#writing thank you cards literally sucks so much

[idontdrinkgatorade]

I had to write a bunch of thank you cards when I graduated high school and after a while I got so bored I just started drawing in them hoping that was enough lmao

lmao understandable. i'm always at a loss as to what to write inside cards of any kind lol so i mostly just draw in them. the cards i write suck so bad i literally just write the most basic message, doodle something, and maybe write something in a different language to impress them with my "language knowledge" (aka google translate bc i don't remember how to say "happy birthday" in japanese).

[taesancult]

7 minutes in heaven with bnd pls? <3

I FORGOT THIS IN MY DRAFTS 😭 ANONIE IM SO SORRY!! i was actually so excited to write it when i first saw it too 💔 i made it longer on purpose to make up for this being so late!!

smut under the cut. mdni.

sungho: this man is such a wild card to me in this context… however, i could see him being upfront and honest. he sees this as an opportunity to have you, so confidence is not an issue. he probably won’t fuck you right then and there, but use this moment to tease you, or to entice you. he’ll be so mean, teasing you, touching you so close to where you need him, whispering all these dirty things in your ear. he would ultimately start giggling if you beg for him because “now isn’t the time” and would say “i want to take my time with you.” overall, would spend his time driving you insane, kissing you so passionately, acting like he would worship you if he just had more time- (like sir can u just make a mess of me already THANK U!)

jaehyun: too scared to initiate in fear of seeming desperate, but is very much desperate. would practically burst into flames if you initiate. “hey can i suck you off?” “can you WHAT?” he’s looking around frantically, trying to decipher if he heard you correctly or not. “yeah why not!” “WHY NOT?” like you’re so nonchalant about it and he’s mentally freaking out. he cums embarrassingly fast, the whole situation is way too sexually charged that he can’t help himself. from the way your mouth feels on his cock, the way you keep looking up at him with those pretty eyes, the way you compliment him - telling him he sounds so pretty. he would moan out, not being able to control his volume, and it’s heavenly. he IS the guy every girl wants like is moaning without hesitation (although he will be embarrassed about it later, he couldn’t care less in this moment). he would literally be so pent up for no reason. it’s like everything is heightened and he’s spilling into your mouth faster than he wanted to, but you don’t mind. this is just the beginning <3

riwoo: baby boy here is shy at times, but can also be so cocky depending on the scenario. the current situation has him being more confident and relaxed as the way you’re staring at him gives you away; that you want him as much as he wants you. he wouldn’t fuck you in the closet, but he’d be more than willing to have some fun. this is the perfect moment to dry hump, your legs on either side of his hips, grinding down on his hard cock. his hands would be on your waist gripping so tightly as he pushes you onto his body as deeply as possible. the two of you would be so desperate for some fricition. by the end of the 7 minutes,, his hair is a disaster from you pulling at it as you use his body to try to get off and both of you have warm cheeks and are panting. truly a MESS in the best way possible.

taesan: not the biggest fan of quickies or feeling as though he has limited time. HOWEVER! he thinks the whole element of potentially getting caught in a scandalous situation to be super enticing. the thought of some poor soul who has to open the door and alert the two of you that your time is up witnessing you drunk for him is enough to motivate him to have you wrecked in less than the time you have. he would push you against the wall, kissing you before whispering in your ear, “this is about to be the best 7 minutes of your life.” your brain short circuits and he spends that time doing anything and everything to make you an absolute MESS.

leehan: out of pocket. he would randomly ask to finger you. he has his shy moments too (more so in the context of praise), but he can also be so confident. he’s the type to ask directly if he wants something, not really hesitating because why should he? you like him and he likes you, so he doesn’t feel the need to be embarrassed. he’ll literally trap you between his body and the wall, smirking at how you look at him with puppy dog eyes full of want. “so? what do you say? want me to make you cum?” he would ask as he stares into your eyes and all you can do is nod. he would get on his knees, not wasting any time. he would pump his fingers in and out, a wet sound filling the room because your cunt was absolutely drenched for him. “such a wet cunt, maybe next time i’ll get a taste,” he would say as he looks up with you a smile. he’s so filthy with his words it’s insane. he’d finger you so good that you physically wouldn’t be able to stand; your body sliding against the wall in defeat as you fully give into this man’s fingers.

[walpu]

Hello, first of all i want to say i really like your work and your writings 💞 Can i request some sickness headcanons with Aventurine when dating reader? Preferably hcs about how he would act if he was the one sick, and if the reader was sick. Thank you!

Thank you so much 🥹

Hope you'll enjoy it!

sickness headcanons with Aventurine

characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, hurt/comfort, no beta

I think Aven has a weak immune system due to the hardships he faced as a child. It's quite easy for him to catch a cold even if the weather is nice.

Hates it with a burning passion.

I mean it always sucks to be sick but he hates it for a bunch of other reasons as well.

It's time-consuming and he's a busy person, that's what he tells everyone.

And while it's true, the main reason is that he simply hates being so weak and vulnerable.

He has a private doctor who treats him but Aven doesn't fully trust them either.

He usually just takes his meds and tries to walk it off. Not like he can afford to take a day-off anyway.

When the two of you start dating and you notice that he doesn't feel well, he would try to brush it off. No big deal, baby. Just a bit tired. If we cuddle I'll get better <З

He trusts you, he truly does. However, it doesn't mean he wants you to see him miserable, weak and with a red stiffy nose. He doesn't like this image of himself so what if you won't like it either?

If he has a fever he will try to distance himself from you. Doesn't want you to get seek as well, he truly doesn't wish to be a cause of your discomfort.

Plus, what good can he give you when he's like that anyway? A bit off-topic but I just keep thinking about his "you can use me however you want me even betray me <З" line and his lunar new year card where he's like "yeahhh if you spend the day with me you'll be lucky for the rest of the year soooo" babygirl i promise you don't need to bribe me or be convenient just to have some company

Would never refuse your care though. Simply can't do it, he's a weak weak man. May whine a bit at the beginning, trying to convince you that this is not necessary, but as soon as you sooth him and maybe kiss his forehead he gives up completely.

Suddenly forgets all about the possibility of you getting sick if you keep being too close to him, will cling to you like a kitten.

"Your cuddles are the best medicine~" my ass.

Would follow all of your instructions even if they're questionable.

Wants to be spoon-fed too. Anddd tuck him in. And kiss his forehead. And stay by his side until he falls asleep.

He's needy okay. He never had anyone who would care for him when he's so weak so he cherishes every moment. May even get a bit upset when he's feeling better.

Would ask you to look after him for a few more days juts to make sure he's 10000% okay. Keep dotting on his tho because what if he'll get sick again because of the lack of cuddles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're the one who's seek he'll overreact.

Like even if it's the smallest thing, he'll insist on calling his own private doctor to check on you.

You're the best thing in his life, his promised dawn. Of course he'll look after you. Even if looking after you means being a clingy mother hen.

No excuses, he'll take care of you. Even if you have seen worse. Even if you're very busy. Even if it's not that big of a deal.

The problem is. He's never looked after a sick person before.

His every attempt to nurse you back to health is overwhelming. Tries every single method he can find in the internet so please stop him if needed.

Insists on cuddling you all of the time. Generally tries to do everything you do for him when he's sick since you're literally his only example.

If you receive too many work-related phone calls from someone he would not hesitate to pick up the phone before you and say that yeah y/n is busy right now, they are sick, so the optimal solution would be for the caller to deal with their own problems, surely they are not so helpless to rely on a sick person to do everything for them :)

Just wants for you to be alright as soon as possible.

[theweirdwideweb]

we want the work blowout deets

I'll give you the tea but it will be lengthy and I'm going to cry.

Thank you for asking anon. To be honest with you I've been crying in bed about it for the past couple hours. I stood up just now and went to the bathroom and saw two big wet patches on my smiley face tshirt and it sucks so much. I'm so sad.

I could really use some feedback on this situation to be honest. OK. So the long story short is that I got a new supervisor a year ago and my work life has been hell ever since. First off, she doesn't understand what I do. She's never done my job. And she is THE micromanager from hell. For the first 7 months of the year she had me turning in a time card every week showing everything I did down to 5 minute increments. I turn the spreadsheet in on Friday, then every Monday we'd have a meeting where she'd tell me she just doesn't understand how I use my time. Why did it take so long to do X amount of invoices? She estimates it should take 2 minutes per invoice, but it took me 4 minutes per invoice. Like I said she knows nothing about my job and as many times as I've explained it she still "doesn't get it." It was demoralizing, nerve wracking, and frankly so insulting to my competence that I went to her boss (my old supervisor who I love). When she did nothing I went to HR with serious concerns about discrimination----it's no coincidence that I was granted some medical leave at the beginning of the year to address mental health concerns.

Yada yada yada, we made some changes and I don't have to turn in the spreadsheet anymore, but she is still making me email her every week with a list of tasks I didn't complete from the week before. It's still insulting but at least she agreed I'd only have to do it for another 3 months. Actually she said 1 month, but she's such a bitch that by the next HR meeting she claimed she never said 1 month and switched it to 3 months. She's a fucking moron, reader. She's dead fucking stupid. I really can't stress that enough. Dumb. It took her 15 years to get the position I got within 3 years of starting. The only reason she's where she is is seniority, personal relationships with management, and being a fucking bully. A dumb bully! Telling you how to prioritize your work! She's accused me recently of being unprepared for a meeting---a meeting that I hosted, provided all the material for, wrote all the notes on, fleshing out a new process she told me to start implementing but had zero idea how. She just tosses ideas at me and I'm left to figure out any kind of practical way to do it because---AGAIN---she doesn't know how to do my job. There've been other things too. She's a sneak humiliator. She's a button pusher. She's a moron. A big fat ugly moron who looks like Roz from Monster's Inc.

So on Thursday at 4:30pm, end of the day, suddenly a meeting with HR and this cunt appears on my calendar for 10am Friday (yesterday). I'm like---well here we go. She's either going to fire me or put me on a formal PIP. I'll be honest with you, I'd already decided to quit but I was holding out for my bonus in December. I entered the meeting feeling tranquil. I thought, "Do it. Pull the trigger. I'm ready for the end. Just fire me. Let me go. Release me."

But when the meeting starts it's just a touch base with our HR rep to see how everything is going. Are YOU fucking KIDDING me. Anyone would have thought the same thing I did. Of all the things my supervisor sucks dicks at, communication is the worst of all. She can't even spell. She can't string a sentence together. I mean it's shocking she writes at like a 6th grade level. I've seen emails she sent that are so garbled they are literally incomprehensible.

So I'm PISSED. I express how nerve-wracking the previous evening and all morning had been. We're off to a great start. She lets me know she's going to try to end the email process early. OK good. She tells me she's concerned because I haven't been providing personal feedback to her when prompted. Easy enough to explain: I hate your fucking guts, I'm trying to be a grey rock until I can quit. But I can't say that so I'm just like Alright.

Now here comes the bullshit! 1) She now wants me to ask permission in advance to work on weekends. I'm so overworked and stressed out I work like every weekend and now she wants me to ask her permission for the privilege of working on my day off. Guess who's never working a weekend for this company again. 2) The emails that just contain a list of tasks, right? Was 1 month, now 3 months, etc. She also changed the rules so that I have to provide a count of all the claims I processed across multiple platforms. And well---she just doesn't understand how I processed X number of claims and it took this long. In fact, she said, she counts 8 hours reported on my timecard she can't account for last week.

I lost it. I was openly hostile and belligerent. Fuck this fucking bitch. I cannot work for this vile idiot anymore. I actually used my IRL voice to poke holes in what she was saying and pointing out how fucking stupid it all is. Then she comes at me for not respecting her authority. As a reminder, just minutes before she'd complained about me having no feedback for her.

I left the meeting by refusing offers for additional time with the HR rep. I was in no place. I barely worked the rest of the day I was so upset and I didn't send my email, didn't complete my tasks, and didn't ask her permission to finish it up on the weekend (lol). I don't have another job lined up but this is the last time she's going to question whether I'm just straight up lying on my timecard or some kind of moron. That's it. This is her 100th strike for me.

Now here's why I'm so conflicted. 1) My previous supervisor (now my boss's boss) is going on a leave of absence like THIS WEEK for about a month and a half to treat her cancer. I care about her very much. I don't want to stress her out at the last second like this. 2) My bitch boss is also having a sudden serious health problem requiring her to be at the hospital multiple times a week. 3) On top of that, this stupid fucking cow has to take over my boss's boss's work while she's out for cancer. 4) They are absolutely fucked without me. For me to leave right now is a disaster. Add to that---the one person I manage and have a 100% rock solid relationship straight up told me that she's going to quit at some point and that if I quit she's walking out right behind me. She said this to me unprompted and I discouraged her from quitting. 5) I have a heart. The boss and the boss's boss are both having life problems that are more important than work. I think it's immoral to leave them in the lurch right now. They have serious health problems. As much as I hate my boss, at one point we were friends. My heart is breaking.

So I'm crying in bed. I can't live this way anymore. Toxic work stress has taken over my life. I get so miserable, but then some days it's just a job. It's a job I know how to do. I've been here 6 years. The health insurance is spectacular. I've got nothing lined up. I have adequate savings to get through a couple months of unemployment, but it's no guarantee I'll find a position that suits me in that timeframe. I have all these personal relationships at work (a mistake I will not repeat). I've let this job become part of my identity. I'm getting older. I'm 37 and I'm tired and I'm crazy and I just want peace. This position is fully remote---what if the next guy makes me work in person? My whole life will change. I just want this job to work like it has been for the 5 years before she took over. I'm so sad. I've felt this way so many times.

I want to quit first thing Monday. But I want to offer them the option of staying on until good boss gets back from cancer leave, so long as I don't have to work with illiterate cunt boss any more than is absolutely critical in the meantime. What do you think guys? My heart is breaking.

[madlittlecriminal]

Waiter › Bruce Wayne × Female!Reader [headcanons]

Request: yes! this is two requests in one because i felt like they both went well with each other- from anon 1: Hello 🤗 can you please write jealousy and dating headcanons for Christian Bale Batman? Thank you ❤️

from anon 2: May I request please Bale!Bruce x fem reader are at a restaurant and Bruce catches the waiter checking reader out headcanons and idk like his reaction

Warnings: jealousy, waiter sucks, mention of bruce being a playboy (he dropped that lifestyle for you)

He always loved taking you to places whether they were fancy or casual

Today was a fancy date so you were dressed in a dress that Bruce bought you.

If he was being honest, you looked breathtaking

As always obviously

But he wasn't the only one who noticed it.

The waiter did too.

Bruce is a soft lover

He never wanted to jump in unless it was absolutely necessary.

However, this waiter was testing his patience and how fast he could get jealous.

Were you uncomfortable?

Not yet.

He saw it in your body language

"Can I help you?"

Bruce asked.

"Sorry Mr. Wayne."

He apologized before heading off.

The rest of the date would be Bruce making you laugh.

He loves seeing you smile.

Then the waiter would return and Bruce's eye twitched.

Literally, it twitched.

When the waiter put his hand on your shoulder, Bruce had to take deep breaths to relax

You weren't property, but the waiter was just being disrespectful at this point

"Remove your hand from her shoulder. Thank you."

The waiter snickered.

"You're just going to use her. I'll treat her better."

Bruce got up with a chuckle that had no hint of humor.

"Listen pal. I don't care what you've heard of me or what anyone else says of me, but you don't know me. Now get your hand off my girl."

The waiter raised his hands up in defense after dropping the bill on the table.

Bruce put his card on the table before leaving the tip space blank.

"As much as I love you, did you really have to leave the tip blank?"

"Yes...?"

[calcifiedunderland]

Pride and Prejudice: A TWSTed AU

The Keeper of the Underworld: I. Shroud

Introduction, or Pick another route!

Idia x GN Reader (they/them)

Warnings: P&P-level angst and miscommunication, some cringe dialogue, parties, possibly ooc Idia, I wrote this before playing Book 6 so I apologize if there’s any inconsistencies

Notes: The level of overthinking I put into these fics is unreal 💀 First and foremost, thank you all for your patience!! Idia was hard to write, but I hope you enjoy, shrimpies~

———

Well this is certainly something, you thought. Of all the things you’d witnessed at NRC, (even overblots), you didn’t think you’d ever see Idia Shroud at one of Kalim’s parties.

You sipped on your drink when a shock of bright blue flames came in the corner of your eye, contrasting the orange-red of Scarabia. Kalim lead Idia into the dorm, bright and sunny, compared to the look on Idia’s face. Poor guy couldn’t even escape, because Cater and Rook ambled in behind him, chatting happily.

It was like the beginning of a joke: A sultan, a card soldier, a huntsman, and a blue flame-headed gamer walk into a room.

Kalim spotted you and grinned, grabbing Idia’s hoodie sleeve and dragging him over too. “Hey (name)! I’m glad you could make it!”

You smiled at the Scarabia Housewarden, “Thanks Kalim! I-“ At that moment, Jamil reached him to drag him away, mumbling exasperatedly to Kalim about being careful. Kalim laughed Jamil off, “sorry (name)! I’ll see you later, okay?” “Alright then…” you trailed off and turned to Idia, who looked like a deer in headlights.

“So…” you rocked on your heels. To be honest, you didn’t know how to approach him sometimes. Sure, you’d gamed with him a few times (with heavy insistence from Ortho) and you weren’t on his ‘avoid at all costs’ ranking list, but Idia did have his odd moments. Some days, you two would get along like a house on fire. Other times, it was like Idia hated you - avoiding you even in tablet-mode, and ghosting your chats.

You’d like to think that your more friendly moments were the ones that Idia counted, but sometimes it was hard to get a read on the guy.

“I didn’t know that you’d be at Kalim’s party today. I thought Ortho said there was an event in… um…?” You finished, cringing at your vagueness. You might not have known much about the game he played, even though he’d made you play it when you came over to Ignihyde, but you knew he probably didn’t want to be here of all places.

Idia’s hair flared a bit, and he looked resigned and moody. He pulled out his tablet. Ya, the event dropped today but I got mobbed by kalim + the extroverts. “That sucks,” you said, “I got dragged here by Ace. Still, it’s nice to see you.” In the oil lamp lighting, you could’ve sworn Idia’s hair turned a bit pink.

You were both silent, and you opened your mouth to speak when Lilia yelled out from the front, “let’s get this party started!” Kalim started drumming wildly, and then electric guitar swelled. Lilia began screaming heavy-metal-style into the mic. Around you, everyone started dancing, and even you found yourself moving to the rhythm.

You glanced at Idia every now and again, but he looked vaguely annoyed and tired despite the liveliness. He looks so over it, you thought. Probably since Kalim maybe dragged him here. You looked around, biting your lip when you noticed your friends having a grand old time on the dance floor, and kind of wanted to go too. Still, it wasn’t every day you saw Idia, and you wanted to do something with him. Especially since he was… well, here.

“So, Idia…” Idia’s eyes snapped to yours, dull. You rocked back on your feet, “do you dance?” Idia rolled his eyes, and you felt your heart sink, for some reason. Obvi not, id probs distract everyone anyway. And also id just rather not if I can help it. Your smile wavered, “c’mon Idia, anyone can dance, even if it’s not good!” Idia typed rapidly into the tablet, i mean ur not wrong. Like literally anyone can dance but ppl only do it bc its wat normies do.

You opened your mouth, then squared your shoulders, words failing you. Idia shoved a hand into his pockets and opened an app on the tablet, scrolling. You swayed for a bit, feeling awkward while Idia kept his eyes glued to the screen, a frown creasing his brows. Finally you shrugged your shoulders, trying to shake that sinking-feeling off.

You stepped into the crowd of dancing people, swaying to the music and trying not to look over at the blue flames swaying in the corner. Unknowing to you, Idia glanced up from his tablet every few minutes, trying to catch a glimpse of you, before trudging back to the cold chrome of Ignihyde, back to his dorm.

———

Ugh, could this get any worse?

Idia flopped onto his bed, shoving his headphones on and opening the mobile game on his phone. Not only did he get a late start on the game event, but he flubbed a chance to talk to you. Even if you did want to dance like all the other non-introverts at Scarabia. Thank Sevens Ortho didn’t know he missed his chance, otherwise the little robot would’ve torn Idia apart.

Idia shut his eyes and went over the details. Doing this IRL was trash-tier. Why couldn’t this just be a good-old-fashioned otome game, or romance anime? First you meet the love interest, then you find things they’re into, then you talk to them more. Then finally you confess, and cue the outro. He’d watched countless shojo and romance anime’s, and that was the basic outline. Eventually, the ethereal, gorgeous, smart, kind protagonist (aka you) would fall in love with their love interest (aka him) and it would all work out. Boom. Happily ever after.

Ah, yes. He could see it now.

Cherry blossom petals rained around both of you. Where are they coming from, this campus doesn’t grow cherry blossoms? Whatever, don’t question it. Anyway, the petals fluttered past your beautiful, sparkling eyes as you stared up at Idia with adoration and love. Idia stared down at you with full-rizz, kabedoning you against the wall.

“Oh, Idia-senpai!” You’d cry, eyes turning into hearts as sparkles and pink flower petals surround you both. “You’re so cool and not cringe at all! I could never want one of those normies! You’re the only one for me! Please date me!” And then Ortho would set off the heart-shaped fireworks and you two would finally kiss-kiss-fall-in-love, just like the popular anime Our High School Has A Host Club And The Leader Falls In Love With Me?!

“Whee hee hee…” Idia stared off into the distance, giggling ominously to himself and hair turning pink at the ends. His character on the screen went into idle mode, and he didn’t even hear when Ortho floated into the room. “Big brother?” Ortho gently tapped him on the shoulder, yanking him from his shojo daydream. Idia jumped, hair flaring. “AAAIIIIEEEE-“ Ortho jumped back, eyes wide but not detecting any signs of injury on Idia.

Idia breathed heavily, wide-eyed. “Ortho! Wh-when did-? I wasn’t-!” Ortho analyzed his heart beat, noting that Idia had traces of blush on his cheeks and his erratic behavior pointed to- “Were you thinking about (name) (last name)?” Ortho asked innocently, his theory proven when Idia flushed and went pinker. The younger boy suddenly got an idea.

“You know, (Name)’s heart rate goes up when they interact with you,” Ortho watched his brother’s eyes widen, “even when you’re not there, when you’re mentioned, their heart rate increases by 45% and they are more likely to be in a positive mood. 82% of the time, they regard you in a positive way.” His eyes lit up happily with realization, “If my calculations are correct, they have feelings for you!”

Idia sat there, thinking. What were the odds you would like him back? Sure, you made him happy, and more importantly made Ortho happy. And it was actually nice talking to you. And he never felt exhausted after interacting with you. And maybe you did enjoy the artificial light of Ignihyde to the spring sun above, and maybe you would like being with dreary, nerdy him.

Ortho could see his brother lost in thought, noting that Idia’s heart rate spiked when he mentioned you. “I also overheard them telling Grim about finding a partner,” he said casually, omitting that you’d been wanting a partner in Alchemy, and not necessarily a romantic partner.

That seemed to fire Idia up. Ortho could see the metaphorical cogs in Idia’s brain turning, an entire blueprint of a plan being made in his mind. At last, a wide cunning grin spread on his face, and he opened his arms, “well, who else but a genius could be partners with the MC?” He said arrogantly, “it’s not like just anybody can woo the protagonist!”

Ortho beamed, cheering, “all you need to do now is confess!” Idia immediately began sweating, freezing up. “H-huh?!”

——

You frowned at your textbook, rubbing your temples as you read through the alchemy procedure. Ugh, this couldn’t get any more confusing.

As you turned to begin writing, the door burst open. You flinched and immediately locked eyes with a frazzled Idia. His golden eyes were wide, and he was panting - he even looked sweaty. Somehow his blue fire hair seemed just as frazzled as him, looking pale-blue in shock. Could flames somehow look poofy?

“Prefect!” He squeaked. “Idia?” You questioned, what’s he doing here? It was odd that he’d be out of his room at six in the afternoon, not to mention he looked afraid of you. It wasn’t like you were a stranger, even though as of late, he treated you like one.

He stared at you from the door for an uncomfortable amount of time, then sped-walked to stand in front of you. You looked up at him from your seat, tapping your fingers. You awkwardly asked “do you wanna sit down?” He shook his head quickly, the ends of his hair were turning pink. You frowned, “…dude, are you okay?”

Idia flinched. He pivoted on his heel, “no, no, can’t do it, not today-“ he scuttled out of the room and slammed the door, screeching to himself and pulling his hood over his head. You stared at the door, vaguely hearing Idia freaking out to… was that Ortho? You heard the little robot boy’s voice through the door, probably calming Idia down, along with an odd spraying sound.

It went quiet and you assumed they’d left. Whatever, weirder things have happened at NRC. As you went back to writing, the door slammed open again. You jumped, heart beating wildly. Idia stormed over to you, hair blazing a trail behind him. He slammed his hands down on the desk, and your eyes watered with the scent of overpowering cologne bodyspray.

“Prefect! I need to tell you something!” Idia’s eyes steeled in determination, and he looked you dead in the eye. He was breathing heavily, and his flamed hair blazed and curled more than usual, turning deep pinkish-red near the ends. The last time you saw his hair similar to that, was when he was rage-playing during one of your gaming sessions. How pissed is he? You felt your heart leap into your throat.

“Idia,” you began, freaked out, “I think you should sit down-“ Idia blazed on, “this is honestly a horrible decision for you and definitely for me. I don’t even want to think about what Mother and Father would say, not to mention how this’d affect Styx.” He was tunnel visioning now. “Plus you don’t even have magic and this might not even work out anyway ‘cause I don’t see us working out TBH…” Slowly his hair began fizzling out, voice getting quieter and quieter as he mumbled to himself.

This was a terrible idea, Idia realized. After everything that had happened with Styx, not to mention everything you had to deal with personally, it wouldn’t be good to get involved with him. You could be in danger, especially as a non-magic user. No, it would be selfish of him to ask you to be with him. Why would you, anyway? There were other guys at NRC, not to mention the entire Sage’s Island, who would be a better fit for not. Especially ones who didn’t kidnap your friends and Grim. Especially someone like Idia.

No, he concluded. He shouldn’t have come.

You frowned deeply. “Idia, what…?” Your alchemy work definitely wasn’t done yet and Idia was making zero sense. He sighed, as if tired all of a sudden. “Nope, no… this isn’t going to work.” He stood abruptly and sped-walked out the door, brushing past Ortho. You overheard the boy try to get his brother to come back, but Idia didn’t stop. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears. So that’s what this is about? Idia didn’t want to be friends with you anymore? All because you weren’t… what? A tech whiz? Good at gaming? Magical? Your heart dropped. Because you were just too different from him? So you weren’t good enough to be even friends with him?

Your eyes stung at the thought. Fine. If Idia wanted to be that way, then fine. You shoved your books into you bag and headed back to Ramshackle. You doubted you’d be able to focus, anyway.

��——

Poor Ortho was confused.

After running simulation after simulation, scouring the Internet for any clues, and piecing together what Idia said after running out of the classroom, he just couldn’t understand what happened. That was a first, considering it was Ortho.

Idia had ran out of the room in a hurry, mumbling incoherently. “Brother! What’s happening?” Ortho flew to him, scanning his vitals. Idia seemed to be ok, but his brother seemed… strangely melancholic. “Ortho, it won’t work out,” he said dejectedly, not wanting to talk about it.

Ortho called after him, trailing behind “What did (name) (last name) say? There was a high probability they’d accept your-” Idia sighed in exasperation, shaking his head. “It won’t work. I should’ve never left the dorm…” As Idia trudged back to Ignihyde, Ortho was left with more questions.

He hovered for a moment, before heading back to the alchemy room for you, only to not find you there. Ortho thought hard, thinking back to what Idia said. ‘It won’t work out,’ was what he said - not a flat-out rejection from you. So that meant…

He began floating back to Ignihyde, determined. I can still save this!

———

You were taking overthinking to a new level.

You bit your lip, staring at the game’s chatbox in front of you. Idia was online, and probably didn’t realize you were too. You leaned against the Heartslabyul common room couch (curse Ramshackle’s lack of internet!), and hit send.

Hey is everything ok??

You watched Idia’s game icon immediately switch to “online less than 1 minute ago,” and groaned.

Cater exited the kitchens, leaning over the couch back. “Hey~ what’s got my fave frosh so worked up?” He chirped, looking at your phone. “Ohh, isn’t that the popular game that’s been trending? Wait, didn’t you say Idia got you into it?” Cater immediately had his phone in hand, “that’s supes adorable, playing with friends is so fun-“

You cut him off, throwing your hands up, “that’s it! Idia just doesn’t want to talk to me! He- he just-!” You grabbed a throw pillow and smashed your face into it, groaning. Cater patted your shoulder sympathetically, “well, we’re playing at another one of Kalim’s parties tonight, you want in?” You sniffed dramatically, thinking. “Well, I guess. Sure, why not?”

Later that evening, you stepped into the Scarabia mirror. You and Cater made your way to the food table. As you both munched on Jamil’s cooking (damn, the guy made a good curry), you watched everyone dancing. “Y’know, it was weird seeing Idia at a party,” you commented, while Cater nodded. “Yeah! We decided to bring him along that day, it was fun seeing him.”

You sighed, “yeah, it was, but… it’s not really often that we can hang out in person. I kinda wanted to dance with him last time, but he sort of… blew me off? I guess maybe it wasn’t the best idea.” You winced, while Cater’s eyebrows rose. “You didn’t tell me that. So, he did that and also told you he didn’t want to be friends?” You nodded, frustration flooding back, “Yeah! And I just don’t understand how he can be so conceited about him being so high and smart, and not like me because I don’t-“

“Prefect,” Cater cleared his throat. You looked up mid-rant, meeting Ortho’s eyes, and jumped. He just snuck up on you both like it was nothing. Did he hear you? Hopefully he wouldn’t be mad. In your mind, Idia started it.

“Hello (name) (last name)!” Ortho said pleasantly, so you assumed he hadn’t heard you. Great. “I didn’t know you’d be here! What a coincidence!” That was a lie, Ortho overheard you and Cater talking about the party when you were walking to Scarabia. He absolutely knew. And he dragged Idia here because of it.

“Yep,” you smiled at Ortho, “it’s nice to see you.” Ortho mentally readied himself and remembered every bit of acting advice Vil gave him. “I almost forgot!” His eyes widened, while your eyes narrowed. Ortho was a robot. He didn’t forget shit. “Big brother is here, and he wanted to ask you to dance!” What? Your neck snapped around, looking for Idia’s bright blue hair. Cater elbowed you, bringing you back to reality.

“I-well, I- had not-“ you stammered, fumbling for an excuse. Ortho’s eyes shone at you like puppy eyes, and your anger at Idia cracked. “…yeah, sure,” you watched Ortho rise a bit in the air happily, “Yippee! I’ll go get him!” He zipped off, and you rubbed your temples. Cater twisted a strand of his hair, eyes wide. “Yikes…” “tell me about it,” you groaned.

A few minutes later, you both looked up when Kalim tapped the mic. You didn’t miss Ortho hovering a ways behind Kalim. “Hey everyone! Thanks for coming!” When the cheering died down, Kalim continued, “We’re gonna try something different! Everyone, find a partner and join the dance floor!”

Cater glanced at you, mischievous. “Welp, I can’t leave them hanging~ TTYL, Prefect!” And he left faster than you could say ‘Magicam.’ Sweet.

You hesitantly stepped to the dance floor, half expecting Ortho to float up to you and sheepishly tell you Idia left. Your mind drifted back to that day in the alchemy room. I guess it wouldn’t work, anyway.

To your surprise, a finger tapped your shoulder. You turned, seeing Idia with a with a flushed expression, wearing a casual-but-chic blazer. His hair looked a bit tamer than normal, and cascaded down his back in a low ponytail, bangs flickering over his forehead. Undoubtedly, this was the work of Ortho, who definitely got pointers from Vil.

You both stared at each other, unmoving, until slow music began playing. You averted your eyes. Idia gulped, eyes widening until waving caught his eye. Ortho was flying upwards a little ways away from the slowly-crowding dance floor, gesturing wildly at you. As if that wasn’t enough, he projected words above his head: DANCE WITH THEM!

Idia was lucky that everyone else was more interested in dancing with their partner than Ortho. His eyes snapped back to you, “s-so I guess you wanna-“ he swallowed thickly, eyes shifting to the dance floor. You shrugged, feigning nonchalance and looked ahead. Idia looked back at Ortho, who was pointing wildly at the words. He thought to himself, this is fine. It’s just the mandatory side quest. It’s not fighting the boss. It’s…

It’s charming the love interest. It’s solidifying your route!

Idia steeled himself and forced your hand into his. Your eyes shot to his in surprise, and he walked stiffly to the dance floor. Your hand clasped his, and you both swayed gently to the soft rock from the stage. Your brows furrowed, but Idia locked his gaze onto you, focusing only on you.

Yes, he thought. This is just the player’s pov on the screen, and he was only focusing on the love interest. The other waltzers didn’t exist. The party didn’t exist. It was just you and him.

Meanwhile, you were at a loss for words. While Idia seemed taciturn, you glanced up at the stage. Cater, Kalim, and Lilia were in their own little bubble jamming out, so that wasn’t a lifeline. After a little while of swaying with Idia, you hummed, “I haven’t seen you in a while. Since that day.” Idia’s hands felt clammy, and in the dimmed lights you saw a small pink dusting Idia’s cheeks. You saw him swallow heavily, but he didn’t say a word.

The tension grew between you two, and despite feeling hurt, you felt a little bad. Still, you wanted some answers out of Idia, after the incident in the alchemy room. “Y’know, you never used to be this… odd around me.” Was it the crowd that made him quiet, or… You felt a lump in your throat. Was it you?

Idia’s eyebrows shot up, thinking fast on what to say. Why can't conversations irl have ready-made dialogue?! “I… we c-can talk about wh-whatever you want? I guess?” He tried, kicking himself internally for leaving his tablet with Ortho. You bit the inside of your cheek as you stepped with him, that’ll do for now. “Scarabia parties are a little much, but they’re more pleasant than the Pomefiore mock balls,” you tried “wouldn’t you say?” After an uncomfortable pause, expecting a reply, you mumbled to yourself, “I guess we can stop talking now.”

“...is it like a rule for normies to chat while dancing? Isn’t the act of moving enough?” Idia mumbled in exasperation, hand tightening a little on your own. You bit your lip, your eyes burning. “No, I prefer to not talk to my friends at all and tell them we can’t be friends. It’s so much fun, right?” Idia’s eyes widened, and he scrambled for words, “I- I didn’t mean…” You stopped swaying abruptly, both of your clasped hands in the air. “Why are you here, Idia?”

A chill went through Idia. “T-To be honest, I didn’t even want to come to this stupid IRL dance,” he rushed out, “TBH Ortho had to make me come ‘cause he told me you’d be here-“ “You didn’t want…?” You cut Idia off, heart dropping. The other dancing couples swirled around you, but all the commotion around you felt like nothing more than idle chatter. Hurt flashed in your eyes, and Idia seemed shocked, which made you angry.

“I guess you wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who’s magicless, especially since you have STYX right?”

Idia’s eyes were wider than the Heartslabyul tea saucers. For once, he didn’t have a smart-ass reply. “Um, what? Obvi, I’m kind of stuck with STYX-” You let go of his hand and took a step back, almost bumping into a waltzing couple. “Yeah, wouldn’t want me to mess things up. Make any bad decisions and all that, right?” You felt your eyes water, despite yourself.

Furiously balling a fist and wiping your eyes, “Since you said we wouldnt work out n’stuff.” Idia suddenly remembered everything he’d muttered to himself, from the moment he’d stormed into the room to when he’d left dejectedly. When he’d made his choice and left before you could even get your word in.

Like a coward.

Idia’s heart pounded but shakingly, he reached a hand out to you. “P-prefect, I-I-!” You dodged the crowd, and ran out of Scarabia. You didn’t look back until you crashed through Ramshackle’s door, raced up the stairs, and fell onto your bed, Grim yelping in surprise as you tried your darndest to forget everything that just happened.

Back in Scarabia, Idia somehow stumbled off the dance floor, staggering to a table and breathing heavily. Mentally he replayed everything that just happened. Ortho floated over to him, “Brother? I don’t understand, why would (name) (last name) not accept your feelings?” Ortho went over the footage when he was observing you both dancing, and frowned.

“My senses indicate that based on their body language, they were upset with you. What happened?” Idia swallowed heavily, “I-I said it wouldn’t work out between us c-cuz they don’t have magic,” he stammered, eyes wide, “a-and STYX and-...” Ortho’s eyes widened, then narrowed, “That shouldn’t be a problem! You know that!”

“I meant for them, Ortho.” Idia sighed heavily, sinking into the chair. “I don’t want them to get hurt. Not when…” his mind wandered to Ortho, before NRC. He fell into deep thought. “In the end, I couldn’t even tell them...” He frowned deeply.

Ortho fell quiet, computing. Idia stared at the table, dejected, until Ortho spoke. “You know (Name) (lastname) doesn’t back down easily from a challenge.” That’s true. From playing games with Idia to taking down overblots, you weren’t someone who ran away when it mattered. Maybe that’s why Idia liked you - you were like the protagonists in animes, who found a way to make the world their own.

“You shouldn’t make (name) (last name)’s decision for them.” Idia looked up at his brother. Ortho continued, head angling to the side, Idia shook his head dejectedly, “it won’t work-”

“Your lil’ bro is right, y’know,” Cater walked over, shaking his hair out with his guitar slung over his shoulder. “Sry, I overheard you two,” Cater could piece together what happened. He did see you blow up at Idia (although he couldn’t hear you), and after spamming your phone with no reply after you ran out, now he had an idea of what was going on. “Y’know, if you didn’t tell them how you felt, then how could you know you were making the right choice?”

Idia looked down. Ortho piped up, “Cater Diamond is right.” Idia shut his eyes, then stood up, hands tightening into fists. Cater jumped back as Idia’s hair flared up bright blue, and the Ignihyde housewarden headed straight to the exit. Ortho called out, “thank you, Cater Diamond!” and floated after Idia, “Brother! Wait!”

“Lets go, Ortho,” Idia’s golden eyes steeled in determination, “I can fix this.”

—----

A knock on the door jolted you from your reading of Prejudice and Pride.

It was early morning. Somehow, even though it was the weekend and you’d stayed up all night, you still woke up at an ungodly early hour. After being unable to fall asleep (totally not because of Grim’s snoring and sleep-munching) you decided to go to your living room and read. You were sure that you didn’t have a guest coming, so why would…?

You got up and opened the door, expecting Ace or Deuce or something. The annoyed look on your face turned to shock when you saw Idia standing on your porch. In one hand, he held a bouquet of pomegranate-red roses and some flowers you recognized to be asphodel.

You both stared at each other, unwilling to move. “Idia,” you breathed, “why are you here?” Idia shuffled awkwardly, “I wanted to see you.” You crossed your arms, looking around. “Where’s Ortho?” You were sure the little robot boy made his brother come. Otherwise, why would Idia be here? Idia rubbed the back of his neck, “Ortho isn’t here. I… I wanted to see you,” he repeated.

Wordlessly, he thrust the flowers into your arms, and you wrapped your arm around it instinctively. “I- um,” you looked everywhere but Idia, who was staring at the Ramshackle doorway. “Idia,” you cleared your throat, “about what happened-” “Prefect, I… I wanted to apologize.” Your eyes widened, but Idia continued.

“I… I didn’t mean what I said that day.” Idia looked bashful, face turning pink and the ends of his hair turning a deep blush. He kept talking, rambling on and fighting he urge to grab his tablet and let the device speak for him. “I… really like being friends with you.” The words came out quietly from him, and even though he looked like he wanted to sink into his hoodie, Idia didn’t shirk away.

A lump rose in your throat as you didn’t make eye contact with him, instead playing with the flower bouquet, “I like being friends with you too,” you bit your lip, rubbing an asphodel petal, “I like you, Idia.”

Idia’s eyes widened and went rigid. Both his face and his hair went deep pink. Your own eyes widened at the color, and you felt your face grow hot. So that’s what it meant…? Not anger…?Wordlessly, without thinking, you dropped the bouquet. Your body moved on its own, and you flung yourself at Idia, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and squeezing your eyes shut.

Idia staggered back from the momentum with a squeak, but wrapped his arms around your torso with an iron grip. You gripped his hoodie tightly, finally understanding what had gone on for so long. Your cheek was pressed against his, and despite the early morning chill, you both felt warm.

High above, Ortho hovered in the distance over the tree canopies from afar. He zoomed in on you and Idia, and behind his face mask, he beamed. In midair, he did a heart-shaped loop-de-loop in happiness, and hovered back to Ignihyde.

After a few minutes, you leaned back in Idia’s arms, the both of you chuckling in happy disbelief. You looked up and saw a little blue streak leaving a smoke trail of a heart, and laughed to yourself. Idia turned around, seeing his brother above, a soft reminiscent look on his face.

“…guess Ortho was right.”

~END

——-

Fun fact: the beginning is inspired by idia’s school uniform vignette!!!

Me, while writing this: wow Idia and Cater’s dialogue are unique, they’d be hard to write

Also me: *puts both of them in this fic and suffers*

Writing Idia was SO HARD but I hope I managed to get him right-ish. Trying to balance his reactions with the dialogue was hard 😭

anyway thanks for reading~ please leave a comment/reblog!! <3

Taglist: @cerisescherries, @eclecticprincecollector, @ars-tral, @thehollowwriter, @twst-eeps, @casperandcats, @ttokkisbee, @mitsuriswaifu, @parad-ice-lostandfound, @sad-sie, @moyo5653

(If your user is in bold, I wasn’t able to tag you properly)

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

could you write for lottie x reader where they're playing a game like monopoly or uno and it's getting really heated, so lottie kisses reader to distract them and secretly steals money/hides one of her cards and reader catches her?

Word Games

Plot: Lottie hated losing, and you chose the one game she couldn't win.

Warnings: Lottie being a dirty cheater at scrabble. (Anon I know you wanted Monopoly or Uno but I thought scrabble would be fun), pretending that scrabble doesn't only let players have 7 letters at a time.

Notes: a bit shorter than usual so bear that in mind <3

-----------------------------------------------------

"Lottie, you can't play 'byd' and say it means 'bid'. That's not how Scrabble works. You know that." You looked at the Scrabble board where little put down her so-called 'word'.

"That isn't fair. You literally played the word 'exclusionary' last turn. I'll never beat you. You're not even giving me the chance to." She pouted at you, her brown eyes wide. It almost made you let her play her 'word'.

Almost.

"That sounds like a you issue, babe. Simply get better. I don't make you bend the rules when we play your games."

"My games don't require this much brainpower."

"I'm sorry, since when does Monopoly not require tons of strategy? Or when you make me play chess? You're just mad because you suck at word games." You smirked at her.

She just glared back at you and tried to come up with a real word to play. She ended up with the word 'bed'.

"So you're telling me that you forgot 'bed' was a word? Wow Lot, you're kinda falling apart over there."

"Oh shut up, y/n. Y's have more points," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Mm. Keep telling yourself that, honey." While you were talking, you came up with your next word. You'd chosen 'stranger'.

As you put down your letters, Lottie groaned. You just grinned up at her.

"Sorry Lots. I know how much it sucks to be a loser."

"Y/n, I swear to God. Please. What the Hell."

"Awww, is Lottie sad because she sucks at Scrabble? Do you want a kiss to make it better?" You taunted.

"Yeah, I do." With that, she leaned across the table, and met your lips with hers. You were like that for a few seconds when you heard rustling.

"Lottie, are you taking different letters from the bag? Are you that desperate?" You gave her a slightly condescending look.

"What. I don't know what you're talking about. I would never."

"Lottie." You raised your eyebrow at her.

"Fine. Yes. Okay. Maybe I was. It's not my fault that you're unnaturally good at this game." She pouted again.

"That doesn't mean you have to cheat!"

She was still staring at you with those gigantic puppy eyes. Unable to resist this tome, you scooted next to her and rested your head in her lap. She brought her head down to yours and gave you another soft kiss on the lips.

"We don't have to play any more if you don't want."

"Oh, and just let you win by default? No thanks," she said, smiling down at you. "I might lose, but I'm going to lose with dignity."

"Whatever you say, Lottie. Just no more cheating," you responded, getting up from her lap.

"No promises."

[aceofwhump]

Hi Ace! Any advice for this newfound adult? (18)

ALSO ALSO I love your page so much its literally one of the bestEST!!! In my eyes you're like a whump celebrity! 😀🔥

Asdfghjkl omg thank you so much!!! You're too kind! I'm glad you enjoy my blog! And hello! Welcome to the adult world! It sucks! lol sorry. I'm not the best at adulting at all but sure I can share some advice. Some things I've learned since turning 18:

Other adults are just as dumb as you feel. We're all drowning and have no idea what we're doing so it's okay to feel like you have nothing down and don't know what you're doing. Cause we all feel like that. We're all just kids trying to make our way in the world.

Work should not be the center of your world. Work is supposed to be the place you go to make money so you can live your life. Don't let it take over your life. Don't let the frustrations of work destroy your mental health. No job is worth that. If it gets to be too much and it's affecting your health, it's time to find another job.

Maintaining friendships can be harder as you reach adulthood because schedules get crazy and people move and such but it's so worth the work. It won't be as easy as it was in high school because you're not gonna see people every day. You have to work hard to make time to see people and remember to text your friends every now and then even if it's just a "hey I'm thinking about you" or sending them a funny gif or video. Make the effort. Reach out to people you care about. Tell them you care about them.

Now I don't know your home life but as someone who still lives with their parents and has never moved out, THAT'S OKAY TO DO. You are not required to move out as soon as possible just to say your an adult. Life is hard and expensive and sometimes it's nice to have people to come home to.

Don't worry about what others think of you. Wear what you want, enjoy your hobbies whatever they may be, eat what you want, live you life for yourself. Not for others. You'll be happier. Trust me.

Go out there and try things!! You're young! Do things! You never know what you might find until you look.

Learn how to budget but remember that it's okay to spend money on "stupid stuff" that makes you happy. Go ahead and buy that stuffed animal or toy you've wanted since you were a kid.

Lists are very helpful for keeping track of important dates, chores to do, bills to pay. Makes lists. Keep them up on the fridge or a bulletin board above your computer.

Take care of your health. Brush your teeth, try to eat healthy, go outside for a walk, etc.

The best advice I got concerning credit cards was this: use one for big purchases but only use it when you have the money in your bank account to pay for the item. So like, go buy a chair with your credit card and then as soon as you can, pay the credit card bill with the money you should have in the bank. That way you don't end up going into massive credit card debt because you're spending money you don't have.

Be patient.

Be open to new things and meeting new people.

Be kind but take no shit. You never know what the other person is going through and we all handle stress and fear in different ways. It never hurts to just be kind when you can. When you can't be kind? Take no shit. Don't let someone walk over. Stand up for yourself.

Wear sunscreen!!!

Find a hobby. And I mean something you do just for yourself that has nothing to do with making any money. Create something. Learn to crochet or knit or make things with wood or draw or build legos or sew or cosplay or write or make movies or photography. SOMETHING that lets you use your hands and that you do just for yourself because it makes you happy. It's also a great way to meet people. Most of my friends I've met through my hobbies. Hobbies are great for your mental health

Put the phone down sometimes and just be in the moment. Just enjoy life for a bit without thinking about taking photos for social media.

Work hard but don't kill yourself. It's good to work hard and have a good work ethic but remember to take a break and don't push yourself beyond your limits.

GO THRIFTING!!! I can't say that one enough. People tend to look down on places like Good Will, Savers, and thrift stores but I can buy a brand new couch for like 30 dollars at these places. I have bought an entire wardrobe for next to nothing. Go thrifting. You'll find some really great things for cheap.

Ask for help when you need it. It's not shameful to ask for help. And that's for everything. Don't understand something at work? Ask a coworker or manager. Not sure how to cook something? Ask a friend or family member if they know how. Struggling with your mental health? Ask for help from a friend or family member. ASK FOR HELP

And finally, there is no deadline or boxes you need to mark off to be considered an "adult". You don't have to get married, buy a house, have kids, etc. to be successful at adulting. Live your life how you want to live your life.

Good luck nonny!!!!

[pixies-love-envy]

Chapter 3: Cricket

My shift ends in two hours, and a freak storm brews outside, a stark difference from the perfect summer weather this morning. They refuse to send the staff home and close early. Apparently, the weather plays into the lowly, down-on-their-luck band of travelers' fantasy. I finish mixing a “Dungeon Master’s Delight” for a very talkative, very proud, level 26 halfling paladin called Cormo Rumblesurge.

“Thanks much, barkeep!” he bellows as he takes his drink.

“The pleasures all mine, fearless adventurer!” I say, copying his Monty Python-esque accent. I don’t have to respond like this, but I want to do the job well if I'm getting paid. A few minutes later, a lull at the bar signaled to Harlow and me that it was time to sneak over to the bathroom and waste time. If you excel at your job, you have more wiggle room to do what you want.

The bathroom is single-stall. We lock it to ensure our privacy. Harlow passes me the joint she rolled this morning, and I open the bathroom window, careful not to touch the strange yellowish-brown substance on its sill. I reach into my bra to retrieve my special lighter. Her name is Zelda. She’s a gold zippo with the lovers tarot card engraved on the front. My lighter is due for a flint and wick replacement soon. I might even have to take some time to maintain its finish. I flip it open, light the perfectly rolled joint, and take two puffs, but I do not pass it to Harlow. She doesn’t do drugs or even drink, for that matter. It’s not for lack of trying. She just doesn’t react well to them. It’s almost like she’s allergic. Harlow is, however, the resident joint roller because I suck at it, and she’s a good friend.

“You remember that episode of The Twilight Zone with the author?” she asks. I know I’m the high one, but she always manages to come up with the goofy high-people questions.

“Gonna have to be more specific, Babe.” I have literally never seen an episode of The Twilight Zone, and I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that to her.

“He's cheating on his wife and gets exposed when she comes home early, but it turns out his mistress is a fictional character he created. Come to find out, his wife is actually also a fictional character who was initially perfect but deviated from his description, which is why she came home early in the first place.”

“I feel like I-” I wheeze, breaking into a series of hacking coughs that made my body jerk. “would just make my character wife polyamorous.”

“Yeah, but if she's gained sentience, you can't make her do anything, and you certainly can't make her want to be with you anymore.”

“Damn, I guess I write her a new wife, and I write myself a husband because men have no standards.” the joke makes me laugh, and I send myself into another coughing fit.

“I think I just wouldn’t use the magic.”

“Wow, you’re so lame.” I cup my hand over the joint to hide the glow of the cherry and protect it from the breeze let in by the window. I take a drag. If this wind picks up, I fear, oh how I fear, that I will have to stay here at the inn. I would rather sit on a hot grill. “Also, what you meant to say was sapience, not sentience. All animals are sentient, but humans are sapient.”

She punches the shit out of my shoulder. “You’re so freaking irritating.” I launch the roach out of the window, and we depart.

In the time it took us to leave and come back, the guests from the Inn all came down to the tavern. They’re not dressed in their best costumes anymore, but they dressed up enough for me to respect their commitment to the bit. A loud bang, like metal on glass, comes from my left. The whole room turns to look. A street sign has blown into the tavern’s window and bounced off. Looks like we’re staying here tonight. I go to take a set of room keys from behind the bar, but the rack is empty.

“No, no, no” this can’t be. There were three fucking keys here when we left. Under the counter. They must be under the counter, under the cups, in the cash register, or something. They have to be here somewhere. Harlow puts her hand on my shoulder.

“The inn is full, honey,” and there are no rooms left. The staff is trapped. “I guess we’ll have to sleep in the tavern.”

“Harly, I can’t sleep in the tavern.”

“Yes, you can.” she models taking deep breaths in and out with her hands and chest. “It’ll be okay. I’ll snatch up the nicest, cleanest booth we’ve got. You know, the one in the corner, and all night we’re gonna laugh at that bitch Michelle because her big sasquatch ass is gonna have to sleep on the floor.” Damn, she’s funny. I hate to say it because it makes me seem like an asshole, but the jab at Michelle is pulling me out of my panic attack. I chuckle, and Harlow lets out a sigh of relief.

“She really is fucking huge.” I’m laughing so hard Harlow can barely understand me “She’s like Hagrid in a mini skirt.” She joins in my laughter, and I remember why she’s my best friend.

Harlow puts me in a friendly headlock. “It’s all gonna be alright, Jiminy. It's not gonna be like when you were a kid.”

“Yeah, I know it’s gonna be fine,” I say with a smile. “Because I’m going to pick up one of these nerds and sleep in a nice, warm bed tonight.”

“Are you serious? You’re resorting to prostitution now?”

“I am!” I reply very loudly and matter-of-factly. Then I stalk off in search of my new man.

The guys who come here aren’t usually very ugly, but they're still not preferable. Occasionally, we get a semi-attractive man who roleplays as a prince fighter hero, half-elf, or something or other. Unfortunately for me, it seems we’ve got a bad batch in here tonight. There’s a man in with really nice arms, but he’s got a wedding ring. After a good look around, I saw three viable options. The first is a burly man with heavy green face paint, the second is a tall, lanky blonde orc, and the third is a ginger, who looks like a sixteen-year-old, who I know for a fact is 23 because I carded him. I’m about to go for the blonde orc at the end of the bar when, out of the corner of my eye, I see him—a pretty boy dressed in standard 21st-century garb. He’s got brown floppy hair and bright blue eyes with a yellow center almost like a sunflower. They go perfectly with his warm and inviting peachy complexion. Looking at him genuinely is an experience. Obviously, he’s the one.

Okay, Cricket, it’s game time. I reach behind the bar and take a swig from the bottle of my favorite cinnamon whiskey. I went into this thinking I wouldn’t have to try very hard, but if I’m going to turn tricks, I figure I should turn them for a man of substance. It’s a good thing I have this corset on. I look freaking amazing. I walk right up and sit across from him in his booth.

“Alright, what’s your story, pretty boy? What on earth is someone like you doing in The Chipped Tea Cup?”

“Yeah, no. Welcome to my booth, I guess, Miss—” He pauses to read my name tag. “Tiploft.” He puts on a genuine smile. “Just trying to escape the rain. I’m at the tail end of a road trip, actually.” That was kind of obvious, and I’m not sure why I asked. The road trip is news, though.

I rest my elbows on the table and lean in to show off my cleavage. “Oh, so you’re a true adventurer. Where are you going?”

“I got a new apartment uptown, just a few miles from here. I’ve traveled through six states to get here.”

“Uptown? Are you, by chance, a student.”

“Yep, going to Redwood University. Working at the Research Lab of The Adjustment Of Phenology,” I give him a quizzical look. “The study of seasons. I’m gonna help solve climate change,” he says proudly.

“Huh, I would’ve guessed business major. Men who look like you want to work on wall street and like fuck people over.”

“Glad to break the stereotype, Thelda.”

“Oh, shit, no, that’s not my name. This is my work cosplay.” I hope to god I don’t look like a Thelda. “What’s your name?”

“It’s March.” he extends his arm for a handshake, “March Starling.”

“Cricket St. James.” I shake his hand. “Let me buy you a drink.”

“Thanks so much for offering, but I don’t drink.”

“Oh, that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. My best friend’s allergic to alcohol, too.” I have never come across another person with an allergy like Harlow’s. If I’m being honest, I’ve never even considered that there are other people like her. I guess I just thought she, of all people, would have such an obscure trait.

“No, I don’t drink of my own volition.” he pauses and furrows his eyebrows. “I’m also pretty sure no one is allergic to alcohol.”

“You’re telling me that you’re a sexy environmentalist who doesn’t drink.”

He smiles to himself, “Better than your average drunken pollutant.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” I tease. “What do you do for fun then?”

“Well, sometimes back home, when I would get bored, I would sneak into the abandoned buildings on the other side of town.” I nod my head, encouraging him to go on. “And I would hand out snacks to the homeless, and we’d have great conversations.”

“Oh, wow, you really are just a nice guy.”

His cheeks start to redden. “What are you then, Cricket?” he asks.

“I’ll tell you later,” I say, changing the subject. “So, will you be staying the night, March, or are you thinking of braving the storm to get to your new place?” If I had a drink, I would twirl its straw and flip my dreads, but I went into this half-cocked.

“I’m staying. Got the last available room, apparently.” This motherfucker took my room.

“Really? That’s so lucky. Most of the staff here are staying in the tavern tonight.” I give him a tiny closed-mouth smile, making it seem like I’m failing an attempt at stoicism.

“That’s awful. I know I can’t help everybody, but you can stay in my room tonight if you would be comfortable with me.” He’s so kind, I don’t even think I’ll have to sleep with him. I guess he just likes helping the homeless, however temporary their homelessness.

“I would love to share a room with you, March.”

Too Sweet Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Looking for FEEDBACK on my first few chapters. They are really short and are easy reads. Any feedback is welcome. Tell me about anything you think can be improved upon or anything that you liked. Comment on the prose or the dialogue. Literally anything that comes to mind that can help.

@mundanemoongirl @arrowmoose @yourpenpaldee @frostedlemonwriter

[partyanimal167]

Paying Back Goodness- Vampire!Miguel x F!Reader

Was this supposed to be just another vampire!Miguel fic during October? Yes.

Is it definitely almost December instead? Also yes.

I need practice writing smut with this man for my other fic, so I'm definitely going to pretend that this came out before that other story lol

cw: modern au, black fem reader, smut, mdni, praise kink, biting (duh), pet names, pussy-drunk Miguel (our favorite munch)

For the life of you, all you wanted to do was rest. Literally. Life was wearing you out, but when a hot stranger needs your help, things somehow get more interesting.

You wanted to get home as soon as possible. You spent the entire day running around for your boss to make sure he didn't miss meetings or forget to send important documents. You didn't see yourself being a secretary, but you took a break from your main career, and this job found you with good benefits and some relief. However, being the workaholic you are, you were just as committed and driven in this job that was only supposed to be a year. Now, it had been two and a half.

It was fine at first. Your first boss was a gentle, sweet old man, but he was replaced a cocky asshole once he retired. You knew that the company was wealthy which meant things needed to be in order, but your boss could totally be tyrant.

You groaned as you turned on your car which beamed with a light stating you needed to get gas. You rested your head on the steering wheel and cursed past-you for being lazy that morning. It didn't matter though. It was Friday, and you actually had the weekend off to disassociate from the grind.

You drove to your favorite gas station nearby and decided to go inside for a snack. It was the normal night commuter crowd who quickly came and went like you planned on. You stood near the register thinking about which candy bar to buy when you heard someone clear their throat in your direction. You turned disinterested but ended up surprised by what you saw.

The man towered over you but looked down softly. He had handsome features: board shoulders, strong-looking arms, high cheek bones. His eyes were gentle as well as his hair that waved at certain points. You gulped quietly.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I think I left my wallet. Could I trouble you in getting this drink for me?" he scratched his head awkwardly, but the emotion looked cute on him.

You blinked twice then nodded. "Oh yeah sure, no problem." you placed your items on the counter and were in your thoughts. The man was dressed casually, but you were sure it was nice quality stuff. You mean, the situation happens to the best of people, so there was no reason to judge.

"Thank you so much, hermosa. I hope I can pay you back one day." the man smiled. You told him not to worry about it and went your separate ways. He was parked near your car, and you peeked to see how nice of a vehicle it was. You nearly choked. It looked like something that would be driven by your boss' boss. You turned away quickly as you filled your tank. You could hear the sound of an engine starting before a curse and then a door slamming.

You peered up and met the very shy gaze of the man from earlier. "This is really embarrassing, but I seem to be out of gas too..." he trailed off and barely met your eyes.

You just finished filling up, and you smiled to yourself. "Okay then." you walked over to the man's car and inserted your card.

"I'm so sorry. I was in such a rush to leave, and now I'm here bothering a beautiful lady." the man went on.

You coughed at the compliment but tried to play it off. "I get it, but let's just get you home. No point in being stranded. That would suck." you giggled.

The man nodded before searching for a scrap of paper while the tank filled. He fished for a pen before scribbling quickly. "I owe you one. If you ever need anything, anything, don't be afraid to call me please." You looked at the paper and read the name: Miguel O'Hara. Why was that familiar to you? You pocketed the slip and nodded. After insisted that you would call, you two went you separate ways.

You threw on your pajamas and flopped on your bed ready to rest the night away--promptly forgetting about your small act of kindness.

~~~

You were beat.

In the normal chaos of things, you totally forgot about the upcoming fall masquerade that your company was hosting. Thankfully, the event was handled by the marketing department, but you spent hours searching for a dress and mask to wear. You needed to look presentable. Your boss lectured you on who he needed to impress and how you need to find any and all hot gossip about the important business people. It seemed there were some ambitions he wanted to act on.

You didn't really care.

You stared at the garment bag hanging on the back of your bedroom door. You had a couple of hours before you needed to start getting ready, so you pulled out one of your work binders and flipped through the VIP list. You looked lazily at stuffy professional photos, facts on various business adventures, and quirks in people's personal lives. A couple red tabs highlighted your boss' targets, and you tugged on one randomly.

The page showed the strong intimidating face of one Miguel O'Hara. You nearly chocked on nothing. You knew his name was familiar! You were a bit startled by the photo. He looked so serious and commanding--very much the opposite of when you met him randomly at the gas station. The car made a lot more sense now. The man's pockets were deep. You glossed over to the personal facts. Your eyebrow quirked.

There were several bullet points noting how the man was a bit of a recluse, didn't like meetings before 4pm, preferred working at night, etc. He had been a highly sought after businessman for partnerships and investments, but was notorious for wanting all the details and spotting a swindler miles away.

You snorted to yourself. Your boss was going to have to be on top of his shit if he wanted to get away with anything, and you highly doubted that he was.

You hummed to yourself, looking at all the information. It was interesting to see how one's professional life contradicted with the personal. The gas station incident made a little more sense to you now. You wondered what made the man leave his house in the first place. Must have needed something and his staff was away.

You figured it would be easy to spot him later that night. Your boss would be ready to kiss ass and shake hands, so you didn't think you'd have much interaction to mentally prepare for.

Hopefully it would be an easy night.

~~~

"What did you just say?" Despite the mask covering half of your face, you knew that your disbelief was shining through. You were so tempted to kick your shoes off and high-tail out of the gala hall. Be fucking for real.

Your boss scoffed before pinching the bridge of his nose--as if his request was as simple as bringing him another drink. "Please don't be difficult tonight. I hear that O'Hara has been having a bit of a dry spell. If he seems even a little interested in you, pounce on him. Get into his bed if you need to. I'm sure he's got some important information in his home office."

You stared dumbfounded. "I am not fucking him for you! What the hell!"

An eye roll. "Oh please, I'm sure it'd do you some good. You don't have a boyfriend. Plus, I'll give you a raise. You can-," Thankfully, another VIP target appeared to speak with your boss which gave you an opportunity to slip away.

You didn't necessarily hate parties, but this grand showings of your company's wealth was a bit annoying when you felt you could be better compensated for your performance. You grabbed a glass of champagne and walked around a bit--chatting with some co-workers and seeing what little habits the rich and wealthy had. You weren't above knowing a little chisme, just not going to fuck someone for work.

"These things are always a little stuffy." a friendly voice said in your direction.

You didn't turn to see who it was but chuckled a little. "Yeah, but you gotta let the rich people have their fun. Otherwise, they're gonna start torturing poor people again." you kept your eyes on the crowd. Most people you recognized from their files, but despite your boss' wants, you hadn't seen Miguel O'Hara so far. The party had been going around for awhile. You weren't sure if he was going to show up, but that wasn't too much of your concern.

"Mm, that's quite an interesting thought." there was a brief pause, "Well I don't quite find amusement in people's suffering. But sometimes discipline is required--especially when you keep someone waiting." there was some teasing under there, and your brief tipsiness faded when that voice went a little deeper. You turned to face the stranger and softly gasped. "I thought you would have called me by now, Miss y/n."

Somehow seeing him this time, Miguel's presence felt entirely too large as you faced him. He looked down at you confidently, and there was some of that strong demeanor in his eyes. It reminded you of reading his file from earlier. He was definitely in his element here even if he preferred to be at home. You, on the other hand, were not used to high-end parties and social mingling. That's why you were off to the side watching.

Miguel indulged in seeing you decked out in a gown and a lacy mask. Your face was lightly beat, and lips shone in the light. You weren't going overboard like some of the other women there, but it didn't matter. He planned to seek you out after seeing your name as a point of contact for one of rich bastards here.

You took a moment to get your words together. "Ah well, I've been a bit busy...plus I didn't want to bother you."

Miguel grunted. "Wouldn't have been a bother at all. I'm the one who troubled you."

You waved your hand. "Ah well, it's fine really. A simple act of kindness. It's all good." you mumbled a little. There was an amusement in the man's eyes, and they seemed to glow with how his own masked framed his face. "I'm surprised you recognized me..."

A chuckle. "Of course hermosa, how could I forget such a beautiful face? I-,"

And just your luck for your boss to appear. "Ah there you are! Mr. O'Hara, I see you've met my lovely secretary. I hope she's giving you some good company. I'm-," he went on some rant, and you saw this as a chance to try and dip. You did not want your boss getting the wrong idea that you were going along with his shitty plan to seduce Miguel and search his house for whatever blackmail he assumed existed. It did look as though he was paying attention to your boss, so you quietly took a step away.

Immediately, you felt an arm around your waist-- pulling you closer to Miguel. Your faced warmed up. How did he even notice you move?

"Ah yes, I think we have a meeting coming up together soon. I'm interested in the project you proposed." Miguel interrupted the boring ramble. He leaned by your ear for a moment. "Find me on the third balcony in fifteen minutes." he whispered in your ear before letting you go.

You glanced at him then your boss before nodding. Your boss sent an unsubtle glare your way as you walked off.

...

It took an hour before you found yourself alone on the balcony. You took a seat on the sole bench and glanced up at the night sky. You had watched as crowds of people went out of their way to talk to Miguel. From afar, it seemed as though he had such a charismatic control over people. He leaned into it with powerful handshakes and cocky grins.

You were tempted to go home, but then your eyes met his and he winked. You decided to wait a little longer since the man wanted to talk to you.

You sighed after taking off your mask. You fidgeted with the shawl around your shoulders.

"Your boss is pretty shameless." you turned and watched Miguel approached you.

You chuckled before looking back at the sky. "Oh trust me I know. You wouldn't believe what he's asked me to do."

You felt the man stand close behind you. "Oh probably sending out his secretary to tease me." you quickly turned up at him. Miguel had a knowing grin. He licked his lips. "He's going to have to get more creative than that, but," he paused and took in the curious look in your eyes, "I would be tempted since it's you."

Things felt like they were warming up despite the autumn chill. "Excuse me?"

Miguel took a seat right by you, and the closeness wasn't in your favor. "I was hoping to take you out once you called, but that didn't happen." he huffed. "I had to wait to see you at work event. Not so charming."

You scratched your cheek and messed with the shawl again. "Ah well, you don't have to worry about charming me--people!" you corrected quickly. "People are drawn to you."

"Yeah for my money, but I wouldn't mind getting the attention I want for once." he gently reached out and turned your chin so you could properly look at him. "Gosh you look delicious." he groaned. You gasped as a thumb ran over your bottom lip. "Excuse my forwardness, but your sweetness drew me. I just want a little taste." he leaned in, "may I kiss you?"

"Yes." you quietly let out.

There was a shock that ran through you body feeling his lips against yours. You wanted to melt immediately. Yes, the man was attractive, but it was like something was pulling you just from his closeness and attention. You wanted to be greedy and hoard it. It suddenly wasn't enough to be alone with him outside. You feel something a bit pointy graze the skin of your lips, and you opened your eyes to see streaks of red in the man's eyes. Confusion flashed through you though Miguel looked down at you with a gentle fondness and deep hunger.

He slowly licked around what was definitely a fang as he lifted your hand to his lips, kissing it, then placing it on his cheek. "Mmm, you feel so warm too." his voice vibrated through your skin and its sultry tone kept you aroused and intrigued despite the slow growing concern that things were not what they first seemed. Miguel could see it in your eyes--the curiosity just under that cloud of lust. "Oh nena, you're safe with me." another kiss onto your hand, "I just bite a little."

~~~

You didn't question why Miguel had a suite ready at a hotel nearby. You didn't question how he seemed to know where to touch and what to say. You didn't question what he was despite knowing that those fangs were real and how the pieces about him were coming together.

Miguel planned on being on his best behavior originally. He mentally prepared himself to be in the limelight with people flocking towards him on the pretense of business. He only wanted to speak with you originally about a casual coffee date or to ask you why you were working for a scummy boss. (So he looked into your job and company. Don't sue him) However, things were just so tempting seeing how you easily talked with him, how your dress hugged your body and color scheme lit up your eyes, how he could hear your heartbeat increase and watch the slight twitch of your neck.

He lost that battle to tempation.

So Miguel would take you away from the useless mingling and allow the two of you to indulge in one another.

You gasped as you bounced slightly on the bed and propped yourself up to watch the man. He eyed you almost drunkenly as he pulled at his tie and tossed his cufflinks to ground as if they were worthless. You moaned watching him undress himself all the way to his briefs and felt that hazy sensation when you were pulled to the edge of the bed. A leg was raised, and you bit your lip feeling that sharp grazing sweep over your skin. The skin didn't break, but the possibility excited you especially when the truth was becoming clearer. You saw how his eyes glowed in the dark, and you froze with both arousal and anxiety.

Miguel chuckled as he rubbed his face against your leg--kissing right behind your knee. "Mmm, I don't know how I want to taste you first." he muttered half to himself and you. He edged himself more feeling his teeth on you skin. He could sense your excitement. "It won't hurt, nena; I promise. Just want little bite, please." his sweet begging made you clench around nothing, and of course, he saw it. He reached up and dragged your thin underwear off you. He melted at the sight. "So eager to please me. Just want to be a good meal for a vampire like me? Yeah, I know."

You knew. He knew you did, but the confirmation did things to your body. You heaved for air, and body started to squirm for more. It did was so deliciously appealing to know that this man desired you in more ways than one. You spread your other leg quickly for him and whimpered as the air reached your core. "Please," you started off, "I want it."

Miguel chuckled as his hands ran further up than before, your dress pushing up and gathering by your waist. "You want it?" Miguel teased and mimicked you. "You want what baby? You gotta use your words pretty girl. I know you can do it."

But you weren't sure what exactly. Him to fuck you, yes, but how would it feel if he did those other unspoken things he wanted? If he did more than just bite you but truly indulged in your essence? You didn't want to decide just then; either one would be beyond satisfying for sure. You shook your heard--still squirming and panting for more. "Give me whatever." You yelped feeling a slap against your wet cunt.

"Not the right answer. Be specific, dulce." Miguel went on to slowly run his fingers up and watch the slick coat his fingers. He was starting to lose himself more. You smelled sweet and delicious. He hadn't had the temptation to eat in a long time, but after meeting you, he couldn't shake the feeling. He was fighting so hard to be calm, collected. But you were such putty in his hands. He'd give you anything you wanted too.

"I want you to eat me out, sir." you threw the words together, but they seemed to work since Miguel went straight to work--sucking on your clit. He made himself comfortable wrapping his arms around your thighs; there was no way you'd be able to escape if you really wanted to.

He was messy.

If you weren't so caught up in your own pleasure, you'd think about how he seemed to be doing this for himself. The room sounded wet. You went from gripping the sheets to his hair and thrashing up and down--trying to get even closer to that sinful tongue that moved better than you'd ever experience.

Miguel was definitely pleased with himself and your reactions. Your hands gripped his hair once his fangs ever-so gently pressed on your clit. He was drunk off your scent, your sounds, your essence. He wouldn't have minded spending his night here at all really. He's please to devour you in any shape or form.

"Fuck, I'm gonna come." you breath out.

Miguel enjoyed that confession. He didn't let up at all. He lapped his tongue up and down, sucked on your pearl, teased your entrance. Your body trembled and only babbles were coming out. You were submerged in that intense feeling; you thought nothing could top it really...

But then you felt two pricks. And soon you were drowning deeper.

Miguel drinks from your thick thighs. He couldn't help himself. Your enamored expressions from coming pushed him to have you once again--more towards his nature. You were truly filling his being now. His brain was blanking only having that warm, comforting feeling of safety in ecstasy. Your pleasure became his and vice versa. He was lost in the way you accepted him so easily; he hadn't experienced that before.

The man pulled his teeth out and lapped at the bite deliriously. He rested his head on a thigh and enjoyed watching you come down from that consuming experience.

Your lungs finally seemed like they could get enough air, and you blinked away tears--first staring at the dark ceiling then moving your head down to see those glowing red eyes stare up at you--so much reverence and care. It took you by surprise, but you could only moan. Words still failing you.

"You're so beautiful, reina." It wasn't lost to you how he licked around his pink-tinted fangs. He pushed himself up and kissed his way back up. "So delicious, you have to mine." he was nearly pleading. Another kiss on your neck then lips. His eyes were so eager yet soft. He smiled sweetly at you. "Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."

~~~

Apparently, eights hours was enough time for your world to be turned upside down. While you dreamed of warmth and care, Miguel seemed to have been working to make life a lot easier for you. Breakfast had been ordered. Clothes delivered. And a plan to buy your company, fire your boss, and get you back into your desired profession easily formulated.

You were none the wiser as grapes were gently placed into your mouth even after you insisted that you were fine enough to feed yourself. Miguel wouldn't be having that.

The man was still gorgeous in the soft lights of the hotel room, and it was hard to maintain eye-contact after the night's...festivities. You darted your eyes again, and Miguel chuckled. You looked back. "What?"

Another smile. "Why can't you look at me? Was it too much?" he almost pouted.

You scratched your cheek and fiddled with your hair. "It was amazing...but in my defense, vampires are not common knowledge." you opened your mouth to be fed without hesitation this time.

"Well, we like to keep things that way." he paused for a moment. "And I was wondering..."

The shyness didn't seem like at him at all. You met his eyes though they seemed nervous. "What is it?"

Miguel looked back at you. "I was hoping I could take you out after all of this...maybe some dinner or something." you laughed. "What's so funny!"

You waved your hand. "Nothing. You just showered me in goodness, and you're the one that's shy about me not wanting to see you? I'd be out of my mind." you leaned over and pecked him on the lips. "Guess good deeds to pay off."

I am a sucker for a vampire!Miguel. I want all the sexy, tempting goodness. Help people folks. You never know were it'll get ya 😉

~~~

It took me over a month to get through most of this, but only twenty minutes for the last portion. Writing is weird.

[sanityshorror]

the julius redraw of my beloved patrick led to julius becoming my other beloved. they're both so.....😍*chef's kiss* 💋could you please write a scenario about these two pretty boy psychos meeting each other for the first time? thank you❤️

Awe thank you so much, I'm glad you love Julius! I put so much work into him and I'm working on soooo many projects about him 👀 As for the scenario, I apologize but I really don't have time and I don't write fanfiction involving my own characters (I created Julius, to be clear; he's my character 😭) BUT I can tell you my silly HCs of if somehow their different universes collided and they met!

Given Patrick's personality and knowing Julius' like the back of my hand, unfortunately I do not see any sort of friendship ever forming between the two. Neither of the men are prone to form a genuine bond with anyone. Now, I can confirm that there are a few exceptions for Julius but it's very, very, very few. As for Patrick, it's up to one's interpretation of if he can/does form a true bond, I personally interpret him to be similar to Julius: no, with extremely rare exceptions.

While I do not see a genuine bond being able to form between the two, I absolutely do see them both as having a mutually beneficial fake-friendship. They're both east coast, coked up, sex addicted, rich white men who lead double/multiple lives and are deceptive as all hell. They both are also very obsessive over image, appearance and social status/perception. Now what I absolutely do believe would happen is Patrick forming an obsessive infatuation but intense jealousy towards Julius due to multiple reasons.

I'll explain:

Julius was born in a working class family during the Victorian era who immigrated to America and became a mainly self made multi-billionaire (being married to the Boss of the Boston Irish Mob brings in a lot of money on top of his own very successful business). Patrick on the other hand, despite being born into wealth still doesn't hold a candle to Julius' riches. Patrick may own a Manhattan penthouse but Julius could buy the entire building if he wanted to, and without batting an eye at the price tag given the multi-millions that roll in weekly for him.

That brings me to another reason: sheer status and power. Julius is so elite that brand names mean nothing to him and he sees brand names as something for the poor. Julius owns a very popular, top of the line, extremely expensive dress shop and boutique. Everything is hand made by him (he doesn't even use sewing machines), one of a kind and the man is talented. His shop is so revered you need an appointment just to get in and people will save up for years and fly across the country, even across the ocean to get a dress. (Of course, only the lucky actually leave the shop....) Basically, Julius' wealth and god like status (he can literally have anything he wants, whenever he wants and gets endless attention) is something Patrick would, though be very jealous of, lead Patrick to suck up to Julius. Our boy Patrick would set his homophobia aside in a second if it meant being seen going into Doherty's Dress Shop without needing an appointment.

Julius would look down on Patrick. He would find him annoying and pathetic. However Julius loves attention and loves people sucking up to him (and loves cocaine-murder buddies) so he probably wouldn't kill Patrick as long as Patrick played his cards right and didn't challenge him. I see Julius using Patrick as a verbal punching bag and forcing him to smuggle drugs and traffic humans and other shit, and probably also just make him do degrading things like "I'll let you enter my store wherever you want if you suck my boot until you jizz in your pants hahahaha nasty bitch" just for shits and giggles. And Patrick probably would because oh that sweet sweet sweet status.

Julius also would make fun of Patrick for being 'short and fat'. Patrick is said to be 6'0 and 190lbs whereas Julius, who is anorexic, stands at 6'5 (in the human leather boots he always wears, he's 6'2 without them) and horrific mere 135lbs (please seek help if you struggle with eating, you deserve it/gen). I think they would both feed into each other's body issues and obsession with perfection.

It would be interesting to see them meet, I must admit that lol.

[mayakern]

hello!! if you don't mind me asking, what was your professional art journey like? (esp the earlier years) was MonsterPop! your first big project online? were you still taking client work when you opened up your shop? you're a very inspiring artist and I hope to be in a similar position as you one day! thank you so much for your time!

oh boy this is a doozy! and also a lot of this involves devin bc our success is completely intertwined

i went to art school (MCAD) from 2009-2013. i majored in comic art but had a secondary unofficial focus in illustration, specifically product design, and i interned at paper bicycle (the company of my product design teacher) my senior year, the same year they opened up light grey art lab. i mailed out a LOT of tarot decks. they didn't have a label printer so this took forever.

during that time i took some freelance illustration and comic gigs and also created some comics that got an amount of traction online (mostly on tumblr but i also got an io9 article written about me iirc). i also started making monsterpop (in 2012 i think?).

in 2012 i ran my first kickstarter to crowdfund an anthology of some of my short comics (how to be a mermaid, the little robot girl, fairyfail) and got my first taste of proper self publishing. sadly this was before i created redden (which was my senior thesis comic) so it wasn't included. i didn't have label printer so mailing out the books (i think i sold around 200) took forever and i ended up throwing a pizza party with my friends and having them help me.

after graduating i moved to the LA area in search of work. it honestly sucked ass and most things didn't pan out but eventually (2014) i got a remote job contracting for gaiaonline and i moved right back to minnesota bc i absolutely hated LA.

i met devin (my wife) 20 days after moving back to minneapolis. in 2015 i ran a kickstarter to fund printing the first volume of monsterpop and people bought almost 400 books. it was insane. i was dying under the stress of trying to mail it all out those packages and didn't own a label printer yet. between having to hand write the addresses, being both dyslexic AND slow, and getting headaches from the fumes, i could send out a max of like 10 packages a day. once again i was planning to throw another pizza party to have my friends help me out, but devin swooped in and got 100 packages done in just a couple hours and when i tell you that no one has ever done anything sexier for me in my life, i truly mean it.

at the time devin and i were both broke living paycheck to paycheck. gaia didn't pay well and the patreon money i got helped, but wasn't that much. i took some freelance/commissions and got some store and convention sales, but i was making around 22-26k and was constantly overworked. devin was in significant credit card debt and was barely scraping by between managing a gas station and school. i started making my very first skirts and then at the end of 2015 my arm, the thing that made me what little money i did make, gave out.

i couldn't draw anymore. this could have literally ended my art career, but instead devin stepped up. they took a look at all the things i was already selling in my store and figured out a way to repackage/bundle the items together in a way that was fun and appealing. and people actually bought the bundles! at that point the vast majority of my sales were at conventions and i wasn't very good at selling online, but that was the beginning of a new era. devin started working with me part time to manage the online store and go with me to conventions and things started getting better. at some point during this saga we finally bought a goddamn label printer.

by 2017 devin started working with me full time. we also got married and moved across the country to upstate NY. in 2018 we got a CPA and became an SCORP and monsterpop became a finalist for the prism comics award, which scored me an invite as a guest at SDCC. i really wish i had enjoyed that experience, but unfortunately i was dealing with some Bad Medication Issues and was extremely sick the whole weekend. otherwise it was great tho and devin had enough fun for the both of us. this is also around when i officially stopped taking freelance work. prior to that i'd only been taking a couple jobs a year, but the store was finally making enough that i could stop.

in 2019 i made the difficult decision to end monsterpop. this came with a lot of heartache but it was the right thing to do. i am much better now for it. i think 2019 is also when we became an SCORP.

we hired our first employee (lindsy) in, i think 2021. it might have been the end of 2020. and in 2022 we hired our second employee (ariel), who had been modeling for us already for a couple years bc she is our very close friend and actually the reason we moved out to NY in the first place. in late 2022 we started working with ash, who now manages our product supply chain and also is patterning new garments for us.

there's probably a bunch of stuff i've missed but this is roughly it! neither devin nor i were able to succeed until we started working together. our strengths and weaknesses complimented each other well and somehow things just worked out.

and if you take away nothing else from this, please leave with this info: if you sell and ship any amount of product online buy a goddamn label printer

[kero-cure]

I asked the popular tart shop in my country to make Smosh tarts and this is what I got.

WHOA!! That looks cute. (Sorry for my suck ass photo shooting skills.) I didn't expect that to be their faces at all! I expected it to be like an ordinary pattern. Wow, It surprised me a lot. But my prediction about having a Smosh logo on it was right. Color looks pretty bland (I expected this to be more colorful) but I’m gonna judge this by the taste. Also, I can feel that these monochrome colors represent them being opposites through the color of black and white. Like day and night. yin and yang. That’s actually them. So that’s all ok for me

This is the card that matched the theme I ordered. And have flavor descriptions written on the back. That was long. I'm not sure if these are descriptions about dessert or essays about our boys. lol. Don’t worry. I’ll translate all of these.

(But first, let me tagged @ianthoni , thank you so much for waiting for me)

So, what are these?

This is made-to-order tarts that I ordered from a famous shop in my country. This shop usually makes tarts based on movies, series, etc,. And somehow it became popular among fangirls in lots of fandom. I saw them order tarts in their favorite anime, characters or talents, even their ships. People were so impressed about how this shop selected all the ingredients that can relate and tell the story about the requested theme. Even though it's pretty costly (around 30 usd, because it's made-to-order and they need lots of research), It's still popular and recommended by many customers.

I ordered one set about my favorite anime around last year and I was so impressed. (I wanna talk about this sometime too) So, This year is a nice year that I came back to this fandom and knew about how amazing and heartwarming that friendship is. I decided to order these and I'm gonna share with you guys about how it came out.

Note before start: 1. I understand that analyzing real people is WAY more difficult than fictional characters. Surely they, Even I can't pick up all of the story and every dimension of them into one piece of tart.

2. I only gave them a bunch of reference videos and interviews because I want to give them freedom to analyze by their own way, on their pov, not just sticking on our idea. So pov from people outside fandom might be different from ours. But I'll include some of my analysis and additions in the descriptions too. (Although my additions are… pretty long because it was so much fun to write lmao)

3. I’m not good at writing food reviews. But I’ll do my best to describe the taste.

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Let’s start.

First two are about our boys. I read the description and found out that they were focused on their childhood background, personal story and their personalities. They have the same base of tart crust. One is black and one is white. Look at the chocolate cream shapes. This might be their hairstyle back to the peak period. (Emo hair and bowl hair cut)

Anthony Flavor: cacao cream and passion fruit curd / rock chocolate with milk mousse 

Mousse with rock - Represent his childhood period that should be fun like ordinary children but wasn’t. He was being the shy and silent boy who came from a broken home with not much money. And even had one time suffered with a long period illness that made him absent from school for a while. Like the mousse that should be smooth but have a hard rock chocolate mixed with it.

Passion Fruit - Fruit that provides freshness and energy. Also enhances all the flavors. Literally, Represent his passion. After he met his life-changing transfer student in grade 6, The radiance and many things that he received from that person made his life brighter than before. That also inspired him and made him move forward to try something new and make him shine. Included learning to make his own website (I think this paragraph talks about the aftermath of getting a get well soon card) and continued to develop it into the work that he wants to do. Overflowing energy inside his mind made him stand up and won’t let all troubles in the past limit himself.

Cacao - Have a little bitter taste but make us feel energetic. Represents all of the struggle to get what he desires, no matter how difficult it is. Even though he had to face lots of problems that heavily affected him, and hard times that made him despair. He still keeps moving forward and wants to make his wish come true although the way until he reaches the goal is tough and not easy to get over it. One of his wishes was to take the friendship that he lost back. That was not easy at all because he was trapped by fear and feeling of guilt. But when he got a chance, He took it without any hesitation.

Taste: First taste when I took a bite was the passion fruit’s sour taste that mixed with milk cream inside. It was pretty hard to cut it with a fork because of the rock chocolates. But it brings a good crunchy texture when I eat. (Talk about crunchy texture. This reminds me of one episode of Lunchtime where he prefers crunchy peanut butter for some reason) And the last bite is when I took all of the taste from cacao, passion and crunchy cream together and I feel so satisfied and fresh. This is the only tart that has fruits included, and the fruity taste was outstanding. Like the shop said that his passion makes him shine. And I think maybe, just maybe, they selected passion fruit because it usually has lots of seeds that might represent his tattoo also.

Ian Flavor: peanut butter cream and milk chocolate ganache / pink frosting with milk financier

Financier - Like the previous one, Milk represents the childhood period. But unlike his partner, He was born into a big family that was supportive and warm. So the taste of milk in this piece has a richer and smoother taste.

Frosting - This represents a pink frosted sprinkled donut. Frosting gives us a sweet taste and the color of pink usually means love. This represents the love that he shares and receives with his family. And not only his actual family, His friends and people in crews are his found family that he shares and receives all the love too. He's a beloved person and cares for everyone. (And all of the brightful love is so powerful that it can ignite the passion of someone I talked about above)

Peanut Butter - Ingredients that have a high level of energy source. Represent his effort and consistency that put into the work. And because It is the main ingredient often used in energy-boosting foods for long-distance runners, This represents running that he was doing back then too. And he compared Smosh to cross-country in a watch party and said about keep going and keep running even in the hardest time too. Even though problems and hard times come to him. He chooses not to show his negative thoughts (If I said in a bit negative way, It's "hide everything inside")  but instead, his powerful radiance and energy will make him move forward many times, and can motivate others to move forward with him. Now he has reached the goal of regaining his friendship, But the running path hasn't ended yet.

Milk Chocolate - This is chocolate that has a high percentage of milk. So it shows the childishness that is still within him.

Taste: Compared to the first one, this is all creamy ingredients. When I first saw this I was wondering “Where is the pink frosted sprinkled donut?” because I only saw his face. And when I cut (Much easier) I saw a pink layer. It even has colorful sprinkles! That’s so cute, like a layer of cake that has berry sauce inside. And it layered on top of financier that were smooth and rich like they said. Taste of milk chocolate with peanut butter. Little crunch from sprinkles. And the cake inside. All of these make this piece of tart sweet and lovely. And I think that hidden pink layer kinda represents his cold look outside (Like someone said) but inside is colorful and creative. (And I kinda think that what if crunchy sprinkle can represent his hidden obstacle too?)

And these two pieces are about Smosh and their journey together from the beginning until now. These two are black and white and have big channel logos. And like the first two pieces, Black and white tart crust for each piece. (Location changed because I ate it the next day. Too many sugars in one day aren’t good for almost 30’s like me)

Flavor: dark chocolate ganache and white chocolate mousse with vanilla custard bacon crisp and coffee cacao nibs cremeux with lavender honey cake

Chocolates - The colors of black and white placing alternately represent them being different but came from the same beginning. Like these two types of chocolate that have different taste and texture, But both are chocolate. They share the same perspectives, interests and sense of humor. Fulfilling each other. And led to them start creating and presenting their ideas to the world. Through the days that passed, sometimes happy, sometimes sad, Make this also represented the time they spent together by the tastes that were both bitter and sweet that mixed together. As well as chocolate helps the brain to make serotonin; a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good and also decreases stress and pain levels. The two of them brought smiles and happiness to the audiences through Smosh that they joined their creative power together and were successful for a long time.

Vanilla and bacon - Weird combination that is not usually used together, But it creates something new and different from the normal flavors and has a unique identity. Becoming a Youtuber was a new thing at that time. No one knows if it will succeed or not, but they still choose this path and go for it with full force. The store described this part like this. But I think this might be interpreted to their unique sense of creativity that maybe looks weird but surprisingly harmonizes together and is addictive too.

Coffee - Have a bitter taste that is usually used to describe “Taste of being adult”. Enjoyment isn't the only thing they have to consider, Business and creativity grow along with it too. When they decided to sell their channel, Their channel wasn’t only about enjoyment anymore and lots of responsibility was necessary. They had to make lots of content and do a lot of things. Without realizing it, Their relationship slowly changed from “best friend” to “business partner that works together”. Distance started to appear between them who used to be very close.

Cacao Nibs - Bitter small pieces that look like piles of dust. Represents all of the outside problems and hidden feelings that piled up between them without enough conversation to dust it off. Even if it was just a small thing, If it was too much, It can become a big wall in their way. Sadly, They reached the point that they couldn’t break the wall, Leading to them driving apart later.

Honey - Known as an ingredient that will not expire. Represent their long-lasting friendship. Even though they had changed a lot, been apart for years and still had so many untold feelings, They finally realized that their bonds are much stronger and deeper than they thought and all of the precious memories they shared have never faded. Something between them still remains and never changed by the time at all. You can see it clearly in lots of videos that their dynamics when they’re together are still the same as when they were young.

Lavender - Means "I'm missing and waiting for you" in flower language (I researched about this. It's more like from Japan). They really missed each other even though they’re successful in their own way. They realized that something was missing when they were separated. When they looked back at the old memories they shared together for many years, They felt the solid and perfect dynamic of each other that never felt the same with anyone else. Also we missed them and waited for them to be in the same video (even though it might be just a short collaboration, we wished for this) for a long time too. We really missed the atmosphere of their sketches and dynamic when they were together. And now they finally get back together and make funny sketches again. The Feelings of “missing you” are strong, And their and our waiting was worth it.

Taste: First, I wasn’t sure which is the first piece of this pair. So I cut the white crust first and voila! Bacon. Lots of meaty bacon inside the custard. I heard that mixing meat with sweets is surprisingly delicious, but I never tried something like this before. I took a bite and, Whoa! How can I describe this correctly? It was like bacon cream pasta but went along well with two types of chocolates. The little sweetness of custard and the scent of bacon harmonized so well. How? That's good, dude! I was so surprised by this piece, and felt like “I wanna try this again”. So, this represents their sense of humor that combines well and is addictive, making us want to watch more of their content.

And here we come. The last piece of this art. I cut the black crust and I saw the layer of brown and white. And when I tasted a cream that stuck on my fork, I was like OHHHHHH!? The scent of lavender was so obvious. So first, I slowly tasted each part of this. Black and white chocolate that mixed well and smooth like the first one of this pair. The layer of coffee cream was bitter. It had no sugar on this. Just bitter, with cacao nibs that have no sugar added too. Bitter like them when they were about to part. Amount of cacao nibs was not that small either. Like I said, On the camera (double chocolate) they still had good dynamics like always. But inside, they had problems and untold words that filled between them so much that they reached the point that they couldn’t pass anymore. But the deepest layer of this piece was sweet and fragrant lavender honey. Something between them still remains since they were young. Old sweet memories about each other are always in their heart. And the scent of lavender, which means “Missing and waiting for you” was outstanding. Represent their strong feelings that want to be with each other again. These two combinations were powerful enough that could cover up the bitterness of coffee. And this can be interpreted as “Because they came through the bitterness, They finally can reach the sweetness that is still there” / “No rain, No rainbow”. They passed the big trial of their relationship and their bonds are now stronger and deeper than before. Even though I finished this piece, the scent of lavender still remained in my mouth. I had internal screaming over this piece. Tart shop owner really got me. That was freaking beautiful. Thank you so much.

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After I read the descriptions and ate the final piece, Let me say something.

I always believe. Only nostalgic feelings about their old memories about the contents online won't be enough for them to decide to be together again. But the lots of memories about each other, lots of times that they spent together, and how each other shaped their life for a long time since they were teens are the reason why. Each other's existence is one of the important parts of their life. Like the quote “Without you, I’ll never be like this. I am who I am now because of you”. Feeling of desire to take the aparted relationship back that the very first and main reason wasn’t about “Bringing nostalgia back for everyone”, But it was about “To befriend with each other again”, Led them to reconnect, Cured the wounded hearts, Fixed the mistakes back then, And decided to start their journey again, Together.

Everything started since we met Although there are days when we hurt each other But just being able to think "I want to be with you" Will lead us to a tomorrow we don't know yet

-「fragile」 by Every Little Thing, 2001

That’s it for these tarts. Sorry for the long post but I hope you guys like it. It was pretty hard to translate all of these descriptions from my native language to English with some (that actually not some, but a lot lmao) of my thoughts there. And this is surely my longest English post I have written online yet. So my grammar might broken. But I used lots of effort for my little project and I'm satisfied :D

[marvelmusing]

I don’t do this a lot, so hopefully I’m doing it right. So, my birthday was yesterday and it just kinda sucked. Was wondering if I could put in a request for Billy? Like maybe something where either everyone forgot her birthday or possibly where Billy knows she doesn’t have a great history with her birthday and he tries to do something really nice for her. You don’t have to write anything if you don’t want. I literally love your work though. It’s near constantly that I’m on your page. 💗

Of course, sorry this took a few days (and that it’s quite short) but I hope it lifts your spirits a little. Sending lots of love your way ❤️

-

Birthday Treat

Billy is incredibly observant. Every single thing he learns or notices about you he files away for a later use. Whatever you want for your birthday, Billy is a hundred percent committed to making sure you get it.

He reminds all of his employees that your birthday is approaching, so that when he comes home on your birthday, his bag is full of cards for you from them all.

When you arrive home, you find Billy standing at the kitchen sink with his sleeves rolled up, snipping the stems of a beautiful bouquet of flowers that he’s assembling in a vase for you.

He grins at the surprised look on your face.

“Hey you. Happy birthday.”

Billy is always attentive, but you hadn’t expected this and you wrap an appreciative arm around his waist as you cup the head of one of the flowers in your hand.

“Thank you,” you say quietly as you admire the flowers before sneaking a glance over at Billy.

Hands wet from cleaning the stems, he nudges his hip against yours affectionately as a response, before he presses a kiss to your cheek and nods towards the plentiful stack of envelopes on the kitchen counter.

“You’ve got some mail.”

As he continues to ensure your bouquet is arranged to perfection, you open up the cards and place them on the countertop so that Billy can see them and ask you who they’re from.

Whenever there’s some names you don't recognise, Billy jumps in with an answer of who they are which brings a smile to your face.

Once he’s finished with the flowers, he carries the vase himself, placing it in whatever spot you point out and he adjusts the angle this way and that to make sure that it looks perfect.

The ingredients for your favourite meal are already waiting in the fridge for Billy to retrieve them and begin making dinner for the two of you. If you enjoy cooking then Billy might let you help him, but he very much wants to do it for you.

The two of you will talk and your days, things you have planned for the week, new TV shows or films you want to watch together. All the while, Billy is making dinner and you set up the table.

Billy is incredibly aspirational when it comes to your birthday cake, and had arrived home early to begin baking. It certainly isn’t his forte but he tries his hardest to mimic whatever design he had seen on the internet that he knew you would love.

He does his best, and is quite pleased with his work, although he is a little worried you won’t like it. So, as a back up, he also brings out a tray of store bought cupcakes, a birthday candle slotted on each of them.

Billy serenades you with his own version of ‘happy birthday,’ with added vocal flourishes because he’s a show off that likes to remind you he has a good singing voice. He grins at the sight of you rolling your eyes, your face visible even after he had turned off the lights due to the extensive number of candles spread over cupcakes and cake.

When you blow out the candles, he jokes about leaving the lights off so that you won’t be able to see the cake. The smile on your face widens when he turns the light back on and you see your cake. It isn’t a perfect replica of what Billy had wanted but to you it’s perfect.

The cake crumbles into a bit of a heap as Billy cuts two slices but with your help you manage to scoop it onto your plates. He seems surprised at how good it tastes, and the glimmer of pride in his eyes makes it even better.

Once you’ve finished your cake, Billy tells you that he’s taking you for a drive and that you’re getting ice cream for the trip.

So, that is how you spend the rest of your evening, with Billy driving you around the city, car heater chasing away the chill of the night as the stars come out of hiding and the radio hums away with a familiar tune.

The ice cream might numb your tongue but it gives you the wonderful sweetness of a birthday treat as you watch Billy’s hands on the wheel while he drives, humming along to the radio.

[lunapwrites]

having a bit of a bad brainspace weekend.

i am intensely uncomfortable and unable to do things for myself that i normally could do and this is my not-so-friendly reminder that despite the sometimes crippling ADHD and the fact that my GI issues suck i am, in fact, mostly usually quite able-bodied. i am used to things i am not physically able to do being more in the realm of "touching my toes" due to my intense lack of flexibility or "lift my partner" due to him being 3x my size. I've historically been pretty strong and in good shape for someone that is allergic to the gym, so i was not anticipating adding things like "putting on socks" and "rescuing my sweet idiot dog from the couch he's forgotten how to get off of" to that list.

i made the mistake of asking my partner what it looked like i was struggling with rn because i'm not good at recognizing when i actually need to ask for help vs when i can just power through. this was a poor decision because this means that i received an itemized list of my recent failures. not phrased in a way to be hurtful, just expressing frustration because these were all things that i had previously handled myself with ease and now a) was suddenly not doing, or doing inconsistently, and b) was not indicating i needed help with. and he's not trying to step in on his own and make me feel micromanaged or smothered, because he knows i want to do for myself as much as possible (and also i'd probably bite his head off) and he's 100% correct. and he had to kind of sit me down and be like "you are pushing yourself too hard please stop" and i wanted to shake him and scream that i'm not, that i don't feel like i'm doing enough because i am just a pile of disappointments right now. massive laundry lists of things i need to do and can't because literally if i try it physically hurts me.

anyway i really want to write but the second i sit down i either get distracted with something else or fall asleep or sit there vibrating over the things i should be doing but can't so. there's that. [gazes longingly at several half-written WIP chapters wasting away in the corner] i know where they're all going. i just don't have the gas to get us there. and i hate that. especially because i have this intense fear of not having time for writing at all once Bean is here.

idk. everything sucks rn and i hate it here and i don't wish this on anyone. next person who tells me this is a wonderful miracle and that i should feel so blessed is getting a shoe thrown at them. "best thing you've ever done" fuck you. i know what i did and why, but i also knew it was going to suck ass at least 90% of the time. it was, i thought, an informed decision. i either underestimated the level of disability i would be experiencing or overestimated my ability to cope with it. like it's fine it's temporary i will get through it but jesus fucking christ this is rotten work. and not in a "not if it's you" or an "especially if it's you" sort of way, but more of a "despite" situation. i adore this kid so much already but i also want to be able to stand up for more than 5 consecutive minutes without feeling like i might die. i want to be able to have a conversation without immediately being out of breath. and even all of that i feel terrible venting about because in terms of symptoms i am getting off SO FUCKING EASY. it could have been way worse. and i'm bitching about it this hard. bitching about what???

anyway. so begins the final countdown. with me crying hysterically over a bag of fuckin pastries i left on the counter and feeling lower than i think i've felt since '09, which ain't a great feeling.

[deep breath.] everything will be fine. it just sucks right now. and also i really hate writing thank you cards.

[fractalkiss]

tierno (ferrari au) fic notes / commentary

i've tried a couple of times to start writing this post sooner and each time i've just stared at the blank grey space and just closed the text editor. and now it's mid-june. lol how has it been 2 months already since i posted this fic. but i will write this up since i do want to talk about it, belatedly, and it was born out of an au by a friend that i really had a lot of fun coming up with inspired by the lovely art.

concept

obviously this is all thanks to dave @penaltyboxboxbox. i distinctly remember looking at the piece and going 'WOW so cool! how would that work.' i moved along and went back to life. and then a week later i saw it reblogged again on the dash and got slapped in the face by the question. literally how would that work. how would it happen. i love canon divergence sooooo much btw even though i was worried about having to change the year in dave's work from 2017 to 2018 because lol, the fucking research threw me a curveball.

thought that this was going to be fernando pov because to upend and change his ferrari era from loser to championship winner with the red team, would be cool. and then i figured it couldn't work because i already knew what i wanted to happen anyway with him in the fic - that he'd retire after the championships, after ferrari just cannot keep up with the evolving changes in the sport over the years compared to their stronger contenders. retirement is all so anti-climactic and a given, so what the hell would even be interesting there lmao. it would feel like a weird fix-it and i have never done a fix-it fic in my life. let flaws be flaws etc.

so then i started writing this in lance pov, and told myself that this would just be me exploring how would lance be like in a team without his father's direct influence and hold. i say direct, because i'm always reminded of the rumours that lawrence funded some part of fernando's career as well while he was in ferrari, but don't quote me on that those are just (believable and unsurprising) rumours.

process

started writing this early january. and then i did not touch the wip at all or write anything for about 3 weeks in february?? i spent so long just casually trawling for research in between writing the first few scenes because i had not figured out what would be the conflict yet. i asked a couple of friends to read over some of what i had, just to help me point out any blind spots. sometimes i still can't tell how my tone comes off in early draft stages. i kind of knew what i wanted to do with it, i just didn't know yet how to execute it.

thing that never fails to surprise me about writing is that whatever i think would be so fun and exciting to do would STILL turn out to be excruciating and difficult on some days. i think i've made about 6 versions of the draft. i love research and i LOVED that this gave me an opportunity to dig into more things, but at some point, the research felt like too much, but i managed to spread it out in a digestible way in the story. it's challenging to glean what you can from actual canon to use in a fic without it sounding trite or boring, like some mechanical retelling.

ANYWAY. by the time i'd written the 2016 party scene where lance and his gf were eavesdropping on fernando having sex with not-linda, i still had no fucking idea what a good narrative here would be. i was distracting myself by making the playlist, and choosing to just move around parts of the wip here and there in the doc aimlessly just to see some things and hope that i'd figure it out. to put it simply: fernando wins a few championships (stared at some of the details in dave's art, and got tickled at the cards and their numbers) then retires. ok. and lance would eventually move on from ferrari, which he will at some point if they don't give his seat to someone else, but he'd have his father to fall back on so ok. how boring.

and then i realized, hold on, that SUCKS actually. that would kind of be a huge fucking bummer if you were already finally living out a childhood dream with the team almost every racing driver dreamt of. huge bummer when your big fat crush retires as well after a harrowing but magical year of finally getting the validation you wanted.

there's something devastating about how quickly athletes are forced to grow up, and with lance, the issue is both obvious but also it's complicated. it's not as if he doesn't possess any autonomy to make his own decisions, but there's a certain agency you're not entirely granted with when you do something with a parent, no matter how loving and giving that parent is to you. lance is like...the schrodinger's cat of an adult but i could say the same about all of these men and people born into wealthy privilege, or people who could never just bear to cut off their parents, to some extent. of course it's fernando who has to tell lance this in the story: "I will tell you something your father won't. You are upset because you know now what it feels like, to have people support you and your racing ability without him."

also something really devastating about how family is just a self-fulfilling prophecy. i love that word, self-fulfilling. i think it's tragic and i do think everything about ferrari is tragicomedy so it goes hand in hand.

this is why i also think andrea stella and fernando's driver-engineer relationship is compelling: fernando has everything he should have to win, except the one thing they can't grant him. but he thinks he should be grateful to be in the team, and he's teetered back and forth between demanding everything he should have and not wanting to fuck things up when he's fighting for championships, so he clings on to the belief that ferrari seems to carry, that ferrari makes you feel, and you can hear the trust in andrea stella's radio messages to fernando that i (and plenty of others) believed was kind and steady and almost nurturing to fernando in getting the most of the car and helping to fine-tune his strengths as a driver amidst the pressure. you can't truly say that luca baldisserri following lance to williams after the fda was even close to a similar parallel done entirely out of devotion, but i'd like to think it was duty, on luca's part. plus, if engineering young racers' wins in junior series gets you a nice salary from their dads, why not.

highlights of finishing this fic were:

getting to see beautiful and harrowing fanart of the fic by dave.

writing and getting to share the research and lore i gathered in this post. first time actually trying to put something like this together, and it was so fun... i love putting in my little captions under photos and adding in sources.

some of my fave lines from the fic:

"Thanks. You too," Lance replied, and Fernando's smile crooked up into a real one, sharp enough that it fish-hooked a fresh wave of fascination in Lance's stomach. Perfect teeth, Lance thought to himself as he ran his tongue along the back of his own.

There's a saying that Fernando's mother taught Edoardo. The saying is Spanish, Edo's words lilting in a thin curl that Lance had to lean forward a bit to hear it again: La cabra tira al monte. The goat always takes to the mountains, which then means that you can hold down the goat in a pen but that won't change where it came from. "Fernando has always been who he is, and his heart, always up in the real mountains of his home," Edoardo said, raised his glass of lemonade in mock salute, and Fernando silently flicked a card at Edo's direction across the birch table almost childishly. That race weekend in Montreal, the weather stays the same, as clear and beautiful outside as it had been all week.

Lance stops idly rolling the pen he's been holding, a habit he'd gained from writing the confidence mantra they'd made him do at the academy. "Well. Can't beat a dead horse." "Beat, what?" "Luca was done here," says Lance, shifting in his seat. "So I'm saying that it's pointless because uh, the horse is dead and you can't like, get it to move." He makes a whipping motion with his hand.

As a teenager, Fernando had Ayrton Senna's picture stuck on the inside of his closet above his racing gear. For all of Lance's responses to the obligatory interview question that asked who his favourite driver was, he never had Fernando's picture up in his bedroom. Didn't exactly need it when Fernando's been around for years now, coming and going at Dad's invitations in the warmest season like object permanence developed through red-toned photos of a memory.

i love the theory of object permanence so much btw!! just saying.

writing anything new lately has been um...well. i thought i could do it again last week, but it turns out i'm still not fully back into it yet. and that's fine. i signed up for a fest (non-motorsport fandom) so...pray that it will help me kill the fears. guess i'll also go back to my attempts for other fic ideas, we will get through this. i'm trying to write more intentionally, less reactionary, so i guess if that means putting out less things then this is positive at least. hope i have fun along the way is all!