#what it feels like to be helped to solve a problem but like i still have to solve it
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Because I like creating stories! I like coming up with a plot and characters. I like worldbuilding. I like making decisions about themes and how I want to communicate them. I like figuring out pivotal scenes and how they'll play out. And while I don't love it, I also don't really have a problem with editing scenes and dialogue to fit better.
What I don't like, and indeed most days am not Able to do, is actually sitting down and converting all my well organized ideas and decisions and worldbuilding into tens of thousands of words of prose. I just do not enjoy it at all; I find it tedious and unengaging and it usually feels like pulling teeth. And even if I Did enjoy it, my disabilities make it near impossible to do anything like that most days.
And AI mostly solves that problem for me! Why Wouldn't I want to use it? Why shouldn't I use an awesome new tool that lets me find joy in creating stories I would not otherwise be able to create? Why shouldn't I want to share those stories with people?
I just don't understand tumblr user's immediate and outraged response to someone doing something that they also enjoy, just because they're doing it in a different way. I mean, I know a large part of it is because we like to equate suffering and struggle with value, but like. Cmon guys. Lets stop acting protestant (and ableist) here.
Something being harder to do doesn't make it inherently better! Hard work purely for the sake of hard work is dumb and helps nobody; you shouldn't be railing against people just because they're choosing to take advantage of a tool that allows them to produce art that they otherwise wouldn't. Or even art that they Would have made, but this lets them make it more easily! That's awesome! Being able to create a story or a piece of visual art in a day when it would otherwise take a week is amazing! What's the downside here? More art? More varied art (because now its easier to experiment and try new things)?
And yea, I will admit, AI isn't quite at the level where I can use it to create the stories I really want to Yet, its still so much better than any of the alternatives. So I ask again. Why Wouldn't I use it? Its letting me do something I enjoy, that I would not otherwise be able to do. Its not hurting anyone (please do not try to argue about how AI is killing the environment or stealing from artists unless you've actually done some reading and understand how the technology actually works). If its not for you, that's fine. Just like any tool, it won't be helpful for everyone. But that doesn't mean you should be hating on and ostracizing those who do find it helpful, nor that you should ignore any art produced using it.
Unpopular opinion but if you don't enjoy the process you should find a different thing to do.
And I think this is true in general but now I'm talking about it in the context of AI.
If you don't enjoy making art and only care about the end piece and how it'll look and how much traction it"lol get online then making art is not something for you, find something you enjoy from start to finish.
Same goes for writing: if you do not enjoy writing and rewriting and then some more and instead want AI to write for you, being a writer is not something you should pursue.
Sure, not every part of creative process is going to be equally enjoyable but you should get satisfaction from solving the problems along the way and you should get a sense of accomplishment on your way of "making the piece yours" and you should have a sense of ownership once you are done.
None of these things will come from typing in a prompt into chatGPT. And I am sad to see so many people are missing on the opportunity to experience the joy of making something with their own hands and brains.
#ai#longpost#if you found those four posts/the articles in those posts interesting#and want to read more#my “ai” tag is just posts that explain how AI actually works#and why 99% of the arguments against it are just incorrect or morally unsound#and im always happy to discuss AI#both in terms of ethics and in terms of using it to create art
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PICK A CARD: What is beautiful about you
Hello and welcome to this reading! Here I will tell you what is beautiful about you. I hope you enjoy this reading!
Masterpost > Paid Readings > Patreon Masterlist
The extended version of this reading can be found on my patreon, the link of which is here
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Pile 1:
You truly are so creative. There is no one the people around you know that is as creative as you are. You have an insane amount of ideas constantly in your mind, and all of those ideas are great for problem-solving. Even if your idea seems absolutely atrocious and you simply made it up to make light of the situation, often times there is still more truth in it than you had ever thought, and often times it will actually help finding a solution to something. Your creativity isn’t only good for problem-solving or thinking of things to do, it also helps cheer people up. You have an incredibly good sense of humour, and you make not just your friends and family members laugh, you make everyone laugh all around you. You have the quickest responses sometimes, and your jokes are often jokes that have not been heard before. You are quick-witted and your brain goes way faster than anyone else’s.
extended reading
Pile 2:
You are quick to call out somebody’s bullshit. When you see some unjust hanging around somewhere you will be speaking up about it. The people around you see you as a strong-willed person, someone who is never going to let anyone walk right over you. You are loyal to yourself and your friends, and if any of the people you care about gets harmed you always know that revenge is going to be bittersweet. You are someone people look up to, even those people you don’t believe ever would do. They wish they had the balls that you seem to possess as long as they know you (for many of you this obviously isn’t true, you have learned to become like this, or forced to become like this, and for a couple this is most likely also a façade you put up. But whether you are actually insecure or not doesn’t matter; you are still a very strong person, with strong morals and a strong sense of justice). You should realise how good of a friend, a partner, and a family member you really are / can be.
extended reading
Pile 3:
You are unique. There is no one like you out there. Some of you don’t believe that this is the case that you are just like anyone else. But there truly is no one like you out there who has the set of interests that you have, the hobbies you have and the dreams that you have. You have a personality no one else has, you have authenticity and some people do not like that. Those people you are insecure about because they are so vastly different from you are the ones who are jealous of you; they do not understand you so they try to dislike you. People are afraid of the unknown, and those people who all seem to be the same? They have that whenever they see you. Not understanding something and not wanting to understand is ignorance, and there are a ton of people who sadly carry that trait. Your uniqueness isn’t the only thing that people find beautiful about you. It’s also because when you want something you truly go for it. Sure, sometimes it doesn’t feel like this immediately; but if you have a goal you will reach that goal no matter how long it takes you.
extended reading
#pick a card#pick a pile#pick an image#pac#pap#spirituality#spiritual#divination#tarot#tarot reading#tarotoftheday#tarotblr#tarot readings#tarot deck#tarot cards#tarot blog#tarot pac#tarotcommunity#tarot commissions#beauty#shadow work#love reading#self love reading#advice reading#loa#law of assumption#witchblr#free tarot reading#free tarot#free reading
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Hello and hi there. In relation to Jockeys working every day of the week, I find myself unable to figure out how they have any kind of life around that. When do they go to the dentist? How do they shop for groceries? For the love of all that’s holy when do they take comfy mid-afternoon naps when the sun warms your skin and the kitties snore gently on your chest??
I’m beginning to suspect Jockeys may be a sort of mimic species that only kind of approximates a human person but misses the mark on a few key characteristics. If they spend all morning riding horses, hours after that exercising, and hours driving to and from races - I honestly don’t know how they have time or energy for anything.
“When you factor in early-morning work, extensive mileage, financial uncertainty and the significant physical and mental challenges of being a jockey, it’s arguably the most challenging of professional sports for an athlete.” - Dale Gibson, executive director of the PJA
Dashboard-saving cut with a long story explaining that they are more-or-less-willingly consumingly bonkers, but would like a bit 🤏 more time off than they feel they can take.
🏇
Ah, the majority of jockeys in the UK cleverly solve those problems by not keeping their own teeth or eating! and certainly not having a life are freelancers! They can decline any of an agent’s requests to work, and if they do exercising and training work for a trainer in the mornings, they can arrange to have days where they don’t. As freelancers, they have no paid holiday, but it’s technically up to them (Studies show that jockeys choose to maximise their work until forcibly stopped, BUT technically they have the choice).
It’s a little unclear to me how retained/contracted stable jockeys make their arrangements as the UK equine industry seems to be bundled with agricultural/farm work and farm contractors have different rules, but they’re pretty rare, and they also blur the line between work and life a huge amount. Generational jockeys often do it as part of a family business, living in proximity with the rest of their family in the industry, blurring the line between work/life further.
They all seem to report stress and anxiety that they also feel at home. lots of jockeys who aren’t contracted, generational or married-with-kids live in houses full of their rivals (1). Jockeys with kids report the difficulty of seeing them “without a horse involved” (1) and female staff with caring responsibilities report that most jobs in horse racing are completely incompatible with any sort of work-life balance (5).
Jockeys do find it extremely hard to turn down work when it’s offered, though, as described in this study (1) - not only for the pure financial reasons of needing income, maintaining momentum, and not losing your mounts, although those are the first considerations …
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… but also to advertise themselves as being particularly “fashionable” purchases - lucky, tough, and always ready to earn you lots of money:
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“Like a toy” is really saying the quiet part out loud.
but there’s a positive side to this! In 2020, lockdown travel restrictions meant jockeys were limited to attending one race meeting per day within the UK. The meetings are still far apart, and there’s between 6-8 races per meeting, so it’s still hard work, but jockeys couldn’t then go on to do another meeting on the other side of the country within that day.
About 70% of jockeys were happy with this external rule being imposed, because it helped them resist external/agent/employer pressure to hit multiple racetracks a day - now it’s out of their hands. The rule is under review, and a rolling extension means it’s actually still under effect! Realistically, they’re still travelling relentlessly, but now they can resist pressure for adding night races and evening meetings when they’ve already worked somewhere else that day, a pressure that jockeys reported as “frying their heads” (1).
And the answer to what they did with this slightly freed time is: have fewer car accidents and eat dinner. (3)
They still drive too much, but the answer to “what do jockeys do if you don’t make them work night shifts on top of day shifts?” is “well! they eat dinner”.
They would like a humble bit of time off for fun, though! Although a jockey saying he didn’t feel they “needed to be working” on Sunday nights was considered so brave and unusual that he got newspaper coverage (4):
“We might get a couple of hundred quid extra in our pockets or whatever, but I don’t think (night racing on Sunday) is healthy. I won’t be able to go and watch the football with my dad, things like that, and if this becomes a regular thing, which it will, you just cross the brink [to] having absolutely no work/life balance.
“I don’t think it’s right, but my desire to ride winners, and my desire to ride for David [Simcock, Charlie’s Choice’s trainer] outweighs that and it has to as a rider, with the dedication it requires. It’s not an option not to come, so I’ll always be available to them, but I don’t think we should be here at 8.30pm on a Sunday night.”
In conclusion, they’d like Sunday nights off, and they like it when licensing bodies take things out of their hands. They need a union are bonkers, but don’t need to be THIS bonkers.
This is why sports medicine researchers study jockeys like laboratory mice, though.
🐁 👩🔬
Fascinating
References
(Nobody needs to read these, it’s just so I don’t feel like I’m making stuff up)
1. “A lifestyle rather than a job: a review and recommendations on mental health support within the British horse racing industry” (2019)
2. Stressors experienced by professional jockeys (2021)
3. talking Horses: Jockeys seeing benefits of one race meeting per day (2020)
4.) Talking Horses: Sunday night races may result in serious jockey burnout (2024)
5) WORK-LIFE BALANCE & CARING IN HORSERACING: Women in Racing summary of pilot survey (2023)
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Through sobs, Satoru whoops, “I was— I was gonna say maybe I’ll fuck you so hard that you’ll scream in the middle of the night and wake up the whole floor— everyone— but I think he’d drop dead if—“
“Sure thing, pillow princess!” Suguru taunts through increasing giggles.
Satoru’s laugh flatlines, and he leans into his ear whispering, “That sounds like a challenge. Watch yourself tonight, Suguru!” And he feels every word taking shape down his spine in goosebumps. Visions of Satoru’s hands on his waist— running up and down is back— his face pressed to the nape of his neck. It all knots up inside of him.
Before he has a chance to pursue it, Satoru continues, “Ya’ know, a dead RA would solve a lot of our problems.”
“What do you think it would take?”
“Probably not a lot.” Satoru cocks an eyebrow at him. “Can I walk you down the hall in a full gimp suit?”
“No, I’d die.”
“You could walk me.”
“Nope, I’d still die.” Suguru feels his laughter start to creep back in, infecting Satoru as the corners of his lips tremble.
“We just need to move.”
“You can’t walk me around in a gimp suit in private.”
“Fuck no,” Satoru howls. “We gotta stop with the gimp suit shit because if you joke about it enough, you’re gonna want to try it, and I think I’d rather cut off my hand than touch latex.” Satoru slumps forward, pressing his head to Suguru’s chest. “A fucking sensory nightmare.”
Suguru cards his fingers through the longer hair atop Satoru’s head. “You’re a sensory nightmare.”
“Thanks, I try.” Satoru flops over inert.
Suguru grabs a shoulder, shaking him. Satoru lets the motion wrack his whole body. “What are you doing?” Phony offense grips him.
“Ehhhh,” groans senselessly out of the gangle of teenager that nestles further into the crack between the bed and the wall. “Nap.”
“Nap?” The answer is egregious. Disgusting. Suguru spits the word back in his face. “I need you to help me fulfill my promise to Riko.”
The sound Satoru makes implies that he is unhinging his jaw on the singular word fuckno. It travels up his spine very quickly, like he’s hacking up a hairball.
Read the rest of I’m Sorry: In Various Translations (a high school, college, and teaching AU) on ao3
(pssst it’s also a 100k slowburn)
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#satosugu#geto suguru#koifish fanfic#jjk fanfic#stsg fic#satosugu fic
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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have to go pick up a washing machine tomorrow a coworker snagged for $75 [!] and lug it all the way upstairs [....] to hook up before somehow draining the old one [...] because it broke mid-cycle washing sheets not once but twice thrown up on by cat [...] and we can't even get it to drain [....] 🙏 and hopefully finish putting together a 2 weeks late little birthday gift box for my sibling because i literally forgot until the night before and wanted to die. and get my axle looked at cause it might be bent. day off ❤️
#j.txt#like i am unfathomably fortunate to have found a replacement like 3 days after it broke before i had to think abt like#driving to the next town over to use their laundromat but#even when people help me i cannot describe to them how little energy reserves i have that my day off is supposed to help replenish#and the coworker's dad is who im buying it from and also a mechanic so he's like he can finally look at your axle while we're at it!#and i can help you drain the old one and take it to the dump!#and im like ur literally an it's a wonderful life angel to me rn. but i have the energy to do like 1 of those things. barely#and i am already forcing myself to add at least 1 of the add ons too like i can't do all of that on my day off#i mean i could but i would like to not feel like killing myself 🙏 i am very over dramatic but that's#what it feels like to be helped to solve a problem but like i still have to solve it#which i want to and am thankful i get to but it still requires Effort i barely have 🤘😔#and also all of this specifically after my first week in my life having pretty significant enough to be alarming back pain#seemingly spontaneous. and reconsidering opting in for medical insurance bc of it while open enrollment is still. open#even though it will take a significant chunk out of my paychecks which is why i've opted out for 4 years before now 🙏#but i can barely sit in a chair when it's bad let alone lift shit at work and not knowing what caused it is alarming 👍#wow i'm really chatty today god. why is life so Much Happening All the Time.......
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Feel like there's a type of fun I've forgotten to be having!
#my brain is just shuffling between work and distractions#i want to be exercising more and traveling and writing but I feel like 10 years of career dealing with increasingly sticky problems#have brought me to the stickiest problems yet. ones that I can't solve just by being smart and diligent#so my brain is turning them over trying to find a new way in#meanwhile. my body is still problematic. though sleeping is helping a lot#anyway. giving it a year. one more year to see how i do with the actual scaffolding under me#and then! we'll see. i have a particular set of skills (not murder) that could give me the same kind of job anywhere#but what if i got some different ones#anyway I'm antsy and a bit lonesome these days#which is it's own kind of sticky problem for reasons that are probably figure-out-able#but one thing at a time. brain and bod and bank accounts. scaffolding#and branching
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*takes my last adderall so i can finish all my work in one day*
*finishes one (1) assignment*
*gets distracted and spends the rest of the day hyperfocusing on delicious in dungeon again*
#i rewatched half the anime last night cause i was too tired to do anything else#i even almost got sucked into reading the manga again the other day but forced myself to stop after 1 chapter#def gotta buy hard copies#this is one of if not the only thing i can enjoy multiple times IN SUCCESSION!#actually i was like this with turning red and spiderverse too but#dunmeshi is different.... dunmeshi is special..... my enjoyment of it is more than just the animation or the art.....#ive never felt this particular way about anything but i've always wanted to#in the past my fanart often felt a little forced even tho i liked those things it was hard to get excited about anything#i think dunmeshi is partially responsible for my depression being in remission#literally#the only depression i feel since spring is about financial problems or being lonely#tangible stuff#but it's not the deep internal depression ive felt for most of my life#idk how to explain but like there's layers to depression#the easier kind to heal from is based in identifiable current issues like loneliness or financial troubles or grief or burnout#then theres the kind that comes from complex trauma or i think sometimes its genetic too#i thought that part would only go away once i solved the surface level stuff and could heal thorugh positive experiences to contradict#the pathways my brains formed overtime via trauma#but although ive had a few moments that have helped#i think dunmeshi. moving out of my old apt where i lived with 3 cishet men into an apt with 1 chill roomie. having time over summer to#get used to a self made routine (despite having MANY financial issues and still not being able to spend it how i planned)#all that is mainly what helped!#like for the first time i was getting excited abt stuff!#i still kinda struggle tho with maintaining that excietment#except with dunmeshi!#it's like no matter what my excitement hasn't diminished#thats very comforting#i gotta force myself to engage in more media so i can find more things to love#i have a habit of putting off things i know ill love bc i wanna be ready for it#so that if i do love it ill have the time and energy to get inspired and make fanart
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Now that I can put together a coherent thought again, I've gone to the realization that basically all of my favorite characters should not be taking care of someone sick
But a character that my brain says "stay in the next room over or else" about (Yuri) is the exact person I'd want to take care of me. Will I come out of it with nightmares and a fear of doctors? Probably. Will I come out of it not sick anymore? I got faith in Yuri.
#pei rambles about tokyo debunker#look he gives me the chills in a way i can't describe. like i think he's a cool character i just also have the gut feeling to run away#haru almost dropped dead of tetanus while working you think he won't instantly also be sick trying to care for someone?#ren straight up wouldn't help. you will be lying there on the bed with no response from him#towa would try but I'm not sure what flowers solve my problems#in other fandoms... junko would also just leave me there. see haru for how quickly nagito would get sick#tsurugi? i mean he wouldn't abandon me on purpose but i really doubt he can take care of himself while sick let alone someone else#still too scrambled to think of anyone else
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Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)
It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.
I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.
It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great
#I know I sound like I'm a being sponsored by this app but it's genuinely been incredible for my mental health#whenever I get frustrated in therapy now about not being able to describe a feeling my therapist asks me to think about the chart#he'll ask me what color I feel and go 'good! do you want to narrow it down from there or continue with just that?' and it's so helpful#I have such terrible alexithymia from both cptsd and autism#it took a year of working with him to even recognize when I felt angry or hungry or sick#my friends and I check in on each other regularly now but it feels less intrusive#cause it feels like indirectly reaching out so it's less pressure to directly respond#and it might not feel the same for everyone since it could be jarring to get a notification saying friend feels miserable#but now that I've gotten used to it I don't feel like I need to solve their problems and make them feel better#Like they might be miserable because they're sick! So I check in and they say they're sick but okay and I don't feel the impulse to solve#like I would if I just didn't see them then saw them in person and saw they looked miserable#I don't blame myself or feel like I personally need to fix everything because I know they felt like that from an outside source I can't#control but I can certainly help them if they want! It's their choice tho and I don't feel bad if they don't/I can't#I feel less need to control my emotions/force them to be positive like I used to cause nobody feels positive 24/7 and I can see it#I don't feel the need to be politely content like I did in church because no one can be 24/7. I've attempted to get my family to start but#they're still stuck in needing to not be openly negative. It also helps me accept that negative feelings don't last forever#Someone feeling miserable because they're sick eventually puts they feel tired. Then chill and I know they feel better and I feel better too#Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble about my silly little feelings wheel app I hope it helps you like it helped me anon <3
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love waking up to my mom giving me an ultimatum and ordering that i have to give up my (admittedly expensive) apartment 1n 2 weeks and move back home for good. i had stuff to do today but i guess being gripped by dread and anxiety works too
#i had been thinking about moving to a smaller one too. but now she's ordering me to do that#and expects me to move back home#when my university and all of my two friends are in the city.#and i have TWO WEEKS to live here if she wants me to move before summer because i have to go back home anyway in early may#for my summer job.#like sure i wouldve understood like a hey. my child. your financial situation is oretty tough so i have some suggestions that could help#but she was like okay here's whay you do: option a) [something i couldnt do before fall] b) find a cheaper apartment and live in two weeks#c) move home for good and commute over an hour any day you have university stuff to do and also essentially lose access to your#friends and all and any independence you have managed to cobble together so i can treat you like a child and yeall at you#the last part wasnt included but it's what she does anyways so i assume it's part of the deal#then i would have to commute or drive an hour any time i wanted to see either of my friends. after every summer im already#tired and desperate to come back to my apartment to get to be on my own. and now she's saying i have to never do that again#and here's the fuckin thing. her husband is planning on fixing my car. my mom pays my phone bill. i know what a loser i am whatever.#she actually owns my dogs and my childhood home. i cannot. piss her ofd too much. because then i'll lose all of those#phone. whatever i can get a new one. car. slightly more heartbrwakin but like i still own it. but the house?#my dogs?? i think i would rather die atm if im being honest#so what the fuck am i supposed to do. huh.#maybe i should just walk into the sea foe good i feel like that would just so neatly solve all of my problems
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You're more amazing than a full minute
Werewolves need help but everyone else trying to help them is STUPID and WRONG so I did it better. You're welcome
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Also an artifact that I just had the idea for and kinda sorta supports werewolves if you squint so I gave it Innistrad flavor and threw it in the batch. So there, unique support cards that aid werewolves in their transforming endevors without defaulting to the laziest possible-
"Why not just give werewolves flash?"
FUCKING FINE
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You want flash so bad you can spend 3 mana on it
#asks#custom cards#Pack Loyalty was inspired by the Thunder Junction WU no spells archetype which i realized was really similar to werewolves#but unfortunately no overlapping colors so it'd feel awkward but i figured out a solution#a bunch of these are just figuring out ways to transform while still spending your mana so lots of big flash spells and activated abilities#the whole “stupid and wrong” thing was partly a joke but i do genuinely dislike the attempts i've seen to help werewolves#i've heard a few times “they should give some werewolves flash” or even “they should give MOST werewolves flash”#no. that would make flipping your wolves basically automatic. which would defeat the whole point of the day/night condition#the tension between casting your werewolves and flipping your werewolves is the whole point of the archetype#giving a large portion of them flash would change the archetype to just “flash creatures” with transforming being pointless complexity#and then the other solution was Tovolar which. what the fuck. he's encouraging you to cast MULTIPLE werewolves on your turn?#just completely throws out the entire day/night mechanic to just say “if you're playing werewolves then it's always night”#hey notice how all the “no spells cast from hand” cards in OTJ don't have plot? and only ONE of them has flash#it's because you're supposed to combine them with other cards to make a complete synergetic deck#you don't just throw all the payoffs into a pile and watch them all trigger each other for free#thus why only one werewolf has flash (Oakshade Stalker) and it forces you to spend extra mana to flash it in#thus why i made more non-werewolf cards with flash or activated abilities#the other problem werewolves struggle with is that in high-level play it's easy for the opponent to flip your wolves back#so i also made Twilight Prowler and Heckling Heretic to punish the opponent for doing that#and then Kessig's Shade // Kessig's Bark which doesn't solve any problems i just liked the idea#wait i just realized i made a “no spells cast from hand” card and gave it plot. which is the whole thing i was against. fuck#at least you have to spend an extra mana to plot it and you still need to find something to spend your mana on on the turn you cast it#and it's a cool idea that combines two related archetypes so that's justification enough. maybe#had another idea for a plot card just now and added it to the post#giving werewolves flash is fine because you need to play a support card for it so it's not free. it costs mana#and it's just one card so you still need other support cards to consistently flip your wolves
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Motion Sickness
jason todd x fem!reader
aka jason makes you cry after a fight
warnings: angst with comfort
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“Jason—”
He waves you off immediately, “No, I’m not your problem, okay?”
Your arms drop, “You’re not a problem at all, that’s not what I’m saying—”
“Then what are you saying?” he challenges.
You almost bite your tongue but then decide against it, “I’m saying you’re being an asshole right now just because I tried to help.”
He’s angry and you’re someplace in between desperate and tired, but you push on, hoping you’ll be able to solve this without an extended argument. To little avail though, apparently.
A tense exhale from him, “I don’t need your help, I don’t know how I can make it any clearer.”
“It’s not about needing it—”
“No, it’s about wanting it. I don’t want your fucking help,” he snaps. “I’m grown, I can handle my problems myself.”
You drop your hands to your sides, “Then what am I doing here, Jason?”
“I don’t know!” You can literally see the regret sweep over his face but he lets the moment consume him and the words linger anyways.
You know he doesn’t always think before he talks, especially when he’s mad. You’ve seen it plenty when he’s fighting with his family. This is the first time it’s shown up with you though, and while you know it’s not coming from a place of genuinity—it still really fucking stung.
Far from being in your control, tears slip out, more at his tone than his words, and you remove your gaze in favor of the linoleum tiles. He says nothing as you start to cry, which only makes the heat of the moment worsen.
“Okay,” You take a deep breath, pursing your lips. “You need to go away.”
There’s a long, hard moment of silence, but ultimately he doesn’t fight you on it, only exhales harshly and slams the door on his way out.
The resulting reverberation of the apartment has your shoulders shaking, tears falling onto your shirt.
You and Jason don’t fight often but when you do it’s usually about insecurities and fears coming forward. He’d been having a bad night to start with and all you wanted to do was make him feel better but he wasn’t willing to talk to you or let you do anything for him. He gets selfishly selfless like that, but you know why.
You know him, in and out. You could’ve anticipated this—you should’ve. You should’ve approached the topic more sensitively. And it’s not his fault, his life has taught him that it’s safer to believe that other people don’t have his best interest. You know that.
Yeah, you know him in and out, but he knows you in and out, too. He knows you’ve shown him nothing but kindness and generosity since the day you met and you’ve reinforced a thousand times how safe you are for him. But if he still can’t trust you to care about him, then what are you doing here?
You let yourself fall back onto the arm of the couch, huffing in defeat.
It’s nearing two in the morning when Dick awakens, the bandages across his abdomen digging into his skin uncomfortably. He sits up, bedsheet pooling around his waist. The ache of the bruising pushes him towards his old bedroom door before he’s even fully coherent, narrowly missing shouldering the door frame as he passes through.
He’s still half asleep as he thumps down the staircase, cold hands stuffed in the pocket of his sweatshirt. He’s so out of it in his blind search for painkillers, that he nearly misses the large shadowed figure huddled up on the couch.
Dick stills, blinking warily.
“What’re you doing here?”
His younger brother says nothing, only continues to stew in the shadows, staring at the rug.
As his eyes adjust, Dick takes in his appearance: messy hair, tired eyes, only clad in a t-shirt and sweatpants.
He rubs his eyes, approaching with measured steps, “What happened?”
Jason remains silent for a long minute before grunting out, “Got in a fight.”
Dick nods slowly, shuffling forward a little more to sit on the far end of the couch.
“What’d you do?”
Jason doesn’t have it in him to comment on how his brother immediately knew he was the issue. It just makes the entire thing hurt even worse. Instead, he tells the truth.
“Be myself.”
Dick says nothing,
When the silence persists, Jason elaborates, even though it’s the last thing he wants to admit to.
“I made her cry,” he says, voice below even a whisper. He hates it and he hates himself for leaving you when he knew he’d hurt you.
Dick nods, not saying anything. He’s definitely been there before, though he’s not nearly as volatile as Jason can be, so he can imagine how this likely played out. In any case, Jason has never responded well to being pushed to talk about his feelings so Dick lets him get there in his own time.
He’s half expecting to end up with no results at all, but Jason pipes up after a minute, voice broken.
“I don’t know what she wants me to do,” he rasps.
Dick takes a deep breath, adjusting his posture. “When girls are mad you give them space but when they’re sad you definitely don’t. Is she sad or mad?”
Jason exhales desperately.
“Both, I think.”
Dick nods, understanding.
“Then go home.”
Jason shakes his head, defeated. “She told me to leave. She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“What did you say?”
He huffs, not wanting to bring the memory back up. “I basically told her to fuck off.”
“Yeah,” Dick drawls. “I wouldn’t let that simmer.”
Jason’s head snaps over to him. “She’ll break up with me?”
“No, I don’t—” Dick pauses, thinking over his words. “It’ll be fine. Just go home.”
Despite taking the long route on the way to the manor, Jason sped back home on his bike, now unwilling to leave you alone for another second longer than he had to.
He creeps through the front door of your apartment, proud and only a little hurt that you’d remembered to lock it.
The apartment’s mostly quiet, nothing but a lamp lighting up the front half. He can hear the shower running from where he stands, the waterfall noise awfully muffled from behind the closed bathroom door.
He bolts the door behind him, pushing forward towards the hallway. He approaches the bathroom door, noticing how there’s no light flooding out from underneath.
“Baby?” Jason calls it out quietly, like he’s scared to commit to alerting you of his presence.
He hears no response, but he knows you heard him. He knows you heard him in the same way that he knows you’re sitting on the shower floor, curled in on yourself under the sensory relief that the pouring water brings. He doesn’t know how, he just does.
So he leans against the door, listening closely, and calls out again, “Can I come in?”
There’s a solid ten seconds of silence before you respond, just barely audible over the cascade of water.
“Not right now.”
Your volume has him wincing, saddened and embarrassed that he’s the one that made you feel like this.
He reluctantly walks back to the bedroom with heavy shoulders, thudding his weight down on the mattress. He sits half folded over himself for the next ten minutes, thinking only of you, sitting alone in the shower with your thoughts.
He perks up considerably when he hears the water shut off, and after several long minutes, you emerge from the bathroom, towel wrapped around your middle.
He stands up when you enter the bedroom, hands stiff and awkward at his sides. You barely look at him, having trouble willing yourself to do more than glance.
Your eyes fall downward, your lips pursing. You instinctually move to clutching the towel tighter around you, more than anything because you don’t know what to do with your hands.
It makes his heart break to see you so out of comfort around him—because of him—so he gives you the benefit of privacy, turning around so you can get dressed. It kills him to do it, makes him feel like he’s just some stranger in your life rather than him. But he supposes that he deserves to feel like that right now.
Whether or not you wanted him to turn around goes unsaid, he can only hear the quiet shuffling of you putting clothes on.
He waits until the movement stops, after he hears the squeak of the bed springs and the faint sound of the sheets being pulled up.
He turns around again with a silent sigh, taking in the sight of you laying in bed, back turned to him.
He approaches slowly, stopping just before his knees hit the mattress. He notices quickly that the t-shirt you’d chosen was one of your own. He frowns.
“Sweetheart. Can I touch you?” His voice is soft and low, like he’s trying to coax you back out to him.
It takes a long few moments, but you nod.
He sits down on the bed, still hesitant to go through with it.
“Will you turn over?”
An even longer pause and you’re flipping over to face him. You don’t make eye contact, only look blankly past him. Your blinks are heavy, and even in the dark, he can see that your eyes are still bloodshot.
He brushes your hair back, his fingers feather-light against you, like he’s scared to touch you too harshly. Like he’s touching porcelain.
He lets you hold the silence for a while, reasoning with himself that you’ll talk when you’re ready.
You let it go on longer than he’d hoped, past the point of him knowing what to do with it. He’d hoped you’d yell at him. He can take that, he knows he can. He can see plainly that you’re thinking deeply and wants more than anything for you to say it, scream it if you have to.
He knows he deserves it and he frankly would take anything over the silence. But then again, he doesn’t deserve the reprieve, does he? No, but he’s not strong enough to deny himself the chance to hear your voice.
“Say it,” he urges. “Please.”
Your fingers tap against the bed sheets for a moment before you sit up, almost defeated.
You face him, taking a breath and relenting. “I don’t like that you said that to me.”
He nods, brow deep. “Me neither.”
Your shoulders sag at that, and you feel stuck in the moment. You feel guilty too but you don’t know if you should. He didn’t mean it, you know that, and they weren’t his words, really. But the snap of his voice when he’d said it and the look on his face—it made you feel terrible. It still does.
You look awkwardly to the left, feeling heavily spectated by him and so hyper-conscious of all of your movements. The downturn of your lips gives way to burning in your eyes and before you can do anything about it, tears are spilling out.
Jason sees it immediately, his head lulling helplessly.
“Oh, baby. Please don’t cry, please.”
But that only makes it worse, the tears falling faster and heavier at his soft tone.
He forgoes asking permission and pulls you directly into his chest, a firm hand on the back of your head. It’s what you needed though, to be close to him right now.
“I’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry, baby—” he murmurs against your hair, pressing a rough kiss as he holds you tighter.
You shake your head, sniffling. “It’s okay, Jay.”
“No, it’s not.”
That sentiment lingers for several minutes, as he holds you cheek to chest and rubs soothing patterns into your hair.
It’s not long before you’re able to fully relax against him, his touch feeling nothing short of therapeutic. Your breathing eventually levels out back to baseline and your thoughts start to find peace amongst themselves.
When you’re ready, you sit back from him, letting him see your face again.
He visibly winces as he scans over the tears on your cheeks, how they’re starting to stain.
You’re still upset, a little, but not nearly as much as you’re sure your face is conveying.
“It’s okay,” you tell him, wiping your eyes with your sleeve.
He shakes his head, “If I ever say something like that to you again, hit me. I’m serious.”
You drop your hand onto your lap, tilting your head at him with a serious look. “I’m not going to hit you—”
“Then break up with me. Don’t ever let somebody talk to you like that, especially not me.”
His voice is hard and you can tell the impact of his words have every bit of weight intended.
Your mouth closes and you waver unsure of where to go with that. Your gaze falls down to where your hands lie discarded on your lap and there’s a palpable shift to the air in the room.
“Hey.” He pushes your chin up to make you look at him, “Listen to me. You’re the love of my life. You hear me? I’m supposed to take care of you, make you happy. I don’t…I can’t talk to you like that. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
Your eyes flicker back and forth across each others and you can see the genuine sincerity etched plainly across his face.
He processes the comprehension across your own before his jaw tenses for a moment and he adds, “Nobody’s gonna talk to you like that, much less me. Yes?”
You start to nod slowly and he mirrors you until he’s convinced of your belief in the statement.
He rubs calm circles into your thighs as you both sit with the conversation, the light sounds of each others breaths the only sound heard. This silence isn’t the same as it was before though, it’s safer, more comfortable. It’s familiar, if not weighted.
“I love you,” you tell him quietly.
His eyebrows furrow like his heart was just shattered.
“I love you too, baby. So much.”
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🦟 if you don't reblog things i'm actively sending bad vibes your way 🦟 and maybe also a plague
#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd/you#jason todd imagine#jason todd thoughts#jason todd/reader#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x reader#red hood/you#red hood x you#red hood/reader#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction#dc x y/n#dc x you#dc x reader#dc imagine#dc fanfic
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smut nsfw mdni
boyfriend!toji who is immediately concerned when you call him crying. he’s asking all sorts of questions to you, bombarding you while not letting you speak a single word. “what happened”, “is something wrong”, “do i need to kill someone”, “do you just miss me” or “do i need to come back right now”, but he can’t help it! he gets upset on your behalf, even when you tell him it’s your period making you so unhappy right now, all he wants to do is fight the little aches in your tummy.
boyfriend!toji who does not know the reason you’re crying right now isn’t because of the cramps or the lack of chocolate in the fridge. it’s the pool of warmth in your belly that you’re feeling, because you’re so wet and needy right now, but you can’t do anything about it because you’re on your period! he immediately sighs in relief, but gets serious again just as quick. “we’ll need to do something about it,” you whine, but what could you, or he, do?
boyfriend!toji who knows that for a few days from now, you can only whine and cry to him either in person or on the phone about how much you want to take his dick inside of you, or how much you want him to eat you out, or how you want his fingers to pulse inside you. in, out, in, out, he can’t help but zone out as you cry to him, begging to take his cock for the fifth time since your period started, and he knows he can’t do anything just yet. it angers him because he’s not able to help you in any way.
so boyfriend!toji tries to control himself. he tries to forget how good it feels when you clench around his big cock. he tries to forget how much he wants your soaking cunt on his face too. he tries to ignore the calls from you at work, knowing that hearing you babble on and on about what you want him to do to you will only make him grow needier, and he’ll just have to solve the problem by himself.
boyfriend!toji who soon after gets cornered in a room by you, and you’re so emotional; you think he’s upset at you because he’s been ignoring your calls so often. but he can’t help it. he does not want to burden you with his pleasure, especially when he can’t help you chase yours. but then you hug him so tightly and cling to his body like a koala, and he has to reassure you in this vulnerable state. so he kisses the top of your head and takes a day or two off work to take care of you. he tries to ignore the dull ache in his own cock for as long as he can when he is around you, and fixes the problem when he showers.
boyfriend!toji who snaps when you walk in on him jerking off to older pictures and videos and audios of you. he’s still listening to all those voice recordings you had sent of you talking about how much you want to please him and his big cock. so he slowly guides you inside and makes you suck on his pretty cock. he pulls your hair back and tugs you by your shirt harshly to wrap your lips around him properly or bob your head properly. making you do all the work, promising to return the favour as soon as you “get well”.
boyfriend!toji who keeps his promise, and does fuck you like he hasn’t for years, and eats you out like he’s been starved for decades after your period passes by. he lays you down on his bed and lets you take all of him at once, grinning evilly when you cry out. “you wanted this, didn’t you, baby? or do i need to remind you? see, i still have those lovely recordings you sent me…” see, you can’t blame him! he’s been trying to control himself all this time too, so he needs it just as bad.
“quit complaining now, or would ya like me to make that period disappear for a year? mm, i think i’d like that, these few days have been fucking horrible without your sweet, sweet cunt, darl’”
© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fic#toji#toji fushiguro#jjk imagines#toji imagine
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Breaking up is hard to do!
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synopsis: breaking up with the jjk men.
⚝characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami
⚝content: heavy angst, gaslighting(Gojo's), depression (Suguru's), mutual breakup(Nanami's)
⚝wc: 3.5k
Satoru Gojo
“Yeah so then Yuji popped out of the crate and surprised them all! You should’ve seen it baby!” Satoru wheezes holding his stomach as he recalls the event from the day.
No matter how hard you try though, you can only muster a small smile.
It had become really hard to do much else recently. With the weight of the hundreds of tasks at work taking its toll. Satoru looks over at you, waiting for a laugh—but it doesn’t come.
“Hellooo? Everything alright princess?” He questions giving your hand a gentle squeeze.
“Mhmm!” You nod.
He looks at you for another moment, unreadable expression on his face. Satoru shifts, clearly expecting more from you. “You sure? You’ve been quiet tonight. That’s not like you,” he says, his voice still light, but there’s a hint of curiosity now.
You try to hold back the frustration, but it bubbles up anyway. “I’m just tired, Satoru.”
“Tired? Seriously?” he mutters, pulling his hand away. “You work, what, a nine-to-five? You act like you’re running yourself into the ground.”
You blink, taken aback by his dismissive tone. “Satoru, it’s not just about the hours. It’s everything piling up, and—”
“Piling up?” He cuts you off with a scoff, already reaching for his phone. “Why didn’t you just say something sooner? You know I could’ve hired someone to handle that for you. I’ve got the money. You shouldn’t be stressing over... whatever this is.”
The words sting. You knew his mind would go there. It always does—like money could just make the exhaustion disappear, like hiring someone to take care of the smaller details would magically solve everything.
“It’s not about the money, Satoru.” you snap, trying to hold onto your patience. “I don’t need someone else doing my job for me. I just... I need you to listen.”
He raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Listen? What do you expect me to say? You’re tired. I get it. But don’t act like you’re drowning when I could have fixed this a long time ago. Hell, I could’ve bought you time off or flown you somewhere. You're sittin' here sulking like I can’t take care of things.”
You clench your fists, the exhaustion now compounded by frustration. “It’s not about you fixing things, Satoru. Sometimes I just need support—not your money.”
He stares at you, eyes narrowing. “Right. So you want to feel miserable instead of letting me help. That’s real smart, princess.”
Your heart pounds in your chest as you shove clothes into your bag, the sound of zippers and drawers slamming echoing through the room. You can feel Satoru’s presence behind you, hovering, but you don’t stop. You can’t. Not after that.
“C'mon, princess.” he says, his voice exasperated, like he’s the one who's supposed to be annoyed. “What are you doing? Where do you think you’re going?”
You don’t answer, your hands moving faster, yanking more clothes off hangers, ignoring the sting behind your eyes. You’re so angry you can barely breathe.
“I’ll book us a trip,” Satoru tries again, a hint of desperation creeping into his usually arrogant tone. “How about Paris? We’ll stay at that five-star hotel you like, the one with the private balcony. You love that place.”
Your jaw clenches. “This isn’t about a vacation, Satoru,” you snap, stuffing the last of your things into the bag. “It’s not about your money or your fancy hotels.”
“Then what is it about?” he shoots back, his voice rising with frustration. “You’re acting like I haven’t given you everything. "What more do you want?"
You freeze, bag halfway zipped, your body trembling as you turn to face him. His icy blue eyes are wide, confused, and maybe even a little hurt, but you’re beyond caring. “I want you to see me!” you shout, the words tearing out of you, louder than you intended. “I don’t need you to throw money at the problem! I need you to actually understand what I’m going through!”
Satoru stares at you, speechless for once. His mouth opens, but no words come out. He looks almost... shocked, like he can’t comprehend that his money, his status, can’t fix this. That he can’t fix this.
“Do you even care?” you ask, your voice quieter now, but no less angry. “Do you care about how I feel? Or is it just easier for you to throw cash at me until I stop complaining?”
He’s silent, his gaze hardening as he crosses his arms. “I’m trying to help. What else do you want me to do?”
“I want you to listen!” You throw your hands up in frustration, feeling more alone than ever. “I don’t want your money. I don’t want trips or fancy dinners. I want you to care about me, Satoru. Not just the idea of me.”
His lips press into a thin line, but he says nothing. The silence is louder than any of his words.
As your hand grips the doorknob, ready to leave, Satoru’s voice cuts through the silence, sharp and bitter.
“Right, run off to Shoko’s.” he scoffs, his arms crossed defensively. “You always do this, don’t you? The moment things get tough, you bolt. Guess it’s easier to complain to her than actually deal with me.”
His words hit you like a punch to the gut, stopping you in your tracks. You turn slowly to face him, disbelief clouding your vision. He’s standing there, arms folded, arrogance in his posture.
“I always do this?” you repeat, your voice trembling with anger. “I’ve stayed through everything, Satoru!"
“You’re just like Suguru.” Satoru spits out, the words dripping with bitterness and desperation.
Your hand freezes on the handle. You weren’t expecting that. Slowly, you turn to look at him, and the mask of arrogance has cracked. His eyes are wild, wide with something close to panic. “Running away the moment things get hard,” he continues, his voice shaking slightly. “Is that it? Just gonna leave like he did?”
Your heart skips a beat, anger fading for a moment as something else stirs inside you. You’ve seen Satoru angry before, frustrated, even cold—but this? This is different.
“That’s not fair.” you say quietly, though the anger still simmers beneath the surface. “I’m not leaving because things are hard. I’m leaving because you’re not listening.”
Satoru’s eyes narrow, his lips pressing into a hard line. Then he snaps, his voice cutting through the tension like a blade, sharp and cold. “Well, fine. Go. I survived him abandoning me, I’ll survive you too.”
His words sting, burning through the air with a finality that makes your breath hitch. It’s a challenge, a defense—his way of masking the fear that’s clawing at him from the inside out. He’s pushing you away before you can leave, just like he’s done with everything else that’s threatened to crack his carefully controlled world.
You stand there, frozen for a moment, staring at him as his walls rise higher, shutting you out. This is what it’s come to. He’s too scared to let you in, too scared to admit that you leaving isn’t something he can just survive—that it’s something that terrifies him.
But he won’t say it. He won’t ask you to stay.
And that’s when you know.
Suguru Geto
You rest under the comfort of your blanket. How many days have you been in this bed? Three days? Four?
The world was just too much right now, and your room was the only security available. It had been a week since Suguru vanished without a word, leaving behind nothing but unanswered questions and broken trust. Principal Yaga’s words still echoed in your mind—a whole village slaughtered, his parents among the dead.
And not even a text.
You weren’t sure if he was even alive, maybe it would be better if he wasn’t. At least then you wouldn’t have to come to terms with the fact that the love of your life was now a wanted killer.
You took another tissue from the box, blowing into it and tossing the crumpled mess into the garbage can.
Satoru hadn’t responded either, was he okay? Did he know?
Your mind screamed for silence, for the thoughts to stop, but they kept coming, relentless.
“Angel?”
That voice… no it couldn’t be. You lower the covers from your face.
It was
“Hi baby...” his normally soothing voice does little to alleviate the ache in your chest.
“You…” your voice barely a whisper, threatening to break. “I thought you were dead.”
He moves closer, his footsteps barely making a sound on the floor, and you finally take him in. Despite everything, despite the horrors you’ve been told, he looks… normal.
How could he look so much like the Suguru you knew, the Suguru you loved, when everything inside of you was shattered?
Was this the same man who held you close? Whispered sweet nothings in your ear—promised to protect you with his life?
“It’s me, (Y/N).” he says softly, his voice cutting through the silence as if he had read your thoughts.
The tenderness in his tone feels like a knife twisting in your chest. How could he say that—so casually, so easily? Like everything was normal, like your world hadn’t come crashing down around you. You blink, trying to force the tears back, trying to find the right words, but nothing comes.
“Are you?” your voice is small, barely more than a whisper. Doubt lingers in every syllable.
He doesn’t respond to your question. Instead, his gaze softens, and without a word, he pulls the covers off of you. The cold air rushes over your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth you had buried yourself in, and for a moment you flinch, instinctively clutching the blanket before you let it slip from your fingers.
His eyes trace over your fragile form, and there’s something in them—a flicker of sympathy, regret, even—but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s the reason for your downward spiral. He knows it too. The weight of it presses on him, though he doesn’t say a word. Instead, he moves with a gentleness you hadn’t expected, sliding his arms under you and lifting you up as if you weighed nothing.
You want to protest, want to ask what he thinks he’s doing, but you’re too tired, too drained to fight. So you let him carry you. His arms are steady, and despite everything, you can’t help but melt in his embrace.
He takes you into the bathroom, the sound of running water filling the space as he sets you down gently. You can feel the cool tile under your feet as he kneels in front of the tub, turning the faucet on and testing the temperature.
You had so many things you wanted to say. You wanted to yell at him, curse him, ask him why. But you couldn’t.
He dips his hand under the stream, adjusting the temperature until it’s just right. His movements are deliberate, methodical, as if this is the only way he knows how to show you any kind of care right now.
You stand there, numb and silent, watching him. The man who destroyed your world, now kneeling before you, acting as though he can piece it back together with something as simple as a bath. It feels absurd, almost cruel, but at the same time, you don’t have the strength to stop him.
Suguru rises to his feet, his presence towering yet calm as he began to undress you. Gentle hands pulling his t-shirt off of you, the one you had been clinging onto for days.
His hands brush lightly against your skin as he lifts the shirt over your head, sending a shiver down your spine.
He had seen you in this state before, many times. But this….this was different.
Suguru guides you to the shower, washing your body with a gentleness you missed so deeply.
You close your eyes, letting him take care of you, even though you don’t understand why or how he can. The silence between you grows heavier with every passing second, filled with words unspoken and emotions too tangled to sort out.
Finally, you speak, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water. “Why are you here, Suguru?”
His hand pauses for a moment, the washcloth resting against your skin. You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, but when he answers, his voice is low, steady, like he’s speaking more to himself than to you.
“Because I….I love you” His voice almost too quiet, as if he’s afraid to say the words out loud.
“Then why, Suguru?” your voice trembles, almost breaking under the weight of your next words. “Is it true? You killed those people?”
The washcloth falls from his hand, splashing into the water as the silence between you deepens. He doesn’t speak right away, and the hesitation in his silence is an answer in itself.
You swallow hard, the air thick with the weight of the truth you already know but can’t bear to accept.
“They were… in the way,” he finally admits, his voice low, almost hollow.
You step out of the shower, the warm water sliding off your skin in slow rivulets. Without thinking, you reach for the towel, wrapping it tightly around yourself like armor.
This isn’t the man you loved, the one who spoke of protecting the weak, of valuing life. Yet, there’s something so heartbreakingly familiar in the way he says it—like a twisted version of the Suguru you knew, now wrapped in darkness.
“But those were people, Suguru,” you say, your voice fragile, as if you’re trying to reach the man you once knew beneath the monster he’s become. “Innocent people. How could you…?”
He takes a deep breath, stepping closer to you, his hand brushing against your skin, cold and distant. “Because this world is broken.” he murmurs. “And I need to fix it. I had to do it. Can’t you see that? We—sorcerers—we’re meant for something greater. And they… they were holding us back.”
You shake your head, tears brimming in your eyes. “I don’t understand, Suguru. I don’t understand any of this.”
He steps closer, his hand cupping your face gently, as though trying to reassure you with his touch. "Come with me." he whispers, his voice softer now, pleading. “Run away with me. Together, we can build something new. You don’t have to be a part of this broken world anymore. We can leave it all behind.”
Before you can respond, his lips press against yours, a kiss that’s both gentle and urgent, as though he’s trying to pour every unsaid word, every plea, into this one moment. It’s the Suguru you remember—the Suguru who once made you feel safe, loved.
But the reality of who he’s become crashes down on you.
You pull away, your hands pressed firmly against his chest, creating a wall between you. “No.” you whisper, your voice breaking. “I can’t.”
For a moment, Suguru just stands there, staring at you, his dark eyes searching yours for something—some kind of understanding, some sign that you’ll change your mind. His hand lingers on your cheek, his touch softer now, almost hesitant, as though he’s trying to hold on to whatever connection is left.
But then, slowly, he withdraws, his hand falling back to his side. He straightens up, his expression hardening as he steps away from you, giving you the space you so desperately need. The softness in his eyes fades, replaced by the cold determination you’ve seen before.
“You’ll see,” he says, his voice quiet, but there’s a sharp edge to it now. “One day, you’ll understand. When you see what I’ve seen, when you finally understand the truth about this world—you’ll come around. I know you will.”
His words hang heavy in the air, and without another glance, he turns and walks toward the door, leaving you standing alone, trembling in the silence.
Nanami Kento
Kento was an honest man. There was nothing he ever kept from you. Other people might view him as a hard shell, but you could read him like a book.
So when he came to bed that night, holding you just a little tighter than usual—you knew something was up.
You shifted slightly in his embrace, his grip tightening instinctively as if he feared you might slip away.
“Kento?” you asked softly, your voice breaking the stillness of the room.
“I’ve decided to talk to Gojo tomorrow.” he said quietly, his voice steady but with a hint of resolve. “I want to return to being a sorcerer.”
The words hung in the air, sinking into you like lead. You stiffened, a sharp sting blooming in your chest as you processed his decision.
“Are you seriously considering this?” Your voice trembled with a mix of hurt and disbelief. “You know what that life entails. You’ve seen the consequences. Are you really willing to go back to that danger?”
Kento’s silence was heavier than any response he could have given. His arms, though still holding you close, seemed distant now, as if they were reaching out from across a chasm of uncertainty.
“I’ve thought it through,” he said finally, though his tone lacked the conviction he tried to project. “I need to do this for myself. I can’t keep pretending I’m satisfied with where I am.”
The last words echoed in your ears their weight sinking deep into your heart. “So you’re not satisfied with me?” you whispered, barely able to speak past the knot forming in your throat.
Kento’s eyes widened in shock. “No, that’s not what I meant—”
“Then what is it, Kento?” you demanded, frustration and hurt sharpening your words. “We have something good here. You have a good job. You left Jujustu High for a reason! What about Haibara—”
At the mention of Haibara, Kento’s face hardened. His eyes, which had been searching for the right words, now burned with anger and frustration. “Don’t.”
Your eyes widen at his tone. He sighs, trying to catch himself. “This…isn’t about him, or his fate. It’s about my own path, my own choices. You think I’m risking everything without knowing the cost?”
“And what do you expect me to do, Kento?” Your voice cracked, raw emotion rising as you slid out of bed, unable to lie still any longer. “Sit at home and worry about you? Not knowing if you’re going to come back in one piece? I can’t live like that! I can’t live every day with the fear that you might not come back, that you might be hurt or worse?”
The silence that followed was suffocating. You paced the room, your emotions boiling over, while Kento sat still, his gaze following you but offering no solace.
“You’re asking me to accept a life where every day is a gamble with your safety!” You stopped, turning to face him, your chest heaving with emotion. “How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to pretend everything’s okay when the reality is that you might not come back to me? This isn’t just about you, Kento. It’s about us, our future!”
Kento ran a hand through his blond locks, frustration etched into every line of his face. “I’m not asking you to pretend it’s okay. I’m asking you to understand that this is something I need to do for myself, even if it means risking everything.”
You blinked, tears blurring your vision as his words sank in. “And what if everything we have is the cost?”
The question lingered, echoing in the space between you. Kento rose from the bed, standing tall before you, but the weight of the moment seemed to bow his shoulders.
He stepped closer, his hands trembling slightly as they cupped your face. His eyes, filled with a deep sadness, searched yours, looking for understanding that he knew might never come. “I love you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “You need to know that.”
You shook your head, your voice breaking. “But that isn’t enough… is it? It never will be…”
There was a heavy silence between you, the weight of your words pressing down on both of you.
“I… can’t watch you throw your life away, Kento.”
He took a deep breath, the sound heavy with resignation. "Then… we’ve both made our decision."
His hands, which had held you with such tenderness, felt distant as you pulled away. You took a step back, a sob catching in your throat.
He opens his mouth, but no words come out with a trembling breath, he stepped forward and gently pulled you into his arms. The embrace was tender, filled with the weight of finality.
He buried his face in the curve of your neck, inhaling your scent one last time as if trying to imprint it into his memory. The warmth of his body, once a comfort, now felt like a dagger in your chest.
“I’m sorry.” he whispered, his voice strained. The words were barely audible, but the sentiment hung heavy in the air.
Kento lingered for a moment, his hand sliding from your back to gently cup your face. His thumb brushed away the tear you hadn’t realized had fallen, and his expression softened with a promise you weren’t sure either of you could believe.
“I’ll come back,” he whispered, his voice strained but resolute. “Somehow… I’ll find my way back to you. One day.”
You clung to him for a moment longer, feeling the ache of goodbye in every fiber of your being, before he slowly pulled away. Leaving you.
#kbwrites#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#nanami kento#geto suguru#jjk gojo#jjk geto#jjk nanami#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#geto x reader#geto x you#geto x y/n#gojo angst#nanami angst#geto angst
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The Perfect Ride : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris
summary: you can't help but wonder what you were thinking putting heels on, but as the pain nags away at you, luckily you've got lando there to offer his services
Lando struggled to hold back his laughter as he glanced back again, watching as you tentatively walked, holding onto anything around you for support. In theory, wearing heels to dinner at his parents was a great idea, but now you were suffering and walking each step full of regret.
“Please tell me we’ve not got that much longer to go,” you sighed as Lando walked towards you and closed the distance between you both. “I can’t believe you let me leave the house in heels.”
Finally a chuckle escaped from Lando, having asked you several times before you left the house whether you were sure you wanted to wear them. You were confident that things would be fine, brushing Lando aside despite how vocal he was with his concerns for you.
“I told you so,” he shrugged, allowing you to rest your hand against his shoulder to steady yourself. “I was serious when I said you should’ve left the house in your crocs.”
“Sure, I’m your parents would’ve loved me showing up in my crocs, are you actually insane Lan?”
With Lando holding onto you, you started walking again, wincing every single time your foot hit the floor. You were keen to make a good impression, having only met Lando’s parents a handful of times, but now you knew that impressing them was not as important as being comfortable.
Lando’s arm snaked around your waist as he walked at your pace, encouraging you to keep moving, trying his best to distract you from the pain in your feet.
“Sorry that I’m taking so long,” you told Lando, glancing across and meeting his eyes. “We probably could’ve been home by now if I wasn’t wearing these stupid things. This is ridiculous.”
Lando offered you a sympathetic smile, “it’s pretty nice weather tonight, I’m quite happy being out here and admiring the beautiful sunset, I don’t mind.”
“Nice try trying to make me feel a little less guilty.”
“I’m being serious,” Lando tried his best to assure you, “when was the last time we got to take a slow walk and just soak in our surroundings for a little while?”
You stopped again, letting go of a deep breath. “It would be nice to be able to do that without feeling like I want to get a saw and chop both of my feet off.”
Your confession had Lando giggling, as much as he sympathised with how you were feeling, he was struggling to keep himself composed and supportive amongst all of your dramatics.
Despite how nice you wanted to look, Lando never wanted you to make the effort at a cost. He didn’t want you to feel like you had to suffer just for him, to look good for him, he wouldn’t have cared if you showed up in your pyjamas, just having you there with his family was more than enough for him.
“We might still be here to see the sunrise too if we carry on like this,” Lando smiled, trying his best to bring a smile back to your face.
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re starting to enjoy this?” You challenged, narrowing your eyes in Lando’s direction. “I might just bin them and walk bare foot for the rest of the way home instead.”
Lando’s head shook, picking you up as soon as you bent down to undo the buckle of your shoe. “You can’t do that, it’s not safe baby. I’ve got a different idea that might be able to solve your problem though?”
You watched as Lando stood in front of you, tapping against his back, inviting you to jump up. “Are you being serious?” You laughed, watching as he looked over his shoulder at you, nodding his head. “You think you can piggyback me home?”
“I do actually want to get home at some point tonight.”
Lando tapped his back again, feeling your hands hold onto his shoulders. You counted down before jumping up, wrapping your legs around his waist, feeling his hands go underneath your knees to lift you up and keep you secure as your arms draped in front of Lando’s chest.
“See,” he smiled, immediately starting to walk with you comfortably resting against him. “It doesn’t even feel like I’m carrying anything on my back you’re so light.”
“You are such a liar Lando Norris.”
“I’m serious,” he chuckled, walking at a much quicker pace than he had done whilst you were on your feet too. “All you need to do is relax and enjoy the ride and let me worry about making sure you get home in one piece tonight.”
Your head nodded as you took a look around the street, figuring out whereabouts you were. “Have I ever told you how much of a hero you are? Always saving the day for me.”
“That’s just what boyfriends are for, right?” Lando laughed in response.
Sure, in a relationship you were supposed to be looked after, but Lando always seemed to find a way to go above and beyond. If you were ever stuck, he was always there to help you with the right answer to fix things.
Your smile was wide as Lando continued walking, it was surprisingly comfortable up on his back, making the most of not having to worry about the ache in your feet for a little while.
“I hope you know how important you are to receive treatment like this, I don’t offer a piggyback to anyone you know,” Lando smirked, breaking the silence between you both.
You hummed back at him, finding yourself beginning to get sleepy. Lando could feel your head beginning to weigh down on top of his own, hearing your breaths get a little heavier as you struggled to keep your eyes open. A smile crept onto Lando’s face, relieved to feel and hear how comfortable you were.
“Don’t be falling asleep on me up there,” he teased, “I can’t walk the rest of the way home talking to myself, people will think I’m weird if they hear that.”
“I’m awake, I promise,” you assured him, fighting the urge to close your eyes, trying your best to focus on something to stay awake.
Lando glanced up questionably back at you, knowing it was only a matter of time before he would hear you falling asleep, knowing when he got home it would be his job to get you tucked into bed and try not to wake you up.
“Are we almost home?” You asked Lando, not quite sure how much longer you could hold on for, feeling sleep getting closer with every second that passed.
“Don’t worry about that, close your eyes if you want to love,” Lando smiled, “I don’t mind if you do, I’ll just sing to myself for the rest of the way home.
You nodded in reply to Lando, “thank you for always being there for me and helping me, I really do appreciate it Lando.”
“I know you do,” Lando whispered, “but you never have to thank me, I love being the one that gets to take care of you.”
“And you do such a good job of it too.”
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one#f1 fanfic#f1 reaction#lando norris drabble#lando norris x you#lando norris fluff#lando norris x reader#formula x reader#formula one drabble#formula 1 drabble#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 drabble#f1 x you
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