#would you like with me and just forget the world

[cassdrawsthings]

God, that was my whole fucking childhood in a nutshell.

You know what I love about it?

I've made a list.

Won't you take a moment to read about all of the things I love?

I think you'll enjoy it

I'm excited to share things with you :D

Love being gaslit into thinking that every single problem is a problem with me.

Love being constantly abused by society every single step of the way.

Love being psychologically tortured non-stop for literal years by peers who treated it as a sport.

I wish I could make friends

Love being psychologically tortured non-stop for years by adults out of spite that I went to for help.

Love having my joy and sense of wonderment beaten out of me during a time of nurturing.

What did I do wrong?

Love living as an adult in a child's body.

Was it something I said?

I love every attempt at human connection and every attempt to share my interests being aggressively rejected and being punished for even trying.

I love how it was seen as especially noble that I would spend time with the nonverbal autistic kids trying to find new ways to communicate with them when they were among the very few who seemed to understand me.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to bother you

I love seeing nonverbal autistic kids being seen as obnoxious lumps of flesh incapable of thought or agency by people who make no real attempt to adapt to their needs.

I love being told I have no sense of empathy by people who act like unfeeling psychopaths towards me when I dare to simply exist around them.

I love being called a retard by my classmates for struggling to use spoken language under stress.

I love being pushed to the point of abject desperation, being backed into a corner and drowning in abuse and neglect and isolation and feeling completely and utterly hopeless.

Please just leave me alone

I love having my desperate struggle for basic survival labeled as "anger issues."

I love having nobody to turn to for company but my pet cat.

I love crying myself to sleep every night.

I love spending every day yearning to return to the before times, hoping that everything is just a horrible nightmare and that I would wake up one day in a kind world.

I love being disappointed every time.

I love waking up into different variations of the same horrible, traumatic day instead.

Over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

Please, I'm trying my best

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

I love losing hope.

I love wondering why I had any to begin with.

I love trying to run away and making it a block before breaking down and sobbing alone in the cold winter rain.

And over.

And over.

And over. What do you want from me

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

I loAnd over.

Ov

Er.

I love forgetting how it feels to have the gentle wAnd over.armth of sunlight on your skin.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And ovI love accepting that this horrible, cold, lonely tunnel is my new life.er.

And over.

And over. Please I just want an honest friend

And over. I just want to be loved

I love accepting that there is no light at the end of this tunnel.

And over.

And over.

And over And over

And over I love you Lula, you're such a good kitty

And over I love that you spend time with me

And over thank you for being a warm, gentle thing

And over for me to hold close to my heart

And over. Such a sweetie

And over.

And over.

And over. Such a kind soul

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

I love holding my stuffed animals close and sobbing as I apologize over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and without even knowing what I'm apologizing for. and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over. I have poured so much love into my stuffed

And over. animals

And over.

And over. Maybe someday I will have that love

And over. returned to me

And over.

And over. and I won't be so sad

And over.

And over.

I love having the school's principal, the only adult in my life that would extend kindness and understanding to me, being out sick for days without explanation.

And over.

And over. Lula's fur is so silky soft

And over.

I love the pain turning to a dull, crushing ache.

And over.

And over. It's a good soft texture in a world of

And over. bad textures and bad people

I love days turning to weeks.

And over.

And over.

A

I love becoming desensitized

And over please get better soon it's gotten so bad

And oer please come back I'm begging you

A d ov r

I love weeks turning to months.

I love becoming depersonalized.

And over.

And over.

And over.

I love the temporary substitute.

And over.

And over.

I love how I'm a problem to solve.

And over.

I love being told he's getting better.

I love being lied to.

I love being gaslit up until the day of his death.

I love begging God for just five minutes to say my goodbyes and thank him for everything he did for me.

I love getting no reply.

I love dreaming of monsters pretending to be him.

I love waking up to monsters pretending to be him.

And overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAm I in hell?And overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd over

I love giving up.

I love having nothing left to live for.

I'm so sorry

I tried my best

It wasn't good enough

Maybe it's my fault after all

Maybe I didn't deserve life in the first place

I love walking home with my sister and the dipshit neighbor boy.

I love that not even the walk home from school will grant me peace.

I love how he's a total asshole all the time to me for no fucking reason at all.

I love when I finally snap.

I love deciding that I'm done with all of it.

Maybe this is my freedom

I love trying to jump into traffic.

I loveAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAHell would be better than this.And overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd over

And being pulled out of traffic by my sister

I lovenot to stop me from killing myself

I love ovbut because it seemed like I was just being a complete impulsive spaz like always with no self control

erIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyIloveyoululakittyI

I love you Lula kitty more than anyone else in the whole wide world, thank you for letting me talk and listening to me and not being mean to me

I love being stuck here

I love being trapped

I love being denied even the kindness of death

I lo

Ilo

I love breaking my arm and getting a silver sharpie in the hopes that someone will sign it.

I love that nobody ever did.

I

No

ilha

Over and over and over and over and No.

I love I've fucking had it

Į løvè being crushingly alone

I love I've absolutely fucking had it I'm done with this

I love You know what I have bent over backwards and

I love done everything I can to destroy everything

I love about myself that brings me joy just so that

I love feeling the warm light return.

I love you would allow me to exist and survive

I love getting lost in imaginary worlds on the computer that let me pretend I live in something other than this godawful fucking torture chamber where every sound stabs into me like knives and every texture rips at my skin like knives and everything is trying to cut me to pieces like I tried to kill myself when it became clear that I could not so much as breathe wi autistic retard stupid useless piece of shit crybaby anger issues retard retard retard stupid idiot retard can't spell words out loud stop being such a fucking crybaby all the time retard freak retard retard retard degenerate piece of garbage annoying piece of shit thout being torn down and beaten into submission

I love it turning into a harsh, dry, burning feeling.

I love when people leave me alone and let me draw in What do you want from me peace.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME

I TRIED TO GIVE UP MY LIFE FOR YOU AND YOU WOULD NOT TAKE EVEN THAT

DO YOU THINK MY ENTIRE FUCKING EXISTENCE IS JUST TO BE YOUR AMUSING LITTLE PUNCHING BAG

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU CAN'T TELL ME TO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET ANYMORE WHEN YOU WILL NOT FUCKING LET ME

I'VE FUCKING HAD IT

NO, THIS IS NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM

IT IS NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM THAT MY ABILITY TO LIVE MY FUCKING LIFE IS SUCH A MASSIVE ISSUE FOR YOU

I'M FUCKING SICK OF ALL OF YOU AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE

YOU CANNOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU CANNOT MAKE ME SIT STILL AND BE QUIET

YOU CAN TORMENT ME, BEAT ME, HARASS ME, CALL ME STUPID STUPID RETARD FUCKUP STUPID ANNOYING HAHA YOU SPILLED YOUR MILK AT LUNCH AND GOT UPSET AND EVERYONE SAW AND IT WAS EMBARRASSING AND ALL YOU WANTED WAS FOR PEOPLE TO STOP LOOKING AT YOU AND

I love IT'S SOOOO FUNNY THAT WE CAN SET YOU OFF JUST BY SAYING MILK NOW HAHAHAHA HAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAA HAHAHA

BUT YOU CANNOT FUCKING CONTROL ME ANYMORE

I love my lula-boo, my sweet little kitty understands me.

I love how even an animal is capable of more kindness and empathy than you people.

I love that I'm fucking allowed to rock if I want to.

I love deciding that I am not the fucking problem and if people want to have a problem it is theirs to fucking deal with.

I love trying to hit someone that was trying to hurt to me and being punched in the stomach as hard as he could manage.

I love crumpling onto the cold metal grating in agonizing pain and struggling to breathe while the teacher yells at me for being late to line up.

I love deciding that I can just make myself throw up and go home for the day because I'm sick.

I love that You can't fucking stop me. What are you going to do. What could you possibly do to me that's worse than the last five years of And overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd. Do you think I care anymore? Do you think I have anything left to lose?

I love that What, I can't even share the time of day with you people without someone hitting me or telling me to shut up and nobody cares about your stupid fucking Mario games. And you expect me to fall in line and write kind words for my classmates just because they're honored student of the month?

I love that Maybe I'll have some kind words for them when they stop tormenting me and fucking apologize.

I love that Fine. Send me to the fucking principal's office. See what I care about being removed from this situation.

I love that Maybe I'll have some kind words for them when they realize what they've done to me and understand how I feel.

I love that Maybe I'll have some kind words for them when they're the ones trying to kill themselves for once to escape their burden of guilt.

What happens at the end of eternity?

I love that I'm so desensitized to suicidal thoughts that it's not even a taboo subject to me anymore. It's just the fond childhood memories to me at this point.

I love being followed for years.

I love glancing over my shoulder and seeing it close behind every time.

I love having my experiences denied for years.

I love people shrugging it off.

I love being told that they did everything they could but their hands were tied.

I love being a scarred, mutilated corpse of a person for the rest of my life.

I love that I can't share about my special interests without constant flashes of anxiety that I'm going to get yelled at.

I love that I constantly have to worry that maybe this is all just a lie and that they're just putting up with me and that it's the same as always.

I love being told things will get better by people who do nothing to make it so.

I love being told that they can't do much for me now but I'll do great in college.

I love that I have no recourse for what happened.

I love being an unfortunate case that shouldn't have happened but they can't do anything about it.

I love being told that people in the school administration were made aware of my case and that they're going to try to make adjustments to stop it from happening again.

I love not being asked for my thoughts.

I love that nonverbal autistic children are still in the same Special Ed class they've always been in.

I love that they're still treated as obnoxious lumps of meat without agency or worth.

I love being told things are better.

I love how the scars remain.

I love the flashbaWHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME LET ME OUT LET ME OUTcks.

I love being told that "low-functioning autistics" have other issues and not everybody is ready for the same kind of dignity and fair treatment and respect.

I love that I'm too autistic to be treated with dignity and too good at masking to be given accomodations.

I love having the nightmares.

I love dreaming of monsters pretending to be him.

I love having to relive those five yearsAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAHell would be better than this.And overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd overAnd over in my dreams.

I love how nothing is wrong now.

I love how the majority of my life has been spent emotionally-dead and completely isolated out of fear.

I love living in the same room that I spent so many years weeping in.

I love being haunted by the ghost of a sobbing, lonely child.

I love worrying about if I'm allowed to flap and rock around.

I love worrying if people think I'm weird for touching the cloth and clothing in the store to feel its texture when it looks nice.

I love worrying if it's okay to mention that a sound is hurting my ears.

I love worrying if I'm allowed to share my interests with people.

I love worrying about whether people will start to do it again.

I love being an adult in a child's body.

I love being a child in an adult's body.

I love being gaslit.

I love hearing the piercing fluorescent whine.

I love seeing the disorienting fluorescent flicker.

I love the cold, gross light cast upon everything I can see.

I love the resigned expressions on people's faces when I tell them about it.

I love the fond childhood memories it stirs up.

I love the lamp.

I cannot stop thinking about the lamp.

I know nothing of the lamp but it consumes me nonetheless.

I love living in a prison of my own flesh.

I love being a child in an adult's body.

I miss you, Lula.

growing up autistic / growing up gaslit

I.

this is the first lesson you learn: you are always wrong.

there is no electric hum buzzing through the air. there is no stinging bite to the sweetness of the mango. there is no bitter metallic tang to the water.

there is no cruelty in their laughter, no ambiguity in the instructions, no reason to be upset. there is no bitter aftertaste to your sweet tea, nothing scratchy about your blanket.

the lamps glow steadily. they do not falter.

II.

this is the second lesson you learn: you are never right.

you are childish, gullible, overly prone to tears. you are pedantic, combative, deliberately obtuse. you are lazy, unreliable, never on time.

you’re always making up excuses, rudely interrupting, stepping on people’s shoes. you’re always trying to get attention, never thinking about anyone else, selfish through and through.

it’s you that’s the problem. the lamps are fine.

III.

this is the third lesson you learn: you must always give in.

mother knows best. father knows best. doctor knows best. teacher knows best. this is the proper path. do not go astray.

listen to your elders, respect your betters, accept what’s given to you as your due. bow to the wisdom of experience, the education of the professional, the clarity of an external point of view.

what do you know about lamps, anyway?

[tsukii0002]

I'd like to request a situation where the brothers react to MC doing that trend about girls calling their boyfriend "husband" in front of people. For example

*MC and a bother (any) are at a restaurant and a waiter has come to take their order*

MC: so I'd like this and this, and my *husband* (pointing at the brother) would like-

The brother: *melting inside and panicking*

Then they'll bug MC for the entire day, maybe even week

<3

Hi! , thanks for the suggestion, I loved thinking about these situations. I hope you like it.

Warning: I wasn't sure how to write these situations so the formatting may be a bit messy, and in this case Mc is the same person as the reader.

Lucifer

You had invited Lucifer to the human world, to one of your favorite coffee shops where you were already known, to give the eldest of the brothers a break. When the waitress approached you, she recognized you immediately.

Waitress: Hello Mc! Good to see you, who is with you today?

Mc: Hi, this is my husband.

The only thing that changed in his expression was a slight blush on his cheeks, but from under the table he reached for your hand to squeeze it tightly. The waitress smiled mischievously and after leaving the menu she left. Then Lucifer's face colored more and he caught you in his arms. You could see the adoration and embarrassment on his face.

Lucifer: Should we stay here for a few days my spouse?

Mammon

You had gone to the cinema with Mammon, he was a bit discouraged because he had just lost money at the casino, so although he had accepted he was rather quiet. You went ahead to order the drinks.

Employee: What are you going to order?

Mc: Oh, I'll have the demon combo and for my husband the spicy combo.

You saw how the demon's skin bristled, as if an electric shock had hit him. He looked at you wide-eyed, his face very red, repeatedly opening and closing his mouth without saying anything. You paid and went to the screening room, he kept covering his face the whole time.

Mc: *smiling* Is something wrong?

Mammon: You... *still blushing* say it again…

Mc: What do you want me to say again husband?

Mammon: *shyly* Don't forget it ok? *hugging you tightly* I'm your husband and you're my spouse.

Levi

A package had arrived for Levi, he asked you to take it even though he was following you very closely. The delivery man didn't seem sure it was yours.

Delivery man: Is it for you?

Mc: No, no, it's for my husband.

You could feel a high-pitched squeal. Levi felt his body stop working, and soon he was a mess, opening and closing his mouth trying to say something with no success. He had to have misheard, there was no way you could have called him that, was there?

Levi: A- Aaa… *stammering* Are you serious???

Mc: Of course.

Levi: For real ???? Are you sure??!!

Mc: *laughing* Yes xrubbing his nose* now could my husband help me with this????

Levi: New achievement unlocked!!!! You have been promoted to husband!!! *looking at you with crystalline eyes* I promise not to disappoint you… spouse…

Satan

Satan had asked you to accompany him to an event, the place was full of the demon's acquaintances and he was so busy greeting them all, that you ended up talking to one or twi.

Random Demon: Where do you know Satan from?

Mc: Oh, he's my husband.

Satan, a few steps away from you, kept talking for a moment and then stopped, turned very slowly to look at you with an expression of being very afraid that he had imagined those words. But when you smiled, his face instantly flushed. Trying to remain calm, with trembling hands, he ended the conversation quickly and approached you, taking your hands.

Satan: You…

Mc: Is something wrong *grinning*, my husband?

Satan took a breath while looking at the ground ashamed, all the demons nearby were watching. He let the air out and slowly pulled himself together while hugging you.

Satan: Nothing is wrong *smiling* spouse, let's enjoy this evening.

Asmo

You were out partying with Asmo, and, as usual, your demon was already surrounded by fans and admirers. Everyone was clamoring for his attention and it was clear that Asmo enjoyed the attention he was getting, so you simply smiled when a demon approached you.

Demon: Asmo is your friend right?

Mc: Asmo? *raising your voice* he's my husband.

Asmo's cheeks lit up and his whole body seemed to glow even brighter. He brought his hands to his face, everyone was impressed, the confident Asmo was beautiful but the embarrassed Asmo was an equally pleasing sight. You walked over and held out your hand.

Mc: We should go home *smiling* husband?

Asmo rushed into your arms and started kissing you, while the color in his cheeks became more and more accentuated.

Asmo: What have I done to deserve you? I love you so much Mc.

Mc: Just that?

Asmo: *shaking his head* I love you with all my being… spouse.

Beel

Beel had offered to accompany you on some errands related to the sorcerers' society. While you were talking to some of them he was watching you carefully. But some of those eyes were fixed on him.

Sorcerer: Is he…? You know…

Mc: Oh? Beel? He's my husband.

The eyes of the sorcerers opened wide while Beel, took a few seconds to assimilate your words and immediately became very red, He looked at the ground did not know where to look. His hands were moving without finding a position and he had started to sweat.

Mc: Isn't it true?

Beel slowly looked into your eyes before looking back down at the ground, with that embarrassed puppy face, as he nodded silently, but with a big smile. You moved closer and he put his arm around you protectively as he leaned down to caress your cheek with his own.

Beel: So if I'm your husband… that makes you my spouse, right? *radiant smile*

Belphie

You and Belphie were lying in the attic, Belphie was half asleep while you were on a video call with your friends in the human world.

Friend: Oh Mc, is someone there?

Mc: Yes, this is Belphie *showing him with the camera* My husband.

Belphie's sleep faded instantly, and he looked at you with wide eyes, you smiled at him while your friends screamed in excitement, then he pouted a little while his cheeks lit up.

Friends: Why didn't you tell us any-

Without thinking he snatched the phone from you and cut the call, hiding in the crook of your neck. He squeezed your hand and looked at you, looking angry but unable to hide his embarrassment or excitement.

Belphie: So I had a spouse and I didn't know about it?

Mc: I don't know...*pushes his bangs aside* maybe I was wrong?

Belphie: No *hugging you tightly* only I am your husband, and you are going to have this husband forever… remember that.

.

.

Hi, I realized that I had a few finished requests that I had left in drafts *internal scream* 🙃 how can I be so forgetful!!?? I will upload them during the next few days, so I'm really sorry to those who asked for them. Another thing is that I was extending the situations as the brothers are passing, well Lucifer is the most popular (?) so it's fine 🙄.

If you've read this far thank you very much 🩷.

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[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Epilogue: Part One [Boulevard of Broken Dreams]

Summary: You received a call you and Bradley Bradshaw have been waiting on for what felt like a decade. Jakes mother causes a scene as worry consumes you. And does Jake want the very thing that put him in the hospital in the first place?

Warnings: Jake Seresin Whump. Mentions of Religion. F!reader x Jake Seresin. Angst, Mother-in-law issues. F-18 crash. Bad Medical representation.

Word Count: 6.2k

Author Note: EEEPPPPP we're almost there. this is the chapter EVERYONE has been waiting for. Just what the hell is going on! Please don't forget to let me know what you think.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

December 23rd 

Your genetic makeup, the genes that you inherit from your parents, determines who you are biologically. They’re your blueprint so to speak. Everything from your eye colour to your height to your laugh. Even some diseases like asthma, diabetes, and various cancers. 

But who you are at the core of it all goes far beyond your genetic makeup. Who you really are is the result of many, many things: How you deal with fear. Who you surround yourself with. And how you show up when it matters most. 

The sea breeze was a gentle reminder of how quickly life could change in the blink of an eye. As you walked along the sand with small, barely there waves lapping at your ankles, the sight of families running after beach umbrellas and holding down sandy towels after the sudden gust of wind came through and caused a disturbance, really made you smile. Smiles were a treasure that was few and far between. It had been for months. 

The somewhat sunny day was shrouded in the unknown. Chronic winds continued to wreak havoc on unsuspecting families just trying to enjoy their weekend. A storm was brewing off the coast. But for you, something much more life-altering was wreaking havoc. Something all-encompassing and certifiably depressing was eating away at your soul. 

Your boyfriend and the love of your life had been severely injured in a work accident just over two months ago. His mother is certifiably insane and clearly doesn’t like you even existing on the same planet as her son… and his best friend hasn’t left you alone in what felt like a century. 

But who were you to compare tragedies on this fine, sunny day? 

“There you are!” The second you heard that agitating, grading voice, you rolled your eyes so hard you could have fallen into the shallows. The flightless bird you knew as Bradley Bradshaw was racing after you, making his presence known along the shore as he ran to catch up. “God, you had me worried for a second there. I was talking to Sue for like five seconds and you were just gone.” 

“Some bodyguard you are,” you huffed as Bradley finally caught up to you. It wasn’t that you didn't like Rooster, it was more about the fact he felt obligated to keep an eye on you given the circumstances. “How is Sue anyway?” 

“Uh–” Bradley looked back over his shoulder hesitantly to see the woman he’d been dating for the last few weeks walking away. “I don’t think we'll be seeing Sue much anymore.” It was all the explanation you needed. And if you were to be completely honest you didn’t blame the women. Who wants to fight for attention with a man whose sole responsibility these days was to keep his best friend's unborn children safe? 

“You should be paying more attention to the women you’re trying to sleep with you know,” you replied as you kept walking down the pristine beach. The place that had become a home away from home. “I’ve told you, I don’t need a babysitter. We’re good, I promise.” 

It had been an unspoken understanding since meeting Jake’s wingman that Rooster would look after you if anything were ever to happen to Jake. It went both ways for the two aviators from hell. Although at times the pair couldn’t be in the same room as one another without starting World War Three, it was a given that they would always be there for the other’s loved ones. It was brotherhood in its finest and rawest form. 

But it was driving you mad. 

“Jake wouldn’t–” Bradley tried to explain, but you’d heard this explanation too many times by this point. So much so you could finish Rooster’s sentence for him. 

“‘Jake wouldn’t forgive you if something were to happen to me’, I know I know,” you huffed again. Your right hand came down to rest across your growing bump. Two little souls were currently using your internal system as their personal development grove. Two little Seresin babies that were as unexpected as they were blessed— or at least, to you. “But you– for as much as I appreciate everything you have and will continue to do for us Rooster– are driving me insane.” 

“Too bad,” couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled you into his side. His arm slung over your shoulders before you could even protest his actions. “You’re Jake’s girl and Jake’s not here so therefore I gotta do what I gotta do and that my dear Y/n–” Bradley paused for a second before he continued just like the small waves that lapped at your ankles. Fear threatened to overcome Rooster’s nervous system. Yet, fending off fight or flight mode, he continued. Playing the role you needed him to be: Caregiver brick wall extraordinaire. “---Is to be right here, by your side, until that idiot wakes up.” 

They say time heals most wounds. And for the majority of people that saying is pretty spot on. But for Jake Seresin, that hadn’t been the case. Jake had been in an induced coma for weeks after his near-death accident. The experienced aviator was no match for the panic attack that took him hostage mid-training exercise. His body currently lay battered, burnt and bruised in the Miramar Base Hospital in the intensive care unit. His soul remained trapped inside the mind you sometimes hated to love and loved to hate. 

And when Doctors tried to wake him from the state they’d put him into in order to heal…he didn’t wake up. 

That was back in November…It was now approaching Christmas Day and still, there was no sign of Jake waking from his coma. He’d battled and fought what seemed like everything the world could throw at him: Broken bones. Third-degree burns. A swollen brain. Organ damage. Pneumonia. You name it and Jake had battled it. 

He was a fighter. Someone who was going to fight until he had nothing left. Doctors assured you there was brain activity. A good indication of a recovery.

But when he would wake was entirely up to him…

“Some idiot huh?” you teased playfully at your boyfriend’s expense. But the reality of the situation was that with every passing day, with every complication or turn of events, you missed Jake more and more. “He’s coming out the other side of the phenomena though, which is a good sign.” 

Bradley walked by your side as the two of you debriefed about what the day would bring. First, you needed to shower and change into something that wasn’t kissed by the salty air of the beach you liked to walk along every morning. It helped you clear your head from all the noise. Since Jake’s accident, your head hadn’t been quiet. Voices echoed all day long inside your mind about what you could be doing better, more of. What you could have done differently.

Sometimes those voices would grow louder and stronger the longer you tried to avoid them. However, averting your gaze and pretending the voices didn’t exist was a harder task than first thought…especially when the voices that escaped your mind were coming from Jake’s mother. 

That self-proclaimed holier than thou mother fu—

Next, you needed to eat something. You hadn’t had much of an appetite your entire pregnancy. Bradley liked to think it was because of the additional stress Jake’s hospitalisation had caused. You knew he’d say something if you didn’t at least try to consume something of substance. 

And finally, to you, the most important part of the list of to-do’s, was to get over to Miramar Base Hospital and see the man who’d captivated your entire heart. The goal every day besides growing two human lives was to be by Jake's side. 

Even if at the end of the day the result of all this turmoil and trauma was a breakup you knew his mother was already actively praying for, you’d still be able to say you weren’t the one who walked away. 

“Come on,” Bradley gently placed his arm around your shoulders. “Let’s get outta here. I’m sure Jake’s waiting for us.”

“His mother will be there,” you said without hesitation. There was a frustrated sadness in your voice. A longing for privacy. A declaration for peace. You knew Bradley was aware of the hostile relationship between the two of you, he'd been present for a few altercations. But you also knew he was right and Jake would want you there if you could be.  And it was a could-be day. For both you and Rooster. “I was thinking maybe we could go a little later in the day, give her some time alone–”

“Y/n?” 

Yeah?” You knew what was coming, it felt like the two of you had had this same exact conversation every day for the past four weeks. 

“You’re the mother of Jake’s soon-to-be twins. He’d want you there more than Janise.” 

“It’s Janeen, Roo,” you grinned to yourself as you looked down at your growing bump with a loving hand resting over your belly button. “And Hell would probably freeze over before she realises that.” 

“I thought you weren’t a religious person?” Rooster frowned momentarily as he searched his brain for any conversational remarks he may have missed in passing that would have led him to forget your religious values. He wasn’t a God-loving man himself, but there had to be something out there, right?

“I’m not.” You had never followed a religion or its practices, but the longer the love of your life remained in a coma after sustaining life-threatening injuries, the more you were open to whatever religious being extended a helping hand first. Including but not limited to Satan. You’d sell your soul in a heartbreak to bring Jake back. “But a girl can dream, can’t she?” 

Your non-religious self-awareness was the deciding factor when it came to Janeen not accepting you. Ever since Jake had brought you home to his parents one winter break back in your college days, you knew it was a battle not worth fighting. 

You were the girl who got away. The rogue agent. The true crime writer with an appetite for knowledge and literature. Jake was the aspiring college football star turned Naval Aviator. 

Jake broke it off in the spring before he went to basic. You wanted roots and stability he at the time couldn’t offer. He was off to see the world and the world would be his oyster. You couldn’t stand in the way of that no matter how much you believed Jake Seresin was the one for you. 

You knew Janeen was over the moon with joy and delight that her precious boy had come home to his faith and exiled the woman who was leading him down a road of treacherous sin. 

Get the fuck outta here. 

It wasn’t until about a year or so ago that you and Jake reconnected after he’d come back from a mission that had him staring death right in the face and questioning what he had to look back on. 

All he saw was you in that library at college smiling across at him while explaining that Christmas was fake. Something his mother would have burnt him at the stake for believing. 

So, Jake called. And like a love-sick loser, you came running from across the country. Rhode Island was your home, but wherever Jake Seresin was in the world was where your heart would be. 

“I bet she cries herself to sleep at night more over the fact you and Hangman are having children out of wedlock than she cries over the fact he nearly died,” Bradley growled. 

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” you replied as a gust of wind picked up a beach umbrella in the distance. “I’m something straight out of the book of the damned, Bradshaw. The idea of us having a child together, let alone twins, took twenty years off her life.” 

“Jake would have loved to see her face when you told her,” Bradley chuckled. Then he cleared his throat and did his best to steer the conversation back on track. “We still have to go to the hospital.”

Reluctantly, you agreed. “Fine, but you’re taking me to get a muffin from Bells Bakery first,” you said all the while Rooster rolled his eyes. You knew he couldn’t say no. How do you say no to a pregnant lady who just wants a sweet little treat before spending hours in the same room as your comatose boyfriend and his overbearingly religious mother? You don’t. You don’t say no, you simply nod in agreement. 

*************************

Every disease has its unique course it takes in the body when left untreated. The process begins with exposure to a root cause that sends a ripple effect throughout the body. The disease then progresses, ultimately resolving in one of three possible outcomes…

You get better, you stay chronically ill, or you die. 

The weather had taken a drastic turn since you and Rooster left the beach earlier that morning. The slightly overcast and windy day brought in a nice north-easterly storm. Rain was the only thing that filled the silence as you sat waiting patiently. You caught yourself thinking of what you’d give to hear Jake’s voice before the new year. 

The carefully cultivated interior design of Bradley’s Bronco was something straight out of every single bachelor’s wet dream. This car was what you expected the inside of his soul to look like. And if you were to ever become anything like Jake’s Mother, you’d think this car would be Bradley’s version of a perfect heaven. 

Then, like a premonition, your phone rang, splitting the quiet like lightning through a dark sky. 

"Hi, Y/n,” Doctor Hughes sounded rather cheerful as you sat in the passenger seat of Bradley’s Bronco. 

“It appears that our dear friend is waking up," his voice was urgent but steady. For a moment, your mind stumbles, caught between disbelief and hope. Then you’re moving — grabbing keys, kicking on your sandals, heart pounding louder than an engine roaring to life.

“Rooster?” you whispered as you clambered out of the parked Bronco. The curb hated to see a Bradshaw coming. “I’ll be there as soon as I can!” You awkwardly spoke into your phone before hanging up without hesitation. There was no time to waste on small talk. Jake was waking up. 

The world outside blurred into streaks of light and shadow as you walked as fast as you could, each passing second stretched thin by desperation. Memories flashed — hospital visits, whispered promises, tear-soaked prayers, or whatever bullshit Jake’s mother insisted on mumbling. 

“Rooster!?” you yelled as panic, fear, and anxiety overcame your nervous system. “Bradshaw?” you yelled once more as you entered the small locally owned bakery..

“Hey, what’s wrong? I just ordered a coffee to go and your apple cinnamon muffin.,” Rooster could tell by the look on your face and how sickly you looked that something had happened. “Is the Bronco okay?” 

The fact that was the first thing his mind jumped to angered you to no end. “Yes, the fucking Bronco is fine, you idiot,” you sighed as your belly felt heavy with two Seresin children, a nervous shit, and impending vomit. “Jake’s waking up.”

“No way, who called?” Bradley kicked into fifth gear before your eyes as he ushered you out of the cafe without his coffee or your muffin. 

“Rooster, our order?” you protested as he barrelled out of the cafe with your shoulders in his hands. “Hold up!” 

“We gotta go, you wanna be there when he wakes up, don’t you?” Rooster asked, thinking the answer you’d give him would be a straight-up “yes”. There shouldn’t have been any other answer. But the longer you stood still not answering, Bradley knew something was eating away at you. “Y/n, why are you being weird about this? He’s okay, everything’s gonna be alright.” 

“What if he doesn’t want this?” your eyes welled with tears in the middle of the walkway. “What if he doesn’t want me? What if…what if he doesn’t want the ki–our kids?” 

Surgical intervention doesn’t always work when it comes to disease. Sometimes, despite best efforts, the disease wins. It takes over our cells one-by-one…until the damage can no longer be reversed. When that happens, all you can do is take the loss and move on. But when you can change the course of someone’s disease, you can change the course of their life. It’s enough to make you want to come back for more. 

“Oh, Y/n, no,” Bradley cooed as he drew you in for a much-needed hug. “Jake’s a lot of things, and he’s done a lot of stupid things, but giving you up all those years ago was his biggest mistake,” Rooster reminded you as the tears you cried stained his T-shirt. Your face was buried in his chest. A chest that had soaked up far too many of your tears these last few weeks. “I know there’s a lot of unknowns, but if there’s one thing I know for sure it’s that Jake’s never gonna let you guys go. I promise you.”

“He didn’t want the baby before he–” You couldn’t finish your sentence without breaking out into an all-out wail. Bradley held you tighter than he ever had before. He didn’t know what you hadn’t told him. And what you hadn’t told him was the whole truth…

The whole truth was that Jake’s accident had been your fault. Or so it felt like it. 

“Hey, hey, you’re good,” Rooster tried his best to soothe your soul all the while the lady who’d taken his order before kindly brought it out. He was sure to thank her silently over your shoulder as she placed the muffin in its brown paper bag and his takeaway coffee on the bench. “Whatever happened before all this, I’m sure it’s gonna work out. Jake loves you so much,” Rooster beamed as he rubbed your back. “He’s not letting you or these kiddos go.” 

**********************

As the Bronco sped down the rain-slick streets, tires hissing against the wet pavement, Bradley’s hands gripped the steering wheel as tight as possible. His knuckles were white with tension. You sat anxiously in the passenger seat, phone clenched tightly in your hands, replaying the call from Dr. Hughes in your mind over and over again like a broken Rolexes that held only one memory. 

"It appears that our dear friend is waking up,” Jensen Hughes, Jake’s primary doctor who had been with him since the first day he was brought into the hospital, had said. The words echoed in your head, filling your mind, body, and soul with equal parts hope and fear.

"We’re almost there," Bradley muttered, more to himself than to you. His jaw was set, his gaze fixed on the road ahead. His best friend was waking up from a coma he never really thought he’d come out of. He’d been looking after you and his unborn children since the accident. Jake had missed so much and nothing all at the same time. 

"He’s strong. He’s been fighting this whole time." You reached over, resting a hand on his arm. Bradley nodded in return but didn’t speak. The memories of countless nights spent at Jake’s bedside haunted you both. Each mile seemed endless, stretched by the weight of anticipation.

The hospital's glowing sign finally appeared through the rain-streaked windshield. Bradley exhaled sharply, parking the car with a jerky halt. Without another word, you both dashed toward the entrance, hearts pounding, ready to see Jake — ready to hope again. 

**********************

The elevator doors opened with a subdued ding as you and Rooster stepped into the hushed hospital hallway. The dim overhead lights cast a pale glow, reflecting off the sterile white walls. Neither of you spoke as you walked toward Jake’s room. Both too anxious to say anything that could jeopardise this significant moment in Jake’s recovery. 

As you approached the familiar door, you hesitated. Your breath hitched in your throat. Bradley gently squeezed your hand, grounding you in the moment. You felt like you were going to be sick. Your twins pressed on every vital organ they had shoved to whatever side they could to make room for themselves. Here you were, Jake Seresin’s pregnant girlfriend, about to see him awake for the first time in what felt like a decade. Rounding the final corner, you saw the familiar door, slightly ajar, light spilling into the hallway. For a moment, neither of you moved, overwhelmed by hope and fear intertwined.

"We’re here," Bradley whispered, his voice steady though his eyes betrayed the weight of his worry.

As you pushed the door open, you were met with the soft beeping of the heart monitor and the steady whoosh of the ventilator. Jake lay still, his face pale but peaceful, lost in the depths of his coma. His mind was a world away, carried off into the subconscious. His body was the only remaining evidence to suggest he was still with you. 

Your throat tightened, tears threatening to spill as you stepped closer. Why were you expecting him to be awake and alert? Wishing thinking once again overcomplicated your usually realistic outlook on how things worked in this world. Perhaps it had been the way Doctor Hughes spoke to you on the phone. Or maybe it was the pregnancy hormones that allowed for more hopeful endings. Either way, neither explanation added up to the expectation you had set. 

"Hey, Jake... it’s us," you whispered, voice trembling. Bradley pulled a chair close and ushered you to sit beside the bed. 

"We’re not going anywhere," he said firmly. "You hear me? We’re right here." Resting a hand on Jake’s forearm, Rooster was quick to let his wingman know he was there. The room remained silent except for the rhythmic beeping, but neither of you moved, holding onto hope with every passing second. 

“We heard what you’ve been up to while we’ve been gone, baby,” you cooed softly as you stroked Jake’s cheek gently, taking in the sight of his peacefully unaware self. “And we don’t plan on going anywhere until we get to see those beautiful eyes of yours.” 

“What’s going on here?” The familiar voice made your heart sink into your stomach as you tried to get as comfortable as you could in the world’s most uncomfortable hospital chair. Janeen stood in the doorway with a fresh coffee from the cafe downstairs in her aging hand. Her nails, manicured to perfection, clutched around the paper cup so much so that you swore the scolding hot liquid would burst through the weakened structure. “Did something happen? Why the urgency to not go anywhere?” 

“Did–” you paused for a second as you allowed yourself to sink a little further into your chair with a protective hand strewn across your ever-growing baby bump. “Did anyone call you?” 

“Why would anyone call me when I’m already here, silly girl.” Janeen scoffed as she walked further into Jake’s room. A room that had been his for weeks. A room that your mother had helped you decorate with Christmas lights and decorations as the season approached with every passing day. A bleak, barren hospital room was no place for a soul full of such joy and fun and high-octane energy. Jake deserved more than white walls and sterile floors. 

“Right, my bad for asking,” you sighed as Rooster rolled his eyes discreetly and tried to hide his disdain for his best friend’s mother. A mother he knew Jake wasn’t so fond of either. Especially when it came to you. 

“Jane!” Rooster beamed as he broke the tension. “Long time no see. How long has it been?” Bradley smiled as he shot you a cheeky look of mischief. This was who Rooster was at his very core. A shit-stirring moustache-having gold star kid. The best there was. He’d been a rock for you during this whole ordeal. There had never been a moment these past few months where you hadn’t been able to cry on Rooster’s shoulder or vent to him in full confidence that everything you said would stay with him and only him. 

“I saw you yesterday, son,” Janeen replied sternly, not a single hint of amusement in her tone. Yet, Rooster continued with his antics. He knew well enough by now to know if he kept going, Janeen would cut you some slack. Rooster had been an on-and-off fixture in the Seresin household for years. Ever since Jake and Bradley met in the academy. And boy did Janeen Seresin have a soft spot for the man who grew up without parents or any sort of guiding light. She saw real potential in the Bradshaw kid. If he just applied himself to God, he could be one of his finest soldiers. 

“Really? I’d never forget seeing you! Are you sure it was yesterday? I heard dementia is kinda contagious in these sorts of environments,” Bradley grinned as he pulled the shorter, aging woman with that signature older mother smell into him for a hug. He was sure to send you a wink over her head. 

You had to stuff the boisterous laugh that threatened to spill from your mouth right back down into the depths of your stomach before World War Three could erupt right here in Jake’s hospital room. To be perfectly honest though, you wouldn’t be opposed to that diagnosis. Perhaps then you’d have somewhat of a chance at developing some sort of relationship with the grandmother of your children. Even if each and every day brought a new personality and memory bank. Oh, a girl could dream. 

“Y/n, be a dear and get me a chair will you?” If you weren’t already sitting down, you would have fallen over with shock. 

“Oh, I can do that,” Bradley quickly jumped into action, not wanting you to get up. “I’ll go get you one, I’ll be right back.” He grinned at Janeen before sending you a worrying look of concern. A look that didn’t necessarily look the best on him. “Don’t–just don’t kill each other while I’m gone, alright?” 

“Scouts honour,” you held your hand up as if you were swearing on the bible. Something you’d never actually do. But as Janeen looked over at where you were sitting, she nodded in agreement. 

“Right, I’ll be right back,” Bradley groaned hesitantly as he left the room. Leaving an unconscious and comatose Jake to fend for himself. “Sorry pal, she’s your mother,” he mumbled to himself as he shook his head and continued out of sight. The second Rooster was gone…it was on for young and old. 

“I’ve organised a paternity test for when you have the babies–” Janeen informed you like it wasn’t the worst insult you’d ever heard.  

“Excuse me?” you replied rather harshly as you sat up in your chair. In what world would these not be Jake’s children? How was this happening right now? How was she doing this when Jake was slowly waking up from his endless sleep? 

“You heard me,” Jeneen smirked. “I need to protect my son,” For a woman who preached about being God’s seeing eye, she really was doing the devil’s work. 

“Your son should have listened in sex-ed a little more.” You knew even the mention of sex would have Janeen’s skin crawling. Sex out of wedlock! How dare you, how would you ever be cleansed of your sins? “Are you being serious right now Janeen?” 

“I almost lost him once!” Jake’s mother raised her voice as she stepped closer to his bedside, taking in the sight of her grown, adult child. “I’m not losing him again and certainly not to some wannabe writer who wants to live off my son’s achievements.” 

“Almost doesn’t matter because almost never happened,” you made sure to say before you went on to unleash a declaration of war against your not-so-mother-in-law. “But I can guarantee if you try and destroy this family before it has a chance to grow, so help whatever God you believe in bitch…I’ll burn your entire life to the ground and smile when I watch the millions of dollars you put into that ranch burn too.”  

“You vindictive girl.” Janeen had nothing else to say from the other side of Jake’s hospital bed. 

“Don’t threaten my family and I won’t threaten yours.” It was the only warning you were ever going to give. 

“He’s my son!” Janeen shouted as Bradley made his wake back down the hall with a chair in hand. 

“And he’s my hu–” 

You couldn’t finish your sentence. With so many hormones and emotions coursing through your veins, you slipped. Jake wasn’t your husband. He wasn’t your fiance. He was your boyfriend. And for as much as you wanted to marry the man lying in that hospital bed after nearly losing his life, you knew that question was far from being asked. If it were ever to be asked. Jake Seresin had grown up watching his parents hate each other…he’d made it clear marriage was something he wasn’t interested in. Why would he be when he spent his childhood listening to his mother beg his father to fix some stupid faucet that never did get fixed? 

Why would Jake ever be interested in marriage when he could remember the intervention his grandfather gave his dad at their wedding, something about it wasn’t too late to back out. Hell, why would Jake be interested in marriage when he watched his father fall out of love so hard with his mother that she never really clued him in on her battle with breast cancer? Jake grew up under the guidance of God and his almighty word…

But the way his father had treated his mother throughout Jake’s life had truly left a sour taste in his mouth. And if Jake, through biological design, was anything like his dad…he was never going to put himself in a position where he could emulate any sort of resemblance to his father. 

Trauma am I right? (He’d told you so much about his childhood.) 

“Honey, you’re nothing more than an incubator,” Janeen hissed with a wicked smirk plastered across her face. “He’s my son, and my son knows better than to allow himself to stoop as low as ending up with someone like you.” 

“I thought I told you two not to kill each other?” Rooster tried to intervene as he placed the chair down beside where Janeen stood. He’s never seen you look so worked up. So angry. So hurt. 

“Janeen.” You took a deep breath in and closed your eyes. “When I have these children, Jake’s children, if I have it my way you will never see them. You will never get to know them do you hear me? No God or religion or wackadoodle fucking beliefs you have will ever help you have a relationship with my children because if you can’t look me in the fucking eye and see what your son sees in me then I’m not entertaining any sort of relationship with you.” 

“If they’re really my grandbabies then you can’t keep them from seeing their family–” 

“She’s their mother, Jane, I don’t think you have much say in the matter,” Rooster sided with you as politely as he could. He wasn’t going to be the one to point out that Jake's fingers were twitching either. 

“Better start praying really hard Janeen,” you chuckled, knowing that although you didn’t win this battle, you’d win the war. “Maybe Rooster will bring back a pillow for your knees,” you teased, a little out of line but it was so worth the look of horror on her face. “You’ll be on them for a hell of a long time.” 

**********************

The roar of twin afterburners pierced the sky as Jake pushed his F-18 Super Hornet through a steep climb. The clear blue expanse stretched endlessly above, the ground a distant memory. This was his element—a place where skill and instinct defined survival. Still, the only thing on his mind when he should have been focusing on controlling a multimillion-dollar piece of military equipment was you. You were pregnant. Jake was going to be a father. 

He should have listened to you when you said the two of you could talk about it after he got home from work. He never should have pressed you for more information. But Jake had and the second the words came out of your mouth, he heard nothing else after the words “I’m pregnant Jake–we’re gonna have a baby.” 

He wasn’t ready to be a dad. A father. Being a dad was the last thing Jake thought he should ever be. He wasn’t raised to procreate. He shouldn’t be responsible for another human being. If Jake was even an ounce like his own father, that kid, that poor fetus growing inside you as he raced through the sky, was about to have one hell of a childhood. It wasn’t even just having a baby that terrified him. How was Jake meant to teach this kid right from wrong when he was still learning that himself? 

“What if I told you that I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids, but I want you?” Jake knew the second that the question left his lips…that it hadn’t come out the way it should have. But the reality was he had said it, and the look in your hopeful eyes quickly shattered and was replaced with a reluctance to continue with the conversation. 

Self-doubt radiated off Jake like his life force was fading. Today's training was a high-intensity combat simulation over the rugged terrain of Redstone Valley. Jake and Rooster were executing advanced dogfighting maneuvers against an elite training squadron. Every turn, every roll, every burst of speed was a calculated dance of power and precision.

"Bandit on your six!" Bradshaw’s urgent voice crackled through Jake's headset. 

His wingman had questioned him earlier in the day about what had him so uptight. Jake hadn’t been himself today, he knew that much for sure. But that was because he couldn’t stop thinking about you and the very fact you were pregnant with his child. A child created out of love and endless passion. But that wasn’t enough to make Jake want to be a father after being so sure for so many of his adult years that he wasn’t supposed to be a father. “Hangman! Get your arse into gear man!” 

Jake yanked the stick hard left, pulling into a sharp barrel roll. The G-forces slammed him into his seat as he broke away, narrowly avoiding the pursuing jet's simulated missile lock. His pulse raced, his adrenaline surged as his heart beat against his cheat so hard he swore he was having a heart attack… 

Suddenly, the cockpit warning system blared—a mechanical shriek of impending doom. "ENGINE FAILURE—LEFT ENGINE!" flashed across the Heads-Up Display.

"Mayday, mayday, this is Viper One, experiencing critical engine failure. Attempting emergency procedures," Jake radioed, his voice steady despite the rising tension. The heart attack he swore he was having was a full-blown panic attack. Jake couldn’t catch his breath long enough to maintain focus. “Fuck, Rooster! I’m going down! Mayday–mayday!” Children’s laughter filled the cockpit as Jake spiralled out of control. 

“JAKE! EJECT EJECT EJECT!” Bradley shouted frantically through the coms. He watched on in pure horror as one of the best aviators he knew plummeted to earth without much control. “HANGMAN EJECT!” 

“Tell Y/n I love her–” was the last communication that Bradley received before Jake frantically gave up his battle with the controls to pull his chute. 

Much like Rooster’s late father, Jake’s emergency exit hadn’t gone according to plan. The roar of the F-18's engines screamed in Jake's ears as the warning lights flashed across the cockpit. Smoke billowed from the right engine, as his aircraft trembled violently. 

As Jake pulled his emergency chute, he was propelled into the sky as his F-18 was engulfed in flames so hot the heat melted his uniform into his skin. If he’d waited even one second more he would have been a goner. The emergency exit did little to stop the dramatic fall from grace Jake was experiencing. He plummeted unconscious from the sky towards the burning pile of rubble that was, just a few seconds ago, his Super Hornet. 

The ground felt like solid concrete as Jake slammed into the side of the valley, bones shattered on impact as Rooster watched on in utter agony. His helmet did little to cushion the impact, although that was its intended purpose. Emergency services had already been sent out to Jake’s last known location… but there was little that could be done for Jake as he lay in a twisted pile of his emergency parachute. Blood stained his flight suit as his body began to shut down.

He was dying, but the laughter of children filled the silence like sunlight filtering through leaves—light, spontaneous, and full of love. 

**********************

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream

@maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional l

@jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere @withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog

@a-reader-and-a-writer @sunlightmurdock @shelbycillian @memoriesat30 @accioprocrastination

@the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes @eternallyvenus @emma8895eb @kmc1989 @avengersgirllorianna

[baphometsss]

the 'memories of a duet' codex is so interesting and not just because you can read it in so many ways. given that mythal is on the codex card i think you can safely assume it's about her, but it reveals so much about their relationship if you pay attention. this is a memory of solas learning a song/composing it for her, to remind her of who they are (were) when everything sang the same (in the fade, when they were spirits). she's doing her own thing at court but he does it all just to get a single happy glance from her, to see her remember the familiarity that is so integral to solas's understanding of who he is. 'seeing wholly, being wholly seen'. remember that spirits reflect: solas reflected mythal's benevolence, and mythal reflected his wisdom. they need to reflect to maintain their sense of who they are: it is not just about his love for mythal, but his way of retaining his sense of who he is, by prolonging the memory of that reflection even as she grew away from him.

the 'away from mindless worship and well-meant misunderstanding' is really fucking interesting too. it's a memory of a moment where mythal could forget her role of the charismatic all-mother, who was loved and adored by her children, and where solas could ignore the no doubt frequent insinuations from others that his devotion was romantic. it was a way for them to connect in a way where they could just be true to who they were and how they felt about each other: like branches of the same tree, like family. of course, this was before he rebelled, before mythal betrayed him by joining the evanuris--although how long before is questionable since they're only sharing glances at this point. it's kind of sad, too; it reads like he's already having to do so much to get barely anything in return from this person who is meant to be his family.

it also puts a lot of things into perspective about solas's feelings on the modern elves in dai. that feeling of kinship, the twinning he felt with mythal and felassan and no doubt other elvhen and spirits, is so precious to him. he doesn't want to share it with anyone in this terrible, broken world he created, as if to share it with them would somehow taint it. it's only by the end of dai and into datv that he sees he was wrong, that the elves may have forgotten their history, but they are of the same family: different branches on the same tree.

when he says to a romanced lavellan, you are unique, i have never found a spirit such as yours, you have a rare and marvellous spirit, etc. he's also saying that he hasn't felt this sense of kinship for a long time, that he didn't expect to bond with someone from this broken world in the way he did. it's a different bond to the one he had with mythal, too, because he says he never thought he would find someone who would draw his attention from the fade and by extension, his longing to be a spirit once again--something he constantly tried to get mythal to agree with him on and failed. with lavellan, for the first time, he actually wants someone in this overwhelmingly physical and romantic way--something spirits don't feel, apparently. cole doesn't get with maryden unless you make him more human, and he also says he doesn't feel any attraction as a spirit. solas is actually glad to be a person and not just a spirit, because it means he's actually able to experience romantic love and desire for the very first time (as the romance description in datv heavily suggests). what's more, despite his misgivings, he likes it.

as others have pointed out, lavellan's speech in datv is in hallelujah cadence like the dialogue with the other elvhen. the duet is being sung once again--in a different context, but no less meaningful. there's a song by bjork called stonemilker, where she sings: 'a juxtaposition in fate/find our mutual coordinates'. it really reminds me of this; the need emotional synchronicity, of being completely on someone's wavelength, understood totally, seeing wholly and being wholly seen.

[almostmylove]

SNEAK PEEK(wip) not sure if should continue it.

A binding ring

Part 1

Damien Wayne x reader

Synopsis: after Damien leaves most of his life in the assassin league he forgets one thing, his fiancée, you.

Warning: my spelling is bad and English is not my first language. Unrequired love.( I’m trying to improve my writing)

Damien Wayne was many things. a son, a brother, demon assassin, robin and even an enemy but to you , he was your fiancée and your love.

You two had known each other since birth and you attribute that to the fact that your mother and Talia had been “pregnant” about the same time and due to…surcomstance ,you to were promised to each other.

Grow up as his fiancee was tough due to the training that was mandated from both sides of the family to be able to qualified to be with him. You cuddled up to his mother pretty quickly, seeing her as a aunt and it seemed that she liked you too even tho she could be cold when she wanted to.

Damien on the other hand ,He didn’t like you so much, he really didn’t and you were fine with that since love in the legue was a seen a weakness but there was one problem.

You loved damien.

You loved him more than anything in the world. You didn’t know it was because of his skill, position or even personality but you just love him.

When you were young you would follow him around everywhere like a lost puppy and many times it would annoy him to the point were he would yell at you or even fight you.

The bruises, the endless silent cries didn’t stop you, you were ready to follow him to the moon and back if successor you had to so Image your surprise when Damien, the future leader of the legue of the assassins didn’t come back with his mother after rah al ghul had been murder by slade.

You were confused. Maybe a little heart broken that he left you behind but you were a romantic ( something he never understood ) so You asked around. No matter how hard you tried the only answer you got was “ it’s not your business” or “ go ask Talia , she’s the one who knows” and you did.

You were sure she wasn’t going to say anything so why in the hell were you outside of the Wayne mansion!

You stare at the white double doors, taking a minute to take everything in. The mansion was beautiful, with a magnificent garden right behind you and the way the soft yellowish night lights lit up the trees and surrounding area was the piniful of rich money( tho it wasn’t anything that was out of your league) it still managed to amaze you.

You knock on the door, your knuckles white with strain as the sudden quietness fills your ears, waiting for someone, something to fill the blank space.

You stand there awkwardly until you hear the soft and turn of the golden handle. Quickly you straight your outfit which was personal picked by Talia, a white almost dress like with golden accents that looks like it was made for a goddess( your hair accessories in a similar way).

The door opens and your are surprised to see an old man? Maybe a butler base of his clothing, that is now looking at you curiously with a prominate eyebrow raised.

Before you can say anything he speaks up first with proper but heavy British accent.

“ good evening young miss, what may I help you with this fine evening? He enquires , staring down at you . It’s only there when you realize how small you are compared to the aged butler.

You clear your throat. “ I’m looking for Damien Al ghul? Is he around here?” You shift to either side of your feet, your gaze pushing past the side of the butler and onto the hallway behind him trying to peak to see a glimpse of him.

Your vision is interrupted by the door sliding to side which makes you look up at the figure was standing in the way. It seems like the butler had no plans in letting you in . You had to find a way to let him in?( maybe by telling him your relationship with Damien?)

“ excuse me miss?” His voice interrupted your thoughts. “ but I’m curious. Who are you? And why have you come to find master Damien ?”

Perfect!

You stand up straight, lifting your head and the sides of your dress before showing curtíos bow. “ my name is [ name][last name] , i come from one of the branching clans of the league of assassins and current finance of Damien al ghul”

Perfect! You nailed your introduction! You high-fived yourself mentally and by the look of surprise on the butler face it seems he agreed too.

With any other greeting you would try to mask were you came from but Talia had already told you much about them including their nightly activities so it was only fair if they knew too. Worst case scenario the butler would know nothing about the league of assasins and would think you were crazy. Yet it seemed your speculation was right.

“ Damien’s fiancée you say.” The speculation and suspicion in his tone of voice was expected but hearing those words from him was a joy, it was an acknowledgement of your statues with Damien and your future.

“ why don’t we discuss this over tea” he offered, a slight smile on his wrinkled face.

“ of course, I would love to” a bit surprised by his offer but you would never decline an opportunity to talk about him

Carefully he guides you inside , never leaving your side and showing a small tour.

“ what’s your name good sir?”

He chuckled slightly before answer “ you can call me Alfred”

“ so you like tea right? What’s your favorite type”

“ I have quite the pallet for black tea.”

“Quite sophisticated I must say, a classic”

Say miss [name] have you tried cucumber sandwiches ?

“ I don’t think so? Are they good?”

“ i personally like them but you’ll have to try them yourself”

“I’m looking forward to it!”

The soft hum on the car engine runs thru the walls of the enclosure vehicle, only helping to fill the tense awkward atmosphere.

It wasn’t too often where the whole family is in the bat mobile after a mission. It was awkward and everyone knew it, Being crapped in a car that mainly only seated 2 people ( 4 max).

Jason sighs. His face facing the side window, a way of not facing anyone he didn’t want to talk to. Dick in the other hand tried to make conversation with just about anyone, talking about the mission they just completed.

It had been a while since he come to Gotham from blodhaven. He told them is was for a mission that lead him here but being honest he just wanted to check up on his family.

Jason on the other hand wanted nothing to do with them. It was purely by accident that he stumbled onto the battle and (hesitantly) decided to help and here he was now.

Tim as silent as ever, concentrated on something in his tablet.

Damien and Bruce where still aloof as ever, showing no other expression that doesn’t show how though they are.

The car ride was silent until a ring shined , shining on the center screen. The name displayed [alfred] caught the attention of almost everyone in the car.

“ answer” Bruce command with a low and smooth voice.

Damien looked away in disinterest in whatever the butler had to say, the car ride was going to be quick!so couldn’t it had waited.

“ what is it Alfred” he waited for the butler to answer, while keeping his eyes on the road as he took a sharp turn. Dick in the back saying a quick hi to Alfred that didn’t go unnoticed.

“ we have company “ he says, his thick accent turning and moving in cursive.

“ who is it Alfred? Just send them away until tomorrow. ” he commands dismissive

Alfred on the side of the screen , clears his throat as if preparing for the next sentence.

“ I can’t master Bruce. It’s an important acquaintances of master Damien”. Damien who was solum and disinterested now has straighter up , now having his ears perked up with a questionable look.

“ what do you mean Alfred? Tell who it is?” His voice is high pitch and reaping with answers? Who’s would visit him at this time and what did they need.

Dick who was listening in shimes in with excitement. “ a friend of Damien’s? I would like to meet them!” He says with a bright smile that is almost blinding.

“ Damien? Friends? That’s a first.” He chuckles mockingly.

The short boy in the front seat scouls, ready to bite back but stops short at the voice of his father.

“Quite.” He glares to the people in the back seat before turning his attention back up front l”Alfred we will be there in five”

“ right at it. Dinner should be ready by then Il see you until then” the old man mentions before hanging up the call.

Once the beep of the call ended question filled the car, mostly directed towards the boy. Not knowing the answers he stayed quiet only answering in a “ we will see soon enough” before turning his head back to the window. The tapping of his gloved fingers on his thighs didn’t go unnoticed by his brooding father.

Closing into the bat-cave , past the hidden sewer and into the long futuristic tunnel everyone held their breath. Specifically Damien who now was more curious then before.

The car raced foward finally landing on a rotating piece that spun them around, their back faced away from the entrance before they could see anything.

Everyone off loads from the car, the first one being Damien. You watch from above the railing in the batcave as he gets out looking around curiously for anyone and taking the opportunity you pounce on him before his vision darts upwards making both of you land on the ground.( him accidentally cusenishg you fall)

[oceanicwriting]

black book.

summary: falling in love with lorenzo berkshire was totally forbidden, but... what kind of story would your life be if you don't end up madly in love with him? although there is much more hidden under his sexual practices that end up releasing a part of you that he had never seen.

pairing(s): lorenzo berkshire x fem!reader

a/n: this ended up being so long that i didn't check it twice... sorry if there are errors, at some point i will give it another go, promise. btw, this was inspired by a tiktok i saw two days ago about this black book thing. hope you like it!

+18 smut (a little), oral sex/sit on my face (f!receiving), masturbation (f!receiving), fingering, teasing, mention and use of drugs, smoking, fuck buddies, cursing

ㅤㅤㅤ every woman knew, from the first moment they accept lorenzo berkshire between their legs, that everything that will happen would be strictly sexual and no more than one night. many had tried to change that, but he was a man of his word. at least he was with all the other girls who have been under his domain because you were too special for that. how could he even think about forgetting the best sex he had ever had in a closet in the hallways?

ㅤㅤㅤ since then, you've met more times than you can count, under the strict law of not crossing the romantic. at first, a little biased by the disgusting rumors about him, you thought it was a safe plan. and it was... for a while. when he started asking you to spend the nights with him, send you surprise notes, talk in the moonlight and all kinds of things, your heart became an incurable weakling.

ㅤㅤㅤ are you in love with lorenzo womanizer berkshire? of course you are.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what do you think of this one? —you look at your friend's dress, who walks around the room, swaying her hips—. i feel like it's not that short...

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at the end of the dress almost certain that if she sit down anywhere her ass would be exposed to the world.

ㅤㅤㅤ —of course, i forgot that the shorter the dress, the faster zabini fucks you, —you mumble with a hint of sarcasm in your voice.ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ your friend throws a piece of clothing from the floor, laughing nervously at the comment and insulting you between murmurs.

ㅤㅤㅤ when she turns her attention back to looking for another dress, you let yourself fall on the bed, releasing all the air that you have trapped since last night. in your mind, you had repeated the events over and over again, trying to connect some things but failing miserably in the attempt.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what's wrong with you? every time we go to a snake party, you're jumping on one leg. did something happen with berkshire yesterday?

ㅤㅤㅤ the mere mention of his name sends a chilling wave through your body. you deny it, but your friend knew something had happened. the last few times you hadn't come back from being with him until the next morning, and last night you had come back early, slamming the door in your way in.

ㅤㅤㅤ —liar. —she comes over to sit with you on the bed—. come on, tell me.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo was a boy from another world in bed. he knew perfectly how to use a woman's body to please her desires, taking advantage of the situation to satisfy his own pleasure. he was fully aware of how to squeeze, bite, lick, or caress so that anyone could bend to his charm. and he had bent you in every way, body and soul.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you have to promise not to tell your crush about this —you say, lifting a pinky that your friend wraps around hers in a promise—. i found a black book in lorenzo’s room yesterday. it was a small leather notebook with a silver L on the front. i hadn’t really given it much thought, but he got so weird when he saw it in my hands. he was… tense like never before.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you couldn’t see anything inside?

ㅤㅤㅤ you shake your head and say—: i just wasn’t interested. i thought it was a notebook for class or something, but he got so mad that i doubt it.

ㅤㅤㅤ —that’s weird…

ㅤㅤㅤ your friend doesn’t want you to think about it too much and tries to make you forget about it with drinks straight from the bottle of alcohol she hides under the bed. that was the only fun you had all night because lorenzo disappeared with one of your classmates, and your friend got lost among the crowd.

ㅤㅤㅤ the next day, right after you wake up, your friend walks into the room, looking disheveled. when she notices you're awake, it seems like a memory hits the back of her mind, and her green gaze looks like it's about to explode.

ㅤㅤㅤ you laugh and ask—: what hap...?

ㅤㅤㅤ she shushes you, throwing her bag onto the bed and searching for something amongst the makeup that falls against your messy sheets.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what the...? —in her hands is that black leather book with the shiny silver L sending out sparkles from the morning light reflection—. what did you do?

ㅤㅤㅤ —when blaise and i wanted to find a place to... —she trails off, painting her cheeks red—. you don't need those details, got it. the thing is, we went to the wrong room, and before we left, i saw the book on the desk. no one knows i have it, i swear on my parents.

ㅤㅤㅤ the book has a lot of full pages, losing the neatness of the empty ones at the end. there are entire minutes when you doubt whether to open it, but the curiosity running through your body is inevitable to feel.

ㅤㅤㅤ —so? —your friend asks, forcing you to look up at her—. are you going to open it or not?

ㅤㅤㅤ the first page has black book written in capital letters and lorenzo’s initials just below it. the next page has a small table that takes you two seconds to understand.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what is that?

ㅤㅤㅤ —they look like scores —you say, showing your friend the table.

ㅤㅤㅤ —scores? scores for what?

ㅤㅤㅤ and right below it, there was a list with three points, but the most important one was the one that gets stuck in your mind.

ㅤㅤㅤ —scores for sex.

ㅤㅤㅤ your friend looks at you, noticing the terrible mistake she made by bringing the book to you. she tries to take it from your hands, but you don't let her, and you start to slowly turn the pages. there were names of classmates, girls who have talked to you once, girls you don't know, and others girls you could remember in the back of your mind. and there was your name crossed out, but still visible with a five next to it. in that book, you were either a regular muggle or the worst of them all.

ㅤㅤㅤ —this was a terrible idea —your friend says, finally taking the book from you—. a horrible idea.

ㅤㅤㅤ but you can't speak because your heart has tightened so much that it leaves you breathless and unruly tears fall down your eyes. all you can think about is how pathetic you must look, crying over a man who made it clear from the first moment that you shouldn't fall in love.

ㅤㅤㅤ it had been a week since you discovered lorenzo's big secret. you could have chosen many paths to destroy him, but you made the cowardly decision to avoid him at all costs. he had tried to communicate with you through notes, appearing in the bedroom at any time of the day or chasing you through the halls. and yet, you didn't feel like facing him.

ㅤㅤㅤ when the night came, you always had the three same questions. hadn't he searched your body more than once? did you hear wrong when he repeated between grunts that you were doing perfectly? ​​why did he cum so fast when you wrapped your mouth around his cock? it was strange and disgusting that, after seeing all those names, your concern was centered on the small detail of a score.

ㅤㅤㅤ now you were sitting between a couple of people at a party that your friend had insisted you should be at. you felt calm, comfortable, and were having a great time. until the fun in your eyes fades when, walking through the door with a triumphant air, he appears. lorenzo berkshire would be your downfall for a long time, and you knew it very well.

ㅤㅤㅤ —hey, no. —you hear your friend's voice behind you, but your body is on autopilot, designed to escape—. enough of running away, okay? the girl i've known since i was ten never runs from jerks because she wears that skirt well and makes them suffer.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at her, then at the crowd. if lorenzo was any other selfless boy, you would have taken revenge as you well know, but he was not that. he had removed any sanity within your loving heart, and you were not sure about playing with something as fragile as that.

ㅤㅤㅤ —no. i...

ㅤㅤㅤ —no, you do —your friend says, pulling your arm to get onto the improvised dance floor with a big smile—. you and i are going to have the best night of our lives.

ㅤㅤㅤ you drink alcohol, dance among people, smoke marijuana, and laugh with faces you can’t remember. you were having such a good time that you can only now sit down laughing out loud at a joke your friend had told.

ㅤㅤㅤ —oh, let me get more alcohol —she says, losing her balance as she gets up from her chair—. oops.

ㅤㅤㅤ you follow his figure from your seat, and there he is. lorenzo is dancing close to a girl in the middle of the crowd. just seeing him ignites a wave of rage that feeds off of all the toxins you’ve taken up until that point. and you think in the midst of lucidity that maybe you could do your thing to make him angry... just a little.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look for some boy who can get your attention so you don't feel repulsed by his touch and you find him. in a corner, smoking a joint on his own, is a boy with fine features. it was the perfect moment, perfect man and perfect opportunity.

ㅤㅤㅤ when you get up, walking among the people, you purposely bump into the body of the girl who clings to lorenzo's shoulders. you apologize with a soft smile that doesn't fade from your face when you feel the boy's eyes linger on your figure contouring as you walk.

ㅤㅤㅤ when you arrive with your prey, you greet him with a more seductive voice than you expected, but it has the effect you wanted. it doesn't take you any time to have the boy in the palm of your hand, between jokes and white lies, you manage to have his fingers on your legs with a delicacy that could melt you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —do you want to go somewhere else? —it's the voice of the boy sitting next to you, speaking close to your ear. you look at the crowd in search of lorenzo, but you can't find him—. i don't think i can hold back the urge to touch you under that dress anymore.

ㅤㅤㅤ you laugh and, the truth is, you didn't dislike the idea of ​​rolling around with this cute stranger either. of course, if he wasn't violently attacked by lorenzo's friends, starting a fight that no one can stop. it's impressive how screams, pushes, or swear words take center stage so quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ —walk. —even though it's just one word, you know exactly who that voice is, pulling you towards the bedroom stairs.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo's quick steps blur your vision, but you try to stay awake with the soft scent of his cologne hitting your nose. when you reach your room, you can't help but sit up in bed, trying to catch your breath and clear your mind to become aware of what will happen now.

ㅤㅤㅤ when you can lift your head, lorenzo is standing right in front of you. he has his arms crossed on his chest, dark gaze, and waits for you to start some kind of conversation. a wave of heat hits every part of your body, uneasy from the gesture of his tongue pushing the inside of his cheek. oh, he was so angry.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what? —you ask, getting up from the bed, trying to avoid him noticing the stumble you've made in your own steps.

ㅤㅤㅤ —aren't you going to say anything?

ㅤㅤㅤ you turn to see him, pretending not to understand with a small gesture of confusion, managing to feed his anger as you wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you ignore me all fucking week and now you let someone else fuck you in front of everyone. —he lets out a cynical laugh and claps angrily—. oh! surprise, despite everything, the lady has nothing to say.

ㅤㅤㅤ you try not to laugh at how funny his voice sounds in your head.

ㅤㅤㅤ —my problem if i want to fuck someone in front of everyone. why do you care, lorenzo? and he was just touching a little. tasting...

ㅤㅤㅤ you hear him, his four strong footsteps that shorten the distance with you. it's the scent of her perfume that you catch first, turning on some parts of your body. you can't deny that his demanding gaze also wreaks havoc on your stomach, and memories of all the times you've been together play through your head at an imperceptible speed.

ㅤㅤㅤ —we're not exclusive, remember?

ㅤㅤㅤ you expected those words to hurt him, but it seems they only manage to sink the thorn into your own heart, causing a pain that hasn't been felt so intense for a week. all because of that stupid black book.

ㅤㅤㅤ —and, after all, i'm nothing more than a muggle worth five points. —and it seems that hurts him, because he steps back, destabilized and obfuscated—. how long do you think it was going to take me to discover it? maybe you're used to taking them to your room once or never, but i've been to that fucking place, i don't know... fifty times?

ㅤㅤㅤ —how did you know?

ㅤㅤㅤ —that doesn't matter. do you know how disgusting i felt after knowing that? rating girls for their performance in bed? are you sixteen fucking years old?!

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo grabs your arm tightly, pushing you against the bed and preventing any movement with the weight of his body on top. your breathing hits at the movement, feeling dizzy again.

ㅤㅤㅤ —listen, it's not what you think.

ㅤㅤㅤ his voice, so clear and firm, different from the blurry image of that moment. it's hilarious that he wants to keep thinking you're stupid, as if you were exactly what his book says.

ㅤㅤㅤ —are you telling me that i lack reading comprehension? honestly, lorenzo, i'm impressed by how much you underestimate me and... —the laugh that had been stuck leaves your lips like music to the boy's ears—. you know what? fuck it.

ㅤㅤㅤ the leg that was trapped between his rises, giving a sharp blow against his crotch. your hands push his chest, turning in the bed to straddle him.

ㅤㅤㅤ —a five, enzo? —he looks at you, breathing heavily from the wave of torment affecting his body—. weren't you the one who was going after my body? did i hear wrong when you told me that i was doing it just the way you want? why did you seem to enjoy it when i'm a fucking five?

ㅤㅤㅤ yes, it was unpleasant to put scores, but in your chest was a much bigger pain. you like lorenzo. you are madly in love with him and that clouds every other sense in your head. you wanted to be a twenty, fifty or top score for him. you wanted to be enough. you wanted to be the only woman in his power. you wanted to change the immovable.

ㅤㅤㅤ —beautiful... —his hand tries to touch your cheek decorated with small tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ your body reacts by instinct, hitting his arm to press it against the bed, avoiding any touch that could make you lose the courage you have accumulated.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why, lorenzo?

ㅤㅤㅤ if there was something he hated was seeing sad tears running down your face, being enough to say—: i'm not the only one with a book like that. we compare scores, bet on it, and all kinds of things. i just... i didn't want them to know.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him, noticing the honesty in his eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you didn't want them to know what?

ㅤㅤㅤ he smirks, looking at your body with lust. every curve, every place that only he knew, every trace of his marks that have disappeared, and every area that he could touch to make you roll in pleasure. lorenzo knew every little detail of your body with such precision that it was inevitable for him not to imagine you naked.

ㅤㅤㅤ —how amazing you are in bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ and you could blame many things for the events that happen after that. you'd say it was his deep voice that scratched your insides, messy hair that falls on the duvet or disheveled clothes. some might believe when you blame the alcohol, but there was someone in the whole world who would always know the truth. you.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo buries his hands in your hips, pushing you against his body to grab your lips with a delicious habit. the taste of alcohol in his mouth is the same as yours, intense and hot. your hips move with the help of his hands that squeeze just the way you like. you let him dominate the situation of that kiss until a fleeting memory comes back to your head.

ㅤㅤㅤ ���i want you to use your mouth —you murmur against his lips—. i want you to use it so you can't use it on anyone else.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo looks at you, trying to turn on the bed to do what you ask. the problem is that your body tenses at the intention, and he looks at you with confusion.

ㅤㅤㅤ —not like that.

ㅤㅤㅤ you pull your panties off to stop your pussy right in front of his face. the simple breath of lorenzo hitting your folds makes you shudder, but you know he has to suffer like never before. so, when he makes the gesture of getting closer to your wetness, your fingers tangle in his hair, pressing his head against the bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i want to hear that you want it. i want you to beg.

ㅤㅤㅤ it was always lorenzo who dominated in the relationship. you enjoyed it that way, but today, there was a rage inside you that was as uncontrollable as the wave of ecstasy that runs through your body when you talk to him that way. you wanted to make him feel so small that he would be the one to beg to come back this time.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him, part of his face covered by the black skirt and gaze lit up in flames. the hot, heavy air crashing against you was perfect, sending desperate signals to your eager and needy body.

ㅤㅤㅤ —let me devour you. i want to lick and suck until i can't take it anymore. please, just, please...

ㅤㅤㅤ and your pussy presses against his lips, holding part of your weight with the headboard of the bed and legs. lorenzo doesn't take long to do what he had asked, stimulating your clitoris with the tip of his expert tongue. you moan at the tickling sensations that travel from there, moving your hips gently against him.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo kisses, sucks, and licks as best he can against the weight of your body on top of him, raising his eyes over your skirt to watch you arch your back every time his tongue gets close to your entrance. his hands move up to your breasts, where one stops to squeeze over your shirt and the other continues its way to your mouth.

ㅤㅤㅤ —do you wanna s-see how i do it? —you say, looking down at him and sticking your tongue out to lick his fingers—. i always imagine it’s your cock.

ㅤㅤㅤ his fingers sink into your mouth so deeply that it’s impossible not to gasp. your tongue licks, curling and tasting the length of his long digits. when lorenzo is satisfied with that, he moves his hand from your back to your entrance.

ㅤㅤㅤ —w-wait, j-just wait a little —you say between soft moans—. i need you to go down a little.

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo does so, making you shiver from the new sensation that builds up in that perfect area. then, you feel his fingers digging in in the perfect direction to touch a spot that activates thousands of waves of pleasure.

ㅤㅤㅤ his fingers going in and out quickly, while his mouth continues to stimulate you, was enough to make your legs feel weak. the accumulation of emotions that are trying to be released with moans explodes in an electric current that travels from head to toe, cutting off the air that enters your lungs, making you scream and fall against lorenzo's face pressed against your thighs.

ㅤㅤㅤ he grabs your ass and manages to turn with his head still buried between them. you can feel the tip of his tongue wander over your sensitive areas again. suffer, suffer and suffer.

ㅤㅤㅤ —stop. —one of your feet pushes his shoulder, making him look at you confused—. will you burn that book?

ㅤㅤㅤ your hands play with your shirt, lowering the neckline to free your breasts in front of him. lorenzo's gaze darkens, and he follows your hand to the inside of your thighs.

ㅤㅤㅤ —beautiful...

ㅤㅤㅤ lorenzo licks his lips, feeling his cock tremble in the desire to bury itself so hard and deep inside you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —would you do it to feel how my tight pussy takes you? would you do it so you could enter me whenever and however you want?

ㅤㅤㅤ a wave of pleasure runs through your body at the sensation of your own fingers touching the places that make you moan in front of him. lorenzo was slowly losing his sanity, and you could see it in his eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ —yes, i will. i'll do whatever you want with that book —he says, his voice dragging out the words because of the rush with which he says them—. i will.

ㅤㅤㅤ and from one moment to the next, even if you're not sure how, you're out of bed with lorenzo staring at you as hard as the bulge in his pants about to explode. you don't let that weaken you, adjusting your clothes in seconds.

ㅤㅤㅤ —good. perfect, really. —he follows your body to the door with the bad mood sprouting from every pore of his skin—. then we can finish this when you do it right in front of my eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what?

ㅤㅤㅤ —what you heard —you say, sliding a soft smile on your lips—. when i see that ridiculous book in pieces, you can finish what we started. now, get out of my fucking room and close the door on your way out.

ㅤㅤㅤ your body disappears behind the bathroom door, where you hear him call your name angrily, and he leaves the room shortly after. if he hadn't given up, you were sure you would have, so you're thankful he did it first.

ㅤㅤㅤ the surprise is that lorenzo came back minutes later with the book in one hand and his wand in the other, turning the book on fire right in front of your eyes to turn you into a rag of moans, licks, thrusts and marks. not many things could change about this relationship now, but you know that lorenzo might be a little more in love with you than it seems.

[magicalgirlfia]

Anyways here’s a list of thinks I things about this story

(Spoilers, obviously)

Marina speaks in a combination of hiragana and katakana in Japanese, but she doesn’t in the story because she’s speaking Octarian in-universe.

More conformation that Marina is seen as a celebrity in the domes(!!!)

I already mentioned this once, but I love how we get more Acht characterization. How they show how much they care about Marina with their actions. How they put a lot of thought and analysis into what they say and do. How they burn to death if they’re not surrounded by moldy boxes. They have this inexplicable autistic aura in a way I can’t describe.

They gave the octopus gender dysphoria. I don’t know how else you can read their reasoning for not liking it when their picture is taken.

The speculation station is back, but I wonder if Acht regrets that they chose to walk away from Marina at the end. I wonder.

Something something Acht rebels against society and Marina who exceeds societal expectations but both are social outcasts in different ways

Probably not intentional but the line about how they assume Marina wouldn’t want to bother them with things that weren’t music related reminded me of how after they got sanitized they couldn’t think about anything but making music.

Again, probably another throwaway line but. What if Acht not malnourished because they’re a zombie. What if they just forget to eat.

The layout of octo valley having a dirty lake is interesting to me. Why would you need that. Maybe since other octarians don’t shift between forms they can go into water? I bet there’s some random concept art out there that confirms or denies this.

I do not think that Acht is jealous of Pearl and I really hope that won’t become the prevailing fandom sentiment. I think that it’s probably weird seeing your childhood friend/crush (I could go either way and personally see it as ambiguous myself, as non-committal as that answer is) and her girlfriend flirting while the only other person in the room is some random octoling who does not talk.

But I refuse to believe that there are people who genuinely think that an inarguably queer character is homophobic and those jokes were always weird and not funny, so if this is what makes those jokes go away then so be it.

The fact that the dome is made of fucked up scaffolding is cool too. To my understanding, the bases are like Octo Valley and Octo Canyon while the domes are the hub worlds in between them.

By the way, Acht says “クソ [kuso]” quite a bit. Despite the word being able to be translated to anything from “aw man” to “fucking hell”, the fact that they say it in katakana gives it a sharper vibe. What I’m saying is that there were multiple times where, if I were translating something like Guilty Gear, Acht would’ve said “fuck”. Thank you for your time.

I think there is a point in time where you look at the same information for so long that you start reading too much into it. I bet half of what I just wrote reads as the ramblings of a madman but whatever.

Regardless, thank you for all of the lovely words and support. Acht is one of my all-time favorite fictional characters and I’m glad more people are starting to see what I see in them and maybe won’t water them down to their relationships with other characters I mean whoops who said that. Oh, and for the record there will be more Bankara Walker translations.

A translation of the short story about Marina and Acht featured in Bancala Walker has been completed! You can read it here:

Thanks to @3600frames and @mossible for transcribing the story and @rassicas for editing.

[agiiiiiiiiiiiii]

Mrs. Hischier

Heyy, I got one more for you today!

nico hischier x reader

Theme: fluff

Words: 738

—————————————————————————

You were curled up on the couch with Nico, your legs stretched over his lap as his fingers absentmindedly traced patterns on your knee. The faint hum of the TV played in the background, but neither of you paid attention. Nico had a small, thoughtful smile on his face, his eyes focused on nothing in particular.

“What’s on your mind?” you asked, tilting your head to study him.

He chuckled softly, his gaze finally meeting yours. “I was just thinking how nice your name sounds with Hischier,” he said casually, as though it was the most normal observation in the world.

You blinked at him, a mix of surprise and amusement crossing your face. “Oh, really?” you teased, raising an eyebrow. “And was that one of your criteria when deciding to propose? If my name sounded good with yours?”

Nico smirked, leaning back against the couch as he squeezed your knee. “Maybe it crossed my mind,” he admitted, his tone playful. “But I think it was just a bonus. The real reason is that I couldn’t imagine you with anyone else’s last name but mine.”

Your cheeks flushed, a soft laugh escaping you. “Smooth, Hischier. Real smooth.”

He grinned and leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. “Well, Mrs. Hischier-to-be, I’m just speaking the truth.”

————————————

You and Nico are on your honeymoon, walking along a serene beach in a tropical paradise. The warm sun is setting, casting a golden glow over everything around you. You’re hand in hand, feeling completely at peace after the excitement of the wedding.

Nico glances at you, his eyes filled with love and happiness. He smiles, pulling you a little closer as you continue walking. “Mrs. Hischier,” he murmurs softly, the corners of his mouth twitching into a teasing grin.

You chuckle, shaking your head lightly. “You’re never going to let me forget, are you?”

He laughs, a deep, carefree sound. “Why would I? It sounds perfect. Mrs. Hischier. It’s meant to be.” His gaze softens as he looks at you, full of warmth and affection. “I’ve waited so long to call you that.”

You feel a flutter in your chest, warmth spreading through you as you realize how special this moment is. “It still feels a bit unreal,” you admit, smiling shyly.

Nico stops walking and turns to face you, his hands brushing lightly over yours. “It’s real. And we’ve got forever now. I’ll never get tired of saying it.”

His voice is filled with such genuine adoration, and you can’t help but melt into his embrace. You lean in, your lips brushing against his in a sweet, lingering kiss. The ocean waves crash softly behind you, the sound like the perfect backdrop to this intimate moment.

“You’ve made me the happiest man in the world,” Nico whispers, his forehead resting gently against yours. “Now and forever, you’re mine— y/n Hischier.”

You smile, feeling completely at ease in his arms. “And I’ll be yours, always.”

————————————

You were standing in front of the mirror, smoothing out your jersey with a smile tugging at your lips. It wasn’t just any game day—it was the first one since the wedding. You glanced down at the back of the jersey, the familiar “Hischier” printed boldly across the shoulders, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t just his name anymore.

As you turned to grab your bag, Nico appeared in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame with an easy grin on his face. His eyes sparkled as he looked at you, his gaze lingering on the jersey.

“That’s the first time you’re wearing my name,” he said, his voice warm. “And also yours.”

You glanced at him, your heart fluttering at the softness in his tone. “I’ve worn your name before,” you teased, holding the jersey out.

“Yeah,” he said, stepping closer, “but now it means something more.” His hands rested lightly on your hips, pulling you in for a kiss. “Seeing you wear it now... it’s like you’re officially part of me. My family. My life.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you rested your hands on his chest, looking up at him. “Well, it’s your name,” you said with a grin. “And I’m proud to share it.”

He smiled, his forehead pressing gently against yours. “I’m proud you do.” After a moment, he pulled back and winked. “Just don’t distract me too much when I see you in the stands, Mrs. Hischier.”

[winedarkgod]

something that comes up a lot in pagan spaces both online and irl I've noticed is this idea that nature/the natural world is "preferred" by the Gods, and that they aren't as likely to engage with worshippers in big cities or with modern technology.

and while it is true that nature is extremely important to the Gods, and many of us are frankly isolated from it, it has always felt off to me that people just unquestioningly accept this idea that Nature = Good and Civilization = Bad.

maybe it's because our current society is not structured in a way that allows for a reciprocal relationship with nature, or maybe it's because of some unconscious "noble savage" tropes being projected onto the polytheistic societies of the past.

regardless, when you actually look at the mythology, you find this assumption isn't true. sure, there are deities who may individually lean towards one or the other (Artemis comes to mind) - but generally speaking the Gods engaged with both the natural world and what was, for the time, modern society.

and I love the wild/nature aspects of Dionysus SO much. but to only focus on that side of him, and ignore his role in theater, viticulture and the arts (part of culture and civilization) would be both a disservice to myself and the power of the God.

and then there are Gods like Hephaestus, who may even "prefer" engaging with modern technology. people seem to forget there are like, literal robots in Greek mythology?

here's an example:

"The [mythical first bronze] temple [of Apollon at Delphoi] was the work of Hephaistos, or the legend about the Golden Singers, referred to by Pindaros in his verses about this bronze temple :--‘Above the pediment sang Khryseiai Keledones (Golden Charmers).’"

Pausanias, Description of Greece 10. 5. 12 (trans. Jones)

Hephaestus made Apollo automaton singers for one of his temples?? like that's cool as fuck

(as a side note, I do NOT think the arguments I'm making here apply to AI generated "content" - Hephaestus never made anything that deliberately stole the artwork of humans. fuck AI.)

but my point here is that for most of the Gods, the Nature vs. Civilization thing a lot of pagans hold on to is a false dichotomy. capitalism, colonialism and the exploitation of life have made our current society unsustainable, but civilization itself isn't inherently bad.

we must respect and honor nature. but we also need to respect and honor ourselves.

[taleweaver-ramblings]

I just want to take a minute to brag on my DM for a minute in relation to this.

When we started the campaign, I asked if I could make up a deity for my paladin because it was a homebrew world and I was pretty sure we weren't using the standard D&D gods. My DM said sure, go ahead, so I made up a mini-pantheon (because one thing led to another), and we workshopped things a bit, and we ended up with my paladin worshiping the Goddess of Renewal.

Unbeknownst to me, my DM then looked at this goddess and the things I said she was associated with — families, healing, growth, losing and finding, and remembering and forgetting — and evidentially said something along the lines of "You know what this sounds like? Someone who would have invented therapy, that's what."

Fast forward a bit to when we actually meet other followers of this deity, and yeah, most of the non-adventurer followers of this deity are healers, therapists, or both. We also met the goddess in person while trying to fix my paladin's cursed sword, a conversation that involved going over (A) how do you feel about what's happened on your quest so far, (B) what are your goals from here, and (C) what do you really want to do with this sword when it's un-cursed?

(This may or may not be why my paladin was arguably the most well-adjusted person in the whole party. Just saying.)

So, yes. Kudos to my DM for actually making fantasy therapists and doing them quite well. It was great.

i don't understand why more fantasy worlds don't have therapists. i mean, they have the fantasy equivalent of a doctor, which is a healer. so why not a therapist?

there's so much potential to integrate it with the fantasy elements too.

you could do exposure therapy, for example, with the help of illusions. imagine someone is deathly afraid of dragons because of a childhood incident, but they really want to overcome this phobia.

the therapist could conjure up illusions, working from a small abstract dragon to a big realistic one, and help the client progressively become more relaxed around the illusion dragon before they meet a real one.

or imagine a character is grieving a dead loved one, and they never got closure from this person. maybe they wanted to tell this person something and never got the chance to. or maybe the person is not dead, but it's best to sever that tie instead of trying to talk to them again.

in this scenario, the therapist could shapeshift into the person the client wants to talk to, and give the client a bit of closure.

mind reading could be practiced with the client's consent, so that the therapist could tap into blocked memories or an incident that the client is too traumatized to talk about.

there's just so much untapped potential and it's driving me crazy. maybe some stories have done this, but none that i've seen so far. and i want more people to recognize this potential so that we can have more therapists in our favorite tragic fantasy shows.

[woso-story]

Honeymoon

Ingrid Engen x Mapi Leon

The morning after their wedding was quiet and peaceful, the soft rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of birds filling the air as the sunlight streamed through the windows of the countryside venue. Outside, the last guests were gathering to send Ingrid and Mapi off.

The newlyweds emerged hand in hand, their smiles bright despite the early hour. The air was filled with warmth—not just from the sun, but from the love radiating from their closest friends and family.

Esmee was the first to approach, grinning as she pulled them into a hug. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me for two whole weeks,” she teased, though her voice was light. “Who am I going to bother now?”

Mapi smirked, ruffling Esmee’s hair. “You’ll survive, niña. And when we come back, you can bother us as much as you want.”

Esmee pretended to pout but quickly relented, wrapping her arms around Ingrid. “Have fun, okay? And bring me something cool—like a seashell or, I don’t know, a sunken treasure chest.”

Ingrid laughed, hugging her back. “We’ll see what we can do.”

As Alexia and Aitana approached, their teasing quickly turned the farewell into a lighthearted affair.

“Don’t let her burn, Ingrid,” Alexia said, gesturing at Mapi. “She’s pale for a Spaniard.”

Mapi rolled her eyes, mock offended. “I’ll have you know, I tan perfectly. Besides, Ingrid will be too busy staring at me to let anything bad happen.”

“I mean, she’s not wrong,” Ingrid said with a grin, earning a round of laughter.

Frido joined in, clapping Ingrid on the shoulder. “Just relax and enjoy yourselves, okay? No sneaking in football practice, no planning. Just pure honeymoon bliss.”

“You have my word,” Ingrid replied with a smile.

Finally, Alexia gave each of them a quick hug, her voice soft. “Have an amazing time. You both deserve this.”

As they climbed into the waiting car, everyone waved them off with cheers and laughter. Esmee cupped her hands around her mouth and called out, “Don’t forget to bring me my treasure!”

“We won’t!” Mapi shouted back, grinning.

Ingrid leaned into Mapi as the car pulled away. “I still can’t believe this is real,” she murmured. “We’re married.”

Mapi kissed her temple, her voice soft and full of promise. “It’s real, princesa. And it’s only the beginning.”

---

At the airport, Mapi’s meticulous planning became evident. She navigated the chaos of check-ins and security with ease, her confidence making everything feel effortless. Ingrid, usually the planner in their relationship, let herself relax for once, happy to follow Mapi’s lead.

“Are you ever going to tell me where we’re staying?” Ingrid asked as they waited in the business-class lounge, sipping champagne.

“Nope,” Mapi replied, her grin mischievous. “You’ll find out when we get there. Just trust me.”

“I do,” Ingrid said, her smile soft. “I trust you with everything.”

The business-class cabin of their flight was a dream. The wide seats, luxurious service, and intimate atmosphere felt like a prelude to the magic that awaited them. As the plane soared above the clouds, they talked about their future, their dreams, and the life they were building together.

“I want these two weeks to be perfect,” Mapi said, taking Ingrid’s hand in hers.

“They already are,” Ingrid replied, her voice full of love.

---

Landing in Malé was like stepping into another world. The air was warm, the skies impossibly blue, and the sea sparkled like a treasure chest of jewels. Mapi led Ingrid to their next mode of transportation—a sleek seaplane that would take them to their final destination.

The flight over the Maldives was breathtaking. Ingrid couldn’t stop marveling at the turquoise waters, the vibrant coral reefs, and the tiny islands that dotted the ocean like emeralds.

“This is unbelievable,” Ingrid said, her voice full of wonder.

“Wait until you see where we’re staying,” Mapi teased, her grin widening.

When they arrived at the resort, Ingrid was already enchanted by the white sands and lush greenery. But nothing prepared her for the sight of their overwater bungalow.

The private deck, infinity pool, and glass floors revealing the vibrant marine life below were more luxurious than Ingrid had ever imagined. She turned to Mapi, speechless, tears gathering in her eyes.

“Maria…” she began, but words failed her.

“You like it?” Mapi asked, her tone casual but her eyes hopeful.

“It’s perfect,” Ingrid said, pulling her wife into a deep kiss. “You’re perfect. Thank you.”

---

That first evening, they stood on their deck, watching the sun dip below the horizon. Ingrid wrapped her arms around Mapi from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder.

“I can’t wait for all the adventures we’ll have here,” Ingrid whispered, pressing a kiss to Mapi’s neck.

“Me neither,” Mapi replied, her voice soft and full of love.

Later, they explored the bungalow, marveling at every detail. The glass panels in the floor revealed fish swimming below, and the luxurious bed called to them after their long journey.

---

The next morning, Ingrid woke up to find Mapi missing from their bed. Throwing on a loose blouse, she wandered out to the deck and froze.

There was Mapi, lying on a lounger, her tanned skin glowing in the morning sun. She was topless, her tattoos on full display, and her relaxed, confident demeanor took Ingrid’s breath away.

Leaning against the doorframe, Ingrid simply watched her wife, unable to believe how lucky she was. Mapi was a masterpiece—every line of ink on her skin told a story, and her presence exuded strength and beauty.

Lost in thought, Ingrid didn’t notice when Mapi turned her head and smirked. “How much longer are you going to stare, princesa?”

Blushing, Ingrid walked over and straddled Mapi on the lounger. “I’m allowed to stare. You're my wife,” she teased, leaning down to kiss her.

“Good point,” Mapi mumbled against Ingrid's lips, sliding her hands under her blouse to rest on her waist.

Their kisses turned slow and heated, the warm sun and gentle breeze wrapping around them like a cocoon. Before long, they found themselves back in the bungalow, their laughter and love filling the air as they let the world fall away.

---

The days that followed were pure bliss. They snorkeled through vibrant coral reefs, explored hidden beaches, and spent hours lounging in the sun. Every moment was a celebration of their love—a love that felt infinite, like the ocean surrounding them.

---

One particularly magical night, they had a candlelit dinner on the beach. The moonlight sparkled on the waves, and the soft hum of the ocean provided a serene backdrop.

Their laughter gradually gave way to a more serious conversation. Ingrid broached the topic of their future, her voice thoughtful.

“Maria, have you thought about... kids?” she asked hesitantly.

Mapi looked at her, slightly confused. “I thought you wanted to wait until after football to think about that?”

Ingrid reached across the table to take Mapi’s hand. “I did. But now... I feel like I’m ready to start thinking about it. I want to grow our family. If that’s something you want too.”

Mapi’s face lit up with joy. She stood, walked around the table, and pulled Ingrid into a tight embrace. “Are you kidding? I’ve dreamed of it. Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.”

They spent the rest of the evening talking about their hopes and dreams for a family, the stars above bearing witness to their promises.

---

As their two weeks in paradise came to an end, they boarded the plane home, their hearts full of memories and dreams for the future.

“Thank you for everything,” Ingrid said, resting her head on Mapi’s shoulder. “This was perfect.”

“Anything for you, princesa,” Mapi replied, her voice full of love.

Back home, challenges awaited, but they were ready. Their honeymoon had been more than a vacation—it was a celebration of their love and the life they were building together, one perfect moment at a time.

[rhiannonsknife]

okay, i don't wanna give spoilers, since you said you hadn't finished it, so.. first episode feels safe ??

fucking your cousin's is normal. it's a vault, there's limited selection. nobody blames you. but fucking your best friend.. well, that's a little much for lucy. not because your a girl. no, that's not- that has nothing to do with it, she promises. she just doesn't want to change your bond, that's all.

or super convoluted way to say lucy has a crush on you and refuses to admit it. mayb ?? idk if this makes sense sorry

also first ask i've sent that's not just conversation, so.. should probably put a name to my claim.

- 🦴 ( if possible </3 )

── KISS ME ONCE, THEN KISS ME TWICE, THEN KISS ME ONCE AGAIN

— summary: you and lucy decide to ‘practice’.

— warnings: friends to lovers. mostly fluff with some nsfw-ish content. so mdni.

the hum of the vault’s fluorescent lights buzzes overhead, the sound so constant it’s easy to forget it’s there at all until everything else is silent.

you and lucy are sprawled on the bed in her quarters, your shoulders pressed together as you share the same faded book, its pages worn from years of careful reading. the vault’s limited library doesn’t get restocked, after all.

“you ever think about what’s out there?” you ask suddenly.

lucy doesn’t look up from the pages, though her grip tightens slightly, the paper under her thumb crumbling. “not really,” she lies.

“come on!” you press, nudging her with your elbow. “you’ve never wondered what it’s like? the open sky, fresh air…”

at that, she snorts. “fresh air? you know the stories! it’s nothing but radiation and monsters out there!” lucy flips the page, her eyes fixed on the paragraph in front of her.

you roll onto your side, propping yourself up on your elbow to look at her. “you don’t think everyone out there is bad. you’re too nice for that!”

she finally glances at you, her lips quirking into a small smile. “you think i’m nice?”

“well, of course,” you say, your tone teasing. “i mean, you could just tell me to shut it and read the book, but here we are!”

lucy laughs, a quiet, breathy sound, and looks back down at the book. she doesn’t turn the page.

“okay, maybe i do think about it,” she admits after a moment.

it reminds you of childhood. of sitting in the quiet dark of the quarters, exchanging hushed secrets in the comfort of her presence.

“but not the way you do! you’ve got this whole…” she gestures vaguely, her eyes flicking back to yours. “…adventure thing in your head. like the outside world’s just waiting for you to show up and save it single-handed!”

“and you don’t?”

“nope.” she smiles. “i mean- eventually. once it is safe for all of us to return back. maybe our children will?” she clears her throat and nudges you with her shoulder. “anyway, why would i want to leave when I’ve got you around to drive me crazy?”

you grin, making a point of ignoring the way her words make your heart flutter. “lucky, lucky you!”

“don’t i know it?” she says, rolling her eyes, but her smile lingers, softer now.

the silence settles again, this time heavier with the book no longer her only focus. you don’t notice but lucy’s eyes keep darting your way, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of the paper.

she’s fighting a battle in her head. one she’s been losing for weeks, maybe months.

lucy’s been told, more than once and by multiple sources, that making out with your cousin, for example, is normal. perhaps expected, even, just to have some sort experience secured.

but wanting you? her best friend ever since she can remember? that’s something different. something that makes her palms sweat and her stomach twist in ways she can’t explain whenever she tries to picture it.

“hey,” you say suddenly, pulling her out of her spiral. “are you okay?”

“yeah,” she says quickly, her voice too bright. “why wouldn’t i be?”

“you’re fidgeting,” you point out, reaching to still her hand.

the touch is light, casual even. something you’ve done a hundred times before. but it feels different now, with pictures of your lips on hers flashing through her mind. lucy knows it’s not your fault. it’s hers. it’s always hers.

“i’m fine,” she insists, pulling her hand away and crossing her arms. “just…tired, i suppose,”

you don’t look convinced, but you let it go, lying back down and turning your attention to the book. lucy stays sitting up, her eyes on you instead of the page.

she shifts awkwardly, trying not to fidget again. you've started having that effect on her, and it's driving her crazy.

“you know,” you say suddenly as if you'd been reading her mind. “people in the vault are always talking about how it's normal to…y'know, experiment?”

lucy's head jerks toward you so quickly it's a miracle she doesn't pull a muscle.

“experiment?”

“yeah," you hum. “like...with other people…everyone says it's no big deal. ‘limited options,' and all that!”

she swallows hard, her palms suddenly clammy again. “uh...sure,” she says, trying to sound disinterested. “i mean, that's just how it is, right? have to keep the gene pool going or whatever,”

now it’s your turn to snort. “i'm not talking about marriage and babies, lucy. i mean..." you trail off. “practice.”

“practice?” she echoes, her voice an octave too high, the words catching in her throat.

“for when we do get married someday,” you clarify, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. there's a pause before you quickly add: “not to each other, obviously,”

lucy feels like her brain is short-circuiting all over again. you can't just say things like that and expect her to function like a normal person. “right….gee, of course not to each other!” she parrots.

you sit up fully now, visibly excited. “but think about it! vault life does mean limited options, right? most people are already making out with their cousins to 'prepare for marriage!” you pull a face, the very idea making you wrinkle your nose in distaste.. “at least this way, we're...helping each other out. as friends!” “as friends,” lucy repeats, as if saying it out loud will make it true. “you…you’re serious?” her voice wavers, and it’s humiliating. god, why couldn’t she just sound normal?

“why not?” you shrug. “it's not like it has to mean anything!”

she wants to tell you it already does. that it's meant something to her for as long as she can remember. that it could never not, when it’s with you.

but instead, she stammers, “i- i don't think-“

“oh, come on!” you tease, your grin widening. “what? are you scared?”

that does it. lucy always had a stubborn streak, and you’ve learned exactly how to poke it.

“i'm not scared,” she insists, sitting up straighter.

“then prove it!”

lucy freezes. the air between you charged with something she doesn’t quite know how to name. every ounce of logic in her brain is screaming bad idea, but it’s drowned out by the overwhelming desire to close the space between you. just this once. ust for the sake of practice.

“this is...for practice,” she says finally, the words shaky, as if she’s reminding herself more than you.

“exactly.” your voice is soft now, steady. reassuring.

she hesitates for a heartbeat longer, her eyes searching yours for any sign that this is some cruel joke, a trap, a mistake. but all she sees is you: familiar and warm and impossibly close. before she can talk herself out of it, lucy leans in.

the kiss is tentative at first, her lips brushing yours with a softness that surprises even her. it’s careful, until you don’t pull away. when you lean into her instead, it deepens. the warmth of your mouth sends a jolt through her entire body, a shiver that starts at the base of her spine and works its way up.

her hands hover uncertainly in the air before finding your shoulders and holding on for dear life. lucy senses you smiling against her lips, and feeling the curve of your mouth against her own sends her poor heart stumbling in her chest. stumbling, then falling. falling deeper than it ever has before.

your lips taste like the chapstick she applied on them earlier, reasoning that they’d been looking a little too dry when -in reality- all she wanted was an excuse to get to see you from up close.

now, that same gloss smears against lucy’s own, leaving the faint taste of cherry in her mouth. she wants to taste of cherry everywhere, overcome with an unexplainable urge to drown in the flavor altogether: a sweet trail drawn slowly along the zipper of her vault jumpsuit. perhaps even lower, after, so that when you’ll come back up to lucy’s mouth, you’ll taste of her instead of cherries and she’ll get a taste of that, too.

when you are the one to pull back first, heat rushes to her cheeks. you're both breathing a little harder, the space between you buzzing with something electric.

“well,” you begin, your tongue darting out to wet those lips. lucy finds herself watching, mesmerized. “that wasn't so bad, was it?”

her heart is pounding so loudly she's sure you can hear it from where you’re sitting. “uh...no. not bad!”

you grin, leaning back on your hands like nothing monumental just happened.

“we're definitely ready for marriage now,” you conclude, teasing.

later that night, after she’s made sure that the doors to her room are locked, lucy slumps down into the comfort of her bed.

her pillow is still crumpled where you sat earlier.

when lucy presses it between her legs, her face in the bedsheets to stifle her sighs, she smells cherries.

the door to lucy’s quarters hisses shut behind you.

lucy stumbles backward, her lips already pressed to yours, her hands fumbling against the curve of your waist to steady herself. the room feels smaller than usual, the bed barely a few feet away.

“just…practice…” she murmurs between kisses, her voice breathless and a little shaky.

“exactly,” you whisper back, your lips brushing hers again before moving to her jaw.

lucy hums in agreement, though the way her hands tighten on your waist as your lips find her neck suggests she’s not really thinking about marriage prep, potential husbands, or the repopulation anymore.

after that first kiss, something shifted between you. something neither of you could explain but could not resist either. what once was supposed to be casual, a vault-sanctioned form of bonding, a way to keep things ‘normal’ in an environment that was anything but had turned into something way more the moment your lips touched hers that night in her quarters. ‘normal’ went out the window then.

it’s become a familiar pattern over the last few weeks: a fleeting glance across the cafeteria, a brush of hands in the halls, a whispered promise to meet later when no one’s around.

not that you ever talked about it. with all the rules in vault 33, the unspoken one between you both was the most important of all: keep it light, keep it safe. you never pushed further than kisses, never ventured beyond the safety of your blue and yellow vault suits. anything else would be too much, too real.

still, it didn’t matter how many rules you set for yourselves; staying away wasn’t an option. not anymore.

lucy’s back hits the edge of the bed, and she lets out a quiet laugh, her cheeks flushed. “we’re getting really good at this,” she teases.

you grin, leaning down to press another kiss to her lips. “we’re dedicated to the craft,”

her laugh softens into a sigh as you pull back slightly and she can’t chase your mouth with hers, your foreheads touching.

“this isn’t weird, right?” she asks suddenly, her voice quieter now.

you tilt your head, brushing your nose against hers and drawing another chuckle from her. “weird?”

“yeah.” lucy swallows. “i mean, we’re best friends. and we’re…”

“practicing,” you finish for her.

“right,” she nods quickly. “practicing!”

you don’t say what you’re both thinking: that this doesn’t feel like what it was supposed to be. that it never did, to begin with.

instead, you kiss her again, slow and deliberate, letting the moment stretch. lucy’s hands finally settle on your waist, pulling you closer as her nerves melt away.

all these weeks of making out under the disguise of practicing for a hypothetical marriage neither of you had ever shown any interest in had been good already. great, even. better than anything else you’ve ever known. which truthfully isn’t that much, but it still counts for something that you’re more than willing for lucy to be your first.

the only inconvenience to your little escapades would come later, after sneaking out of her room: the shameful feeling of your arousal, a stubborn reminder that you could not truly be casual about any of this.

still, leaving lucy’s quarters with your wetness pooling between your legs uncomfortably would always be worth having the little of her that you'd been granted.

perhaps one day, it would actually feel like enough. until then, you'll continue with the familiar pattern you've both fallen into. you'll let her touch you through the way too restrictive fabric and say a little prayer that, one of these days, she will go straight for the zipper instead.

[kissingmensbiceps]

Thinking about virgin!loser!Satoru Gojo who is a complete and utter poindexter, who just prays to the heavens above that an angel will fall from the sky (aka you) and into his bed to fuck him raw. His mama always told him to pray before bed. “Don’t forget your prayers sweetie,” she’d say. So that’s what he did, locking his bedroom door to conceal his acts from the rest of the world, hoping that God couldn’t peer through the cracks. He’d get on his knees, looking at the stars in the nighttime sky and pray for you. His goddess, the one and only woman that would give him life. You just looked so gorgeous, so sexy, so fuckable—but that reminds me! Silly Satoru is only a pure little virgin, a nineteen year old virgin.

His only dream is to get fucked by a pretty lady, just like how Suguru or Kento had described their countless hook ups. Satoru didn’t want to lie anymore. 8 bodies. That was the lie he told. Why would he admit that he was waiting, waiting for his girl, the one that was meant to take his pureness, his good religious faith? He wanted to give it all up to you.

Satoru swears that it’s wrong but he can’t find a bone in his sweaty body to care, pumping his fist to the mere thought of you. God, you looked so damn pretty. He’s a poor, horny boy who can’t wait to get his filthy little paws on his meal, a meal that’s been on his mind; the tip of his tongue, and teasing him by just gently grazing his tastebuds. His brain consists of only one thing: you riding his rock hard cock over and over, squeezing whatever liquids he had left in him, he wanted you to leave him dry. He wanted you to grab his chin, jerk his head so roughly that a trip to urgent care may be needed in the morning. Satoru wants you to be mean.

Don’t go easy on him, of course he’s sure he can take the heat. “But it’s your first time, I don’t want to be mean!” Like your words could even make him reconsider. He doesn’t give up, begging you like a pathetic dog, a whimpering needy mess on his sheets, covered in sweat, yet you haven’t even touched his poor throbbing cock yet. It makes it seem all the wrong. Fucking him ruthlessly in his childhood bedroom. “What time did your mom say she’d be home?” Satoru doesn’t answer, he wants your hands, your soft delicate hands to trace and caress his body, nails dug into the creamy skin of his back. He wants to hear you scream, scream his name, please.

Satoru has yearned for this night, the night where it would all be lost, forgotten, be apart of his past. He would have you. Do anything you want to him, he wants you to have no mercy, rip him apart, rip his soul apart. Peel his skin open, crawl your way into his heart and lay there to rest. Manhandle him, hunt him down. Take away his purity, cum on his cock however many times you want, baby. He is yours for the taking. Tear him apart and nip at his body, wear him down to the bone until you are completely satisfied. That would be his ecstasy, help him reach his utopia, make him feel euphoric.

[absoluteocellibehavior]

WOUGH- Alright, fellas. Alright, let's wipe away the tears and push through! While I usually leave the music up to Potato Lord, might I recommend "Remember Me" by Thomas Bergersen for this particular read. To be honest, I've flipped back and forth between whether or not to see Faroe as The Fool or The World but, yes. The World fits her the best. The World is a continuous cycle of completion and new beginnings. I find it evident to revisit something said in Noel's card analysis:

Faroe is a constant presence in the narrative of Malevolent, representing and bordering the cycles and arcs within it. This is represented by the continuous wreath around Faroe as well as the borders of Faroe's song on the outside of it. While this wreath is usually laurels, they are Forget-Me-Nots in this case. This especially hurts for many reasons. Firstly, we know that Arthur carries that guilt over Faroe with him. He won't forget her. She is his guiding light (quite literally as we learn from Malam) and continues to motivate Arthur to keep going. This is evident in episodes like Coda, where memories of Faroe are the things that are keeping Arthur fighting for his life. Secondly, if you weren't aware, the patrons were given three options during the chapters of Part 40 I for Arthur to have written down to "forget" before heading into the Order. These being 1.) forgetting meeting John, 2.) forgetting meeting Oscar, or 3.) forgetting about the duck pond. We are well aware of what was chosen. Arthur won't forget her. And I believe that Oscar would have been willing to take on that sacrifice if he knew and was given the choice himself. Notice the teeny, teeny, little star on Faroe's cardigan. Near her heart chakra. Both Faroe and Oscar are incredibly empathetic, compassionate, and forgiving which are all aligned with this chakra in particular. It was discussed previously, about the parallels between everyone in the cards looking in particular directions. John and Arthur are looking upward. Noel and Oscar are looking downward into their respective pools. Kayne sees through it all and directly at us (he is aware of us listening, you know <3. Just listen to Part 20 again <33. All of that "determinist" stuff he tells Arthur? Yeah. Referring to those silly little votes each chapter). And Faroe is looking away. For The World, this represents looking into the past while your body is moving forward to the future. Faroe, herself, is suspended in both worlds. While her physical being and presence is something of the past, she still remains a key figure in the present. She looks back to Arthur shining brightly with the echoes of John behind him. Something akin to tears rain from the Moon, disturbing the still waters and memories of Faroe. It's not a bad thing. No. Remember that Arthur is honoring her memory by knowing that his life is still worth living. He lives for her still and she is with him always. To me, this focuses much on the transition from Season Four to Season Five. Season Four is where Arthur shined the most, leaving John mostly in the dark. This is in the past now as the Moon hangs high within the wreath. Now we step into a new beginning where it is John's time to learn and time to grow. This is certainly shown in his acceptance of him being something entirely his own during the encounter with the Hag. Outside of the wreath of Forget Me Nots, you see the Sun shining brightly and hanging above.

Well, doesn't that look familiar... <3. The Sun represents hope and joy. The prospect of what they have to do for Kayne in Season Five is difficult and conflicting in of itself. Miles to go... However, there can be the tiniest bit of hope that maybe. Just maybe. The next time their cycle completes, three pairs of feet step through instead. That finally, like Faroe's favorite story, all three of them are able to cross that bridge into the next chapter.

XXI The World

I love you so (I love you, too)

pssstt sheet music reference from @kkachis btw <3

[little-mrs-morales]

Public Enemy

Dieter Bravo x PA F!Reader

Summary: Dieter is dramatic about another meme moment from his life.

Warning: lot of Fluff!

"I'm public enemy number one," Dieter moaned dramatically, sprawling across the couch in your shared trailer. A green Sheraton robe slipped off his shoulder in his typical over-the-top fashion. "Did you see the comments? They're calling me a monster! A child kicker! A baby dropper!"

You barely looked up from your phone, scrolling through the endless barrage of emails from PR. Another day, another Bravo scandal. "You didn't kickt he kid, Dieter. You tripped, the kid tripped. Both of you ended up face down on the sidewalk. It's not like you threw them into traffic."

"It doesn’t matter what actually happened!" He sat up, clutching the edge of the robe like a scandalized Victorian widow. "What matters is how it looks! Have you seen the memes? My face is everywhere! There's one of me Photoshopped as a soccer player about to score—"

"Yeah, I’ve seen it," you interrupted chuckling, holding up your phone to show him. "You’re not even in the top 20 trending topics anymore. Taylor Swift’s cat has taken over."

Dieter squinted at the screen like you’d just insulted his entire existence."Wait, I’m not in the top 20? People don’t even care that I kicked a kid?"

"You didn’t kick the kid!" you repeated, your patience fraying at the edges. "And no, they don’t care. The world has moved on, as it always does. You’re not public enemy number one. You’re not even close."

He slumped back against the couch, deflated. "Well, that’s... disappointing. I thought at least I’d get some kind of villain arc out of this."

You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound breaking through his pitiful pout. Setting your phone down, you crossed the room and dropped onto the couch beside him. "Relax, Dieter. You’re not a villain. You’re just… clumsy. And honestly? That kid tripped first. If anything, they should be apologizing to you." 

His eyes lit up like a child being told they could have dessert before dinner. "You think so?" 

"No," you deadpanned, pushing his shoulder lightly. "But I think we can spin this. You’ve got a puppy calendar shoot next week. We’ll post a few pictures, make people forget about the kid thing. Puppies fix everything."

Dieter groaned, flopping dramatically against you. "Fine. But only if you promise to get me one of those puppies after the shoot. I need emotional support after this trauma."

"Trauma?" You rolled your eyes, fighting back a smile. "You tripped on the sidewalk. The kid's probably forgotten about it already."

"Yeah, but the memes will live forever," he muttered into your shoulder. 

You sighed, patting his head like the overgrown child he was. "And so will your career, Dieter. Now stop sulking. We’ve got work to do."

For a moment, he was quiet, his head resting comfortably on your shoulder. Then, in typical Dieter fashion, he whispered, "You’ll still love me when I’m canceled, right?"

You didn’t even hesitate. "Dieter, you’re not even in the top 20 reasons people are mad today. You are not gonna get canceled. Definitely not after the puppy calendar."

He grinned, a spark of his usual mischief returning. "Or… I can make a nude calendar," he added, shifting to lay across the couch and dropping his head dramatically into your lap. "I mean, I’m hot as hell. People would eat that up."

You smacked his forehead lightly, earning an exaggerated groan. "Ow! Rude!" he whined, tilting his head to pout at you. "And you can’t even deny it. You do love the nudes I send when we’re apart!"

Your hand instinctively moved to his messy hair, smoothing it out in slow strokes. "Dieter," you warned, trying not to smile. 

He caught the faint curve of your lips and smirked. "See? You can’t deny it. You’re blushing." 

"I am not blushing," you countered, your fingers still threading through his wild curls. 

"You are," he teased, closing his eyes and sinking further into your touch. His voice dropped into a theatrical sigh. "But even if you weren’t, I’d forgive you. Because I’m a generous man. A kind man. A man who loves you even when you’re mean to me."

You rolled your eyes, your fingers gently tugging at his hair. "You’re impossible."

He opened one eye, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "Yeah, but I’m your impossible." 

Your teasing expression softened. "You are. And I love you, ridiculousness and all." 

That took the wind out of his dramatics. For a moment, his grin faltered, replaced by something more genuine. "Good," he murmured, his voice quieter now. "Because I love you too."

You smiled, brushing a stray curl from his forehead. "And you’re stuck with me."

"Best decision of your life," he quipped, though his words held none of his usual bravado. He closed his eyes again, his body finally relaxing in your lap. 

As your fingers continued to stroke his hair, he added with a sleepy grin, "Now, about that nude calendar…"

You smacked his shoulder lightly, shaking your head with a laugh. 

"See? Mean to me, wanted one for your eyes only" he mumbled, already halfway to sleep. 

And for once, the world outside didn’t matter. Just you, Dieter, and the soft rhythm of your breathing together. 

[spcartmanweek]

💛 Welcome to Cartman Week 2025! Cartman Week is a character appreciation week celebrating the one and only Eric Cartman! The event will run from February 10th - February 16th. We accept and encourage all types of fanwork including fanart, fanfiction, playlists, edits, and graphics.

🩵 Make sure to tag your posts #CartmanWeek2025 so we can find and share your work!

✍️ For writers we have an AO3 collection under the name “CartmanWeek2025”. To add your fic to the collection, type that name into the “Post to Collections/Challenges” input box when adding your work, and it should appear.

❤️ Late submissions will be accepted, as will entries posted on the “wrong” day! We will be sharing submissions up to one month after the event ends.

💛 If you have any questions, feel free to send us an ask!

🩵 Don't forget to read our carrd for more information. You can also find us on Bluesky and Twitter/X!

❤️ Read ahead for a written list of prompts with explanations. Remember: You can be as loose with the prompts as you want, and you can mix-and-match as you see fit. It’s up to your interpretation. Have fun!

Day 1 | Toys / Favorite Snacks

★ Toys - After all, this is a guy who loves his dollies and action figures. This prompt is dedicated to Cartman and his toys! Tea parties, cowboy shootouts, complex and tragic murder mysteries… Get creative!

★ Favorite Snacks - Cheesy poofs, Snacky Cakes, cereal bombs… This prompt is all about Cartman enjoying his favorite snacks, however you would like to portray it.

Day 2 | Fun Day Out / Animals

★ Fun Day Out - This one is self-explanatory! A fun day out could be to Casa Bonita or to a theme park or just a nice day with all his friends who love him soooo much.

★ Animals - Animals can be anything from Cartman spending time with his pets (Mr. Kitty and/or Fluffy the pig) to portraying Cartman as an animal, furry, or kemonomimi.

Day 3 | Fighting / Scheme

★ Fighting - This guy will fight with anyone, so let’s see it! It could be a fight between Cartman and a known rival like Kyle or Wendy, or a fight with his mom, the school, the government, the world!

★ Scheme - He’s always scheming, this one… This prompt can be dedicated to a plot he’s already devised on the show, or a brand new nasty trick from your imagination.

Day 4 | Family / Fate

★ Family - Cartman and family! Liane, Scott Tenorman, a bowl of chili, Post COVID Cartman with his wife and kids, or your own AU family/fankids!

★ Fate - What this prompt means is up to your interpretation. The fate of Cartman’s future, the red string of fate with your favorite ship… There is no wrong answer!

Day 5 | Valentine’s Day / Alter-ego

★ Valentine’s Day - Today is Valentine’s Day, and we picked this week to dedicate to our favorite matchmaker because of it! Is his day as wonderful as he always hoped? Or a complete disaster? You decide!

★ Alter-ego - A man of many personalities. From Cupid Me to Mitch Conner to wizard Cartman and beyond. This prompt is dedicated to your favorite Cartman alias!

Day 6 | Dress-up / Performance

★ Dress-up - A prompt to get fancy with! Drag, costumes, formal attire, etc. Pick your favorite Cartman outfit or design/describe a new one!

★ Performance - This prompt is dedicated to Cartman’s love of outlandish performance! Some examples are Cartman with one of his various musical pursuits (Fingerbang, Faith +1, Moop), theater, or pairing this prompt with dress-up!

Day 7 | Free Day

★ Free Day - Our final day is a free day! Whateva, whateva, you do what you want!