as he checked you out. 

“wait there’s something wrong with the dress.” he suddenly pointed out to the back.

“what? is it torn?”

“no, wait let me fix it for you.” he glanced if anyone else was nearby and entered into the fitting room with you.

the fitting rooms had floor to ceiling doors so no one on the outside would be able to tell he was in there with you.

“so what’s wr-”

you couldn’t even finish your sentence before jungkook started kissing you, passionately. one of his hands was desperately roaming all over your body, while the other held your neck for stability.

you pulled away. “jungkook what are you doing?” you whispered to him.

“you look way too irresistible baby. let me have you. i don’t think i can wait.”

“bunny we’re in a public place right now. someone might hear us. we could be reported.”

“so just keep it down if you don’t want to be caught. can i continue?”

you gulped. you’ve been jungkook for almost two years now and you had never seen him as he was desperate now. he was becoming impatient by every passing second. and you enjoyed it, making you more daring.

you lightly pulled him closer to you by his shirt and slid your other hand over his bulge.

taking the signal, jungkook picked you up and started kissing you, with your back pressed against the cold mirror.

his hands were gripping your ass as he held you in position. you put your hands around his neck, while playing with his hair, which drove him crazy.

he started planting kisses on your neck, making you moan lightly.

he pulled away from you. “shit i can’t do this anymore.”

he put you down and undressed you till you were completely naked.

“gorgeous. so hot, as always.” he said while glancing you from head to toe.

you smiled and pulled him by his pants and unbuckled his pants, and then removed his shirt, while he desperately kissed you and his hands wandered all over your body, desperate to be inside you, to have a taste of you.

after he was completely naked too, he began kissing your breasts, sucking and nibbling on your nipples. his hands met your womanhood, making you flinch from the sudden contact.

“you’re so wet baby.”

“what did you expect? you drive me crazy jungkook.”

he started slowly rubbing your clit in circles. he kneeled down and put your left leg on his shoulder.

he now had a clear view of your glorious mess down there, which was his favourite sight in the world.

his mouth met your pussy. he slid his tongue inside you and started thrusting his tongue in you slowly. his one hand held you by your hips as the other slowly rubbed your pulsating clitoris.

but he was going too slow, just to tease you and make you crave for more. and he succeeded.

“jungkook please, go faster. i need you.” you practically begged him as you were painfully turned on by then.

satisfied by your reaction, jungkook started thrusting two fingers inside you, while his tongue now sucked and massaged your clitoris, giving you just the right amount of stimulation to make you go over your edge.

you held onto jungkook with one of your hands while you covered your mouth with the other hand. you didn’t want your moans to be heard.

you rolled your eyes back as you were being driven closer to the edge by the second.

“fuck jungkook please don’t stop. just like that baby. i’m gonna come”

jungkook went faster, while he kept his eyes on you as you were nearing your orgasm.

soon enough, your legs were shaking from the orgasm, your thighs pressing jungkook’s face between you and your juices spilling all over his face. even though you tried your best to not let out a noise, you couldn’t hold it in anymore and let out a moan as you orgasmed.

jungkook pulled your thighs apart and licked all your juices and pushed his tongue in you, getting more of your juice and swallowing it, savouring your taste which he loved so much, all the while he maintained eye contact with you.

you felt shy as you watched him practically drink your juice, but it only turned you on more. 

“that’s my favourite taste ever in the world, you know that?” jungkook said as he got up from his knees pulled you closer to him.

you shyly smiled and put your arms around him, hiding your face in his chest.

“look at me baby.” he said while lifting your chin up toward him.

he kissed you, making you taste the little bit of your juice which was still on his lips. that was hot.

he slowly pushed you back while making out, till your back hit the mirror. 

he took his penis in his hand and lightly brushed his tip against your clit. he loved teasing you.

“don’t do this jungkook. i want you in me.” you pleaded him with a pout.

he let out a giggle. “you’re so fucking hot but adorable at the same time. how’s that so?”

“i guess i just hav-”

you didn’t even get to finish your sentence when jungkook pushed himself inside you slowly.

you moaned loudly, taken aback. jungkook quickly put his hand over your mouth.

he put one of your legs over his shoulder, giving him easy access to your g-spot. by now he knew just the spots to hit to drive you over the edge.

his hands leaned against the mirror for support as he started thrusting inside you even faster. you pursed your lips together so as to not let out a moan. you intertwined your fingers around his neck and pulled him closer, pushing him deeper into you.

you let out a light moan as you put head on his neck and bit him lightly. he hissed from the pain but only went faster.

just then, someone knocked on the door, making jungkook stop.

“hi is someone in there?” a woman asked.

both of you looked at each other and tried not to make any noise. 

“hi yeah, it’s occupied right now. i brought quite a lot of clothes to try out. sorry it’ll take a few more minutes.”

jungkook, being the mischief he is, started thrusting, moving in and out of you slowly.

your eyes widened and you mouthed “what the fuck” to him.

“oh okay. i was just checking. saw you going in earlier but didn’t see you coming out. if you need any assistance do let me know ma’am.” the employee replied.

“yes thank you, but i don’t think that’ll be needed.”

you tried your best to maintain your breath and jungkook started picking up his pace.

“alright ma’am, i’ll be nearby if you do.”

as you heard her footsteps fade away, jungkook started going as fast as he could, taking you by surprise once again and letting out a loud moan. 

jungkook sushed you by kissing you. he continued kissing you but that didn’t stop you from moaning on his mouth. 

he removed one of his hands from the mirror and started massaging your clit in a fast motion.

you arched your back, nearing your orgasm. 

“are you coming?” jungkook whispered in your ears as he tried not to moan as well.

“y-yes. so cl-clo-close. fuck.”

“you feel so good baby fuck i’m going to cum soon.”

you scratched his back as you felt a knot forming in your stomach.

“now?” 

“i’m coming jungkook. oh fuck. shit.”

jungkook quickly kissed you to silence you as your nails dug deeper into his flesh and your legs shook tremendously from your second orgasm.

as you were finished with your orgasm, jungkook pulled away and slid two of his finger into you and licked the juice off his fingers.

“so good.”

you lowered yourself and took jungkook’s penis in you, as he still had to cum. you started sucking on his cock, making him moan lightly.

he held your head and gently pushed his penis deeper into your mouth, making your eyes tear.

“i’m gonna come fuck.”

he pulled out his cock from your mouth. “i want to swallow.” you told him.

he stroked his penis with his hands and quickly inserted his penis in your mouth again and came in your mouth. 

you swallowed as much as you could and licked the rest off.

jungkook got you up from the floor and kissed you.

“that was one hell of an experience.”

“it really was.” you smiled. “now get dressed soon or else we might actually get caught.”

you both quickly got dressed and checked if there was any mess you needed to clean up. luckily, there wasn’t much.

you grabbed your things and was about to unlock the door when jungkook tugged at your arm.

“what honey?”

“nothing. just, i love you.” he kissed your forehead.

you smiled and kissed him on his cheeks. “i love you too. i love life with you.”

“and i wouldn’t have it any other way either.”

you unlocked the door and took a peek outside, making sure no one was outside.

seeing as the coast was clear, you signalled jungkook to come out too.

“did you find something you liked ma’am?” the employee, who had interrupted you sex, asked.  

“oh yes. i’d like to get the dress please.”

“it’s a magic dress.” jungkook jokingly told the employee.

you nudged jungkook and smiled at the employee. “it’s an inside joke.”

she let out a polite laugh, “i could tell. i won’t tell on you, don’t worry.”

dumbfounded, you asked, “i’m sorry?”

she just kindly smiled. “the counter’s over here ma’am. please follow me.”

you looked over at jungkook, who was equally as dumbfounded as you.

“oh yeah. she definitely heard us. she definitely knows we just had sex.” jungkook says. “at least she knows you’re with a man who pleasures you so much.”

“shut it.” you hit his arm. “let’s get out of here quickly.”

jungkook laughed and followed you. “oh just so you know, we’re definitely going for a round two tonight. i might just tear that dress off of you.”

“jungkook quiet”

“yes ma’am”

“you’re so annoying”

“only for you”

[coza-main]

Goldie knows me so well

[nattikay]

identifying what time frame a doodle takes place in based on how i draw jlaire: a silly guide

edit: i spelled “whether” wrong because I’m dumb but I’m too lazy to fix it rn oops

[harveywritings92]

Bnha Mafia AU Scenario: You need a new bra

[Summary: Busty reader! the last of your bra hooks break while lifting boxes at work! Leaving you in a bit of pickle, so, you text your friend telling her to go your house get you another bra... At least you though you thought it was your friend...]

"Goddamn lazy sons..." You huffed bending down getting another box of the floor, Naoki your male co-worker was supposed to be doing this but he decided texting on his phone and flirting with Mei from accounting was productive then doing his job! you huffed lifting a box full of text-book up when you felt your bra loosen..*Crap, one of the hooks must've snapped...oh, well I still got two more." then you felt your bra start to slip off did you realize your mistake...

This was the bra from last week! the one that had a broken hook after playing with your cat, you felt the second one snap this when you were putting on your jacket this morning...  Your face was on fire as you awkwardly looked around making sure you were the only person in the storeroom before unbuttoning your blouse and and taking off your broken bra to examine it to see if may the hook didn't break, maybe it just bent and you could fix it! Nope, it was definitely broken... How embarrassing you huffed grabbing your phone and texting your friend telling her it was an emergency!

{My bra broke, I need you get me another at my house! and please hurry my supervisors gonna be here any minute! I'm in Storeroom 13} 

[seen a 12:45 ✔✔]

Twenty minutes later...

"Y/n I got your text open the door"

You blinked bemused that didn't sound like your friend it sounded like... 

____________________________________________________________________________________

Shigaraki Position: the big boss: You open the door to see Tomura standing outside in the hall, You stared at the mob boss incredulously, before registering what he said *he saw my text...*, You looked down at you phone and saw his name on top of the screen...Your face felt like it was on fire as Shigaraki cleared his throat, you looked at him and saw he was blushing as he held out a bag from a very every expensive lingerie brand which looked at bemused did he buy her a new bra... "Y-you Didn't have get m-" He cut you off "Just take it!" You blinked and took the bag from the white haired mob boss, who waited outside thinking about the embarrassing situation at the lingerie store... 

He got that text and went to ask Kurogiri to bring the car around as he was going to attend to your wishes, until Dabi got a look at his phone and snorted. "Well, no shit it broke, she's not even wearing the right size!" the hit man noticed his boss eying him suspiciously. "And how exactly would you know that?" the scarred man just smirked knowing Shigaraki doesn't have a lot experiences with women.

"Boss I'm hit-man, it's my job to analyze people right down to what brand of socks they wear, You think I wouldn't notice a chick with {y/cup} size boobs in a {not y/cup} bra? it pretty obvious, especially when she does that little squirmy shrug thing with her shoulders."  

Shigaraki seemed to take this to heart as he didn’t like the thought of you being uncomfortable, So he had Kurogiri to take him to a lingerie store instead of your home, needles to say the staff were all on edge when the notorious head of the Shigaraki group came waltzing into their shop, looking around nervously at the various styles and varieties of underwear and sexy sleepwear.

One of the sales ladies finally mustered up the balls to approached and asked if he needed help. Shigaraki explained the situation and the lady put on a tight smile and helped him with obvious reluctance, before setting on a sky blue bra, but then Shigaraki paused when he saw a couple of other sleep sets he figured you'd like and one that he liked that was made to look like a game controller bought those too. 

He heard the door open and saw you walk out, Tomura cheeks were pink when he noticed that your chest looked like it had gotten perkier, that extra padding really was worth it, he'll have to have Kurogiri send those ladies at the Lingerie store a card or something... "D-does it fit alright?" He stammered scratching his neck while looking a you nervous about your reaction. "Yeah, actually it fits nice..." You said surprised that you're boyfriend got your size right. 

"That good! that's nice!...um I have to go I see you after work" he said kissing you on the cheek and walking out the back door, just as your worried boss rounded the corner asking why the head of Shigaraki was here? and where had he gone, yeah forgot to mention your company in under the Shigaraki's protection, but that was long before you and Tomura were a thing.

Needless to say when you got home that evening you were very surprised to find at least four more bags of Lingerie waiting for you on your coffee table, your face felt like a furnace as you read a note from Tomura detailing his high hopes that you'll be wearing at least one of them, and what he plans to do with you when he comes over to play later!~ 

===========================================

Dabi Position Hitman/Enforcer: There stood Dabi dried blood on his jacket (at least you think it was dry, the jacket too black to tell.) with a pervy grin on his face as he held up a bag from a lingerie store... your eye twitched and went close the door in his face when he wedged his foot in the door to stop you. "Easy there Fairy~ I'm just answering your distress signal!" he said teasingly causing you look at him oddly.

"What are you on about?" He put his hand in mock hurt. "Oh that text wasn't for little ol'me?" Again you looked him like he'd grown six heads, before looking down at your phone and saw that, yes. You had texted Dabi instead of Abbi, oops... "Actually that text was meant for Abbi. " the hit-man took then shrugged. "Well then I guess I'll be goin.." You grabbed his arm. "h-Hold up!, hold up lets not be hasty now!" he looked back at you with a smirk as he handed you the bag.

Dabi waited outside the door when he heard you muffled "What the fuck?" then you angerly yelling at him. "Get in here right now!" the hitman resisted the urge to burst of laughing at your face, as you held up a cupless bra for him to see. "If you seriously think I’m gonna wear this I'm cutting your dick of right now!" you hissed as Dabi feigned innocence. "What. what wrong with it?" He eyes watched you reach for a shelf where they store the extra blades for the Paper-guillotine, and he put his hands up.

"Okay, okay I’m just kiddin' with ya!" he took the bag from you and pulled out a dark purple bra with teal polka dots the inside of the cup was also teal, you hummed before putting it on and were pleasantly surprised that it fit you! "That feel better than that [not y/cup] size rag you've been wearing?"  You gawked at him bemused "Wait...I was wearing the wrong size? How did you notice?" Dabi said you squirming your shoulders and walking around like the hunch back of Notre-Dame was a dead giveaway.

You hummed putting your shirt back and Dabi with this little smirk on his face seeing the improvement that bra. "Looks like Patty and Selma are safe and snug in their new home.~" he purred watching them puff up when you crossed your arms. "I still don't get why you named them after the aunts from The Simpsons." You say as you watch him check his phone. "Because!" He kissed you on the cheek before going to the window. "...They're always smokin~" he winked before hopping out the window and running into the foggy afternoon, just as you boss cam in asking if you were done with inventory? And where the hell was your male co-worker?! that night Dabi was pleasantly surprised to find you trying on the cupless bra; checking yourself out in the mirror let's just say the Hitman was definitely buying you more underwear if he gets to come home that every night!~

============================================

Hawks position smuggler/police informant: You were confused seeing your boyfriend standing in the hall "Hey Dove." he greeted smiling coyly and holding a sparkly bag from a Lingerie store, you looked at him oddly. "Uh...Hi?" you looked to see if your friend was hiding behind him, nope just his wings... "Why are you here?" you asked. "I got your text, see?" he took his phone and showed you his phone, your face felt warm as you saw your text staring you in the face.

You must've mistaken Keigo for Kaiko "Oh... That wasn't for you. " You hummed embarrassed Keigo didn't seemed to mind as he held out the bag to you causing you heat up realizing he bought you underwear... Which you were reluctant to take. Now it's not that you didn't trust Keigo it's just his track record buying you clothes isn't very good... but then you looked at your options and sighed taking the bag from the blond; not seeing the sneaky smirk Keigo was trying to hide.

 before he heard you go "what the hell?" he snorted and walked in the storeroom to see you holding up this, ugly neon yellow mesh bra littered with green sequins in the shape of peacock feathers that covered your nips, You looked at the bra then him at almost scared. "Dude..." You murmured in disbelief that he actually expected you to wear this! he burst out laughing you pouted and started hitting him. "Ow...ow, haha! Okay!...heh, Okay!" He snorted as he checked the bag he gave you and under all the cray paper he pulled out this red bra with little gold stars on it, it looked cute but you were skeptical as you put it on. 

"Holy crap, it fits...."You looked at him suspiciously as you were putting your shirt back on. "Who helped you?" You asked watching at he stiffened up "I don't know what you talking about..." he smiled coyly as you crossed your arms and cocked a brow, before watching Keigo's smile drop, your brows furrowed as you watched one of Keigo's feather's shot out through a gap in the door and you heard a yelp!

You both went outside in the hall to find your co-worker Naoki pinned to the wall by Keigo's feather his cell phone laying at his feet, the blond's eyes narrowed as he picked it up and looked through it, Keigo growled when he found photos of you changing on it. He looked at Naoki in disgust before crushing the phone much to your co-worker protest and hawks pocketed the memory card, then turned to Naoki. "I'd keep my mouth shut about this if I were you bub.”

Keigo hissed as brought another razor sharp feather up to nervous man's face and pressed it against his cheek. "Or else you'll learn the meaning of “”Snitches get stiches””... Ya get me?" Naoki nodded and Keigo put him down and watched him run, The blond then turned to you with a cheeky smile. "Wanna go the lunch?" You agreed and hastily left with your birdbrained boyfriend.  

[keepingupwithpotters]

“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”

This is slightly longer than usual and it doesn't even have a happy ending, oops? I presume you knew what you were doing when you sent me an angsty prompt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And a happy birthday to @mppmaraudergirl !!! Hope you'll enjoy this unrequited pining dumpster fire queen :) I only wish it was set in 6th year to complete the set 🔥🗑❤️‍🔥

The dim light from the embers was trying to illuminate the Heads’ Office as he feasted his eyes on her. He thought about rekindling the fire to see her more clearly. Would she believe him if he said he was cold in April?

Just the fact they needed more light to see —her face in his case and the parchment in front of her for Lily’s— was enough proof that they’d been here for hours now, paying the price for not doing this in the last two weeks.

He tried not to think about why they were unable to do so, the first weeks of April a black blur in his mind he’d rather not visit.

Lily’s silhouette was a good distraction from his unwanted thoughts, he turned his focus back to it. He was just about to suggest adding more logs to the fireplace, weather be damned, when he realized Lily had been talking to him for a while now.

“—tried putting her with Bones last month but he said he will land himself in the hospital wing on patrol days if we ever pair them again, so we need a new partner for her.”

“How about Selwyn?”

“No, she's a half-blood, we can’t risk it.

“Fenwick?”

Lily looked thoughtful for a moment. “Fenwick could work.”

Happy that he had thwarted the danger, he went back to his favorite pastime.

“You know, this would finish a lot faster if you were helping me instead of gawking at me from afar.”

“I’m sorry, am I disturbing you?”

“You’re disturbing my concentration, Potter. Either close your eyes or come here.”

Never one to reject an offer like this, he hurried beside her. She had another thing coming if she actually expected this to stop him from drinking her in though. He could see the shadows of her eyelashes now.

“I can help you with that performance anxiety, Evans. I heard imagining me naked should do the trick.” He swallowed the words not that you’d have any problem with it back, afraid even this was pushing the limits.

“Thank you for that mental image.”

They were still pretending nothing had happened then. Fine by him.

She did look a little flustered though, he just hoped it wasn’t in anger. He decided not to risk it anymore, taking advantage of his new proximity to the redheaded witch to follow the freckles on her cheeks. Even he couldn’t fuck this up if he never opened his mouth, could he?

Guess not.

“C’mon Potter, work with me here.”

He’d be worried if he couldn’t hear the smile in her voice. “I am. I came over here, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, to go over the patrol schedule with me,” the smile spread from her voice to her lips now, “not to continue your ogling beside my face now.”

He relented after that; still deathly afraid he could offend her unexpectedly. They went through the rest of the pairs slowly, easy laughter filling the air after a while. Lily was tapping the quill against her cheek, pondering about who to give Abbot as a partner, when he slipped up again.

It wasn’t his fault that the light hit her eyes just the right way when she was pursing her lips deep in thought. He was only human after all.

Still sprawled on her seat, it was proof of just how relaxed she was when she only laughed upon noticing, “Don’t look at me like that.”

A smart James, a James who wasn’t drunk on Lily’s laugh, would’ve never said what he said next.

“Like what?”

But he was far from that smart James now, the knowledge of what he probably looked like slipping through his foggy mind.

Her laughter hadn’t died fully yet when she said, “Like you still love me.”

Ah… Well, he brought that onto himself.

That was the hardest part about being friends with her probably. But it was okay, he had done worse things for Lily Evans than pretending he didn’t love her.

“You serenade your heart out to a girl one time…”

He didn’t bring up the other time the very same words were breathed tenderly in the dark. He wasn’t sure what was allowed yet, their newfound friendship still so fragile, so delicate.

When he realized he couldn’t have her in his life anymore unless he buried his feelings, that’s what he did, the opposite choice looking so unbearable that he hadn’t wasted a second thinking about it. So what if he sometimes felt like a tight fist was mangling his heart? He was listening to her laugh now, wasn’t he?

And he remembered what it was like, in that brief period, where he didn’t even have that in his life. Prefect meetings left abruptly, conversations ending quickly when he entered the room, gaze solely directed to people who could never appreciate them the way he would… He had been starved for her eyes, her voice, her touch. He thought he didn’t have her before, but there was never a time he didn’t have Lily Evans so completely than that damn week.

Which is why he fixed it, really, she left him no other choice. He promised her friendship, swore his feelings for her were gone, vowed to never try anything again. And as a reward, he got her back.

He kept all his promises so far, their past not-relationship (never a relationship) a taboo neither of them touched… until now. Once again Lily was steering the wheel and he was helpless but to follow her lead wherever she took him. Control had never been in his hands, and he was back to looking at her to figure out how he would be hurt next.

He wondered if this was a test when Lily looked satisfied with his answer. Was there a wrong answer to give here? Did he pass?

Lily stretched in her seat unaware of his musings, his wound still too fresh, he kept his eyes away from her this time. “I think we’re almost done here. Look it over one last time and we should be good to go.”

He took the parchment over from her distractedly, giving the schedule a lazy once-over when something caught his eye.

“You’ve put me with Remus.”

Her face stayed impassive but he could see she was fidgeting with her quill. “Uh, yes. Does that work for you?”

Suspicion arousing because of her skittish behavior, he turned his eyes to the schedule to locate her name.

There.

Lily Evans & Dirk Cresswell

“I thought you hated patrolling with Cresswell, isn’t that what you said before?”

She was unable to hide her apprehension now, her face flaming up rapidly before his eyes. “Not–not exactly.” She averted her eyes. “He asked to patrol with me at the last Slug meeting, said his current partner was causing some problems.”

He tried to relax his jaw, knowing it’d make everything worse for him if he proved her discomfort right.

“The schedule looks perfect, Evans. I think we can wrap it up for the night.”

Her relief choked up the room. “Yeah, let’s just close up the office and leave this bloody room at last.”

“Actually, you know what, why don’t you leave closing up to me?” He continued without paying attention to her halfhearted protests, “No, no, you earned it. Let me deal with the aftermath, it’s the least I can do.”

She gave him a relieved smile. “Thanks, Potter.” She was already halfway to the door when she said her goodnights.

He didn’t get up from his armchair right away, eyes stuck on the door she just left.

Pretending he didn’t love her may not be the worst thing he’d done for Lily Evans, but it was surely turning out to be the worst one for himself.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Travel To My Heart (K.SJ)

Warnings : mentions of cheating, a failing relationship, talk about a club

Word Count : 3030

Synopsis : she only meant to travel for a month and find herself before returning to her boyfriend, but instead she left for 6 months and fell in love with another man.

“My travel buddy, I’ll help you find yourself; I promise.” He smiled, holding his pinky out towards me. I linked my pinky with his, smiling back.

           “I’ll help you have a breath of fresh air; I promise.”

           “I have to work late.” Namjoon gave me a quick kiss goodbye, leaving without another word. I looked through all the pictures I took on my vacation, most of them being of the handsome man I met on the plane. The man who made me realize just how wrong my relationship with Namjoon is. When I left, I wanted to work everything out, fix the things that were wrong and come out stronger than before. But meeting Kim Seokjin changed everything.

           “I figured you’d be hungry after your nap.” My eyes were wide as I scanned all the dishes set out on the table of our Airbnb.

           “You made all of this?” I asked, looking over to Jin as I took a seat across from him. He nodded sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t even know where to start, everything looks delicious.” I exclaimed as I grabbed the chopsticks next to my bowl of rice.

           “Try this.” He said, taking some food with his chopsticks and placing on top of my rice. I smiled at him as I took it in my own chopsticks and placed it in my mouth, practically moaning at how good it tasted.

           “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” I could see the blush rising to his cheeks at the compliment. He tried to hide it and dig into the food himself, but I noticed it and couldn’t help but smile at the affect I had on him. “You’ve got to cook more often during this trip.”

           “Deal.”

           I’m not sure exactly when it happened. When my feelings began to shift from platonic to romantic; maybe they were never platonic to begin with. All I knew is one morning I woke up in the same bed as him, the sun shining in through the window, illuminating his face, and I couldn’t help but to think about how handsome he was. His eyes had soon fluttered open, and a part of me believed he could hear the pounding of my heart and woke up. He smiled when he saw I was staring at him, and it took everything in me not to kiss him right in that moment. I had a boyfriend waiting for me back home.

           A smart person would have decided to end their trip then, go back home and reconcile with their significant other, but I stayed. I stayed for another 2 months with the man I was slowly falling for. I stayed and made memories that would last me a lifetime. Memories of laughter and smiles. Memories of waves crashing on the beach and hot chocolate moustaches.

           I swear I only meant to leave for a month to find who I am without Namjoon, our relationship starting in junior high and lasting all the way into adulthood. I swear I only meant to discover myself and return to his side, happy and in love. But instead I left for 6 months and fell in love with another man.

           All the arguments and silent treatments started to have no effect on me. I no longer longed for the way things used to be, back when we first fell in love. Instead I longed for the man I walked away from. I longed for the late-night drives, singing at the top of our lungs completely out of tune. I longed for the lazy days in bed, watching dumb movies on his laptop with an array of snacks surrounding us. I longed for mornings waking up to his face and knowing everything was okay. I longed for Kim Seokjin.

           “What are you making?” I asked, taking a seat on one of the barstools at the island. Jin looked up from the bowl he was mixing ingredients in for only a second before going back to what he was doing.

           “Brownies.” He answered simply with a smile on his face. “Want to help?” I perked up and quickly jumped off the stool and rushed to his side, ready to help. “You can start mixing the dry ingredients into that bowl.” He told me, pointing at a bowl on the counter, surrounded by bags of ingredients.

           “Oops.” I said after only a couple minutes. Jin stopped what he was doing to see what I had somehow messed up on. When I turned to face him, he immediately burst into laughter, seeing me covered in flour. I pouted as I grabbed another handful and threw it at him. “It’s not so funny now, is it?” I teased.

           “Oh you did it now, princess.” He smirked, and that’s how the food fight began. The entire kitchen, ourselves included, was covered in different ingredients meant to make brownies. The brownies never got made, but we sat on the floor, our backs up against the wall, and we laughed. We laughed until there was tears in our eyes and pains in our stomachs. We laughed until we couldn’t laugh anymore, and then I rested my head on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of mine.

           Namjoon came home late like he said he would, but it didn’t bother me like it used to. It didn’t matter to me if he was actually at work, or if he had met someone else. I almost didn’t notice the smell of perfume that I didn’t own. Our relationship was over a long time ago, but neither one of us wanted to let go. We worked so hard to get to where we are. We’d fought through so much to just let it all go.

           But it was time to let go. Which is why all my things were packed into suitcases and boxes. Which is why Yoongi was outside in his truck, waiting for me to say goodbye. “I guess this is for the best.” He said, taking in how empty the house looks. I wanted to cry, to have some kind of reaction to the end of 13-year long relationship. But I felt nothing. I was numb.

           “It is.” I answered, picking up a couple bags and heading out to put them in my best friend’s truck. Both Yoongi and Namjoon helped pack everything up. And as Yoongi got back into the driver’s seat, Namjoon and I stood in front of the door, saying our final goodbyes.

           “I guess this is goodbye.” I nodded, looking down at our feet before looking up at him again.

           “I hope you have a good life, Joon.”

           “I hope you do too, Y/N.” And with that, I got into Yoongi’s truck and Namjoon went into our, his, house.

           “How do you feel?” Yoongi asked as we pulled away, driving to his place that he was kind enough to let me crash at until I could get my own.

           “Good.” I smiled and looked over at him. “I feel good.”

           “Want to go to the aquarium?” Jin asked as we ate breakfast. My eyes went wide as I nodded as fast as I could. He chuckled, shaking his head at my enthusiasm, before clearing the table. “I’ll clean up, go get ready and we can head out.” I tried to protest, saying I should clean up since he cooked, but he wouldn’t have it. “I want to spoil you today.” He smiled, pushing me out of the kitchen. And he did.

           It was my first time at the aquarium, and I ran around like a little kid, pointing out all the fishes. I watched as Jin took pictures of me, saying something about how pretty I looked when I was excited. We got a couple strangers to take pretty pictures of the two of us as well. But Jin took the most pictures when we went to the area where we could touch different animals. I pet the stingrays and the starfish. I held on to every fact the instructor told us.

           I’m sure I talked Jin’s ear off for an hour when we went to dinner afterwards. But he just sat and stared as I went on and on, a smile on my face. He showed me some of the pictures he took, and I whined at how bad I looked. But he told me I was pretty in all of them.

           We got ice cream after dinner and walked around as the sun set on the horizon. “Thank you.” I said, throwing away my empty ice cream cup and sliding my hand into his.

           “Anything for you, princess.”

           I wanted to reach out to him, tell him things are over with Namjoon, tell him I love him. But I had no way how. Namjoon made me delete his number when I got home. We agreed to work things out, so he deleted the number of the girl he was seeing when I was gone, and I deleted Jin’s. A fresh start as Namjoon put it.

           Yoongi asked me if I wanted to just stay with him. He said his apartment felt more like home with me around and my stuff cluttering his shelves. It seemed more lived in, and he liked that feeling. He was gone a lot, working at the studio, or performing at some club. “It’s nice to come home and having it not feel so empty.” He told me, and so I stayed.

           Now that I was single, Yoongi would drag me to his performances. Namjoon and I went to a couple when Yoongi first started out, wanting to support his dream. But as our relationship got rocky and fights were more frequent, we stopped. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw how large the crowd was, nearly tripling the amount when he first began.

           “I’m so proud of you.” I beamed at him as he got ready to go onstage. He tried to fight the smile and keep his reputation as cold-hearted Agust D, but he’s never been able to keep that façade around me.

           “Are you going to stay back here?” He asked as someone told him he was on in 5 minutes.

           “I want the full experience; it’s been too long. Besides, I saw the guys right at the front. I’ll join them.” He nodded and I took my leave, meeting the friends he introduced me to a few weeks prior in the front row.

           “Hey Y/N!” Jimin exclaimed, pulling me in for a hug. I greeted all of them, excited to see my best friend on stage again.

           “You’ve come so far!” I exclaimed as the 6 of us walked down the block to a 24/7 diner for a celebratory dinner. “Like seriously, Yoongs, you were incredible. You were meant to be on stage!”

           “Oh shut up.” Yoongi said, but I could see the rose colour dusting his cheeks and the smile he was trying to hide.

           “The effect you have on Yoongi hyung is incredible.” Jungkook joked, playfully bumping Yoongi with his shoulder. I linked my arm through Yoongi’s as we walked, something I used to do when we were growing up, before Namjoon and I started dating.

           “I missed this.” I thought out loud, and the others just looked at Yoongi and I with small smiles dancing across their lips. We walked the rest of the way in silence, but that didn’t last long before the younger boys burst into stories of dumb decisions they’ve made. Hoseok and Yoongi joined in with some of their stories, and I just listened to all of them, hanging on to every word they all said, laughing along with them. And all I could think is that Jin would absolutely love them.

           Jin would join in with some of his own stories, making all of them laugh. He would critique the food as if he was a famous food critic, putting on a performance as he did it, accent, and all. He would join in the teasing of the other boys, but then make sure everyone had enough to eat before we left.

           Yes, Jin would get along well with my new friends and my best friend. He would make it seem like we’ve known each other for years. He would make all of us wonder how this hasn’t been the way it’s always been. Because everything would fall perfectly into place like this is the way it should have been.

           I wish I didn’t choose Namjoon over Seokjin all those months ago.

           One afternoon when Yoongi was at the studio, I decided to walk around, maybe find a quiet place to read and just get out of the apartment. I packed my book into my purse and put in my earbuds before leaving, bopping my head along to the music playing.

           I checked out a couple stores as I wandered before stumbling across a small café. Looking through the window, it seemed almost empty, but it was practically calling to me. A bell dinged when I opened the door, catching the attention of the barista behind the counter. I took in the rustic décor and smiled at the familiar scent of coffee. “Just an iced latte please, to stay.” I ordered, smiling softly at the teenager behind the counter.

           As I waited for my drink, I looked around, taking in the whole café. There were a few customers scattered about, some chit-chatting, some working. As I scanned over the tables, my eyes stopped on a familiar face, my heart skipping a beat. An entire beat. It’s like fate called out to me this warm afternoon and placed me here at the exact time Kim Seokjin would be here.

            I grabbed my finished drink, the book I was planning to read forgotten at the bottom of my purse, and confidently walked up to the man I’ve missed every single day since we returned from vacation. “Mind if I sit?” I asked, pointing at the empty chair across from him. He looked up from his laptop, eyes widening when he saw me standing in front of him.

           “Please do.” He smiled, closing his laptop, and putting it into his bag. Silence settled around us after I sat down, neither one of us knew what to say. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t know where to start, or if he even wanted to hear my excuses for leaving him at the airport, walking away hand in hand with Namjoon. “How’ve you been?” He settled on small talk. But it’s better than nothing. It’s better than silence.

           “Good. I’ve been really good.” I smiled. “How’ve you been?”

           “Good.” The silence settled again. I hated how awkward things were. It was never like this between us, not even when we met on the plane, agreeing to travel around together.

           “Namjoon and I broke up.” I finally said. “Our relationship had been over for a while, I think. We both fell out of love but didn’t want to make the move to leave.” I continued, fiddling with my cup of coffee, the ice slowly melting and watering it down.

           “How do you feel about that?”

           “Honestly, relieved.” He let out a small chuckle.

           “You look great, like you’ve truly found yourself.” I looked down at what I was wearing. An outfit I never dared to wear when I was with Namjoon. I grew up with him, matured with him. And it seemed like we turned into each other, becoming one single person instead of separate identities in one relationship.

           “You helped a lot. But I think finally ending things and moving out was the final straw.” I didn’t let the silence settle around us again. Instead I jumped in and told him about Yoongi and his performances. I told him about Hoseok and Jimin and Taehyung and Jungkook. I told him about all the antics they get up to and the adventures they’ve dragged me out on. I’ve done so many things I never dreamed of doing when I was with Namjoon, and I felt truly happy.

           But I stared ahead at the man I fell in love with in a foreign country, and he smiled softly as he listened to me talk about my new friends, and I knew I could be happier.

           He told me all the things he’s done since we got back. How he doesn’t put as much pressure on himself at work. All the new ideas he’s come up with that have been huge successes for his business and thanked me for helping him get out of his head.

           And I watched him talk, a small smile on my face. He seemed relaxed and happy. Things seemed to just fall back into place with us as we talked for hours, our previous plans long forgotten in each other’s company.

           It’s like we travelled back in time, back to a different country, sightseeing and getting lost but not caring. But instead we were in our home country, walking around under the stars since the café closed. Soon we were standing outside the apartment building I now lived in, but I didn’t want to say goodbye. “I want to see you again, Jin.” I said before he could turn to leave. “Namjoon made me delete your number.” I told him as I handed him my phone, an empty contact open for him to add in his number for a second time.

           “Anything for my princess.” He smiled, handing my phone back to me, his number saved once again. “I hope to see you soon.” I nodded and he left.

           I swear I only meant to leave for one month, find myself and return to Namjoon’s side and love him like I used to. Instead, I left for six months and fell in love with the perfect man.

           He meant to leave and get a breath of fresh air, travel the world, and get new ideas for his business. And while we travelled the world together, making memories that would last a lifetime, he travelled into my heart and made a home.

[mnemosyne-musing]

Spoilers (River/12) prompt #7

Final one for prompt week! This has been so much fun (although my thesis has been sorely neglected this week. Oops 😬). Thanks to @riversofmars for coordinating!

ao3 link here

“Things end. That's all. Everything ends, and it's always sad. But everything begins again too, and that's always happy. Be happy. I'll look after everything else”

The Doctor turns on his heel and retreats to the safety of the TARDIS as quickly as he can. His collar suddenly feels too tight, much too tight and he loosens the top buttons with a shaking hand just so he can breathe. He closes his eyes and swallows painfully.

Be happy. A lot easier said than done apparently.

He reaches a shaking hand into his jacket pocket and pulls out an envelope. Holding it in front of him, he traces the writing on the front with a gentle hand.

He knows that sloping handwriting better than his own. He’s seen it pop up on his psychic paper countless times over the years, seen it on scrawled notes left around the TARDIS and their house on Darillium, crosswords that they’d spend a lazy Sunday afternoon completing or notes jotted in the side of books or poems.

Mum and Dad

She had finally got to a place in her relationship with her parents where they were all comfortable with who they were and what had happened. She’d opened up a bit during their twenty-four years together. Told him things that he’d assumed but never heard her say. That her relationship with Amy and Rory would never be quite like a normal parent-child relationship. It never could be really. A part of them was always going to mourn the baby daughter they had for such precious few moments. But it was as close as they were going to get and both they and River had accepted that.

And now they would never see her again.

She’d written this letter during the final few months on Darillium. The final few things she wanted to tell them.

“I’m always there for Christmas,” she’d told him, a small smile on her face, clearly thinking about all the holidays she’d already spent there, “If there’s an empty space at the table then you’ll know.”

He’d agreed to make sure it got to them. To fix the time disruptions around New York so that he could get the TARDIS there safely. So they wouldn’t be left for years with an empty place at the table. Just waiting and hoping.

He reaches out a hand for the controls but he doesn’t even manage to touch them before he feels his throat closing up again. Snatching his hand back, he clenches his fists tightly and strides away from the console, shutting his eyes against the tide of grief that threatens to overwhelm him again.

Not today. He just can’t.

He will do it. He owes her that much. But not today.

He disappears off with Nardole for a while. He saves some people here and there, gets involved with a free jazz band for a while, invents a new blend of tea. It’s a while before he feels strong enough to try and deliver the letter again.

He waits until Nardole has pottered off for the evening and then sets the coordinates, putting the TARDIS into silent and invisible mode, and pulls the lever. As the TARDIS lands, he takes a deep breath and pulls the monitor towards him with a shaking hand. The screen flickers to life and he stares at the scene in front of him. He’s parked in the back yard of a house. There’s snow on the ground around him and he can see the remnants of a snowman that’s half melted back into the ground.

He looks up towards the house and his breath catches. Through the kitchen window he can see a familiar festive scene. There’s Amy, no mistaking her despite the paper Christmas hat sat on her head, stood with her back to the window. In the background, he can see a table all set up for Christmas dinner. Amy’s obviously talking to someone as she suddenly throws her head back and laughs. He smiles, despite himself and reaches up to gently touch the screen.

“Oh, Amelia,” he whispers softly, thinking back to all the Christmases he’d spent with the Ponds in his previous incarnation. Amy and Rory’s good-natured bickering over the cooking, Amy insisting they all play charades after dinner, Rory trying not to glower at the pair of them as River’s hand slowly inched somewhere inappropriate.

A door in front of Amy opens and he suddenly catches sight of Rory. He starts as he realises Rory is holding a baby. Holding a baby and still looking quite young by the looks of things which means…

“Bugger,” he swears under his breath, realising he’s got the timing wrong. If Anthony is still a baby then this is still many years before River’s last visit. She’d told him that one of the very last times she’d been to see them that Anthony had just graduated from high school. It was one of her regrets that she wouldn’t get to see him go to college. He can’t deliver the letter now. He won’t condemn her parents to years of what he’s had to live with. The knowledge that her death is just waiting out there in the universe.

He gives one last look at the monitor before shaking his head and pulling the console lever, the TARDIS dematerialising as he stares at the now blank screen. He doesn’t let himself think too deeply about just who might have been laughing and talking with Amy in the kitchen just then. He shakes his head again. It doesn’t do to dwell on ghosts.

He tries again a week or so later. His timing is not much better. Anthony is a chubby toddler now. Running round and causing all sorts of havoc. He watches as Rory tries in vain to marshal him away from the Christmas tree with all the presents stashed under it. There was always a present for him when he’d visited before. Sometimes it was just a new pair of fancy socks or a packet of jammy dodgers. Other times it might be a new gadget or toy. He can recall at least one year River starting to get grumpy that he was paying more attention to his new yoyo than he was to her.

He lingers just a moment or two before tearing his gaze away and disappearing into the vortex.

His next attempt lands him a couple of years later. This time he’s landed in what looks like the local park. He can see Amy and Rory all bundled up and keeping a close eye on an energetic looking little boy of around four or five. He watches them as Rory chases Anthony, giggling like mad and wearing a woollen bobble hat that wobbles with every step he takes. He lets himself watch for a few minutes this time before feeling the familiar urge to wrench himself away bubbles up and he can’t take it any longer.

The pattern continues in a similar vein for a while. He tries to pilot the TARDIS to the correct year and each time she takes him just a little bit later on but not quite far enough. Always at Christmas time as well. He grumbles out loud and glares at the console but deep down he knows why she’s doing it. Just the thought of seeing the Ponds the first time had almost been enough to undo him. But by seeing bits of their life gradually, watching them as a family and how they’ve made the most of being in New York, maybe now he could face them?

Or maybe not? A part of him is still very tempted to just post the letter through their door and then run. He’s always been so good at running.

A couple of times during these visits, he’s caught sight of someone else in their house. There’s been a brief flash of golden curls at the edge of the room or a fleeting glimpse of a very familiar form disappearing through a door. He’s never seen her properly. He doesn’t think his fragile hearts would be able to cope. He can now just about stomach seeing the Ponds, but River? No, not yet. Maybe not ever?

He knows he’s getting close to the end of River’s visits. Anthony is a tall, gangly teenager now and on his last visit he overhears talk of him going to college the following year. He swallows heavily and quickly pilots the TARDIS away.

This time he stays away for a while. He’s busies himself with a university lecturing job and actually enjoys staying in one place. He’d never thought he’d be able to stomach the mundanity of a job but twenty-four years in one place has taught him the value of staying still. Well, for most of the time. His new companion, Bill, is wonderful and exactly what he needs. He puts a photo of River on his desk and even starts to talk about her. Just the occasional comment or remark. The first time he manages to say her name without choking, Nardole gives him a little nod of encouragement. He pretends not to notice and simply scowls to himself.

The TARDIS lands and he peers tentatively at the monitor. This time, he’s landed actually inside their house. He opens the door and finds himself inside a living room. He takes a few tentative steps inside, shutting the door quietly behind him. It’s a large room with several comfy looking armchairs and a sofa along one wall facing the fireplace. On the walls, alongside some art work, are framed copies of book covers. He moves closer and sees that they are books that Amy has published.

He looks at them for a few moments and then turns towards the mantel where there are a few framed photos placed amongst the few trinkets. There are a few of the three of them, a picture of Anthony in his high school graduation outfit and one of him as a cheeky toddler, his face covered in ice-cream as he beams at the camera. What draws his gaze though, is the photo in the middle of the mantelpiece. At first glance, it seems a little blurred and out of focus, as if the photographer had caught everyone slightly unawares. It’s obviously from a few years ago now in one of the local parks. Anthony is in the foreground feeding some ducks but it is the two people sat on the bench behind them that he stares at. River and Amy are sat side by side, unaware of the camera, an almost identical expression of delight on their faces as they laugh at a shared joke.

He reaches out a finger and traces it down the photo, a wistful smile curling his lips despite the lump in his throat.

“My Ponds,” he murmurs.

He lingers a moment or two before he shakes himself and turns towards the door. He walks out into the corridor, keeping an ear out all the time for anyone else in the house. It’s dark outside but it’s still early evening so he could easily encounter someone at any moment. There isn’t a sound to be heard though as he makes his way slowly down the corridor and into the kitchen.

He stops inside the doorway and stares at the dining table. He’s obviously arrived on Christmas Day again as the table bears the remnants of the festive meal with abandoned paper hats still scattered amongst the empty plates and dishes. What makes the breath catch in his throat though is not the festivities but the empty place, still set and unused, at the head of the table.

He swallows heavily as he stares at the still pristine crockery, River’s words reverberating in his head.

“If there’s an empty place, you’ll know it’s time.”

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out the letter. The envelope is now worn and creased, the ink slightly faded from all the times he’s run his fingers over the words there.

He approaches the table and carefully sets the letter down, propped up against an empty wine glass so it will be seen by whoever next enters the room. A wave of nausea suddenly wells up out of nowhere and he abruptly feels the need to be very far away. He turns swiftly on his heel, meaning to head out the door as soon as possible but as soon as he does so he freezes.

Stood, leaning against the doorway, her arms folded and head tilted to one side with a slightly amused expression on her face, is his wife.

He opens his mouth but all the possible words suddenly fail him at that moment and he simply gapes at her. Her hair is down around her shoulders and she’s wearing a dark red dress with just a hint of a teasing neckline. She looks exactly as she had all those years ago when he’d last seen her on Darillium. She looks perfect.

“Well, I can’t say that’s the Christmas greeting I was hoping for from my husband this year,” River says after a few moments where he continues to stare open-mouthed at her.

“Christmas greeting? But you, you’re-? I mean-“

River raises one eyebrow as he finally manages to engage his brain enough to produce some words.

“Was any of that supposed to make sense, sweetie?”

He frowns at her as her lips quirk up in amusement and forces himself to say something comprehensible. “You know who I am?” he demands, “This face,” he points to himself, unable to stop the kernel of hope that rises inside him, “You know me?”

“The big blue box in my parents’ living room was a bit of a giveaway,” she says, nodding towards the other room and instantly that little bit of hope inside him dies. He’s too early again. He might even have to wipe this memory from her to preserve the timelines. “And the fact that you’re clearly trying to run off before anyone sees you.”

He watches her as she pushes off the doorframe and slowly walks towards him. There’s a lump in his throat as he silently curses the TARDIS in every possible language for bringing him here now.

“You fixed the time disturbances then,” she remarks as he nods silently, still watching her every movement.

She stops just out of arm’s reach and just looks at him, her gaze raking up and down before she nods towards the table.

“You’ve missed Christmas dinner.”

“Not really that hungry,” he says hoarsely, still staring at her, hoping she doesn’t glance down and see her own letter. She’ll recognise her own handwriting and will immediately guess why he might be delivering her parents such a letter.

“Pity,” River replies, a small smirk again playing around her lips, “Maybe I can entice you with dessert.”

He lets out a small huff of laughter despite himself and shakes his head at her. “You’re incorrigible.”

She smiles properly this time. “Thank you, sweetie.”

She glances towards the table and he sees her frown as he gaze falls on the envelope. He starts to panic. He clears his throat and says almost the first thing that comes into his head.

“Hang on, you said I missed Christmas dinner?”

She turns back to him with a small frown and nods. “Yes. We ate earlier. Mum, dad and Anthony have all gone for a walk.”

He shakes his head and turns to the table, gesturing to the other side. “No, but that’s not right. There’s your empty place there.”

She glances back at the table and then back to him, looking at him closely. “Oh, Doctor,” she sighs fondly, “Count the places. It’s not for me. It’s for you.”

“For me?”

She nods and then steps in towards him, reaching out a tentative hand to stroke a finger down his jacket lapel.

“They always lay a place for you. Remember?”

He shakes his head again and looks between River and the empty table place. His throat suddenly feels all dry, like he can’t swallow properly and there’s that small, tiny beacon of hope that’s lit up inside him again, that he doesn’t dare speak out loud but that won’t now go away.

“Just ask me, Doctor,” River says softly, cutting through his thoughts.

He stares at her as she looks up at him, a soft smile playing around her lips. His mouth still feels far too dry but he licks his lips and takes a deep breath.

“When are we, River?” he manages to choke out.

She stays where she is, one hand still idly playing with the buttons of his jacket. “Well, we’ve clearly done Manhattan because-,” she gestures vaguely at his face as he rolls his eyes at her prevaricating, “Then there was a bit of time apart, which I think was rather longer for you than me but-“

“River,” he growls, glaring at her as she raises her eyebrows innocently.

She moves in even closer to him, her lips now only inches from his. “Oh yes, well we did then have that rather wonderful twenty-four years together. How could I forget?”

His breath hitches. She’s done Darillium. Which must mean she’s either just before the Library or…

She pauses briefly, looking up at him and it’s so still he thinks he can hear his own hearts beating. “And then I had to spend rather too much time for my liking in a computer hard-drive before-“

She doesn’t get the chance to finish that sentence as he cuts her off. He cups her face in his hands and kisses her hard. Her mouth opens eagerly under his and she tastes exactly as he remembers. She’s here, she’s real, she’s in his arms and somehow she has escaped the Library. In his haze of happiness, he finally manages to tear his lips away from hers.

“How?” he rasps, his thumbs stroking over her cheeks reverently as she smiles up at him.

River simply shakes her head and presses herself closer to him. She leans in and before she kisses him again, she whispers what must be his new favourite iteration of this word.

“Spoilers!”

[fleetingpieces]

Finding you

This was supposed to be a short drabble with some angst and lots of fluff, but ended up being a long one shot with lots of angst. Oops.

Trigger warning: violence, slurs and abuse. Please look after yourself :) Fuck.

Remus froze by the door, the keys still dangling in his hand. The sight in front of him was one that never promised anything good; the smell of smoke and beer was strong, making the air in the room feel heavy and loaded. He could already feel the cold sweat at the back of his neck. He considered opening the door again and just leaving the house, but then one of the men sitting in the living room glanced up, and his eyes landed right on Remus, smirking, making Remus’ muscles lock in disgust.

Remus knew the two men all too well. He knew their names, but never thought of them if he could avoid it; they brought too many bad memories. The dark-haired one -who was still looking at Remus- was the worst; the one with dirty blond curls was just a stupid pawn. Both of them were sprawled on the couch, talking loudly as if they were in their own house, their dirty boots propped on the coffee table that Remus had cleaned that very morning.

Their visits were becoming more and more frequent, and Remus didn’t miss how they always coincided with Lyall’s worst episodes. He was pretty sure they actually encouraged them for their own amusement.

His sorry excuse of a father followed his friend’s gaze then, finally noticing Remus still standing by the front door. Remus gulped as Lyall’s bleary eyes became darker.

“Where the fuck were you?”

“At work.” He tried to come out strong, but the sound of the keys clinking in his trembling hand betrayed his attempt.

Lyall stood up and took a couple of wobbly steps closer to Remus, bracing a hand on the shelf on the wall to support himself. Behind him, the man with raven black hair looked Remus up and down slowly, licking his lips. Remus felt dirty being watched like that.

“I told you I was having people over. I ordered you to come back to make dinner for us,” said Lyall, glaring at him. Remus felt his blood boil.

“Well someone has to bring money to pay the bills, since you are too busy being a lazy ass drunkard.”

He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips, it was not smart of him to talk like that right now. But he was just overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all.

“Don’t talk to me like that, you fucking brat!” Lyall yelled, swinging his arm violently over the shelf he’d been holding, and throwing everything on top of it to the floor.

Remus watched horrified as the silver frame that had his mother’s picture fell through the air, arching as if in slow motion. It landed viciously on the hardwood floor. When he heard the loud crack it made, Remus felt his heart shattering as well.

The sound sprang him into motion for the first time since stepping into this godforsaken house. He rushed over, kneeling on the floor next to the small shards scattered all over the floor. One of them dug itself into his knee, but Remus barely even noticed it. He was looking at the frame, the glass had cracked into a million pieces, forming sharp spiderwebs that spreaded over Hope’s smiling face.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Remus yelled, holding it close to his chest with both arms, protecting it like his life depended on it. Maybe it did.

He was using all of his strength to fight the tears; he would not cry in front of these men. Standing up slowly, he glared at Lyall. Remus could have sworn that he saw regret in his eyes for a moment, but it was gone the minute Remus spoke again.

“You disgust me,” he spat.

Lyall’s eyes glinted, and if Remus hadn’t been holding his mother’s picture he would have raised his arms to protect his head. As it was though, Lyall’s fist connected with his jaw, making his head snap to the side painfully. He’d punched him with the full strength of a drunken adult, which made Remus see stars dancing in his vision and stumble back, while the two guys behind them cackled loudly.

A few tears escaped Remus’ eyes then, both from the pain in his face and the even greater one in his chest. He could still remember a time when the man in front of him was actually his father. A time when they would laugh together, and Lyall would teach him to play ball. But that had all been when Hope was still in their lives. Lyall had not been the same after the accident, and in consequence, Remus had lost both of his parents the day Hope’d died.

Cold fear crept up Remus’ spine as he stared at the rage seeping out of Lyall’s eyes. He knew where this was going, how everything would turn out if he didn’t do something; and he was pretty sure that he didn’t have any more antiseptics or gauzes hidden in his room, he’d used them all the last time.

He took a careful step back.

“Where do you think you are going?”

Remus didn’t stay to give an answer, he turned around and bolted to his room. Lyall was too drunk to catch him, but Remus could hear the clumsy steps and the string of curses following behind him. As soon as he had one foot inside his bedroom, he slammed the door shut, throwing the lock on.

He took a couple of steps back, not daring to take his eyes off the door, but he still flinched when Lyall started pounding on it.

“Open the fucking door!”

His back bumped into the opposite wall, and he leaned his weight against it. He was shaking way too much to stand on his own.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

What should he do? There was no way he could open that door, but Lyall was pummeling it so hard that the hinges were groaning. Remus glanced around frantically, and his eyes landed on his dresser. Pushing himself off the wall, he rushed over and shoved it in front of the door, panting with the effort.

There was a pause in the rapping, leaving behind a silence that felt heavy on Remus' shoulders. His breathing was coming in short and painful bursts; the air around him didn’t seem enough to fill his lungs. He needed to calm down, but he also needed to get the fuck out of there, he didn’t believe for a second that Lyall had simply decided to let it go.

Remus took out his phone and called the only person that was on his mind at that moment. Luckily, the line rang only two times.

“Hello?”

“Sirius..”

“Re? Hey, what’s up?”

Remus took a shaky breath in, willing his voice to be steady, but he could only manage a hoarse whisper.

“Can you come pick me up?”

“Right now? I can’t, my bike broke down yesterday, remember? I didn’t have time to get it fixed yet.”

Remus did remember. James, Sirius and Remus had gone to an old dirt road that Sirius loved to go to because it meant he could use his bike at top speed and pretend he was in a Motocross race. But Sirius had also tried to teach James how to ride it, which had clearly been a terrible mistake. James had somehow managed to crash into a tree going 20 km an hour; and even though he hadn’t been injured, the handlebar had broken. Sirius had almost cried when he saw the state of his motorbike, and Remus had been teasing both him and James since.

“James’ parents took the car too, but I could take a bus to your house,” Sirius suggested, saying it as a question, but Remus shook his head even if Sirius couldn’t see him. He knew it would be too late then.

“No, no. It’s ok. Don’t worry, everything’s fine.”

His voice broke at the end, and Remus had to clamp a hand over his mouth to reign in a sob.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked immediately. The worry in his voice was evident, but Remus’ throat had closed up, he couldn’t reply. “Re? Remus, what’s going on?”

The pounding on the door started again, making Remus jump while he scrambled to hang up. He didn’t want Sirius listening to this.

“REMUS! I swear I will knock this fucking door down!”

Remus didn’t doubt that he meant it. He had to get out.

Grabbing a bag from his wardrobe, Remus hastily filled it with essentials, starting with the picture frame he was still holding against his chest. He wrapped it up in a t-shirt to protect the rest of his stuff from the broken glass, there was not time to get rid of it now.

All the while, the curses and fists against the door didn’t stop; Remus could tell that the other two men had joined in to try and get into his room. Right then, he was so fucking thankful for that old, heavy dresser.

The wood sounded like it was cracking when Remus had finally gathered everything he needed and threw the window open. Trying not to think about the distance to the ground, he swung both legs over the windowsill and jumped as quietly as he could.

Remus rolled on the floor a few times, a sharp pain shooting through his knee. He’d completely forgotten about the shard of glass that had undoubtedly buried itself deeper just now, but that was the least of his worries at the moment. He had to go before they noticed he was gone. He didn’t think they would go after him, but he couldn’t take any chances.

Greeting his teeth, Remus ran down the street until he turned the corner; then he slowed down a bit until he was walking at a fast pace, mentally preparing himself for the 45 minute walk to James’ house. The fresh night air felt like a blessing against his face as he tried to calm his nerves, but Remus knew he wouldn’t feel completely safe until he was at his friend’s house.

He was about halfway there when his phone rang.

“Remus!”

“James?”

“Rem, what the hell is going on? Sirius has been walking around the house like a maniac, babbling nonsense about you acting weird, and needing our help…”

“It’s fine James, don’t worry. I’m actually on my w-” Remus tried to explain, but James kept talking at full speed.

“...and then Mum and Dad came back and Sirius just stole the car keys and ran out, yelling for me to call you and tell you that-”

“Wait, what?” Remus yelled, stopping abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Yeah, he just said he was going to get you. He looked pretty worried when he left, but he didn’t explain anything.”

“No. No no no no no.”

Remus panicked. If Sirius went to his house, where Lyall and his friends were surely mad that Remus had ran away… He shuddered to think what they would do. And Sirius absolutely lacked common sense and self preservation, he was too reckless.

“Remus? Remus please, talk to me.”

“I need to call him. He can’t go there, I need to-”

“I tried, but the prat left his phone. He just ran off as soon as my parents came in.”

Remus felt as if his world was starting to collapse. He couldn’t stand the idea of Sirius getting hurt because of him. He couldn’t stand the idea of Sirius getting hurt, period. He looked around frantically, as if he would find something that could help him in the deserted street.

“How long ago did he leave?” he asked James. He could hear the desperation in his own voice, and the confusion in James’.

“Just a few minutes, but-”

Remus hung up. He turned around and sprinted as fast as he could, back to the hell house. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he couldn’t stop to explain everything to James. The only thing on his mind was Sirius.

Images of everything that Remus had been going through at home came rushing in, but with Sirius’ face instead of his, bloody and broken. The mere mental image caused him so much pain and rage, it was unbearable.

Sirius was the most important person in his life, the thought of losing him scared the shit out of Remus. He was like the sunshine in Remus’ longest night. He’d picked up Remus’ pieces when his Mum’s death had torn him apart, and stayed by his side when Lyall started spiralling down. He always knew where to find Remus and how to bring him into the light.

Remus had never told any of his friends what was going on at home, he couldn’t stand the idea of them looking at him with pity, knowing he was a coward that couldn’t stand up for himself. Especially not Sirius. Sirius who was all courage, smiles and warm feelings.

Feelings, Remus groaned internally.

He’d been trying to get rid of his feelings for Sirius for months now, but they only seemed to be getting stronger. Remus had been terrified when he’d realized he was in love with his best friend, he’d had no idea what to do. He still didn’t. Telling his friends that he was gay would have been a good start, but after Hope had passed Remus had lost the nerve to do it. He couldn’t tell Sirius, he couldn’t risk losing him.

His lungs were burning by the time he reached his house, but the sight of the Potter’s car parked hastily with the front wheel on top of the curb gave him a boost of energy.

The front door was open, the yelling reaching Remus’ ears and sending another pang of fear through him.

“Where’s Remus?!”

As Remus stepped in, what he saw inside froze him in place for a moment, just like a mere hour earlier. But the sight in front of him right now was scarier in a very different way.

The man with the dirty blond hair was sprawled on the floor, unconscious. The other man was just standing there, cracking his knuckles and laughing perversely at the two men standing in the middle of the room. Lyall seemed to be out of it, a beer bottle clutched in his hand and his eyes full of hate.

And Sirius.

Sirius was shorter than Lyall, but he was standing just a few inches from him nonetheless, yelling in his face. His hair was in a messy bun, strands falling in his face, and Remus gasped when he saw the split lip, blood trickling down Sirius’ chin. Even in this shitty situation and with everything going on around him, Remus thought that he was beautiful.

Then he cursed himself, focusing again.

“Sirius!”

The three men went quiet as they turned around, the tension in the room shifting on its edge to land on Remus, almost crushing him. He could feel their gazes and everything they carried, the hate, the anger, the lasciviousness. Remus blocked all of those, focusing solely on Sirius, making sure he was ok.

Remus was not ready for Sirius’ reaction when the boy took a good look at him though. Remus could only imagine what he looked like: sweaty, with blood on his jeans and maybe a swollen face. He watched as Sirius’ scowl got deeper and he spun around, shoving Lyall hard.

“What the fuck did you do to him?!”

Lyall staggered back but managed to stay up.

“It has nothing to do with you!”

Remus, who was already used to it, saw it coming before Sirius did. As Lyall threw his arm back, Remus’ feet moved on their own, and before he realized it he was standing between the two of them, looking right at Lyall’s surprised eyes as his fist connected with the side of Remus’ head.

The force of the impact threw him back, making him fall into Sirius’ arms. The warmth of the other boy’s hands against his sides seeped through his clothes, warming him up to the very core, and Remus glanced up. There was so much concern in Sirius’ eyes that it disarmed him; he was lost in the stormy grey, forgetting about everything else for a second. Remus desperately wanted to place a hand on Sirius’ cheek to reassure him, or maybe kiss his lip better…

“I know what you are!” Lyall’s screaming brought Remus back to the cold, hard reality. “You try to hide it, but everyone knows you’re a damned faggot! It’s your own fault if you got hit, protecting your nancy boyfriend like that!”

Remus paled, his thoughts turning cold as he felt Sirius’ whole body tense up behind him.

No. Please, no. Not now.

“He’s not my boyfriend, leave him out of this,” Remus said, trying to sound calm, but his voice was shaking. What was Sirius thinking? Remus didn’t have the courage to turn around and see, so he stepped out of his grasp instead.

The dark-haired man started laughing loudly then. Remus had almost forgotten he was even there, but his head snapped to him when he felt an icy hand close around his wrist, tugging him forward harshly.

“So it’s true? I’ve been wondering for a while, you know; thought I could teach you a thing or two,” Rick said, lust filling his voice. No, no, don’t think about his name. It doesn’t matter, he’s inconsequential, Remus tried telling himself.

The man pulled him closer, pressing his body against Remus’ back, inhaling the scent from his hair. One of the hands was still holding his wrist with bruising strength, but when the other slipped under his t-shirt, Remus felt paralyzed.

“What are you doing?” Lyall asked. He looked slightly less drunk now, but was stunned in place, his eyes wide. Remus looked up at him pleadingly.

“Nothing, we are just having some fun, right boy?” the man said in a mocking tone.

Lyall didn’t move and Remus wanted to scream at him to do something. Hell, he was screaming at his own body to do something, but the connection between his brain and his extremities was numb, like the rest of him.

“Let go of him,” a quiet voice said. Remus fixed his eyes on the source of it, and was met with pure, concentrated rage. He’d never seen such fury in Sirius’ eyes, and even the dark-haired man took a step back.

“You’ll stay out of it if you know what’s good for you, kid. Unless you want to take his place?”

The words hung in the air as they made their way into Remus’ brain, and once they sunk in, everything in Remus’ vision turned red. He was not going to let that asshole touch so much as a hair on Sirius's head. He brought his elbow up, digging it deep into the man’s stomach, who doubled over. Sirius rushed forward then and pushed the man with his shoulder, making him stumble backwards and crash into the small table.

Not wasting any time, Sirius grabbed Remus by the hand and tugged him gently but hurriedly to the door, making a quick exit before the man could recover. He only stopped for a second next to the still stunned form of Lyall, looking at him with revulsion.

“Hope would be ashamed of you,” he spat with a venomous glare. As Sirius dragged him outside, Remus looked back and was pretty sure he could see Lyall’s face crumble before he covered it with his hands.

Sirius didn’t stop until they were next to the car. He opened the passenger door for Remus and carefully helped him climb in, even buckling the seatbelt for him. Remus let his friend handle him; he felt like his mind was miles away, the events of the night had not settled in yet, but they were approaching him like an oncoming train.

They rode in silence. Sirius was gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white, and he kept stealing glances at Remus, but none of them said a word.

James, who'd been pacing by the front door, rushed down the steps when he saw them approaching through the long driveway to the estate. They weren't even completely out of the car before James threw his arms around Remus' neck.

"Oh god, oh thank fucking god. Are you guys ok?" 

He examined Remus' appearance, scowling at what he saw. When Sirius joined them near the entrance, Remus tried his best not to look him in the eye, which made James glance between the two of them, confused.

"My mum is going crazy. She's going to bombard you with questions as soon as you step in," he said, trying to get a grasp on the situation himself.

Remus shook his head quickly.

"Please, I don't want to talk about it. Not right now," he whispered.

James was about to argue, but a look from Sirius shut him up, so he nodded instead.

"Ok. Ok, I'll go talk to them," he said, and without any warning, he lunged forward again, hugging Remus tightly. "I'm so glad you're ok. You scared the living daylights out of me." 

It took Remus two seconds to figure out how to move his body again so he could hug James back just as tight. What had he done to deserve friends like this?

James squeezed him one last time before turning around and going into the house, leaving Remus and Sirius alone. Silence fell, broken only by the chirping of the crickets in the big garden that surrounded the house from all sides, and the faint sound of the sea a few miles away. 

When Sirius extended a hand towards him, Remus couldn't help but flinch back. He felt bad instantly as he finally looked up at Sirius, surprised by his own reaction, and saw how Sirius stopped his hand mid-air with a pained expression on his face.

Remus wanted to explain, but what could he say? That even though his brain felt muddled, he couldn’t stop thinking about every time Lyall and his friends had beaten him up?

He didn’t need to say anything though, ‘cause Sirius’ face softened like he understood exactly what Remus was thinking. Not taking his eyes away from Remus’, Sirius extended his hand again, deliberately slow, and held it between them as an offering. He was giving Remus a choice. He didn’t move a muscle until Remus tentatively laced their fingers together, and then Sirius smiled softly, tugging at his hand gently to lead him inside.

Sirius led him up to the first floor, ignoring the hushed voices coming from the kitchen, which Remus was grateful for. He didn’t have the strength to face Mrs and Mr Potter right now.

He didn’t realize Sirius was not taking him to the guest room until he dragged Remus into his own bedroom, closing the door behind them.

As Sirius finally let go of his hand to drop Remus’ bag on the bed, and Remus realized that he was actually there, that he was safe, the numbness in his body receded and the weight of everything crashed into him, as if the train had finally run him over. The events of the night, the months of abuse, the fact that Sirius of all people had seen it, that Sirius knew. Oh God, Sirius knew the truth, he knew everything! 

It was impossible for Remus to keep himself together any longer.

He slumped on the floor with his back against the bed, hugging his legs. When it became obvious that he would not be able to reign in the tears, he buried his face in his knees, as the sobs quietly shook him. He was sure Sirius would hate him now, and there was no way that Remus could recover from that.

Just a little longer, he thought, for only a few minutes more he wanted to pretend like none of this had happened and that he could have his friends for a bit more. That he could survive this. He hugged himself tighter, trying to keep his pieces together.

“Remus.”

Remus tensed up, but didn’t move. Not yet, please, not yet. I’m not ready.

Warm hands rested lightly on his wrists, kindly prying his arms apart to undo his curled up position.

“Re, look at me,” Sirius whispered.

Reluctantly, Remus slowly raised his head. 

“How long has this been going on?” he asked in a quiet but steely voice. Remus wasn’t sure anymore if the anger was directed at him or not, he had never seen Sirius like this. He turned his head to the side, letting his gaze fall on the floor.

“A while,” he replied quietly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sirius almost yelled, and the pain in his voice startled Remus into looking at him again.

“I..I didn’t want you to pity me. I didn’t want you to see that side of me,” he said with furrowed eyebrows.

“Remus I’m your best friend! I would have helped you!”

“And what could you have done, Sirius? I have nowhere to go!” Remus replied in the same heated tone. Anxiety gripped him again as he understood that he eventually would have to go back there, to that nightmare. Standing up, he started pacing up and down the room, the movement keeping him sane and functioning. “He’s gonna kill me when I go back,” Remus muttered more to himself than anything else.

“You are not going back there,” Sirius said in a hard voice, standing up as well. Remus stopped his pacing to huff a humorless laugh, staring at his feet.

“It’s not like I have a choice, Sirius. At some point, I’m gonna have to-”

“No. I don’t give a flying fuck about what you think you have to do. You are not going back to that house. And if you think Effie or any of us will let you anywhere near that man, then you are sorely mistaken. You’ll be staying here with us.”

Remus knew Mrs Potter cared for him and treated him just like she did Sirius, but there was no way he could impose on her like that. He didn’t feel like arguing about that now though, so he just stayed quiet. Both of them stood there, breathing heavily, Sirius with clenched fists and not taking his eyes off of him, while Remus wrung his hands nervously, still gazing at his feet.

It was a few long minutes before Sirius broke the silence again.

“Is it true?”

Remus knew instantly what Sirius was talking about, but he thought if he pretended not to hear, perhaps Sirius would drop it. He bit his lip, completely missing the way Sirius looked down at his mouth before going back up.

“What that prick said...is it true?” Sirius pressed.

When he didn’t answer again, the sound of steps filled the room before long fingers slipped under Remus’ chin with a care that he had never received before, lifting his head up until gold eyes were locked with silver ones.

Sirius searched his eyes, looking into his very soul, waiting for Remus to say something. Remus knew there was no point avoiding it, Sirius knew him far too well, and it was nearly impossible for Remus to deny him anything when he was staring at him with such an expectant look. He was so stupid when it came to Sirius.

“Yes,” Remus finally replied in a tiny whisper. Sirius’ fingers tensed the slightest bit, which threw Remus into a fit of nervous verbiage. Swallowing over the lump in his throat, he kept talking fast, “I understand if you feel uncomfortable or d-disgusted with me. Take your time, I...I just-”

“Remus, just shut up,” the tenderness in Sirius’ voice contrasted so much with his harsh words, that it left Remus feeling confused. With the rough fingertips still burning under his chin, Remus tilted his head to the side, trying to understand, but he couldn’t figure out the emotion swimming behind the molten silver of Sirius’ eyes.

Sirius hesitated, but then his hand slowly brushed Remus’ face, going up his jaw, until it was cupping his cheek.

“For a smart guy, you can be pretty clueless, you know?” Sirius said with a half smile.

“I...I’m not sure I follow,” Remus said with slightly wide eyes.

Sirius laughed quietly, shaking his head with fondness. He bent down to press their foreheads together, and Remus felt his breath hitch in his throat.

“How could I ever feel disgusted by you? Are you really that blind?”

Remus pulled away an inch with raised eyebrows. He was a bit dense regarding people’s feelings towards him, he knew that much as he always assumed the worst, but the way Sirius was acting...

“You...Are you saying that..?” Remus left the question unfinished; he wasn’t sure about anything anymore. Sirius was giving him a small, shy smile. Sirius Black, shy. Remus thought for sure that he must have been imagining things.

Brushing one of Remus’ curls behind his ear, Sirius struggled for a bit to find the words.

“Re, for the longest time I’ve been holding back. I...I wanted to tell you how I felt, but you were going through so much with your Mum, I just felt like I would be taking advantage when you weren’t doing so great. I didn’t want to add any more pressure into your life, I wanted to wait for the perfect time.”

He laughed bitterly.

“I know I’m not doing much better right now, but I just...I can’t let you sit there thinking that I would hate you for this Re, I...I fucking love you.”

Remus was speechless. All this time, he’d thought he was just a fool for falling for Sirius, for allowing himself to be so close to him when it hurt knowing he could never have him. Remus glanced down when he felt cool fingers lacing themselves with his, and then up to the boy in front of him.

There was so much love pouring out of Sirius that Remus thought he must have definitely been blind not to notice before.

Sirius stared into his eyes, silently asking a question. Remus nodded minutely, and not even a second later he felt soft lips brushing against his, slow and deep.

Remus' hands tangled into soft black locks, shivering at the idea that he was finally allowed to do it after spending so long wishing for it. Sirius’ own set to explore Remus’ body with a hunger that spoke volumes of Sirius’ restraint, caressing Remus back before settling on his hips.

When they broke apart, their breathing agitated, Remus hid his face in the crook of Sirius’ neck, dizzy with the feelings rushing through his body.

“Thank you for coming for me,” he mumbled against Sirius’ skin, eliciting a shiver from the other boy.

Sirius smiled softly, dropping kisses to Remus’ hair and temple. He slid his hands to the small of his back, bringing Remus closer to his chest.

“I will always find you, Moons.”

[highly-opinionated-ramblings]

There’s something wrong with my eye,” Simmons announces loudly.

No one answers him.

“I said, there’s something wrong with my eye!” he repeats, louder this time.

“So?!” Grif hollers back from down the hall. “What the fuck do you want me to do about it?!” 

“I want you to get in here and offer to do something about it!”

“What exactly do you expect me to be able to do about it?” Grif asks, appearing in Simmon’s doorway, looking disgruntled. He’s holding a well-worn comic book in one hand, one finger stuck between the pages to mark his place. “Do I look like a fucking medic to you?”

“My <em>mechanical</em> eye, doofus,” Simmons says flatly. Comics are the only thing he ever willingly reads. Simmons always tries to make sure they have enough left over in their monthly budget to get the latest issues shipped to their base.

“How does that make any difference?” Grif demands. “Go ask Sarge for help. Or Lopez.”

“They’re not here, though, and you are.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I don’t want to get up. I don’t know if my legs will work right.”

“Wait, what?”

“Last time I had a glitch it made my knee-jerk reaction go off spontaneously and I accidentally kicked Sarge in the-”

“I don’t wanna know! Look, are you sure we shouldn’t just fetch Lopez?”

“I think it’s probably just a screw loose,” Simmons says, offhand. Easy fix. “Messing up the wiring in my brain.”

“Why is your eye wired into your brain?”

“Everything is wired into my brain, dummy. It wouldn’t work otherwise. 

“That seems like really bad planning.”

“Your eyes are wired into your brain, too.”

“Mine are organic! You lose one screw and it messes up everything!”

“Grif, you’re so useless! Are you going to help me or not?”

“Alright! Jeez, what’s eating you today?”

“Oops, sorry. The glitch is making it hard to control what’s coming out of my mouth. I just keep uncontrollably blurting out everything I’m thinking.”

“That’s what you do every day. Are you sure that’s part of it?”

“Shut up! I find this situation very frustrating and inconvenient. I wish you would hurry up and screw my missing piece back in.”

“Maybe you should say that last bit a bit louder, I don’t think Tucker heard you that time.”

“Grif, sometimes I sincerely do not like you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take your helmet off, then, let me get a look at this.”

Simmons reaches up and carefully removes his helmet, as instructed. Grif reaches over and carefully lays his comic down on Simmons’ desk before moving closer.

“Oh, I see it now. It’s this one right here, barely hanging in there by a thread. Dude, I think this whole, uh, face-plate thing is hanging crooked on here.”

“Well, fix it!”

“Alright already! Where’s a screwdriver?”

“In that drawer.”

Grif pulls off his own helmet and sets it aside, pulling open the indicated drawer and rummaging through the clutter inside.

“Is this the right one?”

“No, you need the purple one.”

“This one is purple!”

“No, it’s not, it’s blue!”

“Is this malfunction making you colorblind, too? It’s fucking purple! Look, here, give me the screw. See? This is the right size!”

Grif brandishes the screwdriver in front of him, for emphasis. Simmons stares at it for a moment.

“Grif I think the malfunction is messing with my color vision too.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Grif leans in and reaches out to adjust the metal plating on Simmons’ face back into place. Simmons blinks, hard, and suddenly the handle of the screwdriver looks a little bit more purple.

“Is this going to, like...hurt you?” Grif asks, pausing with the screwdriver in his hand.

“No,” Simmons assures him. The screw itself is only about half an inch long. Not nearly long enough to poke through far enough to do any damage.

“Alright then, hang tight.”

Grif lines the screw up and starts fumbling with it, frowning.

“It doesn’t want to go back in...”

“You have to hold it straight.”

“I’m trying! It’s at a weird angle. Stop turning your head.”

“Wow, your hands are like...really warm. That’s weird. Or maybe my face is just cold? Is my face cold?”

“Shut up,” Grif grumbles, “you’re distracting me.”

“Sorry. I’m just feeling a little, uhhhh, vulnerable. And nervous.”

“Stop fidgeting.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m just not really comfortable with the idea of you being so close to me?”

“Hey, I offered to go get Lopez, and you said no.”

“Oh, it’s not because I don’t think you’re capable-”

“I said stop fidgeting!”

“-it’s because I find you very attractive.”

“Wait, what?!”

“What?!”

“Oh my god, Simmons, get a fucking grip!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Sit still, you’re gonna make me drop the screw again-”

“I didn’t mean to say that!”

“For the love of fucking- sit down!”

Grif takes one hand away from Simmons’ face and grabs him tightly by the shoulder. Simmons makes an especially undignified high-pitched sound of distress, and freezes in place.

“You’re a dumbass, and I hate you,” Grif growls. 

“I’m really sorry. I never told you that because I thought it would be awkward aaaaaaaand it turns out I was right. I’m sorry.”

“For the last time, sit fucking still.”

“I didn’t want to make things weird, especially since we’ve been living together since, well, basically forever now.”

“Shut up.”

“But the truth is, I know you really just don’t like to shave, because you’re lazy, but I think it’s nice how you always have some kind of stubble situation going o-”

“Simmons, for the love of god, if you’ve got to talk, go back to talking about something that’s not me!”

“I can’t control it!”

“I’m fixing your damn screw as fast as I can, but if you say one more thing about me I’m leaving right now!”

“I think Doc is attractive, too?” Simmons confesses, in a desperate attempt to steer his ridiculous and increasingly-panicky word-vomit trainwreck in another direction.

“You have terrible taste in men.”

“And Locus.”

“Alright, well, that one’s a given. Everyone thinks Locus is attractive.”

“Yeeeeaaaaahhhh. I overheard your sister and Wash talking about him once, and I was glad it wasn’t just me.”

“I think I’ve almost got this- there! How does that feel?”

“Uh…” 

Simmons flexes the human muscles in his face, tensing up against the edge of the metal plating. It seems to be fitting more normally. He can still feel himself blushing, but he hasn’t blurted out any other embarrassing secrets in the past three seconds, and the screwdriver in Grif’s hand is most definitely purple once again.

“I think that did it!”

“Really? You sure you don’t have any other stupid shit to say? Like how you’ve always secretly wanted Sarge to step on you, or anything like that?”

“No! Dude, that’s gross!”

“So was all that other stuff you just said! Seriously, I’m embarrassed for you right now.”

“Grif, look, forget I said any of that, ok? Please? Just...forget it.”

“I’d like nothing better. Believe me.”

“Sorry,” Simmons mutters as Grif angrily jams his helmet back onto his head and recollects his comic book.

“Whatever. Just don’t call me to fix any more of your malfunctions in the future, ok?”

“Yeah. I just...sorry.”

Grif hesitates on his way out the door, as if there’s something more he wants to say.

But in the end, he just snaps, “you really do have terrible taste in men. You should get out more, or something,” and stalks off back down the hall.

“Yeah,” Simmons sighs to the empty room. “Maybe I should.”

[nobodysodontquestionit]

The hand is holding the bow wrong oop, but I’m too lazy to fix it :)

[giantroboticplatypusbutt218]

I finished watching Loonatics Unleashed and I have Some Thoughts. I guess this is like a part 2 to the other post I made about the show so yeah.

I swear I don’t intend for everything I write to be an essay but whatever. It’s all under the cut. No massive story spoilers, but I will talk about episodes and will warn accordingly. (But who actually cares about being spoiled on the plot of Loonatics Unleashed?)

Alright so I finally figured out why Ace has laser vision. ...It’s kinda dumb but it’s because rabbits eat carrots(in cartoons). It’s... a reason at least. Still kinda sucks that it’s his only power when everyone else got 2 and some change. Kickass swords don’t count, even if they are magic. Seriously; Transformation. Duplication. Imitation. Tons of other “ation”s. They could’ve leaned into his trickster side but no. He eats carrots... so he got laser vision. Also he only ate carrots like three times in the show so wtf...

Okay so the pacing... improved somewhat in season 2. Don’t get me wrong there were still problems in some episodes but at least they learned how to build the stakes until the climax. They still sometimes went from zero to eighty after the opening credits, but at least it wasn’t zero to a hundred. Much less whiplash was had is what I’m saying. 

I don’t think I really mentioned the villains before but they’re uh... generally not very good. They’ve got cool gimmicks but most of the time they’re just two stereotypes and a cliche in a trench coat. Season 2 brought back classic anthro characters to be villains a few times, and while they still weren’t well written and just referenced old bits half the time... at least they weren’t dehumanized humans. 

I also don’t think I mentioned the animation so... it’s fine. It’s got cut corners but all cartoons do. Sometimes fight scenes look cool, sometimes they’re stiff. Sometimes the slapstick is well timed, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes the facial expressions match the voice acting, sometimes they don’t. Speaking of voice acting, it’s good. There’s not really anything stand out to perform in the first place but everyone does a good job with what they have. 

Okay random note before getting deeper into things... the intro themes were... not good. I swear the first song ended on a note that it wasn’t supposed to. The second song fixed that but added people announcing the characters which... is just worse to me. Not much else to say because I skipped them after the first few times. 

(Very mild spoilers for the general plots of episodes past this point.)

Ace and Lexi improved a little in the second season, but I still find them kinda bland. Ace still just feels like zero calorie Bugs Bunny. His wit is confined to being the leader, snarky comebacks, and some decent sleuthing skills... and that’s really it. He doesn’t really play around with the villains the way Bugs would. Ace was also supposed to have an arc learning to use his magic sword which... didn’t really happen. Lexi’s defining trait outside of her powers is still that she’s “the girl” which... sucks... Uh... she upgraded to Gamer Girl in the second season which while neat, amounted to nothing outside that one episode. At the very least she was never kidnapped for more than 5 seconds?(That “honor” goes to Zadavia) They also never really brought up their backstories in a meaningful way again, which sucks. 

I still like the rest of the team. Slam got an episode about wrestling that built on his backstory and was fun to watch. Duck discovered that his egg powers work differently in water which was neat and matched him being a waterfowl.(Lexi’s powers work differently in water too but it’s never brought up again). Rev is still Rev and I still love him. He got an episode about his family and struggle to impress them(specifically his parents) despite his career choice which was also neat, but I will be coming back to this episode later. Tech is also still Tech and I also still love him. But uh, every character and also me wanted to see him get out of the lab more, and then he got like a nibble of an episode to get out of the lab, and then the show was over. Oof.

Speaking of Tech, it might be for the best he hardly ever left the lab because his powers are... possibly way too effective against all the robots and machines the team fights. Now, him being “overpowered” could’ve been used as a fun writing challenge. Robot goons aren’t a good option for villains anymore. Fighting against him in a city filled with metal is harder. Villains can’t rely on simply killing him thanks to his regeneration. Fight scenes including Tech would have to be handled in a fun and interesting way. But... no. In a team with two tech guys, the one with super speed and flight comes with while the one who can control metal and literally can’t die stays behind. Oh well. Doubt they could’ve added him into more fights without accidentally dumbing him down anyway. 

Oh crap I forgot to talk about Zadavia! Uh... she exists. She’s the team’s boss who sends them out on missions. Uh... I can’t talk too much about her without spoiling what little overarching plot this show has, but just know that she’s neat, but affected by the usual sexism going on in the show’s writing.

(Character and episode spoilers past this point.)

You know, for being The Loonatics the main cast wasn’t very loony. You know who were though? Basically all the villains. Yeah I don’t wanna go there but oops here I go anyway. It’s pretty messed up that all the main characters’ zany traits were dialed down, while the defining feature of practically every villain (besides their stereotypes)is that they’re insane. I mean, if you’re looking for good mental illness rep in The Looney Tunes you’re gonna be disappointed, but at least in the shorts almost every character was a little unhinged and a bit of an asshole, making none of them stand out for those traits specifically. 

Also messed up is that a lot of the villains are disfigured and made fun of for it by the main cast. Hot take of the century, but I think making fun of people for having a big head or only one eye is... bad. Oh and if they’re a woman then they’re also judged on how hot they are. Actually all women in the show are subjected to sexist writing. I remember like one episode where women were treated with a sliver of respect for a split second and that was in the obligatory “the cast comes across an island of amazon women” episode. However since most of the time was spent painting them as villains until the “actually sexism is bad” ending, there was hardly a moment of reprieve from the bullshit if a woman was on screen. 

I’m not the best person to speak on this but uh... it’s fucked up that since literally every notable human is a villain, all the people of color are bad guys, right? Like, obviously it’s not as bad as some of the shit the old shorts pulled, but that’s like saying getting punched is not as bad as getting stabbed. It’s true... but I’m sure most people would prefer neither. 

And here’s where I bring up that Rev episode I mentioned earlier. Rev’s parents are racist against coyotes (cartoons sure love to make carnivores allegories for black people don’t they?) and obviously with Tech E. Coyote being his close friend, that causes trouble. ...Right? Uh, no. They say some racist crap to Tech, and that’s it. There is not even an attempt to correct their behavior from anyone. It’s just treated as some unfortunate quirk. In fact the episode’s conflict actually revolves around Rev’s brother, Rip. Honestly, I doubt that they could’ve handled a decent “racism is bad” episode anyway. But they could’ve also... just not brought up racism if they couldn’t handle it? I’m sure having no racism topic at all would be better than having Tech just take the parents’ racist bull crap lying down and then help Rev impress them with an invention he doesn’t get credit for. Also at one point Rev says if Tech wasn’t a coyote and a guy he’d kiss him, which has two uncomfortable implications, but this section is already too long. 

(Spoilers end here.)

Overall... yeah the show’s not very good. Of course it wasn’t. It was always going to be a little garbage. And no not because of the darker style or strange setting or any of that superficial crap. Team dynamic shows are popular and with Teen Titans doing so well WB probably thought they might as well shove out a 2 season Looney Tunes version to grab a little more cash, probably minimizing the budget to squeeze out as much profit as possible. If anyone working on the show was passionate about it, I doubt they had the budget or time to act on most their ideas. 

Still, there were things to like. There are some funny jokes throughout the show, a few of which even managed to come out of Ace’s mouth. Danger Duck was literally just Daffy and he’s always great. Ironically, Rev and Tech were the most fun to listen to, and also to watch interacting in general. Slam didn’t do much but was a sweetheart who deserves success. There managed to be some decently twisty twist villains, if only because Disney ruined my brain with their ceaseless and lazy attempts at them, and I wasn’t looking out for them in this show. And, while almost nothing was properly developed, at least the concepts and characters are fun to think about?

I can’t say I’d recommend this show to everybody, but uh... if you’re a Furry with low standards and too much free time like me, maybe you’ll like it? Just go in with low expectations so when nice things happen you’re decently surprised. 

[astralaffairs]

How do you think Phillip would handle an anxiety attack/depressive episode? As someone with depression, I experience these a lot and having someone there with me is nice

hey honey!! i empathize w u 100% — I've struggled w/ depression for years. that said, i kinda struggled w this, since having ppl with me when i go thru depressive episodes can be difficult for me, so i'm super sorry if this doesn't 100% reflect your experiences!!! as much as ik where you're coming from, i think my own perspective n experiences kinda colored how this turned out (also it got v long n self indulgent oops)

-----

"Hey, princess, you around?" Your eyes widened at the words, echoing down the hall of your apartment from your living room. "Y/N?"

You didn't respond at first, weren't sure what to say. You liked hearing the sound of his voice; it was a comfort in itself, but you also weren't sure whether you wanted him to find you in your room, still in bed in your pajamas, your now-empty bag of Fritos perched on the pillow beside you. You almost regretted giving him a key. You were exhausted — it was no secret for anyone who caught a glance of your half-lidded stare, the bags under your eyes. You were propped up against a pillow at the headboard, but you were still slouched over into your bent knees, curled into yourself.

You could see that he'd flipped the kitchen light on, its furthest reaches flooding the hall toward your bedroom. You wondered whether that'd mask the light coming from your room.

Your phone lit up beside you, but you couldn't see what the message you'd received actually said. It was instead filed under the notification, 'Pip 🥺💞: 7 unread messages.'

You reached over to put your phone on your bedside table, but when you did, your bed creaked loudly. You winced at the noise. Apparently, it also catalyzed the footsteps that'd stalled in your front room to kick back into action, now headed in your direction.

"Baby?" His voice was laced with concern, now. "You back here?"

When he reached your room, he raised an eyebrow, knocked lightly on the doorframe, and you sighed. "Hey, is everything okay? Can I come in?"

You didn't respond immediately, hesitant to speak for fear of him hearing the apathy that you knew had taken root deep in your voice. Eventually, after a long moment of apprehensive silence, you said, "Yeah. Yeah, of course you can."

How quiet, tired your words sounded only heightened the worry in his knit brow. His actions were tentative as he approached you. Your body was tense as he took a seat at the foot of your bed. "What're you doing in bed? It's almost 6 PM."

"What, I'm not allowed to be in bed in my own apartment?" Your voice was unnecessarily combative, and his eyebrows shot up at the sudden hostility.

"I didn't say that. Of course you are," he replied, and how gentle his tone was had you immediately struck with a pang of guilt. "But your laptop's off, and I know you've been silencing your phone. I just mean... genuinely, what have you been doing in here?"

You shrugged halfheartedly, not meeting his eyes. "I dunno. It's my day off; I don't have to be productive all the time, Philip." Again, when you spoke, it was accusatory, and Philip pursed his lips.

"Did I do something? Are you angry with me?"

Being branded as 'angry' usually would've multiplied your frustration tenfold — no, you weren't angry, but he'd showed up at your apartment unannounced and proceeded to question your lazy evening in; didn't you at least have a right to be annoyed? — but his searching gaze looked so troubled when it met yours that you couldn't bring yourself to be. Ultimately, you shook your head.

"No, you didn't. I just..." When you trailed off, you'd intended to finish the sentence, but you realized you didn't have a decent explanation to offer him. He sighed.

"Something's wrong. Talk to me; c'mon." You didn't say anything, and he scooted across your mattress to sit beside you, discarding your empty, crinkled snack bag to the floor. "Y/N?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," you murmured, and though you offered him a tired smile, he frowned.

"Hey, no you're not." When he reached for your hand, you flinched, more due to instinct born of the tension in your bloodstream than to any real intention. Nonetheless, it took him aback. He was about to pull away, but when you relaxed, he laced his fingers tentatively into yours. You didn't rebuke him. "Y'know I'm here for you, right?"

The smile you managed to contrive at that was, in your opinion, more convincing than your previous one. "I know, baby. I love you. But really, I'm doing alright. I've just been tired today; I wanted to come take a nap. Sorry if I'm being grumpy."

You thought your words would've assuaged his concerns; they had with everyone who'd heard them before. However, Philip let out a heavy breath, shaking his head. "Please, don't bullshit me. I know you too well for that."

Your light laugh in response felt like an adequate supplement, and you squeezed his hand. "Relax. I'm not bullshitting, okay?"

You held firm on your smile as he eyed you warily, and when he leaned over to kiss you, you relished in the touch, eyes fluttering shut as his nose skimmed your skin. He didn't pull all the way away, though, resting his forehead against yours.

His lips met your cheek, and against your skin, he whispered, "Stop hiding. I love you, and you're only worrying me more."

He took your chin in his free hand as he pulled just inches away, watching carefully when your eyes widened. "C'mon, what makes you think—?"

"I know you." He cut you off firmly, the words leaving little room for protest or contradiction. You didn't like how exposed you felt. "And I can tell that something's seriously wrong."

A moment passed in silence; your eyes darted across his expression, searching for any degree of uncertainty, but he was set fully in his convictions. You bit your lip. "Okay," you finally said, voice tiny. "I... I'm sorry, Philip."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I just want you to be honest with me." He reached up to smooth his hand over your hair, it eventually coming to rest at the nape of your neck. You nodded.

"I know." You ran your thumb over his knuckles, staring down at where your hands were interlinked. "But... I don't know what to tell you. Nothing happened, and there's nothing you can fix."

"Then what isn't okay?" he asked. "What can you talk to me about? What's weighing on you?"

How earnest his voice was only left you frustrated, sitting beside him with no answer to give. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm what's been ruining my day."

"What d'you mean?"

You huffed, tried to pull your hand away as you turned your head, struggling to articulate anything. You felt stupid; you knew whatever would come out of your mouth would sound stupid. But he didn't let your hand go, and you found yourself easing back toward his body.

"This whole day has just... it's been so fucking hard. And I haven't even done anything. I'm still in bed, for god's sake; I've been useless." Your own words made your skin crawl. You sounded so whiny; why couldn't you form a thought without coming off as pathetic?

"It's your day off, right? Why should you be productive?" he echoed your own words back to you with a kind smile, and your involuntary resentment eased in the slightest.

"Thanks, Pip. But..." You swallowed. "I'm so tired. Everything I try to do feels so exhausting. The reason my laptop's still off is because trying to find something to watch was just... making me feel worse."

He nodded. "I'm sorry." You were momentarily disappointed when he released your hand, but that same arm then snaked around your waist, and he paused, not yet trying to pull you into him. "This okay?"

How gently, how tenderly he was treating you your fatigued gaze slowly softening. "Yeah." You shut your eyes when he held you close, leaning you into his body. He was so warm, and he was so good to you. "Love you," you murmured.

"I love you, too." The small, weak smile you gave was all but imperceptible when he kissed the top of your head. "So, what d'you think's going on, then? Are you getting sick? Do I need to take you to the doctor? Pick up some antibiotics?"

The concern in his eyes had returned when you glanced up to him once more, and you pursed your lips. "No, no, it's not... I don't need the doctor, or any ibuprofen, or whatever," you murmured, and your tone sounded more hopeless than you realized. You'd burrowed your face into Philip's side, by then, and you couldn't see it when he pursed his lips. The despair in his eyes was heavier than you'd have guessed.

"Alright, princess," he said quietly. When a beat passed, you thought he was going to leave it at that, but his voice was apprehensive when he continued. "Is there... something else you know that has you so spent?"

The noise of discontent you let out into his t-shirt was almost a groan. You weren't overly pleased with his hitting the mark, but after a long pause, you gave a small, weak nod. "Yeah," you whispered. "But it isn't something you can fix."

He didn't hesitate, then, to pull you into his lap, though the action caught you by surprise. Both his hands were holding you to him by the waist; you shifted in his grasp, turning to rest against his chest, your arms looped around his neck. "Then it's a good thing you aren't broken." You lifted your head from his chest, turning it to look up at him curiously, and one of his hands left your waist, instead coming to cup your cheek. "My sister's been dealing with depression for most of her life. I get that I'll never know what it's like, but if you're willing to talk to me, trust me when I say I won't take it lightly."

His thumb sweeped across your cheekbone as you stared up at him in surprise. He furrowed his eyebrows. "What's up? Was my assumption off-base?

At that, you let out a huff, surprised but no longer bitter. "No. You're just too perceptive for your own good sometimes; you know that?" you murmured, and he laughed. You could feel it reverberate in his chest against your body.

"Not too perceptive for your own good, though, apparently." He raised an eyebrow at you, expectant, and you rolled your eyes. When you didn't respond, he continued, "How come you never told me?"

"I don't know." You sniffed. "Depression's just so fucking stupid. Like, sorry, your brain chemicals are fucked up, so you're going to spend the next week rotting in bed. What kind of deal is that?"

The droll annoyance in your words made him smile. Anything was better than the apathy. "Really, princess, who comes up with this stuff?" he replied, mirth laced into his tone as he plastered on a look of annoyance. You cracked a small smile.

"I dunno, but I'd like to have a talk with them sometime. Give 'em a piece of my mind."

He laughed, absentmindedly rubbing circles into your lower back. "You should. Stick it to the man." The way he nodded decisively made you purse your lips, small smile threatening to widen into a watery grin. "But until then, is there anything I can do for you right now? What have you done today?"

You let out a heavy sigh against his body, with that, once again fully present in your wreck of a bedroom. "I showered, and I ate a family-size bag of chips."

"Hey, so you got out of bed." He nudged you with his shoulder, wearing an encouraging smile. "That's something, right?"

"Mmhmm. And then I got right back into bed," you huffed.

"Alright. What have you eaten today? Anything?"

You raised an eyebrow. "We just covered this. Family-sized bag of chips."

"That's not exactly a meal, baby," he said, and his furrowed brow made you scowl. "Hey, I don't mean to downplay that; I'm really glad you ate. I just wanna know if I can get you anything else."

You shrugged. "I'm not hungry."

"Is there any food that you'd eat right now if you had it in front of you?"

There was a pause; you didn't move, gaze blank as you considered it, but again, you shrugged. "I dunno. Chocolate sounds nice. But I don't need anything."

"You need to eat."

"That's so unhealthy," you said quietly. Just your single day's worth of poor eating habits had you feeling beyond lousy about your body; you had no desire to see a mirror until at least the next day.

"What's unhealthy is letting yourself starve, princess." You rested the side of your head against his chest once more, having no desire to meet his eyes. You didn't want his stare to be judgmental.

"'M not starving," you mumbled, and one of his hands rose to the back of your head, holding you close as you leaned into him.

"I'm not accusing you of anything," he whispered, and his thumb brushed across the skin of your neck. "Relax. I love you. I can go and get you anything you want to eat."

"No, no, don't leave. Don't leave me," you murmured, and your hold on him tightened. "Just stay with me. Please. I'll deal with everything I've been neglecting in the morning."

He sighed. "Baby, you know I want to, but I'm worried about you. Someone's gotta take care of you if you aren't gonna take care of yourself."

"Later." You looked up at him, and he could see your distress in your gaze. "I promise, Philip. I'm just so tired. Just wanna stay in bed. Want you here with me."

"Okay." He kissed your forehead. "Okay, I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

"I promise, princess."

[babbushka]

Anyways I hate B*n S*l* because it’s like he was so keen on killing you know who and she holds out her hand really dramatically once and the he’s like “oop my deep seated mental issues are gone and I am now a savior” like huh? Baby you were hot. You were doing so well. We were all rooting for you 😩

My issue with the BS (sorry i’m too lazy to type out all the asterisks tonight lol) situation is twofold. 

The first issue I take with it, is the way it decimates Kylo’s character, and the second (and arguably more important in terms of overall impact) being the way it decimates Rey’s. 

Now, I know we don’t like to talk about Rey here on the blog, mostly because it attracts the r//ylos and that’s literally the last thing that I want, but the decision to push Kylo way off his path hurts both of the characters in completely different ways. Please allow me to explain:

(tw for mentions of abuse physical, sexual, and mental)

If we look at Kylo, and we actually examine his arc, it is clear that he was supposed to be a villain through and through. JJ and Adam have said it on multiple occasions, this was supposed to be the reverse of Vader, where we see a man reject the light at every opportunity, and continue down the path of darkness where it ultimately destroys him. And that’s exactly what he did! He was given so many chances, first with Han, then Leia, then Rey, then Luke, then Rey again, and every single time, he made the conscious decision to reject their offer of redemption, and went further into the dark. 

One of the things that is important (I think) to note, is that Kylo initially fell to the dark because he felt betrayed by those in the light. They failed him, in his mind. They allowed him to fall prey to Snoke [via Palpatine], when they knew something was wrong, and did nothing to stop it. Why would Kylo objectively want anything to do with them after that? Even if we try and play the “he turns for Rey” card -- who is Rey to him? Narratively she is a complete stranger who he tries to kill time, and time, and time and time again. 

Part of a redemption arc is the character actually wanting to change, and Kylo doesn’t! He simply doesn’t want to change, which is why narratively, it makes no sense for him to suddenly flip a switch and give his life to save another. It is objectively in opposition to what he has spent the entire 2 movies before TROS, as well as 99% of TROS itself. 

Now if we look at Rey, and we examine her arc, it is clear that she was supposed to be a protagonist in opposition to Kylo (as opposed to a narrative foil, which was Finn’s role). She was set up with the sole intention of overcoming the obstacle of Kylo’s villainy, and the villainy of the First Order as a whole. Looking at the interactions between Kylo and Rey, it is 98% violent where he is actively trying to murder her and her found family, and 2% psychologically manipulative. There is no foundation for any sort of friendship, or even acquaintanceship. He tries to kill her at every opportunity, and she tries to kill him back. JJ has confirmed that the interrogation scene is an allegory for rape.

So then why does she all of a sudden feel that it is her duty to get him to turn to the light? After he has on numerous occasions made it clear he has no interest in doing that? After he has murdered his father, put her dear friend in a coma, and violated her mind? After he has participated in the obliteration of billions of lives via Starkiller? It doesn’t make sense. And in fact, while suddenly flipping this switch in Rey’s character to be so consumed with turning Kylo back to the light (which he doesn’t not want), all it does is transform Rey into a woman with no story of her own. 

Her story is now at the service of Kylo’s, she is now there only to convince Kylo to do what she thinks is right. And what’s even worse, the writers decided to push a love interest onto her -- with the man who allegorically raped her, murdered her friends, tried to murder her, and tried to manipulate her into thinking that she was worth nothing (except to him). Instead of being a story about strength and overcoming abuse (because this is an abusive relationship), she ????? saves his life ??? and kisses him ???? Make it make sense. 

What does a redemption arc for Kylo show to audiences, ultimately and objectively? For Kylo, it means that you will never ever be free of the abuse you have suffered. You will never be able to make a life of your own, on your own terms, with your own choices. You are not your own person no matter how desperately you try. The decisions Kylo makes are heinous, but they are his decisions. This is the life that he has chosen time and time again, and a life that he feels little to no remorse or regret over. Probably the only thing he regrets is that he left anyone alive. 

For Rey, it shows audiences that men who hurt you, beat you, lie to you and manipulate you are more worthy of your time than anything else. Fixing them is more important than living your own life. Putting your life on hold for a man who actively commits violence against you is the correct and noble path to take. The decisions that Rey makes are incompatible with the actions she suffers.

It’s not only bad writing, it’s dangerous writing. And I will personally never ever be behind it. The only possible way that these two characters could have ended their journeys in a way that is both narratively fulfilling and satisfying to audiences, are by Rey killing Kylo as he is, a villain, in response to the many acts of villainy that he has committed against her and humanity. Anything else is a disservice to both characters. 

TLDR; Redemption for Kylo doesn’t make sense because #1 he doesn’t want it, and #2 he doesn’t work for it. He hasn’t earned it in any way shape or form -- in fact the only redemption we get is his own hallucination. So even within the context of the other characters, he is not seen as a redeemed person. It’s lazy and inconsistent writing. Redemption harms Rey’s character because it takes her story away from herself entirely. The narrative no longer becomes about her, it becomes more and more about Kylo, and her attempts to save or fix him when neither of those things should happen. 

It was an incredibly missed opportunity to make powerful statements about identity, independence, personal agency, and the consequences for our actions. We all know why D/LF dropped the ball so fucking hard, and for that I’ll literally never watch another piece of content from them again. 

[euphoria-vmin7]

tiger flower 02 | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre/warnings: angst, hanahaki! au, non-idol! au, heartbreak, unrequited love, swearing, drinking, sad ending, implied/mentions of death

word count: 4,805

summary: the petals were supposed to be your secret.

rating: pg-15 (swearing and drinking)

– a/n: tiger flower was actually just supposed to be one part. i had no plans of writing a part two BUT since quite a few of you asked for it, I got inspired and wrote this. it turned out longer than i expected tbh. there’s a lot of angst and crying in this but honestly, that was expected with this au lol. i hope you guys like this :)

reposting this cuz i had some technical difficulties oops-

read part 1 here

Jungkook felt an odd mixture of confusion and worry. Normally, he’d be used to you acting crazy and all, but this was different. He watched with concern as you took another lazy swig from the bottle of beer in front of you. Though, the fact that you were drinking wasn’t what was concerning him. It was the way you were acting.

Jungkook had known you for years now. He had been with you on the first night the two of you had ever gotten drunk. And to this day you had always been the same while tipsy: loud, energetic, and giggly. There wasn’t a single time he could name where you had been any different. He couldn’t even count on his fingers how many times he’d have to shush you in between giggles as you shouted random words that seemed to make sense in the middle of the bar. Crazy, loud drunk had defined you for as long as he could remember.

And though sometimes it frustrated him to no end, he found it endearing all the same. In fact, tonight he had been counting on it. He had called you to come out for a drink with him in hopes of feeling a bit more cheerful after watching you get drunk. He needed to get cheered up.

Though, instead, tonight you were different.

You were hunched over and quiet and zoning out too easily. The happy, cheerful, boisterous drunk in you had disappeared and instead been replaced by this. Whatever this was.

He briefly worried that his frown lines would permanently etch themselves to his young face.

Jungkook had been having relationship problems. That had been the sole reason why he had invited you out tonight. Though he and Jieun had only been dating for roughly three and half months, they had fought one too many times already. He loved her, he really did. But the two of them were so different in personality, that when they clashed, it didn’t end up pretty.

Another more selfish reason had drawn him to pulling out his phone and dialing your number that night. He hadn’t seen you in weeks. He had been texting you, calling you, and trying to catch up with you around campus, but every time he was brushed off in a hurried manner. He wondered whether he had done something to piss you off. But then he pushed the thought away because no, you always talked out your disagreements.

Maybe something was bothering you that you couldn’t tell him about. What it was made him frustratingly curious, especially considering that most of the times, you could always tell him about it. He’d understand. He knew you better than anyone, after all.

Or maybe it was just exactly as you said: “Sorry Kook, I’ve been trying to study for finals,”

Even though for the last few years you had always studied with him.

Maybe it was Jungkook himself. He knew that getting into a relationship had significantly reduced the time he had for you. Was he himself being distant? Perhaps you had grown so detached because he hadn’t even put in the effort to keep you close to him.

Whatever the reason was, Jungkook wished it was fixed soon. It was bad enough fighting with the girl he was dating. He didn’t want to feel your absence so deeply, either.

He thought that maybe your behavior in the past few weeks was being reflected in your drinking habits, too. Because now as he watched you gloomily take another chug of beer, he felt as though he was drinking with a different person.

He was tipsy himself, but felt as though he was seeing things much more clearly than usual. There were dark circles under your eyes that were not there before and he realized that you hadn’t once smiled fully since you arrived. You were different.

“(Name),” he nudged your shoulder, a bit surprised at how clear his own voice sounded. Your eyes lethargically moved to settle on him and he felt a bit hurt at the way you moved your body away, as though he had tainted you by the one touch.

“Yes Jungkook?” you drawled.

“What’s wrong with you?”

You snorted and chuckled. “What are you talking about?”

“Well for one you’re not standing on the table trying to imitate Jimin hyung’s dancing like usual, so what the fuck is wrong?”

“Maybe I’m just tired, Jungkook. You ever think of that?” you laughed quietly as you tipped your drink past your lips. Once again, he frowned.

“I guess…” he muttered, deciding not to push you too actively. He hoped the drinks he was paying for would help loosen your tongue. Help you spill your worries to him just as he had done to you a million times before.

“So…” you spoke up after another long gulp. “What’s with the sudden call?”

“We haven’t talked in weeks, Peanut,”

He didn’t notice how the nickname made you cringe.

“So I wanted to see you. Check in, you know?” he asked, looking down at his glass and traced the rim, feeling uncharacteristically shy. “If you were…doing okay,”

You smiled at him ruefully. He was so blissfully unaware of how everything he did made your heart swell and break at the same time.

“Kook,” you muttered, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m seriously fine. I swear, I really had to study for finals and that’s why I haven’t been hanging with you as much. I’m sorry if I worried you,”

Jungkook released a breath, an unknown weight lifting from his chest. “Ah okay. Gotcha,”

You analyzed him for a solid second before leaning back a bit. “But that’s not the only reason you called me out tonight, is it Kook?”

He winced at your uncanny ability to pick his facade apart. “No…” he responded, a miserable tone overtaking his voice. “I just…Jieun and I have been fighting,”

He missed the way your shoulders sagged with utter disappointment. Though you knew deep down that his worry for you was genuine, the fact that he wanted to meet you for help with her stung in more ways than you cared to admit. You would never say that to him though.

Instead you raise your brows in surprise and show interest. “Oh? About what?”

“I’m…not really sure,” he replies, shrugging in defeat. “We just have petty fights. I don’t know where they come from but…they don’t end well at all,”

You hummed thoughtfully, finishing your drink and motioning to the bartender for another. “Did you two, have a conversation recently that ended…badly?”

Jungkook thought back to the previous week when she had casually brought up marriage and winced to himself. He hadn’t thought about the outcome of the conversation since it had happened, but with the way you were looking at him, worry swirling in your hazy eyes, he had the urge to spill.

“She was talking about the future,” he mumbled. “And I guess I couldn’t handle it,”

Your lips made an ‘O’ shape as you took in this piece of information. “What do you mean by ‘couldn’t handle it’?”

“I…” it seemed that despite you being much more drunk than he was, he was the one who was struggling to form words. “I just…couldn’t listen to it. And when I asked her to drop it…”

You hummed once again. “Well, I guess I understand why. You aren’t ready for that yet. But she’s started thinking about it, right?”

“Yeah exactly,” Jungkook nodded. “And like we’ve only been dating for a few months now. I didn’t even consider marriage when I started dating her,”

A stagnant pause took over the conversation and Jungkook quickly wondered whether he had said something unreasonable.

“Jungkook…” you asked quietly. “Do you…see yourself getting married to her in the future?”

He balked at the question, opening his mouth to respond but finding no answer. He stopped to think about it. Did he see a future with Jieun? Sure, he was crazy about her. Heck, he was pretty sure he was in love with her. But a future?

Could he see himself, years down the line, slipping a wedding ring onto her finger? Could he see himself, years down the line, holding their children by the arms and tossing them up to the sky, tiny giggles echoing in his ears?

He hadn’t even realized that he had shut his eyes, but when he had opened them, he saw you staring at him. God, why did you look so drained?

What happened to you?

Instead of posing these questions, Jungkook tried to give you an answer. “I…don’t know. I want to see a future with her. But right now…”

You nodded. You understood. Jungkook was younger than Jieun was. She had already lived through these few years that Jungkook still hadn’t reached. So perhaps he wanted to, just not yet.

“Tell her that then,” you replied with a soft smile.

“Tell her what?” he asked, confusion lacing his tone as he looked at you. You gave him a knowing look.

“Exactly what you feel. That you want to, but not yet,”

Your voice was tired, but not because of the drinks. Something was horribly wrong and Jungkook hated not knowing what it was. More than tired you sounded…broken.

“I…” he trailed off, looking at you with shiny doe eyes. You chuckled, patting him on the shoulder before placing cash on the table.

“Trust me. You guys will get over this. You need to tell her what you’re feeling though. Don’t just drop the conversation, you know?” you grinned. “Good luck, Kookie. I’m rooting for you two,”

You pulled your jacket off the barstool and slipped your arms through the sleeves. There was a pink flush in your cheeks and Jungkook watched the way your dim eyes sparkled with something new.

It wasn’t something good. It looked painful.

“I’m gonna go,” you sighed, pulling your hair out and over your shoulders. Jungkook was standing in a second, gripping your arm quickly, but gently. The touch made you stiffen.

“By yourself?” he frowned. “You’re drunk as hell, Peanut,”

“If you’re asking if I’m driving myself home, then no,” you snorted. “I’ll call a cab,”

“I’ll drive you,”

“Psh, if you think you’re in a place to drive, Kook, you’ve got another thing coming,” you giggled. “Just take a cab or call someone,”

“At least let me walk you there,” he said hurriedly. He slammed some cash down next to yours that roughly covered his expenses. Something was wrong. It was itching at his gut and bothering him to no end that you weren’t sharing your worries with him. You didn’t even remember that he had promised you he’d pay tonight. You opened your mouth to protest but he gave you a stern glare that had you sighing in defeat. You nodded mutely and turned to shakily walk out of the bar which had suddenly become far too loud for you. Your head was pounding as Jungkook’s heavy footsteps echoed in your ears when he hurried after you. He was at your side by the time you stepped out, taking a mouthful of the cold air to quell the familiar dizziness in your head.

You could faintly make out his sweet voice on the phone, calling you a nearby cab and giving the details of your location. You smiled weakly to yourself.  

You found it harder than you expected to take proper steps and kicked yourself for drinking so much. Jungkook chuckled at you and felt his heart lift when you turned to smack him. He had the conscience to hold his arm out for you and the two of you walked down the street in relative silence. You mentally thanked Jungkook for letting you walk a bit before getting into a car. The nighttime air was doing wonders for your headache.

Jungkook glanced down at you, his teeth worrying his bottom lip as he struggled to find a way to speak. How was he supposed to ask if you were okay yet again and expect a different answer?

“(Name)…” he asked.

“Hm?”

You weren’t looking at him. Lights shone in your eyes and for a second he believed that they were the ones he knew, but the bright buildings around him quickly diminished his hope.

“Are you okay?”

You grinned. “You’ve been asking me that, Jeon. And I keep telling you I’m fine,”

He watched your gaze travel around the city and he was hit with this unfounded feeling of longing.

I missed you.

“But you’re not fine,” he stressed, feeling frustrated in you and himself. “There’s something else bothering you and you’re not telling me,”

Your shoulders sagged and Jungkook mentally celebrated his victory. “I…” you started. “I promise, Kook. I’m really fine. I’ve just been studying so much and sleeping late…”

You sounded genuine. But he wasn’t sure. He used to be able to tell whether you were lying in a second. What happened?

“And…” you trailed off.

“And?” he urged, leaning closer to you.

“I’ve…been getting sick,”

He frowned at that. He never considered that it would be your health that was causing your avoidances.

“Sick?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I guess it has something to do with all the stress I’ve been putting on myself lately. But I’ve gotten sick a lot in the past few months so…”

He bit his bottom lip in concern. “Are you…feeling better now?”

You shut your eyes and took a deep breath in. “Now…I’m okay,”

“But…?” he asked.

“But it might come back. I don’t know, it’s all really random,”

He rubbed your shoulder softly. “I’m sorry Peanut,” he felt guilty. “I haven’t even been checking up on you,”

“No,” you chuckled. “Not your fault, Kook. I’ve been keeping to myself. I didn’t want you to see me like that,”

The words confused him. You both had stumbled into each other’s houses countless number of times, no matter how sick you both were. The other one had always made chicken soup. It was a norm.

He worried.

“(Name)…”

You turned to look at him. He felt so empty when he looked into your dull eyes.

“Please take care of yourself,”

You grinned a bit and nodded. “I will,”

He barely believed that. Something was wrong. There was something else you were hiding.

You staggered a bit and Jungkook’s grip on your arms tightened. He was about to start scolding you for drinking past your limit but stopped himself. You laughed. The real laugh. Your eyes shut, pink flushed cheeks, and windswept hair, and yet, you looked so unreal. How long had he been away from you? Did you really have such a strong hold on him that in just a few weeks of being away from you, he had forgotten the way you laughed? He felt a surge of disappointment in himself.

“You’re crazy,” he said, shaking his head as a chuckle escaped his lips. “So fucking crazy,”

“Yeah yeah,” you brushed off, slurring a bit. “Which makes me much more entertaining than you are,”

He had it in him to chuckle. He saw the cab pull up and held his hand up to catch the driver’s attention.

“The cab’s across the street. Think you can make it without kissing the road?” he teased and you laughed once again. His heart swelled with pride and relief.

“I’ve got it,”

That was a lie. You paused a bit and blinked quickly, as though trying to get your eyes to focus.

Then you stumbled forward and Jungkook scrambled to hold you against him. Though he wasn’t prepared for the harsh cough to tumble past your lips. You wheezed in pain, clutching at your chest and his heart thudded with worry. The worry disappeared completely when he saw the petals. You hacked into your hands, repetitive coughs that sounded so painful, he felt it in his own chest. They continued to fall, bright orange against your skin. Petals turned into whole flowers.

When the coughs ceased, Jungkook was looking to your palms in shock. His heart shattered when his eyes darted to your face. You refused to look at him, instead staring at your shaking hands with one expression.

Caught.

His breath hitched, and then an influx of emotions filled his chest. Shock, then pity, sadness, and finally anger.

“What the fuck, (Name),” he uttered in a low voice. “What the fuck is this?”

He knew what it was. He knew what it meant. And the only thought running through his mind was killing the person who was causing this.

“It’s…” you started and he missed the way your voice shook.

“Is this what you meant by getting sick?”

“Listen-”

“Just how long have you been hiding this from me?!” he couldn’t control the volume of his voice. “Who is it?”

“Jungkook-”

“Who is it?!”

“Fuck,” you swore, shutting your eyes and gripping your hair. “I can’t,”

He was livid. Red hot anger burned in his throat.

“You’re protecting him?! After you’ve been suffering through all of this?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”  

There was no way you actually believed you could keep this from him. You bit your lip to prevent a sob from escaping. You didn’t want it to happen this way.

“Get the surgery,” he ordered lowly and you remained quiet.

“Kook-”

“(NAME)!!” he yelled, holding your shoulders. “GET THE FUCKING SURGERY!!”

“I CAN’T!!” you shouted back, tears falling now. He stepped back a bit, though now he was even angrier.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU WOULD RATHER DIE FOR THIS BITCH THAN GET THE SURGERY-”

“IT’S YOU JUNGKOOK!!”

It took him a second to process what you said. He was so focused on his anger, on your tears, and on how stupid he had been for not seeing this earlier. When he repeated it once more in his head, fear swallowed him whole. His hands dropped as he looked down at you, lips parted, heart racing.

“What?”

“It’s you,” you sniffled noisily. “I’m in love with you. The petals came because you didn’t feel the same,”

What does one say to that? How does one respond to that?

I’m helpless.

For the first time in his life, Jungkook is speechless. He has no response to your words. No response that seems appropriate enough.

“I’m not getting the surgery for this, Jungkook. Anyone else, maybe. But you,” you cleared your throat and wiped your eyes. The dullness in them suddenly made sense, and Jungkook’s throat tightened. “I would never. Goodnight, Kook,”

You turn to cross the street and Jungkook is desperate to chase after you. But an unknown force keeps him rooted to the spot. His legs are heavier than any weights he has ever lifted before. And the image of your back getting further and further away from him paints itself into his mind. Petals fall from the sky and he cries.

Hundreds of texts and plenty of calls were ignored until he couldn’t take it anymore. He had always respected your privacy. He decided he was past that. His knuckles were stinging and he was sure they’d bruise with the force of his knocks. He knew you were in your apartment. There was no way you had left since the cab had dropped you off, as Jungkook arrived only minutes later.

Jungkook made a promise to wait there until you opened the door. And both of you knew exactly how stubborn he was. He was counting on it tonight.

“Open the door, (Name),” his voice was already shaking and he cursed himself. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to force you to think rationally.

His knocks were desperate. He wished you’d just give up and open the door, but he knew you were just as stubborn as he was. Memories of competitions and play fights flashed behind his eyes and his throat tightened. He swallowed thickly and knocked harder.

“What the fuck, Jungkook-”

He himself was surprised at the way you wrenched the door open but he got over it quickly and pushed his way inside. You were still dressed in the clothes you had worn to the bar, but you looked much more tired. He wondered how many more flowers you had coughed up since you left. The thought made him sick.

“Jungkook, please,” you sighed. “I’m tired I just want to-”

“How long?” he asked quietly and you sighed again.

“Kook-”

“How long?” he repeated. He already knew, but he needed to hear it from you.

“Too long,” you answered and he shut his eyes tightly. “Years, Kook,”

“Fuck,” he cursed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What good would it have done?” you turned away to walk to your couch. Memories of the two of you curled up on that couch made him wince.

“It…” he started but he had no answer. You smiled knowingly.

“Exactly. You would’ve just felt guilty for years and we probably wouldn’t have such a great friendship,”

“You should’ve told me,” he repeated, even though he knew you were right. You just shook your head to yourself as he took a seat next to you carefully, as though you’d break right then and there.

“It was my struggle. I have to deal with it,”

He took a shaky breath in, his hands clammy. “Have you told anyone else yet?”

“My parents know,” you sighed before chuckling at the pamphlets littering your center table. “As you can see they’ve been trying to persuade me to get the surgery-”

“And you should!” he shouted, though you barely flinched.

“Jungkook,” you said sternly, turning to face him. “You know what the side effects are, don’t you?”

He remained quiet, though yes, he did know.

“I’ll lose my memories. Of you. Of us. I can’t do that, Kookie,”

“Why not?” he asked, his eyes glazing over as tears pooled at his waterline. “Why can’t you?”

“Because,” you smiled ruefully. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you. I can’t lose that,”

He put his face in his hands and sniffled shakily. He could barely look at you. He hated that you’d given up.

“B-But I do love you,” he tried. His fingers were grasping thin air, but all they were catching were the petals of the tiger flower.

“No, Kookie,” you shook your head. “You know that’s not enough,”

Strong friendship was not enough. His friendship was not enough. He’d never be enough.

“I fell in love with you but you don’t love me in the same way,” you smiled up at him and he felt his heart break. “It’s okay,”

How could you say that? How could you pretend like everything was okay? Nothing is okay about this. He felt so useless. So upset. So angry. So helpless.

I fell in love with you but you don’t love me in the same way.

“No no,” he was crying. “No I do love you. I do,”

You shook your head sadly and he cursed you for being able to smile at him like that. Light he once knew, light that comforted him any time he needed, had completely disappeared from your eyes.

He’s helpless. He needed to do something. Anything, you persuade you. He had to show you.

I love you, I do. I’m enough, I swear. I love you, that’s enough.

When he kissed you, your heart shattered for the final time. You could taste the salt of tears but you weren’t sure whether they came from him or you. One kiss. One final kiss.

You had spent years of your life waiting for this one moment. But yet when it came, you wished it hadn’t. You wanted nothing more than for this moment to be yet another one of your wishful dreams.

Because you and he both knew that it meant nothing. It meant nothing that could save you. He was trying so hard to pull you back to him. To prove that he was being sincere. But whether he was convincing you or himself was lost in the sound of hearts breaking.

He pulled away, hands still holding your face, knowing that once he let go, he’d lose you forever. Your hair tickled his skin like the whispers of childish secrets once did, and he reveled in the feeling. He was sobbing. You had never seen him sob like this before.

“How could you do this to me?” you shut your eyes to avoid looking at him, his crumbling expression brewing yet more guilt inside of you. “How could you let me do this to you?”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kookie,” you chuckled weakly. “It was mine,”

“Stop it,” tears were dripping down his soft cheeks fast as he pushed his forehead against yours. “You’re hurting so much because of me. Stop it,”

What he was telling you to stop, even he didn’t know. A part of him wanted to shout and scream. To scold you for ever having feelings for an idiot like him. Just stop it. Stop loving me, please.

But even he knew it was easier said than done. It had happened. The damage had already been done.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered through cries. “I’m so sorry,”

“It’s not your fault,” you repeated, smiling. He loved that smile, but in that moment, he hated it more than anything. He prayed to the heavens that you would stop pretending like everything was okay. It was not okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.

“Get the surgery,” he pleaded. “Please (Name), get the surgery. I can’t…”

He choked on a sob but you knew what he wanted to say. I can’t lose you.

“Kook,” you mumbled, putting a hand on his cheek. “I never want to forget us,”

He broke then and there, legs going weak and he sobbed. He fell to his knees and cried into his hands. He knew that you had made up your mind. There was nothing he could do to change your mind.

He hated you. God, he hated you more than anything.

He hated the way you bent down to hug him the same way you had been hugging him for years. He hated the way you were the one comforting him when he should’ve been the one holding you. He hated how you were okay. You weren’t supposed to be okay. You were supposed to scream and cry and curse him for breaking your heart like this. You were supposed to hate him. Hate him so that he could feel the pain he had caused you all these years.

He quietly wished that he was the one coughing up petals instead.

Why were you so understanding?

How could you still love him after he had reduced you to this? How could you even bring yourself to hold him when every touch was killing you on the inside?

That’s when he realized that he would never be as good as you. All the playful competitions over the years that he had taken the prize for paled in comparison to this one moment. You won against him, but you lost everything, and his heart ached for you.

You were going. You were leaving him and there was nothing he could do to keep you with him. All his life, Jungkook had despised feeling helpless. But he had never known that it could feel like this. That helplessness could feel like utter destruction. He cursed fate. He cursed the universe. He cursed everything he knew because why? Why did fate have to do this to him, to you? Why did the universe create such a path for people? Why did the people who suffer meet such heartbreaking ends? Why you? Why did you fall for him? Why wouldn’t you let him go? Why you?

His arms felt like lead when they moved to wrap around you, but he held you tighter than he had ever done before. Your body was warm, and images of play fights, spontaneous knocks, and fortresses made of blankets and pillows filled his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking from them. Childish laughter echoed in his ears, melding with sweet whispers, and heartfelt secrets. Somewhere in the distance, something shattered. He felt soft petals brush against his skin. They tickled his subconscious, and he choked on a sob. He opened his eyes and looked down at his arms, cursing the lies and false hope he had tried to give you earlier. He praised you for being able to see through him, just as you had always been able to. He felt bile rise up in his throat as his glossy eyes danced over his own tattoos.

He hated Tiger Flowers.

.

.

.

a/n: i wanted to leave the ending broad like this so you can imagine what happens afterwards!! though i think the options are pretty limited lol. i hope you enjoyed :)

[forever-rogue]

Honey & Velvet - Part 4

Summary: Ruthless CEO Max Lord is about to meet his biggest match yet in another CEO such as cunning and biting as he can be.

A/N: Thank you guys for all of your support on this story. Your love for it is beautiful and I appreciate. I hate and love Max so much! If you’d like to be tagged, please let me know, and as always, feedback and comments are always welcome! xx

Pairing: Maxwell Lord x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: masturbation (18+ only!!); sex; language

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

Max sighed to himself as he grabbed his letter opener to unseal the surprise special delivery. He wasn’t used to having do such a menial task for himself; no that’s why he paid others to do it all for him. Tossing the weighted object down, he reached in and felt around, trying to figure out what was inside. It didn’t feel like a letter or any sort of documents, but pictures rather. Polaroids to be exact.

His breath hitched in his throat as he slowly pulled the small stack of photos, trying to prevent himself from taking them in too quickly. He wanted to savor this moment, to remember his exact reaction when he saw the photos. Since it was you and he already had a taste of your fiery personality, he knew it could have been pictures of anything; perhaps you had decided to play a trick on? Hell, it could have been pictures of your feet...although he might have found a way to think that was sexy too. He was a man of...interesting taste.

He set the small, square photos in a neat stack in from of him, arranged just perfectly for him to easily filter through. As soon as his eyes landed on the first image, he picked it up and held it in front of his eyes to examine it closely. There you were, frozen in time and space, immortalized in the photo. You were staring back at him, posed in a scandalous position as you stared directly at the camera, lips pouted perfectly. He licked his own lips as he looked through the photos trying not to get too lost in them. He was, after all, still in the middle of his work day, and not exactly in the positions to just get out his frustrations. 

Letting a heavy breath out through his nose, Maxwell already felt his cock twitch in his trousers, that familiar sensation beginning to take hold. He flicked through the rest of the photos, each of them getting progressively more scandalous, until the last photo. He audibly groaned at it as he tried to study it as closely as possibly. Of course you would manage to send him a photograph of yourself completely nude, but with just enough shadowing so he couldn’t see everything. But it left very little to the imagination, and was enough to send him over the edge. 

Fuck it. 

Tossing the picture back onto the edge, he quickly unzipped his trousers, which happened to be brand new and in season; he’d made quick work of refreshing his wardrobe after your little comment when you’d first had cornered him in his office. He pulled out his cock, already fully hard and leaking, and leaned back in his chair. The door to his office wasn’t locked, but he was so caught up in the moment it didn’t matter to him, besides that he knew most people knew better than ever dare to walk in without knocking. 

A low sound, a mixture between a moan and growl escaped his lips as he started to stroke himself, eyes scanning over your myriad of photos. He could only imagine how good it was going to feel when he finally was able to be inside of you, to feel your walls around him. He’d get his sweet, sweet revenge on you for making him lust this hard after you. He could see it now: taking his time with you, leaving you on edge until you were crying and begging for him to finally fuck you. 

With the image of you firmly planted in his mind, it didn’t take long before stifled moans managed to slip past his lips. Finding one of the favorite photos of the bunch he held it near his cock as he came, letting your name spill off of his lips like a quiet prayer; repeated, gentle, hopeful. He spilled all over his hand, dragging his high out, managed to get a few drops of his thick cum on the edge of your photo. Max you couldn’t wait to see how good you would look with it all over you.

He smiled at his handiwork before dropping the Polaroid back onto his desk and reaching for one of his trusty handkerchiefs. He felt bad, almost, about the stack of used squares that the cleaner had to deal with every week. Sometimes it was none, sometimes, especially of late, they were many. Anyone with half a brain could figure out what they used for, but he couldn’t bothered in caring. If anything, Max could easily convince them that it was really anything.

But for now, coming down from his climax, he was...satisfied and would be content for a small while. Glancing around to make sure no one had intruded for whatever reason, he gathered the photos and tucked them into the top drawer of his desk, the one that was always locked. They would live there for now, until they were of further use, which probably would be sometime in the near future. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

For several hours you were sitting in your office, twiddling your thumbs, both metaphorically and literally, as you waited, and waited, and waited, for a call that never came. It was frustrating, infuriating even, to sit around and be so distracted that it prevented you from even working. How could you let this one man, this one infuriating man, get under your skin so much?

After a while of sitting around and getting nothing done, you let out a long sigh, dropping your head to the desk as you tried to clear your mind. You thought you were being quiet, at least somewhat subtle, but Adina was quick to knock on your door, poking her head inside to find you in distress.

“Y/N?” she asked as you sat up bolt right, trying to collect yourself and not make it seem like you were nearing the middle experiencing mental anguish. Over a fucking man. 

“What can I do for you?” you asked with a stunted smile. She raised an eyebrow, giving you a quizzical expression. Of all the times to be a bad liar, this was not the time. 

“Is everything alright?” she asked and you nodded even before the question was fully out, which most definitely didn’t help your case, “really? Don’t mind me, but you’re acting...off.”

“Off?” your voice pitched about an octave as you realized you were still digging your own grave. She’d known you for so long, she knew you about as well as you knew yourself, “w-what do you mean?”

“I mean...” she trailed off and waved her arm around as if trying to make a general statement of off, “you’re acting kind of weird, different lipstick, which I’ve never seen you do before, I don’t think you’ve done a single thing today, which I am totally not judging by the way...ever since you’ve gotten those deliveries. What even was in them?”

“Adina,” you popped up and walked over to her, putting an around her shoulder, doing your best to give her a small hug, “my sweet, sweet Adina. There’s nothing wrong, I promise. I’m just...tired. Had a late night. It’s totally just me, you have nothing to worry about. I might take off a little early today though...try and get some rest.”

In Benjamin’s bed. Again.

“Y/N,” she back down in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited you closely, “I’ve known you since we were in college. I know when you’re acting different.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” you insisted, leaning against the doorway, trying to present yourself as being cool and collect, “I promise. I could never lie to you. Everything is fine.”

Except right now. I’m a dirty, dirty liar.

“If you’re sure,” she was hesitant, but willing to accept your answer. You’d never given her a reason not to believe you before, why would you start now? 

“I am,” you tried to let out a natural sounding laugh, but even to it sounded stunted...awkward, “you needn’t worry about me. Your energy is much better spent on almost anything else.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you shot her a quick wink. You were about to go back into your office to attempt to do a little work before making a departure for the day, but Adina cleared her throat right before you walked away, “yes, ma’am?”

“Your blouse,” she pointed to the mismatched buttons, “it’s all wonky. Fix your buttons, boss.”

“Oh,” your cheeks felt like they were on fire as you looked down and spotted your mistake. Oops, you wanted to kick yourself. In your haste to slip back into your work clothes, you must not have been paying that much attention. You hoped that Adina hadn’t noticed that your shirt was perfectly crisp and buttoned when you came in that morning, “silly me...must...be getting lazy in the morning.”

“Hmm,” was the only sound out of her mouth as she slowly swiveled in her chair, back to the work sprawled out on her desk. Your door was almost closed when she remarked, “Benjamin called for a little while ago. Said you spoke this morning and asked if you could give him a call back at your convenience.”

“Ben,” you sighed loudly, thinking about whacking your head against the door. Of course he called; that would only raise Adina’s suspicions - the two of you hadn’t parted on good terms and that was knowledge to most people, “oh funny. I’ll give him a call back.”

“It’s been a while since you’ve spoken to him, hasn’t it?” there was a curious lilt to her voice as she seemed to play Sherlock, digging and digging until she finally discovered the truth. You turned and gave her a small smile, “I didn’t know you were still on speaking terms with him.”

“We...are,” if that’s what you called spending time in bed and fucking nowadays, “I had to speak to him for something business related. It’s just a transaction we’re hammering out.”

A wonderful choice of words.

“Sure,” there was a tone to suggest she absolutely did not believe you, but without any real evidence, she couldn’t just accuse you of anything. On top of that, you’d never given her a reason not to trust you; you were the boss after all, “if I can do anything, please let me know.”

“The...envelope from earlier,” your voice cracked a little and you found it hard to meet her eyes, “it got delivered, yes?”

“Yes,” she promised, “I gave it directly to Mr. Lord’s assistant and I saw her bring it into his office.”

“Wonderful-”

“What was it regarding, again? Anything I need to be aware of?” you swallowed the lump in your throat at her words. You hated having to lie to her as much as you hated the feeling you were experiencing for the petulant bastard himself.

“No. If anything comes up, you’ll be the first to know,” you promised and turned back to your office and closed the door slowly as you heard her mumble something in response. Making sure the door was locked, you let out a low, “fuck.”

You hated lying and trying to sneak around. You shouldn’t have even needed to be sneaking; you were a grown woman that could do whatever you pleased. If you wanted to fuck Maxwell Lord then you could.

Shit.

You finally admitted it to yourself. You wanted to fuck him. What had happened to you? It had to be...something. Maybe your hormones were off or...literally anything else. There’s no other reason you could possibly want him, right? He was just a silly man child in an overpriced suit with a bad dye job and too much time on his hands. What was so appealing about that? Nothing. But the growing neediness between your legs suggested otherwise. 

Whatever it was you knew you couldn’t let it get any further. No, you had to clear your mind and get back to work. This was all business and it couldn’t be anything more. You would never mix business and pleasure and you certainly weren’t about to start for him.

Jumping onto your desk, you reached for your phone, fingers hesitating slightly as you contemplating dialing Max and telling him you were done. But no. That would be giving into him, egging him on and giving him just more reason to contact you again. 

Dialing Benjamin wasn’t a much better option, but right now it was the lesser of two evils. With a shaking finger, you dialed his direct office line, still finding that you had it memorized. A part of you was hoping that he wouldn’t pick up; if he didn’t you would have the excuse that you tried but couldn’t get through to him. Yes, you thought to yourself, perfect.

But just before it rang out, that smooth, slightly accented voice picked up on the other, “Y/N. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Ben,” you said firmly, not surprised that he immediately knew it was you,  “you can’t just call my office whenever you please! Adina is going to get suspicious - everyone knows we don’t talk.”

“Relax,” he chuckled on the other end, “I was perfectly pleasant and didn’t offer her even a drop of what happened last night.”

“Ben-”

“What?” he asked and you sighed in response, “you’re the one calling me back. Surely you could have just ignored me if you weren’t interested in...speaking.”

“Fine,” you gave in, rolling your eyes and wishing he could see, “when are you free?”

“I can be free whenever you need me to be,” gods was he always this cocky? He was almost as bad as Max. Maybe it was time to reevaluate your taste in men. 

“Meet me at mine in an hour,” you hated yourself even as the words came out, “but this is the last time. I swear it, Benjamin.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” you loathed the nickname but he always made it a point to call you that, “I’ll see you at yours. Champagne?”

“Whatever I need to drown out that fact that I’ve resorted to fucking you again,” you twisted the cord in your hands as he could just laughed, “perhaps something stronger.”

“I’ll see you soon,” with that he hung up and you found yourself listening to the dial tone again. Slowly, you put the phone down, it suddenly feeling heavy in your hand, along with the weight of everything else in your heart. You shouldn’t be acting like this; like some sort of fool just running around like sort of animal in heat. 

But this was the last time; you kept repeating that to yourself. You were just going to fuck Ben one last time, or times that afternoon, and then get back to your normal self. Maybe if you kept repeating that yourself it would eventually come true. 

Maybe.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Oh fuck,” you were on top of Ben, hands on his chest as you rode him, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to that sweet edge you so desperately craved. His large hands were on your hips, in a grip like a vice as he steadied you.

“God, you feel so good,” he managed to moan in between his thrust as he felt your walls start to clench around him, “missed having you so much.”

You didn’t return the sentiment, not exactly proud that you were in this position, but when you were so lost in the moment, you didn’t care. Closing your eyes as you started to see stars, you threw your head back in ecstasy as the familiar crescendo of your orgasm started in the bottom of your belly. You felt his cock twitch within you as he thrust with more vigor. 

“Fuck,” Ben groaned, “‘m gonna cum.”

“Me too,” his hands from your hips to your breasts, massaging them in just the right way to pull a few mewls from your lips. Gods, it had been ages since you’d been with someone that knew how to touch you, to make you feel good. If the two of you weren’t so similar and didn’t butt heads all the time, you relationship could have blossomed into something beautiful. But you were okay with this - a satisfying orgasm; it was better than nothing.

It was only a few more bounces before you climaxed, a small cry erupting from your lips as you waves of pleasure rippled throughout your whole body. Ben came along with you, coating your insides with hot, thick ropes of cum as your name came off his lips repeatedly, like a quiet prayer. 

Running your hands over his chest, you were so lost in the moment that you didn’t even realize what you were saying. But when a soft little Max fell off your lips, that wasn’t lost on Benjamin, your current partner who was certainly not Maxwell Lord.

“What?” he asked as his eyes snapped open and the moment was all but killed. He stopped moving and his roughly came back to your hips as he pushed you off of him. You let out a sound of surprise at the sound movement, and the loss of feeling so full, as you fell against your pillows.

“What the hell?” you asked as you suddenly felt more naked and exposed than ever, pulling the silk sheet up to cover yourself, “what’s your problem, Ben?”

“Who the fuck is Max?” he asked with wild eyes as he practically jumped out of your bed, grabbing his discarded clothes on the floor. Your own eyes widened in shock as you realized what must have happened, “who is he?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“I’m not a fucking idiot,” his voice was low, dangerous, almost predatory as he pulled his clothes back on, “is that why you’ve been wanting to see me?”

“Ben, you don’t understand,” you closed your eyes and groaned as you leaned back against the headboard. A few tears of frustration welled up in your eyes as you tried to get him to see reason. You weren’t the only bad guy in this scenario; he too basically had admitted this was just for sex, “it’s not like that. It’s complicated.”

“Complicated,” he repeated with a snarl as he shook his head at you, “it’s not that complicated, Y/N, it never is. If you’re so caught up in thinking about whoever the fuck Max is, go and fuck him.”

“Ben-”

“And leave me out of it,” he walked out of your bedroom, but you weren’t satisfied with leaving it be. Instead, you dashed out of bed, still as naked as the day you were born, and walked after him.

“Don’t act like I’m the bad guy,” you tried your best to contain your temper, “we agreed that this was just sex. We both got what we wanted. Hell, I wouldn’t have cared if you pretended I was fucking Cleopatra. It’s not personal and it’s not that deep. Get over yourself and be glad you got someone to fuck you with that piss pour excuse of an attitude.”

“You’re a lot of things, Y/N,” he sighed as he shook his head at you, “I didn’t think you were this. I’m out of here. I get that this was just sex, and I can get down with that. But if you just wanted someone else the whole time, you could have done me the courtesy of letting me know. As least have been honest.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“When’s the last time you were honest with yourself?” he asked and you hung your head. He had a point with that, at the very least, “maybe if you figure out what you really want you can let me know. But this? Where I’m just a substitute for what you really want? I’m not okay with it.”

“Just leave,” you pointed at the door and he left without another word. You sighed as you relocked the door after him, cursing yourself more than anything. He had made some decent points and you were willing to admit that, but you hated yourself more than anything. How could you have left him get into your mind like this. He was slowly consuming every part of your thoughts. Even when you thought you were able to keep him out, he managed to invade your mind. 

Walking to the fridge, you pulled out the bottle of champagne that Ben had brought with him, quickly cracking it open and filling up a class for yourself. You took it and sat out on the balcony, in the dying light of day, far beyond caring about who, if anyone, would see you in your naked glory. At this point you felt lost. You didn’t know what to do anymore, and you weren’t sure if you were to give in quite yet. Could you ever live with yourself if you gave in to the biggest prick you’d ever met?

»»————-　♡　————-««

The next couple of days passed in sheer, agonizing slowness. You weren’t sure how time could manage to pass so slowly, but sure enough it did. You swore that for every hour that crept by it had felt like ten. Your mind was all over the place and it was hard to focus on any one thing. But you made yourself stick it out and managed to get the bare minimum done. It was better than nothing. 

And if anyone nothing anything off, they didn’t mention it. Maybe you were that good of an actress. Adina had only given a concerned glance here and there but never pried more than necessary. She probably knew better than to upset you and unleash your wrath. There had been a few times when you had gotten angry, truly angry, and she had witnessed all of them. It was scary, and truth be told she hadn’t realized you were possible of such ire. 

But as the weekend slowly approached, you were glad you’d have an excuse to isolate and remain at home, feeling sorry for yourself. But you found yourself drifting further and fruther into a daydream, lost as you started outside your window, you found yourself picking up the phone. His number was halfway dialed by the time you really realized what you were doing. Biting the inside of your cheek, you willed yourself to stop and put the phone down. You were long beyond that point though; you knew that deep down in your bones.

“Maxwell Lord’s office,” was her voice always so sickeningly sweet? You could still hang up, if you really wanted to.

“Y/N L/N for Mr. Lord, if he’s available,” there was a pause on her end as she registered who you were. It was almost as if she was judging you; you didn’t blame her. You were judging you too. All you heard was a few clicks of the phone system and then a bit of tense silence before the other end was picked up.

“Y/N,” for the first time, his voice didn’t have that automatically arrogant tone. It sounded almost...normal, kind even. When you didn’t say anything he let out a small laugh, “I was wondering if I’d ever heard from you. I received your package by the way, it was...exquisite.”

“Why?” you suddenly blurted out, unable to control yourself, “why me?”

“Why you what?” he smiled to himself as he leaned back in his chair, feet on his pristine desk as normal, “I’m not sure I follow.”

“Why are you coming after me?” you asked, hiding your face behind your hand, feeling a flush come over you, “I’m just...”

“You,” he finished for you. If you didn’t know him, you’d almost think he was normal...just like any other man, “what more do you need?”

“I...” you trailed off, unable to believe the words that were teetering on your lips, “when can I see you?”

He let out a warm laugh, and when he wasn’t be a complete jerk, it was a pleasant sound; a warm, rich, velvety timbre. You wondered if you had made a mistake...if it was too late to take it back, “I happen to be free all weekend. If I didn’t know any better, Ms. L/N, I think you were volunteering to spend time with me. Did Mr. Vasquez did not do it for you anymore?”

“How do you know about Ben-”

“It doesn’t matter,” there was that a bit of that arrogant tone in his voice. Of course. The real Maxwell Lord was bound to come out at one point or another, “I’ll have a car to pick up tomorrow evening at six.”

“Fine,” will you had the option of refusing his offer, you both knew you weren’t going to. But you still liked the illusion of choice.

“And Y/N?” you waited for him to go, “wear it. All of it.”

Without feeling the need to expand, he hung up and you did the same, biting your lip in almost nervous anticipation. You’d finally given in and broken down. He had you right where he wanted you. You could still change your mind, refuse to go through with it, and keep whatever was left of your dignity...

But your fate had been sealed some time ago. The day you first inked a deal to work with him. The first time you called him out for shamelessly staring at your tits. 

You sighed lightly.

What a world.

»»————-　♡　————-««

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