#wretched balance

[avery-thorne-bookthoughtsblog]

Writing a book where my protag is an incredibly pissed off sociologist given more power than G-d.

Mad scientists are great but there are other kinds of sciences outside of the material ones.  What about a mad linguist?

[soath]

going back and watching the chunk of 4sd i missed and yeah, brennan's approach to forcing the players into the prime role makes sense! i was really gunning for a betrayer god player and i think specifically something fun could have been done with "betrayer god who doesn't want to destroy aeor wholesale because it's actually their unethical experimentation vibe" (or, alternately, when i first thought taliesin might be playing the chained oblivion as a weird messedup sort-of god, already half cannibalized, a maximum nihilism approach where one member of the party is actually trying to sabotage their efforts so they all die). but his reasoning is very sturdy. and with only three episodes, letting the relationship between the prime deities shine was completely the correct choice. even though i think they could have designed a malicious pc to meet it, his standard of You Can Play A Betrayer God If You Can Make Them Interesting worked out, great management.

[darkfictionjude]

BEYBLADE???LIKE LIGHTING L DRAGON BEYBLADE?!?! which beys would the ro have 🥺

Imre: stamina bey

Nia: defence bey

Lorcan: attack bey

[creepfactors]

i didnt think i ever posted these?? heres some art from 2022

[blujayonthewing]

so obviously on a meta level beholders and beholderkin only roll for random eyebeam attacks for game balance reasons, because 'and the beholder has a disintigration beam!! watch out!!' is dangerous in a way that's fun and exciting but 'and the boholder systematically disintigrates each of you, game over' is not, but this mechanic is very funny to me in the specific context of being able to have a gazer as a familiar which is bonded with and theoretically obedient to a player character

all day long he's telekinetically pushing things off your desk over and over like an asshole cat, using fear on passing children, sniping birds out of a flock overhead with frost rays. you get into combat. you tell him to only focus on attacking with frost rays, a thing you absolutely know he is fully capable of doing, and he just simply does not. actually he's gonna go ahead and do whatever he feels like, thanks

[wisdomfish]

Knowing God without knowing our own wretchedness makes for pride. Knowing our own wretchedness without knowing God makes for despair. Knowing Jesus Christ strikes the balance because he shows us both God and our own wretchedness.

Blaise Pascal

[stealthnoodle]

Quick Gronch-posting on main! His ranks continue to dwindle.

Clear eye, full heart, free dick, can't lose. I respecced The Gronch to better reflect his approach to life.

I wouldn't want this motherfucker accidentally succeeding in too many social situations, after all. I regret only that this means he blew his chance to do something that I imagine would have been extremely funny in Act 3:

Out of spite, he's keeping the actual githyanki egg. Will it hatch? Who knows! I sure hope so! Cutscene animations suggest that he stores his stuff in his kidneys, so there's some real Alien potential.

The Gronch also for obvious reasons could not deescalate the situation between Shadowheart and Lae'zel at camp, so I found myself pondering which character's life The Gronch was best positioned to fuck up beyond repair. So I made an informed decision, and then I discovered, to my delight, that you can rename and tweak the appearance of the hirelings.

Anyway, then I got the non-standard game over where Vlaakith wishes you to death. And I got it twice, because it's actually quite difficult to get The Gronch through that scene alive without getting too OOC.

I am also feeling so bad for Astarion, whose relationship status is still Very High despite the fact that The Gronch acts like the bad boyfriend in a Lifetime movie. Everyone who's ever been in this party should be calling some kind of hotline.

I think the enslaved gnomes at Grymforge might be the only people whose situation has been improved by The Gronch so far. I mean, he didn't help them or anything, but he killed all the duerger after he got caught stealing a trap disarming kit and didn't want to pay 50g to smooth things over, went to bed, and woke up to find the rubble cleared, Nere dead, and no sign of the gnomes. Heroism!

[garbagequeer]

considered bisexuality for a week due to my unwavering faith in love everywhere but my heart just wasnt in it due to my hater temperament. this is my beautiful truth

[horsemage]

chronic pain is such bullshit like wdym my body is going to hurt like this forever and I can’t just keep taking a bunch of painkillers about it

[neproxrezi]

if this temporarily becomes An Armored Core Blog then like. oopsie

[avery-thorne-bookthoughtsblog]

Presentation 3

Indi

He circles back behind me and I can’t see him. I don’t have to wait very long before his hands are on my chest. He slides his fingers up and down my chest, varying the pressure he touches me at, and dipping his fingers underneath my corset to tease around my hard, if small, nipples. I’m practically spilling the rest of the way out of the corset in this position, and he is definitely taking advantage of it.

“Present these tits for me, omega,” he commands, withdrawing his hands. “I can tell there is a source of sin in them from the way your scent thickened at my touch.”

“Yes, Father,” I reply. I pull them the rest of the way out of the corset, the now-empty cups serving to display my large breasts even more impressively.

“Oh, what a beautiful chest you’ve been blessed with, sweet one. What a joy that will bring to your future husband,” he says as he hefts first one tit, and then the other. “How sensitive are these, I wonder?” he asks, stroking his calloused thumbs over my nipples.

I jerk, the sensation immediately triggering a sweet rush of pleasure throughout my whole breast. I feel an echo of the pleasure pulse in my core, and I lift my chest higher, enticing him to play with them more without even realizing it.

“Oh? Does somebody want more?” Tomás asks, his voice deep and raspy.

“Yes, please, Father,” I whine. I don’t know what it is about this whole scenario—this is never something I’d considered before—but having him play this role has totally soaked my panties at this point.

My pussy aches, and I’m uncontrollably clenching on nothing, saddened by the emptiness yet appeased by the clench. I’ve never felt like this before, never knew it was possible to be this horny—or enjoy being horny like this before.

“Alpha, I need—” I stop, choking off my words. I don’t even know what I need, really.

“I know just what you need, omega. And I’m going to give it to you. You need to be cured.”

He begins to stroke my nipples again and again, pinching and rolling them between his fingers.

I gasp and squirm, each pull sending bolts of ecstasy throughout my body. I can feel the cool air on the moisture between my legs, my thin underwear long since leaked through. My whole pussy is throbbing, especially my clit.

The fact turns me on, and I feel a clench start from deep inside of me. I can feel the orgasm looming, my body preparing and opening for the sheer size of it, slick rushing out of me.

And then he stops, and pulls his hands away.

“Yes, you definitely liked that,” he says, walking around me again to where I can see him. “Now we can begin to cure the source of the problem.”

He sits on the stool and scootches closer, spreading my thighs apart with an impatient shove. He lightly traces his finger up and down my center, circling my hole with slightly more pressure before trailing it up my slit. He stops when he gets to my straining clit, swirling his finger around it where the fabric clings, defining it. “Let me take these off you, omega.”

I nod, and he pulls them down, baring my pussy to his gaze. I hear him growl with desire, and the rumbling sound makes my pussy throb.

[daincrediblegg]

Funny how writing a post about a muppet christmas carol can lead to it getting demoted from best christmas carol adaptation

[forsworned]

OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DONT YOU????

Entangled

Ft. simon x therapist!reader / ghoap x reader

sum: simon becomes dangerously attached to his therapist & soap helps him keep you close.

contains: anypov, unhealthy boundaries, manipulative ghoap, obsessive behaviour

wc: 1.9k

a/n: this was a random last minute thought and i just decided to write it so yeah

You've been Simon Riley's therapist for months. A man shrouded in darkness, his past being a labyrinth of pain and trauma that would have broken most people. You, however, were trained for this—prepared to navigate the intricacies of his mind. Though, you weren't prepared for how he would begin to infiltrate yours.

It started innocently enough. Simon, or Ghost—you weren't quite sure which side you knew—would linger a bit longer at the end of your sessions, his dark eyes searching yours as if trying to find something beyond appropriate concern.

His walls were high, but you could see the cracks forming. He'd mention tiny details, almost as if he wanted you to know him, to understand him beyond the professional façade.

"You're the only one who understands me," he would say, in a voice low and rumbling in a way that sent shivers down your spine. "You're too good for this job.".

At first, you dismissed it as progress. In therapy, trust was paramount, especially with someone like him. But then the compliments got personal.

"You look beautiful when you smile," he murmured one day, his gaze heavy with something you couldn't place.

It was a red flag, but you just ignored it. You had to be professional, after all. Though, it wasn't long before the boundaries began to blur. He'd ask questions about your life, your past, your thoughts. You tried to steer the conversation back to him, but it became increasingly hard, he was insistent.

Then, there was Soap—John MacTavish. He was different compared to Simon, open, more...human in a way. He'd pop in after sessions, light conversation, always keeping an eye on you. You thought at first it was just friendly discussion. Then you began to notice he would always manage to steer you into situations where you were alone with Simon, almost orchestrating your interactions.

One evening, after a very tough session with Simon, Soap invited you out for a drink. It seemed innocent enough—just a way to unwind—and since he wasn't your patient, you figured it would be all right. As the night wore on, though, you started to notice the way Soap's eyes flicked to the door every time someone came in, almost as if he was expecting someone.

Then, out of the blue, Simon appeared.

He slid into the booth beside you. His presence was overwhelming in the small space. Soap excused himself for a moment and you were alone with Simon inside this dimly lit bar. The atmosphere was charged. Air was heavy with unsaid tension.

Simon's eyes seemed to bore into yours as he slid into the booth, a suffocating presence. The closer he got, the greater the wave of heat that washed through you, yet it was not like any warmth that brings comfort. It was something else, something that made your heart race with anxiety and unease.

"Simon," you began, your voice just a shade unsteady, "I don't feel this is a good idea. We need to keep things professional between us."

But Simon didn't budge an inch, didn't even flinch. His gaze remained locked on yours—dark and inscrutable—the weight of his stare holding you in place. He leaned in just far enough that the warmth of his breath was felt against your skin.

"Why?" he asked, murmuring the word quietly. "We're only talking, aren't we?"

His voice was so calm, almost caressing, but with an undercurrent of tension that had you on edge. So very wrong, yet his very look, the way his presence seemed to envelop you, left no room for thinking straight.

You tried to pull away, slide out of the booth, but Simon's hand shot out, closing gently but firmly around your wrist. "Don't go," he sort of murmured, his thumb tracing slow, deliberate circles on your skin. "Just stay a little longer."

The pressure in his touch made you shiver; you were pinned by the intensity in his eyes. You knew you had to go, that staying would only blur the lines further, but something in his eyes, something raw and vulnerable, held you in place.

"I really should-" you began, standing up slightly, but Simon cut you off with his tightening grip, barely enough to keep you in place.

"Please," he whispered, his voice low and filled with some emotion you couldn't quite name. "You're the only one who understands. The only one who sees me for who I really am."

The vulnerability in the words, the near pleading in his voice, tugged at something deep within you. Against every alarm bell ringing in your head, you found your hesitation, your weakening resolve.

Then, as if on cue, Soap reappeared. His expression was casual, but his eyes were sharp as they caught the scene. He guided you back to the booth as he slid in beside you, effectively boxing you in between him and Simon. In any other case, his presence was supposed to be reassuring, but it felt like the walls closed in on you even more.

"You alright?" Soap asked, light, almost too casual. "Looked like you were about to leave."

You opened your mouth to reply, but Simon's grip on your wrist tightened again, not painfully, but enough to remind you that he was still there, still watching, still waiting.

"I'm fine," you managed to say, though your voice came out weaker than you intended. "I just—this isn't professional."

Soap locked gazes with Simon, something wordless passing between them that twisted your stomach. He leaned in, his elbows resting on the table, his eyes soft while looking at you.

His smile was surprisingly broad, but his eyes seemed sharp, cutting. "I understand where you're coming from," he said, his voice smooth, nearly soothing. "You've got your ethics, and I respect that. But sometimes, those rules can feel a bit… restrictive, don't you think?"

His words were so carefully chosen, designed to sound understanding, but there was something more, in a subtle manner, the pressure was there. The push to get you to question your own boundaries. His gaze never breaks; his eyes lock onto yours in a manner that is very hard to slip out of.

"You've done so much for Simon," Soap went on, his voice a degree softer now, as if he was sharing something deeply personal. "You've helped him in ways no one else could. We both know he's not an easy man to reach, but you did it. You got through to him."

Simon's grip on your wrist was unyielding, much like his presence— a subtle reminder of just how tangled in his life you were beginning to become. He said nothing at all, but the silence was loud enough, an unspoken agreement with everything Soap was saying, it felt almost rehearsed.

Soap leaned back a bit, just enough to give you room to feel like you weren't completely cornered but still close enough that it wasn't easy to slip away. "I've known him for years," he said, with a voice like brotherly affection that made it hard not to trust. "I've seen him at his worst, and believe me, you're the best thing that's happened to him in years.".

His words were honey: sweet, smooth. But there was a sharpness beneath, like an edge of metal that kept one on one's defence. "I get that you're trying to keep things professional," Soap continued, his tone almost regretful, as if apologising for what he was about to say. "But have you ever considered what pushing him away might do to him?

The implication set your heart sinking, the feeling of guilt already coiling around your chest like a tightening rope. Soap was making it sound as though stepping back, keeping that professional distance, would abandon Simon when he needed you most. It was an argument carefully crafted to strike at your empathy, your compassion—the very qualities which made you good at your job.

"You've already crossed lines to help him," Soap said, his voice lowering as if sharing a secret. "You've been nice to him, understanding. You've given him hope. And now he's holding onto that, to you. If you pull away now…" He trailed off, tilting his head, letting the silence fill in the gaps, letting you imagine the worst.

Simon's thumb brushed over your wrist, gentle, almost a comforting act, but all it did was remind you that he was there, still waiting for a decision. He'd said nothing, but the silence was loud.

Soap leaned in again, his voice barely above a whisper, but each word was crystal clear. "We're not asking for much," he said, almost pleadingly. "Just be there a little longer. Let him know you're not going anywhere. He needs that from you. He needs you."

The way Soap spoke, the way he phrased it, made it seem as though walking away would be cruel, heartless. As though you were the one with the power to either save or destroy Simon. The guilt gnawing at you, made it more and more difficult to think straight, to hold on to your own sense of what was right and wrong.

"And you're not alone in this," Soap added, his hand coming up to rest on your shoulder, the touch warm, grounding. "We're here for you too. Simon isn't the only one who values you, you know. We both do. We see how much you care, how much you're willing to do for others. That's admirable. But you don't have to do it all on your own."

His words started to envelop you like a warm blanket could, comforting yet smothering. He was turning your very empathy upon you, making it feel like the only compassionate choice remaining for you was to stay, to keep blurring those lines.

"Simon's not just a patient," Soap went on, his voice now low and full of quiet intensity. "He's a good man who has been through hell and back. You're the one bright spot in his life right now. Don't take it away from him. Don't be mean and hurt him." he pouts to emphasise his point.

Simon’s grasp on your wrist relaxed ever so slightly as he turned to meet your eyes with almost-pleading ones. "I need you," he finally murmured, his hoarseness from emotion practically bleeding through his voice. "Don't leave me."

His words hit you in the gut, square, the naked vulnerability within his voice leaving little room to decline. Between Soap's smooth persuasion and Simon's soft, ragged desperation, the walls felt like they were shrinking in on you, constricting the available space until it seemed there was no way to escape, to leave.

The professional bounds you had worked so hard to maintain were crumbling. As much as you knew you needed to stand firm, their words, their presence made it feel like you would abandon them if you did. Soap was right there to support whatever call you made, but his words had long since guided you to the one they both wanted—the one where you stayed.

"Please," Simon whispered again, his voice cracking a little. "I don't want to lose you."

It was a plea you couldn't ignore, one you couldn't deny. And as you sat there, pinned between the two of them with the weight of their expectations crushing down on you, you began to realise that to walk away wasn't only hard but damn near impossible.

Soap pipes up with a smile as he takes your docile silence for an answer, “Soo, another round?”

༄ m.list

© veritasangel ↣ 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴

[asterdeer]

have had only a sausage biscuit and a melon flavored energy drink to eat today and am feeling a little queasy, my options are ‘throw something in the air fryer that is actually made of food’ or ‘make tea and hope the cream counts as a food group’ and unfortunately the 2nd wolf is winning

[evilminji]

You think the Zone has its version of Comic Con?

Like? Think about it. You have literally all of time to work on it, your Magnum Opus, your life's work. That DREAM comic. All the supplies you could ever wish for. Endless paper. Endless ink. You can practice and practice for CENTURIES until it's JUST right.

Wouldn't you want to share it?

There are definitely Ghosts who have Obsessions that make them collect.

And two people meeting would lead to a group. Lead to a bigger group. Lead to a large group. A gathering. A crowd even. Eventually you need a Lair to meet IN. It becomes An Event.

People hear about it.

Want to bring other art mediums. Food stalls. Report on it. It grows. Shoot offs start happening. Niche meet ups.

But like?

Unlike comic con? It's all FREE. Sure, you might have fork over the ecto to make your copy. And yeah, weaker ghosts can only do that so many times. Will have to prioritize. But? They can come back after leaving for a nap. Ask a buddy to come with. There ARE work arounds.

Just? Imagine the unbelievable HIPE? Danny would feel? But be unable to TELL anyone about? Zone Con happens several times a year! Cause so many people wanna come. The Zone being infinite, after all.

Problem 1? They're using THEIR standard of a "year". Which is actual 5 earth years. So it's only happens every year and a half for him. And Problem 2? He can't even TALK about how excited he is about Z Con with anyone (outside his friends and family) because they haven't heard of it and might Ask Questions.

It's ALSO held in a part of the Zone that's like? Three days of flying away from the portal. And no amount of begging is gonna get any of his loved ones to camp in the Speeder for around six-ish days just to go to a Con.

So you can imagine his DELIGHT. His utter JOY and *Target Spotted* "!!!" Noise, when? In the crowd? He spots A HUMAN! Hi fellow human!!! Omg, wanna be Con Besties? *doesn't even wait for an answer*

So now? This sad, blonde, deeply lost and kinda alarmed, trench coat dude? Is Danny's new Z Con Going Bestie! You got a map yet, bestie? No? That's cool, he has one. By the way, he has human food in the Speeder if you nee-

YES!

Cause, see, here's the THING. John? Lost to the Realms Infinte. Or Infinte Realms. Translation was iffy... and on fire... like the rest of the building. It was him or the kids those psychos had kidnapped, for what fucked "ritual" the voices in their heads, that THEY thought were demons but frankly he's pretty sure was just feedback from-

Look, doesn't matter, he had to choose. He always knew someday he'd have too. That even twisting Luck and talking fast wouldn't quite be enough. And he had to decide, in that moment, which outcome mattered more to him. They get out safe, or he does.

Wasn't much of a question, was it?

So, there he is. Staring down oblivion and all those debts unpaid. 'Bout to see who's gonna come for him this time, and take what left of wretched soul. When? He bleeds on the FUCKIN two-bit crap circle they squiggled in God only knows what. Remembers that "oh YEAH, set dressings!" Sometimes when you focus too hard on insuring a Good Outcome?

You weird weird as shit byproducts happening on the side to balance it all out.

Or BAD ones.

He wakes up someone fucking green and crowded. For the life of him can't tell you which one it is. And THAT was of course, bout two days ago.

Biggest and most immediate problem? He... does NOT recognize what flavor of magical fuckery this is. Doesn't seem Fae. And doesn't smell like Hell. There are... there are honest to God BOOTH BABES hanging around. Hunks too. The view is LOVELY.

And nerdy.

Very, very nerdy.

But he isn't THAT out of touch. So he should recognize SOMETHING. Or at least the languages. But nope! It's like aliens and magic had a nerd baby and dipped it in GREEN. And the worst thing? Is there is food everywhere, but it all glows and John's not stupid enough to eat it.

Then? Sweet merciful fuck. Salvation! Some teeny bopper Barely No Longer Teen fresh faced INFANT of a Hero kid. With a SHIP. Who has FOOD and a clear idea of where they are. Hello~ John's new BEST FRIEND. Yes. Absolutely. Con Buddies, whatever.

Just feed me, kid.

Only? Once he inhales like 5 "Fenton rations"? He only gets half way through introducing himself before getting interrupted. Kid hears "magic" and "occult Detective" and just? Goes "oh! So you wanna check out the magic Ally with me? Sam wanted me to pick up some witchy stuff!"

..............how magic?

(In Which? Constantine becomes Danny's interdimensional Con buddy)

@the-witchhunter @hypewinter @hdgnj @mutable-manifestation @lolottes @nerdpoe

[boneblushed]

Is it chill that you’re in my head?

synopsis your best friend James isn’t sure why he’s so angry about the fact that you’re going on a date with someone else.

wc 2.6K

“He’s looking over here,” James sings under his breath, his brown eyes full of mirth. He’s balancing on the spindly hind-legs of his library chair, the Potions essay he’s supposed to be doing laid out in disarray.

You send him a reproachful look. “You’re being malicious.” When you turn back around to face Davey Gudgeon’s table, there’s a split second of eye contact before he ducks his head down abashedly, his cheeks a brilliant rouge.

He has a crush on you, apparently. Sirius and Remus had overhead him talking about it on his way down to breakfast this morning—about how prefects rarely escaped unscathed after sharing something as intimate as a Saturday night duty.

James Potter, your best friend and a royal pain in your ass, finds this revelation abso-fucking-lutely hilarious for some reason. Asshole.

“Au contraire,” he murmurs, the grin on his face audible, “I’m being a world class wingman.”

The look on his face is downright dangerous. He waggles his eyebrows at you suggestively, unperturbed by the frown on your own, a warning. Easing forward until each hind-leg finds the ground with a resounding thud, he cups his hands around his mouth, whisper-shouting, “Oi! Gudgeon!”

Davey Gudgeon reddens further, a feat you didn’t think was possible until now. He glances over at James dismally, a furtive expression on his face. “What?” He mouthes, sending you this weak half-smile. It’s sort of sweet, almost contagious. You find yourself smiling back at him on instinct.

“Come over here, you bludger,” James chastises, like that’s the obvious next step. To be fair, it probably is to him — he’s never shied away from flirting with the girls he fancies, a self-proclaimed dating aficionado with way too much chat for his own good.

Davey hesitates, his nervous gaze flitting to you momentarily. He looks as though he wants to do just that, but isn’t sure whether his crush on you is reciprocated. Sweet.

He has gentle eyes, too, pretty juniper with bright specks of burnt ochre. A nice head of brown hair. If it was cold outside, you bet he’d offer you his Quidditch jersey without hesitation.

You think you need sweet, all things considered. You’ve known James Potter all of seven years now, had a wretched crush on him all of five, and never once has he indicated that his aforementioned expertise could ever extend to you.

It’s high-time that you gave your pathetic heart a rest.

“You’re making him miserable,” you mutter, ever-reproachful.

Davey hasn’t moved yet, though you’re sure he wants to, his hands braced on the table in front of him apprehensively. He keeps looking between you and James, surveying his options; in order ease his anguish, you decide you’d better make the decision for him.

You push your chair back and stand up, it’s spindly legs scraping against the vinyl floor forebodingly. James looks up in surprise. “Where r’you going?”

“To Gudgeon’s table.”

“Why?” James urges, perplexed. He half-stands too, his features a smidge less mirthful than before.

“So you’ll stop,” you reply, frowning down at him.

He raises his arms in surrender. “I’m stopping.” A pause. In the beat that passes, his assessing gaze falls over you in paces. “You’re not… you’re not keen on him too, are you?”

You think on this, cocking your head to one side. “I don’t know. Maybe? He’s kinda sweet.”

“But he doesn’t even have the balls to come over here and ask you out properly,” James whisper-shouts, mildly exasperated.

You’ve never once called him sweet.

He’s had this tragic crush on you for all of seven years, and never once has he been on the receiving end of such a fond adjective. He’d only made a fuss over this Davey situation because he was sure it was just a jibe — no way someone like you would be interested in a guy like Gudgeon, no way you would even entertain the possibility of more than friends.

Right?

James wants that more than friends thing with you, bad. This morning, when Sirius’d brought up Bludgeon’s crush on you—sniggering violently—he’d snuck a glance at your features to ensure that it wasn’t reciprocated. He’s sure he’d caught a bit of second-hand embarrassment, though maybe it was actually just tender hearted diffidence. Maybe Davey fucking Gudgeon had something that he somehow didn’t.

Right now, James’d give up his head boy badge and Quidditch captaincy to acquire that something. His chest hurts terribly. He runs his sloven fingers through his unkempt hair, sending you another look of bewilderment.

“Because you’re here,” you reprove. “Course he’s not going to come over when the James Potter is taking the mickey out of him.”

You say his name like it’s an insult. James’ heart plummets. “I’m not — he’s welcome to come over,” he argues quietly, chagrined. “Besides, he’s going to have to get used to me if he wants to be your boyfriend.”

“Why?” You frown. “I always bugger off when you’re with another girl.”

“That’s different,” James insists, frowning in tandem.

“How’s that different?”

They aren’t you, James thinks vaguely. His poor heart blunders for the umpteenth time this afternoon. “None of them are girlfriends.”

“Not for lack of trying,” you mutter. James swears he hears a hint of spite in your tone. “Doesn’t matter, anyway. M’going over.”

James slumps back into his seat reluctantly. He knows that you’re right, begrudging as that revelation may be — he is always flirting with one girl or another, though that’s more so to pass time than anything particularly serious. Never you. You’d see right through him, anyway. Besides, the last time he tried, it’d been so disastrous you’d assumed he was joking.

It’d been at that Halloween party they’d had in the Gryffindor Common Room last year, firewhiskey flowing and sweet treats piled atop every surface.

You were wearing this gorgeous, albeit bemusing, costume of a Muggle someone — Wonder Woman, or something, James didn’t quite understand it. Showing a lot of skin. Your pretty eyes were accented by rouge glitter, lips all glossy, and your exposed limbs and bare waist had eased his heart right into his throat.

And James Potter didn’t often find himself lost for words, but it appeared as though this party was one of those exceptions.

“Woah,” he’d murmured, wolf-whistling lowly. He was in this ridiculous, Babbity Rabbity costume (courtesy of Sirius, who was a cackling pot), feeling entirely out of place when you looked so beautiful. “Christ, Y/N, who’re you meant to be? The hottest muggleborn at Hogwarts or something?”

You’d rolled your eyes then, because no way he was serious. “Don’t tease, James. Did you guys manage to snag any cauldron cakes?”

He’d been too busy to insist his sincerity, fond gaze travelling down your bare limbs, slow. Lingering on the wafer of exposed waist between your corset and skirt. He’s still agonised by the want to touch your soft skin; that wretched Hogwarts shirt tuck has prevented this from happening.

“By the fire,” he’d answered after a beat, dazed.

And when you’d fallen out of earshot, James’ eyes still trained on your figure, Sirius and Remus’d come up behind him, the latter wearing Muggle-manufactured fangs. (Supposedly, he was meant to be a vampire.)

“You’ve got a tragic affliction, James,” Sirius’d tutted under his breath, faux-apologetic. “How’re you somehow able to flirt with every girl in this room except the one that matters?”

“Shut up,” he’d muttered back at the time, though as he thinks back on it now, he realises that Sirius was right.

For some reason, with you, he always manages to say exactly the wrong thing. He watches Davey scramble to straighten as you near his library table, the heat on his neck rising until his entire face is in a flush. And you’re smiling as you sit down beside him, this sweet, unabashed smile that looks too much like feelings reciprocated. Something in James’ ribcage cracks, an ugly emotion springing forth from within it. But he’s immobile, hands on the table and furrow in his brow, agonised by the fact that you’re looking at Davy all fond, not him.

Never him. You ask a question—James is trying his best to lip-read, but it’s difficult not to get carried away staring at your mouth. Davey nods, and then reddens some more. Then you stand up, feelings-reciprocated smile on your face as you walk back over to the table you’re sharing with James.

“He looks pleased,” James mutters grumpily.

You frown. “You don’t.”

“You’re doing charity work,” he answers, ignoring the insinuation. “You know that, right?”

“James,” you sigh, “you’re being unkind.”

“Because he’s punching.” But James knows this is unfair. He’s pretty sure every bloke in Hogwarts would be, if it was you and them.

—

“James,” Sirius calls, bemused. “You coming mate?”

Its autumn in Hogsmeade, and they’ve reached a cross roads.

The path to the left of them leads to the Hog’s Head Inn, one of their favourite haunts in the village due to its relative unpopularity. To the right, where James is glancing furtively, the cobblestone pavement takes them toward the Three Broomsticks. Where you are. With Davey.

Remus shares a knowing look with Sirius. “Think he’s in the mood for one of Rosmerta’s butter-beers, actually.”

James groans, scrubbing his calloused palm down his face slovenly. He knows exactly what he’s insinuating; Remus always has been the most astute of the lot. “Don’t bloody start.”

Sirius grins then, reaching for James and throwing an arm around his neck. “Reckon you’re going to need something stronger than butter-beer if you’re planning on watching Gudgeon snog your girl.”

His heart plummets. There’s that ugly emotion again, rearing its contemptuous head at him. “Wormtail’s there too,” he tries, shoving Sirius off. “We should go say hi.”

“Oh yes,” Sirius allows, his brown eyes full of mischief. “The one Marauder with a girlfriend. You after some tips, mate?”

“Cut him some slack, Sirius,” Remus chastises, though there isn’t much fire to his tone as he says it. “Reckon he’s miserable enough about the fact that the one time he fancies a girl she isn’t interested.”

James frowns, sending the pair of them a look of determination. “Look, shove off, both of you.” The crease between his eyebrows deepens further, keenly resolute. “I just want to check on her, alright? Make sure that bludger isn’t pulling anything funny.”

“Right.” Sirius nods soberly. “Or snogging her to death.��

“Fuck,” James groans again, his insides squirming. “You’ve gotta stop putting that image in my head.”

He turns toward the path to his right, the cobblestones plush with Autumn leaves, when he spots your figure in the distance and freezes. Coming closer. You look beautiful in this matter-of-fact, effortless way that makes James’ heart stutter; your pretty eyes are alight with mirth as you catch his gaze, this fond smile on your lips that makes him want to kiss you. Bad. He swallows thickly, his chest a pathetic mess.

Sirius and Remus must spot you too, because the pair of them beginning walking backward toward the Hog’s head, their eyebrows raised in tandem.

“She isn’t with the bludger, Prongs,” calls Sirius, a knowing lilt to his tone. “Now’s your chance.”

“My chance?” James asks, distracted.

“To snog her, you idiot.”

But James doesn’t hear him. Partly because the wind’s picked up, mostly because it’s difficult for him to concentrate on anything but your growing closeness.

Once you’re within earshot—more of you to agonise over, exposed waifs of skin like a siren song—he stumbles forward clumsily.

“Y/N,” James breathes out, pleasantly surprised. “Where’s Davey?”

You grimace, looking over your shoulder furtively. “I’ve just escaped him.”

James’ stomach deflates, relief washing over him in waves. He raises his eyebrows playfully. “Escaped?”

“Don’t,” you warn, frowning sternly. “He… he’s alright, really. Just doesn’t really know how to hold a conversation.” You grimace again. “Or take a hint. Like, at all.”

“Yeah? Why’d you say that?”

“Well,” you begin, and then you shiver, moving closer to James without meaning to. “Christ, Potter, you’re a really good wind shield, y’know that?”

“At your service,” he murmurs, inching forward too. “You were saying?”

You gaze up at him, the rough planes of his face ever present, and you’re struck by the revelation that he doesn’t need an old Quidditch jersey to keep you warm. He’s a furnace of body heat and cedar-wood cologne.

“Well,” you continue, voice low, “after two butter beers and absolutely zero chat, I’d sort of assumed that he’d have realised that this just isn’t going to work.”

“But…?”

“But,” you grimace, “he asked me out again.”

The way your features twist as you say it, as though that’s the last thing you want to do, wrings any residual jealousy he may be feeling right out of his stomach. He’s struck by this suddenly, overwhelming urge to caress your jaw and pull you closer.

“And let me guess,” James murmurs, grinning fondly. “You said yes.”

“I said I’ll see.”

“I worry all this charity work’s going to be the death of you, Y/N.”

You crinkle your nose up at him, punching his chest playfully. “Don’t you start James Potter.”

James raises his arms in surrender, still grinning. His gaze lifts above your head to take in the footpath behind you, and he finds himself looking right at the burly figure of Davey Gudgeon trudging toward the pair of you.

“Bloody hell,” he mutters, raising his eyebrows. “You weren’t kidding about him not being able to take a hint, huh?”

You furrow your brow, looking over your shoulder bemusedly. When your head whips back around to face him, your eyes are wide and a little tortured, dappled by the warm, orange hues of Autumn. A damsel, James’ thinks, dazed, as if that’s a normal thought for a eighteen-year-old bloke to have. He’s already spiralling over kissing you and it’s been all of five minutes.

“Is he looking over here?” You ask, your voice low.

James’ eyes dart back to Davey. “Uh, yeah?”

“Good.”

You wrap your arms around his neck hurriedly, leaning forward and pressing your lips against his. James takes a second to recalibrate, his poor heart a mess, but when he does, he’s quick to circle your waist and pull you closer, his strong arms firm and torso warm on your figure. It’s a deft kiss, chaste as it is agonising, though kiss enough for him to memorise the feeling. The buttery taste of your lips, the perfect way they appear to mould against his.

It’s a tandem emotion — you’ve revelling in this kiss far more than you should, the arduous pressure of James’ lips on your own. He’s going to leave a mark. He tastes like sugar quills and feels like the death of you, his sloven hands pressing into the bare skin of your waist.

When you do finally pull away, your cheeks are warm and you’re a little breathless. “S’he still there?”

A beat passes. James doesn’t look up.

You mistake his pause for unease, and grimace abashedly, looking away from him. In hindsight, you aren’t sure what possessed you to kiss him like that — you want to pretend it was to stave Davey away, but your traitorous heart says otherwise.

God, you think, it was a really good kiss. If only James liked it as much as you did.

If only you knew.

“Sorry,” you add in a hurry, still grimacing. “I — I wasn’t thinking, I just didn’t want Davey to come over here and I —”

“Y/N,” James interrupts, his voice rough, gravelly around the edges. “Stop talking.”

You let out a breath. “Why?”

“I want to pretend you kissed me because you wanted to, just for one more second.”

“What?” You ask, your eyes wide. “Why?”

James thinks, isn’t it obvious? He’s still marvelling over how perfect your mouth is.

“Because,” he admits quietly, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.”

You don’t know what to say to this. Your still chest to chest with less than an inch between your figures, and you can feel your poor heart struggling to free itself from its cage. “You have?” You say, suddenly bashful.

James nods. His pupils are a little blown, his unkempt hair a mess, and he keeps his gaze trained on your lips as though he’s being paid for it. “And listen,” he murmurs, reaching forward to thumb over them softly. “Don’t worry about Davey Gudgeon.”

“Why not, James Potter?”

“Because I’d sooner die than let that bludger bore my girl to death again.”