#wouldn’t want to have it any other way <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[moonlight-alexia]

forever with you | a.p.

alexia putellas x reader | 2.5k | forever with you sounds perfect to alexia, there isn't anyone else she'd rather be with / alexia proposing to you

italics indicate that it's a little memory/flashback

ˏˋ°•*⁀ it is officially the 4th here in aus, my favourites birthday <3 so here is a little alexia fic for her birthday. i hope you all enjoy it

‘Ah mi amor,’ You let out a small laugh as Alexia gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto her lap. You’d both been caught up in celebrating the supercopa win, along with Alexia and her captain duties, you hadn’t seen much of each other, ‘I’ve missed you,’ You let out a soft sigh, smiling as she tucked your hair behind your ear.

‘I’m here now Ale,’ Leaning into her touch you placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth, lightly teasing her.

Though Alexia wasn’t having any of that and swiftly pulled you in for a kiss. Your lips softly brushing against each other, adding more pressure and deepening the kiss.

‘Dios mío, get a room,’ You heard Mapi yell before something soft was hitting you both making you pull apart. A silent agreement between you and Alexia that you were both ready to go back to your hotel room. Wanting to spend some time where it was just the two of you.

Alexia was already in bed when you came back from the bathroom. You always took a lot more care and had a much more in depth skincare routine than Alexia did so it was quite common for her to already be in bed, waiting for you. More times than not after a big match like the one you just played today, Alexia would already be asleep, even if she’d wake slightly when you slipped in beside her and protest that she was just resting her eyes and not really asleep. 

But the protests always died when you’d pull her into your side, arm wrapped around Alexia’s waist, her neck snuggled in the crook of yours, a soft kiss on her forehead and she’d be back asleep within seconds.

Though tonight, even though she was physically tired, Alexia knew she wasn’t going to get the best sleep tonight. Even with the thought of being cuddled up against your side, the weight of the ring she had in her bag, packed so delicately and very well hidden in case you went to grab anything out of her bag like you normally did, would be on her mind all night.

No matter what the outcome of the final, Alexia had the proposal planned. Perfectly planned exactly how she knew you would like. Planned 

‘Ale, did you need-,’ Except, those plans went out the window the moment she looked up at you as you were making your way to bed. You were wearing one of Alexia’s hoodies, the one that you’d claimed as your own when the two of you first started dating. Your favourite of Alexia’s and you’d always make sure she wore it right before you’d go to your respective national teams. Helped you sleep better before matches if it felt like Alexia was there next to you.

Most of Alexia’s clothes were slightly too big on you and the hoodie was just that. Your hair you had messily put up in a bun, not caring how it looked since it was only up so it wouldn’t get in your way when going through your nightly routine knowing you would take it out the second you got into bed. The warmth of the light from the lamp hitting your skin just right, along with the natural glow of your skin. 

To Alexia, in this light you looked utterly beautiful, no words could accurately describe just how gorgeous you are. At least none that could ever do it justice in Alexia’s eyes. It’s in moments like this that Alexia wishes she could take photos with her eyes, she just wants you to see and understand how you are to her. As if the small smile and dreamy look in her eyes whenever her gaze landed upon yours wouldn’t tell you on its own. You were the one for her and she never let you feel any other way or leave room for you to doubt her feelings for you.

Alexia’s known for a while that she wants to marry you. You stole her heart and never gave it back, not that she minded you kept it safe and unbroken. It was a moment quite similar to this one right now when Alexia realised that she wanted to officially spend forever with you.

It had been a long day at training, even more so since you’d lost the last game. Losing wasn’t something you’d often come across these days playing at Barcelona, but it wasn’t something that you could avoid forever. The lows always helped to make the wins feel that much better. 

There was always an intensity to training and after a loss it was always much more intense. So going home, the home you shared and built together with your girlfriend, made these days feel that much better. 

‘Ale,’ You softly sighed, turning your head so you were looking up at her, ‘You’re sending me to sleep and it’s still so early,’ You were laying with your head on Alexia’s lap, a movie on in the background while she was caught up with, you were sure it was, something related to football on her ipad. Her fingers gently playing with your hair and, every now and then,  running softly along the back of your neck. 

‘Mi vida, just relax,’ Alexia’s attention was fully on you now, leaning down lightly kissing the top of your head, ‘You deserve it cariño,’ The softness in which she spoke to you always made your heart flutter and your body fill with warmth. She knew how hard you worked and how you struggled to let yourself rest when you needed it. 

Alexia peppered your face with soft kisses, deliberately skipping your lips each time she got close, ‘Amor,’ You whined softly, Alexia smiled, her hand tracing along your jaw while her lips hovered above yours. You were about to whine again when she let them connect. A slow, deep kiss, lips lingering against yours momentarily when she pulled away. 

‘Te amo,’ You whispered it back, both of you in your own little bubble, ‘Now rest, I’m right here if you need me, not going anywhere,’ 

Alexia gently rubbed along your back while you curled up even more against her. It didn’t take long for you to allow yourself to relax with Alexia, it had always come naturally. At the end of the day her arms were your safety, whatever happened during the day didn’t matter as long as you were in her embrace.

The glow of the afternoon sun slipped through the bottom of the blinds, the glow illuminating your face. Some days your schedules were packed full, so Alexia always enjoyed these quiet moments with you. Whatever she had been doing on her ipad was fully forgotten, she was captivated by you. 

The thought of forever with you, of marrying you, popped into her head that day. Realising that she would be content with spending every moment of her life with you, wanting to share every moment and achievement with you. Knowing that without you by her side she wouldn’t feel completely whole. From that day she’d started planning and trying to figure out the perfect proposal, though Alexia would never forget the day that made her almost accidentally blurt out a proposal. 

It wasn’t even a loss, but it was a very sloppy win and it hit Alexia harder than anyone could have anticipated. She had seemed fine afterwards, but you’d failed to realise she was just going through the motions completely on autopilot. Alexia wasn’t the loudest or most out there person but she wasn’t the quietest either.

Alexia couldn’t help but put even more pressure on herself. It was a habit she had, along with your help, tried so hard to stop. The pressure to be the best all the time, and you hated seeing how she would shut down when the weight of that came crashing down pulling her with it. That didn’t stop the occasional slip and Alexia falling back into that habit, one that came so naturally to her.

‘Lo siento, mi amor,’ You crouched down in front of Alexia. You don’t recall hearing Alexia speak a word since you both got home, though you’d been distracted trying to get the both of you something to eat, ‘I should’ve noticed,’ Your voice was soft and small. You weren’t necessarily talking to Alexia right now, knowing that she wouldn’t really be listening to anything outside of her own head.

‘All those missed chances,’ You knew she was thinking about the game before she’d even said it. She was fidgeting with her fingers so you took her hands in your own, your thumb gently rubbing over her hand.

‘You know it wasn’t just you. You don’t have to be perfect for us, there’s no such thing and you know that,’ Your voice still had a softness to it but there was a slight firm undertone, one that was needed to break through all the self doubts that was filling her head, you needed her to hear you, ‘There are days when, despite everything we do, it just doesn’t click for us out there. But we will come back stronger next time. You’re not alone in this and you don’t need to carry the weight of it all by yourself. You’ve always got me, the team and the fans. No one needs- I don’t need you to be perfect,’ 

You could see the conflict in her eyes, the hesitation to believe what you were saying, ‘It’s not you that has to fix everything all the time. Yes you’re our captain, pero amor, lean on us we’ve got you, I’ve got you. You are more than enough exactly as you are,’ You brought each of her hands up to your lips, softly kissing each knuckle while looking up at her.

A deep sigh, Alexia nodded slightly leaning forward so her forehead was resting against yours. You wrapped your arms around Alexia, tightly holding her against you, ‘Gracias, mi amor. How do you always know what to say, what I need,’ 

‘Because I just know you Ale,’ Another way to say you love Alexia, a way that means more to her than she could ever tell you, ‘How about a warm bath and an early night? Bubbles in the bath?’ 

‘I’m not a kid,’ Alexia’s voice was small and you could hear the small pout her lips were forming. 

You chuckled softly, ‘Oh my mistake, so you really really don’t want a warm bath with little bubbles,’ Your tone was teasing.

‘Con una vela vainilla y pequeña, por favor,’ Alexia kissed the side of your neck, you could feel a small smile against you and your heart felt a little lighter knowing Alexia was going to be okay.

When you wrapped her up in a soft, fluffy blanket in bed later that night, holding her close to you. She almost asked you to marry her, while she took care of you, you never hesitated to take care of her. To let her know it was okay to not be the one to take care of everyone all the time. Alexia let you take care of her, she felt safe enough to do that with you.

Her plans didn’t matter anymore, right now was perfect.

‘Alexia…’ Your voice cut through, bringing Alexia back to reality. You were now standing at the side of the bed, lightly waving your hand in front of Alexia’s face. She registered the use of her name and raised an eyebrow at you, ‘Knew that would make you come back to me,’ You smirked knowing there’s only certain times when she doesn’t mind you using her name and right now wasn’t one of them.

‘¿Estás bien?’ You asked since it had been a long day, you’d more than understand her being tired but zoning out was on the more unusual side for Alexia.

‘More than,’ Alexia couldn’t wait any longer. You were confused when she sprung out of bed, almost like there was a fire she had to get away from as quickly as she could, ‘You’re so beautiful,’ Alexia had circled the bed, wrapping an arm around your waist bringing you into her, her other hand cupping your cheek. You leaned into her touch, your face heating up at the intimacy. After all these years together and Alexia still made you feel like you were a teenager having her first crush.

Alexia kissed you deeply, guiding you to sit on the edge of the bed once she pulled away. There was this goofy, lovesick smile that wouldn’t leave her face when she looked at you. You sitting in front of her, in her hoodie, in your natural beauty and the thought of forever felt like it would never be long enough with you.

‘Mi vida, wait here, por favor,’ A small chuckle left your lips, still confused with Alexia’s sudden actions but she was cute so of course you listened and watched her rummage through her bag.

Walking back towards you, hands behind her back holding the box out of view for now, Alexia suddenly grew very nervous. She didn’t have any doubt that you would say no, but she was second guessing if it was the right moment for you. It felt right for Alexia so she pushed through the doubts, also worried that she wouldn’t find the right words or convey them in the way she wants to. She didn’t have that extra mirror practice like she had planned to have the night before.

A small timid, partly awkward still partly goofy and loved up, smile graced her lips, ‘Mi amor, I had this all planned out but looking at you right now, seeing you and just being here with you, nothing has ever felt more right,’ A small gasp left your lips when Alexia knelt down on one knee, revealing the box and the ring inside it to you, ‘You are so beautiful and I really love the life we’ve built together. There is no one else but you, you are the one for me, we just fit together like we were made for each other. Like you were made for me,’ Your eyes were starting to well up with tears with each word Alexia spoke. She was pouring all her emotion and feelings into her words and you could feel it so deep within you, ‘I want a forever with you, mi vida, will you do me the honour of being my wife,’ 

So overcome with emotion, it felt like all the air had been sucked from your lungs. You nodded furiously and let out the smallest, ‘Sí,’ while you pulled Alexia up your lips crashing onto hers. Deep, breathless and full of a joy that couldn’t be contained between you both. 

Alexia chuckled when you finally let her pull away slightly, ‘Amor, amor, I need to put the ring on your finger, por favor,’ 

You laughed forgetting that you skipped over that part entirely, just wanting to be close to her. Alexia took your hand and slid the ring on your finger, gently leaving a kiss to seal her love that would stay with you for a lifetime.

Alexia held you in her arms, your eyes transfixed on the ring that shone beautifully on your finger. You still couldn’t believe it, ‘This was perfect Ale,’ Whispering out into the soft comfortable silence that filled the hotel room you were staying in, ‘I love you Alexia,’

‘I love you, more than anything,’

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

liked by alexiaputellas, marialeonn16 and 130,809 others y/n if this is what i get after a cup win, what could i get after we win the champions league again 😏 ps. forever with you has a nice ring to it mi amor ❤️tagged: alexiaputellas

[mapis-putellas]

𝑴𝒊𝒔𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅/𝑨.𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒔

This didn’t come out as good as I wanted, so I apologise <3

Alexia didn’t like it when you gave her the silent treatment. She liked it even less when you wouldn’t tell her why. You’d been ignoring her since the second she got back from training, and that had been nearly two hours ago. There had been no greeting at the front door. No hug. Not even a kiss. You had barely even acknowledged her existence, and Alexia had no idea why.

She wracked her mind as she showered, trying to figure out if there was an important date she’d missed or if today had any particular significance. But there was nothing. It was just a regular Tuesday. As far as she knew, today held no importance to you and it certainly held no importance to her. So what was going on?

Her mind ran through every possible scenario as she got out of the shower and changed, slipping into one of your hoodies in an effort to feel a little closer to you. You were fine this morning. You’d woken up together, as usual. You’d been intimate, you’d showered, and then you’d cooked breakfast before she’d left for training and you’d left for work.

That was about as perfect as a morning together could get, so it had to have been something that happened after, right? But how was she supposed to know that for sure when you wouldn’t talk to her? How was she to blame for that when she hadn’t even been there?

The thing was, both you and Alexia thrived on communication. Neither of you liked being upset with the other, and it was often you who believed in talking through everything. Even when things were hard. Even when things were uncomfortable.

It was why you so rarely argued or fought. You always talked it out. So what was different now? Why wouldn’t you talk to her?

She came to a stop in the living room threshold, brushing a wet strand of hair out of her face as before tucking her hands into the pockets of her -your- hoodie. You were on the couch, curled up beneath a blanket watching tv. From the angle the couch was placed, Alexia knew you knew she was there, and she silently pleaded for you to look her way. To acknowledge her. But you don’t. You continue staring at the tv, even as Alexia made her way over and sat down on the couch a couple feet away from you.

She reached out, tentatively brushing her fingers lightly against your ankle, hoping to draw your attention, but you only pulled your leg away. She tried to pretend it didn’t sting. She swallowed heavily as she exhaled through her nose, pulling her hand back, trying to ignore the way her vision became blurry as she stared at the tv. Her hands, resting on her thighs, trembled slightly as she toyed with the cuffs of the hoodie. She chanced a glance at you, but you were still looking at the tv.

Alexia blinked then, and a single tear fell down her cheek, tickling her skin in its wake. It dripped past her jawline and into her hoodie, slightly marking the material. Another followed shortly after. Then another. And another, until she was silently crying. She didn’t wipe them away, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She didn’t want you to finally acknowledge her just because she was crying. Pity was the last thing she needed.

Eventually, she had no choice but to sniffle slightly so her nose didn’t start running, and from the corner of her eye, she see’s your head whip around to face her at an almost comical speed. A part of her wanted to meet your eyes, because finally, finally she was getting the acknowledgement she’d been wanting since she’d gotten home. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to do so, because quite honestly, she was scared of what she’d see.

She heard you sigh lightly as you shoved the blanket off of your legs, tossing it to the side before crawling over to her. Her eyes remained stubbornly glued to the tv as she felt your body press lightly against her own, your head resting against her shoulder. She sniffled again, hesitating for just a second before she leaned her head against your own.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, turning your head slightly to press a kiss to her arm.

Alexia nodded, honestly not quite sure what she was supposed to say.

You sighed again, eyes closing for a brief moment. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Ale. It’s just…a bad day.”

“You ignore me because you have a bad day?” Alexia whispered, and you hated the sound of hurt that lingered in her voice. You swallowed thickly as you wrapped your arm around her waist, internally grateful when she didn’t pull away.

“I’m sorry,” you said again. “Really. I’m sorry. It’s just…misplaced anger, I guess. I’m not mad at you, but you were just…there.”

Alexia was silent for a second. “Why are you angry?” She whispered.

You shrugged. “I don’t know.” You admit. “I’ve just…felt wrong all day.”

“I don’t understand.” You felt her shift beneath you slightly, and you look down to see her fisting the sleeves of her hoodie in her hands.

“I know,” you murmured, the guilt in your stomach amplifying by a thousand. You placed your hand over her own, squeezing softly. “I don’t either. Not really. But I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you.”

“No,” she whispered, voice breaking. “You shouldn’t.” You look up at her just in time to see a couple of tears stream down her cheeks.

“What can I do, Ale?” You reached up to wipe them away, the pad of your thumb now trailing over the damp skin of her cheek. You pretend it didn’t kill you a little inside when she pulled away from your touch.

She looked hesitantly down at you, almost as though she was checking for a reaction. “I do not know.” She admitted.

You nodded, bottom lip trapped softly between your teeth as a somewhat uncomfortable silent settled over you both. You shifted a little against her shoulder, but neither of you pulled away from each other. In fact, you tightened your hold around her waist, terrified she’d push you away even though you probably deserved it.

“I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” You assured after a few quiet moments, and though Alexia didn’t say anything, you do feel her nod, her cheek brushing the top of your head.

The rest of the afternoon passed pretty uneventfully. Alexia was quiet, to no fault of her own, and you tried your best to be extra attentive despite your still souring mood. You let her put on the football without complaint despite the fact you’d rather watch anything else. (You liked watching her play in person, sure, because it was Alexia and you loved watching her in her element no matter what it was she was doing, but watching it at home with people you couldn’t care less about? Less fun, but you kept your mouth shut.)

You made her favourite dinner, something you didn’t do too often considering the time it took and the extensive clean up process afterwards.

By the time bedtime rolled around, things were less…tense so to speak. Alexia was still quiet, but she leaned into your affection and actually laughed at the jokes you were trying to make as opposed to humouring you with a fake smile. You could tell she’d forgiven you for how you’d acted, but you weren’t quite done making it up to her yet.

She deserved more than just basic human decency.

Tomorrow was one of her off days, and whilst she usually preferred spending those at home with you -you didn’t get much free time together, so she liked to make the most of it- you had a plan up your sleeve. Alexia loved going on hikes. If given the chance, that’s probably what she’d spend all of her free time doing, but her schedule just didn’t allow it. She was busy all the time. Constantly on the go with matches, training, media. That wasn’t even mentioning away games that took her away from you for days at a time.

You, on the other hand, could not hate anything more. You weren’t as fit as Alexia, not even close, so you often struggled with things she did with ease. You got sweaty. Out of breath. And you complained, a lot. Not intentionally. And she never got mad at you for it. But you could tell it bothered her, not being able to enjoy something she loved with you.

And so tomorrow, you were going to hike with her. You were going to go wherever the hell she liked and you weren’t going to voice a single world complaint or distaste.

*

The next morning, you woke before your alarm. Alexia was still out next to you, lying on her stomach with the sheets pooled at the waist, exposing a sliver of the bare, tanned skin of her back. Her arms were holding her pillow to her chest, and soft, barely audible snores were escaping her slightly parted lips.

You reached forward, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as you leaned down to press your lips to her forehead. The kiss lingered for a few moments before you pulled away, tugging the blankets up to cover her properly before sliding out of bed.

You got ready as silently as you could, slipping into a pair of leggings and sports bra, pairing it with an oversized shirt that you tied at the waist to fit better. You packed lunch, slipping it into the fridge to keep cool whilst you focused on breakfast. Pancakes and coffee, her favourite on rest days. Table set, you headed back to yours and Alexia’s shared bedroom, pushing the door open and peeking inside.

You smiled when you saw she was still asleep, now lying on her back with her arms above her head. Her head was facing you, and as you got closer, you could see the way her eyelashes fluttered as she dreamed. Her nose would twitch occasionally too, and your smile widened as you climbed onto the bed, throwing a leg over her waist and carefully settling to straddle her hips.

Alexia stirred immediately, her arms moving down to rest on either side of her body. She scrunched her face up, obviously unhappy at the interruption to her sleep, and you laughed softly as you leaned forward to rest your elbows just above her shoulders. You reached forward slightly and trailed the backs of your fingers over her cheek. It was warm to the touch, and you hummed as you pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips.

No reaction.

“Baby…” you mused, leaning forward to kiss her again. This time, she turned her face away from you, and though she tried to hide it, you didn’t miss the way her lips quirked up just slightly at the corners. Ahh. So she was awake.

“I saw that,” you murmured, the smile audible in your voice. “Come on, my love. I made you breakfast. Your favourite.”

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

“There’s coffee too.” You try and tempt, but much to your dismay, she remained still.

“Alexia…come on baby. It’s going to get cold.”

Silence, though her lips do twitch again.

“Okay, so you’re going to be difficult, huh?” You laughed, sitting up and sliding off of her. “I can work with that.” You murmured to yourself, shaking out your arms before sliding your arms beneath her back and hauling her up into a sitting position. You then bend at the waist, using the momentum to throw her over your shoulder, blankets and all.

“Amor!” She squawked, now face to face with your ass as her hands scramble for purchase against your T-shirt.

You bounced her up slightly, your arms looped around her thighs as you begin making your way out of the room. “I tried nicely, baby. You asked for this.”

“I ask for nothing!” She cried.

You didn’t dignify that with a response.

“Put me down, now!” She demanded, adding emphasis to the last word by slapping your butt. Hard. The sound of her palm making contact with you echoed throughout the hallway.

It was your turn to yelp. “Ow! Don’t hit me, you tyrant.”

“Then put me down, amor! Now!”

You only complied because you were in the kitchen. You set her down in front of you, your hands trailing up her body as you did. She glared at you as your hands came to rest on the small of her back beneath her shirt, her face red. She tried and failed to hide the way her lips threaten to quirk up into a smile.

“You are trouble,” she grumbled, and you simply grinned as you pressed a kiss to her nose.

“You love me.” You shrugged, reaching round her to pull out her chair. “Now eat up. I have a surprise for you.”

Alexia raised an eyebrow as she sat down and allowed you to push her closer to the table. “Surprise?” She picked up her coffee and took a tentative sip.

“Sí,” you confirmed, kissing the top of her head as you sat down opposite her. “I won’t give much away, but it’s something you love doing.”

“You?” She grinned, and you snorted in amusement as you reached for your own drink. “No, but maybe later if you’re lucky.” You nudge her with your foot beneath the table.

Alexia hummed a little, hiding her smile by taking another sip of her drink. “Bien.”

You rolled your eyes fondly. “You know the hike Mapi and Ingrid mentioned going on last week?”

Alexia’s eyes light up. Her eyes drifted down to your outfit, almost as though she’d just taken note of what you were wearing. “Sí?”

“You wanna go?” You ask, picking up your fork.

“Contigo?” She leaned forward in her seat slightly.

“Sí. With me.” You confirmed. “We can have a picnic at the top too. I’ve already packed the food.”

Alexia’s eyes flicker over to the refrigerator. “Really?”

“Really,” you nod, and Alexia, seemingly unable to help herself, grinned in excitement as she set down her coffee and goes to stand up.

“Hey, no.” You stop her, reaching out a hand.

Alexia froze midway to her feet, looking at you sheepishly.

“Breakfast first, baby.” You gestured to her untouched pancakes.

“But-“ she pouted, looking longingly to the bedroom.

You shook your head. You were glad she was excited, but you didn’t want her going on a hike on an empty stomach. Knowing your luck, she’d end up passing out or something. “Breakfast.” You said again.

“Fine.” She grumbled, pouting as she dropped back down in her seat and picked up her fork.

An hour and a half later, you were midway through your hike. Alexia was a few steps ahead of you, happily chatting away as she pointed out different things that caught her eye. You hummed in acknowledgment each time she glanced back at you for approval, forcing a smile into your face, but inside, you were slowly dying.

You insisted on carrying the backpack, which, now half an hour in, you were quickly regretting. It was heavy; filled with lunch, drinks, a small first aid kit which Alexia had insisted on bringing and who knew what else. You were sweaty, your legs burned, and you were pretty sure you had a blister. But, like you promised, you hadn’t uttered a single word of complaint. Not a single one.

You’d come close though. Several times, actually. Almost instinctively, your lips had parted, and something along the lines of a complaint had begun to slip out. But you’d managed to stop yourself, and Alexia had been none the wiser for which you were thankful.

But then, along came the rock. You were completely unaware of its presence, sticking out of the ground just a few feet ahead of you. You were too busy trying to keep up with your pro athlete of a girlfriend whilst simultaneously ignoring both the burning in your legs and lungs. One second, you were walking. Or, well, stumbling really. And the next, you were sprawled out on the ground, your hands in front of you in what you could only assume was a subconscious effort at protecting your face.

You laid there, bewildered, for approximately ten seconds before Alexia’s voice filled your ears.

“Amor, are you okay?” You feel her hand come to rest on your back.

You shifted a little, wiggling both your hands and feet. No pain. That was good.

“I’m..I’m okay,” you muttered, bracing yourself and pushing up onto your knees. You heaved a breath before forcing yourself to stand up, Alexia’s hands slipping under your arms to help you do so. Keeping her hold on you, she guided you away from the traitorous rock to a flatter part of the ground before letting you go and reaching for your hands.

“Let me see.” She murmured, and you swallowed thickly as you comply.

You wince a little when the pad of her thumb trailed over one of your palms, and she gave you an apologetic look as she reached up to pull the backpack off of your shoulders. You let her, watching as she crouched down and unzipped it before pulling out the first aid kit that was placed at the very top.

You supposed it was a good job she insisted on bringing it after all.

“Here bebé, hold out your hands.” She instructed as she stood back up, a bottle of water and gauze in her hands.

You thought it was a little overkill for a couple of scrapes in all honesty, but figure it was best to let her do what she thought was necessary. You wince only slightly as she wiped away the dirt and dried blood from your palms, giving them a few moments to air dry before covering them with two large bandaids. And then, without warning, she brought both of your hands to her lips and placed a lingering kiss to each.

Your smile was instant.

“Better?” She looked at you over the top of her sunglasses.

You nod, cheeks flushed a light shade of red. “Mhh, better. Gracias baby.”

She grinned. “De nada, amor.” She put the first aid kit back into the backpack before hosting it over her own shoulders. You don’t try and fight her, instead taking the hand she offered and allowing her to tug you forward.

A comfortable silence settled over you both as she absentmindedly swung your hands back and forth, and you find yourself letting out a quiet sigh of content as you trail your thumb over her knuckles. She squeezed your hand in response, and you instantly returned the gesture as you looked up at her.

She met your gaze, and her lips immediately quirk up in so a smile so genuine it made you melt a little. It also reignited the guilt over yesterday you thought had faded, and you let out another sigh as you looked down at your feet.

“You do not have to feel guilty, amor.” She broke the silence, and you look up at her immediately, eyes wide in shock.

How had she…

“I know you.” Is all she said.

You purse your lips contemplatively for a moment before speaking. “I hurt your feelings, Ale. Of course I’m going to feel guilty.”

She hummed. “Sí.” She agreed, and you bite your bottom lip as you look down at your feet. “But you apologise. You make it up to me, no?” She gave your hand a squeeze, silently coaxing you to look back at her, and you do. The look in her eyes was one full of love, understanding, and it eased the guilt just slightly.

“I’m trying.” You nod.

Alexia squeezed your hand again. “You were forgiven…Inmediatamente, amor. Te amo. It was easy.”

You gently eased her to a stop before coming to step in front of her, resting your hands on her hips. She stepped close, her own hands rising to cup your cheeks as you raised up onto your tiptoes and pressed your lips against her own. She let out a quiet exhale through her nose as she reciprocated, eyes fluttering closed as she pressed her chest flush against your own. You slid your hands round to rest at the small of her back, sliding up and down just slightly as her nose grazed your cheek.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Ale. Truly.” You murmured as you pulled away, and Alexia hummed as she brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“You were you. Simple.”

“I love you.”

“Te amo, amor.”

**

Tags:

@ceesimz @marysfics @girlgenius1111 @codiemarin @simp4panos @silentwolfsstuff @goldenempyrean @xxnaiaxx @liloandstitchstan @ktgoodmorning @chelseacult @totaly-obsessed

[samiwok]

/2025.SAMIWOK/

{ NSFW } — A Valentine’s day gift,

pairing : Rafayel x fem!reader

summary : it’s Valentine’s Day and Rafayel invites you to spend it with him at his place. the night goes pretty well and it ends up just the way you expected.

content : 6k words. chocolate aphrodisiacs ?? ; use of handcuffs ; oral sex : reader receiving ; soft sex ; Rafayel teases a lot

note : the explicit smut part isn’t that long it’s mostly the tensed atmosphere before that is well written but i’m planning on improving about that. anyway. that’s the first lads fic but there’ll be more heh

“Valentine’s Day is a stupid and commercialized holiday.” Those were your own words for many years.

You’re a grown adult and you still see Valentine's day as a scam; something made up completely by a capitalist society forcing people to spend money. Because truly.. who wouldn’t want to see their loved ones smile ? Of course you still think that it is the reality behind that holiday.

Yet it’s different this year.

Because this year you have him. Him, who texts you daily to check on you. Him, who stares at you like you’re the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen. Him, who makes you feel loved simply by smiling back at you.

So yeah.. Valentine’s Day is stupid. Stupid and made up to have stupid people spending their stupid money on stupid things to give to their lovers. Stupid holiday. Yet you crave to spend it with him. You crave his gifts, his touch.. well, his attention.

You’re still in the street, walking home from today’s assigned missions. Your eyes wander around the city. Couples.. Families.. And in the middle of that, single souls, wandering around the streets, looking lonely just like you.

Lonely… Yeah, perhaps you should try and call…

Oh ?

You take your phone out of your pocket and see the familiar face of the one you think about a little too much these days. “Incoming call : Annoying fishie…<3”

You smile at the only presence of his name on your screen, because the truth is he’s got you wrapped around his fingers. So much so that you’re smiling at your phone in the middle of the street, excited to hear his voice before you even pick up the call. You cough slightly before you do. After all, you wouldn’t want to give him the confidence he needs to tease you.

“Hello ?” You reply, quite calmly and your voice almost sounds a little cold.

“Hmph. Finally ! I thought you’d never pick up the call.” And there he goes, complaining not even five seconds into the call. You sigh longly. He’s always so dramatic.. and for what ? That man is 24 after all and still pouting like a little boy whose mother refuses a toy. Ridiculous. But even that part of him makes him lovable to you.

“Don’t even start-“ You reply and he interrupts with a soft laugh that warms your heart. You instinctively smile because you can picture his lips curling up as he laughs and his eyes matching the playful tone of his voice as he speaks.

“Is my Miss bodyguard free tonight, by any chance ?” He asks so politely. Usually, he would tell you to join him wherever he wants to see you. Who would’ve imagined him being so sweet as he suggests a plan to you.

You take a look at your watch quickly and it displays 5:21 pm. It is not late. Your plans for tonight were mostly about heading home, showering, eating dinner and sleeping. You worked today and you have to go back to work tomorrow. Yeah… Stupid holiday which doesn't even allow a resting day.

“My weeks are only filled with meetings with colleagues and wanderers.” You reply right away, complaining a bit about how tired you feel. The question was not about it, yet Rafayel still replies to you with worry and encouraging words.

On the other end of the line, he’s looking around the garden. It is empty; just the way he feels when you’re not by his side. He respects your job, knows it’s hard and doesn’t want to be a bother yet he’d be ready to beg for you to come see him everyday.

“Need a massage, cutie ?” He asks and you can almost picture that annoying smirk on his lips from here.

Of course he was going to flirt with you. There is no way he calls you and doesn’t try his tricks on you. Because he loves the way you always let out a little blank before you reply, as if thinking hard about a perfect answer.

“��How much will it cost ?” You hear a slight humming sound as you reply. It’s not the first time you flirt back, but it always feels so surprising for him.

He chuckles and his breath on the speaker almost tickles your ear with its sweetness. “We’ll figure something out.” He replies and the sound of his voice drives you crazy. His low voice is so unusual it strikes a special feeling inside of you.

You want him. Oh God you do.

There is a brief silence, quickly interrupted by Rafayel. “7pm at my place ?” he asks. You ponder for a while and agree. If this is going to be the first Valentine’s day you spend with him, you might as well make it unforgettable for both of you, right ?

There’s a few more brief exchanges and you hang up the phone the minute you step through the door to your apartment. You head towards the living-room and lay on the sofa.

Tired… You think as you close your eyes for a few seconds. You were gonna prepare of course, but a small nap never killed anyone.

You open your eyes and stare at the ceiling that is only lightened up by the colored lights of the bar that’s on the other side of the road, right in front of the building you live in. It goes from a flashy purple to various shades of pink before it turns to a light blue. It goes in a loop and it reminds you of Rafayel’s color palette.

You smile at the thought of him. Again. Oh how desperate you look like when your brain replays hundreds of memories of his pretty eyes devouring you alive.

You grab your phone that’s vibrating right next to your ear in a quite annoying way and hold it up pretty close to your face as you’re still laying down.

You open Rafayel’s message and your cheeks get slightly red. “do you like surprises, miss bodyguard ?” he asks and his message is joined with a picture of half of his naked chest and his hand holding out a pair of handcuffs.

You never tried this before yet the photo instantly turns you on. Perhaps it’s because you know it’s him holding them out that you want them on your wrists so bad.

You gulp before responding almost immediately. “Want me to tie you down to the bed ?” You tease and surprisingly he instantly responds “…who knows. im eager to see you try” punctuated with playful emotes.

Of course he was gonna text this. That man just has a way of driving you crazy that is incredibly strong and even though you’re used to it by now, he somehow still manages to get you giggling every single time.

You take a quick shower, not wanting to be late for your date with your very first Valentine. And because your hair today is especially beautiful, you decide not to wash it to be the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. When you get out of the shower and head over to your bedroom, the clock displays 6:02. You’re right on time to make yourself pretty with a bit of makeup and the stunning clothes you have in mind.

That man deserves it, with the way he makes you feel : loved and safe; Respected and interesting. You take a good look at yourself in the mirror and you feel so beautiful you would almost want to kiss yourself.

Perfect. You grab your phone and quickly type a message before going out of the building.

“Will be there in 20.”

As you head to his place, the night is slowly falling. You look around and realize the streets are empty. The ocean is pretty agitated tonight and the warmth in the air surrounding you is a sign of a storm incoming.

You’re not really fond of huge storms, at least not at Rafayel’s place since he lives so close to the ocean. Your eyes are fixed on the horizon and before you even realize it, you’re right in front of his place. It’s a pretty immense ground, definitely way too big for a single person.

Rafayel likes his loneliness but what he craves even more is your presence by his side. Therefore, he walks towards the door the second he realizes you’re here.

You push open the front gate. The lights are on all along the way towards his house. And as you walk up the stairs, he opens the door, slowly leaning against it. He wears his usual white shirt and fancy black pants tonight. He looks good, stunning even, as always; yet you have to admit you feel a bit… disappointed, maybe ? After all, you put on a fancy dress, and high heels for the night. It was not the most comfortable but you felt it was needed to appear perfect for him. Meanwhile, he’s standing there, looking perfect with little to no effort.

“My miss bodyguard made herself extremely pretty.” He points out the obvious. You do look perfect. Your hair is soft and placed perfectly well. You wear a long red velvet dress he has never seen before and it matches the lipstick you chose earlier. Your eyes stare at him in a way that’s making him forget about everything that isn’t you.

Rafayel stares at you in awe and he cannot take his eyes off. You’re beautiful. Always. And when you look like that, you are like a muse to him, his source of inspiration. He wishes his brain could photograph you under the moonlight so he could always wake up with that image of you as you walk up towards him for the whole night.

The whole night.

A whole night to yourselves.

It almost sounds like a dream, yet, when his hand grabs yours and his thumb rubs the palm of your hand, you realize it’s real. All of it. From his soft gaze to his gentle touch to the intoxicating scent of his perfume that’s making you crazy about him. It is definitely real. He is here with you.

It’s the lovers holiday and he decided to spend it with you.

“Are you cold, cutie ?” He asks and he’s ready to go running, and get one of his numerous cardigans to put on your shoulders to protect you from the soft breeze because nothing could ever be allowed to hurt his beloved.

You shake your head. “No. It’s quite warm, actually.” You add, and just when you try avoiding his gaze he flashes you a smile. “Come with me, then.” You walk into this big house of his and even though you’ve come here multiple times before you never get used to how luxurious it seems.

The hall of the house is decorated with glorious statues and large, beautiful paintings made by Rafayel himself. You stare around as if discovering a whole new world and quickly reach the garden. As you set your feet on the wooden patio you realize he’s been preparing a big surprise for you.

There are flowers. Lots of them. Bouquets, all as beautiful as the others. There’s food all over the table, and it’s literally everything you adore. The music playing in the background is from the playlist you once made for him. You gulp, and turn to him, a bit emotional about all of this.

“My God, Rafayel. You didn’t have to do all that.” You don’t even find the right words at this point and maybe you sound a bit ungrateful right now but he knows you well enough to know this actually pleases you, so much that you struggle expressing your genuine feelings.

“Indeed. I didn’t have to.” He repeats, a bit sassy as he approaches you, pulling on your hand until he feels your body pressed against his and he can whisper against your ear. “My Miss Bodyguard works hard daily to protect me, I must repay her the right way.”

You run a hand through his hair and stare at him for a few seconds, eyes intensely screaming how hard you want him and he gets it immediately. His lips crash into yours, capturing your mouth for a passionate kiss and it almost feels like you have not met for years with how hard you’re both clinging to each other.

You pull his hair gently and he almost moans into the kiss. The kiss feels like it’s never-ending and it takes all of his energy to pull away from you.

He takes a step back, catching his breath and without any surprise : he jokes again.

“Let’s not eat dessert yet, mhm ?” He says as he points to the table and all of the delicious food he’s prepared before you come.

Your thumb brushes against your lips as you follow him to a new topic after that steamy kiss you just shared. “Did Thomas help you do this ?” You ask, a bit curious as to how he managed to do this in only a few hours.

Rafayel pouts slightly, his arms crossed as he turns his back on you, “Hmph. I can do things on my own, you know.”

You smile and walk towards him. His back is still turned on you. You wrap an arm around his neck, kissing his cheek softly, your hand caressing his jawline until it reaches his chin, locking it between your fingers and forcing him to look at you.

“Rafayel ?” You say. You raise an eyebrow, a bit suspicious. Your voice is low, almost menacing and his eyes look away from yours, capitulating. “Fiiiine.” he says, still pouting slightly “He helped me a bit.”

“You little liar !” You accuse him but his angel eyes make you forget about it pretty quickly. They’re screaming his innocence despite him the fact he just admitted trying to hide Thoma’s help in his surprise.. “I technically did not lie.” And you shake your head, brushing it off.

As you take a step back, pulling away from him, you cross your arms against your chest in an elegant way. Your eyes are almost challenging him to do something, and he clears his throat quietly.

Rafayel smiles and pulls your hand once again, making you follow him towards the sofa near the table. He remains standing for a few seconds, his eyes hypnotized by the attractive sight of your low-cut neckline given by the angle.

It’s only when you move your head and call out his name once again tonight that he snaps out of his thoughts. “Yeah, yeah, yeah” he quickly says, his head shaking as if it helped chase the dirty thoughts away.

The music changes to the next track, and it’s a much calmer one. The instruments used in that one have the power to change your mood right away and when your eyes meet his, you know your minds are connected. You think alike a lot of times, and now is no exception.

He wants you.

His eyes are filled with lust and he’s practically taking off your clothes with them. His Adam’s apple moves as he tries gulping his desires away discreetly; and fails. His head rests against one of his hands, his index finger tapping regularly against his temples as if he was waiting for something. A sign maybe ? Your consent to him touching you.

You want him.

You blink several times as if it would be enough to hide the perversion of the numerous secret thoughts reflecting in your eyes. Your legs are crossed and subconsciously rubbing against one another, desperately seeking some sort of pleasure. And your breathing… It betrays your needs.

“A glass of wine ?” Rafayel is the first to break the silence between you two. And thank God he does, otherwise you wouldn’t have lasted much longer before jumping on his lap and ripping both your clothes off.

You nod. You don’t drink so much wine, and aren’t into it either but you’ll take anything he’ll give you. Also the kiss you shared just before and the tense atmosphere that seem to surround the two of you does not give you a good reason to turn down his offer. You’re thirsty and it’s not wine nor water that is going to slow it down.

He hands out your glass to you and then his. “Cheers.” He says with a pretty smile matching the softness in his eyes as you stare into them before clinking softly your glass against his.

“Cheers.” You respond and your eyes never once leave his face as you take a first sip of the drink. It’s good. Really good. It’s probably the best wine you’ve ever tasted. At least, the only wine that is not making your face contort in disgust as if being inflicted the worst sufferings in the world.

You put the glass down and smirk at him.

“Shall we play a questions game ?”

You feel a little bolder than usual, and judging by the gaze in his eyes at your proposition, he’s into it. His lips mirror yours, curling up in a playful smirk. “Go ahead and ask a question then.”

You squint as if thinking hard about your question when in reality : you suggested it only because you knew exactly what to ask and where it would lead.

“Then… Let’s start easy. What do you think of my dress ?” You ask innocently caressing the velvet fabric. It feels so soft against your fingertips and you love it. You stare at him as you wait for the verdict.

Rafayel looks at the dress, fully, and his insistent gaze could almost feel uncomfortable if you didn’t want him right here and now.

“It perfectly accentuates that beautiful body of yours, miss Bodyguard,” He replies confidently. “My turn now. What do you hide under that perfectly cut dress ?”

He asks so quickly you can’t even grasp the compliment he just gave you. You gulp and decide to flirt again. “Why don’t you take a guess ?”

“That is not the rule of the game.” He says so low you almost can’t hear him.

“Who cares about rules ?” You say. You could tell him what you wear of course. But you want him to discover it himself for you’ve been dying to see the look on his face when you’d reveal your lingerie to him.

Rafayel approaches dangerously on the sofa. “Careful, cutie. I care about rules, and I’ll make you apply them if I have to.” His eyes are slightly menacing when he accentuates the first person pronoun. His words are an obvious threat but also a challenge. Another. Because the truth is, Rafayel knows you. He knows you, like the back of his hand and he knows the dirtiest part of you is ready to receive a punishment.

That wouldn’t even feel like one, considering some of your fantasies.

You smile and stare as he keeps approaching you slowly, almost like a predator that is about to catch his prey, a prey he’s been going after since they first met.

“I said : take a guess.” You repeat. Your voice is low and your heart feels like it’s about to explode from all the tension between you two. Rafayel’s lips are slightly parted and he sighs. “Can I have a hint ?” He asks, giving up resisting your little game.

“Too easy… Try guessing without a hint and you’ll be rewarded if you’re right.” You say. The bold words come out of your mouth so quickly you can’t even think before you speak. That makes him laugh a bit and he looks quite menacing when he does.

He keeps approaching and at some point you end up laying on your back with him crawling over your body, his hands resting on both sides of your head on the sofa, as if he’s caging you with it.

His eyes narrow as he looks at your lips and then back to your eyes. You don’t even know how divine you look right now. His mind is getting dysfunctional from all the thoughts he’s having, from how bad he wants you. At this point he’s not even trying to hide it anymore.

“Bold of you to assume I won’t claim that reward anyway.” You’re about to protest, when his lips find yours once more tonight. If the kiss from earlier was filled with the desire you both feel for each other; it is no different now, except it’s more pressed, more needy. You bite his lips as a slight punishment for his lack of obedience.

He pulls back and touches his lips you’ve just bitten. “You…” He whines, before he gets up and lifts you up the sofa.

He takes a few steps towards the house and leaves the untouched food on the table along with both your wine glasses. His room is the door that’s right on the left and as he opens it you see how he carefully decorated his room.

There’s a box of chocolate on the nightstand and a few other things. Rafayel carefully put you on his bed. He takes a step back and stares at you from head to toe.

The music that was playing outside is now playing on the small speakers he put in his room. As the next song plays, a smile paints on his lips. He slowly leans over you, his hands delicately taking off your heels. He looks down at you as you’re laying on your back and he’s still standing by the bed.

He looks at his left and opens the chocolate box. “Do you know that chocolates have aphrodisiac virtues ?” You heard about this before, but despite eating chocolate before, you’ve never felt anything special.

You gulp and he’s handing you a chocolate. “They say when the chocolate melts into your mouth, it creates a pure euphoric sensation in your whole body that’s making you crave something else.” He smirks and approaches the chocolate to your mouth. His long and thin fingers rub against your lips as you part them slightly to bite into what he’s giving you.

Your eyes never once leave his, and the expression on your face speaks thousands of unsaid words. He gives you a chaste kiss and eats the other part of the chocolate.

“What do you think, Miss Bodyguard ? Does eating that chocolate strike a special spot inside of you ?” He asks but the answer he wants isn’t about this. What he truly wants to know is whether you want him or not. And he knows you do, because, well, it’s written all over your face. But he wants you to say it.

He kneels on the edge of the bed, his hand pulling up your left leg, bringing it higher until you’re able to rub your feet against his lower back. His long and thin fingers feel so soft against your skin. “Say the words.” Rafayel commands, but the softness in his voice makes it sound like a plea.

He’s containing himself, but he knows he won’t be able to hold himself much longer if you keep staring at him like that while pulling his body closer to yours on his bed, with the sensual music playing in the background.

He grabs the zipper on the side of your dress, pulling it down and you bite your lip when his mouth finds its way down into your neck, dropping gentle kisses and eagerly sucking on your skin. “You drive me crazy.” He whispers between two kisses. His warm breathing on your neck mixed to his growing erection rubbing against your own most intimate parts make you let out a moan.

“I want you. Rafayel, please...” There you are, begging him to go further. Judging by the instant smirk on his lips as he pulls away from you to take off his shirt, he’s been craving to hear this.

Seeing him shirtless got you biting your lower lip, again. His body is perfect. Because it’s him. His chest punctuated here and there with a few moles make him extremely attractive. The way his abs are drawn make you want to admire it. The dim light only allows you to see his curves in the dark yet you still think of him as a work of art.

But you don’t even have time to think about what you’re staring at. Rafayel lays on top of you, whispering things against your ear that probably got you blushing. “Should I be gentle ? Or would you prefer me being rough ?” He asks and it’s most likely the most intimate question you’ve ever been expected to answer.

“Why don’t you take out my dress first ?” You say and you’re surprised yourself. Because you have no energy left in your body to resist him, you just crave to feel him inside of you yet you still try gaining time over that.

He chuckles. Part of him is quite irritated not to have an answer yet. His frustration leads him to be quite in a hurry as his hands start pulling down on your dress. Quickly, your bra is revealed and he’s almost salivating at the sight.

“Beautiful.” He whispers against your skin as he pulls you off the bed. You’re standing now and as if he was your loyal subject, he kneels before you. His eyes are practically devouring you right here, dropping kisses along your chest while pulling down your dress to reveal your full body.

“Beautiful.” He repeats as his mouth goes down on your body. Your skin is burning from the initial heat in the room mixed to the heated exchange with him just a few seconds ago.

You gulp and hold your smirk when the dress finally reaches the floor. With grace, you hold onto his shoulders and get rid of it, throwing the dress away in his room.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” You mutter and his eyes almost sparkle at the sight of your stockings. “You-“ He starts and he stops himself. He’s got too many things to say, but he prefers to show you instead.

Too many words could bore you. But his hands ? Oh no there’s no way his expert hands bore you. He brings your left leg to his shoulder, and with his eyes closed he starts kissing your inner thighs. He knows it can get quite a sensitive spot when you’re so desperate to be loved, physically.

His mouth moves fast towards your pussy and it catches you off guard, your mouth letting out a few moans as you almost beg him to stop. You surely don’t want to cum just yet, but he has the entire night to make you. And it’s starting now. All of his senses are focused on hearing your sweet moans and teasing your wet sex. He loves to hear you and the smirk on his lips as you get louder only grow larger.

“Did you- mh like the lingerie I’ve chosen ?” You still manage to ask. You’re not one to beg for compliments, but you know the garter belts made him lose his mind for a second. And that’s the exact reason he’s still kneeling, despite the floor of his room not being comfortable, and for what ? Only to pleasure you.

“It’s perfect. You’re so divine it makes me crazy…” He whispers, opening his eyes to check the reaction on your face, and seeing the evident blush on your cheeks, he’s fully satisfied.

“Why don’t I show you just how much I love them ?” He asks, whispering, his fingers grasping the black lace thong that’s the only thing separating his eager mouth to the sweet spot that could make you a moaning mess. You gasp when he pulls it down, without ever taking his eyes off yours.

“Stay still, cutie.” He drops a kiss first, and quickly sticks his tongue to your clit.

“Rafayel- ah…” Your hands grip his hair instinctively.

As his tongue works hardly against your clit, almost desperate to make you cum quickly, you pull his hair harder. He’s good. He’s so good, you actually wonder how many times before he did this, and to who.

“Focus. Look at me, pleasuring you.” The way he accentuates his last word almost sounds like he can hear your train of thought.

Rafayel hums against your clit, and it sends a special feeling in your entire being. His tongue is lapping faster now and his eyes are dangerously staring at each of your reactions, memorizing them.

It is the most beautiful sight ever. You’re having a great time, he reads it on your face, and he’s just so proud he’s the one making you feel that way.

“I’m gonna.. I’m gonna cum if you keep going.” You warn. And he stops, at least for a second. “Then cum.” He says and it’s almost cruel how he commands you around. He wraps his hands around your thighs, locking you here with him sucking on your clit as if it was the source of the euphoria in his entire body.

And it might be at this point. You feel yourself getting close and he feels it too. With a smirk on his lips, he eats you out harder. Faster. Anything to hear his name fall out from your mouth. His eyes are practically screaming “Go on”.

Suddenly you feel yourself losing your balance, because the wave of pleasure submerging your body is simply too good. It’s been a long time and your legs are shaking so hard. But before you have the time to worry about falling, Rafayel lifts you off the floor and throws you on the bed.

“Have you had enough, cutie ?” He asks and he’s so obviously provoking you with that question. He smirks proudly as he sees you, still panting and the sheets becoming wet between your thighs. It’s his work of art.

You chuckle and shake your head. “Didn't you promise me a surprise ?” You say, referring to the earlier texts. He laughs too. He knows what you mean, yet he didn’t know you’d be into it as well, to the point of asking for it.

He opens the drawer and takes out the pair of handcuffs. “Shall I ?” He asks softly as you approach your wrists, allowing him to put them on for you. He bites his lip, carefully staring as he handcuffs you. His moves are slow, he obviously never did it before. And it somehow warms your heart to know you’re trying things together already.

“There. Does it hurt ?” He asks gently, his eyes scanning your face in a search for responses. “No. Now… I believe we’re not done yet.” You say, extending your leg so that your feet could rub against the obvious bulge in his pants.

As soon as you ask for it, he delivers. He takes off the rest of his clothes and his hard cock bouncing back up makes you bite your lip. It’s long but not too thick, just like you expected it to be.

He comes back on the bed and none of you waste time. You both know you’ve been wanting this ever since the beginning of this date. No. Ever since you first kissed.

You spread your legs, your wrists still tied to the bed.

He seizes your waist, pulling your body closer, and of course he doesn’t give you what you crave immediately. Instead, he rubs the tip of it against your clit and smirks down at your desperate expression.

“Put it in.” You command and it’s quite obvious from the hurried tone in your voice that you’re getting frustrated. He loves it when you moan, but he loves it even more when you beg.

His arrogant eyes stare down, and with his hands he takes off your bra, revealing your beautiful breast. He pinches one of your nipples, while his mouth eagerly sucks on the other. “You better ask nicely if you want it.” He whispers against your skin.

His chuckle makes you want to push him down the bed and ride him yourself. But you’re unable to move since he tied you up just before. Now you’re almost pissed off by his attitude, because of course he was gonna push his luck and your limits with it.

“Rafayel.” You say. “I only listen to good girls.” He replies.

He’s making you crazy, in all the ways he can. You want to scream because it feels so frustrating right now. But his cruelty somehow makes him so attractive to you.

“Rafayel please… I need you.” You say, eyebrows pinched together and angel eyes begging for him to stop teasing.

That gaze of yours is all he needs to change his mind and the soft sound of your voice as you beg for him to take you is more than enough.

He doesn’t warn, doesn’t say anything and pushes himself into your wet cunt, and it’s squeezing him so good. He whines with each of his thrusts, desperate. “Mhh.. you’re so good” He moans into your ear.

His hands are holding you in place, and your body’s not flinching, not even when his thrusts become harder and more desperate.

“Rafayel… Kiss me.” You say, almost pleading him to agree and as he obliges, his lips finding their way toward yours, you’re reduced to a moaning mess.

His thrusts switch from delicate and filled with some sort of desire : one to make you feel loved to a more brutal and rough way that doesn't show any mercy to your overstimulated body.

He loves that you take him without complaining. You let him do as he pleases, mostly because you like it that way too, but also because seeing him so free with you feels good. He feels good enough with you to be able to show both sides of himself.

“You’re so good…” Rafayel moans into your ear and he said it before but you never get tired of hearing it. His voice is softer than usual, more serious yet more relaxed at the same time.

His hands caress your thighs, throwing your legs behind his back and you wrap them together, pressing his body together with yours. You crave his voice, his scent and his touch. You want him to fill you up completely because he’s yours and you are his.

“Mine…” He moans against your neck as he sucks on it gently, but still hard enough to leave a mark of his affection.

He thrusts harder, deeper. He’s in a hurry to cum. He wants to make you feel good, wants to moan your name and make you feel like you’re the only woman in the world because, truly, you are the only one that matters to him.

The way he clings to you, and the way his voice calls out your name several times as he keeps burying himself deep inside of you, it just feels right. It feels like the only thing that was ever certain.

You are meant for him.

That’s the only thing that’s on both your minds as you reach orgasm together. And the room is filled with both your moans of each other’s name. Now it’s you and him, no one else matters.

As he cums, he nuzzles his head into your neck, one of his hands caressing your soft hair as you’re both panting and desperately trying to catch your breath. He’s still inside of you and he doesn’t want to pull away.

He feels good in your embrace. It’s warm. It’s filled with your love and that’s the only thing he needs. Now and forever you’re the only one.

Rafayel stares at you for a few seconds and he drops a loving, gentle kiss on your lips. “You’re the only one I want.” He says softly and it brings an instant smile on your lips as you kiss him back.

“I love you.” He thinks but doesn’t say it, after all, there’s still plenty of time to make you feel his love.

A whole night. An entire life. Together always. That’s pretty much the only thing he’s sure of. Yeah. Together, always.

[moonandst4rs]

“She’s always a woman to me”

── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ──── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Masterlist

AARON HOTCHNER X F!READER

WC: 673

Summary: Aaron sees you for you. He sees the woman behind the job

Warnings / Content: Inspired by She's always a woman - Billy Joel. no use of y/n, no dialogue

A/N: Feel free to ask questions or simply chat. Any feedback and requests are welcome !! Reblogs and comments are very much appreciated <3

Being a woman is hard. Being a woman in power, working as a Section Chief in the FBI only magnifies the weight you carry. It isn’t just the job, it’s about navigating Bureaucratic nonsense. You have to balance authority with expectations, from yourself and others. Five teams. Five different teams of personalities, skills and egos yjay you have to manage day in and day out. Some are polite and show you respect—others, not so much. Aaron Hotchner’s team, to their credit, are professional. Mostly.

You’ve grown tough over the years. You had to. The world doesn’t let women in your position be soft without paying the price. If you’d let yourself be trampled, ignored, or undermined even once, you wouldn’t be here now, standing tall as Section Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. The toughness, it isn’t armour, it’s more like something you’ve learned to carry with grace. You got here by knowing exactly when to hold your ground and when to bend, ever so slightly, so the world doesn’t break you. From a wide-eyed field agent to Section Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, you’ve learned that balance. And you’ve learned how to carry the weight of other people’s lives along the way.

You do your job well. You’re proud of that. You make decisions not just for today, but for the future, for the safety of your agents, your teams. You’re steady, calm under pressure, always managing to keep the pieces from falling apart. You have to. But not everyone sees it that way. For some, you’ll always be the one in the way, the one enforcing rules they don’t want to follow. They call you harsh, cold, rigid. They talk about how you won’t let them work however they want. They forget there’s a reason the rules are there, a reason you stand so firm.

The names they call you, the insults, the accusations, they don’t hurt like they used to. There was a time when you’d lie awake at night, wondering if they were right. Now, you barely blink when they throw words your way. If anything, you’ve become somewhat detached, wishing, in a darkly amused way, that they would at least get creative. Give you something new to roll your eyes at. You’ve heard it all before. The same tired jabs, the same predictable bitterness. They don’t know how strong you really are, and they never will. Not the way Aaron does.

Aaron. He’s always there, quietly watching. He knows you can take it, he knows you’ve taken far worse, and that you’ll keep taking it because you refuse to let them see you falter. But even so, he insisted stepping in. Not always, and not in ways that make a scene, but it was enough. Enough to remind you that you don’t have to fight every battle alone. He challenges the ones who disrespect you when you’re not looking, stands by you when the weight of the world starts to feel a little too heavy. And even though you never asked for his protection, you’ve come to realize it’s something more. Something softer, something that breaks through the noise and makes you feel…seen.

You never wanted anyone to fight for you. You don’t need it. You’ve spent your life proving that you’re more than capable of fighting for yourself. But Aaron doesn’t fight to save you; he fights to remind you that you’re worth protecting. And in those moments, when his quiet strength meets yours, you realize just how much that means to you. More than you’d ever let on.

Despite everything, the long nights, the endless pushback, the harsh words, you keep going. Not because you’re unbreakable, but because you know what’s at stake. You fight for your teams because they deserve it. You stand firm because that’s who you are, and because you believe in the work you do, even when others don’t see it. And maybe, just maybe, because you know that there’s someone, someone like Aaron, who sees the woman behind the title.

[1-800-adore-me]

| "Did I do good, honey?"

🍎 nsfw warning (18+) + tags: baby fever Caleb, dirty talk, inappropriate usage of evol abilities, edging (Caleb to you), fingering, cunninglingus, praise kink, pet names (pipsqueak, princess, baby girl, sweetheart, honey…), squirting, biting, grinding  ( porn without plot | words: around 3.9k ) (AN: caleb would totally be into the fantasy of breeding you and having loving baby making sex. unfortunately no breeding for this fic but hopefully for the next one <3 caleb is just having his boydinner)

After Caleb finally confirmed his availability to hang out with you for the day, you decided that you wanted to try out a cafe with him. You told him that Tara mentioned it having the “most tastiest” lattes that Linkon had to offer and the pastries were to die for. Considering how excited you looked when you were telling him this, how could he ever say no to those giant puppy eyes of yours? 

When you both arrived at the cafe, it was bustling with business. There was a line of people waiting outside of the cafe and there was a sense of apprehension coming from you. Are we going to wait forever? Should we just head back? I don’t want Caleb to feel like he’s wasting time waiting with me here…

As if he could sense your apprehension, Caleb patted your head with that soft smile that you were oh so familiar with. “It seems busy but hey, I wouldn’t mind waiting in line so long as this pipsqueak here can.” He’d chuckle, a delicate sound that was sent straight to your heart. “Don’t tell me that you’re so hungry that you can’t wait in line, hm?”

You frowned and playfully hit his arm. “As if! Come on, let’s hurry up before more people crowd up and take our spots then!” 

Even though you were smaller than him, the amount of strength that you had when you grabbed his hand and dragged him to the line was akin to a thousand men. He let out an amused chuckle as he allowed you to do so, taking in any opportunity to feel your skin on his. The way your fingers locked perfectly with his made his heart flutter as it made him think back to the olden days where you were so clingy and needy for him to the point where you begged him to take you everywhere he went. 

After waiting in line for what felt like hours, the both of you finally arrived inside the cafe. It had an inviting and warm atmosphere that quickly dissolved any sense of frustration building up inside of you. Once it was finally Caleb’s and your turn to order, you both decided on 2 slices of apple pie and 2 lattes. After the both of you had gotten your orders, you decided to head out. The inside of the cafe, although it looked cozy and sweet to relax in, was beginning to feel cramped with the amount of people endlessly pouring in. The original plan included the both of you spending the afternoon there but considering that it was only going to get busier, perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea to linger long. After a quick discussion, it was a better idea to just head back home for the day and watch movies as you enjoy your treats. Although it sounded mundane, today felt like a good day to be lazy. 

Suddenly, a young girl grabbed the hem of your skirt. You looked down at her with a confused expression on your face, yet you held a warm smile towards her. Caleb stopped in his tracks, offering the small girl the same expression as well. 

“Hello there, little one! Did you need something from me?” You say, now turning around to fully face her as you crouched down to her height. Her warm brown eyes observed your face for a moment, her fingers twiddling with each other. She seemed quite shy. 

She hesitated before she spoke. “Miss… What do you have there? I saw that you ordered something that looked yummy but I don’t know what it is. Can you tell me?” Her eyes averted from yours for a moment before focusing them on you again as she pointed at the bag held in Caleb’s hand. 

You let out a soft chuckle, as if her question was something peculiar. All of this nervousness to ask you what kind of goodies you bought? You patted her head as if to reassure her that she could relax around you. By magic, you could feel her shoulders relaxing. 

“Well, why don’t I show you instead?” You say as you rummaged through the paper bag that Caleb was holding in his hand and showed her a box of 1 apple slice inside. “It’s an apple pie! This kind mister and I used to eat a lot of these when we were little like you and we heard that this cafe makes really good pies!” You handed it to her as she hesitantly accepted it - although confusion was written on her face. “Why don’t you have my slice then? We bought 2 so I can always share the other slice with him!”

The young girl’s eyes suddenly widened as her expression brightened up. She looked down at the box you just gave her and let out an adorable chuckle. “Are you sure, miss? I don’t want to take away your food!”

You furiously shook your head as you quickly got up. “Don’t fret about it! Like I said, I can just share with this mister right here!” You tapped Caleb’s chest, earning yourself a soft laughter from him. “You wouldn’t mind at all, right?” He looks at her and smiles, nodding. 

“You heard her! Don’t worry about us, little missy!” He’d pat her head as well before looking at you. “Should we head on then? I don’t want our pie to get cold if we take too long to go back home.” Although there was his usual gentleness in his tone, there was something off - as if he was in a rush. You raised an eyebrow at him but thought nothing of it. You were also anticipating spending the day with him after all. Perhaps he felt the same way. 

Both of you waved at the younger girl as you walked away. She shouted an adorable ‘Thank you!’ before she scurried away to find her parents. Caleb’s eyes lingered on the both of you for a moment before returning his attention on you. But something was different about his expression. He looked like he was distracted by something. You snapped your fingers in front of him in order to catch his attention. 

“Are you okay, Caleb? Distracted by something?” You said, giving him a teasing smile. “Don’t tell me that you’re upset that you have to share with me. If you really want to, we can head back to the cafe and wait another 200 years so you don’t get grumpy!” 

He laughed - his familiar, comforting gaze now on you. “Oh, pipsqueak. If we waited any longer in there, I might’ve had to hold you back from stealing the pastries and running off! Trust me, I don’t mind sharing with you at all. After all, didn’t I use to share all of my pie slices with you when we were younger? Gran would scold me all the time, saying that I shouldn’t give you everything I had!”

The two of you exchanged comforting nostalgic memories as you continued your way back home. Yet, you would notice that there was still a distracted expression on his face. Did I say something wrong? Did I upset him? You decided that you would ask him about it later. Right now, you just enjoyed the playful dynamic that you had going on with him. 

When the both of you finally reached home, he set the bag down on the table as you grabbed the blankets and pillows needed for the evening’s session. After you both changed into your comfortable homebody outfits, you snuggled against his broad chest as he put an arm around you. The television was playing some romcom movie that you two thought sounded interesting - although, your attention was directed towards something else other than the screen. 

“Caleb?” You gently called his attention. His eyes immediately turned from the screen to you. 

“Hm? What is it, pipsqueak?” He replied in a gentle tone, matching yours. 

“What’s been bothering you?” Your eyebrows lightly knitted together. “Ever since the cafe, you seem… distracted. Did something happen?” You put a hand on his cheek and he laid his own hand on yours, deepening the skinship. He turned his face into your hand and smiled into it, laying a brief kiss on you. 

He gave a small hum. “I had an interesting thought, that’s all.” His tone was more playful now as he couldn’t help holding back that teasing grin he always had. 

You let out a groan, although it was a much more exaggerated one. “Tell me now! What is it that’s bothering you? Is it something that I can help with?” 

His eyes slightly averted from yours for a moment before focusing his gaze on your body - then onto your eyes again. Something changed in his eyes - something more akin to hunger. He laid another kiss on your fingers, then onto the back of your hand. 

“You were being so kind to that little girl… You’re so gentle when you talk to kids. Makes me want to give you one.” He whispered ever so gently as he snaked his hand underneath the blankets and laid it on your stomach. He rubbed tiny circles around as he laughed. 

“You would be good, wouldn’t you? I think about it sometimes… Me coming home to a tiny little you running around the house, causing a ruckus as we all laugh together.” His face inched closer to yours and that’s when you realized how hot your cheeks felt at the implications he was getting at. His beautiful, gorgeous eyes were intense to look into and you looked away for a moment, feeling like you would get lost in them if you stared for too long. 

He didn’t stop talking. He continued with that low, husky voice of his now as his hands began travelling lower. “Wouldn’t you agree? Wouldn’t you like being pregnant with my baby? I’ll give you one, yeah? I know that you get lonely sometimes when I’m off on a mission so… I’ll give you a baby, hm? How does that sound, honey?” The only reason why he stopped talking was because his lips were busy on your neck, kissing and suckling on your soft skin. You let out a soft moan as you tilted your neck, granting him more access to it. 

“Remember when we were kids and you said you wanted a big family when you grew up? 4 or more kids so they could all be friends with each other?” He was now licking your collarbones as he watched colorful bruises start to form on your skin. “You still want 4 babies, hm? I can give them to you if you’d like, yeah?”

Caleb’s naughty hands now dug past the hem of your shorts and his long, rugged fingers began rubbing your entrance through your panties. You could already feel yourself getting damp from the quick contact of his digits. Then he began rubbing your already hard clit with his thumb. Your clit, in response, was pulsing against his large digit. 

“C-Caleb…! Aaah…!” You let out a breathy sigh. You grabbed his face and began kissing him now - locking your mouths together as you allowed your tongue to explore his. There was a sweet and bitter taste in his mouth as he had just recently drank his latte while the both of you were watching the movie. With his other hand that wasn’t busy pleasing you, he put it behind your head to deepen your kiss. Obscene noises of wet moans filled the room and it was the only thing that you could hear in your ears. Whatever was playing on the screen now was just background noises that you couldn’t even bother giving your attention to anymore. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to feel everything that was happening. 

Your panties were getting damper and damper by the second, the fabric getting thinner and transparent now because of your slick. His gentle touches in contrast to how ferociously he was making out with you sent butterflies in your stomach. You couldn’t hold back a moan into his mouth, which made him grin. 

“Caleb, please…! Touch me more!” You begged him as you broke away from his lips. A thin strand of saliva was the only connection from your separation and you held back the urge to lick your lips - lest you’d lose the only thing keeping you both together. His lips were wet and bruised and so were yours. You took off your panties, discarding them somewhere in the room. “Put your fingers inside, please! I need you right now, I need you so much!” 

His breath hitched. His eyes were looking everywhere at you now, drinking in your desperation. Then, he chuckled - a sound that was rich and deep. “But should I?” He said, now taking away his hand from your wet and aching sex. “What if I don’t, hm? I’m the only one who can satisfy you, my love.” He licked one of his fingers that was covered in your slick. “And if I can’t satisfy you… are you going to cry? I can just leave you like this and walk away.” He’d chuckle. 

As if he said something offensive, you jumped onto his lap and began grinding on his propped up knee. You didn’t care if your wet slick dirtied his pants, you needed to relieve your throbbing or else you’d go insane. When you soon realized that it wasn’t enough, you forcefully grabbed the hand that was pleasuring you and moved it back to your cunt. Then, you began grinding on it as well. The soft flesh of his hands felt better than his pants, you believe. 

“Can’t you see how much I need you, Caleb?” You pleaded as you tried to entice something out of him with your pathetic cries.. “I’ve… I’ve always needed you. I need you in my life, Caleb. You’re the only one who can satisfy me. Please? Please?” You now leaned forward and began kissing his neck, mimicking what he did to you earlier. He let out a satisfied sigh as he tilted his neck, which you began nipping and suckling at. The wet sounds of your kisses and his pleased sighs made your head swirl. 

“When did you learn how to get so naughty, hm? Was it because of me?” Just when you thought your pleas fell on deaf ears, you felt one of his fingers enter you. You were so wet that his fingers could easily allow themselves in without resistance. You let out a breathy moan next to his ear as you felt another finger slip itself in. 

As his fingers fucked you, his other hand started to rub your clit as well. Overwhelmed by the stimulation of having both your hole and your bundle of nerves being pleasured, your hips began trying to move away. But just when you tried to move around, the gravity around you forced you to keep still. 

- Caleb’s evol, you quickly realized. 

You let out a frustrated and quiet sob as you were now being tortured with how good it felt. It was overwhelming, painful, and oh so good at the same time. Tears began falling from your eyes as the only thing you could do was continue holding onto him and moan pitifully into his ear. You could feel more slick travel down your thighs as he continued ravishing you with no hint of stopping. He licked your tears away and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, cooing you as he slipped in a third finger. Even though you were dripping with wet slick, the intrusion of a third finger began feeling like it was too much. You let out a choked moan as you wept. 

“N-No more, Caleb. It’s too much- I’m too full…!” You pleaded. 

He gently shushed you as he nibbled on your ear. “You’re doing so good for me, honey. You’re taking my fingers so well. Do you like them that much, princess? You like it when I fuck you so hard that you can do nothing but cry?” You hear him chuckle as he holds you closer to him. “You were always a crybaby, my love. I wonder if our baby will be a crybaby like you too?” 

The image of you being big and round with his child was enough to send you over the moon. You could feel your thighs shaking as you prepared to release yourself onto his hands. You could feel the buildup of your climax getting bigger in your abdomen and just when you could feel yourself cum, you couldn’t. 

Because he took his hands away. 

“Ah- wha-!” You cried out as your climax was disturbed. Your frustrated and aching cunt throbbed at the absence of his long fingers. Caleb released his evol and you collapsed onto him, your knees weak from the sudden introduction of gravity again. He held you tightly against his chest as he laid another kiss on your forehead. Then, he set you down on the sofa with you laying down on your back. Dazed and frustrated from your lack of climax, you allowed him to move you however he’d like. You were suddenly aware of how huge and wide his sofa was.

Caleb looked at you with an innocent smile on his face. “I suddenly had a thought that maybe I was being too mean to you if I just made you cum on my fingers. I mean, wouldn’t you much rather prefer to cum in my mouth instead, honey?” 

He spread your legs open with his hands, revealing the tasteful fruit that he couldn’t wait to consume. He went down to your cunt, smelling the musky aromatic smell as he observed your abused pussy. Your poor, swelled up clit was throbbing at how close his breath felt and your entrance that was soaked in your mouth-watering slick was shining beautifully from the sunlight cascading on you from the window. Caleb rubbed your thigh as he began kissing your inner thighs, each sensation sending electric shocks to you. You couldn’t hold back the quiet whimpers escaping from your lips. 

Then, he bit down on the flesh. You let out a loud moan, your hands clutching the blankets that you were laid on. You could feel him suckling on the abused skin now as he tried to deepen the mark, before moving away from it. Then, he repeated the same thing to your other inner thigh. Your clit and pussy throbbed from the painful sensation yet you could feel yourself leaking more juices. You cried out again and began thrusting your hips upwards. 

“Aaanh…Ah- Ah…! Caleb…!” You whined. “Hurry up already!”

He kissed your thighs. “Getting impatient, are we? How come you could handle waiting what felt like forever in line for the cafe but you can’t even be patient with me right now?” His stupid playful tone made you want to punch him. You let out a sound of frustration before gasping as you felt him lick your clit. 

Soon, he began suckling on the small bud of nerves as he began fingering you again with two this time to start. - ‘You can handle two this time, right? You’re always so eager to take my fingers, baby. I’ll treat you good, yeah. You’re getting my fingers so fucking wet, honey.’ You opened your legs wider, allowing him full access to your cunt. Your head was thrown back as you felt his fingers curve upwards, stimulating your sensitive spot. It was scary at this point how well he knew how to break you with just a few fingers. You were being unravelled by him and he continued to consume every fiber of your being without hesitation. It also didn’t help how Caleb’s eyes never left yours as he drank up every face of pleasure you made. You averted your eyes a few times before succumbing to looking into his eyes, allowing yourself to get lost in those beautiful violets and your own numbing pleasure. 

The wet sounds of his fingers fucking your tender hole was loud, as well as his moans enjoying his dinner. - ‘Princess, you taste so good… Mmm, could eat you for hours, honey. You’re being so good to me, baby.’ Your hole and your clit were never left alone as they were always receiving attention from Caleb. When he moved his mouth to your entrance and allowed his tongue to explore your soft insides, drinking up any slick that dared to leave your sobbing cunt, his fingers worked their magic in playing with your clit. And if he was attacking your clit with his soft tongue, his fingers would relentlessly fill you up. 

You could feel yourself getting closer by the second. You tried to not let it show on your face but the man who was giving you the world was Caleb - the person who always knew what you were feeling. The embarrassing sounds that you were making also became louder and more erotic, as well as how your legs were shaking - signalling how close your climax was coming. 

“Oouhh..! A-Ahhn..! C-Caleb! I’m gonna cum! Caleb, Caleb…!” You started chanting his name as if it was the only thing tying you down to staying conscious. He quickly grabbed one of your hands with his as he continued to eat you out, moaning into your cunt as he did so. - “Cum for me, baby. Give it all to me, sweetie. Give me all of you.” As you were riding out your orgasm, you tightly held onto his hand as he suckled your swollen clit and lapped up your pussy like a starved man. You began squirting, getting it all over his face and the sofa underneath you. Caleb watched you orgasm as he drank everything you - oh so graciously - offered him. After your climax, you whimpered as you felt him cleaning you up with his tongue - he licked your thighs and your swollen pussy, trying his best to get every nook and cranny that was still blessed with your juices. 

Feeling worn out from your intense orgasm, the only thing you could do was lay down and look up at the ceiling. Hell, even trying to look at Caleb was too much work. After he was done cleaning you up, he laid down next to you and snuggled with you as if nothing happened. 

“I’ll run a bath for you in a little bit, princess. But I want to cuddle first. I missed you, honey.” He said as he nuzzled his cheek against yours. You let out an exhausted sigh and gave him a peck on the forehead as you ran your hand through his soft brown locks. “Did I do good, honey? Did you feel good?” 

You chuckled. “What do you think? You could’ve done better.” You joked as you rolled your eyes. He was quiet for a moment before leaning into your ear, his breath feeling hot against it. 

“You think so? Want me to make you feel better right now then?” He said, then kissed  the shell of your ear. 

Your cheeks flushed a bright pink. You playfully pushed his face away. “I was just joking! I can’t even move right now, Caleb!” “So, you do admit that I made you feel good.” He chuckled as he pinched your nose. You scrunch your nose as you roll your eyes again, nodding. 

“I guess. Now carry me to the bathroom and put me in the tub, handsome.” 

When Caleb effortlessly lifted you up bridal style, he gently laid you in the tub after he removed all of your clothes and turned on the water. He hummed to himself as he ran his hand through the water, making sure that the temperature was just right for you. He had an obvious and huge tent in his pants, along with the wet spot from your leaky cunt from earlier as well at the top of his pants. You lick your lips as your mouth watered at the idea of taking him whole. 

You grab his arm and pull him down to your height. “Since you treated me well, how about I return the favor?” You whispered in his ear. 

He looked at you for a moment before grinning as he started to take off his clothes. “If  you’re offering, who am I to reject then, my love?”

[mononijikayu]

don’t they know it's the end of the world (cause you don’t love me anymore) — geto suguru.

You blinked, the knot in your chest tightening as you took in his face, his solemn expression that didn’t match the usual carefree look he wore. Was he already saying goodbye in some way? You shook your head slowly, the smile coming to your lips, though it carried a mixture of sadness and certainty. "Sugu, how could you even think about that?… I could never forget about you."  “It can happen, you know. Life happens.” He smiles in a small timid manner.   Your voice was soft, but there was no doubt in it. "No, you’re wrong. You’re the most important person in my life. How could I forget someone like you?"

GENRE: alternate universe - canon divergence;

WARNING/S: gen, afab! reader, angst, fluff, friendship, friends to lovers, eventual romance, slice of life, conflicted feelings, hurt/comfort, sad ending, physical touch, pet names (sugu, buttercup) mentioned character death, depression, mourning, loneliness, pain, grief, internal conflict, post-hidden inventory at the end, letting go, break up, meeting each other again, depiction of childhood, depiction of romance, depiction of internal conflict, depiction of complicated relationship, depiction of loneliness, mention of grief, depiction of depression, mention of internal conflict, non! sorcerer reader, sorcerer! suguru;

WORD COUNT: 10k words

NOTE: im soon back at university, so im rush writing everything and so im exhausted all the time too. so if im not updating, its because im probably regretting my life decisions. though, in any case, i will still publish as much as i can. im about two/three finished with valentines fics, but im tortured by sukuna because i have a standard with him and i can't escape it. anyway, i wrote this for suguru's birthday. he would have been thirty-five today!!! i hope you enjoy this fic!!! i love you all!!! see you on the sixth!!! <3

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IF YOU COULD DESCRIBE WONDER, IT WOULD BE BEING BY SUGURU’S SIDE. No one else could understand it, you like to think. What the two of you had, it was certainly a language made for two. It was a life that was built for the purpose of being known by you both. And you like to think that he feels the same way too.

You and Suguru had been together since you were kids, bound by an unspoken connection that neither of you ever questioned. Because, there was nothing to question about it. Nor could words even describe it all. It was too unique, too intriguing. And yet, it only belonged to the two of you.

It all started on a warm afternoon at the school playground, where laughter and shrieks filled the air as children ran around in endless games of tag. It was a long while ago, and yet it felt like yesterday to you. You could feel your eyes twitching as you watched from where you stood, permeating with desire and anxiety. 

You had been standing alone for a while, just a bit near the jungle gym, watching all the kids giggle and run about, with the zeal of youth dashing along with them.

As you watched them there with eager eyes, you kept wishing you could join in too, you wished you could run amok with joy too. But that heavy weight of fear blossoms your hesitation. It held you back from a lot of things, including making friends.

Yet, why wouldn’t you feel like this? You were new in town, and you didn’t know these kids. You didn't know any life lived in this place before you had come. Everything was new for you, as much as you were sure it would also be new to them. 

How would they even react to you, knowing you aren’t a familiar face they were already comfortable seeing? How would you interact with them, anyway? It’s not like you could just jump in and smile and just jump in easily? This is a sea and if you plunge so deep, you could drown. And you didn’t want that to happen. Not here, not when you were starting a new life. 

But then, that’s when he found you.

"Why are you just standing here?" a voice asked.

You turned to see a boy with dark hair, a little messy from running around, and warm, curious eyes. He wasn’t out of breath, despite the wild chase of tag that had just ended. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his tiny shorts, and he looked at you like he was trying to figure you out.

"I….I don’t know how to approach them." you muttered, kicking at a loose pebble. "I’m not sure how to come and tell them I want to play too, so I….."

Suguru blinked, then without hesitation, he grinned and reached out a hand to you. "I see…..Then let’s play together! I don’t care if you’re slow. I’ll just run at your speed, if that would make it easier on you."

Your eyes swiftly widened, surprised by the easy kindness in his voice. "Really?"

"Yeah!" he said enthusiastically. "I’ll even let you tag me first."

That was the beginning of everything, that was certain.

During recess, the world belonged to just the two of you. You ran hand in hand across the playground, unbothered by who was faster or slower. You hummed little tunes under your breath, and he giggled at the way you always skipped a step ahead before doubling back to him. You hopped, he ran, and sometimes, in the joy of it all, you tripped over each other’s feet and tumbled into the dirt.

And if one of you scraped a knee? The other sat down beside them without hesitation. If you fell, Suguru would plop down next to you, crossing his arms stubbornly. “I’m not playing if you’re not playing. That’s just how it is!

And you would do the same for him, because what was the fun in anything if he wasn’t right there beside you?

Nothing was ever quite complete without each other.

It wasn’t a good day unless you were together.

Even as you grew older, nothing changed.

The playground turned into quiet walks home, but your hands still found each other without thinking.

"You still hold my hand like we’re kids, Sugu," you teased one afternoon, fingers laced together as you walked home. The sun hung low in the sky, spilling warm golden light over the quiet street. Your shadows stretched long behind you, linked together like a promise.

Suguru glanced down at your hands, his grip tightening just slightly. "Yeah? You don’t like it?"

You smiled, squeezing back. "I never said that, you know!"

His grin was soft but sure, a mirror of the way he had always been with you. "Good. Because you’re still my favorite person."

And really, wasn’t that all that mattered?

══════════════════

IF YOUR BIRTHDAY COULD BE A HOLIDAY, SUGURU WOULD MAKE SURE OF IT. Your birthday has always been special, you know that much. But now more than ever, especially because, for as long as you could remember, Geto Suguru had been by your side for most of it. Now, it was even more special than before. 

The years blurred together in a collage of memories: the laughter, the excitement, the simple moments that felt so big when they were shared with him. There were so many pictures, pictures of the two of you, year after year.

You were always together. His presence in every single one, a steady anchor through the passing time. One that was the only constant throughout the world that keeps on changing.

Whether it was the early mornings, when you both rushed around the house, throwing together last-minute gifts for each other in the midst of the chaos of birthday preparations, or the quiet evenings spent chatting under the stars, those moments were always colored by Suguru’s unique way of making everything feel more important. 

He never treated your birthday like just another day. To him, it was an event, something that deserved to be celebrated with the utmost care. After all, it was the day you were born—the day you were with him. And to Suguru, that meant the world.

He didn’t just show up for your birthday. 

No, he took it as seriously as he would a test. 

He planned it meticulously, down to the smallest detail, as though the day had to be perfect.

"I thought you might like this, buttercup!" he’d say with a grin, always just a little too proud of whatever thoughtful gift he managed to get you, even if you’d both picked it out together the day before. "I’m pretty sure you’ll love it." 

And every time, no matter how simple the gift, the thought behind it always felt like the most meaningful gesture.

On your birthday mornings, you’d wake up to the smell of something delicious.  The pancakes, bacon, whatever it was that he knew you’d love, always cooked with that special touch that made it taste even better. He would rush in, hands full of wrapped presents, bright eyes sparkling like a child eager to see your reaction. 

"You ready?" he’d ask, bouncing on his heels.

You couldn’t help but smile at the sight— Geto Suguru, the one who always had his life together, who always so composed, turned into a ball of excitement for just one day.

Even in the evenings, as the day began to fade and the sky turned dark, you would find yourselves sitting together outside, wrapped in blankets under the stars. He’d listen to you talk about the year that had passed, what had changed, what had stayed the same while you both sat in comfortable silence, the kind only the two of you shared.

"Make a wish, okay?" he’d say when it was time to blow out the candles, the way he’d always said it every year. But there was something about the way he said it then, with that little smile on his face, as if he already knew your wish without needing to hear it.

Suguru didn’t need grand gestures. For him, it was always about the little things, the way he made sure your favorite song was playing when you entered the room, the way he’d insist on carrying your cake even though it was ridiculously heavy, the way he refused to let anyone else help you with the birthday prep, because it was his job to make sure everything was just right for you.

And he didn’t think it was just about the day itself. To Suguru, your birthday wasn’t just a celebration of your life; it was a reminder that you existed, that you were here, and that the world—his world—was just a little bit brighter because you were in it.

Every year, as he gave you your gift, no matter how big or small, you could always see that gleam in his eyes. The beautiful gleam that said. "This is important. This is you, this is us, and I’m going to make sure you feel special, because you are."

For Suguru, your birthday wasn’t just another day in the calendar. It was the day you were born—his day to remind you just how much you meant to him, and to celebrate the fact that, all these years later, you were still by his side. 

And when you looked back at all the memories, all those years of birthdays spent with him, you couldn’t help but smile. They weren’t just your birthdays, they were his to celebrate too.

He celebrated them just as fiercely, just as passionately, as if it were his own day to remember. Because, to Suguru, every birthday spent together was a blessing. And he never took that for granted.

But this year, it felt different.

Not because of the cake or the candles. Not because of the way your friends sang off-key, their voices melding into a perfect disaster. No, this year was different because, when the party had quieted down and the night was winding to a close, Suguru handed you a small, neatly wrapped box.

He was sitting beside you on the couch, his beautiful lilac eyes watching you closely as you held the box in your hands, the soft rustle of paper the only sound between you. You could only look at the beautiful box in front of you for the longest time. He clears his throat.

“Are you really not saying anything?”

You looked at him suspiciously, fingers hesitating over the ribbon. "You didn’t have to get me anything, Sugu."

"I wanted to, buttercup." he said simply, nudging the box closer. "Go on, open it."

So you did.

Inside was a delicate silver bracelet, the light catching on the fine chain, making it shimmer. But what caught your attention was the tiny charm hanging from it—a miniature book, small enough to rest in the center of your palm, its metal etched with tiny details that made it look like it had real pages inside.

You blinked up at him, surprise evident in your expression. "Sugu…"

He looked uncharacteristically shy, rubbing the back of his neck. "It’s nothing fancy, but… I thought it’d be nice. Y’know, for us."

"For us?" you repeated, tracing your fingers over the book charm.

Suguru nodded, watching your reaction closely. "Yeah. Because we always read together. Because of all those afternoons spent sharing a book, arguing over who gets to turn the page first—"

"You always turn the page too fast, you know." you interrupted with a pout.

"And you always get distracted by random things in the margins, buttercup." he shot back, smirking. “We’re both not good at it.”

You huffed. "That’s called appreciating the details, Suguru."

"Sure, sure." he laughed, shaking his head. "Anyway, that’s the first one."

You tilted your head. "First?"

He reached over, taking your wrist gently in his hands as he fastened the bracelet around it, his touch careful, warm. "Every birthday from now on, I’m giving you a charm. One for each year. Something that means something to us."

Your breath caught for a moment.

"You’re serious?" you asked, looking up at him.

Suguru met your gaze, his expression unwavering. "Completely." Then, with a lopsided grin, he added. "You’re stuck with me for a long time, you know."

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face. Everything about you just felt warm, especially when you looked at it, knowing he put a lot of thought on this beautiful present. The bracelet felt light on your wrist, but the promise it carried felt heavier. This was solid, real, unshakable. Just like your relationship with him, ironclad for all your lives.

"Good." you said, squeezing his hand before letting go. "Because I wouldn’t want it any other way."

And back then, with Geto Suguru beside you, his promise wrapped around your wrist and his warmth wrapped around your heart, you believed it.

You really, really did.

══════════════════

ALL BIRTHDAYS ARE HAPPY, WELL THEY SHOULD BE. But this morning, this birthday of yours, it was not something that just truly felt odd. You had tried to put it off, knowing that it wasn’t the right place or time to talk about it. You could feel it, you know you do. Something was wrong with your best friend. 

Geto Suguru had been unusually quiet all day, even when he was trying to be casual and jolly, smiling at you. But you knew there was something going on and you couldn't put your finger on why. The excitement of the day had dulled a little, as the two of you moved through the motions of cake and presents, but something in the air felt different.

It wasn’t until later that afternoon when everything changed.

You had walked him to the train station, like you always did, ever since he moved to another part of the city. Though this time, there was an unspoken weight that drowned between you, a heaviness that neither of you could shake. Geto Suguru, usually so confident and carefree, seemed distant, his usual smile a little more strained.

"I got in." he said, as the train pulled up to the station, his voice barely above a whisper, yet somehow carrying the weight of his words.

You paused, unsure of what he meant at first. "Got in?"

He nodded, his eyes avoiding yours for a moment before meeting your gaze. "To Jujutsu High School. I’m going to Tokyo."

Your heart skipped, the reality of the situation sinking in like ice water. 

He was going to leave you, you were going to be separated. 

Your Suguru was heading to Tokyo to train, on the other side of your world.

For the first time in years, you wouldn’t be by each other’s side every day. The thought was almost impossible to process. Not when you had been together for so long, just being bubbles in each other’s circle. Your lips parted, you wanted to say something. But you didn’t know what. You were too stunned to speak. 

"Wait, you’re leaving? When?" you whispered, your voice suddenly became small. 

“Tomorrow.” He whispered, his tone almost blossoming with shame. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t….I didn’t want to ruin the time and I didn't think it was going to come any time soon, but it just….”

"But… but today’s my birthday, Sugu."

Suguru gave you a sad smile, his hand reaching out to ruffle your hair. "I know. I’m sorry. But it’s not goodbye forever, okay? We’ll keep in touch, I promise."

You nodded, but the lump in your throat made it hard to speak. Suguru was your rock, your constant. The thought of him being so far away, in a completely different city, felt like the world was shifting beneath your feet.

He took a step closer to you, lowering his voice. "I didn’t want to leave without giving you something special." He pulled out a small box from his pocket, holding it out to you. 

You took it from his warm hands, your eyes brimming with questions. When you opened it, a soft gasp escaped your lips. Inside was a new charm for your bracelet—a delicate purple colored buttercup, its petals etched with such fine detail that it looked almost real. It was beautiful. And soulful. Almost glistening as brightly as his eyes.

He smiled gently, a warmth in his eyes as he slipped the charm onto your bracelet. "It’s a buttercup," he said softly. "My nickname for you. So I thought…I thought it would be perfect."

You stared at the charm for a moment, the lump in your throat thickening. "You still call me that…"

Suguru’s smile grew tender. "Always will. And whenever you look at it, I want you to think of me, okay? Think of me often."

You blinked away the tears threatening to spill and smiled back at him. "I will, Sugu. I promise."

He pulled you into a tight hug, holding you close for just a moment longer than usual. "Take care of yourself, alright? And don’t forget—I’m just a train ride away. Osaka is not that far. So when you need me, call me. Okay?"

“Okay.” You squeezed him back, trying to imprint the moment into your memory, trying to hold onto the feeling of him next to you. "I won’t forget. I’ll think of you every day."

Suguru pulled away slowly, his fingers brushing the side of your face. "I know you will."

The train’s loud engine roared to brutish life, and the sound of the wheels on the tracks made your chest tighten even further. You watched Suguru stand by the window.

His beautiful face illuminated by the soft afternoon light as the train slowly started to pull away. Your feet felt rooted to the ground, your mind racing with so many things you wanted to say, things you didn’t know how to say.

But before you could stop yourself, something inside you snapped. You took a step forward, then another, and then you were running, your heart pounding heavily in your chest, your breath coming faster as you pushed yourself harder, faster, chasing the train like you could somehow outrun the fear that gripped your heart.

"Suguru!" you called out, your voice shaking, but loud enough for him to hear.

He turned around in surprise, his eyes wide as he saw you running toward him. The train was moving faster now, but he didn’t hesitate. You could see how his face lit up with a mix of disbelief and hope, his hand pressed against the window.

"Sugu!" you shouted again, your heart racing even harder, your legs moving as if they had a will of their own. The distance between you seemed so large, but you weren’t going to stop.

He leaned closer to the window, his hand now reaching out, as if trying to touch you through the glass. You could see the concern on his face, his bright lilac eyes filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite name, but it made you move faster, faster than you thought you could.

When you finally reached the side of the train, you stopped just short of losing your breath. You pressed your hands to your chest, feeling your heart pounding, and you looked up at him, eyes shining.

"I love you, Suguru!" you blurted, the words spilling out before you could stop them.

For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Geto Suguru froze, his eyes wide in astonishment, as though he hadn’t expected you to say it—that particular thing, not now, not like this. You watched him, your heart hanging in the air between you, waiting for his reaction, wondering if you had made a mistake.

But then, his expression softened, and a smile broke through the surprise. It wasn’t just a smile you see. It was his smile, that beautiful smile that only belonged to you. The one that made everything feel like it would be okay, no matter what. He nodded slowly, a little chuckle escaping his lips as he leaned closer to the window, as if pulling you in even from a distance.

"I love you too, buttercup!" he said, his voice full of warmth, his eyes soft but certain.

And just like that, everything that had felt so heavy was lifted, the weight of the unspoken tension, the distance between you, all of it faded into the background of that moment. You smiled back at him, breathless but relieved, and the world around you seemed to slow down.

The train started to pick up speed again, and Suguru gave you one last look, his smile still lingering as he waved.

"Take care of yourself, okay?" he called out, his voice carrying over the noise of the train.

"I will!" you said, a smile tugging at your lips. "I’ll always think of you."

And with that, the train pulled away, leaving you standing there, heart full, the buttercup charm on your bracelet gleaming softly in the fading light. 

That train carried your heart with him.

But you were sure that you held his heart here too.

You looked at your buttercup charm, smiling.

“Come back to me soon, okay?”

══════════════════

THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT HOW MUCH HE HAD CHANGED. And all he could do was wish that you didn’t see it, that you would never find out the truth. All he could pray for was that you didn’t notice the light in his eyes dying or the bitterness of the taste from the curses he was forced to consume still on his tongue.  

Geto Suguru has always been a powerful force of nature, a rock withstanding everything in his way. In a way, he was also your rock, your steady presence in your life. No matter what was happening around him, he was there, unwavering, holding everything together with that quiet strength of his. 

But recently, something in him had started to shift. Something he wasn’t prepared to admit to just yet. Ever since Amanai Riko’s death, the change had been subtle at first, there were those small signs that he was struggling, pulling away just a little more each day. But now, as the days passed, it became harder to ignore.

Geto Suguru was slipping.

And he didn’t know how to stop it.

He didn’t know how to be more than this.

He didn’t know the way out of it.

He found himself lost in a fog of thoughts he couldn’t quite articulate, his emotions tangled in a web he couldn't find a way out of. The burden of loss weighed heavily on him, crushing him in ways he didn’t know how to handle. But he couldn’t—wouldn’t—let you see it. Not today. Not on your birthday. Not on your last day together.

He had made it a point, from the moment you walked into the room, to be the Suguru you knew. He plastered on that familiar smile, spoke to you like everything was fine, and made sure the day went on like any other. 

But the moment you looked away, or when you laughed, or when he caught you looking at him with that softness in your eyes, a heaviness settled deep in his chest. He wanted to say something, to tell you what was really happening, but the words felt like they were caught in his throat, unable to escape.

You had no idea what he was battling inside.

And he couldn’t bear to burden you with it—not on your special day.

It was the evening, the sun sinking low in the sky, and you both sat together on the balcony of his apartment, watching the colors in the sky shift from gold to deep blue. The breeze was warm, and you had your head resting on his shoulder, the same way you had for years. You both sat there in a comfortable silence, but Suguru’s mind was anywhere but there.

"I’m really glad we could spend the day together, Sugu." you said softly, your voice like a melody that brought him back to the present. “Thank you for coming to visit me, even with your busy schedule.”

Suguru nodded, his smile barely there as he kept his gaze on the horizon, afraid if he looked at you too long, you would see the cracks he was trying to hide. "Me too, buttercup." he said, but even to his own ears, the words didn’t sound right. They didn’t carry the weight they should have.

You could feel the subtle shift in his energy, the way he wasn’t fully present. He wasn’t the Geto Suguru you knew, the Sugu who would always make you laugh, who would hold you close and whisper silly things to keep your spirits high. He was distant, almost like a shadow of himself. And you knew he hated it, even without saying it to you.

"Sugu." you said quietly, sitting up to look at him, your hand gently touching his arm. "You okay?"

Suguru flinched, the question catching him off guard. He gave a small, forced laugh, trying to brush it off. "Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, I guess. I’ve….been very busy."

But you didn’t buy it. You knew him better than anyone else, and you could see the lie in his eyes. But he wasn’t ready to talk, not now, not on the day that was meant to be yours, not on the day that he wanted to protect you from his own chaos. He didn’t want you to see him like this, not when everything was supposed to be perfect.

He wanted to be strong for you, wanted to be the Geto Suguru you deserved, the Geto Suguru that you love, the Geto Suguru you knew. But the weight of the world felt like it was crushing him from the inside, and he didn’t know how to hold it together anymore. 

You reached up to touch his cheek, the gesture so simple but full of the warmth you had always shared. "Sugu… you don’t have to hide from me. Not now. Not ever."

He froze at your touch, his lilac eyes shutting softly, even for just a brief second. He wanted to let it all go, wanted to break down in front of you, but he couldn’t. Not like this. Not today. He swallowed hard, the words choking him before he could even say them.

"I’m fine." he repeated, but there was no conviction in his voice. “Really, buttercup. Don’t worry so much about me, okay?”

You didn’t push him further, but the sadness in his once bright eyes told you everything you needed to know. He was breaking inside, but he didn’t want you to see it. He didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want to talk about it just yet. He wasn’t ready. Not yet. And especially not on your last day together.

"Okay." you whispered softly, leaning back against his shoulder once more, both of you falling into silence again.

But Geto Suguru knew. He knew that you would always see through him. And as you sat there, so close, yet so far from what was really happening, he couldn’t help but feel like he was losing grip on everything. He thought he was losing himself, you, on the life you had dreamed of sharing.

And so, the night passed in a quiet sadness, Suguru’s heart heavy with emotions he couldn’t quite express. Tomorrow, he will leave. Tomorrow, everything will change. He knew that all too well. By sunrise, you wouldn’t recognize him anymore. By sunrise, he wouldn’t be your Sugu anymore. 

But for tonight, he would hold onto this—hold onto you, and pretend that everything was okay, just for a little while longer. He thinks he could pretend one last time and keep you with him, enjoying the need of warmth that only you could understand.

The evening air was still, the world outside quieting as the stars began to prick the darkening sky. You sat together for a little while, as you waited for the train to come. Geto Suguru’s silence was heavy, but there was a soft, almost palpable tenderness in the way he was beside you. It was always that way, when he was beside you. Even when you were kids.

But the silence was a new thing. This silence was so loud, and yet so deafening. Yet you also didn’t bridge the gap. At least not tonight. He didn’t need it right now and you can tell. You just took a deep breath and waited, staring off the train tracks. 

Your Suguru seemed lost in his own thoughts, his calloused fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the railing in front of you, his lilac gaze ever so lost in the faraway space. To the place you could not follow.

But you knew it was just his way of trying to hold everything in. Then, after a moment that felt like eternity, he broke the quiet, his voice soft but steady, like he was trying to make it sound casual when it wasn’t. 

"I got you something, buttercup." he said, his hand reaching into his pocket. You looked up at him, noticing the faintest tremor in his fingers, but you didn't comment on it.

He pulled out a small, carefully wrapped box, offering it to you with a look that was a mix of hesitation and something deeper, something he couldn’t quite put into words. "I know it’s not much, but I wanted to give you something… meaningful. Like always."

You took the box from him, your little heart fluttering a little in anticipation, not knowing what to expect. Slowly, you unwrapped it with much care, your tender fingers gently peeling back the layers until you saw what was inside.

It was a charm, delicate and beautiful, with a tiny forget-me-not flower carved into its surface. The petals were soft, yet detailed, their edges just slightly raised as if to give them life, to make them feel real. The forget-me-not. It was simple but meaningful, and somehow, it felt like it held everything unsaid between you two in one small, fragile flower.

Suguru’s voice broke the moment, barely above a whisper, but heavy with emotion. "I want you to always remember me, buttercup." he said, his gaze meeting yours, his eyes dark with something you couldn’t place. "No matter what happens, no matter where life takes us, never forget about me."

You froze for a heartbeat, confusion washing over you at his words. Never forget about him?

The thought didn’t make sense. Geto Suguru was more than just a memory; he was the person who had shaped so much of your life, the one who had been there for you through everything. He was your everything. How could you forget him?

You blinked, the knot in your chest tightening as you took in his face, his solemn expression that didn’t match the usual carefree look he wore. Was he already saying goodbye in some way?

You shook your head slowly, the smile coming to your lips, though it carried a mixture of sadness and certainty. "Sugu, how could you even think about that?… I could never forget about you." 

“It can happen, you know. Life happens.” He smiles in a small timid manner.  

Your voice was soft, but there was no doubt in it. "No, you’re wrong. You’re the most important person in my life. How could I forget someone like you?"

Suguru’s lilac eyes softened at your words, the weight of the moment easing just a little as you spoke. His chapped lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to say something more, but he only let out a quiet, relieved breath, his shoulders relaxing for the first time that evening.

He reached out, gently placing the forget-me-not charm on your bracelet, his fingers lingering there for a moment longer than necessary. "I just… I need to know you’ll always remember. Even when we’re apart.”

"I will, I promise." you said, your voice firm, the sincerity in your words reaching the deepest parts of him. "I’ll always think of you. Every single day, every single hour. Even the seconds. I’ll always remember you, Suguru. You’re too important to forget."

“Is that so?”

You hummed, smiling at him. “Hm. Because I love you.”

For a brief, tender moment, Suguru’s eyes seemed to shine with something that wasn’t just sadness but relief. It was as if the weight of the unspoken fears, the guilt, and the pain he’d been carrying had finally started to lift, just a little. He smiled, a real, heartfelt smile that reached his eyes.

"Good," he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "That’s all I need to hear."

And there, under the stars, with the sound of the world fading into a quiet lull, you both sat together. You didn’t need words to fill the silence that had settled between you. The charm on your bracelet was a promise, a symbol of everything you had been through, everything you had shared, and everything that was still to come.

"I love you too, buttercup." Suguru whispered, his voice barely above a breath, but the words carried so much weight, so much meaning that it felt like the whole world had shifted in that instant.

You didn’t hesitate, not for a second. "I know, Sugu. I know." you replied, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips, a smile that only he could make appear. 

It was a statement, but one that wasn’t born out of arrogance. It was the truth. The truth that had been there all along, between the quiet moments, the shared laughter, the years of growing together. He was your constant, just as you were his.

And you had always known, known in the very marrow of your bones.

he loved you too. More than anything in life. More than the universe could know.

Suguru didn’t immediately respond. He simply stared at you, his gaze softening with an intensity that almost made it hard to breathe. He shifted closer, his hands rising slowly, as if afraid that if he moved too fast, you would vanish in an instant. His fingers brushed against the curve of your jaw before they settled on your cheeks, warm and grounding.

His touch was gentle, the weight of his hands steady against your skin, as though he was afraid to touch you too hard, afraid that any sudden movement would make you slip through his fingers.

His gaze never wavered from your face, and for a long moment, it was like the world faded away. There was nothing but the two of you, him, close enough for you to feel the warmth of his presence, and you, feeling like the universe had shrunk to this moment.

Suguru’s eyes searched for yours, his expression both tender and filled with something deeper, something that only someone who had loved you for so long could understand. It was as though he was memorizing every detail of you.

The way the light caught in your eyes, the curve of your lips, the soft flutter of your lashes when you blinked. He took in your features like he was afraid they would slip away, like time was running out and he couldn’t afford to miss a single second of it.

His thumb traced the outline of your cheekbone, the movement so soft it almost tickled, but it was full of reverence. As if you were something sacred to him, something irreplaceable. As if you were the most important pearl of the world, shining in front of him, making him your sea. 

"You’re so beautiful, buttercup." he whispered, and the words held so much more than just a compliment. It was the way he said them, as if he had seen every side of you—your strengths, your flaws, your heart—and still, in every corner of it, you were beautiful to him. 

The simplicity of the words took your breath away, and for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond. You just looked at him, feeling the weight of his love like a gentle embrace, like it wrapped around your heart, holding it safe in his hands.

You didn’t need to speak to feel the truth of it all. This moment, this space between you, felt like the entire universe had conspired to bring you to this point, where everything you had shared and everything you had yet to share hung in the balance of this silent exchange.

Suguru leaned in slightly, his breath warm against your skin. You could feel the way his body was still, but there was a pulse of something deep inside him, something he wasn’t fully ready to let go of, not yet. And in that breathless, delicate space, you let your own heart speak.

"I love you, Sugu." you whispered back, your voice trembling just slightly, but filled with a certainty that made everything else fade into the background.

His hands cupped your face a little tighter, his thumbs stroking the soft skin of your cheeks as if you were the only thing that mattered in the world. "I’ll never forget you, buttercup." he murmured, almost as if he was saying it to himself, but you heard it. “You’re everything I am. Everything I breathe.”

The weight of it hung in the air, and though his words were bittersweet, you felt a flicker of hope in them.

"I’ll never forget you either." you whispered, your voice steady and sure, despite the turmoil swirling within you.

Because you knew that no matter where life took you both, Suguru would always be a part of you. No amount of time or distance could change that. “You’re my everything too.”

You leaned into his touch, your foreheads pressing gently together, the warmth of his hands grounding you both in the moment. His lilac eyes closed for a beat, a soft sigh escaping him as if he, too, was trying to hold on to this feeling, trying to commit it to memory just as you were.

And for that brief moment, there was no goodbye. There was only the now, the shared stillness, the love between you both, wrapped up in the quiet understanding that no matter what happened, you would always carry each other with you.

He moved his face closer, his lips brushing softly against your forehead. The kiss was light, like a promise, a silent vow that this love, this sacred bond between the two of you, it would never truly be broken, no matter the miles between you.

Suguru’s lips linger on your forehead for a moment longer, a soft, lingering warmth that makes everything else feel distant, as if time had slowed down just for the two of you.

The world outside the station, the sound of the train tracks, the noises of the city, the ticking of the clock, everything seemed muted, fading into the background as you both existed in this fragile, perfect bubble of quiet.

He pulled back slightly, just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes soft but laden with an unspoken weight. He looked like he wanted to say something more, something important, but the words never quite formed. 

Instead, he just studied your face, as if he was trying to memorize everything about you. Every little memory of you, your bright expression, the way your long hair fell around your face, the way your eyes held a kindness that had always been there, even in the most difficult of times.

“I’ll miss you.” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, a subtle crack breaking through the calm facade he’d been trying so hard to maintain.

You nodded, your heart aching as his words sank in. The truth was, you would miss him too, more than you could ever put into words. You couldn’t even imagine what life would be like without him so close, without his constant presence to steady you.

The thought of the distance between you both made the space around you feel colder, as though the warmth of his touch was already slipping through your fingers.

“I’ll miss you too, Sugu. More than you know.” you whispered back, the truth of it making your voice tremble just slightly.

He smiled, a sad, bittersweet thing, his thumb tracing the outline of your jaw once more, slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every moment.

"Just remember, buttercup." he murmured, his eyes soft but intense. "No matter where we are, no matter how far apart we get, I’ll always be with you. I’ll always be there, in everything we’ve shared."

"I know." you said, nodding again, a small smile tugging at your lips. “And I’ll always carry a piece of you with me. In my heart.”

Geto Suguru’s breath caught at your words, his eyes glistening as if he wanted to say something more, but the emotion was too much, too overwhelming. Instead, he just leaned in and kissed your forehead once more, gentle but full of all the feelings he couldn’t quite express.

“I’ll be waiting, buttercup.” he whispered, his voice low, but there was a fierce determination behind it. “No matter how long it takes. I’ll be waiting for you.”

You looked up at him, your heart full, eyes brimming with something that could have been tears if you let it. You didn’t speak for a moment, just held his gaze, feeling the weight of his words settle into you like a warm, comforting blanket.

Finally, you smiled through the lump in your throat, the quiet sadness blending with something softer, something hopeful. "I’ll come back to you, Sugu. I promise. So come back to me too, okay?"

The words hung between you, a promise sealed in the silence that followed. 

He can’t promise something like that to you, not like this now. 

By sunrise, he can no longer come back to you, never again.

And yet, he still does, he lets this promise be unfulfilled.

He lets this moment be a little white lie to keep your smile.

Suguru nodded, a small, hopeful smile on his lips, but his eyes, those dark, familiar eyes, held a quiet ache. He didn’t say anything else, just stayed close, his hand still on your cheek, his presence steady even though the moment was winding down. The night was still, and it felt like time was slipping away too fast.

“I should go, buttercup.” Suguru said, his voice tinged with reluctance. "But I’ll see you again, right? You’ll visit me when you can, won’t you?"

You nodded, already knowing how much this meant to him. You smiled tenderly at him, you smiled at him like you loved him. You smiled at him like he deserves to have it. And yet he doesn’t. The devil does not deserve such a thing.

"Of course I will." you reassured him, reaching up to touch his hand, the one that had stayed on your cheek. "I won’t let you forget about me."

His smile grew just a little, and for the first time in what felt like forever, there was a glimmer of peace in his eyes. "I could never forget about you."

And with that, he gave you one last kiss on the forehead, light and full of everything unsaid, full of everything you would carry with you in your heart. He pulled back slowly, his hand slipping from your cheek to your hand.

His fingers lingering for a moment longer, as though reluctant to let go. Then, with a final, lingering look, he turned and made his way toward the door. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want this to be the last time. But he had to. He had to go.

He let himself step into it, the door closing softly behind him. For a moment, you felt the weight of the world shift. The quiet that followed his departure felt louder than any noise, and yet, somehow, you knew you’d be okay. You’d carry him with you, just like you promised.

The night grew darker, but the small forget-me-not charm on your bracelet caught the light, reminding you of everything you had shared. It was more than just a memory, it was a piece of him that you could hold on to, no matter where life took you both.

Geto Suguru was always going to be a part of you. And no matter the distance, no matter how much time passed, you would never forget him. He was the most important part of your life, and that would never change.

Two days later, you got the call.

He had gone missing, his parents were gone.

And you?

You had lost the love of your life.

That was his goodbye.

══════════════════

epilogue

A LONG TIME HAD COME AND GONE, BUT IT STILL FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY. Seven years had passed since Geto Suguru’s defection from the jujutsu society, since the time he turned away from everything he once held dear. Time had blurred the edges of the past for everyone except him. 

He had tried to move on, he knew he had to. He had all but tried to bury his memories deep enough so that they no longer haunted him. But there were days when everything came rushing back to him.

The horror on his parents faces that night, their deaths at his own hands, the ones he had betrayed, the village consumed by blue flame. And then there was you, the love he had lost and left. The one he had let go and fly away.

From the shadows, Suguru watched you kneel before the graves, the sun hanging low in the sky, casting long shadows across the quiet cemetery. You were gentle with the flowers, your movements soft as you arranged the bouquets on the gravestones, your fingers careful as they brushed away the dust that had accumulated over time. 

He had never imagined, in his darkest moments, that he would see you here—so close, yet so far away from everything he had become. But there you were, tending to the graves of the parents he had killed, as if it was something he had never been able to do. You were doing it for him, in a way, even though you didn’t have to.

He had heard the stories about it all. He had to keep his tabs on you, he just couldn’t stay away, even now. Throughout the years, he heard whispers of how you had married, how you had continued on without him, a life of your own.

He had known that it was bound to happen, but it didn’t make it any easier. To see you with a ring on your finger, a life that no longer had a place for him, a life that had moved on while he stayed stuck in his past.

The soft rustle of the wind moved through the trees, and that was when you turned your head, your eyes meeting his. For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. You blinked, as if you weren’t quite sure you were seeing him, but then there was no mistaking it.

Geto Suguru was standing there, just outside the cemetery gate, watching you with that same quiet intensity that had always been his. The world seemed to hold its breath as you slowly rose to your feet, the weight of his gaze pulling you in.

He didn’t speak at first, not knowing what to say. 

After all this time, what was there left to say?

He had left you and you had suffered.

What could someone who broke their promise say?

You walked toward him, your expression unreadable but steady, your steps purposeful. As you got closer, he noticed the glint of sunlight on your finger, and his breath hitched before he could stop himself. The wedding ring.

It was a beautiful thing, one could say. But when he looked at it, it was all but a bitter ugly, disgusting thing. It was a reminder of the life you had. A life he had never been a part of, a life he had given up on when he made the choices he did. 

You stopped in front of him, your gaze unwavering. You looked at him for a long moment, your eyes searching his face, almost as if you were still trying to figure him out after all this time. "I didn’t think you’d come back here." you said quietly, your voice thick with something he couldn’t place. Maybe it was sorrow. Maybe it was a relief.

Suguru felt a pang in his chest, but he swallowed it down. "I didn’t think I would either." His voice was rough, almost foreign to him after so many years of silence, but the words still carried weight. "But... here I am."

Your gaze flickered to the bracelet on your wrist—the one with the forget-me-not, the buttercup, the book charm. It was a silent progression that told a story. A long forgotten story, one that only you and him could remember. It was at one point his story. His presence, his absence, his love. And now it wasn’t. Not anymore.

That Geto Suguru is dead.

All that remains is an imposter.

All that remains is a devil.

"I never took it off." you said, a small, sad smile playing at the corner of your lips. "You told me to never forget you. I thought I would, after all these years... but I never could." 

Your fingers traced the charms lightly, the memory of the years that had passed between you both lingering in the air like a ghost. "I couldn’t take it off, Suguru. Not even when it felt like I should."

He couldn’t quite hide the sadness that flickered in his eyes at your words, but he didn’t look away. He had been the one to leave. He had been the one to make all the wrong decisions, and yet, somehow, you had never given up on him. You had never completely forgotten him.

Suguru reached into his pocket slowly, his movements deliberate, as though he were unsure of his next step. He pulled out a small charm, delicate and beautiful, white chrysanthemums this time, it was an offering of something new, something that said goodbye and hello being said like it was the same word.  He held it out to you, his eyes never leaving yours. 

"For you." he whispered, his voice barely audible, but full of all the unspoken feelings that had built up over the years. "I know it’s too late. But I want you to have it."

You took it from him, your fingers brushing against his for just a heartbeat before you looked down at the charm in your palm. The white chrysanthemums were soft, intricate, and they reminded you of the fleeting nature of everything. It was full of the memories, the love, the pain.

You smiled, a bittersweet curve of your lips, your heart heavy with a mixture of emotions that you had long buried. "Sugu….Suguru." you began, your voice steady but thick with something he could almost taste. "For so long, TYou wanted to be remembered. But now... you want to be forgotten."

His heart clenched at your words, but he nodded slowly, as if he had already known, as if it was something he could never change. "You deserve better than to remember a ghost of someone long gone, buttercup." he said, his voice soft but full of the kind of finality that only a ghost could understand. "You deserve a life that’s yours, not one haunted by me."

The distance between you seemed so vast in that moment, even though you were standing right in front of him. The years had stretched that gap wide, and yet, in this final moment, you both understood each other completely. 

You stood there, the weight of his words heavy between you both, as the space around you seemed to quiet. The cool breeze rustled the trees, the only sound in the air, but even it felt like a distant whisper against the rawness of the moment.

You opened your mouth, a million things on the tip of your tongue, but none of them felt right. Your heart was full of so much you couldn’t put into words. A thousand emotions flooded your chest/

And yet, you felt an aching kind of clarity in his request. You hadn’t expected it. You hadn’t expected him to say those words, to say that he wanted you to forget him. To leave him behind as if he were nothing more than a faded memory.

He stood before you, his back slightly turned, but he didn’t move away. His eyes, those dark, familiar eyes, were locked onto the distance, as though he was already gone in his mind, already on his way to somewhere far from this place, from you.

You swallowed hard, your gaze flickering over his face, trying to catch any hint of a smile, of the warmth that had once been there between you both. But it was gone. Everything had long perished to nothing.

The man in front of you wasn’t the same person you had known all those years ago, and deep down, you knew that neither were you. You had both changed, time had done its work, and the world had swept you in different directions.

"So, if I see you again—" you started, unsure of where to take the conversation, unsure of whether there even was a conversation left to have.

Suguru’s smile was sad, almost imperceptible, but it was there, and it tugged at your heart more than anything else. “Pass by, buttercup.” he said, his voice so soft, so worn. "Don’t look at me. You shouldn’t remember me. Just...."

Let me go. He thinks to himself. Don't love me again.

The simplicity of his request hit you harder than any words of anger or resentment could have. You shouldn’t remember me. He was asking you, begging you, to forget him. As though he was a shadow, a passing thing, unworthy of your attention, of your love, of your memories.

For a moment, you just stood there, your heart pounding in your chest, your mind spinning with the weight of it all. You wanted to shout, to argue, to tell him that he was wrong—that you couldn’t just erase him from your life like he was nothing.

But the silence in the air, the finality in his tone, made you hesitate. It wasn’t anger you heard in his voice. It wasn’t even regret. It was something else entirely. it was something deeper, something rooted in the pain he had carried all these years.

“I can’t just forget you.” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them. The truth was raw and simple, and it echoed in your chest as it passed through your lips. "I’ve carried you with me for so long, Suguru. I can’t just erase you from my life."

Suguru turned his head slightly, just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes dark and filled with something you couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t guilt or anger, but something quieter, something softer, as though he was bracing himself for the weight of what he had just asked you to do.

"You don’t need to carry me anymore." he said, his voice barely audible, each word dragging with the weight of a thousand regrets. "I don’t deserve to be remembered. Not by you. Not by anyone. I’ve become someone else, someone I never meant to be." 

His eyes drifted to the ground, and for a moment, he looked almost... defeated. "I hurt too many people, and in the end, I hurt you too."

Those words hung in the air like a star waiting to fall from the sky but they didn’t sting, nor did they cause you any pain. Instead, they felt like the closing of a door, the end of a chapter that had been written in too much pain. You felt your heart ache, but you understood. You had mourned it long ago and this was just the end. The final bow.

You understood because, deep down, you had always known this moment would come. You had always known that one day, Geto Suguru would fade from your life, not because of time or distance, but because he had made himself into something unrecognizable.

You stepped closer, closer than you had been in so many years, the distance between you two now defined not by physical space but by something more profound, something that time had created. Your hand reached out but you stopped. You had to. You knew you can't do this. You purse your lips into a flat line. 

“I see.” You whispered, barely audible over the deafening silence between you. It was as if the world had swallowed your words before they could reach him, and the weight of it all pressed down on your chest like a heavy fog.

"I'm sorry." you murmured, feeling the familiar sting of regret in your heart. 

But the words felt useless now, just as they always had when it came to him. Too many apologies, too many unanswered questions. It was all too late. Geto Suguru shook his head ever so slightly, his dark lilac eyes never leaving the distance beyond you, his voice low but firm. 

“Don’t apologize to me.” he murmured, the edges of his words soft but carrying a weight that made your heart ache. "I should apologize…"

His eyes finally met yours, and for that brief moment, you saw a flicker of vulnerability, something raw and unguarded that he had never allowed anyone to see.

“Buttercup, I’m letting your hand go.” he said, and his voice cracked on the last word, like it pained him to even say it.

You could feel the tears pricking at your eyes, threatening to spill, but you fought them back, the lump in your throat making it harder to breathe. It was too much. Too much to lose, too much to let go of. 

“I know.” you replied, your voice barely a whisper as if saying it out loud would make it all more real. The finality of his words clung to the air, and you wished you could take them back, take him back, but the truth had already been laid bare.

“Goodbye, buttercup.” he said, the words both tender and final, and they fell like a stone into the abyss between you.

“Good… good-bye, Suguru.” you managed to choke out, your voice shaking but steady enough to carry the weight of the moment. Your lips trembled, but you didn’t dare look away from him. There was nothing more to say, nothing more that could fix the pieces that had been shattered between you two.

Geto Suguru gave you one last look. It was so brief, so fleeting, like the last ray of light before the darkness settled in. His gaze lingered on you, a final connection between two souls that had once shared everything but now, they were a thousand miles apart. 

He didn’t say anything else. 

He didn’t look back, not once. 

He simply turned, his figure growing smaller and smaller as he walked away.

Your heart tightened, but you didn’t move. You couldn’t. There was no running after him anymore. He had already made his choice, and you had to respect that, even though it felt like a piece of you was being torn away with every step he took. 

His footsteps were quiet against the earth, a soft rhythm that carried him further into the distance, further away from you, from everything you had ever known. And you stood there, frozen, unable to move, unable to make sense of the emptiness that filled the space where his presence used to be. 

You watched him disappear into the horizon, the last connection between you both unraveling like a thread slipping through your fingers. But this time, you didn’t chase after him. You didn’t need to. You didn’t have the strength anymore. 

There were no more promises, no more hopes of reunion. This was the end of the story that had once been yours, the final chapter in a love that had burned so brightly but had faded into the past. The world had changed, and so had you.

You would never see him again. He would never hold your hand again, never smile that gentle smile that had always made you feel like you were home. And you could feel the weight of that truth pressing down on you, but it didn’t break you.

It was the end of that world. Of the two of you, of the way you had been, of everything that once felt like it was meant to be. And so, you let go. You let go, even as it hurt, even as it felt like the most impossible thing in the world.

You couldn’t love him anymore. Not like you used to. Not in the way that kept him a part of your every thought, every moment. You couldn’t carry that burden with you forever, and you couldn’t make him stay.

As he disappeared completely from sight, you finally exhaled the breath you’d been holding, a quiet sigh that seemed to carry away the remnants of him still lingering in your chest. It wasn’t easy. It would never be easy. But it was the only way forward.

You took a slow step back, your feet heavy with the weight of all the years you had spent loving him. You weren’t sure what the future held, but you knew one thing for certain. You had to let him, or you'll both suffer more.

[hannahbarberra162]

Victoria Punk Breeding Farm Part 2 (Dark, NON CON, Hybrid Kid Pirates x Reader)

18+ MDNI | on Ao3 | First Part

Hybrid Bull AU, NON CON, DARK

Reader x Kid, Killer, Heat & Wire

Happy birthday Killer!! For your birthday present you are not in this chapter :3

A continued thank you to - @don-mellow for your incredible Bullstass art that inspired me. Thank you to @gouraminnow and @quinloki for beta'ing this for me as I whined about it.

Wire POV

The little heifer was a touch more clever than most, Wire conceded as he watched you from afar. He’d been following you for about fifteen minutes as you attempted your escape. You hadn’t made it very far in terms of distance, taking your time to ensure you were undetected. Well, you thought you were undetected. You didn't know but the crew was still watching you in their den on CCTV and Wire was observing you downwind where you wouldn’t be able to smell him as easily.

You had quickly determined which direction you wanted to set off in, you probably saw the river when you came in that shitty van earlier in the day. Before heading north, you tried taking off the cowbell but found it was locked. Instead of holding the hammer with one hand to prevent it from making noise like some of the other cows had, you stuffed the bell with dirt and grass, which left both your hands free. It wasn’t that the other cows were stupid or anything, but they often let their nerves get the better of them and made foolish mistakes. You also tried rubbing dirt all over your body to dull your scent and the smell of Kid and Killer, another wise move. Kid had mentioned they weren’t your first or second farm and that you’d been sold off for bratty behavior so he wasn’t all that surprised to see you try to take off. In fact, it made his night. 

You were now carefully passing through an open field. If you had stopped to read the sign in the light of the moon, you might have noticed the warning to watch out for bulls in rut. But instead you passed right by, scurrying along in the dim light while trying to remain as quiet and unnoticed as possible. Wire had tracked you from the fence until you hit the middle of the field where there wasn’t any cover. Deciding he had enough chasing for the night, Wire got up from his own concealed position and walked straight towards you.

“Killer warned you little cow,” Wire taunted loudly, swishing his long tail as he spoke his first words to you. “You were told to stay in your pen and be a good little heifer, that running wouldn’t help ya. And now you’re about to find out why. You can come with me now and things can end the easy way or take your chances and things will end the fun way,” he continued, smiling widely. Wire loved this part of his job the most. Sure, he liked everything about working for Kid - the fucking, the fighting, the booze, his friends - but chasing down runaway cows was his favorite part of the job. His cock had been hard since Kid turned on the TV and now it was twitching in anticipation of your imminent capture. He really hoped you went the fun route. 

Your eyes were wide as you remained in your crouched position and Wire smelled fear wafting his direction. It only made his cock harder as he imagined you thinking through all your current options. He hoped you chose to run, it was always better that way. Telegraphing your plans, you braced yourself against the ground as Wire continued casually strolling towards you. He made sure he wasn’t all that close, maybe 50 or so feet away. It was enough for you to think that you had a chance to get away, that you might be able to outrun him. You wouldn’t, but you didn’t know that. You'd find out soon.

He stopped and let the gravity of the situation hit you. And just like Wire predicted, you bolted. His laugh resounded loudly through the empty field making you run even faster as he pulled the lariat off his belt. Wire made his loop and began swinging it overhead, laughing all the while.

Your POV

You stopped as you heard the bull speaking to you. You didn’t know how he’d found you so quickly, you had tried your best to conceal your path, your footprints and your scent. In the light of the moon he looked like a devil sent from hell to drag you back down. His horns were the longest you’d ever seen and they seemed to glow from within. He was wearing some kind of black flowing robe that accentuated his muscles as he walked leisurely towards you. He almost seemed indifferent to the fact that he was chasing you down but for his tail twitching with excitement. You remained frozen until the bull’s hearty laugh had you running as fast as your sore legs could carry you. 

You didn’t want to look back and determine if he was chasing you down as you ran through the open field. Any second that was spent not running would be wasted against a bull that size. You could only hear your blood rushing through your veins as you raced towards the forest at the far end of the clearing. If you made it there maybe you’d be able to lose him among the trees or at least you’d have a better chance than being in the wide open field. Your legs burned with exhaustion as your breath was coming in short spurts but you forced your body to continue onward. Just as you approached the tree line, you felt something tighten around your ankle. It was like you hit an invisible wall as you landed hard on the ground with a thud. You attempted to scramble up again but realized your ankle was caught in a lasso. Turning over onto your butt you tried to get the loop off your leg but it was being pulled tight by the now too close bull. He was practically dragging you to him with how taut he was pulling the rope.

“Looks like you want the fun way, hm? Fun for me anyways,” he drawled as you kept trying to get the rope off. You hadn’t realized how tall he was until he was looming over you, his incredible horns further accentuating your fear.

“D-don’t want ngh any kind of way,” you grunted, still trying to make your escape. The bull laughed again as he squatted down by your torso, the rest of the rope now coiled again in his hand. He pushed you onto your back, putting you at a disadvantage. You could still figure out something to escape if you thought quickly enough.

“Too bad,” he said with mock sympathy, reaching for you. You put up your hands to stop him from touching your body, the two of yours fitting into one of his own. “Never had a heifer assist in her own hogtie before,” he said with a laugh. He captured your wrists in his hand and sunk his knee into your hamstrings, forcing your calves in the air. Faster than your next breath, he’d tied your wrists together and bound them to your ankles. The speed and expertise with which he bound you told you this wasn’t his first rodeo. The ropes were tight and you were unable to dislodge them but they weren’t painful or cutting off your circulation. 

“Let me go!” you screamed, thrashing as much as you could. There was no sense in being quiet or sneaky anymore, your attempt had been discovered. 

“Nah,” he said, sitting down on the grass by you. He pulled you into his lap so that your cunt was inches from his face, your wrists and legs now dangling backwards over your head. One of his hands was on your inner thigh, easing your legs apart while the other was on your hip, keeping you steady. You felt like a crab that had been flipped over to reveal your soft underbelly. “Oh, looks like Kid was here already, yeah? Good thing for you,” he said, a thick finger suddenly stroking your wet slit. You knew you were wet from earlier but you hoped he couldn’t tell not all of it was old. Your body was responding to the bull even as you still wanted to get away.

“Yeah, you probably get off on hurting hybrids smaller than you. Making defenseless cows bleed and cry,” you hissed, unsuccessfully trying to close your legs. Your position, gravity, and his large hand were all working against you as you felt his hot breath on your thighs and bare cunt. You squirmed and tried to reposition yourself farther from his mouth. There had only been one time before where a bull had licked you there and you hadn’t enjoyed it at all. It felt wrong and weird and you’d kicked the bull in the face to get him away.  

“Nah, I’m not gonna hurt ‘cha. At least, not in ways you won’t like,” he said, his eyes no longer on your face but on your cunt. He removed his hand from your hip and used his index and middle finger to spread your pussy lips for his inspection.

“I d-don’t like th-this,” you stammered as he hiked you up further onto your back.

“You will. I watched ya moan and cream all over Kid’s cock earlier, I know what kind of cow you are,” he said in a low voice, his aquiline nose now grazing your folds. You shuddered and fisted your hands tightly, your fingernails digging into the skin of your palms. You tried to mentally prepare for what was coming but your nerves were already shot.

“Wh-hat kind of cow am I?” you asked, hoping the venom in your voice would convey self assurance that you didn’t feel.

“A nasty one. The kind of cow who wants nothing more than to be put in her place and bred by bulls until she cries. The kind of cow whose messy, sloppy pussy is telling me she’s glad she got run down and tied up. The kind of cow who’s going to come on the tongue of some bull she’s never met before over and over again. That kind of cow,” he said, his fingers spreading your lips even wider. You couldn’t see him but you were sure he wore a large grin. You kept your mouth shut as his warm, flat tongue licked you from your hole to the top of your clit. It didn’t hurt, like he said, but it felt foreign and strange. 

“Nice pussy you got,” he said, smacking your lips. If you opened your mouth you were going to squeak or scream so you ignored his stupid ass comment and kept your jaw clenched tight. “You can try to keep yourself quiet if you want, there’s no sound on the cams anyway,” he said offhandedly. You really wanted to know more about the cameras but didn’t take the bait to answer. 

It seemed like the bull took your silence as acceptance as he began licking your cunt like it was a lollipop. You tried to shake him off a few times but all it got you was a nip to your inner thigh before he turned his attention back to your pussy. He teased you by laving the point of his tongue against your clit repeatedly until your legs shook, alternating with dipping his tongue into your hole. You couldn’t imagine what his cock was like if just his tongue was delving so deeply into you. His head bobbed as he ate at you, your teeth grinding against each other to keep them clenched tight. You desperately wanted to grab his horns and pull him closer if only to end the torment that much sooner. 

“Still quiet, eh? Let’s see if we can get you to say somethin’” he said, picking his head up momentarily from your folds. He was taking your silence for what it was - a challenge. He changed the angle he was holding you, setting you against his bent legs. Now you were at a 45 degree angle as one of his arms wrapped around your torso to hold you securely. You didn’t know exactly what he was doing until you felt his fingertips prodding at your seeping cunt. 

“ Y’can take two,” he said, stuffing them into you slowly. You rocked your hips back at the intrusion but soon he was working the digits in and out of you with ease. The lewd squelching of your dripping cunt was making you flush even as you wanted to keen from his attention. You could take it, you thought, you’d be able to bear it without making noises. 

Until.

His mouth descended back to slurp you while his fingers curled on something deep within you. It was like an electric shock - not the bad kind you’d gotten at your previous farm - but like your whole body was a live wire. The bull’s fingers roamed until he found some spot within you and pressed on it. You didn’t mean to, you couldn’t help it, it just slipped out - you moaned.

“There’s my good little heifer,” the bull laughed as his fingers prodded and rubbed within you. “You tried real hard, kept it up a while,” he said, pushing at that special spot. The pressure was doing something unfamiliar to you, making you feel like you were wound too tight like something was going to burst in you.

“N-no, don’t - don’t do that,” you whined. You wanted to stretch your hands over your head but weren’t able to move them farther without opening yourself up to the bull more. 

“Or else what?” the bull taunted from between your legs. He worked you quickly into a fervor, licking and finger fucking you until your toes were curling. You would never admit it but he was right - you did enjoy the sensation of his mouth on your pussy, the strong muscle bringing you closer and closer to coming.

You figured you’d already broken your silent streak and you needed an outlet for the feeling rising within you. “ Oh my gods I’m guh-gonna cuh -” you moaned out, ready for your imminent climax. You were so close to coming over this bull’s face, you wanted to with every fiber in your being. All he had to do was keep going, keep licking and fingering you…but he stopped right before your precipice.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” you cried out, your frustration escaping as anger. You wanted to kick or stamp your feet but they were still bound to your ankles. It wouldn’t do well to provoke the bull who was giving you pleasure but it hadn’t stopped your hot temper before.

“Nah, you say my name when you come or you don’t come at all. Got it?” 

“Wh-what’s your na-name?” you asked, your knees trying to close around his head.

“Oh oops, didn’t tell ya. Wire,” he said with a shrug before leaning back down into you. He started again, his jaw working hard to lick at you like you were a delicious meal. His strong fingers prodded and stroked your sensitive spot and you were panting just moments later. 

“Good cows get to come, yeah? Say my name or I’ll ruin it for ya,” Wire demanded. You nodded, unable to string together a coherent thought as he pistoned his fingers in and out of you. Resuming his previous position, Wire licked his way from his fingers to suck your clit gently in his mouth. One moment of the pressure you came screaming his name into the night. He continued to suck softly as you rode his face as best you could, humping his fingers and nose. Finally you began to come down off your high, your chest heaving as Wire removed his fingers and licked them clean.

You were still panting as he untied your ankles from your wrists and you let your limbs splay outwards and your arms rest over your head. Wire was rubbing your ankles now that they were unbound, checking the ankle he’d yanked with nimble fingers. You didn’t give a shit what he did right now, you felt boneless and could see why some cows begged their bulls for such an act. Not that you would ever beg for anything from these assholes but you could see the appeal. 

“Your ankle’s fine,” he told you, setting your leg down more gently than you expected.

“Like you give a shit”, you snapped. You weren’t fooled, he just didn’t want their investment to be destroyed. Kid would probably take it out of his paycheck - or hide- if he seriously hurt you. Wire grunted but rolled you onto your stomach and pulled you to elbows and knees since your wrists were still bound.

“Nothing’s injured there either, asshole,” you hissed at him, unable to push yourself to your hands. Wire didn’t answer but you heard the sound of fabric swishing and a zipper being undone. Wire’s heavy cloak hit the ground as he threw it behind him. 

“H-hey, wait -” you said, trying to move your legs under you and get out of position. You were tired, sore, and didn’t want to be used by any other bulls. All you wanted to do was pass out and plan your next escape, not get fucked yet again.

“I don’t want - no, please -” you pleaded as Wire lined himself up, his fat tip pressing against your core. There was something metal on his cockhead pressing against you, making you arch your back up. You felt him pause momentarily but continue to move forward as a hand pressed on your lower back to lower it back into position.

“Won’t hurt, loosened you up first,” he grunted, holding up your slim tail in one huge hand as he eased his way inside. His left hand found its way to your horn, gripping it as he mounted you from behind. He was gentle with your horn, holding but not squeezing as he used it as leverage to insert himself into you slowly. Even though you’d been under Kid earlier in the day the stretch was still intense. You whined in your throat as he bottomed out in you. The feeling wasn’t unpleasant but still uncomfortable as your body struggled to accommodate his huge cock. 

Wire started a slow rhythm moving forward inch by inch and retreating just as slowly. Soon the discomfort was replaced by pleasure as he worked himself in and out of you.

“See? Doesn’t ngh hurt,” he murmured, now grabbing both of your horns and leaving your tail to swish by itself. He used the roughened pads of his fingers to rub where they sprouted from your head. It felt too good, too euphoric so you shook your head to get him off. Wire simply held on tighter and pointed your head forward as he fucked you faster, never stopping his movements. 

“Pussy’s so fuck tight, can’t believe this is your third farm. Can’t wait hah to breed this pussy full, have you dripping with my come shit from this nasty little slit,” Wire babbled to you, his pace increasing. It felt vulgar to have him holding you by the horns to fuck you like you were some lowly animal but you couldn’t deny it was turning you on just a little. Wire reached down and grabbed one of your dangling breasts, rolling your nipple between his fingers.

“G’na make milk for us, yeah? G’na be nnnn good little cow let us milk hah hah you? G’na have me suckin’ on these sweet titties, drinkin’ like a king while you come on my cock,” Wire started pulling on your nipple with his index and middle finger while the other fingers massaged your breast, like he was milking you already.

You could tell yourself a lot of things. You could tell yourself that you were overwhelmed, that you were tired and aching, that you were angry, upset, that you just wanted to go home. But as it stood Wire was rubbing your horn, pulling on your nipple and pounding you from behind with his pulsing cock and talking dirty into your ear. You couldn't keep it all together, you…-

You mooed. 

Wire paused for a moment then barked out a cruel laugh that had you ducking your head. “Is that so little cow? Fucked so good you moo for me? Kid's g’na be so fuckin’ mad it wasn't him that got it out of you first,” he snickered like this was something funny for him. Cows were known to moo when overstimulated but it had never happened to you before.

“Good little heifer, mooin’ on our first go. I wasn’t gonna shit hah let you come again but how can I refuse such a unggh sweet moo? Usually nnnh takes a few more ungh fuck shit g’na fuckin..’” Wire let go of your horn and reached under you to rub at your clit with three of his fingers. You clenched down hard on his cock as he brought your sensations to a crescendo. He was playing your body like an instrument, making you senseless with sensation as his pace increased faster and faster. He was pushing you rapidly towards another unwanted orgasm as pounded into you, his thighs slapping against your own as the coil in your stomach wound tighter until you could hardly bear it. You were moaning softly as you climbed higher in your pleasure but needing something to tip you over the edge.

Wire leaned down over you and bit your horn hard. Without warning the coil in you snapped as you came for him a second time, this time shrieking from the intensity. He rode you hard while you came pushing himself towards his own release. Finally you felt him shoot his come inside you, the hot white ropes splashing out of your overstuffed cunt. You collapsed onto your stomach as Wire pulled out, your bound arms trapped underneath your body. This time you didn’t open your eyes after your orgasm ended because there was nothing left of you. You had no more energy or fight, you couldn’t do anything but lay on the soft grass as the night wind chilled your skin. 

Wire rolled you to your side and untied your wrists, rubbing them like he had your ankles. You didn’t resist or try to escape, that would have to wait for another time. After untying you he rolled you onto your back and began kissing your sore tits. You began crying in earnest now, you couldn’t do another session with Wire, you just couldn’t -

“Alright, get off her. She’s done, I’m taking her back,” a blue haired bull said gruffly as Wire picked his head up from your body. The new bull scooped you up easily from the ground, your limbs dangling like a ragdoll from his strong arms. Wire grumbled but moved to a sitting position. What did they put in the water to make all the bulls here so large? 

“Only went one round Heat, I didn’t even get ta -”

“Your dick’s not gonna fall off, you can have ‘er later,” the blue haired bull said dismissively, already turning back towards the barn. He was strange looking and had been branded all over his face and arms but you didn’t even bother staring as you sagged in his arms. Sighing, he grabbed Wire’s cloak off the ground from where he threw it and wrapped it over you before resuming walking. Now you had to straighten up again - the last time that you let your guard down you’d ended up over Killer’s lap with his fingers up your ass. The new bull glanced down at you and grunted.

“Yer alright, nothing else’s gonna happen tonight,” he said quietly. You didn’t reply, not trusting his word. He shifted you in his arms so your head was resting against his shoulder as he carried you back to the lit barn. You let yourself rest just for the moment, it wasn't like you'd be doing anything in the next few minutes anyway. The walk was shorter than you remembered and soon he undid the simple gate lock and entered the warm, cosy barn. Entering your stall, he sat down on the same large chair Killer had before. You tried to get out of his hold but he easily kept you on his lap as he clipped your collar back to your line. Frowning, he turned your bell over and saw the debris you’d put there earlier.

“Smart,” he remarked, digging out the dirt and leaves. Once he was done the hammer could hit the bell once again, leaving you exactly where you started. Well, not exactly. You were exhausted, had more bruises and aches and now had Wire’s come dripping down your legs. Tears beaded on your lash line as you waited for whatever else Heat was going to do to you. You couldn’t take much more, at least not tonight. Heat pulled you close to his chest and sat with you in silence. 

It was wrong on so many levels but Heat was warm, calm, and smelled faintly of peppermint. You buried your head into his chest under Wire’s robe and avoided his gaze as he sat with you on his lap, stroking your skin gently. He didn’t say anything as an errant sniffle turned into a sob which turned into a long cry. Heat held you as you bawled, snot and tears running down your face in equal measure. You were crying for your family, for your freedom, for your future, for anything and everything. No other farm had ever made you feel a loss of control like this one and you didn’t know what your next steps would be. Through it all Heat held you and stroked your flank as you cried into his chest, rubbing your face on his healed wounds. Eventually your cries petered out and turned into hiccups as you calmed yourself down. Heat moved you off his chest and took a look at your red face, brushing some of your tears away with his thumb.

“You can be strong and resist again tomorrow, little cow. We’ll like you just the same,” Heat said as he stood up and placed you on your cot. You laid down obediently and he  covered you with the heavy wool blanket. 

“Good night, little cow,” he said, turning off the lights overhead. You were asleep before he’d left the barn.

Taglist: @mfreedomstuff

[clonerightsagenda]

To celebrate space archives getting published I might as well post an abandoned short story from 3 years ago that deals with a lot of the same themes in a more concentrated way. This is my toxic yuri for 2025. Enjoy and see if you can remember the post I made about it back in 2022.

This Story Was Made Possible By Viewers Like You

I never liked confession cams.

You know, someone sits in a soundproof room with just the cameras and talks all teary-eyed about how they’ve struggled, and how they really feel, now that no one can hear. But of course someone can hear. You can. You’re there, in the room with them, a few months in the future and a hundred miles away. It’s all a performance. Everything is.  

I’m not doing that, ok? This is for me.

They came to the house with bags full of clothing and artificial smiles. They came with extra toothbrushes and half-constructed plans. They came with high hopes and already dented dreams.

I came with nothing. I was already there.

It started the same as always. They jumped when I greeted them and then stole glances at each other’s reactions. No one said anything back. I didn’t expect them to. I’d been getting everything ready. Twenty bedrooms, names on the doors. Lights on, temperature tweaked up there, down here, never quite comfortable. I’m very good at that part of my job.

That first arrival scene goes through a lot of editing. Cut out the boring bits, highlight the quirks that make contestants stand out. The details we highlight set the audience’s perception of each player. Create heroes, villains, characters. No one on these shows presents themselves as they really are. You get the construct.

Me? I get a little bit more.

Let’s skip the boring parts. They milled around for a while before finding their rooms. Most unpacked their clothes. One placed a photograph on her dressing table, angling it so it would be in easy view of the camera. A bid for sympathy, I figured, but my opinion wasn’t the one that mattered.

The files would have told me that her name was Gloria Martina Sosa, contestant ID seventeen, age twenty-nine, pronouns she/her. Employed in finance and competing because her mother needed to pay for a medical procedure. The files would tell me that, but I already knew.

This time, there was a container of chocolates on the table when Gloria inched down the hallway to the dining area. She was good at finding her way around the floorplan already, even though it was designed to send them circling in the wrong direction and bumping into each other. I wondered if they noticed.

She approached the chocolates cautiously. She knew it had to be a test. I knew she liked chocolate.

“Can –” She paused before old-fashioned manners asserted themselves. “May I have one?”

“Yes,” I said.

She slid her hand in. Then she hesitated again, fingers still reaching. “Would you like one?”

I checked to see if someone else had entered the room. Nothing on the visuals from any of the dining room cameras. She was the only one there.

She was talking to me.

“No,” I said, after an obvious pause. Then, because of the manners, “No thank you.”

Her fingers curled around a chocolate. “That was stupid of me.”

I didn’t need to answer that, so instead I thought about her motives. I couldn’t show favoritism; she should know that. Did she want to look empathetic for the audience? She wouldn’t win any points cozying up to me.

Maybe she meant it as a genuine kindness. It was early enough that she might not know better.

“Do you ever wish you could eat?” she asked. The chocolate was in her mouth, but her fingers folded and refolded the square of foil.

Why was she still talking to me? I couldn’t tell her it was against the rules – it wasn’t, officially. So I said, “This won’t make good television.”

Her eyes widened. She was thinking of all the time she’d wasted here, the time her competitors might have been using to build alliances or look for clues. She yanked the container of chocolates off the table and ran back toward the hallway. She’d use them as an offering, maybe, or a bargaining chip. She didn’t say thank you, or goodbye.

Why would she? I’m not a player. I’m the host.

#

I know how this sounds, so let me set the record straight. I’m not an artificial intelligence. People love to claim they’ve invented a thinking machine, but when you drill down to the bones of one you’ll always find an algorithm. Sure, this place runs on all sorts of automation, but at the end of the day, you need a human to come up with a wicked twist or make sure the tracking software doesn’t mix up Mateo and Benjamin because there was a mishap in the laundry room and they’re wearing each other’s clothes. AI doesn’t have the flexibility a project like this demands. I don’t think it ever will. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking, since if it happens, I’ll be out of a job. It’s not a great job (I’m making minimum wage here) but I don’t have to pay rent or buy groceries, so the money adds up.

There used to be a whole team – six-hour shifts, front-end and back-end crews – but budget cuts hit everywhere. It gets quiet sometimes, but at least I don’t have to make a big production of hiding when I’m going to the bathroom with a tampon. I do the best I can, drink a lot of coffee, and chalk any delays or mistakes up to a buggy operating system. There are surgeries you can get to keep you sharper – some employers insist on them – but I wouldn’t let anyone stick neurotech in my brain even if I could afford it. Too many horror stories. It’s easy to keep them thinking I’m a machine. I slap a voice filter on, and my disinterest in everyone’s drama means I don’t have to fake sounding inhumanly bored.

But enough about the woman behind the curtain. That’s not what anyone tunes in for.

#

About half the guests roamed the halls after dark the first night, which meant prowlers skulking around corners and smacking into each other. I downed two energy drinks and kept an eye out for the most entertaining close calls so I could cut them together later. On other nights I’d feel safe sneaking some sleep, but the first was always busy.

Gloria stayed in her room. Instead of climbing into bed right away, she knelt and whispered something in Spanish. The translation software would handle that for anyone who wanted to know what she was praying for. I could guess.

When she finished, she looked up. They’re never sure where to focus when they talk to me. I’ve learned to read that lost expression as a sign I’m about to be on call. “If I need something, do I just ask?”

“That’s correct.” When she didn’t say anything else, I continued, “Did you need something?”

“Not right now.” Not from me.

#

The next few weeks passed the usual way. Dean found an immunity stone hidden behind the false back of the pantry. Three different groups swore ill-fated alliances while pretending to be preoccupied with their laundry. The first contestants were voted off, mostly because of dismal challenge performances and in one case because Heather kept stealing other people’s toothpaste. (Luckily for me, I didn’t have to listen to them moping about being eliminated. The losers’ quarters had cameras, of course – everywhere does – but none of those feeds went to my workstation.)

Most of the time the participants treated me as so much background, but there are always exceptions. One afternoon Haruto and Farah were arguing about an inane piece of early twenty-first century pop culture trivia and wanted me to tell them who was right, and Anna was asking about the latest sports scores, and one of the microphones in the dining room wouldn’t connect right even though I’d run troubleshooting, and –

“Is Corey busy?”

I pressed the intercom button for Gloria’s room and said, “One moment, please.” Then I switched channels (click). “The home team won their last game 4 to 1.” Click. “Yes, it was the same actor; they used CGI to make him look younger.” Click. “Sorry for the delay.” I punched in Corey’s ID to pull up the last place the cameras had seen him. “A lot of guests are requesting my services right now.”

I don’t know what did it. Maybe a hint of exasperation crept into my tone, or the keystrokes filtered through the speakers, or a real sentient computer program wouldn’t apologize. Whatever tipped her off, Gloria’s eyebrows pulled down. It wasn’t an expression of surprise as much as it said, ‘I knew it’.  

“You’re not an AI,” she said. “Are you.”

Damn. I could have lied. The producers would’ve wanted me to, but they left me there to play the game however I chose. Besides, I’d already paused too long. A machine wouldn’t have to think about it.

“A lot of the answers are. There’s a library of canned responses for the most predictable questions. I’m here for the more complicated problems.”

“Here?” She spun her eyes around the room like I might pop out of a closet.

“On site. Behind the scenes.”

“But you can see and hear me?” She hunched in on herself. “I don’t like that.”

“You signed up to be on a TV show.”

“That’s different.”

Because I wasn’t an adoring fan. “Did you want an answer to your question?”

“You can see him too?” She was hung up on that considering the position she put herself in. The contracts they signed asked them to give away all sorts of control.

“I can see everyone. I’m not watching all the time, though. That’s part of the automation. I get notified when there’s activity that might be interesting.” I checked the relevant screen, which showed me the feed from camera 251. “He’s brushing his teeth.”

“Is that interesting?”

“Not according to the system.” Showering would be, because the system’s a pervert. So are the folks back home, although the editors make sure to frame things just right so that we can deny we’re showing anything explicit.

She sighed. She kept her head angled toward the floor, like denying the cameras eye contact preserved some sliver of her privacy. “I guess I can’t opt out.”

“Not until you go home. You could try to be less interesting, but it’ll cost you.” That strayed dangerously close to advice. “I’ll delete this conversation, though. Have to preserve my image.”

That got her head to pop up. “You can do that?”

I wiggled my fingers over the keyboard, a pointless gesture since she couldn’t see me. “As long as you’re in this building, I’m basically God.”

“God.” Her lip curled. I’d seen her praying earlier. Maybe my boast sounded like blasphemy. “What’s your name?”

“I can’t tell you. I’ve got rules. Sorry,” I added, repeating that human touch that betrayed me.

“I don’t know why I asked.” She looked away from the camera again. “Don’t watch me sleep.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She was pretty. But watching a pretty woman over the cameras isn’t automatically creepy. If it is, what does that say about you?

I tried to keep my word. Gloria wanted to believe she still had boundaries, and unlike our loyal viewers, I don’t get my kicks spying on people. Every so often, though, my eyes crept back to her square on my monitor. I knew so much about these people, and she was the only one who knew I existed. That knowledge was like a blinking notification that never went away.

#

I didn’t expect Gloria to talk to me again, and for a few days she didn’t. She sat in silence while I announced the day’s events or when other participants asked me questions, a frown mostly smoothed off her face. I saw it, though. That’s what she was frowning about.

Four days after our conversation, she was tearing her room apart looking for something. It’d been twenty minutes, and she wasn’t going to find it. I was waiting for her to figure that out. She groaned, tilted her head up, and asked, “Do you know where my charger is?”

“Under the sofa in the living room.”

She jumped. “That was fast.”

“Pretty good AI impression, right?” I hadn’t been watching her sleep, but I’d been paying attention. So sue me. If she decided to spill my secret, I’d have to… well, I didn’t know. It had never happened before.

“Is anyone else there right now?”

“Haruto and Farah.” Still arguing, somehow. Getting worked up about each other’s vintage cinema opinions was their version of entertainment.

She sighed and sat on the side of her bed. “I don’t want to get sucked into whether we need any more live action remakes. Can you tell me when they leave?”

“Sure.” Informal. I was slipping.

She drummed her ankles against the floor and then, with a huff, hopped up again and began straightening the mess she made. She wasn’t a woman who liked to be still. I wasn’t surprised when she broke the silence. “Does anyone else know?”

“If they’ve guessed, they haven’t said anything. This isn’t a test, or one of the puzzles you’re supposed to solve. You weren’t supposed to notice.”

She slammed a drawer. “Do you like spying on people?”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” She snorted. “It’s a job. A boring one, most of the time. Alerts tell me when any of you do something relevant, and then I cut the best footage together and send it back to the real editors. I’m not watching you every second. Who would want to?”

That got her to stop folding a shirt and look up at camera 387 so I’d be sure to see the disgusted expression on her face. “The fans?”

Fair point. “I forget about them sometimes.”

“I doubt your bosses would be happy to hear that.” She moved on to stuffing toiletries back into her bag, but her movements were less ferocious. “How did you end up working here?”

“I worked as set crew on a few smaller projects. I didn’t get training for it, but I’m good at picking up just enough to make myself useful.” That’s what kept me around through round after round of layoffs. I learned the bare bones of other people’s jobs, and upper management decided bare bones was enough. That kind of approach doesn’t make friends in the workplace, but neither does getting fired. And hey, it worked out that I’m not a team player. The only one on my team now is me.

“Do you like reality TV?”

“Hell no.” I couldn’t believe anyone would put up with the genre without getting paid for it. “But a job’s a job. Did you always dream about starring in something like this?”

She paused, clutching a bottle of perfume. “Not like this.” She took a bracing whiff – the label said orange vanilla, but smell is one thing I can’t piggyback on. “You’ll delete this?”

The start of our conversation was already flagged. “Speak freely.”

“I liked the romantic ones when I was younger. The fairy tale element; I read a lot of fairy tales growing up. Later I realized how artificial they were, but you keep hoping.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I told you that.”

Neither could I. Then again, they were encouraged to bare their souls for the cameras. It must be a hard habit to break. “Given the data I’ve collected, I think Anna is your one true love.”

Instead of laughing, she shoved the perfume into her bag. “I’m not here for that.”

“I know.”

She zipped up the bag, stood, and looked right at the camera, hands on hips. It was the closest I’d come to eye contact with someone in months. “How much do you know about me?”

“Mostly what’s in your files.” I reread them after she caught me. I had her entire application packet, every official scrap of information the network collected.

“And I don’t know anything about you.”

“You know I don’t like reality TV.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

She shot the question at me, and I responded reflexively. “Blue. At least it is now. I don’t see the sky much on this job.”

“Blue.” She digested that and looked past the cameras, up to the ceiling and the sky beyond that she’d only see through windows until the game was over. “I miss it too.”

“Now you know one thing about me. Happy?”

“Can I ask more, later?” She sucked her lower lip between her teeth; I think the question surprised her as much as it did me. “I don’t like being watched by a stranger. I can’t stop you watching, but I can stop you from being such a stranger.” A crafty spark entered her eyes. “You are here to answer our questions. That’s what they told us in orientation.”

They did tell them that. “I’ll do what I can,” I said. “But be careful. I don’t want everyone in the house asking me for my biography.”

#

Gloria was the one on camera, but she was the one who forgot herself. She was standing in the kitchen running a plate under the water when she looked toward a camera and asked, “What do you eat?”

“Uh,” said Benjamin, waiting for his turn at the sink. “Are you talking to me?”

“Based on existing data, Benjamin enjoys soy-based products and fresh fruit,” I said in my best automaton voice.

At least she caught on quick. “Thank you,” she said, and went back to rinsing pasta sauce off her dishes.

After she retreated to her room, she said, “I’m guessing I’m not supposed to socialize with you.”

“There aren’t any rules against it,” I said, which wasn’t a no, and then followed it up with, “It’s not the most strategic use of your time,” which wasn’t a yes.

“I need a break from everything out there sometimes. At least I know what you’re lying about.”

Safer not to comment on that one. Besides, she was still going.

“Mateo is always trying to make sure the cameras get his good side; you know he’s here to make a name for himself. And Anna keeps talking about how she wants to buy her own automated mansion, like she can’t imagine going back to having to manually turn on the lights. They’re so trivial. It makes me want to toss them out a window and tell them to come back when they have something serious to compete for.”

I didn’t comment on that either, but I could’ve. The truth was, at least half the participants needed the money for reasons beyond popularity contests or tech upgrades. It didn’t matter. If I told her, she wouldn’t think they deserved it as much as she did. Even without the files, I could have read her life story in her unblemished skin and name brand outfits. She’d never sweated through record-breaking summers because during surge periods companies always cut off the poorest neighborhoods first. She wrinkled her nose at the cricket flour crackers in the pantry like someone who had the luxury to leave food on her plate. She had no idea how many people watched her and wished they could take her place – not for a chance at a cash prize or fifteen minutes of fame, but just to have a safe place to sleep and enough to eat. When people watch shows like this, it’s not about rooting for an individual, not really. It’s about constructing elaborate narratives about themselves. Wanting participants, wanting to be them: there’s not much of a difference in the end. They’re all different flavors of consumption. Some players catch on faster and embrace being the product.

But Gloria was used to being on the other side of the equation. She’d been comfortable her whole life, and this medical bill was the first time she hadn’t had enough to make the world work the way she wanted. So she came running here for a fairy tale ending, because of course she was entitled to that along with everything else.

You’d think people like me who’ve been struggling their whole lives would fight hardest, but people like that? They get vicious.

Instead I said, “So you’re saying it’s nice to talk to me.”

“It’s a change.”

I minimized camera 16’s window where Richard and Destiny are gearing up to either start a fight or swap spit. Hard to tell with those two. “What do you want to talk about?”

“What do you think of us? You watch us all day.”

“Not all day, I told you. Honestly it’s – did you ever work customer service?” Her eyebrows jumped. I could’ve guessed that too. “Well, in that kind of job, you don’t pay much attention to individuals. You’re all one big crowd. Of course, you’re also my only live entertainment. Could you do anything more interesting?”

“Any suggestions?”

“Steal Corey’s watch.”  

She laughed. Corey told everyone who would listen how expensive his custom-made timepiece was. His audience hung on to every word, although they were mostly hanging on to his cheekbones. “That won’t get me any votes.”

“I’d vote for you.”

“You mean you’re not charmed by him?”

“Not my type.”

“Not mine either.”

I know, I thought, but I didn’t say it. She didn’t like to be reminded.

#

Gloria didn’t steal Corey’s watch. The next time he made a production of giving someone the time she looked right at the nearest camera, and I almost choked on my protein bar laughing.

After she left that conversation, she slipped into her room and leaned against the door. “You always delete the video when I’m talking to you, right?”

“It wouldn’t do me any good to send it on.”

Her shoulders loosened. It was surprising, and a little gratifying, that my presence now made her relax. “In the real world, you’re pressured to be doing something useful with every second of your life. In here, every second you’re performing for the cameras. It’s nice to be able to stop.”

I covered a yawn with one hand and reached for my coffee. “At least you get regular rest periods. I can’t give you details, but some people were keeping me up last night.”

She frowned. “Would you rather I let you go?”

The frown was also gratifying. “No, there’s enough I need to monitor right now anyway. Just keep your activities within regular business hours. That’ll make you a model participant in my book.”

“I’ll try.” She settled onto her bed and stretched her arms over her head, bending back the wrists. Then she asked, abruptly, “Do you have a favorite guest?”

“I’m not supposed to pick favorites. I won’t name names, but my least favorite is someone who starts whistling when they’re trying to concentrate. I always get the tune stuck in my head.”

“I’d hate that too.” She dropped her arms down and rested her hands in her lap. “It doesn’t seem fair. You get to see all of us, and I don’t get to see you.”

“It’s for the best that you can’t.” I shifted in my chair where I was sitting cross-legged in sweatpants I’d been wearing for three days straight. “I don’t have to be presentable to anyone back here. My hair’s a mess.”

She shrugged. “It would be nice to see any new face. Can you tell me what you look like?”

“Better not.” There weren’t any rules against that either – no one would’ve thought we needed them. But I wasn’t there to be looked at. “Just… imagine me. Whatever you’d like.”

She thought for a moment and then said, “You look nice.”

“Thank you.”

#

For the next month, I watched from my hundreds of cameras and listened through my hundreds of microphones. I scoured test banks for trivia questions and rearranged the responsive floor plan to build obstacle courses. I beamed everything back to our viewers, and the network compiled data to send back. Their demands were predictable. So-and-so is popular; be sure to get close-ups. Contestants X and Y don’t get along. Trap them in a room together with a malfunctioning door. Sometimes the instructions were specific, but often they just told me what the audience wanted. By now, I knew how to get it.

While I did that, I watched Gloria. She was average, as these things go. She lasted longer than half the participants in a challenge where I cranked the temperature lower and lower. Then she flopped when asked to identify the fake headline in a social media feed. She nodded to cameras with a half-smile, and although she could be doing it for the viewers, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was doing it for me.

She stayed kinder than I expected, even as everyone dropped the niceties and the game turned into a bloodbath of votes and eliminations. I’m not usually wrong reading people. I have so much to go on.

She kept talking to me late at night. Participants are promised some privacy in their bunks. (If they read their contracts line by line they know better. Viewers get very interested whenever a player invites someone else in. That was happening in two locations, so it was easy to cover up my own indiscretions.)

“Do you know what’s happening back home?

“Only what the network sends me.” I didn’t miss it. Participants signed up for fame or money, but escape would work as well. At least locked in this house, the problems weren’t real. You knew the challenges were fake, and everyone went to bed with a full stomach at the end of the day. It’s not a bad gig, really.

“I don’t know how my mother’s doing.” She was staring at the ceiling instead of making virtual eye contact with me. “Sometimes I’m afraid I won’t get back in time. It feels like it’s been longer than a few weeks.”

She didn’t seem to be waiting for a response. They were encouraged to think out loud for the cameras.

#

Nine weeks into this round of the game, she was in trouble. We didn’t talk about it. I was supposed to be her refuge from all that. Ridiculous, if you think about it, but we all have our illusions. She didn’t have access to viewer opinion polls or other players’ confessions, but I could tell from the way she held herself that she knew. If she didn’t win this week’s challenge, she was gone.

That shouldn’t have bothered me. I don’t pick favorites. Players come and go and nothing changes. Except…

I used to talk to my coworkers’ empty chairs to hear my own voice. I erased crosswords and started them again. The job without Gloria would be… boring. I didn’t want to look across all my monitors and not see her there.

I’ve never related to the viewers who root for their favorite contestant. This was different. They’re behind a screen watching the edited version of a woman from miles away, a woman who doesn’t even know they exist. I knew her. She knew me.

She didn’t ask for my help. I’d like to imagine she respected my integrity or didn’t want to risk my job, but I saw the way she threw herself into trying to shore up shaky alliances, too little too late. She’d rather rely on herself. I might be the all-seeing eye and the voice in her ear when she went to sleep, but when it comes to playing the game, no one pays attention to the help.

My inbox dinged. The network was responding to my latest batch of video. I skimmed through it: suggestions for contrived scenarios to start people fighting, instructions to let the showers break down, standard stuff. Then, at the end: We need new topics for this week’s trivia challenge. Any ideas?

The challenges got repetitive after a while. Production was always looking for suggestions. I opened a reply, started typing, and then paused.

I could help. No one would know. Gloria would be here, with me, for another week.

It wouldn’t be my first case of workplace dishonesty. I’d fibbed on timesheets and extended my breaks like everyone has. I’d kept my mouth shut and let coworkers take the fall for my mistakes. This was interference with the outcome of the show, though. I could get fired.

Who was going to catch me? Me?

I typed, What about fairy tales?

#

Gloria was exultant. She won the trivia challenge, securing her place for the week and spurring a nasty double cross in an alliance that had been planning on forcing her out. She paced back and forth in her room, rehashing her triumph. I responded with customer service hmms. It didn’t occur to her that I might be behind the convenient choice of topics. Which was fine. If she realized, she might let it slip, or expect more favors, and I’d risked enough already. It was fine that I was everywhere controlling everything and she still acted like she had no idea. People like her are the same everywhere. They assume the world runs itself.

“If I win next week’s challenge and Richard and Destiny stay on bad terms, I have a chance,” she said. “I could win.”

I didn’t say much in response. Maybe she thought I was being careful not to spill any show secrets, or maybe to her I was just another audience member witnessing her triumph. I’d had so much time to watch and still had trouble reading her.

I’m not omniscient, is the point. I never had the power to read her mind or control her or even save her in the end. I was only ever buying time.

I’d built a habit of letting emails pile up and answering them when I felt like it, but now I never closed my inbox. I took my phone with me on bathroom breaks or rare trips outside. Of course, if the network found out what I’d done, they might not bother with professional communication. They might send a crew in with no notice to throw me out on my ass.

That dampened my enthusiasm as Gloria dreamed of making the final three. Household malfunctions rose. I got jumpy. Anna asked me a question, and I froze, because for a moment I thought I’d been caught. A spam email snuck through my filter, and I spilled my energy drink all over the keyboard when I heard the notification. I wanted to scream through the intercoms, Don’t you know what I can do? What I’ve already done? You don’t even know that I’m here.

Instead I turned the heat up two degrees and reassured Anna that she’d buttoned up her dress correctly.  

#

In the end, I didn’t get caught. The shutdown order came for different reasons. Mateo, a fan favorite, had settled into a committed relationship. The move wasn’t popular with viewers. They liked him as a heartbreaker with someone else in his bunk every night. I don’t get the appeal, but ratings are ratings.

End the game, wipe their memories, and start over, the message said, with a list of new parameters to try. Just like the last four times I got this email. Neurotech sure has expanded the boundaries of reality programming.

Like I said, I’ve got horror stories.

I flicked through the changes. The bulk were new living arrangements and challenges tailored to different participants’ skills. The true appeal was more pathos for viewers to sigh over, as former lovers betrayed each other and friends met again as strangers. They eat it up so much I wonder if the game will ever end.

Maybe I should be happy about that. It’s job security.

I could see Gloria out of camera 43. She was selecting a meal packet and humming to herself. I wanted to warn her, to say that every time before this she’d become someone shut off or brittle or cruel, and that I liked her better this way. I wanted to tell her it’d been thirteen months since she saw her mother, not two. I wanted to ask if she had any idea. But I signed a contract too.

Instead I waited until after lights out and said, “Let me show you something.”

Gloria trusted me enough by now that she waited until I’d directed her to a blank stretch of wall to ask, “Why did you bring me here?”

“If you compare the interior to the outside of the house, this can’t be an exterior wall. There’s too much space. You didn’t notice?”

“I didn’t.”

She did in three of the other versions. Gloria had rarely been a model participant. She’d explored more, discovered more, when she wasn’t talking to me. “When people do, I tell them it’s not part of the game. It’s where we keep some of the machinery used to run the facilities.”

“What’s really on the other side?”

“Me.”

She started at that, looking from the camera to the wall and back again, like she assumed I lived in the fiber optics. “You’re there?”

“In my own set of apartments. It’s roomy now that I’m the only one. There’s a side door, so I even get a little sun sometimes. There’s a lot of machinery back here with me, though. We try not to lie when we can tell part of the truth. Makes it easier to keep track of everything.”

She reached out and presses her hand to the chipped paint of the wall. “You were always right here.”

“Hang on, I’m at a different terminal.” I hopped out of my chair and squeezed myself between my desk and the one that used to belong to Paulo before the last round of cutbacks. “Now I’m right there.” I was simplifying things, of course. There was at least a foot of wires and paneling between us, but it was still the closest we’d ever been. I reached out to press my hand to the wall and imagined the touch of another human’s skin against my own.

This was my last chance to tell the truth. I could reveal everything, lead her to the emergency exit only I knew about, and invite her to run away with me to… what? We were both there because we needed something, and the world won’t give you anything for free. In this house, blasphemy or not, I was basically God. I could steer her away from danger. I could construct a narrative. Outside, I couldn’t create a happy ending for either of us.

From what I knew of Gloria Martina Sosa, the many possible Gloria Martina Sosas who had walked under this roof, she would hate me for keeping this from her.

It was a good thing she didn’t know me at all.

“Why did you decide to tell me now?” she asked.

There were a lot of things I could have said. Because this version of you dies tomorrow. Because there are bigger rules I won’t break, and I want to believe I’m a person who would break some of them, for you. Because I’m saying goodbye, and you don’t even know it.

“Because we’re getting close to the end now,” I said. “You’ll be too busy soon to think about me.”

“It’s hard to not think about you when you’re watching all the time. Especially now that I know exactly where you are.” She ran her fingers across the paint before pulling away. “Maybe when this is over I’ll be able to see you face to face.”

I couldn’t hesitate. If I hesitated, she might guess something is wrong, and my entire job relied on returning polished answers with mechanical precision. “That would be nice.” I was using my work voice, all business. “You should get back to bed before anyone wonders why you’re up.”

She smiled – at the wall rather than the camera. She might have been looking toward me, but that means she didn’t meet my eyes. “Are you worried about my beauty sleep?”

“Rest is important,” I said. “I’m not supposed to have favorites, but I’m rooting for you.”

Thanks to my instructions, she made it back without running into anyone, turning corners and ducking into rooms without a word of protest. Once I delivered her to her room, she dimmed the lights and slipped into bed to while away the last few hours this version of her would ever see.

I watched her fall asleep, and I didn’t say a word.

Maybe next time.

#

They were called in for a medical check-up the next morning. “Is this a challenge?” Gloria asked while getting dressed.

“No,” I said. “It’s perfectly normal.” The producers would be pleased. I’d never sounded less human.

#

Teardown procedure between rounds was always the same. I filled out the standard paperwork and finished packaging the last days of footage to be shipped back to the editors. My email inbox could be thinned out. I’d gotten practiced, and none of the tasks took long. Then it was just me, the empty house, and Gloria’s ghost roaming the silent halls.

If you look at it right, I’m doing her a favor. Outside the house, the monsters are so much worse than me. People want to be you, or have you, and they’ll eat you alive. People who grew up like me would understand. They might even ask me to do the same for them.

I don’t know why I’m bothering to justify myself. My job is to watch and record, not to editorialize. There’s no reason for me to sit down in front of the camera and say, My name is Cal, and there’s nothing I could have done. But I guess I’ve caught the narrative bug after watching everyone else spin out their stories, because here I am making my recording. Wishing there was someone on the other side of the screen to turn me into someone new.

I have no illusions that I would be an audience favorite. That’s never been my role.

An email with the finalized set-up for round six arrived in my inbox, and I scanned it so I’d be prepared. There will be no chocolates next time. Every round, the producers try something different. But I will say hello, and maybe this time she will say it back.

#

They come to the house with bags full of clothing and artificial smiles. They come with extra toothbrushes and half-constructed plans. They come with high hopes and already dented dreams.

I come with nothing. I was already here.

[ladykailitha]

Share With Me One Love, One Life Time Part 3

Hey, guys! We are moving right along with this story, and I think we're gonna hit 8 chapters if everything goes to plan. Fingers crossed!

So much happens in this chapter, like sooo so much it would take as long listing it as it would for you to just read it.

Enjoy!

Part 1 Part 2

~

Steve was on the walkie talkies as much as he could spare when they weren’t looking into the issue of Vecna, he didn’t want Eddie to feel like they’d forgotten him.

Nancy had gone to Wayne first thing in the morning.

“Mr. Munson?” she asked timidly. “I’m Nancy Wheeler.”

“Ah,” Wayne said dryly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back. “I don’t have my shot gun or you’d be facing its double barrel, I’m afraid. I know what you did to Steve, you and I aren’t gonna get cozy anytime soon.”

Nancy winced. “Yeah, I know. But I’m here about Eddie.” She inched forward, nervously picking at her fingernails.

Wayne glared at her and took a step back. “Dr. Owens has already been in touch and I’ve been forcibly removed from my home. They think this another Upside Down fuckery.”

“Yeah,” she said, looking at the ground. “Steve and Eddie sent me because if the police or anyone else are watching you, then it won’t link back to them. They’ll just see some nosy Parker hoping to get her first big scoop.”

Wayne licked his lips nice and slow. “I can see sense in that, I suppose. So my boy is safe?”

“Yes,” Nancy said quickly. “But with the cops thinking he did it, I don’t know how long that’s going to be true.”

“My boy didn’t do that,” Wayne growled. “He wouldn’t. He’s not in league with whatever is doing this and you best remember that.”

“I don’t think he had anything to do with it either,” she hastened to reply. “We know what people look and act like when they’re being controlled and he doesn’t display any of the symptoms.”

Wayne eyed her suspiciously and then nodded curtly. “What are you next moves?”

~

“No.”

Robin and Nancy looked at each other in shocked anger.

“Are you suggesting that we would need a big tough guy to go to a psychiatric hospital?” Robin sneered.

Wayne crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying. Because what happens if he attacks one of you before the orderly can get to him? Say oops, when he snaps one of your necks?”

Nancy started stammering and um’ing and ah’ing while Robin stared at him wide eyed and in shock. Steve pursed his lips and waved at Wayne, indicating he had a point.

“If you’re not going to listen to me,” he huffed, “maybe you’ll listen to him. Because honestly that’s only the worst case scenario, but the others aren’t much better. What happens if you get caught?”

“Well,” Nancy huffed as she scrambled for an answer, “I mean...it’s worked for us in the past.”

“You’re not going and that’s final,” Wayne growled. “I don’t care if that’s how you always do things before, you’re not doing them now. I get your lot is all that is standing between the end of the world, but we’re going to do things the smart way and not blunder into the right thing by accident.”

Steve smiled and relaxed. He still cared about Nancy and Robin was his best friend, the thought of them talking to that man without help sent shivers down his spine.

“So what’s going to happen is this,” Wayne continued, “Robin and Steve will keep an eye on Max and the other kids, while Nancy and I head to Pennhurst. Is that clear?”

Robin nodded, feeling relieved. She would have gone with Nancy if she was asked to, because someone needed to keep an eye on her. But with Wayne going with her, that was a load off everyone’s shoulders.

Nancy chewed on her lip, she didn’t want anyone to get in her way, and she had deliberately picked Robin because she knew the other girl would do as she said. But judging from the way Wayne was glaring at her, he had figured her out.

“Fine.”

~

“You can’t keep me here,” Max huffed, “in this basement that smells of sweaty boys and old socks.”

“Yes I can,” Steve snapped back. “I don’t want you running off where we can’t see you and have you up and die on us!”

“I’ll call my lawyer!” Max hissed. “So either you drive me or I start walking!”

Steve closed his eyes and then buried his head in hands. He didn’t want to do this. Billy didn’t deserve the letter she was going to read to him. He still had his in his back pocket and he had no intention of reading the thing because they were going to save her. They had to.

He yanked open the car door. “Everyone in!”

Lucas got in first and scooted to the middle as Robin and Max flanked him, Dustin having beaten them to the front seat.

~

They drove out to the cemetery and parked as close as he could to Billy’s grave. He rubbed his chin as he waited.

“If you don’t shut up,” he finally growled at Dustin, who was being a little shit, “I’ll knock out those brand new pearly whites of yours.”

“Whoa, whoa!” Dustin huffed, turning to face Steve with furrowed brows. “Too far!”

“Then you knock it off,” Steve snapped back. “I don’t know what has gotten into you lately, but holy hell the lack of respect coming from that side of the car is immense right now.”

Dustin rolled his eyes as Steve turned his attention back to Max. “That’s it, I’m calling.” He shoved the car door open and slammed it shut.

Lucas was out of the car in a flash. “She said to give her time.”

“I don’t care,” Steve huffed. “It’s been long enough.” He stalked across the cemetery lawn, passed the other tombstones.

He reached her and whirled her around, but gasped when he saw her eyes had gone milky white. “Shit!” He shook her shoulder. “Max! Max!”

Dustin, Lucas, and Robin all came dashing over.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Lucas screamed as Max started to rise into the air. He jumped on her to try and keep her on the ground, but she rose with him attached to her legs.

Steve pushed Dustin toward the car. “Get Wayne and Nancy on the walkie-talkie! We need to know what they found out now!”

Dustin scrambled to do as he was told. Lucas tumbled to the ground and let out a pained cried, Robin rushed to his side.

“Hey, you okay?” she murmured. He nodded, hold his arm. He rubbed it a moment and then stood back on his feet.

“Music!” Dustin screamed. “She needs music!”

Then it was Lucas scrambling for the car, he came back with headphones and a Walkman. He turned the music up as loud as he could. Steve and Robin both grabbed Max’s ankles and dragged her down. Lucas slapped the headphones on her head and turned it down so that they couldn’t hear the music anymore, but that it was still loud enough for Max to hear.

As soon the headphones where on she dropped the rest of the way into Lucas’s waiting arms.

A beat. Then another as they waited.

Max opened her eyes and everyone was sobbing in relief. Dustin immediately replied back to the waiting members of their Party. “She’s safe, she’s safe.”

~

“Steve,” Eddie breathed into the walkie-talkie, panic rising from the pit of his stomach. “Please come in. I’m in trouble.”

“This is Steve,” Steve murmured into his device. “What’s wrong?” The recombined Party stood outside the Creel house, looking for a way in.

“Jason and his goons are outside,” Eddie hissed back. “And they don’t look friendly.”

“Shit!” Steve replied. He turned to the rest of them. “We need someone who can drive to go and get Eddie, Jason is there at the boathouse and he’s trapped.”

“I’m on it!” Wayne said digging out his keys.

“Wait!” Nancy shouted, throwing up her hand to stop him. “Take my car! Your truck will be too recognizable!”

Wayne stared at her for a moment and then tossed her his keys. She tossed him hers. He yanked open the door to her station wagon and sped off.

They all kind of stood there for a moment taking in the absolute terror of Jason coming after Eddie, before Robin broke the silence. “So are we breaking into this joint or what?”

~

Eddie made it out onto the boat in the middle of the lake when Patrick, Jason, and Andy came after him. They were about three feet from shore when Wayne pulled up in Nancy’s station wagon. He popped open the glove box and rolled his eyes. Inside was a revolver, with a sigh he pulled out and checked the rounds.

Fully loaded.

“I might like her a little bit,” he muttered as he hopped out of the car and ran up to the water.

“You boys best not be doing what I think you’re doing,” he growled and cocked the gun, the sound loud and clear on the open water. “I’mma gonna give you to the count of five to turn around, nice and slow.”

Jason and Andy turned around as they were told, but Patrick had kept going and had gotten about halfway to Eddie when he started rising in the air.

“Shit!” Wayne hissed as the boys turned around and saw their friend plunge into the water as if by some unseen force. Which considering this Vecna son of a bitch, was more than accurate.

Andy and Jason ran back into the water and Wayne dived into the open door of Nancy’s station wagon and turned up the radio as loud as it could go.

But it was too late. Patrick shot out of the water again and his limbs twisted unnaturally; the sound of them snapping would haunt Wayne for the rest of his days. Eddie started screaming and he scrambled back in the boat in terror, but he went too far and fell into the water.

“God damn it!” Wayne cursed and ran out to the water, but before he could even get to the shore, Patrick dropped like a stone.

“Shit!’ he cursed again.

Jason started screaming about the devil and how he had come to Hawkins, while Andy actually dove into the water to get their slain friend.

“Cal’s gonna kick my ass for this,” he groused, then hauled off and smacked Jason hard across his face.

Jason stopped screaming , staring at Wayne in wide-eyed shock, holding his cheek.

“Do something useful and go into the house and call the cops,” he snarled, “while I help your friend here bring the body to shore.”

Jason hurried to do what he was told and Wayne waded out to the water to help Andy bring Patrick’s body in.

~

“Wayne...” Calvin Powell growled when he saw him sitting on the hood of Nancy’s car, picking at his nails.

“I’m gonna protect my boy,” Wayne said without looking up from his hands. “And those other boys were gonna kill him.”

Powell turned slowly to Jason and Andy who refused to look at him.

“Was that what you were going to do, boys?” he asked raising an eyebrow. “Or is Mr. Munson overreacting?”

Wayne snorted. “If they were planning on bringing him to justice then why didn’t they call police when there was talk of activity up here? Because that’s why I’m here. I heard the same god damn thing.”

Powell pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily.

“You boys are coming with me,” he said, resigned. “To give your statements about Patrick McKinney’s death to start and then we’ll see about the other thing.”

“I’ll give you my statement,” Wayne said dryly, “but you try to stop from trying to find my boy, you and I are gonna tangle, Cal.”

Powell opened his mouth to argue, but knew it was futile. “Fine.”

He looked over at Wayne and then frowned. “Where’s your truck, Wayne?”

Wayne hopped off the station wagon’s hood and patted it fondly. “Nancy Wheeler was wanting to write about the murder and my boy when I heard some of the neighbors talking about lights on up at the Lipton place. So I wanted to go see if it was Eddie and wouldn’t you know it the damn truck wouldn’t start so Nancy let me take her car.”

Powell nodded, but wisely said nothing. He let Wayne get into the car and drive off, before he turned to the other boys.

“We’re going to stay put until the coroner arrives,” he said pointing back and forth between Jason and Andy, “and then you are going to follow me to the station where you are going to tell me everything!”

~

Tag List: EIGHT SLOTS REMAINING

1- @itsall-taken @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @irregular-child @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @beelze-the-bubkiss @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @themoonagainstmers

9- @steddieislife @chaotic-waffle

[skyward-floored]

IAU requests you say? 👀👀👀👀👀👀

okay okay hmmmmm what about some bby Hyrule angst? as he's adjusting to living with the others? :3

- hero-of-the-wolf

@hero-of-the-wolf I hope you don’t mind I mixed these two asks together a bit to write this! I couldn’t resist the allure of a sickfic lol. This also fits with today’s febuwhump prompt, which is “holding back tears”, heh.

This takes place not long after Hyrule comes along, maybe a month or two. Little guy is still very much adjusting 😔

Warning for some throwing up, and some mentions of past child abuse.

————————————————————

It started with a twinge, a tiny ache.

Hyrule’s heart sank the moment he woke up and felt it, a little sting when he swallowed, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He hurriedly brushed it aside when Four gave him a curious look, and went downstairs for breakfast, trying to tell himself it was only his imagination. He was fine.

It got harder to ignore as the day went on though, the lump in his stomach turning to nausea, the sting in his throat a true ache. But Hyrule kept ignoring it, trying to act normal, making sure he did anything that was asked of him without any complaint. He did the bit of handwriting Malon had started him on, helped sweep the floor, healed Wind’s scraped knee when he came to him crying, and despite the shake in his legs and the buzz in his head that only got worse, he kept it up.

Being sick made things harder, but Hyrule knew complaining only made it worse. Somewhere in his head he knew his new family wasn’t like any of his old caretakers, wouldn’t scream at him for slowing down or healing less intensely than normal, but Hyrule had still only been with them a little while now.

Who was to say what they thought about being sick? He couldn’t be useful if he was sick. What if they kicked him out when they realized?

Hyrule’s heart skipped a beat. No. It was safer to hide it. Even if they didn’t kick him out, whining about a little dizziness and nausea would only be an annoyance. He would just ignore it, and wait for it to go away like he always did.

Or, that was the plan, anyway.

Hyrule had forced himself to eat dinner that night, knowing Malon and Time didn’t like it when he left food on his plate. His stomach felt way worse after he finished, but he ignored it, and managed to get through the rest of the evening without any incidents. He got ready for bed promptly, avoided Twilight’s nose that seemed to sniff out everything, dodged Wild and Legend who were wrestling in the bathroom, and finally curled up in bed with a sigh. He felt better lying down at least.

He lightly dozed until Malon came in to tuck Wind and Four in bed, and he watched her quietly as she read them a story, then settled them in bed. Would Malon really be mad if he was sick? She was always so nice, and when he’d still had his cough from the fire, she hadn’t been annoyed then.

But...

“You worthless brat!”

Hyrule sighed and lowered his head as his stomach rolled. He didn’t know.

Time came in and said goodnight to them all before leaving again, busy with something with work, and Malon came over to Hyrule, having finished with Wind and Four. She tucked him in and kissed his head, but then she hesitated a moment when she drew back, looking at him with a slight squint.

“Is everything okay, hon?” she asked. Hyrule’s stomach seemed to churn more sharply at the question, but he quickly nodded, trying his best to look healthy.

Malon still looked a little suspicious, her brows furrowed, but she nodded in turn and stood up.

“Okay, if you’re sure. Goodnight sweetie,” she said, and Hyrule said goodnight back to her, curling up as she left the room and trying to ignore his stomach so he could sleep.

Sleep didn’t seem to want to come though. He was plenty tired, but his nausea rolled through him in a way that made it impossible to sleep. Hyrule would just manage to doze off a little when his stomach would churn, and he’d have to reposition himself before trying to sleep again.

There was a pressing on his throat now too, one that only lessened a little when he swallowed, and Hyrule tried desperately to ignore it. He even tried using a little spurt of his powers on himself, hoping it would help something, but all it served to do was make him dizzier. It must have been the middle of the night by now, and he’d barely slept a wink.

Hyrule rolled over again, clutching his blanket to himself as he bit his tongue.

I’m fine. It’s just a stomachache. Go to sleep.

Hyrule’s stomach rumbled in a bad way, and he curled in tighter on himself.

It’s okay, it’s just an ache, you’re fine.

His stomach rolled more sharply. The pressing on his throat grew worse, and Hyrule whimpered.

You’re fine you’re fine you’re fineyou’refineyou’refine—

His stomach lurched, the pressing on his throat reaching the point of no return, and Hyrule stumbled out of bed, holding his hand over his mouth as he scrambled for the bathroom.

He only made it about halfway down the hallway before he couldn’t hold it back anymore.

Hyrule stumbled over and vomited all over the floor, unable to stop himself. Tears pricked at his eyes as he threw up, his throat burning, and all he could do was retch for several moments, all while trying to be as quiet as possible.

Finally his stomach finished rebelling, and Hyrule sank down to his knees, a ragged hiccup escaping him. He hated throwing up. And he didn’t even feel any better than he had before.

Hyrule let out a soft moan, clutching at his stomach, then braced himself before opening his eyes. It was even worse than he’d been expecting, and Hyrule began to shake as he stared at the mess of what used to be his dinner on the floor, mind whirling with dizziness and sudden terror.

He’d thrown up all over the floor, and a rug.

No no no no you ruined it you wrecked their things they’re going to punish you—

Hyrule nearly threw up again as memories lodged in his head of other sicknesses, voices screeching in his ears, head spinning. Being yelled at for daring to throw up, told to clean up his own mess, berated for being too weak to heal and kicked around one time when he just couldn’t make his trembling body move—

Hyrule clutched at his hair, and tried to take in steadying breaths.

No. No, he would figure this out. He would clean it up, and nobody would even know. There had to be cleaning supplies around somewhere, right? He knew where Malon kept a few things, but not stuff that would helpful for this. But surely the bathroom had cleaners somewhere?

He’d start there.

Hyrule swallowed back the burn in his throat, and dizzily stumbled to his feet, hurrying on shaking legs to the bathroom. Nobody was using it thank goodness, and despite how his head hurt even more as he flicked the light on, he firmly ignored it, looking carefully in the cabinet and drawers. His hands shook as he dug around, trying not to disturb anything too much, and the tight feeling in his stomach only increased, due to both nausea and emotion.

You’ll clean it up it’ll be fine you’ll clean it up and nobody will know and nothing will happen.

Hyrule finally found an old towel next to some sponges, one obviously used to clean with. Hyrule sagged in relief and snatched it up, heading back to the hallway. His vomit was obvious in the faint moonlight from the window, and Hyrule swallowed as he looked at it, stomach lurching as the smell hit him.

No no no, get it together. You’ve got to clean it up.

Hyrule breathed in harshly through his nose, turning away to get fresh air, then turned back once he felt his stomach was settled enough. He could do this. He wasn’t going to make even more of a mess.

Hyrule swallowed, the action hurting his throat, and started mopping up the mess, trying to hold his breath. The towel only sort of worked, his sick thick enough that he was mostly just spreading it around, and after a few moments Hyrule stopped with an anxious tap of his fingers. What else could he do? And even when he did manage to clean up the mess, where was he going to put it?

Hyrule stared dumbly at the vomit, feeling gross in multiple senses of the word.

He didn’t want to be sitting here next to his sick, trying to figure out how to clean it up while his head ached and his stomach twisted and his hands shook with fear.

He just wanted to go back to bed.

Hyrule bit his lip to stop himself from crying again, and tried to calm down. Maybe he should look for something he could throw out? That would be the easiest way to get rid of it. There were lunch bags downstairs... that might work. How was he going to get the mess into the bag though?

Hyrule stared at it again, trying to get his exhausted brain to think, but nothing was coming to mind.

And then he heard the floor creak.

Hyrule froze, his hearing seeming to sharpen at that single noise. Another creak rang out from the direction of Time and Malon’s room only a few paces away, and Hyrule’s breath caught, panic making his stomach lurch.

They’re going to see.

They woke up they’re going to see they’re going hate me they—

A shield flickered around him without his permission, making Hyrule’s dizziness worse as he quickly dropped it again. The pressing feeling came back into his throat, panic making him shake, fear pounding in his chest and squeezing so tight his lungs hurt.

His stomach lurched, and as the door opened, Hyrule threw up again right beside where he had before.

“Oh— good grief kiddo—”

Hyrule’s retching mixed with sobs he couldn’t hold back, and he barely heard the footsteps over his heart pounding in his ears, terror freezing him in place. A hand settled on his back, and Hyrule nearly choked, only crying harder as it began to rub.

“Just get it out Hyrule, it’s okay,” a voice said, and he let out a miserable noise, trying desperately to stop throwing up. There was barely anything in his stomach now, but things kept coming up anyway, bile burning as it went up his throat.

Finally he got his heaving under control, and Hyrule trembled as he looked up, feeling sick and disgusting and terrified.

Time knelt beside him, face creased, and Hyrule shrank in on himself, trying to hurriedly wipe his tears away. Crying always made it worse.

It didn’t here, a voice whispered in his head, reminding him of comforting arms wrapped around him while he sobbed, but the memory was lost in his headache and twisting stomach and weight of worse memories.

“Are you finished?” Time asked softly, and Hyrule sniffled, managing to nod. “Hyrule, what happened?”

“I w-was— I was t-trying to get to the bathroom, b-but I couldn’t do it— and I was trying t-to clean it, but— I’m sorry,” he choked out, more tears welling in his eyes.

Time looked at him with what might have been concern, but then Malon appeared in the doorway, and Hyrule’s gaze flicked to her. She looked... disgusted.

“Oh sweetie,” Malon sighed as she looked at the mess, and Hyrule was sure that meant she was mad. She flicked the light on so they could see better, then knelt down beside him and Time, taking in his trembling, disgusting, teary form. “Have you felt sick all day?”

Hyrule gave a tiny nod, and Malon sighed again, Hyrule flinching at the sound.

“Were you trying to clean this up by yourself?” Time questioned, and Hyrule bit his lip.

“Yes. I’m sorry I-I woke you,” he croaked, looking down at the floor as more tears dripped down his face. “I’ll— I’ll clean it. I’ll be quiet, I w-won’t bother you anymore.”

“Hyrule, you— honey, goodness, you don’t need to clean this up, we’ll handle it,” Malon said worriedly, and Hyrule stared at her like she’d grown a second head.

“But I made th-the mess, it’s my fault, I should clean it—”

“Link, you’re sick. Your job right now is to rest,” Time said patiently, leaning over and picking up the towel Hyrule had attempted to clean with. Time and Malon briefly met eyes, and he gave a small nod. “We’ll take care of it.”

Hyrule blinked at him, beyond confused. “But I... I ruined the rug,” he whispered, shrinking into himself while he expected a yell or smack.

To his surprise, Time laughed.

“Hyrule, this rug has had plenty of things happen to it, a little vomit will hardly ruin it,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re not even the first kid to throw up on it.”

“I’m not?” Hyrule peeped, and Time nodded.

“You’re not. And even if you were, it’s just a rug,” Malon assured, then gently took his hand. “You look pretty rough, sweetie. What do you say we get you cleaned up?”

Hyrule hesitated, still extremely confused, but finally nodded. He didn’t have to clean it up? They weren’t mad?

That just... didn’t make any sense.

A trick?

Hyrule swallowed. He would maybe question it more, but he still felt terrible and too tired to argue. If it was a trick, he didn’t have the energy to try and get out of it. So he let Malon gently tug him back to the bathroom, fetching him some clean pajamas and cleaning the vomit from his chin and hands.

At some point while she cleaned him up he realized he was crying again, but he didn’t even know why. He was just exhausted. Malon gently wiped his tears away too, and once he was all cleaned up, Hyrule let her put her arm around him.

He sniffled, still feeling sick and dizzy, but... better, with the contact.

Maybe... maybe it wasn’t a trick.

Malon rubbed his back for a few moments, then picked him up, Hyrule resting a shaky head on her shoulder. They left the bathroom, and passed Time cleaning up in the hallway, Hyrule feeling that horrible shrivel of guilt and fear in his stomach again. But Time only kept cleaning, and Malon carried Hyrule back to his room, sitting down on the bed with him as she brushed sweaty hair from his forehead.

“You don’t feel too warm... does your stomach still hurt?” Malon asked softly so as not to wake anyone else in the room, and Hyrule gave a little nod. “Would you like to try some ginger ale? That seems to help your brothers when they’re nauseous.”

The mere idea of drinking anything only made his stomach hurt more, and Hyrule quickly shook his head.

“Okay. Maybe we can try some in the morning,” Malon said, and silence fell over them, Hyrule still letting out an occasional soft sniffle.

He still didn’t know what to think about all this, and was too exhausted to puzzle through it anymore. He was completely sure that Malon had been disgusted by his throw up, but she’d still cleaned it off of him. He’d interrupted Time’s sleep while he was especially busy with work, but he’d still rubbed his back while he was being sick and was cleaning up his mess.

He didn’t understand. He just didn’t understand.

Malon covered up a small yawn, still running a hand over his head, and looked down when Hyrule sniffled again.

“You don’t have to hide when you’re sick, Hyrule,” Malon began quietly, and he closed his eyes, not wanting to look at her. “I know it’s hard to tell us when something is wrong. But we want to help you, and we can’t do that if we don’t know that there’s a problem.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and Malon sighed again.

“And you don’t need to apologize, sweetheart. We’re all still figuring this out. And you can’t help being sick, it’s just one of those things,” she said gently. “You feel okay enough to go back to sleep? You look like you could use it.”

Hyrule gave a tiny shrug. He didn’t know. His stomach still hurt a lot, and even though he didn’t feel like he was going to throw up again right now, his throat and head both hurt, and he felt dizzy when he moved too fast. He didn’t know if sleep was going to happen.

Time walked in while he was thinking, and Hyrule looked up, blinking at the pail he was holding.

“Here we go. If you feel like you can’t make it to the bathroom, you can throw up in here,” Time explained, setting the bucket by the bed. “Then you don’t have to worry about making a run for it.”

“Is there anything else you need?” Malon asked.

Both of them looked at him, expressions worried, and Hyrule felt his eyes sting again, lip trembling.

The last time he’d been sick like this, he’d had a bucket thrown at him and been told to keep the noise to a minimum, then been essentially left alone for a week. It had been all he could do just to drag himself to the bathroom when he needed it, to say less of the day his healing had been needed in the middle of everything.

But this time... it had just...

Hyrule buried his face in Malon’s shoulder, his tears back again for a different reason, and she made a worried noise, holding him tighter.

“I-I’m— I don’t n-need anything,” Hyrule managed to hiccup out through his sobs, voice muffled by Malon’s shirt. “I— thanks.”

His voice broke into an embarrassing squeak, and he rubbed at his eyes, still puffy from his earlier tears. He just couldn’t stop crying tonight.

He hated being sick. He hated it so much.

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Try to calm down a little,” Malon soothed, and Time sat down next to her, setting a hand on Hyrule’s back again. “Take some deep breaths. It’s okay.”

Malon began to hum the song Hyrule had heard her sing around the house before, one that he really liked. Time stayed quiet, but he didn’t move his hand from Hyrule’s back, and it felt warm where it rested near his shoulder. They both felt warm and safe, safe like wisps of memory Hyrule could barely recall, safe like the night they told him they loved him, and wanted him to stay.

Safe like being told he was family.

Hyrule shakily breathed in, then out, relaxing into their hold. His tears began to slow, then stop, leaving him even more exhausted than before, even with the tiredness from being sick. A blanket got set over him at some point, and his eyes drifted closed, the terrified feelings he’d been trying to overcome all day finally easing.

His stomach still hurt, he still felt sick, but it was less extreme, and he felt... better. In more than one way.

Hyrule finally relaxed, safe in the arms around him, and drifted off to sleep, secure in the knowledge he would be taken care of when he woke back up.

[loopstagirl]

Walk in the Park

For @febuwhump day 3: Pinned Down

Jeff paused and took a moment to look around. He smiled. It was a rare weekend where a) he wasn’t called into work, b) none of the boys had activities, c) none of the children were unwell, and d) the sun was shining. As soon as they’d seen the forecast that morning, both he and Lucy had known what they’d do today. 

A picnic in the park, with all five of their boys. 

It had been months since circumstances had let them do something like this. Between an unseasonably wet spring and various clubs, not to mention emergency meetings as Jeff’s fledgling business sprouted wings, there was always something on. 

Now, though... Now, everything was perfect. They’d eaten with minimal squabbles over who got the last sausage roll and which flavour drink they wanted. Alan had started to get tired and Scott had declared he was taking his baby brother for a walk. Ten minutes later, a smug 13-year-old had returned with Alan asleep in the stroller. The toddler wouldn’t sleep for much longer, but it had stopped any meltdowns. 

Virgil had seen some friends from school and run off to the play equipment with them. Thankfully, they’d picked a spot where both parents could see him without having to move. John was sprawled on the blanket, legs swinging in the air as he read, and Scott and Gordon were playing a version of catch the 5-year-old could keep up with. 

Jeff caught Lucy’s eye. She was sitting next to John, leaning back on her palms, keeping an eye on Virgil but with a satisfied smile on her face. It only widened when she looked over at her husband. This was what their family was all about. 

He grabbed a drink from the cooler, intending to sit next to her. All their children were entertaining themselves, which was a wonderful and rare experience. Before he could do so, however, a shout came from the playground. Jeff shielded his eyes with a hand as he looked that way, aware that Lucy had also straightened up. 

He wasn’t sure what was happening to begin with. Perhaps a child had misjudged the monkey bars? There were plenty of parents milling around there. Then there was another shout – and it was a voice he recognised. 

Lucy was already on her feet. 

“Virgil.” 

Jeff took a few steps closer, trying to see what was going on. Then he cursed under his breath, hoping that John didn’t hear him. 

Some older boys, maybe Scott’s age, were trying to take over the playground. They were ignoring the little kids, but focused on the other boys there without their parents: Virgil and his friends. As Jeff watched, one of the older kids shoved a younger one, causing him to stumble into the other teenagers. They didn’t let him regain his balance though, pushing him again. 

Lucy recognised the red tee before Jeff did. She took off, not quite a run, but a fast, angry walk that would get her there quicker than if Jeff sprinted. He took a step, then glanced at his remaining children. Scott was responsible, but he couldn’t leave him with John, Gordon and Alan. Still, he stayed on his feet, a few steps towards the playground, watching. 

“Dad? Where’s Mom-,” Scott trailed off, standing next to him. He too squinted in the direction of the playground, just as Virgil hit the ground. “Virgil!” 

Jeff only had time to grab Scott’s arm as the boy made to hurtle off.  

“Your mom has got this, Scott.” 

“That’s Tommy Higgins and his friends,” Scott snarled. “I warned them if they ever went near my brothers again...” His gaze flickered to John before back to the playground, and Jeff knew there was an untold story there for sure. 

Scott tried to pull out of his dad’s hold and Jeff found himself tightening his grip to hold the boy back.  

“I need you here, Flyboy.” 

“No! I told him! If he dares-,” 

“Your mom is almost there, Scotty. Virgil is okay.” 

Indeed, the boy was getting back up. Lucy was almost at the gate now and Jeff knew the older teens were going to be fools if they tried anything now. 

“Where’s Mama?” Gordon asked, appearing out of nowhere. 

“She’s gone to help your brother.” 

“I can help too!” Gordon looked as if he was all set to go dashing after Lucy. 

“John? A hand, please?” 

John looked up from his book and caught Gordon round the middle, pulling the suddenly-giggling child down to the blanket with him.  

“Scott, calm down.” 

“I’m not calming down! I told him he’d get what was coming to him if he ever went near them again.” 

“Scott!”  

Jeff couldn’t hold him. He wasn’t sure when Scott had suddenly sprouted but his little boy wasn’t so little anymore. In the type of move he hadn’t used since his Air Force days, he hooked his arms under Scott’s shoulders, pulling the boy back into him. Scott struggled, but even his new-found height was no match for this grip. 

“Calm down,” Jeff said in his ear. “I know you’re upset; I know you’re mad. But your mom is handling it. It won’t help Virgil, or any of your brothers, if they see you answer violence with violence.” 

Indeed, Jeff wasn’t entirely sure where this had come from. Scott had always been protective, but it appeared that all the emotions that came with being a young teenager meant he was trying to find a different outlet for those emotions. Jeff loved Scott’s protective nature, but he couldn’t let this continue. 

Scott snarled. One day, that was going to be an impressive sound. But his voice hadn’t yet broken and it didn’t have the depth to it to be truly chilling. Jeff winced as a foot collided with his shin. While he didn’t necessarily remember being 13, he did remember being a teenager and the feeling that the world was out to get him.  

He walked back a few steps, dragging Scott with him so that he was further away from his brothers. Carefully, he shifted their centre of gravity until he could drop to his knees, pulling Scott down with him. Then it was just a case of extending his legs, unhooking his arms and wrapping his son in a bear hug, keeping Scott’s arms trapped within his own. 

“You need to calm down,” Jeff said in his ear. Scott twisted in the hold but his father’s grip was too strong. 

“I have to help Virgil.” 

“This is not the way, and you know it. You’ll only get yourself into trouble and either you or your brother could be hurt if you react like this. Is this what you want?” 

Scott, mercifully, stopped struggling. He was still tense though and Jeff didn’t dare relax his grip. 

“What about Gordon? Do you think this is any example to set your younger brother?” 

He didn’t need to worry about John. He hadn’t copied Scott the way the others did for a while now and had his own way of handling things. Jeff knew his second born had a bad habit of trying to be invisible when the attention was on him, but he had an acid tongue if anyone tried to pick on his brothers – whether that was another child or a grownup. Jeff had been forced to apologise while trying not to laugh more than once. 

“He’ll know that I’ll always defend him.” 

“By getting into trouble yourself? That’s making the situation worse, and you know it.” 

Jeff dared risk a glance at the playground. Lucy was heading back their way, their 8-year-old clutching her hand. Jeff couldn’t read Virgil’s expression from this distance, but he was walking fine, so at least he wasn’t physically hurt. 

“Let me go!” 

“Not a chance, kiddo.” 

Jeff knew that Scott was fighting the hold, but he could barely feel his boy’s struggles as he held him down. It was only when Lucy came closer and they could see for themselves that although there were tear tracks down Virgil’s face, he’d already stopped crying and was smiling at something his mother had just said. 

Jeff sighed in relief. Then Scott went limp. The father suddenly wondered how much Scott had been feeding off his own tension and grimaced. He could keep calm in a business meeting but apparently not so much when it came to someone hurting his children. 

“Everything okay?” He called. He relaxed his grip but didn’t dare let Scott go. Not just yet.  

“All handled,” Lucy said. She had a hand on Virgil’s shoulder but ruffled his hair and nudged him towards his brothers. Virgil didn’t hesitate, dropping down beside John and instantly finding himself with Gordon climbing on him.  

“Get off,” he muttered, but he didn’t push Gordon away like he usually did and there was no conviction in his voice.  

“I was gonna save you,” Gordon told him, his tone uncharacteristically serious. 

“I didn’t need saving. Especially not from you.” Virgil wasn’t meeting Gordon’s eye. 

“There’s nothing wrong with a helping hand,” Lucy told him, also sitting down. “Even if it comes in squid-form.” She seized Gordon round the middle and pulled him onto her lap, tickling him. Gordon laughed. 

“Johnny, help!” 

John – for once – joined in without hesitation. After a second, Virgil also piled in and Lucy disappeared under three laughing boys. 

“You okay?” Jeff murmured in Scott’s ear. He softened his grip until he was hugging his boy. Scott didn’t let that happen very often these days and Jeff missed it. 

He heard Scott swallow before the boy nodded. “Yeah.” 

Gently, Jeff let go until Scott could sit up. His son looked at him, and it was a mixture of the man he’d one day be and the little boy he was trying so hard not to be. 

“They know you’ll protect them,” Jeff said quietly. “But there’s a right and a wrong way of doing it. You understand that, right?” 

Scott couldn’t meet his eyes but he nodded again. Jeff clapped him on the shoulder. 

“Don’t get me wrong, Scotty, I’m proud of you for wanting to look out for them. But no getting into fights, or you’ll be the one in trouble.” 

“Copy that,” Scott said. Jeff properly relaxed at hearing the words. 

“Now, go on, I think your mom needs you right now,” he said. He nudged Scott towards the pile that was his wife and three kids. Scott didn’t need telling twice and charged over, scooping a surprised and delighted Gordon into the air just as Alan woke up. 

Jeff fetched his youngest, keeping the blanket wrapped around him as he balanced the 18-month-old in his arms. Alan’s eyes were wide as he watched the laughing pile of siblings. 

“Maniacs,” Jeff told him. “The lot of them.” 

Alan’s answer giggle told him the smallest Tracy both agreed and approved. 

[dearlyd3parted]

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖: 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 | 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

🕸️chapter index: chap 1 chap 2 chap 3 🕸️ this chapter contains smut! 🕸️ pet name usage: baby, babe, love, the usual ^_^

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 3: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 - 9.6k

Yesterday was difficult.

It was now Saturday, and you were pondering on the time you had with Mark the day before. It wasn’t anything special. Actually, the day itself wasn’t difficult at all. 

When you brought up Xiaojun at the start of the week, or better yet, the idea of dating, you weren’t expecting him to be so…reactive. Well, obviously you couldn’t be 100% sure that was the reason, but you weren’t stupid. It was the only new factor that could have caused this change in behavior. Mark stumbled on his words more often, his eyes a little wider and little more downturned in fear and worry, the alleged secret admirer that just appeared, and his writings in the webs. Mark had always been strange, but never in a way so unexplainable.

It seemed all you could think about the whole week is what any part of this could mean. Did it make him uncomfortable to learn this new information about you? Had he forgotten how to act around you? Or, is it what you hoped for? Was he affected?

It made you feel insane that you were thinking about it so heavily, like a schoolgirl with some kind of toxic limerence, trying to dissect the pieces in her favor. 

It didn’t help that yesterday had been so nurturing. Mark rarely has a drained social battery; that’s just not a common thing in his nature. He’d just rather spend alone time with you, and you were unfortunately aware of that. Unfortunately, because it made you that much more hyper aware of every small detail. That much more aware of every unconditional smile, every tug on your sleeve when he wanted you to follow, every laugh that echoed in your skull. And not to exclude his penetrating eyes as you tried to sleep on the train, but how could you when he was so close, his eyes never straying from anywhere but you. It was impossible not to burn under them.

Worst of all, that look. That god forsaken look that had you sliding down the wall of your apartment entrance the moment you entered your home. You had seen it before, it never got easier. There wasn’t a time you could recall where it didn’t make your hands sweaty and your heart thump aggressively in your chest. It just couldn’t have come at a worst time.

It was just unfair, honestly. For Mark to look at you like you created the sun and the stars given the events of the past week. It made you wonder if he would still look at you like that if he knew.

It wasn’t a crime to be in love, you knew that. Though it definitely felt like a crime to be in love with your best friend for years without end, never once saying a word. You had told yourself all this time that you didn’t want to burden him with the weight of what you felt on top of the burden of being a hero, and that had allowed all these years to pass. You had to ask yourself a lot more frequently now if that was really the case or only part of it. If Mark knew you loved him, he would know every action, every word that came from your being the past few years was laced with something else other than friendship. There was always the chance it would ruin those memories. That he would never look at you in the way you adored ever again.

Trying to figure out Mark Lee was exhausting. On top of that, figuring out yourself and dealing with self-doubt that you had never been one to struggle with, it had worn you.

After your face burned 5 shades less red, you pulled yourself up from the floor, dragging yourself to your bed and flopping down, sleep coming easy aside from the recurring images of Mark that were always just there. Distantly, you wished you never started this effort of trying to press his buttons. Things would have stayed the same, but they wouldn’t have been so frightening.

You drifted quickly to sleep, and when you woke up you found yourself still in that pool of bad emotions. Yunjin was out for the weekend, and the apartment felt unsettling being so quiet. If this was a normal circumstance, you’d probably find comfort in your best friend. However, you figured that would probably make you feel worse.

So, you sat on your fire escape, dangling your feet into the night. It felt less alone than being in your room for some reason, and it was a good place to pop in headphones and listen to whatever music decided to shuffle on. It was the best effort you could think of to try and stray away from a fact you knew was becoming irrefutable. All this love was too large to be contained anymore.

You were lightly jostled out your melancholic state when your phone started to buzz, and you pulled it out of your pocket of your hoodie the screen shined with the caller id “Mark ᓚ₍⑅^..^₎♡” under a picture of the both of you during your 7th grade spring formal. You sighed as your thumb went to slide to answer. Mark really was inescapable, but you couldn’t seem to get enough. “Hi, Mark.”

“I’ve been texting you! I already started my patrol, but as soon as I went out, I went to chase after a bike thief! He was pretty slippery to catch, but I got him! I don’t know whose bike this is though…” Mark rambled through the phone, a small smile on your face despite everything. “I’ll have to leave a note…Anyway, join me, yeah?”

You sighed, a few hours of going back and forth with Mark is probably the last thing you needed. However, you already admitted you can’t get enough. “Yeah, I’ll join you. Give me a second.”

Shuffling could be heard on Mark’s end, signifying he was up to some sort of shenanigans, as he quickly responded. “Alright! I’ll be waiting!”

You hung up the phone, looking out at the city one more time, before heading into your room. You sat at your desk chairs, letting your monitors light up as your computer powered on, and before you knew, you could hear the familiar ‘beep beep’ indicating that you had connected to the communications system. Your first sight was Mark standing in a pizza shop.

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit, finding it ridiculous that he had already gotten distracted “Got hungry?”

Mark perked up as he heard your voice. “Ah! You’re here! Yeah, I thought I’d swing by. Just waiting on mine now! The guy tried to give it to me for free again, but I slipped a 20 in his jar. You want some?”

You were adjusting the volume and screen on your monitor, going to answer him. “No, I’m okay-”

A gasp could be heard as you felt a cold and rough hand come up to your mouth. You could hear Mark asking what was wrong as your chair turned around, and suddenly you were surrounded by 3 men you had never seen, one of them clearly holding some kind of weapon. 

Your eyes went wide as you watched one of them hold a finger up to his mouth, and before your body or mind could react, there was a bag over your head. 

.   　˚　✭　*✦　.　‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ 　 ˚　.˚ ✭　.

Mark was feeling a lot better.

He had a nice day with his crush of years the day prior, and although he had lost a few battles this week, the war wasn’t over. He realized that now.

For the first time since the week started, he didn’t feel anxious or like his world was coming to an end. He was…calm. As calm as he could be as he started his patrol, unable to get a hold of you. He figured you were busy and would get back to him momentarily, and as he saw someone yelling after a man wearing all black with a stolen bike, he decided to get right to it.

That chase ended up taking him longer than he expected. He definitely had an experienced bike thief on his hands. After leaving a note on a bike whose owner was nowhere to be found at that point, his stomach growled a bit, so he swung himself to his favorite pizza parlor. Mark frequented there even in his full Spider-suit ever since he forgot he was wearing it once and waltzed right in. Now every time he goes, he has to bicker with the owner who never wants to let Mark pay. 

As he waited for his pizza, you finally answered. It didn’t take him long to notice that you sounded sadder than usual. While you switched from the phone call to the comms system, he figured that he should get to the bottom of whatever was causing you to be gloomy. 

And then, you stopped talking. 

One second you were talking to Mark, declining his offer of pizza, and after a short gasp, he couldn’t hear anything. 

He tried to call out to you and gave it a minute or two. Maybe you stepped away and would be back soon. That had to be it. However, after Mark started calling out again with no answer, a terrible yet familiar feeling set in the pit of his stomach. The one he got before most of his major fights that signified impending doom. This was worse, though, way worse. Mark had never gotten it with you.

His feet were moving before he could process it, running out of the pizza restaurant and jumping into the night. You were far, your apartment being a good 3 miles away. Mark figured if he hurried, he could reach it in 5 minutes. So, that’s what he did. He was still using that burdensome unassisted aim, and he was going at a speed that surely one mistake could cause him to get hurt. Mark didn’t care. He wasn’t even thinking about that. All he knew is that he needed to reach you as soon as possible.

Mark saw your apartment in the distance, his body going overdrive as he ran on the ledge of a building, throwing himself into his final few swings. As he approached, the pit in his stomach only made him more nauseous when his eyes landed on your window wide open. 

“Maybe she just wanted some air and left it open, maybe she just wanted some air,” Mark muttered to himself in a breathless state, as he landed on the wall, jumping onto your fire escape. He wasted no time in climbing in, the apartment deadly silent. 

“Y/n?” Mark called loudly, making his way room to room, finding that no one was there. He turned back to your room, his blood running a little colder. “Just call her…Just call her…” Mark murmured, pulling his phone out to dial you. 

Mark’s head turned when he heard your phone buzzing on the desk, walking up to pick it up. The sight confirmed to him that something was wrong. “Shit.” He whispered to himself, holding he phone tight in his hands.

Mark’s head flew up as a signal struggled to connect your monitor, and suddenly he was met with a face he had never seen before. A man with a scar above his eye.

“Spiderman…I see you’ve made it.”

Mark leaned on the desk, staring at the monitor trying to get a better look at the man. “Who the hell are you?”

The man chuckled, his eyes dark as he stared at Mark. “Not important. All you need to know is that I have your little girlfriend.”

Mark’s heart couldn’t have sunk further, his body ran cold as his fists clenched. This douchebag was talking about you. He shuddered before he shot up, as if ready to bolt out. “Wh…Where is she?”

“She’s fine, don’t worry. All I need from you is the drive that gets me into junk drawer. I know you have one.”

The eyes on Mark’s mask narrowed. “Junk drawer? What do you need with that?”

The man seemed irritated, exhaling hard as he retorted. “Doesn’t matter to you. Just bring it to me and I’ll give you the girl. I won’t give you long.”

Mark would’ve flung out the window there and then, but then it hit him. “Where do I find you? Where are you?” He demanded with frustration.

“You’re a smart kid. I’m sure you can figure it out. We’ll be here…”

The man turned the camera and briefly, it flashed to you, sat in a chair before the connection cut, and Mark was left alone. 

“Damnit!” He yelled as he sat down, already working to trace the origin of the call. Mark was working on autopilot, his heart racing as the seriousness of the situation set in.

How could this happen? Mark was just talking to you mere minutes ago. You were right, he hadn't been careful enough with you. Someone had connected you to him, and now you were gone. With a lunatic who wanted the entrance to junk drawer, at that. He worked diligently until he reached coordinates, and he was already flung out the window.

So many thoughts ran in his fear-stricken mind. Does he call for help? How much time did he have? Were you really alright? What does that idiot want with junk drawer? 

He only knew one answer, he needed to make sure you were safe above all else.

.   　˚　✭　*✦　.　‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ 　 ˚　.˚ ✭　.

The warehouse you were in was empty. Well, mostly empty. There were parts and scrap metals on the floor with tables scattered around, all of which with some weird unconventional weapon on top of them. There was only one table that didn’t have an odd invention on it, it held a plethora of monitors, and a chair for the man that you assumed was behind all of this.

You quickly realized this man was deranged in the most idiotic way. Your head was in a bag, a piece of tape over your mouth as you were rushed to the warehouse like some kind of movie kidnapping. You weren't moved in a car or by foot, someone had carried you with what sounded like some type of jet technology that sounded all sorts of unsafe. That way, you made it fast to the damp warehouse on the outer side of town.

The guy, who was addressed as Scar by his men on the radio, was quick to brag to you about his maniacal plan. He told you that he once worked for Tony Stark, and Tony got “petty” and fired him. He showed off his various “inventions” that he found pride in creating all on his lonesome. You sat there with your hands tied behind your back, not saying much in order to tread lightly around someone who was clearly not thinking clearly.

 As you heard him interact with Mark and his own lackeys, looking around at weapons that the more you looked at them didn’t look up to any legal standards, you started to figure him out.

“You’re making a mistake.” You said quietly to scar, who turned to look at you with a smirk. “They’re already at junk drawer, aren’t they?”

He scoffed, a cocky smile on his face. “You're smarter than your boyfriend.”

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath at the word boyfriend, but feeling it wasn’t an appropriate time to correct him. “Your machinery doesn’t look safe, junk drawer is protected for a reason. There’s tech in there that could be dangerous if used wrong. And…if Stark Industries fired you, it must have been for a reason. A man like Tony doesn’t do things out of pettiness.”

Scar’s expression grew a little more serious before he huffed and turned around to look away from you. “What are you, a fan of the avengers or some shit?” 

You pursed your lips, fan was an understatement. “Maybe. Doesn’t matter. Some of these weapons don’t look up to regulation. If these were sold…it…it’s just a mistake.”

Scar was visibly more irritated now. “Shut up before I put the tape on your mouth again. I know what I’m doing.”

You highly doubted he did, the whole stunt a clear act of vendetta. You just hoped Mark would realize that soon as well. Afterall, a villain with no plan is more unpredictable than one who does have one.

Your foot tapped anxiously as you kept trying to budge at the ropes on your hands. It was just a waiting game for Mark to show up, all while his men were already making plans to enter junk drawer when it was left vulnerable. The wait didn’t last long, as it turned out Mark found the coordinates faster than you expected when you both heard a thud land on the roof. 

Scar stood up, standing behind your chair as he turned you to face the entrance, and the situation was only becoming more and more tense. “He’s too early.” 

Seconds later, Mark was stumbling in, and Scar was prepared with an outstretched hand, hooked onto some kind of makeshift ray, a copy of some of Stark Industries tech, as a message to stay back

There was a silence as Mark assessed the situation, and you could tell he was acting frantically. In the silence, your mouth was open before you could think it through. “You have to go to junk drawer, there's already people over there! He’s bluffing!” You blurted out, Scar yelling ‘Shut up!’ as soon as you said it. 

Mark stood with a firm stance, his face unreadable under the mask, slowly he started to inch forward. “I have the drive.” Mark announced, seemingly completely ignoring what you had said. “You have to let her go.”

Scar only smiled, pulling the chair back with you in it. His hand snaked around your neck. You gulped as you stared at Mark with a growing expression of worry. More for the heist that was about to take place and less for yourself. “Good. Keep walking, slow and steady, until I tell you to stop.”

Mark was beside himself, this whole thing had felt like a fever dream to him up until then. Up until he saw this random guy with his hand around your neck. Touching you. “Okay! Okay! Just…don’t do anything.” Mark blurted through his teeth., trying to seem assertive but ultimately sounding what he was, horrified. 

Mark kept inching closer as Scar moved his hand away from your neck to the back of your chair. “Just keep walking, slowly.” Scar ordered.

So, he did. He inched closer and closer, and you couldn’t believe he was entertaining this. “…just drop it and go.” You pleaded, your voice desperate and worried as he kept coming closer. Mark ignored you again, it was clear he was disregarding what you were saying despite the severity of the situation.

You could feel Scar’s satisfied smile with each second that passed. It was never about you at all, it was always about wasting time. Yet, Mark couldn’t seem to understand that. “Keep walking, a little further.” Mark obeyed, walking closer and closer, the drive clenched in his hands.  

Suddenly, scar spoke out. “Stop. You’re close enough.” Scar demanded when Mark was only a few feet away. “Put the drive on the floor, and back away.”

Mark did just that, scrambling back faster than he came. The air was thick as Scar stepped out from behind you, walking to pick up the drive and returning back to the chair. 

Mark watched in a nervous silence as the ropes on your chair were undone. Yet once you were free, his hands were on your shoulders, not letting you move. You looked back to Scar, a lump in your throat, and to Mark with a heavy look.

“I did it,” Mark said shakily, getting frustrated, “so let her go.” 

Scar was silent, listening to the feedback on the radio behind him, as if deciding what to do. He kept a tight hold on you, as he pulled the chair back with you in it, the legs scraping making an unbearable sound. Not as unbearable as getting pulled farther and farther away from Mark, though, wanting this whole thing to be over already.

As you and Scar reached closer to his communication systems, you could hear the discourse. The men on the other side are still going back and forth with each other, one of them asking ‘how much time?’ and something in your stomach told you this wouldn’t be the end of it. You could hear him behind you, doing something, reaching for something, but your eyes wouldn’t leave Mark. 

Finally Scar let go of your shoulders, the freedom catching you off guard. “Stand up, go to him slowly.

You did just that, the adrenaline barely keeping you up on your own two feet as you put one foot in front of the other. You didn’t know what slow meant, what was acceptable or unacceptable, but you did know that if you didn’t get to Mark soon, you wouldn’t reach him at all. In a moment, your heart skipped a beat, a chill down your spine as you decided to break into a full sprint.

Your efforts were in vain, and as you had expected, that God awful jet sound came on, and a gangly cold arm snaked around you, shooting you in the air.

You could barely process your own scream as you clung onto it for life, debris falling over your face as you were shot out of the warehouse ceiling. When you found it in you to open your eyes and look at Scar, he wore a stressed look.

“Let’s go for a little walk.”

.   　˚　✭　*✦　.　‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ 　 ˚　.˚ ✭　.

Ever since Mark knew you, you always seemed to talk with your face. Therefore, it was heart wrenching when he saw you communicating something he had never seen on the face he adored, genuine dread and fear.

That is what he was met with as he walked into the warehouse, trying to comply with this asshole’s demands so he could get you out of here, preferably kick his ass, and make sure nothing like this ever happened again due to his carelessness. Yet, there you were, telling him to leave. To go protect junk drawer, as if that was more important than you.

As he placed the drive down on the floor, He could care less what the implications were if junk drawer was getting broken into at that very moment. All Mark knew is that it was making his blood boil to see the man touching you, making you sweat in anxiety under his calloused hands. He knew he had to put an end to it soon. 

Mark only briefly thought about the plan being used to waste his time. Under any other circumstance, he would be strategizing to get you out of harm's way and interject in the villainy taking place. The latter seemed to matter nothing to him, not when everything was at stake.

Mark’s breathing trembled a little in relief when he finally saw you inching towards him, still with those words on your face that said something was wrong. He pieced together what it was when you tried to sprint, and just like that, you were in the air. Without a single thought, he was swinging after you. 

Mark used every ounce of stamina and strength he had to chase after you. Those jets were strong and bulky, emitting some sort of beam of heat that he just knew he couldn’t get close to. His heartbeat only picked up, his pants heavy as he tried to think of how he could get close enough. The man was flying with you higher than the skyline, and if Mark wanted to reach you, he’d have to swing himself from with lots of momentum. 

Until, the jets started sputtering, a nasty smoke emitting from it as the man seemingly started to lose control. Perhaps it would’ve been a good thing, but he was carrying you. Mark didn’t care if he got burned, he started moving in closer. As he did, the man made a b-line higher and farther for a building under construction. 

Mark enhanced his sight, zooming in to watch as the man went in hot, the jetpack on its final stretch. 

Time was moving slow for Mark as he watched the jet contraption fail, sending you and the man landing on the construction site, followed by an explosion that rattled the structure as Scar’s invention gave in on itself. Mark wasn’t even looking as the guy tried to get away, fidgeting with some other gadgets he had on him, he could only see you terrified and knelt down on the flimsy wood panels of the structure, frantically looking around. He was so relieved, yet so shaken to see you were alright, knowing that it was seconds away from going wrong.

Mark’s been in life-or-death situations, fought villains and monsters of the ordinary person’s nightmares. He had never been as scared as he was in that moment, since he realized you were gone. Never had he felt chills run up the back of his spine so prickly and cold. Suddenly, it made sense what it was that had caused him to be a coward the whole week. Why he couldn't utter a three-letter phrase that came so easy to live but so hard to admit to you, especially when it could change everything.

He was scared to lose you.

3. 

Mark landed as softly as he could in front of you as to not jeopardize the likely unstable floors, kneeling in front of you as he grabbed your face that ran pale in fear. “Are you okay?! Are you hurt?!” He questioned breathlessly, his eyes roaming over every inch of you.

You nodded, your hands shaking as you went out to grab his wrists. “I... I’m fine, I told you he’s not trying to hurt me. He’s just buying time.”

Mark couldn’t buy that you were alright, not until he was one-hundred percent certain. “What’d he do to you? Was he in your house?”

You sighed shakily, your head shaking, “Mark, I said I’m fine. You need to get to junk drawer.”

Mark shook his head, looking around for any signs of Scar. “I don’t care, I’m not leaving you.” Mark asserted, his hands holding onto yours tight. “I’ve gotta get you away from here-”

“Mark, please listen. This guy’s crazy, if his weapons get on the market who knows-”

“Y/n please,” Mark cut you off, his head turning back to look at you. “No way in hell am I going anywhere when he’s out for you.”

“He’s not after me, please just listen-”

“You listen to me!” Mark said in frustration, his anger and horror and stress from the past hour bubbling up as he snapped at you, “I don’t care what they’re doing.”

“I only care about the girl that I’m in love with, and I’m not leaving you!"

Mark stared at you, a blank expression under his mask. He wasn’t able to stare for long, nor was he able to feel the effects of what had just blurted out of his mouth before his head whipped around, and aimed right at him was another weapon that looked like it couldn’t possibly be regulated. His body was moving before he could process it, and now he was just pissed off. 

Total peace wasn’t an option for Spiderman, but it was for Mark. Mark had found that in you, and for someone to take the one thing, the one person he had all to himself to comfort him, it made him ooze with rage. He dodged poorly taken shots, jumping and flipping from place to place as he avoided every hit, coming in with only one motive to make sure this guy couldn’t get near you again.

Mark’s mind and body moved on its own the closer he got, desperate to put an end to everything. When he came to his senses, it seemed he had won. A particularly effective web had Scar tied around a pole, unable to move. 

Mark stood in front of him, his chest going up and down as the haze in his mind allowed him to only think apprehend, apprehend, apprehend dimming down as the worst of it seemed to be over.

Scar’s condition seemed to be far worse, struggling against the webs, yelling out in a fit of rage as his vengeful eyes sat on Mark. 

“It’s over, just stop fighting, man.” Mark hissed, his fists clenched on his sides. 

Scar moved one of his hands that was hidden behind his back to the front. When Mark looked down, he noticed a little remote in them.

“I hope you don’t make it.”

Mark didn’t have time to be confused before a boom vertebrated behind him. His body twisted, running in a full sprint towards you and your falling figure.

It was quite ironic when you really thought about it. When he was first bitten by that spider, he often cursed the responsibility that came with his great powers, one’s he never explicitly asked to have. He spent a lot of his rookie years wondering why him. Why Mark Lee? As if he wasn’t odd enough, never fitting into most places. Now he just had to be the weird and awkward one and Spiderman. Some nights, he even wished he would wake up and he’d be normal again, never having to worry about his “duties” ever again. 

Now, here he was. Soaring into the night to reach your outstretched hand, your fingertips moments away, praying to this once unwanted power of his to work in his favor for once and save you. Someone who gave him something that he never has and never will beg to go away in his life. Someone who gave him love.

Once his hand clasped yours, he pulled you into his chest, grunting as he shot a web just in time, to deflect the fall. The both of you were already too close to the ground, and the best landing he could stick was flipping through the air, breaking the fall with his own body as he slid to a stop in an empty lot. 

It was quiet for a long time as Mark gazed up into the sky, holding you tight in his arms. Only when he heard the sound of sirens and an alert inside his hud that Mr. Stark was on his way and alert of the situation did Mark’s eyes flicker back to life. Looking up to see the destruction of the construction site and holding you tighter, Mark let his head fall back, breathing a sigh of relief that it was over. You were safe.

His body ached, and his arms hesitantly untangled themselves and outstretched on the cold floor. Mark’s injuries were the last of his worries, his only concern was your wellbeing. He didn’t know if you had sustained any injuries from that whole thing, the only indication that you weren’t knocked out cold was your hands gripped firmly on his shoulders still, and the slight shake in your body.

“Y/n,” Mark said softly, “Come on. We’ve gotta get you to a hospital.”

When Mark tried to stand the both of you up, he was met with resistance, your body doing its best to push him to stay down. Mark hated not seeing your face, not knowing what you were feeling, so all he could think of doing was wrapping his arms around you again. Fearful? Shaken? Angry? Maybe it was a mix of all of those? God, he wanted to know so he could make it better so bad-

Oh. You lifted your head to look at Mark. You looked like you felt all of those, but one he wouldn’t have expected was the most prominent. 

Longing.

“Are you really in love with me?”

Mark’s heart sank for what must have been the millionth time that day, and he thought that couldn’t possibly be a healthy amount. He hardly remembered any of what he said during that whole ordeal, but as he was reminded of that one, it definitely sounded like him.

 He was cornered, completely and utterly cornered. Not only could he not run with you on top of him, but he also probably couldn’t run after that fall anyway. What he really couldn’t escape though, were those damn eyes that were big and curious and desperate for an answer. 

So, he just started talking. 

“Are you really asking me?”

If that wasn’t an answer enough by the way that his lip quivered as he stared at you, Mark’s hand moved to brush hair out of your face, looking at you like nothing else existed in that moment before he continued. “You know…I’ve nearly died a lot more than your average person.”

Mark laughed under his breath, talking quietly as he was still trying to recover from getting the wind knocked out of him. “Everytime it happens, I experience that life flashing before your eyes thing. It isn’t…what it seems. People make it sound like it's a slideshow of your best memories that just plays out. It’s not. It’s like…a dvd player, and you get to pick your favorite movie.”

“Everytime, I chose to see you.”

Mark smiled weakly, his eyes beaming with something he had never quite let you fully see before. “Maybe because you’re comforting, or because it feels like you’re all I’ve ever known, or maybe because I love you, but it’s always you. Sometimes, I look forward to that. Almost dying. Cause’ it means even if just for a second, you’re all I see. Though, it’s like that even when I'm fully conscious as well.”

Mark sighed, throwing his head back as he grabbed his face in disappointment. “Sorry, not making much sense, I think I hit my head too hard.” He admitted with a small giggle. “I thought…I’d made that much obvious. But I’ll say it again for the record, in case you didn’t notice.”

“I really, really, really love you.”

The eyes on his mask blinked in disbelief like he couldn’t believe he finally uttered the words. “You don’t have to say anything, and whatever you decide to do with that, I’ll accept it wholeheartedly. But honestly…I’m just glad you know.”

Mark couldn’t stop looking at you, a glossy film over your eyes. He always imagined what you would look at him like when he told you. In his wildest fantasies, you wore the widest smile on your face or made a completely disgusted look. He couldn’t have predicted this one, but…in a good way.

After a short stillness, your hands moved to pull the mask off his face, throwing it to the side as your hands shakily came to his cheeks. For what felt like ages, you couldn’t take your eyes off every part of his face, reading him like a map. Your thumbs were tracing over his cheeks, his jaw, the outer corner of his eyes, and Mark only stared at you wordlessly, your reaction becoming less and less predictable.

Mark definitely couldn’t predict your lips on his. Nor could he predict how soft and pillowy they were.

When you pulled away, a small prickle fell from the corner of your eye, and his hand was quick to reach up to wipe it away. As if any tear on your face was sacrilegious. They were happy tears, though, that was evident with your smile as you beamed at him, “You’re an idiot.”

Idiot was the last thing your tone of voice was saying to him, and soon he was smiling too, his hands running around your neck. “I guess I am.”

Mark can’t be blamed for leaning in for yet another kiss. Not when he was finally granted permission to do what he’s always wanted to. 

.   　˚　✭　*✦　.　‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ 　 ˚　.˚ ✭　.

1 month later

Having Spiderman as a boyfriend had its perks for sure, but sometimes there were things that you just had to deal with.

For example, it meant you would never be late to work or class ever again. If you had woken up late, you had your own public transportation system to throw you from place to place. The same thing could be said if you ever needed something from the grocery store or wanted some takeout, as Spiderman proved to be faster than any delivery service. Of course, there was the pride you felt at all the good deeds your boyfriend and longtime best friend had done. A compliment to him felt like a compliment for you. He had also gotten you a signed card from almost every avenger you could name. Although he had done that one for you long before he became your boyfriend, it’s just nice to list it off.

One of the downsides you could name though was definitely when he would knock at your window covered in cuts, bruises, scrapes, sometimes having broken bones, and a hurt ego. However, he had done that long before he was your boyfriend, too.

Tonight, as you laid down enjoying some rest and a movie after a long day, you knew that would be the case when there was a knock at your window, and a quick turn of your head showed you Spiderman pawing at the glass. “Babe? Let me in, yeah?”

You scurried up, knowing by the sound of his wince that something had happened as you quickly popped open the window. As you took a step back, a tattered Mark Lee entered the room, pulling off his mask and revealing a cut that had even made it up to his lip. However, he didn’t seem to be in excruciating pain as he smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist, his head resting on your shoulder. “Hi, Y/n. I may have had a little accident.”

You sighed, a small smile on your face as your hands came up to rub his back, finding that he winced a little as you went to touch it. “Mm..I see. What happened now?”

Mark only nuzzled further starting his rant. “Well, long story short, I went to go find Mr. Stark and he was in the midst of hashing it out with this weird like…metal man. I was like, ‘Mr. Stark, need some help!?’ and he was like, ‘Just go home kid!’ but I didn’t really listen and kept trailing behind him. So, ended up getting dragged into it.”

You pushed him away and only held onto his arms as you looked up at him. “Are you serious?” You asked with concern, looking down to see he did have quite a few cuts.

Mark nodded with a smug smile, leaning in to plant a long kiss on your forehead. “Mm…yeah. Love you.” He mumbled, sounding way too normal about the whole thing.

A month wasn’t long enough for you to be used to Mark’s level of affection, but really you wondered if any amount of passing time would ever make your heart pound less in your chest. “Yeah, I love you too. But…we gotta clean these up. Go wait by the sink, yeah? I’ll get the first aid kit.”

Mark placed another kiss near your eye, causing you to flutter it shut. “Yes, Ma’am.” He replied, trodding his way to your bathroom as you scrumaged around your room to find the first aid kit you learned to keep on hand at all times.

Once you found it, you made your way into the bathroom. Mark was leaning against the counter, his suit loosened up as he inched his way out of the torso area. Placing down the first aid kit, you went to help him out, and he thanked you as his arms were finally free.

He looked down at himself, and so did you, he really was littered with small gashes sporadically throughout. Not to mention, it was criminal that he looked so good in such a state. “Mark…” you said softly, opening the first aid kit and getting straight to work. “You really have to listen to Tony when he tells you to do things.”

Mark winced as you wiped the first one with alcohol, his eyes fluttering shut. “Not my fault that weirdo started swinging at me!”

You smiled to yourself, his antics always being amusing to you. “Can’t believe you’re the Spiderman and you can’t take a little alcohol.”

Mark chuckled as he leaned one of his arms on the sink counter, the other resting at your hip. “Alcohol stings! You don’t have to clean them, you know. They’ll be gone in a few hours.”

You stopped dabbing, having barely placed your first bandaid down, a smile on your face. “Yet you always come so I can treat you.”

He smiled, pretending to pout as he pushed around strands of hair on your face. “Maybe I just wanna see you. Ever thought of that?”

Your cheeks went warm as you tried to continue what you were doing. “I figured that out a while ago.”

Mark just watched you, something he could do shamelessly now that he was dating you, and he knew that at least you knew a fraction of how much he loved you. He wasn’t sure you knew entirely, though. “Can I kiss you, please?” He asked in a pleading tone, his big eyes boring ingo you as both his hands moved to your hips. “You really don’t have to clean those. And, it’ll make me feel better.”

You sighed, putting down your cotton balls and bandages and meeting his gaze. “You’re so needy, you know that? What about the cut on your lip?”

Mark pulled you closer, wanting you pressed flush against him. “This thing?” He inquired by pointing at it, pressing his lips together to prove a point. “Barely even hurts.”

You giggled, and Mark felt his heart flutter knowing he caused it. He always did. “I guess I’ll allow it then.” You teased.

Mark tilted his head, leaning in closer to you as you stared at his lips. “I was gonna do it anyway.”

You swear you will never get sick of this feeling, the way that he handled you so carefully, his every move filled with adoration. Your first few kisses at the start of the relationship were slow and steady, testing out the water seeing how far they could go. Neither of you really had any experience before then, either being too awkward to have a first kiss or refusing to have it with anyone but each other and never knowing that fact.

However, ever since you started, it seemed you couldn’t stop. Small and sweet kisses, ones where you could feel his smile on your lips or whisper a quick ‘I love you’ turned into deeper and more passionate ones that…well…tended to end the same.

The point being, you couldn’t get enough of each other. Not after waiting all that time. So it went without saying that lately every kiss ended in Mark wanting to devour you. It was no different for this one.

It started off tame until it wasn’t, now Mark was passing his tongue across your lips, trying desperately to get inside, and squeezing your hips while he rubbed circles into it. Your hands rested on his shoulders, but honestly if he wasn’t so cut up they’d probably be running all over his torso.

Getting so heated while he was still in his spider suit was definitely new though, not that you were complaining when again, he looked way too good for someone who was supposed to be injured.

This kiss deepened, and you seemed to only want to press further into him. Mark’s hands got more explorative, and you found yourself opening your mouth even more, trying to taste every bit of him. It kept going until your hands at his neck started moving with a mind of their own, one of them reaching up to his nape and pulling on some of his hair.

For some reason, the small act drove Mark insane, and he detached his mouth from yours as a rather pathetic moan left his lips, and he looked at you with passionate eyes, his face burning red as he reached up one of his hands to bury it in. “Sorry, sorry.”

You were panting a little, trying to find your breath again after that as you stared at him with a soft smile. “It's okay.” You said softly to him.

You were hoping to continue, until you noticed something pressed firm against you, and you realized why Mark’s ears had gone so red. As you looked down, confirming a bulge pressed right into you, you swear you could hear Mark turn ten shades darker. You just smiled, brushing hair out of his face so you could see him better. “That excited already?”

Mark’s throat bobbed as he swallowed and looked at you. When you talked to him like that in the way he loved, especially during moments like this, it just wasn’t good for his sanity. “How can I not be? You’re too good at this.”

You laughed a little both of your hands on his face as you stared at him with parted lips. ”You want me to help?”

Mark’s face was shades of pink and red all over before he answered you, his voice a little shaky. “Help how?”

His heart almost slammed out of his chest as you knelt down, and it took everything in him to not start whining. “Love,” Mark muttered, his hands going down to your face, “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.” You answered back, tilting your head a bit as you looked up at him, your eyes shining with a desire in them. “You don’t want me to?”

Mark didn’t know whether to nod or shake his head, so instead he just waved his hands. “No! Yeah! I mean, I want to. I just…I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

You smiled at him with your hands on his thighs and it felt like they were burning prints into him. “I wanna do this, Mark, so don’t worry.”

Before he could process it, his hands were gripping onto dear life on the counter behind him, and you were tugging at his suit, pulling it down to find his boxers. Mark could hardly contain himself as your hands played with the waistband. “I can take these off?”

All he could do was nod, watching as you pulled them off of him, excruciatingly slow, and feeling the heat creep up heavy on his neck once they were.

The both of you had gotten awfully used to each other in the past month. You really couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. This hadn’t happened, however, and he felt so vulnerable as you just stared at him, already leaking at the tip as you wrapped your hands around.

“I’ll try my best.” You said, and Mark shouldn’t have looked down, because he was met with the sight of your eyes directed straight at him as you took the tip of his dick in your mouth.

A shiver ran down his spine as you played with it, moving your tongue and your hand to see what made him react positively, but Mark was so obsessed with you and everything that you did that there wasn’t a single part he didn’t find enjoyable.

He tried to bring himself to watch, but everytime his head would start reeling. He resorted to keeping his gaze on the ceiling most of the time, his hands gripping onto the counter behind him. “Fuck…” Is all that Mark managed to whisper in a shaky voice, trying not to make much noise.

You wanted him to make noise. It’s a habit of his that drives you the craziest. When he enjoys it so much he can’t help but resort to whining, pleading, begging. As you looked up at him, you were determined to hear that from him. Slowly, you took more of him in your mouth.

Mark shot to look down the deeper you went He was half concerned, knowing you had never done this before and not wanting you to hurt yourself, but the sight of you adjusting yourself to take more of him went straight to his core. “Y/n…love…slow down…” Mark stuttered, his hands white from how hard he was grasping onto the countertop.

You didn’t pay him any mind, continuing to work to hear those sweet sounds from him, inching more and more as you tried tips you had heard before. Hollow out your cheeks, swirl your tongue, make eye contact. As you looked up at Mark and his crumbling composure, you confirmed that the last one definitely made him the craziest.

You had maybe fit only a little more than half of him in, taking a few breaks to catch your breath as you relied on your hand, and Mark was right where you wanted him. Moans and whines mixed together as his body shaked, and he didn’t know what to do with his hands. Either you were exceptionally good at this for your first time, or Mark couldn’t believe it was you. Likely both.

After what seemed like forever, you finally felt him hit the back of your throat, and you kept your hand on what didn’t fit. A few tears pricked in your eyes, but you didn’t care. You were enjoying seeing Mark fall apart way too much.

You wondered what would happen if you bobbed your head even more, and so you did. It seemed that was the breaking point for you poor boyfriend as he shuddered, his hand on the back of your head, grabbing at with caution. “Y/n…God. You can’t…” Mark whined out, his body shaking even more.

You could, and you kept going until he was reduced to whines and pants and you could feel him twitching in your mouth. He hunched over, trying to guide you away. “Love…I’m gonna cum…I don’t wanna hurt you.”

You ignored all of his efforts, finding his words as an encouragement to only keep going more and more and more. Then, finally he let out one final moan that told you to expect the hot fluid that filled your mouth, and you tried your best to keep it all contained as you finally let it out with a pop.

Mark leaned down to you, his eyes wide as he realized what he had just done. “Baby, you don’t have to…” Mark began to say, but cut himself short as he watched you gulp, licking your thumb for the small bit that had dribbled out of your mouth. “Did you just…?”

You nodded, standing up to your feet and grabbing onto his arms, almost like you were trying to indicate something. Soon after, Mark's lips crashed on yours.

There was something so attractive about a man who kissed you senseless regardless of having just came in your mouth, unafraid of his own taste. It was even more attractive as he picked you up effortlessly, never breaking the kiss, and sitting you down on the sink. Not to mention the way he knew what you wanted, and what you wanted was him.

“Tell me if you need me to stop, Okay?” Mark whispered against your neck, his hands on your thighs as he planted kiss after kiss. Soon, they roamed to the hem of your shirt. “Can I take all of this off?”

You nodded, barely saying a small ‘yeah’ as he started undressing you like a present. First your shirt, your bra, your shorts, and saving your panties for last. Never taking his lips off of yours or anywhere on your body as he did so.

“You’re so pretty. So good to me.” Mark said, placing kisses all over your jawline, on your chest, on your stomach, wherever he could reach. “I love you so much, Y/n. My beautiful girl. I can’t believe I get to have you like this.”

“Mark…” you groaned, saying his name in the way he knows means you needed something more.

Mark kissed your shoulders, his hand going down to your clothed cunt, feeling how soaked through it already was. He slid them off, throwing them to the side with the rest of your clothes. “I know, love, I know. I just really wanna be inside you, is that alright with you?”

You nodded eagerly, “I have condoms in my drawer.” You told him.

“Wait here.” Mark said as he scurried off to find one. You could hear him opening every drawer, probably making a mess rummaging through your things and finally he stumbled back in. Mark ripped it open and slipped it on, going back in to place a deep but quick kiss on your lips.

“Come, I wanna try something,” He said, pulling you off the sink. You expected him to move locations, instead, he just turned you around, back against him as you faced the mirror.

“I…Is that okay…?” Mark asked timidly. “I just…I want you to see.”

If you weren’t losing your mind already, you were at that point. Your hand stretched out behind you for him, finding his face. “Yeah, it’s okay…just please, do it already.”

It was an offer he couldn’t resist and he was lining himself up with you before you knew it. “I don’t think I need to prep you, but…” He said, placing a kiss on your shoulder. “Tell me how you feel, love.”

It was your turn to grip onto the counter as you felt Mark slide in, bottoming out in you pretty easily. It was a new position and Mark was just girthy, but the both of you seemed adjusted after a few moments.

“Mark…please move,” you pleaded to your boyfriend, yearning for feel some type of friction. Mark wouldn’t stop kissing your shoulders, your back, your neck, as he started to give you the movement you wanted.

Every thrust felt enhanced in this position, and you could hardly hold yourself up. Mark always started slow, but once he started to get comfortable, his stamina would allow him to just go faster and faster until one of you came first.

This was no different and your head hung down as he started to pick up his pace. That is, until he used his free that wasn’t on your waist directing your movements to pick it up, holding it firm. He groaned in your ear, losing himself by the second as he spoke. “I…I want you to watch.”

The phrase went straight to your core, and you could only shudder as you did as he wanted. You watched as he went from looking at you in the mirror, down to where he was pumping in and out of you like his life depended on it. You watched his hand on your waist, directing you onto him.

Needless to say, neither of you were going to last very long in this position. Soon Mark was getting sloppier in his movements, and when he started pushing your back down, reaching even deeper than he already was, you knew you were close.

“Mark….I…I’m really close…” You panted, your legs shaking underneath you.

That seemed to only make your boyfriend go faster, giving you the last bit of everything he had. “So am I…we can cum together, love.”

Mark resorted to both hands on your hips as you reached your peak and it had sent you over the edge. You leaned on the counter riding out your orgasm meanwhile Mark felt your walls contract around him, and it only took a few more thrusts before he was right there with you.

He slipped out of you, throwing away the condom as he caught his breath, seeing you leaned over the counter.

A few seconds later, Mark was hooking his arm around you and under your knees, carrying you bridal style to your bed. You were still out of it as he sat you down, and it was beyond how he has the ability to walk around after that.

Mark had gone into the bathroom, and came back out with his boxers on, a wash cloth, and a fresh pair of clothes to help you change into.

Sex was great. With Mark it was amazing, actually. However, nothing felt as great as having a partner who takes care of you, who helps you clean up and change info new clothes, who you know loves you unconditionally because you’ve known him for years. And during all this time, he always treated you with the same dignity and devotion.

As Mark finished helping you slip on a hoodie, you grabbed his hands, looking down at them with a warm look in your eye. “You know, I still can’t believe how many times you tried to confess to me.” You told him with a giggle, recalling the story he told you about his trials and tribulations in finally telling you he loves you.

Mark knelt down, wanting to meet your eye level better. “I can’t either. I’m honestly surprised we’re here even now.”

“I’m not.” You answered. “I don’t know…I just always felt like one day we would. I always knew you’d be first to crack.”

Mark laughed, scooting closer to as his eyes stayed locked with yours. “I’m just grad I kept trying, because apparently the third time was the charm.”

“I took a leap of faith, and it gave me the love of my life.”

.   　˚　✭　*✦　.　‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ 　 ˚　.˚ ✭　.

- chapter 1

-chapter 2

[goldfades]

after some…recent events (damn u mavs) i NEEEDDD some luka 🙏🏾 maybe like a comfort or smut fic?

p.s you have kept me FEDDDD w ur wnba/nba fics ILY ILYYYY queen!! ❤️

i wasn't in a smutty mood so here's a hurt-to-comfort fic with luka <3 ily too nonnie!!! hope you enjoy.

The hotel room is too quiet. Too still.

Luka sits on the edge of the bed, hunched forward, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it’s personally wronged him. His hands are clasped together, fingers flexing every few seconds like he’s working through a hundred different thoughts and not landing on a single one. The soft glow of the bedside lamp casts long shadows over his face, catching the sharp lines of his jaw, the faint crease in his brow—the kind of details you wouldn’t normally notice when he’s laughing, talking, playing.

But he’s not doing any of that now.

You can still hear the echo of his phone vibrating on the nightstand from earlier. The world is spinning around him at full speed—headlines, analysts, fans dissecting every angle of the trade—but in here, in this dimly lit space that smells faintly of his cologne and something unshakably sad, it’s like time has stopped.

You step closer, carefully. Luka doesn’t look up, but you feel it when he notices you.

"You should be sleeping," he murmurs, voice rough around the edges.

"So should you," you counter, lowering yourself onto the mattress beside him. The bed dips under your weight, and for a second, neither of you speak. It’s not an uncomfortable silence. It’s just... heavy.

He exhales sharply through his nose, shaking his head. "Crazy, huh?"

You watch him for a moment. The way his fingers tighten around each other. The way his shoulders rise and fall, the weight of the entire day pressing down on him. You could say a lot right now—some perfectly crafted reassurance, something wise and comforting—but instead, you just lean in, resting your shoulder lightly against his.

A small gesture. A quiet offering.

Luka doesn’t move for a few seconds. Then, almost hesitantly, he shifts, just enough that his arm brushes against yours, just enough that he’s no longer holding quite so much of himself alone.

At first, Luka doesn’t say anything. He just breathes—slow, measured, like he’s trying to find a rhythm that makes sense, but it keeps slipping through his fingers. His hands unclasp, pressing against his thighs, then clench again like he doesn’t know what to do with them. The tension in his shoulders is impossible to ignore, so rigid and locked up that you wonder if he even realizes how much he’s holding in.

You don’t push him. Not yet.

Instead, you just sit there, close enough that he can feel your warmth, close enough that if he wanted to lean into you, he could.

After a long moment, he exhales, and it’s the kind of sigh that doesn’t fix anything, just deflates him further. His voice is quiet when he finally speaks, barely more than a breath.

“I didn’t think it would happen like this.”

You don’t need to ask what he means. The trade. The blindsiding weight of it. The way everything he thought he knew shifted beneath his feet in an instant.

“I get it’s a business,” he continues, jaw tensing. “I knew that. I always knew that.”

His voice drops lower, rougher.

“But I didn’t think I was leaving.”

And there it is.

The rawest part of it all. Not the move itself, not the logistics, not even the media whirlwind that’s been dissecting every angle of his future before he’s even had time to catch his breath. It’s the fact that he wasn’t ready. That for all the control he has on the court—for all the ways he makes the impossible look effortless—he had no say in this.

You swallow, watching the way his fingers twitch against his knee, like they want to grip something, hold onto something solid. You hesitate for only a second before reaching out, letting your hand rest over his. He doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t react at first. But you feel it—the way his muscles are wound tight beneath your touch, like a wire stretched to its limit.

“I don’t know how to say goodbye,” he murmurs, and this time, there’s something in his voice that makes your chest ache.

Goodbye.

It’s such a simple word, but it carries everything Luka isn’t saying. The years he’s spent in Dallas, the friendships, the routine, the city that had started to feel like home. He wasn’t just traded—he was uprooted. And now he’s supposed to pretend like it’s just part of the game. Smile for the cameras. Say all the right things.

But right now, in this room, there’s no script to follow.

“You don’t have to,” you tell him softly.

His brows draw together slightly, finally glancing at you, like he’s trying to figure out what you mean.

“You don’t have to say goodbye, not yet. Not tonight.” You squeeze his hand, just lightly. “Just—be here. Just for now.”

Luka stares at you, like he’s waiting for the catch. Waiting for you to tell him to suck it up, to move on, to think about the future. But you don’t. You just meet his gaze, steady, unwavering, until he finally exhales, something in him loosening just a fraction.

His hand turns beneath yours, fingers wrapping around yours like he’s holding onto an anchor. His grip is warm, firm—not desperate, but grounding. Like he’s only just realizing he doesn’t have to hold all of this alone.

For the first time all night, his shoulders drop slightly.

And you stay like that, in the quiet, just breathing.

Not fixing. Not rushing. Just existing. Together.

Luka doesn’t let go of your hand. If anything, his grip tightens, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away first, like he’s testing the weight of the comfort you’re offering and deciding, for once, to accept it.

His fingers are warm against yours, slightly rough from years of handling a basketball, but there’s something uncertain about the way he’s holding on—like he’s not used to being the one who needs this. Luka is always the one keeping others steady, the one playing through injuries, the one flashing a grin even when his body is screaming for rest. But this? Sitting here, holding your hand, letting himself lean into something softer—this is different.

Slowly, hesitantly, he shifts. His body turns toward you, his knee brushing against yours. His breathing is steady but measured, like he’s still figuring out if he’s allowed to ask for more.

You don’t make him. You just open the door.

Without saying anything, you lift your arm slightly, just enough that it’s clear you’re not just sitting beside him—you’re offering. And for a second, you don’t know if he’ll take it.

But then Luka exhales, long and slow, and leans in.

His weight presses into your side, warm and solid, his forehead dropping to your shoulder like it belongs there. He’s not shaking, not crying, but there’s something heavy in the way he melts against you, like he’s been holding himself together with sheer force of will and finally, finally, he’s allowing himself to let go.

Your free hand comes up instinctively, resting against his back. You can feel the tension still coiled in his muscles, like he doesn’t quite know how to relax, even now. So you let your fingers move in slow, steady circles against the fabric of his hoodie, not rushing, not forcing. Just there. Just present.

Luka exhales again, this time through his nose, and you feel it—the way his body slowly starts to ease. The way his head shifts slightly, resting more fully against you.

“This is stupid,” he mutters, but there’s no bite to his words. Just exhaustion.

“It’s not,” you say simply, your voice soft.

He huffs, but he doesn’t argue. If anything, he leans in a little more.

The room settles into something quieter. Something almost peaceful. Outside, the world is still moving, still spinning with headlines and speculation and expectations Luka isn’t ready to deal with. But in here, it’s just the two of you. Just warmth. Just the quiet weight of the moment.

And then, in a voice so low you almost don’t catch it, he murmurs, “Stay.”

The word is barely there, more breath than sound, but it lands like a tether, anchoring the space between you. You don’t answer right away—not because you’re unsure, but because you want him to feel it, to know that you’re not leaving.

Instead, you shift just slightly, adjusting so he’s more comfortable, your hand still moving in slow, steady motions against his back.

“I’m here,” you say, and that’s all he needs.

Luka exhales one more time, a little softer now, a little less heavy. And for the first time since the news broke, he lets his eyes close.

--

Los Angeles feels different.

It’s not just the time zone or the weather or the way the city hums with an energy that never quite fades. It’s the way everything is unfamiliar—the drive to the training facility, the locker room that still smells like someone else’s cologne, the weight of a jersey that doesn’t feel like his yet.

Two days ago, he was in Dallas. Now, he’s here.

And now, he’s supposed to be fine.

The press conference had gone as well as it could have. The reporters asked the same questions over and over—how does it feel to be a Laker? What does he think about playing with LeBron? What does he want to say to the fans in Dallas?

Luka answered all of them the way he was supposed to. He smiled in the right places, gave the right amount of gratitude, even threw in a joke or two to lighten the mood. But the second it was over, the second the cameras were off and he was back in the hallway leading to the parking garage, he felt it creeping in again.

That feeling.

That hollow, misplaced feeling, like he’s wearing someone else’s life.

You’re already waiting by the car when he steps outside, leaning casually against the passenger door like you have all the time in the world. And maybe you do. Maybe that’s why he exhales just a little when he sees you, some of the tightness in his chest loosening.

You don’t ask how it went. You don’t need to. He appreciates that.

Instead, you just nod toward the car. “You wanna get out of here?”

Luka huffs, running a hand through his hair. “Thought you’d never ask.”

The drive is quiet at first. The city moves around you in golden streaks of headlights and neon signs, the sky just beginning to settle into that deep LA dusk. Luka shifts in his seat, one elbow against the door, fingers resting against his lips like he’s lost in thought.

Then, finally—

“It still doesn’t feel real.”

His voice is softer than usual, like he’s saying it more to himself than to you.

You glance over but don’t say anything right away. Instead, you let the silence sit for a moment, let it breathe.

Then: “Because it isn’t. Not yet.”

Luka looks over at you, his gaze heavy but searching. “And if it never does?”

You tap your fingers against the steering wheel, considering. “Then you figure it out. Day by day. Until one day, it does.”

He doesn’t respond immediately. Just watches the city blur past, the weight of everything pressing down on him in a way you can feel, even from where you’re sitting.

And then, after a long moment, he nods. Just barely.

When you pull up to his new place—a sleek but unfamiliar house in the Hollywood Hills—Luka doesn’t move to get out right away. Instead, he sighs, rubbing a hand down his face before turning to you.

“You coming in?”

It’s not really a question. Not really an ask.

It’s more of a need. A quiet, unspoken need for something familiar.

You don’t hesitate.

The house is big but empty, boxes still stacked in the hallway, a duffel bag half-unpacked near the couch. Luka walks in and immediately shrugs off his jacket, tossing it over the back of a chair before dropping onto the couch with a heavy exhale.

For a moment, you just watch him. The way he leans his head back, staring up at the ceiling like it might hold some kind of answer he hasn’t figured out yet.

Then, without thinking too hard about it, you sit beside him, close enough that your knee brushes against his. Luka doesn’t react right away, but then—slowly, naturally—he shifts.

Not dramatically. Not obviously. But enough.

Enough that his shoulder presses into yours, enough that his body angles slightly toward you, enough that he lets out a breath he probably didn’t even realize he was holding.

And just like that, it’s familiar again.

Not Dallas. Not the way things used to be.

But something.

Something solid. Something real.

And for now, that’s enough.

[loderlied]

constantly sitting here with The Guilt like ‘i know i’ve massively fucked up somehow but i just haven’t realised it yet’ it’s truly like sitting on train tracks with no train in sight… you know it’s coming though

[mayordea]

“go on, praise me like a god!”

[james-spooky]

this is a test