#write to me
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“Write to me, not only when you see me, but also when you feel me; it is at this moment that I am deep inside you.”
@esuemmanuel
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#daily poem#beautiful poems#esu emmanuel#write to me#soulful#touching#writers and poets#writing community#poetry#thoughts#feelings
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My name is Micheal it’s nice to meet you . We’re are you from ? I am from Texas
ah okay I'm from Berlin, can we use the familiar form?
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OMG. LAVENDER ROSES HAS ME ON NERVE,, IDK HOW IM GOING TO STAND SO MUCH UNTIL ONE NEW CHAPTER
THE STORY IS SOOO AMAZING.
HAHA YOULL BE OKAY I PROMISE :)
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FEEDBACK (was the original title for a writing course I once did. Am reposting because I need to start somewhere but Im cringing but would also sort of appreciate feedback)
Feedback is judgement. Feedback is fear. Feedback is Failure. Feedback is shame. Feedback is the paralysis of all hope. It is the execution of excitement about my stupid doomed dreams. Feedback is the death of me.
Examples of excruciating feedback experiences and endurances that prove my point
Having to do a personality assessment test whilst at college. Answered it honestly, although I had no idea who I was back then…so did I really answer it honestly?. The feedback said that I was either a psychopath or a genius.
Remembering all the OCD type actions I had to do before lesson observations by senior members of staff whilst I was a teacher. Praying the same prayer over and over in the car until I got to the school. “Please don’t make me fail, please don’t make me fail, please don’t make me fail. Amen’ The exhausting and tortuous repetition of actions that if not done would completely mean crushingly negative feedback. No wonder I was so exhausted post assessment as the adrenalin wore off.
Feedback from the kids I taught. Their feedback can be the worst. You’re not really a proper person to them if they don’t like you, which in their minds translates to ‘I can destroy you with my actions and my words’. I don’t hold any ill feeling towards those that did destroy me though. It was all my fault. I can still envisage my voice dissipating into the air as I tried to teach some of them. Like making the motion of speech but with no sound. It was when I realised I was becoming partly invisible
Ofsted inspections for someone like me with serious confidence issues. Utterly terrifying
Deciding to leave teaching ten years ago and witnessing the changing feedback from people as the years have worn on. Initial understanding and sympathy breaking down into seeing you as a life loser as you struggle to find something else to do.
Presentations. Having to do a presentation after ‘Brain Boy’ had done his. Brain boy was the cleverest person on my university course.I wonder what he is doing now? Anyhow he did this amazing, astute, confident presentation… and then it was my turn. Even my best friend who was sat next to me said it was actually painful to endure. I was so shy and nervy, I couldn’t breathe and so couldn’t talk. Looking back I can see that I had a sort of panic attack. Someone should have taken me aside. The feedback was…
A few years later I had to do another presentation. God help me I filled my water bottle with gin and drank it whilst waiting to do my presentation. I honestly can’t say how it went. There was a lot of laughter, that’s all I remember but I also recollect that the tutor was called out just as I started mine. That had to be divine intervention. Im not sure if anyone could see that I was drinking. How drunk was I? This was probably my worst experience. You’ll never meet me so i can tell you about it. Not many people know about it. I’m too ashamed. Someone should have taken me aside
Being told by your successful Asian father that you are a disappointment as you didn’t become a doctor like him but also being told its ok because you have children and they’re a lot of work.
Trying to become an artist and doing quite well and loving it, although NOT making any money. Feedback from Father: Being asked by your father if you are making any money from doing your art. Giving up on the art.
Trying to learn about Ayurveda at a high level, thinking about practising it. Bemusement from father at ‘you and your ayurveda’. Can feel myself withdrawing from my interest in ayurveda.
My own running commentary feedback on my life. My daily feedback: Middle aged. Getting older. Weak minded. Confused. Really confused. Lost opportunities. Missed opportunities. Unable to focus. Unable to work out what i want to do. Not being able to do what I want to do. Heavy thoughts weighing down my whole body like an anchor at the bottom of the ocean. Full of regrets. Living a fantasy life. Escaping to my fantasy life. Stereotypical middle aged person who will soon be old and covered in dust in the corner of the room and in the corner of people lives. Crying. Staring. Loser. Bored with my own negativity. Wondering if my negativity is a safety blanket keeping me still, unheard, unseen. Wearing more makeup to cover up Wondering if there is a magical solution to life misery
I need a cup of tea now. This is awful. I hope you don’t feel awful. Bet you want to walk away and make tea too now. Sorry
#awkward#painful#reflection#light#path#self growth#self portrait#note to self#personal#midlifewomen#cringe#idk anymore#idfk#this is pure indulgence#self indulgent#shameless self indulgence#pure self indulgence#write to me#memory#memories#reality#meaning#existence#history#regret#struggle#thought#emotional#just starting#just reflecting
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sometimes a theme recurs in your work without your permission. and sometimes it reaches a threshold where you're like. well now i think this is saying something about me against my will. don't know what though
#creative writing#shitpost#sorry just wrote a third piece with the same underlying idea/premise#which i didn't do on purpose#and now i'm like. well fuck. what's this mean about me?#now i gotta do some self reflection about that
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By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest
#Tutorials & References#Gemstones#Jewels#Art Reference#Writing Reference#Gemstones Reference#If the original marker wants me to take this down I will
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Appreciation post for all the beginner artists who work hard despite the AI looming over us. You are fabulous. You are precious. Keep up the hard work, you are needed.
#begginerartist#beginner artist#writing#art#anti ai#seeing beginner artists' works fills me with joy#truly you all are precious and full of potential
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do people have no shame anymore?
#if you couldn't be bothered to write it i couldn't be bothered to read that shit#this genuinely pissed me off#what even is the point of this? what do you get out of posting something you didn't even make yourself?#im a fanartist the point of it is that i made art with my own two hands! i created something by myself!!!#what the fuck do you get by making a machine do it#ao3#fuck ai#anti ai
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>be me, massive egg
>kind of a 6/10, mid looking, glasses, nerdy clothes, scruffy beard, baggy eyes
>have a type that i have to hots for
>gothy wth bangs, slightly chubby
>egg cracks, transition, dye my hair, change my fashion style, gain weight do to eating healthier
>mfw i became my type
>always was a little bi but now with hormones i start developing more of an attraction for men
>find out i like nerdy, scruffy guys with glasses and baggy eyes
>mfw past me is now my type
>wtf
#this is an excercise in creative writing#it doesnt necesarily descrive me#although it doesnt not descrive me either if you know what i mean
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories
#🌿 misc#idk how to tag this#i just love making lists#and sorting things into categories#pinterest#??#this is part of what motivates me to write i just love making lists of scenes and then sorting them into categories#bangers
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I'd truly be the worst person to stick into a timeloop because I'd really just spend the first 5 years catching up on my book tbr, the next 7 on all the movies and shows that've Been On My List for ages, and then another decade on ao3. like sure nothing may stick but my memories will and i can just go into a supermarket to get snacks and wine each day, and i have art to indulge in. like thanks for the hints on how to get out but respectfully, I am busy
#*mine#mona rambles#i think the one (1) thing that'd eventually get me to try and get out is the not being able to write anything that sticks#that aside? walmart bought immortality cheatcode and baby I'm desperate
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crown jewel/stained glass jello cakes are like beautiful angels to me. it's fruity and delicious. it's retro kitsch. it's an edible example of midcentury minimalist art in every cross section.

i understand the 50s housewife appeal here. if i rolled up to the potluck with a fugly cobbler and my neighbor brought one of these i may have to end my stupid sloppy fruit life.
#i genuinely find nothing more beautiful than this. why.#my dad literally came home and started talking to me abt hmong jello while i was writing this post what are the odds.#jello fever in the air tonite....#.txt
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i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.
#sorry im bored of the same tags on this lmao#sometimes i think the confessional style loses impact because everything has to be excavated from the depths of the soul#and somehow. confessional writing seems to be going with the most disaffected bland sound possible. odd.#i love deeply personal songs! i love when songs sound like they mean something to the artist!#something something wider issue of mining trauma and being performatively vulnerable for quote unquote content#idk i don’t have the actual knowledge to write about this well there’s just something not landing for me recently#mine
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