#wow me doing shading? it is really unheard of

[koszmarnybudyn]

I was planing on doing evil hermie but then this happened....

[accursedkaleeshi]

Salaen’s Bio Wife # 8 ["The incident"]

Guys this is 2k words I am sorry. Your feelings will be hurt. Featuring a homie's Kaleesh OC Rexavarius avr Ladrao

TL:DR: Salaen "Bet you're too good to marry an outcast" Grievous "BET". Wildly irresponsible lush Steve Irwin hunt mother, dual wields machete like a mad lad, dies in a hunting incident a little over a year before Grievous gets obliterated.

As Grievous was leaving Hakaleel Trading with Blys’aan he had asked around for anyone tech savvy. There were not a lot of options. Most of the technology that had come to Kalee had come on the spurs of the Yam’rii due in whole to Grievous seizing all of their surface installations. All other tech came from trading with nearby systems, long haul vendors, & things they had been made to use when the Republic had made contact with them nearly 60 years ago. Yaitee’s scribe did say, however, that there was an outcast at the local aklun that did some work for them when setting up comms. This was exactly what Grievous needed.

An aklun was for all intents & purposes a halfway house. Places where outcast & disenfranchised Kaleesh could stay. Outcast Kaleesh were individuals that were banished from or chose to leave their communities. Invisible Ones were single mothers, their bastard children, & lone orphans. Often the Invisible Ones were folded into the same group as outcasts. Which: not great. Some aklun were run charitably & seen positively to their nearby communities. Some aklun were at the other end of the spectrum where you can’t have shit in Detroit.

This particular aklun was somewhere in between. There were places to sleep but it was a bit rundown. The Kaleesh running it were a bit rundown. Grievous compartmentalized everything he witnessed there, knowing things were about to get 800 times worse for the entire planet. He didn’t have time to grieve these people. They visibly perked up at the mention of work but became concerned again. Salaen was the Kaleesh he was looking for but she was also the primary hunter for this aklun. Although, for their sake & hers, she really could not turn down work.

Salaen agreed to the work on the condition she not go alone. A fellow outcast volunteered to go with her. Rexavarius avr Ladrao knew a bit about networking & more about hard work. Rex assured her it would be fine, as if anyone on Kalee was good for paying them back it was going to be General Grievous. With this, she agreed.

Salaen did not like Grievous. She resented his status & privileges. He was hiring them on to set up network for his entire half built compound, the likes of which was unheard of for a personal home on Kalee. A compound which he was building for his soon-to-be seven wives. They were arriving to a double wedding. They were having pups in this economy. It seemed very selfish to her. And everyone around her was always very impressed with him. Even Rex, choosing to continue to be wholly disenfranchised from society, had a high respect for Grievous. This kept her from lighting him up during that wedding. Also free food.

Grievous later went over the plan with the outcasts on how he wanted things. Salaen was being standoffish the whole time. She noted he could definitely do this himself; it was clear he was comfortable around much more advanced technology. He hired them to do it because he was busy. She understood enough for her & Rex to get the job done. Grievous went into what may have been unnecessary detail as he wrapped up & Salaen could not contain a very sarcastic, “Wow you sure know everything.”

Grievous had just sort of smiled & said, “You do not have to like me, but know that I understand your anger. If I let my fury remain directed at the inaction of others I would have immolated long ago. Sometimes you just have to change things yourself.”

At this Salaen set her jaw & looked him in the eyes, feeling patronized. “You are from that tri-village settlement in east Kunbal, yeah? Kolkpravis runoffs living in the shade of the cliffs?” That was very specific information for someone to be privy to. When Grievous had cautiously confirmed she followed, “So was I. A village next to yours. The huk saw the ones on either side first, isn’t that right? Some of us little ones hid well enough to escape the assault but not well enough to avoid the scouts they sent out constantly. I am sure I only escaped because of you & your rifle. I could hear the crack, even muffled by the jungle.” In the silence that followed Salaen looked angry. But what could she say that wouldn’t sound petty & ridiculous.

After a moment Grievous bowed his head to her, wearing a very knowing look. “As it grew, my shadow became harder to get out of, this I know,” he had said, clapping the both of them on the shoulders as he passed between them & left.

There was a long pause until she preemptively told Rex to shut up. This prompted Rexavarius to give her a reality check only a fellow homeless vagrant can give, having also lost his entire clan to the bugs. It culminated in, & I’m paraphrasing, “Thing about resentment is that it is only hurting you. You’re not dumb, you know it. Out of all the miserable greedy kaleesh you’ve ever met at least this one actually did something about it.” She was like, “You’re right but where did I ask you.” To which Rex replied, “If I have to do this job with you I have a limit to how much bitching I will put up with. Besides. You know he is not like that [Salaen implying Grievous is classist & above them]. You know lij Kummar came from nothing?” For once, Salaen does not argue.

She hadn’t thought of lij Kummar. No one had come close to even breathing a word remotely near the subject of her. Rex was right. As far as every Kaleesh on the planet knew, Ronderu lij Kummar had come from nothing. She survived as an outcast for as long as she had been on the mainland. Not simply an outcast, even, but thoroughly demonized. She had become a minor patron saint of sorts to the outcasts & the invisible. Every Kaleesh on the planet also knew how beloved she was by jai Sheelal, both driven by the other & their righteous fury.

After this talk she reconsidered being hostile to Grievous & instead took to studying him like she was starting an audit. Rexavarius would occasionally help her psychoanalyze this literal national war hero but eventually stopped, telling her he was biased. Really Rex just wanted to finish this very generously paying job without getting on the wrong side of whom many believed to be a planetary demigod. When Rex stopped humoring her she started talking to his wives when they brought them food. All in all a very thorough investigation, over the course of a few months, as to why she shouldn’t resent Grievous. Because if her resentment was unfounded this whole time she would have to own up to it, which was almost worse. Salaen eventually came to Grievous when he was reviewing the last of the network connections to go in (& when Rex was not around).

What she literally said was, “Hey, General. Sorry for being…an entire bitch to you.”

Grievous had smiled & laughed. “I was not just placating you when I said I understood very intimately your indignation,” he said. Salaen knew this to be the case. Knowing his deeds aside, the emptiness lingering at his core behind the fire had become obvious as she had started to look for it.

Instead of telling him this she replied, “That was a lot for a kliin’yzru.” (Basically “Those were some big words for a hobo.”) Grievous had clicked his tongue at her for being a smartass. They would then bitch at each other about electronics with less hostility in the intent.

Right before Rex & Salaen finished the entire job Grievous was gone again on some diplomatic something or other. It was completed by the time he got back with another Kaleesh in tow. Rex & Salaen were chilling with the wives, drinking as they had been doing. Grievous was like, “Yo I’m back. I know I said we had enough wives but I beat Kevanru in ritual combat & they said they had to return to the rule of their father or marry me so. Here we are.” There was immediate overlapping chatter. This included both Jyada & Salaen admonishing him for being a slut, as well as Mertenzi telling him to stop bringing people home like a bleeding heart dovt’in.

Grievous went over the outcast’s work & was pleasantly surprised at the quality. He offered the pair to stay on if they wanted to (despite what Mertenzi had just said the day before). Rex was honored but said he preferred to move on, accustomed to his solitary wandering. Salaen hesitated. She realized that not only did she actually like these Kaleesh but that Grievous was offering her an actual home, something she had not had since she was a pup. She finally said, “Do I have to defeat you in ritual combat?”

Grievous had turned to his wives gathering for the morning & just kind of yelled, “What do we think of Salaen?” There was another instance of overlapping chatter that was wholly positive, with cheers, clapping, & Jyada whistling.

Short of the long of it (I say, at 1500 words), Grievous married Salaen & Kevanru in the same ceremony at the end of the 35 BBY year. (Rexavarius came back to attend bc free food.) Salaen fell in with Jyada & Bryaru so instantaneously that it made adjusting to this new lifestyle a little easier. She had a short temper & continued to be very defensive of her actions & origins. Out of all the wives, Salaen was the most disconnected from Grievous. She loved him, but there are many different kinds of love that Kaleesh understood innately & didn’t really feel the need to label. She never felt her love for him was the same as some of the others’. Part of her feelings of inadequacy came from living so much of her life isolated & part of them were reactionary.

Once she saw the emptiness in him it was hard to overlook it. It never changed even as their family continued to grow. It was an untouchable sadness that left her & many others feeling helpless & inadequate in their inability to fix. That had not been a secret to any of them. Literally the whole planet knew. But watching it cripple him in private moments was still difficult. Grievous did love her, as he loved all of his family, but likewise: there are different kinds of love. He had to temper his interactions with Salaen, sometimes avoiding her completely & just hoping she understood. She did. She saw the most sadness in him because she reminded him the most of Ronderu.

They looked nothing alike, of course, but their background had been similar. Outcast, alone, bitter, & angry about it. It led to their defensive attitudes. Desperation to be validated with the refusal to admit it. They both communicated…aggressively. Grievous felt he had perhaps selfishly put them both in this situation. He could not & would not ask Salaen to change who she was. He could curtail these thoughts with enough mental preparation but even so, it often blindsided them. The result was just more of his grief on display than he’d like & a lot of unspoken but understood apologies between the two.

Besides their husband’s internal struggle, Salaen fit into the family well. She was a hunt wife, dual wielding machetes. It was always a toss up as to whether she helped balance out Jyada’s chaos or she became part of the problem. She did love the drink & often dealt with her emotional labor with alcohol. Salaen was the hunt mother that taught the children most about the animals. She was always chasing, catching, &/or otherwise manhandling the wildlife to the point where other parents had to put a disclaimer on her actions. Like a wildly irresponsible Steve Irwin.

Salaen had 2 children of her own. Spare time was spent with Jyada, Bryaru, & Kevanru whom liked to drink around the fire when the children were asleep. She did feel like she belonged there with them. She lived 11 years with their family. In 24 BBY she died following a piinyur (a sabre-toothed jungle cat) attack whilst camping for the night with the rest of the hunt mothers & a handful of children. Jyada & Weyla were also injured, Weyla losing her left foot at the ankle.

[rons-wheezely]

Cedric || Congratulations

Genre: fluff, Cedric Diggory x reader

Summary: [B&W soulmate!AU] when everything is black and white until you hear your soulmates voice for the first time. “Congratulations, Diggory!” 

A/N: sorry for the lack of activity!! I’m trying to think outside of the box with these fics, so it’ll take some time :)

--x--

Everyone hooped and hollered at the new Prefects list. You were a year younger than the qualifying age, but you practically jumped out of your seat when people you knew were called. Fred and George looked at you incredulously as you joined the masses of excited cheers. You’ve always wanted to be a Prefect, despite what your friends thought about it.

“A Prefect?” George questioned when you told him afterwards. You two were walking in the hallways after the announcements.

Fred popped up on the other side,” --More like a prat.” The two of them snickered to each other, and you could only roll your eyes at their usual antics. 

Your eyes land on the new Hufflepuff prefects who were now making their way out of the Great Hall. You cupped your hands and shouted to them,“Congratulations, Diggory!” You smiled and waved at Cedric, who had a look of shock overwhelm him. Before he could call out to you, he was swept away by the other Hufflepuffs.

“How’d you even meet Cedric?” Fred looked at you and then at George. “He’s not in our house, plus isn’t Cedric a year older?”

“How would you know what house he’s in? All of the houses look the same.” You responded. The houses were various shades of black and white, so it was hard to differentiate or remember what house you were actually in. Knowing Diggory though, was a different story. You shrug, pretending to not get the hint,”...Everyone knows Diggory.”

“Okay, but how do you actually know him?”

You mulled over your words before casually responding. “He may or may not have passed me a note with answers to a potions exam.” 

The Weasley boys feign a gasp of shock and horror. “Our y/n could never!” Fred screeched and dramatically placed the back of his hand on his forehead like he was starring in a soap opera. 

“Y/n cheating? Merlin, that’s unheard of!” George added in.

They both had a look of agony as if the thought had tormented them for years,”A future Prefect who breaks school rules?” The two circle around you as you walked through the hallway. 

“I might as well auction my left pinky toe to potions...” Fred shakes his head in dismay. You know he’s only joking, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up happening.

You laugh, amused by their usual antics. “It’s not that extreme, I can assure you. Cedric and I are friends; we pass notes sometimes during class is all.” You shrug again, but for the longest that had been a secret you kept to yourself. You had never really spoken to Cedric, but with how frequently you two passed notes, it seemed only right to be called friends.

“Cheating and passing notes?” Fred quirks

“We might as well be triplets, y/n.” George’s arm is slung around your shoulder. “We should head to Fortescue’s Ice cream parlor to celebrate our third twin; what do you blokes think?”

You agree along with Fred, already watering at the thought of Fortescue’s ice cream. When you arrive though, it seems that everyone else had the same idea. The shop is practically overflowing with customers who were eager to get their hands on some sweets. You sigh, already preparing yourself to leave before you even go in.

“Wow y/n, you think they’re celebrating too?” Fred smiles to reassure you when he sees your disappointed face. “They might be here for the prefects, but it’s better to think they’re here for little miss Weasley.” He hoots and hollers along with the crowd as he winks to you.

George and Fred guide you safely to the counter. The shop is loud and bustling with chatter, but you manage to order as you please and find a nearby table to wait. It comes soon enough and the sugary sweets fill your mouth. Fred and George are talking to a couple of other kids they knew when you make eye contact with Diggory from across the room. Has he been there the whole time? Nevertheless, you give him a small wave and a friendly smile.

He waves back and opens his mouth to call out to you, but the twins pull you (quite literally) into their conversation. “--and this is the lovely prat who won the bet! She robbed me of half my supply of joke inventions, didn’t ya?”

You laugh,” How could I forget! The look on your face when I used every single one of ‘em on you; you never even saw it coming!”

Ice cream and treat bowls were empty, and customers had started wearing thin. You turn to clean up after yourself while the twins try to bargain for more. Stuck onto the side of your sundae cup was a note. You immediately recognized it as Diggory’s writing, and picked it up gingerly. 

Can we meet in the courtyard? I’d really like to say thank you in person, but I understand if you have other plans tonight. See you at 9? :)

A quick glance at the clock on the wall reads as 8:32, so you start packing up your things in a faster pace. “--what do you say? My brother and I--”

“Fred,” you looked at the two,” George, are you ready to go?”

“We’re always ready, y/n.” the twins smirk, but they wave goodbye to Mr. Fortescue and leave minutes after you do. “What’s the rush?” They ask in their unsettling unison. You all arrive on campus when you turn to look at them.

“Curfew is at ten, boys,” you look back at them. “I’m going to need this extra hour to study, which you would understand if you actually studied.” 

They chuckle amongst themselves,”We’re just naturally gifted; built for wizarding already. I guess we’ll head back to our dorms then? Since joining you is out of the question.” Then look at each other and nod like they know exactly what they plan to do when they get there. “See you later, y/n!”

After you were sure they left, you turn the corner towards the courtyard. Of course you had to study, but you could always do it inside the dorms after call time. “...Diggory?” You called out. You spot him just on the other side of the fountain, and you walk over to meet up with him. “This is a little too ominous for a little thank you, don’t you think?” 

He was looking down at the floor with his eyebrows furrowed, but relief is washed over him when he sees you. You walk closer and watch as the moonlight highlights his features in a glowing hue. The courtyard is desolate, with the exception that you two were there and the usual nightlife that animals got up to. 

He walks closer to you and meets halfway. Cedric’s voice is barely above a whisper when he says,” I think we’re soulmates?” 

And just like that, the face you were looking at flushed with color. His house color was a soft, warm tone that accented his robes, and his hair was tussled with deep locks of a rich color. His eyes were still grey, but you’d love him all the same. He’s smiling at you as you take in all of your surroundings, breathing in the view of this new world.

The longer he smiled at you, the more desperate you’d become to knowing the name of the color on his lips. Maybe it was the same color of love, you thought to yourself. Dumbfounded, you find yourself closing the gap between you two, a hug filled with more vibrancy and warmth than you had ever known. This was just the beginning, and soon you’d know the taste of his lips too.

--x--

A/N: requests are open! I am working on a requested date with Ron, so stay tuned my loves <3

[goldenworldsabound]

The Onsen Episode

This is technically for the “Misty” samhain selfship prompt which I KNOW is a stretch but let me have this lol. I want to say that this fic falls completely outside any semblance of canon. But I couldn’t resist writing this down once Set-chan and I discussed the idea :p

Word count: 1295

Content warning: mention of (but no description of) non-sexual nudity

All Auron had wanted was a relaxing break in the onsen. The rising steam of the hot water as it mixed with the brisk day made him feel at ease despite missing his usual shades and collar. It was peaceful.

Or at least, it would have been, had he not been stuck with Tidus and Wakka. The two couldn't seem to sit still in the hot water, pushing each other and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Kimahri chose not to partake in the hot water, sitting cross legged on a nearby rock, quietly observing.

Auron closed his eye, resting his arms on the edge of the pool. Perhaps he could block them out.

"Hey Auron!"

Auron groaned at Tidus' loud voice. He cracked his eye open, shooting daggers at Tidus, who was directly in front of him, with a grin on his face. A mischievous, boyish grin. Auron could already tell he wasn't going to like this. And there was Wakka beside him, a similar boyish expression on his face.

"Yes, Tidus?" Auron asked, trying to keep his tone even.

"So you and Wendy, huh..." Tidus said slyly, waggling his brows.

"You two seem close, ya?" Wakka asked. Both of them watched for Auron's reaction.

"...that is none of your concern." Auron replied. At least his face was already flushed from the hot water. He looked to the side, willing them to leave him alone.

"Don't be like that!" Tidus responded with a pout, crossing his arms. It became a smile soon enough. "It's obvious, so there's no point in hiding it!"

"I'm not being like anything." Auron shot back, looking clearly annoyed. "I'm not hiding anything."

"That's good ya, cause if you were trying to hide it you've been doing a terrible job." Wakka added.

"Hide. What." Auron asked through gritted teeth, despite himself.

"That you're in love with Wendy!" Tidus blurted out.

"I-" Auron flushed darker. He wasn't sure what he'd expected but he found himself at a loss. "I am not!"

"Dunno, seems like she's the only person you get a little tender and soft around, ya?" Wakka smirked. "It's real easy to see you know."

"You must be imagining things." Auron snapped, scowling. "I don't get tender or soft for anyone-"

"Kimahri thinks that you are in denial." Kimahri interjected, crossing his arms and staring directly at Auron, who looked back with barely masked surprise. "And Kimahri is certain that Wendy cares for you, too."

Everyone stared at Kimahri for a moment.

"If even Kimahri knows, it sounds like you're just gonna have to accept it, Auron." Tidus continued smugly, raising a thumbs up at Kimahri, who stared at him for a moment before looking away.

"..." Auron closed his eye, pressing his lips together into a thin line. He opened his eye again, and suddenly shifted to send a wave of water at Tidus and Wakka with his arm. The two boys yelped in surprise before the water hit them. "Just let me rest in peace." He grumbled, settling back into his spot on the side of the spring.

"Oh no, it is ON now, right Wakka?!" Tidus said, glancing at Wakka.

"It sure is!" Wakka agreed. They both looked at Auron, and began violently splashing water at him.

"I'm going to make sure you both regret that."

---------------------------

Meanwhile, in the other bath, Yuna, Lulu, Rikku, and Wendy were having an animated conversation about battle tactics.

"Wow, mechs are so cool! I'm so grateful the Al-Bhed didn't let our knowledge of them die out." Wendy said, smiling at Rikku.

"YEAH! It's too important to just let it go!" Rikku replied with a passionate punch to the air. "Magic is really cool and all, but I don't see why we can't have both."

"It's certainly something I hadn't questioned much, until this journey." Lulu added thoughtfully.

"I hadn't either. Wendy did her best to keep her secret mech projects away from us." Yuna said with a giggle.

"Aha, clearly not good enough, I didn't realize you'd seen any of them." Wendy laughed a little.

"You had secret mech projects?!" Rikku asked, slapping her hands onto her face, before flailing them in the air. "Tell me tell me!"

"They weren't very impressive! Most of them were failures. And out on Besaid I didn't have much access to tech anyway." Wendy pouted a bit. "I was just...curious if I could make...well, I tried to make something that would respond to magic and put it on the television. Like, the...the form of the energy, I guess. But I think that was rather ambitious for someone with my level of knowledge."

"Ooh, that sounds cool though!" Rikku's eyes were sparkling.

"I had no idea. Was there some application you had in mind?" Lulu asked.

Wendy shook her head. "No, not really. I guess I was curious if different types of magic showed up differently. Especially if my modifications to spells like Blizzaga actually made a difference in strength or structure or if it was...pointless?"

"Oh but Wendy, it's so clear that your modified spells are different than other peoples'!" Yuna chimed in. "Using Blizzaga to make a defensive move is...simply unheard of!"

"She's right." Lulu nodded in agreement.

"Well yeah, but with spells like Shell and Protect and even the Nul Element spells it seems...superfluous. Like, sure it lets me create somewhat equivalent effects without learning white magic, but I do know white magic, and I'm not sure if there would even really be a time savings..." Wendy sighed.

"Things can be cool without serving a purpose." Rikku added, shrugging. "Not everything has to be the most important thing ever."

"Ha, okay, fair." Wendy smiled. "Thanks, everyone." The group went quiet for a moment. It was then that they heard splashing and yelling coming from the other bath.

Lulu shook her head. "Why in Spira are they yelling?" She asked, looking up at the sky with disbelief and a hint of a scowl.

"Uh, I hope everything is okay over there...what if there's a fiend or something?" Yuna gasped, putting her hands over her mouth.

"I think they'd probably let us know. But they're big boys anyway they can handle it!" Rikku giggled. "Even if it'd look a little funny fighting naked."

Her remark seemed to shut up Wendy, who had been just about to speak. Her face flushed, as did Yuna's.

"Fighting...naked." Wendy mumbled, staring down at the water. She slid herself in deeper, as if to hide. She considered the image of muscled Auron, swinging that huge sword around while she could see every ripple of muscle across his body. The thought got her heart pounding. Oh, dear.

"That is...certainly an image." Yuna laughed, covering up her own response to the thought of seeing Tidus naked. "Are you thinking about Sir Auron, Wendy?" She asked, deflecting any attention she may have been about to receive.

"Huh?" Wendy blinked, suddenly aware of everyone smirking at her.

"Oh yeah! Are you, are you?" Rikku asked.

"That would be quite a sight, wouldn't it, Wendy?" Lulu piled on as well, smirking knowingly.

Wendy stammered in vain before snapping her mouth shut to collect her thoughts.

"It's not very nice to gang up on me." She squeaked out. "Auron is, Auron is just an old friend of mine." She was screaming internally as her voice cracked - she hardly sounded convincing. "B-but surely anyone could appreciate his, er, his physique, no?"

"Seems like you were stricken by the thought," Lulu pushed. She shrugged. "Just an observation."

"Yeah! Just saying!" Rikku added.

"You two would be a wonderful couple, though." Yuna said, going the extra mile.

"YUNA!" Wendy put her face in her hands. "Can we please discuss something else?!"

[behindthebrokenglass]

Good morning my fellow bloggers, readers, or anyone really looking for a daily topic to relate to. I constantly wish that someone stumbles upon these posts, so I can have a voice and show others they are not alone, and that they can have a voice too. I feel like our rights as citizens and human beings that we should be allowed and feel OKAY to speak up without the fear of judgment and consequences. considerably speaking here in America the first amendment gives you that freedom. Freedom to me is just a word, a feeling that developed into a concept America can’t even hold. Internationally freedom is ripped from us wherever we go.

When I feel like life’s topics can be a bit too heavy, I resort to Netflix. Watching a bloody horror movie makes things feel so much better on my side of life’s spectrum. Mostly because I still have a right arm, a left leg and Freddy Krueger wasn’t my nightmare on Elm street. Maybe the reason I watch these crime scenarios is to stimulate a scary feeling when I actually end up laughing instead. Now that’s twisted! Trying to dissect my own brain is where my true crime obsession kicks in. It is my go to for understanding the criminal mind and the mindset of a victim. I have a deep yearning of exposing these 50 shades of grey the world likes to cover up and hide away. I stumbled upon a Netflix documentary called , “Athlete A.” This one hit way too close to home for me. I try to bring light with new perspectives to share with people during my personal blogging time. Well, maybe because it’s easier to voice things out this way. Also the amount of other people out there struggling just like me and you or maybe just a bi-standard trying to understand. A familiar story to tell, can at least bring you one important thing to hold onto. HOPE.

This documentary I watched is about a well known doctor, a predatory coach who moved from gym to gym, state to state. Well, why would a predator stick to one specific location? Of course moving around to different locations makes it harder for authorities to catch up with your tracks as long as you stay inconsistent. Yet, there was one specific consistency that stuck out. The amount of victims who reported and made complaints that went UNHEARD or it was just stuck into another file in another cabinet is deranged. So, who is Dr. Larry Nassar ? A serial rapist, and sex offender. He was served over as the USA Olympic gymnastics trainer and physician. Nassar was also a prominent member of the community and a former teacher at the Michigan State University. He was a doctor specializing in Osteopathic medicine at the time for the women’s gymnastics and crew teams. In medical school he worked as a trainer and then became a volunteer doing community work. He opened a foundation for autistic children and the community viewed him as a “larger than life, better than real person” (in the words of Tim Evans, an investigator reporter for Indianapolis). He even obtained 2,700 votes for a position on the Holt School board in Michigan. WOW! Busy man..... the sad thing about this is, is USA Gymnastics for USA olympics tried to help cover it up.

Bela and Martha Karolyi held a training camp for the USA gymnastics where Nassar worked. They based their training methods off of cruelty to get their athletes to work harder. This came around In the mid 60’s to around 1973 the Romanians decided to up their game in the Olympic gymnastics competition by having their athletes start training young. It really begun to solidify after the first youngest Romanian gold olympics champion Nadia Comaneci, a 14 year old female had won the olympics (1976). The coach’s had the benefit of having more control over the girls because they were younger. Bela and Martha Karolyi had trained Nadia and had proved their methods to be effective. They would have absolute total control over them. They slapped the girls, controlled their weight, called them names, and were very very cruel. After they came to America, they decided to bring those methods with them when they opened up their training camp for USA gymnastics. They developed a “wholesome image” that was vital to upkeep. Steve penny All the president of USA gymnastics cared about was business and money. Manipulating a child’s dreams to sell a brand.

Finally, a slip through the crack has opened. A former victim of this man and his procedures had spoken up and came forward with the same allegations a current victim had complained about. This finally prompted an open investigation. She had gone to explain that she was too young to know if what he was doing was right or wrong, or even normal. She expressed how the abuse victims are not treated well. That they are mocked, questioned, blamed and shamed. After the allegations were made, the girls were harassed, their ex boyfriends got involved, they had information dug up about them to hold against them. Very cruel people called them “whores” said “she was drunk” “ look at her she was asking for it” Just the thought of me speaking out against my predator with his authority is almost more terrifying than when it happened. The thought of what’s next if I say anything at all.... is the exact same reasons these girls stayed quiet for so long. It is in fact the most terrifying thing and the only thing in this world I am actually afraid of. The thought of “well, nobody will believe me” - “I already reported it and nothing happened”- “he’s a hero in the communities eyes but a monster in my own” - “but here I stand knowing I’m not alone.... waiting for the day someone says something so I can then come forward too” all these thoughts rushing, circulating, over and over..time after time. “When will it ever be the time?”...... hope.

As much as I fantasize over the concept of an eye for an eye, it wouldn’t fix anything besides making the whole damn world go blind. Society is already blind to this common form of sex abuse. A person in authority with good standing politically can do as he pleases as long as he stays consistent with his manipulation. This narcissistic behavior may never go away but should be put away. What these men fear the most is taking public accountability. Their stigma, reputation, and self image is more important than anything to them. For almost everyone of these girls, this is their first sexual experience. When you take the ability to love and express love from somebody and to totally damage it.....It profoundly effects their spirit, their psyche and emotional development. A man with power can take and steal YOU from YOU that will take an entire lifetime to ever get back. ONE VOICE....can lead to So Many other voices. I want to have hope.... my grandmother once told me to stop hoping and start believing.... I am trying.

[quoth-the-sparrow]

A Burst Of Color

A Sanders Sides Fanfiction

Warnings: TS Deceit, Sympathetic Deceit (if I need to add anything, let me know)

Pairings: Analoceit, Background Royality, Remile and Joan/Talyn

Description: Soulmate!AU; a symbol of your soulmate is tattooed on your body in black ink. When you meet your soulmate it fills in with color

Word Count: 2,280

You can also find this story here on ao3

I wrote this story for @elfarmyenby 

Virgil looked out the window, absentmindedly tapping his fingers against his leg. His father hummed along to the song playing on the radio, but he could hardly focus. High school was alright, filled with music and friends, but still he was missing something. Someone. Two someones, to be specific. He traced the black ink tattoos on his arms with his fingers, first the snake and dahlia on his left arm, then the hummingbird and lotus on his right. Soulmates. He had two soulmates; which wasn’t unheard of but wasn’t particularly common either. Maybe college is where he’d finally meet them.

He was so lost in thought that it took him awhile to realize his father was trying to get his attention. “Virgil? Kiddo, what’s on your mind?”

“Hmm? What? Oh, sorry, dad. I just am wondering if I’ll meet them. My soulmates, I mean.” The word made him feel melancholy; he wanted to know who the people he would come to love were. What they liked to do for fun, what kinds of food they liked, what music they listened to. If they’d be anything like Virgil imagined they’d be.

The car stopped at a light and his father looked at him over the top of his glasses. “Virgil, they’re going to love you. You’ll meet them soon, but it can’t be the only thing you’re working towards okay? You have to focus on school, work, and making friends too!”

Virgil nodded, running a hand through his short hair. He took a deep breath as the car lurched forward again. “I will, dad, don’t worry. I just… I thought for sure I’d meet them in high school. Most of my friends met their soulmates in high school. I didn’t.” He looked down at his tattoos again. What if he’d missed them somehow? What if he wasn’t driving towards his soulmates, but further and further away?

Patton seemed to sense his son’s worry and said, “Well, I didn’t meet your father until I was 24. I still remember the way his eyes lit up when he saw my tattoo fill in with color. He swept me off my feet, literally! He was so handsome; he still is! My Romeo.”

“Dad, gross!” Virgil laughed, and his dad did too. He loved his parents; they always had a way to brighten his mood when the storm clouds rolled in. His dad was right; he was gonna be okay. He had to have hope, right?

“How much longer until we get to the dorms?”

“Not too much longer, I don’t think. Maybe half an hour? Then we can get you all set up!”

Virgil nodded and went back to staring at the window. So much was happening in his life right now. He only hoped that all the steps he was taking would bring his soulmates into his life.

***

“Yes, dad, I have everything. I’m gonna fill up before I head out.” Logan said as he put the last of the boxes into his car.

Emile smiled, giving his son a hug. “Oh, I’m gonna miss you! You’ll call every day, right? And take care of yourself? Mental health is just as important as physical health, remember that. And if you need anything, anything at all, I’ll drive over. You know that, right?”

Logan let out a soft sigh and hugged back tightly before pulling away. “Yes, I promise I’ll call every day. I do know that my mental health is important; you’ve been telling me that my whole life.”

“I know, I just- you’ve never been away from home before! We homeschooled you, took you on trips, all together as a family. And now here you are, going off to college! I’m so proud of you, but I can’t help but worry. That’s what parents do.”

Logan adjusted his glasses, not sure where to look. His eyes fell on his tattoos and he smiled. They’d always been a source of comfort to him, a way to ground himself when the world got to be too much. “Dad, I’m going to be okay. I can do this. I have my stim toys and I remember all my grounding and coping techniques and I have you and dad on speed dial.”

He nodded and gave Logan one last hug. “Be safe on the road, and call when you get there okay? Bye, Logan!”

“I will, bye dad.” Logan got in his car and pulled out of the driveway. He only hesitated for a second before driving away. He was both excited and nervous, almost scared of what awaited him at college. But he couldn’t stay at home forever. He had to live his own life, follow his own path. Besides, he had two people to meet, and hopefully they were just as excited to meet him as he was to meet them.

***

Dee sighed as xe flopped back onto xyr bed. This was ridiculous. Why couldn’t xe just do this? “Just get up, you idiot, you have a dorm to get to.” Xe stared at xyr tattoos, lost in their patterns. Xe had always been intrigued by xyr tattoos; it was pretty uncommon to have more than one soulmate. Dee had two. One of the tattoos was a stack of books with a pair of glasses resting on top. The books covered a wide variety of subjects, from poetry to history to science. The other tattoo was simpler but no less curious; a pair of headphones surrounded by music notes.

Dee forced xemself to get up and get ready. Xe still needed to put the last of xyr boxes in the car, and drive up to the school. Maybe xyr soulmates were there. It was a bit troubling to xem that xe hadn’t met xyr soulmates yet. Xyr parents had found each other in high school, but Dee had graduated and hadn’t met either of xyr soulmates. Xe had gone to every music store, every library and bookshop in hopes of meeting them, but to no avail. College had to be it, right? Xe wished it to be true with all xyr might.

“Okay, I can do this,” xe muttered to xemself as they sat up. Grabbing a box of sketchbooks, xe headed to xyr car to finish loading up. Xyr parents had left for work for the day already but it wasn’t a huge deal since xe wasn’t even leaving the city for college.

Xe sent a quick text message to xyr parents letting them know xe was headed to the dorms before driving off. Xe took a deep breath and tried to think of who xyr soulmates might be, and hoped that whoever xyr two soulmates were, they’d love and accept xem for who xe was.

***

Virgil set down the last of his things. It had taken almost ten minutes to get his dad to leave. He knew his dad meant well, but still. It looked like he was the first to get there. The dorms were nice; he had chosen the room at the far end of the hall and hoped his roommates wouldn’t mind. He sat on the floor in the living room area and scrolled through Tumblr, having no real desire to unpack quite yet.

The front door opened a while later and Virgil looked up from his phone. A boy walked in, nearly stumbling as he crossed the threshold. Virgil stood to help the stranger, who was struggling with the boxes in his hands. “Whoa, hey let me help you with that.” Virgil grabbed the box on top and set it down onto the floor.

“Thank you for your help. My name is Logan, it’s nice to meet-” Logan stopped, words caught in his throat. Virgil had looked into Logan’s eyes and at that moment, their tattoos glowed softly before filling in with color. They each stared down at the ink, then each other again.

Virgil was the first to speak. “You… you’re my, we’re... “

“Soulmates.” Logan finished. Virgil blushed and nodded, smiling at the other boy. Virgil thought he was handsome, those bright blue eyes sparkling behind his glasses. He took everything in, not wanting to miss anything. He was tall, taller than Virgil by at least a few inches. He had some sort of medical bracelet on, and he looked utterly adorable in his black shirt and blue tie.

Logan was staring as well, which made Virgil blush an even deeper shade of red. He hoped Logan thought he was good looking, because Logan sure as hell was. Logan… “Oh hell, my name.”

“My name is Virgil, by the way.” He swept his dark hair out of his eyes. Logan smiled and said “Oh! Like the poet?” Virgil nodded.

“Yeah; my dads wanted something unique.”

“It suits you,” Logan said, and he gently took Virgil’s hand in his. Virgil looked down at their joined hands and smiled. Finally, a soulmate! He still felt that other piece missing, but even just having Logan there felt amazing, like a puzzle piece clicking into place.

“Do you mind if we compare tattoos? I’m curious to see what mine looks like.” Logan showed Virgil his arms, one tattoo colored and the other blank.

“Oh, yeah sure.” Virgil took in Logan’s tattoo, the one that symbolized him. It was a grand piano, with music sheets spread above it. “I love that; I’ve played piano ever since I was eight. I also really like playing guitar and drums, but I’m not as good at those yet.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Wow, you play three instruments? That’s incredible, you must be very talented.”

“Thank you,” Virgil replied. “I really like the tattoo that represents you. Do you like hummingbirds?” Virgil showed Logan the tattoo he had of a hummingbird flitting over a blue lotus. Logan adjusted his glasses.

“I do! They’re wonderful birds; did you know that they’re extremely smart? A hummingbird's brain is larger in comparison to body size than any other bird. Not to mention, they have a terrific memory. They know every flower in their territory and how long it will take each flower to refill; isn’t that fascinating?” Logan’s whole face lit up as he rambled about them, and Virgil listened happily. So one of his soulmates was an incredibly smart nerd; he could roll with that.

“I remember something about how they represent love and luck.” Virgil added once Logan was finished. “I looked it up, to see if maybe it could tell me something about who you’d be.”

“That makes logical sense; all flowers and animals have meaning. What about your other tattoo? For our other soulmate.” Logan held out his other arm, showing a sketchbook with a drawing of a snake, an ink pen beside it.

“Seems like they’re into art. Mine has a snake too, look.” Virgil showed Logan the tattoo of a snake wrapped around a dahlia.

“That is curious but makes sense. Snakes represent a creative life force, rebirth and transformation. I wonder when we’ll meet them. Perhaps they’re going to be our other roommate?”

Just then a car pulled up and parked. Virgil and Logan looked from the front door to each other and back again. “I guess we’re gonna find out, huh?”

Logan stood first and helped Virgil to his feet before heading out the front door. The two of them saw someone get out of the car. They held hands and waited, both of them hoping that this was their soulmate.

***

Dee parked the car and took a deep breath. Xyr nerves were completely shot at this point but xe knew xe needed to relax. Panicking would do xem no good; besides, there was no guarantee that xyr roommates would even be xyr soulmates. Still, xe knew xe had to prepare for the worst. “You just had to wear a skirt, didn’t you?” xe scolded xemself. It was too late now, so xe steeled xemself and got out of the car.

Xe saw two figures standing by the front door. Dee looked at them and waved. The shorter boy in the purple shirt nodded in return, and the taller one in the tie waved back. Dee gulped. They were both attractive, and he glanced at their joined hands. “Maybe they’re soulmates?” Dee walked up to them to introduce xemself.

“Hello, my name is December, but you can call me Dee if you want.” As xe moved closer, the boy in purple glanced at xyr tattoos. Dee noticed this and looked down, smoothing xyr skirt.

“It’s nice to meet you, December. I’m Logan, and this is my soulmate Virgil.” Dee looked back up and met first Virgil’s gaze, then Logan’s. Before anyone could say anything more, both Dee’s tattoos glowed, filling in with color.

Xe stared at xyr colorful tattoos and grinned. “You’re my soulmates. You’re my soulmates!!” Xe dashed up the steps and hugged Virgil and Logan, who hugged back tightly. It felt right, so right, but still Dee couldn’t shake that feeling of nervousness. Xe gently pulled away.

“Um, there is one thing I need to tell you both. Well technically two things…” Dee trailed off. Logan nodded, an encouragement to go on.

“What is it, Dee?” Virgil asked.

“I’m nonbinary trans, and I use xe/xem pronouns. Is that okay?” Dee bit xyr lip and waited for a response. Logan tilted his head and Virgil gave Dee’s hand a soft squeeze.

“December, that’s who you are. Of course it’s okay. You’re my soulmate; our soulmate. Nothing's gonna change that.”

Logan took Dee’s other hand and smiled. “I agree with Virgil. You have nothing to worry about.”

The three of them embraced once more, each of them finally feeling complete.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this story! Reblogs are greatly appreciated. Tell me what you think! If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my taglist, please let me know by sending me an ask. You can find me on ao3 at Storytelling_Sparrow. Thank you so much for your continued support!

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[make-it-mavis]

Homesick (Entry #22)

(cw: alcohol, drug reference) ----------

01/09/88   2:06 AM

Hey.

I think I’m gonna have to go into some stuff I’d rather not talk about. At least I’m the only one who will ever read this.

Just bear with me.

Even after being hidden away for just a week, Game Central felt eerily foreign to me when we stepped out into it. It felt like seeing it for the first time all over again, but in a bad way. Five years ago, I was awestruck by the bright, bustling energy of a golden hall filled with a rainbow of total strangers. That didn’t happen, this time around. I didn’t step out into adventure, I stepped out into a train station. It was nothing more than what it was. Just a cold, sterile, point A to point B train station. And this time, there wasn’t a single sprite who didn’t know who I was.

I made a beeline for Tapper’s and hurried along, but made sure Wreck-it was still relatively close behind me. Passersby slowed, stared, gasped and whispered to their friends. None of them seemed outwardly hostile, but I wasn’t about to dawdle and give them a chance to be. I was on high alert, higher than I’d ever been in my life.

I even had a thought, once we got off the train at Tapper’s, that this whole rendezvous might have been a trap. That Wreck-it had baited me into it, and I’d be fighting for my life again in minutes. Yeah. All kinds of ridiculous, right? Still, I planted my feet, and had to be nudged along into the bar, against my insistence that I’d changed my mind and wanted to turn back.

We sat at the counter furthest from the bathrooms, and I sat side-saddle with my back to Wreck-it. I couldn’t leave my back to open space. It just sent chills down my spine. Really, the eerily off-key atmosphere of the bar wasn’t helping. 

Like GCS, it was different. My stage had long since been disassembled, probably for good. I remembered the way the room used to look from up there, all full of red-cheeked sprites lifting their glasses and swaying to my music. Now, all I saw were sprites minding their own business, keeping their heads down, only looking up now and then to stare at me. That social, cheery, rough-and-tumble atmosphere was gone. That warm, dim light wasn’t cozy and inviting anymore. It just felt like a dark, dreary hiding hole.

It just felt like a bar. 

At least Tapper was still making an effort to be more than just some bartender.

When he saw me, his face lit up just a shade. He came up to us on the other side of the counter and spoke in a tone hushed enough to avoid drawing too much attention, a favor I was thankful for. 

“There she is, just the gal I wanted to see! Where have you been, Fireball? You had me worried, y’know.”

I didn’t appreciate his supposed concern. It just spoke to me on how blatantly obvious my rapid downward spiral was to everyone around me. They all thought I didn’t have a handle on it. I didn’t, but I didn’t want them to think that.

“Worried? About me? Pfft. Someone’s obsessed,” I weakly deflected.

Wreck-it elbowed me, nearly knocking me off my stool. I added, “And hello.”

“I mean it,” he continued. “Last I heard of anyone seein’ you, the SP was helping you limp across Game Central, and from what sprites been sayin’, you looked rough. Rough enough to make you disappear for a week, I mean, c’mon, that’s just unheard of. Seriously, Mavis, what happened? Are you… Are you really okay?”

Wreck-it cleared his throat. He thought he was helping, but he wasn’t. He just alerted Tapper that it was bad enough for me to not like being asked about it.

I sighed, and tried to pull something he would believe out of my ass. “Look, I went a little too hard on the buffs, alright? I got hooked. I admit it, I got hooked. Things got intense. I don’t remember most of it, but it was intense. The SP bled my credits dry and let me off with a heavy warning. I just… needed to take a step back for a while.”

They were quiet for a minute. I think Tapper believed me, but I’m certain Wreck-it didn’t.

Tapper nodded in a very tired, thoughtful sort of way. “Well… smart move, my friend. You may be onto somethin’. I think a whole lotta sprites could stand to step back a few paces right now.”

I rubbed my eyes. “Don’t… don’t patronize me, man.”

“Am I wrong?”

I hoped dearly for a conversation topic that wasn’t about how crappy things were going, but at the same time, I really doubted I could carry on that conversation. I was so stuck in my own head. With another deep sigh, I said, “No. You’re right. Everyone sucks. They should all try to be even half as self-aware as me. On that note, I’d love to be a little less aware right now, so, gimme a pint of the sweet stuff.”

Tapper clicked his tongue. “Yeaaah, here’s the thing. I can’t serve you.”

“Sure you can. Fill a glass with liquid and let me drink it. Easy.”

“No, Mavis,” he shook his head. “I can’t let you drink.”

“Wait, WHAT?”

“Not ‘til I know you’re back on your feet.”

“I’M--” I caught myself starting to shout, and heads were turning. Lowering my volume, I hissed, “I’m on my feet. I was never off my feet. Didn’t I just tell you I recognized my own buff problem and dealt with it? Could I do that if I was off my feet?”

He remained unswayed. “Look, girl, you know I wish you all the best. What kind of well-wisher would I be if I let you drink, knowing very well you’ve been having trouble staying sober? Knowing very well that you’re not exactly a light, casual drinker? Nah. I’m not gonna enable that.”

“Why am I even here, then?”

“‘Cause you can be. Ain’t that reason enough?”

I stared at him. That man is way too steadfast. I knew I couldn’t change his mind. “Fine, whatever. Not like I could afford it, anyway.”

“But,” he said, “I can get you some snacks if you want. On the house.”

“...Okay.”

Tapper puttered off to fetch said snacks, and got caught in a chain of sprites flagging him down for drinks. I stewed in frustration over Tapper cutting me off before I could even start, until I was rudely interrupted by Wreck-it’s massive tree-trunk of an elbow once again jutting into my back. That time, I actually did fall off.

I hissed many curses of his name and demanded to know what the hell his problem was as I got back on my stool. He glared at me and said something, but I don’t remember what. I didn’t hear him. My eyes had caught the condensation on his mug full of sweet, cold root beer dripping slowly down onto the counter. It was positively taunting me. I found it so unfair that he could have it and I couldn’t -- I wanted it more than he did. I needed to forget way more than he did. How was I supposed to just sit there while he rubbed it in my face?

His voice came back into focus. “--even listening to me?”

I lunged for his mug.

“Hey!” 

He caught me by the back of my smock and slammed me back onto my stool. “You little gremlin, did you hear a word I just said? Tapper welcomes you in here, and this is how you repay him? By being rude and trying to steal what he doesn’t want to serve you? Don’t you know he’s risking a lot letting you in here?”

“Hey, the fact that I’m out here at all is monumentally more risky for me. Don’t start with me on who’s ‘risking a lot.’”

“Wow. You really are that ungrateful, huh. Golly, kid.” He shook his head in disbelief and exercised his drinking privilege.

I groaned. “Obviously I’m grateful he let me in here.”

“How-- How is that obvious?!”

“But I don’t have to fall to my knees and kiss his shoes. Tapper knows I’m grateful. He can tell.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he sighed. “But, geez, would it kill you to say so?”

“No.” I pulled out a sketchbook to busy myself with. “I just don’t want to.”

“Unbelievable.”

Tapper returned with a bowl of pretzels. The next little while is a bit blurry to remember, but I think that’s because nothing interesting happened for some time. I munched on the pretzels, Tapper and Wreck-it had a long, broken conversation going between Tapper’s… tapping, and the other bar patrons still kept to themselves, apart from the standard stares and whispers. The next thing I remember, and the next thing worth noting, happened once there were barely a handful of pretzels left. I’d been drawing things around me in my sketchbook to keep distracted, and ended up drawing a portrait of Tapper himself. He noticed.

“Hey, wait a minute,” I heard him say. “Is that me?”

He looked so delighted and surprised when I looked over, it kind of caught me off-guard. I didn’t draw it as a gift or gesture or anything, it was just automatic. “...Yes?”

He laughed incredulously and asked to see it, so I turned and held it out for him. He was clearly enamored. I don’t think anyone had drawn him before. But, come to think of it, there aren’t that many artists around, I don’t think. Certainly no portrait artists. I had half a mind to just give it to him, and let that serve as a gesture of gratitude. 

But then, now that I was fully facing him, his eyes inevitably fell to my neck. I’d forgotten I was even wearing your things, and was horribly alarmed when I realized I was. If a sprite who hated my guts and thought I was a murderer in the making saw me wearing those? They’d have turned it into a statement, just like the fireworks. I could hardly have waved a bigger red flag -- or in this case, scarf -- than by wearing your clothes out in the open. 

Tapper, however, took no offense. The twinkle in his eyes just faded, and his moustache drooped a bit. Just like Wreck-it had, he looked like he’d just heard the most depressing news ever. And, in the same way as before, I felt naked and insulted and wanted to hide under the counter.

I did not do that. I pretended not to notice, and waited for him to give me my sketchbook back. But, instead, he looked at the portrait for a minute, and popped a question that just made my stomach roll.

“Let me buy it off ya.”

“The picture?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, “I wanna put it up somewhere.”

I thought about it.

“...No.”

“What?” He seemed genuinely perplexed. I guess he wasn’t used to me turning down credits from him. “Why not?”

I took my sketchbook back and started putting it away. I was ready to leave. I’d grown a sudden distaste for sitting there with an outrageously incriminating beacon around my neck while my trusted bartender pitied me like some helpless charity case.

“Save your pity credits, Tap, I don’t need ‘em. I get what you’re trying to do, and, yeah, you’re a real good person and all. But I’m not gonna do business with you just ‘cause you feel sorry for me.”

He rolled his huge eyes. “Mavis, for Pong’s sake. I’m not trying to jeopardize your pride, here. That drawing gave me a great idea.”

“...What?”

“I told you I want to put it up on my wall. Tell you the truth, I’ve been thinkin’ lately that the walls look pretty bare. They could stand a bit of decor. So, why don’t we fill ‘em up with some portraits?”

“...Portraits of who?”

“Eh,” he rolled his hand, “y’know, big names at first. Mario, Dig Dug, Mrs. Pac Man, and all that. But there’s lots of wall space, so I’m sure we could include a whole bunch of folks. Especially all my best customers.”

You and I used to be among his best customers. Relatively. I think my thoughts ended up clear on my face, because he gave a small sigh and lowered his tone.

“Look, Mavis. I don’t need to tell you how rough it’s been all around since the day he left us. I won’t say business has been bad, no, it’s been booming, but… for all the wrong reasons.” He gestured to the dismal, depressing atmosphere. “I don’t want my bar to just be some musty box where sprites come to drink their misery. So I’m asking you to help me out, again. It’s not going to fix anything right away, but… you know, I… can’t exactly let you play music here anymore--”

I knew that already, but hearing it out loud still stung.

“--but you could still help me make this place a bit more homey and inviting. Sprites see pictures of themselves and their friends up on the walls, they’ll feel a sense of community, I think. This is not pity. I’m genuinely askin’ if you’ll work with me on this.”

I had to admit, it was so disheartening to see Tapper’s reduced to what it was. He was right, the walls did look bare. I wasn’t sure what good my drawings would really do, but putting something up would at least make the joint look more inhabitable. I chewed my lip for a minute and stared at him.

“...How much?”

He smiled. “I’ll give you 20 for this one, and 30 a piece moving forward.”

I glanced at Wreck-it. He was looking at me expectantly, with this look in his eyes that told me just how pissed he’d be if I said no. 

Eventually, I figured there were far worse ways that someone in my situation could make a few easy credits.

“Alright, Tap. Deal.” 

I stuck my hand out, but Tapper hesitated. His voice turned serious all of a sudden, and a little sad. 

“But, listen, Mavis. Before we make a deal, you gotta promise me something.”

I paused, and rolled my eyes. Everyone loves promises. “Oh boy. What?”

“These credits are to help you look after yourself. Safely. I find you’ve been getting high with creds I gave you, the deal’s off. I need you to look me in the eye and promise me that you won’t spend these credits on buffs.”

I didn’t very much like his tone. “Tap, it’s okay, I had some time to get clean. After… the way things went, I’m steering clear of buffs for a while. It just doesn’t feel worth it anymore.”

He squinted. “I need to hear a promise.”

Of course he did. Without hesitation, I gave it to him. I looked him right in those big blue eyes swimming with misplaced trust, and lied.

“I promise.” 

He held my gaze for another few seconds, presumably looking for any trace of deceit. Apparently, he found none. He grinned and said, “Alright then! It’s a deal!”

We had a no-contact handshake, and that was that.

I decided to stick around a little while longer after all, since Tapper had stopped treating me like a sob-story. We chatted a bit more about our business plans, and he and Wreck-it talked for a while. Customers kept hailing Tapper for drinks, of course, leaving me to sit with many an awkward silence with the hulking trash gorilla. It wasn’t the most pleasant time in the world, for obvious reasons. I still felt like everyone was thinking about tying me up and taking their misplaced revenge whenever they glanced my way. But at the same time, there was a part of me just glad to be out of my game, having relatively normal conversations with Tapper. I’ll admit, I missed the guy. He doesn’t treat me like everyone else does.

But, as they so often do, the evening took a sharp turn. I’d managed to zone out for some time, the world marred by this miserable fog in my brain. I was taking a grossly inappropriate amount of time to eat a single pretzel when Tapper’s voice snapped me out of it.

“It’s gonna feel so quiet in here from now on.”

I let out a bit of a questioning noise when I jolted. Seeing him clearly, I noticed that his eyes were hovering over my neck again, sort of peering over while he quietly cleaned a glass. I also noticed that, without realizing, I had taken my glove off and started rubbing your scarf between my fingers.

So, that was mortifying.

I stopped immediately and stuffed my face with another pretzel. I just mumbled, “Yeah.”

Tapper continued, his voice just about as morose as I’d ever heard it. “It already does. Even when it’s loud, it feels quiet. All the good sounds just aren’t playing anymore. I miss the old lively spirit. I miss your music, Fireball. I miss the ruckus you two would always stir up,” he paused. “Hell, I even miss him.”

I remember suddenly feeling like I’d swallowed a rock the size of my fist. My brain was screaming to abort, to get away from the conversation before it landed somewhere I couldn’t stand to hear. But, against all logic, I stayed. I wanted to hear him out. It was the first I’d heard anyone sincerely grieve you since you left. Somehow, I felt like I’d been needing to hear it. I just hoped I could handle it.

He said, “I know that’s not exactly the most popular stance to have right now, but I do. Yeah, he was all kinds of trouble, but he was quite a character. We need big personalities like him around here. Like you, too. Makes life a little less boring. And when you two were together? Forget about it. Never a dull moment. You guys really were just… somethin’ else. Like you shared two halves of the same--”

“Tapper.”

I couldn’t handle it. I’d made a mistake. I just pushed the heel of my palm into my brow, eyes closed, trying to keep steady. Every word he said just weighed me further down.

He went quiet. I could still hear the squeak of his cloth on the mug that had been clean for the past five minutes, and I heard Wreck-it slurp his drink, emanating waves of severe discomfort. It was definitely time to go. I thought that I couldn’t stand to be there a moment longer. But I had to level out so that I wouldn’t break down on the way out. Memories were trying to worm into my head, and I was trying desperately to block them out. I wanted a freakin’ drink.

But then Tapper, the sentimental bastard, just had to say something more. Very softly, he said something that would put a second rock in my gut.

“You should have heard the way he talked about you, y’know.”

It took me a second to register what he said. I opened my eyes and stared at him, suddenly hit with a conflict that I never saw coming. Part of me didn’t want to know. Part of me wanted to crack open one of the kegs and give a second attempt to the memory purge. But the most dominant, stupidest part of me wanted to know more. Needed to know more.

“What… did you say?”

Tapper looked up from his mug to meet my stare, and gave one of the saddest, fondest looks I’ve ever seen on another sprite. We held a silence for a moment, but it was quickly broken by Wreck-it.

He put his glass down and hastily got to his feet. “O-kay, you guys keep talking, I’m just gonna…” he made vague hand gestures. “Gonna go to the bathroom.”

After he hurried off, Tapper set to wiping the counter and continued, “Yeah. I mean, on the rare occasion he wasn’t talking about himself.”

I hated how much I was trembling. “What would he say?”

“Well…” he paused in his cleaning to think for a second. “It’s not really so much… what he said, as it was the way he said it, coming from a guy like him. To the untrained ear, it wouldn’t seem like anything much. But I knew him. You knew him. He wasn’t one to hand out any kind of praise. There was certainly no one else he talked about the way he talked about you.”

Rock after rock after rock in my gut. “Why… Why are you telling me this?”

He stood straight, brows furrowed in a thoughtful way, completely oblivious to the rusty axe he was about to drop on my head.

“I dunno, I feel like you just deserve to know. I’m just sorry I gotta be the one to tell you this, rather than him. He may have had an ego bigger than the arcade will ever see again, but… if there was one sprite he cared about other than himself, it was you.”

I can’t tell you how much it hurts to write that, even now.

For a second, a split-second, there was a burst of warmth in my chest. I sort of hate to admit it, but I didn’t realize how badly I’d wanted to hear something like that. You didn’t exactly leave behind much proof that we had anything real, not that I could see. I had to rely on the rest of the arcade to show me that -- they certainly saw something worth remembering. Enough to carve your name into my skin, for Devs’ sake. For a while, that was all I had. Otherwise, everything pointed to you just ditching me without a thought. To you really not giving a crit about me in the end.

Yet here was Tapper telling me that just wasn’t the case, and that man doesn’t lie.

At first, I could barely believe it. But then, I thought, of course I could believe it. How could I have thought you never cared at all, after all we’d done together?

That’s when I turned cold. That warmth was snuffed out by ice creeping down into my guts. Those memories I’d been trying to barricade out all burst into me at once. The good things, the great things, the laughs, the thrills, the slow nights, all the reasons I hung out with you at all. It was too much. It was way, way too much.

After a brief, stunned silence, I realized I had to get out of there. But there was no way I was going to make it back to my game before coming apart. I told Tapper I’d be right back, went straight to the bathrooms, locked myself in a stall in the blessedly empty ladies’ room, and just… well...

Broke.

[pandastern]

Gravity (Bakugou x OC)

Part 2: New Girl In Town (past)

Bakugou x Vigilante!OC

Warnings: angst, explicit language, violence

Word count: 2005

Genre: enemies to lovers ; angst ; romance

When a new student makes an entrance, Bakugou has a real bad feeling. There is something about this girl that just doesnt feel right. From the flaming hair to the calculating glint in her green eyes, everything about her just pisses him off.

Little does he know that his fate is intertwined with the person he despises so much, defining his future path in a way he would have never expected.

part1

“According to the papers the principal gave me, you got in here based on recommendation from... Europe?”

“Yes, sir,” Artemis answered as she followed her new home room teacher.

Shouta Aizawa was indeed a very successful pro hero, but despite his reputation as Eraser Head, he sure was one weird fellow.

If she hadn't known better, she would have taken him for some homeless person. The yellow atrocity he called a sleeping bag wasn't really working in his favour here though, she thought to herself.

Not that it really mattered, she supposed. After all, appearance wasn't always important. Unless, of course, you knew how to use it in your favour.

“Interesting. The semester has already started, though. Why do you think you can show up later in the course than anyone else? Just because you're an exchange student doesn't mean you get special treatment.” Aizawa's voice cut through her train of thought.

The slight edge to his tone didn't go unnoticed to Artemis.

“The transfer process took a little longer than it should have done. I also had an injury that needed to heal first,” she replied with a shrug. “I was told by the head office it wouldn't be a problem. I don't expect special treatment, sir. I'm more than capable of pulling my weight in class.”

Artemis understood that in this school, teachers made the rules. This kind of tyranny prepared each student differently for their eventual goal: to become a pro hero. Not that she was interested in that. Being a hero nowadays was nothing more than a job. Congrats, you could use your quirk, but at what cost? She wondered how many students were aware of all the restrictions that had been put in place for people like them.

“Do you, now? Your confidence is admirable, but let's see if your actions actually match your words,” the teacher scoffed.

Narrowing her eyes, Artemis studied the man in front of her. Hobo aesthetic or not, there was a danger that lurked beneath the surface, and she'd be a fool to underestimate him.

“All right, class, get in your seats and shut your traps. We've got a new student here with us today,” Aizawa said, kicking open the ridiculously large classroom door. “Ms Moon, introduce yourself quickly and take a seat. I've got a lesson to teach.”

The entire class of 1A perked up. A new student? That was something almost unheard of. Katsuki Bakugou let out a scoff. Another extra in this class. Great. He tore his crimson eyes from the window and looked towards the front of the class.

A girl stepped in. She was rather short for his taste (not that he had a particular taste in women – that was a fucking waste of time). Her long hair was tied up in a ponytail and was coloured... several shades of red. He had to admit he'd never seen such a strange colour combination. Red, auburn, ginger and bright orange ran through her hair, making it look as though her head were literally on fire. Was that a hairdressers' appointment gone wrong? Or had she really been born with hair like that?

Not that he cared, obviously.

Turning towards the class, the girl bowed politely and surveyed the room. Big, luminous, emerald eyes fell on Katsuki, sending a chill down his spine.

What the fuck?

“Hello,” she said. The accent in her Japanese was prominent, though not in a way that made him cringe as it did with so many foreigners, he had to admit.

“My name is Artemis Moon and I've transferred here from a school in Europe. I look forward to working with you all.”

It took just those few words to make the hair on the back of Katsuki's head stand. Something about this girl was... wrong. Again, those creepy catlike eyes met his, and the corners of her lips curved slightly upwards. Katsuki was quick to decide – he already hated her. From the way her posture was as straight as a goddamn soldier's to the calculating glint in her freaky eyes, everything about her just flat-out pissed him off.

He could hear Kaminari and Mineta high fiving each other in the back as the girl, Artemis, moved through the rows and took a seat between Uraraka and the pink girl whose name he'd already forgotten again. She smiled as she made exchanged a few words with them. This seemed normal enough, even though Katsuki could clearly see that the beaming smile this Artemis gave her classmates never truly reached her creepy eyes. How did no-one else notice that?

Morning classes were surprisingly unspectacular for Artemis' taste. Stuff like English wasn't too hard for her, but maths in Japanese was just murder. She'd already figured that as a foreigner, she'd have some sort of problem in that department.

At lunchtime, a very cute, bubbly girl named Ochako Uraraka took Artemis by the sleeve and practically dragged her to the cafeteria. Not that she particularly minded. Artemis was grateful at being introduced to her classmates in this friendly manner. It was a nice group, she found, easy to talk to and get along with.

“Say, Artemis,” a rather outgoing girl with pink skin named Mina (if she remembered correctly) asked. "How do you like UA so far? Is it better than your old school in Europe?”

“Well,” Artemis said, taking a bite from her tempura shrimp, “It's... different. UA High really does have a different standard. The students are nicer, too!”

She gave her new friends a wink.

“In my old class, everyone was constantly at each other's throats. That was because you got kicked from the course if you don't produce the right results.”

“What?!” Izuku Midoriya gasped. “That sounds horrible! What if you were having a bad day?”

“It wasn't as bad as that. But if you failed several times in a row, well, you were fucked.” Artemis shrugged.

The conversation moved along to where she was from exactly and what her family was doing. She made sure her answers were satisfactory but still vague. Neither topic was something she particularly liked to talk about. She hadn't made her way all the way to Japan to be reminded of the shithole she had come from, that was for sure.

As the conversation shifted back to the upcoming classes, Artemis suddenly felt someone's eyes burning into the back of her head. She turned and noticed the same boy from today's class sitting behind her. He'd been staring at her before, when she had introduced herself. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was plotting her death.

“Uhm...” She tapped Uraraka's shoulder. “What's his problem?”

Ochako followed her gesture to the ash blond boy sending a murder stare in her direction.

“Oh. That's Katsuki Bakugou.” She looked a little worried. “He's... something else.”

Raising a brow, Artemis turned to look at Mr Grumpy Pants again. She had the urge to go over and tell him that a picture of her might have lasted longer, but starting an unnecessary fight on her first day seemed like a stupid thing to do.

Suddenly, Bakugou shot up and stomped over to her. Did he have a mind reading quirk or something?

He stopped in front of her and glared down, lips pulling into a snarl. “I don't know who you are, but don't you dare get any fucking stupid ideas. You ain't special just cause you're from Europe or an exchange student. I'm the best person here and I'll stomp your ass into the fucking ground, so don't even try! Fucking loser!” Every word that came from his mouth dripped with arrogance and venom.

Wow, Artemis thought. What an absolute ass. Was he trying to intimidate her? She felt Midoriya shrink some sizes next to her and that told her everything she needed to know about this dick.

She put on her sweetest smile and beamed at Bakugou. “Hello, Artemis! Nice to meet you. My name is Grumpy McTwatface,” she purred in a sickly sweet tone. “Hello, Grumpy McTwatface! How can I help you?” She held out a hand and shook it with her other in a mocking handshake.

Across the table, Kaminari and Mina snorted into their soda glasses. A vein popped up in Bakugou's temple, throbbing dangerously.

“What the fuck did you just say? I'm gonna fucking kill you!” he roared.

Was he being serious? Right here in the cafeteria? Artemis couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Oh, boy. You have a pretty temper there, my man.”

The vein on his temple grew. This shouldn't be as fun as it was. She really shouldn't provoke an obviously short-tempered twat on her first day, but she'd never been good at resisting temptation. Especially if Bakugou's reaction was so damn rewarding.

Artemis turned towards her new friend and sighed deeply. “You know, I spent a summer in France once. My Brother and I still had some firecrackers left over from New Year. He dared me to stick them into those portable potties they have on construction sites, and since both of us were particularly bored, I lit them and did just that.” She gave Bakugou a side glance and continued nonchalantly, “The end product of that little joke reminds me particularly of you... Katsuki Bakugou, was it? A flaming pile of shit.”

He was fuming. Artemis could practically feel the rage radiating off him. The scent of nitroglycerin hung in the air.

Bakugou's hand shot forward, grabbing a fistful of her blouse and ripping her out of her seat onto her feet.

“I'm gonna blow you to bits,” he hissed.

She really shouldn't have risen to it. Artemis knew she should do her best to diffuse the situation. She knew that provoking this guy and making an enemy was a very stupid move. But something about him just asked for it.

“I highly doubt that,” she purred with a smirk. “Barking dogs don't bite.”

Artemis could see her own death in his eyes. Maybe it should have scared her, but the kind of life she'd lived up to this point had made her too destructive to fear for her own safety. His rage pushed her further. There was a thrill in this back and forth that she couldn't explain.

Before Bakugou could respond, the sound of a loud bell cut through the loud noise of chattering students in the cafeteria. Using this distraction, Artemis tore herself from his hands and grabbed her bag off her seat.

“Well, this was nice!” she chirped. “Shall we go?” She turned towards her new friends, who'd been watching the altercation with a mixture of astonishment and worry. Izuku, especially, looked afraid for her life.

“Don't think I'll let you off easy. I'll kick your ass in combat training!” Bakugou snarled at her before turning and stomping off.

“Good lord, that man needs a chill pill,” Mina sighed. “You should be careful, Artemis. If you provoke him too much, he'll go off on you.”

“Oh, I'm counting on it,” Artemis chuckled.

“All right, kids! Time for combat training.” Aizawa's somewhat bored voice echoed through the training grounds.

Artemis stood with her classmates in a little group as the teacher explained the rules of today's activity. His eyes remained glued to her. Something in Artemis' gut told her Aizawa was planning something she wouldn't appreciate. Maybe that was revenge for giving him lip earlier. She sighed and tugged on the jacket of her sports uniform. For a tracksuit, it was rather constricting. She preferred to have her arms bare. Oh well...

Feeling the burn of two crimson eyes on her, she shifted her attention towards Bakugou. He was staring again, shooting daggers at her. Guess she really had pissed him off big time.

“Artemis Moon!!

“Huh?” Artemis hadn't even noticed Aizawa had addressed her. “Yes?”

“I would appreciate it if you paid attention in my class.” The teacher raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “You and Bakugou, into the ring, now.”

Well, damn.

[hollandroos]

Everyone’s in love (but you and me)

Summary: Everyone at your best friends wedding seems to be in love. But you and Tom.

Words: 2892

Warnings: This is all just fluff, please enjoy and remember to send feedback/reblog if you enjoyed it!

This is a piece for a writing challenge!! (wow, Sophie actually posts for one of the many, many writing challenges she entered? unheard of!) it’s for @marvelousxtsh and @peeterparkr romcom writing challenge. the quote is “Number of current boyfriends: Zero.“ from Bridget jones’ diary 

Nothing about weddings were fun for Tom, who was so used to being alone that he was hardly phased when he ended up sitting alone at the table with a creaseless table cloth beneath his untouched expensive wedding food. He’d barely even lifted the fork, only choosing to glance briefly at his reflection to make sure his hair was still in place and there was nothing caught between his teeth.

It wasn’t that he was used to being alone. It was just that he wasn’t used to having someone's hand to hold or hair to wrap around his fingers. He had long forgotten what it was like to have someone tangled up between his sheets as the sun streams in through the slit in the curtains and plush lips to kiss when his got bored.

He only knew what it was like to have temporary lovers who escaped before dawn, throwing on items of clothing back to front or inside out and wiping off the remains of their smudged lipstick. 

Tom was so used to relying on one night stands for the slightest bit of intimacy that the sight of the loved up couples around him made him screw his face up. Even if deep down inside, he was itching to have someone to hold too – someone that wasn’t his dog who enjoyed snuggling up beside him at night.

Some guests were drunk on the alcohol, barely letting their champagne glasses run empty while others were love drunk. Sipping solely on gentle sways in the centre of the ballroom, consumed with the thought and presence of the other.

Tom swirls the liquid around in his glass, alcohol still staining his tongue but he was nowhere near drunk. He hated being drunk – being as unaware of his actions as could be and the last place you’d find him utterly wasted would be his best friends wedding. And when he had to do a heartfelt, humorous speech too? The last of the liquor in his glass would remain untouched for the majority of the evening.

Romance paints the room, with shades of red scattered at every angle. 

Red, the most romantic colour. It stood for love, passion, intimacy. But it also stood for anger, frustration. There were pictures of the newlyweds surrounding the large tent, some Tom swore he’d never seen despite having known the couple for nearly ten years now.

Across the room you sit on one of the wooden chairs, beaming as you watch with stars in your eyes as your best friend sways left and right, a smile that could reach the Caribbean highlighting her features. Others danced, some giggled over overflowing drinks. 

You twiddle your thumbs. That sounded so pathetic. You were at a wedding for christ sake – twiddling your thumbs as if that were the most interesting thing to do right now. Your eyes would land on dancing, cheerful couples for a couple of seconds before they’d land back on your plate that looked like it’d been licked clean.

You had to be the only person without a date to this darn thing, having found conversation with a couple of the elderly women so you didn’t look like an absolute loser at this thing but still, you found yourself alone at the table while everyone else made basked in the presence of another, wrapping themselves up in each other's arms until they were no more then a mess of tangled limbs.

Your foot taps against the floor, heel remaining on the transferable flooring. The first mistake you’d made tonight was wearing heels to an outdoor wedding. The heel sunk into the sludge, brown muck sticking to the bottoms. But you weren’t one to allow a little mud to ruin your night! No way.

How could you when you were wearing the most beautiful lavender dress, with silver jewellery adorning your neck and wrist. Sure, there was no diamond ring hugging your ring finger like the one your best friend had been gifted and maybe your parents had expressed their disappointment that their twenty-five-year-old daughter was still living alone – something that had you feeling mildly perplexed. (because you’re only twenty-five. How were you meant to settle down when you couldn’t even figure out what ready-made meal you wanted for dinner?)

The song comes to an end and you force your painted lips into a grin, clapping your hands together. Crowds cheer in joy. Your heart aches from hidden loneliness.

No one leaves the dance floor just yet, feet remaining planted on the tarmac. Maybe they were too lost in each other to be bothered by the voice that begs them to take a sip of water or to finally consume the meals that sit around each table.

Love. Maybe you craved the feeling of being in love after being alone for so long. You, a hopeless romantic who had watched nearly every romcom on Netflix twice desired it below small ‘I’m okay on my own!’s’ 

Maybe you just wanted to enjoy dessert without pitiful whispers being shared about the one girl sitting alone.

You roll your eyes, reminding yourself that they called it falling in love for a reason.

Tapping your foot and pursing your lips, your eyes roam around the room hoping for an escape before they find someone who just like you, was enjoying the company of themselves.

He was cute, really. With slicked back brown hair and a suit that perfectly hugged his form. It was probably one of those not too expensive rental ones and maybe... just like your dress that made you feel like some kind of Disney princess, it had to be returned on Monday.

If you were really a Disney Princess then you’d most likely have a prince by now.

Nothing can stop you from getting up, straightening out the bottom of your above knee length dress and heading over to him in the heels. Not even the doubts that plague your mind although they were strong and tempting to give in to.

What if he has a girlfriend and she’s just gone to the bathroom? Or a boyfriend!

What if he’s an ass?

What if he hates me?

“Do you want to dance?”

You ask before you can give in to the magnitude od doubts – slipping your bottom lip between your teeth. You chew softly, pursing them when the stranger looks up.

Tom gives you a confused grin, brown eyes the colour of the coffees you sip on every morning with a thin layer of foam and cinnamon. Maybe it was the lighting that painted the walls of the large tent but you saw galaxies – beautiful arrays of stars. 

One second he was poking around at his food, glaring at his own reflection in the fork and the next he was looking at you.

“Sorry, what?” He cocks his head. Tom squints his eyes, trying to make out the endless details and decorations that rest in your hair under the light – from the sequenced bobby pins that hold your hair back and the small patterns on the waist of the dress.

He knew you. You had walked down the aisle with a bouquet of flowers in your hands while Tom stood at the front of the alter tapping his feet. The room had been thick with comments about your dress and your makeup before the bride stepped out. Both of which were nothing less then perfect and while Tom knew shit all about makeup and fashion, he couldn’t disagree.

You had shone, practically glowed. And all Tom knew was that you were one of the brides closest friends. Someone his best mate had probably bought up in a conversation or two.

“I’m asking you to dance with me. I know that if I don’t get at least one dance in at my best friends wedding I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, and truth be told I’m sick of looking like a loser by myself. And it looks to me like you don’t have anyone to dance with too.” You huff, sticking a hand out. “So, will you please dance with me?”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend or something? Everyone else here seems to be in love.” Tom furrows his brows and you begin to regret your decision to demand the stranger to dance. 

Suddenly you want to curl up back into your shell and wallow in endless embarrassment.

“Number of current boyfriends: Zero.“ You huff. “Look, It took a lot for me to come over here and ask you to dance and I’m really starting to regret it.”

Tom smiles at how assertive you are, though you’re quietly pleading with your eyes for him to hurry up and take your hand.

“Only if you promise you don’t bite.” He jokes, slipping his hand into yours. “I’m Tom, by the way.”

You grin, swallowing the embarrassment that had previously sent you into a fit of nausea. Large, calloused fingers intertwine with your own and the palm of his hand is slightly cold – you blame the glass of champagne he’d carried around all night and lead the best man onto the dance floor where couples make way, slipping aside with ease.

“I know, you’re the best man. Y/F/N mentioned you a few times and I’ve seen photos.” The tune shifts as the song changes and a familiar beat begins. Your head is reeling, being so close to an utter stranger had you doubting whether or not you’d be able to pull out your best moves and not end up looking like a fool. But Elton Johns voice soothes you, sending waves of reassurance throughout you.

“I’m Y/N.” You finally say.

“So I have a fan club, huh?” Tom teases.

“Not all the things I’ve heard have been good but I will say, you sound like quite the charmer.”

Nothing else is said as your hand slips out of his. Lonely fingers dance their way to his collar before they wrap around his neck, intertwining at the back. Tom hesitates before letting his hands rest on either side of your waist. He hardly lets them rest, allowing his fingertips to merely ghost over the fabric.

Is he too high? Too low? Were you regretting your decisions?

I hope you don’t mind

That I put into words

How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

The song oozes romance. It was one not meant to be shared between two lonely twenty-something-year-olds who just happened to stumble together for the first time ever but couples long in love. Much like the newlyweds who sway with smiles adorning tired faces and the couple next to you who had been married thirty-four years.

The thought hardly crosses your mind as you and Tom begin to rock back and forth, both attempting to find a pace that fit. It’s a little awkward ad you both stumble once or twice. Tom chokes for a moment before regaining himself and you can’t stop your laced hands from resting over his gell covered curls at the back of his head. It’s intimate and neither of you says a word for a moment – Tom doesn’t even mention the realisation that had him smiling softly.

While your dress is a gorgeous lavender, you smell like a hypnotizing combination of strawberries and wedding cake.

And maybe you like the feeling of having another human so close, you still felt his presence in the palm of your hands.

You glance at him, mascara painted lashes batting together. “This isn’t so bad. Better then sitting alone, is it?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Tom replies quickly, hasty eyes racing around the room before they land back on your face. Your features fall, hurt and uncertainty filling your eyes and Tom realises that what he said could’ve possibly come out wrong. “I didn’t mean it like that – I mean, I don’t dance. I don’t know how. I kind of suck at slow dancing.”

“You’re doing great so far, I could hardly tell.”

Hesitantly, you allow your head to rest on the stranger's shoulder and even from there you can feel the unsteady beating of his heart. You barely feel the boy gulp, swallowing back his nerves. Tom felt like he was back at his high school prom, nervously trying to dance with the girl he’d asked over a cupcake and a bouquet of flowers.

He had stepped on her toes more times then he could count that night and left the dance alone.

Closing his eyes for a second, Tom tries to think up a sentence that won’t make him sound like an absolute weirdo. Opening his eyes, they find a bouquet of orange feathers and Tom snorts.

“Have you seen that ridiculous hat the bride's aunt is wearing?” Tom asks suddenly, speaking over the lyrics to mock the set of orange frills.

You chuckle, vibrating against his black suit. “She wore that to their Christmas dinner too – and thanksgiving. The colour kind of reminds me of carrots… or orange soda.”

Tom stifles his laughs, fingers tightening their grip slightly around your waist. Just to the point where you can now feel his fingertips through the lavender dress.

“It’s like candy corn.” Tom chuckles, “I used to only eat candy corn every year for Halloween when I was a kid, you know?”

You try not to chuckle, focusing on the hands on your waist and the heavy beating of your heart. You fit so perfectly, inching together like two pieces of a puzzle. You almost hate how warm he makes you feel.

“I hated candy corn,” You tell him, “Even now I can’t stand the stuff, I guess I just enjoy savoury foods more. I always get a sore stomach after eating sweet foods.”

Tom hums, his wandering thoughts telling him that this was exactly what he needed. Not wanted, because Tom wouldn’t admit to wanting bucketloads of affection. He wouldn’t admit to craving the feeling of bare hands resting on his shoulders and warm breath in the crook of his neck.

But here he was, melting under the touch of a near stranger.

Melting was a bit of an overstatement. His heart was in a frenzy, mind positively, absolutely reeling.

The lyrics worm their way into his head, Elton Johns heavenly voice pulling him down to earth and closer to the girl in his arms. All he knew was her name and the fact that maybe he’d just found his soulmate.

Maybe Tom was being overdramatic about the whole soulmate thing – but he wasn’t one to fall head over heels every girl he runs into. But in you, Tom saw potential. Potential that he could grow weak at the knees on your first date and maybe he’d allow his cheeks to turn a soft shade of pink as he mutters compliments across the dinner table.

“Have you ever danced like this with someone before?” Tom asks, speaking softly so only you can hear. It’s not like anyone else was listening in any way – everyone except the groom and bride who smirked knowingly at one another.

“Not really, no.” You respond, trying to think back to a time you’d swayed like this with merely the top of the tent separating you from an array of stars.

“You’re really good.” And I’d like to do this again.

“Thank you,” You speak, head resting on his shoulder. You hope you’re not getting makeup on his suit – but you also hope that Tom is aware of the fact that his heart is beating way too fast and that may be dangerous. “You’re pretty good for a beginner.”

You both continue to sway as the song comes to a close, both secretly hoping that the song could somehow extend itself and you could just remain there for a few more moments

The lyrics would be stuck in your head for days, as well as the feel of being cuddled close and the shallow breathes slipping past your dance partners lips. In fact, from being so close to him you’d learnt that Toms breath was minty… like he’d somehow had the chance to chew on an eclipse mint in between meals.

The tune is drowned out by the cheers of the crowd and you hesitantly remove your head from his chest, brushing away strands of hair that had chosen to stick to the side of your face during the dance.

“This is going to sound really stupid but I know we just met like… three minutes ago but, will I see you again?” Tom asks, quirking a brow. A hand still remained on your waist, nimble fingers barely ghosting over the fabric of your lavender bridesmaid dress. The one you had promised to return to the store by twelve o’clock on Monday.

“You’re the best man, correct?” You reply. I want to see you again too.

Tom nods, brown curls falling over his forehead. “Correct.”

“So you’re staying in the hotel they assigned us?” You were unsure if your next set of words came out as a suggestion or not. But it didn’t matter all that much. “I’m staying in room 302, I’ll see you at breakfast. Maybe sooner if fate allows it.”

“P-Perfect.” He coughs, cheeks turning a peachy shade of pink. “Perfect.”

Tell me what you thought! + My writing ♡

Tagging mutuals: @keepingupwiththeparkers  @mcuspidey @spiderboytotherescue @spiderrrling @naturallytom @screamholland @bi-writes  @neptuneparker 

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[katahnisharma]

the press tour [9] | t.h.

Word Count: 5.4 K

Warnings: lmaoo I cannot write choreography

Summary: You’re a new, inexperienced actress plucked from the obscurity of everyday life to play the lead in the reboot of a famous British Jane Austen novel, and Tom Holland just so happens to be playing your love interest.

A/N: Here it is, the Lip Sync Chapter, sorry it took so long! I may be taking a break next week because school is starting, but we’ll see. Also Tumblr apparently won’t let me link things so if you’re looking for my masterlist, playlist, taglist (closed), or writing challenge it’s in my bio ♡

“Y/N! Come on, get up!” Someone threw a pillow and it landed on your head. You startled awake, groaning when the curtains were pulled back. Bailey was standing by your bed, ripping the covers from your body. You winced at the contact with the cool air, and nearly screamed when you realized there were multiple people standing in your bedroom.

“Oh my god! Why are there people in my room?” You squeaked, drawing the covers up to your chest self consciously. You were wearing clothes, but you suddenly felt very naked. Bailey sighed, sitting down next to you.

“Y/N, it’s Lip Sync Battle day. D-day remember?” She said, and then it dawned on you. Today was the day. Your eyes widened, as you remembered the million things you needed to do.

“Crap, I was supposed to get up early to get ready. What time is it, where are my clothes?” You sat up frantically, ignoring Bailey’s eyes rolling at you. The group of people were situated around the foot of your bed, assessing you and whispering to each other.

“That’s what they’re here for. They’re going to help you get ready, do your makeup and everything.” Bailey said, and one of the women came forward with your first outfit. It was a sparkly rainbow jumpsuit, with a pair of butterfly heels. You had been very careful to pick a pair of shoes that looked good but were also comfortable since you were going to be dancing for a while.

“Shall we start, ma’am?” The woman asked, signalling to her team to start unpacking their equipment. You nodded silently, not sure what else to say. The crew kicked into high gear, rushing around with cases of makeup and hair products. One woman brought out a short blonde wig and handed it to you. Bailey got up and patted your shoulder.

“I’ll wait outside. You’ve got three hours.”

Tom hadn’t slept a wink all night. He was preoccupied with thoughts of you. Everytime he tried to sleep, Tom began to dream of you. He’d wake up and then you were gone, as though it was a mirage. It was driving him mad.

“All good in here?” Harrison called, sticking his head into the room. Tom was putting on his flannel and his brown tassel jacket. Sure he looked ridiculous, but that was the point. Harrison wandered in and took a long look at Tom.

“Wow, that’s some outfit.” He snickered, feeling one of the tassels. Tom rolled his eyes, not in the mood to snap back. He was tired and upset from the events of yesterday. David almost couldn’t get him to stop crying, it was like once he started the waterworks wouldn’t stop. He felt so idiotic, sitting there pining for you when he was the one who had screwed it all up in the first place. And now there were pictures of Adrian in jewelry stores, and it made him nervous. Maybe he was buying a ring to propose, it wouldn’t be unheard of. Tom wanted to throw something at the wall, anything to relieve the pain.

All he wanted was you. But he couldn’t have you, and it was his own fault.

“Fuck off.” Tom growled, pushing past him. Harrison frowned, watching Tom disappear into the bathroom and come back with a cowboy hat. If it had been under different circumstances, Harrison would have laughed. But after seeing the way Tom was, he decided against it.

“Mate, what’s wrong?” He asked while Tom stared at himself in the mirror. Tom closed his eyes, trying to calm down. But then he saw you and he blinked them open. God, he just couldn’t escape you.

“Nothing. It’s fine,” Tom whispered, wiping away a stray tear. Harrison came to stand behind him, turning Tom around. His eyes were red and Harrison could see the bags under his eyes. He looked like hell, and Harrison knew why.

“When are you just going to ask her?” Harrison asked, and Tom stormed past him. He stuffed his phone in his pocket, ignoring Harrison completely.

“Can we just leave, we’re going to be late?” Tom said, grabbing his bag. Samual was waiting outside with the car, and he was a stickler for punctuality. But Harrison knew his best friend was going through something, and he was going to find out what.

“For God’s sake Tom, just tell her what you saw. Tell her how you feel, before Adrian decides to take the next step!” Harrison pleaded, and Tom whirled around. He was seeing red, not for his friend, but for himself. Harrison was right, it was all on him to fix this. But he didn’t know how.

“I can’t, Haz! What am I going to say? I was looking at your phone and I never told you? Or how about this whole thing with Zendaya is fake, a publicity stunt so that I can get over you? And look how that’s worked out, because I’m still in love with you and you’re dating someone else? It’s over! I had my chance and I blew it, she’ll never forgive me!” Tom shouted, chucking his bag at the wall. Harrison sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Y/N deserves an explanation, whatever it is. You take her on a date, act cold, and then rebound with Zendaya? God knows what she must have thought, and I know she’s still upset because I’ve seen the tweets. You need to tell her something, I don’t care what it is. She’s my friend too.” Harrison finished, not really sure where all that had come from. He loved Tom, but he loved you too. It hurt him to see his best friends like this, when they should have all been together.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to her today, after the show.” Tom said, and that was all he was going to say. Harrison followed him out of the house, trying to match his pace. But Tom was fast, wanting for the first time to get away from Harrison and his questions.

Because he was right. And that really bothered him.

“Well, I think you’re ready.” One of the makeup artists handed you a mirror, and you gasped.

Thank God Bailey had called them in, because there was no way you’d ever have been able to replicate anything close to this. Your skin was flawless, dusted with a light shade of pink glitter on your cheeks. Your eyelids were done in a blend of pink, scarlet, and orange, like a painted sunset. Thivya, the woman who did the majority of your makeup, had swatched your lips in a glinty soft pink, blended in with a bit of purple.

“Wow, it’s incredible! Thank you so much!” You squealed, tilting the mirror at different angles. With the sparkly jumpsuit and your butterfly heels, you definitely looked the part. For the first time in days, you began to feel much more confident. This was yours to win, you could feel it.

“All good in here?” Bailey asked, waltzing in with her clipboard. She stopped dead in her tracks, a whistle leaving her lips. You spun around, the sequins catching the light. The crew clapped a little, and Bailey took a video for your instagram.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s go nail this thing!”

The stage was set, the lights were on, and you were sweating in your dressing room backstage. You had your crew with you, Bailey, Adrian, your mother whom you hadn’t seen in weeks, and it was the only thing keeping you sane. There were hundreds of people screaming your name not a hundred meters from you, and your nerves were kicking in.

“Hey, you’re going to do amazing.” Adrian said, taking your hand while you paced the room. You smiled at him, grateful for the support. You knew he had a project he was filming, and him coming to see you meant a lot. Your mother liked him too, which was obviously a plus. Bailey was talking to someone on the phone, waving her hands around like she was frazzled.

Which she was, but she’d never tell you that.

“Thanks, I’m just so nervous. I’ve never danced in front of so many people, not to mention the millions watching at home. And Tom was incredible last time, I don’t know how I’m going to compete with him.” You said, picking at your dress. Even now, you had no idea what songs he’d picked and it was making you frustrated. You had no idea what you were going up against.

“So? Tom may have won last time but there’s no guarantee he’ll do it again. You’ve been practicing for weeks, don’t sell yourself short.” Adrian replied, getting you to finally stop moving. Fidgeting was your defense mechanism, but you knew that if you wanted to do well you’d need to calm down. Your mother nodded, drinking her cup of coffee silently.

“He’s right, honey. You need to calm down, it’s going to be fine.” She said, putting the cup down. She crossed the room and came to stand in front of you. With a sigh, you melted into her arms, hugging her tightly. She still smelled like lavender, that perfume she’d worn since you were a kid.

“Y/N? Showtime, babe.” Bailey called, opening the door for you. Adrian gave you a hug, your mother joining in as you followed your assistant out the door and to the stage.

“Damn, that’s some outfit.” Zendaya laughed, dodging a water bottle Tom threw in her direction. Harrison chuckled too, stealing Tom’s cowboy hat and trying it on. As he had expected, the hat looked ridiculous on him too. Tom groaned, regretting asking his best friend and fake girlfriend to be his support group.

“Stop, you’re hurting my feelings.” He grumbled, taking the hat back and smoothing down his hair. Zendaya rolled her eyes, scrolling through her instagram as Harrison helped Tom with last minute adjustments. The actress looked up, a wicked smile on her face.

“Well, at least Lil Nas X will notice you this time. I mean, how could he not?” She giggled, taking a video for her story. Tom laughed, whirling around to flash a smile at the camera. Harrison was about to protest, saying that Lil Nas X was way too cool for Tom, when the door opened.

“Tom? You’re on in two minutes.” Samual said, poking his head in.

“Shit, how do I look?” Tom asked, feeling his old nerves return. He shouldn’t be this anxious, but he had no idea what you had planned. Sure, Tom had won the battle before, but everyone loves an underdog.

And you were a really pretty one.

“Stupid, but that was already a given.” Zendaya said, and Tom flipped her off. Harrison took a look and felt confident that Tom looked as good as he was going to.

“You’re fine, just go out there and do your best. And don’t forget to talk to Y/N after, I mean it. “ Harrison said, straightening the hat a little. Tom nodded, smoothing down his tan leather jacket. Zendaya looked up from her phone, suddenly interested in the conversation.

“What are you going to say?” she asked, looking confused.

“I’m going to apologize for everything, it wasn’t fair to her. I won’t tell her about this obviously, but she deserves an explanation.” Tom said, and Zendaya agreed. She liked you and knowing that the whole thing hurt you made her upset. You didn’t deserve that, nobody did.

“Good, I want us all to be friends. Y/N is sweet and good and I like her wayyyy more than you.” Zendaya said, returning back to her phone. Tom sighed, giving Harrison a pointed look.

“Everyone does apparently.”

You stood behind the curtain, your palms so sweaty you were glad you didn’t have to pole dance. Bailey stood next to you, talking to the coordinator to make sure everything was set up. You saw LL Cool J somewhere, but you were too nervous to say anything. Chrissy Teigen had already introduced herself, and after you had found your voice you introduced yourself too. She had apparently been following the press tour and thought you were adorable.

Which must count for something, since it’s Chrissy Teigen.

“You good?” Bailey asked, breaking you out of your reverie. You smiled and nodded, lying through your teeth. She smiled and waved over LL Cool J, who gave you an enthusiastic hug.

“How you doing, kid?” He asked, shaking your hand firmly. You told him you were excited to do this, which was only partially a lie. He wished you luck, and before you knew it he was gone and through the curtain. There was a partial silence, before you heard him tell the crowd to get ready for you and Tom.

“Hey.” You turned and realized Tom was standing next to you, wearing the most ridiculous outfit you’d ever seen. He looked at you and internally screamed. You looked so gorgeous, and all he wanted to do was fall on his knees and beg forgiveness. Momentarily you forgot to be mad at him and burst out laughing. He groaned as you fell on the floor, trying to cover your mouth.

“Oh. My. God. You look so stupid!” You giggled, wiping tears from your eyes. Tom smirked, trying not to laugh with you. You stood up, biting your lip to keep from making any more noise. Bailey was eyeing the two of you suspiciously, hoping you wouldn’t kill each other before the battle started.

“Shut up, it’s part of my dance. I’m supposed to be Lil Nas X.” He said, watching your jaw drop. If he was Lil Nas X, did that mean…….

“Wait, YOUR SONG IS OLD TOWN ROAD?!” You asked, and Tom went red. You almost had a heart attack, realizing that you had to go up against Tom dancing to Old Town Road. This whole thing could end up being a bloodbath.

“Yep, my trainer said it would be a good idea since it’s so popular. What are you supposed to be, a unicorn?” Tom asked, looking you up and down. You blushed, realizing that the jumpsuit was a little shorter than you thought.

“No, I’m Taylor Swift. I’m doing You Need To Calm Down.” You said, checking to make sure your heels hadn’t loosened. Tom silently cursed himself, Taylor Swift was always a crowd favorite. He was suddenly wondering if he might lose his title this time.

“What’s wrong, afraid to lose in front of your adoring fans?” You teased, watching Tom shake his head. You felt more confident now, and you were ready to be cocky. Tom snorted at your remark, forming a comeback.

“No, but I’d get as many people to comfort you when you do. Even the other guy, the one before Adrian.” Tom said, happy to get you squirming. You quirked an eyebrow, wondering what Tom meant.

“What do you mean other-?” The curtain opened before you could finish, and LL Cool J and Chrissy Teigen stood there motioning you forward. You plastered on a smile, walking out with Tom to center stage.

“Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N everyone!” The crowd cheered as Tom bowed and you curtsied. There were flashing lights everywhere, cameras taking photos of the two of you. It was almost too much, but then you remembered what you came here to do.

Bury this guy.

“So, who’d like to go first?” Chrissy asked, looking at the two of you. The crowd was silent, watching you and Tom. Tom smirked, gesturing to you.

“Ladies first.” He said, grinning as you rolled your eyes. LL Cool J handed you the microphone, and you cocked your head to the side. The crowd was hooting, but you weren’t going to let him get away so easily.

“Please, let’s see what you got. Unless you’re afraid I’ll upstage you?” You said, laughing when the crowd went wild. People were whistling and oohing, and Tom couldn’t help but chuckle. You looked so cute when you were being competitive.

“Fine, I’ll go first. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He said, brushing past you and making goosebumps rise on your skin. You shivered and walked off to the side with LL Cool J and Chrissy, taking a stand while Tom got ready. Zendaya was behind you and you waved, which she returned. The place went dark and your breath hitched, not sure what Tom would do.

Then the backing track began to play, and the crowd went nuts.

There was Tom, dressed in his cowboy outfit and holding a lasso. You stifled a laugh, when the lights behind him burst on revealing his backup dancers dressed as horses. You could hear Harrison die behind you, and Adrian cheered next to you.

What a clown.

The crowd cheered as Tom tilted his hat, cracked the lasso, and sprung into his routine. It was insane, watching him dance. It was both amazing and the cringiest thing you’d ever seen. The audience was lapping it up, even you were enjoying it. The way he moved was hypnotic, and you caught yourself staring at his butt in chaps a few too many times.

What are you doing? Get a grip!

Your face flushed, realizing Adrian was standing next to you and holding your hand. Tom kept looking over at you two, his face falling slightly when he noticed how close you were. He was trying so hard to nail the routine, but he was getting distracted by you. One of the background dancers lifted him up and helped him crowd surf, throwing his hat into the crowd at a screaming fan. When he got back on the stage, Tom decided to do something on the spur of the moment.

He waltzed up to you, pulled you by the waist and brought you close to him. His eyes pierced through your own, and he looked down at your lips. For a moment, you both just stood there breathing softly, and then Tom smirked and was gone leaving you breathless. Adrian fumed behind you, but he put on a good show for the camera.

You on the other hand just stood there, like a deer in the headlights. The music was still playing, but it was like you couldn’t hear anything. You took a step back and locked eyes with Tom again, who grinned at you.

Did he plan this?

Tom strutted around the stage, eating up the audience’s reaction. But best of all, he got a rise out of you and he loved it. The look on your face, one of pure neediness made him feel cocky. Tom doubted Adrian could do that to you. And it made him feel something wicked.

With a swivel, Tom turned around and dropped to the floor, whipping his head back and forth to the music. He knew that he was doing well because the crowd was screaming, even more so than when he did “Umbrella”. With a final move Tom finished and took a bow. One look at you confirmed how nervous you were. Adrian noticed and put his arm around you protectively, glaring at Tom. He shouldn’t have been happy about it, but it was funny how much Adrian despised him. You blushed and looked away as Tom came over, stopping a foot in front of you. The cheers stopped and the room went silent, waiting for Tom to speak.

“Let’s see what you got.” Tom smirked, taking a bow and brushing past you slightly. The contact made goosebumps rise, and you tried to keep your focus. But it was so hard to do that when Tom was inches away from you, his gaze burning through your back. It suddenly became very hot, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks again.

“Are you ready, Y/N?” LL Cool J asked and Adrian kissed your cheek. Before it would have made you smile, but it felt cold and strange. You nodded, waving to the crowd as you walked to the center of the stage, striking your beginning pose. The lights dimmed and the crowd’s noise lulled, and you began to sway back and forth.

3, 2, 1, Let’s go bitch!

The lights flashed on and you strutted to the front in sync with your backup dancers. The crowd went wild, screaming your name as you claimed your confidence again. It must have been the practices, because your routine was flawless and you’d never felt better. With a whip of your hair, you were off.

Swaying your hips, you ran a hand down your leg and whipped your head back up. Your backup dancers picked you up and spun you around, giving you a bit of air time as you landed on your feet perfectly. Your heels clicked across the floor and you pumped your hand in the air, drawing your hand across your waist and then moving it to snap as your legs spread. The ceiling opened and a flurry of bank notes fell from the sky. You caught one and tucked it into your top.

The audience screamed.

Tom nearly died at the sight, especially when you seemed to lock eyes with him for a moment. Biting your lip, you ran a hand through your hair as you grabbed onto a pair of hoops hanging from the ceiling. Steadying yourself, you spun around, and crossed your ankles. You dropped one hand and let it graze your leg. The music had you shaking your body almost unconsciously, it was like it was ingrained in you. A burst of colored powder covered the stage and you danced through it over to Tom, who was biting his lip pretty hard.

Who’s going to lose now?

You locked eyes with him and smirked, noticing him squirm. With a laugh you pushed him backward, turned around and flipped him off. Tom gasped as the crowd went nuts, and you looked over your shoulder, giving him a wink. Adrian howled his head off and Zendaya burst out laughing, watching Tom go red in the face. LL Cool J and Chrissy were eating it up, getting the camera to keep their focus on Tom. You walked back over to the dancers and jumped around, leaping onto the swing and flying over the audience. Your legs dangled and you spun through the air throwing dollar bills. It was just like that scene from The Greatest Showman, and it was as fun as it looked on screen too.

When you swung back onto the stage, the lights went out. With a smile, you brought out the lighter in your pocket and flicked it on, the light illuminating your face. You winked, blew it out, and the room burst into cheers as flurries of confetti rained down. Your team was going crazy, hugging each other and running out to hug you too.

Finally, it was over.

You could barely walk as you stumbled over to LL Cool J and Chrissy, who jokingly bowed to you. Tom was behind them, grinning at you which you chose to ignore. Adrian rushed out and kissed you, holding your face in his hands. You smiled into it, and the audience cheered your name. The kiss broke and you realized Tom was rolling his eyes at you. You stuck your tongue out at him and Chrissy came over with the belt in her hands, LL Cool J behind her.

“Quiet please!” The room went deadly silent, and you held your breath. Tom was a little nervous too, not expecting your dance to be that good. You didn’t even need Taylor Swift to make an appearance, it was just that good. He was mentally shaking his head, he shouldn’t have underestimated you.

But who knew you had that in you?

“This one was wild, I have to say. But we have a winner, and it’s not what we were expecting.” Chrissy said, looking at LL Cool J. You bounced up and down on your heels as the crowd leaned in, waiting for the winner.

“Y/N!” Chrissy yelled, and the room erupted. You clasped a hand over your mouth, completely speechless. Chrissy put the belt on you, which weighed a ton, and you smiled at the crowd. You couldn’t believe it, you’d beaten Tom Holland at his own game.Tom shook his head, but he couldn’t help smiling. You were good, and he’d admit he’d been beaten by someone superior.

“Sorry, Tom. But I guess you just lost your throne!” LL Cool J laughed, slapping him on the back. Tom chuckled, watching you shake hands with a young fan in the front. His heart swelled a little when you smiled and gave them one of your rings, but he tried to tamp his feelings down.

“Yeah, but I don’t mind. Y/N was better, she deserves it. But next time, I won’t let her win so easily.” He teased, elbowing you in the side. You gave the crowd a look and punched his arm, which made Tom pretend to be hurt as he rubbed his arm. Zendaya came out and hugged you, saying she loved your performance. You thanked her and looked around for Adrian, who was waving at you from the box.

“Anything you’d like to say, Y/N?” Chrissy asked and you took the microphone hesitantly. Everyone waited for you to speak, and you sucked in a breath. You looked over at Bailey, who was smiling at you proudly. Adrian was next to her, wearing the same smile and you suddenly knew what to say. And then there was your mom, beaming at you along with them.

“I just wanna thank my amazing team, they’re the reason I did so well, and my mom and boyfriend for making it out here. Bailey, I love you and I’d be lost without you. And also Shruti, my dance instructor who basically killed me at practices, but it paid off! Also, thanks to my fans who are always supporting me, I love you all!” You blew an air kiss and handed the microphone back to Chrissy.

“Well, thanks for voting everyone, and go see Emma in theaters soon! That’s all for Lip Sync!” Chrissy said, and everyone waved to the cameras. Finally the cameras cut off and the stage crew was ushering everyone backstage. You rejoined Bailey, Adrian, and your Mom, slipping off your heels and going barefoot. The crew congratulated you, some asking to take pictures which you happily obliged.

You were about to head back into your room to change when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around and came face to face with Tom again, all alone in the hallway.

“Can we talk?” He asked, running a hand through his slightly sweaty hair. It shouldn’t have been that hot, but you started to wonder what his hair felt like on your skin. You shook your head, upset that you’d let yourself think of Tom that way when you had an amazing boyfriend waiting for you.

Whatever the two of you had was over, for good. He’d made that clear.

But God, why did he have to be so goddamn attractive all the time?

“Um, sure.” You said, telling everyone to wait for you. Tom let you walk next to him, sitting down in a chair by the door to your room. You sat down next to him, smoothing down your jumpsuit nervously. No one was around to hear whatever he was going to tell you, and that made it worse. You could feel your resolve crumbling, and part of you wondered if you should be out here with Tom alone.

“So….you wanted to talk?” You asked, playing with your rings. Tom looked over at you and you swore he was shaking, but maybe it was your eyes playing tricks. But he did look nervous, and that made you feel a little better. You weren’t the only one unsure about this.

“I just wanted to say…” Tom started, but he felt the words catch in his throat. He’d prepared what he was going to say for days now, practicing with Harrison so he wouldn’t trip up. But when it actually came to it, Tom found he just couldn’t do it. You were making him so nervous, he didn’t think he’d be able to finish what he wanted to say.

He wanted to tell you he was sorry, for everything. For the way it ended, and for how quickly he “moved on” with Zendaya. He wanted to apologize for teasing you and being so rude, and making everything between you so awkward. That’s what he wanted to say, that’s what Tom had thought about for weeks. That and you, Tom had never stopped thinking about you.

But as soon as you sat next to him, your hair falling over your shoulders and your eyes on him, Tom just couldn’t do it. There was something about you that was both alluring and intimidated, and for the first time in his life, Tom was scared.

So when he opened his mouth, he said something else entirely.

“Zendaya wants us to go on a double date. You and Adrian and the two of us. She says we should all hang out more, do you want to go out this Friday?” Tom blurted out, immediately panicking when the words left his mouth. You looked stunned and confused, searching his face for signs of a joke. When Tom just stared back at you, looking visibly uncomfortable, you opened your mouth to respond.

“We’d love to.” A voice said from behind you, and you turned to see Adrian standing behind you. His jaw was clenched, boring holes into Tom’s head. You laughed awkardly, watching Tom smile nervously. You had to do something quick, otherwise the situation would become a tinder box.

“Yeah, tell Zendaya that’d be nice.” You said, standing up and taking Adrian’s hand. Tom frowned slightly, hating the way Adrian caressed your hand with your thumb. But he’d pushed you away, and what did he expect? Of course someone would move in for the kill. Adrian glowed triumphantly, slinging an arm over your shoulder. Tom nodded, focusing his gaze on you instead.

“Great, I’ll, uh, tell her.” Tom mumbled, watching you and Adrian go back into your room. For a moment, he just stood there, his head in his hands as he realized what he’d just done. He grabbed a pillow and threw it at the wall, silently cursing himself for being so stupid.

He’d practiced the damn speech with Harrison ten times, and now he’d just asked you to go on a double date? How did he even do that? Tom had the urge to scream, but the walls were so thin you’d hear and he didn’t want to give that smug bastard the satisfaction. Tom skulked back to his room, trying to figure out what to tell everyone.

“Tom! There you are! What was up with that thing you did during the dance, I don’t remember seeing that at rehearsals.” Harrison joked, but he stopped when he saw Tom’s face fall. Zendaya looked up, concerned because Tom was now pacing the room. She touched his back and Tom flinched.

“Hey, what’s wrong? If it’s about that move you pulled, it’s okay nobody’s saying anything.” Zendaya said, showing Tom her Twitter. “They think it was funny, that’s all.”

“It’s not that, I just did something really stupid.” Tom said, collapsing onto the couch. Harrison stood next to Zendaya, the two of them exchanging glances. Harrison was the first to speak, thinking it must be about the talk.

“Is it about Y/N? What did she say when you told her?” He asked, probing for information. Tom groaned, getting up again and standing by the counter. God, he just wanted to melt into the floor right now.

“I didn’t get to because I choked. But that’s not the worst part.” He muttered, and Zendaya took over. She sat down on the counter next to Tom, quirking an eyebrow when he turned away from her.

“Tom, what did you do?” She whispered, and Tom took a deep breath. Harrison sat down, preparing for what Tom was about to say. “Tom, what happened?”

“I just asked Y/N on a double date.” Zendaya inhaled sharply and Harrison cursed, Tom slowly turning back around to face them. “The two of them, together on Friday.”

“And she said yes.”

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[natsunoomoi]

Finished Main Story of SVSSS....

So yeah, I did that. I still really liked the story overall. Some parts are a bit problematic in a way, but also in a satisfying way that is complex and I think can refer to some real life relationships and complexities of that because not all relationships fit nicely into the little boxes and labels that we make and that’s my take away from the ending.

-Don’t like the in-story “original author” still, but also don’t dislike him as much as I did when I started the story now that I got more of his perspective. MXTX posted all of this for free not thinking it would go anywhere really, but it’s true that some people do have careers where they make a living off of their webnovels and fans buying chapters, so that pressure is there. I’m sure that because MXTX is also a fan of D. Gray-man, she’s aware of the similar pressures that even mangaka at JUMP face. Like BLEACH basically ended early because it fell out of popularity with the fans just as Airplane mentions happens to some novel works. To be fair, BLEACH also lifted an entire plotline from another popular supernatural manga including carbon copies of the lackeys of the villain for that arc, so some shade was also deserved. Like Yukio is just Amanuma Tsukihito with a PSP instead of an arcade system or Super Famicom. D. Gray-man itself has also been on hiaitus several times due to health concerns and such. Same as Hunter x Hunter and other prolific manga. The pressure is real and some ways the original author is kind of a mood. He’s also still a huge coward and that’s annoying.

-I feel worse for Shen Jiu than when I did when I was just reading his backstory off of the wikis and stuff from just wanting to see Shen Qingqiu’s beautiful face. Like I felt bad before, but after knowing more and witnessing some sentiments that would have been gut punches if Shen Jiu had heard them, I feel so bad for him. I don’t condone what he did, but I also get it and wish I could hug him. Basically about the same level of thought as I put into how much I like Emet-Selch, but I think overall in the end I love Emet-Selch more because the 5.3 patch update for FFXIV broke me. Man, that MSQ. Like I’ve never been opposed to liking villains and always thought some villains were cool. Like my sister worships Sephiroth from FFVII for instance, but like I was never really into Sephiroth’s motivations in that he’s cool, but his identity crisis didn’t quite strike me as like actually 100% believable that torching Nibelheim and trying to rescue Jenova was justified or a natural reaction someone in his position would have. I like him more than Cloud cuz Cloud is a hot fucking mess of a person and he’s overall just cool, but as a villain his motivations didn’t resonate with me.  A lot of people also really liked Kefka because he’s just straight up insane and like chaotic evil, but that kind of evil just isn’t compelling to me. Emet-Selch though straight up broke me and I thought about him for like months after the initial end of Shadowbringers when you do the fight with Hades. His story is ripe with meaning and nuance and the Tales from the Shadows stories adding more nuance and color to his eternal living torture of seeing remnants of people he cared about constantly without a break or a way to really “forget” and heal. That just stuck with me because I’ve lost people in my life too, and I remember what that was like and how hard it was to even live the day after let alone the following few years. I remember it well even today because it fundamentally changed me as a person, but I was able to find some relief and escape from music and entertainment and going out to have new experiences and travel. Emet-Selch could not, so his story really broke me internally. I bring this up just to make a comparison because I love Shen Jiu as well, but for nowhere near as dramatic a reason as I love Emet-Selch.

Spoilers under the cut

Okay, so since I was just talking about Shen Jiu, and maybe it’s partly because I actually find him to be gorgeous as well, but just reading his story did genuinely make me sad. I found his child form to be a little bit jaded already only because he was an older child already by the time he was bought by the Qius. When Yue Qingyuan was parting with him through the door he was being kind of manipulative there for extra sympathy initially, which isn’t really great. How severely the brother beat him though was hard to take. It was so extreme, like wtf? And perhaps the part where Qiu Haitang said that he’d been “freed” and the part where he was engaged seems to be true-ish, but yeah her brother is kind of really fucked up in how he still talks to him even though he is supposed to be his brother-in-law soon? Like what the hell. But like, the summaries of what he did online and even what Haitang had said also made it sound even more cold than it was. Like once he got going yeah, the onslaught was kind of cold. But he still had a moment of shock where like he didn’t really realize what he’d done right away and needed a moment to process. But after that it was like, well, it’s already done and people came to try to help the young master and he had to get out too. So the other people on the way out after that don’t sound nearly as consequential and it was really striking that not only did he not attack Haitang, but he spared all the other women in the house. Like Jesus Christ, were *ALL* the men in the house including the male servants and other slaves they had assholes to him too? Just, wow. But we don’t get a lot into what else happened there, but if the head of the household is bad and hurts him, it’s believable that other people join in just as Ming Fan joined in because Shen Jiu was complicit in allowing Binghe’s suffering. Really key though is the commentary of both the young master and his first evil master about his age. 

That is such a huge chip on his shoulder because everyone keeps bringing it the fuck up. Including Qingge in another memory later on when he’s already Peak Lord. I know they don’t like each other, but that was really mean. I realize Qingge probably doesn’t care and that was the point to throw salt in his wounds because they don’t like each other, but seeing how much it affected him by him breaking his fan with his hands after hearing that. I’ve had people do similar to me where they make an insensitive comment to try to hurt you without understanding the actual circumstances. My sister did that to me once and I reconciled with her for a bit, but decided not to talk to her anymore again because of some other bullshit with her friends being childish. But when she did similar to me, I never really forgave her for it either. My story is not nearly as dramatic, but basically I had quit a job where I was being bullied by coworkers at the start of the recession and I was looking for jobs, but no luck with anything I was qualified for even though I went on a few interviews. There actually weren’t many listings posted around that time, so I would only be able to find a couple to apply to and by the time my sister came home I’d be playing games to pass the time cuz I was bored out of my mind waiting for something to happen. So then we got in an argument for I forget the initial reason anymore, but she brought up how I “wasn’t looking” for a job and just seemed to be “being lazy” and I just got so pissed and yelled at her that she had no fucking idea what I was doing everyday and that I am looking and there isn’t anything fucking there. I also lost it and threw a stool at her. I’m not proud of it, but I totally get the mood of what it feels like for someone to use something that you are struggling with as a negative to throw in your face even though you are trying *SO* hard to do your best. I especially don’t want to hear that from someone who gave up on their desired career that they were actually good at and making a decent living at for money and also can’t tell when their friends are kissing up to them and crossing a line and won’t stand up to them for being shitty people. Teapot meet kettle, and don’t throw stones if you live in a glass fucking house. I don’t like low blows like that. 

My personal family issue aside though, I felt a lot of empathy for Shen Jiu in that moment. Seeing how he interacted with Binghe on their first meeting after that though, like I was sad for Binghe too, but I can also see where his misunderstanding happened on top of his insecurity. I also kind of wonder if Qingge’s comment also kind of encouraged this situation to happen.  I still like Qingge because he makes up for it a lot later, but yeah that was fucked up.

The gut punch later was when Qingyuan was seemingly dying and tried to apologize to Qingqiu, but all the words and the things Shen Jiu needed to hear. His years of misunderstanding and not knowing and being in pain and thinking he was abandoned. That was painful. Shen Jiu is gone. We don’t know where he is. Maybe he’s dead. No idea, but those are things he can never know. It’s already too late, and that’s crushing.

I still just really want to know more about Shen Jiu and I feel really sad that there wasn’t some kind of redemption for him or anything. Even if it’s like Shen Yuan going into the recesses of his own mind and finds Shen Jiu locked in a box somewhere so actually the both of them share the same body and he’s just watching in a tiny TV what Shen Yuan does with his body. He’d be really frustrated and would probably scream at him a lot with his screams completely unheard, but at least he’d get to see people liking him more and would be able to hear the words that Qingyuan spoke. I mentioned in an earlier post that I saw a theory about OG Qingqiu transmigrating into Shen Yuan when Shen Yuan takes over his body, and I think that’s possible because Shang Qinghua says that when he transmigrated he was born there and was since a baby? I was thinking maybe it’d be more like OG dies when OG Binghe kills him and then becomes Shen Yuan, but who knows.

I mean, also I just crave more information about him. He’s so unfortunate, and I like wish more went right for him so that he wouldn’t be so miserable. Like when you see a character where their life is just shit on, you just wish that you could do something to take away their pain.

And with that sentiment, that’s also why I found the ending to be satisfying but probably a little problematic. Like Shen Yuan is just a good guy and he has that same sentiment for Binghe just because he’s a poor kid with a shitty hand in life, but he’s also like really clearly not gay himself and not actually attracted to Binghe in that way. To be clear, the book does seem to discourage this kind of relationship in that it works in the way the narrative unfolded, but it isn’t one that would work in real life really. That’s part of the depth of it though. Like SY emotionally cares for him and he even remarks that he feels kind of more like his Dad, but the physical side of their relationship is more on Binghe’s side than his, and he acquiesces to it because he feels bad for him because this poor child has no one. And yeah, fine this works in an actual book that we’re all reading and this works within the system within the book where the MC is in a book himself with really screwed up logic rules, but I don’t recommend this method of getting with someone you like in real life. It will not end well. If someone you like is not into you, emotionally manipulating them and crying and also stalking them until they give their body to you out of desperation to console you is not the road to happiness. You also won’t have a pressure timer of life on earth ending by combining with actual hell to push them into bed with you. The fact that SY resorts to this in desperation in order to try to help Binghe to get control of the demon sword is admirable in the narrative of the story in that he’s doing it because he cares so much about this person and that’s fine, but it’s a red flag if anyone did this IRL and put their wishes aside to appease someone else. There will be a breakdown in the future as one person puts aside their needs for the other one completely. Partnerships that work are healthy and equal. That’s not what this is. In the story, the two characters have an understanding though that makes it fine, but I have second-hand anxiety for the idea that anyone would try to replicate this. This is not normally healthy.

But at the same time, the fact that the characters have an understanding to that is unique to their personal choice is also realistic in a sense that life is sometimes complicated and a similar situation could come about, but it is the choice of the people involved. With constant communication there’s a slim chance that maybe it could work out, but it’s hard. The main level of complexity I’m thinking of is that there’s different ways to care about other people or rather to just feel about other people. Like you can have like an intellectual attraction to other people in that you just like talking with them and you’re good friends with them because of that. You can be romantically attracted to someone, but also not feel sexual attraction too. Of course you can also feel physical attraction to someone, but not really care at all about them emotionally or even intellectually. SY has emotional feelings for Binghe, but it’s more on the parental side or even just human in not wanting him to suffer. If this were a points meter, his values for his emotions and just caring about him would be at max, while physical attraction and even romantic attraction are basically zero. Like he also just like cares about him in principle? Like as an all seeing reader you look at everything and are just like, wtf with this shit? How can one person suffer so much? As empthy or even sympathy you feel for them so then if the other person is more not asexual or aromantic that can trigger some feelings which is what happened between these two characters. The reason I say it isn’t necessarily bad, but some shakiness on execution too. But like say like an asexual person is romantically attracted to someone who isn’t asexual, but they still want to be with them. Like the non-ace person has some needs sometimes and even if the ace doesn’t feel it, because they care about their partner they acquiesce to their partner’s requests because they just want them to be happy. This kind of very personal choice situation I think is really similar to basically what ends up happening between SY Qingqiu and Binghe where SY isn’t really interested, but at the same time cares about Binghe’s well-being so much that he actually just wants him to be happy and reluctantly is okay with the situation. IRL though Binghe would be REALLY FRUSTRATING to be so unreasonably needy and like narcissistically abusive in wanting him all to himself an isolating him from his friends and being jealous of them. In comparison, Wangji and Wuxian are a great deal more balanced in comparison, but I also really like this book for the original idea and the complexity of SY’s ultimate choice because I feel like it’s also a bit more real that some people do make that kind of choice. It’s not healthy or guaranteed to be a success or happy experience, but it’s in the realm of possibilities for the kinds of personal choices people can make because the other person’s happiness is worth the minor discomfort.

Ah, I just have a lot of thoughts about this. Part of it stems from myself being ace also and what that means for me. But also getting to the end, I think Qingge is a fellow ace and also similar to me, just serious about his job and loyal to his crew.

I’ve read some of the extras obviously, but I haven’t delved that deeply into the extra materials.

Oh also, I laughed so hard when Mobei-jun just tossed Shang Qinghua over like a chicken. It said like a chicken and it was hilarious. XD Like imagining that panicked sound of hucking chickens in Ocarina of Time.

Oh and ho-shit the alt punishment system came up for SY Qingqiu for screwing up his points. Got to live through half the process of becoming a human stick very painfully.

I guess part of me is still kind of just wondering how Binghe grew to be SO needy. It’s to an unnecessary degree, but I guess without any real emotional or social guidance in the Endless Abyss that could happen?

Zhuzhi-Lang though is a really frustratingly annoying character, but I also like him at the same time. I’m confused by him.

The only other thing I’m like confused a bit about is like, so the 4 sects that are depicted with Cang Qiong Mountain being the top one are like the great four sects, but like...where are they? I’m just asking because of the kind of meta general landscape of what cultivation and Taoism is like some of the events that happen I would think actually would call down some interference from actual Heaven. Like in the classic lit, whenever there’s huge disturbances down in the Human World, like the Heavenly Palace and like the Jade Emperor are like, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” and go send people. I find it really hard to believe that such a disaster as the combining of two realms would be ignored by the armies of Heaven and like Nezha, Erlang Shen, and other notable actual deities up there would come down and be like, “The fuck you guys doing down here with these shenanigans?” Also, Journey to the West is like one of the most like influential books in the canon of Chinese lit and is regarded as literally one of the Four Great Classics. But none of these fools in these “great four sects” know how to stamp a floor and call up the local deity to tell you what the hell is happening in Jinlan City instead of sending your disciples to die? Sun Wukung did that at like every damn city and then also threatened to beat them if they like weren’t doing their job properly. Those minor deities are on the payroll for Heaven, so like...use them? Like I feel like they would know this too because like the ultimate goal for cultivation is to be able to become an immortal and end up on the payroll? I know Qingqiu is supposedly like mid-level or something, but like I think they should like know-ish where they’re going? Like in the future they would become one of those minor gods making records? Are they like not high enough to even talk to them? Maybe not, but I do think like Nezha, Pagoda Bearer Li, or Erlang Shen would definitely come down and be like, “Hey, what’s going on?”

Also like, Shen Jiu isn’t a great character and how he treats his disciples is bad and what he did was bad. But like, also, what is the standard to judge him really? Like Nezha was a dick when he was a child too. When he was 3 he went to a river and was swimming and liked killed all the fish and then a dragon prince came out and was like, “WTF? Why are all the fish dead?” and then Nezha instead of answering him kills him and guts him and then takes his tendon home to turn into a belt. Then like his Dad gets a complaint from the Dragon King like, “Hey, my son is dead! Your son did it. Hand him over so I can kill him or I destroy your town.” So then Nezha’s Dad goes to talk to him and is like, “What’re you doing?” And then Nezha answers him and tells him exactly what he did like it was no big fucking deal that he killed the local Dragon Prince and made him into a belt. Obviously there’s an argument and like Nezha basically rage quits his life and is like, if you’re so concerned about this bullshit I return this body to you and kills himself to cut off his ties to his parents. He was a rude little shit. Then he went into his Mom’s dream and threatened her until she built him a temple so he could get prayer requests until he could be reborn again. His Dad found out and wrecked the temple, so then he went up to go find his master who had him be reborn using lotus flowers. After that after being reborn, Nezha’s first order of business was to go back to his family and try to kill his own father for fucking up his temple and chased him down EVERYWHERE until other powers in Heaven, decided to send down Nezha’s older brothers with a pagoda to give to their Dad that would trap and burn Nezha everytime he tried to murder him. Is this better or worse than what Shen Jiu did? This is an actual god that people worship. A quite prominent and very famous one. Nezha is also one of my favorite deities and I had a huge crush on the Nataku from Fujisaki Ryu’s Houshin Engi manga who has mostly the same backstory as deity Nezha, and I just loved him in high school. He was a good guy. What are the standards here people? I don’t think anyone in any story in China can really judge someone like Shen Jiu doing an understandable level of murder as a response to trauma and severe abuse when they worship a deity that suffered nothing and tried to commit patricide and had a severe disregard for other life. In the cultivation world, potentially, this could be their future boss. I think arguably, he could be worse than Shen Jiu, but he’s a canonical real deity.

The above tirade for me is like a thing I feel like I would have said if I was in the position to be alive in Jinlan City and wanted to defend Shen Qingqiu cuz WTF.

Further, I’m a huge fan of Jigoku Shoujo and Enma Ai did much the same after her cousin saved her from being sacrificed, the villagers found out, buried her a live, made her cousin help bury her alive, and then she came back as a vengeful spirit and set the whole village on fire and killed everyone except maybe her parents who had their souls as prisoners by Enma himself? Can’t 100% remember. But like, on the scale of characters I like that have done terrible things, Shen Jiu is actually relatively low and under some people that are good guys.

[doubledeaky]

im back to sending you a million requests because those last two were SO FUCKING GOOD (from @deakyfordays) ok so can i get a gwil fic where hes like 'oh u can draw, let me see ur stuff' and basically u draw some like ~nude~ things that are classy but also gets him horny af and hes like oh shit let's fuck???

sorry this took me like a week, but ok I’m an artist and this made me super happy, thank you for supplying me with that good stuff @deakyfordays

okay so you and Gwil are supposed to be hanging out at your apartment, a Friday night tradition between you two, but Gwil knocked out half way through the movie you were both watching and instead of waking him up from a nap you knew he needed you decided to retire to the comfy chair by the window and work on a few of your incomplete sketches

Gwil was aware of your knack for art but wasn’t exactly informed to the extent at which you drew. Most of your pieces were anatomy studies and the occasional full blown piece, a nude model/figure at its center. The human body happened to be your muse and there was no shame in that. Gwil had never seen your art, and you had no intentions of showing him said art. 

You were idly working on a self portrait, a very nude self portrait, when Gwil began to stir and grumble from your couch. You grinned, but continued to drag your red drafting pencil across the sketchbook in your hands. You were so entranced in the motion of your hand that you didn’t notice Gwil get up and settle himself behind you until he spoke. 

“That’s really good.” He mumbled, his voice thick and raspy with sleep. 

“Shit!” You squealed, your entire body jumping a few inches from the comfy day chair. You instinctively shut your sketchbook and tossed it to the side, your cheeks burning in embarrassment. Gwil raised a questioning brow and reached for your sketchbook.

“Can I see?” He said, reaching his long arm over you to grab at it but was stopped when you snatched it out of his grasp. 

“Um, no.” You mumbled, his face fell and guilt wretched in your gut. “Sorry, I don’t really show people my stuff.” He seemed dumbfounded and his light laugh surprised you. 

“C’mon, Y/N. I wanna see. I promise I’ll be nice.” He pleaded, widening his bright blue eyes to seal the deal. You playfully rolled your eyes, the grip on your sketchbook tightening before you relaxed your muscles. 

“Fine, but I get to flip the pages.” You warned, pointing a stern finger in his direction. He held his hands up in defeat before joining you on the couch, planting himself just centimeters away from your side. Your breath hitched momentarily before you cleared your throat and hesitantly opened the leather-bound book. 

“This is an anatomy study I did a few months ago.” You explained, tracing your finger over the sloped lines of the drawn figure. His eyes were concentrated, scanning precisely over each line and area of shading. They also held another emotion, seemingly one of admiration and it made your heart flutter. 

You turned the page, the drawing a portrait of your good friend. His eyes widened, “Wow, this one is incredible.” He mumbled, thumbing the end of the page to draw it closer, careful not to bend or tear the image. Your grin widened and the pace of your already frantic heart quickened. 

“Thank you.” You smiled, absentmindedly flipping the page to an image you weren’t intending to show him, the nude portrait of yourself that you had been working on just minutes before. 

“Oh, shit.” You mumbled, flipping over a few pages and hoping he hadn’t noticed. But, he did.

“Woah, woah, wait. What was that one?” He asked, trying to flip back to the drawing. He looked at you with raised brows and your face somehow grew exponentially warmer. 

“It was nothing. It was the one I was working on earlier. “ You explained, trying to keep your voice calm and level. He smirked, gripping the end of the sketchbook in his hand. Your throat grew dry and you struggled to swallow the growing lump there. 

“Can I see?” He crooned, obnoxiously batting his long lashes as he did. You pursed your lips and considered the idea for a moment. The drawing was essentially one of your nudes and you’d be showing this nude to your best friend. You concluded there would be no harm in it, as long as you didn’t tell him who the figure was. You reluctantly flipped back to the designated page and held it out to him. He took the book in his hands and studied the figure with squinted eyes. Your stomach churned and the pressure in your chest tightened as he continued to scan the drawing. 

“Who is this?” He suddenly said and you tensed, your heart stopping in your chest. The figure was unfinished and had no face yet, so only you truly knew who it was. You twiddled your thumbs and tried to not fumble over your next sentence.

“Um, no one in particular.” You mumbled, not meeting his eyes. 

“Oh, please. The detail is incredible. You’re telling me this is all from memory?” He questioned, arching his brow and sending a sly smirk your way. You shifted uncomfortably, picking at the sleeves of your sweater and still not meeting his gaze.

“Um, yeah.”

“Y/N..” 

“Fine, fine. If you must know. It’s a self portrait.” 

“A…self portrait? This is you?” He seemed stunned, and his tone made it hard to determine if he surprised or disgusted.

“Yeah, it is. Is there a problem?” You asked, tone growing defensive and hands just seconds from snatching the sketchbook from his hands and vowing to never draw around the man again. 

“No, no. There’s no problem. It’s just…”

“What?” You were growing impossibly nervous, your gut clenching uncomfortably. 

“It’s really beautiful. I’m… almost speechless.” He laughed, his speech airy and hushed. Your eyes widened slightly and for a fleeting moment, you saw him shift slightly in his seat. 

“R-really?” You mentally chastised yourself for making a complete fool of yourself if front of the man you had a huge crush on. The man who was essentially studying a nude photo of yourself in front of you. 

“Yeah, I mean. Wow, it’s incredible. Beautiful and talented.” He mumbled, handing you the book and immediately placing a throw pillow in his lap when you grabbed it from him. You were stunned, did he just compliment you or the drawing? 

“Well, thank you. It means a lot.” You stuttered, giving him an appreciative grin. He nodded, watching your form intently as you put away your sketchbook and rejoined him on the couch. 

“Bet it’s even more beautiful in person.” He mumbled, probably intending for the words to go unheard but you caught them, every word. He noticed this, the way your body froze as you reached for the remote indicative of that. His heart dropped and he had to restrain himself from running through your window. 

“Sorry, that was..”

“Do you mean that?” 

His blue eyes widened, your reaction completely unexpected. You looked up at him expectantly and the way you eyed him sent he to his lower stomach. A sudden confidence bloomed in his chest and he shifted to face you fully.

“Every word.” He whispered, bringing a hand up to cup your heated face. Your breath hitched and despite yourself, you leaned into his touch. 

“You are art.” He was so close, you felt the words fan over your lips and your eyes fluttered shut in anticipation. He softly pressed his lips to your and a relived sigh escaped your nostrils. You immediately melted into his touch, bringing your hands up to card through his soft brown hair. He whimpered against your lips, his own hands now gripping your hips tightly. He pulled away, his breaths coming out in heavy pants. 

“I’ve wanted you for so long. I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long. Wanted to see that beautiful body.” He breathed, pulling your body closer, nearly into his open lap. 

“Nothing’s stopping you.” You breathed out, taking it upon yourself to climb into his lap and lace your arms behind his head. He gives you a somewhat shy but appreciative grin, and reattaches his lips to yours. He tastes exactly how you’d imagined he would. Sweet, minty from that gum he always chews, and a flavor that’s unidentifiable but him nevertheless. 

His hands are leaving a fire in their wake. Everywhere he touches set ablaze and you whimper into the heated kiss. His fingers dip below the hem of your sweater and you wordlessly pull it over your head. Gwil’s blue eyes darken and his hand immediately begin working the clasp of your bra, eyes never leaving yours. 

You let him take it off, you’d let him do anything at this point. He eyes you hungrily, bringing his lips to mouth at your chest softly, the touch pulling soft whimpers and moans from your lips.

“Even better than the drawing.” He says, words muffled against your skin and you laugh lightly. His lips then surround your left nipple, nipping at it gently and you have to bite down on your lip to cage desperate moans. The pressure in your lower tummy is unbearable now and your body involuntarily brushes against his clothes lap. His actions falters and he lets out a heavy, pained sigh. 

“Fuck, do that again.” He commands before continuing his assault on the delicate skin of your chest and breasts. You anchor your hands on his shoulders for leverage and begin to softly grind your hips against his lap, his cock hardening underneath you. Your head falls into his shoulder, the friction he’s providing satisfying the ache you’ve suffered with since the day you’d met him. He can hear your soft whimpers and moans right next to his ear and he shifts his hips uncomfortably with each sound, his jeans now unbearably tight. He sits back for a second and removes his shirt, and you gaze at him appreciatively for a moment before he brings his lips to yours. 

“Can I take these off, love?” He breathes, his prying fingers referring to your shorts. You nod wordlessly, and lift your hips to make the job easier for him. He removes both your shorts and underwear in one motion and you nearly faint when your pussy makes direct contact with his Jean clad lap. His hand settles on your hips and he gestured for you to continue your motions, his grip guiding you against him. You breathing is heavy, coming out in pants, whimpers, and the occasional moan of his name. He’s loving every moment, watching your shaking form behind hooded eyes. The way you draw your lip between your teeth occasionally, how your eyes close every time he presses your body harder against him. 

“Fuck, Gwil.” You whine, feeling the tightness in your belly grow. You stop suddenly and bring your hand to his zipper, desperately fumbling with it. He laughs and removes his jeans without issue, giving you a soft peck before drawing you closer, breasts flush against his strong chest. 

“You look so pretty like this.” He whispers, brushing fallen hair from your face. You smile, bringing your lips to his in a searing kiss. You toy with the waistband of his boxers, silently begging him to remove them. He complies, sliding them off of his long lower half slowly. Now, nothing seperates you and him and it’s almost overwhelming. 

“Do you have a condom?” You whimper, his lips working at the skin on your neck. He nods, leaning over to fish one out of his wallet and immediately returning to you. You grab it from him, quickly removing it and sliding it over his length. 

“Eager, aren’t we?” He teases and you narrow your eyes, playfully sticking your tongue out as you settle above him. He grips the base of his cock and run the head through your folds, both of you breathing out heavy moans at the sensation. He catches your gaze and you smile lazily, pressing your lips to his as he slips in. You moan against his mouth as he buries himself to the hilt within you, groaning loudly as he bottoms out. 

“Fuck, you’re tight.” He groans, his head lolling back onto the arm of the couch. You're too overwhelmed to speak, only lucid enough to grip his strong shoulders and moan. 

“Can I move, love?” He asks after a moment and you nod, eyes still shut tight.

He thrusts up into you and you fall limp into his chest as he settles on a steady pace, the head of his cock brushing against that certain spot and bringing you close to your edge faster than you had anticipated.

“Feels so good, Gwil.” You gasp, clinging onto him, his own hands gripping your hips and ass tightly. 

“You feel so amazing, sweetheart. So tight for me.” He groans, his thrusts picking up speed. You cry out, burying your head into his neck, the stubble scratching your cheek. 

“Im close, Gwil.” You whimper, walls clenching around him almost involuntarily. His grip on your hips tightens.

“Yeah, gonna cum? Cum for me, angel.” He growls, thrusting up into you with an almost brutal strength. Your orgasm suddenly rips through you, the sensation sending shockwaves throughout your entire body. Your walls clench around him violently and the way his thrusts falter indicate he’s right behind.

Fuck, sweetheart. Gonna make me cum.” He groans before stilling inside of your and releasing into the condom with a broken moan. Your mouth falls open but no sound escapes, and your body falls limply into his strong chest, the aftershocks of your orgasm still rocking you. Gwil holds you, his hands running softly up and down your back, his lips pressing soft kisses onto your temple. 

“Did so well for me, sweetheart.” He praises, smoothing down your hair, pressing kisses to your sweaty forehead. Your eyes are hooded and lazy but you manage to give him a sweet smile. 

“There’s my girl.” He coos, giving you a smilier smile. He then gingerly lifts your hips and pulls out, quickly tying off and discarding the condom after. He returns to you, pulling you against his chest, his hands resting comfortably against the small of your back. 

“My girl.” He whispers into your hair. You hear him, but it's distant, sleep washing over you quickly. He watches as you drift off peacefully, smiling widely because he knows he’s got the most beautiful work of art in the known world. 

this isn't great and it didn't really proofread it, but Im happy I finished it. now back to homework -macy:) 

[shadowsnlace]

Let's request something fun! Since you love medieval AU, how about HCs or a scenario for a Lady!Reader finding out that to secure certain borders and trade rights, she has been unconventionally betrothed to Lords Ukitake and Kyoraku to bind all three Houses together. How do you think that would go? (Personally, I'd ask how soon the wedding could be!)

Brilliant idea! I LOVE this and loved writing it! I can’t tell you how happy I was when I saw you in my ask box! ;) Grab a cuppa, get comfy, and get ready for nice jaunt back in time! Love you!

Note: This is set in a fantasy medieval land much like 13th century Britain. I did my best to try to capture the experience of a virgin bride. Almost all of the modern/conventional words we use to describe things are pretty much gone. (I had to break down and use some modern genital words. Hey, I gotta call them something!) I did that to keep the feel of the time period and try to give the experience of a lady of that time.

Glossary: wanton - (used as a noun) - a sexually unrestrained woman.

This got really long, so settle in. I couldn’t help it. I hope you all enjoy it!

“Alliance”  - Shunsui Kyoraku and Jushiro Ukitake

A collective gasp filled the hall followed by the murmur of numerous nobles, courtiers, and servants.

“Scandalous!” 

“Unheard of!”

“That poor woman!”

“How can her father do that to her?!”

All of the whispers washed over you as you stood alone in the center of the hall, facing your father. The announcement had been made that you were to wed not one, but two powerful men of the realm. Your ears were still ringing. Your vision swam with unshed tears. How could he humiliate you like this?

You felt the need to flee the hall, but found yourself rooted to the spot, your face hot with shame and anger. The wild thought of grabbing a knife from one of the tables and stabbing it into your father’s black heart was so tempting. 

Suddenly, you felt warmth at your back. One presence then another joined you in the middle of the swirling storm of voices. Sir Shunsui Kyoraku and Sir Jushiro Ukitake, your betrothed, stepped around you. Both men placed themselves between you and your father – and they both looked angry. 

You couldn’t believe how big they were. Dressed in varying shades of grey, both men were so handsome it nearly seemed impossible. Shoulders so broad, chests so deep, thighs so powerful…both were physically intimidating and yet, you didn’t feel afraid of them at all. In fact, you felt a bit a warm and a strange flutter in your stomach.

“We asked you to allow us to approach the lady in private, my lord.” Shunsui’s posture was defensive.  

Your father waved a hand dismissively, “I do as I please, Lord Kyoraku.”

A muscle tightened in Shunsui’s jaw, “Then Sir Ukitake and I shall do as we please – we are taking the lady to Ugendo. We will wed her there in a fortnight.” He started to turn his back on your father, but stopped and looked back, “We will expect her dowry to be paid before then.”

Jushiro grinned, a flash of straight, white teeth giving him a menacing edge, “Fail to do so and we will be back here with our armies.”

You watched your father’s face turn beet-red. He had been crowing so loudly about his cleverness in getting two powerful alliances for the price of one virgin. Now, it seemed that your future husbands were not very fond of your father at all. He sputtered, “If you take her, you take only her. Everything she owns stays here!” Another gasp ran through the room.

All the things you’d saved for years in your hope chest….your clothes….your books….your needlework…. your mementos gathered over the years, all of them memories of your late mother and the few friends you’d had in your youth. 

You’d had enough. “Fine!” Your voice cracked in the hall like a whip. You grabbed the cloth of your dress and started ripping it off. Shunsui and Jushiro’s eyes went wide. Both men closed in to shield you as you stripped yourself bare. Jushiro pulled off his cloak, wrapped it around you, wrapped you right into his side. He started to lead you out of the hall, but you wiggled away. You kicked off your shoes, picked them up, and threw them one at a time at your father as a frustrated yell bubbled up your throat. 

Before you could start cursing your father, Shunsui swept you up against his thick chest. “Allow me, my lady.” You looked up to find grey eyes echoing the smile on his lips. “I cannot allow such lovely feet to touch the ground.” His warmth seemed to flow into you and you fought back the urge to cuddle deeper into his embrace. You looked over to see Jushiro level one last cold look at your father before he turned and walked out of the hall next to Shunsui.

—- 2 Weeks Later —-

Ugendo: Perhaps the most beautiful castle in all the realm. You had heard of the seaside castle that seemed to sparkle in the sun. You’d thought it was all just the fanciful embellishments of bards. The reality was so much more than words could describe. Much like it’s lord, the Ukitake lands and castle were magnificent. Overlooking the sea, Ugendo shimmered like tiny jewels had been set into the stones. It was breathtaking, also like it’s lord. 

It had taken a week of travel to reach Ugendo. Upon leaving your father’s castle, Shunsui and Jushiro took you to the marketplace. They had bought you clothes, shoes, jewelry (they both insisted), a horse, and most dear to you – two new books that you hadn’t read before.

The trip had been very pleasant. During the day, both men would ride next to you and keep you engaged in conversation. You quickly deduced that they knew much more about you than you knew about them. Their reputations were well known. They were quite the favorites when it came to court gossip. Sir Kyoraku’s amorous exploits were nearly as legendary as his skill on the battlefield. Sir Ukitake was more of a mystery. Beyond his prowess as warrior and his manner as a noble, the whispers at court were mostly mixed speculation as to his love life. 

Both men were more than happy to dispel rumors and give you an honest look into exactly who they were. By the time you reached Ugendo you were well on your way to being in love with them both. 

The next week at Ugendo was a whirlwind of activity. Between wedding plans, guests arriving, and Shunsui and Jushiro spiriting you away to private meals or walks in the garden or along the shore, you were beginning to get a taste of what life with these men would be like. You’d also gotten a taste of what physical delights awaited you. Shunsui had given you a passionate kiss in the moonlight while he walked the gardens with you. Jushiro had also kissed you that night while you’d cuddled with him in a private solar near your room. Both experiences had left you feeling hot, shaky, and aching in places you didn’t know could ache like that. If they effected you like that from just kissing, what was your wedding night going to be like?

——-

The gathering for your wedding was staggering. The sea of faces that watched you walk the aisle toward the priest and your waiting husbands-to-be all faded into a blur. Your eyes were trained on Shunsui and Jushiro, both looked so handsome in their wedding finery you hardly knew which one to stare at. Once you reached the end of the aisle, they flanked you. Jushiro held up his left hand, you placed your left hand on top of it, and Shunsui placed his left hand on top of yours. As the priest spoke, all you could think of was your tiny hand, warm and safe between theirs. You knew in that moment that you loved them, truly and completely. 

Jushiro nudged you. You looked up with a start. The priest looked expectant. You swore you heard Jushiro chuckle.

Shunsui’s whisper was soft and full of mirth, “This is the part where you say, ‘I do.’”

Your voice rang out without any hesitation or quaver, “Yes! I do! I most certainly do!”

Laughter rippled around you but you only heard Shunsui and Jushiro’s chuckles.

The priest placed a length of white silk around your combined wrists and tied it in a loose knot. He said a prayer over your hands then blessed your union. Gold rings, engraved with the crests of your three houses, were placed on the ring-finger of all three left hands. And then, two sets of lips were kissing you, each pressing to a corner of your lips. You wanted to toss your arms around them in turn and kiss them passionately like they’d taught you, but for propriety you kept yourself in check. 

Seated between your husbands – Wow, your husbands! You ate very little at the celebration feast. Your stomach was a jumble of nerves and your feet were shifting under your chair. 

Jushiro leaned in, dropped a light kiss on your right shoulder, “You should eat, my love.” His green eyes were twinkling with something you couldn’t put a name to but knew it wasn’t simply amusement, “You’ll need the energy later.”

You could feel a blush warm your cheeks and neck. Shunsui’s hand was reassuring on your back, “He’s right, petal, once you’ve eaten we can move on to more pleasant pursuits.” You thought he meant dancing – his eyes said different, as did the low rumble in his chest that you could only compare to a purr. Jushiro’s huff of breath and chuckle confirmed that they were clearly speaking of something you couldn’t quite understand – yet.

One dance. All you got was one dance with your husbands. They took turns moving through the steps with you. When the music stopped to allow the dancers to re-position for the next song, Jushiro took your hand and headed for the exit. Shunsui swept a bow to the wedding guests, “We thank you all for joining us for this joyous event. But, now it is time for us to take our leave.” He didn’t wait around to respond to the ribald jests that followed him out of the hall and up the stairs to the master apartment.

When Shunsui caught up to you and Jushiro, you were pushed against the wall a few feet from the door to the master apartment. Jushiro’s mouth was slanting over yours in a heated exchange, his body pressed against yours, his hands in your hair. Shunsui’s laugh was playful, “Getting started without me, eh?”

Jushiro sealed the kiss but didn’t take his eyes from yours, “How can I resist such beauty?” His thumb passed lightly over your bottom lip, “Truly, these lips were made for kissing.” 

The next moments were a flurry of movement. Shunsui swept you up into his arms and carried you into the master apartment. Jushiro was close behind to close the door and lock it. He wanted no interruptions.

Shunsui carried you all the way into the bedroom, setting you by the fireplace so you’d be warm. His hands framed your face as his mouth captured yours in a kiss that made you feel hotter than any fireplace ever could. Your head began to swim a bit. Then, Jushiro was behind you, his fingers working to free you from the lacing that was holding your dress together at the back. You felt the fabric loosen. Shunsui pulled back from you as Jushiro lifted the dress and your shift over your head. 

The second you were clear from your clothes, Shunsui was back. His hands roamed your bare skin, a low growl escaping as he watched where he touched you. “Perfect.” One hand skimmed over your shoulder, down your arm, to your hand. He lifted it to his lips, kissed your palm, ran his tongue over it then he grinned when you gasped. He pulled you close, gray eyes shining in the firelight with something raw and animalistic. Your whole body shuddered. His look instantly became concerned, “Are you afraid, wife?”

You swallowed hard…ye gods, your throat was so dry! “N – No. I’m not afraid.” You reached for his face, let the bristle of his beard tickle your hand, “I will never be afraid of you or Jushiro.”

He smiled down at you, dropped a soft kiss on your lips. He gently turned you around to face Jushiro.

The sight made your knees wobble. Jushiro stood completely naked in the firelight. And, he had let his hair down. All that glorious white, silky hair was cascading around him like a heavenly aura. Your eyes followed the lines and shadows of his muscles…down….down….By all that’s holy!

“That’s not going to fit.” You had spoken your stray thought out loud. Shunsui’s laughter made you realize it.

Jushiro was snickering. He reached for you, pulled you close until his skin met yours, “Trust me, sweetheart, we will fit together perfectly.” 

He was so warm. Every place he touched you left a prickly sensation on your skin. His hand moved up your ribcage to cup a breast as his head dipped to allow him to lick your nipple. “Oh!” Your body swayed in his grasp, your back arched to give him better access. A soft hum of approval, then his mouth covered your nipple and he sucked. Your whole body bucked as a squeal of surprise escaped. It feels so good….His chuckle against your sensitive peak made your legs shake. Your fingers sank into his hair, holding him to you, needing to touch him. He lifted his lips to yours, tongue delving deep to sweep you even further into a state of mounting heat. 

He stepped back and sat down in the big chair by the fireplace. You were guided into his lap, but turned away, back to face Shunsui. 

Shunsui stood in all his bared glory, looking like a god. He was a bit larger than Jushiro, but not by much. The hard planes of muscle covered his body like a suit of armor under his flesh. The dark hair on his chest fascinated you. You wondered how it would feel when he pressed his body against yours. Would it be soft or coarse? Would it feel much different from Jushiro’s skin?

Then your eyes were drawn to the erection that stood proud. Your eyes went round as your mouth fell open. Seeing your expression, Shunsui smiled, “Don’t worry, we’ll fit, you’ll see.” His eyes met Jushiro’s over your shoulder.

Jushiro moved you to lean back against his chest. You were very aware of his hard, hot erection nestled against your lower back. You had barely registered the thought when his hands reached under your thighs and lifted them open. Your sex was completely open and exposed. A protest was mounting on your lips until you saw the hunger in Shunsui’s gaze as it settled there. 

One step. Then he was on his knees, his lips and hands grazing the back of your thighs. You tried to squirm but couldn’t in Jushiro’s grip. You watched with unbridled curiosity as Shunsui dragged his tongue over your swollen lips all the way up to a place that ripped the moan right from your throat.

Jushiro let go of your legs, allowing them to settle on Shunsui’s wide shoulders. His hands moved up to cup your breasts, thumbs lightly stroking over your nipples in careful movements to match what Shunsui’s mouth was doing. You moaned again. Your head fell back onto his shoulder. Jushiro’s lips skimmed over your ear, his breath sending a tickling wave down your back. Combined with Shunsui’s lips moving between your legs, the sensations were making your body feel tight and restless.

You squirmed. Shunsui growled. His hands held your hips, making you be still while keeping you right where he wanted you. His tongue was lapping at that wonderfully sensitive place, his lips closing over it to suck. His eyes lifted to yours and he winked at you. You couldn’t do more than just stare and pant, yet you managed a quick smile. Your hands were on the arms of the chair, fingers clawing at the fabric. 

You were burning from the inside out. Jushiro’s lips on your neck, his hands on your breasts. Shunsui’s mouth devouring you like a starving man, his hands moving on your hips and lower stomach. Something was growing in you, threatening to take over. 

Then, it happened…a wave of pleasure crashed over you. Your head flung back against Jushiro’s shoulder as screams of ecstasy erupted from your throat. Colors of every hue danced behind your eyelids. You had no concept of anything except the feeling of being swept away.

Shunsui and Jushiro were drinking in your cries of pleasure, their touches carrying you through peak after peak until you slumped – spent, euphoric, tremors running from your shoulders to you your knees.

The feeling of soft blankets. The weight of a male body, honed from decades of training and combat, was a welcome sensation. You opened your eyes to find Jushiro settling over you. His hair spilled around you, curtaining you in a private world where his kiss stirred the embers in your belly back to life. You felt something nudge the apex of your thighs. It was time. This was the moment you had feared and secretly longed for. The mystery would be solved.

One hand guided his engorged member while the other held him propped over you. “Open for me, sweet wife.” You gave him a loving smile and spread your legs, pulling your knees up like he’d done for Shunsui. His eyes never left yours as he pushed forward slowly. 

Your body was more than ready for Jushiro, but he met with a slight resistance. An easy, gentle roll of his hips and it felt like unused muscles stretching for the first time. Was this supposed to be the pain you’d been warned about? It was such a small ache, but one that only seemed to fill you with longing. Slow, inch by inch, he just kept sinking into you. Finally, he stopped, seated deep. An audible groan escaped his lips and you wondered if perhaps you’d hurt him. His forehead pressed to yours as a shiver ran through him. “Mmm, see,” his voice was thick, “we fit together perfectly.” He kissed you, tongue dipping in, catching the edge of your upper lip. “Are you all right?”

Your hands slid up his back, pulling his body toward yours in an effort to communicate your need without words. “Yes, love, I’m better than all right.” Hips shifting impatiently, your voice came out a bit breathy, “I – I need –” Then he moved and your words were stolen away on the gasp that left your lips. The slide of him inside you felt unlike anything you could imagine. The pleasure, the sweet ache…oh, please, don’t stop.

Jushiro’s smile was playful, “Oh, I know precisely what you need.” Slow and steady, his hips were moving, rolling, his hard length sending tendrils of pleasure racing through you. Each movement was better than the last until you didn’t think you could take anymore. 

On and on he kept going, speeding up then slowing down. Kisses that stole your wits gave you a feeling of being completely connected to him. He shifted to trail kisses down your neck until he reached your breasts. His mouth was hungry on them, licking, sucking, groaning against your flesh. The added sensations drove you higher into a frenzy that burned white hot at the base of your spine.

That restless feeling was building again, coiling inside you, beating at your brain. You knew what was coming and began to rock back against Jushiro’s thrusts in an effort to reach it. His lips were a mere inch from yours, both of you locked together so close, your pants fanning each other’s faces. 

Then you were crying out, the sounds uncontrollable and primal. Jushiro’s thrusts were deep and hard, pushing you beyond your breaking point. You could feel your body fluttering, clenching, and heard his guttural cry against your neck. His body went completely stiff beneath your hands and you felt a shudder run through him.  

You were floating, not quite aware of anything until you felt something cool and wet between your legs. You cracked open your eyes to find Jushiro cleaning you with a damp cloth. He looked happy, but a bit concerned, “Are you sore?”

You shook your head, “No, not at all.” You sat up to catch his lips in a sweet kiss.

You looked over to find Shunsui watching you. He was relaxed against a pile of pillows, a goblet in his hand, and looking like the most sinful temptation in all the realm. He quirked a brow, “Are you sure you’re all right?” When you nodded and smiled, he held his hand out to you. The moment you put your hand in his, he pulled you into his lap, moving you so that you straddled his thighs. His hard length was trapped between your bellies. He gave you a drink from his goblet. The spiced wine was soothing to your dry mouth. Once you’d emptied the goblet, you set it aside on the small bedside table and returned your focus to him.

You wrapped your arms around Shunsui, eager for his kiss, but more eager to press your body against his. His chest hair was soft and just a bit coarse, giving you a wonderful prickle against your skin, especially your nipples. You couldn’t hold back a mewl of need as you rubbed yourself against him, your tongue tangling with his. He nipped at your jaw, teeth grazing on his way to your neck. His lips, tongue, and teeth stirred your desire making you want more.

Shunsui’s chuckle was a rumble at your throat as one hand pressed your chest to his while the other moved down to cup and squeeze your butt. His fingers crept between your legs, rubbing your swollen lips and spreading the dampness that was gathering there. You moaned, your hands curling into the long locks of his hair that had tumbled over his shoulders.. He shifted a bit, “Push up just a bit, petal.”

You pushed up onto your knees, unsure of his request, but trusting him. You looked down and watched as he guided his erection between your legs. He rubbed it back and forth between your nether lips, making you shiver in anticipation. Then, he stopped, one hand pressing on your hip. You took the hint and sank down. Your head fell back on a loud groan as your body welcomed him inside. Shunsui let out a strangled moan, “By the gods, you feel so good!”

A thrill shot through you – you were giving him pleasure! Suddenly, you felt powerful. Two legendary knights of the realm were your husbands. And, the most notorious lover in all the land was currently underneath you, completely at your mercy, and if the look on his face were any indication, he was really enjoying it.

You squirmed, unsure of how to move. Shunsui hissed, grabbed your hips, and rocked you slowly. You quickly fell into the rhythm, unable to hold back the gasps and moans as he stretched you. So deep, so hard, so wonderful…

His hands wandered. He gently kneaded your breasts, the rough pads of his thumbs sending bolts of heat through you every time he dragged them over your sensitive peaks. 

Your hands looked so small compared to the wide planes of his chest. A thought skittered through your mind – if it felt good for him to touch your nipples, would he like that too? You leaned over and swept your tongue over his nipple. The reward was instant. He gasped in shock, hands clenching your thighs. A chuckle followed, “Little minx, you learn fast.”

You looked up at him and gave him a wink. Shunsui laughed, rich and deep, but it choked off when you settled your lips on the little bead of flesh under your tongue and sucked. His hands moved to your butt – squeezing, grinding you onto him as he thrust up. You groaned. The vibration pulled a matching groan from him.

Your thoughts of power were quickly chased away as Shunsui showed you just how powerful he was. You may have been on top, but he was the one driving you the edge of madness. Muscles were bunching under you, lifting you, pulling you back down. Every stroke of him inside you was pure magic.

Then he tilted you just a bit and new nerves sprang to life. You cried out. One hand moved to that little bud, that place you now knew would send you straight into bliss-filled oblivion. His thumb circled. “Oooooh!” You bucked in his grasp. He grinned up at you and kept stroking. Your eyes cinched shut as the world seemed to fall away on a tide of ecstasy.

You were rocking hard, wails of rapture filling the room. Shunsui grunted, sat up, wrapped his arms around you tight as if he was holding on to keep you from flying away. You could feel yourself clenching around him. His face was pressed to your chest, panting hard, thrusting hard. Then, he moaned loud and long, his body riding the last pulses of his release. 

Awareness was fleeting. You felt Shunsui lay you down. The cool wetness returned. You couldn’t open your eyes to find out who was cleaning you, it seemed to be too much effort. The world seemed softer, lighter, somehow much more wonderful than it had been before. 

Warmth surrounded you. Shunsui had curled up to your back, one arm tucked under the pillow you shared, the other draped lazily over your waist. Jushiro’s legs tangled with yours, as he settled himself comfortably against you. He kissed your lips, lingering, enjoying the feel of that simple contact. Shunsui nuzzled his face into the curve of your neck.  

Jushiro looked into your eyes as one finger traced your face, pushing a lock of  hair behind your ear, “Are you happy, my love?”

You smiled, “Deliriously happy.” You let your fingers trail over the contours of his chest to his abs, drifting lower. “I do believe you two have unleashed quite the wanton.” He sucked in a breath when your hand stroked his half-hard manhood as your teeth grazed his neck. You were feeling bold. You wanted them again, wanted them both with a hunger that seemed to know no bounds. Will I ever get enough of them? The answer was an immediate echo: Never.

Shunsui was snickering, “Well, Jushiro, I don’t think we’re going to be getting any sleep tonight.”

[kaimcclains]

the last time (’cause i could never say no to you)

“I’d prefer to keep this to ourselves for now! I mean, wow that sounds bad, but I just don’t wanna share y-”

“It’s okay, I get it!” Adam flashes what he hopes is a convincing grin. So Kai didn’t want Mira to know he was bisexual/pansexual/a different sexuality Kai hadn’t specified, but he’s hedging his bet on bisexuality. That’s fine. He’s not fond of the excitement that washes over him at the thought of Kai trusting Adam with a secret.

He can definitely say he isn’t a fan either of how Kai smiled at him like he hung the stars in the sky or a euphemism equally as ridiculous.

Nothing prepares him for when Kai laces his fingers securely through Adam’s, and the way he beams at the ground from beneath his red fringe like nothing else exists.

-

In which Kai believes he's being obvious, Adam pines ridiculously hard, and Mira is a good and patient friend. Also known as the "didn't know we were dating" fic.

“Was it something you’ve always known, or something you picked up?” Adam asks curiously, absent-mindedly stirring a finger in the dirt below him. Kai’s seated a few inches away, elbows propped up on his knees as he stares at the sky. Mira’s resorted herself to making small talk with Benjamin and Benjamini, once it was apparent to her that Adam was off in his own little world with Kai (and who was she to deny him of talking to his oh-so-obvious crush?)

“I don’t know where I got it from. It’s similar to walking, you’ve kind of always assumed you can do it without any thought or anything.” Kai replies. He rubs the back of his arm sheepishly, eyes finding themselves splayed to the length of Adam’s side profile. “Nothing to write home about.”

“Seriously? I know I couldn’t figure out how to fix an entire space ship just at first glance!” He also wants to tack on a question - Why are you always doubting yourself? - but with Kai’s volatile nature, Adam’s sure he would’ve managed to piss the guy off.

They find themselves in that cycle a lot. Kai and Adam are friendly towards each other, making Adam think he might have finally gotten through the younger boy’s barriers, and then Adam says something wrong and he loses whatever semblance of friendship he had gained. It frustrates him to no end, but Kai likely isn’t even aware of it. Kai isn’t aware of a lot of things.

“It’s seriously nothing,” Kai says quickly before Adam can have a chance to interject and protest. “Wanna see something cool though?”

He extends a hand out to Adam, and together they walk to one of the broken-down rollercoasters. Adam’s not actually sure what is supposed to be happening, but he’s not one to complain. Kai voluntarily spending time with him is a concept unheard of until now and he doesn’t want to ruin it.

Kai sits, motioning for Adam to do the same. “See, there’s a part of this that connects to one of the ejectors from the ship you crashed-” he pauses to glare at Adam, cracking a smile once he sees how spooked the other boy looks. “I’m just playing, man. Anyway, I think-”

Adam stops paying attention. The beaming sun that had been relentlessly shining upon their group isn’t doing much for him in terms of comfort, and although he enjoys any moments he can get alone with Kai, he’d much rather like to sit in the shade, preferably under the merry-go-round or in the forest around them. Anything to escape this heat.

“Sorry, is there a point of chilling right in the middle of all this sunshine? I swear my insides are overheating.” Adam complains. Kai conjures some fire, which manifests quickly on his fists and seriously-? Not helping at all.

“Maybe I can beat up the sun,” says Kai with that cocky grin of his that makes Adam’s knees buckle a little. “I guess we’d have to be closer to do that though.”

“Closer?”

Kai’s invading his space in the blink of an eye. He has an arm secured around Adam’s middle before he can process what exactly is happening, breath coming out in short puffs on Adam’s collarbone. Adam wraps his own arms around the other boy’s shoulders, too scared to do anything else.

“Kinda like this,” he replies quietly against Adam’s neck. He shivers.

And then Adam can’t feel the ground beneath him. What he can feel is the flickering embers radiating from Kai’s fingers licking at his legs. Dazedly, he wonders if he’s in heaven or hell right now.

“You can open your eyes, dude.”

He almost doesn’t want to because there is a very possible chance he passed out earlier and this is just one of the many bizarre dreams he’s had the pleasure of dreaming lately. They all start and end with shadowy figures drifting inexplicably out of sight in the corner of his vision, and an outstretched pale hand, but Adam has always been too afraid to grab it.

Despite there being no point for doing so, he eventually listens to Kai and cracks a hesitant eye open. They’re well above the specks of trees below, and what Adam believes is the fairground. “Wow, this is incredible,” he breathes out.

Kai seems to grip onto him a bit tighter, but maybe he’s imagining that.

“I was practicing how to fly earlier, it could be useful for later,” Kai explains as if it’s the most casual thing in the world that he not only knows how to control fire, but knows how to fly with it. Adam would point it out if he knew it wasn’t going to result in a petty five-minute argument that usually ends in Kai downplaying the compliment repeatedly while Adam grows more and more frustrated.

“I’m uh, impressed,” he says in an attempt to banish the period of uncomfortable silence they were encroaching the territory of.

He probably imagines the slight red flush that tinges Kai’s cheeks as he smiles at him too. It’s soft and fond enough to have Adam hurriedly breaking eye contact with him to instead focus on the gentle treetops whizzing behind them.

“Did-” Adam’s voice cracks - oh god, why did it do that - “Did you show Mira yet?” Because what Adam doesn’t get, is why Kai would rather show his frenemy-at-best his newfound flight ability when he could have shown off to his crush instead.

“No, why would I?” Kai sounds genuinely confused like he can’t possibly fathom what Adam is hinting towards. Adam considers himself a fairly straight-forward dude most of the time, and Mira has never complained in regards to any communication issues, so he only shrugs. Kai will understand, he just needs a minute.

He does.

“I’m not into Mira, you know,” he states lowly. Kai has got to quit using that voice, it never fails to nearly launch Adam into cardiac arrest. “I think-” Kai coughs. “I’m more into someone else, actually,” His voice raises a few octaves, to the point where Adam winces.

“Cool,” Adam can hear himself reply distantly. “You should tell her.” Who else can it be but the other lovely lady they had encountered, Vanessa? Adam would’ve thought he’d move on from someone who manipulated him quite thoroughly, but he knows first hand how cruel love can be.

“Him.” Kai coughs again, dipping low enough in flight that Adam can nudge the tips of his sneakers through a couple of sparsely interlocked branches.

“You- oh. Um, that’s cool! Great!” Adam says intelligently. He doesn’t want to ponder the intricate details of the Reeve vs. Skeet debate he’s ready to kickstart in his head right now, so he settles on keeping his mouth shut. Kai likely didn’t desire any questions about his potential love interest either.

“Yeah,” The other boy answers, a lopsided goofy grin slowly overtaking his features. It looks unbelievably good on him. “Wow. I can’t believe I finally admitted it. I never thought I’d be able to tell you.”

“Me neither,” Adam chuckles; That action seems like the best response he can give at the moment. He kind of wants to know whether he fancies Reeve or Skeet, but he’s not in the mood to hear his cr- teammate speak adoringly about the enemy team. Or at all, really.

Minutes pass by, the two of them lazily floating a few feet off the ground as Kai slowly descends lower. Adam senses Kai’s eyes on him every once in a while, but whenever he moves his head the barest inch, Kai snaps his gaze to somewhere else.

They land because all good things must come to an end Adam quietly laments.

“That was fun, right?” Kai asks, peering up at Adam through his oddly long eyelashes. He almost sounds vulnerable. Unsurprisingly, that’s the desperation in his head talking.

“Yeah. I had fun, Kai,” They share a small smile, in which Adam thinks he can hear his heartbeat throbbing away somewhere in his skull. Kai’s eyes crinkle at the corners; The noise gets louder.

“I’d prefer to keep this to ourselves for now! I mean, wow that sounds bad, but I just don’t wanna share y-”

“It’s okay, I get it!” Adam flashes what he hopes is a convincing grin. So Kai didn’t want Mira to know he was bisexual/pansexual/a different sexuality Kai hadn’t specified, but he’s hedging his bet on bisexuality. That’s fine. He’s not fond of the excitement that washes over him at the thought of Kai trusting Adam with a secret.

He can definitely say he isn’t a fan either of how Kai smiled at him like he hung the stars in the sky or a euphemism equally as ridiculous.

Nothing prepares him for when Kai laces his fingers securely through Adam’s, and the way he beams at the ground from beneath his red fringe like nothing else exists.

***

“I was wondering when you guys would get back!” Mira exclaims the second she catches sight of her two favorite boys. They’re holding hands; Mira gives herself a reminder to ask Adam what that business is about later. For now, she’s just happy to see them.

“Yeah, I showed Adam something,” Kai winks, making the other boy flush. Adam takes his hand back now that Mira is with them too, even if it slightly pained him to do so.

“Is that so?” Mira asks, quirking an eyebrow in Adam’s direction. ‘Help me,’ he mouths.

***

“Now that we’re alone, I-” Adam jumps off the log he had previously been seated on, struggling to catch his breath from the sudden interruption. “Oops sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya!”

“You could at least warn a guy,” he groans morosely. Mira hides her stifled giggles behind her hand as she nudges Adam over.

“What’s the deal with Kai?” Mira punctuates her question with one grossly exaggerated eyebrow waggle. Adam sort of regrets opening up to her about his Kai situation at all. He’d been relieved to get what had morphed into the biggest problem he’d faced to date off his chest, outside of demon dogs and Death and everything else that had happened, but not when it gave Mira permission to shoot him finger guns every time Kai did something mildly gay.

She still never let him live down the demon monk incident - “You totally cradled him in your arms, dude. And Kai didn’t even pull away!” -  that occurred a week ago. It’s not Adam’s fault that he’s the worst at controlling his damn emotions.

“I can’t say.” He subconsciously wraps his arms around himself. There’s a lump forming in his throat for no discernible reason other than he doesn’t want to admit that Kai confirmed he likes guys, he just doesn’t like Adam. Like hell he’s going to admit that out loud.

Mira frowns. She wraps an arm around Adam’s thin shoulders, tugging him into her side. The obligatory question of what happens goes unspoken, but it doesn’t matter with the way Adam spills his guts out to the open air. Keeping a secret from Mira is like asking him to kill a puppy; He simply can’t do it.

“He likes Reeve or Skeet. I don’t understand why!” He vents purely out of frustration with not only Kai but himself as well. If he were a better leader, or if he was more handsome, then maybe-

“I can hear you overthinking from here, dude.” She gives Adam’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. A wave of guilt washes over him, making him exhale a heavy sigh. It’s hard to summon the energy to plaster a faux smile on presently, but if he was smiling, maybe he would forget that he was sad in the first place.

“It’s fine. I’ll get over it,” he says in an astonishingly level voice for someone who feels as if he is on the verge of a breakdown. Pathetic, really.

Mira doesn’t look convinced in the least, concern seemingly radiating from the small dip of her lips downwards. He silently begs her to let the subject go, and while she’s still looking at him with all the worry only a mom friend can possess, she shakes her head.

“Well, all right. But it’s not healthy for you to bottle up emotions like this, just so you’re aware.”

“I know.”

Mira gets up and wrings her back out, hands flailing wildly in the air for a few seconds before one is extended towards Adam. “Now come on. Kai’s probably worried!” She exclaims cheerfully as she drags both of them back to their temporary campground. Adam supposes he has time to dwell on his dilemma later when his teammates are safely and assuredly asleep.

***

Adam awakens to someone messing with his hair. Or more accurately, someone running a lazy hand along the expanse of his head, intertwining scraggly strands with their own fingers. It’s soothing, and Adam’s tempted to resume sleeping before common sense kicks in. Someone is touching his hair.

He manages to give himself a headrush with how fast he sits up. A wary glance at who was responsible for disturbing his sleep has him believing that he hadn’t actually woken up in the first place. He’s clearly somewhere off in Dreamland, where devil dogs can’t hound him down and where Kai is unabashedly grinning at him as if he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. Because there’s no way that could happen in his waking life.

Except it does, and Adam can feel the spot where Kai’s fingers are woven positively burn. “Good morning! I was wondering when you would get up,” he smiles sweetly. The other boy takes his hand back, still maintaining eye contact with Adam.

Adam must have done something unspeakably evil in his past life, because that’s the only explanation he can come up with pertaining to why Kai is suddenly being so warm around him. Fate had to constantly toy with his feelings like it was nothing, like he was nothing. While he can’t say he’s in a foul mood, thanks to his stupidly dumb feelings for Kai, he doesn’t particularly want to deal with them this early in the morning.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep so late,” stumbles out of Adam’s mouth. He knows damn well why he woke up later than usual but like hell he’ll admit the reason to Kai. He receives a half-hearted shrug and a curt apology from the other boy.

Kai then grasps his hand. Adam’s ninety percent sure he could physically feel his heart stop beating. “Let’s eat breakfast. Oh, and I’m not sure if Mira’s awake yet either.” Odd... Adam had already made the assumption that Mira was awake. Then, does that mean…?

“Were you, um… waiting for me? T-to get up.” He can barely spit out the last three words; The cracked ground beneath them had suddenly become much more interesting.

Kai shoots him a ‘duh’ look, resulting in Adam diving headfirst into a mess of confusion and adoration for the blunt idiot he, unfortunately, has a crush on. “Yeah, is there an issue with that?”

He can’t exactly fathom why Kai would wait for him (were they finally becoming better friends?) other than for company maybe, but that wouldn’t explain him fiddling with Adam’s hair. He’s also starting to give himself a headache, but at least he’s holding hands with Kai.

They don’t separate until Mira wakes up and is strolling towards them.

***

The hand holding happens more and more frequently to the point where Adam’s sure he spends more time with his and Kai’s hands interlocked than they do apart. He’s too afraid to bring it to Kai’s attention, half because he doesn’t want Kai to distance himself again, and half because he gets an admittedly very guilty pleasure out of Kai’s attention. It’s wrong to revel in his friend’s attention as deeply as he’s been doing lately - especially when Kai still has an unconfirmed crush on Reeve or Skeet - but he’s only human.

He had just mastered the art of keeping his traitorous heartbeat in check when Kai reaches for one of his hands, and he swears Kai is on a mission to destroy him.

They don’t do it around Mira; Kai always allows his fingers to drift away milliseconds before she can notice. It’s as if the two of them are in on one huge secret, but what Adam doesn’t understand is why they’re hiding? Is Kai ashamed of being more open around him?

Or is Kai just ashamed of being his friend?

Adam swallows harshly, attempting to ignore the giant lump that had settled itself in his throat. It’s an irrational thought and makes zero sense, but Adam might as well be Boo Boo the Fool. The more he mulls it over, the more it starts to make sense that Kai wouldn’t want to be seen getting along with him when Mira’s around.

He concocts a brief list in his head.

Kai doesn’t have a crush on her if he likes Reeve or Skeet, so it can’t be because of that.

Kai also doesn’t act antagonistic towards him in front of their other teammate, and if he wanted to keep up appearances, surely he would be back to his old ways of trying (and failing) to one-up Adam in everything that happens to them.

Maybe Kai found out about Adam’s crush on him and is searching for ways to let him down gently, but doesn’t want to rope Mira into their problems. Subsequently, that would make Adam an asshole because he’s already discussed his stupid crush on Kai with Mira at least six different times so far without Kai’s knowledge.

Kai must be doing all of this to save his reputation. The only problem is, why would Kai care this much about impressing Mira still? They’ve all been through hell together multiple times, and he’s sure it isn’t about to come to an end anytime soon with their track record thus far. He decides he needs Kai’s input on the whole matter.

***

The next time Adam and Kai find themselves alone, Adam brings up his concerns about Mira with him.

Kai eyes him over, head cocked adorably to the side as he takes it all in. “You think I’m trying to impress Mira?”

Adam can’t fathom why Kai doesn’t see it as an issue. They’re teammates, and Adam considers them both to be his best friends. It doesn’t matter that Adam might see one of them as a soulmate; Kai obviously doesn’t feel the same, so he needs to drop it already.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do or not, we just shouldn’t be keeping any secrets from her,” Adam says. He watches as fear dances across Kai’s eyes, mouth pulled down in discontent.

“I thought you were okay with keeping it secret,” Kai finally says, bitterness laced in the undertones of his voice. Adam can’t seem to figure out why it’s such a big deal to admit that they get along now in front of Mira. It would be better for their morale overall if Mira wasn’t constantly dealing with their petty issues. Granted, they haven’t had a disagreement in a while but there’s always the possibility that Kai could go back to his old ways of picking fights with Adam over nothing. Adam wants to avoid that in any way possible; It isn’t good for his mental health in the slightest.

“She’s our best friend, and I think you should be acting like she is, is all I’m trying to say.”

“Huh?” replies Kai. “I just didn’t think… I mean, would she be okay with-” He pauses to gesture between himself and Adam, eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Why wouldn’t she be?” Adam’s really hoping this isn’t the part where he loses whatever standing he’s been holding with Kai and they revert back to one-sided rivals.

“I-” Kai lets out a frustrated breath. He pulls his knees up to his chest and lets out another angered exhale. “If it would make you happy, I guess I’m fine with telling her.”

Adam feels a tiny pang of guilt in his heart. He hadn’t intended to make Kai uncomfortable, but the other boy is acting like it’s such a big deal. He opts to put an arm around Kai to make up for his lack of a response. To his surprise, Kai leans into it and buries his head into Adam’s shoulder.

“I’ll be right there with you when you tell her, if it’ll make you feel better.”

Kai removes his head from Adam’s shoulder to give him an incredulous look. “Why wouldn’t you be? Weirdo.” It must give him some sense of relief though because Kai’s biting back a couple of giggles.

And then Kai plants a chaste kiss on his cheek.

***

“He kissed me! He literally kissed me!” Adam exclaims when he and Mira find themselves in each other’s company later.

“Was it on the mouth?” Mira asks, and it’s obvious she’s holding back her snickering through the way she keeps bringing her hands to her mouth. Adam hasn’t been able to keep it off his mind all day; Kai was making his crush worse earlier when he grabbed Adam’s hands and gave them yet another kiss, and flashed him one of those smiles Adam swears he could photograph and put in a museum. He’s never had the heart to pull away, to say ‘Kai, you’re ruining my life, and can you stop getting my hopes up because it’s fucking killing me-’

“No!” Adam exclaims. Mira startles at his sudden outburst, but he can’t bring himself to care when Kai’s actions from earlier keep playing in his mind like a broken record on repeat. “But he keeps doing all of these things that make me want to kiss him for real, and I can’t do that because-” He takes a moment to recollect his thoughts, flailing his hands wildly in the air. “Fuck!”

“Oh come on, he’s into you. I don’t know how you’re blind enough to not see this. The guy kissed your cheek and your hands for God’s sakes!” Mira exclaims. As much as Adam appreciates her letting him consistently vent to her, it makes no sense. Why does Kai keep doing things that makes Adam want to positively ravage him?

“You’re forgetting that he likes Skeet or Reeve! I don’t have a chance.” “Did you ever even stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, the guy he likes is you?” Mira says, folding her arms across her chest.

The fantasy of Kai liking him keeps him up the rest of the night.

***

They sit Mira down the minute they’re all awake and ready to take on the day. Adam still feels dead inside, and he’s sure his eyebags reflect the fact that he’s running on three hours of sleep. Nonetheless, his other companions don’t say anything so it must not be that obvious.

“So, uh… Adam and I have something to say…” Kai trails off, sheepishly bringing a hand up to his neck. Mira raises an eyebrow, eyes shining with intrigue.

Kai looks to Adam for strength, who gives him what he hopes is a reassuring grin and a hand squeeze. Kai smiles back confidently, turning his attention back to Mira. “Okay so… Adam and I are dating and I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable telling you, but he told me you wouldn’t mind and I-”

Adam is drifting half in and half out of the confession due to his eyelids’ constant drooping, but the word that instantly snaps him out of his stupor is ‘dating.’ Kai and him are what?!

“We’re dating?!” He shouts at the exact same time that Mira bursts out with a similar reaction. Adam frantically surveys his surroundings before his eyes land on a distraught Kai’s expression, hands dropping meekly to his sides.

“W-what?” Kai asks timidly before he turns his gaze to Mira, who’s staring at both of them weirdly.

“Since when were we dating?!” Adam yells out. He doesn’t mean to sound this alarmed, but the boy he’s certain he’s in love with at this point just stated that they were dating and- What even happened to the crush that Kai was harboring on Reeve or Skeet? Did Kai like him this entire time? Was he joking?!

“We- I-... y-you didn’t know?” Kai runs his hands through his hair and squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m so fucking stupid, I thought you knew when I confessed to you a-and…” He opens his eyes suddenly, revealing the few lone tears rapidly making their way down his face. “I didn’t think you wanted to k-kiss yet because we were taking it slow but-... oh my god you probably don’t even like me.”

Adam and Mira share wide-eyed, open-mouthed expressions together while Kai furiously rubs at his eyes. It takes a solid minute for Kai’s entire rant to kick in, but at that point, Kai’s already running away from them.

Adam is a huge fucking idiot.

***

“Kai?” Adam calls out. He’s been walking around the forest and nearing the edges of the carnival grounds again for a good half-hour now, but he hasn’t seen a single hint that Kai is around the area. God, he hopes Kai isn’t lost, or God forbid, encountered another enemy. He screams his name again in vain.

He feels awful for leaving Mira behind with no explanation of what’s going on, but he hardly knows what’s happening himself. Kai really thought they were dating the entire time…? It would certainly explain the hand-holding, and the cheek kiss that still makes Adam feel warm inside.

Speaking of, he’s starting to sweat in this particular area. It’s not that hot outside today, which is puzzling, but he immediately halts in place once he sees a small lick of fire land on a branch only to immediately fizzle out. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he glances up to find Kai curled up on a peculiarly wide branch, sniffling softly to himself.

“Kai, will you get down from there?” He requests, leaning up against the tree so the sun doesn’t damage his eyes as much. Kai self-consciously wraps his arms around himself, eyes glazed over as he hangs his head and doesn’t respond. Adam supposes he’ll have to go up there himself.

A few minutes of scaling the moderately-sized tree later (in which Adam barely manages to prevent slipping and falling on his ass once), he nudges Kai over with his shoulder. “I- I um… didn’t mean to make it sound like I was rejecting you or anything earlier. I’m actually kind of confused.” Adam admits, although he might as well be talking to air with the way Kai avoids any sort of contact with him like he’s poisonous or something.

“What’s so confusing about it? Friends don’t wait for friends to get up while playing with their hair, or hold each others’ hands so often, at least not the kind of friends I think I’d have,” Kai says quietly. His body is still angled away from Adam’s so it’s a tad hard to hear him, but the pieces fit together in his mind anyway. Kai is a naturally affectionate person, at least from what he’s perceived of him so far, but the little things such as hand-holding or cheek kisses must mean a lot to the younger boy. Adam wants to vocalize just how much of an idiot he’s been, how he wants to hug Kai close and never let go, but he doesn’t.

He maneuvers Kai around instead until their bodies are pressed against each other, and kisses the boy he’s wanted to be with since they woke up in that awful bunker, nameless and anxiety-riddled. Kai’s quick to encircle Adam with his arms, pulling him impossibly closer as Adam tries to convey all of what he’s feeling through a simple press of lips to lips.

“I’m sorry. It’s always been you.” Adam says with a small smile once they naturally break apart. Kai beams at him like the rest of the world doesn’t exist, and Adam smiles back in a manner he’s reserved just for Kai.

***

When Adam goes to sleep that night with Kai by his side, he watches the shadowy figures phase in and out of the corners of his eyes. The pale hand is extended towards him like it always is, but this time he holds on tight.

[sign-from-god-complex]

A Gift From Me To You - Chapter 1

Summary: It was nothing really. Just a tiny little doodle on his inner wrist—a flower, something resembling a large daisy, but not quite. It wasn’t anything to get worked up over. Except, of course, for the most important fact: Virgil didn’t draw it.

Some people didn't ever get a soulmark, and that was fine. The four of them had, more or less successfully, resigned themselves to living their lives without a soulmate; that was just the way it was and there was nothing they could do about it. Of course, it could never be that simple.

Pairing: LAMP/CALM

Warnings: Brief suicide mention (let me know if there’s anything else I should warn for!)

AO3 link

It was nothing really. Just a tiny little doodle on his inner wrist—a flower, something resembling a large daisy, but not quite. It wasn’t anything to get worked up over. Except, of course, for the most important fact: Virgil didn’t draw it.

Virgil knew about soulmates. Most of the population were lucky enough to be linked to a certain person that was more suited to them than anyone else. The link was expressed through a drawing on their wrist which somehow related to their relationship, called a soulmark. The mark could be anything from music notes, to a shared favourite food, to a brand logo, and it usually showed up when you were around 5 or so years of age, but sometimes it was as late as 10. The link wasn’t intrinsically romantic; a person’s soulmate didn’t have to be their lover and just as commonly ended up being a lifelong best friend instead.

People had theorised for millennia over the origin of soulmarks, but Virgil hadn’t listened or cared. Because when he said, “Most of the population”, he meant the part of the population he wasn’t included in. Virgil didn’t have a soulmate.

Or so he thought.

Virgil frantically searched through his day for some reasoning behind the ink on his skin. Did Remy doodle on him while he wasn’t paying attention in class? Did he press his wrist up against someone else’s drawing that hadn’t dried fully? Did he do it in his sleep?  

He was fully aware he was being ridiculous, but when something you’ve believed for your entire life—practically built your life around—turns out to not be true, it’s kind of hard to stay calm. It’s like finding out you’re adopted or finding out Pluto isn’t a planet. It was entirely unprecedented and not entirely unwelcome. So, in the midst of his panic, he called his best friend Remy.

The phone rang a few times before he heard a voice on the other end.

“Wassup?”

Remy sounded slightly groggy, and then Virgil remembered it was 2 am and he’d been just about to go to bed before he noticed the mark. Virgil felt a stab of guilt go through him for waking Remy up from the very little sleep they managed to get. He was being silly, this could have easily waited until the morning, he shouldn’t bother them wi-

“Virge, it’s fine, gurl,” Remy said, interrupting Virgil’s spiralling thoughts, “I can nap in class if I really need the sleep. We both know I don’t understand the lesson either way.”

Remy always seemed to know exactly what Virgil was thinking and managed to cut him off at the pass before he panicked too much. It was one of the reasons they were such good friends, considering how different they were.

Remy was a massive extrovert. They lived for parties and hangouts and though Virgil remained their best friend, it was rare to see Remy without someone else around. Virgil, on the other hand, hated meeting people and kept to himself as best he could. Remy was pretty much his only friend—although he had acquaintances that he liked, he didn’t feel as comfortable around them as he did around Remy. No matter how annoying they were sometimes.

Honestly, if Virgil hadn’t known Remy already had a soulmate, he would have claimed they were the source of Virgil’s mark.

Virgil cleared his throat, “Rem, you didn’t, like, doodle on me in class or anything, did you?”

His voice shook a little due to all the emotions that were rushing through him right now. Virgil could hear Remy’s confusion through the phone.

“No? What’s going on, Virge? You’re worrying me.”

“Cause, I, uh-”

Preparing to tell Remy about his mark, he glanced down at his wrist briefly and his breath caught in his throat.

His soulmark had changed.

What was once the outline of a simple flower had become a small bouquet. On his wrist were about half a dozen daisy-like flowers, all in shades of blue, purple and red, and tied up neatly in a golden bow. It was gorgeous, bright and shining and more than he deserved.

He heard Remy calling his name through the haze that had descended upon him.

“Virgil, I swear to god, do not make me come over there and kick your-”

“Sorry, Remy,” Virgil replied, “I just… I think I have a soulmark.”

There was a good 5 seconds of silence before Remy spoke up again.

“What?”

They sounded completely baffled, like this was the very last thing they had been expecting Virgil to say, which was completely justified. People didn’t just get soulmarks. Virgil was 17, the time for him to develop a soulmark had long since passed. It was entirely unheard of…

And yet.

“Are you… are you sure, Virge? Like, it couldn’t just be a prank or something?”

Remy sounded hesitant to suggest that Virgil’s supposed soulmark could be anything but genuine. Making fun of someone for not having a mark was hugely cruel, but, of course, it happened anyway. Virgil had definitely gone through his fair share of bullying due to his lack of a soulmark, and therefore, his lack of a soulmate. But, unless the person pranking him was entirely incorporeal and able to wipe his skin completely clean and draw something new without him noticing (highly, highly unlikely, but technically not impossible), there’s no way this could be a prank.

“No, it changed, Remy. It, uh, it’s different now than it was when I called you.”

A beat.

“Oh, well that’s…” Remy took a deep breath, “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

Clearly, neither of them had any idea what to do in this situation.

“This is a good thing, right?” Remy sounded unsure.

Soulmates were something Virgil had always been kind of cynical about, but mostly that came from the culture surrounding it. It hurt, being left out of something that people seemed so excited about. Soulmates dominated almost every form of media and whenever a character didn’t have a soulmark it was always a weird point of tension. Usually, these characters were robots or aliens or just plain “weird”.

Truly though, Virgil hadn’t longed for a soulmark, he’d longed for a change in the culture. He hadn’t thought of himself as weird or broken, no matter what bullies at school would say. He realised there was a percentage of the population who just didn’t have the same experiences as the rest, but just because they’re small doesn’t mean they’re less important. He’d built his identity around the belief that he didn’t need to have a soulmark to be worthy or deserving of love of any kind. So, getting one… left a lot for him to process.

He chuckled lightly, “I’m not sure? I think so? I… don’t know what I feel right now.”

“That’s… that’s fair.”

There were a few more moments where neither of them said anything, just thinking, before Virgil stirred into motion.

“We can talk about this more at school tomorrow, Rem, yeah? I think it would be best if we both got some sleep.”

A yawn was heard from Remy at the mention of sleep and Virgil’s mouth quirked up at the corners slightly.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, sounds good,” they replied and Virgil could hear the sound of rustling blankets as Remy moved further back under the covers, “Goodnight, Virge.”

“Goodnight, Rem.”

-------------------------

Roman had noticed his soulmark almost the second it had appeared. He’d spent the evening running lines with some of his friends in the drama club, as they were coming up on their performance of Anything Goes, and Roman had been cast as the male lead.

The auditorium had long since been closed and so the small group had retired to Roman’s house to continue practising. Roman had insisted his parents wouldn’t mind, after all, they weren’t likely to be home anyway.

They’d been running through You’re The Top when Roman had glanced down at his script to clarify a line and stopped dead in his tracks.

“Roman?” Valerie questioned, “It’s your line, dude.”

Roman didn’t reply, his eyes fixated on his wrist where a small doodle of a flower sat. Where did it come from? He was quite sure it hadn’t been there before, he would have noticed it! Wouldn’t he? His world was swirling with so many emotions he almost felt he had to sit down. But first, he turned to Valerie.

“Did you draw this?”

His voice was calm, too calm for the situation. His acting skills were kicking into high gear, assisting him in keeping his emotions under wraps for just a moment longer.

“What? Roman, I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Valerie replied.

She didn’t, of course. Roman knew Valerie would never do something so cruel to him. Valerie was the Reno to his Billy, both for the purposes of the musical and also in real life. They were excellent friends and any romantic feelings either of them may have had at one point or another was put into the past long ago, as they both had someone they loved now.

Valerie knew his lack of a soulmark was a touchy subject. Roman was a romantic at heart, that was clear to see within one interaction with him. As soon as he’d learned about the concept of soulmates at 4 years old, Roman had been obsessed with the idea that there was a perfect person out there for him. Out there in the great wide world, there was a person who understood him better than anyone else ever could and they didn’t even know him yet. It was intoxicating, believing that you’re loved at your core from the moment you’re born, waiting for them to show themselves.

So of course, Roman’s 5th birthday went by without a soulmark. And then his 6th, and his 7th and his 8th. By the time his 11th birthday came he thought maybe his soulmark was just a little late, but when he reached his 12th birthday he’d finally given up hope. He’d locked himself away in his room for over a week, sobbing and screaming about how it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair! He deserved to be loved like that! Why wasn’t he good enough?

Roman had moved past the immediate rejection he had felt, but to this day he still felt a pang of sadness every time he watched a romance movie or saw couples in public holding hands and laughing, matching soulmarks on display. He knew he didn’t have to have a soulmark to have love, but… sometimes he forgot.

Roman’s eyes filled with tears as he struggled to comprehend what he was seeing. He spun around to glare at the other cast members in the room, his face stormy. He thrust his wrist out towards them.

“Did one of you do this?!” he yelled, his voice almost breaking, “This isn’t funny! Did you do this?!”

The rest of the cast shook their heads frantically, looking slightly terrified by Roman’s demeanour. Though he may be a drama queen, none of them had ever seen him quite like this. This wasn’t drama, this was pain.

Roman was… well, he wasn’t sure what he was about to do, but he was about to do something, except he was interrupted. Another cast member, Terrence, pointed to his wrist and said, “Roman…”

Roman pulled his wrist back to look at it again, the little doodle of a flower still ingrained in his mind, except… this wasn’t a little doodle. This wasn’t what he’d seen at all. It had changed.

And the bottom dropped out from under him and he was falling.

He sobbed the same way he had 5 years ago, completely unabashed and totally lost. And amidst all the despair and confusion, there was hope rising in his chest. Hope that he’d let go of so long ago, hope that maybe, there was a perfect person for him, hope that maybe he was loved after all.

And so with Valerie wrapping her arms around Roman’s shaking form…

Roman broke.

-------------------------

Patton was woken up by a call from his boyfriend. Quickly wiping the sleep out of his eyes, he scrambled to grab his phone from the nightstand and answer it before it rang through.

“Heya, Ro,” he mumbled, still not quite awake.

A quick glance at his clock revealed it to be 4 in the morning, which was slightly concerning. Although Roman didn’t answer to any kind of sleeping schedule, he didn’t usually call Patton during the night. Pat would often wake up to an array of texts about anything from the cool bird he saw to how much he loved him, but calls were reserved for more immediate problems and never past 11 pm. He hoped everything was alright.

A closer listen indicated things may very well not be alright. Roman’s breathing was kind of unsteady and Patton could hear sniffing like he’d been crying. He immediately shot up straight in his bed, turning on the bedside lamp to wake him up a bit.

“Ro? Love, are you alright? What’s going on? Do you need me to come and get you?”

A laugh was heard from Roman, though it was slightly watery and quiet.

“No, mi corazón, I- I just need you to do me a favour, okay?"

Patton nodded, before realising Roman couldn’t see him.

“Yeah, okay, Ro. What is it?”

“Can you just… just look down at your wrist?”

Patton sighed.

“Ro, we’ve talked about this…”

Patton knew his boyfriend got insecure about their lack of soulmarks. It was something he’d confessed to after Patton had confronted him over dropping his hand when in public. At the time it had hurt; it had made him feel like he was some dirty little secret or that Ro was ashamed of him. After Roman had admitted what was truly going on, though, all Patton wanted to do was swaddle him up in a blanket and kiss him until he realised how much he was loved.

Patton had been raised by four loving parents who didn’t all share a soulmark. Their relationship was complicated, Patton knew, but he also knew that it was wonderful. As far as he was concerned, soulmates were a building block, a foundation. They may give you a place to start, a place to call home when you’re unsure about where to go, but you can build those things for yourself! You can build a foundation and you can build a home, with a family—or a found family—there to stay by your side.

A soulmate may be an important relationship you have, but it shouldn’t be the only important relationship you have, and not having a soulmate just meant having to form more important relationships by yourself. It doesn’t make you any less deserving of love, it just means you have to do the work yourself to find it.

He’d talked to Roman about this quite a few times when he was feeling particularly down about his lack of soulmark, and he’d really seemed like he was moving forward. So this request felt like 3 steps backwards.

“No, Patton, please. Just… do this for me. Please.”

Roman sounded like he was on the edge of breaking apart, so Patton agreed, looking down at his wrists in the lamplight and…

Oh.

His breath left him in one big rush. There, on his wrist, was a beautiful drawing of a bouquet of flowers. A drawing, he surely did not do. He rotated his wrist back and forth, watching mesmerised as the colours shimmered.

“Ro…” Patton whispered, voice breathless, “How did you… ”

“Do you have one too? Patton, I-” his words were coming out shaky now, rushed and teary, “I didn't understand and I thought it was a joke but I just had to know and I-”

Patton pulled the covers back and rushed to stand up, grabbing his keys from off his chest of drawers.

“Roman, where are you?”

He didn’t even bother changing out of his pyjamas, just stuffed his feet into his sneakers and carefully crept down the stairs. He knows that if one of his parents caught him they would still let him go, but they would insist on driving him there and would probably ask for some kind of explanation. An explanation Patton didn’t have.

“I’m at th-the park, near my house,” Roman managed to get out through his increasingly quick breaths, “I just, I had a breakdown in front of everyone and I needed to think and I can’t-”

“You’re alright, sweetheart, you’re fine. Just breathe. I’ll be there in 5, okay?”

After an answering okay from Roman, Patton hung up the call. He quickly scribbled down a note to leave on the kitchen counter just in case one of his parents woke up to find him missing, before he rushed out to the car and started the drive to the park.

With all his worrying over Roman, Patton had barely had time to examine his own feelings on the situation. It was clear Roman had spontaneously gained a soulmark too, and considering the odds that more than two people would mysteriously gain a soulmark in one night, Patton assumed they were matching. Which was… wow. That was amazing.

He loved Roman, he knew that already. It hadn’t mattered to him in the slightest that neither of them had a soulmark, but he knew this was something Ro worried about. Once he got past the mess of this evening, Patton was happy that Roman would be a little bit more sure that Patton truly did love him. It did, of course, raise the question of why and how they’d even gained these soulmarks, but that wasn’t for Patton to worry about. Right now, he just had to focus on driving and getting to his boyfriend.

-------------------------

Logan hadn’t noticed the mark until later that day, considering he followed something resembling a sleep schedule.

To Logan, this had begun simply as any other day would. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, got changed and went downstairs to make breakfast. It was all done on autopilot, a morning routine that he’d gone through so many times he didn’t even have to think about it anymore. Until he tried to start breakfast.

He placed the bread in the toaster and then searched around for a moment, trying to find his Crofters. His Dad loved to hide the jars so that he could steal them himself. Logan had told him many times that he was the adult who was supplying him with the Crofters and if he wanted some he could just buy more. His Dad responded by saying that things just tasted better when they were stolen, to which Logan would roll his eyes and take the jelly to begin his meal.

After opening a few cupboards, Logan could see his jar on the top shelf, barely hidden behind a box of cereal. Logan was just tall enough to reach it, standing on his tip-toes and stretching out. He almost had it when something caught his eye.

His long-sleeved black button up was beginning to get slightly too small, so as he stretched the sleeves didn’t quite reach the end of his arms. And there, peaking out of the fabric, was something colourful on his wrist. Momentarily forgetting his Crofters, he pulled his sleeve back to get a closer look and stared in shock and awe at what he found. If you had gotten close enough to him, you may have had heard him make a whirring sound, akin to a computer that’s been given input it doesn’t understand.

He had a soulmark. He had… a soulmark. He had- fuck.

This went against everything he’d believed about himself for years.

Logan didn’t do emotions. He was logical, and there was nothing logical about emotions. Emotions were subjective and messy and caused more trouble than they were worth. His friends had often tried to convince him by pointing out all the positive emotions you can experience as well—things like love and joy and comfort and excitement, and sure. Those things weren’t unpleasant to experience, but they didn’t make up for all the negative emotions—the things like sadness and pain and grief and heartache and longing.

Emotions like those were what took his mother away from him before he was barely old enough to understand what it meant. Emotions like those are what forced Logan to have dial 911 to tell them his father wasn’t breathing and he didn’t understand why and he didn’t know what to do and if he loses him he’d lose all he had left.

Emotions were… too much.

No. Soulmates were nothing more than a fantastical idea to promote heartbreak and pain, and Logan didn’t need that.

But it seemed the universe disagreed.

In a barely lucid state, Logan walked over to the medicine cabinet and grabbed out some bandages, wrapping them around his arm. If anyone asked, he could just say he’d strained it from typing too much. Luckily, he was ambidextrous, so writing with his right hand wouldn’t be so difficult. It wouldn’t work forever, but it would work until he found a more permanent solution.

So Logan returned to his breakfast, spreading Crofters on his toast and finishing preparing for the day.

A day like any other.

-------------------------

Chapter 2

[jessiewre]

Day 52

Tues 25th Feb

#prawnsforBarry 🍤🍤🍤

We sat at breakfast excited to have our, sorry Phil’s, new mustard accompaniment. We even managed to convince Wendy the waitress to try it. She said she liked it, but it was hard to tell if she was just being polite or not!

As had become a daily occurrence, we began to discuss when we should leave Watamu and move on. When we would actually start travelling again. Whenever we had this conversation, we seemed to add on a day - and so far we’d done this at least 4 times. We had somehow ended up on holiday while on holiday.

With Phil’s run on the Sunday, we knew we had to move and agreed we should arrive in Moshi (Tanzania) by Friday at the latest. So when Philly Tours discovered there was a daily direct bus from Mombasa to Moshi, it was decided - we would go to Mombasa on the Weds to get the 7am bus the next day. Or the Thurs. Ok probably the Thursday.

Ok well with that plan in place, we went to see my little tailor mate to order more clothes didn’t we! They were so nice and cheap, it made sense to use this opportunity to replace the pair I lost while flailing about in the Nile. So Phil ordered an extra pair of shorts and I asked for two pairs, plus a pair of culottes style trousers. I personally wanted to get the same sizing Phil had for his birthday shorts, as they were soooo comfy, but Phil said they were a little too baggy and ill fitting. He had a point to be fair, so the man measured me up but I tried hard to make it clear that I didn’t want the clothes to be too tight and uncomfortable. Watch this space.

After that, we went to the pool and as we approached, I could see that Barry was lay on the far side. He had his shades on and hadn’t noticed us yet.

‘Barry’s over there Phil’ I whispered.

‘I know’ he said ‘But I can’t be arsed right now, I’ll chat with him later’.

But the attraction of Phil was too much for Barry and he could smell him for sure. Within 30 seconds, Barry was out of his lounger and on his way over. Oh we could see that he wasn’t happy from his walk. And he didn’t need to be asked why, so he saved us a job and launched right into it.

‘I was meant to go on that boat trip today weren’t I.’

We nodded along.

‘They pissed me off so I sacked it off’.

Oh shitt. There’d been some drama in Barrytown. Well we were in by this point, so we couldn’t help but dig for more. Not that we needed to ask, we would have definitely found out either way.

‘Oh dear, what happened??’

‘Well...’

Barry took a deep breath.

‘Some bloke met me at the front of the hotel, but there was no tuc tuc, so I said Where’s my tuc tuc? And he pointed to the beach and said Boat here. So we walked to the beach and there was no boat so I said Where’s the boat mate?? and THEN he pointed to the end of the bay. He was saying I had to walk to the other bay! So that pissed me off. That pissed me right off. I told him, I said, I don’t like walkin’. Ya know?So we eventually got to the other bay and there was a load of Italians sat about waiting for the boats and I’m looking at these boats thinkin’...I don’t fancy that. They were not even that big these boats and I thought Ya know what, I can’t be arsed with this. So I got up and walked back. Fuk it. Only lost $20, I don’t even care’

And that was Barry’s boat trip.

Being the great friend that he is, Phil got into the pool with angry Barry to cool him down and comfort him with kind words and a quick head rub.

Kiddddinnnnnnggg

They just chilled in the pool and actually had a lovely chat about food, Barry telling Phil about the food available at his local in Cyprus.

‘You’ve got your Pork chops, Lamb, Olive oil, Salt, pepper - its gotta be dun’ mate’

Yes Barry, quite.

Despite the inspiring meat chat, we had a cheap and simple VEGETARIAN lunch at our hotel consisting of rice, lentil Dahl, spinach and chapati and actually got ourselves organised enough to do an activity. Unheard of! I swear, the longer we had stayed in Watamu, the lazier we’d become, and an excursion out was a much needed rarity. We arrived to the Turtle Ocean Conservation and everywhere you looked were recycled items lovingly used to ingeniously build and decorate. The gardens were lined with glass bottles as flower bed edging and there were sculptures of animals & big displays made from plastic waste. It was one of those places that had a special feel about it, like it was made out of pure love and good vibes. Real wholesome like 🤓

Ruth, a passionate & knowledgeable environmentalist, showed us around the small centre and explained the many problems they (the turtles & sea life) were facing on a daily basis - pollution, lack of education, plastic waste, over-fishing, poaching - to name but a few. They had one resident turtle in at that moment. She’d been found in a fisherman’s net and was struggling with various health problems. They hoped to nurse her back to health and eventually release her back into the ocean. Luckily turtles never formed bonds or any attachement with their human carers, so once they were healthy, the release was easy - they swam straight off without looking back. It was even more important to get them better if they were a female turtle as they had the potential to reproduce. It could take months or even years before she was better - one turtle was in for 6 years before its release!

Female turtles can have over 2000 eggs in a lifetime, but due to all the obstacles they now face, it’s likely that only 1 or 2 of those eggs will go on to have their own eggs. People often think that turtles are doing really well as they see lots of pictures of them and they have so many eggs in their lives, but its a misconception. The population is rapidly decreasing.

We ended the tour passing past an entrance to a garden area and I asked Ruth if we could go in. She said yes, but she didn’t seem to think it was really worth a look. I don’t know why, as there were some amazing art sculptures in there. There was a huge jellyfish made from plastic bags and a massive turtle made of bottle tops, plus there was a sort of turtle graveyard with all the shells they’d collected from the poaching. The whole area was like a sort of secret garden, with winding paths and hidden corners and it was clear to me that this garden could be utilised and made more of a feature for the centre. It would be far more engaging by adding a challenge or treasure hunt type activity. I discussed it with Ruth and explained my idea, saying they could have a simple paper sheet with tasks & questions to answer. They could sell for like $1, and then kids could go round the garden finding the answers by using fact boards placed around the garden. SICK IDEA RIGHT!?
Well she thought so too, and said she was definitely going to make it happen when the next volunteers arrived! WOOP WOOP 🙌. Shame we were leaving Watamu and couldn’t stay to help. I would have smashed that. I decided I’d drop her an email afterwards to check up on the idea and see if she needed any help with it. And get a cut of the profits obvs.

The whole centre runs purely from donations and running their tours, so if you would like to donate to help the turtles, every little helps. I will post a link up after this post.

Phil had already planned to use our trip out as an opportunity to do a run and so donned on all his gear and headed off while I waited for a tuc tuc. The driver and I then overtook Phil halfway back and even the driver said Phil was ‘very fast’. I smiled proudly and agreed with him. I waited for him to finish that sentence with. ‘...for a muzungu’ but he didn’t. Wow it was a proper compliment.

We went for another late afternoon dip in the sea accompanied by a beach bar beer, and Barry the stalker appeared in the bar next to ours - it was the same bar he went to every evening to be fair. A man of habit was our Barry.

No point sitting on different tables though Barry eh...so he followed his hearts desire and came over to sit with Phil. I was there obviously, but we all know by now Barry only has eyes for Phil.

‘Someone’s sat in my seat tonight’ he said, nodding towards ‘his’ bar as he arrived.

Nightmare. Barry had rocked up to his bar and someone had sat in his favourite seat. What an absolute joke.

Phil and Barry discussed many things, one being Barry’s marriage and subsequent divorce. Why didn’t it work out I wondered? No doubt there were various reasons, but maybe Barry going to the pub 3 or 4 nights a week didn’t help. Just a thought. But for Barry it was ‘necessary’ to have his pub time. Essential. I asked whether his wife (sorry, ex-wife) ever went out, or was she just at home with their child, while he was at the pub and he said ‘I gave her every opportunity to go out with her friends’. I choked on my drink laughing as it reminded me of something Phil says sarcastically on a regular basis - ‘Thank you for the opportunity Jess’.

But my favourite topic of the evening was Barry’s ‘banter’ chat.

‘Phil, do you have banter with your mates?’

He didn’t wait for a reply

‘Cos I do.’

I interjected at this point to mention that we both enjoyed dabbling in a spot of banter from time to time, but Barry was a mans man and I’m not sure he heard me. Boys will be boys right.

‘Me and my mates used to go to this one pub a couple of nights a week and bloody hell the banter was ‘ilarious. One time, my mate went to the loo and we barricaded the door. Completely blocked it, he couldn’t get out! Oh we had sucha laugh. Another time, this guy started a fight with my mate, over nuffing, and we all jumped on, then the barman - he was a big lad - he just picked the fella up and THREW him out the door! Honestly it was HILARIOUS. Oh ha and once, we got a painting that was on the wall, took it off, and we screwed it to the ceiling. Oh god, the landlord didn’t find it for weeks! Honestly Phil, so funny mate....’

 

Listening to Barry’s bountiful banter tales of mischief and man fun was thoroughly entertaining (gosh imagine the thrills of it. I can’t wait to get home and do the painting on the ceiling trick at my, sorry, Mum and Dads house) but I decided to leave them to it and walk up to my tailor bloke to collect the items before he closed.

My plan was to try the new items on and give feedback if necessary. But by the time I walked down the beach and then the pitch black beach road at high speed, I was sweating so profusely that I wasn’t thinking straight. I lost approximately 3 litres of sweat trying on the various shorts and trousers only to discover they were FAR too tight for me - but the boss guy wasn’t even there and I was SO hot that I just paid up and ran out of the shack. As I walked back along the beach, I already decided I would have to go back the next morning to get the trousers changed at the very least.

By the time I got back to the lads, Barry and Phil had settled in for the night and had even got themselves double stacked chairs to sit on for additional support (Barry was not a small chap). My plan to eat at a nice restaurant I’d spotted was rapidly fading away and in a desperate attempt to entice me to warm to the idea of a romantic meal for 3 on the beach, Phil announced he wanted prawns for dinner.

Now let me tell you - Phil has never, EVER, in his life ordered prawns. He has occasionally eaten prawns off my plate, and ONLY when I have thoroughly de-shelled and prepped them as though he was a baby (or Roy McCusker). So I could hardly say No could I, and to be honest, I was impressed by his boldness and also intrigued to see how the hell he was going to handle de-shelling prawns for the first time in his life. All with an audience (ok, just Barry). This was going to be a sight to see.

After we ordered the food though, Phil decided to announce he was going for a quick shower, so Barry and I finally got some time to ourselves. Great. It’s what we’d both been craving.

I stuck with what I know and chatted about different countries etc and ended up showing Barry some pictures of Mexico on my phone. Easy win. But suddenly a WhatsApp message popped up on the screen and it was a video of Phil singing as he got into the shower. I VERY quickly swiped it away and thought PHEW, I’ve just about got away with that one. I continued to show pictures of Mexican cenotes when another message appeared. This one was something like this

🤪🥰😍

Ok well this one was also cringe, so I quickly shifted the phone away to turn it onto airplane mode.

And thank god I did, as the next message Phil sent me popped up on the screen just as I moved it from Barry’s view:

#prawnsforBarry

Ok so at this point, I told Barry the phone was no longer working.

Phil returned (THANK GOD FOR THAT) wearing the newly altered mustard shirt, but Barry pointed that the pocket was still on the wonk. Dammit he was right as well. During the hour wait for these prawns, the topic I’d of how we met was bought up. I happily told Barry we met in a gay club and that we both had best friends who were gay. That’s right Barry. GAY. Oooh how was this going to go down I wondered...

We started off ok. Barry said he used to know a guy at work and he invited him to some of his dinner parties a few times. How nice of you Barry.

Lovely. But where’s the ‘but’...?

Ah ha, here it is

‘I don’t have a problem with it...’

Yes Barry, go on...

‘I don’t have a problem with it...but...’ (there it was) ‘...but when it comes up on TV and there’s two blokes kissing, I mean, ya know I don’t wana see that’. Barry pulled a face of disgust.

It was my turn to jump in

‘But I suppose two girls kissing is ok to see?’

Barry raised his eyebrows and avoided eye contact.

‘Well...you don’t see so much of that do you, its always blokes’

‘Apart from in porn right? Lots of men don’t mind gay kissing when its women doing it and its for their gratification. Kind of ironic really isn’t it!’ I said.

What I also wanted to say was:

I hate to break it to you Barry but you DO have a problem with it.

People are allowed to be uncomfortable with it, that is their right, but they need to understand that therefore they DO have a problem with it. And if that’s the case, then it would be better for everyone if those people kept their prejudice and judgement on the matter completely to themselves. It is homophobic to say ‘I don’t wana see that’ and talking like that is not helpful to anyone.

But what I actually explained to Barry was that of course he was not alone in his discomfort and many men and some women of his generation, and other generations too, would feel uncomfortable. This was likely due to the fact they had not been bought up to see gay culture and had been surrounded by homophobic language, media and culture in their life. If they were conscious and aware about why they felt the way they did, they might feel more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I’m not sure how much of it he took in. Things went rapidly downhill after this when I mentioned the plastic straw issue to the waiter and Barry forgot he’d already told Phil about his Greta Thunberg joke meme (he definitely didn’t know it was a meme, but it was a meme). I managed to hear properly this time. Are you ready? Apologies in advance for this.

He described it as a picture of Greta Thunberg and at the top of it, it said ‘F**k the climate’ and at the bottom it said ‘I’ve discovered c**k’..

Not only was it a bizarre and offensive, it was not funny.

What IS funny is how a 70 year old man was so uncomfortable with two men kissing, but completely comfortable making a gross sexual joke about an autistic child.

Phil spoke up in response this time and said ‘Wow I mean, its pretty rude and its not really very funny. Anything she does for the climate is fantastic really’, while I said something like ‘Wow, isn’t she like 15 years old??’. To which Barry awkwardly said he thought she was 16. COOL WELL THAT MAKES IT OK THEN MATE.

So anyway - #prawnsforBarry - Phil somehow dealt with the prawns completely independent of my help which was actually unbelievable and I glowed with pride. The pace at which he was able to consume his dinner was far slower than he would have liked due to the amount of prep work required, but he got on with it like a trooper. His achievements of combating prawns alongside not being a sexist homophobe really shone that night and we went back to the hotel agreeing that we’d have dinner just us two the next day.