#writing this here so i don't write a whole fic about them that derails everything else

[laolafi]

Rosamund Painswick has a companion. An equally wealthy and spectacular socialite who lives right on the other side of Belgrave Square. Widowed at a young age, even younger than Rosamund, but around the same time Marmaduke Painswick died. Let's call her Alice.

They host the most spectacular soirées in their respective Belgravia homes. They travel the continent together, extensively. They collect art and become patrons for museums and collections that would later rise to global importance. That kind of thing. They raise Alice's children together – the Crawley girls wonder why they call her "Auntie Rummy". They're madly, deeply in love and it shows.

Over time, the family grows extremely fond of Alice. Robert, who had the hardest time accepting the situation and spent a lot of time indignantly huffing and puffing about it, most of all. It's just a basic fact, Aunt Rosamund comes with her companion or not at all.

When Maud Bagshaw appears and announces that she intends to make her young maid Lucy her companion, Robert jumps to all the wrong conclusions and is appropriately scandalised.

[doyouknowbtsswag]

Hiii, hruuuu i loved your chishiya fic and wanted to request a chishiya imagine/oneshot where he tries to fluster YOU but it backfires and he gets flustered and embarrased and shy (unnecessary detail but the reader is also rlly quiet and is good at manipulating and stuff like that)

Also, no rush, hope ur gonna write this and hope your doing well, eating,drinking and sleeping well, love youuu byeee<33

Playboy |Chishiya|

I am so sorry it’s been so long since this was requested hopefully you like it😭

The sound of loud party music and people messing around could be heard miles away. The people around me to hyper for their own good and the alcohol they were drinking wasn't helping. I awkwardly sat on one of the sun chairs annoyed at the current outfit I was wearing if it counts as one. The stupid bikini I had to wear that showed off almost everything on my body. I saw a guy coming over near the group of people in front of me ready to attack them with water. I quickly got up from the chair and wandered around to find somewhere water-free which was inside. I cringed walking past the bar filled with people drunk out of their minds and doing the most vulgar things that belonged in private. I walked faster through the halls not wanting to take the risk of bumping into Niragi. I internally gagged at the thought of him in general. I stayed by myself the whole time I've been in borderland not wanting to cling to someone and then lose them. I opted on going up to the roof knowing no one would party up there. The breeze countered the stuffy feeling downstairs. The smell of alcohol and smoke leaving my nose and having a fresh smell. I leaned against the railing looking out to the sea. I smiled thinking about what my life will be like after Borderland and I don't intend on dying anytime soon.

I play the game as if it was Chess. I collect my allies as if they're my pawns once I don't need them I knock them off the board. The day I ended up here was bittersweet. I need a reliable pawn so I can make my way up to one day get rid of the people in my way to beat the game and one of the people who are in my way so far is that bastard Niragi and the militants who are nothing but assholes. Once that happens I'll get them in my clutch and knock them off my board and make sure they shatter. I groaned in annoyance hearing the door open thinking two people were up here to hook up.

"I didn't see you come up here," a girl said as I glanced over my shoulder.

"I've been up here" I shrugged in an unbothered tone. "It's a nice spot" I turned around to see who it was.

"I can't blame you," the familiar face said. I've seen her multiple times and played a game or two with her.

Perfect pawn

"What's your name again? We've played quite a few games together It's funny we've never exchanged names" I gave a fake smile.

"Kuina"

"Oh, I've never seen him before," I said casually nodding to the mysterious guy.

"Chishiya," He said giving an unbothered grin.

Another pawn

"Nice to meet you," I said a little pissed at his perfect grin that matched his face perfectly.

I walked a bit closer so I wasn't so far from the pair but I stood at a comfortable distance from them. However, the blonde seemed amused by the interaction.

"So what brings you up here?" I asked watching and listening to them carefully.

"Why should we tell you?" Chishiya said with his hands in his pockets.

He's confident

"Just wondering since I'm planning on staying up here" I crossed my arms.

"You will eventually so don't worry about it"

Stop with the smug smile

"Maybe I will or maybe I won't" I shrugged.

"So Y/n how've you been?" Kuina asked derailing the topic.

"I've been fine just hanging around" I shrugged. "Not much to do"

"Your right about that"

"Not much of a party girl huh?" The blonde piped in as if he wanted to piss me off.

"Not really I'm not interested in getting wasted when I have to play games to survive wouldn't be smart would it?"

"Your right about that" He moved his head to the side chuckling. "You just look like a party girl"

"Oh really?" I uncrossed my arms. "How so?"

"Your swimsuit and the way you have your hair"

Is he trying to flirt with me or catch me off guard?

"So we're going by looks"

"Maybe," He said confidently.

I walked closer to him till we were shoulder to shoulder.

"Then I guess you look like a playboy" I whispered in his ear. "Thanks for the compliment earlier by the way”

I didn't have to look at his face to see his cheeks tinted red. The way his body tensed up told me I won the silent confidence battle.

"I'll leave you two to talk about whatever you need to talk about" I walked to the roof door to get back down. I waved goodbye seeing Kuina's confused look and Chishiya's mouth wide open. "Oh and don't die" I winked and grinned walking downstairs.

[rillils]

RILLLLLLSSSSSSSSS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HKJFHSDKJ

i so terribly want to write but i dont know howwwwwww ughhhhhhhhhh hsdkfhasdhfjk i have one (1) singular blob of words that i think is amazing, one (1) convo between them. and youre telling me that i have to write a whole fic around it 😭😭😭 how do you do it rils 😭 the little thing i wrote is so soft and so pure, i dont wanna ruin it 😭 its just steve talking and all the actions are in my head, how on earth do i put it into words

not enough appreciation is being shown to writers istg, i owe them my life

honey, you're asking the big questions here 😭😭

I know, sweetheart, writing can be both a pleasure and a struggle - actually, sometimes it is both at once xD I never got the hang of it, myself, but all the writers in the world deserve an actual medal for every single line they write and put out there for us to enjoy!!

I don't think there is one fool-proof recipe for a smooth writing session, where the words simply come to you and it's like the fic just wrote itself without any bumps in the road (that's an extremely rare occurrence, if it ever happens at all); but I do think there are some things you can consider when you're writing:

if you already know what needs to happen in your fic (that is to say, if you know what the characters are going to say and/or do), that's a good thing!! amazing, actually! I know that, when you envision a certain scene, it can be hard to translate the characters' actions into words. try to picture that scene in your head: what do you see? are the characters talking? if they're talking, what's the tone of their conversation? are they whispering, are they chatting, are they arguing, yelling, laughing...? how do they feel: are they happy, anxious, angry, sad...? you can focus on their mannerism too, to convey their emotions: are they gesticulating? are they tense, maybe sitting up too straight? are they nervous, bouncing their leg, biting their lip? are they comforting someone? are they showing affection with their body language? leaning into the other character's space, or touching them, or snuggling up to them, hugging/kissing/sharing meaningful looks? there are so many things you can try and explore with your writing! which, maybe that makes it feel even more scary sometimes, but you don't have to explore everything all at once. you don't have to already have everything set clearly in your mind from the get go: you can build your fic (or your scene) little by little, line by line. one step at a time, honey <3 and if you don't like the first draft, don't worry! first drafts are made to be edited and changed and even taken apart, that's perfectly normal!

you won't ruin your fic, honey, trust me on that <3 now you have the foundations: all you're going to do is, you'll keep building on those foundations, and around them, bit by bit, without hurry, because there is no hurry. you'll pour all your love into it, and you'll watch it grow, until you feel that it has reached its natural end.

the thing about completing a story is, the finished product won't always look like what you had in mind originally. it's so very common for a writer's plans to be completely derailed, and that's okay! the writing experience is unpredictable, but that's half the fun of it <3 the finished fic might look a bit different than what you set out to write in the first place, but that doesn't make it bad, believe me.

you're the one writing this fic. which means that you're probably going to be reading, and re-reading, and editing and tweaking it over and over again. the reader has the privilege of looking at the finished product, without seeing the struggle and labour that went into it; but you, you've seen every stage of it, from when your fic was just a couple of snippets with a big hole in the middle, that you weren't sure how to fill in just yet, to when it finally looked like a whole story. you've re-read every line and wondered if that was the right phrasing, the right rhythm, if the character's voice felt right or if it was off. you took it apart and put it back together over and over. which is why, your own writing is never going to look perfect to you, especially when you're still in the process of writing your story. but more often than not, when you leave it alone and come back to it after a little while, you'll find yourself thinking: "hey, actually this wasn't half as bad as I thought it was!"

I don't know if any of this is going to help at all, but... if you're struggling with your writing, please know that you're not alone <3 That being said, I hope you do finish the fic you're writing, and I'm looking forward to reading it, because you're amazing and I just know that you're doing a fantastic job, darling <3 Happy writing, my dear!!

[raineydaywrites]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @barry-j-blupjeans (thank you!!!)

tagging @sgrumby and anyone who wants to play!!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

132

2. What's your total A03 word count?

568,150! half a million!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly TAZ Balance and Star Wars (Prequels/TCW era, mostly), but I've written a fair amount for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine in the past, and I'll sometimes write a fic here or there for other fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

They're all Star Wars fics, which makes sense but makes me kind of sad because I love my other fics too. But oh well:

still much that is fair.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Jedi Code, and Other Things That Anakin Has Misunderstood

Take Two

brothers don't let each other wander in the dark alone

growing season (absolutely BLEW MY MIND that this one is in my top five now. It's a one-shot kidfic for a pairing I don't write often?? I'm not used to those getting notes. But I guess it is the Codywan era for prequels fans so I can see where it's coming from.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! But sometimes I don't have the spoons for it. But I love getting comments and want to show my appreciation!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually write super angsty endings! I don't like them. Or, well, actually I do enjoy them sometimes, but IDK, if I'm writing a whole-ass fic, I usually want to make the ending happy!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending

still much that is fair! which is wild because it has one of the angstiest premises I've ever written (suicide attempt that all loved ones believed to be successful, ends with characters giving each other hugs and 'love yous' and closure)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Rarely. Every once in a while. Sometimes people don't like me writing autistic headcanons or characters mentioning pronouns.

9. Do you write smut?

No. I'm not opposed to it in fic, but it doesn't interest me.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, but I'll read them sometimes. I'm not opposed to writing them, but I've never really gotten an idea for one that inspires me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I did once have someone warn me that my fic was 're-posted' to ao3 back in the days when I was still posting on both ffnet and ao3 with different usernames.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, actually, though I forgot about it until asked! It's not one I ever posted. I co-wrote a Maximum Ride fic with a friend in middle school, lol. But I'd love to co-write again in the future! It's fun to talk about ideas with friends.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

All-time favorite ship is SO hard for me because I'm a multishipper and I flipflop fandoms a lot, so I kind of default to my first (and still beloved) ship: Janeway/Chakotay from Star Trek: Voyager. I'm also gonna answer for my two main fandoms atm: Star Wars is Obi-Wan/Satine and TAZ Balance is Barry Bluejeans/Lup/Lucretia, because I love a good polycule. Also Barry and Lup on their own are great but they remind me too much of my parents to really go wild over them.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Be My Brother's Keeper. A Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's daughter AU. I love that one and I had PLANS for it, but my Marvel days are so long gone.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at coming up with creative, unique ideas and making them work!! People often say that they didn't expect to like my fics from the premise but enjoyed them anyway. :3 I'm also good at character interactions and emotions

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing things, mainly visual things that are happening. They're just there, in the fanfic, not in a physical location to me. Also staying motivated to finish writing and avoiding derailing my own ideas with wanting to include EVERYTHING.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't done it before but I'm not opposed!

19. fandom you wrote for?

Like, first fandom? Nancy Drew. I wrote a Nancy Drew fanfic when I was eight years old on looseleaf notebook paper, before I knew that anyone else wrote fanfic. In it, Nancy fell down a hole, broke her leg, everyone who loved her thought she was dead and they were all soso sad, but then they found her and it ended happily. My tastes have not evolved much since, but my writing ability has!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Changes often! Currently it is The Parent Trap(ped in an Umbrella) but I'm also quite fond of Still Much That Is Fair and one more last try, I'm gonna get the ending right.

[amethystina]

Hi <3

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about "Gravitational Pull"? Answer it now!

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about "Who Holds the Devil"? Answer it now!

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

I hope you are okay and have a lovely day/night <3

Hi! 💜

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about "Gravitational Pull"? Answer it now!

I honestly have no idea. But to avoid this being the most boring answer to a question ever, I guess I can explain that Gravitational Pull was only meant to be a stand-alone fic at first but, as time passed, I realised how tempting it was to keep going with a series of connected "What if" fics where I basically wreck the canon.

Apparently, making Yo Han and Ga On kiss in episode 13 can throw everything out of whack if you want it to.

There will be five fics in total if my plan holds up (fingers crossed?) and will basically feature the rest of episodes 13-16 of the drama. Except each fic will have one, big "What if" scenario slapped onto it which will change the events considerably. And, obviously, also change the events that will take place in the coming instalments.

I'll basically be pushing a bigger and bigger snowball of canon divergences as I move along until I eventually reach the end. And who knows what that ending will entail?

(Why am I doing this again?)

Anyway, in the next one, the "What if" scenario is: "What if Ga On gets shot instead of Soo Hyun?" and the one after that is: "What if Ga On can derail Kim Choong Sik's execution without telling everyone that the Live Court Show is fake?" and so on and so forth.

And they will be posted as separate fics, not additional chapters to Gravitational Pull, since they will all have slightly different themes and focus. It just felt more reasonable from a narrative and storytelling standpoint to post them separately.

And, naturally, the one I look forward to writing the most is the fifth one — because fuck my life x'D

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about "Who Holds the Devil"? Answer it now!

This is just as difficult as the first one, if not more so because, uh, there's a lot to talk about when it comes to Who Holds the Devil. But a lot of it I say in my author's notes already so it's kind of hard to pinpoint something I haven't already said xD

But here's a fun fact: The most difficult chapter to write so far was Chapter 1. There have been difficult chapters since then, especially those that are emotionally heavy or, more recently, demand a certain level of suspense, but none were as difficult as that first one. Partly because I had to restructure it three times before I got it right. The very first draft actually jumped straight to Ga On getting the text from Elijah but I realised that didn't give it enough impact, so I basically rewrote the entire thing two times until I was satisfied.

And, admittedly, it also took me a while to get Ga On's voice right. Or, rather, to let myself write him the way I instinctively tried to do but my brain kept second-guessing. Partly because he was a new character to me (which is always daunting) but also because the style is a little different from how I usually write. My writing is always pretty descriptive, but Ga On takes it to a whole new level x'D Especially where emotions and impressions are concerned. It's all very visceral and that threw me for a second. Not to mention that a lot of it seems to rely on repetition, which most people are taught is a bad way to write. So there was a lot to get used to.

And, quite honestly, I almost stopped writing the DAY after I had started x'D I felt so out of depth and everything was new and strange and I was so nervous about writing a story set in a country and culture I don't actually know (that still makes me panic every now and then) and... yeah. Just a lot of anxiety there at the beginning.

Thankfully, a lot of it has settled by now and I feel a lot more confident about both the writing itself and my characterisation. And that's no doubt why the first chapter will always be the most difficult one I had to write, since it was the one that gave me the most anxiety.

The second most difficult chapter to write was Chapter 23, because I was injured and also couldn't decide on what I was actually writing so the chapter became an unstructured, unstable mess and I almost had to completely rewrite it. And the third most difficult was Chapter 25 because of the sheer level of pain, anxiety, and grief Ga On goes through. The fact that my grandad died while I was working on it definitely didn't help, either.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

I'm so bad at this question that soon I'm going to have to start picking obscure Swedish songs that the majority of you won't understand and just hope you don't call me out on the weird choice xD

Anyway, jokes aside. I answered this question in this ask but, if I have to pick another song, I'll go with There's a Rock by Brolle (or Brolle Jr as he was going by at the time). It's a duet he sings with Frida Snell and I was reminded of how much I love it two weeks ago.

So I'm picking that, not necessarily because it has the most spot-on lyrics, but because it's a song I genuinely love.

(Fun fact: My big sister went to the same high school (-ish, the school system is different in Sweden) as Brolle but he graduated the year before she got there. So her only claim to fame is that she stole his chair when she visited the school for an open house/school tour before actually applying for it)

Questions for fic writers

[fourohfourlifenotfound]

2024 is officially dead and gone, so let's take a moment to celebrate everything I accomplished (and mourn everything I didn't).

2024 Goals - Results

1. Explore [City I’m living in for the next 4 months] ✅

This was a lot of fun to do! I dragged my roommate and my friends out with me a few times and I really made the most of it. It was a little sad to discover things that I don't have where I am now (Vietnamese coffee, god DAMN) but I will cherish those memories that marked the end of my senior year of college.

2. Write + post “damn, baby, you’ve got me good” (series of klance 5+1 fics I’ve been working on) ✅

I did it! It went well! This took a lot out of me but I'm really glad I did it. If you're interested, you can read it on my AO3.

3. Tat (lacemaking tecnique) a necklace ✅

I did! I forgot to post pictures of it and I'm try not to derail my workflow (it is RAPIDLY approaching 3am for me) but maybe I'll try to at some point. I turned out okay, a simple white lace strip with rainbow beads.

4. Do more sourdough (pancakes, bagels, pretzels) ✅

I didn't do the pretzels, but I did the rest! The pancakes became a staple for my breakfasts, there was a mediocre attempt at pizza dough, and I made some edible bagels and (after 2 failed attempts) learned how to slice bagels without cutting my own hand!

5. Finish my temperature blanket ✅

I finished the whole blanket, and have been using it as a throw blanket for naps in my new apartment! I also made a whole separate blanket! You can see them on my dw blog

6. Bind more of “The Blonde Collection” (my project to bind my favorite works by leblonde) ❌

I failed to do this, between not having access to a printer yet after moving and my health issues getting in the way. But I hope to pick this project back up in 2025!

7. Write (at least part of) “it takes three to play catan” (working title for my giant Keith/Lance/Hunk fic) ✅

I did this.... barely! I just finished the outline a couple days ago (after working on it for over a year and a half!!) and filled a FFF prompt that fit the first chapter on a whim! You can read more about my plans for this project on my tumblr

8. Organize something ✅

Considering I moved states and had to organize my entire apartment, we're counting this done.

9. Read 75 books✅

I smashed this one out of the water! I completed 83 books this year!

10. Curate a more positive internet experience) ❌

Considering how 2024 has been, I think I'm allowed to fail this one and get in fights with a couple redditors, okay?

2024 Hobbies "Wrapped" According to my dreamwidth updates, here's everything I accomplished towards my hobbies this year:

15h 24m Tunisian crochet

104h 46m crochet

25h 38m tatting

92h 40m writing 94,653 words (17wpm average)

83 books read

29 movies, 3 musicals, and 13 shows watched

19 Flash Fiction Friday prompts completed

14 fics posted to my AO3

17 crafts completed

31 baked goods made

Okay here's my

2024 Goals

Hooray!!

Explore [City I'm living in for the next 4 months]

Write + post "damn, baby, you've got me good" (series of klance 5+1 fics I've been working on)

Tat (lacemaking tecnique) a necklace

Do more sourdough (pancakes, bagels, pretzels)

Finish my temperature blanket

Bind more of "The Blonde Collection" (my project to bind my favorite works by leblonde)

Write (at least part of) "it takes three to play catan" (working title for my giant Keith/Lance/Hunk fic)

Organize something

Read 75 books

Curate a more positive internet experience

[panics-side-blog]

New cycle

Part:1 (??)

Small edit: decide to update the story once a month about mid-end of the month to be exact. Maybe i will sprinkle 2 chapters per month as a treat if i feel like it :)

I really really tried to not do a fanfic because I'm terrible at finishing shit i started. But damn bro i want some slow burn-ish comfort-ish fanfic where reader is autistic coded and them pulling a bad bitch (Soundwave and maybe shockwave) by being autistic.

Bc like, there are no fics i found who have an autistic coded reader?? And that's a fucking crime. Especially when their with the king of autism,Soundwave, who clearly got some sort of Cybertronian Version of it. /hj

This story is probably going to be darker. Dealing with mental health issues and unhealthy obsession(??). Maybe gonna have some smut later on but idk

I will try to not make the reader x Soundwave Stockholm syndrome-y because i want a happy consensual relationship. I still try to figure out how i will make it from here to there but, eh we will see, i have a plan just don't know how to execute it right.

I procrastinate a lot so i don't even know how far I will go. No promises!

Also like i am really insecure about my writing because i know i tend to write sloppy sentences that derail a lot but i hope you all still can enjoy it :))

reader is gender neutral ❤️ (and human)

Tw for this chapter: clear signs of mental health issues, trauma flashback, mention of puke and eating disorder (not related) Panic attack/ autistic meltdown and blacking out.

Also English is not my first language so please keep it in mind. Thank you :))

Today was the day you told yourself, "Today I will go outside," you said, yet you have been standing in front of the door of the hallway for almost two hours. Your shoes and socks feel like they have creeped into your skin, the t-shirt you wore feels itchy and heavy, and your hair that slipped into your collar makes you almost lose your mind.

The sun that shone inside your dark room was slowly going down, a slight red and pink already weaving itself into the sky. But there were still a lot of people outside; you could hear them talking even though your windows were sealed shut.

Everything around you appears to be too much: the way you can hear your own pulse in your ears; the way your bones feel inside your gross, soft, meaty body;the lingering smell of the food you cooked two days ago; and your eyes strained from the light.

You felt like crying. Yet again, you didn't go outside. Yet again, your fear  whatever imaginary threat might be waiting for you in the overstimulation of the outer world. It was just too much for you, to the point that the thought alone almost made you have a meltdown.

But you promised yourself to go outside, at least to the ice cream shop a few blocks away. You heard the ice cream they had was really good, so you wanted to take a look. It's not that far away, you think to yourself, about a 15-minute walk. But these few minutes were still too much. Hell, that you even stood in front of the hallway door was a miracle all by itself. Hot tears begin to form and roll down your cheeks. How long have you been isolating yourself now? Almost a whole year, a whole year with barely any human interaction, a whole year you almost slept through, a whole year of nothing. Just your white fall and the music coming from your headphones. Your body, with its physical needs, feels at this point more like a burden than anything else.

It's not the first time this has happened, and it makes you feel like shit. You are wasting your life in your home, which has become more of a prison, but this prison is the only thing that feels somewhat safe. A place that makes you feel in control, where nothing changes without your permission. It's the only thing that gives you a tiny bit of comfort.

" It's alright, you're doing great! Don't be so hard on yourself! "

The voice of a past friend echoed inside your brain. But even those motivating words of affirmation they always spoke out didn't help you. You still feel like a failure. You don't have a job; you live off of your guardian's money and have lost all contact with the few friends you have. You didn't finish high school due to massive stress and mental health issues. Hell, you didn't even manage to make friends after losing your older one, or even talk to your neighbor next door once. They probably think you died here. It doesn't help that you leave the dirty dishes to soak for weeks because you don't have enough energy to clean them up. So it sometimes smells like a rat died in there.

What you would rather do is sleep some more. At least your dreams give you a beautiful world full of adventures where everything is right and you do not need to fear anything. where everything is perfect and you don't have to worry about a thing. Living in a small cottage somewhere far away but still close enough to your imaginary friends. With a pretty garden and colorful birds greeting you every morning, while big,strong,warm arms are wrapped protectively around you by your dream lover. But every time you wake up, you get an ugly reminder of how grey and full of disappointment your life is.

Another hour has passed, and the ice cream shop is most likely closed now. Only the small market that is a bit further away should still be open. They too got some good snacks, but honestly, even food can't motivate you anymore. You're so aware of how it feels on your tongue and slides down your throat that just thinking about it makes you gag. The presence of it already makes you feel ill and icky. You wish you didn't have to drink or eat, but you know it's not good.

Oh, you know so much, yet you do the exact opposite of what said knowledge actually tells you.

The sun has almost vanished at this point. Most people are inside, the street lights are on, and only the sounds of the few leaves that are still on the trees can be heard. You would go out now if you weren't terribly scared of the dark. But as your brain made you imagine how the cool winter night would taste on the tip of your tongue, you couldn't resist anymore. Especially with the way the snow makes this funny, crisp noise. Your hand takes the door handle and slowly moves it down. You take your first step and the cool air already strikes your face with such an intensity you haven't felt in ages.

It made you remember those days when you were a child and you ran around for hours making snow angels.

The steps under your feet made a satisfying crunching noise, and you had to control yourself to not flap your hands around in excitement. Carefully, you close the door and lock it. You look up as you walk further down the street, not having a destination, or rather forgetting it, the gorgeous night sky making you forget your worries. How clear it was and how bright the stars shone. And not a person around to ruin this moment. The sudden feeling of long-lost childhood memories crashing into your brain caused you to make tiny bunny hops, excitedly giggling.

A flashback at this moment in time was one of the last things you wanted right now, but yet, you zoned out.

Memories flooded your mind; some were pleasant, but others quickly turned bitter as they became contaminated with other things. Everything around you is barely existent anymore. You only have in front of your eyes how you cried out as a small child, freezing, calling out for your parents but nobody answering. Sniffling, rubbing your tiny red hands together in hopes of getting warm; clothes way too thin and soaking wet because you walked over some ice that couldn't hold your weight.

You were so deep in thought you didn't hear how an aircraft came dangerously close to you or how the rumbling of a semi truck came speeding towards your frozen form.

You got ripped out of your thoughts, which also happened to your body, as something grabbed you from the sidewalk. Everything happened so fast. Your brain  trying to process whatever just happened, coming back from whatever deep dark depths it stayed in.

Your vision is too blurry due to tears that formed without your realization.

You only hear loud screeching and rumbling from an engine. A deep voice that made your very core shake called out, but you couldn't make out what it said. Your wide eyes looked up to see what was holding you.

The tears were rubbed away by the sleeves to make it clearer. You couldn't believe what you saw; a man made out of metal who had a few body parts that reminded you of a heavy and big truck. And close to them was another humanoid machine with wings. It all looked like a bad action movie.

The loud crashing noises of metal trashing against each other hurt your brain; their echo lingers way too long for comfort. How do the people from your small town not get alerted by all the noise?

You heard another strange noise near by, and then a blue, much smaller mech joined in. They jump up high, kicking whatever live form that was in front of you on the head, knocking it down. It tried to stand back up, but the blue machine gave it a brutal beat down, scratching its purple paint clean off of its chest.

But the sudden fight stopped without warning.

The bigger one who held you is running away and making this strange noise you heard earlier. Everything around you began to shake, and you blacked out for a second. You wish you could remember exactly what happened, but the way you hit metal with your head was too strong. The holes filling your memory spread like a plague, and the longer you try to think about it, the more it vanishes, like some type of maggot devouring it like it's their last meal.

But you soon come fully into your senses. As you realized your surroundings didn't look familiar, you panicked, opening your mouth trying to scream, but nothing came out.

"Ti--ou-t,"

A voice called out, but your ears were still ringing loudly due to the collision earlier.

"What?" you whisper back to whatever voice was trying to free you from your fearful frenzy. As you move nervously around trying to open the door,

"Tiny-uman-ou-ar-ight,"

You look at the steering wheel in confusion. What is happening? This can't be real! Where does the voice come from? Oh, please let this be a bad dream! I knew I should've stayed inside!! The thought of just taking this magically moving steering wheel came to mind as the pulling on the door became more intense. But, you can't drive, so your cramped up fingers didn't even dare to touch it.

"Are you okay, tiny human?"

The voice, finally now clear, was deep and smooth, like thick honey. It would have been comforting in any other scenario.

You want to ask who is there and what they are, but your body fails you. After an awkward silence, the voice spoke again.

"You are probably very confused and scared. My apologies to humans. My name is Optimus Prime, and we "

"Optimus? I-,,, are-,,,is-? truck?"

You clumsily said,

"Indeed, as I wanted to explain, we saved you from an attack by the Desepticons. My partner Arcee is still fighting off their Vehicon in order for us to escape safely. "

You just looked in disbelief at the speaking machine. At least, that's what you believe based on Optimus' reaction.

"I'm deeply sorry for this situation, but I can assure you that you are safe now and have nothing to fear. Me and my team will take you under our protection. "

" Can I-can I go home then? I'm sure whatever attacked is surely gone, right? "

You say, with a nervous smile, sweat building up on your forehead, your body all of a sudden feeling very hot.

" For whatever reason yet to be explained, the Desepticons found out where you live, and for whatever reason yet to be explained, they are fixated on you. That's why they tried to kidnap you."

"Kidnap!! No, this can't be happening. Surely you're just joking. Surely this is all just a terrific nightmare! "

You feel as if your heart has sunk to the bottom of the earth. Breathing has become more erratic.

" I'm sorry, tiny human, but it isn't. In order to insure your safety, you have to stay with us until we find another safe hideout for you. "

You just stayed silent and leaned back into the seat, still not believing what had just occurred. You looked outside; nothing but rocks and hills, going further and further away from your home. It's dark and the big sky now feels not as pretty and comforting as before. The wide and empty steppe made you feel tiny and vulnerable.

Bright lights appeared from your side of the window. A blue bike without a driver soon joined in.

"Are they all right, Optimus?"

They asked, their voices soft yet stern and serious.

"Yes, but they seem to be under shock. I already did an intercom with Ratchet to check their vitals".

You sobbed quietly, not wanting them to hear you. Hands flexing and soon balling into fists hit your thighs gently, desperately trying to regulate your emotions. But you can feel how a panic attack and meltdown crawl up your rips, holding your heart with its disgustingly cold, frost-bitten giving hands. It is clawing at it like some sort of toy that it wants to break. And soon, this toy popped.

Your head is spinning, your breathing has no rhythm, and the bit of food you had is coming back up with some stomach acid. No, this is something you can't get out of. The more gentle-ish hitting became violent. Your body begins to sway back and forth. You started to claw at your jacket, trying to rip it away from your body. Everything feels way too hot and sticky. Your nails are digging into your skin, giving it an ugly red line. Tears and snot form. Puke spills little by little from your lips as the erratic movements become violent.

Until your brain couldn't handle it anymore and pulled the plug. Your body thumped itself one more time against the leather seat. Your hands were hitting your head and clawing at your hair for the last time, until everything went black.

You hate the feeling of falling unconscious; it's weirdly light, like when you sit on an airplane and it starts to fly off, just instead of it flying straight up, it goes in circles.

You desperately want to wake up in your cozy bed, with your headphones next to you, playing your comfort playlist to help you fall asleep. But it won't. Something inside of you knows that nothing will be the same. A part of you is happy that this disfigured devil cycle has been broken; another is very, very scared. You are uncertain about your wellbeing and do not know what will come next for you.

And having to hide from whatever those things are, those ginormous, sentient metal beings who, for whatever reason, have it out for you?

What did you even do that peaked their interest? Did you make them angry? You'd hoped not.

[gittetj]

-CHAPTER 16 OF THE END OF THE WORLD SPOILERS - NOT SURE IF IT'S NECESSARY BUT IT JUST FEELS RIGHT-

I feel like there are others curious about this as well, but what was your thought process behind the kiss scene? Did you think of it when you were just planning out the story or did it come up later? Did the idea surprise/terrify you at first? (i'm beginning to sound like i'm obsessed with it but it's just the last thing i expected of the fic so it delights me endlessly lol) It would actually be cool to know more about the trials and tribulations of how the writing process for the whole chapter went, so if you're willing to share, pleaseee?

(also a random one, but how old is ootsuki?)

Ootsuki is 23. I'll put the rest under the cut~

The kiss was actually something I decided on very early and then debated whether I should get rid of a million times, because yeah, it's out of my comfort zone to write about teenage (non-)romance, and it's so at risk of being taken the wrong way in several different ways. If I hadn't had 3 people with very different perspectives beta-read it and tell me they got what I was going for, I probably would've found some lame way to chicken out of it.

Anyway, the reason I decided to go down that route was that I have a rule that every canon scene with Shou must go in the fic. By no means do you have to make adaptations that way, and there are things later on I'll twist a bit, but I like rules and challenges, so there.

This meant I had to do something with that fucking maid café scene, which, let's be frank, is very gay. It's a weak joke and has no purpose other than to be gay fan service. So what can you do with that? I could either pretend it isn't gay and didn't happen (glaring at ONE here), I could lean into it and make it the start of something romantic, which would derail the themes of this particular story, or I could use it to support my points about all manner of relationships often being weird and difficult and full of mistakes that are sometimes forgivable and sometimes not.

Shou and Ritsu try to figure out if it's a big deal to kiss someone, but there are other more or less explicitly romantic-leaning relationships in this fic, none of which feature any kissing, and meanwhile the person who is the most blatantly physically affectionate with Shou is so in a way that's 100% platonic, and meanwhile, I've given Shou very strange reactions to multiple of the grown-ups in his life which, on a surface-level, you'll often find in fanfic/young adult fiction as cues that something romantic is going on (blushing, stuttering, general awkwardness) although I sincerely hope it's clear that's not where I'm going with that either. I don't know, I just find it very interesting to dig my claws into that whole mess.

But you asked about the writing process, and it wasn't really the kiss that forced me to rewrite chapter 16 like 8 times, but rather that A) I knew Okura had to be in the chapter, but wasn't sure how to use him, and B) I had to construct a scenario where Ritsu would not flip the fuck out and never talk to Shou again after being told about the burning dummy corpses. (Also a lot of other things I don't remember anymore since some of those rewrites happened long ago)

When you have long chapters like this, if you want it to feel cohesive and avoid mood whiplash, you have to pick one high tension point that everything else can build up to. In this one, I wanted the kiss to be that point, which was really fucking difficult with so much other drama happening around it. I don't have enough experience with writing to have a great feel for these things when I have to write them myself, so it was a loop of trying one approach, asking someone, "does it work now?", them saying no and making some suggestions, rinse and repeat.

[sokkathebluewolf]

A review Why you do that? Making Sokka mention 28 in his vows now everyone think he slept around after the best time of his life? They both dont deserve this June slaves Hina Tylee now this Please don't make more girls fall for him involve with him feels like the whole fic turned around this Haru deserves better Tylee is flirting around

Don't get me wrong This is your fic and you can do anything you feel fit I'm merely giving an opinion ''cause Gladiator has things which you handled the best There is a Reason for this success I just hope this plus 1 girl thing in Sokkla relationship Stops But I always respect you with your great work(:

You do realize how utterly laughable it is to tell me “DON’T MAKE MORE GIRLS FALL FOR HIM IT FEELS LIKE THE WHOLE FIC IS TURNING AROUND” and then say “you can do anything you feel fit, I respect your work (:”, right?

This is not respect. This is not “constructive criticism”. This is not an opinion so important and valuable that it warrants being repeated about a million times across A YEAR. Most people? They give out their opinions, negative or positive, ONE TIME, and leave it be, because what matters to them is CONVEYING how they feel, not forcing a writer to constantly explain themselves or write whatever they would be comfortable with. Actually? Most people who have given me negative opinions so far have been like that, except one guy who was outright flaming my story because he wanted to wank to it, and he couldn’t believe he had to read 97 chapters to finally reach the smut. That I’m comparing you to this reader and reviewer is PROBABLY a bad sign, don’t you think?

Sokka didn’t MENTION 28: Sokka acknowledged his past mistakes because he’s a grown man who knows to feel remorse when he hurts people he loves. That he brings up having hurt her, to this day, isn’t in the purpose of going “HEY HEY AZULA REMEMBER WHEN I BROKE YOUR HEART LOL”, it’s in the purpose of saying: “I’ve learned from my mistakes and, as it has been for YEARS, I will devote myself to NEVER hurting you again”. That, anon, is a PERFECTLY VALID SENTIMENT for a wedding vow, and one that requires far more character growth and complexity than “Lol I’m so happy we were both virgins because that is the only kind of pure love that has ever been valid in the universe, anything else doesn’t count”.

Hell, you’ve literally made me go right back to the chapter to look at what he says, exactly: “I messed things up between us over my damn stupidity”, he... is literally beating himself up about this. To this day. He’s not talking about it proudly. And yet you’re here complaining as though he were?

SPOILER: More people will have feelings for Sokka in future chapters. In fact, I want to make it even MORE people than I’d originally planned after receiving all these asks. I’d rather derail my story into something you can’t stomach reading than cater to you. Azula will outright JOKE about being “jealous” in a future chapter, and Sokka will know it’s a joke! :D And I’m NOT lying about this to mess with you, it IS going to happen and your persistent asks absolutely WON’T make me alter my content. And why is it going to happen, you’ll ask? Why, because nice, charming, charismatic guys like Sokka attract people whether they want to or not. It’s what they DO about attracting others what matters to me! :’) And that Sokka rejects other people who attempt to be with him should be, I think, a much more important message about loyalty to someone you love than “I ONLY EVER ATTRACTED ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE AND MARRIED THEM”. Because I know that’s virtually the only thing you appear willing to accept, going by the first ask.

And holy crap, Ty Lee is... flirting around? Flirting around... with Haru. The guy she’s in a committed relationship with, whom she’s going to marry. The whole situation is meant to be insanely ironic considering Ty Lee is with the guy she SHOULD be with but it looks like it’s something else? (Hell, nobody even KNOWS it was Ty Lee, Mei Xun didn’t stick around long enough to discover the woman’s identity, so her reputation’s actually safe?) But you’re just so emotionally compromised by anything regarding Sokka being with anyone else, even if it’s 1. not true because he’s MILES away, with Azula 2. a joke 3. a plot device for a FUTURE EVENT, that you just can’t grasp this irony at all?

Ty Lee, by design in this story, has ALWAYS been pretty damn liberal about flirting and relationships. Despite we’ve mainly just heard such relationships mentioned on the side, rather than witnessing them directly, she is objectively the cast member who’s had the most relationships, whether serious or casual or just occasional, with other people. And even then, she’s getting married. Even when she’s had so many people in her past, she’s settling down with Haru for good. And Haru? Haru is THRILLED. Because he loves her. Because she loves him. Because HER past does NOT have a single thing to do with THEIR future. And yet you seriously read these chapters, where Ty Lee is having a lot of fun with her fiancé, and your brain just translated this as “OMG TY LEE IS A SLUT HARU DESERVES BETTER!”? Seriously?

I feel like I’m getting asks from a childish version of Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy. Everything that isn’t straightforward needs to be explained point by point, apparently, and even then, you don’t get it. I literally went to literature school and was told to write intelligent fiction so readers would feel compelled to unravel its complexities themselves... apparently that was a big fat lie? :’) Your persistence actually has convinced me that it is.

Oh and, for future reference (because I KNOW you’ll come back, that’s all you ever do): not because you throw compliments at me later to “cushion” your complaint does it mean you’re respecting me and my story. You can’t slap someone in the face and then go “Oh your cheeks are so plump that I bet it doesn’t hurt”. You can’t just disregard my request that you keep these sorts of questions to my PERSONAL blog rather than the fic’s blog, and pretend you respect me. You can’t come to me time after time with the same complaints and attitude, watch how I’ve basically gone from initially responding with discomfort (because, in my personal blog, there are MANY asks that predate yours, where I’d already explained my reasoning to someone else who apparently didn’t get it, which means the subject wears me out, A LOT), then seeing that I started ignoring your asks, then seeing I closed the inbox so I could regain some sense of normalcy in my life that you refused to let me reclaim, and then seeing that I’m answering with outright hostility, and pretend that it’s ME who has a problem. 

If someone I respected responded in any similar manner to ANYTHING I said to them, I’d basically feel like shit and never talk to them again because I don’t want to be a burden or a problem for someone whom I value in any way. You, apparently, would rather be a problem, and to no avail, because all you’re achieving so far is convincing me to continue writing things that will make you riot until you stop reading my story. If you CAN’T stop reading regardless of the horrifying, amoral, dreadful decisions I’ve made? Congratulations: you still don’t have the right to tell me what to do with my story. And until you GENUINELY understand that, your compliments don’t mean anything to me. I have readers I value who have conveyed complaints, MANY TIMES, in an actual respectful manner. Readers who are even bothered by the same thing you are. And yet I’m even FRIENDS with them. Imagine that :’) It’s almost like the problem isn’t having whatever opinion you do... but rather, the intent of IMPOSING your opinion constantly and persistently until you’ve driven me to lash out as bluntly and cruelly as I may! To the point I’m outright saying I’m going to rewrite my story into becoming EVERYTHING you don’t want it to be so you leave me alone!

And if you’re not the one who’s been here for a year, and this is not really an echo chamber (despite all of these messages have the same complaints, wording, tone, format, style, punctuation and grammar mistakes), yet you SAW that other people have been doing this for a long time, and thought it was PERFECTLY FINE to join the party? You’re no less of an asshole than the rest of them. No matter if it’s your first time voicing your “opinion”. Because it’s NOT about what you’re saying: it’s about HOW you’re saying it. It’s about trying to guilt trip me into writing whatever you want and claiming the story is going off the rails because something makes you personally uncomfortable. This is NOT objective criticism. This is SUBJECTIVE, ENTIRELY. This isn’t a real problem in storytelling, it’s a personal problem for you because it clashes with your moral values. And NO ONE is forcing you to continue consuming content that goes against your moral values, you’re choosing to do that yourself.

If you’re to live by any of the words you said in these two asks, make it “This is your fic and you can do anything you feel fit”. Because that’s literally what I’m going to do. It’s what I’ve done over EVERY complaint in poor faith I’ve gotten, ranging from “quit writing so much happiness it’s boring” to “where’s the sex you prude”. And it’s what I intend to continue doing. What kind of criticism do I value? “This particular scene features a factually contradictory line with a previous event”, such as Zuko claiming he never went to Sokka’s house when he in fact did, and I plain and simple FORGOT about it. What more kinds of criticism do I value? “You need to work out the Gladiator League’s system better because it’s not a solid business venture”, and this one was right? And yet it was too late to fix it, despite it’s 100% spot-on and I should’ve worked it out way better than I did. Another? “Sokka may have gotten over the fact that Azula captured him and tossed him in a slave market too easily”, because? It’s a perfectly valid sentiment? I disagree because Sokka is canonically shown to get over grudges relatively quickly, and yet I CAN see why it seems too fast for some people. What else do I value? Maybe suggestions on wording problems! I’ve made a lot of stupid wording mistakes, in virtue of being a non-native speaker. I’ve done my best to amend those, but it’s a work in progress even now.

Point and case being: in literature, and thus, in fanfiction? Constructive criticism isn’t “WRITE WHAT I WANT TO READ BECAUSE I WANT TO BE PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH ALL I CONSUME”. Constructive criticism is given by people who KNOW storytelling. So I’d only consider it constructive criticism if it’s given by people who can read those chapters and see that the ENTIRE purpose of that conflict is to trigger growth and development as both Sokka and Azula realize their own mistakes and shortcomings with each other. So, someone who’s giving actual constructive criticism wouldn’t come to my inbox a million times with the same complaint... someone who’s giving constructive criticism would come to my inbox, ONE TIME, and say “Hey, maybe this alternative to conveying Azula is instinctively jealous over her canonical insecurities about being a monster and earning people’s love and loyalties COULD have been preferable, despite I know you can’t change that anymore as it’s fundamental for your story”, or “Hey, I thought of another way for Sokka to convey that he realized their interest in each other could result in something TERRIBLE if they ever acted on their feelings, a way for him to not act on that specific impulse to flirt with Suki to push away Azula, but to act on ANOTHER, believable, IC Sokka-compliant impulse that might still convey exactly what you needed to”. But again, even if it were complaints like THESE? I can’t change anything anymore. It’s TOO LATE. If I think it’s too late to fix Zuko saying “lol I never went to Sokka’s house” when it’s not true? It’s WAY TOO LATE to rewrite chapters that are over SEVEN years old, and I don’t even want to do it to begin with. But I WOULD concede these criticisms. I would accept them. I wouldn’t consider them offensive to me, or my work, or disrespectful in any way.

Constructive criticism is NOT about forcing an author to agree with you, or to do whatever you ask them to. Constructive criticism is about helping an author convey what they were conveying in a better, smoother way. If you CAN’T understand what the author was conveying? You don’t qualify for offering constructive criticism. If you need explanations as to why the author did anything they did? You’re, again, not qualified to offer constructive criticism. Your criticism, in any such cases, is NOT constructive, no matter what you’re telling yourself. This is a VERY important distinction, and one you can’t pretend isn’t valid just by throwing a bunch of compliments at me after telling me I’m ruining my story.

Until the day you DO understand the difference between constructive criticism, and subjective complaints? Your opinions will not be considered valuable enough to affect my story in a positive way. And the more disrespectful you show yourself, by continuing to disregard my DIRECT request for you to stop coming back with these complaints, as well as the direct request to stop sending these questions to this blog? The less your opinions will count for me. I don’t bend over backwards for anyone. And I’m definitely not going to do it for you.

[phoebelovingcare]

Now, I know the whole 'You're your own worst critic' thing, but c'mon, it's not that well structured, on several occasions I'll come up with a reason to skip a fight scene cause I don't like writing them, the jokes in the narration are overbearing, and I can't help but notice the god awful pacing (Chapter 6 is the biggest offender here, everything moves too fast in that chapter) I mean sure, the character interactions are funny, but that isn't special, I don't see why you like it so much tbh-DoC

It doesn’t matter if I like it! I don’t suppose you want me to tell you that I don’t like it, hm? I’m still working on Chapter 7 so I can respond to your request for a review, but honestly? You kinda nailed any point that I would make right here already. And this is also why I write my entire fics and then post them on a schedule instead. So that I can reread it, decide what I do and don’t like, and change it accordingly. Idk if you read FoS, but chapter nine used to be chapter fifteen. I didn’t like the pacing of it, so I switched things around. Yeah, that means I had to rewrite a LOT. But on the plus side? Now I like reading it. I think that’s worth it.

If you think the jokes are overbearing, dial it back or find a way to make them flow better.

If you don’t like the pacing, consider what you can do to add or subtract time. Does something feel derailed or unrelated? Does it seem like there’s a sudden leap in logic? Adjust accordingly.

Don’t like writing fight scenes? Don’t! Switch around a perspective, make them NOT fight, change it up a bit! Think about what you might want to READ instead!

Mostly I just want you to stop self deprecating - this is an improvement, self critique is important but you can’t just go “i dunno why anyone likes this because of how many flaws it has” - acknowledging the flaws is self critique, saying it is straight up unlikable is self deprecating.