#writing fics is easy because the characters do dumb stuff in canon | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clericofshadows · 10 months ago

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as always your tags!!! you've given me so much to talk about lol

see your tags just give me inspo for more fics and snippets, like ash walking into wren's office like, "hey Regis--oh shit sorry wren" or some dumb recruit wanting to see if they can make it to Regis's bedroom. fun stuff

wren's definitely working with EDI in secret ;) I need to finish my lotsb write up to establish her presence... one day... I'll likely just truncate the vasir parts and make something else up because it's sooo long... it's so fun making a better shadow broker. sorry liara but like--you suck at this. let's make the role more interesting and actually something useful.

anyway. X-57 is one of Ashley's "defining" missions the same way I gave Kaidan Overlord in another fic and also Arrival. which is something else I need to write (or at least the aftermath and reflection).

this fic was really an exploration into ash's headspace about a lot of things. her friends and regis and their relationships. how they ended up here, trying to not feel like an outsider because everything has changed, but also not really. I feel like she's a great observer, quietly noticing all the details without making herself known. picking up on a lot of subtle things here and there. she's more of an infiltrator class in my mind instead of soldier. I also enjoyed writing some natural humor here and there from her. she knows she's funny :D.

adrian is so fun to write as well, I need to put him in more stuff. really, he's the best way to learn about atlas. twin brother who is nothing like him personality wise but is identical in appearance.

ashley is also my own spokesperson for zaeed, because when I first played the game and saw his arms on his recruitment I also let out an audible DAMN. and was sad I couldn't romance him.

again, anyway. zaeed and ashley is a friendship that just works to me. I figured giving them something hands on to work on would be a good way for them to connect and everything just fell into place. that dinner is going to be interesting for sure. he regrets everything.

I feel like zaeed is very much a hands on, always need to be doing something kind of guy. so it made sense for him to want to work on her gun, to offer help anyway he can, to clear the air in an environment he likes. I also feel like he doesn't draw much attention to himself when not on the battlefield, so he's very casual in a surprising way to some. this legendary merc hanging out in a quiet corner of the ship, offering help if you are respectful about it.

I love communication. these characters are going to talk and make sure they're all on the same page, y'all! yet another fic I need to finish is the meet the parents one oops. ashley is glad that regis has people out there, especially back on the cerberus SR-2. but zaeed's thankful that he didn't have everyone he trusted on board that ship because of the suicide mission.

regis honestly doesn't dwell on the deaths much, but isn't going to talk about it unless someone brings it up. in his case, they knew the score. they knew the risks. he was in his torfan mindset and made some rough calls, but as far as he's concerned, it was a success. makes some things interesting later (rip to quarian and geth peace) but I think it fits his canon well. sorry garbus you are nothing to him.

the widow is another thing I really enjoyed writing about. another call back to Regis marking all his stuff with that skull symbol, and what happens when it's in the hands of another. I'm not sure if kaidan even knows about the coords, but it's zaeed's way of continuing regis's traditions of remembrance. he has a lot of those. the scarves and ring for his dad, the skull symbol on the back of his neck and on his armor for torfan, and now zaeed continues it with the location of alchera.

I can't write my triad without them teasing regis in some way. he's so easy to rile up, and everyone suffers. for some reason I just love writing kaidan as the instigator with a lot of things (even if regis was the one that made the first move in both cases lol), so zaeed compliments that well. all ashley is thinking is "oh god there are two of them now." but she likes knowing regis has them. and that things will be okay, better now that she knows exactly who has his back.

ahh there's so much to ramble about but yes, you get it. your tags always bring a smile to my face.

outside looking in

Description: Ashley finally has a chance to talk to and meet Zaeed in person onboard the Normandy and wants to get the know the man that has stolen both Regis's and Kaidan's hearts.

Pairing: Regis Shepard/Zaeed Massani/Kaidan Alenko

Notes: Part of my overall Regis Shepard series. Wren is my Shadow Broker, an N7 Fury and my replacement for Liara.

It was nice being back on the Normandy, even if she’d changed a lot since her first iteration. Larger, brighter, and filled with crew new and old. A similar hum throughout the ship.

But it was different all the same. The first few hours on the ship, Ashley nearly barged straight into Wren’s quarters despite knowing in the back of her mind that those weren’t Regis’s anymore, now housed at the top part of the ship, accessible via a specific keycode. Or a brave trek through the engineering tubes and vents throughout the ship.

The moment she came onboard, he handed her the credentials with a wink before heading off to the center of the CIC, already barking orders and preparing the ship for the initial checks to leave the Citadel.

Without Kaidan. A fucking terrible business. She had no idea how Regis was handling it, dodging her attempts to ask him about it by talking about Kaidan's condition. Wren was quiet about the mission when she asked, which was never a good sign.

She took an interest in the mech, which didn't surprise her. Probably why she was so tight lipped about it. Regis likely didn't want that thing working ever again.

There was also Zaeed, also joining her on the Normandy, hand in hand with Regis before he slipped down to Engineering… How was he taking this as well? She didn’t know him well, only talking to him a few times over vid calls during the two years before Regis was brought back. And then there was little time at all to get to know each other during the prep work after Regis brought the SR-2 back to the Alliance, right after he and Kaidan destroyed the Alpha Relay.

Wren was absolutely terrifying for what she was able to leverage to get them off scott free and twist it up into a Cerberus venture, a plan nearly foiled by Regis and Kaidan until it was too late. Only a small group knew what Kaidan chose to do in Regis's place, what Hackett had originally ordered for them to do.

Ashley remembered Hannah Shepard warning her in a meeting with her not long before she decided to take up the N trials.

“There will be a time that you will face something like Torfan. I hope it’s something far better than what my son had to face.”

She considered hers Asteroid X-57. Those burnt bodies still haunt her some nights, but she wasn’t about to let Bahak get away. Millions of lives were at stake.

Still, it was hard getting used to some of its changes. EDI was… friendly, but a bit disconcerting at first, ready to answer any question Ashley had, which she was grateful for. Regis sang her praises, but she had partially chalked that up to his cybernetics and VI background.

A small thought popped in her head wondering if Cerberus used EDI because of that. She’d have to ask him about it later.

It was good having Chakwas on board as well, and Adams was another happy sight. She missed seeing Tali right there next to him, challenging him with questions and her own tweaks.

Hopefully she’s doing okay out there. Messages have been spotty, but she’s with her people right now.

Good to see Joker as well. She got a little closer to him after Alchera, after all the shit that had happened, but lost touch after she started N trials. She often wondered if she could've stopped him from joining Cerberus.

Doubtful. He’s a stubborn bastard and even if he and Regis pretend to hate each other's guts, it must’ve been nice to have a few familiar faces. She later got the impression Regis hated that they joined Cerberus, but was secretly a little relieved to not be out in the black on his own.

She still had yet to really get to know Vega and Cortez, as well as Regis’s new specialist all up in his business at the CIC. She’s sure he loves that, but he doesn’t need to focus on every damn little thing. Especially not now when everyone wants to hear from the great Commander Shepard.

It’s also nice having some of his family on board. Adrian seems to have already gotten on well with Cortez and Joker, being a pilot himself, and Regis seems a lot lighter knowing his uncles are by his side. Vikram has made themself at home in the medbay, which surprised her when she realized they weren’t staying behind with Kaidan despite their knowledge on implants and biotics.

Concern for what they clearly consider a son likely outweighed that. She hoped it wouldn’t backfire on Kaidan, but surely they’re keeping an eye on that situation as well.

At least Regis is now not the only Spectre on board.

She found herself back in front of the elevator and decided to check on Zaeed. Introduce herself a little less formally and maybe get to know the man that helped Kaidan heal, and later kept a close eye on Regis when he was in the belly of the beast.

They never mentioned him much at all on the SR-1. One time she caught them on a call with him, but it seemed friendly. Not romantic. Something that never crossed her mind beyond an interesting friendship, it seemed. When she asked about it Regis only smiled and called him an “old friend” which was accurate, she supposed.

And Kaidan told her a few months after Alchera there wasn’t anything between the three of them after they met in Omega, only during–really, you and Regis took a shore leave on Omega?--but that they all wanted it. Too damn late to do anything about it.

Regis seemed to melt in his presence. Maybe he treated him like a lifeline, scared for Kaidan and holding onto his other love. He looked at Zaeed like he hung the damn moon, the same way he looked at Kaidan once they were open about their relationship.

She was happy for them. An odd couple, truly, two alliance soldiers–two human goddamn Spectres–and a merc damn near twice their age. Not that she judged them for that. She could see why they were interested in him purely from an aesthetic perspective. Zaeed wasn’t really her type, but those arms and tattoos? Damn.

Hell, every time she talked to Kaidan in those two years, he always brightened when talking about Zaeed. Happy that he at least had someone that really knew Regis.

There aren't a lot of those out there.

A part of her still can’t believe Kaidan was the one that goaded Regis into doing that authorization, but those two have always surprised her. Teaching her to not judge a book by their damn covers, that’s for sure.

So she’s trying to do the same for Zaeed. She wants to be friendly with him–friends even. And she hoped he was open to that.

She entered in Deck 4 as her destination and waited for the short trip down. As the doors opened, she saw Regis walking down the hallway away from Zaeed's corner of the ship. He waved at her, and she noticed he was wearing his Alliance officer uniform, a clean blue leather jacket with grey detailing.

It looked a little broad in the shoulders… must be Kaidan’s, then.

“What are you doing down here?” He asked, stuffing his gloved hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“I can't explore the ship?” She teased.

He smiled, shaking his head. “No, that's my job.”

“I wanted to talk to Zaeed for a bit,” she said. Especially before they get to Menae. She was sure Zaeed would be on that ground team but had no idea who else Regis would bring down with him. “Haven't got to really know the man that stole both of your hearts. Think he'll be okay with that?”

A light blush dusted his cheeks, making the red lines of his cybernetics appear to glow even brighter. “We've talked about you a lot to him, so I can't imagine why he wouldn't. He's working on his Widow stuff now. He's got some good tools,” he said with a knowing look. “Bring by something you want to tune up and he might let you use his kit.”

“Well, I do have to work on my Piranha. It's not as efficient,” she said. “I'll grab it from the armory.”

“And I'll let him know you're dropping by, just in case. He won't bite,” he said, and she shook her head at him.

“Maybe not me,” she said, testing the waters, seeing if Regis was fine with her teasing him about Zaeed. By the way Regis blushed and nearly hid a shy smile, he seemed perfectly fine with it.

If you would've told her when she started on the Normandy that Regis Shepard would blush at any suggestive comment about his relationship, she would’ve thought you were crazy.

It’s cute. One minute he’s threatening whoever is in his way and the next he’s all starry-eyed with his boyfriend.

He cleared his throat. “I won't disagree with that. Go get your shotgun and I'll send him a message. Unfortunately I can't spend all my time hanging out with my boyfriend.”

“I know, right? It's terrible. Let me know if you ever need to take a load off. You made me the temp XO for a reason.” She keyed in Deck 5 to get to where she stored her weapons.

“Don't worry, I will. When Kaidan gets back on board… I'll have two damn XOs. What are they going to do? Tell me no?” He stepped in the elevator with her and queued up Deck 2. “Meet me for dinner in my cabin after the mission? Good time to catch up.”

“I won't be intruding?”

“Hell no. I guarantee you and Zaeed will be fast friends and that's kind of a terrifying thought. I need my best squad to like each other, you know?” He laughed as the doors opened. “Why so worried?” He kept the doors open with a hand over the sensor.

“He's so important to you. The both of you. I guess I want to make a good impression.”

He snorted, and she tried to not show surprise at that. “I appreciate it, but trust me. I think you'll get along just fine. Like I said, we've told stories about you. He's a story kind of guy. If he tells you an old tale of his, you've made it on his good side.”

“Thanks, Regis.” She smiled at him and shut the elevator doors with a wave of his omnitool.

She nodded at Cortez who was currently working on the shuttle and noticed Vega doing pullups in his little corner of the ship. Adrian was rummaging through his locker, grinning at her as she made her way over to hers a few doors down.

“What're you up to?” He asked, reaching for an Acolyte. She didn't stick him for an asari weapon kind of guy, but then again, he was with a matriarch.

“Grabbing my Piranha and seeing if I can get to use Zaeed's tools,” she said, grabbing it from the rack.

“Oh! Good choice. He's got all the good shit. Maybe some illegal shit too, but that's when you know it's good,” he replied with a grin. “What's wrong with it?”

“I modded it to use the older heat sinks? You know, the better ones,” she said, watching as he nodded along. “But the heat dissipation is complete shit all of a sudden and I can't seem to figure out why.”

“Zaeed loves working on older stuff. Might have a solution for you,” he replied. “And maybe you can size him up too, seeing if he's worthy of your boys.” He winked.

Regis warned her that he was pretty good at reading people.

“They aren't my boys,” she said with a startled laugh. “I think they can take care of themselves.”

“That they can,” he said, but a pained look crossed his face for a moment, likely thinking about Kaidan. Shit. “I never would've guessed the kid would've gone for two men, but he seems to be at peace with himself. Of course, I saw that with Kaidan too, but despite everything, I can tell he's very happy with what they have.”

“I've seen it too,” she said. “Acting like newlyweds on the SR-1, those matching scarves and shit.”

A smile graced his face, but it almost seemed melancholic. “It has always made me happy to see them taking up my brother's tradition.”

It was Regis's father who started that? She never knew. Thought it was Regis's way of showing off their relationship.

“Regis has found every way he can to connect himself to Atlas,” Adrian continued. “I think he would've loved Zaeed.” He cleared his throat. “At any rate, is this the first time you've met? I figured Kaidan would've introduced y'all at some point.”

She wanted to tell him that Kaidan wasn't the only one he continued it with, as her own scarf was sitting with her some of her gear but the moment had passed.

She'll make a point to ensure he sees it on her gear the next time she needs to suit up.

“It's the first time I've been able to talk with him alone,” she offered.

“I get it. You'll be fine. Be yourself.”

She laughed and grabbed her own personal repair kit before heading back over to the elevator. It took no time at all to be back in front of Starboard Cargo. A quick glimpse at her omnitool only showed a thumbs up from Regis, so that had to be good news.

Ashley made a move to knock on the door, but instead the door opened automatically. Zaeed waved her in and she stepped inside. It was already well lived in with various trophies and knickknacks strewn about along with stacks of extra cargo that had nowhere else to go. A long table lined the wall covered in parts and a top of the line printer. An old and battered M-8 Avenger was pushed to the side, along with a deconstructed Widow.

“Regis told me you had a stubborn gun,” he started, brushing off his grease-stained shirt that did nothing to hide his large arms. Damn. “Tell me about it.”

She put her kit down and extended the gun. “I mod my own stuff, especially this Piranha, and it was working fine, but suddenly my old-style heat sink has shit dissipation. I've tried fixing it myself but it looks to be a proprietary part that I can't find anywhere.”

“Mind if I?” He motioned to the gun. She let him take it. “Spectre channels useless too?”

“Alliance made. I asked around. These days it's too much of a pain in the ass to get,” she shrugged. “Maybe if I had the problem a month ago.”

He scanned it with his omnitool. “Think I found your fucking culprit, but you probably already knew that.”

“The replacement switch?” She said, and he nodded. “Yeah, thought so. I jury rigged it together ages ago because why bother making replacement parts when instead you can make it obsolete?”

He grinned. “You get it. Can't believe Regis fucking embraced the change. Thought he would've bitched about it the whole time.”

“He didn't?”

“No. Somehow, I almost think he liked it better.”

“I'm going to give him such a hard time about it.”

“We'll gang up on him. He won't be able to get a goddamn word in.”

Honestly, she doesn't even know why she was worried at this point.

He continued, “Believe it or not, I think I have the ‘prints to this part around here. If not, Wren might.”

Shit, she didn't even think of asking Wren!

“By your expression I'm guessing you forgot about our lovely little trump card?” He said, his mismatched eyes damn near sparkling with amusement.

“Oh fuck off,” she laughed, sitting down on one of the crates. “I'm still not used to having the entire galaxy at my fingertips!”

“It’s so fucking wild, isn't it? Alliance having their own little shadow organization ran by their best and brightest Ns. Regis is one clever motherfucker for putting Wren in that place.”

“It wasn't like you had many choices, right?”

Regis was mostly tightlipped about what ultimately dealt with the former Shadow Broker. She knows it's all because of the bad feelings around T’Soni and her meddling in his affairs, to put it lightly.

She would pay many credits to give T’Soni a piece of her mind. Sure, it may have benefited the galaxy, and it was nice to see Kaidan truly happy again and to have her best friend back, but the utter entitlement to deal with someone's corpse like that?

She's still surprised Regis let her go.

“No,” he snorted. “The asari who violated his corpse, a drell and former broker agent in poor condition, myself, Regis, and Wren. I thought she was going to blast him across the room with that biotic field of hers when he ordered her to deal with the network.”

“She's definitely embraced it. Dare I say even likes it.”

“That we can agree on,” he said, starting to dismantle her gun. “Never used one of these. Helluva gun though.”

“Has a lot of kick and bite. I love it.”

He keyed in something on the printer display. “Lucky for us, I do have the older specs. Won't even be a hassle to improve on your mod. Good job, by the way. Almost perfect. Going to use your scan to improve the tolerance.”

She smiled under the praise. “Williams’ take care of their shit.”

“And so do Massani's,” he echoed with a knowing look. “Something tells me you weren't just here for a tune up.”

“Wanted to really get to know the guy that has stolen my best friends’ hearts,” she said, freely admitting her real motives. “I have to say, I was a little curious.”

“Vid calls ain't enough,” he said with a nod. “Been curious about you as well. Never heard Regis sing the praises of a soldier under his command this much until he met you.”

“I've heard that a lot,” she admitted. “Surprised the hell out of me when he said he was nominating me for the N program. Managed to get it though just before Alchera…” she trailed off. “Saw me for me and not my family name.”

“Not sure I follow,” he said, setting down his tools.

Ah, right. So used to working with fellow Alliance she forgot Zaeed wasn't it. But Kaidan did mention to her once that he was a former Alliance, but wasn't in it long. Not enough to care about its history.

“My grandfather was the first human who surrendered to aliens,” she said. “Shanxi.”

“Saved a bunch of lives and all you get is shit,” Zaeed said. “Fucking typical Alliance. Only caring about optics and nothing else.”

She blinked at his response. Huh. “It followed my dad, and then me. And then Regis came along and leveraged his notoriety to help me out.”

“And now you're a goddamn Spectre and an N7. Hope your family is proud.” He crossed his arms. “Are they alright?” His voice was laced with concern, his face softening.

“They're trying to get to the Citadel. I have four sisters,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I've leveraged what resources I can, and I've asked Wren to help out if she can, but it's a struggle.”

“You're a colony kid, right?” He asked.

Ashley nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“Might have some contacts of my own I can leverage. Know a bunch of people out in the black. Let me know,” he returned back to working on her gun, starting to scan her modded part, as if he didn't just offer something that could let a load off her shoulders.

“Thanks. I may have to take you up on that.”

“Give me the details and I'll see what I can do.” He rubbed the Suns tattoo on his neck. “Use something good out of the shit I used to do.”

One of the things Kaidan made clear about Zaeed to her after their first call. It wasn't something that escaped her notice, and she wasn't going to judge, but she did wonder about it.

“He's former Blue Suns. But he's long been out of that life.” “Was I that obvious?” “My parents were a bit worse. But Vik and Adrian made their thoughts clear to them, we may have had a little bit of a love declaration, and the next morning my dad and Zaeed were grilling up some stuff for breakfast.” “How domestic.” “He's… been everything I've needed right now.”

“It seems like damn near everyone on this ship has something they can leverage for the war,” she laughed, hoping to lighten the mood. “I’ll get you the information after the mission. Regis invited me up for dinner, we can talk about it more then.”

He seemed to loosen up, releasing some of the tension in the air. She wondered how many had judged him for his past, and hoped that none of the crew on this ship did. “Regis has gathered himself an odd bunch. But I'll correct some history you may know.”

Ashley raised an eyebrow.

“I wasn't just a ‘Suns. I founded them,” he admitted. “And this–” he rubbed the deep scar on his face. “Was how I left.”

She thought Batarians founded the Suns… Now that's a story she admittedly wanted to hear. She let out a whistle. “And the other guy?”

“Stayed in the fucking Suns until he became dead by mine and Regis's hand. Hunted the bastard down with Wren’s help. Got away from me once, and we ensured he would never get a goddamn chance in hell again,” he said with a nod. There was something else in his tone she couldn't place. Bitterness maybe, as if the revenge wasn't so sweet.

“Good to hear,” she said. The printer chimed, and the part was sitting in the glass enclosure, gleaming in the low light of the room. “Does that mean it's ready?”

He examined it with a close eye. “Sure is.” In no time at all, he swapped out the part and reassembled her gun. He motioned over to a cabinet beside her. “Got some old test cartridges in there. Toss one to me, and I can simulate the dissipation. Won't be the same as a live test, but good enough for now. Doubt we have time to assemble the shooting range down in cargo.”

“Probably not,” she replied, doing as he asked. She found a box labeled with TEST in large block letters scratched on with a marker and grabbed a heat sink. It felt heavier than a normal one. She tossed it to him, and he caught it with a grin.

Once he slotted it inside, he pulled up a larger display and motioned for her to come closer.

It took a moment for him to get it seated and calibrated, but soon enough, the screen filled with diagnostic logs and a live look at the expected capacity. “Aim at that dart board over there and fire a few shots for me.”

She grabbed her gun and felt the weight of it in her hands before aiming and firing many shots in succession. Nothing came out, but the gun acted like it did, having to adjust for the recoil before firing her next shot. He laughed, seeing her initial surprise.

Ashley couldn't help but roll her eyes at him before hitting the cooldown point. Turning to the display, her eyes were on the status, and the heat appeared to dissipate much faster, watching the outputs and feeling the heat on the gun.

She ran through the test a few more times, noticing a good improvement, even better than her original mod, close to how the gun behaved before the big transfer over to the new system.

“Damn, she kicks and spits like she's fresh off the market,” Ashley said, ejecting the test sink and carefully setting it on the workbench. “Thank you. I owe you.”

“Nah, you gave me enough pleasure working on this thing. Might need to try and get one for myself. I'm more of a Raider guy myself.”

Batarian made. Semi-automatic. Not bad.

“And like Regis, you're a Black Widow guy,” she said, nodding at the disassembled gun, collapsing the gun and putting it back down for now.

“Not just any Widow. His old one,” Zaeed said, grabbing the scope off the table.

Ashley recognized the scratched, knife-engraved skull that used to belong to his old squad with the Batarian name for Torfan underneath it. But there was something new, a set of numbers she didn't recognize.

“Lucky bastard was having the gun serviced on Arcturus and was using a newer one before Alchera,” Zaeed said, rubbing his fingers over the engravings. “Those are the galactic coordinates to that fucking wasteland. Since he used this gun to remember Torfan, then I sure as hell was going to remember his grave.”

“I wondered where it ended up,” she said quietly. “Shit, does he know you–”

Kaidan could snipe, but it wasn't his thing, leaving that to Regis and Ashley. She expected the gun to end up with Kaidan or Regis’s mother, but now that she knows about Zaeed, it's obvious why it went to him in the end.

Zaeed shook his head. “If he does, he never said it to me. Probably should've told him, but he had enough reminders of what happened to him on that fucking ship. Didn't need something else from me.”

Something else. “I wish I could've been there for him, but honestly? I could have never worked for Cerberus in any capacity.”

“Good. Regis would've hated it if you did. Hated enough that he had some of his former crew join him. More fights to be had than just ours out there. We were lucky enough as it were.”

Regis lost three people on his squad; she knew that much. From the impression she got from him, it wasn't anyone particularly important to him. Numbers that knew the score and the risks of the mission. A geth, a krogan, and a turian that just so happened to be the one he passed up on their hunt for Saren.

Ashley didn't think those deaths dwelled on him much at all. They weren't mentioned much in his messages and reports either compared to some other members of the crew.

“I'm glad he had you,” she said, holding out a hand. He shook it with a small smile.

“Me too,” he admitted.

“Attention all crew. We are nearing Menae as I speak. Massani, Williams, Shepard, you are on my ground crew for this mission. Suit up and get ready to debrief with me in the conference room ASAP. EDI will give the rest of the crew your others on an as needed basis. Shepard out.” Regis's voice filled the air as quickly as it left, short and succinct as always.

“Guess I'll need to test this out later,” Ashley said, grabbing her unused kit and gun. Zaeed started to get up from his table, shaking his head at his Widow and grabbing a Valiant from his locker.

“Any particular kind of kit you're bringing?” He asked before she left.

“My Valiant, an Executioner, a Valkyrie, and an Eagle,” she replied. “Wearing the same gear Regis does, scarf and all. I’ll bring a few programs to the table thanks to him and Kaidan. Hybrid infiltrator approach, if you know the Alliance standard loadouts.”

“We’ll complement each other well,” he nodded. “All with the benefit that we already know how crazy Regis can be with his damn biotics.”

“Right? A damn shame Kaidan isn't here. God, those two and their biotics… they are one person.”

“That they are. Blew me away when I met them.” A smile tugged at his lips. “Get out of here before Regis starts bitching at us for being late. Good meeting you for real this time. I look forward to dinner.”

“So do I.” She smiled. “You aren't spared from his wrath?”

“Hell no. But don't worry, I can always make the bastard pay later,” he winked.

Ugh. And she thought Kaidan was bad.

“Did not need to know that!”

“Too late. You're friends with me now. Get used to it.”

At that, she walked out of the door with a wave that turned into a middle finger. His laugh echoed through the ship until the door closed back.

That went well.

She looked forward to fighting with him on the battlefield. She still wants the full story out of both Regis and Kaidan, but she could see why they were drawn to him.

At any rate, Regis is happy to have him on board, and really, that's all that matters these days.

When she stopped in front of her cabin to get changed into her undersuit, her omnitool pinged with a message.

ZM: Think Adrian will like the scarves?

An image was attached, showing a picture of a red, blue, and black striped scarf. Clearly, red for Regis, blue for Kaidan, and she imagined they had yellow on theirs to represent him.

AW: I think he will. Didn't know they were a tradition started by his brother. ZM: Regis has found every goddamn way he can to connect to his dad. AW: That he has… I'm glad he got his ring back. Any plans for that? ZM: It wasn't easy, but he got it back in the end. We all have plans, I'm sure.

Really… She's going to find a way to get involved with all of them.

AW: Keep me informed, I'd love to help. ZM: I will, if only because I know you want to be all of our ‘inside persons.’ AW: Guilty as charged!

She closed the chain for now, shaking her head as she started to prep her undersuit. This fucking war wasn't going to be easy, and she feared and prayed for this crew.

Yet, she felt comfort in knowing that she could trust damn near everyone on this ship or come to it eventually.

Yeah, things were going to be okay, despite everything.

#masshenko

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recurring-polynya · 3 years ago

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Do I mind if I ask how you approach writing longer fic? I've always struggled to write anything more than maybe two chapters long and I'm curious if you have a particular method to how you approach such stories.

Thank you so much for this ask! I absolutely love it when people ask me for writing advice because it makes me feel like a Smart Person Who Knows Things.

Before we start, here is one grain of salt to take all of this with: I have a naturally long-form brain. It is very hard for me to write something less than 1k. Short fiction is great, and there is nothing wrong with sticking to short things if that's what your brain likes to do.

So. You have decided to write a story. This is going to focus on "stories". Some people write fic that's more freeform or whatever, I am not going to cover that. What I mean by a story is this:

It starts

Some stuff happens

It ends

It is highly probable that your story contains a change of state, which could be that a villain is defeated, or a goal is reached, but it could also be that character falls in love with another, or someone learns to like broccoli.

I like to start out by completing the sentence, "This is a story where _______". This is basically like coming up with a summary for an ao3 post, except that it doesn't need to be catchy. Lots of different kinds of things could go in that blank! It could literally be what happens: This is a story where Ichigo goes back in time and punches young Aizen in the nose. It could be about what you want to explore: This is a story where Hitsugaya gets a better understanding of his zanpakutou. It could be about the vibe you want to achieve: This is an AU where everyone is in a punk rock band and has cool hair and outfits. The idea of this is to clearly define what you, the author, is interested in writing. Make sure it feels right! Maybe you pick the first one, but when you say it out loud, you say, "You know, I really just want Ichigo to go back in time so he can horse around with young Renji and Rukia and punching Aizen in the nose is just an excuse for that." That may sound dumb, but it's fine, actually! Most people don't read stories strictly for the plot, they read stories for the implications of those plots! Will my favorite two characters kiss? Will there be funny interactions between these two groups of characters? Will there be sick fights? Stories are excuses to have scenes. Sometimes, you will have a story where the interesting sequence of events is the draw, but the point is to know what you're about.

Once you feel happy with your "mission statement", you need to decide the bounds of your story: where it starts and where it ends. It may be easier to start with the end. In some cases, it may be obvious from your mission statement: everyone gets home, a villain is defeated, Kenpachi realizes the meaning of friendship. On the other hand, let's look at that punk rock AU. You've picked a vibe, but you don't really have a natural story arc. It has to have a destination, though, otherwise, it's not really a story, it's a recipe for 3 chapters of an abandoned fanfic. So brainstorm a little: Maybe they get a record deal? Maybe they win a Battle of the Bands? Maybe Byakuya accepts that the band is actually good and tells Rukia he is proud of her. Do not settle for a plot just because it works. Pick something that makes you excited! You're the one who is gonna have to write it!

I said that we needed to pick a beginning point, too, but I'm actually going to skip that for now. The next thing I do is think of all the Big Scenes I want to write, the ones you are hype to write, the ones that pop in your head as you think about the premise. Make a bullet list. They don't need to be in order. The descriptions don't need to be super detailed, but write down anything about it that is important to you. If there's a mood or a snippet of dialogue or a joke you want to make, go ahead and jot that down so you don't forget it later. What you're doing now is putting broad blotches of color on a canvas, filling in space and leaving the detail for later.

Once you are pretty happy with what you have down, try to arrange it in chronological order. Put your end at the end (if it wasn't one of your big scenes, add it now). The next task is figuring out how to traverse your scenes. You've already picked out where you want to spend the majority of your energy. The rest, I regret to tell you, is your slog writing. Now, it often happens that you will find joy in some of these scenes and your best writing may occur there, but that's serendipity. These are the scenes that you are gonna have to make yourself sit down and write, so you honestly want to limit them to just the ones you need.

So how do we do this? Look at the first thing on the list. Can you start there? If so, congrats, that's your beginning. If you can't, what needs to happen to get to there? Where can you start so that you can get to your first fun scene as soon as possible? There. That’s it. You’ve picked your beginning, good job! Now, go through the rest of your list, and add in things that must happen, even if you don’t particularly look forward to writing them. The characters need to travel from geographic point A to point B. Shuuhei needs to say something that Izuru hears and misinterprets. The Central 46 makes a new law. If you have a good idea of how these things happen, go ahead and write them down, but it’s okay if you don’t know yet. Fill in all the blanks so that if you think of each bullet list as a scene, you could read it as a story, start to end. Once you get writing, you might add more scenes, or move things around or whatever, but you should have a thing that functions as a story.

If you struggle with this, an alternative is a story with a very strong structure that is going to guide you though what you have to write.Here are two examples from my own stories Hold On, Hold On (which is only one chapter, but the principle is the same) is structured around the 5 stages of grief. Not Broken, Just Bent takes place over roughly a week, and I just decided what happened every day of the week. See You on the Other Side takes place in the middle of a bunch of canon events, which worked at mile markers.

Congratulations. You’ve just made a rough outline!

Special note for avoiding burnout!: I am a slogger. I will drag myself through the broken glass of an interminable plot to get to a single thirsty scene. That's why, at this stage, I try to look at the ratio of what I want to write to what I must write. It's gonna vary for everyone, but this is a hobby, and if looking at this proto-outline makes you feel deeply tired, maybe this isn't a good story to be devoting your time to! Can you carve it down? Can you chuck two scenes you really want to write and get rid of 80% of the slog? Or maybe you can't! In that case, just write that thirsty scene as a standalone drabble! Or just go work on something else! Maybe in the future, this one will come back to you and you’ll have a fresh idea or a renewed enthusiasm for it.

Another thing I sometimes like to do at this point is to write out some notes about my characters and their motivations and moods. Character A is homesick. Character B is so determined to defeat the enemy that they are having a hard time being sympathetic to Character A. Character C cares for both A and B and is trying to support them both. This is sort of background info that you want to keep in your head as you are writing. Depending on the type of story you are writing, this might actually be the main plot, or it might be happening subtly, but adding to the emotional impact of the story. It’s very easy for me to write these sorts of emotional arcs, but if you struggle with that, you may wish to go ahead and made a more detailed outline for that, too.

Now, it’s time to start writing! I am great at beginnings-- it is very often the case for me that the opening scene was one of my Big Tentpole Scenes. (Before you hate me too much, I make up for this by being double horrible at endings; just let me have this) Usually, I will start at the beginning and write linearly for as long as I can until I get stuck. Then, I will look forward on my outline and do the next chronological scene that I feel like writing. In general, if I sit down to write and there is something I have an urge to write, that trumps everything else. Inspiration is a precious commodity, and you should embrace it when it hits! You can slog any day. I will occasionally hold off writing a scene that I really want to, because I am saving it, like a prize for myself for getting that far. This is a very personal process of figuring out what motivates your brain and then giving your brain what it needs to be its most productive.

Eventually, you will run out of things you are excited to write, but the good news is, you’ve got a bunch of story now! Odds are that what’s left is going to be a lot of those connective tissue scenes, and you’re just going to have to do them, except that now, because you’re connecting two concrete points instead of two abstract points, it will be a lot easier. You can continue running jokes you’ve started. Maybe you invented a cafe in an earlier scene where your characters hang out and you can have them return there. Try to think of ways to make these scenes more fun, both for yourself to write and for your reader to read.

Around this time, I like to start refining that rough strokes outline into what I will call an “as-built” outline. (This is an engineering term where you update your plans or models for something to reflect any changes that had to be made along the way). This is a great activity to do at times when you feel like you have writers block. I write down every scene I have written as a 2-3 word blurb, in order. I break the scenes into what I think makes logical chapters, and I will do a word count on those prospective chapters and write it down. As you do this, you will realize that maybe you can move a scene from here to there, which will make it 1000% easier to write. Things may be happening too much, or you’ve got the characters eating three times in the same chapter. If you have subplots and dangling threads, this is where you make sure they get closure. I know this sounds very headache-y, but you are so far along in the story at this point that it’s really not-- it’s a way to look at the problems you have left. Use some sort of formatting (I like to bold things I haven’t done and sometimes I put them in red) and it gives you a very visual to-do list.

You specifically mentioned multi-chapter fanfics and I admit that I don’t tend to think in chapters, I tend to think of the story as a whole and just break it up where it feels natural. The as-built outlining I described is very helpful in making sure that my chapters feel balanced. They don’t necessarily need to be the same length, but I like them to have the same amount of stuff in them. One chapter may basically contain one long scene, and other may contain many short ones. I don’t tend to, but you can certainly have a fanfic that varies between short and long chapters, that can actually be an interesting effect. But like I said, I always like to know what I am doing, and so having it mapped out, you can say “welp, this is what I’ve done, how do I feel about that?”

Polynya, you may be saying at this point, do you write the whole fanfic before you post any of it? and I regret to inform you, the answer is yes. A lot of people write as they go, and I have made one attempt at this and I didn’t like it. I don’t like locking myself in, I just need to be able write out of order and go back and change things. Here is the story of a little in love: someone gave me an AU prompt and I got mildly obsessed with it, and wrote 5 snapshots drabbles in that universe, ending with a slight cliffhanger ending. I probably should have stopped there, but I decided to keep going. I wrote out an outline of 5 acts where the first act was detailed to the degree of each chapter being specified. The chapters here were much smaller than I usually make chapters: 1-2k. I wrote act i and ii and it was actually great, and then I hit act iii which required a lot of set up for misunderstandings and a mini romance arc. I couldn’t wing it, but nor could I figure it all out with outlining. I write dialogue in almost sort of an improv “Yes, and...?” style, so until I do it, I don’t know what’s going to happen. So, what I did was treat the second half of act iii as a complete story in the process I describe above, wrote the entire rest of it, and then posted it. One might notice that the chapter lengths grew to 3-5k each. I have two more acts to go, and I haven’t decided how I am going to do them yet, but I suspect I will treat each of them as their own mini-stories.

(I will admit that in Heart is a Muscle, I tend toward chapters that are about 10k long, and this is honestly too long, someone should smack me. If you like punchy chapters, 1-2k is good. I think 3-6k is probably an ideal chapter length. Is this how long the chapters are in my latest fanfic? Absolutely not.)

Okay, so there’s one more step, which is quality control. I am habitual re-reader-- I read my fanfics-in-progress over and over and over while I am working on them. I understand that not everyone does this, but I am usually the primary audience for my own writing, and this is the actual fun part for me. Nevertheless, you should re-read your work at least once, to make sure it hangs together.

This is purely optional, but I recommend it: get a writing friend (if you don’t like re-reading your work, I recommend this even more strongly). If you can get a full-service beta reader, that’s great, but if you can’t find someone, or if receiving that level of critique stresses you out, it’s perfectly valid to just find a friend who will read your stuff and a) shower you with compliments, b) reassure you about parts you aren’t sure about (or suggest ways to help) and c) point out any huge problems you missed. When I am writing a long fanfic, it is a huge motivational factor for me to be able to send my beta chapters as I finish them. If you are already an established writer, and you have people who consistently comment on your fic, they might be overjoyed to get a sneak peak at your work.

And that’s it! That’s the way I do it, anyway! Some people are able to sit down and write a very detailed outline and the write it start-to-finish. Good for them, I say! I have tried this and it doesn’t work great for me. I will admit that some of my fics (especially my early ones) I just sat down and banged out whole-cloth like an insane person and they are generally better than the ones I actually plan out, but that’s not a reproducible process.

As one final mechanical note, I usually write in Google Docs, which I can access on multiple devices (I used to write a lot on my phone), has convenient sharing functionality, and I use the ao3 html formatting script add-in. I generally have two documents for a single story-- one is the outline, and any other notes I want to have handy. I’ll usually put a trashcan space at the bottom for scenes that got cut but I don’t want to lose. The other is the fanfic itself.

I hope this is helpful! Please feel free to follow up with other questions and good luck with your writing!

#writing advice #longform writing

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iamnmbr3 · 3 years ago

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Hey! This is a bizarre ask but hopefully a welcome one after *gestures at the destruction and fire*. I’m completely new to the Loki/thorki fandom, having essentially come in via the exit door by watching the Loki tv series first. I was honestly just watching it for junk value to have something in the background while I knit. However, when I realized that I didn’t understand anything by the middle of Ep. 1, I went back to watch Thor 1 so I could get what was going on. And HOLY SHIT I was utterly captivated by Loki’s character in the original movie, as well as by the Loki-Thor and Odin family dynamics. I’ve now watched through the films and have been increasingly disappointed by the portrayal of Loki (since Avengers 1 frankly) save a few glimmers of good characterization here and there.

I can’t believe that I’m getting myself into another queer coded (and now more than coded wtf) “villain” with a tragic backstory who’s done dirty by the fandom at large, but here we are! I’m also super into thorki because goddamn… they sure do have a Dynamic™.

So I guess my question is, what is actually good here? I feel like I’ve been trying to fight my way back to Kenneth Branagh!Loki, and have been largely unsuccessful within canon content. Do you have suggestions for a newcomer re: fics, fanart, and meta that actually treats Loki seriously? (and thorki as well?)

Hey! Welcome! Sorry about the mess *gestures at the garbage fire that is the TVA Show The Larry Show The "Loki" Show*

And this isn't a bizarre ask at all. It was really nice to receive actually! And yeah! I'm so glad you went back and watched the originals. The TV Show character is a completely new character played by the same actor who has nothing in common with the original character (who yes is absolutely fascinating and captivating and multilayered). Honestly I just think of the tv character as Larry, Loki's dumb lookalike cousin bc they have nothing in common lol. So glad the show led to you discovering good content...and thorki. And yeah Thor 2011 is amazing! It's so underrated. If you want meta relating to that and also just gushing about the film you can def check out my Thor 2011 tag.

My thorki tag of course has thorki stuff including art etc. I've also got an art tag which has both thorki and non-thorki works. If you want fic recs you can look in my fic rec tag which has a bunch of good stuff both thorki and gen.

Also here are some good thorki fics to start out with that I've really enjoyed. Most are ones I read early on when I just discovered the ship. Also @illwynd has a great thorki blog btw that you should def check out (and also their sideblog @throwbackthorki). Edit: I’ve also added some gen fic recs.

Thorki Fic Recs:

Chaos War by astolat (words: 34,203 | rating: E)

It was never easy to find Loki when he wanted to hide, but he wasn't doing a particularly good job of it at the moment. Probably he didn't think anyone from Asgard would be wasting their time hunting for him while the shining ones churned their way steadily through all the realm.

Loyalty at Any Price by seidrade (words: 22,663 | rating: E )

“This whole time, I’ve been searching the Nine Realms— alone— for answers to questions I barely know how to ask. I thought Heimdall at his watch, our father upon the throne, and most grievously… I thought you lost to me forever.” Thor’s resurgence of anger gives way to something like despair. He can’t tell whether he wants to pummel Loki into one giant bruise, or hold him and weep like a child.

When Thor returns to Asgard and exposes Loki’s deception, his demands for answers and Loki’s reluctance to give them soon bubble over into a cathartic confrontation.

Born to be Kings by Kadorienne (words: 66,618 | rating: T)

When the princes of Asgard made their ill-fated jaunt to Jotunheim, Odin arrived to fetch them before the frost giant grabbed Loki's arm. Odin was able to carry out his plan to make Loki his puppet king of Jotunheim. But how long will Loki remain an obedient puppet?

Yidrigar by epistolic (words: 5,174 | rating: M)

Sometimes I am envious, but never doubt that I love you.

The Heavy Crown by orphan_account (words: 10,024 | Rating: M )

Odin is dead. Loki must take up the mantle of King even as war threatens Asgard, Thor remains bereft of both Mjolnir and his immortality, and stress coupled with the knowledge of his heritage drives Loki to the brink.

No Common Thing by ravenbringslight (words: 8,283 | rating: E)

Loki follows Thor to a brothel and gets the shock of his life.

On the Eagle's Wings by illwynd (words: 2,975 | rating: T )

After Loki falls from the Bifrost, Thor begins to write him letters every day.

How long we were fooled by Ark (words: 28,227 | rating: E )

Loki is not a good man, he knows; there is something rotten in the core of him; and even a much better man might let Thor kiss him, since Thor still tastes of sizzling lightning, like gathering rain, like a desire so fierce and so awful to him that when released it could bring Asgard to its knees.

sunshine by thorvaenn (words: 18,257 | rating: E )

A post Infinity War fluffy piece.

Thor and Loki are among those who are trying to pick up the pieces, but must first fix each other.

Edit: And Some Gen Fic Recs too:

lose my idols to find my voice by Lise (words: 1,548 | rating: T)

This is no homecoming.

monstrare by Lise (words: 1,174 | T )

Loki is Asgard's second prince, brother to Thor, son of Odin and Frigga.

Isn't he?

farewell hope, and with hope farewell fear by Lise (words: 3,113 | rating: T)

Loki and the terrible, horrible, no good, very long delayed reckoning.

Five Times Loki Could Have Been A Villain by Kadorienne (words: 3,344 | rating: G | Character Death)

Five AUs where Loki is not a mere antagonist, but an actual villain.

He would have acted very differently.

When It Sings, When It Lies by dreamsthebirds (words: 14,145 | rating: G)

Thor AU, based on an awesome norsekink prompt for a scenario in which Heimdall doesn't open the Bifrost to Jotunheim, Odin doesn't ride to the rescue, and Loki is forced to take matters into his own hands.

Interdimensional journeys, shattering emotional revelations, and walking trees ensue.

Ichor in Violet by tirsynni (Words: 14,574 | rating: T)

When Thor learns that Loki can travel to other realms without Heimdall seeing, of course he convinces Loki to take them both to Jotunheim to hunt Frost Giants. There an accident unravels centuries of lies and threatens to unravel Loki, too.

The Sinking Feeling of Anticipation by JaggedCliffs (words: 8,624 | rating: G)

When Æsir come of age, they receive a gift from their parents, one meant to aid them in their adult lives. When a prince of Asgard comes of age, their gifts are not just for themselves, but for the realm.

Loki watched Thor receive Mjolnir at his coming of age ceremony – one of the greatest weapons in the realms, for one of its greatest warriors. Now, it's Loki's turn, and he knows Odin will grant him something just as magnificent.

Won't he?

Exsanguination by Lise (words: 8,610 | rating: G)

exsanguination /ex·san·gui·na·tion/ v.intr. To be drained of blood. (And all the rest.)

#asks #fic rec #thorki #thorki fic rec #thunderfrost #Loki #Thor #Marvel #MCU #loki fic rec #loki fic #loki tv series #loki show #Loki Series critical

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wander-over-the-words · 2 years ago

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1, 5, 6, 10, 13, 22, and 35 for the weird writing ask game!

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

(under cut cause lots of numbers and I got a little rambly a couple of times lmao)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Times New Roman, size 12. Nothing else is acceptable to mine eyes lmao

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

Scratches chin

I don't think I do, no. I am a huge perfectionist when it comes to writing (especially if it deals with an actual canon and such), but I don't think I have any superstitions about it.

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

Pretty much all the fears I have regarding writing are, in the moment, pretty severe, but in hindsight, are probably quite trivial. The sort of things writing blogs make posts about, like how "we should write for ourselves so who cares about notes" and whatnot. How a fic might not get attention even after the amount of time I've spent on it (though, to be fair, that's sometimes just Tumblr's fault for locking me out of tags huff puff).

The only real dark fears I've had about writing are intrusive thoughts about like. which fic will be my last. In that, which fic will be the last posted before something happens to me or some such. My greatest fear in life is dying before I get to do everything I want to do, and sharing the millions of stories in my head is part of that.

But like I said, those are just dumb intrusive thoughts that my brain likes to shove in my mind every so often. Keeps me on my toes, I guess.

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

I've certainly read things in the past that stuck with me for a long time! Been a while since I've read a fanfic that's done that, but I read a mystery/psychological sort of novel toward the beginning of the year that had a helluva twist, where I just kinda went "woah" and then immediately went to my mama like "YOU HAVE TO READ THIS" lmao

As for my own writing - ehhhh. Sort of. My own writing 'haunting' me is more like. I put too many expectations on myself for things. So I guess it's not 'haunting' so much as 'taunting', heh. The current one is Part 3 of Wherever Life Takes You and whether or not it'll be a satisfying sequel to a fic that I. did not expect to get as popular as it did. It's got bigger shoes to fill than I thought would be the case and so it's on my mind more than I'd like.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Eeehhh. Death, mostly (or rather, the aftermath of somebody's death). Hits too close to home. And obviously any sort of discrimination stuff, especially any I relate to. Makes me feel disgusting afterwards. I have to put myself in a specific mood to write about either of those things, and sometimes it just leads to me accidentally unlocking a depression episode cause my brain becomes too loud.

One that's kind of both easy and difficult is the topic of guilt. Like, it's hard because I relate a little too much to it (thanks to a high level of empathy and a guilt complex), but it means I can just fly through descriptions of it cause. I get it. I understand why a character's doing something out of guilt. I've been there.

One that's easy is - funnily enough - violence lmao. I don't get to write fight scenes often, but I tend to fly through them when I do.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

Not as organised as I'd like lmao

I have a shit ton of notes on my phone of random bits of dialogue and facts to remember. If I'm in bed and can't be bothered to roll over and grab my phone, I write said thing on the back of my hand and just have to remember to write it down properly the next day lmao.

Recently, I did move the notes from my phone to my Google Docs, where everything else is (shoutout to the BioShock fic notes that came out at over two hundred pages! y'all were slowing my fuckin phone down). Different drafts of things get different documents (and are usually just named [fic name] and (whatever number of draft it is)), I have a 'graveyard' document dedicated to having bits I deleted that I might be able to use later or that I just liked a lot. Multi-chap fics tend to have a doc dedicated to just their plans. That kind of thing.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Favourite has got to be my little trick of removing (most) punctuation from scenes where the character(s) is panicking, in order to make the reader's 'reading voice' speed up and match the character's racing thoughts (think the most recent time I did it was Here Comes Frankenstein, with Delta in That Scene; in posted stuff, anyway). I know doing that would probably piss off most of my old English teachers, but hey. it does what I want it to do so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm usually a wee bit of a snob when it comes to grammar, but there are some rules that I just. don't care about. Like. I know there're specific rules on how to structure a sentence when somebody's speech is interrupted, like whether the - goes before or after the speech marks, and I'm sure I've done it wrong pretty much every time, but it's because I just. don't give a fuck nrnrng Like maybe I'll care when I actually publish something but like. y'all know they were interrupted, and that's all I need you to know.

My English teachers used to tell me I should never 'list' during descriptions in writing (e.g. don't have a paragraph dedicated to what a character looks like), but like. how the fuck are y'all supposed to know this shit otherwise? I'd much rather a writer just give me some list of what their character or setting looks like rather than pick up clues along the way, like my old teachers used to make me do (they would have me do shit like "instead of just saying she has blonde hair, just mention it when she eventually touches her hair" or some shit. or I'd have to implant a scene where a character happens to see their reflection just to give me an excuse to be like "LOOK HERE'S WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT IT SO THIS IS JUSTIFIED."). I'd rather have something to consult in case I forget rather than have to fine-tooth-comb the text to find out if this gal is blonde or not. fuckin wait for her to touch her damn hair just so I can know what colour it is. Obviously, yes, don't be too rambly with it, and show, don't tell their personality, but what they look like? Yes, please, just fuckin tell me. Let me have a picture in my mind rather than a bunch of puzzle pieces that I have put together over the span of reading this entire book.

Also, I’m aware some people don’t like it when writers actually write out accents, but fuck that (except if it makes the text legit hard to read). Y’all can pry especially Southern accents from my cold dead hands.

And hey, yeah, sometimes I structure stuff more on how it looks rather than writing rules, or how easily I think it reads. I'm in no way perfect ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#answering #reply #long post #thanks for sending this in!#Sorry for rambling too much haha ^^'

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tenpintsof-sundrop · 6 months ago

Text

I totally get what you're saying and you make a really good point, and normally I would just be like 'who cares' and forget about it. and generally, it is really easy to say stuff like this ^^ - but it just sucks when it's a pattern.

one single comment is really easier to shrug off, but I have gotten at least a dozen comments on this fic alone (one of them long-ass essay style citing stuff from the canon telling me why I was fundamentally wrong, not taking into account that CM is not a precise timeline and drug addiction isn't more severe just because someone has been a drug addict for longer??) - and it is just so mentally defeating when I keep having to read comments over and over again about how the reader character is stupid, makes dumb decisions, how she's 'mean' to Spencer (and how he shouldn't have to take any criticism at all when the whole point is criticizing an era of him in the canon where he was very cruel to people as well as being self destructive and people just laugh and call him 'sassy').

and I know people are gonna say "just turn off comments!" - well I don't like this because it takes away the opportunity for people to leave kind comments, and it takes away the opportunity for kind, open, productive communication between author and reader. and I don't want to do that.

my biggest frustration isn't about one mean comment. it never is. it's about a pattern - the Criminal Minds fandom (and I feel like I shouldn't have to talk about the exceptions, because if you are one of the exceptions then you shouldn't feel targeted by my comments, but I am talking about the fandom at large) - because of the tiktok renaissance in this fandom, and a very large influx of teenagers in this fandom now, the fandom is vastly immature and they don't treat fanfic authors like people. I have even gotten so many comments where people are talking to a mysterious third person in my comments as if all the comments don't go directly to me.

people being like 'can someone please tell me when this updates?' 'can someone please tell me if this fic gets any better' 'can someone please tell me if the reader character stops being a bitch' like WHAT THE FUCK. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO. THE 'SOMEONE' READING ALL YOUR COMMENTS IS ME, THE AUTHOR. my guess is that it's a huge influx of people whose primary social media was tiktok and wattpad not having a clue how Tumblr works, so they think the replies are like tiktok comments - where commenters primarily talk to other commenters (and that is the case on Tumblr posts with like 10k+ notes, not on fics with like 10-50 replies. those comments are just for the author).

they act like the author is never going to see their comments and it's just plain rude.

I am just pissed off by the lack of etiquette. and genuinely, I can see myself never writing for the Criminal Minds fandom again, because I will think of these experiences and be steered far away from ever doing it.

anyway, Kira - sorry to rant on your reblog. and thank you so much for your lovely comments toward my work. you are always one of the good people who makes writing worth it with your comments and I always smile whenever I see your username in my notifs <33

Woke up to another whiny comment criticizing the reader character in Careful for being stupid, overly emotional, and being mean to poor little Spencer uwu

My finger is hovering over the delete button for every single chapter of that fic because I am just so fucking sick of people commenting on it like it's a CinemaSins episode and not like it's something that I put careful thought into at every single turn - and as with all my fics, the characters and the plot are emotionally driven, so of course things are not gonna be 100% logical at all times (go read No Place Like Home, go read You Shook Me All Night Long, go read Burn The Witch, go read Glitter & Crimson - all of those conflicts are emotionally driven and the reader character is "stupid" and "bitchy" because THAT'S HOW HUMAN BEINGS ARE)

People act fucking entitled to fanfiction and when it's not just pure fluff they complain about it having realistic, thought-out conflict

Like PLEASE - if you don't like a fic, just click out of it. Don't whine in the comments as if those comments are your personal Twitter. Idk how the thought doesn't occur in your little brain, but the author sees every single half baked, passive aggressive thing that you write when you're pissed off with the characters' actions. So take five and actually think about what you're writing before you fucking write it.

#interactions #sundrop speaks #fandom #targaryenluvs #kira and sundrop talk <3

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skyeventide · 3 years ago

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26 and 31 for the writing asks! 📓

from here

26. What would you describe as OOC?

whatever I don't agree with. nah jk, ooc is a strange concept in the Tolkien fandom because of how layered the canon is. is something out of character, if it's stated in a text but contradicted elsewhere? is it out of character if it changes from early draft to late draft, but may well have changed again had Tolkien gotten around to publishing his materials himself? what if he mixes up people in his own drafts (and he does)? what if Chris T made an editorial decision? you can construct a lot of arguments on characterisation, and there's a range of choices that I would consider "viable" or "well-argued" using the materials we have available. coherence isn't a gift that Tolkien gave us, so building one as fanwriters is important. then there's a range of choices that could be disproven with a quote, which is nowhere else contradicted or ever changed; that I would call ooc. and in any case there's always a good chance that someone out there sees something that is perfectly argued and still thinks "what the actual fuck are you talking about" (which absolutely happens to me, and often, so the bare minimum is acknowledging that it happens to other people too).

in fandoms where this kind of fragmentary nature is not present though (the "canon" is the text/source material, no more and no less), ooc is whatever people make up that is different in the story. also, it's not actually super easy to nail/imitate speech patterns, thought logics, and the like, when they were first written by someone else. it takes the... writing humility, I guess? to not think this character is yours, to not project what you want to see but rather stick to what has been written. I know a lot of people don't care about that kind of detail and I mean, good for them, their stuff is just not for me.

31. What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?

uhhh, this may be the eternal Daeron/Maglor, which I have not finished yet. though, the creation of ithildin in Moonspark as a scene rather than a fic is a close second, it took me so much research to make the chemistry believable. still in Moonspark, the scene with Galadriel is one I wrote pushing through gritted teeth, for the reason that I don't think/care about the character nor do I even like her, but I'll be damned if I don't write her and characterise her fairly. it got some compliments, so I think I succeeded at least. and I guess in a sense the Castlevania smut fic also counts, not because it was hard but because I was wildly dumb and didn't check the exchange deadline, so I had to write the full thing in like a week.

#meme.#answered.#writing meme.#samarqqand

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anti-katsuki-lounge · 2 years ago

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wow, that other anon talking about how they talked with their friends about "the character derailment that plagues fanfic" or whatever made me feel an incredibly deep, visceral level of fury that i almost never encounter bc of dumb people online. is it okay if i respond to them here? if not, just delete this ask and dw about it

first of all, all fanwork is self indulgent. fanart, fanfic, fan music, etc, its all made bc the creature likes the original character or work and they want to see more content for it. specifically, they want to see content that suits their taste, whether its something that they can relate to more than the original work or if its just something they want to see more of. (like the dadzawa dynamic! i fully accept that it's not canon, but i love dadzawa fics anyways bc they just make me happy)

now, what really pissed me off was the implication that there's an "acceptable" level of trans representation that all fic authors should strive for. that level being, the one that suits YOUR tastes. if you dont want to read fic where the characters are trans in a way that effects the plot, their personality, and their day to day likes (read: a realistic portrayal of life as a trans person), then dont read it! but it's really messed up to say, or at least imply, that no one should write it/any fanfic that doesnt adhere to the canon characters' exact personalities. if people wanted to read the exact portrayal that canon provides, then they'd read canon! people read fanfic because they want different interpretations, not the same stuff over and over again!

i wont say that you're transphobic for saying that, because i dont think you are. i just think you're ignorant and wrong. also, it is literally so easy to avoid the minority of fics that have trans characters in them and just read the other million that are out there instead. i have no idea why you decided to bring gender politics up on an anti-bakugo meme page when you couldve (and basically did) make your point completely clear without it. sorry to continue to bring this stuff up, i dont want to start an argument about transphobia in fandom spaces on an anti-bakugo meme page, but it didnt sit right with me that that comment was just brushed off.

It’s ok. I’ll leave this here.

Also yeah, I have no issues with people adding traits to characters for fanfiction cause fanfics are meant to be self indulgent. “Don’t like, don’t read” comes to mind when I encounter something I don’t like or doesn’t interest me like Dadzawa. I personally don’t like how many fans like to make All Might into a shitty person while ignoring Shota’s faults, but I’m not going to do anything except complain on the internet in my own space 🤷‍♂️. If y’all like that sort of thing, I ain’t going to invade your spaces and judge you.

The trans thing however is obviously different as people use fanfics to write the stories they wish existed and to detail their experiences in a fictional setting. I think it’s great that people have found their voices through something like fanfics. It’s self indulgence at the end of the day. Wanna write a fic where nearly everyone is in the LGBTQ+ community and that’s the norm? Go right ahead. Hell, I even encourage it ‘cause despite the negative rep Fanfiction as a whole gets, I think it’s a really healthy medium to express the thoughts you wish to express. Fanfiction can help you find the communities you want to be a part of and help you put into words the things you wanna say. A fic that supports hate and/or something unhealthy is different, but trans/LGBTQ+ support fics are obviously not in this category.

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

Text

And another thing, he said as if its ever just ONE more thing, hahahaha look, fuck you numbers, I’m not about to be limited by the likes of YOU.

Anyway.

Anyone else think its kinda weird that in all the many years of “Dick not so secretly resented Jason because Bruce adopted him and made him Robin and that’s why they were never close” fics.......there seem to be a big whopping zero that take the fix-it approach:

“What if Bruce had been aware of the tension between the two because he’s not actually a Dumb Dumb McStupidhead and thought to himself, gee, if only there was something I, the parent, had the power to do about this resentment from one brother based on something I, the parent, did for the other brother who never did anything because he is not the parent and also he did nothing wrong? What if given that I and my actions are the actual problem here, I, the parent, he who holdeth both the actual power in this family as the parent and the power as the problem-causer, to address the problem.....like what if I got off my ‘matches with Batman’ butt and.....did...something? About it?”

Like.....oh I don’t know, just spitballing here....maybe explaining to Jason just what it was Dick was resentful about when it came to Robin and that Jason wasn’t the one Dick was actually mad at, which more than likely would have prompted the extremely empathetic at this age Jason to take Dick’s side and be like wtf, you gotta fix this B.

Or maybe like, going to Dick and expressing how sorry he is that he didn’t consider how Dick would feel about any of this and that he’s let it go unaddressed for so long since then, which more than likely would have NOT resulted in Dick continuing to hold a grudge against an innocent third party but rather be like thank you this is literally all I ever wanted, a fucking acknowledgment that you’d hurt me and that my being hurt mattered to you?

Or if the problem is more Dick being resentful that Bruce adopted Jason and not him, maybe Bruce explaining this to Jason and that Jason wasn’t the one Dick was actually mad at, which again, more than likely would have prompted the extremely empathetic Jason to go umm, wtf are you talking to me about this for then, if you think he’s upset about that why the fuck aren’t you going to talk to him about it and tell him all this stuff about regretting not adopting him before now and sparing him this hurt instead? Like what are you waiting for old man, your fucking helicopter to come pick you up? NOW. Go NOW. You’re not getting any younger, geez Louise, why are old people so dumb.

Or maybe like.....Bruce going to Dick and expressing how sorry he is that he didn’t consider how Dick would feel about.....look, you see where I’m going with this, right? You get it? Its not actually all that tricky to grasp?

Or hell, maybe even just in a fic where Jason nurses his own resentment over the fact that he’s heard so much about Dick and looked forward to meeting him and yet months and months go by since Jason’s adoption and in all that time his alleged big brother apparently can’t even be bothered to come introduce himself, RIP Jason’s feelings, guess he can’t possibly matter all that much to the guy, way to welcome him to the family......

I mean, its not like THAT thought neeeeeeever comes up in fic, so its like, hmmm, counterpoint, but where are all the fics that take the angle of rather than let Jason think he doesn’t matter to his predecessor and let Dick take all the blame for this impression when there’s LITERALLY nothing Dick could do about it since he found out about Jason from the freaking newspaper months after the adoption and only after Jason debuted as Robin.....maybe Bruce, could again, just like....start a conversation. And be like Jason I seem to have inadvertently given you the wrong impression here, but trust me, Dick not coming to meet you before now had nothing whatsoever to do with you and was purely because I never actually told him about you.

Again, cut to Jason, the actual brains of the family at this point in time, staring at Bruce with his mouth hanging open:

“Wait, so you’re telling me that after the two of you had this big fight and you haven’t seen him in like eighteen months, AND after his eighteenth birthday came and went without you bothering to even call him and let him know you still wanted him in your life despite him no longer legally being your ward, AND after you went and took me in and adopted me......you never at any point picked up the phone and said hey kid that I raised and consider family and still want to be part of my family no matter how long its been since we talked......I just thought you should know, given that we’re still family and all, that our family is now bigger, because that’s information that is kinda key to give to people you consider family, as NOT keeping them in that loop could kinda sorta maaaaaaybe give them the impression that you DON’T think of them that way or else you would have thought this was relevant information for them to have?”

Bruce: I’m not sure I see where you’re going with this.

Jason: How are you this dumb. No but seriously. HOW.

Anywho, cut to me, twiddling my thumbs here all super casual like.....

But HMMM, isn’t it WEIRD how fandom, which is totally better than canon, and definitely does not have patience for that unnecessary family angst porn DC is so obsessed with and just wants these goshdarn idiots to be a FAMILY, like......neeeeeeeeever utilizes the transformative power of fanfic and their much more reliable takes on Good Parent Bruce Wayne to like....have Bruce....do something about the problems between past Dick and Jason? In any of these fics? And instead has him just....let the opportunities to make things better for them, AND HIMSELF in the process, just like.....sail away into the rear view mirror, waving a hand at them as they pass, content to let things fester and worsen until cut to after Jason’s return, like.....oh gee, really wish something could have been done about the relationship between Dick and Jason way back when, maybe Jason could have benefited from another close relationship in his life then and maybe Dick might not be as bad off now if he wasn’t burdened with unnecessary guilt over having had human emotions when he was a teenager?

So so SO weird that this angle never comes up or gets tackled in ANY fics that emphasize Dick’s alleged history of being an asshole to Jason and the reason they were never close or barely knew each other. I mean, its such an EASY and OBVIOUS fix to all that, don’t you think?

Unless, of course.....in the fics that make an emphasis of this fandom created dynamic.....its not actually considered a problem to fix at all.

But rather, this manufactured dynamic IS the fix, to what they see as the ACTUAL problem......any kind of real or explored focus on what Bruce actually DID and didn’t do, that caused the resentment they’re all too happy to show Dick nursing, but seem keeeeeeeeenly deft in avoiding any exploration of him FEELING. Except of course when it comes to a reason for him to feel even guiltier BECAUSE of it.

Its almost like we would have had a ton more variety in how fics depict the early years between Dick and Jason, perks of this oh so easily arrived at fix-it angle.....unless those fics were always doing exactly what they intended by keeping every one in the comments sections so busy commenting on what a jerk Dick was in that chapter or in the older events that chapter mentioned, that they just so happen to never really spend much time considering Bruce’s inciting choices back then to be AS worthy of comment or criticism.

Idk you guys, I just happen to find it kinda hilar in that ‘what a weird coeenkeedink kinda way’ that so many of the things a lot of fandom are EXTREMELY loud about holding against Dick (whether Dick did or not actually do those things in the first place)....just so happen to be the very things that most of these same people REFUSE to ever hold Bruce accountable for, or admit that he actually did.

Y’know, like how Bruce never actually fired Dick as Robin, that was just a retcon (when there’s literally been more versions of events where Dick WAS fired than WASN’T at this point).....but meanwhile, Dick very much definitely did FIRE Tim, that was exactly how that went down.

Or how similarly, Bruce neeeeeever actually kicked Dick out, let alone made him give back his keys, but Dick DEFINITELY kicked Tim out of house and Gotham.....even though Dick literally did none of that and in fact was living at the penthouse the whole time he was Batman, meaning Wayne Manor was perfectly available to be Tim’s home base the whole time, if he’d wanted it.

Or how Bruce has never lifted a finger at his eldest, or thrown any kind of a temper tantrum, because he is a good person who would obviously never ever do that, BUT if the son he spent the longest time raising just so HAPPENS to end up with a reputation of having a hair-trigger temper, going off at the drop of a hat, blowing things all out of proportion and lashing out physically whenever he’s overwhelmed emotionally.....well, that certainly has nothing to do with Bruce or anything he’s ever done, lol why would it, BUT its definitely something that needs to be commented on time and time again because it very much did happen all these times in canon, whereas all these times you’re talking about with Bruce are very clearly out of character writing because see, Bruce just isn’t like that, uh doy.

Or how Bruce definitely wasn’t being problematic as hell when it came to his non-interactions with Dick back when Jason was living with him, but Dick’s non-interactions with Jason are 10000x more worthy of comment and criticism. And Dick’s responsibilities towards the emotional wellbeing of the kid he didn’t pick to be his family and wasn’t even actually legally family with at the time, let alone actually obligated to, are definitely the same as Bruce’s responsibilities to the emotional wellbeing of both the kids he did actually pick to be his family and did actually make obligations to. Thus the one is definitely more deserving of a call-out post than the other....wait, what? Dammit, I was SURE my math checked out on that one this time. Well fuck a duck, now I am THOROUGHLY flummoxed by all this.

Yup.....

Just really funny in that lmao ‘actually not at all sorta’ way, how its the extremely PRECISE things that so many fans absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge Bruce ever doing, that they just can’t help but ‘expose’ as a mere retcon, bad writing, ooc behavior, writers just ‘not getting who Bruce Wayne is,’ etc, etc, whenever it does get brought up by other people....

It just so happens to be these very specific things that come up time and time again as the things people just WILL NOT LET GO when it comes to Dick doing them.....even when.....in most cases he didn’t even actually do them! Not because they were ‘mere retcons’ or just ‘bad writing’ or ‘ooc behavior’ or ‘writers just not getting who Dick Grayson is’....but because they literally. Did not. Happen. Until fandom for some reason - ‘despite’ HATING canon for having Bruce do THESE VERY SAME THINGS - put their own interpretative or transformative spin on things and MADE those things happen in such huge numbers that a lot of new fans coming into fandom by way of fics honestly believe that THESE are the canon moments and its the ones attributed to Bruce that are just fans of other characters having their sour grapes moments.

I mean....

You gotta laugh.

Anyway. So I mean, unless I’m just totally reading the room wrong, I’d have to hazard a guess that the only real reason we NEVER see fics addressing things the way I outlined in my earliest examples at the start of this post.....is that a whole lot of fandom just kinda decided over the years that it was just waaaaaay easier to just redirect peoples’ ire at other characters, away from Bruce, than it was to go to the trouble of like....actually ADDRESSING Bruce’s pesky little canon mistakes.

Cuz see....writing a happier, more united Batfam in the years before Jason’s death is only a fix-it fic if the problem you’re fixing is the family’s relationships.....and not ‘Bruce acknowledging - let alone taking ownership of - his mistakes.’ If the latter is the REAL problem, well a more ‘together’ family isn’t something you actually need at all....you just need someone else to pin its divisiness on.

But I digress.

Aaaaaanyway.....now standard stock disclaimer that as I’ve always always always said....I don’t actually hate Bruce nor do I have anything whatsoever against Good Dad Bruce.....my issues are always just with peoples’ approach to his canon mistakes or poor writing being to double down on the problem but just make it someone else’s. And that one little thing where the Smartest Man In The World can come up with a way to fight Doomsday with a paper clip and some chewing gum, but goshdarnnit if he’s not completely helpless and powerless when it comes to fixing his own mistakes or interceding in his childrens’ emotional problems.

(As in by just y’know, parenting them. Sitting them down for a conversation. No, bugging their apartments and calling that his love language doesn’t count.)

Also, an Honorable Mention Pet Peeve goes out to all the fans who love to dismiss Dick Grayson stans raising this issue because ‘this sort of thing happens with all the characters’ when lololololol, no, it really actually does not. Given the weeeeeeeird similarities and parallels in the very specific things we tend to gripe about Bruce doing in canon and others tend to gripe about Dick doing in fanon, like, I’d actually think some of you would be a bit more empathetic about how much it sucks seeing your fave character condemned for stuff like this, given the lengths you go to when avoiding acknowledging Bruce doing it. But then again, that would defeat the point of attributing all that to a Bruce scapegoat instead of a Bruce in the first place, so I mean, I guess not actually.

But whatevs. I guess I’m just not able to grasp the nuances of how people criticizing or even fixating on some of Bruce’s worse actions in canon gains the ire of fans who are like, I am just here rolling my eyes at you guys for being so addicted to your shitty misery porn that you like, just loooooove going with the takes where Bruce is just the worst person ever and a totally shitty dad....

While meanwhile.....many of those exact same fans.....

Two seconds later: Now if you don’t mind, we have to get back to making up scenarios and bad faith interpretations that paint Dick as being just the worst person ever and a totally shitty brother or son. But in a not-that-we’re-addicted-to-shitty-misery-porn kinda way or whatever, because we’re obvs SO not, that’s YOU guys, this is totally different. We don’t LIKE doing this, we’re only doing it because we HAVE to. It has nothing to do with us not actually minding the writing or the content of what’s being written whatsoever, we just don’t like that it makes Bruce look bad, and as long as you keep fixating on how it makes Bruce look like, duh, what other choice do we have but to make someone else look worse instead? When you think about it, this is all your fault, really.

Anyway. You just gotta love the takeaway.

Us: Griping about something Bruce does in canon and how the writers portrayed it and any resulting followup.

Others in Fandom: manufactures a parallel scenario with Bad Brother/Son Dick Grayson out of a single out of context panel, tinfoil and some dental floss.

Fandom: These two situations are the same.

Us: Okay but see they’re really fucking not tho, is the thing....

#its a Friday night gripe #and Im feeling ripe....#wait. no #thats not a thing i take it back guys I promise Im not ripe I bathe Im hygienic #I Swear

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terapsina · 3 years ago

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3, 4, and 5 for the writing ask? :)

3. Are you trying anything new with your writing (style, genre, etc.)?

Well, I'm trying to finish my WIP for a change, it's something new and exciting.

Seriously though, I don't know, I guess I'm trying to add more action and dialogue to my stories because to me it's easy to spend time in a character's head, where I deal with their feelings and motivations and inner monologues. But making stuff actually HAPPEN and setting the scene is way more difficult for me.

I do think I'm slowly getting better at it. Hopefully.

Also, I recently switched from writing present tense into writing in the past tense, and honestly, that's been a pain but I also like that it's getting easier the more I write like this.

4. What is something you'd like to explore or challenge yourself to when writing?

...finishing a damn WIP (seriously, why is this so hard?).

IDK, I like fixing canon. I like taking the things that frustrate me in the story that was given to me and changing the world to how I'd have wanted it to be (so giving justice to Elena and Caroline, hitting Anakin over the head until I can make him realize his dumbness and save the galaxy or at least get Ahsoka a damn hug, or getting Henry to steal Hook's ring and save his mothers from their stupid pining, stuff like that).

And about me challenging myself... writing is kind of a challenge for me all by itself.

5. Which story is your favorite? Least favorite?

My favorite story is almost always my most recent one, so currently that's She's Come Undone and Set Free. Also known as the story where Elena gets to be angry about the sire bond, and deals with the trauma that stems from having had her free will stolen from her. Also, the story where Caroline's "relationship" with Damon actually gets called what it was, and she finally gets justice and the support and comfort from her friends she's deserved since it happened.

My least favorite fics have either never been posted or have been deleted for how cringy I ended up finding them.

#writing meme #meme #answers #vorpalmuchness

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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

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is it possible to ship levihan but hate hange?

I have been asking this question to myself because god knows how levi doesn't sit right with me, but reading your analysis made me wonder why the fuck did i hate him before. I used to blame him for what happened to hange. yes, maybe i am dumb.

anyways, you're a blessing to this fandom. thank you very much for feeding us.

Thank you for the ask Anon and of course, thank you for your kind words! This made my evening and of course gave me some fuel to rant for the nth time about how much I love these two idiots.

is it possible to ship levihan but hate hange?

No, I actually don’t think so. I think everyone who ships Levihan is an avid Hange stan. I think it requires a minimum amount of love for Hange to actually ship her with Levi.

I mean, given the amount of people who love Levi and his overall role in the story, we have people of course shipping Levi with Erwin and shipping Levi with Eren. To actually like a ship, I generally feel like we all have to like both people in the ship? I mean the whole point of wanting them to be lovey dovey and wanting to explore their dynamic is because we’re fascinated with them as characters right? And why would you read fanfiction and draw fanart of a character you don’t even like.

And I actually thought about this because I do hang around twitter sometimes and I noticed a pattern among Mobuhan shippers… (Correct me if I’m wrong) but what I noticed is that Mobuhan tends to be a secondary pairing for a lot of shippers? Like they would ship Mobuhan specifically because they ship Levi with someone else. Like I did see a lot of twitter profiles had the tendency to scream… AVID ERERI SHIPPER/ AVID ERURI SHIPPER and btw I like Mobuhan.

Levi is an incredibly popular character and he is a top 1 character for a lot of people and if those people are shippers, then of course they’ll ship Levi with someone? I mean, come on give me a shipper who loves Levi and just wants Levi to live alone (or maybe they ship Levi with themselves I dunno). And given the most popular pairings… most of these people probably ship Levi with either Eren or Erwin if not Hange. (Are there other popular Levi ships?) and when they do ship them and they are an avid shipper, sometimes they do have secondary pairings, and sometimes they ship Moblit and Hange by default.

Don’t get me wrong, I find Moblit and Hange an incredibly cute ship. And I think there are a lot of Hange stans who just genuinely like Moblit with Hange.

But the point really I wanted to make is that, one needs to be a Hange stan to actually be on board with the whole idea of Levihan.

And my general understanding behind it is this:

If people hate Hange or ‘they just don’t like her too much,’ they usually see her as some sort of crazy scientist character which is the general interpretation for a lot of casual fans since I have mentioned in previous metas that Hange is chronically criminally misinterpreted and underestimated by fans.

Levi on the other hand is incredibly celebrated by the fandom and we all know that by the amount of ships and the amount of hype he gets. And generally, we get more explicit character exposition overall for Levi than Hange. (Just look at season 3, it’s all Levi exposition) Tbh, he literally gets exposition everytime he shows up, the whole reason why so many people love Levi in the first place.

And compared to other ships, Levihan isn’t generally fetishized. Like sure we do get our fair share of smut fanfiction but a lot of the more popular Levihan fanfiction and posts from what I can see are generally those that celebrate Levi and Hange’s bond more than they fetishize them as a couple. For one, they’re not a male x male couple after all and the male x male couples are generally the ones that get this treatment.

And for people to appreciate the actual non malexmale relationship for Levihan and for people to actually headcanon, write fanfiction, draw fan art and generally want to explore something without the need to fetishize it, they need to have a more in-depth understanding or interpretation overall for Hange’s character which given the state of Hange’s portrayal in canon, requires some emotional investment and some analysis to get into.

Like to be frank, it took some more effort on my end to explore the relationship of Hange and Levi since it was more subtle in canon compared to Eruri. Eruri leading up to season 3 had more explicit portrayals definitely and I completely understand the reason behind shipping Erwin and Levi honestly. (I’m not even against Eruri at all. I do read my fair share of Eruri fics and metas because I love their bond as well.)

Hange on the other hand, although she has her moments, she just generally has this I’ll do my best to stay happy and confident because I'm a commander type of demeanor. And even before she was commander, she did have this happy-go-lucky demeanor and of course, she doesn’ have a backstory so what really is there to explore with Hange’s character right?

We get the ‘I’m tired,’ and in the anime, the scene after Eren attacked her. But Hange’s quick to bounce back. She gets no flashback. She gets no in depth-discussion or explicit proof of her vulnerability and that’s why it’s so easy for people to brush off whatever stuff she goes through.

Like jfc just think 132?? Even when hange was walking to her death, she was literally smiling. She didn’t even have a moment of ‘regret’ unlike Erwin where we had this whole exposition about his regrets and how he would have wanted to see the basement.

All we got from Hange was a ‘that’s that.’ and a ‘please let me go,’ and terrified face hidden behind a smile. And what was the last face they showed before she died? She was smiling. Till the last moment, Hange did not complain, she did not actively show her vulnerability as a character. She never complained. She never talked about her regrets.

The only hint of vulnerability we did get was a ‘let me go.’ then some nervous Hange then her smile that quickly fell for a second.

And which other character rarely explicitly verbalizes their desires? Which character just grins and bears whatever bullshit comes their way? LEVI.

I know I mentioned Levi does get a lot of exposition but if you notice the exposition never comes directly from Levi. Usually it’s from Petra, his squad, Kenny, etc etc. Levi just like Hange never explicitly shows his vulnerability. Hange is just a tad unlucky on the exposition part because no one ever really bothered to say something along the lines of “BY THE WAY HANGE HAS DEPTH” in the actual narrative.

And given that really interesting commonality between Levi and Hange, I just have to point out that their inability or refusal to verbalize their desires is one of the main reasons why they’re two of my favorite characters.

They don’t actively verbalize their desires yet it’s so apparent in their actions and as a stan, I want them to be happy. I want to explore their depth and it just seemed so natural that it’s both of them right? Especially given what had been going on in Season 4. And just look at the fanart? The dynamics of the survey corps post Season 4. If 132 happened, it would have been Hange and Levi living together..

So when people do ask why I ship Levihan for Levi and for Hange? I tend to ask really… who else do I ship them with? It just seemed like the most natural ship to fall into place.

Anyway, I really hope I managed to answer your question. Thank you for the ask again.

#levihan

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