#wow that’s a shit load of tags

[lunarlivs]

pov: you’re harry being born to a bunch of 21 year olds

their thoughts and doodles below the cut <3

[astonmartinii]

day six: not so home for christmas | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem reader

oscar and y/n are having their first christmas in monaco because of a snow storm, unfortunately this also means they're now hosting most of the grid as well.

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 137,094 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: thanks a lot snow storm :( i guess it's our first ever christmas here in monaco

view all comments

user1: yall global warming might just be real

user2: you're only just realising it now ?

charles_leclerc: you kids and your complaining - a white christmas in monaco, what more could you want?

yourusername: a christmas at home with our families?

charles_leclerc: families? when you're in your adopted father-in-law's home city, i'd watch your tone if i were you

oscarpiastri: if you think of your kids as often as you say then you should be worried that your aussie son is going to FREEZE to death :(

charles_leclerc: if it's the bbq you crave, you can still do that?

yourusername: it's snowing? and he is NOT bringing our bbq inside

charles_leclerc: okay jeez, not much christmas spirit here i see

oscarpiastri: we miss our families, sue us

user3: wait... if they couldn't get out of nice... who else couldn't

user4: the storm kicked in like a day ago right?

user5: based on instagram activity, my guess is that max, lando, ollie (idk why he was in monaco anyway), kimi (i think he's attached to ollie), alex (and lily) and george

user6: i know it would never happen but wouldn't it be so cute if we got a grid christmas dinner

yourusername: please don't give them any ideas

oscarpiastri: i only just got rid of them 😩

landonorris: so, just out of interest, is y/n still free to maybe wrap my presents for me?

yourusername: do i look like the christmas fairy to you?

landonorris: well i know for a fact that oscar's ass was not wrapping those presents

oscarpiastri: well y/n actually likes doing things for me soooooo

landonorris: PLEASE Y/N I'LL HAVE TO RESORT TO USING TIN FOIL

yourusername: tin foil... please you are a 25 year old man

landonorris: does it look like i'm a man who has sellotape in his house?

yourusername: no.

user7: y/n is like a full time mum to a load of men all older than her

user8: she better get ready to cook for them at christmas because none of these men can cook for themselves

oscarpiastri

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 692,108 others

tagged: yourusername & landonorris

oscarpiastri: i'm not sure how this went from our lonely christmas away from both of our families to babysitting half of the grid but what the hell, sure

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user10: i personally blame all of you for this

user11: and what??? i'm so excited

user12: i hope they post nothing more just to spite your ass

charles_leclerc: i’m kinda offended no one thought of coming to mine :/

maxverstappen1: you’re shit at cooking

charles_leclerc: how would you know?

maxverstappen1: i saw it in your vlog

charles_leclerc: you watch my vlogs???

maxverstappen1: NO?

yourusername: okay queens stop flirting and get back to your stations in the kitchen

charles_leclerc: can we flirt there?

yourusername: if you're still peeling - knock yourselves out

user13: y/n basically confirming lestappen? wow christmas DID come early this year

user14: the real question is why she would let those menaces in the kitchen?

yourusername: i have seen how much these people eat, i need help even from the useless

yourusername: also if they want certain dishes from home they have to help

maxverstappen1: i am CORING AS MANY APPLES AS I CAN I PROMISE THE APPLE BEIGNETS WILL BE WORTH IT

oscarpiastri: i know they will be, y/n is making them

maxverstappen1: okay buddy, i don't see you helping

oscarpiastri: i am keeping everyone else in line, that's a full time job as well

user15: who made the youngest couple in charge of these fools?

user16: a comedic genius

yourusername: they're annoying but i'll deal with them for you

oscarpiastri: you make such sacrifices for me, i love you

yourusername: i love you more

alexalbon: we're really not that bad you guys are being dramatic

yourusername: george walked up to our mantle piece, pointed at my baby picture and said "ugly. my condolences" ?

alexalbon: that's george ? he's mean to everyone

yourusername: HE'S IN THAT BABY'S HOUSE

olliebearman

liked by charles_leclerc, estebanocon and 418,934 others

tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri & kimiantonelli

olliebearman: first christmas with my big brother :))))

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user17: yall be on oscar about him holding onto the leclerc family joke but the real enemy is ollie

olliebearman: i think it's cute

olliebearman: and it's NOT a joke

user18: you know what? yeah i'd also keep going with the joke i need to get in that leclerc family

olliebearman: the real catch here is y/n she's going to teach me to crochet :)

yourusername: we can make little bear mans !!!

user19: the grid dad stuff was cringey... but grid brother well that's hitting like crack i fear

charles_leclerc: grid dads are cringey ??? count your days

user19: sorry?

charles_leclerc: i (and my family) will NOT tolerate sebastian vettel slander. not now not EVER

fernandoalo_oficial: and me?

charles_leclerc: i couldn't give a fuck about you old man

fernandoalo_oficial: excuse me

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll have you know i am just as much oscar's father as you are

charles_leclerc: and how have you come to that OBVIOUSLY WRONG conclusion

fernandoalo_oficial: WELL i don't know maybe his REAL grid dad is actually mark webber who i have a well documented homoerotic relationship with and therefore oscar and most importantly Y/N are my children

charles_leclerc: what a load of bullshit

charles_leclerc: if grid children were based on homoerotic tension then i'd be father to all of the red bull juniors and max would have custody of the FDA

maxverstappen1: well....

pepemarti: hi !!!

dinobeganovic: hey.....

yourusername: what happened to the original plot of the movie

user20: i think the cabin fever is getting to them

lilymunhe: no they're like this all of the time it's exhausting

yourusername: tell me about it

olliebearman: but not me :(

yourusername: no we love you

oscarpiastri: you are the least annoying one

olliebearman: omg thank you :3

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 163,207 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc & landonorris

yourusername: not so home for christmas but with family nonetheless

view all comments

user22: what was the dress code here?

landonorris: what we had left? all the dry cleaners are closed because of the storm

yourusername: you take ALL of your clothes to the dry cleaners?

landonorris: why wouldn't i do that...

yourusername: yk what, whatever !

user23: omg of course leo was there as well

yourusername: we only invited charles for him

charles_leclerc: excuse me?

landonorris: he was invited ????

oscarpiastri: well he was staying in monaco anyway and you guys all invoked your squatters rights in my house so what was one more

landonorris: i am not squatting? my ass is already big enough as it is

yourusername: i know your ass is big because YOU'RE ALWAYS SAT ON IT

oscarpiastri: god i love you

yourusername: i love you even more

oscarpiastri: nuh uh not possible

yourusername: i love you so much i'm not even that angry about half of the grid crashing our christmas

oscarpiastri: i love you so much that i personally barged a child out of the way to get you your eras tour merch

yourusername: i do love my merch.... but not as much as i love you

oscarpiastri: you're so romantic

georgerussell63: right that's it, i am SICK of you people pretending you are not enjoying our presence

yourusername: did i or did i not say family ???

oscarpiastri: george i'd appreciate if you didn't talk to y/n this way

maxverstappen1: yeah back the fuck off

georgerussell63: why is max here?

maxverstappen1: ummmm y/n busted her ass to make apple beignets for me so i had some netherlands with me at christmas so i would die for her. i am somwhat fond of oscar as well

maxverstappen1: so fuck with them, you fuck with me

maxverstappen1: and you seem to like doing that recently

yourusername: awwww thanks max!

oscarpiastri: we are fond of you too buddy

georgerussell63: how did i lose this?

user24: max out here getting wags on his side

maxverstappen1: that's my ma

maxverstappen1: wait that makes my homoerotic tension with charles incest

maxverstappen1: that's my home girl

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, jackdoohan and 1,094,577 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: y/n absolutely smashed our makeshift grid christmas and she said she'll accept thanks in qualifying tows or easy passes on track 👍

view all comments

user25: oh they want me dead

user26: i would do questionable things to get a slice of that cake

user27: drop the recipe please xxx

yourusername: oh babe i be following the tiktoks like the rest of yall - i'll repost it

user28: woman of the people

yourusername: babe i don't really remember saying those exact words...

oscarpiastri: PLEASE ! they don't say no to you now you've filled their stomachs

landonorris: he's not wrong

maxverstappen1: you're in my will now

charles_leclerc: you're now my favourite daughter in law

yourusername: i'm your only daughter in law?

charles_leclerc: idk kimi and ollie are pretty attached with their weird tension

landonorris: like father like son

charles_leclerc: huh?

landonorris: huh?

oscarpiastri: ^^ see !!!! y/n please !!!

yourusername: fine.

yourusername: thank you all for coming, i hope you enjoyed dinner and your time with us. i loved spending time with you all but if you wish, i will be accepting thanks in the form of qualifying tows and easy passes for oscar or pornstar martinis from any hospitality

yourusername: happy?

oscarpiastri: yes

oscarpiastri: YOU HEARD THE WOMAN GUYS

maxverstappen1: oh i love y/n but i'd rather put you in the wall than let that ugly orange car past without a fight

georgerussell63: @fia i told yall

yourusername: are you ever gonna give that up ?

georgerussell63: no? and i KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO SAT ME NEXT TO HIM AT DINNER

yourusername: you'll never prove it :P

user29: oscar is such a sassy man

yourusername: he gets it from his momma

oscarpiastri: and you :)

yourusername: i will say your ability to watch my reality tv with you is a big factor in how much i love you

landonorris: is that why oscar once woke me up the night before a race by shouting "get her ass lisa" ???

oscarpiastri: we watch real housewives together on facetime :)

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 1,130,672 others

tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

charles_leclerc: i made the right choice in son and most importantly daughter in law

view all comments

user31: okay the cinnamon buns have thrown me over the edge now

user32: i NEED to know who asked for them

alexalbon: guilty 💅 and they slapped thanks y/m

oscarpiastri: we've been dating for years? like when i was still in f3?

charles_leclerc: semantics

oscarpiastri: no i met and charmed y/n all on my own thank you very much

charles_leclerc: because she saw the future and the potential of our prosperous family !!!

oscarpiastri: at this point, whatever you wanna hear old man

charles_leclerc: relegated below ollie

olliebearman: score !!!

user33: oh these people are never letting this joke die are they

user34: i think we're stuck with it

charles_leclerc: are you people sick of whimsy ???

charles_leclerc: i am ALLOWED to flex my son's amazing choice in women, especially a woman who will make me a swiss roll on demand

yourusername: he does have amazing taste

oscarpiastri: thank you :3

yourusername: as much as you guys were somewhat annoying, we had an amazing christmas xx

oscarpiastri: please do not bother us until march

charles_leclerc: fine. but we're still on for the double date in melbourne?

charles_leclerc: (maybe triple? idk ollie can just bring kimi)

kimiantonelli: score !!!

yourusername: we would love to !

oscarpiastri: i guess you could meet my actual family ?

charles_leclerc: not now oscar, let me enjoy chritmas with you all before you remind me of that

oscarpiastri: okay?

user35: y/n and oscar actually have the patience of saints because if these clowns crashed my christmas i'd be on the news

yourusername: any christmas is perfect with him

oscarpiastri: with y/n, i can get through even the most annoying people

user35: okay yall didn't have to flex on me that hard damn

fin.

note: here's day six! i'm not sure if you guys saw my update post but this series won't be done by christmas day but will stretch to NYE because unfortunately my cat has to be put down :( i've had him for nearly 19 years and it's really hard to think about him being gone so i'm just spending as much time as possible with him atm. anyway, i hope you enjoyed !! xx

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪𝘪. (𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳) ⛵️

⤷ summary: miami and monaco. just lando being horribly down bad and y/n being at her wits end. poor oscar just can't escape the train wreck that is two losers with feelings and zero (0) emotional competency .

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liked by landonorris, ynusername, and 45,790 others

tagged oscarpiastri and landonorris

mclaren sorry to report that the only good thing about miami was the weather! (and the celebrities)

17,492 comments

user1 it's okay admin, you can say the car was shit

mclaren yeah the car was shit

user2 mclaren team is cursed i fear

mclaren alr where my witch baddies at? please unhex us pls pls pls

user3 uhm!!!????

mclaren desperate times desperate measures and all that jazz

user4 normal people: oh no the car is bad. yn: we're cursed for generations to come ☹️

landonorris i didn't get to meet shakira, what's the point of going on living

mclaren there is none! kys

landonorris oh wow

user5 nahhhh she gettin fired 💀

user6 not a single photo with lando's face 😭

user7 boohoo ☺️ OSCAR FANS, THEY BROKE BUT WE UP ‼️‼️‼️

user6 ok enough

landonorris post me challenge (difficult)

mclaren uh no (: go talk to hr bro we do not careeeeeee

user8 this beef is crazy, yall havent made up yet

user9 DOES ANYONE EVEN KNOW WHY THEYRE BEEFING 😭

oscarpiastri yeah

mclaren hey oscar! great race

oscarpiastri don't ever lie to my face like that again

maxfewtrell gonna build the car myself at this point

user10 i see a podium in our future everyone say thank you max

user11 y/n livestream when 😔

ynusername (;

user11 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

user12 lando and admin flirting again, who could've guessed

user13 ... she told him to kill himself

user14 the enemies to lovers is enemying 🤩

user13 yeah, it's giving enemies to lovers but no lovers only murder

mclaren truth.

user12 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HWRE

user15 mclaren, fire everyone and hire y/n as the engineer/ strategist/ driver/ pit crew/ pr

mclaren we winning 🥱

oscarpiastri you'd be the only one finishing cause everyone else would die ☝🏻

mclaren shut the fuck up oscar 🙄

user16 flying cars they said 😔

mclaren how the mighty have fallen

user17 WE THE BEST TEAM ON THE GRIDDDD YUHHH

mclaren i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this

user18 it's been 20 years since i've seen my husband 😞 (admin won't post pictures of lando anymore)

mclaren your husband is ugly as fuck

landonorris what the fuck!

mclaren get off your phone loser

user19 full oscar picture when (i'mbeg ging you please i needg it nowe)

mclaren BAD DOG DOWN OMFG

lilyzneimer i would argue you were the best part of miami

mclaren YOU ARE SO FINE YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEAUTIFUL GIRL 🤭

oscarpiastri GET AWAY FROM HER YOU FREAK 🤺

user20 y/n being unprofessional on the team page, who's shocked

mclaren and the world kept spinning

user21 we all know who was really shit here (looking at you lando)

mclaren it's not funny when you do it.

landonorris when she defends you 🥴

mclaren i'm telling a trusted adult danielricciardo

danielricciardo what the fuck makes you think i can be trusted

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would you like to join? yes or no

now loading...

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The image flickered onto the screen as the broadcast began. Lando, clothed comfortably in sweats, a cap, and his streaming headphones, looked briefly off camera to where his guests sat waiting to be introduced.

He glanced up at Streamlabs and was shocked to see he had upwards of 30,000 viewers. He had only just started the stream and many people had likely not even gotten the Twitch notification yet. He shook off his shock and plastered on his usual smirk.

Everything is fine. I am totally and completely fine.

"Welcome, welcome. How are you all doing today? There's a lot of people here already. What's the special occasion guys?" He joked, being met with a scoff from the girl to his left.

Everything is not fine at all.

Lando almost never felt nervous when he would stream. After all, he was just playing game with his friends, the chat comments streaming through at a speed he could barely read. Even then, being in Formula One for so long meant he was used to being watched, his every little move being observed nearly constantly since his debut in 2019.

And yet all it took was her presence and suddenly he was nervous. His palms were sweaty, his heart was beating at a mile a minute- honestly you would think he were racing. How could he be expected to be funny and charming when she was here. She never seemed to struggle much in the department. It was almost entirely natural for her. Being perfect was like breathing air to Y/n he suspected.

As he watched the chat messages stream past even quicker on his monitor, he finally caught Oscar's gaze out of the corner of his eye. The younger man quirked a brow at him. What's your problem? His teammate seemed to say. He ignored him. Stupid Oscar and his stupid opinions and his stupid, uncomplicated love life. Lando envied the Australian most days, but now he just wanted to punch him straight in the jaw.

"Alright, it seems like most people are here already, so I'll just get started. I'm sure you're all wondering who my special guests are. The suspense must be killing you surely," He teased his audience. He ignored the completely accurate guesses in his chat.

Was he so predictable that it could be assumed it was either his teammate, Y/n, or Max were his special guests? Or was this a more unfortunate warning sign that he was just plain old boring.

"Seems like most people in chat were smart enough to figure it out! Please give a warm welcome to my guests! The lovely, stunning, awe-inspiring Y/n!" He cheered as the girl groaned, rolling her chair forward so she was behind him and within the frame of the camera.

"Oh and also Oscar's here," Lando added boredly, voice almost entirely monotone. Oscar scoffed loudly and he shot into frame kicking Lando's chair roughly, almost knocking him over and startling a laugh out of the girl behind them.

"Your an asshole mate," Oscar scoffed. Lando didn't hear him. The melodic laughing in his ear from Y/n was quite frankly the only sound his brain could process.

Who knew a laugh could sound so beautiful.

Who knew I could be so god damn embarrassing, Lando thought miserably.

"Guys do you see what I have to put up with!? How I get any shit done around here is a wonder," Y/n scoffed, "Anyways, welcome everybody, this is my stream now." Lando squawked indignantly.

"Excuse you, your in my home!"

"Yeah, unfortunately," she muttered with an eye roll and Oscar laughed.

"You should be grateful! Although these aren't the circumstances I was hoping to have you here under for the first time," Lando said with a completely unsubtle wink.

Y/n grimaced and Oscar doubled over with the force of his laughter.

"Viewers I am so sorry, please leave now, I have no way to muzzle him and apparently I can't sensor him," Y/n scowled.

"I fear he might enjoy that," Oscar muttered with a shake of his head.

Oh you motherfucker, Lando thought. Talk about subtle.

"If it was you, I probably would," Lando said to the girl and she planted her palm into the center of his face and shoved him lightly.

"Oh gross, cooties or STDs or whatever it is you men carry," Y/n shook her hands off and fake gagged.

"EXCUSE ME!" Lando shouted as Oscar nearly fell out of his chair.

"You're excused!"

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Y/n was holding on to her sanity by a thread. Or whatever was smaller than a thread... a hair or something. They had been answering fan questions for nearly 15 minutes already and Lando had decided today would be the day he would do nothing but flirt with her incessantly. He was like a child with a question or dog with a bone; He wouldn't let it the fuck go.

The sound of text-to-speech beginning dragged Y/n out of her thought spiral.

"Lando, what is your favorite video you've ever filmed?" The question asked.

Oh brother, Y/n thought. She looked at Oscar and he only laughed. How helpful.

"Probably the water TikTok challenge," Oscar hummed in agreeance.

"Why?" Y/n asked in confusion. She realized belatedly that asking Lando anything right now was probably a bad idea. She had set herself up this time.

"I don't know, I'm just a personal fan of anything that involves your hands in my hair," He smirked and she rolled her eyes. Her stomach flipped as she looked at his eyes. How could such a stupid, stupid man have such nice eyes (and lips, and teeth, and-).

"Well that's interesting," She smirked back, leaning her body toward him, ignoring the way she was blushing down to her chest. Her ears felt hot. It was hard to focus when she felt like she was burning alive, an unfortunate side effect that seemed to come with the irritating Brit in front of her.

"That was my favorite too," she added and Lando's eyes widened. Oscar looked at her in confusion over Lando's head.

"Really?" Lando asked, suprise clear in his voice. His smirk fell away for only a moment, but it was long enough for Y/n to notice.

Poor little Lando Norris, she thought. A bit too easy to read, this one.

"Yep," she grinned, before letting her face fall. "I'm a big fan of anything that means I can drown you." She responded in a monotone voice. Oscar cackled. The poor guy had hardly been asked any questions. Y/n found she didn't feel too bad anyway. The asshole was enjoying her suffering far too much.

Y/n knew the chat was going wild at their interactions, but she didn't really find herself caring. Maybe this was a bad look from a PR stand point, but then again didn't they always say "any press is good press."

Y/n wondered if the idiots who said that had ever had an inappropriate attraction to their asshole of a coworker, who just so happened to be public figure with fans who were becoming more aware of the tension with every day that interacted.

Probably fucking not.

Y/n watched as Lando's faux upset face cracked into a smile as he began to laugh heartily. She couldn't help but smile. Y/n was finding it hard to hold onto whatever grudge she had before. Maybe Lando Norris and his perfect smile, and his stupid jokes and his charming attitude weren't all that bad. Maybe, just maybe.

But they had absolutely no affect on her. None at all.

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liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 38,924 others

tagged landonorris

ynusername monaco post-gp (help me this guy is stalking me i can't get rid of him help hel

11,209 comments

user22 damn he took out my girl mid-sentence 😔

user23 Y/N POSTED LANDO?? AM I DREAMING?? AM I HAVING A STROKE??? OH GOD AM I DEAD

user24 girl calm the fuck down

user25 DOES THIS MEAN THE BEEF IS OVER

ynusername yes! (he has a gun to my head)

user26 LANY/N SHIPPERS WE RISE ONCE MORE

user27 get it together, they've posted together ONCE

user28 is lany/n in the room with us

user29 "lando and y/n getting along isn't real, it can't hurt you!" OH REALLY

landonorris i had other plans but i cancelled them to be your tour guide, you're welcome

ynusername me when i fucking lie

oscarpiastri do my eyes decieve me

ynusername shut up oscar

landonorris yeah shut up oscar

user30 couples that fight their friend together, stay together

ynusername i can and will block you 😃

user30 oh.

oscarpiastri no it's fine i didn't want to be invited

oscarpiastri i totally hate the ocean, it's not like i surf or anything

oscarpiastri looks boring, would've hated to go on a boat

landonorris other than the fact that i lost my flip flop in the ocean, it was fun i guess

user31 good job lando this came off exactly as nonchalant as you hoped king

ynusername HAHA LOSER YOU LOST YOUR SHOE

oscarpiastri I LOST SOMETHING ONCE 😞

user32 close enough, welcome back brocedes

ynusername literally what is the correlation here

user32 idk leave me alone

user33 um so this is actually insane

user34 i screamed so loud my neighbors called the cops because they thought i was being murdered

user35 can you be normal

user36 this might be the first original experience

user35 no, not original, just embarrassing

user37 i want to be excited about this but it feels so sinister

ynusername good, it should be

maxfewtrell never in my 23 years of living could i have expected this (lando messaged me to tell me what he was doing today)

user38 posting a comment is optional

maxfewtrell i have fomo, can i live

user39 lany/n shippers all around the world cheered

user40 oh you different friend!

user41 onto something ❌ on something ✅

user42 and the crowd is... the crowd is leaving??

user43 my crew lets go

user44 "war is over" we all say in unison

oscarpiastri not likely 💀

user23 HELLO OMFHADFSLJ

danielricciardo oh so you can hang out with him in monaco but not with me

ynusername sorry babygirl 😔 i didn't mean to abandon you

danielricciardo ew never fucking mind

maxverstappen1 i live in monaco too! hope this helps

ynusername i knew that already! hope this helps

maxverstappen1 oh.

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ynusername posted to story!

(caption: he won't leave me alone, this is sick)

17,822 replies

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landonorris posted to story!

(caption: she's trying to convince me it's cold out... girl no it is not)

24,006 replies

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I AM SOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK 5 MILLION YEARS TO BE UPDATED!! i am hoping to be more consistent moving forward, but my schedule is a bit of a mess with school. hopefully i'll be able to get some requests fulfilled soon as well though!

most importantly, thank you so much for all the love and support on this fic!! the amount of comments, asks, and dms asking about updates was staggering and it makes me so happy that you all like to so much (: receiving such positive feedback for this fic has honestly rejuvenated my love for writing so much, and i can't express how much the support means to me.

please keep leaving comments and dms with your thoughts, i love reading them <3 hope u enjoyed!

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[deadratdonoteat]

You and Zoro run into a strange man.

Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Tags- Kissing (not the mouth), possessive, fluff, a little spicy

W.C= 2k

“This way,” Zoro said confidently. We took yet another left turn. We had already got what we needed and dropped it off at the ship. Now we were just wandering around. Zoro said he saw a sake shop and was leading the way to it. Leading the way to it was a lie. We were completely out of the village. Somewhere in the forest surrounding it. You were stupid to allow the swordsman to guide the way.

“As much as I enjoy our time alone,” you started Zoro stopping and turning to face you with an eyebrow raised, “We should head back to the village, the sun is setting,” you finished. A scowl appeared on his face.

“We're almost there,” He mumbled before turning back around. Stomping in the wrong direction. Sighing, you were going to allow this for just a little longer.

“HELLOOOO THERE!” a random voice called from behind a tree, startling you both. Zoro immediately stood in front of you, his guard up. Squinting your eyes to see the approaching figure. A man wearing very little clothes came into view. Both you and Zoro made a face of disgust. Why was this guy wearing that? The larger man wore only a white cloth that covered his junk. Zoro rested his hand on a hilt of one of his katanas.

“Wow, I come in peace,” exclaimed the guy, putting both hands in the air. Getting a better look at his costume, he was Cupid. Small white wings were barely visible from behind him.

“What's with the costume?” Zoro said while placing his hand on his hip. The stranger looked offended.

“I’m Cupid! Of course!” Zoro raised a brow at the strangers' words. “Do you need something?” you asked while stepping to the side to be beside Zoro. The guy, who's going by Cupid, seemed surprised to see you.

“My what a beautiful woman you are,” His eyes raked your body. A shudder of disgusted crossed you. Zoro scowled again.

“A woman as beautiful as you must not be single,” Cupid continues. You were slowly starting to get weirded out.

“Like she just asked, Do you need something?” Zoro huffed. His anger was rising. Cupid's lustful eyes shifted to your crewmate. His eyes seemed to flicker with an idea.

“You seem like a good match for her, indeed” the guy said while nodding. Now you both were definitely weirded out. The stranger made a gesture with his hands. A pink bow materialized out of the air. Zoro stepped in front of you again, unsheathing one of his swords. Just like the bow, a pink arrow appeared out of nowhere. You both waited for him to fire it. As he drew back the string, Zoro got into a battle stance. As the arrow was flung straight at you guys, Zoro quickly made a slice at it. The arrow seemed to turn into mist once it made contact with his sword.

“You can’t cut my pretty arrows,” Cupid started, “They will only stop once they hit something,” As soon as he finished his sentence the pink mist passed Zoro’s katana and formed into the arrow again, hitting the tree behind you.

“What a pain.” Zoro mumbled. Taking out the rest of his katanas. The cupid seemed shocked once Zoro placed a sword in his mouth. He loaded his bow again, taking aim at Zoro.

“Three sword style,” Zoro shouted. Wind rushed past you as Zoro zoomed behind the man. The pink bow turned to mist and Cupid’s eyes widened. His body hit the floor with a slice through his exposed chest. You jogged over to the two.

“You alright?” you asked Zoro as he put away his swords. He turned to you, your eyes widened. A pink arrow stuck out of Zoro’s arms. Zoro followed your gaze to his arm.

“Shit,” he cursed, “I didn’t even feel it,” He moves to grab the arrow but it turns into the pink mist, the mist sinks into his skin. “What the hell!” he shouts and tries to wipe his arm.

“Let me check it,” You say and grab his arm. His skin is warm. You couldn’t tell if that was from the lame fight or the arrow. There wasn't even a scratch from the arrow. It was weird. Zoro shuts his eyes, his brows furrowed, a strained goan leaving his mouth.

“Zoro?” you asked. Taking your hand off his arm. His face was a little red. Reaching to feel his head for a fever, his hand quickly grabs your wrist. His eyes flutter open to meet yours. His pupils are blown. They seem to change once they focus on you. The black pupil changes shape. It was concerning to watch. The normally circular pupil was now heart shaped. You gasp. Zoro's eyes widened. He drops your hand and takes a step back. Blush creeps up his neck to his ears.

“Zoro? Are you alright?” you asked, his eyes became half lidded at your voice. He closes the distance between you two. You crane your neck to look up at him.

“I feel…Hot all over,” he says breathfully. You bring your hand back up to place it on his forehead. His skin was now hot to the touch.

“Zoro you're burning up,” you drop your hand slightly Zoro quickly catches it and places your palm to his cheek, “I need to get you to Chopper,” he leans into your hand. He closes his eyes, seemingly relishing in your touch.

“Zoro,” you whisper. His eyes open halfway to look you in the eye.

“I don't need Chopper.” he says slowly, his deep voice vibrating your hand, “I need you,” Your eyes widen along with his. The sunset in the distance perfectly lit up his flushed face. “I-... I can't control myself Y/n,” his grip on your hand tightened.

“Okay we definitely need to get you to Chopper,” You pull your hand away. Looking at the swordsman, his brows furrowed, seemingly arguing with his thoughts.

“Y/n..” he whispered. His eyebrows curled. His expression looked utterly pathetic. Your heart skipped a beat. Zoro would rather die than look pathetic, especially in front of you. You tilted your head.

“Don't let the others see me like this…please,” he was begging you. You nodded at his request. The string that held his sanity together seemingly snapped. His grey eyes shifted colors. His eyes met yours, his now pink eyes met yours. Had that devil fruit user really been Cupid? You asked yourself. Zoro started to lean in, his eyes slowly closing. Your hand covered his mouth once he got close enough. The back of your hand touched your lips. He seriously just tried to kiss you. His eyes opened with sadness.

“Y/nnnn..” Zoro whined. Your cheeks heated up. He was acting so differently. He just tried to kiss you and now he's whining that you didn’t let him.

“Zoro, we need to head back,” you said, pushing his head up. He let out a long sigh.

“Just a kiss before we leave?” he asked so sweetly, “No,” you shot him down immediately. As much as you wanted to kiss him, he wasn’t in the right mind. He whined as you started to head for the village.

Zoro was kinda slow in this love stricken form. You had to hold his hand to speed him up. The sun had fully set. The village stayed lit with street lights. You needed to make it back to the Going Merry without the others seeing you.

Walking down the street you could see someone with orange hair, headed your way. Quickly leading the sluggish Zoro into an alleyway. You pressed yourself against the brick wall. Zoro slouched and rested his head in your neck, still towering over you. His hands grabbed your waist. Your hands went to his chest, ready to push him off. You stopped moving when you saw Nami pass by. Suddenly a wet sensation was felt on your neck. You choked back your gasp. Zoro had licked your neck. Turning your head to look at him, he started kissing your neck. Your face heated up. He started lightly sucking at your skin.

“Z-zoro stop, you're going to leave a mark,” you whimpered into his ear. He visibly shuddered at your voice. As you go to push him away, his grip tightens on your waist. He bites down to make you stay in place. A small moan slipped past your lips. This was something you had always wanted to happen but not with him basically being drugged.

“If you won't let me kiss your lips, then i’ll kiss everywhere else,” he said right next to your ear, The deepness of his voice was intoxicating. He placed a kiss under your ear, before moving to the other side of your neck. His teeth sunk into your skin, not enough to draw blood but hard enough to leave a bruise or mark. You couldn’t stop the moan that left you.

“Zoro we need to get to the ship,” you said shakily. You could feel his smirk on your neck.

“So we can be alone in your room?” he asked while pulling away from your neck. You gave him an angry look but it quickly changed when his hands went under your shirt. His large calloused hands rested on the bare skin of your waist. Zoro bit his lower lip once his hands met your skin. His hands were cold compared to his face. Pushing him away to leave the alleyway, his hand wrapped around you. Looking up at him in confusion, “Don't want to lose you,” he said with a cocky grin.

You just ignored him and started carefully making your way back to the docked ship. Thankfully you didn't encounter any other crew members. The ship seemed to be empty, which was a huge plus.

“Let's get you to your room, big guy,” you said as you stood on the main deck. Zoro leaning on you and swaying. You could feel his head shake at your statement. Grabbing his much larger hand, you started basically dragging him. As you opened the door to his room and led him there, you sighed with relief. You had fulfilled Zoro’s wish and made sure no one saw him. He sat on his bed, legs wide open. His arms behind him for support, his head hung low to avoid looking at you. He looked so good. His plain white shirt was tight around his muscular form and he was breathing so heavily.

“Alright zoro, do you need anything before I leave?” his head perked up. He was in front of you in an instant. You took a step back instinctively. He took a step closer. Your neck was craned up to look at him. His expression was dark.

“Z-zoro?” you stuttered as your back hit the door. He approached you slowly. One of his arms came up to rest on the wall right next to your head. He placed his other hand on your hip. He caged you in. He tilted his head to the side. A grin appeared on his flushed face.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Zoro said lowly. A shiver ran down your spine.

“What do you mean?” you asked cautiously, still unsure of what affects he was under. He lowered his head. His breath hit your ear.

“You’ve been dodging all my attempts, it hurt my feelings,” he said with fax sadness, “Won’t you make up for it?” he finished with his puppy eyes. His eyes glanced at your lips. Sighing, you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Be gentle?”

“I’ll try,”

His mouth crashed into yours, teeth clacking slightly. He was hungry. The hand on your waist slithered its way under your shirt. He pulled back his head to move to your neck. Hickeys and bite marks have already formed from earlier. As he sucked at your skin, both his hands went down your body. Your feet suddenly were lifted from the floor. He picked you up so effortlessly. Both his hands cradled your ass. You expected to be carried to the bed but your back was pressed against the wall. It was such an erotic position. Your eyes widened at the friction on your crotch. Zoro grinded his bulge against you.

The sensation was mouth watering. Zoro lifted his head from your bruised shoulder. In such a seductive and low voice he spoke,

“I’ve always wanted to try this position with you~”

<3

[imaginesig]

“Could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived”

pt2: "Ditch the clowns, get the crown / baby I'm the one to beat"

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

SMAU

The reader is a singer-songwriter who just broke up with long term fiancé Lewis Hamilton. Of course she wrote a gut wrenching album to cope.

This is gonna be a lot of shitting on Lewis— absolutely no hate! I just love a good heartbreak and the Tortured Poets Department

Also dates aren’t accurate bc I don’t have time to worry abt all that and I totally stole all of this from real life- not an ounce of originality

yn_ln

Liked by lewishamilton, mercadesamgf1, user28, and 928,928 others

yn_ln: pinky promise to always by your side 🏎️

Tagged: lewishamilton

lewishamilton pinky promise to always be by YOUR side

yn_ln ♥️

mercadesamgf1 always a pleasure to host our pop princess!

yn_ln always a pleasure to be hosted!!

user1 looks always kill in the paddock

user2 ugh to be in the F1 paddock watching my driver fiancee on weekends I'n not touring

user3 stunning!!

user4 the pinky promise makes me physically ill😭

user5 fr WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN

carmenmmundt gorgeous! Always a good time with you 🫶

yn_ln dinner soon?

carmenmmundt yes please!!

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lewishamilton

Liked by yn_ln, user2, mercadesamgf1, and 810,298 others

lewishamilton: could’ve been better but back to work for next week

Tagged: yn_ln

user1 being a Hamilton fan used to be fun, I used to be happy

user2 the second photo is so fanfic coded I can't

user3 omg yes!!

user4 maybe Ferrari will be championship #8

user5 hottest couple in the paddock

mercadesamgf1 watch out Australia 👊💥

yn_ln

Liked by lewishamilton, sabrinacarpender, user92, and 929,290 others

yn_ln: Argentina I’m so glad we were able to dance my best dress with you! Until next time 🫶🎇

tagged: no one

user1 BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE

user2 babe wake up a dancing Taylor post just dropped

sabrinacarpender such an electric crowd!!

yn_ln thank you for your hype work

lewishamilton: wonderful show once again!!

user3 best night ever

user4 AHHH STUNNING

user5 manifesting tickets so hard rn

lewishamilton posted a story

Caption: Help me hold on to you ♥️

ynupdates

Liked by user1, user5, user9, and 819,109 others

ynupdates: Superstar Y/n L/n and boyfriend Lewis Hamilton after her show in Argentina!!

tagged: lewishamilton, yn_ln

user1 LMAO the update account rlly said she's everything and he's just Ken

user2 the wine was iconic!!

user3 omg that's my photo!!

user4 we thank you for your service

user5 you know she was jumping with joy bc of those boots

user6 omg irl! I can't imagine how her feet feel after heels all show

user7 they are so sweet

user8 get yourself a man who takes you out after work

user9 my fav couple fr fr

Twitter—

yn_ln

liked by sabrinacarpender, carmenmmundt, user9, and 928,029 others

ln_yn: Round of applause for Brazil for their incredible rain show!!

tagged no one

user1 the first pic 😳

user2 chills, literal chills

user3 the entire vibes of the whole show was wow

user4 I agree and I was watching through a fuzzy live stream

user5 anybody else need illicit affairs (angry verson) on Spotify now

user6 me me me!!

user7 Y/n make it happen

user8 it kinda felt personal ngl

user9 best night ever!! I went as fearless in a gold dress and to say I danced in a storm in my “best dress” with Y/n was incredible!!

user10 omg that’s so lucky!!

yn_ln

liked by user92, sabrinacarpender, girlsinred, and 928,929 others

yn_ln: Thank you South America for welcoming me with open arms for this leg of the tour!! I will miss you all dearly over break but rest and relaxation is important for an awesome European leg!!

tagged: no one

user1 I’m gonna miss the fuzzy live streams 😭

user2 gets some rest Queen!!

user3 I can’t wait for the second leg!! Let’s go Europe🫶🫶

user4 it’s go time to get my Eras outfit

user8 I need ideas!!

user4 me and my boyfriend are going as Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

user9 I’m dressing in a white dress with a small veil that says “fucked in the head” and messed up makeup bc champagne problems is one of my favs

user10 I love it!!

user5 anybody else sad Lewis wasn’t at these last few shows, nor was she at any races or seen near mercades home base

user6 they’ve been together for 6 years, I’m not worried abt them spending some time focused on their jobs without each other

user7 yea and they’re really private so I’m sure they’ll catch up plenty during her break

lewishamilton

liked by mercadesamgf1, user1, user8, and 928,292 others

lewishamilton: not the results we needed but that’s what growing is all about

tagged: no one

comments have been disabled

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussel, mercadesamgf1, user83, and 718,292 others

lewishamilton: that’s P2💪

tagged: no one

mercadesamgf1 that's our driver!!🏆

georgerussell congrats man! bloody good driving today

lewishamilton double point weekend

comments have been limited

Twitter—

yn_ln

liked by user4, user9, ynhq, and 918,918 others

yn_ln: All’s fair in love and poetry, April 4th

tagged: no one

comments have been limited

Twitter pre-album release—

Twitter post-album release—

yn_ln

liked by: user433, user94, user93, and 282,209 others

yn_ln: surprise!! "The Tortured Poets Department: Eros" out now!! This edition includes two new songs, "So High School" and "The Alchemy"

tagged: no one

comments have been disabled

[thatonefanficwriternooneknows]

FoxQuin Week Day 2: Chronic Pain

Good Afternoon/Morning/Evening/Night!

I am BLOWN AWAY by the response to my day 1 fic! Thank you all so much for your lovely tags and enjoyment of my fic, I can't wait to see what you all think of this one!

Again, I did both quote and writing prompt.

Day 2: Chronic Pain/"Unfortunately, General, I would need to be a sentient being for that"

I hope you enjoy :D

--

Fox was convinced that the Kaminiise were full of osik.

They touted their own genius and the complexity of their products and straight up lied when talking about the Clones inability to be hindered by common ailments of the regular humanoid.

What a load of poodoo.

Tell that to the marching vode in his head that were doing their best to march right onto the couch he was currently laying on.

Lying crates of osik.

Hex had been trying to find a solution to the migraines since he replaced Chit as CMO and no cocktail of drugs has been able to even dull the chronic marching of vode. It was unbearable.

But Fox had been going through it long enough, he could power through if he had to, but he didn’t have to right now. Hence his prone position on his ugly but comfortably couch.

Good couch. Friendly couch.

“Wow. You look like shit, Foxy.”

Fox didn’t even twitch the arm thrown over his eyes, just groaned at the familiar voice of the constant pain in his shebs.

“That was crass, even for you, Vos.”

“Meh. I’m a shadow, babe, I can use outer rim curses if I want to.”

Firm hands in soft leatheris gloves carefully moved Fox until his head was laying on wonderfully plush thighs and Fox sighed and pushed into the lap he was now on.

Quinlan’s hands carefully framed Fox’s face and slowly started to heat up, using his Force osik to do his best to ease Fox’s pain.

It was hit or miss whether or not it would work and Fox dearly hoped that this was going to be one of the times it worked.

“I wish you could take a sick day or something like that for the days when the pain is this bad, Foxy. It doesn’t seem right that you just have to push through.”

Fox snorted as the pounding in his head started to subtly subside, enough to be background pain instead of the pain that demanded to be focused on.

“Unfortunately, General, I would need to be a sentient being for that. Did you know we don’t even have work week caps? If the Chancellor wants us to work one hundred twenty hours in a week then one hundred twenty hours we work.”

Quinlan scoffed.

“You and I both know you’re sentient. If only the Senate would get their collective heads out of their shebs maybe we could get your migraines worked out.”

“HA. And the Guard likes to call me a dreamer.”

Quinlan chuckled and carefully started sliding his fingers through Fox’s hair, making delightfully soft soothing circles into his scalp.

The Jedi clearly missed his calling as a masseuse.

“Come to the Temple medbay with me?” Quinlan spoke into his forehead, lips touching skin with every syllable. Fox shivered.

“You think they can find something that Hex couldn’t?”

“Bring Hex too. He can tell Che everything he tried. Maybe she’ll have other options. I hate seeing you like this.”

“Mmm. Next time. I just want to stay here a little longer.”

“Of course, Foxy.”

Quinlan gave him a chaste kiss before continuing his ministrations in Fox’s hair and humming lightly under his breath.

It was a good way to suffer through a migraine.

[a-pastel-edgelord]

Hiii. I saw ur inbox was open so I wanted to throw some brain rot at you?? I saw ur tags for the post u reblogged with Kyotani.... PLEASE GO ON. Great with kids, loves being around them, working with them—but never wants one himself? Would his partner be the same? Would he consider it with the right person? Is he immune to baby fever? SAVE ME FROM THIS TORMENT PLSSS ❤️ tyily

That was a hot fucking minute ago anon, but 🆗 tagging @mintmatcha because my idea was spawned from their text post.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

"You good?"

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?" You look up at Kentarō with a blink. The paper plate you'd been loading with food, is placed onto the end of the buffet table. "Is something wrong?"

The evening has been so nice—as far as you know. It's just a small cook out within the Sendai Frogs group. Tsukishima had surprisingly offered his backyard, and Koganegawa managed to procure a grill from somewhere. Daisho and Mika brought a generous amount of meat while you brought the veggies and rice. Yamaguchi and Yachi are going to arrive a little later with watermelon and booze (as an apology for having to work regular nine to five jobs). Tsukishima's older brother is in attendance as is his girlfriend(?) Saeko—she insists everyone call her by her given name.

There's laughter, music and good food. Everything is as it should be. So why does Kentarō look... anxious?

"Nevermind." He shakes his head as if to clear it. "Eat, go grab a chair."

You nod, picking up your plate and eyeing him as you go to sit. You find an empty spot next to Mika. Daisho just got transferred into the team from the Tamaden Elephants. Apparently he and Kuroo go way back. You can hear Tsukishima complaining about him with Daisho providing enthusiastic support.

You fight to keep a grin off your face and you end up catching Mika's eye. "Tsukishima's favorite pastime is shit talking."

"Oh, I'd call it Suguru's hobby!" You both laugh. "How long have you and Kyotani been together?"

Is this what Kentarō is worried about? Mika isn't the least bit scary. "Since highschool graduation actually. He confessed to me after the ceremony."

"Oh, so you two went to the same school!"

"Nah, I went to Date Tech—I was the manager of the volleyball team. Kentarō and I met through a local gym that had volleyball nights. Then our teams played against one another." You raise a cup in Koganegawa's direction, he promptly drops what he is doing to wave back—spilling water all down his front. Mika laughs again but you just sigh. "He skipped his own graduation ceremony just so he could cheer me on at mine."

"Wow! That's so romantic!" She sighs dreamily. "That'll be a good story for your kids, huh?"

Ah. Of course, you think, they wouldn't know. "Kentarō and I aren't going to have kids."

"Huh?"

You shrug, forcing nonchalance into your expression. "We talked about it and decided we're good as we are. We've gotten quite a bit of grief from our families about it too."

You don't look at Mika, not wanting to be disappointed. You like her, you don't want to give up being her friend. A hand falls on your shoulder. You meet her gaze, it's firm. "It's your business. A child is not a decision to be made lightly."

Relief, cool and sweet, sweeps through your bones. A smile blooms across your features. "My thoughts exactly."

You search for Kentarō, finding him rolling his eyes at Koganegawa's wet shirt. You barely have to stare at him for more than a second before he snaps his gaze over to you. You hold the contact, giving him a gentle wave. He signs to you, all good?

Yes, you sign back, all good.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

could I get an opinion on this? (extremely transandrophobic and intersexist bingo board)

to clarify some of the vaguely iffy ones on here-

trans women often do get more visibility, positive or negative- (this does not correspond to violence rates)

male/female socialization as in people raised male or female have different, though not necessarily bad, perspectives + experiences.

guys/dude is generally gender neutral but if someone's uncomfortable respect that

this has like. 800 notes and most from transmascs that are agreeing with this sadly. the creator of this board is self described tme

I'll go point by point, left to right/top to bottom:

There's nothing wrong with they/them pronouns, or any pronouns honestly. This just comes across as exorsexist (which is on par for these people)

Wow, two points in and already contradictory. Honey, you're the one saying that you can't have a complex gender by shitting on people who are enby

The fact that I engaged once with these people just last night and I had self described TERFs in my comments and reblogs, shitting on me, and calling me a "he/him" and "male rapist" and other fun things says everything I need to know about this issue. I've never once seen a "transmisogynist" (read: transandrophobia poster) reblog from a TERF, and I'm very active in the disk-horse

Sis, you're the one shitting on trans men. These guys are just defending themselves.

You fuckers literally accused me of being a rapist/predator with a "laundry list of fetishes" who "has teen girls tell him about their fetishes", nice try

Ok, this is a complex one. Systemically, misandry (as used to describe cishet males being oppressed) isn't really a thing. Is there going to be individual instances of cishet men getting fucked by the system? Sure. But systemically, cishet men have a lot of advantages that others aren't afforded. That being said, we both know they mean "hatred of any men for any reason" which is bullshit. These people shit on trans men all the time.

Well, they are? They call trans men TME and trans women TMA and never apply it to cis people, thus it's just another sex based binary

We are? Just in different ways.

Refer to point 1 and 2, hypocrite

What's their point? So what's the minimum amount of examples that you need to prove a point?

I don't think any trans mascs say that, and those that would, probably would apologize and make an effort not to call a trans woman dude if she's uncomfortable with it. I do agree, it's not neutral, and hate being called it myself

My sister in christ, you likely use the term "theyfab"

n/a

Well, perisex trans women can't get pregnant, and trans men/mascs can, and have dysphoria around it. Not to mention corrective rape. It's a valid form of oppression that only affects perisex afab trans mascs.

Don't know of any zionist trans mascs, also did fucking TW make this?

Yes, you do, and you are. Good girl!

I've had these women hyperfocus on my kinks and shit on me for it. Never seen a trans dude do the same.

Yeah, well at least trans dudes are willing to fuck trans girls. Can't say the same for you lot (transhet t4t my beloved)

Yeah, we are hyper-fucking-visible. Look at any studies done on "trans people", and it's always trans women. Music wise? Typically all the traction goes to trans girls. Media? Mainly trans girls. Online? Mainly trans girls.

Really gonna act like you aren't taught "how to be a girl/boy" growing up? I know how to fit in with cis men, and easily boymode because of that.

Well, you can. This is Tumblr baby girl, make a post, tag it, and send it off to the world. I do it all the time, and people listen to me.

You girls are trans radfems and TERFs, sorry. Don't like the label? Change.

Isn't this the point you're making in the last box?

Trans men experience a shit load more misogyny growing up than trans women do after coming out. This is just a fact. Even more so in non-western countries (looking at you @that-satireguy my beloved non-western trans peep)

????????

[laswells-ashtray]

Fucking hells mom you're on the Makalan train. The question was bound to happen

Scents, piercings, and drunk tattoo for Nolan and Makarov. 😘

They intrigued me and I'm a sucker for dynamics that make you say "wow, this isn't healthy for all parties involved". Also, apparently my interpretation of them isn't that far off from what other people think so at least one or two folks will get a kick out of it.

Anyway, to figure this out I imagined myself sniffing both of these characters like a bloodhound and then had to put off answering this ask because I couldn't stop laughing.

Nolan smells really fresh, he smells like a fresh load of laundry. Clothes always smell like they're just out of the washing machine. Also minty, type of motherfucker whose mouthwash actually burns you alive and then leaves you breathing mint fumes for like two hours. Possibly controversial, I feel like he'd prefer citrusy types of aftershave. Could see young him with a helix, he could pull it off. Drunken tattoo is silly. Everyone jokes about him playing lapdog so he decides to get the tag of a dog collar but the only example he can think of is Scooby-Doo's. So, he has the tag from Scooby-Doo's collar tattooed just under one of his knees. His artist was smart enough not to let a drunk man get a neck tattoo.

Makarov smells like leather, woody aftershaves. Strong but not invasive. It's stupid to think about but there is an association between men in positions of power and certain aftershave scents, he utilizes preconceived notions and simply adjusts to find a smell that he likes, not just tolerates. His gloves smell faintly of smoke and so does his collar if you get close enough. Piercing-wise, if I was being realistic then I'd probably say I don't think he'd go for any but when have I ever given a shit about realism. Rook and the jewellery is black. Drunken tattoo is a very small outline of a bird behind one of his ears. Everyone thinks it has some deep, mysterious meaning. The deep mysterious meaning is a bottle of vodka he won while gambling and seeing a crow by a window while someone had a tattoo gun in hand.

[buskingalbatross]

presenting my personal favorite five minutes of dan and phil live on stereo.

featuring heartthrob boys cannibalism the short story by daniel howell, and a truly fascinating discussion of the merits of a restaurant first date. [bubblewrap boys - full stereo live on youtube]

🎷🐟transcript below 🐟🎷

P: Dan, you are the winner of Heartthrob!

D: Yes!

P: Because I got one wrong.

D: With my winnings, and my knowledge of who's gonna date who and everything, I am gonna choose to free the boys from the pipe! Be freeee –

P: [laughing] Yeah! Yeeee, yeee –

D: Run, Jim, run! Neil! Frankie, you're the fastest you've gone to the gym. Phil doesn't run –

P: [laughing]

D: – he won't catch you! Oh my god, wait, Jim's cycling away, he's gonna make it – oh no! He fell off! Jim fell off the bike!!!! He broke his leg. Phil's coming –

P: Oh my god.

D: – oh my god, Phil is crawling up the stairs on all fours backwards with his head tilted back –

P: [laughing]

D: No, Jim!! No, he's [noises of cannibalism occurring] oh my god: he ate him whole. They're dead. They're all dead.

P: [laughing]

D: Apart from, um, Russ.

P: Wow.

D: With his saxophone.

P: He just uses the saxophone to suck in all the body parts that are left all over the floor.

...That was crazy, uhm, thanks for that Dan. Do you know what, I think like you said –

D: That was canon, by the way. What?

P: That was canon, that just happened. Going on a date with someone to a restaurant as a first date is a very good way of judging what kind of person they are. Cause there's lots of things –

D: [moan of realization that Phil is right] Yes!

P: First of all,

D: [continuing to have a realization that Phil is right] Augh!

P: –what food do they eat, how do they talk to the waiter, do they offer to split the bill or are they awkward about that or is it weird? And –

D: [continues to make noises of realization that Phil is so right] Oh my god you're so right.

P: Yeah, there's loads of things you can look for.

D: Oh my god, I never thought about that. It's like a final test!

P: It is!

D: God, there's so many social dynamics in a restaurant date, jesus.

P: Yeah, there are.

D: Wow, you really get to know someone, I mean, judging the food that they order, is huge. I mean that is a pretty instant, like, is this person a two-time thing or a twenty-year thing? Instantly.

P: Yeah.

D: Like, firstly, are they gonna be like: 'Are we getting a starter?' Like, if you're not getting a starter, get out. That, that's it for me, firstly.

P: You need the starter.

D: If you're just here to order like a lean mean main and then get out, then you don't enjoy life. I'm not interested in that. What do you order, how nice are you, how confident are you, what are your choices? Are you good at making small talk? I say all of this knowing that I'm terrible at all of those things, because I'm incredibly awkward and indecisive. But it would be nice to watch someone not do everything that I am bad at.

P: For sure. I went to dinner with someone – it wasn't a date it was more just like a dinner? They weren't a friend either, it was just a person I went to dinner with. Anyway.

D: [laughing] What the fuck?! W-Why did you go to dinner with this person?

P: I'm not gonna give too many information, details..

D: Okay, okay.

P: Because I'm about to shade them slightly.

D: Spill it, Lester.

P: Right.

D: I bet they're listening.

P: They're not.

D: I will out them. No okay here we go.

P: No, you can't.

D: Do I know this? Okay, we'll see.

P: They are 100% not listening.

D: We'll see. I'll tag them. [laughing]

P: No... [trying to start telling the story] I ordered my...

D: [laughing]

P: Dan! Stop making me laugh.

D: [laughing] God.

P: Listen.

[small pause]

D: [laughing] Listen?!

P: [laughing]

[both sighing]

D: [laughing] Go on.

P: I ordered my food at the restaurant, with this guy, and –

D: No shit, yeah, what else do you do at a restaurant.

P: And he was like 'No, you should totally order the sea bass, because it's amazing and you should really get the sea bass.'

D: 'mmkay..

P: And I was like 'No, I don't really fancy the sea bass, I think I'm gonna get this other thing.' So I ordered it.

D: Yeah. Fair play.

P: Fair play. I don't remember what it was. Anyway, I went to the toilet, I came back and they were delivering the food. And the guy had gone to the waiter and changed my order to the sea bass.

D: What the fuck.

P: Yeah. And it's just like –

D: Are you joking?

P: No. [sounds of pen clicking?] And it was really weird. It was like, why would you do that? He said, 'Oh it's just so nice, and I got it for two so you could try it.'

D: [horrified] Noooo.

P: But in my head I was just like, that is like twenty-seven weird flags of a person. I'm not even trying to date this person.

D: That is – That is the patriarchy right there. That is everything –wow. Yes.

P: It was really weird. Anyway, yeah that's why I was thinking it's a good thing for a first date, because you can pick up on lots of potentially weird stuff.

D: Oh my god, Phil, who was this person?

P: I'm not saying who it was.

D: Text it to me. Text me the name and I'll react.

P: I might have even –

D: I won't expose you. Text me the name. Text me the name right now.

P: No, oh my god. I might have even changed the word 'sea bass' to a different food because I didn't want you to say who it was. Um...

D: I promise I won't expose you, probably.

P: Oh my god.

D: [evil hehehe-ing]

[text message whoosh]

D: oOOOOOHH. Yeah. Okay. Yeah that guy was good.

P: You remember it! I told you about that.

D: [laughing] Anyway. Wow.

P: Anyway. [laughing]

D: PSYCHOPATH. WHAT. OH MY GOD. NEVER DO THAT. Anyway.

P: Stop, Dan.

D: Okay, fine.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Morning after

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 10

Prompt: First time

Rated: E

CW: Alcohol; Dirty talk; Sexually explicit language; Nudity; One slight mention of BDSM

Tags: Established relationship; Tongue fucking (referenced); Service mouth Steve Harrington; ADHD disaster Eddie Munson; Idiots in love

Eddie wakes to sunlight tickling his nose, limbs heavy with the warm weight of sleep - the kind induced by alcohol and exhaustion.

Memories of last night's gig trickle into his mind. The packed location. Strobing lights, bodies moving to their music. Steve beaming up at him from the front row, deliciously disheveled, eyes sparkling with adoration.

It's funny. A year ago, he was hiding from an angry mob in a dilapidated boat house. Now, one interdimensional war, a near-death experience, and a lot of hush money later, not only is Corroded Coffin finally taking off. He also got himself a hot sweetheart of a boyfriend who loves tagging along to his shows and gets ridiculously turned on by his stage performance. Life is finally looking good for Eddie Munson. 

Until he turns and finds himself at the receiving end of a death glare that would even have Vecna quake in his non-existent boots. 

Eddie yelps and tries to jump to his feet, but last night's leather pants are bunched around his ankles for some reason, so he ends up face-first on the carpet, naked ass exposed to the cool morning air. 

"Ow, son of a- Stevie?" he mutters. "Everything okay?" 

Steve is still in the chair next to the bed. He's still glaring. 

"Oh, wow," he says while Eddie scrambles to his knees and tries to inconspicuously shrug out of the pants. Why do these motherfuckers have to be so tight? "You actually need to ask after what you did?" 

Eddie blinks. His nose is stinging from where it hit the carpet. 

Steve huffs and snaps his magazine shut. Eddie has a sneaking suspicion he picked it up purely for dramatic effect. 

"So you don't even remember, huh?" 

"I, erm …" Eddie says, desperately rifling through his brain for a shred of a clue. "I'm sorry, I don't-"

Steve throws the magazine. It hits the carpet with a less-than-impressive flop but it's the gesture that counts, Eddie guesses. 

"I can't believe you," Steve seethes. The chair topples as he jumps up.

"Wait, wait, wait," Eddie holds out one imploring hand. Steve stops halfway to the door and regards him with a wary look. "Lemme just …" 

He screws his eyes shut, wills himself to pull images from the blur that is his memory. 

Getting crushed in a full-body hug the moment they got off stage, Steve's arms and warmth and scent all around him. 

Celebrating the successful gig, the lingering touches and looks and smiles.

Loading the equipment into the cars, saying goodnight to the guys. 

Getting slammed against the side of the van, Steve's hands under his shirt, against the curve of his ass. Steve's tongue licking over his lips, warm and wet and eager. 

"Woah, big boy. Maybe ask before you shove that tongue down my throat?" 

Steve's smug smile as he leaned closer, voice husky and low. 

"Let's get you home… and I'll shove it somewhere else." 

Throwing himself into the car, because hoooly shit! They've tried a lot of stuff in the months they've been together, all of it great, all of it mind-blowing in fact. Eddie’s had plenty of opportunity to witness that skilled tongue at work, but this? This was gonna be a first.

He remembers nearly vibrating out of his own skin on the way home, remembers grinning like a maniac as they pulled into the driveway, Steve's hand sliding up his thigh. 

Remembers tumbling into the bedroom in a flurry of limbs and moans and kisses, toppling onto the bed, hands tearing at clothes, teeth scraping over skin …

… only then, it gets decidedly more fuzzy. 

"Um, I-" he mutters. "We were … You were gonna … and I-" 

"You fell asleep, you fucking asshat!" Steve blurts. His face is doing that thing where he loses control of his bottom lip and it gets all pouty and quivery. An adorable, flustered blush is creeping out of his shirt collar and up his jaw. "You fucking fell asleep while I was about to- Jesus Christ, I don't believe this. This has never- why are you laughing?" 

"Baby," Eddie wheezes, and by some miracle manages to stagger to his feet and shuck off his pants. "Stevie. Darling. Light of my life. You realize that this is our first fight?" 

Steve scowls at him. "Maybe. So?" 

Eddie can't help it, he breaks into laughter - full-blown, body-wrecking guffaws. "And it's because you didn't get to eat me out? Oh my God, I can't- only you, sweetheart!" 

"Fuck off," Steve grouses, but he doesn’t pull away when Eddie reaches for his hands, and the corners of his mouth are twitching the tiniest bit. The blush has reached his cheekbones. "Do you have any- I was down there, all ready to go and you started snoring! Nobody has ever fucking fallen asleep on me!" 

He's looking positively mortified now, one hand freeing itself from Eddie’s grip to run through his hair, eyes wide and confused - like a scolded puppy that doesn't understand what it did wrong. 

"Aw, honey," Eddie coos, cradles Steve's face in one hand, slots their bodies closer. He's still very much naked from the waist down and he can pinpoint the exact moment this dawns on Steve. The way he licks his lips. "I'm sorry. That gig was a lot, and I guess I just … crashed? You just make me feel so warm and safe and cared for." 

Steve hums reluctantly, but his chest swells with the praise and he doesn't protest when Eddie slots himself into his arms, starts to slowly undo his belt buckle. 

"How about you take revenge on me now? We've got all day, so … you can go for however long you want. I won't complain, and if I do … you know where we keep the gag, huh?" 

Steve's pupils blow wide.

The rest of the morning passes in a haze, but sleep has nothing to do with it. 

All my holiday drabbles

[smuttysabina]

Chaelisa "Chella Action

(Lisa x Rose, 800 words) Lisa and Rose have fun at Coachella Tags: Lesbian action, Dialogue, Fisting, brief vomiting, cumplay, harsh language

"Really Lisa?"

"What, Rose?"

"This is the best you could find?"

"Hey, I don't want to hear any complaints, this is the best one I could get that was... unspoiled."

"Where did you even find it anyways?"

"Passed out next to the main stage, I think she missed him since he was unconscious."

"Well judging by the screaming Jennie is still going at it."

"Mhmm, so be happy we don't get her sloppy seconds for once, this one is fresh!"

"I'm surprised you didn't just grab some of her leftovers, considering what a perverted whore you are, you should like cleaning up after your betters."

"Wow fuck you too bitch, at least I'm not a sadistic... oh, shut up, shut up, he's waking up! Ahem- Hello there, how are you feeling, good? Oh don't bother getting up silly, we'll be joining you down there soon enough."

"Ugh, do we really have to fuck him in the dirt?"

"Its COACHELLA, everything is covered in dirt!"

"Well some of us, dislike rutting on the ground like animals!"

"Okay, then go find a fucking clean mattress then, I'll be busy enjoying myself."

"FINE. But I get to go first."

"Um, no. I don't want you to ruin him like you do with all of your... slaves. The last one was literally jizzing blood!"

"Oh please, you were just on your period Lisa, and anyways I don't want your filthy cunt juices smeared all over my... dildo."

"Heh, you were going to say 'slave' weren't you?"

"Its called wordplay whore, maybe you should figure it out before writing another song."

"....Ouch"

"..."

"..."

"Okay, I'm sorry, that was a little too harsh."

"It's fine, that just means I get to go first. God you are so easy to manipulate, its a wonder you manage to domme anyone at all..."

"Hey!"

"Too late! Hello again my darling little pet, ready to make my insides all juicy? Don't mind Rose there, she's just mad about going last! So make sure to fuck me good and proper, if you cum before I do, I'll make sure you get it up again..."

"..."

"What's wrong Rose, still mad that you're going to be cleaning up after me again? You can just stand there and watch as I ride- wait Rose. What are you doing back there with your hand? Wait, no. Get lube you idiot! Get lube! LUBE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!"

"Oh shut up you slut, I know you love it rough. This is payback for earlier, whore"

"Oh fuck... Rose I can feel your fist in my stomach... oh god I'm gonna! Blooooargh!"

"That's disgusting! Could you not puke everywhere like a cheap whore? You really do deserve to get fucked on the ground you filthy animal."

"Hah- I- hah, I don't want to hear that from the fucking bitch who just shoved her arm up my ass!"

"Lisa, you came like twice from this, don't deny you're not enjoying this."

"Urrrgh, I'm going to force feed you so much cum after this you bitch..."

"I'd love to see you try, by the time I'm done with you I doubt your loose holes will be able to hold anything in them at all!"

"Ghurk Ghurk Ghurk GHUAH! Is that all you've got Rose, I've fucked virgins who could plow me harder than that!"

"...Um Lisa."

"Huh...? What?"

"Look down."

"...Oh, he passed out again."

"...Did he finish?"

"Hmm.... yup I can feel his load in there! I guess he came so hard he blacked out!"

"Pfffft, you really do suck at choosing fuck meat!"

"Yeah yeah I don't want to hear it! Also uh, Rose?"

"Yes Lisa?"

"Want to keep fisting me?

"Sigh, fine. But only if you eat me out afterwards."

"Deal! And you can degrade me all you want and shit while I'm doing it."

"You do know how to push my buttons don't you?"

"Oh yeah, and afterwards, want to try and find some more pets? Surely Jennie can't fuck her way through all of them!"

"With Jisoo helping her out? Seriously?"

"Well I guess we can be on cleanup duty again..."

"Are you fine with sloppy seconds?"

"Are you really asking me that?"

"Fine, as long as you clean them off first for me..."

"Rose dear, I always do. Now shouldn't you be, um?"

"Oh right! Only if you ask nicely though, Lisa."

"I hate you."

"That works!"

"OH FUCK! HARDER ROSE HARDER!"

[nomizombie]

fanboy!König x rockstar!Reader (Part III) 🎸🎤🎶

[SFW/Fluff/Wholesome] ; basically a date with könig, loads of awkward moments, gender neutral, no usage of yn, written in 2nd person, please excuse my non proof read work

[A/N] ; 2nd poll winner!! Honestly had a lot of ideas for this part but i think könig would start off slow with a little cafe session and then of course, as per the AU he must be super into the rock scene!!, hes totally bringing reader to some underground rock concert >:)

Part I . Part II . Part III

(ill add the links later, for now just find my fanboy!könig tag and u shud be good)

You wake up to the sound of your phone vibrating and the familiar tune of your ringtone. Your favourite song. It’s a catchy tune that you heard a few years ago and never seemed to get out of your head.

Rolling over in bed, you pick it up lazily, holding it to your ear as you force out a groggy ‘good morning’. You almost cringe at how raspy it comes out.

Expecting the sound of your manager’s nagging, your eyes filled with shock as his voice came through; quiet and just a little flustered.

“Your voice is deep… in the morning.” He smiles across the line.

“Sorry..? König?!” It was like a bucket of ice cold water was just poured on you. You sit up in bed instantly and glance at the ticking clock on your wall.

10:36AM

You were late to meet König.

“Oh shit-shit-shit-shit!” Your feet immediately scramble off your mattress, phone pressed between your shoulder and head as you rushed to brush your teeth.

“Its okay I dont mind. Maybe i shouldve picked the evening instead.” He said, “I know you had a late show last night.”

You responded back, muffled, which released a slew of laughter on the other end.

“Perhaps I should hang up? You sound a little busy.” He snickered.

You furiously refused through your toothpaste filled teeth.

“Ill be there soon!” You said as your gurgled.

By the time you had pulled your shoes on, it was already 10:47 AM. Guilt clouded your mind as you recalled that he initially set the time for ten in the morning. You had kept him waiting for over half an hour.

Rushing out the door, you let out another string of apologies, panting because of course, your cardio sucks.

By the time you reached the cafe, you were a sweaty heaving mess. Not the best way to start your first date. Was it even a date? The two of you are just friends. It was a friend… date. König sat in the corner, fittingly, staring at his phone as he softly drummed his fingers on the arm rests of his chair. He noticed you immediately, eyes crinkling as he motioned for you to sit across of him.

“Hello.” he smiled.

He wore a simple white shirt with some band name you had never heard of. I guess he’s into underground music? Over that was a puffy black zip up hoodie. His jeans were a sleek navy blue and he wore a leather satchel, the same one he brought to your first fan signing. Wow, it’s like he’s never even heard of colour.

“Hi.” You waved, grinning from ear to ear as you made your way over to him.

As you plopped your butt down on the leather seats, he pushed a cup of coffee towards you.

“You probably need it. You must be tired.”

Grabbing it, you thanked him before downing the whole cup in one go. Once you put the cup down, your eyes drifted back to him and his black face mask.

“No balaclava today?” You asked curiously, licking at the froth around your lips. He stared at you, eyes flicking down to your mouth before lifting back up. This was the first time you had seen his hair. It was fluffy, wavy, and a deep auburn shade.

“The barista would’ve thought I was trying to rob them.” His eyes crinkled.

You giggled thinking about it. But then, eyes focused back on his hair and the way it bounced when he laughed. You really really wanted to thread your fingers through it. It would be so soft and fluffy wouldn’t it?

König was no fool. He could see the way your eyes continuously kept going back to his head. As time passed and the two of you kept chatting, you were starting to get more and more obvious about it.

Eventually he just bit the bullet and asked you.

“Is there something wrong… with my hair?” He said, a confused but nervous look in his eyes.

Your eyes immediately widened and whatever you were about to say was stuck in your throat.

You laughed.

“No, no! Its just… It looks so soft.” A gentle smile appeared on your face.

König’s eyebrows rose a little before he averted his gaze.

“You can try… touching it.” His voice came out meek.

Oh god did he really just say that?

“Touching it?” You said, surprised and a little happy that he was starting to come out of his shell. However, while he may have been able to pick up on your incessant staring, the same cant be said for your tone of voice.

“Oh but, only if you want to, of course. Just a suggestion. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Forget that I asked.”

“No! I want to.” You adamantly nodded your head.

His eyes widened and he pursed his lips. He slowly leaned over, pushing his head towards you.

“Okay… here goes nothing.”

You giggled before placing your palm on his scalp, gently running your fingers through the thick locks.

“Its softer than I imagined.” You grinned.

His ears turned a light shade of red.

“Thank… you..” He said quietly.

“Its like petting my dog back home.”

“You have a dog?” His ears perked up.

“Wow, my biggest fan doesn’t know I have a dog? Tsk, tsk, tsk.” You teased, reviling in the embarrassed expression that appeared on König’s face.

“Oh I- I just-“ he stammered. How could he not know! What a horrible fan he was!

You laughed, calming his anxiety.

“Well, now you know.”

He smiled awkwardly back, making a mental note to add to your wikipedia page for the twenty seventh time and make an edit to the trivia section. But, you didnt have to know that.

“How about you? Have any pets?”

He looked to the side, thought for a moment before responding.

“I had a goldfish.. im not sure if that counts…”

You laughed again.

“Well? What was its name?”

“I called it Frankie, because I had a friend named that.”

“Oh really? Should i name my goldfish König then?” You snickered.

“I wouldn’t mind it..” he said, oblivious to your teasing.

You snicked once more. He was really fun to be around? This date was going so well… Date? This was a date? No way this was just a friendly hangout between two friends who are super friendly! This cant be a date no, no, no-

“Are you okay?” He interrupted your train of thought, quickly pulling you back down to reality.

“Oh- um.” You reddened, “i was just thinking… this isnt a date is it?”

He immediately turned a bright shade of red as well. Stuttering, he replied as calmly as he could. His leg shook even harder underneath the table, rhythmically banging against the underside and shaking your cup.

“Do you want it to be?” He couldnt bare to look at your reaction so he turned his head downwards, nervously fidgeting with his thumbs. When had he gotten so bold? What was he saying!? He was moving too fast. He was going to mess this up and-

“Yeah.” You smiled, in that charming upside down way where your eyes did the work while your mouth curved downwards.

He blushed even further, ears turning red as a bead of sweat dripped down his forehead. Oh for god sake, the two of you were in an air conditioned building.

He grinned wildly under his mask. Silence shrouded the two of you until he decided to pipe up again.

“You should come with me.”

“Come with you?”

“To a concert. Today. Now.”

You raised your eyebrows curiously. You weren’t aware of any concerts happening this week.

“Your idea of a date?”

He hummed in response, eliciting a grin from you.

“Let’s go.”

ty for reading!! this post took a while since i was procrastinating writing it 😭

[spectrechosts]

Dressed Up To The Eyes - Chapter 5

Chillin' with the killbot girlfriend.

Full Series

"Not sure about this."

Medusa grumbled and buried her face in Jester's neck as she scrolled through cybernetics catalogues on her tablet.

"C'mon, we're just looking! You don't like your body, lets see what our options are."

Jester reached her hand back and gently drummed on the side of Medusa's helmet with her fingers. It usually calmed her down, she liked to think of it as the Medusa version of stroking her hair.

"Options are expensive."

"Lookin's cheap. Do you want to be a government killbot for the rest of your life?"

Medusa squeezed her tighter.

"No."

"So make a wishlist with me! We can figure out how to make it work later."

"Setting up for disappointment."

"You're disappointed now."

Medusa made a tone that was probably meant to be a whiny grumble.

"Show me."

"Yessss. Okay, what are we looking for here?"

"Better voicebox. Human-standard jaw replacement." Medusa said, peeking over her shoulder.

"Okay, wh-"

"Terran type 3 connector."

"Okay." Jester and Medusa watched as the screen filled with compatible cybernetics, pictures accompanied with star ratings and prices in the tens of thousands of credits. "I mean, that's not that bad." Jester said, trying to calculate how long it would take her to save up enough for just this one part.

"Pretty bad."

"Yeah, but there's like, there's orgs that help with this shit. Insurance that covers it. It's not impossible."

"Search full body chassis. Terran type 6 neck connector."

Jester punched in the search, and another page of results populated the screen.

She whistled.

"That's, I mean, we could afford that eventually" She said.

"Or could afford a house eventually."

"It's- Any number of things could happen. Maybe the government will be like 'Hey, please never tell anybody we did techno-necromancy on you. Here's a sweet bod.' and you can just get whatever you want on their dime."

"Unlikely. Cheaper and safer to decommission. Get used to killbot girlfriend."

"It's not about what I can or cannot get used to." Jester said. "I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin."

"Have very little skin." Said Medusa, deadpan.

"Dusa."

She bumped her forehead against Jester.

"Can cope. Had years to come to terms with it."

"But you shouldn't have to cope!" Jester whined. "You should be happyyyy."

"Am happy enough." Another gentle headbutt. "Stop fussing."

"Ugggh."

Medusa rolled her eyes and reached for the tablet, typing in a serial number from memory.

"Hypothetically. Want this one "

Jester whistled again as the page loaded, though this time not just at the price tag.

"Wow, look at the tits on you." She said.

"Not why."

"Still." Jester said, scrolling through the specs. "Dusa this would make you seven feet tall. It can lift 1,500 kilos? Skin can withstand small arms fire, chassis can withstand anti-tank weaponry?"

"Not everything about killbot body is terrible. Feel very strong. Like how intimidated people are by me. Want to maintain."

"What the fuck. Where did you even find this? Is this military hardware or just the world's most expensive amazon fetish gear?"

"Think both."

[m0nost4tic]

"hey mono, are you ever gonna finish or work on your long-term projects that you started months ag-" no. ... maybe someday. not today tho

anyway. here's a short clip for a magluck scene idea. it's set in a modern au my friends and i have been discussing. there are small references to au-specific stuff, so heads up for that

idrk how people tag fanfic works on this site so uhh..

913 words (wow just under a thousand, go me), ~5,200 characters, magna having thoughts on dumbfuck luck voltia, read post tags for more input ig

ps, because of my tendency to crank out short works but never finish anything long-term quickly, i've been thinking of doing a like.. magluck oneshot book for ao3. lmk if that's something anyone wants to see from me🙏🙏

continue reading for gay fic --

Luck's head swayed to the side, larimar eyes glimmering with something more beneath them, wild golden locks obscuring parts of his face. He let his knees inch away from his chest and loosely unfold the perfect cocoon he was wrapped in, elbows and forearms resting against his legs, hands playing with the white drawstrings of his baggy teal hoodie.

He curled the snowy thread around his finger, flipped it over, pulled it up and down, methodically twisted it - he ran his hand through a million-and-one different motions all within seconds. The air grew heavy with his quietness, a stark, uncomfortable contrast to the strings of words and teases that usually slipped nonstop from the live wire.

To the other, the silence was nothing short of unbearable and nigh deafening. But he waited. He waited, and watched as Luck's lips scrunched to the side - the rare indicator of him biting the inside of his cheek, deep in thought or consideration. An infrequent habit Luck had formed back when words were all too much, all too-consuming and demanding; somedays, it still felt that way.

Then, after what felt like hours but couldn't have been longer than a minute, it came. A quiet, hesitant word, a knife that cut through the thickened space between them;

"Why?"

And, well, that was a loaded question.

It was one word. Simple, short, and plain--except nothing really, truthfully was simple or plain with Luck. It just liked to appear that way on the surface; a wolf dressed in sheep's clothing. Presented problems and looming shadows hidden behind tied ribbons and drawn curtains - a thousand spiraling thoughts dismissed with the same old intricate smile.

But behind it came all the possibilities. All the individual branches of why, all muddled by past experience or an assumption of what was inevitably to happen. And Magna had some solid guesses for most of them.

Why don't you hate me? Why do you keep staying? Why haven't you left already? Why are you here? Why haven't you given up on me? Why aren't you like everybody else?

If there were ever a time and a place for it, Magna would fire back some of his own - why do you always think I'm going to leave your ass? Why is it like you can't believe I give a shit about you? Why do you always act like I'm going to disappear the second you take your eyes off me?

Though if there was one, it certainly wasn't now. Not when Luck was hunched up like this, curled in as if he had to hold himself together by force, a thread dangerously close to snapping; not when Magna was sitting quietly on the end of his bed, hands stationary and sunglasses idly placed upon the bedpost; not when the world was abandoned outside the boarded window, friends and adventures temporarily forgotten to dwell in the pit of a barren self-perceived internal wasteland.

So, instead, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, shoulders rising and falling to expel the weight of the situation from him. He let the words of what to say bubble up in his chest, head desperately reeling to find the right ones. Damn you, he'd curse in his head.

Honestly, yeah, damn Luck. Damn him and his ability to make Magna think of all these things, to make his world more than just a stage play-by-play that he wasn't even the protagonist of. Damn Luck and the way he gave everything he did and said some kind of meaning; gave his life a meaning beyond the repetitive simplicity of school, baseball, video games, and friends. Damn Luck and his addictive smiles that lit up a room, that made Magna's own chest overfill with puddy-like euphoria, that made Magna crave the sound of his laughter and the sight of his joy more than anything else. Damn Luck for making him want to be something more than what he simply was born as, to be something to Luck, like a backboard one could lean on.

Damn Luck for making him a better man. Completely fuck that guy, really.

But, as much as he loathed to admit, he'd go through this routine. Again, and again, and again; the disc tirelessly on loop, never-ending repetition that, unlike all else, unlike every other boring monotonous humdrum aspect of the day or week, never seemed to grow dull. Maybe that was Luck's fault. Maybe there were scratches on the CD, or maybe there was a malfunction on the player--but it was their own special tune, expertly crafted by whatever this hell of a life had in store.

He'd commit to this, for however many times Luck needed him; needed the gentle (or not-so-gentle) reminder that he was loved, cared for, worried about, whatever else. Even if his own brain refused to believe it, partly refused to even dare to let himself have it, Magna wasn't about to back down and let him win this one. He'd done enough of letting things go unseen, unspoken, and left stowed beneath poorly painted-over cracks when they were kids. And now he'd spend a lifetime trying to unravel all of this mess; trying to understand his problems, rather than demand them to be fixed. If that meant soggy shoulders, empty pudding containers, and conveniently misplaced jackets, then Magna could cope with that.

Because that's what you do for someone you love, no matter how big a pain in the ass they are.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Little Earthquakes - Chapter One.

Besties! I was thrilled with the response to the prologue, thank you all so much! :) So, now the story starts properly. Sit back and get comfy!

Previous chapters - Prologue

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,972

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Minors DNI!

Immediately, her mouth dropped open. “Oh my flippin’ god! Hello!” There he was, the cute lad she’d been in the same class as at school. Except now he was even bloody cuter than he’d been at fifteen. God, those cheekbones were virtually criminal. And his eyes, wow! Had they always been that beautiful a shade of green, and she’d simply never noticed? “I thought I recognised your name when I was looking at your work, but I couldn’t place how, and where from, and I’m babbling, and oh my god, you’re Kelsey Chapman! I remember you, too!” 

She then turned to take in Chris, her mouth falling open yet again. “Chris Lawrence! Stop it, it’s a bloody Fulham Green Academy reunion!”  

“How are you, Holly? All good, ay?” he spoke, side eyeing Nathan and beaming, watching how he stood scratching the back of his neck. He always did it when he felt uncomfortable, usually when he couldn’t hide in his hair, being that his cascade of waist-length brown locks were all tied back. So, Holly still had the same effect, it seemed.  

“Yes, yes I’m good, thanks! It’s so nice to see you all,” she replied brightly as Nathan arrived with her.  

“Ready?” he asked, gesturing towards his station. 

She scrunched her nose a little. “Crapping myself to be honest! Right, where am I kotching?”  

“On the table. Lie back and get comfy, unless you’d rather sit up. Either way, I just need you to place your foot flat and bend your knee so I can press the line drawing on, check it flows okay and make sure you’re happy with it.”  

She’d emailed a few ideas to him, speaking the magic words that any tattoo artist liked to hear, that she trusted his judgement over what he came up with. Her only guide was that she wanted all the flowers to look like they were climbing up from her foot to her mid-calf.  

Since he specialised at realism, each flower would look just as she’d requested, like it had been painted on. The line drawing was a guide for him to work to only, so he could then freehand them into the allotted space. Once pressed into place, Holly took a look and confirmed she was happy, beginning to swallow hard. 

“Just take a few deep breaths, you’ll be fine,” he assured her. “It hurts, but not half as badly as some people make out.”  

“Says the man who nearly cried when I tattooed his ribs,” Kelsey called from her station, poking her tongue between her teeth. 

“Shit off,” he mumbled, looking back at Holly a little sheepishly. “Made my eyes water a bit, but any chance her over there has to make me look like a twat and she takes it.”  

“Love you!” her over there chirped, loading the needle with more ink. All Kelsey based disturbances aside and he began, doing a small section to the side of her foot and pausing. “All good?” 

Oh, no. It felt like somebody was dragging a hot knife through her flesh, but she nodded and smiled all the same. “Fine, yeah. I’m good.” He knew she wasn’t, but he was too nice to call her out on it.  

“So, you’re Holly Jenkins now?” he asked casually, remembering her name in the emails they’d exchanged. Of course, she’d be married. Women as beautiful as her didn’t remain single. “How long have you been married for?” 

“I was married for ten years, but we divorced last year. I haven’t gotten around to changing my name back as yet,” she spoke, resting her arm beneath her head.  

“Oh, sorry,” he replied, looking away briefly, watching her mouth twitch slightly. 

“Don’t be, I’m happy about it. I don’t think we were as well-suited as I once thought, so it was for the best, really.” 

“Hm, yeah,” he breathed, circling the top of the first petal, noticing her foot tense a little. To be expected. Foot tattoos weren’t the best. “I understand that. My wife and I separated three months ago after I reached the same conclusion. Proper shit, but that’s life, ain’t it?” 

“It is, and I’m sorry too, that you’re going through the same thing,” she offered, wincing slightly. “I can give you the number of a good divorce lawyer?” 

He laughed, a small burst of air through his nose. He could certainly do with one of those, to be fair. “Appreciated.” Continuing, he noticed she remained tense, pausing, patting her ankle softly with his black gloved hand. “Relax, ‘kay? Hurts more when you’re tense.”  

“I’ll try. Sorry, I probably look like a right knob to someone as heavily tattooed as you, y’know,” she confessed, Nathan beginning again. 

“Don’t mean I’m immune to pain, and it does hurt, like I said. Trust me, though, you don’t look like a knob. Had a girl in here two weeks ago who literally screamed like she was being murdered. Proper put me off, I'm telling you.”  

It reassured her a little, that her wincing and tensing was definitely at a lower level where reactions were concerned. He remained silent for a little time longer, Holly looking all around the studio, taking it in. It was a relaxed vibe, very dark academia in style with its black walls, dark wooden floors and counters, an abundance of artwork, plants dotted around everywhere and Edison lightbulbs suspended above each of the three stations.  

What caught her eye the most though, well, it was the man tattooing her. Back at school, it had always surprised her, just how lovely she thought he was, so cute with his shoulder length hair and big, green eyes. Even though it was all tied back in a half pulled through messy man bun at the nape of his neck, she wagered it was a lot longer now, but the bottle green eyes were still just as beautiful. Even more so going by her reaction at first seeing him, in fact, his eyelashes also impossibly long and inky. And bloody hell, the pout on the man. Those lips? One hundred percent kissable.  

“What are you doing for work these days, then?” he asked after a further few minutes of silence, loading the needle with dark red ink for the next flower.  

“I’m an illustrator,” she began, noticing that the pain was getting a little less. Well, either that or she was becoming more used to the hot scratches goring at her skin, one of the two. “I mainly do adult colouring and children’s books, but I also contribute for other literature and cover art as well. I just accepted a role doing the digital art for a woman’s E-Magazine, too, which has been great so far.”  

“Yeah? That’s proper sick,” he enthused, pausing to smile up at her. Oh, that smile. It lit up his entire face. “You were always really talented. Those little cartoon guys you used to do, I loved them. That unicorn dude, he was ace.” 

She could barely believe he remembered them after so long, those pictures she’d submitted on her GCSE display. “As if you remember him! Sparky the unicorn.” 

“Sparky, yeah, yeah. That was him.” In truth, he remembered exactly what the cartoon character of her creation had been called, but he didn’t want to look like a weirdo by remembering such an innocuous detail after so many years. Especially not after her surprise that he’d remembered it at all.  

“So, how long have you been tattooing for?” she then asked. 

“Right out of uni, more or less.” 

“Yeah? Wow, long time, then. Did you end up going to Loughborough like you wanted to?” 

Oh, so she’d remembered something innocuous herself too, then. “I did, yeah, yeah.”  

“I remember you telling me. Well, you wrote it down.” 

She began to chuckle, her soft giggle making his stomach tingle pleasantly, even more so when it loudened at watching him pause and close his eyes tightly for a few moments, laughing softly though his nose. “The legit shame of it.”  

“Oh, come on! You weren’t that bad!” she cried, laughing more the further his cheeks pinked. Damn, he was so cute. 

“Weren’t that bad? Holly, I couldn’t pissing speak!” He paused there, giving her a few seconds to compose her giggles. She couldn’t. Her beautiful laughter only spurred his further, both sitting there in soft fits at the memory of his fifteen-year-old self, so stoned he was rendered mute.  

“Or walk by the end of the night either,” Kelsey offered from across the shop. “Had to give him a fireman’s lift to the taxi!” 

Oh, the shame. “You needn’t bloody chip in over there, Chapman,” he snorted. “I can do a good enough job mortifying myself, by myself, thanks.”  

“Sharing is caring!” she beamed, Nathan muttering as he continued and moved onto the next flower.  

“How you holding up?” 

“Fine, getting used to it,” she confirmed, watching him smile. 

“Trust me, it won’t be your last. You get bitten by the tattoo bug. Seldom anybody who’s ever had them stops at just one.” 

“Which was your most recent? Can I see?” she inquired.  

“Hmm, only if I took my jeans off,” he confessed.  

“You little tease,” she joked, winking. “Where is it? Anywhere naughty?” 

Was she... no. No, no. She wasn’t flirting with him. Why the hell would she? He knew he was reasonably attractive. Hell, he’d gone from zero to sex in five minutes with someone just thirty minutes before, but seriously. Holly Madden, or Jenkins as she now was, flirting with him? No.  

“It’s on my lower hip,” he confirmed, “cover up of the ex’s name.” Thanks to Kelsey, where Lisa’s name had once lay was now covered by an old school style black panther crawling its way up to his hipbone, a definite improvement now his wife no longer had any prominence in his life.  

“Do you do any of your own tattoos?” she asked out of curiosity, Nathan loading more violet onto the needle. 

“Have done in the past. I did my feet, but I’m not that great at tattooing myself. I do most of my own piercings, though. Save a couple.” 

“How many do you have?” 

He thought for a moment, counting. “Twenty-one. Used to be twenty-three, but I took my eyebrow ones out.”  

“And where are they all?”  

“Eight in my left ear, six in my right, one nostril, lip, two in my tongue, both nipples and one in my dick.”  

Immediately, she gasped. “Crapping hell! I bet that bloody hurt!” 

It would be fair to say he’d nearly gone through the roof. “Yep, a solid eight out of ten on the pain scale.” 

“Why on earth would you do something like that? And have two in your tongue? I bet that was painful, too!” she cried, shaking her head in amazement. 

“Same answer for both,” he smirked. “It’s purely a sex thing.” 

“Can I see them?” she asked, suddenly kicking herself as her stomach plummeted, her cheeks colouring. “The tongue ones, I hasten to add!” Oh, the depth of her cringe. Shit.  

He laughed softly, poking his tongue out and giving it a very rapid wiggle, the two black studs tapping against his teeth.  

Her eyes rounded, making an impressed little hum in the back of her throat. “Bloody hell. A man who can move his tongue that rapidly doesn’t really need any further enhancements, if you ask me.” 

“I know, but I like to show off,” he smiled, winking. Oh, oh yes. He could trust it. They’d definitely fallen into a little playful flirting. “What about you?” 

She felt a bit vanilla, compared to him. “Just my ears, one in each lobe and one at the top of my right. I always said I was going to get something else, too, but I never know what.” 

“Well, when you make up your mind, you know where I am,” he smiled, returning his focus to her tattoo.  

She couldn’t help herself. “You do seem particularly apt at sticking needles in people, so yes, I think I’ll trust it to you.” 

And neither could he. “Not just needles.” Again, he winked, Holly smiling a little shyly, definitely enjoying the exchange. Oh, and why the heck not? She was thirty-four-year-old single woman eleven months out of a terrible marriage. Why not flirt with the hottie doing her tattoo for her?  

“You little devil!” she giggled, Kelsey and Chris exchanging knowing looks from their respective stations, watching their friend enjoying the hell out of himself in flirting up a storm with his teen crush. It was quite surprising for them to witness, since earlier that day aside, he wasn’t overly brash with it. He still wasn’t even then, but he definitely had something about him that exuded a bit more charm than usual.  

At close to the hour mark, he gave her a little break, covering the tattoo for her with a piece of taped on kitchen paper so she could pop outside and make a phone call, taking his gloves off and grabbing his large vaping mod, going out to stand on the other side of the front door, blowing out plumes of sweetly scented vapour.  

“What is that?” she inquired, moving to his side once her phone call to her friend Kate was done, confirming that she’d be on time for their dinner plans later that evening. “It smells delicious!” 

“Strawberry bubble gum,” he replied, taking another lungful he blew out in a huge cloud ahead. “Because I’m a massive fanny who needs his nicotine with a nice flavour.” 

“Ahh, are you using it as a quitting smoking aid?” 

He shook his head. “Nah, I’ve never smoked cigarettes. They smell vile and make you stink, but after all the shit with my ex, I needed something to de-stress a bit, so I took up vaping.” He paused. “I’m aware that makes me look like a proper massive twat, but it is what it is.”  

She giggled softly. “No, it doesn’t. When I’m drunk, I buy those disposable vapes sometimes. They’re awful, and I know they’re bad for the planet, too! Drunk Holly cannot be held accountable, though.”  

He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, same as drunk Nathan. He’s a pissing liability,” he chuckled. He paused, looking at her, the way she smiled at him, a sudden uprising of courage kicking him sharply. “Speaking of drinking, you busy later? Me and them two inside are heading to that bar just over the other side of the park tonight, Wolfpack. You fancy meeting up?” 

“Erm...” She quickly worked out times in her head. She and Kate were meeting at six, dinner could likely be an hour and a half, and they had said they’d go on someplace else afterwards. With the borough of Brent, where they currently were only just under twenty minutes via car from her home borough of Hammersmith, it was entirely possible that she could. “Yes, alright then. That’d be great!” 

His stomach all but caved in on itself with excitement. “Cool. I’ll be in there from about seven, ‘kay?” 

“Alright,” she beamed, feeling little darts prickling her tummy. “I’ll be there later; I have dinner plans with my mate first. Mind if I bring her along, too?” 

Blowing out another cloud, he shook his head. “Nah, no worries.” He might’ve appeared cool on the outside, but within, he had fireworks going off in his chest. He felt fifteen again, and as soon as Holly had left the shop half an hour later, it showed.  

“Blud, why you bouncing?” Chris asked, just the three of them all between clients, Nathan tapping the pen in his hand begin the counter as he bounced on his heels. 

“Has she moved away from the shop yet?” 

Kelsey turned to peer through the windows. “She’s just got into a black cab.” As soon as he heard that statement he jumped up and down a few times, punching the air. 

“Fucking got a date with her! She’s meeting us later! A few more air punches followed before he composed himself, taking a deep breath through his nose. “And I’m back to being a calm adult.”  

His friends shared a look, Kelsey thinking how adorable his excitement was. It was nice to see. He’d been bordering on morose at times since his split from Lisa. “Only taken you nineteen years, but you got there in the end, eh Gilly?” 

“Better late than never.” he replied, misting his station with antibacterial spray, his next client due to arrive at any moment. That client was a guy he’d originally met over in Dublin, who he’d reconnected with back in London a while ago. Alex was a gargantuan rugby player in the middle of having a full Japanese themed back piece done by Nathan, the appointment taking up the rest of his afternoon until they shut at 6:30pm.  

They worked long hours at the shop, Closed Sunday and Monday, but open from 10am – 7pm Tuesday to Thursday, and 10am – 9pm on Friday, 9am – 6:30pm on Saturday. With nowhere else to be since the dissolution of his marriage, Nathan had begun booking people in late on other weeknights too, giving himself something to take his mind off the fact that he was separated and truly didn’t really want to be. 

Well, that was only half true.  

He was very glad to be free of Lisa after how things had ended between them, but he’d liked being married. He really wasn’t the type of guy who was into playing the field, hence why his friends had been so alarmed at the speed he’d ended up shagging the girl earlier that day.  

In Nathan’s defence, he’d been horny. Very horny, and maybe just a tiny bit lit from the shot of vodka he’d had that morning upon waking, something to soothe his hungover brain. He made a point of never working under the influence, taking too much pride in his work for that, but one shot wasn’t the end of the world, and it had definitely helped him feel more human again.  

After finishing up the latest section of the huge dragon head upon his client’s back, he went and had a few more tots from the bottle of vodka in his fridge before taking a quick shower and changing, meeting his friends back in the shop before they locked up and headed across the park to Wolfpack. Cue Nathan to spend the next hour trying to play it cool, but failing miserably. Whenever anyone female entered the bar, his eyes snapped over, checking to see if it was Holly. Much tapping and neck scratching ensured. 

“Gilly, you’re going to give yourself carpal tunnel. Stop riffing!” Kelsey advised him, pulling his hand away from within his masses of hair. Immediately, he began drumming his fingers on the table. “Such a jittery boy!” 

He cringed slightly, looking perturbed as anxiety corded through his entire body. “Can’t help it, bruv. She’s too hot for me! I mean really, proper gorgeous, she is. And she’s meeting my scruffy rocker arse. Can’t cope, Kels.”  

He was so adorable. “Oh, no, no, no. There’ll be none of this. You, my friend, are bloody lovely. If I had to shag a guy, like if my life depended on letting a penis near me, I’d choose you. You’re a hottie, so stop sitting there looking like a deer caught in the headlights, and scratching like you’ve got the same amount of ticks as one!” 

“Still wanna hide,” he muttered, laughing at himself. 

Nathan was usually so chilled out, it was very odd for her to see him in any other way. Hell, the man had managed to score with a girl in less than five minutes just hours before, not that she really wanted to dwell on such an out of character occurrence too heavily, though.  

“Why though?” she cried gently, shaking his arm. “You were vibing so well with her earlier, and now look at you! Working yourself into a state.” 

“Yeah, but that was on my turf and now I just... ahh, pissing hell. Where’s Chris with those shots?” Turning his attention towards the bar, he could just about make out the sight of his bald head, thankfully appearing to be somewhat close to getting served. It was a very typically busy night. “It’s because it’s her. I’m telling you, she’s too hot for me.” 

“For the love of the virgin Mary’s bicycle!” she exclaimed, making him snort laugh. It was always ‘for the love of the virgin Mary’s’ something or other with her, and it never failed to crack him up. “Calm down, stop scratching your neck and just breathe! Where’s zen Nath? He needs to come back.” 

The back of his neck continued to receive a good scratching. “He’s otherwise engaged.” Looking towards the doors, he saw two women walk in, his heart hammering. Not her, thankfully. He needed the next round Chris was buying to arrive before Holly did.  

Thinning her lips, she contemplated her next statement for a moment. “This isn’t anything to do with Lisa, is it? She didn’t say anything rotten that’s dented you, did she? Because Jesus Harold Christ, I will knock her through the floor if she did.”  

Trust his favourite butch battleaxe on earth to be so protective. She always had been, and if you didn’t know how sweet and gentle Kelsey was, her sheer size alone cut her from a very intimidating cloth. He’d witnessed her knock out fully grown men in the past.  

He huffed slightly, raising his eyebrows before sinking the rest of his pint. “She said plenty of rotten things, but we don’t speak of her any longer.”  

Truly, Kelsey had hit the nail on the head. It was a little bit of his estranged wife’s nastiness making him nervous, but mostly it was a Holly specific. She was the girl he’d fancied from the ages of eleven to fifteen, and even though he was a grown thirty-four-year-old man, seeing her again had reminded him of being fifteen and way too shy and awkward to make a move on her.  

Luckily, Chris arrived back with a tray of drinks, buying them two pints and two shots each, save going up again with how packed the place was. Nathan’s two shots of Jägermeister had been sunk before he’d even sat down. 

“Blud, easy now!” he exclaimed, Nathan grimacing at the taste, but enjoying the warm feeling of the alcohol spreading through his chest. “You can’t be getting all wreck up before she even gets here, fam!” 

“I can and I will, bruv,” he joked, taking a big gulp of his fresh pint, his eyes once again flitting to the entrance. This time, it wasn’t a false alarm. “Oh, hell upon hell. She’s here.” 

His heart thundered in his chest at seeing her, her eyes scanning the crowd, smiling and waving when she saw him. God, she looked great. She was dressed casually in a figure-hugging black bodysuit with a high neck, her toned arms on show, and a pair of wide legged green trousers with very high heels that boosted her height up more than the flipflops she’d been wearing that afternoon.  

“I’m legit having palpitations.” he muttered, Kelsey wrapping her arms around him and kissing his forehead. By the time she arrived with him, he’d calmed down a little bit, Holly introducing her friend Kate to them all, the women taking a seat. Immediately, Holly began sniffing the air.  

“Oooh, what’s that lovely smell?” Sniffing around some more, she leaned closer to Nathan, identifying him as the source. “You smell delish!” 

“Thanks.” He would say that was the moment he calmed down, but no, because the way she viewed him so appreciatively, Nathan felt anything but. In a good way, though.