#writing etiquette

[hedgehog-troops]

said this before, will say it again.

making a character christian/muslim/jewish/of any other religion is NOT an excuse to shit on or disrespect the religion. Noe is it an excise to play into stereotypes or to make a mockery out of that religion.

thank you.

[furcoveredinblood]

hey if you send fanfiction writers death threats and rape threats and shit for not updating a fanfiction quick enough for you, you are scum and i don't care what you have to say to defend yourself. it's fucking creative writing, you can be patient and wait for updates just like everyone else. grow up.

[mireume]

the fact some (usually young) people still on wattpad believes its okay behavior to withhold a smut chapter(s) until they get certain amount of reads its horrible etiquette. i'll unfollow on the spot for that sort of thing because i respect my readers.

i would like increased reads on my original fiction as much as the other person. but i rather work on it over a long time and readers genuinely interested to read. its far too easy for authors to get addicted to numbers and stats. when the true gift on sharing a story, is the community and friends you make on the way.

i'm constantly working on having a reliable schedule for future book projects. and to complete them as well. 💛 i hope to see some of you there.

[latibvles]

Sort of a public PSA? — on commenting.

This is a thought after, once again, having a conversation and while yes, commenting is important, I feel like there’s also something else we should be saying:

If you can’t compliment a writer without bringing down another, don’t say anything.

And I’m talking about this in specific because this is what I see most often. I’m not going to screenshot this because it’s on other people’s works and I am very lucky to not have received comments like that on AO3 (which is currently the only place that I have published work), but I’ll do an imitation of what this looks like:

“Wow, this is a great story. All those OTHER stories just make the main character SO PERFECT and it’s just sooo unrealistic.”

This isn’t the compliment you think this is.

It’s very backhanded and the comment really could’ve stopped at the first sentence. Or, even better, comment about what you liked about the story you just read and not what you disliked about other people’s stories.

And maybe this is just a me thing, but writers are also readers and readers read comments, too. And reading negative generalizations made about what could be your particular ficwriting niche isn’t the greatest feeling.

Throwing in a read more because this got long.

“But Poet!” I hear you say, “I REALLY don’t like [insert thing here] and this is the FIRST time I’ve seen it very well-written!!”

Okay well for starters, I highly doubt that there’s only one (1) author who writes that thing well. Also, you can SAY that you enjoyed it without putting down other people in that particular genre. It’s not about what you do and don’t like, it’s about uplifting writers verses putting them down. “I usually don’t read ______, but I really enjoyed this!” Is such a kinder way to say it — and it doesn’t include insulting others in a fandom space.

Ultimately, the comment section exists so you can compliment and otherwise give feedback to the writer. It really, really isn’t a place to vent about your experiences with “bad” fanfiction. I haven’t gotten these comments on AO3, but I’ve definitely got them on Wattpad and Instagram. Most of the time it was never because of genuine love for my writing — it was just because they wanted to bring down others who were writing similar work.

We talk about commenting and supporting writers a lot but what should that look like? I can’t speak for everyone but this is what it looks like for me.

Keyboard smashing, screaming, all variants of “HOW DARE YOU!!” are well accepted and definitely make me smile. If you’re worried that something comes across wrong I’ve memorized tone tags — feel free to use them! I use them with all my friends and in comments when I want to ensure my intent comes across correctly.

Essay-long comments (and subsequently 20+ tags of rambling) are also accepted. Seriously. They spark joy. It’s very kind. Thank you for quoting the details and throwing them back at my face.

Criticism is okay when it’s asked for. I’ve got like … a definitive group people I’m comfortable with reading my work and giving feedback on it when I’m unsure of my own writing. I’m doing this for fun. I don’t need a bunch of compliment-criticism sandwiches, yanno?

If you’re going to tear down someone else’s work — keep it to yourself. You don’t usually read OFC fics but you really like mine? Cool! Tell me that! But don’t insult all the other lovely OFCs in the process. You usually don’t read childhood friends-to-lovers? I’m so happy that I’ve been able to reel you in. But keep the comparisons to yourself.

I honestly see it more than I see people just going “this sucked” on a piece of writing which also isn’t great, but the former is way more common.

“But Poet!” You say again, “I’m entitled to my opinion aren’t I? I’m allowed to dislike things!!”

Yes, you are! And you can have and share those opinions! Just maybe not on a work that isn’t even yours. A ficwriter does not know you hated all the other work out there to understand that you enjoyed theirs. I am someone with very strong Writing Opinions. And I am either sharing them HERE, on my blog, where it can’t really hurt anybody since it’s not like I’m targeting somebody — or I’m getting on a soapbox to my friends for an hour about it in a group chat. Which I think we should do more often.

Remember “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all”? Lets bring that back. Stop with the backhanded compliments fellas. It isn’t cute.

[aikoiya]

On the Kudos thing. I read somewhere that there's a way to game the system in comments & basically Kudos something multiple times, but I forget how.

Alright, to ao3's soon to be arriving Wattpad Refugees, a basic guide to general user culture:

1.) Unlike Wattpads vote system that let's you like each chapter, the ao3 equivalent kudos only allows one per work. Everyone is generally quietly annoyed about this. To engage with each chapter, you're heavily encouraged to comment. Trust me, it makes people's day.

2.) Ao3 has no algorithm. By default it's latest updated work first. You can find things to your taste through searches, filters and tags.

3.) 'No archive warnings apply' and 'user has chosen not to use archive warnings' mean two very different things. No archives warnings means the work is free from any content that could require a warning tag (character death, graphic depictions of violence, non-con, etc). User has chosen not to use archive warnings means it could contain any of the warning content, be it hasn't been explicitly tagged. Treat it like an allergen. No archive warnings apply is allergen free. User has chosen not to use archive warnings, may contain traces or whole chunks of the allergen. If you're likely to have a bad reaction, maybe don't take the risk.

4.) Speaking of warnings, ao3 has very few restrictions on the type of work that's allowed. Whatever your personal thoughts or feelings on that are, thats how the site is. You're likely to run across some dark subject matters and a lot of people are uncomfortable with reading that. You're well within your rights not like these works and have your opinion on whether they should be allowed, but harassing the authors of such works (or any works) is more likely to come back on you than them. Ao3 operates on a strong policy of 'don't like, don't read'. Use the tagging system to your full advantage to only engage with the kind of works you want to see.

We look forward to welcoming you all and seeing the fantastic works you create. Happy writing!

[anxious-m3ss]

“I hope this email finds you well”

First of all the only emails that ever find me well are from AO3

[bunnis-monsters]

“You’re romanticizing it!”

No, actually, I’m sexualizing it. Thanks.

[the-bar-sinister]

Look, I'm going to be honest, I don't care whether people feeding other fans' fanfiction into AI is "legal" or "illegal".

What it is, is rude, entitled, and disrespectful of your fellow fans.

[asexual-fandom-queen]

not to be That Person but when people are like “why isn’t there a big fandom culture anymore?” umm…

maybe this is why???? That an author can spend hours (if not days or weeks or months) on something, have 1,800 people read it, and only have THREE people willing to take a few extra seconds out of their day to comment. Not even something as simple as “thanks for sharing” or “second kudos” or “❤️”

I’m not the internet police. You decide what you do with your time. Just don’t be surprised if the result is that creators leave your fandoms. I’m not writing to scream into the void. If that’s what I wanted, I wouldn’t bother posting. Fandom is a community. It’s an exchange of enthusiasm over this thing we all love. And who’s gonna keep showing up at your house with a goodie basket if all you do is take the basket, slam the door, and leave them outside to watch through the window while you eat?

[clawsnpetrichor]

Having dealt with people JUST like this? Yeah, don't do it.

It's really fucked up when you treat characters like people and people like characters.

[m00neroni]

unpopular opinion but no fan artist or fan writer should have to "apologise" for their absence or "delay" in updates; and nobody should ask them for explanations if they simply stop publishing their content one random morning. for whatever reason

[whomst-the-hell]

“Tammy Thompson,” says Robin, voice choked.

“But Tammy Thompson is a girl?” says Steve, feeling the full effect of Russian drugs and not seeing what Tammy Thompson has to do with him being rejected right now.

“Steve.”

“Oh.”

So maybe he does see what Tammy Thompson has to do with him getting rejected right now.

Ok.

“Did you OD over there?” fear is audible in Robin’s voice.

He steels himself.

“You know… I was never looking back. At Tammy, I mean.”

“That doesn’t really- Thanks, I guess,” Robin sighs.

“No, I- hm. I wasn’t looking at Tammy because… because Eddie Munson sat in front of me in Ms Click’s class.“

“Steve?” Robin looks confused, but there is a hesitant kind of hope blooming on her face.

“And he always wore those rings, you know? And they’d, like, shine in the light. And he had all those fucking chains so even when he managed to shut the fuck up, he was never quiet and- and- fuck. “

“Steve.” Robin’s eyes are wide, understanding dawning on her face.

They sit, facing one another across a bathroom stall, smelling of blood, sweat and vomit. They aren’t alone anymore.

They never will be again.

[ravenelyx]

And somehow I'm both

[frownyalfred]

fandom etiquette

my hot take of the week (that absolutely no one asked for) is that there’s a crap ton of ao3 “etiquette” touted on here that’s actually 100% optional.

really. if it’s not in the TOS and it’s not required by the tagging system, there is no right or wrong “etiquette.”

yes, people sometimes use that flexibility to be dicks, but most of the time I see “etiquette” being enforced on authors who 1) used the tagging system correctly and 2) have inadvertently done something that readers don’t “like.”

examples of this I’ve seen: using the “creator chose not to warn” tag and then not tagging MCD, underage, etc. i.e., things that are absolutely allowed to not be tagged under that broader tag.

another example: writing a fic with a sad ending and not tagging the sad ending ahead of time. absolutely permissible, but if you do this people get pissed.

and another example: using archive warnings and zero additional tags.

all of these are examples of 100% valid and compliant usage of the ao3 tag system. and yet, we tend to penalize fics that follow this tagging style. I’ve seen people rate them, rec them with poorly concealed disgust, or even suggest that they should be reported.

“etiquette” is highly subjective and fandom-dependent. if you ask 10 different ao3 users, you’ll get different answers. pressuring newbie writers to follow your etiquette can make the whole process overwhelming when it doesn’t need to be.

now. there’s complying with ao3 TOS, there’s “etiquette,” and there’s marketing. the reason fics that follow general “etiquette” tend to do better is because they’re easier to find, easier to predict, and easier to filter in/out depending on certain tags and events. easier to sell, essentially.

users who choose not to warn, or use auxiliary tags, tend to see a hit in readership. it’s a known risk. but if the author is making that choice knowingly, that’s the end of the discussion.

etiquette is expected or implied conduct, but it is not required. as a writer, you get to weigh the pros and cons of following fandom “etiquette.” some find it beneficial, others stifling. sometimes it changes fic to fic.

I am wary of a lot of anti-shipping and fandom purity that is starting to masquerade as “etiquette” on here. we need to check ourselves, and remember how highly subjective our wants and desires for content can be sometimes.

[inky-duchess]

Etiquette of the Edwardian Era and La Belle Époque: Courting

This is a new set of posts focusing on the period of time stretching from the late 19th century to the early 20th Century right up to the start of WWI. I'll be going through different aspects of life. This series can be linked to my Great House series as well as my Season post and Debutant post.

I get asked a lot about courting, what's acceptable or what's off limits and how one may woo a prospective spouse. So let's explore how to win the hand and heart.

Meeting (not so cute?)

Firstly, it is really difficult to have a meet cute in the Edwardian era. Women and men are kept separate for most of the day, only really getting to meet at designated events: A dinner, a ball, a social event. Meeting in the park is a cute idea but a gentleman can't just approach a lady (or another gentleman) without being introduced by a third party, either a senior party or a mutual friend. However, an introduction at a ball is sort of like Cinderella's get up, it ceases to matter when the ball is over. Your gentleman must not approach a lady after that ball, he must be reintroduced. Once an introduction has been made, he can speak with her.

An Interest

When an introduction has gone satisfactory, a gentleman must make the first move by calling to her parents'/guardian's home and making a formal request to begin courting. Her parents/guardians must consent, usually leading to a short brief interview of the gentleman's family, his connections, his wealth (though in not so vulgar terms, they may inquire where he lives which is an indicator). The woman's opinion did matter, she could give her reasons for accepting or turning down the offer. When the interest is approved, the gentleman can start offering invitations.

Three's Company

Of course, just because the parents agree, doesn't mean the couple gets to be alone. The young lady will be accompanied by a chaperone either a lady's maid, a governess, her mother or another female relative. While the couple is together, the chaperone will always be a few steps behind or have them in sight. She's there to ensure that nothing more than a conversation happens. This is not only for her young lady's reputation but also to save the man from any claims of impropriety. The chaperone also serves as a sort of spy, gauging whether this relationship is worth pursuing.

Activities & Tokens

A gentleman may invite a lady out to lots of different activities. He can invite her for a promenade at a local park or gardens, out the theatre, visit her at home, invite her to galleries, to balls or to be his companion at sporting events such as the races, tennis matches or boat races. When visiting in the house, the gentleman would be expected to speak with all the family, be polite and courteous. This is how the family guages his suitably. The gentleman must provide transportation and funds for any excursion. Gifts are to be refined as well. Expensive gifts are considered vulgar and will likely be turned down. Small gifts such as flowers, books, cakes are acceptable. Gifts aren't as important as the time spent together.

Rules of Engagement

There are certain unspoken rules surrounding courtship that every gentlemen must follow for a successful courtship:

A gentleman should always pay attention to his lady, and not exclude her or cast her off for others

A gentleman never smokes in front of his lady nor forget to remove his hat.

A gentleman must always offer to refresh his lady on an excursion

A gentleman must defend his lady from any offense be it an insult or a scene unfit for her eyes or within an argument. Throwing in an apology for any offense can add a cherry on top.

However if she's the one giving offense, without any reason, the gentleman must seek to create peace, apologising on her behalf.

When walking, a lady will be placed in the inside of the pavement.

A gentleman should never spend above his means to impress his lady. Staying within his means is not only smart but a show of restraint and a glimpse of what life ought to be if they marry.

A gentleman should always offer his assistance when a lady is exiting a carriage or going up a flight of steps or carrying anything heavy.

If a man accompanies a woman to a ball, he's expected to dance with her on her first and last dances of the evening.

A gentleman must always make his intentions known and not string a lady along with no intention of marriage. He must never joke about his intentions or lead her on.

Marriage

Courtship usually promises marriage which is why a gentleman or lady should not enter into courtship unless they would consider marriage. Courtship may last a few months or a few weeks and while it is going on, both sides should consider whether marriage would be a viable option of either of them. Parents/guardians would be consulted, the gentleman must make his intentions known to her father or nearest male relative before approaching the lady and popping the question. A courtship that doesn't end in marriage is seen as a failure and may damage the reputation of both parties, leading people to wonder what happened and who is to blame. For example is a perfectly eligible gentleman will not marry a perfectly eligible lady or she turns down his offer, people will usually leap to the conclusion that there is something lacking.

LGBTQIA+ Courting

Gay people have always been here. They have courted and they have loved. Whilst it was illegal in this time in many parts of the world, love did prevail. (fun fact: lesbianism wasn't illegal because nobody wanted to explain what it was to Queen Victoria). The good thing to know is that courting whilst gay was likely easier in this period. Whilst there were restrictions and rules for straight couples and chaperones haunted their every step, none of this would happen if two people of the same gender stepped out together. Two gentleman going to the opera together or dining at a restaurant or attending a ball together (dancing in public was unlikely) or two ladies promenading in the park or attending a concert would not be examined like a courting couple. They would have more freedom to move around but of course, with legal impediments PDA was kept a minium. Whilst they wouldn't be allowed to marry legally, there was little stopping couples from moving in together. Nobody would say much about two spinsters sharing a home or two bachelors crashing together