#wow look I'm finally doing this
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woke up from a dead sleep last night realizing I could make soroku flavored pitch pearl and no one could stop me
edit: you know what? I'm feral and I won't apologize. more under the cut bc this is my house
I slammed this out all at once so I apologize for the quality but I'm having EMOTIONS
so imagine. bc of the way Danny was quickly resuscitated, his ghost only barely started forming. With the excess blast of ectoplasm from the portal being created, that little whisp was given form even after Danny's soul returned to his body.
except this ghost (Phantom) slowly comes into consciousness while trapped in Danny's body. they're separate entities sharing one body, but Phantom doesn't really have a sense of self right away. he pieces together vague fragments of Danny's memory to get a basic understanding of the world, and is mostly just observing like a backseat passenger.
Phantom starts reflexively protecting Danny, his powers and instincts bleeding through when his emotions are high. Danny doesn't really transform, and his personality doesn't totally shift that much at first because Phantom’s mind isn't complex yet. but as time goes on, and Danny has tense conversations with ghosts, Phantom realizes that's what he is. he's a ghost, somehow trapped in his old body. and even now, this early on, he already feels separate. he doesn't have all the memories Danny has.
this slowly turns into horror. into rage. sorrow, mourning a life he never got and will never get to have. forever trapped behind the eyes of someone else, never able to interact with the world. Phantom's rage eventually boils over until it allows him short bursts of taking over Danny's body. it starts out small–a stray hand moving without his consent, knees locking up, ghost abilities going awry. Danny can start feeling emotions that don't belong to him. get vague impressions, almost hears a voice inside him.
and eventually, Phantom is able to fully take over. this is when Danny “transforms". at first, Danny blacks out because his consciousness isn't used to being shoved into the back seat. but eventually, he's awake for these “episodes", trapped in the back of his mind while Phantom controls his body. this only happens when ghost stuff is happening, when Phantom feels threatened enough. he's not protecting Danny, he's protecting himself. Phantom knows instinctively that if Danny dies, he dies too. he's not a normal ghost, he wouldn't be freed. he'd simply disappear.
at one point after a fight, Phantom can feel Danny struggling to take back control. and he talks to Danny for the first time, acknowledges he's there. asks how it's fair that Danny is the one that gets to exist. but Phantom is tired and weak, he slips back into the passenger seat.
over the next few days, he's able to start talking to Danny even while he's not driving. though he's not chatty, it's only when necessary. and Danny knows, can feel it across the link between them–Phantom hates him. the ghost he created is desperate to find a way to take over completely. and as time goes on, Danny realizes with horror that it might actually be possible for Phantom to do that. he grows stronger every day, can stay transformed longer, controls Danny's body with much more ease.
it's only through a chance meeting with Frostbite that Danny and Phantom fully learn what happened to them. Danny feels sympathetic towards Phantom now. this isn't a malevolent ghost, it's a person who was never given the chance to live. who's trapped. who has to watch someone else live a life they're just as deserving of.
and Phantom feels that emotion from Danny. is so shocked by it, he doesn't know how to handle it at first. it takes him a while to contemplate, to talk to other ghosts like Frostbite. until one day, Phantom realizes�� he feels sympathy for Danny, too.
neither of them asked for this. both of them deserve to live. Danny didn't do anything wrong. they're both villains to each other's story. and if anything… doesn't Phantom owe his life to Danny in the first place?
Phantom takes over less often. Danny doesn't feel hatred from him anymore. anger, yes–but not aimed at him. in fact, Phantom starts controlling their body in little ways in order to protect Danny from things that aren't even dangerous. just to avoid pain that would only affect the human tethered to him.
it isn't long before they're separated, either thanks to another ghost or Danny's parents. they're thrown apart in the middle of a horrific fight, and when Danny sees Phantom's equally shocked expression, he's terrified.
this ghost that hated him for so long–at best, Phantom would leave him defenseless. at worst, surely some part of Phantom still wants to kill him for stealing away his chance for autonomy.
and yet, when fire rains down on them, Phantom risks it all to grab Danny and get them both to safety. they're still both shaken and stunned this is even happening, but Phantom is able to nervously be like shit shit shit okay stay here don't go anywhere or I can't protect you, okay?
after the fight is over and dust settles, Phantom offers Danny his hand. they stare at each other and god if this isn't the weirdest thing. like, uh, okay, what now? they decide to go see Frostbite, who confirms that they're fully separate now. they ask if there's any chance of merging again and Frostbite assures it's impossible.
Phantom asks, even if I overshadowed Danny? or stay real close? yes, it's nothing to worry about. they leave, and back in the quiet of Danny's room, they talk. Phantom isn't sure what to do. now that opportunity is in front of him, he feels paralyzed. Danny does his best to let Phantom know that… they might be separate now, but if he ever wants help or even just a friendly ear, he's here for him.
Phantom is quiet for a while. then says maybe he just needs to rest first. he'll think about it tomorrow. they're both exhausted and injured. Phantom asks quietly… if he could rest in Danny for the night.
Danny's shocked, and–really confused. Phantom blushes and is like I don't know what my haunt is yet, I don't know where to go, but I know… you're kind of my home. now that I know I can leave whenever I want, it's not something bad anymore. I miss feeling your heart next to my core, just a little bit.
and Danny is just as surprised when Phantom overshadows him, then quietly nestles into the passenger seat again. he didn't realize how he got used to feeling Phantom with him. it's a feedback loop of contentedness, and Danny sleeps easily. (they also find out while sharing a body, Danny gets to reap the benefits of Phantom's supernatural healing)
anyway that's all I got for now thank u for coming to my ted talk
#I'll be honest. it has interested me. I've read fics. I'm just more interested in other stuff for dp#but the prospect of pitch pearl 'enemies to friends also maybe they kiss about it' has me sweating nervously#the struggle and angst of defining yourself against your progenitor. the defiant sorrowful anger funneled into misplaced hatred#only to slowly realize your progenitor is a sweet person who didn't condemn you. they even fight for you to have your own agency#so once you finally have your own body you'll do anything to protect that person you've come to truly care about#and because you shared a body for so long. because you had the same origin. you know them as well as you know yourself#you're not incomplete but you still hold half of each other#HAHA WOW anyway I'm in danger :)#don't. don't look at me#should i even tag this. yeah okay#Danny Phantom#pitch pearl
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After everything @insertmeaningfulusername puts him through Bug gets a summer job to collect the weird looking fish from their traps in some pretty lake, spends his days stressing out his poor elderly water-averse dog, gets some new tattoos of silly little bugs, and starts growing his hair out again QnQ
#Happy Birthday to me! Have a drawing of (on the weekends) my clone oc and his silly dog as a treat on me!#clone oc#clone trooper oc#star wars oc#star wars original character#Bug (clone OC)#I looked it up my boy has a tag I just haven't put anything in it yet on tumblr OTL#star wars fanart#the clones#tcw fanart#my art#bug and jesse#so much art posting is happening today wow!#artists on tumblr#digital illustration#digital art#Now that I'm about to hit post I finally figured out what I would need to TRULY pull this piece together#but I'm tired I've done a lot of drawing these past weeks and this colour palette scares me#I just realized I've never reall posted a drawing of Jesse here either... shame on me. Anyways#I hope to get around to drawing them more!!#one day I will get these water and sun reflections right again you just wait!#I'm stupidly happy with my silly little creature designs. Do I look up how star wars does it? no I just run away with it lol
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i love these two nerds
#deltarune#deltarune art#deltarune fanart#susie deltarune#kris deltarune#susie#kris#my art#I LOVE THEM HELLO#they are friends and i'm making everything about this#also wow look who finally started drawing full bodies#i have no idea how to do their colors fully yet but i like how i did their shapes here#especially with susie bc she was so hard to draw at first hahaha
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I always though Mal's mom was meant to be like "Eleanor" but they stuck an M at the start honestly, Sobbing Emoji. But "Maleanor" also makes me feel less insane since in that scene where she's just handed egg Malleus to Lilia and went to battle, it sounds more like Lilia is saying "Maleanor" than "Meleanor" (Japanese accent pending). Mayhaps they went more with what it sounded like the characters were saying :0 (we don't talk about Doodle Suit to Paint The Roses)
the transliteration of her name is Marenoa (マレノア), which is what all the voice lines are saying! all the Draconias' names start with マレ (Malleus' grandma is Maleficia/マレフィシア) as a nod to Maleficent. :D it's almost certainly a take on Eleanor, which is Erenoa (エレノア), but her name is written in English at a couple points, and I was pretty surprised to see it was Mel instead of Mal!
and, like, that's fine, it wouldn't be first Twst romanization that's tripped me up (like Keito for Cater, I know that's something to do with the loanword specific to playing cards(?) but it's just not how my brain wants to read it). but now Eng has given us Maleanor! and someone else said it was spelled inconsistently between Maleanor and Maeleanor??????? so WHO KNOWS it's a SPELLING FREE-FOR-ALL
I AM torn on which I want to use, because Mel just sounds so cute to me (and is what I'm used to now), but...the Mal consistency is kinda too good to pass up. alas, alas, truly these are the most difficult conundrums of our times. 😔
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#i...am unsure if maleficia's name gets mentioned pre-part 6 so i'm gonna go overboard on the spoiler tags just in case#i-i just want to be careful okay#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#well if nothing else i'm happy i can stop calling him revaan. that was getting too silly.#and seeing baur finally twigged the reference for me (somewhat embarrassingly late)#me: (looking at a crocodile man whose name is literally written bauru) HMM I JUST DON'T KNOW#(i assume they went with 'baur' instead of 'bauru' to make it more of a reference and less...literally the name of a municipality)#(and also a sandwich according to wikipedia?)#(no actually he should have been bauru that would've been incredible) (sandwich grandpa)#i might call artistic license and use something like 'the briarlands' instead of 'briarland' though if it ever comes up#(it looks like we're going to be leaving the pre-valley timeline soon so it probably won't) (but i just want it on record)#i actually do like it being more unique than just 'briar country/kingdom' but i think the plural adds more of that ~fantasy flair~#...also this is how i find out that trey's magic name is different in eng?#(wow i really do not pay attention huh)#'paint the roses' IS the actual translation of his magic (薔薇を塗ろう) so it's not...COMPLETELY different at least?#i...guess they went for the more immediately obvious reference...? weird
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hehe. almost christmas!
#ace attorney tag#narumitsu#partial nudity /#2nd and 3rd things inspired by playing the first game and Uhh... why is phoenix accusing men of being lovers and being certain of it#and just generally containing the core of bisexuality within him#also there's that part i recall in maybe the..3rd game? where he's like Wow.. I'd Fall For Him Too... about that cinnamon swirl looking man#learnt lately that the writers upon learning that ace attorney was very popular with BL people immediately started reading BL#to understand the genre. i think phoenix would also do such Research in college. to Learn About People. About The World.#so now he feels that he has gaydar and is a good Ally etc. But actually maybe...you're also just bi too !#too bad you'll have to get kissed by a criminal to work that out! Hang in there <3#i reread my fic today !! I'm in the christmas mood now ! Sort of ! ooooh the 7 year gap.. at least we are in the 7 year gap years irl#Somewhere out there they ARE drinking wine romantically gazing at snow on a balcony in germany. thank GOD for that fr#so i shall be drawing things from THAT era next i need to depict men finally kissing NOW !!!!!!#can't do it with orufrey..can't draw cute happy romantic wintry art of them..didn't finish processing my current divorcecore arc era cycle
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The ol' razzle dazzle
This is the end result of hand painting leather green for hours.
Once my Shego cosplay is finished, I'll finish up my boyfriend's Dr. Drakken cosplay!!!
#still gotta make a lot of other stuff tho#My Shego cosplay is slowly getting together and I'm so happy aaaa!!!#You don't know how long I've been looking at this stupid picture like: “Wow. I'm actually doing it. After years I'm FINALLY doing it”#I'M MAKING SHEGO'S BODYSUIT AND IT FEELS SO GOOD#kim possible#kimpossible#shego
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doodles
edgar vargas and squee by johnen vasquez
scriabin by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#zarla s#scriabin#doodles#YOU THOUGHT YOU'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME . . . . !!!!#well HELLO !!!! I'M BACK !!!!!!!!#got a new brush . what do you think of it do you like it#okay i want to ramble about these wait a second#the first one looks a bit different to the rest because i was just trying new stuff .#if i spend a long time without drawing i'll forget how to draw and well it happened#i've changed my art style like 3 times now but i still draw side profiles the same . looks weird ugh#the mug says “ JESUS loves me BECAUSE no one else will ” btw . meta gave me the idea actually . thanks meta .#about the second one . finished that one like ten minutes ago . missed drawing todd aw#i just find their whole relationship so amusing .#like yes i went crazy for like a month and now i have a brother-husband and a kid ?!#they complement each other so well though . i love them#THE UNO ONE omg i've had that idea for like A YEAR NOW and i just drew it lol#i wonder how long it would take scriabin to notice though .#when i showed this to meta she said : “ oh wow !! edgar's finally winning at something !! ” and it's SO TRUE#wonder how he does it !#and the last one . i got the idea when i was looking through zarla's account searching for fan art .#love it so much though they look like their lives aren't a living hell#anyways i'll probably make more of these . who knows#going back to school on monday . and of course i had to get inspiration four days before going back .#please PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK TO SCHOOL . PL#okay byeee enjoy these . eat my starved followers . EAT !!!!!
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max and i are closing in on launching [redacted sports rpf charity fest] and i am once again pondering how do i write "experience with writing form emails and manipulating google forms in ways no one has dreamed of" in a cover letter without saying "i did it for the rpf grind"...like there's no way unless everyone in this microsoft teams meeting gets really cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly. you know
#IT LITERALLY CAME UP WHILE I WAS WRITING A COVER LETTER A COUPLE WEEKS AGO#AND IT WAS SUCH A BAD COVER LETTER BC IT WAS LIKE. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN BE A VIRTUAL PROGRAMMING MANAGER#I JUST CAN'T EXPLAIN HOW I CAME BY THESE SKILLS!!!!#i did not get an interview lmao. but we stay silly#like how do u frame ''community organizer'' when you're organizing. people on the internet to create rpf fanworks. for charity#lmaooooo oh well#me and max locking down our timeline last night and i'm like 😶 the thing i have wanted to do for years is finally happening#the universe tried to smite us multiple times in multiple ways. but we persisted. and it is happening!!!#last night i had to go to the grocery store at 9pm wearing short-shorts and an oversized t-shirt bc i was really like#if i don't get a coke in me right the fuck now i am going to end it all#procured coca-cola. drank it in the parking lot. recovered instantly. got on here and started posting#went to monday night service. last one bc after this week it'll be too late at night in est :(#it was such a nice global community to be apart of. people in 5 countries on four continents showed up almost every week!#not to be christian on main. but i love working with ecumenical organizations because i meet people all over the world#who have different ways of doing church and different interpretations of scripture and different takes on faith#and i always learn so much from people! good and bad lol sometimes it's like wow i will NOT be integrating that into my worldview#yo just under one week until i move 😵💫 i decided i am packing one (1) more box and then saying fuck it we ball#whatever i forgot has to go in the car. i cannot let myself be owned by cardboard boxes any longer#and soon. freedom. new start. new beginnings. someone said ''i hope you look at this as a time of new growth and unfolding'' to me#and i went man. i think i am#like the pine trees that reseed after a forest fire#fresno oilers.txt
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Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?
not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.
i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.
which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.
and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.
i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!
#necrotic festerings#batcest#pro ship#necrotic answerings#tbh asking the question gave me the chance to explain it so ty!#might link this in my about me or my masterlist for ease of access#i don't want to like. overstate how big i was on an old blog bc i was not like. a celebrity by *any* means.#but i had a ship-specific blog and i was certainly a “big name fan” for that specific rarepair#and it like. took over my life when i was a teen#i look back on it fondly now but i really regret that i would obsess so heavily over numbers and what made a fic do well#my favorite fics to write were htp back then bc for htp culture writing on anon was normal since that was during the dreamwidth days#and i just. liked that veil of anonymity and i think i defaulted to that when i decided to finally start posting batcest stuff#(all of this makes me sound so old i'm only 22 i just started fandom really fucking young which i don't recommend)#and when i say one fic got big. i mean it. i have found that fic on instagram and pinterest and tiktok and even. facebook.#do you know what it's like when your fic gets reuploaded to facebook without your permission and you see what boomers think of it.#that was so mortifying.#funnily enough the boomers were actually really nice i was just shocked to find it there scrolling one day.#it was instagram that was super mean to me and traumatized my ass. man ppl dug into me for the tinest things. do not miss that.#anyway the point is#i've tasted vitality and niche fandom status(tm) and i hated both. and i just cannot do that to myself again#ergo#anon on ao3 and a blog to post my thoughts when i have them.#it's a nice system for me#i have some stuff on my main ao3 that toes the line of like. dark dead dove trash.#and i had antis get mad at me bc their fave fluffy fic was written by. gasp. a proshipper.#and yeah that soured me to existence on ao3.#getting into the rise of anti culture is a whole other discussion that'd have me going on for hours but i will shut up now.#wow this got long. i like to fucking talk don't i.
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this post got me to go find a recording of devin's voicelines and god. they truly go so hard. the best part of them to me isn't even the long speech to godwyn/fia but the part AFTER when you actually interact with him. the fucking. audible smile in his voice when he says "hello! the rotten witch is dead :) " the way it borders on an almost delirious giggle. the whole thing is like, the va did such a good job selling the simultaneous grief and rage and disgust and vindictive joy it's sooo delicious to me. they could never make me hate you devin you will always be iconic in my heart
#the nemesis speaks#AAAAND!! the fact that his final line to you is nearly the same as the line darian greets you with when you first meet him by summonwater#or. the last line of dialogue he has before you talk to him.#which is an established blessing for the dead but devin is directing it AT HIMSELF#'honeyed rays of gold deliver MY spirit'#i think it's funny that people are still like wow why does he just die randomly after you talk to him that's so weird#like he tells you. directly to your face that he's planning to die#also the fucking. 'take a good long look!! this is a proper death!!'#like he's giving an instructional guide on how to be a corpse correctly. that is so funny to me#anyway again. mad props to the d twins va. getting to that part of the questline was like OHHH i'm obsessed with this man!! ok!!#but also. do not take this as devin's default state. man is absolutely spiraling very hard the whole time you talk to him#devin's horrible no good very bad last day on earth
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Enjoying that my dash is filled with new Pedro pictures but I almost gasped "DIN!" when I saw this one...
#pedro pascal#din djarin#for one brief second i got to imagine din helmetless after a few years 🥲#he's just been vibing in his cabin on nevarro with grogu#letting those curls grow out#moisturised and looking good#i miss him wow buT THE FACIAL EXPRESSION IS ALMOST INDENTICALLLLL#also idk what pedro is doing next or anything but it seems like he's had a lot on recently so i hope he gets some rest now finally#maybe he needs a cabin on nevarro of his own#din djarin brainrot#no honestly i'm doing so well
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watching fandaniel go is wild because he is just [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] and yeah man that's a mood
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv fandaniel#the cutscene where he's dancing and pacing in front of zenos in the armory while they talk genuinely startled me a little#with how accurately the editing and camerawork captured What That Stim Feels Like#i'm less inclined to do Large Amounts of Spinning and Bending; and the way i get my arms involved looks different#but something about the energy to it and the center of gravity and the way he Turns when he steps is just Oh Wow Yeah Same#on one hand; surface-level he's the type of Unhinged Manic Pixie Dream Boy that you'd think would be a bit on the nose for adhd headcanons#(which would be valid anyway to be clear but still)#but like. motherfucker has adhd just look at him#and honestly i like that a lot because 'surface level' is the keyword here. he Has Depth and is adhd about it#i need to find that post about how masking doesn't necessarily mean trying to pass for neurotypical#among other things; it can look like playing super hard into Look at How Megadifferent and Quirky and Weird I Am; and yeah that's him#and tbh he kind of vibes to me as having gotten into Being an Obnoxious Flamboyant Theater Kid#specifically because it's a useful cover for being his brand of ND#'those damn wacky rich gay nobles' as an explanation for your behavior is going to get you a very different niche in society#than 'that weird dude who talks strangely and can't sit still and whose social cues are A Little Off'#'and makes bizarre disruptive distracting movements with his body while he talks'#anyway diversity win etc etc i love him#ableism mention cw#ffxivtag#FF tag
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Fëanorian Week 2023, Day 1: Maedhros
I’m so late with these I’m not even fashionably late. But better late than never (cf. Fingolfin, probably, after finally getting to Middle Earth).
To anyone who went “Hmm I wonder if the theme this year is going to be classical sculpture?”, well, congratulations, you’re right, though I don’t know how you would have guessed that. I was originally going to do something where I based each drawing off the meaning of the name, and since “Maitimo” means “well-shaped one” the first thing that came to mind was a Greek or Renaissance statue. But after finishing it I decided that it had been a lot of fun and I might as well do the rest the same way. And it sort of fit into the whole Fëanorian theme since Nerdanel is a sculptor.
#feanorianweek#maedhros#the man the myth the legends#three shinies#my trash#/end classification tags#GUYS IT'S HERE#IT'S FINALLY HERE#okay no but it helped that i came out of art block in a panic to do figure studies#''wow so you used reference pictures?'' i hear someone ask#NO#I AM STUPID AND YOU ALL KNOW THIS#in like a year i'm going to look at these and shrivel up and die from delayed firsthand embarrassment#it was just trial and error on all of these#but at least i was practicing#...right?#also yes a couple of you may have noticed i'm not reblogging from the other blog this year#this is because i didn't want to post anything on deviantart right before going on a longish trip#it's just too hard to keep up with deviantart on mobile#so i guess i'll post them later after i get back#(maybe)#(because also i feel a little bit awkward about these ones)#(so i don't know yet)#ALSO also i learned today that the colors on the tablet are not the same as the colors on my phone#and neither of them are the same as the colors on my laptop#so i don't know which is right#and i hope you all are seeing the version i had on the tablet because those ones were much cooler tones and i picked them on purpose
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have to go pick up a washing machine tomorrow a coworker snagged for $75 [!] and lug it all the way upstairs [....] to hook up before somehow draining the old one [...] because it broke mid-cycle washing sheets not once but twice thrown up on by cat [...] and we can't even get it to drain [....] 🙏 and hopefully finish putting together a 2 weeks late little birthday gift box for my sibling because i literally forgot until the night before and wanted to die. and get my axle looked at cause it might be bent. day off ❤️
#j.txt#like i am unfathomably fortunate to have found a replacement like 3 days after it broke before i had to think abt like#driving to the next town over to use their laundromat but#even when people help me i cannot describe to them how little energy reserves i have that my day off is supposed to help replenish#and the coworker's dad is who im buying it from and also a mechanic so he's like he can finally look at your axle while we're at it!#and i can help you drain the old one and take it to the dump!#and im like ur literally an it's a wonderful life angel to me rn. but i have the energy to do like 1 of those things. barely#and i am already forcing myself to add at least 1 of the add ons too like i can't do all of that on my day off#i mean i could but i would like to not feel like killing myself 🙏 i am very over dramatic but that's#what it feels like to be helped to solve a problem but like i still have to solve it#which i want to and am thankful i get to but it still requires Effort i barely have 🤘😔#and also all of this specifically after my first week in my life having pretty significant enough to be alarming back pain#seemingly spontaneous. and reconsidering opting in for medical insurance bc of it while open enrollment is still. open#even though it will take a significant chunk out of my paychecks which is why i've opted out for 4 years before now 🙏#but i can barely sit in a chair when it's bad let alone lift shit at work and not knowing what caused it is alarming ��#wow i'm really chatty today god. why is life so Much Happening All the Time.......
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im so tired of everything honestly
#・❥・strwb rambles#do you ever just#look at yourself in the mirror and think#“wow this is all i'm ever going to amount to”#idk#like you think you're finally getting better#but really you were just distracted and nothing has changed
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pretty & cute witch men
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i'm not drawing as much or as well as i'd like to be doing. i'm trying to get through a comic i've been really wanting to do#but i'm just finding it so hard. disheartening. btw the 2nd one relates to some official art of qif wearing a dress like the girls#and the 4th one relates to how i've been drawing EXTREMELY SMALL for years. idk how to explain it but i always clicked 'fit to screen'#and so all my art EVER has looked bad when you zoom in bc it's already like size 1 zoomed in to the MAX pfhgguguhfpfhGHAHHHHH#i was so confused allll this time why brushes always look different for me than what they're supposed to#'wow this brush is so jaggedy..really rather jaggedy...calling it the Jagged Cai Special..bringing it out for those jaggedy moments..#really quite jaggedy i must say...' and it's literally not jaggedy#but now i have to get used to how all those brushes that i'd gotten used to indeed look how they're supposed to finally. Alarming#I have simply been working out absolutely everything by myself for years and that's why my technical progress is slow#ppl say my progress is fast and i certainly have improved much since i began doing all this but#like..it took me a year and half to start using a program where i could Colour In The Lines aka the..whatever it's called. whatever..#just on my lonely confused solemn journey to express gay love better than yesterday.. -_- *picks up my pack n continues through the snow*#btw thank you sm for people's kind words enjoying my narumitsu art & fic over the christmas & new year period <3
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